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mcustorm · 3 years

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In Defense of a Black Cyclops

In case my username didn’t make it clear, the single most anticipated visual project for me is the MCU’s interpretation of the X-Men, which hasn’t even been announced yet [officially]. And ladies and gents, I have found your Cyclops:

Good ol’ Alfred Enoch, who we all know from Harry Potter and How to Get Away With Murder. If you’re not familiar with HTGAWM, know that his character goes from the de facto leader of the ragtag (murderers) and most cherished protege of Viola Davis’ Professor X to taking more of a grimdark turn after his girlfriend’s death. Sound at least somewhat familiar?

Enoch also embodies the physicality of the character well, seeing as to how he’s “slim”, 6′4(!!), black, and notoriously lanky. Wait, one of these isn’t like the others.

In general I hate fancasting. Everyone generally picks from the same pool of about 30 actors (Peeps, neither Taron nor Daniel is a good Wolverine choice. Argue with your mother!), and most all of it is based on physicality, except when it absolutely should be (like say, choosing a ~5′10 dark-skinned black woman for Storm).

And I think there’s some malarkey afoot. I think there needs to be some serious consideration on part of fancasters and actual casting agents alike to rethink race when it comes to the [white] X-Men, especially since they’re the X-Men of all teams. So I’ll make the case for a black Cyclops:

1. There is no quota on Black X-Men: There��s a bug in your ear that’s been whispering lies to you for years, it says something to the effect of “We need a black person on the team for diversity. How bout Storm?” And you’ve gotten complacent. Storm does not have to be the only black person on your X-Men roster.

2. The X-Men represent diversity: Iceman is gay, Cyclops and Prof. X are disabled (sorta), there are plenty of women, oh and everybody except Storm is white. Of the A-List X-Men, there is only *one* POC character. I’d argue that an MCU X-Men needs to champion diversity like never before.

3. The X-Men represent minority struggle while being mostly white: There’s a cognitive dissonance in the metaphor that has always been there, and for the most part, nobody cares. To appeal to the white readers of the 60′s, the X-Men were all initially white. That way, the message of the mutants could be related to the audience with a familiar face. We don’t need to approach the problem that way in 202?

4. Just because that’s the way it’s always been, doesn’t mean that’s the way it should be: The first line of defense. Sorry, that will never be a good justification for literally any idea. It’s time for some more critical thinking.

5. We don’t all want to be Bishop: So say you’re white and you have a kid who for his birthday having a costume party. You’ve bought some X-Men costumes and you want each kid to pick one. 9 white kids and one black kid show up to your house. As the kids deliberate who gets what costume, be it Cyke or Wolvie or whatever, you yell at everybody to “STOP!”, point to the one black kid and tell him “You’re gonna be Bishop. That’s it, end of story!”

We don’t all want to be Bishop. The black child could have the best Cyclops interpretation within him, but you’ll never know if you don’t let him try. And that’s no different from the Black actors of Hollywood. There’s no reason why all of the black talent should *have* to compete for the role of Bishop or Storm, which I’ve discussed, while Joe Schmo can walk up and audition for literally anybody he wants.

Jharrel Jerome is 23 and has an Emmy to his name. He needs to be in the MCU in some capacity, period. Stephan James is another. How bout Damson Idris. Ashton Sanders. But no, no, let’s fancast Dacre Montgomery or Ansel or Joe Keery again as [Human Torch, Wolverine, Iceman, Angel, I’ve literally seen it all.]

6. Nobody wants to see the B-team if it comes down to it. The next line of defense from your racebending naysayers after “That’s the way it’s always been!” is “Well, what about Psylocke, Bishop, Forge and Jubilee?” who are otherwise known as B-tier X-Men. The problem is, we’ve got limited time and limited spots.

So since the X-Men is all about wonky metaphors that make half sense, let me give you another: Let’s say somebody approaches you and says “Hey buddy, I got two free concert tickets for ya! You can either see Michael Jackson Sings the Blues, or you can go see Justin Timberlake. Free of charge!”

Now, are you used to MJ singing the blues? No! Do you have a problem with going to see Justin Timberlake? No, he’s fine on a Wednesday! He had that one little diddy we liked that one time. We’d love to see him eventually! But are you gonna say, “fuck that, I’m going to see MJ Sings the Blues” regardless? Hell yes, because that’s still Michael Jackson. He’s gonna give the same amazing performance he always does, it’s just gonna be the blues. And speaking of blues...

7. Black is not Blue, Brown is not Blue: Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard this one: “I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or green, I’m going to treat you all the same!” I will not say all have this intention, but some fancasters have noticed that the racial diversity is kinda low within the A-List X-Men, so they oh-so-generously give the following roles to a black or brown person: Iceman, Nightcrawler, Beast.

Notice the pattern? It’s a microaggression, and it’s bullshit. What these fancasters are implicitly telling you is that, yes the actors will be black or brown, but when the action starts we can ignore that. They’ll be blue by then. In other words, you in fact do care if they’re purple or green. Nobody will cry foul if Dev Patel gets to play Nightcrawler (because that’s a common one I see), but should Anna Diop be Starfire or Michael B. Jordan be Human Torch, I bet there’d be backlash. Oh wait. If that’s you, please stop acting like you actually value diversity. You don’t want to see black or brown skin, period. Unless of course, it’s Storm (refer to point #1).

But wait, there’s more! When brown characters get whitewashed in these movies, it’s crickets! So eventually it’s revealed implicitly that proclaimers of point #4 only care about it one way.

8. Professor X should not be black if you’re not willing to change anyone else: The next line of defense is that some people say the professor should be black, if anybody HAS to be racebent. Something something MLK Jr., Civil Rights or some shit. Number one, I’m not reducing Professor X to being a magical negro for 9 white people (and Storm!) who for all intents and purposes get to have all the action. Number 2, the Professor X/MLK/Magneto/Malcolm X comparison is an oversimplifying disservice to ALL FOUR of those people. I hate that line whenever I see it, please watch a documentary my friends.

9. The Candidates for Racebending: For me, the A-List X-Men are Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel, Beast, Wolverine, Storm, Gambit, Rogue, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Kitty Pryde. Now, who should be exempt from the racebending? Storm, she’s our designated minority. Gambit, he’s Cajun and they’re white (generally speaking, that’s a fun bit of research). Wolverine, Colossus, and Nightcrawler, because their nationality/ethnicity was the whole point of the Giant-Size premise in the first place. Angel, because his character embodies a privileged white male. Beast and Iceman, I don’t care one way or another (Point #7).

That leaves Cyclops, Rogue, Jean Grey, and Kitty Pryde. Now Jean Grey is a redhead, and we all know that every time a redhead is racebent people sharpen their pitchforks (Mary Jane, Wally West, Iris West), so I will cede the ground on Jean if only so that my ginger friends can get their rep. Kitty Pryde is Jewish, but Jews of color exist. Rogue is from the South. And Cyclops is, well, just Cyclops. That makes those three characters good options for more diversity. But allow me to make the case for Cyclops, specifically.

10. It’s not just diversity for diversity’s sake: If you had to pick who the main character of the X-Men is supposed to be, most would say Cyclops. And so in a series that highlights racial discrimination in society, it makes sense that our main character be black. While changing Cyclops’ skin color should not change who he is as a character, it *should* recontextualize it. Now, as an eventual increasingly radical leader of the X-Men, Cyclops would evoke real life figures such as Colin Kaepernick or, shall I say, Martin Luther King, Jr.

Not that most X-Men fans and writers truly think about what it means to be black anyways. Storm’s minority status is almost always put through the lens of her being a mutant and not her being a black woman. In other words, you can’t argue that making a character black will fundamentally change his or her character when you haven’t even analyzed the racial context of the black character(s) you already have. Another concept that the MCU X-Men should tackle: intersectionality.

11. Representation matters: I have to say it: Chadwick Boseman’s Black Panther hit different. And now he is tragically gone. At the end of the day, the MCU moving forward is down its most prominent black male superhero. Which has implications beyond just the movies themselves.

The women are in good hands. Shuri, Okoye, and Nakia are badasses in Wakanda, Valkyrie is ruling Asgard, Storm is almost assuredly on the way, RiRi Williams has already been cast, and Monica Rambeau is here and she’s not even at her most glorious yet. That doesn’t even include variable Δ, or the number of characters who can and will be racebent. And I’ll note again that to me, Gamora doesn’t count, because she’s green (#7 really pisses me off because it’s so blatant. I hate it). Of course from a behind the camera perspective we love black women getting work.

The men are a completely different story. Imma just go out and say it, I can’t stand Falcon and War Machine [in the MCU] because they’re not characters, they’re just two of a slew of MCU minority sidekicks who have essentially been at the beck and call of Captain America and Iron Man, respectively. You cannot tell Falcon’s story without mentioning Cap. The reverse is not true. There’s a whole essay that could be and have been written on “Minorities in the MCU, pre-Black Panther”. Remember, there’s a reason BP made so much noise in the first place.

So excluding those two we have, let’s see, M’Baku, Blade, and Fury who aren’t exactly the most superheroic superheroes, Eli Bradley is proooobably coming, I doubt Miles Morales is coming (because he’s just Peter Parker in the MCU), Luke Cage(?) Bishop(??), Sunspot(???), Blue Marvel(????). Not only are they not A-List, I would not put money on any of them being in the MCU any time soon.

Cyclops is thee Captain America of the X-Men. He’s the frontman. He’s the poster boy. He’s the “boy scout”, which in other words means he’s the hero, if there has to be one. It would mean a lot right now, and specifically *right now*, if he were to be black. The MCU needs it. It NEEDS it.

12. The X-Men is the Summers Story: I’ll even make the case that if just one character needs to racebent, then it should be Cyclops, because that of course implies that other related characters need to be black because half of the X-Men universe is in fact a part of the Summers family.

So now Cable is black. Corsair is black. Havok is black. And one of the most central stories in the X-Men mythos, the Summers family drama, is now a black family drama set in space or the future or where the fuck ever. The concept is boundary pushing. When white families have drama in the media, it gets to be Game of Thrones or Star Wars, while when black families have drama in the media, it has to be black people arguing in a kitchen or living room about their various earthly traumas (I’m @’ing you, Mr. Perry). I mean, that’s all fine and good often times, but I want my black family drama in space, dammit.

And again, this is the X-Men, the series that’s all about *minorities* and their struggle, so again, why not?

Oh, and I’ll even throw out a Havok fancast for you: How bout Jharrel Jerome?

#cyclops #scott summers #the mutants #monica rambeau #X-men #xmen #marvel #MCU #fancast #jharrel would actually be a better sunspot #but you get the point #my man would have OPTIONS

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kithtaehyung · 3 years

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✨ hi ryen 🪐🌟💖🌙

HELL YEAH TIME TO SHOWER SHARIKA IN THE LOVE SHE DESERVES!!!!💖💖💖

Update: okay so like, how did you expect me to even function when your 100jin posts are just ALL RIGHT THERE?? every time one of them comes up i'm just like, "MOVE, I NEED VARIETY IN THESE COMMENTS!!"

1) anyways, so the first post is a 100jin post LMAO because pied piper lilac jin literally makes my heart clench and the fact that you colored him so damn well here makes it sing. i don't know how you did this but?? i'm stunned.

2) i want to talk about how high quality this namjin wtf moments post is because LOOK AT IT. the coloring, captions, cuts -- everything is top notch and the moment is just.. perfection. i love how you giffed this dskfjklsd. it's so hot. they're hot. you're hot. now i'm hot.. people should realize how long these types of posts really take, from the video digging, clipping, coloring, captioning, timing of the captions, etc. i feel like they would appreciate them so much more.

3) so as much as i love bangtan, i really despise how they are washed in the original concept photos... thank god we have you because damn. you brought out their glow in these butter concepts for version 2 and i cannot thank you enough. *chef's big fcking kiss*

4) OKAY I HAVE TO PUT ANOTHER 100JIN BECAUSE THIS MF IS SO FINE!!!! day 42 will live in infamy. i literally gasped so loud the first time he came on screen and then got on tumblr to immediately see your gifs.. the double-down was not good to me. i hate you for this one actually (said lovingly.)

5) lastly (but definitely not least!) i'm going back to your butter sweeter edits because i remember these being the worst when it came to whitewashing. when your photos came out i was like "YES, SHARIKA" because you did them so much justice. even i had trouble coloring these and just ended up scrapping them for a bangtan magazine LOL you did some sort of magic here so whatever your secret is, bottle it up.

in conclusion: @rosebowl is synonymous with queen. i didn't even scrape the surface of your beautiful edits and gifs, ma'am. you're so talented and big-brained and you give us SO MUCH CONTENT. thank you endlessly for giving the boys glow and for bringing jinnie content to our dashes. i love you so much :(((

#sharika i can't even begin to describe how thankful i am!!#send me a ✨ and i'll comment on five creations!#sharika!#sweet moots #ask games #mailbox💌

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acescreations · 3 years

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Roleplay Transcript (pt. 1)

So this is an old roleplay I got permission from my RP partner to post to my writing blog. I guess revisiting this is kind of a birthday gift to myself and also an apology gift to all of you guys for not writing for shit.

Warnings: Fighting, swearing, violence, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, homophobia, panic attacks

Ship(s): Platonic Analogical

Word Count: 12,553

When Logan went to school on his first day of junior year, he was filled with a strange sense of pride. Students shot glances at him, seemingly worried that Logan would for some reason pick a fight with them, which he would only really do if they were being a jerk and deserved it. Teachers read his name off the attendance list with a hopeless tone upon realizing they had Logan, before looking up with a disappointed resignation when they saw Logan's patch of electric blue hair. Logan had built up a reputation of being strong, of being tough. Just about every kid in school knew about him, whether they be the bullies he fought, the kids he was defending from the bullies, or just the people who saw the fights he was in.

Virgil’s first day at Mindset High was pretty scary. He didnt make friends easily, and he felt like everyone was judging him. He wore a soft lavender hoodie and royal purple sweat pants. Everyone seemed scared of this guy called Logan. I mean, he seemed so grumpy.. He sighed, sitting next to Logan.

Logan blinked in surprise as he watched another student sit down next to him. Most people tried to avoid him as much as possible, so he usually sat alone during class. Even when there were only enough desks for each student in the classroom, people usually pulled their desk a distance away after even the slightest glance from Logan. He guessed this kid sitting next to him hadn't heard of his reputation yet. Well, unfortunately for him, the two were in Logan's least favorite class: history. The class that Logan now associated with whitewashed nationalist propaganda, and arguing with the teacher.

Virgil decided that he would at least get to know this strange man that everyone seemed so.. reluctant to like？ “Uh, hello, I’m.. well, if.. I’m Virgil.” He said tamely, he hoped that they could.. maybe talk？A friend would be nice.

Logan looked over at Virgil with an even, if not cold, expression. That wasn't a name he recognized, so this was probably a new student, which explained why they were actually talking to him. "Logan," he said shortly. They'd learn soon enough that Logan was someone you didn't want to be associated with if you want to have even just a neutral social standing.

Virgil nodded nervously. The dude seemed to be angry at him？Did he provoke him？Should he move seats？ He sighed as he looked down at his work.

Logan put his feet up on the table in front of him, pulling out his phone as he waited for the teacher to, as he put it, "begin his attempt at brainwashing a class of impressionable teenagers."

“Today we shall learn about the history of people that.. well.. people who.. the homosexuals.. and.. others.” Virgil was completely stunned, before immediately grtting dissapointed. “Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” He mumbled.

"Oh hell no," Logan said out loud. Literally everyone in the room probably already guessed about Logan not being straight, so he didn't have anything to lose from being vocal about his distaste over the lesson. "Oh, FUCK no." Underneath his iwn complaining, however, he heard Virgil's much more quiet complaint. Okay, so this guy is actually pretty chill. That's good to know. By "chill" Logan meant "not a smallminded conservative" but those pretty much meant the same thing to him.

Virgil sighed. “This.. is fine.” He said. He was a closeted gay boy, he didnt need this. “Now, this shall be respectful..” The teacher rolled her eyes. “Now, what do we know about.. you know.. those people.”

Logan heard what Virgil said, but to him, this most certainly was not fine. He had already picked his battles, and he picked all of them. "If it's gonna be respectful then why don't you just say the word 'Gay'?" he yelled at the teacher.

The class went dead silent. Virgil sighed softly. If someone found out he was gay, he would die on the inside. “Well, as you all know, the bible said that homosexuals.. will rot in hell.”

"FALSEHOOD!" Logan screamed, slamming his hands on the table as he stood up. "Respectful my ass! And how is this even history?!" Logan would go on, but if he's learned anything from the debate team, it's to let people keep saying stupid shit for Logan to prove wrong.

“Homosexuality is a diease. Now, now more recent years, we have homosexuality shoved down our throats. This is causing more parents to force their children to be gay. This all started because a black trans-” “Please stop talking..” Virgil groaned, tempted to just bash his head into the table.

"Gayness is NOT a disease," Logan said, smacking his hand on the table as he began talking over the teacher. "It's a human characteristic just like height or eye color. Gayness is NOT being 'shoved down our throats,'" he smacked the table again, "people are just getting introduced to labels they didn't originally have. Parents are NOT forcing their children to be gay-" smack "- most are actually beating and throwing their children out of their homes for being gay. But you know what? You just keep talking. Maybe one of these days you'll actually say something intelligent."

“You come from a biased pretense！You only see the side of the homosexuals, thats why you are one of the-” “OH, FOR FUCKS SAKE, CHANGE THE GOD DAMN SUBJECT YOU-” “Damn pastel！Didnt know you could speak.” A guy called out.

Logan immediately turned and shot a glare at the person who insulted Virgil, forgetting the current feud with the teacher for a moment. "If you're going to waste oxygen like that, at least keep it relevant to the conversation." Logan then turned back to the teacher. "You're the fucking biased one, you homophobe!" he shouted, pointing a finger at the teacher as he leaned nearly halfway across the table to yell at him.

“I am not a homophobe！I like.. the lesbians.” The teacher smirked, as Virgil began to laugh. Hes just,, this teacher, how did you get a job？ ”Fine. We will move onto a differ-”

For once in his life, Logan is so stunned by by what he's hearing reaches a loss for words. "How did you even get your teaching degree, you fucking creep?"

“I try to act respectful, and you insult me？I think people like you just stir up drama to draw attention to yourself.” Virgil had stopped laughing. He felt.. guilty. He shouldnt have laughed. Maybe the teacher was right？

Logan went completely silent, his hands curling into fists. "Don't. You. Ever. Generalize me. Like that." Then, to make sure he didn't try to physically fight his teacher, he walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Virgil watched Logan leave, watched everyone whispering about how freaky Logan was. How gay he was.. Virgil stayed quiet and refused to speak to anyone.

Logan stormed down the hallway, absolutely fuming. He ended up in the school's gym, knowing there wasn't a gym class that period. He let out a shout of frustration as he punched a wall, which hurt, obviously, but it satisfied him and let out some of his anger. After that he just stood there, fist against the wall, breathing heavily.

Virgils scheduele was lost, so he asked around for his next class. They led him to the schools gym, and left him there, lost and confused. Time to make an unlikely friend.

Logan had since moved to sit on the bleachers, glancing up to glare as Virgil entered the gym. He was currently in a mindset that nobody would be friendly towards him, especially right now.

Virgil felt the glare, but sighed. He did promise Patton to make one friend at this god forsaken hell hole. He slowly walks up to Logan. “Uhrm, hi？”

"What do you want?" Logan growled. He recognized that this was the person who was sitting beside him in history, but he still felt like he'd antagonize Logan anyway. Most people did anyway.

He gave Logan a weak smile. “A..Are you okay？” He tilted his head. ”And where is the rest of our class？” He expected at least one othed person to come in. Poor thing.

"I'm fine," Logan snapped defensively, in a counter-productive attempt at convincing Virgil that that was actually true. "And there isn't a class in here right now." Logan didn't have a gym class at all. He was actually skipping a class right now, but it wasn't like his teacher would miss him anyway.

“Oh..” He stammered, looked down at the floor guiltily. “Do you know where S7 is？” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And.. wait. Why arent you in class.. oh.”

Logan sighed as he stood up. "Yeah, come on." He gestured for Virgil to follow him with a small shrug of a shoulder.

Virgil smiled. “Thank you, Logan.” He said softly, following behind him, glad that Logan would do this for him.

Logan shrugged as he began leading Virgil to his classroom. "Whatever," he muttered. Whatever it took to get himself his alone time in the gym. He doubted it would do Virgil's social reputation much good to see him with Logan, though.

“To be honest, that ass of a teacher really should be fired. What kind of creep just likes lesbians？” He tried to make small talk.

"Basically the entire American public does, actually." Logan was pretty sure it was a rhetorical question, but it wasn't like he was wrong, he thought.

“oh.. well.. thats..” Virgil sighed. “Why were you there alone instead of hanging out with friends？” He seemed rather done.

Logan glanced back at Virgil, although he didn't stop walking. "Because there are classes going on right now," Logan said. It was true, although Logan wasn't hanging out with friends because he didn't have any. He just wasn't going to tell Virgil that.

“Dont you have a badass like, gang？Like everyone says？” He tilted his head, very confused. “Oh.. are you.. uh..” He was genuinely confused.

"A gang?" Logan said in mild surprise and disbelief. That was seriously what people said about him? Logan guessed he underestimated his own reputation.

“Yeah. Also, apparently you dont like when people steal your role, so you are going to beat my ass. If you are, then I guess do it here.” He has no fear for death anymore. This school sucked any hope of caring out of him.

"What exactly do people say my role is then?" Logan hadn't intended on carrying on a conversation for this long, or really at all, but he couldn't help but be curious as to what people said about him.

He stared up at the sky, he really didnt want to say this. Dear god, please strike him with lighting. Oh, no lighting？F- “You’re the bad boy that all the girls swoon over. Apparently you’re soft and sweet on the inside.” He scoffed slightly. His defense is up.

Logan stiffened as he continued walking, gagging a little. That was it. It was official. Logan hated his reputation. He supposed he'd have to work harder on establishing his reputation as being stone cold and heartless. He wasn't going to stop picking fights with bigots though, he knew that much. "Well, here's your class," he said to Virgil, stopping in front of a classroom before immediately turning go back to the gym instead of the class he had that period.

“Thanks Logan.” He gave him a weak grin. “Logan Man, Fighting off bigots day after day.” He scoffed, before it turned to a light giggle, and Virgil went into class. What a dork. A nice dork.

Logan glanced back as he walked off, turning back after Virgil walked into class. As he neared the gym again, he glanced down at his left knuckles. After punching the wall, they became red and sore, and Logan was starting to regret punching the wall. His hand still stung.

This is why you dont start a war on walls, you idiot. Virgils class exprience was.. intresting. They made up rumors about him and Logan, and Virgil wanted to vomit. Love always made him feel weird and uncomfortable, but hes absolutely sure hes just gay.

Logan sat back down in the gym bleachers. He didn't know what he was doing back here instead of going to class. He guessed he pretty much didn't want to hear whatever his classmates would say about him. That was actually the first time he stormed out in the middle of class like that, and he assumed that was what people would be talking about right now.

They began to gossip about Logan having a girlfriend, boyfriend, and then him being in a gang. Now they all think Logans a fucking gang leader. Good luck talking to anyone, Logie.

After sitting in the gym with nothing to do for a while, Logan stood back up and headed to the band room. That was where he usually went when he wanted alone time, the gym had just been closer that time. As he walked down, he realized that being a musician probably contributed to people thinking he's "soft and sweet on the inside" but fuck it. Music is probably the reason he doesn't throw hands with every mildly unpleasant person in his vicinity.

Virgil cant stop laughing at the pure idiocity, wanting to just record this and send it to Logan... Eh, later. Once he befriends Logan. He nods to himself as the bell rung. Now he could go find Logan！And hang out with him！

Logan had just reached the band room by the time the bell rang. "God dammit," he said loudly. Now he'd have to choose between letting out some energy and missing another class. Logan sat down behind the drumset in the room, pulling out his phone and earbuds. He figured his teacher wouldn't miss him, and really, who cares if the teacher calls his house? Who gives a shit? Certainly not him. So he put on a pair of fingerless gloves he kept with him, turned on his music, and played along to American Idiot.

Virgil was going to class, but heard... music？He quietly walks towards the sounds, peering in. They had a music room？！ Logan plays music？！ He quietly attempted to sneak in, to be able to hear better. He ended up tripping into a guitar, miraculously not breaking it.

Most people would've heard Virgil tripping as he snuck in, but not only was Logan listening to really loud music, but he was also playing a really loud instrument. But really, neither of those things meant much, because Logan was in The Zone. It would take a lot to break his focus.

Virgil was extremely impressed. Logan really was in the mood. He sat on the floor, just admiring the music.

Logan looked up once the song had ended, quickly pulling out his earbuds and jolting upwards once he saw Virgil sitting there. "What the hell are you doing here?"

“...Uhhhhh, I thought this was the cafeteria？Nice pl-playing.” He quickly stood up, immediately smackin into a cupboard and just sighing softly.

"Of course this isn't the fucking cafeteria, do you see any tabl-" Logan went quiet for a moment when he saw the knocked over guitar. He practically threw himself over the drumset as he ran to check on the guitar, because despite the fact that the school technically owned all of the instruments, that was Logan's Guitar. "The fuck did you do?!" Logan shouted as he checked the guitar over for any damage.

He quickly stood up. “See-ing a-as this isnt the cafeteria, I-I’m going to-” He began to speed for thr door.

Logan looked back up once he was sure his guitar was alright. Once he saw Virgil heading for the door, it occurred to him what he had just done. "I, I didn't mean to snap," he said apologetically, rubbing the back of his head as he looked away from Virgil. This new body language was a complete change from how he usually acts.

Virgil paused, reluctantly rubbing the back of his neck. “U-Uh, oh, ok-okay. I’m.. I’m sorry. You.. You clearly werent..” All words just seemed to die in his mouth.

Logan sighed as he stood back up. "Whatever, just, try not to knock any instruments over, okay?" Logan mumbled as he began walking past Virgil out the door. Okay, so he didn't mumble, but compared to how clearly he normally speaks he might as well have been.

"Thank you, L-Logan." He stammered. He didnt move, just awkwardly standing there. "O-Oh, uh, of course.. Uh, can I sit with you at lunch?" He managed through jumbled stammering.

Logan glanced back at Virgil as he walked out, trying to understand the logic of wanting to be around somebody who just yelled at you for something that wasn't intentional. Logan was hoping it wasn't anything like Logan being nice, because if Logan was the nicest person Virgil knew, well that's just sad. "Sure, whatever." Logan shrugged. He didn't actually know if he was actually going to stay until lunch, since he had been planning on leaving for the rest of the day. He shrugged at himself as he left the band room. Logan supposed he'd find out by lunch.

Virgil just followed after him, quietly. Hey, Logans the nicest guy here at this hell hole of a school, Well, the nicest guy he has met. He looks around, feeling awkward. Oh god. Why is he bothering Logan. He doesnt want you here. Just leave. "Uh-"

Logan attempted to continue walking as normal, despite the ever present awareness of Virgil following him. After all, by the looks of this kid, he's definitely harmless. Although after a while it became hard to ignore the little lost puppy of Virgil. "What are you following me for?" Logan asked over his shoulder. "Don't you have a class or something?" Honestly, how is anyone supposed to let out some steam when someone is following them everywhere?

Virgil flinched. "uh.. yeah.. sure.." He mumbled, and he quickly left. He didnt know why he cared so much. Oh wait, yes he did. Because he wanted Logan's friend. Why? Because he found Logan cool.

Logan sighed once Virgil left. He didn't really know why. Was he disappointed? Logan actually thought he might be. That was probably the longest anyone had ever voluntarily been around him, after all. Either way, Logan still had no idea what to do at this point, especially considering that if he left before school ended he'd definitely have to deal with the consequences soon enough.

Virgil headed off into the bathroom. He just needed somewhere to stay calm, and clear his head. Everything just made him feel horrible. He quietly locked himself into a stall, keeping himself quiet.

Logan leaned against a wall in the hallway, getting out his phone as he debated his options. If he left school now, Virgil wouldn't have to worry about his mistake of wanting to be around him during lunch, but his mom would be pissed if she found out he didn't even stay half of the day. But if he stayed and went to class, he'd half a lot of pent up anger with him during class, and his home had probably already been called due to him not having made it to this class period, so he'd still probably hear about it anyway.

Virgil calmed himself down, and went back outside. He looked around, wondering if Logan was still around. He.. He hoped so. He is not going to that hell hole alone.

Logan sighed as he put his phone away, finally heading to class. He was pretty sure that it was the world's most stupid desicion for Virgil to want to be anywhere near him, but as a new kid who clearly had no idea how to survive in this school, he probably wouldn't be very safe if he was alone during lunch.

Virgil quietly sighed, deciding to go to class. He hid his eyes with his hair. He slunk into the back of the class, trying to keep away from everyone.

Logan managed to keep himself from throwing hands for the rest of his morning class, heading down to the lunchroom afterwards. He stood against a wall and watched people enter without personally eating.

Once that hellish excuse for a class was done, Virgil quietly found Logan and walked up to him. “Uh, hi.”

Logan looked over at Virgil, honestly kind of surprised that he committed to his decision to spend the lunch period with Logan. "Hey," he said briefly, looking back across the room.

He gave him a pathetic grin, trying to not be awkward, but the boy radiates awkward. “Uh, uhm, er, hi.” He began to play with his hands, biting his lip.

"You don't talk to people much, do you?" Logam didn't look back at Virgil as he spoke. Was he hoping Virgil would decide Logan actually was unpleasant to be around and leave? Yeah, Logan thought he was.

“N-Not really.” He mumbled, not moving, copying Logans pose. He wasnt exactly enjoying the people staring at him, but hes happy having a friend.

Logan's surprise grew as Virgil started copying him. He didn't know why, but that was really unexpected. "Aren't you going to eat or something?" Logan was determined to not let his surprise, or really any other emotion, show.

Virgil shook his head, deciding a verbal response wasnt worth it. Plus, the food looked like slop. He fidgetted with his hands, trying to spark a conversation.

Logan glanced over at Virgil, trying to figure out what to do in this situation. God, this kid is making me more awkward just by being around me. It's a wonder he's survived this long.

Virgil thought about his family. His family sucked. It would be nice to know what raised that hardcore lad. “Uh... Whats your family like？” He said softly. God fUcking damn it, Virgil. You cant ask about anything N O RM A L-

The change in Logan's posture was immediate. His back straightened, his shoulders became more squared, his hands tightened into fists. "Why do you care?" Logan's voice was cold and hard as knives.

Virgil shrunk back, his eyes wide. “I-I dont know？I’m just trying to make conversations..” He trailed off, going silent. Wait. Why was Logan caring so much. “Oh god, are you an orp-”

Logan scoffed at that second comment, giving Virgil the slightest shake of his head and somehow managing to make those small actions violent and angry. I wish I was that lucky.

Virgil flinched. He felt his heart race at those angry movements. “Uh, er.. sorry.” Virgil practically sped off, he feels sick.

Logan turned and watched him go. If he were in any other mood, he'd probably feel bad for scaring Virgil like that. But right now he didn't even care, he simply turned back to glare at the rest of the people in the room.

The whispers of the room continued, questioning Logan and why he doesnt like his family

Logan didn't say anything to anyone, although when he heard someone talking about him he'd shoot a glare at them to get them to shut up.

The cafeteria was awkward and quiet. Nobody wanted to talk to Logan, or get beaten up.

Eventually Logan got tired of the stares and went back to the gym. He would've went to the band room, but there was a class there at the time, so he had to go with the next best thing.

Virgil was sitting behind the bleachers, desperately trying to calm himself. Logan hates him. Everyone hates him. He hates this hell-hole of a school.

Logan didn't notice Virgil as he came in, walking over to a padded part of the wall so he could punch it and not hurt himself again. He punched the wall, then drew his hand back and punched again, and again, and again. He hated his mother. He hated every single boyfriend she had ever had. He hated this school. He hated that he was always alone. He hated that this one time somebody actually wanted to be around him, he was determined to scare them off. He hated everything right now.

The punches just terrified Virgil even more. Oh great. Now a murderer was after him. He let out a strangled gasp, as his world began to spin round, making Virgil shake.

Logan paused when he heard the gasp behind him. He turned and finally noticed Virgil behind him, and of course it was only after he started panicking. Logan stood there, trying to figure out if he should go try to help, considering he was probably the thing causing Virgil to panic and being closer might just make it worse.

He couldnt breathe. The gasps became more frequent. Fuck. Hes gonna die here. Hes gonna die alone. Jesus this is getting sad.

Soon enough, Logan decided on walking over, kneeling down in front of Virgil. It wasn't like he was getting any better without Logan interacting. "Hey, Virgil?" Logan started in the most even voice he could produce. "I'm gonna need you to calm down, can you do that? Just focus on breathing." Fuck, is this what you're supposed to do? Logan honestly didn't have a clue, but from what he did know about panic attacks this seemed like an appropriate response.

Virgil trembles, before his blood stopped. Logan. “I-I’m sorry！I’m sorry！I-I-I-I...” He hears that Logans hear to help. “I-I cant- I-I’m a failure！”

Upon hearing Virgil's words, Logan's hands curled into fists. He was immediately ready to fight on behalf of someone he didn't even know. Then Logan reminded himself that right now, fighting was not in fact going to help. He took a deep breath, forcing his hands to relax again before continuing to talk to Virgil. "No, you're not a failure, there's no need to be sorry." Logan slowly reached out and took one of Virgil's hands in his own, checking for his reaction.

Virgil jolted, scramming away, apologizing. “I said- I said sorry！P-Please.. Leave me alone.” He sobbed. “I-I-I-” He felt his throat constrict.

Logan quickly pulled his hands away from Virgil, feeling guilt like a stab in his gut. This was all because of him, wasn't it? Maybe he should just leave, Virgil did tell Logan to leave him alone, didn't he? And Logan was pretty sure he just made it worse because he had no idea how to help, so Virgil would probably be better off if Logan left him alone.

Virgil whimpers, god hes so pathetic. Such a useless person. “Pathetic.. Useless..” He mumbled softly, looking away from Logan. The attack was beginning to die down, but he wouldnt be calm for a while.

Logan opened his mouth, about to correct Virgil on what he was saying about himself, but then he hesitated, and soon closed his mouth again. Logan looked down at the floor as he slowly stood back up and left, his endgoal being the doors leading out of the school. Logan officially decided he was done with being around people for a good while. Logan easily ignored the stares of the people in the halls. Most people took one look at Logan's overall demeanor and knew not to stare, so Logan was able to get out the school doors without even being interuppted.

Virgil made sure to keep close to Logan. He felt so guilty, he can’t believe he was so stupid. He had to have Logan come help him from a panic attack！All he is, is a panicky, clingy, failure.

Logan sighed and turned around as he got outside the door, facing Virgil. "Don't you have something better to do? Like class or something?" Logan was trying not to snap, especially since Virgil had just gotten out of a panic attack, but his voice was still harsh. Logan just wanted an escape from people, and now this little lost puppy of a person was becoming the first and only obstacle to that.

He kept his mouth shut. He felt so awkward. Like he owed Logan and apology. For seeing that. For seeing how much of a mess he was.. Yeah, he left soon after Logan spoke.

Logan walked away from the school after that, although he didn't really know where he was going. All he really knew at the time was that he wanted to escape from people, despite the fact that he didn't know where he could go that didn't have people. Logan ended up going over to the park, deciding that the park would have the least amount of people. After a while Logan had calmed down enough to tolerate human connection again, and walked down to the local café, because despite its black color, the fabric of Logan's jacket did little to protect him from the cold. He almost smiled as he walked through the door of the café, looking at the pride flag sticker on the window. Logan sat down in a booth, although since he was a regular the staff weren't expecting him to order anything.

Virgil was nervous. He had gotten lost on his way home, and was walking down to a cafe. He was hungry, after all. He looked at his phone, cringing at its dead battery. But he managed to smile. Today started off great, at least. Logan was.. his friend？Well, he seemed to begin to tolerate Virgil. And hes fine with that. He ordered a cup with a long list of ingredients. His own list of “Fuck me up” ingredients.

Logan didn't notice Virgil walking in. He had started dozing off in his seat when a waiter walked over, giving him a plate of eggs and toast. "It's on the house. You look like you could use it," they said with a smile as they left the table. They were right about that; Logan hadn't eaten all day. Logan glanced back over, guilt weighing down his shoulders as he began eating. He glanced over at his phone as he ate. The only reason it wasn't dead was because he was at the table with the outlet. That was basically His Table and both the visitors and staff knew this. Once Logan finished eating, he put his head atop his hand and began dozing off again. The poor kid hadn't slept well in ages.

The waitress did NOT look happy that Virgil had such a long list, but, he paid and ordered it, so she had to. When he asked for an outlet seat, he was pointed into Satan- I mean, Logans direction. “Oh, hi Logan.” Virgil said softly, holding his head phone.

Logan was partially asleep at the time, although he had trained himself to not fall asleep entirely, so when he heard his name he was immediately awake and alert. He put his arm down on the table as he looked at Virgil. "Hey," he said shortly, realizing that this was the kid from school, which meant school was over. Logan hadn't really been paying attention.

“Uh, Uhmm...” He felt really awakward.. Was there any other outlet booths？Logan looked like he would murder Virgil if he sat there.

Logan raised an eyebrow at Virgil, drumming his fingers against the table. Honestly, if there was anywhere that he was least likely to murder someone, it was that café. It was quite honestly the most comfortable place he had ever been in, and he wasn't about to throw that away by getting into a fight.

Virgil looked away. They say, if you look Logan in the eye, you’ll turn into stone. “Sorry. I’ll just take the bus.” Yes. The bus. That he has no.clue about. Tbh, If I were Virgil？I’d rather walk.

Logan stared at Virgil. What the hell was he talking about? "We don't have a bus." Did Virgil just move here? Also why was he talking about a bus inside a café? What the hell was his train of thought?

Transfer student. Yes, he did just move here. Thats.. Thats kinda why he wasnt as fearful of Logan. ”Oh.” He said simply. “Fu-”

Logan sighed in confusion as he looked away from Virgil, bringing up his hand again to set his head on and closing his eyes. He didn't have any sort of obligation to interact with Virgil, so if he wasn't going to actually say anything then Logan was going to try to stock up on light sleep.

“ck.” He sighed. He awkwardly shuffled into the booth, just wanting to charge his phone, man.

Logan opened his eyes again, having expected Virgil to just stand awkwardly or leave. He glanced at the coffee Virgil had as he sat down, reading the ingredient label. "That's incredibly unhealthy for you." Logan didn't know why he was starting conversation when he could be sleeping, but he was aware of how much Virgil's coffee could fuck someone up.

“Eh. Nobody really cares.” He took a sip, waiting for his phone to do him a favour and charge. One percent, and the most aggressive spam of messages blasts through his phone. “Oh. I’m popular today.” He muttered. Of course, his parents had guests today. They had to pretend they cared.

Logan watched the phone screen as the messages showed up on the screen. Honestly he was pretty surprised by the spam, he barely ever got any messages, and he definitely didn't remember the last time his mom texted him. She generally saved her barrage of harassment for when they were face-to-face. He genuinely didn't think whatever the messages were about could be good.

They werent. They were degrading messages about his intelligence. “Ah！My mom.. uh, says that.. I gotta go.. God, shes so kind.” He made a convincing act. “See you, Punk.” He gave him a pathethically weak smile. He had no way home. Sadness hours.

Logan didn't believe the act for a second. Everything he read on that screen were things he could practically hear his mother saying to him, and "kind" wasn't even the last word he'd use to describe her. Nonetheless, he understood the need to get home. Logan sighed at the smile. Honestly it was kind of sad. "You don't know where you're going, do you?" Logan asked, deadpan. Seeing how lost Virgil was in school, the entire town probably seemed like an actual maze to him.

Virgil flinched at the deadpan tone. “Ah, well, uhrm, yeah..” He muttered, allowing his bangs to cover his eyes. “I’ll find my way home, I dont need a gang member to escort me.” He muttered, a bit of a bitter tone in his voice. He doesnt know why he said that. Maybe to drive Logan away？But he adored Logan！Logan was so cool.. God damn, you stalker, stop thinking about him！ “...sorry.” He muttered, getting up.

Logan sighed and looked away. Gang member. Is that really how people saw him? He only meant to scare off jerks and bigots, and he honestly wanted to be supportive of basically anyone who got picked on or bullied. Apparently those people couldn't trust him either. He knew he couldn't be surprised though, nobody in their right mind would trust somebody who got so angry they had to punch a wall to feel just a little better. "Whatever," Logan muttered. "I just hope you know that everyone's gonna assume you're queer now." Logan jabbed a finger towards the pride flag sticker he had looked at on the way in.

The look of sheer terror as he saw the said flag was hilarious. He had tried his best to act like a straight guy. “I’m straight.” He mumbled. “Uhm, are you gay, Logan？”

Logan almost laughed at what was to him an obvious lie. Almost. "I think I'm as straight as you are." Straight as a rainbow, that is.

Virgil looked afraid. But then again, when hes with Logan... Wait. Beforehand, Virgil wasnt scared or worried. Aww！You turned someone who, rather blindly, trusted you, against you！But isnt that what you do best, Logan？

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #roleplay #logan sanders #virgil sanders #punk logan #pastel virgil #tw fighting #tw swearing #tw violence #tw verbal abuse #tw emotional abuse #verbal abuse #emotional abuse #tw homophobia #TW panic attack

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mingisanshine · 4 years

Text

Ateez As Boyfriend: Park Seonghwa Edition (M)

(that earring, his smile, the non whitewash- I think I’m seeing the face of God.)

ooooo buddy, Seonghwa was my first bias so I hope you guys are ready for this because this man is still coming for my neck

When you two first “met” you’d literally be terrified of him.

I mean have you looked at him??

He’s very intimidating

But after a while you’d notice how much of softie he is

Like how he get embarrassed really easily

Or how he hates acting cute because it doesn’t fit his “persona”

But he genuinely is a really sweet person

He’d probably tell you straight on that he liked you.

Planned it out

Had the most impeccable timing

And wham, you two are thing

I think he would accidentally put to much effort into dates

“Y/N do you not like it?”

“No it’s fine Hwa. It’s just did you have to take me to such a fancy restaurant?”

He probably blush and feel a little bad

“I just want our dates to be special.”

Then it would be your turn to blush

Overall there’s a whole bunch of uwuing (god i hate that word.)

Eventually all the awkwardness would end up disappearing

And you two would actually would have more chill dates

Though they still be slightly high class because we all Seonghwa is BOUGIE

No, but seriously he wouldn’t have the urge to impress you after a while

Things would kind of be calm

Pet names would be like second nature

“Hey babe can you grab me the cereal.”

“Baby are you okay?”

He’d most definitely grab your hand

Even hug you in public

Not big into PDA

Even when having sex

He’s definitely the dominant one

Not gentle, but definitely really tender and loving

Unless he’s jealous

Whichhh lead to some wild discoveries

You both where having a movie night with the rest of the boys

Seonghwa was upset because he really didn’t want to have to leave the comfort of your house

But you made him go anyways

So he was little sour to say the least

And since he was being kinda sour you decided that you needed to find someone to talk to

And that’s how you and Yunho ended up talking throughout the entire movie

Annoying literally everyone in the room

“Do you think you two could shut up.” Hwa grumble, not even looking over at you two

You apologize and Yunho laughed before turning back to you and continuing the conversation

You didn’t even notice that Seonghwa was glaring at you two the entire time

You practically choke on your popcorn when Yunho made a joke about the main actor in the film

And when you started to feel yourself relax and lean into Yunho you heard a loud yell from San

“Seonghwa why’d you drop the popcorn?”

“Y/N. We gotta go. Now.”

“Seonghwa I’m-”

“Now.” He practically growled and you find yourself running off the couch as fast as you can.

The entire drive home was silent and you were literally shaking the entire time

When Seonghwa parked the car and let his head fall against the seat

He looked over at you and you felt a shiver go down your spine

“You have twenty seconds to get upstairs.”

You almost sprained your ankle getting out of the car and running through the door

By the time Seonghwa was in the room you already felt the the pit in your stomach grow

He slammed the door shut and you jump a little

Capturing lips in an almost animalistic way and pinning you to the wall

Kissing trails down your body before reaching the hem of you pants and practically ripping your underwear off.

Lips kissing softly around the desired area before giving you one broad lick, making your knees buckle

“Shit Seonghwa-”

You swear you almost see stars when his long tounge circles around your clit and takes it between his lips

Your climax almost there. Toes curling in your shoes

“Fuck- Seonghwa! I’m gonna-oh fuck! fuckfuckfuckfuck-”

Your eyes are watery and you feel that coil almost snap

Before he pulls away.

Leaving your climax ruined

“You didn’t think I was going to let you cum after acting like a brat all night where you?” He laughed

He stood up giving you a kiss pulling away before you could enjoy it

“We’ve got a long night ahead of us babygirl.”

Um, you learned not upset Seonghwa after that

Okay maybe not.

You still do stuff to piss him all the time just to get a reaction out of him

But, you learned something about Seonghwa that night

Most def has daddy kink (and a choking kink.)

You called him that once and the next day you couldn’t walk

Soo uh yeah

Seonghwa still treats you like princess regardless of the situation

Is kinda protective

“Y/N, are you stupid?!” Wooyoung yells at you and you blush

“Like really. How the hell do manage to do something that dumb?”

“Wooyoung, you broke your toe trying to carry 20 soup cans for a dumb youtube challenge. You really don’t have any room to be talking.” Seonghwa wraps his arms your from behind, laying a soft kiss to your cheek

“Uh-well.”

“Exactly. You okay Y/N?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Still teases you

“It was still kind of dumb of you to that.”

Overall Seonghwa is a great boyfriend

He’s kinda of like a savior figure who does the laundry and cleans the house way to much

But, you really enjoy having him around and vice versa

The group gets tired of you two acting like parents, but they love at the same tome because neither one of you take shit form each other, but it’s in a cute way

You two kinda balance each other out whilst shining the similarities

He’s kind of the ideal partner

Why would someone only make one Seonghwa

It’s unfair

I need one

The Boyfriend List

#ateez boyfriend #park seonghwa #seonghwa #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #seonghwa smut #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez smut #kpop #can you guys tell that im still whipped for seonghwa??#i mean who isnt?#ateez

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leviticus101st · 4 years

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Parody Critique: Artemis Fowl

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13667353/1/Parody-Critique-Artemis-Fowl

So. This movie. I’m sure you all are wondering where I stand on THIS franchise.

I didn’t know it existed until this movie. That either makes me the best person to review this movie or the worst.

While I’ve never read the books, I did look up some stuff and some of the fan complaints. I want to look at this as a movie on it’s own.

Something telling thought is that I need to watch nothing but this movie to tell you how utterly crap it is.

The story is bad. It’s this weird hostage movie thing. It wasn’t good.

Let’s nip some things in the bud. The acting is terrible. Most of them talk in this weird way. It’s just not how humans talk.

The guy who plays that big mouthed troll thing actually breaks character in a scene. You can hear the voice shift and everything. How does a DISNEY movie do that?

The worst of it is probably from Artemis himself. He switches back and forth from who he’s based on in the books and just being a typical child genius

That’s another problem with this movie. It’s obvious that there were tons of changes from what it was originally gonna be. From these weird cuts where you can’t see the actors faces to the plot just being all over the place.

The pacing of this movie is absolutely terrible. This movie is slow as hell. It is an hour and fifty-five minute long. Do you want to guess when the plot actually gets started? Guess.

The forty minute mark. I am dead serious.

I wouldn’t be so against it if that time was spent well, but a majority of those forty minutes are spent on the troll guy narrating who the characters are or what their personalities were like.

The rule is ‘show, don’t tell’ not ‘show and tell.’ It’s just baffling.

Oh yeah, the troll dude is pointless. Like completely pointless. With a little re-writing, you could have cut him out of the movie entirely.

All he does is pick the lock that leads to the mcguffin. That is it. That is literally all he does.

There’s also that very disturbing scene when he goes full worm. It’s just disturbing.

If that was in the books, why choose to adapt that? Apparently most of the movie pretends that the books don’t exist, so either somebody had a very specific fetish or they wanted to adapt the wrong things.

Speaking of the books, let’s talk about something that legitimately angerss me.

As I said, I know nearly nothing about the books. All I know is from a second hand source, so I could be wrong here.

The movie whitewashes a majority of its cast. In the books, the fairies were all POCs. They whitewashed a majority of the cast.

BUT THAT’S OKAY! THEY MADE A CHARACTER IN THE BOOKS THAT WAS A MAN INTO A WOMAN, SO THEY RAKE IN THOSE WOKE POINTS!

Now I normally don’t care if they change the gender of a pre-existing character, but one of the main characters has an arc that revolves around her wanting to be taken seriously because she is the only woman in the fairy force.

But that’s okay, because this film is progressive. Oh, I don’t mean like ATLA, LoK, She-Ra, or the like that are actually progressive.

I mean stuff like Birds of Prey and the fabulous emancipations of one Harley Quinn or Ghostbusters 2016 that say they're progressive to make money off people. Even though they really aren’t progressive.

But in terms of the black characters. They may have white washed most of the characters, but they have three black characters and they are all servants to white people. Because this film is progressive like that.

Let me simplify this. They got rid of a female character’s plot, whitewashed most of the cast, and they made the only black people in the movie lower in rank to white people. Oh yeah, this movie is really progressive. If the word progressive meant the exact opposite of what it actually does.

But enough about that.

Let’s talk about something I found distracting. The time machine thing. When the fairy force invades Artemis’ house, their time stop thing gets damaged. The characters keep going on and on about how they need to wrap the plot up before it explodes.

There’s some questions that plagued my mind. Why didn’t the fairy force just leave and come back with a different time thing after the damaged one blew up? Why didn’t they just call someone in to repair the thing? How the hell does a single shot damage it that badly?

How the flying hell does the mind thing work? They establish that the reason Artemis and his group could resist it is because they ‘cleared their minds.’ But how in God’s name does that work? Does the machine affect how they perceive time or something?

I know I’m harping on this point, but it’s a major plot point and it's just bizarre.

I hate talking about plot holes in these reviews, because most if not all fiction has them, but this is just a mind screw. (I only F-bomb if the work legitimately angers me beyond belief which is rare.) The whole reason that the plot is happening at all is because Artemis’ dad is kidnapped by...yeah I have no idea who the cloaked person is. Apparently, in the books it was the fairy mafia. Which is a glorious image to me.

The main villain of the movie is a character that we never actually get to know anything about.

That’s grade-A writing right there.

Also, they speak with this filter and I was expecting them to say ‘I’ll get you next time Gadget!’

I’m not joking. They feel like an old school cartoon villain.

This next thing is a super small point, but how in the hell does the troll allergy thing work? Early on in the movie, the fairy force captures a giant troll and they bring it back for the climax. The asshole commander guy says they gave it allergies to make it stronger.

I have no idea how that works. Maybe it’s something in the books, but it’s just silly. I don’t think you get super strength when you sniff a flower you’re allergic to.

Now the guy could have just meant that the troll would be out of control because of it, but the swollen eyes and the sneezing would probably make it a little less dangerous.

But that’s just nitpicking.

Let’s talk about something that’s legitimately a problem. The main female character, Holly, has this non-existent arc about her dad who was framed for a crime. It goes nowhere and is completely pointless.

And I’ll remind you, they got rid of her actual arc in the books that would have been fine for a movie for one that’s completely pointless.

One of the three black characters in a mostly whitewashed cast is a little girl who also does nothing. She doesn’t even get a ‘her one skill was needed for this’ moment.

She was pointless.

The butler confuses me. His name is Butler, his job is that of a butler, but he’ll kill you for calling him Butler. What? Was the narrator high or something?

The fairy world is something I also hate. It’s the Batman V Superman logic of making it as dark as you possibly can. You can barely see anything in the scenes there. Even the fairy force command center is very dark.

It’s just not pleasant to look at and makes me want to turn away.

Artemis Fowl himself has a not really character arc. He starts the movie only caring about his dad, but he cares about other people at the end. It comes out of nowhere.

Again, evidence that this movie was heavily changed.

Overall, this movie sucks. It’s just not good. I wouldn’t even say just put it on for the kids, because it’s just boring.

Hope you guys enjoyed this.

#artemis fowl #ltj056 #plug #review #Seriously though #this movie sucks

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alyseofwonderland · 4 years

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Alyse Reads The Goldfinch, Part 2

What follows is my best attempt at liveblogging. I had the books as an audiobook in hopes that I could keep it from taking even more of my life from me. This was perhaps a mistake. I think I broke Siri trying to make notes. The notes that are rambly are the ones I dictated.

I entirely blame @rollono for my suffering. But I am also aware that it seems to give her joy.

Every time I reference Tara, I am talking about @wellntruly who’s own live blog of the book was the only roadmap I had to follow in this waterlogged wasteland of a novel.

Part 1

I thought Tara was making up the Camel-hair coat bit but APPARENTLY NOT.

Architecture has that much to do with the city and or northern Europe, really? I mean, “whitewash” doesn't everybody do that?

Nina ( @proud-librarian ) is going to have a lot to say about their descriptions of the Netherlands and Amsterdam in this book. like oh my God!

Theo Deckard doesn't understand how thermostats work.

This isn't satire? I don't understand we're like three minutes in and it has to be satire. right. right?

Who the hell says my mother and I didn't like my father much? like what.... what is this? what am I reading? what is happening? what.... I don't understand.... okay maybe fine whatever

This feels like it should be... I don't know.... satire is the word I'm looking for again. I don't want to just repeat what Tara, said but Jesus. the start of the story is he is rich enough to have a Doorman but not rich enough to afford the fancy private school, and him and his friends break into vacation homes in the Hamptons. what is this? what is this? I just... just.... just write a Jane Austen or Lord Byron novel if that's what you want to do just do that. do that.

My audiobook app just turned itself off in the middle of a passage because it decided I didn't need to listen to Theo talk about whatever he was talking about.

Curse you, Donna Tartt, for also being in the "all things coconut smell like suntan lotion" club. I did not want to have this in common with you.

I am laughing so hard it turns silent into my steering wheel because the audiobook reader makes Tom Cable sound like a surfer dude from the 70s, and I. cannot. handle. that.

"I like to think of myself as a perceptive person" is basically the way that I know that Theo has about Harry Potter level skills of observation when it comes to the people around him.

Y'all this book would be so much better if Theo actually thought like a 13-year-old that he is supposed to be in the intro part. That would just be peak comedy, which is really what I'm looking for.

Audrey Decker and the Laura Moon from American gods are now the two people that I have ever known to call men "puppy" which I still find alarming, in both cases. Surprisingly they also both die, so I guess more things they have in common.

The longer this book goes on the more clear it is that I am not bougie enough for its contents. ( timestamp 30 minutes)

(GIF BY @rollono BY MY REQUEST FOR EVERY TIME THIS BOOK MAKES ME FEEL POOR)

I just can't suspend my disbelief enough to think that a 13-year-old would know this much about their parent's job and be able to ask questions. I'm trying to think of what my dad was doing when I was 13, and I mean I know where he worked, and I know who his boss was, but if you tried to ask me daily issues or me giving advice... oh my gosh. I just can't. nobody talks like this.

I’m making a face akin to Kermit the frog.

I threw up in my mouth a little at the description of Pippa walking past in the museum.

Did we just describe a 12-year-old girl's arms as marble? is that what just happened? did I just have to listen to that?

Theo has given me a lot of like “Golden State killer” vibes right now with his desire to poke around through all these people's homes and stuff. like this is clearly the Visalia ransacker's motivation in the 70s. I know too much about true crime, that's what's happening right now.

The true-crime serial killer alarms keep going off in my brain.

I know Tara already mentioned how ridiculous the Murphys bed story is but it really is incredibly ridiculous and breaks the tension of the entire scene that is occurring at the time (laughed uncontrollably to the point that Siri typed nonsense)

I get it, Donna, you know things. You do not have list every fire truck to prove it.

Let's take a child to a dinner at 3 am. Really Donna?

Why does Donna insist on giving me the text of signs around whats going on? Why did I just listen to the smoothie specials while an emotional scene is occurring?

Donna, did you just call Mrs. Barough a weasel? [afronted gasp]

OI! (me shouting when Donna says that Andy was weird for being lactose intolerant.)

Pukes in my mouth a little at the term 'high verbal'. I get it, Donna, you think you are smarter than all of us stop being a dick.

Donna Tartt would make it to r/iamverysmart in like a minute if she understood how the internet worked.

WHO TAUGHT HER ABOUT FMA?

Okay, so either Donna Tartt knows someone who lost a parent and basing this off them or like went through it herself because I am white-knuckling through the grief bits trying not to have my own trauma response to the situation. Or she wrote Theo with like the exact grief I had. Her incessant need to list things in a room is the only thing between me and a spiral of remembering my dad's death.

ANDY IS A RAY OF LIGHT AND DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE IN THIS FAMILY OR IN THIS BOOK!

Five whole hours before the first sight of Hobie. Like Jesus.

I miss Terry Pratchett.

Hobie thank you for making this book interesting again.

Hobie is now my main squeeze and I won't hear a word against him.

POE DIDN'T INVENT SCIENCE FICTION FUCKING MARY SHELLY DID. DONNA WHAT THE FUCK.

The Hobie part of the story just makes me more sure that a version of the movie should have been without the Baroughers (sp?) and only included Hobie and Pippa.

Any is a murderino. I love this baby boy.

Aw, I love Hobie so so much.

Donna if you call Andy annoying one more time you are gonna catch my hands. (She just referred to his voice as annoying twice in a conversation and I swear to god I will rip this character out of her snobbish clutches she doesn't deserve him.)

Theo on this we agree, I too enjoy Hobie.

Hobie is the only person who belongs in this novel and he's a god damn delight.

SEVEN HOURS AND THE PAINTING HAS COME UP AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LITERAL HOURS.

Theo straight up using Spanish to fuck over his father is just *chef's kiss.

I can see how much contempt Donna has for Xandra is longer and deeper than this book will ever be.

I am going to suplex Larry Decker I swear to god. (i have a very particular trigger to spouses bad-mouthing the dead one due to personal experience.)

Necco wafers are no one's favorite candy Donna. You can't just say shit like that and expect anyone to believe you.

I have just realized that Donna Tartt has never been to a public library. How do I know? Witchcraft books are never on the shelves. Ask any librarian. They are stolen pretty much the moment we buy them.

I am standing dead in the tea aisle at the store because Theo just thought it would be “gay” to tell the doormen he has known almost his whole life he is gonna miss them. (hours later I realize this is her backtracking in edits going "shit shit shit I have to add the repression in somewhere for those dumb readers that don't understand art" and I hate it more.)

Mrs. B is ready to physically fight Larry and I would pay real money to see it.

WHY DOES DONNA KNOW ABOUT DRAGON BALL Z?!? Step away from the things I love Donna I don't trust you near my media. (Also why she does reference it she clearly has NO concept of what DBZ hair would even look like to expect me to believe any child could achieve it.)

oh my god, Boris. I'm so happy to see you.

I am happy to report the audiobook narrator does not do an Australian accent for Boris. Thank the lord.

I knew I was going to love Boris but like a few minutes in I adore him.

It's interesting to me that Theo and Boris seem to have received similar amounts of attention/affection from non-parent adults, but while Theo finds it uncomfortable Boris soaks it in.

The Australian part of Boris's accent seems impossible.

*sobbing audibly into my keyboard* Popchyck

Boris you sweet like socialist.

Comrade Boris we need you in this election.

I'm sad he (Boris) doesn't get to go to college and like piss off every yuppie and hippie, and just make Philosophy 100 and Government 250 absolute hell for everyone.

Drunk Boris at Thanksgiving is a gift.

Me listening to this book before Boris: half paying attention, fucking around on my computer, doing chores. Me after Boris shows up: staring at the middle distance determined to listen to every fucking word because this prison sentence of a novel is finally interesting.

James: you said the author is a snob and you aren't enjoying the main character. Me: yeah James: then stop reading it. Me: No, then Donna and her Anna Wintour knock off hair cut will win. James, frowning and backing out of the room: k sweetie.

6:30 am is too early to hear Theo Decker describe his bed as "our bed"

I WAS RIGHT. Boris belongs in college making every American white kid absolutely furious in every Poli-sci.

Larry Decker calling Theo and Boris his "kids" made my heart skip a beat.

So the nurse notices they don't have vitamins and smell but doesn't call child services. I mean I know that I learned that school nurses are less likely to call CFS on white kids than they are on black kids but like god damn.

The sheer salt of Theo refusing to learn the name of Boris’s girlfriend is so hilarious.

Now *this* is gay.

The truth is Theo is ready to cut a bitch.

Fellas is it gay to do shots while your boyfriend talks about his girlfriend?

Theo trying to set up Boris with like a nice polite girl who won't fuck him is fucking hilarious. This poor baby gay.

Theo (and Donna cuz she writes him) have never heard of learning disabilities and I will legit throw down.

LARRY IS A SCORPIO IN CANON?! I thought that was something from the fan fics. omg Ally hates this.

No one wears white sport coats Donna stop trying to make it happen.

Boris totally knows what's going on with Larry and he's just trying to look out for Theo because he loves Theo but oh my gosh Boris why do you make me feel so many feelings!

Please, Donna, I am begging you to stop telling me what the light from the sun looks like at different times of the day. I just can't take it anymore. Every scene of Theo in Xandra's house does not need the qualifier of what type of sunlight he is seeing. Some times fine. But every time?

My entire stomach just dropped when I realized what Boris has done, and I'm just I'm so sad. this is not how I wanna start my commute to work today.

I have just had my first moments of being very proud of Donna's writing, because long long time ago, in the same chapter, she had the bit about how Xandra will say "apparently" when she's being bitchy with Theo and now in a conversation where Theo isn't paying attention to her she says "apparently" to Larry and I just had to stop and say this, this is the writing I'm looking for Donna. This is clever and interesting and I LIKED IT. Stop making lists and do more of this.

Friendship ended with Book Boris, Movie Boris is my best friend now.

I don't understand how the director and the screenwriter of the film could move who said those lines and then not make it gay. Like, commit to your choice.

My mom: You finish that book yet? Me, angrily: No. My mom slightly worried: do you like it? Me: unclear.

NEW CHAPTER!

Theo, I need you calm all the way down when you are looking at Pippa.

Love this lawyer. I want to be his friend.

God poor Pippa. All the shit she goes through and she still has to put up with Theo's weird obsession.

Theo, you slid right back into the serial killer habits in a second and I want you to stop it.

Oh god, I feel that in my soul. Like "no sir you have it wrong I look more like the parent I like best." (also I do look more like my dad. like way more like him)

I am begging someone to get Theo some kind of hobby or help or something so he stops acting like a victorian ghost.

I am gonna have to get the actual book so I can see what weird spelling is going on with the text messages. I just know its weird. The narrator does it in such a weird voice.

We spent so much time dealing with emotional issues and other whatnot that going back to the bit about the painting feels like a huge tonal shift in the book. I'm like staggering around confused.

Literally no one uses strawberry shampoo.

Love that Theo ‘s final plan is the one Andy purposed an eon ago.

Salty that Theo is getting the cool college experience that Boris would have crushed. I would have paid good money to watch him make the philosophy department cry.

[kermit in the car gif]

Yo! Theo struggling to deal with school is like exactly my semester after my dad died.

The adults attempting to force him into different living arrangements is so what we dealt with post my dad’s death.

Grisha! (Russians the only people I trust atm)

Tara was right, Andy's death comes off like a joke!

I gotta say, Crime Theo is my favorite Theo so far.

I don't know which serial killer Donna was channeling to write the parts about Theo being obsessed with Pippa, but it is just so intensely a serial killer vibe I cannot even begin to describe the look on my face; the feelings I'm having. I'm just like this man is going to kill someone. he's going to kill a lot of people. not only that it's going to be a lot of women because he doesn't view them as people. that's what I'm getting from this it's. Theo doesn't think women are people.

If Theo was on reddit he would be part of r/niceguys and r/iamverysmart.

If I have to listen to him drone on about his fantasies of Pippa for one more minute I will kill myself in the baking aisle of Aldis.

HES HOARDING HER HAIR?! HER UNWASHED CLOTHES?!? Please someone put him in jail.

[the sound of me throwing up in the frozen food section as Theo describes Kitsey]

Donna don’t try to act like you didn’t add that foreshadowing yourself about Andy. You crack me up you relentlessly snob.

How is Theo just The Worst all the time?

Theo freaking out because two gay guys know what’s up with him is just *chef’s kiss

Me having seen only the movie: Theo and Boris should get redemption and a romance run away. Me now: [ gif of “Ive had enough of this guy” from IASIP]

I mean I understand that John Crawley was a coward in so many of his directorial choices, but the fact that he didn't put the second meeting of Theo and this Lucius guy into a crowded weird restaurant where they're both getting hit by the waiters as they go past is just the weakest move you could've made. because this makes it so much funnier.

I'm with Hobie.

honestly this book should've just been 20 hours of art crime and like to shave off a good 10 hours of LISTS because that's what 10 hours is. give me 20 hours of art crime. I would love to watch each sale happen that would've been riveting to read but instead.... this.

Bish, you like those earrings or I will cut you.

Theo salty, while Kitsey picks out new china, is so fucking hilarious.

him just like "why are we buying new plates when my job is literally to find plates that were made by craftsmen?!?!” but being too fucking repressed in his bullshit to say anything, so he just making some poor sales lady suffer.

my friend Ally: “Theo’s repression makes everyone suffer is a good summary of the book.”

Alternative version of this book that would have been 8 million times better: Theo gets into art crimes but is also a serial killer. We don't know the second bit but it begins to start dawning on us as women seem to disappear from his social circles and weird hints of thoughts about blood and rivers. Bonus points if it ends with him on the run from the law with his only vaguely criminal (by comparison to serial killer Theo) boyfriend. We are left to wonder if they will be gunned down in the chase or if perhaps there will be one more body to great the river.

Theo's textbook serial killer nonsense is only comparable to the sheer petty gay energy he gives off.

The power trip he gets from being like "hahaha yes I have bagged the ice princess who wanted nothing to do with me when we were kids" is just so gross and hilarious.

Theo realizing he is not the only sociopath in the room is just *chef's kiss.

Boris, did you really send some guy to just watch your ex?

Boris, I am begging you. You have made Grisha so upset.

Donna shying away from describing Boris comes off, if you don't know who we are talking about, as weird and slightly racist.

You have the internet Theo, you can look up when movies are going to start. You are not living on the moors.

HOW IS THIS BOOK NOT A SATIRE OF AMERICAN PYSCHO FOR PEOPLE THAT HAVE BONERS FOR ANTIQUES?!?

Boris returns. I have almost forgiven him for what he put me through.

Maybe "fuck you" can be our always.

*tries not to cry when I realize that Boris' friends have heard about Theo

bless Aneurin for everything he did for this reunion in the movie.

Why is Boris such a slut? Why will I forgive him for anything?

Is it gay to think about the guy you used to jack off as handsome when you meet each other again?

Genetics means those kids can't be Boris' unless his mother was blonde. (Theo kind of agrees.)

My soul has left my body at the concept of Boris having a wife and kids.

I'm not saying I endorse crime, I'm just saying a mobster front with a pun in the name is really on-brand for me.

Knowing what I Know. That Boris thinks Theo is gonna try to kill him when they go for the "surprise" just makes the whole thing so tragic and sad.

Boris and his dog REUNITED AT LAST. I'm not crying. I'm fine.

Interesting that the next story we hear is about Gyuri's dead "brother" right after Boris says that Theo is "blood of his heart, his brother". Like. I might not be the biggest history buff in the world but I know gay code when I see it.

I mean I knew this was gonna happen, but I can't help but feel personally betrayed by Boris once again.

Donna, stay away from stuff about computers. Your attempts to use them make me, a technology expert, cringe.

Boris like "you don't deserve this dog. I deserve this dog."

"Babe I get that you are a WASP at heart but I need you to fight with me like a Russian now." - Boris to his disaster husband

"Did I lie?" "YES" (me laughing so hard I'm practically crying)

why does no one in this book appear to exchange numbers or like airdrop contact info.

Does Donna think that people only have iPhones?

Ally who is CTRL F reading this book "'Every few hundred pages she's like 'oh yeah, it's modern times...they're texting and there's emojis!' Seriously, there was the mention of emoji's and my soul escaped my body for a minute because it had no tether to time or space" @aces-low

Off the top of my head, the name that Donna is not saying for this Horace to guy is Volkswagen.

Instead of being in the mob Boris should run an animal shelter.

Boris being Bitchy and jelly when Theo is talking to the German guy is just so cute. You two deserve each other with your weird shit.

If Donna wasn't a coward this book would have had Theo just getting eyeballs deep in art crime with Boris and his associates.

Adding a sin for making me listen to whatever that just was.

Things Donna forgot to list in "girl food": chicken wings, bread, rolls, other types of bread, garlic bread, a bit more bread, maybe cookies, eight more cookies, 20 more cookies, every type of chocolate humanly imaginable, jam, and barbecue ribs.

What do ankles have to do with being attractive?!?!?! this isn't the Victorian age!

(from Ally re this comment: “I'm now convinced that every day Donna sat down to write this book she spun a wheel with different years on it, and that's the year the book was set that day”)

I didn't mind Kitsey cheating on Theo, because he doesn't even really like her. Until just now, when I realized that Mrs. B knows about it and she's keeping it from Theo, and my heart broke into 1 trillion pieces. she is the closest thing he has to a mother and he realized that she kept it from him, and I should not be crying in my car before my special Valentine night dinner.

James just walked in during a part describing Pippa and goes "Men writing women, huh?" and I had to pause the book, turn to him and say "a woman wrote this" and he just looks at me like 0_0

Mrs. B clutching Theo's hand so he won't leave her alone with Smalltalk-old-man is honestly the cutest thing in this entire book.

Hobie being able to be spotted from a distance at all times! I have a friend who is 6'5" and we can find him in crowds so easily!

Perhaps the funniest moment of this book is Theo saying "if girls loved assholes then Pippa would love me". buddy I'm going to post this entire book to r/niceguys

I WANT MORE ART CRIME! Why did you make me listen to 15 hours of boring nonsense when we could have had ART CRIME!

I deeply enjoy Boris's commitment to being a dramatic goofball, falling to his knees just be annoying.

Movie Boris appears in a dramatic way. Book Boris is just like there and also shoving food in his face and walking out of the party still eating all the food he just put in his cheeks like a chipmunk.

Hobie just like "if you want to run off with your gay love i'll cover."

Theodor Decker you get back in there and make sure that thief stays away from Nicole Kidman she has been through enough already!

Theo, I know that you don't actually have brains for anything besides drugs, crimes, being weird about women, and your own ass, but you could at least listen when people speak.

Theo is such a mess. He doesn't belong in modern times. He deserves to be Jack the Ripper.

I know the narrator is saying croissant the "correct" way. But every single time it happens I'm so fucking confused because who just leans into a french accent that hard for a single word?

Theo offers an actual good idea that Boris is going to use later and they all look at him like he's crazy.

I know "my brand" is "man holding gun" but listening to Boris assemble a gun I'm like "oh goodness I need to lay down". *fans self

Theo suddenly "I have made a huge mistake"

It's interesting to me how reluctant Boris is to make Theo a larger part of the heist. Theo reads it as frustrating but I read it like a kind of care and affection. He doesn't want his friend mixed up in something he can't handle, despite the fact that he wants Theo close so he can get him the painting back.

I see now why the heist in the movie was so fucking confusing. You need the Horst stuff and like a bunch of other nonsense that does not translate well to screen unless you re-write all the connections, which John Crowley was not willing to do.

Really love the "women drop their mark the first time" bit.

me: Theo I swear to god stop being high and sick in your room and go get some actual clothes and medication or at least don't make me listen to so much of it

this book is not 30 hours long. its 15 hours of a book and 15 hours of Donna going "gotta get that word count up or people with think I'm weak". Please, Donna. I don't need to hear this one thing happen for so long. It adds nothing to the tone, the themes, the plot, or the ambiance. You are just writing words for words sake.

The first suicide note was so well crafted that I honestly want Theo to kill himself now. If he can manage to write the others pretty okay I will be happy with this ending.

Don’t think I didn’t notice that the ghost of a dead loved one appeared on Christmas Eve.

I'm sorry who doesn't respond to "didn't you get my text?" with "my phone was dead" instantly?

me listening to Theo throw a tantrum at Boris because neither of them is capable of explaining themselves and like speaking as normal humans do: "It would have been better if Theo died"

Why must I be forced to listen to Donna make these scenes longer because these people don't talk like people?

Thud by Terry Pratchett does a much much better job of asking the question "can we trust our hearts and be the person we want to be?" And it honestly gives a better answer. And has you know, clever writing.

I thought it was like Over. I did. I was like "oh this is it wrapping up" ONLY THERE IS 30 MORE MINUTES AND I WANT TO SCREAM!

Me certain the book is over: i mean maybe this is a good ending

Me seeing i still have 30 more minutes: this is the worst book ever

This book held me fucking captive for over a week and all it left me with was like a few good lines, burning hatred for the main character, and the desire to go into Donna's home and rearrange all her stuff.

also, I now hate antiques. out of spite.

don't read The Goldfinch. it's not worth it y’all.

#jabberwockytalkies #words #donna tartt i just wanna talk #the goldfinch #alyse watches stupid movies #theodore decker #boris pavlikovsky #larry decker #xandra #donna tartt #this book beat me up and took my money and my will to put up with men

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loires · 5 years

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none of this is revised properly, so expect a lot of meandering. this is me yelling into the void.

i’m indifferent to marvel and this genre in general: i haven’t read the comics; i’ve watched many of the marvel movies, but not all of them. my favorite is black panther, and i also like guardians of the galaxy—maybe doctor strange, too (while i have a few issues with it, i ultimately enjoyed the journey and would rewatch it)...?

that said, i appreciate how you don’t necessarily have to see all of the movies to understand the gist of what's going on. sure, you’ll get more out of it if you do, but i don’t think it’s necessary. i enjoyed all of the cameos and the revisited scenes that i recognized in endgame. other things that i liked in endgame—ones that i immediately thought of...

the final battle is awesome — the music is wonderful, and i loved seeing everyone united and together; it's a great moment

time heist — because TIME TRAVEL

nebula! — i really enjoyed seeing her confront her old self; i’m guessing she opened up an alternate reality by killing her old self, and i wonder if that will be addressed in the future

gamora + nebula — UHHH, I JUST LOVE THEM

nebula + iron man — the lil football scene was cute

the ancient one — hate how she’s whitewashed; love tilda swinton; pretty much screamed when she reappeared... ;;;_____;;;

doctor strange + iron man — they play off of one another well in infinity war, and i liked seeing them here too

iron man — i don’t like what it means for pepper and their daughter, but ultimately i like the way his story ends

hulk in a cardigan + glasses

rocket + thor — their moments together in infinity war are delightful; while i think their dialogue is a bit iffy at times in endgame (i.e. the whole "you think you lost ppl??? i've lost ppl too!!!" bit because comparing losses on top of everything that's lobbed at thor in this film KINDA pisses me off)

starting with thanos’ death — i didn’t expect it, and it got me engaged in the beginning

INFINITY WAR

i thought infinity war was okay...? maybe less than okay now after endgame.

i liked the final battle. i loved how intense it was, and even though i wasn’t familiar with wanda or vision or their relationship, i felt for them. i enjoyed seeing the guardians of the galaxy crew + iron man + spider-man + doctor strange team up a lot; i liked seeing all of the black panther characters again, too.

there are some parts of it that i didn’t like when i first watched it, but i decided to wait until i watched endgame before picking at / thinking more deeply about them. after watching the sequel, though, my thoughts are pretty much the same.

thanos as the villain protagonist — it’s an intriguing way to tell the story, and i’m all for it in theory, but it ultimately doesn’t work for me. for him to work, i have to be able to empathize with him and understand his cause. i have to believe in him and his goal. he believes in what he’s doing, sure, but can i?

no. i can’t because literally what the fuck. the entire concept of “too many people in the world, not enough resources” is bullshit, and it doesn’t help that thanos’ thinking echoes that of malthus / ehrlich which is false and is also rooted in racism + classism. SO YOU KNOW... THAT’S COOL, I GUESS. it might be? asking too much of the writing to address thanos’ argument on a philosophical level, but just having the other heroes call him a “madman” all the time—! it kind of drove me nuts as i was watching because it doesn’t highlight the fundamental flaws of thanos’ thinking in the first place. it’s a good vs. evil story, it’s “not supposed to be that deep,” i get it, but it just really bothers me how this film reduces the overpopulation myth into “oh, he’s just crazy” because UH... there are actual people in the world who subscribe to thanos’ thinking as fact and, frankly, it’s dangerous to lay the argument out like that and not challenge it on a higher level.

there’s thanos’ thought process and then there’s just... thanos himself.

i’m supposed to feel for this guy? why? because he’s abused his daughters over and over again...? he even tortures nebula in this film???

which leads me to how he acquires the soul stone. to obtain it, you have to sacrifice someone you love. okay, i buy it, fine. but thanos loving gamora? what.

what the fuck. he abused her, he manipulated her—i??? sorry, that’s not love. gamora even says in the film, “this isn’t love,” and you know what?! SHE’S RIGHT. as far as i’m concerned, thanos shouldn’t have gotten the stone, and if the stone accepts him as its keeper just because he flings gamora off a cliff then the soul stone can go fuck itself.

in retrospect, the whole “fling your loved one off a cliff to get the soul stone” is dumb as hell, but i bought the concept while watching, so it’s fine, i guess.

whatever... he gets all the stones in the end... and then there’s the next movie.

ENDGAME

as i said before, i liked thanos’ death in the beginning. it’s unexpected and it made me curious as to where the movie would go from there.

after that, it’s a five year time skip.

when they mentioned time travel, i was excited! the film kind of drags to get to the actual time traveling, however. i get that it’s important to establish how it all works, etc. but BOY. does it take a while. i was shocked when i saw this movie would be 3 hrs. long, but now i kind of understand why.

the time travel is fine. i chuckled at don cheadle’s bit with the “why don’t we just strangle baby thanos” and that’s as much as i liked from this part of the film.

just... the way grief is addressed and handled here... what.

hawkeye. it’s one thing for the other avengers to be, “we don’t know where he is or what he’s been up to.” it’s another thing entirely for them to be aware of what he’s been doing and then DO NOTHING ABOUT IT FOR FIVE YEARS. just—what?! this isn’t a priority for them? natasha and the others are just fine with hawkeye killing people as a way of dealing with the loss of his family? and no, it doesn’t matter that those guys he’s slaughtering are criminals or whatever—because UH, and i can’t believe i have to say this: killing people is not a good way to deal with grief??? not to mention the others clearly recognize it as something very troubling themselves—and THEN THEY DO NOTHING ABOUT IT. BECAUSE..... . . .. . WHY???

“i think we’re supposed to assume...” no, sorry. i’m not asking to have everything spelled out to me, but give me something. was hawkeye too hard to track (even though it seems they find him immediately in tokyo, but OKAY), were they too depressed over what happened, were they too scared to confront him—what was it that made them leave him like that for five years?

(don’t get me started on hawkeye in tokyo. yes, let’s just have him—a white man—slaughter japanese criminals because samurai swords are COOL and so is tokyo. fuck off. thanks for reminding me again just how diverse the main cast of this film is.)

it’s the same thing with thor. just... what?!

none of you wanted to reach out to him in the last five years and see how he’s been coping??? the people of new asgard were just... okay? with seeing him once a month? they were just okay??? knowing he was drowning himself in alcohol???!! what the fuck. like valkyrie is there in new asgard while all of this with thor is happening, what. WHAT.

it’s not like i expect hawkeye or thor or everyone else to be totally fine and dandy after all that’s happened, but it really irritates me how it seems like nobody’s tried to help or reach out to either of them in all these years. if they did, just imply it better???

moving on, it’s endearing to see thor power through his own misgivings and self-doubts during the movie, but those fat jokes can fuck off. because you know it’s not like REAL PEOPLE deal with depression or guilt or anxiety through food. it’s not like weight gain is a REAL LIFE thing that happens to people who are depressed or stressed or anything. YEAH, LET’S MAKE FUN OF HOW FAT HE IS BECAUSE HAHAHAHAHA FAT JOKES. FUCK YOU. at one point, thor reunites with his mother in the past, who literally recognizes his grief/emotions + mentions how the future hasn’t been kind to him, but HAHAHA DON’T FORGET TO HAVE HER MENTION HOW HE SHOULD EAT A SALAD BEFORE HE LEAVES.

it’s lazy humor, and that’s how i feel about most of endgame’s jokes. i think there were one or two moments that got a real laugh out of me and that’s it.

it just infuriates me how everyone else’s pain and anguish is allowed to be taken seriously, but not thor because HAHA HE’S SO FAT NOW. this picking on thor happens throughout the movie, and... it’s just been a LONG TIME since i was actively annoyed while watching a film, and even thinking about it now upsets me A LOT.

maybe i wouldn’t think the first portion of the film to be so slow if i enjoyed these different reunions, etc. but i was so worn down by the above points that i just wanted the time travel bit to start already so we could leave this behind and move on.

like i said before, i enjoyed traveling to older films, revisiting scenes, seeing different versions of the characters, etc. it’s really cool to see just how many people they brought back for endgame.

but natasha and hawkeye, though. what the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?! THERE’S TWO PARTS TO THIS...

so... you have to sacrifice someone you love to get the soul stone. SACRIFICE... .. . . AS IN.. .. . WILLINGLY.. . . . SURRENDERING... SOMETHING... sorry but it looked like natasha fucking sacrificed herself instead of hawkeye sacrificing her? SHE KICKED OFF THE ROCK SO HE WOULD LET GO OF HER WHILE HE HIMSELF DIDN’T WANT TO LET GO. HOW IS THIS A REAL SACRIFICE OF A LOVED ONE??? NEITHER OF THEM WANTED TO GIVE UP EACH OTHER, NEITHER OF THEM WERE WILLING TO ACCEPT THE SACRIFICE THAT NEEDED TO BE MADE.

like thanos’ acquisition of the soul stone is bullshit because he didn’t truly love gamora but at least he willingly made that sacrifice. i mean, if you want an actual version of what the soul stone rule dictates, go back to infinity war with wanda and vision: they love each other and, in the end, despite her reluctance, wanda ultimately chooses to destroy the mind stone, sacrificing vision, because she knows thanos can’t have it!

also... UH, WHY NATASHA??? yeah, because i needed that again after gamora. because i needed that again after ALL THE OTHER DEAD DAUGHTERS OR WIVES OR WHATEVER + MAN PAIN, DELICIOUS MAN PAIN that happens in the other films. HAHA.

not to mention using the same shot on natasha as the one on gamora in infinity war—just a broken body lying in a pool of blood at the bottom of a cliff. cool, cool. not infuriating at all.

again, i like the time travel in this movie; it all makes sense. but i didn’t really get how evil!nebula was able to teleport thanos and his entire ship to the present...? i guess they engineered more of the particles they stole from good!nebula or something...?

finally, steve rogers. uhhh... i don’t think i would’ve minded his ending so much if the overall tone / message of the movie were more consistent...?

in the beginning, after the five year time skip, he’s at some kind of support group, and he says something like, “you need to try and take little steps, you have to move on” after all that has happened. that’s a powerful message, and it’s suitable for endgame.

the message is contradicted somewhat in the beginning, since the heroes choose to undo what thanos did. but throughout the film, the characters go back in time and revisit the past: past selves, past events, past mistakes—people of the past that are no longer with them in the future. eventually they all have to say goodbye and return to the present without them: move on, knowing and accepting that there’s some things that you can’t redo or change.

steve and peggy also address this concept in another captain america movie. they reunite, when she’s old and lying in bed, and she tells him basically the same thing he says in the support group...?

PEGGY (CAPTAIN AMERICA: WINTER SOLDIER) The world has changed, and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best. And sometimes the best that we can do is to start over.

this message pretty much speaks to the journey of most of the characters. thor with his mother, wanda with vision, hawkeye with natasha (ignoring how i hate how everything happened), etc.

but by going back in time and choosing to stay with peggy, it doesn’t seem like steve aligns with that message at all...? and it’s weird because he’s the one to bring it up in this movie—and it’s echoed in his other major films? so having steve ultimately not being able to move on from peggy and the life he could’ve lived is...??? it just seems to contradict endgame and everything else in it, and it’s just... weird to have the movie end like that. i’m not sure how i feel. it’s sweet, but... IDK. it feels very abrupt.

i enjoyed the big final battles of both movies, but the journey to get to those moments is just as important... and sometimes it’s a rocky one. anyways, i felt very mixed / frustrated after watching endgame, and writing all of this down helped. i’ll probably delete it all later.

#p.#a very long ramble / rant about infinity war + endgame #now that i finally watched endgame #this should go without saying but: i'm yelling into the void; feel free to ignore; i might delete later #eta: okay now that it's been some time i'm gonna dump this in my general tag so i can find it more easily #the avengers #marvel

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olympicreads · 5 years

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king of scars by Leigh Bardugo rating: ★★★ 1/2 warning: this review contains spoilers. the paragraphs containing them will be marked accordingly.

I’ll find a way. All his life, Nikolai had believed that. His will had been enough to shape not only his fate but his own identity.

I was on the fence about giving this book 3 or 4 stars... Because this is a 4-stars novel, but I know that Leigh Bardugo can do much better, so I thought I’d be more strict in this case. I wish I was giving it the 5 stars it should’ve had, though. However, I can't do that in good conscience, because in more than one way this book was a regression to the bad aspects of The Grisha Trilogy.

I’m not going to say that this book was terrible, because it wasn’t. Leigh Bardugo is an incredibly talented author. The prose was great. The book as a whole was great... If you consider it a stand-alone.

King of Scars, as we know, presents us three main perspectives: Nina’s, Zoya’s, and Nikolai’s, with a fourth in the second part of the book: that of a new character called Isaak. I will be dividing this review into sections for each character, highlighting my likes and dislikes for each of them.

Nina Zenik

She is the only one that’s had a POV before this book. Incidentally, she’s the one who’s characterization jumped out the most at me, especially in the first half of the book.

[spoilers] When we first see her, she’s in Fjerda as a spy, working along with a familiar face, Adrik, and a new one, Leoni Hillis. She’s been on a mission for over two months, and for over two months she’s been dragging Matthias’ body along, refusing to bury him, hallucinating his voice in her head. That was my first indication that there was something “funny” going on: Nina had already let him go in Crooked Kingdom:

“In the next life then,” she whispered. “Go.” She watched his eyes close once more. “Farvell,” she said in Fjerdan. “May Djel watch over you until I can once more.” - Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 39.

And yet, despite having already accepted Matthias’ death, she drags his corpse along with her. I’m not going to lie: when she finally does bury him, I teared up. Her eulogy was beautiful. That doesn’t mean that it should’ve happened when it did. The importance he is given to Nina is far greater than that he had in Six of Crows. She loved him, but she loved Ravka too. She also loved her friends, and she missed her life at the Little Palace.

But for the first half of King of Scars, all she thinks about, all she cares about, is Matthias. I thought, “ok, maybe she’s rationalizing all the things that happened during her time at Ketterdam, her obsession with him is just a way to cope with PTSD”... but this all goes to hell when, despite her feelings, she willingly moves in with Brum at the end of her arc. She deserts Ravka and infiltrates Brum’s home instead of, oh, shooting his ugly face? When she’s got him defenseless, she chooses to keep him alive and not take him to Ravka for trial, despite the fact that she’s learned from him that they are planning something that relates to a Lantsov that’s not Nikolai, and that her country is at the brink of a war. She neglects to tell this to her allies as soon as she finds out and deserts the Second Army. [end of spoilers]

All of this plus the fact that almost nothing that happens during her arc is connected to the other POVs makes for an overall confusing portion, the poorest of the novel, that’d have been so much better if Nina hadn’t had a perspective in Six of Crows. She was wildly OOC, in my opinion. But again, that doesn’t mean that everything about her parts were bad. I loved Hanne, one of the newly introduced characters, and I love her chemistry with Nina. I really hope they get together in the second book.

Nikolai Lantsov

I love him. His inner dialogue is one of the wittiest I’ve read, and we can finally see that he’s as sharp on the inside as he is on the outside, despite his insecurities (or maybe because of them). The first half of his story was the easiest, most interesting to read. Learning about his trauma, his struggles, his (literal) inner demon, and how he puts on a smart-ass brave face in spite of everything he has on his plate, plus seeing his wit first-hand, was great. One of my favorite parts of the book, along with Zoya’s, but that’s for later.

[vague spoilers]

The second part, though... I don’t know how much the Grisha Saints are based on Orthodox ones, but I’m not a fan of their storyline. While I’m not entirely familiar with Orthodox tradition, I am (or, well, I was brought up as) Catholic, and unless I’m severely mistaken, there are many similarities in the way Saints are depicted by both. However, the way that they were showed in King of Scars left a lot to be desired, in my honest opinion. Saints are not “edgy” and “inhuman”. Alina was a more accurate representation of the “older” or more primitive versions of Saints than Lizabeta and Grigori were in King of Scars. While the idea of powerful Grisha who helped people in a way that made them be seen as miracle-workers or holy people is alright, them being “beasts” or animals doesn’t follow any traditional lore that I am aware of.

The idea of them being “wickedly evil”, or of someone like the Darkling being considered for Sainthood is not feasible I think, if not for anything else than the facts that he wasn’t a man of faith, he didn’t perform any miracles, he wasn’t a martyr, and he wasn’t particularly heroic or loved by the people, so I don’t see how he could be proclaimed a Saint or get such a large cult following that is not, let’s say, “Satanist” or heretic (to be fair, neither do most of the characters who have at least a pair of working braincells, but I digress). Hell, one of the Darkling’s own nicknames was “the Black Heretic”, so why the U-turn?

I suppose, though, that we could be given an explanation for this last part in the following book, so I’m going to be open about it.

[end spoilers]

Zoya Nazyalensky

I. Love. This. Woman... So much. She’s amazing. She’s one of the strongest, as of now most fleshed-out characters Leigh Bardugo has written, on par with Inej Ghafa, my overall favorite. Her POV was the one I enjoyed the most, her inner dialogue as sharp as her tongue, her story heartbreaking, and her personality as unapologetic but lovable (for those of us not under her glare, at least) as ever. I loved reading about her thoughts, her opinions, her likes and dislikes (though mostly her dislikes), and she’s 100% the type of female character we need more: women who don’t take no shit, but who are still human. Those who are strong but have feelings other than “murder”, that are not defined by what other expect of them, but still bask in the benefits their reputations as heartless give them.

[slight spoilers]

The only problem I had with her POV, one that is extremely easy to fix, is related to her backstory. It’s established that her father was a Suli man, meaning that Zoya is now canonically a biracial woman. This is amazing! The most beautiful, powerful Grisha in all of Ravka (or, dare I say, the Grishaverse) is a woman of color. However, the way that this was established left something to be desired: there was absolutely no indication other than that of her mentioning it that she’s in any way Suli. Compared to Inej, whose culture is shown in absolutely every part of her character, the difference left me a little bit disappointed.

I’d be completely fine with it if she hadn’t known her father, or if she had been taken to the Little Palace when she was too little to remember anything about her family, but she lived 9 years with her parents, and she never makes absolutely any mention of any cultural aspect that she likes or misses about her heritage. This could be done in different ways: a throwaway comment about liking a particular type of Suli food, an art piece that reminds her of Suli art she liked/hated as a kid, a cultural tradition that she still participates in privately, a type of cloth, anything. None of that is there, though, so I was left with the impression that Zoya was whitewashed. Not in the “common” way, of for example a white person playing a black character, but in the characterization sense.

A little bit more on that: when you’re writing characters of color, you have to be careful of many things. To name a few: not falling into stereotypes, making sure colorism has no bearing in the story, not oversimplifying issues faced by people of color, especially if you’re not part of that group, and that you’re not putting a “poc” label on a character that is otherwise white. The last one is in my opinion what has happened with Zoya. This can be avoided (and resolved) easily by including nods towards her culture. An acknowledgment that she’s not a monoracial white Ravkan through anything other than just one comment about how her father was Suli would resolve this issue and give us the most badass WoC in the Grishaverse.

[end slight spoilers]

Isaak

[major spoilers]

As for Isaak, I don’t have a lot to say about him, because overall I think he didn’t need to have a PoV in the story. He wasn’t a character we knew from before, so we didn’t care about him. He dies at the end of the story, his only purpose is to look like Nikolai and have the shortest almost-romance ever. All of this could have been shown through the eyes of either Tolya or Tamar, who always followed him around, so they could’ve shown the same story with no problem. All in all, his part wasn’t bad, but I didn’t care about it, which could maybe be a problem on itself.

Lastly, my biggest problem, left for last: it doesn’t make any sense to me that Nikolai and Zoya would willingly align themselves with the Darkling. Zero. They were extremely and personally affected during the Civil War, the book does an amazing job of showing their trauma as a result of it, but by the end they willingly accept to work with him? No. I don’t want to believe that. It’s a disservice to the sacrifices the characters made in The Grisha Trilogy. Are you telling me Alina lost her power, her friends, faked her death and married Mal for that? For the Darkling to be back? This ending is a disservice to her sacrifice. I didn’t like that plot-twist at all, and I really look forward to the next book, to know how this is all going to play out, because I’m extremely unsure about how good this development will be, story-wise, for the duology.

[end spoilers]

However, and to wrap my longest review yet, I want to say that this isn’t a bad book. The writing is fantastic. The characters, whether I agree with their characterization or not, are fleshed-out and sympathetic. The pacing is great, I read the whole novel in less than two days. While the world was already established in previous books, we got a lot more of depth and information about Ravkan and, mostly, Fjerdan and Shu culture. Bardugo remains one of my favorite writers in the YA and Fantasy genres, but because she is capable of so much, I wanted to give her work a review that reflects what I think of her talent, and of how much more I think she can do as a writer.

"Yet now that the time had come to speak, Nikolai did not want to tell this story. He did not want it to be his story. He’d thought the war was in the past, but it refused to remain there.”

#lbardugo #review #book review #kos spoilers #my review #king of scars spoilers #leigh bardugo #my diverse recs #3 stars #king of scars

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themattress · 5 years

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Everything wrong with the series heroines’ scenes in Kingdom Hearts III

Because it is legit fascinating how horrendously sexist this game’s writing is.

SCENE: Kairi and Lea, post-Twilight Town

- "I'm training to become a Keyblade wielder like you". Right off the bat, we have something wrong. Kairi apparently needs formal Keyblade training in order to be a “real Keyblade wielder’ like Sora and Riku. Except that Sora and Riku didn’t receive formal Keyblade training - it was just fine and dandy for them to pick up a Keyblade, start slinging it, and become a master at it through their adventures. But a GIRL doing the same? Oh no, we can’t have that!

- "That's right. No more waiting for you to come back from your adventures. I want to get out there and do my part to help." This is bullshit, because this was a development that Kairi already made in KH2! Seriously, talk to her before entering the door to Kingdom Hearts and she outright said “I’m tired of waiting, from now on where one of us goes the other follows!” and the epilogue is framed as if Sora, Riku and Kairi will be going on an adventure together now. But then Nomura and Oka decided “NAAAAH!”, retconned this in BBS’ secret ending by having Kairi meekly agree to just wait behind for Sora and Riku again, and are continuing this degradation of her character here, where she only steps up when Yen Sid calls for her to.

- "I'll admit I was a little scared of him at first, but I've gotten to know him better. All he ever wanted was to help his friend. Honestly, it's hard not to like him." Fuck this. Axel didn’t want to help his friend, Axel wanted to help himself. Roxas, the friend he betrayed, made him feel like he had a heart. Axel wanted that feeling back, and was willing to harm Kairi and Sora to get it back. He was a selfish bastard, and this whitewashing of his character in order to pander to his popularity is disgusting, especially when at the expense of his past victim. The line given to her of “It’s hard not to like him” is especially wretch-inducing. I sure as Hell don’t like him!

- "It won't be easy, but I hope you'll remain the happy and cheerful Sora I know. There's no heart your smile can't reach." Schmaltzy, forced SoKai crap right here. Remember how good and subtle the writing in the original KH was? Where all Kairi needed to say was “Sora, don’t ever change” and that said SO MUCH about her character and her relationship with him?

- "But I won't send it. It's more for me. I just like talking to Sora, even if it's on paper." OK, now you’re just making Kairi and her feelings for Sora look pathetic. In KH2, when she couldn’t remember Sora, she still sent him a letter in a bottle that she wrote, having faith that it would reach him. And now I’m expected to believe she’s too shy to send a letter to Sora now?

- "You're sweat, Lea." God, I think I’m going to be sick!

- "Don't hold back, Lea. Promise?" A contrived line in order to use Kairi for Xion-related angst for Lea to go through. By that same token, Xion is also being used for a man’s development.

- "Call me Axel from now on." This is so fucked up! A girl tells the older man who once kidnapped her that she’s not comfortable with his constant apologies. The man doesn’t respectfully stop, he instead tells his former kidnap victim that he’ll only stop doing this thing that makes her uncomfortable “one one condition” - that she begin calling him by the name she knew him by when he kidnapped her! WTF!? In what universe is this appropriate!?

SCENE: Aqua and the two Ansems, post-Monstropolis

- "Don't need it!" And thus begins Aqua’s degradation into a joke in this game - she attacks a powerful Heartless without her Keyblade, and shockingly is owned in two seconds flat and turned into a Darkling. There’s being brave, and then there’s being dumb. This...is dumb.

SCENE: Kairi and Lea, post-The Caribbean.

- "Now that she's a part of me again, I figured all was right. But she can't look at this forest, feel the wind on her face, none of it. And if she could, it would be different for her. Her time was short, but she lived it, and that makes it hers. What right did I have to take those feelings and experiences back? They don't belong to me. Nothing's as it should be. Not for her or Roxas." FUCK THIS. This pisses me off so much. I loved the happy ending of KH2, including for Roxas and Namine. But now it’s been retconned so that it wasn’t a happy ending, that they didn’t retain their individuality from within Sora and Kairi despite what was clearly said and shown in KH2′s ending, and it’s a terrible fate that they must be “saved” from to end their “hurt”. And Kairi is now blaming herself for it - “what right did I have to take those feelings and experiences back”? Oh, I don’t know - maybe you had a right because Namine wanted it and fucking extended her hand to you so that she could rejoin with you!? Remember that!? I guess not, since otherwise the game would remember that it was said/shown that Namine would still exist and be able to experience things and keep hold of her own feelings and experiences. But that might create lots of bonding scenes between Kairi and Namine, and we can’t have that, can we? This series is all about the MALE bonding!

- "Well, you don't have to worry alone anymore, Axel." GAAAAAAAH!!!

SCENE: Anti-Aqua in the Realm of Darkness

- Just...everything. From Anti-Aqua being treated as a villain that must be defeated rather than reasoned with even when the entire breaking speech she gives to Mickey is objectively true and well-deserved, from Sora needing to beat the shit out of her in order to save her, and from the hollow “you’re home” callback to the KH2 ending, with Sora in place of Kairi (are they going for a Sora/Aqua pedophilia ship tease here?) and Kairi herself nowhere in sight, not being a part of rescuing Aqua despite being allegedly her counterpart in the Destiny Trio. At the end of KH2 and even at the end of this game’s opening FMV, we had Sora, Riku, Kairi, Mickey, Donald and Goofy. Thus, Kairi’s absence is glaring (and not for the last time!)

SCENE: Castle Oblivion becomes Land of Departure again

- "Ven's expecting me. I promised to wake him. Said I'd be right back, but I'm not even close. I'm in for an earful." But Ven’s heart wasn’t in his body when you promised that! Why would he remember that promise or be expecting anything from you!? And the way you’re phrasing it (”in for an earful”) makes it sound as if you’re the child and he’s the adult! What the Hell!?

- "Why? Your heart never found its way home?" Did Sora really not tell her!?

- "Sorry, but you've seen me too weak, too often. Now it's my turn to shine." Where to begin? This notorious line is woodenly delivered right before a fight with Vanitas where Aqua is playable. She is saying it to Sora, basically admitting that this is a matter of ego and that she wants to show off in front of him (again, creepy pedophilic ship vibes here). Also, “you’ve seen me too weak, too often”? He literally just met you, and you were pretty damn strong when fighting him as Anti-Aqua! And after the playable fight is over, Vanitas blasts at Ven, Aqua jumps in front of the blast and has time to deflect it with her Keyblade or barrier magic...but she doesn’t, gets knocked out, and has to be saved by Sora and Ven. Weak!

- "Good morning, Ven." Wow, such an emotional reunion! (That’s sarcasm, btw.)

SCENE: Gathering at Yen Sid's Tower before the final battle

- Again, everything. Aqua and Kairi’s interaction is pathetically brief and only revolves around “Hey, remember when we met in BBS? That was a thing.” Plus bringing up the bullshit retcon of Aqua enchanting Kairi’s necklace, Mickey somehow not having pieced together that the little girl was Kairi until now, Lea whining that this talk is taking time away from him and his narcissistic entitlement complex, and more “Roxas and Namine need to be saved” crap.

SCENE: Land of Departure at night

- "It's like I've been part of some big adventure." This scene features Aqua and Ventus. But it’s only about Ventus, and his X connections. Aqua is nothing but a springboard for him.

SCENE: Paopu Tree on Destiny Islands

- "I want to be a part of your life no matter what. That's all." Except that Kairi already IS a part of Sora’s life no matter what. This has been true since the events of the original KH, where she inhabited his heart. The paopu sharing was never meant to be a literal thing to happen when it was conceived, it was symbolic, it was smart writing. This is dumb, and forced.

- "Let me keep you safe." This line isn’t going to have much payoff. In fact, between this and her dialogue in her letter at the very start, it’s sounding a lot like many a poor unfortunate shonen heroine who will pay lip service to getting stronger and helping the boys, and then ultimately proves useless when it comes down to it. Three guesses as to where this is going.

SCENE: Terranort appears

- EVERYTHING. The sheer incompetence displayed by Aqua and Kairi in this scene must be seen to be believed. Both of them have Keyblades, and neither of them use them. Unreal.

SCENE: Kairi brings Sora back

- "The light in the darkness. It was you. You're the one who kept me from fading away." Get it!? Because it’s like the first KH! Where Kairi was the light in the darkness who kept Sora from fading as a Heartless! And the scenery and music is literally straight from the scene where she showed him the memory of her grandmother’s story! ‘Member that fantastic scene? ‘Member? ‘MEMBER? Isn’t this coming full circle? Isn’t this poignant? (No. It’s not.)

- "I feel strong with you, Kairi." This line right here shows the big problem with Kairi in this game - she has nothing to offer for herself, she only has something to offer Sora. She is used for Sora’s role and development, as he says: to make him strong, all while she stays weak.

SCENE: The Finale

- EVERY FUCKING THING. Larxene implies she was only part of the Organization because of her feelings for a man. Aqua gets beaten by Terranort and has to be saved by Terra (which on it’s own wouldn’t be so bad, seeing as Sora and Ven are in the same boat, but it’s her last battle in the game after having lost all the other ones and she loses AGAIN). Kairi, after just half a battle as a party member, gets beaten by Xion and then kidnapped by Xemnas. Xion, who only shows up now, is again used as a prop for Lea, then gets beaten down by Xemnas and needs to be saved by Roxas, and then is a pitifully weak party member in the battle against Saix while Roxas is overpowered. Kairi is fucking killed by Xehanort in order to give Sora “proper motivation” and thus achieve his goal, meaning Kairi was more useful to the villain than to the heroes. Xion does nothing but say an out-of-left-field line about something she shouldn’t possibly know. Aqua is basically told by Eraqus that she shouldn’t have been named Master and that Terra should have (”Take care of them” - Eraqus to Terra about Aqua and Ven). Namine only shows up in the last seconds of the game, without any dialogue. And for the final slap in the face, Kairi is resurrected offscreen, only to lose Sora as a result of it.

Amazing. Literally every scene featuring these girls had something to demean them in it. KH3 is the absolute embodiment of the KH series’ woman problem. Hardcore fans can deny it all they want, they can accuse me of being a stupid hater or a killjoy or an SJW or what-have-you, but they cannot change the truth. And the truth is that Tetsuya Nomura is a sexist hack.

#Disney #Square Enix #Kingdom Hearts #Kingdom Hearts III #Analysis #Sexism #Misogyny #Bad Writing #Character Derailment #Anti-Kingdom Hearts #Anti-Nomura #Anti-Tetsuya Nomura

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ghostsapphic · 6 years

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The Maximum Ride Movie Liveblog:

Jeb is very blonde here.

I’ve always wondered what happened when the flock was rescued from The School.

The baby!flock seem very unconcerned with the fact that they seem to have been discovered.

A+ child acting.

Bleugh I don’t like the music in the opening credits. On its own it would be fine but it already doesn’t fit the tone and aesthetic of this movie.

Why was Jenna Marbles the executive producer for this movie again?

Uhhhhh bad voiceover alert.

The first scene seems so fake.

~sarcasm font~ don’t you just looooove how much Max has been whitewashed in this movie?

This score already doesn’t fit with this movie at all. It would completely fit in The Neverending Story tho.

What was with that first Fang scene?

“The Nest”

I hate that their house isn’t on a cliff.

Fang.....your personality from the books......where’d it go?

I hate everyone’s fashion already.

“One cookie’s a snack, two’s a meal” says the girl whose metabolism is a billion times faster than any normal human.

What was with that creepy music?

The actress who’s playing Max isn’t exactly good, but she sure is hot.

I always forget how weird of a name “Eraser” is until somebody says it out loud.

I’ve heard people say that Gazzy is the only one who isn’t completely ooc in this movie and so far I completely agree.

“Were you really gonna put us all at risk just to go shopping?” how do they even get their food?

Max is so mean in this scene. Poor Nudge.

I’m glad that this movie covers where the flock gets there food from. I always had a million questions about that while reading the books.

Fang and Iggy look exactly the same.

Max is really not smart when it comes to cooperating with the rest of the flock.

IS JEB SUPPOSED TO BE MAX’S VOICE HERE?

What the fuck is Gazzy wearing?

The fact that Angel’s doesn’t talk means that there’s almost no reason for us to care about her being captured at all. At least in the book we establish that Max seems to care about Angel more than anyone else in the flock.

Nudge is so depressing here. What happened to “Motormouth Nudge”?

At the moment Nudge is already where she’s at near the end of the series. She claims that Max is selfish just like she did in Maximum Ride Forever.

BAD WING CGI ALERT!

BAD SLOMO FIGHT ALERT!

ARI LOOKS SO FUNNY JHAKJHSGaKSGJHSAJKG

BAD CGI CLOUDS ALERT!

Why is baby!Max drawing at The School? I’ve never thought about any hobbies that they could have had before escaping the school.

Honestly now that I think about it Jeb had a real stockholm syndrome thing going on with the flock while at the school (and it’s not even a movie exclusive thing). The kids worshipped him even though he was still part of a group of people who made their lives a living hell and didn’t do anything about it for TEN YEARS.

I hate the colour scheme of this movie.

I hate how everyone is wearing fingerless gloves. Why?

Fang......stop talking.

It also seems like he’s making a lot of the decisions for the flock in Max’s place.

“Why Angel?” that’s what i spent the entire series asking.

The fact that Nudge is staying at home means we won’t get to see any of her scenes with Fang and the hawks :((((((

The slomo walking shots are so dumb.

This movie is already hilariously bad.

Was Iggy touching the post supposed to be a nod to him being blind? Because tbh the books made it pretty clear that he knows exactly where everything is in the house, so it just looks like the actor messed up and they were too lazy to retake it.

This Eraser fight in the house is not nearly as fun as it was in the books.

KJALSGHKJASHKDA THE SHOT OF IGGY CARRYING NUDGE AND GAZZY AWAY FROM THE EXPLOSION ASFKJAHGS I’M SHITTING MYSELF WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY?????

The scene where Angel is doing that puzzle while getting shocked is significantly less impacting than the tests in the books.

Why are there so many faceless Jeb shots jfc.

Speaking of which, I hate all the shots of Max and Fang flying that seem to go on for a billion years each.

Is there supposed to be romantic tension here or something?

Ella is certainly.......old?

Max being rescued by Fang is so much less badass than the way she escaped the gunmen in the books.

I think this scene is trying to be intense but it’s really just overdramatic.

In what world was Max saving Ella her being selfish?

This music is also starting to remind me of the minecraft soundtrack.

These transitions are not working in the movie’s favour at all.

Oh god all the acting seems fake in the scene where Dr. Martinez tells Max about her chip.

DR MARTINEZ DOESN’T EVEN MENTION MAX’S WING WTF?

The scene of Max cutting Ella’s shirt is super intense for absolutely no reason.

Dr. Martinez and Ella deserve more screen time.

The dialogue of this movie is absolutely terrible.

The Max and Fang romance in this movie is absolutely pathetic tbh.

THE CHILD ACTOR FOR ARI IS SO BAD AT ACTING SCARY LKGJALSKD.

I kinda wanna be mad at this movie’s interpretation of Ari but then again, in The Angel Experiment his characterization wasn’t exactly any better. It was only in book 2 and 3 when he became one of my favourite characters.

Wait, when did Ari choose to become an Eraser?

How did a loud noise literally incapacitate the flock?

I’m kinda glad that this movie addressed why Jeb rescued the flock. Jeb was always one of the most confusing characters of the books (along with Angel) and I’m glad that the writers decided that maybe their audience isn’t as dumb as they think we are and that it would be smart to try to make the plot of this movie actually make sense for a second.

“I don’t like chocolate chip cookies anymore” MAX NO!

MAX STOP TRUSTING JEB YOU DUMBASS!

Oh wait she actually didn’t trust him nvm.

Have I mentioned how much I hate faceless villain shots? It’s so unsubtle.

This movie is trying way too hard to recreate book Max’s snark and failing miserably.

“There’s always a way out” LKSJALHKKLS BAD CALL BACK

Did they like, blow a hole in the wall or something? I genuinely can’t tell.

JUST LEAVE THE SCHOOL ALREADY!

Wait everyone’s gone except for Max?

Ugh I was getting so ready for Jeb to tell Max that she killed her own brother.

OH SHIT MAN IS THE VOICE COMING IN?

Wait this isn’t The Voice. All she’s seeing is random shots from the movie. This is just lazy.

Everything about Fax in this movie is extremely forced and uncomfortable and I feel personally offended.

The repetition of the line “this experiment’s over” just left me wanting more. Who’s replaying that line? And why? Just for the drama of it all?

Dear god this movie is bad.

But like, funny bad.

#maximum ride #maximum ride movie

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filligan-universe · 6 years

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31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN -- Week 3

The week of Fridays. Sorry if that’s dreadfully boring, but I’ve been looking for an excuse to binge these and this challenge seemed like a good enough one. They’re easily digestible, especially after the third one, and short and simple. I once caught Parts 6-8 during a marathon on TV when I was young and they didn’t scare me but I was fascinated by them. Oh, I also watched Krampus.

October 13 -- Krampus (2015)

Few people seem to understand what this is, but I’m sure as hell glad I bit the blind bullet on director Michael Dougherty’s other film, Trick R Treat, which I will be watching for this challenge because it’d be dumb not to. Krampus is a gateway horror film for kids. I always derided horror in my youth because I was, and still am, a giant wuss, but the genre is more flexible than any other when it comes to aging. They’re fine wines, really. Where else would my tastes be without films like Beetlejuice in my childhood? And I know Beetlejuice has never really been considered a horror, but the film is generally spooky and can act as a gateway for kids to get accustomed to the genre -- it can teach them to have fun being scared.

Krampus is an artifact in that sense. There is a clear and spooky atmosphere, some awesome creature designed that even creeped me a little, and the film doesn’t apologize for any of it. It’s for kids -- and adults who have already been gatewayed. I found very few flaws in it.

9/10

October 14 -- Friday the 13th Part III (1982)

The Friday-a-thon begins. This film was made with primitive 3D in mind and it possesses entertainment value in that alone. I mean, it’s also hilarious because of everything else that happens, but the 3D thing is a real cincher. Objects and hands, oddly enough, keep being framed directly toward the camera. And viewing this in 2D, it’s easy to forget how this film released, so literally every time something like that happened, my brain broke a little: “What? Why would you frame something like that?! I don’t even know what I saw! A snake on a string? Huh?!?! OHHH fuckin’ 3D!” When Jason spearguns a girl in the lake, the spear fires towards the camera along a white string. When I saw that, I said, “YASSS 3D!!”

5/10

October 15 -- Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter (1984)

The franchise finally has some money behind it and no longer looks like utter garbage with flecks and dirt and WATER DROPLETS on the camera lens (sorry, Part III triggered a lot in me). And the film doesn't do much do tread new ground, but baby Corey Feldman is there, and Crispin Glover is a dancing champion.

6/10

October 16 -- Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)

I appreciate a lot of what this film tries to do to resuscitate the franchise. Nobody like it because Jason isn’t in it, but that’s fine, I don’t care. Part V tries to bridge the previous four films in a new direction. It doesn’t pan out because, well, this is still a slasher flick and also most of the characters are pretty boring -- Tommy included -- and the ending is totally nutso bonkers and makes zero sense. Still, you know, it’s better than Part III.

6/10

October 17 -- Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (1986)

I haven’t watched them all yet so I may retract this statement, but if there’s one Friday film I’ll likely rewatch just to legit enjoy it, it’ll be Part VI. From the outset, the atmosphere is refreshed and new: Tommy Jarvis is a new actor with a new haircut and then wacky stuff starts happening. The best part? The film knows how wacky it is and relishes in it. Look at that image. The film’s opening titles is a James Bond parody. I wasn’t sure what was happening in the beginning -- weirdo resurrections and magical lightning bolts?! But once I saw Jason walk into a closeup of his own pupil and slash the titles into existence, I was sold.

The film has been labeled a prototype for the self-aware horror film -- your Screams and Chuckies -- and considering it has a year on Evil Dead 2, I’m willing to concede that point. Okay, okay, okay, let me set this up clearly: John Travolta’s nephew and his lady-friend are driving a Winnebago, but Jason is hiding in the back and captures the girl. John Travolta’s nephew can’t notice, though, right? I mean, he’s still driving, and also where’s all the fun when he gets killed? So, the solution to keep him distracted was for him to just love the shit out of driving a mobile home. His girlfriend gets hacked to bits and that’s constantly intercut with him shouting, “THIS IS GREAT!” from the driver’s seat. Honestly, best piece of comedy I’ve seen in months.

This film knows the franchise won’t survive on serious slasherness ad nauseam, so it endeavors to actually be fun. Hell yeah. Also, a sweet Alice Cooper theme song to close the end credits? Done. I’m done.

7/10

October 18 -- Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Instead of capturing the fun established in Part VI, Part VII returns to boring seriousness while introducing telekinetic powers in Carrie 2.0. This feels like a film made by committee. “Fellas, it’s 1988! Stephen King is really popular!” Even when Jason grabs a weedwhacker, he just lumbers around. His heart’s not in it anymore. The makeup on his ugly fish face is dope, I guess. But none of the characters are interesting, not even Carrie the Sequel, and the film can’t even drum up excitement in an unstoppable force versus an immovable object. Carrie 2.0 just keeps electrocuting and drowning and throwing Jason around and he keeps getting back up. No one cares. She can’t even find a clever solution, she has to be saved by her zombie father whom she accidentally drowned in Crystal Lake with her powers as a child. There, I ruined the ending of the film for you and I don’t even give a fuck. Why is her dad a zombie? What the fuck.

4/10

Hey, let’s take a minute to cover something tangentially related that popped in my head last night: when the hell do these films take place? Let’s break it down:

Despite being released in 1980, Part 1 takes place in 1979 because I believe it takes place 21 years after the murders in 1958 (bear with me). So, Part 1 is in 1979.

Part 2 has a tiny section 2 months after Part 1, but the bulk of the film takes place five years later. So, Part 2 is in 1984.

Part 3 takes place immediately after Part 2. It’s still 1984.

Part 4 takes place immediately after Part 3. Still 1984

Part 5 does not specifically state when it takes place in relation to the previous installment, but we know Tommy Jarvis has become an adult, or just about one. He’s 12 in Part 4, so let’s be generous and say he’s 17, which means five years have passed since Part 4. The year is now 1989.

Part 6 presumably takes place directly after Part 5, but it’s a little unclear: the film can cleverly be interpreted as a direct sequel or a whitewashing; after all, the ending of Part 5 makes no sense and is understandably whisked under the rug. Either way, though, Tommy is the same age, so it’s still 1989.

This is where it gets interesting. Jason is chained at the bottom of Crystal Lake when Carrie 2.0 is a small child (IMDb says she’s 10 so let’s go with that). I had to rewatch the start of the film, but yes, we open on Jason underwater. It’s unclear when this takes place in relation to Part VI: Jason is decomposing but he’s still mostly meat. Let’s say it’s been months instead of years. However, the film then jumps ten years. The year is now... hold on to your butts... 1999. I know Jason still has about a decade left before he’s in space or something, but damn, it’s weird that this timeline works at all.

#friday the 13th #Friday the 13th Part 2 #Krampus #Krampus 2015 #Friday the 13th review #Friday the 13

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kiwiicaspian · 7 years

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She’s so Immature Pt.2

Jumin was not one to fall in love. He wasn't one to recognize "love" at all.

Then, MC joins RFA and...

He still couldn't careless about love.

He could careless about her.

She was stubborn, rude, and extremely immature.

But, love comes in unexpected ways.

Jumin was surely on one hell of a ride.

Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3/ Part 4

“Everything seems to be fine,” the doctor said as Zen paced around the room and Jumin sat in the uncomfortable hospital chairs, tapping his foot rapidly. Jumin was thinking about the good representation the doctor had for strong feminine roles in society, totally not about MC passed out in a bed.

“Stop tapping the floor, would you!” Zen shouted continuing to walk back and forth in the cramped room. Hospitals have always made Jumin uncomfortable. The whitewashed rooms and cringy scent. The worst was that there’s always someone in grief and always someone in relief. It felt wrong to be sitting here even though she had no major injuries.

“Seven will be here any minute right?” Jumin asked, trying to calm his nerves. Of all the people in the RFA it had to be Zen that he was stuck with. Jumin was grateful, for Zen had called for the non-existing security (they should really get that fixed) yet, he’d rather be with anyone else right now. Not in this moment of conflict in his mind. What was MC arguing about back then? And why did she protect him? This is the thing he can’t stand. She acted like a child, even though she knew the risk, MC still provoked them. Yet, there was a little part of his mind...it was very small...that was appreciative. Jumin was so very lucky to have friends like her. To have someone like her in general. MC wasn’t as bad as he thought. She was still stubborn, rude and immature but, Jumin didn’t mind as much anymore.

“Yeah, he’ll be coming soon,” Zen said looking away from both Jumin and MC, “when will she be waking up?” he asked impatiently.

“She’ll-” the doctor began before being rudely interrupted.

“Let her rest”

Zen was in too much shock to respond. On the other hand, the doctor seemed kind of pissed.

“DEFENDER OF JUSTICE HERE FOR THE RESCUE” sang an awfully familiar voice, as they burst through the door. Fiery red hair and a plastered smile were the first things he noticed. Of course, Seven would try to lighten the mood. He knows the tension is building up in the air before even coming in. Jumin really is lucky.

“It’s not a good time to be goofing around,” Zen said while glaring towards Seven’s exuberant aura.

“Whaaaaat” Seven replied, putting his arm around Zen’s shoulders “I’m not being goofy I’m coming to her rescue”

“Rescue from what?”

“Whatever you two are doing to her”

“I’m gonna kill you”

As the two continued to bicker, Jumin glanced back at MC. She didn’t look graceful at all. Her arms were spread across the bed as if she was taking a nap. One of her legs were peaking out the covers. It would be nice if she at least slept like a real lady. Not that Jumin has ever seen a lady sleeping, of course.

“Lol, Jumin is such a pervert” Seven giggled “he’s so flustered just by looking at MC’s leg”. Did he just say an acronym out loud? Wait...What is Seven talking about?

“Oh my god!” Zen shouted “all men really are a beast!” he blocked MC from his view desperately. Jumin ignored all of their giggling and shouting, he was too focused on something else. Slowly placing his hand on his cheeks he felt it. Jumin’s cheeks her very warm. The realization just made him more flustered. Jumin...could not possibly think that...that thing is attractive. No, it must just be the hot room.

“Zen, no one cares about your beast theories”

The room went silent. Her voice when it’s not shouting sure sounds less...barbaric. In fact, he didn’t hate it at all.

“S-stop blushing like that!” Zen demanded, “You're disgusting!”. Seven began to laugh again while MC stared at Jumin in confusion. This just made him redder. Jumin doesn’t know why he’s having such a foreign reaction. MC isn’t the only oblivious one.

“How are you feeling?” Jumin required, ignoring the wheezing sounds that Seven was making.

“Don’t you mean, how are you feline?” she responded with a vicious smirk.

Not attractive at all…

“Oh my god he’s doing it again!”

After a solid five minutes of all three of them comparing Jumin to a tomato, he’s had enough. “So when are we leaving?” he asked, standing up to brush off his button-up.

“Yeah, let’s just ditch this place,” MC said while sitting up. That’s not what Jumin meant.

“Wait we can’t just leave,” said Zen.

“For once I agree” Jumin added. MC jumped off her bed, which made Jumin have to suppress his laughter. She couldn’t even reach the floor! Ha! It could be that the bed was just immensely high, but let him have his fun.

“I’m healthy, that’s the point of a hospital” MC continued “their job is done and I’ve gotta bounce”. She began to head towards the door.

“Women shouldn’t say ‘I’ve gotta bounce’” Zen was obviously more perverted than Jumin thought.

“I can say whatever the fuck I want” She replied as she swung the door open. Jumin followed behind her, shell-shocked.

“EDGyYYyyy”

(You can probably guess who said that)

Jumin wasn’t very nervous. He had more authorities than any of the workers here. He was just pondering on why MC had no common sense. She could get in huge trouble yet, decides to waltz out of a hospital. What if they think she ran away? Or even worse...got kidnapped. It would cause so much trouble for her and her family. MC is irresponsible and reckless. What an idiot.

“You’re and idiot” Jumin muttered, not noticing she’d hear. He wasn’t even aware that he had said that until he did. MC’s foolishness must be rubbing off him.

“Yeah, for standing up for you”

“You really believe that?”

“I don’t know, do I?” MC said nonchalantly, avoiding her eyes.

“How would I know?” Jumin asked frustratedly.

“How would I know?”

“Because you’re you!” Jumin’s outburst have been happening more frequently lately.

I’ve literally wrote this a day after I wrote the last chapter but, I thought it would be weird to post it a day apart considering that it’s finals and everything. Only the people reading this know that I procrastinate on studying by writing fanfics. Damn I’m such a loser. I got some positive feedback on this fanfic so I’m very grateful.

My AO3 is Riceball02

My Wattpad is kiwiicaspian

They aren’t exactly alike, some of my work is only published on one account but, it’s pretty much the same.

#jumin han #mystic messenger jumin #mm jumin #jumin han hc #jumin han x mc #jumin x mc #jumin x reader #jumin han x reader #jumin han headcanon #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcannons #mystic messenger hc #mystic messenger fic #mystic messenger fanfic #jumin fanfic #jumin han fanfiction

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rock-and-compass · 7 years

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Okay my thoughts on the season finale… (as posted in the ABC advisory group)

If this wasn’t Jennifer Morrison’s (as good as) Last episode I would probably be fine with it, another rinse and repeat finale with a one group of people occupied doing one thing in one place while another group is kept busy elsewhere doing something else. It was very like what we’ve seen in the season finales in recent years – very formulaic. And I guess, with so many of the cast members departing and this being touted so heavily as “the final battle” I guess I just expected more. And that’s my mistake; I own that. I’m starting to think that Once Upon a Time is not a show that should be thought about on any level. It is fast food storytelling. You enjoy it at the time but ultimately, it’s not very satisfying and if you think about it too closely you’re likely to feel regret. I think you’re supposed to enjoy the surface level of the show but not concern yourself with the depth. And this is a huge and sad realisation for someone who has watched the show from the beginning and spent the last four seasons writing about and analysing the episodes in depth – sometimes writing thousands of words about one episode. It wasn’t always like this though and it makes me sad.

My biggest problem with the episode was the disconnectedness between the two sides of the story. We see the people transported back to the Enchanted Forest do various things – there’s collapsing worlds, there is a hunt for a bean, Regina is trying to do magic for …reasons. But ultimately nothing that those stuck in the Enchanted Forest does has any purpose whatsoever – it’s mindless busywork to keep them occupied and out of the way. Why didn’t Hook use the bean? Why didn’t he throw it on the ground and create a portal and get back to Emma quickly like Snow told him to? How nice it would have been to get a pay-off on Emma’s brief flashes of memory of her wedding day, Hooks image burning in the book, with him coming through a bean portal and Emma feeling a strange stab of recognition for this man and then them Kissing to restore her memories. Then Emma and Killian would have gotten their TLK! I feel so sad that so many couples got one, some that didn’t really deserve one (Hades and Zelena, I’m looking at you!) except for Emma and her true love. They still could have had their season one inversion of Henry giving Emma a TLK to save her life after the fight with Gideon (even though I think, and I am a mother, it’s really, really weird for a child to give their parent a true love’s kiss.). It would have connected the two parts of the story beautifully and it would have given purpose to the Enchanted Forrest side of the story and just improved the whole episode overall. I can’t help but think the episode would have been more entertaining and more of a parallel to season one if the curse had kept everyone in Storybrooke and robbed them of their memories – Henry still could have been the sole believer (I guess it was the book or his author role that kept him exempt?) and given him more purpose, more people to try to get through to… And maybe Emma wouldn’t have had to do the strange and oddly fast (8hour round trip!) visit to Boston. Ultimately, I felt there was no connection between why it was so important to separate Emma from her family and the realisation that she was never alone and the battle with Gideon and the curse . . . and yeah.

The Black-fairy was a big anti-climax. I knew she would be. She literally functioned as a Regina-substitute and I can’t help but wonder if, as this was the ending that A&E envisioned from the start, it was supposed to be Regina in the end. It would have made a hell of a lot more sense! I really believe the show was derailed from its purpose with, not by the befriending of Regina as a tactic to defeat her … but that that tactic worked so efficiently and without question. Regina’s redemption felt like a slap-up whitewash and somewhere along the line the writers became too scared to challenge the character. She got away with everything she ever did with no consequence. It’s hardly a satisfying story. Fairy tales are about good versus evil. With good supposed to win after trial and hardship. It’s a shame that Regina was never put through the same trials and challenge that say, Rumple or Hook or even Emma and the Charmings’ were put through. Seeing the dwarves paint “Queen” on her door and bowing to her was sickening. She is not a queen, she is a usurper. At the very least she should have admitted this as part of her “redemption”. The very least. All I could think when there was the shot of her looking at the red apple at the end, was that she must be very pleased with herself. She Won. She won everything. Her evil plans and schemes paid off big time – she’s rich, powerful, she apparently “owns” a town, the people now love her, she has a son, friends and a sister and she never had to pay the price for any of the terrible things she did. It’s not logical to expect people would just ‘get over’ decades of abuse and torment. It’s not fair on the people she hurt. Not to mention that her clone also rides off happily ever after into the sunset? Of all the unnecessary inclusions in the finale the presence of Regina 2.0 was the worst. She dominated and nearly killed the show; I seriously hope that this is the last we see of her. In this new-look season seven, I really hope that they make Henry’s nemesis, whoever that may be, his nemesis. And keep it that way. Don’t make Henry befriend him (or her)! Enmity is a good thing to keep between enemies. It drives a story, it gives purpose – it gives the audience someone to root for. And as ironic as this sounds – it doesn’t divide. People may love a villain but they love them for being a villain and they love the hero for standing up to them. It makes a much better story than making your protagonist sweep the past under the carpet, and put their blinkers on about every questionable thing that their nemesis is doing. And don’t turn Henry’s archenemy into a sainted Mary-sue (or Bobby-Stu) who is annoying and sanctimonious while at the same time being self-centred and selfish and boring and rendering themselves superfluous to the point where every appearance in the story feels like a shoehorn…

The ending of the episode was nice, but a bit twee. Everyone got a happy ending. Yay. I guess. Whether they deserved it or not. Belle, why wouldn’t you have taken that newly babyfied Gideon and run for the hills? I liked that Rumple did the right thing in the end but it was too little too late for that marriage – and with Belle not coming back next season, surely a melancholy bittersweet parting of the ways would have been more appropriate for them? As it is, it feels very much like all these Happy Beginnings that have been gifted to everyone are going to be ripped out from under us with the departing characters. Its’ inevitable. I will be incredibly sad if Emma Swan is killed off to move the story forward. But I won’t be surprised. I’m not sure the writers gave us enough of a hook to pique our interest with the duplication of the original story at the end… the show felt very much done. I felt a sense of relief that it’s over. That I can finally stop thinking about and worrying about these characters. Before the finale, I was fully intending to keep watching – I like Colin O’Donoghue and the Character of Killian Jones so I am predisposed to continue…. But that ending, it made me feel a sense of ambivalence. I’m not sure I can be bothered re-investing without the guarantee of a decent return. If Emma was back, I would be back. No doubt. But with how I’m feeling at the moment, there will have to be some very interesting information released over the hiatus to get me back and they will have to tell us something, some crumbs, instead of this nonsensical evasive “wait and see” discourse.

#ouat stuff #ouat critical #anti-regina #anti-rumbelle

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 7 years

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Dear MCU AU Fest writer,

uh, obviously it took longer than it should’ve to put an actual letter here instead of a placeholder; sorry about that. :/ My letter is mostly the same as last year’s with a few changes, but especially considering it took me so long to post this, feel even more free to go with it if you’ve already had an idea that has absolutely nothing to do with any of the prompts I’ve mentioned.

Like last year’s letter, this one is long, but I promise it’s not long because I have really super specific ideas and I won’t be happy unless you follow them exactly. Not at all. Whatever you write, I’m grateful for it, I’m sure I’ll like it, and I want you to have fun with it. The tl;dr version of this letter is basically “prompts are just suggestions if you happen to like them, feel free to mix and match, please don’t write Loki as Just A Villain, if you hit a few of my general likes and avoid my general dislikes I’m sure I’ll love your fic”

Some general notes: I picked a bunch of different AU scenarios that interested me for one reason or another, and some of them ended up being paired with multiple ships or semi-randomly assigned to a particular ship. That’s because I care more about the prompts/scenarios than I do about the specific pairings—Thor & Loki gen is really my only MCU OTP (a literal broTP) and that relationship is very important to me, but beyond that I can enjoy seeing Loki paired with basically anyone in either a gen or romantic way as long as it makes sense in context. So, if one of the specific prompts or AU scenarios I listed interests you for a different ship, please feel free to mix and match—especially because I kind of ran out of the will to retype all the scenarios that interested me into each of my pairing requests, so in a lot of cases the pairing/AU combinations in my sign-up are almost totally random. Unless otherwise noted, these pairings and AU scenarios interest me in general, not just in the specific combinations listed, so basically, do what you want with them. This also goes for / vs & pairings—if I’ve asked for one and you’d rather write the other (i.e., you want to write Loki/Steve, or Loki & Darcy gen), go right ahead. The only real exception here is Thor/Loki, which I don’t want unless they were not raised as brothers. Incest/pseudo-incest squicks me out, sorry.

A note about Loki: I’m sure you’ve noticed that all these pairings and many of the AU scenarios include Loki. He’s one of my absolute favorite characters and I care more about him than I do anyone else in the MCU, and I also care a lot about his relationship with Thor. As you can probably tell from the Loki fics I’ve written and my Loki tag, I only read/write Loki fics with redemption arcs and/or sympathetic interpretations (until proven otherwise, I will believe that Thanos at least coerced him into attacking Earth, for instance), so if you absolutely hate the idea of writing Loki as anything but a straightforward villain…you should probably ask to be reassigned. This should be fun for both of us!

General stuff I like: I love Loki whump so feel free to beat him up to your heart’s content, physically and emotionally; however, I also need an ultimately happy/hopeful ending (make the characters work really hard for their happy ending! But give them one). But seriously, hurt/comfort is my jam. Thor & Loki’s relationship is very important and that should be reflected regardless of focus pairing, even if it’s just in a background way; family reconciliation is especially good. I’m asexual so an ace Loki (or ace anyone, honestly) could be cool. Genderfluid Loki is also interesting. Dealing with Loki’s depression and internalized racism would be awesome. Frigga is HBIC and I like AUs where she isn’t fridged for manpain. In general, ladies are great and MCU ladies are super great, so no matter the relationship you write, please involve some awesome ladies (this post is a good guideline), and please don’t erase anybody (for instance, if you pick Steve/Loki, Peggy is still very important). Other things: Characters working toward healthy relationships (romantic/sexual or gen). Angst. Family stuff (characters dealing with the fallout of coming from fucked-up families are great; found families are great, especially when combined with the former; traditional families are great, especially sibling relationships). Self-sacrifice, but without actual permanent character death (my go-to example here is Harry in Deathly Hallows—he went knowingly to his death and was absolutely certain he was going to die but didn’t actually die for plot reasons). Loki figuring out his own ways to be good/worthy (I like Loki being able to lift Mjolnir, but I also like Loki realizing he doesn’t have to be able to lift Mjolnir). Characters saving and taking care of each other, in their own ways, not just one saving the other. Steve being progressive, because he doesn’t like bullies, dammit. Also a really specific, silly thing I’d love to see: I love the McElroy brothers and if you happen to love them too, I would be super tickled to see somebody take their sibling dynamic and use it to inform Thor and Loki’s. Somehow. (I said it was silly.)

General stuff I don’t like: Incest or pseudo-incest (specifically, Thor/Loki unless it’s an AU where they weren’t raised as brothers; I’d be a lot more okay with, say, Gamora/Nebula, because their situation was weird to begin with and they never had reason to believe they were related). Abuse, dubcon, non-con, general unresolved fucked-upness in the primary supposed-to-be-healthy relationship (so, for instance, if the story involved Loki being tortured and/or raped during captivity with Thanos, I’d be okay with that, but not with unaddressed consent issues going either way in a Steve/Loki situation). PWP. I wouldn’t say explicit sex in general is a squick but I’m ace and I just really, really do not care about those scenes, so like…don’t waste your time? I’m totally fine with characters being sexual and having sex, especially if the focus of a sex scene is on emotion, I just have no interest in porn or in the specifics of anyone’s genitals. Major character death (temporary death of major characters is fine; characters dealing with a death that happened in canon is fine, although I also like fix-its; ancillary character death is probably okay). Unhappy endings in general. Infidelity (if you want to write a ship that involves breaking up a canon pairing, like Jane/Loki, just treat everyone fairly).

If you have specific questions that I somehow didn’t address, @erlkonigstochter would be a good person to ask because she’s had to put up with a lot of my Loki rambling and has a pretty good idea of the kinds of things I would and wouldn’t like.

General notes on some pairings/scenarios:

Loki wins in The Avengers: As I’ve emphasized, I’m convinced Loki was coerced (to one degree or another) into leading the invasion, so by “Loki wins” I pretty much mean “the invasion is successful and things get terrible in probably apocalyptic fashion for everyone, including Loki the second Thanos no longer finds him useful as a puppet, which is likely to happen pretty quickly”. I listed this under Loki & Gamora because I could see them working together to defeat Thanos once Loki’s been put back in captivity or whatever, but this general premise could work with any of my pairings, probably in a general “post-apocalyptic survival” and/or “character(s) taken prisoner” context.

Time loop/Groundhog Day: I don’t have any specific ideas for this; I just think it’s an interesting fic concept that could work with any pairing. Something kind of like BigSciencyBrain’s Refuge series but with an ultimately happy ending would be cool. Also, I mean, I will never say no to something that involves Loki being forced to suffer through dying over and over again.

Pacific Rim: I’m mainly just interested in this if Thor and Loki are drift compatible but Loki doesn’t really want to do it because he’s afraid Thor will see Too Much. This one might work better less as an actual crossover and more as transplanting the basic drift-compatible idea into something that makes sense in the context of the MCU, but that’s totally up to you.

Prisoner(s) of evil SHIELD: could be actual legit SHIELD, could be HYDRA within/masquerading as SHIELD, some other organization pretending to be SHIELD, whatever makes the most sense

Wanda & Loki: I kind of think canonically the Maximoffs weren’t completely willing or informed participants—like, they were angry and desperate and probably didn’t know about HYDRA’s involvement, because come on—so you could go with that or make them even more unwilling. Combining this with Loki as a test subject/prisoner of HYDRA (being used along with or instead of the scepter to unlock the Maximoffs’ powers?) could be cool, and/or with Wanda (in any context) getting visions or something of Loki’s time in the void as a side effect of having the scepter used on her. So, something with them teaming up to escape HYDRA might be fun. Also, please feel free to bring back stuff about the Maximoffs’ Jewish/Romani heritage (maybe not Magneto specifically because the various Marvel franchises aren’t necessarily compatible, but otherwise), because fuck whitewashing.

Specific prompt ideas (again, really feel free to disregard, modify, mix components, etc. if you have other ideas; these are just suggestions of a few ways these scenarios could go, so like if you have a “Loki fell to Earth” idea that has nothing to do with what’s listed here, that is totally fine, please go with whatever interests you the most; if you would prefer you can ignore this entire long-ass section—or, hell, tuck one of these prompts away for your own use at some point, although in that case I’d still be interested in seeing what you wrote):

Role reversal: I got interested in this idea in the context of Thor & Loki after seeing this picture (my commentary is in the tags); this fic expands on it in a really interesting way

Thor fell with Loki: I like Lady Charity’s ideas about this, as well as Lizardbeth’s.

Aether infected different character/worked differently: A couple different ideas here. Jane could learn to control aether and keep it, either temporarily or permanently, because she deserved better than being a damsel in distress for the bulk of TDW. Probably this would involve Loki’s help, because magic but also because if you add on the idea that Loki was under some form of compulsion from the scepter and/or tesseract in Avengers but managed to sabotage his own invasion anyway, that means he already has a bit of experience working with and subverting Infinity Gems. Different idea: Loki was infected and sickened by the aether instead, and kidnapped by Malekith to be used somehow. Lady Charity also started a fic with this premise a couple years ago and it was great.

Portal fusion: Alternate universes are marginal Portal canon (so is time travel, I guess?), so this could take place at practically any point in MCU or Portal canon and drastically change things. Mostly what I’d love to see is Loki, at some point in his timeline (having him fall to Earth near Aperature Laboratories would make sense, but really it could be made to work at any point), being used as an Aperture test subject, facing off against GLaDOS, and teaming up with a human test subject (maybe Chell, or Steve, Jane, Wanda, Darcy) to escape, thereby learning that at least some humans are much more worthy of respect than he thinks. The potential for snark-offs between GLaDOS and Loki would be amazing, but also she would probably have a lot of nasty things to say about him being adopted, and that could be great too. However Loki ends up at Aperture, his magic would probably be bound/crippled but he’d still be very durable, so he would have an easier time surviving than many of the other test subjects, and GLaDOS and/or actual Aperture scientists would be pretty interested in him.

Loki fell to Earth (or a different scenario, whatever works): There are loads of fics where Loki is on Earth after Thor (or even one of the other movies) and not doing any harm but is terrified of Thor hunting him down to drag him back to Asgard or even kill him, because obviously Thor hates him for being a Jotun if for no other reason, and of course when Thor does find him there’s a lot more “oh my god you’re okay, I mean also what the hell Loki but oh my god you’re okay, let me hug you” than actual fighting. I like these and I’ve written these. What if it did turn out the way Loki expects, with Thor crashing in to subdue him—but still in a way where Thor isn’t actually the bad guy? Heimdall or Odin probably would have to be malicious to make this work (even if it’s for theoretically good reasons, like “sure Loki’s not doing any harm right now, but he’s clearly dangerous and we need to get him back for everyone’s safety and Asgard’s general security, and Thor won’t go along with that unless he’s convinced Loki really is dangerous”), because Thor’s learned enough that he probably wouldn’t just charge in rather than talking to Loki first unless he was sure that trying to talk to Loki would just put people in danger. For his part, Loki wouldn’t want to be taken prisoner but also could be worried about collateral damage (might have ended up in some situation where he’s explicitly the protector of a group of people, which Heimdall/Odin interprets—accidentally or deliberately—as him having them under thrall, and it would especially look like that if anybody tries to defend Loki), so he would fight back probably a lot like a scared, cornered animal, giving Thor more reason to think he’s up to no good and to get even more serious about defeating him.

Frigga lives / Frigga ruled during Odinsleep: In general I will always be happy if Frigga lives, but a specific AU might be for Odin to get killed in the Dark Elves’ attack instead of Frigga, at which point she takes the throne because yeah no Thor still isn’t ready to rule. Having her rule during the Odinsleep in the first movie rather than Loki could similarly create massive changes.

Loki banished with/instead of Thor: one possible approach is based on a Norsekink prompt. Odin figures out that Loki’s to blame for the whole mess but doesn’t stop to wonder why he did it and banishes Loki instead, maybe without a built-in way of getting home like Thor had. He’s stuck on Earth, mortal, terrified, blocked from his magic, but Jane & co. take him in and he starts figuring out some cool stuff about the intersection of science and magic, probably. His knowledge dramatically accelerates Jane’s project, catching the attention of SHIELD or some even less-friendly organization, and they’re all forced to do dangerous work with the tesseract or something similar. In general, I’d be down for any variation of “Loki being banished leads to bad stuff happening to him,” because if he’s mortal and his magic is gone, that means he’s lost a lot of what he always used to protect himself (still pretty strong for a human, maybe, but not like Thor, who is still unusually strong as a mortal), and enemies—of Asgard or of Loki specifically, or people from SHIELD/HYDRA when they learn about his Tesseract knowledge—could take advantage of his relative weakness to capture him and make him do what they want (like dangerous, damaging stuff with the Tesseract). This general concept could also work well with Loki & Steve. Loki and Thor being banished together would also be cool. Awkward road trip time!

Trip to Jotunheim went differently: One possibility is this prompt I posted on Tumblr

Fairy tale: This picture is not actually of Loki but it sure looks like it, and it made me want an “East of the Sun, West of the Moon” retelling with Loki as the monster. I mean, he comes from a cold place, he has another form he considers monstrous, it’s perfect. This could be in the context of him growing up on Jotunheim, hiding on Jotunheim after any of the movies instead of what he canonically did, learning of his adoption earlier and going into hiding, or something else. It would also work with any of the pairings I listed.

Fury Road fusion: Could be the general premise of the movie transplanted into an MCU context, could be MCU characters transplanted into Mad Max (or similar) context, could be an AU that turns the MCU into a context like the Mad Max world or puts the characters on a planet where things already are that way. In any case, Thanos could easily take Immortan Joe’s role, with Gamora in a Furiosa-like role (or Natasha or Sif, although the canonical context of Gamora’s relationship with Thanos is closer already), maybe Nebula as Nux, and Loki as…I dunno, sort of some combination of Max and the wives maybe (in addition to other characters). This could be done with any of my listed pairings.

Avenger Loki: Honestly this is one of my favorite things, regardless of when or how it happens.

Thor fell instead of Loki: I nominated this because it occurred to me that it could be a really interesting concept, especially because Loki would be forced to deal with things in a very different way than in canon, and because he could end up going after Thor, either trying to find him in the Void or having to stop him once Thanos sends Thor to fetch the Tesseract. Guilt-stricken Loki frantic to fix something that was never supposed to happen could be very, very fun. Not fun for Loki or Thor, obviously, but. You know.

#MCU AU fest #author letters #dear author letters #I don't remember which tag I used

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