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dduane · 8 months

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Do you have any recommendations on what to do when you can’t write?

I’ve been struggling to write for years, but telling stories is all I want to do. I have ideas and plots and characters all figured out! But actually getting the words onto paper? I just can’t do it. There’s a mental block or something getting in the way.

I want to write, I so badly do. I want to tell my stories! But no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I love the story, the words never work properly. I can day dream scenes up perfectly, but as soon as I’m near paper the words all vanish.

I guess what I’m actually asking is: how did you defeat the blank page?

Well, first of all, I can confidently tell you that your storytelling per se is working just fine. You just told me a perfectly cogent story right there, in writing. So that's good to know.

Now let me put your mind a little at rest by telling you something reassuring about the Writer's Brain:

It's not the sharpest knife in the block, if you take my meaning. It can be tricked. It can be fooled. It can be bamboozled into working when it doesn't want to... sometimes with embarrassing ease. (And this approach is, by and large, far preferable to sitting around over-analyzing one's interior life to figure out what went wrong with your developmental process somewhere in the dim lost past. Just hornswoggle the silly thing into working and then do the analysis later, if you can be bothered.)

Sometimes just changing something basic in the process the Writer's Brain is expecting is enough to make it lose the plot (so to speak...) and let you get on with work. And in your case I'd say, more or less immediately: Have you tried telling the story to yourself out loud, recording it, and then transcribing the recording?

Because this problem is a commonplace among storytellers. Sit them down in the pub and give them tea or a drink and start them going, and you'll get half an effortless hour of hilarious prose about What The Cat Did In The Middle Of The Night or When The Neighbors Were Fighting In The Street Again Yesterday. But show them blank paper, or an empty screen, and (now that the pressure to perform is suddenly in place) they freeze.

So try doing an end run around your writing brain. Borrow or otherwise procure a little recorder of some kind. (Or if you've got a smartphone, add a voice recording app to it.) Go get comfortable somewhere and get yourself into that daydream state, and then—making sure the recorder's on—start talking.

It doesn't have to be perfect unblemished prose. The pursuit of that comes later, after draft zero-minus-one. Just tell the story... or some of it. Or a fragment of it. Even a few paragraphs is a triumph, in a situation like this. You may, during the recording, have to talk yourself into the story stage by starting out talking about something else first. Let that happen.

Then when you're done recording, listen to it and transcribe it (typed or handwritten, as you please).

And maybe a day later, do this again. And a day or two later, once more. And so forth.

You're going to have to keep at this, because your Writer's Brain may start suspecting what you're up to, and try throwing spanners into the works. (Its favorite being "Oh, this isn't working, I may as well give up..." Pay no attention to that nagging little voice behind the curtain. Just keep doing what you're doing. Persistence is a superpower.)

The thing to keep reminding yourself, as you settle into this process, is that sooner or later the WB's resistance is going to flag, because you really do want to tell stories. It does too. What you have to teach it is that—to coin a phrase—resistance is useless. :)

Anyway: give this a try. You'll need to be doing this daily for at least a couple of months to find out whether it works or not. So let me know how it goes.

(BTW: once you've broken through the barrier, you may well find that dictation is a good routine way for you to generate your first draft. At that point—should you feel inclined to go a little higher-tech than recording and hand transcription—let me recommend Dragon Anywhere. This is a month-to-month subscription version of Dragon's flagship text to speech program—the one @petermorwood and I got Terry Pratchett to use when he started having difficulty typing. I use Anywhere a lot, on days when it's easier to write stretched out or lying down than it is sitting up. It transcribes what you say, and then you can just email it to yourself and cut-and-paste it into your writing document. Very handy.)

Hope this helps!

#writing #writing advice #the Writer's Brain #storytelling

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hughesyodaddy43 · 1 month

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you're gonna be okay ⎸ J.H

Jack Hughes x Reader synopsis : when Jack loses a big game, he comes over to seek support from his favourite person. word count: 1.5k warnings: sad jack, fluff, angst? Authors note: I have more fanfics coming soon, i have a range of them pre -planned with covers and titles and I read everyones request so if i don't get to yours then it's because i already have a story planned for that player or request. I hope you like this one :)

I slumped down on my bed, easily immersing myself in the world of fiction, every now and then munching on the bowl of popcorn I had sitting beside me. Jack was playing for team USA tonight so I was waiting patiently for him to message me that the game ended so we could call or hang out. Something about these big games excited me, not for the sport but for the post game interviews.

It was nice to watch the interviews and read through the comments as if you couldn't just ask Jack the same questions yourself and actually get real and honest answers.

You didn't know the final score yet so you went on youtube to see if a post game interview was up and you were met with the prettiest blue puppy dog eyes you've ever seen, but you knew jack and this was definitely not gonna be a happy interview. You click on the video and are met with a saddened Jack on the verge of tears, your heart aches for him as you listen to his answers; you were mad that they would interview a 17year old on the verge of tears and still ask the most idiotic questions.

I only made it about 5 minutes into the video before I got a message on my phone.

Jack 💘: I’m outside.

Okay, coming down now.

I walk down towards the front door and see a dishevelled jack peering back at me.

“Hi. Can I come in?” The young hockey player asks while twirling with his fingers.

“Of course” I answer, slightly smiling at him as I move my body so he can slip past me.

He walks through my doorway and up towards my room, I trail behind him closely up until he reaches my bed and slumps down on it , exhaustion evident on his face as he looks up at me standing in the doorway. “Are you okay?” I asked quietly, not wanting to make him feel worse, though judging by the way his lip quivered and his head shook, I'm not sure that was the right decision.

“We lost” he says just above a whisper

“Hm?” I walked closer to him and sat beside him, reaching over to hold his hand that he was fiddling with in his lap. “We lost the game, we lost everything” he states, audible this time.

“Oh. well it’s okay-” "NO ITS NOT OKAY” Jack yells, standing up and turning to face me, running his hands through his freshly washed hair. “It's not okay, I let my team down, I let my parents down, I've let everyone down and I'm so tired” he rants on, quieting down towards the end.

“Hey, hey . It is okay, alright? Just because you've lost this game, doesn't mean you've lost everything"

"yes it does, you have no idea what it's like to lose something like this. You don't have to worry about making sure you end up drafted. You'll never know.” ' Jack replies quickly, raising his voice once again

“you havent lost everything,i know it feels like it and i know you’re upset. But please don’t start yelling at me when I'm just trying to help you.'' He looks at me after I say this, tears filling up his eyes.

“You’re right, im sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, I'm just so angry at myself, I could've played better , we could've won but I let everyone down." I stand up and walk in front of him

“Hockey is a team sport, Jack. One loss isn't your fault, besides all hockey players lose big games, even the best of the best.” Jack doesn't reply, instead he just nods his head and wipes a falling tear from his cheek.

“You’re an amazing player Jack, anyone can see that. You played well, and so did everyone else. Losses happen, it wouldn't be competitive if nobody lost.” He nods again, looking down at the ground.

I sigh before continuing “why don't we just lay down and watch a movie?hm?” i ask

The boy sniffles before nodding, replying with a light yeah as he makes his way back over to my bed. He sits against the headboard and watches me as I sit down and open my laptop. Stupidly i forgot to close the youtube tab i had opened from his interview and there it was, my boys said face displayed on my computer. I look over at Jack, he stares at the screen then back at me.

“Sorry, i usually watch your post game interviews” i apologise.``its okay, i think its cute you watch my interviews” he smiles lightly at me, his beautiful smile that i didnt think i'd see tonight was there on display “what can i say? You're just too hard to resist” I joke, gaining a light chuckle from the boy before fixing my eyes back to the screen so we can pick something to watch.

“Do you really think everything will be okay?” Jack asks in a mumble. “Mhm, you're gonna be okay” Jack leans up to face me “i'm gonna be okay” he repeats “you’re gonna be okay” i reply before he leans in and presses his soft lips on mine, we pull away and jack returns to his previous position, snuggling his face into my neck. “Goodnight, Jack. Love you” i say softly “mm night, love you too y/nn” jack replies before swiftly drifting off to a much needed sleep.

I wrap my arms around Jack in a warm embrace, sinking down into the pillows and pulling the blanket up higher. Light snores are audible from the boy as he leans into my touch, even when he's sleeping, he still manages to tighten his arms around me, lightly rubbing circles on my skin from where my shirt rolled up. I play with his hair while allowing my eyes to grow heavy and fall into a peaceful slumber. Comfortable with the outcome of this otherwise devastating night

#nhl hockey #jack hughes #fluff #nhl imagine #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes x y/n

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yzashaven · 8 months

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HI HI HI MAY I REQUEST THAT U WRITE MENTALLY ILL USER X SCARA DOCTOR:33 LIKE USER IS OBSESSED WITH HIM AND HE FINDS IT ADORABLE!

FEATURING ! doctor!scaramouche x mentally ill!fem!reader

CONTENTS ! reader admitted in a psychiatric hospital, attached reader, reader wears hospital gown, cunnilingus, fingering, use of darling/dear, clit and nipple stimulation, teasing, orgasm denial, neck biting

NOTE ! first of all, I'M SO SO SORRY that this took so long 😭 i loved your request and had a few ideas but couldn't find a way to write it so i had like 5 drafts for this in my notes app lmao anyway, i do hope this turned out alright and you still enjoy it even if it's really messy and is honestly a hard read for me. i'll probably redo this in the future !

a psychiatric hospital. the place where you've been spending most of your days lately. you can't remember why or when exactly you got brought here but that doesn't really matter. and now you're sitting on the edge of your bed, lost in thought as you stare at the man sitting ahead of you, doctor scaramouche. he's been responsible for treating you since the start and seems to be quite fond of you. "hey... are you listening?" your train of thought ends as you hear the sound of fingers snapping right in front of your face. apologizing briefly to him, "you have to listen carefully." he shakes his head before writing something down on a clipboard. "now... where were weㅡ" he's so charming that you can't look anywhere else, looking at him with love in your eyes. "how have you been feeling? i haven't recorded any odd or weird activity from you recently... and that's a good thing, surely you'll be out of here in no time." he smiles gently at you. no way he just said that! you didn't wanna leave and go somewhere he wasn't at.

"do i have to leave?" you asked him sadly, despite knowing the answer already. "of course you have to, darling." oh the way he'd call you by petnames never failed to make your heart race, even the sound of his voice that makes your cheeks blush cherry red. "but i don't want to! i wanna stay here with you." your words caught him off guard, earning a dark chuckle from the man. "and why is that?" "because i like you, you're here..." your face drops, looking down at the floor as reality hits you. he chuckles some more, leaving the clipboard on the bedside table nearby before making his way closer to you. scaramouche's fingers make their way under your chin to lift your face up, resulting in having eye contact between you both. "you wanna stay with me?" he says while seemingly laughing slightly, sharp eyes piercing through yours as he looks down at you. "don't be so obsessive and attached. it's time for you to go home." "scara, no... my home is where you're at~" you're practically pleading at him now to let you stay. "it's doctor scaramouche to you, darling."

"but i do think that i'll grant you permission for informalities with me." he smiles at you gently. "now... how about i give you something to remember me by, would you like that?" his fingers leave your face to step back a bit and discard his white coat as he speaks in a slightly stern yet soft tone. "come on now, get comfortable. i'll make sure you have a good time." your cheeks flush a light red as he smirks at you. making your way to the middle of the bed and sitting down comfortably as you watch him place the coat down on the chair, his slightly tight undershirt accentuating the body features on his torso.

he takes your chin in between his fingers once more before lowering himself down to eye-level and indulging you in a soft kiss, pushing you down on the bed in the process. his hand find its way along your cheek, collarbone and down to your thighs, fingers slipping under the silk white hospital gown with featherlight touches. scaramouche kneels down beside the bed and in front of you on the floor, pulling you closer by the thighs, his face only mere inches away from your heating core. "just enjoy the ride and let me do all the work, alright, darling?" he whispers seductively, constantly rubbing your inner thigh delicately, to which you let out a nearly inaudible whimper while nodding obediently.

with you watching him intently, he finally pushes away the fabric of the gown out of the way and up to your hips, granting access to your nearly soaked panties. he begins by spreading your thighs gently before teasing your slit over the cloth with a finger, dragging along the area. as you let out a soft sigh, he took it as a sign to keep going, leaning in to plant soft kisses on your clit. pulling the garments aside to reveal your glistening hole, he looks up at you with a sly smirk and teases your cunt by adding a finger and softly kisses your clit again. your fingers hurry to pull on his indigo locks in an attempt to pull him even closer. chuckling darkly, he adds another finger, two digits slowly thrusting in and out of your drenched pussy as his tongue skillfully dances with your clit, sending shiver up your spine.

as his tongue continues to stimulate your sensitive bud, his hands make their way up to fully remove the white hospital gown from your body. delicate touches against your soft skin that leave goosebumps at where they made contact. scaramouche gets up from his knees to take into sight of your helpless form on the bed; hair slightly scattered on the sheets, eyes looking at him with desperateness, body exposed to be completely at his mercy. with a long sigh in pleasure his hands went up to grope at your chest from beneath the bra before ripping it off eventually. fingers crawling back inside your tight hole while his lips attach to your nipple, lightly nibbling on the perked up area along with licking and sucking on it every now and then, sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout your body.

maintaining eye contact with you, his starts to rub your clit in slow circular motions, smiling as he watches your face contort to one of pleasure and pure ecstacy. eyeing your neck for a second, scaramouche then kisses your neck trying to find your so called sweet spot. smirking against your skin upon hearing you moan as a confirmation of finding the said area, to which he bites on it, causing your body to jolt slightly with a rather loud moan. slowly lapping at the teeth marks left as his digits pick up a faster pace. feeling your climax upcoming, you tell him so, ready to finally be able to cum on his fingers and coat them in your essence. yet he doesn't allow you to, curling them at an angle one last time, only to pull apart sooner later. moving back to observe your figure once more.

although no matter how much you kept begging for him to continue, he didn't. instead he began to get rid of his own clothes, claiming they were 'in the way of the real fun'. showing off his pretty erected cock as he pulled down his pants, stroking it slowly before pulling you closer once again. teasing your tight hole by lightly slapping his length on you and rubbing his tip along your soaking entrance. leaning in only to whisper a few words that sent you in an exhilarated state.

"i hope you're ready for me. 'cause we most definitely are not stopping."

#☾★ written »#☾★ kuni »#scaramouche smut #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x y/n #genshin smut #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #fem!reader

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jlepixie · 9 months

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Can u do a fake hickey prank with bill or Tom ?

oh my lord! I love that idea, thank you for requesting it. and sorry for the taking so long to post it, it was sitting in my drafts for some time now. I hope you like it.

╰ ୨ Bill - fake hickey prank ୧ ╯

༶⋆˙⊹｡⋆ʚ♡⃛ɞ ✩ ˛˚.

you and Bill loved pranking each other, it made your relationship more lively, and hearing his laugh every time, it was feeling like a blessing, and he could say the same. this time you wanted it to be a little different, you really needed to get back at him for the last prank, and you decided that your silly idea involving make up would be perfect. at first his eyes widened when he saw you just passing by him so relaxed. you were trying to hold into your laugh when you saw him getting closer to you "where were you today?" Bill said with a confused look on his face. you smiled at him "just hung out with Tom, listened some music" his eyes were so big now, he couldn't believe it, his emotions run fast from shock to anger "did something else happened, did he touched you?" fake-surprised, you gasp, “what? no. why would you say that". pointing at your neck Bill said maintaining his anger down "if he gave you that hickey I will deal with him myself" you could see the actual worry in his voice, he was more scared to loose you, especially to his brother, than anything else. you could feel the goosebump so you dropped your acting "oh billy, my sweet love" you got your hands to cup his cheeks and look into his eyes "I'm sorry, it was just a silly prank, Tom didn't did anything to me" you took a small breath "it is just make up, look" you said while wiping clean the fake hickey. Bill's face started relaxing "no wonder it looked like that" he left out a small chuckle " I knew he was bad, but not that bad" you started getting embarrassed and pouting looking away "anyways, if you wanted hickeys that bad, you could just ask me" Bill started getting closer to you and grabbing your waist to close the distance "I could give you lost of them" you didn't mind at all what your silly prank turned into, so you smiled and let him do his job.

╰ ୨ Tom - fake hickey prank ୧ ╯

༶⋆˙⊹｡⋆ʚ♡⃛ɞ ✩ ˛˚.

the only word that could describe you right now was stupid. oh but you were so stupid to think that Tom would not know about such a common prank. he saw that you were oblivious to his knowledge so he decided to play along. "I didn't know I bit you that hard last time" he chuckles and points at it "sorry about that, would try to bite into a non visible place" he winked at you. this was when it hit you, he knows, but you still wanted a reaction from him. so acting dumb was the best choice in your opinion "I have no idea what you talking about" he laughs, getting closer to you, Tom takes your face into his hands "you are so cute, but you are not fulling anyone with it" he gets one of his hands off your cheek, searching something in his pocket. Tom gets out his phone and without a warning takes a quick photo of your neck "would this help you remember" you feel the blood getting fast to your face, it was such a bad picture of you, the angle made it look so funny "delete it, right now" you can hear him chuckle "in that case" Tom brushes your neck with his thumb, right where you took time to get almost perfect the hickey "you should clean this up and let me show you how a real hickey looks like" he winks at you, grabbing the back of your neck to make space to get his head down brushing his teeth into your skin.

tags: @dilfverz ( ─ if you want to be tagged in the next post let me know, make sure to say the fandom as well)

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paxaz535 · 25 days

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okay this is something i wrote on my wattpad , nothing too serious.

Lethal Basketball Mom

Paige x Black!FemReader

____

______

you walked into the stadium, this would be your first time going against UConn with this team. you also felt like this would be your last time playing with this team as well.

the school wasn't bad, not at all. the coach? a totally different story. she's just overall a bad person. she would always push you too hard, even when you begged her to stop.

"I don't care! Keep running, Katz!"

"But coach! i've been doing suicides for the last 15-"

"I don't care! say something else and i'll add on another 10!"

you were getting sick of her obvious favoritism towards the rest of the team. she knew you were the best, that's why she pushed you so hard. her daughter was number one before you came, and when you did, her and the coach got upset about that.

so you always had to suffer.

you and your team were warming up, UConn players on the opposite side. they were good, great even. you thought this was going to be tuff sensing the fact that you'll be carrying your team the whole time.

you couldn't help but take a longer glance towards the paige bueckers. she was a sight to see, she had in her signature two braids into a ponytail.

you took a quick glance at every one else, that team looked like the best ever. they were laughing and just looked like they were having a good time.

you were still grateful, but you told your parents plenty of times you did not want to be on this team. they didn't listen because they went to this college and so they want you to follow their footsteps, although it's not about them, it's about you.

"Y/n! go get the water bottles from out the locker room!" you looked at her with a crazed look. "that's not my job, coach. Ms. Sasha is right there." you told her, trying to stay respectful as possible.

she crossed her arms, you just sighed and went to get the bottles. you didn't notice but a pair of eyes followed you.

(heads up, it wasn't paige 🤫)

when you came back it was time to actually start the game. you were excited, nervous and kind of scared.

"alright ladies, it's time to show up and show out. we all know how amazing UConn is but we got this. y/n, don't try to out shine anyone, especially my baby. let's go!"

the starting 10 players got into the floor, you and nika were doing jump ball, the ref threw it up and luckily you smacked it over to one of your teammates.

they knew to pass it right back to you, so you had the ball and dribbled it and made the shot.

"Y/N KATZ!!"

as paige started coming towards your side of the court, you were ready to guard her. she was a tough one to guard, but you didn't give up. she got passed you and passed the ball towards azzi and azzi made that perfect three.

"THREEEEE AZZIIIIII FUDDD!!"

you sighed but gained focus again once the coach's daughter, Angelica, passed the ball towards you. too hard. you almost lost control of the ball, you quickly looked at her but made your way down the court.

you passed it to your teammate who made an opening and shot an 3. you patted her on the back and ran back to your side of the court.

1stQ, H: 22, I: 21

2Q, H: 50, I: 51

it was now half time and you were up by one point. were you excited? yes but you couldn't get too happy. the huskies will make a comeback, that's what they're known for.

you were drinking from your water bottle and notice that coach, ms sasha, and angelica was missing. you walked out the locker room but noticed three bodies standing in the hallway. you backed up, eavesdropping.

"do you guys think this is a good idea? i mean having a great player should be a good thing." ms sasha asked, you can hear coach scoff.

"hell no, she's not gonna ruin my baby chances of getting drafted in a few years. we need her out." your heart dropped, they were talking about you.

"i agree, ms sasha. she needs to be gone, she's gonna ruin things for me. so ma, what's the plan?" angelica asked. plan?

"you're gonna injure her. make it hurt but don't make it noticeable that you're injuring her." your mouth dropped, what the actual fuck?

"try and trip her but make it look accidental. rough her up, you know?" coach told angelica. angelica smiled, "bet."

how could they do this? you were such an innocent person, you didn't deserve what was coming for you.

"ladies, let's talk about this-" "no, sasha. this is final. now, let's go before someone notices we're gone."

you quickly backed away, now you were scared. you couldn't tell anyone, so it's like you have to let yourself get injured. you just took deep breaths. half time was almost over.

"alrighttt, we're back and ready to play these last 20 minutes of the game."

everyone walked back out and got back into their places. the ref blew the whistle and the game started. a teammate passed the ball to you, you were quick to dribble and get to your side to shoot but angelica ran into you.

you fell, "oh shit, my bad." she lied, then proceeded to help you up. the ball went out of bounds to it was on the huskies. you could feel your ankle starting to hurt but you just ignored it.

the huskies got a three which made their team get to 53, you still at 51. it was your ball so you passed it to a teammate, ran up by them and got the ball back. you made the three and got the points.

you felt a smack on your butt, knowing it was a teammate. as you were running towards the other side, you felt a push on your back. it wasn't so friendly, you turned around wondering who did that just to see angelica.

you looked at her confused, she just ignored you and focused on the game. the fuck?

you shook it off, not wanting to cause a problem on the court with an off-court situation. you continued on playing, you already know what angelica plan was, you tried your best not to let it get to you.

nika made a shot and got them two points.

55-54

one of your teammates had the ball, and you were open. but angelica were also open, so she didn't know who to pass it to. you kept telling her to pass it to you but she was still confused.

it was taking up our shot time, before the shot time could hit 10, angelica shoved me which made her the only option to pass it to. you fell to the ground with a hard thump.

"Ow.." you held your arm in pain. you fell on it the wrong way, the ref blew the whistle. when a teammate helped you up, you quickly shot a glare towards angelica.

she put her hands up in surrender, a small smirk on her face. you were about to say something but one of your teammates beat you to it.

"we cannot kept wasting time y'all, get it together. angelica and y/n, start communicating more. let's go." you all patted each other on the back, getting back into position.

you glared at her one more time before playing these last two minutes of the third quarter.

3Q, H: 62 I: 59

it was the last quarter, this could go either way. you were nervous, annoyed and exhausted. you've been playing the whole 40 minutes and half of the time was getting pushed around by your own teammate.

the ball was in UConn possession, Kk was running towards the hoop but you stole the ball, it was an easy point since half the girls was still on the opposite side.

62-61

paige passed the ball towards nika, nika running up the court and passed the ball to aubrey. aubrey looked to see who she could pass it to, azzi was trying to get open but you were guarding her.

aubrey managed to pass it to azzi and azzi made an open 3. you cursed to yourself and got the ball passed towards you.

65-61

7:15

seven minutes left, you thought. you could easily catch up, and if you couldn't, you could at least tie with them.

68-66

5:10

fuck.. this is getting too intense. everyone was out of their seats, waiting to see what happens. your heart starting beating faster and faster.

you ran as fast as you could, seeing that Kk was about to make a shot but you managed to block it. the Idaho part of the crowd went wild and was cheering you on. you successfully made the shot.

68-68

2:09

you were tied, that was your goal. now it's time to get ahead. you passed the ball to a teammate but she didn't catch it, making paige quickly take it and make a three.

70-68

1:59

angelica managed to get the ball and started running down the court. you were close to the hoop so you opened up so she could pass you the ball.

1:30

"me! i'm open!" you yelled, she purposely ignored you and passed it to one of your other teammates who wasn't even open. luckily, she got it the ball and made two points.

you shook your head, are you really that dumb, angelica?

70-70

56.9 seconds

the ball was obviously in UConn's possession and they managed to get across you, fast. paige passed it to aubrey, aubrey going in for the three.

73-70

20.1 seconds

you had the ball now, quickly dribbling and doing good foot work. you managed to get pass azzi and pass the ball to a teammate. you ran to get an opening.

10 seconds

you felt angelica run behind you and bumped you a bit, you ignored it. you literally have ten seconds left on the clock, you did not have the time.

sadly, paige stole the ball from your teammate and managed to make another three.

0.0 seconds

final: 76-70

You walked away, defeated. as you were walking, you angrily grabbed your water bottle, walking into the main/front area of the stadium. your ankle started swelling up, you were playing on it so much.

"damn." you checked it out to see it getting bigger. you then heard footsteps behind you. "why'd you walk off like that? it's your fault we lost!" angelica yelled, her mom right by her side.

what?

you quickly turned around, a crazed look on. "I'M the reason we lost? Angelica, you literally sabotaged me the whole second half! my ankle is bruising!" you yelled, tired of their bullshit. you can see coach quickly step up, "don't yell at her like that! she isn't lying you know. you should've been more careful and communicated more!" she started to yell as well.

you were getting emotional. you heard more footsteps come towards you three but you didn't check to look who is was, too busy looking at coach. you sighed, "you cannot be serious right now, coach!"

"i'm serious as can be, you made us look embarrassing out there, i thought I taught you better!" she was flying her hands all around, angelica nodding along to what her mom was saying.

"taught me better!? don't act like I didn't hear what you guys were talking about in the locker room!" you called them out, you can see Angelica eyes go wide but quickly went back to normal.

"we have no idea what you're talking about." angelica spoke, coach nodding along. you chuckled audibly, "oh so, 'you're gonna injure her. make it hurt but don't make it noticeable.' just doesn't exist? does that ring a bell? huh!? you guys purposely did this to me. now my ankles completely fucked up and I-"

"watch your mouth around me, young one. don't forget who you're playing for." she sternly spoke, angelica just smirking. you looked at them two, hurt, anger, sadness all in one look.

you shook your head and sat back down in your chair, your ankle cramping up again. "you know what? i'm done. i'm tired of being treated like this, ive put up with enough. good luck finding a better player than me because I quit!" you yelled, tears pouring down your face.

coach glared at you with the meanest glare she could probably ever muster. "go ahead. we don't need you anyways. let's go, angel." she grabbed angelica's shoulder and they walked away but not before angelica chuckles at you.

you looked ahead, no emotion on your face but tears still coming down. you still didn't notice anyone watching until you heard a voice.

"Y/n, is it?" a deep voice spoke. you looked over , confused. you saw Geno, Paige, Azzi and Nika all standing beside of you. you looked at all of them before nodding your head, looking down at your ankle.

"you played really good out there, incredible-" "you don't have to lie to me, coach Geno. you heard her, i embarrassed the-" "you did anything but embarrass the team. phenomenal work out there, katz." you looked up at him, hearing this from the geno auriemma made you feel something you never felt.

it made you feel safe. you see paige, azzi, and nika nodding along with him. "that block you did against Kk? amazing." paige spoke, everyone nodded. "you really think so?" you asked, you wiped your tears off your face.

"yes. don't let her tear you down, she's just mad you're her best player and her daughter isn't." azzi shrugged, nika chuckled. you did as well, you could still feel paige's eyes on you.

"how would you like to join us?" geno had his arm crossed, waiting for you to respond.

you were shocked, "w- what?" he nodded, "you deserve to be a huskie. you have that mentality, i could just tell. here, take this. contact me when you're ready to enter the transfer portal."

you took the little card, looked at it and looked back at Geno. "Thank you, really." you smiled at him, he grinned a bit, "don't worry about it. I'll be waiting for that call. see you around, Katz." He walked off, azzi and nika following him but not before speaking.

"see ya, y/n." azzi spoke, nika nodded her head and they both followed geno. paige stood there, still looking at you. you started to get butterflies, as you two kept eye contact.

"i guess i'll be seeing you around, katz." she spoke, a slight smirk on her face. you smirked back, she had her hand out waiting for you to shake. "maybe, beuckers, maybe." you shook her hand, she smiled bigger.

you giggled a bit, she waved and walked away, going back to her team. "good job, by the way." you called out to her, she turned back around. "yea, you too."

she left and you looked back down at the card. should you really be doing this?

fuck yes you should.

#uconn wbb #paige bueckers #uconn women’s basketball #basketball #this is what makes us girls #uconn huskies #azzi fudd #final four

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freaksstar · 9 days

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Hi Star!! Just read your enhypen x reader works and I wanted to say that I really love them 💖

If its not too much of a bother, and if you're still taking requests, could you write something about P1Harmony's Keeho confessing to bff reader? Thank you! 😊

ᴛʜᴇ 5 + 1 ᴡᴀʏꜱ ɪ ꜰᴇʟʟ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ.

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pairing: keeho x fem! reader, bff's to lovers

wc: 4.1k

genre: fluff, angst (if you squint)

guests: jay (enha), niki (enha) danielle (nwjns), chaewon (lesserafim),

warnings: mentions of crying, cussing (light), lmk if I missed anything else.

a/n: tysm for requesting nonnie!! it makes me rlly happy when ppl request lol, and it gets me motivated. i'm so sorry for the extreme delay in posting this tho cuz its exam season and everything and im sick so its been a tough week 😥 i hope you like it tho!! I hope how I wrote it is ok tho because i ended up having too much fun with the idea lol but fun fact!! i wrote this while listening to same scent by oneus lmaoo 😭

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i've lost it.

He's absolutely lost it. He's gone insane. That has to be the case, no? Now here's the thing: him and you go wayyy back. Like, you're childhood friends. And so he loves you - platonically. At least, that's what he thought until today. Is it normal that his heart's palpitating like it's going to explode? It must be normal. It's the adrenaline, he swears. Is that how adrenaline works though?...

Maybe not. Maybe he's gaslighting himself. Not that it's his fault. For some reason, today you look stunning, even if you're dressed down as hell. Maybe it's the way your intently listening to the drafted tracks that are for their next comeback, maybe it's the way you're swiftly taking notes as you bop your head along, hell, maybe it's just the fact that aside from his group members, he's never seen someone care so much. Not that he's complaining of course. The fact that you'd embroidered hoodies for their next comeback, for the entire group, gotten them accepted by their stylists so they could wear them in their mv's and performances might be the reason. It was so random too, when you came into their dorm one day, a pile of clothes in your arms as you proudly dropped them on Keeho's bed.

So random. Arguably weird.

But you cared. You cared about them.

And now, suddenly, he's found himself lost in your eyes as he's pitying all the guys you've dated. Pitying them for loosing such a gem. Must suck to suck, he thinks. It's then that he swears he won't loose you. He won't loose you if his life depends on it, even if he has to gaslight himself into believing he doesn't have feelings for you. Because he'd do anything for you to stay.

You're his and his groups biggest supporter, his rock when the leader duties get to him.

If he lost you, he'd be dead.

"Keeho? You good?"

Oh shoot.

2. delusional

"Yoo, guess who's got the goods?" You'd say with a grin, plopping down bags of snacks on the floor without making a noise.

"Girl, you cannot be saying shit like that in my company building. You're gonna get me cancelled! Gonna have controversies of me smoking weed." He'd reply, trying to keep the amusement out of his voice as he turned the swivel chair to face you. "Why're you here?" he questions after watching you pull out a bag of chips and tossing it to him, automatically going to open it. "Bro, can I not visit my best friend... you thought I had other friends to crash with?"

It's a silly question. Of course you have other friends to crash with.

But you choose him.

Goddamn it, he has to stop reading into everything.

"Nah it's just... whatever, forget it. You got the smarties?" Judging from the way his hand goes to the nap of his neck, you can tell something's up. He only tends to do that when he's nervous or stressed, a small detail you've learned about him after years of hanging out. Would you question it though? No, of course not. It's most likely because of the upcoming comeback they have.

And Keeho? Well damn can he figure out that you've caught on. He's not the best liar, or white lie yapper whatsoever, and so he's seen that face of yours - eyebrows unnoticeably furrowed, tongue poking the inside of your cheek - multiple times. He's quick to distract you from the fact that something's up with him.

"Broo, you good? I asked where the smarties were, lemme smoke 'em like we used to back in high school..." He'd drawl lazily, grabbing the polythene bag and rummaging through it for a few seconds, before pulling out a wrapped pack of smarties. You sigh, an endearing smile making it's way to your face as you watch him crush the pellet-shaped candies. "You're such a weirdo..." you'd mutter, your words tinged with a joking tone. "Don't even, you're literally the same," he hits back, a small chuckle escaping your lips.

"Eh, we were made for each other. You're stuck with me for the rest of you life Yoon Kee-ho, whether you like it or not. We're certified weirdo besties after all!" You exclaim, sitting on his dorm room's bed, the cheesiest smile plastered to your face.

"We were made for each other."

He turns away, grabbing a pair of scissors, though the action is only an excuse to hide his blushing face. The way you had him flustered at such innocent words killed him. Damn was he delusional. Those words didn't have anything but a platonic connotation, and here he was, face flushed as he tried to contain the silly school girl-esque smile threatening to appear on his lips.

"Of course, you dork." He mutters softly, quickly regaining his composure before flicking your forehead, to which you recoil away with a laugh.

If only you had the guts to tell him you meant it all romantically.

3. your #1 supporter

The next time he sees you, you're crying. He'd decided to visit you after a long and busy week, since you'd been unable to visit him, and well, he hadn't expected to see you in such a state. He had to make an effort to keep his jaw from dropping as you slowly opened the door to your apartment.

"Kee... you're here." You mumble softly, as he takes in your disheveled state, not having seen you like this since university acceptance exams. "Hey, hey, girl, what's up?" He's quick to turn soft at your appearance, brushing the hair out of your face and embracing you gently, his tote bag abandoned at his feet. The way it hurt to see you like this was unbearable. It was already unbearable when he saw his bandmates, the only people he cherished aside from you and his family, hurt, but from some reason, it hurt ten-fold when it was you crying.

Your arms slowly make their way around his torso, leaning into his embrace, thankful for the warmth. "So much work." is all you'd murmur into the thick fabric of his hoodie, breathing out slowly. He didn't need much more context to understand what had you so stressed.

"Exams?" he whispered softly, only to be met with a nod. He stands there for a few more moments, gently caressing your hair, his heart speeding at the closeness of your bodies. A proximity he once didn't notice nor have any care for. Now, he actively seeked it. God, he was such a simp.

After a few moments of thoughts, and cursing himself in the back of his mind, he asks another question. "You wanna take a cuddle break 'n then work on preparing again? I can spend the night and help you out, yeah?" Another nod. He silently smiles to himself, resisting the urge to kiss your forehead. You pray that he can't hear the way your heart's pounding in your chest right now, praying that the pink dusting your cheeks is unnoticeable.

"I'm so proud of you and the work you put in darling." He says quietly, running his fingers through the locks of your h/c hair. "You're my rock, I hope you know that. So much stronger than me too, if I had to deal with the preparation you're going through for that test, I'd still fail."

His words earn a small giggle from you, and a remark.

"We're ride or die after all, right?"

Sure as hell that's what the both of you were. He'd be dead if you weren't here.

4. 9.27

Why the hell was he jealous? Not like he was in any position to be jealous. So maybe seeing you talking to Jiung, Theo, Intak, Soul, and Jeongseob more than him for the past week was killing him. Maybe the way you'd all shut up and stop laughing the moment he entered the room hurt. Would he attempt to talk to you about it though? Not yet, not until it ate him away so much that he was forced to confront you, before he perished to the thoughts circling his mind.

You were friends with them too.

Now he just wanted you to himself.

He'd slap himself, realizing just how toxic that was. If he did that, he'd loose you for sure. In his opinion though? You looked even better then you currently did laughing at things he said. With a defeated sigh, he'd unlock the door to the band's dorm, kicking his shoes off before looking around the dark room, confused. Where was everyone? He swore they hadn't gave him any heads up about going anywhere. Pulling out his phone, he'd yell, "Guys?"

Before he could process the ripple of quiet murmurs that spread across the room, the lights were on, and there you were, a cake in your hands, the candles on the cake slowly being illuminated as Soul popped out of no where and lit them.

"Happy birthday to you..."

From his peripheral vision, he could see everyone else popping out from their hiding places, Theo with his hands full of gifts, Intak, Jeongseob, and Jiung struggling with unrolling a banner that Keeho could only barely make out the words of. “What?…” He’d mumble, his phone long forgotten as he subconsciously slipped it back into his pocket. Right, his birthday. Man, he’d been so caught up with practice and all of the preparation for the comeback that it'd completely slipped his mind.

"Keeho!" You'd exclaim, suddenly appearing in front of him, Soul to the side twirling a plastic knife in his hand before handing it to Keeho. The others would take their places next to you and Soul, Theo putting the gifts down slowly and Jiung helping Jeongseob put up the banner, while Intak got out a pack of small plates and forks.

"Uh, y/n? Thank you for doing all this but... I..." The way his face flushed as he stumbled over his words was embarrassing, but he really couldn't do much. He was already on the verge of crying, just from seeing all of you guys arrange something like this for him, and even though he wasn't the type to cry, something just snapped. Might've been the stress, might've been the relief, but as he blew the candles out he couldn't stop the warm tears from dripping down his face. Letting out a soft string of curses, his hand would come to his cheek in an attempt to dry the tears quickly, only to be met with your hand doing the job instead.

"Aw man, we didn't mean to make you cry... y/n bro, did we really just spend this entire week trying to hid his birthday plan from him just to make him cry? Swear my plan would've worked better..." Soul would say as he stood off to the side, taking the cake from your hands and cutting it into slices. He'd giggle as you retorted to his comment with something about how a jump scare wouldn't be any better.

Not that Keeho really caught any of the comments the two of you were making at each other, as the gears in his head were turning. Keeho was smart, y'know? It's just that sometimes it took him a good moment to get things, and so when the pieces clicked, he couldn't help but let out a quiet gasp. So that's why you'd been so secretive with the others all this time. When you'd look back at him after your quick discussion with Soul, you'd be met with glaring eyes, though his smile gave away the unseriousness to his appearance. "You... I swear to god, you alway have me trippin' about something..." Keeho would murmur, chuckling to himself as he trapped you in a hug, before breathing a sigh of relief as you returned the gesture.

"Try that again, and I might actually go insane."

"Huh? What're you on about now Kee..."

You'll know why one day.

5. skeleton flower

It'd been a tough week for you. You were busy with work, studying for your upcoming tests, making more embroidered pieces for P1Harmony due to the stylists requesting you to do so. What could they say? They loved your work, and well, you couldn't refuse being the people-pleaser you were. So with all that on your plate, and multiple deadlines, you'd decided to lock in. Locking in... was an interesting experience. When you locked in you tended to be seriously locked in. Like, locked in your apartment complex locked in. You hadn't stepped foot outside in a good 5 days. Now Keeho knew you got like this - so he tended to give you space during your 'im going to ghost everyone and never leave my apartment' phases, only checking in once you hit the 6 day mark of no contact.

You had reached the 6 day mark.

"Shit-" you'd curse under your breath, stabbing your finger for what felt to be the millionth time with the needle. Your ring finger would quickly find its way to your lips as you sucked the blood off, seething at the prick of pain. Sure, it might not be the most sanitary way to approach the issue, but you were on a time crunch, and it got the job done.

That was until it happened again, and this time your eyes would start dripping with water, the salty tears plopping onto the fabric of the hoodie you were currently embroidering. Ah, so you'd reached your breaking point. It was bound to happen at one point. Yes, you were aware that it wasn't healthy to stack stress and try to do everything all at once, but it was a habit that'd carried from your high school years into your university years - and you were yet to break it. That's why you relied on Keeho to keep you rooted.

Just then, as if he'd heard your thoughts, the doorbell would ring. Having no energy to walk to the door yourself, you'd pick you phone up with quivering hands - left abandoned to the side of you, as you hadn't touched it in days - and pulled his contact up, messaging him "you can come in". He knew your apartment's code afterall.

The faint beeping of the code being punched in would ring in the quiet interior of your apartment, and following it, the creak of the door opening. You could hear Keeho's calm steps, a pause, and then a rustling of a bag, as he made his way to your room. Your back was turned to him, as you were sitting at your desk, and you'd hear a faint whisper, before feeling hands on your shoulders, and a bag being put down.

"my skeleton flower... how're you feeling?"

You hadn't heard that nickname since the two of you had crammed for high school finals.

It'd been a while.

It still made your heart race all the same.

"I... I'm not sure, my rain"

A nickname that hadn't left your lips in quite some time.

You wouldn't notice the way he blushed at the statement.

You'd be met with open arms holding you close, as you sank off your chair to meet him on the carpeted floor. "You've been doing great... I think it's time for you to stop self-isolating again though, don't you agree?" he'd murmur against your ear, tracing shapes on your back as you clung to him, your first human interacting in days. You replied to his statement with a faint hum, tightly hugging him back. The two of you would stay like that for a bit, just silent, unspoken words between the two of you.

I love you.

A silent plea that went unheard.

5+1. firework

"Keeho!"

From just the sound of your voice, his head would whip back, meeting your grin. The rooftop firework party in honor of P1harmony's comeback had been planned by you a few days ago, and after a bit of convincing the higher-ups, Keeho and Theo, being the group's oldest, had gotten a thumbs up for your plan. The rooftop itself was being decorated by Soul and Jeongseob, streamers being put up here and there as Jiung set up the couch and chairs - Theo following behind with bottles of soju and snacks, laying them out carefully with a stack of paper cups. Intak would be setting up a folding table, carefully placing a boxed cake down on the plastic table cloth as he got utensils and paper plates out. Jay and Niki were at the barbecue, whatever they were cooking leaving a mouth-watering aroma in the air, the sunset in the background perfecting the mood.

"Heyy! We've been setting up, as you can see." He'd say, greeting you with a quick hug, though he wished he could hold you for longer. Looking around, he asked, "Who'd you bring?" You were allowed to bring two other friends after all. "I brought Chaewon and Danielle! Just gotta make sure Danielle doesn't get her hands on the soju tonight." You'd say with a giggle, brushing the hair out of your face.

Your eyes.

Your voice.

At hearing your sweet laughter, a chuckle of his own would leave his lips. "Mmm, I gotta watch Soul tonight, 'cause I think Jeongseob's responsible enough to not sneak any drinks, and Jay has to watch Niki. Guess we're all on babysitting duty then?" He'd remark, watching you laugh as you set your bag down. Turning to him, you'd murmur with a small smile, "I suppose so."

Your smile.

"Alrighty then, I gotta set up the fireworks. You girls help out somewhere then?"

"Can I help you? Chaewon and Danielle went off to help the others."

"Yeah, it that'd be great" He'd mutter, sheepishly pulling out an instruction manual. "Haven't been able to figure this out all day." You meet his statements with loud laughter, and it'd soon infect him.

Your laughter.

Your kindness.

About two hours later with an evening glow illuminate the rooftop, you'd all be huddled up around a fire pit, eating Jay's cooking and exchanging conversations, every now and then a remark or two causing laughter from everyone. The clinking of glasses, the warmth of the fire, the lighting, the talking, all perfect. The perfect memory. You looked perfect too, as always. Before you realized, Keeho would catch himself staring, remembering the little hand-picked bouquet of flowers he'd made for you sitting in the corner. He had to tonight. He wasn't sure if he could live with himself if he didn't tell you.

So when everyone would be in their positions, and Jay would be getting ready to set off the fireworks, he'd grab the bouquet, which you shouldn't be able to see very well due to the dark of the night, and he'd make his way to your side. You looked so excited. How cute.

"Keeho, Keeho, Keeho, you ready? He's gonna set them off any moment now!" you'd exclaim, clutching his hand. He'd reply back with the same amount of enthusiasm, as he tried to not be distracted by how you were holding his hand. A second later, the two of you would hear Soul scream, before yelling, "Hey guys back up! I lit the fucking fuse- shooot!" As you two giggled, you could hear the faint response from Theo, telling Soul something about not cussing, before the bang of the first firework would go off.

Collective shouts of joy would come from where you were all huddled together, joined by the clinking of glasses and laughter, as you and Keeho would laugh along with everyone else. Shoot, he had to do it now, or he'd forget and never have the guts again.

"N/n, c'mon, I gotta tell you something real quick," He'd say to you, catching Intak's smirk as the two of you walked off a few feet from the others. He'd mutter something under his breath, before grabbing the bouquet off the floor as you made your way over, putting your red solo cup down.

"Yeah, what's up?" You'd question, tilting your head slightly as you studied his face. Something felt off. A second of silence would follow, before Keeho would open his mouth slightly, the hesitancy obvious.

"Y/n."

"Yeah?" You were now giving him a quizzical stare, stepping closer. "Something wrong?"

He'd exhale, steeling himself for rejection.

"I... I love you. A lot. And... if you're unable to return my feelings, that's completely fine, so please don't feel pressured to say yes. Would you... would you be my girlfriend?"

Done. Now he could regret it forever, but at least he got it out. After a few moments, he'd hesitantly meet your eyes, waiting for a response. Maybe he should clarify.

"Once again, I-"

"I love you too."

What?

"You- you what?"

Had he heard that right?

A quiet giggle would leave your lips as your stepped forward, hands taking his as they intertwined.

"Can I kiss you?"

You had him wrapped around your finger. Of course he would let you kiss him. He'd let you do anything.

In return to your query would be a grin, as he slipped his hands out from yours and to your face. He'd hold your face gently as he pressed his lips to yours, the bouquet long forgotten. It's fine, he could give it to you later.

He had what he loved the most now, after all.

You.

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please don't translate, copy, or steal my work!

ty for reading <3

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#p1harmony x reader #p1h keeho #x reader #freaksstar's fics!#p1harmony #piwon #keeho #yoon keeho #p1h #kpop headcanons #kpop #p1h scenarios

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ktysh · 2 months

Text

it was past midnight. charlie had just finished writing a draft of the chapter he had been working on for the last few days, and was about to go to bed. he thought joshua was already asleep, but to his surprise, joshua wasn't. he was sitting on his side of the bed, his face in his hands, trembling.

it wasn't exactly unusual, but the past two months had been kind of... weird.

since the night joshua lost both his twin brother and childhood best friend, charlie hadn't seen him cry, not even once. he knew that joshua's brain was trying to protect him and that once the environment was safe enough to express all those feelings, joshua would break. he just didn't know when it would happen.

it seemed like the time had come. joshua just finished working on that big project with his agency; esther was doing great in therapy, she started talking again and even made a few friends in her kindergarten; charlie's health wasn't bothering him too much those days. they had money and a new apartment that was big enough for all of them. things were stable, and joshua didn't need to keep everything under control anymore. he could let someone else be the responsible adult for the time being.

after a few minutes of sitting in silence, charlie asked softly, "wanna talk?"

joshua nodded. "i feel so... conflicted," he whispered. "we've never wanted kids. i always thought it's gonna be just you and me, and pets... i don't even know what i'm doing right now. i read, and watch, and listen to tons of parenting stuff, but i still don't know if i'm doing anything right."

he sighed, squeezing charlie's hands. "i wasn't ready for this. i wish we didn't have to do this. and now i feel guilty, because there's this tiny voice in my head that tells me that if i feel this way it means i don't love esther. but i do. i do. i just... i wish they were still here."

charlie wasn't sure what he could say to make things better, or if it even was possible. he had always been awkward with his words. "you know that voice is lying, don't you? i don't know what i'm doing either, but... we're still doing great."

"i'm afraid to make it worse for her," joshua admitted. "i'm not made for having kids. i don't want her to feel unloved and unwanted, but... how do we explain to her why i straight up shut down and ignore everyone some days? what if I hurt her because i won't be able to give her affection when she needs it the most?"

charlie caressed the back of joshua's hands with his thumbs. "we'll ask. we'll ask your therapist, her therapist, we'll think of something she would understand. together. okay? you're not alone in this, i promise."

#:(#posting this when everyone is asleep because i'm insecure #ts4 #ts4 gameplay #sweet-ito legacy #sweet-ito: gen 4 #sim: joshua sweet-ito #sim: charlie rosado

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adarafaelbarba · 4 months

Text

The Show Must Go On ~ Prompt List

This list has been long in the making and is far from finished. But I decided to post the first draft now, and see where to go from there 🥰

It's composed of mainly theatre tracks but contains something outside the world of theatre too, and will more or less be like that throughout this "journey" as I don't always listen to musical theatre cast recordings, but it's still a lot of what I do listen to 😅

Also -- Thank you @bullet-prooflove for the inspiration of the list, I love seeing your radio lists 😍

So without further ado, here's my spin on "Playlist prompt list"

Thunder rumbling, castles crumbling, I am trying to hold on.

Maybe next time I’ll be enough, you’ll give me everything instead of giving up.

I’d tell you that I love you, I miss you, I wish you were here. Maybe if I shout it loud enough, you might hear.

So it looks like the joke’s on you, cause the girl that you thought you knew, she’s so gone.

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, and it's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name.

He’s close to my mother, talks business with my father, he’s charming and endearing and I’m comfortable.

’cause I can feel the universe when I'm feeling you breathe, it's bigger than us, and it's bigger than you and me, it's bigger.

It’s astronomy, we’re two worlds apart

Teenagers scare the living shit out of me

Just kiss me one last time, close your eyes, say goodbye and walk away.

I'm still holdin' on to everything that's dead and gone

I don’t want to say goodbye cause this time means forever

Now, Sunday mornings, I just sleep in, It's like I buried my faith with you

And now you're in the stars and six-feet's never felt so far. Here I am alone between the heavens and the embers

I'm screamin' at a God I don't know if I believe in. ‘Cause I don't know what else I can do

but when does a comet become a meteor. When does a candle become a blaze. When does a man become a monster. When does a ripple become a tidal wave. When does the reason become the blame.

I look into your eyes and think back to the son of mine. You’re as old as he was when I left for war.

close your eyes and spare yourself the view. How could I hurt you?

I’m just a man, who’s fighting for his life. Deep down I would trade the world to see my son and wife.

Have you forgotten the lessons I’ve taught you? Have you forgotten to turn off your heart? This is not you.

Show yourself, I know you're watching me. Show yourself. I can see you.

How can you see through my spell?

Haha! I was lying and you fell for my bluff

What good would killing do. When mercy is a skill more of this world could learn to use. My friend is dead! Our foe is blind! The blood we shed it never dries!

You are reckless, sentimental at best. That's not a teaching of mine. You've grown soft, your dead friends can attest.

That's just like you, why should I be surprised? Selfish and prideful and vain. Unlike you every time someone dies I'm left to deal with the strain.

I'll remind you I saw you as a friend, but now we're done.

You're not looking for a mentor. I'm not looking for a friend. I mistook you for a general. What a waste of effort spent.

At least I know what I'm fighting for, while you're fighting to be known! Since you claim you're so much wiser why's your life spent all alone?

One day, you'll hear what I'm saying. One day, you might understand. One day, but not today. For after all you're just a man.

This day, you sever your own head. This day, you cut the line. This day, you lost it all. Consider this as my goodbye

~~~

Tagging:

@plaidbooks @storiesofsvu @cycat4077 @thatesqcrush @alwaysachorusgirl @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @bisexual-dreamer02 @misscharlielulu @xoxabs88xox @muchadoaboutcj @beatrice-san @meetmeatyourworst @thats-jaywalking @cursedashes @mysoulisasunflower @crazy4chickennuggets @imaginelover88 @beccabarba @itsjustmyfantasyroom @detective-giggles @guitita @imaginelover88 @ladylionstar @achataa @nessamc @peauxheaux @silversprings-mp3 @polkadotpenguin16 @pepperbstark @im-a-slut-for-this-man2 @chickensarentcheap @irishavengersassemble @adowbaldwin @butternuggets-blog @rozalynfrozen @wheresthesunshineblog_ @meg-ro @meetmeatyourworst @peauxheaux @bulletproof-love-replies

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#karen speaks #karen makes a prompt list #playlist prompt #music prompts

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xelasrecords · 1 year

Text

Greatest Kindness

Han Jumin x Reader

A breakup doesn't have to be filled with anger, tears or regret to be awful. One of the worst kinds is the quiet one, where the love has died for one side, and the other cannot do anything but accept it.

Wedding Scene can be read as the continuation of this.

Words: 1.7k

Masterlist Read on AO3

It began like this: a boy fell into a trance upon hearing a girl's voice. The girl spoke so little, yet meant so much. She spoke so little, but it was everything she could say to sustain his attention. She didn't know she didn't have to do anything to make him focus on her, not when he had fixed his needle-sharp awareness on her since the beginning.

She would do anything to prolong her time with him. He knew. And he let her.

"Han-Ju-min. Like this?"

"I didn't expect you to say my name. You're quite bold for someone new."

"A name is just a name."

"Not when it comes to mine."

A nervous laugh. "So, how's my voice?"

"Let's see, how should I put it? Some people's voice is like the sound of glass being smashed. It irritates the eardrum. However, yours floats above it. It's soothing and fine, as pleasant as Elizabeth the Third's meows. Simply put, it doesn't bother me and I wouldn't mind listening to it again."

This time, he also knew she would let him go. And he would let her.

It was the last thing he could do to make her happy.

-----

Jumin could feel the ending coming as you made your way to him. A kind of premonition, your gait was. He had felt it when his birth mother bade her final farewell. No kisses, no hugs, just a simple command to stay put. Never once did he expect her to come back. He was easy to abandon and he understood that early on. The love extended to him somehow always had an expiration date.

This wasn't all that different.

The opposite of love was indifference. If it hurt you to leave him, that meant you still loved him. But it also meant you were all the crueller for abandoning the person you loved. If it did not, then you were the opposite of Jumin.

In this case, love was synonymous with hurt. That statement alone should be the reason for your breakup, because why would anyone equal love with pain? But there was no right course to choose. Every path led to misery. You simply opted for the quickest one. Gravels cut through your bare feet, but Jumin would be safe from the storm that followed you wherever you went. Block off the passage, and he wouldn't be able to follow you.

You were nothing like Jumin.

You stood before him. Countless mornings you had stood like this when you adjusted his tie and hugged him before he left for work. You had stood like this when your eyes were heavy with sleep and he came to you, kissed your forehead and informed you that breakfast was ready.

"Pancake again?"

"Do you prefer something else? Just tell me what you want and I'll ask the chef to draft the recipe."

"That's fine. I like your pancakes. In fact, why don't we make some together next time?"

"You always produce brilliant ideas. That'd be a great way to spend quality time together. Come eat now, darling. You don't want to be late."

There was no next time.

Jumin standing before you hollow-eyed was beautiful, agonising, untouchable. It was a memory you would use to beat yourself up in the future. You loved him once, you remembered. But it was just a recalling of a feeling. You didn't know how to feel it again.

You couldn't find your voice.

"I know," Jumin said, beating you to it.

He always knew your mind.

"Let me say it anyway."

"Do you have to?"

You nodded.

"Are you doing this because you want to make it feel real?"

"It's been real for a while now." Your expression was so contrite that he wanted to decline hearing it even more.

Jumin shook his head but kept his eyes on you. He wanted to commit everything about you into his memory before he lost you forever. It wouldn't be long now. Everything he loved had an expiration date. Losing them multiple times did not make the experience less harrowing.

You took a deep breath, but it didn't help you breathe easier. "I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry."

"I know that too."

The silence stretched, the distance pushed you far, far away from him. You did it. You'd done it, so why wasn't there relief in your heart? You felt nothing, as if nothing had suffused into your bones a long time ago, unnoticeable until it choked you and became you and that was all you were now.

If you touched him for one last time, would he flinch? You wanted to, but you weren't that cruel. The hurt you inflicted on him was enough to last for a lifetime. His life had meant nothing before you, and he couldn't fathom if it could mean anything after you.

Jumin, Jumin, Jumin. The way you called out his name still echoed in his ears. When was the last time you said it with affection? How could he have forgotten? It used to be an everyday routine until suddenly, your tone went cold. He couldn't detect the exact moment he started to lose you. He wasn't sure he wanted to.

His memory was a quality he was proud of until this second.

But really, you weren't cold. In other people's eyes, you might be, but you could never stop caring. Not with Jumin. You just stopped loving, like a radio winding down. Words constantly repeated would lose their meaning. This was the same.

At least, that was what you convinced yourself.

"This isn't how love stories end in soap operas." Jumin's voice cracked. His last attempt to salvage the relationship. Hold my hand, his reluctant arm gesture seemed to say. Hold me.

You wished you could cry, but you couldn't. There was no love left for him. You felt wretched for wrecking him, but it was better than forcing him to stay with someone who could no longer cry for him.

"Say my name," he pleaded.

"Jumin," you complied.

"Tell me you love me."

"I thought you prefer painful truths over comforting lies."

"Just because it's no longer a truth doesn't mean I cannot pretend it is. It used to be one, so please."

You nodded in understanding. "I love you."

It was a sentence devoid of anything. Jumin cracked inside. Funny how a weightless thing could damage him so greatly.

You wavered between walking to the door and embracing him one last time. The deed was done. You should go before he fell apart. You knew he would. Then, he would fill the gaping space with mindless distractions, trying to shape it back into something akin to you, or something opposite of you. Wine or work, those were his vices. He would become the robot he despised to be.

"You should leave," Jumin said, but his heart chanted for you to stay for another night. Just one more night. Just tonight. He could show you how he was still worthy to be loved and your love would be reignited. Then everything would be fine.

"I should." If he begged you to stay, maybe you would. But it would be out of sympathy, and it would only hurt him more in the end. Nothing was going to change your heart. You wouldn't be here if your heart were so changeable.

Everything felt jarring. Perhaps after you got out of this penthouse, the gravity of your action would dawn on you and you would break. You had loved him, after all. You never hated him, so nothing could take away the fondness you reserved for all the goodness that was Jumin.

"You've been so good to me." You were delaying your departure. This, he knew.

"You deserve everything good. Maybe you'll find it in someone other than me, although I confess I do not want it to be so."

"And there will be another person who can love you better."

"Not if I can help it. And I can."

You wanted to step closer to Jumin. You stayed still. "Don't be so ruthless to yourself."

"I'd rather keel over for you than live in idiotic happiness with someone else." Jumin moved towards you, languidly, grievously, with none of the confidence he normally contained.

"Foolish happiness is still happiness," you breathed out.

"I don't want to love a beautiful fool when I've known what your exceptional mind can bring."

You used to be his strength, but now you were his weakness.

There was nothing left to say. Jumin's eyes were streaked with red, brimming with unshed tears and you had to battle your instinct to lean in and wipe them away. It was not your place anymore, and that was your own doing.

Jumin would not let the tears fall. If he cried, he knew it would be harder for you to go. You always had a soft spot for him. Even when you had stopped loving him, Jumin never doubted your sincerity and concern. You were such a good person. He didn't want you to crumble when all you wanted was to leave. Even when it hurt, he still wanted to make things easier for you.

Watching him break down. That was your vice.

Jumin closed his eyes and nodded, allowing you to leave. You were not unfeeling, so you gave him the grace to grieve alone. You turned around. Jumin thought he was giving you freedom. You suspected you just threw yourself into another hell, but that could only be confirmed after this was over. Your footsteps against the cold marble floor had never sounded so loud.

He had loved you for a very long time, and you had undone him in a very short time. Where you left him, he would forever stay. The door loomed before you. You would not look back. You would not look back. You would not—

Oh, look at the destruction you had caused. He was broken, and so alone.

Footnotes:

Just like how Jumin knew you were prolonging your time to talk to him more in their first call, he knew you were purposely delaying your time to leave. From the start until the end, Jumin had always known you.

Beautiful fool is a reference to The Great Gatsby.

Somehow I cannot write simple mindless drabbles because I keep looking for themes and motifs to connect the big picture. The motif here is voice as the first nudge towards your relationship and the absence of it as the element that breaks it. Silent understandings also play a big role.

I debated whether to put Jumin in deep denial and beg you to give him another chance, but I don't think he'd do that when he already knew you'd fallen out of love before you brought it up. He'd still try, but he also knew it would be futile. Ultimately, he wants you to be happy, even if it's in the form of letting you go.

The first time Jumin said "the love extended to him somehow always had an expiration date", it was a reluctant youthful belief. The second time he repeated "everything he loved had an expiration date", it was a firm statement. His belief was cemented when you fell out of love with him.

Buy me a glass of something that's definitely not coffee because I can't stand it but it is the website's name if my story touches you in some way? No worries if you don't. I'm still grateful you've read all the way through here.

#if i'm suffering then my characters will have to suffer with me #not in the headspace to write anything romantic and still grappling with a writing slump but I miss actualising Jumin from my imagination #xela writes #mysme jumin #jumin han #jumin #jumin x mc #jumin x reader #mm jumin #mystic messenger jumin #jumin x you #mystic messenger fanfiction #mysme #mm #mystic messenger #jumin han angst #jumin han fic

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dessarious · 4 months

Text

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt105

So I tried to put my tag list on this and it keeps giving me an error about too many characters in the text block (did it even before I pasted the draft in) so I'll try to figure out where the problem is before I post anything else.

Beginning Previous

"Mari, look at me, sweetheart." Her Papa's voice made her blink. When had he come in? She looked over to find him kneeling next to her, worry written on his face.

"I'm sorry, I was thinking, what were you saying?" Everyone around her was exchanging looks. That couldn't be good.

"Mari, you were completely nonresponsive for close to fifteen minutes. Why don't we go upstairs and talk?" That explained the looks, at least.

"It's okay, I'm fine." She couldn't really place the look on his face.

"Maybe so, but it's been a long time since we've spent any one on one time together. I thought we could talk, or even just play UMS."

"Feel like being taken down by a little girl, do you?" That got a shocked snort, before he laughed. Really laughed. It felt like it had been a long time since he'd done that.

"Only by you, sweetheart. But, I might surprise you. I've been practicing." He whispered the last part with a conspiratorial wink, and she giggled.

"You're going down, old man." He laughed again, and she realized how much she'd missed it.

"That's my girl. Let's go make sure you live up to that confidence." He picked her up, and she caught the worried frowns from everyone else before he carried her upstairs.

"I didn't mean to upset you Papa. I really was just lost in my thoughts." The smile he gave her was understanding, though a bit strained.

"I know, sweetheart. I just wish you would share more of those thoughts with us. You've always taken after me with the way you internalize everything. I want you to know that you can talk to us about anything. We understand why you had to keep certain things secret, and may still need to sometimes, but we'll listen to everything you're willing to say."

"I don't want to worry you. I've already put you both through so much." All the things that happened since she took down Hawkmoth were bad enough, but she'd been causing them problems far longer. Her Papa set her on the couch before kneeling down in front of her again.

"Mari, we're your parents. Worrying is part of our job. Being there when you need us is part of our job. Your job isn't to make us feel better or tiptoe around our feelings. Hawkmoth is gone. There's no chance of me overeating and locking you in a tower of thorns." She couldn't help but giggle at his dry tone. "We want you to be happy, and we want to help you. Not to mention, what hurts the most is feeling like you're pulling away from us." His voice cracked and tears were threatening to fall from his eyes.

"Oh, Papa. I'm so sorry." She tried to pull him into a hug, but he grabbed her hands instead.

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, and I know that children grow up and leave the nest. Of course, we weren't prepared for it to be this soon, but that's beside the point. We just want to support you, but we can't do that if you don't let us back in."

"I just... I didn't want to make things worse for you. All of this happened so fast and I know you haven't had a chance to process it all yet. I didn't want to make things harder for you." Her Papa just rolled his eyes.

"I'll say it again. We are the parents. Honestly, the less information we have, the more we worry. Not to mention, we know you too well to believe that everything is fine just because you're smiling. I know we haven't been as present as we should have been in the past, but we wanted to give you space. If I had any idea what you were actually going through, I would have done something."

Mari felt herself wince. She knew that both her parents would have helped, but it wasn't a chance she was willing to take after the Weredad incident. She honestly was afraid to even think about what her mother would have been like to fight.

"I thought I could handle it on my own. I didn't mean to seem so distant." He was rubbing his thumbs along her knuckles. "Do you think I should forgive everyone?"

"Define everyone." His words had a hard edge, and it took her a moment to realize he was probably thinking about Gabriel.

"Did Chloe tell you about our run in with Nino?" Her Papa nodded. She figured she had more than enough time to tell them when she was trapped in her head. "Is it fair of me to blame them for being weak-willed enough to let others make their decisions for them? Isn't that the same as blaming Hawkmoth's victims for what they did?"

"It's not the same, Mari, you know that. Hawkmoth's victims were completely taken over. Once he was in, they were no longer themselves, and they didn't remember anything after. Your classmates let themselves be led. They let someone else make decisions for them despite everything you've done for them. You don't owe anyone forgiveness. At the same time, it's not healthy for you to hold a grudge. If you want to cut them out of your life entirely, I wouldn't blame you, and we'll support whatever decision you make. Be more cautions in the future, but don't let what happened fester inside you and turn you into a different person."

That made sense. It wasn't about forgiving, or even forgetting. It was about learning from the past, but not letting it determine your future. She should be able to do that. Right? She finally managed to lean in and hug him.

"Thank you Papa. I promise I'll be more open."

"We love you sweetie, and we'll be here for you, no matter what happens." They stayed that way for a few minutes before he pulled back. "Now, are you ready to take on your old man?"

————————————-

"I warned you." Mari's voice was smug as she looked at her father's confused expression.

"I know you haven't had time to practice. How are you beating me this easily?"

"Ladybug reflexes." The dry look he sent her said that was bullshit, but she just shrugged.

"In that case, I need to teach Chloe how to play and see if she can beat you." Mari giggled.

"You just want to teach her so you can win again." He rolled his eyes but she could see the smile trying to form. "You should offer, though. Chloe's parents never really taught her anything. I think she'd like having you or Maman teach her something, even something small. But maybe you could suggest teaching her how to cook or bake. I think she'd be happy you trust her enough to offer." Her father started muttering, but the only words she caught were mayor and catacombs. Probably for the best.

"You think she'd enjoy cooking?" He sounded a bit skeptical, and she could understand why.

"I think she'd enjoy learning to be more self sufficient. But once she has the basics down, I think she'd actually like cooking itself. It's a part of life that's fairly easy to control. What?" She wasn't certain what to make of her Papa's frown.

"We need to find a way to get you both into therapy, and keep Chloe away from her parents as much as possible." Well, she could agree to the second.

"Papa, you know that therapy isn't a good idea. What's the point if we constantly have to lie or tell half-truths? But I think Selina plans on running interference with Chloe's parents. She really doesn't like them."

"Well, I'm glad someone's on her side that actually has the power behind them to do something." He muttered for another minute. "But there has to be something we can do about therapy. You both need it, and I'm not just going to ignore that. There has to be a way. Have you talked to the Kwami about some sort of magic that would make it so the person couldn't talk about what you told them?" It was her turn to frown at him.

"I don't like the idea of taking away someone's freewill, even if it's just a little bit. It's not something I want to get comfortable doing." Tikki popped up in front of her.

"What about a memory spell? If they go to talk to someone about anything you and Chloe have told them, they'll lose all memory of talking to either of you." That was better... sort of.

"That might work, but how do we find someone that can deal with both sides of things? I mean, it's not like anyone specializes in secret identities."

"Technically, the Justice League does have someone for that, but I doubt they'd agree to take you on as a patient, given the current climate there. I know someone who could do it though, if you'd be okay talking with a former rogue." Mari jumped. When had Selina and the others made it upstairs?

"You mean Quinn?" Damian sounded skeptical, at best.

"I do. Even you have to admit that she and Ivy have gotten better. The only time they did anything big in the past two years was that factory that was completely destroying the habitat for some endangered plants, and Ivy did try to go through proper channels first. She only escalated when it was obvious people were being paid off to look the other way." Damian grumbled at her, but otherwise didn't disagree.

"Quinn? As in Harleen Quinzel?" She'd studied other heroes and their villains extensively in the beginning, trying to find someone she could ask for help. Fu had nixed the idea as soon as she told him, but she'd gotten a lot of information. Damian nodded at her. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. She's made a lot of progress and I don't want to be responsible for making her regress."

"Well, you see, that's the thing. If she and Ivy were to come here, we could keep an eye on them. Not to mention it would take them out of that toxic environment. So really, you'd actually be helping them heal as well." Mari wasn't certain what to make of the look Damian gave Selina when she finished. It did make sense though.

"Are they even allowed to leave the US? Or be in France for that matter?" Damian didn't sound like he was protesting, just confused more than anything else.

"Neither one of them has any active warrants out, and surprisingly enough, they've never been charged with anything in France either." That got looks from just about everyone.

"Can they be trusted?" Mari looked to Damian for the answer.

"You can always do a failsafe so they can't talk to other people about you, or wipe their memory if they try. But I know they are in possession of information that could be disastrous if it were to get out and have kept their word to keep it to themselves."

"I suppose we could try."

"Great! They'll be flying over with Barbara." Damian raised an eyebrow at Selina.

"My father agreed to this?"

"Not yet, but he will."

"Is this one of those 'better to ask forgiveness than permission' things?"

"No, this is more of a 'get him to think it was his idea' thing. Don't worry, I've got this." Mari was certain Selina's confidence was well founded, despite Damian's dubious look. She just wasn't certain how to feel about therapy now that it wasn't an impossibility. When she looked at Chloe though, her partner just looked relieved. She'd quit her other therapy when she found out Mari was Ladybug, for fear she might say the wrong thing. Given everything that happened since, especially with her parents, Mari was glad she'd get that outlet again.

Beginning Previous

#maribat #marinette dupain cheng #tom dupain #damian wayne #chloe bourgeois #sabine cheng #selina kyle #everyone needs therapy #father daughter bonding

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unrequitedloveletter · 9 months

Note

Hello !! Could you write platonic Matthias x squaller reader where they grew up together and were best friends until the reader just disappeared. Years later Matthias finally reunites with the reader who’s now working with the crows. They explain that they ran away due to the fear of being a grisha in fjerda and because they couldn’t bare the thought of Matthias finding out and turning on them. Thank you <3 - 👾

Lost- Platonic! M.H x gn! squaller! reader

Hi, purple alien emoji anon! Thank you for sending this in--I don't write for Matthias very often so getting the chance to do was definitely a bit of a treat!

On another note, though, requests will close around the end of this week! I have the close date for thursday right now but I'm leaning more toward friday because it feels more uniform in my brain so yeah! Send in anything and send in as much as you want--I've finished up with the first draft of my current WIP and I have been itching to focus on fanfic writing again

Fic type- this is hurt/comfort! There's a bit of an angstier element here too, though, and it does get a bit fluffier near the end

Warnings- death is mentioned a bit, burning bodies on a pyre is mentioned a few times, there's a mention of dying in the permafrost (it's not directly referenced--matthias calls it losing the reader to the permafrost)

As Matthias Helvar approached the top of the Ferolind, his eyes keenly watching the crew he'd been broken out of prison to join, he found himself listening to a voice that sounded all too familiar--much too familiar for his tastes.

It was the voice that had belonged to you--the person who had once been his best friend. How long had it been since you'd last seen each other? Two years? Three? Matthias had lost count.

He'd not seen you much in the heist, which confused him, but he was glad that all was said and done regardless. All of it was exhausting, and trying to help Nina as she went through everything with the parem was turning out to be exhausting still, too.

His hands had been freed of the shackles they'd once worn, but still he rubbed at his wrists in something that almost felt a little like habit.

He looked in the direction of the sound of your voice hesitantly--carefully, as you gave a response to Kaz regarding something about something else. Matthias barely cared to listen when Kaz was speaking with regards to anything other than Fjerda or the letter declaring Matthias' freedom, so he'd missed out.

You were manning the sails and keeping the crew forward moving as you left the icy waters of Fjerda behind you and escaped on the tail end of disaster. It was a relief that was palpable--everyone was feeling it as they all stood in various spots on the deck.

"I think I'll be sleeping until we get to the harbor once we've reached Ketterdam waters, honestly," you said with a laugh. "I've only really been able to practice this stuff for two years--I'm not nearly as talented or as comfortable in my small science as someone like Nina might be. I thank you for your patience."

Kaz only waived a dismissive hand. "I'll bring you a bit of coffee--Inej says that Specht is brewing a pot in the lower levels."

Matthias watched you grin, watched you watch Kaz walk away. Your gaze turned to Matthias and you jumped, causing the sails of the boat to ruffle.

"Is this real?" Matthias asked. "I'm not seeing the ghost of my childhood best friend, am I? I know that being around this bunch might bring me a bit of mild hallucinating, but there's just no way. It makes no sense."

You sighed, glaring at him just a bit. "Druskelle," you said. "I've thought about this moment a lot since everything happened. I've tried to figure out whether the emotion I felt in the regard of the thought was excitement or anxiety. It seems I've found myself within a lethal mixture of both."

"I thought you were dead," Matthias said. "For two years, I have thought you died, Y/N. What happened? Why did you leave? Grisha have save spaces in Fjerda. Dozens of them according to the networking that I saw before prison."

"Thats completely irrele--Matthias. Druskelle are in Fjerda," you said. "Being Grisha in Fjerda is dangerous because in Fjerda you are not the blessed like the Zemeni believe; your small science is not considered a gift, not treasured or celebrated like it is in most Ravkan towns. In Fjerda, if you are Grisha, you are the wicked; your death is celebrated, not your life, when they put you on a pyre and burn you for the misdeed you committed by existing. The things that you saw before you were imprisoned were not real. They were fake networks to get Fjerda to attack it's own military bases in the assumption that Grisha were waiting close by. I couldn't--once I realized that I was a squaller I left. I went to Ketterdam and I found myself in the Barrel, and here we are now."

"You didn't just leave," Matthias said. "You disappeared. I thought you had died, that something had killed you."

"You had joined the Druskelle when I decided it was time to go," you said. "I thought you would've hated me for the fact that I am a squaller. You were my best friend, Matthias. I couldn't bear the thought of it but I couldn't figure out how to leave so I thought that I should just go. Go before I could register that I had left my life behind."

"You thought that I would turn on you?"

"You had just joined the ranks of the Druskelle," you said, turning finally to spare him a glance. "Am I really the one who is to be blamed for such a thought process when you joined the largest organized group that remains actively hunting Grisha down, burning them on pyres in false trials, and leaving the bodies for their families to find?"

Matthias silenced himself. You made a good point.

He stayed with you on the top of the Ferolind for a long while, neither of you saying much of anything as Matthias took to watching the sky as the sun began to set and the stars that lit the sky up began to show themselves.

"If it helps," he said. "I am glad that you survived. I do not know what I would've done had I gotten word that you'd been lost to the snow and died amidst the permafrost."

You grinned. "I'm glad you're still kicking around," you said. "I bet Nina is, too, the way she looks at you."

Matthias gave a shake of his head and the silence settled again, though that time it was plenty more comfortable to stir in than the first.

#matthias helvar #matthias helvar x reader #platonic! matthias helvar x reader #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix

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apureniallsource · 1 year

Text

Niall Horan is ready to put on a Show.

The former One Direction member and current Voice coach's third studio album, The Show, was born in lockdown following the release of its predecessor, Heartbreak Weather, in March 2020. After getting the chance to "sit still for the first time in probably 10 years," Horan wrote the title track, which he says "kickstarted" the rest of the record.

"The chorus is basically saying we should be grateful for what we have," Horan tells EW. "I think during the pandemic, we lost a little bit of that control we like to have as humans — then that just provoked so many bigger thoughts in my head. It opened a stream of ideas."

None of which, fans might be surprised to learn, entail emotional agony. "There's no heartbreak on this one," Horan says. "If you're coming for a heartbreak love song, I don't think you'll get it here." This, he explains, is the major difference between his latest, "more mature" outing and his previous work.

EW caught up with Horan to find out what else we can expect from The Show and his upcoming tour.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: I read that track 6, "You Should Start a Cult," was inspired by you and your girlfriend watching true-crime shows. Was there a specific show that gave you the idea?

NIALL HORAN: That's all we watch — true crime — so I couldn't even tell you what the show was, but I just thought that would be a great title for a love song, and to flip it on its head. I just got to writing a love song that sounded so extravagant, and the lyrics were gonna be huge. It's quite a small song, but some of the statements are quite large. And I love the irony of having a title like that — it sounding very angry, but it's not. It's a love song, at the end of the day.

What makes The Show different from your previous albums, Flicker and Heartbreak Weather?

It's probably the progression over the last seven years — you know, from my first album through to the second one. I think they were all good albums for where I was at that time in my life, and I think this is perfect for [where I am now]. I would say this is probably the more mature-sounding album. There's no heartbreak on this one, which allows you to write different types of songs. That's probably the biggest difference.

Do you find it more fun to write love songs versus heartbreak songs? Or did you miss writing heartbreak songs on this album?

I think they're two completely different concepts. Writing is all about where you're at and "saying what you see," to use a cliché. It's very easy to write a heartbreak song when you're heartbroken, and easy to write a love song when you're in love.

Do you have a favorite song on the album?

I struggle with this. I made it a 10-track album on purpose — to make sure that, hopefully, when people get to 10 they want to go back to the top and listen to the first one again. You know, instead of having a 16-track album and hoping that it's nearly finished. I've got a few favorites. They've all got a different vibe and a different concept and a different musical element that makes 'em good. If I was to pick one now, I'd probably say "You Could Start a Cult." That or "The Show." Probably "The Show," actually.

Are there songs that didn't make the album that might see the light of day on something in the future?

I definitely had some tough decisions to make. I wanted to love every song. I don't know. I'll start writing again at some point, and if I can outdo what I have left over, then fair enough. There are a couple lying around that could be made into something, but as of now they're not going anywhere but my emails or my drafts.

It's been so long since you've been able to tour. What are you most looking forward to?

Just seeing the fans. I spent so much of my career seeing them every night. I'm ready to get back out and play the album I never got to play live, and play this new one, and just create a show — a really good one. I'm already trying to put plans together for how the set would look. I'm just excited to feel that buzz again. It's strange for me that I haven't been on a proper stage in, like, nearly five years. When you think about it like that, it's like, "Oh God, I need to get back on the road."

You mentioned you'll be playing some of Heartbreak Weather on the tour as well. Any chance you might bring some guests on stage?

Oh, yes, for sure. Any city I go to, if I'm friends with an artist from that city and they happen to be there, I'll always see if I can get them to come up and sing one of theirs or one of mine with me. I think about shows like in L.A., with my collaboration with Julia [Michaels]. It could make for a really good gig. Don't want to say too much, 'cause Julia might say no. So that could change, but that would be my ideal: maybe someone I know from Chicago, or someone I know from San Fran, or whatever...

Who would be your No. 1 pick to perform with?

Springsteen would be pretty sick. Imagine being up in Asbury Park and playing with Bruce Springsteen. I performed with Taylor [Swift] before at Wembley Stadium, and that was magic. Obviously, I would love to do it again. She's a busy lady at the moment.

I mean, she's been bringing people out on her Eras Tour, so you never know.

She knows where I am.

The Show is out June 9.

#niall horan #the show #10may

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the-pen-pot · 4 months

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Hello!! Are you still doing the WIP game? If you are, either King and Court or Love is Never Lost - you choose! If not, no worries! Hope you're having a good day! :)

I am indeed, lovely! Soemone else asked about Love's Never Lost so I'll tell you about King & Court! ((WiP ask game is here!)

It's set early on in the series, and is basically about Merlin deciding to make sure Lancelot stays as a knight, and how that affects the politics of Camelot and gathers Arthur's knights to him sooner. I've got about 15 chapters in my drafts over on Patreon at teh moment, and it's probably going to be the fic I focus on after Hiraeth!

Summary: Loneliness is an insidious thing. When Merlin looks at Arthur, he sees not just a prince waiting for his time to rule, but a young man struggling to find his place in the world, with little help from anyone else.

The truth is, Arthur needs more than the friendship Merlin can offer. He needs people he can trust: men and women who will become his court and his confidants, and if he is going to survive to take the throne and lead Camelot into its golden age, he needs them sooner rather than later.

Finding loopholes in Uther’s laws is no easy feat. Court life is a dangerous game, but it’s one Merlin has every intention of winning so that Arthur can have knights of his choosing by his side.

And then there is the matter of his magic…

And a snippet below the cut, to spare people's dashes a bit! From chapter eight, jsut after the griffin has been slain.

If he were a less honourable man, Arthur would have downplayed Lancelot's achievements to the King. Honesty did not earn him any favour with his father, who had swiftly demanded to know in their too-short meeting why it was not Arthur himself who had claimed the glory. There had been no pride to be found in explaining that he had been unconscious, or that a handful of knights had lost their lives. There was nothing chivalrous in the petty thought that if only his father had listened, perhaps those same knights would be alive when the dawn came. Instead, when he left the throne room, it was with the familiar, sick sensation of failure dogging his heels. Uther's praise was rare at best, and his disappointment never failed to wound. He felt bad enough knowing he would have to tell Merlin that the King had decided a paltry purse was reward enough for Lancelot's bravery. Perhaps the man himself would be grateful, but Arthur did not want to bear the idea of Merlin's face, pinched and pained, as if he felt Lancelot's disappointment twice as harshly. He thought back to what he had seen when the Griffin was slain: the two men standing toe-to-toe, Lancelot's hand firm and sure around Merlin's shoulder. Arthur had been too addled and far off to make out what he was saying, but he knew the tone well: heartfelt and rich with sincerity, he employed it himself when making his most solemn oaths. Whatever Lancelot had been saying to Merlin, he had meant every word, and something deep in Arthur's gut panged at the possibilities. Then there had been what he had thought he had heard last night, on the very cusp of slumber. A dream, he had decided: a blow to the head and a stressful night ganging up on him to make him imagine things, but why that? Why of all things had his fuddled mind imagined Merlin confessing to magic? He shoved the thought aside before it could do more than flash through his head. He refused to give it any consideration. Camelot was a lethal place for anyone to come under the suspicion of sorcery. Even a hint of it was enough to sentence a man to death. Enough to sentence Merlin.

#Merlin #Merthur #My Fanfic

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blue-b-bro · 5 months

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My s2 au rambling

It's 2am and I should be working on my paper soooo

Listen. So we leave the break up boat angst as it is. I can't deprive my babygirl of his suicide attempt (it's my depression bias, ok?). BUT. No traumatizing Lucius. It was unnecessary, they didn't commit to it anyway, they just tormented our boy for nothing, so no, no trauma for Lucius. He got somehow rescued shortly after being thrown over board or something. He isn't traumatized, but he's seriously pissed at Ed. (he's not with Zheng in this au atm or Stede uses different ship to get to the Revenge idk)

The rest of e1-3 can stay the same I guess... Ed gets resurrected by the power of love and hope, but then remembers Stede hurt him and tells him to fuck off. Now, what if Ed went ashore with only Buttons? Like, I get people being unsatisfied that they turned him into a seagull, and so we didn't have him anymore, but I find his scene with Ed in the forest really touching.

So Ed meets Anne and Mary and he can realize he doesn't want a relationship like theirs, how forcing yourself to be something else for your partner would just end up in both of you hating each other. Ed calls Mary out, Anne burns it all down, Buttons is there. Buttons transforms into a seagull, proving to Ed that change is possible, you just have to believe. But now he's alone in the forest, so he goes back to Anne and Mary and they go, somehow, to the Republic of Pirates, Mary and Anne to get back to piracy and Ed decides to visit Jackie (since we know they're friends).

[DRAFT: what about them finding Zheng on their way? Like on a sea, somehow. Let's say they were traveling in a dinghy and were let on board. I want Lucius to be somehow there and he and Ed being awkward, Ed trying to avoid him, because he doesn't know how to deal with this kind of situation and Lucius being pissed. Ed also could help as a navigator with his cloud knowledge, he could be their Buttons! Ed could help with towels and actually like it, but Lucius would be suspicious, because last time he saw Ed acting like that he almost died. Ed just tries to chill, tries to figure his shit up, but is haunted by his guilt and self hatred, he tries to not think about it. Lucius starts to notice him hiding his negative feelings, acting as if everything is fine and peachy, "look I'm folding stuff". He doesn't care about Ed, doesn't want to, but as time goes by, his empathy starts to make him not being able to just ignore Ed's suffering. They were friends, kinda, before. He knows how emotional Ed actually is. Jim also almost killed Lucius, but they were fine after that, so maybe he could cut some slack... He begrudgingly tries to talk to Ed, but he obviously says everything is fine. Ed actually avoids any kindness, feeling like a monster after everything he did, which only makes him more miserable. He tortured Izzy, he traumatized his crew... Stede came back, but should he? Maybe it would be better if he never came back, if they left him to die there...

Idk how to go there, but I want Lucius to help Ed deal with his emotions, knowing that Lucius is the emotionally intelligent one, and was helping him like this in the past. He wouldn't be so nice to him as before, still keeping a grudge, but he's too empathetic to just ignore him. Lucius gets to know how twisted Ed's coping mechanisms are and how lost he is, they get to know each other better (Lucius always knowing who he is vs Ed just starting to discover that).

MEANWHILE Stede and Izzy could have the same adventures as e4-5 (I guess idk what to make Stede do in this version of e4, but idc rn). Stede and Izzy could bond and have more interactions with the crew. I'd also love to see more of whatever that gaze Izzy gave Stede in "Bonnet, we need to go" scene. Izzy realizing his life could be different, better (just like Ed in s1e4), Stede getting attached to Izzy. I also want there to be addressed how Izzy tries to ignore Ed, ignore his existence. How he never talks about him. I'd love for them to have a talk similar to that one in e3 ("Allright Bonnet, have it your way"), where it comes out that they both feel responsible for what happened with Ed, like, how Stede feels responsible for Everything that happened, and Izzy'd be like "oh fuck off" and try to persuade him, it's him who's guilty, somehow comforting each other that way.

Oh! And Stede's crew could be trying to find Lucius. They'd have their adventures, but while searching for Lucius. And also Oluwande could help the break up crew with their trauma, since he's the most emotionally intelligent in this group.

So yeah, Ed and Lucius could become friends and Lucius could help Ed with the whole self identity thing and Stede and Izzy also could become friends (they could go into pining direction, but I wouldn't make them boyfriends at this point, it's too soon), Stede and the crew could help Izzy becoming his own person and developing some self worth as a human being, and Izzy could help Stede realize he doesn't have to be something he isn't just to please other people, because Izzy was the one to see Stede in his more cringe moments but also the surprisingly successful ones (he and Oluwande). Izzy knows what's under the mask Stede puts on around other people, that he isn't so nice or composed as he'd like people to see him, and so his acceptance of Stede would be so meaningful +Izzy's a cool pirate so also that.

Dunno what next, but for calypso's birthday and Ned Low's attack I'd like Ed and Lucius to be with the crew, because I want Ed's angst and I liked the idea with this being Lupete wedding. And it'd be bad to make a party before finding Lucius.]

#My au is so cool :D #No joke I'm having so much fun it actually may become coherent enough one day to become a short fic lol #Ofmd #Ofmd s2 #Ofmd au #our flag means death #lucius spriggs #edward teach #stizzy #stede bonnet #izzy hands

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