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#like. if im having a bad time u know who is also always having a bad time and usually in the exact same way as me???
pap3rcherry · 1 day
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Hi there!! May i request SMG4 and SMG3 (separate) with a very VERY cuddly and clingy reader? (gn!reader pls)
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୨୧ GLUED ୨୧
SMG4 & 3 X CLINGY READER
A/N: this took so long cuz Tumblr fucked up the post and didnt save it till the end... sincerest apologies
type: Headcanons, romantic, fluff
triggers: none
song(s) recommendation(s}: glued / hug me
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୨୧ I hc him to also be a bit clingy, so everytime he gets sad or at least a bit upset, he would use it as an excuse to jump into your arms and feel your warm embrace, your touch simply sooths him<3
・❥・SMG4
୨୧ Smg4 would eat up all the affection you give him, he was already happy that he finally pulled someone, and they are affectionate and clingy? he is loving it and is living for it!! everytime you just hug him suddenly, he would hug back 10 times tighter, sometimes it takes all of your breath, but he does that to show how much he loves your hugs!
୨୧ Imagine him babbling to others how he haves such an loving and affectionate partner, my man would be all "hey look at my partner, they are such a sweet person with me, i love them so much, they are so-" and continue to ramble about you and your cute features (which is everything about you) and behavior.
୨୧ If he cant give you attention he will simply warn you and tell you he will try to make some time for you later and when he finally gets that time, he is IMMEDIATELY jumping on you.
୨୧ Smg4 loves your affection indoors and outdoors too, he isnt afraid to show it, he loves it so much that Smg3 once said for you two to get a room, only to get an "Your just jealous" back.
୨୧ If you (somehow) is shorter than him, he would just pick you up and carries you to his room silently, he just cuddles u on the bed once he gets there.
୨୧ He doesnt feel overwhelmed by your cuddly and clingy behavior, not at all! he is easily able to keep up with him as surprising as it seens.
୨୧ Whenever you two are in a adventure, he is always holding you, holding on your arm, waist, hand doesnt matter, he just needs to hold you whenever he gets the chance to.
୨୧ "Hug me! bring it in!"
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✮⋆˙ SMG3 ✮⋆˙
୨୧ *Insert embarrassed angry face*
୨୧ Do i really need to explain it? this man is simply flustered, but aint complaining... much, he just never had someone as affectionate as you to give him so much love and affection, its kind of new to him.
୨୧ It just breaks him "tough" character facade, it gets him all flustered and silly and ahshshshebsjwj did you cast an spell on him? are you a witch? cuz you making him feel alot of things he never experienced much before.
୨୧ In public he may show himself to hate it but in private he will just eat it up as much as Smg4 does and maybe soon he will eventually warm up to also getting it in public, he just doesnt really wanna show it outdoors in the beginning because he wanted to keep his "bad guy" reputation, but dw, he eventually gets used to it.
୨୧ He goes up to you everytime he is mad or mildly upset too, he looks like Smg4 in that aspect, but he sometimes does it unconsciously, as in "i did it on auto pilot" unconscious, he got too used to seek for your touch.
୨୧ He 100% is a secretly touch starved person, i dont make the rules (i do), so he will hold onto any part of you he can, and i really mean any part, if he need to he will hold onto your ankle.
୨୧ He will brag about you, saying things like: "Look at my partner, they are so cool and sweet, bet you cant have that" "i have the most sweet partner and YOU dont" and etc, hes a little bitch sometimes but still fine as hell
୨୧ You are his soft spot ‼️ like he will soften his behavior around you SO MUCH that anyone who knows him like Smg4 would be so impressed, would usually get mocked because of it but he didnt really care since he HAS YOU‼️‼️‼️
୨୧ "Why are you blushing? thought you were tough" "I-IM NOT BLUSHING! BAKA." <3
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jgracie · 3 days
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wait u are a genius and i want a full explanation of ur analysis on the florida lyrics w jason
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ FLORIDA!!! + JASON GRACE — AN ANALYSIS BY CYNTHIA
masterlist | rules
on the radio . . . florida!!! (taylor swift ft. florence + the machine)
an THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR ENABLING THIS. jason might be a little ooc in this but that's just me looking deeper into his character (something mr rick riordan failed to do). also obvs im not doing lyrics that repeat twice both times LOL also sorry if this is bad these r all off the top of my head
you can beat the heat if you beat the charges too they said i was a cheat, i guess it must be true
there are many possible meanings for the first line but im choosing to interpret it like this - you can escape their criticism if you prove them wrong. this, to me, is similar to when jason came back to camp jupiter. when leo (unwillingly) fired against camp jupiter, the romans immediately began attacking. instead of fighting them himself, jason begs them to listen to him and tells them he's on their side (thus trying to beat the charges of being a traitor)
however, it didn't work and he ended up getting a brick thrown at him and passing out - "they said i was a cheat, i guess it must be true" - while taylor's saying cheat as in a cheater (romantic relationships), for jason this refers to the emotional cheating he did on camp jupiter. sure, he didn't want his memory wiped and to be placed in a whole new camp with the greeks, but he liked it, so in a way he did cheat
and my friends all smell like weed or little babies and this city reeks of driving myself crazy
we all know jason never fit in in camp jupiter. even in his pre-memory loss days, he seemed to stick out like a sore thumb (despite also being their golden child and the son of the camp's namesake). when he comes back to camp jupiter, jason feels even more left out - his friends are all either stuck in the past and incapable of growing and developing ("all smell like weed") or have moved on an extraordinary amount which he cannot keep up with ("or little babies")
as i said above, jason didn't fully merge with his fellow romans. a primary example of this is the fact that he willingly joined the fifth cohort simply to improve it, and im pretty sure he says somewhere he's always been a little more rebellious than the average roman. it also took him a lot of effort to become praetor. coming back to camp jupiter probably brought back all the judgement and criticism he received from the romans - "and this city reeks of driving myself crazy". the verb "reeks" also implies a bad smell, not a good one, so the memories are not a good kind of nostalgia
little did you know your home's really only a town you're just a guest in so you work your life away just to pay for a time-share down in destin
okay so the first part - "little did you know your home's really only / a town you're just a guest in" - again, emphasises how alone and solitary jason feels in camp jupiter. however, i'd like to bring up the fact that percy became praetor within a week (? if not less) of arriving at camp jupiter. praetor is a position which jason grovelled for for ages, only for some random greek guy to be able to replace him after one single quest. why? well, that's simply because the romans saw him as a guest, not a resident of camp or new rome - someone who is temporary and will leave to go somewhere else eventually
jason has been a member of camp jupiter since he was two. he was quite literally working his life away, work is all he ever knew since his childhood was robbed from him so quickly. he worked so hard just to become praetor and so he could make a change and maybe finally fit in with his fellow romans. however, he simply ended up with a timeshare - which (according to google) is "shared ownership of vacation property" - he and percy practically shared the position of praetor, and both saw camp jupiter as somewhere temporary (although jason realised that later on), just like how a vacation home isn't the place you're going to stay in forever
florida is one hell of a drug florida can i use you up?
for jason, florida is camp half-blood. while camp jupiter is orderly and constantly forces him into tight lines, camp half-blood allows him to express himself for who he really is and makes him feel as if he were on cloud nine (similar to how a drug makes you feel when you're high)
however, jason is still hesitant to fully commit to camp half-blood. after all, his father is jupiter, not zeus. could he really be a part of the greeks, or will they see him as foreign too? ("can i use you up?")
the hurricane with my name when it came i got drunk and i dared it to wash me away
in the song, florence welch is referencing hurricane florence, which caused major damage in south-east of the US. since jason is the son of the god of winds and sky, in a way, all hurricanes have his name since they're all semi-controlled by his father - hurricanes run in his blood. he probably sees himself as the hurricane, causing damage to both others and himself. he most likely feels like the piece of domino which started the chain of disasters he and his friends faced, since his arrival at camp half-blood is what began the second great prophecy (for them)
i'm choosing to interpret "i got drunk" as jason changing once he got introduced to the life and culture of greek demigods. he was no longer perfect, proper praetor jason grace. although it (naturally) took him some time, he became wild and carefree like them, similar to how a drunk person may act. this also ties in with the idea of camp half-blood being like a drug to him. everything about it is addictive, the more he gets, the more he wants
barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine
the bottle of wine here is a symbol for camp half-blood. when jason feels unsafe, he chooses the greek camp over the roman to keep him company.
also, this lyric is reminiscent of the great war - "i drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone" - in which taylor swift isolates herself from everyone else and dwells on the end of her relationship with her ex, which in turn makes her believe they were the bad one in the relationship. similarly, jason is often depicted as thinking about his days at camp jupiter (the few memories he can recall, at least) and from what i can remember it's never really fond. the more he thinks about it, the less camp jupiter feels like home. this reaches a climax in house of hades when he speaks to the god of the southern winds and realises he wants to stay at camp half-blood - he drank his poison and killed any tie he had with camp jupiter
well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine
i think this is pretty self explanatory. growing up in the harsh environment of camp jupiter, jason has killed and witnessed death to the point where he seems desensitised to it. however, jason is soft on the inside. he puts up a facade when he's praetor jason grace, not letting anyone else see how much this affected him - "yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine"
and your cheating husband disappeared, well no one asks any questions here
i feel like this is him talking to reyna directly (real ones know i am the biggest jeyna shipper so obviously i had to bring them up LMAO). since praetors often end up being in romantic relationships, jason was probably seen by a lot of romans (especially the more traditional ones) as reyna's husband, despite them never even dating
you can sense a bit of snark here as well with "no one asks any questions here" - again, i bring up the fact that the romans were incredibly quick to accept jason's betrayal of camp jupiter, even though he didn't, and reyna siding with them (even though she knows its not true)
a cheating husband is also mentioned in fortnight ("my husband is cheating / i wanna kill him") which i believe is reyna's song but that's a story for another day
so i did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body and in my mind, they sink into the swamp is that a bad thing to say in a song?
this is the turning point - the scene in hoh where jason makes the choice between camp jupiter and camp half-blood. he lets go of his past and everyone he knew pre-memory loss ("so i did my best to lay to rest / all of the bodies that have ever been on my body"). please keep the line "i did my best" in mind, as healing isn't a linear process and obviously there were some days where jason wanted nothing more than for things to go back to the way they were
a swamp is described as 'uncultivated', meaning you can't grow any plants in it. similarly, his relationships with the romans will never grow back as "they sink into the swamp"
"is that a bad thing to say in a song?" PURE SASS. he's mocking the ideals of romans but for once doing it without fear. he's saying sure, it might be, but do i care? no 🥰
little did you know your home's really only the town you'll get arrested so you pack your life away just to wait out the shitstorm back in texas
this is once again referencing the fact that jason was exiled from camp jupiter after his 'betrayal', even though he should be the first person they trust in a confusing time like this - discovering there are whole other counterparts of the Gods they know and love. not only because he's praetor (reyna is praetor too, after all), but because he's been at camp for the majority of his life
i need to forget, so take me to florida i've got some regrets, i'll bury them in florida tell me im despicable, say it's unforgivable at least the dolls are beautiful, fuck me up florida
again, pretty self explanatory considering the themes of drugs and alcohol i've mentioned above. jason wants to forget (haha very funny cynthia you all say in unison) anything and everything to do with camp jupiter and roman culture, so naturally, he runs to their antithesis - camp half-blood. i like to think if you played a song in his head while he was choosing between cj and chb it'd be this banger of a bridge
however, he still feels guilty. after all, loyalty is a very serious thing for romans. i think reyna tells annabeth something about how if you swear on your life and break that swear, the romans won't hesitate to actually kill you. no matter how much jason tries to pull away from roman culture, some things (like the loyalty) simply run in his blood - "tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable" he wants to be held accountable by anyone, even though he knows his friends on the argo ii are the last people who'd judge him
"fuck me up florida" is jason completely succumbing to everything greek. we all know how the romans look down at greeks (prime examples being the ghosts calling percy graecus as an insult when he arrives and octavian immediately assuming the worst when the argo ii arrived). to the romans, the greeks are lousy and messy, everything they don't want to be. jason has always been this way deep down. he's willing to let the greeks completely fuck him up
love left me like this and i don't want to exist so take me to florida
love has constantly been bringing jason down. he has a big heart and yet he's lacking so much luck in that department. his relationship with reyna was completely destroyed the moment hera took his memory and put him on that wilderness school bus, and he and piper's relationship has always been awkward, ending in them breaking up and dating someone else while he was left truly alone
here, i don't think chb is florida. however, i don't want to say its elysium because that hurts. so lets just say its a magical place where everything is perfect and he can escape
(take me to) florida
i chose this specific one for the (take me to) bit, which sounds exactly like the "take me to" in the lakes - "take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die"
i don't remember if this was ever mentioned/implied anywhere in the books or if it's something my brain came up with and i accepted as canon, but jason is definitely the type of person who romanticises things he shouldn't. the lakes is one of the the most romantic places in england and is a commonly used date spot
here, jason wants nothing more than to just die peacefully (he is the poet) than have to endure any more pain and misery. what better place to die than in his florida? (i read somewhere that he was buried in cj and nothing makes me wanna kill myself more LMAO)
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bacchuschucklefuck · 4 days
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while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best
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craycraybluejay · 3 months
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yeah yeah you hate me I'm an evil disgusting perverted manwhore we have each other blocked everywhere blah blah but I know you still jerk off to me and I know it makes you hate yourself a bit because you don't have the strength to accept the darker parts of your desire. but you can't help yourself and I take pleasure in the knowledge.
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hella1975 · 7 months
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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silenthillbunni · 2 months
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🌧️🫧💭
#i shouldnt have fav mutuals bc i get sooo sad when they soft block me#which *always* happens like im not joking the day will come when they're just like nahhh bye#🥲🥲 nd i cant help but get sad#nd i dont even agree w that anon who said that 'no wonder everyone blocks u' bc im never mean to anyone#i think it's just bc im fundamentally unlikable and unlovable and the time will come when smth abt me#ticks them off nd nothing abt me is ever tolerated i always have to be perfect for everyone so then i just get cut off like dead weight lmao#also it shows that i get attached so easily but in reality ... ppl are not at all as attached to me 💀💀#like i care abt them but they dont care abt me nd it makes me feel so stupid#why do i so easily care for ppl?????? why do i have to care nd like ppl when it's always gonna end the same way#me being me is bad nd wrong and nobody could ever truly know me nd still like me#i have to live my life constantly hiding parts of myself and making sure im not too authentic or too open bc then i will make ppl dislike me#it rlly is that. im never mean. i never fight. ppl just see smth abt me nd go 'oh ewwwwww' nd then leave#nd if it hasnt already happened it will at some point nd im constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop#whenever i realize i say or did smth wrong im tense waiting for the moment where they'll leave me will arrive#ok this might sound silly bc i was like 'triggered' by smth small but like#all my life thats just how it's been. im not even mean or cruel. i just exist and ppl dont like me or who i am or what i think#i can never be truly myself anywhere. that is sure to result in being all alone 4ever. but i dont like hiding parts of myself#but i have to. but its hard when im trying to hide nd be lowkey but i still manage to make ppl dislike me T-T#idek what im supposed to do bc i just exist nd im not likable. i try to be that but im still not. idk what to do#anyway.. who cares.. j'appartiens seul#but yeah it is bc it's like this for me all the time nd ig that triggered me lmao#i mean just w my sisters.. their issue is just who i am. my personality. i havent been cruel to them. or bullied them. or put them down#they just get irritated from my personality nd who i am. thats what makes them mad. nd they kinda want me to just stop being me nd idk how#to do that and therefore we arent even talking. havent talked for a year#i wanna cry like????? what am i supposed to do??????? im so extremely fucking horrible that just by exisiting nd not being mean or cruel mak#es me unworthy of everything. idk idk like. omg i feel so stupid for being triggered by that#maybe if i had irl friends and a job and a life i wouldnt care but im a fucking loser failure worthless good for nothing idiot. ofc im this
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soldier-poet-king · 4 months
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why did i decide my next crafting project was gonna be a kit for klimt's the kiss. why did i do this to myself. bitch u are PINING.
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sieglinde-freud · 5 months
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ohhh i j remember i pulled arcane ophelia when she dropped and just never fuckin used her… i ALMOST gave her tome to odin to fix him up, but…. hehewgahehe laurentttttt i have some shiny new toy for youuuuu come home baby girl come HOME!
#ann cries about feh#arcane devourer for inigo and arcane whatever for laurent my boys are SO IN IT#hopefully severas prf is good but. its severa. of course its good.#you know im kind of winning with most of the awakening kids#i’d say most of them are actually really fucking solid units with their refines#my owains kind of bad but thats probably my fault… i put all my investment into odin instead cuz he was easier to merge#but like kjelle yarne cynthia nah lucina m!morgan all got solid refines#kjelle especially shes one of my crutches for her#geromes was kind of mid but he makes up for it by being a walking ball of attack and def stats#and if i get lucina (WHICH I WILL. SHES COMING HOME. IM NOT MISSING ANOTHER LUCI) he can take her axe#also yeah im still missing legendary lucina and spring lucina#i have the worst legendary banner luck… i always get something but never what im looking for#and spring lucina… WHY IS SHE COLOR SHARING WITH FUCKING XANDER#SPRING FUCKING XANDER GET AWAY FROM MEEE#ugh. anyways. what was i talking about#oh my noire sucks. i pulled a -atk one and didnt build her cuz i was convinced she’d be on the eventual second gen banner#she’ll almost definitely be on the next awakening banner now but who knows when thatll be#time to give in and build her but i REALLY hate her summer alt… i really do#and its like. the art isnt BAD. it looks good. and it looks like noire. but its like. she looks so scared and uncomfortable#like not my girl why would u do this to my girl….#ANYWAYS THO LAURENT IS WHO I WAS TALKING ABOUT YES NEW TOME FOR HIM WOOO
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euyrdice · 1 year
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i don’t think the opinion that rei and shigaraki’s mom played a role and have some responsibility in their children’s abuse and trauma is wrong. i think its hard to understand if you haven’t been the child/been in a similar position to dabi, shoto ect
#its so strange seeing the todoroki family dynamics; bc i get it SO much#like u dont blame your mom. u do for a second; when ur angry; when ur still living it. u ask why she didnt protect u.#but those thoughts are completely overwhelmed by your love for her; your misplaced guilt that you couldn’t save her;#and your anger at the actual abuser#when i see fictional parents fail their children; even if they were vicitms; i still get terribly angry for the children#bc i get it… that thought shigaraki had… why didnt you do anything.. i know you we’re struggling but i was your child#but also bc i know those feelings so well i also know that ill always reach my mom w endless empathy#almost too much; to the point where im carrying the blame and forgetting shes an adult#but anywho i think i get frusterated w fictional parents; even rei; because kids can do nothing. when ur a kid u have absolutely no power#and if the adults dont help you; no one will#and when they dont; it fucks you up for the rest of your life; and you spend a long time trying to heal from it#and you were a child; you couldnt do anything. the adults could. but they didn’t#so i do think some blame for dabi and shotos trauma goes to rei#i do think some blame goes to my mom#but like shoto… i forget all of that; and i just want to protect and love my mom more than anything in the world#it doesnt matter; you just love your mom and your heart breaks for her and u want her to be safe and happy#and rei is a victim ofc#i think its the part of me that lived similarly to dabi/shoto that always feels v protective of children who were victims of abuse#and finds it important to recognize the areas where these parents failed their kids#and where rei failed dabi and shoto especially; and the ways the blame is hers as well#also i am NOT an enji fan i do not like or care ab him at all#this is not an enji defense/support or rei was as a bad as enji post or whatver
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barkingangelbaby · 3 months
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I feel like such a broken fucking person lol
I talked way too much in the tags don't read them
#fighting off the ideation like my life depends on it!! bc it does!!!#been good about not thinking certain phrases but F U C K am i feeling it. i want to turn into a pile of dust#i am so desperately trying to work on myself and change my patterns and bad habits and perspective but it feels like i always fall short#i try not to talk about it online but I'm just. having a very hard day with N because we experience our feelings in different ways#i isolate myself bc i struggle with regulating my reactions and tones when im having an episode but she needs me to talk through things and#i sometimes just. can't. bc I'm not done experiencing the negativity and am not in a place to have a productive convo bc shame spirals etc#we just spent a long time talking and being patient and i thought i was understanding and explaining myself well but i just. idk.#i don't know how to explain that of course i love her even if I'm isolating myself. of course i love her although I'm nonverbal today. i jus#t can't *make* myself talk when I'm like this i don't want to be nonverbal i don't want to isolate i don't want to be a distant partner i do#n't want to fall back into these patterns related to my grief i want to be better i am trying to be better i am working so fucking hard on#being better. i just feel so defeated bc this all spiraled from me not wanting to decide what to get for lunch n using a poor tone about it#I'm about to talk with her some more but I just. kinda don't want to exist right now. fuck dude. it feels so fucking awful when i upset her#like i love her so much she is so important to me and it breaks my heart that our entire day is shot bc i was tired and cranky#i just don't understand how that equates to me not loving her bc she is my whole world dude. I'm going to throw up#i also don't know how to explain to her that scrolling on tumblr is comfortable to me I'm not ignoring her it's just the SM that i scroll on#like we're hanging out watching tv together I'm gonna scroll a little bit. it's just not insta or anything#idk my mind is scrambled I'm crying I just want to be a better person who can calmly communicate my thoughts and emotions#today has just beat my fucking ass dude. i isolate so those feelings don't get translated into my interactions with others#i don't even know what i typed in these tags I just don't want to off myself or think about it I'm fighting myself so much 2day#rAMbles
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padfootastic · 1 year
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Probably unpopular opinion but… James would have been a better parent than Lily, and probably would have been the one to adjust to parenthood the easiest.
oooooh, controversial, anon
i feel like my answer to this would be equally unpopular but i agree with you
and the thing is, there's no specific reason for it, either. absolutely no basis in canon (where we see examples of lily's parenthood, not james) but i just--am really biased towards my boy ykno?
in addition to viewing james as nurturing/like a caretaker, i also feel like lily was the more selfish of the two. and more independent as well. so she would take time to adjust to this entire human depending on her whereas james is a fkn sponge--he'll love having harry attached to him at all times. he was also a lonely child who adored his parents and wanted something similar to that whereas lily's family situation was, well. ykno.
so yeah, i dont know if i'd call it a better parent, exactly (james was almost def the more indulgent of the two, and would always put harry's happiness over everything, even if it could be detrimental so he had his faults) but i do think he was a natural parent and it came harder to lily.
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winterdusktales · 8 months
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oh what a good time to be on the ikon tag today
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bangcakes · 7 days
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#personal#lmao around this time last year i decided to give up on him n LMAO girl if only you knew#i should have just talked to him but djdjjdjdjd idk it felt weird. but he even like. complained one time that we didnt talk all summer#like LMAO..... bro its two ways. u could have messaged me too xjdjjdjdjdj#tho to be fair i think he did show up to a dinner but i wasnt there bc i had just had wisdom tooth surgery n was 1. blown up like a balloon#and 2. so high on pain meds i couldnt function JFJDJJDJDJDJDJ#n e way whatever jdjdjdjd im just laughing at myself bc how did this man become my closest friend from college Zhfnnddnnd#our relationship is so weird. not in a bad way but in an unexpected way#we sat beside each other an entire semester n never talked til the last day like thats so FUNNY IDK#i even said to him that time. bc we were talkin in the hallway n went to sit for the exam n sat in our regular spots of being one seat awa#y and i was like... you know its so funny that we sat beside each other all semester and only talked today#and he was like.... hahha yeah#i was gonna introduce myself but it felt so stupid JDJJDJDJD#i didnt even know his name LMAO#i had him narrowed down to 2 names. bc he was one of like 2 guys that Always showed up in another class' zoom#and LOL i was right. he WAS one of those 2 shjdjsjsj#n e way. then the next sem came n i didnt know whether to say hi to him or not bc we talked ONCE#and i was still wearing my mask at this point and so id try to smile at him with my eyes but never got a response HDNJDJD and so i got soooo#annoyed with him. and even more so bc i kept making friends with ppl and they KNEW HIM??? and i was like WHO IS THIS????#then one time he came up to me n my friends before class n we just talked and i was like o lmao this annoyance im having??? its a big ole#crush BDNNDNDND#and in community college its hard to like. know ppls ages and that day i found out he was 2 years younger so i was like o ok 26 n 28 isnt#bad at all#but thinking back.... first things we exchanged that time was age and i think he was also trying to fish for whether i was single bc he was#talkin about this other guy havin a baby n a wife n i was like o wow !! i didnt know!!#jdjxjdjdjdk god when he found out my age he was like... oh i never would have guessed you were older. you look young ZFHJDJDJDJDJD#oh so you were Looking is that right HJXJXJXJZJZJ GOD LMAO#i look back on so many moments n im like oh duh... he must be interested#but for me its like. i will literally more easily believe literally any other theory so i thought he just liked one of my friends Zhjxjx#ya i dont think so anymorem but i thought that up until like mid january HDHXJJXJDDJJDJ
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8rujaa · 14 days
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okay, i might let people in
#i’ve been nonstop talking to this person for a few days now#like nonstop we’ll have multiple convos going at once and having to use voice messages to catch up to everything lol#our conversations have yet to die since the first one we’ve had#it feels very very very refreshing to find someone who can keep up#and we have so many things in common but like i’ve always found myself to be a lil weird and have out of the ordinary interests#not trying to say that ‘i’m not like other girls’ LMFAO but it’s hard to find ppl with this many things in common#like one or two things i get but we’ve been able to connect on so many things#even like chronic pain which like is nice to find someone who understands#so now i’m like actually excited for the first time about meeting someone#i’m very very excited and they’re so so so sweet#i feel like i can always tell who’s been in therapy because we tend to carry conversations in a similar way … does that make sense??? 🤣#like u know how there’s ‘gentle parenting’#i feel like there’s a specific way people who have been in therapy speak to others#they’re always so mindful of boundaries and also reciprocal#in conversations#we also have the same taste in music which is wild cuz i listen to every genre in existence and music from many different languages/culture#our spotify blend goes crazy 🤣🤣#we’ve only been talking for a week so i’m trying not to get my hopes up but im just excited 😆😆😆#lmao but like even if we just end up becoming friends i’m still happy to meet someone who’s so similar :D#i’ve been wanting friends who also struggle with the same things so we can do selfcare things together or maybe just chill on high pain day#and we will know how to be there for each other a little better than ppl who don’t get it.. i crave that real bad 🥲#i realize i sound delulu as fuck cuz i haven’t even met them in person but i can already tell we’re going to get along 😌😌😌😌#i’m aware of how delulu i sound and maybe i’m getting my hopes up but it truly does feel like i was waiting for someone like this 🥹
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pinkseas · 22 days
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girls who have all their lives struggled with worthiness and have spent a solid decade convinced that they were undeserving of love fighting desperately to be good enough to be loved in any capacity by anyone at all, constantly failing constantly being left behind, when someone they dearly care for and genuinely trust just Very Casually tells them that they are easy to love
#diary time sorry this is kinda :// im just like. REELING#'damn shocked you into silence' GENUINELY YEAH 😭😭😭#like okay. okay. okay. okay. cool. take a belief ive held onto my entire life and flip it on its head with no effort at all. yeah thats fin#it feels SO silly to say im like Shaky bc of this but i have a whole ass complex built around it ive worked thru sm in therapy for years no#but this is one of the only things left that still (consistently) REALLY fucks me up and that i cant get through my head#and not for lack of trying its a work in progress if u will but. god.#genuinely one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me i think this is going to live with me for the rest of my life#or at least for the next decade#u know when someone says smth or tells u smth and u just Never Forget It like its too meaningful for you to let go of?#whether good or bad?#this is obviously Very Good which is strange in of itself but also holy shit. holy shit. holy shit#and idk i try to surface level be. Like This? silly goofy kind etc? but to hear that from someone who knows me PRETTY damn well#and who i have sm respect for and put sm trust in#like okay. okay. okay .okay. okay. okay. yeah. sure. yeah. mmhmm. alright. cool. okay.yeah. alright.#one million explosions#alyalyoxenfree#cant decide if i want him to see this or not#thats always a weird moment of someone saying something genuinely life-changing and then its like oh shit#do i suddenly dump all this baggage on you for the sole purpose of making you understand how meaningful this is to me#or do i do. Not That. and simply carry on forever changed for the better
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eebie · 9 months
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we are deconstructing gender on Google docs tonight boys
#this is stupid LMAO im annotating stuff from a guy from liek the 1400s who prolly didnt even give a shit#when he wrote that In the spirit realm the concept of gender is nebulous at BEST#if not just totally absent#he was like.. ya spirit beings change their genders all the time They switch tey can be combinations they can be nothing#reading that like Hemm…. well 1 big belief Thats held in christianity is that people are spirit beings underneath all the flesh#so what does that mean for the people who are dead set on Sex Organs determining peoples personalities ? idk. makes you think#gender means jack shit basically.#a lot of people raised male tend to behave in certain ways Not because of their sex but because of expectations And norms#and same with people raised female#and that shit goes alll the way back 2 the stone age#obligatory Nothing wrong w falling into gender stereotypes if its stuff u genuinely like!!^_^#anyways i rambled#i would have rambled more if tumblr wasnt trying to kill itself as i was typing#my rambles#my little peewee brain is sometimes capable of coherent thought But calling this coherent migjt be a stretch#bc im hardly in any mind 2 decide if im making sense . its like a fuckin echo chamber up in my brain N every echo becomes more n more warpd#until it eventually sounds normal 2 me ^_^ but when i voice it. the. suddenly i realize Wow thats fucked!#which is why. i usually keep my mouth shut !!!#but thats also bad .real bad If ur opinions always go unchallenged you may as well not even have them#should alwayd know Why you think what u do
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