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daaziscoolbesties · 3 years

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minecraft endermen are really weird. theyre unnatural and make me feel off.

when i was a small child like seven years ago i would always play minecraft on creative mode and i made an ugly ass enderman "farm" made out of bricks. i had an enderman spawn egg and id just spam it and the enderman couldnt get out (so i thought). anyways having them in this enclosure was probably so i could feel "powerful" over them because to date theyre still the only mob in minecraft that makes me anxious. even above skeletons(which i used to have a horrible fear of (the real life ones not mc ones)) and spiders (which i still have a horrible fear of (again the real life ones not mc)). anyways the endermen just ended up completely teleporting out of the farm and i checked on my world the next day and they were all gone and i didnt appreciate it (this was the same world where my brother blew up my pets but thats a different story).

anyways back to endermen. besides the fact that i just didnt like dying and i did like building ugly structures, one of the main reasons i didnt play survival much for a while, or if i did id put it on peaceful, was because of the enderman. every time i passed one my heart would drop and if i happened to look it in the eye on accident my throat would feel like its closing up and idk why. if it sounds like im bullshitting you or not remembering correctly i swear im not because it still happens actually.

i play survival a ton more now simply because i enjoy it more, it feels like theres actually a goal to achieve, but i never really make efforts toward said goal(ya know, beating the dragon). none of my worlds are really created with the intention of beating the dragon, and therefore i dont have to worry about endermen. if i happen to be outside my house and theres one there, no worries i just wait for it to go away. it may spook me for a sec but im fine.

but recently me and my sister started a world with the sole purpose of beating the dragon. we may have cheated a little (like putting on keep inventory cause honestly we both suck at pvp and have died so many times) but its okay cause thats it. we still have to fight endermen to get pearls for the end portal. and so we were hanging out in the nether and made a little two block tall hidey hole and id stand by the front and taunt endermen to get them to come close so i could kill them without them being able to get to me and it worked really well actually. except for the fact that to get them to come near i had to get them to aggro onto me and to do that i have to look them in the eye and you know where this is going. and so i was like "it has been so long since i looked an enderman in the eye surely i cant still be scared of them" and i turn to my sister like "<sister> you stay in the hole ill get us some pearls"

so i go out and taunt the dudes and guess what bitch got the pit in their stomach from these fuckers!! thats right bestie and my throat started to close up and i started talking to my sister again but i could tell me voice was off from it and i dont know why it happens but it pisses me off. like theyre not even scary looking theyre just a bit odd. and i continue to do this and kill the endermen and it just. doesnt. stop. my throat keeps closing up and im not "in pain" or anything just inconvenienced like what the fuck dude its a bunch of fucking pixels. i dont know its weird.

and now this part is gonna sound super fuckin stupid but ever since i started watching dsmp i immediately got attached to ranboo (cc! and c!) and knowing that c!ranboo was half enderman made me really think "hm endermen arent that bad. granted i havent interacted with one in a while but still not that bad. perhaps my favorite hostile mob" because you know people get attached to characters and think dumb things. and then again ranboo's character straight up existing and also this one specific headcanon i saw that was like "endermen use telepathy to talk so when a player looks at them all their thoughts get projected into them and it hurts their brain :((" makes me feel kinda bad for aggro-ing them and killing them again even though its literally just some pixels dude. my brain is not kind to me about this stuff and its really dumb.

i dont know what about the endermen staring back at me sets off the sort of fight-or-flight that makes me unable to breathe for a second but its something. its not the fact that their jaws basically unhinge when theyre mad because the throat closing up sensation happens before that. it happens when i look at an enderman and it looks back up at me and holds my gaze. i dont know. i dont know why im worked up(even slightly) over a video game. theyre still my favorite hostile mob i think (not just because of ranboo honestly the other hostile mobs just kinda suck).

and also i like the idea of how humanoid they are. not human. humanoid. they have the basic aspects of a minecraft human- square, head, torso, legs, arms, eyes. most mc skins dont even have mouths anyways just eyes. but the endermen have these features differently than us. their eyes are unnatural, legs and arms too long, body all one color, one that can blend in, and you can only see its purple eyes staring you down from a distance. theyre basically just cryptids.

despite skeletons and even zombies looking closer to the player than the endermen, they still seem the most human-like of all of the mobs. they arent aggressive unless provoked. they dont like eye contact(socially awkward). they like picking up stuff and moving it around. theyre curious (i cant explain this one they just are, okay?). even the sounds they make are just phrases like "hey" "hello" "whats up" distorted and in reverse.

i want to know more about them.

i want to know where they came from.

why theyre found in every dimension.

why they sound like us.

i want explanations, i want to know why they scare us.

i want to know if they know.

if they know that we're like them in some way.

that some of us dont mean harm, but for others thats all they want to do to the endermen.

i saw a post once that said "what taught humans to be wary of things that look human, but arent?" i believe the phenomenon is called uncanny valley. what if in the minecraft universe, the thing that taught us that was endermen. or rather, the thing that taught the endermen that was us? because again, the endermen pose no threat to us unless theyre provoked. by one of us. the endermen try to communicate with us- "⊑⟒⊬" "⍙⊑⏃⏁⌇ ⎍⌿?"- but we kill them without reason. thats why they dont like eye contact, its been ingrained in them through evolution that eye contact with a human/player will end in death, and they dont want it to be theirs, so they attack first.

we- or rather, the first minecrafters, maybe (in the lore(?)) people before the game, taught the endermen to fear us. i mean we literally kill them, use their remains to enter their home dimension, and then kill their leader/mother. they do their best to stop us, but we can respawn and they cant. and then, some people even go as far as to make farms, having them all spawn in one place, crowded, cant teleport out- their only defense mechanism gone- and then are slaughtered for their pearls. and due to the mass of these farms there will be chests upon chests full of pearls that no one's using, i saw someone the other day ask what people do with them and someone straight up said they just burn them like god what a waste.

"but izzy, players make mob farms all the time and not just for endermen!!!1!!11! why are the endermen ones so bad why are you only talking about those1!1!1!!!1" 1) because i can, 2) this is an endermen-themed post, and 3) i dont like the other mobs. and of course im not actually mad at the players who like beating the game and making endermen farms and such, i mean thats what it is its all just a game just a bunch of code, 0's and 1's, so why does it matter why bother writing a whole post on it?

because when you look paste the game, when you read in between those ones and zeroes and discover this non-intentional lore, it can make things so much more,, interesting. this is fanfic material. hell, its probably fanart material too. its all for the content to see what the community can create i guess. or maybe i just really like talking about endermen and this has been on my mind for two days now and once i started typing i couldnt stop.

but yeah, thats my final thoughts.

we, humans, experience uncanny valley about the endermen.

but the endermen experience uncanny valley about the players.

#time is empty and thoughts are yes #long post #endermen #minecraft enderman #minecraft #minecraft lore #lore #tw video game death #not really sure if i need to put that since a lot of stuff in minecraft is killing stuff but might as well stay on the safe side with it #god this might be even longer than my other post #at least i formatted it this time #sorta #this post went from endermen make me feel weird to oOoOo psychology at 3 am with no proof real quick #and gonna be honest thats not at all what i had planned but its okay

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dyketubbo · 3 years

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everytime i see people get uppity about calling benchtrio kids/minors im just like. but they are? like. almost 18 isnt 18, and 18 year olds are still very fucking young and only adults by legality. sure some people need to tone it down with constantly calling them kids/minors but its not. infantilizing to acknowledge that theyre children hello?? do you guys think theyre adults or something?? many definitions of child are just. anyone under 18. under 18 is the definite description for minor. if someone told me im not a child because im 16 id fucking run because like HELL am i gonna stick around anyone whose going to say because ill be 18 soon i cant be called a minor/child??

what is it with this fandom and being weird about ages?? sure sometimes pointing out how young certain people are can take away agency, but. some of the people in this fandom will take it as a cardinal sin to acknowledge that benchtrio (and purpled, and whatever other minors are ccs) are minors, children, teenagers, kids, whatever. and its just not. like ngl as a 16yr old id be wayyyy more uncomfortable around someone who refuses to call kids kids because its "infantilizing" than id be around someone who happens to call them minors a bit too much. believe it or not, denying that people under 18 (even if theyre months away from being 18) are still minors and therefore children and denying that this should have an effect on how their referred to or perceived is actually the creepier way of going about interacting with content of them, and people should be more careful with how they word their posts/comments about various ccs ages (not even just the minors honestly).

maybe its just me but i dont think we fight infantilization by acting as if its weird to call the benchtrio kids, they literally do so themselves. hell, their stories have a lot of themes connected to the loss of childhood and being forced to "grow up" and act mature when the adults around you refuse to take into account how young you are. ranboo literally points out that theyre kids and how others around them havent taken that into account when putting them through these traumatizing situations.

sure, after theyve all turned 18, i can understand wanting people to chill with calling them kids, but they arent 18 yet, and thats still important to acknowledge. dont be weird about them, refusing to acknowledge how young they are and insisting that doing so should be stopped is exactly how creeps can crawl in and be undetected because they fit right in with the other people insisting age doesnt matter when talking about them. they started young, have had the majority of their content so far be made while theyre still young, quite a few of their boundaries have to deal with them being uncomfortable with being perceived as more mature than they are (ranboos simping boundaries being somewhat based in how hes a minor for example because i know full well weve all seen how people who dont know hes a minor act about him). just, let them be kids, let them be referred to as kids, dont treat them as if theyre already 18 before theyve actually turned 18, please

#benchtrio #general streamer babbling #mcyt #tommyinnit #tubbolive #ranboolive #i didnt talk abt other minors like purpled n drista bc im not in the spaces that talk abt them and benchtrio r-#-focused on the most in posts about not calling them children/minors/kids/etc so. benchtrio post. lole #also their perception of being young and immature is influenced by how young they were/are in their most well known content-#-as well as their (and the adults around thems) discomfort with them being perceived as more mature when theyre still kids #and of course bc they just are young and immature (they laugh at fucking fart and dick jokes)#so like. yeah of course fans are going to treat them as young and immature. bc they are young and developmentally immature #plus often immature just as apart of their streamer personas #yknow?#i hope this makes sense bc people treating them as if theyre already all 18 bothers me a lot #like. yo. maybe we should still treat them as the teenagers they are bc theyre still teenagers yeah? none of this-#-'theyre almost 18 dont call them kids' nonsense. you sound like a fucking creep bestie #id rather deal with people constantly calling me a child than with people treating me as if im already 18+#mask mews #long post

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kiyo-yoon · 4 years

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Hes already bored of watching everyone fawn over valentines day so he's probably spent all his time listening to music. Yamaguchi has been oddly quiet all day and anytime he speaks, he won't shut up about the event. He thinks a quiet Yamaguchi is an annoying Yamaguchi and eventually breaks when they're walking home after practice.

"Why do you look so depressed?"

"Umm...I'm not, it's just...Daichi and Suga were really affectionate weren't they?"

"Well they are boyfriends and its valentines day. Are you blaming them or something?"

"What? No! No! No! No! It's just...we're boyfriends and...we don't really do that...umm, but I'm not trying to hint that we do more stuff, just pointing out and observing! Ahh! But not in the creepy way! Just th-umm?"

Yamaguchis rambling would be interrupted by Tsukkishima suddenly placing his headphones on him. He would get to listen to some metal band playing for two seconds before the blonde would lean over and kiss him.

"Valentines is about love isnt it? I love music so...so take what I love. Here, J-just listen and shut up..."

And he would walk away with a blush on his face, but never allow Yamaguchi to see it! Meanwhile, Yamaguchi is literally dying on the spot, face red and hands shaking and lips tingling. Plus he's got to listen through Tsukkis headphones which is a bonus!

All day, he's been watching couples get together and give each other gifts and cards and even kisses. During breaks between classes, he cant help but point out a new couple that's gotten together, or even someone who's been kissed or hugged...

They had a short practice of volleyball today, but he couldn't even concentrate because he's been busy admiring Suga and Daichis affectionate teasing and behaviour. He's totally jealous, but doesn't show it and as a result, realises that his own boyfriend has actually forgot what day it is. They all leave Asahi and Noya to lock up and on the way home, Tsukki finally breaks and asks him what's up.

He explains and then totally freaks out when Tsukki thinks hes not happy for Suga and Daichi. His freaking out disappears when Tsukki gives him headphones and a kiss and...that's enough for him, really.

"I can't believe Tsukki just-oh my g-!"

"What did you say? Something wrong?"

"No! Sorry Tsukki!"

Considering that they're already a couple, Daichi plans out the perfect day for them. His parents are away on holiday for a week, so he's pretty keen to get Suga at his house. He's been admittedly more lovey dovey than usual and after giving Asahi a pep talk for later, he takes Suga out of practice and out to town. He takes him to a cake shop where they would have cake and whilst he's ordering, Sugas waiting at the table.

Daichi is totally known for his jealous nature and when he returns to the table and spots some drunk delinquent high schooler, with an arm draped around Suga, he politely tells the guy to...go away.

And of course when he doesnt, Daichi would provoke him until the delinquent ends up trying to start a fight. The cake shop owner ends up kicking all three of them out and Daichi storms away in a mood because everything's been ruined until Suga stops him and grabs him into a hug.

"Sorry...I guess I just wanted today to be...perfect..."

And after a bit of reassurance from Suga, a cheeky innuendo, they end up sharing a smooch and head back to Daichis.

Suga would be the type to constantly tease Daichi for not getting everything right, it's in his nature to be cheeky. He succeeds in making Daichi blush when he lies and says he's upset for not getting flowers. Where's his kiss and hug? He didn't even get him a card? Heartbroken...

Still, Its cute that Daichi is dedicated anyways. Suga would probably be the type to leave a longing kiss, enough for Daichi to remember long in class. He's been listening to his boyfriend mumble their plans to himself and he's totally flustered with that because that's just adorable.

At the end of practice, they walk towards a cake shop, hands joined together and Suga sits down at a booth whilst he's waiting for Daichi to come back with cake. Suddenly theres a weight on his shoulder and he realises it's a teenager, maybe his age? And...yep, definitely drunk and now rambling about anything and everything.

After a few attempts of trying to get this guys arm off him, the guy is refusing to budge and Daichi is standing there and then the pair start arguing and before they know it, the owner of the shop has kicked them all out. Suga ends up chasing Daichi down the street when he storms away in a huff.

"Oi wait up! Daichi! Oi!"

Daichi rambles on about how he wanted today to go perfectly and then Suga pulls him and hugs him again.

"Today was more than perfect. You were pretty perfect too"

Suga would bring his face down for a kiss and then squeeze Daichis hands and grin and hint that they should probably go back to his place because Daichis parents arent in and the rest is up to them.

All day today, his new boyfriend of one week, Kageyama has been in some sort of weird mood. It's their first valentines together, so Hinata had done some research and bought Kageyama chocolates. Unfortunately for Hinata, he didnt know Kageyama is...allergic to nuts and therefore couldn't eat it.

Practice was short that day so Kageyama decided to use the special date as...their official first date together. Hinata is still wondering why the heck his boyfriend is in a bad mood until he spots an arcade poster and teases Kageyama that he would beat him in all the games.

Challenge accepted.

They head to the arcade and after constant arguing about the other somehow cheating, they go to the coin slot machine because...its impossible to cheat on that game. Hinata spots an adorable keychain of a nose with kawaii eyes and tries his best to get it. He fails, watches Kageyama get it and when Kageyama does, Hinata has to scream at him that the keychain is not ugly, it's cute!

On their way home, Hinata is about to split ways from Kageyama when Kageyama gets all sad and moody.

"I'm not just saying it though! I'm serious!"

"Really?"

Hinata would nod with a smile.

"This is my favourite day with you!"

Kageyama would surprise him by tossing the nose keychain over and after listening to Kageyama have some sort of weird battle with himself, Hinata would try something they've never done before.

Kiss...

Except...they've never done it, Hinata doesnt know how to and he's too short to reach Kageyama. Kageyama leans down because Hinata is making some weird face and Hinata pushes himself up on his toes and kisses Kageyama on the cheek.

The lips are too far for their early stage relationship right now.

But his face turns scarlet and he cycles away home and turns around and laughs when he sees Kageyama wobble in his steps. Not bad for a first valentines.

So as soon as he wakes up, Kageyama NEEDS to plan out today since he and Hinata just got together last week. Only problem is...he's utterly clueless. What's he supposed to get Hinata? Flowers? Chocolates? Those are normal...if you're a girl.

Still, he's unsure but decides to just let today go with the flow. At school, Hinatas been commenting on his 'scary' face which, rude, it's the face he was born with. Hinata tries to give him chocolates but...hes allergic to those specific ones..oops.

He's still pretty much clueless, decides at the last minute that maybe he should do extra volleyball practice because Hinata likes that, only for Nishinoya to explain that he and Asahi are locking up instead. They havent been on a date yet so...maybe a date would be pretty good for today?

So on their walk after school, thankfully Hinata finds something for them to do! He finds a poster for a new arcade that's opened and he literally just called him a loser...

Challenge accepted!

Hinata somehow wins the air hockey game three times in a row, cheating obviously, until they both settle on a coin slot game. No way Hinata could cheat on that...

He doesn't, but now Hinata has a new motive and that's to get the most ugliest nose keychain in the world...it even has kawaii eyes on it, as if that'll make it look cute.

In the end, Hinata doesn't win the keychain, but he does instead. He keeps it for a while because...is he supposed to give it to him right now? Later?

They end up walking to a certain path that they'll split ways when Kageyama finally decides to hand over the ugly stupid keychain that makes Hinata smile so much.

"Yeah, just keep it, or throw it away, or keep it..."

And then Hinata would surprise him by making some sort of...weird face by widening his eyes and suddenly theres lips on his cheek and...wow, they technically just kinda kissed in some sort of weird way...

Before he knows it, Hinatas cycled away and he needs to walk home and...wow, his legs are so wobbly right now.

Thank God Hinata can't see his embarrassing smile right now.

Hopefully valentines will be the same next year.

She's not really bothered about valentines to be honest. She's just getting right into her studies and managing the volleyball team etc...

During school, she spots several couples acting all loved up because of the day and...well, she just passes by. She's not one for poking around in anyones personal business, even if it is just something silly like receiving a box of chocolates.

Her only thought right now is...why is she the manager of a ridiculous childish volleyball team?

Because it certainly looks like Tanaka is proposing to Nishinoya and the libero is hiding some sort of letter behind his back. Oh. Tanaka is using his girl voice...isnt it usually the guy who proposes?

Still, she cant help but let out an adorable giggle which attracts Tanakas attention and suddenly, he's bounding over towards her with his face flushed red. He shouts her name loudly, once exactly and then suddenly retracts and spins around and sprints out the hallway.

What...just happened?

Later, at practice, Kiyoko ends up getting a call from her mum, warning her that it's still quite dark at night so she was to be careful.

Tanaka, being the loud person with a heightened sense of hearing, decides to shout and declare that he'll walk her home and...well, maybe a bit of company would be nice?

Maybe she should put Tanaka out of his misery already...

Nah, she's way too playful like that.

"Maybe...maybe you can walk me home?"

And Tanaka? Well, he does his usual adorable cheer that he does and they're on their way! She refuses to let him hold her bag though, shes self independent that way.

Its decided as soon as the clock struck midnight and its valentines, but he decides that he wants to make today a day that Kiyoko will remember!

Obviously he'll get the bro advice from Nishinoya since he has also asked for some advice. So, he ends up heading to school, bumps into Nishinoya who is...screaming about a letter that was posted through his door that morning and Tanaka can only snort at the original poem that's been written inside.

He advises his bro that he should totally just let it play out, be all romantic and even does a simple drama performance for him to follow. And then...Kiyoko is standing there looking perfect as per usual and she blinks twice and suddenly, his feet have left the floor, ready to shout for Kiyoko to hear his confession!

Wait

Hes supposed to be all suave and romantic, especially on the most romantic day of the year. So he stops, clears his throat and spins around and sprints out of there, embarrassed! He was totally NOT cool!

Later at practice, he hears Kiyoko mention that they'll be finishing up soon and then answers her phone. Tanaka just so happens to be standing nearby and hears Kiyokos mother mention how dangerous the streets are because it's still quite dark. This could be his chance!

He could totally walk her home, right? At least occupy her?

"Oi! Kiyoko! I can walk you home if you want!"

For a second, it seems like shes gonna just ignore him again, but then she gives him the most adorable tiny smile ever and nods ever so slightly.

"Maybe...maybe you can walk me home?"

Then hes ready to run away because Kiyoko ignoring him is pretty hot but-hang on, she just said...

Yes!

"Spending valentines with Kiyoko!"

She smiles again and he notices her bag and holds a hand out.

"I'll carry your bag!"

"No thanks"

Where to begin?

Asahi ends up having a nightmare of a valentines! Hes spent every single day of being in Nishinoyas presence, debating whether he should confess to him or not. He ends up asking for Asahi and Sugas advice over the phone for several nights before he finally comes up with the idea.

A letter? That's pretty basic and even Nishinoya should understand the concept behind that. So he wrote one out, maybe the original poem was too much but he had too many things to say and a poem sounds like it should be enough to express his feelings.

He slides it into Nishinoyas foot locker and sprints away before the said boy comes in and catches him. Now he just needs to wait.

So naturally, in class, he cant concentrate. He cant focus on any of his schoolwork and Suga ends up flicking him on the back of the head with a rubber during class because he can literally see Asahi shaking that much...

Why did he ask Nishinoya to stay behind after practice again? Why did he write that? Nishinoya probably wants a different valentines. What if he rejects him? What if he decides that he just...oh god. What if he quits the team? Never speaks to him again? Could he be reading all of Noyas signals wrong?

Something hard hits the back of his head again and he turns around and theres Suga again with his criticising look. The teacher yells and he turns back around with an apology. How embarrassing.

Later, at practice, he's ready to freak out again because Kageyama asks Nishinoya if he and Hinata could lock up. They'd recently become a couple...what if Noya said yes? Asahi wouldnt be able to give his confession...

Thankfully, Noya says no with an apology and then a short explanation that he and Asahi would do it instead. Then Daichi is running over and patting Asahi on the back with a calm 'Try not to freak out. Dont worry, just worry about Suga if you do end up chickening out' and then hes away again!

When it's just the two of them, they clean up together, quietly until Nishinoya finally pulls out the letter from his bag and looks up at Asahi.

"This letter..."

And of course...he freaks out.

"Umm! Oh! It's just...you dont have to read it, well even though it looks like you already have, but it's not worth reading, I suppose you could just look at it as a joke if you want to, but even though it's real...I'm sorry if it wasted your time!"

And to his surprise, Nishinoya only laughs and wiggles the letter in his hand.

"It didn't waste my time, but...are you serious? About your feelings...about you liking me since I was a first year?"

"Mhmm! Of course! I just...sorry, that probably sounded creepy!"

"Eh? No! No of course not!"

"But it's the truth! I'm completely honest! You...you're the best person to have ever come into my life so...so please hear my confession! I...I love you Noya!"

He's pretty sure he hears Noya chuckle for a bit and he wishes he could see him, but suddenly tears are building in his eyes and the thought of rejection from Nishinoya of all people is enough to make him cry.

His body is suddenly falling forwards, Noya is falling backwards because hes grabbed onto him but Asahi is fast, so he loops his arms around Noya and straightens them up so they're standing. Noya grins and then pushes forwards for a hug and presses his forehead against Asahis forehead, his blonde fringe pushing against the aces headband. Asahi can only sigh in relief because thank god...he couldn't imagine going on in life if this turned out differently.

He's never really thought about valentines to be honest. He's always had one person in mind and he's pretty sure that's rude to try and confess to your upperclassmen. Sure he plays along with Tanaka to protect Kiyoko, but its more of a...let's protect the girl because guys are creepy predators kinda thing...

Anyways, he heads to school like a normal day, changes shoes and...is that a letter?

It totally is!

Someone just...this is definitely Asahis handwriting! This was a dream, right? If so, please dont wake him up!

He reads the inside, smiles at the cute poem and when he realises theres a message asking to stay behind after practice so they could talk, he fist pumps the air and rushes to find Tanaka.

He shows him the letter, asks for advice and all Tanaka does is simply tell him to let the day play it out, just like a volleyball game. He even gets down on one knee and pretends to propose, as if that'll happen today.

Still, he keeps it in mind, not for...future reasons...

He watches Tanaka sprint over to Kiyoko within seconds and then run away and remembers that he and Tanaka were on the phone last night. The future ace had declared that he wanted valentines to go perfectly for Kiyoko, so he would act like the perfect gentleman!

Still, he waves to Kiyoko and heads to class.

The rest of the day, he doesnt see Asahi which isnt much of a surprise since they're in different years. He has caught sight of Suga and Daichi kissing at some point and frowns.

If he and Asahi were to get together, there would surely be a lot of looks. People already mistook him as an elementary kid and Asahi as a grown man who is also apparently a delinquent. But hey, when was he to care about looks?

He looks away from Suga and Daichi in the distance and lightly pats his burning cheeks twice before shaking his head. He liked Asahi, no, he loved Asahi! He'd admired the man from day one!

So when it comes to the end of practice which is cut fairly short, he has to quickly explain to Kageyama that he and Asahi would be locking up instead. Kageyama looks slightly annoyed but hey, he always looks like that. He ends up showing Asahi the letter and of course, the big ball of anxiety starts to flip.

But in the end, Asahi confesses properly...reveals that he's liked Noya from day one and...

"I love you too you big baby! Oi! Why are you crying?! I accepted your confession! Baka!"

And then he lunges forwards to try and grab Asahi into a hug but they end up staggering for a bit and...god, he wishes Asahi would just stop crying! He does though, and they hug and Noya really wants to kiss him right now, but hes pretty sure the ace would faint if he did it right now. So he settles for a forehead touch, just so he can reassure Asahi that he's there and...he's not planning on going away anytime soon.

He's there, he's not disappearing and even when Asahi graduates, he knows they'll still be together, no matter what obstacle they face.

#tsukkiyama #daisuga #kagehina #tanaka x kiyoko #asanoya #tsukishima #yamaguchi #daichi #suga #kageyama #hinata #tanaka #shimizu kiyoko #asahi #nishinoya #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #happy valentines day

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hugsfromdad · 4 years

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Lemme tell you about the time I got introduced to a girls boyfriend as her baby daddy:

So, my younger brother (19) is adopted and his biological family is extremely close to this other family that used to live down the street. My brother grew up with the daughter(18), and they were/are best friends to the point of being more like siblings. Due to my brother only coming into my life just over 2 years ago, I hadnt met this friend yet. (Imma call her T)

Well, last summer my bother graduated highschool and his biological family threw him a party. T was there. She came late cause her family had moved out of state and it was quite a drive. So i had been hanging at the party for a long time when she showed up.

And lemme tell yall: this girl is gorgeous. I was genuinely confused as to how this (i assumed) 20something year old was so close and playful with my brother. Like, i expected her to be stuck up based on how she was dressed and looked. But she took her heels off the moment she arrived and cracked a joke about something, and 10 seconds into seeing her, i knew she was cool.

She and i wound up sitting pretty close to each other at the table, and we immediately connected and started mutually busting on my brother together. Oh i should mention that i was like 1 month on t at that point, but my voice had already dropped considerably. I was dressed very nicely tho.

By the end of the party, she and i were getting along great, and i think my brother hated us both just slightly. So, i had another graduation party i had to go to, and so I left about the time my brother, T, and a couple of his other friends were ditching his party to go get ice cream. We all walked out together. I think i gave him and T and the others hugs before I left (damn, remember back when we could do that? I miss that) and so while I was curious about T, I was driving for the next couple hours and didnt get to text my brother until that evening.

Welp.... So this is the fun part.

When my brother got in the car with his friends, they apparently all were talking about how hot i was. He mentioned that i was trans like him, and they all were like "couldn't tell." "He's hot either way" and stuff like that. WELL, T up and just goes "I'd fuck him."

Let's just say my brother was equal parts angry and amused and annoyed and entertained. So he tells me everything, so he texted me everything, and I subsequently had a mild stroke because I had never had someone speak so bluntly about attraction towards me before. Also my grey/asexual ass has no idea what to do with sexually bold comments.

So i then ask my brother who she is and how he knew her and such. I come to find out she had yet to turn 18, so once i got over my shock, I obviously was like 'this is amusing and I'm flattered, but i aint about to touch this cause I am not about to be accused of with flirting with a minor." However, I think i just texted him "NOPE. I dont mess with minors." Or something like that. Either way, i thought we were done.

I WAS OBVIOUSLY WRONG

so... I was the 20 year old who was not about to hit on or flirt with T. T, on the other hand, had ZERO problems with drooling over me. (I say drooling not to boost my ego, but because thats almost literally exactly what she did)

My brother realized immediately how much fun he could have with torturing T by using me. So, he just started snapchatting her everytime we hung out. This semi backfired on him tho because she would then immediately facetime him and tell him to give the phone to me. The conversation that usually went down was something like "can i have him?" "No." "But i want him." "No, T. You cant have him." "Let me see him." "No." "Lemme see himmmmmmm." And then the phone would be handed to me and i would sit there half awkwardly half amusedly smiling and saying hello as she just stared at me and gave me a very soft "haaaiii bennnn, how are you?" And then proceeded to compliment me to the point where i would just blush and then hand the phone to my brother when i didnt know what to do.

This went on for....months. She turned 18 at some point, but I wasnt trying to flirt back with her, i only made note of it because I was extremely relieved to at least know that the person hitting on my was legal. And i will say, she would say some very bold things to both my face, but even moreso to my brother. I think partly to piss him off, definitely cause she was dead serious about it, but also because I think he kinda picked up on the fact that i didnt know how to handle her saying those things to me. So...my brother regularly was shouting at her to shut up and that he didnt want to know those things, or that she was talking about his brother.

So eventually she went off to college, and she met a guy there (24ish) and they got together. He's very attractive, obviously relatively older than both her and i, and i was happy she found someone. ...I was also extremely relieved and therefore foolishly thought that that would be the end of it.

Oh how I was wrong.

So, due to quarantine, i hadnt seen my brother for a long ass time. He was with his bio family, and we just facetimed to stay in touch. However, he came over on Saturday and we just out in the yard.

WELL THIS ASSHOLE SENDS A SNAPCHAT TO T UNBEKNOWNST TO ME.

AND SO SHE CALLS. AND SAYS "lemme see my baby daddy'

i obviously was extremely flustered and concerned, so i was like asking her how she was, and how was school, and of course shes making comments about how handsome i am..and such. so im trying to not have to reply to those cause in my head im still dong the math that she has a boyfriend of a considerable amount of months, and so then i ask her about him, and how long theyve been together and so on.

Well,

SHE'S LIKE "oh, he's actually here:) you wanna meet him?"

When i tell y'all I started panicking. When I tell y'all ive never been so confused and concerned... I gave my brother a wide eyed look of shock and fear.

This woman. This absolutely bold and unconcerned woman walks into the other room, and goes "hey hun, you wanna meet my baby daddy?"

WHEN I TELL YALL I STARED AT MY BROTHER IN FEAR AND THEN ABSOLUTELY STUTTERED AND BLUSHED MY WAY THROUGH SAYING HELLO TO THIS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL AND SOFT AMAZING MAN, Damn. This guy seems amazing, cause he just grinned and warmly went along with her and we said hello and such, and then i basically threw the phone at my brother and sat there in extremely concerned bemusment for the next 30 minutes

So yeah, that's it. I have no idea as to the inner workings of this woman's mind, but it shortens years off of this disaster bisexual's life. I am never prepared for her when she calls.

I hope yall enjoyed. I havent told a disaster bi story for awhile, and so I figured id share this one cause it greatly and equally amuses And stresses me out. I hope to typos arent too bad cause I'm half asleep✌

#disaster bi #disaster gay #my bisexual adventures

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cardassiangf · 4 years

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okay actually let me just do the top three placements for the ds9 crew, okay? okay here we go! these are just for fun & also my interpretation. also i realize some arent human and therefore would have different placements entirely, but you know what? idc. (and no ezri since i havent seen enough of her to make a good guess sfdgfhjh sorry!)

julian i already said was a cancer sun virgo moon. workaholics who are kinda anxious but also full of love and affection, plus they also love to talk. for rising im kind of caught between aries and sagittarius, because they both in nicely with the top two. i am leaning more towards aries rising though for him. moves very fast to keep interest in things & is career minded. it’s kind of a combination that swings back and forth between this unflappable confidence (usually in the workplace) and a deep emotional vulnerability. also, they’re caregivers by nature. his childhood teddy bear was his ‘first patient,’ and that has to mean something. he also repeatedly shows himself to be drawn to people that might be in need of ‘fixing,’ and might not necessarily pull back until something shakes him out of it. julian is someone who buzzes with energy and feels so much at once it can be hard to reign in, but once he actually manages to do that, it’s almost unstoppable.

for sisko im feeling gemini sun and scorpio moon. okay yes two signs with a bad rep for some reason but hear me out: this person is extremely charming, confident & elegant except when they're Not, there's intense confidence and resolve that comes through. and on that intensity, we’ve all seen sisko when he gets serious about something--it’s a Lot. it’s a combo that can also be thrown off kilter and that’s not a great thing, but sisko has an excellent support system to ground him so you don’t see the negativity. he’s also a pisces rising. the same intensity comes out in love and emotional intelligence with him here, he’s definitely someone in touch with that side of himself and that’s very Water Sign of him. so basically loving, protective, the type of person people get drawn too for one reason or another but also there’s a chaotic side to him too, and he’s got a flair for the dramatic (his escapades in the mirrorverse come to mind when i think about this.)

jadzia... okay see my initial reaction is to just. fill her chart with fire. she’s a big personality on the surface, and extremely magnetic. but actually? leo sun pisces moon. okay yeah, a fire sign out from the gate but hear me out. there’s a lot of duality in jadzia, and while she outwardly shows a ton of confidence, she’s also pretty self reflective and i get the sense she much prefers to deal with her problems internally. like, people don’t really see much past her dazzling outside either, and as another leo sun, people do tend to write us off as a bit one dimensional at times. the known emotional sensitivity of the pisces mized with leo’s capacity to love is good for her i think. rising is a bit tricky, since jadzia also has dax to blend her personality with, but i think that virgo rising suits her well. for all of the fun she brings to the table, she also has a brilliant streak of practicality.

kira is another instinctively ‘oh, fire sign!’ person but actually? i think she has a ton of water in her chart. she’s emotional and passionate and so devoted to the things and people she believes in, and maybe she isn’t used to paying attention to her emotions because the occupation didn’t let her, but she feels so deeply. for this reason, pisces sun sagittarius moon scorpio rising. the thing about kira is that she might hold a lot of anger, but most of it stems from love and protectiveness. she’s incredibly blunt and adaptable, and definitely one of those pisces who doesn’t actually want to admit they have anything in common with the other water signs lmao. she’s at her best when she’s around people who can ground her and kind of make her pause to evaluate things before jumping into action and seriously values the bonds she makes with people. she also doesn’t really care for staying still or playing political mind games and would much prefer to just jump into the Doing phase of things.

quark is just. it took me a minute for him actually? idk he’s a bit of a weird one. for quark, he’s kind of dramatic and emotional but also has this wonderfully deviant side and, when it comes down to it, isn’t terrible at business negotiations at all. yes he has majorly fucked up some big opportunities, but also somehow has kept his bar running for what, 15? 20 years? through everything that’s happened on ds9. quark is a capricorn sun, but it’s balanced out (or in conflict with) his aquarius moon and leo rising. quark is weird, and kind of a dick sometimes, but when he’s not trying to be a menace, he actually has a pretty good heart. he’s a pretty creative thinker and constantly finds new ways to use practical knowledge to his advantage. but he also likes to ‘outshine’ others and keep the spotlight on himself, and he’ll lie and trample over people to do so. the fact that this combo makes him attentive can be a bit of a double-edged sword; sure, he can listen to people when he feels like it, but what’s going to happen with that knowledge? who knows. not quark until he finds an opportunity for it at least.

odo! does not technically have a birthday but who cares i love him so he’s here. yes, we will start obviously: virgo sun. what else would i go with. he’s a reserved person with a personality that errs on the side of uptight; very virgo stereotypical. but you know what else? aries moon. oh yes. odo walks into a room and as long as he wants you to know he’s there, you Will know. he’s bold in his own way, and extremely on top of details with intense attentiveness. of course there’s some fire in his chart, and probably a lot of it in other placements too. his gemini rising helps this out immensely, which is kinda surprising. but also when gemini is ascendant with virgo in sun, it makes them meticulous, fast learners. maybe a bit nitpicky at times, but nothing that can’t be helped with practice. i think the aries placement would also probably explain the underlying sensitivity, because like, it’s generally one of the louder signs of the zodiac but here’s a secret from anther fire sign: we are So sensitive oh my fucking god. we have a ton of ego and pride (and you can’t tell me odo doesn’t have moments of that) so typically unless we’re in a place we feel we can let go, you won’t see it, but jesus Fucking christ fire signs have a lot of emotion under the surface.

miles, who i just wanna lowkey take the piss out of and slap him with virgo/virgo/virgo but i will refrain lmao. no, for him, libra sun leo moon virgo rising. he’s extremely reliable, devoted to his work & friends & family even if he’s not the greatest at showing it? a bit emotionally constipated but he does try very hard and that’s why we love him. is it the placements or the fact that he’s an irish dad? who knows, but he’s very prone to just telling people things outright with nothing to cushion it. this can be good or bad, and seems to depend more on how well the other person knows him. his leo side makes him pretty warm when he’s comfortable, and i think his relationship with keiko actually paints him as a lowkey traditional romantic too. also, these placements make for really good parents, and we don’t see it as much as we see the jake/sisko father/son dynamic, but miles really does do his best for his kids.

worf my boy, who i have loved dearly since i first saw tng. hard to make a guess for him im 100% happy with though. im decently satisfied with taurus sun leo moon scorpio rising. worf is just like. he doesn’t have a really big personality but you also are very aware of him? i wouldn’t say he’s stoic by any means, he’s just very. focused. he’s honest and tries his best to look at situations from a more lawful standpoint, or at least, one that makes the most sense with his own honour code. he seems drawn to stability, but also finds himself drawn to people who challenge him too? he’s out here looking for something to balance him out and put things in perspective for him. whether or not he takes that into consideration is another thing entirely. and i say scorpio because, you know what they say, still water runs deep. you might know what he’s thinking because he told you, but you might not know how he Feels about it. actually, you probably will not. the leo doesn’t really make him want to be in the spotlight or anything, in his case i think it acts more like his driving force.

and listen. i know garak isn't crew. but i love him so he’s here and we’re all gonna like it. this chaotic little bastard spy is an aquarius sun pisces moon capricorn rising. garak is unique, and even if he doesn’t want to say it, he’s pretty ruled by his emotions too. he’s creative, and a grade-A manipulator who can charm his way just about anywhere (provided of course, the person in question isn’t someone who’s been warned about him, but even then, he has a good chance). he’s good a good, if not a bit Off, sense of humour and he comes off as someone who has a personal interest in the behaviour of people. not just a spy thing, but he’s invested--he does crave a certain intimacy and closeness which gets denied uh. most of his life actually. the capricorn read comes from how he’s been able to compartmentalize and commit acts of cruelty. an interrogation that was four hours of staring and not speaking is certainly creative. it’s also an insanely calculated and sadistic mind game for him. and it’s interesting to note that as much as he manipulates, he’s also very easily manipulated himself (see: Everything about tain jesus fuck i hate that man so much). he also runs into quite a bit of trouble when he’s not able to compartmentalize things any longer, whether it’s because the emotional toll is too high or he simply doesn’t see the point in the actions any longer.

#ds9 #star trek #star trek deep space 9 #long post #WHEW

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mental-health-advice · 4 years

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Submission from 🦚

🚨URGENT🚨 I know you are busy with many other Questions but please please answer asap! My mental state has been getting worse after the whole Corona shit started since many escapes and distractions I had from reality hot cancelled and suddenly taken away from me. I have a very bad relationship with my mother who is very controlling, if you ask me emotionally and psychologically abusive (unconsciously) and just overall not taking my problems and her mistakes seriously! ~ 🦚 (1/?) She keeps blaming my childhood filled with bullying for my emotional personality not accepting the fact that telling me to my face as a kindergartener that she apparently was crying in a corner asking god what crime she comitted to get a child like me and filming me while crying as well as literally raising me to believe therapy is bad and being mentally not okay is a huge af crime didn’t affect me at all. I barely remember my childhood. Just bits and pieces. ~🦚 (2/?) Most related to her arent nice! At all! Tonight I had my worst breakdown yet. Im 18 and therefore TECHNICALLY adult. However I’m still considered a student, even if not attended school for months because of constant mental breakdowns on school grounds. I havent finished my education yet, dont know if I’m mentally stable enough to try again next school year, cant have a job, my dad lives right next door and I would see mom on the balcony from his window. ~🦚 (3/?) My grandparents keep distance cuz Corona, moms mom was physically abusive to her and I have almost no relationship with her, my aunt and cousin font have space even tho they try to offer me to stay. There is literally no space to actually like stay there for more than a day or two. I need to get away. Idk what to do. My friends cant take me in either. I dont know how much longer I can keep myself together and I think that I dont want to find out. I just want to be away… ~🦚 (4/?) However.. I’ve many many little siblings. Most teens and pre teens. One a toddler in kindergarten!! I dont want to leave them with her. Or her BF. He was nice at first but turned into an absolute nightmare. I hate it here. I dont feel safe. But I cant go where I feel safe. Please idk what to do anymore please please answer Asap … Location:🇩🇪 Germany ~🦚 (5/ FINAL)

Hi there,

I’m sorry that we’ve kept you waiting for a reply, however we answer all asks in the order we receive them (admin availability and knowledge area dependant), but if you’re ever in an emergency please see our page on what to do. Our current wait time is down to six weeks (and quickly getting shorter) but we also have our live chat admins on at various times through the week.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling with everything that going on just now, and it sounds like you’re a bit stuck for options on what to do. With every country having such different lockdown measures and restrictions in place I’m not sure how flexible Germany at the moment. I think something that might be helpful for you to do is perhaps to stay at your aunt and cousins on and off, and talking through some of your issues with them.

You don’t have to tell them all the personal troubles if you don’t feel comfortable, but talking through school and work situations at the moment, and maybe try get some planning done for the future. Feeling like you’re working towards something and having their support might help with feeling there’s a light at the end of tunnel, and you might not feel as trapped as you do at home. I think that if your mental state at your home with your mum is very bad, why don’t you try staying two days with your aunt, then two days at home and keep doing that? So you can still see your siblings and look after them, but you also get to work on your mental health away from your mum if she’s making it particularly hard to do so at home.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling isolated from your family, so I would really recommend trying to keep as in touch with your friends as possible. Phone calls, Skype, FaceTime, texting - just know that you aren’t alone in this and your friends are still here for you even if they can offer you somewhere to stay a the moment. Also, small things like keeping to a routine, getting some fresh air and exercise, good nights sleep etc. will be important for your mental health just now and having these foundations right can help with how you feel overall.

With your mum, it’s very tricky as you’re in the house with her and can’t really leave. I would say for now the best thing you could do would maybe be just to keep your distance from her as much as possible. If you know when you talk with her she’ll upset you, try limit conversation. Normally I’d say that perhaps talking through issues when they arise would help, but as you’re at home with her all the time with no breathing space, it might not be helpful to take that approach if she’s not very receptive or open to a conversation.

If you don’t feel safe and need some specialised advice, try calling a local helpline. Likely there are others similar to you who with this lockdown don’t feel safe at home for that amount at time with who they live and they’ll be able to tell you some services to turn to if you feel you cannot stay there any more.

I hope that you manage to work things out, and keep on going!

Take Care,

Hollie

#🦚#tag as 🦚#submission #submission from 🦚#mhahollie #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #corona #coronavirus #mother #home #student

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harryseyebrows · 5 years

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Hmm let me think, how about something to do with when they met? I’m having a hard time remembering if you’ve talked much about that? Like introductions to the family and how they ended up fitting into each other’s lives? Was it a perfect slot or did it take time and effort?

oooh hold on i have some Notes on this:

“Have you ever discussed how Jeff and Harry meet in this verse? Are they friends for a while before getting together or are they dating right from the get go? Who asks who out first? I think you mentioned that Jeff is a beta so does that affect their relationship at the start? How long are they together before they decide to start trying for babies? You talk about their relationship with the babies a lot, but not terribly often about their relationship before the babies so I’m just wondering

I havent talked about this very much, mostly because i havent really given it much thought! or, i did a superrr long time ago via whatsapp and couldnt find it if i tried lol the actual original premise for the beta!jeff omega!harry relationship was that harry has in a previous relationship with an alpha that wasnt really nice to him, which i havent quite decided to what degree or even if im gonna leave it kinda open to interpretation. but the whole idea is that it spooks harry enough that he almost swears alphas off? he even dabbles in a few things with other omegas, but thats superfluous lol i think the other day i said that they met through mutual friends, so thats definitely how they meet initially. but things arent immediate after that. now mind you, this is happening when harry is in his early 20s, probably like 21/22, and therefore jeff is 29/30. and harry is really tentative to date in general, and jeff can sense that, so he’s really hesitant to even ask.

but he eventually builds up the courage to, i suppose, when he and harry had been “hanging out” a fair amount ie lunch, seeing a movie, things like that, but they’re Not Dates, bc neither of them called them that (but they secretly were lol) so things are pretty slow moving, even after jeff asks harry on a Real Date and harry is tentative to agree. however harry figures out pretty quickly that jeff is super benign and non-threatening, and thats really appealing to harry.

now, that doesnt mean that harry agrees to go out with jeff for those reasons alone. they def genuinely like each other and they’re really compatible. but they both want to be able to feel comfortable in a new relationship. harry embraces is after a while, whereas it takes jeff a bit longer, because he’s never been involved with an omega before, and there are certain things, specifically sex things, that he doesnt feel equipped to deal with, not because they’re actually that overwhelming, but because he’s the type of person to think he’s not doing good enough, and to avoid disappointing someone, he avoids it altogether. but he’s also just like.. awed by it, specifically heats and whatnot. i remember talking to jes about a scene in the very beginning, where jeff has this kind of internal dialogue with himself where he’s like ‘sex ed and porn cannot prepare you for THIS’ and he’s not sure how to navigate dealing with a sexual partner who is really Really reliant on you to help get them through something that can be embarrassing and out of character and scary, for that matter, being so far out of yourself for a few hours. but obviously he learns to overcome that lol

i also wanted to make a point to include some worldbuilding stuff, if i ever manage to get to the “prequel” that deals with the beginning of their relationship, in terms of how other people see their relationship, and just how things work in general for this a/b/o universe. i have a mini scene kinda planned, where harry is really close to a heat, and he knows it, but he’s also allowed to live his life and whatnot, so him and jeff are out at a park or something, and an old man makes a comment about how harry should be inside and away from other people in his condition, and then goes on to make another snide comment about how his ~alpha should know better, but obv jeff is Not an alpha. idk. just little details like that to show that its a bitttt unconventional, but most of the young people in society are very accepting, but like irl society, it mirrors how older people usually have more outdated views.

now that we’re moderately up to speed lol they get serious when harry is 23, and harry gets preggo with the boys when he’s 25. but as we know, it was a rather long road to get there aka over a year of trying on their own before moving to IVF with a couple (2) miscarriages along the way that really test their relationship and their desire to carry on trying to have kids together. lots of self-doubt on jeff’s part for being a beta and harry feeling inadequate as an omega. fun stuff.”

WHEW. in terms of meeting each other’s families, harry is an only child. i knowwww. blasphemous lol but i think it rounds out his character nicely. i think it offers an explanation on why he Is the Way He Is when they have the kids, vs jeff, whos significantly more chill, because much like irl, jeff comes from a big family. so while one might think that harry meeting jeff’s huge family would be super daunting, he’s actually less worried about it than jeff is about meeting harry’s mom. but while anne is a little skeptical at first, she figures out very quickly that jeff is a good egg, that him and harry are good for each other. as for jeff’s parents, they like harry right away. harry is super good with all of jeff’s little cousins and nieces and nephews, so even though irving doesnt quite understand the b/o dynamic at first, it becomes perfectly clear to him why j&h are together

#hazoff abo #Anonymous

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stanleycassidy0-blog · 5 years

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bronzeflower · 7 years

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Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

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Chapter 10: Romantic Advice And The Greatest Rap Battle In History

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: HEY, DAVE. CG: I TRIED TO TROLL YOU YESTERDAY, BUT IT SAID YOU WERE IDLE. CG: ARE YOU HERE NOW?

TG: you bet your bottom dollar im here TG: sorry for not answering yesterday btw TG: got distracted by a bunch of other people pestering and trolling me

CG: IT’S FINE. CG: WE ALL GET BOMBARDED BY OTHERS AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER. CG: WHO DID YOU TALK TO?

TG: some of my friends who you also apparently know or knew TG: i learned a lot of shit yesterday TG: namely that all of my friends know who you are TG: jade knows who you are TG: john knows who you are TG: terezi knows who you are but that was kind of expected but i did not expect that you were friends with her since fucking kindergarten TG: and then also aradia apparently was friends with you in middle school????

CG: WHAT? CG: YOU TALKED TO ARADIA? CG: GEEZ, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER IN AGES. CG: HAS SHE DIED YET?

TG: not that i know of TG: as far as i know she is as nice and cheerful as ever

CG: CHEERFUL? CG: CLEARLY WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE SAME ARADIA.

TG: so you arent talking about aradia megido here

CG: I AM, BUT CHEERFUL IS PROBABLY THE LAST WORD I WOULD USE TO DESCRIBE HER. CG: SHE WAS ALWAYS KIND OF CREEPY, AND SHE ACTED DEAD HALF THE TIME. CG: SHE ALSO DID A BUNCH OF CRAZY SHIT AS IF SHE COULDN'T DIE. CG: IT WAS, FRANKLY, EXTREMLY CONCERNING.

TG: that doesnt sound like the ara i know at all TG: except for the crazy shit part TG: she still does crazy shit TG: the ara i know is super fucking cheerful and happy TG: wait when you say she acted dead what do you mean

CG: I MEAN SHE ACTED LIKE EVERYTHING WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN. CG: IT WAS HONESTLY SUPER CREEPY. CG: THE ONLY TIME I REMEMBER THAT SHE SHOWED SOME EMOTION WAS WHEN EQUIUS TRIED TO ASK HER OUT. CG: TO BE FAIR, HE DIDN'T EXACTLY DO IT IN THE BEST WAY. CG: HE KIND OF DESERVED TO GET BEAT UP.

TG: holy shit TG: i dont know who the fuck equius is but what was the damage

CG: HE HAD A BROKEN BONE OR TWO, AND HE ALSO HAD TWO BLACK EYES. CG: WHICH WAS REALLY FUCKING IMPRESSIVE SINCE HE WAS SUPER FUCKING BUFF AND KNEW MARTIAL ARTS.

TG: can a middle school child be buff

CG: YES. APPARANTLY. CG: AND, AS MUCH AS NEPETA THOUGHT THE PAIRING WAS CUTE, SHE WAS ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE TO ADMIT THAT THE WAY EQUIUS ASKED ARADIA OUT WAS CREEPY.

TG: how did he even ask her out

CG: IT'S A MEMORY I PREFER TO KEEP REPRESSED.

TG: that bad

CG: YES. CG: IT WAS HORRIBLE TO WATCH, AND THEN ARADIA GOT SUSPENDED FOR AN AMOUNT OF TIME.

TG: she did it at school???

CG: SHE DID. CG: SHE ALSO DIDN'T OFFER ANY MERCY. CG: THE ONLY REASON THAT SHE STOPPED BEATING UP EQUIUS IS BECAUSE A TEACHER MANAGED TO PRY HER OFF HIM.

TG: jesus christ TG: i wasnt even sure that aradia was capable of being angry TG: she was clearly a very different kind of person when she knew you

CG: CLEARLY.

TG: also i dont know who nepeta is either

CG: SHE WAS EQUIUS'S MOIRAIL. CG: SHE STILL IS, AS FAR AS I KNOW. CG: I TALK TO HER SEMI-OFTEN. CG: I SHOULD PROBABLY TALK TO HER MORE.

TG: how many of your friends from middle school do you still even know and talk to

CG: WELL, I STILL TALK TO NEPETA, KANAYA, TEREZI, SOLLUX, AND ERIDAN. CG: SOMETIMES I HAVE THE DISPLEASURE OF TALKING TO EQUIUS. CG: GAMZEE STILL CONTACTS ME SOMETIMES, BUT I TRY TO AVOID TALKING WITH HIM BECAUSE OF THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST. CG: I'VE BARELY HEARD ABOUT VRISKA SINCE SHE WENT TO JAIL FOR SOMETHING. CG: I CAN'T, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, REMEMBER FOR WHAT, BUT I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN FOR STEALING SOMETHING. CG: AND THEN I DON'T REALLY TALK TO FEFERI, TAVROS, OR ARADIA ANYMORE. CG: I THINK THAT'S BASICALLY EVERYONE I WAS FRIENDS WITH IN MIDDLE SCHOOL.

TG: holy shit thats a shit ton of people TG: when i was in middle school i was only friends with john jade and rose TG: and rose was my fucking twin and john and jade lived miles and miles away from me TG: and you still talk to a bunch of them TG: even if i dont know who most of them are but will probably find out eventually TG: i think john once dated a girl named vriska TG: dont know if it is the same one

CG: WAS SHE WEIRDLY OBSESSED WITH SPIDERS AND THE NUMBER EIGHT?

TG: she was actually

CG: THEN IT WAS THE SAME ONE I KNEW.

TG: shit TG: john still has lingering effects of her influence TG: like typing out eight characters when drawing words out

CG: WELL, SHE WASN'T DATING JOHN WHEN I MET HIM, SO SHE MUST HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF JAIL.

TG: well i guess that development is settled TG: i apparently know a fair amount of the people you knew TG: who would have guessed

CG: PROBABLY ANYONE WHO KNEW BOTH OF US CG: ALSO, COULD I ASK YOU FOR ARADIA'S TROLLHANDLE? CG: I WAS BEING SERIOUS WHEN I SAID I HADN'T TALKED TO HER IN AGES. CG: AND I DON'T KNOW IF SHE STILL HAS THE SAME TROLLHANDLE.

TG: sure thing dude TG: her trollhandle is apocalypsearisen

CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S STILL THE SAME. CG: I COULD HAVE CONTACTED HER AT ANY FUCKING TIME.

TG: i wouldnt worry about it that much TG: you probably just didnt want to risk contacting someone super weird who you didnt actually know anything about

CG: I GUESS, BUT STILL.

TG: besides it is super hard to get a hold of her at all so i only really ever talk to her like once every few months TG: she does all this archeology shit so half the time she is in a place with no internet

CG: OH. CG: I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE. CG: ARCHEOLOGY IS PRETTY COOL THOUGH.

TG: yeah she gets to lead expeditions and shit now its pretty fucking awesome TG: going around licking shit to see if something is a rock or a bone

CG: WHY THE FLYING FUCK WOULD YOU GO AROUND LICKING RANDOM THINGS TO SEE IF IT IS A ROCK OR A BONE?

TG: because if it is a bone then your tongue will stick TG: thats how you know its not going to be useless if you shove it into a museum

CG: THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.

TG: you havent even heard about licking some thousand or something year old honey to see if it was still good TG: spoilers TG: it was because honey never spoils

CG: THAT SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT.

TG: no man its one hundred percent true TG: complete and absolute fact

CG: I'M STILL GOING TO CALL BULLSHIT.

TG: dont say i didnt warn ya TG: one day youre going to be arguing with someone and then youll both look it up on wikipedia to see whos right TG: and low and behold you were wrong TG: you will have to live with that humiliation for the rest of your life

CG: I THINK I'LL GET OVER IT.

TG: wow okay

CG: ANYWAY, I'M GLAD ARADIA IS DOING SOMETHING THAT SHE PRESUMABLY ENJOYS WITH HER LIFE. CG: SHE DOES ENJOY HER JOB, RIGHT?

TG: hell yeah she does TG: every time i contact her we trade stories about things that have happened in the past few months TG: sometimes really dumb shit happens that we tell to our other friends TG: while others are closely guarded secrets that we only tell one another and they never see the light of day

CG: WHAT KIND OF SECRETS?

TG: secret secrets TG: the most secrety kind of secrets you could ever conceivably have and share with another living thing that has the capability to tell others your secret TG: except that you trust them enough not to tell anybody about it

CG: ARE YOU SURE YOU ONLY TALK TO HER ONCE EVERY FEW MONTHS?

TG: yeah i would like to talk to her more but she is a busy person and so am i TG: our schedules dont always line up TG: particularly because of her going to places where she doesnt have internet and is therefore unable to contact anybody

CG: THAT SOUNDS PRETTY SHITTY. CG: I CAN'T IMAGINE NOT TALKING TO KANAYA FOR MONTHS AT A TIME.

TG: its a system that works just fine for aradia and i TG: it would be nice to see her in person every now and then tho

CG: WAIT, I HAVE A QUESTION. CG: HOWEVER, IT MAY BE KIND OF PERSONAL, SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER IT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.

TG: ill answer depending on the question so go ahead and shoot

CG: ARE YOU MOIRAILS WITH ARADIA? CG: BECAUSE A LOT OF THE STUFF YOU DESCRIBED TALKING TO HER ABOUT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING YOU WOULD ONLY EVER TELL YOUR MOIRAIL.

TG: oh um TG: moirail is like the intimate best friend right TG: like pale and shit

CG: YES. THAT IS THE QUADRANT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

TG: ... TG: i actually have no idea

CG: OKAY, SO IF YOU TWO AREN'T OFFICIAL MOIRAILS YET, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HER?

TG: shit man i dont know TG: i just kind of think that shes a cool person who i would prefer to hang out with more TG: but like i know that her job is important to her

CG: YES?

TG: i dont know its just like TG: it would be nice to hear more from her TG: just to know that shes alive and doing well and safe and shit TG: you know

CG: YES, I DO KNOW. CG: BECAUSE I HAVE A MOIRAIL, SO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT HERE.

TG: oh TG: huh TG: i feel like my previous definition is an intimate friend was kind of correct then TG: but like also kind of not TG: im not exactly sure how serious this kind of relationship is though

CG: IT JUST DEPENDS ON WHO YOU DECIDE TO BE MOIRAILS WITH. CG: FOR SOME PEOPLE, IT'S A VERY SERIOUS COMMITMENT, BUT, FOR OTHERS, IT'S MORE CASUAL. CG: SOME EVEN WANT TO HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP, WHICH IS MORE COMMON WITH HUMANS, BUT WHATEVER. CG: REALLY, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TALK TO ARADIA ABOUT THIS AND TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. CG: IF THE TWO OF YOU HAVE BEEN SHARING SECRETS LIKE YOU SAID YOU WERE, THEN SHE PROBABLY FEELS THE SAME WAY. CG: ALTHOUGH, THE RELATIONSHIP MAY BE DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN BECAUSE OF DISTANCE. CG: ON THE OTHER HAND, YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HER HASN'T BEEN DIMINISHED FROM TIME AND DISTANCE, SO IT MIGHT HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO TURN INTO A STRONG MOIRALLEGIANCE.

TG: i think im going to think on it for a bit longer TG: but thanks anyway for the relationship advice

CG: OF COURSE. CG: ROMANCE IS MY FORTE.

TG: speaking of romance though TG: talk to me about your novel TG: it sounds pretty interesting from what little i have heard about it TG: and based on the amount of writing i have read from you its really good TG: so you should totally yell at the top of your lungs about it TG: shout your passions to the world and if anyone gives you shit about it punch them

CG: I DO THAT ANYWAYS. CG: I HAVE PUNCHED MULTIPLE PEOPLE. CG: THERE IS REALLY NO NEED TO ENCOURAGE IT.

TG: thats the spirit TG: so novel time TG: lay out your outline of novel in amazing detail for me TG: or whatever amount you feel comfortable with TG: really there isnt any pressure or anything

CG: FINE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE SO INSISTENT. CG: THE BASIC SETTING OF MY NOVEL IS THAT TWO INDIVIDUALS MEET WHILE IN COLLEGE. CG: THEY MEET IN A TEA SHOP BECAUSE I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. CG: SO ANYWAY, WHEN THEY FIRST MEET, THEY FUCKING HATE EACH OTHER. CG: THEY'RE JUST COMPLETE OPPOSITES, BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT A BUNCH OF THEIR FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER, SO THEY END UP SPENDING MORE TIME TOGETHER. CG: THE MORE TIME THEY SPEND TOGETHER, THE MORE THEY REALIZE THAT THEY ACTUALLY LIKE THE OTHER PERSON. CG: WHICH EVENTUALLY LEADS TO THEM FALLING IN LOVE AND BEGINNING TO DATE.

TG: that sounds super interesting TG: infinitely better than that bullshit in romance novels where they fall in love with each other instantly and then spend most of the novel skirting around each other and beating around the bush TG: i havent actually read any romance novels but im pretty sure that is how it goes

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH HOW IT GOES USUALLY. CG: AS MUCH AS A LOVE ROMANCE BOOKS AND MOVIES, THAT TROPE IS PRETTY FUCKING ANNOYING. CG: IT'S LIKE, JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER, YOU COMPLETE DOUCHNOZZLES! CG: OKAY, SO I MAY NOT BE THE BEST PERSON TO SAY THAT, BUT STILL! CG: I GOT BETTER! CG: I ASKED OUT KANAYA, AND IT WAS GREAT!

TG: really

CG: YES. CG: PEOPLE ALWAYS SEEM TO THINK THAT KANAYA WAS THE ONE WHO ASKED ME OUT, BUT THAT IS NOT THE CASE. CG: I GATHERED UP THE NERVE, AND I TOLD HER THAT I WAS PALE FOR HER. CG: YEAH, *SOME* PEOPLE MAY CALL MY APPROACH A TAD BIT EXTRA, BUT I WAS TRYING TO BE ROMANTIC, GODDAMNIT!

TG: how exactly are you supposed to be romantic with pale romance

CG: I GAVE HER SOME FLOWERS, WHICH CAN BE USED TO EXPRESS FEELINGS FOR ANY AND ALL THE QUADRANTS. CG: TYPICALLY PEOPLE JUST WRAP THE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS IN A COLORED WRAP THAT REPRESENTS THEIR FEELINGS. CG: RED FOR RED, PINK FOR PALE, BLACK FOR BLACK, AND GRAY FOR ASHEN. CG: I HAPPENED TO ALSO CHOOSE FLOWERS THAT WERE MEANINGFUL AS WELL, SO THE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS I GAVE KANAYA HAD YELLOW ROSES, AND IT ALSO HAD SOME CHRYSANTHEMUMS.

TG: what do those mean

CG: YELLOW ROSES MEAN FRIENDSHIP, WHILE CHRYSANTHEMUMS MEAN SUPPORT. CG: I TRIED TO AVOID ANY FLOWERS THAT MEANT LONGEVITY AND STUFF LIKE THAT BECAUSE THOSE CAN MAKE YOU LOOK DESPERATE. CG: YOU ONLY GIVE THOSE SORTS OF FLOWERS TO SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN YOUR MOIRAIL FOR A REALLY LONG TIME. CG: IT IS ALSO TRADITIONAL FOR THE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS TO BE TIED WITH TWO RIBBONS, ONE WITH YOUR BLOOD COLOR, AND THE OTHER WITH THE OTHER'S BLOOD COLOR. CG: SOME PEOPLE DO DIFFERENT KNOTS TO REPRESENT DIFFERENT THINGS, BUT I WON'T GET INTO THAT.

TG: this all sounds really fucking complicated

CG: YEAH, WELL THAT IS PROBABLY WHY PEOPLE CALLED ME EXTRA. CG: BUT, IN ADDITION TO THE FLOWERS, IT IS ROMANTIC TO BRING THE PALE ROMANTIC INTEREST THEIR COMFORT FOOD, ALONG WITH ONE OF THEIR FAVORITE MOVIES OR BOOKS. CG: IT SHOWS THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW THE PERSON FAIRLY WELL, AND WOULD LIKE TO PURSUE A PALE RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. CG: SO, I BROUGHT KANAYA HER COMFORT FOOD AND HER FAVORITE BOOK.

TG: i assume she responded positively since you two are now moirails

CG: YES. CG: WE HAD A VERY ENJOYABLE DATE.

TG: are there any nuances about the other quadrants i should know about

CG: IT DEPENDS ON WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE WILLING TO DO A BLACK OR ASHEN RELATIONSHIP. CG: MOST PARTICIPATE IN THE MORE RED QUADRANTS, BUT MANY FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THE DARKER ONES. CG: TO BE FAIR, THEY ARE EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO KEEP UP BECAUSE THEY REQUIRE A PROPER RIVALRY. CG: THE BASIC STIRRINGS OF BLACK FEELINGS IS A FEELING OF RESPECT FOR THE OTHER PERSON. CG: YOU CAN'T HAVE A PROPER RIVALRY IF YOU DON'T RESPECT THE OTHER PERSON AND RECOGNIZE THAT THEY HAVE GOOD TRAITS. CG: THE MORE MAJOR FEELINGS THAT TEND TO GET UP PLAYED ARE THE FEELINGS OF ANIMOSITY TOWARDS THE OTHER PERSON. CG: HOWEVER, PEOPLE SEEM TO FORGET THAT THE RESPECT PLAYS A HUGE PART IN BLACK ROMANCE. CG: THE ASHEN QUADRANT IS EVEN MORE DIFFICULT BECAUSE IT TAKES THE BLACK QUADRANT AND ADDS ANOTHER PERSON TO MAKE SURE THAT THE KISMESISES DON'T KILL EACH OTHER. CG: SOMETIMES, THE HAPPENINGS OF A PITCH RELATIONSHIP IS DEPENDENT ON HOW GOOD THE AUSPISTICE IS. CG: AND THERE ARE VERY FEW GOOD AUSPISTICES, MUCH LESS PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTING IN BEING ONE. CG: KANAYA IS ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE I KNOW WHO ACTUALLY HOLDS AN INTEREST IN BEING AN AUSPISTICE, SO SHE KNOWS MORE ABOUT IT.

TG: well thats a shit ton of information TG: i think i need my info a bit more spread out and a bit more simply worded TG: although it might just be because i have a hard time wrapping my mind around this black romance stuff TG: i think ill stick with the red quadrants thank you very much

CG: WELL, IF YOU EVER NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT QUADRANTS AND THE ROMANCE ASSOCIATED WITH EACH OF THEM, THEN I'M THE PERSON TO GO TO.

TG: i think i got that with the first word about quadrants that decided to waterfall out of your mouth

CG: THAT IS BECAUSE I AM SUPERIOR WHEN IT COMES TO KNOWLEDGE ABOUT QUADRANTS.

TG: yes you are TG: bow down to the great king of quadrants everybody TG: his greatness and might are too glorious to behold TG: youve got to fuckin look in the corner of your eyes to even begin to behold his beauty and glory TG: all hail the king of the quadrants

CG: FUCK YES. CG: BOW DOWN TO ME, PEASANTS, FOR I AM YOUR GOD. CG: QUIVER BEFORE MY MIGHT.

TG: they quiver before you my liege TG: they are fearful of the power you possess

CG: OKAY, THIS IS SOUNDING WAY TOO MUCH LIKE ONE OF NEPETA'S ROLEPLAYS, SO I'M GOING TO PUT A STOP TO IT HERE. CG: JUST, STOP.

TG: oh shit if nepeta does this kind of roleplay shit im going to need a way to contact her

CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I EVER WANT TO GIVE YOU THE MEANS TO TALK TO HER.

TG: because you want your friends to meet each other

CG: NOT REALLY. CG: ANYTIME THAT HAPPENS, THE TWO END UP GETTING ALONG INSUFFERABLY WELL, AND THEY END UP MAKING ME SUFFER.

TG: i guess ill just have to find another way to get her contact information

CG: GOOD FUCKING LUCK WITH THAT. CG: BUT SERIOUSLY, IF YOU END UP TALKING TO NEPETA, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TALK TO EQUIUS AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER. CG: THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS. CG: THE TWO ARE SO PALE FOR EACH OTHER IT'S ALMOST SICKENING. CG: YOU MIGHT END UP WITH A BROKEN HAND.

TG: what for talking to nepeta TG: that seems like a dick move

CG: NO, IT WON'T BE FOR TALKING TO NEPETA. CG: IT WILL JUST BE FOR MEETING HIM. CG: HE HAS A REALLY STRONG HANDSHAKE. CG: DO NOT USE YOUR DOMINATE HAND WHEN GIVING HIM A HANDSHAKE.

TG: ... TG: ill keep that in mind TG: btw i want to know something TG: has rose pestered you yet

CG: WHY WOULD SHE PESTER ME?

TG: so she hasnt TG: she found out it was going to be kanayas bday soon and she was freaking out about it TG: because she didnt know what to get kanaya TG: i told her to contact you since you are moirails with kanaya

CG: KANAYA WOULD BE OVERJOYED JUST BEING GIVEN A GIFT FROM ROSE. CG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT ROSE IS FREAKING OUT ABOUT.

TG: thats what i said TG: but yeah you should probably message her just to make sure she hasnt gone into solitude about it

CG: HAS SHE ACTUALLY GONE INTO SOLITUDE FOR THINGS LIKE THAT?

TG: no TG: she mostly goes into solitude near a book deadline TG: but still TG: it is a concern of mine

CG: ALRIGHT. CG: I'LL TRY TO TALK SOME SENSE INTO HER. CG: WHAT'S HER HANDLE?

TG: tentacletherapist

CG: I GUESS I'LL GO MESSAGE HER NOW. CG: I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

TG: see ya my dude

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

You begin to brainstorm ideas for possible videos for your channel in the future, and you kept this up for about an hour before someone started messaging you.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GA: This Is Dave Correct GA: I Am Kanaya Just In Case You Did Not Recognize My Handle

TG: yep this is dave TG: whats up kanaya what do you need

GA: I Do Not Actually Need Anything From You GA: I Simply Wanted To Make Sure That I Had The Handle Right Before Contacting You In The Future GA: However I Would Not Be Adverse To A Conversation

TG: well lets see what could we possibly talk about TG: there are a shit ton of potential topics we could discuss TG: and yet my brain is coming up blank TG: despite all my swank this shit aint ready to bank TG: the topics at hand are inside the void TG: were reaching for them grabbing at them TG: but we miss more than a storm trooper droid TG: we pick up a topic and were like oh shit we grabbed it TG: only for it to slip out of our hands and end up cracking it

GA: Do You Happen To Partake In The Art Of Slam Poetry

TG: thats like the troll way of saying rap right TG: hell fucking yeah i do TG: do you want to do a rap battle with me

GA: I Do Not Do This Sort Of Thing Very Often But I Would Like To Accept Your Challenge GA: Would You Rather You Or I Go First

TG: if youre feeling up to it you can go first

GA: If You Insist GA: Here I Go GA: The World Was Created A Long Time Ago GA: And Yet It Has No Time For Your Parlor Tricks GA: All They Do Is Make Us Sick GA: The Stars Align And They Make Me Shine GA: Far Brighter Than The Sun That I Have Claimed As Mine GA: You Seem To Have The Belief That You Are Better Than I GA: But I Regret To Inform You That I Will Make You Cry

TG: holy shit that was great TG: but frankly i have to reiterate TG: my rhymes are slick and holding to a beat TG: theres not a lot of thinking that goes into what im bringing TG: theres no time to think no time to meet TG: just listen to the words here that i here am singing TG: youve got to have more than rhymes to kick my ass TG: and frankly based on that youre not gonna last TG: cause my beats are sick so sick in fact TG: that my old raps are practically some cool artifact

GA: That Youre Raps Are An Artifact You Have Correct GA: But I Have To Inform You That You Need To Double Check GA: What You Think It Means At Least GA: For I Believe They Were Thrown In The Garbage Yesterday GA: You Should Feel Horrid If That Is The Case GA: That Is Where They Were Meant To Be Anyway GA: Mine However Are The Hottest You Ever Will See GA: And If You Say Otherwise All Will Disagree

TG: my rhymes may be trash but theyre ironically shitty TG: just wait and see if you can reach my level of petty TG: my beats made of coal and with enough pressure and heat TG: my beats will be the most beautiful diamonds on the street TG: ill be forever engrained in the earth TG: youll be the one always waiting around for a rebirth

GA: Im Going To Have To Say I Agree Your Rhymes Are Shitty GA: Theyre Gritty And Im Pretty GA: And Im Worth More Than Being Just Petty GA: Youre Admitting That Your Trash GA: You Might As Well Be Ash GA: Ive Won Already So I Hope That You Are Ready GA: Your Diamonds Are Fake As Is Your Declaration GA: Just Pack Up Your Bags Youre Leaving The Station

TG: okay okay i yield TG: leaving the station now TG: didnt even pack my bags thats how roasted my ass got TG: your rhymes are too sick for me to handle TG: like holy shit where did you learn to rap like that

GA: I Dabble In The Art Of Slam Poetry And The Art Of Poetry Alike GA: Not As Often As I Would Like Though GA: Perhaps We Can Do This Again Another Time

TG: i will totally take you up on your offer TG: its been a while since ive had a worthy opponent TG: especially one that beat me into the ground so soundly

GA: I Will Continue Honing My Skills

TG: and ill do the same over here

GA: It Was Enjoyable Talking With You GA: Or In This Case Slamming With You GA: I Will Contact You In The Future

TG: wait hold on before you go TG: karkat mentioned a friend named nepeta and i want to get her contact info TG: do you have this information

GA: Her Trollhandle Is ArsenicCatnip GA: However I Do Not Know Why Karkat Would Withhold This Information From You

TG: i think he might have been worried how well we would get along

GA: I Still Do Not Understand GA: I Should Be Going Now GA: I Will Message You Again In The Future

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

Well, you guess it’s time to message Nepeta for the first time.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] --

TG: yo youre nepeta right TG: i heard about you from my friend karkat who is also your friend TG: i got your handle from kanaya tho because karkat refused TG: he said he didnt want to bring the powers that we have together TG: well i said fuck that and so here i am pestering you

AC: :33 < i am nepeta, but who are mew?

TG: oh shit TG: i guess i completely forgot to introduce my awesome self TG: im dave TG: nice to meet you

AC: :33 < its nice to m33t you too! AC: :33 < how did you and karcat meet? AC: :33 < he doesnt really talk to anyone outside his furiend group

TG: i met him at his work and i kinda rambled a shit ton like i always do TG: and i made him laugh and i gave him my chumhandle

AC: :33 < ! AC: :33 < you made him laugh? AC: :33 < i almost nefur hear him laugh beclaws he just wants to be all grumpy all the time

TG: it might of just been because he was at work and didnt feel like risking yelling at me TG: which he does all the time TG: anyway i heard you like roleplaying with people

AC: :33 < i do! AC: :33 < would mew like to rolepurrlay with me?

TG: hell yes

AC: :33 < i usually rolepurrlay as a cat AC: :33 < what would mew like to be?

TG: shit if were going to be doing animals and shit then i want to be a crow TG: crows are the shit TG: you can start if you want to

AC: :33 < *ac crouches behind some bushes, watching her unsuspecting prey*

TG: *tg stands there pecking at the ground or some shit*

AC: :33 < *when ac is sure the crow isnt suspecting it, she pounces!*

TG: *tg squawks as ac attacks him he is completely fucking oblivious to how this could have possibly happened*

AC: :33 < *ac successfurlly holds the crow in her claws, purrparing to eat her dinner*

TG: *tg begs that ac does not eat him over and over he shouts to not be eaten by her*

AC: :33 < *ac carefurlly considers not eating the crow* AC: :33 < *in the end, howefur, ac opens her maw and asks if the crow would like to watch a documentary about animals!*

TG: *tg stares in disbelief at his tactic of begging actually working* TG: *not wanting to give ac any reason to eat him he accepts her invitation* TG: *he says that he would love to*

AC: :33 < *ac says that this rolepurrlay was furry fun!*

TG: *tg says ditto and would like to do this again sometime*

AC: :33 < *ac agrees but must go now so she will troll you again in the furture*

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Well, that was pretty fun. Soon enough, you both will be able to use your powers for evil. And by evil, you mean to annoy Karkat, at least a little bit. Maybe you could invite them both out at some point.

You hear the doorbell ring, and you go to the door to find a package at your doorstep. Sweet. More stuff to review for your channel. As if you didn’t have enough shit already.

You set up your recording stuff and start recording. You open the box in absolute silence and slowly pull out the merchandise. It’s a rug. A very, very soft rug.

“The first carpet industry was made in 1791 by a dude named William Sprague in Philadelphia. However, it isn’t the United States that make the best rugs. Eastern counties actually have the best carpets, like India. They make a hell of a lot of rugs. This rug isn’t from India though. It’s just a really soft rug. Look how soft that shit is. Softer than the nicest goddamned silk in the world.”

You rub the carpet against your face.

“Just be sure to take off all the tags so you can get the full sensory experience of the rug. Now, of course, I can’t just keep rubbing my face against this lovely carpet. I’ve got to put it on the floor where it can do what it’s supposed to do. Be a rug.”

You place the carpet on the floor and step on it. You wriggle around your toes.

“Still just as amazing on my feet as it was on my face. Though, you might not want it to rub your face against it once you’ve rubbed your feet on it. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. I’m not judging. But you might want to wash it.”

After a few more minutes of rambling on about the texture and color and other sensory stuff about the carpet before stopping the recording.

Time to edit the fuck out of this shit. After you find a place for the pink carpet you bought. It was way too nice to throw away, and pink is a great color.

#davekat #aradave #pale aradave #karkat vantas #dave strider #homestuck #kanaya maryam #nepeta leijon

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rookiewithachance · 7 years

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ok you know what this is getting its own post so tumblr doesnt delete half my tags and therefor half the shit i have to say about this like it did with the first version of this post

personal shit below the cut—nothing bad or graphic or triggering (unless you count minor gender dysphoria and parents not getting it...) just me ranting about my parents and the gender identity crisis im going through right now.... so read at your own discretion

i knOW that this isn’t like a special or new issue.... this shit happens to lots of people, where they’re going through gender identity crises or what have you, and when they talk to their parents about it the parents just don’t fuckin get it. they’re not even like angry about it they just actively don’t understand, and they do it in a semi harmful way.

but listen okay l i s t e n

if i have to listen to my mom say “but why do you need to label it, why can’t you just be you” one more time im gonna mcfuckin lose it ok

she means well i know she does and she and my dad are from a very different time where labels were considered Bad but listen ma, i love you but a) why does what i choose to call myself bother you so damn much especially when you can see that im upset about it when i brought it up, and b) this??? IS me being myself????? that is exACTLY WHAT’S HAPPENING RN im trying!! to figure out who or what myself is!!! but thank you!!!!! for adding to my doubt and feeding the voice in my head that tells me that i’m just making shit up and that i’m taking away from the people who are actually going through gender stuff and that im just overthinking myself..................... because lowkey it feels like thats what im doing. and i know i kNOW that that’s probably not true because that’s exactly what i did with mental illness and boom would you look at that, and my mental health is probably affecting this as well, but...... mER

i dont even know if i can CALL this gender dysphoria... idk like that phrase carries such weight to me and this doesnt feel like its... at that level?? i dont feel like i was born into the wrong body or that i need to transition in any way bc to me my genitals dont have to define my gender. like look ok fuckin listen i have a fuckin vulva and a vagina and mammaries’r’w/e and shit but that doesnt have to mean im a girl. i dont need a dick to be masculine, just like i dont have to have a vulva to be feminine. which side tangent why do i even care masculinity and femininity are both social constructs and are complete bullshit in my opinion so whY DOES THIS EVEN MATTER TO ME??? @my brain what the actual fuck why are you like this

anyways

its not even like.... being referred to as female is what bothers me. i don’t mind she/her pronouns, i dont really care about what pronouns people use for me, but it’s just................. when someone uses female-coded or even male-coded language in reference towards me. things that started as gendered but became more neutral like dude or babe and other shit dont bother me its just...... like listen every time one of my parents calls me baby girl it lowkey actually makes me want to cry, and i dont know why i just feel so shitty being called that

i also just sometimes.... feel more masculine or more feminine than other times and wanna present differently. like im considering looking into getting a binder because i really feel like that would help with the presentation stuff but also!!! theres that doubt again!!!!! ahahahahaha silly kelli ur not trans binders arent For You and if you buy them that’s appropriation or something, either way its bad and you should feel shitty for considering it :)

is this like................ idk, is this genderfluid???? is that what this is??????? idk idk ive just been saying gender nonconforming bc that covers the gist of it and lets me sort my shit out without the pressure of needing to “””stay true””” to whatever label or thing i use..... again, another irrational anxiety but h e y thats me for ya

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this is getting long but heres the thing: i love my parents. i really fucking do. they have their shortcomings of course because being the perfect parent is literally impossible, but all in all im pretty fortunate to have such loving parents. but theyre just. theyre a lot right now. i get it okay i do, they miss me and theyre going through separation stuff and they feel like theyre losing me or whatever but like...... i dont........ want to video chat every night, like we did my freshman year. i needed that then, and what i need now is...... space. some space to figure out how to be a singular entity doing shit for myself and having time to be alone with my thoughts yknow. my mental health is in the goddamn sewers and i havent been sleeping as well as i should be and im feeling overwhelmed with schoolwork and clubs and then of course all this gender stuff started happening :) so yeah sorry if im not very talkative when you chat with me every single night. i dont have much to talk about, and the stuff you guys talk about???? sorry but.... i dont really care. its shitty to say but i just. i dont. i love you guys but i have better shit to be doing than talking about who you saw in the coffeeshop this morning or what happened at work

and see, normally i would talk to them about this. but i just... dont think that would do anyone any good. they wont understand it, and then when i explain it theyre just gonna feel dumb, and theyre gonna forget and slip up and never remember and then just go around feeling guilty about it without ever changing their language...... and their guilt is gonna make me feel like shit too. so whats even the point of telling them about it?? of getting them to actually sit down and listen instead of bringing it up in the middle of sobbing my way through my woes and my parents asking me well meant but upsetting questions and then moving on as if nothing happened

sigh........... idk. thats about it i guess. congrats if you got this far, im sending you digital hugs. words of support are of course appreciated but not at all necessary, i aint fishin for anything im just here to lay it all out in one place. hopefully i get some of all this mess sorted out. if i had more money id just go ahead and buy a binder but im a bit strapped for cash. not broke per se but i have very limited funds and those have to carry me through the entire semester, so....... trying not to make any unnecessary purchases and my brain refuses to justify a binder as something worth the money.......... which again, is probably not true, but.... we’ll see.

much love to you all, im gonna head to bed and try to sleep cause i got class in the morning and i still havent finished the readings ;3

#personal #about me #long post #//fingerguns #im not really looking for answers or anything i just needed to put it all down in one place and idk why else do i have a blog than to #send my thoughts spiraling into the endless void of the unforgiving internet to be lost to obscurity #//flails limbs #im tired #night yall

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unicornninjabitch · 7 years

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You: no one asked for another one of these

Me: yeah i know sorry i just have a lot of emotions and shit lately

(Haha thats a lie all i feel lately is annoyed and pain)

Anyway yes I’m going to complain more about life cause i have some emotions i need to get out and shit. Okay I’m very much a night owl, I have been my whole life, I work better t night and just love the night sky and shit. However 8th grade I was really, super, hella depressed cause of family stuff and school and being totally alone and you know the depression (thanks genes!), so I’d be absolutely TERRIFIED to be left alone with my thoughts. I’d stay up all night on youtube or some cringey website or on tumblr just so I didn’t have to lay in bed and think. Also very closeted, very depressed baby Alex had no idea wtf a healthy coping mechanism was, so I cut and it was bad like an every night thing cause after I did I was suddenly really tired and could almost sleep instantly once it hit like 2-3 am. Anyway I fucked my sleeping schedule up at a very young age, so that habit never left and the earliest I go to bed anymore is 12-12:30, whatever im used to it, not good for me but whatever. Then summer started and I didn’t sleep till like 1am-2am so I chalked it up to “it’s summer whatever”, but then it was 2 am-3am and I thought that was a one time thing, but nope. Now (as in the past week/week and a half ish) I’m lucky to get 2-3 hours of sleep and even then I’m up at like 9 am. As you can imagine this has lead to a good amount of problems, but first one additional thing. Now it’s just me and my mom at our house, but because of hour cuts and paying for school and catching up on bills and other shit we don’t really have a ton of money which means we don’t have a ton of food which means what we have we have to make last. With that being said back track to me getting 2-3 hours of sleep, now my body’s tired and I’m exhausted I just wont go to fucking sleep, but I’m hungry as hell. We didn’t have cereal and milk for awhile, so that left me with pasta like I said I’m exhausted so pasta involves cooking, but I couldn’t do it. I knew I’d be too tired half way through the water boiling to finish let alone eat anything. Also cause we don’t have a ton of money I’d get 2 free meals a day in school so I wouldn’t go a whole day (or week) without eating real food (i mean it was gross government food but it got the job done), but in summer I didn’t get that so I just havent eaten really all summer like i could probably count on my hands how many actual meals ive eaten all summer. So the not eating mixed with the not sleepings fucking awful as you can imagine.I had a headache so bad I had to close my curtains put on sunglasses cover my head with a blanket and put my ice on my head in an attempt to help ease the pain, but WAIT THERES MORE. Every bone in my body constantly feels like it needs to crack and im just constantly really achey (idk if that has to do anything but it hurts like hell) Ive tried stretching and resting but it doesnt help, BUT THERES EVEN MORE!! The not eating!! I can feel my stomach being totally empty besides some water and that shit fucking hurts (idk how baby Alex did that shit) AND A FINAL THING your boy was born with god awful child bearing parts and guess what came up?! That’s right devil week so i feel like someones just stabbing me with a pitchfork while also trying to eject food thats not there. Therefore the past few nights Ive basically been clutching my stomach and head, the heating pad isnt helping, and pain killers arent helping much.

At this point youre probably like “dude just some nyquil” which yeah youre right i should but we didnt have extra money this week to buy any and we dont have any so thats why i didnt do that. Also like I said before I /am/ tired, im really fucking tired and i dont really have thoughts its more like fast and loud static and like energy i have to get out or i get uncomfortable, so the past few nights (last night was really bad) Im up clutching and rocking and snapping and tapping my feet just trying to get rid of that energy. It comes a little bit in the day i was talking to a friend and typing so fucking fast while also thinking about some oc idea and then BAM no energy at fucking all like i had to lay down. This also leads into ive been trying to read out loud to myself so i can try to get my voice lower cause my voice bothers the hell out of me, but i cant focus for longer than like 5 minutes cause of loud static and extra energy and being tired and my eyes being tired so its really frustrating.

The thing is i go to a psychiatrist for my meds and what she told me (idk if this is true everywhere or just how she is) that i had like textbook bipolar but becaue at the time i was ike 14/15 they didnt want to diagnose it cause i was still young. Bipolar runs in my family, just like depression and anxiety, so i wasnt super suprised by that and as i got older i got less scared (theres nothing scary about people with bipolar btw i just didnt know what to expect or think cause of how i saw it in like movies and stuff) i thought maybe i wasnt and i just had highs and lows like everyone else, but looking back i can see that the highs and lows were really extreme and like i said before i was super suicidal last year and just kinda gave up and earlier this summer it took a lot of energy to do anything, but this isnt like doing reckless things kinda high like it normally is and it fucking suck ass guys. On top of that my ever so supporting lately mother was like “look up manic episodes” so i told her i know what it is but she just pushed to look it up so i did and of course i made a joke about increased sexual activity (which my virgin is not) and looked like yes i know. (side note dw too much im going to the doctors tomorrow and im gonna see what i can do about my meds and stuff).

So yeah sorry for another shitty life update (not including tons of dysphoria, isolation, and more self hate but whatevs)

#personal #tw suicide mention #tw self harm #i also mention not eating but it wasnt/isnt like an ed #i dont think so anyway #its mostly me talking about my mental health and being in pain almost always #sorry for another one of these #honestly i might start posting one once a week to get some shit out

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lgbt-advice-page · 7 years

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Hi, I’m hoping you could help me. It’s very long but I’m not sure how to shorten it up. I’m 27 and began being curious around 17~18 but only identified as bi about 23 after i graduated from University. I’ve never had a relationship, I barely have proper friends even. Nothing ever really lasts and everyone is always so busy so these days basically I only communicate online, even with family and people I know through school, work, offline community groups. I’m a strange person, do weird things, and apparently quite selfish and want to do things I like only. I get so bored and annoyed if I’m with people in person and I don’t truly enjoy our activities and prefer to be alone. Sometimes I do find those that share my interests, but then they have little time or are far away so we can’t meet up often either. Even though our interests sre shared, we like different parts (ie. both fans of a tv show but for different reasons or we ship different characters. or we both love music but different genre/artist.) or different degrees of like. (ie. we both love a tv series which was originally a game and they love the game more. While they love the tv series too they critisise some changes from original so dont invest in it as much. Or we are both a fan of the same artist but while they go to all the concerts and love every song, but i’ve only been to a few concerts but dislike some songs and havent heard them all. Therefore there is a disconnect in our friendship because can’t truly share things and is dissatisfying.) I only had two steady friends in high school, a male and female. I connected with the boy because my mom lived in his country when she was young for a few years and partially learned its culture and language so I’d learn more from him, and he was quite interested in learning my culture and language as well. However there was plenty things we disagreed on and didn’t get along otherwise. But he was a handsome boy I wanted to ask him out but felt the disconnect would be trouble, especially his family. Not sure why but we didn’t communicate after high school. I connected with the girl because we both play the same instrument and we sort of practied together sometimes and she taught me as she was more advanced. But she moved away and we could only talk online and now we rarely talk and I stopped playing the instrument for unrelated reasons. I had various other short lived ‘friends’ throughout my whole life we could chat about something here and there but otherwise it was disconnect due to reasons I’ve stated much earlier. There was only one person in my life who actually had pretty much an equal like in something-that is learning about myths. We shared many worldwide myths with each other and were interested in everything each other had to say. I met her when I was 20 and she was my classmate (I studied abroad). I came out to her as being curious just a month after we met although she says she’s straight. I sort of crushed on her, perhaps because it is so hard to find someone who really shared interests with me so much and I was so happy. I never talked more with anyone else, we would spend so much time together, both online and off. But when we graduated she immediately got a job and I moved back home. She doesn’t have time much more, we chat online occassionally and still talk about myths (has always been about 80% of our conversations) but I haven’t seen her in person since graduating. But those were the best years of my life, being together with my best friend. I think she is the reason why I really thought I liked girls too and she was very supportive when I was curious. Now I’m back to ‘friends’ who are there sometimes and can sometimes connect through some shared interests but otherwise it’s just disconnect and we don’t really get along. To be honest, I’m not sure if I’m lonely. I enjoy my interests and I’m happy when I can share things with someone even if a little bit. Im truly myself while alone and don’t have to compromise for someone else. But I’m getting older and my family keeps asking whether I’m going to settle down with anyone, in their minds 30 is the latest ideal age to marry so I have 3 years. Honestly it’s a silly deadline but I know they won’t force me. They are fine with me being bi although they don’t really inderstand, so that’s a great thing. I would love to settle down, whether it’s within this time or not. But my life experiences and personality seem to make it so hard to find and keep friends, much less a husband/wife. There’s only been one divorce in the history of my relatives due to a cheating partner otherwise it’s fully happy lifelong marriages. But with the way I connect with just friends, and nothing ever really lasts…how in the world am I going to find a lifelong partner that wont end in divorce because I don’t even have friends that really last. To be honest, I do have friends I first met 10+ years ago but we talk occassionally, usually only online and our topics are very narrow or just basic life updates otherwise it’s disconnect. True, these friendships do last but we arent very close at all so it’s not truly good friendship. 40% of such friends are those I met online and never in person-most being not in the same country even, 20% are those I met online but mostly seen in person as part of a organized group, the rest we met in person. I can’t be in this kind of not close but lasting relationship with a husband/wife, we need to be there daily and our lives would be intertwined. So, I’m not sure what to do or how to go about looking for someone. Or should I just continue living as I have, ignoring my family’s nag. Maybe I do better as my own single person? I would love to settle down but I do love being single too but sometimes wish I had friends who better match interests. Please advise me. Thank you very much.

Answer: Ok, here’s the thing, most people are selfish. Thomas Hobbes believes that human nature is actually very selfish. You aren’t the only selfish person, I’m extremely selfish. Yes, it’s much easier to be alone and not have to compromise, trust me, I’m terrified of committing and compromising. But I promise you that one day, you may meet a person and you won’t want to be selfish, you want to give to make them happy because their happiness makes you happy. Don’t expect that to happen right when you meet, it won’t happen until you give them a chance. So don’t worry about being selfish, everyone is.

You seem to be looking for someone who has the exact same interests as you in all areas. You’ll never find that, there’s no two people that are the same. Besides, that would get really boring when sharing a lifetime together. If you agree on everything, then what can you possibly talk about? You’ll never have make up sex either. The girl I’m with now and I have nothing in common. She loves chemistry, I barely passed chemistry. She likes big trucks, I like small fast cars. She enjoys stories that are full of emotion and detail while I prefer the stories that are very subtle. We don’t like the same books or movies. I think we only have one show in common. Seriously, we are complete opposites. But that’s what makes it fun. I don’t care that we have different interests, we are combining our interests. She reads my favorite books, I watch her favorite show. The person and their values matter, not what show they watch and what character they like. So no, we don’t have anything in common. But she’s brilliant, kind, and funny. She’s supportive and she truly wants to make me happy. And me, a very very selfish person who is terrified of commitment, I want to make her happy too. I want to watch her favorite show and I even want to hear about her day even though I don’t have a clue what she does at work. That’s what matters. The goodness you find in someone and the goodness they bring out in you. Yeah, you’ll argue and fight but then you’ll make up and have awesome make up sex. You’ll actually have something to talk about and debate if you are opposites. You need to balance each other out. You like to stay home. Find someone who is outgoing and likes to go out. Balance each other, you go out more, they go out less.

Find someone you can meet in the middle. It might not be anytime soon. It might take a few years. But if you are hoping to settle down and fall in love then you’ll need to step way out of your comfort zone. And don’t look for someone that’s exactly like you, look for someone to be everything you aren’t, the other half of you. Forget the three year timeline. It’ll happen when it’s meant to. Start with fixing you first.

Unless you really don’t want to get married then don’t change. It didn’t seem that way to me though. It sounded like you really want to meet someone, you’re just afraid of compromise, commitment and change. I get it, it’s extremely scary, but it’s really really worth it. By the way, this isn’t just about relationships. If you look outside your comfort zone and interests then you can make friends that will last longer. My friends and I have nothing in common except our values. We are loyal and kind people, that’s what matters.

- Nicole

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