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samwrights · 4 years

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Aoba Johsai 3rd Years as dads [hc]

Lmao, as if I was gonna stop at Karasuno. I’m a Seijoh hoe through and through 😂😂😂 this ones a little off the rails but it’s my blog and I write what I want. I’ll get to the rest of Seijoh later, maybe, but these turned out way longer than I anticipated.

Slight TW; mentions of miscarriage.

Iwaizumi;

I love this supportive man so much 🥺

I don’t even want kids and I’d let him turn me into a baby factory, idgaf.

Ahem, n e ways.

Low key, he would be freaking out over your guys’ first kid. Didn’t matter that you were in live-in S/O’s, or that you’d been together for y e a r s.

Homie wanted to marry you first, finally get you guys out of your shoddy apartment, maybe spend a few years traveling the world.

He wanted to live the life of a dink, at least for a little while before eventually starting a family with you. Apparently someone’s pullout game weak af.

Despite not being prepared for parenthood, your pregnancy actually goes pretty swimmingly. Iwa would def be the man to come with to all doctors appointments, parenting classes, and would literally call his mom every three seconds freaking out because he has no idea what color to paint the nursery.

“Mom, I can’t just paint it whatever, what if the baby doesn’t like it?” Don’t ask me why, I just know it would be a fact.

Throughout your relationship as teenagers, Iwa was always your hype-man cause he loves flaunting his woman at whatever she chooses to succeed at. Which made Oikawa hella jealous but irrelevant. Now that you guys were going to be a family, it was like falling in love with you all over again and he literally hyped you up everyday with how great of a mom you were going to be.

Endless comments on how beautiful you looked while pregnant, regarding your glow or how he gets so overwhelmed with love knowing that you are having his child. Fucking simp.

If you feel he’s laying it on too thick, you tell him it’s actually Mattsun’s and Iwa is just a cover so you can run off with him and Makki. 0/10, does not appreciate.

The closer you get to your due date, however, all jokes are completely off, and Hajime is in full on protective husband/dad mode. Did I mention y’all still ain’t married or

He does literally everything for you just to make sure you aren’t in too much pain or discomfort. Mfer won’t even let you pick up a laundry basket 💀

“Honey, I’m fine! Please, I can’t sit on the couch all day, there’s going to be a permanent imprint from my ass on it.”

“Baby, why is the couch wet?”

“Huh. Guess my water broke.”

Annnnnnd cue Hajime screaming his head off while proceeding to grab your hospital bag packed with clothes, a spare aux cable, and your toiletries, before rushing out to the car, starting it, and driving to the hospital.

Without you.

With that being his only major faux pas, Iwaizumi welcomes fatherhood with open arms. Sure, y’all didn’t have your house yet and a wedding was going to be difficult to plan (though if you’re down for the courthouse, he was in), and he didn’t have enough saved to buy you a ring that screamed “Mrs. Iwaizumi” to him.

But in the mean time, he could not get enough of his girls. Even little things like feeding your daughter or watching tv with her in his arms with you snuggling up to his side made him the absolute softest boy.

It may not have been his ideal situation in the past, but now all he looked forward to was watching your family continue to grow with a few more hopeful additions.

Oikawa;

Well this is awkward. You and Tooru I mean Oikawa broke up a few months ago. Not that it was a particularly bad break up; definitely more on the mutual side.

You wanted to continue pursuing your dreams and he wanted to carry on being a Pro. (Personally, I picture Oikawa being with a musician of some sort that posts covers of YouTube).

So even though you guys aren’t together anymore, you still keep up with how he’s doing in the pro VB world and he low key still watches your covers on the internet.

Your posting becomes less and less frequent, he notices over the span of a few months until you stop uploading all together. He thinks nothing of it until he gets a notification that you’ve finally uploaded a video. Two. Years. Later.

“Where we’ve been.” He doesn’t miss the collective pronoun before clicking on the video, seeing you standing with your guitarist, the former Nekoma VBC captain, Tetsurou Kuroo, as well as a cute, pudgy baby.

A baby that looked nothing like Kuroo and a whole lot like Oikawa did when he was a baby.

The video talks about your hiatus, as well as how you and your now boyfriend/guitarist were enjoying your life as parents and making music was hard with your little boy, and that the two of you needed to prioritize your son first. you introduce your baby, but the first thing Oikawa discovers is that the age of your baby and the duration of yours and Kuroo’s relationship didn’t add up. Don’t ask me why Oikawa knows how long you’ve been together, he has his resources.

Considering the toddler was two, and you and Kuroo had been together for a year. And the baby didn’t look anything like you OR him

Oikawa is flipping out now, and tries everything in his power to get a hold of you. Which oddly enough, wasn’t that hard considering your number is still the same.

“Did you finally figure it out?” Was all you said to him. He’s so upset that you didn’t tell him—that could have been him. Standing with you. Holding his baby—not bed headed fuck holding HIS son.

After FTing him, you, Oikawa, and Kuroo agreed to set up a meeting with all of you so Oikawa could finally meet his flesh and blood. He’s excited, but man oh man is he salty.

He missed his son’s first steps, first meal, holding him, teaching him how to walk, his first words; he missed ALL of it.

But the bitterness he feels completely goes away when he sees baby Oik’s in person for the first time. He had never, in his entire twenty three years of living, been in love until now. Despite your hesitation, you allow Tooru to hold his child for the entirety of your little meeting, allowing him to make up for lost years.

The three of you agreed on a form of joint custody that allowed Oikawa to have his son while you toured or were busy working, and you would have him while he was out doing his thing.

TL;DR, Oikawa takes the opportunity to make up his lost years spoiling the fuck out of his baby when he can and, oddly enough, the arrangement works out to benefit the both of you.

Ngl, parenthood is hard for him. Not because he doesn’t know how to parent, but rather because he never pictured his first child to come about this way. He would never admit it to anybody, not even Iwa, that knowing he had a child that he was barely a father to left him feeling lonely. That loneliness, however, motivates him to truly be the best dad that can be so that maybe when his son his old enough, he would rather live with him instead of his mom

Ofc, he teaches his offspring how to play volleyball as soon as he’s old enough to learn. But outside of that, Oikawa’s favorite thing to do with his son is little quiet nature walks away from the bustling city to have quality time with him.

Hanamaki;

This chill mfer 💀💀💀 for some reason, I feel like his love language is touch.

Your relationship with him was so simple, even after moving in together in your second year of college, years ago.

Well, it was simple.

As simple as life could be with four demons overrunning your house.

Due to the number of children the two of you had, with all of them being no more than two years apart in age, you became a stay-at-home mom, leaving Makki to provide for the six of you.

Because of your hellions wreaking havoc on you all day, Takahiro always wound down from work with the kids by putting on a movie and even reciting the script in his own voice to keep them entertained. Allowing you to go wind down with a glass of wine while you took a bubble bath.

Your oldest was Makki’s right hand man at the ripe age of 7. He always made sure that, as the big brother, he was looking out for his siblings and being the man of the house to help mommy while he worked.

Makki never raises his voice at the kids. Ever. Period.

If he’s upset with them or they did something they weren’t supposed to, he resolves the issue by picking them up, sitting down on the couch with them in his lap and staring at them. “Why did you draw on the walls with crayon, little man?” He would ask the offending five year old boy in the most calm voice.

“I wanted to paint a pretty picture for you and mommy!”

“And we love it. But next time, dude, if you put it on paper, I can bring those pictures to work so I can show everyone else.” Yeah, he calls his sons dude.

If his youngest and only daughter began crying over anything—Makki was on it like flies on shit. Little princess is not allowed to cry in daddy’s presence. He’s always quick to figure out why she’s crying too and, he learned, it’s mostly just because she wanted attention.

“When did you get so good at this?” You’d tease him.

“We’ve had lots of practice, honey.” 💀💀💀

A lot of the time, he felt really bad because he felt that he just kinda left you with the kids while he worked, and he’d be a little insecure. He thinks you’re tired of him and that you want to leave sometimes.

He thinks you don’t notice when he’s upset but he kinda dumb dumb cause you’ve been together for almost half of your lives, ofc you know when he’s upset.

While he’s laying in bed, nonchalantly scrolling through his phone before falling asleep for the night, you sit at his bedside, giving him the look. “C’mon, Takahiro. I can tell when something’s bothering you.” His lips would purse a little bit before locking his phone and putting it on his night stand, then holding whatever hand of yours that was closest to him with both of his.

“Ya ever just...get tired of our life?” Aksfnrjfl WOW THAT CAME OUT WRONG. This is why he prefers touch, he’s shit with words. “Wait no, that’s not what I meant. D-do, uh...a-are you happy?” Wow he really shit with words. Even if this would be conversation y’all would have at least once a year.

But no matter how many times you told him you loved him, he needed to feel it. Why do you think you ended up pregnant nearly every year? “I’m getting my fucking tubes tied after this, Makki.”

Matsukawa;

This goof would be your partner in crime second to Makki of course.

Half the time people kinda forgot you were dating let alone married because the two of you had always been playful and full of laughter; the only change was PDA was sprinkled in.

Sitting in his lap, little pecks during conversations, burying yourself in his neck or him burying himself in your hair, a hand always on your back or your shoulder.

Homies super subtle touchy.

The biggest reminder was when you’d announced your pregnancy to your friends. While Makki was super excited to be an uncle, Oikawa and Iwa were kinda like “y’all actually have sex??” Like you weren’t fucking married??

But whatever, y’all goofy and in love or w/e and it almost seems that the two of you aren’t taking pregnancy seriously. You totally are, but your friends don’t think so.

Coming up with baby names was Issei’s favorite pastime. But he went super left field with a lot of them, so you unfortunately had to veto them.

Painting and preparing the nursery was also an absolute blast. Because you both wanted the gender to be a surprise, y’all painted the room white on top with a full rainbow on the bottom, complete with gender neutral wall decals.

Honestly, he was so so so excited to be a dad. But mostly, he was just so smitten with you. It wasn’t hard for him to, considering the two of you were best friends long before dating.

He definitely turned your ultrasound pictures into memes that he hung in the babies room. “The last time I got pussy” captioned under the first ultrasound was his favorite.

You woke up one day in excruciating amounts of pain—like someone was carving out the muscles in your stomach and separating them from the skin from the inside and you knew something was wrong. “Issei, we gotta go to the hospital now!”

“N-now?” All jokes are gone, all laughter void and absent. “Honey, you’re only at the end of the first trime—“

“I know, idiot! We gotta go now!” You’re sobbing while hunching over your stomach, trying to walk but not succeeding in getting very far. Instead, your husband opts to carry you out to the car before zipping on over.

The sudden appointment had taken hours and the both of you felt drained. Well, you actually were. All of the pain you had experienced earlier in the day did not compare to the devastating blow of hearing that you had a miscarriage.

Silence fills every space that the two of you were in but, knowing you as well as he did, Mattsun refused to leave your side. Even if you had to pee.

“Babe, I have to pee.”

“Cool, which bathroom do we wanna use?” He wasn’t making jokes for the sake of being funny, which was the reason you allowed him to sit on the edge of the tub while you handled your business, holding your fingers in loose threads. It’s weird, but this was not a time for either of you to be alone to indulge your demons.

“We’re gonna get through this.” His arms would wrap around you from behind, carefully folding over your once filled womb, with his head resting on top of your own. “Just you and me, babe, against the world.”

“And Makki.”

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wiihtigo · 3 years

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uh, im thinkin bruno

one more bruno. mm two more bruno

First impression

i read the jojo mangas before watching the animes so my first impression was that he is soooo PRETTY the first few panels of bruno where his bangs arent cut straight across are so cute i think he looks so cute like that. i had this as my icon on my priv twitter for a long time cuz i love it so much

Impression now

hes my little mama mia meow meow mother mom momma whatever. hes actually one of my favorute characters in jo and i think his design is one of the best in the whole series

Favorite moment

hes got a lot of cool moments like beating pesci to death going ARIARIARI ARI ARIII and the first fight with him and giorno but the one that came to mind first was him offering trish to live in his house if she had no where to go after the mission...i think it really shows the core of brunos character as that he just wants to help people and he wants to help kids who are suffering..like he did for narancia, fugo, giorno and now trish even though hes only known her for a week he already wants her to stay so safe and live in his house

Idea for a story

i had a few jo story ideas but bruno was most NO No i remember i had a DREAM once about bruno and abbacchio that i kinda wanted to turn into a story but i never did. umm im going off memory here but it was like a universe where there WAS no mafia (ther was mafia but they werent part of it) and abbacchio was moving into a new house with his sister and mom and was shopping at a dollar store for like. dishes sponge and dish soap and pots and pans and bruno was a cashier an was like let me show you the BEST dish soap. an d well. it was more interesting in the dream i promise

Unpopular opinion

the pattern shit on his chest is not a tattoo its literally a lacey bra dont take this away from him i dont care how sexy you think tattoos are

Favorite relationship

him and narancia and fugo and trish and giorno. ok when i started this i just said narancia but then i wa s like "so youre gonna fucking erase fugo huh? idiot?" and then i added him and was lik "so you HATE trish" and it kept going. only realizing now i didnt even think about mista. also abbacchio i guess his boyfriend or whatever idgaf bruno and his kids are sweet

Favorite headcanon

narancia part time lives at bruno and abbacchios little house by the sea after part 5 and they decided to leave passione and bruno makes him little lunches for his days at school and its all soooo nice and peaceful

#asks #i really love bruno

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eponinemylove · 4 years

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aftg tattoo/flower shop au

@essence-29

so it’s wymack’s parlor and he still technically runs it and everything but he’s tired most of the time and he lets kevin pretty much take over

kevin has almost no tattoos himself except one he got that he deeply regrets (in my mind it’s bc riko was his piece of shit ex boyf and pretty much made him get it, but however u want to imagine the backstory of this tattoo is up to you)

anyway he runs the shop with his dad. matt, renee, and seth all work there

andrew runs the flower shop around the corner (managed by betsy). he could not give less of a damn about the parlor tbh. he barely noticed it existed

he’s more of a piercings guy anyway but it’s not like he’s against tattoos

at least, he didn’t care about the parlor until him and renee became friends

i imagine they met at the flower shop when she came in and ordered some for allison. maybe they started seeing each other around more and more, and you know how andrew makes friends. he probably followed her to work one day and they went from there.

either way they’re besties and they work on the same block. so andrew goes in and out of the tattoo parlor fairly often to pick up renee or have lunch.

him and kevin obviously run into each other at some point, probably more often than not

at first they ignored each other’s presence but then andrew started to notice kevin

tattoo artist without (many) tattoos? interesting. he won’t talk about the tattoo he does have? very interesting. he flinched when someone dropped a glass of something and it shattered? now you have his attention

and of course kevin can’t help but notice the hot, 5-foot-nothing guy who comes in at least once a week to harass his patrons and distract his employees

both of which are definitely crimes andrew commits regularly around the parlor

andrew invites kevin out for drinks one night after they’ve been noticing each other for a while. it’s not flirtatious or romantic, but it does feel... weighted. kevin goes. renee and the others are there too, vaguely, but he still manages to end up spending most of the night alone with andrew

they talk. a lot. it’s really slow going because neither one of them particularly feels like talking, but they do. or they come to a mutual understanding at least

they have a weird relationship after that that none of kevin’s friends or andrews relatives can even pretend to understand, but you know what? whatever. they’re KevinAndAndrew

i don’t want to say they’re attached at the hip, but they totally are. anywhere kevin is, andrew follows, especially if kevin is drinking. and they’re not even nice to each other. that’s the confusing part for the others. just looking at them, you wouldn’t even think they were friends, much less maybe-kind of-dating?

so this goes on for a couple of months, and just when everyone thinks they’re getting used to it, neil comes in

literally no one was ready for him. he shows up at the tattoo parlor one day and just applies for a job. no resume, no interview. straight up walks up to the front desk and asks for a job

kevin wants to throw him on his ass but matt says the least they could do was interview the guy

(neil probably looks all kinds of a mess. not like insane or dirty, but just generally disheveled and exhausted and... neil. he looks like neil)

kevin still thinks this is a waste of time, but he lets neil show him what he’s got

no one was expecting neil, but they definitely weren’t expecting him to be so goddamn good

it’s hard to tell if he’s a natural or has actually had years of hardwork and practice, but he’s an amazing artist and he knows his way around a needle

so they hire him.

matt becomes quick friends with neil. seth and neil don’t get along, per se, but they’re almost the exact same brand of asshole so there is a sort of solidarity between them

renee obviously is nothing if not entirely pleasant to neil, but he still has issues trusting her

and kevin? well kevin kind of hates his newest hire

he complains to andrew about him nonstop. about how he’s stupidly talented and a complete bastard and gets along with people but in a chaotic sort of way that makes kevin anxious and annoyed and

kevin has a lot to say and andrew is more than inclined to listen

it’s a surprise to no one when andrew is in the parlor the next day, scoping out neil for himself

oh, and i should mention that neil has literally NO tattoos. not even one. (his mother would never allow something so easily recognizable)

neil barely notices andrew until he confronts him after his shift. i don’t know what he would say, but it would go pretty much like how their meeting went in the books, just probably without the racquet

a fight immediately breaks out that matt and kevin have to break up. renee knows better

yeah neil and andrew don’t get along

andrew is very interested though. so he does what andrew always does. he gets nosy. and personal. and mean

it takes him a surprisingly long time to find any information on neil. he thinks it might be a fake name and kevin assures him that it’s definitely likely, which helps exactly none.

eventually the only thing he manages to gather is that neil has one hell of a temper and could start a fight in an empty room. he also won’t take any shit from anyone, whether it’s from andrew or some random Karen screaming at one of his coworkers for giving her daughter a tattoo she didn’t approve of. he can and will tear someone to shreds, and as much as kevin hates it (“Neil that’s bad for business, you can’t verbally abuse the clients”), andrew is very amused

kevin secretly also really likes neil. it’s hard not to—he says everything kevin wouldn’t dream of and sees through all of kevin’s bullshit. also he’s ridiculously hot and incredibly good at his job, and there’s nothing kevin appreciates more than talent and competence

after, idk, a month? of getting nowhere to unraveling neil’s past, andrew invites him for drinks.

kevin is there of course and pre-approved the decision. matt comes along bc he doesn’t trust andrew in the slightest and he loves neil. renee is there to make sure no one actually gets murdered. seth just shows up bc he thinks something funny might happen, like another fight

not strictly relevant, but allison, dan, and nicky working at the bar/club they frequent??? a Concept.

andrew and kevin are both pretty surprised to find out that neil doesn’t drink. they try and “convince” him otherwise, but neil refuses and short of drugging him, there’s not really anything they can do

nothing really happens the first couple of hours. nicky flirts with neil a couple of times, neil doesn’t notice, the usual. things take a turn when neil spots kevin’s tattoo. other than that, the night was a bust

since this is an au, idgaf what’s in their past. reader interpretation, use ur imagination, go crazy. however, whatever kevin was involved with, neil was somehow tangled up in too. that part stays the same

he doesn’t mention it

and then, of course, he mentions it

it’s not on purpose or in anyway eloquent. they probably get into some sort of fight while closing up and it just slips out

there’s a moment of “oh shit”, the complete understanding that passes through the two of them

they don’t mention it

except they do, because andrew finds out

he and neil have a another “talk” bc yeah andrew might run the flower shop, but if neil brings trouble from kevin’s past back to him now, when he’s doing so much better, andrew can and will actually commit homicide

and that’s the start of their relationship!

well, no, not really. neil still takes a while to warm up to them, and a while longer to start feeling any sort of romantic attraction to them. and of course that’s after he realizes they’re even a couple, because trust me, with those two is always questionable whether or not they’re even friends. or acquaintances. or on speaking terms

also they have to eventually talk about everything. set boundaries, clear the air. neil gives them piece by piece looks into his past. it’s slow work, but it’s a little bit of trust given by someone who has never trusted anyone before.

yeah so anyways everyone thought KevinAndAndrew was confusing? well they don’t know what the fuck is going on with KevinAndAndrewAndNeil

what they do know is that kevin and neil do some of the best tattoos in the country. what they do know is that andrew and neil take smoke breaks together in the back alley, halfway between their two shops. what they do know is that andrew and kevin have adopted neil into their relationship and the three of them are so close-knit, it almost becomes impossible to find one away from the others at any given moment

what they do know is that at least twice a week, the short, blond, very scary flower-shop guy walks into a tattoo parlor and a 6-foot tall intimidating tattoo artist and 5’3 ginger with a sharp tongue and sharper attitude immediately stop what they’re doing and go meet him

that’s pretty much it. scary blonde who sells roses for a living falls for scary tattoo artist who doesn’t seem to believe in tattoos. both these idiots then fall for the (not at first glance) scary new guy who is obviously trouble, because this is a tatto/flower shop au, and everyone loves the broken badass with a heart of gold.

there’s something to be said here about the most intimidating and kick-ass power couple (throuple?) ever

also it’s funny bc based on appearances alone, everyone expects neil to run the flower shop, and kevin and andrew to do tattoos. boy are they in for a surprise though, because andrew knows every single flower you could ever think of sticking in a bouquet, and neil could operate a tattoo gun blindfolded

ALSO they all get matching tattoos at some point bc they’re idiots and in love and it probably has a whole crap ton of heartfelt meaning that i don’t want to explain bc i feel like i’ve rambled forever at this point and still said nothing significant

oh and neil 100% gives kevin a coverup, replacing his old tattoo with something else.

there’s all kinds of plants decorating the parlor courtesy of andrews shop, and neil and kevin design andrew’s logo

and betsy makes everyone flower crowns at some point. andrew refuses to acknowledge it i’m any way, but dutifully wears it regardless. neil wears it to work the entire day, and after hangs it in his office-thing. whatever tattoo parlors have. kevin straight up refuses to wear it but neil wears him down and he puts it on for like 20 minutes. there’s even pictures to prove it

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excvlsior · 3 years

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about: *leo fowler.

basics.

full name: leopold kristoff fowler meaning of name: leopold = ‘people’ & ‘bold’, kristoff = ‘bearing christ’ nickname: leo, tadpole by some family members age: 23 date of birth: november 12, 1996 hometown: tallahassee, florida nationality: american ethnicity: dutch gender: demiboy sexuality: pansexual spoken languages: dutch, english profession: in lovell he’s a part time student and works at fowler’s flowers, but just the latter in st. louis

appearance.

height: 6′2″ eye colour: blue hair colour: auburn??? i feel like that’s the version of if someone had strawberry blond hair bt . strawberry brown instead??? idk it’s reddy-brown voice: pretty deep, surprisingly smooth jst feel like he has the personality of someone with a rougher voice bt . alas...... obnoxiously thick southern accent tattoos: c’est la vie on his ribcage, kristoff on his hip, ‘x’ on the inside of his middle finger done in shitty stick and poke, ‘L’ done in stick and poke on the side of his wrist, heart with a knife through it on his chest, tattoo inside his lip that says ‘pussy master’* :pensive:, ‘ouch’ on the bottom of both soles of his feet*, a hand giving the middle finger on the back of his left calf, dolly parton’s signature on the top of his thigh from when he got it at one of her concerts, a smiley face on his ass* >_>, a melting popsicle on the back of his right bicep*, ghost face mask on his right shin; * = he did them on a dare LKHSDGKLHLSDG piercings: lobes, right cartilage, industrial bar in his left ear, nostril, had an eyebrow and lip piercing when he was younger clothing style: pretty dishevelled and purposely ill prepared outfits, sometimes u can catch him in just plaid and khakis but more often than not he’s in something weird, his prized possession is a leopard print shirt that has a heart in the center, steals clothes from his aunt and uncle when he has nothing clean/can’t bother finding anything, been seen in marj’s skirts and leggings bc of this, and then on the other hand he’ll wear like a lime green tank top with a monster baseball cap worn sideways his style is just carefree and eclectic

health.

physical ailments: n/a neurological conditions: bipolar i disorder allergies: n/a sleeping habits: pretty much only falls asleep between the hours of 3-5 am, doesn’t matter if he works the morning or afternoon shift....... if he doesn’t work at all he’ll just sleep until his body naturally wakes up which is also usually around 3-5 pm KLSDGLKHSDGLKHDG exercise habits: doesn’t exactly have one..... he’s a pretty active and energetic guy so he’s usually up and about doing whatever anyway, also rides his bike everywhere since marj and steve r usually out with the only car they have sociability: loves being around people but he’ll eventually grow cranky, doesn’t necessarily need to be alone but at least with a different group of people if he gets to this point, the only time he actively doesn’t really want to see people is when he’s having a depressive episode but those don’t last too long as is drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes

personality.

positive traits: adventurous, courageous, determined, funny, gregarious, independent, quick-witted, tough, versatile negative traits: belligerent, cantankerous, foolhardy, harsh, impulsive, parsimonious, sarcastic, tactless, unpredictable, vulgar goals/desires: lowkey he’d never admit it but he just kinda wants his parents’ approval in the end, and also maybe to find something better than supervisor at a flower store (no offence to marj and steve its just not his dream) fears: staying committed and missing out on different opportunities/people that could change his life, the fact that he probably can’t do any better than be a supervisor at a flower store tbh hobbies: drinking, drawing a bit tbh, thrifting, loves collecting random knick knacks and is personally loving buttons rn, harassing his friends<3, making stupid tiktoks that somehow have gotten him a kind of big following habits: swearing obnoxiously without caring, yells in dutch when he’s frustrated which he’s mostly picked up on cuz everyone else in his family does it, stares more than what is socially acceptable tbh, refuses to walk under ladders

favourites.

weather: sunny with some clouds colour: dark green music: likes a lot of 90s and early 2000s rap and rock, old school country like he loves dolly parton LKSDHGKLHSDGLK rly enjoys elvis presley too, some edm or anything that he can jst dance wildly to movies: old school slasher films, screams his fav movie series ever food: spaghetti bt specifically w marj’s Phenom homemade meat sauce<3 drink: grape juice, whiskey sour

relationships.

father: steven fowler is his uncle but currently his legal guardian, he’s a co-owner of fowler’s flowers and is kind of a mess but in like the fun way....... LKSHDGKLHSLDG he just spends a lot of the day in nothing but boxers and socks w their cat on his lap watching the weather report if he’s not working, has the weird energy of someone who would be running like a joke shop instead of being a florist. archibald fowler is leo’s biological dad but he sucks Big Time, giant business typhoon i hvnt . figured out 100% wht sort of business bt hes got Money bt doesnt even rly want anything to do w leo he jst sees him as a massive disappointment bc archie’s nothing but a loser fart of a square. mother: marjorie fowler’s his aunt and other legal guardian also the other co-owner of fowler’s flowers, literally the sweetest woman on the planet like she’s never done anything wrong in her life n u can take tht to the bank. she’s a bit weird n super spiritual, their house constantly smells like random herbs and rly intensely of flowers and plants bc she makes so many home remedies bt she’s an angel a fkin ANGEL!!!!! renata kline’s leo’s mom n she’s like . fine ig she was pretty negligent n her best friend is a bottle of wine....... she rly peaked at a young age when she was a pageant girl n she still coaches n stuff now bt she’s obvs rly sad so leo tries not to lose it on her too much even tho he thinks she’s annoying LKSHDGKLHSLDKGKLSDG siblings: augustus is his oldest brother and he’s pretty cool, probs the brother leo is closest with even tho he considers him boring bt it’s only bc he’s . actually responsible n wht not they had a lot of fun growing up together tho when leo visited new york. mikhael is the devil, he’s actually a bit of a cunt n both him n leo have expressed their hatred fr each other without missing a beat i think they actually dnt hv any love or affection fr the other in the slightest SKLDHGLKSDHG. vaughn n leo r closest in age he’s not tht much younger n he’s probs the shiest of them, pretty soft spoken n well meaning, him n leo dnt rly keep in contact too much anymore bt theres a special place in his heart fr vaughn he’s pretty protective even tho he bullies him a lot bt thts besides the point. willhelm’s the youngest n it kinda shows he’s pretty idgaf attitude n rly blunt bt he’s also funny n probs the biggest partier outside of leo so he gets a pass whenever he rolls his eyes in leo’s face. pets: mitzie’s an 8 year old tortoiseshell cat who lives primarily on ppls laps shes literally more lap dog than cat significant other: n/a family’s financial status: middle class

extra.

zodiac sign: scorpio<3 mbti: estp - the entrepeneur enneagram: the epicure temperament: sanguine hogwarts house: gryffindor moral alignment: chaotic neutral primary vice: pride primary virtue: dilligence element: fire

#muse | leo fowler.#dabs my forehead #this took me a thousand years bt the deeds #finally done.

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rojnapat · 4 years

Note

petition for you to actually write that essay about the paint scene, please (once you're not distracted by wtfock, that is sksksk)

okay i finally am in the right mindset to write this lol omg i'm gonna break this down since *rubs my hands together* it's my favorite reunion and i have a LOT to say.

let it be known all of this is my pov, and mine alone. if i sound passionate it's towards the people who hate passionately on it. not anyone who disagrees. i know plenty of you do. it's okay.

first of all i want to start with the controversial parts. because i don't want anyone coming into my inbox to fight me after posting this. discussions are welcome. don't be a jerk

it's too sexualized. no, in fact its the LEAST sexualized reunion clip in my opinion. nudity =/= sexualization. yes of course they're going to be naked, they're supposed to be having sex! in all of the reunions all of the versions of them are naked! do you even know what sex is? let's be honest here, all they're doing is making out covered in paint. against a wall. you can't even tell what's happening. literally there's not a single sexual moment in it not a slight indication of what the hell is happening. they're just making out oh my god. if i actually wanted to go back and watch them i can break down every single reunion clip for you and compare point by point how little is shown here compared to the others. im just not a fan of over analyzing that stuff. this one is particularly different because I SEE IT differently. to me it's a romantic scene, not a sex scene.

it's unrealistic. now yes, while i do admit it's not very likely that you're going to reunite with the man of your dreams after being apart 2 weeks pining hopelessly, and then going to engage in a paint war that will result in making out with him against the wall, i don't understand what's so wild about it. it's as realistic as any part of this story is. not only lucas and eliott's specifically: all of them are as well. im sorry, how many first kisses with the love of your life did you have underwater right after watching r+j? come on. it's not like they fucked on the moon. it's supposed to be romantic and poetic. it's french cinematography, for fucks sake.

it's too over the top/too cheesy. again, it's french cinematography. what did you expect. maybe this remake just wasn't for you. that doesn't mean it's objectively bad, thanks.

they're supposed to be teens! now, on this one i'm with you, 100%. but it's a show targeted to teenagers. teenagers fuck. i don't particularly enjoy the sex scenes, i don't watch it for the sex scenes, but they have to be there. specially the lgbt ones. it's the whole point of the isak season: to show a love story just like heterosexual romance is, because gays don't fucking live romance differently. they don't have sex differently (you get my point here dont go to technicalities), they don't have first kisses differently, they don't get heartbroken differently. i say this a lot but i am SUPER uncomfortable with all of the sex scenes in the show, including the hotel scene in this same remake. the fact that the paint scene does not make me uncomfortable makes me realize how little sexualized it is. this is probably not a valid point to anyone but me, but i'm the one being asked, not my fault you're not in my head.

all that being said let me talk about what is to me one of the most beautiful scenes in the most beautiful love story i've had the pleasure to watch.

the conversation at the beginning. GUYS!! WE HAD FINALLY, ONE COUPLE, THAT ACTUALLY FUCKING TALKED. lucas LOVES eliott, and missed him like hell, but his personality simply didn't allow him to follow the impulse that he obviously had to just throw himself at eliott. he of course wasn't very mature either, he did it the lucas way: being a passive aggressive bitch. i am in love with that stupid exchange so much. we got lucas being so lucas and eliott being so eliott. lucas very decided to keep it together and let out the frustration that had been eating him for weeks, only for eliott to make him melt with a cheesy one liner (A BEAUTIFUL ONE, mind you.) it's something that makes me love the season so much in general, that makes me love lucas so much. he is by far the most stubborn isak, the one that wants to keep his pride the most, the one that would rather get into a fight with anyone who cares enough to ask him if he's ok than to show himself vulnerable. and he just CAN'T BE LIKE THAT with eliott. he can't keep that facade he tries so hard to mantain and he becomes a completely different person-- or rather, who he really is. it's why the good moments are so good and the bad moments are so bad. eliott burns down every single one of lucas's walls and lucas cant help but let him, only to be crushed like no one else ever managed to crush him. my boy really had it so hard. can't blame him for crying in every damn episode. and when eliott throws that one line at him he knows he's absolutely gone, and you can see it in his face. and it's such a good exchange what the fuck.

that paint fight was incredibly adorable and wholesome. they were so happy, and the symbolism of it being such a colorful moment for both of them. it kills me. that scene is the best way to define their relationship if you had to. a snarky exchange, a sweet confession, the pure happiness that brought to them just being with each other, and letting themselves go, without a single fuck to give about the place, the time, or whatever obstacles they had to overcome. the way they look like they're dancing when they're holding each other.

lucas!!! letting himself go!!!! can we just take a moment to talk again, about just how STUBBORN lucas is, added up to how terrified in general being so vulnerable to eliott was for him, SPECIALLY after feeling played with and heartbroken. it's such an important moment for him??? it shows that, look at that! lucas is finally able to follow what he wants to do rather than what he thinks he wants to do. because just like he's all that matters to eliott, eliott is all that matters to him. and fuck being bitter about lucille, fuck feeling played with, fuck being sad for two weeks. eliott was there, in front of him, and lucas realized that everything else was stupid compared to the idea to let that man go again. you can see it in his eyeeees damn you can actually see the exact moment where he goes "fuck it!" and just kisses him.

now about the act in itself i don't have much to say, because again that's not what i'm here for. but the chemistry those two have is incredible. the fact that skamfr actually managed to pull a scene like that. it's fucking insane.

i have realized that i dedicated two paragraphs to lucas which i think is the point of how i feel about this scene, and i was very likely very redundant but idgaf. but an honorary mention really has to be the talk with the boy squad. it is BY FAR the funniest and most entertaining one to watch. and dont get me wrong, i love every single one of the versions of this scene, even jens', but every single line arthur had in this scene cracked me up. basile being the sweetest ever, cheering up lucas "there's a million eliotts, but only one you!" so precious. anyway i think there's more but this is all i can think about idek i love skam france i love the paint scene peace out

#skam france #DONE #jebentnietalleen #cas shut up about skamfr

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snovaness · 4 years

Note

i'd love to hear your Bokuto, Kuroo, Ushijima and Oikawa as boyfriends headcannons (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

Oh BOY do I got thoughts on this! I will not pretend like I had a lot of relationships as a teen (I’m 21) I’ve only ever had 2 boyfriends and one of them is my current boyfriend so about 17 out of 21 years of my life I’ve been single and (idgaf if this sounds sad) I would just day dream about falling in love with different fictional characters. This is pretty much my loner self’s time to shine.

Bokuto

He would 100% be cocky about having a significant other and you can’t convince me otherwise

He would show you off any chance he got just because he’s the type.

Bokuto went from saying how he’s one of the top 5 spikers in Japan to saying “I’m (y/n) boyfriend you know” because to him that was just slightly cooler

He’s as passionate about you as he is about volleyball so even when he practices during most of his free time he still makes sure to make time for you no matter how tired he is.

When his team loses a game he goes to you for comfort because you can always cheer him up when he’s down.

He has you wear his extra jersey on game days just so everyone can know that you’re there for him

He’s not shy about pda especially after winning. He would just grab you the second you’re close enough to him and shower you with kisses.

Bokuto would call you his good luck charm because when you go to his matches (even the practice ones) he swears he plays better (akaashi does not agree)

He would also be the jealous type which he teammates loved to tease him about but lowkey it was cute

Just like how he is with akaashi he also looks to you for encouragement when he does something he thinks is awesome (which happens to be a lot of things but you love it)

Akaashi will sometimes ask you to hype Bokuto up after he messes up a few times in order to bring him back up to his normal self

He calls himself the best boyfriend in the world and of course you agree because while he’s intense he’s also easy to love and overall makes you feel better about yourself

Kuroo

He’s super observant in volleyball but a little slow when it comes down to relationships outside of the game

He has a billion nicknames for you just like he does with other people but at least yours are endearing. He called you names like baby, sweetie, babe, cutie, pumpkin, etc

He looks like a scary and intense guy (which he is sometimes) but he's really sweet and caring

He always looks out for you in the way he looks out for Kenma and pushes you both outside of your comfort zone

Being his significant other also makes you closer to the others on the team

You’re basically an unofficial manager at this point

He likes to take you out to eat after every game in order to spend time with you

Kuroo has you give him a good luck kiss before every match even if they’re just practice ones

He’s a romantic deep down and loves to spoil you with small things like flowers, candy, and stuffed animals

He LOVES PDA. He has to be holding your hand all the time or touching you in some way

He is highkey freaky and we all know it

Ushijima

He loves cuddling! He wants to be snuggled up to you immediately after practice and game

He hates PDA mostly because he has this reputation of being seen as this intimidating volleyball captain

Even then the intimacy of your relationship is never lacking because behind closed doors he craves to be all over you

He’s a man of very little words but he is surprisingly good at communicating whenever there seems to be a bump in the relationship

He’s also forward and isn’t afraid to tell you how he feels

Lowkey the jealous type whenever other guys give you too much attention

He is use to winning and pretty much being good enough to get whatever he wants so when it came to you it took him a bit of time to build up the courage to ask you out

Not only would you be his number one fan but there is no doubt in my mind that he would support you in anything and everything you do making him your number one fan

He plans out the cutest dates. Picnics, theme parks, movie nights, and couples painting are some of his favorites

He has a hard exterior and tends to be tough but really he's a big softy that melts when you're around

Oikawa

At first he would keep your relationship a secret because of his fan club

Eventually he gets tired of hiding it and kisses you in front of everyone after winning one of his games

The whole volleyball team already knew because let's get real Oikawa is bad at keeping secrets

He LIVES for PDA

He is so freaking needy

If he is not touching you in any way, shape, or form he is probably miserable

He is a die hard romantic and no one can convince me otherwise like I know for a fact he will take you on the cutest dates and give you cheesy and thoughtful gifts

You make him an overall better person. Oikawa is happier with you, less passive aggressive towards other volleyball teams, and even more determined to be a better volleyball player

He lets you wear his clothes all the time. Cold? Not on his watch because he brought an extra hoodie just for you. Spilled something on your shirt? Don't worry he has another one in his bag for times like this

He treats you like royalty

Those rare times where you guys fight he is always there with a small gift to make it up to you. He never wants you to be mad at him so he goes above and beyond to try and be the perfect boyfriend

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writtingsofspn · 5 years

Text

Pity part 3

Summary: The boys deal with the mysterious thing that take you

Warnings: Swearing, brief mention of committing suicide (there’s like no details and its all fake but I figured I’d mention it just in case)

A/N: Sorry this is late and like hella long!!!! But I really hop you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED SO MUCH IT MAKES MY WEEK GUYS

Part 1 Part 2

Also tagging @leahslovelylibrary @princess-of-idgaf @flipperjanga11 @justagirlinafandomworld @thebooklover2020 @shamelesslydean (I’m so sorry if I forgot anyone!)

Dean took your leaving hard, not that that was much of a surprise to anyone. He hardly slept, only really doing so after he passed out drinking, hardly ate, Sam was stuck practically forcing food down his throat. It was as if the boys had actually lost you, which to Dean might as well have been the case.

He knew he fucked up, he knew he fucked up badly. You had asked him if he had even considered your feelings when he did what he did and in all honesty he hadn’t. He had been so caught up in how you held yourself as a hunter, the confident unbreakable façade you showed to the world, that he forgot you were only human, that you could be hurt. He was so caught up in how he felt that he didn’t think of the consequences of his actions and it cost him everything.

He wasn’t lying when he said he wouldn’t blame you if you never came back. After all that you said to him that night he couldn’t fathom how you would even go about forgiving him. He was your best friend, he was your partner when it came to hunting, it is absolutely crucial that you be able to put your life in his hands without any hesitation, that you be able to fully trust him no questions asked. And he obliterated that trust.

He didn’t even pick up his head when Sam walked into the bunker late that night. His eyes stayed glued to his glass, it was almost empty but he couldn’t bring himself to finish it off. After the past few days the mere sight of alcohol made him sick but he needed something to numb his feelings, he needed to not have to feel the loss of you being gone, he needed to be able to forget the feeling of you in his arms that night, he needed to forget just how close he was before he ruined everything.

Sam sat down across from him at the table, eyeing the bottle that was full not too long ago. “I think she’s going to make a decision soon”

No matter what that decision be Dean wasn’t sure he was going to like it. Obviously if you chose to leave things would be difficult but they would be if you chose to stay too. Leave and he’d have to live with the knowledge that he drove away the love of his life, stay and he’d have to live with the knowledge that your relationship started with a lie that he could never make up for.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He knew Sam was just trying to help, but there was only one person Dean wanted to talk to right now and she couldn’t stand to so much be in the same room as him right now.

“I don’t know what I want anymore”

Sam only nodded. He knew the answer to his question before he asked it but couldn’t help himself. He wasn’t sure how much more of this his brother could take. If the alcohol didn’t get him the sleep deprivation would, and no matter what there was little hope of things going back to normal any time soon. There was a part of him that wished his brother had never said anything, ignorance is bliss right? But a bigger part of him knew how wrong that was, you deserved the truth, no matter how ugly it was.

“Just get some sleep tonight Dean” He pleaded, standing up, debating taking the bottle from him but knowing it would be in vain “please”

You woke up in a bed that both was and wasn’t familiar to you. You could remember falling asleep in a dingy motel room but what you woke up with was far from that. Soft sheets, large comforter nothing was familiar there but the walls were what struck you, the walls you could remember, those were Dean Winchester’s walls.

You shot up in bed, looking around at the empty room, not remembering why you were in Dean’s room. Then the smell of pancakes hit your nose, someone else was here, and if you were in the bunker it had to be one of the boys, right?

You cautiously crept out of the room and towards the kitchen to see Dean in nothing but pajama bottoms, casually flipping pancakes, grinning as he saw you walk in.

“Good morning beautiful”

“Good morning handsome” Of course you were in the bunker, it was your home, where else would you be? You tried to shake off your thoughts, Dean was just making you breakfast, it wasn’t unusual, why were you feeling so off today?

“blueberry or chocolate?” He asked, pouring the batter.

“chocolate” You answered immediately, sitting down at one of the chairs, watching hottest guy in the world making you pancakes shirtless, it was a view you could never tire of.

“of course” He chuckled, grabbing the bag and dropping a few chips onto the batter. “how’d you sleep sweetheart”

You had to think about it for a moment, you couldn’t remember waking up at any point in the night but also seemed to remember falling asleep somewhere that wasn’t where you woke up, must have just been a strange dream “pretty well. You?”

Dean flipped the pancakes easily, a soft smile playing on his face “I had you in my arms so obviously I can’t complain”

You could feel a blush climb its way up to your cheeks as you chuckled softly, smiling back at him, no matter how many times he did it you could never get over him complimenting you like that.

He plated the pancakes and set them on the table in front of you, standing close enough the string on his pants grazed your arm softly. You reached for the plate only to have him yank it away at the last minute “hold on you haven’t paid for them yet”

You looked up at him through your lashes, admiring the grin on his face as he looked down at you “damn I left my wallet in the car”

“I’m sure we can work something else out” He smirked before leaning down to your level, softly bringing his lips to meet yours. The taste of him in your mouth, the feeling of his lips on yours, it was indescribable, amazing, comforting, and familiar, and yet at the same time not.

He pulled away too quickly for your liking, setting down the plate and furrowing his brows “You seem like you’re somewhere else this morning. Are you alright”

“Just tired” You lied “I’m sorry”

“No need to apologize” He assured you, running a hand through your hair comfortingly before heading back to the stove to take care of the rest of the pancakes. “better wake up soon though you have to leave in half an hour”

“Leave?” You asked, taking a bit of food.

“You have a shift at the hospital this morning right?”

Your eyes widened, of course he was right, how could you have forgotten about your job. “shit I don’t know what’s going on with me today”

“You think you’re coming down with something?” He asked concerned “do we need to skip the benefit tonight”

Fuck the donors benefit for the hospital. You’d been helping with it for months how could you have let it escape your mind so easily “no I’m fine” You assured him “just…tired”

He looked at you skeptically but didn’t push it further “alright sweetheart, whatever you say”

Sam wasn’t sure exactly what he was expecting but it was definitely more than he got. A part of him assumed you wouldn’t be too far behind him last night. You seemed as though you had made up your mind or were at least close to doing so before he left. But then you didn’t show so he told himself tomorrow, morning came and went with still no you and Sam waited, eyeing the door, pleading you to walk through it.

24 hours he told himself, he’d give you a full day before driving back over there to check on you again. But all too soon he was back in the car heading to your motel room, parking just beside your car and knocking on your door.

A tall man answered your door half dressed, a towel draped around his waist. Sam couldn’t help but feel a surge of anger course through him at the sight, he left last night and you decided to fuck some stranger instead of actually dealing with the situation at hand.

He set his jaw and bunched his fists, trying to keep his attitude in check, reminding himself you were hurting. “Is Y/N here?”

“Who?”

God the asshole didn’t even know your name. It was then that he started to understand how his brother had felt for the past few months, watching someone he loved (albeit in a different way than his brother but still) throwing herself at guys who didn’t even bother to learn her name, it just didn’t feel right.

“The girl who’s staying in this room” He explained, not bothering to hide his condescending tone “I need to talk to her”

“Dude this is my room” The man cocked an eyebrow sending Sam reeling back “You must have the wrong one”

“No-I” Sam started to stutter, he looked at the room number again, this was the same one he came to last night, your car was parked out front, this was definitely your room.

“You might want to try talking to the front desk” The man shook his head before shutting the door in Sam’s face.

Sam stayed frozen in place, unsure of what to do next. There was no way he had the wrong room he was literally just here, your car was parked in the same place as last time, if you had left you would have taken it with you. Unless you switched cars to keep them from finding you? But why wouldn’t you have told him you were leaving? Why would you feel the need to switch cars? Dean told you he’d respect whatever decision you made. Nothing was adding up.

Eventually he decided to try the front desk, marching up to the greasy guy at the counter who clearly didn’t give a shit about his job “Hi I’m looking for Y/N Y/L/N”

“We don’t give out client information” The man didn’t even look up at Sam as he answered, instead choosing to flip through a magazine on the desk top.

“I’m an FBI agent I need this information”

That caught his attention as he straightened up immediately, making eye contact for the first time. “You got a badge”

Sam bit the inside of his cheek “not on me at the moment”

“warrant?”

“…no”

The man relaxed immediately, slouching back over the desk and dropping his gaze again “then I can’t help you agent”

“I’m just looking for my friend” Sam pleaded with the man “Just let me take a look at your security tapes”

“no warrant no looking”

Sam exhaled sharply, setting his jaw “alright if you want me to come back with a warrant I will. But I’m bringing a whole team with my next time to search each and everyone of your rooms, making a big deal publicly about the search, and we’ll just see how many of your clients choose to come back to stay with you again”

The man paused halfway through turning the page, glaring up at Sam from his slouched position, checkmate.

“I need a smoke break anyways” He grumbled, dramatically snatching his pack of cigarettes off the counter and heading outside, leaving Sam alone with the computer.

He wasted no time, clicking through a series of surprisingly well organized folders of security tapes until he found the one of last night. He scrolled through until he saw himself leave your room, waiting until he saw you exit as well with a bag over your shoulders roughly an hour later. You threw the bag into the trunk of your car and Sam watched as a man slowly approached your car, shadows covering his face well enough Sam had no hope of being able to identify him from the footage.

Sam could feel his body tense as you reached for your gun, instincts as impeccable as usual, but ultimately you dropped your hand from its handle, just talking to the man calmly for a few seconds. The man held out his hand to you and he watched you hesitate to take it, something was off and you could feel it. To his horror Sam watched you take the man’s hand, a bright blue flash erupting from his skin at the contact causing Sam to swear under his breath as you dropped to the ground lifelessly.

His hands shook as he scrambled for his phone in his back pocket, dialing Dean without taking his eyes off the screen in front of him, watching the man throw you roughly into the back of a van.

“Yeah?” Dean’s groggy, hungover voice filled the air as Sam’s wide eyes stared at the screen.

“Y/N’s been taken by a Djinn”

You dug around absently in your closet. Scrubs…you needed scrubs…but where did you keep them? Dean came into his room…no your room…your’s and Dean’s room…leaning against the door frame with a concerned look on his face.

“What are you looking for babe?”

Babe, the word struck a chord with you but you couldn’t explain why. He had called you that before, many times in fact, so why did it feel like the first.

“My scrubs. I don’t know where I put them”

Dean walked over, opening the top drawer of the dresser to reveal it full of colored scrubs “right where you always keep them”

Of course. You kept them separate from the rest of your clothes in their own drawer. How could you have forgotten that.

You tried to play it off, not saying anything as you walked across the room and grabbed a pair, stopping as Dean grabbed your arm, concerned green eyes staring straight into yours.

“Are you sure you’re ok Y/N”

You couldn’t help but smile, loving how concerned he was for you over nothing. You brought a hand up to his face, rubbing your thumb softly over his bottom lip. And before you could stop yourself you were kissing him, truly savoring the feeling, as if it were your first all over again.

You pulled away from him, watching as a grin erupted across his face making your heart flutter “I swear I’m fine”

“I don’t know” He tried to keep a straight face but the corners of his mouth tipped up, giving everything away “I think we should check again.”

You giggled, wrapping your hands around his neck and bringing him back to your level. Kissing Dean Winchester was a feeling you knew you could never tire of.

He practically whined when you finally pulled away, your lungs screaming for air as you did. “Don’t worry” You winked “we’ll continue this later”

He grabbed you by the hips, pulling you into him, your nose grazing his as you stared up at him “is that a promise?”

“It is” You assured him, going up on your toes and pecking him on the cheek before walking back across the room and quickly throwing on your scrubs.

Only then did it occur to you you didn’t know where your keys were. You scanned the room, checking your pockets before looking to Dean again “uh do you know where I left me keys”

“Here” He answered simply, reaching behind him and grabbing his own keys, throwing them to you.

You stared at them down in your hands, tilting your head “you want me to take baby?”

“I’m off for the day so I won’t need her” He shrugged.

“but-“ You knew this didn’t feel right. Sam was barley allowed to drive her, let alone you “you don’t let anyone drive her”

“You drive her all the time” He cocked an eyebrow, concern lacing his voice once again “I trust you with her”

He trusts you. Of course he trusts you, you were dating, living together, you drove her to work whenever he didn’t need her. This wasn’t weird this was normal, everything was normal. Why did you have to keep telling yourself that?

“I guess it’s just something I’ll never get used to”

“are you sure that’s what you saw?” Dean was much too hungover to be dealing with something this big at the moment. He was pacing back and forth trying to ignore his blinding headache, trying to convince himself that you were fine, that Sam was just wrong.

“There was a flash of blue light when he touched her and she crumpled to the ground” Sam sighed, running an anxious hand through his hair. “four other people have gone missing in the area Dean”

“It’s too close to us we would have noticed if there was a djinn around here” Dean argued, biting the inside of his cheek.

“We have been preoccupied with other things” Sam explained cautiously “nobody’s been looking at the news to notice the disappearance”

Preoccupied with other things, things that were entirely Dean’s fault. He had distracted everyone resulting in the disappearance of four other people. Of course he had to be responsible for your disappearance too after everything else he caused you why not add this to the list as well. “How long has she been gone?”

“Almost a full day”

Dean swore under his breath “we need to find her and we need to find her now”

Sam just nodded, scanning news stories.

“have any of the bodies been found?”

“all within 36 hours of their disappearance”

The clock was ticking.

You were rushed into getting ready as soon as you got home from the hospital, hopping into the shower and drying your hair, camping out in front of the bathroom mirror to put on your makeup.

Everything was going fine, you had put even more effort into it than you usually did, black tie event and all, but as you got up on your toes to get closer to the mirror, dropping your mouth slightly, ready to put on your mascara you faltered. You’ve been here before.

You tried to shake off the feeling, of course you’ve been here before it was your bathroom. You put away the mascara and reached for your lipstick, taking off the cap getting ready to apply it when Dean came into the bathroom, leaning against the door frame with a smirk on his face, and you froze.

Déjà vu rushed over you more intensely than it ever had before. This has happened before, you’ve been in this situation before, and you felt as though it didn’t end well.

“Babe are you ok?”

Dean snapped you from your thoughts and you made eye contact with him through the mirror, flicking your eyes back to your own reflection to apply the lipstick. “Yeah I’m fine”

You capped it again and put it back into the bag, giving yourself a moment to make sure everything looked alright.

“Are you sure?” Dean asked, pushing himself off of the door frame “we really don’t have to go tonight if you don’t want to”

You couldn’t help but smile at his concern, walking over to him and throwing your arms around his neck, letting your hand play with the hair at the base of it. “I promise I’m good”

He couldn’t help but smile, resting his hands on your hips in response, pulling you closer to him “alright if you promise…”

“I do” You assured him, letting your hand wonder from his hair to his jawline, letting your thumb rub over the stubble softly.

He groaned softly, letting his eyes dance back and forth between yours “it’s not fair that you put on lipstick, now I can’t kiss you”

“could always take a chance” You winked at him “deal with the consequences later”

He didn’t need any more convincing. Dean placed a finger beneath your chin, lifting it up just enough that he could snoop down and capture his lips in yours, pulling your hips further into him and savoring the kiss for all it was worth, leaving your breathless when he finally pulled away.

“Damn” You breathed out, chuckling slightly at the lipstick mark left on his face.

“probably the only one I’m getting tonight. Had to make it count” He winked

Dean could feel the hours ticking away as he and Sam sat in the library pouring over books and news articles. “we’re not getting anywhere”

“we can’t give up Dean”

“of course not” Dean scoffed, tossing a book aside “but it’s so close lets just go out looking for her”

“She’s not just going to be out wandering the streets Dean”

“We could just check the abandoned buildings around” Dean tried, running an exasperated hand through his hair, anything had to be better than doing this.

“Do you have any idea how many of those there are?” Sam asked “it would take too long. Our best bet is trying to figure out where he is”

“I can’t just keep sitting here” Dean all but yelled, jumping to his feet fast enough that the chair flipped over “she’s out there having her blood drained and we’re just fucking sitting here”

“we’re looking Dean” Sam tried to calm him down “but we need to narrow it down before we just start driving around”

Dean knew his brother was right but couldn’t help but feel as if he was just waiting time. Time you didn’t have. He needed to be able to do something about it, he needed to be able to protect you. And it seemed the only way to do that was to sit down and keep researching. So that’s what he forced himself to do, picking up his chair and slumping back down at the table.

“You said they were all taken from the hotel?”

Sam just nodded, quickly scanning news articles again just to make sure. “it was too dark for security cameras though I couldn’t make him out”

“Too dark when he took Y/N…” Dean started, Sam’s head snapping up as he realized where his brother was going “but maybe not too dark when he took the others”

The two stared at each other in shock for a moment, unable to believe that neither of them had thought of it before sprinting to the car.

The benefit had turned out exactly as you had hoped it would. After months of hard work everything was perfect, from the food to the decorations you couldn’t help but beam proudly.

Everyone was in black tie attire; floor length gowns and tuxes and you couldn’t help but stare at Dean in his. It fit him perfectly, making him look even better, not that you had thought it was possible, and you couldn’t help but notice how he had been unable to keep his eyes off you the entire time. His hand never leaving the small of your back.

“Would you like to dance?” He asked, a childish grin on his face as he held out a hand to you.

You couldn’t help but giggle “I definitely think I should have a drink before I attempt that….or five”

“oh come on” He chided teasingly “I’ll let you stand on me feet”

“oh well in that case” You rolled your eyes with a grin, letting him pull you to the dance floor, placing his hand on your hip and grabbing the other one, leading you in a slow dance “see, not too bad”

“You say that now” You laughed, swaying softly back and forth with him.

A comfortable silence feel over you as the two of you danced, soft music and polite conversation filling the air but Dean’s eyes never leaving yours. “I love you”

“I love you too” You chuckled, the comment coming out of nowhere and hardly being the first time he had told you.

“no I mean…I really love you” You couldn’t help but giggle lightly again as he swayed you “what you did here tonight” He looked up around, smiling at all of the little details “it’s incredible, it’s beautiful, it makes me so proud of you” You could feel the blush heating up your cheeks again as you beamed, biting your lip to keep from grinning “but with you in that dress….god I can’t keep my eyes off of you. You’re amazing babe. I can’t help but feel as though I’m the luckiest guy in the wo-“

Dean was cut off immediate with a tap on his shoulder, the two of you turning your attention to the man who neither of you noticed approach you, your boss.

“sorry do you mind if I cut in?”

Dean shot you a look, silently asking you if it was ok. You nodded at him, watching his face fall slightly as he retreated back into the room leaving you alone with your boss.

He silently held out a hand to you and you took it, allowing him to pull you into him and set a hand on your hip, prompting you to put yours on his shoulder.

“so that was..” He let his question hand in the air, allowing you to fill in the blank.

“Dean” You answered, looking over your shoulder at him “my boyfriend”

“And how are things going with the two of you?”

You faltered slightly at his question, pausing the dance for a fraction of a second before answering “we’re good”

“everything perfect?” He asked, you could hear the grin in his voice making you uneasy. You couldn’t describe it but something felt wrong.

“Everything is perfect” You repeated cautiously, not meeting his gaze.

“You know you could tell me if things weren’t” He continued, “Afterall I am the one responsible for this little relationship”

You froze on the spot, your gaze snapping to his just in time to see his eyes glow blue. Everything immediately coming back to you, hitting you like a freight train.

You tried to push yourself from him but he just held you tighter, forcing you back into swaying “I wouldn’t do that if I were you”

“You’re a djinn” You whispered, unsure of what else to say, desperate to get away from him.

“Yes I am” He answered simply, gripping you tightly to keep you in place “I did all of this for you”

“Why the fuck would you tell me that” You asked

“Because it’s more fun” He shrugged with a smirk, obviously having elicited exactly the reaction from you that he wanted “and because I know you aren’t going to do anything about it”

“Oh really? And why is that?”

He turned you quickly on the spot, positioning the two of you so you could see Dean “because of that idiot right there” he sent him a teasing wave, Dean furrowing his brows before cautiously returning it, looking to you in confusion.

“but I know he’s not real. I know I can just go off myself and see the real one”

“But what does it matter that he is not the real one?” He asked, returning to dancing with you “he loves you like the real one with no strings attached, no grand betrayal, no hard decisions, just him”

You froze again, staring back as Dean grabbed a drink from the bar. He wasn’t wrong, things were certainly easier here. You just had Dean, didn’t have to deal with what he did, didn’t have to make any decisions, everything was well…perfect.

“Just think about it. You get a whole life with him. Why say no”

“If I say yes I’m hurting the real one”

“He hurt you first, didn’t he?”

Dean bounced his leg impatiently as Sam checked the security cam footage “Henry Wilcox went missing ago three days ago” He showed Sam his picture as Sam looked him up in the system.

“Alright room 203” He switched to security cam footage, going through the tape at 4 times normal speed waiting for something to happen. Only shaking his head at Dean when he found out Mr. Wilcox went missing at night.

Dean swore under his breath and crossed him off of his list, that only left one name. “Rachael Campbell, two days ago”

“room 110” Sam mumbled, going back to the security footage and waiting as it quickly cycled through the day. He sighed as nothing happened until it fell dark, watching as some poor girl was attacked by a man Sam couldn’t see in the dark.

Dean’s face dropped at the sound of his brother’s sigh. They were out of leads, their best bet was to just start driving around but they had a max of 4 hours at that point. Those weren’t good odds.

“Wait” Sam breathed out, pausing the video. Dean didn’t hesitate before running around the counter, setting himself beside his brother and looking at the screen to see the exact man they were looking for, illuminated in the headlights of passing car.

“Wilson” He yelled for the front desk man who was out front smoking again. “get in here”

The man poked his head in the door, a cigarette still dangling from his fingers “I’m almost done just give me a few”

“Now” They both demanded in unison, glaring at him until he put out of the cigarette and came to join them behind the counter.

“Do you recognize this man” Dean demanded quickly, crossing his arms.

“Sure that’s Carl. He’s new, part of housekeeping.”

“Do you have an address?” Sam asked hopefully.

Wilson just stared blankly at them, not saying a work until Dean sighed and dug some money out of his wallet, not bothering to count it before throwing it onto the counter. Wilson looked at the money and shrugged, reaching into one of the drawers beneath the desk and pulling out a manila folder handing it to them.

You couldn’t sleep. Just stared up at the celling, not even thinking about your present situation anymore just staring blindly. Dean was sound asleep next to you, or well not-Dean was. Something had always seemed off about him but now that you knew you wondered if there was any going back to just seeing him as Dean. Now that you knew he was fake could you look past it if you wanted to. Key part being wanted to cause you honestly weren’t sure if you still did.

Quietly you climbed out of bed, tiptoeing out of the room and into the kitchen, making yourself a cup of tea.

You eyed the knives as you sipped. Plunge one of those into your stomach and you could go back to your old life, you could go back to real Sam and Dean, you could go back to hunting. But is that really what you wanted? Here everything was perfect, you had the man of your dreams, you had the perfect job, the perfect life, you could very easily be happy here.

Floorboards creaking snapped you out of your thoughts as you saw Dean slowly making his way towards you. Shirtless again, pajama pants hanging low on his hips, his hair sticking up in a million different directions, his eyes drooping slightly. He wordlessly came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you from behind, kissing your shoulder, before resting his head on your back.

You’d been in this situation enough times to know what the real Dean felt like and damn it was close. Close but not quite there. The callouses on his hands were less pronounced, this Dean didn’t have hunting to rough up the skin as much. His scent was missing something, a tad of gunpowder. But damn if it wasn’t comforting.

“Are you drinking tea at three in the morning?” His voice was deep and groggy. It made your knees weak.

“I couldn’t sleep”

“So you decided caffeine would help”

“If you can’t beat ‘em…”

Dean didn’t say anything more, just stayed hugging you, his head resting against your skin and you could feel his breath starting to slow down.

“Head to bed Dean you’re tired”

“Not without you” He argued, and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t bring a smile to your face.

“I’ll be right behind you”

You could feel him hesitate, debating it before reluctantly letting go of you, turning your head to give you a quick kiss before heading back towards his room.

This was going to be a tough decision.

Sam had to fight to keep his brother from rushing into the building immediate, forcing him to slow down just enough to keep him from making any stupid mistakes. With great reluctance he handed him a gun and followed him down the drive to a giant warehouse, the two doing their best to keep quiet as the snuck in.

The place was a maze of boxes, enough blocking the way that the brothers couldn’t see more than ten feet in front of them. Dean’s head was exploding, you were in here somewhere, it was going to take longer than he was comfortable with at this rate. “We need to split up”

Sam hesitated, he knew his brother was right but also knew he wasn’t in the best headspace to be left alone. He hadn’t had a decent night sleep in god knows how long, his emotions were getting the better of him, he could practically see his hands shaking from where he was standing, it wasn’t the best plan.

But you didn’t have time for them to search the entire warehouse together. “alright”

Dean didn’t wait any longer, running off down one of the paths left by the boxes, not giving his brother any time to change his mind.

He tried to stay as calm as possible as he swept the area, knowing he needed to take his time to clear the warehouse but also knowing their countdown to 36 hours was drawing near.

He was almost ready to head over to Sam’s side and start helping him check when he caught the sight of an IV bag out of the corner of his eye, partially hidden amongst a pile of boxes. Dean didn’t even think before lowering his gun and sprinting to the pile, throwing caution into the wind as he threw boxes aside loudly.

As soon as he came to your body he could feel his heart drop into his stomach and he froze. Your skin hung limply to your bones, all color drained from it, your eyes dark and sunken back into your skull, quite plainly you looked like you were dying.

He reached up a finger, pressing it to your neck, panicking as he didn’t feel a pulse. He moved his fingers around the area, his breath quickening as he switched sides, checking again before going for your wrist, harshly digging his fingers into your skin until he finally felt it. Weak and slow but still there. Dean could have collapsed on the spot when he felt it, relief washing over him as he ripped the tube from your arm, shaking you, begging you to wake up.

“You know that’s not going to work”

Dean spun around to face the voice, reaching for his gun but dropping his hand as he saw one already pointed at him.

“She has to do that herself”

“She will” Dean growled, slowly pushing himself to his feet “she’s a fighter”

“Don’t be so sure” the djinn sneered “could you really blame her for not wanting to leave”

Dean shook his head, that wasn’t an option. You were smart, you would know what was going on, you would know what to do. There was no reason you wouldn’t be waking up, or at least that is what he needed to believe.

“Things haven’t exactly been great for…well months” The thing was smirking as he gestured with his gun, enjoying the power he had in his hands at the moment “everything in there is perfect, you really think she wants to give it up? For you no less?”

Dean could feel his legs tremble beneath him. He was right, after everything he did to you, after everything you said to him, how could he really expect you to give up the perfect life. Dean knew what it was like to have everything you ever wanted, it was hard to give something like that up under any circumstances, let alone to give it up for the mess Dean had made.

“Hey dick!” He faintly heard Sam yell out, the Djinn spinning around just to catch a bullet in the chest, sending him crashing to the ground.

But Dean stayed frozen in his spot, turning his head just enough to look at you. There was a good chance you were happy in there, happier than he could ever hope to make you, was it really right to pull you from that? After all of the pain he had caused you could he do it again, was he just being selfish again in wanting you back.

Sam ignored his brother, kneeling to the ground in front of you, calling your name out just as Dean had done.

“She has to want to come back Sammy” Dean mumbled, watching his brother beg just as he had done.

“of course she wants to come back” Sam shot back, not giving up on you just yet.

But Dean wasn’t so sure of that anymore.

You spun a kitchen knife in circles on the counter with your finger. It wasn’t an easy decision to come to, to kill yourself, even if it was a fake life you were leaving. Dean was perfect, your job was perfect, your life was perfect, everything was perfect, wouldn’t you be insane to give something like that up.

You thought about what Dean had done to you. How badly he hurt you. Surely if you just didn’t come back you could call it even. The brothers would probably just assume you had made up your mind and decided to stop hunting with them, they’d never have to know that you were dead.

But you owed them an explanation for why you left right? You owed them some closure, didn’t you?

But says who? Dean had betrayed your trust, had let you start to hate yourself, did he really deserve anything from you.

You had asked him if he had ever considered his feelings in all of this. Could you really go ahead with this without considering his?

Dean padded into the kitchen once again, looking exactly as he had the first time.

“You’re still here”

You just nodded, spinning the knife “yeah”

He looked between you and the knife, making his way over to your side. But you didn’t make eye contact, keeping your eyes glued to the knife.

He reached out, softly cupping your cheek and pulling your gaze to meet his “You know I love you right”

You had to fight the urge to melt into his touch, to collapse into his arms and let him comfort you, to just give up right then and there. “I know”

But the real Dean loved you too. And you were in love with him. Did it really need to be more complicated than that?

“You know I’d do anything for you”

Real Dean would too. For better or worse he was willing to give up everything for you. Surely that was worth something. “I know that too”

“And you know that I’d be a wreck if I ever lost you”

Was there any reason for you to think the real Dean didn’t feel the same way?

You smiled up at him. Watching his body instantly relax as he rubbed a thumb along your jawline. “How about you go start a shower, I’ll come join you”

He beamed down at you, letting his hand drop to your side, rubbing up and down the length of your arm “I’d like that”

“me too” You nodded, not lying, watching as he left to go start the water leaving you alone with the knife.

You picked it up, prinking your finger just enough to let some of the blood start to flow. You took a deep breath and plunged the knife into your abdomen before you could talk yourself out of it.

You came to gasping for air, both of the Winchesters jumping at the sudden, unexpected movement. Quick, shallow breaths escaped your lips as you scanned the area, trying desperately to get your bearings.

Only after you had deemed yourself safe did you become aware of Sam’s voice, trying to calm you, calling out your name, with a hand on your shoulder grounding you. Blankly you looked at him, watching his lips move but not really listening to what he was saying.

You moved your gaze up, connecting with familiar green eyes a few feet further away. He was frozen on the spot, his hands laying limply at his sides, his mouth just slightly parted as you stared at you not saying a word.

You held his gaze, trying to calm your breathing, trying to push down your panic, trying to convince yourself that you had made the right decision.

You looked back at Sam, giving him a nod before trying to push yourself up from the chair, your arms shaking violently as you put weight on them, the effects of blood loss taking control.

The brothers were by your side in an instant, each taking an arm and helping you get to your feet. You looked down at where Dean’s hands were resting on your arm, the entire area tingling in a way that fake Dean’s touch had never done. Dean followed your gaze and immediately retracted his hands, letting Sam do more of the work to keep you standing. Wordlessly you looked back up at him, watching his mouth open and close as he struggled with the words to say.

You gave him a moment, silently begging him to say anything, to not force you to have to lead the very difficult conversation that laid ahead of you. But he eventually just shut his mouth, and nodded, and maybe that was enough for now.

The ride back to the bunker was long and silent, Dean hadn’t even turned on the radio, letting the air get thick as you laid in the backseat and tried to ignore the looks he sent your way through the rear-view mirror.

Sam had fallen asleep before you arrived home. Dean giving him a soft shake to wake him up before helping you out of the car, letting you lean heavily on him as you slowly made your way inside.

The bunker looked nearly identical to the one you just left. The one where you shared your best moments with Dean, the one you killed yourself in. Dean didn’t ask before leading you into the kitchen, pouring you a glass of orange juice, telling you that you needed to get your blood sugar up, the first words he had spoken to you all night.

You half expected him to leave you at the table alone, knowing you wouldn’t be the best conversation buddy at the moment, knowing the tension would be thick enough to cut with a knife. But he sat down across from you, not prompting you to say anything.

You eyed the kitchen counter, fixing your gaze at the block that sat on top of it.

“Those were the knives I used to do it” You watched as he followed your gaze to the knives on the counter, his jaw clenching but not saying anything, letting you continue only if you wanted to.

“I actually fell for it at first” Your voice sounded hollow and empty, and honestly at this point you felt the same way. Everything you had ever wanted was right in your grasp, then you threw it all away, is this how dean felt on the night he told you the truth? “I wanted it all to be true so badly you know?” you were blinded by a gorgeous hunter with green eyes, but it wouldn’t exactly be the first time “then he came and told me it was fake, daring me to do something about it, and I actually considered not doing a damned thing”

You were embarrassed, ashamed even, at how quickly you gave up. You were a hunter, it was you job to hunt monsters like him, and even when you knew exactly who he was you did nothing. You were pathetic.

“It’s hard” His gruff voice drew your attention back to him, his was staring down at his hands, refusing to make eye contact “to give up everything you’ve ever wanted”

You could feel the lump forming in your throat but tried to swallow it down. Was he talking about his own time with a djinn, or was he talking about you. “it was perfect”

Dean nodded softly, keeping his gaze fixed at the table top ”Why did you come back?”

Because there was a Djinn on the loose killing people, because you had a home to come back to, because you knew what was in there wasn’t real. “because of you”

Dean’s eyes snapped up to your’s but you could tell he still didn’t believe you, that his mind was still trying to manipulate that explanation, to analyze it in any way that wasn’t the correct, obvious one.

You tried to continue but found you couldn’t keep talking while he was looking at you like that, you set your gaze to the table top, taking a few breaths to push the lump down again before continuing “you were my perfect Dean”

Dean could feel his heart jump into his throat at your words. He was there, he was in your version of heaven, but what exactly did that mean

“I thought about staying because things were easy. There was no dark past, no hard conversations, no difficult decisions. But I didn’t want that, I wanted you”

Dean could feel the lump rise in his own throat. How on earth could you want him. He had screwed up everything, he had hurt you, he had gotten you kidnapped by a djinn, and now he had taken away your perfect life. Who would choose someone like that willingly.

You chanced another look at him to see Dean leaning heavily on the table staring intently at you, hanging on to your every word. You took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for what you were about to say. You leaned forward and place a hand on top of Deans, neither of you breaking eye contact. You tried to swallow the lump, blink away the tears, but nothing worked, everything was on the verge of spilling over.

“I forgive you Dean”

Everything froze. He swore his heart stopped beating at your words. His mouth dropping open just slightly, his eyebrows slowly drawing up, his breath slowly coming back to him “why”

You swallowed again, you’d thought enough about this to know exactly what your answer was going to be. “because I still believe I can put my trust in you, because I know you regret what you did more than anything, because you saved my life tonight, because I just lived a perfect life with you, but mostly because I am totally and completely in love with you”

Dean placed another hand on top of yours, rubbing the skin softly, trying his best to ground himself. “but-“

“no buts Winchester” You couldn’t help but chuckle, dipping your head trying to capture his gaze again “you made some mistakes in the past but look where I ended up: I’m safe. And if I’m lucky, with the guy I had always wanted to be with in the first place”

A ghost of a smile played on his face as he gripped your hand tighter “I don’t understand how you could forgive me so easily”

“I’m tired of being mad at you” You admitted, sending him a soft smile trying to get him to lighten up “and when I was in that…illusion…I realized that I could live my dream if I wanted to, I was the only one standing in my way”

“and you’re sure I’m part of that dream”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything”

#dean winchester #dean #reader insert #Dean Winchster #dean fanfiction #dean imagine #dean fan fiction #dean fic #SPN #spn fanfic #spn fan fiction #spn oneshot #spn imagine #supernatural #supernatural oneshot #supernatural one shot #supernatural imagine #dean one shot #dean oneshot

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ofclaude · 4 years

Text

| assessment of canon; tifa & cloud.

okay, so while this is not an ‘oh my god i hate tifa’ post-- it’s my views on her ( attempted ) thing with cloud --people who don’t wanna hear about how her behaviour is wildly detrimental to cloud’s well-being don’t want to read the following :))

disclaimer: it does piss me the fuck off.

cloud is not fit nor willing to be a husband, a father, even a brother - & barely a friend. a friend, sure, but one who isn’t present much. he has so much fucking trauma which a) fucks up his sense of self, b) means he needs so much help & so little responsibility. personality & basic human composition combined mean he needs alone time & an environment without any pressure, to figure himself out & have any hope of recovery. he’s figured this much out, & accordingly given himself a job that makes it just him & his bike - while still helping out the people he cares about with money/odd jobs.

these are his boundaries. these are in accordance with his needs.

i respect tifa as a character in her own right insofar as i’ve experienced her, but in relation to cloud she is...insufferably demanding &, i think, by choice blind to the reality that cloud is not who she wishes him to be. this is not insufferable to me because she wants a relationship with him or whatever - idgaf. anybody gets to want shit from people. it’s the way she goes about wanting shit from him that’s wrong.

tifa does not see or is unwilling to see cloud’s needs & boundaries. & if you’ve managed to be that blind to someone’s entire personality & mental bullshit for years while clinging to the idea that you know them better than they know themselves...

oh honey you are not :)) loving ;)) nor :)) caring :))))))

that’s literally ruining someone’s life.

i’m not exaggerating, because i don’t need to. this is the shit that grinds people further down until they commit suicide, instead of letting them recover. if you don’t wanna be real about that, why the fuck are you trying to write with a/my cloud lmao. i’m judging you.

tifa demands the sort of commitment one may expect from a husband & father traditionally, without any consideration of what cloud wants. & i do mean this, i’m not just saying ‘oh she doesn’t even care ://’ to soothe my need for a reason to get pissed at her. i’d rather not have a reason, especially not one this fucking shitty. i mean that when tifa demands-- is it us or a dream? --she’s assuming a fuck of a lot: a) that he has the capacity for & b) consented to this level of responsibility, let alone c) wants it. that ‘the dream’ is not, in fact, far more important than what’s currently in his reality--

--because he’s lost so much, including his ability to be healthy & happy?? until he recovers & even then there will always be a stain on his life that means he is not a traditional anything. & maybe you know he doesn’t want to be how ‘bout that.

does he not get to grieve on his own terms? & why not - because she needs emotional commitment or an expression thereof that he does not indicate he wants? does he not get to wish for a life other than the hellhole he’s stuck in perpetually due to the horror in his own brain? does he not get have his own personal space, which is clearly far larger than she understands or wishes to? does he not need to be away from responsibility for lives, when he is crippled by terror when he is as such responsible?

he has so much shit to work through, & she demands a situation wherein that cannot be done.

she delivers her demands as though her vision of the future is what’s good for him, too, & this is where i get pissed. because this is a flagrant display of posing your own wants & needs in such a way that another ought to want it to - not because you think they do, but because you want them to want it. it’s absolutely, harmfully, selfish. because you want them to be what you want. she is not, in any way that is detached from her wants, considering him. just trying to use him to fulfil her own wishes. she’s not an uwu baby, she’s being extremely harmful. she’s a flawed character like any of them, & that she’s trying to take care of kids & is generally about being good to people should not erase an awareness of this - not if you want to write with my cloud if you write tifa.

hewwo??? hewwo??? she doesn’t know him. he barely knows him. he is not who she grew up with -- even if he didn’t go through hell, life would have changed him. & he did go through hell.

no offence but if you demand a person ditch all their attempts at taking care of themselves- which in his case especially means he will fucking die under the weight of your demands -because you’ve decided they agreed to taking care of your hopes & dreams for your own reality, you’re a sack of shit. period. holy fuck.

tifa is not good for cloud. i sincerely doubt she has any ill intent, but she is selfish & short-sighted & likely ignorant. ‘we all lost’ yaddah yaddah that’s great susan but you didn’t all get experimented on, brainwashed, stuck in a vat, & so on. shut the fuck up, you don’t have it as bad as him, what the fuck?? just because he won’t hold your hand & smile for the picture you want your life to be?? oh yes just because you can handle this kind of life & want to, that means it’s best for him too!

NO.

cloud is fighting. hard. for himself. & he absolutely gets to. he doesn’t have to do shit for anyone, yet he still tries to help provide - & that’s the level he’s comfortable with. he doesn’t owe her even that much, because no-one owes anyone else a role like a provider or a husband or a father or even a fucking friend. nothing, anywhere, suggests that they’ve talked this out. tifa is violently unaware of cloud’s needs & boundaries & violates them all. cloud doesn’t talk to her, but he picks a job that keeps him away. hello??? take a hint?? tifa’s supposed to be better at this & is shown to be. she can take a fucking hint, but she won’t.

edit: she’s using him to cope. clinging to this idea of a life, because she too has lost a lot & this is it, this is how she deals with that.

no.

no, they are not good for each other.

she wants something that he isn’t & does not have, & he needs what she can’t be satisfied with.

i don’t give a shit what other people ship, but don’t COME AT ME. as a mentally ill person with a big personal space who’s only recently begun to get better- & fast -because i set my own boundaries the miles away that they exist & don’t let people take what they want from me, this is just. so. urgh. like are you fucking kidding me?? if tifa looked at cloud from any perspective that is not unreasonable & selfish, she’d understand he is not who she wants him to be. he is not the guy who wants to be what she wants him to be, & if he did want to -- right now it’s killing him to be pressured, right now he needs to Not.

shut. up.

& if anyone wants to pretend ‘i just hate tifa as a character’ -- sure, honey, go on. pretend she’s flawless, i don’t care. but if anyone wants to write their tifa with my cloud, they’re going to have to acknowledge this because otherwise miss me with that shit. just fuck right the hell off, on god.

#psa.#headcanon; cloud #i'd call it a fandom wank if this wasn't y'know. an explanation of her canon.#HAVE FUN STAY HYDRATED & IF YOU GOT PISSED AT ME FOR THIS...THE ONLY THING I WANT YOU TO CONSIDER IS that i don't give a fuck #long post for ts

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ibitchytimemachine · 5 years

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Author Showcase

Ok so for this first Author Showcase, I decided to review four of my favorite fics from an author who writes mostly one shots. I love so much of what she writes, and am so excited when she posts something new because I know it is going to be in depth, emotional, twisty and just everything I want out of a fic. So we will be diving into four fics from @blacksheep1105, Fine, Royal Jewelry, The Sweetest Dream and her newest fic, Within. You can click each of these titles to read the fics, or you can click the titles in the post to go to the works!! Thoughts below the cut!

Fine

So this fic is absolutely my favorite story from Sheep. I love the whole message behind it. Bulma is feeling pretty shit about something doesn't matter what it is, cause people get pissy about serious shit and stupid shit so it's realistic. Yamcha is a total douche to her, blowing her off and then momma briefs just blows her off too. BUT then here comes Vegeta and he offers her what she needed, a sounding board.

So firstly, i love this idea of Vegeta seeking Bulma out when she's upset because he realizes she's helped him after the GR explosion just cause she's a good person. And he kinda liked that… and he kinda wants to share that feeling back with her. I can see that as a legit like canon reason their whole friendship turn relationship begins. Sure Vegeta is OOC in this fic, but he needs to be to get the moral across so it doesn't bother me.

Sheep has fantastic characterizations of Yamcha and Panchy too. Yamcha is completely oblivious, and carefree and douchey. Panchy is also oblivious and too happy and whatever…. She is like a stepford wife wanting and needing everything to be perfect.

This is the best thing ever. I have crippling anxiety/depression. Sometimes i freak out about seemingly stupid things. Sometimes i just need people to notice me. I'm not one to scream and make a big deal about my feelings (especially online) but sometimes i just try to tell people.. hey im not ok. If you run into someone who is not ok - let them vent. Please dont tell them its ok. And this is advice i need to take too cause i suck at people, but just be there for them. And go read this one shot cause it is fantastic.

The Sweetest Dream

So I think this is the fic most people know by her, and rightfully so. One thing that Sheep does really well is creating an atmosphere. From the very beginning of the piece you can feel the tension in the air, Bulma’s complete despondency. The way she fixates on certain objects in the room and describes how Bulma walks by them and thinks about them really adds to the idea of a great obsession or depression. I like the bookending of the scenes with words, helps drive home this obsessive feeling. And Bulma is very obsessed at this point. Vegeta is lost to war and her life is once again thrown into turmoil.

Each scene drives home the fact that Bulma is basically killing herself with grief. Between the details of things that happened in the past, and sheer world building that takes place all in one room of the palace (and the world feels so much larger than the palace which is really special) the story feels rich. One of my favorite details is when the servant comes in and she is wearing golden chains because she is going to be around the royals, but that she will go back to wearing the iron (or steel) chains when she is relegated to the kitchens in the upcoming week.

It is really nice touch that you need to pay attention to the passage of time. I have to admit I had to read the story a few times before I actually understood what was happening, but only because I didn’t pay attention to the time stamps. The utter horror that you feel at the end of the piece is so heartbreaking. Bulma gets her world torn away from her, then its given back and hell if it isn’t torn away again. The emotion in the piece is fantastic. Speaking of emotion…. This last scene with the Beeps… fuck it is heartbreaking. Like I cry reading it. She keeps this Beep throughout the scene and it helps build the tension and takes the emotion to another level by having the reader focus on this sound that is driving Bulma out of her dreamland… and the last beep reverberates so much because it is like a blackout scene at the end of a TV show and it just fucking rings in the audiences brain… Just very very intelligently written.

Royal Jewelry

So this piece is the first I read from her and there are several things I really love about it.

The first is the humor in it. It is not a serious piece and it is written in the way that reminds us that it is not serious. She was so smart in the way she chose words to elicit a humorous response in the reader. Even in some of the smut there is an irreverent humor that is just really special and I think adds exponentially to the charm of the piece. Bulma is in the IDGAF stage of dealing with Vegeta and his sex bullshit, hell even the name of the piece is a wink and its almost puny which I adore a good pun so that always good.

The next thing is the smut. Its just a fantasy, but it is written really well. Vegeta is imagining all these things and who the hell knows if it is actually gonna happen, but it is pretty damn detailed. Her choice of terminology is fantastic and really feels dirty in the best way. Her descriptions of things like the way Bulma is shaved and how Vegeta will push her deeper into the bed as he fucks her is really really hot. Also, I can’t forget to mention my personal favorite, when Vegeta is imagining how his dick will spread her lips as he puts it inside her. The imagery is just on point and really stellar.

The last thing I want to talk about is the tone of this piece and the growth that I see from this piece to her most recent fic Within. This piece is astoundingly different in tone from the other pieces I have reviewed here. She has a talent for writing heavier pieces, but she also writes humor and light things just as well which I really can’t say for everyone. This piece is good - I genuinely enjoy it, but it is quite a bit more raw feeling than her most recent pieces. I completely blame that on practice, she has been writing in this way a lot longer and the growth is astounding between this first piece of hers and the new stuff. This last piece is so well put together and I can see how her writing is just getting better and better and better with each piece she puts out. I am genuinely astounded by how good she was when she started putting pieces out there, but then I think about how fantastic Within is and there is such a difference in her writing. So I commend her on working at getting better.

Within

So this is Sheep’s submission for the Vegebulocracy Mini Bang 2019. It is absolutely fantastic and combines all of the best things she does into one piece (minus smut, there are a few hot scenes, but if you are looking for smut, its not here). The freaking tension she builds in this piece is fantastic. You really have no clue what the end game of the piece is until the very end. And then when the twist hits you, it is insane. The way she has Vegeta use his sexuallity against Bulma is fantastic. There are two places he freaking plays with her sexual attraction to him just for shits and giggles. And hell the last time he flirts with her, he does it simply to knock Bulma off her guard so he can get the information he wants out of her.

This is her best work. I say that knowing just how fucking good The Sweetest Dream is, but the range of emotions in this piece is really fantastic. She writes this wonderful sexual tension, humor, anger. And they all fit within the piece in a fantastic way, but also they are so in character. She uses the same bookending device where she repeats a phrase at the beginning and end of a scene and it works so nicely to anchor the main theme of each section. This is a freaking complex one shot and it was quite ambitious of her to write this for something like the Mini Bang.

If you don’t read anything else by her, read this one. She captures such an amazing range of emotion in it.It has this beautiful plot that feels meandering, but all of a sudden all the parts fit together and you see what is happening, which makes second read throughs so nice.

Something I really love about Sheep’s writing, is the uniqueness of her ideas. I would have never come up with the twists that she did in The Sweetest Dream or Within. They are truly fantastic story ideas and hell if they aren’t really really well written. One thing that I will say is that as I read through her pieces again, I see so much growth in her writing. She started with Royal Jewels, which is NICE, but then when you read some of her other pieces you see this wonderful Craftsman she is. Because she is not a native English speaker some words have contextual issues, but the main idea is always there. Some slight grammar things are in the pieces, but they are not issues that take away from the reading experience at all. It takes her a lot of time to write, partly because of the fact she is writing in English instead of German, but I whole heartedly believe that her pieces are worth the wait. They are super unique, the twists are fabulous, they are slightly dark (which I love), really well written and I gotta be honest, sometimes I want a really good story that doesnt take me a week to read cause it is 300,000 words. Please take some time to go read this awesome authors works, I 100 percent recommend the above ones, but she has others that are really really great too!!

If you liked this review, after you check this fic out, head over to my A03 and read some of my stuff!

#BTM Fic Review #blacksheep115 #fanfic review #A03 #fanfic recommendation #go read these cause they are awesome #happy birthday girl

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