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dark666posting · 5 months

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Obsession

TW: NON-CON, NON-CON, NON-CON *** Flayed Billy, dark!Billy

Oops I started this story in like 2022 lmao. Here it is, more Flayed Billy™️

Happy New Year!!!

"Yeah? Well, next time you want your dick sucked, you can call Mrs. fucking Wheeler!" You screamed into the car before slamming the door with all your strength. You successfully held back tears as you stomped away from your now ex-boyfriend's car and shoved through your front door. In the Camaro, Billy sat fuming.

A common occurrence for him on the job is to flirt frequently with the older, married women. He never intended on going anywhere with it, until he did. And he got caught pretty quickly after. Billy's mommy issues tied him to the maternal comfort of older women, but you were the only woman he cared about. The only woman he wasn't letting get away. Breaking up certainly wasn't an option whether you knew it or not.

Billy tried to mentally talk himself down before he followed behind you. Your parents are out of town for the week, so he doesn't worry about being stopped.

"Y/N, can we please talk about this? I don't know what you think you saw-" his gaslighting is cut off.

"I know what I saw! Get the fuck out of my house!" You yell, throwing a book in his direction. The two of you weren't strangers to getting physical with each other.

"Hey!" Billy dodges the book, quickly turning to face you again. A look of pure anger is plastered on his face, but he remains poised as best as possible. "Darling, I am trying to fix this. We aren't breaking up." His voice trembles with the strain of withholding his rage.

"We are broken up. This is fucking over." You've never backed down from him before and you didn't plan on starting today. "As of right fucking now, Hargrove, I am single."

"Oh, you're single?" His voice is quiet and he's eerily calm compared to his struggle earlier. He steps toward you and at first, you stand firm, but the closer he gets, the more you shuffle backward. "You're single?" He asks again, expecting a response.

"Y-Yes. Just like you pretended to be." Billy slaps you across the face quicker than you could register, knocking you to the floor. "What the fuck?!" You clutch your cheek as a fiery sting spreads across your skin.

"Let me show you what happens to sluts that don't have boyfriends to protect them." He grabs you by your hair and damn near drags you to the couch. You kick and fight, doing everything in your power to loosen the pull on your scalp.

"Billy, stop!" You scream as he wrestles you onto the couch. He's exceptionally strong and you are no match.

"Look at you. This isn't even hard for me. You need me to protect you or else someone could have his way with you any time he wants." Billy's voice sounds like a taunt. He successfully pins your wrists together under one of his hands and the other starts to roughly rub your cunt through your jeans.

"What the fuck? Let me go, what are you doing?" You squirm and jerk away from him, feeling panic and pleasure as his hand creates friction against you. "Billy, please stop!" Tears well in your eyes. You've never seen him like this, and he doesn't seem to be letting up. He stares down at you with a blank, serious face. You beg him repeatedly with your eyes, wishing you would've just locked the door behind you.

"You're not safe without me. I have to show you." Billy's emotionless expression sends chills down your spine. It's like any part of him that held morals or empathy has been completely shut down.

"No, please," you whimper, but to no avail. Billy slips his hand in your pants, past your panties, slipping a long, nimble finger between your folds. You release a yelp, earning a small, short-lived smirk from Billy. He continues to delicately rub your clit, you melt into his touch before something seems to click in his mind.

"But this is how your boyfriend would touch you. Look how wet you are, you love it. Now I'm gonna show you how a whore gets fucked." Suddenly he tears his hand away, leaving you silently begging for contact. He effortlessly slips your pants from your body and tears your skimpy tank top in half, leaving you in nothing but your panties. You blush as your exposed breasts bounce from Billy's rough treatment.

You assume he's just going to keep toying with you. Another attempt to win you over with an orgasm as he had plenty of times before, even if this was a bit scarier. You're torn from your thoughts when you hear the sound of his belt buckle jingling against itself.

Your eyes go wide as he reveals his throbbing erection. He looms over you, stroking himself as he drinks in the image of you trembling beneath him.

"Billy, I don't want to have sex. Get out of my house. We aren't gonna fuck and pretend we're fine anymore-" he stuffs his length down your throat, cutting you off.

"I don't know how to make it any clearer for you, Y/N. You're too fucking stupid to realize what's happening. It's almost cute." Billy plugs your nose, effectively cutting off all your oxygen as he holds your head against him despite your arms swatting at him for dear life.

It finally dawned on you, that this was not his usual roughness and inability to take "no" for an answer. And you weren't about to get away from him. Panic takes over, controlling your next move. You try to kick and swat him away, but he's inhumanly strong. Stronger than what you're used to, you realize. When he finally allows you to take a breath you look up at him with watery eyes.

"Billy, please," you garble through the drool pooling in your mouth. Your jaw aches from the invasion.

"If you're not mine, I'll make sure nobody wants you," he growls as his expression grows darker. His eyes seem like they belong to someone else and small, black veins rise all over his skin. He looks like a monster, a creature you can't describe. You release a horrified scream before he jerks you from the couch and slams you down on the hardwood floor. Your head smacks the wood with a sharp thud, knocking your vision unsteady.

"Baby, listen. I-I'm sorry. Let's just fuck and make up, okay? Like we always do," you try so hard to reason with him as a sharp ache echoes through your skull. You're petrified, certain he's contracted some sort of rabies-like illness causing this outburst.

"Something's... Happening, Y/N." Billy stares off into the distance, looming over you. "I just... I just need to hurt you." The black, spidery veins beneath his skin grow darker as he admits his intentions.

"Please," you sob uncontrollably. "Please don't hurt me, baby." Billy ignores your pathetic pleas and stares down at your exposed supple chest. A primal, starving sigh exits his body and in the blink of an eye, his large, powerful hand is clasped tightly around your throat. You wheeze and gag, but to no avail, your oxygen is completely cut off. You're certain that with any more effort, he'd crush your windpipe like an empty soda can.

Billy's free hand slaps your breasts around and roughly tugs at your hardened nipples. Each touch he lays on you is sharp and jarring, devoid of any amount of love and care he barely showed even on a good day. You're clawing at his hand around your neck, turning all new shades of purple and blue and he holds you down. Slowly, your hits become weak and sloppy and your vision fades from blurred to black.

Once you're out cold, he tosses your unconscious body over his shoulder and lugs you into your bedroom. Not to be kind or show you any kind of comfort or mercy, but because the bed is the perfect height for him to splay your legs open and tear you to pieces.

He carelessly tosses you into the mattress, stroking himself as he watches you lie there, seemingly lifeless, wearing nothing but a pair of white lace panties. Those are short-lived as he effortlessly snaps the fabric from your body. You're his, completely. He wastes no time toying with you since you're already unresponsive, so he positions his cock at your entrance and shoves himself inside.

He's rough and unyielding as he bucks into you, forcing your body to lubricate his erection for easier access. You're still unconscious, unknowingly being fucked by your ex-boyfriend. He huffs and grunts like a wild animal, continuously readjusting his hands around your body parts for more leverage.

Your legs are lazily tossed over his shoulders, and he holds your wrists to pull you against him with each thrust. Suddenly, you wake up. All the violent fucking you'd endured before waking up seems to hit you all at once and you release a pained cry. The sound of your distress elicits a vulgar moan from Billy.

"Please, no! Billy, stop!" You whine, writhing and squirming against him, only stimulating him further. He moans some more, clearly approaching his climax. Finally, somehow, you're able to angle your leg to kick him away. You land a sharp, calculated kick to his jaw and he stumbles backward, giving you time to take off down the hall.

Billy screams your name like a monstrous roar, tearing through your home to chase after you. He knocks over shelves and side tables, breaking a lamp in the process. Your house looks ransacked. When he rounds the corner and spots you again, you're struggling to get the door open, loud sobs hiccup from your chest, and tsunamis of tears fall from your eyes.

"You're fucked now. That was me being gentle." He cracks his knuckles before slowly, confidently approaching you. You scream again in fear before finally getting the lock to unlatch. You frantically spill out the door and onto the porch. You're nearly off the last step when he grabs you by your hair, yanking you backward into him.

"Billy, no. Billy-" Your words fall out of you quickly with a more collected, serious tone to them as you begin to panic. You don't know if he's going to continue fucking you, or just kill you here on the front lawn. It's dark and your house is a little more secluded than most, something you saw as a good thing until tonight.

Billy holds you by the wad of your hair he's wrapped his hand in and your wrist, keeping you pressed flush against his broad, muscular body.

"I just need to hurt you." He echoes his own words before shoving you cruelly to the ground. You land on the front of your body with barely any time to catch yourself. The rough grassy yard is less than pleasant when it catches you. Billy swiftly climbs on top of you, pinning your arms behind your back and pressing his bulge against your ass.

He forces himself back inside your abused cunt and ruts into you like his life depends on it. You're right next to a road, but it's so late, that it'd be nearly impossible to see someone pass by at this hour. Until they do. You spot a set of headlights coming down the road and you try to thrash around to get their attention. Billy notices this attempted call for help and buries your face into the ground, continuing his mission.

As the car draws closer, you realize that it is too dark for you to see the thick shrubbery completely concealing you and Billy from the road. The car drives right past and you release a quiet sob into the dirt.

"No one's coming for you, Y/N," he growls between thrusts. Finally, his rhythm begins to waver. His breathing becomes labored and unsteady and he finally slams into you one last time, filling you up for a moment before he pulls out and finishes cumming all over your back and in your hair. He lays a brutally aggressive slap on your ass cheek and leaves you there. You hear his car start and pull out of the driveway, all the while you remain on the ground.

Silent, blank-faced tears fall down your face. You manage to peel yourself off the ground and drag yourself inside before the sun begins to rise. You sit in a warm bath, still in shock when you realize your hand is wandering to the sore opening between your legs. You can't help but relive every second he tore into you. You don't understand this feeling, but it brings you to orgasm in mere minutes.

The rest of the night you're anxious and afraid. Afraid he'll come back, or worse, afraid he won't. You recall all the parasitic veins spreading over his skin and you shudder. He's not well, and you were merely a casualty of that.

He just needed to hurt you.

#tw: noncon #dark!fanfiction #dark!fic #non con #dark!stranger things #dark!billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy stranger things #non con billy hargrove #flayed billy hargrove #billy hargrove non con #billy hargrove #billy hargrove smut #billy hargove imagine #billy hargrove x reader non con #billy hargrove fanfiction

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hier--soir · 19 days

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feb + mar + apr reads

norma jean baker of troy by anne carson [★★★★★]

"Sometimes I think language should cover its own eyes when it speaks."

"Is she human? Are you? Is she a beast out of control? There's so much danger. No human can become just a beast, you plunge beyond - beyond what? Remember Jack the Ripper? 'I'm down on whores and I shan't quit ripping them till I get buckled,' Jack wrote in a letter to the newspaper, September 18, 1888. He never did get buckled. Of course insane, his mind blooming with it, who could go down that rabbit-hole or unlock such a puzzle as Jack? - but still, the woman! the thing is! the woman has everything and you smile and you take some."

: ̗̀➛ an exploration of the lives and myths of marilyn monroe and helen of troy.

: ̗̀➛ anne carson is there anything you can't do? please email me back. please.

piglet by lottie hazell [★★★★]

"'I want to make some food,' she said. 'For both of us?' he asked. 'No, just for me.'"

: ̗̀➛ one woman, piglet, and the lead up to her wedding in the face of a big confession from her fiancé.

: ̗̀➛ this one slipped beneath my skin and writhed around the spot inside me where i've tucked away all of my food issues.

merciless gods by christos tsiolkas [★★]

"I'm scared that if I let go, not only the room, not only this city, but the whole world will go cold forever."

"Your false gods cannot save you. There is only one God, my God."

: ̗̀➛ short stories that bash you over the head with how awful things and people and places can be. i did not live for this one... particularly wasn't into the one where a guy jerked his dad who has alzheimers off.

foe by iain reid [★★]

"All day. Time keeps moving. I've always thought that was a good thing. Until recently. I'm not so sure now. Is it good? For time to go by fast?"

: ̗̀➛ they want to send junior to space and replace him with a robot that looks and acts and talks exactly like him so his wife has company in his absence.

: ̗̀➛ marriage and trust and complacency, and a guy called terrence who we get reminded over and over has long gorgeous hair.

: ̗̀➛ a little boring for my taste. i had an idea of where it was going pretty early on, and it took a while for me to be proven right. pretty disconcerting!

acts of desperation by megan nolan [★★★★]

"The need was a true and human part of me, but I could feel nothing else of myself to be true or human, and so the need seemed ungodly, an aberration."

: ̗̀➛ a book full of confession, desire, jealousy, violence, and power. messy messy messy!!!! readers procceed with caution.

: ̗̀➛ shout out to everyone who said i should read this - you were right, it is up my alley.

gone girl by gillian flynn [★★★★]

"My wife was no longer my wife but a razor-wire knot daring me to unloop her, and I was not up to the job with my thick, numb, nervous fingers. Country fingers. Flyover fingers untrained in the intricate, dangerous work of solving Amy. When I'd hold up the bloody stumps, she'd sigh and turn to her secret mental notebook on which she tallied all my deficiencies, forever noting disappointments, frailties, shortcomings."

: ̗̀➛ i have become a gillian flynn STAN this year, it's true. despite having seen the movie multiple times, i enjoyed reading this, and was delighted to find some differences in the texts [for better and for worse].

: ̗̀➛ nick dunne, big fan of the lie of omission, mama's boy whose mama is dead, i'd like to introduce you to couples therapy.

dead beautiful and life eternal by yvonne woon [reread] [★★★]

: ̗̀➛ the first two books in a paranormal romance trilogy. these kinda bang guys, i can't lie. 15-year-old me was onto something when she decided to keep these instead of donating them. however, they DO have some of the worst book covers i've ever seen, sorry yvonne.

fourth wing by rebecca yarros [★★★]

: ̗̀➛ a romantasy book that has dragons, smut, and twists that you'll see coming from a mile away. pretty fun. recced to me by one man in person and a thousand women on tik tok.

: ̗̀➛ no one who has the thought 'double standards for the win' is using 'whomever' in a casual sentence with the guy she's having sex with.

: ̗̀➛ good enemies to lovers should have actual murder attempts. but maybe that's jusT MY OPINION.

my book rating system is as follows:

★ = i felt pure contempt the entire time

★★ = yeah it's a book

★★★ = i liked it!

★★★★ = good fucking book, damn

★★★★★ = blew my dick clean off and i'll throw a tantrum if everyone i know doesn't also read it and love it

#what i've been up to!#if you've read any of these lets talk #books #jessie reads

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hijinxinprogress · 8 months

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Young justice and the titans not getting along makes no sense to me. You’re telling me the titans did dumb shit and hated being micromanaged by the league but then a couple years later they’re doing the same thing?? that’s so dumb?? the titans are like “god you remember what we were doing when we were their age?? Were we that small?? Fuck, do you know what we’re supposed to do besides feed small people?? This would be so much easier if any of us went to therapy”

The titans help yj get away with shit all the time

“Young Justice just blew up one of Luthor’s vacation homes, did you know about this?? Where are they!?” “Who’s young justice? It’s not my fault…I plead the fifth…?”

Kori has claimed Kon and now has beef with Luthor and Clark

Besides Wally, Bart is closest with Kori and they trade stories about their homes bc it’s nice to talk to someone who’s gets it

Greta and Garth are like sitting at the bottom of a pool and gossiping about their teams

YJ and the titans have city wide manhunt games once a month and the jl hates it bc they wake up to their children trending bc they’re jumping off buildings or breaking into civilians’ houses to get away from each other

They race spaceships if they’re not on planet

Greta and Garth are the worst gossips so they just tell each other absurd things about their teammates completely aware that everyone will know within the next 4 hours

Everyone else makes jokes about how Kons what would happen if Kori and Nightwing had a son (he has anger issues, curly hair, he’s alternative, isn’t white, & he’s the mom friend)

Roy and Cissie only compete amongst themselves bc everyone was so sick of them winning that they started cheating or in Kori’s case incinerating the targets

One time he was talking to Kori about mental health stuff and she’s comforting him and mentions that “yeah you get that from nightwing” and nightwing cuts in “Kori, you do that too?? Don’t lie to him”

Whenever Kon loses his temper he’s not afraid of people thinking less of him for it bc it always sparks up the never ending debate about whether Nightwing or Starfire are responsible for Kons temper

“NO FUCK THIS, FUCK YOU, AND FUCK HIM, YOU FUCKING-” “he gets that from you” “he’s floating rn wdym” “yeah his fucking eyes are glowing that’s definitely Kori’s temper” “look at him doesn’t his face remind you of when kori was pissed after I broke my collarbone?” “no listen dick has that same crease between his eyebrows when he’s mad”

“I’m your leader, assholes” “rn all you are is the leading cause of that baby’s short temper”

Kori helped Kon with controlling his powers bc Clark wasn’t gonna do it

Wally and Bart get along!! From the beginning

Besides Nightwing Tim is closest with Vic not even bc they’re fucking nerds but bc they’re both so unbelievably petty

Anita and Rachel should not be left alone together bc they’re always doing nonsense with magic

They mentioned air boarding so Tim and Vic are trying to find the schematics for a hoverboard…💀 Anita and Rachel figured out how to make people feel like they’re suffocating without killing them or doing permanent damage (all the scarring is psychological)

Cissie and Donna get along really well and Cassie pretends they’re jealous

Also, Cassie gets along really well with Roy and Cissie will loudly complain about her older brother hating her

the jl is so tired bc they thought the titans would be helping them with yj and they were wrong

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iamcautiouslyoptimistic · 1 month

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Deja Vu ~ Russell Adler x Female Reader

{Author's Note} This was inspired by @alypink's recent Adler render where he's leaning against a muscle car AND HOO BOY that put tons of thoughts in my head about a younger Adler before he heads off to Vietnam. Reader in this story dated him before he went off to war and they got together again after the events of the Cold War game. I probably got some timeline stuff wrong but I did my research and tried to keep it consistent lol. A horrendous sinus infection has given me a short break from school as I start some medications to clear it up so that means more time for writing! Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy this! I've got plenty of ideas for a younger Adler x reader series so expect more in the future! And let me know if you'd like to be removed or added to the tag list🫶🏻 I don't know if I managed to include everyone that I wanted to so please let me know! AND YES I'm using a Robert Redford gif because they're basically the same person in my eyes LOL {Tag List} @littlemissclandestine @alypink @mctvsh @adlerboi @deadbranch @a-small-writer-in-a-big-world @ghostlythots @glitterypirateduck

Russell Adler x Female Reader

❌Content Warning: none❌

~ ~ ~

1965

“When are you leaving again?”

Adler sends you a glance through dark shades as you pass him a bucket full of water. He takes it easily, hefting it with little issue while you had struggled to lift it only moments ago.

“In a month,” he responds and splashes the bucket’s contents across the windshield of his car. “Higher ups are gettin’ worried about the increased communist presence in Vietnam so they’re sending in some troops. I’ll be going on behalf of the CIA to do some recon and see if we can figure out what’s happening over there.”

You knew that already. He’d told you half a dozen times before but he answered you anyway. He knew how worried you were about the threat of impending war, especially when he was being sent into the midst of it with little choice to refuse.

All you can manage is a nod as you focus on sponging down the window opposite him. He notices your silence and rounds the car, drying his palms on his already damp tank top.

“I’ll be fine, sweetheart,” he murmurs softly as he grasps your chin and guides your face to look at him. You blink back tears and he wipes away the few that manage to escape with gentle thumbs.

“Just gotta make sure the Soviets aren’t meddling in things,” he continues. “It shouldn’t take long.”

You nod as he caresses the curves of your cheeks. “I just want you to be careful.”

And come back alive, you think to yourself. Come back to me.

He leans to press a kiss to the crown of your head. “I will. Promise.”

His lips meet yours in a tender kiss, one that makes you smile and clears the mist from your eyes.

“Now, help me finish cleaning this thing before Sims gets here. He needs to see this baby in all her glory.”

You laugh, feeling your heart lighten as Russ turns up the radio. He bobs his head to The Beach Boys song flowing through the speakers and you promise yourself to commit this moment to memory. The glint of his shades in the sunlight, the shimmer of golden hair as he pushes it off his forehead, the movement of his arms and back as he leans over the hood of his car. The image is imprinted in your mind’s eye for years to come.

~ ~ ~

1982

Adler has changed, though your memories of him have not. He’s still stubborn as a mule with an envy-inducing sense of style and a love for muscle cars. He’s older now, quieter and less open, scarred both physically and mentally after his time in Vietnam. His most recent escapade involved a former Soviet agent who he refuses to talk about so you don’t push the topic. You’re just happy he’s come back to you.

“You gonna keep staring or help me clean this thing?” Russ says with a slight smile. His shades reflect the sun the same way they did all those years ago and you hurry to his side, upping the radio’s volume on the way.

Russ likes to talk about cars and so you let him, enjoying the sound of his voice as he guides you through the inner workings of the machinery before you. He's gentle and careful with his movements, and you notice the serenity in his features. It was one of the few times he was able to relax, a brief moment where he didn't carry the world on his shoulders. You know he's not perfect, far from it, but he deserves this temporary peace and you're thankful that you're present to enjoy it with him.

“Do you know that I love you?” you ask suddenly. The comment makes Russ pause in his work, gaze lifting to yours as he straightens.

"That so?"

You giggle. "You're supposed to say it back, you know," you tease, fully aware of his tendency to play coy with this sort of thing.

He brushes stray strands of hair from your face, the pads of his fingers delicately tracing your features. He was hesitant to touch you these days, fearing you'd be disgusted by his calloused hands, but you made it a point to remind him that such things were a sign that he had survived and kept his promise to you, even if it had taken longer than either of you had anticipated.

"I love you, too," he murmurs, his voice a low whisper, as if he were afraid to release the phrase into the world where it could be taken from him.

You grin and lean to press a kiss to his scarred cheek, hearing his contented sigh as his arms settle around your waist. You promise to commit this moment to memory, just as you had countless times before, adding it to the complicated collection of images and sensations that made up Russell Adler.

#Ren's writing #mine mine mine #russell adler #russell adler x reader #russell adler x you #call of duty black ops cold war #cod bocw #call of duty #cod

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thesupernaturalhouse · 2 months

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Right so- Emily's personality ir charlies design for the hazbins Fallen au?? Which should I talk about first??

Let's go with Emily-

Alright! So, Emily is still her cheery self but also due to the nature of the au defiantly isnt all niave and trusting and stuff

In this au, she's learning about seras lies from others, which I think would give her trust issues. I also made her more, angry

I imagine in the au she holds grudges a lot more, mainly against alastor, and has more of a silent anger type personality- here's a small snippet of the pilot for the au

Emily: alright so now we watch *Katie starts throwing insults* ...oookay- vaggie, spear, down *gently holding said spears tip down

Vaggie: wha- but, come onn

Emily: no 'come onn' I don't think you scaring people with you angelic spear is a good ide- *Katie says soenthifn homophobic* .....neveemind *releases spear* do whatever you want ant. I want that bitch to fear for her life

Or it'd go something like that, I'll work out any kinks when I start writing the story, first I wanna awake an episode layout whoch is harder then it loks- I have the ideas but I need it in a list so- jsut gotta sort through all that

Like she isn't like Vaggie, spear raised, but not like Charlie, easy to forgive.

I do imagine she bites her tounge however if you ask for her hienst's opinion, she will NOT hold back. I think once she and Husk become more of a father-daughter duo, he starts rubbing off on her, and she starts blurting some ruder things out

He is so proud of his little(200k year+) girl

It's probably the most evident when I have her tell of Alastor- which will also be one instance of her being super protective over her found family.....listen I know yall love Alastor i do to, but I think he fandom over hypes him, and so does he himself, and I want Emily to kinda call him out, and threaten him in this au

But that'll be another post :)

Remember how I said charlie and slaviathen are like Ron and Tammy 2 but without all the sex? Yeah, well, then Emily is Diane! Vaggie is to but vaggie mostly focuses on getting them out and stuff. Emily and slaviathen just have passive aggressive argument and comments thrown at each other

"Always a pleasure to meet you charlies friends" "*strained smile* always a pleasure seaweed hair stranger" "oooo-Kay let's go- and let charlie Dela with this"

Why vaggie is passive with sleviathan and Emily is the protective one? Honestly idk but I think it's funny :) maybe it's cause Vaggie knows Charlie doesn't tale shit from slaviathen one bit so lets her gaurd down more because she knows charlie has it, so she's more passive or smth

Emily meanwhiem can't STAND being talked down to so absurd bites back no matter what. Which is also why her breaking point would be Katie calling them a slur.

She hates being talk down to, which stems form her years in heaven being treated as a child by almost everybody, good intentions or not it was still always so condescending to her. Especially when it was from Sera or the other heaven born and elder/arch angles

So she definitely internalized that, remember how I said she was often referred to as 'lucifers replacement' by many elder angles?? Yeah, that's where it MOSTLY stems from

She'd also have resentment and hatred for lucifer because of it all, like "I never want to meet whoever the fuck lucifer is" kinds mentality, it's due to this that she refused to search him uo and relaize he was her girlfriends, one of them, DAD

So the dad beat dad episode is...fun!! Emily gets piss drunk with HER dad, husk after realizing the short man in the middle of the living room is lucifer

It's after that whole song at the beginning happens does she realize he's lucifer, cause charlies only referred to him as dad so-

......I should start drafting a psot for her and Peter's relationship- mlm and wlw solidarityyyy

She also be a lot more sexual active I think because liek heaven is restricted so being in hell with norestricrions she definitely is THRIVING on that freedom

I have a scene planned out for when Angle takes them to that bdsm club that involved her buying black silk stuff because why not-

Anyways, the finale change in Emily, I think, for her personality that is would be she absolutely take sfter a more Sloth like sin

"Screw both of you I'm sleeping in!" She absolutely HATES waking up early in the morning, especially if it's after a night of certain events. Vaggie will throw clothes at her and force her to get up. Charlie will already be downstairs full of energy-

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel au #hazbin hotel emily #hazbin hotel charlie #chaggiem #chaggie #vaggily #charily #chaggily #charles angles #etc #hazbins fallen au #slightly suggetsive

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cillianmesoftlyyy · 5 months

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The Ward Pt. 1 | Jonathan Breech x fem!character

Summary: Jonathan Breech is sentenced to three months in a Dublin psych ward after trying to take his life. He meets a girl and thinks he's fallen in love... but is this just a product of opportunity and loneliness or could it be more?

Warnings: Based heavily on One the Edge (2001) so there is already a lot of mental-health specific discussions. More specifically- mentions of suicide, self-harm, death, depression, anxiety, feeling helpless and alone, medication, vomiting, pregnancy. There is nothing explicitly sexual in pt. 1 so there are no warnings for that here. Please don't read if you think any of the previously mentioned topics could be triggering! Some of this is taken from my personal experience with mental-health issues so read with care.

word count: 3098k

1979- The Smashing Pumpkins 🎶

Up the Junction- Squeeze 🎵

note- I named the female character because I personally don't love using "y/n." It can take away from the story that I'm trying to tell sometimes but the character is supposed to be general enough to be whomever you wish.

additional note (sry)- One the Edge is free on Internet Archive...

Please read the warnings before continuing, thanks!

Jonathan made his way through the hospital corridors, glancing briefly into each room they passed.

“This is a pretty shitty hotel, eh? What do you charge per night? Whatever it is, I’m not fucking paying it,” he stumbled around behind one of the nurses and laughed lightly. They stopped in front of a room.

“This is you. You’re expected in group therapy at 4.” The nurse deadpanned and unlocked the yellow steel door for him. Jonathan poked his head inside the door and whistled low.

“Mhm, yep. Just what I was expecting,” he leaned out again and yelled after the nurse, “would it kill yeh to add some fucking color to this room? Fucking depressing.” He shook his head and wandered inside. He sat down on the mattress, the metal springs popped below and it sagged below his weight. He looked around at the drab gray room, the one window covered by rusted bars, and the bare bedside table. Jonathan emptied his pockets on the bed beside him and moved the carton of cigarettes to the table. A clock on the opposite wall ticked quietly and he watched it with his bright blue eyes, blinking every so often to the rhythm.

A second nurse came by and handed him some clothes, pajamas.

“What are these for?” Jonathan frowned, “I don’t need pajamas.”

“You have to wear them during the day,” the nurse responded.

“Why the hell would I do that when I have my normal clothes?”

“Its policy, it distinguishes you from guests and day patients. In-patients have to wear these.” The nurse pointed to the pile of neatly folded clothes in Jonathan’s arms. “Put them on.”

Jonathan sighed and kicked off his shoes.

“You’re not gonna watch are yeh?” He sneered at the nurse when he didn’t leave immediately. The nurse turned and left, closing the door without another word. Jonathan stripped down to his underwear and examined the clothes that he was given. It was a matching pajama set in an icy blue color with smaller blue designs across the fabric. The sleeves were too short and ended at his forearm and the pants around his midcalf. He pinched the bridge of his nose and cursed under his breath. He put on his shoes and the cardigan he had brought with him, a yellow wool cardigan that still smelled like home.

…

Around 4 o'clock Jonathan left his room and wandered aimlessly through the psychiatric ward, looking for the group therapy room. He walked until he spotted Dr. Figure walking into a small room and called out to him.

“Heya, Dr. Figure. I’m here for my group therapy!” He said with a flare of dramatic excitement. Dr. Figure looked tired and responded with a strained smile.

“Hello, Jonathan. Please come in.” They walked inside the room and Jonathan took a seat in a chair beside a boy around his age wearing a dark blue bathrobe. His light brown hair was messy and long and he wore round wire-framed glasses over his eyes. Dr. Figure sat opposite of him across the circle and cleared his throat as he arranged a stack of papers. Another boy and a girl sat at the circle too though neither of them looked up when Jonathan sat down.

“Good afternoon everyone, thank you for coming today.”

“I didn’t have much of a choice,” Jonathan shrugged and pulled one of his knees up to his chest in the chair and rested his chin on his knee.

“Yes, thank you Jonathan for coming anyway.” Dr. Figure sighed and gestured towards him, “this is Jonathan, everyone. He’s new and he’ll be joining us in group therapy. Why don’t we all introduce ourselves? I’ll start. I’m Dr. Figure and I’m the head psychiatrist here.”

“I’m Toby.” The boy next to Jonathan nodded his head and Jonathan smiled at him. It passed across Jonathan to the girl on his otherside. She glanced up briefly to introduce herself with a small smile.

“I’m Margaret.” She said softly and looked down at her hands again as the last boy introduced himself. He had headphones around his neck and a walkman clipped inside the pocket of his robe. Jonathan looked back at the girl, studying her. She looked as though she hadn’t slept in a while with the dark circles shading her downcast eyes. She was wearing a vintage nightgown, he realized, one with long sleeves and a modest neckline even though the dress was shorter than her knees. On her legs she had long brown socks tucked into a pair of duck boots. Her hair was brushed away from her face and fell straight down her back but he couldn’t see how long it actually was. She had a busted lip, he could tell from the bruising around her bottom lip and a scab that looked as if it was still bleeding. She played with the hem of her nightgown and glanced up again, catching him as he stared at her but he didn’t look away, she did. She flushed and stared at the tan tile around her chair.

“Now I’d like to pass this around and I want you all to add any recent fears or anxieties that may have come up in the last few days that we haven’t talked about yet,” Dr. Figure handed the clipboard to the boy next to Margaret. Toby raised his hand.

“Yes?”

“What if we’re scared of filling out paperwork?” Toby asked and Jonathan laughed. Dr. Figure seemed to genuinely ponder the question before Toby added, “that was a joke,” and Jonathan laughed again.

“Why don’t you tell us what you’re afraid of, doctor?” Jonathan smiled and Dr. Figure exhaled.

“It’s not important.”

“I think you’re deflecting, doctor.”

“Jonathan, if you’d like to discuss my fears then I would be happy to do so at a later time in my office,” Dr. Figure answered calmly.

“Oh, I see. You can analyze us as much as you want but as soon as someone asks the same question of you, you can’t answer, eh?” Jonathan crossed his arms across his chest.

“It’s just not something that I do with my patients during group therapy. This is your time to get better, it isn’t about me.”

“You know what would make me better, doctor?”

“What’s that, Jonathan?” Dr. Figure rubbed his eyes and waited for Jonathan to answer.

“I want clothes that actually fit. These are too short, I look ridiculous! And why do we have to wear fucking pajamas? How am I supposed to feel good about myself walking around in these, eh? And no one told me that girls were gonna be here too! Jesus, it's embarrassing.” Jonathan huffed and complained loudly, leaning forward in his seat sometimes to emphasize his point. He looked over at Margaret who was turning red.

“I understand that you’re upset about the clothes but they shouldn’t matter. You’re here to get better, Jonathan.” Dr. Figure crossed his legs and clasped his hands together.

“Now, if we could, please continue.” He gestured to Margaret to take the clipboard from the boy next to her. As she did so, Jonathan stood up and walked towards the door.

“Thanks, doc. That’s it for today.” He waved his hand and left the room, letting the door close behind him. He went straight to his room and sat down on his bed. Gray light filtered in through the window and he looked out at the rainy streets.

…

That evening he found the rec room and sat down by a window, bracing himself against a heater. Toby was sitting by the window as well and looked up at him when Jonathan approached.

“Hey,” Toby nodded.

“Hey.” Jonathan replied and opened the window but it caught after a few inches.

“It doesn’t open all the way,” Toby smiled, “they don’t want us to jump out.”

“Damnit, that was going to be my plan A,” Jonathan shook his head.

“What’s your plan B?”

“Wait out the next four months,” Jonathan chuckled darkly and reached into his breast pocket for a cigarette.

“They won’t let you smoke that in here,” Toby advised and glanced over at the female nurses speaking quietly near the door.

“I wouldn’t mind getting in trouble with them, eh?” He smirked at Toby who laughed. “Toby, right?”

“Yeah,” Toby nodded and pushed his glasses up his nose.

“Jonathan,” he patted his chest for a second and changed the subject, “By the way, what’s that girl’s story, the one from group.”

“Margaret?” Toby asked and Jonathan nodded. “She’s been here for a week or two. I think we came in around the same time. I don’t know a lot about her because she doesn’t say much in group. It must be hard being the only girl around our age here.” Toby shrugged and continued, “She’s had that busted lip for a while but I’m not sure exactly how she got it. I’ve talked to her a little and she’s nice.”

“And cute,” Jonathan added with a laugh and Toby nodded.

“Yeah, that too. I think she’s been through some shit.”

“Haven’t we all?” Jonathan muttered and Toby nodded knowingly. They sat in silence for a moment before Toby spoke again.

“You know I’ve been sneaking out of here a few times a week at night. I could take you if you wanted.”

“No shit,” Jonathan whispered with a smirk, “really?”

“Yeah. Wanna go tomorrow night?”

“Of course.”

“Ok,” Toby smiled.

“Ok.” Jonathan affirmed and hopped up. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See yah,” Toby waved and went back to looking out the window.

Jonathan left the rec room and wandered further down the hallways, passing the women’s ward. There was one men’s bathroom in the women’s ward and he went in. The opposite end of the bathroom had a short tiled wall that ended in a ledge below a row of barred windows. There were three sinks on his left and two stalls on his right, one a handicapped stall. A single urinal stood against the wall. Sitting on the ledge and leaning against one of the walls of the handicapped stall was Margaret, reading a book. The dying light from the window shone through her nightgown, showing the dark silhouette of her body underneath. She looked up quickly and jumped at seeing her.

“Shit sorry, I thought this was the men’s room.”

“It is, sorry.” Margaret closed her book and hopped down from the ledge, wincing as her feet hit the ground. “I like to read in here.”

“In the men’s room?” Jonathan raised his dark eyebrow, his pink lips pursed.

“No one uses this bathroom in the women’s ward.”

“The male nurses?”

“They aren’t allowed to work in the ward… legal reasons.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and held the book against her chest. He looked at the cover of the book.

“What are you reading?”

“Jane Eyre.”

“That’s a bit on the nose, isn’t it?” Jonathan laughed and she smiled.

“Maybe but I love it. I love anything by the Brönte sisters.” She fingered one of the pages on the book and met his eyes. She had a heart-shaped face with messy unkempt eyebrows and she was short, barely 5”3.

“Did someone have you locked up in their attic?” He joked.

“No, though it would have made my life more interesting.” She smiled at him, her cheeks pressed up into her eyes and flushed slightly from the conversation.

“You’re cute,” Jonathan broke the momentary silence and her eyes widened slightly.

“You don’t know me,” she laughed breathlessly and brushed past him to the door. He spun around and followed her.

“I don’t have to know you to know that you’re cute.” He protested and smiled as she took the door handle in her hand.

“Don’t be stupid,” She frowned and he threw up his hands in surrender.

“Personally, I thought that was pretty smart but hey- wait! Don’t go, I wasn’t actually coming in here to use the bathroom, I just wanted some space.”

She looked at him for a moment and rolled her eyes, “word of advice? Don’t call girls cute, it's demeaning.” She cocked her head at him and left the bathroom. He left after her and watched as she walked down the corridor to her room. She looked back at him and smiled to herself as she went inside and closed the door.

…

Jonathan woke up early the next morning for his private appointment with Dr. Figure. His room was cold and he’d slept in a t-shirt on top of his covers like a child. He was shivering when he finally woke up and quickly changed into his warmer pajamas, gritting his teeth as he remembered how short they were on him. He pulled on a jumper and laced his roughed up sneakers. Stepping out into the corridor, he rubbed his shoulders for warmth and hopped down the stairs two at a time. He pushed open the door to the garden and followed the cement sidewalk through a row of tall hedges. The morning was cold but the sun was already in the sky and shining on the hospital’s grounds. As Jonathan passed through the first set of hedges he looked to the side. Sitting on a small wooden bench was Margaret, still reading Jane Eyre. She had on a pair of men’s blue checkered pajama pants and a dark green jumper, also still wearing her duck boots. She sat with her legs crossed beneath her and her hair billowed in the short rushes of wind. He caught himself looking at her crotch and snapped out of it. He stuck his hands beneath his armpits and walked over, smiling wide when she looked up.

“How was your first night?” She dog-eared the page in her book and squinted up at him.

“Not bad, but I woke up fucking freezing.”

“The heaters don’t work in the rooms. That’s why I go into the bathrooms to read.”

“Or outside,” he pointed at her book. She smiled and looked down for a moment.

“It’s part of my treatment. I spend an hour outside everyday, for the fresh air and sun. It’s supposed to make me happier.”

“You know they have drugs that do the same thing.” Jonathan smiled and rocked back and forth on his feet.

“I don’t take them… I haven’t for a few weeks.”

“Oh?” Jonathan sniffed, his nose already running in the cold air. She thought about telling him why she wasn’t on her meds but changed her mind. Jonathan noticed her change in body language and cleared his throat.

“Look, I’m supposed to have a meeting with the doc. Could you show me where his office is?” He cocked his head to the side, twisting his lips into a smile.

“You think you’re real smooth, don’t you?” She shook her head, laughing.

“Don’t know, it depends on whether or not you say yes doesn’t it?”

“And what if I have something I’d rather be doing?” She smirked slightly and brought her knees up to her chest, balancing her heels on the edge of the bench.

“Do yah?” Jonathan asked.

“Of course.”

“And what is that?” He brought his head back upright and continued to smile, “what would you rather be doing than walking with me?”

“Eating real food at a restaurant with warm bread at the table, or going to a library where I actually have a valid library card, or buying expensive ice cream that I can’t eat because it's freezing outside…” she listed off the items, taping her lips with her index finger. Her cheeks were pink from the cold and Jonathan imagined how soft and cold they would be against his fingers.

“What if in exchange for showing me where the old man’s office is, I buy you an ice cream when we get out of this shithole?” He shuffled his feet in the brown grass and Margaret smiled softly.

“You think we’re getting out of this place?” She shook her head, almost sad but still smiling.

“Why don’t we just pretend we are, for the sake of today?” He shrugged and twisted his torso side to side. She watched him for a second, trailing her eyes over his lanky body stuffed into clothing that was made for someone much younger. She had to admit that he was pretty but there was a reason that they were all in there, and Jonathan wasn’t exempted from that. She nodded and put her feet back on the ground and stood. Holding Jane Eyre in her arms she led Jonathan back to the path in the direction of the smaller house near the border wall.

“So, what ice cream do you like?” Jonathan asked. His sneakers gripped the pavement and sent small pebbles bouncing across the pavement.

“German chocolate,” she answered after a moment of serious deliberation.

“You know, I’ve noticed something.”

“What?” She looked at him as they walked.

“I don’t recognize your accent. You aren’t Irish.”

“No,” she shook her head, “are you disappointed?”

He smiled and put his head back, “No, no. I’m just surprised. You don’t sound British either…” He bit his lip, trying to place her accent.

“I’m American,” she answered for him and pulled her hair to the side of her shoulder.

“American? What are you doing here?” He laughed lightly and she blushed.

“I’m studying here for a semester.”

“Where?”

“Trinity,” she glanced at him, “for Literature.”

“Fuck, no wonder you’re depressed. Why would you come to Ireland for college?” He laughed and she blushed further.

“I just wanted to get away from my family and Ireland seemed like the farthest place from home… and you have a good Literature program here.”

“Ah, all the Irish poets and writers…”

“And Sinead O’conner.” She added and Jonathan laughed loudly.

“You’re funny.”

“And cute, apparently.” She shrugged, “you still haven’t apologized.”

“For what?” He played dumb.

“For calling me cute.”

“I’m not apologizing for pointing out something that’s true.” He argued and she looked up at the sky, pretending to study the clouds.

“I think you’re an asshole, Jonathan.” She looked up at him and he nodded slowly, a small smile stuck to his lips.

“So do I.”

They walked in silence to the house and Margaret left him at the door. He walked in through the door, strips of paint curled and fell onto the doormat.

“Don’t forget that you owe me an ice cream,” she called quietly before the door closed and he gave a little salute before the door snapped shut.

...

end of pt. 1 :)

Thank you so much for all of the support. This community means the world to me and I feel very supported by everyone on this niche community. I love writing these silly little fanfics and I'm flattered that people like them. I read all of your comments and reblogs- lots of love!

#cillian murphy #cillian x reader #cillian x fem!reader #fanfiction #young cillian murphy #cillian fluff #cillian murphy x reader #jonathan breech #on the edge 2001 #fem!reader #imagine #multi chap fic #jonathan crane

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laurfilijames · 7 months

Text

Fallout

Part 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Pairing: Jay Mills x female reader

Words: 7.6k

Warnings: Rated E, 18+ ONLY. Swearing. Anger issues. Nudity. Masturbation (male). Dry(?) humping. Dom/sub dynamics. Unprotected intercourse. Anal play. Anal sex. Spit as lube. Degradation. Watersports/golden shower.

Summary: Jay continues to battle his feelings as your stay drags out, doing everything in his power to prove to you and himself that there is nothing between you, only to have his methods intensify everything.

A/N: Right. This one is full of delicious filth and I'm taking advantage of the fact that this story doesn't get many eyes to write some fairly kinky stuff, but it also includes a lot of development between the two of them so I think it's a well-balanced chapter! I really had a great time writing this part and continue to be so excited and in love with this story, so please enjoy and let me know what you think!

There is also no moodboard for this chapter because all it consists of is smut so...yeah. But there's a treat below the cut 😉

---

Adrenaline pulsed through Jay's veins furiously, similar to how it did when he was about to step into the ring, and in the short distance it took to get to his room that felt like an eternity, a play-by-play of what you two had just done in the kitchen flashed through his mind; the vivid imagery causing his hands to shake and the sweat he had worked up to drip down his back. He knew calm wouldn't come easily to him after that, and after slamming the door behind him, he leaned against it and breathed out as slow an exhale as he could and ran his good hand over his hair, half of him tempted to go do it all again while the other half urged him to try to sleep.

He was exhausted - both mentally and physically - and with the morning quickly approaching and his mind and body buzzing, he knew it would be impossible to let any of it go enough for him to fall asleep. He was an early-riser anyway, used to waking up before the sun to go for his five mile run before he trained, and even in the absence of any legitimate daylight due to the storm, his body was so regimented that it couldn't be tricked into believing otherwise.

With a sigh, Jay sat on the edge of his bed and looked out the window, seeing the snow continue to accumulate heavily, letting him know he wouldn't be getting you out of here any time soon. He swung his legs onto the mattress and laid down, staring up at the ceiling before closing his eyes, only to open them again after a minute and sit back up, his restlessness increasing with each passing second.

Getting down on the floor, Jay supported himself on his toes and right hand with his injured one secured behind his lower back and began repetition after repetition of push-ups in a desperation to move his body enough to quiet his mind. He should've known better than to think it would work, only imagining your body wedged between his and the carpet as he continued to lower himself down and back up again, and he finally stopped when his right arm gave out and forced him to sit back on his knees with a frustrated growl.

"Fuck!"

He wiped the beads of sweat that hung on his nose and chin with his hand, able to smell your scent clinging to his skin as he did which only made him feel more unhinged and anxious to have more of you.

Bringing himself quickly to his feet, he shoved his right hand down his pants to roughly adjust himself in hopes his rejuvenated erection would go away, but even the brief contact of his own hand on it brought back the memory of your touch, and he knew it wouldn't go left ignored.

With another curse under his breath, he tore his track pants down to his knees and took hold of his hard cock as he stepped out of the legs that were pooled around his ankles, gripping himself hard enough to begin to satisfy some of his needs.

Remnants of you remained on his shaft and in his pubes, the sight of it making him throb even more and forcing him to work harder, his teeth clenching together furiously as he gave in to every thought of you. He hated how much he wanted you, how much you had gotten under his skin and broke him down enough to succumb to what he had tried to prevent and knew he would go after again, and the way you seemed to enjoy his vile treatment of you wasn't helping either.

Remembering the looks that crossed your face and the way your lips curled into a smile when he called you names and held your throat had him reeling all over again, and he wondered if you were thinking about him again, too.

Accepting that he was far past the point of stopping what he had started and without wasting time in fussing over the best way to get the job done, Jay brought his palm up to his mouth and spit into it twice, providing enough lubrication to do what he needed to.

He felt desperate, needing to relieve this want that seemed to keep growing, hoping that as he emptied his load he would also be getting rid of these unnecessary feelings toward you along with it. He massaged his wet palm over his head and down his shaft, coating himself thoroughly, praying that the next person's spit all over him would be yours. The thought of kissing your parted lips that spilled moans of pleasure provided by him was getting him close, and now the imagery of them sealed in an 'o' around his cock had him bucking into his hand wildly, his thumb rubbing over his leaking head just like yours had not long ago.

His hand moved faster as his thoughts continued to encourage him, the sound of his name falling off your tongue something he knew he wanted to hear again, the feel of your body accepting his so well something he wanted to push the limits on; the possibility of fucking you slowly and lovingly a prohibited act he had instated himself that he so badly wanted to break the rules of.

He opened his hand and spit into it again, needing a little more lubrication to keep up with his movements, and tucking his bottom lip between his teeth to stifle his groans, he jerked himself with a steady force, imagining your hot mouth wrapped around his dick, bobbing up and down on his length and looking up at him innocently as you gagged on him.

Having already seen you enjoy his taste from the sample he had given you made him want to make you swallow all of it, pumping his cum down your throat regardless if you could manage it all, the vision of you taking every last drop of him as he spurted into your mouth with drool leaking from your lips and tears running down your cheeks sending him over the edge, a slew of broken curses tearing past his gritted teeth as he finished in his hand.

You would be fooling yourself if you thought sleep was likely to grace you now after all that had happened, every fibre of you super-charged and making you feel as if you had just run a marathon, the effects of Jay and his wonderfully brutal treatment of you lingering on your skin like electricity.

Needing to busy yourself to distract from all the persistent thoughts running through your mind, you rummaged through the cupboards and fridge to scrounge up what could be made into a half-decent breakfast, settling on made-from-scratch blueberry pancakes and bacon.

It was difficult to tell if you were even hungry, the feeling in your stomach one that mimicked it, but you knew was likely caused by an enduring sort of anxiousness and a very different type of hunger, and your lack of sleep made you want to sate it even more. Assuming Jay would be hungry when he reappeared from sleeping or whatever else he was doing in his room, you kept on with your task, idly flipping each pancake in the frying pan like you were on autopilot.

Without even having to look, you knew Jay had entered the kitchen, your body responding to his presence with the hair on the back of your neck standing on end and an ache increasing between your legs, and you glimpsed over your shoulder at him, a smile tugging at your lips.

He walked up behind you, making a point to cage your body in as he reached around you for a piece of bacon, his eye contact holding you in place while holding evidence of so much going through his mind. He was still half-naked, his track pants hanging loosely on his hips as he walked over to the island, showcasing his body that was sculpted like a work of art. Having to tear your eyes away from his torso, you swallowed thickly and tried to set your focus back on making breakfast, smiling to yourself that you weren't one to judge given you were still only clad in his hoodie, shimmying your bare legs together to provide enough friction between them to remind you of the slight soreness caused by him earlier.

The day crept on into the afternoon without missing a beat in the slightly awkward tension that hung in the air between you, both of you remaining quiet until you couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"This storm isn't letting up, is it?" It was less a question, and more an ice-breaker, hoping to gain some conversation if only on account of the weather, but all you got in response was a raise of his eyebrows and a slow nod, and you bit the nail on your thumb out of frustration and unease. His standoffish approach toward you had you wondering if he actually held ill-will for you or if it was a game to work you up, like the more he kept you at an arms-length, the more you wanted to throw yourself at him, and he fucking knew it.

You raked your fingers along your scalp, feeling ready to tear the strands out of your head, and being more than exhausted with the situation and simply beyond tired, you stood and paced the room before heading into the kitchen.

It didn't feel like you - opening cupboards and shutting them with more force than you ever would normally - your impatience getting the better of you, your ironic and frantic search for the box of tea bags you had seen earlier that you needed to drink to help calm you sending you into a craze.

"What the fuck are you looking for?"

His voice barely registered through the ringing in your ears, and it wasn't until he was behind you repeating himself in a louder, more demanding tone that you turned to face him.

You went to move past him, wanting to open the cupboard door behind him in the last effort of your search, only to have your wrist grabbed to stop you before you even had the chance to reach for the handle.

"Stop," he ordered, calmly, the switch in demeanor between you fuelling your anger more.

You tried to tear your wrist from him, realizing it was his bad hand that was gripping you, making you stop your resistance before you caused anymore damage to him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" he asked, his brows knitting together as he searched your face with more concern than you expected.

"You're my fucking problem," you hissed, shoving his bare chest with your hand after he released it, watching how the shape of it reddened his pale chest ever so slightly. The way he made you feel was infuriating, and when he dared to smirk at your reasoning behind your behaviour, it only fueled it.

You heard him chuckle slightly as you finally made your way around him, focused on your goal of locating the tea, your heart hammering in your chest when he muttered, "You're unbelievable."

"I am?" you spat, finding a bravery you didn't know you had. "You're the one who's unbelievable, acting like a broody asshole who refuses help because he's been burned by shitty people."

Jay closed the distance between you, his plump lips turning into a snarl, and you held your breath in your lungs as you waited for his reaction.

"You've got me all figured out, eh?" He shifted on his feet, hovering over you enough to make you cast your eyes downward, only to land on the prominent bulge in his sweatpants. "Little miss nurse coming in to fix me, to play therapist as well as the healer," he held your chin in his fingers using his injured hand, and the smell of the ointment you had applied earlier was like a slap in the face.

He leaned closer to you, his breath hot on your cheek, "Don't fucking forget why you're here, or the reason you're still here, because you would've been gone a long time ago."

Releasing your face, he rubbed his good hand over his hair back and forth roughly, trying to regain composure after he let his own anger build, and with a long inhale that made his chest rise fully, he stared at you with a look that made your knees go weak.

Holding his eye contact for a moment, you swallowed and blinked, turning away from the game-like challenge you silently agreed to play with him and returned to your mission of making tea, your hand shaking as you reached for the box and pulled it off the shelf, praying he wasn't watching you closely enough to notice.

Pouring boiling water into the teapot, your mind filed through all the different emotions Jay had made you feel in the short span of knowing him, and as you watched the clear water turn muddy as the teabags became saturated in it, you thought how he did the exact same to your mind. No one had ever had such an affect on you, making you want to act on such primal needs, your composure and usual well-thought out way of going about things destroyed with something as simple as a look. Having been given a taste of him made you crave more, and you felt crazed in chasing the high of seeing what else you could get, and in turn you wanted to give him everything.

The hours ticked on into the night, the storm having settled enough that only a few flakes were falling from the sky at a time, but so much had accumulated that you knew the roads wouldn't be cleared for days still. A silence that was loaded with lingering looks continued on as the normal atmosphere, growing your frustration as well as Jay's.

You had fixed dinner while he showered, and as you sat eating, you silently assessed the condition of his wound as he rested his hand on the table beside his plate.

"How's it feeling?" you asked quietly.

Following your gaze, he turned his hand over and sighed, "Okay, I guess."

Placing your fork down on your plate, you stood and took a step over to where he sat on his stool, sliding his plate out of the way in order to bring his left hand close to you.

You found it funny how he never watched whatever you did to his hand, his eyes only ever glued to your face or somewhere on your body, making you swell with a poised confidence, his silent attention and appreciation of your beauty somehow louder than words.

Daring to push the boundaries, you slowly moved your right leg so it straddled his, holding your breath as you watched him do the same before his broad chest finally let it go and his throat moved as he swallowed thickly.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his tone somewhat unimpressed to match his expression, his eyebrows raising on his forehead.

"Dressing your hand…" you spoke as innocently as possible, leaning over to grab the disinfectant solution and tube of ointment sitting on the opposite side of the island.

He shook his head but didn't pull his hand away from you, sighing as you began carefully cleaning his slowly healing injury.

"It's looking a bit better," you whispered, scarcely focusing on your task and not how close your bare sex was to touching his thigh.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You looked up at him through your lashes, seeing a mix of smugness and unbearable lust on his face, and you wondered if whatever he was thinking was what you were too. It felt like he was almost daring you to act on the intense hunger he brought out in you, watching you with a cockiness you knew was partially a disguise in the name of self-preservation, and even if it resulted in something loveless and brutal like earlier, you wanted to find out.

As if it was the most natural thing to do, you sat yourself onto his thigh and continued to work, doing your best to ignore the hiss and heavy exhale that escaped his lips, feeling the muscles of his leg tense and flex against you.

Closing your eyes briefly, you adjusted yourself enough to make friction, moaning quietly at the contact before forcing your fingers to move again.

After a few seconds, Jay glided his free hand up your naked thigh, reaching underneath his hoodie to hold onto your hip and press you down on him even more.

You let your fingers linger on his hand even though you had finished applying the ointment, your eyelids falling closed as you allowed him to move your body in back in forth motions, controlling the pace and pressure, relishing in the sound of his breathing and how it felt to be grinding on him like this.

"That feels good, doesn't it?" he muttered, his voice so deep it made his words almost sound like a growl.

You nodded and breathed a 'yes', continuing to rock yourself on his thigh, knowing you were smearing your slick and staining his gray pants with it but not caring.

"That's because you're nothing but a whore," he said slowly, like he enjoyed saying every word.

Basking in his degradation, you arched forward, angling yourself so your clit received more stimulation, and boldly, you trailed your hand up his arm, dancing your fingertips over his Mohawk tattoo and then onto his chest, feeling his pec tremor to your touch.

"You're looking to get fucked again, aren't you?"

A shiver ran down your spine in the hopes he would take you roughly and with heartless care again, and you pulled your lip between your teeth to stop your smile from spreading as you humped his leg with more enthusiasm.

"I asked you a fucking question," he spat, ceasing your movements with his hand while his bad one reached up to grip your chin.

You let your smile creep across your face when you opened your eyes to look at him, seeing a liveliness in his blue ones as he stared at you vehemently. They dropped down to your lips, and like he was in a brief trance of feeling something softer and more caring toward you, his thumb grazed over your bottom one, smoothing across and pulling on it enough to part it.

"What was it you said about it only happening once, Jay?" you asked, the humour clear in your voice that you knew would snap him out of whatever he was experiencing.

His face contorted, making your stomach flip with nerves, the lines around his eyes deepening while the ones around his mouth set taught as he clenched his teeth together hard.

"Shut the fuck up!" he barked. You jumped slightly even though you had been expecting that reaction, and you bit your lip again to disguise another smile rather than recoiling, shifting on his leg slightly to show him you liked everything he was doing.

In an attempt to bottle his growing rage, Jay stood abruptly, pushing you off of him carelessly, and paced the space between the kitchen island where you stood watching him and the sofa.

He was hard as a rock, his erection furiously straining against his track pants, the sight of him in such a state making your mouth water and causing even more arousal to rush between your legs.

"You're allowed to just fuck me, Jay," you began, your voice shaking slightly from the overwhelming lust and excitement coursing through you. "I'm not going anywhere any time soon and-"

He cut you off by stepping toward you, bracing his arms on either side of you to pin you against the countertop as you leaned back against it. The automatic act of breathing stopped altogether for you as he hovered in front of your face, his eyes searching all over your features for a decision as to what his next move was going to be, and for a second you could have sworn he was going to kiss you.

You knew he wouldn't though, so instead you ployed in order to get some of what you wanted, even if it couldn't be his lips on yours.

“Do what you want with me, Jay,” you whispered, your voice so heavy with lust that the sound of it instantly increased your arousal. It was bold to even continue saying his name, testing your luck and seeing how many times he would let you get away with it after his initial warning, your defiance making you feel powerful.

“Get this fucking thing off,” he ordered, grabbing at the edge of his hoodie that covered your upper half. Eagerly, you assisted him, whisking it over your head until you stood exposed before him, waiting for him to do as he pleased.

The emotion brewing in his eyes told you he wanted to kiss every single inch of you, that he wanted to taste and learn each part of you until he made you sing from every kind of pleasure he could provide, but you watched as he buried that once again and replaced it with a beautiful sort of rage you continued to seek.

Pressing his hand to your lower back, he pushed you forward in the direction of the sofa, his forceful guidance making your breathing quicken.

Your palms met the back of the couch harder than you thought, the power he had over you so definite and indisputable that you let out an involuntary gasp as you gripped the edge of the supple leather.

You glanced behind you to see Jay peeling his pants down his legs, his hard cock springing free, his jaw set tight as he stared you down while his intense breathing wracked through his chest in sharp waves.

Hinging at your hips and spreading your legs invitingly, you felt your slick string across where your slit parted, and you hoped Jay could see it glistening in the glowing light of the room.

"Fuck…" he muttered to himself, clearly noticing how ready you were for him, his subtle praising making you swell with satisfaction.

Jay lined up behind you, his groin resting flush to your ass, and you watched as he took hold of his cock and guided it inside you, his face contorting with pleasure that he kept trying to hate.

You wanted to watch him fuck you, but the sensation of having him seated deeply inside you already had your eyelids fluttering shut, and when he dragged himself back out and pushed inside you fully again, you faced forward as his first couple of blows made you hit the back of the couch.

"Oh my god!" you cried, trying your best to stick your ass out more to meet his hips each time they plowed forward, the simple task proving difficult as your body simply wanted to be still and obediently accept everything he gave you.

It was all too much, every brutal thrust tipping you closer to the edge, the head of his cock slamming perfectly into that sweet spot that made broken whines and incoherent accolades strung together with curses fall from your mouth.

Jay tried so hard to focus on carelessly fucking you, hoping that if he managed to wreck you one more time, it would maybe satisfy you enough until you could leave, but the more he drove his cock in and out of you and watched your creamy slick spill out and coat it, the more he knew he wouldn't have had enough either.

It took everything in him not to smooth his hands over the gentle curves of your hips and up the dip of your back, choosing to grip tighter on your ass and spread your cheeks apart roughly instead, his eyes closing so he wouldn't be tempted to slow his pace and prolong this selfish indulgence.

He should've known better than for that to work, your sultry voice repeating his name as he built you up to near your climax forcing his eyes open again to torture him with the sight of your beautiful body rocking in front of him, and he clenched his teeth together tightly in order to not lean down and press his lips on your back and neck.

"Jay…" you mewled, "I'm so close."

Nearly losing it there over the way you looked over your shoulder at him, he proceeded to hammer into you, feeling you tighten around his girth, your eyes clouded with lust that made you look even more beautiful and innocent as you took him so well.

Determined to ruin you, he kept up his tempo, administering back blows so hard the couch began to move despite usually being secure on the plush carpet beneath it, and he became even more mesmerized by you.

Your eyes closed, gently squeezing so the corners of them wrinkled, your mouth parted and smearing across the leather in a swaying motion due to his thrusts, your body taking his harsh movements and converting them to ones that were flowing, calm and languid, and his heart clenched in his chest as the sound of you whimpering and pleading for him to give you more echoed in his ears.

"You better...fucking come…you fucking slut!" he growled, his false impatience covering up his pure enjoyment as he became desperate to feel you fall apart around him.

His cruel words encouraged you and made you flourish, and when he saw you let your arm fall between your legs to rub your clit, Jay spit onto your ass and spread it around your puckered hole with his thumb, lubricating it enough to press it inside right as you let go.

Your whole body tensed and shuddered, pausing your own movements as you let his carry you through such a blinding high, soaking him and squeezing him and nearly making him come undone at the same time.

As soon as your loud cries had quieted, he pulled out of you and pressed the tip of his cock into your ass, only achieving a couple of inches before he exploded, and removing himself from you again, he watched his hot, milky spend leak out of you while the rest shot out onto your cheeks and wet cunt.

Jay's breaths wracked his entire body, working hard to calm himself from the fury of emotions that battled in him, feeling a cold trail of sweat run down his back while he admired your dewy skin and how good it looked being covered in his cum again.

Your head hung between your arms that still held onto the back of the couch, your forehead leaning against it, until eventually you stood upright, turning to look at him while you took a deep breath and tried to get a read on him.

He wasn't giving anything up, though, having given away too much already, and he turned and stepped away, bracing his arms against the island with his jaw set tensely again.

Not entirely sure what to do or say now, you at least knew you needed to shower, and slowly, keeping your eyes on him until you no longer could, you tread on light feet to the bathroom.

You could feel his stare as soon as you had stopped looking at him, and pausing a moment in the doorway, you glanced behind you to meet his gaze before walking inside and flicking on the light, leaving the door open in what you prayed he knew was an invitation.

You turned on the taps and adjusted them before leaving the water to heat up, checking out the mess Jay had made of you in the mirror as you waited, the evidence left behind making the after effects of it all seem blissfully more intense.

Testing the water with your hand, you stepped in under the stream, holding your breath as you let it rain down on your face for as long as you could before exhaling slowly.

It was only a couple of minutes before Jay joined you, his large frame making the already cramped shower feel even smaller, and wanting him to be near you as much as he could be, you stayed close to the stream so he would need to stand up against you to get under it.

He said nothing, just stared at you as he dipped his head beneath the falling water to soak his hair, his eyes closing and letting you admire how much longer his eyelashes seemed when they were wet as they laid against his cheeks.

It seemed so normal, showering together, both of you lathering and rinsing shampoo out of your hair in turn, enjoying the comfortable silence and how relaxing it was.

You had finished washing the soap off of you but lingered as long as you could, not wanting to end this subtly intimate moment with Jay while accidentally brushing up against him whenever you moved, your slippery skin grazing and gliding along his implicitly.

Jay could feel it building up again inside of him, the strong desire to feel himself encased by you becoming terrifyingly undeniable, and the way you kept dangling yourself in front of him like bait was testing him like few things had before. As much as he tried, he couldn't stop himself from letting his hands skim your body with any opportunity that presented itself, the warmth and softness of this whole act contrasting heavily with the silent rage growing within him.

It made him angry to see himself slipping away so easily, like his heart didn't care to let itself fall into your hands without fear, his body acting on its own to get as much of you as it could whether or not his mind agreed. He knew he was being an asshole, but in feeling it was his last defense in protecting himself from getting hurt, he pressed on with it.

You were about to step out, your body scrubbed clean of him, but he grabbed your arm to stop you, pulling you in so you stood with your back against the wall.

"Come back here," he demanded gently, his tone disguising the more intense emotions brewing beneath the surface.

The amusement he felt at seeing the confused look on your face briefly took over everything else he was feeling, and before he let any affection he held toward you stop him, he braced his arms on either side of your face and moved his close enough he could have kissed you.

He watched as your eyes flickered from his eyes down to his lips and you held the breath you had sucked in, waiting, only he wasn't going to give you what you wanted no matter how heavenly you looked.

Jay smirked and chuckled darkly, his next move one he had decided on from the moment he saw you rinsing any remaining evidence of him down the drain, and a fresh wave of needing to keep and claim you stirred in him at the thought of it.

It felt cruel and animalistic, but the desire to have you as his was too overwhelming to deny, and still on the path of repressing all the tender ways he thought about you, he carried out his barbaric display of affection.

Closing his eyes briefly, he sighed as he began to release, pissing freely on you, opening them again to see his stream coat your legs and waist in a defiling and reckless act of devotion.

Watching it was almost half as satisfying as watching the expression on your face change, your naivety in thinking he was going to be caring twisting into shock as you registered that something warmer than the water started to trickle down your body and onto your feet.

He moaned and exhaled while your mouth hung open and you glanced down to confirm what was clear you couldn't believe was happening actually was, and although you seemed disgusted and angry, pushing on his chest to move him away from you, Jay could see a glimmer in your eyes that told him you were turned on by it.

Not budging from your poor attempt at making him, Jay watched as you accepted what had happened, remaining in place and not trying to get away from him again, your chest heaving as you let out a deep breath.

Feeling high off the adrenaline this sparked in him, he smirked at you and then spit at your feet before backing away enough to admire how your body responded by your nipples hardening and your breathing quickening, your pulse noticeably thrumming in the side of your neck.

“What are you doing, marking your territory?” you asked in a challenging tone, although your voice shook slightly.

"It's what you deserve…stupid bitch that you are."

You swallowed thickly, goosebumps erupting on your wet, pissed-on skin, his foul and shaming words making your pussy clench and ache for him again.

Somehow in your shock and stupor, you found your voice, "Do you really think that about me? Or are you just-"

"Don't fucking tell me what I think!" he roared, the noise echoing off the shower walls.

You shimmied your legs slightly, your body instinctively reacting to his harshness by pushing your arousal to the forefront, and you swallowed the lump in your throat while you blinked, the eye contact he was holding making you want to falter.

You cursed all the ways your body gave you away, letting him know that everything he was doing was making you fall deeper into something he refused to give you, his next words a spiteful way to keep you holding on by a thread.

"And don't pretend like you don't love being treated like a fucking whore."

Closing your eyes slowly, you basked in his false hate, melting to the way this degradation added to the control he was claiming over you.

It was hard to recognize yourself with how submissive you found you wanted to be, the desire to obey him until he revealed the loving side you knew was there making you willing to take anything from him, but mustering clarity to briefly ignore the drug-like effect he had on you, you took a deep breath and spoke with as much surety as possible.

"And what if I do? Would you do the opposite and show me some kind of care and affection? Kiss me, even?"

He scowled. "Don't play games."

"I’m not."

You looked at him as honestly as you could, hoping your sincerity would shine through and he would believe that as much as you were admittingly throwing yourself at him, you wouldn't toy with his heart or burn him like he had been before.

His cheeks flinched as he clenched his teeth together tightly, clearly trying to figure out how he felt, but he remained in place and even returned his hands to rest on the shower tiles on either side of you, leaning slightly closer.

You could feel your chest tighten and your heart skip a beat when he rested his forehead against yours, your eyes closing when you felt his fingertips trail down your arm slowly until he reached your hand, lacing them together.

"I'll be yours, Jay," you whispered, giving him the confirmation needed to relax and trust, his breath fanning over your lips as he sighed out.

His forehead rubbed against yours as he shook his head slightly while he breathed deeply again, a low grumble resounding through him as he started to grind his hips against yours, his hand squeezing yours tightly in the grip of his fingers.

You moaned whenever the head of his cock nudged your over-sensitive clit, your body jolting in response but welcoming it all the same, adjusting your legs so he rested in your folds where you slid along his length in a languid tempo.

His nose grazed over the tip of yours and over to your cheek, the contact feeling as meaningful as a kiss would, sharing the same breath as you slowly began to work each other up.

While still holding your hand, Jay took his injured one and slid it under your thigh, lifting your leg to hook it around his waist, giving him access to probe inside you just enough to tease you.

Your available hand smoothed up his back, feeling his muscles contract with each movement, your nails digging into the thick flesh on his shoulders each time he threatened to enter you fully.

Peeling his face away from yours, he held you in place with a sobering gaze, his eye contact weighted with so much emotion, and slowly drove inside you inch by inch.

Resting his nose on your cheek, he began to thrust, his pace purposeful and sensual, each drag out and back in carefully calculated to slowly pick you apart.

As good as it felt, you still cursed him for torturing you, his mouth continuously hovering close to yours but never landing on you, making you pray to a god you didn't believe in that he finally would. You held your breath any time his lips ghosted over your skin, his nose grazing on your cheek and neck like he was hovering over all the places he wanted to impress his kiss on, close enough you swear you could feel it.

Slow, rolling motions continued to carry you through to your nearing high, building you up gradually and seemingly lovingly, his intensity equalling that of the other times he had fucked you, only this time more fervid and compassionate.

Water ran off his full lips and onto yours as his mouth hung open in front of you, his breaths growing more laboured as he expelled his energy into the arduous pace, knowing that fighting the temptation to kiss you was adding to his efforts.

Your offer to be his repeated in his mind the whole time, seeming to ground him rather than make him run from it, and he fucked you like you already were, every caress on your body and drag inside your tight walls another claim over you.

The way your fingers ran along the nape of his neck and raked up through his hair had him basking in your silent praise, feeling you clench and squeeze him with every deep push in an act of worship and appreciation of him.

He built you up slowly, bringing you to the brink and letting you linger there, coaxing you closer to the edge but only giving you enough to make you seek your release by moving with him harder.

"Jay, please…" you whined, gripping onto him in a plea for mercy, your head falling back to be supported by the wall, allowing him a view of your face as pleasure took over your features.

He intensified his thrusts, plowing into you even slower, but with more force, feeling you tense as your orgasm began to tear through you, and he angled himself so the coarse hairs on his groin rubbed against your clit to help prolong it.

He would've come with you if he wasn't so enthralled in watching you, constantly amazed by how stunning you were when being torn apart by him, the way your entire body responded to him making him quickly become addicted to it.

Releasing your hand, he brought his up to your face, his thumb gently smoothing over your bottom lip as he began to lean in toward you while continuing the slow grinding of his hips on yours, the pull he felt to kiss you becoming too much to deny any longer.

As if the universe was torturing him, the water began to feel cold, the hot water having run out in the extended amount of time you had been in there, waking him up slightly from the haze he seemed to be under.

You fluttered around him, the aftershocks of your climax rippling out in waves, prompting him to increase his pace to a far more aggressive one, the escalation of your cries spurring him on.

"You…are…fucking…mine!" he hissed through gritted teeth, the sound of your wet bodies slapping together mixing in with his panting breaths and your desperate whimpering.

He rammed into you furiously, and you held onto him frantically as you let him use you to finish, his usual unpredictable actions leaving you unsure how he was planning to, every nerve in you feeling alive and electrified from his possessive words.

His mouth fell against your shoulder, his spit smearing on your skin as he pounded you relentlessly, and feeling him surge inside of you as he began to cum, another orgasm of your own ripped through you violently.

Before you even had the chance to come down from your high, Jay was pulling out of you, the sensation of him slipping from your tingling walls with his thick, hot cum spilling from you making you whine, the unsurprising act of him abandoning you stinging more than it previously had.

Without looking at you, he ran his hand over his face and exited the shower, letting the door slam shut behind him to make you jump, leaving you standing wet and cold as you watched him grab a towel and storm out of the bathroom.

Jay couldn't hate himself more if he tried.

Leaving pools of water in his path as he stalked down the hallway to his bedroom, he urged himself to turn around and go back, the guilt he felt at leaving you like that when he knew he cared so much about you making him realize how cowardly and pathetic he was.

He slammed the door so hard it shook the walls and cursed loudly, pacing while he tried to calm his breathing, the temptation he felt to punch the wall or tear apart the room increasing with each passing second.

He didn't realize he had been clenching his fists so tightly until the sharp pain in his left one seemed to register in his brain, looking down to see a deep red beginning to spill from the gash even through the darkness of his room. Exhaling a shaky breath, Jay sat on his bed and pressed the towel still wrapped around his waist onto the cut, trying to stop his racing thoughts and ache in his heart as much as the bleeding.

Jay knew if you left that he would be able to clear his head and move on, focusing on healing and resuming his training so he could fight again, but at the same time he prayed for the sky to open up again to prevent you from leaving.

He was stupid for treating you how he had, the point he was trying to make by acting this way completely useless, comparing what he felt for you to that bullshit with Liza like comparing night and day.

Before he could manage to fuck up anything else, Jay stood and crossed the space between his bed and the door in a fury, rushing into the hallway with only one thing on his mind.

You shut off the taps, blinking furiously to rid the tears mixing with drops of water that ran down your face, the most defeated and helpless feeling coursing through you.

It was clear that Jay would never accept that you had feelings for him or learn to trust you, his hurt too powerful that it blocked out anything good that he felt he didn't deserve.

Grabbing a towel from the stack of them on a rack beside the shower, you wrapped it around yourself in search of some sort of comfort and took a deep breath, needing to get control of your emotions and this situation.

It was temporary, you reminded yourself. The storm that was the reason for you being stuck here was settling, and the wound on Jay's hand that brought you here in the first place was healing, so you would be going home as soon as the roads reopened.

The thought of returning to work was welcoming, looking forward to the distraction it would provide as you let time fade everything you were feeling, and you knew after being closed because of the storm that the clinic would be busier than ever. Maybe you would even reach out to Deb tomorrow to see if she would be willing to come pick you up from here, not wanting to ask Jay for more than he's already given you and wanting to spare you both from the awkward and most likely silent ride back to where your car was left stranded.

You walked out of the bathroom and tread quietly down the hallway, pausing when you passed Jay's room. You had heard the door slam, so it didn't come as a surprise to see it still closed, but part of you had hoped it was open again, acting as a symbol of amendment or olive branch. Hesitating for only a moment while you debated knocking, you thought better of it and forced yourself away, going to the room you were staying in and shutting the door behind you. A sad smile crept on your lips as the significance of closing the door was like closing the door on whatever this was, and you prayed for strength to carry you through the rest of your time here.

Even with convincing yourself of the finality of it, you couldn't seem to drown the persistent swell of your heart whenever you thought of him, and as much as you told yourself that you were okay with this being nothing more than sex, you knew there was so much more to it.

"Fuck…" you muttered, not thinking twice before turning the doorknob and pulling open the door, your heart leaping into your throat the moment you looked out down the hallway.

---

Taglist:

@sotwk @dailydragon08 @sunnys-day @thedreadandthefugitivemind @glassgulls @littlenosoul @glitterypirateduck @momia2910 @maggotzombie @rmwarn90 @paintlavillered @stealfromthedevil @kmc1989 @ourlonelymountain @itspdameronthings @theesirenteller

I went ahead and tagged everyone I have written down for my Charlie/Will Miller taglist so my apologies if you're not interested in being tagged in this and I will happily add or remove anyone as they wish!

#jay mills #deadfall #jay mills smut #jay mills x female reader #deadfall 2012 #charlie hunnam #charlie hunnam characters #jay mills x reader #deadfall (2012)

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ember1205 · 1 year

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Donnie x Reader Oneshot

Warnings: vague mental health issues if you squint hard enough, I've kept reader gender neutral, fluff, ooc Donnie ig.

Summary: You can't seem to shake the bad feelings that have been going through your head one night and just need to be with someone.

A/N: This isn't proofread and probably never will be. I mostly wrote this for myself because I've been going through some bad feels. I still wanted to make something for other people to read and maybe feel better as well.

To the story!

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It was one of those nights. The feeling of dread and fear crawling through your chest like some slimey snake. It brought a chill to your bones.

Maybe forgoing your pants when you got into bed earlier wasn't the best decision. You clutch your pillow even closer to your front.

No matter what you did or whichever way you turned, you couldn't get comfortable enough. Couldn't shake the feelings from your brain. Couldn't sleep.

You reach for your phone for what feels like the hundreth time only to be disappointed with the screen shining 1:14am into your eyes.

The feelings in your chest only seem to be getting worse as the seconds go by. Memories you'd rather forget seem to all want to resurface to make the worse.

You could handle it anymore. You just needed someone, as much as you hated to admit it, even to yourself.

Gravity was fighting against you as you went to push yourself up from the too stiff mattress. Swinging your bare legs over the side of the bed, you sit there willing yourself to stand, the pillow still tight in your hold.

After a few minutes, you're able to slip off your bed, putting your weight on your feet to stand. Bare feet on the cold floor made a shiver go through you. That wasn't the last, though, as the shivers continued to shake your shoulders.

Finding your way through the lair was like second nature to you at this point, even if it is the dead of night. So you took to time at all to make it to Donnie's room.

You lightly knock out of habit before almost silently opening the door when you heard the stirring of a softshell on the other side.

A light glow of neon purple helping you to see your surroundings, you close the door shutting out the outside light.

Bringing your gaze up from the floor, you meet tired turtles sleepy gaze. Donnie had himself propped up with his hands behind him. The blanket seemed to have slipped down him when he sat up as some of it pooled around his waist and only covered one of his legs that were sprawled out in front of him. The other was hanging off the edge of the bed completely bare since he chose to only sleep in his usual black shorts.

"You need something?"

Donnie asked in a soft voice to coax you to speak.

You didn't realize how long you were standing there thinking of what to say until Donnie broke the silence.

"Need you." You spoke quietly. So quietly that he might not have heard you if it wasn't dead silent.

You realized how you might have looked. Like a child going to their parents' room saying they had a nightmare. The pillow clutched in your arms seemed to push that thought even more.

The sound of your voice must have told Donnie something because he was now fully awake and alert to whatever was happening.

"Okay, do you want to talk about it?"

You shook your head.

"Wanna lay with me?"

A pause before you give a short nod.

No more words were exchanged as Donnie scooted over to give you room to climb in which you gladly did.

Your pillow was still to your chest as you layed pressed to his. He didn't seem to mind as he laced the blanket over you both and wrapped his arms around you, one arm behind your shoulders and the other draped over your side. He placed his chin on your head and released a sigh that moved your hair slightly.

You're not sure what it was, whether it be the warmth of the blanket, the tightness of Donnie's hold on you, or just being with him, but everything seemed to spill out.

Your body tensed more, if that were even possible, and you pushed your face deeper into Donnie's colarbone. Your teeth clenched, and lips pulled together tight. Tears quickly started to gather in your eyes before falling down your face onto Donnie's skin.

You pressed into him more and he began rubbing his hand up and down your back and nuzzled into the top of your head. Your breathing became uneven and your shoulders continued to shake, bit it wasn't from the cold anymore.

No words were exchanged and you went on like this for some time before everything that you held in your chest was let out. You followed Donnie's breathing to help calm yourself down (something Mikey had taught you) and soon all your anxieties and cold feelings melted away leaving your body limp against Donnie's hold.

Feeling you had calmed down, Donnie places a soft kiss on your head. After a second, he pulls away just enough to free your face from his neck. This gave him enough space to continue his kisses on your face.

One to your forehead.

Then to the corners of your eyes. Ridding them of any stray tears.

One to the bridge of your nose.

One to your cheek.

And lastly, he ghosts one onto your lips before pulling away and placing his forehead against yours.

"I'm here with you."

It's whispered, and your nearly numb mind doesn't catch it, but it registers after another minute of silence.

Slowly, you move your hand from its spot on your pillow to lightly touch whatever part of Donnie you could reach first. To let him know that you're also there. No longer lost inside yourself, but laying with him in the moment.

He gently moves his head away to place it back atop yours and moves the hand around your shoulders to the base of your head to pull you closer to him.

He gives you one last squeeze, and let's out another sigh. You both relax into one another, sinking into the mattress.

With your mind and heart cleared and the comfort of the softshell around you, sleep begins to take hold, and your consciousness begins to fade, and eventually, you fall into a peaceful sleep.

#rise donnie #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise donatello #donatello hamato #teenage mutant ninja turtles donnie #donnie tmnt #donnie x you #donnie x reader #donnie x y/n #tmnt 2018 #save rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #comfort #light angst #fiction #cute and cuddly #cuddles #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

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bor0wik · 7 months

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Some THSC headcanons i have because why not

TW: mentions of body disphoria (for Henry's part) mental illnesses and disabilities, panic attacks (for Dave's part)

Henry:

Henry has many... Way too many scars over his whole body, from all these 'adventures' in other timelines (despite all of them not being canon in my AU except for Triple Threat, the scars somehow stayed on his body). He's kinda ashamed of them, so he always wear clothes that will cover his whole body.

Henry is a kleptomaniac (very original headcanon, isn't it?)

He actually has been once trapped in the CCC, but he escaped after a bit short time (yup, he met my other CCC OCs that are trapped there). CCC is still searching for him.

I think that's actually canon, but Henry really likes to sing.

Henry can't swim, and he's scared of water (i mean... Like, a pool or a sea or something).

He doesn't mind wearing dresses and skirts :)

Charles:

Charles has Alexithymia (A mental disability. It causes an inability to understand or identify emotions, as well as expressing them), so he usually just pretend. Due to his disability, he has a bit hard time making friends, though he really wants to.

Every one of Charles's helicopters became crashed by him. Everyone is wondering if he do this to seem cool, or if he's a bad pilot. Charles never answered that question...

Charles has a collection of... Rocks. Yeah, rocks. And no, no some pretty rare rocks or something, just regular rocks. This is a collection from when he was a child, but he still have it.

Calvin has a crush on him because that's a funny idea.

Ellie:

Ellie likes picking up flowers and making flower crowns out of them. She especially likes making them for Henry and Charles.

I like the headcanon of Ellie and Jacob (i think you know which one) being a family, but... In my ✨style✨. Ellie was adopted by the Rose family, which make her and Jacob siblings, but not biological ones.

Ellie has anger issues, though she knows how to and can control it, but let's it all out when she's alone.

She talks a lot. Like, a LOT.

She's that one friend who can't hear when someone is whispering to her, as well as the one who can't whisper...

Ellie has a weird obsession with collecting plushies.

Rupert:

Rupert is basically like a cat. He doesn't like it when you give him attention all by yourself, meanwhile he wants it when you don't have time.

He doesn't have anger issues idk how did you guys came with that, it's not even canon-

When you meet him, he tries to act a bit serious, but not too much to not seem boring, meanwhile when you are his friend or even best friend, you know he's a total dumbass and he is capable of anything- (Charles know this feeling-)

Maybe a bit of ADHD...

He's actually pretty tall in my headcanon (he is somewhere around 190 cm - 200 cm tall)

Dave:

Dave's voice is actually a bit quiet.

Anxiety boi.

Dave is scared of thunders and thunderstorms to the point when one occurs, he just curls into a ball in the corner of the room and cries until it will end.

He's really good at maths.

After the Triple Threat ending, Dave somehow got away before The Wall guards came. He's still missing. No, he's still alive, don't worry, but he's missing.

When Dave meets someone, and he become a bit too attached to that person, he may be a bit too clingy to that person.

When he's angry, he talks in 3rd. POV. (I think you know what i mean)

Sven:

If someone will punch him for example in the nose, instead of trying to fight back, or just insult that person, he begin to cry.

He joined the Toppat clan at the age of 16.

Autism boi.

His hair is FLUFFY.

When he met Burt at first, they didn't liked eaxh other, you can even say they were rivals. Somehow they became closest friends.

He's very overprotective over Burt, same goes for Burt being even more overprotective over Sven.

Burt:

Sven had an anime phase.

The story of how he joined he Toppat clan is... Interesting to say at least... Burt was still young, when Reggie (who was born in the clan btw) and Right (who was found by Reggie on the streets) found him. Reg took both him and Right to the clan. He was welcomed there a bit more warmer than Right, was it because he was younger? Or maybe because he was a girl then? (I hc Burt to be trans man so yeah...)

Burt is colorbling.

Sven has a shark plushie, meanwhile Burt has an orca plushie :3

Burt is literally obsessed with cats, though he can't have one. He's allergic :(

He's a big fan of the "Warrior cats" book series. He can name you every one character.

Reginald:

Reggie is obsessed with shiny things, especially golden ones.

Has shit ton of various necklaces, brancelets, rings, earrings and other things like that.

Reg loves watching horror movies, but it always ends up with him sleeping with a gun.

Treats almost every Toppat clan member like his own child.

He's that one therapist friend to which you can always come and talk about various things, rant, vent, anything.

Right Hand Man:

His real name is Raymond Raine, though he doesn't like it. It reminds him of... Bad times...

He fell in love with Reginald first, meanwhile Reggie was oblivous for many signs that Right was showing him, which were signalizing that he fell in love with him.

Anger issues :/

Loves how sometimes Reg is oblivous for some signs of love or affection that he is showing him.

Reginald was his gay awakening-

Right is addicted to coffee.

That's all i think...

#the henry stickmin collection #henry stickmin #charles calvin #rupert price #ellie rose #burt curtis #sven svensson #dave panpa #rhm #reginald copperbottom

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petals2fish · 5 months

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Hello! I was thinking about you recently and realized your petalstofish account was gone, and I started to worry about you. Because that’s what I do. Maybe you said something about leaving your previous accounts and I missed it, that would be likely on my part. So I was thrilled when Dumbest Witch Alive showed up in my inbox and I found you here again! I hope you’re well!

Hi friend!! thank you so much for reaching out and for reading DWA!!!!I told @gryffindormischief last night that I genuinely threw up words onto paper and that’s the mess that came out lmao

Alsoooooo…I am so sorry for dropping off the face of the earth. I had mentioned only a couple of times that I was dealing with some health issues, but I never went into full detail, so I’m sure it looked odd when I just disappeared. 2023 was really hard year, and I stepped away from all social media except for my instagram for quite some time…but I’m really really excited to be back here and feeling more like Petals again. I missed everyone, and even in the year or so away, I knew eventually I would come back. I just didn’t want anyone to worry if I told them what was going on, so I figured a cold cut was easiest ♥️

Short story:

I was very ill, but I’m feeling SO much better!

Long Story:

Essentially, I had just moved back to Florida after being gone for four years in Arizona. When my old doctor in Florida saw me, they decided that the plaquinil treatments that I have been taking for my chronic illness for the last few years in Arizona had not been working. They decided to put me on this drug called methotrexate. It was chemotherapy in pill form, low dose, and it’s commonly used for people who have rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. My genetics love me so I have both RA and Lupus. So they thought it was a perfect match for me. It’s rare for people to have a super bad reaction to it, usually just fatigue and hair loss, but of course I managed to have like the worst reaction of all.

Due to multiple side effects, I ended up bed bound within a few days of starting my daily doses. During this time I could barely sit up and eat a meal. My mental health was plummeting anytime I allowed myself to have my phone in bed. I knew I had to do something else, before I totally crashed off the deep end. I would go on and see all my friends at Taylor’s era tour, and I’d had to sell my tickets. I was missing birthdays, movies, long planned trips with friends. I was SO lost in a way I can’t even begin to describe.

Even though my wonderful parents moved me in with them and got me a second opinion, by the time the new doctor got me off of the methotrexate and onto a new drug, it took another few months for my body to complete expel it from my system. So I was down for the count from March to October.

Thankfully, I’m feeling SOOO much better now and have a wonderful doctor who listens to me and never tells me my feelings aren’t valid. Once I had a better grasp mentally and physically, and I felt okay enough to start writing and reading and reviewing again, I decided to return to social media. Im actually super excited because I start physical therapy this week, which is a huge step, and I no longer need to use FMLA every week at work. Yay!

ALSOOOO not wholly related but some bot stole PetalsToFish SO HERE I AM WITH A NEW NAME. THANKS BOTS🤪

Xoxo

If u read all the way thru this I owe you an ice cream sundae

#petals talks #a long explanation #some know #some don’t #figured I’d explain for anyone who cares

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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modern-day-bard · 4 months

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Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+

This story includes explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship (MC is 26, Pedro is in his 40s). Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 5:

"Anna, you should have seen the size of my cheeks!" Emma gushes, much to the makeup artist's dismay. "I mean seriously, I was so swollen and I couldn't even swallow. Who knew they put mustard in wasabi?" Sophie, the makeup artist, and I exchange a knowing look.

"Well I'm glad you're alright Emma. It's good to have you back. Now do you have any questions on the directions I got from Naomi? She should be on the set with you both today but Lloyd wants to roll directly into shooting."

"Oh I got it. Look for the tape on the floor, hands on chest, hit the desk, yada yada yada. This one is easy. Fade-to-blacks are way less intense," Emma waves her hand dismissively.

Yeah, way less intense. When Emma is all set in hair and makeup, I escort her to the soundstage before making myself as scarce as possible. I've been in the room during an intimate scene once before, and I don't remember most of it. I was too busy making a mental to-do list. But something about seeing Emma in the same position I had been in yesterday makes me feel uneasy. I radio Dwayne to see where else I can make myself useful.

"You're all good, Ava. They're going to break after for lunch so you may as well hang tight there so you can run errands for Lloyd if he needs anything." I clench my jaw hearing his response.

"Copy. Thanks, Dwayne." I try not to sound as irritated as I feel. I simply don't want to watch this.

"Hey babes," Lana appears next to me, giving my arm a gentle squeeze.

Obviously I called her last night to debrief. She was busy laying sound mats on the ground in another part of the studio during yesterday's escapades, otherwise I wouldn't have heard the end of it. As if my own thoughts last night weren't enough to keep me awake. I actually still hadn't Googled him, but I could tell he was older than me. Definitely more experienced than I was. And, I mean, he's a movie star. Granted I might not have recognized him, but still. I was starting to feel like I was back in school, crushing on the popular boy who didn't know I existed. I didn't like that feeling then, and I detested it now.

I told Lana all the details, knowing that she would have tortured them out of me one way or another. But as giddy as she had been last night hearing everything, I could tell she knew I didn't want to be here right now.

"Hey," I give her a small smile. "Everyone mic'd up and ready to go?" I feel like talking about work-related issues will make this weird feeling go away.

"They're ready," She leans in a little closer, "But are you?"

"I'm fine. These things are always awkward, you know?"

Lana gives me a look that lets me know she isn't buying my nonchalant act.

"Quiet on set!" Lloyd yells at the top of his lungs. Not exactly necessary, but definitely a very Lloyd thing to do. "Places!" Javi positions himself in the doorframe, just like yesterday. Only now his hands are on Emma's back. Her bare back, as I now realize just how short her backless dress is.

"Aaaand, roll camera. Action!"

I feel my body tense up. I think any sane person would look away, but this feels like a car wreck created purposefully to toy with my early on-set jealousy, and I can't look anywhere but that fake hotel room.

But then, my jealousy is put on the back-burner when I see Javi truly devour Emma. I'm shocked she can even stay standing. His hands are everywhere, not just on her back like they were with me yesterday. He's kissing her everywhere, too. Her neck, eyelids, forehead, and the way he attacks her lips... I feel as though I can't breathe. When he backs her up against the wall, Emma remembers to arch her back like I instructed, but now Javi slips his thigh in between her legs. Something he didn't do yesterday, I can feel a heat beginning to pool in my belly, trickling its way toward my–

"Hot damn, he's good." Lana whispers next to me. I blink rapidly, as if trying to wake up to the present moment. All I can do is nod.

"More noise, both of you!" Lloyd barks. As soon as he does, Javi lets out a groan that makes my knees weak.

The pair make their way to the desk, wreaking the same amount of havoc on my emotions and libido before moving their way to the bed.

"Tell me you missed me." Javi demands of Emma, beginning to crawl over her. His expression is just as serious as yesterday, and his vocal register is dangerously low.

Holy. God. I didn't read the pages for today's scene, and I'm not even sure if that was improv or not.

"I missed you," Emma whines as Javi hovers over her. He kisses her lips lightly before dragging one of his large hands down her torso.

"The problem, my darling, is I don't quite believe you," Javi kisses her neck before speaking directly in her ear, "You're going to have to tell me again. Louder this time."

Javi slips his hand in between her legs and Emma arches her back off the bed, sighing.

"Cut!" Lloyd yells, causing me to take several much-needed deep breaths.

"Good job you two. Reset, we're going to do another take. This time, more noise from the beginning."

I cannot watch that again. The mixture of jealousy and heat in my stomach is too much to bear.

"Lana, I need to go on a walk." I whisper.

"You can't. The red light is on, you're not supposed to–"

"I know," I say, already heading toward the door. I go out the side entrance, ignoring the dirty looks of at least five crew members. I know that it might be dramatic, but I hate how envious I am of Emma's position. It's ridiculous. How long have I known this man? A couple of weeks? We made a few jokes, stood close together for a few minutes and now I'm jealous of his co-star? I really do need to walk this off.

- - -

I'm on my fourth loop around the wardrobe trailer when Dwayne, the Key-PA, radios my walkie.

"Ava, we need you back to soundstage one."

"Copy. What for?" I really hope they are almost done by now.

"Gutierrez asked for an escort again. We're about to break for lunch."

Dammit. "Copy. On my way back."

I enter the building, and to my pleasant surprise, they're not in the middle of taping. Javi, Naomi, and Emma are chatting in the middle of the set.

"Alright folks, that's lunch." Lloyd announces.

I take that as my cue to jog up to the stage.

"Oh, Anna! Thanks for the tips. It made taping a breeze." Emma says, tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulder.

I smile at her. "I'm glad I could help Emm–"

"Her name is Ava. Not Anna." Javi said, glancing Emma's way.

"Oh," Emma looks surprised, "I didn't realize, sorry Anna. A-Ava."

"Ready for lunch?" Javi asks me, stepping away from Naomi and Emma. We're walking off the stage before I can reply.

"How are you?" Javi asks, holding the door for me to step out into the bright light. The mundane question catches me off guard.

"I'm alright, thanks. How are you?"

"I saw you disappear for a bit. I wasn't sure if you were feeling well. You looked sort of..." he trails off.

When did he even have a chance to see me leave?

"Oh, no I just had some other stuff to do around set. I can get a lot done when you all are taping."

"Ahh." Javi nods, but his expression doesn't seem fully convinced. "Didn't care to watch the end of the scene, huh?" He definitely wasn't convinced. I'm not the one with the acting chops.

"No, I just already know how it ends," I point out, "Though I didn't know the lines. That took me by surprise."

I probably shouldn't have said that. I'm not sure if it in any way implied how I had been feeling.

"What did you think?" We're almost at his trailer now, but his tone seemed genuinely interested in my feedback.

"It was...convincing." That seemed like the right choice of words. I think.

"Mmm." He muses. "It didn't feel as convincing as I wanted it to."

"How so?" I can't help but ask.

"It's difficult to explain. Sometimes it's simply the chemistry. It doesn't pan out the way you want it to."

"The chemistry seemed pretty palpable to me." Ouch, my tone was a lot harsher than I intended.

We've arrived at his trailer, and instead of walking up the steps, he just turns and looks at me for a long moment. I try not to fidget. He looks as though he's deliberating something.

"Sometimes the chemistry is stronger with someone else," he glances down at my lips, "it makes it difficult to feel successful during the takes with the new partner."

I gulp. Is he implying what I think he is implying? Or am I so warped from these newfound feelings that I'm orchestrating this in my head? Best to err on the side of caution.

"Can you let me know if your food has arrived? If not, I can grab something from crafty for you."

Javi takes a step back, looking at me with a new curiosity. He looks like he's going to say something, but he just walks up the steps to his trailer and peaks inside.

"Yes, it's here," he pauses before continuing, "I actually ordered two this time. I was hoping to keep my fries to myself." He smirks.

"Oh. You wanted me to eat with you again?"

He shrugs. "I told you. I like the company. If you have other things to do though, don't let me keep you."

We haven't eaten together since I escorted him back to his trailer almost two weeks ago. I haven't even been asked to escort him since then. I have too many thoughts running around in my head, and being in his presence is only complicating things.

"That's kind of you, but I do have work to do. I'm sorry." The fact that I did actually have work I could be doing made this lie a lot easier to sell.

His face falls, and I regret my decision immediately.

"Give us a call if you need an escort back to the soundstage, though. I'd be happy to walk you." I smile, hoping to soften the blow.

To my surprise, Javi takes the three steps back down from the trailer until he is standing in front of me again. Looming in front of me is more like it.

"Have dinner with me then," he says quietly, "Please."

"What?" My bewilderment must be as present on my face as it is in my words.

Javi smiles. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, Ava. If you say no, everything will continue as usual. But I would like to take you to dinner, if you're interested."

I blink a few times, trying to find my bearings. It becomes obvious, very quickly, that I do want to have dinner with him. At the same time, I don't actually know if that's something that would be frowned upon. But despite all of the thoughts circulating around my head, and despite the nervous knot in my stomach, I simply look up at him and say,

"Yes. I'm interested."

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Series Masterlist

#pedro #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal x original characters #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x you #the mandalorian #tlou #narcos #javi gutierrez fanfiction #javi gutierrez smut #javi gutierrez x you #javi gutierrez x reader

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