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justfangirlthingies · 3 years

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Love Story (Dad! Draco Malfoy)

This is a songfic based on "Love Story" by Taylor Swift

Dad! Draco is something I absolutely adore, I just couldn't help myself

Word count: 2568 words

Warnings: a bit of angst maybe, but the rest is fluff

The reader is a pureblood, but that's only mentioned once, so I guess if you want to change that up in your head feel free to do so, it's not like I can control your thoughts or anything

Soft draco content!

Also, this is my first time writing anything for Draco, sorry if he's a little OOC, but I guess you'll just have to deal with that. I just found this idea cute. That's it. Carry on with your reading :)

By the way, the war and all that jazz did happen I just, I dunno left it out because that would've been too much

"Darling!? Are you alright?" Your husband barged into the hospital room. His platinum hair disheveled and tie loosened. He was panting heavily, presumably from running all the way here from his workplace. "I came as fast as I could, but the minister wouldn't let me leave early, since I'd be at home for the next weeks anyways." A soft smile graced your lips as you spoke up "Draco it's fine don't worry. I'm - I mean we are fine"

His eyes flooded with guilt as a look of sorrow took over his face "I-I missed it? I'm so sorry I wasn't there..." Draco stammered quietly as he slowly started to approach you. You gave a small nod as you reached your arms out for him. The blonde didn't hesitate to engulf your smaller form into his arms as soon as he had reached the hospital bed you were sprawled out on. "It's not your fault love" You whispered soothingly while you allowed your fingers to run through his already messy hair. Soft lips brushed your temple as you basked in Draco's warmth. The male moved away from you a bit to catch a glimpse of your face. "Is it a girl or a-" but before he could finish, the door opened once again and in came a doctor with a small bundle wrapped in a lime green blanket in his arms. "Ah you must be Mr. Malfoy then."

Draco just stared at the blankets and gave a small nod, trying to make out the baby underneath. He watched as the doc handed you the small human. A smile etched onto your lips as you took the baby from the man. Your husband finally caught sight of your child. Well of the blond fuzz on the baby's head to be exact. You noticed his stare and giggled "You want to hold him Draco?" You questioned and without even giving him time to think, handed him your newborn. "He?" he smiled tenderly when he finally saw the baby-boy's full face. His icy blue eyes found a pair of identically coloured irises staring back up at him.

"Have you decided on a name yet?" The doctor asked after a few minutes. This resulted in Draco looking up from his son and throwing a questioning gaze at you. "Go ahead." You reassured him.

It's not like he had to make up a name on the spot. After all the two of you talked a lot about baby names and had decided to stay with the Black family tradition for the naming, seeing as upholding this tradition was of utter importance to him. It was a relieve to see you hadn't changed your mind about the name you had decided on beforehand.

"Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy" spoke the love of your life. Huge grins on both of your faces as Draco pulled you closer towards him and Scorpius so he could hold the whole extent of his new family in his arms.

With that the doctor left the three of you to have some privacy and to get to know your son.

A content sigh left your lips and you decided to speak up "Look how far we've come Dray. We survived my father and a war, moved in together, got married and now we're starting a new chapter. A family"

"Ah yes of course." he replied before a smirk appeared on his face "Though I have to say, your father was the greatest challenge we've had to overcome." A chuckle escaped his lips as he started reminiscing about the past "Do you remember how we met?"

You hummed in response "We were both young when I first saw you"

I close my eyes and the flashback starts

Your eyelids fluttered close as you swayed in the memory of the first time you laid your eyes on him.

▪︎

I'm standin' there on a balcony in summer air. See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns

It was a peaceful evening. A little boring for a nine-year-old maybe, but still nice. Your family had hosted a ball and invited all the other well known and mostly wealthy pureblood families. Nothing unusual.

One thing however, was a little extraordinary. Notoriously you were the only child at such gatherings, but on this fateful night you had seen another child. A pale boy around your age, you guessed. His gelled back hair was a white-blond colour, it framed his face along with his sharp, pointed features. That's when your (e/c) orbs met his piercing grey ones.

See you make your way through the crowd

And say, "Hello"

This encounter made your evening much more eventful and enjoyable and it also gained you a friend for life.

Little did I know that you were Romeo

Had you known who he was back then, maybe you would've kept your distance. But the thing is, you didn't know.

▪︎

From then on your friendship only continued to blossom as years passed by

Sometimes Draco would sneak out of his house just to wake you up and spend time with you in the middle of the night. Many times you woke to a tapping sound coming from your window

you were throwin' pebbles

In the beginning you were surprised to see him, standing outside underneath your window when you opened it. Occasionally you'd sneak out and go for walks.

His nightly visits became more frequent, often leading to you sneaking him into your home, up the stairs and into your room.

On some instances you spent hours on end just talking. Other times, you spent those same hours engulfed in one another's embrace, lips meeting each other halfway, limbs entangled and bodies pressed together.

Unfortunately your father had seen the light from underneath your door and heard voices talk when he woke that night. He barged into your room and as he saw the Malfoy boy sitting criss cross on your carpeted floor, the two of you deeply engulfed in conversation, he yanked the blonde up and dragged him out of your room and down the stairs

And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet (Y/n)"

You had followed after them as tears cascaded down your cheeks. And I was cryin' on the staircase Beggin' you, "Please don't go, " and I said, "Romeo Draco, take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"" His heart broke then and there as he watched your devastated form call out to him in vain. Before Draco had a chance to answer your request he was shoved out the front door by your father.

"(Y/n) (M/n) (L/n)! Just what do you think you're doing sneaking around with the Malfoy boy?!" Your father hollered, his voice laced with anger. The man you called your father could be very intimidating at times, especially when he was fuming and glared at someone, just like he was doing with you now. The adult's words dripping from his voice like venom "You won't see him again." "Bu-" You were about to cut him off and protest, but he just continued and talked over your failed attempt to interrupt him "I don't want you talking to the son of a death eater! He's probably already one himself."

Your face contorted into a scowl as you seethed at him through your teeth, tears still dropping from your shimmering (e/c) irises "You can't tell me what to do!" It slipped past your lips and your face nearly went to a look of surprise at your own words. Your eyes widened slightly, but now that you had already made the mistake of talking back to him with that attitude, what did you have to lose? You tried to keep your demeanor the way it was when you talked back to the man you called your father.

"What was that young lady?!" He scolded "That's no way to talk to your father (Y/n)!" You snarled at him before you got up from your place on the staircase and turned to retrieve to your room, making sure to slam the door on your way. Waking your mother and siblings in the process. You only knew that because you heard voices and different footsteps.

As soon as the door was properly shut you threw yourself onto the bed and hugged one of your pillows close to you as you sobbed and screamed in frustration, pain, anger, sadness, agony or however you would like to describe it. The fact that the pillow you were currently clutching to your body as you shook with tears, still smelled of the boy who had captured your heart and was with you not even 10 minutes ago just had you break down even more. That is how you went to sleep that dreadful night. Crying yourself to sleep while you held onto the pillow for dear life.

▪︎

It took you some time, but you found a way to meet up again. In secret.

Just you and him.

Merlin knows what would happen if someone found out that the two of you were sneaking around again.

So I sneak out to the garden to see you

We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew

▪︎

So close your eyes

"We should run away together Draco. Just imagine all the things we could do then." you suggested quietly, your head resting on his chest.

Escape this town for a little while, oh oh

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter

▪︎

Of course it was only a matter of time until your father found out about your little ordeal again.

And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet(Y/n)"

And once again you found yourself in an oddly familiar occurrence as you were crying after the man you loved. It pained both of you to see each other hurt. "But you were everything to me" Draco called out to you and he made sure your father had heard him too, for the young Mr. Malfoy was indeed completely and utterly in love with you and he wasn't afraid to show it. As soon as your pleas reached his ears again he felt his heart sink in his chest. I was beggin' you, "Please don't go, " and I said, "Romeo Draco, take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess. It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes""

▪︎

Maybe your father was right, maybe you did deserve someone better, Draco thought. At least that's what the silver-eyed boy told himself. It was his only way of staying sane and grounded. His way to cope was to hope you'll meet someone better than him, someone more deserving of your love, even though that thought hurt him, it was a comfort to think that, maybe you'd move on, but his heart still held onto the last bits of hope he had left in him. And that's when it happened. An owl landed on his windowsill. Not just any owl. Your owl and the letter it carried had your family's seal on it.

He felt his heartbeat increase rapidly, his hands clammy as he opened the window. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to smile, to cry, scream or throw up then and there because that letter could contain anything. A wedding invite maybe? He hoped not. After contemplating for a bit he decided on opening your letter. As he did so, he became more nervous with each passing second, still clinging tightly onto the last bit of hope he had left.

The letter read: "Romeo Draco, save me, they're tryna tell me how to feel. This love is difficult, but it's real. Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess. It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes""

Oh but this time he would say "Yes"

Oh, oh

For this time, he had a plan and he was determined to execute his plan

▪︎

I got tired of waiting. Wonderin' if you were ever comin' around. My faith in you was fading

You were on the breach of losing all your hope, but you decided you'd try one last time. So you went to the place you'd told him you'd wait for him. If he didn't show up today then that's it, you would give up. However, what you didn't expect was to actually meet him face to face. When I met you on the outskirts of town,

When your eyes met his again for the first time in so long you didn't know how to react. Was it appropriate to hug him? You weren't sure so you just stood there frozen on the spot when you asked him once again. Desperately clutching to your last bit of hope that you didn't even know you had left.

and I said

"Romeo Draco, save me, I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you, but you never come. Is this in my head? I don't know what to think"

Tears streamed down your face as you poured your heart out to him and when you felt his warmth surround you, you didn't hesitate to lap onto him with all your might. After a few minutes he tore himself away from you and when his grey eyes met pools of (e/c), he saw the terror in your eyes. Did you think he didn't want to be with you? "I'm sorry this took so long love" he spoke, leaving you with a confused expression on your face "but your father is a tough man" he chuckled. This only earned him another puzzled look from you as you arched an eyebrow in utter bewilderment. You were not sure what he was about to do and you certainly didn't expect him to do the thing he was about to do.

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said, "Marry me, Juliet (Y/n). You'll never have to be alone. I love you and that's all I really know. I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress. It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes""

There you stood before him. Eyes wide. Eyes that you couldn't believe. All you could do was just stand and stare.

"Umm...(Y/n)?" Draco looked up at you, his eyes holding only love and adoration and maybe a hint of fear because you were not answering. He gently reached upwards and caressed one of your soft hands. The touch bringing you back to reality and out of your trance. "An answer would be nice" he chuckled nervously. You quickly pulled him up by his hand and kissed him "Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!" you grinned and beamed up at him. You leaned in again and brushed your lips lightly against his as you spoke against the soft skin "Yes Draco. Yes"

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh

▪︎

All of a sudden you were ripped from your little bubble by soft cries.

Just like that, in the spur of a moment, you were back to reality. Slowly your eyelids fluttered open, only to see your husband cradling your son in his arms to cease his crying "Shh, shhh, shh. It's alright Scorpius, your daddy is here" he cooed softly "we need to be quiet buddy because mommy is sleeping and mommy deserves her sleep after such an exhausting day." Draco smiled triumphantly when little Scorpius stopped crying "And you need all your sleep as well, your day was just as exhausting" he whispered softly.

'Cause we were both young when I first saw you

#songfic #harry potter fanfiction #hp #draco #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x y/n #pureblood reader #Love Story #taylor swift #dad draco #dad!draco #dad! draco #hp imagines #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x reader

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moon-light-jukebox · 4 years

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“All you have to do is ask.” Chapter 2 - [Reid x Reader]

previous chapter // main page // next chapter

Summary: After the conversation in Nebraska, there’s some tension between our favorite genius and Reader. A peace offering, a rainstorm, and some unexpected questions should clear that right up.

Pairing: Spencer Reid / (Female) Reader

Rating: Mature (not all chapters contain smut, those that do will be marked)

Category: Smut, fluff, and a bit of angst.

Word Count: 2.3k for Chapter 2

Content Warning: Some slight angst for Chapter 2

A/n: I hope y’all are liking this so far! No smut in this chapter, but I more than make up for it in chapter 3. Promise.

IMPORTANT ADDITIONAL NOTE: It was brought to my attention that the angst in this chapter appears to be something it is not. I mean, I know how the story ends, so I didn’t see it that way. But it’s a valid concern. I address it in chapter 6, but I’ve made edits to chapter 3 to address it a bit too. Reader is afraid to trust anyone, that is all. I promise.

y/n = your name

y/l/n = your last name

italicized text are Reader’s inner thoughts.

-- Chapter 2: I fucking beg your goddamn pardon? --

Once we pinned down the gender of the unsub, it wasn’t hard to help the locals close the case. Anna Marie Wilcox, 29. A pretty blonde girl with haunted eyes, betrayed by every man in her life. She just wanted to take her power back.

Cool motive; still murder.

The flight back to Quantico was quiet. Hotch spoke with Rossi before take-off, telling us that he was flying back from San Francisco after visiting his daughter and grandson and that he would see us on Monday. After that, everyone seemed to slip into their own world. This wasn't uncommon. After working day and night to save lives, digging your way into the darkest corners of a murderer’s mind, you needed to decompress a bit.

JJ was asleep in the back of the cabin, Emily sitting beside her while she reviewed some files. Hotch was writing at the small table, Morgan sitting opposite him, eyes closed while he listened to whatever played through his headphones.

And I was on the couch with Dr. Spencer Reid. I was very surprised when he boarded the jet and made a beeline towards where I was sitting without hesitation. He hadn't spoken to me or even looked at me for longer than 5 seconds since our talk at the precinct. I could tell my blunt words had an effect on him, which wasn't surprising to me. I tried not to stereotype people, I knew better than anyone else how wrong those stereotypes could be; but, if I ever had to guess a person I thought would be a submissive, I’d guess Spencer Reid.

My back was angled on the couch, pressing into the corner where the armrest met the backrest, my legs crossed in front of me. I had my phone in my head, swiping mindlessly on a puzzle game that didn't require any cell phone signal to play. I always found myself doing that after a case, it calmed me.

Dr. Reid was pretending to read.

He’s not even being convincing, I thought, trying to keep my face neutral. You read 20,000 words a minute, baby. You’ve been staring at that page for 5 minutes. Unable to resist, I shifted in my seat. I slowly uncrossed my legs, the small slit in the side of my skirt becoming visible at the movement.

Did I wear this skirt on purpose? Yes, yes, I did.

I let out a soft sigh before re-crossing my legs. I watched him out of the corner of my eye the entire time. His eyes followed my movements, his breath hitching slightly. He moved his gaze up my body until he got to my eyes, which he was surprised to find were on him. He cleared his throat before going back to his book, little splotches of red on his cheeks.

I smirked. All you have to do is ask, Dr. Reid.

Nothing happened until Thursday the following week. I had all but given up hope that Spencer Reid would finally cave and come to me. Shame, I thought. He would look so pretty when he begged.

The unit's caseload had been lighter than normal, with no cases that required us to travel. We did some consulting and wrote up some preliminary profiles for the law enforcement agencies that asked for our help. We had been traveling so much over the past few months, I think Hotch was just trying to give us a break.

A loud clap of thunder broke the silence of the bullpen. Then it seemed as if the sky opened up a second later, the heavy rain falling like a curtain outside the windows.

“That’s dramatic,” Emily Prentiss commented.

Morgan made a sound of agreement before turning his head to look at Reid. “Have fun walking to the train station in that, pretty boy.” His face split into a smile as Spencer shot him a glare. JJ, Emily, and I all laughed at their exchange. His eyes didn’t go to JJ or Emily though, those caramel brown eyes swung in my direction.

At the end of the workday, Garcia was the first out the door. She walked past the bullpen and gave a big wave. “Goodbye, my darlings. I will see you in the morning…unless there is a terrible murder!”

The team smiled and returned her goodbye. Derek was out of his seat in a flash, trailing after her. I couldn’t help but wonder about the two of them sometimes.

“Bye Spence,” I heard JJ say as she passed the boy wonder’s desk. “Try not to drown out there.” Emily laughed as she walked up beside JJ, standing just a little too close. I wondered about them too, if I’m honest.

When it was just me and the object of my attention left, I got my bag and approached his desk. “Hey, Doc.”

He didn’t look up, making it seem like putting files and papers into his messenger bag required his full attention. “Hi, y/l/n.”

Well, this wouldn’t do at all. “It’s still pouring outside. Do you need a ride? I’d hate for you to have to walk a block in this storm.”

“I’ll manage,” he muttered, still not meeting my eyes.

I let out a sigh. “Spencer.” His eyes finally raised to meet mine. “I’m sorry if I stepped over the line in Nebraska. It was unprofessional. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That wasn’t my intention.” He opened his mouth to interrupt, but I continued. “I hope that we can move past this, I really miss my friend.”

He took a moment to adjust his glasses. He never wore them anymore, and I have to admit that my heart sputtered a bit when I saw him in them this morning. “We were friends before?” He chuckled slightly, earning a smile for me. I’d only been with the BAU for 7 months, and while I was friendly with my co-workers, Spencer and I had never had a particularly close bond.

“I like to think so,” was my reply, giving him a small smile. “And if we weren’t before, I hope we can be one day.” With one final look in those eyes, I turned. “Have a good night, Doc.”

I was halfway to the elevators when I heard him. “Y/n!” I turned to see him hurrying towards me. He smiled at me; and it was his real smile, not the polite smile he gave others. It was a full-blown smile that lit his whole face up. My stomach fluttered. “If you don’t mind, I’d actually like a ride. If you’re still willing?”

Still so nervous, even now. “Of course, pretty boy,” Morgan’s nickname for him slipping from my lips without a thought. “Follow me.”

It wasn’t the thing I had been hoping all week that he’d ask me, but it was a start.

The drive to Spencer’s apartment took longer than it should have. I was driving slower because of the storm; I was also driving slower because other drivers weren’t driving slowly.

"This type of rain is so heavy it cuts the visibility more than the average storm," the good doctor said. "Under normal precipitation, it's advised that you reduce your speed by at least 10 miles to account for less traction."

“Huh,” I responded, glancing down at my speedometer.

He cleared his throat. “S-sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

I risked a quick glance at him to see him shifting in his seat. “Do what, Doc?”

“Ramble,” Spencer said softly. “I ramble when I’m nervous, and I’m trying really hard not to be nervous.”

My heart ached for him in that moment. This brilliant, brilliant, man, the smartest and kindest person in any room, was nervous about talking to me. My right hand lifted from the steering wheel before I could think better of it, touching his arm lightly. “Please don’t be nervous around me, Spencer.” His whole body stiffened at my touch. “Shit! I’m sorry. I forgot you don’t like to be touch.” I blew out a frustrated breath. “I just keep fucking this up, don’t I?” My chuckle was sad, and a little bit bitter.

“It’s not that,” he said quickly. “I was just surprised. I don’t…I don’t mind if you touch me.”

I didn’t try to hide the shock on my face. “You don’t, huh?”

I swear I could almost hear the blush in his voice. “I d-didn’t mean it like t-.”

“Spence,” I cut him off. “I know. I was just teasing.”

He let out a small chuckle at that. "Oh. Right." There was a beat of silence before he spoke again. "You know, you've never called me Spence before." I simply nodded in agreement. He was right, I hadn't. I hadn't even meant to do it then. He continued on. “Actually, you only call me Spencer when the conversation is serious. Other than that it’s always Doc…or occasionally Reid.” The chuckle that left him put a smile on my face.

“You’re right, Doc.” I glanced over at him and smiled. “Tell you what, I don’t want you to be nervous around me. At all. So, I’m giving you blanket consent right now.” I really hoped I knew what I was doing. “You can ask me any question you want. You can tell me anything. I promise I won’t judge you.”

“…Really?” He sounded almost like he was in awe.

I nodded. “Yes, really. The thought of making you nervous makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want you to feel that way in front of me.” My voice was soft, reassuring. Maybe it was the soft dom in me that recognized his submissive, but I wanted to comfort him. I wanted him to feel safe.

Spencer Reid took a deep breath before he spoke again. He acted like it was no big deal, but the words he said afterward gave me a mild heart attack. "Okay, can you tell me about your BDSM experiences?"

I fucking beg your goddamn pardon?

I sputtered a bit. “…Seriously?” My eyes were wide, I didn’t risk looking at him.

“W-well,” he sounded unsure now. “You said I could ask you anything.”

“You can! You absolutely can!” I heard him let out a breath. “I’m just…surprised that’s what you went with. That’s all. But…I don’t mind telling you if you really want to know.”

“I do,” he whispered.

I smiled over at him. “Okay, Doc. What do you wanna know?”

Spencer chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully. “Maybe just walk me through what you like to do. Or what you usually do. Or how you got into it.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, that’s all?” I shook my head. “Alright. I was 21 when I first got into it. I had a…he wasn’t really my boyfriend. I guess you can say a friend with benefits.” I saw him nod his head in understanding. “And one day he asked me if I knew anything about BDSM. At that time, I only knew misconceptions and rumors; which is why I told him I wasn’t interested. The thought of someone tying me down and doing whatever they wanted to me sounded terrifying. But he clarified that he thought I would enjoy being a dominant. We tried it out a few times…and I liked it.”

Spencer cleared his throat. “So…is that the only kind of sex you have?”

I pondered over how to answer him. “That’s…a complicated question. I’m not not answering. I think I should just explain a bit more first." He made a noise of affirmation before I continued on. "What I do during a scene sort of depends on my submissive. Before anything happens, we have to have a really in-depth conversation, discussing hard and soft limits, punishments, expectations, and things like that." I glanced over, confirming I hadn't lost him. "Like I mentioned, I'm a soft dom. But, I usually can bend to what my submissive likes, as long as I’m comfortable.”

“So, what would you do? If you got to pick everything?”

You keep on surprising me, Doctor, I thought.

“Well, I like bondage, choking, degradation, but only if it’s light and done right.” I don’t know why I felt the need to explain that. “Then I’m fine with oral sex, praise, orgasm denial, overstimulation, and pegging.”

Spencer was quiet. “A-and pegging is the…”

“What the unsub was doing to her victims? Yes, Spencer.”

“…Oh,” was all the boy genius said.

I continued on, trying to provide context. “I usually like to build up the relationship a bit before I bust out a strap on, though.” I worked hard to keep my voice even. “I’ll use toys on him first, usually.”

“You didn’t say sex.”

Shit. "Beg pardon?" I asked like I was clueless about what he meant.

Dr. Reid’s voice was firm; it was the voice he used on cases, the steady voice that explained concepts that anyone else would miss. “You said oral sex. You said you’d…you’d…do that-“

“Oh, for God’s sake, Doc,” I interrupted with a laugh. “We’re less than 3 minutes from your apartment and we’re having a conversation about BDSM. You can say fuck.”

“Fine,” he huffed. “You said you fuck them. But you never said you’d let them fuck you.”

Fucking profilers. “Yes, that’s right. That’s why it was so hard for me to answer your earlier question. I don’t have traditional sex with my submissives.”

His voice was confused when he asked, “But why?”

I clicked my tongue. “That, my darling, is a conversation I avoid at all costs. And we’re at your apartment.”

Spencer glanced around, surprised we’d arrived already, despite how long the drive took in the rain. I knew what he was going to do before he did it. I was already formulating my answer when he said, “Y/n…would you want to come up to my apartment? So we could keep talking?”

“Sure, Spence. If that’s what you want.”

message/comment to be added to the series tag list! thank you for reading :)

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shadyufo · 3 years

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pardon my ignorance but I've never really been around horses, how do they... show personality? I mean what makes a horse a sweetheart or something? I'm just really curious and a lil confused haha

No worries, Anon! Fair warning though, you instigated a long and rambling reply here, haha.

I’d call almost any horse sweet, to be honest. They can just be such wonderfully goofy, charming, and delightful creatures. There are of course a few that can be downright dangerous and mean (there’s usually some history of trauma or health-related issues going on in those cases *edit: or too much testosterone, lol) and some definitely have bad habits though, like one gelding I met last month while looking for a friend for Sandy. I walked him around the arena a couple of times and came out of it with four “love bite” bruises that lasted for ages and were sore as shit. Still have a little scar on my shoulder where one broke the skin. He wasn’t being malicious about it, just using his mouth to check me out like a child using their hands to investigate something new, but their teeth can definitely cause damage even when they don’t mean too (I’ve still got a knot in one knuckle where Sandy bit me on accident about a decade ago; I heard a crunch and a “pop” and was sure my finger was gone, haha). That can often be trained out of them but I just didn’t want him gnawing on Sandy. But he had a nice temperament and I’d still say he was a sweet old guy—just a tad on the mouthy side, haha.

Horses are just like any other animals (including people!) though—they each have their own unique personalities. Some are extroverts and some are introverts. Some are leaders and some are followers. Some are more laid-back and sedate while others are more high-strung and flighty. Some take life very seriously, others are more playful and mischievous. Some are filled with endless energy and love nothing more than to run. My Mom had a gelding when she was a teenager named "Go-Boy" for this very reason—he loved to run and never wanted to stop. And then others are just more into naps and chilling which I can totally relate to, haha.

There are some special ones who may be a combination of any of the above but they are also just as gentle and yes, "sweet," as can be. They want to be around you and seem pleased to see you, whether or not you have a feed bucket in hand or treats in your pocket. They are curious to see what you are up to and just seem happy to be in your presence.

Of course training and an animal's history can make an impact on their behavior and shape them to a degree but each individual animal will still be unique and have their own one-of-a-kind personalities.

Sandy is a very no-nonsense sort of mare. Her main focus in life is food. When I brought Bo home she immediately started nibbling and nuzzling on him like a mare with a foal and she led him all around the pasture, showed him the barn, and took him to meet Doc and Abraham, the geldings next door. But then that evening as soon as she saw me coming with the feed bucket she pinned her ears at him and wouldn’t let him get near the feeding area. She’s mostly gotten over the feeding time drama now but yeah, just don’t mess with her food and she’ll be a sweetheart, haha.

Russell was a big, goofy, baby. He weighed around 1500 lbs in his prime but if something scared him he’d run and hide behind little old Sandy. I’d give them a bit of watermelon once in a while as a special treat and while Sandy would always just rip hers apart and eat it all, Russell would very daintily use his teeth to scrape all the meat out then leave the rind behind (which Sandy would chomp up). And in the end, even with all the times I had to give him medication and stick him with needles and harass him with visit after visit from vets, still on that last day he laid down and felt safe enough for me hold his head in my lap while he napped for a long time. He was most definitely a sweet, special boy and I still feel like part of me is missing with him gone.

I'm still learning Bo's personality. He's just a youngster in a new place after all so he’s still settling in and also in the process of evolving into what he'll be like as an adult. Like humans, an animal’s life experiences mold their personalities over time. But even with all the overworking and untreated health issues he’s had going on for who knows how long he still doesn't lash out or run away when I have to give him his medication.

He’s definitely a playful little guy though. The other evening I watched him chomp down on their jolly ball (a heavy-duty, basketball-sized rubber ball with a handle on it for horses to play with) and take off galloping across the pasture with it between his teeth. I have yet to find it, haha. He loves knocking their rubber feed buckets off the fence to play with them too.

So yeah, long and very rambling way of saying horses are really cool critters with big and beautiful personalities. <3 Hope that helps answer your question, Anon!

#asks #words #anonymous #farm life #horses #long post

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scabopolis · 3 years

Note

Omg congrats on 600 followers! Honestly any fake dating with Jonah x Amy would be amazing, although I love number 44 and/or 48 on your Google Docs <333

This is my first Jonah x Amy fic and I offer two caveats: 1) I’m still not sure if there is a particular vibe people who read for this pairing preferring, so...here we are, and 2) I have only made it through 4x12 of Superstore but am pretty familiar w/ what happens the rest of the series.

Prompt: “You know we’re not actually dating, so why did you propose to me in front of my family?” / “I’m sorry, I panicked.” --- Title: the scene of the complication Fandom: Superstore Pairing: Jonah/Amy Other Characters: My crippling insecurity writing for a new fandom, sleep soft mornings, dumbs being dumb (but, like in a cute way) Additional Tags: friends to lovers (or idiots to friends to lovers??), fake dating shenanigans, alternative universe where Amy’s HS pregnancy test was negative and she and Jonah met in college Word Count: ~2,100 ---

It started with a chance meeting ten years ago, and somehow it’s brought Amy Sosa here: awake in her childhood room with Jonah Simms beside her, sleeping off upwards of half a dozen tequila shots. Maybe she shouldn’t be surprised. She knew that day they met in the lecture hall that Jonah was a person who would make her life exceedingly more complicated.

And ten years later, here they are, practically leaving complicated behind in the rear view mirror.

(“What are two hopes and one fear you have for your first lecture on your first day of college?” the guy sitting to her right asks.

Amy doesn’t answer at first but this stranger just waits for her, all blinking, bright eyes and freshman eagerness. It’s barely morning. Is this her life now?

“Hope one,” she says, holding up a finger, “that I’d sit next to someone quiet. Hope two,” she holds up another, “that no one would talk to me before I managed to find coffee.” She holds up a third finger. “And this moment right here is what I feared.”

For some reason, her shortness delights him. His smile is open and affectionate, and he nods in appreciation.

“Noted.”

And Amy fully intends to never speak to this wide-eyed panda boy ever again, but then their General Psychology professor informs the class that the person they’re sitting next to will be their assignment partner for the semester.

The next lecture her partner – his name is Jonah, she learns – brings her a cup of coffee and doesn’t speak a word until she takes a long sip.

Complicated.)

Jonah snuffles in his sleep, his eyelids fluttering slightly. His hair is doing that thing it does when he’s hot or drunk or has run a hand through it too many times, where a single lock of hair hangs in the middle of his forehead. Amy resists the very real urge to brush it away. Because, yeah, she has those kinds of thoughts a lot and they also make things complicated. They’re friends. Maybe even best-friends, but definitely not ‘tenderly brush a lock of your hair away’ friends.

Do those kinds of friends even exist?

Jonah stirs again, and now that it’s clear he’s actually waking up, Amy reaches for her phone and opens Candy Crush. The last thing she needs is to get caught staring at him like some weird stalker.

“Oh, god,” he groans, his voice scratchy. He stretches out with another groan, his foot bumping against Amy’s as he does. Rather than move away, he kind of just rests it there on top of hers. And this is something she is all too familiar with. Drunk and/or hungover Jonah is yet another complication. More accurately, his propensity to cuddle indiscriminately is a very real complication.

“I need—” Amy reaches for the glass of water on her night stand and hands it to Jonah, stopping him mid-thought. “Do you have—?” She hands him two ibuprofen. “Thank you,” he says.

“You’re welcome.” She looks back at her phone.

Jonah swallows the two pills and drinks the entire glass of water, and then lays back down, curling slightly into Amy’s side.

“I made so many mistakes last night,” he says.

“I’m aware. As are your 80 Instagram followers.”

“I liveblogged it?”

“And tagged everything with the hashtag ‘best noche ever.’” He groans again and turns his face into Amy’s side. She sets her phone back on the nightstand. “What got into you?”

“Your dad is intimidating.”

“My dad?”

“Yes. Your dad. And then he and your brother kept pouring me shots—”

“I knew this had Eric’s fingerprints all over it.”

“Well, it was kind of my fault, too.”

She frowns. “What do you mean?” Jonah doesn’t answer and Amy kicks him under the covers. He looks up at her. His eyes are red-rimmed but also so sleepy and soft. Complicated. “Jonah.”

“They kept asking me questions. About you and me. And I was so worried I’d say something wrong, I kept taking shots to avoid answering.”

“You could have found me.”

“I know, but—” he trails off.

“But what?”

“I want them to like me.”

“Oh, Jonah.” She gives in and brushes the lock of hair off his forehead, and he looks up at her. “They’ve known you for 10 years. They’re never going to like you.”

“Thanks, I feel so much better.”

“I do have one more question.”

“Okay.”

“You know we’re not actually dating. Right?”

He closes his eyes and nods. “No. Yeah. I know.”

“So why did you propose to me in front of my family?”

“I panicked.”

“Panicked?”

“Your dad asked what my intentions were, and there were just so many shots.

“And that’s why you shouted ‘I intend to marry her!’?”

Jonah flips the comforter over his head. “I just got wrapped up in it all.” His words are muffled from under the comforter.

She’s glad for the moment of respite, with Jonah unable to see her. If Amy didn’t want things to careen so off track, she probably shouldn’t have agreed to let him come to her dad’s retirement party as her fake boyfriend.

(“I don’t see what the problem is,” Jonah says, spooning more cashew chicken onto his plate. “You don’t still have feelings for Adam, do you?”

“No. No. God no,” she says. “Absolutely not.”

“Alright. I’m clear on the no.”

“It’s just the last time I saw him— Well, you know.”

“I recall, yes.”

And he does. Jonah knows all about Amy’s high school boyfriend. The one she liked but never quite loved. The one she broke up with when the pregnancy test came back negative. The one she slept with again the summer after their senior year of college.

(An event that occurred in no small part because Jonah was dating Mindy and the two of them were talking about moving in together. Maybe moving to the west coast together and Amy realized there was a very real possibility she was going to be left behind.

Jonah doesn’t know that part of the story.)

Adam is also the guy who thought having sex in her childhood bedroom meant Amy wanted to get back together. He’s the guy bringing his very beautiful fiancée to her dad’s retirement party. Because he’s also somehow the guy who still helps her dad with home improvement projects. And Amy is just Amy – the one who doesn’t visit St. Louis enough, and is using her very expensive liberal arts degree to work as a survey researcher for Cloud9, meaning she’s basically paid to manipulate shoppers.

And, not that it should matter, but she’s also very single. Has been for a while now.

She mostly blames the man stealing chow mein from her plate for that. She blocks Jonah’s chopsticks with hers, and a piece of cabbage goes flying.

“Stop that,” she says.

“You’re not eating it.”

“I’m too annoyed to eat.”

“If you only ate when you weren’t annoyed you’d starve.”

“I hate you.”

She pushes the chow mein around her plate. God, when she thinks about it, this really is Jonah’s fault. If she could just find a way to get over this stupid, dumb, little crush that has creeped up – without her permission, mind you! – then maybe she could actually—

“I could do it,” Jonah says, interrupting her thought spiral.

“Do what?”

“Go with you to your dad’s retirement party. Be your fake boyfriend.”

“You think that’s a good idea?”

“I think it’s a great idea. Besides, I am very close to getting your dad to like me.”

“He’ll never like you.”

“It’s not that I didn’t like the painting—”

“—How would this even work?” she asks, cutting him off.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I think we act like we normally do, but maybe you can hold my hand and be nice to me.”

“Eww.”

Jonah smiles around a large bite of cashew chicken. She really needs to stop hanging out with him so much – he’s become immune to her insults. It’s rude.

And him as her fake boyfriend is a terrible idea. Truly awful. If Amy is looking to get over her crush and make things between her and Jonah less complicated, there are better ways to do it.

Except.

Except she kind of wants to.

“Okay. Let’s do it,” she says.

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” she says decisively. “But if you try and kiss me, I’ll cut your lips off.”

“That seems like a proportionate response.”)

“So, to be clear, I told you kissing wasn’t allowed, and you thought that left proposals on the table?”

He groans again from under the comforter. It’s a little sad and a lot pathetic. Poor guy.

She pats the comforter in the area of what she hopes is his shoulder. As annoyed as she is at having to untangle these threads, it’s not his fault. Not really. She knows her family is relentless. Amy slides down and flips the comforter over her head as well.

Jonah rolls over onto his side to face her. Amy does the same.

“It was better than Adam’s proposal.”

“Adam proposed?”

Amy nods. “Ish. If I remember correctly he said, ‘I’ll marry you if I have to.’”

“Yikes.”

“Right?” It’s cozy under this blanket. Intimate even. “You did say some nice things. Even if they came out kind of slurred.”

“Amy—”

“Sexy, huh?”

“I really didn’t mean to shout that to all of your dad’s—”

“Because it’s not true?”

“No!” Jonah winces and Amy isn’t sure if it’s ‘I have a hangover’ induced or ‘I am revealing too much’ induced. “It’s true. Of course it’s true. You are very, you know.”

“Sexy on a completely objective level? Or, are you saying that you, yourself, Jonah Simms, think I’m sexy?” Jonah goes completely still. Amy isn’t even sure he’s breathing. It’s entirely uncharacteristic and a little unnerving. She pokes his cheek. “Are you blushing?”

“Big time, yeah.”

That does enough to break the tension under their blanket enclave, both of them laughing, at first awkwardly and then more genuine. Once they stop to catch their breath, Amy notices they’ve shifted closer together.

This would be the perfect moment to flee from the scene of the complication. But the complications don’t seem so terrible at this specific moment. She blames that lock of hair of his.

“How long have you held this opinion?” Jonah frowns at Amy’s question. “Regarding my sexiness?” she clarifies.

“Amy—”

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

“I just want to—”

“Really? You really want to have this conversation?”

Jonah stresses the ‘you’ and Amy knows why he does. There isn’t a topic or feeling that is off-limits to Jonah – he’d happily discuss every feeling he’s ever had. It’s her. It’s always her.

Their faces are so close they’re practically sharing the same pillow. It takes no effort at all for Amy to close the distance between them, lightly brushing her lips against his. As quick as it began it’s over, and even in the dim light under the comforter, Amy can see Jonah’s eyes blown wide. She’s sure she looks just as shocked and she’s the one who did it.

“You said if I kissed you you’d cut off my lips.”

“Which is why I kissed you.”

“Oh,” he nods. “Makes sense.” Jonah taps out a slow but erratic rhythm against the side of his leg. She just knows he’s trying to stop himself from verbalizing every single thought in his head. “To be clear, was that a friendship kiss, or—”

So Amy kisses him again. This time Jonah recovers quickly from his shock, winding a hand into her hair, his palm cupping the back of her head. It’s just unbelievably good.

“Okay,” Jonah says, his voice unsteady as he pulls away. “That answers that.” He traces her jaw with his thumb. “Any chance we could do it some more?”

Amy rolls onto her back, putting some distance between them. “I don’t think so.”

“Wait. What?”

“Your breath is awful.”

Jonah breathes into his hand and sniffs it to confirm. “What if I brush my teeth?”

Amy sighs, long and exasperated. “I suppose that would be—”

Jonah is out of the bed in seconds, scrambling for his overnight bag, and Amy presses her lips together to hide her smile. From the way Jonah smiles, soft and delighted as he backs out of the room, she isn’t fooling anyone.

So far past the point of complicated, she thinks, her heart still racing. But then again, maybe complications that make her feel like this are okay.

#simmosa fanfic #superstore fanfic #jonah x amy #jonah simms #amy sosa #amy dubanowski #I hope you like it anon!#first fic for a new fandom is always the most nerve wracking!#why is that?#p: jonah x amy #c: jonah simms #c: amy sosa #tv: superstore #otp: fresh start #Anonymous #never stories

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vtforpedro · 3 years

Text

medical update and stuff. trigger warnings in tags I’m extremely frustrated. it’s been 15 months of frustration lol so so so sick of doctors, so sick of living through this. I am tired and getting no relief you might remember, but I was given a ‘possible’ IIH diagnosis in October. we’ve been treating it like it is IIH, which means everything has always been real etc etc and the treatment is weight loss. started my ‘better eating habits’ on nov 1st. then I immediately had the thing with my chemo pill packing on a ton of excess fluid, worsening my head to the point of ER and calling my neurosurgeon, getting taken off my chemo pill, and it wasn’t until mid-december that I actually started to see any fucking weight loss cause of that my pcp told me 5lbs a month. so I’ve been right on track with that despite wishing I could lose 10 a month but that’d be starving myself so lol I’ve lost 15lbs but now something exciting is happening again!! I am retaining fluid and I have NO idea why. which means my head is now as bad as it was last summer when everything was at its worse. constant all day long, pills barely doing anything for me, vision issues, pain issues. it feels like something broke in the base of my skull/neck because I get the scariest sensations there. it’s horrible. no human being should have to live this way and I do it every single day, numerous times a day anyway I had to go to the ER last thursday A G A I N because a doctor sent me. my pupils were noticeably two different sizes. I’d noticed three days beforehand and convinced myself I was imagining it cause it wasn’t a huge difference. finally took a picture and no, def not the same size and my eye looked like it was going inward? anyway, called my pcp, they had me come in that day, he saw it from a foot and a half away, sat back, and said I need you to go to the ER, you need your brain looked at. so again, I’ve been seeing this for three days while my head has been 10/10 extreme due to pressure in it. I get there and have to wait a while but less than two hours later when they finally looked at me? gone. pupils back to normal. doctor talking down to me like I was just an anxious mess and not that another dr sent me cause he saw what I did lol and his notes were in my chart. so, wasted visit and they put a covid patient 15ft from me and intubated them, so get to remember what that sounds like forever and ever (covid patients are supposed to be separated from other ER patients). now I’m doing a 10 day quarantine while I am so severely disabled I cannot bend over to take care of my cats food/litter/etc and it’s why my mom half lives with me but she can’t right now :) getting a covid test in three hours and it’s been eight days with nothing but head issues + fluid retention so hoping it’s negative the fluid retention I had before was a side effect of my chemo pill. I don’t know why this is happening. I should be 17lbs down now and I’ve actually gained weight despite being on the same diet that lost me the 15. I’m back to 13lbs down. this makes me feel like I might be carrying 4lbs of water weight. let me break this down because yesterday a PA told me my symptoms were too ‘ambiguous’ to say if fluid retention is happening or not - fluid retention from the chemo pill was ALL felt in my stomach. it was distended and bloated like I’d eaten at a buffet every single day - head got massively worse, enough to go to the er, doc and I agreed the fluid retention causing me to fluctuate between 15lbs was making the IIH worse - not urinating often despite drinking a normal amount - got on a diuretic, seven days later the weight was gone, head was better, started losing weight this is what I’m experiencing now - fluid retention that is causing my stomach to feel very bloated and look/feel distended - head has gotten massively worse, enough to send me to the ER - should be losing weight, have actually gained weight on a low fat, low calorie diet - the only difference this time is that I am dehydrating myself (yes I know, bad, but it is literally saving my life) because I experimented one day with half my water intake and my head was miles better. still experiencing a terrible head episode once or twice a day but it’s not 10/10 constantly - and the second difference is despite not drinking enough water, I am actually urinating more often and it’s a lot more clear than it should be, the color I expect when I’m hydrating well I consider this ^^^^^ to be a good case of why I think I have fluid retention but being told my symptoms were ‘ambiguous’ and throwing me to my neurosurgeon instead is HNNNNG (esp because diuretics are known to help IIH symptoms FOR THIS EXACT REASON) I have VERY recently had my sugars checked a few times, glucose is normal. VERY recently had an abdominal CT, also normal. it’s not diabetes, it’s not something happening in my abdomen. they hear abdomen vs legs swelling and think it’s GI because doctors never fucking listen and actively put their patients in danger but o h w e l l, I guess anyway as it’s been for 15 months, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I go this way and experience agony, I go that way and experience agony I need extra hydration for weight loss, leukemia, being obese. I need less hydration because it worsens IIH to the point of 10/10 I want to die (which makes me heavily and actively suicidal. doctors see I take anti-depressants and assume idk I’m being dramatic but no, it’s really this fucking bad. I would rather die that moment than keep feeling what’s happening in my head) there’s like no middle ground and my body and these doctors are making it impossible to figure this shit out. my mom had to come over at 1:45 AM last night (hasn’t had to rush here since april 2020 cause that’s just how bad it is) because I lost my balance twice and was lucky I had something to catch onto or I would’ve been on the ground (neuro symptoms which could be IIH, could be chiari, could be stroke) and my speech got SUPER bad almost immediately. scared the hell out of me, I have never in my life lost balance that badly before things are going downhill and I would’ve thought losing weight they’d start improving but when has my body ever made this easy lol meeting a new neurologist on monday who works in the same building with my neurosurgeon. I’ve been avoiding them cause every single one of them told me I was just anxious despite specific physical movements causing an episode lmao but hopefully this guy is better and he has access to all of my neurosurgeon’s notes and stuff. I can’t keep dehydrating myself but at the same time I can’t let my head get so bad I make a farewell note for my mom, you know? it’s just been really bad and I don’t know how to get people to listen to me. I have a 99% diagnosis and they still don’t take me as seriously as they should. this has ruined my quality of life and they would have you believe that doctors take that seriously but they do not neurosurgeon wants me to see an ophthalmologist again cause of my vision issues and to check for specific things that relate to IIH. he wants another MRI done in early may cause it’s been a year since my last one by then (actually a month later, my last one was in april, but I’m curious if the neurologist will order one sooner) to check to see if anything has worsened so yeah living in absolute hell again and don’t know if I can just get a simple one week diuretic to get this fluid out of my body. what the FUCK else can it be when I’ve experienced this exact thing twice!! before. it happened to a much, much lesser degree the first time I got on the chemo pill. but the same shit :) hanging on by the thinnest thread guys and 15 months of feeling like I’m going to die almost every single day through that has destroyed my psyche. destroyed me as a person. I don’t know what to do anymore sorry this is all a lot of Bad™ but it’s been a lot of bad for 15 months. if I can keep going, I hope one day to be able to give an update of improvement love you all

#medical #medical trauma #tw suicidal thoughts #personal #long post

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dimitrescus-bitch · 4 years

Text

Compromised (Becky Lynch x Liv Morgan x Reader)

smut

“Where is she?” Liv asked as she ran around backstage. Word of your brand switch over from Smackdown had reached her and she was so excited to get to spend time with you again. The two of you had been super close at NXT, but got called to different main roster brands, worked different PPVs, and rarely got to see each other after that. “Y/n, sweetie, there you are.”

“Hi Liv,” you said with a little smile. It was really nice to see her again. She still made your heart flutter when she smiled at you or laughed. Liv launched herself into your arms and kissed your cheek. “You look really good.”

“Thank you, it’s amazing what a new gimmick will do for a girl. I’m winning matches and lookin’ like a snack,” Liv laughed as she threw her hair over her shoulder. You had also been “improved” by creative with a new gimmick. Where Liv had been like the brand’s “juvenile delinquent” you had been the “golden girl” of the company. Now, you were more unhinged and if you lost a match, it was because of a DQ. “And you seem to have made a new best friend.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” you said, leaning against your kendo stick. You took it with you pretty much everywhere at work. “I should get ready for my match. It’s a pretty big one.”

“Good luck,” Liv told you as she leaned up to kiss your cheek. You smiled and went back to get your hair and makeup done. You were main eventing the show against Becky Lynch. You were doing a run-in on her and you were supposed to come out with the win. That was going to catch Charlotte Flair’s attention and set the two of you on a path to potentially being allies.

------------------------------------------------------

“Damn, you did a number on me,” Becky said as the two of you sat in the medic’s office. Becky had a pretty bad bruise on her back and you accidentally gave yourself a bloody nose on the ring apron.

“I did a number on myself.” You tossed your tissues into the trash and grabbed some more. “Hey doc, is my nose supposed to bleed like this?”

“Absolutely not,” the medic said and you glanced over at Becky. “No concussion Y/n, but you need to be careful. Becky, ice and rest should help that bruise heal up nicely.”

“Thanks doc,” you said to the medic as you hopped onto your feet. You walked out first and Becky followed you to the locker room. You showered, changed out of your ring gear, and then went out to your car. Once again, you found yourself walking beside Becky. “That was fun.”

“It was. Maybe sometime we can get a drink together, I think that’d be fun too,” Becky said and you nodded. She gave you her number and you went home with butterflies in your stomach.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Months went by and you had started spending a lot of your time with both Becky and Liv. You wanted to ask one of them out, but you didn’t know which one you liked more. If that wasn’t enough of a problem for you, things got worse when it became evident that both of them liked you.

Becky had kissed you one night after the two of you got a drink after a show. It wasn’t uncommon for one of you to stop at a liquor store before you went back to the hotel and share whatever bottle you got together when you got back. Less than two weeks after Becky had kissed you, you found yourself waking up in Liv’s bed after a sleepover with the majority of your clothes gone. You hadn’t had sex that night, you had gotten pretty close to doing it.

“You look more distressed than normal,” Charlotte noted as she sat down next to you. Tonight was another main event for the two of you, so you had about an hour to hang out in catering. Normally Liv did her match towards the beginning of the show, but you weren’t even sure if she had come in today. Your match was against Becky and Asuka. “What’s bothering you tonight?”

“Becky and Liv,” you said and Charlotte huffed. It had been one of them for the past couple of months and she wasn’t sure if she could actually help you or not. You were about to go into your problem, when it seemed like all hell broke loose backstage.

“What’s going on?” Charlotte asked one of the other wrestlers as they ran towards a monitor.

“Becky went after Liv Morgan,” they said and you scrambled to find a monitor. Charlotte was right behind you and everybody watched as Becky and Liv got into it. Security went out to get them and Stephanie came to tell you and Charlotte that you’d get your match against Becky next week.

“Jesus Christ, you need to talk to them,” Charlotte said and you ran a hand through your hair. “Because something tells me that whatever happened out there is because of you.”

“I know,” you sighed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Becky’s suspension lasted a couple of weeks, but Liv’s lasted a month. You were obviously pretty bummed about Liv, one of your best friends, not being there, but Becky kept you in pretty good spirits. The two of you got closer and she had kissed you a few more times, but nothing more came of it. That should have cleared everything up and helped you make a decision in who you’d ask out, but your visit to check on Liv ruined everything.

“We slept together,” you told Charlotte the second you saw her. “Liv and I slept together.”

“Get your shit together.” Charlotte sounded tired, but at the same time, slightly amused.

“I’m trying, I really am.” You flopped onto the floor and Charlotte’s eyes widened as she saw who was standing behind you.

“You slept with Liv?” Becky asked and your head shot up. “You didn’t think to tell me that you were a thing?”

“We’re not really a thing,” Liv said and Becky nodded. The two of them looked at each other and then looked at you. “Quite the compromising position you’ve found yourself in, isn’t it?”

“I’m fucked aren’t I?” you asked and Liv shook her head. She looked over at Becky and the Irishwoman shook her head as well. “You guys hate me don’t you?”

“Quite the contrary. We got to talking and then we realized something. There’s no point in fighting over you when we could just share you,” Liv told you. “This way we both get to be with you and you don’t have to beat yourself up over not making a choice.”

“I, I’d like that,” you said and Becky pulled you off of the floor.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

You laid on your stomach with your head buried in between Liv’s thighs. Becky was behind you, teasing you with the tip of her strap. Liv’s fists were balled up in the sheets as you ate her out. Becky slid into you from behind and you moaned into Liv. Liv had really done a number on you when you got to the hotel room, yet she hadn’t let you cum.

“Faster,” Liv moaned and you moved your fingers faster inside of her. You could feel her muscles clench around your fingers as she came and almost immediately, she flipped herself around so that she could kiss you. Liv kept your mouth busy as Becky fucked you. When you came, it took you by surprise, everything hitting you all of the sudden.

That night, you laid in bed with both Becky and Liv, thinking about how much you liked that compromise. You didn’t have to make a choice and you got to have the best sex of your life with two women that you cared deeply for. Liv was fast asleep in your arms, but Becky was still awake as she held you.

“I love you,” Becky said quietly.

“I love you too,” you said back to her. Becky smiled and kissed the side of your head. “Now to go sleep, we have a long day of driving ahead of us.”

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noforkingclue · 4 years

Note

Can u pls write something angst for time lord victorious!10th doctor x reader where he didn't snap out of it after mars and remain dark despite reader trying to reach out to him? And now he decided to keep you with him.

I fucking love this episode so I’m really happy to get this request!

Warning: Dark

Title: Run

Tag list: @v4n1r, @queerconfusionthings, @yourneighbourhoodclown, @emilythezeldafan

You paced around the TARDIS nervously waiting for the Doctor to return. You chewed on your nails and looked towards the doors. You could see that he wasn’t quite right ever since the two of you visited Mars. He was starting to scare you and it made you want to leave. You jumped when the doors flung open and the Doctor quickly slammed them shut again.

“Doc-“

He raised a hand to silence you while he marched towards the console. You stood there with your mouth open and your eyebrows raised. He never acted like that towards you and the nervousness increased. You were silent while the Doctor piloted the TARDIS away.

“I’ve done a terrible thing.” He said at last

“What… what do you mean?”

He walked over and grabbed your shoulders.

“I broke the laws of time,” he said leaning in close, “The very things I was taught not to happen. Do you want to know what happened?”

“What happened?”

“Nothing!” he laughed, “I’ve realised that I can control time. Time is mine! Everything is mine!”

“You’re scaring me Doctor.”

“Am I?”

“I want to go.”

The Doctor’s face went eerily blank. His grip tightened and you winced.

“Care to repeat that?”

“I want to go home.”

“Don’t be silly. You are home.”

“No I’m not! This might be your home but it’s feeling less and less like mine. I’d like to leave.”

“No.”

“Wh… what? You said that I could leave any time I want.”

“Yes but that was before I can discovered what I can do,” he leant in close and rested his forehead against yours, “I’m not letting you leave me y/n.”

“Why not?”

“Because your mine!” he yelled and you flinched back

“You foolish little human,” he hissed, “Ever since you stepped into my TARDIS you were always mine. Do you really think that I’d let you leave me so easily? Do you want to know what I thought about you when I first saw you,” his voice lowered and you could hear the leer in it, “All those secret, dark thoughts that passed through my head? When I was alone at night in my bed when all I wanted to do was break down the door to your room and make you mine?”

“I don’t want this Doc.”

He drew a shuddering breath when you used the nickname.

“Do you really think you have a choice in this matter? A weak human going up against the lord of time? The best thing for you to do is to give in and let me do what I want.”

One hand reached round and gasped the back of your head. He tilted it back before harshly pressing his lips against yours. You struggled in his grip but couldn’t break it. You felt so pathetic in his arms. The Doctor pulled at you hair and you gasped in pain allowing him to completely dominate you. He hated to admit it but the Doctor was an excellent kisser and you were about to give in-

“AHH!”

The Doctor jumped away from you while you wiped the blood from your mouth. You couldn’t afford to give in to this man who was clearly not the Doctor so you bit his tongue. You stared at each other for a second before you mad a mad dash away. You knew that you weren’t on earth anymore so there was no point in going towards the door. You just made it to the entrance to the corridor when the Doctor grabbed your arm and pulled you back.

“Let me go!”

The Doctor didn’t answer you. Instead he bent you over the TARDIS console and pressed against you. You froze when he felt him against you.

“You shouldn’t have done that love,” he said, “You really, really, shouldn’t have done that.”

You remained silent, terrified at what he was going to do. The Doctor leant up and looked down at you in appreciation.

“Do you want to know how many times I dreamed of taking you over my console?”

When you didn’t answer he twisted your arm and you cried out in pain.

“Answer me.”

“No,” you said quickly, “I don’t know.”

“Neither do I,” he sighed, “I’ve lost count. Now then,” he leant back down and you felt his breath ghost over your ear, “How about we play a little game?”

“A game?”

“Oh yes and I think you might like it.”

You took a shuddering breath and nodded.

“Alright. What’s the game?”

“I’ll let you go and you hide in the TARDIS.”

“That’s it?”

“No, no, no,” he said disappointedly, “Don’t you want to know what we get if either of us wins?”

“I do”

“If I win I get to do whatever I want to do to you.”

He pressed further against you and you had to bite your lip to stop yourself from sobbing.

“And if I win?” you asked eventually

“We get to play this game over and over again until I win. I’d ask you what you think but there’s no point,” he stood up and let you fall to the ground, “You don’t have a choice.”

He leant down and looked you up and down.

“You have ten minutes,” he said, “If I were you I’d start running.”

You scrambled to your feet and started sprinting down the corridor. You tried ignore the Doctor’s laughter as you desperately looked for a place to hide. You needed to get as far away from the Doctor as possible. He wasn’t your friend anymore.

#fanfiction #doctor who #reader insert #request #The Doctor #doctor x reader #Tenth Doctor #tenth doctor x reader #dark

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eggmarr · 3 years

Text

one + one [marcus pike x reader] - 1

part 1: the doctor and her agent (and sometimes vice versa) (fem!reader)

a/n: lemme just start here by saying that this is heavily inspired by the booth/brennan relationship dynamic cause i started watching bones again and fell in love with the banter and slow burn. so here, marcus is still marcus, just with some slight changes cause reader brings it out in him. also: i had trouble figuring out how to start this so it’s kinda shorter than i’d like, but it’s still good i swear (edit: you can find the masterlist here)

——————

The first time you met Marcus Pike, he knocked over a mannequin you had been using as a stand in for a murder victim.

“Ah! Sorry about that.”

Admittedly, you had been rather annoyed at first, but he’d come with important news about a case, so it was mostly forgive and forget. Piper, your lab assistant, remarked on him as she cleaned up later that evening.

“You know that agent from before? Andrews said he’s a transfer from Texas. Specialized in art theft, but skilled in a lot of fields. Apparently, he was engaged too, but she broke it off before the move.”

“Hm.”

“He’s quite a hit with the other ladies too, but I heard he shot ‘em all down. Politely!”

“That sounds good, Pipes, but I’m not hungry.”

She elected to leave the topic alone for the time being, and you didn’t think of him again until that day.

“Doctor, thank you for coming here today. Please, take a seat.”

The day you and Marcus Pike became partners. For the foreseeable future.

***

“Heads up, Doc!” Piper called out to you, clicking heels making you miss your mark on the microscope dials. “Incoming white knight to L-7! Just passed him in the hallway.”

You sighed, taking the slide out and carefully storing it away for later review.

“One day, he’s going to hear you calling him that.”

“That’s the third time this week, you know. I think he likes you!” The bubbly assistant chimed, fluffing her dark hair and adjusting her lab coat for nonexistent wrinkles.

“I’m sure he’s just here for those test results on the paint samples.”

“Yeah. Paint samples.” She rolled her eyes, moving to type away on her computer. “At least they sound like valid reasons.”

Before you could retort, the white knight in question strolled into the lab, coffees in hand.

“Thought you could use some.” Your attention turned to the outstretched cup, gaze following up to the warm brown eyes of Agent Pike. He’d been making it a habit to bring you something whenever he had to visit, giving you a modest collection of knickknacks on your desk.

“Thanks. I’ve been working on those paint samples you sent for a bit, so at the results should be coming in soon.”

He chuckled, taking a sip from his own cup. “You work too hard, Rook. Both of you.”

You rolled your eyes at the nickname, snatching the cup into your grasp. Pike had taken to calling you “Rook” ever since your first case together (something about how chess is a smart people sport?), and the nickname became commonplace sometime between then and now.

There’s have to be a gun to your head to admit it, but the name was growing on you.

“Just doing our jobs. How’s Emily doing?”

He nodded, stepping incrementally closer to you. “She’s doing good; hates the whole early maternity leave thing though. Wishes she could just get back into the field already.”

“I’ll make sure to give her a call. Davis must be driving her up the walls.”

A beep alerted you back to your computer, pulling yourself back into place to look over results and photos. You let out a triumphant laugh, surprising Pike.

“I knew it!”

“What do you got, Rook?”

You pointed to a couple results on the screen, explaining as he leaned down close to your shoulder.

“That paint sample you sent me? It’s handmade, not from a tube. The pigment looks to be copper acetate; there’s small flecks of copper and the binding agent’s ratio is slightly off. It’s a fake, Pike.”

You turned to gauge his reaction, raising an eyebrow at how close he was as he skimmed through the science jargon. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, occasionally mouthing along before that spark of realization hit him.

Pike looked at you with something in his eyes you couldn’t quite place, before giving you that smile Piper swears is only reserved for you. One side quirked higher up than the other, the sparkle in his eyes adding a certain charm to the boyish grin.

“You’re extraordinary, Rook.” He winked, taking his leave with a slight spring in his step that wasn’t there when he went in.

“Again. Paint samples?” Piper let out a quiet laugh at the glare you fixed on her.

“Don’t make me bring you and Andrews into this.”

“Low blow, Doc. Low blow.”

#marcus pike x reader #marcus pike #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal x reader #the mentalist #guys look i finally got my shit together #fem!reader

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ussjellyfish · 3 years

Text

Felix’s birth story

So I never wrote this out after he was born, or last year, and this year, my little gentleman is 2, and it seems like the time to tell it.

So, Felix’s birth story under the cut. (unmedicated vaginal delivery, really almost boring).

Felix’s due date was January 14th, and he was born on January 14th. I went for a walk the night before, and it was cold, really cold (-25C ish), and really beautiful and icy.

After midnight I had contractions, and I don’t think I could have said what a contraction was before I had them, but when I had them, it was obvious. (so that was nice!)

And they didn’t hurt at first, they were kind of consuming and tight and I couldn’t sleep through them. I did try to sleep. I lay there in the dark and listened to Drastic Measures (Star Trek Discovery) on audiobook because I had that on my phone and it didn’t take any effort.

My cats came and slept on me and it was actually kind of nice (but weird, intimidating because at some point it was going to hurt and be more intense and I wasn’t quite ready and when do you actually go to the hospital (I didn’t want to go early and be bored).

My water broke at around 430am, and it was weirdly just like they tell you. A pop kind of and gush, like I’d suddenly peed my pants without feeling like peeing.

I got up, I took off my pajamas, I put towels on my bed and then I couldn’t sleep anymore. I hadn’t bothered to time anything, I hadn’t looked at my phone, and I remember leaning on his crib, dancing around a little because they were pretty tight and wondering if I should use the contraction timer (which I hadn’t even looked at but I did have on my phone).

So I did that for about half an hour and I remember staring at the times thinking “these are too close together, I should wait until they are further apart and then go” They’d said around 5 minutes apart, you could head in.

Mine were three minutes or less apart then, and they lasted almost a minute. They hurt, a little, like my whole belly was tightening up and almost bouncing down? Very weird. Truly a unique experience.

So I woke up my mom after 5 and told her to walk the dog. She was staying with me with her rather annoying dog and my mom’s rather annoying so I wasn’t thrilled. We already had the car seat in the car and I had a bag (which included my star trek robe, always a good choice).

Mom was kind of skeptical, I guess because I wasn’t in that much pain. It did hurt, now, like the worst menstrual cramps I’d ever had and kind of bigger (I suppose my uterus was a lot bigger). It was cold and my mom was complaining about my car (I needed the brakes fixed) and we listened to classical music on the radio because she was grumpy.

It was after 6 when we got to the hospital, and we walked in and I remember in the parking lot was the first contraction I couldn’t walk through. I just stood there because it really hurt and if I was still, it was fine. And then you fill out paperwork and they offered me a wheelchair, which I didn’t want. Then they send me into a room to get checked and I took my clothes off and I was so wet, fluid was leaking and it just keep leaking and I was sweaty and they put a monitor on me and made me sit on the bed

Which sucked. Holding still sucked, sitting sucked and then they did an internal exam which was really uncomfortable and one of the women from my labor class had been sent home because she wasn’t in labor enough, and I was worried, because going home sounded so annoying.

I was at 8 centimeters, so I did not have to go home and the stupid monitor said Felix was fine. (stupid monitor). So we walked to the delivery room, which had purple lights, and I wanted to take a bath SO much and they wouldn’t let me because of the monitor. (my monitor hatred is strong).

My doula came, and she was awesome awesome. I hadn’t met her before and I didn’t get the one I thought I’d have because I was apparently so close they sent the faster one who lived closer. We changed positions a lot and wandered around and I remember basically peeing on the floor because I didn’t have to pee that much and they also weren’t that keen on mme going to the toilet. I don’t know why. They just put towels on the floor and it was fine.

My doctor was a 2nd year resident, and we were his second continuity of care delivery (where he’d been my prenatal too). He’s very sweet and enthusiastic. The teaching doc we got is this very calm Asian woman with small hands and really pretty hair. She came in around 8 because then I could push.

They made me lie down, which was annoying. They were worried about Felix being too big because I had gestational diabetes (mild and a huge point of contention because they just made everything hell).

I had to hold my legs and pushing is just the strangest movement because it’s muscles you usually don’t use. The light was bright over the bed and I did swear a few times, or yell, because it hurt and it was more just...frustrating and exhausting because it hurt and then it would still hurt and I did the right things but he would get closer and then go back.

I remember them wanting me to push with every contraction and there was one where I just took a break. Screw you guys.

I never really felt the bearing down they talk about. I thought I’d hit somewhere when I wanted to push and I didn’t. My hand hurt because the stupid IV was doing something. I had to hold on to my legs and that was annoying.

They decided they needed to do an episiotomy, and I’m still kind of bitter about this because we didn’t try changing positions (my doula did ask I was just not in the position to argue or advocate).

That part is really strange. I didn’t have any fight. I was tired, sure, but I was really agreeable. I’m told this is hormones too.

The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and kind of short, so I’d push him down and it would pull him back up. So they numbed me up (getting the needles in for that hurt) and my teaching doc did the cutting and then I pushed once and he just fell out.

He was just there, and damn, not being pregnant anymore feels really great. Kind of empty, but you’re so bendy-flexible- not under any tension anymore. It’s great.

And the placenta was nothing. It just kind of squelched out. It did look cool.

He had chubby arms and a chubby face and he was totally fine. I held him for a bit, he was not interested in eating, so they weighed him and gave him a hat and a heel poke and they stiched up the episiotomy.

That hurt, and my student doc was doing the stitches and he went outside the anesthetic for a few stitches and damn. I remember saying fuck a few times. I also got to get up to pee and I had one nurse called Katie who had been there and two more had come in at the end and they didn’t want to let me up, but I stood up just fine.

My nurse Katie said I hadn’t had an epidural and I think that was rather rare because they were surprised I could just walk.

And I was tired, like I’d been running or swimming or climbing, something really full body exhausting, but it didn’t hurt really.

We moved to the other room and Felix and I watched CNN and eventually we worked out how to get the boob in his mouth (more of it than I thought had to go in there).

and it was really boring. My mom stayed and my dad came and...it was still boring. Felix was very cute and cuddly and he wanted boob and snuggles and I remember changing his diapers and holding him (those funny sticky black new baby diapers) and he just wanted to be held all the time, and we atched pointless television because they won’t just let you go home.

I got ibuprofen and paracetemol and pancakes. I had pancakes right after he was born because I was so hungry.

And chocolate pudding and they were terrible pancakes but, I was hungry.

They made me pee in a weird upside down hat thing that went on the toilet a few times and then they left me alone.

It was very alone. I remember holding him in the bath in his blanket because I wanted a bath but I didn’t want him to get lonely and cry so I couldn’t grab him.

I was so sleep deprived and they don’t want you hold him in bed and fall asleep so he went down and back and down and back and I did eventually just give up and hold him and sleep.

He was also a perfect size. We went home the next day, which was too long in the hospital, especially after I got released at 1pm and he didn’t get out until 7pm because he was a little yellow. (he bounced back fine, but was a little yellow at first)

Then we went home, and watched Discovery and the Witcher and Korean zombie dramas and I ate so much chocolate peanut butter pretzels. My Doula came to visit, and we talked and I remember thinking kind of in a shellshocked way that I was really annoyed they made me push on my back and I couldn’t do anything about it.

It’s actually not a good position! It goes against the spine and I had my feet in stirrups and I had a nasty bruise on my hand from my IV (that I also didn’t need, they just ran saline the whole time) and my pinkie finger was all tingly (that took weeks to get back to normal).

And all the “you just had a baby” advice is totally crap if you’re single. Let someone else...do the dishes cook for you do...

No, you do ALL the things and baby, and change diapers in the middle of the night and feed them (constantly, it’s so constant).

And take the kiddo to get his blood checked when it’s -35C outside. (poor little guy, he was fine, didn’t even need the light jacket). And get weighed (he was getting plenty of milk and chubbed up fast).

But newborns have no personality. (in my opinion They don’t even really ‘like’ you. You feed them and you make them comfortable and they sleep, and sleep, and snuggle.

Star Trek got me through a lot those first couple months until he was big enough to know I was there (like actually know me)

#birth story #funny how I've wanted to write this for 2 years and did finally #hospital birth #personal

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the-river-person · 3 years

Text

The Eminent Doctor Gaster

Honestly Sans felt he was handling the afternoon rather well so far. He’d gone the castle that morning to speak with the King about plans for the Trial, which was going ahead whether he wanted to do it or not. At the rate things were going, the uneasy feeling Monsters had towards the Human might turn into civil unrest if they let it fester. Then he’d gone to help Alphys, who was having a breakdown, again. She’d been doing so well too. The Solution had given her a boost of confidence and she’d even managed to make some headway on what Sans was referring to as the “Amalgamate Problem”. But not fast enough. Even before everybody could remember the resets, people had begun trying to reach her for news on their family members, who had fallen down and then somehow been miraculously cured, or so the original announcement had said. That was before everything had gone wrong and the Determination proved to be too much for their Monster bodies to handle. Now the Hotland Labs were receiving floods of letters from anxious family members who wanted word of their relatives, especially after recent events. Some were even angry at Alphys’ attempts to evade answering questions. Naturally this had only made her more reclusive than ever. Sans had tried to convince her to make an official report to Asgore about it all. It’s not like she’d intentionally caused the whole mess, and her experiment had been approved by the Crown to begin with. The only thing that could get her in trouble was not reporting it sooner, and the King would understand. But no amount of convincing had been enough to get Alphys to agree, she was so stressed out by the near endless phone calls and letters that she couldn’t even think straight. He’d left her after making her more hot chocolate and getting her to watch some anime he’d plucked off the shelf. Maybe she’d calm down enough to see reason. Paps was not the person he’d been counting on to make the day so much weirder. The clothes were one thing. It wasn’t as if he never wore other things. But the mysterious friend in Waterfall, the creepy grey kid, and the appearing door... those were starting to freak him out. What on earth had Papyrus gotten into here? Sure he trusted his brother, who seemed to know what he was doing for the most part, but he had no idea how to even begin to ask the stream of questions that was flooding through his mind. The grey door creaked open slowly, revealing rooms beyond with a much lighter stone that was almost grey until you got a closer look at it, then it was silvery with veins of black running through it. Sounds of running machinery and the clinking of glass was coming from inside, and Sans hesitated a little at the entrance, not sure he wanted to meet whoever was inside. But Papyrus strode confidently in and after a moment Sans followed him. It was a lab. Not as fancy and well equipped as the Hotland Labs, but still functional enough. A figure was working on something at one of the tables. They wore a black coat and had a face of white, and white hands. Somehow they seemed a little blurry at first, as if they weren’t entirely in sync with everything else. But then that blurriness went away and Sans gaped as the white face solidified into a skull and the hands into familiar bones, though with a hole through the center of each palm. “Ah,” said the person, looking rather surprised. “Welcome. I wasn’t really expecting visitors. Papyrus its good to see you again. And Sans... Hmmm. Yes. It is good to meet you...erm... again.” Again? Had they met before? Something tickled at the back of his mind, like a half forgotten memory. It swam up as he tried to recall it, offering him images of working at the Labs, the back of a tall skeletal figure in a black lab coat, working with Alphys on the DT Extractor. This figure was the same one that he remembered, he was pretty sure. And hadn’t Papyrus mentioned the previous Royal Scientist who nobody seemed to be able to remember? Had started to call him... “Uncle Gaster?” Clearly this was not the response the person had been expecting, for they jerked back in surprise. But still, they didn’t seem displeased about it. “Why yes. I am, or was, your Uncle Gaster. Also Doctor Gaster if you wish. I do prefer the use of an Honorific, it makes me feel important.” The joke was rather dry, but Sans couldn’t help but chuckle a little anyway. The tension in the air eased a little. “Would you care to see what I’m working on? I’d offer you refreshments of some kind, but I’m afraid I have none at the moment.” Sans and Papyrus followed him further into the cave. Clearly it had once been much smaller, but large parts of the walls had been dug into, making more room available for the tables and lab equipment. Gaster led them towards a particular table where bits of the strangely colored stone from the walls was broken into various pieces and some were being subjected to heat or chemicals. “WOWEE!” said Papyrus as he bent to look at the silvery liquid in a vial suspended over a bunsen burner. “NONE OF THIS WAS HERE WHEN I VISITED THE FIRST TIME!” Gaster smiled, “Yes indeed. I’ve begun to feel more like myself and get back into researching and experimentation.” He looked rather proud of himself, and Sans was struck with the intense feeling of familiarity. He knew this Monster. Knew how how he worked and what the tilt of his head meant, knew how he’d pretend to be finishing up work as they all left for home and then stay for several hours more to continue with some project or another. He understood Gaster as if he’d worked alongside him for years, which according to Papyrus, he probably had. “Looks like you’ve had a bit of a rocky start then,” he quipped with a gestured towards the stone fragments. It had been a moment before he’d managed to come up with a pun for it. Somehow it was getting harder and harder to pop out with them on the spot. It hadn’t been too big a deal at first, after all, he’d spent who knows how long doing the same puns over and over. He’d just assumed he was a little rusty at it. But every day it was a little harder for him to throw them out as quickly as he used to. Though of course he could still come up with jokes and puns at night so that he could use them later during the day. It was just when he was on the spot. Nervousness, that was all. Papyrus groaned and facepalmed but Gaster looked first confused, and then his face broke into a gleeful smile. “Of Quartz, but I managed to get back into things quick enough. I just had to be boulder with my ideas.” Sans doubled over laughing and Papyrus gave a shout of rage. “OH MY GOD! YOU TWO ARE JUST THE WORST! WHY ME!?” “Heh, Sorry Bro.” Sans made no attempt to look even remotely sorry. “So Doc, what is this fancy stone of yours?” Picking up one of the fragments, Gaster placed it under a microscope for them to view. “It’s actually quite fascinating. Though normal viewing of it makes it appear smooth, under close examination you can see the crystalline structure of the stone, which I’ve named K︎e︎n︎ó︎n. And of course the black veins are actually micro fractures in the stone, but instead of weakening it they actually make it much stronger than normal. This is because whenever the stone breaks it releases a blackish substance in an attempt to bind itself to the greater whole, resulting in a much stronger piece of stone than a fragment free from flaws.” Sans bent to gaze into the microscope. He could see the ridges and facets of the tiny crystals and the spiderwebbing of tiny cracks that covered the stone. There was also something else there, something he couldn’t quite pin down about the stuff, but it made him feel odd. But he shrugged the feeling away, from what he remembered, Gaster had always been experimenting with weird stuff and nobody ever got hurt... Except...somehow Gaster himself had vanished, not only from the Underground, but also from everyone’s memories. All records of him were gone or altered or unreadable. Only the things that couldn’t be erased were still around, like the Core, and the DT Extractor... Things that involved other people. Had it been some experiment that had landed the scientist here? Or something else? “My apologies, Papyrus!” exclaimed Gaster after about five minutes of happily talking about his experiments and findings. “I’d completely forgotten to ask if there was a reason for your visit! I’m more than happy to see you at any time, but I had thought that you might try to phone ahead or something.” Papyrus shifted, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “AH YES,” he said and hesitated. This caught Sans’ attention and he drew himself back from the pool of memories he was drudging up from the forgotten past. Paps wasn’t usually nervous about things unless it was serious. “I’VE ACTUALLY COME TO ASK YOUR ADVICE. YOU SEE, I HAVE THIS FRIEND. HE... HE ACTUALLY IS A VERY SMALL GOLDEN FLOWER WHO CAN TALK AND-” Both Sans and Gaster reacted in shock. Sans felt his eye sockets go dark, the white light that normally acted as pupils vanishing in his sudden fear and dread. Gaster on the other hand looked like someone had struck him and he stiffened. “A small golden flower?” the scientist asked, very calmly despite how he was acting physically. “What on earth has the Prince done now?” There was a long moment of silence as both brothers took in those words. In unison they turned on Gaster. “WHAT?!”

#gaster #doctor gaster #wing ding gaster #the great papyrus #sans the skeleton #undertale #undertale au #aeontale #flowey the flower #prince asriel

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snarkwrites · 3 years

Text

01 & 02 | home; juice ortiz.

Notes:

.... and apparently, my brain yearned to write angsty and kind of tragic things. I really haven’t written much for sons of anarchy beyond a few little short things here and there so.. be warned. I’m gonna loosely follow some of the things that happen on the show timeline, but.. this one might take longer to write / post / update because I’m going to try to watch SOA again as I do this. Try being the operative.

So uh.. buckle up?

Also.. I haven’t made a cover for this yet. or a soundtrack. And this is c

Pairing:

Teller Morrow OFC x Juice Ortiz.

Summary:

“Home is where love resides, memories are created, friends always belong, and laughter never ends.” “A house is made of bricks and beams. A home is made of hopes and dreams.” “Home is not a place…it's a feeling.”

“Home is wherever I’m with you.”

Years ago, Hazelynn Teller (Morrow) left Charming behind. She turned her back on everything in search of something.. anything that felt like it fit. But nothing ever did. After a series of events cause her to re-evaluate and she finds herself returning to Charming, can she fix everything she broke when she left?

And again I ask.. why must my summaries suck? I swear this might possibly be better than the summary.

Warnings:

Injury / accident tw - for this chapter only. Mentions of a genetic heart defect / a newborn in NICU. fighting / violence tw - duh, this show was pretty damn violent and there’s no way I can escape having at least some of the major stuff that happened present. slow burn and angst. because people don’t just fall back together and feelings aren’t magically healed. eventual filth. any other triggering things that arise I’ll warn in those chapters. These are just the ones I can think of, immediately, right now.

Other Stuff:

[ faq - tag list doc ]

Tagging:

@brithedemonspawn

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@kyleoreillysknee

@rampagewriting

@sassymox

@twistnet

ONE.

The phone ringing had Jax Teller sitting up in bed. He grimaced at the pounding hangover and he reached for his cellphone, answering.

“Are you family of Hazelynn Teller Morrow?”

“She’s my baby sister, why?” Jax wasn’t getting a good feeling at all. The woman on the other end of the line sounded so formal and her tone was so clipped. Unconcerned. It was his own personal experience that usually, when you got a call like this in the middle of the night, nothing good ever came of it.

What the nurse told him next left him reeling.

“There’s been an accident. She’s been admitted to Santa Monica General. Her daughter is in the NICU.”

“You said Santa Monica General, right?” Jax was sitting up in bed now, trying to get his heart down out of his throat. He was slipping out of bed, grabbing for his jeans on the floor. “Are you sure there isn’t some mistake? My sister, she… She doesn’t have a kid. Not that I’m aware of..” He was hoping against hope that there was a mistake somewhere, but the nurse spoke again.

“Your sister was in labor and on her way here to give birth when the accident occurred. We had to induce labor. Given the state your sister is in, we’re calling the family since we have no way to know who the baby’s father is… Just to err on the side of caution.”

Jax’s stomach rolled. Tara hugged against him from behind. “What’s going on, Jax?”

Jax shushed her, listening to the nurse detail his sister’s injuries and the fact that while they were trying to save his niece she slipped into a coma and had yet to wake up. When he hung up the phone, he swung at a wall.

“Jax?”

“I have to go pick up my mom.” Jax grabbed the keys to his bike and rushed out of the house, firing it up.

The entire drive across town to his mother’s house passed by in a daze. He didn’t even remember what color the stoplight had been when he went through it, only that he was sitting in his mother’s driveway only three and a half minutes later. Rushing to his mom’s front door. Pounding on it to wake her up.

Gemma threw the door open, a brow raised at Jax when she saw him standing on the other side. “Jax?”

“Mom, it’s Hazelynn… The hospital in Santa Monica called me.”

Gemma’s mouth opened only to close again. It was probably one of very few times over the course of his life that Jax Teller had actually seen his mother speechless. Or about to cry.

“What happened? Jax, talk to me. Talk to me now.” Gemma demanded, her voice shaky. Jax took a few deep breaths and put his arms around his mother, explaining what the nurse told him when she’d called. Gemma’s tears started to fall and she bolted back into the house, shaking Clay awake.

Clay grumbled at the early hour but sat up.

Looking as if he’d vomit as Jax repeated everything the nurse told him for a second time that night.

“I’ll drive. Neither of you are in the shape.” Clay was up and getting dressed on auto pilot, stopping at one point to question, “They say whether she had anybody there with her?”

“The whole reason the nurse is calling family is because she was coming to the hospital alone because she’d gone into labor. They can’t track down a father.”

“Oh, I’ll find the bastard.”

“Clay…”

“I’m not kidding Gemma.” Clay’s fists clenched and he took a few deep breaths.

“We’ll just get there and assess the situation. Go from there. She needs us.” Gemma gave Clay a firm look of warning and it seemed to get him reasonably calm.

The next few hours were sitting in silence in a waiting room. Endless pots of shitty break room coffee. Gemma jumping every time someone coded.

And finally, around 9 am, a doctor got around to them.

Hazelynn was awake. And her vitals seemed steady.

“Can we go back to see her?”

“In an hour. We want to make sure she’s up to it.”

“What about my niece?”

“One at a time. I’ll send a nurse over to get you prepped to go down to NICU.” The doctor promised, setting off to go and track down a nurse.

The nurse showed up a few minutes later and Gemma stood, the shock starting to subside but only slightly. As they walked back to the NICU nursery, the nurse told Gemma that they’d detected a heart defect and Gemma explained that both herself and her granddaughter’s uncle suffered from similar.

“We’re not supposed to let anyone back here that isn’t a parent until 8 pm.. But given the circumstance…”

Gemma thanked her and stepped into the room, taking a seat in the chair in the corner. The nurse brought over her granddaughter and Gemma took her in her arms.

“Oh sweetie. Everything is going to be okay.”

But Gemma was afraid. So very afraid.

XXX

“ You don’t have to leave town, Haze.”

It was the last thing my brother said to me. He’d hugged me. Then my mom hugged me and wiped at her eyes. Made me promise a thousand times to call and come back to visit. I promised her I would, even though I knew deep down I’d be limiting myself to calls only.

If I went home to visit, I might not ever leave again.

And I didn’t want to be like all the other girls I went to school with, settling down and settling for whatever came their way.

I left town with all these big ambitions and plans. And one by one, life knocked them right out from beneath me. Life tried again and again to break me but I was too stubborn to be broken.

But this last blow.. This last blow was too much.

The nurse came in to check on me and the first thing I demanded was to know if my daughter was alright. The second and a half it took the nurse to tell me that my daughter was alive and currently down in NICU was the longest second and a half of my entire life and the second I heard the nurse tell me that my daughter was alive and I hadn’t lost her, I broke.

Sobbing. Grateful.

If I’d lost her… I shoved the thought out because I just couldn’t.

“Wait.. NICU… What’s wrong with her? What’s wrong with my baby?”

“The doctors detected a heart defect.”

I took a shaky breath. I’d been warned by my mom that there was a possibility that any children I had could end up with the heart defect, even though it managed to skip over me. At my last checkup, my doctor had been concerned about the genetic heart defect present in my brother and my mother. Nothing had shown up in any of the tests they’d been able to do at that point, so I’d been hopeful.

I nodded. Taking a few deep breaths. Moving to sit but wincing when a wave of pain washed over me.

The door to my private room opened and my brother stepped in. My birth father Clay standing behind him.

Jax rushed over to the bed, putting my legs back into it. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m going to see my daughter. I.. She needs me, Jax.”

“She needs you healthy, darlin.” Clay spoke up quietly.

Awkwardly, I let him hug me. Things had always been tense between us. More so when the truth came out that he was my actual father. It had thrown my entire life in a tailspin back then and while I’m not proud to admit it at all, I’d went full on rebellious. Refusing to acknowledge him.

But he’d kept trying.

“I couldn’t even keep myself from crashing a fucking car. I failed already. She could’ve died.” I was full on sobbing now as everything hit me. I looked from Jax to Clay and asked quietly, “Where’s mom?” I.. Need to see her.”

“Your mom’s down in NICU.” Clay explained, doing his best to give me a reassuring look. Wincing at the way my forehead was stitched. “Least you got the Morrow hard head, huh?” he tried to joke. Jax gave him a warning look, but rather than stubbornly refuse to go along with it like I used to in all of Clay’s past attempts to bond with me over the years, all I could do this time was nod. Mutter quietly, “Thank god.”

My brother cleared his throat.

“What about the father?”

“What about him? He’s married. Dropped me like a bad habit when he found out I wasn’t getting rid of the baby. Only after he tried to pay me off.”

Jax’s fist clenched and I shook my head. “I’m better off… I.. I mean I think I am.” my words fell away and I leaned my head back against the pillow behind me gingerly.

“You didn’t have any friends you could get to drive you?” Clay questioned. I shook my head, not bothering to open my eyes. “I’d just moved here. I was.. Working up the nerve to come home. I didn’t really know anybody.”

“So the kid’s dad is elsewhere?” Clay questioned further. I could just tell by his tone that he was already thinking of the best way to make the situation right. To make the father of my child pay for being an actual piece of shit.

“Clay, whatever you’re thinking, don’t. Leave it alone, sir. Not everybody has to pay for their wrongs your way. The bastard will regret it one day when she grows up and she’s amazing and she didn’t need him. I don’t want the guy near me.”

It didn’t stop the look in his eyes and I sighed. Appealing to the last card I held that I thought might work. “If you care about me at all and you still want to be a part of my life, sir.. You’ll leave this alone. I just… I want to put it behind me.”

I let out a ragged breath and searched his eyes. When he seemed to relax and grumble while shaking his head, I relaxed. It felt as if he were going to let it go as I asked. Maybe going away had changed things just a little.

Jax spoke up quietly.

“ You scared the fuck out of me.”

“Try being me.” I muttered quietly, letting my brother hug me, holding on just a little tighter.

The door to my room opened again and my mother stepped in. She didn’t look like the same carefully put together woman I remembered. She looked like she was drained. Scared to death.

Suddenly, I wanted to go back in time and punch my younger self in the throat. How could I have ever thought that just because I was a reminder of the affair my mom started with Clay Morrow before Jax’s father passed away that she cared less.. Or that me being around was just painful for her to begin with?

I felt worse than I’ve ever felt before.

Jax stopped my mom, asking if she thought they’d let him go back and sit with my daughter. My mom led him back out in the hallway, probably to go find the NICU nurse on duty and find out the answer, and this left me and my birth father alone together.

“I know we never got along real good, kid.”

“I’m sorry.” I blurted it out before he could say anything else. “I was messed up, okay? The way it came out… The way it made everyone fight… I just.. I don’t know.” I dropped my gaze to the thin white blanket over my legs and Clay sighed.

“If you want to come home… It’d make more sense, I’d think. Gonna be damn hard to help out with my grandkid when you’re all the way in Santa Monica. And I’m not about to let my daughter take all this on by herself. We clear, Red?”

I mulled it over. It wasn’t something I’d already been heavily leaning towards for the better part of a month now. I’d just been too scared to pull the trigger and do it.

“Yes sir.” I answered, managing a smile.

My mom stepped into the room, door shutting behind her quietly.

“I cannot wait until you are away from this hospital. Do you know how fucking difficult it is to get anybody to answer a simple question?” my mom muttered, leaning down, hugging me tight. Fussing over a stitch on my forehead, grumbling “They didn’t even attempt to close this properly. I’ve seen bikers at Sturgis do a better sew up.” and making me laugh. Just a little.

She pulled away from the hug and brushed some hair away from my forehead. “Sweetie, I..” she started to say something but I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Mom. For everything.”

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t know you felt the way you felt until your brother threw it up right after you left. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I couldn’t.”

“Don’t start crying.” my mom was reaching for a tissue, gingerly dabbing it at my eyes. “The important thing is it’s behind us. Okay?”

I nodded.

“You’re moving back to Charming.”

Normally, my mother making demands would’ve set me on edge. But I wasn’t that same angry rebellious girl anymore. And deep down, I was starting to realize just how much I loved and needed my family, especially right now.

Warts and all.

“Okay.” I managed a weak smile.

“Was she okay?” I asked quietly after another tight hug that had me wincing just a little and reminding her gently that I was one giant ache. My mom smiled and nodded. “She’s as beautiful as you, sweetie. And despite the family flaw striking again, I think she’s a fighter already. Have you got a name?”

“ Emma Sophia.”

My mom smiled at that. I figured she would because Emma was basically just Gemma, shortened. And Sophia in tribute to all the old movies she used to make me sit through with her when I was younger, after an actress named Sophia Loren.

“I like that, sweetie.”

When she was sure Clay wasn’t actively listening, she whispered quietly, “And the father?”

“Is not an issue. Nor will he ever be one. I got him to sign away paternal rights.”

“You’re sure.” My mom asked again and I nodded. “He was married, mom, I... “ I trailed off, waiting for a lecture. Instead, my mom sighed and nodded. “It’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

And for the first time in years, I really believed she was right. Maybe everything really would be okay now.

The doctor came in to check on me again and check my vitals and after doing that, he turned to address my mother and Clay.

“Mother and baby’s vitals are holding strong and steady. I’d say that if the pattern continues, we can release Mother by the weekend.”

“What about my baby?” I spoke up quickly.

“We want to keep your daughter for observation. I’d say at least another two weeks.”

I took a few deep breaths, starting to panic a little. Wanting to cry. My mom grabbed hold of my hand and repeated calmly, “Everything will be fine. They kept your brother just as long.”

I nodded, even though the thought still scared the hell out of me.

TWO.

The Welcome to Charming sign passed by and I smiled a little. Emma was sleeping in the carrier. I was almost home.

And hopeful.

Just as I turned down the road my mom lived on, my cell phone buzzed. I switched the call so that it went through my radio to answer.

“ Exactly how big is too big for a stuffed animal?” Jax asked and I groaned, shaking my head at the question. “What have you done, Jax?”

“There was a unicorn.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.. Remember that one Clay won you when you were twelve? This one makes two of that one.”

“Where the fuck am I putting this?”

My mom spoke up from the background. “We got it in the nursery. Barely. I told your brother he’s not allowed near the stuffed animals anymore.”

“In my defense ma, it’s my niece.”

I parked behind the motorcycles lining my mother’s driveway. Tensing just a little when I recognized Juice’s Dyna Glide parked next to Tig’s motorcycle.

And as soon as I saw him, it was like everything froze. I wasn’t ready to face him. Especially not when I considered that it felt like someone had just knocked the breath right out of me. As I walked past him, I didn’t dare look over.

I couldn’t do it, no matter how badly every part of me wanted to. My brother and Opie came over, arguing about the unicorn, Opie nearly lifting me off the ground in a hug. I reached back into the car, killing the engine and shutting the driver door. Making my way to the backseat and unbuckling the carrier.

“Awww. She’s even got the same chubby little cheeks, man.” Opie chuckled, elbowing Jax who nodded. I smiled and as soon as Emma started to wake up and cry, I dug around in my diaper bag for the bottle I’d pumped for her at a rest stop.

Sitting the carrier on the trunk of the car, I unfastened Emma, pulling her out.

Instantly drawing over at least ten gigantic bikers. Watching them fuss over her had me laughing and smiling a little.

Juice hung back. Leaning against the tree in the yard with a tire swing. Watching. Like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to come over with everyone else.. Near me. Or whether he wanted to just leave.

When he started to make his way over after Chibs stopped to whisper something in his ear, I swallowed hard. The guys had gone back to the grill set up behind the house by now. It pretty much left me sitting in the passenger seat of my car finishing up feeding Emma. Humming softly as I did so.

Humming what used to be the song that Juice and I dubbed ‘our song’.

“Visiting? I’m surprised your man let you come by yourself.”

I glanced up at Juice, taking a deep breath. Bracing myself for all the anger and bitterness I thought I’d find waiting in his gaze. Surprised when all I found instead was concern. Maybe a little hurt.

But deeper down, the same way he always used to look at me.

“Juice..” I started, but I went quiet. I didn’t know what to say. There was so much I wanted to say but it was probably beyond too late for that.

More than anything, I wished I had a rewind button.

What if I hadn’t left town? Ran from the way I felt about everything back then?

“I had a while to get over it.” he muttered, gazing at me. Going quiet. “Jax told me why you had to go. I fuckin hated it, but I had a while to get over it.”

I nodded.

Somehow I got the feeling that he was pretending it didn’t kill him. To save face.

Kind of exactly like I was right now.

“You could’ve said somethin, ya know?”

“Juice..”

He shook his head and took a deep breath. Leaning against my car. Staring up at the bright blue of the sky overhead. “It’s over and done with though.”

My stomach churned. I wasn’t sure if what he was saying was a good or a bad thing. Seeing him again after all this time, I wasn’t even sure I wanted it to be over.

Because when I left it all behind, I hadn’t just left behind a family that actually loved me, I’d left him behind too.

And looking at him now. With a more adult perspective… I suddenly found myself wondering if leaving him behind had been the biggest mistake of my life…

“Do you want to hold her?”

Juice eyed me but nodded, reaching out for her. “Hey pretty girl.” he muttered, smiling a little. After he held her for a few minutes, he placed her back in my arms.

And as he did so, the touch lingered as we locked eyes.

“I missed you.” I hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

“I barely survived.” Juice answered, biting his lip as if he wanted to say something else. He turned and walked away and I spent a few minutes trying to pull myself back together again.

It had been harder seeing him again after all this time than I thought.

Harder to resist him. Harder to shove down the surge of emotions. Harder to try not to think about just how much I still loved him and harder to swallow the fact that by now, it was probably too late.

I got the feeling that it was only going to get so much harder.

And I sighed, because every part of me wanted to hold out hope that there was still something there but I had to accept the fact that I’d probably lit a match and set everything on fire when I left town back then. That there wasn’t any hope to be had.

That Juice was done with me.

And that hurt more than I was prepared for.

I shoved it all out of my head, wandering over to where my mom sat. Giving Tara some serious side eye.

“He had to bring her.” my mom was glaring in Tara’s general direction. Rolling her eyes as Tara carried Abel around. Everything Tara Knowles did annoyed my mom. That much hadn’t changed at all.

“In his defense, mom, she’s kind of his old lady.” I pointed out quietly. Taking a sip of the pink lemonade she’d pushed in my direction.

My mom shrugged, grumbling under her breath. Probably something to the effect of she wouldn’t be if my mom had her way about it. I sat down next to her at the picnic table and she peeked in the sling I had Emma strapped into. “Hey sweetie.” she cooed.

Emma grinned up at her, sleepy eyed. After a few seconds, my mom spoke up.

“Speaking of old ladies… If you’re wondering. Juice doesn’t have one.”

“Mom, I.. we both know I ruined everything there when I left.” I sighed, shaking my head no. Trying to cut whatever crazy idea she was formulating out before it took hold. Somehow I got the feeling that it was too late for that. My mom, being the meddling mom she’s known to be at times, she was going to try to shove me right through the ‘healing process’ over the end of my last breakup.

My mom shrugged, shaking her head. Quick to protest, “You never know.”

I didn’t say anything. For one thing, I was trying to get my head around my mom seeming to push me towards Juice. I hadn’t really thought she liked him all that much back then. I know Clay didn’t particularly care for him.

XXX

Juice wasn’t listening to a word Chibs said. Chibs caught sight of the direction he was staring in and he chuckled to himself, nudging Juice in the side, nodding in Hazelynn’s direction. “Go over n’ try t’ talk.”

Juice shook his head. “Every time I think about it, I remember that she’s the one who thought she was too good for any of this and left. Without a good bye. What’s done is done. I wasn’t good enough for her then, why do I wanna be good enough for her now, huh?”

“Maybe it wasn’t that at all.” Chibs butted in. Grumbling as he took a drag of his cigarette. The kid wasn’t listening. He wasn’t stopping to think about everything that unfolded prior to Hazelynn’s decision to leave. Chibs went quiet. He knew better than to try reasoning with the kid. Juice was a hard headed little shit.

“Look at me, Chibs. We both know it was.” Juice insisted, shaking his head sadly. “I tried to be good enough man.. I just fuckin wasn’t.”

Chibs brushed off the statement, putting it down to Juice’s recent downward mood swing and tension. The guy had been down about a lot lately. Like he had a million things on his mind. If Chibs ever tried to bring it up, Juice dismissed it. Stating he didn’t want to talk about it.

Juice bit his lip. Staring at Hazelynn. Sighing as he stubbed out the cigarette he’d been smoking. Every part of him was still drawn to her. If he could, he’d go over. He’d tell her that he still loved her, he’d never stopped.

But there was so much going on right now.

The biggest part of it being the secret he was being forced to keep. Just the thought of the betrayal he was currently being forced to carry out against men he thought of as brothers was enough to have him tensing up all over again. Any second, they’d figure out it was him. None of the guys in Samcro were that stupid. Even the ones who acted like they were.

Sooner or later, everything would come out.

And Juice Ortiz was living with the weight of that dread and his secrets and decision every single day.

,, I just have to stay away. Keepin her at arms length is keepin her safe.” the solemn thought weighed heavily and he tore his eyes off of her.

Somehow, he got the feeling that would be easier said than done.

#juice ortiz fanfiction #juice ortiz fanfic #juice ortiz fic #my writing ; juice ortiz #my fics ; juice ortiz #my fanfiction ; juice ortiz #// HEAVY ANGST WARNING #injury / accident tw

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haught-n-cold-gay · 4 years

Text

“it’d be easier if i hated you”

a wynonna earp fic you can read here on a03

summary:

“Thought I’d visit my favorite sexy ex-enemy.” Rosita smiled as they pulled apart until she saw Wynonna’s face up close. Her eyebrows furrowed before she reached out and gently touched her cheek. “Are you sleeping? Eating?” “Who are you, my mom?” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a brat, Earp.” Wynonna gasped playfully. “Me? Never.” _._._

Wynonna can't help but visit Rosita in the nunnery. She doesn't know why she keeps seeing her or talking to her or why she wants to kiss her, but she's willing to figure it out.

part i

“Thanks for saving my ass.”

Wynonna let out a soft, almost embarrassed, chuckle. “It’d be a shame not to.”

A smile flashed across Rosita’s annoyingly perfect face and for a moment, Wynonna swore that Rosita was looking at her, like really looking at her, and she felt the urge to reiterate her promise that she was going to get her out of there, no matter what. Even if she was going to be stuck surrounded by horny nuns.

“Wynonna…” Rosita closed the space between them, forcing time to freeze as their eyes locked. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

She felt the warmth radiate off of the gorgeous woman and nodded stiffly, not wanting to admit to her that she hadn’t been ‘okay’ in a long time. Maybe ever. She didn’t even know the feeling. Not really.

“I’ve got my trusty gun again, so…”

Rosita raised her eyebrows. “You’re more than your gun, Wynonna. You always have been.”

Wynonna broke the eye-contact. She had to. She had told herself for so long that being the Heir made her something. Made her worthy. Made her a hero. Losing her gun made her feel like she was nothing. And here Rosita was telling her that she was more than the gun.

“Hey.” Rosita grabbed her hand and pulled her even closer (God, Wynonna couldn’t ignore how good she smelled) and whispered, “I’m here if you need me. Literally. I can’t leave. Come by anytime.”

Wynonna swallowed the lump in her throat and looked down at her hand that was being held by Rosita’s. She didn’t want to cry, not in front of her.

“I’ve got to go,” she breathed out, unable to even glance at her as she pulled her hand away. “Keep that fine ass of yours safe for me, alright?”

Rosita snorted and muttered under her breath, “this ass is yours if you want it.”

Wynonna pretended she didn’t hear that. She just ran toward the celestial green light, never looking back. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. She didn’t know what she would do if she did.

part ii

One week later.

Wynonna didn’t know why she was back so soon. She didn’t have a solution for Rosita (she barely had the chance to tell the team about Rosita and the situation the ex-Revenant was in), but here she was. Dark circles under her eyes and demons screaming inside of her, she walked into the nunnery she spent the last few days trying to find through her sister’s copious notes about the buildings on the edge of Purgatory since there wasn’t a mystical green light to transport her there.

At first, Wynonna thought that Rosita was missing amidst the group of nuns, but then she heard her laugh. Wynonna did a double-take. Rosita was in the center of the cluster of nuns, wearing the tunic or robe or whatever the hell nuns wear.

The Heir gulped. She was severely startled by how Rosita in the nun outfit was doing things to her (then again, Rosita could probably wear anything and it’d do things to her). Her mouth felt a little dry and she tried to take a deep breath and remind herself of the real reason why she was here. The only problem was: she didn’t know why the fuck she was here.

“Wynonna? You’re here!” Rosita shouted and pushed past a bunch of annoyed looking nuns. She was running at her and Wynonna’s heart just pounded faster and faster until Rosita’s arms were wrapped around her and Wynonna could breathe her in. And truth was, Wynonna couldn’t remember the last time she was hugged and felt warm.

“Thought I’d visit my favorite sexy ex-enemy.”

Rosita smiled as they pulled apart until she saw Wynonna’s face up close. Her eyebrows furrowed before she reached out and gently touched her cheek.

“Are you sleeping? Eating?”

“Who are you, my mom?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a brat, Earp.”

Wynonna gasped playfully. “Me? Never.”

Rosita punched her shoulder lightly, as if she realized that Wynonna was not willing to talk about whatever was going on with her. “Okay, Ms. Sarcasm.”

“Besides, you’re one to talk. You look like a nun.”

“Well, I do live in a nunnery. And it’s not like there are clothes for me to wear. Want to head to my room?”

Wynonna’s eyes widened, completely out of surprise. “Your room? Are you a dessert before dinner kinda gal?”

“Totally, but I was just thinking of a place we could talk where we won’t be heard.” She nodded toward the group of huddled nuns who were watching them like freaky hawks. Wynonna shivered. Nuns had always freaked her out, but this was even scarier.

“Right, show me the way, m’lady.” Wynonna mentally hit herself for acting so dorky. She’d never consider herself a Shakespeare, but she normally wasn’t an idiotic geek. She coughed and tried to shake away any weird feelings.

(And she tried really hard to not look at Rosita’s ass in the nun outfit as she followed her to the weapon room they killed that fucking demon nun.) (She failed.)

“So… you have your own room? Kinda thought you’d be all in one room, orgy parties every night.”

Rosita closed the door to her ‘bedroom’ and laughed. “We don’t have orgy parties every night. They like being all together and I… need my space, you know?”

The room was still filled with weapons, but in the middle of the room there was a small mattress, a few blankets, and a pillow. It was a nicer situation than Wynonna’s.

“I definitely do know. It’s why I’m living in a damn barn.”

Rosita flopped onto the mattress, grinning as she tried to land in a ‘sexy’ position. “So I’ve got better digs?”

Wynonna couldn’t help but laugh at whatever the fuck Rosita was doing. “Considering you live in a nunnery, I’m not so sure. Living with an engaged couple and teenager versus judgy nuns. Now that’s a conundrum.”

Rosita raised her eyebrows. “Engaged, huh? Waverly and Nicole are tying the knot?”

Wynonna was trying to read her tone. “Hard feelings?”

She cringed and crinkled her nose. “Waverly told you?”

“About your drunken kiss of shame? Yeppers.” She grinned at her, noticing the embarrassment flooding her face. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Seriously. She and Haught totally made up and all that good shit. Obvs, they’re getting hitched. Besides, kissing someone you’re not supposed to is kinda my thang. So no judgment coming from me.”

“And you and Doc?”

That was the absolute last thing she wanted to talk about. Not because Rosita and Doc were a thing, but because Doc had left her. He was ‘disappointed’ in her. As if she needed more fucking shame in her goddamn life.

“I’m not good enough for him,” she finally confessed, in more of a whisper than she had intended it to be. “Even with Alice, I’m not enough.”

Rosita opened her mouth but then closed it. She moved over to one side of the mattress and patted the empty side. “C’mere.”

“What?” She let out a nervous chuckle and crossed her arms.

Rosita narrowed her eyes at her. “I’m not going to rip your clothes off, Wynonna, unless you want me to. C’mon. Lay with me.”

Wynonna gaped at her slightly, a little bewildered by what was happening. She thought about turning around and leaving, but it had been a long time since someone wanted to be near her. Wanted to comfort her. Okay, maybe that wasn’t true. Waverly was always there to do those things. But this was different and Wynonna couldn’t tell why.

Ignoring all the warning bells going off in her head, she slowly made her way toward the mattress and sat down on it. It was awkward as fuck. Too awkward. Rosita placed a hand on Wynonna’s back and she flinched away from her touch like the ex-Revenant’s fingers were scorching. She stood up suddenly, feeling the urge to throw up.

“Wynonna… I’m sorry…”

“No, I’m sorry.” She started to walk backward, back toward the door. “I… have to go. I just remembered, I need to be somewhere.”

“I—okay. I can walk you out—”

“I’m good,” Wynonna shouted and escaped as fast as possible, practically running out of the room and out to the exit. The felt stupid running, but she couldn’t imagine being inside of there for another second.

part iii

Three weeks later.

She was fucking back. With bags in her hand. And whiskey. Fuck.

She had come to the entrance of the nunnery more than nine times in the last three weeks, but she just couldn’t walk inside. She wanted to, she wanted to apologize for being a fucking weirdo, but she couldn’t get her feet to move.

(For a week she had even convinced herself she couldn’t step inside because she was so unholy, so full of sin.)

It was late and she had already been standing outside for a ridiculous amount of time. She was turning into an icicle, but she still couldn’t get her feet working. It was fucked up, she knew. She didn’t even know why she kept coming back, why she even went to see Rosita three weeks ago, why she had reacted so terribly to her touch. Nobody seemed to want to touch her anymore. Not Waverly (who was spending all her time with Nicole), not Jeremy (who was obsessed with planning the Wayhaught wedding), not Rachel (who had been looking at her strangely ever since she found out she killed Holt), and definitely Doc (who avoided her like the plague). And yet when Rosita wanted to touch her…

“Fuck it.”

Wynonna opened the large door to find Rosita sitting there in the last pew, right in front of her.

“I was wondering if you were ever going to enter.”

Shit. “You saw me out there?”

Rosita tilted her head, her ponytail swinging along with it. “I saw you come and go for the last three weeks. It’s like when someone texts you and you see little dots come and go. I thought you were going to leave me on read.”

Wynonna snorted as if it was crazy (it wasn’t). “Definitely wasn’t going to ghost you.”

Rosita hummed. “Sure. What’s in the bags?”

The Heir furrowed her eyebrows. “You’re not going to ask why I didn’t come inside for three weeks?”

She smirked at her. “Do you want me to ask you why you didn’t come inside for three weeks?”

“Fuck no.” Wynonna sniffled and held up the bags for her. “Clothes for you. Y’know. So you don’t have to keep wearing the nun uniform.”

“You don’t think it’s sexy?” Rosita stood up and did a little twirl for her in the aisle.

Wynonna’s eyes were glued to Rosita’s body and she felt heat pool around her body. “You know I find you frustratingly sexy. So if you don’t want the clothes…”

Rosita grabbed the bags from Wynonna’s hands. “This thing is fucking itchy.”

Catching Wynonna off-guard, the woman started ripping the robe off until she was only in her bra and underwear. Wynonna didn’t even have the chance to turn around (not that she wanted to) and blushed furiously when Rosita asked her: “like what you see?” Somehow, it got worse when Rosita put on the clothes.

“Are these your clothes?” Rosita inspected the ripped black jeans and cropped Blondie t-shirt. “They smell like you.”

Wynonna was a little breathless as she looked at Rosita wearing her clothes. She thought it was a good idea at the time, but this was driving her crazy seeing her like this. She couldn’t stop looking her up and down, imagining her own hands all over her and—

She cleared her throat. “Well, I wasn’t going to spend money.”

Rosita snorted. “I appreciate it.”

Wynonna shrugged like it was no big (it was a huge deal). “I brought whiskey.”

“You know how to please a girl. Do you mind if we head to the bedroom? The others aren’t really thrilled at the idea of drinking. For being wild in the sack they’re pretty lame about everything else.”

The thought of going back into that room sent chills down Wynonna’s spine, but she didn’t say anything. She wanted to get over herself. Get over whatever the fuck that happened in that room that sent her over the edge.

Rosita seemed to notice her nerves since she left the door open when they got in the weaponry room and sat down on the floor, not on the unkempt bed in the middle of the floor. It helped Wynonna breathe easier.

Once she sat down a good five feet away from her ex-enemy, the Heir pulled the whiskey out of her pocket and took a swig. It didn’t calm her down as much as she thought it would, but it was a good start. She passed it off to Rosita who took a good sip.

“Tell me everything that happened after I left,” Rosita commanded suddenly and passed the bottle back to her.

“You mean after you tried to kidnap my baby?” Wynonna was still bitter, even if she did forgive her.

Rosita chewed her lip guiltily. “Yeah, after that.”

That was a bad time. Not all of it, but most of it. She didn’t know what Rosita wanted to hear. It wasn’t like she could tell her how hard it was to send Alice away and how darkness started to become her comfort zone. How she could barely get out of bed. How it only got worse when Dolls died and she realized she probably loved him (and that he probably loved her more than anyone else ever would or could).

So instead, she stuck to things that were easy to talk about.

“Waverly and Nicole got closer, obviously. Jeremy fell in love with this guy who is gone now, for reasons that Jeremy won’t get into. I ended the Earp curse and got stuck in a garden, losing a year and a half of my life.” Wynonna drank.

Rosita frowned. “Dolls?”

“Dead.”

She lowered her head and shook it. “I’m so sorry, Wynonna. I know how much you two cared about each other.”

“Yeah, well. That’s what happens when you care about me.”

“Stop,” Rosita told her intensely. “We both know BBD killed Dolls.”

Wynonna shrugged (knowing that Rosita was right but didn’t want to admit it—she liked to wallow in self-pity from time to time). “I feel like I’m a walking catastrophe. It’s why I had to send Alice away. Being around me—”

“You mean being around your life? You got fucked with the whole ‘heir’ thing. Your life is dangerous because of your curse and the town you live in. It’s not you.”

Wynonna felt the tears bubble up. “But what if it is me?”

Rosita sighed. “But what if it isn’t? C’mon. Tell me about the good things. The funny things. The things that keep you going. I’m barely living here, so I need to live through something. C’mon. Tell me one good thing.”

Wynonna knew Rosita was trying to guilt-trip her into telling her something that would make her feel better, but she told her the first thing that came to her mind anyway. “Haught… she’s my best friend, apparently. My first best friend. She’s my best friend even though I told a huge gnome man to marry her instead of me.”

“You didn’t want to marry a gnome? That’s shocking. Please, tell me more. How did this gnome find you? Was he at least cute?”

A freaking smile emerged from Wynonna’s lips. She hadn’t really smiled in the last couple of weeks. It felt weird, but good. She didn’t know if she deserved to feel good, but around Rosita, she felt like she lost control.

So, when Rosita begged her to continue, she did. And after that, Rosita told her something funny about her time on the rocks. And after that, they just swapped stories until Wynonna’s eyes drooped and the ex-Revenant advised her to go home.

And that’s just what Wynonna did. But as she went home, the only thing she could think about was how she just wanted to stay.

part iv

Three days later.

When Wynonna opened the doors, she didn’t hesitate this time. Three nights ago was the best night she had in weeks. Maybe even months. Even if that meant being around Rosita brought up emotions she had been trying to push down.

She had another bag with her today. Food. And when she entered, the nuns darted toward her. Wynonna quickly realized that bringing food was probably not a smart thing to do. She had to zigzag through the group of nuns and headed for Rosita’s bedroom. She knocked on the door and hoped, definitely didn’t pray, that she wouldn’t be walking in on a sex fest.

Wynonna didn’t know if she was glad or not that Rosita was all clothed when she opened the door. Rosita was wearing one of her baggy t-shirts she gave her, with a Velvet Revolver album on the front.

“You’re back and no three week wait? What did I do to deserve this?”

Wynonna held up the bag of food. “I’m not sure, I almost just got mauled by a bunch of fucking nuns.”

Rosita moved aside so that the other woman could enter her room. “They are ruthless. You brought me food? Is this a date, Wynonna Earp?”

Wynonna blushed at Rosita’s smirk (she didn’t know why she was suddenly starting to get flushed when she never had before). “I don’t go on dates.”

“You brought me food looking like that. It’s a date.”

Wynonna looked down at her outfit, confused. She was wearing her normal half see-through shirt and leather pants. She would have worn this even if she wasn’t going to see Rosita. Probably. Okay, maybe she put on the shirt just before she left, but…

“You’re acting like you don’t know that you’re totally hot. Okay, fine, be humble, Wynonna Earp. But owning up to your sexiness is definitely more attractive.”

Her heart raced, but she tried to reign herself in. “Eat the food I bought you, idiot.”

“Happily, Wynonna,” Rosita said and grabbed the bag out of her hand. She started to rummage through the bags until she looked up at the Heir and smiled. “Breakfast, huh? You really know the way to a girl’s heart.”

“I got pancakes and waffles. Didn’t know which one you’d like, so I just—”

“If you don’t have a preference, we can just share them.” Rosita sat down onto the ground and started to pull the boxes out of the bag like they were going to have a picnic. “Are you going to eat with me or are you just going to stand there and watch?”

Wynonna chewed her cheek. She came here with food, so she didn’t know why she was so surprised that Rosita was wanting to eat with her. She came here wanting to spend time with her, knowing it was easier to spend time with her than it was to spend time with anyone else, but she wasn’t quite expecting for Rosita to welcome her with open arms. She was spinning with absolute confusion.

“Earp, sit your ass down.”

She swallowed it. All her fucking fear. And sat down.

“Are you going to leave any syrup for me?” Wynonna asked her, trying to be playful because it was easier than being anything else with Rosita.

“I am no syrup hog,” Rosita stated and passed her the tub of syrup and watched carefully as Wynonna poured it all over her pancake and waffle. “But I have a suspicion that you are.”

Wynonna gasped dramatically. “No, I’m not! I use the right amount of syrup.”

“I can literally hear your waffle and pancake screaming because they’re drowning right now.”

“Oh, please. This is the normal amount of syrup need—holy motherfucking shit, dude! You put butter on your pancakes?”

Rosita raised an eyebrow. “Um, doesn’t everyone?”

“No! Everyone does not! Butter tastes like nothing with syrup on it.”

“Yeah, it probably doesn’t taste like anything when you drown your pancakes in syrup! I’m sure butter would taste like nothing for you.”

Wynonna shook her head, completely astonished. “You are a monster, Rosita Bustillos.”

“Correction, Wynonna Earp, I used to be a monster. Now I’m just a lame old mortal human who can’t step outside of church without completely disappearing and heading to Hell for the entire rest of my existence.”

Wynonna gaped at her slightly. She had tried so hard to keep things light and fun. She should have known that too much had happened to each other for things to not get heavy. They were two very cursed women with very cursed lives. Destined to be enemies, but here they were, sharing pancakes and waffles.

“Even without the curse, you think you’re going to hell?”

Rosita looked down at her food and shrugged. “Might be living in a nunnery, Earp, but there’s nothing about me that’s saint-like.”

“Eh, saintliness is overrated.”

She looked up and stared into Wynonna’s eyes. “There should be a different place for people like us. Good people who have done shitty things to survive. Or in your case, to keep your loved ones alive.”

Suddenly, the food felt like sludge in her stomach. “We already live in Purgatory, Rosita.”

“I know,” she muttered and shook her head. “I’m just saying.”

Wynonna nodded. “I know.”

Rosita bit her lip. “You don’t belong in hell, Wynonna.”

“Neither do you.”

Rosita raised her eyebrows as if she was surprised that Wynonna would ever say such a thing. “Well, then, fuck it. Let’s become some goddamn ghosts and haunt this place. Scare nuns for the rest of our existence.”

A snort fell out of Wynonna’s lips. “You would spend the rest of your existence with me? You don’t even know if I snore.”

“You are so much better than all the Revenants I’ve had to spend eternities with. Besides, the kind of shit we’d get into? It’d be fun. And besides, you’re not terrible being around. We could make it work, don’t you think?”

Wynonna couldn’t stop gaping at her. Rosita was smiling slightly, like this imaginary future of the two of them made her actually excited and warm (in the same way that the Heir was impossibly feeling). And in that moment, Wynonna remembered. Remembered that Rosita was beautiful. Not just sexy and hot desireable, but beautiful. She had noticed when she met Rosita for the first time at the bar. Rosita wasn’t just this amazingly sexy and smart person, she was kind and bright and filled Wynonna up with feelings she hadn’t recognized. For a long time, she thought it was jealousy. But now…

She pushed it down. In the long run, it didn’t matter if Wynonna loved Rosita’s smile and her laugh and the way she could make Wynonna do both of those things with only a few words or look. Because this, whatever the fuck this was, she was sure that Rosita didn’t look at her the same way. Rosita couldn’t. She knew this better than she knew anything. No one ever looked at her that way. Except maybe Dolls (but that didn’t end well for anyone).

She cleared her throat. “Yeah, maybe. I’d have to return to the homestead in my ghost form to check out my sister’s kids and grandkids. Make sure they don’t have sticks up their asses.”

Rosita snickered. “Waverly and Nicole might be the most overprotective parents in the world.”

“Those poor kids.”

“Lucky, though.”

“The luckiest.”

As if Rosita somehow knew Wynonna’s mind was now on Alice, she said, “I never thought I wanted kids. I mean, it was a typical thing for women to do but I… I didn’t want them. Until I couldn’t have them.”

Wynonna’s heart broke. “When you became a Revenant.”

“Yep. All because of fucking Wyatt Earp. No offense.”

She shook her head. “I know he’s a dick, don’t worry about it.”

Rosita smiled softly. “I’m going to change the subject right now. Tell me. What shows have I missed standing on a rock and living in a nunnery?”

The Heir was incredibly happy for the change in subject. “Apparently there’s this new show everyone’s been talking about, Fleabag. Still haven’t seen it yet. Still catching up on Lucifer.”

“Now that’s one cast I would like to smash,” Rosita joked through mouthfuls of waffle. “But only as their characters.”

“You’re talking about Maze, aren’t you?”

“Hell yeah,” Rosita said and winked. “But also Amenadiel. Angels do it for me, I don’t know why. Okay, why is your face like that?”

Wynonna was cringing hard. “I may or may not have banged an angel.”

Rosita dropped her fork. “An angel? A literal feather-covered wings angel?”

“To be fair, I didn’t know he was an angel at the time. I just thought he was a normal firefighter!”

“No one is ‘normal’ in Purgatory, Wy.”

Wynonna groaned. “I know. I haven’t even told you the worst part.”

Rosita smirked devilishly. “Ooh, good. Tell me.”

“Well…” Wynonna hated that she put herself in this position, though she was almost fairly certain Rosita would be the last person to judge her. “Once again, I had no idea, but he was… Waverly’s dad.”

Rosita’s eyebrows jumped. “So… he…”

“Screwed my mother, yes. But while we were together he, like, had no memory of it. So like, he wasn’t being creepy or anything. He legit had no idea at the time. But yep, he was Waverly’s dad.”

Rosita sighed. “Wow. I missed so much. So Waverly is a half angel. Okay, not as surprising as I thought. Makes a lot of sense.”

“Yeah, I mean she was always the ‘good’ Earp, so it—”

“You’re a good Earp, too, Wynonna.” Rosita interrupted with her serious face on. “To be honest, you might be the first good Earp.”

Wynonna rapidly shook her head. “That’s not true. I have fucked things up.”

“I’m not going to argue about this with you. I’ve met all the Earps since Wyatt. They were all pretty terrible. Especially your father.”

She tensed up. Talking about the sins of Wyatt Earp was a lot easier to talk about than the sins of her father. He wasn’t someone she liked to talk about (or think about). Not just because the most traumatic moment of her life was his death. She just didn’t have anything good to say about him (most of her memories of him were bad).

“He was a bastard.”

Rosita nodded as if she knew what Wynonna wasn’t saying. “You deserved better than him. All kids do. Mine was… I was really lucky that he died when I was young. Best thing that happened to my mother.”

Wynonna tried to skip over the fact that she and Rosita seemed like they had similar fathers and said, “I’ve got mommy issues, too, so…”

“I’m sure you do. Who doesn’t? Can I ask you a question, though?”

“Shoot.”

“Why do you keep seeing me? I mean, I’m very pleased that you brought me clothes and dinner and we’re having all these conversations, but you didn’t want to get to know me at all years ago. Actually, I was pretty sure you hated me. Even before I pulled the shittiest move of all time.”

She opened her mouth, a little surprised that Rosita finally voiced how weird it was that they were becoming borderline friends. She didn’t know how to answer. She didn’t know why she kept showing up with stuff as excuses. She didn’t know why she spent all of her days wishing she was with Rosita (though she kept trying to push that thought far far away).

“I don’t know.”

Rosita frowned slightly. “I don’t mind. Seriously, Wynonna. Every time you come, it really cheers me up. You’re—you make me happy. Wow, that came out really fucking cringy, but it’s true. I just don’t want you to think that you have to come see me. I don’t want this to be out of pity, you know?”

“I’m not coming to you out of pity,” Wynonna breathed out, avoiding Rosita’s eyes as much as she could. “Believe me, Rosita, I’m not that nice.”

“So… you’re here because…”

Wynonna shivered and placed her food back in the bag. “Because I don’t know! You’re like the one person I can handle being around right now! I don’t know what else to say!”

“Hey,” Rosita grabbed Wynonna’s hand as she tried to pack everything up, “don’t do that. It’s okay. It’s totally okay. I won’t interrogate you any further. It’s fine.”

Wynonna clenched her teeth together. She wanted to keep her cool. Pretend like she was here because it was something to do. She didn’t want Rosita to know how much spending time with her meant, how it was keeping her going when she felt like she just wanted it all to stop. She wanted to pretend like nothing Rosita said or did affected her.

Wynonna pulled her hand away sharply.

“Shit, I fucked things up, didn’t I?” Rosita asked, worry drowning her voice. “Please, let’s change the topic. Please. We can talk about anything else.”

Wynonna felt sick. She wanted to be able to talk about something else—anything else—but her mind was swarming with thoughts she couldn’t control when she normally could. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t say anything but she couldn’t quite move either. She was frozen. Paralyzed.

“Wynonna…”

“I can’t—” her throat felt so dry, so dry. “I can’t—I need to leave.”

She stumbled as she stood up. Blood rushed to her head and for a second, she thought her dizziness would send her to the ground, but Rosita had gotten a hold of her. The ex-Revenant was holding her up, unwilling to let her fall.

Wynonna was trembling, but she was held tight. She didn’t want to enjoy it, Rosita’s embrace. She hated that the ex-Revenant was stronger than her. Wynonna hadn’t been sleeping, hadn’t been eating. She had been feeling weak for a long time. And as much as she hated it, it felt nice being held.

Rosita smelled like a burning candle. Cinnamon.

“You don’t need to leave,” Rosita whispered into her ear. “You can stay. Please, stay. I don’t want you to go out like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’ll fall apart if I let you go.”

Wynonna scoffed quietly. “I won’t fall apart.”

“Okay.”

“I won’t.”

“Okay.”

Rosita still hadn’t let go. And even though all the warning bells were going off in her head, Wynonna didn’t make her. She just let it all happen.

She let Rosita hold her until their arms became numb. She let Rosita drag her to the mattress. She let Rosita tenderly place her on the bed and wrap her up in blankets. She let Rosita wrap her arms around her. She let Rosita breathe into her neck, her skin. She let Rosita trace circles around her hands.

“I really hope one day you can tell me what’s going on,” Rosita told her as Wynonna began to feel drowsy. “I’m here. No matter what, I’m here.”

She let Rosita embrace her until she fell asleep.

part v

Six hours later.

Nicole was blue. Blue and dead. Dead and blue. Wynonna was screaming for help, but no one could hear her. No one could see Nicole’s dead body in the tub. She was dead and there was nothing she could do. She blinked and the body was Waverly. She blinked and the body was Rachel. She blinked and the body was Jeremy. She blinked and the body was Doc. She blinked and the body was Rosita. She blinked and the body was Alice.

She woke up breathless in a cold sweat. Rosita was already all over her, asking if she was okay, asking if she could do anything. She just shook her head and sat up. She felt like throwing up, but she swallowed the bile.

“I need to get home,” Wynonna muttered, her voice hoarse and so wrong sounding. She scrambled up from the bed and said, “I have to—I need to make sure they’re okay.”

“Okay,” Rosita said and started helping Wynonna get her things together. “I get it. But maybe you should call your sister. I don’t think you should leave like—”

“I’ll be fine,” Wynonna stated firmly. Rosita looked unsatisfied with that answer. “I’m fine, Rosie, I promise.”

Rosita raised her eyebrows at the nickname, but didn’t say anything. “Okay. Wynonna, please stay safe. Dammit, I wish you could call me when you got home.”

“Fuck, I almost forgot.” Wynonna pulled out the cheap phone she bought and passed it to the other woman. “This is for you.”

Rosita’s eyebrows shot up. “You got me a phone?”

“A burner phone. Don’t get too excited.” She tried to joke, but Rosita looked just as concerned. “I’ll call you. I already programmed my number in there. That way I can text you before I come so I don’t interrupt your sexcapades.”

That seemed to reassure her somewhat. “So you’ll call? When you get home?”

Wynonna’s face softened. “I will. Promise. I’ll see you later, Bustillos.”

She left before giving her the chance to say goodbye back.

part vi

One day later.

Rosita was waiting for her. Wynonna had texted her, telling her she was coming. She had a long day hunting a demon who was feasting on livers. It reminded her of an x-files episode. Or Hannibal Lecter. Either way, it ended up with her asking for Doc’s help, who she found shacked up with Amon at the Glory Hole. Wynonna pretended like it wasn’t like a punch to the stomach. Doc and Amon helped and in the end, Wynonna was covered with the demon’s guts. Which was why she showed up to the nunnery after taking seven showers.

“Your hair…” Rosita grinned and reached for Wynonna’s wet hair. “It’s stringy.”

Wynonna pouted. “It’s wet.”

“That’s what she said. Come on, Wynonna. I have food this time. I was able to get this Uber Eats thing on my new phone. I stole a little bit from the collective bank.”

Wynonna gasped dramatically. “You sinner. Right in front of God. Savage.”

“I thought so,” Rosita smirked and started to head toward her room with Wynonna. “I do have to say, the nuns are starting to dislike me.”

The Heir snorted. “Why?”

Rosita lowered her voice. “They don’t like you hanging around.”

“Ah,” Wynonna muttered and closed the door behind them. “They don’t like me taking you away from their sexy times?”

“Probably. Here. I bought tacos. You love them, right? I think I remember you and Waverly having them all the time.”

She held up the bag of food and Wynonna’s mouth watered. “You’re my savior. I deserve a fucking treat. I not only had demon guts all over me, I saw my baby daddy’s tongue in another dude’s mouth.”

Rosita winced. “Ouch. That must hurt. Speaking of, I’m sorry he and I were… you know.”

Wynonna’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you apologizing? Doc tends to want me until he doesn’t. Besides, who wouldn’t want a complete brilliant sexy genius like you?”

She smiled up at her and passed her a taco. “Thanks, but plenty of people. So, how do you feel about Doc being with someone else?”

Wynonna shrugged and took a bite. “It hurt, but it’s happened plenty of times for me to be used to it by now. I just thought… we seemed to be getting somewhere before… but it hurts less than I think it should.”

“What do you mean?”

She didn’t quite know how to explain what she meant. She had been thinking about it a lot. Ever since she had first met with Rosita again.

“Have you ever felt like you’ve… fallen for the idea of a person, or something that they represent, but not the actual person?”

Rosita tilted her head. “I’m not sure if I have, but I understand what you mean.”

“Doc believed in me before anyone else did. And then… and then I had his baby and I… I don’t know.”

“Well,” Rosita grinned at her, her hair falling into her face. “Doc is making the biggest mistake of his whole entire existence. How’s the taco?”

Wynonna felt her cheeks redden with heat. “So much better than when it’s vegan. You are a hero.”

“Ha. It was easy. So, tell me about this demon. Are there that many left in Purgatory?”

Wynonna told Rosita all about the Purgatory that she was still getting used to after being gone for a year and a half. She told her about the turbulent relationship between demons and humans, how there were demons that had a resemblance of class (like Amon) and those that were so hungry for human flesh that they couldn’t help it.

She told her about how Nicole was back as sheriff and that being a part of BBD was weird and felt wrong, especially after what they did to Dolls. She talked about training Rachel, trying to make her into a fighter. She talked about seeing herself in the teenager, but how she also saw Nicole in her. A lot of Nicole in her.

She told her about the Wayhaught wedding planning. How they were planning to have the wedding on Earp land (a little afraid to have it anywhere else and have it interrupted by demons). How Wynonna didn’t know if she was going to be Nicole or Wynonna’s maid or honor/best man. How Jeremy was getting obsessed with all the little details.

Rosita absorbed everything, listening intently to everything she said. Nodding along, asking questions, and laughing at the right moments. Wynonna was surprised to find that she enjoyed telling Rosita things. The good things. And when she was done, she told Rosita to recount her own last few weeks.

When they were done with their tacos and collapsed onto the mattress, Rosita talked about the other nuns and all the gossip that happened between the nuns. She talked about the nuns who fought over her and each other, making Wynonna crack up with laughter. Laughing made her feel lighter, freer. For once like her world wasn’t collapsing beneath her.

“Uh oh. What is this? Wynonna Earp laughing at my stories? Is it possible?” Rosita was on her side, facing Wynonna who was mirroring her.

“Don’t get so full of yourself,” Wynonna joked and smiled, trying her hardest not to pay attention to Rosita’s eyes or her lips or her chest. “I only find you marginally funny. I’m mostly just laughing at you.”

“Nah, Earp. You think I’m funny.”

“Funny looking, maybe. Looks aren’t everything, you know.”

Rosita pursed her lips and let out a breathy chuckle. “You’re a dick, you know that, right? You can’t even admit that you think I’m funny.”

“Why would I do that? It would give you a big head. You’re already gorgeous and brilliant, if you thought you were funny, your ego would just multiply in size.”

Rosita raised an eyebrow and smirked. “You think I’m gorgeous?”

Wynonna rolled her eyes. “As if you didn’t know that.”

“Maybe I just hoped you did.”

Their eyes locked. Wynonna felt her chest pounding and her stomach flutter. For a second, she thought she could drown in Rosita’s eyes. She knew she could do it without any effort. And in that moment, she thought she could kiss her. Taste her. Love her.

No.

Wynonna looked away and laid flat on her back. She didn’t want to see her. She didn’t want to keep looking at her lips or drowning in her eyes. That territory was dangerous. Because what they had here was great. It was easy. It felt good. And there was no way she was going to risk losing it.

“So, what’s the rude nun’s deal? Cecilia? Why is she always glaring at me?”

Rosita paused for a second, like she was debating something else, but then took a deep breath and told Wynonna what exactly her deal was. Back and forth, they continued to talk about meaningless things until they drifted off to sleep.

part vii

Two weeks later.

Wynonna: yo rosita r u sure that cecilia bitch wont hit me when i come inside again

Rosita: come inside what ;)

Wynonna: you’re worse than me

Wynonna: answer the goddamn question

Rosita: don’t worry about her, the others have her under control

Wynonna: good, i’m coming in

Wynonna: don’t you dare make a joke

Wynonna entered the nunnery a little worse for wear. She spent the last week hunting a pack of demons that were working for Cleo. Cleo was not great at being a bad guy, but she was good at finding bad guys to fuck up Wynonna’s life.

At the very least, she was feeling stronger. She had been sleeping (over with Rosita) and had been eating (with Rosita). She had been spending every night with Rosita, eating dinner and falling asleep in her arms. She was just glad that no one living in the homestead had noticed her sneaking away. That was a conversation she did not want to have. They were leaving her alone for the most part ever since Doc ended whatever they were.

When she wasn’t with Rosita, she wished she was with her. She was doing better being around Waverly, Nicole, Rachel, and Jeremy, but their company couldn’t compare to what she felt like around Rosita.

There weren’t even any nuns around when she came in, which was a miracle. Usually, she got horrible stares from them. And then there was Cecilia, who hit her because she was ‘jealous’ of the amount of time Rosita was spending with her. That did not feel great. But it seemed like Rosita had done something to make sure she wasn’t in the presence of any nuns.

“What food did you bring for me today?” Rosita said as she bounced toward Wynonna, all giddy in a way that made Wynonna smile.

“I had a rough day so I have… cake.”

Rosita grinned at her. “And I have forks.”

Wynonna followed Rosita to her room and felt a rush of relief inside. Somehow she felt more at home in a weapon room than she did at her own homestead. She still didn’t know how that happened.

Rosita pulled out the boxed cake and grinned at her. “Chocolate cake. What did I do to deserve such kindness?”

Wynonna snorted. “You are letting me stay in your room most nights.”

“Fair enough. I’d like to think you’d let me stay in your barn if I could.”

Wynonna pretended to wince. “Ooh, you would be living in close proximity to a moody teenager and horny couple, though.”

“Doesn’t sound too terrible to me if you’re around.”

“You’re a weird one.”

Rosita stuck out her tongue. “Says you. Cake time.”

They were silent for a few minutes as they got into the cake. Wynonna was glad with her decision. She was definitely feeling better.

“So, you said your day was rough? What happened?” Rosita asked between bites of food.

Wynonna shrugged. “Still dealing with the pack of freaking demons. And Doc’s still upset with me because he thinks this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t—” She couldn’t say it, but Rosita nodded like she understood.

“He’s a fucking hypocrite. You did what you had to do, ‘Nonna, don’t forget that. So… the demons are still out and about?”

“Two down, two to go. The Black Badge weapons aren’t even really helping.”

“Demons be fickle like that,” Rosita joked lightly. “You’ve got a little cake on your nose.”

Wynonna flushed and tried to wipe her nose. “Did I get it?”

“Here, let me,” Rosita whispered and leaned over slowly, very very close to Wynonna’s face. “It’s right… here…”

Wynonna waited for Rosita to wipe her nose (as she ignored how good Rosita smelled), but Rosita just grabbed a handful of cake and slathered it onto Wynonna’s nose. She gasped in complete and utter surprise. She definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“You dick!” Instead of wiping the cake off her nose, she grabbed whatever she could from her nose and threw it at Rosita, landing in her hair. “Got you in your luscious hair.”

Rosita grimaced as she tried to take the cake out of her hair. “My hair!? My hair, Wynonna!? Seriously?”

Wynonna grinned devilishly at her. “Well, as they say, if you really want to hurt someone, you go after what they love the most.”

“It’s on, Wynonna.”

Rosita grabbed a handful of cake and threw it at Wynonna’s shoulder as Wynonna threw a piece at Rosita’s head. It only took a few seconds for it to turn into a fully fledged war. They were laughing and screaming as they aimed cake at each other.

When Rosita hit Wynonna’s jacket, however, was when it became intense. Wynonna jumped on top of her and rubbed a piece of cake all over the top of her head. Rosita winked to catch her off guard before she forced them to roll around so that she was on top. She pinned Wynonna’s wrists to the ground, forcing out a groan from Wynonna.

“I’ve got you now.”

Wynonna’s chest was heaving as heat flowed through her entire body. Rosita was sitting on her, smirking in a way that made the heat throb. Cake was falling off Rosita’s head, but all of her attention was on Rosita’s eyes. It was always on her eyes.

“You do.”

Wynonna blinked and Rosita’s lips were on hers. She was frozen for a second before she kissed her back. She couldn’t help it. Desire fiercely roared through her in a way it really hadn’t before. Besides, Rosita’s lips were soft and gentle and eager and so kissable. Her whole body from head to toe felt like it was tingling. Electric.

Wynonna wanted more. More and more and more and more. She ran her tongue against Rosita’s bottom lip and Rosita obliged. Her tongue was in the other woman’s mouth and at the sound of Rosita’s moan into her mouth, Wynonna almost died on the spot. The heat between her legs was killing her.

“Fuck.”

The sound of Rosita’s voice forced Wynonna to stop. To realize what had happened. To regret everything. She easily pushed Rosita off of her and quickly stood up. Rosita looked at her with such confusion, such hurt that it nearly broke Wynonna’s heart that very second.

“What’s wrong?” Rosita asked, her voice so quiet, so terrified.

Tears were falling from Wynonna’s eyes. Rosita thought she was rejecting her, which wasn’t the case at all. Instead, Wynonna was stopping things before Rosita had the chance to reject her. She knew it would inevitably happen. It always did.

“This was wrong! You weren’t supposed to kiss me!”

Rosita started crying too. “Why? I thought you wanted me, too!”

“I…” she did want her. She wanted Rosita more than she had ever wanted anybody. And that was fucking terrifying. “It doesn’t matter. You ruined this, Rosita! You were my person and you… you ruined this.”

“I’m sorry!” Rosita choked out as she reached for Wynonna’s hand, but she just pulled away and started walking backward toward the door. “I’m so sorry. Just please stay. Let’s talk about it. Please, Wynonna. Let’s talk about it.”

Wynonna shook her head rapidly. She couldn’t stay and watch Rosita cry. She couldn’t stay and watch as everything was falling apart. She wouldn’t do that to herself. She wouldn’t do that to Rosita.

“I have to go.”

Wynonna, with her lips still numb, turned around and headed for the door as fast as she could.

“Please stay, Wynonna!” Rosita shouted suddenly, stopping Wynonna in her tracks. “Don’t do this, ‘Nonna! Stay with me!”

Wynonna bit her numb lips, drawing blood. “I can’t.”

Rosita didn’t chase her out of the room. She didn’t know what she would have done if Rosita had followed her out. She just had to get out of there. She just had to get out of there. She just had to get out of there.

part viii

Three hours later.

Rosita: wynonna, please answer your phone, i’ve called you 3 times

Rosita: please wynonna

Rosita: you’re worrying me

Rosita: please, let’s just talk about this

Rosita: i’d fucking come to you if i could

Six hours later.

Rosita: just tell me you’re okay

Rosita: i just want to make sure you’re fine

Rosita: fuck

Rosita: wynonna, please

Rosita: i’m begging you

Twelve hours later.

Rosita: i shouldn’t have kissed you, i should have asked

Rosita: we would never ever have to kiss again, i assure you

Rosita: wynonna, we can just be friends

Rosita: or whatever you want to be

Rosita: i just want you to talk to me

Twelve hours later.

Rosita: you’re scaring me

Rosita: if you don’t pick up your fucking phone i’m going to leave this fucking nunnery, damn the consequences

Wynonna: dont be an idiot

Rosita: wynonna are you okay?

Rosita: wynonna?

Thirty hours later.

Rosita: don’t do this, please

Rosita: we can pretend like it never happened

Rosita: i promise, it’ll be like before

Rosita: please

Rosita: you’re the only one who understands me

Rosita: you’re the only one who has ever understood me

Rosita: please

Two weeks later.

Rosita: i need you

part ix

One day later.

She didn’t know why she was back. It had been about two and a half weeks since she had been here. Two and a half weeks of hating herself. Two and a half weeks of hating how she left and how she felt like she couldn’t go back. Two and a half weeks of missing everything about Rosita. Two and a half weeks of wishing she was back in her arms, back in her bed, back kissing her lips.

She wished that it was Rosita’s last text that had convinced her to come back, but instead, it was her nosy best friend.

“You’re mopey again. And drinking.”

Wynonna rolled her eyes at the redhead, who was looking at all the empty bottles in her bed. “And you’re annoying. So what?”

Haught glared at her. “Go see her, Earp. Please. For all of our sakes.”

“What the hell are you on about?”

Haught put her hands on her hips. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but I know you were going off to see Rosita every night a couple of weeks ago. Rachel told me that she had seen you sneaking out and I followed you. I connected the pieces. I have to say, I was surprised, but she was making you so happy.”

Wynonna groaned and buried her head in her pillow. “Did you tell my sister?”

“Not my problem. You should tell her, not me. So… what happened?” Nicole sat down on the makeshift bed with Wynonna.

“She kissed me.”

“And that’s a bad thing? Did she force herself on you?”

“No, nothing like that. I kissed her back.”

Nicole furrowed her eyebrows. “So… what’s the problem?”

Wynonna shook her head, frustrated that she didn’t understand. “I’m a fuck up. I would fuck it up. I don’t do relationships.”

“But you like her?”

“Too much.”

Nicole sighed. “Wynonna, don’t focus on the relationship. Don’t focus on any of that shit. It doesn’t matter. What matters is how you feel about her and you wanting to be with her. Everything else, that’s just fluff. You deserve this. You deserve her.”

Tears spilled from her eyes. “She’s too good for me.”

“You’re an idiot, Earp.” Nicole reached over and wiped some of her tears away. “Go to her. Tell her the truth. Everything else is fluff.”

Fluff.

She opened the door to find fucking Cecelia’s fist. Blood was spilling from the cut in her lip. Fucking Cecilia.

“Hey! What the hell is going on here?”

Rosita was running toward her as Wynonna held onto her rapidly bruising face. The first thing she noticed was that Rosita was back in her nun outfit. Out of Wynonna’s clothes. It was a fucking stab to her heart (though Wynonna understood why).

“Rosita…” Wynonna breathed out when she finally approached her.

“I thought you wouldn’t want her back inside,” Cecilia hissed to Rosita proudly, like she had been of service to her.

“Go away, Cecelia, you didn’t have to fucking hit her,” Rosita muttered and finally turned to look at Wynonna, who was practically speechless. “That should be my job.”

Wynonna gulped and stiffened, ready for a smack. But nothing happened.

“Did you really think I was going to hit you?” There was no resemblance of humor in her voice. She seemed genuinely concerned.

Wynonna shrugged. She didn’t tell her that it had happened before.

Rosita seemed to know the answer to the question even though she was silent. Her hard eyes softened and she reached out to pull the other brunette into her arms. Tears immediately spilled out of Wynonna’s eyes. She had missed this so much. Rosita’s arms.

“Goddammit, Wynonna.”

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized and squeezed Rosita tighter. “I shouldn’t have left you like that. I should have picked up my fucking phone. I was so scared.”

“Of what?”

“You, me, us. All of it.”

Rosita pulled away and cupped Wynonna’s tear covered cheeks. “I never would have done anything you weren’t comfortable with. We don’t—let’s go into my room. Everyone’s watching us.”

Wynonna looked around and realized that Rosita was right. Nuns were staring down at her, glaring at her in the creepiest way possible. She shuddered and followed Rosita to her room, anxiously waiting for Rosita to finish what she was saying.

When the doors closed, Rosita continued. “Wynonna, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Ever. ”

Wynonna ran her fingers through her hair. She knew this was going to be the hard part. Telling the truth. Being vulnerable. She fucking hated it. But with Rosita holding her hand as they sat on the mattress, she felt reassured. She felt strong enough to do this.

“It’s not that I don’t want us to do things. It’s just… I’ve never done this. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I fuck up every single potential relationship I’ve ever had and I have never ever been enough. I don’t want us to get together and for me to ruin this.”

“Oh, Wynonna…” Rosita squeezed her hand and took a deep breath. “I don’t know what Doc or anyone else said or did, but you need to know that you are enough for anyone. You might be a colossal hot mess, but Wynonna, anyone would be lucky to have you. As a friend, as a lover, as a mother…”

Wynonna broke.

Physically, emotionally, she broke down. She placed her head in her hands, crying into them as she tried to move away from Rosita, not wanting her to have to deal with this. She never liked anyone to see her like this. Not even Waverly.

“Wynonna…” Rosita moved closer to her and tried to pull her close.

For a few long seconds, Wynonna pushed her away as hard as she could. Tears streaming down her face, she struggled with Rosita, screaming and hitting, trying to get away from her when all the ex-Revenant was doing was trying to hold her closer. Normally, Wynonna would have been able to fight against her, but while she was desperately shaking and forgetting how to breathe, she couldn’t fight against her. She hated it. She hated that Rosita was holding her, cradling her in her arms, whispering that she needed to breathe.

She didn’t deserve it. Just like she didn’t deserve Doc. Just like she didn’t deserve her sister’s love or Haught’s friendship.

But she continued to sob into Rosita’s shoulder as the woman ran her fingers through Wynonna’s hair. She didn’t know how to stop. How to start breathing like a normal person. She hadn’t done this in awhile. And usually, it happened when she was alone and she’d cry until she couldn’t anymore.

She clung to Rosita’s nun robe until she finally was able to breathe along with her and coughed out, “I’m ruining your clothes.”

“Eh, there’s more of ‘em. I could take it off if you wanted.”

“Why are y-you doing this?” Wynonna asked her (somehow ignoring Rosita’s innuendo), her voice trembling as fiercely as her body. She couldn’t think of a single person other than Waverly who would do this for her.

Rosita shrugged. “You know I don’t want to see you suffer.”

That wasn’t good enough for her. “I ghosted you.”

“You did, but I don’t give a shit about that right now. You’re Wynonna fucking Earp. The bravest, most loyal, and sexiest person I’ve ever met. You have so much shit on your shoulders and everyone expects you to just deal with it with a smile. It’s okay if you’re not doing okay.”

She shook her head, not allowing a single word to mean anything to her. “I’m not just doing ‘not okay’, I’m doing total shit. I’m a fuck-up, Rosita, it’d be a joke to pretend like I’m anything but.”

Startling Wynonna, Rosita gently traced a finger from Wynonna’s eyebrow to her chin and whispered, “just cause you think you’re a fuck-up doesn’t mean you not also all those things I said.” She grinned down at her, knowing Wynonna’d smile.

“You’re a beautiful idiot.”

“All I’m hearing is that I’m beautiful.”

Wynonna wiped her tears and smiled at her. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

“You literally compliment and flirt with me all the time. Like in every sentence. Even when you try to criticize me—”

“Yeah, yeah.” Wynonna looked down, tried to gather herself, and said, “I’m sorry I ghosted you.”

“I’m sorry I kissed you.”

Wynonna shook her head. “Can you do it again?”

“Wynonna, I don’t want you to feel like we have to do anything.”

“Please. Please kiss me, Rosita. I just want you to fucking—”

Rosita interrupted her with her lips. Her fucking lips. She kissed her with a greedy need and Wynonna returned it. Give and take. Wynonna wanted all of her. It was all need.

The Heir gracefully moved so that instead of the cradling position they were in, she could sit on Rosita’s lap, placing her hand on Rosita’s waist. Rosita smiled slightly at the touch and the kiss deepened. Rosita’s hands were all in the other woman’s hair.

When Wynonna’s mouth traveled to Rosita’s chin, down to her neck, Rosita asked, “I thought you didn’t want this.”

Wynonna came up for air and found Rosita’s brown eyes. “God, I want everything with you. Everything else is fluff.”

Rosita snorted. “Fluff? Who are you and what have you done with Wynonna Earp?”

“Don’t be cheeky,” Wynonna quipped back. “What I mean is, all of my worries, when I’m with you, it’s just extra fluff. What matters is that I want you. I want to spend all my time with you. I want to talk to you. I want to laugh with you. I want to kiss you. And you know I want to fuck you. I want you.” She kissed her neck. “I want you.” She kissed her jawline. “I want you.” She kissed her cheek. “I want you.” She kissed her lips.

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” Rosita muttered between kisses. “Though I’m pretty sure I want you more.”

Wynonna felt like her whole body was on fire. She just kissed her with more urgency, more desire, more love. She tried to find a zipper or button or something on Rosita’s nun thing and growled when she couldn’t find anything.

“Fuck it.”

She ripped it.

Rosita laughed. “Needy.”

It didn’t take long for the nun outfit to be in shreds. She was caught a little off-guard when she saw Rosita’s body, her fucking body, her entire glorious body. She quickly started to memorize every section of skin, every curve, every line.

“See something you like?”

“You’re gorgeous.”

Rosita grinned at her and started taking Wynonna’s clothes off until they scattered across the floor. Rosita started touching her, her fingers feeling like bolts of energy across her skin. Rosita’s touch brought her back to life.

part x

One year later.

Wynonna’s eyes snapped open at the sound of pots and pans. She groaned and rolled over, bumping into a body. She was mostly used to sleeping with another body, but it still sometimes startled her. In a good way. She couldn’t believe that it had been a year and that they were still together, even though the bed was different.

The other woman wrapped her arms around her and Wynonna breathed her in. She smelled like home.

“I’m going to kill my sister for waking us up every morning.”

Rosita chuckled and kissed her forehead. “She’s making us breakfast, you know.”

“Even so, she’s making me miss the nunnery.”

“That’s dramatic. You added an extension on the house for a reason, Wynonna. I would not have liked to live in the barn.”

Wynonna grinned at her cheesily. “It was a cozy barn.”

Rosita rolled her eyes. “Not cozy enough for me. I’m just personally glad you finally told your sister. She was the one who figured out how I could stay here with the ammonite.”

“And she’s been teasing me about you ever since.”

Rosita pretended to pout. “Oh. You poor baby. You have to deal with your mean sister making fun of you being cute with your girlfriend. Your hot girlfriend, might I add.”

Wynonna smirked and started to trace her fingers along her girlfriend’s arm. “The hottest girlfriend in the world.”

The ex-Revenant hummed. “How long do you think we can wait until we have to go see your sister.”

She groaned. “Knowing her, she’ll probably knock on our door in three minutes if we don’t get up. I can’t believe she’s still doing her interruption ‘payback’ scheme. Wynonnus Interruptus was charming. Waverly Interrupy is just a jerk.”

“Well,” Rosita sighed and began to tug at the boxers Wynonna was wearing, “we can do a lot in three minutes.”

Wynonna’s heart thumped as her girlfriend rolled on top of her and started kissing her neck. She moaned and started to mess with Rosita’s bra clip. It was almost completely off when there was a banging on the door.

“Breakfast is ready, lovebirds!”

Both of them groaned in frustration and Rosita flopped back down on the bed. They acted surprised even though this happened almost every morning. Wynonna wasn’t sure if she’d ever get used to it, though. Waking up to Rosita every morning. Rosita, her girlfriend. Her fucking girlfriend. It still amazed her. She couldn’t believe she stayed.

“I guess that means we have to put clothes on,” Rosita sighed as she sat up and pulled her long hair into a messy bun.

Wynonna gazed at her girlfriend. “Please don’t put clothes on.”

“Baby…” Rosita leaned over and kissed her. “The last time we left the room looking like this we were told that we ‘traumatized’ the munchkin.”

“Smalldez. Ruining our mood.” Wynonna scrunched up her nose and frowned.

Rosita snorted. “It also just so happened that she was on facetime with her significant other. Rachel said that they were very concerned about her when it happened.”

“Okay, so we learned our lesson! Rachel legit saw Waverly and Nicole on the floor in the kitchen. I don’t know how us in our bras could be that much worse.”

The ex-Revenant shrugged. “Don’t know. But we have to get out of bed or it’s just going to be worse for us. You know that. The last time we stayed in our room, when we came out, they all had headphones on. And we weren’t even really doing anything. And when we have Alice come home, it’ll just be worse. She’ll need you all the time.”

The mention of Alice sent both excitement and anxiety through her body. With Cleo admitting defeat and surrendering and most of the demons under control, they decided to bring Alice back home. Wynonna was still in a state of shock. She was so worried when she found out she was pregnant that she’d have to do it all alone. But she had her sister, her best friend/sister-in-law, Doc, Rachel, and Rosita. Rosita, who told her that she would be there for her and Alice, no matter what.

“She’ll need us, Rosie.”

A smile grew from Rosita’s lips. “Imagine in a few weeks time, your little girl will be in our arms.”

It was the only thing that Wynonna had been thinking about in the last few months. “It’s crazy. I’m so excited for her to be home. It’ll be like…”

“Like what, Wy?”

Wynonna took a deep breath, knowing what she was going to say was a big deal. “Like all the people I love will be in one place. Like my family will finally be together. Like I’m finally happy. I know a lot of it has to do with you.”

Rosita cupped Wynonna’s cheeks and kissed her nose. “You make me happier than I’ve ever been, Wynonna.”

“Rosita, I—I love you. So fucking much. I love you so much.”

She finally said it. She knew it was the truth after a week of being together, but she wasn’t ready to say it out loud until now. She was emotionally ready, now. She knew what there relationship was and she knew that it was strong. There was nothing that could pull them apart. Not now.

“Wynonna Earp,” Rosita laughed and wiped the tears that flowed from Wynonna’s eyes. “I love you, too. More than anything. More than the amount of stars in the sky. No matter what.”

Wynonna grinned, feeling a burst of love spread throughout her entire body. She kissed her with everything she had. God, she loved Rosita Bustillos.

“BREAKFAST IS GETTING COLD!”

“I think we’re going to be in trouble,” Rosita joked and kissed her gently. “We should go.”

Wynonna sighed in agreement. “We should.”

They didn’t.

#wynonna earp fanfiction #Wynonna Earp #wynsita #wynonna x rosita #binonna earp #binonna #wynonna earp fic #wynonna earp fanfic #wearp fic #wayhaught #wayhaught fic #nicole haught #doc holliday #waverly earp #rosita bustillos

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originalhybridloverfics · 3 years

Text

That We'll Always Be There For Each Other. Always - Sahyveride Fic - Ch2

AN: I apologize for medical inaccuracies.

This is a repost by request.

Severide paced back and forth across the floor of the hospital on edge, the rest of 51 sitting around the waiting room as they all waited for news. He looked down the hall for the doctor for what felt like the umpteenth time, but nothing. He went to turn and begin pacing again when a doctor emerged from the hallway, heading in their direction and walking straight to him.

"How is she?" he asked immediately as the others stood from their seats.

"She's stable for now, she's lost a lot of blood, the blow she took to the back of the head was..." he trailed off. "Quite serious, to be honest, it's a miracle it didn't kill her on impact. She's not out of the woods, she has some blood hemorrhaging on the brain, we need to operate as soon as possible, we're getting her prep for surgery, so if one of you would like to see her, you have a minute or two."

"Severide." Boden said, not needing to say more.

Severide nodded before following the doctor to where they had her in a room. He walked to her bedside and looked down at her, her skin was pale and she looked weak and frail, not like the strong woman he knew her to be. He took her hand in his and her skin was cold to the touch from her loss of blood, not as warm as it should have been, he covered her hand with one of his own, warming it and began talking quietly."You keep on fighting, Shay? .. I need you to survive this because if you can't then I can't so you have to survive for both of our sakes..." He paused, swallowing hard, blinking back tears that welled in his eyes. "We both know I'd be a wreck without you, so you gotta hang in there, Shay..."

"Excuse me." said a nurse coming into the room. "We have to take her now."

"Yeah, okay." He said, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to Shay's forehead. "I love you." He whispered against her skin so quietly no one could hear it. He straightened back up, running a hand over his face and taking a step back, watching as the nurse wheeled her away, sending him a sympathetic look. Another nurse came in and led him back to the waiting room.

The others looked like they wanted to say something but decided against it at the lost look on his face, he slid to the floor, preparing to wait, his back against the wall and his hands in on his head, the rest of 51 letting him be, knowing this was hard on him. It was hard for them too but not in the same way. Dawson looked away, the guilt eating away at her because it should've been her.

House 51 settled into their seats for a long wait, all determined to wait the hours out together.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

After the first two hours Casey and Boden had to practically drag him to the cafeteria to get coffee but was back as soon as they did, waiting it out, vowing he wasn't making another trip unless it was to the bathroom.

It was another couple agonizing hours of waiting before the doctor finally emerged, walking over to them.

Severide stood immediately, waiting anxiously.

"She made it through the surgery." Was the first thing out of the doctor's mouth and there were collective sighs of relief throughout 51. "However...there were a few complications?"

"Complications?" Severide reappeared, telling himself to remain calm. "What kind of complications?"

"Well, besides the bleeding that occurred, there's some swelling and we lost her twice on the table but were able to resuscitate her." The doctor assured. "Now in sensitive cases like these, it's hard to tell what damage was done."

"Damage?" Kelly repeated.

"Until the swelling goes down and if she wakes up we don't know if there are problems with her basic brain functions."

"What do you mean if she wakes up?" Severide gritted out.

"I'm afraid she's slipped into a small coma." The doctor answered, voice somber. "When or whether she wakes up, its up to her now, we did everything we can for now."

Severide sucked in a breath. Shay had to wake up anything else wasn't an option...it just wasn't.

He couldn't see a life without her in it; she wasn't just his best friend, the only person he trusted in this world. She was everything, everything good that mattered in his life.

"You're welcome to visit her but only one or two at a time."The doctor informed him.

"Severide, Dawson, you go." Boden told them.

They both nodded and the doctor led them to her room where she was situated.

He opened the door for them. "Talking with coma patients usually helps in some cases." He told them, before turning to head down the hall.

"Doc?" Severide called out to him. "Thank you for everything you've done."

The doctor nodded before heading down the hall.

Dawson and Severide entered the room with Severide however Severide stopped at the sight of all the monitors and the tube down her throat, the pale skin and wrap around her head. He sucked in air and turned away at the sight, having not been prepared to see her like that.

He needed a moment to himself and walked out of the room, standing outside the room; he took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, trying to steel himself against the emotions that were hitting him.

Dawson observed him silently, she had thought she knew how Severide felt about Shay but she was starting to think she was wrong; she was starting to see what had been in front of everyone's faces all along including Shay's.

She walked up to Shay's bed taking her hand. "Hey." she whispered softly. "I know you're hurt really bad but you have to get better because I need my friend and my partner. Okay? So you have to wake up." She wiped at her eyes as they grew wet. "If not for me then for Severide. He needs you more than you know. I don't think any of us really knew how much he really loved you. So you've got to wake up because not waking up is not an option, do you hear me?" She leaned down and pressed a kiss to her hand. "Keep fighting, Shay, if not for me or Severide than for yourself." She gave her hand one last squeeze before placing her hand gently back beside her and turning to leave as she passed Severide outside the door, she gave his arm a supportive squeeze before continuing down the hall.

Severide watched her go before taking a deep steeling breath and turning back around, going into the room softly closing the door behind him. He walked over to the chair against the wall dragging it beside the bed before sitting down on it, leaning forward. He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, kissing the skin there. "Hey." He said quietly. "I feel like we've been here before with your last head injury...Only it wasn't this bad last time. I thought I was scared last time but that was nothing compared to how I'm feeling now." His voice cracked and he had to pause taking a deep breath. "I'm terrified of losing you." He admitted. “You're my best friend and I can't imagine living in a world you're not in." He paused, brushing his lips against her hand. "Do you remember after your accident when you first came home from the hospital, we settled in to watch some movies and I told you that I didn't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to you?" He reached up with his free hand, his hand cupping her cheek. "It's truer than ever. I won't be able to handle it if you don't pull out of this. You need to fight for the both of us because I won't survive losing you. I can't. So you have to get better and open those beautiful blue eyes for me and tell me I was worried for nothing because you're fine." His voice broke and he leaned forward placing a lingering kiss to her forehead. "You're going to be fine." He repeated more to himself than her needing to believe that more than anything else in the world.

He sat back in the chair entwining their hands and made himself as comfortable as he could, not intending to leave from this spot anytime soon.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

It's been a week since Shay had fallen into a coma; Kelly had contacted her sister and parents. They had all flown out to Chicago, taking time off of their jobs, putting their lives on hold and refuse to leave until they knew she was going to be okay.

They frequent the hospital nearly as much as Severide but Severide rarely left the hospital, he had taken time off work, getting a firehouse member from another house to cover his shifts, Dawson stopped by when she wasn't taking a call, bringing him lunch when she stopped in to visit Shay and Casey brought him a duffle bag of clothes. He used the bathroom in her room to shower.

When Mr. Shay had gotten there he had paid to have his daughter in a room more comfortable and roomy, it had a couch against the wall, several chairs, a flat screen on the wall, a view out the window of the winding city and a large bathroom with a stand up shower.

It all made it very easy to never leave the hospital. He slept on the couch, he showered in the bathroom. Dawson brought him food and he kept himself loaded up on coffee and soft drinks from the vending machines. He wanted to be there if anything happened, if she were to wake up, if there was the slightest change in her condition.

So he never really left, he got to know her family pretty well. Her parents clearly loved her as well as her sister, they would share stories about Shay when she was younger, the trouble she managed to get herself into and how she had always known she wanted to help people and how that had ultimately led to her being a paramedic.

It was going on the second week when it was starting to get to him and the doctors had informed them that the longer she stayed in the coma the less likely it was she would wake up.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

On one of the times Dawson came to visit, she caught Severide talking to Shay. She couldn't hear what he was saying. He was speaking so quietly but the expression of his face was both heartbreaking and loving at the same time. And that was the moment it hit her with a startling realization that should have been obvious because it was always there and she just couldn't see it.

Shay wasn't just Severide's best friend but also the woman he was in love with.

It was so easy to see in that moment that Severide was completely in love with her.

"Hey." She said quietly, announcing her presence.

Severide looked up; releasing the hold he had on Shay's hand as she walked toward him, and hugged her quickly before releasing her. "How is she?" Dawson asked.

"The same." Admitted Severide with a frown. "The doctors say the longer she's in the coma the less likely she is to wake up from it."

"She'll wake up." said Dawson. "She has to."

Kelly said nothing only wrapped his hand around Shay's hand again.

Dawson watched him as his eyes never left Shay, watching her for any movement, holding her hand securely in his, rubbing his thumb soothingly back and forth over the back of her hand.

Dawson placed her hand on his shoulder, “Why don't you go get some rest, eat, I'll sit with her."

Severide shook his head. "No, I'm good."

"Severide, you need to eat and need to rest, you're no good to Shay if you're exhausted and starving." Dawson told him, attempting to be gentle, though it wasn't her strong suit.

"I'm fine." Insisted Severide, stubbornly not wanting to leave her side even to eat or rest. "I'm not tired or hungry."

"At least take a shower then." Said Dawson persistently.

"I said I was fine!" he snapped.

"How do you think Shay is going to feel when she wakes up to find out you haven't been taking care of yourself?"

Severide finally turned his eyes to glare at her. "That's a low blow."

"But no less true." She leveled him with a look.

"Fine, I'll be back in an hour." Severide stood up.

"Make that two, you need to eat." She said, taking his vacated seat.

"You're pushin' it." He called over his shoulder as he left the room, disappearing down the hospital hall.

Dawson took Shay's hand in her own. "Hey," she greeted. "I hope you plan on waking up soon, working shift without you there isn't the same." She paused glancing up at Shay's sleeping form. "The house hasn't been the same without you, everyone misses you. Especially Severide, he's always here. He's been taking time off work and spending all his time here. He wants to be here when you wake up. It seems to be the only thing he cares about these days..." she paused. "He hasn't really been taking care of himself lately, he doesn't sleep much or eat, I'm surprised I actually managed to get him to leave long enough for a shower." She tightened her hand on Shay's. "I really hope you wake up soon. We really need you. Severide needs you. And I need my best friend." She fell silent for a moment. "You know, how they say coma patients can hear what's going on around them. I hope that's true." She said, releasing her hand and relaxing back into the chair. "Because I have a whole week of stories about recent calls to tell you all about. Hopefully hearing what you're missing will motivate you to wake up soon." Dawson launched into a story about how a guy managed to get his appendage stuck in a robot's hand.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Severide returned an hour and a half later, walking through her room door, a bag slung over his shoulder, freshly showered.

"You shouldn't be back for another half hour." Said Dawson as she watched him drag a chair to the other side of her bed.

"I didn't want to be gone longer than I had to." Severide said.

"Did you at least grab something to eat before coming back here?" asked Dawson.

"I had an apple." Severide answered.

"That's not what I meant when I said you should eat something." said Dawson. "I meant you need to eat an actual meal."

"You said I should eat something." said Severide. "I did."

Dawson was beginning to wonder if he was being difficult on purpose. "Fine, I'm going to go on a food run, get you something to eat." She stood up heading toward the door. "I know you want to be by her side when she wakes up but you have to start taking better care of yourself." She told him, pausing in the doorway. "If you won't do it for yourself at least do it for her."

Severide looked up from Shay to her. He didn't say anything but nodded his consent before turning his gaze back to Shay, her hand encased in both of his.

Dawson lingered in the doorway for a moment before continuing down the hall.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Two weeks later found a physically exhausted and emotionally drained Severide slumped over Shay's bed, head laying next to her hip, hands still clutching hers as he slept.

For weeks every second he wasn't on shift he was at her bedside, watching her for any sign of waking or movement so when he felt the hand he held in his move as if trying to pull out of his grasp, he snapped awake, sitting up quickly and saw as her hand twitched. "Shay?"

She gasped, her eyes fluttering open and began to gag on the tube that was down her throat.

Severide quickly pressed the button for the nurse as the heart monitor began to beat faster. "We need some help in here!" he hollered loudly, looking at Shay in concern, not knowing what to do.

He was about to call out for help again when a doctor and two nurses and several orderlies came barreling into the room.

The doctor and two nurses moved to her side while the orderlies escorted him out of the room asking him to give the doctor space to do his job, leaving him just outside her door watching on, anxious to know she was alright, terrified that she wasn't okay.

Severide stood and waited, hoping for the best, hoping they would tell him she was going to be fine, just wanting Shay to be okay. He wanted that more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.

Tags: @paws-in-the-night

#chicago fire #kelly severide #leslie shay #shayveride #shayveride fic #fanfic #severide and shay

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theundercovermarvelfan · 4 years

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Whumptober 2020 - Day 8

Boom! Caught up!

Whumtober Challenge @whumptober2020

Where Did Everybody Go? “Don’t Say Goodbye” | Abandoned | Isolation

Clint would never take physical touch for granted again.

Being sick was bad enough. Getting doused with a dangerous bioweapon in the middle of a mission was worse. Being confined to complete isolation on the medical floor of Avengers Tower was just plain miserable.

Clint had been dangerously sick for the first five days after his exposure. He honestly didn’t remember much of those days, having spent the majority of his time either unconscious or in a fevered delirium. Tony and Bruce had finally been able to synthesize an antidote of sorts, and Clint was finally on the mend, though it was still too risky to expose any of the other Avengers to the manufactured virus.

Clint still felt rundown with a nasty cough -- mostly he felt like he had a bad strain of the flu at this point -- but being stuck alone in this painfully sterile hospital room was starting to get to him. It honestly took a few days to figure out why he was feeling so restless. He had a television that Tony had hooked up with basically any movie or tv show he could ever watch. He had a StarkPad loaded up with games. Every Avenger had donated a handful of books for him to read. The rest of the team would also drop by usually once a day or so to stand on the other side of the large window that took up most of one wall of Clint’s isolation room and chat with him for a bit, though it was difficult to keep up significant conversations with his persistent cough. He had plenty he could do to fill his time, in theory he should be well occupied.

But as the days went on, he became more and more focused on the thick paine of glass between him and the rest of the world.

Doctors and nurses came into his room periodically to check his vitals and administer medications, but every person had to put on a biohazard suit and go through a decontamination chamber before and after entering the room. It only added to Clint’s feeling of disconnect from the world.

It was a week and three days after Clint’s initial infection. Clint was curled up on the bed in a nest on blankets that Natasha had brought him when out of the corner of his eye he saw a group entering the decontamination chamber attached to his room. This wasn’t anything out of the ordinary and he didn’t pay the group much attention as they entered the room.

Because of the biohazard suits, it took Clint until he was practically leaning over him to recognize the familiar face.

“Hey Clint,” Bruce said with a warm smile.

Clint felt the corners of his mouth tugging up weakly. “Hey, Doc,” he rasped, his voice especially rough from disuse. He curled in further on himself as he coughed hard.

Bruce gave him a sympathetic look. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay, I guess,” Clint mumbled with a small shrug as he automatically held out an arm to the doctor and nurse who had come in with Bruce so that they could take their usual blood sample.

Bruce frowned though. He glanced over at the television in the room, which was off. “Have you watched anything good recently?”

Clint glanced over at the tv as if to confirm that it was still there. “Hm. Not really.” He coughed, wheezing in a labored breath. “Nothing really good on tv I guess.”

Bruce nodded, though he looked unconvinced. He watched quietly for a minute as the doctor continued to take Clint’s vitals, Clint moving along mechanically, used to the routine.

“Are you reading anything?” Bruce asked, eyeing the books that were still stacked neatly next to Clint’s bed.

Clint stared blankly at the stack for a moment. He swallowed thickly. “I started that… that James Patterson book Steve brought,” he mumbled, waving a hand vaguely as he coughed weakly. “Couldn’t really get into it though.”

“Yeah,” Bruce said distractedly. “Is there anything else you need? Anything I can bring you?”

“No, I’m fine,” Clint mumbled. Because what he wanted was to get out of this room and be able to interact normally with other people again. And he knew that Bruce couldn’t help with that.

“Your vitals have dipped a little bit since yesterday,” the doctor reported, concerned. “Your fever went up a few degrees, your blood pressure dropped a bit.”

Clint blinked as he tried to absorb that information. “I’m getting worse?” he asked, his voice small.

“It’s probably just a minor setback,” the doctor said briskly, though Clint couldn’t help but notice the uneasy tone in his voice. “We’ll reevaluate your medication and will likely just have to make an adjustment to get you back on track.”

Clint nodded vaguely, though his heart twisted in his chest. He had at least thought that he was getting better. But this news meant that he might have to have an even longer isolation that they had originally thought. Clint blamed his fever for the fact that he couldn’t stop tears from gathering at the corners of his eyes.

“It’ll be okay, Clint,” Bruce assured him. “Tony and I will take another look at the antidote, see if there’s anything we can do to strengthen it, maybe be able to focus it to be more effective.”

“Yeah,” Clint murmured hoarsely, barely listening to Bruce at this point.

He had every faith in Bruce and Tony’s ability to cure the virus. But the thought of spending any more time secluded in this room clawed at Clint’s sanity.

“I’m going to check in with Tony,” Bruce went on. “But how about I come back and visit again in a little bit?”

At that, Clint’s gaze finally shifted to look directly at Bruce for the first time since he had first recognized him. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Okay. I’ll see you soon then.” Bruce reached out with a thickly gloved hand and gently patted Clint on the shoulder, giving him an encouraging smile before he turned and headed back out of the room.

Clint watched him go, staring at the empty decontamination chamber for a long time. He must have dozed off at some point, because when he woke up something was different. He was painfully aware of every detail of the room after spending so much time staring at these walls, so it didn’t take much for him to notice when something was different. But even if he hadn’t, it’d be difficult to miss the overstuffed armchair that was now pushed up in the cover next to the large window that looked out into the hallway.

Clint stared at the chair in confusion for a long time. Then, movement outside of the window caught his eye. Bruce walked into view, smiling and waving in at Clint before he reached over and activated the intercom into the room.

“Hey,” Bruce said. “How are you feeling?”

“‘Bout the same,” Clint rasped.

Bruce nodded, looking at him sympathetically. “Tony is taking another look at the antidote that we create. In the meantime, I thought I might have something else that could help. Do you feel up to moving over to the chair?”

Intrigued, Clint nodded and he carefully sat pushed himself over to the edge of the bed, wrapping a blanket around himself more securely. It took an unusual amount of concentration from Clint to coordinate his movements with dragging the IV stand he was hooked up to, but he managed to cross the few steps to the chair.

When he finally got himself situated, he looked up to find that Bruce had been arranging something in the hallway next to his window. There was now a chair and a small table sitting just on the other side of the glass.

On the table, Bruce was setting up a chess board.

“Do you feel up to a game?” Bruce asked.

Clint felt the first honest to goodness smile since he had gotten sick crossing his lips. “Yeah. You might actually have a chance of winning with me off my game.”

“That’s what I’m hoping for,” Bruce said with a broad smile as he settled himself into his own chair. “White has the first move.” He indicated the white pieces that were on Clint’s side of the board.

“Pawn to d-4,” Clint directed. Bruce reached out and made the move on the board. He paused and then moved his knight. Clint quirked an eyebrow. “Bold move.”

“I’m feeling lucky,” Bruce said with a grin.

Clint coughed as he thought over his strategy, his mind much more sluggish than usual. “Pawn to c-4.”

Clint lost the first game, immediately demanding a rematch. He won the second, but he suspected that Bruce had gone easier on him. He demanded a best out of three. The third game dragged on much longer than usual, with the two remaining neck and neck most of the time until finally Clint was finally able to corner Bruce’s king.

This quickly became a routine. Bruce came back at least three times a day in order to play chess with Clint. Natasha and Steve quickly started joining in the gameplay as well, and even Tony got in on it after a full day in his lab working on the antidote. They soon had a continuous tournament going on that only took breaks for Clint to sleep. And as the games continued, the glass between them started to seem thinner and thinner. And soon Clint found that despite the fact that he was still isolated, he was finally beginning to feel connected with the world again.

Two days after Bruce started the chess games, Clint fever finally broke. Three days and his vitals were almost back to normal. Five days and the door to his room opened to allow Bruce, Tony, Natasha and Streve to walk into his room without biohazard suits.

Clint eyes widened at the sight, momentarily panicked that his friends were risking getting sick.

“Good news!” Bruce said quickly. “With your vitals improving, it seems like the original antidote was able to finally clear out the rest of the virus. It’ll still likely be a few more days until you feel fully recovered, but as of right now we’ve confirmed that you’re no longer contagious. We can officially end the isolation.”

Clint grinned widely. “Really? I can really finally leave this damn room?”

“Yes,” Natasha confirmed, smiling. “We figured you’d want to get out of here as soon as possible, so we’ll help you pack up and move back to your room while you finish your recovery.”

“Thank you,” Clint said sincerely, glancing around at all his friends but then focusing on Bruce. “Thank you for bringing the chess set here.”

“Sometimes our own mind can be our worst enemy,” Bruce said soberly. “I could tell you felt depressed, and it could be the reason your vitals weren’t improving. I’ve always thought that when your mind is in a better place, your body is able to heal easier.”

Clint reflected on that. He had initially improved a lot when he had finally gotten an antidote, but then he had seemed to level off. It was only when Bruce had brought the chess set that he had finally started to improve again.

Everyone was busying themselves with gathering all of Clint’s things that he made their way into the room over the last two weeks. Bruce was helping Clint up out of bed, since he was still a little unsteady mostly due to lack of moving around the last couple weeks. And feeling Bruce’s bare hands helping to support Clint, it finally hit him.

It was over.

“Thank you, Bruce,” Clint said quietly, leaning into his friends, just reveling in the first real physical contact in weeks. “Thanks for everything.”

#whumptober2020 #no.8 #where did everybody go #isolation #Avengers #MCU #fic #sick tw #isolation tw #quarantine tw #hawkeye #clint barton #bruce banner #hulk #fanfiction #whump

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justjessame · 3 years

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Babysitting Butcher Chapter 55

Seeing Ryan, who had been so introverted and internalized, staring with rapt wonder at Billy was a sort of improvement. The male, the one who I could find no background on, seemed intent on hovering, until Billy turned and glared at him dead on.

“I think you’ll find the boy has my last name,” he growled, and I bit my lip as the overzealous guard backed off, and disappeared from sight at least. Ryan was practically vibrating, and Mrs. Davos had already faded away. “Let’s head into the room where you and Ronnie sat last time, eh?”

He was shooting me a look that screamed ‘help’ which only made me bite my lip a little harder. I raised my eyebrow and gestured for him to lead on, causing his nostrils to flare with exaggerated patience and I had to swallow a laugh. Dear God, this was NOT what I was expecting. Ryan sat, waiting with the patience of a ten year old for Billy to sit beside him, and so did I.

“Uh, Ronnie, Doc - I mean,” William Fucking Butcher looked like he was unsure of himself and I wished I could record it without making things even more weird. His eyes were on mine and if he could actually telegraph his words I was pretty sure they were ‘fucking HELP’.

“Ryan, Billy’s here to check in with you, but I’m going to be asking most of the questions again, is that alright with you?” If I didn’t take control, God knew we wouldn’t get anywhere. Ryan’s eyes met mine and he smiled, more at ease with me than he had at the beginning of our first visit. “OK, Billy, take a seat, please.”

Once Billy sat down, I took the chair across from the sofa that the two Butcher men were seated on, of course one wasn’t Butcher by blood, but Becca had given him that name for protection and because it was HER name. Ryan couldn’t take his eyes off of Billy and Billy looked as comfortable with the attention as most men would look at detonating an armed bomb.

“Ryan,” I hoped that I could at least keep the conversation moving, the dialogue going. His gaze met mine again, and I smiled. “I - we watched one of your stop-motion movies,” his eyes flashed back to Billy, seeking confirmation and he got a nod for it. “Do you not have what you need to make more here, or -” I left it open, I wanted Ryan to pick up the thread and explain why he’d stopped, why it didn’t seem as important now.

His eyes dropped, the shutting down started, and I glanced at Billy. “What is it?” Good, I thought, he’s catching on. “Ryan, why don’t you do it now?” Getting Billy to ask, to get involved could help get the gates opened, hopefully.

Ryan sighed and fidgeted, his hands not knowing what to do with themselves. “I made Mom’s favorite movies,” he peeked at Billy, timid of how the mention of Becca might be met, but seeing nothing other than a small nod for him to go on, he did. “She’s not here to -” his voice broke and so did a piece of my heart. Oh, shit. “I just thought -” his shoulder shrugged a bit and I shook my head.

“Did ya like doin’ em?” Billy’s voice was gruff, it always was, but this was just a touch rougher, and I knew it was from the reminder of their loss. Ryan looked up at Billy and I watched as the two of them studied one another for a few beats. “If you like doin’ em, then keep doin’ em. Your mom would want you to do what you like - to find happiness in something.”

Ryan didn’t say anything, he just stared at Billy like he was waiting for the punchline or the other shoe to drop. When none came, he turned to me. “Do you enjoy making them?” I asked, keeping my voice even and quiet. “You did a wonderful job on the one we watched.” I didn’t want to talk about all of them, telling Ryan I watched all of his stop action films wouldn’t really matter to him, not with his need for Billy’s attention.

I could see that he was trying to decide how to explain and Billy looked like he was about to ask another question, so I shifted slightly, causing his gaze to land on me. A slight shake of my head to warn him to keep quiet. Thankfully he took the hint and kept silent because Ryan found his words and we managed to keep the conversation flowing.

Ryan told us how he loved doing the movies, but without his mom beside him, urging him on, giving him the push and helping him, with the tiny touches and just giving him the confidence to keep going, felt wrong somehow. Without Becca beside him, keeping him steady, it wasn’t right.

“Ryan,” I was staring at Billy, getting the strength from just seeing his face to ask the question that I knew we needed the answer to, “have you had any feelings of -” I stopped, trying how best to ask it. “Have you had any sort of -” I couldn’t do it, I realized, I couldn’t ask this little boy if he’d lost control or if he noticed that he COULDN’T lose control.

Billy grabbed control of the reigns from me, thank fucking GOD, and found a way to ask what I couldn’t. “What the good doctor here is trying to ask, is -” he took a deep breath, and I knew it was just as difficult to bring it up, more so since it meant both of them would remember losing HER. “Have you found yourself getting upset and feelin’ like you felt when your mum,” their eyes met and I felt like I’d disappeared completely from the room. “Hey, it’s alright,” Ryan had started to fold in on himself, but Billy stopped him with a shaking hand on his shoulder. “You know she didn’t blame you.”

“She should have,” Ryan was shaking, almost rocking from the pain of the memory and I felt like the worst sort of interloper. “I killed her.” His eyes were glassy and I could feel how deeply he still felt it, the pain of what happened to his mom. “I killed her and now I have nobody.”

If anything would trigger his powers, an outburst, a reaction, THIS - the pain of the loss of his mother, the memory of how it happened should have caused SOMETHING. “Ryan?” I hated to interrupt, but I had to. “Do you know about the inhibitors?” His gaze met mine and my heart broke a little more when he nodded, affirming what I started to suspect as he spoke about the loss of Becca. “Did you agree to them?” Another nod and another crack chipped away. “Why?”

“So I wouldn’t hurt anyone else.” It sounded so simple, and to a child it was. But to an adult, and to the two that were seated with him, it was far more complicated and complex.

#billy butcher x ofc #the boys #alternate universe

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nickelkeep · 4 years

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Find a Little Fire

Pairing: Dean/Cas, other background pairings Rating: Teen+ Word Count: 6.3K Warnings: John Winchester. Written For: nickel’s storytime, and part 3 of the Runaway Series On Ao3

Dean never realized how slow two weeks could actually move. Granted, the say was that time is a construct, not a set thing. He could measure it in different ways, just like they did in that one song from that one musical. All Dean knew was that the time, until Cas would be cleared from bed rest, was too damn long.

And it wasn't as though they didn't talk. Dean made a point of exchanging numbers, so they texted, they spoke on the phone. Dean may have also made his way to the homestead a couple times after getting off of his shift, under the pretense of giving Cas a house call.

No one ever believed him.

Dean sat back at his desk, kicking his feet up as he watched the monitors mounted above his desk. Only room two and room five were occupied, and both patients were resting. Dean let his eyes drift shut slowly in anticipation of climbing home and getting into his bed.

"Is Dr. Vaugier in?" Dean's feet slipped off of the desk, thanks to the sudden voice in the relative quiet of the nurse's station. A deep, hearty chuckle sent chills down his back, and he looked up to a wolfish grin. "I'm sorry. That shouldn't be as funny as it was."

"Hiya, Cas." Dean smiled, for once not caring who saw his excitement at his... something?... being at his place of employment. "What brings you in today?"

"I'd like to say that I'm here to visit you, which I am, but I do need to see Madison. It's been two weeks, and although I was would be clear after two weeks, Gabe has decided that I still can't do anything without the doc clearing it." Cas leaned forward on the pony wall and smirked. "Plus, there's something I want to ask you after I see her."

Dean raised an eyebrow out of curiosity. "You can ask now."

"And kill the suspense? Wouldn't dream of it." Cas winked, albeit poorly, and stood back up straighter. "She hasn't gone home yet, has she? I know it's getting close to shift change."

"Nope. If I'm still here, that means she's probably still here." Dean picked up the phone and called the lunchroom, assuming that was where Maddie was still hiding. The phone rang, and the doctor picked up on the third ring. "What's up, Dean? I haven't heard anything about someone coming in."

"Walk-in, specifically asking for you, Doctor Vaugier. I can go set them up in room six if you'd like." Dean cracked a smile.

"Let me finish chugging this coffee, and I'll be right there." The phone disconnected, and Dean stared at it in feigned shock and disgust.

Cas waved his hand in front of Dean's face. "Uh, you alright there?"

"Madison has coffee, and isn't sharing." Dean frowned when Cas' face twisted, clearly holding back laughter. "Yuck it up, furball. Let's go. Room six." Cas' resolve broke, and he burst into laughter.

Together, they walked down to the examination room. Once inside, Cas slid off his shirt and hopped onto the bed. "Do you think she's going to ask me to shift?"

"It's always a possibility." Dean swallowed, quickly taking the conversation to hide the fact he was staring at the Were. "So, how are you feeling, honestly? And I just don't mean physically."

"Are you asking about..." Cas' finger wiggled back and forth between the two of them. "Whatever this is?"

"Yeah–" Dean started to comment as Maddie wrapped on the door. It swung open, and all five-foot-seven of the doctor came striding in.

"Castiel! It's good to see you, I hope." She stole a glance at Dean before crossing over to Cas. "To what do I owe the honor?"

"I look good, I feel good, I know my strength is back, and I'm restless. Gabriel won't let me do anything around the homestead unless you clear me." Maddie started to speak up, and Cas held up his hand. "And he specifically said it had to be a doctor clearing me. Otherwise, he'd figure that I was using Dean."

"Would he not have accepted it from Bess?" Madison shook her head. "Or is he just sick of Dean coming by the homestead all the time?"

"Hey!" Dean cut in. "I resent that remark."

Maddie tried her best to put on a severe face and stared at Cas. "I think he means resemble, right Cas?"

"Absolutely." Cas nodded enthusiastically.

"Traitors. Both of you." Dean shook his head and handed the doc a stethoscope. "Do I need to go step outside?"

"Why, so you can just text Cas from out there? Don't think I don't know what you're doing on your phone at night, Dean." Maddie shook her head and laughed. "I need Cas here to stay calm, so I can read his vitals right. While I know you think that you and your texts are funny, I'm not sure he thinks they are."

Dean scoffed. "I think I'm adorable."

"Keep telling yourself that, Dean." Cas took in a deep breath as Maddie instructed him to do. "You may just believe it." He exhaled slowly, winking - yet again - as he caught Dean staring.

"I don't know how, with all the texting and talking you two do, you haven't scared the other off yet. Granted, it is the first thing in the morning." Maddie's nose scrunched up in amusement as she finished checking Cas' lungs. "Hold this one for as long as you can."

Dean watched in wonder as Cas inhaled deeply and sat calmly for almost a minute. As Cas breathed out slowly, Dean found Cas staring at him, and the pair locked eyes. Dean still couldn't get over how blue Cas' eyes were, and the color had become prominent in his dreams over the past two weeks.

"Alright, Cas. I just need to check your temperature, but as long as you're honest and not having problems shifting or walking, I'm fine with feeding you to the wolves," Maddie smirked. "Pun entirely intended."

"Thank goodness. Can I get it in writing? Or do you mind calling him?" Cas' eyes had turned hopeful. "I need to do something other than just mope in my room."

Maddie nodded. "I have his number. I'll go call him real quick." She pointed at Dean. "No funny business."

"Right. What am I going to do?" Dean rolled his eyes as Maddie left. He turned to Cas. "Ready to actually do things?"

"You have no idea." Cas slid his shirt back on, and Dean fought to keep himself from frowning. "So, I do remember having a conversation with you about two weeks ago."

"I may vaguely remember that conversation." Dean fought against smiling. "Perhaps you could remind me."

"Of course." Cas pushed himself off the examination table and stepped into Dean's personal space. "You had mentioned wanting to get to know me, and I mentioned wanting to discover Sioux Falls." Cas pulled playfully on Dean's badge. "I know we can't do much today, you're about to get off work, so I know you're tired, but I thought - maybe - you could show me a good place to get some breakfast?"

Dean suddenly found himself famished. "I know just the place, Cas." A cough caused Dean to jump, and he turned to shoot daggers at the person who walked in. "Hello, Garth."

"So, this is why Madison sent me in." Garth laughed. "She's on the phone with your brother, Cas. But you're good to go."

"Thank you, Dr. Fitzgerald."

"And Dean, Bess is ready for you to pass off your report." Garth turned and walked out of the exam room.

Dean waited until Garth left and ran his hand down his face. "So. You drive here, Cas?"

…

Cas' mind was set. He was going to have a great day. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. He got Madison to clear him, personally calling Gabe herself. Dean was excited to see him, and they were going on their first date. Well, Cas hoped that Dean would consider it a date. Breakfast after a long shift wasn't necessarily the most romantic of venues.

Dean had taken his phone and plugged in the address for a place called Andrea's Diner into his GPS. As Dean had handed the phone back to Cas, Cas watched as Dean's eyes moved, traveling down to his lips, and briefly pausing there before moving back to look Cas in the eyes.

Cas had wanted nothing more than to kiss Dean while still in the exam room. However, he refrained, knowing that Dean needed some sort of decorum to keep intact, especially after Garth had walked in on them, practically pressed together.

He let out a sigh as he pulled into the parking lot of the diner. It looked like it was straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting, the chromed exterior, and the blood-red neon sign flashing Andrea's out front. Cas stepped out of the car and walked up to the door. Entering the diner, he was hit with the scents of fresh baked goods, deep-fried treats, and even some things that would probably be on a special menu for creatures like him.

Cas walked up to the hostess stand and asked for a booth before being led to one tucked back in a corner. He made mention to the hostess that he was waiting for someone, and she promised to keep an eye out. As he leaned back in his seat, finding the section of the menu that catered to Weres, Cas found himself surprised when he heard people - not a person - slide onto the bench across from him.

"Well, if it ain't Castiel." A warm Cajun drawl caused him to put his menu down.

"Benny, Sam." Cas offered his hand across the table, taking their hands and shaking them. "It's nice to see you both in more pleasant circumstances."

"I was just at the homestead with Maddie like two days ago." Sam shot Cas a look that he couldn't quite discern. "That wasn't pleasant?"

"Lay off him, brotha." Benny gently shoved Sam. "Clearly he's up and about which means he's gone and got himself off of bed rest. That's gotta be better than just laying around all day."

"Thank you, Benny." Cas relaxed a little. "That's what I meant. I went to the hospital this morning to get Madison to clear me. Gabe insisted."

Sam shook his head. "Had nothing to do with Dean being there also?"

"Well, that was clearly an added benefit." Cas tilted his head in confusion. "Am I not supposed to go and say hello?"

"No, of course you can." Sam sputtered slightly before pushing forward. "What I mean is that you know. I, uh. He and I live together."

"I'm aware." Cas had to hold back a chuckle as Benny smacked his forehead. "I also know that Madison has come to stay with you a couple times this past week."

"Woohoo, this is gettin' spicy." Benny turned in his seat and looked at Sam. "You seriously gonna have this talk with our wolf pal here, considering he's got your number?"

Sam glared at Benny before looking at Cas again. "I'm assuming that Dean told you."

"As you're clearly aware, we've been talking." Cas closed the menu and rested his elbows on top of it, before resting his chin on his knuckles. "What's your concern, Sam?"

"Dean. I mean, I guess that part is obvious, but it's about how Dean's been acting." Sam ran his hand through his hair. "Have you done any research into witch bonding?"

"I understand that in order for a witch to cast a spell on a living, breathing, being, they must create a bond with said being. The bond passes magic through. In Dean's case, and I'm assuming yours, it's healing magic." Cas raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "I know there are concerns about the two of us being bonded more permanently because of how much magic he used to heal me."

"That's only part of it. Are you aware of the equivalent exchange aspect?" Sam questions.

Cas sat up straighter in his seat. "And what do you know about Werewolves, Sam? I understand you're an EMT, and you're able to treat us on the fly, but what do you honestly know about us, besides our anatomy? Has Madison told you anything yet?"

Benny shook his head. "Careful where you tread, Sam."

"Look, I'm just worried about my brother. I haven't seen him this... content, in years." Sam pointed at Cas, and Cas noted how Sam avoided his question. "I hope it's just because you two are getting to know each other, and not because of him accidentally bonding himself–"

"Cher!" A female voice interrupted, and Cas quickly looked to his side. A gorgeous woman with long black hair had come up to the table. Unlike the rest of the staff, she was dressed in a billowy white top tucked into black pants. Cas stole a glance at Benny, whose face had set into a wide grin. "I didn't see you or Sam walk in! Why aren't you back at the family table?"

"Andrea, this is Cas." Benny pointed to Cas. "Cas, this is my wife, Andrea. She's been puttin' up with my ass for almost 200 years now."

"Longer, Cher. We knew each other before we were married." She smiled sweetly, then looked carefully at Cas. "Oh, my sweet loup-garou. Are you the Were that was attacked?"

Cas frowned. "Does everyone know who I am?"

"'Fraid so, brotha. While we have a variety of creatures in this town, the highest population is of Weres. So I imagine that everyone knows about a new pack comin' in, and how y'all came in."

"Plus, your pack has already started to get around town and explore. Considering you've been stuck up on the farm and couldn't really get around? It's not going to take long to figure you out." Sam shrugged.

"Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable." Andrea rested her hand on Cas' arm. "What can I get you?"

"I'm waiting for Dean, but thank you." Cas frowned.

Andrea tapped his chin with her pen. "Turn that around for me, Cher." She pointed at Sam and Benny. "Get your asses back to the family table and leave this poor boy alone."

Cas watched as Sam and Benny looked properly chastised with Andrea merely telling them to leave him alone. He waited until she was out of earshot before speaking again. "You guys don't actually have to go."

"Oh no, we do." Benny nodded fervently. "Andrea is my partner in every sense of the word, except here. Here she's queen, and her word goes."

"Is that so?" Out of the corner of his eye, Cas saw Dean approaching the table. Dean held his finger up to his lips, and Cas continued speaking. "So does that make this her castle?"

"Don't let Benny fool you." Dean boomed his voice behind his brother and friend, and Cas laughed as the two of them jumped in their seats. "Anywhere Andrea is, is her castle."

"Jesus, Cher. Tryin' to scare me back to life?" Benny grasped at his chest as Sam shot his brother a death glare. "I ain't survivin' today, Sam."

Sam slid out of the seat and pulled at Benny's arm. "We should get back before Andrea comes out and finds us anyway." He shot a pleading look at Cas. "Enjoy your breakfast, guys."

No sooner than Benny had slid out of the seat and stepped away, Dean took his place. "Sorry about that, I was doing the shift swap with Bess, and we had one of the young harpies come in with a broken wing. I helped get her into a room and settled before leaving."

"It's all good, Dean." Cas forced a smile and offered his hand across the table. He relaxed slightly when Dean took it and squeezed. "I'm glad that you're vital to this community."

Silence hung in the air between them for a few moments, and Dean spoke up. "Cas, what's up?"

"What do you mean, what's up?" Cas shifted in his seat and forced himself to meet Dean's eyes.

"Something's bothering you." Dean laced his fingers into Cas' to keep him from escaping. "I mean, I can see the way that your smile doesn't meet your eye, but something just feels off. You're putting off an energy of disappointment."

"You're getting that, how?"

A blush filled Dean's cheeks. "Uh, I feel it. Off of you."

Cas' heart sunk. He told himself he was going to have a great day, but instead, he had jinxed himself. "So, the bond is still there." He hung his head and ran his finger along a not-so-interesting line of fake marbling.

"It appears so. Does that bother you, Cas?" Dean ran his thumb along Cas' knuckles, gently petting him.

"It does. What if this thing we're feeling isn't real? What if it really is just the bond working?" Cas frowned, "I don't want you to feel trapped with me."

Dean's eyes widened, and Cas felt himself wanting to move closer, wanting to comfort Dean. "Dude, Dean shook his head. "Didn't we legit have this talk, but from my perspective?" Dean waited for Cas to nod. "I'm the one who bonded us. You're the one who's been reassuring me that you do, in fact, want this. You suggested that we take this slow and that we get to know each other."

"I know." Cas gently squeezed Dean's hand.

"Do you not want to get to know me anymore? Are you already over it? I get that I'm pretty lame." Dean smiled, and while Cas could feel it hurting Dean, he could feel the honesty.

"I never said that, Dean. I just–"

"Then we keep moving slow. One foot in front of the other." Dean laughed out loud, and Cas found relief washing over Dean before it flooded him. "I get that this? It's not a common way for two people to meet each other, or get to know each other, but I want to try."

"I agree, Dean. I want to get to know you." Cas let himself relax again and hoped that it washed over Dean the way that Dean's relief washed over him. "And you promise you'll tell me if things aren't working?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die." Dean held up his fingers in the scout's salute.

"Hey, no dying in my diner. It scares away the customers." Andrea returned to the table, order pad in hand, and only privy to that last sentence of the conversation. "What can I get you two?"

…

Dean was surprised how long he had stayed with Cas at the diner. He had figured they would grab a quick bite and a drink, but Dean found himself not wanting to leave Cas' side. A part of that, he knew, had to be because of the bond.

The bond. There was something so strangely profound about it. It felt like more than an ordinary healing bond that he made with patients. Dean was nearly sure that it was because of the amount of magic he poured into healing Cas, into removing as much silver as he could. Yet the bond now had grown and changed and flourished. And it was apparently scaring Cas.

While at breakfast, he could feel Cas' emotions. It didn't take much for Dean to figure out that Sammy had said something to Cas, which made Cas doubt himself. Feeling and seeing the worry in the werewolf's eyes was unnerving to Dean. Not in that he could feel them, but the fact that Cas had those feelings at all. It had been Cas who want to try and pursue this bond thing between them.

It left Dean to wonder. If Cas doubted it, why was he, the white witch that accidentally forced the bond, now wanting to push it?

Led Zeppelin blared from his car speakers as Dean forced him to stay awake. He sang along to Black Dog while he worked on keeping his focus sharp, and only let up once he was home. Dean pulled Baby into her parking spot before turning down the music. As he climbed the stairs to his apartment, Dean felt a small sliver of hope shoot through him. Considering what he was thinking about, Dean briefly wondered if the emotion was Cas'.

Dean stopped in front of his apartment, hesitating for all of a moment before unlocking it and walking inside. Sam and Madison were curled up together on the couch. They look peaceful and content, and Dean silently cursed Sam for filling Cas with anxiety.

Quietly, Dean closed the door and watched the pair for another moment. He smiled as he realized that in all honesty, what they were finding was something he wanted.

Madison stirred slightly, opening her eyes and smiling at Dean. He waved and whispered, 'Sorry,' knowing that she would hear it before heading back to his bedroom. He closed his own door, crossing to the bed and collapsing on it, not bothering to change out of his outfit.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and blindly swatted at his nightstand, looking for his charger. He plugged his phone in and stared at it for a moment before pulling up his texts. Dean quickly scrolled through, finding his conversation with Cas over the past two weeks and smiled.

They had shared a lot about each other, either trying to force the bond to break or nurture it. Cas had told Dean about life with the pack, being on the run. About how his position as Den Protector left him with little time to do things like watching tv or movies. Dean talked about being raised on the road, although not why he was raised that way, and about his love of all things pop culture.

They had talked about music, about books, about siblings. And Dean realized, not once did he feel obligated to do that because of some bond he had with Cas. He may have at first, but as the weeks went on, he wanted to know Cas. Dean wanted to talk to Cas, to have Cas in his life as a friend, maybe even more.

Dean swiped back down and started typing out a message.

[10:30 AM From Dean]: Cas, I know when we left the diner, we had gotten back to a neutral point. We both have this fear that maybe the bond is doing something, maybe it's not. I don't know. But I need to say something I should have said before we parted earlier. [10:30 AM From Dean]: I'd rather have you, bond or not. I want to get to know you. And not just because of this metaphysical bullshit that happens to be my life.

Dean smiled as a sense of calm came over him. He laid his phone on the nightstand, hoping that if Cas responded back, he'd understand the delay in response. Dean rolled over, pulling a pillow to his chest, before dozing off.

…

A few hours later, Dean woke up to pounding on his door. "DEAN! DEAN! WAKE YOUR ASS UP!" Dean smelled the air and determining there was no smoke, lazily reached for his phone. Three PM. Less than five hours of sleep. He quietly cursed Sam's name for the second time that day and unlocked his phone to check his messages.

Text Messages: 3 Missed Calls: 6 Voicemails: 4

Dean ran his hand down his face and stared at his notifications in confusion. Who the fuck had been so desperate to call him. He pulled down the shutter to see the notifications and, since they were at the top, opened the texts first. All three were from Cas.

[11:00AM From Cas]: You're probably asleep by now, but I wanted to make sure I got my feelings straight. [11:04AM From Cas]: I agree that there was a small step backward. While I never wanted to stop getting to know you, I doubted the feelings between us. But as we walked back to our respective cars, there is one thing I realized. Bond or not, the happiness I feel when I spend time with you, the excitement I experience when you text me or call me? Those are real, Dean. And I want to keep getting to know you. [11:06AM From Cas]: Good things do happen, Dean, and I'm excited to find out what those things are. With you.

Dean's heart started beating a tattoo as his smile broadened across his face. The bond he made may have brought them together, but they were both on the same page, wanting to learn about each other before committing to anything.

"DEAN!" Sam banged on the door again, startling Dean. "WAKE YOUR ASS UP AND CHECK YOUR PHONE."

"What do you think I'm doing?" Dean mumbled to himself, as he protected the texts from Cas. He pulled down the notifications shutter and pressed on the missed calls. Bobby. Bobby. Unknown Number. Bobby.

Dean looked up at the door and realized that something was wrong. So very, very wrong. "Sam? It's unlocked."

The door opened, and Sam peeked in. "Uh, it's just me. I sent Maddie home. Neither of you are going into work tonight." He pushed the door open further and crossed into Dean's room. "Charlie and Ash both agreed to take the shifts later." He pointed at Dean's phone. "How many?"

"Six missed calls total." Dean turned his phone at Sam. "I haven't listened to the voicemails yet."

"Can you play them on speaker?" Sam sat next to Dean on the bed, causing Dean's anxiety to build.

"Do you know who the unknown number is, Sam?"

Sam nodded.

Dean pressed for his voicemails to open. The robotic voice came through the speakerphone. He closed his eyes as she repeated the information that he had four new voice messages. The first one started, and Dean relaxed slightly as Bobby's voice played.

"Dean, You're probably sleeping. Your brother better not be. I need you two awake ASAP.

"That's not so bad, right?" Dean clicked to play the next voicemail.

DEAN! I don't know why I'm yelling at this damn robot, but I need you to call me now. I'm going to keep calling between you and Sam, but you need to be awake, and you need to hear this from me before you find out on your own."

"I will say he was nicer to me on my voicemails." Sam shrugged.

Dean rolled his eyes and moved to the next message. As soon as Dean recognized the voice, the temperature in his room dropped below freezing, and he started shivering.

"Hello, Dean. You know it's not really nice to keep your phone number from your old man. I just wanted to let you know I'm going to be in your neck of the woods on some business. You're probably going to want to stay away from any of your freak friends. I got the proper permits to go after them, and there's no stopping me. I'll see you soon, boy".

Dean's stomach dropped, and he looked at Sam. "The proper permits?" Sam nodded and pointed at the phone.

"Dean, I finally got a hold of Sam. He still hasn't gotten a call, but I know you did. John's in town. He's been hired to go after a pack of Weres who were supposedly responsible for killing five people and injuring another out in Pontiac. He's coming after Cas' pack. I don't know who he bribed or what connections he has, but the permit is legit. I'm reaching out to an old friend out there who can prove they were Wendigo kills and get the permit revoked."

The call ended, and Dean immediately started to dial Cas' number. "Sam, can you call Bobby, tell him we're on the way?" Sam nodded and pulled out his phone, stepping out of the room to give Dean privacy. Cas picked up on the third ring, and Dean let out a sigh of relief.

"Dean, shouldn't you still be sleeping? It's only–"

"Cas, there is no time to explain. Your pack is in trouble." Dean interrupted, his words quickly exploding out of him. "A shady as fuck hunter was either able to bribe someone or exploit someone and got a permit to hunt Werewolves. I know this jackass doesn't normally go through the legal routes, but he knows he's wanted in Sioux Falls, and the permits give him immunity."

"Wait, what?" Dean could clearly picture Cas' head tilt, and it pained him that he wasn't there. "Immunity from what?"

"He's allowed in the town, and he can legally hunt you guys until he deems the pack destroyed. He's not going to come after you guys, he's going to try and kill all four packs. Or at least take as many of the Weres in town out as he can." Dean stood up and started pacing his room. "This guy is dangerous and unstable, and knows how to negate magic."

The silence between them was deafening. Dean wasn't sure if Cas had muted him and was shouting out directions, or if the call had disconnected. He started to speak when Cas' voice came quietly over the phone.

"It sounds like you know a lot about this guy. That he's caused issues in the past." Another pause. "Who is he, Dean?"

"He's my father, Cas. Mine and Sam's." Dean shut his eyes and squeezed, ready for Cas to yell or scream at him. After a moment of silence, Dean spoke up again. "Cas? Say something, man."

"It sounds like we have an advantage," Cas responded calmly. Dean held his breath, waiting for Cas to start yelling at him. "What do we need to know or do?"

"He uh... He's..." Dean stopped and knew he was going to regret his next words. "Why aren't you yelling at me?"

"Why should I be yelling at you?" Cas' confusion was evident in his voice.

Dean pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it, making sure he had called the right number despite knowing he was on the phone with Cas. "Because it's my father?"

"Dean, we've known each other all of two weeks. That's not a lot of time to tell me your full life story." Cas breathed out a rough chuckle. "I will start yelling at you if you don't tell me what we need to do. You're shaken. I can sense it. If you're scared, then I know I need to take this seriously."

"Thank you, Cas. I'm making a pit stop by Bobby's, and then I'm going to come to you at the homestead. In the meanwhile, I know that Gabriel had people work on fixing the bunker under the silo. Get all of your pack there and lock it down." Dean swallowed roughly, fighting down a million feelings threatening to unload. "John Winchester is a bull-headed asshole. He won't stop to think of other ways to get to you guys, he'll just try to brute force his way after you all."

"And when you get here? What's your plan?"

"I don't know yet, Cas. But the more time we waste on the phone, the more time he has to sneak up on you. Go." Dean paused, hesitant to hang up the phone. "Be safe. Please."

"Same could be said for you, Dean. I'll see you soon."

…

Cas stared at the phone in his hand. Dean's father was not only a hunter, but the hunter coming after his pack, and possibly even the hunter who had filled him with silver buckshot. And Dean thought that Cas would hate him for it.

Shaking his head, Cas pocketed his phone and ran to Gabe's room before banging on the door. "Gabe, we have a problem!"

"Hold on, Cassie!" A couple of moments later, Gabe opened the door in a robe. "What's so bad that you can't take care of it?"

"There's a hunter coming for us. He went through the legal channels to get a permit." Cas watched as Gabe went through the seven stages of grief in less than ten seconds. "Dean and Sam are working on getting him out of town, but Dean believes he's going to go after all the packs."

Gabe looked over his shoulder. "Meg, we gotta move. Now." He turned back to Cas and frowned.

"Find Anna, have her round up the kids, there's a–"

"A bunker under the silo, I know. Dean told me." Cas licked his lips and let out a worried sigh before leaning into Gabe to whisper in confidence. "The hunter is their father, Gabe. Dean warned me that he can negate magic, and he's not usually known for going through the proper channels."

"So the wards on the perimeter?" Gabe frowned.

"Will barely slow him down. I don't know anything about his skill at negating magic, but considering both his sons are witches? It's probably really fucking high." Cas frowned. "Gabe, go get dressed, we need to make sure you and Meg stay safe and get you in the bunker now."

Cas turned and bolted back down the hallway banging on doors. "Pack meeting in the foyer! Now!" He stopped in front of Anna's door and shoved it open. Anna was grabbing a bag and filling it. "I know, Cas. Pack bond. What am I doing?"

"So, you know what's going on, but not what you're supposed to do?"

"I started to panic!" Anna threw her hands up in frustration. "Just tell me what I need to do."

"Go round up the kids, get them in the bunker. I also need you to make sure that Gabe doesn't do anything bull-headed." Cas dragged his hand down his face. "Inias is one of the ones converting that old storage building into apartments, right? He's living in there?"

"Yeah. His room is the second one in on the left."

Cas kissed his sister on the cheek and ran out again. He sped out past the rest of the pack gathering in the foyer, hoping that Gabe would tell them what was going on. In the worst-case, he knew Anna would.

The building that the pack was working on converting sat next to the barn. Cas found himself stripping out of his clothes and shifting to cut the time it would take to get there in half. He skidded to a stop in front of the door and scratched at it, pushing through the pack bond for Inais to come let him in.

"Castiel? Why are you in wolf form?" Inais had opened the door and was squatting down next to Cas instantly. He placed his hand on Cas' head, taking a moment to listen to Cas as he explained everything he knew. "I'll gather everyone here, Castiel, but your Aunt Amara? She's going to need you to convince her to come."

Cas whimpered and paced in front of Inias. "Can you at least tell me where she is?"

"She found a glade, but she won't tell anyone where it's at. She said at her age, she's allowed a private place. I'm sure if you know," Inais tapped the side of his nose. "You can find her."

"Fuck." Cas howled in frustration and started back towards the main house. He was relieved to find the pack quickly evacuating, but frustrated to see Gabe leading it. He shifted back to human form and walked up to his brother. "You're supposed to be in the silo."

"Under the silo, Cassie, under it." Gabe gently touched the shoulder of one of the younger wolves, keeping them moving. "I'll go now since you're here. I already sent Meg ahead."

Watching as the last of the pack exited the house and made their way to the silo, Cas shifted back into form and ran towards the woods that lined the one side of the farm. If there were any glades to be found, they would be there. He sprinted through the trees, realizing how much he had missed being able to just run. He knew it was an inappropriate time to have that thought, but the wind through his fur, the moss and dirt under his paws, the scent…

He smelled his Aunt. Cas made a sharp turn and followed the scent to an opening in the trees. In the center, his Aunt Amara was in human form, sitting in the Lotus position with her eyes closed.

"Castiel."

"Aunt Amara, we need to go." Cas walked up to her and bumped against her arm with his snout. "Please. There's a hunter on his way."

"I'm well aware, Castiel. His aura taints these woods." She opened her eyes and gently scratched behind Cas' ear. "He's trying to destroy the magic that we are using to ward our home, but I won't let him do it."

"He knows how to negate magic, Aunt Amara. If he gets too close to you..." Cas sat on his haunches next to her and whimpered. "From what I've been told, he won't care what you are, he'll shoot first and ask questions later."

"Your Dean told you this, didn't he?" Amara rested her forehead against Cas' and pet his side. "I'm not surprised. He's afraid of what he does not understand. Including his own sons."

A branch snapped nearby, and both Cas and Amara's attention locked to it. Cas sniffed the air and found himself unnerved not by what he smelled, but by what he couldn't smell. "Please, Aunt Amara. There's no time. We can stay safe if we leave now."

"You've always been such a good member of the pack, Castiel. You knew when to obey and when to question. You always did everything to keep those you love safe." Amara sighed. "Very well, let's get to the safe house."

The sound of a long rifle racking froze them both in their place.

"I don't think either of you are going anywhere."

#profoundnet #spncreatorsdaily #spn fanfic #destiel #deancas #deancas fic #au - modern with magic #au - creatureverse #witch!dean #nurse!dean #werewolf!cas #rating: t #tw: john winchester #nickel writes

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