#let's pretend it's 2014 all over again
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tfw your biggest fans are the au versions of yourselves
#much ado about nothing#doctor who#nothing much to do#nmtd#THIS WEEK#STARTING THIS WEEK!!!#GET YOUR GLAD RAGS ON#let's pretend it's 2014 all over again#the candle wasters#substack#dracula daily#lovely little losers#lolilo#MG
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Hey it's been a hot minute, I'm gonna go off about Helldivers 2 for a bit, because the whole thing fascinates me.
Funnily enough it's not even the actual game itself that truly fascinates me, as great as it is. I do genuinely think that, while not perfect, it's a very solid game that knows what kind of experience it wants to deliver, and does a fantastic job delivering on it. The Starship Troopers-esque satire is hilarious, and I love how much the gameplay reinforces that satire through things like reinforcements canonically being a whole new Helldiver sent into the meat grinder, and that the mission still counts as a celebrated victory even if you never make it back alive. I could even talk about how the objectively clunky system for calling in orbital support is actually a positive for the game, but only this game and the type of experience it's selling.
But none of that is what fascinates me about this game so much. Because y'see, I played the first Helldivers game, and it was also a great bit of fun! It's actually why I was interested in the second one to begin with. But I also know that the first Helldivers was not a very wide reaching game, none of Arrowhead's games have been. They've not done poorly by any means, they're still in business and have been for over a decade now. But they've always been fairly niche affairs. Until now. To really sell the picture, I wanna rattle off player counts for their previous games:
Magicka in 2011, Arrowhead's first big game and published by Paradox, had an all-time max player count of 11,727 players according to SteamDB. I don't believe it was on any other storefronts, but I could be mistaken. A quick wikipedia visit tells me that the game sold roughly a million units over a year which, again, not bad! Especially for a game that is admittedly fairly unusual, but is a lot of fun!
The Showdown Effect in 2013, which I only just found out about right now after double checking my numbers, had a all time high of just 3,284 according to SteamDB, and is now delisted from Steam. Though apparently there's a remake from another company happening? There's a lot less info on this one in general.
Gauntlet in 2014, this one I do know a bit more about since I also played this one. A remake of the original 1985 game, and was a good bit of fun as well! This one is trickier to get an accurate player count reading, because it did have a PS4 release and those are harder to find numbers for. Regardless, it was also on Steam, so therefore I can use those numbers at least, which gives me a max consecutive player count of 12,730. I don't know how much PS4 factored into this.
And now we get to the real interesting one: Helldivers 1. Again, this is tricky because not only was it on console, but it was actually on console before it was ever on PC, which heavily skews numbers. SteamDB has the peak at just 6,744, but this doesn't sit right with me. I've seen estimates of 50k people around the place, some say 35k, but never a solid source. It's also very difficult to search atm because of how much Helldivers 2 is blowing up. Speaking of...
So Helldivers 1 is their most popular game, and I'll be generous and say that the 50k count is the accurate one. So surely Helldivers 2 can't be that much more- oh I'm not even going to pretend, you already know what's going on here. The game has reached ~450k concurrent players just on Steam alone! And the game also exists on PS5, and if I recall correctly: there's official statements saying that the player counts are roughly equal with each other. That means a peak of ~900,000 individual players. To illustrate how bonkers batshit insane that is, motherfucking Fortnite has a current consecutive player count of roughly one million.
Let me reiterate: a game that came out of basically nowhere with little marketing, from a small studio with only about 100 employees, is rivaling the juggernaut that is fucking Fortnite. That is insane.
As someone who has played all of Arrowhead's previous games besides The Showdown Effect, this is bonkers. There's a reason the sentiment was "there's no way to have predicted this" when the servers were at their worst, because look at the previous data! How is anyone supposed to predict a sequel to a niche game (from a company very few people have heard about) to get a ~1800% increase in max player count? Their initial server capacity was 250k, which would've been very optimistic if you were just going by Helldivers 1 numbers. But then that wasn't enough. And then 360k wasn't enough. And then 450k wasn't enough. We're now at 700k server capacity and just finally getting things under control. This game just exploded in a way no one could have reasonably predicted. And I have no idea why this is the case either.
I'm not saying it's not deserved; it absolutely is! Like I said, game is great, and there's not even any shitty business practices I can bitch at this time! It's just so sudden and out of nowhere that it baffles me. Such a small percentage of these players would've even heard of the first game, let alone played it. It didn't have a massive marketing campaign, this is pretty much all spread through word of mouth, which is insane in its own right. It's not even like the game is entering an untapped market, it shares its existence with games like Deep Rock Galactic, Vermintide, Darktide, the actual Starship Troopers game, probably some others I'm forgetting. And yet, despite all of this, it breached containment something fierce. I don't have a big conclusion to make from all this, I'd love to be able to say "oh people are just getting tired of Triple A- oh I'm sorry, Quadruple A gaming and this is a breath of fresh air" and it is that, as was Baldur's Gate 3, but I'm not naive enough to think that's the main reason. Not when so many other great games continue to go undiscovered, and so many people still end up buying whatever the next big Triple A thing is. It's a great game to play with friends, and there's a lot going for it and a lot of charm, but such is also the case for the other games I already listed in this paragraph and they don't see the same popularity.
Whether it's just dumb fucking luck, or a really oddly specific set of circumstances at play that I can't see, I'm just dumbfounded and flabbergasted. But I'm not exactly gonna complain. It's fun getting sent into the meat grinder to spread Managed Democracy, and I'm glad the game is doing as well as it is, though I do hope that the devs get to have a bit of rest once the dust finally settles a little bit.
#helldivers#helldivers 2#seriously if they ever need to update the example sentence for the word “unprecedented” this would be a solid candidate#this has genuinely kept me up at night before just thinking about how wild it is compared to all of Arrowhead's other games#let alone compared to just Helldivers 1
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can you post newt x female reader smut? i had a look at your wattpad and noticed that you already had some but it's in the old style (i'm assuming it's your old style) and i really like how you write now (the stuff you post on here). obv only if you're comfortable with it, btw i love your work!
First of all, I'm glad you like my stuff! Secondly, I sure can! I've got some brand new things I cooked up a while back, and I would be delighted to share the love xxx
Just like that
Series masterlist, masterpost
Newt x fem!Reader
Maze Runner (2009 novel - James Dashner, 2014 film - Wes Ball)
Word count: 2318
Summary: shameless Newt smut. Enjoy.
Content: smut. Porn with like the tiniest hint of a plot. Friends with benefits type beat. Making out, blowjobs, hickeys, light praise kink (kind of), light dirty talk, masturbation (kind of), hair pulling (reader is the puller), cowgirl position (sort of??? Idk??), al fresco lol
Notes: I’m so sorry I have no idea how to tag this stuff. Literally what’s in “content” is in it, there might be stuff that I forgot so I apologise but it’s basically just what you’d expect from smut (I’m pretty basic)
You were kissing Newt. Or maybe Newt was kissing you, since he’d started the whole thing when he had put down the now empty cup of hot tea the two of you had been sharing, sheltered behind the partially rotted corpse of a massive tree, and taken your chin between his strong fingers, turned you to face him, then very deliberately pressed his lips against your own. You’d just smiled and let him, giving as good as you got. He still tasted like the drink, the sweetness of the honey you’d insisted on adding coating his mouth. And so it was that you came to be locked in a soft embrace now, with your movements lazy and relaxed as you took your sweet time exploring each other.
It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence; you liked Newt and he liked you, and both knew it. It was nice to have a sort of outlet every now and then, someone who you didn’t have to pretend to be anything other than yourself around, and who didn’t pretend around you. And that’s what Newt was, and what he had been for some time, ever since a few months ago when the two of you had found yourself drunkenly making out behind the homestead while the other Gladers enjoyed a bonfire.
Now, Newt’s hand had found its way to your breast, tracing circles over the material of your shirt and making your skin prickle. You traced a line along his jaw, your finger trailing down his neck to rest on his shoulder. You shifted yourself slightly, angling your body further towards him to ease the suggestion of a stiffness threatening to grow in your neck if you kept up your current position much longer. Newt’s mouth was still soft on yours, his tongue stroking your own lazily, but something about him was saying that he wanted more – or would soon.
“Do you want me to suck you off?” you asked, breaking the kiss. The two of you had decided a while back that being open and up front was the way to go – “candid,” Newt had stated solemnly, and you’d agreed.
He seemed to consider for a moment, then glanced around to check for anyone in the immediate vicinity. The fallen tree trunk you were sitting against wasn’t all that deep into the deadheads, and while it was huge and had served as an excellent shelter numerous times before, it never hurt to be careful. It wasn’t that either of you were ashamed of your standing with the other – your “situationship” you jokingly called it – it was just that it would be awkward to get caught.
Now, Newt smiled at you and nodded. “Yeah,” he said, placing another gentle kiss on your lips.
You returned the smile, slipping your hand under the waistband of his pants, massaging his cock gently. You felt him grow hard, and when you were satisfied, you deftly unzipped his pants. You smiled again, spitting into your palm and resuming your light ministrations.
Newt raised his eyebrows, clearing his throat. “Love, that’s wonderful, but quit teasing.”
“Magic word?” you grinned.
Your friend sighed, rolling his eyes. “Please,” he huffed.
You nodded, licking your lips before gently kissing the tip of his dick and lowering your mouth over the head. Newt gave a tiny moan – well, something between a sigh and a moan – and moved his hand to your hair, his fingers tracing patterns gently over your scalp. You really liked giving blowjobs to Newt; he was always so gentle and considerate, and it never even felt like you were “giving” him anything. Sure, his dick was in your mouth, but it was more like something you were doing with him, something nice and fun and extremely gratifying. Especially when he talked to you, which he was doing now.
“That’s it love,” he murmured as you swirled your tongue around him, your hands working what wasn’t already in your mouth. “God, you’re good at this.”
The praise lit a warm glow inside you, and you sank your head lower. Newt’s breath caught in his throat as you hollowed your cheeks, the tip of his dick now almost touching the back of your throat with every bob of your head, your hand still taking care of the base. It was as slow and laid back as your kisses had been just minutes before, and you loved every second.
You continued like that, basking in Newt’s grunts of “yes” and “fuck” and the occasional “God, (Y/N)” before his fingers slid from your hair to under your chin, prompting you to stop. You released him with a wet sort of “pop” sound, licking your lips delicately while still holding his throbbing cock in one hand. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright as he looked at you. Your own face was warm, matching the not entirely unpleasant heat you’d felt building between your legs.
“Take your pants off and come here.” He patted his lap, kicking his own pants further down his legs.
You grinned. “Is that an order or an invitation?”
“An invitation, since you never do anything I order.”
“It’s cause you never say please,” you deadpanned as you shuffled out of your pants, discarding them and your underwear to one side. You swung a leg over Newt’s hips, straddling him, and placed your hands either side of his face. “How’s this?”
“Yeah, not bad,” he nodded, his own hands easing your shirt upwards. You let him, lifting your arms obediently as he slipped the piece of fabric over your head and sent it the way of your pants. He kissed along the line of your bra, then, watching your face carefully, reached around and undid the clasp. He caressed your breasts softly, sweetly, and slowly. That really did seem to be the theme of the day.
“Hey,” you said after a moment when he made no move to take his own shirt off, your hand coming to rest over his. “How come I’m naked and you’re not?”
He shrugged, twisting his hand to entwine his fingers with yours.
“Hardly seems fair,” you breathed, sliding your hips over his.
Newt’s breath caught in his throat once more, and he rolled his eyes at you. “If you insist.”
“I certainly do.” You pushed his shirt up, pulling it deftly over his head and tossing it to the side before laying your palms against his warm skin. You knew there were things Newt liked more than his own body, but you’d never really understood why. Sure, he was skinnier than some of the other boys, and his leg was a continuous chip on his shoulder, but you thought he was hotter than anyone you could name off the top of your head and you made sure he was aware of the fact.
In fact, the first time he’d expressed anything resembling insecurity, you’d been watching him get dressed after a night well spent, idly pondering how perfectly formed he was, how smooth and seamless every movement was even with the addition of his limp. You’d been so caught up in watching the dance of his lithe muscles under his skin that you hadn’t even noticed the apprehensive look on his face as he turned away from you.
“Can you… not watch me?” he’d asked hesitantly as he pulled on his shirt.
“Huh?” you’d frowned, sitting up.
“You were staring, can you not do it?”
“Oh.” You’d felt your face colour and had looked away, embarrassed. “Sorry.”
“‘Sfine,” he’d said.
You’d asked why, hesitantly and as politely as you could. You just couldn’t work out why this boy, who was totally comfortable making you plead his name as your thighs squeezed around his shoulders and your fingers pulled his hair enough to make him moan (which was how you’d found out he liked his hair being pulled, but that was a story for another time), couldn’t deal with you watching him get dressed.
He’d shrugged, then turned around and spoken directly to the wall beside your head. “I don’t really like how I look.”
You were baffled to say the least, and had very nearly burst out laughing. “But you’re so…” you’d said instead, stumbling for the right words. “You’re so hot,” you’d blurted at last.
Newt had shrugged again, bending to lace up his boots. “Maybe to you.”
After that, you’d taken every opportunity – ones that weren’t too obvious, of course – to subtly express just how attractive you thought he was. From outright whispers of “fuck, you’re hot” mid tryst to casually proclaiming him gorgeous in the middle of a conversation, you really did take any chance that presented itself. And now was no different.
“Damn,” you smiled, bending to place a kiss on his collar bone. “You’re fucking sexy, you know that?”
“Look who’s talking,” he scoffed, but you caught the tiny upward twitch of his mouth. He brought your hand to his face, gently kissing your knuckles. You let a sigh escape you, rocking your hips over his once more. He was hot against you and the sun, now beginning to sink below the walls, caught in his hair, lighting it up in gold like some kind of halo. You’d hardly have been surprised if he sprouted wings right then and there.
“Quit teasing, (Y/N),” he half laughed, half growled. Then added “please” almost as an afterthought.
“Since you asked so nicely,” you smiled, the hand that wasn’t being held by him sliding down over his chest, his stomach, finally coming to rest on his dick once more. You carefully lined him up, and at his nod, sank gently onto his length.
You didn’t move right away, shifting your hands to the log either side of Newt’s head to steady yourself as you let yourself adjust. You rocked experimentally, earning a soft sigh and whispered “yes” from the boy under you.
“Just like that,” he murmured as you moved again. Another thing about Newt that you’d learnt was that he liked when you rode him like this, liked guiding your hips over his while showering you with kisses – and the odd hickey. He was doing it now, his hands gentle yet firm where they slid over the skin of your thighs and hips and waist, his mouth warm and silken where it roamed your chest and neck.
“Fuck, Newt,” you breathed, letting your fingers tangle in his hair. You didn’t pull it as such, just hinted at it. Still, Newt’s breath hissed between his teeth and he looked up at you from a particularly dark hickey at the curve where your neck met your shoulder, his eyes dark. You gave his hair the gentlest tug, tipping his head back and kissing his lips, his jaw, and down his throat.
Newt’s eyes were closed now, his breath shallow as you ran one hand down over his front, fingers skimming the subtle planes of muscle as a leaf skims the surface of a puddle. You kissed him again, slowly, your mouths melding perfectly together.
“Touch yourself,” he murmured against your lips. “I want you to cum.”
“I wanna make you cum,” you replied. It was true, you loved nothing more than watching Newt unravel because of you and only you, even if it was both of you doing the work.
He shrugged. “And I want you to get yourself off riding my dick, I want to watch you.”
“Ok.” You kissed him again, then slid the hand that wasn’t still tangled his hair down your own body to the heat between your legs. You bit your lip as your fingertips grazed your clit, stifling a moan.
“Don’t keep quiet,” Newt urged. “I wanna hear you too.”
God, this boy, you thought as you let yourself whisper a curse. Did he have any idea what he was doing to you? He probably did, actually, you reflected as your fingers rubbed tiny circles over your clit. You leant forwards to get a better angle, your chest brushing against Newt’s and your face inches from his own. He was watching you, his attention fixed only on you. You felt yourself twitch and your muscles began to tense as you found the perfect spot, the moans you let escape growing in frequency and volume.
“Move me,” you choked as you felt yourself teetering on the brink of your climax, every fibre of your being pulled taught.
Newt nodded, rocking your hips over his as your fingers continued their motion and you hung, suspended for a second before everything came crashing in on you.
“Fuck, Newt, oh my god,” you groaned as the orgasm flooded over you. You were dimly aware of him moaning your name and realised that your hand had tightened in his hair and that he was still moving you. “Keep going,” you sighed, cupping his face with one hand while the other continued to card through his hair, pulling occasionally.
“Mm, (Y/N) oh–” he broke off and you gave the handful of hair you had a firm pull, now taking over your own movements as he released inside you, bliss flooding his face.
You continued to slide your hips over his until your legs had ceased to shake and a little of the haziness had gone from Newt’s face, settling comfortably onto his lap. Wordlessly, you placed a soft kiss on his forehead, brushing the hair from his face and tracing patterns over his cheeks and neck, all the way down to his chest. He smiled at you, bending to sooth the dark marks he’d left on your skin with kisses of his own, holding you close against him.
“I love this,” he said at last.
You tilted your head to the side, nonplussed. “Having sex with me?”
He considered, nodded, then, “being with you.”
“I love being with you too,” you whispered as you kissed him again.
#Maze Runner#the maze runner#newt maze runner#tmr#tmr fanfiction#tmr fic#newt#newt x reader#fanfiction#fanfic#self insert fanfiction#maze runner fanfiction#reader insert#fem!reader#smut#maze runner smut
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Connected (Bang Chan) part 4
Pairing: BangChan x fem reader
wc: 2.3k
warnings‼️: smut‼️, minors do not interact‼️‼️*warning placed before scene*
summary: slow burn of Chan and fem reader. Chan runs into his past, how will it affect the present and his future?
This is part 3!!!
part 1
part 2
part 3
-----
“Where have you been?” Hyunjin is sitting on the kitchen island eating snacks, “It’s 11pm on a Monday. And Han and Changbin got home like 4 hours ago.”
“I was working.” Chan taking off his shoes, throwing them to the side.
“They said you left before them.” Hyunjin takes a bite of his apple, “So where were you actually?”
Chan takes off his jacket, placing it on the chair beside Hyunjin, “Why are you acting like a mom Hyun?” He opens the refrigerator to grab some leftovers.
“You went to see her, didn't you?” Hyunjin takes another bite, looking at Chan who freezes in his spot, “By your reaction, I’m taking that as a yes.”
Chan scratches his head and sits down “Look Hyunjin, this isn’t some romance story. I just went to see her, that's all.” He’s about to take a bite of his food before, “Wait, how did you know?”
Hyunjin leans back into his chair, “Felix and I were betting on it. Ever since you last saw her you look even more out of it.”
Chan shrugs and takes a bite of his food.
“So what did you do? Did you take her on a date? Surprise her at work with flowers?” Hyunjin finishes up his apple, “I wanna see what she looks like again. The girl who swooned Chan hyung.”
“I think she hates me.” Chan stares at his food, “Y/n, that’s her name. I think she hates me…and I kind of deserve it.”
This makes Hyunjin slowly sit back up, looking at his hyung, “Why would she hate you?” Genuinely curious at who could hate his hyung who’s nothing but kind.
“I treated her really badly.” Chan says before taking another bite, “I treated her so badly and pretended nothing was wrong. I pretended she didn’t exist.”
Hyunjin knew there was more to the story, but hearing this made his hopeless romantic heart ache. He wanted to know more, but he didn’t know where to start. And he especially didn’t want to pry.
“Yeah, you did.”
Hyunjin and Chan turn to look up at Minho leaning on the counter.
“Eavesdropping much.” Chan shakes his head, “I mean you’re not wrong but when did you even get here.”
“Felix is being too loud on his video games and I needed water.” Minho pours some water into a cup, then heads over to the table they were sitting at, “Don’t mind if I come and join this little therapy session for Channie, huh?”
Chan lightly laughs, “What are you gonna do rat me out to Hyunjin-ah? He loves me too much to think of me badly.”
Chan’s remark makes Hyunjin’s head tilt, “Okay well now I want to know, because I feel left out now. Who else knows besides Han and Lino hyung?”
“Just them two, and my family.” Chan continues eating his food.
“So am I allowed to ask questions or…” Hyunjin throws his apple away into the trash.
“Shoot.” Chan makes a gun with his fingers, inferring to go ahead.
“Who is she? How’d you meet? How long did you date?”
“I thought you were gonna ask about the breakup. Not the whole plot story.” Minho laughs. But the face of Hyunjin tells Minho and Chan that he really wanted to know.
Chan clears his throat, “Um well her name is Y/n L/n. I met her at this cafe her parents own, she was the first friend I made when I moved to Korea. I started dating her 3 years after I met her…we’re the same age…so when we were like 16…? I think we started dating in 2014.”
“That’s actually so cute. First love.”
“That’s so young. Young love.”
Minho and Hyunjin speak at the same time (I’ll let you guess who said what). They look at eachother rolling their eyes. Chan continues eating, looking unbothered.
“So why did you break up with her?” Hyunjin asks next.
“Chan hyung, didn’t break up with her. She broke up with him.” Minho reaches and takes some of the snacks in the middle.
“What? Really??” Hyunjin holds his mouth in shock, “So why do you portray yourself as a bad guy if she’s the one that broke your heart.”
“Um… maybe because I broke hers first.” Chan finishes his food and starts to get up, “I think that’s enough storytelling for tonight, it’s almost 12 and we have a pretty busy day tomorrow.”
“You can’t leave me with only that. That’s basically nothing! You’re leaving me on a cliffhanger!” Hyunjin pouts.
Chan waves his hand walking out of the kitchen, “Ask me another time.”
“Lino hyung, what did Chan hyung do?” Chan hears Hyunjin ask Minho before he enters his room.
---
“Jihyoooooooo, I hate him so much.” Here you are in your room, with Jihyo, who brought soju with food after she came home from work. You fall from where you stood, laying on the couch where Jihyo watched you, “I don’t hate him. I just…he’s so mean to me.”
“I can’t believe you got into the car with him. Actually I can’t believe you went to Jaebum when he’s at a bar drunk calling you. Like girl. What the hell.”
“I just wanted to make sure he didn’t get hurt or something. And he was alone –”
“Babe, do you not understand what no contact is?” Jihyo plays with your hair while you place your head onto her lap, “You barely even liked Jaebum. Like look at you, you're here whining over Chan, more than him. You’re a mess.”
“I didn’t know I’d see Chan at such a vulnerable moment. I literally was answering his stupid questions so mindlessly, when he doesn’t even deserve to know anything.” you pull a blanket over you while rambling, “Ugh, Jihyo if only you heard how he spoke to me like…like I was nothing. As if I was just a friend or worse, a stranger. It felt like how it was on the day after Christmas.”
Jihyo didn’t need her to explain what she meant, she knew what she was talking about. That day, after Christmas, is why Jihyo holds no resentment or empathy for Chan. She doesn’t care about how many times you tried to defend him, or brush it off that it was okay and it didn’t hurt you. Because Jihyo knew it hurt you, and once you’ve had too much to drink, if Chan was mentioned or something that reminded you of him, you break down pouring your heart and soul into every single word.
“I remember because I was there, Y/n.” She takes the soju from your hand, “that’s enough for tonight.”
Jihyo walks you to your bed before saying bye for the night.
--- *MDNI* smut below‼️‼️‼️‼️
His hands roam against your body, touching it as if it’s his last. He follows you as you crawl backwards onto his bed, chasing your lips as if it's the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted. He softly pushes you onto your back as he cages you in, allowing you to trail your fingers up his arms to his shoulders, wrapping your arms around his neck - pulling him closer. The action causes his lower half to brush against yours, a moan spilling into his mouth.
Hearing you, makes his mind grow darker, craving you more. He starts pressing into you, attacking your neck, “Taste so good.” You run your hands through his hair and give a light tug, just how he likes it, you pull him off your neck, making him whine at the loss of you. You tug at his shirt, “Off, please.”
He smirks at this, placing a kiss on your forehead, “only because you asked so nicely.” You watch him, knees on either side of you, kneeling as he unbuttons his dress shirt in front of you. He sees you bite your lip, “Like what you see?” You turn your head away from him, suddenly shy.
“No, no, baby.” he softly takes you by the chin, turning your face towards him, “Watch me. Don’t take your eyes off me.” He takes off his shirt and your hands rush to place them on his chest. “Needy aren’t you,” he jokes before taking one of your hands and kissing it, then trailing kisses down back to your neck. He finds your sweet spot, making you bite your lip, to hide your moan.
“Don’t.” his hand comes up to your face, brushing his thumb against your lips. “I want to hear everything.” he whispers into your ear, as he dips two of his fingers into your mouth. You start tasting him, moaning around his fingers.
“Baby, please.” You whine out as you feel him grind himself onto you, “Want more. Want you.”
“You’re so cute, always asking so politely.” His lips reattach to yours as his fingers find the bottom of your dress - the reason why you’re both in this situation now. He starts to take it off of you, disconnecting his lips just so you can throw it over your head, then he quickly reattaches to you. “God, you’re so perfect.” He says while undoing your bra with practiced movements, “It makes me just want to ruin you.”
You moan at his words, your hand trails to his pants to make him slide them off. As he kicks off his pants, you play with the hem of his boxers, hearing his breath get heavier as he kisses you more desperately. “Are you needy baby?” It’s your turn to tease.
“Stop teasing.” He plays with the thin lace on your hips, returning the favor.
“Me tease?” You immediately grab his dick and give it a squeeze, making his head fall to yours, breath hitches, continuing your movements, “I’d never tease my baby.” Your thumb runs over his tip that’s starting to leak, “So needy, baby.” He moans loudly before placing his hand on your clit, slowly moving at the pace you're stroking him. Your eyelids flutter shut, overwhelmed with the pleasure.
“So weak,” He teases.
Your eyes open as you speed up your movements, feeling chan twitch at the sudden change in pace. You quickly reach into his boxers and take him into your hand, and pump him.
“Fuck.” He says as you spit into your hand just to reach back down. He hasn’t moved his hands too focused on not finishing.
“Who’s weak baby?” You use this moment to push him against the headboard, crawling onto him as he sits looking at you. You look at him as you drip your spit from your mouth to his dick lathering it around him making him look up moaning. You stop your movements, your other hand takes his chin, “nuh uh baby, eyes on me.”
You continue your movements and start kissing him intensely. He’s moaning into your mouth and by the grip on your hips, you know he’s close. You usually take the pillow princess role, but by the way he’s been so stressed, you decide to take care of him really quick. You know he’ll make it up to you later.
He pulls away from your lips, “Close.”
You smile at this, “So cute.”
He’s so fast that you’re unsure of what even happened. He pushes you onto your back roughly taking off your panties, “I need to finish in you.” It sounds like a demand, but you know that this is his way of asking for your consent. You open your legs wider and he takes it as a sign to continue. He fully takes off his boxers and lines himself up with you, “You’re so wet.”
“Put it in please, don’t tease,” You whine.
“Not fair when you’ve been teasing me all night.”
“I want you to come in me, baby.” you wrap your legs around his waist pulling him closer, “Fuck me.”
His eyes darken wasting no time, he pushes into you, moaning as he feels you swallow him whole, “Fuck, I missed you so much. ”
He lets you adjust for a second until you push him closer, “Move.”
He starts thrusting deeper into you before pulling out to the tip. Roughly pushing all the way in, he does this slowly yet hard, making both of you moan out loudly gripping onto each other.
“Faster.” One word is all you say and he’s quick to listen, thrusting faster with less force yet still deep enough to hit your spot.
“I’m gonna come,” you cry out, it feels so good. He feels so good. Your hands entangle with his hair moving to his back, unable to stay still. So high off of him you don't know where to put your hands. You just want to show him - no, you want to let him feel how good he's making you feel.
“Come on baby, show me how good I make you feel.” He keeps the same strong pace just how you like it, “Let me feel you dripping around me.” And that is what tips you over, you release around him, scratching so hard on his back that it’ll sure leave marks. Screams caught from your throat, as he grips your throat just how you like it.
“Come inside me baby please.” You urge him on, still experiencing your high, you're so drunk on pleasure you don’t know what you’re saying, “Please give it to me. Put it in me deep. I-I need your come.”
He’s now fucking you harder chasing his own release, he grabs your face kissing you.
“Come in me, Chan.” You moan as you look into his eyes.
You saying his name and the eye contact does it for him, and he's grabbing onto you so tightly as he yells out, “Fuck y/n. I-I’m coming.”
Both of you moaning as you feel his fluid leak into you, filling you up with his warm seed. He still continues moving as he attaches his lips onto you. You kiss each other until you fall asleep with him in you, holding you close.
---
You open your eyes, Chan’s not there. You sit up, looking down.
Chan opens his eyes, Y/n’s not there. Chan sits up, looking down.
“Oh.”
“Oh.”
author's note: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
this is my first time writing a smut idk whether i hate it or not 😭
#stray kids#skz#slow burn#bang chan#bang chan fluff#fluff#bang chan x reader#skz x reader#skz imagines#skz fluff#skz scenarios#skz smut#pov#angst#skz angst#skz soft thoughts#smut#bang chan smut#skz hard thoughts
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Omfg that fake dating rosquez drabble, GOD YES, I am over here, dying. If you ever find time and motivation to write more of that, PLEASE do so, I would love to hear more coming from that place of your mind!!!! How does Marc react? What do they do? Do they kiss? Practice it? (No pressure obvs <3, do what you feel okay with)
Okay so, I warn you, this is going to be extra tropey and cutesy (angst, see you another day). A look into pictures I have for this universe :
context : Marc is very much aware of his crush on Valentino, previously with no intention to do anything about it but now that Valentino has put them in this position, Marc will take advantage of it and Valentino won't know what's coming for him
after Valentino's mom leave, Valentino goes to Marc to apologize and he's like "we'll just pretend for a couple of months, it's not like she'll be there often so you won't even have to do anything, I'll tell her we didn't work out because it's too complicated with racing each other but we stayed friends, things will be just like before and she'll still like you but will just believe that you like men" [this is where Marc comes out to Valentino]
mandatory scene where they're invited to dinner with other members of Valentino's family and friends of the family, PDA in the form of Valentino having his hand at the small of Marc's back when he gives him a tour of the living room and Valentino's arm resting above Marc's shoulders on the couch when they're having drinks pre-dinner
their first "kiss" happens that night, the two of them doing something super mundane (maybe helping to bring desert to the table or Valentino handing Marc his phone or something? I don't know, details) and Marc just leans forward to press his lips to Valentino and he's already gone before Valentino has the time to react
for their first "real" kiss (that lasts more than a quick second), we can have it the next day, Marc going "I caught you by surprise yesterday, when I kissed you" and Valentino being all "absolutely not" (when will that man ever admit to losing/not being on top of something) and one thing leading to another [this would need more words but this is already being too long as it is], they end up kissing passionately™️, Marc's back pressed into the kitchen island and Valentino's hands starting to push under his shirt until they get interrupted by someone walking into the kitchen
[there is a version of this universe where their competitive side kicks in and they both try to one up each other in a game of who can make the other uncomfortable first] [some twisted version of gay chicken, I suppose]
obviously Marc wasn't supposed to stay at the ranch for that long but it just makes sense for him to still be there and for the two of them to spend more time together [this is either summer or winter 2014, again, details]
another scene where they have to spend time with Valentino's family [let's say at a baby shower of one of Valentino's cousins, to not say a wedding] [fake dating at a wedding is an elite trope, just having fun with some alternatives as well] and they're far from Tavullia so it makes sense for them to stay for the night and they have to share a bed [might as well mix all my basic fave tropes together]
two things that happen that night/the next morning in an order I haven't decided on yet : they have sex + they have this very sweet moment where they're facing each other and touching in some way (and Valentino fixes a curl on Marc's forehead at some point) [I don't care that Marc's hair wasn't showing his curls in 2014, we're altering reality in all the ways we want] and Marc's like "your mom wasn't surprised when you told her you had a boyfriend" and "people are genuinely happy for us" and "I didn't really think that was an option" [and Valentino's heart is feeling soooo guilty at that, oh boy] [not in a "Marc's family is homophobic" way but the whole "being a gay rider" thing, you know]
one thing I realize is the fact that they probably should have to sleep in the same bed at the ranch to keep appearances but it's not practical for my whole narrative so I'm still debating that, we can work around it [as always : details]
#rpf#marc marquez#valentino rossi#4693#this is so fluffy it's ridiculous#my writing#(kind of)#fake dating rosquez#of course you could also make this angsty but not today
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Hii! I hope you’re having a great day beautiful <3 I read your post “blue lock - how you hold their hands”, and while reading the Nagi section I had an idea. Do you think maybe you could write something (headcannons, short fic, I’m not picky!) where reader stops holding Nagi’s hand/sleeve because whenever reader stops Nagi never seems to try to hold readers hand again, and seems to not care/notice so reader is like “oh, I guess he finds it annoying” and stops holding onto him. Sorry if this was long- hope you have a wonderful day/evening/night/etc!
TYSM FOR ASKING 🧡 This is smart and cute maybe almost angsty and suits nagi x reader sm 😞. I did the easiest for me: half hc and half fic ! (it ended up being a teeny bit long and kinda corny oops). Have a lovely week ~
If you love, let me know (and if you don't, then let me go).
(2014 tumblr really popped off with that one)
Where you stop being affectionate to Nagi, thinking it annoys him. 0.9k words. Fluffy, tiny bit angsty.
[from previous headcanons] So you’re always the one to reach for Nagi’s hand (or sleeve, depending how you prefer it hihi)
On the other hand, he’s not often the first one to let go. He basically lets you do all the work, deciding when it starts and when it ends.
But whether you hold his hand or not, he doesn’t seem to care
And on top of that, you’ve already been told something that stuck with you:
“Y\N, you’re so clingy”.
It was a friend of yours that didn’t like physical touch, but still you questioned yourself. Were you too much ?
But to be fair, you had forgotten that sentence and went on with your life. That is until you started dating Nagi. Since you were now being affectionate, and he didn’t seem to care, you suddenly remembered.
Therefore you started being self conscious. “Maybe I'm overdoing it and he’s annoyed by it, but won’t say it”.
It was decided. Starting next day, you’d cut down on the hand-holding and clinginess overall.
It was 3:20pm, and Nagi would arrive anytime now. You and your boyfriend had planned to meet up for a coffee and to wander around. “Hey babe !” You said very keenly as you noticed him. You walked up to him with way more spirit than he did. And when you got close enough, you started going in for a kiss. Until you remembered your resolution: no being over the top ! You swiftly played it off and greeted him with a wave. “Uhm, hi”. Nagi was kinda startled. What stunt did you just pull off? He didn’t say anything though, and you pretended everything was absolutely normal.
He didn’t admit it, but he was really looking forward to a kiss. At least a hug. That’s how you always greet him, it’s so enjoyable it reset the whole day's mood. But ugh, he was too lazy to voice it out. “So where are we going ?”. Nagi asked, looking at you dead in the eyes. “Wherever you please, babe”. “I don’t like choosing. Please take us wherever you think’s best. The closest thing from here if that’s what you want”. It’s nice how Nagi was kind enough to let you make all the choices in your relationship, but to you it also meant he wasn't that involved in it, and let you carry the burden of all decisions alone.
“It’s okay, follow me then”. You signed him to follow you and come closer while you started walking. As he approached you, he started sticking his hand out, thinking you were going to grab it. But you didn’t. So he just looked stupid with his hand reaching at your turned back. “Oh.” He thought. “That’s how it is today”. As you were a bit ahead of him, he had, to his biggest annoyance, walked a tiny bit faster to catch up to you. He wanted to hold your hand. He even thought about taking the initiative for the first time in his life. But, ahh it seemed bothersome. And he was shy, although he’d never admit it.
“Babe… Are you… mad ?”. You were startled. First of all because Nagi was onto the fact that something was wrong. But mostly because it was the first time *ever* he used a pet name with you. But damn, it sounded good. “You should call me that more often, Nagi. I like the ring of it”. Nagi got sulky. It almost felt like you patronized him. “But no, not at all. Why would you think that ? Is there something that’s weighing on your conscience so bad that you’re getting paranoid ?” You finally answered, playfully. You were still looking right in front of you, scared to give in if you met his eyes.
“Then why are you acting weird ?” “Weird, what do you mean ? I’m my usual self, and in a good mood too. I was eager to see you”. “Is that so ? Then why, then why… Why didn’t you greet me like always ? With a kiss, a hug and holding hands I mean. And why are you gaslighting me too… Do you think I'm dumb ?” To anyone, his voice sounded as lifeless as always. But someone like you, who knew his kind so well, could hear the poutiness behind it.
“So you DO notice ! And you care too, is that so ?!” “Of course I do, why wouldn't I ? You really think I'm that oblivious ? So why did you do this today ? Is this a test ?” Nagi was looking you in the eyes and you had finally turned your head to him. “I did it because I thought you disliked it. I’m always the one going in for kisses, hugs or even holding your hand. You never react to it, even when I let go. I figured that, if it mattered that little to you, might as well not bother you. Although i have to say, if you thought i was too much, you could’ve at least said so. I would’ve understood.”
“Well I didn't say anything like that because I didn't think anything like that. I like being close to you”. “But how could I guess ! You never tell me what’s wrong or what’s right ! Everything I have to figure out on my own because you don't talk to me about it”. “I’m sorry, I thought that me not saying anything meant I liked it that way. If it annoyed me, I would've said so.” “You don't have to only point out what’s wrong ! If you love me, let me know !” you said, teary eyed. “I do love you”. And for the first time ever, Nagi went in for a kiss. A good one at that.
#nagi blue lock#nagi bllk#nagi x reader#nagi#blue lock x reader#blue lock headcanons#bluelock#blue lock#blue lock imagines#nagi x y/n#nagi seishiro#nagi imagines
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HP FESTS: The Harry Potter Rom Com Fest
The Harry Potter Rom Com Fest 2023:
Wedding Wars by LenaLumos - E, WIP - One wedding date, two engaged couples. Hermione is horrified to find out that Draco and Astoria are scheduled for the same coveted wedding date that she and Ron have been planning for. It's a battle of wits, pranks, and sabotage, and Draco might jeopardize more than just her carefully constructed wedding plans. Inspired by the movie Bride Wars for the HP Rom Com Fest.
What, Like It's Hard? by rapunzerelli - M, WIP - Hermione's plans for her future are upended when Ron ends their relationship out of the blue and for the silliest reason: she doesn't care enough about Quidditch. When she sets out to prove how wrong he was for breaking her heart, two very unexpected things help her mend it. Inspired by Legally Blonde (and a dash of She's The Man).
No Strings Attached by Goldenbucky - E, WIP - Hermione Granger begs her best friend, Draco Malfoy, to have sex with her. To fuck her with “no strings attached”. They’ve been best friends since first year. They’re also roommates. What can possibly go wrong?
I’ll Never Fall in Love Again by riddikulus_puff - M, WIP - Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy have been best friends since the age of five years old, regardless of the way they were supposed to be enemies because of their upbringing. He was Pureblood and she was Muggleborn. And now as they take on life as eighteen-year-olds, they just end up getting separated time and time again. So, they couldn’t possibly be the right choice for one another…or could they? When it came to love, life and making the right choices, it was just everyone else but each other, these two were really their own worst enemies. But when will these two finally realise they are meant to be together? Only time can tell for Hermione and Draco. A fanfiction for the 2023 HP Rom Com Fic Fest Inspired by the 2014 film, Love, Rosie, and inspired by the book 'Where Rainbows End' by Cecelia Ahern
About That Time by MissusB - E, WIP - I’ve always known my family was special. It was something that was drilled into me from the time I was old enough to understand it. My mother would dote on me. Telling me I was her favourite boy. Not that there was much competition being an only child. My father would show his affections in different ways but I always knew I was loved. And that’s the thing about Malfoys. It’s all about love, even if we don’t show it to the rest of the world. It was love that drove my parents to withdraw from society when the war loomed closer. It was love that welcomed Pansy as my sister when she lost her family to the war. And it was love that changed my life in many ways when my father decided it was time to share his secret with me. (Based on the iconic romantic comedy About Time.)
Love, Hermione Granger by nissasxnotes - T, WIP - Hermione has been in love with five people over her time at Hogwarts. Each time she has fallen in love, she has written a letter and hidden it in the bottom of her trunk. As her Eighth year comes to an end, she steps off the train to see four out of the five men she's been in love with holding the letters she thought were stashed away in her trunk. Unsure of how the letters got mailed, Hermione panickily asks Draco Malfoy to pretend to be her boyfriend while she figures out how to let each of the boys she's loved before down.
Ace of Wands by FeInTheClouds - E, 3 chapters - Meanwhile, our platinum-haired playboy has set his eyes on a particular delicacy with curly brown hair - the only one who doesn't want him back.
This fest is ongoing.
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Several Short Games, Part 2
Last time I got through about half of the games that Lily gave me. Here's the rest of them, including the one that's much longer than the others.
queerweird (Jeni Usborn, 2016) The game queerweird (lowercase mandatory) is an asymmetrical indie game for three people in shorts around a fire pit. The game's "safety rules" section directly addresses that last point, and you find out quickly that that's because the resolution mechanics include kicking at the firepit. Other resolution mechanics include yelling loud enough to get an echo or making out with one person until the third one gets uncomfortable. Really, queerweird isn't meant to be played. The art seems mostly like it's Usborn's private kink stash touched up to a minimum of reasonability. Cool stuff: Look, if I didn't sell you on it already then there's no cool stuff in here for you.
Giant Robots on Spreadsheets (Henry Stein, 2007) When you have someone who is very, very mathy writing a game, they generally write about a thousand pages of Very Arithmetic game rules involving space, mecha, or both. I know because I did that once. Mechanical engineer Henry Stein went several steps further. He simplified it all down to reasonable heuristics, transferred it to one massive Excel sheet that did all the work for you, and gave it tabs that would let you look up the rules by keyword. He distributed this at-cost on USB 2.0 keys in .xls format. What's that? You have a computer with a USB 3.0 ports and can only read .xlsx format? Yeah, such was the fate of my mathy space game written in WordPerfect as well. Cool stuff: The game balance is impeccable.
Uncomfortable Erotic Tension Cultivator (ListyMcListerson, 2019). UETC is a two-player game / foreplay tool. It is the 21st-century, slightly grown up, itch-diaspora equivalent of naughty dice. (Not Naughty & Dice, that's different.) Cool stuff: Meant to be used over the course of several days to, as the name says, build tension. It puts you into an actual scenario rather than just being "Roll the dice and hope it comes out hot."
ARCANO, the Game of Rules, Magic, and Regulations (Little, Burco, and Frane, 2014) ARCANO is a 5-volume set, outweighing all the other books on this list put together. Each book is in 12x12 inch format, and the whole set makes up a one-foot cube. The books are: character creation, core rules, summoning, shadow magic, and bibliomancy. There are just those three classes. Individually, the rules are not particularly intricate or complex, but there are a lot of them. Cool stuff: The bibliomancy book. Not only is it put together in a way that makes it a useful tool at the game table, but it turns all four other books into bibliomantic resources as well. There are acrostics and anagrams and all kinds of neat things hidden away in it. It's a shame the authors of the other books couldn't keep up.
Just Let's Make Pretend (AnonymousIsMyUsername, 2023). JLMP is a diceless game, if you can even really call it a game. It's like someone wrote down a set of instructions for "make-believe" just in case we ever needed to explain the concept to martians. It's not poorly-written, but you don't need it. Cool stuff: Cites its sources. If you're looking for people who are studying RPGs as a scholarly pursuit, the reference section in JLMP is an excellent place to start.
Thanks again to Lily Vers for the pile of books. Now the question is how I can foist them on someone else. I'm starting to fill up my storage container.
#ttrpg#imaginary#indie ttrpg#rpg#review#sure I'm into roleplaying let me grab my wizard hat#hurr durr magic wand yes we've all heard that one thanks#I look forward to your spreadsheet-driven mecha games
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fix you | p.jm (pt. 1)
pairing : rich player!jimin x poor abused!reader (not by m. lead)
genre : strangers to friends to strangers to lovers, lovers au, angst, smut
trigger warnings : daddy issues, non-con (sometimes) bullying by m. lead
summary : does love last? can it be turned into hatred? can it be something so precious that you regret letting go of it? can you fix it?
-> 01 | 02 | 03 | Epilogue
m.list
winter 2013 : freshmen year
you sat on the bleachers, swinging your legs as you doodled in your sketchbook. you weren't bothered by the lack of company on an especially cold winter day. after all, you had your favourite company - your sketchbook and music. what else did you need? "hey, is this seat taken?", a boy about your age asked of you while you merely shrugged in response and scooted far away when he sat too close for comfort. you paid him no attention as you continued sketching some mindless art for which you'd definitely receive no appreciation from your parents. but who gives a fuck about what they want!? "want one?", the boy asked you as he pointed at a pack of cigarettes. "thanks.", you said as you tucked it inside your coat pocket and resumed doodling. you decided that it would serve the purpose on the sculpture you were carving to submit at the exhibition. "aren't you gonna take a swig?", the boy asked as he looked at you with an inquisitive gaze. "i don't smoke." "too bad. or else we could've been smoking buddies." "i am suddenly glad that i don't smoke.", you said as you stopped doodling and sparing him a second glance, walked away to find a semblance of tranquility away from his incessant questioning. "avoiding me isn't going to help you!", he yelled as he you kept walking.
spring 2014 : sophomore year
"i prefer this one over the others.", that same annoying guy butted into your shopping at the convenience store as you stood in front of a row of different types of ramen. "i don't remember asking for your opinion, boy." "damn, grandma! i've got a name!", he joked as he breached your personal space. "not interested. and our tastes clearly don't match.", you said as you picked whatever you needed and headed over to billing. "always the cold shoulder, huh? how long are you gonna pretend to not like me?" "i actually don't like you. you're not someone i'd hang out with, given a choice." "you don't mean that! everybody likes to hang out with me!" he clearly looked offended at your statement and that seemed to be a tiny victory in your heart, even though it was pretty insignificant to revel in. "that'll be ₩2500." you handed the cashier the exact change and left the annoying guy behind. lord only knows why he was so desperate. weirdo.
*****
you entered your home only to hear raised voices coming from the kitchen. you sigh as you proceed directly to the backyard. "serin!", you whisper-shouted as you tried to find your younger sister. "unnie....i'm here.", she whispered as she emerged from behind the bushes. "did they scare you again?" "appa is drunk again and eomma is mad because he lost his job today. i think she's going to leave tonight.", your sister confides in you as you hug her close. "i'll speak to eomma. for now, let's get to your dance class. everything will be fine once you return home.", you shushed her as you both quietly left the house. "do you think appa is a horrible person?", she asked you. "um....he is a person with a lot of problems and no solutions. he's a good person beneath all this." "then, why does he hate us so much? i heard him say how he wished we were boys instead of girls. do you think he meant it?" "that was just his anger speaking. he of course doesn't mean those words! you're his little princess, after all." "and you unnie? what are you to him?" serin's question took you by surprise. you couldn't remember a time when he referred to you as anything other than a mistake. "unnie?", serin's voice brought you back to reality. "sorry, serin-ah. i'll come pick you up later, okay? i love you!", you yelled after her as she proceeded behind the glass doors.
*****
you rushed towards the dance class location, trying not to let your injury hamper your progress. "darn it!", you cursed as you limped to the building, only find it under lock and key. you felt anxious as you looked around. "unnie!", your sister's voice reached your ears and you turned around to find your sister running towards you. "where were you!? i was so worried!" "some gang members had caught hold of her and were trying to exact your father's debts from her.", an annoying voice you'd recognize anywhere reached your ears. "and i suppose you were there along with them!", you flared up. "unnie, he rescued me. he's my hero! is he your boyfriend?", your sister asked inquisitively. your face turned red, the previous accusation fresh in your mind. "i....thank you. for helping my sister.", you said sheepishly. "no need. did you know, our siblings are friends. who would've thought.", he mused with you as his brother emerged from behind him. "jihoon is your brother!?" "yup. jihoon, say hi to noona." "its alright. he doesn't have to.", you say embarrassed as you tried to leave. "why don't you join us for ice-cream? the more the merrier!" "um....", you looked at your sister who looked eager. you finally relented as you all made your way towards the nearest store. it was going to be a long afternoon.
fall 2014 : sophomore year
"hold up, y/n!", jimin's voice reached out to you as he slung his arm around you. "hands off, player.", you said as you walked ahead to your locker. "have lunch at the cool table today? my hyung's are dying to meet you." "no thanks. i'm good without the extra attention." "damn, you really hate the spotlight. what if i say i'll protect you?" "have no need of male protection.", you said as you walked away with an eye roll.
*****
"y/n, right?", a cute brunette guy stopped you after class. "yes?" "i wanna get to know you better. sit at the cool table with me.", he asked but sounded more like an order. "not that type of girl." "do you even know what my type is?" you rolled your eyes as you tried to leave, but was blocked by a blonde dude this time. "why don't you quit your tough girl look and comply for once in your fucking life." "why don't you mind your own fucking business, asshole!?", you said as you pushed past him into the hallway. what weirdos! you decided that you'd knee them in the face next time you saw them.
*****
"bitch, get me more money!", your father shouted as he hit your mom in front of you and your sister. "eomma!", serin cried out as you tried to shield her from your father's anger. "fucking slut, sleep with anyone and get me some money! you!", he yelled at you as he dragged you by your hair and slammed you against the kitchen cabinet. "tell me where the money is! i know you know! i know it!", he said as he gripped your arm tightly. "appa, i don't know! we don't have any money! we gave you everything!", you said while you bit on your lower lip trying not to cry. "fucking bitch! slut! i saw you with a hot boy! he looked rich! ask him for money! get it anyway!", he yelled at you as he left the room in a huff as your sister ran towards you and hugged you. "eomma?", you both crawled towards her as she lifted her bloody face to look at you both. "y/n-ie, don't do anything stupid. i'm going to ask my boss for more money.", your mother said as tears streamed down her face.
*****
"y/n, what are you doing here?", jimin asked you as you stood in front of his apartment at 3 in the morning. "jimin, do you want to sleep with me?", you asked him bluntly, face devoid of emotion. "what the fuck, y/n! its three in the morning and you come to my apartment offering me sex!?" "the question is do you want to fuck me or not. and pay me for it. use me like you want to." "y/n, you're clearly not in your right mind. come in and sit. i'll make you some coffee." your sudden offer scared jimin. it was not untrue that he did not dream of ever sleeping with you. hell, that was the reason why he had approached you at first. he liked you. too much. and he wanted to make love to you, not fuck you like the other girls - devoid of any feelings for them. he made you coffee and offered you a dry shirt, shorts and a towel to get changed. he's got to admit to himself that you wearing his clothes was the hottest thing he had ever seen. they reached up to your knees and left a lot to the imagination. "um.....now, mind telling me what's going on?", he asked trying to push away the image of you underneath him. "its nothing. i just want money, i guess." "you don't need to sleep with me to get money. we're friends. i can always lend you some." "i am not some charity case, jimin! and we are definitely not friends! we look weird together! the rest of the school doesn't think we're friends! only you do!" "do you think we're friends?", he asked in a soft voice as he looked at you. "doesn't matter what i think." "it fucking does. its a simple question. do you think we're friends?" you shake your head, knowing that no matter how much you wanted to be jimin's friend, you did not exist in his world. "do you really mean that?" "i do.", you steeled your heart, trying not to show the pain on your face. jimin took in a sharp breath, closing his eyes. "so, just fuck me and give me money. that's all i want from you." "why should i? girls throw themselves at me, money or no money." "all but me. don't tell me you've never dreamt of sleeping with me. isn't that the very reason you approached me in the first place?" "y/n....you want money, right? what for?" "to spend it on mindless things, of course! its human nature to crave money. desire it." "the truth, y/n.", he said in a cold voice. you sigh as you look outside the window. "i need money for my dad. he's going to kill my mother, or else.", you admit in a small voice. jimin closes his eyes as he lets his feelings wash over him one last time. then, he pulled out a cheque and handed it to you. "take it. i don't want to sleep with you. we're no longer friends. i never want to see you again.", he said as he left the room and shut his bedroom door with a loud bang. tears streamed down your face as you picked up the cheque from the table and left the apartment. you felt cheap and dirty. but most importantly, you felt heartbroken. alone. you didn't know you'd miss the feeling of another person this much. you had no idea.
fall 2015 : junior year
last year, jimin had ignored you. he had completely iced you out and you had nobody but yourself to blame. "miss y/n, here's your schedule. have a good junior year ahead!", the receptionist said cheerfully as you headed to your homeroom. you realized once again how lonely you were. no friends to talk with, no people to share summer stories with and no one to invite you to parties. "may i sit here?", a soft voice asked you as you looked up to find a gorgeous girl staring at you. "um....just so you know this is the social pariah table.", you said. "don't mind! i'm a transfer student and my accent's gonna make me a pariah anyway.", she said as she plopped down on the chair beside you. "name's anastasia. what do they call you?" "apart from crazy, witch and stoned? y/n." "i like your sense of humour! we're gonna go well together!" "tell that after you've stayed here for a week or two. mingle with me and not even your transfer student card can save you here." "whatever. show me around school at lunch!", she said as she jumped away to whatever class she had next. you sighed as you picked up your bag. school sucked and you wanted out. "watch where you're going loser!", one of the guys from the football team shoulder bumped which led to you losing your balance and falling on your ass. you could hear camera shutters go off and you tried to get up from the ground quickly. "don't you guys have anything better to do?", jungkook, the captain, asked as he offered you his hand. "i'm fine.", you muttered as you gathered your bag and tried to leave but found your way blocked by someone. looking up, you saw jimin staring down at you while the rest of the boys stared you down. "excuse me.", you said as you tried to walk past him. "you were pretty rude back there. don't you think you owe my friend an apology?" "for what!? not accepting help when i clearly didn't need it!?", you burst out as you pushed past him, angry tears adorning your face. fuck him for having power to make you cry like this. its time you got over him and started living.
not a week later, anastasia dumped you for....let's just say cooler girls. high school sucks and so do rich wannabes. but it wasn't a huge difference from your usual. except the fact that jimin and his goons bothered you less frequently as the year progressed. perhaps they were finally bored of their childish acts. maybe you could finally take a breather for the time being.
[to be contd.]
#jimin#park jimim#jimin bts#bts jimin#park jimin bts#kpop angst#bts#bangtan sonyeondan#friends to lovers#daddy issues#abuse victim#smut ff
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Jason.
Suddenly I want to talk about Jason (it's a very long talk).
I realize I never talk about this here, but I often compare him to Queen's John Deacon. There are few similarities. The "silent" one, the underrated one, the one who prefer tea when the others would prefer wine, the one whose lyrics always about life, the dark horse, the one who is not confident with singing, the one who left the band and never be seen again.
The thing about John Deacon is that I never feel sort of bereaved, longing, or sad that he is no longer in Queen. I am a Queen fan since I could barely speak english thanks to my dad and the moment I learn that he left Queen so many years ago I was like that's ok. That's because even though Brian and Roger are the spine of Queen, the heart and soul will always be with Freddie and Freddie died 32 years ago. New fans had their hard time accepting it when they searched for Deacy but they quickly realized time has gone long and he has been living a peaceful private life. It's easy for us to let go of Deacy, because Queen regardless how good Adam Lambert is now, is over the moment Freddie died. There are no what ifs when talking about Deacy leaving Queen and public life. His statement is also clear and undeniable that he left because he thought there should be no more Queen after Freddie.
But the thing about Jason Orange is that he left at the height of Take That fandom. They just had Robbie back and they released Progress and it was very very success album and tour too. Three years later, people expect something but Robbie's not coming back and so did Jason. It feels anticlimactic for fans even though it may not be for him. There are no impromptu. Unlike the rest of the members, Jason doesn't have social media but he also didn't do or say anything leading up to that day in 2014. Take That was perfectly fine ship and suddenly one of their longest standing member at that time jumped the ship without lifeboat that could help him return. He swam to the nearest island and not planning to swim back to the ship ever again. Sure he made a statement through Take That's PR but it's just a thank yous. Something is not told and as fans we left to wonder why did he leave. What had gone wrong in the background??
Toxic fans would often like to think it's because of Robbie because Jason didn't like Rob in the 90s and, while often written off in newer documentaries or autobiographies, was the one who propagated to kick Robbie Williams out of Take That (as stated by the man himself in Look Back, Don't Stare). It's easy to make Robbie Williams a scapegoat, isn't it? However, Jason himself said back in Progress era that Robbie came back to Take That was the final piece of puzzle. Gary in his book A Better Me also said that Jason always wanted Robbie to return and felt like his job is done when he got to see all his boyband friends in the same room again.
However, it still doesn't answer the question to why did he leave? I have a habit of wondering over unimportant things and sometimes, especially now, my mind wonder about Jason and why exactly did he leave. I have some theories, it might not satisfy you but bare with me.
Here's a gif of Jason so you won't get too tired reading this post lol
First theory: tax evasion scandal.
I'm not gonna pretend to be a foolish fan and not know that sometimes in 2014, Take That faced a huge backlash thanks to this scandal. Those annoying 40-50 something British guy who love to make this tax evader joke to state they never like Take That to look manly can never escape me every time I go around social media about Take That. Even though it rarely talked about among Thatters, I feel like if they are not known more now than they are a decade ago it's because this scandal still affecting them in the eyes of UK public, who are their major target market. I could also argue if only they make another big break this scandal will be gone from people's mind but sad to say they haven't done anything bigger than Progress even until now, not that I don't like III, Wonderland, and This Life, I do. But me and all of you (roughly 30 people around here) and I'd estimate less than 2 millions most royal Thatters out there who are interested are not enough. Back to the tax scandal, it is a fact that Gary, Mark, and Howard are part of the scandal but not Jason because his finance always managed by his twin brother, so I heard. I wonder whatever went behind the scene could might affect Jason's decision to leave.
Why? Because if it is true that he left because Progress is enough, he could have stated he would be leaving since after Progress or any time between 2012 to early 2014. Why did he have to wait and drag this for too long? Also, I wonder if this is why they are so sensitive about Jason leaving at first. Remember in Robbie's autobiography when they were really angry at Rob for accidentally blurted it that Jason would leave before official statement?
Second theory: anxiety, illness, physical problem or other health problems.
I often wonder about this too. Progress era is the ultimate era especially for old school Thatters (lol sorry to the actual ultimate era). Who would have thought that "I'm rich beyond my wildest dream", the greatest britpop star living in private mansion in Beverly Hills with around 10 entourages including his gf, Robbie Williams, could ever reunited with Take That? I can only look this like history book and only recently realized how crazy it is. It happened. In his Netflix documentary, even his management didn't believe this that he'd rather earn so little yet did so much effort for Take That rather than earning another hundreds of millions of dollar doing another solo tour. But it happened, he needed it, the rest of Take That needed it, and we're glad it happened. And then, imagine Never Forget. One of the best Take That song ever, made in 1995 but released when Rob had left, so before 2010 this song had never been performed by Robbie Williams. The moment that all Thatters had been waiting for, to see all five members of Take That perform this song life, without others backing the others, as the original single intended. The only era where they can do this, and it only ever happened once (1). And then Jason...
youtube
And then they never did it again. Throughout Progress live tour, Jason didn't sing a single note by solo. His part in Never Forget was covered by Gary. You could even argue that his mic was never on during any of Progress live performances and I would believe you. So much downgrade than The Circus Live where he did an entire section singing two songs with his guitar. What was going on??
Why? He stated few times he was never confident in singing. Even Nigel Martin Smith berating him in the 90s for being the one with the worse singing voice (arguable though because he actually has decent voice). I'm glad Take Two era gave him the confidence to try albeit shyly. However, maybe eventually his anxiety won sometimes between 2012 to 2014. Plus the fact that we know he can't do breakdance forever. He was in his 40s at that time. Even current Take That dance lesser and lesser than they were in previous era. Maybe Jason thought there should not be more dancing in Take That. Maybe he thought his body would no longer able to. Maybe he's not strong as he used to be. He's ill? Idk, only Jason knows.
Third theory: settling down in private.
It could be just my headcanon but think about it. We always joke he might as well marry to the bench because he's always photographed alone in his own thoughts. Some people even randomly thinking is he gay? He has that swag though, but I don't think at least he himself think that he's gay(?).
Lol this iconic pic
But what we never talk about is that he did have girlfriends in the past. He has been photographed by paparazzi in the past with "mystery" women (yes women as in plural) which I will not share here. He had a public relationship with Catherine Tate after all.
I genuinely think Jason is the kind who would drop everything to keep his family safe from public. This is after all the same guy who despite the height of his career barely show his family to the public, except his mom probably, but then again all TT moms always have media presence since day 1. Being in kdrama fandom and see korean actors and actresses who literally just dropped their career for their family and their privacy, I can see Jason would do just like that. Why not? He has achieved and experienced everything there is to know about being a celebrity. He doesn't feel the need to. And I feel like his relationship with Catherine Tate, since she also a public figure, was so gobbled down by media that maybe he thought this isn't right to have people judging his partner. If one day Jason appear with a wife and a child, I won't be surprised at all. I would be exploding in happiness that this theory is correct though.
Also I'm happy to see Catherine Tate returns to Doctor Who with David Tennant. I just know then that she actually is known for being in Doctor Who. I had no idea who is she outside being in Happy Now music video 😂
My theory outside Jason leaving:
Take That (and their management) know where and how Jason is (to some extent).
In the interviews often Gary, Mark, and Howard would be asked about Jason to which they would say they didn't contact him for ages. Or joke that they tried to email him but then maybe he only have flip phones and doesn't even have a computer to answer the email. Look, he can be a hermit but man living in first world country and doesn't have even a smartphone to answer email in 21st century is ridiculous. I believe they still talk or see each other once in a while, especially with Howard, who tweeted that he met Jason in 2018. Hell, I feel like even Rob has seen Jason at least once between 2014 to now. I don't know, just a hunch.
His privacy is protected by Take That management and also by most of public.
Continuation from previous bullet point. Yes. Because do you remember when there was George Michael's art auction in Manchester and some celebrities who came there are photographed clearly. But not Jason. It's hard to find that picture again but I found it and that's just the only the bigfoot sightings of Jason Orange that I know of because it happened after I know Take That deep enough. Between 2014 to 2017, how many sightings that I didn't know? Where if other celeb would have crystal clear pictures taken but not him on the same occasion? I wonder. Also many people claimed that they met Jason in public space in around London or Manchester, but mostly Manchester. So he is not as hermit as they would like you to think. Maybe if you go around there and if you just lucky, you might come across a wild Jason Orange.
Goddammit this guy.
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At the end of this post, thank you for reading this until this part, guys. I really miss Jason like all of you. He is truly an enigma but no matter what would always have special place in every Thatters' heart. Awww...I cringe a little when I wrote that.
Regardless my theory, I can only wish he lives a good and happy life. If you have something to say, you can also add here in the reblog or reply, or dm me, let's chat.
Also I put all Jason sightings on my tumblr with this tag called The Bigfoot Sightings of Jason Orange (because he is as blurry as bigfoot sightings).
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𝗯𝗮𝘆! 𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗵𝗮𝗲𝗹 | breath mint
Raphael ✷ Grayson ( 16+ ) MASTERLIST
RAMBLES: about to ramble so you can skip this if you want! this is a chapter from my fic I wrote following the timeline of the movies, and since I'm going through and editing the book, I wanted to share some of my favorite parts from the fic on my tumblr, so spoilers??
anyyywhoo I'm also posting chaps that I was going to trash, but instead, I decided to make them into reader inserts and age up the characters. so if you see that and connect the dots, you get a cookie :)
this is about my OC and April meeting the brothers and it will forever be in my heart bc I wrote this when I was sixteen, so there will be major cringe ahead.
also, the characters are their respective age in this to match the movie.
this is not a reader insert! and, keep in mind I WAS A FETUS writing this so my choice of faceclaim was silly and it was like 2017 when I wrote this.
*cough* sabrina carpenter *cough*
TO EXPECT: ocs, 2014! movie, SFW, and a potty mouth character, cringes of my very first fic.
disclaimer: i do NOT own tmnt or the movie scenes, just my ocs and what i write for them :)
I WAS VERY TEMPTED to punch myself in the face for being so damn stupid.
Who in their right mind leaves a flash on when trying to take a discrete photo?
Grayson fucking O'Neil apparently.
All four figures immediately froze, the flash lighting up the dark rooftop for only a second. It was painfully obvious I had taken a picture. My hands began to sweat as my heart started to speed up. I could hear the shadow figures whispering again, and this time I had a really good feeling it wasn't about their previous victory.
"What was that?"
"It's a camera flash."
"We know it's a camera flash."
"Who's behind the camera flash?"
There was a light shove that came from my leg, and I knew it was April probably wondering what was going on. But I didn't dare move.
Maybe if I just pretended that I wasn't here, they wouldn't see me?
"By my calculations, it's two girls,"
Two?! How can he see us both?!
"Now we gotta kill them..."
I nearly let go of the ladder at that, my stomach churning. Shit. Were they really going to kill us over a freaking picture? Who in the hell are these guys? American assassins?
"What?!"
"With kindness!"
"Give them some flowers, earn their trust."
"I got this."
"Raph, no, no, no! She has glasses!"
I had started to climb down now, but it didn't look like I was going anywhere – April was blocking my path.
I had to bite my lip to keep myself from shouting at her. I wondered if a little kick to the face would make her move. I thought about it for a good second, though I refrained from doing so – but damn, did I want to.
I opened my mouth, ready to tell her to move her ass, but a hard heavy chain was suddenly around my midsection. My eyes widened in shock, and I glanced down. "What—" with a harsh jerk and a very loud squeal from my lips, I was suddenly air-born.
My body hit the roof with a harsh thump, and I rolled, somehow shielding my head and camera at the same time. Pain shot up my arm when I landed on my wrist, the limb catching the brunt of my fall. When I finally had control over my own body again, I weakly sat up and clenched my teeth, holding my now throbbing wrist to my chest.
"What the hell is wrong with you?! That fucking hurt you asshole!" I shouted into the dark, my pain causing my temper to flare which controlled my tongue. I swear I could hear a giggle come from the dark.
I didn't give a damn who these guys were, they didn't have to yank me around like that. Unable to stop the aggravated huff that left my lips, I allowed my gaze to drop down to my camera as I checked it over, only to let out a relieved breath when I saw it was perfectly fine.
Yea, but freakin' my wrist isn't.
My eyes drifted back to my wrist as more annoyed grumbles came from my lips. A burning sensation came from my joint as I rotated the limb. I didn't think it was broken, but knew I it was going to bruise. I was so focused on my arm that I didn't notice when April climbed up the ladder and ran over to me. She was quick to notice how I was nursing my arm and she grabbed it tenderly, facing the inner part of my wrist up. She cringed at the flamed skin.
Damn. This was definitely going to start bruising soon. I could already see a red tint forming just below the junction of my thumb that would soon turn purple.
"Are you okay?"
I so badly wanted to snap back a sarcastic remark, but when my gaze locked with hers, my words seemed to leave me. I eased my arm away, staring up at her. I could see the fear in her eyes and that made the situation more real.
I was just pulled through the air like a fucking rag doll, of course I'm not okay!
But I didn't say that.
"I think so—"
A harsh thump, followed by a rough grunt, suddenly came from behind me and a shaky breath slipped through April's lips as she tilted her head back, her eyes growing when her gaze locked onto someone, or something, behind me.
By the look on April's face, I really didn't want to turn to see what made her suddenly go pale. Something in my gut told me not to turn around, to just fall out and play dead – I wanted to ask who was standing there so I didn't have to look.
Then I remembered this asshole was the one that just yanked me from the ladder. It only took two seconds of me mentally preparing myself before I found enough courage to turn around and give this man a piece of my mind on how he shouldn't yank little people around, just so he could feel superior.
I quickly turned, but came to a jerking stop when my nose brushed against a...knee. My eyes crossed as I stared at the limb, and the first thing I noticed was how...green...it was green?
Momentarily forgetting my previous anger and my throbbing wrist, I shuffled back on my butt, my head tilting up to see who the large ass knee belonged to. My eyes bugged like a Looney Tunes character as I assessed the figure towering over me.
Holy fucking shit.
Green eyes clashed with Grey as a man-like turtle glared down at me. I had to blink a few times to make sure I wasn't seeing things. Upon seeing the look on my face, his lips curled back over his teeth into a snarl and I watched as his eyes scanned over my persons for a second, as if looking for something.
I instantly thought of my camera and instinctively grabbed it to my chest. That action had him narrowing his gaze on the device and that's when I knew what he wanted.
There were no words being said as me and my sister sat frozen in our spots. My sister looked about ready to piss herself, while I was trying my best to control my breathing and the pace of my heart. I suddenly felt warm and clammy and my heart was fluttering in an odd rhythm in my chest.
Time seemed non-existent as I took in this creature's appearance, noting the blood-red mask wrapped around the upper part of his head, kind of looking like a du-rag. The red fabric seemed like a good fashion choice, seeing that he had a very pissed-off look on his face at the moment. My gaze swept over the large turtle man, taking in all the gear he was wearing.
There was a thick leather strap stretched across, what I think was, his chest as it disappeared over the lip of his shell. And on his waist was an old-looking strap playing as a belt as it held up his odd-looking pants. My eyes then drifted to his arms, which were literally the size of my head. There was a red band tied around his bicep, stretching as the muscle moved.
This turtle man was ripped, and I honestly wanted to ask what type of steroids he took, because holy shit he was built like a miniature Hulk.
He rumbled lowly, his nostrils flaring as I snapped my eyes back to his own. I could tell he noticed my little observation, and he didn't hide the fact he didn't like it.
"Give me the camera,"
I had to pause at the sound of his voice, my face shifting gradually when I realized he could speak English. His voice was low and raspy like he was a heavy smoker and all his years of smoking finally caught up to him – I don't know what I was expecting the turtle man to sound like, but it definitely wasn't that.
April helped me stand, wrapping her arms around my waist protectively as we stared at him wide-eyed. I could feel her hands shaking against my waist, causing a spark of protectiveness to wash over me. There was a bead of sweat forming on my forehead as my knees wabbled.
"Ooh, look, he's doing his Batman voice," A voice snorted from behind the red-clad turtle, voice lowering to mock him.
"They're so hot, I can feel my shell tightening," A higher-pitched voice strained, prompting me to raise an eyebrow.
Excuse me?
I tried to shift my gaze around the red-clad turtle in front of me, wanting to see who was talking, but his big ass shell was blocking my view.
The red-banded turtle rolled his jaded eyes and turned to look back over his shoulder, or more like his shell. "We can hear you," He growled.
I tensed more as he turned back to us, his eyes locking me again in as he unsheathed something from both sides of his abdomen and I looked down.
Recognition flashed in my gaze as I stared at the familiar fork-like daggers.
So he was the one I saw that night? The shadow man? Holy shit! This is all starting to make sense—
I nearly jerked back when he placed one of the daggers under my chin, his jaw ticking as my breath quickened.
Jesus, what is his problem? My heart started to sporadically flutter faster as a twinge of fear settled in my stomach, afraid he might nick my skin with the sharp object.
He took a small step closer to me, having to slouch over drastically so he could get in my face. I could tell this was his way to intimidate me, and I would be lying if I said it wasn't working. His hot breath tickled my face, causing a light scrunch on my nose to form as I leaned back and tucked my chin toward my chest, promptly showing a double chin.
I was tempted to head-butt this turtle if he got any closer to me. Did this dude know anything about personal space? Because damn, he was so close, if I wanted to, I could boop him on the nose.
All witty remarks seemed to leave me as my brain was still trying to understand what I was seeing. So, panicking, I said the first thing that came to mind.
"Dude, you need a breath mint,"
As soon as the words left my mouth, Red's non-existent brows shot up in shock, as if my words had slapped him in the face. There was a loud boisterous laugh that came from behind him, which had the red turtle quickly recovering from his shock when he realized what I said.
He sharpened his harsh glare down at me, looking somewhat offended. "Wha—why I outta—" He lifted my chin higher with the dagger, "If you don't give me the camera, I'm gonna—"
"You're gonna what? Poke us to death with your little forks? Ooh, I'm shivering." I said before adding, "And by the way, you sound nothing like Batman – if anything, you sound constipated. Don't disrespect Bruce Wayne like that."
I don't know if it was the fall I took, or the amount of cake I ate tonight. But I found myself knocking my uninjured arm against his to move the dagger out of my space. I knew running my mouth was probably going to get me hurt, but this turtle was rude as hell. And that shit wasn't about to fly with me.
I could feel April's eyes glaring at me, most likely wishing I would shut up.
A loud snort came from behind the red turtle again, followed by a frenzy of giggles. If he was mad before, he was defiantly livid now. His face started to change, and if he could blush, I was certain his cheeks would be the color of his mask.
He cracked open his mouth to speak again, but a loud voice cut him off.
"Enough!" I stepped back and watched as another turtle flipped over us, landing on the other side of the rooftop – this one sporting a blue mask.
What's up with the multi-colored masks? Are they color-coded turtles or something? Was I missing the punch line?
My eyes flickered to the two weapons he gripped in his large hands tightly, and I instantly recognized them to be Katana's. He glanced down, his face stern as he assessed the three of us. I suddenly felt really small under his gaze, as if I were a child being scolded.
I watched as he twisted his wrists, expertly spinning his weapons before lifting his arms and sliding them onto the back of his shell, crossing them into a large 'X'.
"Back off, Raph." He ordered, looking over to the turtle in red.
So rude turt has a name? I thought before looking back at Blue.
The red turtle, Raph, let out an aggravated growl as he stepped back and moved away. "I only saw Batman once!—she made fun of my voice and said I needed a mint." He whispered the last part to himself, but I heard him perfectly.
"Ladies, hello. I apologize." The blue-clad turtle said coolly, effortlessly dropping from the edge in one step as he moved in front of us. "My colleague here forgot to say please – so would you please hand over the camera?"
At this point, he was standing but a few feet away. His eyes, which were the brightest blue I had ever seen, glanced down at the camera hanging from my neck before looking back up at my face, his mask shifting as he lifted a non-existent brow. This turtle seemed a lot calmer than the first, but that didn't make me trust him in the slightest.
The scenario good cop, bad cop coming to mind.
I instinctively grasped my sister's hand, tugging her closer to me as I backed away, refusing to give up my beloved camera in fear that they might smash it.
Blue started to take a few steps closer when he noticed us backing away, and I was quick to stop him by throwing my finger in his face. "Ah, Ah! No! You stay."
His face looked rather shocked for a moment at my boldness, and I was surprised when he actually came to a stop. He blinked a few times as if he couldn't believe I just told him to stay put like a dog. I took this as my chance to turn, pulling on April so we could find an escape—
My body jolted to a stop when we came face to face with another turtle – this one in orange.
Holy shit! Are they fucking multiplying?!
April gasped and sprung back, letting me go in the process. My arm flew up out of instinct, not expecting him to be so close. Just before I could make contact and hit him for being in my personal bubble, the Orange-clad turtle was quick to catch me by the wrist, shocking the literal hell out of me.
"Whoa, dudette! chill, it's just a mask. See? Don't freak out—right?" He used his other hand to take off his mask, dangling the fabric in my face with a boyish smile on his face.
One of my brows quirk of its own accord as I tensely glimpse at his massive hand that was wrapped around my small wrist, noting he only has three fucking fingers. He saw the look on my face, a sheepish grin morphing on his lips as he quickly let go.
At the rate my breathing was going, I began to feel a little lightheaded, my heart still fluttering in my chest as my legs became shakier. Oh no. I blinked a few times as the turtle in front of me became blurry. When I blinked again, the red turtle was suddenly standing by the orange one, both watching me with strange looks on their faces as I took a stumbling step back.
Shit, I don't feel good.
"Ray?" April's voice seemed far away, though I knew she was literally right behind me.
Just as I began to collapse, a pair of large hands caught me, and my body went limp.
"Oh, that went well."
"BREATHING STEADY. Blood pressure stabilizing." Someone said as a bright beam shined in my eyes.
My thoughts were jumbled the second I could make out multiple green faces hovering over me.
"Why are we still here playing doctor?" A deeper voice growled, sounding annoyed.
"Because, other than her injured wrist—which you caused—She might have a head injury."
"Uh, correction, she's a hot chick who may have a head injury. Which makes it our civic duty—"
"Would you knock it off."
I jerked away when a green hand was suddenly in my face, three fingers snapping. I blinked a few times as I squinted my eyes at the turtle. He was wearing a pair of goggles and was wearing a purple mask. When he noticed I was conscious enough, he quickly moved out of my space, allowing me to sit up.
"Tink, are you okay?"
I felt instant comfort from the nickname and glanced over to see my sister staring at me with concern, her hand lightly pressed against my knee. I nodded my eyes blinking a few more times as I noticed my vision was still impaired. My hands snap to my face, panic washing over me when I realize my glasses are gone.
The urge to pull a Velma and shout 'My glasses!' hit me as I started to look around for them. Before I could promptly start freaking the hell out, April tapped my shoulder and I felt instant relief when she pulled them out and placed them on my face for me. I gave her a grateful nod, adjusting them before I turned my attention to the four turtles watching us.
I can't believe I passed out.
I twisted my lips, rubbing my hurt wrist while my eyes drifted to each turtle, taking them in as I stood to my feet with the help of my sister.
"What are you?" April asked, also looking at them.
The blue-clad turtle glanced at the others before moving forward slightly. "Well, Miss, uh, we're ninjas." He leaned the top part of his body forward, resting his fist into the palm of his hand and bowing his head at us respectively.
I found myself actually wanting to smile at his actions.
The urge to smile quickly disappeared as soon as the red brute, who I remember being called Raph, spoke up, his eyes set in a hard glare as he stared at us "We're mutants."
The purple one, which I noticed was the tallest out of all of them, looked at us, his goggles gone and replaced with glasses. "Well, technically we're turtles."
"Oh, and we're teenagers! But we can still have...adult conversations." The Orange-clad turtle says, wiggling his fingers and winking at us.
I let out a sound of surprise, gaining their attention. "No, I am a teenager." I gestured to myself with both hands, my eyes wide as I looked back at them incredulously. "Like, honestly, you look like grown-ass men — I mean turtles..."
"You're a teenager?!" The orange banded one whispered in shocked wonder as he approached me, bending and placing his hands on his knees as he got in my face like he was analyzing a rare specimen. I took a step back and gave him a look as he muttered, "But...you're so tiny,"
I made a face at his words, "I'm not that short! I'm a pretty normal height for a girl..."
The purple-wielding turtle let out an amused snort, prompting us to look at him now. "Actually, you seem to be around 5'2 and the normal height for a human female is—"
"Can we please get back on topic guys? We don't have time to share facts and height charts." Blue interrupted us, making me turn to him with a lifted brow.
I promise, I tried to stop my eyes from rolling, I really did, but they had a mind of their own. "Bossy ass," I muttered under my breath.
His eyes snapped to me, and I instantly knew he heard what I said, causing me to shoot him an innocent smile in return.
April, who was still hung up on their existence stepped forward to butt in, "Wait, So, you're—ninja, mutant, turtle, teenagers?" she questioned, sounding slightly ridiculous with how she worded it.
My lips pursed and I shook my head, "That sounds silly—" I glanced at April disappointed, "Why not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? It has a better ring to it."
"Agreed," The one in purple said, causing me to look back at him with a smile.
I glanced at all of them again, curiosity shining in my eyes as I began to wonder how this even happened. It's not every day you run into humanoid turtles who can speak perfect English. There has to be more to this.
My eyes stopped on Raph, catching the glare he was giving as he watched me look around at them. I lifted a brow, and his expression only grew more annoyed. "They're lookin' at us like we're freaks." He suddenly spat, pointing his fork dagger at me.
Seriously, what is this turtle's malfunction? He seemed to be the only one with a thorn in his side and it was starting to piss me off.
"I bet that's why you took our picture, wasn't it? To show your friends" He accused as he pointed at me again, a smug look mixing with his irritated one. "That is, if ya' have friends."
My mouth dropped in shock at his dig at my social life. Who did this turtle think he was? He was being such an ass, and for what?
"Look here 'Mr.Batman'—" I decreased my voice into a mocking tone, trying to mimic the baritone voice he did earlier, "When it comes to disrespect, I'm usually open-minded, but you've been a real ass tonight, so I'm about to be open-handed and smack the shit outta you!" I sass back before somewhat shouting, "Don't play with me!"
Crickets. There's a distinct pause as all four turtles look comically baffled at my little outburst. They were probably wondering how much damage a small girl like me could do to a six-foot mutant turtle, but I swear if he said another rude ass thing to me, they will all find out.
Suddenly, a very boyish laugh filled the tense atmosphere and I swung my gaze over to the orange-clad turtle, watching as he clutched his stomach from laughing so hard.
"Dudes I think I just fell in love – Raph she just put you in your place bro!"
The red-banded turtle shot the other one a sharp glare, his lip curling as he yanked his intense gaze back in my direction. I took a tiny step back as the hothead dropped down from the ledge he was perched on, his green eyes burning into my own. I noticed his scarred lip quirk into a smirk when he saw me step back. Something in his hand caught my attention, so I looked down and froze upon seeing my camera dangling in his grasp.
"Looking for this?" He taunted, his smirk growing as he observed the shocked expression on my face.
I quickly patted down my body, as if I wasn't looking at my camera. What the hell?! My mouth formed a tight line as he got closer to me, my head having to tilt back so I could stare him directly in the eyes.
Don't show fear, be the bad bitch you know you are.
"I swear, if you break my camera, I'll monkey jump your ass!"
He gave me a challenging look in return, "Bring it, Trouble," His gaze fell from my face and traveled over my body, sizing me up. "I can take ya."
I ignored the nickname as the annoyance I felt grew, "I don't know the anatomy of a mutant turtle, but I'm so close to kicking you in the balls if you don't back the fuck up!" I growled, jabbing a finger in his shell-covered chest.
It's been I while since I've gotten this upset, usually I was chill. But this turtle seemed like he really enjoyed pressing my buttons.
For a moment I could have sworn fear flashed in his eyes when I mentioned kicking him down under. And he seemed to close his stance a little. But before any more words could be shared between us, blue stepped in, moving Raph back.
"How many times do I have to tell you? We don't break things, we fix them. Donnie already wiped the camera, genius – Problem solved, moving on." The blue-clad turtle spoke, his eyes hardening on Raph who now seemed embarrassed by being scolded.
I snapped my head toward the purple turtle, assuming he was the one who messed with my stuff. "You did what?!" My voice squeaked, causing the purple banded turtle to jump and his glasses-covered eyes to round. "Please tell me you didn't wipe everything!"
My whole life was on that damn thing! He better not have erased the memory, I only took one picture!
The purple, Donnie, looked extremely uncomfortable and slightly panicked. He opened his mouth to speak, but the big brute cut him off before he could defend his actions.
"And who put you in charge?" Red rumbled, anger sparking in his green eyes as he turned to face blue.
Now Blue seemed pissed, his chest bumping into Raph's as he matched his aggression. "You know who did." His voice lowers and I find myself taking a small step back.
I had a feeling a fight was about to break out, and I didn't want to be caught in the middle of that.
These guys are really moody.
"Ooh, tension! It's been like thirty whole minutes since you guys had this argument." The orange one butted in with a smile on his face, not seeming fazed by the other turtle's aggressiveness.
"Leonardo, if we want to make it home before Master, we gotta hustle," Donnie spoke up, glancing at his wrist which had a cool-looking watch on it.
For a moment I pause, a sense of familiarity washing over my mind as I thought over that name.
"Leonardo?" I heard April whisper from beside me, causing me to look over at her with a questioning look.
Has she heard of that name before too?
The blue one, Leonardo, turned to me. I kept quiet as he stepped closer and held out my camera for me to take. "Do not say a word about this to anyone," he lowered himself to my height, and even though he was bent over, I still had to look up. "If you do, we will find you." His eyes swayed between me and April for a second, "April and Grayson O'Neil."
He was back to standing his full height; A serious superior look casting in his blue eyes. He turned his head to look at Raph, narrowing his eyes slightly. "We're on the move, Raphael."
"Raphael...?" I murmured this time, my brows pinched together. Where have I heard these damn names before?
A deep rumble followed after I said the name, which caused me to look up. It was Raphael. When we locked eyes, I could see his shoulders tense as he shot me a displeased look. I stared at him for a long moment, trying to read this strange being. He stared back and I could only assume he was doing the same with me.
I could tell he was the most guarded out of the other three, and I was quick to pick up on the fact he seemed insecure about what others thought about his appearance. I would have to remember not to stare if I wanted to stay on his good side. That is, if he even had one.
Like a splash of cold water to the face; Raphael moved away from us, before squaring his shoulders and placing his little bitty weapons back in their holster. He locked eyes with me once more and shot me a pointed glare, the toothpick in his mouth shifting.
Yep, this guy really doesn't like me...Wait, where did the toothpick come from?
"Yeahhh, we'll find you, O'Neil." The orange started doing weird hand gestures as he gradually backed away.
I quirked a brow at how odd and disturbing it sounded.
I jumped a little as he came back quickly, an awkward smile on his face, "I'm sorry, that came across super creepy, okay?" He chuckled nervously, "But we will find you though." He pointed at us, shooting a small wink.
He's weird. I giggled softly.
An award-winning smile broke out on his face as he heard my laugh, looking like a child in a candy shop. He waved me goodbye as he ran after the others who had begun to leave. Leonardo shot him a stern look when he finally caught up, muttering something to him under his breath.
April rushed after them, her phone now out and raised to snap more pictures as they disappeared into the night.
I rolled my eyes before joining her at the edge of the building, smirking to myself.
"It was like fire brah, did you see me back there? She's totally into me, I made her laugh!"
"Shut it, Mikey." I recognized that voice to be Raphaels.
I glanced over at April, my smile spreading somewhat in excitement.
I knew after tonight, that neither of our lives were ever going to be the same.
MASTERLIST
#bayverse tmnt#fanfic writing#bayverse raphael#teenage mutant ninja turtles#bayverse leo#bayverse donnie#bayverse mikey#tmnt bayverse#bayverse raph
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"ppl who celebrate character birthdays are annoying pass it on"
FUCK this post, and Happy Birthday Neon Kurama~! ...right, so you know it's all gonna go horribly wrong, but she's our friend! We support her!
Spoilers, I guess...
-What a massive L the Jyamato have taken.
-Garden Grandpa has become Construction Grandpa!
-OOOOOOOH
-Oh hey Daichi. Just sorta hangin' around, huh?
-I don't blame you tbh, I'd be sitting on my ass too.
-April 4th! That's two days from now!
-:)
-Happy Basuday~!
-...:(
-They kidnapped the poor girl on her birthday.
-"What do you even get the Celebrity 'It' Girl who has everything? ...aside from loving parents, treatment like a normal human being, a boyfriend who isn't over twice her age, and a break from creepy weirdos on the internet?"
-...three, five, and seven, huh?
-Keiwa's just totally numb to all of Ace's... Ace-iness.
-Toro, toro!
-It's a Toreador! Just like the ones referenced in that indie horror game from 2014! Octodad: Dadliest Catch!
-...is this just the Seito/Touto proxy battle arena from Build? I think it is, at least, I'm probably wrong.
-Beroba continues to Bull-y Michinaga for her entertainment.
-Fight!
-I swear, by my sword and capote, that I will once again prove victorious!
-Bullfight!
-Rook! Bishop! Buffa! All the most powerful chess pieces!
-Shut the fuck up Chirami, you ain't doing shit.
-"Happy Birthday :)"
-Na-Go Stans are wildin'
-We win, we party!
-Hot damn, Keiwa!
-Oooooh, disarming yourself for a shot? Clever.
-Oh, whoops! Bero be cheatin', who coulda guessed!
-"You cheated. You didn't learn, you didn't improve."
-Oh God, Beroba's gonna leak her DMs.
-Gotta win!
-Oh hello, Kyuun.
-"A present! For me~?"
-"No! >:( ...Maybe :("
-You're so full of crap, man.
-Free Boost~!
-Sweet and salty! Just like sea-salt ice cream!
-Word of advice lads, be honest.
-OH FUCK, IT'S DAD
-...I think I forgot his name, I'm just gonna call him Papa Naoto until I remember it.
-You're only like... marginally better a parent than your wife, man. And that's only because you don't hit her or constantly try restraining her.
-...man, I just realized, Neon suffers trauma from being kidnapped at a young age and her mother just... holds her captive. Irony at its most fucked up.
-To be quite honest, I don't think Kyuun'd be much better company than Jeff Pesos or whoever Izumi had in mind.
-Man, these supporter plotlines are so interesting, holy shit.
-Ah, yep. There's Ace. Looking into it.
-"Geats. How unexpected."
-...Waaaait...
-"I've had quite enough of family matters from last season, thank you very much."
-KOUSEI, THAT'S HIS NAME
-Ace, you don't just walk up to a girl and lay her backstory out like that.
-I'll give Kousei credit, he at least seems legitimately worried.
-Doesn't even seem to have a scratch on her. Seems a little at odds with the depiction of the kidnapping itself, huh?
-Man... Can't even cake.
-Time for the mountain lion to descend upon the bull.
-...shit, that was lame. Pretend you never noticed that.
-OH?
-Okay, it's Ace time!
-Beroba's such a scrublord. Or uh... scrublady, as the case may be.
-Ooooooh, boy!
-Set!
-Dual On! Ninja! Magnum!
-Ready, Fight!
-Get splashed, idiot!
-"Two, huh?"
-Set!
-Ooooooh, he's not going into Laser Boost, okay!
-That's neat! They kept that suit around!
-PNGTuber Beroba.
-Ohhhhhh noooo
-You're an absolutely horrendous excuse of human being, Beroba.
-Great job Takahashi, banger villain. Especially you Namika-san, you're putting in a fantastic performance <3
-Ohhh, Ace is MAD mad.
-Everybody loves Na-Go-san!
-...holy shit, that is so cruel. They just
-Instantly went on a targeted harassment campaign.
-AKARI?
-Ohhhh
-...that's
-That's depressing as fuck.
-...that goes a long way to explain why Izumi was so controlling and Kousei dumped all his money into... I'm gonna be completely honest, what's basically a snuff film ring.
-Why would he let Giroli pick Neon to play then?
-"She was lying" SHUT THE FUCK UP
-Completely ruined my homegirl's life.
-Fucking MURDER that thing, Ace.
-Oh shit, Kyuun! My dude!
-Next episode.
-#NaGoSweep!
#kamen rider geats#kamen rider#kr geats#geats#geats spoilers#the world's next round: trick shot of desire for the grand victory
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ED TW!!!
There’s a girl walking next to me to class. We barely know each other, met just two weeks ago. She’s everything I seem not to be. Calm, collected, loving, kind. I may participate more in class but I’m sure she goes home and feels loved.
She says loves the fall, sleeves of her jumper pulled over her hands, a smile on her face, not even shivering in the cold.
Next to her my old oversized sweatshirt fails to warm me, heart beating in my ears as each breeze seems to strike me as hard as it possibly can. I tell her I hate the fall. That I was born in summer and therefore have fallen in love with the heat.
A semi-lie. I did not hate the fall. But hate how the sun sets earlier now, how the leaves are browning. I’m back in September 2014, all my friends are in class again. I am in the backseat of my parents’ car, listening to a Sleeping with Sirens song through my headphones. In front my dad says something about the traffic. I pretend not to hear him. To not have the guilt eat me alive. It has been a whole summer of them driving me to places to get me checked. Anorexia. They say. As if I would believe them.
Sitting up is too much effort, paying attention is too much effort, walking the dog is too much effort. All these appointments are too much effort. I am sick and I do not believe them when they tell me. Only in the rare moments where the stairs feel never ending and black dots cloud my vision, I doubt it. I may believe them for a second.
It is just this. It was September and my life had paused. I was there but never really. Locked up in the house, treated like a patient. They had to keep me alive. I get that now. But it hurt to be in so much pain and only feeling them fight me. It hurt. It just fucking hurt. And I cannot see the leaves on the ground and feel the cold wind on my face and smell how summer is slowly fading away without feeling that small again. Like the world is made of punishments and I am the worst of our kind. I’ve eaten myself and now they’re trying to save me and I don’t know if I want to be saved even. Each bite feels like I’m failing myself and I need to do it for them but where the fuck did I go?
It smells like fall and I remember how my sister and mother cried as they helped me in the shower as I was too weak to do it myself. I remember how everything hurt and bruised and smelled. And wasn’t it stupid how the internet made dying look pretty? Wasn’t this supposed to be better? They promised me being skinny would be good. It would be beauty and grace and I’d wear skirts that showed my knobby knees and everyone would congratulate me. I would not get stared at with pity. They didn’t tell me that the only time out of the house would be to go to the fucking hospital.
I don’t know how many tears I had to swallow to get there. I don’t know how much I hurt before I made myself disappear. I never let myself feel it. It was easier to be nothing. It was better if I was nothing. If I gave everyone else more room to worry about something else. It was better if I just wasn’t there. It always felt like I was too much so here I was trying to make myself little.
I made myself little and all they did was care.
So it is fall now. And I stuff my face with chips while laughing with my friends. We drink soda and I don’t think twice about it. And all of it is fine. Yet each breeze of September wind blows another memory back into my brain. It is simple, I cannot forget how it felt.
To sleep with my mom in my childhood bedroom, how she held me as we both cried afraid this would be the night I wouldn’t wake up.
The sunset reminds me of this school party, one girl brave enough to ask me if it wasn’t time for me to eat something other than the lettuce I piled upon my plate. I ate two pieces of bread. Went home early, hoping I’d be alone so I could stick my fingers down my throat.
A little ramble story about how I developed an eating disorder to deal with trauma and how the ED itself became a traumatic experience that now haunts me every fall...
No worries. I am good. I’ve recovered from anorexia. Life is much better than it was and I am nothing but glad that I was able to get out of that hell. If only it would let me go.
I never let myself feel all that I actually needed to feel when I was going through that shit, so I guess I’m processing it all now. Step by step, tear by tear.
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to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest) - a TMA fanfic
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] || Also on AO3
Chapter 6: June 2014
“There he is,” Melanie announces, her shoulders relaxing as she spots someone coming towards them. “Better get rid of that thing before he makes you eat it.”
“He worries too much,” Gerard grumbles, but he flicks the cigarette over the rail and watches it tumble into the Thames, then turns and gives a crooked grin to the approaching figure.
“Sorry, there was a mad rush to return books right at the end of the day, and I had to make sure everything was buttoned up before I could leave.” Martin holds out his arms to Melanie for a hug, which she accepts fiercely, then turns to offer a hug to Gerard as well. Gerard can be iffy about physical contact at times, especially these days, but Martin is a world-class hugger and he’s meant comfort for almost twenty years, so he takes it with gratitude. A lot of the tension of the last few weeks seeps out of him, even as Martin says, sounding exasperated, “Those things will kill you, you know.”
“They’ll have to stand in line.” Gerard doesn’t bother pretending he doesn’t know what Martin is talking about, but he also doesn’t linger on the subject. He pulls back from the hug and adds, “Anything we need to keep an eye out for?”
“Nah, nothing new,” Martin replies, running a hand through his hair and leaning on the railing beside Gerard. Out of habit, they leave enough space for Melanie to—as she always does—wedge herself between them. Her excuse that she’s shorter than both of them and they can talk over her is good enough they all pretend to believe it’s the only reason she likes being in the middle. “That guy from Research—um, Tim, I think his name is? He asked when he was dropping off some books today if we had anything new on Smirke, but we were too busy to talk really and I didn’t get a chance to find out if it’s something they’re looking into down there or if it’s a personal project. I do know he’s read everything else the library’s got on him.”
Gerard turns the thought over in his mind for a moment, examining it from all angles. “I can maybe try to sound him out. Show up at closing time one day, you point him out to me. Think he’d go for the goth types?”
Martin raises an eyebrow at him. “Are you threatening to seduce information out of my coworker?”
“What, you don’t think I could pull off a honeypot mission?”
“You’d get lost halfway through,” Melanie interjects. “You’d either get bored or get invested. Anyway, who’s to say he’s into blokes?”
“I mean, he was wearing an earring with the bi pride flag, but…” Martin gestures vaguely. “Fine. If you want to give it a shot, you’d probably have better luck with him than I would, because trust me, when you see him, you will realize that he is way out of my league. I can try and get Diana to let me out a little early on Monday so I can point him out to you when he leaves.”
Gerard winces. “Uh, about that.”
Melanie’s exasperated sigh is loud enough to echo off the river. “Don’t tell me you’re going out of town again already. You just got back!”
“I—I actually wasn’t supposed to come back yet, but I had to. I needed to see you two before we go on this next bit.”
Worry shines in Martin’s eyes. “Gerry, this woman you’re working with…she sounds dangerous. If she’s dragging you all over the world without—”
“It’s not like that,” Gerard interrupts. “I-I mean…she is dangerous, but not to me.” At least, he amends in the privacy of his own mind, not deliberately. There are rumors, sure, and he doesn’t doubt for a minute she’ll sacrifice him in a heartbeat if she needs to, but it’s not quite like working for his mother. “It’s…there’s something going on. Something big. She can’t do it alone, and I’m what she’s got.”
“Anything we can help with here?”
Probably, is the answer, but Gerard is reluctant to bring them into it. No, not reluctant—afraid. Martin will do anything to protect the people he cares about, even put himself in danger and offer himself up as a sacrifice of some kind, and the days of Melanie getting into fistfights with people who looked at her or one of her brothers funny on the daily aren’t that far behind them. If he tells them about the Dance now, before they know how to stop it, they’ll throw themselves into researching it. And while Martin might have the good sense to not go poking around somewhere the Stranger might be accumulating power—might being the operative term—Melanie will absolutely stick her nose in something she shouldn’t, paint a big old target on herself, and end up getting used in the Unknowing. Gerard cannot, will not risk them. Not when everything he’s done in the last two years has been about keeping them safe.
“I don’t know,” he says at last. “Maybe. Let me see what we can do, and if we need you, I’ll be in touch.”
Melanie frowns up at him. “Okay, but what is it you’re working on?”
“I’ll tell you when I get back.”
“Gerard.”
“I know! I know, okay? It’s just…trust me. Please trust me.” Gerard takes a deep breath. “I swear on my father’s grave. The minute I get back, I’ll tell you both everything. Who I’m working with, what we’re doing. All of it. But for now, I need you guys to just…trust me. Let me do this.”
Martin presses his lips together tightly and looks out over the Thames. Gerard follows his gaze, even though he knows Martin isn’t actually looking at anything. He feels miserable.
This is it, he tells himself. Really it. He’ll help her with this, but once this is over, once they’re back in-country, he’s done. He’s not going on any more jaunts around the world, not getting involved in anyone else’s fight. Or at least not alone. He’s earned a rest, damn it, earned the chance to spend more than a couple of days in one place, more than just a few stolen moments and hurried meetings with the people he loves. He deserves the chance to play the skeptic for Melanie’s show, to embarrass Martin by flirting outrageously with his coworkers, to read a fucking book without worrying if it’s going to kill him or someone is going to kill him for it.
He wants to be home.
“I’ll be home by Christmas,” he says at last.
Melanie gives him a practiced side-eye. “You get how that’s not a comforting phrase, right?”
Martin whistles a couple bars of “Pack Up Your Troubles in Your Old Kit-Bag,” which does at least make Gerard smile, if a bit reluctantly. “Look, tell you what. If it doesn’t look like I’ll be home by…let’s say your birthday, Neenie? If I won’t be back by then, I’ll send for both of you. Wherever I am, I’ll get a couple tickets out there, and you two can come out and meet us. I’m not spending Christmas without you, whatever else is going on. I don’t care what she has to say. She gets six months out of me and then…and then I want my family back.”
Melanie punches him in the arm harder than necessary, then hugs him fiercely. “You damned well better be careful, Ger. I mean it. I don’t want you as a subject on my show.”
“Not my goal.” Gerard hugs her back and reaches for Martin, who comes over and completes the circle.
“When do you leave?” Martin’s voice is soft and resigned.
“Whenever the next plane leaves for New Zealand. I’ve got time for dinner first, I think.” Gerard pulls back, but without letting go of the other two. “C’mon. Let’s go.”
#ollie writes fanfic#tma fanfic#to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest)#melanie king#gerard keay#martin blackwood#smoking#littering#mention of seduction#mention of danger#god these early chapters are so difficult to cw
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With the Percy Jackson series coming out soon, I thought to read the book series again. I'm on the third book The Titan's Curse. Where Nico di Angelo is first introduced. It reminded me of an additional chapter I made for the last book from the second series The Blood of Olympus. I'm not much into writing fan fiction, but I always felt Nico deserved a happy ending. I wrote it back in 2014.
NICO
He never excepted so many questions. Nico felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders when he finally told Percy that he had had a crush on him. But for four days, Percy wouldn't leave him alone. Percy kept asking questions. Nico did his best to ignore them or if he saw Percy he would hide.
"But what do you mean I wasn't your type? Dude! We've been friends for a long time! Why did you never tell me! Is this why you pulling away from everyone? Was this my fault?!" Impressed that Percy could still breathe.
Nico pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled loudly. "Percy, it doesn't matter if you were my type or not, it would never have worked, besides you HAVE ANNABETH! Can we please drop this?"
He walked away fast, hoping Percy wasn't following. He had to find Annabeth, if anyone could control Percy it was her, he wandered around the camp, until he spotted her in front of Athena's cabin.
"Oh my gods! Annabeth, I need your help with Percy."
"What's he doing now?"
"He won't stop asking me questions, I'm ready to slug him."
Annabeth fell over laughing, "well I think you dented his ego a bit with that "You weren't my type" comment."
"Can you please stop laughing, this is serious." Nico felt childish for doing so, but he stuck his tongue out at her.
"Fine," she tried to catch her breath, "I'll see what I can do."
"Thank you!" He looked at his watch, "Dang, I'm late. Talk to you later Annabeth."
Nico ran as fast as he could to the infirmary, he stopped for a moment outside the door to catch his breath. As he walked in, a large number of demigods greeted him, there were still a few that looked nervous around him, and he couldn't blame them. It didn't bother him, he just kept walking to the back of the cabin.
"Well look who it is, the son of Hades himself." A blonde hair guy stood up straight, after examining a broken arm. "Glad you could join us."
"I'm sorry, I had to ask Annabeth for help with Percy, he won't stop questioning me." Damn, Nico thought, too much information.
Will Solace gave him a questioning look, "Oh, what is he asking?"
"Um, nevermind that." Nico tried to think fast, "uh, is there anything I can assist you with today?"
"Hmm, well actually yes, thank you for asking." Will seemed to have dropped the subject. "We keep running out of bandages, could you please cut us more? Everyone is healing fast, but there are still a lot of injuries." He walked Nico over to a small desk, held out the supply of bandage rolls and scissors.
The days kept on like this, with any free time they had, Nico and Will would hangout near Thalia's tree, and look to Camp Half-Blood, just talking, joking,and laughing. Nico finally felt like he belonged, he had friends, actual friends, not kids just pretending to be nice. Percy seemed to have finally let the questions go and they could all have normal conversations. When Nico was alone, he would design the new interior of his cabin, brightened it up.
Everything was going relatively well for a month after the war with Gaea, but Nico knew happiness only lasted so long for children of the Underworld, and was worrying about when this would end. Nico and Will sat in their usual spot, not saying anything, just relaxing. Nico slipped into deep thought, his realization that even with how nice it was being friends with Will Solace, he would never be truly happy because the friendship wouldn't go anything further.
"What's wrong?" Will knew when there was something wrong.
"Hmm, sorry. I was just thinking."
"What about?"
"Nothing, we're cool." Nico was hoping the matter wouldn't press on.
"Dude, I'm like almost your best friend now, right?" Will smiled
Damn, no such luck, Nico thought, he hesitated, "ye-yes?"
"Well then you should be able to tell me anything, am I right?" His blue eyes pierced into Nico's soul, so much concern, Nico wasn't used to it.
"I'm just," Nico paused, "afraid that what I say, might lose you as a friend, and I don't want that."
"Please just tell me, I promise you'll still have me as a friend," Will reassured. Ugh, stubborn demigod, Nico thought.
He took a deep breath. "I like you." Nico took a moment before he looked at Will's reaction.
Will laughed, "I like you too."
Ugh, Nico dreaded this moment, he's kept himself from saying the word. But it made conversations like this hard, he never wanted to be so different from the other demigods, but this and being a son of Hades was just cruel.
Nico took another deep breath and the words came out so fast that he couldn't stop himself. "No, I mean I like, like you. Like how Percy and Annabeth are, and this past month has been great, and I'm glad we are friends, but I'm sad that it will never go any further than this, and with me saying all this, I just don't want to lose-" Nico was interrupted by Will kissing him.
Once Will pulled away Nico just sat there, frozen, silent, and wide-eyed. No words came to mind.
Will laughed. "I told you like you too."
"I, I, uh, okay," Nico's brain hadn't fully restarted yet, "Um, that uh, was um, not, the um reaction, I was, um, excepting."
Will grabbed Nico's face, "di Angelo."
Nico couldn't stop staring into those blue eyes, "yes?" His voice cracked
"Shut up." Will leaned once more and they kissed again.
#percy jackson#the titans curse#nico di angelo#son of hades#gay#spoiler#spoilers#the heros of olympus#The blood of olympus#will solace#son of apollo#rick riordan#fan fiction#fanfiction#disney plus#disney+#son of pluto
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First up in the favourite tags series is Healing.
Be it physical, mental or emotional healing (are those last two the same thing? anyway) there’s so much to love about this element being included in fiction in general.
Do you, like me, have some kind of fixation with seeing the characters you love get hurt? Of course you do, that’s why the hurt/comfort tag is so damn popular. So why did I choose healing and not hurt/comfort you ask? I guess because “healing” implies a lot of hard work. The hardest part of getting hurt is not actually getting hurt, it’s having to pick yourself back up again. It’s something we all have to do in some form or another. So, it makes for some of the greatest stories.
I’m going to spend some time with this tag for the next however long and keep you updated. For now, here are a few fics I’ve already read with the healing tag:
there now, steady love (so few come and don't go) by we_are_the_same @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed
harry styles/louis tomlinson, 42k
It becomes just another fact of life. The sky is blue. The grass is green. Louis sees when people are about to die.
This Multiplicity of Powers by HelloAmHere @helloamhere
harry styles/louis tomlinson, 149k
Maybe in another universe he isn’t different. Maybe he hadn’t been given an impossible choice. Maybe he wouldn’t have lost everything and broken everything and then fallen impossibly, irrevocably in love with the first next thing that was kind. Maybe in that universe he doesn’t feel like he’s never breathing, always pretending, teaching the kids even though they all have to learn alone, trying hard not to read the headlines, and so afraid, every day, that he won’t be a good enough teammate to the superhero he can’t live without. He knows that love isn’t supposed to feel this way, slid secret under your skin like a surgical razor, an invisible war held close over the tender vein that keeps you alive. On the other hand, Louis wonders, had he ever known how to do it any other way?
Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside.
But this isn’t that universe.
//an X-Men AU.
driving down a one way road (to something better) by we_are_the_same @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed
zayn malik/louis tomlinson, 26k
When Zayn breaks up with his boyfriend, he needs a place to stay. Louis wouldn't be Louis if he didn't immediately open his doors to him. Never mind the fact that he's been in love with him for two years. That's not important, right?
Stairway to Heaven by fleurdeliser @fleurdeliser, tuesdaysgone
frank iero/grant morrison/gerard way, 57k
Father Way accidentally taps into the memories of an angel, and stumbles into the middle of a millennia-long doomed romance.
helplessness blues by temerity (forsanethaec)
Niall Horan/Louis Tomlinson, 32k
Louis gets dumped and gives up on himself at the end of 2014. Niall steps in to help.
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