#abuse victim | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neuroticboyfriend · 1 year

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As an adult still living with their abusive parent, I often find that affirmations meant to empower me are unhelpful at best. They often feel like they're overstating the amount of agency I have as an adult; I've spent my entire life being abused. It's all I know and I have a lifetime of conditioning and nervous system damage to show for it.

All that doesn't just go away now that I'm older than 18, and neither do the material circumstances that keep me here. Even though I have more legal rights and have grown since I was younger, I am still not in control by the very nature of being the victim in an abusive relationship. So, for those who relate, here are some affirmations that might hit different:

My abuser does not have my best interests in mind, even if they think they do.

I am my own person; my mind and body belong to me.

My feelings are justified, and I deserve to feel and express them.

I am doing what I need to survive, and that is all I need to do.

I am doing my best given the knowledge, resources, and support I have.

I am the only person who can decide what is best for me.

My situation is unfair and wrong. I deserve to be happy and safe.

I do not have to engage in toxic positivity; that will only hurt me.

As long as I am alive, there is something good in this life for me - no matter how small.

I have inherent rights just because I exist.

I shouldn't have to deal with this on my own; I deserve support and protection.

Everything I need is something I deserve. Everything I deserve is something I need.

If any of these don't resonate, feel free to discard them. Everyone finds comfort and empowerment differently.

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brok3nvinyl · 1 year

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Why wasn’t I happy

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one-abuse-survivor · 2 years

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Abusers have human sides to them too.

When abuse, whether real or fictional, is talked about in media, one of two things usually happens. The abuser is either completely dehumanised and painted as an evil caricature, or given a tragic backstory that makes the victim feel so sorry for their abuser they end up forgiving them.

And I think this is part of why it can be so hard to believe we ourselves are going through abuse. Because when it's you going through it, you see the human side of your abuser too. You see them cry, and laugh, and overcome adversity, and be vulnerable, and feel scared and small. You see them struggle and you see them genuinely try to spend quality time with you, and you see them show the ways they love you. Sometimes, you can even see that they mean it when they say they love you.

And because we've been taught that "actual" abusers are all bad, heartless, merciless, and lacking in humanity, and everyone else is just a suffering person who hurt others because they were hurting inside, we think what we're going through can't possibly be abuse. We think we're exaggerating, or being weak, or selfish. We punish ourselves for not being more understanding of what they're going through. We convince ourselves we're making it all up and we're the monsters in our own story.

But we're not. We're just not used to acknowledging that abusers are human, and that their humanity does not negate their abuse.

If you've ever questioned your abuse because your abuser was struggling, or genuinely loved you, or was trying their best, or expressed conflicting emotions, or was abused themselves, this post is for you. I believe you. I believe what happened to you was abuse. Their circumstances did not justify their actions.

I believe you, and you are not alone.

#Abuse #Abuse tw #Abuse survivor #Abuse victim #abusive relationship #Abusive parents #Abusive family #Abusive partner #Abuse recovery #I know media does get it right many times #But not enough of them (in my personal opinion) considering how *wired* abuse victims are to believe they're not actually being abused #And if I see one more story where the victim is basically forced to empathise with their abuser and forgive and help them I WILL SCREAM

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furiousgoldfish · 6 months

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Which one of these are you vulnerable to?

(vulnerable as in, if it happens, you spiral into dark thoughts and you go to great lengths to avoid these)

Asking for help and getting rejected

Asking for help and being put in more danger

Having a friend lose interest in talking to you

Having a friend end the friendship because of something you did

Having a friend act toxic and abusive to you, because they want to end the friendship but don't want to be the one to call it

Having a friendship/relationship you didn't realize was one-sided until it abruptly ended

Confessing your crush and getting rejected

Confessing your crush and having them act disgusted

Having someone pretend to like you back, but they only want to keep you around because they like your attention, and you find out months later

Being discarded after you've invested a lot of energy and care into someone

Being ignored and treated as invisible by someone

Being ignored, treated invisible and judged by a group of people

Being criticized after you put a lot of energy into something

Being put down and told that you can't do anything right, after you put a lot of energy into something

Being yelled at for making a mistake

Being yelled at for getting hurt on accident

Being yelled at for hurting someone

Your friend not siding with you in an event of abuse, bullying or injustice

Your friend arguing that it's unfair of you to want them to take sides

Gathering courage to open up about abuse only for the listener to instinctively defend abusers, and put you down

Opening up about about only to have it downplayed and dismissed

Opening up about abuse and having the other person pass judgment on you

Other people acting like you're poison, dangerous, infectious and malicious

Other people acting like you're stupid, and don't understand your own life and situation

Other people acting like they would have no trouble in your place

Being perceived as a burden and a problem for everyone else

Being in a group where you feel like you're the only one who doesn't belong

Getting outcasted from a group because someone in there who hurt you made up rumors about you that everyone believed

#toxic friendships #triggers #toxic relationships #psychological abuse #abuse victim #being abuse victim is just like this i feel like #trauma #triggering situations #abuse triggers #abuse aftermath #trauma aftermath

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system404singletnotfound · 3 months

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This is your reminder that abusive people can do good things, but they are still abusive!

They can help you

They can save your life

They can be nice to you

But this doesn’t excuse their abuse, and it doesn’t make your experience any less valid

#tw abuse #tw abuse mention #abuse tw #abuse mention #abuse ment tw #did #system #osdd #did system #mental illness #ptsd #cpstd #abuse survivor #abuse victim

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milomilesmib · 2 months

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Of course you're a gay abuse victim that wants a relationship like fizzmodeus where you feel safe and protected and loved without shame

#this is about me btw #i just came to this revelation so correct me if im wrong #helluva fizzarolli #fizzarolli #fizzaroli helluva boss #fizzmodeus #fizzarozzie #helluva boss asmodeus #asmodeus x fizzarolli #helluva boss #abuse victim #abuse recovery

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ouidepressoespresso · 1 year

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and when I cut all contact, I hope you realize what you’ve done.

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shrcker · 4 months

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Hey

I don't currently have a permanent home and have been looking alongside someone else in Ohio. I'm unemployed right now and not sure when I'll be able to work again and highly doubt I will ever get unemployment benefits. Because of that, I do need to ask if anyone would be willing to please tip so I can keep paying for my phone and food. It's by no means required and I really don't want to guilt trip anyone, I just need to make sure I can get through these next few months. Thank you.

If preferable I also have a kofi: https://ko-fi.com/shrcker

Edit: In class now for programming which will take a while but should at least help me get a job. Not writing anymore due to stress but could still use support considering I'm still just looking for any job. We have an apartment pinned down, the only thing stopping us from moving in is getting a job, so literally just gambling to see if I can get one at all every day. Please help if you can, I might be okay soon but I need to make sure I can feed myself till then too.

#lgbtq+#poverty #asking for help #queer #please share #abuse victim #escaping abuse

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neuroticboyfriend · 11 months

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as long as you're here, there is hope. as long as you're here, something can change. something can make you smile. something can give you peace. something can get better. as long as you're here, a better life is not impossible.

#softspoonie #mental health #mentally ill #mental illness #depression #severe depression #trauma #trauma survival #abuse survival #abuse survivor #trauma survivor #abuse victim #trauma victim #ptsd #cptsd #bpd #suicide prevention

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brok3nvinyl · 1 year

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I just wanna be loved

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lifeofafreckledredhead · 8 months

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I lost everything loving you

I lost my sanity

I lost My identity

I lost my standards

I lost my morals

I lost my boundaries

I lost myself loving you

A.Val

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furiousgoldfish · 9 months

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The problem with being an abuse victim is that while it's happening you're basically forced to stay silent because you're under a threat 24/7, and then when you get away and you gather the courage to speak out about what happened, someone always just says the most heinous insane shit to silence you and it fucks you up. Your courage gets squashed and you realize that you're still in a hostile place. You can't speak without people siding with your abusers and shaming you for daring to say a fact. And then what do you do after that. How do you find a place where you can be free.

#abuse victim #surviving abuse #healing from abuse #escaping abuse #victim silencing #victim blaming

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malehorror · 10 months

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why w hy why why why do i keep thinking about letting you hurt me again. why do i have these thoughts of being under your control again. i dont want it to happen but yet it feels so natural and i cant do this. you ruined me why . youreso disgusting but im even more disgusting for wanting to be hurt againm. is this all i am. why did you make me this way why why

#nccsa #csa vent #online nccsa #nccsa vent #online grooming #vent #hypersexual #tw repetition #abuse victim #abuse vent #abuse awareness #abuse survivor #trauma survivor

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alostlittleriverlotus · 8 months

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the fact narcissists, antisocials, pwPDs are required to be in recovery and getting help to be treated with decent respect and still won't get that respect because people will see the disorder and instantly think abuser/not human/psychopath/sociopath in derogatory ways says a lot.

We are told to get help, but the ableism of (disorder) abuse prevents us from getting help. The demonization of us prevents us from even finding resourceful articles to help us. Many professionals won't treat personality disorders because of stigma. Yet we're told to get and help and are treated like we're the ones unwilling to get help. That it makes us less acceptable because we don't get help.

If we have to be perfect human beings in recovery and so mature and self aware and basically everything positive and nothing negative to be worthy of respect and still will have people bombard us for simply having a disorder, that is ableist. These expectations wouldn't be on neurotypical shitty people or those without personality disorders. And the group of those with BPD lumping themselves in with being "anti narcissist" do nothing. These same stereotypes were there for BPD. I've seen BPD called Bratty Princess Disorder, told that they can't love, been called an emotional leech for having BPD.

The requirement that we must all be perfectly recovered healthy people to be acceptable and not treated like dirt or like monsters is the ableism we are calling out. But then narc abuse folks will take their trauma and use it as an excuse for throwing us under the bus.

Guess what. My abusive mom has NPD. The NPD doesn't make her abusive. She simply is a narcissist (neutral usage.) She's not abusive cause she has NPD. It doesn't make her more likely to be abusive. Her NPD doesn't create a unique type of abuse. She's just my mom that's abusive that has NPD cause of her own trauma. That's it.

Like I have to monitor my tone, I have to ensure everything I do is written perfectly, just to avoid being hurled verbal abuse and being told I'm a liar or treated poorly. I have to work so hard to be the patient and calm one and still won't be taken seriously. And if we're using abuse as justification, using my own emotions against me is exactly what my abusers did. I am not lesser because I get upset. I am not lesser because I have emotional regulation problems. I am not lesser because I don't monitor my tone. A lot of these also intertwine with my autism and BPD too.

So yeah. Telling someone to go get help or they should be in therapy fucking sucks. You don't know us, you don't know our experiences. Telling narcissists and pwPDs in general to be in therapy while simultaneously making it difficult for us to get help is ableist. We can't look up npd without being bombarded with how to spot a narcissist. Using the narcissism tag shows a lot of narc abuse stuff that stigmatizes us. And when we explain and ask you, calmly or not, you will not listen and paint us as villainous. You fit your own definition of narcissism by that logic. Big scary narcissism.

Maybe if you want narcissists to get better, stop making it difficult for us to get help. And you may not want narcissists dead, but I have seen natc abuse people who do. Look who you are siding yourself with. Look at the arguments you use and really examine them. They are similar thinking to other forms of ableism and other types of bigotry. We are expected to act perfectly or we are discredited.

No disorder makes someone more likely to be abusive. An abuser having a disorder that may impact the abuse does not make it (disorder) abuse. This kind of ableism WILL come back at you and is STILL being used against all disorders even if it's only popular for certain disorders. You won't win this way.

We just want you to fucking listen without getting defensive and using your trauma as a reason to feel justified in being ableist. I'm sorry for what you went through, but it will NEVER give you the right to stigmatize a group of people and lump a disorder in with abusers.

The things I've seen narcissists called or compared to is disgusting. Seeing psychopath narcissist is disgusting. Actually just be normal about mentally ill people for fucking once. And if we're using trauma to justify stuff, WE ARE TRAUMA VICTIMS AND ABUSE VICTIMS TOO!!!!!!!

Literally just stfu and stop. I've made posts being nicer about it, but frankly it's 2:30 am and I don't give a shit. I'm mad. And me being mad does not discredit anything I have said. You can listen or you can block me and move on.

Again, this post is very centered on narcissists/npd, but this goes for any abuse that may get treated as abusive. Y'all are just as welcome here in this safe space. Any disorder that gets lumped in with abuse is welcome here cause fuck that ableism. You're not abusive for having a disorder. Your disorder doesn't make you more likely to be abusive. You don't deserve the shit you get. We love you here :)

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gaudypackshawty · 1 year

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#weirdcore #deathcore #voidcore #abuse victim #traumacore #ventcore #dereality #derealization #dissasociation #old web #oddcore #dreamcore #dirtcore #cybercore #trauma tw #trauma art

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haupkmn · 8 months

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Not to sound like a stupid bitch who doesn't go outside but some people do genuinely DO have trauma with setting boundaries (It's me. I do).

I had an ex-friend that would repeatedly send me self-harm pictures if I tried to unfriend them on social media. One of my exes would threaten to violently kill themselves at their job if I tried to break up with them.

Most of my family members refused to listen to basic boundaries like not touching me and hit me when I asked them not to. It is genuinely hard to call someone out on their bullshit or block someone for some people so maybe. cut people slack.

#malasada break!#actuallyabused #abuse victim #not pokemon #actually traumatized #actuallytraumatized #okay to reblog

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