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nichuuu · 6 months

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Beats Me - 6: Come As You Are

Word count: 8k+

Of course, there’s a chance to turn away from all of this—a chance to stop her hand as it reaches the base of your shaft, a chance to halt her in the midst of tiptoeing to place a peck on your neck; there’s a clear opportunity for you to end what’s happening right here and now—it’s all a matter of how willing you are to go through with this. While your brain screams at you to stop, your body says otherwise; you lift a hand to cup her cheek.

As you tell her, “Just for tonight,” a wisp of a smile appears on her face, and you wonder, What am I doing.

---------

A call from Kim Minju at this hour is never good news.

To give context: It’s one in the morning on a Saturday. Office workers and the youth above the legal age for drinking are patronising drinking spots, throwing back a couple of beers and basking in the euphoria that alcohol brings them. Perhaps they're using alcohol to cope with the stress of their lives, or maybe they're trying to numb the pain of recent difficult experiences. In both cases, emotions are running high, alcohol is coursing through their systems, memories are resurfacing, and maybe, just maybe, tears are streaming down their cheeks—nothing too out of the ordinary. If you were to receive a call from anyone else at this hour, you would've thought it a request to be escorted back home, or a soused friend dialling in to say incomprehensible things before truncating the call.

But for more context: Kim Minju has been the bearer of bad news since highschool. If you are to combine this with the information above, you know that something has probably gone down, and you’re the only man she can trust to help them. She never calls you on a whim; every call from her is a desperate cry for help.

As you stare at her caller ID on your phone that vibrates on the table like it’s possessed, you start steeling yourself for what is to come. You’re hesitant to answer, but basic human decency gets the better of you. You can hear the deafening roar of club music in the background when you pick up, and Minju’s yelling into the phone. Even in the quiet of your apartment, you can’t make heads or tails of what she’s trying to convey to you. Even as you holler I can’t hear you at the top of your lungs, she continues to blabber her intelligible words over the pulsing bass of that horrible song that’s playing in the background.

Then it suddenly gets quiet on the other end, and for a moment, you only hear the sound of your heartbeat crunching in your ears. When Minju speaks again, you can hear the wind blowing by in the background, your indication that she’s exited the club. Her voice rings loud and clear in your apartment.

“Eunbi’s driving to your place, she’ll explain everything,” she’s telling you. “She’ll text when she arrives, get ready to be picked up.”

The urgency in her voice drives you to acquiescence, and you throw on a hoodie and some sweatpants. Couple of minutes later, you’re seated in the front seat of your singer’s car. She’s running you down on the events that have occurred tonight, and the multiple mentions of Chaewon makes your heart sink further and further.

It was enough dealing with her in the band. That shrill frequency she could produce with that trumpet was often aptly used to deafen you whenever she could (she sat on your direct right so she could be a bitch with ease). The bowl she used to collect her saliva was often “accidentally” (the way she said that word with such bogus innocence really brought you to your boiling point sometimes) spilt on to the leg of your jeans when you walked by, her trumpet case “coincidentally” (again, bogus innocence with this one) be in the way of your shin as you tried to get to your kit. Her behaviour wasn’t the culprit behind your irritance towards her, rather the fact that her behaviour failed to reflect what she had requested for when the two of you schismed—a clean break.

“She’s thrown up twice now.” Eunbi’s tone is a mish-mash of frustration and commiseration, “She refuses to move, and she's been groped twice. We don’t mean to drag you into this, but you’re the last feasible option.”

There’s an odd feeling of nihility in your chest as the two of you come to a stop at a red light. In the band, you dealt with her on a physical level. But when Kim Chaewon and alcohol merge, you know that you’ll have to deal with her on an emotional level, and that somehow fails to engender any spite or frustration of the ilk. The silence that hangs in the car is unsettling in light of the confusing sensations you’re experiencing (and also due to the fact that usually chatty Eunbi is finding it hard to start a conversation in this atmosphere), yet you find that you’re poised.

“I’m uh… I’m actually your highschool senior,” Eunbi decides to input, “I used to go to the same school as you, Chaewon and Minju…”

You remain reticent. Eunbi takes the cue and returns her eyes to the road.

The bouncer almost didn’t let you in because of your shabby fit, but a quick wink and a, he’s with me, from Eunbi was enough to get him to let you through. You easily spot Minju amidst club-goers once you get in. Those long, luscious jet black locks that flow just past her shoulders and those large round eyes that always seem to be doleful quickly catch your attention as you wade through the sea of people together with Eunbi. She looks the same as she did all those years ago. She stands when you approach; Kim Chaewon’s slumped over the table they’re at.

“Thank god you’re here.” Her expression tells you that she’s been through quite the ordeal tonight. “I… I hope you understand that—”

She stops mid sentence when you hold up a hand. You understand that such a gesture is impertinent of you, but you can’t help it—there’s too much to process, too much to take in, and a club isn’t the best place to assimilate it all (or to find a lover, an ex lover in this case). Minju steps aside, and you take a moment to look at the sorry sight of your ex—face down on the table of the booth seat and an empty shot glass in hand.

“What do you want me to do?” you ask them. The two girls look at each other, then Minju tells you to do whatever it takes to get her out of here.

So there you are—contemplating on whether you should dump a bucket of ice on her or gently wake her up. Basic human decency gets the better of you, and you slide onto the couch next to Chaewon, gently tap the bare shoulder that’s exposed in her outfit. When she raises her head off the sticky, glossy table, you’re momentarily reminded of the countless times you’d woken her up in the same way when she fell asleep in the school library.

Then those eyes—half-lidded and swimming in tears—lock onto yours. The volume of her voice pales in comparison to the blaring House remix of the Barbie theme, yet when she calls your name, it’s the only thing you can hear. She shifts closer—close enough to rest her head on your shoulder, close enough for you to smell the vodka on her breath as she silently sobs against you; Don’t go, don’t leave, she slots in between those heart wrenching cries. Right now: emotions are running high, alcohol is coursing through her system, memories are resurfacing, and tears are definitely streaming down their cheeks.

Eunbi and Minju look on in silence. Eunbi’s lips are pursed, Minju’s eyes are somehow more doleful. Their looks are doing nothing to assuage the turmoil that you’re feeling. You find yourself saying things that you were never prepared to say.

“She can stay at my place for the night… I doubt she’d want to go anywhere else.”

They look apprehensive, but deep down—they know you’re right.

***

“Uh… Are you sure you want to present this?”

Chaewon looks up from her presentation script to give a simple, “Hm?”. You were scratching your head as you read over the vivid description of Kurt Cobain's death that she’d included. It detailed the nature of his death, the brutal imagery of small, tiny shotgun pellets blowing a hole through the skull of Nirvana’s frontman on the night of his suicide described in an unnaturally calm tone, as if people shooting themselves through the head with a shotgun was an everday occurance.

“I mean…” You were doing your best to not sound reprehensive, “I don’t think Miss Kim would appreciate the… Visceral imagery.”

Her look was one of innocence as she asked, why not, and proceeded to further justify her vivid depiction (her argument was that Lee Chaeyeon had presented on Aviccii’s death in equal vividness and your teacher enjoyed it). The theme of the presentations for the week was “the talented die young”, and she’d decided to talk about one of her favourite bands at the time. She was blasting their hit song Smells Like Teen Spirit through the speaker in her room, and you were finding it hard to focus over all that grunge (you didn’t tell her of course, cause that would’ve made her pouty for the rest of the day).

That was one of your fondest memories from dating her. It showed you her tenacity and her stubbornness in insisting that she was correct. It showed you just how determined and strong-willed she could be. You found that you could still recall every detail of that moment as vividly as she described Cobain's death while you watched her walk around your kitchen from the doorway to your room. Her hair is in disarray, the set of clothes that you’d passed her baggy on her slender frame. For the record: She knows how she got here, she knows where she is, she knows you’re awake, and she knows that you’re watching her. In spite of all this, her movements are calm, her hand taking its time to trail across your cabinets as her eyes slowly soak in her surroundings.

“You know, for someone that said that they wanted a clean break—you’re making things messier than they should be,” you can’t help but tell her. Her hand stops on the handle of your cabinet, her index finger affixing itself there for a minute as she lowers her head. With a sigh, you stuff your hands into your pockets and tell her, “Get out once your hangover wears off.”

You retreat back into your room to get some work done. When you emerge around lunchtime, you find that she’s taken liberties in your kitchen, a piping hot bowl of noodles sitting opposite her at your dining table as she silently slurps on a bowl of her own. You stand there for a moment, then you accost the eating space and stop just before her.

“Are you being for real?” You can’t help but let the revulsion seep into your words, “You’re telling me that your hangover has lasted this long?”

She’s unwontedly silent. Her pugnacious, bratty nature seems to have dissipated into thin air, replaced by one of taciturn and timidness as she stares blankly into her noodles. She doesn’t look up when you sigh and slide into the other seat, nor does she say anything when you start digging into the noodles that she’s prepared for you (you aren’t one to pass up on a free meal, even if it’s prepared by your ex).

It’s when you're halfway through your bowl that she finally pipes up, “thank you for taking me in.”

You go still for a moment.

Then you choose not to reply to her.

After washing up, you communicate to her that she has till sundown to leave your abode before you head back to your room. You know that she’s going to stay like that stubborn patch of mould beneath the snare drum in the recording studio when you hear her playing Smells Like Teen Spirit on her phone through the door. Once again, that damn song is reminding you of how tenacious and stubborn she can be. Those two traits of hers were really double edged swords for that woman.

Night comes; she still hasn’t left. When you exit your room, you find that she’s asleep on the floor. It seems that she’s found it congenial to sleep on the carpeted surface, even though the futon that you provided her last night is literally an arms length away from her sleeping body. Seeing her that way, you’re momentarily reminded of the times she’d stay over at your place while you were dating, and she’d choose to nap on the floor while you worked—even though the bed was empty. The reasons as to why she chose to do so are still unknown to this day—one of the many unsolved mysteries in your relationship, second only to why she’s being the way she is despite what the two of you have previously agreed on.

To be absolutely clear: the two of you know why you broke up. It wasn’t a case of a one-sided sudden change of heart; there was a reason behind it that you both understood (even though you did need a lot of time to come to terms with it). Yes, it was painful. Yes, it was unexpected. Yes, you did miss her for quite some time. But there wasn’t much you could do about it. She’d set her mind on the breakup, and her stubbornness and tenacity had her on wits end when you tried to talk to her.

Was there a possibility the two of you could’ve stayed together? Your answer—yes. Her’s—only God knows what goes through that confusing brain.

Once more, basic human decency drives you to do things you don’t want to, and you end up cooking a share of fried rice for her. You lay her bowl next to her on the floor along with a spoon before seating yourself at the dining table to eat. You’re about halfway through a video essay about some game you’ll never play when she stirs from her slumber.

She spots the bowl, then her gaze wanders to you. Silently, she picks it up and rises to her feet. Now it’s her turn to accost the eating space, except she isn’t belligerent, nor can you sense any hostile intentions.

“Can I sit?” She’s oddly genteel as she points at the chair opposite you. You’ll just end up sitting even if I say no, is your reply. She allows a soft, short chuckle before she slides in. You think about turning off the video essay, but then you decide to not let basic human decency get the better of you this once.

So with some random guy’s voice filling the air, you and Chaewon partake in your meals in silence. You try not to look at her, but you can’t help but throw a few glances her way as she eats. She decided to grow out her hair over the past few weeks, dye it auburn, and now it drapes elegantly past her shoulders like silky curtains. You can’t read her expression (though you never could to begin with), and you certainly can’t understand why she’s become so quiet. She’s trying to make you lower your guard, soften you up then launch some manipulation tactic is what you’re considering. You won’t put it past her to use a facade of milquetoast nature to try and break past your boundaries.

“I’ll be out by tomorrow morning,” she suddenly tells you. That was the first time you tore your gaze away from your phone for more than five seconds. How would one normally reply to such a statement? Oh, okay, seems to be one of the better options, yet you choose to go with, “Good, cause I’m not planning to overstay your welcome.”

Chaewon plucks a rice grain off her top lip. “But you’d let Eunbi or Ryujin stay, right?”

There you were, hoping that she’d be as timid and quiet as she’d been for the rest of the day. The nap must have gotten rid of the rest of the hangover, cause you can hear the haughtiness in her voice.

“Are we really going to have this conversation?” you ask her. The firm look she fixes you with tells you, I’m gonna run my mouth on you whether you like it or not.

“And here I was thinking you’re being a decent human for once,” you can’t help but mutter. “You’re fucking confusing you know that?”

She bristles in her seat. “You watch your fucking mouth player.”

You’re not one to take offence from such comments. Normally, you’d understand that in the heat of the moment, people can say hurtful things that they don’t mean. It’s natural, completely natural—the adrenaline, the emotions, the tension… All of it can melt together in the form of nasty words that spew forth from a person’s mouth.

But when it comes from Kim Chaewon’s mouth however… You can’t seem to find that sympathy in you. She knows that you’ve slept with your singer and bassist, she knows that they’ve had you more than once—it’s right for her to feel this type of anger (even though the two of you aren’t even together anymore), yet there’s no part of you—not even a single atom—that wants to take the time to try to understand where she’s coming from and why she feels this way.

“Player?” You don’t mean to sound as pissed as you do. “Player?” you echo again, just for good measure, “What gives you the right to call me that? I’m not the one who couldn’t wait for their partner!”

“It was two years!” Chaewon cries.

“Well you could’ve at least tried.” You’re not even bothering to filter your words now. “You’re a hypocrite for calling me a player when you couldn’t even wait for me.”

“Two fucking years! Do you really expect me to close my heart to love for two whole years just so I can wait for you to get out of the damn military!” The way her tone conveys how right she thinks she is pisses you off, “I’m a human! I need love! Do you really expect me to wait for it for that long?”

She’s on her feet now, hands on your table, breaths heavy.

She screams, “It’s your fault for signing on so early! It’s your fault for ever thinking that I’d wait!”

You shoot up from your seat and cry, “Well then damn me for ever trying to believe in you!”

Her face contorts into a snarl. She skirts the table, accosts you with her arm whizzing through the air; she slaps you across the face. As the sting lingers on your cheek, you find your fingers curling into fists.

“You’re horrible!” She’s hollering at the top of her lungs, “I wish that I never met you!”

For a moment, there’s only the sound of her heavy breathing. Then those eyes—bulging in their sockets and swimming in tears—lock onto yours. She looks just as she did the night the two of you broke up: hair slightly messy, face twisted in a mix of woe and fury, right up in your face as her face starts to flush under the intense assault of emotions and thoughts. She’s close—close enough to grip you by your collar and pull you towards her, crush her lips against yours, kiss you like she did when you were teens.

And she does just that.

A soft cry slips past her lips, travels into your mouth as she kisses you; It feels exactly the same as it did all those years ago—the meraki, the slight tension in her upper lip, the light quiver in your bottom lip—a familiar comfort you had no idea you missed. Her small waist is captured in your grasp, your face in her hands as she pulls you deeper, kisses you harder. It was like she never left, like she never walked away from you because you had decided to enlist in compulsory military service early so that you could get it over and done with, like she never said, seeing you on the weekends isn't enough for me, I’m sorry. This won’t work out the way you think it will. Let’s just end things off here, nice and clean.

And get this: the whole moment is sweet and all, but deep down, there’s still a small flame of anger alit within you. Even though you kissed her back with equal vigour, you were silently cursing her for making things messier than it had to be; while your hands run through her hair, you find yourself berating her in your head for making you vacillate between missing her and hating her. You aren’t one to be flippant, but Chaewon had the tendency to bring out sides of you that you’ve never seen for yourself.

Her tongue dives into your mouth, her hand pressed flat against your chest. She’s tugging at the fabric of your shirt, and you’re not sure if she’s trying to pull you closer or signalling for you to take it off. You realise it’s the latter when she guides you hand beneath the fabric of the shirt you gave her, your fingertips grazing the soft skin beneath it. Your palm rests on the flesh of her waist. Her skin was warm to the touch.

Your mouths part, and you’re quick to ask, What the hell are we doing. She takes a second to catch her breath, then she replies, “I have no clue, but I’m not stopping whatever’s coming next.”

Going with the flow—that was so her.

You grasp onto the hem of her shirt and gently pull upwards. She’s quick to respond, raising her hands above her head for ease of removal. Then her hands are on your waist band, tugging down at your shorts while your hands skim across her bare skin. She pulls your underwear down together with your shorts, lets them fall and pool around your ankles; her hand is quick to grasp onto your throbbing shaft.

“Chae.” You can’t help but whisper your pet name for her. She starts placing kisses on your clothed chest, her other hand resting on your shoulder while the hand on your cock begins to stroke it with consideration. She leans in and whispers, “Can we pretend like we never left each other? Just for tonight?”

A foolhardy request. She doesn’t know what she’s doing by asking this of you, nor does she care to consider the possibility that the fulfilment of this request can and will invoke unwelcome emotions in both of you. Of course, there’s a chance to turn away from all of this—a chance to stop her hand as it reaches the base of your shaft, a chance to halt her in the midst of tiptoeing to place a peck on your neck; there’s a clear opportunity for you to end what’s happening right here and now—it’s all a matter of how willing you are to go through with this. While your brain screams at you to stop, your body says otherwise; you lift a hand to cup her cheek.

As you tell her, “Just for tonight,” a wisp of a smile appears on her face, and you wonder, What am I doing.

Her hand on your dick leaves to join and assist the other in undoing her bra. She lets the intimate garment fall to the floor before her, her bare breasts on full display. She’s certainly grown more voluptuous as compared to her eighteen-year-old self, and with that change you find an increase in desire for this woman before you. Chaewon cups her tits with her hands, lifts them up, then lets go; she’s putting on a sordid show.

“Christ.” Christians certainly wouldn’t approve your usage of the name of their saviour in this abhorrent, impure context. “You’ve… Grown.”

“Puberty works wonders, no?” She’s taken on a playful tone, one that she was always fond of using while the two of you were dating. “Feel them. I know you want to.”

No sane man would ever turn down such an invitation. You can feel her erect peaks poking against your palms as your fingers close around the mounds; your breath hitches when you realise how firm they’ve become. Her hands join yours on her breasts, aiding you and squeezing and kneading while she lets a sigh leave her lips. Then in a whisper, she tells you how much she’s missed this feeling—your hands caressing her just the way she likes, your breath in her ears as you silently play with her like you used to.

Then she asks you, “Do you ever think about me when you fuck those other girls?”

You consider your words carefully. If you’re to be perfectly honest, there were a few times where the sight of Ryujin’s rippling ass cheeks made you think about her; sometimes the way Eunbi moaned reminded you of her.

But if you’re supposed to pretend like you never left her, some teasing would have to come into play.

“Depends.” You’re not even trying to hide how smug you are, “In what way are we talking?”

She gives you a look, one that says, you cheeky little fucker, but she plays along of course, offering a soft, Hm, as she pretends to go pensive.

Let’s see—she speaks as she (much to your chagrin) practically rips your hands off her body, all so that she can start circling you—Do their moans sound as cute as mine? Are their bodies as tight as mine?

She leans in to pop the final question: Do their pussies feel as good as mine?

For the record: No to the first one, a fifty-fifty between yes and no on the second one (they all had amazing bodies). As for the last question, you couldn’t say (not because you didn’t have an answer, but more because ranking them in terms of how good they feel would be doing all of them an injustice).

Dunno, is the answer you offer her, then you follow up with, “Why don’t we find out?”

She smirks and rolls her eyes. “Segueing—impressive.”

“I’m a laconic man,” you tell her, and, Oh shut the hell up, is her reply as she takes you by the hand and drags you to your room.

It’s crazy to think that just mere minutes ago, she was on her feet, yelling at you and telling you how odious she finds you; now, she’s on her back, her head propped up against a pillow, still yelling, but she’s telling how good you’re making her feel—Fuck, and, Oh shit is all that’s really leaving her mouth, but the message is implicit—as your tongue applies painfully slow strokes to her soaking pink folds. The hand that slapped you is now scrunching up in your hair, the palm that made your cheek sting pushing your head against her crotch while her toes curl into your mattress. You’re wondering if she’s intentionally pitching up her voice as she moans, or if she’s purposely dragging out her sighs, but it doesn’t take away from the utter sublimity of the act.

Chaewon’s slick is sweet; it’s tangier than Eunbi’s and tickles your taste buds better than Ryujin’s—you won’t tell her this of course, but it’s not like you’ll have time to communicate all of this while your head being shoved into her pussy. Believe it or not—this is one of the calmer moments of pussy-eating that you’ve experienced, one of the rare occasions where you actually have time to savour the taste of your partner, assimilate the intimacy of it, a far cry from when you were with Eunbi or Ryujin, where the goal was always to make them cum as fast as possible because that’s what they’re craving for. But believe it or not—even though her needy actions make it seem as if she’s desperately chasing her high, Chaewon’s really just trying to make the most of each and every swipe of your tongue, enjoying the way it skirts her clit and laps up her juices that leak out from her pretty, pink folds; all while she’s squeezing her thighs around your ears and begging you, Oh god, put your fingers in me.

You start with your index finger, using the pad of it to trace the outline of her pussy. Then—just to make sure that she knows that it’s going in too—you let your middle finger join the fray. Your digits graze the skin around her flushed lips, taking their time to cover ground while Chaewon’s reduced to a moaning, mewling mess. What you’re really trying to do here is test the limits of her patience, see how much teasing that small, tight body can really take before her will breaks. It’s a sadistic game you’re playing, but you know that she’s enjoying it as much as you are, even though she is practically screaming at you to stick your digits inside her already.

If there’s anything that this world has taught you, it’s that patience is often rewarding. In this case: Chaewon’s patience was rewarded with the fulfilment of her request. The moan that leaves her half-parted lips is one of satisfaction as you dig your digits into her waiting depths, and they soak in her juices for a minute or two before they start to explore. Her nails dig into your scalp when your fingers dig into the soft flesh on the roof of her pussy. Your name flies out from her lips in a tone of surprise, like she’s taken aback by the fact you remember the exact spot inside her that makes her tick. The smugness on your face says it all, really, and you start to stimulate that spot of sensitive flesh.

“Oh… Oh my… Oh…” She’s barely able to form the simplest of words. The pleasure you’re providing is racing through her body, filling her from head to toe with perverse need and taking over her bodily functions. You’re not doing anything fancy down there; your fingers are just wiggling against the same spot—a simple action that makes her body react in all sorts of complicated ways: twisting, trembling, twitching… It’s working wonders really. You’re amazed that she’s still as sensitive as ever.

“Look at you Chae,” you can’t help but deride. “You’re getting so fucking turned by fingers. I don’t remember you being this needy.”

Even if she’s hellbent on retorting, there’s no space for words to leave her mouth—the moans are filling the space in her throat, bottlenecking and filtering out of her mouth in the form of strained cries. From the limited view between her thighs, you make out the image of her biting down on the nail of her index finger. Meanwhile, the nails in your head dig deeper into your scalp, hardly caring for the fact that they may be drawing blood as their owner manages to beg, Keep going.

Your mouth—now rested enough to continue—rejoins the busy scene; the drawn-out guttural gasp that slides out of her mouth tells you all you need to know—Oh my god. You’re driving me crazy—and you can’t help but smile at the sight of her pleasure stricken face. Chaewon’s barely keeping it together at this point, the dignity that tightly wraps her body is slowly loosening—unravelling at the mercy of your mouth and fingers. The haughtiness, the sheer brattiness—crumbling under the sensations that overwhelm every fibre of her body; now that these perverse thoughts have entered your mind, you find that a dark part of you longs to own her, right here, right now. But of course, patience is rewarding.

You’re willing to wait.

To say that you’re taking your time to eat her out would be inaccurate. If you’re to be honest, it’s difficult to describe the pace you’re using. Inside of her, your index and middle finger move frenetically, as if you are using them to press the same key on a piano repeatedly to produce the same note—her moans. Outside her, your tongue’s movements are almost sluggish, the broad base of it dragging up her flushed lips before the tip flicks the swollen nub at the top. You’re fully invested, scrupulously ensuring the uniformity of your movements to drive Chaewon to perdition. The movements are neither simple nor complex, rather a middle ground between the two (but you do feel that it leans more towards the former), but it’s enough to drive her crazy. Even if she’s a complicated mess to deal with, deep down—she still enjoys some form of simplicity.

“Baby.” The way Chaewon’s calling you sends a shiver down your spine, stirring the emotions in your chest and letting some nostalgia bubble up from the depths of it, “I-I’m… I’m…”

Cumming, you complete just as her head violently whips back into the pillow. Then, in arguably the hottest ways possible, Kim Chaewon orgasms. Her thighs clamp around your head, becoming earmuffs as an onslaught of juices assail your mouth. You can hear her mewling past the flesh that surrounds your ears, and the muffled sound is enough to deluge your heart with depraved satisfaction while her body twitches, convulses and strains violently. The last vestiges of dignity that once enveloped her have fallen away, carried off by the sighs and cries escaping from her trembling lips, and as you lift your mouth of her soaking slit and withdraw your juice-slicked fingers, you know that she’s reached a point of no return.

Patience is truly so rewarding.

“Jesus…” she pants. Once again, believers probably wouldn’t approve of the usage of his name in this context, but something has to cleanse the filth from her body, “When did you get so good at this?”

“Always have been,” you grin. You can tell she wants to roll her eyes, but she hardly has the strength to do so. For a tender moment, you gaze into each other’s eyes and appreciate this moment of inexplicable intimacy, re-living the emotions that were once so present between the two of you. It’s just for tonight. After this, we’ll go back to fighting, you’re telling yourself, and it makes you want to stay like this for a little longer.

But when Chaewon flips herself over onto her belly, the warmth in your chest is shut out and replaced by warped desire. With the tender cheeks of her ass on full display, Chaewon wiggles her behind, inviting you to take your liberties with her body. You take a moment to admire how full they’ve become.

“Been working on it?” you ask her as you squeeze a handful of flesh.

“To the best of my ability,” is her reply, followed by, “you like it?”

Your reply is to deliver a soft spank to the right ass-cheek. She barely even yelps upon contact, a small grin on her face as she watches you spread the flesh apart to reveal her entrances. Then she urges you, “Come on now… Pick a hole, fuck it till you fill it with your cum.”

“What if I want both?” You can’t help but be a little cheeky. Chaewon’s bottom lip furls behind her front teeth.

“I’m not stopping you,” she whispers, “just promise me to cum in me.”

Not a trace of dignity in her words.

Alright, is what you tell her before your head slips inside of her pussy. You can pinpoint the exact moment where her body almost becomes the only thing to exist in your mind—it’s when those walls clamp down around your shaft, pulsing ever so slightly and still twitching from her orgasm, and it’s enough to make you clench all your muscles while you hilt yourself in her. The sigh you let out hardly synchronises with Chaewon’s gasp. Yet, you find that your thoughts are perfectly in sync as your hands grip onto her small waist, and she props herself up on her elbows and knees. Her hair falls off her back, cascading down her shoulders as she turns her head, catches your gaze to tell you—Own this pussy.

No more words need be said. Eagerly, you begin to pump yourself in and out of Chaewon’s slick, tight pussy, her body tightening around your cock with every thrust in and out, lathering your length with juices that glisten in the low light of your room. The sound of her sighs and gasps quickly rise in volume, a beautiful backdrop to the sounds of your wet shaft penetrating her slick pussy again and again.

You’ve already lost yourself in her from the moment you stuck your member into her, but you find your grasp on reality somehow slipping further and further with each thrust you make into that amazingly tight body. It’s the nostalgia—that feeling of being able to hold her again, the feeling of being able to fuck her like you did on those nights after you graduated high school, those nights where her parents weren’t home and she wanted you in ever way possible—that’s making you sink deeper and deeper into this new reality that is Kim Chaewon’s body.

Then her moans start once more; you give in to the carnal emotions that you’ve been doing a really bad job at suppressing, and almost at once, Chaewon becomes the only thing that matters. Her flesh suddenly feels softer than before, her moans and sighs and cries sounding closer and closer to a melody than a haphazard arrangement of notes, and when she rasps for you to fuck her harder, you’re quick to oblige.

Screw patience, you’re going to take what’s yours right here and now.

Your hands drift up from her waist, grip her shoulders and pull her till her body is almost upright. Your left hand slides down, wraps around her flat tummy; your right follows suit—you’re practically hugging her. Chaewon’s arms reach behind her, lock themselves around your neck and pull her face closer to yours. She doesn’t turn to kiss you—that’d take too much energy, energy that she would rather put into moaning—so you settle on capturing her earlobe between your lips, sucking on it softly while she starts to moan your name. Then, her confessions start.

I’ve missed this, I’ve missed you… Oh god, I fucking missed the way your cock stretched me out. So good… So fucking good… This pussy was made for your cock.

Those were just some of the many things you managed to make out. The words were hastily assembled, phonics loosely strung together, and then expelled from those beautiful pink lips in a precipitate manner. There were other things like: I love you, I fucking love you and Oh God I love you as well, but your tried not to make to much of it. Even though you’re lost in paradise, lost in her body, your subconscious is still actively fighting to keep her influence out of your head. Things are already messy—both figuratively and literally—as they are, and the last thing you need is to fall in love with memories of Chaewon while you’re fucking her in such a callous, unrelenting manner. Sex and alexithymia towards an ex is never a good combination—yet here you are, rearranging the insides of Kim Chaewon after agreeing to whatever it was you agreed to before you started (it’s not because you chose to forget, but because you truly can’t remember anything past the point where you stepped through the doorway to your bedroom).

You push away the thoughts (for now), letting them exit your body together with the growl that you release into her ear—Chaewon, why are you so fucking wet?—as your shaft continues to plunge itself between her slick, wet folds. The cheeks of her ass ripple deliciously with each strike of your crotch against hers, eliciting a raunchy exclamation from her body each time she hilts you to the base of your cock. You’re not going particularly fast—Chaewon suddenly has the capacity to reply, I’m always wet for you, baby—but you’re so utterly deep inside her that it’s driving the both of you to perverted elation. The position compromises your speed, but you know for a fact that Chaewon is more than happy to make the trade off, savouring the feel of every inch of you filling her insides at a considerate yet fervent pace.

“Baby.” Her pet name for you is really doing dangerous things to your feelings, “Harder. Let me feel all of you, just like last time.”

She turns her head to meet your gaze, and it’s only then that you see the tears streaming down her cheeks. Your best guess: just like how nostalgia has its effect on you, it's impacting her too. Her emotions are being dallied with, just as yours are. She’s feeling things that she can’t describe, and she doesn’t know if it’s the rock-hard meat drilling in and out of her that’s making her feel this way, or if it's the fact that she may very well be falling for you again. You may never fully comprehend the intricate workings of human emotions, but as you lean in and gently draw her lips to yours, you hope to help her make sense of her feelings.

Why does she always make things messier than they have to be, your asking yourself, all while her hand finds your left cheek, gripping it tightly as your lips part and she whispers, “Fucking own me. Make this pussy yours, just like you used to.”

Just like last time, just like you used to—two statements that unwittingly conveyed that she’s dabbling in the past in a foolhardy manner. Damn it Chae… Why are you doing this? You’re thinking, even as you’re riotously making her bouncing breasts you handlebars, pinching her stiff peaks with between the gap of your middle and forefinger as you double down on her. You’re wondering, Why do you have to make this so damn complicated, as she leans back into you, and you mark the skin of her neck with your lips. Why couldn’t you just wait for me? Things wouldn’t have to be this way if you just had some damn patience, you’re pondering, all while she starts to throw herself back onto your cock. It’s hard to tell if she truly understands the emotional state she’s put herself in, you tell yourself. The irony of this statement is not lost on you, and you’re inwardly chortling at yourself as you pull yourself out of your own head.

You return to reality, and you find that Chaewon’s cumming once more. Did she announce its arrival? You don’t know. All you know is that her pussy is tightening rapidly around you, her body is shivering and shuddering against you, and her knees start giving out on her. You steady her against your chest, slowing yourself to a halt as you realise how dangerously close to the edge you are.

When she taps you on the knee, you take it as a sign to gently lay her back down on the bed. With her belly flat against the mattress, Kim Chaewon reaches behind her and spreads her asscheeks with her fingers. She gives you the slightest of nods; you pull out of her freshly fucked pussy, point the head of your cock at the opening of her ass, and begin to press forward.

Chaewon gasps as your head presses against her tight opening, her body refusing to let you in at first—but you press forward with your hips, slowly parting her entrance. Chaewon squirms and quivers as her opening slowly parts, and soon you are finally inside her. Her hands tighten into fists, scrunching up your bed sheets; a grimace of pain overtakes her partially turned head as you penetrate her ass for the first time. She lets a long hiss escape her lips, and you lean down to kiss the back of her head in an attempt to comfort her, bringing your left hand to match hers on the bed, covering her small hand with your own.

Soon you are halfway inside her ass, and you go no further, letting her get used to the new penetration. When you stop moving, Chaewon lets out a long breath that she didn’t know she was holding.

“You okay?” You’re checking on her out of genuine concern. It’s basic human decency, you’re trying to tell yourself, but you have a sinking feeling that she’s unknowingly broken past your defences.

“Fuck,” she spits, “fuck you’re so big inside me.”

“Do you want to—”

“Fuck no,” she snaps, “fuck, please don’t stop. I want this. I want you. I want you in my ass.”

The soft sigh you let out makes the hair atop her head flail a little as she wipes the tears from her cheeks. She isn’t crying anymore, but she certainly seems a little embarrassed that she let her emotions get the better of her.

“Keep going.” She can’t seem to raise her head as she speaks, “Fill me, please…”

Basic human decency drives you to compliance, and so you press forward—all the while, your eyes are affixed to the back of her head, your left hand still grasping hers while she shifts around slightly, adjusting herself to take you in better. The small yelps she occasionally lets slip tells you that she’s in discomfort, but not enough to make you stop entering her asshole. It’s too late to turn back now anyway.

It felt like years, but soon you're fully inside her, buried to the hilt inside Chaewon’s ass.

You slowly draw your shaft outside of Chaewon’s tightly gripping ass for the first time, and once it is halfway out, you slowly push back inside her. She's a quivering and squirming mess, and soon you are slowly pumping in and out of her body, your pace relaxed as you enjoy the tight, hot flesh of Chaewon’s body wrapped around your cock. You’re glad that the sheer sublimity of the sensation is removing your ability to think, allowing you to steep yourself in the moment with a turmoil free mind.

Chaewon’s tightness is overwhelming to say the least. Her pussy was tight, but her ass on another level altogether. Not as wet, of course, but almost overwhelmingly tight and hot, grasping you tightly with each entrance and exit like a glove. This would be the first time you’re entering her like this, and you aren’t sure if you’re doing it right, but soon she’s taking you in and out of her ass smoothly, the pain and discomfort of your initial penetration quickly lessening and giving way to the novel, new sensation of pleasure from having her ass filled.

Chaewon lets a short, sharp gasp escape her lips when you fill her to the hilt—one that takes her by surprise given the slight look of shock that you make out on her features. You reach down with your right hand, gingerly grip her chin and tilt her face up so you can get a better look at her face. Her eyes are glazed over now with pleasure, locking to yours as you start pumping in and out of her asshole. After a while her gasps lessen and then end completely as she becomes used to the hard length pumping in and out of her butt. She reaches up with her right hand to hold yours, and she pulls it down her chin until it’s at her throat. You didn’t know she was into choking, and she had never made you do it before. Then again, you’ve never had her ass before either—there’s a first for everything.

You feel her warm neck pulsing beneath your palm. She squeezes the outside of your hand slightly, causing you to clamp a little bit around her slim neck. The slightly reduced airflow at her throat causes her ass to clench even tighter around you: succulent pleasure to your mind that makes you think you are going insane. The novelty of fucking Chaewon’s ass, your hand around her throat, the carnality, the surprising tenderness of the moment–it’s all so damn overwhelming.

“C-Chae,” you call out to her. Her gaze flickers from the wall to your eyes, and you whisper, “Do you… Do you really want me to—”

“Just fucking do it!” Chaewon gasps, barely attempting to filter the want out of her voice, “Choke me! Cum in me!”

With her permission, you were more than willing to let yourself fall over the edge at this point.

Chaewon’s hand—the one that stops your hand at her throat—tightens, as though willing you to increase your grip on her windpipe. You are still afraid of hurting her—you already feel guilty for causing her pain and discomfort (physically and emotionally). But her hand on top of yours, clasped around her throat, dismissed any worry you may have had about taking things too far. Your orgasm beckons, and the hand around Chaewon’s pale throat tightens involuntarily with each thrust in her hot, tight hole.

Do it… own me—her voice is straining—Make yours again. Choke me while you fuck my ass… Use me! Fill me… Fill my ass with your cum!

With a few final, short, hard thrusts into Chaewon’s ass, you bury yourself as deep inside her as you can before finally letting go. Thick, hot cum spurts from your shaft into Chaewon’s willing depths, her hot, tight ass squeezing and pulsing around your cock as if milking every last drop from you. As you cum, your hand around her throat involuntarily tightens, and the moan that escapes Chaewon’s throat turns into a gasp—the dark part of you takes obscene pleasure in that fact.

Both of your bodies quiver and shake as the intense pleasure of your orgasm overwhelms your senses. It seems to last forever—longer than any other orgasm you’ve had. Nothing else exists for those long seconds, aside from Chaewon’s shaking body beneath you and the hot mess you’ve made inside her.

Your cock pulses a few final times as your orgasm slowly subsides and releases the last spurts of cum into Chaewon’s body and you regretfully come down from your high. After a few more seconds of treasuring the feel of the hot, creamy mess you’ve left inside her, you slowly draw your half-soft cock out of her body. Within seconds, white, pearly semen begins to leak out of her and onto the reddened, sore cheeks of her ass. Your eyes remain glued to Chaewon’s still-quivering form as she tries and mostly fails to collect herself. Slowly, she turns on her side, her whole body heaving like she’s completed a marathon. Her inner thighs glisten, your juices and hers flow down her naked skin. It's now that you remember what you agreed to before you started: Just for tonight…

“Hey…” Her voice has a lilt as she beckons you to her side. “Cuddle with me… Just for tonight.”

There she goes again.

Yeah, right... you sigh inwardly. The way she's looking at you tells you that the feelings brought forth tonight will persist as long as she permits. Maybe, just maybe, you should have turned her down, made her come as she was, and kept her at a distance; but she’s already snuggled up in your arms by the time you finish this train of thought. She kisses you on your jaw, then on your neck, then utters a soft good night baby before nuzzling herself into the crook of your neck.

Physically and emotionally, you've made a mess of her. And, in turn, she's made a mess of you too—physically and emotionally.

But you choose to forget that, just for tonight.

***

She slips out of your apartment at God knows what time, leaving like a thief in the night and leaving a note in her wake: I took one of your shirts. Will return it if I feel like it.

Then below the message: P.S. Forget that last night happened. Go continue being a player.

“I… Can’t believe this bitch.” You’re leaning against the door—the place where she’d stuck on the note—as you finish reading it. You decide to crumple it and toss it away—it’s the easiest thing to forget about her anyway.

To be clear: You had no clue what your opinion on Chaewon was anymore, nor did you know what your status with her was (though the note suggests that she’s going to return to her usual bratty behaviour). Sometimes, you wish that there could be a bright digital sign perpetually hanging above her head, providing interpretations to her erratic behaviour.

Yea… That would be great.

Just as you throw out her bowl of fried rice, there comes a knock on your door. You’re surprised to find Hwang Yeji standing there by herself.

“O-Oh… Yeji,” you mutter.

“That has to be the most asinine statement I’ve ever heard,” she derides. You purse your lips and scratch the back of your head, then you ask, “Do you uh… Need to borrow something?”

Yeji sighs and shakes her head. She’s quick to get to the point, “Are you free this afternoon?”

You nod, then she tells you, “I need you to follow me somewhere today. Meet me in the lobby at 3pm.”

She’s about to leave you with that vague request, but you’re quick to ask what this is about. It’s unwonted of her to suddenly request to meet you, and you’re painfully aware (or at least you thought you were) that she knows that this is unprecedented of her. Laconic and biting as ever, she turns back to you and tells you: I need you to help me talk to someone.

“W-Who?” You’re quick to ask. She turns her back to you as she answers.

“My junior. She wants to be our saxophonist.”

_________________________

What is popping gang. I did not get a chance to look through this thoroughly, nor was I able to get anyone to beta read for me :p. Hope you didn't have your bars raised to high for this.

~Nichuuu

#kim chaewon #chaewon smut #lesserafim smut #le sserafim #chaewon le sserafim #kpop #fanfic #writing #smut

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mechaknight-98 · 20 days

Text

Unforgiven at Lotus Junction (NSFW) Ft Chaewon

Author's Note: Cowgirl Chaewon…cowgirl Chaewon

A young man awakens with his left eye bandaged among other dressings. Fragments and flashes of memory course through his mind as he tries to orient himself, sitting up abruptly. The attending doctor notices him squirming and rushes back in.

“Sit down, don't squirm too much, or those stitches won't heal properly,” the doctor responds, and the young man complies as she finishes her work. He looks at her; she is a young woman with flawless skin and a focused demeanor. She returns his gaze with a bright smile, proud of her handiwork.

“There you go, all patched up,” she says as she tidies her tools. Turning back to him, she eyes him warily as he rises again, patting himself as if searching for something. In the young man’s mind, echoes of the ether call to him: “War, victory, win, murder, kill,” repeating in a haunting whisper. The doctor observes the young man, noting the asymmetric runes glowing on his arms. She has encountered magic before, but nothing as raw and untamed as this. It unsettles her.

“What are you looking for?” she asks suspiciously, calmly reaching for her nearby rifle.

“My tools and weapons,” the young man replies, trying to focus amidst the pain and the inexorable surge of fury flooding his thoughts. The doctor watches as he takes a few steps before collapsing once more.

“Oh, no!” she exclaims. The young man rises slowly before she can assist him.

“Easy there, partner. I don't think you're ready for that much physical activity,” the doctor cautions. He breathes heavily, attempting to steady himself and suppress the pain, but it proves challenging. The doctor meets his gaze, awestruck as his body begins to miraculously mend itself.

“How?” she asks as his brown eyes shift to a deep, eldritch green.

“Long story,” he replies.

The doctor narrows her eyes in annoyance. “Well, excuse me. Do you have somewhere to be?” she quips. He looks around and then sighs before answering, “No.”

“Good. Then tell me your story because all I know is that a tornado threw you to me,” she teases. He chuckles as his eyes revert to their brown hue.

“Okay,” he agrees, getting up. He staggers, and the doctor steadies him.

“Ugh, you're so heavy,” she jokes.

He looks down at her, and for the first time, the ether’s calling changes:

“Protect, Preserve, Endure, Revel,” chanted at intervals until his mind fell silent."Wait, tell me your name!" the doctor replied.

"What?" the young man scoffed, and the doctor rolled her eyes.

The doctor huffed. "Your name, what is it? I need to refer to you as something."

The young man looked at the doctor, confused. "I don't have one."

"So, what do people call you when they refer to you?" the doctor asked.

"They don't," the young man replied, his voice dipped in venomous rage.

The doctor sensed the sorrow and anger emanating from the young man, then smiled before saying, “Well then, I'll give you a name. From now on, I'll call you… Roland the Rebel."

The young man tried to hide his smile but couldn't. He finally had something that was his, something personal. "Roland the Rebel. I like it. I am keeping this," Roland said.

The doctor smiled. "Chaewon, nice to meet you, Roland," she said as she shook Roland’s hand.

Roland smiled and replied, “Nice to meet you, Chaewon.”

4 years later

The rebel walked into the home he shared with the doctor. He shook off the dust after riding back home from a long and arduous day working as a ranch hand for the nearby rancher. The Rebel was excited to

“Hey Puppy I'm home.” the rebel said as he opened the door to their shared abode. He took his bandana off and took two steps in. When he realized she wasn't in. he moved around their shared home and then decided to check the

He walked into seeing The doctor caring for a young boy who was recently feeling under the weather. He had a simple cold which meant she would have to give him one of her remedies. The doctor heard the door open and turned to see her “roommate” waving at her. She turned and smiled

“Hey Roly how was the ranch?” she asked curious

“Oh, you know same old same old. Mrs. Ware is still flirting with me but she knows I only have one love.” the rebel replies. The Doctor laughs as she finishes up with the boy named Thomas’ medicine. She hands it to Thomas who nods then goes over to the Rebel.

“Um excuse me, Mr Roland Sir can you take me home?” Thomas asks innocently.

The rebel turns to The doctor who nods and responds, “Yes! Please do! His mom made us pies and buns for us.” the doctor said excitedly. The rebel smiles in agreement Mrs. Hernandez (Thomas's mother) adores baking almost as much as she loves her husband (father Gabriel the priest of the town) and so she is sinfully good at it. So any chance to snag some of them is a chance well spent. So Roland puts on his gloves and his bandanna and gestures for Thomas to follow him.

As he walks out Chaewon takes off all of her Doctors gear and washes her hands. After she does so she blows Roland a kiss before saying, “Get back home safely Roly.”Roland nods as he leads young Thomas outside to his mount. When the two get on Roland’s mount Thomas asks about the weird “red things” in front of the clinic as they begin their journey.

“Oh, you don't need to worry about those. Just relics of a past time.” Roland answers

“Okay” Thomas replied and the two began their ride. For the most part, it was silent. Although Roland was well-liked in the town and considered as insensible as Chaewon due to his handiness and willingness to help anyone; the town was still wary of him. Arriving with no name out of a tornado is still arriving with no name out of a tornado. He was also spurned by the fact that he was an adrift. So all suspicions were considered admissions of guilt. However, the youngsters didn't see it that way. They just saw Roland as the friendly old guy who helped their parents and was living with the town doctor. So they were always more open to him, not by much though. Roland despite his openness tended to be reserved and very cagey with his answers especially about his past. He was a gentleman but had firm boundaries regardless.

"Hey, Mr. Roland. Are you going to marry Mrs. Chaewon?"

Roland turned to the young boy, surprised but smiling. "I'd like to. I am working hard to get her a ring. I just can't afford one right now, but I'm 9/10 of the way there," Roland explained. Thomas nodded then chuckled.

"She likes you," Thomas said. "While she was patching me up, she was frustrated that you weren't here helping."

"Oh really?" Roland asked.

"Yeah, she said how you're always within arm's reach and can help her get exactly what she needs. She is appreciative that you’re doing more, but she says she misses you during the day," Little Thomas said. Roland smiled, and then Thomas asked the million-dollar question.

"Hey, Mr. Roland. Why is your skin purple?"

Roland looked at the child and then said, "Well, my skin contains more of the chemical Antenalin. It's the reason why your school teacher’s skin is also pink."

"Oh, that’s why Mrs. Merryweather’s looks so sparkly?" Thomas asked, and Roland nodded. Thomas smiled and then said, “I am going to tell her when I get back to school." Roland smiled at the young boy before arriving at his home. The priest Gabriel was standing outside the door. Thomas giddily ran to his dad who lifted him.

“Dad, dad guess what Mr. Roland taught me?"

"What is it, son? (He eyes Roland) it better not have been curse words," he admonished.

"No, Dad, he taught me the reason his skin is purple."

Gabriel was taken aback by his son’s candid and excited response. "Oh, okay. What did he say?"

“He said it was a chemical called Antenalin," Thomas said with a smile.

Gabriel smiled and set Thomas down before sending him in with his mom. He faced Roland and chuckled.

“You know, for a simple ranch hand, you know quite a lot,” Gabriel said to Roland.

Roland shrugged as he responded, “Well, my parents told me knowledge is power, so I took it to heart when I had ‘higher ambitions,’ but now I’m happy I’m at peace.” As he finished, he dusted himself off before following Gabriel into his home.

Gabriel noticed Roland’s gait and affectation. “You look it. I remember when Chaewon and you first arrived together. I could see your emotions as if they were etched on your skin,” Gabriel said.

Feeling relaxed, Roland laughed before revealing, “I mean, technically they are.”

Gabriel’s eyes almost popped out at hearing that. “Wait? But that would make you a...” Gabriel responded, and Roland nodded.

“I was that, but I put that behind me, and hopefully it stays there,” Roland addressed.

Gabriel, still reeling from the revelation, said, “No wonder you know so much.” Gabriel smiled and hugged Roland. A gesture that, while appreciated in sentiment, always made Roland uncomfortable. After Mrs. Hernandez walked in and said, “Hey, Roly, I got food for you and your darling Chaewon.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Hernandez.”

“Oh, always so polite. You know, to call me Izzy, Roland.” Roland apologized and graciously took the food. After that, Roland headed back to his new 'home.' When he arrived, Chaewon smiled upon seeing the food in his sack.

"Did she make the rolls?" Chaewon asked impatiently. Roland nodded and handed her one. Chaewon greedily scarfed it down and looked back at Roland with content and happy eyes. Roland smiles as he unpacks everything and has dinner with your favorite Doctor.

During the meal, Chaewon looks at Roland longingly. Roland catches glimpses of this and remembers what Thomas said. Roland looks at her and smiles graciously.

"Something the matter Chae," Roland asks hiding his knowledge.

Chaewon responds with an adorable pout, "Yeah you weren't here today. I couldn't cuddle you or use you to fetch me things,"

Roland squints hiding his intent he asks, "But Chae I thought you wanted me to help around with the bills?"

Chaewon squints back as she says, "I thought I did, but I'd much rather have my big burly nurse around."

"Okay. Well lucky for you I will be available tomorrow as Rancher Isiah is busy tomorrow," Roland Explains.

"Oh really? well, then how about we enjoy each other's company tonight," Chaewon suggests. Her implication sends a violent shiver through Roland's back. Chaewon finished her dinner and moved on to her favorite dessert Roland. Before Roland could take a breath Chaewon was already at his crotch unbuckling his pants. She smiled when his cock sprang free. Knowing all of Roland’s weak spots she blew a cold breath on his surging rod. She watched with erotic euphoria as he squirmed under.

“Come on Darling. You're this hard and I haven't even touched you yet,” Chaewon sticks her tongue out and wraps it around the tip and head of Roland’s cock. Roland groans as he spreads his legs further allowing Chaewon to explore his cock with her tongue. Precum begins to build at his tip.

Her grand finale of getting him ready for her. She wrapped her tongue around the tip before diving into his slit and lapping up his precum with an intense fervor that only separation could provide. Rolan groans as Chaewon engorged herself. He watched as she began to gag on his rod. Chaewon felt her arousal rising with each passing moment. It built making her light-headed as she stopped long enough to get oxygen to breathe before going back. She knew she had to stop herself otherwise she wouldn't be able to due to her love for Roland’s cock being down her throat. "Fuck Chae, How do you take me so well," Rolan questioned.

Chaewon knew Roland was ready for her when his eyes shifted to an intense crimson. He gets up and lifts the petite doctor to the table. She smiles knowing he is about to give her everything she's been wanting. As Roland urgently strips her Chaewon moans into his ear before nibbling on his cartilage. “Please be wild with me,” Roland nods as he pierces Chaewon. She moans uncontrollably as her pussy reflexively welcomes its favorite resident with a tight hug. He began to thrust as Chaewon enticed him to be rougher with her. She wasn't fragile after all. As Roland pumped in and out of Chaewon she brought herself up to kiss him. In between the fervent kisses she would moan.

"Ah fuck me. Fuck me harder Rebel." Hoping to satisfy her ventripotent lust for the adrift, and to his credit, Rolan would always try his hardest. As he fucked with more vigor Chaewon moaned harder as she neared her high. Roland smiled at his paramour as her moans filled their little love nest. when her eyes rolled back into her head he knew she was close.

"Cum for me Chae," Roland said and Chaewon obliged her lover. Her body tensed before her orgasm sent her spiraling into intense spasms and sensitivities. As she tried to calm herself through her high she watched helplessly as Roland kept fucking her.

"Yes, Yes, Yes Chaewon moaned as she flexed and tensed hoping to coax Roland to cum. before she could however she saw her seraph sheriff badge glow. She immediately pushed Roland off her and got serious.

"Wait Chae is everything okay," Roland asked.

Chaewon turned to her lover and nodded sweetly, "Yes I just have some business to take care of." she said. Roland nodded and said

"Well, then I am coming with you,"

#kpop fanfic #fanfic #male reader #le sserafim fanfic #lesserafim smut #le sserafim chaewon #chaewon smut

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kopilot-pop · 2 months

Text

Comfy 18+

(Yunjin x GP! Reader)

Request: oh my- that karina fic was so good. i need you to write a similar fic for clingy yunjin x soft dom reader pls… doesn’t have to be gp reader but i totally liked it in sofa

Warning(s): MDNI, GP! Reader, breeding kink, dirty talk?, daddy kink(there’s like one word for it), etc.

A/N: Hi.. it took like 300 years but here’s a new fic… love y’all (plz dont hate me)

———————————————————————

“I don’t wanna go.”

“I swear to god, if you’re late Chaewon will murder me.”

The blonde girl in your arms seems to pout even more at your words.

Yesterday was Yunjin’s break day and the two of you spent it going on a movie date, drinking at your apartment, and sleeping all cuddled up.

Making her ride you was in there somewhere but the both of you were too drunk to remember.

You woke up at 10 a.m. with Yunjin curled up in your arms... naked (except for your oversized hoodie covering her). It’s now 12 p.m. and your girlfriend is supposed to be at the practice room in an hour. But it seems like Yunjin has no intentions of leaving your apartment - hell, your bed.

“Jen.. you’re really gonna be late…”

She whines as you try to pull her off of your body and clings onto you even tighter than before.

You’ll be lying if her in your arms wasn’t turning you on. Her.. chest.. was touching your side, and you're having a very difficult time not staring at her bare legs.

"Jennn... c'mon.."

Suddenly, she jumps up from your arms and sits on top of your stomach. She looks at you with a smug grin and a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"What if... I do this?"

With a swift motion she takes off the hoodie and throws it to her side. She tilts her head at you and bites her lip.

"Do you still want me to leave?"

You let out a loud groan and turn your head back to the pillow underneath you. Yunjin pins you down by grabbing your shoulders. The moment you try to convince her for one last time, she shuts you up with a kiss.

You can feel her pussy on your stomach, and when she slowly grinds back and forth, you can feel it slowly becoming soaked.

Your hands glide up to her nipples, playing with them just so you can see Yunjin blush.

“God, you’re so fucking hot babygirl.”

The moment the petname slips out of your mouth, her confidence seems to immediately disappear. She lets out a quiet whine and stops her movement.

You - having a sudden boost in confidence at her reaction - flip her onto her back, trapping her between your arms. With a yelp, Yunjin clings into your shoulders.

With no more patience, you pull down you sweatpants along with your boxers, and let your painful boner free. It springs out to your stomach, and you can immediately feel your girlfriends fingers touch it.

“God, I still don’t know how you fit that in me.”

With a breathy shake Yunjin aligns your cock to her wet hole and wraps her leg around you to push you in.

You slowly sink into her tight pussy, and groan at the warmth surrounding you.

“Mmf… God I love you…”

Yunjin pulls you into another sloppy kiss, but she suddenly pushes you away when she feels the tip of your cock touch her womb.

“Ah-! W-wait Y/nnnn!”

You start rolling your hips back and forth - trying to be as gentle as possible - but Yunjin always had trouble adjusting to your size no matter how wet she was.

She lets out small whimpers, digging her face into your shoulders, and tightly gripping onto your arms.

“Ah- ah-! I want… I want you to…”

“Hm? What was that? Fuck- Couldn’t hear ya sweetheart.”

“I… ugh! I want you to.. hng… I wanna feel you cum inside me..”

You pause at her request, but after what she said registers into your mind, your whole body feels like it’s on fire.

“Goddammit- you asked for this.”

Yunjin hiccups at your clouded eyes, and starts to feel excitement when you manhandle her into a different position. She’s practically folded in half, with her legs hooked over your shoulders.

As you pull her in, your dick slams into her core at the same time, causing her to let out a scream.

“F..fuck! Fuck, daddy you’re so deep- angh..! inside me-!”

She lets out short breaths at the same rhythm of you pounding into her. You watch her face go from pain to absolute pleasure as her tongue lolls out and her eyes keep focus on your member ruining her pussy.

The slapping sounds echo through your room, and you can tell that the wetness is embarrassing her when she rolls her head into the sheets.

Having none of that, you grab her face and force her to look into your eyes as you start going faster.

“Ah!! Y/n, Y/n, Y/nnnn…..! Fuck, ugh!! I love youu…”

“I’m.. hah… I’m gonna cum…”

Her teary eyes make it impossible for you to hold yourself in, and as you finally bury yourself as deep as possible, Yunjin’s back arches and she lets out the loudest scream you’ve ever heard (even for her).

You feel her legs lock you inside as you let spurts of cum fill her up. Her spasming walls cause your cock to twitch inside of her - making her let out tiny whimpers.

The two of you let out deep breaths as Yunjin’s arms pull your torso closer for comfort.

“Mmf.. I’m cold…”

“Yeah, well - you’re the on that decided to throw your hoodie across the room.” You let out a breathy laugh.

“It’s technically yours so… can you go get it?”

You give her a playful glare, but the moment you see her smile - as always - you lose.

———————————————————————

a/n: its so weird writing after so long

#le sserafim x reader #huh yunjin x reader #yunjin x reader #lesserafim imagines #lesserafim x reader #kpop fanfic #smut #lesserafim smut #yunjin smut

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braaan · 9 months

Text

In all the ways that matter (w/ Yunjin)

male reader & lesserafim yunjin

smut & angst & fluff (the one where you want more of what’s already yours), 6k words

Let’s be honest: you don’t deserve Huh Yunjin.

She’s an ambitious mishmash of love languages. But from the way she’s always including you in wishlists back to her parents in New York, how she’s always testing new big-stretch-and-yawn-at-the-movies level ways to get her hands on you, or how she’s going on her eighth permutation of pet names and emojis for you on her phone (it’s been POOKIE🧸🦷🤭💙 for the past 2 weeks — your longest running), anyone would guess that she was fluent across the board.

And that’s only while you’re pretending that looks don’t matter.

Because whenever it feels like you have to chalk up a point for Yunjin’s personality, one of her physical features always stops you at the blackboard.

Yunjin looks like she was grandma-knit: finished patiently and smoothed tender. Where skin would normally crease, Yunjin softens. And between the way her eyes sweeten into crescent moons when she laughs, how her lips always find a way to ease back into their permanent pout, or how perfectly her chin nestles in between your fingers, there was nothing about her that didn’t compete to be your favorite.

But all of them have to settle for second best.

Because your favorite thing about Yunjin is her eyebrows.

They waltz between well-learned battle lines on her forehead, stretching emphatically behind boundaries they know other features did not dare cross, because compared to the rest of her face, they’re bold. They explode from sienna to whiskey and hook insultingly fast, threading down to points so sharp that it only feels right to dot them at the end like exclamation marks, putting a megaphone to the stories that her eyes tell. Only on Yunjin’s face does softness ring loudly. Eye contact morphs into reverie, amusement magnitudes up into hilarity, and tenderness becomes love.

You think it’s unfair.

It’s unfair that the reasons you could fall in love with her are endless. It’s unfair that she can simultaneously make the world the two of you share both so tiny, special, and unreplicable and then larger than life, ever-expansive, and infinite. And it’s unfair that she makes doing all of this at the same time look so effortless.

It’s a high bar to clear.

But you try anyway.

If not to at least get close to the standard she sets, for the sex.

The two of you are practically asking for it the time you get caught.

Standing at the far end of a HYBE practice room, it’s all so fitting: under the only lit floodlight, her on her knees, your cock at attention inches from her lips, tension teetering above climax — Huh Yunjin was going to give you a performance.

She’s kissing at the bottom of your shaft, lingering half a second longer each time as she slowly makes her way up your length. She mewls, ad libbing your grunts with soft, venom-laced yeah?s.

“You sound so pent up,” she starts, thumbing your cockhead counterclockwise.

You give her bits and pieces of an affirmative response: you let out a forced breath somewhere between a grunt and an exhale, grip your cock tighter, and pinch one of her nipples with your free hand. She translates.

“Mmm?” Yunjin purrs. She runs the flat of her tongue long across your entirety, flicking up as she reaches the tip.

You’re gripping at anything you can to stay alive. Trying to keep the facade up that you can compete. You splay your free hand and grab at her chest, playing dirty; grasping for a reaction. She plays your game and picks up the rhythm on your cock.

“You don’t want to just paint my face right now?”

Your breath is hot on your lips, tight in your chest. You’re parrying, blocking, countering. You look deep into the pools of honey bourbon in her eyes. You’re falling into the abyss.

Who fights fair with a poisoned blade? Yunjin? Not with the tears dotting the corners of her eyes; not with the drool running down her chin. Her cheeks are hollow as she swallows further and further down your cock. Her lips brush the base of your shaft. It feels good. She knows it feels good, the way she’s looking back up at you; the way you’re groaning.

She raises her eyebrows.

You cum.

And despite all of the preposition, conviction building, and white-knuckle–steeling, you think, you don’t really ever lose. Because the moment you ride out your orgasm, it’s great.

You can’t compete. You kick off the cliffhanger and throw yourself into freefall. You see white flashes where there used to be color, and the tightness under your stomach evaporates into a vacuum: hot, and all at once. You can fully exhale and for what has to be a full minute, you die.

And as usual, after she makes peace with killing you, Yunjin brings you back to life.

She kisses the top of your cockhead before sitting back on her heels. Under the spotlight, sweat literally shimmering, she’s glowing, and she’s ethereal. Her tongue darts at the sides of her mouth before retreating, replaced by her bottom lip, equal parts pink and proud; satisfied and smug. She grabs at a small towel sitting next to her before beginning to clean up, dabbing at where you’d made a fucking mess out of her face.

But not before the door to the practice room opens. Your stomach shatters, and everywhere you just felt warm goes cold. A woman takes the empty space in the doorway, starts in your direction, and continues way too fast.

Your brain is instantly numb, and you scramble for something further than a stone’s toss away from the plot of a cheap porno. She slipped on her towel and grabbed my zipper on the way down! What do you mean Yunjin’s in this room with us? My COCK? God no, this is a thermometer that just looks a lot like- You don’t get far.

And before you try at reasoning that would effectively end you on the spot, the woman gets close enough. She yelps, producing a folder from behind her to try and shield you from any further consequences.

“Can you put-” she shakes her hands — folder and all — in your general direction, “everything away?”

Jolted awake, you scramble at your pants at your ankles, pulling anything your fingers brushed against in the direction you thought was closed. In hindsight, the zippers for your pants pockets probably didn’t matter much, but you zip those too, hoping the thought counted. Yunjin reappears next to you, the straps of her newly stretched tank top sitting awkwardly on top of her shoulders, now resembling probably anything else closer than they would elastic.

The woman gingerly peeks an eye over at the two of you and lets out a deep, full exhale. “Good, phew!”

“You would think we’d have that practiced by now,” she tuts, using what was once her plastic barrier to fan herself. She shoots a dirtier glare at Yunjin before turning towards you, and her expression visibly softens. “Oh! Same guy!”

And instantly, anything that would give off that she was disappointed just a moment ago dissipates, and is replaced by genuine admiration.

“I respect that you guys are trying to make the dating thing work!”

There were some things that practice wouldn’t get you used to.

See, when you and Yunjin first started dating, you expected a little bit of onboarding. A little bit of catching up to speed: When were her parents’ birthdays? Was she allergic to anything? What were her favorite movies? For extra credit, you’re even brushing up on the idol industry: How long was a comeback promotion period? What was an aegyo? — the usual.

But you’re still taking notes to this day.

(It’s a Saturday a couple of months ago, and you and Yunjin are snaking through the aisles of a thrift store.

“And Chaewon’s seeing them?"

Okay: Yunjin’s snaking through the aisles of a thrift store. You’re trailing behind her, making sure you connected all the right dots together.

“Nope,” she says, eyes scanning a tattered band tee. Then, equally nonchalantly: “Idols get horny, too. Dating just makes things messier than they need to be.”

There’s an expectant pause, then Yunjin turns to look at you.

“Not that that’s a rule or anything,” she adds, placing a hand on yours as if to close the lid on any implication that tried to escape. “It’s just not most people’s style.”)

‘Given’ was probably the word for it, you think. The idol industry collected teenagers at their most formative periods, and where others their age condensed pre-calculus and high school breakups, they learned choreography and how to introduce themselves across the language spectrum. When other kids’ hormones flared up and made them deal with acne, they were digitally edited, scrubbed clean, and hidden behind locked doors. An industry formed on cherry-picking highlights had to have a gnarly underbelly — what would be taboo had to be a given — and it probably only helped that everyone had to look like sex.

So you try to catch up and blend in. Try to not get hung up on how casually sex, drugs, and secrets are laced in sentences. Try to take what Yunjin says at face value.

Still, as her manager leads you through the lobby towards the revolving doors, and you’re bowing profusely as you try to apologize for what she brushes off as not the first time and very normal, there’s a certain edge about it all. Like no matter how airtight Yunjin’s grip tried to be, that you were fortifying a house of cards with pillars of paper mâché.

And it sure as hell didn’t help that halfway through the lobby, you trade greetings with her fake boyfriend.

There were some things that practice wouldn’t get you used to.

So get this: your girlfriend was going to be one half of a manufactured dating scandal.

She stood too close to another idol at a variety show, and online forum sentiment was eating it up (or something like that). There it was: a full page, in bold. All over social media. Yunjin, and the boy with the jawline and swoon-inducing eyes (not that you were jealous), everywhere at once, and on the tips of everyone’s tongue. The buzz brought eyeballs to her group debut, and what better way to snowball that momentum than to confirm it?

Yunjin just didn’t know that you knew yet.

And for your sake, it was probably for the better that she thinks her secret was safe. Firstly, because you don’t know how to feel about how you get the information. You were both at the pinnacle of industry — dating an idol — and at the mercy of it — cobbling together information from vague fan accounts, building a list of social accounts that got leaks right; irony never played fair.

And secondly, because you didn’t know how to bring it up.

Truth be told, you don’t know how to feel about it. You don’t know how you’re supposed to feel about it. You’re equal parts ruptured and reductive. Half of you thinks it borders on trust, and the other half scolds you for thinking that way: that you signed up for this, and don’t know how to compromise. Half of you imagines what they talk about when you’re not around: how far he’ll go to convince the public of a relationship, and the other half thinks you have no self-esteem for stooping that low.

All of you yearns for Yunjin. Because where there were all the things that you had to get used to, there were also the FaceTimes. The phone calls of complete silence when she just wanted someone to listen but was too exhausted to recount what practice was just like. The joy on her face when she told you that was going to debut.

Imposing would be selfish. She deserved everything she worked for, and you don’t even come close to par. Under it all, through the glitz, you see the Huh Yunjin that you fall in love with over again every single day, and she had too tight of a grip on your heart for you to break hers.

So you don’t bring it up, and wait for her to.

It’s quite literally pathetic the way notifications on your phone evoke a physical response out of you. Like it fires a neuron, you’re diving hands outstretched every time you hear it chime.

Sure, it hasn’t paid off yet — you’ve dropped literally everything to be greeted by promotional emails, pushes about the weather, and pings on the latest discounts — but you’ll hold your breath.

Though as you pick yourself up off the floor from familiar disappointment at another non-Yunjin notification, you can’t say that you’re less confused. And you’ve caught yourself multiple times today way too deep in somber tangents for some of it not to start sticking.

The loudest of them all stemmed from the fact that it felt like the answer was implied. That if there was nothing to it, it’d be easy to talk about. That if it was anything like the dating mantra, since it didn’t apply to the two of you, Yunjin would address it at face value.

And tautologically, because she didn’t, it wasn’t.

It’s the end of the week when Yunjin finally texts you.

have dinner plans tonight mister? :)

You draft two texts. The first makes you sound sixteen: obnoxiously sad about the state of affairs of literally everything. The second makes you sound sociopathic: blunt, deflecting, and not enough emojis. You send a third.

Nope! What do you have in mind?

Before long, you’re sitting on a blanket overlooking the Hangang. The sun’s setting, playing a global game of cat and mouse: light spills through the gaps in willow trees, gazebos, and construction, highlighting pockets of parkground with its blessing of orange-red. You’re where the surface area’s the largest, like the paper bowls of ramen didn’t anchor the blanket down enough, and the sun’s rays are what did the trick.

Or, technically speaking: bowl of ramen.

Because while Yunjin was three-quarters of the way finished with hers, sneaking bites in as she took breaths in between practically spoiling her next comeback, yours was virtually untouched. You made do with spinning the floating egg in your bowl dizzy.

“You know,” Yunjin starts, “you didn’t have to come out if you weren’t hungry.”

You look up at her. Her head’s cocked at an angle, piqued such that it catches sunlight. In the glow, she’s beautiful.

“I’m a big girl now,” she emphasizes. “You can tell me no. I might cry myself to sleep after, but — you know — in a big girl way.”

Her eyes curl up into tiny moons like they always do, and you give her a weak response.

It’s tightrope thin. Yunjin’s prodding, expecting you to riposte, poking at things she knows will get a reaction out of you; you don’t bite. You’re both expecting an answer. Your heart is jackhammering at your chest, and between the punctuation, in the offbeats, you want to yell. You want to find out if your house of cards is built on sand.

The both of you are walking back towards HYBE, along the scenic route that you always take, and only someone purposely oblivious would guess that everything was fine.

“Do you,” Yunjin perks up, trailing off, “not like the comeback?”

You don’t say anything.

“Maybe,” she pokes again, “you’re grumpy because I haven’t been texting you?”

You feel her eyes peek at you then retreat. In your peripheral vision you see her purse her lips, nod, and then smirk. You hear a tiny breath.

“Are you,” and she lets out an exaggerated gasp, “seeing someone else?”

“I know about your scandal, Yunjin,” you blurt out, and it's too fast for either of your own goods.

There’s a beat. You both stop walking. You turn her way.

“Your dating scandal — your fake boyfriend — whatever.”

Yunjin isn't great at hiding her emotions — her eyebrows give it away. You see her face gradient across shock, then consideration, before landing on shame. Her eyebrows knit, and she can’t meet your eyes.

There’s another beat. You can hear your heart thump in your ears, and despite the autumn at night, you’re hot. You’re searching her face for a tell, some semblance of an answer; anything.

You’re imposing.

And for the first time in the past week, you’re thinking of her. Of her today and her in the past. Of all the work she put in to get to where she wanted to be. Of what she had to give up to have tonight with you. Of all the nights before this, and the many she had to cancel abruptly because work came up. Of her being here now, and you selfishly making this about yourself.

You’re imposing, and it feels like shit.

“I’m-,” Yunjin starts, voice shaky.

You look at her, and there’s tears pooling in her eyes.

“I didn’t know how to bring it up,” she continues slowly, and then the surface tension breaks. She shuts her eyes tight, and then she’s crying. “It’s in the contract we signed. It helps our comeback.”

You hear the Huh Yunjin that you first fall in love with. Before the glitz, before she had to pretend like she was an adult-

“I don’t know what to say.”

- before she had to hide anything from you.

(The two of you are in front of the HYBE building, and she’s giving you shit for how messily you eat. It’s a late spring, and Yunjin’s hair is shoulder-length and cherry oak. You’re missing a lecture on the pigeonhole principle, and she’s dodging her manager — sea salt ice cream was seasonal, after all.

“How did you get it on your nose?” She chides you, dabbing around your mouth with a scrunched napkin. “They should have you give your I.D. to see if you can handle a cone instead of a cup. Nine-year olds can do this better than you.”

“What if you don’t debut, Yunjin?”

You were always good at telling it like it was, even if you had to disregard social tact. But you had a point. Yunjin was going on her third trainee year, and internally, it didn’t look like it was going to be her last.

There’s a couple of beats before she softens.

“I don’t know.”

It’s a side of her that really only you do. Under the spunk and the character she has to amplify, there is fear: that she’s taking too large a gamble, that she’d be perpetually behind if she didn’t make it, that it’d be safer if she just did what everyone else was doing.

She can’t meet your eyes, and she’s fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

“I just think things tend to happen for a reason,” she says, with more resolve than you expect. “And I don’t think it’s worth it to question it deeper than that.”

“How much of that is because you’re scared of the answer?”

There’s a pause, and the implication is clear.

“Do you always hate to have just a cute, fictional moment?” You look down at her, and she’s expecting it, staring back at you, eyebrows knit, lips in an exaggerated pout. “We can’t just — I don’t know — kiss and end things on the high note?”

You break, and let out the unflattering start to a laugh. She’s deflecting, and you know to let it go. In your heart of hearts, the two of you know that you’re both right. That there’s fear in uncertainty — a lot of it — but also hope. That big payoffs don’t come if you don’t gamble it all.

You lean down and kiss her on the nose.

She’s staring at you as she walks all the way back through the revolving doors, a smirk across her lips, and the unmistakably blue speck of sea salt ice cream on her nose. She’s yelling, letting you know to let the rest of your face have some ice cream, too.)

And you’re staring at her, wishing this time was half as picturesque. She doesn’t have the words; she doesn’t have to. Asking the hard question was your thing. She’s pleading, frantically, and her watery eyes are beckoning. You want to tell her that it’ll all play out, that things happen for a reason; you don’t have to — that was her thing.

Under the soft, streetlamp glow, you see the Yunjin the public doesn’t — the uncertainty, the gamble, the fear. You hear the desperation in the dark days; the resolve, unconvincing yet unabashed, that what was far out was not so; the throughline: that if she pretended to be convinced, maybe you would, too.

You see the Yunjin you love, and you’re so fucking whipped.

You thumb the tear trailing down her cheek. You’re defeated, and it bleeds into your voice, but never going to pass on hitting where it hurts. “What happened to changing the idol industry?”

She chokes back a laugh through tears. “Okay,” she starts, and through the sarcasm she tries for — and how muddy it was between sniffles — she’s glad to hear your voice. “It’s the goddamn industry. What am I supposed to do in the debut video: admit defeat? Who’d watch that?”

“Sorry, it’s just — all of it — so dumb,” she adds for good measure, swiping at her eyes.

Hanging in the night, in the words unsaid, in between the watery sarcasm and the tension quickly evaporating, it’s clear. The two of you resolve a silent conversation. You’re punctuating her apologies with eye rolls, and she wants to hear you say you love her, but she knows that already. You say you don’t deserve her, and she calls you stupid.

Tears hot down your cheeks, you’re both laughing now, bouncing off of each other. And then, into the what’s next of it all: “I can try to get out of it,” Yunjin says.

It’s cathartic and real, and should disarm you.

But you say no.

Down to your cores, you and Yunjin were infinitely kindred. Intertwined forever, etched in the books of fate with permanent marker. You were after each other's hearts, molded from the same cosmic clay. You had each other in all the ways that mattered, and that would never change.

The last stop on your train home is when you get the notification.

are you headed home?

And in the moment, you catastrophize. It was in the middle of the weekend of her comeback. What was she thinking? Did something happen? How far were you away from HYBE?

But even if you played the same situation back a hundred times over, there was no way in hell you’d get to the conclusion that Huh Yunjin was in your foyer, behind your door, and wearing what didn’t leave much to imagination.

“Yunjin-” you try and start, before you’re kissed quiet.

Her hands are on top of yours, leading, as you smooth down the creases of her vanilla crop top and run your thumbs down her body. Your fingers are fluid, filling the divots, tracing along the lines, running the valleys of muscle in the flat of her stomach. Between bouts, as her lips linger inches away from yours, for a moment uncaptured, you breathe in air nonvenomous, and try to grapple with it all, scrambling for something to hold on to before your brain short circuits.

You’re sinking, and you don’t know how to wrestle rights from rudimentaries. Yunjin’s eyes, glazed over, zero in on yours, and she kisses you again. Her lips are sweet and have a bite to them, yours smack as you swallow the venom thick on your tongue. She pulls away, you come up for air.

Standing in the soft, orange-yellow glow of light from the room adjacent, you see the Yunjin the public does — the siren, sultry and seductive: her eyes, soft, malleable, and unassuming — how she could convince you that your name was something else entirely if she looked at you head on — her lips, venom-laced and tantalizing — how she’d push the agenda.

Except this time, you’re finally lucid, and you see the parallel. In the muscles — impressive in the light, but meek at the same time, like it split moments in the spotlight with softness — in the eyes — perpetually provocative, but infinitely innocent — in the perfect unattainable. Everything is polished, nudged purposefully in its direction. It’s all artificial, doctored, and done up.

Huh Yunjin is a product of industry, and you were going to fuck it out of her.

Yunjin’s smirk dismantles as you rip your hands from her grip. It completely falls apart as you pull her into you face first, thumbs across her cheeks. And as she tries to pull back, you’re keeping her where you want her, kissing into the poison. Her hands grab at your chest; at your dress shirt, half foregoing permission, pulling buttons apart, and half to steady herself as you move your dance deeper into your living room.

You’re leading this time, and as your knees bump brown velvet, you’re able to rasp: “Yunjin, on the couch.”

“How do you want me?” she whispers, breath hot on your lips.

“Legs apart.” You push her into the middle seat, and her hands are working at her shorts. There’s an audible zip, and they’re on your hardwood.

And as you’re kneeling down into the negative space in between Yunjin’s thighs, in the seconds, sultry and slow-burn, you catch a glimpse of her face. Spread across the finger in her mouth, eyes half-lidded, and eyebrows upturned, you think you see anticipation. Like you were going to rip Yunjin apart, and — straying away from what she was taught, coloring outside the lines — she might let you.

You test the theory: you take her into your mouth.

And you don’t think you’ve heard an exhale more pained.

You’re generous — lapping at her heat through lace, grazing against her clit — and with variety — kissing her inner thighs, nipping at skin. Yunjin’s sensitive and unintelligible.

“Fuck,” she manages to get out, her hips bucking, searching for more of you. One of her hands tries to meet you where you are, to pull her panties to the side, to feel you on her. But you redirect her to where you want her to be: your free hand on her wrist, you lead her up her chest. And though reluctantly, she translates. Together, you’re undoing buttons, palming the fullness of her breast, and flicking at the hard bud of her nipple.

Eventually, you give Yunjin what she wants.

You’re cradling her thighs around your forearms, and at the angle you have her, suspended, supported by the small of her back, you swear she yelps. You draw her underwear to the side, and then Yunjin’s squealing. She’s whining, she’s so wet, she’s raking her nails at your scalp. Your mouth’s on her cunt, drawing long across her folds, tonguing the alphabet over her clit.

There’s this moment. She’s arching, thighs hooked tight at your arms, on her tiptoes. You poke your tongue into her heat, there’s a high note, and then Yunjin’s cumming in your mouth.

And as you coax her through it, tongue flat, letting her ride your mouth, you’re sharing a gaze. Morbid curiosity can’t stop her from peeking at the mess she’s making, and you want to see what it looks like to kill a goddess.

“Fuck,” Yunjin repeats, like it’s the only word she knows, as you lick your lips. Her head’s tucked into her chest, and the orange bask she’s painted in is competing with the blush sauntering across her cheeks.

“You’re so-” she starts, dodging your eyes, kicking out gingerly at you.

“Mm?” you beckon, easing yourself in between her legs, undoing the button at your pants, freeing your cock tenting at the fabric. “I’m so?” you press again, tugging her panties off, soaked beyond belief.

And how you have her under you, top unbuttoned, hanging off her shoulders, how she can’t meet your eyes, it’s apt. Like she’s disarmed. Like under the layers of polish and practice, purposefully put away; under the glitz, the expensive everything: multisyllabic and most likely mispronounced; under the spunk, in her personal space, when she wasn’t allowed to deflect, Huh Yunjin was naked, and like putty in your hands.

All it took was your mouth on her cunt.

And she sure as shit didn’t need to say anything to you to admit it. It’s hard to miss, the way she’s folding her legs behind your waist, the red across her cheeks deepening.

“Think about your answer,” you quip for good measure, and with your cock hovering inches away from her pussy: “I’m going to fuck you now.”

And truthfully, the confidence is more for you than it is for Yunjin. It’s far from your first time, but every time you slide your cock in Yunjin’s cunt, it’s like everything around you takes a collective deep breath. Time becomes measured in fractions of a second, and you’re clairvoyant and hypersensitive. The head of your cock pushes into her pussy, and it’s hot.

You inhale a breath, picking up the sex in the air.

You swear your vision inverts. There’s white where there used to be color.

You catch the entirety of Yunjin’s mewling, as she goes from fuck, please, and your cock into falsetto. She’s mixing your name with untranslatables.

You feel her fucking cunt.

Teeth gritted, you’re pairing hard and soft. You bury your length in her, the front of your thighs slapping the back of hers, and kiss her lips tender. You only taste Yunjin, and you kiss her like she’s lifeblood. It’s sweet: her lipstick, her taste still on your lips, the breaths you’re sharing. And as Yunjin breaks for air, you’re whispering in the negative space, breath hot.

“Yeah?”

And she’s nodding her head, uncontrollably. Agreeing to anything you put forward, before you even asked. Anything that kept your cock in her.

“You’re-” you try again.

Your hands wrap around her midriff, her hands wrap around your wrists.

“You’re such a-”

God, her fucking cunt.

Except you need to hear it. You want to hear her say it, airtight, with no room for implication to escape.

“Yunjin,” you finally manage, and then in whole: “You’re such a good girl for my cock, aren’t you?”

She’s nodding her head, mumbling. But that wasn’t good enough for you. You’re hilting, deep in her cunt, and steadying yourself, curling a hand around her neck. “Yunjin” — a little louder — “answer me.”

Her hands around your wrists tighten, and she lets out this moan. Like she’s trying to give you the answer you want, and frustrated that she can only whine. Finally, through the untranslatables: yes, yes, all for your cock-

But that wasn’t it. Your fingers are pressing into her throat, and you’re pounding into her, wet all over you; imprinting her into the sofa. “Yunjin,” and it’s dark. “This is all you want, isn’t it?”

And she’s doing everything she can to convince you. She’s pushing herself into your length, grabbing at your hands, and through eyes half-lidded, staring deep at you. To show you she can compete, to show you just how good she was — just for you. And through your grip: “Yes, fuck. God, yes — this is all I-”

But it’s not what you want to hear. You’re riding the line. You’re biting your tongue bloody. Yunjin’s cunt is suffocatingly tight against your cock. Your grip’s white-knuckle on her skin. You shut your eyes tight. You know what you wanted to hear.

“Your other boyfriend can’t give it to you like this, can he?”

And you spend all the luck that was supposed to last you this lifetime, because in a moment of lucidity, you pull out. But immediately after that, you’re left to your own devices, and of course, you cum.

It’s hot, and you feel like a rubber band twanged across the middle. Like everything tight is wrenched out of you, and then let go, left to ricochet on your spine, springing back and forth. Your ears are ringing, your toes are curling; you’re letting out an orgasm so deep, you’re only saved by the fact that your eyes are closed for half of it.

And as you stir, blinking vision back into your eyes, your brain coming back to center, you’re thinking back, and you realize what the fuck you just said.

Yunjin’s meeting you where your eyes are at. Your brain’s numb, her jaw’s frozen in this half-scoff, lips untouching. She raises her eyebrows, giving you somewhere between what the fuck and intrigued. It’s expectant. You opened this up, she’s saying, now what?

You’re standing in the sand, and your house of cards is crumbling. You’re toeing where you expect the line to be, can’t find it, and don’t need to look to know it’s long behind you. Your chest is tight, and the implication is still in the air. You’re scrambling for something: something to walk it back, something in between the lines, anything to drive a stake through the premise and kill it entirely.

Yunjin is less patient. She ventures into the unknown, since you won’t. “Has this been about that the entire time?”

“Yunjin,” and you’re honest, preemptively reaching your hands out to her. “I don’t know why I said that.”

You’re looking straight into her eyes, completely wide. Her eyebrows pinch, and there’s a couple of beats. You know you should take them, to fill in the blanks; not to let the implication linger. But before you do: “I thought about my answer,” Yunjin starts, lowering her fingers to where you left yourself on her stomach.

And only after she runs her forefinger across her tongue, only after she cleans it of cum: “You’re so good, and no one can give it to me like you do.”

Spread across the bite in her lip, eyes half-lidded, and how she’s staring at you through her lashes, the implication’s crystal. And you would probably literally short circuit, if not for the second wind that was Yunjin licking you off of her fingers as she doubled down.

It all crescendos. She’s flipped over, and you’re pounding her into the couch, half to punctuate any sentences that implied she wasn’t completely yours, and the other half because her cunt was still so goddamn tight. The upholstery’s harmonizing, the hardwood exhaling on her offbeat.

You’re gripping Yunjin’s hips, bottoming out in her cunt at an angle, pulling her back into you. And she’s writhing, whining, taking your cock deeper and deeper.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she’s saying, and it irks you a little more than it should.

“Yunjin,” you spit, and you’re pressing your thumbs into her skin. “Shut up and take this dick like a good girl.”

And when you’re both pressing the buttons-

“Who else can fuck you like this, Yunjin?”

no one no sorry so sorry all yours this pussy yours you fuck me so- so hot when you’re jealous

“Yeah? You want me to? You’re such a good girl for me, baby,”

yes so good only for you so messy all over your cock fuck cum in me cum in me please i’ve been such a good girl please

- the gray area might as well be a chasm.

Because after you cum inside her, Yunjin drooling over your sofa, breath shuddering, leaking all over your cock, you have a mountain to climb. Physically — how you’re crumpled over her, exhausted, entangled — emotionally — how you’ll both put a cap on this in its entirety — and all of the rest of the above.

You’ll wait for her to bring it up.

Yunjin’s wrapped in your dress shirt, two sizes too big, and her head’s on your chest. Nothing short of Herculean, you’re in bed, and under polyester.

“He has a girlfriend, you know,” she says.

“Huh?” you manage intelligibly.

“My scandal.” Yunjin motions under the sheets, like the word needed air quotes. “Cute little thing. Works at an animal hospital. Always the loudest voice in the fanchants.”

You’re stunned, and don’t know what the right line of conversation is. “How are they taking it?”

“Probably makes their sex hotter, too.”

Dating made everything so much messier than it needed to be.

Two weeks after their comeback, the scandal breaks.

The official post is tame, but knowing netizens — a look at the comments confirming your suspicions — they’re feral. It’s a collage of three photos that look like they were taken from fifty feet away, but unmistakably of Yunjin an arm’s length away from another figure. They’re on a blanket overlooking the Hangang; she’s cuddled up in one of your hoodies, two sizes too big; and in the third photo, enlarged in post for emphasis, Yunjin’s nestled in his arm, selling the relationship pretty goddamn well.

You open an alt account and leave a hate comment.

LET’S BE HONEST HE DON’T DESERVE HER 💀💀💀😭😭😭

---

#kpop smut #kpop fanfic #reader insert #idol x male reader #idol x reader #lesserafim smut #yunjin smut

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heavenlycloud · 2 months

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le sserafim reaction to you doing a tiktok trend on them: le sserafim x fem! reader

authors note: i wrote this back when these trends were actually trending a few months ago. this wasn't requested but i got the idea while scrolling through tiktok and forgot to post it so here it is!

tw// VERY VERY light barely there suggestive remarks

sakura ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚

you and your members had just gotten finished with weeks of packed schedules with little rest. finally, you were finally fixing your sleeping schedule and feeling less like a zombie and more like a human being again. your members were decompressing in their own ways like yunjin who was lost in her own world strumming on her guitar in the room beside yours. chaewon and kazuha were watching some new drama in the living room and eunchae was asleep in her room. sakura busied herself with her new hobby, crocheting, while listening to a video with her headphones on. you watched your girlfriend make her new project- a small bag made of mesh-like stitches. her brows furrowed in concentration as she tried to count her stitches in her head so not to disturb you sitting silently across from her. she assumed you were reading a new book from your online library but you were actually just watching tiktoks. after seven chapters of your novel you'd lost interest and switched to something more entertaining. you'd stumbled onto a trend of girls asking their boyfriends to hand them an orange, then asking if they'd peel it for them to see the reaction. with nothing else to do you decided to give it a try:

"kkura?" you poked your girlfriend with your socked foot and she answered without looking up from her crocheting, "yes?" you put your phone in your lap and sighed, "i want a clementine, do you know if we have any?" sakura hummed and looked up, "there's some in the kitchen inside of the refrigerator in the bottom left drawer. i just got them for you yesterday on my way home." you smiled at the mention because you didn't ask her to buy them for you yesterday, she just did it because she thought you'd enjoy them. you clasped a clip back onto one of the twists that fell into your face before you asked sweetly, "can you please get it?" without hesitation sakura nodded and said while still focusing on the hook and yarn in her hand, "gimmie one second." when she finished her row she went to get your clementine and returned with two and a paper towel.

your girlfriend sat back down and began peeling the clementines for you without you having to ask. she even pulled the little stringy parts that you hated most off and threw them away with the peels. when she handed you back the peeled fruits you asked, "why did you peel them for me?" sakura answered easily, "you don't like how the peels gets stuck under your nails so i did it. enjoy." you leaned over and kissed her cheek, "thank you, kkura." she pressed a kiss to your temple, "of course my love."

chaewon ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚

despite being a part of gen z and being called one of the best gen z idols by fans, you were underqualified in one area: social media. you didn't even remember to check your texts let alone what was trending across different apps. the only reason you knew if something was on trend or not was because of fans or your friends teaching you. however, after being teased about it you promised yourself that you'd keep up a little more just for fun. plus, your bosses suggested it'd be good for fan service and engagement which was always a good thing. but, what wasn't a good thing was that little promise to keep up with trends resulted in you now being 'chronically online' according to yunjin. you scrolled through your for you page and watched yet another video of a woman asking her partner, "name a woman." after going down a rabbit hole of the same type of video you decided to try it out on your own girlfriend.

"baby." you shook chaewon lightly as she laid in your arms with her cheek pressed against your bare shoulder. she answered sleepily, "hmmm?" you grinned as you told her, "name a woman."

chaewon pulled away from you slightly and asked, "what do you mean?" you responded plainly, "name a woman." your girlfriend toyed with one of your box braids and asked once more in confusion, "any woman?" you clarified, "any woman." she then replied without a second thought, "han sohee." you let out a huff and tried again, "name a different woman." chaewon answered again with a different name, "bada lee." you could almost hear the smile in her voice that time and you whined, "you were supposed to say my name!" your girlfriend pulled away from you fully and told you, "you said 'name a woman' not 'name my woman'. there's a difference, you're mine."

yunjin ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚

you were no stranger to the song water by tyla or the dance challenge that went along with it. one evening while you were on a weverse live you'd played the song after seeing people comment the title. you sang along to it and mentioned with a smirk, "i want to perform this on a stage so bad guys. i learned the dance and everything but i don't know if i'd ever be able to show you. ever since you'd randomly danced to WAP during a live a year ago, you've been monitored more than your other members. but after fans demanded for days on end you were finally allowed to post your water challenge on tiktok.

"i dunno i think you need to do it again." yunjin sat in front of you with her back against the mirror in the dance practice room. your girlfriend was acting as your camerawoman for your tiktok challenge, and she had you redo the dance nearly 15 times now. you taught her the dance earlier and she was doing it a little too well yet she insisted only you be in the video. she eyed you up and down with her gaze lingering on your rolled up tank top and sweatpants that sat low on your hips. you sighed and did the dance again along to the music before asking her, "was that one better? lemme see-" you reached for her phone and she said, "oh i wasn't recording that." your eyes widened and you asked, "wha- why not?! were you recording any of them?" yunjin shook her head and you smacked her arm, "yunjin! you had one job!" your girlfriend defended herself, "what? you can't expect me to remember what i'm supposed to do if you're shaking all that in my face." she wrapped her arms around your waist and kissed your neck but you pulled away.

you told her, "you can have me later okay? now focus!" just as you were pulling away she looped her fingers around one of the strings of beads that sat on your hips. yunjin tied a hoodie around your torso and said, "much better. now i can focus." you rolled your eyes and told her, "you're no better than a man." she waved you off, "yeah okay. just do your little dance...i'm ready now i swear."

kazuha ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚

you knew that yunjin created a monster when she introduced your members to chipotle and not even a full day later kazuha was saying she missed it. every time she looked back through her camera roll for pictures to post she was sending her chipotle photo to the group chat saying she wanted it again. you found it hilarious because all it took was one bowl and she was already whining about how korea needed to get hip to the fast food chain.

one night after scrolling through your tiktok feed you saw a man recreate chipotle at home for his wife so you thought you'd try it for kazuha. you couldn't find all of the exact recipes but you came pretty close despite the fact that cilantro just doesn't really exist in korea. but knowing your girlfriend, she'd appreciate anything that you gave her so it was fine.

"zuha! baby come here i have something for you." you called kazuha to the kitchen where you had all of the food laid out in containers on the table. you handed her a bowl and said, "i made you chipotle." kazuha's eyes lit up and she nearly jumped over the table to tackle you into a hug. she clapped her hands together and you stood on the other side of the table to serve her your home version of chipotle. she was more than happy to post about it on weverse, showing the meal off to everyone especially knowing that her members weren't around to steal any off her plate.

#kpop fanfic #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #kpop imagines #girl group fluff #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #le sserafim scenarios #lesserafim imagines #le sserafim reactions #kpop girl group #yunjin imagines #kazuha imagines #sakura imagines #chaewon imagines #le sserafim x reader

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pupuyvs · 3 months

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goal! ー chaewon smau

➼ Synopsis Yoo Jihye and her friends are the biggest losers in school. Though proud of the title, it seems to bite her when someone decides to sign her up for the school’s soccer team as a prank. Now forced to play the full season, how will Jihye survive, especially when the team’s captain is dating her crush, head cheerleader Kim Chaewon.

➼ Genre smau + written, wlw, non-idol au, cheerleader!chaewon, loser!femoc, fluff, comedy, slight angst

➼ Pairing Kim Chaewon x fem!oc

➼ Warning kms/kys jokes, mentions of bullying, homophobic jokes

➼ Status ongoing

➼ Updates whenever

➼ Taglist closed

➼ featuring: aespa, le sserafim, yeji (itzy), yuna (itzy), ahn yujin (ive), jang wonyoung (ive), yeonjun (txt), mark (nct), wonbin (riize), more to come…

➼ a/n decided chaewon nation deserved a blessing after eay, once again though there is an oc however you can view it as reader i truly don’t mind other than that enjoy!!

profiles: loser club | cheerios | tigers | others

chapters:

more to come…

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iznsfw · 5 months

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Here, Kitty, Kitty!

IZ Days of Christmas 2023: Day 2 - Miyawaki Sakura

LE SSERAFIM's Miyawaki Sakura x Male Reader Smut

6,381 words

Categories | catgirl!Sakura, petplay, KITTY CORNER

Queued this on the wrong time, sorry for the late post

The smell of freshly sautéed food fills your nostrils. The seasoning prickles the air and your stomach rumbles even before you rise. You’d drool over the food if you didn’t open your eyes and find someone else more worthy of your adoration.

Do you need to say more? No, but you’ll go on anyway when it’s about Sakura.

Her back is turned yet your focus remains attached to her. Long brown hair sways with her movements from the restraints of a band. You wonder if she knows how many times you’ve threaded your fingers through her locks as she sleeps, or notice how your hand always goes to her hair whenever she needs comforting. Your attention’s brought to her white skin exposed by the short sleeves of her short shirt. Each lot it takes—her pretty arms, bare neck, or tiny waist—is perfect. There’s beauty even without catching sight of her face.

Of course, there’s also beauty when you see it.

Sakura turns her head. She smiles, her fine cheekbones highlighted. And it’s like falling in love with her all over again. “I knew that would wake you up.”

The food’s just the alarm clock. Sakura’s the sunshine that blinds you.

You lean forward with a playful lilt in your voice. “Are you implying that I’m greedy?”

She draws the big wooden spoon to her mouth and licks a peppered green off it. “I’m implying that I’m a great chef,” she says. She turns the stove off satisfiedly.

Your legs feel shaky from the long commute, in which you spent a painful amount of time rushing and reaping, but they still choose the way to your girlfriend. When you wrap your arms around her, she jerks in surprise. She settles into them anyway; you’re a familiar comfort. You like how small she looks in your embrace, how you’re always entertained by the idea that you could easily pick her up and give her the biggest hug ever.

(And other things.)

You kiss the side of her head. “Thanks for the dinner, pet.”

Sakura looks up at you with those spell-binding large eyes, reminding you again of why you chose that nickname. Pet name is a more accurate term.. She’s the tiniest thing ever that you’re pretty sure you could pick her up with just one hand, like she’s a kitten. Her small whines whenever she’s frustrated during a game or tired from work don’t help diminish the urge to call her your pet.

“It’s nothing,” she giggles. “I want you to eat well.”

“I eat enough already. Watch.”

Seal your lips around her earlobe jokingly. Sakura shrieks. Your laughs vibrate on her skin as the feeling tickles her. Once you release her, she begins to hit you painlessly with the utensil.

“Perv!”

“Whoa, that wasn’t even foreplay or anything.”

Sakura’s smile reaches her ears. “Jerk,” she says. “How do I even deal with a horndog like you?”

Okay, now that’s not fair. You’re not even horny twenty-four seven. You just tend to let the memories of Sakura in a summer top and skimpy shorts linger. So her bold accusations are totally false. Nope. You’re not letting them tarnish your image.

“You’re the one thinking dirty about it, pet,” you say, snatching the spoon from her and lifting it high.

Her attempt to steal it draws laughs from you. She’s too small to achieve the spoon. She extends her arm up yet ends up empty-handed. Sakura huffs and crosses her arms, finally giving up.

“I know.”

Now you’re the one smiling. It surprises you how quickly she said it, almost like she’s trying to lead things somewhere. The tilt of your mouth reaches places when your cute girlfriend blushes.

“Oh?”

“Y-you know what I meant.”

“I actually do not.”

“Well, I won’t tell you anyway. I like it when you do the talking.”

Sakura always prioritizes you, and it often makes you feel guilty. She’s never put herself first. It’s always her taking the last turn, having the smallest half of the cake, giving what she has though it’s only enough for her. Sometimes you want to give back to her, too, and not just in the act of being her boyfriend.

“And I like it when you let me take care of you.” Open your mouth anyway when she raises the spoon to your lips. As always, her cooking is everything.

You’d say thank you verbally, but you think you prefer grabbing her small waist and lifting her on the countertop. You prefer that squeal, too. Sakura has a funny smirk on her face. You sweep back her disheveled hair and kiss that smile you love so much.

“So let me do the listening this time. What’s going on in that pretty little head, pet?”

“Just… you.” Her legs surround your hips. “I can’t think, I can’t work. All I think about is how you’re doing.”

Sakura massages the sides of your head. You swear you can feel her love trickle from her long, thin fingers and into your mind. She’s so learned in the ways of love that you get a free lesson from her everyday. You’re still studying, but you think you’ve got the hang of it.

“I can handle myself, Sakura,” you tell her. “You’re always taking care of me, so now, I gotta be the one doing it with you.”

“There’s one way for you to take care of me…”

Sakura’s hand grasps yours, and soon she’s leading it between her legs. In turn, it leads you to notice how tiny her shorts are. The hem’s literally hugging below the centers of her cheeks, giving attention to its supple shape. It leaves no room for the imagination. Neither does her crop top. Why is she wearing such a tight shirt in the house anyway? It’s just the two of you.

Then you see the lust in her face, and the dots all connect.

“Naughty pet.” Squeeze the cheek of her ass to feel her body tense. “What exactly are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking,” says Sakura, as she lifts her legs so you could pull her shorts off, “that you ruin me with those fingers.”

Familiar scent and a familiar sight: her drenched cunt. But you never get tired of seeing her naked or running your digits along her pink slit.

Sakura’s voice whittles into a soft breath, the kind you only hear when she sings quietly. That must be why her moans are like music to you.

Her wetness is unbelievable. In little time, your fingers are already soaked, and you haven’t even put them inside her yet. There’s no need to rush anyway. You’ll take your time playing with her.

Miyawaki Sakura is named after cherry blossoms. It only makes sense that her blush is as pink as the seasonal flowers. Her core drips as if it holds excessive dew drops. Something about the color, too. Something about her center having the same blooming beauty her face has. You stroke this southern flower. Sakura grips your forearm tightly.

Immediately, your fingertips are dripping with her juices. Each flick of your hand, like that of a magician, makes her legs shudder. That’s only one more reason to do it. Play with her clit so she responds with an expected gasp.

“Mmh, please.”

“Yeah?”

“M-make me cum…” Sakura’s practically salivating. The drool from her mouth is a parallel to the juices trickling from her cunt. “I need it.”

You kiss her. “I know you do.”

Your touch pierces her core. Sakura’s gasp extends, and her large cat eyes grow rounder. Your fingers move as if to beckon—as if to beckon the strongest climax from her. Of course, you can’t keep doing the same thing if you want that. Recognize this, spread her thigh apart from your forearm and pin it to the counter so you could ram your fingers in her harsher. You make sure to touch her sensitive parts in order to keep those beautiful moans floating to your ears.

You had your suspicions, but it seems now that Sakura was not wearing a bra beneath that tight excuse of a crop top. Her nipples make a print upon the fabric. It’s an invitation, really. Softness fills your palms as you squeeze and squeeze and squeeze, keeping your girlfriend on the road to her orgasm.

“Feels so good!” she says—(no, screams.) Her feet kick and the entirety of her small body tenses up. “Feels so… oh god, don’t stop!”

Your thumb toys with her nipple as your lips latch on her neck. You wouldn’t think of it. You’re here to give Sakura what she needs and wants. In fact, you’re borderline spoiling her—you don’t actually have to thrust that hard or kiss her this passionately. But when it comes to giving back to her, you admit you go a little overboard.

It’s not like anyone else wouldn’t have done the same thing when Sakura’s so vocal about everything. Her cute voice becomes even cuter as it twists with every plunge and squeeze of your hand. She stutters over her words, a habit that becomes more adorable despite the circumstances, and looks at you with this unhinged wildness you only ever see when you’re taking her. If she’s your pet, she’d be a feral cat in heat, always in need for blissful salvation.

Well, you’ll grant it to her.

In the privacy of your own home, this is what you could do to Sakura: leave hickeys all over her skin, finger her with the strings of wetness connecting and disconnecting from your digits, have her for your own. You grow harsher by the minute, and she loves every second of it.

“Please. More, please, I want—”

“What do you want, Sakura?”

She needs to speak yet your swift strokes prevent her from saying a comprehensible syllable. Sakura’s hold on your arm—on you—truly is fascinating. She can control you while staying on the receiving side with her pouty slim lips and trembling body. She can make you do anything for her without having to convince you. Her hand over the center of your pants just adds to the heat.

She palms your stiff erection while you thrust your fingers inside her little pussy relentlessly. It’s all so much for a tiny girl to give and take, so it shouldn’t be a surprise when she says it—

“Need you to fuck your kitten’s pussy, make me squirt, I want it so bad!”

—but it is.

You’re well aware of why your fingerfucking grows borderline cruel, why Sakura is screaming the way she is. You’re lost in the moment. The heat in your pants is becoming unbearable. Your fingers are ruining her.

And you can feel sharp teeth sinking into your neck. The pain is pleasure, and you’re struggling to think of what her bite reminds you of: fangs? Needles? Pins?

A kitten?

Sakura wets the counter and your sleeves. She whimpers against your skin, but you keep on going. You know it’s what she wants. In the corner of your eye, you can see her ears turn red. The volume of her moans next to your ear reaches heights.

“N-no… ah, stop.”

Stop?

Stop.

“Sakura?” you ask warily, afraid you did something wrong. Were things going too far? Are you hurting her? Maybe you already did.

Relief courses through your chest when she kisses you. “I’m alright,” she says sweetly. “It’s just… hmm—”

She never gets to continue what she’s saying until later on. She finds your concerned face too adorable. You’re pretty sure she saw the vulnerability in it. There’s something raw about someone seeing beauty in you the way you see in her.

Sakura kisses you, hands containing your face. You smile into the heated session. When you drag your fingers slowly out of her cunt, she moans again, rekindling your carnal wants.

She pulls away. “I like how your fingers are totally soaked,” she says lightly, “and it’s all me.”

She opens her mouth meekly, and you already know what to do.

Earlier, her pussy wrapped your fingers. Now, her lips do, stroking your digits of the liquid that pours down them. It’s like she’s having a second dinner with the way she’s devouring her own juices. You aren’t taking a bite of anything, but watching Sakura do what she does best is a whole meal already.

“God, Sakura, you’re so fucking sexy.”

She giggles. “Thank you. I try to be for you.”

The twirl of your wrist guides her tongue in cleaning your hand up. She truly is a kitten. Her tiny tongue licks you up, and her distinct moans almost sound like meows.

So it’s only right that you pet her. Ruffle her hair and lead it back into place. “You’re always hot, pet.”

Think back to the moments she sits in her room gaming, with nothing but your shirt and panties on. Of course she always is. It’s second nature to her.

“I’d tell you to continue,” says Sakura slyly, kissing your fingertips, “but that would ruin the bigger surprise, won’t it?”

“What surprise?”

She hops off the counter and pushes you to the island. Since when did her workouts involve that? But she’s Sakura—your girlfriend whose face shows the mischief of a pet who’s too aware of what she’s doing. That’s why you’re breathless.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Well, fuck.

Sakura hooks her finger underneath the button of your shirt. Just a skim of her touch makes you shake. You’re wondering what’s happening—more importantly, what will be happening. But the answer’s clear. She knows your secrets, and now, she’s about to show you something she’s been hiding herself.

She starts leading you to the bedroom. If looks could kill, you’d be dead by now, on the floor, drool rolling down from the corner of your mouth. And it would be all because of your girlfriend’s sultry expression that’s locked and loaded on you, ready to maim.

Her back rests on your bedroom door. You’re so close to each other that not one breath goes unheld by your skin. She’s truly evil for this. She knows you’re down bad for her, down at rock bottom. And she still chooses to work you up like this: pressing herself against the wooden door, with nothing but that short crop top on and a smile that’s too alluring.

You laugh. Grasp her waist. You can span its width using a single hand. “What’s this, pet?” you say. She’s getting you all hot and bothered.

“Just come inside and close your eyes.”

Sakura winks. That’s how you know it’s as serious as it gets; Miyawaki Sakura doesn’t know how to wink. If it’s worth her practice and time, you’re in for the real thing.

You shut your eyes as she asked, and let her lead you to the bed. Your excitement chains your throat that you can’t even ask her if she’s done. Rely on your sense of hearing to figure out what’s going on.

It feels like hours waiting for her surprise. The bed is soft beneath you, but you’d rather have Sakura’s tight body under you instead. Your pants are tight already. Reminding yourself that she’d be ready in a few does nothing to satiate your restlessness.

“Sakura,” you say with a kidding husk that intimidates her nevertheless, “don’t keep me waiting.”

“I-I’m not!”

The thumps and gasps of struggle become less frequent. Your hands frisk impatiently at your sides. What exactly is she planning?

“Open your eyes now!”

Finally.

Once you see her, you’re met with the thought that confirms you that, like Sakura said, you’ll come inside, just in another way.

Your nickname for Sakura is sweet, but you can’t deny the lewdness it takes now that it represents itself in front of you.

Her white crop top was replaced with a sleeveless brown one. It ought to be impossible for a crop top to be any more revealing, but that’s proved wrong when this one barely hides the underside of her chest, even giving the top of it a wide peek. Worst of all (but you can’t deny that it’s the best thing you’ve ever seen): there’s a cartoon cat-shaped hole in the middle of it that exposes even more skin. It’s more of a bra rather than a shirt at this rate. But you’d argue that actual bras aren’t this provocative. And you’d argue that you don’t mind—not even a little bit, not even at all.

All of her is on display: her midriff, her arms and pits, her legs, everything. Then you have her skirt that’s the definition of short. It’s a pathetic attempt at modesty and a great exercise of lewdness. Its length allows you a view of her inviting pussy.

It isn’t a secret that you love her hair, and now you’re in a position in which your adoration for it grows. You’re blameless, especially when it’s banded into two twintails joined behind a headband of black cat ears.

But the highlight of it all is that black collar rounding her neck. It awaits a connected leash, a driven purpose.

Tonight, Miyawaki Sakura isn’t just your girlfriend. She’s your pet—your gorgeous, little kitten in heat.

You knew it. Sakura’s been scheming and planning this, and now the surprise is all ready. She’s all ready for your using and taking.

“What a naughty girl you are, Sakura,” you murmur, getting up.

She cowers. “Just wanted to give you a reward for working hard.” Her paws float to her cheeks. “And… I really want to be your pet. Your pretty little pet.”

“You knew what I wanted all along, huh?”

Sakura hums helplessly while she peeks from the spaces between her fingers. Her palms do a poor job of hiding her red skin. She’s both excited and shy about this, and she’s not sure where to settle. But she’s sure of the heat that sparks between her legs when you trace your touch from her jawline to her chin, where you gently lift. Your gaze is so intense that she flinches.

“Well,” you say, bringing her eyes back to you, “what should I do about it?”

“Do what you want to me, master.”

From day one, a cat is what she reminds you of. Although she’s the eldest in her friend group with Chaewon and Yunjin, she’s still a kitten inside needing appreciation from her master. Maybe she saw in you too a master that would fit her needs well, who’d see her cute self as someone who’s also tantalizingly beautiful.

Today, you’re letting that come to life.

“Give me the leash. I know you prepared one.”

She blushes. “Of course, master.” She rises from her kneeled position to retrieve it.

Strike her ass that peeks roundly from beneath the hem of her skirt. Her cheeks bounce at the impact. As an effect, her legs shake, too. Her yelp is cute yet it sends a rush of happiness to the wrong place.

“Bad kitten. Kittens like you don’t walk on two legs.”

“Sorry, master.”

Sakura’s now red ass is presented to you as she crawls on all fours to the corner of the room while you step out of your slacks. You could tell she gets off to the humiliation—her slit’s been dripping all over her thighs.

The black device is dark compared to her gold collar. She picks it up with her mouth and crawls back to you. That’s right. Even if her knees burn and her hands turn red, a kitten will always crawl on command for her master.

She looks adorable with her face all sweaty from the effort. Doesn’t matter; she’ll be rewarded for it eventually.

You click the leash on. She meows appreciatively. How is it possible that an odd sound unfit for a woman like her gets you hard? You tap your lap, and she crawls up onto it. She never loses her act as a kitten.

“Fast learner.” With her stomach down, you’re able to touch her ass and cunt freely. Most cats like being petted on their backs, but yours would much rather have your hand on her cunt. Actually, you could touch her anywhere and still be met with a gush of arousal between her slim thighs. “What treat do you want for that?”

Sakura’s legs squirm together. You’d never grow tired of hearing her whimpering, but you strike her ass again. You’re a kind master, not a lenient one.

“I said: what treat do you want?”

“Want my master to eat my slutty catgirl pussy out…” she murmurs.

Why not?

You lift Sakura’s weightless body from your lap and drag her up the bed. In spite of her slight choking, you tug harder. At least this time she has the soft mattress under her knees rather than the cold floor. But good pets need training to become what they are.

Tie the leash in a harsh knot on one of the poles. Sakura’s still whimpering. You know she wants this treat so badly. Consequently: push her down. Spread her legs. There’s no gentleness here. Her skirt isn’t a problem when it’s length is miniscule. You’re free to eat her out as harshly as possible.

“Oh, oh, master!” Sakura’s gasps are loud despite the earliness of it all. She rolls the silky bedclothes in balls, trying to cope with your licking. It’s like you’ve reversed roles and you became the kitten that licked at her for supplement, just without the submissiveness. Either way, her senses immediately live for it and strive to get more.

Stick your tongue inside that addicting little hole. Your lips brush Sakura’s pussy lips, leaving open kisses on it. She’s so sensitive that a long, hard swipe of your tongue along her slit would have her nearly cumming. You were sure about that even before you tested it out.

Your saliva and her juices connect. Hard to tell one from the other when you’re tonguefucking her and dragging all those delicious nectar out. It spills on her thighs, which you don’t see as a problem if you could lick it all up. You’re glad to have it stain your mouth as you kiss away at her inner thighs, then return to eating her out.

You plunge your tongue deep. Its tip flicks at her walls and sets a fire inside her. No amount of natural lubrication could keep it from burning. The magic of your mouth can be cruel and blissful at the same time.

“Fuck! Keep eating me, your tongue, holy shit—”

Sakura gags after her attempt in lifting her head is restricted by the leash. The length you tied it at is too short for her to watch you or even react with a movement. It’s exactly what you want; exactly what she wants, too. The pain is mutually desired but so is the pleasure.

You spit on her cunt. “Did I say you get to order me around?” you ask.

Sakura shakes her head, yet another action the leash prevents her from performing properly.

“That’s what I thought. All I want to hear is your moans. Is that understood, kitten?”

“Yes! Ah, fffuck!”

Dive back in. If you weren’t full from Sakura’s amazing cooking earlier on, then you’re fed well with her pussy. You’re no pretentious dieter—you eat her pussy without shame. Perhaps you lick more than you can swallow with how she’s so sensitive and keeps leaking everywhere. Your tongue pushes and pulls from inside her orifice while your upper lip attends to her clit. Despite not having it in your mouth, you feel it pulsing.

You watch Sakura’s flat tummy rise and rest while you have your way with her. Measure its tempo. You’ve determined she’s close, if her thighs shivering around your head weren’t enough indicators. Jerk them to you and listen (if the hold of her thighs allows you) to the wonderful sounds of her strangled moaning.

“Hahk, oh god, please!”

Much to her disappointment, your fingers are only used to part her pussy lips rather than fuck her. But she’s happier with you licking wild lines on her velvety walls. It seems like your mouth could reach everything. Sakura starts to tremble more. It’s a warning, a not-safe-for-work sticker placed on an explicit track.

“Kitten’s c-cumming, I can’t hold it!” sobs your pet, unable to take any more. Her upper body joins in on the quivering, and you can see the delightful view of her tiny boobs bouncing from behind her top.

What’s next is the suction on her clit. You’ve saved suckling on it for now when she’s at her high. It’s a tested and proven method to amplify her orgasm. Once your lips seal at her clitoris, she lets out screams that almost sound like yowls. Her clawed fingernails start to scratch at your head. You’ll punish her for that later. Currently, you’ll focus on making her cream.

“Master, d-do me harder… master, master!”

The last of her orgasm subsides. That’s your cue to unfasten the leash from the headboard and pull the collar up. Sakura makes a weak, fragile sound that stirs a mixture of heat in your loins.

“No. Kittens don’t make the rules for their owners, do they, pet?”

Her beautiful face shows guilt, but no regrets. You expected that. “Sorry,” she says quietly.

One would think she must have watched and taken notes from a lot of “tutorial” videos for her nuances—folding her hands, looking up at you with flinching eye contact, squirming—to be this pet-like (you know you have). But she’s just a natural catgirl, and she likes being used like this. The glint in her eyes can’t be mistaken for the lighting in the room.

Grip her collar tighter. “Do you expect me to reward bad behavior?”

“No.”

“Then get on all fours on the bed. I’m not letting up on you.”

Sakura is a little too happy to do as you say. However, you’re certain she isn’t prepared for the onslaught of lust about to be taken out on her.

You observe Sakura’s beautiful back. The line running down the center shows the hours she spent in the gym to work hard on it. It looks prettier with the thin crossing straps of the top running over it. Now your fingers are, too. You can trace Sakura’s shudders, right from her collared neck to her skirted ass.

Raise your hand high in the air, then slap her supple butt. While you’d tell her it’s to punish her, you think it’s just to hear her moan. It's a carnal instinct. Maybe you’re the animal here with your acts of nature. Doesn’t sound right; whether you slap or caress or pinch her, she’s the ever-loving pet. You notice it in the buckle of her knees and the hot breath that leaves her mouth.

Sakura is a cat through and through, but you still like to fuck her doggy style.

“Ma-master,” she says upon the first few thrusts. She winces, then cries out a pathetic mewl, then repeats herself. This time, it’s tinier, needier: “Master, please.”

The innocently designed mirror in her room reflects back anything but innocent doings. You watch her face twist and whine in its glass. Sakura’s eyes meet yours and she’s turning red again. You didn’t take her for a red foreign cat. You see her more as a black cat.

She’s not so unlucky when she’s providing you this much tightness.

“Please what?” you chuckle. Your rhythm’s already cruel. “Gonna ask for more? Less? No, pet. You’re getting fucking punished.”

She’d definitely ask for more. Her sex drive is more of that of a rabbit than a kitten. Her wet pussy is so drenched that it makes squelching sounds in response to your hips. And, because you’re weak for her—a sucker for anything she wants—you give it to her harder.

Instead of grabbing her hips to pump, you’re using the leash. Sakura has to keep herself steady to stop her head from throwing back. It’s inevitable when your member pulls her apart and makes her take what she used to think she couldn’t. The collar’s already making fine lines on her neck.

“Punish me, I’ll be a good kitten and obey you, I promise,” she says. Your thrusts get sloppier; her words do as well. “A-ahh, will take your cock any time of the day, on my knees, on the bed, however you like, master.”

God, the thoughts Sakura puts in your head. They’ll seriously put you at risk one day. Picturing her in those positions—on her knees sucking away at your length; on the bed like this with her cat ears frisking to and fro; and however you like, which means everything—impels you to stuff your rock hard dick in her with a might that shocks even you. See, you can do surprises, too.

“Really now?” Yank. In response, she gasps. Her headband almost falls off. Make the uncharacteristic move as a dominant master to slide it back on.

Sakura nods mindlessly. You know she’s wordlessly telling the truth. She deserves a good squeeze on her perfect tits for the dedication.

But you raise the stakes. How far can she go as your pet? How far can you go as her master?

“Even if you don’t get to cum when you want?”

It’s laughable how Sakura immediately whines. Looks like her love for your cock is conditional. To make it harder for her, you start to couple your swift pumps with a finger on her clit. One rub, two rubs, and three—you might as well be counting sheep with how her eyes close.

That sets her off. Your pet begins to shout. She’s never been a girl to talk excessively. Now, it’s the opposite; she babbles and cries and sobs like her life depends on it. For the record, her bliss does, but it’s nowhere as close to her life.

It’s starting to look like it though. Sakura’s frenzied actions consist of pushing her core back to you, filling herself up with your cock even if the leash is there to pull her to you, and repeating your title. She fills the pretty, well-furnished bedroom with the dirtiest sounds unapologetically. If your abandoned clothes on the floor had ears, they’d be deaf by now. Hell, you’re surprised you aren’t.

Her pussy gets messier with each pump. Your tip kissing her deepest parts grants you several gushes of need. They fall onto the mattress, their stains becoming a task for later. Your only wish at this moment is to fuck Sakura to her wits’ end.

“I need to cum, master,” she says. The alarm in her voice could be mistaken as a warning for a fire or an emergency.

Does she really? You’re not quite sure of that. Continue to give out your punishment. Fuck her like she’s a catgirl who’d die if you didn’t. Redden her unblemished skin with bruises and marks of your hand. Her hole’s splashing with wetness, and you’re starting to get really close yourself.

She’s starting to slump. Tears from her eyes blot the white sheets underneath your bodies. “Cum, please, I need to…”

One of the final tugs of her leash for the night. With her back to your chest and your mouth next to her ear, you ask her a question that won’t determine her climax. Knowing you, even if she answers wrong, you’re still letting her cream deliciously all over your girth.

“Are you my good kitten?” you rasp in her ear.

“Yes!” she instantly replies.

Scoff. “No, you aren’t.”

You firmly rub her clit while bottoming out in her. Sakura’s throat is sore from screaming although it’s far from the last time she’ll do it.

“You’re not a good kitten when all you want to do is fuck your master instead of obeying him. You just want me to fuck you in every part of the house, fill you over and over. You’re the bad thing who wanted to be my pet. So what are you, Sakura?”

Sakura’s hole squeezes you as hard as her collar chokes her neck. Sizable tits bouncing, mouth agape, hands curled on her collar, she replies in the form of another scream.

“A, a bad little kitten, master! His property and plaything, the one he makes cum over and over! So please, master, let me!”

Good answer. “Cum.”

“Ohhhh!”

Sakura would have collapsed on the bed if it weren’t for your hold on her. Her body weakens and fails. The bed is flooded with her climax. Hearing her normally quiet voice reach this level of highness and whininess is an otherworldly experience. Eke more out of her; you’re pumping slowly but surely. Let it possess great impact but measured pace.

“You okay, pet?” you ask gently.

Sakura’s delicious, tight body trembles in its lingerie. Her breaths are short and sporadic. Through it all, there’s a satisfied smile on her face as she nods. It relieves you of the thought that you unknowingly might have gone too far.

“Why didn’t you cum inside me?”

“Good pets get bred, Sakura.”

“Since when did you legit care about me being a good pet?” she laughs.

“Ever since I thought you’d like to drink your ‘milk’ instead.”

Sakura bites her lip. It’s deadlier when she’s wearing that sultry cat lingerie. Your cock remains stiff seeing it.

“Oh, master.” She smiles. “I have the perfect place.”

The Kitty Corner. Not Kitty Korner, for alliteration’s sake, but the Kitty Corner. Cats have favorite places: a shoe, a fluffy tower, the sofa. Sakura is no different. This place, which is the corner of this room, is where she likes it best. It’s no different from any other room corner save for the plushies that line up on the wall. She likes it pressed against it, on the floor, whatever. But she loves it when she has her head pressed against the corner while you fuck away at her mouth.

This is the first time it’s been given a name, and the first time you’re fucking her to it as her master. You tried to be slow in taking her there, as if you weren’t all that excited. But your drag on her leash betrayed your real emotions.

Once Sakura is in position, her tongue sticks out. She must have forgotten that she’s a kitten, not a puppy. That won’t stop you from sliding yourself inside her warm mouth.

It begins. You rub your cock on her tongue before welcoming it in the hollow of her mouth. Like her pussy, her inviting mouth is wet and ready. Sakura tastes herself on your dick. She licks away at everything: the remnants of her orgasm from under it, your cockhead, your base. It’s not even her milk yet, but her eyes light up.

“Be good,” you warn. “No biting.”

Her lips lift into a smirk. Then, you feel her teeth graze ever so lightly on you.

At first, you were content to get yourself off in her mouth. You could have chosen to rub your tip on the flat of her tongue or the inside of her cheek. But now, you give out another punishment. You ram your length down her throat. Training doesn’t help her avoid gagging for she does it anyway. Now her eyes light up in surprise, too.

“M-mmm!”

“Warned you, kitten,” you say with a laugh.

With only your hand on the back of her head to protect it, you start to fuck Sakura’s throat. Her gagging only gives more tightness that seals around you. Her airway is shut and it’ll be that way for a long time unless she behaves.

Sakura can’t even cough or say anything. It’s painful pleasure with her thighs squirming to give her a little bliss, and your cock not allowing her even a moment to breathe. You’re not even tugging her anymore—you’re putting all the force in shoving yourself inside her, as if you had little time to spare.

Her tongue wiggles about in an attempt for air, but as if you couldn’t be more cruel with your training, you close her mouth shut. You warned her, and she still decided to disobey.

Her lost breaths warm your cock. Push them back to her throat. This kitten needs to learn her lesson, even if it requires another.

As if she couldn’t get any lewder, Sakura’s last resort is to mount the leg of her favorite puppy plushie, the one you gifted her. You bet that the manufacturers didn’t know that its use was for her own little pleasure, to serve as a place to grind until the blissful torture ends. She grinds forward and you’re welcomed further in her throat. There’s no escape. Does she even want an escape?

You can feel spurts of air from her nostrils. She’s getting close. This punishment isn’t even a punishment if presented with how her nipples stick out that hard from beneath the fabric, how she’s riding the toy’s leg, how she licks still and all. Her only signs of resistance are her palms on your thighs.

“Thirsty, pet?”

Sakura squeezes her eyes shut, grinds harder, and nods. Her sigh is the closest thing to a verbal response.

“Then have your milk.”

It’s only then that you loosen your grip on her head. You release inside of her mouth and give her the milk she deserves. There’s plenty of it to go around, but it’s all for her. Only for her.

But letting go of her causes her to collapse. Her knees trip over nothing and send her falling onto her plush. The cum spills down Sakura’s chest and midriff like an explicit rainfall. She gasps for air, torn between trying to swallow the cum and catching her breath.

At least there’s the puppy plushie to embrace her.

A kitten and a puppy.

How ironic.

You kneel down to her level and raise her chin. You’d say she wasted her milk, but she’s Sakura. Nothing is gone to waste if it’s her, especially if it makes her look so beautiful. Dazed eyes, tired parted lips, and panting painted tummy.

Beautiful.

Yep, she’s beautiful.

“Are you a good kitten?”

“Yes?” she asks hopefully, exhaustedly.

“Of course not.” You pat her head. Still your little pet. “You’re the best.”

913 notes · View notes

jensettermandu · 5 days

Text

tongue tied - kim chaewon , huh yunjin

genre; fluff (a lot of it), angst, high school au, sfw

pairing; chaewon x female reader x yunjin

content; a lot of pining, mentions of injuries, soccer and cheer-leading but there's no need for any knowledge of the sports, mentions of insecurities and anxiety, idk there's nothing more to warn about; it's sfw

synopsis; it's the last year of high school, the girls' soccer team is on a roll and the cheer team wins yet another elite competition. it seems as if things cannot get any better for the girls, however, love is never easy, especially when the captain of the soccer team, huh yunjin, is in love with her best friend who she is too afraid to lose to make a move on. that is until her new team/schoolmate, kim chaewon, shows interest in the cheerleader and sometimes all that's needed is a final push to take a leap of faith before it’s too late.

wc; 25.9k+ words (the plan was to make it much shorter...sorry)

songs; bad habit - steve lacy , ditto - newjeans , things i'll never say - avril lavigne , to love - suki waterhouse , what would i do? - strawberry guy

masterlist

“And lastly…” The girl trailed off as they took the last few steps between the high bleachers, the sun momentarily blinding them as the big field that was filled came into view. The voices echoed through the space with shouts, cheers and whistles being blown. “This is the field where we hold pep rallies, events, games, practice et cetera.” She explained, gesturing towards the green grass that didn’t look real from the strong colour it carried, shining as it looked watered.

Chaewon’s eyes scanned the bleachers behind her where a couple of students were sitting, looking around and over the green field. Jimin–the girl who showed her around school this morning–pointed towards the girls who were in white shorts and light blue jerseys.

“There is the girls' soccer team, we have a boys' team too. Both play in the state championship this year to try and get into nationals again,” she continued to explain. “We have basketball, swimming, water polo, table tennis, track–” Her gaze shifted where Jimin pointed towards the other side of the field.

“And a cheerleading team as you can see, however, they are a level seven team that competes on an elite level.” Chaewon felt herself flinch at the three girls who were flung into the air, making her squint her eyes to see better as the sun was blinding her. She had seen cheerleading before at her previous school, but not as advanced as this team looked.

“What was that?” She asked as the three girls fell back down, being caught by the guys who were their bases.

“Uhm, kick-kick double basket,” Jimin replied seemingly having the stuff memorised.

“And who’s that?” Chaewon continued to ask, subtly pointing with her head towards the girl in the middle with a single base under her this time, doing a heel stretch.

“That’s Y/n, the captain, a talented flyer and tumbler, just generally good at cheerleading.”

“Oh wow.” Jimin hummed at Chaewon who continued to watch the cheerleading team, fully enthralled by what was going on.

After a good minute of the two girls looking at the team doing baskets and other stunts, Jimin spoke up, realising that she still had to help the new girl out a little bit more before getting to watch her friends’ morning practice.

“So, are you interested in any of the teams? Have you done anything? Swimming? Table tennis? Track?” She questioned.

Chaewon took one last glance at the girls and guys from the cheer team before she walked with Jimin. Her eyes fell on the soccer team that was in the middle of a practice game against each other.

“I was part of the soccer team.” The shorter girl mentioned as they walked along the empty track field, hands in the pockets of her jeans to occupy them with something. Her eyes followed the ball that was passed around, the callouts of the girls being incoherent to her ears from far away.

“Any good?”

Chaewon hummed, nodding her head as she looked away from the field and at Jimin. She took pride in her soccer skills as she had played for as long as she had walked. “Captain and starting striker.” It was enough to shine through her little shell whenever soccer was mentioned and she could go on for days talking about it and how much she loves playing.

“Well, I’m not sure if you will make it into the starting lineup now that the season has started, but I can talk to Yunjin.”

It was unfortunate that her family had to suddenly move to another city a month into her senior year. It was unexpected, but Chaewon couldn’t argue about it and so her fate brought her here. She had to settle in and try to fit in too which usually wasn’t a problem, however, this was the last year of high school and people were bound to already have their close friends.

“Yunjin?” Her head tilted at the name and Jimin nodded her head as she proceeded to explain.

“The captain and current starting striker. She will talk to you and the coach.”

“Oh.” She gave a curt nod, knowing already that to have the spot she used to have on her old team she would have to work for it in the new environment. Chaewon was sure of her skills in the end even if the season had already started, she couldn’t stay benched for all of it.

“That’s her,” Jimin said as the whistle blew, pointing towards the girl who ran across the field and away from the rest of the team.

“Ew, ew, ew, ew.”

“Ew?” Yunjin confusedly questioned, her eyebrows furrowing, but her grip on the petite girl stayed as she had her arms wrapped around her from behind.

“You’re all sweaty, Jen.” Y/n cried out, trying to squirm out of the girl's hold.

Yunjin huffed and let go of Y/n, the shorter girl turned on her heels and gave her a small shove against her chest to have her step back. The ginger grumbled and pulled up the hem of her jersey to wipe away any remaining sweat on her face after practice. The second the whistle blew and she was dismissed she grabbed her stuff and ran over to the cheer team.

“Stop flexing your tummy for everyone.” Yunjin groaned as her stomach was smacked and she let go of her shirt. Her eyes back on the cheerleader who cringed as the captain's stomach was just as sweaty. The ginger clicked her tongue and grabbed Y/n’s hand to wipe it with her shirt.

“God, you’re so dramatic.” She commented, her eyes stuck on Y/n’s face as the girl smiled at her, it was enough to make the corners of Yunjin’s lips lift too. It was as if she was struck by something from nowhere, everything inside her stomach started to shift and she felt giddy. It was her source of energy because it would always surge through her whenever she looked at Y/n; she considered the girl her lucky charm.

Her eyes crinkled at how good it felt; her best friend was the best feeling in the world.

“Don’t you just love it when I am?” Y/n questioned with an eloquent grin as she knew the answer.

Yunjin could feel her face heat up with her own words as Y/n picked up her gym bag after pulling away from the taller girl. “I tend to love everything about your annoying self.” She commented, her heart picking up like it always did when she said these things to Y/n. It made her nervous and Y/n’s replies only made her more flustered and she found herself digging through all the signs to understand if it was what she hoped it was.

“You’re my favourite person,” hearing that from Y/n always brightened not only her day but her soul which could at times fall into a gloom of insecurities.

Yunjin was the captain of the soccer team and had been for the past three years which resulted in a lot of faith being put on her, trusting her sportsmanship and leadership, especially during soccer season. The team, the school, the coach, her friends and family, and people on the bleachers all counted on the team and it was her job to make sure they worked as a team. Any errors always gnawed at her and made her doubt her skill as a captain.

She knew that she wasn’t the only one who was under a lot of pressure, the girl who clung to her arm as they waited for the rest of their friends was under just as much pressure. All her friends were, but she could only find solace in one person and one person only: Y/n. Yunjin could open up about anything to her, tell her everything–almost everything–because she knew that Y/n would be there for her as she had been there since middle school, sixth grade.

Along the way that trust and adoration seemed to evolve into more, but how couldn’t it? Y/n was everything Yunjin dreamed of and she had never dreamed of more than soccer. It wasn’t like she had a picture of a dream partner or life before, but after she met Y/n and with years that went by and when high school started, she understood what it meant for a dream to get built around a person. Her dream was soccer and she built it around Y/n as each choice she made involved thoughts of her best friend.

When high school started she realised what it meant to build her dreams around a person. It meant to be in love.

“Who’s that with Jimin?” Y/n diverted the conversation she was having with Yunjin, placing her chin on the taller girl’s shoulder as she stood on her toes, arms wrapped around the ginger’s waist. It felt warm, but not the kind of warm Yunjin felt from the sun and running around on the field; it was the type that brewed on the inside like a fireplace that warmed up a home.

She hummed and her eyes searched the field until they landed on Jimin walking along the running track with a girl she hadn’t seen before. “I don’t know…” She trailed off, her eyes squinted the slightest to try to see if she maybe did recognise the girl, but she didn’t. Yunjin squirmed at the ticklish feeling when Y/n blew air against her ear, the girl giggling as she let go of the ginger who turned.

Before she could utter a single word, Y/n grabbed her hand and tugged it so she would walk with her. “Zuha–” She called for the cheerleader who was packing up the last of her stuff before turning to the two. Y/n received a hum from her friend as Yunjin let herself be dragged after her. “Did you hear anything about the girl Jimin is with?” The shorter girl questioned, gesturing with her head towards the girl in question.

“Nope, I don’t remember her mentioning anything.” Kazuha, one of the tumblers on the team, replied as she walked over to the two. All three turned back around and looked at the two.

“That’s the new girl.” Their attention was torn away from the two as they looked at the guy who was one of the bases, Yeonjun.

“There’s someone new starting?” Yunjin questioned, confused by the guy’s words. She frowned, her thumb smoothing over Y/n’s knuckles as she tried to figure out why someone would change schools in their senior year. Not to mention, school started a month ago.

“Well, she’s not here to just look at the school.” Yunjin rolled her eyes at the guy’s mordant remark as it was obvious.

“We’re going to be late for bio,” Yujin exhaled after she ran across the field with her soccer gear to them.

Yunjin looked at the time on her phone as she leaned against the wall outside the locker rooms after getting changed. “You’re not coming?” Yujin questioned as she walked out of the girls’ soccer team's locker, fixing the bag on her shoulder.

“I will be there–” She was cut off as the girl waved her off, passing by her.

“Yeah, you want to walk with Y/n, don’t be too late.” She dismissed and Yunjin rolled her eyes at the second striker who walked away.

The girl wasn’t one to break her routines, not the ones with Y/n at least. All classes started in around eight minutes and Y/n’s physics class was right on the way to bio. Yunjin picked at her nails as she waited for the girl, thinking of her day as she tried to plan what she would do after school. It all consisted of soccer and Y/n as she either would practise by staying behind at school or would leave with Y/n to spend time.

She sighed as she hated the way time always went by so slowly without the cheerleader, but Yunjin couldn’t help but also hate how fast it went by with Y/n there. It was almost as if it wasn’t enough, 24 hours of the day weren’t enough for her with the girl and she had a feeling it would never be.

The thoughts of the girl raced in her head, making her heart race too as they always ended with her trying to think of ways to let Y/n know. How it would be if she spilled what more laid behind her as she loved Y/n more than a best friend. How it would be once Y/n would hear these words that ran deeper than adoration and how good it would feel when she would hear those same things leave Y/n’s lips. It made her smile as she continued to pick at her fingers and she tried to contain it to not look stupid, but she was a fool for her best friend and Yunjin didn’t mind it one bit.

However, her stomach would always turn inside out at the thought of the opposite happening if she told Y/n the truth about what coursed through her veins when she was with her. The thoughts of rejection, loss, longing, and dreams being shattered. Yunjin couldn’t afford the loss of someone alive because it would be too painful, and Y/n would be too painful to lose.

Then came the thoughts of rejection, but not losing her best friend either way because she knew Y/n better than that. The girl wouldn’t leave her simply because Yunjin was in love with her, but there was a possibility that she wouldn’t return the feelings. Those thoughts seemed to tie the biggest knots around her heart; the thoughts of Y/n not feeling the same, to begin with even if she wouldn’t put distance between them after.

Yunjin was stuck on the belief that Y/n was in love with her whether that was true or not, it didn’t matter. It was what made her heart content; thinking about silently being in love with each other and not taking the step–the silent agreement of loving and not finding anyone else even if they didn’t take the step to be more than silent lovers.

Of course, Yunjin dreamed of more, but she could settle on skinny love as long as it was Y/n.

Those giggles, smiles, eyes, Y/n’s voice, words, lips, the girl’s heart and soul; it was all more than enough for her in a silent agreement of loving each other but never confessing it out loud.

She was too scared to say those words out loud because, at the back of her head, she knew that there was a possibility that maybe she was wrong about it all. The thought alone was enough to keep her words at bay to not have to face the possible reality of being the only one.

“You’re looking all cute again.” Yunjin looked up, scrunching up her nose to rid herself of the smile that had stitched itself on her face while she waited. Y/n smiled and grabbed the girl by the hem of her hoodie, tugging at it and making the taller girl walk with her.

“I like your jacket,” the ginger complimented as she had on the school varsity jacket that held Yunjin’s name and number, being oversized on Y/n’s petite body.

“It’s from my favourite closet.” The smile came right back onto Yunjin’s lips as she looked over Y/n who was in her jacket. The cheerleader walked closer to Yunjin and grabbed hold of her arm, wrapping it around her shoulders as they walked through the hallway to head for their lockers and then to class.

“Do you have any plans after school?”

“You didn’t ask me to hang out yet so no.” Yunjin chuckled at Y/n’s words, giving the girl a light shove as they approached the girl’s class.

“I will wait by my car after classes end.” She settled.

“Yeah, I will see you at lunch…You’re going to be late.” Y/n showed her lock screen to Yunjin, her eyes first landing on the wallpaper that was her during one of their late-night Facetime calls before seeing that class started in four minutes.

“I don’t care,” the captain tried to stay nonchalant about it, wishing to spend at least a few more minutes or at least seconds with the girl. She knew that the next time she looked at the clock four minutes would already have passed because it didn’t wait around when they were with each other. Yunjin needed some more time to prepare for the next two classes without Y/n who would feel like they dragged on for ages even if she had their other friends to keep company.

“You do,” she watched as Y/n turned on her heels as they stood outside the open door to the classroom. The girl pressed it as Yunjin tried to keep her attendance in check because bad attendance and grades meant no soccer.

“I really don’t.”

“I can bet that the second I walk inside I will hear you run.” Y/n teased and Yunjin looked away at that, licking her lips.

“No, I won’t, but you should head inside since class starts soon.”

“Or I should head inside so you can hurry and not be late?” The ginger looked back at Y/n who was looking up at her with a wide smile, tongue poking at her canine before she bit her lower lip. It made Yunjin take in a breath as she felt her heart tumble down onto the floor for Y/n again as she couldn’t help but fall every time; waiting for Y/n to pick it up and carry it the way she would carry the girl’s.

Oh, how proudly she would carry Y/n’s heart if she had it; Yunjin would take care of it as if her life depended on it because it did. Her happiness depended on Y/n’s happiness.

“No, I don’t care about being late.”

“Sure, Jen,” Y/n giggled and wrapped her free hand around Yunjin’s waist to hug her before they parted ways. The captain without question returned the hug as her arm draped around Y/n’s shoulders. That sweet flowery scent invaded her and she loved it; the most when the cheerleader left it to linger in her bedroom after they hung out. It brought her the same type of comfort that her home did, Y/n was her home.

“I will see you at lunch.” The shorter girl hummed and tilted her head to look up at Yunjin while pulling away to leave a kiss on the girl's warm cheek before giving her a small push so she would let go.

“You’re about to be late for real,” Y/n commented while Yunjin watched the girl walk inside, her eyes widening and bringing her out of the daydream that Y/n was before bolting through the hallway.

Chaewon had never been one to silently sit alone and away from everyone in a classroom, but she couldn’t help but feel intimidated. She wasn’t one to approach either because of her shy nature. All those friends she had made as a kid were back in her hometown. It felt different now that she was in 12th grade compared to middle school or lower. It didn’t feel as easy to approach someone.

Slowly she was coming to terms that she would possibly spend her senior year alone at the back of the class. It was her pessimistic and despair-filled side talking as it appeared stronger ever since she was told that they were moving to a new city.

Her last hope was the soccer team, but even that felt like a far reach as the friendships maybe wouldn’t go outside the field. Everyone already had their friends and she now felt like an outcast for being new so late into high school.

It wasn’t fair and she hated it.

She picked at her nails, staring down at them while trying to bury the nerves and anxiety of a new place. The sound of new laughter made her look up as the classroom was loud the whole time and the teacher had yet to arrive. Her eyes landed at the entrance of the classroom, she caught a glimpse of that orange hair she had seen on the field earlier as the soccer captain was hugging the cheer captain.

She found herself staring, eyes glued to the cheerleader who stepped inside the class with a smile. Chaewon shivered, assuming it was from the cold table under her bare forearms as she pursed her lips, fighting the urge to let a small smile form on her lips. Y/n was too pretty and her smile didn’t look like it should be ignored without smiling back, but then again, Chaewon was invincible and would stay invincible until the end of the year.

Y/n wasn’t looking her way, she was talking to a few girls at the front.

It wasn’t like Chaewon knew the girl, but it already made her think about how much she would possibly miss out on if she didn’t get the courage to talk to someone. Maybe not the cheer captain right away, but anyone. It would be sombre to be alone during the whole senior year.

The bell rang and she watched as everyone proceeded to take seats in the chairs that were still empty while the teacher entered. It made her wince at how the chairs screeched along the floors, the chatter turning into hushed whispers as the man at the front put his stuff down.

“Looks like your seat is at the back today, Y/n, maybe we will go through a class without talking since it’s next to Kim Chaewon, our new student.” His words were followed by small giggles and Y/n who clicked her tongue.

Chaewon felt herself get breathless at the panic she felt of people suddenly noticing her after being a ghost at the back. She had no clue what to do so she avoided gazes that were on her all while suddenly feeling too warm in her clothes.

She could feel that her face was red. Or maybe it wasn’t? Now she was panicking over whether she looked anxious or not. Her heart rate increased, pounding against her ribcage so harshly it made her feel weak. Was she going to have a panic attack in front of everyone on her first day? It was starting to muffle her ears and her fists clenched as they were clammy now.

Chaewon’s wide eyes gazed around the classroom as the girl sat down beside you, the scent of sweet flowers managed to cloud her, pulling her away from the anxiety and grounding her. The class went almost completely silent, the hushed whispers even more faint now as the teacher started to talk. She tried to calm herself down before it got worse.

“Where did you transfer from?” Heat ran across Chaewon’s back when the girl beside her spoke up after a few minutes of the lecture, everyone too engulfed to take notice of them at the back.

She parted her lips, suddenly not remembering where she grew up before she managed to push an answer from her throat with a slight quiver. “Austin, Texas.” Chaewon cleared her throat and swallowed, subtly glancing over at the girl beside her who was looking at the front. It sounded stale and she was afraid that she ruined her only chance to make friends.

“That’s far—” It was, it truly was far as she now lived in Long Island, New York. She looked to the side, her eyes meeting Y/n’s and she held her breath for a second as she hadn’t expected the girl to be looking back at her, not with those intense eyes. Chaewon couldn’t hold eye contact, her gaze faltering onto the table. “I assume that it kind of sucks to move, especially in your last year.”

“It’s–Yeah, it does suck.” She couldn’t help but admit to how much it sucked. It felt alienating and a big part of her was still pessimistic about this change and another still held some resentment towards her parents even if it wasn’t their fault that her mother got transferred to the new job.

Y/n hummed at that, the girl unable to stop casting glances at the cheerleader, constantly picking up on her features with each glance cast at her. Her nerves eased, but new ones appeared as she was sitting beside a pretty girl who was talking to her with such ease it felt like they already knew each other.

There was a flow as Y/n continued to ask questions about her throughout the lesson–Chaewon realised what the teacher meant at the start, but she didn’t mind because suddenly all those doubts about her senior year disappeared.

Before she could take in a word the teacher said the class was over and her most dreaded day was slowly becoming one that wasn’t dragging along, but flying by.

“Okay, what does your schedule look like?” Y/n asked as everyone was gathering their stuff, the two girls taking their time and staying behind. Chaewon showed her phone to the girl where she had her schedule.

“We have physics, maths and P.E. together, you also have classes with some of my other friends–maths now and lunch after so…” Y/n trailed off and the girl got her phone handed back. Chaewon’s momentary confusion dissipated and she got the memo, grabbing her stuff to walk with the girl.

“I forgot to ask about her number and now she might as well be lost somewhere at school. I was supposed to introduce you two.” Jimin explained and Yunjin did her best to listen and indulge in the conversation after the new girl was brought up, but she was too busy waiting for Y/n to finally arrive at the canteen.

“Where’s Y/n?” She asked as the new girl hadn’t managed to pique her interest.

“Are you listening?” Jimin questioned.

“What does the new girl have to do with anything?” The ginger questioned, poking at the food with her fork. She had yet to meet her and she hadn’t listened to what Jimin was saying at all.

“You’re the soccer captain.”

“Yeah,” she confirmed, looking up at Jimin with a frown.

“It’s like talking to a wall.”

“Tell me about it,” Yujin commented, earning laughter from the other two at the table.

“You don’t think you could fix her a spot on the team?” This time Yunjin was listening and her frown deepened for a second.

“The season already started and we’re a full team,” it felt like a risk to take someone new onto the team when they had been playing together for months now, some even years.

“She said she was captain and starting striker in her previous school.” The girl beside her replied with a shrug.

“I–” The ginger didn’t get to reply as she got distracted by the three girls that were heading their way. There were just certain auras that drew people to them, Y/n and Kazuha were two people with that kind of aura, or maybe it was just Y/n since that was who Yunjin always found herself drawn to.

“Looks like she’s not lost at all,” Yeonjun commented, right beside Y/n was the new girl and Yunjin knew just how easy-going her best friend was. Anyone was able to be comfortable around her, all it took was a few words from Y/n and the person was lost, anticipating what she would say next. Yunjin knew that and she loved that.

Chaewon looked over at the four people at the table, that nervousness clouded her again as she had just been able to slowly crawl out of her shy shell around Y/n and somewhat with Kazuha. The eyes on her made her want to retract right back inside her shell of comfort and security.

She almost flinched at the hand that brushed over her before it grabbed gently hold of her wrist. The talking between all of them was still being processed as the girl was too busy looking around to avoid making eye contact first. She pursed her lips and held her breath at the nerves as the cheer captain pulled her over to the table.

“And this is Yunjin…” The cheer captain introduced everyone at the table, quickly making them acquainted.

For the first few minutes, Chaewon knew that she was mostly sitting in silence, unsure of what to say, however, she was more than thankful for Y/n who included her and worked as a mediator, especially between the two other girls–Yunjin and Yujin–who played soccer. At the back of her mind, Chaewon knew that she was enthralled by Y/n, feeling like she wouldn’t feel as welcomed and at ease if it hadn’t been for the girl. The girl was her only safe space in the huge school at the moment.

She quickly came to the realisation that she had been worrying too much and that maybe her senior year wouldn’t be too bad as she got along with both Yunjin and Yujin.

“What do you think about Chaewon?” Yunjin hummed at the question, her eyes trained on the screen of her phone that she was playing on. Y/n’s fingers continued to comb through her hair, making occasional small braids as she rested her head in the girl’s lap, lying in Yunjin’s bed.

There wasn’t much to think about, Yunjin was still getting to know the girl, but from today alone she had an answer that was good enough.

“She’s cool, I don’t know what I was expecting, but yeah, she’s chill.”

“You two seemed to get along with all your soccer talk.”

She glanced up at Y/n through her lashes, rolling her eyes at the teasing smile that rested on the girl’s pretty lips. Yunjin bit her lower lip for a second and looked back at her phone screen to finish up as she continued to talk,

“Whatever, it’s one of the things we have in common so far.”

“No matter how cool you think soccer makes you, you’re such a nerd about it.”

“Hey!” The ginger complained, turning her phone off and putting it on her nightstand as she sat up, turning to face Y/n who was leaning against the headboard.

“But in a good way, I love seeing that it makes you happy and keeps you passionate,” she watched the smile grow bigger on Y/n’s lips as the girl grabbed hold of the strings of her hoodie and tugged her closer.

Soccer did keep Yunjin passionate, but her best friend was yet another thing that kept her passionate; their friendship and Y/n were something she was utterly passionate about.

“I have the best support system known to man, consisting of my family, friends and most importantly you.” She told the truth and nothing else to her best friend, grabbing Y/n’s hands that were holding onto the strings of her hoodie, cupping them in hers and warming Y/n’s colder hands.

The cheer captain hummed at that. “Ditto.”

“So…What do you think about Chaewon? You seemed to get along.” Yunjin questioned, dropping her gaze onto their hands as Y/n was playing with her fingers, intertwining them and pressing their palms together as they sat facing each other. That smile was one the ginger couldn’t even fight, Y/n’s touch was soothing and spread a warmth through her that reminded her of home.

“She’s cute.”

One thing Yunjin hated was that she had grown so attached and used to Y/n and her being this one force of a silent agreement that these unelaborated comments made her stomach drop. The ginger knew that she shouldn’t be so sensitive, but each day she woke up with a fear that maybe the silent agreement was one-sided.

Each night she went to bed and woke up afraid that things would be different. What if someone took her place? Not as a best friend because she knew that was set in stone, but in this fantasy she hoped was true.

Yunjin pushed through it though as she knew better and knew how wrong it was to feel this way. “Cute?” She curiously asked, waiting for Y/n to elaborate, hoping Y/n didn’t find Chaewon cuter than her. Was ‘cute’ enough for Y/n to drop the silent agreement? The one Yunjin hoped was real.

“With how shy she is.”

She looked up at Y/n and nodded her head in understanding, familiar with Chaewon’s shy nature after today.

“You’re not gonna replace me, are you?”

“Oh my God, Yunjin.”

“Yunjin!?” The ginger let out in panic as her hands were dropped by Y/n who raised her eyebrows, giving her a once over with a judging look.

“Yes, Huh Yunjin,” Y/n confirmed with a click of her tongue, never calling her Yunjin because she had always been Jen to her.

“Stop it.” She complained, loving how Jen was the only thing Y/n called her and everyone else would call her Yunjin. It was like Y/n was the only one aware of her other name even if it wasn’t true. Everyone just silently agreed that Jen was reserved for Y/n.

“Why on earth would you ever even say that.”

“I’m just making sure,” she whined back at Y/n, but she knew that she didn’t have to, it was a joke because she knew that she would never be replaced as the girl’s best friend. That was why it was the least of her worries.

“I’m hurt–like actually hurt that you even have to make sure—” Her lips parted as Y/n was about to get up from the bed, Yunjin earning a huff of disbelief from the girl. “I think I’m gonna cry.”

“Now you’re being dramatic, come here.”

“No!” Yunjin laughed when Y/n yelped as she wrapped her arms around the girl’s waist after she had stood up from the bed. She pulled her back down, Y/n landing on top of her with her back, trying to wiggle out of Yunjin’s grip who continued to giggle at the poor attempts.

“I love you and know that you would never replace me in any way possible. You and I are forever like we promised in sixth grade.” She mumbled as Y/n heaved a sigh, the striker felt the girl give up and relax in her hold. Yunjin took the chance to bury her nose in Y/n’s hair as the girl rested her head on her shoulder, staring up at the white ceiling as a moment of silence fell between them.

“Yunjin…”

“Mm?” Yunjin pulled back and lifted her head only to flinch when Y/n turned around and flicked her forehead. “Ow–”

“Don’t joke like that again, I don’t want to think about it ‘cause it hurts to think about it.”

She pouted at those words as she sat up with Y/n sitting beside her, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I know some people can’t help the fact that they are stupid.” Y/n dismissed with a smile as she looked over her shoulder at Yunjin.

“Yeah, you’re walking tomorrow,”

“Who says I’m staying the night?”

“Me and I still pick you up even when you stay at home, now sleep.” The ginger demanded, pulling Y/n back down and reaching over for the bedside lamp.

“But I–” She shushed the girl, pushing her head back down on the pillow as the lights went out and she pulled the duvet over them.

“Goodnight, Y/n.” The girl beside her heaved a sigh and moved, Yunjin offering her arm as per usual, letting Y/n rest her head on her shoulder and hug her waist, knowing she couldn’t sleep without hugging something or someone.

“Goodnight, Jen,” Yunjin smiled at the name and hummed, the fear of being replaced when she woke up less present as the girl she loved fell asleep in her arms.

Chaewon realised that she had been too pessimistic, but the good thing was that she could change her views under the right circumstances where changing her perception would come in handy. Throughout the week she felt less and less dread for school when she went to bed and then woke up after being lucky enough to be found by Y/n on her first day. She felt welcomed and instantly accepted by the group without any tension.

Tuesday came and she felt her purpose start to sparkle again as she was accepted onto the soccer team even if it wasn’t in the starting lineup that was already set in stone when the season started.

For a second when practice ended and they had played a practice game where she was put as a striker and on the opposite team as the captain, Huh Yunjin, she thought that the girl would be a rival; a competition to beat and replace on the field.

The view was also changed quickly; Chaewon saw no need to strive for her old spot as a captain, however, she did find the need to be in the starting lineup and hoped it would come to her soon even if it wouldn’t be as a main striker.

Yunjin became someone she saw as a person who she could get the most out of when they played together as days passed through the week and they played alongside each other. Outside the field, they were becoming good friends and she could say it about the rest too.

Days passed quicker than she had expected after dreading moving to a new place.

So before she knew it; it was Saturday and Chaewon found herself at a convention centre for a local yet huge cheerleading tournament. She had never been to one, so naturally, she wanted to stick to the group of people she came with; Yunjin, Jimin and Yujin.

They had arrived an hour before it was the team's turn because the competition lasted a whole eight hours and there were still three hours left after the good four-minute performance that was in 30 minutes. Chaewon knew very little about everything, but the other three girls filled her right in, especially Yunjin who had a hard time being quiet about it.

“I still need to give Y/n her bow, Chaewon and I can go while you two get to the seats.” Chaewon didn’t get a word in as they were walking through the crowded centre, her arm sleeve was grabbed and she was pulled aside by Yunjin.

“Could you hold it for a second?” She hummed, taking the bow from Yunjin who started to look for her phone. Chaewon looked over the dark blue and white bow with gemstones, glancing between the captain and the way before her to not walk into anyone.

“Where are you and Y/n?”

Yunjin stopped in her tracks as she tried to hear what Kazuha was saying over the noise in the background as Y/n wasn’t answering her phone.

“I kind of lost Y/n somewhere and she doesn’t have her phone.”

“What? Where are you then?”

“I just got to the main entrance.” Yunjin groaned and turned on her heels as she started to walk her way back to the main entrance. “How do you lose her?”

“I’m not the one who lost her, Y/n always gets distracted and loses us, plus I can’t see her in this crowd, she’s too short.” Yunjin snorted at that, she knew her best friend like the back of her palm and how she could see something and walk off from everyone else without a word. The 5’3 flyer was good at getting lost.

“I can see you–your hair.” The ginger's eyes started to search as she was approaching the main entrance.

Chaewon stopped in her tracks as the captain she had glanced at a good minute ago was no longer beside her. She kind of sensed that it couldn’t be too good; she had the cheer captain's bow.

Her eyes searched through the crowd of people, but her height did no justice. The next best thing that came to mind was to stand still and hope that they would run into her while she tried to get her phone out of her pocket.

Just as she fumbled out her phone, her head snapped up, “Chaewon!” A smile unknowingly tugged on her lips as she saw Y/n quickly running over to her. The girl in the cheer uniform made her stomach nervously flutter ever since she first talked to her and that usually was the case with pretty girls. However, that feeling passed after a few hours of talking, but that little flutter was slowly developing into a crush instead of disappearing and Chaewon was fully aware of it.

She did feel guilty about it though; Yunjin and Y/n were in a relationship or dating, one of those. The girl didn’t know which, but either way she didn’t want to get in the way. Well, she hadn’t asked, but she was quite sure because everyone was close in the friend group, but the two seemed to be more than just friends. From Chaewon’s point of view at least.

“I lost Zuha, I don’t have my phone and Jen has my bow–” The girl went on talking as she grabbed hold of Chaewon’s hand and pulled her to the side, away from the walking crowd. She bit on her lower lip to get rid of the smile she became painfully aware of. “Where’s Jen?”

“Uhm–I lost her, but I have the bow.”

Y/n turned around and Chaewon showed her the bow in her hand, making the distress on Y/n’s face wash away, being replaced by a smile. This time the smile was directed solely towards Chaewon and it made her chest fill up like an air balloon with how much warmth spread through her, all running up to her cheeks.

“You’re my saviour today–” The girl was about to reach for it but stopped, “could you help me put it on, I don’t have a mirror and will mess it up.”

Chaewon wanted to argue that the girl could do it once she was back with her team or have Kazuha or Yunjin help her simply because her hands were trembling and she was scared she would mess it up. The last thing she wanted was to get even more awkward even if it was only coming from her side.

However, she knew that she didn’t have the heart to deny the girl nor did Y/n have the time to wait around as the performance started soon.

The girl hummed with a nod and sucked on her lower lip as Y/n stepped closer to her, tilting her head down. Chaewon was probably an inch and a half taller, managing to reach just fine.

“You know how to do it, right?” The question made her look down at Y/n as she reached for the already-done ponytail. This was probably the closest she had been to the girl and it was making her even more nervous, especially when Y/n looked up at her through her lashes.

She gave a short hum and nod of affirmation–again–the girl in front of her let out a breathless chuckle. Chaewon did her best to keep her attention on Y/n’s hair as she pulled the ponytail through the tie, making sure the bow stayed in place the whole time.

“How are you feeling about the game on Friday?”

She glanced away from the hair for a second, seeing that Y/n was looking up at her the whole time, it was making her feel warm.

“Shouldn’t I ask how you are feeling about the performance you have coming up?” Chaewon asked back.

Her first game on the team was next week despite not being on the starting lineup or getting to play much she was still more and more jittery the closer the game was.

Y/n subtly shook her head. “I don’t like talking about them right before, makes me too nervous…I like to pretend that I’m here to be part of the audience until we are on the stage.”

“Okay–” She acknowledged, licking her lower lip as she concentrated with her eyes back on the ponytail. “I’ve always been comfortable on the field, but I’ve played on the same team for years so I’m kind of scared even if I might not play much.” The girl couldn’t help but admit, trusting Y/n to carry these words with tenderness as she didn’t have anyone to open up to anymore. Chaewon felt alienated no matter how welcomed she had been, she had yet to get close enough to anyone to open up but Y/n made it easy.

There was a pull towards her and her aura; one that made words slip past lips much easier.

“Do you think that’s because you still have to get more comfortable with your teammates or with the fact that you’re playing on your home field even though it doesn’t feel like home?”

The words made Chaewon stop for a second and look Y/n in the eye again as she hadn’t been able to tell what it was that made her feel scared when the field had always been her home; her comfort. Y/n just made it clear for her; the exact problem was that it had always been a home when she played in her old jersey, with her old team and this had yet to start feeling like a home.

“I think that’s it, everything feels foreign even though I’ve gotten accustomed to how you guys play, it feels like something is off.”

Y/n hummed at that.

“I think that once you get on the field during an actual game, adrenaline will make you feel right at home like this is right where you belong…it will happen so quick you will only realise it after.”

She pulled away from the cheerleader, the sweet scent fainter as her senses were being filled by the dull air of the centre again. The words made her think about it, trying to figure out if that would be the case, it sounded too simple.

“You think so?” Chaewon asked, her hands fiddling with the loose material of her jeans as she watched Y/n who made sure the bow was secure.

“Yeah, your home is where the ball is no matter who you play for.”

It suddenly made sense to Chaewon who smiled as Y/n had managed to change her perception of things and it made the tension wash away. If anything, Chaewon was now looking forward to the game to finally be able to find her home again by playing where the ball was.

“Thank you for that, I needed someone to talk to about it—I like talking to you.” She felt herself blush at her own words, unable to recall when she was so easily flustered by someone, let alone by the words that left her lips. Her hands clutched onto the material of her jeans as Y/n smiled even bigger at her.

“Well, I don’t mind helping and you have my number if you want to talk.”

Chaewon didn’t get to get another word in though as her heart started to sling around in her chest and they were joined by the other two. The girl remembered that she maybe should try to avert her eyes away from Y/n when the girl was engulfed in a hug by Yunjin.

“Where were you?” The shorter girl complained and Yunjin pulled away from their brief hug, a frown graced her features for a split second at the bow in Y/n’s hair that she always helped her with. However, she dropped it because she knew that Y/n always relied on Yunjin’s presence before her performances—the ginger was Y/n’s cheerleader—and she didn’t have much time left now.

It wasn’t talk though, just her presence alone and she had no clue why and neither did the cheerleader have an explanation when she asked aside from it being her Jen.

“I was looking for you–” She wanted to continue but couldn’t let go of the thought that she hadn’t helped Y/n with her bow. It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was part of a habit, it was like a ritual before every competition that they had done since they were kids. “When did you put this on?” Yunjin curiously asked, her fingers doing a minor change to the bow and Y/n looked up through her lashes at her hand.

“Chaewon helped me because we’re short on time–” They truly were short on time when Kazuha linked her arm with Y/n and pulled her away from Yunjin.

“We have to go, Yeonjun texted that the coach needs us all together,” Kazuha informed them as they were already walking away.

Yunjin only waved, knowing that Y/n didn’t like it when someone wished her luck or talked about the performance beforehand.

“Sorry for losing you like that.” She apologised to the girl beside her as she had only realised that Chaewon wasn’t with her once she reached Kazuha.

“It’s fine, it wasn’t for too long.” Yunjin chuckled at that with a nod before they made their way to Jimin and Yujin.

Chaewon found herself in an even bigger crowd once they had made it to the other two and not long after she got to see the cheer performance of her life. Of course, the school’s team did great, but even the cheerleaders at her old school didn’t cheer as well as Yunjin did beside her while they watched them perform.

She was sure she hadn’t seen two more lovesick people when they won and she watched Y/n run right into Yunjin’s arms. Chaewon watched from the sidelines as Y/n clung onto Yunjin who practically carried the girl. She congratulated the other two people she was close to from the cheer team, Yeonjun and Kazuha.

What caught her attention were Yeonjun’s words.

“I’ve never seen two more annoying best friends, the love makes me want to throw up.”

It made her frown and look at them in confusion, but Yeonjun was already talking to someone else and Y/n had walked over to her.

Best friends? Love? It could mean so many things, couldn’t it?

Had Chaewon read too much into their relationship? However, two best friends could be in a relationship, couldn’t they? The longer she observed them the more confused she grew as the signals weren’t mixed, but clear, however; clear with what intentions? Were they together?

Chaewon was too shy to forwardly ask, especially if she was right and they were a couple. She didn’t need Yunjin to assume that she had a crush on Y/n–she did, but that was her secret–it would be awkward and she didn’t need to lose friends she just made.

Loud.

Loud was one of the only words that could fill her head as she nervously fiddled with the polyester of her white shorts. She was benched, but that didn’t mean that her nerves weren’t spiked as she watched the team play. The crowd on the bleachers was loud and the only few times her eyes drifted away from the ball was when the cheer team would motivate the team and make the crowd even louder.

One cheerleader still stuck out to her. God, Y/n stuck out like a sore thumb in Chaewon’s eyes after knowing her for two weeks and she was stuck in a dilemma. Was she supposed to forget about her crush or keep crushing in secret even if Y/n wore Yunjin’s varsity jacket with the number 8 and the girl’s last name? It wasn’t like her crush was hurting anyone as long as she kept it to herself, and if it did, the only person it would hurt was Chaewon.

It made her space out once again, her eyes losing the ball and getting stuck on the setting sun in the distance as the crowd's noise disappeared.

It wasn’t right, she was sure that if Y/n and Yunjin weren’t in a relationship, they at least had to be dating while slowly pursuing something with how close they were.

However, Y/n made her feel so at home in a foreign place that she sometimes doubted her assumptions because of how close she was to the girl. The cheer captain was hard to crack with how affectionate and caring she was.

Y/n was caring, kind, observant to the people around her, intelligent, athletic, pretty, and bright—Chaewon realised that she was starting to list things about Y/n in her head once again and it made her feel guilty once she remembered how Yunjin and Y/n looked at each other.

Ideally, she would want to date the girl and slowly pursue something more than friends while they were still getting to know each other so it wouldn’t be a deal breaker if she confessed as a friend. It seemed perfect since they had just met. Or maybe she could set a standard to find someone like the girl?

It did not matter how many times she tried not to, Chaewon kept spacing out with the same difficult thoughts.

She cursed Y/n for bringing her such comfort yet she was more than thankful.

Would it be wrong to test the waters because as far as Chaewon knew some people still went out with others during the early stages of dating? Just to show her gratitude.

But Yunjin; Chaewon found a great friend in the captain.

She had yet to get the clear meaning behind the words Yeonjun said a week ago.

Chaewon jumped, flinching at the cold hand that brushed over her arm.

“Oh–I’m sorry?” Her eyes widened as she looked to her side at Y/n who let out a small laugh at the reaction. That momentary coldness she felt disappeared as heat ran over her whole body, certainly leaving her ears redder than they already were.

“It’s fine, I didn’t notice you.” Chaewon breathed out, rubbing her clammy palms against the fabric of her shorts. She looked around to see that the cheerleaders had spread out, seemingly taking a break for a few minutes. Her gaze went back to Y/n and her stomach flipped when she remembered the thoughts that she just had.

She scooted a bit closer to her teammate to make some more space for the cheerleader on the bench. Amidst the fresh scent of the green grass that had been watered, the scent she had grown familiar with danced its way around her as Y/n sat down beside her. Chaewon froze, glancing down as their knees touched and she tried her best to pay attention to what Y/n was saying.

“I noticed you spacing out and thought that it could have been because of what we talked about.”

Y/n truly was observant and it was admirable, but now Chaewon had to lie because she couldn’t tell the girl that she was daydreaming about her.

“Oh–well…kind of, there’s just a lot on my mind lately.”

“Do you want to talk about it or get your mind off of it? Maybe the latter considering the circumstances.”

She chuckled at the girl's words and nodded her head because the last thing she needed was to get her head occupied with more stuff in case she would be called to sub in.

“What are your plans for the weekend?”

“I don’t have any yet, well–” Chaewon stopped for a second to contemplate whether or not she should ask if Y/n wanted to hang out. However, did Chaewon want it to be a normal hangout? Not really unless Y/n wasn’t truly single. “Probably practise some on my own.”

Chaewon decided to wait until she knew what exactly Y/n and Yunjin were.

“You’re like Yunjin, you two could probably head together.”

Chaewon looked down at her cleats as she grabbed hold of the bench, almost jolting at how she brushed her hand over Y/n’s for a second. She seemed to be the only one to notice as the cheerleader was looking over the field.

“You two are close.” The girl pointed out the obvious and tilted her head to the side to look at Y/n. She watched how the smile grew slightly bigger at the mention and she understood that even if she wanted to she didn’t stand a chance if just the mention of Yunjin made Y/n smile that big.

“We’ve been there for each other for so long, Jen means the world to me—she’s my person and always will be.”

Yet Chaewon couldn’t help but admire it, wishing to have something similar with someone. Y/n looked at her and giggled, Chaewon catching the small tint of pink that shaded the girl's cheeks, but the same happened with hers as she had been staring at the girl once again.

She was worried it would become obvious soon enough.

Yunjin took a deep breath as she had been in her headspace the whole time, fully indulged in the field and game. She could feel the sweat dripping down her forehead, whatever loose hair strands that fell from her ponytail were sticking to her skin.

The score was still 0 - 0 and she knew that they weren’t aiming for a draw or a simply good game. That was not what the coach wanted, their coach was harsh at times, but it always came with the best results.

Yunjin would always beat herself up though, but it was her dream and dreams meant sacrificing even a piece of herself.

If they lost or had a draw then they didn’t do their best.

That was why she could only spare the person she had been dreaming about for the past three years a second long glance as she was waiting for a throw-in from one of their defenders.

That godforsaken feeling of longing, love and fear still slipped through her strongly made facade that she put up on the field when she saw Y/n laughing with Chaewon. Y/n made all her walls crumble so easily.

It made her exhale deeply to try and wash away that tinge of jealousy she felt. At the back of her head, she knew that this skinny love maybe wouldn’t last or maybe wasn’t even real and that any could sweep away her biggest dream.

Y/n was becoming closer to Chaewon, not as close as she was with Yunjin, but it gave her zero reassurance. Yunjin couldn’t tell if she was close as in best friends or close as in love with Y/n anymore, she hated thinking about being the only one. Yet she couldn’t find out as she bit her tongue and focused back on the game when the ball got thrown to one of the midfielders.

Chaewon’s conversation with Y/n was interrupted as the crowd started to cheer louder, the two joining in anticipation as they watched the midfielders create a perfect opportunity for the forwards when the ball got passed to Yujin. The captain was open as she was quicker on her legs than the defender who was tailing her.

It was a perfect opportunity to finally set a score of 1 - 0 in the last 15 minutes of the game when Yujin lobbed the ball over to Yunjin.

All that loud cheering turned into furious' ‘boos’’ and shouts of disapproval and dissatisfaction at the late tackle that ended with Yujin on the ground and the whistle being blown amidst the wail of pain.

Chaewon widened her eyes with her heart racing, unsure if it was because of what just happened to Yujin who was aided right away or the coach telling her to quickly warm up to get on the field.

It wasn’t long until Yujin was being assisted off of the field to get taken to the hospital, giving Chaewon a thumbs up despite the tears in her eyes.

She felt jittery once again, the loud cheers that were erupted by the cheer team going right back to bring up the spirit of everyone. It put so much more on her than she already felt as she got on the field with her heart jumping without a stop against her ribcage like a bouncy ball.

Yunjin was worried, to say the least, she hadn’t played long with Chaewon but she’d seen the girl's skills and she was good. However, she had no clue how well she worked under pressure, especially in important games. She wasn’t doubting Chaewon, the girl used to be a starting striker and captain just like Yunjin.

The worries of both girls’ disappeared right after the whistle blew and the game was back in play after the free kick. Something sparked within the both of them, seemingly sending the spark to each other as chemistry kindled between the two.

Yunjin always excelled, going beyond what was the limit and she took notice of the fire in Chaewon who pushed beyond a different limit, one she wasn’t sure she could push. Any other day she would see it as a threat–especially as the captain and with Chaewon’s old position and title–but she couldn’t, not when they were attacking the goal once again, creating a perfect opening with a few minutes left.

If they missed this opportunity they would have to try and push for a goal during overtime instead of wasting it to keep their winning score.

So the ball got lobbed over to Yunjin who ran into the penalty area the second the ball crossed the line. It wasn’t a hard decision, it never would be because she would never be selfish on the field. She had the opportunity to score a goal; Yunjin half-volleyed it over to Chaewon who had a better opportunity to score.

Y/n had been right all along and Chaewon hadn’t smiled as big as she did now ever since she landed at JFK airport when she scored. Her body was engulfed in the thrashing hugs of her teammates. Maybe she could find a home here after all as the adrenaline made her feel like she was floating in her zone of comfort again.

The bitter taste in her mouth was no longer present, replaced by the sweet sound of the whistleblowing not long after; winning 1 - 0.

“Huh and Kim.” The two girls didn’t get to join the celebration of their teammates for longer than a few minutes before being called by their coach.

Their chests were still heaving with exhaustion and the coursing adrenaline in their veins as they glanced at each other in confusion. The people around them celebrated, the people dissipating from the bleachers to congratulate the team and head home, the clock striking 9 P.M.

“Great play from the both of you, especially at the end—I just finished talking to Yujin’s dad and as it’s looking right now she won’t be playing.” The two nodded, feeling relief at the praise, but concerned at their teammate's state who was at the hospital.

“What happened?” Yunjin asked, her forearm coming up and wiping away the sweat before it would trickle down to her eyes.

“It looks like a sprained ankle so she won’t be able to play for the rest of the season which brings us here—” Yunjin glanced over at Chaewon who was attentively listening to the woman in front of them. “Chaewon will be part of the starting lineup as a second striker for the rest of the season, the decision is made based on skill.” The ginger knew that their spare second striker wasn’t nearly as good as Yujin and that Chaewon was perhaps–definitely–better than Yujin herself.

The coach nodded, dismissing the two as she walked away.

“I hope we can work with a perfect dynamic both on and off the field, Chaewon,” Yunjin said, turning to look at the shorter girl. The new starter parted her lips before closing her mouth, hesitating about what to say which Yunjin had grown used to as Chaewon was still getting comfortable around them.

She smiled at the girl and stretched out her hand and Chaewon accepted it with a smile. “I will do my best—” They gently squeezed before letting go and Chaewon grew the courage to compliment her captain. “It was a great assist on your part, thank you for the opportunity.”

“Always, we’re a team and I will always prioritise our whole team over my desire to score goals.” The two laughed at Yunjin’s words as they headed over to the huddle of cheerleaders, teammates, and other students while talking with each other.

The thoughts of competing with each other disappeared as they worked better together than against each other.

“You two did so well, that pass and goal were–” The rest of the cheer captain's words were muffled as her face ended up in Yunjin’s jersey who grabbed hold of her best friend when she jumped into her arms. It warmed Yunjin as she smiled, squeezing Y/n in her arms.

“Thank you, pretty girl, but your cheering kept us going,” Yunjin replied and Y/n pulled away with a grin.

“What about us?” Yeonjun questioned and Jimin was right behind him, holding the camera—pictures for the senior yearbook—Kazuha jogging over to the rest.

“I guess you guys did okay.” She said with a shrug, receiving dirty looks from the two cheer members. The warmth from her arms disappeared and her eyes trailed over to Y/n to see the girl grab hold of Chaewon’s hand and pull her over to them.

“Do we leave for the beach?” Jimin questioned.

Chaewon’s head perked up, looking away from the hand that was clasping onto hers but Y/n let go once they reached the group.

The rest agreed and Y/n turned to her with a smile. “We usually head to the beach after with a few more people to celebrate, you included. Do you need a ride?”

It wasn’t long before she was sitting on the beach after being squeezed into one of the few cars as there were probably a dozen other students. The sun was just about to disappear fully, the weather was more chilly by the beach, the girl in a pair of loose jeans, a hoodie and her varsity jacket with the number 52 on it and her last name.

She had been sitting and talking with mostly Jimin who was sitting beside her on one of the blankets, Yeonjun joining in as he sat across from them on a beach chair he looked two times too tall for. Kazuha had dozed off on Jimin’s shoulder just an hour after they arrived. A small campfire–one of the two where another group was sitting occasionally butting into their conversations–kept them warmer while keeping the atmosphere.

The shore where the waves gently brushed was also filled with laughter and shouts as a soccer ball was passed around as they played rondo. Part of that circle was Yunjin and in the middle with a guy was Y/n, running around and trying to get possession of the ball.

Chaewon hadn’t had the chance to talk much more to Y/n after they drove off.

She was a wallflower; Y/n was a social butterfly.

She’d argue that they were two worlds apart, but she was proven wrong as butterflies were always drawn to flowers. Y/n had approached her the first day and had continued to do so—

“Are Y/n and Yunjin together?” It barely made it past the ocean breeze, gentle waves, laughter and crackling fire as she mumbled the words into the air, they almost managed to get blown away by it. Her fingers fiddled with the soda in her hands, nervous to say the least as her heart pounded at the question she asked.

—but as much as butterflies were drawn to flowers, they also danced among each other the way Y/n and Yunjin did.

She glanced at Jimin who hummed, the girl looking at her and what she got in return was a breathless chuckle.

“Does it look like it?” Chaewon shrugged at the question, watching as Yunjin ran away from the circle after tunnelling the ball between Y/n’s legs, the cheerleader chasing right after her.

Their relationship was contagious and it made Chaewon smile, wondering if there was someone like that out there for her. Yunjin was more than lucky, she envied it but not in a bad way, she only wished to find happiness in a new place. She kind of had, but people always wanted more than they had, didn’t they?

“They look like the type that went from best friends to lovers.” She admitted.

Their dynamic reminded her of two best friends while also having that extra step that made her believe that they were more. Those affectionate gestures, the way they looked at each other and held each other, those glances and touches she had taken notice of.

Chaewon rested her elbows on her knees, the soda can in hand as she spun the tab around with her finger. Her eyes left the two girls as Y/n tackled Yunjin onto the sand, their laughter being almost obnoxiously loud. They landed on Jimin who had been looking at the two and now looked at Chaewon with a slightly confused frown that disappeared as she shook her head with a smile.

“They are the first but not the second.”

Chaewon frowned. “So they aren’t dating either?” She asked, wondering if they were in the stages of trying to pursue something. That guilt she felt for crushing on someone her new friend was with slowly started to disappear when the girl beside her shook her head.

“Nope, they’ve been best friends since middle school—” She watched as Jimin looked over at the two girls before looking back at her. “You’re crushing on one of them, aren’t you?” She teasingly asked and Chaewon took in a deep breath and held it, a blush dancing its way onto her cheeks and ears.

Her knee got nudged by Jimin’s and she exhaled the breath that she was holding. “Y/n kind of caught my attention I guess.” She shyly mumbled, letting her hair fall and cover more of her face as she stared down at the blanket under her.

“I’m vouching for you and if you need some good vouching, there’s no one better than Yunjin.” It made sense because who would be better than Y/n’s best friend? She could maybe look for some moral support and help. Chaewon knew that if the two were best friends she would need as much of Yunjin’s trust as she needed Y/n’s.

“Ugh, there’s like a whole sandbox in my shoes.” Y/n groaned.

“I guess that’s what happens when you go to the beach and start tackling people,” Yunjin replied, looking at the girl who was sitting beside her on the sand after tackling her.

Y/n gasped and tilted her head, “does it, Jen?” She mocked and Yunjin chuckled as the girl gave her a light shove as she slipped her shoe back on after emptying it of sand.

The wind blew colder and she watched the way Y/n’s hair blew out of her face, the girl still brushing away some strays that got in the way. Yunjin felt herself hold back a shiver, knowing that the smaller girl was cold as she only had a long sleeve and no jacket. It made her manoeuvre around, the girl giving her a confused hum as she looked back at Yunjin.

“Why are you always so underdressed?” She genuinely asked as she couldn’t remember a single time the girl had dressed according to the weather. It earned her a small chuckle as she settled behind Y/n who leaned back into Yunjin, having the girl sit between her legs. The striker adjusted her varsity jacket and covered Y/n with it too before hugging around her shoulders to keep her warm and to simply be close to the cheerleader.

Yunjin no longer paid attention to the way her heart constricted before exploding as she had grown used to it after all these years. Especially after coming to terms at the beginning of high school that she was in love with Y/n. A small smile rested on her lips as she propped her chin up on top of Y/n’s head, cupping the cold hands that had started to fiddle with her fingers.

After a minute of silence, she got her reply.

“‘Cause it always ends with you hugging me or letting me borrow your clothes. I like that.”

Yunjin was so in love that it hurt and it hurt more each time she bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying it out loud to her best friend. It made her heart twist and pump extra hard, sending warmth throughout her whole body; each time it happened she felt at home.

That warmth she felt with Y/n was the warmth of a home.

She wanted to believe that neither said anything to make sure that it stayed this way forever. Yunjin wanted to be stuck in this moment forever even if she wasn’t in a relationship with Y/n at this moment. She could be stuck in a moment like this forever simply because it was just them and she never would have to worry that someone or something could ruin it. It was like a safe space where she knew that she had Y/n and would be the only one to hold her.

Yunjin was also aware that time didn’t stop, not even for love.

“I can do that without you possibly getting sick.” She mumbled. The girl in her arms hummed as their fingers tangled with each other. Yunjin stared ahead at the ocean before them, hoping to find them on the horizon; that somehow her dreams would happen.

She lifted her head as Y/n turned the slightest in her hold and their eyes met. A smile on her best friend's lips whose hand found its way to the necklace she was wearing, toying with the pendant all while bringing Yunjin closer. It was these moments when Y/n pulled her even closer, where she looked Yunjin in the eye in a serene silence that brought them to Eden. It was these moments that made the girl believe that Y/n was in love when she just silently looked her in the eye.

Yunjin dreamed of getting rid of her bad habits where her mouth was glued shut, where she bit her tongue as it got tied when she was around the girl no matter how much those three words bubbled in her stomach. She dreamed of it being Y/n’s lips that glued her mouth shut by pressing against hers, that it was the girl biting her tongue, tying it with hers, but how did she tell that to Y/n?

She always wondered what it was that Y/n saw and looked for in these moments with the way she waited. Was she waiting for Yunjin? Or did the soccer captain look too much into it? Was she looking at just a best friend or someone she wanted more with just like the striker did?

Doubts, fears, worries, and insecurities all made her mouth get stitched together.

The ginger watched as Y/n’s gaze dropped, falling to the pendant of the necklace around her neck. Yunjin’s life would be mundane without Y/n in it, the girl who drove her insane in so many ways and there was no one else she could see herself as in love with.

“I’m lucky to have you.” Was what finally left the girl’s lip with a tired giggle after.

“I think I’m luckier,” Yunjin replied as the girl dropped her head, resting it under Yunjin’s chin who hugged her closer around her shoulders to shield Y/n from the wind.

“Yeah, you are.” She chuckled at the words, smiling as she knew how lucky she was to have Y/n as her best friend. Yunjin knew that she was one of the luckiest people on earth by getting to feel Y/n’s love no matter in what form it came and with what intentions. She also knew how lucky she was to have the chance to fall in love with her best friend, to love her even if it was in silence.

The sun was out and warming up the day, the grass on the field was not as green as the grass on the school’s field. It held a yellowish hue to it at certain spots on the enclosed soccer field. There was a gentle breeze of cold and Yunjin kicked the ball, the sound of it hitting the crossbar echoed through the air and she huffed a breath of exhaustion.

“You’re a surprisingly good playmaker for a centre forward.”

“I used to be a second striker,” Yunjin replied as the ball smoothly glided between her feet and she walked over to where Chaewon was sitting on the grass with her water bottle. “Then our main striker quit and I became captain and main striker because of skill plus my height.” She proceeded to explain.

Yunjin put her hands into the pockets of the trainer she had on to not get too cold in just shorts. She carefully juggled the ball as she stood a few feet away from Chaewon. It was slightly after 1 PM and they had been doing 101 drills after Y/n suggested to ask Chaewon.

Aside from that, Yunjin wanted to get closer to the new girl, so the best option was to ask Chaewon to hang out.

Chaewon was starting to become a close friend like she was with her other friends. There wasn’t anything to complain about, especially with how much they had in common and would play alongside each other for a whole season.

“Coach was sceptical of putting me as the main striker, thought I was better suited for second–” Chaewon started. “Mostly because of my height.”

Yunjin looked over at the girl who smiled up at her, chuckling as she nodded her head at the words. “I think we can make the most out of the current lineup.”

Chaewon hummed at that as she put her water bottle down, slightly tugging onto the sleeves of the compression shirt she had under her jersey. It was a surprise when she got a text from Yunjin in the morning, asking if she wanted to practise some drills.

That feeling of possibly being alienated had started to fully dissipate.

She busied her fingers by pulling onto the strands of grass, the soft thuds of Yunjin juggling the ball filled her ears and she found herself thinking about the same thing once again. It felt like a good idea to tell Y/n’s best friend that she was starting to like the girl.

That thought had passed her mind a few times since last night, especially when she knew that she would spend time with Yunjin alone today.

It could make things easier, especially since Chaewon knew that she was good at holding back because she was shy. She feared she would bite her tongue hard and long enough that by the time she would let go, it would be too late. The last thing she wanted was to regret something because her tongue was tied, but it was hard to simply untie knots of shyness that had been with her since she was little.

She wished she could be more like some people around her and stop biting her tongue; Yunjin felt like a good example from her point of view. The girl always had Y/n’s attention and didn’t shy away.

A deep breath slipped past her lips and she looked up from the grass and at the girl in front of her. There was a mix of anxiety and fear swirling in her stomach, but she forced some courage into it, trying to think of how she only would live once and this was her senior year.

It was truly difficult and it got only harder the more she started to think about it; the more she would overthink, the more reasons came up not to do it. Dating within a friend group? What if Y/n didn’t find her interesting enough? What if she simply wouldn’t be good enough? That paired with the fact that Y/n’s standard was probably impossibly high seeing how her dynamic worked with her best friend. Was Y/n even into girls?

It all made her want to curl up and hide as the dark gloom of anxiety covered the sky and cast a shadow over her.

Why was liking someone so hard and scary?

She was supposed to drop the pessimism though.

Chaewon couldn’t let up pursuing something with someone whom she grew attracted to in the blink of an eye. What if this was meant to be and she would waste it because she was scared and shy? That seemed to be the dealbreaker.

“Would you vouch for me if I liked someone you know and are close with?”

“Yeah of course, why wouldn’t I?” Yunjin replied right away after the momentary silence that had fallen between them. It was a bit surprising to hear the girl be this straightforward, especially after seeing Chaewon hold back and shy away often. It let Yunjin know that she was comfortable with her.

Yunjin obviously would vouch for her new friend and she couldn’t deny it because Chaewon was truly a great person and friend even if they had known each other for only two weeks.

She got a hum from the girl, her eyes darting between the ball that she was juggling and Chaewon on the grass. Yunjin was about to ask who it was; her mind swirled with the people Chaewon had gotten close with and she was about to utter the words ‘Is it Jimin or Zuha?’ Maybe even Yeonjun no matter how insufferable he could be at times. However, Chaewon was much quicker and Yunjin’s world possibly crumbled into pieces even quicker.

“Okay, ‘cause it’s Y/n.”

The ball dropped, Yunjin felt her heart fall right with it and she couldn’t force a breath out for what felt like hours but was a few seconds. Unable to breathe for the few seconds that it took for her to register the fact that everything would change.

What had yet to come was the acceptance of how everything would change.

How did she come to terms with losing someone she loved and being nothing more than best friends forever? How did she accept the fact that she would possibly never get to know or get to tell?

Once she was able to get a shaky breath out she realised that they were growing quicker than usual. Something was wrong, something definitely was wrong as a fire that destroyed everything in its way started in her make-believe world where it was her and Y/n forever whether they uttered it out loud or not.

She was so set on her make-believe world that Chaewon liking the girl she loved didn’t cross her mind because in her head it was Y/n and Yunjin even if it wasn’t written for everyone to see.

“What?” Yunjin’s voice was laced with confusion, that confusion wasn’t directed at Chaewon liking Y/n. That confusion was directed towards her dreams, that stupid horizon where their dream started. Had Yunjin been stupid enough to think that the horizon was reachable?

That confusion was the uncertainty of what was next. What came next if Yunjin was in love, but too scared to confess because she didn’t want to lose a best friend, but neither did she want to lose a possible lover to someone else? Lose her by not telling her the truth before someone else gets the chance before Chaewon could unknowingly steal Yunjin’s dream.

“Huh?” Chaewon squinted her eyes as the sun peeked out from behind the clouds that were starting to clear from the sky. Her hand came up to her face to shield her eyes as she looked at Yunjin.

“Huh?” Was all that Yunjin could utter back, her hands jitterly pulling at her trainer as she started to feel uneasy at the fear growing in her.

“Y/n, I like her.” She repeated, assuming that Yunjin didn’t hear what she had said at first. Chaewon repeated them firmly, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t crumbling on the inside because she was unsure of Yunjin’s reaction or if the captain would consider her enough for Y/n.

“Oh.” That security disappeared from Yunjin’s life and was replaced by what she knew would be a constant fear of losing Y/n to someone else because of an even bigger fear.

It made Yunjin crouch down before she sat down fully in front of Chaewon. Her eyes darted around, trying to find something to look at that could distract her from the forlornness and apprehension.

“Yeah.”

“That’s…” There were no words for her to describe what she felt let alone words to say to Chaewon who just admitted to liking the girl she had been in love with since middle school. The girl she had accepted she was in love with at the start of high school. The girl she had wanted to confess to since then, but had always been too scared because of what a high-risk gamble it was.

“Honestly, I was hesitant until last night at the beach after I asked Jimin about it because I thought you two were together.”

Her eyes briefly darted back to Chaewon who scratched at the back of her neck with a slight frown. Was Yunjin being obvious? If so, did Y/n notice it too? She didn’t want Chaewon to think that she as Y/n’s best friend didn’t find her good enough for the girl. At the same time, she didn’t want Chaewon to take the chance.

She was stuck in a dilemma within a dilemma. The captain was starting to drown in despair, her tongue getting tied into a tighter knot than ever before as she so badly wanted to tell Chaewon that she loved Y/n.

“We aren’t but…” Yunjin tried her best to push through, she was fighting for it, but it made her heartbeat worse than it was a second ago. The thought of losing a best friend felt just as scary as losing a possible lover. Her hands balled up the material of her shorts as she stared down at the grass, letting her hair fall and cover the frown on her face all while listening to Chaewon talk.

“I didn’t want to get in the way of anything and I was worried because–” Yunjin’s chest felt heavy and it only got heavier with all these suppressed feelings that grew like a garden. “Well, I wouldn’t stand a chance against you and it’s not like I ever wanted to see you as competition over a girl so I would get over my crush on Y/n if that was the case…I didn’t want to ruin our friendship either since I like where it’s heading.”

“Chaewon…” She didn’t manage to push anything out, there was a lump in Yunjin’s throat that wasn’t letting her speak. Those suppressed feelings she always refused to let out were blocking her airways.

“It’s a relief, now I stand a chance, you know?”

“Chaewon, I–” She looked up at the girl who had a small smile on her face and Yunjin smiled back at her while feeling how her heart was being pierced by thorns. It felt like she was being mocked by her feelings, laughed at by her own heart for being so stupid. This was her chance to make sure that her new friend would get over her crush on Y/n.

“I think you stood a chance right from the start.”

However, Yunjin didn’t stand the slightest chance against her fears and so Chaewon didn’t have much to worry about from the start.

Now each day that Yunjin woke up was filled with such fear and dread that she didn’t want to wake up. Yunjin not only woke up afraid but went to bed even more scared, fearing that when she woke up she would do so to heart-shattering news.

The week went by with Yunjin feeling sick, her heart ached and she felt lost in the sea of choices that she had. There were so many that she could make yet it felt like she had no choices at all. Who was hurting her? It wasn’t Y/n. It wasn’t Chaewon. Yunjin was hurting herself.

Slowly she started to take notice of how over the week Chaewon had already started to make subtle moves despite her shy nature. Yunjin now saw how easily flustered the girl got and how giggly Y/n was with her too. With each time she took a deep breath, bit down on her lower lip, gazed at the girl she was in love with and reminded herself of how Y/n would forever be her best friend and that that’s something that should make her feel over the moon.

Yet all it did was make her happy and ache in pain because she would always have Y/n, but not in the way she wanted to have the girl. It was frustrating, especially because of the agony it caused her.

She knew that Y/n wasn’t spending less time with her because she wasn’t and Yunjin would never mind Y/n spending time with someone else. The problem was that Y/n was spending time with someone who liked her, someone Yunjin said she would vouch for yet every time Chaewon’s name left Y/n’s lips she couldn’t do more than hum because her voice had started to strain from the suppressed feelings.

What used to be Yunjin walking Y/n to class started to feel like Yunjin dragging herself after Chaewon and her best friend. However, it felt like reassurance every time Y/n would tangle her fingers with Yunjin’s fingers while walking in the middle. Her eyes paying attention to the other girl who would talk before looking over at Yunjin with a smile that made her smile right back.

What type of reassurance was Y/n giving her? Was Y/n sensing that something was off? Yunjin didn’t want to be obvious, but she also wished she knew if that was reassurance of her not being replaced or reassurance of their skinny love going to last for years on end.

She was already reassured that she would never be replaced and she would never doubt that. What she did doubt was the fantasy she had lived in that she still hoped was true. Y/n loved her back.

Yet it lay heavily on her chest whenever she saw Y/n and Chaewon together.

Her eyes kept glancing towards the open door of the classroom, not paying much mind to anyone else around her. It had been a month since Chaewon transferred, tomorrow would be two weeks since Yunjin’s stomach started turning and throat close up.

It was hard to move at times, scared she would do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing because of how she had been forcing everything to stay inside. That garden of feelings in her lungs was starting to get too big for her to hold in.

Yunjin was holding back the door that was ready to burst open with emotions while constantly sweeping more of them inside.

The second she heard Y/n’s laugh, she felt a mix of relief and fear, knowing that her best friend was near but that she was probably with Chaewon. She and the girl had this class together, the class before was without Y/n who had physics with Chaewon. Yunjin knew that she would see Chaewon walk the girl to class, that was why Y/n wasn’t early like she usually would be so they could talk before class started.

It was hard to hate Chaewon, Yunjin truly had no reason to hate the girl as she watched them outside the classroom. The new girl was perfect and if Yunjin hadn’t been in love with her best friend she would wish for nothing more than for Y/n to be with someone as good as Chaewon.

Maybe she should wish for it right this moment because what if Yunjin wasn’t enough? How could she be when she didn’t dare to even express herself? She always prioritised Y/n’s happiness in the end.

Chaewon was right there and Yunjin too, but even if she was, she knew that it was miles away with how those words couldn’t seem to reach Y/n. They never would as long as she screamed them on the inside.

Y/n laughed, she smiled, her eyes sparkled, that little jump she did when excited, the way she paid attention, and held eye contact; it all hurt from how beautiful Yunjin found it. It hurt even more to think that if she did nothing about her love for Y/n; she wouldn’t be the only cause for those things to be ten times as bright.

She wanted to make Y/n laugh the loudest, smile the biggest, and have her eyes glimmer like water in the sun from love. Yunjin wanted to be the biggest source of happiness as Y/n was hers.

The second she walked in Yunjin straightened her posture and felt that beating of excitement ignite in her heart like it always did. All those worries were suddenly gone as Y/n walked towards her and even if they were in a classroom that was starting to pile up with students; it was just them in Yunjin’s eyes.

Yunjin wished she was more brave, but even the bravest people were scared of losing someone dear to them.

It always made her warm the second Y/n was near her, listening attentively to what her best friend was talking about as she sat down beside her. Lately, Yunjin felt more nervous around Y/n, taking notice of how flustered she felt and the way her heart would beat after growing used to it only for it to plague her again. It was as if she was being mocked by her own body by being reminded of what Y/n made her feel and how she would possibly lose someone who made her feel so much to Chaewon because she was scared.

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” She questioned the cheerleader, taking notice of how their knees were brushing against each other; how close they were sitting with her arm grazing Y/n’s now and then.

It was all becoming a clear picture that she had grown so used to she never noticed its details anymore.

Y/n smiled at her, Yunjin was expecting the usual answer since no one had planned anything. “You–” She raised her eyebrows as Y/n didn’t finish what she was about to say, realising a breath as she chuckled. “Chaewon just asked if I wanted to hang out tomorrow.”

Yunjin inhaled before exhaling just as deeply with a pout that disappeared quicker than it appeared. She wouldn’t care, she never did care if Y/n couldn’t hang out with her when she asked or the other way around because it was a given that they would get busy with other people and things at times. It was simply the fact that she wished that Chaewon had never told her about the crush she had grown on Y/n because Yunjin hated the fact that she knew what Chaewon’s intentions were.

It wouldn’t be painful if she hadn’t known; Yunjin would have seen it as nothing more than a friendly hangout and not Chaewon trying to get closer to the girl Yunjin was in love with.

“That’s fine,” she reassured Y/n, her fingers toying with the sleeves of her varsity jacket. Yunjin didn’t mind, she was just scared of where one simple hangout would lead because she still needed some more time to think this through. No matter how scared she was, she needed to be sure that those fears were worth suffocating for.

“I’m sure you can tag along–” Yunjin knew that Y/n’s kindness made the girl oblivious yet she hoped that it was more than kindness and obliviousness towards her. She stopped her, knowing that Chaewon asked just Y/n for a reason. As much as it hurt, Yunjin was a good friend and would continue hurting instead of hurting someone else.

“No, she probably has stuff planned for the two of you…It’s not like there’s no next week.” Somehow it still felt like one of these weeks would be the last ones until Y/n would be swept away from her, ridding Yunjin of any chances to confess if she chose to do so.

Chaewon wasn’t the best at planning, especially if she had yet to get to know Y/n on a deeper level. She took her chances the second she cleared her confusion about Y/n and Yunjin being together. It took away the guilt of crushing on the girl and it made it easier to act out on her feelings. Her gut feeling told her to finally ask the girl out and she did, but she wasn’t brave enough to clarify that she would like to take her on a date.

It was a hangout.

She winged it after getting to know a bit more about Y/n, spending each free moment between them talking and showing interest. The perfect moments were the classes they had together, the few classes she could walk Y/n to and the times she bumped into the girl between periods.

Chaewon did her best to show interest, forcing herself to break down her wall of uncertainty and shyness–still struggling–hoping that she was enough to get Y/n’s attention back. It was more difficult than she would’ve thought as the girl seemed to fall between oblivious and knowing yet playing dumb. Chaewon couldn’t figure it out. Was Y/n getting the hints or was she oblivious to them?

Or maybe it was Chaewon’s fault as she hadn’t dared to be obvious enough either because of how frightening it was to be vulnerable about her feelings, especially as someone closed off and typically shy.

She worked with what she had.

And so she was walking with her hands in her pockets, too nervous to take them out as she kept fiddling with stuff while walking beside Y/n at the aquarium. The enthusiasm and just Y/n in general was making her smile, her little crush was growing gradually, being blown up like a balloon and she had to bite back to not smile too much at certain times.

“Do you miss Austin a lot?” The girl suddenly asked as they reached the moon jellies.

Chaewon felt that stupid longing again and she wasn’t sure why it mattered so much if she was in her senior year and would be moving away to university after. Maybe because it was so sudden and unfair to just be dragged away from her home as it was the last year she would get to spend there. Now once she left for university, when she would visit home it would mean visiting this new home and not the one where she grew up.

Chaewon had left a part of her behind and now wanted to find a way to fill it and build a new part so it wouldn’t be as arduous.

“I do miss it, all the friends I had there, memories, the place where I grew up—” She replied, glancing at Y/n who was crouched down to look closer at the jellyfish. It made Chaewon crouch down too beside the girl, the calmness of the moment, all the moments she had with Y/n filled that empty spot slowly. She assumed that it was because Y/n was the first one to make her feel welcomed and at home whether with words or actions.

It could have been anyone, but she was lucky enough to land on Y/n in the school.

“It will always be my home, Long Island is great but it will never be the place where I grew up.” So much for being a closed-off person, it felt like she was knocking over glasses filled with water when she was with Y/n from how much she so easily let spill from her mouth. She couldn’t seem to seek solace in anyone else.

“It won’t be the same when you visit home now if you leave, will it?” Chaewon rested her arms over her knees and rested her cheek on top of them to keep her gaze on Y/n instead of the jellies. It made her smile at how understood she felt by the girl. It warmed her that the cheerleader did her best to understand even if she had lived in Long Island since she was born.

Chaewon pursed her lips at the smile that grew, the heat that warmed her cheeks and the way her heart started to race. “It won’t unfortunately.” She mumbled, watching how the blue light illuminated Y/n’s beauty, letting her know that there was beauty everywhere in the world and not just where her home was.

Y/n made her heart jump when she was caught looking at the girl, however, she couldn’t look away. The cheer captain didn’t seem to mind being more interesting than the exhibit was to Chaewon.

“We will help you create enough memories during senior year so you have something to come back to and reminisce about.” That was where Chaewon hoped that all her new friends would come in and help, especially Y/n who she hoped she had a chance with. It would be memorable and something she would want to come back to if she was with someone who lived all their life in the state.

“That would be great.” The cheer captain nodded at her words, looking back at the tank with the jellyfish.

“Where are you going after the school year ends?”

“I’m hoping to get scouted by UCLA, that’s where I want to apply either way.” Her words made Y/n look right back at her with a small smile.

“Maybe some of us were destined to meet or we would be brought to each other by fate, depending on what you believe in.”

“Why’s that?” Chaewon questioned, getting back up on her feet as Y/n stood up.

“We’re applying for the same school, Yunjin is hoping for the same as you. So maybe if you hadn’t moved here, we would still meet if we got into the same university—” She walked beside the girl, their shoulders and fingers brushed against each other, making Chaewon grab onto the material of her hoodie. “You know the whole ‘brought to each other by fate’ or ‘destined to meet’,” She chuckled at Y/n’s words, assuming that the girl had no clue how much more they fueled Chaewon.

What if it was meant to be? Chaewon had heard that love had its ways of bringing people who are made for each other together. Maybe that was why she grew attracted the second she saw Y/n. Was it the same for Y/n? What if Y/n would be the one she was going to fall in love with? Her heart started to beat tenfold, her silly little crush growing more serious with each second she thought about it.

It would be best if she stopped indulging in superstitions before she hurt herself.

“How are they coming out?”

Chaewon chuckled as she looked at the latest picture, moving her phone away when the cheerleader tried to get a peek at her screen. “There’s no deleting any.” She established first as she found every picture of the girl overly perfect and memorable. Photogenic was yet another thing the girl was.

Y/n was perfect; it could be Chaewon’s heart eyes, but there truly wasn’t anything to dislike about the girl. There was beauty on the outside which was the first thing Chaewon caught onto when looking at Y/n when she first stepped out onto the field on her first day and then she noticed the beauty on the inside when Y/n first spoke to her and made her feel at home.

“That means that they are bad,” Y/n complained, making her shake her head in disagreement.

“The opposite, I don’t think it’s possible to get a bad picture of you.” It made her laugh when Y/n at last managed to grab hold of her forearm and she let the girl overpower her, bringing down her hand with the phone. Her free hand went up to the girl’s head, petting along the plush penguin beanie the cheerleader had on her head that Chaewon bought for her on their way out of the aquarium.

“You’re being bold today.”

“It’s easier when you look this cute and less intimidating.” She mumbled before flicking the beak of the penguin and taking her phone away from Y/n. Chaewon looked down at her phone and the lock screen flashed open with a new wallpaper. A picture Y/n had taken when she was busy looking at the girl’s beanie, petting her head and Y/n pouting at the camera.

“The cost of keeping those pictures is me and you as your lock screen–” She smiled at those words, something she found herself doing with just the thought of the girl who stood in front of her. “You look cute all engrossed by my beanie.” It made Chaewon look down at her feet and her shoulders slump inwards as she put her phone back into her pocket at those words.

Y/n called her cute.

If only she knew that she was all engrossed by her and not the beanie.

She glanced over at the river they were walking alongside and she thought about it for a second. Just a second and not any longer because if she spent a second longer she would end up overthinking and backing out.

“Y/n…”

“Yeah?” She heaved a sigh as she looked at the cheerleader in front of her. Hands started to nervously twist the material inside her pockets while looking at Y/n who had the sun gently casting its rays on her skin. Her eyes sparkled, dimples prominent as she kept a small smile on her lips while looking Chaewon in the eye–Chaewon trying her best to keep eye contact–waiting.

“Would you mind thinking of this as a date rather than a hangout?” Chaewon’s heart was beating in her ears and she felt like she would get a heatstroke from the waves of warmth that covered her face.

If she hadn’t been gripping inside her pockets her fingers would be trembling with anxiety. This was the boldest and most straightforward she had possibly been and it was twisting her stomach.

“I have to be honest…” That worry grew with those words coming from Y/n. Her eyes widened in fear of rejection and she was starting to regret that she even asked to begin with. Was this it?

“I kind of figured those were the intentions when you insisted on paying and handling everything.”

Chaewon exhaled deeply, relaxing her body while her heart continued to pound because it had yet to calm down like the rest of her. Maybe she had been obvious enough without having to say it. She didn’t manage to utter a single word, still trying to collect herself from the fears she faced while watching Y/n grab hold of the flaps of the beanie while staring up at her.

“What kind of date?”

Chaewon had practised this answer because she didn’t want to move too fast or too slow. After all, there was no way she was the only one in the entire school who was interested in Y/n.

She cleared her throat, getting rid of the trembling it would possibly do.

“A no-pressure date where you don’t have to think about where it’s heading, but rather to get to know each other without having to think about whether you like me or not and just get close for the first few ones before you think about the rest to know for sure if you want anything more or not.”

She was sure that no matter how many times she practised it, she still ended up rambling because she felt out of breath at the end of her sentence. Her wide eyes laid on Y/n, expectant, hoping that what she had said made sense because it did in her head. It did earn her a small giggle which she hoped meant that she was doing something right.

“Okay, but there’s one thing.”

“Of course.” She had never agreed as quickly before, feeling the giddiness grow within her while biting on her lower lip to stop herself from grinning.

“Nothing gets awkward if you ask me to date you and I reject you for any reason. I also think it will be better if you don’t ask for reasons so it doesn’t ruin anything.”

“You sound set on rejecting me. You don’t have to agree out of pity.” Her hands came out of her pockets, pulling her sleeves down and squeezing them to get rid of the clamminess on her palms. She proceeded to scratch at her neck, her anxious habits kicking in right away as her hands were jittery. The possibility of it being out of pity hung in the air as she watched Y/n shake her head.

“I’m not, I just don’t want a possible friendship getting ruined if it doesn’t come to anything.” She could get behind that considering they were still getting to know each other and it could either evolve into a friendship or something more from this point.

“Okay–” A calmness finally washed over her as they stood by the river, taking in a deep breath as she gazed over Y/n’s slightly flushed face before she looked at the hands that were clutching on the flaps of the beanie.

“Can I hold your hand then?” The blushing was starting to get overwhelming for Chaewon, but she couldn’t help but push herself as she was beginning to get comfortable with it the more she did.

“Yeah, what else do you usually initiate on a first date, Chaewon?” Shivers danced along her hot body when Y/n let go of the flaps and slid her hand into Chaewon’s properly for the first time. Her brain ignored all her other worries she had about holding Y/n’s hand as they started to walk, only being able to think about the fact that she was holding her hand.

“Hand holding and hugs…Maybe a kiss on the cheek from you if you enjoyed it.” She mumbled the words into the air as she watched their hands.

“You’re so sly.” Chaewon wanted to squeal–she would once she got home–when Y/n stopped and placed a small peck on her already scorching cheek before she pulled her to continue walking along the lake while holding hands.

Saturday was game day with Chaewon’s first game on the starting lineup and Yunjin wasn’t worried after all the drills they had been practising for the past two weeks. She had other things to worry about even if her priority should be the upcoming games aiming to become state champions to then take part in nationals.

However, Y/n would always come first, especially if it felt like she was on the brink of losing something she didn’t yet have with her but wanted.

“How was yesterday?” Yunjin only managed to have a brief conversation with Y/n about her hangout with Chaewon as the girl was helping her stretch before the game. Honestly, after she got the answer, she didn’t want to talk more about it because her throat closed up with feelings she suppressed and her stomach twisted.

“It was fun, we went to the aquarium, walked along the river, got some snacks and then she drove me home–” Yunjin settled for the answer and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the rest from Y/n but she still did. “She asked if I could think of it as a date instead of a hangout.”

That heavy gloom had washed right over Yunjin, it felt like she was in the deepest parts of a blue sea where it was hard to breathe without it burning her lungs and making her tear up.

“Did you?” She carefully asked to make sure and to mask the quivering in her voice.

“Yeah, it’s just to get to know each other first without thinking about what’s next.”

“Do you think there will be more?” Yunjin wasn’t sure why she asked because she knew that she would shed that gloom that coated her if Y/n answered with something she dreaded hearing. All she got was a moment of silence as Y/n looked up at her in thought, tilting her head as she shrugged.

“If it happens it happens naturally and at its own pace so I can’t say much.”

Was this Yunjin’s shot to still have her chance with Y/n?

It was never too late for love, was it?

Yet her mouth was stapled shut and the more dates she watched Chaewon take Y/n on the more frustrations stored themselves behind that locked door of emotions. It was hurting to hold it closed. All those frustrations were towards herself and she didn’t think she could have taken them out on someone else.

They were getting the best of her.

“What is up with you, Huh Yunjin?” She could only stare down at her hands as she sat in her coach’s office after practice.

Yes, they were on a 5 - 0 - 0 winning streak, but Yunjin knew that she was slacking and it was just like the coach said; “You are physically on the field, but where’s your head?” Her head was stuck on her best friend possibly falling for someone who wasn’t her, her head was stuck on thinking about losing someone she loved to Chaewon.

“I’m sorry coach, I will get myself together for the next game.” She apologised, ready to stand up and as she did she was stopped.

“If you don’t I won’t have a choice but to bench you and make Chaewon the captain.”

Yunjin knew that it was all her fault. She should be able to put up that facade she had made when she was on the field to not let her emotions get the best of her when playing.

It was impossible to put away the mess of emotions inside her though and even hanging out with Y/n wasn’t making them go away. All she could think about was how her world was starting to crumble.

Would Chaewon unintentionally take everything away from her simply because she couldn’t keep her composure and untie her tongue?

That seemed to be the last straw and the door burst open at the worst moment possible.

The second half was almost halfway done, 0 - 0 and she could feel the pressure of her complicated emotions and the coach’s words together with an expectant crowd. Was she just about to lose again? That anger she had towards herself for not being able to do what she needed was starting to seep through and make her take it out the wrong way.

Yunjin found it unfair; she had been playing for ages for the school’s team and was being threatened with being replaced by Chaewon. It felt even more unfair that someone she had known for years and loved for almost just as many would be Chaewon’s. The situation she was in was against her and it wasn’t fair considering the amount of love she had for Y/n.

The ball was passed to Chaewon as they were attacking the goal, at least the intention from the midfielder was to pass it to Chaewon who would forward the ball to the captain for an assist. That was until Yunjin’s overwhelming emotions got the best of her and she stole the ball right before it touched the second striker’s foot. It caused her shoulder to bump into Chaewon’s. It was harsh enough to have Chaewon almost stumble to the grass, barely catching herself with the tips of her fingers while continuing towards the goal.

At the back of her head, Yunjin still remembered her words and her morals; she would always prioritise the whole team to make sure they won over her desires.

That wasn’t the case this time because if it hadn’t been for Yunjin’s anger that turned her selfish they would have scored. What they got in return was the captain getting squeezed by two defenders and tumbling onto the grass before the whistle was blown and their chance of scoring was lost.

The wet grass she had fallen onto left a taste of metallic anguish in her mouth while the scent of dirt lingered by her nose. The force had left her lungs to burn, but she was overwhelmed by her frustrations to feel the actual pain.

“Are you okay? What was that about?”

She harshly wiped the sweat off her brow to not get any in her eyes and her hard glare landed on Chaewon who was panting for air while extending her hand to help the captain up.

The girl was nothing but a good sport even if what happened wasn’t slightly her fault. Everything was Yunjin’s fault and always would be, wouldn’t it? Losing her title, losing the girl she loved, and wasting opportunities; were all Yunjin’s fault.

Confusion lingered in Chaewon’s gaze as Yunjin shoved her hand away. “Leave me alone, Chaewon.” Yunjin wished and hoped that the girl would disappear fully from her life no matter how perfect she was. It only made her wish that much more for the girl to disappear as she got up on her own, holding onto her knees as she leaned over.

Yunjin tightly shut her eyes, trying to muffle everything and everyone, feeling the tears trickle from her eyes as they stung her warm cheeks. The team surrounded her, worrying pats on her back and questions were thrown her way. She did it all on her own and she knew it. Yunjin spat out the blood in her mouth as she bit into her lip when colliding with the grass.

The only thing that snapped her out of it was the coach’s voice and she shrugged everyone off of her. Her shoulder once again bumped Chaewon’s who she didn’t spare a second glance at while wiping the blood off her lip. The lump was hurting her throat, making her want to burst out in tears the same second she reached the woman in front of her.

“You’re off the field, I will talk with you after.” Yunjin scoffed, ready to walk towards the bench. “Kim!” She was stopped though as her shoulder was grabbed and she looked at her coach.

“I told you about the consequences, Huh, hand the armband over to Kim.”

Her jaw clenched, fighting the tears that wanted to spill as she felt blow after blow hit her where it hurt the most with things she loved the most.

Yunjin’s trembling fingers tore the armband off of her as she snivelled and turned just in time as Chaewon jogged over to them. She didn’t say a word nor did she wait for what Chaewon had to say as she opened her mouth; Yunjin shoved it into the girl’s chest with a huff, making Chaewon stumble before it fell to the grass and she walked away.

It was somewhere between humiliating and not as her emotions blinded her while she walked off the field and past the bleachers, past everyone she knew and she didn’t stop. Yunjin couldn’t stop because the closer to the lockers that she got the more sobs started to spill from her lips.

There was nothing else that she wanted to do but to love Y/n yet she hated how love made her feel like she was floating and then as if she was falling on her way to crash to her death.

She had yet to cry about it, Yunjin had been suppressing every little bit of pain she had felt, and she had been suffering without shedding any tears. It was something she had gotten good at just like she was good at suppressing her feelings, letting them build up inside until she was choking on them. Her choked sobs echoed through the empty locker room as she cried into her palms, sitting on the bench.

“Jen…Can I come in?”

She looked up, her eyes falling on the door where Y/n’s soft voice came from behind. Yunjin snivelled, trying to figure out if seeing Y/n would make her feel better or worse. She knew that it would be the first, but she also knew it would push her tears further. The striker wiped at her eyes while mumbling a loud enough ‘yeah’ to her best friend.

What she knew was that Y/n wouldn’t come in and assume how she was feeling, she wouldn’t pity her, she wouldn’t lie to her, and she wouldn’t invalidate the way she felt. Y/n would offer her comfort, let her find solace in her and simply listen to her.

The problem was that she couldn’t tell Y/n how she felt, there was nothing she could let off her chest when it all was about the cheerleader whose shoulder she was crying on.

“Do you need anything?” Yunjin shook her head as she didn’t want anything but Y/n who was right beside her. It made her body shake as she cried, aware of the fact that she was crying because she finally had a way of letting out all these suppressed feelings and that what happened was the final push.

She couldn't hold it anymore, it was making her body tremble and she felt weak because of the exhaustion she felt from holding everything to herself.

Her eyes stayed shut as she cried in the crook of Y/n’s neck with her fingers tangled in the girl’s top. She dwelled in the feeling of Y/n rubbing her back with one hand as the other gently massaged her scalp. Yunjin knew that she would never lose this, but she would never be able to call Y/n hers and that brought her pain even if Y/n could soothe it.

“I’m always here for you, I will always listen to whatever you have on your mind, Jen, I’m here to just be a shoulder to cry on too.”

She took in shuddering breaths, trying her best to calm down as she listened to the girl’s words, but somehow they made it worse. The kinder Y/n was, the more she cared; the more Yunjin fell and the harder the impact of the fall was. It hurt to fall because she didn’t tell Y/n the truth and had no one to catch her.

“I hate it when you cry, Jen. I don’t want to see you hurting.” Yunjin knew that Y/n wasn’t stupid. One thing Yunjin knew was that her best friend knew her well enough to know that more than what happened on the field bothered her.

It was enough for Yunjin to find the comfort that she needed without having to tell Y/n what it was because the girl was aware that it was more even if she didn’t know exactly what it was.

“Thank you…” She mumbled, slowly pulling away from the girl as she wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks.

There was so much she wanted to thank Y/n for, there was so much she wanted to tell her yet when she looked up from her lap and at her best friend she couldn’t bring herself to risk it. Her lips parted and they meekly left her lips, moving but barely as she couldn’t tell them loud enough for anyone but her soul to hear.

She watched how the corners of Y/n’s lips tugged up and the girl reached her hand up to her face. It made Yunjin’s ears ring from how her heart started to beat. “You’re so stupid, Jen–” A breathless chuckle left Y/n’s lips and the ginger swallowed, her eyes not being able to meet Y/n’s gaze. After all, it always felt like they were trying to tempt Yunjin, trying their best to coax those suppressed feelings out.

Y/n made it feel like the easiest thing in the world; there was no one easier to love than Y/n and so those words were easy to say to the girl.

Yunjin was the one who made it the most difficult thing in the world; there was nothing harder than risking someone so easy to love.

“It’s gonna be swollen, idiot.” Yunjin winced, pulling her face away from Y/n’s hold after the girl's thumb pushed against the side of her lower lip. The pain only kicked in now as she looked at the little blood it left on Y/n’s thumb.

“I’m sorry for being tackled, I guess.” She grumbled, making Y/n roll her eyes.

There was yet another knock on the door that interrupted them and Y/n stood up, walking over to the door. The ginger watched her open the door which made her look down when she saw who was on the other side.

“I will be back with ice.” Chaewon nodded at the girl who gave her a small smile as she grabbed the door to hold it while Y/n stepped outside. Her eyes stayed on the cheer captain for a second who walked away before she stepped inside and let the door fall closed.

There was an awkward tension lingering in the air as she leaned against the door and finally looked at Yunjin who was staring down at the tiled floor under her cleats. Chaewon cleared her throat as she was there for two reasons. There was no way she could just let this go, not after what happened on the field.

Chaewon took a seat beside Yunjin, her hands holding onto the edge of the bench as she looked at her cleats. With a deep breath that she released right after she looked at the girl who was still avoiding looking at her.

“Yunjin, did I do something?” There was no reason to wait around because no one would fix this for them. Chaewon didn’t like where it had ended because she hadn’t even known it was heading this way. As far as she knew there was no bad blood between them, however, she had a hunch about what it could be from Yunjin’s side.

“What?” The girl finally looked up, her lashes still wet, the blood dry on the corner of her lip. Chaewon pursed her lips, feeling sympathy for what her teammate and friend went through, from the fall to being ripped off the title of the team captain in front of everyone.

“I feel like that anger was aimed at me and I’m not sure what I did, however, I’m willing to apologise if I truly did something to upset you.” She didn’t know exactly what it was, she could assume, but she wanted to know exactly what it was from Yunjin herself. Chaewon was willing to apologise for it because she could tell that it was more than the frustrations of pressure and feeling the need to win the game.

Chaewon pissed Yunjin off with how nice she was, with how good she was because all Yunjin wanted to do was resent her, but it was impossible to resent someone who hadn’t done anything and was clueless about Yunjin’s feelings for the cheerleader. Y/n herself didn’t know.

Her eyes looked over Chaewon as they stared at each other in silence.

Yunjin huffed and looked away, wiping away the remnants of tears on her lashes. The momentary silence let her consider what she should tell the girl. The consideration of telling Chaewon the truth about being in love with Y/n laid heavily on the scale as she wanted to lean towards it.

“Is it about Y/n?” Chaewon scratched at the back of her neck as Yunjin looked back at her after she broke the silence between them. She couldn’t help but feel like it could have been about the girl she liked.

She cleared her throat as Yunjin was looking at her with wide yet confused eyes. The words that she pushed out from between her lips weren’t easy to say aloud even if it was easy to like Y/n.

Chaewon still did it, “I like her, yes, but I’m not trying to hog or steal your best friend. I’m sorry if I may have been taking away from your time together, but those aren’t my intentions…Y/n will always be your best friend and I will never try to replace that.” Her hands dropped to her lap as she looked between them and Yunjin.

Chaewon was aware of how much time she had been spending with Y/n both at school and outside of it whether they were planned dates or spontaneous hangouts. It wasn’t intentional; she liked Y/n and was trying her best to get to know her and possibly spark interest from the cheerleader’s side too. They had known each other for a good two months and she hoped to soon enough take the next step.

Yunjin sighed and looked in front of her to blink away the tears that wanted to fall again as those emotions were still faintly swirling around her head. That was the problem, wasn’t it? She would always be Y/n’s best friend. That was exactly the problem and she hated it even if she cherished the fact that Y/n was her best friend and the other way around.

“It’s–It’s not that Chaewon, we still hang out like we used to–” This was her chance even if it would be selfish to say it now that the girl beside her had been seeing Y/n. It would either spark competition between them or make Chaewon step back.

It still came with the same risks, the ones that made her overthink and back down. “It’s just the stress getting to me with these games, aiming for nationals and hopefully getting scouted along the way.” Her hands gripped the material of her shorts, angry with herself once again for refusing to say what she wanted. She would only be able to blame herself once it would be too late.

“Okay, I was worried it might’ve been that. I’m trying my best and hoping that she likes me enough so that I can ask her out to officially date…You think she would say yes?”

Chaewon was making it hard to stay collected once again and she managed to pull off a smile through the stinging in her chest.

“There’s only one way to find out, Chaewon.” The girl beside her let out a breathless chuckle as she nodded while Yunjin felt stupid for saying those words to someone else, but yet she refused to listen to them herself.

“Also.” She looked up at Chaewon who got up to stand in front of her.

“I loved being captain back in Austin, but I could never accept this–” She watched her tear off the armband with the C on it before she held it out in front of Yunjin. “You’re a great captain Yunjin, you deserve to have it more than me or anyone else on the team. I never wanted to put it on, especially not that way…I will talk to the coach.”

“Thank you, Chaewon.”

If only she could curse Chaewon out for making everything so much harder as she accepted the captain's armband back.

Despite the small commotion on the field, they had won 1 - 0.

Chaewon couldn’t help but feel like each day everything about this transfer felt better and brighter. She missed home, her old friends and everything else, but it all was being filled. It was a drastic change she thought would cause more damage than good however, she had been wrong.

After every game they won they found themselves at the beach and this time was no different. It served as a way for her to take time and reflect and see where she was now compared to when she was at the beach for the first time after just starting.

It felt less empty, there wasn’t as much confusion, she felt that emptiness within her after leaving a part of herself behind slowly get filled; building a new part in its place. There was a new home being built in her, that fear of alienation disappearing and she now longed after the familiarity of the new people she had grown close to. They were the ones who made her feel at home.

Home is where the heart lies; Chaewon never left her heart back in Austin.

She was feeling quite at home, slowly finding a place to call home as she leaned back against her palms, Y/n leaning against her shoulder that was behind the cheer captain. It had taken less than a month to find a place to settle in and around two months to settle and let her heart pump warmth to keep her home warm. It made Chaewon smile at how naturally it was all falling into place.

The gentle crackling of the fireplace filled the air together with talk and laughter from the rest. The scent of the fire wasn’t as overwhelming when Y/n rested her head on her shoulder, her arm resting over Chaewon’s leg and fingers drawing circles on her knee.

The cheerleader talked to the others while Chaewon rested her cheek against Y/n’s, letting the sweet scent and warmth in. It had become her new favourite one; it was the only one she knew just by entering a room right after the girl. It let her know that she would feel at home.

“The starry sky suits you.” She mumbled, feeling the girl who was leaning against her chuckle.

“Are you trying to disgust Yeonjun?” Chaewon huffed at that and looked over at the guy who was already making a face at their closeness.

“He’s the biggest anti-romantic on this planet.” Her eyes fell on Y/n who looked up at her with a teasing smile.

“So you’re trying to be romantic?”

“If it’s working, then yes.” She smiled as Y/n giggled and looked back at Jimin and Kazuha who called for her attention. Her heart raced with warmth as she watched Y/n continue to trace patterns along her knee while talking.

Chaewon knew that there was no need to wait any longer, there was a garden of feelings growing in her chest for Y/n and she needed to let them out before she would suffocate. She needed to tell Y/n how she felt before she could start hurting from suppressing it in her.

Yunjin found herself walking back towards her group of friends after trailing off and standing alone in the cold sand with the wind blowing through what felt like holes in her body. Those same holes were ones she filled with the love she had for Y/n, the same feelings she suppressed until she was choking on them.

It took her all these years to realise that the longer she refused to express her feelings towards the girl the more it would hurt, it would hurt whether or not anyone else was in the picture or not.

It was a punishment for keeping it inside her when she could have let her feelings grow because they were beautiful yet she suppressed them and let them cramp up inside her until it was burning her lungs.

Each time her throat closed up was because of something she felt but refused to say.

Love didn’t have to be painful, it had all along been her choice to make it hurt.

Yunjin had been hurting herself.

Her eyes scanned her group of friends, her hands in her pockets as she poked her tongue at the wound on the side of her lip. She knew that the heavy beating she felt in her chest mixed with an acidic sting when her eyes landed on her best friend and Chaewon could turn into the former alone if she confessed her love.

Yunjin realised that even if she were to get rejected it wouldn’t hurt as much to see Y/n with someone else after. She realised where the problem lay; it was suppressing her feelings that hurt and not fearing them.

The only cure to be able to breathe normally again was to let her feelings flow out through her mouth instead of cramping them inside her lungs. She knew despite everything there was only one choice.

Yunjin walked over to the two as there was only one spot left which was beside Y/n who was wearing the captain’s varsity jacket; two, Chaewon’s resting in the girl’s lap. The longer she stared at the campfire in front of her the hotter her eyes felt as the realisation was starting to lift weights off of her chest and she knew what she truly had to do.

It all opened up her cramped space for those feelings in her chest, growing like a floral garden, each petal, each flower being something she felt for Y/n. It was all the flowers she wanted to give to the girl and she knew that she would as she felt Y/n’s pinky intertwine with hers on the blanket.

Yunjin wasn’t going to wait any longer as she glanced at Y/n, knowing that it was the girl she wanted to give all the flowers in the world to. All those flowers she had been dying from because of how much it all had grown in her chest without giving what she should have given to Y/n ages ago.

She was in love with her best friend and she was done with suppressing what was beautiful.

Remnants of adrenaline coursed through Yunjin’s body as they officially made it to the quarter-finals. Her heart continued to pound even after she had changed and she knew that it was more than just the high of qualifying. She had hurt enough because of love and she wanted to continue to love without the part where it hurt every time she didn’t express herself.

It felt like time was ticking away, especially after seeing how much closer Chaewon was to the girl yet Yunjin couldn’t help but feel like there was something between her and Y/n. That she hadn’t been living in a make-believe world this whole time and that their skinny love was true and Yunjin would take the step to turn it into love.

The only thing she was losing was time she could have loved Y/n in more than silence.

“Okay, I’m just gonna find my dad to get the keys to his car.” Yunjin looked over her shoulder as she pulled her varsity jacket out of her locker to see Chaewon sling her duffle bag over her shoulder. She gave Chaewon a terse smile when the girl sent her one first before averting her gaze.

“I will meet you at the parking lot after.”

“I will try to make it on time.” The second striker chuckled at Yujin’s words who walked after her with crutches. Chaewon opened the door and held it for the injured girl before leaving in a hurry. The door fell closed after them, the rest of the team keeping up their chatter.

Yunjin slung the bag over her shoulder and held the jacket under her arm to give it to Y/n like she always did. This time she hoped she could give it without it being platonic. With that, she bid goodbye to whoever she wasn’t going to see later and left the locker room.

She walked through the empty halls of the sports wing, hoping to bump into Y/n while she rummaged for her phone in the bag. Undoubtedly it felt like she was about to have a heart attack with how much it hurt when her heart started colliding with her ribcage, a faint lightheadedness clouding her as she did her best to take deep breaths.

This wasn’t because she was afraid to express her feelings anymore, but because she was finally going to take the step to do something she had wanted for years. This was the excitement that was so similar to the fear that she almost mixed it up once again.

Yunjin couldn’t waste more time, Y/n wasn’t someone she wanted to make wait when she deserved every last drop of love Yunjin could give her.

The lack of a reply was making Yunjin’s nerves spike because she wanted to do it now and not wait a second longer. To get all these fears behind. Her fingers fidgeted with the jacket in her hands, glancing at her phone as she waited for a reply, aware that the girl often took longer in the changing room or wouldn’t have her phone right at hand.

It wasn’t the first time Yunjin waited for a reply, but this time felt like ages as she leaned against the wall not far from the entrance of the basketball court. It was making her jittery, shifting on her legs as it was hard to stand still with all those petals and flowers tickling her stomach and lungs; Yunjin would burst if she wouldn’t let these things flow out for Y/n to hear at last.

Her phone screen lit up and she looked towards the entrance of the basketball court that burst open to see the cheerleader walk out with her eyes on the phone screen. Yunjin pushed herself up from the wall, her hands clutching onto the jacket to occupy her fingers and hold onto something to not back down once again.

“Jen!” She smiled as Y/n looked up from the phone and caught her presence right away.

“Congratulations on qualifying, you guys did so well. You were perfect on the field.” Yunjin bit down on her lower lip at the words that were causing everything to overgrow in her chest. She could feel it pushing up by force this time, the garden didn’t want to wait; it was too beautiful to keep cramped up inside her. She needed to let Y/n know how much she loved her.

How in love she was.

“Thank you, we did our best, but–” The captain cleared her throat, feeling all those familiar feelings and pains she usually did because of how she suppressed her words. This time it came with reassurance to herself that she was going to do it.

She took a deep breath as Y/n tilted her head, a small frown of confusion and Yunjin felt it all wash over her, this time melting and letting herself get coaxed by Y/n’s beautiful eyes when the cheerleader grabbed hold of her hands. That reassuring warmth of Y/n’s touch she always felt and got from the girl reminded her of how it would be fine.

It was clear to Yunjin that her overwhelmed body and nervousness lingered in the air and that Y/n could sense it. This time she let herself get lost in the comfort, the solace and trust Y/n brought her.

“There’s this thing I really want to tell you, Y/n.” She got a nod in response, thumbs brushing over her knuckles and she slid one hand out of Y/n’s grasp to nervously play with the pendant of her necklace.

Yunjin could feel her mind drift off and she was aware that it would be a blur until it was over as she cleared her throat once again to try and get rid of the scratching she felt because of her nerves.

“Anything, Jen.”

“There’s so much that I want to tell you and have wanted to say probably since we started high school, and I have always hesitated for even more reasons…” Her eyes searched for something to look at yet all she could look at was Y/n who was right in front of her. That frown on her face slowly disappeared the more Yunjin managed to ramble and push out, hoping that somewhere between these lines the words ‘I’m in love with you’ would come out.

The pounding of her heart was muffling everything for her and it was warm. “I think that the biggest is the fact that you’re my best friend and I would never want to ruin that in any way.”

She released yet another sigh and let her hand fall, clutching onto the side of her jeans. Yunjin couldn’t remember if she had ever been this anxious, the heat was coursing up to her face and ears and there was a faint buzzing in her ears. This was Yunjin facing her biggest fears and she knew that once she did it she would feel ecstatic.

“It’s just that–It’s really hard to keep it to myself and I managed to keep it for years now. But, I can’t keep doing that because I always end up…hurting.” She inhaled once again, forgetting to breathe between her sentences. It was overwhelming with how much was on the line and she felt like crying because of the waves of emotions washing over her without a stop.

She was desperate to tell Y/n that she was in love and even more desperate for the girl to feel the same. The longer it took the more her voice quivered and she still fought to avoid these negative thoughts and doubts that tried to hit her like they always did.

Her mind was in too big of a daze to take her time and read Y/n’s expression, the girl was looking at her with those usual soft eyes, letting her know that it was fine. That was all Yunjin needed to know to continue talking.

It would be fine and Y/n would never hurt her.

“There’s so much and I don’t know what to start with or what exactly to say, but the thing I’ve always wanted to say the most, knowing that I can trust you as my best friend is that,” her last breath and it was right at the tip of her tongue.

Y/n was her best friend and she could always trust her with anything and it would never matter what it was. Yunjin knew that she could trust her with her feelings and heart and tell her those words.

“Y/n, I’m painfully in–”

“I found the keys. I dropped them under one of the benches.”

It made Yunjin flinch when the door to the basketball court flew open, her heart hammering so quickly it was making her nauseous and she felt like fainting. Her blurred vision cleared as it landed on Chaewon who walked out from the court. The hold on her hand disappeared as Y/n looked over her shoulder at the other soccer player who walked towards them.

Yunjin’s lips parted as did Y/n’s who was about to reply to Chaewon who walked up to them, fixing the duffle bag slung across her chest. Was she supposed to ask Chaewon to leave so she could continue?

She was right there, she had practically said those words and it was the closest she had ever been. Yunjin was about to grasp her dream, she was so close that she was touching it with the tips of her fingers.

Could she ask Chaewon who wrapped her arm around Y/n’s waist with an even bigger and giddier smile to leave? Yunjin did everything in her power to avoid looking at Y/n, being able to feel the girl’s gaze on her face. It finally settled in her head that Y/n was already wearing a jacket; Chaewon’s jacket.

“I got the courage and asked Y/n out, so we’re officially dating now.” It made Yunjin let out a breath as she nodded along to the information. She bit her lower lip, digging her teeth into it to prevent her eyes from getting wet. She was doing everything in her power to distract herself to not let herself shed tears.

Yunjin kept her composure during one of the worst moments of her life yet everything on the inside was suffocating her, it was growing around her heart. Yunjin could feel the thorns from the garden dig into the muscle making it bleed out and everything felt lifeless and heavy around her. So close, but her dream slipped right through her fingers.

There was one thing Yunjin couldn’t forget though, not in this moment or any other moment because Y/n always came first. It didn’t matter how much Yunjin was hurting, if she was being swallowed by pain, being torn apart from the inside with a lump in her throat that made it ache.

It didn’t matter if she felt like crying, she could wait just like she had done all these years. The worst that could happen if she waited was that she would drown in misery, but she had grown used to it, hadn’t she?

“That’s—I’m happy for you two.” She would always remember to be happy for Y/n. Y/n’s happiness would forever be Yunjin’s happiness even if the cheerleader's happiness was making her nose prickle and her eyes sting, unable to breathe from the tight grip those thorny stems had on her heart, squeezing.

Her dream had always been to make Y/n happy and dreams meant sacrificing even if it was a piece of herself. There was nothing greater she could sacrifice for Y/n than her heart in the end.

Yunjin glanced over to Y/n at last, feeling pain shoot through her heart and she hugged the jacket closer to her to try and ease it. She looked away from Y/n’s face, those beautiful eyes holding nothing but concern now.

Yunjin decided that it would be best if she and hopefully Y/n forgot that she even started this conversation. It was the day her world crumbled into dust in the end and she didn’t want to remember that.

She would rather remember it as the day Y/n found happiness in someone even if it wasn’t Yunjin.

Yunjin wanted to remember how much she loved Y/n and not the moment her heart broke because she loved her.

“We’re taking my dad's truck. Want a ride or…” Her eyes nervously darted around as they fell on Chaewon who still had a smile on her face. She opened her mouth and searched for words all while feeling everything within her slowly go numb from pain the longer they stood in front of her.

“Oh, I’m–no, it’s fine, I have my car.” Her voice couldn’t stop trembling and her gaze fell to the floor at last, unable to look Chaewon and especially not Y/n in the eye. It was all crashing down on her and she knew that she would break any second.

“Okay, see you there then, Yunjin.” She nodded her head and stepped aside, stopping by the wall as they walked past her.

Yunjin bit her lower lip as her breathing picked up and the prickling in her nose was painful enough for the tears to fall at last. The bag on her shoulder slid down and she let it fall to the floor as she leaned against the wall to try and ground herself. She snivelled and wiped at her eyes with the jacket she planned to give to Y/n and her gaze still fell on them as she hugged it closer for comfort because she couldn’t go to Y/n with this anguish.

She watched her friend and best friend walk away, taking a turn and Y/n’s worried eyes met hers for a split second when the girl looked over her shoulder before disappearing.

There was no holding back as she slid down the wall and pulled her knees to her chest, burying her face into the jacket while hugging them to seek some type of solace and salvation for the pain. Her tears hot tears spilled onto the jacket that she had saved for Y/n, but would now only serve to soak up tears.

If only she had found Yn first. She had because she had found Y/n years ago, but Chaewon was the one to finish first. Yunjin had been stalling all these years and when she finally decided that she was going to get Yn, someone swept the girl away right before her eyes. She had loved Y/n for all those years and now she would have to live with the regret of not telling her right from the start.

She could silently brew resentment towards Chaewon for sweeping the person she had built dreams around right from under her feet.

Or maybe she should be thankful to Chaewon for saving her from possibly losing her best friend. One she would never be able to replace if her confession went wrong or even if it went right. She was sure that her best friend would stay no matter what because she could trust Y/n. Yet she tried to convince herself that she couldn’t know that and that it had been reasonable to hold back.

She knew that it hadn’t been, she just wanted to ease the way her heart was beingtormented.

The worst part wasn’t that she was too late though, but that she would never get to know if Y/n felt the same. If all those gestures were friendly or if they held a deeper meaning like Yunjin’s did. The worst part was that Yunjin would never get to know if they could ever have been more than best friends.

It was all Yunjin’s fault.

masterlist

a/n note; hi if you made it to the end :) thank you for reading/reblogging/leaving a note and appreciating my work. it means so much and motivates me further as i always try my best, hoping you peeps liked it. love you and can't wait to post more for yall <3

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