the infamous 'last sighting of a barbary lion in the wild' photo taken by marcelin flandrin (1925) haunts me to my core. there's something so achingly poetic about it.

I will not be silenced.

I’ve had these concepts in my drafts for almost a year 💀

Oh god, oh fuck, oh no; the parallels between Jean at the beginning of tsc panicking and telling Wymack "I want to go home" and Jean at the end of tsc falling apart after finding out his baby sister has died, telling Neil the same thing.

"I want to go home."

He is only nineteen

would you sit with me in the dark corners of my soul? would you warm my hands when my heart gets cold?

if i believe you - the 1975

*comes running like a mad woman, drops this and leaves*

Tharn! Tharn! Tharn! Are you alright?

THE SIGN ลางสังหรณ์ (2023-2024) dir. A Natthaphong Wongkaweepairod

>be me >leaving work >go to my bike which is in the bike cage, in the office garage >load up my stuff and grab my bike gloves from the front basket >pull right glove on >pull left glove on >left four fingers go in smooth >left thumb hits something SOFT and SQUISHY >aaaaaaaaaa >THROW glove off with reaction and vigor that God previously reserved for Australians toeing a scorpion in their shoe >aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa >thumb of glove on ground is WRIGGLING >aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??? >wrack brain for ANY possibility of anything intentionally in my bike that could have found its way into my glove thumb >nothing >toe glove on ground >twitching >aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa >considering possibilities >larva??? >bee??? >mama spider with a full sack of baby spiders and as soon as I kick the glove even once more all the baby sack spiders are gonna explode out and run up my leg??? >aaaaaaaaa >consider glove a lost cause >consider not needing a glove >pick up glove by middle finger and shake it up and down >nothing >aaaaaaaaaaa >put glove back down >turn on phone light and try to shine it in glove >can't see shit >shake glove again >it's WRIGGLING >don't NEED glove, surely >drop glove again >get better light angle >see something thin and wormy curling out near wrist of glove >mouse?? >mouse >shake glove again and little mouse droppings drop out >feel kinda bad for the mouse but MY GLOVE >put glove back down >aaaaaa >toe at glove >mouse doesn't wanna leave >my GLOVE >consider just leaving it?? in garage?? >toe slightly more aggressively from the fingers to try to convince the mouse it doesn't like the glove thumb >mouse SHOOTS out of glove and scurries off into the garage >.... >my GLOVE.

this might be controversial, but man am i becoming increasingly convinced that buddie trutherism* is just not (and probably never has been) a very healthy way to engage with this show. *to be clear, by this i don't mean shipping buddie, or hoping it'll be canon, or thinking that it could be, i mean the completely unshakeable belief that it is absolutely going to happen (and to a lesser extent that it's always been the plan).

every single piece of evidence for buddie is evidence of a potential, often very compelling potential, but there is really nothing to suggest some big six season plan or any plan at all.

i'm sure a lot of these ppl (maybe even most) aren't bad, or doing anything out of malice. however, i do think having a large chunk of the fandom make post after post, week after week, season after season going "don't worry guys, buddie's definitely happening because of x, y or z," has helped create the current environment. where ppl have spent so long in a bubble where buddie's been presented as the only reasonable outcome, that they can't conceive of the idea they might've been wrong.

atp a lot of buddie meta isn't a queer reading of the show/relationship it's just straight up lies. no tommy isn't a miserable hater who never smiles at his bf, nor is he a predatory freak preying on sweet baby bi buck, and no eddie wasn't jealous at the wedding, no buck didn't realise he was in love with eddie when he came out to him. truly, after a decade in different fandoms, I don't think i've ever seen shipping goggles this bad.

again i don't think the ppl making meta/analysis about things that genuinely have some queer subtext to them are bad or doing anything wrong. but, when a narrative that you're contributing to is feeding into this much wider ecosystem that's influencing others to harass ppl and peddle homophobic dog whistles in an attempt to bridge the gap between their fanon and canon, at what point do you step back and go, "you know what, i don't think it's responsible for me to feed into this anymore."

and i worry that even the people who aren't hurting others with this kind of engagement, are gonna end up hurting themselves in the long run.

the writers were cowards who didn’t understand my vision

astarion is afraid of everyone except you, even when something dark within you is trying to kill him. after staying up all night with you, he opens up to make you feel better about being a monster. because you're both monsters. he promises he's going to be there for you. even if you can't confess and you just cry, astarion tells you that you're not alone. that's he's here for you. with you. together

i'm going to bite god and punch a brick wall

Autumn leaves and poem, surimono by unknown artist, 1897.

not etho wanting to put a lovers bench on the sweetheart path between his and tango's...overlooking the bay...

with a switchback path down to the shore...

that's the prettiest little hideaway date spot

when people act like the only problems kon ever has are a) tim dating bernard and b) lex luthor