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emojiburst · 3 months

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This isn't an emoji, but it's important to me. My niece made a new conscript.

The U is supposed to have a dot, so keep that in mind. Author errors. Anyway, I've been away from her for 4 years. I wanted to do something nice, so I wrote this.

She translated it and wrote back.

Gotta love grammatical errors in another conscript~

Anyway, I'm gonna write in this conscript for the rest of my life. Side note, she wrote this following letter for her best friend, so I guess this is a permanent part of our lives now. (F- good luck to her friend when translating all that).

I just wanted to share because she is literally the sun and stars to me and I love and miss her. I wanted to share a little part of her to everyone. 😭🥹

#not an emoji #I love her #niece #kids #conscript #Kids are fun

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thecatinthestacks · 2 months

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Last year I made a log of my daily thoughts during the book fair and completely forgot to share them.

So please enjoy this extremely belated post about 2023's book fair! :D

DAY ONE

New year, new secretary. I have tactfully requested that she not call the library to ask if I'm ready for customers when the schedule says I'm open. (If the fair opens at 7:30 and it's after 7:30, then it's super-duper obvious I'm open.)

Because EVERY YEAR the secretary calls the library to ask "you ready for customers?", and EVERY YEAR after I wade through a huge crowd of kids to get to the phone, it gets harder and harder to answer politely.

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This year, we're open before the bell. Completely dead in the morning, not a single pre-bell customer. Exactly like I told the principal, who appeared to be disappointed that there wasn’t a rush on the very first day.

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Good news: I finally remembered to ask for seed money before we opened the fair!

Bad news: I forgot to ask for fives and tens and my first customer of the entire fair is paying with a hundred dollar bill.

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Kids used to Scholastic fairs find out that Literati doesn’t sell books with cheap necklaces and erasers attached. Stunned to have to choose books based on their interests. I edge inexorably closer to my “the kids these days” phase.

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Me: “Teachers, please call ahead before you bring your entire class at once.”

Entire Fifth Grade: *turns up at the same time unannounced*

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Fifth grader paying with his own Apple watch asking to return Stranger Things: Kamchatka because “it’s not really Stranger Things, it’s just a ripoff!”

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Me: “Please remember the library is closed because I had to physically remove the check-in computer to make room for the registers.”

Teacher: [keeps sending kids to get new library books anyway]

DAY TWO

No, you can’t use my phone to call your mom to ask for money.

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No, you can't go to the office to call your mom to ask for money.

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How to summon customers- sit down to do one (1) thing. This instantly activates a shopping frenzy.

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Honey, how about you just give me all of your change right now instead of handing me yet another handful every time I finish counting?

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Honey, how about you ask me how much things cost instead of buying one item at a time and seeing how much change you get back?

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Kindergarten Music Program lets out, SWARMS OF PARENTS AND FAMILIES APPEAR! IT'S SUPER PROFITABLE!

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Had to yell at a kid in front of their own mother. (It's okay, she agreed with me that kicking stuff is bad.)

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Kid who returned the Stranger Things book annoyed that his refund hasn't reached his Apple Pay account yet. Purchases a poster instead. I suggest cash next time.

DAY THREE

Principal and counselor bring the webcam in to promote the fair during morning announcements and do the pledges.

Me: *slowly and quietly finishes ringing a child up during the moment of silence, hoping nobody notices*

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I am eternally grateful to my parent volunteer who is able to be here for hours on end and I wish nothing but the best for her and her daughters.

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Pretty sure this fifth grade boy is buying little trinkets to woo the crowd of girls following him. I should probably touch base with his teachers about that.

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I can tell you didn’t even try to read the book you picked. Because it’s in Spanish, that’s why. No, I know you don’t speak Spanish. Because I know your mom, that’s why.

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Kid walks in, instead of shopping waits patiently by the register to ask me “Do I give you my money now?”

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Kid who bought and returned Stranger Things book wants to return poster that is now dinged up.

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To the kid who only has $5 for the week- I feel ya, but no matter how many times you bring me an item and ask "how much?", it doesn't change anything. I've already told you which items are in your price range.

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Have to cut off the Stranger Things kid because he keeps wanting to return things that are no longer in sellable condition. Sorry, bro, this sale is final!

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First Grader: *smugly buying a chapter book she can't read because she knows I can't do anything to stop her*

Me: *sells her the chapter book because she'll be able to read it eventually and maybe the spite will motivate her to practice more*

DAY FOUR

That's it, I’m making a list of basic financial lessons we need to start teaching the kids:

YOU HAVE TO ACCOUNT FOR SALES TAX

No, change is not “extra” money you get as a treat. No, you don’t get to decide how much change you get.

You can’t ignore the numbers after the decimal point. $2.99 does not mean $2.

When a price includes cents, that doesn’t mean you have to have exactly that much in coins. You can simply give me more dollars and then you will get change back.

The answer to “How much can I get with $20?” is “it depends on what you’re buying”.

The answer to “How much do the books cost?" is "it depends on what you're buying".

If you don't have enough money to buy the book you want, you can simply NOT buy anything today and bring the correct amount tomorrow.

...or you can bring three bucks every day, be surprised that the book still costs $10, then spend all your money on erasers and go home and ask for more money...

...okay, seriously I need to make a chart or a TikTok or something to explain this. You're sad you don't have enough money for that Dog Man book, but you brought $3 EVERY DAY and instead of saving it you bought trinkets that you keep losing! I WENT OVER THIS WITH YOU EVERY DAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT ANY EASIER!

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To the 5th grader who only had $5 for the whole week and keeps buying and returning various items and is mystified that this hasn't resulted in him making a profit- I'm cutting you off for your own good, and also I'm sending an email to your math teacher to let her know you may need extra tutoring.

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Book Fair Gift Card: *can only be spent on books*

Kid: *only wants a spy pen*

Me: *agrees to buy him the spy pen myself if he will pick a damn book already!*

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Girl: "I have $15. How much is this?"

Me: "Let's see...with sales tax, it's gonna be ten dollars and eighty-one cents."

Girl: "Oh...I don't have any cents."

Principal: *aghast choking noise*

Me: *quickly defuses the incoming lecture with a Fun Math Lesson!*

DAY FIVE

Time to deploy the annual "We have nothing left under $X. Please don't send kids shopping if they have less than $X." email.

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Gently turning away three dozen kids that have less than $X.

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"If I bring $10, can I come shopping tomorrow?"

"Honey, tomorrow's Saturday."

"Oh. I mean next week."

"Next week is Spring Break."

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Annual tradition of kids being shocked that this is the last day of the book fair despite all the posters and flyers saying the book fair only lasts a week.

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Bonus points for the same kids being shocked every year that the book fair is not permanent addition to the library.

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Volunteer Mom letting her daughters pick out some books to buy.

Her: "How about this one?"

Kid: "No! It's too learny!"

Me: *picked the wrong time to drink water*

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Tracking down teachers to get them to pay for the books they set aside for themselves and their children. Finally down to the last teacher who was going to get a book for her kid. I open the library door to hear him in the middle of a tantrum and her yelling at him...

...I close the library door like "okay, guess he's not getting that book..."

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Re-doing the final accounting because I forgot to factor in the startup cash.

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Re-re-doing the final accounting because I forgot to pull books to purchase for the library

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Going home to put on jammies and sleep for 12 straight hours!

#library things #book fair #kids are fun

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kkoct-ik · 11 months

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i love running clubs for kids (younger teenagers) because some of them are weird and a bit sassy and will turn up late laughing with their friends. and some are consistently helpful most days and will write you 100+ word whatsapp messages apologising for if they need a sick day in advance

#kostik speaks #responding to the grovelling with no problem! your health comes first. rest well #kids are fun #i like their personalities and showing them decency and making sure things are organised #(and bitching lightly about the kids who take the organisation for granted!)#but most are lovely and even the weird ones i find charming <- he is captivated by the joys of being nice to children

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thatonesapphicfilipino · 7 months

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bro i went to a wedding (but only the reception cuz of dance) and yk enjoying the food the speeches the atmosphere with my friends as u do and then me and my friend go into the lobby of the banquet hall and we’re exploring maybe exploring a bit too much a going places we shouldn’t and some of the little kids who were playing in the lobby see my friend peering into a room and ask what she’s doing and i’m like nothing yk just sitting cuz of my fucking heels and then they come over to the area we’re in which is like dark and their parents wouldn’t want them to be there so i’m like “wanna go into the main area” “it’s so dark here” yk the whole nine yards and they’re like “no i like the dark i like scary movies yada yada yada” (i kid u not this kid was right up in my face as she’s saying this) and i’m just walking into the main area hoping they follow yk and then i start playing with them cuz i can say no not even to little kids and look at that all of a sudden i’m babysitting these kids and OMG ONE OF THEM AS A LOLLIPOP FROM THE FUCKING CARPET FLOOR WHREE I BET SOME KID PUT THEIR LIL GRIMMY DAWGS AND NOW ALL THE KIDS (and i) ARE CHASING THIS FUCKING LIKE 2 YEAR OLD AND ONE FO THEM TACKLES THIS BABY TO GET TO LOLLIPOP OUT OF HER MOUTH and like a whoo ton of other shit happened (ex. we were playing bubble gum bubble gum and one kid takes her shoes off other stuff…) very fun low key most eventful part of my day and i was out from like 10:30 AM on a sunday til 9:30/10:00 PM

#kids are fun #mental health is important #tw cursing #honestly so fun tho #also this was all while i was in heels so i was chasing a 2 yo in heels #you don’t suck*

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heymrsamerica · 2 years

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I gave the girls each one of those FAT ass ‘Choose to Smile’ lollipops and I haven’t heard a word in 10 minutes, I’m living the high life.

#kids are fun #it’s even more fun when they’re quiet #and not being quiet simply because they’re messing with something #lol as I typed this Harlow yelled THANK YOU MOMMY #and yeah #I love ‘em🥹

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vamprisms · 1 month

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i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.

#like majority of the time kids are not just 'being naughty'. they have big feelings inside little bodies it's a lot #also like.#it should be illegal to dye your hair fun colours if you aren't prepared for kids in public to ask if youre related to a my little pony #EDIT: the notes on this post are an absolute cesspool. i don't care about your reasons for hating kids you sound like a disney villain

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good-to-drive · 8 months

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It's kinda funny when you get a bunch of likes but no reblogs like I enjoyed your post but I'd prefer if no one else saw it

#kidding obviously #likes are also really nice and fun #shitpost #it's just funny lol

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fox-mulder-gets-pegged · 1 year

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I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.

It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.

#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack #imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother #random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother #bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was #but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that?#anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week #this has been weighing on me for ten years #im almost tempted to blaze this post

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joshuanovy · 17 days

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Welcome to Dad Jokes & Adolescent Antics: Where Parenting Gets Punk'd**

Hey there fellow parents, dads, and anyone who's ever survived a temperamental tween or rebellious teen! Welcome to Dad Jokes & Adolescent Antics, your go-to destination for all things parenting, humor, and surviving the delightful chaos of adolescence. I'm Joshua, a proud dad, husband, and self-proclaimed king of cringe-worthy dad jokes (much to my kids' dismay).

As a dad navigating the minefield of puberty, mood swings, and eye-rolling galore, I've come to appreciate the therapeutic power of laughter—especially when faced with the baffling antics of my adolescent offspring. So, I decided to create this blog as a sanctuary for parents like you and me to commiserate, chuckle, and maybe even learn a thing or two along the way.

Here, you'll find everything from heartwarming anecdotes about the joys of parenting a hormonal hurricane to side-splitting rants about the absurdity of teenage logic (if such a thing even exists). Whether you're knee-deep in teen drama, bracing yourself for the storm, or just here for the laughs, consider this your safe haven in the tumultuous sea of parenting.

But wait, there's more! While Dad Jokes & Adolescent Antics is primarily a place for laughs and relatable parenting moments, I'll also be sharing survival tips, cunning strategies, and possibly some questionable life hacks to help you navigate the treacherous waters of adolescence. From decoding cryptic text messages to mastering the art of selective hearing, consider me your guide through the teenage minefield.

So, grab a snack (preferably one you don't mind sharing with a ravenous adolescent), settle in, and prepare to laugh, cry, and possibly question your life choices as we embark on this wild ride together. And hey, if you have any hilarious parenting stories or dad jokes of your own, I'd love to hear them—after all, misery loves company, right?

Stay tuned for more humor, heart, and maybe even a few affiliate marketing tips (don't worry, I'll sneak them in when the kids aren't looking). Until next time, remember: when life gives you eye-rolls, make dad jokes!

Cheers,

Joshua

Dad Jokes & Adolescent Antics

#comedy #dadjoke #joshuanovy #dadtips #kids are fun #parenting

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januscorner · 3 months

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Someone needs to come in and teach little kids how to curse because I’m hearing kids say shit like “smells like fuck” and “clear as bitch” it’s hilarious but they need to learn this stuff it’s basic grammar.

#how do i even tag this #Kids are fun #Janus’s Corner

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thecatinthestacks · 1 year

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Working at an elementary school gives you a wide range of experiences. Sometimes you get to see kids light up with excitement when they learn something new, sometimes you comfort a child crying silently in the corner.

And sometimes you have to use your very stern voice to say things like "Brandon! Get off the floor! You get over here and stretch your stretchies out right now!"

#library life #elementary school #kids are fun

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redsray · 2 months

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I love the idea of the Wayne kids dropping extremely vague and disturbing comments during galas. Especially when in uncomfortable situations or if they're just bored. They pull out things from their nightlife too. Other times they just make shit up.

Socialite: Oh, dear, your cheeks look so sullen! Who sucked the life out of you?

Tim, dead serious: An old man with a goatee.

Socialite: Uh... what?

Dick: Once I broke my knee so badly that I swear I could see part of the bone sticking out.

Socialite: Good lord. How on earth did that happen?

Dick: Just clumsy gymnast things ^^

Socialite: The white streak is certainly a bold fashion choice.

Jason: I saw someone get decapitated once, so I could be doing worse in terms of what's on my head, yknow? At least I have one.

Socialite: What's your favourite colour, sweetie?

Damian: Red.

Socialite: Oh that's lovely!

Damian: Like the blood of my enemies.

Socialite: Oh.

Socialite: You must be new to these kind of events.

Duke: Uh, yeah, they're kind of scary. But I've had worse.

Socialite: Worse.

Duke: Well I've been left on top of a skyscraper before with no way down just to 'get over my fear of heights' so, yes.

Socialite: You don't talk very loud, do you? I can barely hear you.

Cass, with a straight face: If I spoke any louder every glass in the room would shatter.

Tim, behind her: I can vouch.

#batfam #batman #cassandra cain #damian wayne #dc comics #dick grayson #duke thomas #jason todd #tim drake #they make bets on who can freak out the most stuck up socialites #its a very fun game for them #bruce just lets it happen #he secretly finds it funny #sometimes even plays along #socialite: so how did you end up with so many kids?#bruce: they were brought to me by an alien

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sordidgoddess · 2 years

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We got a basketball last week, so @sargeant-dragon and I took the boys to shoot hoops. The 16yo won our game of PIG and the 24yo was hilariously unimpressed!