#kevin atwater x you
Text
Fall Into You
Pairing: Kevin Atwater x Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader
Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. SMUT. PWP, cursing, PIV, oral (female and male receiving) teasing/mocking, cum play, size kink, dirty talk, praise kink, all consensual. Slight power imbalance, Kevin is a landlord and reader is the tenant. No sexual favors being exchanged.
Summary: Hoping to beat the storm, Kevin comes over to fix your sink. However, the power goes out and you get to know your new landlord a little better.
Word Count: 7,402k
A/N: Hello, my loves. This has been on my brain for a while and a special gift for @babybratzmaraj. I guess I should stop apologizing for writing so much, the story gon' need what it needs. ONE SHOT. Please, please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers! And please put ages in bios! Or get blockt!
Taglist: @planetblaque @browngirldominion @we-outsiiiide @iv0rysoap @thecookiebratz
The doorbell tore you from your thoughts as you looked out of your window. The TV stated that the storm was only getting started. Only getting started…
You inwardly groaned and fixed your glasses, heading to your door and checking the peephole. Kevin Atwater stood on the other side and your heart fluttered just seeing him. You stepped back, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
“Kevin! Thank you! You didn’t have to come today. This storm looks nasty,” you said.
Kevin smiled and shook his head. He wore a black puffer jacket zipped up and carried a small toolbox. “No problem, I promise. Chicago’s seen worse and you need a working sink,” he said.
You stepped back and let him inside, hoping that your glasses didn’t fog up from the sheer sexiness that entered your apartment.
“Huh, you decorated since last time,” he said.
You looked around at the cozy space. The walls were standard, plain cream, but you made sure to dress it up with paintings in soothing blue and ocean pieces that reminded you of your hometown. The boxes had been cleared away since the last time Kevin was over to fix your bedroom door.
“Yeah, had to make it look like I actually live here,” you said with a giggle.
Kevin laughed with you. He placed the toolbox on your small, round kitchen table and took off his jacket. You busied yourself with tidying up your clean apartment. You picked up the bowl of fruit just to…put it right back down on the sink.
You had to look anywhere but at the deep burgundy button up he wore. Or the peek of a black tank underneath. His bulging arms or the way his hips sloped just so. You had to look away so that he wouldn’t see the neon “horny” sign on your forehead.
You could not crush on your landlord. It was several kinds of wrong. But how could you not? He was so tall, charming, funny, and sweet. His juicy pink lips have been the star of multiple fantasies lately.
“...help you with that,” Kevin was saying.
“Huh? Sorry…” you said and gave him a sheepish smile. Your mind tended to go on little vacations. Especially where Kevin Atwater was concerned.
He smiled at you and began rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. “I said what did you do with the boxes? I told you I could help you with that,” he said.
You waved him off and dropped down into a nearby kitchen chair. “You already do so much for me, Kevin. I really should be paying you,” you said.
“Rent’s just fine with me. I told you to call me for whatever you need,” he said. His eyes lingered on you a second too long before he licked his lips and started rummaging around in his toolbox.
You were incapable of thinking anything but dirty thoughts when he spoke. Whether he meant it that way or not. He brought the toolbox closer to your sink. He flipped the faucet and the pipes groaned. A loud, groaning sound as if there were ghosts dancing in the pipes.
He flipped it back off and gave you a look. “You ain’t tell me it was making that kind of a noise,” he said.
“I told you it was a noise,” you said. You shrugged your shoulders and he chuckled, licking his lips as he went back to looking at the sink.
“I was thinking it was a small noise. Like something just needed some WD-40,” he said. “That…sound bad, right?” He asked.
“You’re asking me?” You shook your head dramatically. “If I knew anything about fixing sinks, I wouldn’t have asked you here during a storm.” You still felt guilty about that. You told Kevin that you could wait until it passed, that running water wasn’t that important in the grand scheme of things. You had bottles of water and the bathroom sink worked just fine to wash your hands.
As your mind wandered, you weren’t paying attention to Kevin getting closer. You didn’t notice as he stood in front of you and dropped down to a squat to look you in the eye. You shrieked when you finally saw him as he seemed to have teleported from the sink.
“There is no way in hell I’ma let my favorite tenant live here with no running water. So no more need to apologize, right?”
His raspy voice made you lose all coherent thought. You twiddled your fingers since he was too close and you gave him a light, nervous giggle. “Stop. I’m not your favorite tenant. I’ve seen the way Mrs. Brennan looks at you. Like you hang the moon,” you said.
Kevin chuckled and stood up, going back to the sink with the toolbox in his hand. He hummed. “I helped her out with something and now she keeps trying to set me up with her granddaughter,” he said.
“Oh? Does Kevin Atwater have trouble meeting women?” You teased.
He laughed as he opened the cabinet underneath. You hadn’t had a chance to get to the store for proper cleaning supplies. So far, all you had was bleach and Pinesol, a small bucket, and a pack of sponges. It was on your long, long, long list of things you needed in order to feel settled in this place.
The wind roared outside and it shook the windows. It howled. The heater was on but did little to combat the chill in the air. You would never feel settled here. The winters were a different breed. Designed to freeze you to the toes and wrack your body with uncontrollable shivers.
“I meet plenty of women. But timing and circumstances are never there,” Kevin said. He settled onto his back and turned off the water to the sink. He began working, leaning forward to grab a tool and then use it under the sink.
His shirt rode up revealing a soft middle that you wanted to sink your teeth into. He was solid and stocky, built for sturdiness.
“What do you mean by timing and circumstance?” You asked.
“Well, I did have a thing with someone but wasn’t exactly healthy. She didn’t like that I’m a cop,” he said.
“Hate to break it to you, but you’ll find that a lot of people won’t like that you’re a cop,” you said. For you, it was always, “fuck cops”. After meeting Kevin, now it was, “want to fuck that cop in particular”.
You looked useless sitting there at the kitchen table, but what else were you supposed to do? You still had some unpacking to do but you didn’t feel right leaving him alone. The place didn’t feel like yours yet. Your manners prevented you from leaving him to it as if he were some servant only here to do a job.
“That’s fair. But can’t stop me from trying,” he said.
“That’s the spirit. Are you a romantic?” You asked. You heard the words after you spoke them and shook your head, not that he could see. “Sorry, that’s rude. You don’t have to answer that.” You pushed your glasses back up your nose and blew out a quiet sigh.
“Nah, it’s cool. I guess, yeah, I would say I’m a romantic. Just waiting for the right girl. How ‘bout you come help me? Hand me that wrench,” he said. He pointed to something in his toolbox.
You stood up and got closer to him, getting down to your knees and sitting back on your legs. You picked up the nearest wrench and handed it to his outstretched hand. You shared a look with him as he took it from you and began loosening a bolt on the pipe.
“You? You into the whole thing about romance?” He asked.
“Uh, yeah. I believe it exists. How anyone can find love here when you’re freezing your ass off is beyond me,” you said.
“It’s all about layers. Undershirt, thermal, overshirt, sweater, hoodie, jacket. You’ll be warm enough,” he said.
You giggled. “Warm enough? I’d be sweating worse than…” You successfully caught yourself before mentioning sex. You bit the corners of your mouth to prevent you from giggling about that. Something about Kevin Atwater turned you into a giggling mess like some kid with a crush.
“Worse than what?” Kevin asked.
You glanced at him. His pink tongue poked out between his lips as he worked on the bolt. The screeching from the metal grated a bit and you winced.
“Worse than a sauna,” you finished lamely. He flicked a glance at you as if he knew that wasn’t what you were going to say originally. He left it alone as he hummed and returned to the bolt.
“You get used to it,” he said.
“This type of cold? No thanks,” you said.
Kevin chuckled. He sat up from the sink and fixed his shirt, lowering it over the glimpse of his stomach. He looked at you and smiled. “There’s more to Chicago than just the winter time. We have the best pizza. Everybody friendly, they just loud about it. Tell you what, why don’t you finally take me up on my offer to take you to Molly’s? It’s run by a couple of friends. They’re nice people, we’d all protect you, and you’d be able to get out and enjoy some things around here,” he said.
“A bar full of cops, doctors, and firemen? I’d feel so intimidated,” you said. You shook your head and giggled.
“Don’t. You need to get out,” he said.
“Pot, meet kettle. How many times have you been out this week?”
“Fair. But if you go out, I will too,” he said.
You held his stare and bit the corners of your mouth again. “I have so much to do here already,” you said. You didn’t like that you kept turning him down but the thought of meeting that many people at once? You wouldn’t survive it.
You knew Kevin would be nice and show you around but being at the center of attention was unbearable.
“One day I’ll get you to say yes. If you’re gonna be here, you may as well make some friends. I think you’d get along with Stella. You remind me of her,” he said.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, tough, no nonsense, funny, sweet,” he said.
“Please,” you said and giggled. Was this Stella single? Did they have something going?
Kevin opened his mouth to say something else when the wind howled louder, tearing your gaze to the window. The window shook and the lights began to flicker before they spasmed out. You shrieked as you were shrouded in darkness.
The pale, white glow of the outside gave your apartment a blue and gray tint. Like waking up in the morning and the sun was still hiding behind clouds. You stood up and went to the window but you weren’t sure what you were looking for. Only that the snow and hail seemed to fall harder, peppering the ground.
“Shoot,” you said.
Kevin stood up and moved behind you, placing one hand on your hip while he leaned behind you to look outside as well. His warm hand scorched your skin as he looked one way and then another.
“Let me see if it’s just us. Lock this door behind me,” he said.
You’d never seen this side of him yet. The kind that took charge. A new authority entered his voice, one that did not entertain disobedience. He turned and walked out and you followed behind to close and lock the door.
You paced your kitchen as you waited. You didn’t know why. Lights went out all the time. He was perfectly safe going to the basement to check the circuit breaker. Minutes passed while you piddled around, cleaning up runaway socks on the floor around the hamper.
Still had things to unload in the bathroom, but without light, you couldn’t see what you were pulling out of the box. It was too awkward holding your phone’s flashlight and the items.
A knock on your door made you jump but then you checked the peephole. Kevin stood there with his hands in his pockets, glancing around. You opened the door and let him back inside.
“Power’s out on the whole block. I already put in a call with utilities. With this kind of storm, there’s no telling when they’ll get out,” he said.
You sighed. “Oh, Kevin, I’m so sorry!” You said. You should have pushed him harder to stay home. To fix it another day.
“Hey, what did we say about apologizing?” He asked.
“Sorry! I just feel so bad. Oh! I said it again, sorry,” you said. You slapped a hand over your mouth as you couldn’t stop apologizing for trapping him here. Now what were you going to do? He couldn’t fix your sink in the dark and there was no power to cook so you couldn’t offer him a meal.
Kevin crossed towards you, invading your personal space. “No more apologizing. It’s okay,” he said.
“Well, I was going to save these until after. Since you’re stuck with me, we have cookies to hold us over,” you said.
“If I had to be stuck anywhere, I’m glad it’s with you,” he said.
You smiled and tugged on the sleeves of your purple shirt. Now that the power was out, that meant your heater was too. “Shit,” you said, realizing.
You told Kevin and he nodded. “Have you unpacked something to drink? I’ll show you how us Chicagoans stay warm,” he said.
“That’s the first thing I unpacked,” you said. You left his overwhelming presence and went to your kitchen. The plate of cookies were wrapped on the short sink so that he wouldn’t have seen it. You wanted to surprise him with gratitude for all the hard work he did around your place.
You opened a cabinet and grabbed two glasses. They clinked together as you placed them on the sink and went to a small pantry, taking out a bottle of whiskey. Kevin joined you in the kitchen to help and he whistled at the bottle. “Basil Hayden?” He asked.
“Did you expect something girly?” You asked.
“No ma’am, just didn’t take you for a whiskey type,” he said. He grinned and joined you at the table.
“Now, we don’t want to get wasted but the goal is to keep a steady drink going to stay warm. So how ‘bout some questions to get to know each other? Since we got all this time,” he said.
“Is this an interrogation?” You asked with a giggle.
“Naw, just two friends getting to know each other. So we either answer truthfully or take shots. Up for it?” He asked.
“I’m game if you are,” you said. Kevin took the lead by pouring tiny shots for you both in each glass. He pushed your glass towards you.
“You can go first,” he said.
You tapped the glass and thought about a good question to ask. “I’ll go easy. What’s a secret you’ve never told anyone?”
“That’s easy?” He asked.
You nodded. You pointed to his glass. “You can always drink up if that’s too hard on you,” you said.
He smirked. “A secret I’ve never told anyone…I once met my celebrity crush at a mall signing. She signed a poster for me. I…still have it,” he said and smiled.
“Who! Who’s your secret crush?” You asked.
“Aht, it’s my turn. Worst heartbreak?” He asked.
“Easy questions, huh?” You asked.
He shrugged. “You don’t become friends by finding out each other’s favorite colors.”
You thought about it and nodded. You told him about your worst heartbreak and how you dealt with it. How difficult it was to move on from it.
You went back and forth asking safe, but deep questions that required more than yes or no answers. You learned more about him and if it was possible, you fell for him even more.
“How in the world are you single?” You asked when it was your turn again.
Kevin chuckled and played with his glass. So far, you had taken a few shots too nervous to answer the questions he asked. He had only taken two. One for when you asked about his parents and one when you asked about his first love.
“I wish I knew. I date; you make it sound like I hide in my house after work. The shit I see every day, sometimes I just need to get it out of my head. Dating on top of that just seems cruel,” he said.
You nodded. You could respect that. You had no idea what it was like being a cop. Seeing the worst humanity had to offer and still have to come up with hope for the people who survived. Dealing with the press and the community painting cops as modern day boogeyman. Still. He was too sweet and strong to not have someone. It was criminal.
“How come you don’t have anyone?” He asked.
You fixed your glasses and shrugged. “May be a surprise to you but guys these days are…nasty. They send unsolicited dick pics, they can’t hold a conversation, and think women owe them something for buying them a drink. Like…I didn’t ask for the drink so why does that mean I have to open my legs or suck them off? Especially when they won’t even go down on a woman!”
Kevin’s surprised face made you suddenly feel the alcohol loosening your limbs and warming you up. It definitely loosened your tongue. You groaned and rubbed your forehead. “Sorry, that’s TMI,” you said.
“I would say take a drink every time you apologize, but then this bottle would be gone.”
The word was on the tip of your tongue and you bit it to keep from speaking it. He smirked at your attempt and you rolled your eyes. “You don’t know everything,” you said. Well, the door was open…
“What is your ideal woman?” You asked.
“Ideal? Shit, I just want someone I vibe with. That thinks like me. Has goals,” he said.
“Beauty? Brains?” You asked.
“Why won’t you go to Molly’s with me?” He asked.
You smiled, remembering that it was only one question per person. “I don’t know anyone. Meeting new people sucks. I don’t have the personality for great first impressions,” you said.
“You know me,” he said. “I would make sure you’re good. And you are great at first impressions. I wouldn’t have rented to you otherwise.”
“You are just being nice like always. Why is it important for me to go to Molly’s?”
“I want you to feel welcome here. Feel like you belong so you can stay,” he said.
You ducked your head, playing with your glass. The soft slide of glass on the table was the only sound in the room. Outside, the wind continued to howl as the storm carried on. You shivered, despite feeling toasty from the whiskey. Your skin felt icy. “I moved here, Kevin. That’s about as permanent as it gets.”
Kevin scooted closer. He had to spread his legs wider to accommodate your chair. The smell of him invaded your senses. The smell of whiskey on him made your head fuzzy. He brought his hand up to caress your cheek. He gently turned your head to look at him.
“This may be the drink talkin’, but you feel this too, right? Between us? If I’m imagining it, let me know now,” he said.
You looked at his lips and then back up to his eyes. He caught the movement and did the same, his gaze drifting down your face and then back up again.
“You’re not imagining it,” you said.
Kevin leaned over and captured your lips in a sweet, tender kiss that warmed you up quicker than the whiskey. You returned the kiss, sighing, tongues dueling with each other.
“Hmm, knew you’d taste sweet,” he said. He pecked your lips once, twice, and then lingered on the third time humming.
Emboldened by his actions, you leaned out of your chair. You climbed into his lap, wrapping your hands around his shoulders. Kevin sighed and put his hands on your hips, squeezing every so often.
“You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he said.
You smiled and kissed him again, rolling your hips. He groaned and his hands went lower to grab your ass. He gripped and massaged your ass, squeezing painfully enough to make you cry into his mouth. He growled hearing the sound, kissing you with more passion after each kiss.
“I want you, Kevin Atwater,” you said against his lips.
“Are you sure?” He asked. He leaned back and looked into your eyes. “If you’ve had too much to drink–”
“Shut up,” you said with a grin and kissed him.
You had been playing this subtle game between each other for weeks as you signed your lease and moved in. The first time you called him to tell him about your stuck doors, he showed up the next day he was free. He made conversation easy as he fixed the doors. He immediately put you at ease.
He found that your closet door was stuck too but he didn’t have time to fix it at the time. He told you that he would be back and again, he made it so easy to talk to him and time flew by when he was around. It was like you didn’t have time to think about being nervous when he was telling you about must see attractions to Chicago. He kept talking about the pizza and promised to bring one over.
He made moving there for work not feel so lonely. You were worried if you would find friends outside of work. No matter what, work friends were not true friends.
You kissed him again, your hands drifting down to start unbuttoning his shirt. The alcohol wasn’t affecting you in the way he thought. It only lowered your natural anxiousness about being bolder. Funner. More open. Going after what you wanted.
Now that you knew you weren’t crazy, that he wanted you as well, a dam broke. Kevin matched your desperateness to get your clothes off as well.
“I know another way to stay warm,” you said.
Kevin chuckled. “I told you I can help with whatever you need,” he said. “I keep my promises.”
You finally got his shirt loose and pushed it off of his shoulders. He had huge muscles, showing off a physique that made you lick your lips in anticipation. His thighs bunched underneath you and you moaned, rolling your hips against his pelvis.
His erection was thick against his jeans. Kevin grabbed the edges of your shirt and pulled it off you, revealing your bra. He moaned and kissed around your chest. His hands traveled up and down your back, warming it up just like he promised.
The black tank he wore underneath looked damn good on him but it had to go. He stopped kissing your chest long enough to let you remove it. Your hands explored his chest while he put his mouth over your nipple through the fabric.
You moaned, throwing your head back and giving him better access. He took the opportunity you presented and sucked on your titty until the fabric was soaked with his saliva. Your nipple became increasingly sensitive under his attention. You were hissing and shaking by the time he finally let go and admired his handiwork.
He switched to your other nipple, giving it the same love and attention as the first. You squirmed in his lap, unable to stop moving. Your hands moved to the back of his neck and held him to you. He groaned and continued to tug and suckle on your nipple until it was sensitive as well.
As a big girl, it was not easy to feel small. Dainty. Delicate. But you felt like that in Kevin’s capable hands. You felt worshiped. Adored. The soft light coming from outside made the room feel like a bubble. Like time stopped somewhere outside and you were free to explore. To breathe. To cherish this moment with Kevin.
He licked the swell of your breast outside of your bra and you moaned. He kissed up your neck until his lips found yours. Until he was nibbling on your lips and licking away the sting. He sucked on your bottom lip and you felt the tug in your pussy.
You were uncomfortably wet. You felt your arousal dampening your panties. You didn’t know how much longer you would hold out. Or survive.
“You squirming a lot there. You feelin’ good?” He asked.
“Yes,” you moaned.
“What I’m gon’ find when I take them panties off?” He asked.
“Me, excited. Ready for you,” you said.
“Ohh, you a little naughty on top of being sweet?”
You didn’t have time to answer. Kevin stood up, holding you, cupping your ass so you didn’t slip. He kissed you while he held you. But your heart was thumping. Thundering. “I got you, don’t you even worry,” he whispered against your lips.
The apartment was small so he crossed the space in a few steps to get to your bed. He gently laid you down and stepped back to admire how needy you were. How you stretched out on the bed and made a sublime vision of wantonness.
He bit his lip with a smirk as he unbuttoned your jeans and tugged them off your hips. Your breathing was rapid, out of control. Your chest rose and fell in quick succession. Your skin felt alive and electric. Like he needed to enter you right this second or you’d spontaneously combust.
“Look at you. Needy little thing,” he commented. His hands spanned the expanse of your thighs, rubbing and kneading.
“Oh, Kevin,” you moaned.
“So you ready for me, huh?” He asked. You watched through slitted eyes as he tilted his head. How could he be in control right now? Had it been that long for you?
You were too busy packing and saying goodbye to family and friends to worry about getting your rocks off. You were too busy working and unpacking in Chicago to worry about finding someone to relieve the pressure. The past few weeks, it had been you and Roman the Rose.
“I’m so ready,” you said, making him chuckle.
He took off his shoes, socks, and jeans and you watched him unveil parts of his body you imagined. Lusted over. Pictured way too often to ever tell him the truth.
“Mhm, we gon’ see,” he said. He joined you on the bed. Kneeling on it, the bed groaned under his weight and you smiled. Your bed had been previously unprepared for someone of his size. He dropped his lips to your chest slowly. When his breath fanned over your nipples, you moaned and twisted away from him.
He completely covered you, however, so there was no place to go. He licked the swell of your breasts again, glancing up at your reactions. You were mesmerized by him. Under his spell. One of his hands slipped up your thigh and you twinged. Goosebumps pebbled your skin but you felt like you were on fire.
He pressed a thumb over your panties and pushed in, digging the fabric past your pussy lips and groaned at the wet glide of it already. “Oh shit,” you moaned.
“Hm, look what I found,” he said against your skin.
His fingers played with your pussy over your panties and you kept moving, twisting, writhing against your bed and underneath him. Every so often, his thumb would grace your pussy lips. That hint of skin to skin contact made you hiss and roll your hips against his hand.
Kevin used his teeth to drag down the cup of your bra. He grinned finding your dark nipple and then he latched on, swirling his tongue around it in a way that let you know he’d do the same to your pussy when given the chance.
Your breaths were choppy. Belly flipping. Pussy throbbing. Hands clutching your sheets and yanking.
Your orgasm was tearing through you, stealing your breath like a thief. Stars exploded behind your eyelids as rippling pleasure traveled throughout your body. Kevin hummed through it all.
“Look so damn pretty when you cum. Gon’ look even better when I get in there. I bet you’re gonna feel good ridin’ this dick,” he said. His raspy voice was its own brand of magic. Your nipples were still sensitive under his ministrations and the painful tug felt delicious.
You whimpered. He used his teeth to drag down your other cup and gave it attention as well. His tongue flicking across the dark areola. “Shit!” You moaned.
“Mhm, let me hear it,” he said. His warm breath fanned across the wet spots he left behind and you shuddered.
“Kevin, please,” you begged.
“Naw, that beggin’ shit don’t work on me,” he said.
You whimpered once more as he rolled your nipple between his teeth. His hand went back to rubbing your pussy but this time, he finally slipped underneath. His thumb teased the area around your clit, never quite hitting it and teasing you with no mercy.
“Oh fuuck,” you moaned. You turned your head to the side and bit your sheets, turning distraught at the realization that he was going to take his time with your body. He was an explorer. He was a master conductor fine tuning your body and learning the sounds you were capable of producing.
He sucked hard on your nipple and your back left the soft sheets, arching away from the bed. “Augh,” moaned.
At the same time, he dipped a finger into your entrance getting his finger wet up to the knuckle. “Nice and fuckin’ wet. Fuck,” he moaned.
You hissed as he moved his finger in and out. His thumb continued to tease your clit, never directly touching it. It was a dual sensation that drove you insane and contracted on his finger.
“You gon’ feel this good squeezing on my dick?” He asked.
“Uh-huh,” you said and nodded. Hell yes you would. He just needed to believe you and get inside you already. You moved your hips against his finger and he hummed in appreciation.
“Oh, impatient too. You wanna cum again?” He asked.
You nodded. “Yes, please, I wanna cum,” you whined, your voice tinny and weak.
“Good girl, using your words without me having to tell you. A’right, I’ll let you cum,” he said. He pushed a second finger inside you and then began pumping in earnest. His thumb moved to rub circles around your clit and you came instantly, shouting and twitching.
“Shit, shit, shit,” you moaned as you came, eyes rolling into the back of your head. Kevin placed kisses along your chest as you did so, keeping up his particular brand of torture. He slowed down as your breathing returned to normal.
“Hmm-mm,” I can get used to that,” he said.
You struggled to your elbows and looked at him. “Fuck,” you panted.
He grinned and stood up. He slipped his fingers out of you and then licked them one by one. He moaned, closing his eyes. Fuck. It was the hottest thing you’d ever seen. He licked his fingers like runaway scoops of brownie mix left on the spatula.
You were getting worked up looking at him. He was distracted. You smirked as you leaned forward and pressed kisses to his stomach. He tensed up at the contact and you looked up at him.
He grinned at you, grabbing you by the throat. Your eyes fluttered closed. He hummed. He pulled you into a kiss. A wet, sloppy, loud one that made you hiss and scoot closer to him. You were dripping, soaked. Every movement you made called attention to the fact that you were wet as hell.
“I got somethin’ for you, but I wanna eat first. We didn’t get to them cookies you baked,” he said.
Your eyes turned watery. “Please, let me touch you, Kevin,” you said.
He planted another kiss on your lips, lingering to swipe his tongue around your lips and diving inside. Your pussy ached. You’d never felt so empty in your entire life. “You’ll get your chance to make sure my dick wet for you. I don’t wanna hurt you when I finally fuck you,” he said.
You sighed painfully through your nose. Your vision swam with tears. You were beyond horny. You didn’t think you were this insatiable. You had two orgasms already but you wanted more. You wanted more from him.
Kevin licked his lips and removed his hand from your neck.. He rubbed your lips with his thumb and then gave you a sweeter kiss this time around. “Now lean back and let me get to eatin’,” he commanded.
You needed no further encouragement as you flopped back onto the bed. He peeled your panties off, cooing at the dripping mess you were. “Hm-mm,” he sighed. He kissed your thighs as he slipped your panties off. He licked your calf. He threw your panties somewhere behind him and it landed with a soft, wet plop.
You would have felt embarrassed usually. But there was nothing but pure, uncut lust. You could taste it in the air. Feel it burning you inside and out.
Kevin hummed, stroking himself through his briefs. He spread your legs and watched as your arousal slowly leaked out of you. You felt it roll down the crack of your ass and shivered. Cool air blasted from somewhere. The wind continued to howl, adding to the soft orchestra of sounds you were currently making.
Kevin knelt down slowly and got into position between your legs. He put them over his shoulders and yanked you down to the edge of the bed. His arms hooked underneath your legs and spread you open for his meal.
He blew slowly across your wet clit and you shivered. The anticipation was worse. You couldn’t stop moving, shaking, yearning. Kevin laughed and kissed your clit. He hummed. “Taste so fuckin’ good already. You’re so wet, baby,” he said. “Gonna drown in this pretty pussy.”
“Fuck, Kevin!” You shrieked.
He chuckled. “Calm down, what you cussin’ for? I ain’t even do nothin’ yet,” he said.
You whined, rolling your hips. “Please, please, please,” you begged. You couldn’t take this teasing. You weren’t used to it. Had you even had sex before this? You thought you had decent lovers before. Men who knew what they were doing and had you screaming until the cows came home.
But Kevin? Kevin eclipsed any man that came before. You were a virgin all over again. This was your first time and your partner was an expert. A sex demon sent straight from hell.
“The more you beg, the longer I take,” he said. He licked outside of your pussy lips. He went as far as the seam and pulled back, licking down ‘till he reached your entrance. His tongue just crested the surface of it.
“Okay, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You yelled and huffed.
Kevin continued to tease you, drawing curses and screams and yells as he explored your body. Your thighs shook violently. Tingles turned to pinpricks against your legs the longer he held them open.
Wave upon wave of desire flooded your system. Your hands played in his hair as he worked, savoring you. He hummed every so often when you tugged on his hair or made a sound that sounded like you were near death. Near leaving this plane of existence forever.
You stopped trying to plead with him. You become engrossed in the pleasure he was giving you. You and it were one and you surrendered to the feel of him. He finally pushed in further, drawing his tongue close to your clit.
“Auhh,” you croaked.
Kevin kept going, swirling his tongue. His sloppy, loud eating was seduction personified. He sucked so hard that he made noises with your pussy.
You couldn’t say anything to let him know that you were enjoying yourself. You couldn’t encourage him to keep doing what he was doing. Your mind was gone. Gone on a different trip this time.
He sighed against your pussy and then flicked his tongue on your clit. It was your undoing. You cried out, pupils blown wide as you came and came and came. Shivers wracked your body. Kevin held you down in his powerful arms, helping you weather the tempest rushing through you.
Your fingers dug into his wild hair and pulled. It didn’t seem to faze Kevin. He continued to eat you out as if searching for the next meal course. He ate you on the way down from the high. You moaned and bit your lip, hoping pain would help dull this type of ecstasy. It did not.
Kevin smacked his lips as he slowly stopped, rolling his tongue one more time. He leaned back and surveyed his work. You heard him smacking his lips. “Makin’ such a big mess for me,” he whispered. He kissed your pussy and then leaned back.
Your eyes found his. He smirked. His beard dripped with your essence. Entire lower jaw was wet and you saw trails of your slick in his beard. He rubbed it in, moving his hand to work in what you left on him.
“How you feelin’, gorgeous?” He asked.
“Like I died,” you said.
He chuckled. “Well, now you got some work to do. Get this dick wet,” he said.
He helped you into a sitting position. You yelped, feeling the giant pool you made on the edge of the bed. You were definitely going to have to wash these immediately. He grabbed your throat, tearing your thoughts away from the bed and back onto him.
He leaned down and kissed you. Fuck, you tasted good on him. You smelled yourself and it only turned you on more. He sucked on your bottom lip and then swiped his tongue up. He made out with you and you somehow dripped more. You were a veritable slip and slide at this point. If he entered you, he’d face no resistance.
He pulled back and you smiled goofily at him. He smiled back. “Even better than I been dreamin’,” he said. He leaned back and let you go. You watched as he removed his briefs. Your eyes widened at the size of him.
He was long and thick, a deadly combination. Maybe all the prep time was more from necessity. Had he tried entering you without lube or without foreplay, that shit would hurt. You were no punk though.
You fixed your glasses and greedily took him into your mouth. You were not as nuanced as he was. You did not have time for games. You had been desperate to touch him, taste him, and explore him in the same way he did to you. You sucked the tip of him and he hissed, hands going to the side of your face.
You pushed past his hands, sucking as much of him down as you could. You used your hands on the area you couldn’t get to. You spat on his dick and used it to let your hands glide better.
“Sweet fuck,” he moaned.
You sucked on him, remembering to breathe through your nose so that you didn’t pass out doing this. Your pussy throbbed as he continued to moan and throw his head back, rolling his neck. Your drool slipped past your lips and coated his shaft. You flicked your tongue across his tip and he jerked his hips forward.
His hands on the side of your head gripped you harder and pushed you down on his dick. Deeper than you would normally take someone. You had been worried that you would puke or something. However, you relaxed your throat and worked together to soak his dick with your saliva and make sure that he wouldn’t hurt you on entry.
“Fuck, right there. Right there,” he moaned.
You moaned right back, loving the way he took control of his pleasure and used you. “Let me cum in that pussy, baby,” he said.
You looked up at him and he licked his lips. You nodded. “Yef,” you said around his dick.
He slipped out of your mouth and you sucked in deep breaths. Your head was light. Floating. Soaring. You licked your lips and rubbed your cheeks to get the ache out. But Kevin grabbed you roughly and flipped you over on the bed.
“Ouee, shit,” you groaned. You sniffled. Fuck, he was ruining you for any other guy. You would never be able to have sex with anyone else ever again! Was it too early to propose? Was it too early to ask him to move into this tiny apartment with you and deliver this every night on demand? Would that scare him away?
His large hands wrapped around your waist and pulled you back. One hand left as he guided his dick to your entrance. You sighed. There was no reason to beg him not to tease you. He wouldn’t listen either way.
Kevin shoved inside in one hard thrust that brought those stars back to your mind’s eye. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuh,” you moaned.
As suspected, he slipped in easily thanks to the foreplay and you sucking him off. He groaned as he was fully seated and began rolling his hips, giving you long, deep strokes. He grinded in your pussy and you began to shake and shiver on him.
“Throw that shit back like you want it,” he said.
You listened, throwing it back. He was stroking so hard that you couldn’t brace yourself. You dropped down to your elbows and raised your ass higher. He moaned as he stroked deeper, hitting your sweet spot and making your toes curl.
“Kevin, Kevin, Kevin,” you chanted.
“Yeah, I know I’m hittin’ that shit. Bounce it back,” he said.
You moved your hips faster, matching his pace. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked back. Your head snapped back, a bite of pain on your scalp. “Auh, auh, auh,” you croaked.
His thrusts made your ass clap on him. “Mhm, gripping that shit,” he moaned. He twisted your hair again, yanking your head back a little more and stroking into you with precision.
“Oue, baby, I’m gonna cum,” you moaned. “I’m cumming, baby.”
“Cum on then. Cum on this dick so I can nut in this pussy,” he said.
You cried. You exploded. You were ripped apart as the orgasm burrowed through your system. Your legs shook and twitched. Your pussy gripped him tight, making him snug as he pounded.
Kevin continued stroking until he groaned and busted inside of you. Hot pulses of cum signed his name in the crevices of your pussy and you moaned with him.
He slammed inside of you two more times and stilled, panting. He slowly worked his way out of you and you groaned. You immediately flopped onto the bed. Strength left you. Your energy was gone.
Kevin’s quiet huffs let you track him through the apartment. You heard water running and then he was back, cleaning you up. You whined, crying and pushing away from him. He cooed at you and gently cleaned you up.
Sleep tugged at you. You yawned. Kevin returned. You were putty in his hands as he moved you away from the mess you made. “I know another way to warm you up too,” he said.
“Hm,” you sighed.
He chuckled as he got you out of the puddle. You sighed, curling up now that you were in a dry spot. Kevin placed something onto the wet spot and then got in bed with you, pulling your back into his chest. He spread out covers over you.
You had just enough thought to take off your glasses and put it on the nightstand next to you.
His hand came around to rest against your titty, still clad in your bra. He threw one leg over you and your body instantly warmed up. He was a space heater. You snuggled into his warmth and were out like a light, with a giant smile on your face.
The END.
The Secret Kevin Atwater Files
#Megaminds Secret Files#The Secret Kevin Atwater Files#Kevin Atwater x Black!reader#Kevin Atwater x Black reader#x Black reader#Kevin Atwater x Fem!reader#Kevin Atwater x Fem reader#Kevin Atwater x reader#x reader#Kevin Atwater x you#Kevin Atwater imagine#Kevin Atwater fanfic#Kevin Atwater fan fic#Kevin Atwater fanfiction#Kevin Atwater fan fiction#Kevin Atwater smut#Chicago PD#Chicago P.D.#Chicago PD fanfic#Chicago PD fan fic#Chicago PD fan fiction#Chicago PD fanfiction#Chicago PD smut
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Nothin’ I Wouldn’t Do For You
Kevin Atwater x Fem!Reader
Warnings: a few birthday tears, reader and Kim are besties, alcohol and the consumption of.
Word Count: 1,675 words
Author’s Note: Happy birthday Jill!! @hauntedmilkshakeghost <33 I've been looking for motivation to write for our fav guy and this seemed more than fitting! so here's a little birthday treat for you :)
----
The morning was dull, woken up to an empty house and no birthday cuddles from your boyfriend. It made you wonder if you missed a call from Voight but why wouldn’t Kevin wake you up?
Maybe he was planning to surprise you so you make your way downstairs to find the house empty. It stuck you as odd that Kevin wasn't home nor did he text you or leave a note.
It was almost 9:30 and you had to head out for work. Quietly and quickly, you get dressed and head out. You get a few birthday calls from family on your way in and when you get in, Trudy was sitting behind her desk.
“Mornin’ Sarge.” you smile, she glances up from her paperwork. “Hey, Voight just got in, you should head up.” Trudy nods towards the stairs.
You hum, signing the sheet in the sheet at the desk. You walk up the few stairs, your hand on the scanner when Trudy calls for you.
“Happy birthday, kid.” she gives you a small smile.
“Thanks Sarge.” you return the smile, walking up the rest of the stairs.
Everyone’s at their respective desks, a bunch of flowers on your desk and balloons tied to it. The card attached to the flowers read; Happy Birthday Detective L/N. Thank you for everything - your family at intelligence
Your heart warms at the gesture but a little bummed that they weren’t from Kevin alone. It wasn't until you felt arms wrap around you that you realized you were at work. Someone’s arms were around you, giving you a squeeze, slightly picking you up off the floor.
“Happy birthday!” he kissed your cheek. “Thank you Ruz.” you smile, patting his arm.
The rest of the team comes over, all wishing you happy birthday and Kevin comes over last. He gives you a quick hug and a kiss before sitting on the edge of your desk, “any plans for tonight?” he asks.
You shook your head, “nothing really.”
“Cool.” Kev nods, getting up off your desk. You grab his hand before he walks off, he looks back at you. “Are you okay?” you ask.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Kev’s brows furrow, looking at you.
“Just wondering.” you hum, letting go of his hand.
You felt like something was up, Kevin had been so distant lately and it was off putting. It made you feel like you had done something wrong even though you’re completely sure you didn’t.
Kim leans over from her desk, “hey,” she calls. “You don’t have plans tonight ?” she asks and you nod.
“Lemme take you out then, we can go for drinks or something.”
“Are you sure? Don’t you have plans with Adam?”
“No, plus he can wait.” She laughs, “drinks at Molly’s?”
You nod, smiling. “Yeah, sounds good.”
-----
It's a bit past seven and you’re meeting Kim at Molly's. You were finishing up some last minute paperwork so you said you would meet her there. Bracing yourself, you let out a breath as you open the door.
There was a little hope in you that there would be a surprise waiting for you, your boyfriend and your team standing by the door, the bar full of people with balloons and banners.
Yet, when you open the door, it’s empty. Kim sat at the bar, talking with Otis and there were a few other patrons scattered around the bar. You walk over, mustering up a smile.
“Hey!” Kim smiles, as you sit on the stool next to her. “Hi.” you smile, turning to Otis. “Can I get a margarita and another of whatever she’s drinking?” you ask him and he nods.
“I know it’s your birthday today,” Otis calls to you as he pours the liquid into the glass. He slides it over the counter and over to you, “so this one’s on me, just don’t tell Herrmann.” he chuckles, giving your hand a pat.
You smile, taking a sip. Kim makes casual conversation with Otis as you two drink. There's something digging at your heart, making you feel like you were going to puke.
Otis was someone you nearly saw other than when you were at Molly’s or if you hung out with Dawson and Shay but the fact that he remembered your birthday and your boyfriend didn’t made you so upset.
Your eye brimming with tears when Kim looks over at you. “Babe, what’s wrong?” She asks, voice filled with concern and she rests her hand on your arm. “What’s with the tears?”
Wiping away the stray few that fall, you shake your head. “I’m fine.”
Otis looks between the two women, “did I do something wrong here? Shay always tells me I don’t know how to talk to women.” he mumbles under his breath, exhaling as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
You chuckled through tears, “no, it's not you.” you say, sighing. Kim’s brows furrowed, eyeing you. “That’s bullshit. What’s wrong? Really?”
“I-'' you sigh, “Kevin’s being so distant lately. It just sucks because I thought he’d care more about his girlfriend’s birthday.” you tell her and Kim hums, listening to you. “I went all out for his birthday, you know that. I flew out Vinessa and Jordan, I threw him a party and we spent the entire week together. I just don’t understand the lack of interest here.”
“Kev’s been busy, and like you said, you flew his siblings out. You know he missed them.” Kim tells you, just irritating you further.
“C’mon Kim, let’s be real. I’m not comparing our situations but a little effort from him would be nice. I would have been happy with the two of us eating takeout on the couch.”
“Then let’s go.” She scoots off the stool, setting some cash on the counter. You look at the woman, head cocked to the side with a look of confusion on your face. Kim grabs your hand, pulling you off your stool.
“Kim, where're we going ?”
“Back to your place, we’re gonna have takeout on the couch and we're gonna get wine drunk.” She smiles, pulling you out of the bar. “But I’m gonna need you to drive because Adam dropped me off.” Kim links arms with you as you two walked towards your car.
Kim lets you drive seeing that she had a few drinks prior to you arriving at Molly’s but you noticed how often Kim keeps checking her phone. “You okay?” you look over at the woman when you come to a stop at the light.
She nods, shutting off her phone. “Just Adam checking in. Wanted to see if we wanted some company.”
You hum, “yeah, tell him to come by.”
It didn’t take long for you to get back to the house. It was dark when you pulled into the driveway and Kim followed you to the door when you got out of the car. You fish your keys out of your pocket, unlocking the door.
The lights turn on, the living room full of people and the walls decorated, covered in balloons and streamers, a banner hanging from the arch above the dining room.
“Surprise!” They shout.
Kevin at the front of the crowd, a grin on his face. “Happy birthday baby.” He walks over, pulling you into a hug.
You look up at him before looking at the crowd, the team from intelligence as well as some of your friends from 81 and med but you can’t believe they’re actually there. “How- when'd you have time to plan all this?”
“Couldn’t have done it without Kim and Adam.” He glances at the brunette behind you who was cuddled into her boyfriend’s side.
You wrap your arms around Kev, leaning into his side. “Is this why you've been so weird lately ?” and Kevin chuckles. “Yeah, I didn’t want you to find out but do you know how hard it was to keep this from you?” he asks.
“It was breaking my heart to push you away like that but I know how nosy you are.” he pinches your side making you smile.
You untangle yourself from Kevin, making your way around the room to say hello to everyone. The rest of the night goes off without a hitch and everyone’s having a good time.
When it comes time to cut the cake, you keep bracing yourself for Jay or Adam to smoosh your face into the cake or rub frosting on it but yet they don't. You’re taking photos and Kim is taking one of you and Kev when you call the team to come over and take a group picture.
Kelly’s holding the phone and Stella counting down for all of you to smile when you feel something cold on either side of your face.
You realize it’s frosting and when you turn to see who it is, you assumed it’s Jay or Adam but you had a habit of rubbing frosting on them but you managed to surprise yourself. Hank and Antonio are looking at each other, frosting covering their fingers as they laugh.
You roll your eyes, “I cannot believe you two.” You turn, rubbing frosting on both of them.
That spirals into a full fledged food fight, all of you covered in frosting and cake.
----
Kev’s got his arm around you, his finger trailing along your side. The two of you watching the reruns of whatever sitcom was playing on the tv. Adam’s snoring filled the silence, he and Kim crashing in the guest bedroom.
You glance up at your boyfriend, your hand reaching from his jaw before pulling him down to give him a kiss. Kevin smiles, “what was that for?” he mumbles against your lips.
Kissing him once more, you shrug. “Just a thank you.” you smile, resting your head against his chest.
“For what baby ?”
“For doing this.” you gesture to the living room, the balloons and streamers, the banners and what not.
Kevin smiles, kissing your forehead. “No need to thank me, there’s nothin’ I wouldn’t do for you.”
----
taglist: @chicago9-1-1-lonestar @slytherbun @halsteadssneakylink @twistnet @kellykidd @fighterkimburgess @atarmychick007 @alexxavicry @withakindheartx
#kevin atwater#kevin atwater x reader#kevin atwater x you#kevin atwater x you#kevin atwater fic#kevin atwater imagine#one chicago#one chicago fic#one chicago fanfiction#one chicago imagine#chicago pd#chicago pd imagine#chicago pd fic#chicago pd fanfiction#chicago pd x reader#chicago pd one shot#kim burgess#adam ruzek#hank voight#antonio dawson#jay halstead
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"My daddy has to fight some bad guys". || Jay Halstead x reader and daughter
*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠
You woke up earlier than everybody in your house to get everything ready for everyone. Jay would usually follow you a few minutes later and you two would make breakfast and get your daughter ready for school together, along with other morning stuff. This wasn't the day, your husband had fallen asleep and you were doing everything by yourself, trying not to make a lot of noise. You knew he was working a tough case and had come back quite late from work the night before, so you didn't want to wake him up. Even when he didn't want to admit it, he was tired as hell and needed to rest.
You were in the kitchen starting to cook breakfast when you felt his arms hugging you from the back.
-"Did I wake you up?" You asked. -"I was trying not to".
-"I didn't feel you by my side and I couldn't fall asleep again". He answered into your ear and then kissed your neck as he continued talking. -"I'm sorry I haven't been around. We closed this case last night, what's left is a bunch of paperwork. My hope is to be back home early tonight and...". You turned around to hug him back and interrupted him with a short kiss. He rushed to finish his sentence with a heavy breathing : "...I can make it up for you", then proceeded to tenderly kiss your lips as he held you as tight as he could with one of his arms, while fervently holding your head with his other hand, finger all tangled in your hair, pulling it a bit.
Due to the case Jay was working on, you two had barely seen each other during the last week and a half, so things were heating up fast. Suddenly, for both of your displeasure, an alarm interrupted the moment.
-"Time to wake her up". You said having trouble separating from him.
-"I'll go". Jay took your phone to turn off the alarm. -"I'm driving her to school too".
-"Hey, Jay!" You took his hand before letting him leave the room. -"You do remember her Father's Day Festival, right?".
-"Next friday, 10:30, sure".
-"I was thinking...maybe you should talk to her and explain that...of course you will be there, but if you are not able to make it is due to your work".
-"But I will be there".
-"I know, I know, it's just...we never know when a case might pop up. Remember the Spring Festival?".
-"Oh. The bank robbery right before it...".
-"Yes, that's what I mean. That time was easy because I was there, but this time I won't...".
-"I will talk to her". He said after a few seconds of silence. -"But I'll be there, no matter what".
That day, Tessa and her class made a craft for their fathers. All the little kids were drawing in a small paper square that would become a keychain for Father's Day. Some of them were drawing hearts, others were doing stick figures. Tessa drew her dad carrying her over his shoulders and a bunch of hearts around. Her artwork was a little abstract, but understandable for a 5 year old.
-"All right". Ms. Luna said in a sweet voice. Tessa really loved her teacher. -"I am going to take your drawings and we will give them back to our dads as a key chain during the festival!".
-"My daddy said he will come, but he's working and if he doesn't show up it is because he has to fight some bad guys. Bad guys don't respect days or time". Tessa rushed to repeat what Jay tried to explain to her earlier in the morning when he was taking her to school.
-"It's ok". Her teacher laughed a bit. -"Sometimes parents can't make it and it's ok. That doesn't mean they don't want to or that they don't love us".
The class rehearsed the song they would sing at intervals throughout the rest of the day. Tessa never missed the opportunity to repeat the information going around her head: "My dad said he's coming, but if he's not here it means he's working" or "My daddy is fighting the bad guys and bad guys they don't respect days or time" or "He will be here, but if he's not here, that means he's on the streets. He makes Chicago safe". Her friends were amazed whenever she repeated those statements. She did understand what her father told her, but she didn't really comprehend.
The day was here. You dropped Tessa at school, she was all excited. Before she entered the building you reminded her: "If it happens that daddy is not here or he's late, remember he's fighting the bad guys".
Jay was already in the bullpen, everything was strangely calmed. He had talked with Voight about going out to Tessa's school and he gladly agreed.
-"Today is the day isn't it?" Hailey asked Jay as she entered the coffee room.
-"Yeah". He smirked. -"If nothing else intervenes".
-"Let's stay positive". She said remembering what had happened last Spring Festival.
It was 8:30, the day had just started when Trudy came upstairs with an urgent case.
-"That's just my luck". Jay said, rushing downstairs with his partner.
-"Let's try to make it quick". Hailey answered by putting on her coat.
At school, the kids were getting ready to go outside to start the festival. Parents were gathering outside of the building, waiting to get inside.
Students from all schools were lining up around the court. Their parents were supposed to meet them and be in front of their kid's group to hear them sing.
-"Is your dad here?" One of Tessa's friends asked.
-"I can't see him". She answered standing on tiptoe. -"But it's ok, it's because he had to fight the bad guys".
All the kids waved their fathers with excitement, some of them ran to hug them before starting the show. Jay didn't make it, but Tessa wasn't feeling bad about it...yet.
When the song finished, all the kids jumped into their fathers arms and gave them the craft they made in class as a gift for them. Tessa stood in her place, not being able to hold her tears. She was crying in silence, so between the noise and excitement around the little girl, nobody noticed her until a few minutes later. As soon as her teacher saw her, she ran towards her and hugged her tight.
-"It's ok, honey. It's ok. Your dad wanted to be here with you". She said in a very sweet and calmed voice. -"Remember he is fighting the bad guys, you said that before ''.
Some parents were moved watching the scene, but there was nothing they could do. Ms. Johnson, the school's principal, noticed the situation from afar and she joined as soon as she could. By only moving her lips, trying not to be heard, she asked Tessa's teacher if the little girl's father wasn't there. She shaked her head in disapproval when the teacher answered with a sorry face.
-"We can call your dad, Tess. That way you can hear his voice".
-"But, Ms. Johnson, he's fighting the bad guys". Ms. Luna intervened.
-"Oh!" She understood. -"Ok, but we can call him later, we'll tell him to come so you can give him your present. Would you like that?".
The little girl was an emotional mess, but agreed with her head, even though she wasn't really listening to what the adults were saying.
The emergency call for the intelligence team ended up in a shooting and that delayed detective Halstead. As soon as he finished with interviews and all the bureaucracy after this kind of situation, he ran off.
-"Go, go, go". Hailey rushed. -"I cover you".
Jay drove his truck as fast as he could, siren on. It wasn't a police emergency, but it was an emergency after all, he could deal with the consequences later. He parked in the first spot he found, even if it wasn't merely in front of the school and ran as fast as he could in a police mode to get to his baby girl. It was until he entered the building that he noticed he was still wearing the vest, gun and badge on his hip, but didn't care.
-"There he is!" Ms. Johnson pointed to Tessa's father.
-"Come on! Come on!" Ms. Luna took the little girl's hand and started running towards her dad.
-"I'm so sorry". Jay took Tessa in his arms and carried her holding her as tight as he could. She was too emotionally drained to react.
Kids around were already saying goodbye to their parents, going back to their classrooms.
-"We'll give you some time alone". Ms. Johnson informed Jay and he muttered a "thank you".
-"You can go back to the classroom when you feel ready". Ms. Luna told her student.
-"I hate the bad guys". Tessa managed to say when they were finally alone.
-"Me too". Her father said. -"I'm really, really sorry I didn't hear you sing, but I'm here right now". He wiped the tears from her cheeks.
-"I did it real good, you missed it". She said playing with the key chain in her hands.
-"I bet you did". Jay chuckled. -"What do you have there?".
-"It's a present for you. I made it for you". She extended her short arm to give it to her dad.
-"For me? Is it for my keys? I love it!"
-"It's you and me and lots of hearts. I drew it myself".
-"I can see that. It's beautiful. Thank you, sweetie". Jay's phone started ringing and he sighed when he read the text messages.
-"I have to go back to work".
-"But I don't want you to go". She started crying again.
Ms. Johnson came into the scene to help Tessa go back to her class" -"Daddy has to go back to work, sweetie. Ms. Luna and your friends are waiting for you, let's go". And she took her tenderly in her arms as her crying grew louder.
-"It's all right". Jay reassured her with a kiss. -"I love you. I'll see you at home, ok?". And she disappeared through the door.
He peeked through the classroom window to check on her before departing. He witnessed how Ms. Luna was successfully calming her down and felt a little bit more relaxed to go.
-"Thank you for coming". Ms. Johnson told him with a smile. -"For real".
With a heavy heart, he got into his truck and before turning it on, he hung the keychain in his keys. He inspected the tiny drawing and smiled before going back to the bullpen.
Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a ♡, comment or share. 😌♡
#chicago pd#chicago pd imagine#Jay Halstead#Jay Halstead x reader#Jay halstead x Y/N#Jay Halstead imagine#Jay Halstead one shot#Jay Halstead x you#kevin atwater#One chicago#One chicago one shot#Jay Halstead x daughter
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The way you are.
Pairing: Jay Halstead x reader
Wordcount: 2064
Summary: You joined intelligence three months ago as their tech consultant. You've had a crush on Jay since the moment you met and so has he, you just haven't told each other. But, that just might chance when you decide to get a new look.
Warnings: None. I haven't been kind to Adam though...
Note: First and foremost: one of my best friends has helped my out with the plot, so big thanks to her! The story hasn't turned out exactly as I had planned, but I am satisfied with the result. Let me know if you have any feedback!
Also, the reader has glasses, just because main characters usually don't and it fit the story really well. And finally, I've gotten some inspiration from Morgan and Garcia from Criminal Minds, for those like to know.
Story:
Your heart was pounding as you walked towards your desk in the bullpen. You had started working with the intelligence unit in Chicago just three months ago and you loved it. It felt great knowing you helped put criminals behind bars, even though you did it from behind a computer. Your new colleagues had become your family. Kevin had become the brother you always wanted, Hailey and Kim had become two of your best friends and you had even grown fond of Adam, though his flirting sometimes got close to crossing the line. And then there was Jay. It had taken you less than a week to develop a major crush on the tall, muscular soldier, and who could blame you? The man looked like a dream and had a brain like very few others. Unfortunately, you were pretty sure your feelings weren’t reciprocated. Jay had barely looked at you since you started working in intelligence, let alone talked to you. It hurt and no matter how hard you tried to push away your feelings, they just kept popping up. You had tried to talk to Jay, but it was hard, taking the first step, when the object of you affection seemed to want nothing to do with you. On top of that you had never really been a people person, so you decided to just let it be.
Over the last two months you had seen a small part of the man behind the ocean green eyes and the smooth, freckled skin. You noticed how he interacted with his colleagues in the unit, how he tried to make them laugh when he could, tried to protect them if he needed to and cared about them like they were his brothers and sisters. During the nights you accompanied the unit to Molly’s, you noticed the way he treated the first responders he had crossed paths with and people he had never met with the same care and kindness he treated his closest friends. You just wished he would care about you that way.
The only people in the unit who suspected you of having feelings towards the green eyed detective were Kim and Hailey, but you hadn’t admitted anything to them.
There was one person you had admitted it to though. Your sister was one of those people who got overly exited about everything and when you told her you had a crush on one of your colleagues, she looked like she was about to burst out of her skin. You, of course, tried to calm her down by telling her nothing was ever going to happen between you and Jay, but the damage had already been done. If you had let her, your sister would’ve already started planning your and Jay’s wedding, but at that point you had reached your limit and threatened to leave if she didn’t calm down. The rest of the night, the two of you talked about everything but Jay and it was great. Though your sister wouldn’t be herself if, right before you left, she hadn’t offered you give you a fresh, new look to see if that could possibly attract Jay’s attention. Because, while she could be a lot at times, she deeply cared about you and from what you had told her, you deserved someone as good as Jay by your side.
A week ago you had decided you were done pining over Jay, since all it had brought you so far was pain and so, for the past week, you had ignored him, only talking to him if you had to. You needed a fresh start, so you had taken up your sister on her offer to give you a make over, or, in her words, a fresh, new look. That was the reason that your palms were sweating and your heart was trying to hack its way out of your chest. You had exchanged your usual jeans and flannel for an olive green power suit. You wore your hair down instead of in its usual pony tail and even the pair of rose gold glasses you had worn for years had been replaced by a set of contact lenses.
You couldn’t believe you had given your sister permission to do this. The fabric of the power suit itched, your lenses wouldn’t stay in place and the whole outfit made you feel like a pumpkin in a field of spinach. You couldn’t wait to get home and change.
“Hey, Y/N, you look great!” Hailey said. You mumbled a thanks. Kevin whistled and Adam couldn’t help himself: “Ooh, Y/N, looking smoking!” If they hadn’t noticed you were blushing before, they damn sure would now. You felt like your skin was about to melt off your cheeks. You thanked your colleagues for their complements and hid behind your desk in your pile of paperwork as fast as you could.
That morning a new case had come up. The body of a teenager had been found at a waste disposal site. It had become your job to dig into his online world to see if it had anything to do with the reason he had ended up dead. You knew you shouldn’t, but you couldn’t help relating to the victim more and more as you learned more about him. He was a loner in High School, you had been one years ago. He was more comfortable in his online world than his real one, like you. He was a hacker, so were you. At some point, it felt like you were becoming friends with him, even though you would never actually meet him.
A few hours later sergeant Voight came out of his office. “What do we have?” He asked no one and everyone at once. As your colleagues started rambling about everything they’d found, you just stared at the picture on the board. What if that had been you? What if, one day, you hadn’t come home, only for the cops to call your parents and tell them your body had been found? You felt nauseous just thinking about it, though focusing your mind on something that wasn’t yourself or your new look was kind of comforting. You had been on edge all morning because of it and you knew it wouldn’t take much for you to reach your limit.
Suddenly something Jay said, pulled you back to the conversation in front of you. “Why are cases involving hackers always so difficult?” He asked Hailey. “What do you mean?” The blonde asked in return. “Well, normal kids talk to each other. You just have to talk to their friends to get a bunch of leads. Hackers, like this guy, hide everything, so we have to waste a bunch of time looking for leads, before we can actually start investigating.”
The sound of your desk chair hitting the wall got five heads turning your way. You didn’t pay any attention to them and just left.
Jay’s words kept bouncing around in your skull as the tears that had been building up inside you finally found their way to the surface. You walked into the locker room as fast as you could. You made sure the door closed behind you before walking to your locker and taking the little box and bottle of solution for your contacts out.
A few minutes later you heard the door of the locker room opening. Not now, you thought. You were seated on one of the benches, one contact in the box, the other in your eye. Your cheeks were still wet from your tears and you didn’t doubt you had mascara streaks under your eyes. Needless to say, you didn’t exactly look very charming.
Part of you expected it to be either Kim or Hailey, but when you noticed the boots the person was wearing, it became clear it was neither. You looked up. Right into the eyes of the last person you expected to see. “What are you doing here?” You asked, your gaze returning to the stuff in front of you. “I came to check on you. You just flew out of the bullpen faster than Usain Bolt on one of his best days. What happened?” Jay asked as he sat down next to you. “Nothing, I’m fine, you go and… Why won’t these stupid contacts stay in their place?” You groaned. “Take them out.” Jay said, a soft smile on his face. You did as he said. He stood up and walked over to your locker. Returning with the case that contained your glasses, only you couldn’t see that, having taken out your contacts and put them in the box. Jay carefully placed your metal framed glasses on your nose and handed you a tissue. “There she is. Now, what’s gotten you so upset?” Jay asked. You slightly adjusted your glasses and wiped the tear- and mascara streaks off your face. You took a deep breath and let out everything you’d kept from him for the last two months. “Honestly? You are. You’ve barely said a word to me since I started working here and that sucks because you’re also the guy I’ve had a crush on for two months, but obviously you don’t want anything to do with me, so I figured I should get over it so I let my sister give me a new look, but I’ve never worn anything this itchy, these contacts suck and my hair won’t get out of my face. And on top of that what you just said about hackers isn’t true. We are normal, we have friends and once you get to know one of us, our hiding places become obvious.” You were out of breath when you stopped talking, scared to look into Jay’s beautiful green eyes. “I am so sorry. You’re right, I didn’t mean it that way. Calling them “normal kids” was a bad choice of words and I’m sure hackers have friends too. But you know I wasn’t talking about you right? I was talking about the kid whose murder we’re investigating. You’re not him.” Jay told you. “I know, I just used to be a lot like him in High School, but I guess, for me, that’s a long time ago and I’m not that little girl anymore.” You said, realising you may have overreacted a bit. “Yeah, and you’re still here. He’s not. And as for why I didn’t really talk to you, I’ve had a crush on you from the moment you walked into the bullpen. I just got terrified I’d screw things up if I opened my mouth, so I tried to show you how I felt by getting you coffee or cleaning your desk. Hell, I’ve been doing the cleaning lady’s job for her for the past three months.” Jay confessed. Suddenly a bunch of puzzle pieces fell into place. You had found a hot cup of coffee on your desk everyday, sometimes multiple times a day, but somehow never wondered who put it there. You had even noticed your workspace sometimes looked cleaner than the others, but you just figured the cleaning lady started with your desk and therefore had less energy when she reached the others.
Jay’s voice was still bouncing around your skull, only now saying the words: I’ve had a crush on you. You couldn’t think rationally anymore so you did the only thing you could think of. You kissed him. As your hands found their way into his hair, his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer. You pulled back when you heard the bottle of contact solution fall on the ground. Jay let go of you and picked it up. You felt a shiver run down your spine. Had it been this cold this entire time? Jay looked at you and then noticed your jacket. It was discarded on the ground in front of your locker. He stood up and seconds later you felt a piece of fabric covering your shoulders. It was a flannel. It was his flannel. He sat back in front of you and cupped your face, looking into your eyes. “And Y/N, while you did look incredibly hot in that power suit, you look just as good in jeans and even in a garbage bag for all I care. You are beautiful, just the way you are.”
#chicago pd#jay halstead x reader#jay halstead#kim burgess#kevin atwater#adam ruzek#hank voight#hailey upton#one chicago#jay halstead x you
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Chicago PD Masterlist
Reaction (Will Halstead, Adam Ruzek x Everleigh Lindsay)
Photographs (Antonio Dawson, Intelligence x Reader)
Baby (Adam Ruzek x Reader)
Panic (Adam Ruzek x Reader)
Shooting (Adam Ruzek x Manning!Reader)
Saving Him ( Reader x Adam Ruzek, Alvin Olinsky, Intelligence, Med)
Back Home (Jay Halstead x Halstead!Reader (Wife), Adam Ruzek, Kevin Atwater)
Back In Town (Reader x Adam Ruzek, Kelly Severide, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz, Jay Halstead, Will Halstead, Intelligence + More) Part I Part 1 *NSFW* Part 2
Blood (Kevin Atwater x Reader)
No Air (Adam Ruzek x reader, Kelly Severide x sister!reader)
That's Alvin Olinksy (Leslie Shay x Halstead!Reader)
Meet The Boyfriend (Dante Torres x reader)
Protective *NSFW* (Dante Torres x Atwater!reader)
#chicago pd imagine#chicago pd x reader#chicago pd prompt#chicago pd masterlist#adam ruzek x you#adam ruzek imagine#adam ruzek x sister#adam ruzek x reader#reader x adam ruzek#jay halstead#reader x jay halstead#jay halstead x reader#jay halstead x sister#jay halstead smut#alvin olinsky x reader#kevin atwater image#kevin atwater x reader#kevin atwater#reader x antonio dawson#antonio dawson#antonio dawson x reader#antonio dawson imagine#one chicago#chicaog pd
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Just For A Moment - Part 6
I am feeling emotional, so what better way to channel it than angsty angst </3
I thought I'd do part 6 with a bit of insight on Hailey's emotions, and give a bit more context of that night.
TW: (slight) dub-con? (Depends how you would read the scenario), angst, mentions of cheating
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Masterlist
Jay had caught Hailey's eye from the first moment she had seen him. Her eyes followed his every move and traced over every freckle. So when she was able to build a tentative friendship with the man, she had reluctantly allowed hope to build in the pit of her heart praying something would happen.
But it wouldn't. Or at least, it couldn't.
Not when his heart was already held in the hands of another.
Hailey's heart beat for Jay, but his heart belonged to another, and his heart sang for the same girl Hailey found herself growing envious towards as the day passed.
Aurora looked nothing like her - dark hair, free-flowing curls, tanned skin, a bright smile, and glowing eyes. Aurora was everything she wasn't, everything she couldn't be, and that's why Hailey wasn't surprised to learn that Aurora had gotten to him before she ever had the chance.
Still, she told herself it was platonic - the friendship she shared with Jay. An innocent friendship she hid her longing behind, accepting every friendly pat or cheery grin with a perfectly placed mask of contentment.
She would take what he would give.
She had taken what he gave. She had taken, and taken, and taken. Until she could no longer do it.
Maybe it was because she had one too many drinks, or because the last case had hit her in a vulnerable place she had long forgotten about - or maybe she was just cruel and selfish, and had to have whatever it was she wanted.
Hailey had never been selfish, never had the chance to be. So what would be the harm if she was selfish just this once.
That was what she had told herself when he trudged towards Jay's apartment that night. Feigning panic and using the heartache she had felt for so many months - seeing Jay in the arms of another woman - as a mask to convince him. To convince him she needed him. She needs him.
She had cried in his arms, she asked him to hold her - begged. And he had. He was a good friend.
But she didn't want that, she wanted more.
When she risked a glance at him, his eyes glassy and unfocused despite his best attempts to do so, she took her chance. A light kiss, her lips barely brushing against his own as she held her breath.
She pulled back, surveying his expression and waiting.
Waiting.
Jay sat frozen, shoulders rigid as his brows furrowed in confusion. But he hadn't said to stop.
She kissed him again, harder. She poured every ounce of longing, every ache, every envious chill, every inch of passion and love her body held and fed it into him, hoping he would accept her.
He would mumble against her lips, whispers filled with confusion and desperation melded with pleads of a woman's name that was not her own.
"It's me, Jay. I'm here, your Hailey's here."
The words seemed to have sobered him up, looking up at her as though he was seeing someone completely new. Jay tried to blink through the confusion, but the peppered kisses and light brushes felt good against his burning skin, the coos of praises and promises echoed through his clouded mind.
He wants this. He does, right?
He wants this, she said he does.
So he gave in - gave in so easily that he still lives with the shame of doing so. He lives with the guilt of giving in without a second glance, of not trying to stop, of not trying to move away, of not trying.
Hailey could see it on his face every day afterwards - the way he would flinch at her every touch, the way he would lean away from her when he thought she wouldn't notice, how he replied to her texts slower until he stopped completely.
She had told him it was a mistake, that it would stay between them, and they would move on and be friends.
Jay had accepted, but he knew there was a part of him broken by the night he betrayed Aurora. But the fear of her finding out was far worse than having to stay friends with Hailey, hoping she never confessed to their guilty actions.
Hailey had spoken her words, knowing she didn't believe a single one - she hoped, with every day that passed, Jay would come to her and need her. Ask for her. Beg for her.
That day never came, and when Aurora came back to Chicago Hailey knew it never would.
Perhaps that was why she couldn't find it in herself to be angry as she watched the scene unfold in front of her.
Hailey had been to Jay's apartment every night after Aurora had returned, knocking and calling out to him. When she was inevitably ignored, she would ring and call him, pleading with him to see sense and come back to work, or to at least talk to her.
Three days had gone by, and the team was almost ready to execute the undercover operation with Aurora, when she would assume her new identity later tonight.
And it was on this night that Jay had returned.
***
Aurora was in the locker room with Kim, someone who used to be close friends with Hailey but had distanced herself and become quieter after the Aurora had left.
Hailey knew she had destroyed something precious in the group, had forced them to lose another team mate - another friend, another part of their family.
But why was she not enough?
She was snapped out of her reverie by the sound of ascending footsteps, slow and heavy thuds that had become such a familiar sound she turned her head towards the stairs instinctively.
There he stood, a man broken by the consequences of his own actions, eyes tired and face blank as his eyes scanned over the room. His gaze was fleeting as it crossed her figure that was hunched over the desk - paperwork laid astray in a frantic manner.
She felt a stab of disappointment at the action.
Even when she was there, right in front of him, right under his nose. Jay didn't see her. He wouldn't. Because he didn't want to.
But why not? Why was she not enough for him?
Voight stepped out of his office before she could say a word, before she could pour out all the words running through her mind in tumultuous waves, disregarding any shame or fear.
"Jay," his voice, though gravelly, was dipped in a soothing tinge of relief, "it's good to have you back"
Still, they pasted on a smile, hiding the strain in their eyes as they imagined the possible scenarios that could unfold. They made their way towards Jay, exchanging supportive hugs and firm pats on the shoulder - they would be there for him, in whichever way he let them. In any way they could.
His words finally prompted Adam and Kevin to turn his way, shock tugging at their features as they regarded him with wide eyes - knowing the girl he was pining over was not even a door away from him.
"Welcome back, man. Wasn't the same without you."
Kevin's statement was true, but the words only brought a tense smile on Jay's face - the office wasn't the same without her.
And she only left because of him.
His mouth opened, ready to spew words of appeasement or acknowledgement. Hailey wasn't sure, but she watched with intense eyes as she, for once, sat back and didn't approach the man she was head over heels in love with.
There was a crack of a word - the starting of a, no doubt, very short sentence. And Hailey found herself sweltering in frustration and anxiety when it was cut off by the sound of heels lightly tapping against the floor.
Aurora.
Hailey sat up straighter, eyes flickering between Aurora's oblivious form as she approached a wound-up Jay. Kim was trailing behind her, a nervous smile on her face as she tried to keep up their tentative conversation.
But it didn't matter because when Aurora stepped out into the office, she had all but stopped mid-sentence herself. A look of bafflement spread across her face, and a similar expression began pulling across Jay's, except his was tainted my rivulets of regret and guilt.
Jay stepped back as though her presence was a physical hit against him, and Aurora's face shuttered as she drew in a sharp breath.
It was like they were trapped in their own bubble, oblivious to all those around them as they stared at each other for the first time in months.
Hailey could admit, Aurora looked good. Great even.
Always beautiful, ever graceful, and a heart full of passion that she carried everywhere she went.
Unlike Jay, Aurora didn't carry her sadness out in the open for all to see. It was hidden in a part so deep and dark, she hoped it would never escape.
But Jay, he couldn't think of anything worse than the night Aurora had left him crying and broken. So he wore his agony out for all to see, a show of his remorse and a sign of his undying devotion to do what he must to make things right.
Seconds pass, or perhaps it was minutes.
It was Jay who broke first, a revelation that had Hailey look down at her desk, feigning signatures as her eyes burned and her cheeks became heated with embarassment and fury.
Jay couldn't help it, seeing her standing there. She looked so real. So true. As though, finally, she was more than an alcohol-induced dream, a hallucination, an echo just out of grasp.
Her hair was let out, flowing down her back in soft curls as she wore a long black gown with a slit at each leg. The gown cinched at her waist, and the neck was low and deep. Around her neck sat a gold necklace, and a feeling of deja vu washed over Jay at the sight of it.
She looked beautiful, like she deserved to have her every step treasured. She deserved devotion and adoration, love and kindness, loyalty and undying passion.
Longing began to fester in the base of his throat, a feeling so familiar that he swallowed through it with perfect ease.
"Aurora."
Jay hadn't called her that in so long, always Rory. Just Rory.
But hearing her name on his lips, after so long. It broke the cage she had locked that frail and trampled part of her soul into, it tugged at her heart and ripped at her throat.
Her eyes welled with tears as she looked at the man in front of her.
He wore his sadness with open arms.
Jay had lost weight - though still muscular and fit, he was not the same man she had left all those months ago. His eyes were weighed down by purple bags, the whites of his eyes tainted by the red of no sleep, a permanent scruff etched across his face, and clothes that were too rumpled for her to believe he had even changed before he came in today.
Surprisingly, Jay was just as broken as she was. Only Jay couldn't hide it.
There was a part of her that was furious at that - Jay had hurt her, and yet here he was breaking into tears as though he deserved her sympathy.
On the other hand, there was a part of her, so loving and so knowing, that simmered with relief at the sight of his anguish.
Jay missed her, he needed her. He said she was enough, perhaps he really did mean it.
Or perhaps his words were fuelled by the heavy load of a guilty man.
The thought was enough to snap her out from the longing, which scratched at her soul - begging and pleading to give in. Instead, she blinked, a passive look painted across her face. A flawless mask finished with a rigid smile. She nodded at Jay, forcing her hands not to tremble at the crestfallen look on his face.
Jay took a step forward, as though he was trying to prove to her he existed. As though he took her silence as a sign she hadn't seen him, and he wanted her to.
Needed her to.
But Aurora stepped back with a flinch, eyes flickering with pooling tears as she forced back her pain and tried to remain formal. She reached into her training, pulling at every strand and every inch of stoicism she could find within her body to present an unfazed facade as she turned towards Voight.
"I'm ready."
"Ready? Ready for what?"
Jay's voice was laced with incredulity, his head spinning at the fact that Aurora was here. She was here right in front of him.
But just like those few weeks so many months ago, she had barely acknowledged him.
Jay wanted to feel seen, but the only person who had ever made him feel so was now ignoring him.
Hailey was like a friend to him. He found camraderie in her presence, recognition in her touch. They faced similar struggles, similar lives. It was like looking into a reflection of some sort, seeing himself just as determined and strong on the other side.
But what life could a person live with their own reflection.
Such a life would be lonely and draining, boring and idle.
Aurora was the woman who had captured his heart, stolen his breath, and tied herself with his soul. She was a breath of fresh air, a source of comfort and warmth. She was a listening ear and loving companion. She balanced him out, smoothed out his edges, and evened out his temper.
He found mutual respect and care in his friendship to Hailey, but he found that and so much more in Aurora. In Aurora, he found the woman who gave him purpose - a brightly lit candle, a roaring flame, and a gentle guide out of the darkness that clouded his mind, the horrors that painted his past.
And here she was, standing in front of him. A dream just out of reach.
Was she back in Chicago permanently? Had she rejoined Intelligence? Was she here because of him? Or was it because of the guy at the bar?
The thoughts raced across his mind so fast Jay's eyes began to flicker over every object within his vicinity as he tried to sort through them.
Aurora is back.
She's back.
Seeing Jay's eyes shine with reverence, they were glossy in the light with unshed tears. Even in his state of confusion, he couldn't hide his adoration and couldn't hide his devotion.
Hailey felt her throat burn with nausea - how could she have been so blind.
#jay halstead x you#jay halstead x oc#jay halstead x reader#jay halstead angst#jay halstead#chicago med#chicago one#chicago#chicago fire#chicago pd#hailey upton#jay halstead x hailey upton#hank voight#kim burgess#kevin atwater
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Hey guys !!
With the changes I've made to the characters I write for and such, I'm going to reset my taglists.
Here is the link to resubmit your user. HERE pretty please do I want to make sure you guys can still see my stuff. <3
A/n: I don't write for Chicago PD anymore (Jay, Hailey, Kev)
And I've also decided to close my Connor requests probably for good. I'm not sure if I'll open them back up again. I did have two requests for him that I have been trying to write but I unfortunately probably won't because of my brain.
I'm sorry if any of this is upsetting? I don't know lol but my form is very messy so I want to clean it up.
Have a good day babes.
xx Teddy
#Teddy talks#masterlist#writing#writing prompts#will halstead#Matt casey#Leslie shay#brian otis zvonecek#jay halstead#Hailey upton#Kevin atwater#Connor rhodes#Robert chase#James wilson#only tagging all of these because I assume anyone that wants to be back on my taglist#follows these tags#you know?#Robert chase x reader#will Halstead x reader#Matt casey x reader#James wilson x reader
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alive | j. halstead
summary: chasing down an offender doesn't go quite as planned (dw it ends fluffy)
pairing: established (married) fem!reader x jay halstead, platonic!reader x adam ruzek
word count: 1.75k
warnings: canon-level violence, gunshot, hospitals, medical inaccuracies
a/n: meet a seasoned fanfic writer's first fic about jay <3 please let me know what you think of this !! also it was originally written in 3rd pov so if you see anything wrong, no you didn't
----
You followed Adam down the alley, weapons drawn. "Chicago PD! Stop!"
You felt your lungs burn as you raced down the alley, nodding when you saw Adam silently gesture to enter through the front door, and he would take the back.
Noticing the door was already open, you walked in, eyes alert for any sign of a victim or offender.
Hearing Adam call out a "clear!" you opened your mouth to do the same, but didn't make it that far as you heard three shots ring out, feeling two sharp pains tear through your body.
Adam, having seen the offender shoot you, quickly fired a round of his own weapon, pressing a button on his radio. "5021 Ida, shots fired by offender and police! We need an ambo to our location, plain-clothed officers at the scene, one in need of urgent medical care!"
Near the end of the block that you and Adam were on, Jay's head shot up to meet Hailey's, hearing their coworker's distraught call into the radio.
The two sprinted out of their location, and down to the abandoned house, hearing the sirens grow louder.
"Ruz! Where are you guys?!" Jay called, stomping through the house.
He felt his heart plummet when he saw his wife on the floor, bullet hole in your shoulder and belly, Adam holding his jacket over the wounds.
"Y/N!" He fell to his knees next to you, letting out a breath when you looked at him.
"J-Jay, I didn't see him coming." You mumbled, breaths shaky.
"Shh, it's okay, hon. You're going to be alright." Jay reassured you, his hands trembling as he reached out to stroke her the back from your face. He shot a panicked look at Adam, who was still pressing down on the bullet wounds.
"Ambo's en route, Jay," Adam said, his voice tight with worry. "She's strong, she's gonna pull through this."
Jay didn't answer, his attention solely focused on his wife. He held onto your hand, willing his strength into you. "Hang in there, baby."
"I'm trying," you answered weakly.
Just then Voight and Kevin Atwater stormed into the room. The sight of you on the floor left them momentarily stunned before they sprung into action. Voight acknowledged Ruzek with a curt nod and Atwater immediately moved to Jay's side, helping apply pressure to your wounds.
The sirens outside grew louder as the ambulance neared their location. It wasn't long before the paramedics came rushing in with a stretcher, immediately getting to work on stabilizing you for transport to Med.
As they carried you out of the house, Jay followed closely behind, fear etched on his face but determination in his eyes. He watched as they loaded yoiu into the ambulance before climbing in right after them.
The team was left in the eerily quiet house -- a stark contrast to the chaos moments ago. Voight looked around at his team, each one wearing an expression of concern and fear for their colleague.
"Everyone alright?" he asked gruffly, though there was a hint of concern in his tone.
Ruzek and Atwater both nodded, and soon the team made their way to Chicago Med, making home in the waiting room, wanting to be there for both you and Jay.
Jay, having hopped out of the ambulance as you were unloaded and ushered into a trauma room, a few nurses stopping him from going in. "Jay, Jay stop!"
The detective pulled a hand through his hair, looking at his older brother, Will. "Will, you gotta help her, man."
Shaking his head, he nodded to where his coworkers Dr. Marcel and Dr. Choi were working on you, who had since lost consciousness. "I can't, bro. She's family, against hospital policy."
Jay hit the wall, tears coming to his eyes. "I can't lose her, man. We just got married, this can't be the end."
Will clapped his brother on the back, jaw tense. "They got her, Jay. She'll be good, she's a strong one."
The two brothers watched as you were rushed into emergency surgery, being told to wait in the waiting room for any updates.
------
Jay stared at the clock on the wall across from him, watching the hands move as time passed. It had been two hours since you were taken to the O.R., and as much as Will tried, he wasn't able to get any more information out of his coworkers.
"Hey, man." Adam walked over to Jay, handing him a coffee.
"Thanks." Jay spoke, voice raw. "You saved her life, Ruz."
Adam shook his head, sitting next to Jay. "It was my idea to split up. If we stuck together, maybe she wouldn't have gotten hit."
Jay looked at his friend. "Don't blame yourself, Ruz."
The two detectives sat in silence, only perking up when Will and Dr. Marcel walked out into the waiting room.
"Is she-" Jay cut himself off, unable to finish the question.
"She's alive. We got both the bullets out, there was some damage to her shoulder, but we were able to repair it all."
Jay let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, grateful smile on his face. "Can I see her?"
Dr. Marcel shook his head. "Not right now. She's being moved to a recovery room in the I.C.U., a nurse will come out to bring you to her when she's settled."
"Will she still be able to be a cop?" Adam asked, the question plaguing him ever since he saw you hit the ground.
"With physical therapy and rest, Y/N should get full function and mobility of her shoulder. It won't be fast, she'll need lots of rest."
Jay thanked the surgeon, shaking his hand before he walked away.
------
Once the team had all heard that you made it through surgery, they headed back to the district to close up the case, the offender in CPD's morgue.
Jay sat up when a nurse walked over to him, smile on her face. Maggie, he recalled, from when Will introduced them a while ago. "She’s awake, she's asking for you."
Rising from the uncomfortable seat, Jay groaned as his back cracked, following Maggie down the halls to the I.C.U.
He smiled when he finally laid eyes on you, blinking blearily as the door opened and you saw your husband.
"Jay," you sighed in relief, her voice barely a whisper.
His breath hitched in his throat as he approached the bed. Your face was paler than he remembered, hair fanned out on the white hospital pillow. The sight of seeing you awake, those sparkling eyes looking at him despite being clouded by painkillers and fatigue, was enough to bring tears prickling in his eyes.
"Hey, baby," he murmured, carefully taking your hand and pressing a kiss to it. "How are you feeling?"
You gave a small wry smile. "Like I’ve been shot twice."
He chuckled weakly, stroking your hand with his thumb. "They said you did great in surgery."
You shrugged slightly, wincing after. "I don't remember much."
"They also said you’ll need a lot of rest and physical therapy for your shoulder."
You nodded slowly. “That’s okay. I can handle it.”
Jay looked at you, admiration clear in his eyes. Despite having just woken up from surgery and being shot twice, you were still trying to put up a brave face.
"There's my soldier," he said softly, brushing a loose strand of your hair from her your-drenched forehead.
Just then there was a soft knock on the door and Will walked in followed Dr. Marcel.
Dr. Marcel greeted you two with a warm smile as he approached your bed. He checked on your vitals before turning to Will and Jay.
"She's doing well considering the circumstances," Dr. Marcel reported.
Will nodded, sending you a comforting smile. "Should be able to get discharged in a few day’s time."
You nodded, looking at the sling your arm was in. "How long do I need to wear this?"
Dr. Marcel smirked, Will had warned him that his sister-in-law wasn't one to sit around and do nothing. "At least a month, but it depends on how your physical therapy goes. But, for a couple weeks, you can't move your arm. We had to repair some muscles in your shoulder, so it'll be sore."
You nodded, thanking the doctor as he left, Will following.
Jay looked at you, sad smile on his face. "Ruz is blaming himself."
You frowned, trying to sit up, wincing as your abdomen throbbed.
"Hey, hey, take it easy." Jay helped you sit up, making sure you were comfortable.
"Can I see the team? At least Adam, I want him to know it wasn't his fault." You looked at your husband, who nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead, heading down to grab the team.
------
After a few days, you were finally able to leave the hospital. You had signed the discharge paperwork, and Jay walked back into the room after pulling the car around, soft smile on his face when he saw you struggling to get her coat on, one arm still in the sling.
"Here, let me help," he offered, walking over to you. He helped you put on the coat, paying extra attention to not disturb your injured shoulder.
You met his eyes and offered him a soft smile. "Thanks, babe."
Jay just nodded, his throat choked with emotion. He was relieved that you were okay but knew you had a long way to go for your complete recovery. He gently took your hand, gave it a squeeze, and lead out of the room.
As they walked through the silent corridors, you leaned into him slightly. It was subtle but Jay noticed it immediately. He wrapped his arm around you, offering her comfort and support. The worry lines on his face seemed to deepen as they moved towards the exit of the hospital.
Outside, the city was bustling as usual. The harsh city lights reflected off Jay's face as he helped you into their car before moving around to sit in the driver's seat.
The ride home was quiet. The only sound was the low hum of the engine and the occasional honk from nearby traffic. You were staring out of the window, mind lost in thoughts while Jay focused on driving, occasionally glancing over at his wife.
“Hey, Jay?” You looked over at him, voice quiet.
Jay hummed, glancing at you while he pressed on the gas petal when the light turned green.
“Just,” you paused, feeling a teenager in love again. “I love you.”
----
a/n: did u like it? also please don't expect good titles ever titles always make me wanna punch a brick wall
#jay halstead x reader#jay halstead#chicago pd#one chicago#jay halstead x you#jay halstead x fem!reader#jay halstead imagine#chicago pd fanfic
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Love on ice
Characters: Jay Halstead x Reader, Adam Ruzek, Kevin Atwater, Makayla Burgess, Jordan Atwater
Warnings: None
Summary: Jay unveils one of his biggest secrets to help a friend.
A/N: I got some inspiration from one of the chicago pd episodes this season. Thought it would be cute but it didn't turn out as nice as I wanted it to.
Wrapping up a successful case felt good. Damages were kept to a minimal and Jay was certain this case in particular wouldn't haunt him in his dream which was always a bonus.
Jay was currently messaging you, keeping his smile hidden behind his hand so no one would interrogate him. He had been able to keep you his best kept secret for a year now and no one knew besides Will because of your sudden appearance at his door one night but he'd been sworn to secrecy.
Pressing his lips together, he kept down a chuckle at one of your well thought out jokes and put his phone down, promising to call you on his way home. Just as he was going to sign off all his paperwork before signing off for the night, Jay became aware of the conversation everyone was participating in besides him.
"We can skate but she wants professionalism." Kim stressed, leaning back on her chair as she talked about who Jay guessed was Makayla. "She straight up told us no when I offered to teach her myself."
"You did tell her that Jordan is pretty good, right?" Kevin asked, looking at his best friend questiongly before looking back to his monitor.
"We tried that Kev." Adam answered for Kim, pushing his chair back to his own desk. "She needs to see him on the ice first."
Jay felt like he would regret his actions but deep down, he adored Kim and Adam's daughter. Maybe you wouldn't shout at him if it was for Makayla's sake.
"You said she wants a professional skater?" Jay asked, finally stepping into the conversation. Turning around in his chair, he found it funny how everyone looked at him with the same question hanging on the tips of their tongues.
"Yeah..." Kim trailed, going to ask him something but was cut off.
"We've got the day off tomorrow, I know someone if you're willing." Jay discreetly offered, shrugging his shoulders as though nothing was suspicious about how vague he was being.
Kim and Adam shared a glance, having a silent conversation with their eyes before shrugging. "Sure, why not. Send me the address of the rink?"
"You got it."
*****
When Jay came home yesterday night with that stupid sheepish smile on his face, the first thing you felt was fear. You still felt it now along with a newfound nervousness.
Skating had been your livelihood, your blood ever since you could walk. Skating was more familiar to you than some common knowledge but you would never complain.
It was actually skating that brought you and Jay together in the first place.
You met him after practice and bumped into him on your way to the gym. Hitting it off was easy and it was smooth sailing from there.
You never questioned why Jay's friends and co-workers were still unaware of your existence, especially when he had to deal with your past.
You loved skating more than a lot of things so it confused you as to why you were so nervous.
"Y/N, why are you so nervous?" Jay asked you, leaning forward against the guard rails. He refused to get on the ice and insisted on watching from afar. He could see your tells: fidgeting with the end of your sleeve, spinning in circles and refusing to stay still.
"What if I'm not up to her standards?" You asked, gently pushing yourself towards him, letting him take your hands in his before you wore a hole into your shirt sleeve.
"Are you kidding? She'll love you." Jay huffed with a smile at the thought of someone not being impressed by you. "Ruzeks probably expecting some skater I knew back in the days who owed me a favour."
You rose a brow, looking at him expectantly.
"Yes, I owe you one."
Before you could voice or show him your appreciation for his short words, you were stopped by the doors opening and a small group of four entering. You didn't recognise them but Jay definitely did.
"Yo Jay! What's up?" Kevin waved at his friend, Jordan at his side. You both knew of the Atwater brothers joining you which you had no problem with.
"Hey guys, hey Makayla." Jay greeted, doing a 'man hug' and spudding the young girl who eagerly smiled at him.
"This is my girlfriend Y/N." Jay introduced you to his friends. He reached out to you, pulling you closer even though he was on dry land and you on ice.
As soon as your name left his lips, all four heads snapped in your direction, mouths agape and eyes wide in shock. You secretly hoped they wouldn't know who you were but it made sense if they were into skating.
"Y/N Y/L/N. Jay managed to snag Y/N?" Adam asked himself, astonished as to how you two were even dating and how no one ever knew you guys were dating.
You sheepishly smiled, shaking hands with each of them, even Makayla who was frozen.
It was as if you were a celebrity who worked in Hollywood the way she looked up you; her eyes shining in adoration and the brightest smile spreading, her dimples really popping out.
"Hi Makayla." You knowingly smiled at the girl, holding out your hand to shake hers over the barrier. "It's nice to finally meet you."
Glitter was practically sparkling in her eyes as her mouth remained agape at the face she had only ever seen on the tv screen at home. Her dreams were all of a sudden coming true and she found herself struggling to compute.
Adam gently nudged her with his hand on her shoulder, prompting her to return your handshake which she rapidly did once she was shaken out of her stupor.
"You- you're Y/N Y/L/N." She stated the obvious, hand still shaking yours unknowingly.
"That's me." You nodded, gently releasing her hand and going forth to shake the three mens hands.
"I'm Y/N." You introduced yourself to your boyfriends colleagues. "You guys skating with us or no?"
Adam reluctantly shook his head as if ashamed. "Nah, only Jordan and Makayla are skating."
"That's great." You smiled, pushing yourself away from the barrier. "Get your skates on and we can start straight away. Show me what you got."
And with that, Makayla wasted no time in sitting down and getting her skates on, all the men surrounding her laughing at her hastiness.
*****
Jay's eyes were burning from how long and hard he'd been staring at the investigation board. The words were merging together and he could no longer recognise the faces as they all became one big blur.
He desperately needed sleep after being up all night, being called onto a scene just at the two of you got under the covers. It was now midday on a Saturday and everyone just began pouring in once Jay called them all that this was starting to become something serious.
Deciding to rest his eyes for a mere second to reduce the incessant twitching, he internally groaned when he heard the familiar sound of mixed laughter getting louder as they approached the bullpen.
"Oh, you look like hell Jay." Adam said, deciding to go straight for the jugular as he shrugged off his jacket.
"What's up dude? Looks like you've been through it." Kevin said with a bit more empathy, lightly patting the back of his shoulder as a sort of greeting before going towards his own desk.
Before Jay could respond with the most snarkiest remark anyone has ever heard in their life, he was rudely cut off by Kim whose face suddenly brightened, making him physically wince.
"Jay, why did you never tell us you had an Olympic gold medalist girlfriend?"
The bullpen was filled with pin drop silence.
"You have a girl? No way, since when?" Antonio said jokingly, smirking as he riled up the younger detective. "And an athlete? Never thought you had it in you."
"Hmm, thanks a lot Tonio." Jay rolled his eyes, blinking rapidly as he stood up and stretched his arms. "That actually reminds me..."
The officers and detective watch the green eyed man fumble with his wallet and pull out several bills, accidentally slamming it down with way too much force on Adam's desk.
"Y/N refuses your payment and insists all of the skating lessons are free." Jay said, shrugging his shoulders at the confused faces of Makayla's parents. "She also said something about sponsorship and coaching but I can't remember."
"It's official Jay." Adam said with the most serious face ever, begrudgingly taking and putting the money back into his own wallet.
"I like Y/N more than you."
#one chicago x reader#one chicago imagine#jay halstead#jay halstead x reader#onechicago#chicago pd x reader#chicago pd#jay halstead oneshot#jay x reader#jay halstead fanfiction#jay halstead imagine
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Why did you invite me?
Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Reader
Warnings: angst, mentions of miscarriages, unedited
She’s getting married?
Melissa is getting married…
It’s been years since we broke up but although the years I was never able to truly move on or delete her number. It was one in the morning when I got her message so she never deleted mine either, it was a wedding invite.
Except wedding was spelt wrong so she must’ve been drunk.. she was getting married next month and she wants me there? To some guy named Gary. I like to pretend that I still cross her mind sometimes, in the mornings as I make our daughter breakfast. She wouldn’t know about her.
I remember when she called me thinking her dad was dying when we were in highschool, I still remember running across south philly to make sure she was alright. I remember kissing her when she found out he was fine, the feeling of her relaxing in my arms as she sobbed.
Prom…
We went to prom only not together
Maybe we were scared
I know I was
The boys laughed but all Melissa did was grab my hand dragging me to dance, boys would always be mean but it didn’t matter when I had her but we never brought it up again after that.
Why did she invite me in the middle of the night?
Anna stirred on the couch as the movie finished, I hadn’t put her to bed yet too shocked to move. Would I even go? I had tried to tell her about Anna when we broke up seven years ago. Melissa said our separation was for the best that she wasn’t happy anymore, maybe it was the pregnancy struggles over the years.
It was my fault.
How would it even work? Going to the wedding, would we pretend as if nothing had ever happened? As I watched the love of my life get married to someone else. I don’t think it was fair that I wanted to run but I wanted to support her maybe I would pretend it was me in his place.
How would she react to Anna glued to my hip? Why would she do this?
I remember when she had started to pull away after the second miscarriage it was hard on both of us but we still tried and pretended to be okay. We continued with the IVF one last time just once until we finally crumbled the wallpaper slipped and windows cracked.
She’s getting married
And not to me…
#imagine#wlw#lisa ann walter#lisa ann walter x reader#angst#melissa schemmenti imagine#melissa schemmenti x gary#melissa ann schemmenti#melissa schemmenti x reader#abott elementary#Spotify
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Until The Cops Come Knocking
Characters: Kevin Atwater x Black!Reader.
Summary: A simple house call turns into a pleasant surprise.
Warnings: Let’s see, just a smidge of spice. Fluffiness and flirtation included. There are a few sprinkles of profanity. There may be instances where you cackle loudly.
Word Count: 2,700+.
A/N: I know. You’re shocked I took time away from my baby daddy, Rio. It’s just something about Atwater and Halstead, though. Wait until you see what else I’m cooking up for those two. I honestly couldn’t tell you how this random idea came about. That’s the joy of being a Libra. My imagination just keeps going and going. IT’S LIBRA SZN BABY♎️! Enjoy my sweet lovelies.
Song Inspo💞:
Boot-covered footsteps thumped down the winding stairwell of the run-down apartment building. The creaking door of the entrance swung open as both detectives released an exhausted and irritated breath. Both men took in their surroundings as they approached the large pickup truck they arrived in. Seeing nothing lurking about, Jay slid into the driver’s side as Kevin took residence in the passenger seat. The men released another irritated sigh before Halstead spoke, “This damn case has us running in circles. There has got to be something we’re missing here.”
“These dead ends are wasting valuable time. If we don’t get a hold of things soon, this sick psycho will slip through our fingers. For all we know, he could be halfway to Mexico by now. None of these witnesses are going to cooperate.”
“We’ll figure something out. We just have to find a way to convince them we can protect them and their families from this monster. We should wrap this up for the night, though. We’re both too tired to follow up on any more pointless leads. I say we head back to the precinct, check in with the team, and call it a night.”
The men agree it’s probably the best bet as Jay turns over the engine. As they begin the journey back to the precinct, a call comes in over the radio. There are multiple reports of a noise complaint about a party at a property in a neighborhood only minutes from their current location. Atwater shrugs his shoulders at Halstead.
“I mean, we are only five minutes away. Might as well check it out real quick.”
“It’s probably some spoiled-ass rich kid throwing a kegger,” Jay responds. “Let’s just get this over with,” he chuckles, shaking his head.
“It’s strange. This address sounds familiar. Have we ever answered any calls or done investigative work on this street,” Kevin questioned.
“I feel like I’ve been here with Haley or Voight, but I can’t say for sure.”
Kevin gave him a slight head nod as his phone vibrated in his left pocket. Checking the notification brings a small smile to his face. Atwater’s eyebrows twist in confusion as he reads the message. Jay glanced in his direction, laughing at his friend's facial expression.
“Bro? Are you good? If you stare at that screen any harder, it may glitch,” he joked. “What’s wrong? Are you in the dog house or something? And please don’t hit me with that, “who says I’m dating anyone nonsense.” The girls are on to you. You’ve been missing happy hour for months now. Giving us the excuse that you’re tired. You’ve turned down every woman within the last four months.”
Kevin ignored most of what Jay said, returning to the initial question.
“It’s this text, bro. Either words are missing, or I’m being butt-texted. Is that even a thing,” he asked, still puzzled.
Before Jay could respond, another text came through. Kevin read the three-word text and guffawed. His tongue wet his bottom lip before the bottom lip tucked between his teeth. He was fighting the heat from the three words on his screen.
Mamas🤤😈🫶🏾: need fuck daddy
Baeee🙈💓🫶🏾: Oh! That’s how you’re feeling, mamas? I thought you were out with your girls tonight.
Mamas🤤😈🫶🏾: M so tips feels so goods need daddy😩🤤.
Baeee🙈💓🫶🏾: Drop your location, baby. I’ll come to get you. I’ll scoop you when I finish up here. Stay put, love.
Mamas🤤😈🫶🏾:
“I see you’ve deciphered the message. What’s up,” Jay asked.
“It’s nothing, dog. It’s just a little inside joke. You wouldn’t get it,” Kevin lied.
“Your reply sounds suspicious as hell. I would question it further, but we’ve arrived at our destination.”
“Damn! You can hear the music from the gate entrance. Don’t they have security? It is a gated community.”
“They’ve visited this house twice already. They told neighbors to call the authorities a third time.”
“This should be fun,” Atwater responded dryly.
Jay was the first one to approach the door. With a gentle nod, both men positioned their hands on their holsters, and Halstead gave a firm knock.
“Sounds like a bunch of drunk women,” Kevin whispered quickly, releasing a small laugh.
“Dear Lord. It sounds like we’re about to interrupt girls' night. Brace yourself, brother, if these women are as drunk as they sound. It could get a little handsy.”
“If one finger lands on you. Upton’s going to kill you. You have to stop falling for your coworkers, Halstead. You take the term work wife too seriously,” Kevin jokes.
The door swings open, halting Jay from giving a rebuttal. Both men angle their heads down, spotting a redhead who is no more than four foot eleven. Her gaze creeps over the detectives slowly as she mumbles, “Good Lord. Money well spent.”
Jay and Kevin look at each other, confused by her words. They identify themselves, but it goes ignored. Another woman joins the redhead. She appears to be Filipino and just as tiny as her friend. Kevin starts to identify himself, but both women turn toward the rest of the group.
The redhead purrs, “Ladies, get your ones ready. The entertainment is here!”
Both detectives look flabbergasted as they try and correct them. The ladies are seriously inebriated. None of the words leaving the detectives’ mouths are getting through. Red continues, “Ms. Maid of Honor! Do us the honors and get the Bride-to-be ready for her lap dance!”
Her fellow tiny friend squeezes between both men, pulling them inside the house.
“Wait a minute, sweetheart,” Jay tries to reason.
“Hold on there, ma’am. You’re mistaken,” Kevin interjects.
Surrounded by a pack of drunk and lust-filled women, Jay attempts to talk over the boisterous crowd, “Ladies! Let’s keep things calm-.” He’s thrown off as someone grabs his ass. “Come now, ladies. Let’s keep things civilized and respectful.”
Kevin cackles as Jay’s face starts to redden. That is until one of the women starts running her hand up and down the veins of his forearm. The women begin catcalling them, going on about how sexy they are. “If I would’ve known they were sending strippers this fucking sexy. I would’ve paid double. Cuff me, Mr. Officer,” the redhead panted.
Kevin stepped back and politely removed the thirsty woman’s hand from his person. He started to reiterate that they were the actual police. Those words stuck in his throat as he felt dainty arms wrap around his waist. As if that hadn’t thrown him off guard, the unidentified woman began thrusting her hips, humping from the back. Just as he was about to turn around and reprimand the stranger, he heard a familiar voice. To Kevin’s surprise, he turns around to find you, his tipsy girlfriend smiling and slapping his ass. Jay looked at his friend in shock as his face lit up with laughter at your slurred words.
“This ain’t no strippaaa! Back off, you thirsty bald-headed hoes! I’m just joking. Not really. This MY MUTHAFUCKIN’ MAN! My man, my man, my man, my man! We go together. Real bad.”
“Okay, Yung Miami. You need a break from TikTok, baby,” Kevin teased.
Jay, assuming his friend was enduring harassment, attempted to diffuse the situation and calm you down. Kevin releases a deep chuckle, patting Halstead on the back.
“It’s all good, bro. Shortie can touch me however she wants,” he insists, licking his lips and staring at you with hungry eyes. “You lit, ain’t you, mamas?”
Halstead looks on in complete and utter confusion. “She’s beautiful, man, but don’t forget we’re on the clock. Voight would have our asses for indulging in this.”
Atwater smirks at Jay as he shrugs his shoulders. His eyes travel back to your face. Kevin reaches out, placing his hand on your waist. He tugs at you, pulling you into a quick peck.
“Relax, Halstead. Little mama’s telling the truth.”
Jay, looking at him puzzled, waited for Kevin to explain.
“Halstead, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend. We’ve been dating for the last six months. It’s an odd way for you to find out, but yeah. Jay, this my lady.”
Embarrassed, you released a tiny giggle, burying yourself into Kevin’s side. Pulling back, you looked at him in a lust-filled, drunken haze.
“Hiii baby,” you slurred, smiling ear to ear.
Kevin smiled back, biting his lip, “Wassup, beautiful? Listen, we hate to break up a wonderful time, mamas, but it’s pretty noisy. As a courtesy to the neighbors, could you tell the crew to simmer down a little bit,” he said in that tone that always made you shiver.
“Okay, baby,” you smiled, nibbling your lip.
Atwater leaned in closer, whispering in your ear, “Yeah? You can do that for Daddy?”
Releasing a shaky breath, you nodded yes in reply.
“That’s my good girl.”
Jay looked at Atwater with raised eyebrows as you settled the girls down.
“Very impressive. Teach me your ways, bro.”
“No can do, brotha. If it’s in you, it’s in you. Can’t be taught, my man,” Kevin boasted.
You managed to calm the girls down. They all relocated to the kitchen to make a fresh batch of margaritas. Your best friends, who had answered the door, instructed you to find out if Kevin’s partner was single. They trotted off heartbroken after telling them Kevin had mentioned a girlfriend to you before.
You stumbled back to your chuckling boyfriend, who wrapped you in another bear hug. Pulling away, he looked at you like you had been caught red-handed.
“I know you’re the maid of honor, but did I hear the word strippers? Yes, I’m almost certain that’s come up several times since we arrived. You don’t need all that swinging in your face. Come on, my little drunken love. We’re taking you home. Your little ass is about to pass out. How much alcohol have you had?”
“I’ll go,” you stand on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear, “If you take me home and put me to sleep, just the way I like.” You finish, biting his ear playfully.
“That can be arranged…for tomorrow. I want you sober, mamas.”
Kevin laughs at your drunken pout. “You’ll be out like a light before we make it to the house. It’s going to be alright, love. Sleep it off some, and I promise I’ll break you off afterward.”
“Let’s go so I can get you back to your car, bro. You’re not having sex in my truck,” Jay joked, but at the same time, he was serious.
“Halstead, be easy on the jokes now. I’d hate to have to inform Hailey about the many times you got groped tonight.”
Kevin gingerly swept you from Jay’s truck, transferring you to his own. He managed to buckle you into the front seat and nearly made it out of the parking lot unnoticed. His head shot back with an exasperated sigh as the exit to the precinct flew open.
“Nice try, Atwater. We want to meet your gorgeous lady friend Halstead’s exact words. Better watch your girl, Kev,” Burgess taunted.
Hailey followed close behind, hands on her hips and a smirk on her face. “You honestly think Jay was going to keep your secret? Not a chance, Atwater. Before you try to snitch, I already know how he was treated like a sexy piece of meat tonight,” Hailey sassed.
Kevin shushed the women and directed their attention to your sleeping frame. “You two can give her the third degree another time. I’m taking my little party animal home,” he whispered, looking at you with adoring eyes. “I’ll bring her by the precinct to formally introduce her soon. Just not tonight, ladies.”
“Bachelorette parties are the best. I’m looking forward to mine,” Upton sighed.
“Jay should be worried if Burgess is throwing it. I’ll see you two tomorrow. Let me get my sleepy baby to a comfortable bed.”
You had slept the entire ride to and from the precinct. Kevin carried you into his home, taking you straight to the master bathroom. You began to stir as he placed you on top of the vanity.
“How long was I out,” you groaned.
“About an hour,” his lips brushed against your forehead. “Do you think you can handle showering on your own? Or do you want me to help you, love?”
“I want cuddles in the shower. Shit! I don’t have my overnight bag. What about my hair,” you whined.
“You gon’ be good, sweetheart. One second.”
Kevin started opening cabinets and sitting items next to you on the vanity. His face spread into a shy smile when he saw you holding back tears.
“Why the watery eyes, mamas?”
“Two things. First of all, sir. Bless your parents. I’ve never had a man love me this way. Baby, you went and bought all my hair care products.”
The both of you looked lovingly at the pile on the counter. Kevin had purchased every single product you had in your bathroom. Everything you usually brought with you lay there.
“What was the second thing?”
“I’m an emotional drunk.”
“Yeah, I kind of guessed that,” he chuckled. “You can sleep in my clothes. I’d prefer you slept naked, but that’s up to you,” he licked his lips.
“That depends.”
“On?”
“If I’ve sobered up enough for you to slide up in it,” you purred.
“I’d say you’re thinking pretty clearly, love. Let’s get cleaned up. I’m starving, and I got a taste for something sweet.”
“Yeah,” you questioned breathlessly.
Kevin stepped between your thighs, kissing you hungrily. Releasing your lips a few moments later, his hand brushed against the outside of your shorts. “Yeah. It’s nice, soft, juicy, and delicious. You gon’ give me a taste, love?”
“Start the shower before I come all over this counter.”
Hours later, the two of you lay in bed panting and satiated. The room rested in a comfortable silence. Your head rested on Kevin’s chest as his fingertips drew patterns against your naked skin. His lips left a litany of kisses across your temple. He pulled in a breath before speaking.
“Baby girl,” he whispered.
“Hmm?”
“Move in with me. I want to build a life with you. I know it’s only been six months-.”
“Yes.”
“I wanted to ask you another question, though,” he playfully scolded, giving your butt a light tap.
You looked at him and smiled sheepishly.
“Sorry, continue, baby. Either way, the answer is yes.”
“Cool. So we’re getting married then?”
“Ye-wait. What?”
Kevin flipped you both. Lying on top of you, he brushed the hair from your face.
“Marry me, mamas? I know it’s way too soon-.”
You kissed him to shut him up. It lasted long enough to calm his fluttering heart.
“Yes.”
Without another word, he kissed you hard, stealing your breath. Tender touches morphed into desperate touches. In an instant, the room filled with pants and moans as he slipped back into you. Thrust mirroring thrust, as Kevin drove you to the brink of ecstasy until your tired body would no longer allow it. He littered your face with kisses as the both of you whispered words of affirmation until sleep claimed you both.
The aching in your bladder woke you as the morning sun crept into the bedroom. Not wanting to wake your sleeping giant, you wiggled free. Tip-toeing into the bathroom, you quickly relieved yourself and washed your hands. You unboxed one of the toothbrushes Kevin bought, quietly falling into your morning routine. Standing in the mirror brushing your teeth, your free hand brushed curls from your face, and you froze. The toothbrush dangled in your mouth as you stared into the mirror, shock written on your face. Hand frozen mid-air, you gawked at the beautiful diamond sparkling on your ring finger. You startled as a voice sounded behind you. Kevin stood in the doorway, muscles rippling, in all his naked glory, staring at you in the mirror. He walked up behind you, pressing his chest to your back, and whispered against your neck, “I always come prepared, baby girl. Notice it’s the correct size and the cut you like. Do I know my woman or what,” he bragged, finishing with kisses to your throat.
Throwing a finger in the air, you quickly rinsed your mouth and toothbrush. You placed the brush in the holder as you spun around, snatching Kevin’s hand. Pulling him back toward the bedroom, he questioned, “Where are we going, love?”
“Back to bed. I’m going to suck the soul out of you. Then I’m taking my ass to the kitchen and cooking you breakfast in bed.”
Fuck I love this woman.
Hope you enjoyed it, my sweet babies! Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!
tagging:
@darqchilddaydreamz @4everbrookemarie @starrynite7114 @nightlywords7 @amorestevens @sunshine-flower @boomclapxox @astoldbychae
@skyesthebomb @tbugger01 @thatbrowngruul
#berberriescorner#until the cops come knocking#kevin atwater x black!reader#kevin atwater#daddy kevin#kevin atwater x reader#chicago pd#chicago pd imagine#chicago pd fanfiction#black fanfiction#black fanfic writer#black writer#Spotify
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𝗠𝗔𝗬 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟯 𝗙𝗜𝗖 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗦 (𝟮)
.☘︎ ݁˖ = BLACK/POC WORKS | 23' FIC RECS M.LIST
ONE CHICAGO
KEVIN ATWATER
Badge of Honor — @keanureevesisbae
Torments — @proceduralpassion .☘︎ ݁˖
I’ll Be Seeing You — @proceduralpassion .☘︎ ݁˖
Just One Round — @yaachtynoboat711 .☘︎ ݁˖
Coffee Bae — @yaachtynoboat711 .☘︎ ݁˖
Can We Talk — @yaachtynoboat711 .☘︎ ݁˖
S.O.S. — @darqchilddaydreamz .☘︎ ݁˖
I Got You — @darqchilddaydreamz .☘︎ ݁˖
Daddy Kink — @strwbrrykss
Nothin’ I Wouldn’t Do For You — @libraryofloveletters
Won’t You Be Mine?— @ssahotchswifemain
Smoothie — @reelwriter19 .☘︎ ݁˖
Say It — @blackmissfrizzle .☘︎ ݁˖
Doctor’s Visit (Drabble) — @blackmissfrizzle .☘︎ ݁˖
Lucky Ones — @blackmissfrizzle .☘︎ ݁˖
Ready — @blackmissfrizzle .☘︎ ݁˖
CONNOR RHODES
Lunch — @collecting-stories
Model Husband — @deanstead
Money, Money, Money — @poppadom0912
Vows — @deanstead
In The Dark — @bullet-prooflove
JAY HALSTEAD
My Blessings — @halsteadlover
Mine — @onechicagolife
What Are You Doing? — @themultifandomgal
Never Been So Scared — @dlmlufics
Med Students — @poppadom0912
I’m Late — @dlmlufics
Domestic — @lily174
I’ll Look Out For You — @lily174
Birthday Surprise — @dlmlufics
I Promised You Forever — @dlmlufics
The Sister Halstead Materlist — @citygirlcharlotte
Baby Halstead — @dlmlufics
Mrs. Detective Jay Halstead — @dlmlufics
HANK VOIGHT
Keep You Safe — @poisonedjoinery
Filthy Secrets — @poisonedjoinery
Sweet Little Thing — @poisonedjoinery
The Family We Chose — @procrastinatorimagines
Hank x Deaf!Fem!Reader — @keanureevesisbae
Is That My Shirt? — @one-sweet-gubler
Slow And Steady — @smaoineamhsalach
Accidental First Kiss — @libraryofloveletters
TLOU
ABBY ANDERSON
Anything But Me (+ Ellie Williams) ⎢ Part 2 — @seattlesellie
Abby x Ticklish!Reader — @lolasimms
First Kiss — @millerssurora
Sleepy Lovemaking w/ Abby — @lolasimms
Scumbag!Abby — @canaidliafail
Uncharted Territory — @sweetercalypso
Abby Being Sweet w/ Crybaby!Reader — @sweetercalypso
Stressed Out — @ourautumn86
Tea Parties and Mockery — @lolasimms
Espresso and Hand Holding — @lolasimms
Abby and Reader w/ Toddler Twins — @lolasimms
Girl Mom!Abby x Black!Reader ⎢ More HCs — @theendofevangelionnn .☘︎ ݁˖
At Least I Got You In My Head ⎢ 1 ⎢ 2 ⎢ 2.5 ⎢ 3 — @whatwouldsylwrite
Camgirl!Reader x Camgirl!Abby — @deblklesb
Abby Making A Sextape With You— @deblklesb
Soft Ridges — @elsfairy
Discovering The Mommy Kink — @hope-drunk
The Late Shift — @pinknightsinmymind
Tan Lines — @sweetercalypso
Look, Wild Cherries! — @s-4pphics .☘︎ ݁˖
Sexting w/ GF!Abby — @ourautumn86
Jealous Sex w/ Basketball!Abby — @elsweetheart
Morning Routine — @lolasimms
Abby Teasing You — @strawberryjamheart
Stay Grounded ⎢ 4 ⎢ 5 ⎢ 6 — @canaidliafail
Deep End — @angelkissiies
Stubborn — @darlingmisa
It’s Gonna Kill Me — @fleshwaters
Abby Anderson NSFW HCs — @pinknightsinmymind
Size Kink w/ Abby — @seattlesellie
Mom!Abby HCs — @lolasimms
Abby Helps You Squirt — @sweet-lover-girl
Mornings — @pinknightsinmymind
Wife!Abby and Reader ⎢ Part Two — @lolasimms
Modern AU: GF!Abby HCs ⎢ Part 2 — @hyperfixatesnwrites
What? Like It’s Hard? — @angelkissiies
Try Something New — @toasty-melons
Lemon Color, Honey Glow — @girldreaming
Munch! — @ourautumn86
Being Modern!Abby’s Girlfriend — @hope-drunk
Rugby Player!Abby — @abbysgirlx
Cooking For Abby — @darlingmisa
Hockey!Abby — @millersaurora
Serene — @elsfairy
Talk You Through It — @pinknightsinmymind
Text Messages (+ Ellie and Dina) — @onestopfanficshop
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How Many Detectives Are Needed To Sleep A Baby? || Jay Halstead x reader!
Cute and fluffy Jay, wife and baby + babysitter detectives
*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠
Summary: Intelligence unit takes care of Jay's newborn baby while he and his wife are in court. Turns out it is the most difficult case they have worked on.
-"You can't go in there". Platt muttered in a scolding tone to Adam, who wanted to go into the coffee room.
-"Why not?" He asked strangely.
-"Shhhhhh". Kim gave him a punch on his arm. -"Keep it quiet, you're gonna wake her up".
-"Ok, alright". Ruzek kept his voice low. -"What the hell is going on, girls?"
-"Halstead's baby is sleeping in there. Don't you dare to interrupt her sweet dreams, bro". Kevin said from his desk.
-"Look at her. You can see her smile even from here". Hailey said, peeking through the window.
Trudy and Kim followed her.
-"She's so lucky she didn't get her father's mad face". The Sergeant enquired.
-"What do you think she's dreaming about? She looks so peaceful".
-"What's going on? Where's Jay? Where's her mom? What is she doing here all alone?" Adam was losing it, increasing his voice volume once more.
-"She's not alone. We're taking care of her!". Hailey frowned.
-"Adam, please". Voigh silently got out of his office and rushed towards him whispering. -"Would you keep it down? I can hear your voice even with my door closed. Let the baby rest, she's only weeks old and already has seen too much".
The detective opened his arms in a defeated gesture. He had just arrived and didn't understand anything.
-"Y/N is testifying right now, we couldn't avoid it. She and her colleagues published the investigation under their names, so...I couldn't stop it. Jay is by her side. The baby is here for protection".
-"She really is a hell of a journalist". Upton mentioned with admiration.
-"And a very brave woman. We owe her a lot in this case". Hank stated.
-"You know? You would have known about this if you had arrived in time to work". Burgess teases Adam.
-"Is there any news about the trial?" Platt wanted to know, worried about you.
-"Not yet, but Jay said he'll be in touch". The boss stated. -"You know these trials take time".
They weren't conscious about it, but the whole Intelligence squad looked hilarious talking with whispers and walking in tiptoes as they went back to their workplaces.
Time passed and the girl was still sleeping safe and sound, until Adam decided to stand up to stretch a bit and stumbled with some cables on the floor. Naturally, the clatter woke up the little baby.
-"It had to be you, right?" Kim mocked her husband as she helped him stand up.
Hailey and Kevin ran to the coffee room as if they were running a race. It was him who got there first and held the baby girl.
-"There, there. Uncle Kev is right here". He tried to reassure her. -"I had siblings and took care of them when they were babies. I can manage another one".
But after a few minutes, she was still uncontrollable.
-"Ok, it's my turn". Burgess got into the game and took the baby off his partner's arms. -"I'm the only mom here, the only one who has a real daughter. I know how to do it".
-"What are you talking about?" Trudy Platt laughed. -"Makayla was already a grown up when you adopted her!" And she grabbed the baby to accommodate her in her chest. But the crying did not stop.
-"Oh, no. What are they doing to you, sweetie?" Upton grabbed her and laid her in her arms. -"I am her godmother, she knows me better".
The baby Halstead slowed down her crying, but she was still restless.
-"Well, how many detectives do you need to sleep a baby, hum? You don't know anything". Hank Voight gasped. -"Give her to me, I'll show you all". But as soon as she was in the arms of the boss, her crying increased. -"Oh. I've lost touch!"
Jay and Y/N were already at the bullpen, waiting in the stairs. They got in time to witness the fluffy scene.
-"Hey, guys? She's not a rag doll, you know?" Jay said laughing at the scene and his friends turned around with surprise. -"She just needs her daddy's arms''. He took his daughter to stroke her and almost immediately she calmed down.
-"That's not fair". Platt crossed her arms.
-"We brought you coffee". You smiled, leaving the box you were carrying on one of the desks. -"There's not enough caffeine when you take care of a newborn. There's one for each of you, just as each of you like it. Look for your name in the tags".
-"Geez, thanks!" Adam said gladly and balanced the table. -"I was denied entrance to the coffee room the whole morning".
-"I'm sorry". You turned red.
-"Don't listen to him". A chorus of detectives said.
-"She's really calm, it was no problem". Kevin asserted and everyone else agreed.
You approached your husband and as soon as you were in your daughter's sight, the baby started to smile and giggle, throwing little kicks into the air.
-"What? Why are you laughing so much, baby?" You raised your hands and freed Jay's arms. -"Come with mommy, sweetie".
Everyone stared at the scene with tenderness, especially Kim, whose eyes started watering.
-"You wanna hold her?"
She just nodded and took the opportunity.
-"How was the trial? Are you alright?" Platt inquiered.
-"Yeah, I mean it was really scary, but I think it went fine". Y/N hands started to shake a little bit, but she was fast enough to hide them in her pockets. Nobody noticed, except for Jay.
-"She did a great job". He hugged you by the waist, trying to secretly ease you.
-"I have no doubt about it, she already showed us how much of a badass she is". Hank smirked.
-"I will just be more comfortable if you stay in here at least until the Jury deliberates, or as soon as I can go home with you. It's just a precaution, I'm not being paranoid or something".
-"Yes, I agree". Voight followed the idea.
-"Sure. Whatever you think is better".
The baby yawned and stretched herself so adorably, that she caught everyone's attention again.
-"I should put her down to sleep".
-"Alright. Take my seat, Y/N. We don't know how much we're staying here". Jay pointed out.
-"C'me on, Kim. Give the baby back to her mommy".
-"If you need help with the baby or you get bored of these people around, I'll be downstairs". The desk Sergeant winked at you and you smiled back at her back.
-"She won't be bored. She has me here". Hailey pulled a face.
-"I'll take provisions just in case the little one takes the coffee room again". Ruzek rushed to the kitchen.
Everyone else rolled their eyes in a funny way.
#chicago pd#chicago pd imagine#Jay Halstead#Jay Halstead x reader#Jay halstead x Y/N#Jay Halstead imagine#Jay Halstead one shot#Jay Halstead x you#Trudy Platt#Hank Voight#Adam Ruzek#Kim Burgess#kevin atwater#One chicago#One chicago one shot#Jay Halsted x daughter#Jailey Upton
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chicago pd masterlist ❤️🔥
Jay halstead
You picked the wrong girl
2 week long phone call p1 >>> part 2
marry me
i can take it
we all have bad days even weeks
trust me on this
feeling safe
this is all so backwards
anxieties
you are broken on the floor, and you’re crying
let me take of you
you can do this
i’ll look out for you
why can’t he be my dad?
snowy christmas
in trouble
domestic
painful ride
what do i do
not again part 1 >>> part 2 >>> part 3 >>> part 4 >> part 5 >>> part 6
she’s not testifying
Books:
- Street racers in Chicago
💌:Ashley quinn x jay halstead
on wattpad @ pizzaboyrheewp
kevin atwater
partners
someone who loves you wouldn’t do this
antonio dawson
stalker
buried alive
personal issues
dante torres
not the way i love you
secret boyfriend
lost loved ones
you’re safe now
(my masterlist stopped working so i’ve had to remake it, some of my older imagines i couldn’t find that’s why there is some blanks for when i do find them <3)
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Who I Write For
These are all the characters I write for. Please keep this in mind when requesting anything.
All requests will be written in a female POV
Many Thanks
Chicago P.D.
Adam Ruzek
Jay Halstead
Kevin Atwater
Dante Torres
Hailey Upton
Kim Burgess
Greg 'Mouse' Gerwtiz
Hank Voight (Not Romantically)
Chicago Fire
Kelly Severide
Joe Cruz
Matthew Casey
Blake Gallo
Stella Kidd
Randall 'Mouch' McHolland (Not Romantically)
Sam Carver
Brian 'Otis' Zvonecek
Christopher Herrmann (Not Romantically)
Wallace Boden (Not Romantically)
Sylvie Brett
Violet Mikami
Leslie Shay
Chicago Med
Connor Rhodes
William Halstead
911 Lone Star / 911
Evan Buckley
Eddie Diaz
TK Strand
Carlos Reyes
S.W.A.T
Christina 'Chris' Alonso
James 'Jim' Street
Victor Tan
Dominique Luca
Daniel 'Hondo' Harroldson
Decon 'Dec' Kay (Not Romantically)
#chicago pd#chicago fire#kelly severide#kelly severide x reader#reader x kelly severide#firehouse 51#chicago pd imagine#kelly severide x you#chicago fire x reader#chicago pd x reader#will halstead x reader#chris alonso#kim burgess#evan buckley#joe cruz#matt casey#eddie diaz x reader#evan buckley imagine#evan buckley x reader#chicago fire imagine#reader x greg gerwitz#blake gallo#blake gallo x reader#jay halstad#adam ruzek imagine#jay halstead x reader#kevin atwater#dominique luca x reader#leslie shay x reader#lit
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i think you were drunk (you spelled wedding wrong)
Paring: Reader x Carlos Sainz Jr.
Warnings: Hurt/no comfort, Fluff, Childhood love
Word Count: 5,807
Status: Complete
Inspired by: "Why'd you invite me to your wedding?" - Kevin Atwater
____________________
Carlos hadn’t seen the message until the next morning.
A message from a number he thought forgot about him. For a moment, he wondered if it could be true. If it was real.
“Hey! I’m sorry this is so out of the blue, I know it’s been a while. I hope you’re doing good, I watch your races so just know I’m always rooting for you. I miss being at the races with you, it was always so fun. I’m sorry it’s been so long. But I wanted to invite you to my weddign, which will be next month. I’ve sent an invitation to your family, I hope that’s alright. I wanted to invite you myself because I could not imagine that day without you. Let me know if you can make it, I know how busy you are. Love you.”
Then, right under it, is a smaller bubble that reads:
“Text me back if you can. I miss you.”
Carlos thinks he might be sick. He rereads the message, pulling his phone closer to his face. He can’t stop himself from whispering her name. It’s been years. This girl, his girl. His entire life, she’s been there, since he was little. They were fast friends, but, of course, to Carlos, it was more than that.
To him, it was everything.
__________
“Someone has a crush on Carlito!”
Her brothers were running around them, stomping across the grass. She groaned at them, they had moved twice - each time prompted by them coming around to pick at their sister. Carlos liked to giggle at it, he and Blanca weren’t as rambunctious.
Carlos knew that they liked to pick on her, but would always stop the moment she began to cry. She was their baby sister after all.
“Shut up! I do not!”
Her face was a violent red, the blush spreading up to her ears. She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, and puffing her cheeks. Her brothers come to pull at her hair, pinching at her sides. She whines for them to leave her alone and Carlos can only giggle.
He thinks about what they’ve said. A crush? On him? The thought alone makes his face go hot. That kind of thing, with moms and dads and kissing. He hadn’t given it much thought.
Would it be so bad? Carlos didn’t think so. He thought that if he did have to marry anyone, he’d like it to be her. She liked racing and played golf with him.
“Maybe Carlito has a crush on you!”
“Stop!”
Carlos looked down at his lap. Did he? He pulls at the skin of his fingertips, his head full of thoughts. He shakes his head, trying to laugh it away, “No way!” He says.
It’s easier like that.
When he looks over at her, she’s staring straight at him, a smile on her face.
“We’re best friends!” She declares, glaring over at her brothers, “Right?”
“Right!” Friends. If she wanted to be friends, Carlos thought that was perfect. “Best friends.”
Because even friends could marry each other, right?
__________
He spent the morning staring at his phone.
Carlos thought that perhaps it would go away, fade into nothingness, but it was still there, a blue bubble glaring right at him. He had spent hours rereading it, so much so that he was sure he could recite it from memory.
‘I miss you.’
He squeezed his eyes shut. The memories of her were something that he kept away. Secret treasures that he held so close to his heart. Even after all these years, at just the simplest phrase, Carlos could feel his heart begin to pound.
It was only her.
It would only ever be her.
Evidently, he recalls bitterly, he wasn’t it for her. Carlos has to stop himself from throwing the phone. Even in the darkness of his mind, he can see those words. He can hear her voice, reading them aloud. It makes him sick.
He knew that they would meet again - he prayed for it - but never like this. It wasn’t fair. Almost cruel, he thinks, that he would be subject to loving her for the rest of his life. But, how beautiful it is to love her.
He thinks of her smile. The smallest quirk of her lips, something so shy and tiny. It was only full with him, or at least, it was. His mind wanders to who she might be now. There’s a part of him that knows he could find out, the quickest search of her name would tell him everything.
But there’s a reason he hasn’t, he was afraid of seeing her happy without him.
He couldn’t.
Carlos sighed.
His chest was heavy with emotion. There was a sea of them - anger, sadness, happiness, longing. He might just explode. Fall apart on his couch and just a mess of a man.
They were so young then. Just kids. Carlos thinks of the irony, they used to sit and laugh at the thought of people getting married so young. Thinking that you could devote yourself to someone you hardly knew, he remembers how they thought it was so stupid.
It isn’t as funny anymore.
__________
When Carlos got the call from Red Bull he cried.
His father had been pacing the room with him, talking about his chances and pondering on the season. But as soon as that phone rang, he was right at Carlos’ side, already pulling him into a hug as soon as he confirmed a date for contract negotiations.
It was his time.
His start was here and now.
When he managed to calm himself down, he called her.
She picked up and screeched in his ear when he broke the news.
“OH MY GOD! CARLOS! YOU DID IT!”
He started to cry all over again, “...I know…”
“I’m coming over,” She said hurriedly, he could hear her bustling around the room.
“Wait! You don’t have to -” She’d already hung up on him.
He was waiting outside for her, fidgeting with the dirt around the steps of his house. The excitement was buzzing in his veins, he could still hardly believe it. She rode up only a few moments later, dropped her bike onto the lawn, and ran up to him. He caught her in a hug.
Carlos couldn’t help the few tears that escaped him. His dream was finally happening. He would finally get the chance to be known as more than just the son of Carlos Sainz, he was going to make a name for himself.
He couldn’t wait.
When she pulled away, she was quick to seize his shoulders, “You did it!”
He could only smile, there was so much joy, he was bursting with it.
“I’m so proud of you, Carlos,” She said, smiling up at him.
He felt his face go red. She would never understand how much those words would mean. Everyone could hate him, everyone could be against him, but so long as she wasn’t, he could do anything. Since the very beginning, she had always been his biggest supporter. Every race she could go to, she was at. It got harder as he climbed the ranks, races were farther and farther. But it always seemed like she just knew.
When he would come back she would insist on a very detailed account, getting angry with him when he left anything out. She claimed it made her feel like she was there. Carlos always just rolled his eyes, but he could never deny how much he loved it. To know that she wanted him to do well.
It made every victory sweeter and every loss harder.
Above all, he hated losing in front of her. To know that she was watching, to know that she could see him fail. He hated it. But she always said that even champions have bad seasons, it wasn’t untrue, but Carlos hated it nonetheless.
They had moved to the steps of his house. Sitting beside one another, their knees touching, she bumped him with her shoulder.
“So, you’re going to remember me when you’re rich and famous?”
He rolled his eyes, “I don’t know. I’ll probably be super busy being too cool.”
“You are not cool.”
“Whatever,” He shrugged, “Don’t come crying to me when I’m champion.”
“As if,” She shoved him, he caught himself on the step and turned to her.
He began to laugh before hooking his arm around her neck, “Of course, I’ll remember you.”
‘I love you.’
“You’re my best friend.”
She looks up at him. Carlos thinks that there’s something that passes across her face, but then, it’s gone. She smiles a true smile. Wide and beautiful.
“Good.”
_________
His mother calls him on the way to a meeting.
As much as he wishes he could just let the phone ring, he knows he can’t.
As soon as he answers, she’s gushing in his ear, “Carlito, I can’t believe she’s getting married! How wonderful! She will be the most beautiful bride! The invitation is just gorgeous.”
He lets her speak, leaning back in his seat. It hurts to know that his mother is so excited. He always thought that she wanted him to marry her, that’s what she always said when he was a kid. Maybe everyone let it go but him.
“Did you know about this?”
“No, Mama,” He lies. It’s awful, lying to her. He can’t try to explain his feelings now, there’s still a part of him that wishes they’d go away. Hoping to drown himself in whatever work Ferrari will give him. The pain burns and he just wants to breathe again.
“We should send her something,” She adds, he can hear her moving around the house. He wonders if she has the invitation in his hand.
He hums, trying to keep the anger from his voice. This wasn’t her problem and he wasn’t going to make it hers. She doesn’t need to know - even if she did, what would she do?
His mother seems to think for a moment, humming a mindless tune before saying, “You should send her something!”
Carlos nearly chokes.
“What?”
“Yes!” Her voice is so bright, “You two were so close, why not send her something? A ‘congratulations’ of sorts. Yes, that would be nice.”
“Mama…” He begins, unsure of how to tell her, “I - I don’t know -”
“Carlos,” She warns.
With a sigh, he just hums again, “I’ll look into it.”
“Good,” He can hear the excitement ramp up in her voice again, “Isn’t this just so beautiful?”
Carlos can’t respond.
It isn’t. It makes him sick. The very thought of it makes him want to cry and scream. Anger burns within him, stomach twisting. He hates this. He hates it because he loves her. He loves her more than anything.
“It is.”
__________
It was quiet, the summer sun dancing on their skin. A breeze pulling through the air, tall grass blades dancing. The smell of the garden roses drifting around them.
Carlos’ heart was pounding, thudding against his ribs, nearly jumping into his throat. He tried to swallow the anxiety that nearly lept from him, but the nerves in his stomach made it impossible. He felt like he was choking. Just sitting beside her, so close, but so far.
He could feel the heat of her hand, he yearned to touch her, to intertwine their fingers. It wouldn’t be wrong, they held hands a lot back then, but he wasn’t sure he could do it, afraid his heart would’ve exploded.
“What is it?” She looked over at him, her eyes trying to pry the information out of him.
He tore his face away, fists clenching at his side. He was always so afraid to tell her. Just a boy terribly in love with a girl, but he could never bring himself to say it. When he tried the words would abandon him and he would just end up brushing it off.
But there, in the silence of the garden, he knew there was no hiding it. Not when she was boring a hole into the side of his head. She stared right through him. He took his lip between his teeth, horrified at the thought of it all slipping out.
She would hate him. If he ever dared to say something like that she would kill him, he was so sure. It’s funny to look at it now, but he just focused on the blades of grass beside him. The green was bright and strong, small weeds blooming within the folds of dirt. He reached over to pluck at a dancing flower, but his hand was caught.
She grabbed him, fingers around his wrist. Her hold was hardly there, he could break free from it if he wanted. But he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay there with her.
He was sure that she could feel his racing heart, but she said nothing. Just bringing her hand up to rest in his palm. His stomach flipped, and he shut his eyes.
This wasn’t like him. Carlos had never been a coward, but for her - and only her - he was reduced to nothing. He loved her, his feelings brimming inside him.
Any more and he was sure that he would come apart at the seams.
“Carlos,” Her voice whispered.
He cracked his eyes open, and she was there, leaning over to peer down at him. Her hair fell from her shoulders, so close that he could smell her shampoo. It was the same one she’d used since they were 6 - one her mother made. The scent was her and her alone.
Carlos swallowed.
She lowered herself closer. Carlos was sure his heart was so loud that she could hear it, surely she could. She smiled down at him, cocking her head to the side.
“What are you thinking?”
He just shook his head, afraid to trust his voice.
“Then?”
“‘Then’ what?”
“Why won’t you look at me?” A pout made its way on her face, jutting her lower lip out dramatically.
He chuckled, trying to rein in his heart. But it was so difficult, her beautiful eyes looking down at him, the lines of her lips and nose and cheeks. He had memorized it all. He would know her no matter what, from the way she laughed, to the way she spoke, to the way she just breathed.
Carlos loved her so much it hurt.
‘I can’t,’ He didn’t say, ‘I love you too much.’
She didn’t say anything. Just smiling down at him. Carlos thought that just for a moment if even for a moment, something shifted in her eyes. A foreign look floats in them, dancing in the color and making them shine.
It was odd.
He wanted to know what that was, the smallest change. Silence pulled over them.
The sun shined through the parts in her hair, falling onto his skin, a gentle stroke of warmth. The breeze carried the scent of the roses, and the grass below them swayed. Around them, the world seemed to slow. It was like the only person he could see was her.
The only person that she could see was him.
Lost somewhere in time, just two hearts dancing away in the summer. Nothing else would matter, just them, just at this moment.
Carlos lost himself.
He leaned up, closing the space between them, and kissed her.
The softest thing, a barely there press of their lips.
He hadn’t even realized he’d done it, pulling himself away as soon as he did.
Neither of them said a thing. Just staring at the other with wide eyes. A pink blush dusted her cheeks, and that look in her eyes changed again. She drew in a sharp breath, and Carlos was sure he’d ruined everything.
It was destroyed because of him.
But he couldn’t even mutter out an apology. There was nothing to say, nothing to do. She moved away, rolling back to sit on the grass. Carlos felt like crying, bringing a forearm to cover his face.
What an idiot.
He felt the regret sit against his chest, so heavy he could hardly breathe. Why did he have to lose control of himself? They were supposed to be friends, but all he was doing was making it complicated. He was in love with her, she loved him - it was supposed to be enough.
Carlos let out a deep sigh. He could hear the grass shifting beside him, he spared a look over and she was still there. She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, tucking her chin on them, arms wrapped around her legs.
When he opened his mouth to speak, she beat him to it, “I - I guess…I mean, I guess it would be lame if you went to Red Bull without having your first kiss, huh?
He shot up, “That’s - that’s not what this was! I - I’m sorry!”
She turned to face him, her face still bright red, but with a shy smile, “It’s ok.”
He hadn’t realized that he reached for her hand, and she squeezed, “I didn’t mind. If I’m going to have my first kiss, at least it’s you.”
Carlos could only stare at her, mouth hanging open.
This wasn’t what he thought.
“Are you sure?”
She leaned against her knees, “Yeah. Isn’t that what friends are for?”
The word struck him deeper than it had any right to. But he couldn’t help the relief that flooded through him, “Yeah…yeah…of course.”
“It would be lame if I was the only F4 driver without a kiss.”
“Super lame.”
“Hey!”
She burst into laughter. Her laugh filled the garden and he was soon to join, throwing his head back. This was easy. Being like this with her was easy.
“That means you would’ve been lame too.”
“Not as lame as you.”
“I’m super cool.”
“No, Carlos, you’re not.”
They never spoke of it again.
__________
Carlos nearly has a heart attack when his phone buzzes in his pocket. But, upon further inspection, it’s only Blanca.
‘I talked to Mom,’ Her text says, ‘She told me what happened.’
He just stares at it. Pocketing his phone, he’ll answer it later. Too many texts have been sent to him today. Carlos contemplates running over his phone. Maybe that’ll shut everyone up.
His pocket buzzes again. And again. And again.
With a groan he pulls it back out, scrolling through the messages.
‘Answer me.’
‘CARLOS.’
‘Ok,’ Is all he sends back, ready to tuck it away once more, but there’s another text that pops up.
‘Are you ok?’
For a moment, Carlos thinks about telling her. Though he never said a word about his feelings Blanca had this way of knowing. She called it a ‘sister thing’. Carlos just thought she was nosey.
‘Yes,’ he sends, following it with, ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’
The text bubbles appear and disappear, it’s not very fair. He knows. But there’s too much happening and he can’t - he just can’t. Tomorrow he will apologize, but today, he just needs a break.
In one of her ‘sister thing’ moments, she only ends up sending.
‘OK, I’m here if you need anything. I love you.’
Carlos can feel the lump in his throat and struggles to swallow it.
‘I love you too.’
__________
She called him sobbing.
It was nearly midnight, Carlos had just gotten back from a race. He’d fallen onto his bed, sighing into the night air, when the rang. He thought about letting it go, the rings growing louder in the silence of his room.
Against himself, he reached over and answered.
As soon as he did, he could hear her heaving breaths, the sound of her hiccuping cries. He shot up and pulled the phone closer.
“What happened? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
There was no answer, just another broken sob. The slick sound of her sniffling, wet breath.
“Please,” He whispered, already standing, “Please tell me what’s wrong. Carino, please.”
“W-Will you come o-over?” She managed.
He did. Shoved his feet into his shoes, pulled a shirt over his head, and stormed right out the door. It never crossed his mind to take a car - he just ran. Pushing his way through the gate and rounding the corner into the street. He could hardly see a thing, the moon clouded and fuzzy.
But he ran to her.
He was there faster than ever, crawling over the small fence to get to her backyard. The garden stood tall, and the roses nicked his ankle. But all he could think about was the light coming from the upstairs bedroom, a shadowy figure pacing across the curtains.
He had half a mind to scream for her, but she peered through the curtains and he could see the relief spread across her face. The sight of her made his stomach drop, he nearly tripped over himself to climb the ledge. It was a path he’d taken countless times, jumping to grip the railing and hoisting himself up. As a kid, he used to need her help, but they weren’t kids anymore.
And Carlos is sure he would’ve found a way. Nothing could’ve stopped him from reaching her.
Dropping himself onto the wooden floor, he breathed her name, but she was already pushing herself into his arms. He felt her trembling against him, wet facing pressed into his shirt. He couldn’t have cared less. Wrapping his arms around her, he brought her closer. Claros dropped his head to whisper into her ear.
“I’m here…shh…I’m right here.”
Where her arms were locked around him, she fisted at his shirt, the fabric bunched between her fingers. Her grip was so tight he worried it might rip, but how could he ever worry about that? She pulled away from him, just enough to look him in the eye. Her face was blotchy, cheeks wet with tears, eyes red-rimmed.
But Carlos still thought she was beautiful.
The heartbreak on her face made something crack within him.
“W- What’s wrong? Please, tell-”
“My dad,” She gasped, sucking in a large fit of air, “It - it’s my dad…he’s dying, Carlos…”
The world seemed to go still. Her words hadn’t seemed real, and Carlos half expected her brothers to jump from the dark hallway and laugh. It wasn’t possible. Things like this weren’t supposed to happen to them. Things like this - losing people, losing friends, and family - happened to everyone else.
But not them.
It seemed that the world had finally come caving in on their little bubble. It was shattering around him and all Carlos wanted to do was stop it. Carlos felt so cold, that he hadn’t even realized that he began to cry too. Silent tears rolled down his face before he could stop them.
The pain was unbearable.
But they held each other. There, on her porch, they stood crying. Falling apart and having the other to lean on. Carlos clung to her, afraid that the world would try to take her too. That it would get greedy.
‘I’m sorry,’ He wanted to say, but he couldn’t. The words lost to him, stuck in his throat.
He prayed that she would know. That she would know his feelings, the way he needed her. The way he loved her.
“Stay,” She whispered to him, her words almost swallowed by her cries, “Please.”
‘I need you.’ Went unsaid, but Carlos heard it anyway.
“Always.”
‘I love you.’
__________
“Everything alright, mate?” Charles’ voice pulled him back to himself
Carlos shakes his head, blinking a few times, eyes stinging, “Yeah..fine. Sorry.”
He looks up, Silvia glaring down at him. The P.R. briefing was never anything he truly listened to, but perhaps his disinterest had gotten far too obvious.
“As I was saying,” She rolled her eyes, flipping the papers in her hand.
Her words fell past him again, something about interviews and language. He could feel Charles’ eyes still on him. He was far too kind for his own good, sometimes that meant trying to understand things that he had no business knowing.
The meeting rolled on, and when they were dismissed, Carlos tried to slip away, but he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
“Hey!” Charles hooked his arm around Carlos, “Everything alright?”
“Of course,” He tried to sell it with a smile.
Charles didn’t believe him, green eyes boring into his own. When Carlos looked away, Charles was quick to bid those around them goodbye and steer them to an empty conference room.
Damn, empath.
“What is it?” Charles said, shutting the door behind him.
Secrets had never been Carlos’ strong suit. He threw himself onto a chair, bringing his hands up to his face. He hadn’t spoken to anyone about the message and was unsure how to start. He was lost in the sea of his emotions, torn between his sadness and anger.
He felt like an idiot.
“Carlos?”
Charles sits across from him, concern written across his face. Carlos takes a deep breath, he steadies himself on his knees, resting his elbows on his legs.
“There was this girl - we were friends when we were little,” Charles nods along, letting Carlos speak, “And earlier today, she texted me to tell me that she was getting married.”
“OK?”
Carlos looks over at Charles. He’s unsure of the face that he makes, but it seems to be enough for him to understand. His face falls and he puts his hands over his heart.
“Mate, I - I’m so sorry.”
Carlos waves him away. This isn’t his fault, and yet, it’s just like Charles to act as if it is, “I will be fine.”
Charles is silent for a while, looking down at his hands. He’s fiddling with the rings on his fingers, eyes darting around the room. Carlos has known him for far too long, he could practically see the cogs turning.
“What?”
Charles doesn’t answer right away, but when he does, there’s a look in his eye, “Do you still love her?”
Carlos takes a deep breath. There is only one answer, there has only ever been one answer.
“Yes.”
__________
Her father died 4 months later.
And she was gone two months later.
Her mother couldn't take the pain of being alone in the house her husband built, so she left. All things packed, the house empty, they were gone.
Carlos couldn’t even say bye. His negotiations with Red Bull ran longer than they were supposed to, when he threatened to walk out his father nearly smacked him.
“This is the opportunity of a lifetime!”
“She’s my best friend - I love her!”
“There will be other girls, she is not the only -”
“Yes,” He nearly screeched, “She is! She is the only one!”
His father just stared at him, sharp eyes squinting. He would never understand and Carlos didn’t have the strength to make him. He called her instead.
She picked up on the second ring. Neither one of them said a thing, but Carlos could feel her disappointment. It was his own.
Eventually, he can bring himself to utter her name, trying to find the apology, but she beats him to it.
“I’m going to miss you,” She says.
Carlos nearly cries. They’ve been apart, his racing often keeping them away from one another for months on end, but she has always been at him, waiting for him.
“I wish you could stay.”
He was being selfish - he knows - but the fear of her leaving, going far away. Carlos thought he was dying. His chest was tight, breathing shallow. His mind was racing, trying to think of something to make her stay - anything.
“I do too,” He could hear the faintest hint of a smile in her voice, “But I can’t.”
“I could…” He began.
But there was nothing. There was nothing that he could’ve done. The decision was one that was far beyond both of them. Spain held so much sadness for her, and it would be wrong for Carlos to ever want to have kept her there. It wouldn’t have been right.
Silence ballooned between them once more. They were just there, breathing with one another. There was so much Carlos wanted to say, so much he needed to say. His love felt like it was bursting from his chest, trying to force its way out. Carlos choked it back.
This wasn’t the time. It wasn’t the right moment to -
“I love you, Carlos.”
The words hit him and he nearly collapsed. He could imagine her face, hand curled tight around her phone, beautiful face red. His heart was pounding, blood rushing.
All these years, all this time. He loved her in silence, but to know that she loved him. It made him feel like he was floating.
“I -”
“Carlos!”
His father was standing right before him, eyebrows drawn tight together, “They are waiting!”
“I’m going, I just have to-”
“You should go, Carlos,” He heard, her voice thin. She was crying, he knew she was, “They’re waiting for you.”
“NO!” He demanded. This wasn’t how he’d say goodbye, he wanted to tell her.
“Please, I just need to say something.”
Again, his father just stared at him. But there was something different, his eyes were softer. Carlos thought if even for a moment, he saw understanding. With a click of his tongue, his father turned away, “Five minutes.”
He breathed a sigh of relief.
He took a deep breath, “I - I need you to know-”
“I already do know,” There was a slight laugh to her words, just the smallest thing. Before Carlos could say anything else, she kept going, “Go show them who you are, Carlos.”
“But I need to tell you that I -”
“I love you too,” Was all he heard before the dial tone.
She was gone. Just like that.
__________
Though Charles offers to take him out to treat his sorrows, Carlos declines. He watches as Charles’ smile falters, but he still pats Carlos on the shoulder.
“Of course,” He says, turning to fish his keys from his pocket, “But if you change your mind, let me know. Okay?”
Carlos nods. He waves Charles away. When he’s alone in his hotel room, he collapses onto his bed. He slips his phone from his pocket. It opens and he’s face-to-face with her message.
Carlos wanted to be angry.
After years, this was the first thing she said.
He could say something, call her. It wouldn’t be right, he can’t be the reason that she breaks someone’s heart. He can't be the reason that someone else has to live without her. What a terrible existence that is.
It just makes no sense, to think that after all these years, she invites him to her wedding. Carlos always thought that once they made their way back to each other, they would marry. In all his dreams, she was his wife. To love her forever would make the distance worth it.
She told him that day. She said that she loved him, Carlos couldn’t help but think that maybe she was just being nice, just telling him what he wanted to hear on the most important day of his life. Thinking that maybe he had taken it wrong.
“Love you.”
But she would never love him the way he loved her. Completely. From the first day he met her, bumping heads in class, to the day he lost her. He has always loved her. He can see her still, smiling and bright - like the stars. He can feel the summer breeze, the smell of their childhood. He can see the rosebuds right before they bloom, waiting with her as the rain comes and they get sick. He remembers going to all her Flamenco performances - acting like he really cared about dances and not just seeing her face light up when she saw him.
There is no part of his life that he can look back on and not see her. She is everywhere. And Carlos knows that she always will be.
‘Text me back if you can.’
He couldn't bring himself to say no but knew he’d die if he had to see her marry someone else. It would break her heart, he’s sure of it. He can almost picture the disappointment on her face. Carlos wishes he could be stronger, to just put on a brave front, but he can’t. He’s only human.
He’s just a man hopelessly in love with a woman he can’t have.
What a pitiful thing to be.
Carlos looks down at his phone.
The words are searing. If he saw her, what would he even say? Would he be able to hold himself back? Keep himself from spilling his feelings?
The answer is simple.
He won’t.
There is something small inside of Carlos’ mind that feels giddy, she still thinks of him. He was still important to her, she wanted him. She cared about him. She missed him. Maybe she still loved him. Maybe he could -
He shakes the thoughts from his head. No. That was a lifetime ago, those feelings were alive when they were 16. Not now.
There’s only one question he thinks back to.
Why?
After all these years of silence, why now? Why this?
They were kids back then, but Carlos likes to think that even what they felt then wasn’t nothing. That’s the very problem. Nothing was the same. They weren’t the same, the world around them wasn’t the same - even if Carlos so desperately wished it was.
The screen begins to fade, but he taps it. It lights up once more, illuminating in the darkness of the hotel room.
She’s getting married and she wants him to come.
She’s happy and in love. She’s moved on. Carlos thinks of her smile again. A crushing sense of finality passes over him. He hopes that whoever it is makes her smile, and makes her laugh. He hopes that they hold her when she cries, and catch her when she falls.
He hopes that one day he’ll be able to look back on her without so much pain.
Why?
That question refuses to die, still floating around in his mind even as he tries to shake it away.
He’ll never know why, but maybe it’s better that way. To keep her as who she is in his memory, to keep them as they were. Young and beautiful. That’s all.
Her message will sit unanswered. He can’t. He won’t.
Carlos whispers an apology, he hopes that it might reach her. That she’ll catch the drift of his words in the wind, maybe even forgive him. He lets himself think of her, wondering what she’ll wear, what her hair will look like.
Beautiful.
He’s sure.
He just won’t be there to see it.
____________________
A/N:This work has been cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. All are under the name XDACTED. Thank you for reading and feel free to request fics about any of the drivers <3
Check out the song, it's not available yet, but it's up on TikTok
#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#female reader#formula 1#one shot#x reader#charles leclerc#ferrari#carlos sainz#ferrri and i actually have beef and that's why i've spelled thier name wrong#i hate them but love charles and carlos#carlos sainz jr#light angst#fluff#kid fic#no comfort#this hurt to write but i did it anyway#love you bye
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