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neverbesokind · 1 year

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family martyr

#web weaving #taylor swift #harry styles #lucy dacus #the beach boys #the national #mitski #shh gilly #just venting don't mind me

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nostalgicfun · 1 year

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Do you guys ever get what I call "sneaky anger spirals" where something small (usually small, but not always) happens that upsets you, but it sets off a domino effect that you can trace WAY back through years and years of repressed rage. Like, the dog just jumped on me and ripped my brand new tights, and now I'm angry crying. But it's not about the tights and it's not the dog I'm mad at; it's about not being able to have nice things, and about never having a dog that's really mine, and about years of being in situations that are out of my control.

And there's no way to articulate that to people who don't get it, so I just have to say "I'm upset my tights ripped."

#i feel like you guys understand this feeling #just venting don't mind me #I'll be okay (in a few years probably)

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themetalheadhippy · 1 year

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If you see me liking Nanami, Satoru, Suguru, Toji, Jotaro (Part 4 or 6), Polnareff, Dazai, Kunikida, Vash or Wolfwood fanfiction mind your business 😅😘🙈👀

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221bluescarf · 8 months

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Anxiety sounds so simple, especially to people who don't have a disorder. But it's not just a simple feeling. It's expansive and overwhelming and touches every part of life and is completely out of [my] control. I guess that's the difference between having anxiety and having an anxiety disorder huh...

being depressed gives me anxiety

psychosis gives me anxiety

mania gives me anxiety

driving, going to the store, visiting friends, phonecalls... gives me anxiety

anxiety gives me anxiety

...

Sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse. Some days I can drive myself across town and spend the afternoon with a friend. Other days I can't leave the house at all unless someone comes with me.

sometimes I can push through it

sometimes I can have my panic attack and then move forward despite it

but often it's an obstacle I can't overcome

sometimes I'm completely paralyzed...

Life is great :)

#221bluescarf.txt #anxiety #just venting don't mind me

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homosociallyyours · 2 years

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Like i just want someone to take me to an air conditioned chain restaurant so i can eat a trash meal in the cold air BUT IT'S NOT ACTUALLY SAFE TO DO THAT

#I'm!!!! miserable!!!!!!!!!!#just venting don't mind me

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spoopy-sloth · 2 years

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.

#just venting don't mind me #insurance is holding my anxiety meds hostage and i can't help but to wonder if they are just sick and tired of paying most of my #hospital bills and gallbladder things and T #we all need better access to health care :(#delete later #my text

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ladyshandioftheendless · 7 months

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\m/

#so my sister's going away for work this weekend #honestly I don't really care #wouldn't be aby different from her being here #I'm kinda just used to it at this point #just venting don't mind me #I can't wait to get the fuck out of here next weekend #she won't be back until next month btw

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dollopheadsandclotpoles · 15 days

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Even after all this time and awareness, it feels like asexuality is still not treated like a proper sexuality. Recently had a girl tell me that she was at a place where she ‘felt so asexual’ because all the other girls were so beautiful and guys were ignoring her because of it. She didn’t know I was asexual and I didn’t take offence (I know she didn't meant it in a malicious way) but it does feel uncomfortable that people are using ‘asexual’ in lieu of ‘unattractive' or 'lacking sexual appeal.' It's really giving 90's/early 2000's slang of using 'gay' to mean 'lame.' Even shows like Brooklyn 99 which took immense pride in being progressive with their comedy, had an episode where one of the characters says "Oh, and I'm sorry if we implied you're both asexual nerds who can only be friends with service animals."

I have mentioned this before also, when I talked about how I feel like people are more comfortable erasing the identities of canonical aro/ace characters in media but act like it's unacceptable with other sexualities... but it does feel like asexuality (and aromanticism tbh) are still not considered 'real' sexualities. In the case of shipping fictional characters, I understand there is nuance to that issue and so don't want to get into it, but it does kinda add to my point.

Why is it that people treat asexuality like it's not a sexuality? Why is it that when I come out to people I'm met with insistence that I'm wrong about my sexuality, that I'm 'self diagnosing' (it's not a medical condition), that I'm probably 'just inexperienced' or haven't 'met the right person' or have a hormone issue? Why can't people just accept that it's a sexuality like any other??

#asexual #ace stuff #aroace tag #asexuality #ace #don't mind me just needed to vent #just tagging asexuality because it was that 'felt so asexual' comment that made me feel this #but I think it does extend to aromanticism as well #but who knows at least for me I can no longer tell where the ace ends and the aro begins

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melxncholymermxid · 2 years

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It's never enough!

I can bend over backwards but if I'm not consistent what tf is it all for?

I can't be an on call therapist when I wanna fucking kill myself every night.

I can't be a personal ambulette every fucking time you need me to.

Am I not a daughter unless I carry your traumas?

Am I not a friend if I'm not also a servant?

Of course I have no self esteem; I have no sense of self.

I am not a person, I am an asset.

#poetry? sure #cry for help? absolutely #im so tired #just venting don't mind me #and dont worry im not gonna kms #i truly cant afford to do that anymore #like im probably the most depressed ive ever been and in another circumstance this would probably be the end for me #but ive gotta be reliable #not even for the two mentioned in my post but for the kids involved

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bbnibini · 8 months

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I find it so painfully heartbreaking that Solomon just...laughs off all the derision, the name-calling, and possibly even did "evil" things on purpose because it's expected of him at this point. (He had not always been like this as Thirteen pointed out before). There was a time when he was "innocent". When his soul sparkled. When it resembled the kind of soul everyone in these god forsaken (pun intended with spite) three realms seemed to associate with the ever loved MC. He's just...worryingly carefree. And because he's like that, he feels even more of a tragic character to me.

Sometimes it even seems that he himself would seemingly make up excuses on why he's hated. Oh, it's because I'm a sorcerer this. I might have won a war against Devildom single-handedly this. I have forgotten. But maybe, I did something bad, that. Hon, you were doing that to SURVIVE. You don't have to be a faultless person to deserve compassion. You don't have to be MC to deserve to be loved.

#rant #the more i play and read about nb solomon the more it feels like he's a worst case scenario foil to MC #and it's ridiculous maybe to feel this way but seeing how everyone dotes on mc and just panders to them without question no matter #especially with meaner dialogues #make me dislike the mc to some extent #what good will raising up one character do in exchange of dehumanising another?#i couldn't put a finger on this feeling before #but i think that's also why im so burnt out with this game #the more everyone loves me as the mc the more it becomes so apparent how unfairly solomon was treated #and how everyone ESPECIALLY HIM just rolls with it #sweetie please be angry. please complain. please hate me in some way #but no he just keeps loving and supporting the mc #in game in fandom this man can't catch a break #wanna gatekeep him fr /s #this has just been brewing in my mind for a while. i don't really wanna hear discourse or arguments that's why i put it in the tags #I just need a place to vent my frustrations with this game #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me solomon #spoiler mention #he's imperfect and flawed as all humans are and he deserves to be loved irregardless

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octarinecat · 4 months

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You know what irritates me? When I type "raphael" into the search engine and only ninja turtles come up 😾

#don't mind me just venting #but I giggled when I imagine this picture #there is only one Raphael #Raphael #baldurs gate 3 raphael #bg3 Raphael #octarinecat

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dead-core · 4 months

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craving validation from exactly the wrong person. slay

#bpd #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd feels #bpd vent #bpd mood #girl you can't just do this every time you want to talk to someone and they don't read your mind and text you #how to explain to people that i am not just insane in love relationships i'm insane about everyone i know and they are not an exception #baby i have wild and insane platonic abandonment issues too (friends with that guy again but we will absolutely never be as close as before)#codependent best friendship where other person gets pissy and decides not to be my friend all the time #losing my best friend over and over #sometiems bc i was being a bitch but sometimes bc i shared too much about my mental health or said the wrong thing #never knowing what the emotional support threshold is or what the new wrong thing could be #and i was insane and way too attached like codependence has such a nasty side when it's not mutual anymore #and i'm WORKING ON SHIT and taking my favorite people off their pedestals and blah blah blah #anyway guess that still has me fucked up

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2hoothoots · 11 months

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i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:

Restore Ford Cruller's memory

Find Maligula

???

Profit

but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.

[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]

like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.

...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:

[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]

and that's kind of interesting, right?

to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:

"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"

my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.

so what is going on here?

in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:

"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."

other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.

the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.

[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]

i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!

we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.

like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.

i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me #the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun)#so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this #and also it's my blog and i like to talk :)#related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change #it deletes like half the post you just typed out #(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother)#what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump #but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags #there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs #i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time #but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids #omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez #i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them #and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate #oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point #i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share #i'm super excited about it :)#i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main #idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process #and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources #so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see #our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored #alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well

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ineffablefool · 18 days

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gahhhh the last few weeks I have been starving for fics or art where Aziraphale is clearly, legitimately fat (with adoring attention paid to his physical features which are associated with said fatness) and also clearly, legitimately loved ("desired" would be okay but oh give me cherished, give me treasured and held dear and, again, adored)

and I know that this is one of those things where I should just be the change I want to see in the world, but the last few weeks I have also been [flops face-first onto bed and doesn't move for 45 minutes], so clearly that is not happening

#ineffablefool original post #i am just a lonely lil dude who is fat and who has not had that sort of love since 2006 #and has to live vicariously through fictional characters who definitely did not sign up to be my emotional support blorbos #don't mind me #(covid needs to be over already so I can go back to having an incredibly small chance of being smooched someday rather than absolutely zero)#not good omens #i guess? related but not quite there #vent post #i also guess #with the tags and all #anyway this is where my brain has been for a while in case anyone was wondering

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kiirous · 3 months

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I just now figured out why I prefer not to read from the viewpoint of my favorite character, but rather from the viewpoint of the ship partner I read about. It's simple, really. I just want my favorite characters to be worshiped the way they deserve, and the best way to do that is by reading the viewpoint of their shipping partner. I do prefer to read my favorite character's viewpoint, though, when I'm in the mood to read about them suffering. Or it's none shippy.

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statusquoergo · 28 days

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why do people post anti-ship things in the ship tag? why would you do that? why are you coming into my house to criticize the furniture? "so my post reaches more people!" no but for real like. get the fuck out of here.

seriously, what do you think you're accomplishing? a poll about darvey is not going to reach the right audience in the marvey tag. not to say there aren't people who ship both, but the venn diagram has a very small area of intersection compared to the sizes of the respective fandoms and you are much more likely to annoy and/or piss people off. and, i dunno, i have this sneaking suspicion that even people who are fans of both don't go into the tag for one of them when they want content for the other.

also, thinking that marvey fans are on drugs because mike and harvey "were like brothers" is...fine, i guess? as an opinion? i mean it's a little rude, seems kind of unnecessarily aggressive, but if that's the level of passion you have for your perspective, well, congratulations on your life choices. kindly get the fuck off my lawn.

...i've not been having a great week.

#marvey #that fandom life #don't mind me i'm just venting

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