#just thinking about makes me soooooo 🥰 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lorarri · 17 days

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★ . . . 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐏 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 , 𝐋𝐍𝟒

summary , when making a guest appearance on your youtube series chicken shop date you were surprised by how much you actually enjoyed his company and the rest was history

pairing , lando norris x fem! youtuber! reader

main masterlist | f1 masterlist | lando norris masterlist

yourinstagram now playing: friday - riton, nightcrawlers, mufasa & hypeman

liked by landonorris charles_leclerc 89,279,365 others

yourinstagram landonorris has my heart racing 🏎️ chickenshopdate out Friday !

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user Lando is literally perfect for this you don't understand

user brb need a pit stop you two are too good together ❤️‍🔥

user ICONIC collab 😮‍💨🙌🏽

user cold

charles_leclerc me next??? ⤷ landonorris no she mine ⤷ yourinstagram ummmmm since when sirrrr

user STOP STOP STOP IM SCREAMING!!!!!!!!

user He’s P1 in our hearts 😍🧡

user Get him some fish sticks

user ok song choice, you know what’s up

user can already hear his giggles

user Yeah, we needed this for sure

user IT'S FRIDAY THENNN 🕺

user Lando buzzing that he gets to eat a proper meal for once 😂

user At this point I don’t watch for the celebrities, I watch for Y/N.

user the capri sun is so iconic

user Weird, I’m jealous of a ketchup bottle

user BROOO IS THAT HOW IT FEELS TO GO ON A DATE WITH LANDOOO!???? cause im in

user We can’t gatekeep him anymore😭

user So this is what a date with Lando Norris is like?

user not him and charles beefing in the comments over Y/N 😭😭

user 😭 HOW 😭 DOES 😭 IT 😭 FEEL 😭 TO 😭 BE 😭 LIVING 😭 MY 😭DREAM 😭

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yourinstagram . 2hrs ago

seen by landonorris maxverstappen1 57,279,364 others

landonorris replied to your story!

you love me really

no comment

yourinstagram

yourinstagram The secret is out 💋 chickenshopdate with landonorris out now!

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user RUNNING TO WATCH RN

user Y/N if you don’t I will

user Please make out with every guest, okay thank you bye

user STOP SMILING MAN WHAT THE HECK HE IS SO CUTE

user “i’m down” fell to my knees in the grocery store

user LMFAOO the way she answered “playing hard to get” too😭😭😭😭

user The LIP BITE after the ‘even hotter if I was in there’ 😅😅😅 OH MY

user LMAO she still didn’t follow him back😭😭😭😭😭

user lmk when someone writes this fanfic pls

user Y/N. This man is in love with you.

user Man was offended by "thats why your not winning" 😭

user Nah because they’re cuteeeee together 😩😩

user Wow I think I might like this one more than the one with central cee 😭

user Freaking get married right now

user he’s so bashful loveeee

user best duo ever ahahahahaah so chaotic

user Wasn’t long enough!!!!! 😭😭

user Okay, now I need every F1 racer to do chicken shop date

user This is a real date

user Lmao, best crossover

user This is illegal 😭 too cute😍

user PLS HE COULDN'T EVEN STOP BLUSHING 😩😩😩

user Amelia, this is so darn cute, please just date him already

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Y/N L/N → LANDO NORRIS | CHICKEN SHOP DATE

landonorris

liked by yourinstagram carlossainz55 89,265,186 others

landonorris Gonna go get my appendix removed. Apparently you do it and you win a race soooooo…. congrats Carlitos 🌶️ #weightloss

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user CARLANDO. 🙏

yourinstagram Yay you were faster !!! 😍 xxx ⤷ landonorris all for you bae ⤷ user 😭💀 ⤷ user CSD effect💅 ⤷ user HELP HE WAS ⤷ user followed him back after getting on the podium 😂😂😂 ⤷ user it’s the power of love….🎶 ⤷ user more Y/N motivation 😍😍😍👏👏 ⤷ user FAV WAG 🥰 ⤷ user the most supportive gf for real ⤷ user not him calling her bae on the main

user What a duo 🔥

user Another Carlando podium….Another happy day 😁

user every racing driver about to go remove their appendix

user CARLANDO NATION! WE WON 🧡❤️

user All drivers take notes 📝 🤣🤣

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landonorris and yourinstagram . 4hrs ago

seen by carlossainz55 charles_leclerc 79,394,579 others

charles_leclerc replied to yourinstagram story!

so is this still a no for that chicken shop date??

get lando's blessing and then we'll talk

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mikaela-the-slut-expert · 4 months

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Hello! I'm so happy I found your blog! I like your story, the way you write it! And it’s so easy for me to imagine my OC with your story, because our OCs are a little similar, only my character is something like a god/demon of death, a little more cold and his pets are snakes))

Sooooo... Sorry for taking a lot of time with my character 😅 the request for headcanons is haulian x reader and how will Xie Lian and Hua Cheng react if the reader feels like the third wheel in their trio and become a little bit distant because want to give them some space? (I have the idea in my head that the reader is basically like your OC, i like him soooooo much)

Sorry if it's not clear, English is not my native language. And if you don't like the idea, just ignore it))

Closing The Distance

Hua Cheng x M!Reader x Xie Liam

I'm so happy you like my writing and I love to hear about your OC so don't worry. I'm happy our OC's are so similar 🥰🖤

I like writing stories with my headcanons soooo bare with me, bear with me???

____________________________________

You've been distant. Well you've never reached out to people before this either, but you're more distant than usual.

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng noticed immediately.

How you start declining things, how you just sit to the side, you don't talk much, You let them sleep alone, eat dinner alone.

You stop being near them. The kisses you give dwindle down to nothing and the words "I love you" have been reserved.

They haven't a clue why. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng have tried to think of every reasonable possibility but don't know why

Why would you want to be alone when it's supposed to be the three of you together?

It gets to the point where they have to visit you instead of the other way around. Paradise Manor, and Puqi shrine is all of your homes but you don't show up to either one anymore.

You're hiding away at your own place and they just don't know what to do

It really breaks Xie Lian's heart because you've been by his side all these years why do you want to leave now?

Hua Cheng is equally devastated. He would do anything for you and Xie Lian but you're pulling away.

The two can only think that maybe you just don't love them anymore, maybe you're tired of them?

You would never do that though

Xie Lian doesn't like it and neither does Hua Cheng. They intend to get to the bottom of it because they love you.

They would try to give you space but when it seems to only make it worse they don't stop bothering you

That's what it seems like you need, to be bothered.

Xie Lian keeps asking, and caring for you

Hua Cheng gets insecure. He knows he's good that Xie Lian loves him but do you? You aren't disgusted by him are you? Contrary to popular belief ghost kings get insecure too

************************************

You are pathetic, at least you feel like you are. Hiding away like a bug under a rock. You don't know when it started and you couldn't control it when it got out of hand. It's nothing against Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, you love them dearly. But the problem you have feels like a problem you can't even bring up. You don't want to hurt them.

Would you hurt them more by bringing it up or staying hidden?

So you've been... Lying here. Bed rotting. If you can even call it that. You're actually just lying under a rock. Very literally. You're hanging out in a small cave. It's nothing you aren't used to you used to do it with Xie Lian all the time.

You could've gone to the heavens and hidden up there but you don't have friends. You have Feng Xin, and Mu Qing but you know they would snitch on you if it came to Xie Lian. So here you are under a rock. Overthinking.

You always overthink, it's why you left in the first place. You also felt selfish. It's hard to see Xie Lian and Hua Cheng together. You love them both, honest! But what do they even need you for? They look perfect without you, like they were made to just have each other. You felt like you were getting in the way, or like a third wheel.

You know they love you too but... It feels so difficult to be included. When Hua Cheng first showed up he immediately was able to take Xie Lian's side and help him with missions. Which was fine you guys needed the extra help anyways but then you learned their pasts. They're just so intertwined with each other

Hua Cheng built temples for Xie Lian, released 3,000 lanterns, built statues, fought in war, challenged 33 gods, cut out his eye, and died 3 times for him, and broke his shackles! What could you possibly add to the relationship. No one could care for Xie Lian better than Hua Cheng.

Xie Lian saved Hua Cheng when he was a child, and stayed with Wu Ming. Gave him a coral pearl, and red string. What have you done?

All the heavens talk about is Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. The ghost realm is the same. You were never a prominent figure so people forget you're even there. They don't even know you're their lover too.

So yes it's hard, and maybe it's selfish that you want to feel more included when they already spoil you when anything you could ask for. Which is why you're hiding in a small, dumb cave. You eventually fall asleep to the pitter, patter of rain.

When you wake up you aren't under a rock anymore. You're in bed. In red sheets, in a red room, red, red, red. You're at paradise manor. You wouldn't mind that if you weren't actively avoiding your lovers. You sit straight up in bed and before you can tumble out Xie Lian is at your bedside. He's frowning and has this worried look in his eyes that makes you feel guilty.

"Where have you been, y/n?" You look away and shrug. "In the cave you found me in" your lips wobble a little. You don't know what to say. What excuse could you use this time? You pick at a loose piece of thread on the blanket and notice that Hua Cheng isn't in the room with you two. ". . . Where's San Lang?"

"A-Lang" Xie Lian interrupts you and his hand finds yours "You've always called him A-Lang"

You want to crinkle under his piercing gaze. "Where's A-Lang?" You whisper glancing back at the blanket.

"Standing outside the room. Baobei why have you been avoiding us?" Xie Lian turns your gaze back to him.

"I-I just was dealing with my own issues" Your hands fist in the blankets and your eyes get watery just thinking about how selfish you've been.

Xie Lian's hand caresses your cheek, "Our issues. We can help you if you tell us."

You bite your lips and bring your hand up trying to wipe your tears before they get the chance to stream down your face. "It's selfish" you spit, venom covers your tongue. "It was a pathetic reason, really. I just was overthinking and I felt like. . . A third wheel. It's not a big deal though" You glare at the blanket. Your anger of course isn't directed at them but at yourself. Xie Lian knows this too.

"A third wheel, how come?" He runs his fingers through your hair. Him and Hua Cheng have tried everything to include you so how could one feel left out?

"It's my own fault, I just don't feel like I have anything to add. I've nothing to offer. I've done nothing compared to you two" You're completely useless like always.

Xie Lian's questioning is interrupted when the door slams open. You both jump when Hua Cheng storms in and grabs a hold of your face. He would never hurt you, you all know this. "Nothing to offer? Just who are you talking about right now?" He frowns at you with furrowed brows. "I don't think we're seeing the same person." He doesn't let you divert your gaze keeping you there.

Hua Cheng knows what you're feeling, your insecurities stemming all from feeling useless. He knows how it is. "You have everything to offer and even if you didn't we would love you anyways. You don't have to add anything y/n, you can just be" he frowns and sits on the bed.

"I think you're going blind in your other eye. I really don't have anything" you blink away tears. "This one offers so much and he doesn't even know, he's done so much for the two of us and doesn't remember. Right gege?" Hua Cheng looks at his other husband for approval and Xie Lian nods.

"This one is a heavenly official. You have to work hard to become a god in the upper court" Xie Lian adds. You scoff though. "That's not what I'm talking about, I-I haven't done anything for the two of you"

Hua Cheng wants to shake you in a jar. "You have though!" Now he's yelling and Hua Cheng doesn't yell only when it comes to the two of you. "Who's rayed by Xie Lian all these years protecting him when I was lost? You did! Who took care of Hong er when Gege's other servants wouldn't dare touch him? You did. Who gave a mongrel child their family heirloom because he had sympathy and was kind? You did!" Hua Cheng holds your face in his hands still.

"You work so hard, and have gone through so much just like the rest of us and yet you still worry about others still!"

"every night this one takes care of us and helps Gege make dinner. Every day this one protects us, every day this one thinks of us and gives his best for us!"

Hua Cheng gives endless reasons small to large. You're crying in his hands and Hua Cheng wipes them away for you.

"No one is allowed to insult my lovers, even if they're doing it themselves" Hua Cheng finishes and kisses your forehead. Xie Lian is smiling and he kisses your forehead too.

"Don't run from us anymore, you can tell us what you're thinking anytime. Me and San Lang have no problem giving you the reassurance you need" he hums and joins you two in bed. All three of you cuddle for the rest of the night and the two practically suffocate you, not allowing you to leave bed. But you love them and would gladly lie here tangled in their limbs.

____________________________________

I hope y'all like it! Also ignore my grammar mistakes guys I always have some. 🖤

#hualian #hualian x reader #tgcf #tgcf headcanon #hua cheng x reader #tgcf x male reader #xie lian x reader #tgcf xie lian #xie lian #tgcf hualian #tgcf hua cheng #hua cheng #tgcf x reader

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munsster · 1 year

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kurt kunkle and his bimbo girlfriend

A/N: this week has literally forced me to be obsessed with this greasy little slasher (soooooo my inbox is surely open!) (gif creds: @stevesnailbat)

Pairing: Kurt Kunkle x Fem!Bimbo!Reader

Warnings: Spree (2020) related content, kurt kunkle, smut/suggestive themes, MDNI, slasher themes (blood, gore, murder, ghostface), pet names (baby, slasher), cam/stream sex

im sorry but gamer bf x bimbo gf trope is actually flooring me rn

he’s just this greasy little streamer you started watching and you’re this total babe who’s obsessed with him

and you are really obsessed with him

you are literally his Number one fan

if kurt kunkle has 100 fans, youre one of them. if kurt kunkle has 1 fan, its you. if kurt kunkle has no fans, you’re dead.

you plugging kurtsworld96 at any given chance, like he’s so confused the first time he hears you do it, but then he gets so happy and just pulls you in

you being the first one to be super excited about his amount of viewers/followers

a celebratory kiss for ur streamer bf 🥰

also getting really worried when he seems to be in a little bit of trouble (ie cops in the background yikes)

him always reassuring you that he’s fine and he’ll figure it out

you dont know it but he’ll do anything you say, even if it meant turning off his stream for the night

you literally suggested doing cam stuff together before chat suggested it, but now chat is like obsessed with that because theyre a bunch of pervs

you treating chat like a sassy lil mama (“ew! behave yourselves” “ask nicely” “‘put it in her ass’ oh cmon, you know better” “shhh, quit being bratty, thats not how good little viewers get what they want, now is it?”)

youre such a lil price gouger, youre like “okay if someone sends in $50, i’ll let you guys watch us” and chat loves you so obviously they end up doing that

kurt really really loves you, plus you do wonders for his numbers. viewers basically double when he even mentions you

“‘kill your gf’ pfft yeah right, i know all his tricks, i’d like to see him try!” and you’re like in his lap and grinning and he just grins at you and when you turn to face him, he lands a big ol smooch on you

even after months of being together, he still gets nervous around you

and you always tell him to “relax, baby, it’s just me” all while he’s literally buzzing in your presence

he probably likes his hair pulled tbh

like even when you just run your fingers through his hair, he’s purring, he’s so slutty for it

asking him to do skincare/haircare with you as an excuse to take showers together 😝

like of course he’s gonna do it 1) because he loves you and 2) because afterwards, he smells like a candy store

you picking out his outfits because what he wears now is actually a cry for help

no because he would actually let you treat him like a dress up doll

you being really excited about it and telling him to do GRWM and OOTD segments on his streams (which are completely led + narrated by you, but he doesn’t need to know that)

him teaching you how to play video games (even though you already kinda know, you let him have his moment)

you designing the clickbait thumbnails for all of his youtube videos and they’re definitely all sparkly and pink and cute

you begging him to come with you to get your nails done, telling him he doesn’t have to get his nails done, you just want him to go with you

but of course, you convince him to get his nails done (just a basic polish *cough cough* in literally neon green, his choice) and he flaunts it to stream

he definitely makes fun of bobby like “my girlfriend is literally so hot. where’s yours? oh wait……”

and you HATE bobby

you think he’s a bad friend to kurt, but you’d never tell him that. you just scheme like “noooo baby, hang out with me, not bobby” and he’s like okay 🥰

also him being a little protective and possessive over you

like when other attractive people glance at you, he’ll grab your hand or put his arm around you or ask for a little kiss (all of which you do happily)

i love yous are thrown around like none other, and it makes him blush everytime. even when youre just tuning in, if he gets that “i love you, slasher” message, he’ll go red as a tomato

oh that reminds me: youre favorite movies being slasher films like scream and scary movie and american psycho, and he’s not stupid so he definitely senses the theme there

bonus: he definitely buys one of those ghostface masks just to surprise you (and get into your pants)

you offering to help clean his car after particularly gory kills (and he knows ur really good with aesthetics and detail work)

also you cleaning him up after particularly gory kills 🥺

like he’ll come home with blood streaked down his face, and you’re like “aw baby 😟 c’mere”

he LOVES it, he feels like a little puppy dog around you because you take care of him so well

you are all about sneak attack kisses, and he never knows what to do with them, he just sits there and smiles while you hold his face and pecks his lips

bro eventually, he’ll start laying the rizz down on you (and he’s not very good at it but) its so sweet that he’s genuinely trying and happy

like he’ll just spit pick-up line after pick-up line whenever you’re around, and you just giggle and kiss him on the cheek

you don’t even have to ask and he’ll buy you cute clothes. not that he’s insanely rich or like raking it in, but he makes enough, and he will spend money on something nice for you before he buys something for himself

him begging to drive you anywhere and anywhere even though your car works perfectly fine, he just wants to do things for you

also him begging to rig your car with cameras, too, just so when he does have to be in your car, he can still stream

ummm bonus: he definitely sets up a camera above his bed so like not only can he do sleeping streams, but…. you know…… angles 😌

you bringing him snacks and drinks during his stream and he gets the biggest googly eyes

you’ll just walk in in like the skimpiest little outfits, grinning and winking at the camera before giving kurtie a sloppy kiss

yall he’s so fucking dumb (in a loving way), but you’ll get into the car in like the most revealing and tight top and he’ll get all nervous and try to angle the cameras like ‘yall seeing this???’ all while smirking to himself

him accidentally referring to you as his wife on multiple occasions while streaming

letting you put your songs in the queue every so often

bonus: after hearing you play it literally once, his new favorite song is ‘stars are blind’ by paris hilton. that shit bangs and he knows it

him making you a playlist of all his songs (and he actually falls in love when you mention the fact that you listen to it almost constantly)

he actually can’t believe you love him and you’re of fan of his work and you’re actually the cutest thing he’s ever seen (nice tits, too)

it takes a lot of convincing and proof on his part that you truly love him, but you’re not shy about showing it and you’ll prove it to him anytime he needs

masterlist

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artsyannierose · 8 months

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POPPY FINALLY FANGIRLING LIKE I ALWAYS WANTED HER TO

NO CAUSE THE NEW SCENE COMPLETELY BROKE ME INTO PIECES I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I MISSED THEIR RELATIONSHIP KWABDJDFGSDSWRSFDYVJBKJKHTTDGCHBJBJ

im calm

i think

can I first talk about this small conversation in particular

I dunno about you guys but the voice acting just feels so…REAL

Like, raw

like an actual conversation between to people rather than two actors

There’s so much emotion, and that goes for other scenes I’ve seen too, like Viva’s introduction, I’m a big fan of the voice overs this movie

OK BUT BRANCH’S FACE WHEN POPPY CALLS HIS NAME IM MELTING

HE LOOKS SO HAPPY TO HEAR HER MY BABY 🥹🥹

literally went from 😒 to 🥰

THEN WENT BACK TO 😑 AFTER HEARING HER SUGGESTION LMAO

I’m crying at how he immediately jumped to the idea that Poppy was against him and did a double take like “wait what”

AND POPPY KNOWS HOW TO GET HER TO DO WHAT SHE WANTS ITS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY

AND HE HAS NO POWER TO SAY NO TO HER PLEEEAAASSEEEE THEY’RE SUCH BF AND GF

“Alright, fiNE”

😭😭💀💀

AND LOOK AT HER FACE SHE KNOWS HER POWER OVER HIM LMAO

im not going to elaborate on the song bc I’m too Broppy-hyper but DARN DID I FEEL ELATED WHEN BRANCH STARTED SINGING

I LOVE HIM GETTING THE SPOTLIGHT FINALLYYYYYY

ily Justin Timberlake

literally my reaction was worse than poppy’s💀

ANOTHER THING I WANNA MENTION

HELLO POPPY SIMPING OVER BRANCH IS SOOOOOO LONG OVERDUE

I NEED MORE OF THIS THIS MOVIE BETTER DELIVER

POPPY PINING OVER BRANCHHHHHH

And honestly the way she sang along and mouthed lyrics was so cute omg 😭😭

FRICKING

STAN

SUPPORTIVE GF

She’s so goofy

The way she yanks out that camera and COMPLETELY DITCHING HER QUEEN STATUS

NUH-UH SHE IS A HARDCORE BROZONE FANGIRL AND I AM HERE FOR IT

They’re so perfect for each other bro the king of pop w/ the literal royal queen of pop

the way she pulls out her camera tho

…

y’all I just

just

🫠

THIS SIR

IS THE STATUS THIS KING DESERVES

THANK YOU DREAMWORKS

MAKE POPPY FEEL LUCKY TO HAVE HIM (I mean THIH did that well but sTiLL)

New obsession unlocked:

FLIRTY POPPY >>>

I’m so ill for them goshhhh

TBH I WASNT AS EXCITED AS THIS MOVIE AS I WAS TWT AND THIH BUT NOW I AMMMMM

BBBBRRRRROOOPPPPPPYYYYYYYYY HERE I COMEEEEEEEE

im sorry I’ll shut up and let you move on with your day

#broppy #branch #queen poppy #trolls branch #trolls poppy #trolls band together #dreamworks trolls #i love them so much #two little idiots in love #I NEED MORE THEM #DO YOU UNDERSTAND #THIS MOVIE BETTER BE SO BROPPY CENTRIC #i need sleep

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heavyhitterheaux · 1 year

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Will You Be My Valentine? (NSFW 18+)

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: you know Jack is always going to show out for his wife 🥰

Synopsis: Jack has asked you to be his valentine every year since the two of you became a couple so you feel some type of way when February 14th, 2023 is getting closer and he hasn't

Pairing: Baby!Jack Harlow x Baby!Reader, Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

First Lady of Private Garden Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

February 9th, 2013

“Jack, you haven’t asked her, yet?!?” Urban exclaimed while looking over at him in disbelief.

Valentine’s Day was literally in less than a week and Jack hadn’t asked you yet. Instead, he was trying to think of a creative way to ask you and he didn’t have any ideas so far.

“I’m working on it!”

“She’s your girlfriend! What is there to work on?! She’s already dating your dumbass so it’s not like she’s going to say no!”

“Shut the hell up. It’s our first one so I want it to be special. Are you going to help me or not?”

“With WHAT?! Y/N, will you be my valentine?! There, SIMPLE!”

“You can be such an ass sometimes.”

“And you can be annoying as hell when it comes to all that lovey dovey shit with your girl. You always try to go out of your way to impress her and shit when in reality, she loves anything your goofy ass does.”

Just then you walked up to both of them as they were sitting on the bleachers outside during lunch and you were all smiles.

“OH, Y/N!!!! Jack has something he wants to ask you!”

“URBAN!”

“Sure, what is it babe?” You asked while sitting next to him and all Urban was doing was smiling.

“I….”

“Come on Jack, we rehearsed this just before she walked over here.” Urban said while nudging him.

“Will you quit it, Urb?!”

“I’m trying to help you!”

“Okay, what are you two dumbasses going on and on about? And babe, why are you turning red?”

“I’ll leave you two to it since Jack is probably intimidated by my presence. Just so you know Y/N, I would have asked you already. Anyway, I’m out.”

“Asked me what?!”

“Ask your boyfriend!” Urban yelled over his shoulder before going back inside the school.

You noticed Jack was now more interested in his shoes and you took the opportunity to raise his head with your hand so he could look at you.

“Smush, what is going on? You’re making me nervous.”

“Well you always make me nervous. That’s nothing new.” Jack answered while pushing his glasses back up on his face.

“Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to pull it out of Urban?”

All Jack did was sigh before unzipping his backpack and reaching into it and pulling out a red and white build-a-bear.

“Is that for me?!”

“I’ve been carrying it around for two weeks trying to think of a creative way to ask you to be my valentine and I still haven’t come up with anything. Soooooo, Y/N, will you be my valentine?”

“I would be your valentine forever if it was left up to me, so yes, obviously.” You answered while throwing your arms around him and he eagerly hugged you back.

“I like that idea. Oh, press her left hand.”

You did as Jack instructed you to do and soon you started to hear one of your favorite songs by Tamia, “Into You.” which you and Jack decided was “your song” for your relationship.

The song always seemed to be playing when you two were around each other so it definitely wasn’t a coincidence.

“If this happens every year, I could definitely get used to it.”

Just then you heard commotion behind you and turned around to see Urban, Quiiso, Shloob, and Ace with Urban holding his phone up to record Jack asking you.

“OW! DAMN IT URB! THAT WAS MY FOOT!”

“I TOLD YOUR ASS TO GET OUT THE WAY SO I COULD GET THE PERFECT ANGLE OF BOTH OF THEM!”

“So much for being discreet.”

“What the hell are you four doing?!” Jack exclaimed while looking down at them.

“We had to document you asking Y/N to be your valentine! This is the first one with you two as a couple after all.”

“And here I thought Jack was a simp, it’s Urban.”

“I’m a good best friend that’s what it is unlike yall dumbasses!”

“Well, I thought the gesture was cute, Urban.” You said while laughing and holding your bear tighter.

“Oh, and that was my idea to add the song.”

“HEY!”

“What?! Give me my credit where credit is due.”

“I love it anyway, thank you boo.” You said as you kissed Jack’s cheek and he immediately turned red.

“Yall are actually sickening and I love it at the same time.” Shloob said while opening his bag of chips.

“They’re getting married, I’m calling this shit.”

Present Day

It was less than 48 hours until Valentine’s Day and you were currently mean mugging your husband and he couldn’t figure out what you had such an attitude for. He was trying to tread lightly just in case the issue had to do with him.

“Baby, why do you keep looking at me like you want to kill me?” Jack asked while making sure he was across the room just in case you wanted to throw something.

“Jackman, it is February 12th.”

“Yes, I know.”

“YOU KNOW?!”

“Baby, yes I know! Did I forget something?”

“I should make you figure it out since it is so incredibly obvious.”

“Stink, I’m not following.” Jack said as he attempted to brush a few stray curls out of your face and you still kept the pout on your face.

All you did was open a box of godiva chocolate and began eating without answering his question..

“Where did you get that?!”

“Doesn’t matter, all you need to know is that Clay knows the way to my heart and I suggest that you ask me to be your valentine before he beats you to it.”

“WHAT!?”

“Did I stutter?”

“HE BOUGHT YOU THAT?!”

“He sent me a text and asked me if there was anything I needed or wanted and I said chocolate and he came through unlike his big brother. I’m convinced you don’t love me anymore.”

“Wait a minute. You’re mad because I didn’t ask you to be my valentine?! And you better cut the shit right now talking about I don’t love you anymore. Loved you since I first laid eyes on you.”

“OBVIOUSLY! And bullshit, you didn’t tell me until we were seventeen.”

“Baby, come on. You know better than that.”

“JACKMAN, I AM CARRYING THREE OF YOUR CHILDREN SO EXCUSE ME IF I GET A LITTLE EMOTIONAL!”

“Babe, come here.” Jack made his way over to you and slid you onto his lap while kissing you.

“Quit pouting, too.” All you did was cross your arms while rolling your eyes.

“Baby, I didn’t ask you to be my valentine because that’s already understood that you are. You and them.”

“Hmmph.”

“Y/N!”

All you did was stay silent.

“Fine, Y/N Y/M/N Harlow, love of my life, the woman that I married, and the mother of my three children, who I have loved since I was fifteen will you do me the honor of being my valentine this year?”

“Oh wow, this is such a surprise! This is just so unexpected and I… I just don’t know what to say!” You said while getting a startled look on your face.

“Are your….. Are your eyes watering and are you serious?!”

“HORMONES! AND YES I’M SERIOUS!”

“Babe! You’ve been my valentine since I was fifteen! I have to ask you every year now?”

“What do you mean now?! And YES! Because you always do!”

“I just did and you still didn’t give me an answer!”

“No.”

“NO?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?!”

“Clay asked me first!”

“YOU SAID HE JUST GOT YOU THE CHOCOLATE YOU WANTED AND THAT HE DIDN’T ASK YOU!”

“Oh did I say Clay? I meant Dua.”

“Now I’m really about to kick her ass.”

“Just playing with you, baby. Of course I’ll be your valentine. Forever and ever and ever.” You said while leaning up to kiss him and he eagerly kissed you back.

“It’s only right that I have to ask them too.” Jack answered, nodding towards your stomach.

“Well, go ahead.”

“Hold on, I have an idea.”

Jack slid you off of his lap and went into the kitchen as you continued to eat your chocolate that Dua not Clay bought for you, but Jack didn’t need to know that.

Jack then came back and placed three candy hearts on your stomach and you couldn’t do anything but smile.

“You are so fucking cheesy and I love it.”

“Baby Harlows, will you do me the honor of being my valentine along with mommy this year?”

“I think they said yes.”

“YOU THINK?! Why do you INSIST on stressing me out?!”

“So dramatic, smush of course they said yes.”

“Come next year, valentine’s day might look a little different with three more people for us to love, but keep in mind you were my first valentine and that's not going to change.”

Jack looked up from your stomach once he heard your sniffles.

“Babe, not again. You have always cried easily, but now that you’re pregnant, it’s even worse. You cried because I put on your pink fluffy socks as you were telling me thank you last night.”

“I CAN’T HELP IT! I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH!” You exclaimed as Jack was trying to calm you down.

“I love you too, baby girl. Now please stop crying before the babies think something is seriously wrong with you. Then when they get here they’ll be sending death glares to me thinking that it was my fault just like you were earlier.”

Just then Urban came down the steps and saw the candy hearts sitting on your stomach and made his way over to you.

“Can I eat those? And why are you crying?”

“NO! And she’s crying because I asked her to be my valentine.” Jack said as he swatted Urban’s hand away as he looked at both of you and rolled his eyes.

“Why? They are literally there just sitting on her stomach. And aren’t you his valentine every damn year?”

“They’re for the babies! And so what?!”

“Okay?? And?? They can’t eat them.”

“Ew, Urby. You actually like candy hearts?” You asked as he sat next to you and started to pick them off one by one and pop them in his mouth.

“Stink, does that answer your question?” Jack asked as he rolled his eyes.

“Hey, who sent you this chocolate? I want some.” Urban started to reach over you to get to the box, but you quickly smacked his hand.

“OW!”

“Dua got them for me and no you can’t have them. Early Valentine’s Day gift. Never take food from a pregnant woman, you should know better.”

“WHAT?! I THOUGHT YOU SAID CLAY GOT THEM FOR YOU?”

“Oh, did I?”

“BABY!”

“Oops.”

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, saweetie, cardib, normani, djdrama, estgee, yungskylark, and 1,892,003 others

y/ninsta: Valentine's Day 2023, jackharlow had me mad as hell two days ago, but he made up for it. Love you smush, my forever valentine 🥰🥰🥰🥰

saweetie: wait a minute, didn't he just buy you a car and now you have ANOTHER ONE?

sza: saweetie okay dj khaled

danivalentine: y/ninsta what did he do and do I need to jump him?

jackharlow: saweetie limit does not exist when it comes to my wife. anything she asks for I get. within reason of course.

jackharlow: danivalentine NO! I didn't do anything! your sister is just emotional and SPOILED!

y/ninsta: jackharlow I AM NOT AND IT'S WHAT YOU DIDN'T DO THAT HAD ME SO UPSET!

saweetie: jackharlow I will kick your ass so you better start explaining

jackharlow: she was upset because I didn't ask her to be my valentine because I thought it was UNDERSTOOD that she was since she has been since we were FIFTEEN

danivalentine: y/ninsta you are spoiled lil bit lol and jackharlow your dumbass knows better

jackharlow: danivalentine BUT SHE KNOWS THAT THOUGH. I MARRIED HER!

y/ninsta: danivalentine I'm gonna pretend that I didn't see that jackharlow gimme an elephant

theestallion: here she goes lol

jackharlow: y/ninsta baby where are we going to put it?

y/ninsta: jackharlow idk, you figure it out

jackharlow: y/ninsta how about the elephant sanctuary in Thailand?

normani: well shit

claybornharlow: enjoy the bracelet I got you

jackharlow: clay, delete that

claybornharlow: jackharlow no.

y/ninsta: claybornharlow jackharlow 😜😜😜😜😜

y/ninsta: jackharlow BOOK OUR FLIGHTS NEOW!

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta you don't need any more pets

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt well jackharlow didn't tell me no

jackharlow: y/ninsta me offering to take you to Thailand was me telling you no. if that wasn't clear, here.... NO.

y/ninsta: jackharlow worst husband of 2023 and the year just started🙄

dualipa: he's had that award for five years now

jackharlow: y/ninsta TAKE THAT SHIT BACK NEOW. I WILL RETURN THE CAR! and dualipa if you don't shut the fuck up and take your ass on somewhere. STOP SENDING HER CHOCOLATE AND ASKING HER TO BE YOUR VALENTINE

danivalentine: well this is a turn of events

shloob_: why are we not surprised?

y/ninsta: jackharlow YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH MY FUCKING CAR!

dualipa: jackharlow YOU'RE JUST MAD THAT I DID IT FIRST

jackharlow: I'm tired of fighting for my life every time I post something on here smh jackharlow: oh and y/ninsta we have to dance to our song before the night is over y/ninsta: jackharlow stop it before I cry again jackharlow: y/ninsta good lord lmao theestallion: wait what is yall song? y/ninsta: theestallion back that azz up by juvenile saweetie: bitchhhhh lmao jackharlow: y/ninsta BABY! QUIT IT! theestallion it's Into You by Tamia theestallion: back that azz up could be a warm up song tho y/ninsta: theestallion I like the way you think

Liked by y/ninsta, champagnepapi, estgee, djdrama, urbanwyatt, danivalentine, quiiso, and 2,753,884 others

jackharlow: Woke up to y/ninsta handing this to me. SAY LESS BABY 😭😭😭

y/ninsta: jackharlow he ain't eat it right if he ain't have to change the sheets 😜😜

saweetie: her ass would make something like this lol

2forwoyne: save me a slice

danivalentine: y/ninsta I literally CANNOT with you lmaooo

y/ninsta: 2forwoyne no. reserved for my baby. I'll make you something else. we're using it for extracurricular purposes

saweetie: she means jackharlow is probably going to be eating the cake off of her boobs

jackharlow: saweetie wouldn't be the first time either and definitely won't be the last

cardib: 😭😭😭😭

urbanwyatt: and we're not going to talk about how she woke me up at 2 am because she forgot to make it and made me help her. I do NOT get enough credit being best friends to the both of you

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt you will be compensated accordingly and I needed a test taster

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta YOU COULD HAVE CALLED 2FO

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt you were right upstairs tho

jackharlow: y/ninsta ready for round 4 when you are

yungmiami: jackharlow question for you. are we about to break that record tonight and make it to 25?

jackharlow: yungmiami if I can get her ass to stop running from me we just might

y/ninsta: jackharlow 👀👀👀👀

saweetie: yeah learning jackharlow made you reach your peak 21 damn times in one night was WILD

y/ninsta: saweetie I was bedbound for four days

theestallion: NOT BEDBOUND 😭😭😭😭

jackharlow: y/ninsta and it's about to be a week this time

urbanwyatt: thank goodness I am NO WHERE near them tonight. y/ninsta good luck getting sleep bestie

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt I'm prepared to go down swinging

saweetie: y/ninsta and by swinging you mean scratching your nails down jackharlow's back

dualipa: not if I have anything to do with it and y/ninsta where's my cake?

jackharlow: dualipa in the trash where you also belong

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, danivalentine, saweetie, djdrama, neelamthadhani, privategarden, quiiso, nemoachida, and 2.004,872 others

y/ninsta: somebody asked what my favorite valentines day gift was from jackharlow and here it is lmaoooo he got it for me our senior year in high school 😭

saweetie: jackharlow I literally CANNOT lmaooooo your dumbass would get this for her

urbanwyatt: we saw it in Spencers and he was like this is perfect lol

claybornharlow: the bear is telling the truth

jackharlow: clay.... don't start

lilnasx: lmaoooo gotta be one of the best gifts I've ever seen

jackharlow: shit I call it like I see it. my baby is gorgeous.

quiiso: jack been going all out for valentine's day every single year. every time I think he can't top the year before he does

jackharlow: quiiso my wife is expensive, gotta keep the ideas coming

y/ninsta: jackharlow I'm what now?

jackharlow: y/ninsta you are my beautiful cutie pie who happens to be my wife who I love so much

y/ninsta: jackharlow oh okay. thought so. I love you too.

jackharlow: y/ninsta with your expensive ass

y/ninsta: jackharlow TAKE IT BACK

jackharlow: y/ninsta NO

dualipa: SHIT BITCH YOU IS FINE. LEMME GET YOUR NUMBER.

jackharlow: dualipa she has your number and I already blocked you and I blocked it on my phone too. idk why I even had it to begin with. don't you have someone else to bother?

dualipa: jackharlow nope and y/ninsta UNBLOCK ME SO I CAN DECLARE MY LOVE FOR YOU

jackharlow: dualipa I hid her phone and she's short so I know she won't be able to find it any time soon. bye now.

Liked by jackharlow, estgee, djdrama. sza, cardib, lizzobeeating, danivalentine, yungskylark, and 3,801,226 others

y/ninsta: and can't forget about this one 😭😭 jackharlow was like baby I have something serious to tell you. like he ass was going on and on and then he sent me this 🙄🙄🙄

jackharlow: THAT WAS SERIOUS. I WAS HORNY AND I MISSED MY WIFE!

y/ninsta: jackharlow baby I was literally just downstairs in the studio...

jackharlow: y/ninsta I still don't see the point mamas

y/ninsta: 🙄🙄🙄

danivalentine: yall are seriously sickening lmaoooo

urbanwyatt: danivalentine you tell no lies

jackharlow: look imma simp for my wife and I don't give a damn what people say

y/ninsta: jackharlow *in my cardib voice* I know that's right!

saweetie: PLEASEEEEEEEE

y/ninsta: I have the best husband in the world. might be a hot mess sometimes, but he's my hot mess lol

urbanwyatt: y/ninsta hot mess indeed

jackharlow: urbanwyatt HEY!

quiiso: I second what y/ninsta said

neelamthadhani: count me in

yungskylark: can we collectively all say to count us in lol

shloob_: lmaooo

y/ninsta: where's 2fo?!

danivalentine: y/ninsta eating in the kitchen

y/ninsta: danivalentine again?! 2forwoyne DON'T TOUCH THE PIE OR THE WHIPPED CREAM THAT GOES WITH IT

saweetie: y/ninsta who the fuck you think you fooling? that whipped cream isn't going on no damn pie

jackharlow: saweetie you right. imma put it on her

theestallion: ENOUGH!

yungmiami: has the record been broken yet? I am here for one reason and one reason only

jackharlow: yungmiami we'll address this tomorrow morning because I'm about to find out. y/ninsta baby the video above already lets you know what I wanna do so come on

y/ninsta: see yall in two weeks if I live to tell the tale 😭

DO NOT READ PAST THIS POINT IF YOU ARE NOT 18+

“Come on baby, take this shit. Didn’t you ask me to slut you out? Don’t ask me if you can’t hold up the end of your deal.” Jack was mercilessly pounding into you as you wrapped your arms around him tighter.

“Mmm, baby!”

“You’ve been such a good girl for me.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuckkkkkkk.”

“We got two more to go, I know you can take it. Stop running from me.”

Jack had noticed that you were slowly making your way towards the end of the bed and he was quick to pull you back.

“But…. I can’t.”

“Says who?”

“Shiiit baby I’m about to cum fuckkkkk.”

“See? I knew you could take it. Do it then, cum all over my dick.”

Without one more thrust, you released all over him and he was quick to slide out of you and flip the two of you over and motioned for you to sit on his face.

Jack took one long lick and you immediately grabbed the headboard to steady yourself.

“Jack… baby wait a minute.”

“What am I waiting for? You wanted to be slutted out so that’s what I’m doing so your ass needs to act accordingly. Not talking all that shit now, huh?”

“My legs are literally shaking.”

“And? They’re about to be shaking even more. Come here.”

You did as you were told and moved to get a little more comfortable before Jack decided to not show you any mercy.

“Mmm, my baby girl tastes so good.”

Jack then sped up his pace as your breathing quickened and your grip on the headboard got tighter and so did his grip on your thighs.

You were still so extremely sensitive so it didn’t take you long to once again cum all over Jack.

He then gently tossed you to the side before reaching into the bedside table that was on his side of the bed and pulled out the wand he had gifted you.

“Come on baby, we’re about to make it to thirty with this shit. Spread 'em.”

The next day you woke up and noticed that Jack was still laying beside you. He felt you stir and looked down at you and kissed your forehead.

“Good morning, baby. You feel okay?”

“Good morning and yes I’m fine.”

“I was waiting for you to wake up to ask if you wanted to take a bath and ask you what you wanted to eat.”

“Yes to the bath and I wanna eat your dick for breakfast.”

“Hmm your wish is my command.”

“Wait, hold on.”

You grabbed your phone on the nightstand to text Caresha since you told her that you would.

You- Made it to 30

Caresha- Not surprised with yall nasty asses

“Baby, who are you texting? You want this dick so much so come on.” Jack said before starting to kiss your neck and rub your clit at the same time.

“Hmm, babe wait a second. It’s Caresha.”

“Tell her I’m working you up to 45.”

“WHAT?!? JACKKKKKK!”

“That wand is really coming in handy.”

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

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@awhore4moree

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow smut #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfiction #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow x you #jack harlow concepts

328 notes · View notes

ohbo-ohno · 7 months

Note

still thinking about that time you mentioned serial killer!Ghoap fucking Reader in the dirt after hunting her down and Simon giving her her plushie for comfort and she immediately holds it tight

Like I didn’t consider myself super into stuffies in a sexual context until recently!!! You’re rewired my brain!!!!!!!! Thinking of the two of them groping Reader while she just trembles and hides her face in the stuffy because she knows she can’t fight back but she still loves hates their hands on her and hiding herself inside her comfort item is the only tiny bit of rebellion they let her get away with so she latches onto it soooooo hard 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

sorry if this doesn’t make sense i just woke up and am. On like two new meds ahaghbsababs

~🦋

im only into stuffies in a sexual context in veryyyy specific situations and with very specific characters/reader inserts. but it really works for me in the serial killer au lol

i really do love the idea of her not being attached to the stuffed animal at all at first, doesn't even really get why they keep giving it to her tbh. but after a while of the stuffy being in her arms/eyeline for every single upsetting thing, she starts to rely on it for comfort

which is perfect for ghost, who's been trying to get that exact thing to happen since they took you home.

also yeah i just looove the visual of johnny railing you way more roughly than usual and simon just tucking the little stuffed bear into your arms when you start looking particularly sad :( coos and pats your face a little, smiles when you try to hide in it's fur

#asks and answers #serial killer ghoap x reader #🦋 anon #this makes sense btw no worries lol

90 notes · View notes

lu-sn · 1 year

Text

ranking kp characters by how much they deserve to be the one to shoot korn in the head 🤍

honorable mentions: chay and macau, who might not quite have the skills to pull it off, but who would CERTAINLY rise to the occasion if sufficiently prompted

7. kinn

now, if this were a list of who needed korn to be dead the most, kinn would be much higher up on this list. poor kid. so completely gaslit. but he probably deserves to NOT be the one shooting korn, on account of the very fun i-killed-my-dad trauma he'd have to pile on top of the my-dad-is-dead trauma. so someone else should just take one for the team here 😂

6. pete

i don't think pete would derive any sort of great joy from killing korn. but he would also be totally ready to do it if, say, vegas indicated in literally any way that he wanted that. or if vegas was in danger. the reason pete deserves to do is simply that vegas would find it SO hot and would eat his ass SO GOOD for it. and pete always deserves to get his brains fucked out silly 🥺

5. kim

because it would be hot 🔥 and he'd make it look sick

ok but actually it's because kim probably has the most rage stored up regarding how fucking unfair it is for him and his big brothers to be trapped in this terrible puppet play for the rest of their lives. and he deserves to free himself and his big bros! let out all that rage! it's healthy!!! and it would be very hot

4. khun

this one's hard. how much khun deserves it is directly related to his backstory, and how he got kidnapped, and whether korn intended to push him out of the heir position. and we're just never gonna know any of that 😢 so really, khun could be anywhere on this list. but i do think that korn pulled some amount of shit here, and khun should get to repay him in full.

also, i think khun is the only one on this list who would do it slow. and i think korn should have to die slowly, pitifully, knowing that his own son is lowering him into his grave and being able to do nothing about it.

3. porsche

where do i even begin? dead dad. imprisoned mom. terrible fake uncle that skimmed all their money and put them in debt. soooooo much lying and manipulating and gaslighting holy shit like so much. porsche is owed MANY pounds of flesh.

and i think it would feel like justice served — not just for himself, but for his family. and for korn's underestimation of him. apples and dull knives, indeed.

the only reason why it might be hard for him would be because kinn would get really hecked up over it. which brings me to...

2. vegas

you could make a good argument for switching porsche and vegas on this list. but i think vegas deserves it just a tiny bit more, and that's because korn has spent vegas's entire life cutting him down into a shell of himself.

sometimes i think about how happy and at peace vegas might have been if korn hadn't been so insistent on inciting competition within the family, and then i want to cry. and then i wish vegas had pulled that trigger when he had korn in his sights.

i bet vegas wishes he had, too. he wants it. and god knows someone should start letting vegas have what he wants.

1. namphueng

you knew this was coming. we all knew.

listen i'm just saying that namphueng could desecrate korn's corpse in the most horrifying ways and i'd just be like 😌👍 girl you looked so good clawing out his jugular and sawing his limbs off do it again ❤️

(thank you @kissporsche for the idea 🥰)

#namphueng deserves to do the most heinous fucked up shit to korn i will not accept criticism #but that is because no one will criticize me i'm right 😌#kinnporsche #kinn theerapanyakul #pete saengtham #vegaspete #kim theerapanyakul #tankhun theerapanyakul #porsche kittisawasd #vegas theerapanyakul #namphueng kittisawasd #korn theerapanyakul

358 notes · View notes

h-harleybaby · 9 months

Note

HEAR ME OUT..

CARTMAN X SUCCUBUS.

Vampire!Cartman x Succubus!reader

Dedicating this to Vanny my love because it’s my old lady’s birthday <3333 @thevestigeofvanillaan

Also ty Hannah (@hannah-h-pleb) for the help

NSFW CONTENT

• Stooooooop that man is always on you!!! Your blood gets him all horny, it’s pretty much an aphrodisiac 😍😍

• Y’all’s relationship is def more friends with benefits (for now) and it just works. He gets blood and you get to… feed off him so it’s a win-win

• Tell me why he’s so obsessed with you tho, like he refuses to admit it but he is. Ugh and he gets all jealous when you try to feed from anyone else. He probs pretends that he feeds off from someone else too and gets upset when you don’t care about it

• Hear me out hear me out, he literally wants to be worshipped by you. Like you have to be on your knees and everything, practically begging for even a lil bit of his cum

• Vampire!Cartman loves cumming on your face tho, it's a hot degrading thing in his mind and you have to fight me on that. He adores jerking off onto your tongue tho, he can't get enough of that look you have in your eyes when you're waiting for his cum

• Ugh him tapping your pretty lips with his dick to get your attention when you get a lil too lost in how your fingers feel against your clit

• As I said before, he's pretty damn jealous and the best way to get him to pay attention to you is to feed off someone else. Whether it's just you telling him or even going the full 9 yards and sending a picture of you with someone else/someone else's cum on you

• He's the type to cum in your mouth as much as he can using the reasoning that you have to feed, and then make fun of you if you 'waste' any of it. Him teasing you when there's a lil bit running down your chin, telling you to be a good girl and stop wasting his cum 😍

• Everyone thinks you're dating tbh, considering how often you go to him to feed. What can I say, vampire cum just tastes good ig 🤷‍♀️ maybe it's because it's his

• I swear it's just you two constantly teasing each other. Palming Cartman under the table in public, him sliding his hand up your skirt to find out what panties you're wearing that day or lack of panties, etc.

• It's just a game between y'all at this point, the game of who's gonna fold first?

• Him because you keep edging him under the table and you can feel him twitching under your fingers? Or you because while he whispers down right filthy things in your ears, you can feel the stupidly discreet tiny vibrator against your clit under your skirt?

• It's almost embarrassing how down bad y'all are for each other, like get a room already!! One that preferably isn't in public where you're jerking him off...

• Goddddd it's soooooo much worse if you guys get together!! Before, he was at least somewhat discreet and usually pushing you and your affections away despite you guys fucking 5 minutes earlier, now he's practically always showing you off and telling his friends about... the things you did earlier. The vampire has no shame whatsoever, unholy creatures I tell you!!

• Both you and Vampire!Cartman are fucking insatiable, this time it's not only you who's crying but it's him too? He just can't help when the tears brim his pretty eyes because your cunt just squeezes around him sooooo nicely

• Of course he denies it completely, saying something about how he was yawning because you're sooooo boring. Yeah this is him doing YOU a favor, totally not the other way around

• It honestly makes him wonder why he didn't fuck you earlier, he just can't go back to his own hands after you 🥰

• No but the actual fuck is up with your tears, he tried licking them once and he had to pause for a sec because it was spicy for some reason

• Your tears kinda scare him but the masochist in him just keeps licking them because why not? It's hot, and something about them have him twitching inside you

• Pfft, virgin Vampire!Cartman who, when you first met him, would furiously try fucking whatever he could to the thought of the pretty succubus in his class that somehow enchanted him

• It's really funny because he's always thought of himself as this god, especially now that he's a vampire. But really he was this pimply lil virgin who was actually kinda cute with his practically insane ramblings of various schemes

• He was probably turned as some pimply young adult who was still trying to figure out how to get women and live life. Yeah, turns out the hot chick who lived next to his dorm room actually WAS a vampire and not some delusional freak who was somehow down to be his first time

• Ahhh, the 70's, right? Or was it the 80's? He can't even remember but that's mainly because ever since then he's been living it up and fucking with whatever humans he feels like. Or at least that's what he tells you

• Sigh you have bite mark scars because he's tried turning you into a vampire or just drank a lil too much blood, clearly it didn't work because you're still a succubus but I suppose he loves that about you

• Undead creatures of the night that can't keep their hands to themselves no matter the place because y'all are insanely horny together 😍

#h harleybaby needs help #harley won’t shut her mouth #eric cartman x reader #cartman x reader #eric cartman x y/n #eric cartman x you #eric cartman x reader headcanons #eric cartman x reader smut #cartman x reader smut #harley’s requests!

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