#just so many things i want to post and ive been having a . rough time lately so yea
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(explosion) butch info masterpost (explosion)
I’ve been asked a few things a couple of times and i just wanna lay some stuff out about butch that doesn’t get asked just so u guys know. i'll update as needed (if i can remember) <3
I can’t say everything because sooner or later I want to create some kind of comic or fic, but can’t right now cus my brain sucks and i'm pretty busy irl
Here is his updated ref sheet
How old: 30-ish
How tall: 6'8"
He kills people???!?!?!? D:
Yes. only people that really deserve it, he's not a mindless killer. Even though he's a butcher, killing isn't something he enjoys doing.
AND HE EATS THEM??! D:
No. but he sells the meat to monsters that do, in an effort to get rid of evidence. he's not friendly with the monsters he does business with, and he does not sell to humans. The selling of human meat is a drug trade of sorts; and it is by no means an easy business to get out of.
lore and loreposts;
-He needs glasses
-How he lost his fingers
-He isn't too fond of humans.
-despite everything, he is goofy.
-extra info about relationships/"clients".
-he is not too socially inept, but prefers to keep to himself and not say too much, just the way he was raised.
-he is a workaholic, preferring to stay either busy or asleep, despite occasionally getting sick from all the stress he's under.
-he is technologically illiterate, hates newer technology, but will still use a landline (for his friends or for work) and the library computers with help (to check emails cus the modern age is horrible and requires you to have an email)
-he is very slow to make friends, but when he does, theyre very good friends, going as far to consider them his family.
-he LOVES knives, and has a collection of unique knives (culinary/pocket knives/hunting knives etc) he's found or obtained from flea markets.
-because of the state of his right hand, he's technically ambidextrous, since he's had enough time to learn how to use his other hand, but still writes better with his right hand. he could use ecto fingers if he really wanted to, but he doesn't care either way.
-he lost a tooth rough housing with his brothers when he was younger (he has many siblings ((and his older brothers picked on him becus thats what loving siblings do <3 )) )
-his arms and hands are riddled with scars and cuts because thats what a lifetime of physical labor and 10 years working with sharp objects will do to u
-the gloves he wears are cutting gloves
here's some fluffy small character stuff for him ive thought about, i'll update this list when i . remember what i posted
lovers/trust/friendship
can i draw butch (or any of your characters)??
can i draw butch kissing me/my insert?
i'm ok with most fanart, I love everything everyone makes of my guys!! but if ur not sure if i'll be comfortable with it, please just shoot me a message. i dont bite i promise *bats eyelashes* also its a given but no fanart or ships can be inserted into the canon sorry
edit; pls pls check out the #fanart tag, so many beautiful ppl have drawn/written so many beautiful things of my boy and they must be seen
#butch#masterpost#urghh let me know if i missed anything or if i should add stuff#and i'll link this in my pinned post when i redo it#ggrhggahghg so many thoughts#long post#also im slowly working on cleaning up my tagging system cus i am so bad with it
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hello fellow new moot, may I request anything fluff with ghost (if you write for him)?
heyy!! I can certainly try, Ive written for other fandoms but for cod I’ve only read so far, so I’ll do my best! I really needed smth to take me out of this writers block anyways so thank you very much for the request ^^ (this is gonna be pure fluff no suggestive things or anything, so no warnings, I’ve been sitting on the whole stressed out reader thing so thats why Im using it for this, but I have many many more ideas for ghost fluff specifically coming up!!)
ok long intro over
You’re sitting on the couch at home, doing some work.
Well, trying to. Right now you’re staring at the unrealistically bright screen, thats been subtly blinding you since the laptop opened hours ago, your eyes hurt, your head hurts, your brain is tired of thinking. You place your fingers on your temples and rub your head in circular motions. All of the sudden you feel two hands on your shoulders.
“Si’? I’m sorry I would’ve gotten up to say hi at the door, I didn’t hear you come in”
“It’s okay, love. How long have you been working?” he asks concerned, as he look at the bags forming under your eyes.
“A few hours”
“How many is a few?” he continues
You quickly check the time, “roughly 5” you say trying to stifle a yawn
“Alright, thats enough working for tonight.” He says before abruptly taking your laptop
“Why’re you all cuddly tonight?” you say as you attempt to take the laptop back
“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. You need a break.” He says sternly
You fight the urge to argue with him and just let him put your stuff away, he quickly changes and sits down on the couch next to you.
“c’mere”he says quietly
you shuffle over to him and sit in his lap, you curl your legs up and lean your head against him as he runs his rough hands against your scalp softly, his other hand supporting your body.
“do you want to talk about it?” he whispers into your hair
you simply shake your head and say “Its okay, can we just enjoy each others presence for now?”
“Of course.” he goes back to working his hands into your skin, trailing around your body and getting every possible knot in your tense muscles, peppering little kisses around your face.
While this isn’t his usual demeanor, he’s okay with it because you are his home, his comfort, so he doesn’t mind being as affectionate as you need him to be. He loves being with you, being silent with you, being loud with you, as long as you’re there he loves whatever you’re doing, you soon both fall asleep intwined in each others arms on the couch, embraced in your combined warmth with the ambiance of your synced breaths.
(not proofread 😞 I am in fact very stressed with work right now so I’m sorry if this isn’t exactly what you were looking for! like I said before I so appreciate the request! Please comment and reblog and let me know if you want to be in the next taglist!)
@dudeitiskarev (for the divider!)
Do not steal or post my work on any other platform! Thank you!
(Taglist: comment if you’d like to be tagged!)
#ghost cod#ghost x reader fluff#simon riley x reader fluff#cod x reader#fluff#idk how to tag this#writing is hard#please request
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Just saw your post about demon trio GAAAHH they are my Roman Empire. The moment when Mouse approached Bad when he was brain resetting in a little patch of flowers he placed down, how close they shifted to each other, it felt so ALIEN and and and cool and I’m so NORMALLL. And when Tina splashed herself with perfume and when she had that role play moment when (idk if it was canon or a character) she was SO OBSESSED with going to heaven, I think she was born a demon, and SOMEHOW acquired religious trauma along the line probably as a child. Born a demon left at an orphanage door idk and they made all the kids go to church or something and Tina was OBSESSED because it gave order and meaning to her life but she was a demon and-
Ok right questions. Sorry, gah I love demon trio. I need an arc where Mouse and Bad get together and try to help Tina. Love how Bad hides the fact he’s a demon not because he hates himself for it (maybe a little) but because he’s a recognizable wanted fucking criminal. Where was I going with this again?
Do you have any thoughts on them? ;v; (sorry for rambling in the ask D: )
AAAA I LOVE LONG ASKS LIKE THIS
okay i TOTALLY agree with you have so many thoughts, i was literally just thinking the same thing last night!!! The absolute difference in upbringing as far as the demons really shows in how they act and i have sooooo so many thoughts about it!!!
So first off, i dont really know how old mouse is in terms of her lore but as far as BBH is concerned hes fucking weird and is constantly alluding to his existence extended FAR before the universe even existed, hell even time and space, we dont actually know what the fuck his deal in full is actually!!! What we do know is he was summoned to Earth roughly eleven to fourteen thousand years ago!
Mouse gives us not as much age-wise from what ive heard but she has expressed that she considers two thousand year olds to be "baby" not quite baby but like VERY young! (I have a personal HC that bad's summoning let loose a new age of demons, maybe not all at once but very quickly so mouse would probably be over ten thousand years old)
Tina gives us absolutely NOTHING she doesnt like talking about her demon ancestry aside from hiding it (when bagi said mouse taught her how to smell demons tina quickly panicked and doused herself in perfume, etc etc. nothing super explicit from what ive seen but im relatively new to her lore). But i personally have a hc that shes roughly three thousand years old, coming into existence around the Middle Ages in 1000 CE. That might seem extremely young but honestly thats what im going for for her!!! super extremely young!!! and born around the time when Catholicism was popular!
In my mind, they all have very much different reasons for acting the way they do and im soooooo ill about it
As a BBH main i have the most information on him so ill be talking about the lore i know from him first before getting into the other two lovely ladies!!
So what we've heard from BBH is that he prefers to "hide" his demonic features and "blend in" with humans as much as possible if he can, obviously he doesnt do very good at this but hes old as shit and very powerful so like who's gonna tell him??? From what we've heard of his lore, Bad is the cause of a LOT of minor and major disasters in history; Mt Vesuvius (who he named after a dead lover) exploding, the plague taking out most of europe (which he was a plague doctor for), and alongside other major things theres some minor events as well! Small wars he's been present in such as the HG war he was in with cellbit very recently, various other wars he eluded to that he recalled "blended together" because there were so many, that time he went to medical school for 15 minutes just to do brain surgery on that president on a boat.... he also knows a lot of major historical figures and hes been EVERYWHERE, we actually have a rough timeline of where he's been and when just based on who he knows. He knew not only the fucking guy who created the study of viruses, HIS ASS KNOWS ISAAC NEWTON..... and i think once he alluded to knowing goddamn adam and eve, maybe even being the snake in the goddamn garden. Considering its cannon to his lore that he was the angel locked beneath the euphrates river i wouldnt be surprised at that point.
All this to say: Bad has been present for and had an active hand in a LOT of major and minor disastrous historical events, and hes repeatedly talked about how people would chase him with torches and pitchforks - even referring to that activity as "therapy" and said thats the reason he doesnt believe in therapy, because it hurts and doesnt do anything for him except get him running.
Bad does not personally feel shame about his demonic features, he's used to hiding them (or at least intending to.... hes doing a bad job at it) for his own personal safety, because his role as >>>>A) a demon and B) the fucking ferryman of death<<<< brings him a LOT of negative attention. Negative attention that he's had to deal with ALONE for a majority of his existence, up until about fourteen thousand years ago.** (**A major event i feel caused a new era of Demons, we will talk about it more through the post)
Moving on to Mouse; i mention bad's role as a demon having an affect on negative things around him because i honestly think that applies to all or most demons.
I don't know much about mouse's lore, but i do know shes proud of her heritage to some degree, is unashamed to tell people shes a demon, and will even actively teach people things about her species (Bringing back Bagi again - We know in cannon Demons smell like Sulfur, its been stated pomme and dapper and bad and mouse and tina all smell like it, and we can assume empanada also does or is starting to).
I, to some degree, think the beginning of her existence was much more accepting and inviting, while bad dealt with his negative experiences alone, and tina had her own upbringing we'll get into, Mouse came into existence during a "Dark" age, when bad was summoned to earth there was a wave of the newest generation of demons being spawned into this world(not in a "father of all demons" way but more in a "large expressions of magic often lead to a ripple affect of more magic" way). A lot of shit probably happened, im not insane like badboyhalo im not gonna research what happened but theres probably some kinda major event that happened. Demons born around that era probably had some kind of support system or way of existing that was underground enough for them to not be wiped out, but they had enough freedoms that mouse and others probably felt comfortable enough to express demonic traits.
I like to think this was the era of her life that had the most influence over her existence, that she was created with pride and will ALWAYS have that pride in her species, it may be dampened but it will never go away fully!*
*I like to think shes experienced maybe some shame over her species when it comes to minor historical events that shes contributed to by just being present, but it very rarely lasts longer than the event itself.
Tina, as far as im concerned, is the youngest of the demon trio aside from their kids.
I kinda write her akin to Amethyst from SU, her existence was very recent and she was alone with very little or no initial support system, she was brought up thinking she was "wrong" in some way, her teeth and nails were too sharp, and she has horns and sometimes her skin has a purpleish hue to it that make other people think theres something wrong with her. She has a VERY obviously christian/catholic upbringing which was brought to light recently in one of her conversations with foolish. She's always felt shame about her species and she probably would have continued if it wasnt for mouse and bad, but ESPECIALLY if it wasnt for Empanada.
I have my own thoughts on the demon babies that we'll get into later, but after gaining her daughter who is very much going to be a demon (two demon parents, obvious demon child lol) i cant help but wonder how tina's planning on pushing aside her feelings of shame to make Empanada feel welcomed and loved regardless of her species?
Tina's very young, of course shes seen some major events in history but shes never been raised in community, she probably didnt even know thats just something that comes with the horns until very recently! I can imagine bad and mouse joking and giggling about that town that they stayed the night in that caught fire the next day that they got chased out of a couple hundred years ago, and i can imagine tina being confused as to why they found that amusing, is that normal? Tina's always had minor disasters follow her, her home town very likely burned down or got sick following or preceding a major milestone in her life, and thats probably continued to happen over the thousands of years shes been alive! Being a demon brought up in a very anti-demon environment, whos to say she even knew there were other demons out there really? She was a curse from god, she brought nothing but poor luck and sickness to her household (which i agree with you she was probably residing in an orphanage), she brought it everywhere she went. I cant help but ask myself "did she feel relief that it wasnt just her, or even more shame finding out this is a common occurrence for demons?"
Now thats most of what i have regarding the parents but i have a few notes on the demon kids. I think all the eggs have some sort of demonic features, obviously bads a huge influence on all of them and they care about him as their tia so i draw most of the babies with horns and tails of some kind, but i am particularly focusing on Dapper, Pomme and Empanada, the three demon babies whos actual official parents are the demons.
I dont have anything too specific for them, but i do believe they will grow up to have an attitude towards their species akin to how Mouse acts.
Unlike other demons or even their parents growing up, they have a support system and parents to explain to them things that will happen to them as they get older! They'll have someone to come back to, who will explain "Yes, that village got the plague because you walked through it and the sulfur you spread supernaturally brought illness and bad luck. No, its not your fault in particular. No, you shouldn't stop going into towns and villages, its the 21st century and if they cant stop the plague by now then they were gonna die anyway"
When they inevitably get shunned by humans for their species, they have someone to come back to to let them know that that wasnt right, but its a part of what happens to people like us. Maybe some day we wont have to experience that anymore, but right now the most important thing is to not get caught, and come home to your Mama so we can give you bandaids for your knees and treat your wounds.
I'm so very invested in how the demon babies will be brought up by their parents, i hope we get more demon lore in the future </3
This turned into an essay, hope thats alright njkbhjvgchfg i have so many thoughts on them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#qsmp#asks#q!badboyhalo#q!mouse#q!ironmouse#q!tina#qsmp pomme#pomme the egg#qsmp dapper#dapper the egg#qsmp empanada#empanada the egg#demon trio
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Behind the Seams: Part IV
{ Behind the Seams: Part III | Part III: Edgestitch | Series Masterlist }
Welcome to the second instalment of Behind the Seams! For those new to the series, this is a behind-the-scenes deep dive that I post in between chapters for those who are interested in taking a peek at my writing process (mainly because I update so slowly lol). There are spoilers for Edgestitch below the cut, so if you're not caught up, I suggest you come back when you are!
Current status: 3.6k unfinished rough draft
Initial thoughts: The last chapter laid down a few anchor points that I hope will carry the story forward for the next 2 to 3 parts. I still don't have an overarching plan for this series, and there is no 'plot' to speak of other than the unfolding of the relationship between Joel and Pin, and I'm good with that!
After the excitement of the last chapter, it took me a while to get back into the Seams mindset. While we resolved a tiny bit of the sexual tension last chapter, there is still a lot to unpack between these two. The camera is zooming in for this chapter, where we throw Joel and Pin together again, but in a less accident-prone manner as they take things into their own hands rather than leave it up to chance.
The challenge: One word - intimacy. On both their parts.
As Pin alluded to in the last chapter, it's been a long time anyone has even kissed her, let alone anything else. There will be some action in this chapter - I haven't decided to which degree yet - but I want to do it in a way that is sensitive to her history (even though I will leave it vague).
As for Joel, it's also one word - Tess. My Google doc right now cuts off at the beginning of the intimate scene, because I haven't figured out what he's thinking just yet in relation to her. As much as he's falling for Pin, I imagine he might be confused, guilty, probably in denial about his grief. I don't want Seams to get too heavy, and I might not be exploring these themes in Part IV just yet, but these are themes that I'm looking to explore in some way in the series.
Ellie: I was so bowled over by everyone's reaction to Ellie in the last chapter! That really gave me such a confidence boost, and I'm so happy to say that our favourite gremlin is making more of a cameo this chapter. She's great comedic relief while bringing out the dad side of Joel that I just love dipping into.
Joel: Many of you have brought up you're enjoying Joel's thoughts about Jackson and Sarah, and you don't understand how much it means to me. Getting into Joel's head has been one of my favourite things about this series, especially with him trying to figure out how to exist in this place after 20 years of just surviving. Ellie allowing himself to get back in touch with his dad side is another angle that I love delving into. The instincts have never left him, and I'm having so much fun bringing out that side of him.
Something fun: As I teased right here, the white undervest will make a return, and yes, Joel will be sweaty AF in it - I wonder why 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you for reading if you've made it this far! As with the last chapter, it helps so much putting my thought process into words, to make space in my head so that I can push forward with the writing. Thank you for indulging me, I hope you enjoyed this one ❤️ I'm always open to chatting, so don't be shy!
#behind the seams#fuckyeahseams#seams iv#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x fem!reader
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Part of me kinda wants to stop DMing my first and current campaign? IDK just need to vent
So, brief expo.
like many, got into CR during the pandemic (mainly due to "The Legend of Vox Machina" which lead to me actually bingeing the all 3 campaigns)
During which time a friend (who was in my immediate friend group but like the rest of my friend group, i didnt really feel close to) told me that he was really into CR as well.
As a fresh new critter, i was stoked. Was able to share my blossoming love of CR with someone (FINALLY!) during which we both mentioned how D&D looked so much fun and that it would be really great to be able to play and ooo what if we got our friends together and played.
After which we discussed, if we did, who would be DM? Seeing as how none of our friends really played D&D our talk lead to either my friend or me and after asking the question "Which do you think you would prefer more?" It was clear i would try my hand at DMing (i like lore in games, and i like storytelling, and im a tad bit of a control freak at times, lol)
Anyway, we eventually got in touch with our close knit of friends, and though i intended to be a standard 6 we suddenly had an 8 party party (and that was with me having to tell even less close friends there wasnt room).
Feeling it would still be manageable (as there was precedent that i could pull inspo from, CR) i began planning a rough idea of a campaign and working with my friends to create their characters and running a session 0 so we were all on the same page. You know standard stuff.
-Fast Forward to current date and time-
It has its stressful moments, but i still am able to enjoy the time with my friends for the most part (though theres a lot of times were ive never felt lonelier)
Which brings me to the whole point of the post, my need to vent to the void about this loneliness.
Nobody really gets in touch or interacts with me at all. Not to talk about the campaign or even collab on their characters. The most i get are occasional critiques about how i could have done something better couple sessions prior and request to add another person to the 8 person party. When we have sessions, people show up late quite often, leave early quite often, have to cancel as they have other things they are doing (even though we planned and scheduled weeks prior) and even when people are there they somtimes feel like they arent always present.
i already feel extremely distant from all of them as they all live closer to each other while i live on the totally opposite side of the state and theyve known each other way longer than i have, but the minimal interactions they have with me, the DM/GM of all people, just continues to add to all of it
I know we all are busy with our lives, and that compared to those things D&D is really not that big of a deal or important. And i get that, it is just a game afterall, but it still manages to hit pretty hard
I've communicated my feelings through our time of this campaign, if im being honest, maybe not this indepth. I mean, its partially because i barely see or talk to them (again life gets in the way) but also because i feel extremely guilty for putting this kind of tension to something we are all supposed to be enjoying and relaxing to.
Its especially painful as most recently 2 players, who said they would get in touch with me about changes possibly being being made to their characters, never got in touch in anyway shape or form, and its been about a month now? And session is in a week...i didnt even get much as a reply back.
Idk, its been almost about a year now and i felt i just needed to get this out somewhere other than debating myself.
Thanks for listening tumblr.
#D&D#Dungeons and Dragons#venting#vent post#its just a game it really isnt a big deal#feels pretty lonely though#not what i was hoping for
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How about a nature theme?
🌹🥀🌱🍃🌵🌴🪺🏔️🌊🌬️⚡🌧️☀️🌕💫
thankyouuuu im going with more of a fantasy thing for this one since i feel like the last few ive posted all look the same (you can tell i was grasping for straws with some of these forgive me😭😭😭) some stuffing, some inflation/expansion/bloating
🌹 Your character eats a tasty plant known for being particularly filling. They don't feel all that full until they find out where it gets its reputation: it blooms inside the stomach, filling them to the brim with large, hearty blossoms. Their burps probably smell pretty sweet.
🥀 Your character is feeling wilted after accidentally eating something that's been enchanted to drain energy. The best way to rejuvenate themself in this situation is with plenty of food and drink, even if they're already full from whatever they ate.
🌱 Your character is a plant person. They aren't nearly as big as their fellow plants, and they're doing everything they can to grow themself bigger--extra sunlight, lots of water, the works. Maybe it'll work eventually, but for right now all they have to show for their effort is an extremely bloated tummy.
🍃 Your character adds a new fast-growing plant to their garden, hoping for some quick and plentiful produce. What they didn't realize is just how quickly it grows. Before their very eyes, the sweet, crunchy leaves begin to spring up and overtake their garden. There's no time to get help; the only thing they can do is try to eat it faster than it can grow. Can they get it under control before they run out of tummy space?
🌵 After eating far too much, your character is feeling sore and sick and desperately wants a tummy rub. Sadly, they're covered in prickly scales, and their tummy is far too rough for most hands. Can anybody help them? Maybe some protective gloves would be useful.
🌴 Your character is a little woodland critter who lives in a hole in a tree. Their home inside the trunk is comfortably roomy, but the entrance is a pretty tight squeeze. It wouldn't take too much to bloat their tummy up enough to make it hard to get through, or even to get them stuck.
🪺 Your character is some sort of sneaky little egg-stealing freak, and they happen upon a nice full nest. One or two eggs would easily fill them up, but they can't carry the rest with them and they're unwilling to leave them behind, so they quickly cram the rest into their belly as well. Hopefully they're not too stuffed to scurry off before whatever laid those eggs returns.
🏔️ Your character is hiking up a mountain, and they stumble across some berry bushes. They're easy to identify as safe; these berries have pretty much no lookalikes…except for a very similar-looking berry that expands dramatically in dark, damp environments, making themselves a hazard to anybody careless enough to eat too many.
🌊 Your character is a deep-sea mermaid. They occasionally visit their friends who live closer to the surface, and any time they do, the change in pressure makes their belly bloat terribly. Hopefully their shallow water friends have something to soothe their tummy, otherwise it's going to be a very uncomfortable visit.
🌬️ Your character is a winged creature, perhaps a fairy or a harpy, flying against strong wind. They make the mistake of opening their mouth for a moment and are promptly filled up with a rush of air.
⚡ Your character has some sort of lightning powers that build up if they aren't released frequently enough. If they find themself somewhere where it isn't safe to blow off some electrical steam, their belly could become very uncomfortably bloated.
🌧️ Your character is at a cafe in the sky, trying a cloud for the first time. They're warned to take it slow, but they accidentally suck up the whole cloud in one slurp, leaving their belly incredibly bloated, at least until all the vapor in their stomach condenses back into water.
☀️ Your character is a creature with an exceptionally high body temperature. They don't need water to survive, and it isn't really found where they're from, so they've never had it before. The first time they drink water, they discover that it boils inside their stomach, rapidly filling them up with steam.
🌕 Your character visits the moon and discovers that the rumors are true: it's made of cheese (continuously regenerating cheese, too!). The place is filled with expansive cheese shops and restaurants specializing in cheesy foods. By the time your character is ready to come back from their trip, their belly is feeling very weighed down by all the tasty cosmic cheese they've eaten.
💫 Your character is visiting an intergalactic rest stop, and they have a buffet there. There are foods from all sorts of different planets, many of which your character has never seen before, and, being curious, they're eager to try a little bit of everything. They'll be stuffed enough from the quantity of food; hopefully none of the strange and unfamiliar foods upset their belly.
#prompts#belly kink#tummy kink#stuffing#stuffed belly#inflation kink#inflated belly#belly expansion#stomachache kink#belly#bellyache#inflating#my post
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20 Questions For Writers
This was sitting on my notifs for a few days and i finally took the time to do it. Thank my darling @takadasaiko for the tag!! 💕💕
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
I have 88 works in total, 31 of which are for Star Wars.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
574,873 words.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently, I'm only writing for Star Wars. But I used to write for Arrow and Supergirl, and ASoIAF, Dark-Hunters and Chronicles of Nick are in standby. I'm waiting for right motivation to come back to any of the last 3.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
I'm only talking about Star Wars fics here...
Kadala (The Mandalorian) [and 4th place in most kudos of all my works]
Rough Awakening (The Bad Batch) [and 5th place in most kudos of all my works]
Welcome to Yavin IV (Rebels)
An Explosive Situation (Rebels)
Rescue on Ryloth (The Bad Batch)
And the the rest of my all-time fics with most kudos are
Take Your Breath Away (Arrow)
Undisclosed Desires (Arrow)
Made For You (ASoIaF/Game of Thrones)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try my best, but sometimes I forget, and then it's been weeks and months since I got the comments that I'm embarrassed to reply them after so long. Even though, I think it's important that a writer let the reader/commenter that they appreciate it, even if it's with a simple "thank you" or an emoji. I know I'm being a hypocrite here since I fail to do what I preach, but it doesn't make it less true.
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I think that would be Drifting, because it's kind of open ending, left to be interpreted, so it could end however the reader wants. Although, I left an author's note at the end saying what's my preferred ending, which always will be inclined to the happy side.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
High Above the Ground because is the happy ending i want for Commander Fox and Riyo Chuchi. They deserve only the best!
8. Do you get hate on your fic?
No, not really. I've gotten only 1 stupid message of someone criticizing a fic, but that was years ago when I still posted on FF dot net. The joke was on the reader because I moderated all the comments there so I just deleted it and nobody saw it but me. Honestly, I just laughed about it cuz their argument was just stupid.
9. Do you write smut?
I do, all kinds -from the most tame thing to the most perverted. But I used to wrote way more in my old fandoms, especially for Arrow. I think for Star Wars I've written just 1 or 2 smutty fics, and tamed at that.
10. Do you write crossovers?
I've tried a couple of occasions but never finished them. I'm not opposed to them obviously, but I do think the combination of fandoms has to be just right to work. Or at least, when it's me doing the writing.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yes! Many, many years ago in the first fandom I ever wrote for. It was awful and hated it! You see, this was in the stone age of the internet when fandom specific sites abounded and not everyone had an account on FFnet yet (and Ao3 was not even a dream). The site I published on was split in 2 sections because the ships war in the fandom was bloody and ruthless, so to avoid the slaughter, I kept myself in my preferred side. But one day, a friend who read fic on both sides told me that someone stole my fics. Avoiding to get caught, the person who did it published them under a pen name that was almost exact to mine, she only added a period at the end, which could easily go unnoticed. Oh, and she interchanged characters names so it'd fit the other ship.
At first, my friend thought I had posted them but she knew I'd never write for that ship, like ever. In the end, it turned out that I wasn't the only one who had being plagiarized. Several people ON BOTH SIDES were. Thankfully, the person was caught and banned, but we almost burned the site down because of the whole shitshow.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
By me, yes, several. All into Spanish (my mother tongue). By others, not that I know of.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
Yes! A couple of times for different fandoms, and I loved it. I hope I'll do it again. The thing is that you need to find the right partner for it, or it can be a nightmare.
14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?
I don't appreciate this question, let me tell you. It's hard to choose. But I think I have to go with Olicity. I love them still (even if the show ending ruined it for me). Close second would be Braime (and I'm glad that there's still hope for them on the books, because as usual the show fucked them so but sooooo bad)
And as Star Wars specific, I don't think anyone will be surprised if I say it's Kalluzeb, right 🤣 They're my babies and I adore them!
15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Anything for Arrow or Supergirl. I sworn off those fandoms after their respectively awful endings.
No promises, but there's still hope for all if my unfinished works for Star Wars 😅
16. What’s your writing strengths?
Coming up with ideas. So, so many ideas. All the time and I want to write them all.
17. What’s your writing weaknesses?
Finishing writing the above-mentioned ideas. I tend to splay myself too much when I'm writing, and it takes me forever to get to the portion I really want to write (usually the idea that sparked the whole writing process) and I lose steam. That's why I have so many unfinished WIPs. I wish they'd write themselves.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
It's ok if used sparingly. A word here, a phrase over there is fine, but if a wall of dialogue that the reader needs to scroll down to the notes or click on a tooltip to find out the meaning it's the worst!!! A better solution for a writer that really needs/wants to have a whole conversation in another language for plot reasons or whatever, then all they need to do is to say once that the characters are talking in the other language and put the dialogue in the same language they've been writing the rest of the narrative and in italic.
The characters who don't speak the language won't understand what's being said, but the reader will and their reading will be more pleasant and fluid.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
An Argentinian show called Floricienta. A modern retelling of Cinderella.
20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?
I don't like this question either! All my fics are my babies! How do you want me to choose?!! There are so many I'm proud of. I guess I'll point the most recent one: Feed Me Poison, Fill me till I Drown I really like how this story is coming along. It's not done yet (what else is new? 😅) but what's coming is so so good!
Tagging (no pressure): @renee561 @thecoffeelorian @genericficerblog @airlockfailure @mistr3ssquickly @insertmeaningfulusername @fanfictasia
#20 asks for writers#ask game#the mandalorian#the bad batch#sw rebels#kalluzeb#braime#foxiyo#mare writes star wars#and other things#olicity#long post
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I have a question for you if you wouldn’t mind answering. I’m a lesbian and I’ve been considering turning to religion and being side b, but my main question is why would God want me to suffer this much? Why would He let me date my girlfriend for 3 years, all of which has been blissfully happy and feels totally right and good, if He really wants me to give it all up and break both of our hearts? It doesn’t feel like sin to me. We didn’t even sleep with each other until we’d been together for a year because I found it very hard to get over my shame and they waited for me the entire time. Isn’t there that verse about the fruit something brings? Being a lesbian has brought nothing but joy into my life. In fact, the only suffering it’s caused me is when I used to try to be side b. I don’t see why God would want that for me if He allowed me to be made a lesbian.
And to be honest, it seems like most of the side b people I know struggle a lot with being side b, like it doesn’t come naturally to them. I wonder how you reconcile that difficulty and pain with believing that a good God would want this for you. You could make the argument that Satan wants you to suffer and is causing your temptation, but if that’s the case why doesn’t God just fix it, if He’s all powerful? Maybe He wants me to have free will, but I’ve asked Him countless times to make me straight so it’s not like I want to be gay.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. I just find this sort of thing really hard to wrap my head around, but I want there to be a good answer that I can hold on to.
Hey friend!
To be honest I do understand where you're coming from. My relationship with my ex was one of the most wonderful things ive ever felt, and it did feel right and very good, unlike a lot of the sin in my life. Even now I struggle sometimes to reconcile that and I know if things hadn't ended so badly I'd be in your situation right now. I also prayed many times that God would make me straight (and for a while I thought it worked lmao).
For a long time after The Breakup I struggled really hard with what to do, i was struggling with lesbian erotica/fandom content, wondering what to do with my faith, wondering if I should force myself to marry a man, crying out to God to curse Him or blame Him for my situation, for taking her away from me, etc. I fell into a very deep depression and was very close to unaliving myself over it (and other things). I had to go on medication for an extended period of time because I did not want to live. It was a really rough time in my life and I'm glad despite all the things that I said and did out of grief that I made it out of that period of my life with my relationship to God in tact.
Letting go of sin, particularly sexuality related sin can be really hard because sin doesn't always feel bad. A lot of sin does and has immediate consequences, which makes it particularly easy to avoid/stop doing but a lot of it doesn't. We live in a world where sin has permeated the deepest reaches of our universe and our own bodies. Our own judgement apart from Christ cannot always be trusted:
"The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9
So it might not feel bad or wrong(it still doesn't feel that way to me personally), but we know God is objectively good and knows what is best, so if He says its bad, then its bad. There are reasons for this, but that's beyond the scope of this post so maybe another time.
What I will also say though, is that the Christian life is hard in general and suffering is guaranteed. The apostles suffered--many of them endured gruesome deaths for the sake of the gospel, and even Jesus, the author and sustainer of our faith was abandoned by his friends and made to unjustly die on a cross with common criminals. If the son of God, the prince of peace, could not escape this fate then neither will we. This particular passage comes to mind:
"But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps" 1 Peter 2
The thing about Christian suffering is that none of it is meaningless. Because of God's grace and mercy He can use something that was never meant to exist (suffering and pain) and use it to bring us closer to Him and help build us into the people we should be, emulating God's character and love. These are some verses about suffering in regards to faith that I've found particularly helpful or enlightening:
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" 2 Cor 4:16-18
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" James 1:2-4
And as Christians we know for sure our suffering is not eternal. When we shed this mortal coil we will never feel the sting of sin ever again. And when the New heavens and the New earth are brought to fruition we will experience life as it always was supposed to be.
And even now my life isn't just suffering. I'm doing very well now. I'm no longer depressed, I'm off medication (with doctor approval). I genuinely love my life. I'm super satisfied with being single, i freaking love it honestly lol. And my relationship with God is stronger than its ever been. Being side b isn't always easy but it really is not a death sentence devoid of happiness either!
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THE STORY OF THE 85 LOGO 🏍️
Since Yibo was spotted on the race track, the conversation around the logo is picking up again. This has been discussed so many times before & in bits and pieces but I want to give it a go and make my own version of it’s history. It’s a mix of the logo itself as well as the cpn speculation surrounding it’s origin. I’m not gonna talk about other related designer zz candies, this is only for the logo.
I used this video by R背靠大树好乘凉W as a guide on the timeline but i did my own fact checking and added a lot more points especially with Parts II-IV of this post.
I. THE ORIGIN
11/10/2018, Yamaha Racing Team weibo account posts the first look of the 85 logo. At this point, everyone already knew who this is supposed to be. It’s also cute how the time it was posted had the timestamp “28” which is Ai Bo, another clue.
“ driver number 85 is coming soon! “
1/19/2019, The same account officially shared that Yibo will be joining the MLT YAMAHA team for 2019 and Tracer 85 was born. Yibo also reposted this and replied with :
Happy New Year to all! ! ! ! ! racing career has begun! ! ! ! ☺️☺️☺️Please call me driver Wang Yibo! ! ! ! ～～～～～
1/29/2019, the draft for Yibo’s Tracer 85 racing suit was released by the weibo account. It prominently features “85”.
Now a key player in this whole designing mystery is DAINESE a company that describes themselves as: Dedicated to producing the most effective safety solutions in every arena where athletes continually push the human body and mind to surpass their prior achievements. From our motorcycle racing origins to alpine skiing, mountain biking, competitive sailing and outer space. So they posted about the racing suit itself as well as the helmet. Again, both things featured the 85 logo, along with other symbols that is an entirely different cpn on it’s own.
It’s so obvious that a professional company will make this for WYB. Even if we CPN that the logo was made by XZ, or even a rough sketch of it and passed on to Yibo, down to this company’s team to refine. There is just no way that XZ will write his name down as the owner of it, if we didn’t have that BTS video of their conversation about it then we won’t have a confirmation. Even if we have that video, there is still the probability that XZ didn’t follow through.
Then someone asked the company itself about the origin of the logo and they said WYB brought it himself.
The logo of No. 85 is not designed by us, it is brought by Yibo himself
Thank you for your support
If you look at the original post for the racing suit, the comments are all wf being so prissy about who designed it. I know that this post is supposedly about the 85 logo but the suit is a huge part of that. Also I think it’s about time to clear up the fact that cpfs are not trying to discredit anyone who made WYB’s gear. Why can’t we just be happy that he has a cool moto suit with the 85 on it? We are. We really are. It’s just that analyzing the elements within it is something that CPFs love to do. Not even for the relationship part of it but just to understand him better. The thing is, I don’t look at it and think only about how “handsome” yibo is. I also wanna know what it means. The details. This is something that represents him as a racer so I will naturally be curious about what’s on it. Not to say that so/os are shallow or anything, It’s just that we are two different kinds of fans. Our brains don’t work the same way. That’s fine. I wish people will one day accept that we all approach fandom in different ways. If you don’t like something— then ignore it.
So the conclusion here is, 85 was not an idea/logo made by the company DAINESE. Yes, they produced the gear and finalized everything. They were hired by YAMAHA to do so. However the one who drew that logo on a piece of paper is unknown.
Our best guess is Xiao Zhan. 🫶🏼
II. IMPORTANCE OF 85 TO YIBO
85 represents Yibo’s birthday, August 5. But it’s really became his “identity” when Tracer 85 was born. Even if he wasn’t racing, this number became a recurring theme & design with his endorsements. For example when he did a collab with Miniso, the goods had 85 on them.
He has moved to the “Panther” more recently but 85 and 0805 is still very much a Yibo’s thing. There are even endorsements that have 85 on the price they sell his items for ( example is Richora ).
So using 85 is not a spur of the moment thing and goes beyond his racing career.
III. OTHER SIGHTINGS ( of the logo )
Aside from the race track, the most important way the logo was incorporated was through merchandise. Whether it’s the custom phone case that only Yibo has —
or the infamous 85 cap which was repped by yinzheng. the sus part here is yibo commenting, only acknowledging the post but then yz had to reply back with : lemons grow on lemon trees, under the lemon tree there’s me. which means he is jealous and then yibo had to reply back with a series of emojis that makes things more suspicious.
sure, yinzheng can mean that he is jealous of the merch. that yibo has his own now and that the whole tracer 85 now goes beyond being a racer. but the cpf explanation to this is that he is jealous that wyb has someone that made this amazing logo for him too. it's really so cool to have your own designer at home.
a fan favorite would be this cap, released by Day Day Up in their WYB goods line back in 2020. What’s interesting is, the number of pieces available for it’s initial presale was 1005. LOL. 1005 is October 5, of course, XZ’s birthday. I think the number of pieces for a presale though not entirely up to yibo, may still be influenced by him. It could easily be 8500 pieces just to be meta but no. Why 1005? Is it a nod to the guy who made the 85 design? Plus if this logo was owned by Yamaha or Dainese, then why was it allowed to be used commercial by a completely different entity. Our answer is that it’s Yibo.
It’s curious that the cap received this special treatment, because out of all the merch sold in that line, it is the one that had the 85 logo in it’s original form. The rest had their own iteration of 85 but the cap is the closest to the “logo”. This is why a lot of fans, and CPFs specifically wanted to get it.
My favorite memory from when this line came out was the loud speculation about the logo and it’s connection to XZ. There were even talks of 🍤 buying something cause if XZ is the designer, then it’s also a XZ merch. This is the same year when 🍤 was going around SDC3 filming cause XZ was supposedly there. So yeah. This cannot be confirmed and no shrimp will ever admit but it was definitely a rumor going around that time. Looking back, that CPN was beneficial ( in a way ) to shrimps because it casts XZ in a good light. They know XZ’s capability so they can sort of agree to it. Not that we need so/o fans validating our opinions/speculations, but it’s a possible explanation to their reaction. Compared to motos who were angry with the association and insulted XZ. Implying that he isn’t capable, they can say that cause they don’t know XZ.
IV. Connection to Xiao Zhan “the designer” and candies
Turtles pointing to XZ as the designer is not only rooted in CPN, but the fact that making logos was his previous job. Even before the leaked video, it made sense to the community because after all, this is what XZ is good at. He’d done it for years in school and as a professional. There were photos of his previous work that leaked and he also talked about logo-making when he visited the bilibili office. Where he shared how frustrating it was to work with clients. More recently, in one his vlogs, we could see him explaining his thoughts on a visual logo for XZ Studio.
youtube
( video is about xz the designer, mostly talking about it during xfire / xnine days )
So his capability, closeness & familiarity with WYB at the time of the logo’s conception is key. CPFs are very familiar with how XZ makes art and logos for himself so to us it’s a rational speculation to think XZ had some influence on this.
There is another talk about Yuehua being the one who made it. They do have people who can make those right? However it was pointed out that with how they make logos for their other artists, it’s unlikely. They did claim the rights to the Panther, but the identity of the artist was left blank on the application. No one ever did claim ownership of this Logo or the Panther in public. Why wouldn’t they? It’s free promotion.
CPN Clues:
• 85 read as 28. Ai Bo + the Z.
• The Z is really my favorite clue 🥺🥺🥺🥺
• How it looks very similar to the M skateboarding logo. Which can also look like a 85.
• Some other explanation on what the 85 could mean. It’s XZ’s style to have hidden meanings aside from what you actually see.
• The minimalist design that screams XZ.
The 85 logo talk and cpn have really been in full swing when EVISU released those photos and I hope BXGs ( especially big accounts on the bird app and beyond ) will rein it in with the Xiao Zhan association. We already know how hostile the environment is so it’s best to not use his full name. It’s actually a common CPF way of doing things, not using their full names in our posts. As excited as we all were, the whole point was that tracer 85 is back, not the CPN. I know it’s tricky to find a balance with how our brains are wired, but you will learn. It should always be them as individuals first.
85 logo and all other “designer GG” is one of those CPN that is very popular and widely circulated in the bxg community — and with good reason. However, it is in no way to take away 85 from Yibo. It’s him. It is his brand and it will always be his.
This is one in a couple of “yizhan mysteries” out there that keeps the BXG flame alive 🔥. These (alleged) silent collaboration/s between them are so great because it shows how well they work together as a team.
-END.
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I found this in my drafts after posting the other one!
Hi! This is the exact moment where I was convinced. I was convinced that this needed to happen. Obi was my favorite character after Shirayuki. This was the moment I put two and two together. And ever since, I've wanted a very specific plot line to play out. Obviously, I try to read through every fic on AO3 and here. There are so many brilliant authors and artists and other creatives that make this fandom a joy to return to. They all live rent free in my head.
Ive tried and failed to put down my thoughts in words. I am not a writer. But here is a snippet of a song fic (?) I had in my head for the longest time. It won't leave me alone. If there is something similar out there please please tell me where ;-;
Can't keep my hands to myself- Selena Gomez
Can't keep my hands to myself
Shirayuki had a problem. At first, she didn't think nothing of it. They are best friends and they spend so much time together. They work so well together and they can communicate without a word. Of course some of that communication would be through touch. A brush of a hand here, a touch to his strong shoulder there, and her hand wrapped around a wrist. She never noticed it was different from when she worked with Ryuu or with Suzu or even Mitsuhide. Until she did.
They had been working for two weeks to pull this garden together. She wiped her brow as she walked over to where Obi worked. She admired his form as he moved wood poles to where they need to be and then returned back to his task with the plants. She placed her hand on his shoulder as she leaned over him to peer at his work in harvesting the herb in his section. His muscles tensed as she let her palm run down his arm.
No matter how much I'm trying to
Her palm tingled as he pulled her through the market place in search of the stall that Suzu raved about last night. She couldn't help that her mind went straight to how strong his hands were and how rough his callouses felt on her skin. She tried not to think about how he gently tugs her along to speed her past groups of people. She tried not to think about how his hands would feel on her skin and how her hands would feel on his skin... Shirayuki barely misses crashing into a patron at the tea stall. She takes a steadying breath and focuses on her path following Obi.
I want you all to myself
As Shirayuki stood up and wiped her brow she wondered if Obi regretted suggesting they stop to rest in this town. She couldn't help it, she saw a garden in disrepair and knew it would help the town to have a community space. It just needed a little love. She looked over at Obi and saw him bent over a pile of wood looking for strong pieces for the outer fence. She admired his lean frame as he stood up with his prize. That's when she noticed his fan club had gathered nearby. She frowned and grumbled at the group of girls waiting to give him water or a rag to wipe his sweat. One of the more daring ones was gushing about how strong he was to be able to pick up those heavy planks of wood. Shirayuki didn't miss how she hung off his arm. Obi for his part was eating it up. She had enough when the girl giggled at him and ran her hand up his arm. She marched over to them and put her hands on his shoulder to focus him back to the task at hand. She asked him to help her with the wheel barrow. She grinned as he followed her without hesitation. She glanced over her shoulder at the pouting fan club. For good measure, she made to fuss over him about taking care of his hands and watching out for his shoulder. She rubbed his hands while glancing at his eyes just so. When she saw his blush she felt warm all over. They continued to work together using the wheelbarrow to spread the soil in the garden. She helped him use his planks to patch the fence. They worked into the early evening and neither of them noticing that they were alone. Glances and hands brushing past each other were the only things on their mind.
Thants all I got! Thank you for reading!
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more superhero cadina au
this time its regina, once again it gets long, but this time because I got distracted while researching sharks and decided to add so many shark facts
⚠️spoilers for mean girls as always⚠️
I feel like vampire regina has been done a lot and I wanted to try something different so after throwing some stuff around with my friend, we've come to the conclusion of: siren!regina.
I wanted her to have an influential power over people like she does in canon, but, like I said, I didn't want to make her a vampire. this also removes the immortality problem.
general regina superhero cadina au details:
so, regina is a siren from a family of sirens on her dads side, Kylie exists in this au and is also a siren, her mother is not a siren(clearly). she has the classic hypnotizing siren voice, shriek, water breathing, human/mermaid physiology(especially when she touches water, so like she has internal fish stuff all the time but when she wants to have external fish stuff/touches water she can get it h2o style), and manipulation of water
in her h2o mermaid form, Reginas fishform is shark. shark regina. because of apex predator and also because I like sharks and I wants regina to have electroreceptors which sharks do have but we can leave that for a different essay/post
false actually, I cannot keep my mouth shut when ive learned new things and as I said above, I spent an entire afternoon researching sharks. I know that the point of her powers in this au is that she's a siren, but part of that is the whole mermaid physiology bit, so hear we go: ive decided regina would be a bull shark because I realized that if she was a shark, she would need to be near saltwater so she wouldn't fucking die UNLESS her shark part was euryhaline, which bull sharks are, and they've actually been spotted as far as Illinois when going up the Mississippi.
bite force of 5,914 newtons, jaws aren't attached to the cranium so imagine the shenanigans regina pulls to freak people out by moving her jaw in weird ass ways and snatching food without moving her head. sharks have multiple rows of teeth and regularly shed and replace their teeth with no rhyme or reason, so regina will randomly lose teeth with the new ones just immediately popping right up behind it, sometimes she spit them at people who annoy her(Gretchen secretly collects them). her scales reduce drag when swimming so when rubbed the wrong way they're extremely rough so she can literally rub people the wrong way. shark siren form regina is 13ft long. less fun, when food is scarce, sharks can slow their digestion, regina would do this when her mother makes comments about her body. bull sharks are more likely to bite humans than most sharks. extremely good sense of smell, like some sharks can smell one part per million of blood in water and they can determine the direction of a smell the way we can with sound and they're more attracted to the chemicals in the intestines of many species and shark hearing is extremely sharp and they can hear prey from miles away(their hearing sensitivity is in the range of 20 to 1000 Hz), so I can only imagine the migraines regina gets from being around teenagers,
night vision, nictating membrane, sharks have the greatest electrical sensitivity of any animal as they have electroreceptor organs numbering in the thousands that allow them to sense the electromagnetic field of their prey as well as orient and navigate using the magnetic field of the earth and the ocean currents moving within it and creating electrical fields, lateral line tactile sensory system allows sharks to detect changes in water speed and pressure nearby and frequencies in the range of 25 to 50 Hz and lets them distinguish the currents around them, obstacles in their periphery, and struggling prey out of view.
im not sure how some of those would help regina, maybe they help her rule the school, they'd definitely help in superhero situations, but they'd definitely end up with her being hella overstimulated at school and might be why she's so frustrated with people all the time. I get that. anyway, sharks that need to continuously swim in order to breathe do something called sleep swimming, in order for them to actually get some sleep, its their spinal cord that controls the action, not their brain, seeing as regina would be able to breathe like a human and not need to constantly move she wouldn't need to do this, but I think she would have this habit of sleep walking and sometimes she does end up in the pool and sleep swims.
while she's not proud of it because it was prompted by her mothers comments, regina has used her siren powers to curate her popularity at school but no one knows she's a siren so they dont realize that
recurring h2o jokes with regina getting pelted with water and running off screaming "DONT LOOK AT ME" while you hear the h2o theme play faintly in the distance along with a splash will happen be warned. like. the homecoming scene where she gets the water sprayed on her is the same, she does the hair flip and everything and then. realizes. so she runs off screaming DONT LOOK AT ME and in the distance you can hear the h2o theme playing faintly
Regina's "janitor caught cady with a mouse in her mouth" was back in middle school, she, janis, Gretchen, and Karen went to the aquarium and she got distracted at one tank because she was listening to fish gossip and then later they went to the dolphin show and regina had to be forcibly removed from the premises after she started picking a fight with one of the dolphins(it called her 3 different slurs and insulted her clothing) and is no longer allowed at the Chicago aquarium. luckily her mother has a friend that was able to keep, "middle schooler has mad beef with dolphin," out of the headlines.
is regina a superhero herself before cady shows up in Evanston? yes actually. I did think about making her a villain but I want to have faith in regina having even a a molecule of a soul before cady shows up, she does have a younger sister after all and how can regina not have a soul when even my older sister does? just usual sisters giving each other, shit you know, I love her tho 🫶
I may have just written miraculous ladybug minus the bullshit love triangle, so um, there's that... but it's a superHERO cadina au and I wanted them to both be heroes.
Reginas dad runs some shady shit, ive yet to figure out exactly what it is, but the point is it's shady enough that even regina takes issue with it and decides to do something about it(little does she know, her dad is not directly involved in what happened to cadys dad but he has connections and that's how cady eventually gets involved with regina). so she adopts the hero persona of shark girl, it was gonna be a placeholder until I came up with the lore that she was inspired by the classic movie shark boy and lava girl, so as shark girl she fucks with her dads criminal shit and if she's extra pissed off, she will beat people within an inch of their life because she's not a saint. she focuses mainly on her dads business, feels guilty when she watches the news and sees things she could've easily stopped and maybe she helps where she can if she has time but she doesn't make a habit of it, not til cady comes around.
this got extremely long because of the shark facts, which I hope you enjoyed, so um, have some all over the place hcs as a reward for making it this far, even though these make it even longer
because sharks are hunted not only for their fins and meat, but also for the oil in their livers(not exactly a fun fact, but a true one nonetheless), I think regina would joke about just how much her liver would go for on the black market
regina has tried to break back into the aquarium to kill that dolphin, she had the sense to do it with her shark girl suit on so the "shark girl has major beef with Chicago aquarium dolphin" headline did make it to print this time
bull sharks will also hunt birds and terrestrial animals they can get too, as they are opportunistic feeders, so I can see cady and regina going after birds and small animals together while their friends regret not bringing leashes
regina tells cady she's a siren by asking, "would you still love me if I was a fish?" on a random Tuesday morning
I just know that bitch reenacts little mermaid any chance she gets
if you read this far, thank you for indulging all of. this. you've probably just learned more about sharks than you ever thought you would. and I did this for fun. anyway, so these posts were just to get the basic details of their powers out there, the next post should be getting into where the actual canon starts. keep reading, dont, either way, I will be writing more of this and I think the spidey au will be separate from this one. goodnight, y'all
#mean girls#mean girls 2024#cadina#superhero cadina#regina george#siren!regina#it got long again#mostly because of all the shark facts#so many shark facts#all of the shark facts
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WIP its-not-Wednesday-but-close-enough
tagged by @autistic-sidestep! thank you for the tag :D i have,,, so many wips rn. pulp stop starting a million projects challenge. all of these are very rough, and a lot of them feature other steps, but i wanted to share a few :]
for writing, ive got these:
“What the hell, man!” Mitchel hisses. He’s let go, but he hasn’t bothered lowering his voice. Too loud, but real. Caine groans, pulling themselves up from the mattress. At least it wasn’t the floor– this could’ve hurt a lot worse. They wince at the throb in their shoulder as they reach for the wall, probing for a light switch. When he flicks it on reality re-establishes itself once more.
It’s Caine’s room, familiarly bare-bones. There’s only a singular twin sized bed in one corner of the room and a desk just across, with a heap of laundry they haven’t bothered to do taking up the chair. Mitchel stands on the mattress in the middle, both parts pissed and bleary eyed. His cheek is a lightish colour that’s a telltale sign it’s going to bruise, and a portion of his blanket stubbornly clings onto his shoulder. There’s no threat in here, or at least nothing more threatening than Mitchel annoyed. The knowledge doesn’t stop the blood pounding in their ears.
-caine wakes up and gets jumpscared by @hyper-pixels mitchel. they react to this calmly.
Marshal Steel has hair stuck in his finger joints. That's the first thing Daniel noticed when he came in to work this morning. Steel has his civilian hands on, which is normal when he has admin work. Those civilian hands will usually have hair in it too, mostly from Spoon. That's also normal. What's not normal is the colour; because instead of the odd tufts of grey fur Daniel's used to seeing scattering Steel's joints, this is a single, longer strand that he's sure wasn't left on purpose. Because the hair strand is brown. Suspiciously similar to Ortega's own brown hair.
-herald is suspicious that his boss is having another secret relationship with a pretty old man, but its none of his business! not at all. thats why hes eavesdropping on them from the breakroom pantry.
“What are you two talking about?”
Ortega jerks, nearly spilling coffee all over Wei, tearing a curse out of him as he yanks his head to the direction of the voice.
Speak of the devil. Caine glances between the two, head cocked. When did he get here? Ortega doesn't remember inviting him, and nobody told him he was coming either. Not that Ortega isn't happy to see him, but the timing…
“Dios mio, Spot, how long have you been standing there?” he mutters. He gives his coffee a once over, but nothing's spilled.
He turns back to Caine and double takes. The poor guy looks like he's just run a marathon– he's drenched in his own sweat. He's not wearing his raggedy sweater, for once. Instead, he's got a skintight suit with a simple white tee over it.
-a multi-pov fic featuring the same conversation, but told from the perspective of ortega, chen, and caine. trying to practice voices with it, and so far its been fun digging into each of them!
as for art wips:
-arde and vera based on the song "the villain i appear to be"! i actually made this today after playing the new revelations demo lmfao. i do not remember what arde looks like 😔 im so sorry ive done you a disservice
the next two have blood+mild gore in them, so im throwing them under the cut!
-cyrus gets Fucked Up by a dream version of fawn from @villainsidestep, based on this absolutely vile(/pos) soul read of him:
because why not fuck him up even more??
-mitchel painting i have yet to put down colours for that i am lovingly dubbing "cannibalism (NOT ROMANTIC)". chew it out with your teeth mitchel!!!!
ill be tagging everybody mentioned in the post, plus @idlenight, @disastersteps, and maybe @euelios if you all wanna give this a shot?
#caine is a cringefail loser that cant place the fact that he is. fucking scared of mitchel. and i love dancing around that fact in writing#herald is fighting for his Life trying to mind his own business but his gaydar is beeping incessantly at him everytime chen is in the room#theres a line in the multi pov fic that is. accidentally really sus. but i find it so funny im keeping it like that#i love vera so much yall you dont understand#no spoilers for the rev demo but something about her that gets brought up makes me want to gnash my teeth w the implications of it#think its actually really fucked up and evil of me to make fawn hold both of their brothers tenderly by their faces#during the two times ive drawn things between their brothers for this fight#pov: u are cyrus getting held by your younger sib and realizing theyre way better at protecting and loving u all than you ever will be#the last drawing was based on a line kore casually threw out there while talking about ortega being a bitch#and it made me so insane i opened medibang like. immediately. help#caine lynzal#cyrus becker(s)#nmoc: mitchel becker#nmoc: fawn becker#sidestep#ortega#chen#chentega#herald#dove#arde#fhr#pulp writes#pulp draws
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Tag at least six people (can be more than six if you want), and say at least one nice thing about or to each of them. Can be mutuals, can be people you follow, can be people you don’t know but just happen to exist in the same circle(s) with. All you gotta do is tag them and say something nice about/to them :)
Thank you @mahikamihan (the nicest and sweetest person here) for the tag! Ignore that its been a few days shhhh I was actually thinking of doing this on my priv but then this showed up so perfect opportunity :D Its a big one so everyone will be under a read more so Im not clogging the dash
@gogtopia Jules, you were the first person I followed when I was revamping my blog last year, the first person that came to mind on who I knew was safe post October. Although this was long ago, I really enjoyed the discussions we had about lore and such on discord that was a fun time. And now you're on the path of getting my into The Yard more too lol
@i-anonymous-crow Crow crow crow crow. You were the first (literally the first) people to follow me and it was all because I was crying over the Las Nevadas gift for ckarlnapity. And since then we've cried some more together. And now we're here, thank you for giving me a chance
@foolishfreckles Moss my beloved. Actually one of the chillest people I know and a really great clipper. Another person who has been here since pretty much the beginning (like when I had 20 followers) and one of my biggest supporters. If you arent already following Moss what are you doing. I also love the Foolish screenies you try to get every stream
@traidyy LUCKY!!!!!!! :D SWEETEST PERSON AND GREAT ARTIST THEIR ART IS SO CUTE. also a karl fan so thats 1000 more attractive points. But actually one of my favorite people here, wuv u Lucky <3 the dog to my cat
@sapybara INY!! Somehow you are the most rational but also the most chaos inducing person here and I love you for that. Whenever dash is all fucky and im beginning to spiral, your post are usually the ones who help pull me back up. Also your sapybara pfp is the cutest thing ever.
@vadergf REY REY! The would be drolo of my heart and the realest person when it comes to the green man. Your anons are hilarious and your art is so cute, no matter what you might say. Also thank you for supporting me like with the dteam hourly account i really appreciate it
@simplepotatofarmer Loyal! :D this is a thank you for always wanting and trying to make the fandom a better place. So many people give you the worst shit and yet you try to give second chances and show kindness. Thats something very rare to find nowadays. I love your aus like the rabbit and black dog au, and your chicken posts are some of my favorite things (all hail dream (chicken) )
@toxicsapolo Hi Salty! The og sapolo, the one who paved the way. Even though I have no idea what you and Adora are talking about with the F1 fandom, Ive admired how passionate you are when it comes to your interests. Sapnap, fashion, cooking, your boyfriend.
@tinynap JO!!! Your liveblogs never fail to make me laugh, even if half of them give you a tummy ache. I also want to say im proud of you trying your best at college, even at your roughest nights. You're gonna do great, kid
@dralbum NIICCCKKK!!! Ok not only is your art gorgeous and gives the softest feeling, you are also one of the funniest motherfuckers here. I enjoy our time on privtwt where we ask to eat each others food lmao
@faehrys ARIA MY ARIA!!! Not only an awesome editor, but also an awesome person. I appreciated how you tried to keep a positive space during the rough time, but also knowing when to stand your ground. And as always, karl enjoyer so extra cool points :>
@negativepeanuthoarder PEANUT!!! A true squirrel in which they stick around and make a home in your heart. You are always the loudest supporter in my writing and I really appreciate that, especially on the harder days
@knffuckraw ACE!!! Another funny person here and also representing the inner haikyuu fans (along with Iny). You have the greatest comebacks for anons and the funniest tags. love you ace <3
@dreamnotnapss First, a thank you for your services they’re greatly appreciated and you be missed by many. Second, a thank you for supporting everyone you could within our circle and even beyond. We’ll remember you fondly
@selvish HI TENDER!! we interact much more on twitter lol but youre one of my favorite people, big karl enjoyer and created some of my favorite fics like Y&OY, Rules, Favorite Place, and when we’re older 💜
@secretkoalasandwich EMMI MY BELOVED. ok tbh when we first started following each other I was so nervous cause you had a Wil pfp but now youre one of my favorite people lol. My brethren of punzblr, always ready to simp with me. Also an amazing artist with the most amazing blending skills youve ever seen youre telling me this is a painting??? anyways 10/10 spectacular amazing wow
@canonicallykayfabe EACHTRA!! Some of the most beautiful art here, both in a more cartoony style and one that holds slight realism. The color choices are fantastic as well. Along with that, you have some really thought provoking posts that I really appreciate like the banter discussion post awhile ago.
@sapnapstummy BLAZE THE KINDEST PERSON HERE 100%. legit i dont think ive ever seen you post a neg post about anything thats impressive. also i want to say i love how youll go back to either dreamtummy or sapnaptummy, so iconic and so true.
@dnapsnfsapnap PIGEON!! We’re semi newish mutuals but I’ll always welcome new sapnap fans into my life. On par with Salty, Jo, and Blaze, you fit right in with the sapolo ideology and i think thats amazing. You can always get the cutest screenies of Sapnap and I love your frog posts as well ^-^
@snfbabydrop Ive said this multiple times but thank you for your work on dreamnotnapss. The safe haven for multishippers in our corner. Aside from that, you are one of the nicest people Ive met here, never let your sunshine get blocked out
Also shoutout to my awesome mutuals who I dont talk to often but still love 💜
#drops this at your feet and runs#im posting this late in the night so people have something nice to wake up to ^-^#yeah idk how to tag this hi
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Hey, ive been a fan of your cultstuck series since i first read it 10 years ago and its one that i hold dear along woth toastyglow and their siblings' works. Given that we are all adults now with very busy lives, i dont expect you to kerp up with an old project like writing a fan novel fpr free, but i am curious as what ur current plants for earthbent are, if there are any atm.
(Tbh id be happy with any answer you provide, whether its a detailed outline, an unsure shrug, an excited wink hinting at a deadline or an announcement of permanent hiatus. Youve given so much with your writing, thst i just want you to be happy with whatever plans u have)
hey there! i'm going to go with unsure shrug as an answer here.
see, I did have a detailed outline for cultstuck-- i wrote it all down at around ...2015? very soon after the second eridan chapter, and sent it to my beta, who then proceeded to ghost me forever. I was already sensing she was growing disinterested in the fic/the fandom, giving constant excuses, and I myself was dealing with an anxiety/depression combo that would sharply nosedive by the time the finale came around, so i just... let it go. She didn't care. I wasn't in a good mental place to care. We went our separate ways.
I decided to take a mental health sabbatical, and now, after a few years of sertraline and therapy, the thought of picking it back up is very, very far down my list of priorities. I have so many other fics I want to write, for media which hasn't let me this profoundly down! And also, Cultstuck was conceptualized in the post-cascade hiatus, in chat logs and rough outlines, and was never supposed to take later canon into account unless it dropped any interesting, matching lore...
...but late act 6 took such a dump on the characters and the setting that it took the joy right out of playing on my patch of sandbox, fenced off as it was. And I couldn't connect with the Retcon timeline at all, but some of its developments are so popular and so deeply entrenched that I hesitate to contradict them even though i kind of hate the whole thing and never meant to take it into account?
Let's take the strongest example: Davekat. Dave and Karkat in Cultstuck were never meant to be anything more than mutually annoying acquaintances connected only indirectly via Terezi-- Dave was to be her moirail, and aro-ace besides. This was because for the entirety of the comic, that was the only vibe I got from Dave as a character, and from his interactions with Karkat as a whole-- he and Karkat felt too similar in mutually unpleasant ways, like a cousin that's just enough like you to give you second-hand embarrassment. So by the point the comic was playing coy with pushing the New Dave and New Karkat action figures together, you couldn't get me to care about Davekat if you put a gun to my head. This really hasn't changed in the least. And that means whenever I think of dealing with disappointed Davekat fans in the future of the fic, I just feel an all-encompassing, soul-deep exhaustion.
but i also don't want to drop the fic altogether, for some reason? Like, I might not feel this way forever. So idk, i'm keeping my options open i guess. Subscribe to the fic/series and maybe 10 years from now you'll get a notification like a holiday miracle. Who knows.
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Wisdom
Eddie Munson x Reader (Fluff)
| Masterlist | AO3 Link |
Summary: You finally get your wisdom teeth taken out and your best friend, Eddie Munson, is there to take care of you afterwards.
Rating: General
Author Note: Gender neutral reader, they/them pronouns, if any. Here's a little bit of fluff to go with all of our smut for Kinktober. Based on when I got my wisdom teeth taken out and the hilarity of me waking up from anesthesia. The only thing I remember about any of this is the tongue thing. Everything else I was told about second hand from my parents.
CW: Dental problems (wisdom teeth, wisdom teeth removal with no details except for proper medical definitions only); pain; pain medication used for post-op pain; side effects of anesthesia and pain mediation (loopiness, nausea, mentions of Reader throwing up due to medication); mention of IV but no details.
Word Count: 2,112
There comes a time in everybody’s life where a certain rite of passage happens. It’s an unpleasant one that everybody dreads.
Wisdom teeth removal.
While most people would have it done right away if they had the means, you put it off. You didn’t want to do it. It wasn’t that you were scared about it. The idea of having them taken out didn’t bug you at all since they’d be knocking you out cold for the procedure. It was the idea of recovering with all sides of your mouth hurting that intimidated you.
After three years of putting it off, you finally hit your breaking point when both of your bottom wisdom teeth were so impacted you had regular, painful flair ups of TMJ and were infected to the point you had to be on antibiotics for three weeks before the oral surgeon could even touch you.
Needless to say, your dad, your best friend Eddie Munson and his uncle, Wayne, weren’t very happy with you that you let it get that bad.
That was why when your dad got called out of town for work two days before your surgery, he immediately called Wayne and Eddie. Your dad was supposed to take you to the appointment and look after you for a couple of days, so he was afraid if you had to reschedule, you’d just cancel it completely. After seeing you be in pain almost daily since you were 17, no one wanted that. A new plan was quickly formulated.
Eddie would take you to and from the appointment. Since your dentist expected the recovery to be rough at first with how bad it was, Eddie would stay with you for a couple of days until you had recovered some.
It was a simple enough plan.
At first, all was going well. You couldn’t eat or drink after midnight, so your appointment was early. 8:30am, to be exact, so you went ahead and got your prescriptions the day before, then stayed the night with Eddie to make sure he got up. One thing he would never be accused of in his life was being a morning person.
Surprisingly, he got up easily when Wayne woke you two up at 6am when he got home from work.
“Course I’m getting up,” Eddie said groggily, sitting at the edge of the bed and rubbing his eyes when you teased him about it. “I hate seeing you in pain and you know I would do just about anything for you.”
That made you warm inside. While Eddie was your best friend, you had fallen for him ages ago and had kept quiet about it. That was a line you didn’t want to cross since he was your closest friend. Outside of him, your dad and Wayne, you couldn’t count on many people. If you told Eddie how you felt and the friendship was ruined, that would effectively cut the list in half. That was something you definitely wanted to avoid. Your feelings had been bottled up for a long time now, and that’s exactly where you intended to keep them.
Surprisingly, you didn’t get nervous about the procedure until you were already in the chair with the IV in. They had you count backwards from one hundred, but you were out cold before you even reached ninety.
Thus ended your part in the whole fiasco.
And it would, indeed, become a fiasco.
Two hours later, Eddie was woken up from his nap in the waiting room to the news that you were awake and ready to go home. The nurse led him back to your room so they could go over post-op care with him since you were, in the nurse’s words, “a little loopy.”
Loopy didn’t even begin to cover it.
Despite the fact you had just gone through a little bit of surgery, you were in the best mood Eddie had ever seen you in for the entire time he’s known you.
“Weddy, muh wuv!” you exclaimed as soon as he walked in.
Eddie took one look at you and had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.
Between the gauze you had in your mouth and the mild swelling already starting through your cheeks, you reminded him of a squirrel who had its mouth packed full of nuts.
“Ah mah gawd, Weddy!” you said, making grabby hands at him so he’d come closer. “Ave ah avar tald ewe ow uch ah’m in ove wit ewe? Ike, fer eel?”
That was the moment Eddie realized weed highs and anesthesia highs were two completely different things. Between the obvious slurring from that and the gauze, he didn’t have a clue what you just tried to say.
“Hey there, Princess,” Eddie said, chuckling as he came over to the dentist’s chair you were sitting in.
As soon as he got close enough, you dove halfway out of the chair to wrap your arms around his hips in a bear hug. You also headbutted Eddie right in the crotch in the process. Thankfully, it wasn’t terribly hard, but it was definitely hard enough to make tears spring up in his eyes and his knees wobble.
“Easy there, Princess,” he gently scolded you, a slight strain to his voice from the impact.
He grasped you by your shoulders to sit you upright in the chair before you could lean over anymore and fall out of it.
Right as Eddie was about to pull away and stand upright, you grabbed his face in both of your hands and kissed him.
Or, tried to, rather. You just kind of latched your lips onto his bottom lip and sat there, completely still with your eyes closed.
Eddie couldn’t help but chuckle then, and gently pushed you back down into the chair. You pouted, which looked especially pathetic with your slightly swollen bottom lip.
It didn’t take long to go over the post-op instructions, then Eddie pulled his van around to the side entrance the nurse brought you to in a wheelchair. It took a few minutes to load you up because you kept jumping out of the van and back into Eddie’s arms before he could get the door closed. He finally had to go back around to sit in the driver’s side and coax you in while the nurses helped you climb up into the van.
The drive back was uneventful for the first half of the half hour trip. You were a chatterbox during that time, though Eddie still couldn’t understand you. One sentence sounded like, “I love you, Eddie,” but he knew that wasn’t what you said. As much as he wanted you to, he knew you really didn’t feel that way about him.
Then, halfway home, you started freaking out for apparently no reason. He ended up pulling over and calming you down but still couldn’t understand what you were trying to say when he asked you what happened. You finally took some of the gauze out then to explain.
“Thomething wath moving in my mouth and it thcared me.”
It was your tongue. You had noticed your tongue moving between the gauze while you were talking, and it freaked you out.
A couple of minutes after Eddie pulled back onto the road, you suddenly got quiet for the first time since you’d been out of surgery. Eddie looked over to see your face twisted in a look of discomfort and you were holding your stomach.
“Feeling sick?” Eddie asked and you nodded rapidly.
Eddie started speeding a little since he knew how much it sucked throwing up in a moving vehicle or on the side of the road. The nurse had warned him nausea was a potential reaction to being under anesthesia, so that wasn’t a surprise.
As soon as he pulled up to your house, he cut the engine, jumped out of the van, and ran up to the door to get it unlocked. He figured that would make it easier for you if he went back for you rather than make you stand there while he got it open.
However, he had barely gotten the inside door open when he heard the sound of running footsteps behind him. Eddie turned around just in time to see you stagger running up on him. He jumped out of your way, holding the screen door open for you as you ran inside, making a bee line for the bathroom while very obviously trying not to fall over.
Eddie quickly got the passenger door of the van closed so none of the neighborhood cats would get in, then hurried to check on you.
By this point, you were on your knees in front of the toilet, leaned over it and holding onto the bowl for dear life. He had seen this pose a couple of times after you’d had too much to drink. Since there was nothing in your stomach, the throwing up amounted to just dry heaving, but it didn’t take very long before you were sobbing, too.
“Throwing up after surgery sucks,” you whined into the toilet as Eddie held your hair and rubbed your back.
At least you had realized you needed to take the gauze out before you started throwing up. It was sitting next to you on the floor, so all Eddie had to do was throw it away rather than fish it out of the toilet.
It didn’t take very long before you felt okay enough to let Eddie help you up and lead you to his bed, where you not so gracefully fell onto it. Since you had been told to dress comfortably in loose clothing, you were already basically wearing your pajamas. You were in a loose t shirt and pajama pants, so you wouldn’t have to change. You had even forgone a bra since you didn’t want to mess with one when you got back.
Eddie helped you get in a more comfortable position and pulled the covers up over you. You ended up falling asleep shortly after that and this time Eddie was positive he heard you mutter, “I love you.” But, as much as it made his heart skip, he knew it was just the drugs talking.
The fiasco continued later that afternoon when you discovered the hard way that the painkillers you were prescribed made you sick. This time, it wasn’t just passing nausea and you spent quite a while with your head in a trash can. That understandably made you refuse to take anymore, but you were in a lot of the pain after the last of the anesthesia and Novocain wore off. It kept you up all night, which kept Eddie awake.
Eddie spent most of the day trying to think of a way to help you when an idea finally occurred to him.
“I know you can’t smoke,” he said. “But I can try shot gunning it to you instead. See if that helps.”
You were ready to try anything at this point and readily agreed.
The first hit from the joint went well. Eddie kept his lips a safe distance from yours to avoid bumping into you. You kept your eyes closed as you slowly inhaled the smoke through your mouth. Still though, it felt intensely intimate to Eddie, and he had to keep himself from trembling above you.
The next few hits weren’t as intense for him now that he knew what to expect, and he managed to get through a full joint by shot gunning most of the hits to you. After about an hour, when it did indeed seem to be helping, he lit up another joint to start the process again.
Eddie didn’t notice how he got closer and closer to you with each shotgun. He didn’t notice it when he lightly pressed his lips to yours, or your eyes snap open wide since his were closed. He didn’t even notice it when he did the same thing a few moments later with the last hit off the joint.
But he did notice it when your hand came up to rest softly along the side of his face.
Eddie’s eyes few open and he finally realized he was actually kissing you.
After a moment, he pulled away and your eyes came halfway open. A sleepy, high smile came across your face.
“What took you so long?” you asked him.
Before Eddie could formulate a response, you yawned slightly and turned onto your side, eyes closing. You were asleep before he knew it, leaving him sitting over you, blinking.
That had to be the pain and the weed talking…right?
Had to be.
#eddie munson#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson one shot#eddie munson x reader fluff
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Vent post ahead that may change your view on me and that may sound dramatic (NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE, THIS IS JUST IN GENERAL) Mostly just to get out my feelings. I only ask that if you look, to be kind and understanding and patient. Also the tags are silly and id appreciate if you read em. id appreciate if you didnt ask me anything on it
I feel toxic sometimes because i can get so jealous i borderline gatekeep things and I always feel so bad because its never intentional but then I end up hating myself because I know its unhealthy and irrational but I cant help it, and I know im so lucky and have a lot in many senses of the word, but at times it feels like they can be taking everything, because when I like someone or something, they tend to matter a fuck-ton to me. Im sorry to anyone ive lashed out at a bit for them wanting what I have, I really am. Its not coming from a place of hostility, rather a place of trauma responses and hyperfixation that stem from my adhd and autism but like when I try something and it goes great, and then someone else is like "OOH thats awesome I wanna do that too" It feels almost like when Im finally happy or excited or proud to have something, someone comes and takes it. Usually Ill play it off as a joke, but in reality, its complete honesty that im trying to soften so I dont upset anyone, especially when its over fiction or a person, because I do NOT own them and I know that, but it bothers me when someone swoops in to do the exact same things or even one-up especially when its really soon after me, and since my self worth is already abysmal, it just makes me feel worse, like I should be lucky to have what I do to begin with, but I feel the need to hold it close to me and protect it so I dont lose things that make me really happy.
Recently Ive even started reverse gatekeeping in response to others, where ill just tell myself I cant or dont deserve to have anything special because I'm not, and only others can enjoy this. But thats why people making me ship content makes me so happy. Its dumb to get jealous over others selfshipping with a character I like. Its dumb to get upset over someone I know copying or taking heavy inspiration from one of my ideas. Its dumb to get possessive over someone else trying to befriend my new awesome friends or wife/wives. I rarely selfship anymore due to my reverse gatekeeping and instead serve the others who simp or enjoy content. I provide since I feel I cant take. It makes me happy and distracts me. But the moment someone else does something similar to what is my toxic coping mechanism for my toxic coping mechanism, it only hurts worse. Thats why sometimes, for example, I get a bit snappy when someone else provides gummybunny (that and also shipping jealousy sometimes). Thats why I get snappy when I make a friend someone else super cool and then another person comes in and wants to befriend them (No darken, this wasnt directed at you, its happened more than once with more than one person but I know how you tend to assume). I LOVE giving but I hate sharing, because all my life whenever I shared, I lost something.
Introduce a friend to a friend? They leave me behind for eachother. Let someone wear my fitbit because they wanted to feel "rich"? It got stolen. Give money to someone in a "rough spot" who promised to repay me somehow? Never saw them again. I was always so trusting and understanding, and I always made excuses for others. Always so naive and gullible. So much so, in fact, that in elementary I kept letting my bullies pretend to be my friends when they claimed they changed, and let them destroy any ounce of worth I had whatsoever. Things that make me happy I CHERISH because of all the things ive lost and all my experiences. Ive never been hit, not once, but the abuse all my life came emotionally and mentally, and I only recently realized through therapy. Now its hard to trust people in certain situations. Sorry for my probably hard to follow and melodramatic rant.
sorry im dumb haha
#tw vent#By the time I finished writing the post I was no longer a mess about it but im still gonna post it#I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF I SEE ANYONE APOLOGIZING FOR MY OWN ISSUES IM GONNA BE PISSED#yall read all the tags its beneficial lol#Ngl SOME of this jealousy hits hardest with Gummy#because Ill FINALLY get fed some simp food for myself#and then yk#theyll kinda show up and ask to receive the same stuff#or act jealous#gummy#babe I love you#BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HAVE FEEDING YOU GUMMYBUNNY CONSTANTLY????#Like mine is rare and far between#and I dont draw much selfship unlike you#LET ME HAVE SOME THINGS DAMMIT#And then Darken over here when I get a cool new friend just like:#... is for me? 🥺👉👈#/nm for both things#im the embodiment of envy and greed arent I...#I hate upsetting people#I just keep it to myself and internalize my emotions mostly#haha now you guys know how possessive and jealous I am#its giving yandere 🥰💅✨🗣💃🕺😍😘😼🤠🤭😇🙄🤩😜😝🤑🧐😈#i regret my life choices right about now
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