#just need sleep
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Today has been a day. Just a lot of hospital stress this week between my mom and my husband's surgeries and this is how it's coming out (they're both fine and are recovering well).
~~~
Dick finds Tim in a waiting room at Gotham General, slumped in a faded blue plastic chair that's seen better days. At some point during the day, his brother had been immaculately dressed for the office. But now, his blue pin-striped suit is wrinkled, his collar is unbuttoned, and his shirtsleeves have been rolled up. There was a tie somewhere as Dick knows Tim never leaves home without one on an office day, but it's anyone's guess as to where it currently is.
"Hey. I got here as fast as I could," he says, taking the open seat beside Tim. He did too, calling Wally as soon as he got the news from Barbara. "How's Jason?"
Tim opens his eyes, giving him a look that is more dead than alive. "Still critical."
Pain lances through Dick at the two words. He'd lost Jason once before and the guilt from being off world when his Little Wing needed him the most still ate at him in the darkest parts of his psyche. And now, here he is sitting with another brother he never thought he'd have, one who's been through so much trauma and loss of his own--and who is on the verge of possibly losing another loved one.
A car-pedestrian accident. The gall of something so normal and mundane having the potential to take out the Red Hood--or any of them for that matter--is enough to make Dick want to punch the taupe wall of this dreary waiting room.
To be honest, he's rather surprised none of the others are here yet. Well, expect Bruce. He's off world with the JL and...
Oh.
Oh.
"Do you think Bruce knows yet?"
Tim's shrug is so minute Dick might have missed it if he wasn't watching closely. "Can't say I care right now. He and Jay got into another of their big fights before he left. Said if Jay can't clean up his act, then don't bother coming back."
Dick winces and easily reads between the lines of what Tim isn't saying given their semi-public place. Even in Bludhaven, he'd heard about the execution-style murder of a known pedophile--and that it was the Red Hood who'd done it.
"He didn't do it, Dick," Tim whispers, catching his gaze as tears build in his eyes. "I was there. I know he didn't. But Bruce didn't listen to either of us, said I was covering for him because he's in my pants." Those last words are practically spat out. "I think this is the first time I've ever felt like I hate him. He just doesn't listen!"
That's a feeling Dick knows all too well. He also knows now why the others aren't here--that Barbara called him first because Tim doesn't need just comfort.
He needs his big brother.
Dick slides from the chair to kneel on the floor in front of Tim. "Now that is something I know a lot about." He takes Tim's hands and squeezes them firmly. "I'm not going to tell you it'll get better. I'm also not going to say you need to be the bigger person and forgive him. What I am going to tell you is that I believe you and that I believe in Jason."
Tim's breath hitches and he falls into Dick's open arms sobbing. Thank yous fall from his lips and into Dick's jacket. Tears fill his own eyes as he remembers another time where he didn't believe this little bird, his first Robin.
Time hasn't necessarily dulled the guilt, but it has given him perspective. He'd done what he thought best at the time and owned up to it when he'd been proven wrong--a trait not shared by their mentor and father-figure.
"We'll get through this together," Dick soothes, running a hand up and down Tim's back. "You, me, and everyone else. We're all here for you and we're all pulling for Jason."
As he speaks, he glances up and spots Alfred hurrying down the hall with Damian and Duke in tow. Both boys are still dressed in their school uniforms, so Alfred must have pulled them out early. Behind them are Cass and Steph, hands held tightly.
"We're all here," he repeats, nudging Tim's chin to make him look up. "And we're not going anywhere."
#chibinightowl writes#dick grayson#tim drake#background JayTim#there's a lot to unpack here#but it's mostly just brotherly bonding#and me needing to word vomit in some capacity#stress is a bitch#yes I'm fine#just need sleep
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An apple a day keeps the evil German doctor away
#medic team fortress 2#tf2 medic#medic tf2#medic#tf2 medic fanart#tf2#tf2 fanart#so eepy#i am so so eepy#Just need sleep#Goodnight
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Adventure Time style!
#ukatake#adventure time style#takeda ittetsu#ukai keishin#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#I got nothing to say lol#just need sleep#if sleep wants me
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Dear Void,
I'm not ok, I haven't been ok for a long time, I keep it myself, because no one has the time to care that I'm not ok. I keep going not being ok. I might be homeless soon if everything I've been working for with an apt falls through because I got some papers work in a couple of weeks too late. It could mean the difference between me having a roof over my head or not. I wasn't told there was an expiration date that I had to have the paperwork in by.
I've been crying on and off all day since I found out. Terrified that nothing can be done. I have to wait until tomorrow to see if I can speak to my case worker, who truthfully doesn't give a fuck about me. Not because of me but because she has too many cases, is over worked and under paid. She can't seem to actually care that's I'm human being this effects my real life because of reasons I mentioned. I don't want to talk to her if she just going to treat me like a case number and not an actual person. But I don't have much choice. I'm scared she just going to give me the company line so to speak. So I spent most of the day going in touch with anyone else I thought might help me outside that agency, figuring my case worker isn't going to anything, which I feel would be her reaction to any of us that have her as case worker.
I'm telling this to the void, because I don't really have anyone else. Because I'm tried of this being another moment in my life where I was just about to get to something positive, something I truly needed and wanted, where I could literally feel it, see it, almost touch it... only to have it ripped away from me fucking again.
For anyone wondering why people not like you get suicidal this why! I'm just... losing the tiny little itty bitty sliver of stupid hope I just built back up. That maybe just maybe it could be alright. That I could start fresh and that would be good.
But fuck I never get to start fresh I just get more and more and more crap dropped on my head, fall in another deep fucking hole I have to fucking climb out of. But first I have to get all this crap out of the way, then I start climbing, just as get to the top, I can see the light not all the light mind you just a little bit. It all started all over again... and so.
The issue now is I no longer have the strength to keep starting over at bottom of the hole. I just want it all to just stop. Unfortunately my depression makes it far too easy for me to think of ways of just stopping it all. I'm at one if moments where I'm having trouble remembering why I should stick around. If it's just going to be more of the same why bother.
Some would say call the suicide prevention line. Here's the thing about that line if you haven't had the need to ever call it. I don't know if due demand or what but they seem to want to get you the fuck off it as fast as possible. Which doesn't really work when one is feeling stressed and wanting to kill one's self! Unless I guess you're actually holding a gun to your head, their not exactly patient and too willing to listen. Which call me stupid but I'd think that would be the point not how exactly suicidal are you? Oh you're not that bad could you please get the fuck off the line! They will literally hurry you the fuck up once they know or at least think you're not going to off yourself. To me not really helpful, it's more something to be avoided it all cost!
Tonight though dear void. I'm going to take something to help me sleep, just sleep. Other wise I'm not going to be able to, because my anxiety has to so amped up. If nothing the sun will be up tomorrow right...
#dear void#im not okay#I'm not ok#mental health#depression#anxiety#feeling scared#just need sleep#maybe it will look better in the day light#do have my therapy appointment tomorrow
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Can't wait for the weekend 💤....
Also, i looove hoodies🖤
#the 1975#matty healy#at their very best#mattyhealy#matty the 1975#the1975#the1975edits#just need sleep
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Just some 📻 🍎 doodles
#i need to go to sleep so desperately#but then I just keep drawing#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#alastor#lucifer#radioapple#appleradio#my doods
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you know what boils my blood.
over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."
i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.
but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.
today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.
the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.
so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.
#zee rambles#this isn't to guilt trip anyone#but im so so tired of people coming in and just refusing testing because they want to see grandma or whatever#and on top of that people are avoiding vaccinations and all that too??#we all lived through the pandemic - everyone saw how many people unfortunately passed away from it#now because of vaccinations and some amount of herd immunity we're finding milder cases in healthy people#but that doesn't mean its gone#that doesn't mean it doesn't have long-term repercussions even in healthy people and that doesn't mean people aren't still dying from it#honestly i just needed a lil rant#and if this helps at least one person??? im all for it#also i can't sleep so here we are spilling thoughts into the voidddd
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I saw someone say a while ago that Jason attacking Tim at Titans Tower was just Tim hallucinating bc he was feeling guilty about being Robin even though Jason's not dead. Which is great, amazing, I think the whole Titans Tower thing is Bonkers, but I think it would be so much funnier if Jason tried to Gaslight Tim into believing the Titans Tower incident never happened, not because he's like evil, he's just super embarassed about it. like
Or Tim did actually hallucinate Jason at TT but thinks it was real, so when he tells Jason about it, Jason's so fucking confused, and Tim thinks Jason's Gaslighting him
Tim: Remember that time when you broke into Titans Tower and beat me half to death while wearing a Robin costume from party city
Jason: What? Tim, I know i'm crazy, but I'm not...Insane.
Tim, pulling down his collar: I literally have the scar to prove it
Jason: Bruce told me that was from Clayface pretending to be me, which, might I just say rude. Tim... are you ok? Did you hallucinate me attacking you? like, I know I've done that before, but...
Tim, frowning: I don't think I hallucinating. I was benched for a while after because I had to recover-
Jason: well, you were benched around the time I was dropping hints that I knew who Bruce was outside of Batman, he probably just benched you to keep you safe. You probably were working too many cases with too little sleep and your imagination started to run wild.
Tim: Are you gaslighting me?
Jason: Are you gaslighting me?
#jason todd#tim drake#titans tower#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#schrodinger#they argue about it for eternity#but neither of them check the footage#because they think the argument's so silly#they also never ask Bruce#it would be so easily solved#but if they ask somone they're someone's gonna get in big trouble#Bruce: Jason why are you gaslighting Tim?#Bruce: Tim you need to get more sleep or I'm benching you#Jason honestly doesn't remember a lot from his fresh back to gotham era because he just represses it#so he really doesn't know either#and he's scared to know if it's actually true or not
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#if your regular sleep med of choice is Benadryl I’m afraid of you#Idek what my answer is though??? probably melatonin. it helps a lot when I need to fix my sleep schedule#sleep soundly <3333#I also sometimes take ashwaganda if it’s not too expensive or is mixed w other stuff. and drink sleepy teas but not necessarily JUST tosleep#I was on olanzapine and that helped my sleep a lot (at the cost of eventually making me feel so so tired during the day)#anyways you must tell me
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retired 🩶
#call of duty#cod#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soapghost#my art#listen this took me like two weeks so y'all better appreciate 🤌#johnny is the super active DIY father of the family#simon has made his way through all of the miss marple mysteries and has now set his sights on naval fiction#also growing his fringe out to hide the early onset baldness#johnny has gorgeous hair but we knew that#the dogs are called roger and wee albert--guess which is which#yes they all sleep in the same bed~#I guess I just need to see these two old and cranky and alive for whatever reason...#let them both burn in hell after a few good decades learning how to live beyond just surviving#god they probably make a banger pot roast....
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Whoops
#feng xin#mu qing#fengqing#xie lian#tgcf#heaven official's blessing#long post#I know they technically don't need to sleep but I'll just ignore that
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Martlet sprite by: @dvdexe on twitter!
#my art#undertale#undertale yellow#undertale yellow fanart#undertale fanart#that first drawing btw i took such a long time on that it's insane#i'm just really tired i need sleep#the third painted one is a screenshot redraw from the undertale yellow trailer btw
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The Stand-in Job
Danny loved his job. It was an easy on call job he got rather on accident. But it paid well and gave him enough time to deal with ghost matters outside of scheduled work hours.
Though now he got stuck in a situation his Boss had not provided him with a script and or explanation how to behave for.
Danny was a simple Stand-in. Sort of like a Stuntman kind of job. His boss was paying him to simple take his place during public appearances, or meetings with no big decision he has to sit through just to listen. Or on the easiest of days, to just sit in his boss office so it appears that someone is there while his boss was doing who knows what. Danny doesn't question, that's why his boss liked him.
But again, no where in his contract was described how he was supposed to handle this situation. So now he was stuck having beat up a couple of wannabe kidnappers and some vigilantes talking to him all casually going on and on how 'Tim', his boss, wasn't supposed to do that to not risk his public image. Should he record this as evidence for his Boss? It sounded like these vigilantes were spilling some of his boss' secrets that shouldn't be known to the public.
Tim just needed someone to sit in his place to make it appear like he was there when he had cases to work through. Danny was the perfect hire for it and Tim liked very much that Danny doesn't ask questions, like he understood. Yet when Danny sent him a text questioning how he should behave as Stand-in in front of Gotham's vigilantes.... Tim wasn't sure if he should feel offended or highly amused about his siblings not realizing that the one kidnapped in public hadn't been Tim but his Stand-in Danny.
#danny fenton#dp x dc#danny phantom#dpxdc#crossover#dcxdp#tim drake#Danny is Tim's Stand-in#they look a lot alike thats why it works#for danny its an easy job#for tim itvgives him the time he needs extra to work on cases#his siblings appear to not realize that at forst#and end up lecturing Danny 'Tim' about not waiting for them to rescue him#danny just saw wannabe kidnappers and with his history beat them up good#random late night thoughts#random early morning thoughts#random idea#sleep avoids me these days...
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finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using
#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for?#open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer)#maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel#once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs#i respected their commitment to the theme#but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities#dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton#ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered#i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it#aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment#honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet#letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already.#really i've put off my responsibilities long enough#(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings)#(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time)#(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.)#(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)
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How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have
It had been a long few minutes since he'd opened the door and there were a lot of questions running through Dick's head. Most pressing of which was how this kid seems to have information he should not have.
"How did you..?" he asked, but the words wouldn't leave completely. There's so much he wants to know, so much he wants to ask.
"How do I what?" Danny tilted his head like the child he seems to be is.
"How do you know?" Dick knows he sounds weak. There's no hiding that, but there are a lot of implications in what the kid has said so far and none of it is painting a very happy picture for him.
"Oh!" Danny had the audacity to smile, "You want to know how I know you moonlight as a vigilante!" And of course he knows. Dick knows he knows, but he'd held a little bit of hope that the child Danny was mistaken. Danny's smile softened a bit as he explained, "Your hair and voice match up in both jobs almost perfectly. Not to mention your build and how you hold yourself. There's also the matter of your overall vibes, but that's not something living beings can normally pick up on." Excuse him? "Well, not living humans, at least, so no worries on that end!"
"Excuse me?" Dick was fairly sure his heart just stopped beating for a moment there.
"Anyway, I was a hero back home for a while, too. I know what it's like to have to walk the tightrope between maintaining a civilian cover and a hero persona. I know how it feels to have to keep secrets from everyone because anyone who knows will be in danger." he rambled, Though, admittedly, our circumstances are quite different. I was working as a hero all hours of the day as well as going to school. You only have to worry about properly balancing between day and night jobs. Either way, me having more to bounce between just makes me al the more qualified to help you!"
Oh. Oh he did not like that. He didn't like a single thing that just came out of the kid's mouth. Because that's what he is, a kid. "Are you...Are you alright?"
"Not in the slightest," Danny admitted with an even smaller smile. Then, it brightened, not quite to a grin, but to something similar, "But I'm here to make sure you are."
He gets points for being honest, but Dick felt his heart shatter. He knew for a fact that he'd never worked with this kid before. He also knew that the Justice League didn't know about him. If they did, he would've been picked up and dropped with either the Young Justice team or the Titans.
Dick wasn't going to ask why he became a hero because that's not his place. It's more of a 'third mission with the team' kind of questions, anyway. Most of the heroes didn't have many options when they took up the mantle. Asking what Danny can do is a more appropriate question, but he wasn't going to ask that, either.
"Now that that's out of the way," Danny turned a few pages from the table of contents to another one that was topped with 'Why Sleep Scheduling Is Important' in the blue glitter pen that Dick was starting to suspect he favored. "You're not getting enough sleep. Following you around - no one's been able to find me for a while, so don't worry about that - for the last two weeks has given me some really worrisome information on you."
Dick was worrying. He was worrying a lot and even more questions were coming to the forefront of his mind.
"Your dayjob is as an officer on the Bludhaven Police Force, or BPD for short." He was looking over the page he'd turned to very aptly and Dick realized that the kid had notes written on him. "The average hours per week for police across the country is forty hours. Gotham and Bludhaven are the exceptions. As a member of the BPD, you work a solid two days and two hours. Six nights a week, you work as Nightwing from eight in the evening to three in the morning. The last day, you take off, which is good. No deserable pattern, so good on you for that. Regardless, that's seven hour nights and ten hour days, with one day off and one day on call as an officer. Seven hours are now left in your day for personal time, eating, and sleeping. That's not a healthy way to live."
Oh, god, the kid had honest to god notes on him! What the hell!
Danny didn't even skip a beat as he pulled Dick's attention back to him and his binder. "I've drawn up a schedule for you to follow." The back of the page had a meticulously drawn schedule, complete with blocks of time to eat, sleep, work both jobs, travel, personal time, and still have a bit extra left over. It was titled 'Ideal End Result' in green marker. "Drastic changes right away will only affect you negatively, so we're starting off smaller." The next page over had another schedule titled 'Where To Begin'. "I've only pulled one hour from your Nightwing hours because I know important that time is to you and the city. I am, however, going to be having you submit an appeal to your boss to cut back your hours from fifty a week to forty a week. That way, you'll only be working eight hours a day and not ten. You'll still be on call for one day, and you'll have that last day off. Altogether, you'll be going be going from working seventeen hours a day to fourteen hours a day. Nine in the morning to five in the afternoon, and eight in the evening to two in the morning. Not including breaks at work or travel time. It opens up a few more hours for you to sleep!"
"You really think the chief is going to pull back my hours?" Dick raised an eyebrow in question.
"He will if he knows what's good for him."
"You know I can arrest you for that threat, right?"
"Yeah, but you won't." And, damn it, he's right.
Although, there was now another thing he had to know. "How to you plan on enforcing this schedule of yours?"
Danny seemed to have been waiting for this. He got a gleam in his eye as he pulled a black folder from his bag, not breaking eye contact with Dick. He placed it on the table and pushed it across. "Congratulations, it's a boy."
Part 1 Part 3
#part 2#please read part 1#I had to redo a detail there to make something here make sense#dc x dp#dp x dc#dp dc crossover#dcxdp#danny phantom#dick grayson#dick needs a hug#dick needs sleep#danny's a hypocrite#work life balance#excelt it's being explained by a hypocrite 7 years younger than him#reverse adoption#is it really adoption if the kid shows up one day and just doesn't leave?#danny is going to make sure dick takes care if himself#good thing danny's sister and friends drilled this into his head#'this' being the importance of a proper work life balance#I maintain that Danny is a hypocrite#It's not adoption papers btw#It's a backstory
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Compromised
#compromised just like me#my art#disco doodle#I needed to get this out before sleep#disco sapphics#btw the dots around Harriets eyes are flakes of mascara#just keeps piling the stuff on#Kim: bitch did you just call me straight#Klaasje Amandou#comic#Kim Kitsuragi#harry du bois#harrier du bois
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