#just like the magnus archives last summer
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Finished the Bdubs POV ten minutes ago
I can finally be free and go sleep :D
#craig talks#mcyt#limited life#i started watching it 3 hours after it got posted cuz that's when i woke up#so i watched it in one sitting#just as god intended#just like the magnus archives last summer
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20 Great Horror Podcasts To Fall Asleep And Have Nightmares To
I listen to a lot of horror podcasts, and if you’re looking for a spooky recommendation for October, I am here to provide. These are my personal top ten (not in any order) and ten rapid-fire “honorable mentions” as well.
The Silt Verses – Strange, soothing folk horror. Two followers of an outlawed god travel their deity’s great black river, hiding from a police manhunt and encountering other weird gods that have flourished in forgotten rural territories. There is a god in your fridge, a god in your radio, a god in your deepest regrets, and none of that is a good thing.
The Hotel – Someplace beyond time and space is The Hotel, where guests check in but they don't check out *Vincent Price laugh* instead meeting a violent death at the will of the Hotel. The truly stand out part is the hotel staff, who end up getting most of the focus. The interplay between these terrible monsters who are all trapped in hell together is absolutely fantastic, horror office politics at its finest.
The Magnus Archives – Jonathan Sims’s job is to record statements of encounters with the supernatural. But the more he records, the more connections he makes between these seemingly disconnected tales of terror. A horror/tragedy with a deep emotional core, difficult moral questions, and just the right amount of humor. You’ve already heard of this one why am I even telling you about it, it’s good.
Unwell – Mount Absalom, Ohio is a small town, the kind of place where you don’t lock your doors at night. Where the ghost tour at Fenwood House runs rain or shine. Where buildings still bear the marks of the last great fire in the Burning Woods. Where you might hear echoes of conversations long past in the observatory on Chapel Hill. Unwell is particularly memorable for its fun, colorful characters and for its themes of history and loss. A Midwestern Gothic mystery about family, memories, and the things that haunt us in the end.
Down – A submarine called the Virgil enters a seemingly bottomless Antarctic trench. Its mission: to map the pit and collect samples of any scientifically interesting creatures within. But when an encounter with one of these creatures goes awry, tensions form among the crew, and they begin to wonder how safe they really are. All the while, the Virgil descends … and descends … and descends.
Mockery Manor – It’s the summer of 1989, and people are going missing in Mockery Manor theme park. It’s up to a pair of teenage sisters to unravel the mystery and catch the killer – if they can get past their own traumas and work together. If you like 80s and 90s horror/slasher movies, this one is for you. The audio production values are some of the best I’ve seen, and include in-universe pop songs and wonderfully atmospheric 90s horror synth.
I Am In Eskew – David Ward is lost. He’s found himself in Eskew, a place of steep and winding streets, where the architecture changes at will and the rain never stops. Eskew grips its people tight, and does not let go easily. These are David’s stories of the city that has claimed him, and of someone who is looking for him there.
Gospel Of The Flood – The world is sinking. Slowly, day by day, the continents are vanishing under the waves. This is the age of the Flood. We follow a priest who has lost his faith, as he searches for the people he remembers in this doomed and dying world. A tragedy/existential horror about faith, despair, kindness, cruelty, and the tide that carries it all away.
The Lost Cat Podcast – Our narrator is looking for his cat. It isn’t the nicest cat, nor the most well-behaved, but it is his cat and he misses it. As he searches he encounters many people, many creatures, and some truly terrible things. He’d like to tell you about them. The tone for this one fluctuates from story to story, from genuinely horrifying to purely comedic to incredibly soft and gentle.
Archive 81 – A man named Daniel Powell listens to some audio tapes. This will surely not have severe consequences for anyone. Melody Pendras interviews the tenets of a building where reality wears thin at the edges. A play from golden age of radio brushes against something mankind wasn't meant to hear. Two siblings attempt an occult ritual left by their estranged (and now deceased) father. It's a lot of weird analog horror with fun found footage scattered within.
(Note: Archive 81 is genuinely nothing like the Netflix adaptation of the same name. The plot is entirely different, the characters act differently, the podcast is a surreal cosmic horror while the adaptation is a straightforward demon cult and Netflix made Melody straight. Don’t mention the Netflix adaptation in this household we all hate the Netflix adaptation here.)
Honorable Mentions: (i.e., I like them but for one reason or another they weren’t right for the top ten.)
Midst - More Fantasy/Weird/Western than horror, but if you like horror you’ll love the monsters, the cosmic horror reality storms and the truly weird imagery. The unique narration style is like nothing else I’ve ever heard and keeps the energy high.
The White Vault S1 & S2 – Frozen tundra horror, similar vibes to The Thing, in a found footage format. I mostly recommend the first two seasons, because they’re the most solid and they work as a self-contained story.
Old Gods of Appalachia – Appalachian folk horror, angry ghosts and forest gods. Some characters and threads run through it but largely each season is its own setting and story.
Alice Isn’t Dead – A truck driver searches America for the wife she long assumed was dead. Soft spoken road trip horror slowly unraveling an inhuman conspiracy.
Woe.Begone – More scifi/thriller than horror, but good shit. What begins as a mysterious and violent ARG with real-life consequences becomes a search for the technology that makes the game possible. Great music, fun narrator, dark themes.
Death By Dying – The Obituary Writer of Crestfall, Idaho just can’t stop himself from investigating the mysterious deaths he’s supposed to be writing about. Very silly and whimsical, more black comedy than pure horror with big Welcome To Night Vale vibes.
A Voice From Darkness – Parapsychologist Dr. Malcolm Ryder helps those who suffer from supernatural troubles on his call in radio show. I’ll warn that the update schedule is a bit slow and not super consistent.
The SCP Archives – A podcast that takes stories from the SCP Foundation wiki and gives them voice acting, foley and the full audio treatment. Picks a pretty good variety, too.
The Wrong Station – Anthology podcasts are always a little hit and miss, but the fact that The Wrong Station keeps the same writing/VA team from episode to episode really helps keep it consistent. I made a list of my favorite episodes here.
Nightlight – Anthology podcast with creepy stories written by black writers and performed by black actors. Like all anthologies, you’ll like some stories better than others, but they cover a pretty wide range.
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do you think NHS will ever be satisfied with the way things have turned out in the end? or is he already? I've seen polar opinions on this one and honestly can't decide which one I like more
oooh, what crunchy questions, anon.
short answer: I think he thinks he's satisfied.
the tl;dr answer: I don't think it's possible for us to know with any degree of certainty how nhs feels about anything post-canon, because the text gives us almost no insight into his interiority outside of wwx's speculation in the aftermath of the guanyin temple sequence. but I think we can make some educated guesses based on what we do know about his character.
rather than just rewrite stuff I've already written on this subject before, I'll drop some links to previous posts that I think are relevant to your ask:
nhs took so long to enact his revenge quest because he could not make up his mind about what he wanted to do. also this one, which includes discussion of his cql performance as well. indecisiveness is as core to nhs's character as his desire for vengeance, and I think that extends to his feelings about his situation post-canon, too.
this is definitely more within the realm of headcanon and speculation but I went deep on this the magnus archives-mdzs fusion reblog speculating on why I think nhs would be an avatar of the hunt, and a big thing about the hunt is that once the hunt is over, the hunters... don't really know what to do with themselves. womp womp.
now on to the point I don't think I've spilt much digital ink on yet:
nhs is, and always has been, a people person. this is extremely obvious when you dip back into the gusu lan summer camp for wayward young cultivators chapters, where nhs is at his most effervescent when he is bopping around the cloud recesses as wwx and jc's bubbly tag-along, lamenting how much lwj and lqr clearly hate wwx while cheerfully offering to give wwx more porn to make up for what he's lost. (it was nhs's porn, too! he'd be justified in being a bit cheesed off about it, but he really isn't!) if he sees a didi-shaped hole in a prospective friends' group, he sees an opportunity to make himself lovably indispensable as the court appointed littlest brother no one asked for, and quite frankly who could blame him? he loves to be spoiled and doted on, but imo there's some clear self-awareness and reciprocity at work in these dynamics that goes beyond a desire just to be pampered and looked after. I suppose an uncharitable read on teen!nhs would be that he's lazy and manipulative and finds easy marks to do the heavy lifting for him so he can sleep and paint and catch birds for his private collection, but tbh I think that interpretation does his character dirty. most people who end up spoiling and doting on nhs in the text are clearly happy to do so and seem to get something out of making life easier for this charmingly incompetent dandy. good for him--and for them!
...and then, post-canon, he is a people person without any people around him. sure, we can presume the existence of some unnamed nie sect subordinates who are stuck dealing with a sect leader who allowed his sect to languish and decline in the years after nmj's death, but I think if any of those unnamed subordinates were inclined to be people nhs could rely on to fill the 3zun and/or wwx and jc-shaped voids in his life, we'd at least know their names. I think it is telling that we don't, and that the last meaningful interaction we see between nhs and the characters who used to be his closest friends in the text amounts to an interrogation. whatever affection wwx used to feel for nhs has clearly withered on the vine and has been replaced by mistrust and suspicion--to say nothing of lxc's dead-eyed silence as soon as he begins to put the pieces together.
also: the last glimpse we get of nhs in the text before he disappears from the story altogether is him picking up jgy's hat and walking off with it. why does he do this? why is this the very last thing we see him do in the story? there are a few different possibilities:
"he's taking the hat to keep as a trophy!" I mean. maybe? I suppose I can't entirely rule out this possibility, but it is the least interesting one to me because it glosses over the complexity of nhs's pre-existing relationship to jgy.
"nhs doesn't know why he picks up the hat and takes it with him. he just does it." this is the idea I vibe with the most because it is most consistent with my read on his character--namely that he is never 100% sure about anything (except what qualifies as good erotica). but I think the part of him that still cares about jgy (it's there! it's tiny and shrivelled and warped by his transformation into the wuxia version of montresor, but it's still there) does not want to see his hat abandoned in the mud and dirt, and also does not want to interrogate his feelings about why he feels that way that closely.
"nhs can't abide littering! he's doing his part to keep the city streets clean." doubt.jpeg
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Last 10 fics/Writing Patterns meme
Thank you @seiya-starsniper for the tag! <3
Rules: Post the first lines of your last ten fics posted to AO3 (Sort by date posted), AND see if there's a pattern!
Bad End (Dungeon Meshi)
There's a split second, between the moment that she stands up and the moment that the shadow of claws comes down upon her, where Marcille thinks that Falin recognizes her.
Basic Needs (The Sandman)
"Where do you live?"
The Riddle of the Sphinx (The Sandman)
At some point during the summer, a sphinx had moved into the cliffs at the edge of the Endless siblings' property.
17th Century Knife Restoration (The Sandman)
Hob doesn't watch Youtube.
The Least of Clues (The Sandman)
Hob means it as a joke, the first time he says it.
a little death, or something like it (The Magnus Archives)
The word 'knowledge' hovers behind Jon's teeth, waiting to leap forth, to be...God, it sounds absolutely mad, but, to be born. (Note: This is technically not the first line but the actual first line is just a quote from the podcast so this is the first line that I wrote.)
a portion of night (Baldur's Gate 3)
The sky is uncommonly clear tonight, lit by a moon so fat and radiant that it looks nearly like a second sun; behind Selûne, trailing her like a lacy skirt, the Tears appear as motes of dust caught in a ray of sunlight, glittering with extraordinary radiance.
Cocoon (Original work)
William watched the wreck of the Fearless drift further and further away from shore.
a prettier corpse (Baldur's Gate 3)
"Well," the Urge says.
iron, glass, bones, blood (The Sandman)
"Are you sure?" Hob asks, because he can't not.
I reckon the pattern here is that I tend to like starting things with a definitive statement. Something is happening and here is what it is. I also tend to like starting with dialogue maybe? I feel like I do that a lot, to the point that sometimes I actively try to change it when I notice I'm doing it.
I'll tag @dsudis and @pellaaearien <3 If you want!
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Fic Author Self-Rec!
tagged by the lovely @mareenavee , thank you so much!! <3
tagging @dirty-bosmer @orfeoarte @gilgamish @umbracirrus @totally-not-deacon @v1ctory-or-sovngarde @thequeenofthewinter and YOU!! no pressure to participate, and if you haven't written 5 fics, feel free to just talk about whichever ones you have!!
Rules:
Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love!
i'm going to paste each fics summary, and then go on my tangents!
An Inner Sanctity
Two months after attempting to utilize the Eye of Magnus and gain it's power, Ancano wakes up in an unfamiliar cottage, being cared for by the very person he intended to destroy. Navigating their strange and new dynamic, the Thalmor agent finds he may be offered second chance at life, but whether or not he takes it is another story.
this fic is a huge work of exploration into what indoctrination can do to someone who has never known any different, and how that can affect things as broad as worldviews and as personal as one-on-one dynamics with people. it's also partially catharsis-fic, as giving ancano some of my own mental and physical issues and dialing it up to 10000000000% is a hell of a lot of fun. i love seeing that old man suffer and then earn his rise from the ashes. plus, using athenath in a fic where they cant rely on the other two of the trio - as this is in an AU i call the "athenath solo run" - forces me to think of how they would handle situations on his own. spoiler? not too well.
it's on a hiatus at the moment despite having a pretty long backlog, i just don't have the motivation right now to edit and write more for it, but that definitely will change in the future, because i really love exploring ancano's psyche and how he begins to grow and change.
also the fic title comes from the song "Twilight" by Bôa, while that doesnt have anything to do with the fic, i loved the line "you give me an inner sanctity", sooooo <3
The Mark You Left
Two scientists realize, upon losing contact with Dr. Richtofen, that they are truly alone in the aftermath of their actions.
i don't have 5 fics for TES, so have my singular CoD Zombies fic as well! i've had a special interest in the ultimis timeline of CoD Zombies since uhhhh 2011? maybe? sometimes it lays dormant for months and then all of the sudden i think about it daily, especially the dynamics between Dr. Schuster, Dr. Richtofen, and Dr. Groph. so, i wrote this as a bit of a loveletter to a fandom i no longer am part of, but still have a lot of fondness for. it's a quick read that hits on this concept of ultimate betrayal in the aftermath of literally betraying someone else for that person. two people dealing with that, processing that, and what they'll do in the wake of all of this.
the title for this fic comes from the song "Birds" by BENN, who used to make CoD Zombies-based songs before rewriting/redoing them for his own original work!!
Portraits Under Forgotten Suns
A collection of short one-shot fics done for TESFest 2023. A werewolf in his cage, a Bosmer alchemists' first memory, a Dunmer mage's quiet contemplation, a humble keeper's last look at the place he's called home, a sailor's fate at the wreck of the Brinehammer, and an Altmer bard's fond summer memory.
as it says on the tin! its a series of one-shots i initially published to tumblr, then moved to Ao3 to make them more accessible and have a ready archive of them! i loved working on each of these, getting into different perspectives, and figuring out how to convey the narratives of the characters i worked with. i liked writing up details of my dragonborn trio's pasts, too, and the story for "Forgotten/Devotion" was a hell of a lot of fun, getting to pull the wreck of the brinehammer into a fic!
If by Sun and Moon I Swore
With the Empire's victory in the Skyrim Civil War, Hadvar has been quietly readjusting to regular life. When an old friend turns up at his door, that quiet he'd hoped for comes to a halt.
i love hadvar/ralof with all my wretched pining heart okay. i cannot deny this pair has a vice grip on me! and working with them, two soldiers touched by war on opposite sides who once had something (in this case, used to be (and still are) in love), can be something both so tragic and so healing. pulling this pair back together, giving them some form of comfort, even if it's brief, is such a joy. i have intentions of writing more for this couple in the future, but that's likely going to be a while. still, i'll be sure to let you guys know if i do get around to it!!
this fics title is from "Like The Dawn" by The Oh Hellos! its my quintessential hadvar/ralof song for sure <3
Cycle of the Serpent
Surviving Helgen by the skin of their teeth, three elves find themselves tossed into the middle of ancient legends, a civil war, and a hell of a lot of problems. They may all have different reasons for being in Skyrim, but if they have any hope of reaching their destinations alive, it lies in learning to trust their strange new companions… no matter what.
From the ruins of Helgen to the plains of Whiterun, from the seas of Solitude to the grim frost of Winterhold, and everywhere sprawling beyond, the unlikely trio will find that being chosen by Akatosh is more than they've ever bargained for. And with their own histories crawling back, and secrets slowly spilled, the trio may find that there's little they can do to escape the cycles they've made.
this longfic is… a huge undertaking. "An Inner Sanctity" focuses on two very flawed people coming to love one another. "Cycle of the Serpent" focuses on three very flawed, extremely fucked up people learning to trust one another and face whatever fate awaits them together, even when that trust is tested, even when the world is cruel, even when trauma batters and bruises them in the current and then rises up from the briny depths of the past to tug them back down beneath. it's about sustained and sometimes self-fulfilling cycles of hurt, anger, and sometimes vengeance, and it's about love and joy and companionship and friendship that lives within it all.
in short, this longfic is one of my biggest undertakings in a very long time.
i started this as a bit of a joke. the idea of there being more than one LDB was a fun idea, and then i created three elves, and those three elves gave me their family histories and their childhood friendships and their previous travels and how it changed them all prior to helgen and i went… yeah i can't just not write this and go insane about it. these three and their various methods for dealing with situations, their triumphs and defeats, and how they bounce off one another became so organic and real to me that i feel continuously pulled to keep their narrative going. this story forced me to write my first ever combat scenes (posted the snippet of my second ever real combat scene tonight!) and learn how to navigate keeping it within TES lore, while also breaking out of some of the stale writing in skyrim itself. i have plans to rewrite/overhaul entire questlines and characters to give them more life, and i've got dozens of OCs lined up - at least one of whom is hinted at within the first chapter. i have this story and these characters arcs planned out, and they do get particularly grim at points, but i never want this story to go into "there is no hope" territory. there's always hope, it just lies in learning to break your own cycles, even if it feels like it may kill you.
the title of this fic was taken from the song "Pillar of Na" by Saintseneca, i very heavily envision emeros as the first verse, athenath as the second, wyndrelis as the third, with the fourth being all three of them, and the fifth (the "eternal, eternal, eternity round…") being a sort of ensemble of all the places and people they've touched in their lives.
woooooooooooooooo!! that was long-winded. thank you for listening to me ramble on these, and thank you so much again for tagging me, mareena!! i hope everyone is having a lovely wednesday/thursday!! <3333
#tesblr#ficblr#skyrim#tes v#skyrim fic#tes v fic#tes v skyrim#ancano#ralof of riverwood#hadvar of riverwood#hadvar x ralof#oc ; athenath#oc ; emeros#oc ; wyndrelis#cycle of the serpent#an inner sanctity#if by sun and moon i swore#portraits under forgotten suns#the mark you left#bishop.txt#my writing
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A couple of June spreads I made in my reading journal. ( I was thinking about making a whole post on my reading journal, would that be a good idea?)
08|07|2022
19/30 days of self care
Today I worked in the morning, when I got home I was super tired and I decided that at least on my birthday I can avoid the plans I had made and just read and relax in the afternoon. And it's exactly what I did. I did my daily Irish practice on duolingo, but for the rest of the day I just slowed down and read. These past few days I have felt really exhausted for some reason, so taking an afternoon for myself was much needed.
tranquilstudy's studying challenge // day 23
Halloween isn’t that far away, you know. Have you read or watched any of the classic horror books or movies? What are your favourites or least favourites if you have?
Horror has probably become my favourite book genre in these past couple of years. I am not a huge fan of horror movies, as the type of horror I enjoy the most is more psychological based, jumpscares and gory scenes are not what I necessarily look for. I like a story that can scare you by using your own imagination (reason why I think The Magnus Archives podcast worked amazingly). I want to get to more classic horror novels, It by Stephen King has been on my tbr for years, but since it's a huge book I haven't read it yet. And I also want to read more horror that is not just King. I like him as a writer but the fact that in my local bookstory has only his stuff in the horror section bothers me so much. (If you have any good horror book recs I am all hears). The last horror book I read was Pet Sematary by King, and it was a huge let down. I currently put on hold the reading of House Of Leaves by M.Z. Danielewski, I was enjoying it but it's a book that requires more focus that I've had in the past month. I am really excited to read more horror stuff, and I think that I'll look for a couple of these books for the summer, so give me your best recs please.
#studyblr#studyinspo#bullet journal#bujo#journal#reading journal#journaling#notebook#notes#illustration#studying#bookblr#book#tranquilsummerbuddies#myhoneststudyblr#serendistudy#productivity#motivation#30 days of self care#mine#the---hermit
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˖ ˚ . PEOPLE I'D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER ! ✧ °. ‧₊˚⋅.
ALIAS / NAME : Chimereus or C.C. as our collective name! I have many names as you can see here, but now, I'm Detective Paradox. Feel free to call me just one of the either!
BIRTHDAY : May 25th
ZODIAC SIGN : Gemini Sun, Cancer Moon, Taurus Rising
HEIGHT : 4'10" :')
HOBBIES : Collecting, writing, gif + graphic editing, music listening, drawing
FAVOURITE COLOUR : Blue, green, white, brown, black
FAVOURITE BOOK : We haven't read a book for years and can't recall much of what we've read. I guess the Bible that we have to read in our catholic high school was cool.
LAST SONG : This epic Bring Me To Life x MILLIONS KNIVES mashup, babyyyyy
LAST FILM / SHOW : Barbie ( 2023 ) / Avatar: The Last Airbender animated series
RECENT READS : Does reading our mutuals' and our own sexy as fuck writings count?
INSPIRATION : The central core of inspiration is metafiction─ The Narrative(TM), with the natures of fate, destiny, and free will; as well as the ethics and power of storytelling. Identity and autonomy along with being the consumer and the consumed all at once are also taken into inspiration. Love and hope are also heavy inspirations. Media wise, our lore and writings reflect with Jujutsu Kaisen, Chainsaw Man, Dorohedoro, the Magnus Archives, and Everything Everywhere All At Once.
STORY BEHIND URL : Micah is generally associated with sun and fire because of xyr bright and vivid personality while xe with the Starwake System is an Antigod and technically a deity if you look into Micah's nature as part of the Sun, Moon, and Earth. It's meant to be a matching url with my significant beloved and sun, @lunarisdog, who's associated with moon and water + blood as it's a reserved and unpredictable lycanthrope.
FUN FACT ABOUT ME : I love rollercoasters a lot and I've been really enjoying going on even the extreme kinds since summer 2022! We got to go on our local amusement park's famous and tallest + longest rollercoaster ride two times and I have a fun life goal of going on every single rides at this park! My recent fond memory with rollercoasters was in last summer at an annual end-of-summer entertainment event, my beloved and I went on the fire ball type ride and we were always having our hands out even while upside down. Because we're short and small sized, our body would leave the seat for the seatbelts to hold us and it was so much fun, lmfao
TAGGED BY : @divinehr ( thank you so much! ♡ )
TAGGING : @lunarisdog , @obrighta , @artmadc , @illholy + you !
#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ OOC . ›#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ GAMES . ›#[ <:3 ]
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You read the same five books five summers ago, over and over. Lockwood and Co. Teenage ghost-hunters in an alternate version of London. You revel in the descriptions of corpses, the horrific acts that tie the ghosts to the places where they died, the characters not too much older than you facing down these terrors that make your own fears of crossing the street a little less pressing.
You download an audiobook four summers ago, The Outsider by Stephen King. You listen to it while you sit in the basement and play with your siblings’ legos, and when you enthusiastically summarize the plot to your mother, she asks how books like that don’t scare you. You shrug and say, Well, they’re not real. Unlike when the carbon monoxide alarm went off in the middle of night, and you, an anxious insomniac even at that age, were the only one who heard it, and had to wake up everyone else so they wouldn’t die in their sleep. It turned out that the batteries needed to be replaced, but since then, you’ve lived with a deep, unshakeable fear that your inability to fall asleep is the only thing between your family and disaster. (Years later, a psychiatrist will offer to prescribe you sleep medication, and you refuse for months without explaining why.)
You take a creative writing class three summers ago, and put Mary Downing Hahn as one of your favorite authors on a google forms question. Her stories are shorter, less intense than the Stephen King you spent all last summer with, but that means you can read dozens of them in a row, soaking up stories of ghosts in many forms. You paint your nails and your eye catches on the bottle of nail polish remover on the shelf, and you wonder what would happen if you drank it, how quickly the acetone in it would kill you. You google it on your mother’s computer and the next day she asks you if you drank nail polish remover. You say no, and go back to reading, too afraid to paint your nails in case your control slips and you can’t stop yourself from drinking it. You lose yourself a haunted old church with a cemetery out back, somehow less scary than the thoughts in your own head.
You spend the night at your friend’s house two summers ago, and you two watch Fear Street in her living room. You watch the murders with ghoulish delight, hanging on every piece of information that might explain what’s going on. Someone’s head gets pushed through a bread slicer and you both gasp in disgust, but neither of you look away. You fall out of touch with that friend when you start school again, and you are afraid to look at her in the hallway, in case she is righteously furious with you for abandoning her, even though she has so many other friends unfamiliar to you, and neither of you really meant to cut things off, it just sort of happened- but still.
You’ve been listening to podcasts for a while by last summer, and you find yourself coming back to the same episode of The Magnus Archives, even months after you’ve finished it. It tells the story of a man who lived alone, hearing footsteps in the hallway and knocking on his bedroom door. He bought a sturdy lock and never answered the knocking, and that was that. Your house isn’t that old, but it creaks and settles in the night, and you listen, heart pounding, each time. But like the man, you never get up. You feared the sounds of your own house long before hearing this tale, and listening to it is oddly comforting. Someone else shares your fear. Once, though, you see a light on in the hallway through the gap under your bedroom door, and when it doesn’t go away, you hide under the blankets and don’t fall asleep for hours. The next day, the bathroom light is still on, and you pull back to shower curtain, expecting an intruder hiding there, but find nothing. Your father comes out of his own room. Oh, I left that light on again. Sorry.
You decide to learn to skateboard this summer, and you do it while listening to a survival horror story about underground cities and the beings who guard them. The White Vault. You fall and scrape your elbow, and it puts you in mind of the way the skin sloughed off the arm of a character who became a monster himself. Part of you envies him, terrible as that sounds. You lose track of time spent in front of the mirror, picking and pulling and peeling at your own skin. If only it would all just fall away. Holding scissors sends shivers down your spine, because while part of you knows they can’t cut through your skin, part of you is also tempted to try. Part of you wants to be a bare skeleton for reasons you can’t explain, and the other part of you is terrified of not being able to hold that desire in check.
#arin writes#my poetry#body horror mention#suicidal thoughts#intrusive thoughts#mental health#mental illness#self harm mention#ask to tag
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Tag Set Update
So, what's in the tag set?
I look up blearily from a spreadsheet, making a spluttering noise.
YES, talking about the tag set, not just updating it. I can do that.
Three days into Tags week, the tag set as it is looks like this.
Anime, Manga, Books and Literature!
Cartons & Comics & Graphic Novels & Celebries & Real People!
Movies & No Media!
Other Media & Theatre!
TV Shows, Uncategorized Fandoms, Video Games!
That's everything that's been seconded into the tag set.
You want to know everything that's been nominated? Well that is going under a cut because BOY is that a list.
3rd Life | Last Life SMP
Akira (Anime & Manga)
Animator vs. Animation (Short films - Becker)
Archive 81 (Podcast)
Avatar: Legend of Korra
Bleach (Anime & Manga)
Bones (TV)
Books of the Raksura - Martha Wells
Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Call of Duty (Video Games)
Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Castle (TV 2009)
Class of '07 (Australia TV 2023)
Cogchamp SMP
Content SMP
Creepypasta - Fandom
Critical Role (Web Series)
Dangan Ronpa Series
DCU (Comics)
Deltarune (Video Game)
Destiny (Video Games)
Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Disco Elysium (Video Game)
Doctor Who (2005)
Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Dream SMP
Eddsworld - All Media Types
Empires SMP
Enola Holmes (Movies)
Evolution SMP
Fallen Hero - Malin Rydén
Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes
Fire Emblem: Engage
Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Frozen (Disney Movies)
Hades (Video Game 2018)
Hamlet - Shakespeare
Hannibal (TV)
Harry Potter - J.K Rowling
Hermitcraft SMP
Hetalia: Axis Powers
Horizon (Video Games)
House Builder Gang SMP
House of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski
iCarly
Keeper of the Lost Cities - Shannon Messenger
Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Lackadaisy (Webcomic)
League of Legends
LEGO Ninjago (Cartoon 2011-2022)
Lifesteal SMP
Lockwood & Co. (TV)
Macbeth - Shakespeare
Marvel Cinematic Universe
McGillicuddy & Murder's Pawn Shop (Podcast)
Mean Girls (2004)
Minecraft (Video Game)
Night in the Woods (Video Game)
Nikita (TV 2010)
Nurses (TV 2020)
Original Work
Pocahontas (Disney Movies)
Promare (2019)
QSMP | Quackity SMP
Sherlock (BBC)
SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
SMPEarth
South Park
Splatoon
St Trinian's (2007 2009)
Star Trek: The Original Series
Star Wars - All Media Types
Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Stargate - All Media Types
Stranger Things
Supernatural (TV 2005)
Tales from the SMP
Teen Wolf (TV)
Temeraire - Naomi Novik
The 355 (2022)
The Accidental Warlord and His Pack - inexplicifics
The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
The Inheritance Cycle - Christopher Paolini
The Legend of Vox Machina (Cartoon)
The Locked Tomb Series
The Magicians (TV)
The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
The Owl House (Cartoon)
The Pack - YouTube
The Yogscast
Titanic (1997)
Triangle Strategy (Video Game)
Trigun (Anime & Manga 1995-2008)
Trigun Stampede (Anime 2023)
Victorious (TV)
Video Blogging RPF
Voiceteam and Related Fandoms
Warcraft - All Media Types
Welcome to Night Vale
Wiedzmin | The Witcher (All Media Types)
X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
전지적 독자 시점 - 싱숑 | Omniscient Reader - Sing-Shong
とんがり帽子のアトリエ | Tongari Boushi no Atelier | Witch Hat Atelier (Manga)
二哈和他的白猫师尊 - 肉包不吃肉 | The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat
人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)
光が死んだ夏 | Hikaru ga Shinda Natsu | The Summer Hikaru Died (Manga)
原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
憂国のモリアーティ | Yuukoku no Moriarty | Moriarty the Patriot (Manga)
逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
WHOOOOOO (exhausted, but with feeling) EXCHANGES.
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tag game
i love you @miseria-fortes-viros thank you
currently reading: don’t sleep, there are snakes (daniel l everett) (memoir about guy studying language isolate in the amazon rainforest, really fascinating for linguistics folks out there), the road less travelled (scott peck) (psychology/self-help book. i liked it until it got aggressively amato- and heteronormative and basically homophobic and aphobic. also a lot of christian values for the subject. so i’m really turned off it and might just stop reading)
favorite color: purple and green. i discovered at a summer camp when i was 12 and my favourite colour was purple that the two colours went well together and well. there is a pipeline i think
last song: i don’t know. tossup between something fall out boy and something the lightning thief musical.
last show: like last show i finished? i’m currently watching about 6 so i honestly can’t remember. i’m getting close to the end of shadow and bone so i’ll list that.
currently watching: i can’t remember what it’s called but it’s a chinese show about two guys (doctors) who both want the same job at an ER. so they’re doing what’s basically a paid internship for three months and only one of them is actually going to get the job. i think they should kiss. (also queer eye, brooklyn 99, anne with an e, shadow and bone, the good place)
last movie: across the spiderverse with family and friends. i had so much sodium that day
sweet/savory/spicy: savory. love me some sodium
currently working on: an anthology based on one (1) worldbuilding idea i had.
current obsession: specifically the song one day more from les mis. also the lightning thief musical. also the raven cycle which is a constant at this point. also i’ve been listening to the magnus archives and thinking about that a lot.
no pressure tags: @the-great-kraken @morelikeoscarthanoscar @fiddler-sticks @hondayota @coffinofteeth
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Rolling in 15 minutes late to pinned posts. Here will be my custom fandom tags, because I am allergic to touching the main tags.
Recent fandoms:
Arknights (f: powered by apocalypse ore)
The Locked Tomb Series (f: the inherent eroticism of bones)
Gideon/Harrow (r: i wanted you to eat me)
Bungo Stray Dogs (f: raise your hand if you’re NOT an orphan with a tragic past)
Dazai/Chuuya (r: twin baggage)
Genshin Impact (f: pay no attention to the gods behind the curtain)
Honkai Impact 3rd (f: this is a story about love and it will end with love)
Hoyo game sideblog: Theabysscomeshome
Other fandoms:
Honkai Impact 3rd (f: this is a story about love and it will end with love)
Avatar: The Last Airbender (f: it’s a new kind of world)
Critical Role: Vox Machina (f: i’m just surprised that people like us)
Daredevil (f: what about hope)
Doctor Who (f: mind the plants)
Dragon Age (f: smoke and mirrors)
Elementary (f: connections)
Fire Emblem (f: the sexy chess game)
Three Houses (f: this is fine)
Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn (f:angry birds)
Gravity Falls (f: trust no one)
Harry Potter (f: within these ancient halls)
High Rollers Aerois (f: at least they’re not cows)
Juno Steel, Penumbra Podcast (f: and then they became space pirates)
Legend of Korra (f: dorks try to save the world)
Leverage (f: five bad band)
Parker - ch: i didn’t even stab him
Eliot/Hardison/Parker - dynamic: we change together
Marvel (f: how many ragnaroks is too many ragnaroks)
Young Avengers (f: you have a supervillain on speed dial)
Runaways (f: how do you hero again?)
Loki - ch: i know what i’m doing
Norse Mythology (m: in the absence of goats)
Pacific Rim (f: and then we built a giant robot)
RWBY (f: it’s also a gun)
-Ruby - ch: it’s also a customizable high impact sniper rifle
-Ren - ch: please do nothing to the cook
-Nora - ch: thunder
-Taiyang - ch: buff marshmallow
-Raven - ch: run
-Qrow - ch: bird.exe
-Summer - ch: sad but determined bedsheet
-Ironwood - ch: and you did your very best
-Oz/pin - ch: i’m sorry
-Oscar - ch: another one of his lives
-Cinder - ch: like hunger
-Salem - ch: this isn’t a threat
-RWBY - dynamic: girl’s night
-JNPR - dynamic: just hit em with the hammer
-JNR - dynamic: this is my family
-STRQ - dynamic: he’s good isn’t he
-Ruby/Penny - dynamic: you light up my life
-Oz/Salem - dynamic: amicable divorce
-Ironwood/Qrow - dynamic: some good
-Oz/Qrow - dynamic: i’m amazed that you ever loved me
-Ironwood/Oz - r: you have to trust me
-Ironwood/Oz/Qrow - r: call me maybe
Second Citadel, Penumbra Podcast (f: paladin morality crisis)
She-Ra (f: the power of love and stuff)
Star Wars (f: where is your balance now)
Stargate Atlantis (f: city of dreams (and nightmares))
Stargate SG-1 (f: the things I’ve heard sitting in this chair)
Supernatural (f: pretty trash horror)
The Magnus Archives (f: avatar the last fearbender)
-Jo(h)n Sims - ch: the h is silent
-Martin - ch: if we were all happy that wouldn’t actually be the end of the world
-Tim - ch: rating the institute 0 on yelp
-Gertrude - ch: cackling
-Elias - ch: immortality never ends badly for anyone
-Peter - ch: leave me alone
-Jared - ch: they’re all my favorite
-Jon/Martin - r: sometimes romance is getting some goddamned rest
The Mechanisms (f: gotta say i’m in the mood for violence)
Welcome to Night Vale (f: [muffled sound of reality breaking])
White Collar (f: communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship)
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thank you for the tag @macbethwitches 🌌
what are you currently reading? i'm in between books at the moment 📚 what's your favourite movie you saw in theatres this past year? 🎥 emily (2022) what do you usually wear? shorts & tshirt in summer, hoodies & trackpants in winter. how tall are you? 165cm (i think that's 5'4?) what's your star sign? ♉️ do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event? i share a birthday with amber heard, lenin, nixon's death & tchaikovsky's completion of swan lake!
do you go by your name or nickname? nickname! rj & remy are both nicknames but i also get called orange 🍊 did you grow up to be what you wanted as a child? i'm barely grown but no i wanted to be a large number of things that are wildly unrealistic lmao what's something you're good at vs something you're bad at? i'm a very good listener & i'd like to think writer 💌 i'm bad at whistling. i can do it i'm just not good at it. cats or dogs? i have two dogs & a cat that lives with my parents 🐕
if you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this past year? i'm really proud of my journal this last year it looks just how i want it to 🧡 what's something you would like to create content for? myself. i am the something i want to create for. what's something you're currently obsessed with? bbc ghosts & the magnus archives are the big ones at the moment 🎧 what's a hidden talent of yours? i can crack all the knuckles on my hand by making a fist are you religious? i describe myself as spiritual 🔮 are you in a relationship? what gemma said! if i was you wouldn't see me grief posting all hours of the day what's something you wish to have at the moment? money 💰
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I posted 916 times in 2022
That's 503 more posts than 2021!
6 posts created (1%)
910 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@vaspider
@mostlycatsmostly
@extremesofmediocrity
@annabelle--cane
@bananonbinary
I tagged 892 of my posts in 2022
Only 3% of my posts had no tags
#cat - 250 posts
#the magnus archives - 119 posts
#tma - 78 posts
#mood - 57 posts
#queer - 53 posts
#exvangelical - 47 posts
#ex christian - 46 posts
#it's just a shadow with eyes - 46 posts
#fan art - 40 posts
#asexual - 38 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#listening to tma as a grad student is just like cool here's the horror setting perfect to fuck up me and basically everyone else i'm around
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I didn't think leopards would be EATING people's faces, sobs parent who raised you in the Leopards Eating People's Faces party
4 notes - Posted September 28, 2022
#4
help I'm 2/3 through my reread of Harrow the Ninth to read Nona the Ninth and I'm already at peak capacity for being like
See the full post
10 notes - Posted October 13, 2022
#3
cursed all-consuming academic research projects, coping by repressing all emotions, and a side of ace rights is a fantastic character archetype, and there should be more overlap between these fandoms
33 notes - Posted March 2, 2022
#2
Which was the best (or rather, least awful) option at the end of The Magnus Archives? Release the fears, whatever risk that may be? If not, speed up the end of apocalypse so people suffer less, or not interfere?
This moral reasoning problem has lived in my head rent-free since I finished listening to TMA last summer. Since I wasn’t around when the finale aired, I don’t know what debates were happening. But since it’s trending for the one-year anniversary, I want to find out!
(please support my procrastination of my actual grad school research and my desire to spend too much time making pretty graphs, thanks)
41 notes - Posted March 25, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
on a scale from The Bright Sessions to The Stormlight Archive to The Magnus Archives how healthy are your coping mechanisms for your be superpowers and also your depression
45 notes - Posted September 4, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#I don't use spotify enough for it to really have enough data on me#tumblr on the other hand can call me out#however I will stand by my choices of cats and TMA as top topics#year in review
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The good,
I got my garden setup done over Thursday, Friday, and Saturday last week! Derek and I put the raised garden bed together, and I visited a nearby nursery to get plants. There's a nursery about a mile from our house, which is super convenient. I ended up getting Italian basil, Thai basil, two cherry tomato plants, lavender, and a green bean plant. I hope the plants do well. I don't think the cherry tomatoes or the green beans will be ready to harvest for another ~60 days. It will be an exercise in patience for me, which is not always one of my strong points!
I plan on participating in Royai Week this year :) after taking last year off. I have ideas for several of the prompts, and I've started work on one! I have another random oneshot that I've recently finished work on as well.
Swimming laps a few times every week has been wonderful. That and yoga in the mornings have helped me feel really good physically.
Stars on Ice on Sunday with @004mog was incredible - one of the best performances I've ever seen! We also had front row seats, just off the ice, which was lovely. I was so amazed and inspired by the athleticism of the skaters. I can't wait to go to more live figure skating events. ❤️
Now that the weather is nice again, Westin (my cat) and I are back to our morning routine of ~20-30 minutes outside in the yard with his leash on. I've been listening to The Magnus Archives while I walk him (and while I cook and do many other things lmao) and I'm at the beginning of season two now! Highly recommend to fans of all things creepy.
The bad, and also the ugly,
Work at job #1 is SO ANNOYING right now (last week and also this week). I am planning three educational events in summer, two in June and one in July. Securing venues and securing / confirming speakers for each of these events has been a nightmarish process. I've had to chase down Everybody via phone calls because no one replies to their emails. People often do not respond to or answer phone calls either. I also really do not like phone calls, like I actually hate them and often have to write scripts for almost all the calls I make, and I've been on the phone so. Much. Since last week.
I have been capital S Stressed because of trying to stay on top of all these moving pieces of securing venues and speakers for all three educational events. So much is out of my control too, like when venues and speakers are unresponsive with scheduling questions, and I can't move forward/finalize until they respond. I'm trying to keep calm and patient with myself like, every day I just want to make Some progress even if it's not as much progress as I would hope for.
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Sicktember 2022: Day 15
Prompt: Frostbite/sunburn
Fandom: The Magnus Archives
Wordcount: 990
Summary: After a summer evening tryst on the deck of The Tu.ndra, P.eter leaves E.lias to take some sun
Comments: *remembers halfway through writing this that The Tu.ndra is a cargo vessel, not a pleasure boat* Anyway, this marks my last prompt written before the month of September. Let's see if I manage any more!
CW: None
Elias awoke on the deck of the Tundra, half naked and sweating, the sun staining his eyelids bright red.
It was a complicated series of events that had landed Elias on the boat, with no crew but the one man they'd fed to the Lonely before setting out properly. The ship continued to cut effortlessly through the water, and Elias suspected it would have continued to do so even if the autopilot hadn't been on.
The ship rocked gently and the sun beat down in violent tempo. Elias opened his eyes and shielded them with his hand, looking about. The motion made his skin feel tight and painful— sunburn. How long had Peter left him out here? How long had Peter even stayed after last night's tryst? It wasn't the kind of inquiry he typically used his powers to answer.
Choking back a groan in case Peter was watching him, Elias hauled himself to his feet. His pride flooded out of him in an instant; his head whirled and hot, urgent nausea boiled in his stomach. He staggered to the railing and rested his forehead on it, arms bent awkwardly at the shoulders and elbows. His skin hurt and his head pulsed in waves of dizzying pressure that made the sea look like it had a heartbeat of its own.
"I told you to take it easy on the wine," Peter said, his voice materializing from the nowhere-in-particular of the Lonely.
Elias clutched the railing, not lifting his head for fear of losing his balance. "You're not funny," he said, unable to muster any real venom behind the words. The boat dropped and he staggered, loosing his grip to keep from wrenching a shoulder out of place. He hit the deck hip-first and caught himself on one palm, the other coming up in a desperate attempt to keep his head steady. Pinpricks raced along his shoulders and neck and the white light of day seared his retinas. "Why," he started thickly, "is it so. fucking. hot?"
"You look like a boiled lobster," Peter said unhelpfully. He emerged from the Lonely, his reassuring bulk blocking the sun. The cool mist and sea spray were heavenly on Elias' injured skin, but faded all too quickly and he was left with only the meager relief of Peter's shadow. "Come on," he said, clapping once, "let's get you belowdecks."
"Wait a minute," Elias said, grimacing when the movement of his mouth caused his bottom lip to split. The rich, iron taste of his own blood congealed on his otherwise dry tongue and made his stomach turn. He tried to slap a hand over his mouth, but Peter caught him under the arm and hauled him up. For one agonizing moment, his shoulder stung like Peter had assaulted him with a whole bushel of nettles, and then he knew nothing but a fuzzy, nauseating roar and he couldn't breathe and the rough canvas of Peter's jacket was hell on his bare skin.
Peter's chest rumbled and his breath ghosted along Elias' cheek, and then what little sense of orientation he had clung to vanished. The world turned sideways. Elias, finding his arms free, clutched Peter's collar. "Stop, stop, stop."
"Hm?" Peter did stop, allowing Elias to get his bearings in relation to the Tundra's gentle sway. He had picked Elias up bridal-style when Elias had been too out-of-it to stop him.
"What did you do to me?" Elias demanded, or tried to demand. It came out weak and whiny instead.
Peter smiled down at him, their noses nearly touching. "Just left you out to bake for an hour or two. I should have known better, as pale as you are." He kissed Elias on the nose, seemingly delighted when Elias reared back in disgust.
Peter started to walk again and the languid sway of his gait caused his jacket to rub against Elias' bare skin. "Don't," he said, dropping out of Peter's arms. He had to steady himself against Peter's shoulder as he waited for the miserable pounding in his head to retreat and the waves of nausea to reside.
"Alright, big man." Peter stepped away. "Let's see you get down the stairs."
Elias lifted his head and strode for them. Aside from a white knuckle grip on the banister, he gave nothing away until he reached a landing. His shortness of breath overtook him then, and he clutched the rusty metal banister.
The Tundra was a lot like Peter: two sturdy, hulking bodies that nonetheless slipped past most people's notice unless Peter willed it. Even if the aesthetics left something to he desired, there was no doubt that each was solid enough to last several lifetimes without breaking down.
Unlike, apparently, this Elias Bouchard, with his thin wrists and slender ankles, a man of delicate constitution through and through. No wonder the original had been so fond of pot; he probably couldn't hold his liquor to save his life and he must have needed something to take the edge off being a rich ponce.
Peter whistled and traced a line on Elias' back. He started with the nape of the neck and, moving downwards, outlined the right shoulder, down the flank, across the top of Elias' boxers, then back up the left side. "Do you think you'll tan?"
"Oh, shut up." Elias caught his breath and straightened, extending his arms to Peter. "Since you got me into this mess, the least you could do is help me out of it." It was cooler down here and he felt marginally less miserable because of it.
Peter crouched and let Elias clamber up onto his back. "You'll be wanting to make landfall, I expect?"
"Oh, no, I love the idea of being stuck in your quarters while ill. Let's stay out another week, why don't we."
Peter's smile was audible in his voice, every word tight with the power he held. "Careful what you wish for."
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