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fuckyeahgoodomens · 2 months

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Oooh! A great Gavin Finney (Good Omens Director of Photography) interview with Helen Parkinson for the British Cinematographer! :)

HEAVEN SENT

Gifted a vast creative landscape from two of fantasy’s foremost authors to play with, Gavin Finney BSC reveals how he crafted the otherworldly visuals for Good Omens 2.

It started with a letter from beyond the grave. Following fantasy maestro Sir Terry Pratchett’s untimely death in 2015, Neil Gaiman decided he wouldn’t adapt their co-authored 1990 novel, Good Omens, without his collaborator. That was, until he was presented with a posthumous missive from Pratchett asking him to do just that.

For Gaiman, it was a request that proved impossible to decline: he brought Good Omens season one to the screen in 2019, a careful homage to its source material. His writing, complemented by some inspired casting – David Tennant plays the irrepressible demon Crowley, alongside Michael Sheen as angel-slash-bookseller Aziraphale – and award-nominated visuals from Gavin Finney BSC, proved a potent combination for Prime Video viewers.

Aziraphale’s bookshop was a set design triumph.

Season two departs from the faithful literary adaptation of its predecessor, instead imagining what comes next for Crowley and Aziraphale. Its storyline is built off a conversation that Pratchett and Gaiman shared during a jetlagged stay in Seattle for the 1989 World Fantasy Convention. Gaiman remembers: “The idea was always that we would tell the story that Terry and I came up with in 1989 in Seattle, but that we would do that in our own time and in our own way. So, once Good Omens (S1) was done, all I knew was that I really, really wanted to tell the rest of the story.”

Telling that story visually may sound daunting, but cinematographer Finney is no stranger to the wonderfully idiosyncratic world of Pratchett and co. As well as lensing Good Omens’ first outing, he’s also shot three other Pratchett stories – TV mini series Hogfather (2006), and TV mini-series The Colour of Magic (2008) and Going Postal (2010).

He relishes how the authors provide a vast creative landscape for him to riff off. “The great thing about Pratchett and Gaiman is that there’s no limit to what you can do creatively – everything is up for grabs,” he muses. “When we did the first Pratchett films and the first Good Omens, you couldn’t start by saying, ‘Okay, what should this look like?’, because nothing looks like Pratchett’s world. So, you’re starting from scratch, with no references, and that starting point can be anything you want it to be.”

Season two saw the introduction of inside-outside sets for key locations including Aziraphale’s bookshop.

From start to finish

The sole DP on the six-episode season, Finney was pleased to team up again with returning director Douglas Mackinnon for the “immensely complicated” shoot, and the pair began eight weeks of prep in summer 2021. A big change was the production shifting the main soho set from Bovington airfield, near London, up to Edinburgh’s Pyramids Studio. Much of the action in Good Omens takes place on the Soho street that’s home to Aziraphale’s bookshop, which was built as an exterior set on the former airfield for season one. Season two, however, saw the introduction of inside-outside sets for key locations including the bookshop, record store and pub, to minimise reliance on green screen.

Finney brought over many elements of his season one lensing, especially Mackinnon’s emphasis on keeping the camera moving, which involved lots of prep and testing. “We had a full-time Scorpio 45’ for the whole shoot (run by key grip Tim Critchell and his team), two Steadicam operators (A camera – Ed Clark and B camera Martin Newstead) all the way through, and in any one day we’d often go from Steadicam, to crane, to dolly and back again,” he says. “The camera is moving all the time, but it’s always driven by the story.”

One key difference for season two, however, was the move to large-format visuals. Finney tested three large-format cameras and the winner was the Alexa LF (assisted by the Mini LF where conditions required), thanks to its look and flexibility.

The minisodes were shot on Cooke anamorphics, giving Finney the ideal balance of anamorphic-style glares and characteristics without too much veiling flare.

A more complex decision was finding the right lenses for the job. “You hear about all these whizzy new lenses that are re-barrelled ancient Russian glass, but I needed at least two full sets for the main unit, then another set for the second unit, then maybe another set again for the VFX unit,” Finney explains. “If you only have one set of this exotic glass, it’s no good for the show.”

He tested a vast array of lenses before settling on Zeiss Supremes, supplied by rental house Media Dog. These ticked all the boxes for the project: “They had a really nice look – they’re a modern design but not over sharp, which can look a bit electronic and a bit much, especially with faces. When you’re dealing with a lot of wigs and prosthetics, we didn’t want to go that sharp. The Supremes had a very nice colour palette and nice roll-off. They’re also much smaller than a lot of large-format glass, so that made it easy for Steadicam and remote cranes. They also provided additional metadata, which was very useful for the VFX department (VFX services were provided by Milk VFX).”

The Supremes were paired with a selection of filters to characterise the show’s varied locations and characters. For example, Tiffen Bronze Glimmerglass were paired with bookshop scenes; Black Pro-Mist was used for Hell; and Black Diffusion FX for Crowley’s present-day storyline.

Finney worked closely with the show’s DIT, Donald MacSween, and colourist, Gareth Spensley, to develop the look for the minisode.

Maximising minisodes

Episodes two, three and four of season two each contain a ‘minisode’ – an extended flashback set in Biblical times, 1820s Edinburgh and wartime London respectively. “Douglas wanted the minisodes to have very strong identities and look as different from the present day as possible, so we’d instantly know we were in a minisode and not the present day,” Finney explains.

One way to shape their distinctive look was through using Cooke anamorphic lenses. As Finney notes: “The Cookes had the right balance of controllable, anamorphic-style flares and characteristics without having so much veiling flare that they would be hard to use on green screens. They just struck the right balance of aesthetics, VFX requirements and availability.” The show adopted the anamorphic aspect ratio (2:39.1), an unusual move for a comedy, but one which offered them more interesting framing opportunities.

Good Omens 2 was shot on the Alexa LF, paired with Zeiss Supremes for the present-day scenes.

The minisodes were also given various levels of film grain to set them apart from the present-day scenes. Finney first experimented with this with the show’s DIT Donald MacSween using the DaVinci Resolve plugin FilmConvert. Taking that as a starting point, the show’s colourist, Company 3’s Gareth Spensley, then crafted his own film emulation inspired by two-strip Technicolor. “There was a lot of testing in the grade to find the look for these minisodes, with different amounts of grain and different types of either Technicolor three-strip or two-strip,” Finney recalls. “Then we’d add grain and film weave on that, then on top we added film flares. In the Biblical scenes we added more dust and motes in the air.”

Establishing the show’s lighting was a key part of Finney’s testing process, working closely with gaffer Scott Napier and drawing upon PKE Lighting’s inventory. Good Omens’ new Scottish location posed an initial challenge: as the studio was in an old warehouse rather than being purpose-built for filming, its ceilings weren’t as high as one would normally expect. This meant Finney and Napier had to work out a low-profile way of putting in a lot of fixtures.

Inside Crowley’s treasured Bentley.

Their first task was to test various textiles, LED wash lights and different weight loadings, to establish what they were working with for the street exteriors. “We worked out that what was needed were 12 SkyPanels per 20’x20’ silk, so each one was a block of 20’x20’, then we scaled that up,” Finney recalls. “I wanted a very seamless sky, so I used full grid cloth which made it very, very smooth. That was important because we’ve got lots of cars constantly driving around the set and the sloped windscreens reflect the ceiling. So we had to have seamless textiles – PKE had to source around 12,000 feet of textiles so that we could put them together, so the reflections in the windscreens of the cars just showed white gridcloth rather than lots of stage lights. We then drove the car around the set to test it from different angles.”

On the floor, they mostly worked with LEDs, providing huge energy and cost savings for the production. Astera’s Titan Tubes came in handy for a fun flashback scene with John Hamm’s character Gabriel. The DP remembers: “[Gabriel] was travelling down a 30-foot feather tunnel. We built a feather tunnel on the stage and wrapped it in a ring of Astera tubes, which were then programmed by dimmer op Jon Towler to animate, pulse and change different colours. Each part of Gabriel’s journey through his consciousness has a different colour to it.”

Among the rigs built was a 20-strong Creamsource Vortex setup for the graveyard scene in the “Body Snatchers” minisode, shot in Stirling. “We took all the yokes off each light then put them on a custom-made aluminium rig so we could have them very close. We put them up on a big telehandler on a hill that gave me a soft mood light, which was very adjustable, windproof and rainproof.”

Shooting on the VP stage for the birth of the universe scenes in episode one.

Sky’s the limit

A lot of weather effects were done in camera – including lightning effects pulsed in that allowed both direct fork lightning and sheet lightning to spread down the streets. In the grade, colourist Spensley was also able to work his creative magic on the show’s skies. “Gareth is a very artistic colourist – he’s a genius at changing skies,” Finney says. “Often in the UK you get these very boring, flat skies, but he’s got a library of dramatic skies that you can drop in. That would usually be done by VFX, but he’s got the ability to do it in Baselight, so a flat sky suddenly becomes a glorious sunset.”

Finney emphasises that the grade is a very involved process for a series like Good Omens, especially with its VFX-heavy nature. “This means VFX sequences often need extra work when it comes back into the timeline,” says the DP. “So, we often add camera movement or camera shake to crank the image up a bit. Having a colourist like Gareth is central to a big show like Good Omens, to bring all the different visual elements together and to make it seamless. It’s quite a long grade process but it’s worth its weight in gold.”

Shooting in the VR cube for the blitz scenes .

Finney took advantage of virtual production (VP) technology for the driving scenes in Crowley’s classic Bentley. The volume was built on their Scottish set: a 4x7m cube with a roof that could go up and down on motorised winches as needed. “We pulled the cars in and out on skates – they went up on little jacks, which you could then rotate and move the car around within the volume,” he explains. “We had two floating screens that we could move around to fill in and use as additional source lighting. Then we had generated plates – either CGI or real location plates –projected 360º around the car. Sometimes we used the volume in-camera but if we needed to do more work downstream; we’d use a green screen frustum.” Universal Pixels collaborated with Finney to supply in-camera VFX expertise, crew and technical equipment for the in-vehicle driving sequences and rear projection for the crucial car shots.

John Hamm was suspended in the middle of this lighting rig and superimposed into the feather tunnel.

Interestingly, while shooting at a VP stage in Leith, the team also used the volume as a huge, animated light source in its own right – a new technique for Finney. “We had the camera pointing away from [the volume] so the screen provided this massive, IMAX-sized light effect for the actors. We had a simple animation of the expanding universe projected onto the screen so the actors could actually see it, and it gave me the animated light back on the actors.”

Bringing such esteemed authors’ imaginations to the screen is no small task, but Finney was proud to helped bring Crowley and Aziraphale’s adventures to life once again. He adds: “What’s nice about Good Omens, especially when there’s so much bad news in the world, is that it’s a good news show. It’s a very funny show. It’s also about good and evil, love and doing the right thing, people getting together irrespective of backgrounds. It’s a hopeful message, and I think that that’s what we all need.”

Finney is no stranger to the idiosyncratic world of Sir Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

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foldingfittedsheets · 3 months

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You wouldn’t blame a crowbar for an act of destruction, you would blame the wielder. For this reason I can’t be held responsible for what happened to my friend Charlie’s bed. I was merely a tool that force was applied through.

It happened like this: Connor, Charlie, and I decided to have a late night movie viewing at Charlie’s house. We watched The Hogfather and Groundhogs day and we stayed up until 4am. Then we were all too tired to drive home and crashed. I got the bed and the boys took the floor.

Four hours later, Charlie’s parents woke up. They learned that Charlie had people over. They. Were. Furious. Because unbeknownst to us it turned out they had swine flu. Charlie should had been quarantining not bringing people to his plague house. They ordered Charlie to kick us out that very moment.

Charlie came to rouse us. I am… not at my best in the morning hours. Four hours of sleep did not leave my disposition gruntled. Charlie began trying to rouse me to pretty much no avail. He pulled the covers off, shook me, tried to take my pillow, but I was a tiny ball of sleepy vicious rage. When he shook me I’m pretty sure I bit him.

I should be clear, I wasn’t really awake. A baseline function was taking place but no real actual thought. I was piloting on pure instinct and the instinct was: need more sleep. Charlie tried everything while Connor watched in bemusement.

Finally Charlie got the idea that if he physically lifted me out of bed I’d go. He managed to get his hands under my arms and start dragging me off the bed.

Two things happened very quickly. My toes wrapped around the top of the railing to his bed frame, and I went limp everywhere else. Charlie staggered and almost dropped me, because holding a floppy corpse body is much harder than a tensed one, a fact I had learned from many roughhousing attacks by my brother.

He swore and then gamely started trying to drag me backward, thinking it would be easy to dislodge my toes from the bed frame. It was not. I’ve mentioned before that my toes are strong, but Charlie was flabbergasted that their grip on the bed was so strong that he couldn’t drag me away.

I was going on pure stubborn instinct. I did not want to leave the bed. Charlie was fully committed that a 90lb gremlin wasn’t going to beat him in a contest of strength with only her toes. So he pulled. And I held on.

Both of us were shocked when there was a tortured shriek of wood and something in the bed frame cracked. It was loud enough that I actually woke up. The rest of my brain surfaced in confusion to join the lizard brain whose only goal had been not to leave the bed.

I released my toes and took my own weight and Charlie and I stared at the bed.

“You ripped the railing off!”

“Well, no, you ripped the railing off, I was just the tool. If you hadn’t been pulling on me-“

“If you had just let go! What is up with your feet?!”

We griped as I readied myself to leave his plague house, joining his parents in being mad that Charlie hadn’t told us they were sick. I drove home to sleep more.

Over the years of our friendship Charlie still maintained that I broke the bed. I disagreed and think I was only the tool by which he broke the bed. Only you can decide who bears the most sin, the dragger or the dragee.

#story #writing #ffs foibles #ramblies #this was before Connor and I were dating #so he got to watch the stubborn sleepy creature I was being a stubborn little limpet #funny story

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pratchettquotes · 4 months

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Holiday Theme: Happy Hogswatch

IT IS HOGSWATCH, said Death, AND PEOPLE DIE ON THE STREETS. PEOPLE FEAST BEHIND LIGHTED WINDOWS AND OTHER PEOPLE HAVE NO HOMES. IS THIS FAIR?

"Well, of course, that's the big issue--" Albert began.

THE PEASANT HAD A HANDFUL OF BEANS AND THE KING HAD SO MUCH HE WOULD NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT WHICH HE GAVE AWAY. IS THIS FAIR?

"Yeah, but if you gave it all to the peasant then in a year or two he'd be just as snooty as the king--" began Albert, jaundiced observer of human nature.

Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

#DEATH #albert #hogfather #discworld #terry pratchett #fairness #unfair #classism #poverty #resources #gifts #philosophy #ethics #holidays #the big issue #jaundiced observer of human nature #holiday theme: happy hogswatch

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is-this-a-sideblog · 6 months

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I am so fucking sick of Tubi and yet at the same time so grateful, so now everyone gets to hear about it:

Hogfather, which I look for every other month when my Terry Pratchett obsession gets out of hand, is on Tubi. How long has it been on there? No clue. I don't believe it was there the last time I searched for it. Unless I'm thinking of Colour of Magic...

The 1999 remake of House on Haunted Hill is on Tubi. I love Vincent Price, so I've seen the original. When The King's Speech got me checking out Geoffrey Rush, I wanted to watch this movie. Searched everywhere, but I wasn't willing to rent or buy it. That was over a year ago, so I can't really complain toooo much.

The Frighteners is now on Tubi. I know for a fact that it wasn't there about a month ago because I was so far down the Jeffrey Combs rabbithole that I bought the damn movie on YouTube! And since my journey began on Tubi with Reanimator, I combed (haha) through all of the things they had with him. Ranging from Dr.Mordid to Evil Clergyman to an episode of a horror show that had him as Edgar Allen Poe.

The James Stewart movie Bell, Book, and Candle as of 10/29 has three days left on Tubi. I like Stewart, or at least lightheartedly joking about Stewart, so I need to get on that. I took a gender studies class last semester which had a reading that mentioned that movie. I get it, it's an old film where the woman gives up her powers for a man. If it has Jimmy Stewart I'll watch it at least once.

I know you can't really tell, but I would sacrifice my first born if it meant saving Tubi should anything happen to it.

Not only am I a film major and they have a great catalog of movies for my class, but they also have so many shows and movies I am interested in. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that I use it more than the streaming services I actually pay for. I just wanted to rant for a sec. :)

#hogfather #terry pratchett #jeffrey combs #reanimator #dr. mordid #evil clergymen #james stewart #house on haunted hill #vincent price #tubi #tubi tv #geoffrey rush #jimmy stewart #idk why im taggin all of this you dont care

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crossstitchbossbitch-blog · 6 months

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Storytime: Believing in Santa, or "I bet you were a delight"

Yesterday on a lunch outing with 5 work colleagues, 3 of whom are parents of kids under 10, plus myself and another young-ish woman who are childless but have enough dealings with sprogs... the conversation turns to Christmas and belief in things like Father Christmas/ Santa, the Tooth Fairy and whatnot.

After general sharing of stories including the parents talking about when their kid stopped believing, or had it told to them by an older kid, I shared my story of having a debate in primary school (y5 or y6, so age 9 or 10) about whether Father Christmas was real.

I had read the Hogfather by Terry Pratchett by that age and shared his solution to the conundrum: that many of these beings can be described as an anthropomorphic personification, and the more belief people have in it, the more real it becomes.

I really like this notion: it gives strength to magic, superstition, beliefs and faith alike. This is how religions rise and fall, how supernatural phenomena won't occur around skeptics and how some things are just ingrained into our collective psyche, because somewhere in our subconscious there is a grain of memory or residual belief about it. It waxes and wanes with the power of collective thought and storytelling, and for those that have time for it, it is as real as you make it.

I didn't say any of that following paragraph, just said the first bit about using it in a primary school debate and it being from Terry Pratchett and the Hogfather; to which the other young woman retorted, "Oh, I bet you were a delight".

I don't know whether I'm meant to be offended. At the time I laughed, and the conversation moved on.

But honestly, I worry that it was meant in a mean way and that kind of upsets me. I have always treasured being able to circumvent the breaking of the illusion and the loss of innocence. I love the fact that reading, an activity always pleasing to grownups, had given me that gift of knowledge and terminology for something I wanted to understand.

Sir Pratchett's influence on the nerdy, the neurodivergent and the not-very-cool is profound and far reaching even after his death. Of course, he was a bestselling author and millions of people have read his works, so I assume neurotypical people have also read his books!

I don't know if I should be sad that this person who called me sarcastically, "a delight", just never got the memo about the wholesome quirky cool that is Pratchett's worldview.

Maybe I am taking offence where none was intended - I guess having a 9 year old use big words could be annoying to adults, but I think it's a good thing. I really wish I could read half as voraciously as I did when I was a child. I miss getting lost in fantasy worlds of literature and by gosh I miss Terry Pratchett. It's it just nostalgia? Maybe. But also if I lose this shit, I probably lose even more of my identity and continue down the slope of depression and anxiety that began around that age. I keep getting told I look so young (I'm 31) and I know that ADHDers do grow up slower than their neurotypical peers. It takes longer for our brains to develop. The ADHD / Autistic brain doesn't "prune" neural pathways and the overlap can contribute to positive and negative elements of cognitive differences. E.g. improved pattern recognition vs sensory overload. I would cite the studies I have looked at, but I can't be bothered digging through my browsing history.

This is one of those times where I overthink the interaction and realise I'm possibly at fault for being "too much", or reflect on a childhood memory and have it reframed as another example of me being neurodivergent and not fitting in. But at that point in time, age 9 or 10, the other kids on my debate team seemed fine with me sharing my point and explaining it, as a means to an end in completing the class debate. I thought I was welcomed.

It's only with this comment, I find myself wondering how much of my past conduct was actually too much or too weird or too different for other people.

Ironically, this lunch came after we had an hour long presentation from the EDI (Equality, Diversity and Inclusion) team at work... where they specifically outlined how feeling "othered" can negatively affect behaviour.

Cool. Cool Cool Cool.

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roydeezed · 7 months

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So I hadn't read any Terry Pratchett before, but I just started Good Omens. I thought it would be a good introduction as I would get a re-primer before diving into the second season and I would get an introduction to Pratchett through one of my favourite authours, Neil Gaiman. Every once in a while I read an authour who makes me envious and inspires me through their writing style, plot structure, or deft handling of characters, but it's been a while since anything's laid me out as much as these passages:

Pratchett or Gaiman or both(Honestly if Gaimans began or had much of a presence yet I have not realized, it's amazingly seamless), cut bone deep with this part.

David Tennant always played Crowley with a heartbreaking pathos, in which we could tell his shunning of rules and limitations stretched into him being a good soul despite being a demon, but this cracks my heart in two.

In only a few sentences, the pair are able to evoke the beauty and duality of humanity, in a way that the reader can't help but assigns their own definitions to it, while also creating a character that wants to be able to change. A demon more sympathetic to humans than the angels themselves.

I'm only 49 pages into my copy and I'm already on the verge of tears. What the fuck?

And I could end it here but genuinely it takes on such a wild degree of relevance in the current time of conflict. Is it better to sit on the fence as something goes on in a place far away that will never affect you, or do you voice an opinion or pick a side? And is that any better? Are you just feeding into that conflict? It kind of paints those of us removed from places of conflicts as those largely unaffected while the only thing that really separates us isn't the fact that we haven't given into something we deem a lower level of humanity in its barbarism, but purely and plainly circumstance.

Also, much like one of my favourite Mangaka, Naoki Urasawa, Pratchett seems to have this quality where he's able to discuss philosophy and build characters with the same token, albeit in a more humourous way.

I've come across some Pratchett lines before, like a few Hogfather clips and others through cultural osmosis, and his writing seems to have such empathy towards humanity while also being irreverent.

I am so curious and excited to find more quotes and moments from Pratchett, and I can't wait to find out if what I've stated is true in a few books or even a few more pages.

#good omens #terry pratchett

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sloshed-cinema · 2 years

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Hogfather (2006)

Terry Pratchett’s conception of Death is just such a fascinating character. In this consideration of belief and faith, he emerges as not a grim specter of the beyond alone, but as an almost naive presence, questioning the status quo that has been held in balance for so long by the fundamentally capitalist structure of Discworld. He serves as a disruptive force, doing things because he believes them to be right, not because it’s what he’s “supposed” to do it. Oh, you’re a Poor but you dared to dream? Fuck you, Establishment, you get a puppy. If belief is based fundamentally on observing the suffering of others and feeling grateful you’re not in the same plight, Death is going to rescue that Little Matchstick Girl and damn the consequences.

Hogswatch provides the perfect opportunity to dissect the dirty, imperfect, beautiful need for humans to believe and create, and how it changes with society. The Hogfather likely began as a sort of ritualistic pagan entity, all blood and wrath. He’s been diluted over time, rendered more harmless even if he has the same tusks. Even more so, he’s been harnessed by the contemporary entrepreneurial class, a tool for crass commercialism even if he does verifiably exist. Belief in a more abstract sense is explored through the Tooth Fairy’s Palace, tapping into the proto-logic of children that defies the sensibilities of the Accountants. Even if dished out in irreverent fashion, Terry Pratchett credited as “mucking about” rather than writing, it’s powerful stuff that taps into the very root of why things matter as they do. Sure, the Sun will rise again regardless of what happens to Hogfather. Chemical and biological processes will continue until the heat death of the Universe. But what does that matter if there isn’t some consciousness to look up at that flaming gaseous orb and appreciate its warming rays?

THE RULES

SIP

Every time someone name-drops Hogswatch.

Death shows up to make a gift delivery.

Mr Teatime introduces himself.

Susan reads a book.

BIG DRINK

The narrator interjects.

‘Ho Ho Ho’ workshopping.

Susan uses the Voice. What is she, a Bene Gesserit witch?

#drinking games #hogfather #christmas movies #santa movies #michelle dockery #every old bearded british character actor ever #terry pratchett #discworld #fantasy #sci fi & fantasy #comedy

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septembersung · 4 years

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The Susan Sto-Helit Theory of Education, in summary:

“There were lessons later on. These were going a lot better now she’d got rid of the reading books about bouncy balls and dogs called Spot. She’d got Gawain on to the military campaigns of General Tacticus, which were suitably bloodthirsty but, more importantly, considered too difficult for a child. As a result his vocabulary was doubling every week and he could already use words like ‘disembowelled’ in everyday conversation. After all, what was the point of teaching children to be children? They were naturally good at it.”

- Hogfather by Terry Pratchett

“There have been complaints?' said Miss Susan. 'Er, no ... er ... although Miss Smith has told me that the children coming up from your class are, er, restless. Their reading ability is, she says, rather unfortunately advanced ...' 'Miss Smith thinks a good book is about a boy and his dog chasing a big red ball,' said Miss Susan. 'My children have learned to expect a plot. No wonder they get impatient. We're reading Grim Fairy Tales at the moment.' 'That is rather rude of you, Susan.' 'No, madam. That is rather polite of me. It would have been rude of me to say that there is a circle of Hell reserved for teachers like Miss Smith.' 'But that's a dreadf---' Madam Frout stopped, and began again. 'You should not be teaching them to read at all yet!' she snapped. [...] 'I mean,' the headmistress mumbled, 'childhood is a time for play and---' 'Learning,' said Miss Susan. 'Learning through play,' said Madam Frout, grateful to find familiar territory. 'After all, kittens and puppies---' '---grow up to be cats and dogs, which are even less interesting,' said Miss Susan, 'whereas children should grow up to be adults.'" [...] 'What precisely was it you wanted, madam?' she said. It's just that I've left the class doing algebra, and they get restless when they've finished.' 'Algebra?' said Madam Frout [...] 'But that's far too difficult for seven-year-olds!' 'Yes, but I didn't tell them that and so far they haven't found out,' said Susan.”

- Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett

#discworld #susan sto-helit #i haven't thought about how much i love susan in a long time but she is simply glorious #like most life lessons found in discworld it doesn't end well to take this too literally #but as a general principle it has an invaluable place in educational philosophy

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forgottenyear · 3 years

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I tend to be identified by my projects. People will consider a project and then say, “nope – that’s a [my name] thing.” They usually mean it is unconventional and complex. Oftentimes, it also has to look a certain way.

Since “my” projects tend to be the other member’s, and since the other member of our system is the only remaining member of the system who did not fuse into me (as far as I know), it stands to reason that people do not recognize anything different about me since childhood because it is the other member that they recognize to be “me,” and not actually me.

We are me, I know. But this does not and should not erase my feelings.

What I lost – ten years ago, when the amnesia collapsed – was a sort of pseudo-integration, if you will. I was always all there was of the one me. And then that was replaced by the We.

But all that had changed were the definitions. Everything else remained the same as it always had been.

There is a possibly apocryphal story of Wittgenstein being asked why people used to think that the sun revolves around the earth when it was obvious that the earth revolves around the sun, to which Wittgenstein responded something to the effect of, “I wonder what it would have looked like if it were the other way around, though.” (In a tangential thought, I like Pratchett’s riff on this theme, in “Hogfather.”)

I knew there was something unusual about the way I solved puzzles/problems, long before the amnesia collapsed. I knew it is not ordinary for people to take in information and just wait for the answers to magically appear. I knew it was not usual for people to have to study their own solution, to figure out how and why the solution works. I recognized a detachment of my self from the solutions. I was already uncomfortable with a lack of memory for emergency situations and for my actions in response.

The change in definition neatly explained this detachment. And it also solidified the detachment.

I recently told a friend about DID. There first response was, as one may expect, the semantical argument.

If I define things differently, everything changes. The world will remain unchanged, and it makes sense either way, so where is the harm?

If I define things through the lens of DID, that may be defined as harm: it is not exactly socially accepted, the definitions displace me from myself, and the definitions tend to appear to be circular.

It appears to be a house of cards. At least it does as long as we ignore the trauma.

When we factor in the trauma, the definitions fade from importance.

We end where we began.

And this was not the point.

The point, absent the distractions, is that I feel less-than. I think the other member does not have a name of their own because they are the bearers of our name. If we look at the definition of our name, they are the definition. I am the nameless “other” member.

Yes, this does dismiss all that I am and all that I do. I am in the definition of our name. I do play an important role in who we are. I am not negligible.

But after so long of being the entirety of me, even giving up a little bit of the definition of “my” name feels like total erasure.

As I have said before, I am a child who has just been told that they have to share a treat they thought was their own. I cry and have a tantrum because it is not fair.

I am still adjusting to this. I am still discovering the intricacies.

DID seeps into every little detail. I can ignore that everything is different and suffer the incompatibility of DID-phobic definitions of reality. I can make sense of a world in which the sun revolves around me.

Or, I can challenge myself to grow and to adapt.

It is a natural part of the process to discover all the little ways the universe changes when you are no longer the center. When you are no longer the reason the sun rises.

And it is natural that it may not be or feel fair.

#dissociative identity disorder #did #dissociative amnesia

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timetraveller29 · 4 years

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Recommend me a book? Preferably Pratchett!

I've been in a major reading slump these days, which doesn't make any sense!

There are literally billions of books out there, and

I have definitely got waaaay more time to read than usual!

So why am I book barren?

To be fair, I have very specific taste. I'm through re reading Harry Potter so I don't want to pick THEM up again... I'm also bored of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series even though I adore them in my heart. What keeps me from starting anything new is the Discworld series. I haven't finished them all, so what makes me think I can just skip over to a new thing?

This chart isn't mine, sorry but credit to the original maker who is a genius. I use it to track my progress through the 41 or so books.

Here are the Discworld books that I have read. Basically I've devoured all the Death books and all the Vimes books (minus Snuff which I'm saving for last). I'll make bold and add a star on the ones that are my favourite.

Mort *

Wyrd Sisters

Pyramids *

Guards! Guards!

Moving Pictures

Reaper Man

Small Gods *

Men at Arms

Soul Music

Interesting Times

Feet of Clay "

Hogfather

Jingo

The Fifth Elephant

The Truth

Thief of Time *

Night Watch *

Going Postal *

Thud! *

Making Money

I should also add that there are a few Discworld books that I tried to read but couldn't get through.

The Colour of Magic – I felt that the narration was way too light hearted for me. I enjoyed the books with deeper themes running through, but this... This was just gags for the sake of gags. (I saw the movie though!)

Equal Rites – I tried this recently. It would've been great when I was thirteen, but right now it just irritates me with how polite it is! I hoped, with granny Weatherwax, I'd get more complicated characterization, but she seems to just hate wizards for being wizards. I'll try a few more pages but it's an uphill battle.

The Amazing Maurice ..etc – I got really excited about reading this! Then I did start it... Then I got bored. I guess I expected Death to turn up and got tired waiting.

The Wee Free Men – Arguably my first Pratchett, except I didn't know how much I'd grow to love him over time. (My true obsession only began with Mort.) From this tale, all I remember is being so annoyed with the Nac Mac Feegle's accents that I abandoned it, although I didn't mind Tiffany.

Raising Stream – I love Lipwig and I love Vimes so I wanted to love this book, I did. But it's so tiresomely sloooow... I'm sorry, I couldn't bear it.

I'd dearly love to read more Discworld (I haven't nearly finished them all!!), or even something aside from Discworld that is Pratchett (I enjoyed The Carpet People and of course Good Omens), or even something similar that I might be able to enjoy... Anything that's along the lines of Pratchett and Douglas Adams has gotta capture my attention!

Do you have any suggestions? I know I'm missing something good.

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