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tiredmamaissy · 1 year

Text

Is That So?

🔞 minors, do not interact 🔞

Main Characters: Lo’ak Sully (19) x fem Metkayina Reader y/n (19)

Supporting Characters: Ao’nung (20)

Warnings: NSFW, smut, fluff, smean dom Lo’ak, brat/sub reader, profanity, jealous/territorial behaviour, knotting, marking, oral sex, rough/make up sex, mild angst, overstimulation, minor degradation, soft ending

Word Count: 5.5k

Requested: Yes || No

Author’s Note: Hey anon! I hope this is okay. I kind of changed things up a bit because I did a similar piece but with Neteyam (Eyes For You). Enjoy <3

Synopsis: You and Lo’ak had a secret relationship. He ended things suddenly and painfully. You sought comfort with Ao’nung. Lo’ak witnesses this, intervenes and reclaims you as his.

Intro:

Lo’ak and his family sought uturu in your village a few months ago. Olo’eyktan, Tonowari, put the responsibility of teaching the sully family the ways of the Metkayina on you and his daughter, Tsireya and her brother, Ao’nung. Lo’ak proved to have a harder time adapting to the water than his siblings. As a result, you and him have spent a lot of time together, especially one on one breathing lessons. Ever since, you two have been sneaking around and spending ‘quality’ time together – keeping it a secret from everyone.

----

Lo’ak quickly repositions his loincloth and sheathes his hunting knife onto his hip. You watch him intently as you lean back onto the tree, trying to catch your breath. He’s always quick to leave after you and him finish the deed, grabbing his belongings and making an excuse before he goes. You knew it was coming soon.

“Uhm, y/n.” He looks down at your naked body. “I need to -”

“Go? Yeah. I know.” You say, turning your head away from him.

You can’t deny that it hurts you every time he does this.

“You didn’t even let me finish. My brother, he needs m-” he starts, only to be cut off by you again.

“He needs you to help him with something?” You look at up at him, raising your brows slightly. “Yeah. I know.” You repeat, feeling disappointed.

Lo’ak realizes that you’re upset – it was hard not to. He kneels, meeting you at your eye level.

“What is it? Are you upset with me?” he takes your hand in his.

Here we go again with the mixed signals. He says one thing and then does another. He says he can’t stay to cuddle but when you get upset about it he does this – grabbing your hands, acting like he cares about your happiness. You roll your eyes and shake your head, batting his hand off yours.

“Just, stop with the lies, Lo’ak. Just say that you want to leave... that you don’t want to stay, rather than you ‘can’t’.”

He looks at you dumbfounded, like you just told him you were with child.

“Yeah, and stop with the mixed signals, too. One minute you’re acting so loving and caring, and the next you act like you don’t want anything to do with me.” You spit, standing up to put on your loincloth.

“Y/n... I’m sorry. I - I should have been more honest with you. It’s – it’s not even what you think.” He drops his head, brushing his hands over his braids as he steps back. He looks back up at you, with big, glowing, golden saucers.

You look at him, searching his eyes for something – anything. To hear the words ‘its not what you think’ makes you feel that maybe – just maybe, there was a good reason behind all his actions. Something to pardon him of his assholish behavior. It brings hope to your heart, that maybe one day you can have what you want... him.

The truth is, he’s promised to another na’vi. No matter how badly he wants to be your mate – your one and only, he can’t. Not only would he be a huge disappointment to his father, but he would let down the Olo’eyktan, as he’s promised to his daughter – your best friend. Which is another reason why he never marked, knotted or made the bond with you.

Lo’ak found Tsireya beautiful – stunning, even. But her beauty compared no where near to yours. He wants nothing more than to stop sneaking around, to just be able to do something as simple as holding your hand around your friends. But the pressure from his father is immense, and the pressure from Tonowari is even worse.

He knew that inevitably this would have to come to an end. Neither of you or Tsireya know about the betrothment yet, seeing that Tonowari is waiting for him to become Metkayina first. Regardless, there were too many reasons why this wouldn’t work out.

Seeing the hope in your eyes, it dawns on him that the only way to do this would be the hard way – to hurt you. Hurt you to the point where you wouldn’t want to come back.

“I can’t be in anything serious with you.” he states. “I just don’t like you in that way.” He lies, gritting his teeth, not wanting to say the words.

He sees the hurt in your eyes, as they well with tears. He watches your brows pull closely together, and your bottom lip quiver. He hated seeing you upset – seeing you sad. It broke his heart, but it hurt even more knowing that he was the one making you feel this way.

He swiftly turns his head, focusing on the waterfall nearby, not being able to stand the sight of you hurting. He closes his eyes briefly, and exhales loudly through his nose. “You were a good fuck. But nothing more. We... we should see other na’vi.”

You’re speechless. Frozen in time. Trying your absolute hardest not to drop to your kneels and bawl your eyes out. All you can do is stare at the shell of a person who you thought you once knew – the person who took your virtue, as he walks away from you.

Lo’ak makes his way to his ikran, connecting his queue to it, before stopping in his tracks to look at his feet. “My heart has always been promised to Tsireya.” he mutters under his breath, mounting his banshee and flying away – not wanting to see the mess he left behind.

Now, that stung.

You were left behind in the jungle, alone with your thoughts. The words are like a blow to your back, strong enough to completely knock the wind out of you. You find yourself stumbling backwards, slumping against the tree before sliding down to your knees. Your heart hurt. It hurt so bad you could feel the pain in your chest. It burns, even. It’s as if he set fire to your heart and walked away to let you turn into ash. No number of tears that you shed could put it out.

You had to seek relief elsewhere – a distraction from the pain.

----

It’s been two weeks since Lo’ak left you in the jungle to sit in a puddle of your own tears. Since you've had to endure your heat in your marui pod alone, something he would usually help you with. You took that week off not only to endure it alone, but to give yourself some space away from Lo'ak and Tsireya.

Your feelings of despair have morphed into feelings of resentment. How could he do this to you? How could he just take what he wanted and leave you like that? Leave you alone in heat? It was unfair. You feel cheated. What hurt the most is that it’s your best friend of all people - driving a rift between the two of you.

It became awkward when the group finally came together, especially for hunting trips. Both you and Lo’ak pretended like nothing happened, because no one knew about your relationship to begin with. Tsireya didn’t quite understand why you were being so cold and distant, which pushed her even closer to Lo’ak.

Seeing their relationship strengthen over time drove you closer to Ao’nung. You knew he always had a thing for you from you were both kids. You also knew to never entertain it, the son of Olo’eyktan would never be allowed to mate with you. You were simply the daughter of a warrior and healer of the clan. But maybe, you could use him – just this once.

----

“Ao’nung!” you shout, trying to get his attention among the group.

He turns his head in your direction, seeing you signal him to come with your hand. He makes his way over to you on his ilu.

“Yes, sweets?” he smirks, having your ilus circle one another.

He’s always been flirty with you, calling you all sorts of nicknames – sweets, my lovely, cutie, pretty – the list is endless.

“Hi, you.” you mumble, not sure what to say.

“Need me for something?” he asks, peering at you through his brows.

You look behind him briefly, seeing that Lo’ak and your best friend are side by side, laughing with one another. It makes you... angry, more than sad. Sure, it still stings your heart, but as more time passes, vengeful feelings make their way to the forefront. You want to get back at him for doing this to you – for acting so normally.

“No. I – I mean yes.” You stutter, feeling nervous about what you’re about to do. “I... just wanted... to talk, I guess.” Your words are drawn out, lengthy and uncertain.

He gives you a puzzled look, not wanting to make any advances if you were unsure.

“Okay, my lovely. I’m here. What did you want to talk about?” he smiles, looking you up and down.

“Uhm...” you hum, looking around at the ocean, trying to find something else to focus on.

Your eyes pass by Lo’ak, who is now intently watching your interaction with Ao’nung with a straight face, patiently waiting for something to unfold. You decide to look back at Ao’nung, scanning his body up and down too. It’s undeniable – he’s handsome, well built, and muscular.

His ribs are wide, something that’s seen as desirable and admirable here. It means that he’s an experienced diver, able to hold his breath for long periods of time. Why would someone like Ao’nung, son of Olo’eyktan, like someone like you? Maybe you could let yourself dream a little; allow yourself to get lost in the man before you, even if it’s farfetched.

“Like what you see?” he asks jokingly, trying to hold back his smirk.

You drop your gaze and let loose a breathy chuckle, you didn’t realise that you were lingering.

“Actually...” you trace up his body with your eyes, meeting his gaze once more. “...I do.” You try to hide your smile as you feel your face heat up.

You watch him move even closer to you, with a huge grin on his face. He rests his hand on your thigh as his eyes search your body, stopping his gaze at your breasts.

“I like what I see, too.” he says huskily, shooting his gaze back up to yours.

His face becomes serious, as he moves his hand slowly up your thigh. Your heart starts thumping, hard. All from his simple touch.

Am I into this right now? you wonder, taking note of your racing heart.

The heat pooling in your chest confirms it for you, as it slowly makes it’s way down to your pelvis in waves. You glance down at his hand sliding up your thigh, gliding towards the flesh between your legs. Looking back up at him, you rest your hand over his, and guide it to your hip, hooking his fingers under your loincloth.

Yeah. I’m into this. You hype yourself up, trying to get rid of your anxiety.

The tension is off the charts. You can tell from the way he’s tugging at your loincloth that he would rip it off and take you right now, right here.

And you’d let him.

You slide your hand over his strake (fin like structure on the forearm), and squeeze his thick, veiny bicep. Unbeknownst to you, Lo’ak left Tsireya and Neteyam, and made his way over to you, breaking the tension with Ao’nung.

The sight makes him queasy, to see you touch another man in that way. Mostly, it infuriates him, making him see red. On top of his hot temperament, seeing this scene unfold in front of him sends him into a silent frenzy. Gritting his teeth, Lo’ak firmly grabs you by the arm.

“Y/n. A word.” He spits, pulling your hand off Ao’nung’s bicep as he rides away on his ilu.

You don’t follow him. Instead, you shoot him a puzzled look - confused as to why he’s even over here trying to talk to you.

Didn’t this man just tell me to see other na’vi?

Lo’ak looks back to see that you haven’t budged. “Y/n! Now.” He demands, shooting you that look.

You scoff loudly, shaking your head before apologizing to Ao’nung. You know what that look means, it means he’s not happy with you. It means, you’ve been a bad girl. It means…

You must be disciplined.

You begrudgingly pull away from Ao’nung’s sweet touch, becoming even angrier with Lo’ak for ruining this for you, too. You ride your ilu roughly, following him to what seems to be…

The cove of the ancestors?

You two had only ever gone there once - only because your spot in the jungle was taken by Neteyam and his mate. You chuckle at the memory. Both he and his mate were surprised to see you and Lo’ak walk towards them. You had to lie and tell them that you were teaching him a lesson in the lake nearby.

You shake your head, ridding yourself of the happy memories you and him once had. You will yourself to recall the horrible things he said to you two weeks ago. As you two approach the rocky coast of the cove of the ancestors, you dismount your ilus and stand face to face.

“What is it, Lo’ak?” You croak, already holding back your angry tears. “I thought you were done with me.”

“Why the fuck were Ao’nung’s fingers under your loincloth?” He shouts, turning his back on you.

“Really? This is what you brought me all the way out here for?” You hiss, turning around to mount your ilu.

You feel him grab your arm again, even rougher this time, and pull you into him. You see his face contorted with rage – his eyes green from envy. You’d never seen him this upset before, you could practically see his stream coming through his nostrils.

“I thought you told me to see other na’vi.” You mutter. “Go fuck Tsireya or something.” You shrug him off you, matching his rage.

“Fuck. Y/n.” He spits, clenching his jaw. “Agh. You - fuck. You really know how to piss me off.”

“Yeah? Likewise, asshole.” you mutter, rolling your eyes before turning away from him.

He pulls you back in, grabbing you by the jaw. “You’re mine.” He growls deeply, looking directly into your eyes. “Understood?”

“Is that so?” The words come out muffled as you try to rip away from the firm grip he has on your face.

“Let go, Lo’ak” you grimace, feeling his fingers dig into your skin.

Suddenly, his gaze softens, realizing that he’s hurting you. He lets go and takes a step back, dropping his head.

“I’m sorry” he mumbles, feeling terrible for handling you so roughly. “When I saw him touch you like that… when I saw you touch him like that…” he struggles to get his words out.

You can already feel yourself softening at his words. Your feelings for him were too strong to deny… to ignore. You stand there, in silence, allowing him the chance to speak – to redeem himself.

“I… I see you, y/n.” He says seriously, putting your hand against his chest.

Tears roll down your cheeks. Hearing him say these words brings too many emotions to you at once. You pull away, afraid of being hurt again. He grabs your hand, placing it back onto his chest, afraid that he’s really losing you.

“Please... just listen.” He pleads, furrowing his brows. “My father. Tonowari. They want me to be Tsireya's mate.” He shakes his head. “I don’t want this, I don’t want... her. But you know the pressure they put me under. I’m sorry I said those horrible things to you...” he drops his head again, allowing his tears to fall on the ground.

“I didn’t mean a single word.”

There you go, completely soft for the man that stands before you, all over again. Your feelings come crashing back into you like they never left. Because they didn’t. You can’t even figure out how you feel, as so many emotions and thoughts are coursing through you all at once.

“So, when I saw you and Ao’nung.” He mutters under his breath.

You witness a sudden change in his demeanour, as he embodies that of an akula. You watch as his amber eyes turn into a deep gold as they trace their way up your body, to look deeply into yours.

“… it makes me want to fuck the sense back into you” he growls.

A fire lights within your chest, just like the one he lit when he left you in the jungle alone. But this time, it burns brighter, bigger – hotter. You step towards him, maintaining eye contact. You come face to face with the akula and challenge him.

“So do it.” You taunt, brushing your chest against his. “Fuck me.” You whisper.

In an instant he has his hand wrapped tightly around your throat, backing you up against the rocky cove.

“Say that again, little one.” He snarls.

“I said. Fuck. Me.” You moan, staring up at him as you caress the arm that pins you against the cove.

He chuckles. “Let’s do it.” He drops his smile, turning you around and pushing you against the rough wall.

You let out breathy laugh, happy that you’re finally getting what you want. He holds your face firmly against the cove with one hand, and tugs your loincloth down your legs with the other.

“What? Don’t think I’ll make you mine? Hmm? Right here? Right now?” he pants into your ear as he kicks your legs apart.

His eager movements make the fire within your chest even hotter. “I don’t.” you tease.

“Watch me.” He growls, licking your ear, hurriedly untying his own loincloth.

He presses his thick cock against you whilst he kisses the nape of your neck. “We are in the most sacred place, are we not?” he mumbles into your neck, brushing his sharp fangs against your skin.

You can’t even form a coherent thought, you’re too overwhelmed by his insistent touches. All you can think about is how badly you want him to ram his cock inside of you, to fuck the sense back into you – to discipline you. The sensation of his teeth rubbing against you makes you pant, hard.

Without warning, he marks you. Sinking his teeth into your skin, sucking slightly as he draws blood. You whimper loudly, wriggling under his grasp, feeling the wetness between your thighs drip down your legs. He unlatches and licks the wound.

“Mine.” He whispers directly into your ear, pressing his bulge between your lips.

It makes your luminescence flicker, being tamed by his touch in this way. You’re panting heavily at this point, feeling your heart thump uncontrollably. If he didn’t fuck you soon, you’d lose it.

“Oh, please...” you breathe shakily, backing yourself up onto him. “...I’m still not yours.”

Teasing Lo’ak like this would only get you one thing – punished. You want the beast within him to come out and play, to obliterate you completely.

Just like that, the beast came out to play.

“Fuck, woman.” He presses your face even harder against the wall as he hurriedly rubs his cock against you cunt, coating it with your thick slick.

“Say that again.” He growls, lining up his tip with your aching hole.

He really growled this time, right into your ear. It frightens you, making you nervous to repeat yourself.

“I’m still... not you- Fuck!” you yelp, being cut off by him ramming his entire length into you in one, hard thrust.

“Not what?” he whispers breathily, pressing his cockhead firmly against your cervix.

“Ugh... f-fuck Lo’ak.” You moan loudly, melting into his rough touches.

He pulls his cock all the way out of you, leaving the tip in. “Not. What?” he repeats.

“No... please.” You beg him, feeling so empty.

“Say it, you little slut.” He growls, squeezing your hip with his free hand.

“Fuck. I’m yours. I’m yours!” you shout, trying to rock back into him.

“That’s right. You are mine.” He plants a sloppy kiss on your neck as he slams his entire length back into you.

You squeal loudly, trying to keep your noises to a minimum.

“No. Moan for me, so that boy toy of yours can hear you.” he slams his cock into you once more.

“Ughhh. Lo’ak!” you let loose a lengthy, high-pitched moan.

“Just like that” he smiles into your neck.

Lo’ak moves his hand from your hip to your cunt, using two fingers to rub circles onto your swollen clit. He’s pounding into you so roughly that your legs feel like they're about to give out. Swiftly moving his other hand from your head down to the thin cloth covering your breasts, he fiddles with it, untying the knot in a hurry. It falls off you, exposing your erect nipples.

“Every part of you. It’s all mine. All of it.” He grunts into your shoulder, rolling your nipple between his fingers.

You feel so dazed – so out of it. He’s giving you the pounding of your life, whilst massaging your clit and nipple at the same time. You couldn’t think straight, much less answer him. You close your eyes tightly, trying to focus on one sensation at a time, so not to cry from the extreme overstimulation. But it’s all too much.

“...mmn. Lo’ak... Please! It’s too fucking much! Stop!” You whine loudly, trying to pull his hand away from your clit.

“I tell you *slam* to go see *slam* other na’vi *slam* and you actually do it? You listen to me too well.” He pants, thrusting his hips even faster into you.

“Please! Lo’ak I can’t take anymore!” You cry out, moving your other hand behind you, pushing his pelvis away from you.

“Cum for me, then I’ll give you a break.” He breathes, pushing even harder against you.

Each thrust makes your lewd noises louder and louder. He sets a merciless rhythm, rutting his hips into you ruthlessly, insisting with his thrusts that you cum on his throbbing, veiny cock. He matches the speed of his fingers with his hips, fondling with your pearl even faster. You let loose little, whiney mewls as you can’t hold back anymore. Giving into the immense pleasure, you release your tensed muscles, allowing yourself to cum at last.

“Cumming! Cumming! Cumming!” you repeat loudly, hoping he’ll hear you and stop.

But he doesn’t.

Your legs are shaking uncontrollably, just like your pussy pulsing violently around his cock, releasing your essence all over it. He’s still pounding into you, feeling no pity for your trembling body.

“I came Lo’ak! Please!” you beg, clawing at Lo’ak’s arm.

“Shh, little one. It’s alright, you can take it.” He reassures you, planting hickeys along your shoulders, ramming his cock even deeper into you. “It’s what you deserve for being a little slut. For touching Ao’nung.” He growls, pressing even harder against your clit.

“No! No... please!” you cry out, begging him repeatedly for mercy.

Tears stream down your face as you sob from the overstimulation. It feels like your clit is on fire, like your bladder is going to burst – like you’re going to cum all over again.

“I feel you heating up again, my sweetheart. It’s okay, you can cum.” He groans in your ear.

You sob loudly, as your face reddens from the swelling of your sweet spot. He’s fucking right into it, trying to make you gush all over him again. You feel your body pushing him out of you, tensing up again as you reach your second climax.

“Here? Right?” he pants, bucking his hips even harder into your sweet spot.

“F-fuck! Yes! Yes! Yes!” You sob as your entire body convulses, pushing his cock out of you while you squirt your nectar all over your trembling legs.

He pulls his hands away from your sore nipple and clit, wrapping them tightly around your waist to keep your knees from buckling. You slump into him, breathing erratically as you come down from your high.

“Shh... Shh. You did well, baby.” He whispers, lowering you onto your knees. “Here is your little break...” he grabs a fist full of your hair, turning you around to face his huge cock. “...you earned it.”

He looks down at your watery, drunk eyes as he pushes his cock into your face. “Taste yourself.”

You take a deep breath, before taking his tip into your mouth. From all the sobbing and begging from earlier, you had enough spit for him to slide his entire length into your mouth easily. The head of his cock hits the back of your throat, causing you to gag. His head dips back as he releases guttural groans into the air.

“Fuck.” he moans, pulling himself out of you. “Lie down and spread your legs for me.”

You know better by now not to disobey his orders. You were too fucked out to even talk back. You lay down on the mossy rock beneath you and open your weak legs. He sees your inebriated, weary eyes, and starts to pity you.

“Alright, my love. You’re okay.” He hums, gently wrapping your limp legs around his hips.

He crouches over you, looking deeply in your eyes, realizing how far he went. He wipes your tears away with the back of his hand and leans in to kiss you softly. He moves his wet kisses down to your shoulders, planting a kiss over every hickey he left behind.

“Do you want to stop?” he mumbles into your shoulder.

You look down to see his raging erection, jumping at the sight of your slit. “But you haven’t calmed down yet.” You mumble.

“So? It does not matter.” He mutters, unwrapping your legs from his hips.

“No, don’t.” you purr, tightening your legs around him, pulling him closer to you. “Keep going.”

He stops briefly, searching for your bluff in your eyes. You pull him his face closer to yours and kiss him feverishly. “I want you inside me, Lo’ak.”

You both watch as his cock disappears slowly into your body, inch by inch. Your gazes meet again now that you are forehead to forehead. He rocks into you languidly, as he caresses your thighs. Your breath hitches when his pelvis meets yours.

“You okay?” he asks, worried that you’re in pain.

“Mhm, feels good.” You breathe into his mouth.

“Y/n.” he states, thrusting lazily into you.

“Mmm?” you hum, closing your eyes to immerse yourself in pleasure.

“Will you be my mate?” he pants as his hips buck into you a little faster.

Your eyes fly open, surprised that he asked you that. He can see the shock in your face and kisses you gently.

“I mean it. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what happens if I go against my father. Or Tonowari.” He pants between kisses. “I want you to be mine. For life.”

Here we go, crying again. The words touched your heart in a way you’ve always wanted his words to. He pulls away and hushes you, wiping away your tears once more.

“Don’t cry, my sweetheart.” He whispers, leaning back in to kiss you once more. “You mean more to me than anything else.”

You feel like you can’t get the words out – you’re so choked up. Instead, you just tug at his queue, bringing it over his shoulder.

“Say the words, my love. I don’t want to do this if you’re not sure.” He stops his movements, sitting up slightly.

You nod quickly, still tugging at his queue. “Yes, Lo’ak. Yes.”

His eyes lit up as the corner of his lips curved upwards. Lifting your head with one hand, he uses the other to stroke the length of your queue, bringing it over your shoulder. Taking his queue in your hand, you bring them together, watching them intertwine with one another. You both take a sharp breath when the bond is made, feeling each other’s breath, the thump of your hearts... the love you have for one another.

“I see you, my mate.” Lo’ak croaks, holding back his tears.

“I see you, ma Lo’ak.” You cry, kissing him passionately.

His hips rock into you once more, picking up speed quickly now that he can feel your arousal – your desire for him. He’s so deep inside of you it feels like he’s about to pierce through your cervix, right into your womb. He’s never gone this deep before. You struggle to catch your breath, as you look up into the sky to see the eclipse occurring.

How long have we been at this?

The fire in your chest is overflowing, trickling down your spine right into your womb. You feel sensations you’ve never felt before. You’re synced with him, feeling his climax quickly approaching. Not only that, but you can feel something else – something bigger asking for permission to come inside of you. Worried, you search your mates’ eyes for answers.

“Feel that?” he grunts, pushing his knot against your entrance. “’tis my knot. You think you can take it?” he asks breathlessly, through pursed lips and furrowed brows.

He’s never knotted you before. He always made up some excuse before, about why knotting is off the table. All you can muster up the energy to do is nod, as you open your legs even more to accommodate him.

“Wait. Did you get your heat?” he pants, trying to figure out the chances of getting you pregnant if he knots you right now.

“I – I got it... the week you left me. Mmn... The week that I took off - Ugh!” You whimper, feeling his knot trying to burrow its way inside of you.

“Fuck. Y/n. You should have told me.” He grunts, pushing his pelvis into you even more.

“I didn’t know! I thought... you told me... Oh – oh shit. Lo’ak that’s too big!” you blabber as your head feels cloudy. “I can’t –”

“Only I can calm your heat, y/n.” he grits his teeth, gripping your hips and pulling them closer to his.

Images of Ao’nung calming you during your heat unwillingly flashes through your mind. You can feel the jealously bubbling in Lo’ak’s chest - his territorial urges taking charge. He’s going to knot you, whether you like it or not. You hold on tightly to your mate, bracing yourself for Lo'ak to claim you as his.

You feel your pussy stretch to incomprehensible lengths as he shoves your hips down onto his thick, purple, veiny knot. Your moans start as low, lengthy mewls, eventually morphing into loud, strained grunts as it pops inside of you. You bury your face into his neck, breathing in his natural scent.

His cock throbs, spurting thick ropes of warm, sticky seed deep inside your womb. You hear his guttural groans and grunts right next to your ear, as he rocks into you every so often, ensuring to fill you to the brim.

“Mine.” He growls, slumping onto you.

“Lo’ak.” You croak, barely being able to breathe. “You’re squishing me.”

“Mmm.” He groans, rolling onto his back, bringing you with him.

You’re on top of him now, laying stomach to stomach, whilst your face is nestled into his chest. You take a few deep breaths, before closing your heavy-lidded eyes.

----

After caring for one another, you both make your way back to the village. Arriving at the shore, you dismount your ilus and walk hand in hand to the mangroves where you meet the displeased gaze of the Olo’eyktan and Jake. Behind them stood the rest of the sully family, and Tonowari’s family.

Everyone is trying to get a glance at the two of you through the two big-bodied men that stand before you. You both bow, sweeping your fingers from your forehead towards them, acknowledging their presence. They look at each of you, and then down to your intertwined fingers. Jake is visibly resisting the urge to skin his son in front of everyone, and Tonowari is giving you a very disappointed look. Ronal steps forward, looking the two of you up and down as she circles you both.

“Tonowari. What is this?” she yells, causing both your ears to lay flat.

Lo’ak lets go of your hand and steps in front of you.

“We are mated...” he mumbles, looking at his feet. “...for life.”

“That’s enough.” Jake interrupts, hissing under his teeth.

Lo’ak shakes his head, stepping back to hold your hand once more. “It is done. Before Eywa.” he looks up at his father, and Olo’eyktan.

Ao’nung makes his appearance, walking swiftly from behind his father, eyes locked tightly onto Lo’ak holding your hand. Lo’ak strides forward, almost lunging at Ao’nung. You pull him back to you, and tug on his arm.

“Don’t. Were already in a lot of shit, Lo'ak.” You whisper, squeezing his hand tightly.

“I don’t care. You are my mate, now.” he whispers loudly, hoping Ao’nung and the rest can hear him.

“Is that so?” you mutter under your breath, dropping your head to hide your grin.

Tags:@jakexneytiri @sweethoneycn @deadgirl02 @keijis-wifey @pandorxx @swiftielivvie @teyamfangirl @bl-lover-yaoi @sooebear @vanillawhale @bxnnywriting @athenachu @trashboat-the-raccoon @avaixe @itssiaaax @qweq-6802 @rodeosayu @girlpostingsposts @jakesullysbabygirl @rinloversworld @agelsully @zetey @boooogieman @jiafeimagic @eywascall @yawneneteyam @weirdomcu @pandxrastars @eichenhouseproperty @camgod78 @kibiscribbles @bedofpearls @kurtsworld096 @audrinawf @otukirey @deexdeez @c78r @bby-bo @neteyamsmate4life @wheniseeyouigogonutz @sullymenrhot @jakescumdump

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fishermanshook · 1 month

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LOVING YOU IS ALL I NEED!

( batter , first officer & forward relationship h/c's ) + gn!reader

# think of this as a pt. 2 to this fic , grammar and spelling warning

INTRO

How these men show their undying love for their one and only—you.

꒰wc꒱ 1.1k

✦— THE BATTER

Ganji Gupta didn’t dare dream of the day he’d find his one and only, his true love, someone to grow old and tired with until his heart gave out on itself. Unfortunately, his newfound situation halted any progress he could’ve made.

That was until you arrived at the manor with a letter to hell in your hands. That was until he got to know you better. That was until you shared your first kiss on New Year’s Eve. Ever since then, he’s been completely and utterly yours.

Ganji Gupta is the type of man to show his love and devotion to you through meaningful Acts of Service. There’s little to nothing the Batter wouldn’t do for you. He isn’t above taking hits for you in matches when needed, and he will use his last ball to save you from getting sent back to the manor.

Ganji Gupta who, as much as he loves being on his own, gets a bit lonely at times. Therefore, he loves nothing more than to spend some Quality Time with you. He prefers long walks around the perimeter of the manor and also enjoys getting to rest his head in your lap as the two of you lounge about.

Ganji Gupta teaches you the recipes passed down to him by his Mother. It makes for a great way to spend time together whilst making sure he doesn’t forget them in the process. Cooking with you brings back bittersweet memories and reminds him of his Mother all too much.

Ganji Gupta frequently wakes up from relentless night terrors. He’s heard of other Survivors describing their own experiences with them but didn’t think it would happen to him. Now he finds himself waking up in a cold sweat and alone in bed with nobody to calm him down. This leads to him sleeping in your dorm room more often than not in a way to help combat these nightmares. Hopefully, he can get some rest tonight thanks to your help.

✦— FIRST OFFICER

Who doesn’t know the brave young man Jose Baden? The Sea Knight who wields a pocket watch said to have been blessed by Posiden himself, the artifact that always ensures smooth sailing? The First Officer is punctual, humble, and always knows what he wants. He just didn’t expect it to be you.

Nonetheless, the heart can guide a man better than any map can. He may indeed have fallen for you first, but you undeniably fell harder. Although, who wouldn’t with the way he constantly sweeps you off your feet?

Jose Baden is always true to his words when it comes to you, and therefore showers you with Words of Affirmation. It makes communication between the two of you much easier when there’s nothing to hide. And there are only so many words to describe his love for you, so we’ll have to start from the top and work our way down.

Jose Baden, who cannot keep his hands off you. No matter where the two of you are. Physical Affection is this man's specialty and has been embedded into his DNA. It's the simple things like his pinky finger being entwined with yours or his arm around your shoulder, holding you close.

Jose Baden isn’t afraid to show his love for you in front of others and would never shy away from it. It’s truly a gift to be head over heels, so why hide it? Why not show off what he’s got and everything that’s so precious about ‘em?

Jose Baden who can’t help but take a hit for you in games. He doesn’t ever want to see your blood spilled, and would rather have his coat on the map instead. He’s ready to face the stern talking you’ll give him after the match, but you’ll patch him up anyway.

Jose Baden doesn't like admitting the fact that he misses the sea badly. The things Jose would do just for an evening back on the ocean are wild and many. The closest thing he's got is Lakeside Village, but even the calming waves that brush upon the shore can't heal the pain in his heart. The Officer will admit his feelings to you in an act of desperation and comfort. And comfort he receives from you. From cuddling and listening to him rant about the ocean for the 100th time to peppering his face with soft kisses that seemingly never stop.

✦— FORWARD

Said to have been the creator of Rugby himself, you always want William Ellis on your team. He successfully lifts the spirits of all his teammates while headbutting into the Hunter just before they use excitement. It's the thought that counts, right?

To have William in your corner means to have someone who is with you through thick and thin. Someone who will stick by your side until the end of time itself. And until you can finally realize just how much the Rugby Star adores you.

William Ellis who can’t help but hold you close. Physical Affection is this man’s go-to for showing how much he loves you. Like Jose, he will never feel embarrassed or ashamed when showering you with his form of love and affection. He’s either got an arm around your waist or your hand in his—there’s no in-between.

William Ellis loves Giving Gifts just as much as he loves Receiving Them. While the Forward’s not the best at picking out pre-made gifts, he is the best at making ones straight from the heart. Using his clues and fragments, he’ll craft something he finds worthy of gifting you. Whether it be something like a small, red box in the shape of a heart or a bracelet that has your and his initials on it, the gifts are all made with you in mind.

That being said, William Ellis will treasure anything you gift him in return. And that can be anything. Silly little notes passed underneath the table during dinner. A beaded anklet that has left a tan mark because he never takes it off. Or a smaller version of his Ruby ball with every stitch being almost exact.

William Ellis who’s afraid he might not be good enough for you. Who fears that one day he may be forgotten by everyone he’s ever loved. Maybe that’s why he works so damn hard. To prove to himself (and others) that he’s worth remembering. Fortunately, there’s no need to go the extra mile when it comes to you. William’s proven himself more than enough already, hasn’t he?

note: a little gift for all my Ganji, William, and Jose lovers out there. made 4: @rieuvie + @williamkisser + @ch6douin +@jklovu + @5ku11h34rt

(2024) ©️fishermanshook — do not steal, translate, plagiarize, or repost my work on any other platform

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loraluna · 6 months

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Rating Rune Factory Children

(Because I play favorites)

Rune Factory (1)

1/10

Cute but not much else to say. You have to wait a ridiculous amount of in-game time to get one short cutscene meeting your genderless nameless child (Game doesn't even bother to give them pronouns) and then never get to interact with them again. Disappointing.

Rune Factory 2

8/10

A unique idea that the series has yet to implement again, this game let you play through the second half of the game AS your child from the first half, and honestly It was a cool concept even if the gameplay got a little wonky and unbalanced near the end. The game also introduced the first female protagonist to the series, Aria (left). She and her twin Aaron (right) actually had some personality of their own and even had unique interactions with the other villagers and children of the town. Cool concept and solid designs. I just wish you could interact with them a little more as a parent before the timeskip.

Rune Factory Frontier

7/10

I may be a little biased here, as this was my intro to Rune Factory, but I love these kids. Default names; Leif and Leona, are the first, and so far only, RF children you can interact with at multiple stages, these kids have several cutscenes documenting different milestones and are quite cute to watch. Once they reach the final stage, they don't do much besides toddle around the farm and look cute. You can gift them certain items but that's about it. Still, It's refreshing to watch your kid grow over time as apposed to the usual montage you get with RF kids.

Rune Factory 3/ Rune Factory 3 Special

3/10

They get bonus points for being the first in the series to let you have multiple kids (up to three) problem is, there's not much difference between em. The birth of each one plays about the same and while there's technically some different "personalities" it's more like each kid get a random lot of four or so unique lines of dialogue and that's it. There are also just the two sprites so if you have two or more of either gender they'll be identical, no matter the age difference. You can't gift them and they don't sleep, leave the house or even show up on the map. Honestly they're little more than cute house accessories.

Rune Factory Tides of Destiny/ Rune Factory Oceans

4/10

First off, please pardon the crappy quality. This game doesn't have traditional character portraits so it's hard to find decent quality pics. Tides of Destiny kiddos were the first in the series to inherit physical features from the player's spouse. (Pictured are Electra's daughter and Sonja's son) They appear to use the same child models as Frontier with some minor cosmetic changes but I liked Frontier's kids so no complaints there. I do wish they had real portraits and more dialogue but they're okay. At least they'll accept gifts and the events leading up to their births are quite wholesome.

Rune Factory 4/Rune Factory 4 Special

9/10

RF4's kids are darn near perfect. Luna and Noel have identical dialogue but they have more to say than any RF kids before or possibly since. There are TONS of unique exchanges and events with them, they participate in festivals, and most interesting of all, you can equip them with gear and take them adventuring! These babies are really something special. If I had to pick one complaint, I'd say I wish they looked liiiittle more like their concept art. They look like they both got aged up a little, which isn't bad but they do look barely younger than some of their possible parents...

Rune Factory 5

9.5/10

Rune Factory 5's children are right up there with Noel and Luna, but they get a slight advantage when it comes to customization. Like RF3 this game lets you have up to three kids, but unlike that game, these kiddos are treated like actual characters. Depending on your choice of spouse and your answers in a particular conversation, your kids can have a variety of looks and personalities, including the fan favorite feature of inheriting hair and eye colors from the spouse, and continuing along that customization train, these babies can once again go adventuring! My one, one small gripe...It'd be nice if your eldest could grow a little by the time their siblings are born. Heck, it'd be cool if the villagers kids could grow too. I'd love to see teenaged Julian and Hina~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So there's my thoughts on the Rune Factory children. I hope future installments continue the trend of more giving their kids more personality and better customization, maybe someday we'll even see kiddos inherit traits from non-human parents? How cool would that be if your kid could actually look half elf or mermaid or furry wereanimal? XD

If you agree with me (or strongly disagree) feel free to comment. Always up for discussing my favorite franchise~

#rune factory #rune factory 2 #rune factory 3 #rune factory 4 #rune factory 5 #rune factory frontier #rune factory tides of destiny #rune factory oceans #rf4 special #rf3 special #rf

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ineffable-gallimaufry · 2 months

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characters in les mis (musical) ranked on how good their introductions were:

jean valjean: 9/10 he actually says his name and like . conveniently gives us his backstory while talking to javert which was nice

javert: 10/10 literally says his name and then says "do not forget my name" so forcefully i managed to not forget his name immediately so that was good

the bishop: 5/10 solid but not enough context. could've used a whole five minute song about only him beforehand tbh (kidding i swear)

fantine: 9/10 she does have people say her name which is good, she doesn't say it directly but like she does fill in her situation well. also i would feel bad for giving her a low score since her intro is literally her having a horrible time

bamatabois: 3/10 he never says his name and he's a huge asshole . only gets a three because it conveyed his character well + javert was there. but he also gets a three because i hate him

fauchelevent: 10/10 because. it's the runaway cart man . best song in les mis. also they do say his name so it works

cosette: 10/10 her name is said over and over again before she's even onstage + her introduction really shows the bleakness of the situation she lives in with the thénardiers

mme thénardier: 8/10 she doesn't say her name but it is a good introduction nonetheless . 8/10 instead of 9/10 because it isn't like. my favorite favorite but it is good

eponine: 6/10 controversial but sorry. i feel like they introduce us to eponine as kind of a brat (with her name which is nice) and even maybe as helping her mother directly to hurt cosette whereas we don't get a good enough reintroduction to her character in act two that gives us a better idea of her character as someone who's arguably just as hurt by the thénardiers as cosette. it's still okay though

m thénardier: 10/10 they say his name and then immediately he gets master of the house? it's a good introduction to the fact he's a big old thief and it's also kind of a bop. no notes

gavroche: 10/10 his name is in his first line. and it gives you a very good impression of him. i don't have any notes alright . i mean they kinda give the impression he's not related to thénardier but i can't fault them for not including that since it's not a HUGE plot point

enjolras: 2/10 i genuinely do not think anyone ever adresses this guy by name. i only remembered he was supposed to be there after i watched the play and then had to hunt down the actor's name in my playbill so i could see if i remembered him. like he just felt like another member of les amis tbh. two points because at least he's still characterized well

marius: 5/10 we hear his name from enjolras and because we get no context for his life before this point he feels so damn uninteresting... like all we get is the "ooh marius is in looove" without ANY context of his life outside of that. literally just there to fall in love with cosette and it shows

les amis de l'abc: 4/10 i am grouping them together because they literally get NO distinguishing qualities from each other in their introductions. grantaire making fun of someone is alright for things grantaire would do but like. can we not give that to courfeyrac?? why are all of them such non characters in this introduction?? like at least we get a few name drops from enjolras but i am just not really a fan. courfeyrac should be in here more since marius lives with him but i guess that doesn't matter because marius had his whole backstory surgically removed to make room for the brick to not be a million year long play. whatever. probably why lesgle gets nothing either despite the fact he introduced marius to les amis. didn't know this got on my nerves so much

patron-minette: 5/10 i mean. it's AN introduction but also to be fair i can't get mad too much since they're not major characters+ they are kinda interchangeable in the end. only montparnasse got a name drop but they did also keep my favorite eponine moment largely intact so. eh. whatever they get a five for being mediocre

#les mis #les miserables #these are just my opinions and they're very biased (see the fact that fauchelevent gets a 10/10)#but i'll put em out there lol

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lunarw0rks · 10 months

Text

Torn | Part One

Summary: You're Philip Graves' secret lover, and it's complicated, to say the least. When your new 141 ally, Simon Riley, catches your eye, you're forced to make a decision.

Warning(s): explicit content (18+), mentions of smut, canon-typical settings, fem!Reader, no use of y/n

Word Count: 1k

A/N: this is a short series! Not as detailed as my full fics, but will have a few parts leading up to the conclusion. Part one is more of a short intro than actual plot, but whatever. This was requested! @redhoodxsupergirl

꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GRAVES MASTERLIST // have a request? ⋆ ⚘ 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ next chapter | ao3 ver.

His lips trailed from the crook of your neck, then down the middle of your cleavage—the skin exposed from the tight grip he had on the neckline, pulled so hard it would fray the edges. For the first time in weeks, you two had time alone, to be just a tiny fraction of an average couple.

Your fingers ran through his short blonde locks, staring down at him as his mouth trailed even further, tugging on the waistband of your jeans.

He was so close to finally getting somewhere, so hot and heavy within only minutes of being in his office.

The phone on his desk rang, halting all movements and feelings of need. He pressed one last peck on your stomach, then you heard the stomp of his boots to the blaring phone.

“This is Graves.” Next, the click of him removing it off the hook, the faint mumble on the other line. With a sigh, you fixed the shirt's placement, sitting up from the cot with an impatient expression. Of all the times for a phone call, it had to be now.

Based on his solemn expression, his lips tightened into a line, he wouldn’t be hanging up and finishing what he started. It was yet another urgent message, then most likely he would be sent on a mission halfway across the globe—something you’d learned how to get used to by now.

With a few nods to himself and a few hums of agreement, he disconnected the call, throwing his jacket back over his shoulders.

“What is it now?” You asked, sliding off the mattress of his cot.

“They need me at the border.” Graves began gathering his intel on his desk, then stuffing his gear into his pack.

“You should suit up too, Shadow.”

He was a completely different man in the field, and definitely not the one you had come to love.

Yes, the job would always be more important. Yes, you were just as absorbed in the counter-terrorism work as he was, but did that diminish the sting it gave you? Not one bit. Laughing with his Shadows like a frat boy, acting like a cocky bastard. Though he was only trying not to draw suspicions surrounding your relationship, it still made you feel insignificant.

Some evenings, it seemed he paid more attention to General Shepard and his idiotic friends than you. The worst of it, each time you tried to be intimate, at least half the time, you were interrupted or rushed before any satisfying conclusion.

What a way to live, and you were stuck in it.

He was your boss; your arrogant, enticing boss. All the traits that drew you into him at first now became qualities of him you despised. But you couldn’t stay away. Maybe it was risking your job, or your military record, or even breaking his heart—you still cared, no matter what he did, it seemed.

There was no time to dwell on it now; you were being sent on a mission in South America, with him and all those Shadows.

—

The blades of the chopper sent stands of your hair flying, whipping past your eyes.

It was only a game of follow the leader now, the blob of Shadow soldiers meeting at the mission point. This was it, you’re going to meet your new partners. Perhaps, they would be civil, clean-cut soldiers who mean business.

Or, unqualified and bureaucratic—a persistent theme in your mind as of late.

It could be Graves’ pessimism getting the better of you, finally spending so long with him that it has infected you, changed you. Who knows? He spent so long as your superior, that even when romantically involved with him, his voice became your inner one, and it was not a pleasant one to listen to, for the record.

Graves began introducing each member in front of you, four of them in front. They must be the big players, noticeably one of them, who really was a big player. Their expressions were stern, but their Captain remained friendly enough, at least.

Captain Price; a good ally to have, that you could tell.

Soap MacTavish; the man you would call to get a job done seamlessly.

Kyle Garrick or “Gaz”; his age didn’t fool you, his resilience seen for miles.

And then, the one who interested you the most, though no part of him was visible except for some tattoos on his forearm. Even the insignia for their Task Force—141, if you remembered Philip’s briefing correctly.

Simon Riley… But no one dared to call him that. Instead, it was Ghost.

You had been staring too long, so long Graves nudged you, “this is my second in Command.” He gave you a passing look, forcing you out of this trance. He introduced you, your name, and callsign since it was clear you were going through something right now. That something? Graves didn’t know yet, and quite frankly he was too dense to ask.

This was wrong, utterly wrong, to feel this way when looking at a new ally. One who looked dead in the eyes, at that.

Your hand is outstretched, the gesture being second nature from your time in the service. “Nice to meet all of you. Hopefully, we’ll do some… good work.” Ghost’s gloved one met yours, leaving a sting on it even after it ended, from just how firm his grip was.

The formalities escaped your lips with ease, but your mind was still wondering. You chalked it up to being deprived for so long, but that didn’t change who it was directed at. Of all of them, this one? Maybe it was because he was the largest, the most secure in himself.

Perhaps it was the tattoos, the mystery of not knowing what was under his balaclava…

The Shadows clustered behind you two had dispersed, as did the rest of the Task Force. “You feeling alright? I need you here.” Graves now touched your arm with just one finger, a gesture that wouldn’t draw a lot of suspicion if someone saw it.

You shook your head, not at him, but at the thoughts in your mind. It took several seconds before you could form a sentence.

How were you supposed to get any work done? Could you even trust yourself to be alone with either of them anymore, let alone have a hidden relationship with one of them?

It wasn’t cheating if they were only thoughts… right?

“Yeah, I’m alright.” Such a liar, and a horrible one at that. Luckily, Graves had always been awful at social cues. For once, his ignorance was working in your favor.

You were far from alright.

The silver lining? Your dreams would have some sustenance tonight.

#mw2 #mw2 fanfic #call of duty #simon riley #task force 141 #simon riley x reader #ghost mw2 #task force 141 x reader #simon riley smut #philip graves x reader #philip graves

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callmearcturus · 2 years

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==> You have three doors

DOOR ONE: Reading Homestuck using the Unofficial Collection

Pro: Everything is immaculately preserved at the highest quality. Official HS took beautiful animations and turned them into 360p fuzzy horseshit. UHSC has everything in HQ.

Pro: Navigation controls. I set everything to "auto open pesterlogs" and then use arrow keys to go to the next page when I'm done. Very smooth experience.

Pro: You can fucking mod out the worst slurs from early Homestuck, which is a relief.

Pro: It maintains the browser games as well as the incredible formatting tricks of Cascade, A6A6I1 and others.

Pro: It's literally officially endorsed by the creator as The Way to read HS.

Con: Windows and Mac only, not mobile, unfortunately.

Con: No matter how many times I read the explanation for First Time Reader Mode, I'm always still a bit confused.

Con: The Troll quirks.

DOOR TWO: Experiencing Homestuck with Lets Read Homestuck

Pro: The entire comic read to you, with matching visuals, is really a fucking treat and probably the most low effort way to experience it.

Pro: CANNOT OVERSTATE HOW FUCKING GOOD THE ACTING IS SOMETIMES. OFTENTIMES. Duckum's Rose performance is more deserving of oscars than most shit I've seen get awards. Karkat's performance is always a delight but the emotional rollercoaster of Murderstuck? Holy shit. Also I did not like Terezi until LRHS, now I love her.

Pro: Sometimes, Homestuck is hard to read. Making sure you find every secret in every walkaround? Trying to figure out what the trolls are saying through their quirks? Oh my god the fucking SBaHJ interludes? There are parts of the Meenah walkaround I totally missed bc I could not parse the quirks. LRHS makes it a complete and total non-issue.

Con: In my opinion, it takes them a while to find their footing. Act One is just kinda rough. Act Two is better, but things become fantastic pretty much as soon as Duckums takes over as Rose.

Con: It's not complete. LRHS is up to the Trickster Arc deep deep deep in Act 6, so they're nearly there, but the last 15% of the comic, you have to read yourself.

Arc, what the fuck: I have all of LRHS ripped as MP3 so I can listen to it like an audiobook. Lemme know if you want the files.

DOOR THREE: Official Homestuck Website

Pro: It does work on phone and tablet.

Pro: You can pair it with the HQ upload of all HS Flashes and have an okay time.

Con: The walkarounds are removed. The entire game of Jane's land is a fucking YOUTUBE VIDEO. The special effects for Cascade and A6A6I1 and even the stupid horse segments are gone. The entire gravity of the Retcon is removed. They couldn't even fucking preserve Gamzee's dumb potion shop bit. What the absolute fuck.

Con: EVEN THE FUCKING UPLOADS THEY DID LOOK LIKE HORSESHIT. Compare the official intro of Rose's world to a reupload of the original flash. How the FUCK was this allowed?! Who OKAYED this?!

This is garbage. Homestuck is a multimedia experience of prose, text, music, animation, interactive storytelling, and Viz Media fucked it.

The choice is yours. I suggest Door Two, but I'm a podcast person before everything else. Door One is a very very good door once you get going. Door Three is if you HAVE to use mobile. but please, fuck, use the All Flashes video, I'm begging you.

OH BUT WHATEVER OPTION YOU CHOOSE: stop at Act 7 or Credits. Do not read the Epilogues or the post canon stuff.

#homestuck #this is a better version of my other post tbh #whomstve

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bbyquokka · 1 year

Text

5:15 pm (hjs)

genre: timestamp, fluff, angst (if you squint) — MDNI!

warnings: gn! reader, established relationship, insecure reader, pet names

words: 1.2k ~ (1278)

a/n: i was watching the intro vid to 5 star, saw jisung's hair, fell in love with him all over again and this is the result. direction of it wasn't planned, it just happened because my brain said so

♡ m.list — ♡ you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

“let me braid your hair!” you whine for the nth time. jisung let's out a soft sigh before pushing his round glasses up to rest on the bridge of his nose.

“why would you want to do that?”

“because it's so pretty and long now. i just want to braid it and put it in a ponytail. i wanna play with your hair, ji before you get it all cut short.” you say with a pout.

“fine! but just this once, ok?” he laughs softly as he watches you rush to the bedroom to gather accessories, hair ties and a brush.

during the process, jisung moved and situated himself on the wooden floor by the sofa. you rush to him, sitting on the sofa and spreading your legs to allow him to shuffle between them.

he turns his attention to the tv as you grab the brush. you gently run it through his long, silver and grey hair to free his hair from any knots. you place the brush down by your side before gently running your fingers through it slowly.

your fingers become lost in the sea of hair. the soft strands tickling your fingertips. jisung hums softly in contentment, his body relaxing at the soft and gentle gesture.

“does that feel nice, ji?” he hums softly as he nods. you smile to yourself before reaching around to the front of his face. you gather his hair together, leaving a few strands to hand in front of his face.

you part his hair down the middle, gathering one side up into a high pony. you giggle to yourself as you secure the strands in pink elastic before doing the same to the other side. you add in a few colourful butterfly clips before handing jisung the mirror.

“whatcha think?” you giggle. jisung takes the mirror, his brows furrowed together as he checks out the hairstyle.

“babeee!” he whines, “you said you'd braid it.”

“i know, i know! but you look so adorable!”

“really?” he looks up at you to which you hum before leaning down and gently kissing the tip of his cute nose.

“really really. but i will braid it, don't worry ji.”

you take out the clips and the elastics before brushing out his hair again. you run your fingers through it a few times, taking in the softness and how healthy and long his hair currently is.

“i love your hair. it's so soft and healthy.”

“the advantages of having good quality hair products.” he says with a chuckle. “seeing how much i dye it, it has to look and feel healthy.”

“mhm. i'm slightly jealous.” you say as you start to braid his hair.

“why?”

“because you're so perfect and flawless, ji. you're so handsome and beautiful. everyone loves and adores you. you don't have a single flaw about you. sometimes i wonder…” you pause, feeling a lump burn in your throat suddenly as the feeling of insecurity hits you hard.

“what do you wonder, baby?” his voice is soft and gentle as he is quick to pick up on the way your voice quivers, no matter how hard you try to cover it up.

“sometimes i wonder why you're with me.” your voice is nothing but a small and gentle whisper, in hopes he didn’t hear you–which he did.

“i'm with you because i love you.”

“i know but, you're you and i'm me.” you secure the ends of his braid with an elastic, before scanning for any imperfections such as lumps and bumps.

“i don't understand, baby.”

“i'm just me. meaning i'm basic. i have flaws, i'm not perfect. i get insecure sometimes because i look at other people, people who are so much better than me in terms of looks and talents and i can't stop myself from thinking that you'd be so much better off with them than me.”

“baby–”

regret rises to the surface before sinking deep in your stomach. you swallow that burning lump that refuses to go away before quickly wiping your eyes.

“forget it.” you hastily say, “forget i said anything. let's just continue being happy and act like i haven't just ruined the mood.” you say with a sullen laugh. you rise to your feet to clear up the hair products.

a hand wraps around your wrist, gently pulling you down on jisung's lap to straddle him. your eyes widen at the surprising action before you sheepishly look down. you idly play with the material of his t-shirt and his silver neck chain, not wanting to make eye contact with him because if you do, you'll cry.

“look at me.” he gently strokes your hair and cheeks before slowly tracing your jawline with his finger. he hooks his finger under your chin, lifting it up so you're forced to look at him.

your eyes scan his facial features. from how plump his bottom lip is to the small, delicate mole on his cheek. the dam breaks, tears suddenly falling down your cheeks slowly.

“don't cry, my love.” he gently hushes you, raking his fingers through your hair slowly. he gently pushes you against his chest, encouraging you to put all your weight on him.

the softness of his skin, his touch and the rhythmic thumping of his heart rate calms you down to some extent. negative thoughts rush through your mind, thoughts you don't want to think but you can't help. An unwelcome guest that’s no stranger to you.

jisung rocks you back and forth, hushing and cooing you gently as he rubs your back and strokes your hair. a few minutes later, you manage to calm down as you pull away, sniffling.

“want to know why i'm with you and not someone else?” you look down, nodding slowly. “because you make me feel things i haven't felt nor never felt in a very very long time, yn.”

you look up at him, his expression so soft and eyes glossed over and shiny with so much love and admiration for you.

“i feel happy, excited. i feel like i'm the luckiest man on this planet. you may think i don't have flaws because you see me as this perfect being but i have flaws. everyone has some type of flaw. i'm not always perfect baby. i still have a lot to learn but with you by my side, i know it's going to be ok.”

“but what abo–”

“i don't want no one else but you. you're perfect to me. whether it be a good day, bad day. whether your hair is unwashed or you've been living in the same clothing for days, i don't care. i want that. you're human, you're real. you're true to yourself and to everyone else. i like that about you and it's what makes me love you so much.”

“ji..” your bottom lip sticks out as your eyes well up with tears yet again.

“i see myself with you and only you. just like how you see me as perfect and flawless is how i see you. i love you yn. i'm head over heels, a hundred percent smitten for you.”

“i love you too.” you sob. the negative thoughts and feelings washing away with each kind and gentle word you hear. the reassurance from jisung puts your mind, soul and heart at rest.

nothing but love overpowers your body once again as you lean in to kiss jisung softly. he holds onto your waist, pulling you closer so you're sat in his crotch. you place your hands on his cheeks as you both bask in the warmth of each other;

in the warmth that's called love.

tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @myprwttyhan ; @fairylouist ; @septicrebel ; @bbujiikseu ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer

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elysiumblue · 8 months

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Pick a card - What do you need to know? 🥴

Felt drawn to do a general reading asap so I did one. I don't really know what to write for the intro so maybe just jump straight to the reading lmao.

Remember, as this is a general reading, please take what resonates and leave the rest behind. Hope this reading can help you clear things up and provide you with the information you needed to move to a better place in life.

👇🏻 Pick a color you felt drawn to 👇🏻

And find the corresponding reading for you below!

Pile 1

You have the suspicion that someone is plotting on you and damn you're so right. You may feel that it's so draining to be with someone in your life as you always thinking that they're hating you, or hoping the worst for you. It feels like every day that the person in your social circle, or every moment you spend with that person is a torture, as you don't want to anger them or make them jealous of you (then plotting more crap on you). Even posting on social media feels like walking on thin ices. You feel really restricted and have to fight thru so many worries every time you want to do a thing, as you feel like they're watching.

However, even living in such a restrictive environment, you still want to become better. You hate to live in someone else's shadow, have the rest of your life controlled by others, or have to drag the weight of someone else's problems around for your whole life. You want to be better, be good enough to break free from the situation, and yeah, you're going to do it. And wait, even better, you're going to break free of the people or community that you don't want to care about anymore, and shine so brightly alone.

You may question how is it possible for you to pull this off, and I have to tell you that you have so much energy inside you, waiting for you to burn it and make something real big. It seems that you're always rejecting negativity, thinking that all they can do is to bring a big black fog to your life. However, the big pile of negativity can act as an excellent source of inspiration and motivation at the same time. For example, you can use your worries and sorrow as inspirations for art, and the fear of not going to make it/ pessimism to motivate you to put 120% effort, so you can make sure that you must and will succeed.

I can see that you may be deterred by the low quality of work and the lack of skills in the beginning. It seems that success is so far away and so unlikely to happen to you. However, you have to understand that you have to start somewhere, and no one is a master in the beginning of their journey. Even DaVinci needed to learn painting from someone in the beginning of his journey. Don't be deterred by the progress. As long as you keep trying, you are making progress every day. No matter how small the progress is, learn to appreciate it. If it's not motivating for you enough, then think of winning to spite those whose messing with you. Win so fucking hard so that they can realize how big of an L they're taking by not appreciating you in the past. Also, I heard that the harder you win, the faster those people will receive their karma? Is it motivating for you enough lol.

Pile 2

I can see this pile is so hopeless in getting a lover and a love reading is the least you want to hear about. But, love is on its way for you! You probably the type that believes that you will never find a lover in the rest of your life, and believe that you are absolutely fine and cool with it. However, you low key wish to get into a relationship at the same time, as you keep helping your friends in their relationships by giving them advices and listening to their vents. You kinda want to try it yourself but you really feel that it's too much effort and you're not wasting any energy on getting into trouble yourself. For some of you, I can also see that you've gone thru a real tough relationship in the past. That may even be a divorce for some of you. So getting into a relationship again is the last thing you want to do.

No matter how unwilling you want to be in a relationship, I can see that you're going to have the opportunity to meet a potential lover, as it's a reward for you for going thru and completing a cycle. You probably spent so much time to undo the pain of an event, or the thing may be so long ago that you don't even remember that it happened, and left an impact on you. No matter you remember you've done your work or not, you will be paid regardless as you did the work.

You may think that you are not hot enough for anyone to like you, and you also can't see anyone that will have the potential to develop any feelings towards you. However, it will just happen and you don't even have to do a thing to make it work. Don't sabotage it if this is actually what you hoped for. Don't complicate the situation by bringing the past to the present. You can act passive and take things slowly, so you can clear your doubt. As long as you understand that this is a whole new cycle and you're in a completely new chapter of your life, then you're fine.

Pile 3

You are obsessed with someone. If this is not your situation, then this may not be your pile, or maybe this is not even the reading for you. You are so obsessed with someone and you keep hoping and thinking that you can be in a romantic relationship with them. However, you feel that your connection is stuck, and stagnated, and you don't have the energy to push it forward even though you want things to work so badly.

Instead of pushing the connection forward, which is not an option as you don't have enough energy to pull it off, you may find yourself indulging in past memories with that person, and making decisions based on outdated assumptions. Some of you probably haven't talked for years, but you still thinking that they will just respond and go out on a date with you if you finally have the courage to talk to them, because you remember the time that you two got along so well years ago.

It may be a depressing news for you, but the thing you need to know is this connection is not going to anyway. It can be hard yo believe, but this is actually the best outcome for this connection. The obstacle, the big stop sign on the path, is to protect you from something worse. It may be the person is actually a shitty person, or you have a better future ahead of you instead of spending your time with that person.

Also, you really need this connection to die, as it's draining so much energy from you. You're lost and unable to even feel joy anymore. It seems that nothing matters anymore. You will find out that it's not the case, as you will discover lots of joy around you as soon as you try to pull yourself away from the obsession. Then, you will start to heal, and become the master of your own mind and emotions again.

It's so much better to be able to make yourself happy, instead of betting your happiness on others, as it's so difficult to make others do things the way you want them to. Having yourself to do the job instead can dramatically decrease the effort you have to spent on getting an enjoyable life.

(Some of you may be spamming that person's phone and they're thinking that you're annoying... But the real one will not feel annoyed by you. They will be so happy to hear from you... so, maybe they're really not the one.)

#pick a card #tarot reading #general tarot reading #this reading is sponsored by loki #Spotify

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definitelynotriana · 3 months

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I don’t know about you guys but I LOVE Jake, one of my favourite characters on Disventure Camp!

Some might say, “why Riana? He’s a gullible little bi—-“

Well because I just find him a likeable character! He may be gullible and stuff but it doesn’t mean there aren’t any good qualities about him, he’s loyal to other people, he’s caring; and people hate him because of all his negative traits and insecurities. And sure it is annoying, (JAMES FIRST BOOT NOOO) but there are still so many episodes that could potentially tell the tale of Jake’s backstory or reasoning behind all of his actions and thoughts, everything happens for a reason. And with the thing about Tom and him not talking, that’s also Tom’s fault because he won’t tell them anything, and idk about the rest of you but the look on his face in the intro is not promising, (especially since it looks like he’s gazing at Aiden). And well, Jake wanted to talk to James about the situation and James just lashed out on him, (which isn’t bad btw I’m not blaming it on James just saying, could’ve taken a calmer approach but we love Jaiden so-) so he’s trying alright?? He still needs some therapy, BUT he’s trying and that’s all that matters k? I just hope tomjake actually comes back.

Put a cat in the comment thingy if you actually like Jake

#disventure camp #disventure camp all stars #tomjake #disventure camp jake #he’s trying his best #I do not like aidenxtom it sounds wrong #they seem like gay bros you know #I actually like Jake so #idk what else to tag

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mattestrella · 4 months

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DECIDED TO GIVE MY HONEST OPINION!

if you don’t like my opinion then don’t listen, my opinion doesn’t rule the world it doesn’t matter it is just my personal opinion if you don’t like it you don’t have to listen 🤍

so! i absolutely love the triplets, love love love them so much my favourite people ever don’t get me wrong. but i just personally think no one gaf about this ‘quality over quantity’ shit. i completely understand that there not getting rid of wednesday videos just so we will be sad or wtv i understand there doing it for there mental health but OBVIOUSLY as fans we have some sort of say in this. i personally would rather watch 4 shitty 10 minute videos of them rather than 1 or 2 well put together, quality, professional 30 minute videos. i obviously get that they want to start taking things more serious but idkkk. i know i have no place to say any of this and its not my decision duh. my opinions on the intro is that they should keep it but its not my FAVOURITE but its still cute it just seems very like professional (which isn’t a bad thing but i just prefer the shitty ‘miss me’ intros). my favourite intro will ALWAYS be that one with chris holding the pepsi boxes, it just looks like it was put together in like .2 seconds and its so funny to me. THIS IS JS MY OPINION DONT ATTACK ME. i love the triplets so so so much and i’m happy that there really progressing and moving forward and thinking about there future <3

also i would much rather they got rid of the podcast instead of the wednesday videos because personally i don’t enjoy podcasts and i’ve only watched about 5 of them?? but that’s only really because i just don’t enjoy podcasts.

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #smut #nick sturniolo #chris x reader #matt x reader

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beebopboom · 4 months

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Am I a Good Angel? Am I a Mad Angel?

Here for the Occult Stuff

(Intro, part 1)

Last time we explored who The Metatron was among scripture

This is actually going to be like a miniseries within this ongoing analysis of the Metatron because this post and the next were supposed to be one however I recognize this part is pretty out there so it's getting its own part.

Like I know, I understand - this is just to explore and have fun

But join me down this rabbit hole if you want - with an open mind

Not One but Many

There is one interpretation of the Metatron I left out of the last post and it has to do with Éliphas Lévi.

Éliphas Lévi was a French Occultist in the mid 19th century and his works were highly influential in occult circles

When it came to the Metatron he didn’t believe him to be one specific angel but rather an honorific for an enlightened existence. That they are the Chief of Souls on Earth who do not die and instead rise alive to Heaven. He gave them the title Metatron Sarpanim, or Metatron: Prince of Lights.

Here is quote from him

"All Metatrons must have two reigns and they return to earth after having traveled through all the globes of our solar system. This is why the return of Enoch and Elijah will precede the second coming of Jesus."

His ideas are obviously pretty influenced by Enoch but the fact he seen Metatron not as an angel or human but rather a job, or position, is pretty interesting considering how in the show their names seem to be intrinsically linked to their position in Heaven.

Also back in season one there were a few instances of him using “we” - which is probably just referencing Heaven as a whole or perhaps even just God and Himself - just interesting nonetheless

I was going to include that in the next part as a merge between the two. Except because I’m totally normal I decided to keep looking into his works and oh boy…just hear me out

Another Face

If you didn't recognize Lévi by his name you may recognize some of his drawings

some of these will come into context in a future, separate meta about Agnes Nutter. But you have the seven seals and probably his most recognized drawing, Baphomet - who we are going to focus on here

Stay with me - I'm not trying to say they are one in the same, just some parallels

So let’s break down elements of this drawing

The androgynous nature - with breasts and a phallic caduceus - that represents the union of male and female

Male is meant to represent good and wisdom while Female is to represent evil

The wings which represent spirituality and ascension

The goat head representing sin and animalistic nature of humans

The four elements - wings = air, scales = water, hooves = earth, torch = fire

The gesture which represents "that which is above is like that which is below” - in which "above" is the universe at large or divine realms and "below" is life on earth or the human body

The words on said arms "solve", or to separate, and "coagula", or to bring together

The torch representing intelligence, divine knowledge, and enlightenment - the soul over the body

The pentagram is upright on the head putting spirit above matter

The white and black moon represent the sephiroth Chesed and Gevurah (respectively), therefore the qualities of mercy and severity (respectively).

The caduceus representing magical power, healing, bringing together of opposites, and eternal life

The circle behind the caduceus is reminiscent of the Ouroboros, representing the Principle of Mentalism — all of the universe is in the mind of God.

The image as a whole is reminiscent of the Tree of Life - which if want to learn more about here is a video on that

Baphomet in itself is primarily a symbol of balance, of the goal of a perfect social order. Also has been seen as a symbol of wisdom.

In his writings Lévi says that Baphomet is associated with the nature forces that are explained in his theory of Astral Light

Astral Light - honestly I'm not going to into detail about this because my brain hurts, just pointing out what is relevant I guess

In his book Dogma and Ritual of High Magic he describes it as this blind, amoral, universal force that sweeps all before it in a perpetual and restless search for equilibrium

That it was created when God said “let there be light” and is "indifferent in itself” - can be used for good and evil

He also notes "it is a kind of universal record keeper that registers all of our desires, intentions and, acts.”

Honestly there is a whole history between Baphomet, Templars and the Freemasons - largely due to them being falsely accused of worshipping them, or so it is said. Plus Aleister Crowley thrown into all this. It’s just a lot but if it’s wanted I can go into further detail about it.

If have been following along with this series though some of these things might have set off some alarm bells in relation to the Metatron

It’s just something about an Angel dressed in dark clothes that hints at a duality, a balance, who is primarily remembered as a head - a head that holds knowledge - a human head with a goatee

Something about him giving the “choice” of bringing together Aziraphale and Crowley as angels or completely them ignoring him and staying together on Earth except was that ever an option really? or to separate - with a coffee that he lifts up to offer while keeping the other hand below.

Something about an Angel that seems to come after four angels. Something about him having a connection to Wisdom and the Tree of Life.

Something about the portal that looks similar to the light that Aziraphale called down with “let there be light” and it being used to discoporate demons and angels

Something about him sweeping into the bookshop and sending the remaining angels away only to beeline it to Aziraphale.

Something about an Angel who is connected to the Book of Life - that keeps a record of all good deeds and transgressions in Heaven and on Earth

Something about an Angel whose primary goal is to bring about the Second Coming, or Heaven on Earth. From his point of view would be a perfect social order.

an Angel that is supposed to be on the side of good, and is probably in charge of all the “good” rhetoric and in charge, or responsible for how Heaven is set up but that’s a whole other thing, but really his motivations and actions (from what we can see as an audience) prove to be the opposite

(it’s giving “The Greater Good”, my lord the dumbledore flashbacks)

Can you see my point? It’s just a few parallels I noticed and this series is pretty much just about exploration

Look I know it’s a little out there - it’s on its own for a reason.

But tune in next time for some symbols, numbers, and tarot cards - or yknow what this post was actually supposed to to be - here in part 3

#this feels unhinged #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #good omens analysis #good omens theory #good omens metatron #the metatron #metatron

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comicaurora · 2 years

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Heyo, it's the fool who wants to make a comic with zero experience in drawing or finishing stories again. A lot of people, including you, I think, mentioned that "Your first work will be bad". Any tips how…not to do that? I don't expect it to be a magnum opus or smth, but I at least want to make something people would genuinely unironically enjoy, and "first story is always not good" notion everywhere is very discouraging

It's not like I never tried anything creative ever, but this is my first attempt of putting it down on paper with intention of completing it, instead of having vague ideas of "I know what would be so cool when I make it a thing" in my head for months without acting upon any of these ideas

It's definitely a disheartening adage, even if it's supposed to take the pressure off young creators.

Unfortunately, no matter how good your starting point gets - and you can get it very good, don't get me wrong - you are still going to find it unbearably bad when you look back on it with experienced eyes. You might eventually circle back around to finding it impressive, considering it was your absolute first starting point and you had no experience, but you still won't be able to see its merit the way your audience will.

The thing is, your first project is going to teach you a lot of things you couldn't have known you needed to learn beforehand. This means everything you make after learning those things is going to be smoother in process and better in result. There's also just the fact that the more you do this sort of thing the more practiced you'll get at the mechanical side of it, making it faster and easier for you and leaving you with more energy to punch things up. Compare the Big Fight Scene from chapter 3 with the one from chapter 17 in terms of visual complexity:

Particle effects, ambient glow, soft lighting, atmospheric depth, metallic effects, light and shadow. The seeds of these ideas are present in the earlier shot, but executed in a much clumsier way. Fourteen chapters of gradually increasing complexity and just raw practice got me to the point where drawing that second panel was fun rather than exhausting. If I'd tried that in the first chapter I would've probably been so worn out just trying to finish the lineart that the quality of the rest of the image would've suffered from sheer exhaustion.

And even before that, those first chapters only flowed as well as they did because I'd been drawing hundreds and hundreds of video frames for years at this point, which had gotten my lineart muscle memory polished enough that I wasn't agonizing over every single stroke.

I was absolutely determined to start this comic off at the best level of quality I could, and that determination kept me kicking the can down the road for a decade. I think this was a good thing; if I'd started it any earlier I think I would've been a slow enough learner that the quality increase over those first few chapters wouldn't have been as steep as it was. And that first chapter was as good as I could've made it at the time; I didn't take any shortcuts or laze around, and I used every skill I'd learned over the previous decade of physical and digital art. Of course, if I knew then what I knew now there's loads of stuff I'd have changed about the way I handled the intro. In fact, I'm going to break my One Rule about "never going back or redoing things" and I'm going to walk you all through chapter 1 and what I would change/fix if I was drawing it now.

Remove the outline on the background mountains, add color variance to the further mountains so they appear farther in the background, un-muddy the color of the sky and make those clouds a little more impressive; this could've looked like a full glorious noonday sun. The forest was drawn with an experimental brush I'd created for foliage that I ended up deciding didn't produce the effect I wanted; I'd probably go through and use the technique I developed for Gleicann's forest to cel shade blocks of foliage.

Add at least the bare hint of buildings behind the sword pedestal - just gradient outlines would be fine, similar to the extended backgrounds in Zuurith. Also slap some blue cinder-y particle effects coming up off the sword. Clean up the shading layer so there aren't as many holes. Add metallic shine to the blade and marbling/stone texture to the pedestal.

Un-muddy the colors on this background; they match The Collector's color palette but that matters less than looking nice. The background needs something - speed lines, the implication of foliage - etc. The poses could also be more dynamic and drawn with more confidence. To show the power behind the blows, re-choreographs the fight to show more of the damage it does to the environment - the sword carving through rocks, ploughing furrows into the ground, starting to spark with starfire, etc.

Same problem with the foliage; the special brush adds too much detail, drawing the eye away from the important parts of the scene, and the colors are muddy to cover that up. Brighter greens and cel-shaded layers would produce the effect I actually wanted and be faster than hand-drawing every treetrunk and then shading them so they're indistinguishable anyway. Also, more intense shading on the foreground figure - a neutral tan shadow layer is functional, but it could look a lot more dramatic, and he's shaded much more lightly than the extremely muddied background is.

Of course, "if I knew then what I know now" is a meaningless turn of phrase. I needed to draw these pages this way in order to learn what I know now. If I had jumped straight into the shortcuts I've painstakingly developed without having had that intervening practice, the end result would've been just as bad - if not worse, because it would've been executed shakily, without the confidence that accompanies muscle memory. The techniques I used in this first chapter had served me well up til that point. The techniques I use now were built on these foundations. Lamenting that I could've done it better if I'd started now is like saying the pyramids would be so much taller if they'd laid the foundations at the top part instead.

There's a degree to which this work is sisyphusian. You do your best, you push yourself, and then your "best" gets better. At some point you have to accept that what was your best is still okay, even if you can't see it that way.

When I was working on this comic in the pre-actually-drawing-it years, I came to a realization that helped me get unstuck: "good enough" is a mask that "perfect" wears. Striving for perfection is a pointless task, and this is pretty well known, but it seems a lot more reasonable to just try to get "good enough" at art to guarantee that your work will be good enough. But if you unpack that concept, you likely find that your definition of "good enough" is basically "without flaws." Which is "perfect." Which is, as mentioned, unattainable. Those pages are as good as I could've possibly made them at the time, and they aren't perfect, and I never thought they were perfect, because I knew if I waited for them to be perfect in my eyes I'd never make them. I just had to grit my teeth, make them public and hope that people got something out of them that I couldn't.

There is a baseline level of artistic skill and preparation that I do recommend cultivating - figure and life drawing, anatomy studies, landscapes, reading Scott McCloud's "Understanding Comics" cover to cover - but there is no hardline starting point at which you are guaranteed to be good enough to make the story and art good. This is because "good" is subjective, and as long as you are improving as an artist, your own perspective on your old work will never be that it is "good." You have to trust that the audience that likes your story likes it for their own valid reasons.

The thing is, I know this is a bummer. This whole thing is a bummer perspective. Artists want to make good art and the nature of artistic creation is being unable to see your own art as good for long. If you believe that your art must be a certain baseline level of Good to be worthy of existing, this truth seems to be a condemnation to an eternal and pointless purgatorial struggle.

The most valuable skill an artist can develop at this stage is strangling that insecurity with their bare hands.

Trust your audience! Trust that they enjoy what they enjoy, and trust that they see something in your art, even if all you can see are the critiques you'd use to polish it! "Perfect" and "good enough" will tell you that your creation will always be hideously unlovable and must be hidden from scrutiny until it's "ready", but like all insecurities, underpinning this is the axiom that anyone who likes you or your work is lying. Strangle this falsehood, trust freely and openly that your audience is being honest with you, and while you work to improve on the creation side of things, trust that in the eyes of the people who like your work, it is Good Enough.

#asks #art stuff #writing stuff

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