#joel miller eventually smut
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The Brown-Eyed Man: Joel Miller- Log 1 Texas
Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Pov: Reader
Summary: After getting settled into your new neighborhood. You get a knock on your door late at night. A tall, dark man stands there, and you wonder if your life is about to flip upside down.
Warnings: Flirting, angst, fluff, moving away, abusive ex-boyfriend, stalker ex-boyfriend, offering drinks, drinking, age difference, sarah miller mentioned, and Tommy Miller mentioned.
A/n- @ Firefly-graphics for dividers
WC- 2.0k
The Last Of Us Master List // The Brown-Eyed Man Series Master List
Log 2 Here
The doorbell ringing at my front door brings me out of the box I’m digging in. The boxes line the walls of my hallways and many of the rooms that have yet to be unpacked. I look down at my watch. It’s nearly ten thirty at night, but I open the front door anyway. “Hello?” I say as I look up; the rest of what I was going to say gets caught in the back of my throat.
The man standing before me is tall and muscular, even if he’s wearing a pair of what looks like old sweatpants and a tight black shirt. He’s got caramel skin and a devilish jawline. “Hey there, neighbor. I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.” His voice is smooth like honey, making me weak to my knees.
“Names Joel, by the way… that would be weird if I just came up to your front door and welcomed you to the neighborhood without telling you my name.” His voice is so fucking soothing in a calming sort of way. “I… thank you, Joel.”I managed to get out without sounding like a complete and utter idiot. He can’t be much older than me, as I can see the gray strands starting at the edges of his hair. “I live other there.” Joel points out.
He lives right across from me. “I just saw that you were movin’ in. Just wanted to be a good neighbor and say that you’re welcome to come over for beers or talk whenever you want.” Joel said with a smile.
As Joel walks down the front porch stairs, I realize that, like an idiot, I’ve forgotten to tell him anything about myself, “Hang on.” I yell into the crisp night air.” He pauses a few steps, still waiting before him; turning, something catches my eye. Maybe it’s the glint in his eyes as he drags them up my body or the way he still towers over you, even from down on the steps.
I shake the dirty thoughts from my mind and do the neighborly thing. “You’ve told me your name, but I haven’t told you mine.” He chuckles and takes a few steps to meet me at eye level. I swipe my tongue over my drying lips, bringing my hand out to shake his. “Names, Y/n,” I say with a sweet smile written on my face.
His hands are so much larger than mine, rough in spots that I didn’t know your hands could get rough in. Callusses pressed up against my soft skin send shivers down my spine. His hand is firm against mine, and then again, so is the handshake itself. “Well, it’s lovely to meet you, Y/n.” There’s that glint in his eyes again.
Yet the smile on his face doesn’t this close up reach up to the sky. For now, though, even as Joel walks down the rest of my steps and into the street, the echo of my name from his voice has me standing there like a puppet. Completely drawn into him.
That was the reason I had moved to Texas. I needed to escape the screaming street and the fluorescent lights of the city; the crowded streets and rude people were the last straw. I had bent and stayed for college. I just needed to finish my degree before I was okay with moving out alone, away from my childhood home and city.
Texas seemed like the best place. It was calm, rural, and everything I needed for a good hard reset. It wasn’t just the streets and people I was trying to escape. My past clung to me like a nats during summer.
Relationships have never really been in the cards for me, I was too busy with after-school activities or the school itself. There wasn’t time for the nerdy girl to get a boyfriend, and it wasn’t like the guys were exactly putting themselves in my path. It was a lonely four years in high school, which I only thought would transfer over into my college years.
I watched as Joel made his way over to his front porch. He waved once more before opening his door and closing it. I stared a little longer, standing on one of the steps of my porch. I felt stupid. A stupid crush that had grown in mere seconds from the man just knocking on my door. He had invited me over for drinks, and much as I didn’t want to play into how my heart beat harder while Joel’s hand was wrapped around mine. The frustration of unpacking and getting to my job in the next few weeks pulled me closer to the thought.
When I finally made my way back up the flight of stairs and behind my front door, I took the first breath I think I’ve taken since the doorbell rang. The clock on the oven reads nearly eleven in the morning. The boxes strewn across my kitchen and living room floor are becoming a nuisance to me. One of the boxes in the kitchen is torn open in search of my coffee marker this morning.
As I turn off lights around my house, I get lost in the thought of him. Of his words and his rough touch against my soft skin. I walk down the hallways in complete darkness, my head filled with light and fluttering thoughts of Joel. I can feel the heavy dew that makes my eyes ache in need of sleep by the time I make it to my bedroom. As I get ready for bed, I pull back the sheets, brushing my teeth.
My thoughts betray me for another time. I can see him perfectly. His broad shoulders and that sharp jawline. It’s all I can think about as I get ready for bed. Thoughts follow me as I slip under the weight of the duvet and flat sheet.
Even my dreams betray me.
Before my dreams can take me away, the buzzing of my phone on the nightstand beside me pulls me away. In the shadows of the night, I reach over, patting the table. “You can’t ignore me forever, Y/n.” The text is bright on my scene. He's always right there no matter how hard I try to escape my past. Stalking me forever now. Brad the hip, society house leader at our modern college. I had caught his eye, and I was caught in his trap. Even as a freshman, it all felt wrong how fast everything went. He was never gentle or soft with me. Never caring about the things I yearned to be doing instead of standing next to him at another house party.
Did some guys just not understand boundaries did they not understand hundrends of miles meant that I was done with you, or did Brad understand and he just choose to be a complete and utter dick in every fashion of the word. I stare at the text, and just as I go to swipe it away another comes. “Come on Y/n, you know better then this.” I can hear his voice echoing with anger as he types angrily into his phones screen.
I set my phone down on this face, turning away from the buzzing, and vibrations opting for staring out my bedroom window into the beautiful scenery outside. I can see the truck in Joels driveway. “Miller construction” is written on the side of it. “Joel Miller.” The words follow together and right out of my mouth, and for a moment I’m not thinking about Brad, or how he’s becoming a rather tough thorn in my side. Joel takes over my thoughts once again and I forget all about my buzzing phone.
I don’t know how I managed toget up to Joels front door. Where my feet kept walking and my mind was left behind. Hell maybe it’s sitting next to my coffee cup as my coffee brews. It’s earlier then afternoon, but I still feel bad when joel answers the door in the same clothes from the night before. “Good mornin’ Y/n.” His voice is somehow thicker, and for a moment the time catches up with me. “Shit, I didn’t even. I’ll leave you be Joel.” I say tumbling over my words, and my feet. Landing with a pop of my ass at he bottom of his front porch stiars. The clamber of heavy foot steps shaking the hurt my aching head.
Joel is right at my side. “Holy shit, darlin’ that was uh stumble now.” He says with a bit of a chuckle in his rough morning voice. His hands are sprawled against my shoulder blades, and the other is taking my hand helping me up. “You doin’ alright?” He asks lowering down to look me right in the eyes. I can’t tell if it the tumble, or because Joel is so close but my head feels so dizzy.
“My head, just a little dizzy. Let me catch my…” My words are cut short by a dominant and sharp grasps that Joel has on my wrist. “You don’t even start with that shit now. You’re coming in and I’m gonna make sure you’re okay.” Joel says. It’s not a suggestion, and you don’t even care that Joel doesn’t really know you and he’s already bossing your around. Joel walks you into his house. The smell of wood, and coffee hits my nose at first, and he sets me down on the couches edge. “So what had you comin’ over at nearly ten in the morning?” The drawl in Joels voice keeps the dizzy feeling in my head away. “I was… you offered drinks.” The words finally leave my mouth and for a second I can breath.
“That’s quite alright dear.” Joels voice is soothing so much that the buzzing in my back pocket I can’t manager to give a single fuck. Joel offers me a cold sweating glass of water, “This is all for drinks until maybe a few days from now. If you got hurt form that fall you might not wanna drink.” Joel says until his brows arches, “Are you gonna get your phone?” He asks, I shake my head. I want to say ‘I’m in much better company then the one on the phone.’ I don’t though, “I’d rather not talk to him.” I shake my head at myself. I exposes myself in a new and totally irritating way. “Him?” Joels asks, there’s a dark hue behind his brown eyes. “Just an ex, who doesn’t get the words ‘We are done.’” I manageto get out with a chuckles as the water soothes the banging in my head. “Is that your daughter?” I ask into the silence of the room, the pictures on the walls show a happy, kinda happy, and then broken family. “My daughter and my soon to be ex-wife.” Joel answers.
“Relationship issues am I right?” I say laughing a litte to hard that it causes my head to hurt. Joel chuckles, “Yeha you’ve got me there Y/n.” Joel mutters as we get back into comfortable silence. “She’s just starting her last year of high school.” Joel adds, “Her names Sarah, she’s smart as a whip. Kicks my ass in pretty much everything.” Joel smiles fondly as he talk about his daughter. “Your truck? Is that what you do for work?” I ask pushing further not caring if he shuts down and pushes me out of his front door because for right now I’m getting to know my neighbor like I always should have. “Yeah, the names pretty self explanatory.” Joel laughs a tight lipped smile writte over his older features.
“Here, I’ll give you my card,” Joel says as he gets up quickly, pulling out his wallet. Pulling out a pretty sleek black and purple card. His name and number are written on one, and the other has everything he does within construction. “You just call me whenever you need me.”Joel offers. I can’t help but smile at him. “I will, Joel, don’t worry. You’ll be the first call whenever I’ve got issues with my appliances.”
Completed on: 09/16/23
Posted on: 09/18/23
The Last Of Us-
#joel miller the last of us#joel miller fic#joel miller x reader#joel miller eventually smut#joel miller tlou#joel miller smut#fluff#fem reader#female reader#requests are open#open requests#requests open#joel miller#tlou hbo#tommy miller#the last of us hbo#the last of us#joel tlou#dilf joel miller
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Fall Into Me - Chapter Six: And I Knew My Heart Wasn't Mine
dbf!Joel x f!reader
Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.
Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.
Word Count: 3.8k
Chapter Warnings: Explicit, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. Lots of feelings, confusion, and self doubt. Two idiots falling in love. Finally some smut-ish stuff. Dry humping on the couch. Joel is his own warning. Tommy keeping it real. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname used only by her dad.
Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics
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Chapter Five | Main Masterlist
Sitting at the kitchen table on Sunday morning, you reviewed an email on your phone from the Texas Education Agency. Relief washed over you. The State Board finally approved your certification after jumping through a million hoops, just in time for your upcoming meeting at Sarah’s school.
Yet another step closer to finally feeling like an actual adult contributing to society.
“Morning, Spud,” your dad greeted as he walked into the kitchen in search of his morning coffee. “You’re up early. Did you have fun with Sarah yesterday?”
“I figured I’d seize the day and all that. I had a blast yesterday! Sarah is so smart, and Joel was really nice, as always,” you replied, playing down quite how much of a roll Joel had in making the day so enjoyable. You still couldn’t believe how things worked out.
Joel Miller, dead sexy single father, liked you, wanted to be with you. Little morsels of doubt tried to weasel their way into your mind, trying to make you question what was so special about you that a man like Joel would be interested in. You shook those thoughts away, resolving to believe that you deserved someone like him, someone who liked you for who you were and not who they wanted you to be.
“He comes from good stock, that Joel,” your dad interrupted you’re wandering thoughts. “Not sure what happened with Tommy, though. Musta been dropped on his head as a baby or somethin’.”
“Dad!” you laughed, shaking your head. “There’s nothing wrong with the guy. He’s young, single, and unburdened by responsibility. I imagine you were like that once upon a time.”
“Musta been so long ago I can’t remember,” he replied, hip checking you into the counter when you stood to place your glass in the sink. “Watch yourself there, Spud.”
“Jeez, thanks, Dad,” you replied with an amused eye roll. Your dad watched as you tidied up your little mess from breakfast and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.
“You know, Spud. You’d do well to find a man like Joel. He’s a really good guy. Shame he doesn’t date. All the women go crazy over him.”
Your dad kept going on about Joel’s aversion to dating, but your mind froze on that one simple statement – you’d do well to find a man like Joel. You tuned back in just in time to hear him say, “He needs to settle down with a girl like you. Someone smart and responsible who’ll still give him a run for his money.”
Practically bursting with the urge to admit that you and Joel just officially started seeing each other, you curled your lips between your teeth and just nodded. You promised Joel you’d wait a bit before mentioning anything to your dad and you planned on keeping that promise. “He should be so lucky to find someone like me,” you sassed finally.
The day carried on as you spent some quality time with your dad watching TV and lounging around. It was refreshing and relaxing, reminding you of times past where the two of you spent a bunch of time together.
The urge to text you plagued Joel all day Sunday, distracting his attention from the football game until Tommy finally snatched the phone out of his hands and hid it.
“Enough, brother. You’re like a lovesick fool checking your phone every five fuckin’ seconds. You just spent the day together yesterday. Give her a little breathin’ room,” Tommy chastised. “Women like a little mystery after all.”
Flopping back into the couch cushions with a huff, Joel crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I don’t want to play games with her, Tommy. None of that aloof, hard to get bullshit.”
Shaking his head, Tommy waited until a commercial break to turn to his brother again. “I’m not sayin’ to play games. I’m just sayin’ you don’t need to be up her ass 24/7. You’ll see her every day this week. It’s ok to build up a little healthy anticipation today.”
Joel knew his brother had a point. He just couldn’t help himself. It’d been so long since he felt like this about someone – if he ever really did before – and it was messing with his head. Berating himself for not even kissing you yesterday, Joel wanted to at least text with you today. It felt somehow wrong to not talk to you.
Then again, you hadn’t texted him either.
Tommy made a valiant effort to distract Joel from his thoughts, talking statistics about the game and the players, anything to get the guy talking. It only worked for so long before Tommy couldn’t take it anymore.
“Alright, how ‘bout this. I’ll take Sarah for a dinner and ice cream date tomorrow so you two can spend some time alone. Get a little action in and maybe that’ll help you get your head out of the clouds.”
For the first time in hours, Joel’s face lit up. “You sure?”
“I wouldn’t offer otherwise,” Tommy replied. “You two need to figure out if there’s something there and you can’t do that with a ten-year-old hanging around all the time. Not unless you want to scar her for life.”
Joel nodded, reaching out to take his phone back. Before letting go of it, Tommy grinned. “I already texted her for you. You’re welcome.”
Ripping his phone out of his brother’s hand, Joel scrolled through his text messages to find what Tommy sent you.
JM: Hey sweetheart. Netflix and chill tomorrow?
He only knew what that meant because of Tommy and you had to know that wasn’t something Joel would say. “Jesus fucking Christ, Tommy!” Joel growled, his ears turning red from what you must think. He was about to really lay into his brother for overstepping when you responded.
You: Netflix and chill, huh? Sounds like my kinda date 😉
Not expecting that response, Joel chuckled. Maybe Tommy knew exactly what he was doing after all.
“Like I said, you’re welcome,” Tommy teased when he saw the goofy smile on his brother’s face.
Joel ignored him, proceeding to ask you about your day. The two of you texted back and forth well into the night until it was time for bed.
Climbing between the cold sheets of his large, empty bed, Joel wished you were there with him. He could already imagine you there, falling asleep together after a romp or two, waking up next to you in the morning. It sounded like heaven to him.
Hmm, maybe he could Netflix and chill his way to convincing you to spend the night tomorrow.
You didn’t know what to expect when you walked into Joel’s house Monday morning, but it certainly wasn’t a flustered Joel, knelt on the floor, staring down at a mess of pancake mix surrounding him and Sarah giggling her little heart out at the breakfast table.
“What happened here?” you asked, hands on your hips and eyes surveying the damage. “Did you have a fight with the boxed pancake mix.”
“He really did!” Sarah exclaimed, still laughing. “It went everywhere!”
“I see that,” you replied, grinning at her before turning back to Joel.
He stared up at you with wide, sad eyes and shoulders slumped. “I couldn’t get it open and then it just…” His arms spread wide, gesturing at the powdery mess on the tile in such an endearing way. You couldn’t stop your smile from growing wider.
“Go finish getting ready for work. I’ll get Sarah some cereal and clean this mess up,” you directed, gently pulling him to his feet and around the mess.
“You shouldn’t have to clean up my mess, sweetheart,” Joel replied, pulling you in for a hug. You could tell the warm press of your bodies together made him feel better and you basked in it as well, not minding the bit of pancake mix that transferred to your clothes.
“Don’t worry, I got it. Now git!” One hand swatted at his ass playfully as he rushed out of the room. “Now, what kind of cereal do you want, nugget?”
Fifteen minutes later, Joel returned to find the mess gone and you running a mop over the tile to wipe away any last remnants of the pancake mix disaster. Sarah already finished her cereal and was upstairs brushing her teeth before it was time to head to school. When you put the mop back into the bucket, Joel crept up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. He pulled you close until your back was flush against his chest.
“Thank you, sweetheart,” he breathed in your ear, sending a flood of goosebumps down your arms. Joel pressed his lips to the spot just below your ear and left a trail of kisses down your neck. The feel of his lips on your skin exceeded any expectations you had, and a contented sigh left your own lips.
With a hurried tenderness, he spun you around in his arms, the mop forgotten as it nearly fell out of the bucket. Faces close together now, your eyes drank in every detail of him from the richness of his dark brown eyes, the curve of his nose, the purposeful stubble of his beard, and, finally, to the fullness of his bottom lip. You could feel his eyes doing the same, drinking in every bit of your face before tilting his head impossibly closer.
“I’m going to kiss you now, ok?” Joel murmured; lips nearly pressed to yours already and you hummed in approval.
After all the weeks of mutual pining and self-doubt, Joel finally kissed you. It started as a soft press of lips and quickly morphed into an overwhelming need to devour each other when his tongue teased along the seam of your lips, begging entry to deepen the kiss. Teeth knocked together and tongues tangled as you tasted each other – somehow, the taste of coffee was suddenly appealing when it came from Joel’s mouth.
Hands wandered – his over your curves and yours into his luscious, dark curls. Joel’s hair felt as silky as it looked, and you had been itching to get your fingers in it from the moment you met him.
The sound of Sarah’s footsteps bouncing down the stairs broke the two of you apart, breathless, and dazed.
“Wow,” Joel murmured, struggling to remove his hands from your waist.
You smiled up at him, equally unwilling to remove your fingers from his hair. “Exactly,” you whispered, stepping back with your hands at your side just as Sarah entered the kitchen.
“I’m ready!” she declared excitedly and you both grinned at her cuteness.
“Okay, nugget. Let’s head out.”
Heart melting in your chest, you watched Joel and Sarah do their morning routine of saying goodbye. The love between the two of them was so strong it was like a tangible thing you could hold in your hands. Nostalgia washed over you as memories of your own childhood, moments like this with your dad, flooded your mind. What you had with your dad, what Joel and Sarah had together, was a connection that would never fade, only grow stronger with time.
Briefly, you wondered if your evolving relationship with Joel would affect that connection, interfere with it in anyway. You couldn’t move forward with him if that was the case. Some woman showing up and changing the dynamic between you and your dad would have upset you as a child and you refused to be the cause of any upset Sarah felt.
When the two of them stepped back from their hug and grinned at you, any question about your place in their dynamic washed down the drain. You felt nearly dizzy with relief when Sarah quickly said, “Give her a hug, too, Daddy,” and shoved him as hard as she could in your direction.
With a chuckle, Joel gave in to Sarah’s demand, wrapping his arms around you. The broadness of him surrounded you, enveloping you in warmth and a sense of security you’d not experienced before. Was that what love felt like?
“Have a good day, darlin’. I’ll see you later,” Joel’s deep voice was but a whisper in your ear, his lips just grazing your earlobe. “I’m looking forward to tonight.”
Warmth raced up your neck to your cheeks and you squeezed your thighs together in anticipation of what you hoped would happen later. “You have a good day too, Joel. Be careful, ok?”
“Always, darlin’.” He winked as you led Sarah out the front door to your car.
The journey to Sarah’s school started off quietly, Sarah bopping along to the music on the radio as you navigated the morning traffic. Your thoughts wandered to what you should wear later when Sarah startled you with a sudden question.
“Are you my dad’s girlfriend now?”
She asked the question so nonchalantly that you weren’t sure how to respond. Would she be upset with whatever answer you gave? Was there even a right or wrong answer? What did she want to hear? Mind racing, you settled on asking Sarah a question in return.
“Would you be upset if I was?”
Tilting her head side to side a few times, the little girl contemplated her answer while you held your breath. She turned to you with a smile so big it scrunched up her nose. “Nope! It’d make me really happy.”
“Really?” Your eyebrows were nearly at your hairline.
“Uh huh. You’re the coolest and prettiest. My dad would be lucky if you were his girlfriend,” Sarah admitted with all the confidence and knowledge of a ten-year-old. Another head tilt and she added, “So, are you?”
Equal parts amazed and grateful for Sarah’s acceptance of the idea, you opted for honesty. “I mean, I don’t know,” you shrugged. How could you explain what you had to a 10-year-old? “We haven’t talked about naming it yet, but we did decide to see how we like being together. Does that make sense?”
Sarah gave it a moment of thought. “Yeah, I think so. It’s kinda like how you’re a teacher, but not officially until you get the job, right?”
You laughed at the comparison with a nod. “Exactly. I’m as good as your dad’s girlfriend, we just haven’t made titles official yet.” You pulled up in front of the school and it was Sarah’s turn to get out. “Now get going, nugget. Have a good day!”
The little girl bounced out of the car, calling out to one of her friends. Just before you pulled away, you heard Sarah tell the other girl that you were her dad’s not-yet girlfriend.
The day absolutely dragged. Joel could swear that time went backwards every time he looked at a clock. It didn’t help that every single subcontractor gave him a hard time about something today.
The roof trusses arrived six weeks early and the sub refused to take them back even though the damn things would rot before they got to the roofing phase of construction. The company he rented the extra backhoe from wanted to raise their rates in the middle of his contract. The list went on and Joel ran out of patience three hours ago.
The only thing holding him together was the thought of you. Spending time with you. Kissing you. Touching you. Burying himself inside you… He adjusted himself with a sigh. Damn, he needed to put those particular thoughts on ice before he got himself riled up. The workday was shitty enough, he didn’t need the guys giving him a hard time about an untimely chub in his pants.
Finally, Joel had enough of everyone’s bullshit and called it a day, leaving his foreman in charge of the worksite.
“Off to doll yourself up, are ya?” Tommy teased as Joel headed for his truck. Gesturing in the general direction of Joel’s crotch, he added, “You remember how to use that thing? Make sure to clear out the cobwebs and use protection!”
“Jesus, Tommy,” Joel grumbled, climbing into his truck, and driving off. He knew his brother was only teasing, but Joel was nervous enough as it was. He didn’t need Tommy getting in his head. He did have a point about protection, though.
A quick stop at the convenience store to grab a box of condoms, Joel made it home before you and Sarah. Putting on some 90s rock, he jumped in the shower, putting in the extra effort to tidy himself up down there. He wondered if you preferred pubic hair or not. Fearing he was getting way ahead of himself, Joel opted to just trim his down and hoped for the best.
By the time he finished trimming his facial hair and tousling his curls, you and Sarah were downstairs, working on her homework. As he walked down the stairs, Joel could hear you encouraging his daughter to think the questions through and congratulating her when she got the answers right. His heart grew three sizes watching how you were with Sarah. You held his whole world in the palm of your hand and treasured it like the precious cargo it was.
Joel was falling so hard for you. You were quickly gaining the power to destroy him.
“Hi Daddy!” Sarah called out when she spotted him in the doorway. “We just finished my math homework. Can I play in the backyard?”
He set up a tire swing on the large live oak out back a week ago and it quickly became his little girl’s happy place. “Of course, nugget. Come give your old man a hug first.” Bending down, Joel swept Sarah up in his arms, biceps stretching his shirt sleeves as he swung her around in a circle. Sarah’s laughter echoed through the room, and you smiled sweetly at the pair of them.
“Uncle Tommy’s coming to take you out for dinner and ice cream in a bit. Ok?” Sarah nodded when he settled her back on her feet and raced for the sliding door. Once she was out of sight and earshot, Joel turned to you. “Come ‘ere, darlin’,” he said, voice deep and velvety.
Your body followed his command without conscious thought, so great the need to be in his arms. “I thought about you all day,” you admitted, staring up at him with wide eyes.
“Me, too. Could hardly focus on the job thinking about you and spending this evening together.” He tightened his arms around you, head bending to seal his lips to yours. When your lips parted at his prompting, Joel teased your plush bottom lip with his teeth. “It’s like a tasty little gummy worm,” he teased. “I could nibble on it all day.”
You moaned into his mouth, the little breathless sound music to his ears.
The kiss deepened until you were licking into each other’s mouths, hands wandering and grasping for purchase on any piece of real estate you could reach. Neither of you heard the front door open or the footsteps approaching the kitchen.
“Am I interrupting somethin’?” he asked cheekily as the two of you sprang apart, disheveled and gasping for breath.
Joel ran a hand down his face, closing his eyes for a moment to gather himself. “Excellent timing as always, brother.”
“Y’all just couldn’t wait five more minutes, could ya?” Tommy’s grin a mile wide as he teased. “Lemme get the nugget out of here before you two scar her for life.”
You tucked your face into Joel’s shoulder bashfully when Tommy slipped through the sliding door. Joel groaned and wrapped his arms around you. “Don’t mind him, darlin’. He just likes to bust my balls.”
Ten minutes later, after some hugs from Sarah and more teasing from Tommy, you and Joel were alone. Taking your hand, he led you to the couch. He hoped you didn’t notice that his rough palms were sweaty with nerves. You were abnormally quiet, and he wondered if you were nervous as well.
Seated a few inches apart, the tension became too much. “What are you in the mood for?” Joel asked, breaking the silence as he pulled up Netflix on the TV. He barely logged into his account when you suddenly straddled his lap.
“Hi,” you said when he stared at you in surprise. “You know what I’m in the mood for?”
“What?” He barely got his mouth to form the word, his brain short circuiting with you in his lap. His grip on the remote loosened, yet neither of you cared when it fell to the ground.
“You.”
There was a moment where you both froze, each waiting for the other to act first. Then the tension snapped, and Joel’s lips crashed against yours. His tongue danced along the seam of your lips until you opened them to let him in. Tongues tangled in a never-ending dance as your hips tilted, grinding down on him. Joel was uncomfortably hard in moments, pressing up against your warmth.
His hands were everywhere, fingers tenderly tracing the structure of your cheekbones, down the curve of your neck, along the swell of your breasts. They finally settled, grabbing handfuls of your ass to pull you impossibly closer. You moaned into his mouth, hips bucking in search of more friction.
Gasping for breath, Joel tore his mouth from yours, his hands urging your hips into a rhythm as you dry humped him. His mouth left a trail of scorching kisses down your neck, eliciting a wave of goosebumps to flow down your arms. Your hips rocked, gliding across his hardened length and Joel swore he could feel your wetness breaching through the layer of clothes separating you.
Fuck, how he wanted to taste you, get high on your sweet nectar. He knew, just knew in that primal way, that yours would be the best pussy he ever tasted. His cock swelled impossibly harder at the mere thought of burying his face between your legs.
“Jooooeeelllll.” His name coming from your luscious lips in a drawn-out moan caused his own hips to buck up into you, hitting just the right spot to make you both see stars from the friction alone. His mouth sucked little marks into your neck, leaving his left ear exposed to your mouth as crooned, “I’m gonna come, fuck. You’re gonna make me come in my panties, Joel.”
“Fuck, darlin’. Come all over me, pretty girl. I want to see you fall apart from grinding on me like this. Drench those panties.” Joel sat back a little, just enough to watch your face as your orgasm swept over you. It was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen, eyes rolled back in your head, mouth hanging open in a silent ‘o’ as you trembled above him, delicate hands clenching the meat of his shoulders for balance. A little sheen of sweat dusted your hairline. Fucking beautiful.
Joel was absolutely certain he could feel you drenching his pants as you came, your breath finally coming back in a sharp exhale. He had never been so turned on in his life. Watching you come apart for him, feeling it seep through the layers of clothing became too much. For the first time in his adult life, Joel Miller came in his pants with a desperate whimper.
tbc
Taglist: @mellymbee @untamedheart81 @anoverwhelmingdin @runningmom94 @leilanixx @pedropascalfan221 @lovelyjess69 @sarahhxx03 @sofiparallel @tammythr @lulawantmula @islacharlotte @allyourfavesinoneblog @lover-of-books-and-tea @pedropascalsbbg @ashleyfilm @brittmb115 @lilmizmoz @loveisacowboyyy @shotgun-shelby @deninoe @casssiopeia @caitlynsixxx @skysmiller @missladym1981 @marirxse
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel x female reader#the last of us#tlou#dbf!joel#Fall Into Me#pedro pascal#eventual smut#mutual pining#idiots falling for each other
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Elks
Elk are connected with love and music for many Native Americans, and a well-known tribe legend credits elk with the creation of the first flute: a boy is too shy to speak to the girl he has fallen in love with. But two elk-men visit him in a dream and give him a flute, which he masters, giving him the means to communicate his feelings to the girl through music.
Pairing: Jackson Joel Miller x Female Reader
Summary: Life in Jackson is quite comfortable and simple for you. You love teaching your students and running your library, you love the comforts of living here, perfectly complacent with the company of your two cats, guitar, tattered CD book, and a few friends. You like comfortable and simple, though the feelings you feel whenever you see Joel Miller are quite the opposite. Once you meet him, it seems like he needs you in his life as much as you need him.
Reader Background: Reader is in her 30's and comes from Colorado. No other physical descriptors besides her having long enough hair to put up.
Rating: Explicit. 18+ (Minors DNI)
Warnings: Soft, Joel is super sweet, eventual smut, timeline and canon editing, friends turn into lovers, age gap, Joel’s canon age, no use of y/n. Each chapter will have further individual warnings.
A/N: This is my first multi chapter fan fic, I hope you like it! I got really into my feelings of wanting Joel Miller to have a happy ending, so I'm giving him one. I hope to have new chapters every few days at the start. Every chapter will have a relevant song listed at the top, some will even have lyrics. I posted a link to the playlist I'm currently curating for the story, filled with songs about love and songs I think reader would've loved. I really adore these two and I can't wait to share more!
Chapter 1 See The Road You're On
Chapter 2 No One Here Is Alone
Chapter 3 The Middle & What's In Between
Chapter 4 Enigma
Chapter 5 Stay Awhile & Listen
Chapter 6 Hear It In The Silence
Chapter 7 Promised Land
Golden Walkway - Smut filled introduction (of sorts) to prove to you things end up very well for Joel and reader.
Green - 4/20 smut entry where reader gets a little dom with Joel.
Playlist
#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller/reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller#elks#pedro pascal#joel miller x you#pedro pascal character fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#tlou fanfic#tlou#eventual smut#female reader#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us#joel tlou#tlou fic
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Yearling - Tumblr Master List
Yearling: noun
- A young horse, older than a foal but not yet two years old.
- A still wild thing that is too new to tame
After years of surviving in the wilds of Wyoming after the cordyceps outbreak, you find yourself in Jackson. It's a town filled with friendly faces and the kind of world you hardly remember, let alone can connect with or understand. But one man - Joel Miller, another loner, like you - makes you think that trying to find your place in society again might be worth it.
On A03 | Spotify Playlist
WARNING: this fic does have plot overlap with TLOU2. It’s not a retelling of the game but if you want to go into season 2 spoiler free, approach with caution.
Chapter 1 - Break
Chapter 2 - Escape
Chapter 3 - Noise
Chapter 4 - Contribution
Chapter 5 - Movement
Chapter 6 - Shoot
Chapter 7 - Revival
Chapter 8 - Tipsy
Chapter 9 - Hold
Chapter 10 - Feral
Chapter 11 - Touch
Chapter 12 - Animals
Chapter 13 - Falling
Chapter 14 - Time
Chapter 15 - Past
Chapter 16 - Firsts
Chapter 17 - Stay
Chapter 18 - Reverse
Chapter 19 - Purpose
Chapter 20 - Healing
Chapter 21 - Holiday
Chapter 22 - Storm
Chapter 23 - Search
Chapter 24 - Return
Chapter 25 - Balance
Chapter 26 - Carved
Chapter 27 - Found
Chapter 28 - Newcomer
Chapter 29 - Together
Chapter 30 - Blood
Chapter 31 - Warmth
Chapter 32 - Promises
Chapter 33 - Discovery
Chapter 34 - Anything
Chapter 35 - Answers
Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass @planet-marz1 @kalea-bane @juneswonderlust @ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost @beccerjune @mumma-moonchild @netonetoneto @mellymbee @purplelye @n7cje @flugazi @evyiione @randomhoex @aliengirl99 @orcasoul @reds-ramblings @pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel @jenispunk @panda-pascal @sarap-77 @flugazi @your-slutty-gf @daniegraceg @partyofone3413 @cumberpegg @noisynightmarepoetry. @fifia-writes @grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123 @ashleyfilm @arizonadreamingg
#fanfic#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#smut fic#slow burn#friends to lovers#hbo the last of us#joel miller x oc#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader smut#eventual smut#eventual romance#angst#hurt/comfort#tlou2 spoilers
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✨ Look for the Light Masterlist ✨
Decided to do a mood board for my fic “Look for the Light” 🩵 It’s on A03 as well and has a playlist. This one is a slow burn, action packed, twisty ride. I hope you enjoy! Their relationship is absolutely canon 😍 This is my very first fic, and I put my entire heart and soul into it and have been working on it for six months. I am so over the moon with how well this story came out and am just so proud of it 🥰 This is forever my baby, and I cannot wait to continue my writing and more Joel fics! I hope you enjoy this beautiful work of art I have put together. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated 😊
- Rating: Explicit (18+ only MDNI)
- Word Count: 187,394
- Summary: Aly finds herself trying to escape the Boston QZ. What Aly doesn’t know is Tess is pairing her up with Joel to go on a dangerous mission to find Tommy. Will Aly survive the brooding, moody Joel or will she find herself falling hard for him? (This fic is in both Aly and Joel’s POV)
- Tags: Angst, fluff, smut, slow burn, attempted sexual assault, kidnapping, enemies to lovers, unprotected p in v, gratuitous smut, joel x fem! reader, original character, protective Joel, anxiety, ptsd, sexual tension, mutual pining, eventual smut, younger female/older man, grumpy Joel, death, violence
This is me trying is so Joel coded, and I got a lot of inspiration in this story from this song 🩵
Chapter 1: Introductions
Chapter 2: Escaping
Chapter 3: Knife Practice
Chapter 4: Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
Chapter 5: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
Chapter 6: Panic Attacks and Blue Eyes
Chapter 7: What You Say Goes
Chapter 8: Thunderstorms and Heartbreak
Chapter 9: Safe, In My Arms
Chapter 10: Bow and Arrow Lessons
Chapter 11: Vacancy in a Cabin
Chapter 12: Taken
Chapter 13: David’s Territory
Chapter 14: What Town!
Chapter 15: Held Hostage
Chapter 16: Stay With Me
Chapter 17: Your Hand In Mine
Chapter 18: Slow Dancing In a Burning Room
Chapter 19: Back to the Lodge
Chapter 20: Taking David Down
Chapter 21: Burn It Down, Burn It All Down
Chapter 22: Liars
Chapter 23: Finding Ellie
Chapter 24: Welcome to Jackson
Chapter 25: Slow Hands
Chapter 26: You Are In Love
Chapter 27: Bubble Baths and Sweet Affections
Chapter 28: Guitar Lessons and Heart Strings
Chapter 29: Complications
Chapter 30: Protecting What’s Yours
Chapter 31: This Love
Epilogue : Proposal
Epilogue Pt II: Wedding Day
Soft - Extra little piece I wrote about Joel being in love
Trailer for my series 🥰
#joel miller#joel x you#joel tlou#joel the last of us#tlou fanfiction#joel x female reader#a03 fanfic#joel miller smut#protective joel#pedro pascal#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#look for the light#soft joel miller#joel x oc#enemies to lovers#angst with a happy ending#angst#slow burn#eventual smut#joel miller pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction#tlou fic#pedrostories#pedrohub#my first story#pedro pascal fandom#feral!joel#soft!joel miller#outbreak!joel
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title: miss me in your bones | chapter one
pairing: dad’s best friend!joel miller/female reader
chapter rating: PG13
chapters: 1/?
read on AO3 | masterlist
summary:
When Joel Miller started his own contracting business, he didn’t expect all the administrative tasks that came with it. As a result, his budding business is in desperate need of help.
Good thing his best friend’s daughter is home for the summer from college. And sure, he’s always been attracted to you, but he can keep that under control.
It’s just one summer, right?
author’s note: oh look, another multi-chapter joel miller au. this one will be a slower(er) burn than “cruel summer”, with more angst. i’m in my folklore era, sorry y’all. please consider leaving a comment if you liked the chapter! 💕
content warnings/additional tags: au - no outbreak, age difference (21f and 36m), mutual pining, dad’s best friend!joel, college student!reader, no sarah, brief mention of joel’s attraction to the reader when she’s 17.
“You still need help with your bookkeeping?” Joel’s best friend asks as they sip their beers, basketball game playing on the TV.
Joel has recently branched out and started his own contracting business, a dream he’s had since he started working fresh out of high school. He’s taken a few night classes and earned himself an associates degree in business administration from the community college, in the hopes that it might help him not drive his budding business venture straight into the dirt.
What he wasn’t prepared for was the volume of administrative tasks he’d have to take on. Invoicing, pricing, scheduling, negotiating, and the list keeps growing. Joel just wants to bring a vision to life with his hands. He doesn’t want to have to sit at a computer for hours a day before getting to the fun stuff.
He sighs. “Yeah, I’m drownin’ in all that stuff. Seems like there’s not enough hours in the day to be doin’ the dirty work and get all that shit done, too.”
“Well, my daughter’s comin’ home for the summer. She said she was lookin’ for a job so that she can save up some money before goin’ back to school in the fall. She could help you out. She’s good with computers,” his friend says. Joel swallows.
Joel’s lived next door to you and your dad for four years now. When he first moved in next to the single dad, you were seventeen, getting ready to finish up high school and head off to college. You were your dad’s pride and joy, a sweet girl with brains and beauty that he bragged about constantly. You’d gotten a full academic scholarship to UCLA, no small feat, but you’d been required to spend your first two summers on campus fulfilling a certain number of credits, which meant you hadn't visited home in some time due to the cost.
This also meant Joel got a reprieve from the inappropriate thoughts he’s had about you since the first time he met you. When you’d stood by the door with your dad, welcoming him to the neighborhood, but all he could think about was the curve of your lips as you smiled at him or the way you looked up at him through your lashes when he spoke, hanging on his every word like he was spilling the secrets of the universe.
For his first year in his new house, you were there when he came over on the weekends, watching football with your dad or doing homework at the kitchen table. Joel was there for your graduation party, and sang Happy Birthday as you blew out the candles for your eighteenth year. He helped your dad pack up his truck with your boxes of stuff and waved goodbye from the driveway as you set off to college.
And the whole time he had to beat the thoughts of pressing a hand to your thigh beneath the dining table or pulling you to the side to kiss you senseless. He was equal parts relieved and disappointed when your dad drove you over a thousand miles away.
Your dad is still waiting for an answer, and Joel can’t come up with a good enough reason to say no to his offer of your help. He needs it.
He can keep himself under control for one summer.
“Sure, that would be great,” Joel replies with a strained smile unnoticed by your dad.
“Great! I’ll let her know.”
________
You’re so excited to be home for a whole summer. Between your rigorous course load over the last two years and the cost of housing and travel, you haven’t been able to visit home. Your dad pays for half your housing on top of his own expenses, so you didn’t want to burden him more with travel costs.
“How was your flight, kiddo,” your dad asks as he wraps you in a tight hug.
“Went well enough. Definitely better than driving for two days with some stinky old man,” you tease. He pushes at your shoulder.
Your relationship with your dad is a close one, the result of being the only child to a single parent and all his efforts over the years to make sure he does the best job he can. And while he often had to work overtime, he was always there for you when it mattered and never made you feel like you weren’t loved.
“I’m happy you’re back, squirt. House is too quiet without you,” he says as he pulls away from the pick-up area and rejoins Austin traffic. His words make your heart clench.
“Just another year and I’ll hopefully be able to get a job closer to home,” you tell him.
“With that fancy degree, I’m sure you’ll be able to get any job you want.”
The fancy degree in question is in aerospace engineering. Ever since your dad took you to visit the Kennedy Space Center in Florida on a rare vacation out of the state, you’d been hooked on the idea of helping get rockets to space.
“Hopefully. With all the private space exploration initiatives, should be plenty of jobs to go around. California is fun, but Texas is home.”
He smiles at you, a big wide grin that you’d missed in your time away.
“Listen, you know how you said you wanted to find a job for the summer while you’re home?” He asks. You nod. “Well, Joel started up his own contracting business and is hopin’ to get some help with the administrative work. Schedulin’, contracts, bookkeepin’. I know it’s not what you’re studyin’ or anythin’ but it might be nice to give your brain a break from all that fancy math you do.”
Your stomach erupts in butterflies at just the mention of your dad’s best friend and neighbor, Joel Miller. Ever since you first met when he moved in next door, you’ve been smitten. He’s a bit younger than your dad, somewhere in his mid-thirties while your dad has crossed the threshold to his forties. He’s tall and broad with muscles defined from hard labor, dark curly hair that’s almost always unruly, and kind brown eyes that have started to crinkle in the corners with a life well lived.
He’s so gorgeous it actually hurts.
You’ve spent a fair share of your nights away from home thinking about Joel Miller as you slid a hand into your pajama pants. Did he ever think about you? You doubt it, but a girl could dream.
In your daydreaming, you almost forget to answer your dad. “Oh, uh, sure. I can help out Mr. Miller,” you reply, clearing your throat.
“Thanks, sweetie. I’m sure he’ll appreciate the help.”
________
Joel is cursing up a storm as he tries to clean up the spare room he uses as an office and storage area these days. There’s papers everywhere, supply quotes and contracts and instruction manuals across every surface to the point where the old laptop he uses for work sits buried, battery dead from neglect. He tries to sort everything into a neat pile, but the pile is too big and scatters everywhere once more.
You’re supposed to start working with him at nine this morning. He’s got a consultation scheduled after lunch, giving him plenty of time to show you the nightmare you’re walking into.
There’s a knock at the door and Joel rushes from the back of the house to answer.
You’re standing on his porch, as you have hundreds of times, but after two and a half years away at school, the girl he’d waved goodbye to one August morning has disappeared. Your hair is drastically different and your face has lost the roundness of your teen years, but the smile that stretches your lips is all too familiar.
“Hi, Mr. Miller.”
________
You shift your weight from foot to foot as Joel’s gaze drifts over you, the feel of it hot over your skin. His forehead and neck are dappled with sweat, shirt sticking to his chest in a way that’s so inviting you have to clench your hands into fists at your side to keep from reaching out.
How is it possible he’s gotten more attractive?
“Hey! Welcome home!” Joel finally says, stepping aside and allowing you to cross the threshold.
His house has changed, yet feels overwhelmingly familiar all the same. He’s updated the flooring since you’d left, and you see the gleam of shiny stainless steel appliances in the kitchen.
“You renovated the kitchen?” You ask, stepping down the hall and into the living area to have a closer look. “The counters are pretty.”
He’s replaced the old dark cabinets with natural wood and the laminate counters are now a sparkling white quartz. He stands in the doorway, arms crossed over his broad chest.
“Yep. First project for my portfolio,” he says proudly. “Did the whole thing myself.”
“Impressive.”
You stare at each other for a beat before Joel clears his throat.
“You, uh, you wanna see the office?” He asks.
“Sure.”
He leads you to the back bedroom and pushes the door open. “It’s…kinda a mess.”
“Kinda?” You step inside, eyeing the haphazard piles of paper dubiously. “Mr. Miller, this is a war zone.”
He cringes. “Yeah. S’why I need help,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “Got so caught up with the networkin’ and job bids that I just let all this suffer for it.”
You huff a laugh, dropping your bag to the ground. There’s a desk in the middle of the room, covered in stacks of paper. A laptop sits open, screen dark, amongst the files. A bookshelf along one wall holds a printer and a number of large hardback books pertaining to business administration and general contracting guidelines. Along another wall are stacked boxes. You peek into one and find an array of tile samples.
“Think you can manage?” Joel asks.
You smile at him. “You know me, Mr. Miller. I’ve never backed down from a challenge.”
“Joel. Just…call me Joel.”
“Okay…Joel.”
He smiles, and the way it reaches his eyes makes your heart flutter. You swallow nervously.
This will be fine.
It’s just one summer.
Joel Miller tag list:
@huffle-punk punk @johnwatsn @hopelessromantic727 @whereasport @pedr0swh0r3 @yellingloudly @dragon-of-winterfell @thedeadsingwithdirtintheirmouths @mydailyhyperfixations @liati2000 @ghostofjoharvelle @cutesyscreenname @morgaussy @letsgroovetonighttt @endlessthxxghts @fake-bleach @brilliantopposite187 @mattmurdock1021 @str84pedro @justsomeoneovertherainbow @loquaciousferret @milly-louise @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @kirsteng42 @caatheeriinee07 @eternallyvenus @midnightswithdearkatytspb
Join a tag list
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller x female reader#no use of y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#joel tlou#dbf!joel#age difference#ao3 author#ao3 fic#ao3#slow burn#eventual smut
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Eight Days (ch. 1)
Joel Miller x Reader (AFAB reader that uses at least she/her pronouns)
Rating: EXPLICIT 18+
Word count: 3.5k
Summary: You’ve known Tess for awhile now. When she asks you to come on a run and she isn’t able to go, that leaves you alone with Joel. Who you’ve never met before. Traveling through the wasteland with a complete stranger? This should go great.
Can be found on ao3 here
Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Joel Miller Masterlist
A/N: I’m very excited to be writing my first multi-chapter Joel fic. Not a request, just an idea that popped into my head.
Chapter warnings: age gap, mention of guns, mentions of infected, wet socks and shoes, wet clothes, Joel sees your butt, Joel has nightmares/PTSD flashbacks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You’d known Tess for almost 6 months now. You trusted each other, helped each other get out of sticky situations around the QZ. So when she asked you to start smuggling with her and her friend Joel, you weren’t all that surprised.
She told you where to meet her, when to meet her. This would be your first time meeting Joel, you’d heard from others in the QZ about him. Just as a passerby. And from Tess. Everyone said he was hard headed, dangerous, and like a brick wall. Tess said he wasn’t as bad as everyone said he was, but you’d have to find this out for yourself.
This was a firearms run. That’s all you knew besides the basic rules of “be careful, don’t get caught, don’t get bit”.
It was 4am, raining, early spring air flowing through your lungs as you made your way to the corner of Prince and Salem streets.
FEDRA was currently switching shifts, which meant the three of you would have just enough time to make your way out of the QZ through a tunnel under a building that FEDRA hadn’t completely blocked off yet.
No one else was on the streets, you made your way carefully between buildings and down alleyways. When you saw a man standing exactly where you were supposed to meet Tess, you hesitated.
You watched him for a long moment, he kept looking around, like he was waiting for someone. Shit, is that Joel?
You quickly walk to the man and he immediately grabs your arm and pulls you into the nearest alley. “You’re late.” He grits.
“Sorry. Um, you’re Joel?” You ask shyly as the grip on your arm lets up.
“Yeah. You Y/n?” He raises a brow.
You nod. “Where’s Tess? I didn’t see her so I freaked out a little.”
“Broke her goddamn ankle last night.” He huffs.
“Fuck.”
“Just you and me, now.” He explains. “Hope you’re a good shot.” He hands you a black pistol. Nothing fancy, but it was heavy.
“I’m alright.” You say honestly.
“Consider this training day.” He sighs and walks further down the alley, beckoning you to follow. You perk up and walk closely behind him, trying to keep your footsteps light.
You follow him into a little shop, it now unrecognizable from being boarded up for so long. He shuts the door behind you both and you look at him, his hair and chin dripping with rain. You’re not lost on the fact that he’s a good looking man, although roughly 30 years older than you.
“Come on.” He meets your eyes and then continues on into a back room. You follow and he’s pushing a bookcase out of the way to reveal a huge hole in the wall that opened into a tunnel.
You got out your flashlight and the two of you entered the tunnel, you waited as he put the bookshelf back in place. He too got out his flashlight, leading the way.
The tunnel isn’t that big, something that was probably made after the main building had been built. You reached a ladder that led down and Joel went first. You went down after him, scanning the now larger tunnel for anything that might cause you harm.
“Are there infected down here?” You ask quietly.
“No.” He says shortly.
You don’t say anything else, letting him lead you through the tunnel until you eventually reached another ladder. He went up first, lifting the manhole cover at the top and sliding it away. He pokes his head above ground and waves you up, giving you the all clear.
You both make it onto the street and he puts the cover back in place before you’re both running, trying to avoid floodlights as you sneak away from the Boston QZ.
The sun is just coming up when you reach the freeway, glad you hadn’t come across any infected before dawn.
Before making it to Boston, you’d survived with your dad and your aunt since you were just a child. You were taught how to defend yourself at a young age, taught about cordyceps and how to avoid getting infected, taught about all the bad things in the world. You were no stranger to a warm gun, nor loss. Your aunt was bit and your dad had to end her life when you were 13. You and your dad were with a group when you were 15-20, but when raiders came through and destroyed your little settlement, your dad got shot and died while you were escaping.
It’s something you’d never forget, your father begging you to leave so he could stall the raiders while you ran. But he saved your life. You’d never forget that either.
You walked the freeway for a couple hours, not saying much to each other as you did so.
Joel was… pensive. Was that the right word? No. More like… frigid. Maybe he was just upset that Tess broke her ankle. Things were going to be harder with just two of you, rather than 3.
“Uh, where are we going anyways?” You finally think to ask him.
“Springfield.”
You wait maybe ten minutes before popping another question. “Did I say something wrong?”
“What?” He asks, oblivious.
“It just seems like… I dunno. You seem grumpy.” You say shyly.
“Fuck you.” He huffs a hint of a laugh and that’s the only indication that he may be joking.
You hoped he was joking or things were going to feel awkward for the rest of this run. “Shouldn’t have said it like that. I mean, is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?”
“Quit talkin’, for one.” Joel shrugged a shoulder.
“Noted.” You sigh and keep walking.
It’s another 6 or 7 miles (with a couple silent rests along the way) before he says anything. “This exit. We’ll camp here tonight.”
You praise god for the words coming out of his mouth. You’re tired, it’s been raining all day, and you just wanted to get inside somewhere and dry off.
You easily could’ve made it another mile or two before dark, but you were more than happy to stop for the evening.
Joel broke you two into an apartment building, checking doors to see if they were unlocked as you made your way through the building. It was fairly free of fungus, but there was grass growing through the first floor.
You made it to the third floor before finding a door unlocked. He held a fist up to you, silently telling you to stay where you are. He opens the door, flashlight in one hand, gun in the other.
You pulled your gun and readied it, just in case. But you stayed where you were told.
You hear him walking around inside the apartment slowly, boots sliding as he whipped around corners to check his surroundings. After a few minutes, he comes back out. “All good.” He nods and you both enter, Joel locking the door behind you.
It’s a modest studio apartment, bed tucked into a corner, couch on the other side of the room, pointed towards a TV in the middle of the room. The kitchen was small but the countertops were nice.
You prayed you’d get lucky, walking over to the faucet and turning it on. “Shit.” You curse as nothing comes out.
Joel just scoffs.
“What?” You look at him.
“You don’t really expect there to be running water in a place like this, do you?” He sighs.
You were sick of his attitude at this point. You were just gonna keep your head down, get through this run, and then tell Tess you can’t work with this guy anymore.
“I guess not… just thought I’d give it a shot.” You shrug, trying not to snap back at him.
You’re tired, you’re hungry, you’re now grumpy because Joel is grumpy… you just need food and sleep and everything will be better tomorrow.
You sat on the couch, digging in your bag for the sandwich you’d packed. You watched Joel sit on the bed, look through his pack and pull out a snack as well. Some nuts, it looked like.
You ate in silence, not looking at each other, not paying much attention to each other.
It’s only when you were both done eating, trying to figure out sleeping arrangements that he would finally start a conversation.
“Y’can have the bed. I’ll take the couch.” Joel says gruffly.
“Alright.” You keep yourself from offering other options, trying to be agreeable.
You switch places with him and although you wanted nothing more than to take off your wet shoes, you had to be ready to run at a moments notice in this world.
You put your gun under the pillow before laying down, resting your head on it. Joel laid on the couch, pulling a blanket off the back of it and covering himself with it.
It didn’t take long to fall asleep, tired from the walking you did today. Plus, you’re not sure how, but the rain really exhausts you.
It was the fact that you woke up only a couple hours later to the sound of Joel groaning about something that had you rolling your eyes.
You turn your head to look at him. He’s laid on his back, arms crossed over his chest, he’s mumbling to himself. If you’d known he was a sleep talker or whatever, you would’ve found some earplugs to bring with you.
“No.” Is the only thing he’s saying now, and the only thing you could make out.
“Joel.” You whisper loudly.
“No. No.” He repeats himself.
You pull your blanket off, getting up and walking over to him. “Joel.” You whisper again.
“Mm mm.” He hums in a negative tone.
“Joel.” You speak in a low voice and reach to touch his shoulder.
Your fingers are hardly on him when he yelps a “Sarah!” and swiftly grabs your left arm. His eyes snap open and he looks at you. You’ve never seen someone so terrified in your life. And you certainly never thought you’d see Joel this way.
He releases his tight grip on your wrist, you were sure there’d be some light bruising. He visibly gulps, his knitted-together eyebrows slowly relaxing as he stared at you for another second.
“Are you okay?” You ask quietly.
“Fine.” He nods, voice soft. He crosses his arms and closes his eyes once more. “Go back to bed.”
“If-“ you start.
“If nothing. Go to sleep.” He grumbles and turns away from you.
You sigh and turn on your heels, walking back to the bed and crawling into it. It’s the second time you try falling asleep that takes longer.
***
The next morning you’re woken up by the constant opening and closing of cabinets and drawers in the kitchen, the occasional sound of things sliding around on shelves.
You lift your head and turn to face the kitchen. “Joel?” You rub your eyes.
“We should go. Just lookin’ for supplies we might want.” He says plainly.
“Okay. Let me help.” You swing your legs over the side of the bed and walk over to him.
He holds his breath for a moment. “It’s easier if I jus’ do it.”
You step back. “What, I stink or something?” You sniff your pits. They’re not great, but not bad either.
“No, you- you smell fine.” He blurts out. “I’m almost done looking.”
You cross your arms and shrug. “Whatever.”
You walk over to the bed and grab your backpack, slinging it over your shoulders. Joel was done after a minute or two. You watched him put a couple cans of food and a pack of bandages into his pack before putting it on his back.
“Let’s go.” He nods at you and unlocks the door, checking the hallway before walking out.
You follow behind, going down the stairs to ground level and finding your way back to the interstate.
You and Joel walk for three or four hours before resting for a bit, glad you hadn’t come across any infected. When you asked Joel why, he explained the patterns of the infected, the way they combed through cities in dense packs because that’s most likely where they could find people to infect.
You’re not sure how it all worked, how smart an infected person could possibly be with mushroom for brains. But you decided not to poke the bear, leaving questions for later. To be spaced out, as not to annoy Joel.
You kept moving, going another five hours before approaching Worcester. Which meant you were about halfway to Springfield. A total of six more days with Joel if you were calculating right.
“There’s a small firefly settlement here. If I mention Marlene m’sure we’ll get a warm meal and a place to sleep.” There’s a hint of a smile on his face, if you’re not mistaken.
The simple pleasures in life. That’s what made Joel happy? Good to know. Next time he says ‘fuck you’ you’ll give him a hot can of beans and a bedroll, problem solved.
“Sign me up.” You grin at him and he actually returns a small smile. The longer you were with him, the slowly more tolerant and tolerable he became.
You made your way into the city, having to redirect a little when seeing a couple of infected roaming around.
You finally approached a tall fence, two people standing guard just inside. They raised their guns toward you. “Stay right there!”
You and Joel pause.
“Joel Miller! I know Marlene!” He yells to them.
The two men look at each other before lowering their guns. One of them speaks again. “How?”
“I’m a smuggler for the Boston QZ. Makin’ a run to Springfield. Need somewhere to stay for the night.” Joel responds.
“And who’s she?” The man asks, nodding towards you.
“This is Y/n. A trusted associate.” Joel glances at you for a second before looking back to the man.
The guards look at each other once more, exchanging a few hushed words. They look up to someone posted at the opening of the gate and nod to him.
The gate slides open as the two men beckon you inside.
Joel thanks them for their hospitality as you follow him into the settlement. One of the men, who introduces himself as Tom, takes you to what they’ve set up to be a mess hall in an old restaurant.
“We don’t have much extra room.” Tom explains. “May have to put you two on the floor somewhere.”
You and Joel nod, “Thank you. We just appreciate you letting us stay.” You smile.
Tom smiles at you two. “Go ahead and get something to eat. I’ll meet you back here in 20 to take you somewhere to sleep.”
You and Joel thank him once more before going to the counter to be served soup and bread. It wasn’t gourmet, but it was better than what you’d eaten the last couple of days. And warm.
It wasn’t particularly cold this time of year, but the rain always made it feel colder. Tonight, being in a safe place, you’d actually get to take off your shoes and let them dry overnight. You were rather excited for dry shoes.
You and Joel sat down and ate across from each other. You tried to make conversation. “They’ve got a nice set-up here.”
“Mhm.” Joel hums around the bread in his mouth.
You study Joel’s face for a long moment, the dimples hiding that would certainly show with at least a half hearted smile. They were cute. His worry lines on his forehead. The crows feet at the edges of his eyes.
His eyes. They’re looking right into yours. “What?” He raises a brow.
“N- nothing.” You shake your head and look down into your soup as you continue eating. Joel doesn’t say anything else and you’re happy to be off the hook.
Tom returns as promised after about 20 minutes, giving you more than enough time to eat firsts and seconds. It’s the fullest you’ve been in months.
Tom brings you two out of the mess hall and down the street to a small house. “Alright. Well, it’s not a room. It’s a garage. But it’s got a bed.” He says, lifting the garage door open to show a makeshift room made in this house’s garage. A full size bed, a dresser, a very old TV, and some shelves with action figures lined up on them.
“You can uh, share the bed.” He looks at you, then at Joel, who was scowling slightly. “Or- or,” Tom speaks again. “I see you’ve got sleeping bags. One of you could also sleep on the floor. I don’t- it doesn’t matter to me. But this is all we’ve got. Restroom is just inside the house, to the left when you walk in.” He points at the door connected the garage to the house.
“Thanks.” You nod at Tom and nudge Joel’s arm with your elbow.
“Thanks.” Joel finally says after a minute.
Tom smiles briefly. “I’m across the street. Come see me before you leave. We’ll send you with some food… goodnight.” He waves to you both.
“Night.” You and Joel say in unison.
Whoever was sleeping on the floor was gonna freeze their ass off. It was a concrete floor and you knew it probably wouldn’t be over 45 degrees until the sun rose the next day. You felt selfish, wanting the bed. But you decided to offer it to Joel anyways.
“Since I had the bed at the last place, you can have it.” You say to Joel as he closes the large sliding garage door.
“No. You take it.” He says in a soft tone.
“Or we could sh-“
“No, I insist.” He says a little firmer now, keeping you from finishing your sentence.
“Alright.” You sit on the bed and unlace your shoes, kicking them off before peeling your wet socks off.
Joel rolls out his sleeping bag not far from the bed, then takes his own shoes and socks off.
“I need to change into dry clothes.” You sigh, looking through your bag and grabbing a fresh, dry outfit.
“Me too. I’ll, uh, change in the bathroom.” He picks up his bag and walks out of the garage without another word.
You quickly peel off your jeans and shirt, then your panties. You leave the bra because it’s the only one you have at the moment.
You take a second to put up your hair before slipping into a shirt when you hear the garage door.
“Not done yet!” You pull the shirt down to your thighs and turn towards the door quickly, catching a mere glimpse of Joel before he’s turning away and closing the door again.
He had to have seen your ass. There’s no way he didn’t.
You sigh. Oh, well. Whatever. In a week you’d never see this guy again so what’s the point in being embarrassed?
You step into a new pair of underwear and cargo pants before calling to Joel. “Okay, you can come in.”
He hesitates but after a second he’s stepping back into the room and shutting the door behind himself.
“Sorry.” He quickly apologizes for having walked in on you.
“It’s fine.” You laugh it off.
You crawl under the three blankets that were on the bed, thankful your body heat would be well insulated overnight.
Joel turns off the light overhead before getting into his sleeping bag and zipping it up as much as he can with his head still poking out.
Over the next ten minutes or so, you hear his breathing get slightly heavier and you assume he’s fallen asleep. You pass out a few minutes later.
***
You’re woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of Joel’s teeth chattering while he sucked air through his teeth, shivering violently.
“Joel.” You whisper.
“H- huh?” He responds between his teeth clicking together.
“Come here.” You say flatly.
“What?” He turns towards you.
“Get up here. It’s warm.” You sigh, staring at the ceiling.
“M’fine.” He grunts.
“Joel, get in the fucking bed. Your shivering is keeping me up.” You order him, rubbing your eyes.
Once you hear his sleeping bag unzip and he gets up, you scoot over to the other side of the bed so he can get in. Your body had warmed the spot so you know it would warm him up at least a little to start with.
Joel lifted the covers and slipped under them next to you, sighing with relief at the change in temperature.
You roll to face away from him, he’s laid on his back, his shivering finally slowing down and stopping, letting you finally fall back asleep.
#fanfic#fanfiction#smut#imagine#joel miller smut#joel miller x you#joel miller fic#joel miller x y/n#joel tlou#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fluff#joel miller#reader insert#smutty#eventual smut#slow burn#kinda#multiple chapters#grumpy Joel Miller#the last of us#pedro pascal#tlou hbo#the last of us hbo
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Pairing: dbf!Joel x f!reader
Summary: your waitressing job has been going good so far and Joel’s finally warming up to you. Halloween being celebrated at White Pony has to you excited for all the customers you can serve…but what does Joel do when one doesn’t treat you how you should be treated?
Content Warnings: eventual smut bc enemies to lovers okay we’re getting there! 18+ mdni!, mean!joel, drinking, no outbreak!au,reader smokes, Joel smokes, Joel’s bitch ass girlfriend, slut shaming (we don’t like Michelle) groaping, fighting, mentions of wounds and blood, reader has daddy issuessss, Joel finally being NICE (will update as we progress)
Word Count: 4.3K
A/N: This shit is starting to warm up and I am biting my fingers for the barbecue scene okay!!! Will they kith? Maybe. If you can spot all my silly references in here, kiss kiss to you pookie.
Within the last two weeks of training at White Pony to be a waitress and being with Michelle almost every night, you had to see more and more of Joel. The first few days he refused to come in the bar like he always did before you got the job. It was his- as he put it, “place to be away from you.” Nice.
Michelle was still just as scary as the day you met her. She kept Joel close in her eyesight when you first came to training but as the days passed and she watched you two hardly say any words to each other, she loosened the leash on him again. Since your blow up with him, things were still kind of weird in the way that all you said to each other was, “You done with that?” and “Another round.”
Tonight you were celebrating Halloween down at the bar and Michelle told you all to come dressed as something, no shift unless you actually try with your outfit. It should’ve been no surprise to her that you'd show up as a blood sucking vampire and not just a regular old boring vampire. The black corset dress with the stockings and glitter everywhere had Michelle’s mouth dropping with shock. “Darlin’ when I said dress up I didn’t mean that dressed up.” Her fake witch nose was kind of crooked with the way she glued it to her face but it suited her. The passive aggressiveness she gave you was really starting to work your nerves but the tips were good here, you could easily talk shit about her attitude later while counting all your bills.
You smooth down your dress and give a twirl, showing off your boots that you just got in the mail. You’ve already heard from Joel how many packages get delivered daily and that “the mail truck parks too long in front of his driveway” yada yada yada. He whined the same spiel every time you almost had it down word for word.
Joel’s eyes meet yours as he leans back in the stool and he begins turning slowly while his eyes scan your outfit briefly. A sly smirk forms on his lips, “So just how much garlic should I put around me to keep you away?” His glass meets his mouth, taking a small sip of his whiskey. Your plastic tray falls at your side as your shoulders drop, your eyes low with annoyance.
“Yeah? You feel proud of that one old man?” you mock, leaning against the bar until all your drinks are done being made. The glasses start to pile up, ready to be taken to the corner of girlfriends celebrating the night all dressed up as different colored crayons.
Your fingers delicately place each glass on the plastic tray and Joel gives a breathy laugh. “I’m proud of that, yeah.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, cowboy. You're not my type to even sink my teeth into.” The firm tone takes him by surprise and his eyes flicker over your body once more before scoffing.
“I’m everyone’s type, thank you very much. I’ll take another whiskey too, ma’am.” The devilish grin appears once more which only makes your eyes roll.
“You aren’t even in my section Joel. Fuck off, get your lady to do it.” You shoot back, the annoyance not shying away from your face at all. Joel nods slowly and turns away from you, finally laying off just long enough to let you get back to your job. Michelle watches you closely as she overhears you telling Joel to fuck off, her stern look burning imaginary holes into you.
When she busted you for talking like that to Joel, it was just best not to even look at her, this not being the first time she’s caught you with your sailors mouth in full effect.
With the night flying by from a packed bar, the tips were coming in well. Everyone was dressed up as something, leave it to Joel to dress up as…himself.
“Let me know if you need anything else!” You shout over the music to your newest table and give everyone a smile before retreating to the bar. With Joel and Michelle in the corner canoodling at the end of the counter, you couldn’t help but throw up in your mouth a little. Her costume wasn’t going to last much longer, the evidence of a missing nose so apparent. Her costume was falling off her shoulders constantly, it was a bulky old witch dress and it looked ancient.
Your hands run along the bar and pat it eagerly like an impatient puppy just ready for another table and more money.
Suddenly a group of men walk in and the bar gets a tad quieter. The dress shirts they have on are so tight you can see the tank top underneath the fabric. Something about them just stuck out like a sore thumb in the best way possible and you wanted to be the one to serve them.
“Nell, how do I look? I’m gonna take that table and get the best tips for us all tonight.” You giggle and fix your hair while the bartender tells you how good you look. Joel must’ve sensed someone having fun because the next thing you know, an arm was grabbing you and walking you towards the back of the bar away from all the bustle and crowd.
“Ow Joel, get off me. What are you doing?” You shout, grabbing your arm from his grasp and groan while rubbing the tender skin.
“No, you aren’t taking them. They’re out of town assholes that sometimes stop in and it’s nothin’ but issues every time. Let Danny take ‘em.” He almost sounded concerned but the look in his eyes didn’t last long before he looked away.
You stomped your foot softly and groaned, folding your arms across your chest. “Danny doesn’t even pool his tips at the end of the night like he’s supposed to! I can handle it Joel, I’ll call you if I need you to reenact Road house, okay?” You snicker at your reference and walk away before he could argue more, your tray innocently behind you as you walk up to the full table of intimidating men.
Joel was seething in the corner, his tongue running over his teeth against his closed lips while he watched one already get handsy and try to cop a feel under your dress. Joel Miller was not jealous. He was worried for your safety and you were known to get yourself into some crazy things due to miscalculation on your part of common sense. He was almost too aware of how chaotic you could be at times but at this moment it wasn’t a joke to him. He sat back in his chair and turned it so you were in his view the entire conversation. The glasses of whiskey turned to glasses of water so he could be clear minded if things got sticky. You walked back over and he pretended not to overhear your conversation with Nell about the men fawning over you.
Joel rolls his eyes and drinks his water, the annoyance you even entertained those assholes after he told you not to, just sitting deep inside his chest. Your small tray was packed with beers and shots of your top shelf vodka and his eyes widened, already knowing how tonight was going to play out. He sighed, smacking his hand on the bar before getting up to change the song on the jukebox. Searching for what felt like forever, he finally landed on one of his old favorites.
Porn star Dancing by My Darkest Days & Zakk Wylde.
You stupidly sit on one of their laps and try to engage in the conversation but it always turns back to you. Hours go by of the conversation being about you and not in the best way. They’re asking what time you get off, where you got your sexy little outfit, what color were your panties, shit you shouldn’t be asking your waitress. A hand reaches to your neck and squeezes, making your skin crawl inside. They all smell of menthol and nicotine mixed with gray goose, too much liquid courage.
Joel grabs Michelle and starts dancing with her in the corner, her back to you at the table the entire time. He keeps his eyes locked onto you, very very closely. Even when you extend an arm to grab an empty bottle out of the way his eyes are following. They kept tugging you to sit back down, making his blood boil and his teeth clenched tightly. Somehow you managed to slip away for just a moment and make your way to the bathroom, darting around the corner into the pitch black hallway that was sheltered from noise. Joel lets go of Michelle and follows you without any sound, trying not to startle you.
He stands against the wall and listens to your sobs muffled behind the bathroom door. The tears were pure fear and regret. Maybe, just maybe, Joel had a point. Even if you wanted to close their tab and stop serving them it would just make things so much worse for everyone. You got yourself into this mess, now it was up to you to get yourself out of it. You grab a small piece of toilet paper and blot away your tears, the post cry makeup making you look even better than before. Such a silly way of looking at the situation but you couldn’t deny a good cry moment.
A chill ran down your spine as you faced Joel outside of the bathroom, his head hanging to hear better. When the door squeaks open, his head snaps up and his eyes are on yours. With his strong gaze not leaving yours, you clear your throat and shrug like you know nothing.
“W-why are you outside the ladies bathroom?” You knew why he was out here, he probably saw you run in here and wanted to report back to Michelle, or even worse, tell you, “I told you so..” blah blah.
“Are you okay?” His hand rubs his neck as he stands up straight, moving closer to you. He reaches out and grumbles as he wipes away a tear. “Can jus’ ask Danny to finish out the table, s’okay if you change your mind.” Your glossy eyes look up at him and you smile, shaking your head no.
“Can’t. I got this Joel, I just need to get through it and I’m done for the night.” Your hands wrap around your arms, shivering under the A/C vent. Joel’s shoulders drop in frustration and he sighs loudly.
“Darlin’...” he starts, “don’t do this. Look I’ll tip you whatever they were even thinking about and more jus’ don’t do this to yourself.” His soft words were actually making you reconsider but then again, what did he care? You snap out of it and sniffle, shaking off the sadness.
“I’ve got it Joel, promise.” A fake smile passes from your lips and he doesn’t take the bait at all. You both walk down the hall to find the table empty of bodies and three dollars squashed under a shot glass with vodka dripping down the side. Three. Dollars. You embarrassingly grab the money and look around confused as to what you could’ve done to deserve a three dollar tip. “God damnit..” you mutter under your breath. The glass clanks together as you begin to clean off the table, not wanting anyone to see this mortifying crime scene any more than they have to.
Joel’s frame catches in the corner of your eye, his mouth covered by his hand. When you stop cleaning to look at him, he stares right into you and for a split second it doesn’t look like Joel at all. He gets up, snatching the three dollars from your hand and you knew something bad was going to happen. Joel shoves the exit door wide open and smacks the siding of the building. As he marches outside, he sees the fancy car still sitting in the parking lot, the men outside around it cracking jokes and being rowdy.
“Joel…” You call out and immediately run after him, small struts because of your boots. “Joel sto-”
“S’cuse me fellas. Three dollar tip, really?” Joel chuckles and puts a hand on his hip, the look on his face hard as stone. Here we fucking go, you thought to yourself. Everyone from inside gathers outside and you slowly make your way to Joel, his hand flying in your direction motioning you to stop in your tracks.
“What’d you say, dickhead?” One of the men called out, his words semi slurred. His friends laugh and Joel sarcastically laughs before standing up straight.
“See, I don’t know where y’all are from but around here we tip our waitresses real nice. Three dollars? Cmon man.” He was maybe thinking they “forgot” to put down a ten dollar bill or something, no way they meant three dollars.
“Man she was worth three dollars but she can come home with me if she wants for the rest of the tip, know what I mean?” The assholes behind him hoot and holler, clapping their hands together and praising the man for the disgusting comeback.
“Joel stop cmon just drop it it’s fine let’s just go back inside.” You firmly shout, voice cracking from humiliation. Joel turns to look at you and pushes his hand down telling you to calm down. As his boots drag against the gravel making his way to the group of skeezy men, he tuts loudly at them.
“Do I have to teach you a thing or two about manners, asshole? She’s not a fuckin’ fast food burger that you get for three dollars. She’s worth way more than that. You basically groaped her all night, askin’ what color her panties are, when she’s leavin’, how badly does she want your money, but I don’t have to tell you any of that. You know exactly what you’ve been sayin’ to her all while she’s jus’ doin’ her job. So let me ask you this, you do plan on tipping her correctly, yes?” Joel stopped just as he was toe to toe with the man, not a smirk to be found anywhere except on Joel.
“Ye-yeah man um, let me get my wallet.” He hastily reaches into his pocket while he stutters apology after apology to Joel. Just as he’s pulling his hand out, he balls it into a fist all wound back to hit Joel. Never once did it connect with his cheek, never.
Joel grabs the skeeze’s wrist and twists it roughly before throwing him on the ground, his buddies getting up contemplating if they really wanted to do this or not. Joel gets on top of him, throwing punches left and right, grunting with every connection his fist has with skin. Blood trickles down his hand between his fingers and he doesn’t stop until the guy is begging for mercy.
Wiping his nose and breathing in deeply, Joel gets up and grabs the wallet that was supposed to be taken out before all this started. His bloody fingers split it open and find a bunch of cash, flicking through all the bills.
“How much was their bill, darlin’?”
Everyone's eyes were on you and the chattering started to fill your ears.
You clear your throat roughly and walk closer to Joel by just a few steps, not wanting to get too close.
“Uh…I don’t remember. It was around 213 dollars I believe…lots of gray goose shots.” Your eyes went wide when he pulled out two 100 dollar bills and folded them, passing it to you between his index and middle finger. You take it apprehensively, staring at the grunting man rolling around on the ground. Joel nods at you a little and asks if you’re okay. Just as your lips part to tell him thank you, someone is running up on him.
“Joel watch out!” You shout and he pushes you back so much you fall on the ground. A fist hitting him right in the face, “You fuckin’ prick! Wanna piece of me old man?!” The other guy shouts at Joel and hits him, starting to wrestle him on the ground. They roll around causing the gravel dust to stir up and you think quickly on your feet. Going behind the guy trying to wrestle Joel to be on top, you kick him right in the balls with your boots. “Get off of him!” You shriek and grab his hair, tossing him backwards. The audible winces and groans from the crowd echo off the buildings, Joel sits up and looks at you like you were some angel or something.
Reaching out your hand for a lift, you take deep breaths and help him up off his ass.
“How was that for your reenactment? You okay?” He asks as he begins to brush the gravel off his palms. The men were on the ground rolling in pain still, such a funny thing to watch.
Chuckling softly, you turn back to Joel,”Yeah I’m okay. You okay?” You nudge his arm and see his knuckles still dripping blood. A small nod comes from him and you grab his hand slowly to observe the wounds.
“Should get some ice on that Mr.Miller.” The glimmer in his eye takes you and draws you in, standing there holding onto his hand for far too long. Everyone behind you cleared out and went inside, leaving Michelle there alone. She clears her throat and you snap back to earth and drop Joel's hand rather fast.
“Take her home Joel. She’s done.”
“What?!” You shout in complete surprise.
“Mich come on baby I don’t think that’s very fa-” Joel’s reasoning is cut off by a groan from Michelle.
“No! I can’t have a floozy willing to do whatever for tips work here and expect my boyfriend to protect her! You’re done!” She was expressive with her hands just like your mother used to be, which was exactly how you were feeling. A little girl once more and your mom was beyond done with you.
Your tongue pushes against your cheek and you go inside to get your coat and purse. Nell was the only bartender who didn’t treat you like a monster and she started to get pissed off when you told her the news. Joel and Michelle were outside arguing and you stood by the door eavesdropping, careful they couldn’t see you.
“You’ve never once defended me from a creep like that!”
“Oh Michelle, is that what this is about? Really?”
“No, of course not Joel! You know damn well she knew what she was doing dressed like that coming to work and getting on their laps the way she did! What else did she expect from them?!” Her hands were flying up in the air as Joel’s head dropped, shaking side to side.
“Michelle she’s just barely started her life, what did you want me to do, hm? Watch them take advantage of her?!” His arms reached out, searching for something that wasn’t there.
“No but what do you think is gonna happen when she walks around here acting like a slut?!”
As your fast breaths started to fog the glass awaiting Joel’s response or even some sliver of defense, nothing. He said nothing.
Joel knew that wasn’t true. He watched your driveway like a hawk regardless how many times he said he didn't. Tommy was the first and last person you’ve been with since you moved back but that was none of Michelle's business even if you wanted to get with everybody.The door flew open and you walked to your car, getting in the passenger side. All you wanted to do was cry yourself to sleep, Joel could drive. More muffled sentences rang outside the car, something about Joel calling her tomorrow. You felt pretty buzzed after that encounter until overhearing that fuck ass conversation. That was probably the first time anyone has cared so much about your safety, your well-being, you in general. No one has ever willingly stuck up for you like that and beat someone the way Joel did. Not even your own dad has done that or would ever. You must’ve been replaying in your head the images of Joel beating that man so much because all at once you came back to the now, his fingers snapping in front of your face.
“Cmon, we’re home. You’ve got a cut on your knee sweetheart. Let’s go clean it.” He fumbles with your house keys and unlocks the front door, making his way into your house.
“Jus’ sit, I’ll be back. Where’s the bathroom?” Shutting the front door, you point to the left and sit slowly to observe the cut.
It was definitely something. The nylon stocking was tattered and covered with dry blood caked onto the broken skin. Joel arrives with the rubbing alcohol sloshing in the bottle along with a washcloth.
“I didn’t mean to push you down so hard, m’sorry.” Joel kneels down in front of you and rests your foot against his thigh so he can examine how bad it was. Those beautiful brown eyes were getting you again. It didn’t seem so far-fetched to forget everything, even the conversation you overheard, until he pressed the alcohol to your skin. Sucking in a sharp breath, you grab the armrest of the couch and whimper quietly at the contact.
“Ow..Joel that-ah-ooh-that hurts.” You suck in sharply again, his eyes going back to your cut.
“I know baby, I know..I’m sorry, jus’ hold on f’me.” He whispers as he rips the material of your tights until a large hole is created around the scrape. His rough hands covered in blood were so gentle on your leg, his fingers wrapping around the back of your boot covered calf.
“You should really let me bandage up your hand, can at least do that much for you.” The room went silent and all that was heard was Joel’s deep breaths and the washcloth pressing against you. He sighs and grabs a bandaid from where he set it down on the couch cushion, opening it to cover the wound.
With a firm press on the edges, his thumbs smooth over the entire bandaid and he glances up at you hoping you weren’t wincing in pain.
After a long pause he mutters, “I’ll be fine, just need some ice is all. Also um…darlin’..” he started and continues to ever so slightly rub the bandaid.
“I know you overheard ‘Chelle and I talkin and I just wanted to apologize on her behalf. She doesn’t think those things about you and neither do I, okay?” He didn’t sound too sure that he even believed the words coming from his mouth.
You were too emotional to argue with him so a small nod was all you responded with.
It was a bullshit apology and it didn’t even need to come from him but there was too much in your head right now, an apology was the last thing you were concerned about.
Without a word you get up slowly and step onto the front porch with a new pack of cigarettes in your palm. Joel hesitated following but he wasn’t done with you just yet. The front door squeaks open softly and before even turning around you had the cigarette held out for him to take a few drags from.
“Are you uh..are you goin’ to your dad’s barbecue this weekend?” The smoke rolled out of his mouth and he ashes over the railing.
“I’ve thought about it..” You take a puff and pause. “What would I even say? ‘Hey dad uh I know I just got my job here but I got fired because I was dressed like a slut.’ Mmm, I don’t know, Joel.” All the smoke exited your lungs by the time you were finished talking and the glowing orange light was lifted again as your cheeks hollowed taking another hit.
Joel turns to you slightly, holding out his hand with his fingers spread and ready to take your cigarette.
“Jus’ don’t tell him anything. He couldn’t even wish you luck or congratulate you for gettin’ the damn job anyway. Asshole.” His face disappears behind a cloud of smoke and it was probably for the best due to the shit eating grin on your face while his words echoed in your head.
“So you’re finally getting it I see, Mr. Miller.” The cigarette slowly dwindles and he lets you have the last drag.
“I can’t see why he’d ever treat you like that, I wouldn’t dream of treating you that badly and you really know how to work my fuckin’ nerves sometimes, little girl.”
The pair of you laugh and Joel flicks the cigarette butt on the driveway, shoving his non fucked up hand in his pocket. The dim porchlight hardly illuminated his face but the moon on the other side made up for what you couldn’t see.
“Get some sleep, you’ve got job hunting to do tomorrow.” His boots clunked against the wooden floorboards of the steps, gravel crunching as he got further across the way to his sidewalk.
“Oh, one more thing sweetheart!” He shouts from his porch.
“I’ll back you up no matter what. He doesn’t know you anymore, not like I do.”
Your face was hot to the touch from his words. Joel Miller finally finding his heart? Who knew he had one? Each of your front doors closed and you went to sleep that night just imagining how the barbeque is going to go. Joel fell asleep that night with a bag of frozen peas on his knuckles and a small grin on his face.
#joel miller imagine#joel miller angst#joel miller#Joel miller eventual smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x female reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel tlou#joel x reader#joel the last of us#daddy joel#dbf!joel miller#dbf joel miller x f reader#dbf!joel fluff#dbf joel miller#dbf! joel miller#dbf!joel#pedro pascal characters#joel miller pedro pascal#pedro pascal joel miller#code red
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Alone and Forsaken
Summary:
Alone and forsaken, Joel Miller hides himself away at the end of the world. After losing Sarah he was a shell of a man, trying to drown her memory in the blood of any soul that dared to cross his path. No matter what he did, Sarah haunted him. Then came Ellie, the girl he had been through hell with. Joel felt his chest crack open for her and from then on he decided that wherever Ellie went, he would be there. The Fireflies had other ideas. Joel had fought hard, he had torn through that hospital slaughtering anyone that he came across but he was too late. After practically burning down all of Salt Lake City, Joel banishes himself to a cabin in the middle of the woods. Resigned to his fate, his self imposed exile is soon interrupted when he finds you. Broken, starving, and on the brink of freezing to death, Joel has no choice but to let you into his life. With the winter winds in Montana being particularly piercing this season, he is forced to wait until the spring thaws the ground so that he can dump you on Tommy’s doorstep in Wyoming. Can he keep you at arm’s length until then?
Warnings: Postoutbreak!Joel, mentions of child loss, mentions of religious trauma, brief mentions of Tommy and Maria, mentions of Tess, grieving Joel, Slow burn, eventual smut, eventual soft!Joel, A/B/O dynamics, unspecified age reader age (reader is in her mid-20s and Joel is 56), mentions of violence, Joel really needs a hug in this
A/N: This is my first fic so let me know what you guys think! I'm going to continue to put chapter warnings, both you and Joel are traumatized in this. This is going to be a bit of a slow-burn so strap in folks!
Chapter 1/20 - More to come!
Chapter 1: Withered and Gone
The thundering of his heart pounded in his ears, almost deafening him to the sound of each bullet that ripped into anyone in his way. Joel barely registered their death, if asked today he wouldn’t even be able to tell you how many people he slaughtered. Forty? Sixty? One hundred? He had no idea. Filled with a primal fear that pumped battery acid through his veins, he pressed on until he made it to the door.
That door. Joel hated that fucking door. He knew what he would find on the other side, he had seen it every other night for the last four years. Knowing didn’t change anything, it never did. Whether it was him cradling Sarah in his arms while screaming for Tommy and feeling her tiny body turn cold, or being confronted with Ellie’s skull cracked open while a stranger sliced through her brain, knowing didn’t make it better.
Joel woke, as he did every night, with his heart slamming against his ribs and bile rising in his throat. His eyes were wild as he searched desperately for someone he would never have again, two someones that were gone forever. Nostrils flared, Joel huffed the stale air around him, searching haphazardly for the smell of strawberries and vanilla or cinnamon and ginger. For Sarah and Ellie, his pups.
Joel was greeted with nothing but his own musk, the scent gone sour from the memories haunting his dreams. Running shaky hands over his flushed face, he cursed under his breath before getting up for the day. Knees popping and back twinging in protest, he forced himself into the tiny bathroom connected to his bedroom. Ignoring the weathered face in the mirror, Joel hauled himself into the shower and let the warm water soothe his tense muscles.
After Salt Lake City, Joel had resigned himself to living in the first dilapidated hunting cabin he could find in Montana. It was what he deserved after failing her. Again. He was a bad Alpha, an even worse father, he had let not one but TWO pups die under his care. Living out the rest of his days in some shithole was the least he could do.
Having stumbled back to Wyoming, Joel reached Jackson and collapsed at the front gate. He remembers Tommy above him, trying and failing to shake him out of the daze he was in. He remembers the unfamiliar smells of the clinic, Tommy and Maria coming to see him. He remembers a beta doctor coming in to explain the lows he would experience in the coming months, being an alpha who had lost their pup.
As if he didn’t already know.
Joel couldn’t stay there. He couldn’t stand the softness of the sheets, how Tommy looked at him with sorrow and Maria with guarded pity, how his innocent nephew looked up at him with Tommy’s eyes - the eyes that were the same as his, the same eyes he passed on to Sarah. It only got worse when he left the clinic. Walking through the streets of Jackson reminded him of Ellie. He had to restrain himself from burning the place to the ground. After turning quite a few heads in town with his bitter scent and chilling presence, Joel left quietly in the middle of the night. He left a note for Tommy with the patrol hanging around the front gate and departed for his exile.
Sleepwalking through Wyoming, he finally made his way into Montana where he found the cabin. It must have been the treasure of some reclusive hunter, as it sat smack dead in the middle of the forest without a single road in sight for miles. The building was one story, with a slightly rotting front porch that was overhung by the tin roof. Black solar panels were clamped on the green tin roof, light reflecting against the glass and burning his eyes.
Joel approached it cautiously, pricking up his ears for any potential danger. Who would leave this oasis out here? Hearing nothing, he approached the log building and climbed the slightly softening stairs. Pushing open the door, he was greeted with nothing but dusty air. Taking one step into the room, he could tell nobody had been in this cabin for years. Dust covered the coffee table and moth eaten couch in the living room. Yellowing books lined the shelves and a taxidermied deer leered at him from the wall.
Pushing forward, Joel found a puke green kitchen with a plethora of expired canned food and knitted dishcloths in a variety of bright colors. Next to that, a hallway that led him to a bathroom with a kitschy painting of a monkey in a wig brushing his teeth. Joel stared at it for a second, wondering who the hell would have bought something like that. Was he that type of person before the world went to shit? He couldn't remember.
His tour of the house continued and he found two bedrooms. The first was a master suite with a large bed and a dust soaked brown comforter. He ignored the pictures that lined the walls and shifted through the dressers for anything useful. He found some pants and flannels around his size, as well as some smaller clothes that clearly belonged to a woman. Maybe the owner had a wife? Joel tsked at himself, he needed to remain focused on the task at hand.
Joel dropped his bag, keeping his rifle notched against his shoulder as he approached the last door to the cabin. Surely if a clicker was going to jump out of him it would have already, but humans don’t typically alert their prey before pouncing in his experience. Joel didn’t smell anything as he approached the door but he remained tense. He didn’t trust his senses anymore. Hell, he hadn’t even smelled the Fireflies that approached him as he did compressions on Ellie after the tunnel. Years before that, he hadn’t noticed the soldier's scent sour after getting the orders that would kill Sarah.
“Stupid, so fucking stupid, bad alpha, bad provider…”, he growled before shaking his head, trying to clear his mind of the poison that seeped into his soul with every waking moment of his miserable life.
Half expecting (and half hoping) to be shot dead the second he enters the final room, Joel was greeted with a sight that punched him in the gut. He stumbled back a few steps before a wave of dizziness lurched him forward again. Ears ringing, he fell to his knees and let out a pained cry.
The room was simple, with flowers painted lovingly on the walls and comic books stuffed into the tiny book shelf on the wall. Tears began to stream down his face as he shakily crawled forward. Joel grasped the only picture that sat on the peachy nightstand. Practically choking on his own cries, he dusted off the frame and looked at the picture.
Two girls sat on the front porch. The girl on the left was tomboyish and silly, holding a fishing rod in one hand and throwing up the peace sign with the other. The other girl was softer, hands covered in paint and smiling wide while holding a painting of what looks to be a Disney princess. In another life, that could have been them; his pups, Ellie and Sarah.
“It’s not them, it’s not them, it’s n-not them,” he mumbled to himself, trying to ignore the similarities while his heart rate soared.
He could feel rage building up in his chest as he looked at the girls, his vision going blurry and his jaw popping with how hard he ground his teeth.
“IT’S NOT FUCKING THEM!,” he yelled, launching the picture at the wall and shattering the frame.
Joel stayed on the floor for hours before he collected himself, giving one last look to the room before closing it for good. This place would do fine, he decided. It was secluded enough to keep him in his solitary confinement. The cabin sat near a river with clean flowing water and had seeds and canned food in the cabinets. It even had a tomb for his dead girls to serve as a constant reminder of his failure. Scratch that, his failures. This would be where he spent the rest of his life. Alone, as it should be.
For four years, Joel secluded himself in his cabin. The place had a few adjustments since then. The dust was shaken out of the blankets and the windows opened to wash out the dankness of the place. He had planted seeds and started a garden, put up traps around the area for meat, and even fixed the porch after he had almost fallen through it one morning.
Tommy found him a couple months after his arrival and he managed swindle his brother into helping him get the solar panels working so that he could have power. The younger Miller had lingered, trying to convince his brother to follow him back to a life in Jackson but Joel had just growled at the beta until he backed off. The only concession Joel agreed two was a meet up two times a year, once before winter hit in November and once again at the break of Spring in May. He knew Tommy just wanted to check in on him and as annoyed as he was, he also knew that it was the only way he could avoid the beta dragging him back to Jackson.
Jackson didn’t need the measly produce and game that Joel provided, Joel knew that. His brother needed proof that Joel was still breathing, and this was the only way Tommy knew he could get it.
Joel’s head pounded at the thought of his idiot brother as he tried to rinse off the memories that plagued him. He stood under the scalding spray for a few more moments, willing himself to relax. He wondered briefly if it was his rut that was coming but he quickly brushed that off. He hadn’t had one of those since Tess was still alive. Whether it was stress or that he was aging way too fast, they had just stopped one day. Not that he minded, he hadn’t cared much for the monthly desperation and now he didn't think he deserved the pleasure a release would bring him.
Turning the valve, Joel stepped out of the shower and toweled off. His body was practically on auto pilot as he went through his routine of getting dressed. He crammed whatever food he could find into his mouth before putting on his boots and heading out to check the traps.
The air was chilly as Joel stepped out. He quickly zipped his jacket while cursing the wind that bit into his wide frame. Joel stopped to look at the sky briefly and wondered if it would snow soon. A week into November and the temperatures had dropped drastically. He wondered if this winter would be as brutal as the last. One day he had not even been able to get out the front door with how much snow had come. After 24 hours, he had to literally dig himself out.
Sighing, he headed into the trees surrounding the cabin. Every trap he crossed was empty, save for the last one near the river. That was usually the case, with animals that sought water easily getting snared in the wire. The trap held a good sized rabbit. He grinned as he thought about the stew that he would make with the gamey meat.
“You’ll do just fine darling,” he drawled, releasing the snare from its neck before he shoved it in his pack.
Joel turned, deciding to return to the cabin so that he could properly skin his new found treasure but something stopped him in his tracks. His spine straightened. Is that? No, it can't be. His nose lifted in the air, searching for something that could not possibly be true. That’s when he heard it.
It was quiet. The noise barely carried over the wind and the river nearby but his ears zoned into it immediately. His instincts were trained for this. Joel waited a second. He was sure that he had finally lost it, but then he heard it again.
A whine.
Not just any whine, no, this whine was high pitched and light. It floated on the cold air over to him and smacked him in the face. The scent of lavender and peppermint dizzied him and his heightened senses picked up another strangled whine. This whine had sweat forming on his brow and a need to protect tensing all the muscles in his legs. He was sure of it now. This was the whine of an omega.
For a second Joel just stood there dumbfounded. What the fuck was an omega doing all the way out here? Were they alone? Did they need help? Were they hurt? If they are hurt then they need his help. He has to help, need to be good, need to protect, need to…
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Joel gritted out, rubbing his eyes as his headache worsened with every second he stood there.
Another gust of cold wind brushed against his face and the sweet scent surrounded him again. He smelled the sharp note of panic in the aroma and his legs moved forward before his brain could process the action, his instincts taking over for him. Bounding through the trees, he ran towards the riverbank. His eyes wheeled around his surroundings, a gasp leaving his mouth as he spied a small lump near the rushing waters. Heart pounding in his ears, Joel raced towards it.
-You-
How long had you been lost? Weeks? A month? You didn’t even know anymore. You had been a part of a group of people, being the only survivors from a larger place that had been overrun by infected. After dodging infected and raiders for nearly a year, your luck had to ran out.
Your group had ran out of gas on some godforsaken backroad and were utterly stranded there. Hoping to find something in the small town - could you even call it a town? - your group had trudged into the small strip of dilapidated stores with one sorry looking gas station in the center.
Everything had happened so fast. One moment you were outside the gas station watching a squirrel skitter up a tree near you, the next there were gunshots and screaming. Infected tore apart the face of your friend, an older omega named Miriam who had taken you under her wing, right in front of you. You remember screaming and immediately twenty dead faces turning in your direction. Miriam’s alpha, a soft yet stern woman named Rachel, had stepped in front of you cocking her gun. You whined and whimpered, legs shaking and scent downright acidic with terror as you cowered behind her.
“Go Y/N,” Rachel yelled at you, squaring up as the runners and clickers darted towards her.
You couldn't leave her. What would you do? Where would you go? Rarely had you ever been allowed to be alone and you never really wanted to be. Being an unclaimed omega in a lawless world meant that you had to stick to groups with those that would protect you, lest you become a raiding group's plaything.
Rachel pushed you back and started firing. Whining behind her, you tried to pull her towards the guard rail. You needed her, how would you survive alone?
“GET OUT OF HERE OMEGA!,” Rachel boomed.
That flipped a switch in you. It was a biological kick in the ass that had you turning and sprinting across the road. Jumping over the guardrail, you looked back over your shoulder and saw Rachel slicing through the advancing dead. With her emptied gun somewhere on the ground behind her, you watched as a clicker launched itself at her and tore into her flesh.
With Rachel’s last instructions to you bouncing off the walls of your now empty brain, you turned and sprinted into the forest. Passing nothing but trees, you ran until you were gagged and retched. Your chest was practically on the verge of exploding by the time you stopped and your legs gave out. Collapsing on to the cold ground, you laid beneath the foliage and drifted.
That had been weeks ago, or months, you weren’t sure at this point. It’s not like keeping a calendar was on your mind. Plus, your heats had stopped from the starvation your group had faced for the past year. You tried counting how many days you had been lost by the nights but soon, with only a bag of granola in your pack and bottle of water depleted, the days and nights had blurred together.
This was how you were going to die. You felt like laughing and crying at the same time. You had been young when the virus hit, maybe 5 years old, and had watched it pick off every member of your family until it was just you and your mother. Your mother had been kind once, you think, but aren’t entirely sure if that was true or wishful thinking.
A fairytale made up by a lonely child in a dying world perhaps?
You shook your head. No, she had sung songs to you at one point but that was before. After the infection, after your father died, she had kept you safe while bouncing around QZs in search of some sort of safe haven. That was until she met Josiah, a preacher that took you both into his group and quickly became your stepfather.
You had tried to like him. He seemed sweet at first, giving candies to you and the other children at camp, offering to teach you how to tend to the garden, bringing you a pair of pink shoes that you were so excited to have that your mother pinched your arm just to get you to stop squealing. However, things shifted after your mother and you got more comfortable in town. It became clear that worshipping was the only way that Josiah would let you stay.
Your mother followed along, biting her cheeks and dragging you with her to bible studies and all night prayer services that bruised your knees. But you could tell that she hated every second of it. You could feel it in the way she wrenched you forward everytime you protested going to the services that you hated. You had been to religious services briefly before the outbreak, your mom taking you to Catholic mass once for Christmas eve and your father taking you to celebrate Purim at the local synagogue, but you were way too young to really understand the meaning of any of it. By the time Josiah came around, those memories were barely a whisper in your brain.
Things got worse from there. Josiah became the centerpiece for the group and everyone bowed to his every decree. The alphas were at the top of the pecking order, never to be questioned especially by an omega. Omegas were to be demure, quiet, dutiful, and were meant to be completely under the coverture of their alpha. Betas were given slightly more leeway than omegas, but would never be in a leadership position at camp and would only be allowed to mate with other betas. Anyone breaking the strict biological guidelines were brutally punished. The methods were downright inhumane depending on Josiah’s mood or the level of perceived “heresy.”
You prayed for years under Josiah’s tyranny that you would present as a beta. Sure, you would never lead like an alpha but that never appealed to you anyways. You were caring and you wanted to help people. Plus, maybe if you were a beta they would let you become a doctor. The majority of the group were also betas and many were your age. Being a beta would mean that when the time came, you would have more than enough people to choose from for mating.
Much to your dismay, you presented as an omega and everything got worse. You didn’t have many friends, mainly Jake and the ladies that lived next door; Miriam and Rachel, but now you were stuck inside the house. Josiah wanted to keep you from sin, so he locked you away “for your own good.” You were forced to dress more conservatively, to eat less to maintain your figure, to pray more, to upkeep the house, to never look an alpha in the eye, etc. All the while, inside the house, you tiptoed around the rage of your dulled mother and the leers that your stepfather gave your developing figure.
By the time the infected had overwhelmed the dinky gate that protected your community, you had already been planning on escaping for months. Leaping into a car with Miriam, Rachel, Jake, and a few others, calmness washed over you amidst the destruction. You knew that your mother was probably dead, and you had seen your stepfather get his head ripped clean off of shoulders by a massive clicker, but you didn’t feel anything but relief.
The year after you left, although it was hard with the constant running and fighting, was actually the best year of your life. Nobody expected you to be anything, nobody pinched you, nobody made you pray, nobody smacked you if you made eye contact. You were just you.
“And now look at you,” you chuckled, “stumbling through the woods with no fucking idea where you are going.”
If you didn't find shelter soon, you knew that you would die. You needed to eat, to rest. There was no way you would last another night in the forest.
Your stomach growled violently, practically shaking your frame with the force. You lifted your nose in the air, searching for a whiff of anything. At this point, you were open to eating a squirrel. You shambled through the trees for hours, vision blacking out around the edges as you tried to find any trace of sustenance. Then you heard it: the loud roar of flowing water nearby.
A new sense of urgency pierced through the delirium and you staggered through the vegetation. The urgency made you clumsy and you faceplanted on the rocky bank. A small whine escaped your mouth as you hauled yourself up onto your hands and knees. Your palms smeared blood across the rocks as you crawled towards the water. Dizziness scrambled your thoughts but you pushed through with your heart leaping in your chest and eyes bleary. Faltering as a wave of nausea and dizziness rocked into you, you lost your balance and crumpled just a few inches from the water.
You whined again, louder this time. Frustration welled up in your chest with your goal so close, yet so far away. As you laid there, contemplating whether or not it would be easier just to give in and die, a breeze came from the trees and carried over the most delicious scent that has ever graced your nostrils.
The smell of sandalwood and bergamot glided over the air and wrapped itself around your senses. You felt your body immediately sag along the shore, your eyelids drooping as a feeling of peace overwhelmed you. You weren't sure what was happening, having never felt this calm in your entire life but you didn't question it and gave in to the peace.
You didn't even flinch when you felt a pair of strong arms turn you over and lift you into the air. The comforting aroma coated the back of your throat and warmed the tips of your fingers, making you snuggle into the warmth pressed against you. You rubbed your face into the source as you felt yourself being whisked away.
A soft hum came from your carrier and you heard a deep comforting voice say, “It’s okay omega, I’ve got you. Not gonna let anything happen to ya darling.”
You had never fallen asleep so quickly in your entire life.
#joel miller#joel miller x fem!reader#joel miller fanfiction#alpha!joel miller#omegaverse#omega reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#angst#comfort#eventual smut#eventual happy ending#joel x reader
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Losing our Minds Together pt 4 Dad!Joel x f!Reader / Bill x Frank / Ellie x Riley
Summary: Joel hopes to be a good neighbor, Frank has Bill fix his AC and Riley and Ellie finally meet.
Rating: 18+ (for future smut chapters)
Word Count: 4.9
Warnings: This is saccharine slice of life with smut and a Soft!Joel PLUS Frank x Bill PLUS Ellie x Riley. You have been warned. There is smut for the adults in this story, but when it gets to those chapters you will have plenty of warning.
masterlist here
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"What an artist is trying to do for people is bring them closer to something, because of course art is about sharing. You wouldn't be an artist unless you wanted to share an experience, a thought." - David Hockney
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Ellie lays back on her bed, eyes on the ceiling. She can hear Joel downstairs making pancakes for her as he does any morning he's not at work too early. He's starting with Tommy this week, an uncle that Ellie has met only once. A nice enough man with a wife who speaks bluntly in a way that both thrills and intimidates Ellie.
Ellie's room is as decorated as it's going to be. Not as girlishly done as the old room she shared with Sarah. This one is soft blue. Her bed is a slate grey with gold stars. She reaches under her pillow to pull out the small giraffe plushy. It's missing one eye, the fur is worn through years of pets.
Ellie kisses is well -loved head before placing it back under the pillow when she hears her name being called. She pulls on a long sleeve shirt over her pyjama pants and pads down the stairs.
She narrowly avoids the toolbox by the front door. It's Joel's first day at work with Tommy's renovation company and Ellie can tell he's nervous the minute she enters into the kitchen. He's been up for hours and she can see he hasn't slept much by the dark under his eyes.
He gives her a tired smile before tilting his head to the table.
"Mornin'."
"Morning."
"Sleep well?"
"Better than you," Ellie observes as she sits at the table, quietly thanking Joel when he slides her a plate of blueberry pancakes.
He leans against the counter, watching her eat with a little smile across his face. Ellie knows he likes it when she eats. Makes him feel needed.
"Gonna explore today while I'm at work, kid?"
"Maybe," Ellie lies as she pours syrup liberally over her pancake stack. She has no desire to explore this neighborhood, not in this heat. Right now the only thing she's looking forward to is art lessons with you. "Dunno though, it's pretty hot."
"Mhmm," Joel nods and glances out the window towards your house, distracted. Ellie catches his eye line and smirks.
"But maybe I'll just join a cult if they have a pool."
"Uh huh."
"And get a nose piercing."
"Yup."
Ellie rolls her eyes, taking a gulp of the orange juice at her elbow. Joel is forever reminding her of the importance of fruit and veggies yet she rarely sees him take his own fucking advice.
Joel's still staring over at your house, body tilted against the counter, mug resting against his lower lip.
"Her AC is broken," Ellie offers. Joel's head whips around to face her, brow quirked. Ellie holds in a smirk and spears a piece of pancake, eating it with gusto.
"Really?"
"Yeah," Ellie talks through a mouthful of pancake. "Hope it's not too hot for my lessons."
Joel gets a contemplative look on his face, looking back at your place out the kitchen window before he places his mug in the sink.
"Should go over and see 'bout it," he murmurs to himself. He leans over and places a gentle kiss at the top of Ellie's head. "I'll be home before five. You know my cell number, Tommy's is on the fridge. Call me if there's any problems, got it?"
"Yes siree."
Joel rolls his eyes at the honorific before hoisting his toolbox.
"Oh and make sure that cult a' yours is okay with a noise piercin' before you do it," he offers as he leaves. "Wouldn't wanna get kicked out your first day."
///
“Stop being pathetic,” Frank whispers to himself that morning, smoothing his hair down for the thousandth time that morning. It’s early, the gallery not open yet. But he’s expecting a very special visitor.
Well, not a visitor exactly. Bill who after a very brief and very awkward coffee encounter the other day has agreed to come and look at Frank’s unit free of charge. The door to the gallery squeaks open and Frank sees a familiar stout man with a poorly trimmed beard make his way into the gallery.
Frank’s pulse skyrockets at the sight of Bill carrying his toolbox, the strain of it making his biceps bulge. His hands are so large and beefy and Frank is imagining a host of filthy things that involve them.
“Hey, you want a coffee?”
Jesus, Frank. Calm the fuck down. He’s not even in the fucking room yet.
“Nah, I’m good,” Bill says as he enters into Frank’s gallery, eyes on the man in the well tailored Hawaiian shirt. “Just point me in the direction of the unit and I’ll get to work.”
“Right of course,” Frank says with a shaky laugh. “You’re probably a very busy man.”
Bill grunts in reply, following Frank to the back of the gallery where the unit sits sputtering weakly. Frank swallows when Bill comes up behind him, voice low in his ear.
“This thing still under warranty?”
“Nope,” Frank frowns.
“S’a scam anyway,” Bill mutters. “Gimme ten minutes, looks like a pretty straight forward problem.”
Frank nods and feeling awkward he makes his way back into the main part of the gallery. He busies himself going over receipts and tries not to imagine how hot Bill looks grunting as he fixes the AC unit. Frank pauses a moment before he pulls out his cell phone and composes a text to you.
[8:59am] Why the fuck did you make me meet Bill? I Had a very good thing going. Now he’s here in the gallery fixing the AC unit and he’s so handsome and I HATE YOU FOR THIS.
He’s about to send it when he hears his name being called from the back room.
“Frank?”
Frank feels his heart jump at the sound of his name being called. He quickly jumps off the stool and strides into the back room, almost stumbling over his loafers. Frank feels his entire body flaming not from the heat of the gallery, but from the sight of Bill’s budging arms as he twists the wrench to tighten the bolts.
“Just need you to hold here so I can tighten this last bolt,” Bill instructs gruffly. Frank does as he asks, holding the piece in place. At this nearness he can see each of Bill’s light eyelashes, see the streaks of grey in his beard and when Bill glances up at him as he finishes, Frank can see the tints of green in his light eyes.
“All done.”
“Great. I brought you a water bottle,” Frank manages weakly as he motions to the bottle on the floor at his side.
“Kind of you,” Bill replies gruffly. He obviously feels the heat as well because he takes the drink gratefully and gulps it down. Frank tries not to stare, but he can’t help but notice the way Bill’s throat bobs and the way the sweat glistens on his body.
“S’that all ya need?” Bill asks when he finishes the last mouthful.
No. I need your mouth on mine. I need you in my bed.
Stop it. You don’t even know if he’s gay.
“Yeah, thank- thank you,” Frank manages to sputter out. Bill casts a lingering look in his direction before Bill is striding out into the gallery on his way out. Something catches his eye, a new painting hung by Frank for this month’s upcoming exhibition.
It’s a colorful painting of two men in chairs. One is sweetly smiling out of frame; the other is a grumpier looking man sitting with an ankle on his knee, staring away from the frame.
“S’a nice piece,” Bill observes looking at the painting. “I like that one. A Hockney, right?”
“Yeah,” Frank is impressed.
“Thought so, I’ve always liked his stuff,” Bill muses. Frank finds himself struck by this. Bill seems quiet and intelligent so he’s not shocked. But rarely do people know Hockey’s work in this part of Wyoming.
He feels Bill has shared a piece of him, a private sliver of himself and he wants to return in kind.
“I like this one,” Frank says pointing to the piece next to it, “Domestic Scene”. In it a man lovingly washes another man in the shower. “I always thought it was a piece that showed such a quiet devotion.”
“Yeah, I see that,” Bill nods, gaze dreamy. “You ever meet him? Hockney, I mean?”
“Nah,” Frank shakes his head. “I wish.”
Bill glances at the piece a moment longer before casting a shy smile Frank’s way.
“Well, I’m off. Gotta open up shop.”
Frank nods in reply, wishing he wasn’t so fucking nervous around the man. He can’t remember the last time he felt this keyed up in front of another person. Frank is normally the smooth one, the calm, cool, casual one. But for some reason with Bill he feels observed, keenly watched by Bill’s light eyes and steady gaze.
Despite the nerves Frank finds himself desperate to keep the conversation going, eager to keep Bill in his orbit.
“Wait. Bill. I know you said you’d do this for free but I have to pay you.”
“And I won’t take a dime,” Bill replies cooly.
“You probably just saved me hundreds in a repairman call,” Frank smiles. “I insist.”
I insist on taking you out to dinner. Go on. Say it.
“It was ten minutes of work,” Bill insists picking up his toolbox with finality. “And I didn’t have to order a part. I am not taking your money, Frank.”
Frank nods stupidly, trying to force the invitation to come out of his mouth but all that escapes is a slow choked sounding thanks. Bill nods gently again, giving a tight lipped smile before heading to the main door of the gallery.
Frank feels ridiculous as he waves at Bill, hating the pit in his stomach as the man walks out the door and out of his life.
///
When you open the door to him Joel hides in a delighted grin. Your hair is wild, your eyes free of sunglasses and you’re wearing a deliciously short bathrobe that shows just enough to have Joel’s pulse spike. He pushes past it though, holding up his toolbox when you croak out a confused greeting.
“Morning.”
“Mornin’. Heard from Ellie your AC isn’t working,” Joel says his dark eyes playful as he scans behind you.
He’s curious to see what your place is like. You stick out to him in this neighborhood from the furniture in your backyard to the unique way you dress and he feels like your house will showcase that.
“Don’t want my kid gettin’ lessons in a sauna, so I thought I’d come see if I could help.”
You blink at him slowly, one eye shut, the other peering up as if his words are only hitting you now, like the feathers of a pillow; slow and dreamy. “Uh, it’s kinda early.”
In habit Joel glances at his left wrist to check his watch, wincing when he sees it’s bare. No matter, he saw the clock in the kitchen right before he left.
“It’s nine am.”
“Yeah,” you nod, stifling a yawn when Joel stares at you. He sees that you’re serious and he tries not to laugh. He’s been up since six and he feels like the day is well underway while you obviously feel that it’s just begun.
“I guess I could come by after work,” Joel offers, making a mental note: She likes to sleep in.
You look like you’re contemplating this, likely thinking of how today’s weather is supposed to reach scorching levels. You glance out at the bright sun and you shake your head, hiding another yawn behind the back of your hand.
“No, no now is good,” you say urging him inside with a wave. “Thanks so much for doing this. Lemme get you a coffee, how do you take it?”
“Warm.”
You give a smile that morphs into another yawn and as you walk towards the kitchen he notices the sparkly purple toe polish you’re wearing.
Joel steps inside the house, slipping off his boots and is immediately blown away as he glances around. In most homes the style is subdued and calm, a restful sanctuary for when the world gets too loud. Inside your home it’s unlike that in every way.
It’s a clash of color and style and a feast for the eyes. A colorful tasseled rug sit underneath an ornate amber-colored glass coffee table. A small bronze giraffe sculpture is on an antique desk by the vintage cone fireplace, sleek and beautifully maintained. Joel can’t help but wander over to it as he hears you humming in the kitchen. It’s an old tune he thinks he recognizes but can’t quite place. He peeks around the corner to see you facing away from him and reaching up into the cluttered cabinet for a mug, your robe creeping up the back of your thighs as you do. Joel feels his heart flutter before he moves back, eyes lowered to the floor deferentially.
He goes back into the living room, hands in his pockets and his eyes wide like a kid in a candy shop. Nothing in yours home goes together and yet everything feels right side by side. Joel can’t stop looking at the antique furniture, running his hand along the back of a particularly ornate dining chair.
You pad back into the room handing him a mug with bright polka dots. It’s tiny in his bulky grip but he drinks from it nonetheless.
“Sorry, no milk or sugar,” you say with a feeble grimace. “Forgot to shop yesterday.”
“No bother, I drink it black,” Joel says before tilting his chin at your wall. “This place is somethin’ else.”
“Yeah?” you smile sleepily, looking around your home. You’re very proud of it yourself. It’s eclectic and weird and just how you like it. Collected pieces from your grandfather and garage sales.
“Yeah I’ve been in a lot of places, but nothing like this,” Joel admits, his eyes going to the art pieces on the walls. A particularly “You paint these?”
“I take it you don’t know Gérôme,” you say with a wry smile. “This is a print called Pygmalion and Galatea, are you familiar?”
Joel shakes his head, eyes floating from your face back to the framed print. He feels you come to stand next to him, your head tilting to look at it from his angle.
“Okay so it’s… hmmm,” you pause, thinking for a moment before launching into it. “Okay, it’s about this sculptor Pygmalion. He’s sculpting this beautiful woman Galatea out of ivory, and he falls in love with her as he does. Pygmalion is obsessed, bringing this sculpture gifts, kissing it. He goes to the altar of Aphrodite and begs her to bring this woman to life.”
“Weird,” Joel offers, tilting his head slightly as he listens.
“It’s beautiful,” you admonish him. Up this close he can smell the vanilla and lavender in your hair. “Imagine seeing life in everything. The stars, the grass beneath your feet, a slab of ivory. Anyway, he goes home and he kisses the statue. Her lips become warm. He touches her body, every part and every time he does it becomes real flesh under his fingers.”
“He fell in love with something he created,” Joel shrugs. “Kinda egotistical.”
“Don’t parents do that with their children the minute they see them? Loving something they created so fiercely?”
Joel doesn’t reply. He can’t reply. But you don’t seem to notice because you’ve launched into something else, your voice rising excitedly.
“There’s also this carving about the same story in the MET by Rodin,” you say excitedly. “I really wanna go there and see it person. He modeled Pygmalion after himself in that one and I find that utterly fascinating. Putting oneself in the center of a myth and-”
Joel sees the way your eyes sparkle and he feels a strange pang start behind his sternum. Feeling his gaze on you, you seem to catch yourself, you cheeks heating.
“Sorry, I get carried away,” you tell him with an embarrassed laugh. “In answer to your question, no, I didn’t paint that. I sell most of my stuff.”
“You don’t keep anything you make?” Joel asks with surprise. You get a strange look on your face and he feels like he’s said something wrong.
He disguises his discomfort with a sip of his coffee, wincing at how strong it is. He likes coffee, but this is more like motor oil.
“Thanks so much for fixing the AC unit. I bet you’ll feel better knowing Ellie will be in a house not a sauna,” you say with a tight smile. “I’m just gonna get ready but here, follow me, I’ll show you where the main unit is.”
Joel follows you through a hallway full of neon signs. It reminds him of old motels from the 70’s with sleazy characters and matchboxes at the front desk. He watches the way you sail over the hardwood, humming lightly to yourself. He wonders if you know you do that a lot.
Joel’s shoulders are almost as broad as the door frame and he takes his time looking around. He walks behind you into what he now sees is your art studio. It’s cramped and colorful and he can’t stop looking around at it. Canvas, paints, charcoal, stacks of paper, old mason jars full of colorful water holding warped paintbrushes. A palette is on the floor covered with cellophane, a handful of palette knives sitting next to it.
You don’t notice Joel looking intently to the space around you. You’re moving your way over to the old AC unit in the far corner. There are two in your place, one in the bedroom and one in the studio, the two places you need it most. The one in here is currently hidden behind some unopened canvases.
A record player is sitting on the wood table to the far left, a stack of LP’s in their sleeves sitting beside it.
“You like records,” Joel observes as he trails a hand over one of the sleeves. “And you have good taste.”
“My grandfather did,” you answer as you busy yourself with moving some of the easels out of the way. “He had a huge collection. I’ve had to sell off most of it but I kept his favorites. When I play them it makes it feel like he’s still here.”
“I get that.”
Joel thumbs through your collection of LP’s, his dark eyes pausing over a few more familiar titles. He also watches you out of the corner of his eye, seeing you move hurriedly to get the space clean for him to work in.
“You don’t have to go to all that trouble,” he promises. “I could do that.”
“I should have tidied it a long time ago,” you insist, brushing the hair from your eyes. “I don’t want Ellie to hurt herself when she comes over.”
Joel smiles at that. You finally lean back announcing that you’re finished.
“And now I’m going to shower because I’m sweating like a pig,” you tell him as you slide by him. “I won’t be long. Let me know if you need anything.”
You leave quickly and Joel forces his attention from your bare calves and back to the unit he’s meant to fix. It’s a window unit shoved in the corner. You clearly put it there when it stopped working.
Joel sets down his toolbox beside it with a clatter, listening as you make your way down the creaking hallway, closing the door behind you. His ears strain and he then hears your shower running and he can't help but swallow. He's trying not to think about the fact that you're naked in there, soaping yourself all over.
Fuck.
Guilt sears him and he turns his attention back to the wrench in hand and gets to work. It's not a big job, rather simple when combined with cleaning the filter (something you clearly rarely do). It takes a few tightened screws, a patch with electrical tape and when he tests it, it roars to life.
He glances at the nearby window and opens it, placing the unit inside the frame. He sets it up, plugging it in. As he does this he glances through the window, struck at how it faces his own home, specifically his bedroom. Unlike the rest of the home, those blinds and curtains are always drawn, but the realization that your houses aren’t as far from one another as they seem occurs to him. For some reason it sends a tingle down his spine that he can’t quite explain.
He breaks from his distraction when he hears your bare feet padding towards him and swallows the sudden lump in his throat. He straightens, placing the wrench back in the toolbox and shooting you a polite smile. He notices the shrill squeak when you push the door fully open.
"Hey," you greet him with shower-damp hair smelling sweet wearing denim cut offs and a soft looking flowery t-shirt. "Find everything okay?"
"Yeah you’re good to go with the AC," Joel nods glancing over your shoulder. "Just noticed your door creaks a lot."
"Oh yeah it's annoying," you say frowning. "Been like that since last summer. Guess the wood is warped."
Joel licks his suddenly dry lips, watching your eyes lingering on the door frame. "I can fix it for you."
You glance back at him quickly, eyes widening.
"You've done enough," you insist, eyebrows saddling. "Honestly Joel the AC was already-"
He finds he wants to linger in your company. He wants to remain here in your strangely colorful home, feeling the warmth of your sudden goodwill towards him. He scrambles to find an excuse that will work.
"I don’t mind. It's the neighborly thing to do."
You falter at his quick response, looking into his warm eyes before movement outside the window catches both your eyes. Joel turns as your face breaks into a large grin.
"Sam!"
A young boy of no more than five stands waving outside your window. Joel sees the smile almost split your face in half. Joel watches the two of you mouthing words through the glass, your fingers and hands moving a mile a minute as you converse with exaggerated mouth movements.
After a minute of this the boy turns his large, dark eyes on Joel in question, pointing at Joel and raising his brows before turning back to spinning a circle around his puckered mouth.
"This is my new friend Joel," you say motioning to Joel and finger spelling his name out before you continue on. "He just moved next door with his daughter."
Joel watches in fascination as the four letters of his name become something like art in your hands. He also feels his stomach flutter pleasantly at you calling him your friend. Friend is a good start. Much better than ‘hillbilly’.
"His daughter Ellie," you continue, fingers gliding through the air. "I want you and Sam to be nice to her. Introduce her to the rest of the kids on the block. Include her."
Sam nods, raising his fist and making a knocking motion in the air. He smiles at Joel and then back at you.
"Pass it along to Riley if you see her," you add. "I think they will hit it off."
Sam nods again. You smile jutting your chin for him to take off and he does, giving you and Joel and salute before taking off across the grass. Joel notices now that the boy is wearing a homemade cape of some kind.
Joel watches you go back to moving the canvases, watching the way your body moves under your denim shorts and t-shirt in a way that he knows he shouldn't. He distracts himself from this, focusing on what just happened.
"You know sign language?"
"I know enough," you shrug. "Learned it as a kid and I guess it stuck."
"Why'd you learn it?"
"I had a classmate that was deaf,” you say moving the canvases to the far side of the room. “She didn't have a lot of friends n' I felt bad so I learned what I could and the rest she taught me."
Joel is momentarily surprised by this. From the first moment he met you he'd felt this sense that you were harder than you let on. Now he realizes that was a facade. You’re like Ellie in that way – tough exterior, warm gooey interior.
"Full 'a surprises," Joel murmurs. You must hear him because you glance over at him from the other side of the studio, brows raised.
"Huh?"
"You," Joel explains kindly. "You're full of surprises."
"You think?" You smile cheekily. "I've always thought of myself as woefully predictable."
Joel picks up his toolbox with a boyish grin and brings it over to the door frame. You join him in the hallway and Joel is taken aback at how good you smell, so fresh and clean like laundry hung in a garden.
"You've done so much this morning," you tell him and Joel can see the gratitude in your eyes. It's so strong he has to drag his eyes back to the door.
"I like helpin'."
He feels your gaze on him and tamps down the delight blooming behind his sternum. Joel has always found a propensity in himself to help others that makes him feel good. He likes seeing the smile in Ellie when he builds her something she asked for. And now feeling you softening towards him makes him flush delightedly.
"Thank you so much, Joel."
"No problem," Joel says feeling strangely breathless at the increasing warmth in your gaze. He finds his hand twitching and quickly averts his eyes to the door to his right across the hall. Without thinking he grips the knob, twisting.
"I'll just check this one too-"
"No!"
You shout so loudly that Joel starts, his hand dropping from the knob. You put your palm around it, tugging it shut before it can creak open.
"I-I'm sorry-" Joel starts, confused by the angry look that's crossed over your features.
"S'fine," you mumble without looking at him, and suddenly all that shiny sweetness is gone from your voice and eyes. It's replaced by that icy tone you used when you called him a hillbilly that first night.
"I'll walk you out."
Joel can feel the pit in his stomach forming. He's crossed a line somehow. He doesn't know how but he did and he immediately regrets it. He follows you like a chastised child past all your eclectic art pieces and at the door. He slips on his boots feeling wrong -footed. He tries to think of something to say to salvage what felt like a good moment but he can't think of anything.
"I'll see Ellie on Wednesday," you tell him when he backs out over the threshold of the door.
"Yeah, sou-"
You close the door in his face before he can even finish the sentence. Stunned, he stands there a moment staring at the closed door. Suddenly there's the sound of a bicycle bell, the realization that the neighborhood is alive and likely witnessing everything. Joel feels red crawling up the back of his neck, shame and embarrassment.
What the fuck happened?
And why is he so upset? He barely even knows you, so why does it matter so much?
Joel crosses back to his place, internally telling himself he's not going to bother you again. You're teaching his kid, you're his neighbor and that's all it is. All it should be.
///
It’s mid afternoon when Ellie is in the kitchen about to snag another cookie from thecupboard when she heard a soft knock at her front door. Joel has keys so she figures its you and pads eagerly over to the door, tugging it open with an expectant smile.
“Oh.”
Ellie opens the door slowly the rest of the way, her eyes fixed on the girl at her eye line. Too young to be here to hit on Joel like the rest of the neighborhood.
No, this is a girl Ellie’s own age with hair in braids tied in a bandana. She has dark skin that glows in the sunlight and wears jean shorts and a tank top. She gives off the air of confidence, even when she's here on Ellie’s porch.
"Hey you're Ellie, right?"
Who is this girl? How does she know her?
"Yeah," Ellie nods, feeling strangely insecure.
"Wanted to introduce myself," the girl replies, not even bothered by Ellie's reticence. "I'm Riley. I live across the street."
She sticks a thumb in the direction of the house you told Ellie about. "Riley she's about your age." She realizes now why she’s introducing herself and Ellie feels a sense of gratitude for you going out of your way to get her socializing.
"I'm Ellie, oh uh, you already know that," Ellie sputters awkwardly. Riley gazes at Ellie evenly, a small little smirk on her full lips. She glances at Ellie’s moving boxes littering the hallway behind her, the long sleeves Ellie wears and the pale of the girl’s skin.
"Where'd you move from?"
"Texas."
"You don't sound Texan."
"Boston originally...” Ellie feels compelled to explain. “Then Chicago, then Texas, now here."
"Lots of movin’."
"Yeah... Well," Ellie shrugs feeling strangely vulnerable. Riley seems to notice because she shoots Ellie a polite smile.
"Cool," Riley nods. "Well I wanted to introduce myself. See ya around I guess."
Ellie nods, terrified she's going to say the wrong thing. Riley seems so cool, so self assured. Ellie watches the taller girl wave and saunter off the porch, her long braids dancing behind her. She doesn’t understand why her heart is pounding so rapidly, or why her cheeks are suddenly flushing even after she's closed the door on her guest.
All Ellie knows is that she wants Riley to drop by again soon.
---------------------------------------------
Comments and reblogs make me real happy. And its free to do. So what's stoppin' ya?
#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#smut#dad joel miller#joel miller#pedro pascal#fanfic#fanfiction#bill x frank#frank and bill#bill and frank#ellie x riley#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#ellie tlou#romance#slow burn#eventual smut#eventual happy ending#eventual romance#pining
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Darkness on the Edge of Town: Epilouge
Chapter 1 : Chapter 2 : Chapter 3: Chapter 4
Masterlist Join my taglist
Fic Summary: Right before a mandatory FEDRA lockdown, Joel saved a woman in an ally from FEDRA guards and is forced to house her for the entire lockdown. I.e theres only one bed
Chapter Summary: Joel get's you out.
Warnings: Mostly just feas of potential SA, nothing that actually happens or is anything to be afraid of, mostly in reference to women being nervous around strange men
Immersability: Reader has no age gap, is implied to be approximately Joel's age, possibly older than Tommy. Is not concerned about pregnancy.
A/N: For readers of The Wrong Way on ym alt account, theres a few not so subtle easter eggs LMFAOOOO
*************
Tommy proved a lot easier to talk to, at least compared to Joel’s initial reaction to you. Still, you didn’t feel as comfortable with Tommy as you did by the end of your time with Joel. He was nice, friendly. Tommy was given a vehicle which made the journey shorter… if you knew where you were going. You realize the insanity of traveling across the country with a man you didn’t know, but what options did you have? He was safer than Ross to be sure. You had weighed the options before you left.
Joel told you the plan, that his brother would get you out, take you with him where he was going and leave you somewhere safe. Tommy had promised Joel it was somewhere safe, but wouldn’t tell him where. That was the deal, Tommy wouldn’t be telling Joel anything. He was supposed to check in with the fireflies and they would tell him updates that he was safe, and you were safe, but that was it. Then, Tommy would come back to Boston without you, and Joel wasn’t supposed to talk to Tommy ever again. The secrecy made you nervous, but Joel trusted Tommy completely. There wasn’t a single doubt in his mind that Tommy would get you to safety and that Tommy wouldn’t hurt you.
The other option was Ross. Ross, and whoever Ross let at you. You couldn’t fight off a gang of men, no matter how strong you were, how physically capable. 10 men were 10 men. Even if Tommy wanted something in return for taking you, you wouldn’t be thrilled but laying there and taking it was a more desirable to the alternative of Ross. Still, for days Tommy didn’t give any indication that he had any dark plans.
He didn’t even seem like you were of any interest to him. You never caught him sneaking a peak when you relieved yourself or bathed, he never hinted or asked any inappropriate questions. He seemed a lot like Joel in that sense. Honestly, under different circumstances, you would have initiated sex. He was attractive, he was charming, and a lot of fun to be around. Sex to you wasn’t a huge deal, especially at your age. That’s why you were so ready to sleep with Joel…
But right now, you still felt loyal to him . Joel saved you multiple times, but you genuinely connected to him. Sure, maybe he already slept with someone. You two had no pretense of being an actual couple, of any sort of loyalty. It was something to fill the time, and boy, did it fill you. You would need a little time before you went for someone else.
“Whatever you wanna know, you can just ask me.” You said Tommy one night a few days in as the two of you reclined the car seats. It was getting colder out, so you and Tommy scooted towards each other and shared a blanket. There wasn’t an air of sexual tension, even with your shoulders touching. It just felt brotherly. You had felt his eyes on you for a while as you tried to sleep. “I know you got questions.”
His voice was gravely next to you. “I think you got a few too.”
You sigh. “I’m not sure I want the answers.”
“Yeah. Me neither.”
Finally, you open your eyes and turn over to where he’s looking at you, eyes soft and brown. “C’mon. Question for question.”
“You start.”
“You’re the one staring at me with your puppy dog eyes all the fucking time. Go on, ask what I know you’re dying to.”
He rolled his eyes, sitting up and resting on his arm, but smiling gently. “Alrighty, I’ll bite. Who are you to Joel.”
A small shrug. “I’m not sure I’m anything, really. He saved me from Ross, as you know, and we got stuck in his apartment for a week.”
Tommy’s face grew more serious. “‘N he was good to yuh?”
“Yeah.” You nod. “Real good.” Teasing him, you lean in with a smile. “And we fucked, too.”
“UGH!” Tommy groans, cringing hard and making a disgusted face, shoving you away. “Sick. Awful.”
You laugh at his reaction, goading him on more. “It wasn’t awful, it was actually pretty damn great-”
“EW!” Tommy attempts to cover your mouth, laughing along now too.
You keep dodging his hand. “Got reeeeeal hot and heavy too-”
“BLEH!”
When you finally stop, you both are chuckling. You like Tommy, you’re glad he’s the one taking you if it couldn’t be Joel. As you two settle down, you both stare up at the ceiling. It was peaceful out here. South Dakota, along I-90. When you’d get to Rapid City, Tommy would radio the Fireflies to tell Joel you both were safe. If you were lucky, Joel might have given them a message to give you two, but you weren’t sure the fireflies would pass it along. You got the feeling Joel was not popular among them.
Tommy calls your name, and you look towards him again. “He make you do any of that?” It’s clear what Tommy’s asking, and you understand his concerns.
“Oh god no.” You chuckle in response. “I brought it up. I had to tell him multiple times that i didn’t feel forced or noth’n. Like, multiple times. And then it just…”
“It's just what.”
You shrug again. “Turned into someth’n more. I dunno. But he was good to me. Don’t you worry ’bout that.”
He nods, taking it all in. “Alright, your turn.”
“Hm? Oh, right. Well… you told Joel… well, you made it sound like he did a lot of bad shit.”
Tommy sighs, sinking further in his seat. “Yeah, I did. Joel and I… we did a lot of bad shit back in the day. The things I saw him do…” He shakes his head. “I can’t even look at him now.”
“He see you do shit too?” You ask.
He huffs, but says yeah.
“He do worse than you?”
Tommy shifts in his seat. “I donno.”
You let him sit in his thoughts for a moment before speaking again. “I ain’t gonna tell you what you gotta do or who you gotta talk to. I don’t know your story. But I know we’ve all done fuck up things… and I know Joel loves you. Whatever happened, he ain’t surviving for himself. There's too much pain in his eyes for that. Joel… he survives for others. I ain’t tryna guilt trip you, Tommy… but I think we’re both alive because of him.”
Tommy didn’t say anything, simply staring ahead at the windshield until you fell asleep. You don’t think he slept much that night.
*
It had been years, your life at the QZ felt like a miserable nightmare. Life was good in Jackson.
You worked hard, but were rewarded with a bountiful life and good friends, Tommy remained one of them. When you and Tommy found the settlement of Jackson, it didn’t take long at all for the two of you to decide to abandon Tommy’s plans and loyalties with the Fireflies and settle here in Jackson. The fact he’d be caught spending every free second during your respite with the pretty and slightly scary leader may have influenced his decision. You, however, were thrilled to be somewhere with running water and electricity, especially with summer coming. You could not be happier with your choice.
Right now, however, you were grumpy.
Sick with the flu, you’d been stuck at home all day while the town had its movie night. Goddammit. You always miss the good shit. Lorenzo had told you to just go, but you didn’t want to infect anyone. A simple flu could kill much easier without modern medicine.
Still, he was nice enough to bring you soup from the mess hall after.
“Can’t stay long. Zach wants me home early to get a good nights sleep ‘for once’.” Lorenzo rolled his eyes and did finger quotes, but with a smile. His husband loved and cared about him, as Lorenzo did Zach “I just thought I’d let you in on the hot gossip.” He said with a smile, pulling out two joints and handing one to you.
You sniffle, sounding congested as hell as you rock in your rocking chair. “Did Jack get dumped again? I swear to god, it’s every week. Maura told me in high school he-”
“No, no, no! It’s even better!” He said with a grin, not hesitating before lighting up in your living room, a motion which you followed. “A stranger rolls into town, tall! Dark! Handsome!”
You can’t help roll your eyes. “You're married.”
“Hey, Zach called him handsome first, okay?” Lorenzo’s thick Boston accent came out even more when he was animated. “Anyway, he’s a father too. Road in with a teenager I dunno, 17? Or 10?”
“Those are wildly different ages.”
Lorenzo brushed you off. “Whatever, point is, single father. That's hot.”
You scrunch up your nose. “Are we sure that’s his daughter? Not some sicko we gotta kill?”
“Now, see, I ASKED THAT!” Lorenzo waves his hands around. “But Zach asked Jack who asked Maura who asked Maria-” Deep breath. “Who was suuuuuuper fucking cryptic about it. Seems Tommy knows him, and you know how Tommy is about his past.”
You did know, actually. You lean in with a smile, happy someone is filling you in on what you missed. “What’d she say?”
“Just that the girls his kid, and she’s taken care of and” More finger quotes “‘Tell Lorenzo to mind his damn business’”
That made both of you laugh. You and Lorenzo frequently caused problems despite your age. All in good, harmless fun, but the two of you were more like teenagers sometimes, and more often than not, you dragged a few friends into it.
“Are they staying in Jackson?”
“Doesn’t seem like it. Dunno why though, nice place for a kid here. But maybe her mom is somewhere out there. Either way, I’m gonna try and talk to him tomorrow, maybe-”
A knock on the door. Lorenzo frowned. “Damn honey, you got friends other than me?”
“Oh shut the fuck up.” You giggle, kicking him. “Answer the door for me, I’m sick and dying.”
Lorenzo kicked you back, but did as you asked. You couldn’t see who was there, but watched Lorenzo. “Oh. Uh. Hello?”
“Renzo, whose there?” You call. Lorenzo turns around, mouthing dramatically. ‘Oh my gooooood’
He turns back. “Can I help you?” You don’t hear the reply, but Lorenzo keeps a hand on the door handle and on the frame. Goofy gossip he is, he is no idiot and takes your safety seriously. He’s not just going to let anyone inside. Lorenzo turns around to face you again. “Hey, you know a Joel?”
Joel. Blood rushes through you and you stand up, wobbly. The man from Tommy’s past is Joel. Who the hell is the kid? Him and Tess have a secret daughter or something? You hadn’t told Lorenzo, or anyone for that matter, of how you escaped the QZ out of respect for Tommy and his desire to leave that life behind him, so it’s no wonder Lorenzo looked so confused. “JOEL?!”
A tall, insanely broad body pushed past Lorenzo, and you ran to him despite your illness. Joel calls your name, breathes it out like a sigh of relief, a breath he’s been holding since you left.
*
It had been a long day for Joel. Seeing Tommy again was incredible, Gods grace, and knowing he was not only alive but thriving healed something in him.
You were the cherry on top of the sundae.
He held out no hope that you’d remained single. It would be selfish and stupid… but he couldn’t deny to himself that he was relieved when you explained the man who opened the door to your home was not only not a husband or boyfriend, but married himself and not a threat.
Joel sat on the couch and was thrilled when you immediately scooted right next to him. You spent hours catching up, he explained it all to you, everything with Ellie, how he got here. All the loss… In turn, you told him your travels with Tommy, the life you have here now… And how you’re single. Finally, Joel explained why he came here.
Originally, when Tommy said you were here, he wasn’t going to try and find you. It’d just hurt too much to say goodbye again when he’d already to leaving Tommy… but then he decided he wasn’t leaving, that Tommy would take Ellie… then the fight with Ellie. He needed you. Joel explained the fight.
“Joel…” You said, admonishing him gently and you stroked his hair. Joel was laid out on your lap.
“I know, I know… I just… It’s like that book.”
He can feel your stomach chuckle. “White Fang, I know the one.”
“Yeah. That one. I just… I felt like I had to hurt her, to get her to let go on me. Tommy would be better. He’s younger, stronger, kinder.”
“But he’s not you.” You wait until Joel looks up at you. “You’ve protected her this far. She trusts you. She don’t know Tommy at all and baby.” You card your fingers through his curls. “He’s a man she doesn’t know. That’s a scary thing, she don’t know what kind of man he is.”
Joel starts to sit up, defensive. “Tommy ain’t no-”
“Baby, relax, I know.” You settle him down, de-ruffle his feathers. “I know, Tommy’s the sweetest piece of pie. But she don’t know that. Most importantly, she trusts you . She loves you .” You lean down to kiss his forehead. “I’d love for you to stay here with me, I really would, and if you want, I’ll be waiting here for you. But I think you know what you need to do.”
*
He did. He had to give her a choice. Unsurprisingly and illogically, Ellie chose him. Joel swore he’d come back to you, that he’d make things right with Ellie and get her where she needed to be…
When he thought he was dying, it was Ellie, Tommy, Sarah, you who ran through his head.
And months later, after all the violence and carnage and almost losing Ellie twice, when he walked into town, after seeing and hugging Tommy and meeting his little niece, Catherine Sarah, it was you he went searching for.
Unsurprisingly, he found you at the bar with Lorenzo again, and who he later found was Lorenzo’s husband, Zach. Throughout the years, Joel would get to know your friends, and consider them friends of his own. He’d marry you, Tommy standing as his best man and your close friend both, little Catherine as your flower girl. You’d get to know and love Ellie, provide the maternal figure she needed in her life and a mediation between the two when things got tense. He’d fuck you into the mattress that night and you’d ride him for what seemed like hour the next morning, spending a day in bed until both of you were too aching a raw to go again. That would all come latter.
Right now, as he approached you from behind and Lorenzo not to subtly kicked you, to make you turn around, only one thing mattered.
“Joel!”
“Hey baby, can I have this dance?”
**********************
sweetiiiieeesssss
Anyway yall theres your happy ending you wanted!!!!
Now were all wrapped up.
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One Door Closes & Another One Opens
Joel x OFC!Divorce Lawyer
Explicit, 18+
I Need Help
Main MasterList & Series Masterlist - My AO3
Summary: She’s a divorce attorney and he’s a husband looking for help to save his daughter, and himself, from his gambling addict wife. Renae Russo is a woman who fights for her clients and wins. She’s satisfied with her life and what she does - but she wishes she could have a little more. What happens when Joel Miller becomes her client and an old flame of Renae’s reignites in the same breath?
Chapter Summary: How can a diner affect two peoples lives and the way they live? It’s like the butterfly effect and weird coincidences all wrapped into one, for both Joel and Renae.
Word count: 10.1k
Warnings: Angst, verbal fight
—
Joel can feel the tension in the truck between him and Sarah, it seems every other second he’s glancing over at Sarah next to him in his rear view mirror and he just watches the way her small face contorts, like she’s trying to find a way to talk about it. He can only imagine the questions she has about this morning, or the situation as a whole. But frankly, he’s more worried about his answers to her - how would he explain it in a way she would understand, but without totally degrading Annie?
Because she is still her mom.
His palms can’t help but sweat and constantly re-grip the steering wheel multiple times, and his stomach softly growls but it’s hidden by the country music that flows through the truck. He’s so nervous and the lack of sleep has him feeling even more on edge. He’s never been like this around Sarah - but she’s also never witnessed first hand, or at least to Joel’s knowledge, how bad Annie actually is.
“So, dad,” the sweet angelic voice soothes his ears, but also scares him, “What exactly is going on with mom?”
There it is - the one dreadful question he didn’t want to hear, especially today. Umm, well, he’s trying to think of something, really anything to say to her while he’s focusing on the morning traffic in front of him, only about a block away from her school.
“She just isn’t the same. Did- did I do somethin-“
“No,” he blurts out and turns his head, loud enough to startle her for only a second, and look back at him as he stares into her beautiful doe eyes, “Don’t ever say that alright? Mama’s just got some of her own things she’s gotta sort through - I can’t help her, Grandma ‘n Grandpa can’t help, only she can. It's never your fault, ‘kay?”
Sarah just nods her head and whispers, I love you. Joel can feel the water glaze over his eyes, so he glances back to the driveway that leads to her school, then back to her. “I love you too baby girl. Now,” he clears his throat as he pulls up to the front of the building, puts the truck in park and twists his torso to look at her fully. “I don’t want this mornin’, or the things about Mama, to mess with your head. Go have fun with your friends, learn somethin’ new that you can tell me at dinner t’night, alright? I love you so much, my little princess.”
A genuine smile takes over the meek one she had, and she leaps out of her seat and wraps her arms around Joel’s shoulders and tightly squeezes. You’re the best, she whispers into his neck and he’s somewhat surprised, but he whisks those thoughts away and mindlessly hugs her back.
This is his daughter, and Annie may be her mom, but Joel will be damned if he continues to let her act like this, especially since he knows that it’s starting to affect Sarah.
“Alright, dad,” she laughs, “I’m gonna be late!” Joel lets go of her, sorry sorry kiddo, and watches as she slides over to her door and hops out the truck, but before she closes it she tells him she loves him one more time. Joel blows a kiss to her and waits until she’s in the school to pull away.
Sarah picked out her outfit today and surprisingly, it turned out cute; A simple light purple t-shirt, white capri cargo pants, and her purple and white sneakers. Her gorgeous brown hair was pulled back into a low bun, one of her favorite hairstyles for school.
He can’t help but feel warm and proud about his intelligent, beautiful daughter. He pulls out from the school and continues down the main road to his house and he dreads having to face the reality that waits for him.
—
With his house key in the door knob, Joel takes a deep breath before he twists the key to unlock it and deal with Annie. This is the last time, he mumbles as he pushes the door open and locks it behind him. Deciding to not dwell on this anymore than he has to, he walks down the short hallway that leads to the kitchen where he sets his keys down and grabs cleaning supplies from the cabinet under the sink.
Again, this has become part of his egregious routine and Joel despises it every single time, mainly because he never would’ve guessed this is how his life would’ve turned out to be. He married Annie because he genuinely loved her, and she loved him.
Maybe they were naive to get married only after two years of dating and knowing each other. But Joel felt that she was the love of his life, he was acting like a teenager trapped in a thirty year old body.
Their chemistry was like they were meant to be, Annie completed him in ways he never imagined and he matured a lot in their relationship - more than her it seems now. The sex was nothing Joel expected out of her, it became one of the main reasons he loved her was because of her skills in bed. The way she could take his whole cock in her throat and let him ruin her face how he wanted, had Joel obsessed. A major red flag now that Joel looks back on it. But they were so happy the twelve years before Sarah and the couple years after but Joel’s love for her has vanished completely; all he cares about is Sarah and Tommy.
When Annie was hammered one night about a year ago, she told Joel that she simply fell outta love with him because he gives so much time and attention to Sarah. Joel absolutely lost his mind that day, he came this close to kicking her out then and there but he just packed a bag for Sarah, picked her up from school, and they stayed at Tommy and Maria’s for the weekend.
This has happened more times than he’d like to admit and Joel is not proud of it or himself for allowing it, but he is proud of Sarah and how well she’s been handling herself.
Her grades have never slipped past a B-, she’s never been in detention, she still is the bubbly little girl that Joel remembers, and she’s still very involved with her group of girlfriends - Joel just worries a lot about her, always will. He just prays that it stays that way, even though he knows as she gets to be a teen, she may have some issues with things, in which Joel will be there every step of the way with her.
“Joel?” Annie’s tired voice comes from the living room, “Is that you baby?”
“Yep.” His voice monotone as he stands up with a small plastic bag full of dirty paper towels in one hand and cleaners in the other. “Be there in a minute.” Although Joel wants nothing more than to eat some greasy food and go to sleep - he’s probably accumulated four hours of sleep this whole week - Joel knows that he’s not going to be able to do any of that, this Wednesday is going to kick his ass.
After throwing away the soaked rags away in the trash can that sits behind the garage, he heads back inside, washes his hands, and grabs a small brown wash cloth and runs it under cold water, making sure to ring it out so it’s not sopping wet, otherwise she’ll complain about it dripping down her neck, and he doesn’t wanna hear it.
Joel walks into the living room and spots Annie laying on the brown sectional that’s against the huge front window. The suns blocked by the blackout shades that are partially over the window, a beam of light shines through the sliver in the middle.
“There you are,” Annie purrs, shifting to her side to look at Joel. “Worried me for a second.” He can tell she’s sobered up since he left her in the bedroom over an hour and a half ago. She showered, her damp blonde hair clings to her shoulders and neck, she’s wearing Joel’s gray sweatpants and his Texas Longhorns shirt.
Before he lost his love for her, this would’ve had Joel drooling while crawling to her, then fucking her into oblivion. But now, he has no physical reaction to her anymore, hasn’t for two years. Any time she tries to initiate anything sexual, Joel’s body doesn’t react - April fifth, two-thousand twenty-two was the last time they fucked and there was no attachment from Joel. He only did it to see if the chemistry and spark was still there, which it was not. It’s pretty sad if you really think about it.
Yeah yeah, Joel mumbles as he slightly bends over and sets the washcloth on her forehead while she just stares at him. He can’t help but feel livid about this morning, it’s the latest she’s come back and he can’t stop hearing Sarah’s, dad, on loop. It breaks his heart every time.
“You can’t keep doin’ this Annie.” Joel scolds her as he takes a step back, folding his arms over his puffed chest, “This is not healthy, or safe for you.”
Annie sits up, moving the cloth to the top of her head, and stares back at Joel, her bright blue eyes glowing, he can see the gears turning in her brain. “Wait…what?” Her expression is one that Joel hasn’t seen since she was sober, it’s like she’s actually listening to what he has to say. Which rarely happens anymore.
Now he’s getting angry, because she’s acting like she’s done nothing wrong or that this is all normal - which it’s not. Joel can’t help but scoff at her, “You’re a piece of work, ya’ know that? Did you not hear Sarah this mornin’ when I had to carry your drunk ass to bed?”
“No, I-“
“Didn’t think so.” He turns to walk away, he can’t have this conversation right now because he will snap on her. Then that will be something he will regret.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Annie stands up and walks to him, the cool rag being thrown to the floor, “Huh?”
Joel spins around and in seconds in her face as he calmly, but strongly tells her, “I’m filing for divorce ‘n full custody of Sarah. That’s what I mean.”
“You can’t- Joel, no-“ Annie can’t form a sentence, she’s speechless from his threats, which she knows he’ll act on. Joel knows it too and he’s not scared, so he starts to walk away again. But Annie snags his left forearm, forcefully spinning him to face her, the pleading demeanor now forming into an evil one.
“You are not taking my daughter.” She snarls, her eyes never leaving him in a death stare, her body is vibrating from the adrenaline flowing. “Over my dead body, Joel.”
Joel can’t help but smirk at her sudden confidence, even though he knows she somewhat means it, there’s no way she’s gonna stick to it. “You’re already halfway there,” he leans down so he’s inches away from her face and whispers, “Why don’t ya’ go finish the job for me?” He knows he shouldn’t say it, but he can’t help himself - he’s been a doormat for so many years.
Something changes in Annie’s eyes, something dangerous. Joel should’ve seen it coming, but he doesn’t or at least not until it’s too late. Annie winds her right hand back and smacks Joel across the face, her acrylics scraping his cheek and tip of his nose. Fucking asshole, she whispers behind tears filling her eyes. Joel can’t do anything but smirk with his tongue in his cheek as he stands back up and just turns around to leave.
“You know,” he’s about to reach the corner that leads to the garage when he hears it, “A real husband would help his wife, not abandon her when she really needs him.” This punches Joel in the gut more than the slap did, because all he’s done for the past four years is be the husband who takes care of his wife who has an addiction, multiple, that she won’t admit to.
He’s the one who’s given up everything for her, he can’t remember the last time he had fun or a night to himself - his life revolves around Annie. But he has no fight left in him, he wants to give up on this and he has every right to. Joel knows there’s nothing left for him to do or to try to fix - this is the end.
“Same could be said ‘bout the wife.” He mumbles loud enough for her to hear and he sees the vengefulness and pain spread across her face before he continues to leave. Snagging his keys off the counter where he left them, Annie continues to cry and shout at Joel; everything from I’m sorry, to fuck you, Joel, to you’re not taking my daughter, until he slams the door behind him.
Now in his truck, Joel flips between skipping work or sucking it up and going in, but he decides there’s no way he could have a good work day, or even be productive. He’s simply too exhausted to be any kind of help to anyone right now. As he exits the cul de sac and hits a main road, Whitney st, he grabs his phone from the seat next to him and calls Tommy, he knows he’ll understand. Tommy’s the only one who Joel can really talk to about the things going on with Annie, so he knows how bad it is.
After the first four or five rings, he picks up, “Hey Joel, what’s up?” With one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding the phone to his ear, Joel sighs and tells him he’s not gonna make it in today.
“Annie again?”
“Yeah, I’ll talk to you tomorrow ‘bout it all.” He sighs, turning down one of the million dirt roads, Cherry Ave, in silence.
“Alright, go get some sleep, big bro. Tell Sarah I said hi for me. ‘Kay?”
Will do, see ya. Joel hangs up and throws his phone back on the leather seat next to him, then moves to turn up the radio so he can mindlessly listen to it.
“There are days every now and again
I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close”
“Damn song,” he mumbles as he leans to his left and grabs his pack of Marlboro Red cigarettes while listening to the music. He grabs one and lifts it to his lips where it sits between the top and bottom, he flicks his baby blue lighter on and holds the flame on the end of the cigarette, quickly glancing to the road and back while he inhales lightly at the same time, making sure it’s lit. Once he feels the rush of nicotine hit his throat and flow through his chest, and a cloud of white smoke fills the truck and billows out the window, a sense of calmness swarms him from the inside out.
Joel continues to drive aimlessly for the next two hours, losing count of how many cigarettes he smokes, just wishing him and Sarah could just run away and start somewhere else. A place where she could flourish without the fear of her mother, where Joel could be the father he knows Sarah needs. And who knows, maybe even find someone for himself, to be an actual partner.
The dinging of his gas tank brings him back to reality, he glances down and sees the light is on, god damnit. He did not mean to drive that much, he needed this tank to last him till Friday but looks like he’ll have to fill up now and be broke for the rest of the week. Luckily he was on his way back, so he’s close to the city so he can make it to a Speedway that’s less than a couple blocks away.
“Three eighty-six?” He can’t help but laugh in disgust at the ridiculous gas prices as he pulls up to a pump,“What a joke.” Shutting his truck off, he rubs his eyes with his fingertips to help relieve the fuzziness that sits behind them. After recouping himself enough to go inside, he pulls his wallet out of his back pocket and checks how much cash he has, pulling out two fifties and six twenties. Not as bad as he thought.
While debating which would be the best financial decision, his stomach growls like a pack of wolves. It hits him that he hasn’t eaten anything - he glances at his wrist watch that reads eleven twenty-two - in about twenty hours and it’s starting to affect him.
Joel remembers Jes’s Diner is only a mile away from here, his favorite place for brunch, which sounds fantastic to him right now. So he decides to use one of the fifties and one of the twenty’s, seventy should get him close to a full tank. So he puts the rest of the cash back in his wallet and hops out his truck to go pay for his gas before he heads to the diner.
—
Renae takes one last puff off her cigarette before she throws it to the sidewalk and smooshes it with her larger part of her heel, squishing it making sure it’s out. She’s meeting up with Gia and Bianca at the same restaurant they always do when they come home, Jes’s Diner, it’s just before noon when she gets there. She feels relaxed mainly because she doesn’t have any appointments until three thirty PM, so she can spend a good chunk of her time with her sister and niece.
The restaurant has an outdoor seating area with multiple large fans on the ceiling which helps to keep the air flowing, and since it’s the middle of May in Austin, it's warm.
“Auntie!” Bianca basically yells and leaves her chair to run to Renae when she spots her about two tables away. “Hi Lovebug!” Renae cheers back as she holds Bianca under her armpits and lifts her up into a tight hug, slightly swinging her small body side to side. I missed you so much, Bianca mumbles into the crook of Renae’s neck, and she tells the girl the same before she walks on over to the round table where Gia sits with rosy cheeks and a warm smile.
The cement causes her white colored heels to take over the slightly enclosed area, if she’s getting looks or stares she doesn’t care. Renae always has heels on her feet - it’s a rare sight for her not to. The only place she doesn’t is at the gym - other than that, you never see her without them. She knows the clicking of them on hard surface floors can annoy or distract a lot of people, but she doesn’t let the opinions of others influence things she loves.
And her main love will always be her heels - next to Bianca and Frankie.
“Alright B, sit down please.” Gia looks up at Bianca, who’s still in Renae’s arms, “You’re gettin’ too big for that, soon you’ll be as tall as Auntie Renae.” She can’t help but laugh as she watches Renae let Bianca down to the floor and turn to face her.
“And hi, Mrs. New York!” Renae smiles and slightly bends over to hug Gia, so she doesn’t have to stand up from her chair. Gia coined that name for herself when she first moved and, when Renae started saying it, it just stuck. So she calls her that every time, it’s even Gia’s contact name in Renae’s phone. Hi baby, Gia hugs her tightly for a moment, then let’s go and let's Renae walk to the other side of the table and sit down.
As she sits down she adjusts the hair clip that holds her vibrant loosely curled hair so it’s off her neck. Even with the fans, the Austin heat is rampant this time of day and year almost unbearable if not taken seriously. Gia always tells Renae she’s crazy for still having her vibrant long, thick hair down or how she wears jeans a lot of the time but Renae has become accustomed to the weather by now, after living in Texas for her whole life.
“So what’s new? Give me all the ‘deets!” Renae questions as she rests her chin in her right palm, while her left hand lays on the table. Bianca’s coloring one of the kid menus that they have here while Gia starts talking about their wonderful little world.
“Well, little miss Bianca here,” she lightly pinches Bianca’s cheek before letting go, “just finished her fifth grade class and will be at the middle school next year!” Renae looks over to her and she can’t help but grin from ear to ear about her niece. Look at you lovebug, she raises her left hand causing her jumble of thin gold bracelets to slide down her arm, for a high five and Bianca returns with a slap. She then goes right back to her coloring and not really paying attention to the conversation between Gia and Renae.
“Hi, welcome to Jes’s! I’m Ariana and I’ll be your server today. What drinks can I start you beautiful ladies with?” The cheery waitress asks as stands between you and Gia with her small notepad and pen.
“Chocolate milk, please!” Bianca tells her, lifting her eyes off her menu for a second before going back to it. Alrighty, miss? Ariana nods her head towards Gia. Just a water with a lemon, thank you. Renae’s thrown off by her request, usually the two of them would get the bottomless mimosas. She cocks her head to the side at Gia, who’s now trying to avoid eye contact.
“And for you miss?”
“Uh, I’ll do a mimosa, please.”
“Perfect, I’ll be right back with those for you guys!” Then she’s off to retrieve their drinks.
“Just water? What is goin’ on?” Renae can’t help herself, she’s gotta know if something is up because the only time Gia will order only a water is when-
“Wait- are you pregnant?” She doesn’t mean for it to come out as loud as she did. Gia can’t help but laugh and nod her head at Renae’s expression. Oh my god, Renae squeals as she scoots her chair back enough for her to stand up and slide over to the other side of the table where Gia is.
Gia stands up and Renae is finally able to see the medium sized bump that she’s been hiding. “Holy fuck- congratulations!” Renae says in pure love and shock as she hugs her younger sister, “What are you having?” Renae can't get the words out fast enough before she proceeds to pay attention to her bump. Hey, little thing in there, she whispers as she lightly holds her hands over the sundress that covers her sister's growing belly.
“We’re not sure, so we decided we wanted to find out in the delivery room. Robert is excited, he’s gone out and gotten piles and piles of things for the baby - a mix of boy things, girl things, and neutral things. I almost feel like he’s more excited than I am,” Gia laughs before Renae hugs her for the last time before returning to her seat.
“How do you feel, lovebug?” Renae asks Bianca, as she dabs her waterline with the napkin, trying her best to not ruin her makeup. I can't wait to be a big sister, I’m gonna be just like you auntie! The three of them giggle amongst themselves as Ariana comes back with their drinks.
“Are we ready to order or do we need a couple more minutes?” She asks with her animated hands and voice, the three of them look at each other and agree they're ready. Bianca orders first, followed by Gia, and then Renae. Ariana tells them it should be out soon and to just wave for her if they need anything until then.
Gia and Renae get back to chatting about Gia’s life in New York and with the new baby on the way. Renae is ecstatic for the both of them; but that hidden jealousy creeps up on her even though Gia and Robert totally deserve this. She just wishes those kinds of life changing experiences would happen to her before they did with Gia, or even in Renae’s life at all.
Maybe it’s an older sister thing. Always wanting to be the first to do something special, which she did; Renae was the first one in the family to get a college degree and to become an extremely successful woman, a lawyer even. She’s highly proud of herself for believing she could do it, but there’s still something missing and with Gia having it all, it hits Renae directly and hard. But after really thinking about what exactly that something is, she gets it.
Love.
“I have to pee, I'll be right back. B, do you have to go?” Gia asks her daughter, who agrees and goes along. Renae’s left by herself, with her second mimosa in hand, she decides to chug it so she can get a little buzz to take the edge off. She wasn’t expecting to hear this wonderful news from Gia but something about it just hurts Renae’s heart.
When she swallows the last bit of the mixture of orange juice and champagne, she spots this handsome older looking man on the other side of the outdoor patio, seated and eating by himself.
The man looks disheveled, but in a hot way, and Renae feels her heart skip. His hair is curly, but messy, she wonders if the grays she observes are natural, or from a source of stress - maybe a mix of both. What really convinces her is the scraggly beard that also has grays throughout. His age lines prove her point more. The two scratch lines on the tip of his large nose catches her off guard just a bit, she’s not sure what to make of them. His bulky arms stretch out the fabric of his soft dark shirt, she can visibly see the sweat stains that are forming in his armpits while he cuts his food up and brings it to his mouth.
Renae can't stop staring. Her light green eyes won’t leave the man that sits on the other end of the restaurant, who’s simply eating. There’s just something about him that has her feeling foggy and dazed, maybe it’s the way his sharp jaw moves as he chews or the way his large hands grip his silverware and wrap around the handle of the coffee mug making them look like they’re meant for a mouse to use.
Who are you? she whispers to herself right before Gia and Bianca return from the bathroom. At the same time Ariana comes back with a tray that holds three different plates of food that is steaming hot.
—
Joel’s been to Jes’s Diner many times over the course of his life, so much that he doesn’t need to look at the menu. He gets the same thing every time; An omelet with all the fixings, a side of potatoes, two over-easy eggs, and a small side of bacon.
”No Sarah today?” Polly, the forty year old waitress asks, as she pours the black coffee into the mug that’s on the table. Polly and Joel were neighbors growing up, she was like one of the guys. So whenever Joel comes in, she gets his order.
“At school. It’s her last week as a fifth grader ‘n I don’t like it. Not ready for her to grow up ‘n leave.” He states as he grabs a packet of sugar and opens it, pouring it slowly, then picking up the silver spoon to stir the mixture. “It’s not easy, but you got this. I’m sure about it.” She chimes, trying to perk him up even just a little.
Thank you, he puts a weak smile on his face as he takes a sip of the steaming coffee, wake me up just a little bit, he thinks to himself. “I’ll be back with your food, dear.” He nods and thanks her again, taking another sip trying to jump start his head for the second time since Annie came home this morning.
While he waits for his food he does a quick overview of the patio; ten large round metal tables spaced out and about 8 of them are filled with small groups of families or women chatting amongst themselves. Then he spots her. This woman is stunning, even though his view is somewhat obstructed because of the other woman and young girl with their backs to Joel.
Her vibrant orange hair seems like it’s clipped back, but a few pieces hang in front and on the side of her face. Joel can tell she’s younger by the way she maintains herself, her eyebrows are thin but arched and her lips plump with a light red tint to them. Her skin is tan, like she was just at the beach or somewhere similar, strong thin tan lines from a bikini lace her skin. The way her eyes light up and her smile gleams in the conversation she’s having has Joel almost drooling into his coffee.
Her black tank top sticks to her skin perfectly, like it was made for her, causing her cleavage to spill out a little. He leans back in his chair a bit so he can catch a glimpse of her legs and he has to stop himself before he gets caught; light washed jeans that hug her waist, thick thighs, and calves perfectly.
Exactly his type.
Joel feels his cock grow in his pants as he continues to watch her. He shifts from in his seat and his belt buckle to try to relieve himself, then shifts his eyes back to his Home Screen on his phone that sits flat on his table, trying to think of anything other than this woman that has him feeling like a creep.
“Omelet, potatoes, eggs, and bacon for you, sir!” Polly comes back to the table and sets down his couple plates of hot food, his stomach grumbles again. Joel clears his throat and thanks her again and she’s off to work other tables.
Joel instantly dives into his omelet, eating like someone who hasn’t eaten in days - which he kind of understands, to an extent. Hopefully he won’t have to feel that way anymore, which brings him back to his fight with Annie and the divorce. He starts building a quick checklist of things that are his; The house, his truck and her car, has a full time job, all the bills are in his name - even her phone bill - and still has plenty of time for his daughter.
He shouldn’t have much of a hard time getting what he wants out of this situation, the only thing he could see is Annie trying to come after Sarah. Which Joel has a reasonable concern about because he knows first hand how bad her addictions are and that she has shown no interest whatsoever in trying to better herself. She’s simply not mentally competent to be a parent to Sarah, not even the slightest.
Joel has given her chance after chance to get help and she denies it each time. Says she’s gonna do better and actually try, but that never lasts more than two weeks, at most.
After two hours of breaking down everything and eating about ninety percent of his food, he’s finished everything but his couple strips of bacon that are left. He spots Polly walking his way so he stacks up the few plates and silverware he used and slides them to the edge of the table for her.
“Thank you, baby, you treat me so well,” she blushes, “but I wanna ask, everythin’ okay?” She points to her nose, suggesting what happened to Joel. He’s quick to dismiss it, Tommy’s kitten got me yesterday, he knows it comes off as a lie but he’s not ready to talk about his failed marriage with people. “Damn cats,” she fake laughs, catching onto his subtle warnings, “Well, here’s your check, just go up to Ben in the front and he’ll take care of you! Tell Sarah I say hi and I miss her dearly!”
“I will, dear, hope you have a good rest of ya’ day.” Joel nods his head and hands her two twenties before she picks up the dishes, you’re too kind, she smiles then starts her clean up process and she’s gone.
But before Joel stands up out of his chair he turns his head and looks for the gorgeous redhead from before, but he’s not prepared for how close she is to him. She’s a few feet away from him, her and the two others she was with are walking to the front door but they pass his table.
She’s even more beautiful in front of him; she looks to be around Joel’s height, five ten-ish, the heels make it difficult to tell. The sight of her under the table before was an absolute understatement of how she actually looks, her ass and thighs look like they could suffocate Joel - in the best way - and he can’t help but melt at the sight of her belly not being flat, she looks healthy. Proportional to her body type. Far too many women don’t have the love handles that Joel loves to grip or the plush skin he can bite into - his cock twitches again, making Joel incredibly aware of the situation.
Just wanna tear her ass apart, fuck her until she’s pleading for me to stop. Mhmm. Wonder if she likes it rough? Or if she’s a sweet little thing, who doesn’t have much experience… ‘n will let me show her a good time.
It’s quick, maybe three seconds but it feels like eternity the way they stare into one another. He’s infatuated with her and he hasn’t even spoken to her. Joel and her locked eyes, he memorizes the color; forest green with a hint of brown in the middle. He’s hit with the scent of vanilla, jasmine, and a faint smell of cigarettes, a smell that he would love to come home to everyday and take over the smell of his sawdust and sweat.
Instantly he can feel his cheeks warm and his lips curve into a dumb smile, and to his shock, she does the same thing - then she’s around the corner and gone, like an apparition.
Joel shakes his head twice, what am I doin’? He waits a minute or two for his dick to calm down, so he doesn’t make a fool outta himself, what is goin’ on? Joel can’t remember the last time he felt like this. It’s not like he doesn’t get the random moms of the neighborhood or in the PTA that flirt with him and try to be extra friendly. They’re nice and all, but he’s never been attracted to anyone other than Annie and if it wasn’t her, it wasn’t anyone.
After about five minutes of him yelling at himself in his head, he stands up and heads towards the front to pay, leaving him only eighty bucks left for the week, and heads back to his house.
Now back in his truck, only about ten minutes away from his shell of a home, he’s now back in his head about what to do. He figures the best thing tonight is to grab Sarah from school and head straight to Tommy’s. He wants to avoid as much trouble as possible because he hasn’t told Sarah anything about his decision, he just hopes he can do it before Annie manipulates the whole thing like she always does.
Pulling into the garage, he notices Annie’s Toyota gone, thank fuck. Joel for the second time today feels totally relaxed, parks his truck, takes the key out of the ignition and heads inside to shower and pack for him and Sarah. He wishes he didn’t have to do this, but he knows it’s the only way to stay separated from her because she won’t leave when asked to. That’s when the real problems begin.
As he walks into his house he’s instantly confronted with the smell of weed, it smells like it could be coating the walls. Joel never understood why she smoked in the house when they have a balcony from their bedroom and a back patio off of the kitchen. Joel doesn’t have a problem with weed, he smokes more than most people know, but he absolutely despises when Annie smokes in the house. It takes forever to get the smell out of the rooms and furniture, clothes even.
A part of him feels like she does it on purpose, because she knows that Joel is going to take care of it before Sarah gets home. So it’s almost like her form of punishment for whatever Joel did is response to her bullshit behavior.
“So much for a shower,” he grunts and begins opening all the windows and doors that have screens in them to avoid bugs getting in. He turns on any and all ceiling fans, lights some incense, and begins wiping down countertops in the kitchen - where he found his rolling tray and his weed, not hers of course.
About twenty minutes later, Joel’s alarm starts blaring on his cell phone in his back pocket, causing him to jump and drop the towel he was ringing out in the sink. He pulls it out and hits the stop button and checks the time. Two fifty five PM it says, informing him that he’s got thirty minutes to get to Sarah’s school. It usually takes at least twenty-five to get there from any of his job sites, so he gives himself plenty of time. But from the house the school is no longer than ten minutes away, which is nice, one of the main reasons why Joel picked the school - other than it’s the number one public school is his county.
Shit. He’s still gotta pick up around here and pack up her things, he really doesn’t want to come back later on. He needs to get outta here, preferably sooner than later. After double checking the house smells clean, closing all the windows and doors, he goes into Sarah’s room, which thankfully her door was shut and the only room that didn’t reek.
Joel can’t help but release a heavy breath and lean all his weight on the door, bringing his dry hands to his face and massaging his whole face in distress. He’s hit his breaking point; the lack of sleep, aggravation, disappointment, and sorrow that seep out of his skin and soul are escaping the strong man act he has to maintain.
He starts to weep into his hands as he holds himself up - he refuses to sink to the floor, he can’t bring himself to do it without feeling like a chump. Mainly because he’s breaking down in his ten year old daughter's bedroom. He’s had to keep a secret life for so long to other people, they just don’t know how bad it really is. He’s been through so much shit with Annie these past few years and he hasn’t asked for help, even though it’s been offered by Tommy and some of Annie’s friends who have come to Joel.
It used to mainly be that Joel was ashamed that he found himself and his daughter in this situation, and he didn’t want people to know his business. But now, he doesn’t care about that. He cares for Sarah and making sure she’s okay, that’s all that he needs to worry about right now.
He sighs, wiping away the tears he let slip through the cracks, and pushes himself off the door so he can grab his daughter's things. He grabs her empty soccer bag, sets it on her lavender purple bedding, and turns to her dresser and begins to grab clothes; shorts, shirts, leggings, socks, underwear, and her bathing suit. He slides over to her bathroom and grabs her toiletries that she has in a little bag in a drawer, bringing it over to the bag and zipping it up.
Joel figures they’ll stay at Tommy’s the rest of the week and all weekend. He just needs to leave the house, it’s suffocating for him to be here, too many memories - bad ones - for him to enjoy being here. Even though he’s by himself.
Takes him a shorter time to pack; his toiletries, work clothes, comfy clothes, and his bathing suit - it’s all he needs. With Sarah’s bag in one hand and his on his shoulder, he jogs down the stairs and moves to snag his keys so he can leave.
A sense of security takes over. Just knowing that he told Annie what he’s planning on doing and that Sarah is with him and not her, it’s relieving. He doesn’t have to worry about Sarah wanting to see Annie or asking questions about why, she already knows, most of it not all. He heads out to his truck and he’s on the way to grab Sarah.
With fifteen minutes to spare, he sits in the pickup line that’s full of a variety of trucks and cars waiting for their kid to come tiredly walking out. While waiting for her Joel decides to get a jump start and at least take a look online for some kind of divorce lawyer. If he’s gonna do it, he might as well start now. No backing out now.
Lawyers near me, he mumbles as he types into google, he has to scroll twice until a name sticks out to him. Without reading anything he clicks on R&R Law Firm, and he’s shocked when he sees a picture of two women and the one with red hair sticks out. It then clicks, that’s the woman from the diner.
Renae Russo.
—
Right after brunch, Renae took Gia and Bianca back to her apartment where they’ll be staying until Sunday afternoon. They’ve stayed at her place numerous times before so they know to make the place their own, and now with Frankie there Bianca has a little friend.
Renae has enough time to change out of her casual clothes and into her skin tight black dress, that covers her chest and goes to her knees, with matching black heels. She lets her curls fall from her hair clip as she teases the roots of her hair, creating volume and letting the curls loose; it’s a cute, messy but natural looking style that suits her perfectly.
“I’ll be back no later than six-thirty, love you guys!” She tells her sister and niece before she’s out the door and walking to her BMW. Shockingly, the weather calmed down a bit, it can’t be any hotter than seventy-eight or nine - way cooler than the ninety degrees it was earlier.
Traffic isn’t terrible, yet. She’s sure on her way home, it’ll be awful. It always seems like she gets caught in the worst traffic on the way home. She just can’t seem to find the right way back, she thought after ten years she would be a pro. But guess not.
Searchin’ kisses, the man she misses, the man that he longs to be.
Renae sings along to the one and only Amy Whinehouse, her favorite artist of all time. That’s her girl. It was her first concert at sixteen and Renae has been in love with her ever since then. She knows all Amy’s songs and has been to fifty percent of her concerts. Renae actually made it to her last show in twenty-eleven in Serbia, and we all know how that turned out. It was truly heartbreaking for Renae to witness and listen to, live.
So he tries to pacify her, cause what’s inside her never dies.
Suddenly her phone starts vibrating in her purse that’s sitting in her passenger seat, since she’s at a red light she reaches over and grabs it. Now more of a mumble than actually singing, she reads the name on her screen and she can’t help but smile. Her cheeks turn redder and redder, she can’t help herself from slightly biting her lip as she stares at the ten letter name.
Dominic Amaro</3
Renae’s favorite and most recent ex, the one that she just can’t let go of, but knows that she ultimately has to. After two years of dating, he had to move back to Italy to take care of his mother who became extremely ill and help with his two younger siblings, and although Renae understood completely, it doesn’t mean she wasn’t hurt by it. She saw herself marrying him, even having kids. She thought he was the one, but she was wrong.
But even after breaking up three years ago, they randomly call each other and will chat about anything and everything. Sometimes leading into phone sex… Or, quite often, if she’s honest. It’s one of the highest reasons why Renae hasn’t lost her mind completely. Dominic has the voice of an Italian man - that of a gentleman, not a mobster - his octave is low but his accent is smooth, almost like an Idris Elba, but Italian.
The traffic light switches to green as she hits the green accept button, raising the phone to her right ear as she manages to fly towards her job. Hi Dominic, she purrs with one hand on the wheel and the other on her phone, anticipating his smooth voice.
“Hi amore mio, how are you?” His voice is relaxed and Renae can tell he’s had a couple drinks, his accent is loose, not as strong as sober Dominic.
This kind of irritates her, but also not, because he can’t hold his liquor and that’s usually when a lot of their fights start, and Renae does not want to do that right now. If she was at home, she would absolutely rip into him and let him fight back - then fuck herself with her fingers while he talks her through it and strokes himself to the sound of her arousal and her deep moans.
Renae chuckles at his words as she pulls into the parking garage of her building, “Things are goin’ well, work has been busy and Gia came into town for this weekend. So I’ve been pretty happy.” She confesses, pulling into a parking spot and turning her car off, throwing her keys into her lap.
“Va meglio?” Are things getting better? Last Renae knew, Concetta had liver and kidney failure, but that was a couple months ago by now.
Before he says anything, she hears him heavily sigh and take a sip of whatever alcohol his choice is. That’s not a good sign, she mentally says while she quickly pulls her phone from her ear and looks at the time. Three twenty five. Fuck me, she mutters. Raising the phone to her ear again she hears him mumble something. What, baby? she asks him with sincerity.
She hates that she’ll have to shorten the conversation because from the context clues she’s picking up, this isn’t going to be good news. But Renae always puts her work first, which might be why she messes things up for herself - like marriage or kids. It’s just how she lives her life right now and she’s content in living with it, until otherwise she’s going to continue living this way.
To be less of an asshole than she already is, she lets Dominic vent about his mother and how she only has a little less than a year to live, and how his younger siblings are rays of sunshine but he feels terrible for them because they’re so young. Renae can’t help but feel her stomach tie into knots at the news while she walks through the parking garage and waits in the elevator. She met Concetta once when she came and visited Texas for a month, the sweetest little Italian woman ever - feisty too, Renae and her were two peas in a pod really. So even though she doesn’t have much to go on about her, Renae still feels awful for Dominic because no one, especially him, deserves to go through anything remotely similar.
“Amore,” she drags out, leaning her ass against the back wall of the elevator, “I’m sorry. I mean like, Damn- I wish you and your family didn’t have to go through this.”
“Prego, um- but the real reason I called is cause, uh“ Renae can tell he’s having a hard time getting his words across, she’s not sure if the language barrier or if he’s just struggling. Dominic’s English isn’t bad by any means, but Renae can tell after he moved back to Italy, he’s reverted back to speaking Italian all the time because of the way he speaks.
She’s now out of the elevator and on her office floor, waiting to walk into the long hallway that leads to her destination. Since she knows her office is occupied, she decides to finish her phone call. It's just something personal that she doesn’t want people to know about. Gia doesn’t even know that she’s still in contact with Dominic, not because Gia would be disappointed about it but just because Renae doesn’t want to have to explain any of this to anyone.
Another big reason she doesn’t want to bring it up is because she doesn’t even know how to break it down to herself. Renae has zero idea of what to make of the situation-ship with Dominic and she hasn’t needed a reason to. As far as she’s concerned, Dominic is just another man that she can’t let go of and she feels like he knows it.
She checks the clock on her phone one last time and she’s two minutes from being late, but there’s also no way she can just hang up on him, even if he understands that she has a client. Renae can’t help herself, she still loves him, or at least thinks she does.
“In a month I’m coming to Texas for a couple days-“
“You can stay with me!” she blurts out, and she’s not sure why she says it. Maybe it’s the desperation for some touch, a familiar one, or it’s the empathy in her that has made her feel for him. “Just send me your flight information and I’ll grab you and give you a place to stay. ‘Kay?”
A second of silence comes from the other end of the phone before he coo’s, “è così difficile non amarti…thank you.” It’s so hard not to love you.
This hits Renae directly in the heart, hard. She wishes she could jump through her phone and hug and kiss Dominic, but she can’t. This thirty-five year old man has her wishing she never lived in Texas and met Dominic in Italy, just living their happiest lives together.
“Well,” she bites her bottom lip again in a poor attempt to hide her smile, “you don’t make it easy yourself, Dominic.”
With both her shoulders occupied with bag straps, she leans her back against the wall outside two wooden doors, and stares at her pointy black heels. She hears a tiny chuckle leave his lips, she can visualize the slight pinkness that overgrows his face - much like herself.
Suddenly Rachel Yonkers - the other half of R&R Law Firm - walks out of the double doors. Causing Renae’s attention to come back full force and on her as she says, I’m headin’ out for lunch, see ya’ in a bit.
Slightly pulling the phone away from her mouth she responds, enjoy, as she smiles and waves her free hand. After the elevator doors close on Rachel, Renae’s attention is back on Dominic who correctly guesses she’s at work and then lets her go.
“Ciao, my love.”
“Ciao, Dominic.”
She hangs up and gently throws her head back until she rests on the wall with her eyes closed. What am I doing? This is gonna ruin me. He’s gonna ruin me forever. Somehow, she stops herself from falling down yet another spiral.
Throwing her phone into her purse, she takes a deep breath as she stands herself up, slightly shaking her whole body to get rid of the jitters that flow through her entire nervous system. Smoothing the sides of her black cotton dress, then swiping a strand of thick hair on her left side behind her ear, her fingers drag along the shape of her medium size hoops that hang from her ears, before walking through the double doors.
“Hi, Riley!” She chirps as she struts through the lobby of her office, head on to her assistant who’s behind her desk. Riley is fresh out of college, she has her criminal justice degree and is currently studying for her law degree - so she’s been with Renae for the past year and she told Riley this can be a permanent job for her.
“Afternoon, Ms. Russo. Jackie Cora is waiting for you!” She informs Renae as she staples a stack of papers together, setting them down on a pile.
Awesome, thank you, Renae smiles as she adjusts her black Micheal Kors purse that hangs on one shoulder and her laptop bag that hangs on the other. Her three thirty appointment is with Jackie Cora, who wants to file a PPO on her ex husband, Charlie Frey. He won’t stop harassing her with phone calls and emails about wanting to try again with her or come back to get some of his things, even though they aren’t there anymore.
Police can’t do anything other than tell him to leave while they’re present because there’s nothing legally they can do. But he hasn’t stopped since the divorce which was 5 months ago, and Renae was the one who did their divorce, so she knows how dirty and hasty Charlie is.
“Hi Jackie!” Renae chirps as she enters her office and walks to Jackie who’s sitting on the opposite side of her desk. Jackie stands up and shakes Renae’s hand, returning to welcome, then sitting down as she begins to divulge into the things that have been happening and what she wants done about it.
—
Staring at the printer, Renae’s right hand sprawls on the counter and her pointer finger taps impatiently, her nails causing a tink tink noise that echoes through her office. She glances away from the stack of papers that are slowly piling, to the clock above her and it’s been two hours since her and Jackie Cora have been together. She sighs as she goes back to the almost dead printer and she only needs one more page, which thankfully comes out with no issues.
“Here we go,” she announces as she grabs the stack of papers and turns around to bring them to Jackie. Who sits at the table surrounded by two large envelopes, her and Renae’s laptop, and Renae’s notes. “The last of your copy of things. This one is the letter that you’ll read in court on the thirtieth, so two weeks from today.”
Renae grabs the last envelope and seals the papers, then hands it over to Jackie who then collects her belongings putting them in her large tote bag. “Thank you so much Ms. Russo, god.” She stands up, her long brown hair thrown behind her shoulder as she steps to Renae and hugs her, which Renae returns warmly. “I’ll see you in two weeks. Please call me if anything escalates, please.”
After a few minutes of back and forth farewells, Renae is left alone in her office. She can finally relax, she did not realize how bad Jackie’s situation actually was. The amount of text messages and calls that she had printed out for evidence was staggering, Renae has never dealt with anything quite like this. But she has no doubt in her ability, that she’ll be able to help Jackie out - if anything it should be easy.
“Fuck, man,” she groans, throwing her curls up in a messy bun that sits on top of her head with loose strands all over - it’s more of a real messy bun than the cute, intentionally messy kind. She digs through her purse that sits underneath her desk - I need a cigarette after that fuckin’ debacle, aha - she feels the box with her finger tips and quickly snags them out.
Her mood swings instantly as she sees her Marlboro Reds in her hands. She’s not proud of it but her cigarettes are her anchors in life; always there when she needs them to. But she’s not a crazy smoker, a pack will last her four to five days a week sometimes. It’s something that works to take the edge of just a little while.
Which is exactly what she craves right now.
Phone in one hand, Marlboro Reds in the other, Renae struts to her door but just before she pulls her glass door open. Her phone on her desk rings. Motherfucker- she mumbles as she hangs her head down while shaking her head, every goddamn time.
It takes her a second before she commits to turning around and answering her phone as she plops down in her office chair. Renae Russo, she forces herself to sound light and cheery, because work comes before cigs.
“You have a call on line two, saying he wants to talk to you specifically,” Riley tells Renae, “I don’t recognize the voice at all.”
“Hmm, okay thank you, hon’.” Renae doesn’t waste any time. She’s quick to switch lines, putting the phone on speaker so she can move around freely without the problem of the cord. Pushing herself out of her chair, she stands up and leans over her desk just enough so her hands support upper body, rocking back and forth on her heels.
“Good evening, I’m Renae Russo and who do I have the pleasure of speaking to right now?” Even with her voice forced, she still genuinely wants to help whoever this person is - they just happened to catch Renae at a bad time. It’s a good five seconds of silence from her black phone that she now stares at from her position.
She knows some people have a hard time reaching out to divorce lawyers, which is why she gives them a chance. Uhh, he starts before he clears his throat, Renae can hear a faint mumbling that somewhat sounds like encouragement to continue.
“Hi Ms. Russo, um. I’m Joel Miller n’ I wanna- well, need to file divorce papers against my wife. Shit, ex-wife I guess now.”
Renae is trying her best to pay attention to what Joel just said because of the way his voice flows so effortlessly, but has much effect. Most southern accents sound the same to Renae at this point, she hears it all day long, she’s gotten so good that she can guess some towns or parts of the state based on their accents alone. However she’s stuck on his, there’s something about his that has her feeling gooey and mushy on the inside. Enough for her to have to sit back in her chair, leaning back just a bit as rests her elbows on the arms of the chair and she intertwines her fingers on her belly. Trying to contain herself and hide the butterflies that dare to escape.
“‘n I need to get full custody of my ten year old daughter.”
Her stomach drops and her nerves grow larger.
“Well, Mr. Miller,” she charms, leaning forward to grab a pen and a sticky note, “It’s a good thing you called me.”
#joel miller#joel miller fanfic#joel miller smut#joel miller series#joel x oc#joel and sarah#joel the last of us#joel tlou#daddy joel#tlou joel#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x ofc#joel miller x original character#joel miller x oc#fluff#joel miller fluff#eventual smut#ANGST
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Fall Into Me
dbf!Joel x f!reader
The first TLOU fic I ever read was a dbf!Joel story and it left an indelible mark on my soul. Unfortunately, I never bookmarked it so I have no idea which one it was. It's only natural that I had to try my hand at one at some point. So, here we are.
Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.
Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.
Word Count: 4.1k
Series Warnings: Mature to start, but will ultimately be Explicit, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. There will be angst, drama, fluff, humor, romance, smut... basically, the works. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname from her dad, which will be explained at some point.
Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Chapter One: The Day That I Met You
If you asked him over a decade ago where he’d be now, Joel Miller would not have placed himself as a single father to a tenacious pre-teen desperately trying to keep things afloat. He spent too many hours in the week working to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. He would be lost without the help of his brother and the few friends he had. He had no social life to speak of and could not for the life of him remember the last time he went on an actual date.
No, back then, Joel thought he’d be living the good life in ten years’ time – traveling, going out with the boys, maybe have a girlfriend or wife. Basically, just getting to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Don’t get him wrong, though. He was still living a good life; it just was a different sort of good than what he hoped for back in the day.
He loved his daughter with every fiber of his being. Sarah was the best damn thing that ever happened to him, his entire world, and he wouldn’t change the past ten years for anything. He bent over backwards doing whatever it took to make his little girl feel cared for, happy, and loved. He just wished there was a little energy left for something for himself at the end of the day.
Joel Miller was drained. Mentally, physically, and emotionally.
He awoke with a groan as the bright sunlight broke through the gap in his curtains. It was Saturday – his birthday – and he hoped to sleep in, at least a little. Between the brightness of the morning and the stifled sounds of clanging pans and voices carrying up the stairs from his kitchen, sleeping in was not happening.
He hauled himself out of bed with a groan worthy of a man twenty years his senior and stretched out his limbs to ease the achiness in his bare back and chest from too much manual labor. Throwing on a pair of well-worn sleep pants and a faded tee shirt, Joel slipped from his bedroom and down the stairs. He moved rather quietly for a man of his size, stealing a moment to lean against the entryway into the kitchen and watch as Sarah and Tommy worked together making breakfast.
The counters were a mess of spilled pancake mix, eggshells, and… was that coffee dripping over the edge and onto the floor? It was a toss-up on who made the bigger mess, his ten-year-old daughter, or his grown ass brother. Still, Joel could not stop the smile spreading across his face as he watched them laughing and teasing each other. That, right there, was the reason he worked so hard, why the loneliness was worth it.
When Tommy flipped the stovetop off, Sarah turned to find her dad smiling goofily at them. “Happy Birthday, Dad!” she exclaimed, launching herself at his chest. Her lanky arms wrapped around his neck as he lifted her off the ground in a big bear hug.
“Thanks, baby girl,” Joel replied, pressing his lips to her forehead in a quick kiss before he settled her feet on the ground.
“We made you breakfast!” Sarah declared, gesturing toward the disaster zone formerly known as his kitchen.
“I see that,” he chuckled, voice still slightly rough with sleep.
Tommy turned with a smirk, hands grasping two plates filled with bacon, eggs, and pancakes. “Take a seat, brother. Let us take care of you on your birthday.” Placing the food on the small dining table, Tommy roughly patted his brother’s shoulders. “Don’t worry ‘bout the mess, I’m on cleanup duty after we eat.”
“We expectin’ company? That’s a helluva lot of food,” Joel grumbled. He needed coffee, stat.
“Yeah, JB is comin’ over to see ya before heading to the airport. His daughter finished grad school over the summer and is moving back home.” Tommy set more food and a full mug of dark roast coffee in front of his brother. The scent alone made Joel perk up a little.
The Millers hadn’t met you yet, having only become friends with your dad through work after you’d already left for college on the east coast. Your dad had a good decade on Joel, but he and the Miller brothers got on like a forest fire from what he told you. With visits home always short and rushed, busy catching up with family and your own friends, there was never time for your dad to introduce you all. Now you were coming home for good and would have plentiful opportunities for spending time with your dad and his friends.
“Speak of the devil,” Tommy muttered as the doorbell rang. Sarah bounded to the door to greet your dad with a hug. In many ways, the girl reminded him of you when you were young, and it always brought a smile to his face.
“There he is! The man of the hour. Happy Birthday, buddy!” Your dad, John, or JB as the Millers called him, ruffled Joel’s already mussed hair, leaving a few locks standing straight up in further disarray. Pulling a 12-pack of beer from behind his back, your dad set it on the table in front of Joel, topped with a little red bow. “I gotcha a lil’ something to celebrate.”
“Good man,” Joel replied with a chuckle. “Have a seat and help me eat all this. Tommy just told me your lil’ girl is coming home, finally.”
Your dad’s face lit up even more at the mention of you coming home. “She’s not so little anymore, but I sure am glad she’s moving back here. Said she had enough of the east coast, but I think she just missed her ol’ man.” After wolfing down some food, he added, “Think we could host a small barbecue here this coming weekend to celebrate? Your backyard is way nicer than mine and you got the pool and all.”
“Not to mention that fancy ass grill,” Tommy chimed in.
Swallowing a long sip of his morning go juice, Joel nodded. “Of course. Invite whoever you want. I’m looking forward to finally meeting your daughter.”
“Me too!” Sarah added. She heard a lot about you from your dad and hoped you were as cool in person as he made you out to be.
Joel’s mind started spinning upon hearing his daughter’s excitement. With her school hours being so different from his typical work hours, he was spending a small fortune on after school care for Sarah. She was still too young for him to leave home alone, especially on those days where he’s stuck late at a job. He was barely scraping by as it was and couldn’t really afford the cost of after school programs. Perhaps…
“JB, ya think your daughter would mind watching Sarah during the week while she’s home. Drop off and pick up from school and keeping her company ‘til I get home from work? I could pay her – it wouldn’t be much, but better than nothin’, I imagine.” He watched Sarah’s eyes light up at the suggestion and knew it was a good choice.
“I’m sure she’d love to. She wasn’t planning on finding a real job until after the holidays, so I know she’ll be free during the day,” your dad replied. “I’ll talk to her about it on the ride back from the airport and let you know.”
Three suitcases and a carry-on bag. That’s all you had left from six and a half years of pursuing higher education in North Carolina. You sold or gave away anything that did not fit into your luggage or hold sentimental value of your time away. Now, you were moving back home to save some money before you had to start chipping away at the mountain of student loan debt you accrued.
You loved learning, always have, but you were relieved to be done with school. Equipped with a bachelor’s degree in earth sciences and a master’s in education, you felt like a real adult ready to take the world of middle school by storm… well, starting after the new year, maybe. For now, you needed several months of limited to no responsibility to recoup your mental and physical energy. That last couple years of school really burned you out. Not to mention the last-minute rejection of a teaching position you thought was in the bag…
Anyway, you were better off leaving North Carolina behind and returning to Austin. You missed your dad something fierce and his particular brand of caring for you was exactly what your weary soul needed. It was you and him against the world, just like when you were a kid.
You flight was smooth and uneventful, yet you were relieved to deboard the plane. Something about being stuck in a tin can at the mercy of someone else’s ability to keep the thing from plummeting to the ground really aggravated your anxiety. Flying was something you would never enjoy; it was merely a means to an end when you wanted to travel long distances.
The journey to baggage claim was a slog with the crowd of passengers all heading to the same place. You were wondering how you’d wrangle three large suitcases by yourself when you caught sight of your dad. His broad smile took over his face when he spotted you, rushing over to sweep you up in a big bear hug.
“Hey Spud, how was the flight?” he asked as you waited for the baggage carousel to begin moving. “Looks like it was a full plane.”
“It was, but the flight was good. I’m really glad to be home.”
“Me, too, kid.”
You settled into a comfortable silence, watching various pieces of luggage pass by on the carousel. Your bags were scattered, and you had to wait several cycles to get all of them. Your dad lugged the final suitcase over the carousel with a grunt. “Jesus, what you got in this one? Bricks? A body?”
“That one has my gaming system and half a closet full of clothes,” you replied with a laugh.
Before long, everything was loaded into your dad’s truck, and you were heading back towards town. The radio hummed at a low volume as you both chatted about everything and nothing all at once.
“Hey, so I know you said you weren’t looking for full-time work until after the new year, but I have a proposition for you.” Your dad’s eyes stayed focused on the road, and you merely quirked a brow waiting for him to continue. “My buddy Joel – you know the one I told you about? Well, his daughter is ten and he needs some help with the school run and after school care. Our work hours aren’t exactly the same as elementary school, you know?”
You nodded, remembering all the times your dad spoke to you about Joel, as well as his daughter and brother. Despite never meeting them, you felt like you already knew their whole life story. “So, he’s looking for a nanny or something? I could do that. It would keep me from getting lazy while I navigate getting my Texas teaching certificate.”
Your dad grinned, one hand patting your leg. “I was hoping you’d say that. Joel will pay you, of course, but just… don’t expect much. It ain’t easy for him being a single dad trying to keep everything afloat.”
Again, you nodded, a soft smile creasing your lips. You knew all too well how challenging it could be for single parents, having grown up with just you and your dad. Much like what your dad told you about Joel’s experience with the mother of his child, your mom split when you were barely a toddler. Things weren’t always sunshine and roses, but your dad sure did his best to make sure you had a great life. Honestly, you wouldn’t trade it for the world, that life with your dad. You had a feeling it was much the same for Joel and his daughter.
“I’m happy to help, even if he doesn’t pay me. I’m sure his daughter will enjoy having a female influence in her life if nothing else. What’s her name again? Sarah?”
Your dad’s eyes twinkled with pride. “Yup, that’s it. I’m proud of the woman you’ve become, Spud.”
A mist of tears prickled your eyes as you mumbled out a “Thanks, dad.” After a beat, you added, “Must you keep up with that nickname?”
“Of course. You’ll always be my little Spud,” he laughed as you rolled your eyes. “Oh, by the way, we’re going to the Millers on Saturday for your welcome home party.”
“What’s all this?” Joel questioned as Tommy and Sarah placed a heavy, wrapped package on the table before him along with a few smaller presents. The remains of a birthday cake sat nearby, having been delightfully devoured by the Millers while celebrating Joel’s birthday.
“Just a little somethin’ from me and Sarah,” Tommy replied, a boyish grin alighting his handsome features.
Joel gazed between them with curiosity. Not big on celebrating his own aging, he rarely got big gifts. “You wanna help me open this, nugget?” Sarah’s eyes lit up, small hands reaching to tear the wrapping paper into shreds. It only took a few moments for the contents to be revealed, leaving Joel confused at the modern contraption sitting in front of him. “What am I supposed to do with this?”
“You play video games on it, dumbass.” Tommy harumphed as he began a diatribe on the features of the gaming system – he had one just like it at his place and it provided hours of entertainment when he didn’t feel like going out. “I figured it would be a good hobby for you since you never want to join me in going out.”
“Huh,” Joel grunted in return, brows furrowed as he read the instructions on how to setup up the machine. His attention was diverted by Sarah shoving the smaller parcels into his lap.
“Here, dad! These go with it.” Together, they tore into the wrapping paper to find several video games, a few of which were family friendly. The final gift was a spare controller for the gaming system so he and Sarah could play together.
Despite still being unsure that the gift was a good fit for him, Joel was grateful to Tommy for the effort. “This is too much, man. You shouldn’t spend this kind of money on me, Tommy.”
His brother waved him off. “I found a great deal and you never get anything for yourself, brother. You deserve something to indulge in. Believe me, you’ll have fun with this.”
The rest of the evening was spent with Tommy setting up the system and showing the father-daughter duo how to play some of the games he picked out. The living room filled with lots of laughter and teasing, and Joel found himself really getting into the fun of the video games.
After tucking Sarah into bed, Tommy showed Joel a game that was too violent for the little girl but entertaining for the men. The game was set in Washington DC which had been ravaged by a brutal pandemic and the main character was part of a group of agents fighting off nefarious gangs trying to take over the city. Joel caught onto the gameplay quickly and the two men found themselves building the loadout for Joel’s character, taking out bad guys, and chatting well into the night.
At two in the morning, the pair looked at each other with bleary, red-rimmed eyes and finally called it a night. Joel directed Tommy to crash in the spare room as he shuffled off to bed upstairs.
It didn’t take you long to get settled into your dad’s house. It wasn’t the home you grew up in and you only visited a few times after he bought it. After years living away on your own, you thought it would be an adjustment being under his roof again, but it wasn’t. He understood the need for personal space and never hovered unless you were hurt or sick. He gave you the downstairs bedroom – it was the largest in the house, with an ensuite bath and huge walk-in closet.
“Dad, no! Why in the world is this not your room?” you questioned when he placed your bags on the brand-new, king size bed he had delivered the week prior.
“Hell no, Spud. What do I need all this space for? I like the upstairs rooms better – the light is all wrong in this one anyway.”
You looked around, holding in a giggle. The room faced south, giving you just the right amount of natural light all day. That’s what your dad didn’t like. He preferred to live like a bat in a cave with blackout curtains and limited lighting.
“Alright, well, I love it. The natural light is perfect for me. I can actually put some plants on the windowsills. Thank you!” You kissed his cheek as he left you to get settled.
You spent the week rearranging the bedroom how you wanted it, setting up your gaming system, and putting all your clothes into the walk-in closet. Your dad hadn’t done much with the room other than furnish it, so you made a few trips to the store to get a bathroom set, floor lamps, and wall décor to make the room your own.
Before you knew it, Saturday morning dawned bright and warm. The day of your welcome home gathering arrived, and you would finally get to meet the Millers. An excited energy had you moving about your space in a flurry, tidying up and getting ready early. You’d seen some photos of the Millers that your dad sent you – Sarah was adorable with her dark, springy curls, and Joel… Joel was handsome, in a broody, overworked kind of way, with dark, riotous curls and big, warm chocolate eyes. Kind eyes, you called them.
“Hey Spud, you ready?” your dad called from the kitchen as you put the finishing touches on your hair. It was pinned up, leaving the smooth skin of your neck bare. The sundress you picked hugged your curves in just the right way, falling just at your knees in a flow of lightweight material. In early October, Austin was still hot, and you hoped the Millers’ yard was shaded.
“Bring a swimsuit! They have a pool!” he yelled as you grabbed the last of your things. Turning back to your closet, you grabbed a dark green one-piece suitable for family-friendly swimming and tucked it into your bag.
“I’m ready!”
Your dad smiled at the sight of you. “Let’s go then. We’re heading over early so you can officially meet the Millers and we’ll help them setup before everyone else arrives.”
“Sounds good. Who all’s coming anyway?” Your eyes widened as your dad rattled off a list of people he invited, including his work buddies and some of his and Joel’s neighbors. He would have invited some of your old friends from high school, but you all lost touch over the years. The party was turning out bigger than you thought. Your heart swelled with how happy your dad was to have you home for good.
The Millers lived in the same neighborhood, only a few blocks away, so close you could have walked if not for the scorching sun. The drive took only a few minutes before your dad pulled into the driveway of a two-story home similar to your dad’s, with simple landscaping and two wooden rocking chairs on the wide porch. Lovely and quaint, the house made you more curious about the people who lived there.
“Dayum! Get a load a JB’s daughter, Joel,” Tommy called from the living room, leaning over the couch to look out the front window. “She’s smokin’ hot!”
“Dammit, Tommy. Stop spying on ‘em,” Joel growled, sneaking a peek over his brother’s shoulder to do a little hypocritical spying of his own. Breath caught in his throat at the sight of you and he couldn’t break his gaze away, even as JB led you toward the front door.
“What was that about spyin’, brother?” Tommy teased, practically dragging Joel away from the window as a knock sounded against the door. “Don’t worry, I’ll get it.”
Tommy opened the heavy wooden door revealing the pair of you standing there, matching bright eyes and wide grins greeting him. “Well, hello there, beautiful. I’m Tommy.” Reaching a hand toward you, Tommy completely ignored JB, who just scowled at him.
“Nice to meet you, Tommy,” you replied, offering him your hand and name in return. Joel’s scowl matched your dad’s expression as Tommy held your hand for several beats too long.
“Back off, Tommy,” your dad grunted, swatting at the younger Miller brother. “This here is Tommy’s brother, Joel. The one who actually owns this house and the better Miller, if you ask me.”
“Ain’t no one askin’ you, old man,” Tommy’s smart mouth shot back at your dad.
Joel ignored both men, eyes like dark pools as he gazed at you, awed at how small and delicate your hand felt in his. “Howdy, darlin’,” his voice rumbled from his chest. “Come on in. There’s someone else lookin’ forward to meeting you.”
Leading the way through the kitchen into the backyard, Joel felt the heat of your gaze burning his back. Were you checking him out? There was no way. You were beautiful and likely in your early twenties. He felt ancient, though he was only in his early thirties, the hard labor of construction work having taken its toll on him.
“Hi Dad!” a young, sweet voice called from a small swing set where a precious little girl entertained herself. “Who’s this?”
Joel introduced you to his daughter, leaving the two of you to get acquainted as your dad called him away.
“You were away at college?” Sarah questioned, motioning for you to take a seat on the swing next to hers.
“I was,” you replied. “But I’m back for good now.”
“That’s good. What grade did you get to? I’m in fourth grade.”
You thought about it a moment. “I guess it would be 18th grade. But you stop counting grade numbers after 12th and start using different words to describe what year you’re in during college.”
Sarah listened raptly while you explained the different terms, what you studied in school, and what kind of job you were hoping to get.
“You want to be a teacher?” she asked, awed.
“I do! I want to teach middle grade science.”
“I love science! Maybe you could be my teacher when I get to sixth grade!”
Joel returned with your dad and Tommy in tow to find you and Sarah having a blast. The little girl sat in your lap as you kicked your feet out, swinging as high as you could, singing some camp song you remembered from your youth.
“See? Told ya she’d love to spend time with Sarah,” your dad said to Joel. He couldn’t tear his gaze away, staring at the two of you with a glazed look in his dark eyes.
Shaking himself off, Joel turned to your dad. “Guess I better work out some details with her.” He stepped over to the swing set, taking a seat on the empty swing and hoping to the heavens above that it held his weight. He struggled internally on how to start the conversation and was just about to blurt something out when his amazing daughter saved the day.
“Dad! She wants to be a teacher! A science teacher! Isn’t that cool? Did you ask her about watching me yet? I think she’d love to.” Sarah rambled on excitedly, amusing you and Joel. Turning to you before Joel could chime in, Sarah turned to you with baby cow eyes, adding, “You would love to, right?”
How could you ever resist that look? No one could. Both you and Joel were powerless as you nodded, and the offer became official. Cell numbers were exchanged and before you knew it, you had a job starting Monday.
Hours later, slightly drunk on spiked fruit punch and buzzing with energy, you thanked Joel for hosting the barbecue and giving you a job. You kissed his stubbled cheek, forcing thoughts of how attractive he was as far down as they could go. You could not develop a crush on your boss. “I’ll see you Monday morning, bright and early!” you declared before following your dad through the front door.
TBC
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel x female reader#the last of us#tlou#dbf!joel#Fall Into Me#pedro pascal#eventual smut#eventual romance
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Forever Chapter 2
Changed forever.
Chapter Summary I Life after moving isn't all it’s cracked up to be. Baby time happens much faster than expected, but your family rally round you in your moments of need.
Chapter warnings/content I Tw- depictions of childbirth- premature baby 3weeks early. So much fluff. Making our beautiful Joel Miller a daddy again. Caring!Joel. Bill and Frank are the most amazing supporters.
Word count I 7.6K
Next I Series masterlist I Main masterlist
In the days following your move Joel’s been busy constantly rearranging furniture to make each room to your liking. Not allowing you to do the most menial of tasks, which with you nesting and constantly looking for jobs to do around the house doesn’t help. He has to give in eventually, knowing you’re itching to keep your mind busy allowing you to get yourself ready for the impending arrival. You mostly stick to organising baby clothes into colours to wash, putting them away in specific orders and spaces which are labelled once dry, and cleaning, it keeps you happy and busy for long enough to not have Joel worrying about you hurting yourself whilst he deals with the big heavy tasks. And this is how it stays as you count down the days till babies arrival -or at least that’s how it’s supposed to be.
🍓🍓🍓🍓
When he’s occupied one morning you get to work on one of the jobs round the house you know he’d go mad at you for doing.
“Please explain to me what in the hell you’re doin?” He’s stood in the doorway staring at you, hands on his hips as you’re practically lying on the floor scrubbing away at the skirting board.
You look over your shoulder at him still scrubbing there’s no way to hide what you’ve been doing, “there’s just so much dust! I don’t want our child breathing it in!”
“Woman, get off your knees now” he moves towards you to lend you a hand getting up. You take it gladly, because as much as you don’t want to admit it, your back is hurting, and you think you’ve got a headache coming. “I can do that; you need to be relaxing there’s so many other jobs you could be doin’ that don’t take half as much strength as that.”
You laugh as he walks you to a dining table chair and forces you to sit.
“You’re gonna give me a heart attack if you’re not careful.” He strokes your cheek.
“Sorry” you’re still giggling.
He shakes his head before moving over to where you were. He groans as he gets to his knees and drops his hand into the bucket of water to grab the sponge. He looks over his shoulder at you “s’it just this one you want doin?”
You nod “yes please.”
“See baby all you gotta do is ask.”
“Yeah, but you’re busy.” You feel bad constantly getting him to do things for you even though you know he won’t mind.
“M’never too busy for you baby” he turns back, reaches for the skirting, and begins scrubbing away. His top lifts slightly as he leans and gets to work. Revealing the bottom of his lean back.
“Mmm, you look good like that Miller.”
“You checking me out?” He grumbles still scrubbing.
“Maybe” you giggle. “I mean you’re hot regardless, but watching you do housework increases that tenfold” you both begin chuckling at that. After a moment you rise, walking over to him “I’m gonna go get some water, do you want a coffee?”
He looks to you “now that’s why I love you, yes please” and the smile he gives you is so genuinely so full of love. He really is the most amazing man.
As he turns back to the task at hand you hear him mumble under his breath as you leave the room “gonna be the death of me” you can’t help but begin laughing again. You know you make him mad, but you can’t help it. You love him.
You return a few minutes later drinks in tow “your drink sir.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” he smiles as he takes the mug of black coffee from you and sipping. “Why are you drinkin’ water anyway, you hate it?” He quizzes as he pulls the mug away from his lips.
“Just got a bit of a headache starting” you shrug.
Concern laces his face; this is why you don’t like telling him when you don’t feel one hundred percent because he automatically worries “you okay?”
“I’ll be fine” you smile but he doesn’t seem convinced.
As the headache progressively gets worse you opt to take some of Frank’s homemade herbal pain relief in the hopes that’s all your body needs to finally get rid of it. You’re forever grateful for Frank’s wonderful medical mind and his need to learn, because he’s spent years investigating and learning about herbal remedies for all kinds of ailments.
When the headache doesn’t shift you decide an early night is what you need. It’s only about seven, but you make your way up to bed. Not having any dinner because you aren’t up to eating. You hope with sleep the pain will go and you’ll wake up refreshed.
After having been asleep for an hour or so Joel comes to check on you. Sitting down on the edge of the bed close to you as he begins stroking your cheek. He doesn’t miss how hot your skin feels.
His touch is enough to wake you and when he looks at how pale you look, he’s worried.
“How you feelin’?”
You groan as you open your eyes “my head hurts bad, and I feel a bit sick.”
“You want somethin’ to eat? You haven’t had any dinner that won’t help baby.”
“Maybe I don’t know.” You groan as you move to sit up in the bed “just don’t feel good.”
“I’ll go make you somethin’ just somethin’ small, but so you got some food in ya okay, anythin’ you want?”
“Yeah okay. Erm…” you begin giggling.
“What baby?” He smiles at you.
“Please don’t think I’m gross” you chuckle again “but can I have Strawberries and ketchup? Please beg Bill for some of his strawberries.”
“Can you what?” the disgusted look on his face has you cracking up.
“I’m serious, that’s what baby wants.” You shrug.
“Strawberries and”- he scoffs shaking his head “you’re crazy.”
“Nu uh, your daughter is the crazy one, she’s telling me she wants it!”
“Okay baby. Whatever my girls need” he kisses you before moving away.
He returns a small while later with some of Bill’s precious strawberries chopped up and some ketchup.
You can’t help but groan as you eat it “Jesus Joel this is good."
He chuckles watching in awe “whatever you say.”
“You should try it…” you smile wholeheartedly at him, you want him to have in on the fun.
“Baby you’re lovin' it n I’d never take food from you. Just eat.”
“Well, more fool you” you chuckle as you take another mouthful. You manage to eat it and keep it down, but it doesn’t make you feel any better. So, you think sleeping really is the only thing that will help. Joel decides to stay in bed with you, holding you close to him and that helps a lot. Just knowing he’s near is enough to calm you. He always knows exactly what to do to help.
You wake a few hours later still safe in Joel’s arms, but you don’t feel better yet. Carefully and quietly, you move out of his hold and make your way to the bathroom to splash your face with some water. Your headache is mostly gone, but the sick anxious feeling remains.
When you starts feeling super-hot again you make your way downstairs to go and sit out on the porch for a while. There’s a slight breeze out and that’s exactly what you need right now. The wind chime sings into the night quietly as you sit in the peace of the incredibly early morning; you can’t help but feel overwhelmed. And that’s when it hits you what’s wrong. You’re not ill, you’re stressed, almost overwhelmed by how calm life suddenly is. It’s like you’re actively seeking for something to be wrong because your life has never ran so smoothly. You’re just waiting for a really bad moment to happen. You can’t help the tears that begin to fall. You curl in on yourself on the bench as you will yourself to get all your emotions out.
When Joel wakes not long later and finds the bed empty, he’s immediately concerned. He searches the whole house for you eventually meeting you outside. You’re almost hysterical as he moves to sit next to you grabbing you close. He shushes you as he strokes your hair gently. “Baby what’s wrong?” He questions softly as you begin to calm down.
“Are we crazy” you laugh wetly looking to him the sadness evident in your eyes.
“Crazy” he laughs “for what?”
“For having a baby, for choosing to bring life into this world.
“No. Why would you think that darlin’?
“Well what sort of life will she have?”
He grabs your hands “we don’t know till it happens baby, but we are never gonna strive to give her any less than the world, are we?”
“Nu uh.”
“No, we won’t. She’s going to have the best life possible, so stop worrying that pretty head o’yours. Everything is gonna work out I promise baby. I know you’re worried even if you’re trying to hide it, and that’s okay havin’ a baby is a big change and it’s stressful, but we’re ready. Remember we’ve only been here three days, we’ve had three days of total calm after having to watch our backs all hours of the day for months, it’s a big change baby. It’s normal how you’re feeling.”
You are ready to have this baby. You’ve known that from before you even made it to Bill and Frank’s, but it’s scary. Knowing you’re responsible for bringing new life into the world. That’s all that weight is on your shoulders, that your body is the one that has to go through it. Thankfully, Joel is the best possible support you could ask for.
“I hope you’re right.”
“Baby I am you know I am. You’re just tired and stressed out, you need to sleep. You’ve obviously been overdoing it to keep your mind busy and you’ve been neglecting your feelings, you’re gonna make yourself sick if you keep doing that. So that stops now, okay? You need to take it easy.”
You know he’s right “okay, I will I promise.”
“Good” he cuddles you close kissing your temple “you ready to go back to bed?”
You nod.
When you wake the next morning cuddled up to Joel feeling one hundred percent again you think you must’ve seriously overdone it, mix that with how stressed you’ve been you genuinely were making yourself ill. So, you heed Joel’s advice to take it easier from this point forward.
🍓🍓🍓🍓
It’s only when you’re six nights into sleeping in your new home that there seems to be a bit of a life blip.
-
You wake with a gasp clasping at your lower stomach, breathing heavily. The painful wave slowly washes over your body, it’s baby time you can tell instantly. You’d been waking through the night with what you were thinking were back spasms but now you’re sure, they were contractions. Your heart pounds at the thought of it being too early, even if it is only a few weeks, it could be a whole lot worse, but even so, it’s early.
You’ve been nothing but surprised this whole pregnancy hasn’t been worse considering what you’ve been through and the world you live in now. Yet it’s like now that you have proper relaxation, a happy safe home, helpful people surrounding you, your baby is ready, your body is ready, you’re ready. It’s baby time…
Surrounded by the darkness of the room you reach to turn the bedside lamp on. Looking to Joel; he’s sleeping soundly next to you, unusually he hasn’t woken up in feeling you suddenly no longer in his grasp. It’s taken him a really long time to be this comfortable in his slumber. Fitful sleeps lessening more and more as time goes on, so you hate so much that you’re now going to have to wake him.
You eventually bring your legs over the side of the bed, your back to Joel as you take in a few deep breaths before trying to gain his attention.
“Babe”
…
You clasp your stomach again “Baby.”
…
With no response, mid catching your breath, you grab a pillow and throw it back at him. Catching him in the face.
“Joel!”
“Hmmm” he finally responds, instinctively reaching out an arm for you with his eyes still closed, realising the space next to him is empty, he opens his eyes. Catching his bearings on where he is, he sees you perched on the side of the bed. He shoots up scooting over to you. Wrapping his arms around your body, resting his chin on your shoulder. “What is it baby, what’s wrong?”
“I think it’s time. Fuck it’s too early” you let out a puff of air.
He jumps away from your body stunned. “Shit what... really, are you sure? Fuck we need t’wake Bill and Frank, we gotta get everything prepped!”
You can’t help but let out a small chuckle before turning to look at him whilst bringing a hand up to stroke his face, “I think so.” You sigh “the pain comes in waves and it’s bad, but fuck she’s coming too early, I mean I’ve got like what three weeks to go, that can’t be a good sign.”
“Baby, how many books have we read on this stuff, I know this is scary, but thirty-seven weeks onwards is classed as full term. You’re over thirty-seven weeks, plus most babies don’t come on their due dates! They’re either early or late, try not to worry too much about that.”
“I know but it’s still early babe,” your voice breaks “she could be inside growing for another three weeks at least. I’m scared… I just want her to be okay. I want to keep her safe.”
That’s your mantra ‘keep her safe’ and it’s fucking scary.
“Don’t be scared gorgeous girl, we are all gonna help you through this, okay? She’s gonna be fine and so are you we will get through all of this together baby, okay?”
“Okay yeah.”
“Now let me go get Bill and Frank” he kisses your shoulder before moving to jump out of bed.
“No baby I don’t- sigh- I don’t think it’s fair waking them yet, or Ellie. There’s no point doing it any earlier than we need to. If we wake them now, I guarantee we are all gonna be up for hours and it’s not gonna be fun for anyone… we’ll all end up tired and cranky. We know what to do to prepare and to help my body to get ready, we know how to help me get through the contractions, so let’s leave them for now.”
“Okay” he whispers. “So, what d’you wana do baby?”
You sigh “I don’t know I guess just see how we go. Wait it out.”
“Fuck… I can’t believe this is happenin’” he laughs stroking a palm over his face, still puffy with sleep.
“Me neither” you giggle. “Ugh, I need to stand my backs killing” you move groaning as you stand from the bed turning to face him. You grip the underneath of your bump as you sway your hips slightly from side to side, Joel looks to you flustered and sleepy. Eventually throwing his head back onto his pillow on what can only be perceived as a stressed huff. You can’t help but laugh at him “awh you’re so handsome” you smile crawling back on the bed leaning over his body to kiss him, “I’m sorry I had to wake you” you mumble against him.
A look of disgust appears as he parts his lips from yours and looks into your eyes, “did you really just apologise when you’re having our baby?”
“I guess I did” you laugh “force of habit, I don’t like it when you don’t sleep properly.”
“I know baby and I appreciate that” he reaches up to stroke your cheek, “but there’s more important things going on right now than making sure to get my eight hours” he laughs again.
“Yeah, I guess” you huff, gazing around the room briefly “it’s so quiet here, you know I forget sometimes what’s going on beyond those gates. I forget how”- you’re cut off as a pain overcomes you. “Fuck” you whisper softly sitting back on your heels rolling your hips. Joel sits up with you, reaching round to rub at your back as his other hand envelops yours allowing you to squeeze. “Just breathe baby, y’got this.”
“Mmm, it hurts” you moan.
“You’re doin’ good baby” he presses at your back as you breathe through it. Letting out a big sigh of relief when the pain is finally gone.
“Do you think a bath would help you Darlin’? I can go run y’one if you want.”
“Ooo, that might be quite nice actually. Will you stay with me when I’m in there though?”
“Course wasn’t plannin’ t’leave you anyways” he climbs out of bed with a groan not bothering to get dressed in any way, leaving you on the comfort of the bed. He turns on the water and adds some rose smelling bubble bath Frank had found especially for you. After checking the temperature of the water, the way, he used to do all those years ago for Sarah, he returns to you, grabbing your hands and helps you to stand gently. He looks into your eyes a second as you try to maintain your balance smiling before rubbing your stomach. Standing behind you, one hand on your hip, he helps you walk to the bathroom.
“You, okay?” he questions tying your hair out of the way, you lean against the sink whilst he does.
“Yeah, I’m okay” you smile looking to him through the mirror before focusing on your bump “hoping the bath will help me relax.”
“I’m sure it will baby, will work wonders, ‘specially for your back.”
“Yeah, I hope so.” You begin moaning as another contraction takes over, swaying your hips in an effort to help you through the pain as you take deep breaths. Joel now finished tying you hair presses at your back “just breathe baby, breathe.”
Once the contraction is over you stand tall and turn to look at your husband. You smile and cup either side of his face. “Honestly Joel, I’d be so lost without you” you press a kiss to his lips before pulling away yawning, “ugh it’s like half two in the morning, great time to choose to be born bubba” you poke at your bump.
“She’s keeping us on our toes.” He rests a palm onto your solid bump.
“Yeah… well I mean she could choose to keep us on our toes at a reasonable time, you know after a full night’s sleep” you jest.
Joel chuckles as he holds your arms tightly helping you to lower into the bath. You let out a soft moan as your stomach hits the water. Feeling instant relief from the warmth. When you’re settled down, Joel gently grips your chin and brings your face to look at him as he presses a long kiss to your lips, but when you don’t respond how he expects he pulls away in order to search your eyes for what’s wrong, but you’re keeping them firmly shut “what is it baby?”
You let out a wet shuddering sigh “fuck, I’m just scared her coming early means somethings wrong.”
He brings a hand to cup the side of your face and you lean into it wantonly as he kneels beside the bath “baby look at me please” he smiles at you as you finally open your eyes “does it feel like somethin’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, I don’t think so, -sigh- it’s weird actually because it feels right almost, like she feels safe and wants to come.”
“See, then if it’s her time, it’s her time. She’s ready to let us meet her baby and we’re more than ready t’meet her ain’t we?”
“Yeah, we are” you whisper.
“Been waitin’ a long time f’her to make an appearance” he gently strokes your stomach in the water. “So, there’s no being scared, we’re ready for this.”
His words are so relaxing to you as you lean back allowing the warm water to cover you up to your neck. You take deep breaths as you allow your mind to wonder, imagining your little family. After an hour of relaxing between contractions, when your body begins pruning you decide to get out. Joel helps taking your hands in his as you lift one leg out and to the floor before you move to take the other out, gasping when it’s halfway out. You gaze at the floor as you stand Joel looking with you, the clear fluid with hints of red that has just left you has you both startled. “Fuck my waters” the realisation makes your heart race.
“S’okay baby, it’s good means we’re gettin’ there, just breathe, let’s get you comfortable and then I’ll clean this up, okay?”
🍓🍓🍓🍓
After dressing you in a baggy shirt and leggings he leaves you on the comfort of the bed. He quickly changes into some clothes himself before stopping off at Ellie’s room knocking on the door gently before opening it and walking in. Ellie is quick to respond sitting up, grabbing her knife, flicking it open and turning on her light.
“Jeez gonna go on a stabbin’ party?”
“Shut up” she groans sleepily, eyes squinting from the brightness of her bedside light. “You know you can’t sneak up on me like that! I did the exact same thing to Riley; I literally told you about that last week! What’s wrong, it’s the middle of the fucking night Joel?”
“Baby’s comin,’ we need you to run and wake Bill and Frank up.”
“Shit!” she hops out of bed fast, desperately searching the room for shoes and socks before turning to him quizzical look on her face “wait it’s too early, isn’t it?”
“Only a couple weeks, it’ll be fine baby girl, hurry and go get Bill and Frank, okay?”
“Yeah, I will, is she okay?”
Before he can respond you’re screaming his name, begging him to come back, he doesn’t hesitate to leave Ellie’s room finding you hunched over on yourself as you moan through a pain. “Fuck Joel, they’re getting so bad, this seems really fast!”
“It takes as long as it takes baby if she’s ready to come out, then we’re ready to get her out, v’sent Ellie to get Bill and Frank they’ll be here soon. We’re ready for her baby don’t be scared.”
“I just want her to be okay, that’s all I want. Her to be healthy, I’ll never forgive myself if she isn’t, I don’t want my body to fail her” you whimper as the pain begins to deplete; Joel holds you close.
“She will be baby, she will. Your body hasn’t failed her, it will not fail her” he kisses the top of your head.
By the time Ellie returns with Bill and Frank you and Joel have made your way into the living room where Joel is laying out some things ready. You’re pacing the length of the room sucking on your water bottle as they get into action to help.
“Guessing it’s showtime!” Frank beams
“Seems that way!” you laugh.
Frank is laying out some towels along the sofa as Bill and Joel ensure everything is organised. Your pacing stops, you place the bottle down and you rest your palms on the back of the sofa as your contraction takes full throttle, the groaning that leaves you has Frank quickly at your side pushing against your back.
Joel reassures from across the room, “remember your breathin’ baby, yeah good baby that’s good.”
You can’t believe the amount of support you have in your time of need. As your gaze searches the room whilst you breathe through the contractions you can’t help but admire how these three men before you are doing everything in their power to help make this as easy a process as possible. Everyone is running on the love you all have for this baby- it’s transformed into pure energy. Everything is so organised.
“Okay?” Frank quizzes holding your waist as you stand straight again with the pain finally gone.
“All good” you smile.
With a makeshift bed made on the sofa, waterproof protective sheets topped with blankets cover it as well as the floor, leaves there with nothing left to do but wait. Joel is at your side the whole time pushing on your back as and when you need it. Helping you to breathe through the pains. Reassuring you when it gets too much, and you need help calming back down. Helping with your random bouts of shivering- where you suddenly find you’re unable to stop your whole body from shaking, but you aren’t cold. There’s no reason for you to be cold it’s the middle of the summer. “Hey Darlin’ you cold?” You shake your head no “I- j-just can’t - stop-p shaking.” Nerves and anxiety are getting the better of you, you can feel it. Your whole body is going into a kind of fight or flight response as you sit there shaking. Joel holds you close rubbing at your side to try to coax your body to calm down. “S’okay baby, all part of getting her here that’s what you gotta focus on, gets us closer to meetin’ her.”
🍓🍓🍓🍓
Hours have now passed evidently as the light is now creeping in through the sides of the curtains and the birds have begun chirping.
“Joel, I think we should go on a walk?” you decide remembering reading about how exercise helps in practically all the books you read.
“A walk really, now y’sure?”
“Yeah fresh, July dawn air, plus exercise is meant to help you progress.”
“She’s right!” Frank adds smiling at you both “walking will work wonders.”
“Okay, if that’s what you wana do baby that’s what we’ll do.”
As it’s a warm July morning despite it being so early, there’s no need for coats, instead you just slide on your shoes and begin taking a slow walk around a small section of the town.
“You, okay?” Joel questions quietly.
You take a deep breath before replying “I’m okay, I can’t believe we’re actually doin’ this.”
“I know, it’s crazy. Wasn’t anything like this when we had Sarah, we were straight in the hospital and they looked at us like we were clueless kids, I mean we were young yes, but we knew what we were doing, well as much as the next couple… They weren’t nice to Sarah’s mom one bit, and I couldn’t wait for us to get outa there! Doin’ it like this is so much nicer, it’s real, surrounded by good people who only wana help.”
“I couldn’t imagine having this baby in the QZ, or even in a normal hospital if the world hadn’t gone to shit… I love that it’s like this. I might be in fucking agony, but I love this.” You’ve only been walking for about 15 minutes not having got too far almost constantly needing to stop as you contract. “Can we go back home now? I need to sit down.”
“You sure baby ain’t been out f’long?”
“I know but I’m feelin’ a lot of pressure I just wana sit down.”
“Pressure? Like you need to push?” He startles eyes bugging.
“No” you can’t help but chuckle as you look to him “not yet, but just there’s all this pressure in my back. It hurts more being up on my feet. I kinda thought it would help but it definitely doesn’t, I think no matter what I’m gonna be uncomfortable until she gets here now.”
“Okay. We’ll get you home baby, get you comfy again.”
You slowly walk back to the house arm in arm with Joel. He hasn’t left your side, completely ignoring his own needs to ensure you’re okay. He’s been awake for hours, just as long as you but he isn’t complaining. He’s being absolutely perfect. The sort of example of how a man should treat you and you can’t wait to tell your child this story.
Once back in the house he helps to ease you back onto the sofa. The room is empty, and so much brighter with the curtains now open. You can hear chatter coming from the kitchen. “They must be eatin’ breakfast” Joel utters as he cuddles you close.
You push off him to look him in the eye “go join them you must be starving.”
“M’not leaving you baby.”
“Joel go eat, please.”
“Sure?”
“Yes, it’s not like you starving yourself is gonna make this baby come any faster” you chuckle before gently shoving at his chest “go eat now.”
“You want anythin’?”
“No thank you, I’m good I’d definitely throw up if I ate something right now.”
“Want a drink or anythin’?” he stands but is super reluctant to leave.
“Joel, we are gonna fall out in a minute! Please goooo and look after yourself for five damn minutes, I’m okay I’ve got a massive bottle of water here” you laugh as you point.
“Okay baby, holler if you need me?”
“I promise, now go and eat!”
He jokily salutes as he walks into the kitchen disappearing behind the door.
You breathe slowly through the next few contractions swaying your body from side to side to try to alleviate some of the pain in your back. They’re agonising and there’s hardly any space between them at this point, but you’re managing it as best you can. Finding ways to cope, trying not to scream the house down (too much).
You begin to shift uncomfortably as you feel a load of sudden pressure down below, vastly different from the pressure you’ve been getting in your back. You can’t help the way your body begins to squeeze and the pain that overcomes you is absolutely excruciating. Then you feel it, that sudden agonising urge to push.
“JOEL!” You scream as tears coat your cheeks. He smashes open the kitchen door and comes running to the room. Bill, Frank, and Ellie close behind. You’re in too much pain to speak to any of them your hearts beating too quick to register what they’re asking of you. It’s the only thing you can hear, the thump of your own heart echoing through your body. You feel as Joel comes to sit next to you grabbing your hand, but your entire body is tight as the pain rips through you, and you can’t help but scream. All composure lost.
As the pain slowly begins to alleviate you hear as Frank seems to address Joel “I think it’s time.”
When you stop screaming and it turns to panting your tear-filled eyes scan the faces looking back at you. Your lip quivers as you struggle to steady your breathing.
“Okay baby?” Joel softly questions “that’s it just breathe calm yourself down.”
You nod. Looking to him through glossy eyes “I need to push” you whine.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I really need to push I can feel her coming out!”
Joel and Frank both jump, Bill seeming to be the only adult in the room who’s still composed, and Ellie just watches from the sidelines, a nervous spectator.
“Okay baby we gotta get y’leggings off.”
You nod in response as Joel kneels at your feet “want me to cover you up?”
“I don’t care just get them off so I can get her out!” you scream again pushing at the waistband of your leggings as a pain rips through you. Bill rushes to your side sitting as he gives you one of his hands to squeeze using his free hand to rub at your back.
When the leggings are off your body Joel coaxes you to move closer to the edge of the sofa so you’re in an optimal position to give birth.
Joel looks up at you as he rests his hands over your knees “Just listen to your body baby if you need to push, push.”
“I’m scared!”
“I know baby, I know, but she’s finally comin’ n’that’s what matters.”
“Exactly Flower” Frank presses a kiss to your forehead before also kneeling before you giving you one of his hands. “You squeeze onto mine and Bill’s hands as much as you need to and let’s get this baby out. I know what I’m doing so don’t worry okay?”
Joel and Frank both kneel on the floor before you watching the progress, Bill had readied towels and hot water before coming to be your personal squeeze toy. When a pain starts, you scream and push, you can’t help but cry too. Never ever having felt pain like it. You push for the ten seconds that Frank counts, stopping with a gasp as you throw your head back panting.
“Joel come up here please” you beg.
“But I thought you wanted me here; said you wanted me to catch her?”
You move your head back looking into his eyes “hold me please” as you begin crying again.
“Okay Babygirl”
He has a quick conversation with Frank before moving to sit the other side of you taking your other hand from Frank’s. You rest your head on his shoulder as he kisses your head, much preferring it this way. “You got this baby” he whispers softly. Joel acts all composed but you know deep down he’s as scared as you are and rightfully so, he doesn’t need to be down that end stressing he should be with you helping you and enjoy seeing your baby come into the world the same way you are. Frank had already said multiple times he was happy to be the sole person to help deliver, but you always liked the idea of Joel being there too. “M’right here baby, you got this m’so proud of you” he mumbles into your hair.
“Her heads coming” Frank announces as you continue to pant heavily. “Push hard with the next pain” and so you do, giving it everything you’ve got as the contraction takes over. Feeling the head coming out further you take a quick deep breath before pushing again not waiting on another pain to get it completely out. You do this until the head it fully out gasping loud as you throw your head back. You’re about to go again when Frank interrupts “Just keep panting don’t push yet” Frank demands suddenly. “What, why?” He doesn’t reply but reaches to hold the baby’s head. “Frank?” You plea whispering. You can’t see what he’s doing but can feel as his fingers move.
“S’going on Frank?!” Joel growls.
“Cords wrapped round her neck just easing it off” you watch the concentration on his face and the relief that washes over once he pulls his hands back away “okay you can push when you’re ready. Give me a nice big one okay flower gotta get the shoulders out.”
You nod taking a moment to compose yourself before pushing again, panting heavily as you feel the sweat that coats your face drip, eager for it all to be over so you can meet your beautiful baby. You know you have to push a lot harder to get the shoulders out and you’re more than ready. After three more agonising pushes, screaming loudly as you grip onto the men either side of you. “Push, push, push, that’s it she’s coming!” Frank exclaims you feel as the baby slips free, crying instantly as you gasp with relief. Frank quickly places them against your chest as you lean back against the sofa. He places a towel over the tiny body as you hold them close, tiny but loud whimpers matching yours. Joel sits back with you placing a palm to his new babies head. You can’t stop crying, he can’t stop crying, emotions way too high “she’s here, oh my god she’s here!” You cry.
“You did it baby, you did so good” Joel praises kissing your forehead his own tears forming “Oh she’s so beautiful” Joel whimpers.
“Oh my god she’s so small” you utter eyes glossy as you stroke at her back, chest still heaving from what you’ve been through.
Minutes pass in what feels like seconds and when everyone’s tears have subsided, and yes everyone does include Bill. Ellie breaks the silence “well?”
“Well, what?” Joel counters looking over his shoulder at her as she moves closer to get a look at the baby.
“You’re still saying ‘she’ does that mean it’s confirmed?”
“Oh yeah, best check huh?” Joel chuckles looking back to you.
You begin to laugh too gently easing your body forward to sit straight Joel helping you to do so. When in position you cradle your baby’s body in both palms as you bring them off your chest. They squirm slightly as they’re moved, you pull them away from your chest quickly observing the tiny body and as expected; it’s a girl…
“Beautiful little angle girl” Frank whispers stroking a finger over her tiny little hand.
“She’s gorgeous Beaut” Bill praises aside you.
You look to Frank before also flicking your eyes to Bill. “Honestly thank you both so much for this, for all of this, you two gave me life, you’ve allowed me to live out my dreams in this fucked world. I love you both so much.”
Bill moves close to your side brining you in close to his body “we love you too, always.”
“Ow” you suddenly wince. Feeling a stabbing pain down below, you’re already feeling so much going on down there, but as you feel something coming away it hurts all over again.
Frank stokes at your leg “Take it easy, sit back for me Flower gotta get the placenta out, it’s not gonna be pretty” you nod carefully leaning your body back keeping your legs spread so he can work as you admire your crying daughter as you cradle her to your chest again.
“Oh, I know honey you’ve had a busy day huh?” You stroke her back softly, laughing when she doesn’t let up her cute sobbing “yeah that’s it you tell em.” You continue to hold her close willing her to calm down and then she does. Turning the noises she makes into little coos.
“Joel look at her” you whisper as you place a kiss to the top of her head.
“She’s absolutely stunnin.’ You did so amazin’ gettin’ her out.”
You breathe a much more content sigh as you really take a moment to process what you’ve just done. Exactly what it is that your body’s been through. Your heart hurts with the amount of love you’re feeling for this tiny bundle on your chest. Frank gently clamps the cord and once white Joel has the honour of cutting it.
“Joel why don’t you clean her up, get her in a nappy and some clothes before she gets cold and starts screaming again. Best to get her comfy before then huh? We know exactly what her mamas like when she’s not happy so let’s not have her getting that loud again” Frank looks up briefly with a cheeky grin on his face.
“Frank, you love me way too much to mean that” you chuckle softly before kissing your daughter’s head.
“You know I do” he winks before looking back between your legs again to focus on the matter at hand.
Joel strokes your head gently to gain your attention “you okay if I take her baby.”
“Yeah” you mumble sadly, placing another kiss to her head before he very carefully picks her up. It makes you cry again as you watch him love his new daughter; hold her for the first time and kiss her forehead gently.
“Hi, my beautiful girl, your momma and I have waited a long time for you, and we’ve picked out the cutest little outfit for you.” He utters quietly as he walks over to the changing table. You watch it awe at his ability to parent, at how natural it all is to him. He makes conversation with her the entire time he’s paying her attention, it’s obviously in his blood that he’s meant to be a daddy. And even if it has been over thirty years since he was last a daddy to a newborn, it’s as though nothings been forgotten. Down to the most minute of details, he’s amazing.
Bill kisses your forehead whilst you wait admiring Joel work from a distance “I’m so proud of you, I really am you did amazing.”
You turn to look him in the eye as tears threaten release once more. He quickly brings his thumb to wipe the escaping tears away. “No more tears now, it’s over and a new chapter of your life is starting.”
“I just still can’t get over the fact I did it and that I got to do it here, with my whole family around me, somewhere safe, so full of love.”
“Trust me when I say we’re honoured you chose to have her here, we’ve both never been so excited for something. You gave us both so much purpose in life Beaut, I know you always say we saved you, but you saved us just as much.”
As you begin sniffling, he pulls you close to his chest, stroking your arm gently as he places another kiss to your head.
“Here she is” Joel announces returning after a few minutes with your daughter in a little pink floral baby grow. Way too big for her tiny frame. You’d picked out a blue and pink baby grow ready for when you knew what gender your gorgeous baby was.
Bill is still holding you close as Joel begins speaking “now mama, we got her all dressed up for you, but it’s a bit too big so her feet don’t go where they’re supposed to just yet, they don’t reach” he chuckles as he admires his daughter all scrunched up. Mittened hands held close to her face as she stares up at him.
“Placentas out. You wana move to lie down Flower?” Frank questions as he brings a blanket over your legs.
“No, I wana feed her first so I’ll just sit back and try that first.”
“Come on Beaut I’ll help.” Bill stands quickly helping you move into a better position propping pillows up around you so that you can feed her comfortably. He then begins helping Frank to tidy away. You quickly take your top off and Joel helps to put her back into your arms. She immediately starts fishing around for your nipple and with Joel’s help placing her in a position to take it into her mouth she latches quickly. It’s painful at first and you can’t help flinching, but you get more comfortable with every suck. Joel covers your other breast back up with a blanket, so you don’t feel as exposed and sits where Bill just was as they get to work cleaning. He doesn’t leave your side through the feed.
“I still can’t believe she’s here” you whisper stroking a finger over your daughter’s cheek as she guzzles content whilst Joel leans his head on your shoulder to be as close as he can.
“You did it baby, you did so amazin,’ and I love you so much f’giving her to me.”
“Awh” you turn to look him in the eye smiling “I love you too, so much” you lean in to kiss him, and he meets you halfway.
After about thirty minutes of feeding, an even 15 minutes on each breast she begins showing signs that she’s full. “I think she’s done baby.”
“She did good, bet she’s all nice and full now.”
You gently pull her away from your breast and Joel helps cover you back up. She scrunches her body together evidently tired. “Will you burp her I’m scared” you look to Joel.
He chuckles lightly “baby you won’t hurt her I promise.”
“But she’s so small and you’ve done it before you know what you’re doing I don’t. I don’t want to do anything wrong.” You can’t help the way your eyes begin filling with tears.
“Hey baby no, none of that” he wipes the tears from your eyes “you won’t do anythin’ wrong; you learn as you do with parenting. Trust me you can do so much preparing, so much reading, but until you do you have no idea what you’re doing. Take it from me I was young, way outa my depth, but I did it and loved every fuckin’ second just like I’m gonna again. And I’m always gonna be here to help. We will help each other we both have loads to learn. Okay?” He smiles as he reaches to take your daughter from your arms “just watch what I do okay baby, I promise you won’t hurt her.” You nod as you watch him perch your tiny daughter on his knee holding under her chin as he keeps her back straight tapping and rubbing firm but not too hard. Your daughter looks unimpressed and scrunches her face angrily as her daddy taps at her back. It doesn’t take long for her to let out a loud belch and he then brings her to his face, places a kiss to her forehead before lying her so her head sits on his shoulder.
“You’re so good with her” you stroke at your daughter’s head as he pats her bottom gently.
“You’re good with her too, a lot better than you give yourself credit for.”
“How can you know that she’s about an hour old” you chuckle.
“Trust me I know. You’re an amazing mama and m’gonna tell you every single day."
Next I Series Masterlist I Main masterlist
#the last of us#joel miller#fluff and smut#tommy miller#angst#pregnancy#maria the last of us#eventual smut#childbirth#pregnancy fic#pregnant#tw childbirth#giving birth#so much family fluff#caring joel miller#forever#chapter 2
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My haven could be you - Part 3
Joel Miller x f!reader (18+) - Part 1 Part 2
Summary: Joel fights some inner demons about your relationship until you make him see that he is more to you than just a warm body in your bed
Word count: 5.072
Warnings: angst, flirting, pining, feelings, smut, dirty talk, PinV intercourse, rough, desperate, cursing, phisical fight, inapropriate behaviour towards a woman, injury
MINORS DNI!!!
Authors note: Here it is :) The highly requested Part 3. It´s gettin´ steamy again my loves. Hold onto your panties! Not proveread yet
The days trickled by like summer rain and Joel seemed to be more infatuated with you day by day. He´d cook for you, you´d provide the veggies and meats. He´d make sure you got home safe each night before kissing you goodbye passionately in front of your door. On more occasion than one you´d just walk backwards into your apartment and pull him with you. And although he tried to be a gentleman, sometimes your eyes, crooked grin and hands all over his chest made it impossible to resist another night with you.
Something was nagging in the back of his head though. Was he really holding back because he wanted to be a gentleman and take is slow or did he just not want people to see him emerge from your apartment in the morning? The both of you had been out in public together, sure. But you never held hands, kissed or acted couple-y at all. You hadn´t even talked about the status of your relationship. Yes, the sex was fantastic and the attraction was magnetic, earthshattering and simply an addicting feeling.
Still, you were quite a bit younger than him and sometimes when he looked onto your sleeping face in the crook of his arm he was painfully reminded of your youth. No lines or bags around your eyes, smooth skin, vibrant hair. Some scars here and there of course but they never distracted from your beauty in his eyes.
One particular night, he again was unable to resist your touch and little kisses and by the time you fell onto his sweaty chest panting, he once again wondered how in all the stars you were attracted to him. Your sweet little breaths still tickled his chest hair as you lightly chuckled. His broad hands moved soothingly over your back when he heard it.
“Oh, come on. I wasn´t that bad” he said with a smirk. Pinching his side and grinning wildly you lifted your head and looked at him. Rolling your eyes at his smirk you leaned up and kissed him thoroughly again. Your tongue was just as addicting as basically everything else. He groaned deep in his throat and enjoyed the post orgasmic laziness with you. When you broke the kiss you opened your eyes and smiled down at him. Your knuckles gently stroked his cheekbones.
“Would you stop making fun of yourself already? I can´t tell yet whether you´re serious or not.” Joel raised an eyebrow. “I´m making fun of myself?” he asked quietly. “Yes,” you said with a nod and lowered your voice comically. “…let this old man take you to bed. You´re only riding me because you want to spare my back. Old and fragile men need to be in bed early-“ Joel pinched your side with a chuckle before you could continue. “I guess I do make a lot of these comments, don´t I?” he said in a much more pensive tone. You hummed and looked at him curiously. “You…you know I don´t mind the age gap…right?” you asked carefully. Joel took a deep breath. So…it was today, huh? The talk.
“Why?” he asked with a sigh. If he wanted to feel more confident with you he´d had to ask. “Why don’t you mind? It´s not small.” You nodded. “True. It´s not what´s considered normal I guess but seriously…what has been in the last 20 years?” Your temper was flaring up a little. “I don´t care because you´re so fucking hot I can barely keep my hands to myself. I don´t care because you´re gentle with the people you love or want to protect and ruthless to those who harm the innocent. You can be so insanely funny when you let loose a little and I pride myself in the fact that I manage to tickle that out of you sometimes. I don´t care because you don’t give a fuck about what people think about you but care about what they think of me…that´s the reason you always leave and never stay the night, isn’t it? So no one sees you leave my apartment and judges me. Isn´t that right?” Your eyes were hard when you looked into his face again.
Joels eyes were wide with recognition and his mouth slightly open with surprise. He certainly didn’t expect this turn in the conversation. “I´m much older than you” he said lamely. “I don´t want people to think you don´t have other options or…I´m blackmailing you somehow. Argh, I don´t know” he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Joel” you said as gently as you could and it made his stomach spasm. “Joel, that´s not the case. No one is thinking that.” He scoffed. “And even if they did, they can suck some donkey´s ass for all I care!” You grumbled and kissed his chest. “I like you, Joel. I like you a fucking lot and if the last 20 years have taught me anything, it´s that we cannot make our happiness dependent on others. We have to make it on our own. At least until we find people that understand us and accept us.” You looked into his dark eyes. “If it helps…there are one or two people out there who´ve known about my… strong infatuation with you even before you asked me out. And they are very happy for me.” You didn’t know why you were blushing now. Joel had been inside of you only minutes before.
He looked at you a little dumbly but with a racing heart. “Y-You told people you have…a thing for me?” You shook your head. “No, not a thing, dumbass, you need to listen” you said sternly. “I told people that I´m infatuated with you. That I am besotted with you. That I like you! Do you get that now?” Beginning to get a little annoyed and also fighting your own insecurities, you waited for his answer. Under your palm you felt his heart pick up once more. It was like his whole body was kick starting as heat encased you yet again. With precise and quick movements Joel grabbed your waist and suddenly and with a little shriek you found yourself on your back, buried underneath him.
His eyes were the colour of coffee reflecting sunlight as he licked his lips and stared down at you. Well, you guessed this wasn´t a rejection then. “Woman” he growled. “I don´t know how you do it, but you…” he looked lost for words then sighed deeply. “I really” he kissed your nose “really” he kissed your forehead “like you too.” He kissed your lips deeply. Humming you snaked your arms around his strong neck again and pulled.
“Will you please st-“
“Yes” he interrupted against your lips.
“Yes. This is going to take until sunrise anyway so,” he grinned and descended to your neck as his tongue lightly tickled your skin. “I´ll be here all night.” You grinned and arched into him. “Don´t let me stop you then.”
The next morning Joel woke up to the smell of instant coffee and eggs, overpowered only by your scent that still clung to his skin and your pillow. Like a lovesick teenager he turned his head into the pillow and took a deep breath. Instant calmness and happiness washed over him. A feeling he´d almost forgotten. A feeling he could have sworn was lost to him, even before the outbreak. It hit him so incredibly hard he jumped out of your bed almost in a craze. With a pounding heart, almost in panic he swung open your bedroom door and stormed into your living room. To his left was your open little kitchen and there…you stood.
You held the pan with fried eggs in hand, spatula halted in the air as you looked at him with big eyes full of curiosity. “Joel?” His chest was heaving as he took you in fully. You were wearing a white top, no bra and plaid shorts that stopped mid-thigh. Driven by the promise of your warmth and still the almost impending panic in his system he moved forward, stretching his arms out to you. You let go of the pan and spatula immediately.
He crashed into you, pulling you so close to his chest you momentarily lost your breath. One hand came to the back of your head, burying into your hair, the other one rested on your waist, pulling you into him. Your own arms came around his waist immediately as you mumbled into his neck. “Joel? What´s happened?” His breathing was calm but his heart was not. “Bad memory…crept in on me” he said. It was only half a lie. He did remember something. But it wasn´t anything bad. At least, he hoped not. “I see” you said gently and squeezed him a little more. He rested his cheek onto your head and just stood there with you for a while. You enjoyed every second of it, your thumbs painting patterns onto his skin. Gently you kissed his neck. “Better?” you asked and lifted your head slightly. Joel looked down at you and lightly tapped the tip of your nose with his own. “Yeah” he drawled. “Yeah, ´s better now, darlin´.” Oh. Dear. Gods. Above. The accent…you felt your knees weaken as you tried to control your bodies reaction.
You cleared your throat and leaned back slightly. “Eggs are getting cold” you whispered. “Breakfast. Go sit down” you almost couldn’t look at him. He leaned down, looking at you so intently you forgot how to breath. “Yes ma´am” he said in a gravelly voice and hadn´t his arms still been encasing you, you knew you would have slithered down your cabinets. His lips where on yours the next second and far too quickly he released you again. Your lips tingling and a very strange feeling in your gut.
After breakfast, Joel wanted to work on the drain outside of his and Ellies house and you decided to visit Dakota in the bakery. She needed a well deserved update. The both of you exited your apartment, descended the flight of stairs and came to a stop in front of the bakery. Joel looked at you fondly although a nervous tick lifted the corner of his mouth. You took initiative. Smiling up at him like he was a precious price you´d just won, you leaned in, lay your hands on his chest and gave him a lingering kiss on the cheek. Joel took a deep breath and as you leaned back reached out his hand and gently stroked the apple of your cheek.
“See you at the bar tonight for dinner?” he asked. You grinned and nodded yes immediately. Watching him leave into the direction of his house you turned on your heals and dramatically opened the doors to the bakery. Dakota was already sitting on the counter, flower in her hair as always and the most shit eating grin on her face you´d ever seen on a person. “You absolute devil of a woman. How the fuck did you do that?” she asked with more than just awe in her voice.
“Do what?” you asked, genuinely confused for a second. Dakota rolled her eyes. “Sweet cheeks. Joel doesn’t exactly have the reputation of lovey dovey boyfriend material. So, how´d you do it? Seeing that just now...that man eats out of the palm of your hand!” She cackled at her last statement while you thought about it. She was absolutely right. The man that you first met a couple of months ago and the man that had just said goodbye…they weren’t exactly the same. “Maybe that´s a good thing” you said defiantly, smirking at your friend. Dakota nodded and threw you a piece of freshly baked baguette.
“Maybe now he can let loose a little.” She said wisely. “The fucking must be glorious!” You threw your head back as you laughed and hopped onto the counter as well. “Oh, Ducky. You have no idea.”
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Joel was looking at his freshly showered face as he buttoned up his dark green plaid shirt. His hand glided over his hair and his beard. You called him hot. He almost scoffed again but wrangled it down. If you said it was hard for you not to touch him, he´d do his best to believe it. For fucks sake, you had his dick in your mouth last night…twice... and he still thought about if your actions were genuine.
When he praised your body all night long he knew in his heart every word was nothing but the truth. So he really had to believe you too. That also meant that he should really start not giving a shit about what other people thought of their…relationship? Situationship? Maybe…if he made his interest in you known to everyone, situations like the one with Levi would probably not happen again.
His chest expanded in an involuntary growl thinking about the man that had dared to lay his hands on you. He remembered the hot white jealousy he felt and the rage when he saw it. A weird possessive feeling spread through him and somehow he marvelled in it. He couldn’t wait to see you tonight. He´d loved the time he had you all to himself in his or your room. It was time however to let the people know that you were his and he wouldn’t tolerate anyone’s hands on you except his own.
________________________________________________________
The moment you spotted him standing in front of the barn you knew something was different. He carried himself differently. He was talking to his brother who spotted you first, smirked and patted Joels back before entering the barn.
Joels head whipped towards you and he smiled. Your heart was in your throat all of a sudden. When you stood in front of him, admiring his broad body once again he hummed contently and gave you a firm hug. “Hungry?” he asked into your hair. “Yeah” you breathed in surprise. He let go of you and gently guided you inside the barn with a warm hand on your back. The feeling was indescribable. You had so idea how much you actually wanted him to show his affections in public. It made you feel like this wasn’t just pure attraction and sexual tension.
Joel guided you to one of the free tables and pulled out a chair, looking at you expectantly. From the corner of your eye you could see a few eyes on you. In the back at the bar were Tommi and his wife, watching and smiling. You thanked Joel and sat down with a soft smile. “I´ll be right back” he said and made his way over to the woman who gave out the food for that day. You watched as he gave her a polite nod and waited for her to prepare two plates. With a stinging feeling you saw how she was hungrily looking at Joels exposed forearms that he´d crossed in front of his chest. You saw her say something while leaning suspiciously close to him. A saucy smile on her lips that made your lip curl before you saw Joel´s mouth move. He had a tight lipped smile on his face and suddenly her saucy smile fell a little. You could still see her staring at him while he retreated. Another peng in your chest as you saw her eyes move way too low for your liking.
So, when he made his way back to you, you made a bit of a show of letting your gaze glide over his chest, neck and down to his crotch. Lifting an eyebrow he sat your food in front of you and sat down next to you. “Soooo” you drawled and turned your upper body towards him. “Wanna tell me what this is about?” you asked and gestured to him in general. “What do you mean, darlin`?” he faked a bewildered look. “Oh please,” you giggled. “You´re openly flirting, being incredibly chivalrous and look like sex on legs. What´s a girl to think?”
“Maybe what I want a girl to think is that I am completely under her spell and I think people should know that” he said earnestly. You felt your face heat up and resisted the urge to bury your face in your hands. So, you opted with staring at him a bit too long before you giggled and leaned in closer. “A girl is very, very happy about that.” Joel took a deep breath and nodded. “Eat” he said. “I plan on having a few drinks with you tonight. You know, to celebrate your victory over me” he winked.
“Victory? Was there a battle?” you asked curiously. He shrugged a little. “Momentarily.” His face became serious for a second. “I´m glad you fought for me, though.” Your heart all but melted when he said that. “I´d do it a million times over” you said. He exhaled through his nose, took your hand and gave it a quick kiss. With a roaring satisfaction you saw how the woman that was oogling him before suddenly looked very sour and turned away. A massive sense of “mine” invaded your body as you gave him a heated look.
All fed and happy you strolled over to the bar, Joels arm around your waist. You were glad that no one gave you any dirty looks. Other than one or the other disappointed glance from various women. But you could live with that. The evening proceeded and it was the most fun you had in ages. Music was playing, you were drinking and Joel got touchier by the minute. Nothing dirty or inappropriate but people had to be blind not to see how much he enjoyed being with you.
Around midnight however you spotted something that made your blood boil so bad, you almost threw your glass of whiskey against a wall. Joel was standing next to you talking to one of the horse handlers as you saw the uncomfortable face of a young girl across the room. She was trying to establish distance from a very persistent…Levi. He constantly reached out his hand to touch her in some way and her back made it unconsciously close to a wall. If he managed to corner her…
Your legs moved on their own accord. Bothering you for ages and making you feel uncomfortable was one thing. He´d been one more sentence away from a beating from you anyway. But bothering this young girl and cornering her? Fuck no. That beating was coming. You weren’t even thinking about Joel. Tunnel vision led you directly to the girl. Thankfully she moved back from him in another direction so you now came right up behind her. Levi saw you and an ugly grin made its way onto his sharp features.
As soon as you were in earshot and you could see that he once again was red in the face from too much alcohol he looked directly at you, liking his lips. “I knew a little jealousy would make you see reason,___.” He cackled. “Seriously, trying to make me jealous with that grandpa was just too pathetic.” Rage was coursing through you like fire as you gently pushed the young girl aside and gestured her to get away. She didn’t hesitate for a second whispering a quick thank you.
“As far as I remember that grandpa kicked your ass the last time you dared being disrespectful to me” you hissed in a deadly tone. Levi´s eyes squinted. “That dirty old fucker better watch nex-“ WHAM! With all you might your arm pulled back and your fist collided with Levi´s jaw. Pain shot through your hand but you paid it no mind. A red sheen invaded your vision as Levi tumbled back, you following and WHAM, your next blow, quite uncoordinated collided with Levi´s ear. He fell to the ground as you panted above him, still standing and seething. “Let me get one thing straight, Levi” you spat. “If I see you one more time making some poor girl uncomfortable, I will personally see to it that you´ll be castrated in the towns square, do you hear me?!” Your voice got louder with every word. “One more time, Levi and I swear that´ll be the longest time you have balls!” You breathed heavily, lowering your voice considerably. "And if you ever dare to say another bad word about Joel, I´ll not only castrate you, I will showcase your balls in jar full of formaldehyde right behind the bar!"
Two men had already grabbed Levi by the arms and dragged him over to the door, smirking at his feeble attempts to fight them off.
The red sheen vanished from your eyes as you stretched to your full hight and turned around, shaking your aching hand. As you looked at it though nothing seemed to be injured. Maybe a bruise would form but nothing a little ice could handle.
When you lifted your head you stopped in your tracks. All eyes in the barn were on you. Heat crept up your neck when you realised that you had probably caused a major scene. Your eyes soughed out Joel´s. You found them immediately and a shiver ran down your spine. He stood still at the bar, glass in hand still and a look of pride, amusement and fiery passion in his eyes. Without breaking eye contact he set down his glass on the bar and walked over to you slowly. Your feet began moving as well, though much quicker as his.
Faintly you could hear how everyone picked up on their previous conversations again and the music became a bit louder. When Joel reached you he still looked like he was about to devour you and laugh his ass off at the same time. With a deep breath he held your face in his hands and with a not so quiet voice, swollen with pride he said “That´s my girl, baby!”
His kiss that followed was electric. Already shaking from its intensity you grabbed onto his shoulders and let him guide. Open mouthed, he took your lips with his in a persistent dance and groaned lightly when he felt your nails bite into his neck. When he let go of you, the ringing in your ears finally let you hear the several hoops and hollers from the spectators around you. You couldn’t help the massive grin that was forming on your face.
“Fucking finally!” you heard a bored voice next to you and saw Ellie smirking at you. Joel already gave her a warning glance. “What?!” she looked at him defiantly. “At least now I can stop lying to people when they ask me about who your date was with and I had to say I didn’t know!” She winked at you. “You owe me one. And now excuse me, I have to get this image out of my brain…and the one from last time as well!”
“Follow me” Joel growled in your ear and took your hand. Leading you towards the kitchen you thought he´d go get some ice for your hand but before you reached the kitchen he made a right and led you down a small hallway towards the backdoor. Your heart was beating out of your chest at this point.
The warm night air hit your face and you took a deep gulp. Joel stopped and quickly looked left and right. To your left where the paddocks for the horses and next to them, neatly stacked into a dark corner, some straw barrels. “Perfect” he muttered to himself and started walking again.
“Joel…erm...” you said with an amused voice. You could see how tense his shoulders were, heard his breath escape his mouth. “I´ll get you some ice for your hand in a minute baby but right now I hope you´ll forgive me…If I don’t fuck you within the next minute, I´m going berserk.” Fluid heat raged through your veins immediately and you already felt its effect on your panties. “Jesus, fuck” you huffed as you reached the barrels and Joel spun you around and pinned you to one of them. His mouth immediately went right to your neck and bit down hard.
A moan raptured from your throat as he licked the sting and groaned at the taste of you. “Sorry darlin´,” he panted against your chest. His fingers inside your cleavage already, searching for your sensitive nipple. “This is going to be quick and desperate. If you´re up for it.” Your head was hazy and leaned back. You spoke to the night sky when you said “Wouldn´t have it any other way.”
With your last willpower you turned around and leaned your elbows on the barrel bending over. Looking over your shoulder with half lidded eyes you wiggled your ass. “Come on, handsome. ´M ready. Quick and dirty.” You moved one of your hands and bunched your dress up to your thigh.
An animalistic growl escaped Joel when he saw the moonlight reflect off of your sweaty thigh. Like a vice his hand gripped yours and led it back to the barrel. “Leave it there” he hissed. Not a minute later your panties dangled somewhere around your ancles, your dress was hiked up over your ass and the sound of Joels belt buckle made your thighs quiver.
“My gorgeous fucking girl, look at you” he panted in awe. “You´re glistening, baby. So ready for me.” You nodded and whined pathetically as you felt the tip of his cock slowly inch into you. “Fuck” you heard Joel growl. “Be ready!” With these words and one powerful thrust he leaned over you and buried himself as deeply inside of you as he could. A shout escaped your moth as you felt his pure desperation in every movement he made. One hand came down next to your ear for support before the other grabbed your hip. “So fucking hot” Joel breathed as his hips snapped into you from behind with bruising accuracy. “Never seen something so hot. God, baby. You smashed that fuckers face in!”
You whined and tried to stay quiet but it was next to impossible. “F-for you. Ah! Shit…He was…he was talking shit about y-you. Oh, oh, hmm!” Joel growled again in a mixture of lust and fury. “I heard” he panted and picked you up by the shoulders. Pressing your back against his chest he picked up speed again and was now rutting into you like a man possessed. He grabbed onto your breast as his other hand quickly moved towards your centre. “Of fuck! Joel, Joel! I´m gonna cum…please!” Your voice spiralled to the beats of the music still coming from the barn.
“I know, doll. I know. Let me help you. I´m. There. With. You.” He accentuated every word with another grind against your ass. The moment he found your clit all you could see was darkness. And then it all exploded into a firework of sparks as you gasped for air, gripping his cock like a vice and trying to will your vocal cords to say his name. “That´s it! Fuck, sweet thing. That´s it! Fuck, yes. Fuck! Yes! Argh!” he yelled into your hair as he pulled himself out of you quickly and spilled all over your inner thighs. You felt his stickiness run along your skin and another wave of shivers wrecked your body. Joel was panting behind you, still holding you up with one arm and slowly relaxing his grip on you.
“Holy shit” he mumbled and kissed your temple. “Are you all right?”
You giggled and leaned your head back onto his shoulder. “Hmmm” you hummed with a smile. “Yes. I am so, so alright. That was incredible.” Joel nuzzled your hair again. “I´m glad” he said gravelly. “I don’t think I would´ve survived if I didn’t take you right that second. Fuckin´ hell.”
You giggled and slowly turned around, the skirt of your dress falling over your thighs again. “Thank fuck, you did” you grinned and pulled him down for a long kiss. Sorting out your underwear while Joel put himself back into his jeans he suddenly grabbed and hoisted you onto the barrel. Looking down on him slightly you hugged him close with your thighs and looked at him expectantly.
“Got something to say” he whispered and stroked your hair affectionately. “Listening” you said and lightly kissed his lips. He chuckled and chased yours briefly. He opened his eyes and looked at you with affection and incredible softness. “I still know the exact moment I told a girl this for the first time. Needless to say it didn’t work out but…I´m trying to say that I don’t say these things lightly and sure as fuck, not often.” You nodded and let him continue. He took a deep breath. “I´m falling in love with you,___.”
You could have cried. Shaking fingers touched his jaw on both sides as you leaned your forehead to his in a gesture of pure affection and yes, love.
“So am I, Joel” you whispered with tears in your voice. He moved his head from left to right with immense gentleness and leaned in to kiss your lips sensually. His tongue moved over yours with precision and purpose. Minutes later the both of you came up for some much needed deep breaths and chuckled at the state you both were in.
Dishevelled hair, kiss swollen lips and crumpled clothing. “How´s your hand, my love?” he asked gently and took it in his hand. You shook your hand. “I´ll live. But some ice would be good I think.” Joel nodded and helped you down the barrel. He kissed your forehead quickly. “Wanna go to the toilet and…sort yourself out first?” he asked with a bit of a shy tone. “Sorry about the mess.” You grinned and took his hand, pulling him towards the barn again. “You know what? I think I´ll let it be as is for tonight" you grinned over at him. His mouth hung open. “Oh, you absolute temptress” he breathed with a dry mouth. “You better watch it before I put you over my knee.”
Opening the door to the back and the kitchen you turned around and pulled him down for another kiss and you spoke into his mouth. “We have all the time in the world for that, handsome. Let´s start with ice cubes” Joel growled against you. “And get to spanking later.”
That night, you fell asleep in each other´s arms. Sweet words on your lips, content, happy and for the first time in 20 years, with the feeling of hope for a content life.
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Thank you very much for reading. Please let me know what you think through a comment or reblog. Likes of course always make my day <3
Love you all and please be safe <3
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#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller imagine#joel miller smut#joel miller fic#joel miller x you#joel miller fluff#joel miller feral#tlou fic#tlou smut#tlou fanfiction#tlou fluff#tlou joel#x reader#x you#eventual smut#joel miller series#joel miller x y/n#x you smut#x you fluff
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Tess sighs and swipes left. Oh god, this one has an American flag t-shirt on, swipe left. She lifts her bottle of hard cider to her lips and keeps swiping. Shit, it’s Gary from two doors down. Oh, he doesn’t look too bad in those biking shorts. Tess tilts her head and gives an appreciative hum, her finger hovering over his profile when she remembers seeing him last week bringing out his trash can in a raggedy robe and tighty-whities with a hole near the waistband. Tess sighs again and swipes left.
Posing with a gun, left. Posing with a liquor bottle, left. Posing with a stripper, groan left. Left, left, left, left. Tess throws her phone next to her and flops back on her pillows.
Why does this have to be so damn hard? Tess just wants to go on a few dates, maybe see a movie, eat at a nice restaurant, get laid. Tess groans and throws her arm over her eyes. God, she needs to get laid.
IE: How Tess and Joel meet and their first date. Set in my, 'Tess is Ellie's foster mom' AU.
This story stands on its own, but if you want to read the first story in this series it's under Fate Making Us Fools
#tlou#tlou fanfiction#the last of us#joel miller#tess servopoulos#eventual smut#tommy miller#sarah miller#Foster Mom AU
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