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honeyedmiller · 1 year

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Dirty Thirty // Pedro Pascal

Hey everyone :') this is my first time ever writing a one-shot/imagine on Tumblr lol, and I've decided to feed into my Pedro Pascal addiction by adding to my delusions and writing this LMAO. Hope you enjoy!

warnings: age gap (17 years- the reader turns 30 in this), swearing, smut, brief mentions of daddy issues.

word count: 5.2k

synopsis: y/n admits on Jimmy Fallon's talkshow that Pedro Pascal is her celebrity crush, and Pedro turns up at y/n's thirtieth birthday party as a surprise.

"Our next guest happens to be Hollywood's fastest rising star and first-time Golden Globe winner. She's currently taking the film world by storm with her outstanding roles in Labyrinth, Stranded, and Solitaires, please welcome y/f/n y/l/n!" Jimmy excitedly beckons your presence as you made your way onto the floor, the crowd cheering loudly.

You wave at the audience with a gracious smile playing at your lips, giving Jimmy a hug and a kiss on the cheek to greet him. You took a seat on the chair next to his desk, crossing one of your midnight blue-panted legs over the other. This wasn't your first time on his talk show, so you felt comfortable and at ease.

"It's so good to see you again, y/n. You've been quite the busy woman. How are you?" Jimmy smiles in your direction, folding his hands on top of his desk as he turns toward you, offering you an inviting smile.

"I've been great! Just super busy with filming and press tours. It's been hectic but I'm having the best time." You reply with confidence, and Jimmy asks you a few more questions about the shows you've been filming before he changes the subject.

"So, the world has to know-- is a beautiful world sensation like you single right now?" He folds his hands underneath his chin like a schoolgirl that's about to gossip with their best friend. You grinned nervously, never really liking to talk about your pathetic dating life.

Nowadays, people only wanted to be with you for the fame, and you never had any interest in your co-stars. Quite frankly, your schedule was too hectic to even think about dating at the moment, but that didn't stop you from madly crushing on amazing actor and internet sensation, Pedro Pascal.

"Unfortunately, Jimmy, I'm too busy right now for dating. When the time comes, though, I'll welcome the opportunity with open arms." You giggle softly, rubbing your hands up and down your forearms in what suddenly became nervousness.

"Do you have your eye on anyone? C'monnn tell your best pal Jimmy," he pleaded while dragging his words, "It'll be our secret... along with the rest of the world." His wit was enough to make you genuinely laugh, and you shook your head. You didn't mind confessing your crush on Pedro, mainly because you didn't think you'd ever really have a chance with him anyway.

"Fine. I think Pedro Pascal is handsome... not to mention a phenomenal actor." You exasperated, feeling your cheeks become hot knowing that your secret crush wasn't a secret anymore. Oh well.

"He is a very ruggedly handsome dude," Jimmy urges, and you nod in agreement. "Did you invite him to your thirtieth birthday party? I know that's only a few days away and everyone who's anyone is going." You hadn't even had time to think about your birthday or the party because of how caught up you've been with work and press tours.

"Honestly, I've never even met him, so I doubt he'd go," You laughed aloud, mainly to yourself. "It would be cool to meet him, though." Your eyes scan the audience, the lights too bright on stage to see clearly into the crowd of people.

"He's supposed to be a guest on my show tomorrow night so maybe I can convince him to go to your party." Jimmy wiggles his eyebrows, causing you to hit his shoulder lightly with a fake gasp escaping your lips. The audience laughed and cheered at how flustered the thought of it all actually made you, but you brushed it off for now.

Jimmy finally moved on from the subject, finishing off the interview with a fun game before you said your goodbyes to him and the wonderful audience.

It was finally the day of your long-awaited party, your best friend helping you get the finishing touches of your make-up on.

"Dude, what was that confession on Jimmy Fallon's show all about?" y/b/f/n inquires. She raises her eyebrows at you as she looks at you through the vanity mirror you were sitting in front of, as she graciously offered to do your hair and makeup. You and her met on a set several years ago, as she was your designated hair and makeup artist, and you two immediately clicked and have been inseparable ever since.

"What, about Pedro?" You rolled your eyes at her playfully, "It's not like he'd ever see it. The man doesn't know I exist." You exclaim, laughing at the foolishness.

Little did you know, that was far from the truth.

"And when he shows up at your party ready to dick you down, what then?" y/b/f/n tosses her hands up in the air, quite frankly fed up with your obliviousness. Your looks were killer and your personality was a ten. She knew any man, no matter the age, would be lucky to have you.

"Y/b/f/n!" You gasped in horror, but something deep inside you ignited with excitement at the thought of that actually happening. It made you squirm a bit in your chair, and you sighed.

"Listen, he may be older, and your crush on him may be projected from your unresolved daddy issues, but make no mistake about it-- you two would be so hot together." She nodded, satisfied with her rhetoric.

You rolled your eyes once more, "I do not have unresolved daddy issues," knowing damn well she was right because in all truthfulness, you did. It's not something you talked about often, if at all, but she knew you too well. "My crush on him doesn't stem from that, at all." You shot back finally, standing up from the chair.

You took one last look in the vanity in front of you, feeling satisfied with the smokey eye look bringing out the color of your eyes in the most sensual way. Your hair was in the most perfect blowout style, framing your lovely features in all the right places. You felt hot.

"Perfect as always, y/b/f/n." You give her a hug, which she graciously returns.

"You know I always gotta slay your looks baby. Now, we're too sober for this shit. Let's get you dressed and let's get fucked up!" She shouts, shaking your shoulders in excitement. You nodded vigorously, ready to celebrate your third decade of being on earth.

The party was in full swing and it was packed with some of the most famous faces you've ever seen. If there was a few things y/b/f/n knew how to do, planning and throwing a big party was definitely one of them. You greeted so many people and thanked them for coming, some even bringing presents for you. You felt all the love on your special day, and your best friend made sure of it. You've been working so hard recently, and you needed this to just escape, even if it was for one night.

You were about five shots in at this point, definitely feeling a little tipsy. You were able to hold your liquor well and you knew your limits, so this would be your last one for awhile. You were sipping on a jack and coke, the sweetness of the soda counteracting against the semi-bitter taste of the whiskey. You were standing in a small circle of people that consisted of Oscar Isaac, y/b/f/n, and two other of your co-stars. You were listening in to the group's drunken conversation about TV shows they were currently into, when someone behind you called your name which made you turn your back against the group.

The person wished you a happy birthday with a hug, and you graciously thanked them for coming to the party. That's when you heard the oh-so-familiar voice of the man you've been crushing on for some time now, stopping you dead in your tracks.

There's no fucking way he actually showed up to my party.

Panic started to set in, not wanting to turn around. You felt your whole body get hot, feeling a little woozy.

"Y/n," You heard Oscar's voice call your name, and you swallowed thickly. Fuck. You turn around slowly, trying to keep your cool. Your eyes flickered to y/b/f/n's face, the biggest fucking grin on her mouth. Your eyes moved to Oscar, who was smiling at you with Pedro standing right next to him. Your eyes didn't dare move to Pedro's quite yet. "I want you to meet my best friend, Pedro Pascal. I know you two've never met, so," Oscar trails off, and your eyes snap to Pedro's.

A shy smile spread across your lips, those dark brown eyes making you weak in the knees. You felt like he was literally staring into your soul. Oscar stepped to the side to switch places with Pedro, so he was now standing next to you. His tall stature towered over you, even with you in heels.

"It's nice to finally meet you, y/n," Pedro smiled and stuck out his hand, which you graciously took to shake. You felt electricity surge through your whole body at the touch of his hand, causing you to slightly gasp. Your lips were slightly parted and your breathing became uneven. You shook his hand, finally smiling.

Stop acting like a fucking starstruck weirdo, you scolded yourself in your own thoughts.

"It's nice to meet you as well," You finally squeaked out, "And thank you for coming to my party." A ghost of a smile was on your lips as you tried pulling yourself together. Your eyes scanned over his body as you let go of his hand, causing your mouth to go dry and press your legs together. Luckily you were wearing a floor-length gown, so it wasn't obvious.

He was wearing a dark green suit, which he looked absolutely delicious in. He couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of you, either, because the way your black dress was hugging your curves in all the right places was quite literally enough to send him over the edge.

He cleared his throat and fixed his collar, excusing himself from the group to get a drink. As soon as he walked away, Oscar and y/b/f/n were both looking at you with raised eyebrows and mischievous grins.

"What?" Your voice falters, being a dead giveaway that your interaction with Pedro had you extremely flustered.

"You could feel that tension from across the room. Damn," Oscar laughed, knowing damn well his best friend had the hots for y/n. "Maybe I should've introduced you guys sooner, since you know, he is your celebrity crush after all." Oscar was full on laughing as he teased you, making you retort with a pout.

"Shut up, Oscar!" You roll your eyes, a pout still evident on your lips.

"Maybe he can finally cure y/n's dry spell." y/b/f/n said slyly, and you felt your whole body get hot once again. It's true, you hadn't had sex in months. You blamed it on your busy work schedule, and while half of it was true, you didn't want to blame your illiteracy of flirting or putting yourself out there.

"You bitch! That was supposed to be our secret. Way to put my business out there." You half-joked, and you were only embarrassed because she was telling the truth. Your body craved to be touched so badly, but your right hand really wasn't cutting it for you anymore.

"What'd I miss?" Pedro rejoined the three of you, but he was being coy. He overheard y/b/f/n talking about your... dry spell. He held a glass of whiskey, neat, in his hand, his eyes finding yours once more. You blushed a little as he took a sip of his drink, not breaking eye contact even once.

That single look alone was enough to make your panties wet. God, this man was so hot. Clenching your thighs wasn't going to cut it anymore.

"Just about work and stuff." You answered him while shrugging, looking down at the marble flooring beneath your feet.

"And stuff?" Pedro repeated, more as a question. Oscar and y/b/f/n exchanged glances, that thick tension between you and Pedro returning once again.

"Hey Oscar, come with me to get a drink." y/b/f/n suggested, and Oscar caught on immediately as he held out his arm for y/b/f/n to hook onto. They both disappeared within the crowd, leaving you and Pedro both to your erratic thoughts.

You peered up at him through your thick false lashes your best friend had put on you, not being able to form a single damn word. The affect this man had on you drove you absolutely insane.

He suddenly smiled at you, raising the glass in his hand so it was just below eye level to you. "Happy birthday, cariña. Salud." He cheers you, clinking his glass with yours. This time, both of you took a sip of your drinks without breaking eye contact with each other.

You're not sure if your sudden boldness came from the previous five shots you've taken, or if it was the unbearable tension between the two of you, but you held out your hand for him to take. He looks down, almost immediately lacing his fingers with yours. You felt heat rise to your cheeks from his touch, loving the way his hand felt in yours.

"Do you wanna, maybe, go upstairs?" You ask him in the most confident way you could muster up.

A look of shock flashes through his eyes, but is quickly replaced with lust and desire. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip and gave your hand a slight squeeze. "Lead the way."

Your heart skipped a beat as you nodded, leading in front of him with your hands still intertwined. You knew it was too crowded and people were too drunken to even think of looking for you and Pedro, so you thought this was the perfect opportunity. You lead him up the steps to your bedroom, stopping before the door. You unlaced your fingers from his and opened the mahogany wooden door, stepping inside and he follows suit. You shut the door softly and lock it, just in case.

Your nerves return again as you face him, the full moon beaming into your large-windowed room. The moonlight hit his face perfectly, showing off all of his handsome features.

"So." You began, feeling a bit awkward again. Pedro chuckled at your shyness. He thought it was cute how flustered he made you.

"Do I make you nervous, mama?" He asked, his voice low bedroom voice immediately taking effect. Holy fuck.

You gulped at the pet name, feeling your core heat up even more than it already was. You were pretty sure if he even touched you, you'd orgasm. "Wh-what?" You whisper, losing all of your cool in that moment.

"I said," Pedro steps toward you, towering over you once more, "Do I make you nervous," he leans down to your ear, "mama?"

You couldn't hold it in anymore. You groaned at the pet name, looking up at him pleadingly. He got his answer right then and there, closing the space between the two of you. One of his hands firmly grasped on your hip, the other flush against the small of your back. His brown eyes bored into yours, and you were left wanting, waiting, anticipating.

"Well? What do you want me to do, cariña?" His breath was a mix of mint and the whiskey he was sipping on. He tilted his head, looking at you expectedly.

"Kiss me, please." Your voice was barely above a whisper, but Pedro wasted no time. He closed the distance between you two, finally encapturing your lips with his. You both moan into the kiss, fervor running through the course of your entire being. His kiss was gentle, yet so passionate. Your hands found their way into his hair, tugging slightly which caused him to moan into your mouth. He pulled away from you slowly, cupping one of your cheeks while moving his thumb back and forth, breathing staggered.

Your chest rose and fell rapidly, searching his eyes for any hint that he wanted to stop. There were none.

"Get on the bed," He demands, his eyes watching you as you moved past him and sauntered to your bed, clad in satin sheets. He smirked to himself as he noticed the sheets. "Fancy." He tilts his head toward the sheets, moving to you. You sat upright on the bed, arms straight behind you to hold you up.

He knelt down on one knee and if your dress wasn't on, he'd be eye level with your core. The thought of that made you dripping wet. You bit your lip as he moved his hands to unbuckle the straps of your heels you had on, kissing you right below the inside of your knee on both legs before he dropped your heels to the floor.

He stood up to look down at you, admiring you laid out on the huge bed.

"My god, mama, you're so beautiful." He rasps, unbuttoning his jacket. You quiver at the sound of his voice, becoming more needy as the seconds go by. He moved himself so he could lean over you, one knee between your thighs. He grabs the fabric of your dress from the bottom, sliding the material up your freshly-shaven and lotioned legs. He stops moving the dress up when it was around your hips, and his vision was now met with the black lace thong you had on, which was now soaked. He looks at you for approval, and once you gave him the okay to touch you, he moved his head down between your thighs.

He started to kiss in between your thighs, lightly biting the same spots he kissed which made you yelp in surprise. Pedro smirked at the sound, continuing the journey of his mouth to reach your core. He kissed you through your panties, making you moan loudly. You were glad the doors in your house were heavy and the music downstairs was blasting, because quite frankly you didn't need nosey people knowing you were about to get fucked by one of the hottest men you've ever laid your eyes on.

Pedro moves his hands to hook into the sides of your panties, tapping the sides of your hips. You raise your hips so he can slide them off of your body. He tosses them to the side of him on the floor, grabbing your hips and dragging you to the edge of the bed. He was on his knees at the foot of your bed, mouth salivating as he took the sight of your glistening core in.

"You're this wet and I haven't even touched you yet, cariña. What am I going to do with you?" Pedro was dragging out the teasing, and he knew you wanted his touch so bad. He wasn't helping his case either, because he needed sweet release from his pants that seemed to get tighter around him every minute that passed.

"Fuck me. That's what you should do." You retort, and that was enough to make him lowly growl and move back down between your thighs. He finally kissed your core and started lapping away, his mustache and beard immediately covered by your wetness. His skilled tongue felt heavenly against you. You couldn't help but start writhing once he pulled his tongue away, sliding two fingers into you. He wanted to see you lose it over his touch, and my god, were you the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

He moved his mouth back down, lapping you up once more. The sound of him eating you out and your moans, which were getting louder, echoed throughout the room. You felt a burning desire in the depths of your core, knowing you were close to a sweet release.

"'M gonna cum, oh, fuck." You cursed aloud, your legs starting to stiffen.

"That's it mama, just for me," Pedro coaxed you, his fingers moving at an even faster pace, curling inside of you. You convulsed around him on his command, your head spinning as your orgasm ripped through you. You cried out, your thighs pinching together at the overwhelming high you just experienced.

No one has ever made you come like that.

Though you were still shaky, you stood up and reached toward Pedro to unbutton his shirt. You moved the soft material down his toned, tan arms, admiring the view just as he'd done to you earlier.

"You're so handsome." You wrap your hands around the back of his neck, bringing him closer to you. He smiles softly at your compliment, dipping his head down so his lips met yours. You kissed him with all the passion you held, wanting him to know just how much you wanted him without saying a word. You tasted yourself on his tongue and could feel how soaked his beard really was.

You turn him around and gently push him onto the bed. He stares up at you as you slowly take your dress off, letting it pool around your feet on the floor. You didn't happen to be wearing a bra with the dress, so you were now completely naked.

Pedro groaned in lustful agony at the sight of you, resting his forehead on your stomach as he wrapped his hands around the back of your thighs. He kissed your stomach softly, almost pouting when you moved back from him.

"It's my turn to take care of you." You purred, causing his eyes to widen. You pushed his shoulders down gently, but with enough force to assert some sort of dominance.

You loved being a switch and loved the fact that Pedro was letting you be one.

Your nimble fingers move to Pedro's belt buckle, getting it undone in a swift manner. You unbuttoned his pants, moving the zipper down and he immediately lifts his hips so you can get his pants off of him. He moans at the sweet release from his pants, just aching to be touched by you.

You swallowed thickly once more as you looked down at his briefs, his bulge as clear as day. A surge of confidence washed over you, knowing that you turned him on like that.

You reached up to rest one hand by his head, the other one reaching down toward his briefs. You began to palm him, multiple low groans escaping from his mouth.

"Fuck, I need that pretty mouth of yours already." He whimpered, grabbing a fistful of your hair. You finally decided to stop your teasing and relieve him of his misery. Grabbing his briefs in your hands, you pulled them all the way down and tossed them onto the floor with the rest of your guys' clothing. You stared down at the beautiful man in front of you, naked and clearly unafraid. You were basking in the sight, wondering how the hell you even got to this point in the first place.

You gently grabbed him in your hand, pumping his length slowly. Your thumb ran over the tip, making him hiss in pleasure. You smiled at his reaction as you brought the tip of his length to your mouth, kissing it once, then swirling your tongue slowly-- teasingly.

You ran your tongue down the bottom, going slow enough to have Pedro squirming underneath you.

"Please, y/n," He begged, breathless, "I need to be inside that pretty mouth." That was enough to make your bones jump. Hearing him say your name like that made you want to do unspeakable things with this man.

Relaxing your jaw, you took his full length into your mouth, moving your head up and down at a steady pace.

"That's it, mama, right there," Pedro praises, making you moan against him. "Just like that." His voice was strangled, and when you licked a bold stripe up his protruding vein that was on his length, he gripped your hair tighter and let out a loud moan.

"Fuck, you're so good at this," You picked up the pace, using your hand where your mouth couldn't fit. "Fuck, y/n, princess, I'm close." You felt the tip hit the back of your throat, and that sent him completely over the edge. He cried out your name as he came, feeling the warm liquid shoot down your throat.

You swallowed after he was done, wiping a dribble that got onto your chin.

"That was so fucking hot," Pedro looked at you, breathlessly. "C'mere." You moved up to him and he gave you a rather needy kiss.

"On your knees, princess." He smirked, and you did as you were told. He drank in the delicious sight before him-- your ass up, waiting for him to absolutely demolish you. You got butterflies just thinking about how you'd feel around him.

Pedro stood on his knees behind you, kissing the lower middle of your back before smacking your ass. You gasped at the unexpected contact, but that just made your core clench with excitement. He grabbed onto your hips, steadying you as you felt his length rub up against your ass.

"Are you ready, mama?" He coaxed, fingers digging into your hips slightly. You felt yourself tremble with excitement, barely being able to form any words.

"Yes," you're breathless, anxious and needy. Never in a million years did you think this would become your reality.

You felt one of Pedro's hands leave your hip, taking his length into his own hand as he positioned himself to your entrance. He slowly pushed the tip into you, making you gasp with excitement. You couldn't wait any longer, so you pushed your hips back onto him so he fully sank into your heat.

Groans left both of you, you getting used to his length and him getting used to your tightness. You stayed still for a full second to fully adjust to each other, and then he started to move. Really move.

Your breath almost got knocked out from your lungs as he slid backwards, then came back forward full force.

"Fuck," you gasp, gripping onto the satin beneath your fingers. You grit your teeth with how much he filled your wanting, aching heat, hitting just the right angles as he began to thrust even faster. You started to catch onto his rhythm, moving your hips back with force.

The sound of skin on skin slapping harshly rang throughout the room, moans and groans slipping from both of you. Pedro moved his hand, sliding it up the front of your body, finding its way to your neck. He spread his fingers out, so he had a tight grip on either side of your throat.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

He used the hand wrapped around your throat to coax your body upwards, so your back was against his chest. His hot, staggered breaths met your ear, making you moan. He moved his other free hand off of your hip, slipping it between your legs. His fingers started to rub soft circles around your clit, and the stimulation from it all brought back that warm, patronizing heat deep within.

He was absolutely enthralled with the way your body fit so perfectly with him, enjoying the fact that he was going to be the culprit of your undoing soon enough. You just felt so right on him, your pace and movements flowing with him so naturally.

"Fuck, princess, you feel so good," He groans into your ear, his hands simultaneously tightening around your throat and working at your clit faster. You knew you were done for, and all you could do was just let yourself enjoy the ride... literally.

His thrusts started to become sloppy and his breath was so rigid and uneven, he could barely hold on much longer himself.

"Cum for me, mi amor." He groaned, and his voice was enough to tip you over the edge, once more. That white, hot feeling in the pit of your core exploded, ripping through you once more as you moaned his name so loudly, not really giving a fuck if any of the party guests could hear you riding out your orgasm.

He slipped out of you and seconds later, you felt warm liquid spurting onto your backside as a string of profanities left his mouth. You slumped down onto your bed, completely spent and out of breath. You heard him get up from the bed, walking to the left of your room where the bathroom happened to be. He returned shortly after, cleaning up your backside with a towel before laying down next to you.

You peered up at him, brown eyes already looking back at you. He was trying to steady his breath, hand reaching up to move the hair from your face.

"That was," you trailed off, letting your lungs catch up on the air they were lacking, "So fucking amazing." You said timidly, suddenly feeling shy. All that you could think about in that moment was that Pedro Pascal was literally in your bed. What the fuck?

"It was," He chuckled, reaching his hand out to your chin so he could tilt it up, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. "You did so well, mama. So tell me... now that you've been fucked by your celebrity crush, will you go out on a date with him, too?"

Your eyes widen in horror, feeling embarrassed that he actually heard about your confession. You groan and bury your face in your hands, making him chuckle.

"Of course I'll go out on a date with him." You laugh, uncovering your face. He grins, taking one of your hands and kissing the back of it.

You're both so enthralled with each other that you almost don't even hear the knock on your bedroom door.

"Y/n, are you in there? We want to sing happy birthday to you!" Y/b/f/n called through the door, her voice muffled.

"Just a second!" You yell in a panic, scrambling off the bed as you go to pick up your dress. Pedro is slightly amused, watching you slip the long gown back on over your body. He gets up and dressed, only taking a couple of minutes.

"Can you zip me up?" You ask him, turning your back toward him so he can easily access the zipper to your dress. You feel his warm hands trail down your back, sending a shiver down your spine. He zips you up slowly, loving the feeling of your hot skin beneath his fingertips. He kisses your shoulder once you're zipped up, and you turn back around to face him. He looks down at the floor, suddenly noticing your lacy underwear at the bottom of his feet.

He bends down to pick them up, not even bothering to hand them over to you. He stuffs them in the back pocket of his pants, giving you a cheeky grin. He leans down to your ear, pressing a feather-like kiss onto it.

"C'mon birthday girl, let's go celebrate you some more." He whispers, kissing you beneath your ear this time. He spins you around and ushers you to the door after you check your hair and makeup.

You totally look freshly fucked, and quite frankly, so does he. You really didn't care, though, because you were feeling so euphoric at tonight's events altogether.

Best. Birthday Ever.

#pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal one shot

717 notes · View notes

hauntedrain · 5 months

Text

part 5: For Our Own Sanity | Alex Turner x Fem! Reader |

Social media AU Summary: Alex and readers relationship turns public after a series of events

✰▹Warnings/Notices: Age gap, highly unrealistic album set up. Not edited. last part!

liked by TaylorSwift, AlexTurner, & 40,456,465 others

@Y/N: Look what you made me do! Reputation out now on all platforms, love you guys <3

user1: I CLAIM CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT RN.

user2: okay lovely album. BUT 2ND SLIDE. EXPLAIN.

↪ user3: Alex. Alex. Alex.

↪ user4: He's laterally dating the girl he posted on his story, not Y/N.

AlexTurner: Amazing album x

Liked by Y/N

↪ user5: FATHER COMMENTED

user7: parents.

user8: Is this the end of all the endings? / My broken bones are mending / with all these nights we're spending. OH IM SCREAMING.

liked by 4,234,564 others

@Y/Nupdates: Y/N tonight on Jimmy Fallon - The tonight Show! Y/N during her time on the show talks about her leaving and writing about the album + her writing songs with and for the Arctic Monkeys.

user9: SHES SO PRETTY omfg.

user10: Okay but her shading milo and his gf over their FAKE comments and story is amazing.

↪ user11: Their interview and everything they posted about it has been deleted.

↪ user12: Karma works hard but Y/N works harder!

User13: okay everything aside who is the love songs about.

↪ user14: EXACTLY! If its not Alex shes dating then WHO! cuz most of the songs are simply someone loving her DISPITE her bad reputation.

Alex turner has posted to their story!

captioned: Ready for it...?

liked by 42,246,345 others

@Y/N: I tired black hair for a bit but the blonde looks a bit more delicate, isn't it? Also peep the MV

user15: THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE OMG.

user16: Seeing you with black hair kinda scares me

user17: Delicate music video?

↪ user18: Nah its defo TIWWCHNT.

↪ user19: I vote LWYMMD.

user20: WAIT.

↪ user21: BLACK HAIR. STORY. ALEX TURNER. Y/N?

↪user22: OMFG IT COULD HAVE BEEN Y/N.

liked by 12,345,678 others

@Alexturnerupdates: The Arctic Monkeys perform their last show in the US with Y/N L/N! This is her first appearance in the tour so far, and her first appearance on stage since her last album's tour over 2 years ago. she also sung a few songs from her new album "Reputation".

User23: The way I fucking SCREAMED.

user24: Can we talk about when Alex was singing "I wanna be yours" AND HE WAS STARRING AT Y/N?

↪ user25: OR WHEN SHE SUNG "SLUT" AND "KING OF MY HEART" AND SHE STARRED AT HIM.

↪ user26: for our own sanity, please we need confirmation rn or else!

user27: I appreciate the fact that the best quality pic is of Y/N.

user28: Alex the flower princess ong.

tagged: @Alexturner

liked by 50,345,345 others

@Y/N: All eyes on you, my magician. All eyes on us.

user29: FINALLY. WAR. IS. OVER.

user30: ALL THE SONGS ARE SUDDENLY WRITTEN ABOUT ALEX HUH?

user31: Both are glowing.

AlexTurner: ~ you make everyone disappear.

↪ user32: THE LYRICS AWWW

↪ user33: honestly even with all the signs, I'm still surprised.

liked by 13,356,128

@Alexturner: king of your heart yea?

user34: I CANT.

user35: my roman empire. MINE.

user36: PLZ Y/N STANDING THERE. LMFAO.

Y/N: the taste of your lips is my idea of luxury.

↪ user37: crying.

user38: If you look closely you can see my sitting in the middle of a highway.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ taglist: @mathdebate00 @ouroboros311 @joannfabrics @tangointhequango

⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: This is the end! Loved making this and thought about making it longer, however I didnt wanna drag on the story. But Im open for requests and ideas for fics. Love you guys and I hope you liked it.

#alex turner fluff #alex turner x reader #alex turner fic #alex turner imagine #alex turner fanfic #alex turner #arctic monkeys #fanfic #alex turner x y/n #alex turner x you #alex turner x oc #x reader #social media #social media au #smau

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lastweeksshirttonight · 10 months

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Did you want my notes on Strike Force Five episode one? No? TOO BAD! YOU'RE GETTING THEM!

(Heavy spoilers for episode 1 if you plan on listening soon!)

- I love the show's overall vibe and the "roles" that all of the guys play. It's definitely a free-wheeling, off the rails kind of show, where everyone is rambling over each other; the personalities involved can make or break this kind of podcast, and everyone thankfully is playing to their strengths.

Kimmel serves as the overall show runner and is seemingly the only one endeavoring to keep anything on track, which is a slightly thankless job with this group, but he's got a soundboard and all his radio experience guiding him. Colbert also leans into being the other "elder statesman", as it were, but is much easier to derail (and provides his own episode eclipsing derail I'll talk about later). Fallon is surprisingly reserved and a bit awkward - I'm not the hugest fan of Fallon, but in this podcast, that energy serves him pretty well. Kimmel introduces Seth as "the cute one" and he seems the most neutral so far, just there to ask questions and crack jokes. And John is their super sarcastic "evil teammate" who occasionally interjects to just destroy everyone. Perfect dynamics, 10/10, no notes.

- Seth qualifies his eyes as ocean blue. John says they're Gatorade blue. I don't think I've ever laughed harder at a description of someone's eyes.

- There's a point where I assume there must have been a really blunt edit, because Fallon changes the topic abruptly to having a doctorate. Otherwise, I love the image of Fallon just sitting on that revelation and WAITING, BURSTING to talk about how he has a doctorate, while everyone else talks about Kimmel getting paid summers off.

- Everyone mention multiple times that they have sponsors and are doing this show to help pay their staff during the strikes, which is lovely. This does not mean they aren't taking the piss out of their sponsors. I never thought I'd hear worse ad copy reading than I do on The Jeff Gerstmann Show (I love Jeff, don't get me wrong, but his ad copy screaming is hilariously bad), but the Casamigos ad in this is something else. John spends most of his reading time shitting on a bleeped-out competitor that he calls "not fit for human consumption", Stephen says "you're gonna wanna wipe your ass with it" and likens it to the smoothness of sheets you make love on, there's a disembodied "woo" at some point, Seth stumbles all over a few Spanish words, and Fallon delivers his lines in his awful fake French Timothee Chalamet puppet voice. It's pure chaos and I love it so much.

- Kimmel referring to "the despicable Matt Damon" made me so happy.

- John has never done a deposition. Kimmel saying "I'm surprised you're not in prison" gets lost which is sad, that's a fucking hilarious joke.

- Fallon tells an amazing story about his mom being a nun for a week. She left after being reprimanded for taking Lifesavers into the nunnery and then left. My late aunt and best friend, who was also a nun, probably would have loved Jimmy's mom, as she was always going on wine tastings and picked the order she joined entirely based on who would let her continue to drink after taking her vows. Jimmy also has a picture of his mom dressed as a nun holding a doll dressed as a nun, which is absurd and adorable.

- This leads to everyone but Seth confessing that they'd all thought about becoming priests at some point. That doesn't shock me about Stephen at all, tbf, knowing how religious he is.

- I have to shamefully admit that when John mentioned that he told his father he wanted to be a vicar, my brain went to an extremely Fleabag place and I had to rewind the podcast once I snapped out of it and realized I'd missed like 3 minutes of jokes (including a fantastic one from Seth about John having a doll of himself as a child, like Fallon's mom's nun doll).

- "Don't you want a whole new crop of relatives to visit and entertain?" "Do you wanna get cancelled?! :D" The two Jimmys everyone.

- Stephen reveals who he has everyone saved as in his phone, to prevent people from figuring out who his contacts are if his phone gets stolen. John's is Joliver, which 1) was his name as written on TDS scripts to differentiate him from Jon Stewart, and 2) as everyone points out, is a VERY easy code to crack. Don't really need Sherlock for that one.

- ONE OF US ALERT: Stephen collects weird late night shit, like a hat from The Chevy Chase Show (John literally goes "WOW") and a silk jacket from The Pat Sajak Show. I am very jealous of this collection.

- Next episode everyone will talk about first episodes. I cannot wait to hear John talk about how all over the place his first episode is.

- The big story, running joke, and completely wild admission from this episode - Stephen Colbert has a pair of Nicaraguan dictator Anastasio Somoza's pants. Fallon asks how no one outbid him, and it turns out his MOTHER had them BECAUSE SHE DATED HIM. His uncle went to LaSalle Military Academy with Somoza, and Somoza stayed with them during holiday breaks. Everyone else in the room picks up on the idea that Stephen's mom probably slept with a dictator (or as Kimmel says, "made love to a murderer"), Seth claims his mom drinks coffee out of Ferdinand Marcos' skull, and every other male figure Stephen brings up for the rest of the episode is assumed to be someone his mom slept with.

If you asked me before listening to this podcast if I thought there were going to be a pile of elevated "your mom" jokes holding it together, I would have pretty strongly said "no". Surprises at every turn in this pod.

The beginning of this story also captures John SO STRONGLY, and he wants to hear everything about it. Definite Bugle vibes there, this man will never not want to hear about weird dictator facts. He also manages to completely kill Seth by saying "Anastasio Somoza's pants, brought to you by Casamigos".

- Finally, I have already sent an email to the show asking about Planet of the Bass, to make up for my complete failure to ask at the Q&A. I got y'all, we'll get this answer some day.

#strike force five #john oliver #seth meyers #stephen colbert #jimmy kimmel #jimmy fallon #literally wrote this at work so apologies for its complete lack of coherence #but spotify you ✨️fucks✨️

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supercalifragipopculturevomit · 5 months

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BLOOPERS: Burnt Cast x Today Interview (2015) This blooper cut always has me in stitches. It reminds me of those times you're hanging out with friends and it hits that hour—usually around 4 AM—when you're all sleepy and exhausted but y'all still don't want the night to end and this shared but unspoken agreement to carry on makes everyone loopy and suddenly everything—and I mean EVERYTHING—just triggers a fit of giggles. Childhood trauma? Hilarious.

Here's the main highlight of the video:

Daniel giving his best swan with that ridiculous pornstache—what more could you want? p.s. Bradley Cooper has another interview he could barely get through in a similar fashion, this time with Jimmy Fallon. Not the biggest fan of Fallon and his fake laugh but this one's legit. I was crying with laughter the first time I saw it.

#daniel brühl #tony balerdi #burnt #bradley cooper #sienna miller #interview #blooper #video #my gif

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somewannabez-lister · 1 year

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Hiding the Truth

Summary: Y/N was dating Tom Holland until all of the hate comments starting causing a drift which led to their very public break up. Soon after their break up Y/N started writing music, thinking of it as an outlet. She released her music faceless as ‘Ella Raine’ not wanting people to judge her based on her relationship with Tom. What she didn’t expect was for her music to connect to people all over the world. After working on herself over the next two years she is finally ready to reveal her face to the world, but what will happen when she gets an unexpected text from Tom?

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader (famous!reader)

Warnings: References to Lexi Jayde’s ‘closer to closure’ album (does this count as a warning?), slight angst- not really though, fluffy ending

Word count: 2.2k

“Welcome back from the break everyone!” you heard Jimmy Fallon say through your macbook before he announces the next guest. “Tonight we have a very special guest, who just released her debut album ‘closer to closure’, please welcome Ella Raine through zoom!” Jimmy had finally announced you as the next guest as you were laying in bed waiting to say hello.

“Hey Jimmy! Thanks so much for having me on the show.” Being a popular singer, but having nobody know the face behind the music definitely has its perks. For example, you are easily being able to have a meeting with Jimmy Fallon while in you pajamas while laying in bed.

“Ella it is so wonderful having you on the show! Even though we aren’t able to see the face behind all of our favorite songs, we are so grateful that you were willing to be on the show virtually tonight.” Jimmy was being extremely kind and thoughtful of your wishes not to show your face until you were ready. “Thank you Jimmy, that honestly means so much more than you could ever know.” “Yes of course! Well you have obviously accomplished so much in the two years that you have been creating music for us and you have gained so many fans over such little time. How has that process really been for you?”

You thought about this question and what the best way to answer it would be. “It has been quite overwhelming to be honest. When I started releasing my music I was very insecure because people made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, but over these last two years I have been really working on myself and my confidence and I feel the best I have ever felt in my life and it is all from the support of my fans.” You had never been so vulnerable with anyone other than close friends and family so this was a really big step for you.

“Thank you so much for sharing that Ella. We all appreciate you opening up. As you have revealed on your Instagram, you are revealing your face after two years behind closed doors. What helped you decide that it was time to take this huge step in your career?” This was a big question and you were going to be very honest with all of your fans because you think it is time that you share bigger details about your personal life. “I used to be in the eyes of the media a lot believe it or not. I used to date someone that is in the public eye pretty much everyday. I started getting a lot of hate from his fans saying I was “too skinny” or that “I wasn’t good enough for him”. That obviously didn’t make me feel good about myself. Over these two years I have learned that you shouldn’t care what other people think about you because they aren’t even major players in your game. If they don’t make you happy, then what is the point of wasting any time and energy on them. I have truly found my confidence and so I am completely ready to show my face to the world.”

“Wow, that is incredible. You have just revealed that people already know what you look like, but they haven’t put your face to you name.” “Yes, although I have been using a fake name for all of my music so that people wouldn’t judge me off of who they think I am. I also look very different than I did two years ago from working out, to experimenting with different hairstyles. I feel a lot better about myself now though. I really don’t think anybody will be able to tell who I am once I show my face unless I tell everyone my actual name.”

“You are really giving us a lot of information right now and I don’t know how much more I can take!” Everyone began laughing. “Yes, well I am done sharing my personal details until I do my face reveal which will be happening on Friday!”

This news shocked everyone. You had told everyone that you would be face revealing sometime within the next week, but nobody knew that it was on Friday. “That is two days from now!” You laughed at Jimmy’s exclamation. “Yes, but I really can’t put it off any longer! Until then though, you guys can stream my album ‘closer to closure’ on all streaming platforms!”

“Wow, well thank you so much for coming on the show Ella. Ella Raine everybody!” After saying your goodbyes, you shut you macbook and checked the time. It was almost 10 pm so you decided to get a snack and get ready for bed.

Just as you were about to get up, you got a text message from your ex boyfriend. You haven’t talked to him in over two years, since the break up. You were extremely confused as to why he would be texting you this late on a Wednesday after not speaking for over two years.

Tom

Hey, I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I was listening to Ella Raine today and this song reminded me of you. Song: Drunk Text Me

This was the last thing you expected from Tom. He just sent you a song that you wrote about him, but he didn’t know that. Suddenly, your snack seemed significantly irrelevant. You decided that you wanted to respond, but you didn’t know what to say. You obviously missed Tom. He wasn’t the reason your relationship crashed and burned. Should you just tell him the truth? “Hey Tom, yea that song reminds me of you too- oh why? Because I wrote it! About you! Isn’t that just so hilarious! Like the Charlie Puth song! hahaha”

Yea no- you couldn’t tell him. You will just respond as if you’ve never heard the song before! Yea, that’s it!

Y/N

Hey Tom, it has been a while since we’ve talked. I’ve never heard of that song or artist before, but I will be sure to listen to the song. :)

Oh no, was the smiley face to much? Should you have sent that? Are you freaking out over nothing? Probably- right?

Tom

...

He’s typing again? He wants to have a conversation? Does that mean he misses me? That’s great!- well now super great, but good, yea good.

I can’t believe you haven’t heard of her. She’s as big as Taylor Swift now!

Wait- that’s not why i’m texting you. I’m texting you because I wanted to know if we could meet up sometime soon.

Did he really just ask you to hang out?

Only because I want that one hoodie that you kept of mine of course!

You knew it was too good to be true.

Y/N

Yea, of course you can have your hoodie back. Do you want to come over and get it tomorrow? I still live in the same apartment.

You. Just. Invited. Your. Ex. Over. What were you thinking?! You obviously weren’t.

Tom

Yea! That sounds great. See you then. :)

Okay Tom was coming to your apartment tomorrow. What’s the worst that could- oh. Oh no. He doesn’t know that you changed your look. You wanted a clean slate and now your ex boyfriend was going to know that Y/N L/N is Ella Raine after Friday.

What did you do Y/N?

------------------------

It was now Thursday afternoon and you were waiting for Tom to show up at your apartment. You had no idea what was about to happen, but you had to prepare yourself for every scenario possible.

Before you got to practice even one scenario, he was here. Yippee! No time to study. Just like a pop quiz!

You opened your door to let Tom in. He was facing the other way so all you saw was the back of his head. Once he heard the door open, he swung around quickly and saw your face.

“Y/N? Is that you?”

You were surprised that even Tom barely recognized you.

“In the flesh.” Tom just continued staring at you in astonishment. He didn’t know how to react with you standing in front of him. You had definitely changed since he’d seen you last and for the better. Tom thought you were stunning before and he did not think you could look better, but you proved him wrong.

“uh- Tom?” He was suddenly knocked out of his stunned state.

“Oh- yes, uhm sorry. Hi.” he stated shyly.

“Hi”, you said with a slight smile. “Uhm come on in!”

“Yea, thanks.” You both walked into your kitchen where Tom’s hoodie was sitting on the counter. You both stood there in awkward silence not knowing what to say or do.

“So, uh- here is your hoodie back. Sorry for keeping it for so long. I didn’t know you wanted it back since you gave it to me.”

“No, Y/N. I’m sorry, I don’t really want the hoodie back. I texted you because I miss you and I haven’t been able to move on since we’ve broken up. I simply can’t get over you. I keep going on all of these dates, but they never work out because I always compare all of those girls to you. You have set the bar so high in my mind that there is literally nobody that could be my girlfriend better than you could. I know that with our relationship being so public and all of my fans attacking you for being with me it was really difficult, but I think we can make it work this time.”

You were honestly speechless. You obviously wanted to get back together with him, but with you being Ella Raine and him not knowing that made things a lot more difficult. Your face reveal was tomorrow, so if you just told him who you were now and got back together, everyone would just think that Ella Raine and Tom Holland were dating right? Nobody would draw the connection between Y/N L/N and Ella Raine- right?

“Sorry, I know this is a lot and I shouldn’t have just word vomitted all of me feelings up right now, but I really just needed to tell you.”

“I have something going on right now that is making us get back together really difficult right now.”

“Uhm okay well what is it? Maybe we could work around it.”

You really didn’t want to confuse things with him right now. You really want to get back together, but he needs to know the truth before you do that.

“Do you think you could come back tomorrow at 4?”

Tom looked as if he was thinking very hard.

“Well Ella Raine is doing her face reveal at 3 and I don’t know how long that is going to take-” he murmurs to himself under his breath. “I think so- I will try my best.” He softly smiles at me.

-------------------------------------

It was finally Friday. The day of the reveal. You were very excited, overwhelmed, and worried all at the same time. What would Tom think once he knows that you are Ella Raine?

You’re doing a live stream at 3 to do your face reveal, so that left you just under 2 hours to get ready. So, you headed to the bathroom to get your hair, makeup, and outfit done.

It was 10 ‘till 3 and you were setting everything up. You had no idea how many people were going to join this stream, or if it was even going to work.

It was now time to start and everything was in place, so you were just going to go for it.

*ellaraine has started a live stream*

Your face was now officially out there for the world to see. “Hey everyone! Welcome into my first livestream as a non-faceless singer.” You giggled.

Comments instantly started flooding in.

+ Wait-- why is she actually stunning

+ Guys... I did not expect her to be this pretty...

Suddenly... *tomholland2013 has joined*

This is it. This is the moment Tom finds out you’re Ella Raine.

Tom’s POV

It was finally 3.00 on Friday afternoon, meaning I get to see what Ella Raine looks like. When I tried joining the live it was connecting for a few minutes before I was finally let in.

I covered my eyes because I wasn’t ready to see what my favorite singer looks like. Once I uncovered them I saw the best thing that I could have possibly seen. I saw Y/N on the other side of the screen. Now I understand why she wanted to wait until today to talk. It all makes sense now.

Narrator’s POV

You received very positive comments from your live stream and you were very happy with the results. The moment you shut off your live, you heard a banging at your door. Once the door opened and revealed Tom standing on the other side, he immediately stepped towards you and kissed you gently. You were startled at first, but then began kissing back.

Once the both of you pulled away, Tom said, “I’m ready to get back together with you and people don’t have to know that you’re Y/N until you’re ready, but I want you back in my life, as my girlfriend that is. You laughed at his forwardness, but then pulled him back into a kiss to show him that you agree.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland and y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland fic #tom holland x ex!reader #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction

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tommydarlings · 2 years

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❝ You looking for trouble? You came to the right place! ❞

My Requests are open! ✉ I will update it everytime as soon as i post and my fics will be listed from oldest ( top ) to newest ( bottom)! ✍

Every single one is x female reader but of course everyone is welcome here ⚤

Smut ➯ everyone is there then aged up to 18 or + ☮

main masterlist <3

Who am I writing about?: Austin Butler ❣

What for kind of fics will i write?: fluff, angst & smut ❣ ✧

Join my taglist here ✧ prompt list’s ✧

my ko-fi to support me! ✧ my PayPal to support me! ✧ my Patreon to become a member!

If my 'support me' links shouldn’t be working, please click here! ✧ Why am I doing Patreon?

kinkmas masterlist ;)

PLEASE READ </3 | HELP OTHERS!!!

Enjoy reading and stay safe, ily liz <3 🎬

key:

☁ = fluff ☯ = angst ♡ = smut ✰ = favorite ♫ = song

─ 𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐑 ─

˗ ˏ O N E S H O T S ˎ ˗

do i wanna know? | ♡ ♫ [1.2k]

Summary: You really didn't wanted to repeat the toxic realitionship you had with your ex boyfriend austin butler but let's be honest, how could you resist him when he's fucking you so good?

angel | ♡ ☁️ [1.8k]

Summary: It was austin's and yours one year anniversary, so when you give him a hoddie with a picture of you where you look like an angel, he decides to fuck you like one.

teacher‘s pet | ♡ ♫ [2.1k]

Summary: you knew that fucking your teacher was against the rules, so you hoped that your religion teacher was able to fuck some sense into you.

33 minutes of heaven | ♡ ☁️ [1.4k]

Summary: your boyfriend isn’t happy with the fact that you’ve been faking your orgasms so he proves you that he can make you cum until you physically and mentally can’t anymore, with a little twist at the end.

Die for you | ♡ ♫ [2.1k] // full work on patreon - [3.3k]

Summary: after a risky action of yours, Austin realises that he’s the only one that can teach you some respect and manners, in a very mean and kind of dangerous way.

Lost puppy | ♡ [1.2k]

Summary: you were mad at your fiancé because of the way he’s treating you, like you have no allowance to say anything, so he shows you just how much allowance you got to say something… absolutely none.

Pour it out | ☁️ [1.1k]

Summary: At Jimmy fallon's infamous tonight show, a lot of interesting and funny answers get told, but not all the questions.

Save a horse, ride a cowboy | ☁️ ♡ [1.1k] // full work on patreon - [1.9k]

Summary: 'Save a horse, ride a cowboy' is a saying that’s been in your mind for quite a long time already and you were always able to resist your wild fantasy… until now.

all good things come in threes | ♡ ✰ [2.2k] // full work on patreon - [3.8k]

Summary: After being pulled over — for speeding, by the same cop for two times already, you should have learned your lesson, right? Yeah… you didn’t — and now you've got to face the consequences.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ ˏ S E R I E S ˎ ˗

—

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ ˏ B L U R B S ˎ ˗

pretty princess | ☁ ✰ [0.9k]

Summary: austin is always taking good care of you, especially when your in little space.

only you | ☯ ☁ [0.7k]

Summary: from screaming at each other, to sitting on the counter top with him worshipping your body and kissing you only takes seconds.

marked up angel | ♡ ☁ [0.7k]

Summary: you just wanted him to touch you, you were so touch desperate, but in the end he actually gave you something even better.

Why aren’t you laughing anymore? | ♡ ✰ [0.6k]

Summary: You loved fucking with Austin while he’s trying so hard to make you cum, and he loves winning, seeing your tears and the realisation that you’ve lost.

A&W | ♡✰♫ [0.9k]

Summary: Being nice usually always pays off, but not when you have a very possessive and mean husband who does not like seeing you talking to other guys one bit.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ ˏ I N S T A G R A M A U ’ S ˎ ˗

lil elvis | ☁ (dad!austin)

'till death do us apart | ☁ (husband!austin)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

˗ ˏ tommydarlings thinking about… ˎ ˗

him desperately wanting to fuck you while you are on your period | ☁ ✰

size kink with him | ♡ ☁️

prof!austin fucking student!reader dumb and some sense into her | ♡

#masterlist #austin butler #austin butler ff #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler x reader #austin butler x y/n #austin butler x you #austin butler x fem!reader #austin butler masterlist

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pixiedust0 · 2 years

Text

𝐴 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠

❥𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢 - 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚑𝚜 𝚊𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝙹𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚊 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚎

❥𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 𝟸.𝟶𝙺

❥𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 - 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚒 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜? 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚜.

❥𝙰/𝚗 - 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚡 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝙰 𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚜 (𝙷𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝟺 𝚞). 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚢𝚒 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚐 𝚕𝚘𝚕 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚍𝚘 𝚊 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸 𝚒𝚏 𝚢'𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚓𝚘𝚢.

Masterlist Part two

It had been eight months.

Eight months since Jack lost the love of his life. Eight months since he was truly happy. Eight months since he could get a decent nights sleep. He missed you. Way more than he thought he would.

He thought about you every day. He was a mess. Everyone saw it, urban the most since he lived with him. He hadn’t talked you in almost five months. His choice of course. He told him self he cutting ties and getting a fresh start.

You two have dated for three years and in those three years you did everything together. You had developed an emotional attachment to each other which was understandable. The last time you had spoken was the day his album had released.

It was a short conversation. You shot him a quick Text saying congratulations on the album and he just responded with a thank you. He didn’t even know if you had heard it. He hoped you did most of the song were about you. Hell all of them had something in them that applied to you.

He was getting bigger and the Recognition he deserved but all he think about was how you weren’t by his side. How when he bought his first house you wouldn’t be staying in it with him. Now it was just him and urb. God he missed you.

He will admit it was his fault for the break up. He didn’t even really want to break up. He knew the long you were together the more serious it would get. He wanted kids with you he want marriage. He wanted all of that. He just got scared so he packed all his things and left.

He moved back to Kentucky and you were in New York now. He heard that from urban. He knew you guys kept in contact which he was fine with. Apparently after he left your shared Atlanta apartment you ended up leaving the city as well. When he asked urban why he told him you said ‘𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠’

Which to be fair there were. After the break up his management convinced him (more like made him) start a fake PR relationship. He liked Selena she was nice. He didn’t have any romantic feelings towards her and she didn’t have any towards him. She had actual boyfriend anyway. They had been faked dating for six months.

She was a really famous actress and he was a very popular rapper. There teams thought they just fit. Maybe in hindsight if she didn’t have a boyfriend and he wasn’t still so in love with you they would have. Every time they were forced to go out and be seen in public they mostly talked about you or her boyfriend.

Which one of the times they were walking Jack swore he saw you. He wrote it off on his imagination playing very cruel tricks on him. Fake dating an actress and real dating a musician were two very different things. He missed going to the studio with you. He missed bouncing ideas off of eachother.

He just missed you.

Like right now he was just staring at the ceiling of his hotel room thinking about you. He was in New York filming him co hosting with jimmy Fallon. He didn’t have to be on set for another six hours and he was supposed to be resting but he just couldn’t. A text message on him phone disturb him every more.

He reached over looking at the name on the screen ‘Selena’.

Selena: Hey…you okay?

Jack: Yeah why wouldn’t I be?

Selena: You haven’t seen it then..

Jack: Seen what?

He waited for a few minutes his nerves starting to increase as the three little dots kept appearing and disappearing. Finally she replied with an article from tmz. The headline made his breath catch in his throat.

‘𝑆𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑌／𝑛 𝐿／𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑒𝑥 𝐽𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝐻𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑜𝑤’

You hadn’t made music in a year. Solely because you working on your album and if you finally Put out one song meant there were two more to come before you finally put out the whole thing. He was scared you made a song about him? He was scared about all the things you could have said.

His phone soon flooded with messages and calls from all his team and friends. One stuck out though it was for Urban.

Brother👏🏼: *Location* go see her while you have the chance she lives on the penthouse floor you gotta be buzzed up

He quickly got up grabbing his wallet and phone stuffing it into his pockets. Putting on his shoes, throwing on a hoodie grabbing his keys and walking out the door. He made it to his car and got inside. Grabbing his phone turning on the gps.

You only stayed fifteen minutes way from the hotel. He opened Apple Music and searched your name finding the song. ‘A mess (Happy 4 u)’. You were a mess too? He hadn’t heard your voice in so long. He honestly didn’t cared the whole song you were talking shit about him he just missed hearing you sing.

He knew you wouldn’t be though. You were the kindest person he had even met and you had the biggest heart he had ever seen. You were ridiculously funny and supportive. One of the things he loves about you was how down to earth your were to him you were just so in tune.

He clicked on the song placing his phone in the little stand on the dashboard and took off to your apartment.

Hey!

 Hmm, mmm

As soon as he heard the beat he got nervous. Maybe all this was a mistake he could just show up after eight months. He left he hurt you shit he hurt himself. You deserve so much better he went to turn the car around but it was to late he heard it.

No bad blood but we don't speak

It's been one-hundred-fifty days or twenty-one weeks

Wah-oh

Who's countin' though?

God there it was that beautiful voice he missed so much. You knew exactly how many days since you two had talked? I mean he wasn’t one to talk he did too. To be honest he probably had it broken down to the second. But he would never admit that.

I saw you holdin' hands on New Bond street

She in the same cute tee that you bought me

Wah-oh

She rockin' it though

He wasn’t crazy he did see you. He knew it. It just hit him you like the rest of the world thought him and Selena were together. But he wasn’t he was in love with you.

And you know I'd be lyin' if I said, "I don't feel nothin' at all"

I've been tryna be the bigger person but it's hard when I've been feelin' so small

And nobody knows

I'm still a mess

Oh, since you left

If I can't be happy, happy with you

I'll be happy, happy for you

I guess, no hard feelin's

'Cause love's lookin' good on you

If you're happy I'm happy, I'm happy for you

No you thought he was happy with her? He wasn’t he loved you. He didn’t know how many times he would have to say that. You were happy for him? See that’s that big heart he was talking about.

We fine (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Got my peace sign (in the air, yeah, yeah)

Baby we fine (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

If you're happy I'm happy, I'm happy for you

Don't wanna be sour but it's bittersweet (oh-oh)

A bad taste in my mouth 'cause you're over me (oh-oh)

Wah-oh

Time to let go

Please don't say, "Hi", I don't wanna be rude

She seems so sweet and I'm tryna be cool

Wah-oh-oh-oh-oh

Hold tight all my broken-hearted

And you know I'd be lyin' if I said I don't feel nothin' at all

And I

I'm gon' get my drink on, fix my makeup, ain't got time for bein' emotional

And nobody knows

You thought he was over you? You thought it was time to move on? No you were the love his life he could’ve sworn you are his soulmate. He couldn’t picture life without you and for the last eight months he had to live it with out you and he just couldn’t stomach it anymore.

Jack told him self he could see you writing this song like he was in the room or something. He could see you pacing around listening to the beat over and over again making sure it was perfect. He could just see the crumbled up balls of paper on the ground filled with verses you hated.

He could see you in the bouth recording the way you would squeeze you eyes shut every time you hit a high note. The way you probably walked in there with a salad drenching it in ranch fully planning on eating it. But Your probably ending up throwing it away because it got soggy because you forgot you had it, to busy writing.

You probably ended up ordering yourself a pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust because it was your go to. Which you would also end up drenching in ranch. Another thing he loved about you. You obsession with ranch was almost as big as his.

When I see you walkin' by

(Check, check myself)

Don't wanna look into your eyes

(Protect myself)

'Cause the feelin's never lie

We fine (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Got my peace sign (in the air, yeah, yeah) (oh-oh)

Baby we fine (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

If you're happy I'm happy, I'm happy for you

Once the song ended he could hope but feel sad. Even though the song was about him leaving you and breaking your heart. You had a way with words that made it feel like something else. He could listen to it over and over again just to hear your voice.

He finally reached your apartment and parked his car looking over at his phone seeing multiple missed calls and texts from his team and a text from Selena

Selena: I talked to urban go get your girl lover boy AND DON’T SCREW IT UP THIS TIME!

He got out the car walking in the building and into the the elevator. It was a nice place although he thought it was super fancy he just knew you place was the complete opposite. He looked at the button before his eye’s landed on the one he was looking for. ‘Penthouse’

He saw the little buzz in button and clicked on it after a few seconds he heard you. “Who is it.” You sound even more beautiful than he remembered. Now that might not make sense but it did to him.

“It’s me… it’s Jack.” He was freaking out right now. Was this a mistake? Would you even want to see him? Would you tell him to fuck off and leave you alone? After what felt like an eternity he heard and buzzing noise and the elevator doors closed and began to move taking him to your room.

You buzzed him up.

Once he reached the top floor the doors slowly opened and there you were. You were wearing Nike joggers and small cropped top. Your hair was thrown into a lazy bun and you had on your glasses. Another thing to add to the list you both couldn’t see for shit.

He thought you looked breathtaking. Looking at you was like time slowed and it was just you and him. “Hi” He stepped out of the elevator. The doors closing behind him. The distance between you and him getting shorter. He would began to panic that was until he saw a genuine smile break out across your face. Your dimples on full display. “Hey superstar.”

#imagine #jack #jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jackharlow #fluff #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow fluff #Spotify

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shmowder · 18 days

Text

Memes

Pathologic meme dumps

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

♧

Mixed memes

Talking racoon

Dating adventures of Artemy Burakh

What did I do last night

Been a clown all my life

Straight guy after a beer

Straight girl after a beer

Pasta night in the Burakh household

Gently shake the screen

Immortality? In my polyhedron?

The Oynon news

Artemy taking you on a honeymoon

Food pyramid

Alternative reality memes

Focus in aiming

We outta panacea

Munching Artemy

home sweet home

hammer and chiselling his way

Well well well

Blood pressure

Average night

Clara lore

tastes like home

tastes like rat

Jimmy Fallon show edit

pride month V1

fist fight god

doomes kitten

Stamatin twins

what they use to shower

If Artemy had whatsapp

Coming out

Bad son

Beloved worms kiss kiss

Let's take Ibuprofen

Termites + Clara adventures

Kids eat for free

♧

Fake edited screenshots

Daniil - Bee movie script

Notkin - Future US soldier

Clara - Chicken little

Anna - Inspirational qoute

pride month V2

♧

Community Polls

♧

Which faction do you fall under?

Fuck, Marry, Kill

♧

Lilakh - Agalay x Artemy

How do I taste like

Trying her best

I love them

True love in the air

new fav hobby

Lotta sick people nowadays

culinary artless

Undooming the romance

Make out or strangle with a coat hanger

♧

Burakhovsky - Daniil x Artemy

Not a murderer

Heartfelt gift

Letters from Daniil

Oynon is so weird

Fun Steppe Vacation

My dear Burakh

Wanting to fuck you island

is the bachelor gay

live reaction

first date

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sillygooseassociation · 2 years

Text

The Facts of Life

Request: i'm screaming crying throwing the fuck up about that jason blurb...now that he mentioned another baby i need you to write about telling him he got you pregnant. pretty please?

Description: Recounting the events leading up to this point of your relationship with Jason, your view of how life works changes as you prepare to tell him big news.

Warnings: pregnancy, mentions of fertility issues and miscarriage

Pairing: Jason Sudeikis x reader

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: This ended up being way longer than I thought it would be and I don't know if I even fulfilled the prompt how they would have wanted, but I'm super proud of how this turned out! This was requested as kind of a part 2 to Ignore the Headlines and I ended up combining it with the jsuds x reader of Meeting the Crew. Honestly, I think this could all be a little universe, idk, what would y'all think of that? Anyway, the two connected fics are linked, though you can read this one on its own!

You were always a very logical person. Facts were facts. Plans were plans. Hopes were hopes. It was best to not confuse or combine the three. There were many points in your adulthood that solidified the importance of their separation.

Walking into 30 Rock, the uneasiness in your stomach grew despite your attempt to push it down. It was finally here. Your first day as an intern at NBC hadn’t even officially begun and yet you felt the need to keel over and throw up everything in your stomach. Taking a deep breath, you approach the front desk where you are then directed to the second floor to have your picture taken, then handed a building ID with that same photo printed on it.

After a day of being shown the ropes, you finally received your assignment. All you had ever wanted in life was to work for Saturday Night Live. Since eight years old, you stayed up late every Saturday to watch the show, it was your favorite day of the week. Your love for it didn’t deter as you grew older, it strengthened if anything. From Amy and Tina to Seth and Bill, the new age of cast members kept the legacy alive and well.

So when you were instead assigned to The Tonight Show, a little part of your heart broke. Sure, Jimmy Fallon also helped to carry on the legacy of SNL, but the seemingly fake laugh and cheesy jokes just weren’t what you were hoping for. Hope, it just didn’t work out.

After your intern year, your dreams seemed to be coming true as a position opened up for a Production Assistant on Saturday Night Live. You decided to take your chances, updating your resume with your new year of experience before you submitted your application. No hoping this time, just confident in your abilities, that the hiring team would know you were the best person for the job.

That confidence ended up paying off, being offered the job only two weeks after applying, the email offer saying the NBC family didn’t want to lose you. While you were sure that was pure horseshit automatically included in the drafter letter, you didn’t want to complain. It seemed that everything was working out in your favor, not that you were going to tempt fate by jinxing yourself.

Assigned to cue cards and props, you didn’t often interact with the celebrity guests. To be honest, that didn’t bother you much. You had met a year’s worth of stars while working on Fallon, they were nice enough for the most part. But you were just too excited about your job to worry about the famous people around you. Plus, if you thought about it, none of the hosts or musical guests of the season were particularly exciting to you.

That is, until the fourth week, when Mr. Jason Sudeikis walked into the studio on Monday morning. Jason wasn’t your favorite SNL alum, but he surely was in your top five, and you can’t deny how ridiculously attractive the man is. With your prop responsibilities, your run-ins with Jason were kept to a minimum. And by minimum, you meant a single time in which you spoke to each other when he happened to ask you to pass the sharpie on the other side of the table. You played it super cool, passing the marker to him with a small smile before looking back down to the card you were currently writing lines on, hoping your blush wasn’t too obvious.

It wasn’t until Saturday night that you became quite acquainted with Jason, well more like Jason’s crotch. Staring at his crotch for five minutes as two adults dressed like children harassed him. This situation would have been awkward enough on its own, but with him being dressed in khakis? Your suspicions about a certain size while watching him in khakis on Ted Lasso seemed to be confirmed.

Sitting in a small compartment for five minutes, only busy when handing Jason his two props, you decided to close your eyes in an attempt to ignore the view you had. That decision failed, not being able to do it for even thirty seconds. Trying to distract yourself, you thought of your plan for the rest of the evening: finish the show, clean up all the cue cards and get them in their room, head to the subway for your ride home, eat something when you get to your apartment and then head to bed, all before you then come back to 30 Rock the next day.

After a helpful host, a dirty accidental joke made by said host, and the episode coming to an end, you made your way to the card room. Less boring than it sounds, the room is lined with shelves holding every single cue card in Saturday Night Live history. The nerd in you feels like combusting every time you’re in this room. Hearing a light knock on the door, you turn to see Jason leaning on the door frame, a bashful smile on his face as you make eye contact.

“Hey, Y/N.” Hearing him say your name, you drop the stack of cards you’re holding, muttering under your breath as you reach down to grab them “Fuck.” Jason chuckles, walking closer as you stand back up, putting the stack in their spot on the shelf before turning back to him, “Am I really that horrible? I make you curse and drop things?” You shake your head and chuckle in response, looking down at the floor nervously, “No, you’re not horrible. Just didn’t expect you to know my name.”

Jason gives you a confused look as if you were completely stupid for even suggesting such a thing, “Of course I know your name. I’d be a piece of shit if I didn’t ask the name of someone staring at my dick for five minutes.” You laugh heartily, relaxing a bit as you round the table in between you two to lean against it next to where he stands. “Good to know, good to know.”

Jason turns to look at you, a small smile on his face before he looks down at his sneakers, playing with his feet a bit. “Speaking of which, I wanna apologize for that comment I made earlier, I would never mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” You smile at him in thanks, nudging his shoulder lightly with your own, “Thanks but, it's okay, I could tell you didn’t mean anything by it as soon as you realized what you said.”

He chuckles, looking at you with a joking expression, “Um, excuse you, it was totally intentional. I was just making sure you had a good sense of humor. Had to make sure the SNL crew hadn’t lost the spark since I left, ya know?” Giggling as he winks at you, you nod your head, “Ah, totally. I’m sure that’s what happened.”

Jason laughs with a twinkle in his eye, deciding to just go for it, “Really though, I’m sorry. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Definitely don’t want to make a bad impression on anyone.” He pauses, looking down nervously before looking back up at you, wearing an impish smile, “Especially you.”

At that, your face turns as red as the giant dog often known as Clifford, a response that Jason laughs at before moving, standing in front of you as he begins to end a conversation he desperately wants to continue, “Anyway, I gotta get going, don’t wanna keep the old friends waiting. You’re coming to the after-party, right? I’d love to apologize once more over drinks.”

You nod at an embarrassingly quick speed before realizing how desperate you probably look, slowing your nods in an attempt to come off as cool, “Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Jason smiles brightly at your response, walking backwards to the door, never breaking eye contact with you. As a result, he walks into the door frame, and while it definitely hurt his shoulder blade, he would do it a million times over if it meant he got to hear your giggle that came out at his goof up. “Great, I mean, good, um, cool. I’ll make sure to keep an eye out for you.”

So much for planning on heading home after that.

You reorganize the crayon box once more, wanting it to be in perfect rainbow order. But what do you even do with the browns? Do you put them next to red because of their similar darker hues? Or do you go from purple into gray which then goes to brown? And don’t even get you started on white, does it go with the light pinks and purples because they’re all light, or next to the black as the two ends of the color spectrum? Letting out a groan of frustration, you rearrange the order again before feeling someone sit down on the bar stool next to you at the kitchen island.

“Um, baby? You okay?” Turning to Jason in exasperation, your worries aren’t gone but they are surely quieted when seeing the concerned and loving look on his face. “Y-yeah, I’m fine, just want everything to be perfect.” Jason gives you a look that seems to be a cross between compassion and pity, though you know he doesn’t truly pity you. “Y/N, you do know that my children have been to my house before, correct?”

Rolling your eyes, you give him a displeased look though his chuckle in response clearly shows that he’s not taking you seriously, “Yes, Jas, I know that your children have been here before, God. But they haven’t been here before while I have been here.” Jason nods in understanding, pulling you closer so that he can give you a reassuring kiss on the forehead, “That is true, but I don’t think it truly will matter.”

You sigh as you nod slightly, leaning into his side as you mess with a couple of the crayons, “I know, I know. I factually know that I have nothing to worry about, but that still doesn’t mean that I’m not nervous to meet them.” Jason rubs circles on your lower back, kissing the side of your head, not sure of the right way to calm your nerves but knowing physical touch won’t hurt. “And that’s totally fair hun, I would be nervous too if I was in your situation. But I truly don’t think you have anything to worry about. Daisy and Otis could be happy just sitting here and talking your ear off for hours.” You look at him with a small smile and a light giggle, “Hm, I wonder who they get that from.”

Jason takes his arm from around you, standing up as he rolls his eyes and waves you off, walking to finish cleaning the dishes, “Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyway, you love them and you haven’t even met them yet, you’ve told me as much. As long as they have someone showing them the love they deserve, they will be happy and content. Which is exactly how I’ll be too.” He sends you one more reassuring smile before turning to the sink, scrubbing the last few dishes as you walk over, hugging him from behind and kissing his left shoulder blade through his sweatshirt. “Thanks bubs, you’re right, I know you are. I just want to make the perfect first impression, I plan on being in their life for as long as you and they will have me.”

Turning off the water, Jason turns around in your arms to return your embrace, kissing your forehead before then leaning his on yours, “So forever? Because that’s what I’m planning on.” You blush deeply, nodding intently before leaning in to give him a gentle kiss, “Sounds perfect.”

The doorbell rings throughout the Manhattan Brownstone, the two of you heading to the door, hand in hand. Before opening it, Jason turns to you, “You’re gonna be great baby, just think, you can’t make a worst first impression on the kids than I did on you.” You push down your sure-to-be loud laughs as he opens the door, two small humans hugging him tightly before turning to you with bright smiles.

Your facts were right, you had nothing to worry about. No one can make a worst first impression than Jason.

Jason began to tease you about spending the rest of his life with you after about six months, around the same time you met the kids. His teasing turned to serious promises to make you his wife a little after your one-year anniversary. Little comments about having children together were dropped here and there. Talks of an engagement coming soon came two years in, just before meeting his Ted Lasso family, the two of you finally feeling comfortable to take the risk of being seen in public together. He then made his raging baby fever known about a month after getting down on one knee.

After four months with a ring on your finger, you had gotten in the habit of remembering to put it back on after taking a shower. The day after your engagement, Jason saw you walking around the house without it on and his heart broke just a little. You were slipping the ring back on during your morning routine when you realized it was the 15th of the month, or more specifically, three days after when your period normally began.

As soon as Jason told you that he was serious about wanting more kids with you, the two of you began trying. Of course, the actual act was fun, but he was already a bit of an older dad and he wanted to be as young as possible for any children you had. You also couldn’t wait, the idea of carrying Jason’s child and having a human that was the perfect mix of you brought a smile to your face. Your hearts were full of hope that you would be able to welcome a child into this world together.

As you realized the date and that your cycle hadn’t started on schedule, you quickly pulled a pregnancy test out from under your sink. Quickly doing the necessary steps, you sat on the edge of the bathtub as your phone counted down from five minutes, the test placed on the counter in front of you. Of course, this wasn’t a complete surprise. You and Jason haven’t used condoms since you became exclusive and you went off the pill as soon as you agreed to start trying. You planned for this, you had sex at least once a day when ovulating, you abstained from alcohol, and you even tried the old wive’s trick of putting your legs in the air after orgasming (that one was Jason’s idea). Even with all of the planning, you never expected it would work after only three months of trying.

You were on your feet as soon as the phone timer went off, turning the test over to reveal the life-changing result. Tears instantly ran down your face, having trouble believing the word on the white stick, pregnant. Just to be sure, you took three more tests, all different brands. Sure, you were crying while peeing on each stick, but how could you not? Once the three additional tests agreed with the original diagnosis, you let out a screech, you were pregnant!

Once you and Jason decided to try, baby talk was pretty much all your conversations consisted of. Sure, you still talked about your days and went on weekly dates, but at night, when laying in your shared bed - often after sex - your conversations eventually led to being about the baby. How Daisy and Otis would respond, the different names you each liked, or how long of a break Jason would take when the baby arrived. No matter what, you talked about the baby. Jason would ask things like, “When we have a baby, do you think we should move out of the city? We have the space here, but maybe a brand new house would be fun.” You would respond and you wouldn’t correct him, but every time you talked about the baby, you refused to use the word ‘when’.

Sure, you dreamt of having a child with Jason. You were perfectly content being a stepmom to Otis and Daisy, they are your kids as much as they are Jason’s. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t yearn for another child to call your own. As much as you wanted another child, it wouldn’t necessarily happen. What if you and Jason are unlucky and couldn’t get pregnant? What if you are infertile and don’t know it? What if you get pregnant and miscarry? You don’t know if you’d have the ability to try again after that. Of course, you could always adopt or find a surrogate, but to have a child this way, there was no way to know for sure that it would happen. So you stood firm in your word choice, ‘if’ not ‘when’.

When Jason entered your house that night, exhausted after a day of filming, he was overjoyed to see a receipt from his favorite pizza joint dropped on the ground. As much as he loved your cooking, some days he just needed to fill his stomach with pizza to his heart’s content, and somehow, you always knew when those days were. Sneaking up behind you as you open the lid of the delivery box, he wrapped his arms tightly around you, pressing a kiss to the base of your neck, “Hey there, beautiful.”

Smiling brightly, you lean back into Jason’s arms, enjoying his warmth and smell. You always loved the smell of your fiancé, you stole his clothes whenever possible. But with how his scent dominated the smell of the pizza as soon as he walked in, at least in your mind it did, you could already tell that your pregnancy hormones would be going crazy for his pheromones.

Pulling at Jason’s arms lightly, he loosens them just enough for you to turn around in his grasp, wrapping your arms around his neck before you pull him in for a sweet kiss. Jason deepens the kiss, running his tongue along your bottom lip; and as much as you wanted to give in, you desperately wanted to eat the pizza and also couldn’t hold your news in much longer. You pull away a bit, though Jason chases your lips, much to your entertainment. Laughing at him, you push him away slightly as you leave his embrace, sitting down at the table, “Settle down cowboy, maybe later.”

Playful pouting before laughing at himself, Jason secedes, pulling out his chair though you stop him before he can sit down, “Oh, sorry bubs, I forgot the plates, can you grab them?” Nodding happily, Jason rounds the corner to the kitchen, “What did you get up to today, hun?” Humming in thought, you remember the cute bookstore you passed that day, “Oh! I went into the cutest bookshop today, there was this whole kids’ series about soccer, well, football, and it explains the rules and everything, in baby terms of course. Super adorable. I took a picture so I can find it later, definitely need to buy that when we have the baby.”

From the kitchen, which you don’t have a view of from the dining room table, Jason chuckles lightly in response, “That’s a fun idea, but does it explain offsides? But yes, definitely need to get that for…” He trails off, to which you smile, knowing he caught onto what you said. Jason rounds the corner with wide eyes, two plates in hand, “Y/N, did you say ‘when’?” Nodding with a bright smile, your legs bounce with excitement, “Mhm, I did say ‘when’.”

At the speed of lightning, Jason put the plates down and crosses the short distance to you, pulling you into his tight embrace. He holds you to his chest, tears running down both of your faces, then squeezes you with excitement. Pulling back, he kisses you passionately while holding your face in between his hands, your tears mixing together. Pulling back slightly, he rests his forehead on yours, both of you attempting to calm your racing hearts. Clearing his throat, Jason looks deeply into your eyes with a fondness you had never seen in them before.

“We’re gonna have a baby?” He speaks so softly, almost as if saying it out loud will snap him out of his dream. You smile softly, reaching up to wipe away his tears, “We’re gonna have a baby.”

Maybe you needed to rethink your logic. Looks like hopes, plans, and facts can all come together for good things, for the best things.

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