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#jim halper
awzer · 7 months
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The Office (5x15)
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theaawalker · 6 months
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GAYS IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM - THE OFFICE
The Scranton branch has officially absorbed the Stamford branch, and as a show of good faith, Michael calls everyone into the conference room to explain why [Oscar] being gay is okay.
WC: 734 words
Song Inspo: I Can See You
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The staff were sitting in the conference room. A beige table was set up in the center with tan chairs inside it and around it by the three, beige walls. The fourth wall had a whiteboard, inches apart from the open door. The gray carpet was well-vacuumed and the white window shades were shut. Self-explanatory, the room made for an exciting meeting.
"Oscar is a good person." Michael spoke as he paced in front of the whiteboard. "You know, it should've matter if he's gaaayy or normal," Jim side-eyed the camera, "he's a human being, man. I...," Michael sighed and grabbed his hips, "I just don't understand how people could be so hateful."
"Michael," Kevin's deep voice rose from somewhere behind Karen. "We don't hate Oscar because he's gay... At least, not all of us." The large man mischievously glanced at Angela.
"Hmph." Angela crossed her arms, Bible in hand. "I don't support that lifestyle. It's impure, ungodly, unsanitary..."
"Unprotected- that's what he said!" Michael chuckled then caught himself. "No. No! I meant that as in unprotected because they are unprotected in this country. So anything you took from that is anti-gay. Case closed."
Dwight nodded along and took notes. Andy stroked his protruded chin and squinted with pretend intrigue. Stanley did his crossword puzzles in the far-left corner. Meredith's mouth hung agape and her eyes were red, clear signs of early intoxication. Pam looked uncomfortable between Karen and Jim but said nothing. Jim condescendingly smiled and did routine stares at the camera. Erin sat closest to Michael and the door, in clear view of Karen. While Michael went back-and-forth with Angela, Karen watched Erin doodle in her notepad. Fillipeli's cheek found her shoulder and her eyes found a tranquil lowness. Amongst all the speel and chaos, nothing seemed to matter then.
"-I refuse to give my American right to practice religion. Seriously. Whatever happened to freedom of speech? My first amendmant right-"
"Second." Dwight coughed.
Angela eyed him then returned to Michael. "If you can't afford me that right, I'll just have to pray for you." She smirked and patted her Bible.
Phyllis looked at her with terror and sadness, having the displeasure of sitting right next to the blonde woman.
"Can I ask," Karen turned around to her, "what type of Christian are you?"
"Excuse me?" Angela raised a brow.
"Catholic? Mormon? Jehovah witness? Baptist? Born-again?" Karen listed off the sects.
"I'm a devote Christian, old testament." She specified, enunciating the last part. She looked around the room with a finger up, as if expecting someone to oppose her.
"I grew up Catholic. Read the Bible every Christmas."
Angela smiled a bit, then cleared her throat, lifted her chin, looked at the floor, and raised a brow. "Favorite passage?"
"Easily Psalms 139:7." Karen scoffed. "Arguably the best passage, aside from Leviticus and Luke, of course."
Angela pouted a smile, almost holding back delight and disdain for not needing to correct Karen.
"Wow, Karen, I never pegged you for a Bible thumper." Kelly stated what the room was thinking.
"That's because sinful women like you wouldn't know a real holy woman from your left elbow, Kelly." Angela spat at her, making the Indian woman gasp.
"Ryan!" Kelly called for her boyfriend's aid, but he just shrugged.
"Invite Oscar back if you want. Invite the AID's epidemic right along with him. I don't care anymore." Angela shrugged. "As long as I have this," she held up her Bible, "and my undeniable faith, I'm safe."
"From gay people?" Jim replied. "You think the book wards off gay people?"
"I do." Angela said matter-of-factly.
"What'll happen if I say I'm gay and I touch it?" Kevin asked on top of his question. "I'm not." He addressed the room. "But it'd be funny if I was, right?" He laughed throatily.
"You'd burst into flames." Dwight answered.
"Not accurate." Andy counteracted.
"Oh, how do you know, Cornell?" Dwight looked him up and down.
"Can I see it?" Karen cut him off. "It's been so long since I've held one that wasn't mine."
"Sure, Karen. I trust my fellow God warriors." Angela sneered at Jim as she outreached her black little book to Karen. Granted, this was Angela, so she never let go, but Karen did stroke it's cover.
"Whoa. Leather. Very nice." Karen complimented her.
The scene cut to Karen's interview.
"I'm also a lesbian."
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mamirhodessxox · 3 months
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SHOULD I START WRITING AB JIM HALPERT??
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serenefreakgeekao3 · 1 year
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I have one!!!
Jim Halpert x gn!reader with fluff prompt
“Sad…I have a blanket with all this room and no one to share it with.”
With that episode ‘After Hours’ (yes I looked it up 🥲) where Jim is trying to get Cathy out of his hotel room so Dwight helps, but then Jim gets stuck with Dwight. So R comes to Jims rescue and offers him to stay with them in their room.
Summary: Jim is sent on a business meeting along with a few other prospective candidates for Vice President. When everything begins to spiral out of control, Jim doesn’t know who to turn to next //AU where Jim and Pam never got together, Pam went through with her marriage and the two children she has are with Roy, Pam is a sales associate, and Reader is the receptionist / being used as Nellie’s personal assistant Warnings: Use of Y/N, switching POV (between reader and Jim), use of the word ‘whxre’ (not at anyone), Author's Note: I’ll be completely honest my friend, I’ve completely forgotten who Cathy is! If she worked as the receptionist for Dunder Mifflin Scranton, then no she didn’t! In fact she’s not from Scranton at all cause reader doesn’t know her so how about that, there we go. Did I go back and rewatch the episode you mentioned? Yes. did i hate myself for it? Maybe a little bit. But it was during work so what else was i supposed to be doing? Work? Nah (ok look i wrote literal notes for this fic like it was a damn english project in school ok pls love this for me) Also on a side note, there needs to be more fics of Jim Halper x Reader ok I am literally dying without them. picture im like a dehydrated person in the desert just dragging my body around ok I need more fics
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Arriving at the hotel in Tallahassee should’ve been a lot smoother than it turned out to be. They were all told that Dunder Mifflin had it ‘handled,’ which should’ve been your first clue. What really tipped you off was the number of rooms available.
“What do you mean? There should be one extra-”
“That’s all the rooms we have on record, sorry.”
“No,” You sighed, rubbing your face with your hands, “No, I know. It’s not your fault at all. Just- do you have any extra available rooms? I’ll pay for it out of my own pocket.” It’s not as if you were being paid millions to be a receptionist at Dunder Mifflin, but you’d rather not have to ask to bunk with anyone. Everyone here were adults, and half of them seemed dead set on performing some sort of sexual act for the evening.
You had driven over with Nellie after she insisted you both carpool to cut costs. Then you had to suffer an entire car ride about how pent up she was, how she just wanted to get laid and she wasn’t above using her decision on who will be the new VP to get herself into bed. You tuned out before she could start listing names since there was nothing in the world you wanted to know less than what kind of guy Nellie was into.
“I’m sorry, it looks like we don’t have any extra rooms available.”
You were about to speak when you were bumped into, turning around to see the large crowd of Dunder Mifflin employees lining up behind you. You start handing out the proper keys to their proper rooms, having Dwight snatch his key cards out of your hand before immediately pouncing on Nellie. You were extremely thankful when Jim finally squeezed his way to the front. You hand over the card you labelled with his name, then sighed, looking back to the woman behind the counter.
“It does seem like there are a few rooms that have been reserved but haven’t been checked into yet. Their estimated check-in times are varied, so if you wait here there is a possibility that I could get a room for you at some point tonight.”
“I would really appreciate that, thank you,” You mumble over to her, then lean closer to Jim when he starts insistently tapping your shoulder.
“Can you be my new Tallahassee buddy? Stanley keeps going on and on about how we’re both bachelors and I’m pretty sure he’s wanting to get laid tonight. And I’m so not about to be around all of that anymore.” You chuckle at the similarities, shaking your head.
“That’s horrible. It’s like there’s something in the air here. Nellie was saying the same stuff during the car ride!” It was hard to talk with the loud crowd, but you weren’t complaining about how close Jim was standing next to you. “Unfortunately, I won’t be much of a buddy today. I would, but the company messed up, they didn’t reserve enough rooms!”
“They didn’t mess up!” You jump at the foreign voice, spinning around to see Nellie sliding up close to you, practically hanging on your shoulder. She already had Dwight and Packer trailing her closely from behind. “I told them the correct number of rooms, I swear it!”
“There’s not one for me-”
“Yeah, because I told them you didn’t need one!” You furrow your brows in confusion, watching her for a moment. “I figured you’d bunk with me! We’d be bunk buddies!”
“Nellie,” You hesitate, eyeing the men behind her before leaning forward, “There is absolutely no way in hell I’m sharing a room with you, considering what you talked about on the way up here.” Nellie stood there for a moment, obviously confused before suddenly jumping and spinning around to see the men trailing her. She laughs loudly, winking at them before turning back to you.
“Oh! Good idea!”
You watch Nellie just say this, then turn and leave. You sigh again, shaking your head and turning toward Jim. “If things can get settled in time I’d love to, Jim, but I-”
“Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear,” A woman sidled up close, brushing herself against Jim’s arm. You watched the man jump, then turn and furrow his brow at this woman.
“Cathy?”
“Yes! It’s so good to see you, Jim! If you need a new Tallahassee buddy, I am willing and available.” You choked on your spit at the innuendo, watching her practically rub herself again Jim. You watched him try to take a step back, then bump into the counter behind him. You could feel something burning your chest at the way she was acting toward him. Much too forward, in your opinion, though maybe that’s what Jim likes? Should you do that, would that gain his attention?
“Oh, well, that sounds fun-”
“Great! So we can-”
“Hello?” You turn quickly at the receptionist’s insistence, raising your eyebrows toward her in a gesture that you were listening. At this she smiles back, looking back to her computer. “So the first one that may be available should be checking in within the hour. If by the top of the hour they don’t get here, I can make a phone call for you.”
“Oh, thank you so much. Really, I appreciate it.”
“Of course!”
You turn back to Jim, watching the woman walk away with a sway to her hips. You chuckle, shaking your head. “So you know her?”
“Oh, she works with the company.” He tears his eyes away from her, smiling down at you once more. “She’s willing to sit with me so I don’t have to deal with Stanley all weekend.”
“Oh good!”
“Of course, unless you would like to sit with me?” Jim smiles, and you could tell he was trying to charm his way into the seat next to you. If only he knew you would do anything for him.
“If I’m there in time, definitely. But this whole hotel business is turning into a real-” You’re interrupted by a phone call, cursing quietly and smiling apologetically to Jim. “I’m so sorry- I’ll just be a second,” You answer the phone, stepping aside to deal with some business for Nellie. You miss Jim giving you a longing stare before he finally turns around and begins making his way toward the bar.
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  Jim felt lonely. He was almost excited to go on this trip, to get away from Scranton and all of the normalcy and monotonous days and maybe even spend some time with you outside of work for once. Or, as outside of work as he could get. But instead, he was sitting at the bar while nursing a drink and wishing you weren’t busy. Your hotel room hullaballoo lasted throughout the entirety of the company meeting, Nellie having complained that she had to take her own notes, and they still haven’t found a spare room for you.
Jim even offered to bunk with you, but then you had mentioned that there was only one bed in every room that was given out, and you had asked with raised eyebrows whether he was fine with sharing a bed with you. Jim- who obviously was more than okay with sharing a bed with you- had stuttered and mumbled and eventually the consensus landed in the field of no, you wouldn’t end up rooming with him. Nor did you have time to be his Tallahassee buddy. Which was extremely unfortunate, since the majority of the reason he had been excited about this trip was you.
Jim jumped at a weird noise, glancing over to see Packer blowing onto Nellie’s face with Dwight making what was probably supposed to be seagull calls into her ear. Sighing, he finished the rest of the drink he was nursing and mumbled something to himself before getting up and heading for his room. Maybe the sooner they’re back in Scranton, the sooner he’ll be able to talk to you again at the receptionist desk like normal. That would be 100% better than anything that was going on in this hotel at the moment.
When he got to his room he had turned on the tv, flipping idly through until he landed on the channel showing an NBA game. He leans back, watching for a little while. He’s not really sure what else to do, he didn’t exactly plan anything aside from ‘See what Y/N is doing and follow them around while they do it’ except you had said waiting in the lobby of the hotel room was extremely boring and you wouldn’t want to put him through that. He had acquiesced- for some reason- and had wandered back to the bar. Thinking back on it now, if you were bored down there then the best thing he could do would be to sit with you and entertain you. How had that thought only just crossed his head?
He was reaching for the remote to turn the tv off when he heard a knock at the door. Redirecting his attention, he left the remote for a moment and went to go see who could possibly be visiting him.
“Hey!” Jim’s brows furrowed seeing Cathy standing there in front of him. “The heating in my room is going a bit wonky, do you think I could hang out here while they fix it?” Without waiting for an answer, Cathy pushes past Jim and into his room.
“O-okay,” Jim drags out the word, closing the door slowly and hesitantly following Cathy into his room.
“What do you have on? Some kind of game?” She jumps onto his bed, scooting near the middle with her back against the bedframe. Jim hesitates, nodding toward the tv.
“Yeah, y’know. The NBA.”
“O-oh, sounds fun,” She sings back, patting the spot beside her. Jim slowly lowers himself onto the corner of the bed, then lets himself continue sliding until he’s sitting on the floor in front of the tv.
“Yeah. Fun.”
“So how’s the night going? Retiring early already?” Jim felt a tap on his shoulder and glanced up to see Cathy laying on her stomach, her head at the foot of the bed and close to Jim. He clears his throat, subtly trying to scoot away. “Didn’t know you were such an old man, Halpert!”
“Yeah, well. You know me. Old man Halpert.”
“Maybe we could stay up a little longer together? Have a little fun?”
Jim jumps up, taking a few steps back from the bed with a stutter. “Oh, you know, actually I was planning on heading down to the lobby-”
“I can come?” She asks, pushing herself up to sit on her legs.
“No, I just meant-”
Another knock on the door interrupts him, and thanking god under his breath he practically ran to the door. “Stanley! You do not know how glad I am to see you!”
“Mmhmm,” Stanley hums, pushing past Jim and walking into his room.
“You should stay! We’re watching the NBA, it’ll be like a party!”
“I’m just here ‘cause I ran out of refreshments in my room.” Stanley straightens up, carrying every single little bottle of alcohol that the hotel provided Jim’s room. Jim watched him look directly at Cathy, then back at Jim with raised eyebrows. Stanley immediately begins his exit, calling out behind him, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”
Jim glanced back toward Cathy on his bed, who only taps the bed beside her in an indication to sit down. Jim takes a big sigh, looking back to the tv immediately. He wanders over slowly, taking his position back on the floor.
“Oh! I wonder if you have-” Jim doesn’t hear the rest of it, glancing over to see what Cathy was doing only to be met with her rear-end as she completely bends over at the waist, digging through Jim’s closet. He turns his eyes to the ceiling of the hotel room. What was he supposed to do? Just kick her out? Why was he such a nice person that he didn’t want to hurt her feelings about all of this?
After some time, and Cathy making herself comfortable on Jim’s bed once more, Jim begins to stand and attempt his well-thought-out exit strategy once more.
“Actually, Cathy, I think I’m going to head down to the lobby-”
“Why?” Cathy stood on her knees on the bed, walking over toward the edge and placing a hand flirtatiously on his chest. “Is something the matter with your room?”
“Well- uh, no-”
“Then everything’s good! Come, sit with me!” Cathy jumps back once more, throwing the covers back and settling back in her spot, patting the open area next to her. Jim chokes for a moment, unsure what to do before pulling out his cell phone, and holding a finger up toward Cathy as if asking her to wait.
His plan to call Dwight into action, claiming he had seen a bed bug, hadn’t really worked out exactly as planned. If the plan had been for both Cathy and Dwight to be naked in his hotel room, then it actually went exactly as planned.
Jim was stepping outside of his room for a breather when he finally spotted you. He let out a long sigh, a fond smile lighting up his face without his permission. He wasn’t too worried about it anyway when a matching smile appeared on your face. You were standing near some person who looked to be wearing a hotel uniform, and he jogged over as the person entered the hotel room. “Hey! Did they get you situated finally?”
“Not completely sure?” You hesitated, shrugging at him. “They said they’ve been having some sort of appliance malfunctions on this floor so they need to make sure the room is okay for me to stay in. I asked to tag along, just in case.”
“Well, I hope it works out! Then you’ll be just down the hall from me!”
“Yeah! You could have a visitor for once!” You tease unknowingly, giggling. Jim’s face crashes though, and as he raises a hand to rub his face you begin to grow concerned. “Is everything alright?”
“Well if you count having a naked Dwight in my bed as alright-”
He’s cut off by your laughter, though you’re clearly trying to hold it back. You raised a hand to cover your mouth, and Jim can’t help but smile seeing you act so cute. You finally speak through your laughter, trying to hold yourself together. “Oh, well congratulations I guess? I gotta say, I didn’t see that coming. You and Dwight-”
“No, no, no,” Jim interrupts, laughing himself and shaking his head. You finally dissolve into laughter, and Jim lets the moment last a bit longer before finally explaining. “No, Cathy came into my room.”
“Cathy came by, and now you have a Dwight naked in your bed?” You seemed curious but confused, and Jim could feel his nose scrunch in adoration for you.
“Well, Cathy is naked in my shower so-”
“Oh!” You interrupt, and he could see your cheeks lighting up red. “Oh, I didn’t realize. You two-”
“No!” Jim calls out, probably a bit too loud and too quickly. He clears his throat, leaning closer to you and slumping his shoulders. “No, I mean, she obviously wants to. She told me her room was having heating problems and then has done everything in her power to flirt with me since pushing herself into my room. I’ve tried everything to be polite, I really don’t know what else to do.”
“And,” You begin, narrowing your eyes at him, “I’m still failing to see how a naked Dwight comes into play.” He laughs, then watches as your smile widens as he does.
“Well I kept trying to tell her I needed to leave, but she kept insisting I stayed. Then Stanley came by and stole my alcohol, and he was absolutely no help at all. So I called Dwight. Told him I saw a bed bug in my bed. He came through tearing my room apart, and Cathy said she was going to go take a shower in my room?” He rubs a hand across his face, shrugging. “Everything kinda devolved from there. He started stripping, saying he needed all the skin access he can have, that his body heat was going to attract the bed bugs to his body.”
“The bugs that- aren’t there?” You question, raising an eyebrow. He nods along and you laugh, shaking your head. You’re both quiet for a moment before you take a step toward him. Jim could feel his heart rate beginning to spike at your closeness. “But, help me out here. All this just because what? You don’t want to have sex with her?” Jim watched some sort of emotion cross over your face, though it was brief enough that he couldn’t quite catch it. “I mean, she seems like a good person?”
“She’s not the one I want though,” Jim mumbles, staring into your eyes. ‘Woah there, Jimboy,’ He thinks to himself, taking a deep breath to calm himself but only inhaling more of your scent, setting butterflies fluttering in his stomach. “I- I just mean, well. I like someone. And it’s not her.”
You were just opening your mouth to say something- ‘Anything, say anything,’ Jim pleaded in his head- when you were interrupted before you could even start.
“I tried my best, but I couldn’t get it to work. I don’t think this room is hospitable. I’m sorry.” You had turned around, taking a step away from Jim. He could finally breathe normally now, though he would still much rather be in your orbit than face the possibility of going back to his room to deal with things.
“Oh, that’s alright. I guess I can go see Tara back at check-in and see if she has anything else.” The disappointment in your voice had Jim’s chest clenching, and he reached forward to take your hand before you could walk away.
“My offer is still open, you know.” You laugh at him, shaking your head and pulling your hand away gently.
“What, stay with you and your two naked roommates?” Jim could feel his face begin to blush, and you shook your head once more. “Go have fun, Jim.” You walk away with an audible sigh, and Jim knew he would have done anything to make you happy again.
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  ‘Go have fun, Jim,’ You mock back at yourself, shaking your head. ‘Yes, just tell your crush to go have sex with someone ‘willing and available,’ that’s the exact thing you need to be doing.’ You were currently sitting on the uncomfortable furniture in the check-in waiting area, balancing your briefcase on your knees and hoping desperately that everyone in Scranton that wanted your attention via phone had finally gone to bed. You hadn’t received a ‘super important’ not-so-important phone call for the last thirty minutes, so your hopes were beginning to look up.
“Excuse me, Y/L/N?”
“Yes?” You stumble as you stand, fumbling with your briefcase before finally catching it and dropping your phone. Thankfully, Tara waits patiently for you to pick up your phone as well before you rush over to her desk. She had been so helpful, and it had only taken you an hour of being in her company before remembering it was polite to ask about names.
“I’ve just got off the phone with-” She hesitates, glancing at her computer and scanning it before huffing and turning her attention back to you, “Well, doesn’t matter. They aren’t showing up, they told me as much. So we finally have a room available to you! I sent Max back up to check the room again, but if I remember correctly then this isn’t one of the ones having problems!”
“Oh, Tara, thank you so much!” You lean across the counter, and thankfully Tara meets you halfway for an awkward hug. She giggles as she backs away, leaning over and placing a card key on the counter.
“And it’s on the house, darling.”
“What? No, I couldn’t do that to you, Tara!”
“Look, with the whole misunderstanding, and then you having to stand here for hours and just wait around while that cute guy kept coming back trying to get your attention-”
“Wait, who, Jim?” You ask breathlessly, sliding the card into your hand. You laugh, though Tara seems unconvinced. “Oh, no, we’re just friends. It’s nothing like all that-”
“Sure, darling. Just take the room.”
“Thank you again!”
You back up, turning to quickly run into the room and almost knock directly into the camera guy that seems to have taken the position of following you around constantly. You sigh, nodding at the guy behind the camera before taking off quickly.
Your room was in the same hallway as Jim’s, and you weren’t sure yet whether you were going to curse the fact or thank Tara with an entire fruit basket. You were about to find out, though, now that you’d set your briefcase down and had taken a cursory look through the room. Making sure to have your card key on you, you exit the room at the end of the hallway and begin what felt like a walk of doom to where you knew Jim was staying- the room he had exited earlier in the night when you had almost been given a room and he had seen you.
As you were getting closer, you started hearing some kind of commotion. It sounded like muffled yells- then extremely loud screams as Jim’s door is flung open. A woman- Cathy- comes running out with a bedsheet held around her body, screaming and waving her free arm around her head as she pushes past you and runs down the hall. You hesitate, then take a few steps closer, just in time to hear Dwight’s mumbled voice.
“It’s not safe in here, Jim. I think you should room with Cathy for the night.”
You knock on the open door, peaking your head in to see Dwight with a facemask and large rubber gloves, holding two different spray bottles with some weird coloured liquids inside. Dwight was practically in Jim’s face, though at your knock they both turn to look at you. Dwight with exasperation, and Jim with nothing but relief.
“Y/N! Yes, please, save me from this nightmare.” He rushes toward you, taking one of your hands with both of his and practically drowning you with puppy dog eyes. You take in a quick breath before Dwight begins to crowd the both of you.
“No! Nope! No more bodies need to be added to the situation, go flirt outside.” Dwight slams the door closed behind the two of you, and you couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbles up.
“So, naked Cathy and Dwight turn into-”
“Naked Cathy running away clutching a bedsheet and a fully decked-out Dwight spraying my room with mysterious chemicals? I guess so.” You both laugh and you could feel your cheeks heating up at Jim’s attention. “But, seems like I just lost my room.”
“Oh, what a shame,” You mumble, waiting for him to look back into your eyes before your smile grows wider. “So sad… I have a blanket with all this room and no one to share it with.”
Jim’s face lights up and he starts looking up and down the hallway as if your room number would just jump out in front of him. “Wait you finally got a room? That’s amazing, Y/N!”
“We finally got a room,” You insist, then hesitate as he locks eyes with you again, “I mean, if you’re still-”
“Yes!” Jim jumps in, grinning. “I would love to. Should’ve said that to begin with.” You both laugh, and you lead him down the hall to your room. Once inside, Jim begins to take a look around while you grab the remote, pushing yourself onto your bed and settling your back against the bedframe. As you turn on the tv, you start flipping through the channels.
“Shouldn’t you go back and rescue your stuff from Dwight’s wrath?”
“I think I’ll give it a night to air out,” Jim mumbles, settling himself slowly at the head of your bed, scooting in to sit next to you. You settle your channel-flipping on some sort of basketball game. You didn’t know much about it yourself, but nothing else seemed interesting and you knew Jim liked the game.
“So,” You begin, turning your position to face Jim fully. “Tell me all about what happened.” He laughs in response, raising a hand to rub the back of his head.
“Oh, well. I basically told you everything already. After you left I went back to my room and Cathy had apparently decided not to put on any clothes and just jumped under the covers on my bed like she owned the place. I got really sick of all of her flirting, so I tried telling her straight to her face, ‘Cathy, I’m sorry but I’m not interested.’”
“Really? Appropriate, given the circumstances.”
“Yeah, I thought so too. She just looked at me like I was crazy and asked if that’s what I thought of her. If I thought she was a whore.” You gasped at the name and Jim nodded, turning to look at you more directly as well. “Of course, I said no. Then she just said ‘Okay good, that’s settled,’ and then continued to flirt with me!”
“No!” You gasped, laughing again. “You did everything including telling her you weren’t interested and she still kept pressing on!”
“Yeah! So I called Dwight back. He came running in with those spray bottles and she tried insisting she didn’t see anything, but when Dwight asked ‘Where’s the bug?’ I didn’t even think about it, I just pointed straight at her.” You widened your eyes, unconsciously scooting closer. You watched Jim track your movement, his grin widening. “She screamed when he started spraying her and jumped off the bed and I thought to myself, ‘Well she got that far, I wonder if she’ll go all the way?’ So then Dwight asked if I saw it and I kept pointing at the sheet she was clutching around herself and-”
“That’s why she ran screaming from your room!” You blurt out, placing your hand on his arm, and then you both begin laughing. “That’s horrible!”
“I know! How could Dwight do something like that!” You laugh harder, shaking your head. After you both manage to calm down, another thought strikes your mind.
“So,” You begin, biting your lip and unsure how to phrase this. “You kept saying that you were sending signals that you obviously didn’t want to do anything with her, right?” You look up toward him, watching his eyes track your lips, realising you're biting them again.
“Uh- well, yeah. Yeah, I did that. It was like she was blind or something.” Jim mumbled, the tips of his cheeks were turning pink and it looked way too nice on him. “Or just, y’know, deliberately ignoring them.”
“What were they?” You ask- mumble, more than anything. Jim hesitates for a second, tilting his head.
“What?”
“What were the signs?” You could see the moment it registers what you’re asking in his eyes when they slightly widen.
“Oh, well. When she originally came in, she jumped on my bed and patted the spot next to her. I ended up sitting on the very corner of it,” He turned to point at the corner of your own bed as if you needed an explanation, then turned back toward you. “But even that felt a bit too much like giving in so I just ended up sort of sliding onto the floor. The entire time she was there I was either standing or sitting on the floor at the end of the bed watching tv.”
“Oh,” You whisper, trying to keep a smile tampered down at the fact that Jim had unflinchingly sat right next to you at the head of the bed. “Well, what else?”
“She tried to bend over directly in front of me.”
“No,” You gasp, laughing again. You hear Jim chuckle a bit before he continues.
“Yeah. I just looked up the whole time, I didn’t want to disrespect her or anything. Then there were the innuendos.”
“O-oh,” You drew out, smirking at him. “Saying innuendos to one Jim Halpert. I’m surprised you could resist her.” He’s quiet after, staring into your eyes. You begin to worry you said the wrong thing before he finally speaks up, his voice sounding a little rough.
“Yeah, maybe if it wasn’t her saying them.” You bite your lip, watching him momentarily before looking away and pretending to watch basketball.
“So what kinds of things did she say then?” As you finally glance back Jim just shrugs, looking quickly at the tv. Was he trying to pretend he wasn’t staring at you? Had he been staring at you? You bite your lip once again, thinking hard. “Ohh, I’m just so cold.” You tried to push your voice into a sultry tone and felt satisfied when Jim turned suddenly, his eyes wide and cheeks red.
“What?”
“That was one of the things she tried, right?” You asked, indicating what you had meant by saying that. You could feel Jim slowly relaxing against you and- wait, against you? When had the two of you got so close that your arms were resting against each other? Your faces were even closer than you remembered and you were beginning to get lost in his eyes.
“Y/N?” You blink a few times, realizing you had zoned out for a moment. If he had answered you, you had definitely missed it.
“Yeah?” You couldn’t help how breathless your voice sounded, and you could only hope that Jim wouldn’t realize why and then leave.
“Are you cold?” His voice was low and rough again and distracted you from the words he said for a few beats too long. Even after, his words had your brain scrambling to a halt, and you could feel your mouth opening and closing- gaping like a fish. How attractive. And yet, through all this Jim maintained how close he was to you. How he was slightly hunching over, his face closer to yours than it maybe should’ve been.
“I- yes,” You answer, nodding your head slowly, in obvious disbelief. “Yes, I’m cold.”
“Would you like help to warm up?” Jim was already shifting slowly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you in closer to him.
“Yes, I- I would,” You stutter out, pushing yourself slowly down to lay your head on his chest. Once the both of you were settled, you were essentially laying together on your hotel bed and were cuddling. You were laying on Jim, you could feel his chest rising and falling with breath, and you had your arms wrapped around him to hold him close and he was letting you.
Maybe this trip didn’t turn out so bad after all.
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bighermie · 9 months
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MUST WATCH: Pres. Trump Amplifies Dr. Jan Halper-Hayes' Claims in Truth Social Post - Suggests Space Force Has Evidence of 2020 Election Fraud: "Trump Knew if He Presented Any of the Goods Early On, We'd Have a CIVIL WAR" | The Gateway Pundit | by Jim Hᴏft
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amiguiz · 1 year
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Tengo tanto, tanto que decir sobre Autoayuda (¿”que o qué”?), de Lorrie Moore, pero también tengo un montón de trabajo, pero tampoco quiero que se me olviden mis pensamientos (no es que sean tan valiosos, no, pero es que sí sentí cosas, sí me cambió un poco la vida, sí quiero dejar constancia de todo eso, etcétera, documentar para poder volver), pero también entro a la oficina hasta las ocho así que tengo tiempo, lo haré rápido.
Lo primero es que la traducción castiza está horripilante, yo quisiera regalarle una versión mexicana, pero a qué horas y con qué ojos.
Lo segundo es que es increíble la manera en la que va deslizando un humor incómodo que primero es listillo, luego es doloroso, luego es punzante, un poco molesto en realidad, para al final cuestionarlo. 
///SPOILER: Las personajas de cada relato son distintas, pero no tanto, pues todas son mujeres y todas desarrollan mecanismos defensivos similares (tretas del débil, diría Ludmer): después de haber cedido a los caprichos del patriarcado, se reservan su descontento, aparentan, hacen como que dicen, se dan cuenta de todo y optan por el silencio. Firman (simbólicamente) bajo protesta. Acomodan las circunstancias para que sucedan de cierto modo y al final fingen demencia, como si no hubiera sido lo que ellas querían, como si no tuvieran agencia. Pero sí la tienen. Ellas lo saben, la autora lo sabe, la lectora lo sabe. Porque la lectora, yo, tú, hemos sido ellas.
Huir. Cuando una mujer se va, Moore emplea el verbo huir.
Tons, todos los relatos son un constante Jim Halper mirando a la cámara (debería decir una constante Pam, ¿por qué siempre digo Jim?). Burleteándose de lo absurdo de todo. También en diálogos. Estas mujeres incomodan a los hombres porque los sacan de su eje. Rompen el ciclo comunicativo. 
¿Qué hace un hombre cuando no sabe qué responder? Muestra los colmillos.
En el último cuento, un hombre por fin increpa a una personaja al respecto de su sentido del humor. Le dice: lo que dices está vacío. Le dice: solo escuchas el borde de las cosas.
(Lo cual no es verdad. Por mucho que a ella su propia mente la esté traicionando).
Es Moore advirtiéndonos de lo que ha estado haciendo durante todo el libro. De lo que nosotras hemos estado haciendo toda la vida.
/// FIN DEL SPOILER
Lo demás que quiero comentar tiene que ver con mi mamá.
Va otro post.
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cleoenfaserum · 4 months
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VOICES THAT NEEDS TO BE HEARD
SCOTT RITTER encounters John Steinbeck's "Tom Joad's" WRATH and Arthur Miller's "Willy Loman's" DEATH.
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This blog is longer than a German sausage and if you consider the Spanish saying "Hay mas días que longaniza" which literally translated "There are more days than sausages", take your time to hear the complete blog, Rome wasn't built in a day, Listen to Scott Ritter, worth your time.
867-1 https://ok.ru/video/7408821340723
The following is an amazing article by Scott Ritter which he references in ASK THE INSPECTOR which you can read and listen or just simply listen or if you want to read the article I would recommend that you click on the following link ... From Tom Joad to Willy Loman. SCOTT RITTER, 8 DIC 2023 | by Cleoenfaserem | Dec, 2023 | Medium
867-100 From Tom Joad to Willy Loman. SCOTT RITTER, 8 DIC 2023 | by Cleoenfaserem | Dec, 2023 | Medium
And let me explain...
Scott Ritter in his programe touched a nerve when talking about Tom Joad, who is a character in the novel Grapes of Wrath written by John Steinbeck, which I read when I was about 15 years old and am now 75. I loved that book. It resonated with me then in so many ways, so much so that it has left a mark that will never be erased on my soul. I don't remember much of the book, but there is a good undercurrent sensation that flows in my mind and I do remember some parts of the book enhanced later on by the film.
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Katie Halper reading...in honor of
Refaat Alareer "If I Must Die" – a poem by Refaat Alareer (usefulidiotspodcast.com)
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If I must die, / you must live / to tell my story / to sell my things / to buy a piece of cloth/ and some strings, / (make it white with a long tail) / so that a child, somewhere in Gaza / while looking heaven in the eye / awaiting his dad who left in a blaze— / and bid no one farewell / not even to his flesh / not even to himself— / sees the kite, my kite you made, flying up / above / and thinks for a moment an angel is there / bringing back love / If I must die / let it bring hope / let it be a tale
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In a DM exchange with Refaat in October, Katie asked “Is there anything we can do from over here?” He responded, “Thank you for offering. More pressure on the media. More coverage. More Palestinian voices. More protests. Hopefully, Israel is curbed.”
Watch our full interview with Refaat here, in which he bravely spoke out from Gaza while sheltering 15 children in his apartment. "If I Must Die" – a poem by Refaat Alareer (usefulidiotspodcast.com)
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867-1/2 https://youtu.be/z0M-IebnZc8
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Tom Joad (Henry Fonda) and Jim Casey (John Carradine)
So, who is Tom Joad?
Tom Joad it the main character in John Steinbeck's novel the Grapes of Wrath. Tom is kind and often merciful, yet quick to anger and fiercely independent. As a man of action, he embodies one of the novel's main philosophical strands, pragmatism, standing in contrast to the idealistic and talkative Jim Casy. While Casy is predominantly an observer and commentator on the human condition, Tom's acts of humanity are subconscious, his insights and compassion intuitive. Tom is concerned with the practical aspects of his life as they relate to the here and now, not the moral or ideological circumstances surrounding his actions. In this sense, Tom and Casy follow inverted paths in the development of their characters. After Casy has the opportunity to witness his beliefs acted out by the jail inmates, he moves from a position of observation and contemplation to one of action. Tom's social role moves in the opposite direction, from one of action to one of reflection. Not until Tom stops moving and reacting does he have the opportunity to absorb Casy's ideas. When he does so, however, Tom's development comes full-circle as he pledges to return to continue the actions begun by Casy. Tom Joad (cliffsnotes.com)
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867-2 https://youtu.be/ptWE8DAVl5E
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The Grapes of Wrath is a 1940 American drama film directed by John Ford based on John Steinbeck's 1939 Pulitzer Prize-winning novel of the same name. The screenplay was written by Nunnally Johnson. 
The film is widely considered to be one of the greatest films of all time. In 1989, it was one of the first 25 films selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the United States National Film Registry for being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant". The Grapes of Wrath (film) - Wikipedia
The film tells the story of the Joads, an Oklahoma family of sharecroppers, who, after losing their farm to increased mechanization during the Great Depression in the 1930s, become migrant workers, and end up in California. The motion picture details their arduous journey across the United States as they travel to California in search of work and opportunities for the family members, and features cinematography by Gregg Toland.
867-4 https://ok.ru/video/2034789583487
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867-5 https://youtu.be/n-mq0uJ7rlM LYRICS TO THE SONG: [Verse 1] Men walking along the railroad tracks / Going someplace and there's no going back / Highway patrol choppers coming up over the ridge / Hot soup on a campfire under the bridge // [Verse 2] Shelter line stretching around the corner / Welcome to the new world order / Families sleeping in the cars in the southwest / No home, no job, no peace, no rest // [Chorus 1] Well, the highway is alive tonight / But nobody's kidding nobody about where it goes / I'm sitting down here in the campfire light / Searching for the ghost of Tom Joad // [Verse 3] He pulls a prayer book out of his sleeping bag / Preacher lights up a butt and he takes a drag / Waiting for when the last shall be first and the first shall be last / In a cardboard box 'neath the underpass // [Verse 4] Got a one-way ticket to the promised land / You got a hole in your belly and a gun in your hand / Sleeping on a pillow of solid rock / Bathing in the city aqueduct // [Chorus 2] The highway is alive tonight / Where it's headed, everybody knows / I'm sitting down here in the campfire light / Waiting on the ghost of Tom Joad // [Verse 5] Now Tom said, "Mom, wherever there's a cop beating a guy / Wherever a hungry newborn baby cries / Where there's a fight against the blood and hatred in the air / Look for me, Mom, I'll be there // [Verse 6] Wherever somebody's fighting for a place to stand / Or a decent job or a helping hand / Wherever somebody's struggling to be free / Look in their eyes, Ma, and you'll see me" // [Chorus 3] Well, the highway is alive tonight / But nobody's kidding nobody about where it goes / I'm sitting down here in the campfire light / With the ghost of old Tom Joad (Bruce Springsteen – The Ghost of Tom Joad Lyrics | Genius Lyrics)
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William "Willy" Loman is a fictional character and the protagonist of Arthur Miller's play Death of a Salesman, Loman is a 63-year-old travelling salesman from Brooklyn, New York City with 34 years of experience with the same company. He endures a pay cut and a firing during the play. He has difficulty dealing with his current state and has created a fantasy world to cope with his situation. This does not keep him from multiple suicide attempts. (Continue reading note 1 at the bottom).
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Death of a Salesman is a 1966 American made-for-television film adaptation of the 1949 play of the same name by Arthur Miller. It was directed by Alex Segal and adapted for television by Miller. Lee J. Cobb reprised his role as Willy Loman and Mildred Dunnock reprised her role as Linda Loman from the original 1949 stage production.
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967-6 https://youtu.be/Y7lGIUzUKOE
NOTES:
NOTE 1: Willy Loman is an aging Brooklyn, New York salesman whose less than spectacular career is on the decline. He has lost the youthful verve of his past and his camaraderie has faded away. His business acumen is still at its peak, but he is no longer able to leverage his personality to get by. Time has caught up with him. The play presents Loman's struggle "to maintain a foothold in the upward-striving American middle class" while combating his own self-doubt that plagues him in reminders from the past that his life rests on unsolid ground. Loman, masterly played by Lee J. Cobb, play's the dominant character because who is his losing the battle against spiritual and economic defeat that provides the narrative spine of the play. Loman is a symbolic representation of millions of white collar employees who outlived their corporate usefulness. He lives in a world with delusions about how popular, famous, influential and successful he is and about the prospects for the success of his sons. His wife not only allows these delusions, but also buys into them, somewhat. His misplaced values of importance and popularity are shaken to the core by his declining ability to leverage those self-perceived traits successfully as he grows older. Willy Loman - Wikipedia
I know this blog is longer than a German sausage and if you consider the Spanish saying "Hay mas días que longaniza" which literally translated "There are more days than sausages", and if you get this far or just browsed down to this point, take your time to hear the complete blog, Rome wasn't built in a day.
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Tom Joad got out of the old McAlester Pen There he got his parole After four long years on a man killing charge Tom Joad come a-walkin' down the road, poor boy Tom Joad come a-walkin' down the road
Tom Joad, he met a truck driving man There he caught him a ride He said, "I just got loose from McAlester Pen On a charge called homicide A charge called homicide"
That truck rolled away in a cloud of dust Tommy turned his face toward home He met Preacher Casey, and they had a little drink But they found that his family they was gone He found that his family they was gone
He found his mother's old-fashioned shoe Found his daddy's hat And he found little Muley and Muley said "They've been tractored out by the cats They've been tractored out by the cats"
(Woody Guthrie – Do Re Mi Lyrics | Genius Lyrics)
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11fflower11 · 2 years
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hainesane · 4 years
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John Krasinski holding a framed photo of him as Jim Halpert.
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kihyyun · 4 years
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introvertedmebook · 5 years
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ljones41 · 4 years
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I just watched the two-part episode, “Niagara”, from Season Six of “THE OFFICE”.  It was about the wedding of Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly.  And I have to say that I enjoyed “Part 1″ very much.  However, I thought the whole situation regarding Jim and Pam’s actual wedding was one of the dumbest things I have seen, making their nuptials one of the dumbest in TV history, as far as I’m concerned.  Only Barry Allen and Iris West had a worse wedding ceremony during the “Crisis on Earth-X, Part 4″ episode from “LEGENDS OF TOMORROW”, because it was hijacked by the thoughtless and selfish Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak, thanks to fucking Marc Guggenheim.  But Jim and Pam’s wedding?  Sorry folks.  I thought it was dumb.
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The ending we all deserved... And we got it 😄
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getoutofmytown · 3 years
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happy birthday get out of my town
i love you and you are a thorn in my side i love to roll on and dig in deeper
thank YOU, EVERYONE!! for clicking and reading even one line; your support and your involvement and interest has been a source of priceless joy and encouragement
harry and james would not be in the shitstorm that they’re in without you, konami; thank you for them but they’re mine now, i’m treating them better than you could ever hope to
and of many humbled thanks to my incredible friend Ren who has been editing since ch10. (with currently at ch58, one might understand the gravity, and all it took was one simple offer from her to me............) i love you Ren; you have been an enormous influence on my writing skill and my storytelling. i think sometimes we could stab each other through the google doc, and yet you’re still here for the next one. you have been so supportive and endured so much. i adore you, but i also can’t find it in my heart to be sorry that i’ve got ch59 almost ready to go.
don’t touch that dial now, we’re just getting started..
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muvana · 5 years
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via Giphy
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muirmarie · 7 years
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re: other stories i'll never write, the office mash au is a doozie and a half, not least bc it starts w/ pam as a nurse and has her promoted to a major during the course of events that also involve her breaking up w/ her soldier fiancee roy. it also involves michael as a colonel-doctor that's in far, far, far over his head, ANGELA as the original head nurse (she's forced stateside after she gets pregnant + engaged to a visiting senator), dwight as a surgeon who also sometimes doubles as a vet because his dad's a country doc that does it ALL and dwight leans on a lot of those things he learned before he ever went to med school, OSCAR WHO IS GOING TO JUSTIFIABLY MURDER BOTH DWIGHT AND JIM BECAUSE HE IS THE THIRD SURGEON AND HE HAS TO SHARE THE SWAMP WITH THEM (also fight me yes he still has a thing w/ the visiting senator as well & YES HE HAS A LONG HEART TO HEART WITH ANGELA BEFORE SHE LEAVES, /YES/ SHE ENDS UP MOVING INTO HIS HOUSE WHEN SHE BREAKS UP W/ THE SENATOR AND HER PARENTS WON'T ALLOW HER TO COME BACK HOME BC SHE'S UNMARRIED AND PREGNANT). 
other things: ryan is the company clerk with the scheming ways and the attempts to get out of dodge (this somehow works when a visiting GENERAL makes him his personal clerk and he gets to go to TOKYO. lord that nightmare child.)  kelly & phyllis are also nurses.  kevin is the chef.  hE is TRYing HIS BesT oKAY.  erin comes in after angela leaves and pam becomes the head nurse. creed as the pastor who SEEMS TO HAVE A VERY COMPLICATED PAST BUT WE NEVER LEARN ALL OF IT???  andy replaces ryan as the clerk after ryan gets to fly off to tokyo. stanley straight-up throws andy's guitar into a minefield at one point.  stanley is the fourth surgeon (fifth i suppose counting michael), and he also sleeps in the swamp, but he can sleep through anything, which is SPECIFICALLY infuriating to oscar.  stanley also radically improves dwight & jim's still (just bc they're enemies doesn't mean they're not also besties) in the v beginning of the story, which has left dwight both impressed and scared of him. 
jim is the chief surgeon, and he went to medical school because his parents always wanted him to be a doctor, and it turns out he is indeed a damn good one, but it is not until he is in korea, patching bleeding and broken bodies together, that he realizes what it is he has chosen to do, and it is not until he is standing next to pam as they remove their bloody scrubs, a life once almost lost now narrowly saved just moments in their past, that he realizes how glad he is he chose to do this after all.  
but while this is an ensemble piece, let's reiterate pam: pam beesly, becoming a nurse because her father's life waxed and waned and she had always been trying to be Good Enough to save him; pam beesly attending her father's funeral and meeting roy, who had served in the army under her father; pam beesly enlisting because roy was low-key scared that she'd dear john him if he left her stateside and used her father's memory against her; pam beesly walking into the operating room for the first time in korea and seeing everything in only shades of red and green; pam beesly ground beneath angela's heel again and again until she finally pushes back, until months and months and months later they actually become something like friends, until one night pam will finally confide that roy is cheating on her, that he sent her a letter addressed to someone else, someone he calls his 'love', until one night angela will confide that she is pregnant and she is so so /scared/ bc senator robert might not be the One.  
angela is the one to recommend pam for the promotion to major. before this, though, pam breaks up with roy, and she and jim kiss in a heightened moment after a life-or-death situation, and pam always (always) always steers michael where he needs to be (holly will be a nurse that comes in towards the very end of the story), and dwight is as hard on her as he thinks he needs to be but always (always) always helping behind the scenes, and you don't go to war to find yourself but maybe it's not the war at all, maybe it's not the war or the bodies or the letters she reads to the men slowly recovering in the cots, the letters she writes for them when they can't hold a pen, the way some things seem so less important when her hands are in another person's body, holding them together. 
maybe she'd always get here. maybe it's the people that surround her. maybe it's just her. just pam. maybe when michael pins her gold leaves on, it's not the promotion, and it's not the army, and it's not the lives she's saved. maybe it's the way she stands up a little straighter. maybe it's as easy and as hard as that.
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