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ae-diaries · 1 year

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2022 in REVIEW

Had this in my drafts for so long. I'm a list-type-of-girl so I listed what God has done in the past year. Para mayroon din naman akong good memories and lessons na babalikbalikan. Now, I finally have the time to post it.

My birth month is already over. It became my favorite tradition to write my year-end reflections but I didn't have time doing this last December to February because I put my focus and energy on my loved ones, constants, and work.

Looking back, 2022 was tough, but I was tougher. It wasn't easy. At least for me. Madami akong iniiyak sa year na ito: my family's health issues, quarter-life crisis, and silent battles. They were too much to handle. Yet in those unbearably hard times, I never give up and lose hope knowing that God was holding the other end of the rope. Indeed, it has always been His grace and the people He used that saved and buoyed me to the surface that I will always be immensely grateful for.

Despite the stormy sea, God has won more victories in my life through and through. Those tough times gave me the opportunity to exercise my tenacity and draw me closer to God.

I LEARNED na may baon pa pala akong lakas kahit feeling ko ubos na ubos na ako, may bigla na lang dumarating na tulong at malasakit kapag feeling mo walang wala ka na at may Diyos na yayakapin ka at hindi ka pababayaan kapag feeling mo hindi mo na kaya.

I REALIZED that uncertainties will come along the way, but one thing is certain - He is always faithful to his promises. And that's what I want to fix my eyes on this 2023: the lens of 3Gs (Gratitude and God's Grace).

Ended the year with inner peace and gratitude.

I could say lahat ng pagsubok na pinagdaanan ko at ng pamilya ko ay may magandang kapalit. Photos (with caption) below wrapped up the higlights of my 2022. #SKL 😜

1. TATAY'S HOSPITALIZATION

(Me in the photo..after humagulhol to surrender Tatay's condition to Jesus...and to his doctors.)

The first quarter was truuuuly a turbulent period for our family. I was drowning in fear because of so many terrifying episodes during my father's hospitalization. And the worst part of it is when the doctors offered immediate intubation for tatay on the night of Feb. 13 because of his decrease in sensorium. At this moment, I exploded in tears as I/we prayed and surrendered his condition to Jesus. But what happened next was a testament of God's miracle: Tatay slowly opened his eyes a few hours before his intubation! Truth be told, you will never know that God is all you need, when God is all you have. Sa panahong hopeless kana, dito mo malalamang may Diyos ka nga pala na kumikilos. You just have to place your full trust and faith in Him. He is way maker, promise keeper and miracle worker. I also met the best and the most compassionate doctors He used as instruments.

It's humbling to say that serving my father is what I considered my biggest achievement in 2022. Nothing else comes close.

It was also in this season that my elder sister and her fam abroad got Covid-19. But then again, they made it through by God's grace.

2. ELYU TRAVEL

In April, a week after my father was discharged, I went on an unexpected solo trip to SFLU out of necessity. I felt God also brought me here to breathe, clear my mind off things, calm my storms, and somehow, reward me for what I'd been through. Dasurv? 😂

3. BABY MEGAN WAS BORN

3. In July 21, my sister gave birth to Baby Megan, my third niece. She's a rainbow baby. A new bundle of joy to our ever growing family.

However, it was also the month where Tatay got Covid-19 and I fell ill, too. My anxiety was kicking in again, but later on I realized, "Kelan ba kami pinabayaan ng Dyos?" He has always been faithful to us. We wouldn't survive this without Him.

4. THE RETURN OF F2F CLASSES

And then come August, the return of F2F classes. I feel blessed to have met a new breed of awesome learners under my care. They have brought context to my world.

5. A MASTER'S DEGREE HOLDER

And I never thought that despite my busyness and clutter at work, I would be able to have my thesis completed and finally received my master's degree at the Philippine Christian University at the same time. One for the books!

6. ALYESSA'S MILESTONE

In the same month, Alyessa, my younger sister, finally started her career abroad. I couldn't be more proud of her milestone. Pautang naman sis. 😂

7. BABY GIA'S CHRISTENING & 1ST BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION

We also celebrated baby Gia's (my second adorable niece) first birthday and christening last September. It was way memorable! (without lockdown and less restrictions, too)

8. ONE OF MY BIGGEST DREAMS WAS GRANTED!

Last October 24, I received an email - this I considered an early xmas gift from God - an answered prayer that I'd been longing to hear! All of my efforts and hardwork were all worth it.

9. A WELL-SPENT FAMILY VACATION

And last December became one of the most memorable Year-End parties we had in our fam. Plus, my eldest sister and her fam had finally spent their Christmas vacation in PH after 13 years. Everything was surreal. ❤️ Grateful is an understatement.

An dami kong drama, nag-bday lang naman ako. 😅

My wish? I didn't have anything in particular because all of the things that I'm experiencing right now are my answered prayers in the past. I put 2023 in Your hands.

#HERYear #Januarygirl #post-bday

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sariaminoras · 5 months

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Dragons Chapter 5 and the Slug Race

Hey, anyone who's still out there! First and foremost, apologies for the delay (it's hardly a delay, when I've been consistently uploading at embarrassingly year-long intervals, Jesus). Also, thank you, for still being here, and for being so patient and for still having faith!

Secondly, the link to the chapter.

Now... a bit of a rant/vent/explanation as to why it always takes so long for me to update this story. Under the "read more/keep reading".

Okay, so... I'm not gonna lie. A whole year is the time required to release a new, original book, not a new chapter for fanfiction. It's embarrassing, and it's frustrating, and it's extremely counter-productive towards my goal. It's... non-productive, really.

I don't have an "excuse" for that. My reason is many things, but I can boil them down to roughly two aspects.

The first, and the most important is, for many months now, I just didn't want to write. In general, really, but mostly, I didn't want to write for this fandom anymore, and not for this fic anymore. I've been spending a lot of my free time doing nothing productive (arts-wise); when I'm not with friends/family, or working/studying, I'm watching a TV series, YouTubing, or playing games. Sure, it's good to lay back and not do anything mentally taxing every now and again, but this has been setting me back on the personal goal of improving my writing (and the bonus side-quest of learning to draw).

I'm not sure why this is happening. I think I'm just a little tired. IRL stuff became bigger and more complex, requiring more of my time and disposition, and maybe I'm feeling like I don't want to do anything important whenever I get a break.

I really want to change that. I've been trying to follow a fixed schedule, that will break my free time up into "leisure" and "art/writing", but I'm having trouble following it through. I "binge" activities, rather than do a little bit of everything everyday, and I know that's something that I'll need to change in my behavior if I want to accomplish everything I set out to do. What's making that difficult is that I've been prioritizing some stuff, whilst others I'm not so inclined to do.

Which brings me to the second part of my "excuse". This story, Dragons. TL;DR, it's not bringing me any joy anymore, but I'm going to go into more detail on that.

My original plan for Dragons was to make it a domestic, pregnancy-romance story, focused on the condition and its symptoms, the shenanigans surrounding the novelty of a human-vampire hybrid "breeding", and the relationships between the characters, especially Alucard and Integra's, and how they developed as the pregnancy progressed.

I thought it would be easy. I thought it would be fun, and light-hearted, and simple to accomplish. I was wrong.

I don't know why, but I was wrong. I don't know what happened, exactly, that caused the story to drift away into... this. Into this monstruous, mentally-taxing narrative I am NOT prepared to write, and that I don't think I should be tackling right now. Not with the writing and reading experience I have at the moment.

It's so much bigger and more complex that I thought it would be. I'm aware I'm to blame for not having planned everything in its minute details, so stuff constantly changed as I got new ideas I wanted incorporated. Originally, I planned for Dragons to be roughly 3 to 4 chapters long, but now I'm looking at... what, 8, 10, and I'm pulling my hair out.

Whilst I did have character interactions in my mind, I did NOT intend for it to have any drama, especially not the kind of drama that it's driving towards. It was supposed to be shallow, something small and fun, but, instead, I'm feeling compelled to write these really long, drawn-out dramatic scenes, and all these """"""cHArAcTEr mOmENts"""""" that had absolutely no business in the original draft, and that I feel really insecure doing because I don't really know how to write that.

This chapter, chapter 5, didn't even include everything that I planned on delivering, and maybe that's my fault too, for not really knowing how to pace and structure a story. It's infuriating that it's been a whole year and I update with... so little and non-rewarding... a chapter that it's, like, mid-conflict, and not properly going anywhere, kinda. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and I feel like I'm disappointing not only the brave souls who are still around (bless you), but also myself.

Maybe this also plays some part on my lack of interest, but I'm just not super into Hellsing as I was, when I first started posting Dragons. It sucks, but it's life. I don't really like working like that, not completely into the thing, feeling like it's an obligation and not a hobby I fully enjoy, but there's not much I can do about that; I refuse to abandon ship, and I can't force myself to become "obsessed" with Hellsing again (or, can I? I don't know).

There's also the language barrier, which takes some of my time, and the fact that I want to write more... "poetically"? My writing feels too sterile and "technical", I think, and I want it to sound more like a melody and less like a speech, and I know that I'll only get there if I read and write MORE, but it's still an added layer of consumption of my time and mental effort. Writing narrative, for me, is a struggle, but, when I complain about it, like I'm doing now, I also feel like I'm bitching for no reason, and putting effort into it is the bare minimum I should be doing. Still, it would be nice if it were a little less difficult, aha.

I'm not going to do like last time and "promise I'll (try) to do better". What I CAN assure anyone, though, is that I will absolutely finish this story (I hate engaging with someone else's work, and then having the creator just drop it, but this is merely a personal feeling and I'm not trying to pass judgement on anyone, people have their reasons), and that I will, eventually, when the story allows, incorporate the silly, pregnancy shenanigans that I originally wanted. As soon as the characters calm the F down.

Whilst Dragons took this crazy turn, I, at the very least, got most of it roughly planned and bullet-pointed. I have a direction, even though I can't be sure the path won't curve and spin to get to the end. Whatever, it's there for me to write; I just need to actually sit down and do it.

So... here we are, at the end of this vent. I have no idea when the next chapter will be uploaded. Sorry for the zero guarantees, sorry for always taking so long, and THANK YOU, for anyone, who's still, somehow, around, and following this story. You are the real heroes. T__T

#hellsing #hellsing fanfiction #alucard x integra #integra x alucard #alutegra

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okpow · 1 year

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NFL 2022 Mid Season Progress Report ___> Who Sucks, Who’s About to Blow the Fuck Up Out of Nowhere, WHO’S WINNING THE SUPERB OWL, WHO’S THE YOUNG BLACK DREW BREES, AND MUCH MORE CLICK RIGHT FUCKING HERE TO LEARN ABOUT IT WHATS WRONG WITH YOU??//-- ---->>>

(above: a legit MVP candidate)

So now that the NFL season is half over we can begin to make some assumptions about how it all plays out. Now that we have some observable patterns to go by. A “sample size” as they might call it in “muh paper on the wall academic circle jerk.” pssssh. Ain’t nothing academic about this. Below is the MOST IMPORTANT NFL ARTICLE OF 2022. Shout out to Dr. Z of SI.

OUTRAGED Academic Circle JERK Member: Excuse me, sir.... sir... can you substantiate your claims with any research or peer reviews? Any empirical evidence? What exactly are your so-called claims based on?

Me: Nothing. I made them all up. Fuck you!

*cue up the Fastest Three Minutes in Sports Chris Berman Circa 1998 ESPN EATING DINNER WITH YOUR FAMILY AT 6:45 PM ON A SUNDAY WITH THE TV ON music*

Elijah Moore Will BLOW THE FUCK UP

This is not a joke - this fucker is way too talented to be balling so weakly and I think that changes. Maybe not this week *checks schedule* AT NEW ENGLAND JESUS CHRIST! but soon. I think the Jets will be forced to play more pass heavy and check out their schedule coming up:

At Pats NO but then....

Home to Bears

At Vikings

At Bills

Home to Loins

Home to Jags

At Seahawks

At Dolphins

There’s lots of fantasy garbage goodness to be had for Moore and again, he’s way too talented not to be getting the ball now that Breece is RIP.

Who Sucks

The fuckin’ cornball Broncos and their “Buy my new footlong, it’s called the Danger-Wich” Subway shilling QB Russ Wilson WHO HAS BEEN EXPOSED AS A CARROLLBABY AND A METCALFBABY.

Others Receiving Votes include the Cardinals and their “high octane air raid offense that is 30th in the league or whatever the fuck” the Texans and the Panthers.

Bryce Young is the Black Drew Brees

He’s small, maybe too small, but he should absolutely be the #1 pick in next year’s NFL draft. He’s come up big in crunch time on multiple occasions and shown the “it” factor it takes to succeed in the NFL. The scary thing is that his stats should look even better, but he’s suffered a 8.1% drop rate from his receivers this year. His size could scare teams off in a talented quarterback class, but it’s about the only knock on his game.

Derrick Henry is the HNIC 4EAE

It’s becoming clear that Derrick Henry will probably follow Adrian Peterson’s lead as an elite running back who plays well past his expected 4-5 year elite shelf life. Henry is fantasy’s safest bet at RB YES EVEN IN DYNASTY MAYBE, has immense ceiling potential each week and will continue to destroy everything in his path for several more years. HE ALSO THROWS TOUCHDOWNS and is probably the greatest running back of all time. When Round 1 in ReDraft rolls around next year you can do much worse than Henry early and often.

Tee Higgins is a Very Strong Play This Week

That is all.

Who Wins The Superb Owl?

The NFL script at the moment is basically as follows - Brady gets into the playoffs in a weak division, defeats Dallas at home and then the Eagles on the road in a shocker. Then they play the Vikings in a night game for the NFC Title and Captain Kirk shits the bed. Something like that. Meanwhile the Chiefs and Bills are on a collision course but one of these teams gets upset by the Titans who then lose in the AFC Title Game to either the remaining Mahomes or Allen. Brady defeats either Mahomes (again) or Allen TO WIN THE OWL and then leaves Tampa to sign with the 49ers in the off-season.

#NFL football #tom brady #nfl

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dissociaticn · 3 years

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he’s submissive, meek and/or innocent (misconceptions meme)

MEME // ACCEPTING // ANONYMOUS

Ew. Yeah, let’s debunk these misconceptions stat. This is really a two part question so I’m gonna go ahead and break it up..

He’s submissive

People who see Kabuto as submissive are 100% correct in their assumption. He has a long history of relying on dominate personalities or entities for direction/purpose. Whether it’s Orochimaru, Danzo, or “Mother” Kabuto has historically needed someone to tell him ‘this is the way’. This submissiveness is, at least in part, by choice.

This is not to say that Kabuto can’t step up. He’s decisive. Knows how to get the job done. It’s simply that he’s aware of his own shortcomings and while he’s entirely capable of operating on his own volition, perhaps even exceeding the efficiency of those he serves, he’d much rather take a backseat. He receives a sense of power and accomplishment by pulling strings from behind the scenes. After all, he started his shinobi career as a spy. Disappearing into the shadows it quiet literally his specialty.

He’s meek and/or innocent

I’m assuming this is in reference to the ‘poor baby’ Kabuto narrative that’s been floating around since the end of Naruto Shippuden. Now, to be clear, Kabuto was a victim. He was an orphan without a past and Danzo took advantage of this. Then, he was a spy who was no longer needed by the organization which he had sacrificed everything to. Orochimaru took advantage of this (although the other option was death). But Kabuto is not a fool. While Orochimaru may have seized upon an opportunity in which Kabuto was most vulnerable Kabuto is no fool. He never had a belief that Orochimaru simply took him in out of the goodness of his heart.

While Kabuto may not have engaged in the number of crimes which he did under Orochimaru there is no real excuse for his actions. Kabuto is just as guilty as Orochimaru. There’s no other way to put it. Nobody is that proactive, innovative, and enthusiastic unless they really like their job.

Also, since I forgot to hit on it. Kabuto wasn’t even “meek” as a child, just shy. And he literally grew into a guy who kicked children (and probably yelled at old ladies?? idk he’s not a nice guy)

#⌈ᴋᴀʙᴜᴛᴏ ʏᴀᴋᴜsʜɪ⌋ ⋯ (meta.)#/ i guess this is meta?? kinda canon shit but w/e #this has been rotting in my drafts for 5 years #yeah #FIVE #probably longer tbh #jesus this is an old blog #♫ → ° ɪɴ ʜɪᴍ ɪ ᴛᴀsᴛᴇᴅ ᴅɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ ° (seineijashu.)

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ceilingfan5 · 3 years

Note

for the au thing i don’t know if it counts but i want more facts about the teacher au

you’re INDULGING ME I KNOW THIS but im gonna LET YOU bc i CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THIS AU

LET’S GO

1. taako never intended to be a teacher, he just sort of fell into it bc of a job he had in college, and then he started subbing and he was like. oh shit. oh. oh man. i could do this. and SWITCHED HIS DEGREE AT LIKE THE LAST MINUTE AND HAD TO DO A LOT MORE SCHOOL but he was SO MUCH FUCKING HAPPIER

2. part of the reason he got into it tho is that he was considered a “challenging kid” and he has So Many complaints about his teachers throughout the years. of which there were many bc he and lup got shifted around so fucking much, which didnt help with him being an absolute little shit who just needed someone to notice he needed support

3. he had a whole ass identity crisis when he student taught, and he was so scared, like. am i gonna fuck these kids up?? am i going to ruin their tiny little futures??? he actually started in middle school and went younger when he Had To Get Out of a job and he was like fuck it it’s only one year, i can find another school when this year is over if i have to BUT HE FUCKING LOVED IT!!!!! THESE TINY PEOPLE ADORE HIM!!! AAAH

4. he loves teaching them big words he loves teaching them weird shit to say to their parents he loves wearing weird shit to school he loves getting drawings he loves watching the lightbulbs come on he loves watching them learn to read he loves completely abandoning the lesson plan and doing a whole day on a weird question he loves saying batshit nonsense and backing it up he loves getting down with them and playing aaahh

5. also in this au kravitz works at a casino!!! ive done kravitz as a high school teacher in the past but i thought this would be fun also. he has a lot of fun with it and it’s both nice and hard that he works later in the day. like in the minific he could bring taako lunch!!! but then it’s hard that sometimes taako has to go to bed without him. it’s a tradeoff. he works in guest satisfaction and gets lots of gifts from his high rollers and fucking loves to treat taako and take him out to nice restaurants and stuff!!! idk how they met in this one but it was something stupid and theyve been head over heels ever since. everyone was like. oh my god thats not going to work. but it DID so THERE!!!! krav loves to listen to taako gush or complain about his kids and his day and hes so supportive and full of love fuck i love them so much guys

PLOT TWIST! YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE BUT IM FUCKING NOT!!!!!!! @herbgerblin mentioned taako with tiny WIZARD STUDENTS can you IMAGINE!!!! FUCK!!!! SAME AU BUT MAGICER 1. they all have tiny wizard hats and lil safety star wands and taako complains every year that that shit is on the supply list but then they show up on day one all excited and vibrating and he has to try really hard not to cry about it

2. he still teaches fucking math and reading and science and art and shit FUCK a certain particular series. education rules. also i care so fuckin much about this listen i have an original story about a teacher in a super power universe and shes a villain but you probably didnt want to hear about that youre here for taz but if you want to press that button you’re fuckin in for it pal (ailem i know you personally love that particular thing and i love you) but THIS IS ABOUT TAZ

3. GOD that would be so stressful ALSO having to teach magic?? jesus when is there time for intervention?? FUCK! but LISTEN!!!! teaching 25 little tiny kids cantrips and shit!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! draw a picture of your handsome teacher with mage hand everybody!!! no! handsomer!!!!!!!! jamie you’re doing perfectly sweetie

4. this could have gone in the top half and would have made more sense but first draft only draft amirite BUT taako’s so fucking good with the “challenging students” bc he GETS them and especially in this au tweest he’s so good at calming a kid whos like. getting overwhelmed and having like a magic storm and like other teachers might be like god i cant believe i had to deal with another tantrum today and taakos meanwhile like sat on the floor with the kid and calmed them down and reminded them he’s there and made them laugh and cool down

sidenote listen maybe they arent all wizards. or dnd wizards. sit down. let’s talk about the class system. i have a lot of thoughts actually. what do you MEAN you want me to move on

5. IMAGINE MAGIC PROJECT BASED LEARNING!!!! FUCK!!! IMAGINE LETTING THE KIDS LOOSE ON THE PLAYGROUND TO PLAY MAGIC TAG BUT HE STARTS AS IT!!!!!!!!! IMAGINE A KID WHO STRUGGLES W READING FINDING THEIR FOOTING IN MAGIC AND TAAKO BEING SO FUCKING PROUD AND USING IT AS A WINDOW TO GET THEM TO LIKE STORIES!!!!!!! IMAGINE

okay im calm.

#idk what to tag this as but i love u #thank u for letting me go off

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babyboibucky · 3 years

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Babysitting Bucky - Part 5

Pairing: FATWS!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,368

Summary: You’ve been assigned by the government to keep an eye on the Winter Soldier to ensure that he was no longer a threat to the world.

A/N: It has begun lmfao, check out the link at the end of this post if you’d like to be tagged in the next updates! Would love to receive feedbacks!

MASTERLIST

You found yourself in the conference room of the Avengers compound, together with Sam, Bucky, Sharon and Fury discussing about an upcoming mission.

Sharon went over the brief of the mission with everyone. There was an intel about a certain drug cartel that decided to expand their business and venture into the trade of biological weapons as well. Grabbing the folder on the desk, you skimmed through the information and frowned when your eyes landed on a familiar name.

“Black Sparrow? I thought the entire organization was taken down during the raid years ago?” You asked.

Bucky turned to you, “You know these guys?”

“One of my first missions, I was the assigned liaison officer to check up on the whistleblower who was placed under the witness protection program.” You explained.

Sharon sighed, “Apparently, not everyone was imprisoned. Whoever decided to keep the organization going, we have no idea.”

The mission required all of you to find out about the illegal trades. There wasn’t much information provided, except for the tip that an important trade might be taking place soon.

“Black Sparrow’s nest is said to be hidden within a fruit shop downtown.” Sharon added.

Fury let Sam takeover the strategizing, with him deciding to do a stakeout to see how the organization operates. Once the trade takes place, raid the nest, find out the other groups involved and most importantly the source of biological weapons.

“You up for a stakeout, Buck?” Sam asked.

Bucky shrugged and glanced at you, “Only if the babysitter agrees to do so.”

You let out an exasperated breath, “Mister Barnes, I would appreciate it if you’d address me properly.” You scolded.

Sam cleared his throat, “Alright. Sharon and I will try to research on the potential groups involved in the trades. Stakeout starts tonight so pack your things.”

All your things have been packed and you were about to leave your room when you received a call from none other than Secretary Ross.

“Ugh, what does he want now?” You complained to yourself before accepting the call.

“I heard about the stakeout, Agent. Isn’t it convenient?”

You rolled your eyes; the secretary’s voice was too chirpy, as if he was excited. He was definitely up to something, what it was, you still didn’t know. Something about the mission you were tasked to do was off. They didn’t even tell you for how long you needed to tag along the Winter Soldier.

“Yes, sir. I will make sure to keep an eye on the subject and report whatever it is that I find out of place.” You reassured, hoping that the secretary would simply hum in agreement and end the call.

“Good. But wouldn’t it be better if you stir things up a bit?” He asked.

You frowned, “I don’t understand what you mean, sir.”

Secretary Ross chuckled, “Push his buttons, Agent. See how he reacts to certain triggers.”

God, he really wants you to dig some dirt on Bucky. You were supposed to tell him that you already tried doing so and that nothing bad happened, but the Secretary reminded you that he wanted to see a detailed report about it and ended the call.

You didn’t want to push Bucky’s buttons anymore. Bringing up the Soldat seemed too much already and he had already proven how much in control he was of himself. However, you felt conflicted as well since you needed to file a report. You could easily fake it though, but you were afraid that the secretary might have eyes and ears lurking around.

You were too deep into your thoughts, almost losing track of the time. Thankfully, FRIDAY interrupted and informed you that Bucky and Sam were already outside the compound, waiting for you.

“You’re eight minutes late, Agent.” Sam reprimanded as you approached them.

“Did you have a hard time packing Bucky’s diapers and feeding bottles?” He teased.

Bucky grunted in dismay, “Jesus, Sam.”

“Sorry, had to take a phone call from the secretary.” You responded and began placing your things inside the trunk of the car.

Bucky stiffened at the mention of Secretary Ross, his hands tightened into fists at his side. You eyed his stance and noticed that he seemed uncomfortable. Who wouldn’t be if the government had their eyes on you?

“Nothing to worry about, Mister Barnes. You’re all good. I made sure of that.” You told him reassuringly before sliding into the passenger’s seat.

Bucky drove to the stakeout location with an uncomfortable silence in the air with the occassional directions coming from the GPS. You were slightly nervous about being on a week-long stakeout. It wasn’t because you were afraid of Bucky, but being with him by yourself was intimidating.

Seven days with the Winter Soldier. With no one else around.

You and the Winter Soldier. On a stakeout. For an entire week.

The more you thought about it, the more it was beginning to sink in. You’ve had your fair share of stakeouts in the past, but you were either by yourself or paired someone you closely worked with. But a stakeout with Bucky Barnes? How the fuck were you going to keep calm the entire week and maintain your calm persona?

“So...” Bucky trailed, tone unsure as if he too was uncomfortable with the silence and decided to break it but not knowing how to proceed.

“Do you want to turn on the radio?” He asked and cleared his throat, keeping his gaze on the road.

You looked out the window, “Yeah, why not.” You said with faux nonchalance.

Bucky quickly turned it on and adjusted the volume. He skimmed through various radio stations before settling on one.

Despite having the radio playing in the background, the atmosphere between you and Bucky remained awkward and uncomfortable. You could tell that Bucky could feel it too, so you decided to start a conversation.

“How has it been being an Avenger?”

You didn’t know why you chose that question, but it was the first thing that popped into your mind.

Bucky let out a soft chuckle, “Is that part of your research on me or are you actually trying to start a conversation?” He asked, glancing at you with amusement.

“You know what, forget about it, Mister Barnes.” You waved off.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I was genuinely curious.” He sheepishly responded, “But to answer your question, it’s been...weird so to speak. Especially having someone watch my every move.”

You shrugged, “Well, I apologize but I don’t have a choice. This is my job and I have to—“

“I know, Agent. You don’t need to explain, I completely understand. I’m really trying not to make it hard for you to do your job.” He explained.

You were actually surprised at how easy it was to talk to Bucky. You were expecting him to be completely broody and tight-lipped, considering all the things he went through. There were times when he’d be moody of course, but for the most part, he was friendly. And very kind.

“Well then I appreciate it, Mister Barnes.” You stated.

Bucky let out a breathy laugh, “I’m still looking forward to the day when you’d call me, Bucky.” He said and gave you a smile.

You felt your face heat up from the way he smiled at you and how his eyes crinkled at the sides. He almost looked the same as he did in his photos dated back to the 40’s, when he was oozing with that boyish charm and innocence before he was drafted for the war.

You immediately looked away and bit your lip.

The two of you arrived at the cheap motel that was situated a few blocks away from the fruit shop. The building was old and almost looked dilapidated. It was known to be the number one spot for illegal transactions. It was the perfect place for a stakeout.

“The old lady at the reception seemed suspicious of us, I saw how she eyed the both of us when we checked in.” You said upon entering the motel room, groaning at the stench that welcomed your nostrils.

Obviously, the room was far from decent given the quality of the motel itself. There were two beds separated by a night desk and a small coffee table; the cream curtains were splotchy and dusty, some parts of the wallpaper were torn apart and the flooring creaked with every single step.

“I think she was merely judging us, thinking we’re one of those couples.” Bucky said as he placed his bags on the bed.

“Those couples?” You asked, walking over to the other bed and inspecting the bedding.

“Well, I heard this motel is a popular location for shooting x-rated videos.” Bucky explained casually as he walked towards the window, pushing the curtains aside, revealing the perfect view of Black Sparrow’s nest.

You almost choke on your own spit, “You mean to say...that old lady thought we were going to shoot porn?!”

Bucky hummed, “Maybe. It’s probably for the best, that way we’ll remain unsuspicious. Less chances of being interrupted as well.” he replied casually, as if it was no big deal but you also noticed that the corner of his lips curved into a slight smirk.

Clearing your throat, you regained your composure and went to unpack your things instead, starting with some of the weapons you brought. A stakeout often resulted to a raid so you had to make sure that you were prepared in case of an attack. Bucky moved away from the window and closed the curtains again before sitting on his bed.

“Those all yours?” he asked with interest as he watched you arrange your knives and guns on top of your bed.

You glanced at him for a quick second and saw the glint in his eyes as he observed your arsenal, you just hummed in response and started cleaning your guns while Bucky watched in silence.

“When we sparred...” he trailed and you froze, expecting him to confront you when you brought up the Soldat to trigger him.

“You used Romanoff’s technique. Where did you learn that?” he asked.

You shrugged, “Mister Barnes, it’s not that hard to learn that move. I’m just as trained as you and Mister Wilson, I know a lot of moves.” you explained but Bucky didn’t seem to buy it.

“It’s actually kinda hard to execute that move. Not a lot of trained agents can do that easily.” he pressed.

You pursed your lips before looking up at him, “Sounds to me like you’re trying to compliment my skills, Mister Barnes.”

Bucky ended up letting go of the topic.

The first few hours of the stakeout was uneventful; you and Bucky simply kept watch to see whether there were suspicious movements in the fruit shop. It seemed to be a regular fruit shop but there were certain people walking in and out of it that looked pretty shady.

This was going to be a difficult task.

There were small conversations between you and Bucky, mostly formal and about the mission. Everything seemed to be going well but you knew that the longer the both of you would stakeout together, the more it was going to be uncomfortable. You figured that you’d cross that bridge when you get there.

It was past six when you felt a pang of hunger; the last time you had a meal was during lunch. You needed to get food before your stomach could even embarrass you in front of Bucky who remained staring out of the window, keeping watch.

“I’m getting us food for dinner, would you like anything?” you asked.

Bucky shook his head, “Anything is fine.” he offered a small smile.

You left the motel and thankfully, there was a nearby Mcdonald’s a couple blocks away. On your way back, you decided to casually pass by the fruit shop to get a closer look. You didn’t want to linger around but you did notice that there were certain people who kept on going in and out of the store throughout the day. You rushed back to your room to inform Bucky about it and upon stepping inside, you were welcomed by the sight of the Winter Soldier fresh out of the shower wearing only a towel that was wrapped around his waist while he was drying his hair with another towel.

Your eyes immediately zoomed in on the droplets of water that was running from Bucky’s neck down to his pecs, sliding lower to his chiseled abs. Your eyes remained on his abdomen, even when the water had disappeared into the towel around his waist. By the time you snapped out of your trance, you shifted your gaze back to Bucky’s face hoping that he didn’t catch you staring at his body.

Oh, but it was too late because your eyes were immediately met by a pair of baby blues.

“I...b-bought...” you stammered and wanted to slap yourself for sounding like an idiot. “...dinner from uh...Burger King.” you continued, unable to look away from Bucky’s piercing gaze.

“Mcdonald’s.” he said.

“What?”

“You bought from Mcdonald’s...not Burger King.” Bucky corrected you, pointing towards the brown paper bag in your hands.

You coughed and finally managed to look away from Bucky’s half-naked figure, “Yes, I meant Mcdonald’s. Sorry.” you softly said and pre-occupied yourself by taking out the food from the paper bag and placing them on the small table.

As you focused your attention on arranging the food on the desk, you felt Bucky hover behind you. His bare chest slightly pressing against your back as he reached for the french fries that was still inside the paper bag. You stood still and tried to keep your cool despite the closeness between you and Bucky. He pulled away just as quickly and grinned when you looked back at him with a frown.

“You smell good, Agent.” he said before grabbing his clothes from his bed and walking back into the bathroom to get dressed.

You blinked a couple of times before you realized what had just happened.

“Fuck!” you whispered under your breath.

This was going to be one hell of a stakeout.

Babysitting Bucky Tag List:

@chipilerendi @procrastinationinawriter @supraveng @sammypotato67 @grace-writes-shit @tanyaherondale @dev-loves-siri @ahahafudge @nerdgirl0824 @thomasthetankson @its-yasbxtch

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14

#bbbwrites #babysitting bucky #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader #sebastian stan

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what-the-witch-stuff · 3 years

Text

Landings Through the Grapevine

Chapter 2: Unfulfilled Expectations

Masterpost: here Go to: Ch.1 | Ch.2 |

_________________________

"I have news for you. One good, one bad" Shane said hours after the dance, when everyone was busy cleaning the place up. "Wait! Help me with that table first...Allright. Shoot". Shane grabbed the other side of the table and together they heaved it off the ground to carry it back to Marnie's farm. The path that led to the narrow bridge which divided the forest clearing from the rest of the village, was not large enough for them to carry the table side by side. So Shane volunteered to walk backwards while Riley gave directions. For a few moments Shane didn't say anything but occasionally looked at something over her shoulder. Then he lowered his voice:

"Ok, so...Mr. Darcy" – that was code for Elliott – "has been mingling with my aunt for almost the entire festival and now they both keep looking over at you".

"What?"

"Don't look! I didn't want to say it earlier, because I wasn't sure. But given how Marnie has been really chatty today, I bet she's playing matchmaker again"

"Oh for fuck's sake! What about Elliott?"

"Don't know, maybe he finally figured out that you don't understand his poems, or something"

"Shane!"

„I'm kidding. Don't act so horrified. Also, it's true!"

„No! It's not."

„Okay. Remember the poem he 'gifted' you at the Feast of the Winter Star? What was that about?"

Riley was preparing to answer him in a know-it-all manner but soon realised that she had actually no idea what to say. She hoped her death glare would shut him up for good. Alas, it didn't.

„You can give me the evil eye all you want. I already cringed to death when he started performing it in front of the goddam tree."

„Maybe a few metaphors and references go over my head sometimes, but that's because I never read much poetry before.

„Or maybe his writing is as inflated as his ego"

„Stop! For Yoba's sake, just tell me what's up with him!

„How should I know?"

„Then why tell me?"

"I thought you would want to know these things"

"Well, what does he look like? Does he look upset or anything?"

"Ehm",– at that Shane peeked back over her shoulder, looking rather pained as he tried to awaken his interpersonal skills: "Well he looks like a schmock, so nothing new there. Maybe that's just his –oh shit!"

"What?!"

"He's coming"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Stop! Jesus, Riley have you never been to highschool? You don't look at people you're talking shit about."

"Ok! ok, act natural !"

"You're the only one acting like a headless chicken", he hissed under his breath.

"Well, maybe I would be calmer if you –"

Shane dropped his side of the table. It came to the ground with a soft thud and Riley almost lost her footing from the sudden yank it caused on her side, forcing them to an immediate stop shortly before the bridge. This interrupted Riley's tirade and in hindsight saved her some embarrassment, as Elliott appeared by her side soon after, brushing a strain of hair behind his ear : "Good day, you two. I am so very sorry I didn't get to chat with you sooner. Can I help you with that?", he asked, having seen them struggle but obviously mistaking the situation at hand. Before Riley could even say anything, Shane intervened again : "Glad that you ask!" he said in an overly friendly manner while stretching theatrically and making a face: "My back is killing me! If you don't mind, I'd rather go see if I can help with something else" and with the blink of an eye, Shane and Elliott had switched places.

"You're welcome!", Shane murmured while brushing past her and he was gone. Meanwhile Elliott was getting into position and testing the table's weight while Riley could do nothing but watch him dumbfounded. When he noticed her staring, Elliot winked: "Shall we then?"

"YES! I mean, sure. Thanks for the help", If Riley's face looked as flushed as it felt right then and there, Elliott was gentleman enough to pretend not to notice. "Please, don't thank me! I should have been more involved with the preparations to begin with. I was just so caught up with my newest draft, that I had forgotten all about the dance until a few days ago. Oh, also, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything between you and Shane?", he added, leaning slightly towards her in mock-conspiracy.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it did look like you've been arguing, before I came over. I hope it was nothing serious"

"Ehm... I was just worried. His, eh... his 'back pain' is quite bad, but he didn't want to bother Harvey during a holiday", Riley lied between her teeth, as they made their way over the narrow bridge.

"Poor fellow, no wonder he seemed rather miffed today. But he danced like a champ!", Elliott stated sympathetically.

"Yes, he knows how much it means to Emily and didn't want to let her down"

"See, I was wondering about that a little. I did expect the two of you to be dancing today"

At that, Riley tripped over nothing, looking at Elliott with such astonishment that she almost forgot to warn him about the slight slope the path would be taking, shortly after the bridge.

"Sorry, who?"

"Well, you and Shane….?"

"Huh?"

Elliott then must have come to some sort of realisation, for it was now his turn to look flushed and embarrassed.

"Oh, Let the greater part of the news thou hearest be the least part of what thou believest." he exclaimed ruefully and smiled at her apologetically: " I should have known better than to make assumptions. I am sorry, Riley. It was something I overheard, please pay no mind to it!"

Riley suppressed the urge to ask him if he had been quoting Shakespeare again, as in 5 times out of 7 she had already been wrong. And by now, she had the nagging suspicion that Elliott chose anything but Shakespeare, just to mess with her. Instead, she stammered: "N-No, it's fine! Shane and I are close, but we are just friends...'', and almost Riley would have given into the temptation of adding something like: '...just as you and Leah, if I am not mistaken?'. But she discarded that idea as soon as it came to her. Too obvious. Though Riley was dying to get her hands on any piece of information about what kind of relationship he and the artist were cultivating, she had to be careful. The last thing she needed was the awkwardness of unrequited feelings or the loss of a friendship because of it. However, remembering Shane's assumption regarding Marnie, she continued : "...Though I do believe Marnie wouldn't mind me as her niece-in-law. But neither Shane or I see that ever happening,". She then laughed. But, following her gut instinct, she kept an eye out for Elliott's reaction, who, still dealing with his own embarrassment, couldn't help but wince slightly.

Bingo.

Shane's words were practically echoing in the back of her mind: I bet she's playing matchmaker again.

– ‘Yes she is and you won't like to find out with whom exactly', Riley thought grimly.

To say this was news to her would be a lie, sadly. Last year it had been just a few questions, if Riley was seeing someone, or if she fancied someone from the village already. Before long, Marnie had gotten more obvious about her actual motivation: "Have you met my nephew, yet? Shane. He is from Zuzu-City too. Oh, I need to introduce you to each other, next time you visit."

But said introduction flopped big-time. It had been difficult. Well, Shane had been. But Riley now knew that this wasn't anything personal. She had involuntarily witnessed his downward spiral until the fateful day at the cliffs, where Shane had finally hit rock bottom. Since then he was getting the help he needed and they could manage having a conversation that wasn't ending in a disaster. Nevertheless, as she and Shane clearly never hit it off, Riley thought that Marnie had moved on and was satisfied with talking her up to some other bachelor instead. Apparently, she had been wrong. "Please, do not believe that I usually engage in petty gossip." Elliott exclaimed and Riley knew, if his hands were free, he would probably underline his words with some dramatic gesture: " This is not why I wanted to talk to you. I would never bother you with such shallow conversation!". They finally reached Marnie's farmhouse and were greeted by Gunther and Clint, who were busy sorting Marnie's belongings back to where they belonged. Soon Elliott and Riley were relieved of their task and hurriedly shooed away. "Riley, you did enough! You've been here all day and surely your farm does not run itself", Gunther called over his shoulder as he and Clint disappeared into the house, leaving Elliott and Riley to themselves. „Well, I don't want to keep you from your duties..." Elliott eventually said rather deflated, after some seconds of them just standing there.

„It's fine! Really. I have time to chat."

„Are you sure? I would hate to inconvenience you", though Riley could easily tell that Elliott was just saying that to stay polite.

„You aren't, believe me. What did you want to talk about originally?"

Elliott immediately straightened his posture, his demeanour getting more relaxed as Riley's question offered him the chance to return their conversation back towards familiar territory.

He suspensefully cleared his throat.

"I wanted to thank you, for you have played a significant role regarding my latest draft. Well, draft is a bit much. It's more of an outline, actually."

"Really?!", Riley could not believe her ears. This was like the beginning of some obscure fever dream, where Elliott would finally announce her as his muse and declare his undying love for her…. Totally hypothetically of course, because Riley would never fantasize about such a corny situation! Ever.

"Yes! For as much as I frequent the library, I just recently noticed the marvellous collection of exhibits you have been providing to the museum. I would've never thought for our tiny valley to be such a place of wonder and history! I must be honest, my latest works were getting nowhere and I dreaded starting a new manuscript. I had gotten quite far with my latest piece. But all these treasures have ignited a new spark within me. Now I can hardly put my pen to rest. But I need more inspiration!". Elliott got more excited the more he talked. It was no longer just polite enthusiasm but an almost childlike delight that made his eyes sparkle in a way she rarely got to see on him.

"Oh that's wonderful! But how can I help you with that?" Riley was getting somewhat confused. If Elliott needed more information on the artifacts, he would be better off talking to Guntehr instead. And following that line of thought, Riley couldn't really fathom what Elliott needed of her, to fuel his newfound inspiration.

"It's about this Adventurer's Guild..."

The answer was: absolutely nothing.

"Oh", Riley tried not to sound or even look unhappy about this revelation and Elliott seemed too fixated on his own issues to notice anything, for he continued talking: "I have seen you standing next to that older gentleman, today. What was his name again?"

"Marlon?"

"Yes! He is the guild's leader, I suppose ?"

"Eh, yes, you could call him that."

"I would like to ask him a few questions. I would love to hear some of his adventures. He looks like a man who has many stories to tell. However, I struggle to get a hold of him!

Surely, I tried asking around. But before today, I didn't even know whose company he keeps. I have never seen him in town either, other than during holidays, which is why I had hoped to talk to him today. But shortly after the dance I lost sight of him and he was gone! I could tear my hair out, Riley! That man is like a ghost. How am I supposed to write about fantastic tales of danger, when I have no authentic experience to write from?!" Elliott had talked himself into such a frenzy, that he ended up being short of breath. While he needed a moment to collect himself, Riley used this pause to talk some sense into him.

"Well, you will be happy to hear that the guild building is actually very easy to find. It's right next to the entrance to the mines.", she informed him, trying to push away the feeling of disappointment. "Office hours are between 2 pm to 10 pm. Normally, entrance is only allowed for adventurers only, but technically you would be considered a potential client. And If you really cannot get in, then Clint, Willy and I see Marlon often enough that we can relay a message to him." "Is that so? Thank you so much, I knew I could count on you! I will seek him out first thing tomorrow!". With that he made his goodbyes and hurried back towards the meadow, presumably to find Leah and share his progress with her. She looked after him until his silhouette disappeared from her sight and with a groan Riley decided that it was indeed time to head back to her farm. The gleeful excitement she had felt at the prospect of being alone with Elliott, had vanished to sober disillusion. She wasn't even in the mood to get worked up over the whole Marnie-situation. Therefore, she decided to no longer think about whatever had transpired today. That would be future-her's issue to deal with. When Riley entered the premises to her own farm, the sight of the seemingly endless plot of land filled her with awe, like it did everytime. Proudly, she watched her cows, chicken and ducks peacefully napping in the sun and listened to the faint rustling of leaves above her head, as she finally made her way towards home.

#stardew valley elliott #stardew elliott #stardew valley #sdv fanfic #sdv farmer #elliott stardew valley #elliott x reader #sdv elliott #original female character #stardew valley farmer #elliot sdv

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melodyalanaroster · 3 years

Text

To answer some Fanfic Questions...

So, this is my response to @broxklynn‘s post... I decided to make this its own post... So that It can be properly answered.

1. How and why did you start to write? Is there some kind of story behind it?

I started writing in general when I was in elementary school... Back when I just had a Platform 9 3/4 journal, not many friends, recess, and a desire to immerse myself in the world of Harry Potter. I enjoyed writing, and even joined the Writer’s Club in High School (but I eventually left to join Anime Club and Divergent Thinking Society). As for writing MCL fanfiction, I began writing Sam’s and Alana’s stories as early as when I first got into the fandom, back in 2013. Alana’s story started out as “A Fresh Start”, had a one shot called “When I Wake”, then turned into “Let The Dawn Be Broken”, and is now “The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster”. The final product barely has any hints of the first 3... In fact, Sam’s story, “Fighting Darkness”, has been completely debunked due to what I’ve decided to canonize in “The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster”. Writing MCL fanfiction has been a major help in distracting me from the depression that was caused by family issues, severe abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, my mom’s disease and her death, as well as working at several shitty jobs. Writing has helped me escape reality and keep myself sane enough to not be a black hole of hate, anger, and sadness to my friends and boyfriend.

2. What do you struggle the most with your writing?

There are 2 major things I struggle with... 1 is Timing. I often set deadlines for myself that I never meet and it makes me so frustrated that I miss them... There are currently things in my drafts that were meant to be “Holiday Specials” for Valentine’s Day and Halloween 2020 that are still unfinished... It makes me feel like I’m letting my readers down, when its more of me letting myself down... The other thing is Inspiration. Because I hate my job, I often think about Alana’s story in an effort to not be completely consumed by the fact that I do hate my work... Due to that, I often come up with ideas for my story that I think are FANTASTIC for my story... But, by the time I get home, I’m either in too much pain or too tired to write, or I’ve forgotten the ideas...

3. What is your favorite genre to write?

I love writing Romance with a bit of Slice of Life and a hint of Action/Adventure...

4. Slowburn or “Flame”/PWP?

Slow burn any day.

5. How do you overcome writer’s block?

If I absolutely can’t write... I work on other stuff I need to do... Typically, something around the house, or something online I need to do... I also look for cool stuff to add to wish lists... I’ll occasionally play videogames or read comic books... In an effort to subvert writer’s block, I like having multiple chapters in my drafts at once. If I’m not in the mood to work on one chapter, I can work on a different one.

6. What kind of thing you dislike the most, when reading a fanfiction? (for example: particular plot, grammar mistakes)

One thing that makes me upset (and it makes me madder when I do this) is misspelling... Especially when it looks like its almost blatant... You have autocorrect, USE IT! Or when a fanfic is so awful, yet the author acts like their work is a gift from god... I don’t mind a “bad” fanfiction... Hell, the concept of “My Immortal” is so bad that its hilarious... But Fifty Shades did a lot of damage and E.L. James acts like she’s bigger than Jesus... Seriously, she wrote Twilight fanfiction, changed some minor details and names, people who have no knowledge of BDSM ate it up, and she acts like she’s a “Sex and Relationship Guru”...

7. What’s the biggest issue for you, when writing a Beemoov fanfiction?

The biggest issue for me is finding out when to allow for Beemoov’s writing and placement to take place in my story. I don’t like a lot of the events of UL and LL, so I’m often finding myself in a position where I have to watch video playthroughs and go “Okay, how can I omit this character, but keep this scene?”. I’ve had to do that A LOT with Alexy and Rosalaya.... Although, to a certain extent, I’ll often cut their scenes out altogether. I really hate what Beemoov did to them. They were great characters in HSL, but became utter shit in UL and stayed shit in LL. To make up for Beemoov’s writing style, I’ve created my own characters, added in old characters (like Kentin and Armin), added in bits from the manga (like Viktor, Severina and their fathers), and gone off on my own storyline. The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster is close to MCL at times, but often veers off onto its own road.

8. Have you ever created a character based on person in real life? (celebrity, someone that you know, etc)

YES!!! A LOT of characters in my story are based on real people! Alana’s step-father, Nate Films, is closely based on Nathan Fillion. A lot of her family members are based on members of my own family, just changed a bit to fit the story. Lynne Roster, Alana’s mom, is what I had always dreamed my own mom would be... Hell, Alana’s cat, Sylvester, is based on my own childhood cat, Luna.

9. How do you feel about your own characters? Do you think of them as your babies or have rather love-hate relationship with them? (And, do you have favorite one?)

I love most of my characters. I do hate 3 in particular... But, you’re supposed to hate, or at least not respect, them... That’s why I poured my hatred into them... Those 3 are Carol, Kai and Azrael. Carol has aspects of my abuser in her. You’ll see more of her when I finally post the HSL related chapters... And understand what I mean... Kai is based on one of my real life cousins that I’ve not been happy with for years (the one who my bf has deemed “the family failure”). You mainly see him in the Cousin Mels chapters, and in the Christmas Special... Azrael is the one who is seen the most in the UL chapters, and she is a main adversary for Alana. She is the one who broke her the most, the one who ended Alana’s relationship with Nathaniel, the one who truly traumatized her. As for ones I love... The one I love the most is Alana... I know, she’s a reflection of me, so that’s kind of vain... But, she’s a part of me. When I do finish her story and am at the point where I need to say “Goodbye”, it will hurt....

10. Enemies-to-lovers or friends/bestfriends-to lovers?

Definitely friends/best friends to lovers. I also like toying with what happens when best friends turn to lovers, but circumstance parts them and one moves on...

11. Is it easy for you to get inside your character’s head? Can you empathize with them? Is there’s some similarities between you and your main character?

It is VERY easy for me to get into Alana’s head... Like I said in #9, she is a reflection of me. She looks and acts like how I’d like to in a lot of situations... Her life is more interesting, traumatized, and more well off than mine... But, she is still me in major ways...

12. Who has been the biggest supporter of your writing?

Definitely my boyfriend. He doesn’t really understand the game itself... But, he likes how happy it makes me and he respects how much of my heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears that I’ve poured into writing my story. He loves listening to me read passages from it to him while I’m working. He gives me advice and his opinion is highly valued... My family knows I’m writing a large story, and have seen some of the images that I’ve gotten commissioned, but they don’t really know or care about the game. They do respect the fact that I am writing. They love the fact that I’m slightly following in my mom’s footsteps in that regard (she wrote 3 books and several poems). My online friends have been very supportive as well! I’m constantly updating them on what I’ve worked on each day in my Discord Server and the words of encouragement always help.

13. How do you handle criticism?

Not well. Due to the abuse and family issues mentioned in #1, for a good amount of my life, I’ve gotten nothing but harsh criticism... So, now that I’m away from all that, at 26 years old, I’m just now getting to a point where I’m starting to take it better... But, I’ve got a long way to go.

14. Do you like giving your characters trauma? Why/why not?

I hate sounding like a sadist... But, I’m going to anyway, so fuck it... Yes. I have done awful things to Alana over the years. In A Fresh Start, she got sexually assaulted and ostracized. In When I Wake, she gets into a car crash, put into a coma, and in her dream state murdered by Francis in front of Nathaniel. In Let The Dawn Be Broken, the plan was for her to end a war. In “The Melancholy of Melody Alana Roster”, her childhood cat dies, her mom gets sick, she gets abused by Carol, her best friends get ripped away from her for a bit, she gets sent to a country halfway around the world alone, she gets assaulted and ultimately turned into a weapon of mass destruction.... I’ve even thought of killing her mom off at one point... But decided against it...

Now, granted, A Fresh Start and Let The Dawn Be Broken never saw completion, but happy endings were planned for them...

I do this, all while giving Alana happy endings in each story because “If Alana can go through utter hell and make it through, then so can I.”... I know, I’m “god” in that regard and I can control how Alana’s life is.... But, the fact that in my writing, she ends up standing tall, happy, with everything she wants, after everything she goes through does make me feel better....

15. Are you proud of yourself? When you look at first piece you wrote and compare it to the latest one?

Yes. If you look at A Fresh Start, you can tell it was written by someone fresh out of High School. There’s no real depth to it. Let The Dawn Be Broken isn’t much better... But, The Melancholy of Melody Alana Roster has become my magnum opus. It is the largest piece I have EVER written, and will probably remain the largest piece I write. I am very proud of what I have created... And when its last word is written, and I am ready to get it made for it’s place on my shelf, I will feel very bittersweet about it... That being said, my original plan for a sequel involving Nathaniel’s and Alana’s daughter, Aurora, has been discarded. I don’t believe Aurora could ever have as much of my heart that her parents do...

And there you have it! Some insight into my world, writing, and history!

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kusagrasskusa · 3 years

Text

Light X Reader Part 2 - Betrayal

Part 1, Part 2

READ THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU'VE RESD PART 2 BEFORE- So this paragraph used to talk about how I kept on remembering to save my drafts, and evidence of which isbthat when this was posted, it wasn't finished. I completed the whole story, and it was pretty long, but it all went to shit. So if you read this story before, feel free to check out the real ending.

@comradedani you brought me deep into the Death Note fandomm- And again, sorry for the low quality writing. I'm writing this at school lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/N, Y/N help! I messed up!" B/N yelled as he busted in Y/N's room and opened his schoolbag. He pulled out a piece of paper and turned it towards his older sister so she can see. Y/N sounds around in her chair, facing her brother.

"Jesus, you scared me!" Y/N huffed, reading the paper B/N had. Turns out he had a report card in his hand; one with 3 Fs, 2 Ds, and 3 Bs. "And those grades scare me more, what the hell," Y/N stated, a sly smile appearing on her face. "Dad's gonna be pissed when he reads that, haha," Y/N laughed, leaning back in her chair.

"It's not funny! You know dad's all about good grades and ever since his detective work increased, he's been more stressed about grades! I don't want to get grounded," B/N retorted, making a pouty face. He put his report card back into his bag and picked up his bag. "And dad usually comes home at this time. You know he's gonna be curious."

"Well, just don't tell him you have your report card," Y/N said casually, returning to her homework in front of her. She leaned on the desk, writing down answers as if they nothing.

"Oh, why didn't I think of that," B/N rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Mom gets emails from my school, Y/N. She's gonna find out about and tell dad, y'know." B/N sighed, fumbling with his hoodie strings. He opened the door and spoke, "dad's gonna be home soon, so bye I guy." He then left.

Y/N sighed, trying continuing to work on her assignments as if nothing happened. Although her focus was never fully on her assignments anyway, and our reader should know why. It's hard to concentrate when your mind keeps on going to the man you love who you felt betrayed you. Though to be fair, Light and her were never dating to begin with however Light was completely aware of Y/N's feelings towards him yet he choose to put her in that situation: where she had to be calm even though she was hurting inside.

Y/N took a deep breath before leaning back in her chair and shutting her eyes tightly. Don't let the tears fall, you're too strong for this, she told herself. For the past week, she's been feeling nonstop regret and of course, sorrow. Not to mention pure jealousy of Misa Misa; a pretty, popular model/actor. She refused to question how Light got to meet a women like that, since afterall Light was popular as well.

"You know what? I overreacting," Y/N said to herself, standing up sharply in her chair. She stretched her arms before taking a deep breath and putting on a smile. "There's more important things to worry about; like that damb Kira case. All I need to do is just call him and ask to meet up, right? He's forgiving..." She told herself, taking a deep breath again to ease her anxiety.

For the past week, Y/N had been thinking nonstop about her yelling at Light. She hadn't seen him sense, and there's been no communication between them. From a certain perspective, it almost seems like they really are overdramatic and acting very edgy, which is definitely true to an extent. However two friends arguing over something that's pretty serious for the first time is bound to cause some trouble. And when one friend feels almost betrayed, it gets worse.

Anyway let's go to B/N after about 15 minutes.

"Good afternoon, B/N," the tall, H/C haired man with grey ends due to stress, spoke. He held a nice smile on his face as he took his jacket and put on the coat hanger then took off his shoes. B/N smiled nervously, chuckling unsteadily as he waved.

"Hi, dad! Uh...how was your day?" B/N asked, holding his report card to his chest. His dad raised a brow and snickered.

"Strange. You never care to talk to me when I get home. Only when you're hungry or your mom says no to something," he teased, making B/N huff and cross his arms. His dad chuckled, "I'm joking. Anyway, what's that you're holding?"

B/N smirked nervously holding out the paper for his dad to grab, which he did. "I got my report card today, haha." His dad scanned over it for a few moments, frowning and his eye brows furrowed together.

"Are you skipping school son? I've never seen grades this bad and you've had rough years," he mumbled as he walked towards the living room. He say on the couch and sighed loudly, making a shiver crawl down B/N's spine.

"Nuh-no... It's just that the teachers have been putting a lot of pressure on us since we're about to go into highschool, heh."

"I don't understand. Are you just not understanding the material or are they putting too much work out?" The dad looked his son right into his eyes, making the atmosphere a bit more tense. B/N felt weak under his eyes; it's not because he was scared of his dad, it's because his dad has really high expectations and he's scared of failing them.

"Both. It's both," he mumbled, fumbling with his hoodie strings and tapping them together, making that quiet metallic clinking sound. "And I've always struggled with math, too, y'know. I don't understand how they expect me to know the Pythagoras Theorem after simply giving me 5 assignments daily about it."

The dad stood up from the couch. There was a moment of silence before he spoke: "I have to make a phone call. If you go to the trunk of the car, I got you something in a plastic bag. Don't tell your mom," he smiled to his son as he walked away, leaving B/N both confused and curious.

A few hours later and Y/N hummed to herself, watching a movie featuring her favorite actor on the couch besides her dad. He was on his laptop typing away on the keyboard while occasionally glancing at the TV. B/N was in the corner of the living room, playing a new game his dad just bought him on his Nintendo. It was quiet aside from the TV playing, at least until their dad spoke up.

"So, son, I forgot to mention who I called earlier. I asked if a coworker of mine would mind tutoring you for a bit."

"You...what?" B/N asked, pausing his game and turning back to see his dad. "Why?" Y/N gasped quietly, covering her mouth to stop herself from laughing. Her little brother glared at her and their dad, his nose scrunching up from annoyance.

"Well, you don't understand the material, right? That's why?" He explained, staying the obvious. Y/N giggled at his tone.

"Who is it, dad?" Y/N asked, rubbing her tired eyes.

"Oh, I won't say. But you two have met before," he replied, smirking playfully at his daughter as if he was planning something. "That's all the hints you get.~"

"Okay, now I'm so curious," Y/N mumbled, yawning. Who do I know who he works with? I know he works with the Kira investigation and I never met anyone there, I don't think. She shrugged it off as she kinda didn't care too much about whatever would happen in her brother's life since why should she? "Whatever. I'm tired," she mumbled as she rubbed her tired eyes. Her father looked over at her and smiled.

"Heh heh, alright darling. Get your sleep; you have a long day of school tomorrow." Her dad pat her head as she giggled and stood up. She hugged him before mumbling a goodnight. She then headed up the stairs, though she overheard her dad speak as she was walking. "Your tutor lives in the same neighborhood so he will come over shortly after you come home."

Y/N hummed as their conversation went quiet due to her being too far up the stairs to hear. She found her way into her room and closed the door behind her whenever she got in. Huff. Her hair was lifted from her shoulders as she put her hair in a ponytail in order to keep it from being too messy when she wakes up.

Layjng in bed, she furrowed her eyebrows together and sighed. Four entire weeks since she's talked to Light all because he found a girlfriend. Y/N felt more embarrassed of it then upset; well, she's still jealous but she knew she didn't have to avoid her friend of years because of something so stupid. What happened to the Y/N who would tell herself that even if he found a girlfriend, she would be better? Those were good times. And she would tell herself that she would call up Light and ask to meet up as friends but she gets so anxious about it and that anxiety turns into embarrassment.

It was kinda hardt to fall asleep with thoughts circulating her mind all night. But eventually, sleep came, and she sokn found herself waking up a couple hours later, going to school, and then coming back home.

Y/N waved goodbye to her friends as they dropped her off at her house. "Bye! Haha," she giggled as one of them stuck their whole body out the car window to yell out goodbye and wave her hands.

"Bye-bye, girl!" She yelled playfully as the car drove away to drop off her other friends. Y/N giggled again as she watched them pass and playfully rolled her eyes before spinning around. She took her time walking to the front door and pulling out her keys, as the door isn't unlocked ever and her parents are at work. Yet as she stuck her key into the house, the front door cracked open.

"....What the fuck," she mumbled as she took her key out of the door and pushed herself inside. It was so quiet which was weird considering B/N was loud as hell on the couch when he got home. He got home like 15 minutes before she did too. "B/N!" Her voice called out as she shut the front door and locked it.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Thank God he isn't dead. Well, sorta thank God. Y/N smirked as she set down her bookbag, took off her shoes, and took out her phone. She checked her notifications as she walked into the kitchen/dining room.

"You forgot to lock the front door," she said as she giggled, looking up from her phone. Bam! The phone hit the floor as Y/N's eyes stayed on Light's, almost like a staring contest was happening between them. Well, it sorta actually was because the brunette who was assisting B/N on the dining table spoke up once Y/N blinked.

"You blinked; I win, heh heh," he smirked. "Hey, Y/N! Long time, no see, huh?" He leaned back in his chair, waving his hand towards the stunned girl.

"I, uh...I wanted to call and meet up with you but I thought you were mad," Y/N said shyly as she picked up her phone. Blush dusted her cheeks as she examined her phone to check if it were broken.

"Same here, actually. I'm happy it's not like that."

"Muh-Me too, heh..."

Y/N but her bottom lip nervously as the room went into an awkward silence. B/N sighed before breaking the painful silence, much to Y/N's relief. "I think I understand this now," he said. "To find A, it's C^2 - B^2 = A^2. To find C, it's A^2 + B^2 = C^2."

"Very good!" Light smiled warmly as he pulled B/N practice assignment from him and examined it. He had a red pen in his hand and with it he marked a few things. "You did very well on these, apart from 3, 7, 8, and 12. But then again, those questions were hard for me to solve when I was in 8th grade."

"Really? But you're so smart! And I'm actually in 7th grade, advanced math," B/N said proudly with a cheerful look on his face.

"It really shows how smart you are, heh heh," Light chuckled as he handed back his assignment to B/N. "Can you try these again? I circled the part of the equation you messed up with so hopefully it helps."

Y/N was across the room in the pantry to grab chips. Once she grabbed her favorite kind, she headed out of the kitchen and towards her room. Light looked over at her leaving and sighed. Suddenly, he heard Ryuk talk. "You do realize that this is a good thing, right? You can spend more time with the Death Note and watching the police this way." Light couldn't reply of course, but in his mind he disagreed. After all, he knows she's bad at remembering time and he would have an alias every time he's with her, so he could lie to get out.

For example, let's say he was accused of somehow killing 5 people one day between 5-6pm. But at 3-5pm, he was with Y/N. Because she can't remember time very good at all, he could easily say he was with her while the killings were happening, and with her agreeing because she doesn't know any better. Y/N can also easily be turned into an abused puppy in his eyes; a loyal punching bag who he can manipulate for certain circumstances.

"While your doing that, I'm going to use the restroom," Light excused himself as he stood up from the table and walked away. He walked over and up the stairs, down the hall and to a certain person's room. Once he got to the door, he softly knocked on it. "May I come it?"

Y/N on the other side jumped from the sudden arrival. "Just a second!" She called out as she took her hair out of the bun and fixed it, because let's face the fact that a lot of us are very insecure about our looks. She quickly fixed her shirt because calling out, "come in!" A mere moment later and her door was open to reveal a tall brunette.

"You look lovely today," he complimented as he stepped inside her room and shut the door behind him. Y/N blushed a little bit.

"Thanks, heh. Um...you look nice too," she replied nervously.

"Don't be nervous with me please. You know I'm not mad at you. Actually, I came in here to formally apologize," he spoke as he walked up closer and bowed in respect. "The least I could have done was call you about her earlier that day, or told you I was seeing someone way ahead of that. It was foolish of me not to and led to both of our hears being hurt. I'm sorry." Y/N frowned as she comprehended what he just said then sighed. She walked up to him and grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him up.

"You're face is so squishy, sir," she said as Light stood up all the way, however Y/N didn't go of him. "It's weird someone so very collected and serious became friends with someone as dimbas a bag of rocks. I mean, have a told you about how my IQ test came back negative? Because it did."

Light chuckled as her comment, playing with a strand of her hair. "Did this really happen? You're so weird sometimes, haha." Y/N giggled softly before frowning.

"Hey, y'know, I really wasn't mad. The first week we stopped talking was so painful but I knew I had to make it up to you somehow. Yet even though I really wanted to just call you and have a drink of coffee with a long conversation full of pleasant topics and laughs, I was so scared. It's embarrassing," she confessed, keeping her head low.

Pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, Light smiled down at her. "Then I hope today takes all that weight off your shoulders."

"It did, heh heh," Y/N smiled as she looked him in the eyes. With how close they are, the eye contact, and the smiles, they seem almost suggestive towards one another. Or at least in the eyes of none other than-

"Ew!" Yelled B/N from the doorway. He must have opened the door while they were distracted. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows together and glared at her brother whereas Light just smiled. "All I wanted was help, not this teenage romance scene. I finished all my problems by the way, ugh," B/N spoke, sounding dead.

"I'll be down there in a moment," Light responded as B/N walked away. He turned towards Y/N again; "well, it was nice seeing you. Your dad is paying me for this so I should probably get back to work." Y/N nodded as she hugged him softly.

"Alright. Make sure you let me know when your done or free," she responded before she pulled away from the hug.

"Will do," Light replied as he pat her head. "I'll see you later." Light waved goodbye as he walked out of her room and shut the door behind him.

Y/N took a deep breath to ease her nerves. That's it, she thought. This man is about to be my husband-

#anime #shounen #wattpad #reader insert #light yagami x you #light yagami x reader #light yagami x y/n #light x reader #light x you #light x y/n #light x fem reader #death note #death note x reader

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livebloggingmydescentintomadness · 3 years

Note

OK but now that destiel is Canon can you rec me some destiel fics?????? I be needing them and fuck me I don't remember my old favourites lmao its been a while

honestly i haven’t been in a destiel fic mood for at least a couple years, due to my bitterness of feeling like the show was queerbaiting me. so i don’t have any recent recs, and there are a number of fandom-favorite fics i’ve never read, but back when i was really into it i had a drafted post keeping all my recs together.

since it’s still in my drafts, i’ll copy/paste the body of it under a read more here

liveblogging's Destiel fic rec

♥ indicates my absolute favorites

* indicates that there is slight to no smut for those who wish to avoid it

If the ending is less than good and happy it will be clearly noted.

Canon-verse

Ghost Dance by omphalos | 51,194 | In post-apocalyptic isolation, Castiel nurses Dean back to something like his former self, but will a time come when Dean's recovered --and rediscovered-- too much? (A lot of painful angst but a really beautiful story.)

What Has Eight Tentacles and Isn't Allowed to Eat Pie? by Annie D (scaramouche) | 16,188 | Dean gets turned into an octopus. It's really great. ♥ *

My Eyes Are An Ocean by entanglednow | 10,275 | It's amazing what you decide you can get away with when you can't see a damn thing. (Sequel.)

The Mirror by cloudyjenn | 24,568 | When Dean touches a strange mirror, he's whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesn't take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something. *

Our Bodies, Possessed By Light by Obstinatrix | 39,881 | When Castiel becomes too powerful for Jimmy Novak's body, the only vessel that can hold him is Sam. Slight Wincest, but not really.

How (thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (accidentally) raised each other (and Sam). by Vera (Vera_DragonMuse) | 69,693 | In which, Gabriel meddles with the time line and Castiel becomes Dean's angel rather sooner than intended.

PWP: Pie Without Plot by MajorEnglishEsquire, orange_crushed | 82,517 | he is in the kitchen with flour on his hands and an apron and there is flour on his forehead and cas leans across the counter and wipes it off with his thumb and dean says "thank you" and cas says "you’re welcome" very seriously and later dean makes apple turnovers and he only ruins them a little and sam realizes it’s not a real hunt like four days into it and he lets dean stay undercover for like a week and a half or longer maybe way longer because he is such a good everything

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock | 15,393 | While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him. ♥

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by tuesday | 11,171 | Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this.

Last One Out Hits The Lights by entanglednow | 37,680 | Season 5 zombie apocalypse AU. ♥

Smells Like Roses by BoMarlowe | 53,828 | Dean's life is beautiful. He wants for nothing, has the pleasure of his family and friends, and is desperately, irrevocably in love with his husband. Everything is perfect, just as it should be.Then he wakes up. (So, so much angst, but it ends well.)

The Curse of a Hundred Loves by cymbalism | 9,062 | The one where Dean has to come a hundred times. Cas helps.

Named by RC_McLachlan | 94,601 | Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

Love Is Not A Victory March by electricskeptic | 12,584 | It’s a funny thing about intimacy; if Castiel had attempted to hug him rather than Sam, Dean probably would have laughed him all the way back up to Heaven, but sex -- sex, he’s familiar with.

Both Sides Now by TamrynEradani | 21,609 | Dean solves a hunt and realizes he's in love. He does most of this while cursed into a female body which means he's also dealing with being a woman, and it's more complicated than he had realized. *

With Every Light by MajorEnglishEsquire | 24,761 | This new thing coursing through him reminds him that he doesn't need to watch Cas go. He can go anywhere Cas does. Why not? Why does Cas have to be alone all the time? Why does Dean have to be? *

Contrapasso by takadainmate | 59,746 | There's a town in Wisconsin that doesn't exist. With no way in without human help, Castiel, seeking out a group of missing angels, asks for Dean's assistance. He finds Sam with his brother, alive and well and free from Lucifer, with no explanation and no memory of how he got out of Hell. Inside the town that doesn't exist, there is murder and madness and a creeping cold that leave Dean, Cas and Sam fighting for their lives and for each other. As the town shifts and changes around them, descending into anarchy, the three of them find it increasingly difficult to tell what's real and what's not. (This fic gets pretty grim and gruesome and it ends before you want it to, but holy crap is it good.) ♥

Flying in Circles Inside a Jar by prosopopeya | 11,053 | Castiel makes a logical leap that leaves Dean's head spinning, and the both of them spinning away from each other.

In the land of the Emotionally Repressed, Dean Winchester is King. by zoemathemata | 11,316 | Dean does his best to cheer Castiel up when Cas is disheartened by recent events and is left blind.

Come Again? by Jacqueline Albright-Beckett (xaandria) | 17,269 | The unintended application of an ancient nuptial blessing leaves Cas and Dean at each others' mercy, having bestowed upon them the ability to both experience and influence the other's sexual sensations for the space of ten days. (Like 90% smut for when you’re in that kind of mood.)

The Roman Thing by takadainmate | 9,139 | Castiel had died for Dean. He had died for Dean more than once. His future did not look bright. * (This fic is a little abstract and nonsensical, but the prose is beautiful.)

Professional Couple Only by saltyfeathers | 37,153 | There's a haunted apartment building in Vermont, and the ad says "Professional couple only". Dean and Cas rise to the occasion. ♥

Dark Water by Jacqueline Albright-Beckett (xaandria) | 14,574 | Sam suspects that an ancient sea monster is behind the disappearances of fishermen in Seattle, but learning the extent of the truth during the case may be more than Dean, Sam, and Cas bargained for. *

Oneiroi by RC_McLachlan | 54,364 | There is not a dream Castiel does not know, except this one. (This is a beautifully told story, but it is often dark and Dean and Cas don’t actually interact hardly at all. The ending is... bittersweet, with present happiness but future foreboding but also some hope. Trigger warning for torture and violence.)

after a storm by museaway | 10,481 | Despite Zeke’s threats, Dean doesn't tell Cas to leave the bunker.

angelus ex machina by aerialiste | 13,357 | Post-10x03 fix-it with angst, emotions, and smut.

The Tunnel of Love by xylodemon | 21,421 | "We might," Cas starts slowly, pausing like he's choosing his words. "We might have to kiss." Dean just stares at him.

Every Man's Got A Right by MollyC | 78,107 | Cas never expected to live through Dean's last plan. Now, he's not only alive, he's in the past--before Dean went to Hell, before he made the deal at all. Can a fallen angel and a couple of hunters change the future by altering the past?

tired starlings by aerialiste | 21,061 | He looked back at Dean, looked into his eyes, the color of the summerfields around Reykjavík, or the lush Ngorongoro caldera. He smiled at him, having absolutely no idea what he was saying. Only his face mattered. And, just like that, Cas was done.

a turn of the earth by mishcollin | 95,273 | Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run. Frigging fantastic. (Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.) ♥

Circadia by imogenbynight | 76,333 | 4-01 is a monster undeserving of a name. In a facility known only as Circadia, he serves a life sentence in punishment for terrible crimes he cannot remember, and is told to be grateful to have forgotten what those he left behind cannot. Meanwhile, convinced that he is nothing but a poisonous presence in the lives of those he loves, Dean is attempting to track down Gadreel when Sam calls with bad news: Castiel has disappeared without a trace.

Faith Healer by punkascas | 75,087 | Dean hates faith healers. Scam artists and power-hungry dicks, all of them. But with Sam nearing the end of his rope and desperate for a way to keep their father’s last words from being true, Dean has no choice but to turn to the enigmatic and irascible Castiel, more tattooed junkie than spiritual leader, in hopes of finding a way to cure Sam. Yet Castiel hides dangerous secrets, and Dean soon learns they have more to worry about than just Yellow Eyes and Sam’s growing demonic abilities. War is coming. Canon divergent after 2.10.

Tales of Brave Ulysses by snarklyboojum | 55,962 | What if, before all that other shit went down in Purgatory, Dean and Cas found a road? *

Not Part of the Plan series by Annie D (scaramouche) | 337,847 | Dean/Castiel urban fantasy AU where Castiel and Dean are from neighbouring countries (Castiel from a kingdom, Dean from a republic), and romance happens. ♥

The Breath Of All Things by KismetJeska | 65,404 | Dean Winchester was twenty-six years old when a car accident killed his father and left him paralysed from the waist down. A year and a half later, Dean is in a wheelchair and lives in a care home in Kansas, where he spends his days waiting to die. It's only when Castiel Novak starts volunteering at the care home that Dean starts to wonder if a changed life always equals a ruined one. ♥ *

Ad Astra by nhixxie | 17,390 | "Stars died for you, Dean Winchester." *

Out of the Deep by riseofthefallenone | 488,608 | ‘Stay away from the light-beds. Stay in the deep.’ It is the first thing hatchlings are taught the moment their fans unfurl and they can swim without their parents to buoy them along. It is the first rule, the first law. It is the beginning of every boogey-monster bedtime story told when they settle against the cliffs to sleep. Castiel should have listened better.

A Beginner's Guide to Communing with the Dead by suspiciousflashlight | 77,159 | Dean is pretty sure he's going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn't started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that's not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there's no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom's old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head. (minor smut at the end, if you don't mind skimming that I still really reccommed this one) ♥ *

Shut Up (Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is) by kototyph | 23,878 | Dean's done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake.

The face of heaven. by orange_crushed | 9,772 | Castiel is a fallen star. *

Angel's Wild by LimonadeGaby, riseofthefallenone | 389,271 | Sometimes Dean wishes that Angels were like how they’re described in the Bible. How people from time too old for him to care much about thought Angels were messengers and warriors of God, protectors of Humans. He knows that how they’re really described in the Bible is actually pretty terrifying, but at least they were told by God that they’re supposed to love Humans, right? That’s a thousand times better than what Angels really turned out to be.

Autumn Hollow by shotgunsinlace | 98,374 | When tragedy strikes late one Californian night, author C.J. Novak searches for a place to start his life anew. The long road filled with shadows and doubts take him to Nires Island, a small fishing town off the coast of Maine where the food is good and the neighbors are polite. But when nightmares of drowning threaten the fragile threads of Castiel’s sanity, the picturesque shores of Autumn Hollow don’t look quite so pretty any more. The dead walk, the vengeful haunt, the darkness stalks, and Dean Winchester may be more than just the shady mechanic who somehow manages to destroy Castiel’s defenses.

The Ends of Earth by darkforetold | 46,990 | Dean Winchester should have died that Thursday. His murder would have started a civil war between the entitled rich and the starving poor. Equality, and the chance at food and clean water had been one throat-slit away. In the end, it only took one man to ruin it all. Tagged as a traitor for saving Dean's life, Castiel's world is torn apart by the vengeance of an unseen enemy. Little by little, he loses hope—until he himself is rescued by the kindness and love of one man. ♥

Into Your Hideaway by thepinupchemist | 176,557 | A/B/O verse, omega!Dean/alpha!Cas, mpreg, hurt/comfort, a lot of angst and a lot of fluff. Major trigger warnings.

Of Shampoo and Fruit Flies by almaasi | 17,640 | Dean's roommate is not what anyone would call ordinary. Cas is asexual, and autistic, and he frustrates other people with his unrelentingly 'childish' ways – but it's different with Dean: they have an exceptional bond, something truly profound. *

Convenient Husbands by Annie D (scaramouche) | 39,283 | "It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?" (Creature!Castiel, telepathy, marriage of convenience, wing!kink.) ♥

The Request by cloudyjenn | 36,770 | When Sam Winchester prays for his brother, Castiel is finally sent on his very first assignment. But what should be a simple love match turns into much more and Castiel finds himself risking everything to ensure the happiness of his extremely frustrating charge. *

Hunting for Faith by Pappcave, riseofthefallenone | 270,943 | Reverse!verse epic, Castiel is a hunter/priest, Dean and Sam are angels trying to stop the apocalypse.

The Parts of Our Sum by Annie D (scaramouche) | 55,060 | Castiel, a former soldier, has worked for the Company his entire life. They've been good to him, providing clothes, shelter and new body parts whenever necessary. Now the Company's gearing up for a space exploration voyage, and Castiel's volunteered for the research team. During the preparation period, he meets Dean Winchester, who makes Castiel wonder about the things he's missed out on.

Kiss You When It's Dangerous by zoemathemata | 57,593 | When his partner Uriel, betrays him, Federal Agent Castiel Novak is saved from becoming a ritual sacrifice by brothers Dean and Sam Winchester. Discovering the world of the supernatural and learning about werewolves, wendigoes, vampires and things that go bump in the night also leads to learning more about Dean and the strange life he and his brother lead. The more he learns, the more Castiel finds himself drawn into Dean’s world and toward Dean himself. Until Uriel wants to complete the ritual he started.

The Sawdust Men by linoresearch | 123,363 | Castiel Novak is an inmate at a labour camp. Life is brutal and no one ever gets out. Castiel’s only goal is to go unnoticed by the barbaric guards, and the violent inmates. Dean Winchester is a soldier without a purpose since the civil war ended. Dean accepts an assignment at a labour-camp, under the mentorship of Alistair, the Commander. From the start, Dean and Castiel are drawn to each other, and their relationship develops in a way that changes their lives. (Trigger warnings for some pretty grim and violent stuff, but this is so incredibly well-written, I absolutely love it.) ♥

An Affair in Edge City by Annie D (scaramouche) | 20,275 | Dean is a superhero, Castiel is a reporter.

The Ghost of Embers by Moorishflower | 38,684 | Dean Winchester's life has been one big clusterfuck. He lost his mother to a house fire when he was a child, and he lost his father to an explosive car accident when he was a teen, and, now that he's a full-grown man, he's losing his brother to college and to distant, sunny California. Stuck in the middle of a city that has a reputation for chewing up and spitting out the unprepared, Dean's anxieties fluctuate between bad and worse...until he starts to get to know his mysterious and antisocial next door neighbor, Castiel. *

C-S-T-L by komodobits | 90,377 | It’s been nineteen years since the beginning of the Last War, and the Alliance Army is losing land faster than it can supply good men to defend it. Their hope is the synthesis of Android Angeles, a series of humanoid machines designed without the capacity to feel, and thus enabling them to be the perfect super soldiers. In order to check their battle suitability, the first prototypes are sent down with a landing party of the men they will later replace, and Sergeant Dean Winchester is paired with Unit 5284-C-S-T-L for the assignment. (This fic will destroy you and then rebuild you anew.) ♥ *

For Love, For Glory by shotgunsinlace | 83,427 | I think all I need to tell you is that this is an Indiana Jones/The Mummy AU.

a certain light by flightagain | 24,310 | Castiel works at the Gas-n-Sip. There are half-price nachos and flickering lights, there are office-workers and werewolves stopping by for snacks. Dean is a frequent customer, and his office might be haunted. *

An Exploration of Habitat by aileenrose | 11,018 | Dean's afraid of heights, and Cas lives in a tree.

Pick It All Up by thepinupchemist | 126,611 | Army veteran Castiel Novak is a wreck after his tour in Afghanistan, brought home to his brother's apartment in Lawrence, Kansas with scars both mental and physical. He copes poorly, and during one night of bad decision making, meets somebody just as much of a disaster as he is -- a prostitute named Dean Winchester. And suddenly, two damaged men might not be as irreparable as they believed.

A Hole in the World by AnnelieseMichel | 293,288 | Dean Winchester never wanted to go home again. Going back to Lawrence meant people who knew what he was, who didn't buy into the lie. But with a tragic accident, he's back and dealing with the death of his father, the social stigma and objectification of being an out Omega, and the lingering aftermath of a long-ago crime. (Many trigger warnings for rape and abuse, but this is one of the best explorations of character and relationship I’ve ever read.) ♥

Clean Air by anactoria | 121,677 | Centuries after the surface of the earth was devastated by an unknown disaster, the remnants of humanity live in a series of vast underground silos, each unaware of the existence of the others. For the inhabitants of Silo 34, the silo is the world, and the only world they know. Questions about the outside world are forbidden, and asking them is what got Dean Winchester's parents killed. He isn't even sure himself that they weren't crazy. That all changes when he hears a voice on the radio -- a voice from another world.

The Ghosts of Blackthorn Hall by linoresearch | 94,657 | In 1843 Castiel Milton leaves his life of quiet faith and duty to take up employment as tutor to the young ward of one Mr Dean Winchester, at Blackthorn Hall. Set deep among the Yorkshire moors, Blackthorn is a place of mysteries – a wild place, where pale faces appear at the windows, and mad women laugh in the night. Castiel is drawn to the enigmatic Master of Blackthorn and they form an attachment neither of them expected. But there are secrets hidden behind Blackthorn's stone walls, truths that threaten to destroy their fragile happiness, as they are forced to confront the ghosts of their past. This is a Jane Eyre/SPN fusion AU.

Qualia by imogenbynight | 26,600 | When Sam & Jess move into a smart home, Dean finds an unlikely match in the AI that keeps it running. *

In the Fog by stardustpaths | 10,688 | This isn’t the first time Dean ends up surrounded by fog in the ruins of the Lost City, but it certainly is the first time he meets someone there. A mysterious man with a flying boat turns out to be more than just an old tale, and Dean makes a decision that is going to have some unexpected consequences. *

Please Turn on Your Magic Beam by mnwood | 9731 | In which Cas is a starving asexual succubus who travels through people's dreams and Dean is an insomniac, and both of them are way too stressed out about school.

When the World Screams by K_K_TiBal | 31,354 | The one thing that Castiel Novak can’t do is hear. He excels in his job as an EMT despite the fact that he’s deaf and has never let anything hold him back from being at the top of his game. That is, until he meets a certain man in the aftermath of a car accident.The one thing Dean Winchester can’t do is touch. Communication should be simple with the easy way that people can read each other’s thoughts through skin contact, but Dean outright refuses anything of the sort and much prefers the gentle caress of fingers on guitar strings. That is, until his dreams of being a professional guitarist are shattered in the accident. Even with the unfortunate circumstances of their meeting, a friendship grows and there is one thing they realize they can do for each other very well: Listen. *

Sleeper, Awake! by OverlordoftheBees | 315,109 | When their Father cast them from Heaven, his Angels lost themselves in their grief. In 1424, they haunted the skies of citadels, as winged mercenaries turned animal, seeking bloodshed for a slight they no longer remembered. From Ardus, the central city of the kingdom, groups of soldiers took to the Roads to provide crucial supplies and transport amongst citadels. When Castiel, the last remaining Angel equipped with any sense of humanity, happened upon an attack to a Slayer's party on the Road, he rescued the only survivor - Dean Winchester - and spared him from certain death. Under starry skies and the shadowy treetops of Ardus' forest, the pair breached the boundaries of their relative humanity and divinity, discerning first friendship and then more, until, driven by love, Castiel was imprisoned by the Empress Lilith for the crime of animalism. When the door to the tomb is opened, Dean is returned to him. Only Dean no longer knows him, and the year is 2013.

Muscle Memory by komodobits | 18,961 | 50 First Dates Dean/Cas AU where Castiel wakes up on a day just like any other, except that three years have passed without his knowing, and Dean Winchester is in the kitchen wanting to marry him.

Empty Spaces by schmerzerling | 60,299 | Dean is fine. The way he sees it, things are simple. He had a house and a family and food in his stomach, and now he doesn't. And yeah, that's a downer, but he's not going to let that stop him from being fine, because he's in control of the situation. He definitely doesn't need anyone to save him. And it's not like the weird guy with the nice butt from down the road is the knight-in-shining-armor type, anyway. *

Happily Ever After by darkforetold | 12,138 | Prince Dean lives in a world where princes can only marry princesses and live happily ever after. The problem is, he's in love with Prince Castiel, his awkward (ridiculously handsome) best friend. Dean thinks it's his destiny to settle down with a princess, but when Dean goes after the famed Sleeping Beauty, things change. Instead of facing off with villains, Prince Dean decides to fight social expectations and go after his one true love: Prince Castiel. *

Vagabonds by amarillogrande | 89,528 | Dean is a sheriff in a tiny town in Colorado, restless and unsatisfied with his life. It's not like what he's read about in the dime novels since he was little, capturing dangerous outlaws and being the last word of the law. More like tossing the town drunk in a cell to sober up when they get a little too rowdy. But Dean's chance comes when a thief rolls through their town. He pursues the thief, which puts him right into the path of Emmanuel, a notorious outlaw. When he is captured by the outlaw and his gang to be held for ransom, Dean starts off on a journey he could have never envisioned, and learns that perhaps there's more to Emmanuel than meets the eye. ♥

Fucking LONG-ass fics I haven’t personally read but heard great things about:

Redemption Road by spnredemption | 652,217 | Redemption Road is a fan-generated, large-scale AU project created by members of the SPN and Dean/Castiel fandoms. Alternate season 7.

Down to Agincourt by seperis | 541,407 | There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war. Endverse.

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if none of those appeal or you just want more, i also have a destiel fic rec tag with a shitton of links. happy reading/crying!

#actually i just started down to agincourt yesterday lmao i'm in trouble #destiel #destiel fic rec #spn #anonymous #ask

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himbeaux-on-ice · 3 years

Text

Can I just say that Habs “fans” who act like Carey Price’s contract is somehow patient zero of all this team’s problems drive me absolutely fucking insane? Seriously. Buckle up. This is about to be a rant.

Now. First things first. Is it ideal that the $10 million goalie is currently uh, not doing very good? Fucking NO! I am disappointed as shit with that and I don’t like seeing him struggle. I know he can be better. He has to be better. Obviously.

However. That being said.

Do I think it’s an incredibly stupid look to spend several tweets complaining about all the issues Habs defence have been having, and then also griping that they haven’t started Jake Allen enough for how he’s performing, only to then for some inexplicable reason state that the FIRST THING, the first thing that needs to be dealt with after the new coaching staff have had ONE GAME (and zero practices) to work on things, is somehow “well, the ten million dollar man in net is weighing them down, that contract has gotta go!”?

Yes! That’s stupid!!

I think that’s a very ice cold small-brain take, and not just because Price is my favourite of favourites for as long as I’ve been a hockey fan! I have reasons, dammit!! I put THOUGHT into this!!

Here, dear ppl of Habs twitter who will never read this, are some reasons why this narrative you’re concocting is dumb, and why management/coaching are unlikely to think of trying to ditch Price mid-season to fix the current problems:

1: Time. It has been one (1) game under Ducharme. He has been able to run zero (0) full practices on off days with the team. We just changed up a major piece on the Habs chess board — why don’t you give it a minute to see what fresh eyes and minds can do with this roster before you decide we are fucked? This season is fast-moving, sure, but there is time for us to ride out some little bumps here and still make a playoff spot in this Canadian division. Have patience. Do you remember what patience is? Dom is a new head coach, not a wish-granting fairy godmother. Chill. Do you remember chill?

(rest of this under a cut because I actually LIKE Habs Tumblr, and I want to be nice to you all by not making you scroll past all of it if you don’t want to)

2: Jake Allen exists. There are a couple of things I like for what this means for the Habs. Firstly, for basically the first time in his NHL career, we are not in a situation where if Carey Price is in a slump, we have to go “Ah, shit, so now our options are let his stats tank while he tries to get the groove back in net, OR throw whoever the poor backup is out there to get murdered while we plummet through the standings.... 😬” We don’t have that problem right now, because the backup is... actually good? Oh my god, the backup is actually good! Thank fuck! We’re not doomed. If I’m Ducharme, I put Allen in net for a few consecutive starts to put a solid backstop behind all my fun experiments I’m probably planning with the skating roster (to catch their slip-ups, while also giving Carey lots of time and rest with which to work hard on sorting out whatever his issue is along with the goalie coaches).

2b: Jake Allen exists and is competition. Hell, if I’m Ducharme, maybe I even play a little hardball and say “Look, Carey, I don’t want you to be an expensive benchwarmer, but if things don’t pick up soon I am going to start whoever is doing best and you will have to compete for that net.” Related to my last point, when was the last time Carey Price had to push himself to compete for net time against anything other than his own injuries, and wasn’t simply always the default starter? Has that EVER been a thing? Honestly as much as I love the idea of him being The Goalie for the Habs, I also kinda like this idea a lot because I think it could really push him to a higher standard of performance. Maybe that kind of high-pressure situation (given how much he thrives in the pressure-cooker of the playoffs) could be what he NEEDS in order to Be Carey Price again. Worst comes to worst, he doesn’t respond to that challenge, and I am very sad but the Habs have a good goalie in net anyway, because Hallelujah, Jake Allen exists! God, isn’t it nice to have Jake Allen? Bless him.

3: Money. Guys, this league is so broke right now. Seriously. Seriously. Nobody has any fucking money. The Habs probably have more money than most teams, and that does not help when it comes to offloading large contracts. Trades are a NIGHTMARE both because of the flat cap but also because travel is complicated (especially cross-border) but also nobody wants to trade within their division if possible because all your games are against them. Who in the name of fuck do you think is jumping at the idea of taking the $10 million per through 20-lots-and-lots-of-years-from-now contract of a goalie who is currently struggling, impressive past record aside? What kind of astral plane of fantasy hockey are you on to think there’s a trade out there for that within this season. Shut up. And no, don’t bring up the expansion draft, this post is a rebuttal SPECIFICALLY to the people who think that Price and his contract are the biggest problem that needs to be dealt with RIGHT NOW and first on the list of ways to immediately remedy the team’s struggles.

4: Spite. Specifically to piss you off, bud. You personally.

5: Knowing how to troubleshoot properly. Fellas, if my computer is running slowly and freezing up a lot, do I immediately decide the first step to fixing it is to crack open the chassis, remove the hard drive, and try to sell that hard drive to someone to see if I can enough money back to somehow get a better hard drive for less? No, dipshit. That’s not how troubleshooting a complex system works works. It’s the same with hockey teams. Ah, my star goalie is not performing great. This situation is deeply less than ideal. If you’re actually good at troubleshooting, the first thing you do is not “WELL. I GUESS WE’LL HAVE TO THROW THE WHOLE GOALIE OUT. HE’S TOAST.” The first thing you do, if you’re a smart coach, is you say “Okay, what are my defence doing in front of him? What are they doing to reduce the amount and quality of our opponents’ scoring chances? Oh. Oh, they’re taking a lot of penalties, and... oh, uh, some of this is very not great. Yikes.” And then you start your work by trying to make the defence actually work instead of running the same Pairs That Everyone Is Very Much Over And Tired Of, because your goalie is actually supposed to be your Last Line of Defence. And maybe during that time you give more starts to Goalie Who Is Absolutely Slaying It, so that when you start trying new D-pairs and they inevitably have some mistakes, it doesn’t immediately turn into an Oh God Holy Fuck moment every time, because that last line of defence backstopping them is solid. The reason you need to deal with defense first is because a) You know you have a reliable goalie (Allen) in your pocket right now if you need him. What you don’t have is a whole-ass proven and tested and practiced Backup D-Core you can swap into the roster in front of your goalies to make their lives easier. Fix your defense and it WILL improve your goalies, even marginally. Defrag the hard drive before you ask why it’s not working. and b) If you need to go looking for any new D-men to solve the issues, those are WAY easier and cheaper to find than top-tier goalies, and you always want to start any troubleshooting process with trying the simplest solutions first to hopefully save time and money. The better that D-core is, the less it fucks your team over if the goalie isn’t feeling themselves, because the D is going to stop more of those pucks before they ever even become the goalie’s problem. FIX. DEFENCE. FIRST. Then try to train your goalie back into top form. THEN explore your other options.

6: The vicious cycle. Guys. We literally do this once every year or second year. EVERY time Carey Price has a slump, this fanbase gets into a tizzy like the Bell Centre is burning down and he was the one with the matches. And what ALWAYS happens literally within the year, every single time? He gets his mojo back like he did last summer in the bubble and goes on a heater and everybody goes “JESUS PRICE!!!! 🙌” and is ready to name their firstborn kid after him. Until eventually that performance becomes unsustainable, and he becomes mortal again, and suddenly he’s The Real Problem With This Franchise once again. I know he’s the guy they chose to build the team around instead of a superstar forward, but oh my god folks. You’d think he was the only player on the team. Guys, I feel like fucking Sisyphus pushing a blue blanc et rouge boulder up Mont Royal once a year with this shit. This man’s entire career has been a constant seesaw narrative between “Carey Price is our saviour!” and “Carey Price should be exiled to Nome!!!!” from parts of this fanbase, I swear. Look, slumps suck, but for once we are actually lucky enough to be in a position where this team, for the first time in YEARS, does not solelylive or die by the inscrutable magical cycles of Carey Price’s goalie powers — because when he has to step back and work to get back into his groove, there is FINALLY a SECOND GUY who is GREAT. Honestly, given that the state of this team for so long has been “they will go as far as Carey Price can take them” and he has put in a pretty fucking decent job of it despite all of the team’s other struggles, I feel like it is owed it to the guy to be like “Okay, well, we have somebody else solid to fill the net right now, and a chance to really figure out our defence and special teams with this new coach. Why don’t you take a step back and work your ass off at trying to get back into the form I know you can still perform at, and we’ll go from there?”

Anyway. Some parts of this fanbase have been waiting for a fresh excuse to claim Price is overrated, washed-up, and to blame for all of this team’s flaws and ills ever since he signed that contract, if not since the start of his NHL career. Just unreal how nasty some of this fanbase is willing to be about a player who is ON. YOUR. TEAM.

Am I saying he is beyond critique of his play and can do no wrong and his contract is perfect? No! I want this team to have the best goaltending it can get, and I want them to kick ass and take names. The difference is, I still believe Carey Price is a part of that winning formula, and I also think Twitter is overflowing with idiots who just repeat what everybody else says. He’s still a better goalie than your ass would be if I stuck you out there to stop shots from Mark Schieffle, for crap’s sake.

“The first thing that has to go is Carey Price’s contract 🤪”. Shut the fuck up. You are actively making other people stupider by talking. Go eat sand. Good day.

#It’s Time For My Opinion #I put so much time into this I hope it’s coherent lol #habs #Carey price #montreal canadiens #long post

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