if this makes no sense I'm sorry, tired and trying to indulge: how do you imagine a Husbands Of River Song type deal (in-universe fun cute bittersweet, out of universe we owe this character an apology) for Jenny going?

OH i had to drag out my laptop for this one!!! so many thoughts!

my initial thing is like -- there is a real crucial difference btwn jenny and river that i think would make it super difficult to write anything husbands of river song-esque. river is mishandled at times but she's always clearly presented as a character we should root for and enjoy, even if we don't 100 percent know her motives -- because she's all but stated to be the doctor's wife, we know that at some point in time the doctor will love and trust her, which means that we as viewers have room to love and trust her too even without full info! her retconned backstory is intended to give us that info and show us exactly why we should treasure her, and imo i think that while i take issue with some of the details/execution, the concept is so fucking sweet??? like holy shit, the daughter of two of the doctor's companions, who we have gotten to know over the course of a season and we've watched fall in love? her superpowers and her alien-ness coming from an act of love in the tardis on their wedding night? she's literally a born traveler. she was conceived in space.

my absolute worship and adoration of amy/rory is possibly jumping out here, but i personally love seeing their baby and getting to go "that's their baby :)" so no issue at all with melody pond. it's hard (for me at least!) not to love river when you look at her as amy and rory's daughter!! so much anger and bitey rage and impulsivity and adventure (amy) and so much unwavering devotion to a partner who is not verbally demonstrative but who shows their love through awkwardly expressed physical affection & grand romantic gestures of devotion (rory)!!! and i am getting SO off track i just. am back in the sauce. my POINT is that we are given a billion reasons to love river, and the show loves river, and you can feel that.

conversely, jenny.... the show is kinda built to ice her out? she's giles's girlfriend, which gives her a pass to exist, and her retconned backstory is essentially constructed to make it sadder when she eventually dies. like, if we think about it, ALL of the weight of her death comes from the fact that she's trying to redeem herself -- for this backstory that was made up in the eleventh hour. jenny is essentially given depth to make her murder a cool storytelling moment, which is fundamentally horrendous, and not at all something i can ever see this show doing to river. (i think there are similarities, but river's death is sorta retroactively given weight through later episodes that turn her into a person, which feels in many ways like the inverse of what happens to jenny. both of their deaths bring them narrative interiority in different ways.)

soooo all of this to say that i have A LOT of trouble constructing a husbands of river song situation for jenny, because i think that would require the buffyverse to have even the slightest iota of awareness as to the scope of how wrong they did jenny! dw i think was very aware of what was done to river, more so as the years went on -- we see that in the name of the doctor, when we're given post-library river who is clearly heartbroken and feels abandoned! and the husbands of river song was such a beautiful way to try and give river a storyline that shows us the rich life she's led outside of the doctor -- to make it feel less like she revolves around him and stops existing when he's not in the picture. it reinforces this dynamic where she and the doctor are travelers in each other's lives. they're both having fun with it, even if there's always grief woven in.

i feel very strongly that the show itself fundamentally believes jenny's death to be a Good Smart Thing, an Important Thing, and so any attempt to apologize for doing it would go against that fundamental belief -- that we so often see repeated verbatim in the fandom! so many people going "i'm so sad for giles but this was such an amazing moment!" which is HORRENDOUS. and which is also probably why i am so "this is my specialest girl" about jenny. she should live.

but if i was to come up with something, i think it would actually be in the form of a post-canon tie-in novel, or maybe some kind of extended special episode -- not the show itself! i would want jenny to be removed from this specific narrative that thinks her death was righteous -- that she exists instead in a story that's for her. and the plot that follows is actually very loosely the plot of a fic i kind of wanna write but have never knuckled down and written. someday!!!

when i was working on figuring out what you make, i gave jenny a cousin (nora) who has awe-inspiring magical powers but who absolutely refuses to use them for anything constructive. she's a very no-nonsense judgy fighty weird-about-her-emotions type, and she's got the world's softest husband & their three babies. i've always liked the idea of writing something where she finds out about jenny's death, goes, "well! FUCK that, actually," and just, like, casually resurrects jenny in a way that (let's throw in some doctor who lmao) is maybe a little time-bendy? like maybe she scoops jenny's consciousness out of her the moment before death, and then manages to revive the body? lots of weirdness so that jenny's not being snatched out of the afterlife. nora's methodical like that. but BECAUSE this is a very weird and roundabout process, jenny's memories are a little scrambled, and that means she really doesn't remember anything about sunnydale in a way that's super coherent!

and all of this coalesces into giles, in some random ass colorado town for no reason, getting rung up at an adorable little family grocery store By Jenny and nearly having a fucking heart attack. so essentially the whole plot is just giles trying to first come to terms with SEEING jenny, then kinda clawing at the walls about the whole thing, THEN trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and maybe restore jenny's memories in the process, while meanwhile nora has snapped into full-on protective mom mode because she doesn't think he deserves any kind of contact with jenny ever. the implicit narrative suggestion would be -- maybe it's better if jenny DOESN'T remember him, yk?

i think it would make the most emotional sense for this to happen over the summer between s2 and s3, because it would be able to be this cute one-off where it also feels believable that giles and jenny's relationship could eventually recover from this. this of course systemically destroys giles's arc in the entire rest of the show and sends the whole thing crashing down like dominoes, because, like i said, show fundamentally believes that jenny should be dead. i can't speak for how the rest of canon would look after that, which sorta defeats the purpose of "adorable little one-off tribute" -- but if jenny does get her memories back, it's always possible that she and giles sequester herself away from canon somehow?

but also, if it's a one-off, it could end in some awfully bittersweet way where giles actually decides to let jenny go, or to let nora keep his memories of the summer, or something. like jenny's memories actually don't come back, even though she and giles are of course spending time together and she is shown to be still very clearly in love with him. i feel like that would probably be the ending that would most hammer home the fact that canon is a cesspool, giles is returning to it, and maybe jenny would do better away from a narrative that thinks she's most compelling when she's dead. (this is the ending i personally feel would be most truthful and make the most sense.)

THOUGH i just actually thought about it for a moment and. if we're being real here? jenny would choose to stay. so that's probably also important. i think there could be something really compelling about giles trying to Make This Choice on her behalf that we as the viewers have been shown is actually a pretty damn good choice, and she knuckles down and goes "counterpoint: i love you enough to want to die all over again." which is insane and deranged and i don't know whether i actually would want them to end this together or not. but that does reflect my general feelings about g/j, on occasion.

The fun thing about writers offering new info with no basis in the game/book/movie itself as originally presented is that you're perfectly free to chuck it out with the all the other headcanons you think are nonsense if you don't agree. It's no more "canon" than any of those. To use an extreme example, it's like when a certain TERF bitch no one loves anymore declared that her characters are all constantly shitting their pants and absolutely no one took her seriously.

Mettaton, tell me all about the robot guy

METTATON MY BELOVED MY LITTLE MEOWMEOW MY SLUTTY TAX BENEFITS HUSBAND

this man is so complicated i had to redo the sliding scale part and tbh i still think i did a bad job bc he's so hard to get down like he's the worst but also the best he's a huge selfish bitch but he is also capable of so much genuine kindness. so in a lot of places it cancels out

i say "less romance" even though he has none in canon just bc the fandom annoys me with shipping, you cannot tell me this man would be happy in a monogamous romantic relationship

anyway this bitch needs to reconnect with his family and make up with his best friend also mettaton neo deserved so much better i'm still pissed about how his death was handled

also i need financial compensation give me money so i can buy more merch /j

Some "Special" Girls! And the late girls.

Ko-fi | Patreon

I'm Charles hive I've never said a bad word about Charles ever in my life let’s go FERRARI 

why do i find this so funny

Damian brought home another pet and Dick started to question his life choices. Again.

Reference photo is under the cut:

sometimes i laugh because i remember that both of the characters in this screenshot have canonically killed police officers, onscreen, with blood

Actually you know what I need to rant about this: while literati is technically a good girl x bad boy dynamic it is written so incredibly well and avoids so many pitfalls and stereotypes that it makes a good girl x bad boy hater like myself (I’m only half joking — I don’t think any trope is inherently good or bad but I tend to dislike most pairings with this dynamic) fall head over heels for their story and relationship.

So much of what makes the two of them work is the contrast between how others perceive them and how they truly are. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who understand who Rory is as a person (Lorelai, Lane, Paris, Richard and Emily to a certain degree for starters), but she's constantly met with the expectation that she just does good and is supposed to make everyone proud 24/7. Stars Hollow as a group especially are big on this, as seen f. ex. through how Taylor takes Rory's one comment about an inappropriate DVD and twists the whole thing into a censorship crusade and makes Rory its poster-child even though she wants nothing to do with it and tells him so repeatedly. But instead of hearing Rory disagree with him (like he would Lorelai and Luke) he assumes that she actually agrees with him - and why shouldn't she when she's the perfect sunshine paragon of good who would never disagree with her elders? Also her grandparents treat her as incredibly fragile and childlike, like she must be too innocent to ever do anything wrong and so whenever she does something it has to be somebody else's fault (usually Lorelai, but occasionally Jess or whoever else was present). Time and time again Rory is treated like something innocent and naive and weak — but not by Jess. He sees her as a person.

And it obviously goes the other way too. Jess is treated like shit by pretty much everyone else. Either people hate him unprovoked or very much provoked (he did do a lot of pranks in his first few weeks and while I'm a Dean-hater I'm not blind to how much Jess picked fights with him), or they’ve simply given up on him. He tells Rory himself that every authority figure he had back in New York gave up on him too, from teachers to principals to his very own mother. But Rory doesn’t treat him like a lost cause, she treats him like the smart, brilliant and asshole-ish teen that he is. By having faith in him she also often holds him more accountable than others. Where f. ex. Lorelai or the other adults just roll their eyes, Rory physically drags Jess into doing his shifts at the diner. While others write him off, Rory chews Jess’ ear out for not helping Luke more and for willfully making enemies out of the Stars Hollow adults.

They don't put each other on pedestals or below each other. Jess doesn’t try to make a sinner out of Rory and she doesn’t try to make a saint out of him. There’s genuine respect between them. They expect each other to have integrity and treat others with kindness and honesty, and the rest is good old chemistry and common interests.

I particularly love how in so many of their scenes (especially pre-relationship) when they spend time alone they just get to be these goofy nerdy kids. They argue about controversial authors and dig through records shops and eat hot dogs and make fun of each other and try to make each other laugh. It’s not just sexual chemistry as it too often is in a dynamic like this (and often uncomfortably sexual when writing teenagers - looking at you Gossip Girl), and not just well written intellectual chemistry — they have platonic chemistry too. A hell of a lot of it actually.

While I don’t think ASP wrote them through a purely deconstructionist lens on the good girl x bad boy dynamic (if she did plan on writing the dynamic at all), there is something to be said about how where many around them treat them like stereotypes they treat each other like people. To so many people, Rory is a perfect small town princess, a little miss sunshine with booksmarts for days but too delicate and sweet for anything with grit and weight. To a lot of the same people and many more Jess is a pathetic brutish and maniacal lost cause, hell personified in a chainsmoking leather-wearing teenager. But to each other they are actual human beings. Kind and mean and flirtatious and scared and reckless and smart. Rory really thinks that with the right motivation and mindset Jess can be the kind who does (and at the end wrote) incredible things. Jess really believes that with a little more practice and support to step out of her comfort zone she can be the amazing journalist she wishes to be.

They don’t have this stupid «we’re so bad for each other but we can’t stay away» thing that too many trope users rely on and don’t even justify in the plot. Everyone else might think they’re not fit for each other, but they knew they were each other’s person from the very first day.

Make Me.

Black Bird 1x01 - Jimmy Keene

i'll never get over just how utterly beautiful maddie buckley is

They should invent hysterectomies for robots

What's your favorite Undertale ship? Your number 1 otp?

obviously p*pyton the chemistry is soooooo there and it makes sense for both of their characters uwu

Questioning your life choices yet, Xenk?

Very Important Moments Part 2 in The Righteous Gemstones, I Will Take You By The Hand And Keep You