@imahyperfixatedbitch
Here is your gift for Secret Santa! I hope you like it!
(It's under the cut due to trigger warning since there's a lot that happened that night.)
TW: trauma, character death
Jess winced every single time she thought of him. Josh Washington. Many didn't think they were that close but they were. He was like a brother to her, a close friend, companion, her first kiss (though that was a secret they never spoke of.)
It started in kindergarten, Jess being transferred to a new school due to the divorce, a school outside of the town of Berkeley, CA. As the little blonde girl walked in, the twin braids she had kept till that night. She was alone, many looking at her strangely, but she still kept her head high. Suddenly, a little girl came running past, chased by a girl who looked the same, the only difference was one wore glasses and one didn’t. Other than that, they were identical. The teacher sighed, rubbing her forehead as she stopped the girls.
“Everyone take a seat on the floor!” She yelled as everyone quickly ran to their spots. Jess stood frozen. She didn’t have a spot.
“You can sit by me.” Stated the little girl without the glasses. Jess smiled and took a seat, her hands tucked together. She wore a pink sweater and jeans, a pair of matching pink Converse.
“I’m Jess.” She waved at the girl. The sister with the glasses sat on Jess’s other side. They both had dark hair that was extremely long, both wearing similar shirts and pants in different colors. Beth seemed quiet, staying a bit to herself, but Hannah was open and forward. She was kind and caring and had opened up quite quickly to them. Inviting her to sit with them at lunch.
“I’m Hannah. That’s Beth.” They both waved as everyone quieted down to listen to the teacher. A smile warmed Jess’s face. Make first friends in the new town, check.
As the years passed, Beth and Hannah grew closer with Jess. Throughout the playdates, the school events they hung out at, the times Jess’s mom invited them over for sleepovers. However, Jess had never gone over to Hannah and Beth’s house. They made excuses, that they were busy or that no one was home at the time. Jess didn’t buy it.
When Jess got her permit, she immediately showed up at their house, finally facing the situation head on. She knocked on the door, gently opening with a “Hang on!” Beth appeared, her short hair hidden under her usual beanie. Her eyes widened as she shut the door behind her.
“What are you doing here?” She muttered as Jess crossed her arms.
“Are you embarrassed of me?” Beth’s eyes widened more and she shook her head. “Cause I feel like you’re embarrassed of me. We’ve been friends for years and I’ve never even met your parents.”
“I know and I’m sorry. Jess, you're my best friend. I could never be embarrassed but our families are very different. Your mom is so inviting and caring. My mom is too busy to think about having people over, The only people who come over are my dad’s work friends.”
“Oh.” Jess felt guilty, terrible really. “I’m sorry I came then.” As she went to leave she saw the door swing open behind Beth, a young man appearing.
“I swear if your nerd friends are here finally Beth I-” The teenager stopped quickly, staring at the blonde girl. “You aren’t what I expected. Where’s Chris?” Beth pushed the boy back in annoyance.
“Josh, stop. This is Jess.” Josh’s gray green eyes widened. Jess stood awkwardly. He was a nice looking young man, with dark hair matching theirs, but it was very curly. He had tan skin and was tall and lanky, wearing a flannel. She waved innocently and sighed before feeling the tension build up.
“I should go.”
“No. Jess, this is Josh, my older brother. Josh, this is Jess.” Josh nodded as he outstanded his hand to shake her. She gently shook it, feeling the awkwardness in the air. Who knew that was a start to a great friendship.
Everytime Jess came over, Josh greeted her at the door. More were introduced to the party, Chris was introduced by Josh, then Ashley by Beth, then Sam by Hannah. Matt was introduced later on from Ashley and Emily by Jess. Josh included Mike due to dating Emily. The group grew, and so did Jess and Josh’s friendship. Josh goofed around with Jess when times got rough, always bringing a smile to her face. He’d sit outside with her and try to cheer her up.
She remembered a time when a guy broke up with her because she wouldn’t kiss him. She didn’t know how to. Sure, a peck on the cheek and a kiss on the forehead, but nothing ever more.
She showed up at the Washington estate with tears in her eyes. She needed a shoulder to cry on. She knocked on the door, waiting to see Beth’s bright smile to calm her down and tell her he wasn’t worth her first kiss.
Instead it was Josh’s fat smirk.
“Oh shit. Hey Josh.” She muttered, quickly rubbing her eyes to cover her tears. He stopped the smirk and rapidly tried to change the situation.
“Jess, are you okay?” She looked up, her eyes red and puffy. SHe nodded her head and turned the walk away but he grabbed her arm. She looked back before he gestured her in. She walked in the house before falling onto the couch and sobbing.
“What the hell happened?” She sighed as he took a seat next to her.
“Caleb broke up with me because I don't know how to kiss.” Josh sat back, anger raring through him. Caleb was a jock, but he was also a dickhead. He could have any girl he wanted in the school. Poor Jess was his next pick.
“That’s ridiculous. Jess you are worth so much more than a kiss.” Muttered Josh as he gently patted her back, trying to console her. She was sobbing, her head in her hands, bangs stuck in her eyes.
“Will you kiss me then!?” She exclaimed sarcastically. Her eyes widened when she realized what she had just said. As she grew farther from Beth and Hannah, she had grown closer with Josh. It didn’t upset Beth or Hannah particularly, the group had grown closer as a whole unit.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean that it’s just, ugh this is embarrassing.” She sighed before putting her head down. “I’ve never kissed someone before. That’s why we broke up. I didn’t know how to kiss him.” Josh nodded his head before putting his face near hers.
“As your friend, I will teach you how to kiss on one condition.” Jess sat back, staring at him intently.
“What is your condition?” Josh grinned, and Jess immediately became worried. He quickly dropped the smirk, becoming serious.
“We keep this a secret okay?” Jess nodded as her hands became sweaty. She was really about to kiss Josh? This was not how she had planned it. But Josh was a close friend, and out of everyone, she really felt extremely comfortable around him. He was always making her laugh and confronting her when times got hard. Maybe in another universe Jess would meet him and fall in love with him. She would realize what she deserved and not settle for men who treated her terribly. Maybe, just maybe.
Josh moved closer, one hand on her hip, the other on one side of ehr face. As he moved closer, Jess adjusted, scooching closer to him, their noses nearly touching. This was happening, holy crap.
For a brief second, she felt a spark as their lips touched. His lips were softer than she anticipated. He didn’t try anything past a simple, gentle kiss. It was nice. She felt safe. Seen. She didn’t feel like she was being used or taken advantage of. She was just kissing a close friend for practice. That was really it.
He pulled away, opening his eyes. Her gray eyes shined as she pulled back. For a second she sat frozen. Did this really just happen? Josh just smiled. She felt sweaty and nervous.
“You okay?” Asked Josh. She just smiled and nodded.
Jess never forgot that day. As she laid in bed, she was reminded of him. It happened often. She remembered hugging him after Hannah and Beth’s disappearance. It took a while but after some time and many apologies, they were back on speaking terms. Jess felt horrible about what happened, she still did. She stopped for a second, feeling her stomach ache. She wanted to throw up thinking about what she did.
Josh and Jess were close and she felt sick thinking about what happened. How could she do that? She hurt him, not intentionally, but still. She missed him everyday, she missed them all. Emily didn’t really talk to her anymore, the closest person she had was Mike. Matt texted her every once in a while. Ashley, Sam, and Chris all stayed close, but she felt awkward including herself.
She suffered a lot after that night, but she couldn;t imagine what Josh’s family was dealing with. She wished he was back, telling her jokes and making her laugh. She wished Hanah was still hanging out with them and Beth was singing like she always did. It made Jess cry sometimes. Thinking of his end.
They found his body three days later, and that thing crushed his head. Jess remembered the memorial. She didn’t go since she was still laid up due to the hip injury and the surgery she had to have from the fracture. She wasn’t sure if she would have been welcomed there anyway. She wasn’t herself yet, and it took a long time for her to feel comfortable in her new skin. The scars, the limp, and the mindset.
Somehow she knew things would be alright though. She had a mother that loved her and helped take care of her, she had Matt and Mike to talk her through panic attacks.
But they weren’t Josh. No one would ever fill the hole of Josh. He was his own person and he was the best. She wondered what he would have done with his life. Would he have followed in his father’s footsteps and become a filmmaker? He always did like making these YouTube videos and movies. He always asked for film equipment for Christmas. Sometimes she would go through pictures and videos when she was super upset and missing him. It was okay though. He was in a better place, he was with Hannah and Beth now.
As Jess wiped the tears from her eyes, she remembered the good times. That’s all she could do. Her mind went back to their kiss occasionally. He was a good guy, but he needed help that he never got. She remembered when Mike told her what he did. She couldn’t believe it. Why would he do it? It was shocking to say the least. She knew she deserved it, but Sam and Chris. They really did nothing wrong. It just proved how much help Josh needed. While he was grieving, it didn’t give him the right to nearly kill so many of his friends.
She looked down at the picture, thinking about him. She missed him more than she could ever explain. She missed his smile, his jokes, his hugs, his parties, his ability to make everyone laugh. There was so much about him that couldn’t be replaced. The world was a bit emptier without him. There was no one like the one and only Josh Washington.
Jess reminded herself to visit his grave this week. He always loved the snow like Jess did. Maybe she’d buy those lilies that he would always give her on her birthday. He would like that. She would too.
We miss you Joshua Washington. I miss you Josh. I miss everything about you. Rest easy my friend. You deserve it more than anyone. Please say hi to Hannah and Beth for me.
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The Four Daughters of Darkness
ASHLEY
The first thing Ashley notices is that she feels nothing. It all feels numb and she can’t think or feel. The helicopter is silent and she can’t help but notice there are only three people in it. All she does is stare at the ground, unable to move, unable to feel.
She almost had hope that maybe some of the others had somehow made it out, but that fantasy was long gone now.
When they get to the police station, there are a few parents waiting anxiously. Ashley knows that they are waiting for people who are dead and who are never coming back home. Still, she feels nothing.
She feels nothing when Mike’s dad comes in demanding to see his son, only for him to get taken into a private room.
She feels nothing when Jess is ushered into the station covered in so much blood and for the first time that night, Ashley watches as Emily Davis cries.
She feels a pang of something when Mrs Hartley runs in and speaks to an officer, begging to see her son. Still, all she can do is stare when she turns to face her, horror written on the mother's face.
And suddenly, watching Chris’ mum collapse onto the floor, unable to hold herself up as she cries, Ashley feels everything.
It’s all too real and she suddenly can’t stop crying. She barely registers that someone is hugging her tightly because she can’t see anything. Still, Sam’s arms hold her tightly.
On the way home, Ashley feels nothing and everything and it's all so confusing and she still can’t stop crying. Her mum says nothing, unable to look at her broken daughter, knowing that these scars will never fade.
Sam comes over a lot, although most of the time they don’t talk. They just heal, together, slowly.
The funerals are horrible - all closed casket of course. Some didn’t even have bodies to bring home.
Everything that Ashley used to once love is ruined, scarred by the night she just wishes she could forget.
She tries to read a novel she was halfway through before she left - some period piece. But then one of the characters gets decapitated and she throws up.
She doesn’t read for a long time after that.
Ashley may have survived - but her soul, her heart, was still on that mountain. And she has a horrible feeling it is never coming back.
SAM
To put it simply, Sam is angry. So fucking angry.
Angry at Josh, for causing this whole horrible, nightmarish weekend to happen.
Angry at Mike, for sacrificing his life to save hers.
Hell, she’s even pissed off at Ashley and Emily, because how come they are here when Hannah and Beth aren’t?
But as soon as she looks at her only two surviving friends, and how broken they are, her anger at them immediately disappears. Because how could she be angry at two girls who look so lost, who have lost just as much as she has?
Because really, she isn’t angry at any of them. She’s only angry at herself.
Because maybe if she had paid more attention to Josh when he needed it he would have come to her for help instead of inviting everyone here.
And if she hadn’t moved, then Mike would still be here, in the helicopter with them.
Sam gets so frustrated during her interview because of course, no one believes her. She is so sick of the pitiful glances and sad smiles they give her as Sam tries to explain what killed all her friends.
“Poor girl.” she overhears them say. “She’s been through so much, of course she’s making things up. It’s a coping thing.”
She wants to scream.
Sam’s breath catches in her throat as she watches Jessica enter the room, barely conscious, barely alive, almost not believing what she is seeing.
And she holds Ashley so tight when she finally breaks down, as if she could protect her from everything that she’s seen
“It’s okay. We’re safe now.”
The whole night, Sam has felt like the leader. It feels as though she's aged ten years in one night.
But when Sam’s parents run in, looking for their daughter, Sam feels like a child again. And it’s Sam’s turn to cry because it’s really over and she can go home.
Home.
And she stays at home for weeks after that, never wanting to leave again.
But Sam tries to celebrate her small victories. Having a shower. Cooking herself a meal. Walking to the shop on the corner shop by herself. Going to the gym again.
Little by little, she tries to go back to the closest thing to normal that she can.
She starts to visit Ashley a lot, because at least she understands. They have both looked death in the eye, both watched the life drain from someone. They’ve both lost their best friend and the one they love now.
All they have now is each other.
JESSICA
Jessica is cold, and hurt, and so so confused.
She has no idea what’s happening when a helicopter comes and picks her up from where she’s barely standing.
But she doesn't want to sit down because it's snowing and she's only in her underwear and she's so cold.
She doesn’t say anything the whole ride back, only one thing keeps repeating in her head.
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.
She still remembers his broken screams as he chased after her, how he chased after her without a second thought.
She’s so tired she doesn’t even notice that there are only three people at the police station instead of 8.
They ask her questions at the station, things she can’t understand.
“Where is he? Did he make it?”
The glances the police give each other tell her everything she needs to know.
And suddenly she can't breathe or see anything.
She feels herself getting dragged out of the room before she passes out completely.
When she wakes back up, she’s in a hospital, with drips coming out of her arms.
And she sees at the end of her bed her dad holding her mom who is silently crying and… Emily?
She tries to speak but the only sound that comes out is a hoarse cough.
And the sudden feeling of Emily Davis actually giving her a hug is the first time that Jess allows herself to feel safe.
The first thing Jess does when she gets home is cry. Just full, guttural sobs that hurt so much because so much of her is broken.
Because she’s only just looked at herself in the mirror and all she can see is scars
And suddenly her future, her dreams are crumbling in front of her.
It takes her almost a year to uncover her mirrors again.
Jess never fully learns to love, or hell, even like her body again, but in the end she feels a sense of pride surrounding it.
It shows her that she survived, and if she can survive that, then she is fairly sure she could survive anything.
EMILY
Emily refuses to believe what she has just witnessed.
She refuses to believe that Ashley really saw Chris die, because how could that stupid, sweet oaf die right in front of her?
She refuses to believe that Mike, who pointed a gun right at her head only hours before, was left in that pile of ash that was once that haunted lodge.
How dare he die before she got to slap his stupid, perfect little face for trying to kill her?
She, stupidly, had hope that if anyone would have gotten out, it would be Matt.
Matt, who died somewhere in those horrifying caves, died trying to save her.
Stupid, brave Matt. A debt that she will never be able to repay.
Jessica being alive, however, was something she had not even let herself consider.
Mike was so certain that she was dead and Emily hadn’t even given herself a chance to mourn her best friend before she saw being dragged into the station, barely moving.
Watching her in the hospital, with so many tubes coming out of her body, Emily isn’t even sure why she was so mad at Jess to begin with.
How could she have let something as stupid as boys get in between their friendship?
Emily knew more than ever before that life was too short and cruel to hold a grudge. Not with Jess.
The first thing Emily does when she gets home is burn her suitcase. She wants no reminders of the hell she went through.
The clothes she was once so proud to own and flaunt are a pile of ash in her backyard. She can’t bring herself to give a single fuck.
She kicks some dirt in the disintegrated pile before she thinks of Mike, who faced a similar fate.
She’s not sure if she wants to kick it even more or somehow put it all back together.
She blocks Ashley on almost everything she can think of. She is quite happy if she never has to see her face ever again.
It takes Sam gently explaining how Ashley is healing before Emily lets herself forgive her. She was just a girl as well, after all.
No time for grudges. Not with the ones who suddenly understand her more than anyone.
No one expects Emily to be the one to reach out to all of them at the same time, least of all her.
They were in this together, whether they liked it or not. The four daughters of darkness.
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