#james is having a hard day
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@jegulus-microfic | march 21 support | words: 976
hiiii so i had the worst fucking time at work lately and i felt like i needed to disappear and wondered why i was a public enemy number 1. so to make myself feel better i wrote this (yes, you guessed- james is me; reg is my therapist 🤠). do i feel better? not really. do i hope someone else with similar feelings will find comfort in this? absolutely.
tw: anxiety, self hatred, everyone is mean
James lay on the carpet and looked up at the fluorescent stars on the ceiling. He was having a shitty day; he started it with a huge smile on his face, but as he walked into the coffee shop he always passed on his way to work, the barista looked at him like he had just killed their pet. Maybe they're having a bad day, he thought.
So he ordered his coffee, waited until the order was ready, and watched the barista. They served another customer with a radiant smile on their faces. Well, maybe they just don't like me.
The thought made him lose his spark a little, but as he grabbed the paper cup and left with a cheery see you tomorrow, he plastered that bright smile back on his face.
It hasn’t stayed there for a long time. While waiting for the light to turn green, he looked at the girl holding her mother's hand and winked at her. The woman at her side must have read it wrong, because she frowned at him and led the girl as far away from him as the other people would let them. Yeah, she didn’t get it right; I was just trying to be friendly, not creepy.
As the day went by, there were similar situations waiting for him at every corner: his boss walked to the break room while James was making tea and gave him a nasty look; his colleagues didn't say a word to him all day, apart from polite greetings. James needed help with some paperwork and asked Carolina from accounting about it. She just huffed and took the papers with an eye roll.
He didn’t get it—what was he doing wrong? He was nice as ever, smiling at everyone and trying not to get in anyone’s way, yet still, each person with whom he interacted that day seemed to hate him.
Even Sirius seemed angry with him when, after being asked if he wanted to come over and watch today’s game, the long-haired man replied i can’t.
By 4:00, when he finished work, there was a purple spot on his hand where he was pinching himself to get his mind off of the whole everyone-hates-me thing. He walked out of the building, saying his goodbyes with a small smile and sad eyes that no one seemed to notice. He walked the five blocks from work to his flat, looking down, deep in thought.
What did I do? Are they mad at me for taking that sick leave last week? I didn’t even know they needed my help so much; I shouldn’t have done that. Was I rude to that barista the last time I went there? And Sirius? He’s never like this; I had to muck something up.
The spiral went on and on until James realised he was at the entrance to the building he lived in. And now he’s here, lying on the floor, looking at the stars he and Regulus put up there so long ago. James wondered if his boyfriend would also be mad at him.
He didn’t know how much time has passed before he heard a key turning and the door creaking. He still lay on the carpet when Regulus shouted, “Hi, baby! How was your day?”
“Good, I guess,” James replied robotically. As the younger man walked into the room, he heard a sigh and quick steps, and suddenly Regulus was looking down at him with a face James couldn’t exactly read from this perspective. “Am I a bad person, Reggie?”
His boyfriend crouched next to him, putting his fingers in James’ hair. That was the first thing today that didn’t make him feel like a piece of garbage.
“Que s'est-il passé chéri?” James has heard this question so many times for the last six years that he didn’t need translation, so he just started rumbling about everything that happened and everything he felt.
The longer he talked, the harder it was to hold back the tears in his eyes. When the first rolled down his cheek, Regulus laid down next to him, taking his face into his hand and caressing it gently with a thumb.
“You’re not a bad person, mon rayon de soleil,” Reg whispered to James, looking straight into his eyes with so much adoration and honesty that it made him cry harder.
They stayed on the floor, with James crying quietly and Regulus cradling his face. It took another eternity for the older man to calm down, but when he finally did, he sat up, rubbing at his eyes. Regulus stood up, extending his hand to help James up and putting his arm around the other’s waist for support. James felt sour after so much time spent in one position, so it actually was easier to walk like this.
Regulus sat him down on a couch and went to the kitchen to make them tea and pasta al pesto. Moments later, he was back at James side. They ate in peaceful silence, yet James' brain was still racing. Regulus must’ve noticed it, because he put their dishes on the coffee table and pulled James to his chest.
“Baby, you could start a cult,” he started into the crown of James’ head, “and you would still be better than anyone else. Even if you did something wrong, you would immediately try to fix it, and this is not a bad-person trait. You did nothing to piss all those people off; it was just an unlucky coincidence. They all had a bad day today, and apparently instead of dealing with it in a mature way, they decided to act like a bunch of kids. It’s not your fault. You’re not a bad person,” Regulus repeated the words like a thousand times.
James still had his doubts.
But James felt better.
translation: Que s'est-il passé chéri? -> What happened, darling?
#jegulus#starchaser#dead gay wizards#james potter#james x regulus#regulus black#jegulus microfic#marauders#the marauders#modern au#james is having a hard day#i’m so sorry for this#reggie my beloved#they’re so cute#angst ig#angst/comfort#kinda#idk
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A walk in the Sun
#ttte#ttte humanized#ttte thomas#ttte percy#Henry and James designs are still in the works so apologies if they look kinda strange#sane's art#ttte james#ttte gordon#ttte henry#there is tehnically edward.... if you squint hard enough...#but woo I finally finished this before my trip#-so I'm prob gonna be uploading traditional in the meantime (till jan new years ehe)#digital art#thomas and friends#thomas the tank engine#btw Thomas is in his 'casual' or shunting fit in this one#They rest are wearing mainly their work outfits// minus hats#anws have a good day everyone!!!
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Very rushed, but happy birthday to our half-blood prince
#sev's curiosity got the better of him#yes more jeverus#because i have zero self control#dont worry the present ismt harmful#its gonna follow him around and spitting out confetti and gifts#and act like a lil puppy for the rest of the day#james worked hard on that lil guy#jeverus#snames#pro snape#pro severus snape#junie art post#jamesxseverus#james potter x severus snape
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The Beatles with George Martin, circa February 25, 1964, recording: 'Can’t Buy Me Love', 'You Can’t Do That', 'And I Love Her', 'I Should Have Known Better' / Location: EMI Studios, Abbey Road - Studio Two
Photos © Apple Corps Ltd.
(http://www.thebeatles.com/)
#the beatles#paul mccartney#george harrison#ringo starr#john lennon#george martin#a hard day's night#dick james#abbey road studios#can’t buy me love#you can’t do that#and i love her#I should have known better
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remus loves folklore books, lily loves fantasy books, regulus loves classical books, peter loves comic books, emmeline loves detective books, dorcas loves poetry books, mary loves romance books, james loves sci-fi books, marlene loves rock magazines, sirius loves play scripts
#sirius would read beginnings and ends of loads of books to seem more well read than he is#but he does not have the patience for an entire novel. loves reading/acting out plays tho#he'd love duchess of malfi fr and anything tennesee williams#marlene hates reading. finds it hard. and boring. magazines are as far as she's willing to go#james is a sci fi kid!! he also reads really fast but then loses attention after like 10 minutes and takes a break for a day or so#aroace mary who loves fictional romance <333 so real#emmeline tries to work out the mystery before the book detective. she's usually wrong. the girl's a failure and i love her for it#comic book peter is so me. dc not marvel!! okay he can read some marvel. occasionally. only spiderman tho.#regulus is a snob. never read a non classical book for leisure once in his life#fantasy lily!! she's such a hobbit/lord of the rings fan btw#remus is living up to his name and his boyfriends nickname#marauders era#marauders#remus lupin#lily evans#regulus black#peter pettigrew#emmeline vance#dorcas meadowes#mary macdonald#james potter#marlene mckinnon#sirius black
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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: MARS (PART 2)
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Maj. Kaidan Alenko, Lt. James Vega, and Dr. Liara T'Soni
With: The Illusive Man and Dr. Eva Coré
Your vision is pathetically limited. You were a tool- an agent with a singular purpose. And despite our differences? You were relatively successful. But like the rest of the relics in this place, your time is over.
Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#shenko#james vega#kaidan alenko#sophie shepard#liara t’soni#the illusive man#eva core#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#ITS PART 2 BABY! I COULDNT GIF PEAK SHENKO CONTENT AND NOT MAKE HER A 2-PARTER YALL#these are my favorite bisexuals on the citadel i had to give mars a double feature ✨#‘the person i followed to hell and back the person i loved- are you in there somewhere?’ we cried. for real like this line THIS LINE#the first time i played ME3 it crushed me into a thousand pieces and it still does tbf#but like i also forgot how many good lines TIM has in this first mission until i was collecting footage while i was playing#like his lines go HARD (not javik ashes of a trillion dead souls hard but still)#also i may hate him but he looks fine as fuck in those new PV suits i will not lie#also im ngl the way femshep carries kaidan after he gets his head smashed against the side of the cruiser sends me every time i cannot#like sometimes you just have to carry your boyfriend like he's a sack of potatoes over your shoulder when he's bleeding to death!#like come on girl CARRY HIM BRIDAL STYLE or DONT CARRY HIM AT ALL#but on a serious note the way shep looks at kaidan back on the normandy? when he's in the med bay?#the way they just are so lost in him being injured?? in the possibility of him dying?? the panic in their eyes??#the way they only get brought back to reality when liara starts shouting?? chef's kiss tbh#bioware VS canon may be poo but the end of priority mars will always be famous to me#thanks for reading two gif sets worth of rants if you stayed for both!!!#i hope you have a good day!! 🥹✨
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33 minutes into Lamb (2021) and i am delightfully confused but also, Ingvar had ONE job. men can't fucking do anything, jesus fucking christ, it was a very simple piece of instruction. hell, even if you were gonna leave, WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN????
#james talks#james watches stuff#lamb#lamb 2021#also first Icelandic film so that's something#having a lot of fun with it so far#started this bc i needed a good movie after the back to back to back to back terrible movies i've had the misfortune of seeing#if this one turns out bad (for which it would have to turn HARD) i'm just gonna rewatch TASM and call it a day lmao#a24
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@jegulus-microfic | may 11 gentle | words: 573
part 1 | previous part
I don't know what's happening to me, so I'm pouring it all on James (i’m sorry)
tw: implied child abuse in the past, anxiety, dissociation
James sat at the dinner table, playing with his food rather than eating it, trying to silence his thoughts by concentrating on the conversation Sirius was having with Marlene about the next Quidditch game. Unfortunately, he was losing the battle between him and his mind—he couldn’t remember most of the time spent in the Great Hall, yet the one thing he remembers vividly are the silver eyes looking at him almost the whole time from across the room.
He was thinking about his last meeting with Regulus often—how the younger boy held him, whipped his tears more than once, and how he listened. It wasn’t much, but it meant the world to James.
And yet it still made him feel uncomfortable sometimes—what if Regulus used that knowledge against him? What if he was too scared by it all and went to Sirius and told him about it? Or even worse—what if he reached out to James’ parents to warn them?
He was overthinking again—James knew that. If the other boy did any of those things, he would know immediately what’s with Sirius’ straight-forwardness and his parents’ concern. And still…
The spiral in his head went on and on until he found himself at the Astronomy Tower again. He doesn’t know how or why he got there, but the moment he came back on earth, he sat on the cold stone, looking up at the night sky.
He was trying to find the northern star when the door creaked slightly and Regulus sat right beside him. The boy reached out and placed his hand over James' knee in silent question. In response, the Gryffindor just nodded once. Regulus lowered his hand and immediately started rubbing small circles on his knee with his thumb.
After a long moment of silence, Regulus’ gentle voice came to James’ ears.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling like I’m in some kind of trance or something, like—I don’t feel like I’m in my body feeling my emotions. It’s more like watching a movie in shit quality,” he answered quietly, resting his head on Regulus' shoulder. For some reason, the other boy's proximity, his touch, and the smell of strawberries and cigarettes on his body helped James calm down. “But it’s not always like that, you know? Normally, those thoughts aren’t so loud, and I don’t feel overwhelmed by them—they’re there, but I can live with them. But lately… I don’t even know what is happening; it has never been so bad.”
Regulus didn’t respond. He just perched his head on James’ and kept caressing his knee.
“You know you’re not too much, right?” he asked at last. “If it wasn’t for you, Sirius was going to die in that house. I can see the way you treat younger students, and not just Gryffindors—all of them, regardless of which house they are from. And you’re not doing it to rub it into others’ faces. Yes, you are loud and obnoxious—“
“Well, thanks,” James chuckled from where he was still lying on Reg’s shoulder.
“—BUT your heart is so pure, and each and every person in this castle can see it,” the younger boy finished, reaching with his free hand to the other boy's head to stroke his hair. James let out a content sigh at the feeling of slim fingers tangled in his curls.
“Thank you,” he whispered, closing his eyes and letting himself enjoy the moment of peace for some time.
#jegulus#james potter#regulus black#starchaser#sunseeker#james x regulus#the marauders#dead gay wizards#jegulus microfic#james is having a hard day#regulus is trying to help#they both need a hug#by: allyeardepression#500 words or more
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Rating: Teen and Up (Heavy emotional themes; strong language)
Fandom: Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Relationship(s): Byleth Eisner & Leonie Pinelli; Edelgard von Hresvelg/Byleth Eisner
Words: 7.2k
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Shaping a new world isn't easy. Life has been difficult for the Emperor and her trusted right hand lately, and Byleth could use a friend right now. Fortunately, Leonie’s in town to talk some sense into her.
#post-crimson flower#fire emblem#fe3h#fe3h fanfic#fire emblem three houses#edeleth#byleth x edelgard#byleth eisner#edelgard von hresvelg#leonie pinelli#the angst version of the drunken shenanigans fluff i put out the other day#the girls have a lot going on#i am Forcing byleth to make real friends#“dying's easy; living's hard” --george washington / hamilton --lin-manuel miranda --dr. james wilson / house md --various sources --me#i was watching stalker 1979 while writing this so uh. it’s kind of a bummer
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I’ve come to a realization….
I’m one of those authors that says “english isn’t my first language” and then writes the most advanced thing I’ve written in a while. No but it’s so real, english really isn’t my first language, I struggle to find the words for obvious objects and describing things ;-;
ex: calling a night stand a bed stand and getting caught by my dear mutual @be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie while she was editing something I wrote 💀
Also just forgetting to add words because in my mind I wrote them but in reality i didn’t-
#writing#writing is HARD#wth?#sorry for the rant#have a great day#avatar the way of water#avatar james cameron
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I think that comic creators should be forced to read the entirety of Ostrander & Yale's Suicide Squad run before they even THINK of using Amanda Waller in anything actually
#its like oh my god. read that book#i swear to god she is complex and has so much going on ans just like you NEED to read that book if you want the slightest CHANCE of doing#suicide squad justice#but then ofc ppl just care abt having a mean boss character they dont actually care about HER#i said comic creators bc its the writing and the art both#bc they dont do her character justice with the writing but then they also dont draw her anything like she looks like#like she is called 'the wall' for a reason guys she is NOT skinny as a twig like cmon#and shes not young either the woman is middle aged shes like 40s/50s#anyways. forcing ppl at gunpoint to read good suicide squad comics. instead of just slapping harley quinn on a team with some random#villains and calling it a day#also the suicide squad is supposed to be a MIX of heroes and villains!!! theres supposed to be varying moralities there! and waller isnt#evil guys istg- shes ambitious and kind of mean and p much ALWAYS stuck between a rock and a hard place but shes not evil!!!!#like cmon guys. its a book about heroes and villains on a team together doing off the books missions. its gonna have nuance esp in the#central kind of figure#godddddd ive been wanting to reread suicide squad SO bad these past 2 days#ever since plastique and waller showed up in nu52 jla im just like ahfiahdsuehdvdjc SUICIDE SQUAD#but i must stop myself. bc whenever i start reading multiple things at once THATS when shit hits the fan#and i go into a slump where i don't read comics for like 8 months and never finish the books im reading#so we're not going to do that but man am i tempted#maybe what i should do is watch the suicide squad movie. the james gunn one. maybe that would fix me actually#viola davis amanda waller goes sooooooo hard actually. casting choice of the century imo#and also they had rick flagg leading the team there which i respect. hes no ben turner but its something#especially since nu52 jla tried to turn steve trevor into a bargain bin rick flagg jr which was... certainly a choice#anyways <3333#also rip my stats this is a loss for feminism geoff johns just knocked kim yale out of my no 5 comic author spot on the tracker app 😔😔😔#im so sorry kim i didn’t mean to do you dirty like that ma'am#blah#suicide squad#dc comics#amanda waller
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hello miss padfootastic I am here to see if you have ever considered writing age gap prongsfoot???? idk how that would work, but I am leaving this prompt in your inbox and running away.
miss imp!!!
i have not considered this but i am absolutely listening. age gaps are…*chefs kiss*
so, i’m thinking it can go two ways.
1. mythical monsterfucking
one of them, say sirius, is like a hundred year old vampire—bit of a crotchety old man stereotype who doesn’t really like humans and keeps to himself, travelling the world in luxury and generally doing what he wants. cue like, 20-21 year old james potter who stumbles into his path and never lets go. he’s so fascinated by sirius, sirius is a bit baffled by this small, fragile human who isn’t scared of him??? even after finding out the truth??? it’s peak sunshine-grump dynamics where j slowly breaks his barriers down until sirius is practically worshipping this little human, becoming unbearable protective & not letting anyone touch him. james goes to university with a 300 year old figure of legend as his bodyguard, nbd. gets fucked by a dick older than his family lineage. ykno, that sort of thing.
(also,,,,if u really wanna go all the way,,,,think kraken!james with multiple limbs/tentacles who’s been isolated & othered for his very long life for being different and along comes sirius, coming right up to the sea just to talk to him, hang out, tell him stories. never once being intimidated or making him feel like a freak. just—smol, human sirius teaching love and tenderness and affection to a scarred, lonely monster. that’s all)
2. the normal, perhaps more scandalous, human route.
of course, the only valid option here is a sugar daddy dynamic. let’s see. i know sirius as the older one feels more typical, but i’m thinking…businessman james encountering teenage/young adult rebel sirius who runs away from his home. james offers to give him a house and food, all above the board. over time, sirius obv falls in love with him but j is an honourable man, turns down his advances bc he doesn’t want to take advantage of someone so vulnerable. of course, there’s some dubious notions of power imbalance & stuff here but arguably, that’s what makes it fun. it’ll be a very classic younger-person-chasing-the-older-one bc i’m a sucker for that trope and i can just see sirius being a little minx, eroding all of james’ self control using whatever means he could and not even feeling a little guilty about it.
#sirius black#james potter#bambibelle#prongsfoot#the fic dani and i are writing has j & s 4 years apart but no self respecting age gap fic would call it one lol l#it’s just that—prongsfoot is such a balanced dynamic for me that it’s so hard for me imagine anything that breaks that hehe#ok i have no idea how the logistics would work but i’m also thinking of siren!sirius luring helpless james now#i have never once thought of tentacle sex before this miss imp#(other than the infamous giant squid/hogwarts fic but we’re not counting that)#but i saw ur name and suddenly it was as if no other option was possible#what is this sorcery#now. can i write any of this? debatable. u need skill for that#i can do prompts all day long but ask me to elaborate on a single one of them and suddenly i am *gone* lmao#this is also perhaps the most scandalous thing i’ve said on main lololol#pen’s notes#pen’s asks
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Song of the Day: April 17
"Homemade Music" by Jimmy Buffett
#song of the day#well I said 'if I miss a day this week I'll reset the phone alarm' and then promptly missed the very next day so. alarm it is#by hook or by crook we will get some structure in this god damn sleep schedule#today's song is Homemade Music because Duncan showed me the music video and it is very vintage Jimmy. very fun#yesterday I did have a song picked and now I can't remember what it was for the life of me. something with a sustained vowel sound#Etta James or Florence Welch? Orville Peck? I cannot recall. somebody was wailin though#tomorrow's going to be a hard day to start but it'll finish well. I just gotta make it past lunchtime without the creek rising
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YouTube keeps trying to funnel me into an alt-right pipeline (weirdly through reaction channels in the last few weeks) and i'm so fucking tired. i'm just so fucking tired.
#james talks#YouTube#and this is exactly why i've had to get in a habit of checking the socials of every person YouTube recommends to me—#bc i'd rather not make them a single fucking cent if i can avoid it.#and like this is fucking every goddamn day at this point#like i have become so hard to force into a pipeline that it's trying fucking everything and i'm so proud of myself for that but—#it's exhausting to fight the algorithm this much.#truly i'm just exhausted.#image id in alt text#also that tweet is so fucking stupid lmao. you know what else progresses? time. history.#like it's genuinely so stupid it's not even worth engaging with it. it's for right-wingers who cackle at bad facebook 'memes'#it's for people who don't like to think.#why would you try to make a space on youtube as a commentary channel when you want to encourage behaviors that discourage thinking#like ik it's a recruitment tactic or whatever but i'm just so fucking tired of it
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Testing a new theme
#i spend nearly an hour#hard to choose only one pfp#and the colors#drove me crazy#i'm sure i'm gonna change again in a few days LMAO#i love every single Jaymz pic i have in my collection#but this one shows perfectly everything we love about him#current james
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Oh, to be "Mr Manchester" who just used to casually run into James Maxwell "most evenings" in 1986. (Courtesy of the British Newspaper Archive & the Manchester Evening News).
"Whom do I see strolling through Manchester late on most evenings but James Maxwell, actor and artistic director, whose craggy features are well-known through countless film, television and stage roles.
"I walk home from work at the Royal Exchange Theatre to my urban paradise," he explains, "paradise" being a flat above the Arndale Centre.
"I love it," he says, "but no one living there can be accused of having a morbid interest in old architecture."
One of his many showbiz tales is of when he was in a show at Manchester Opera House in 1953. The scenery didn't work - in fact, some of it fell down - and the distinguished knight playing the lead not only didn't know his lines; at times he didn't know when he had to speak.
The audience was cool, to say the least, and at the end the knight decided he should speak to them.
"I apologise for the mistakes duing the evening," he announced grandly, "but I assure you that everything will be put right by the time we open in London."
& Mr Manchester, at the G-Mex, "jokingly suggested this wasn't [James Maxwell's] kind of theatre.
His instant retaliation would have gladdened G-Mex boss Tony Harrison, sitting along my row. "No, It's everyone's theatre," he retorted.
#james maxwell#interview#quotes#1980s#theatre#royal exchange theatre#manchester evening news#mr manchester#who led a far more exciting life than i (not hard)#(the bna have put some 1970s & 80s Manchester Evening Newses on & the result even on a brief browse through was a Maxwell goldmine.)#(the best days have JM in them. i suppose mr manchester & i might possibly agree there ;-p)#also hello yet another pic of jm irl#i may have as many as six now wooo#also what show?#he was in kiss me kate for most of 1953 and he was the lead in that...
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