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Bob Floyd masterlist

*All of my fics are 18+. Please do not repost my work without consent or steal my work. Reblogs and comments give me life so please do interact if you'd like!

✤: Fluff

❂: Angst

❀: Smut

Series

❀❂✤ Friends Don't — Bob x OC [Reid Coleman] – Complete

Bob has been your best friend for almost a decade, ever since he quietly volunteered to tutor you in college. The two of you have spent years chasing each other around the globe – Bob as a WSO, you as a travel blogger. You’ve always been the anywhere-but-here girl, and he’s been your rock. But when a surprise diagnosis threatens to crumble your picture-perfect life, you’re on the first flight back to San Diego, desperate to put down roots for the first time. Will Bob finally have it in him to admit that you could be the love of his life? What will he say when he finds out the secret you’ve been skillfully hiding from him? Or worse, what if he doesn’t find out until it’s too late?

❀❂✤ Golden Hour — Bob x Bradley x OC [Dr. Olive James]

Willow, Georgia. Barely even a town, just a speck on a map that you tried to wipe off, mistaking it for a crumb. You’re the outsider: a fancy New York doctor, fresh out of a failed engagement, with zero primary care experience. You’re also the new town doctor, taking over for a recent retiree who was beloved. His son, Bob Floyd, is the other physician at the practice, and takes an immediate dislike to you. But you were looking for a fresh start, and Willow doesn’t seem all that bad if you can get past the fact that there's only one restaurant in town. It helps that you've caught the eye of Bradley Bradshaw, the town attorney, despite the fact that you vowed to take a break from dating. How long until you start to make friends in a town where social circles have been set in stone since elementary school? And what will it take to make Bob Floyd see you’re not as bad as he wants to believe you are?

❀❂✤ The Back Seater and the Baker — Bob x OC [Haley Nichols]

Bob hasn't seen Haley Nichols since he was fifteen. But when Haley shows up out of the blue with one sentence that throws Bob for a loop – "I'm turning thirty in two weeks, are we still on?" – all of the feelings from their childhood return. Bob never thought that Haley would remember the marriage pact the two made when they were just kids, even if he never forgot. So what happens when Bob falls all over again for his childhood crush? And what will Bob do when he discovers the real reason she came back to capitalize on the pact is to secure her inheritance and save her bakery from bankruptcy? Will he believe Haley when she confesses that she loves him, too?

One shots

✤ One Night — Bob x Reader – Complete

You have your eyes on Bob at the Hard Deck, but have to shoot down Jake Seresin first.

✤ Gas Station Tears — Bob x Reader – Complete

After your boyfriend dumps you, your car stalls out in a gas station parking lot. Luckily, Bob Floyd happens to be there to fix your car. Can he fix your heart, too?

❂✤ It Was Never Him — Bob x Reader – Complete

You catch your boyfriend Rooster making out with a girl at the Hard Deck and only one person can comfort you in the aftermath: Bob Floyd. 

❂ What Are You Thinking? — Bob x Reader – Complete

Bob Floyd is a quiet man. Sometimes you have to ask him what he’s thinking just to know what wheels are turning inside of his head. He always gives you a response, until one day, years into your marriage, he turns the question on you. 

❀ When I'm Done With You — Bob x Reader – Complete

At a fraternity mixer, you lose your (admittedly shitty) boyfriend in the crowd. That’s when Bob Floyd, president of Alpha Tau and your boyfriend’s personal nemesis, finds you and decides to make you his. 

❀ She Calls Him Daddy – Bob x Reader – Complete

Coming home from college for winter break, the last thing you expected was to run into your best friend’s father while out shopping for new lingerie to surprise your fuck buddy with. You had always tried to hide your attraction for Mr. Floyd because he was Anna’s father. But all rules are thrown out when Bob invites you over on Christmas Eve while Anna is at her mother’s house. You’ll never be able to look at your friend’s dad the same way ever again.

✤ More Than Enough — Bob x Reader – Complete

The first two times Bob Floyd ends up in your emergency room he’s a mess. You never expected him to return a third time. But when he does, it changes everything.

Star Trektrospective :Star Trek The Search For Spock

I am reviewing all the Star Trek movies,and we are onto the third film Star Trek III the Search for Spock,which I find very underrated

Plot :Spock (Leonard Nimoy ) has given his Katra (Basically his soul ) to Mccoy (DeForest Kelley) ,and according to his father Sarek (Mark Lenard ) it must be reunited with his body which resides on Genesis .So must Kirk (William Shatner ) break Star Fleet regulations ,return to Genesis ,and face a group of Klingons lead by Kruge (Christopher Lloyd) all for the possibility of saving his friend

So there is a phrase regarding Trek that I dont agree with "EVen films are good ,odds are bad ".....Which I really disagree with cause..3 isnt bad at all ....Its just not as good as 2

I think if 3 has two things going against it : One is that it doesnt feel like a movie,in which I mean it feels like a TV episode.I think the main thing is it lacks a dramatic core ,like dramtic things happen,but the goal is soley "Continue from where the last film left off " and admittedly,while I like the villain ,hes has a villain of the week flavor

The other problem is a more major one:It undoes the second movie .The second movie gave a lot of interesting things:A new planet, the revelation Kirk has a son , and the death of a beloved character .....This film undoes all of that .Now thankfully other films build onto these changes but it is mildly disappointing

That said if it is a TV episode....Its an enjoyable one . Leonard Nimoy directs this one and he emphasizes the sense of fun .We have some great jokes ,a starship heist and a fun pulpy fight scene between Kirk and our Klingon baddie on an exploding planet

Kruge is a really enjoyable bad guy,helped by being played by the marvelous Christopher Lloyd ,who while still being a vicious evil doer , nails the subtleties of the character,the sense of honor and that at his core he's just afraid of the Federation conquering his people

Other then Kruge ,I dont have much to say about new characters:Robert Hooks is a good foil for Kirk as Admiral Morrow, and we have small roles by Miguel Ferrar and John Larroquette .The most surprising role is legendary actress Dame Judith Anderson asT'lar a vulcan priestess ,who lends a sense of gravitas to a small role

Robin Curtis replaces Kirstie Allie as Saavik and I think she does a great job .Mark Lenard reprises his role as Sarek ,Spock's father from the TV series ,and he gives a wonderful performance and has a sweet line near the end of the film .Poor Merritt Butrick doesnt have a lot to do in the film as Kirks son David ,and I feel the film wastes the potential for his character

This film does mark the first time in three films that all the original cast get to show off ,George Tekai,James Doohan and Nichelle Nichols in particular get some memorable scenes .I also find it sweet that the crew are all on board with the idea of going against Starfleet for the sake of saving their friend

This is a good showcase of Shatner .Again I love that his entire motivation is just "Help my friend,costs be damned " .The boldest acting choice is when Shatners realizes the Klingons have killed someone ,and theoretically it could be seen as hammy,if not for a happy accident of Shatner falling back and missing the chair which transforms the scene into heartbreaking

The best performance has to go to Deforest Kelley as Bones ,who basically has to play both Bones,and in a way,Spock in Bones's head.He gets some great dramatic bits and some wonderful comedic scenes the best being "That green blooded son of a bitch! This is his revenge for all those arguements I won !"

Also I will admit there is one moment in this film shared between Kirk and Mccoy that is simultaniously badass but heart breaking .It involves a trap for the Klingons and it is a powerful scene

Overall while I think it is inherently flawed.....I still have a lot of fun watching this movie ,its a enjoyable adventure

@ariel-seagull-wings @metropolitan-mutant-of-ark

if i can’t have you.

20 day song imagines masterlist | main masterlist

pairing: bucky barnes x 40’s!reader

pronouns: she/her

genre: angst, some fluff

warning: one curse word and mentions of death.

word count: 1.7k

synopsis: bucky spends years tracking down a necklace from a past lover that he just can't stop thinking about but ended up finding something even better.

this means flashbacks

The first time Bucky remembered y/n was after his first fight with Steve, Sam, and Natasha. He was so confused that Steve knew him and all the memories from his past life were slowly flowing back.

"James! Don't throw that at me!" y/n laughed running from him.

they were having a water-balloon fight. It was a sunny afternoon in Brooklyn and they were quick to take advantage of the sunny weather.

"Doll i'm not going to throw it. Just come over here it'll be okay." Bucky bit his lip in anticipation.

Y/n slowly stepped towards Bucky but ran once she heard someone cough in the bush next to her.

"Dammit Steve!"

"I'm sorry I was trying to hold it in." Steve laughed.

Y/n. Who was y/n? And who was this Steve guy? Bucky's context clues led him to believe that y/n might've been a lover of his, hence the pet name "doll."

Bucky didn't have much time until he was back at the Hydra building so he quickly picked up random litter from the street and sought out to find a pen. Once he found it, he wrote the name y/n on it.

Once he arrived to the front building of Hydra he tucked the paper away from anyones view to come back for it.

He was back from his mission and hydra knew right away that something wasn't right. They wiped is memory and everything he remembered was gone. Kind of.

The next couple of weeks Bucky had remembered nothing of his past life, including where he hid the paper, and was doing missions for his "boss." This time, he just so happened to find Steve, again.

Combinations of Steve repeatedly calling The Winter Soldiers name, Bucky, and just seeing him caused him to pause. A memory was coming back to him. He tried to fight it, even after focusing on Steve and what his leaders told him to do. But even after saving Steve, he couldn't fight off the feelings he was getting from being near the super soldier.

"James. Please be careful." Y/n cried into his neck.

She just got the news that he's going on a mission with Steve. She always feared what would happen when he joined the military. She already had faced almost losing him to the nazi's. What if something even worse happens?

"Doll. You know I will." he replied, pulling back to look at her teary eyed face.

"Still, things happen." she shrugged.

Bucky stood up from the bed getting his thing's together. He knew it was dangerous, but he had to do it. She knew that.

"Wait James." Y/n called as he was about to leave, "Take this." She handed him a necklace.

Bucky looked at the silver necklace, examining the picture of her on it, "What's this for?"

"So you don't forget me." She sniffed.

"You keep it here with you." He said softly.

"Why?"

So you can give it to me when I come back." He kissed her lips, leaving her with the last I love you she'll ever hear from him.

Bucky jolted awake from his sleep wiping his eyes and got up from his metal bed. Bucky suddenly started to question hydra like he hasn't before. He began to question who he even was.

He needed to find that necklace. But where could it be? Did she even keep it?

Over the course of two years, Bucky finally started to get his memory back. He was united with Steve in weird circumstances but he was just glad to have his best friend next to him. Even though he had his memory, he still hadn't found the necklace. He spent two years looking everywhere for it and never even got a hit on it until a couple nights ago. He kept having flashbacks to a specific place.

"You sure know how to make a girl love huh?" Y/n asked, arms around Bucky's neck.

"Maybe." He mumbled then softly placed his lips on her's.

They were at the y/n's favorite bar dancing to a song that came on in the jukebox. Paper Doll.

Bucky quickly learned that song is the reason he called his beloved y/n doll.

"What you thinking in the pretty head of yours?" Bucky questioned.

Y/n sighed, "Just about how amazing you are."

"You want to go to the bar. Don't you?"

"Yes!" She yelled as she shot up from the bed to get ready.

The bar. But what was it called?

Bucky had a long day. All he wanted to do was cuddle up with y/n but when he entered there shared apartment, she wasn't there. She was always there, especially at this time of the night.

He didn't want to panic though. He knew she had to be somewhere so he looked around the building then proceeded to drive to her family owned bar. Y/L/N

He quickly drove to the bar, opening the door to it, seeing y/n. "Doll." Bucky called.

"Hi James." Y/n greeted.

"Why aren't you at home?"

"I just wanted to be out." Y/n answered truthfully.

Bucky nodded sitting next to her ordering a drink. She always made his day better.

Finally! He had a name to the bar, but where was it?

Bucky decided to ask Steve. Surely y/n and Steve were in contact after his "passing." Maybe he knows about the necklace.

"Hey Steve. You remember y/n?" Bucky asked

"Of course I do Buck. You thinking about her."

"Yeah I um- I remember she had a family bar it was named-"

"Y/L/N" Steve interrupted.

"You remember it?" Bucky's eyes lit up.

Steve nodded smiling, happy his friend was remembering something important.

"Can you maybe tell me where it's at?"

"You looking for the necklace?" Steve asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Bucky said yes then followed Steve all the way down the street. A big sign reading, "Y/L/N" was hanging overhead. "Here you are."

How did he miss this?

Bucky thanked Steve with a handshake and walked his way into the bar. It looked the same, only more modern. The jukebox was still there but the interior was more relaxed and comfortable.

The bell rang as he entered causing people to look at him. Most reverted their attention back to there food as he walked to the ordering counter, but a a lady in the back kitchen, who couldn't be older than 30, continued to stare at him.

"You here for food or drinks?" The person at the ordering counter asked.

Bucky opened his mouth to speak but one of the people from the back intervened. "Tilla come back here for a second."

Tilla, the person at the counter, went to the back and talked to the lady who called them. Tilla's eyes widened then turned their head looked at Bucky.

What is going on?

The lady from the kitchen came up to the counter, "You James Barnes?" She asked.

"How'd you know?" He questioned.

"I'm Nichole, y/n's niece." She reached her hand out to greet him.

He accepted the handshake but was still confused. How did she know what he looked like. Surely y/n couldn't have told her?

"I'm guessing you're looking for y/n?"

"Well-"

"You're two years late." She told him, "She passed away."

Bucky's whole body froze.

Nichole looked up at him, seeing his state. "Let me take you to lunch. I'll tell you everything." She grabbed her bag and led him somewhere to eat.

-

"Did she- did she ever talk about me?" Bucky asked nervously. He just wanted to know. Not wanted, needed to know.

"All the time."

"Really?" He smiled.

"Yeah. She used to play that paper doll song all the time!" She laughed, "I remember just begging her to stop showing pictures of you but I guess it helped me figure out who you are."

"How'd you know I was alive?"

"Steve told me."

Huh? Steve knew y/n had family so close and never told him? But then Bucky remembered, he knew about the necklace. He knew about the bar. Why did he never tell him?

"He wanted you to remember it."

Bucky was snapped from his thoughts, "What?"

"Steve. He wanted you to remember her not because he told you, but because you genuinely remembered." Nichole reached into her bag, grabbing a crumbly envelope.

"Here." She handed him the paper. "Her death wish was for you to read this note. She wrote it for you but knew Steve was alive and made me promise to give it to him. But since you're alive and breathing, I'm giving it to you."

Bucky softly grabbed the envelope from the young girls hand, opening it.

Y/n was so hurt. So hurt from the news of Bucky's passing. She couldn't move on so she decided to make a letter. A letter that she only could hope that would be opened by Bucky.

Dear my beloved James,

I am writing this letter in hopes of you coming back home one day. Everyone says you have passed. They tell me to move on but I can not. I can not move on from you. You are the man I dream about in the night time. Steve says he did everything he could. I believe him. I truly miss you. You are the love of my life and if I could just hear you call me doll one more time, I would finally be at rest. I remember us talking about baby names. I remember all the times you came to my work just to tell me a new name you came up with. Sadly I will not have any babies. I refuse to even lay with another person. I refuse. I hope to one day have a niece. Maybe I can convince my family to name them Nichole or Harvey. If only. I miss you. Everything in my life seems sore without your touch. Everything means nothing without you. Everything means nothing if I can't have you.

your doll, y/n.

She sealed it in a pink envelope and tucked it away.

ps, i slipped the picture of me in your pocket.

-

idk why but I started tearing up at the end lol. i can just imagine the pain people feel when there s/o passes away :/

- kimberly

I am soooo excited to share my epic Bethyl playlist with you! I have named it “Big Bethyl MOOD”:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1dSgNYDMqwSWEphWjSncRc?si=iSZ-IPNZSWaLwXrMgLF-BA&dl_branch=1

The songs on this list were chosen via many sources. I obviously included the two songs by Emily Kinney—the cover song she sangam Beth Greene in “Alone”—“Be Good” by Waxahatchee—for Norman Reedus as Daryl Dixon, the one she wrote and sang—“Last Chance”—which was on her 3rd album—Expired Love—that she said has Beth and Daryl vibes. Other obvious choices was the song played at the end of “Still” while Daryl and Beth burned down the moonshine shack—“Up the Wolves” by the Mountain Goats—and the two songs that Norman has essentially said give him his own Bethyl feels—“Very Nervous and Love” by J Mascis and “Drowning Man” by U2. The rest of them are songs I have personally selected that put me in a big Bethyl mood, songs that other Bethyl shippers have suggested for me to make song lyric photo edits for, songs from the huge plethora of Bethyl music video tributes on YouTube, as well as from other Bethylers’ playlists that are inspired by this beloved pairing. 🐞💘💘🐍

For those of you who don’t have a Spotify account, below is the full list... just in case you would like to build your own playlist on a different listening/streaming music platform that you prefer.👇😁

Enjoy! ❤️

1.)“Be Good”- Emily Kinney

2.) “Up the Wolves” - The Mountain Goats

3.) “Very Nervous and Love” - J Mascis

4.) “Saturn” - Sleeping At Last

5.) “She is the Sunlight” - Trading Yesterday

6.) “Wings” - Birdy

7.) “Look After You” - The Fray

8.) “Secret” - Angel Snow

9.) “lovely” - Billie Eilish with Khalid

10.) “Off I Go” - Greg Laswell

11.) “Asleep” - Emily Browning

12.) “Echo” - Jason Walker

13.) “Harbor” - Vienna Teng

14.) “Every Mile Mattered” - Nichole Nordeman

15.) “To Tundra” - Los Campesinos!

16.) “To Build a Home” - Cinematic Orchestra

17.) “Breathe Me” - Sia

18.) “Iris” - The Goo Goo Dolls

19.) “Halo” - Beyoncé

20.) “Everything” - Lifehouse

21.) “Fire and Ice” - Within Temptation

22.) “Pieces” - Red

23.) “Shattered and Hollow” - First Aid Kit

24.) “Still” - Daughter

25.) “All I Want” - Kodaline

26.) “Beautiful Girl” - Broken Iris

27.) “Wonderful Unknown” - Ingrid Michaelson + Greg Laswell

28.) “Ride” - Lana Del Rey

29.) “Chasing Cars” - Snow Patrol

30.) “Take Me Home” - Jess Glynne

31.) “Not About Angels” - Birdy

32.) “The Devil’s Tears’ - Angus & Julia Stone

33.) “Walk Through the Fire” - Zayde Wølf, Ruelle

34.) “Arrival of the Birds” - The Cinematic Orchestra, London Metropolitan Orchestra

35.) “Love, Reign O’er Me” - Pearl Jam

36.) “Hurricane” - Thirty Seconds to Mars

37.) “Between” - Courrier

38.) “Change (In the House of Flies)” - Deftones

39.) “Battle Cry” - Kyler England

40.) “Light” - Sleeping At Last

41.) “I See the Light” (from Disney’s ‘Tangled’/Soundtrack Version) - Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi

42.) “The Book of Love” - Peter Gabriel

43.) “Not Alone” - Red

44.) “‘Dead Island’ Trailer Theme” (featuring Mairi Campbell, Peter Nicholson & Guido De Groot)

45.) “Falling Slowly” - Glen Hansard, Markéta Irglová

46.) “Hold On” - Tom Waits

47.) “Everywhere I Go” - Lissie

48.) “Heartbeat” - The Fray

49.) “Bloodstream” - Stateless

50.) “Remembrance” - Balmorhea

51.) “Gorecki” - Lamb

52.) “A Sky Full of Stars” - Coldplay

53.) “Slide Away” - Oasis

54.) “Alone in This Bed (Capeside)” - Framing Hanley

55.) “Whispers” - Avalanche City

56.) “Heaven” - Beyoncé

57.) “I Will Follow You into the Dark” - Death Cab for Cutie

58.) “Eyes Wide Open” - Beth Crowley

59.) “Everlong” (Acoustic Version) - Foo Fighters

60.) “Everloving” - Moby

61.) “Stay” - Rihanna, Mikky Ekko

62.) “I’ll Be Good” - Jaymes Young

63.) “And I Love Her” - Passenger

64.) “Medicine” - Daughter

65.) “Strange Birds” - Birdy

66.) “Shattered” - Trading Yesterday

67.) “Warrior” - Beth Crowley

68.) “Wicked Game” (Live) - James Vincent McMorrow

69.) “Kiss Quick” - Matt Nathanson

70.) “Skinny Love” - Bon Iver

71.) “Sky’s Still Blue” - Andrew Belle

72.) “The Funeral” - Band of Horses

73.) “Hymn for the Missing” - Red

74.) “The Night We Met” - Lord Huron

75.) “The Mighty Rio Grande” - This Will Destroy You

76.) “Brighter Than Sunshine” - Aqualung

77.) “Such Great Heights” - Iron & Wine

78.) “Brave” - Nichole Nordeman

79.) “Demons” (Acoustic - Live in London) - Imagine Dragons

80.) “You & I” - One Direction

81.) “All I Know” - Beth Crowley

82.) “Gravity” - Vienna Teng

83.) “Colour Me In” - Damien Rice

84.) “Work Song” - Hozier

85.) “Opposite” - David O’Dowda

86.) “A Rush of Blood to the Head” - Coldplay

87.) “Skin and Bones” - Beth Crowley

88.) “Sound of Surviving” - Nichole Nordeman

89.) “You” - Keaton Henson

90.) “A Thousand Years” - Christina Perri

91.) “Time” - Mikky Ekko

92.) “Last Chance” - Emily Kinney

93.) “Drowning Man” - U2

James Nicholls gives reader (James locked her in the room) a Christmas present with a cute smile. She doesn't want his gift. James is hurt and tells her that she will be trapped in this room until she is thankful for his present.

Trigger Warning: obsession, yandere, forced.

Word Count: 2098

Character: James Nicholls/reader

Summary: James just wanted to give you a Christmas present, not expecting you to dislike it at all.

POV James

"This is going to be a great night," James thought. He was smiling. Today is definitely going to be a great day. A day that will have to do without any problems and quarrels.

Nicholls, being a rather emotional person, always succumbed to any quarrels. But to the extent of his character, he could also be in the first moments a person who would respond to any tense situation with a cold eye.

He always kept his worldview to himself. In a war in which he killed and the horrors of which he could not forget for many months, no one was interested in the opinion of the people. They said to do, so do it. You're a soldier. Follow the order.

In the regiment, he was not allowed to reveal himself as a person. No one but Major Stewart, his friend, who was practically everything to him, knew of his hobbies. That his talent and desires were directed not to war, but to art.

He was always very pleased and flattered by the paintings that great artists created. Their styles, unusual techniques.

However, James was always interested in one question: where do people involved in great art find the personal muses that inspire them? He always wanted to find the person who would inspire him and whom he might even love and cherish.

But the memories of the war all dampened his mood. They were like something that was unlikely to ever be forgotten or should be forgotten.

James closed his eyes. Fragments of memories flew before my eyes. Mud. Wounds. People. Death.

That wasn't what he wanted. That's not why he went to school and got the necessary knowledge. Not to die so easily. Yes, he could have shed blood for his country, but he didn't want to.

He thought this was the end. I thought about it until I saw a nice girl. You. You were so beautiful in his mind. He could do anything for you. You were his main manipulator, his life. He would cherish you for the rest of your life if you would only listen to him and agree to marry him.

But you were too innocent. Your fighting spirit and your moral values that all people are equal have always interested him. This is extremely interesting.

James greatly admired your clear, virginal mind, your kind and pure heart. He liked to compare you to literary heroines. He loved to read and his favorite character was Anna Karenina from the Russian novel by Leo Tolstoy. He often said that their characters were eerily similar.

The ex-soldier never thought about the fact that he wanted to become someone exalted or famous. His spirit was subject to the spirit of calm and evenly defined actions. Maybe after the war, he could work as an artist and sell paintings, or maybe work part-time at a police station. He would have a happy wife and some cute kids who would cheer him back from work.

Oh, he wanted that wish to come true. After the war, he really had a good job, but a wife... Well, as he understood it, she had no particular prospects of becoming his lover.

And that disappointed him. That girl, you, that he's in love with, doesn't love him? But why? You've spent so much time together. Or so it seemed to James. He didn't want to admit that you and he only saw each other twice.

He sighed and turned his gaze to the brown door he had been hovering in front of for some time. James has prepared a great gift for his beloved. She would have to like him.

Nicholls believed that most women were addicted to gifts. And this is quite natural. And before this gift, it is unlikely that anyone can resist.

He pressed the round handle and opened the door with a slight tremor in his legs. This day should be perfect. He smiled at the thought of how happy you'd be with your new Christmas present. A new book of Shakespeare's plays, along with a small pendant that had his picture and yours on it.

He looked around the room. She was just beautiful. This was exactly what he had imagined the room in which he would sleep with his beloved wife.

The walls were sky blue with small patterns. They went well with the gilded furniture he had purchased not so long ago on a former soldier's salary. The room was decorated in pastel colors. The main decoration of the walls were small, almost imperceptible paintings. They weren't distracted. On the white ceiling hung a small lamp that fit into the interior.

Next to the wall opposite James's standing, there was a bookcase filled with a huge number of books, both English classicism and Russian. You could even find American literature on the shelves.

Right in front of the door was the double bed on which his wife was so beautifully arranged.

He sighed slightly, trying not to draw your attention too much and giving you time to finish reading the page. You were so beautiful in that position. And this outfit! He was so pleasing to the soldier's keen eye. Your dress was simply impossibly simple, but no less beautiful. It was summer. The blue fabric that hugged your waist matched nicely with the lacy white sleeves that reached to your elbow.

He bit his lip, trying to stifle the groan he was trying to get out. You gave him an orgasm just by being there.

James was still a virgin. He promised that he would keep it and lose it only with his legal wife, who according to his criteria should also be clean. He didn't really like the fact that the boys from the academy and even Stuart were teasing him about it, but he understood that he didn't need to be provoked and just follow his principles.

He wanted so much to come up to you and interrupt you, to tell you that he was the only one you could pay attention to, but he knew that would be disrespectful to you. He wanted so much to fix that hair that was so carefully climbing on a clean forehead, or to kiss those lovely lips that you were so diligently licking.

***

He thought he had lost all hope. That he was the only survivor of his own regiment and Stewart's. Wounded, in ragged clothes, covered in blood, he walked, trying to reach some settlement.

He crawled, one less injured hand clinging to the muddy and wet grass. His entire uniform was covered in the mud and blood of his countrymen who had fought so desperately for their homeland and for its victory.

The man knew that his strength was running out. He had been crawling like this for a kilometer. His breathing was getting worse. My arm and legs were beginning to prick painfully. The right hand was in need of urgent assistance. He needed to get to the nearest house.

His only thought now was to take a single sip of water. My throat was uncomfortably sore. He hadn't eaten or drunk in about a day since they'd started attacking the Germans.

When he reached the nearest big oak, he leaned against it and put his aching hand on his legs, leaning his head back against the tree, which hurt his head unpleasantly.

He didn't remember how he'd blacked out or what. His forces simply surrendered the position. It was at that moment that he realized that it was not so terrible to die. It's just close your eyes and that's it. He would see his soldiers soon.

But still, he regretted that he could not realize his dream and become a famous artist, find a family by marrying the woman he loved, raise children and die happy in a house full of grandchildren.

War is a tough thing. Sometimes he didn't understand why his homeland had to fight the Germans. Why him? But they were not particularly opposed to the fact that the boy from whom he bought a horse, entered the ranks of the soldiers.

"Mister, wake up. Please, mister, don't die," came a soft and soft voice, with a rough edge to it. The man slightly, through force, opened one eye and looked at the girl sitting in front of him. At you.

Standing before him was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. A girl who looked like an angel. You were incredible. His artist's eye certainly wanted to express you on paper. Your expressively large eyes looked at him with universal tenderness. Your lips were slightly parted and your brows were furrowed.

He felt an extraordinary reaction. The fear, the exultation, the need and admiration? He found you extraordinarily beautiful.

Suddenly, an insignificant thought occurred to his bright head. He felt, heard, felt pain. Is he alive? Or is it just paradise? Paradise with its sweet angel.

The man's thin, pink-pale lips parted slightly and he tried to squeeze out something, but only a soft sigh came out.

He saw his angel flutter. As he opened his eyes. He saw you get up and start looking for something. He owl tried to speak, but could only utter a groan.

"Drink some water, sir," he parted his angel's lips and allowed her to pour him clear and silver water. "Are you feeling better?" he tried to nod. His angel, his savior, smiled at him and he whispered:

"I'm James, my angel."

***

POV You

You saw the way he looked at you. So gentle, so obsessive, so needy. His blue eyes looked at you as if they were seeing you for the first and last time. They studied you.

You shifted involuntarily on the fur-warm bed. Not that you liked the interior of the house, or rather you found it terrible. The walls were blue, battered, and obviously old. But at least the books made you happy. They were really wonderful. But the interior was the last thing that bothered you.

Most of all, it was hard for you to think that this innocent, beautiful man with such charming eyes had become obsessed with you. He believed that you were in love with him, that you were happy to be his wife.

But apparently James didn't understand your rejection. In your opinion, he didn't accept rejection at all, but he followed orders, so he could easily be manipulated. Especially now. But your desire to be free and live with the person you love was simply impossible. He responded to such statements and requests of yours with a strict no, from which your body shivered.

You didn't know how to justify his need for you. Perhaps because you were his hope, the only person who saved him from torment and impending death. But that's all the excuses you've found.

You knew he was waiting for the moment to give you a Christmas present. You saw that distant look he gave you when he remembered something. Most likely, their first meeting.

You coughed, trying to get his attention. He flinched and looked up from the polished floor to look at you. You swallowed and put away the book you'd been reading.

Nicholls moved closer to the bed you were sitting on. You saw his shifty eyes and his bitten lip.

"My angel," he walked closer and sat on the edge of the made-up bed, taking your right hand in his. He ran his thumb over it and squeezed it lightly, looking up. "Merry Christmas," he held up his left hand and you saw a small box. He pursed his lips and handed it to you. You saw him smile. Maybe he thought you were happy with his gift, but you didn't really want to accept it, knowing how it could turn out.

You shook your head a little doubtfully, lowering your chin slightly. You didn't want to upset him, but you knew you couldn't accept a gift from a kidnapper.

Suddenly, the man's back straightened. The gentle gaze turned frowning. The hand clutched the unfortunate Christmas present. His knuckles were white, and the veins in his neck throbbed.

"I don't need your gift, James," her gaze became more intense. He stood up and straightened his shirt, placing a small box on the bedside table.

Taking a deep breath, he turned and headed for the exit. You raised your head, sending a puzzled look at his back. He turned to face you, holding the door open and leaning against the door frame.

"My angel, why are you looking at me like that? You just have to understand that you will stay in our room until you thank me with sincere gratitude for your gift, " he sent you a smile and closed the door. You've heard the deadbolt locked with a key. "I hope you've prepared a gift for me."

September 27, 1869:

James Butler Hickok (May 27, 1837- Aug 2, 1876), widely known as the infamous "Wild Bill" of the Old American West, and sheriff of Ellis County, Kansas, responded to a call around 1 a.m. about a band of drunken troublemakers causing a scene at John Bitters' Beer Saloon. These disorderly teamsters, one by the name of Samuel Strawhum, strolled into the saloon that evening exhibiting an acceptable degree of intoxication, as far as Wild West standards are concerned. However, around midnight, the group became violent and destructive. A brawl ensued, and Strawhum and the fellow mischief-makers began smashing chairs, throwing tables, and destroying property. When Wild Bill and his deputy, "Rattlesnake Pete" Lanihan (gotta love Wild West nicknames), arrived to restore order and deal with the rowdy teamsters, Sheriff Hickok asked the not-so-gentle gentlemen to hand over their weapons. Strawhum laughed and drew his firearm, anyway. Acting instantly, Wild Bill shot Strawhum in the head - killing him instantly.

In the 1800s, Hays City operated as a freight and cattle center, but like many Old West towns, gambling was Hays' biggest industry. Hays attracted drifters, soldiers, hunters, cattlemen, and the general riffraff one would expect to find in a town many called "the deadliest place in the West." The people elected the already famous "Wild Bill" as Sheriff of Ellis County on August 23, 1869 for his reputation as a Civil War hero and expert gunfighter. Being quite rough and tumble himself, Hickok seemed fit to lay down the law in a city besieged by drunken violence and petty crime. Hickok was quick to assert his authority as sheriff of Ellis County, and within the first five weeks, he had already killed two men. Despite impressive reputation, residents felt uneasy about his violent and impulsive methods. In just three months, Wild Bill lost re-election to his deputy, Rattlesnake Pete.

However, Wild Bill's brief time as Ellis County Sheriff represents just a blip in his relatively short, but legendary life. Acquainted with such Wild West characters such as Buffalo Bill Cody and Calamity Jane, Hickok holds a distinguished position among American folk heroes. As a lawman, heavy gambler, soldier, actor, scout, and ladies man, Wild Bill was a real Wild West renaissance man. Originally from northern Illinois, Wild Bill traveled throughout the West, making a mark on local legend and local history seemingly every where he went. Like with many infamous characters of the Old West, many of these stories seem too outlandish and exaggerated to be real. Yet, writings from friends and family reveal that he was well-liked by many - and that there is at least some truth to many of these stories.

Libbie Custer, wife of Brevet Major General George Armstrong Custer, described Hickok's appearance in a way that may have left Mr. Custer feeling a bit uncomfortable. After all, there were rumors of an affair. She described Hickok lovingly: "Physically, he was a delight to look upon. Tall, lithe...he rode as if every muscle was perfection...I do not recall anything finer in the way of physical perfection than Wild Bill when he swung himself lightly from his saddle." Libbie wasn't the only one to comment on his striking appearance. He's described as tall and having piercing gray eyes,and long blondish hair that swept past his broad shoulders. A bartender at Carl Mann's Saloon in Deadwood, Dakota Territory stated that, "A more picturesque sight than Hickok on horseback could not be imagined."

Despite his good looks, and despite his sometimes questionable reputation as a gambler and zealous gunfighter, Hickok became highly regarded for this actions during the Civil War. It is generally believed that this is where James Butler Hickok became Wild Bill Hickok, although the reasons why are not known  for certain. During the war, Hickok acted as a spy and detective, and proved to be an expert marksman. Prior to the Civil War, he also worked at a station on the Underground Railroad, helping enslaved men and women make their way to freedom.

However, perhaps what Wild Bill is most well-known for is his duel with Davis Tutt in July of 1865. The duel took place in Springfield, MO and was fought over the same reasons many saloon brawls and duels were fought over in the Wild West: gambling debts and women. Wild Bill lost a gold watch of sentimental value to Tutt in a game of poker, and while Wild Bill accepted defeat somewhat gracefully - asking Tutt at least not to wear it around him - Wild Bill became furious when he saw Tutt wearing it, flashing it about.

What happened next is what many say is the first recorded quick-draw duel in Wild West history. Hickok, standing seventy-five yards away from Tutt, squared his broad shoulders and set those piercing grey eyes on Tutt. From such a distance, Hickok was able to shoot Tutt through the heart. Tutt's bullet missed Hickok entirely. According to the story, Tutt's last words were: "Boys, I'm killed."

It is from this point on where Hickok's celebrity takes off. Journalist George Ward Nichols published an interview in Harper's New Monthly Magazine that tantalized readers with stories of "Wild Bill" and his impressive gunfighting skills. In the interview, Hickok claimed to have killed hundreds in gunfights. However, the leading historian on Wild Bill suggests a more likely claim, backed up by evidence, that Hickok only killed 6-8 people in gunfights. Hickok stood trial on August 3, 1865, but a jury ultimately acquitted, utilizing the unwritten "fair fight" law in his favor.

Hickok continued to use his celebrity to his advantage. He went on to be Deputy Marshal in Abilene, TX - which has earned him a spot on the Texas Trail of Fame. He even joined Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show for three months in 1873. But at 39, this rough and tumble renaissance man was starting to feel the weight of life in the fast lane. His eyes were deteriorating, making him useless as a marksman, and his gambling habits were about to catch up with him.

On August 2, 1876, the beloved celebrity, lawman, and Union veteran was shot in the head at point-blank range by Jack McCall while playing a game of poker. McCall lost severely to Hickok the day prior, and while Hickok offered to at least pay for the man's breakfast, McCall, not much more than a local bum, sought his revenge. Days before Hickok's death, he wrote to his wife, Agnes: "If such should be we never meet again, while firing my last shot, I will gently breathe the name of my wife - Agnes - and with wishes even for my enemies I will make the plunge and try to swim to the shore." The hand Hickok had before he was shot became known as the "dead man's hand:" two black aces and two eights. The fifth card, damaged by McCall's shot, is unknown.

Wild Bill embodied all that was holy (and perhaps unholy) about the Wild West. He was rugged Civil War veteran and aggressive lawman. He was a gambler and a perfect marksman, but he was also a lover and a doting husband. The Wild West still possesses an active part of the American imagination. It continues to inspire films, books, and television, and tantalizes us with stories, often fabricated and romanticized, of cowboys and natives on horseback, of rowdy saloons, and of the vigilantes and explorers who roamed the frontier.

If you're ever in Fort Worth, stop by the Texas Trail of Fame to check out Wild Bill's star, and remember the sheriff, marshal, soldier, scout, and husband who earned his place among the other American folk heroes of the Old West in more ways than one.

HI OMFG BIG FAN OMG i was wondering if you could post a book recommendation list?? i know you’ve read the night manager (which im planning to buy too now because im so whipped for tom) and idk i trust you on your taste musically so i think you also know lots about novels (and i really need i get back into reading omfg) IDK i wanted to give you a reason to post an actual list so it wont get lost in the chatroom and bcs your blog followers are probably interested too ANYWAY LOVE YOU 💕💕💕💕

This is probably a good place to pick up from post-hiatus. It’s been a while, I know, I’ll talk about it at the end of this. 

This list is by no means any kind of actual rating, this is just some of my all-time faves that I feel everyone should read at least at some point in their life 

Let’s start with the series:

- Harry Potter by JK Rowling –> this goes without saying, I literally grew up repeatedly reading these books

- The Maze Runner by James Dashner –> oh boy these are perfection and beyond. Honestly obsessed. If you want a teen dystopian novel with post-apocalyptic lord of the flies vibes, then you are in the right place. Also perf for ambiguous gay ships designed purely to rip your heart out 

- Percy Jackson and the Heroes of Olympus by Rick Riordan –> there are like 10 of these books in total and they be chunky, so if you want something to keep you quiet for a while then I highly recommend! Easy to read and have everything you could want from adventure books, including narration from an ADHD dyslexic teenage boy which makes everything so dam funny 

- Northern Lights by Phillip Paulman –> these are great for something a bit more sophisticated read, kind of complex but fascinating and a brilliant concept

 - The James Herriot books –> these might be a bit specific, but if you like animals you’ll probs enjoy them. James Herriot (pen name for Alf White) was an English Veterinary Surgeon in the 1930s, the books are anecdotal stories from his career and whilst some of them are *quite* out of date, they are heart-warming and brilliant 

And now for the individual novels:

- The Night Manager by John Le Carre –> I got into this because our beloved Tom Hiddleston was in the TV adaptation and honestly the book did not disappoint. Ngl it does help if you can picture Jonathan as Tom (hehe) but the whole novel is captivating if you can stomach slightly old hand and political writing 

- High Rise by J. G. Ballard –> oof this is a fun one! This book is my current read and again the film adaptation features our Tommy boy, which is delightfully helpful for the imagination. Imagine an adult version of lord of the flies and you’re on the right page for this 

- Lord of the Flies by William Golding –> and here we are. A widely studied novel but pls do not let you put this off, boys stranded on an island. Chaos is guaranteed and the themes are great. Probs one of my fave books of all time, and not just bc I ship Jalph. Also a nice narrative on human nature and who doesn’t love being called out?

- The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger –> this is a beautiful book with a mental health narrative. I can’t quite pinpoint the reason I love it so much, but it whacked me when I first read it and I’ve adored it ever since

- The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky –> kind of a modern-day Catcher in the Rye, again the focus is on mental health, love, loss, friendship and trauma. Am assuming most of you have seen the film, Charlie is a bean, you can’t help but love it

- The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness –> this is another one that I didn’t expect to love but did. Gay pining, characters in pain, all based in a town of superhuman kids at superhero high school. Can I get a yes, please?

- Starter for 10 by David Nicholls -> this book is very important to me because it just hit home wholly and completely. Based in 1985, it follows the story of Brian Jackson, a working class kid from Southend as he navigates his first year at university. It's funny and sweet and awkward but for me it encapsulated everything that I went through in my first year and for that it will always have a special place in my heart

That’s all I can think of atm but will add more as they come to mind!

Now, I should probably address the whole two-year absence. So, I did A-levels, and then I got a boyfriend who I spent far too much time and energy on to get treated the way I did, also had a lot of work to do with my horse coming back from an injury, then dumped said arsehole bf, went off to uni and got whacked in the face by a SHIT TON of work and I won’t lie to you guys, it was a lot harder than I expected. Also spent a lot of my downtime getting drunk because yanno, uni. Then got another boyfriend after several bad experiences and he’s very lovely. We have been together for just over a year, if you want an idea of what he’s like imagine Hugh Grant (big heart eyes). Then got (another) horse who is a total baby and needs so much work and she’s a bit of an asshole atm. Also my uni course means that my holidays are spent on placements (perks of being a vet student amirite) so I have barely even looked at my tumblr in this time gap. Anyway, now there is covid and I am back and bored. The plan is to take up writing again now that my exams are done and I have a little bit of free time so yes, all those requests I ignored will finally get done (if any of you are even here anymore, I hope you are) 

It’s nice to be back

A Broken Flower Still Smells Just as Sweet

I don’t own the photos >.<

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

A/N: This is my first try at a ff. I hope you enjoy it. WARNING it will have to do with drug addiction and drinking and some other rather hard to read issues. But there will be fluff in the later chapters. And I know it’ s not perfect but I tried lol.

Summary: Y/N, a beautiful yet bad girl, ended up where she never thought she would, in more ways than one. Ends up at two handsome boys hotel room and is faced with a serious question, the answer she gives could change her life.

You let your body move and bounce to the music as your inhabitants slowly left your body. You turn your head and slide your gaze to your best friend and partner in crime Nichole, who was grinding behind you, giving the crowd below you a good show. The Dj behind the large brown table littered with equipment and bottles of empty liquor shouted to the drunk crowd to "turn up" for this was the last song in his set. As the music died down, you turned to Nichole to kiss her, further exciting the whole club. The music cut, and you giggled with Nichole at how easy it was to get almost everyone going with just a simple kiss. As you being to descend the stage you felt a hand slowly snake around your arm, you furrowed your brows as you turned and came face to with the piercing blue eyes that at one point in time made your heart flutter. However, all they did now was leave you with a bitter taste of betrayal. Jerking your arm back, you quickly averted your eyes, trying to ignore the existence of your former boyfriend, James. "Baby, don't be like that," his silky voice whispered into your ear as he presided to wrap his muscular arms around your waist. Rolling your eyes, you chirped back at him. "First, I'm not your baby, Second I need a drink, so I'm going to need you to let go right now." Struggling for a moment to get out of his firm grip, you felt him slowly release his hold on you. Smiling to yourself that you had just evaded a possible fight, James leaned down and whispered, "I'll get it for you... Fireball, okay with you?" Sighing slightly to yourself, nodding your head, knowing it would be easier to indulge him for a minute rather than create a scene in front of everyone. Walking side by side with your obviously fucked up ex to the bar, he leaned over to chat with the bartender quietly. Thinking nothing of it, you turned on your heels to lean your tired body against the wall directly by the bar. You waited for James to deliver your drink; within minutes, he proudly held the drink out for you to take. Quickly grabbing the rather full shot glass from his hand, you downed it within seconds, feeling the warm liquid coat your mouth and burning your throat simultaneously.  Smiling to yourself knowing you'd soon be on your way home in a taxi with Nichole. "so Y/n how did it taste?" James smugly asked as he leaned into you. Clearing your throat, you gently placed your hands on his hard chest, pushing him back slightly.  "It wasn't as bad as other things I've tasted." You scoffed, smirking at him as he furrowed his brows at you. He continued to try and chat you up for a little while longer until he noticed you begin to space out on him. "Hmm, it's working faster than I thought it would," he thought before putting his arm around your waist to stabilize you before asking, "Y/n, can you please let me help you to the dressing room? it seems you've had too much to drink." Starting to feel the room spin around you, you slowly nodded your head before leaning on him to balance yourself. Both of you reached the dressing room in no time at all. It was dark, and all the other Gogo dances were still out having a good time leaving you completely alone with James. Thinking to yourself that something just wasn't adding up as you knew you weren't usually such a lightweight, granted you had indulged yourself before taking the stage earlier as per usual, you still knew that you could handle a lot more than that as this was almost a nightly thing for you since your parents had passed away little over a year ago.  James slowly led you to the old green sofa that the owner had placed in the dressing room for his beloved Gogo girls, before you suddenly felt James push you down onto your back while quickly maneuvering his body on top of your small frame. "No... get off..." you stammered, feeling his weight almost crush you and leaning down, so his face was mere inches away from yours. You could smell the whiskey on his breath as he said something that shook you to your very core... "You took that shot so fast you didn't even notice the G in it... How careless you've become Y/n."  With his words swirling through your mind, you couldn't help but feel as if this was all your fault. Knowing you only had a few more minutes of consumers left, you screamed as loud as your lungs would allow for help, but you knew the music in the club would be too loud for anyone to hear your cries. He traced his hands down your cold sweaty body to your small black shorts that looked more like underwear than shorts, before proceeding to rip them off you in one steady movement. You slowly started to disassociate as your body became limp, almost lifeless. The next thing you heard was his zipper sliding down; you closed your eyes, letting the darkness envelope you. But before you were completely gone, you heard something, a big banging sound, and that's the last thing you heard before you fell into a deep sleep. James swung his head around as he glared at the once locked door now wide open. Two figures were quickly running up to both of you. Before he knew what was happening, he was being thrown off you onto his back in the floor as the shorter of the two grabbed his shoulder and proceeded to give him one good punch to the side of his clenched jaw. "You think it's okay to force yourself on a helpless girl?!" the man barked at James, before turning to his friend and telling him to get you out of here while he takes care of James. The taller of the two nodes back as he swiftly picks your limp body off the sofa and runs out the door pausing only long enough to heed a warning to his friend. "Hey Jungkook, don't kill him, okay." Before he rushes out of the club with you clutched close to his chest. The next thing you knew, sunlight poured onto your face, wincing at the sun's unforgiving light; you slowly opened your eyes. Looking around, you quickly realized the was NOT your small apartment bedroom, nor was it the dark dressing room you had previously been held in. Grabbing your head as it began to pound with flashbacks of your night, you quickly pushed the soft white blanket off. Opening your eyes wide, you also realized you were in someone's boxers. Panic and sorrow almost overwhelmed you, clutching your small heaving chest you tried to focus on calming your rapidly beating heart. Click. you whipped your head around to someone slowly opening the door to the bedroom, peeking around to check on you. Jumping to your feet, you quickly realized springing to your feet so quickly was, in fact, a mistake as you began to stumble. Before you knew it, the unknown person sprinted through the door to try and catch you before you face plant. Closing your eyes tight, you reaching for your throbbing head once again, you felt a large hand on your shoulders as an oddly familiar voice spoke so sweetly it almost made you drop your guard completely. "Hey, careful girly. You had one hell of a time last night. I'm sure your still weak. I'm glad you're awake, but maybe you should sit back down for a moment." He helped you back to the bed, and you opened your weary eyes once more to be greeted by the last face you ever thought you'd see. Your jaw almost dropping to the floor, he chuckled lightly at your reaction before speaking again. "Are you okay? would you like some water?" Unable to think, let alone speak, you slowly nodded your head before watching him smile back and head out the door to fetch you some much-needed water. Unable to believe your own eyes, you assumed James had killed you, and you had gone to heaven, where a beautiful Namjoon was fetching you some water. Pinching yourself, you quickly concluded this was real life, and you were, in fact, still alive. You stat there puzzled for a minute before Namjoon sauntered back in with a cold glass of water. Smiling the sweetest smile you'd possibly ever seen while handing you the water ever so carefully. You managed to give a shy smile in return as you lifted the glass to your lips and began to sip the cold water, leaving you refreshed but still rather confused as to why the Namjoon was smiling down at you.  "So thank you so much for the water, but uhm.. how did I get here. and where is here exactly?" you softly spoke while glancing around the lavish room. "Well, this is Jungkook’s hotel room, and we brought you back here last night.." he spoke slowly so you could fallow as he explained they had been walking past the door to leave before hearing your cry for help. "So, after we got you out of the club, we didn't know what else to do other than bring you back with us," he finished. Shock was written all over your face, and you lowered your head in embarrassment. "Thank you so very much for all your help... I'm sorry I was a bother to you guys, if I could get my shorts I'll be out of your hair." Looking up, waiting for a response, you were almost floored when Namjoon brought his hand up to pat your head softly. "You were not a bother, I mean your not a bother... We are more than happy to help. That guy last night tore your shorts, so Jungkook said you can have those until we can get you something more suitable. If you can wait here awhile longer, the doctor will be back soon to inform us of your condition. And we can proceed from there." Your eyes grew as large as saucers as you repeated, "Do...Doctor....??" "Yes, of course, you were in pretty bad shape; we wanted to make sure you were okay before we sent you on your way." Namjoon chirped at you, quite pleased with himself. Before you could spring to your feet, the door slung wide open as a very angry looking Jungkook stormed in trying to yank Namjoon back out with him. "Hey, hey, hey, slow down, Kook. What's up, why so sour?" Joon teased as Jungkook continued to try to pull him out of the room. Namjoon stood his ground, looking at Jungkook with a questioning look on his bright face. Jungkook’s frown hardened as he glimpsed you out of the corner of his eye. "The doctor called. We need to speak in private. " He spat the words out of his beautiful mouth. Namjoon spoke almost instantly "if it pertains to uuhh... I'm sorry, what is your name?" he turned his head to ask while Jungkook kept a firm grip on his arm. Hanging your head low, you replied, "Y/n..." "Oh, what a beautiful name." he praised before he continued his thought. "As I was saying, if it pertains to Y/n, shouldn't she be included in this conversation." Unbenounced to Namjoon you wanted no part in this little conversation because you already knew what he was about to say.  "Fine have it your way Joon, we will do this right in front of her then. Well, the doctor did find GHB in her system... He also informed me she had high levels of quite a few other drugs in her system from days before. He also informed me that this is a telltale sign of a Junkie." Jungkook glared into your soul as his word junkie made you wince and hurt at the true but unforgiving word. You knew full well how you found yourself in the sin-filled life, you knew that if your mom hadn't died a month after finding out that she had lung cancer, and your father hadn't followed suit and passed away from a heart attack only a year later that this probably wouldn't be your reality right now. That if you hadn't felt as though when they left you, they had taken you along with them to the grave that you'd still be a normal 21-year-old. Silently watching Namjoon’s face distort into an unreadable expression, you began to try and run out of the hotel bedroom. Namjoon grabbed your arm as you tried to fly past him, you quickly looked at him pleading with your eyes for him to release you so you could crawl under a rock. "So Y/n.. is it true, do you regularly consume drugs?" He asked quietly, "Of course she does! The doctor has no reason to lie to us and look at how her hands are shaking. I'm sure she is having withdrawals as we speak!" Jungkook spat looking you up and down as if you were a bug he needed to squash. Focusing your eyes on Namjoon, you slowly shook your head as to say, "yes, it's true" without having to actually speak for fear, your voice might give away the fact tears were minutes away from falling down your soft red cheeks.  "I see, well, Y/n is this the life you want?" Namjoon’s question made you tense every muscle in your small sunken in body. Such a simple question but, no one had ever asked you that before, maybe because everyone you hung out with now did the same things as you, if not worse. Opening your mouth, you managed to stutter "Uh...no.. actually I...I'm tired of this life I've been tired  of this life for a while." Knowing the double meaning of your own words, you let your gaze drift away from Namjoon. "Okay, we can work with that. Y/n... would you like us to help you?" ...

To be continued...….

Yesterday, September 8th was the 53rd Anniversary of Star Trek, and aren’t we lucky to have had this happyplace in our lives? Wishing Happy Anniversary to the surviving cast of The Original Series, William Shatner, Nichelle Nichols, George Takei and Walter Koenig, and happy memories of our beloved other cast members, Leonard Nimoy, Deforest Kelley, James Doohan, Majel Barret, Grace Lee Whitney, and of course the creator, Gene Roddenberry. The dream of a better future lives on with Star Trek in all of it’s incarnations! May its vision of a peaceful and caring society truly live long and prosper!

One thing I loved about the original series is that even though not all characters had equal time, there were countless little moments where we’d see the human (or otherwise) nature of characters that would give us a peek into their personalities. Little quirks anyone could understand. In honor of 53 years of Star Trek, here are 53 moments of my favorite TOS episodes, 🙂

Also, more coverage of my visit to TreKonderoga in August coming this week! 

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Vina gets her wish in The Cage

“Jim.” A sad second of helplessness from Gary Mitchell.

“I can hear it too!”

Uhura bored at a meeting in Corbomite Manuever

Spock nearly apoligizing to Kirk in Corbomite Manuever

Christine hears Corby for the first time in years

Eve tells Ben Childress what to do with his pots and pans

And he does.

Spock grins while playing his harp.

Uhura sings the charms of Spock

Riley in full cowboy mode

Spock collapses against door

Spock’s first mind-meld.

Jim’s beautiful eyes.

RUk lifts Kirk like a baby.

Sulu casually says ‘No’ to Trelane’s food.

Uhura does NOT like Trelane’s

“They are as high above us as we are above the ameoba.”

McCoy and his fantasy showgirls

“With all due respect to the young lady…”

“You’re holding a knife at your physcian’s throat.

Marla entranced by Kahn

‘WE offered the world ORDER!”

“You couldn’t pronounce it”

Guilty.

Kirk misty-eyed after Edith’s kiss.

McCoy gently giggles with Edith.

Kirk devastated.

“Athena! You were right!”

Evil Spock’s first appearance.

Jim reminding Marlena how a lover should kiss.

“Why are you monitoring my communications Mr. Sulu?”

“How is it…done?”

“Vulcan’s never bluff”

That damn transporter at a critical moment!

Mudd realizing there’s 500 Stellas.

The Companion see Ephram through Nancy’s scarf.

“Go to him, Please!”

Eleen trusting McCoy.

Kracko tossing darts at Bela poster.

The first glorious appearance of gangsters K & S.

Kirk all buzzed and happy after his pep talk.

“Well, Hello!”

Henoch makes Spock more laid back.

She just loves him.

“Really, Doctor?”

“I love you, Miranda!”

Bones finally gets a kiss.

Marta’s modern dance..

Spock nonchalantly taps a force-field.

Double Neck Pinch!

Beale tense as destruction sequence continues.

A gentle, curious kiss.

    53 TOS Images for Star Trek’s 53rd Anniversary! Yesterday, September 8th was the 53rd Anniversary of Star Trek, and aren't we lucky to have had this happyplace in our lives?

Hi guys- life has been stressful and anxiety inducing so to distract myself...I am opening requests for the week of 9/10-9/17!!!!!

Be aware requests take time for me and I will likely be slow and I might get distracted, so you can always remind me. Think of it like cooking in the oven- it will take more time but be extra yummy. But you can ask for headcanons, drabbles, or smaller one-shots.

I will write for x reader with a lot of characters I've written for in the past, including...

Tom Hiddlestons' characters including...

Loki Laufeyson

Prince Hal/Henry V (The Hollow Crown: Henry IV and V)

Jonathan Pine (The Night Manager)

Thomas Sharpe (Crimson Peak)

Dr. Robert Laing (High-Rise)

Cpn. James Nicholls (War Horse)

William Buxton (Return to Cranford)

Caius Martius Coriolanus (Coriolanus)

James Conrad (Kong: Skull Island)

Jaguar Villain! Tom

I'll include Prof! Hiddleston as a character, bc why not.

I can also try writing Bucky (like I did in the past) or Steve Rogers!

I do accept Smut requests, just assure me you are over 18. If you are ever unsure about something, don't be afraid to ask.

Some things I will not write:

I will not write the cheating trope if they cheat on each other or with each other. Just, no. I have literal panic attacks over media with cheating in it.

I will not write non-con. Dub-con I can still do, but non-con, no way.

I will not write three ways or multiple partners. I don't know how to do it write and I don't find it as compelling or sexy as others do.

I will not write anything regarding Stepfather! Character x Reader. Please nothing like that.

I hate The Essex Serpent and find it triggering so please do not ask me to write Will Ransome x Reader unless it's a fic where he gets beaten up for cheating on Stella and my poor little meow meow Stella lives happily ever after, I know plenty of other people here who would be perfectly happy to write for him and who take requests, you can always ask me.

No incest requests, please.

Other than that, for this week, go wild! I will close requests 9/17 11:59 pm EST!

Taglist: @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @muddyorbsblr

Could you tell us about Mary Floyd Tallmadge please?

There actually isn’t anything known about her. 

Mary Floyd Tallmadge was born on March 6th, 1764 to William Floyd and Hannah Floyd. She grew up in Connecticut for all of her life but the British occupied her family home on Long Island for a lot of the war. She had an older brother named Nicholl born in 1762 and a younger sister named Catherine “Kitty”, born 1767, who was at one point courted by James Madison in the 1780s. 

Her father was considered a simple man whose greatest pleasures were hunting and hosting parties for his friends. As a child her father was constantly involved in politics. William Floyd spoke up strongly against British taxes, and was elected to the Continental Congress in 1774 and served in the First and Second Continental Congresses, from 1774 to 1777, and from 1778 to 1781. He continued to serve in the Congress of the Confederation, from 1781 to 1783. Neither a self-serving lawyer nor a politician, he would sit in the Congress listening to the debates, but contributing little except to work hard on the various committees. In 1776, he led a New York militia unit, and in one skirmish, his men drove off British invaders attempting to land on Long Island. The British soon returned in strong numbers, and took the island. 

Mrs. Floyd had time to bury the family silver before she and her three children, with a few friends and neighbors fled across the waist of the island to its north shore and sailed across Long Island Sound to shelter with friends in Middletown. On 17 October 1776 William Floyd reported, “I am now going to try to get some of my effects from the island if it is possible, and shall be absent from Congress a few days, I beg you would excuse me as it is the first time I have absented myself.” On 28 October 1776 Governor Jonathan Trumbull ordered an armed party to cross the Sound and bring back Floyd’s possessions. Local fishermen were the ones who took Hannah Floyd with others across Long Island Sound to Connecticut and safety, eventually to hide in Middletown, Connecticut until the end of the war. However, in Middletown, May 16th, 1781, Hannah died as a result of exposure, fatigue, stress and illness. 

When peace was made in 1783, Mary returned to the family home in Long Island with her father and two siblings but during the seven-year occupation, British Cavalry had turned their home into a stable, and had ruined it. Her father rebuilt the house and the next year, May 16th 1784, to the date three years after her mother’s death, he remarried Joanna Strong. She was born in Setauket, New York on January 4th, 1747. By her he had two additional children, Anna “Ann” Floyd (born 1786) and Elizabeth “Eliza” Floyd (born 1789). 

In 1784, Mary married Benjamin Tallmadge. Of this he wrote in his autobiography:

“After visiting Connecticut, and arranging a settling my plans for mercantile life, in the place where I now reside, on the 18th of March, 1784, I led Miss. Floyd to the hymenial alter, and commenced the life and duties of a married man. She was the eldest daughter of the Hon. William Floyd, of Mastic, Long Island. He was the man of very extensive landed possessions on the island, but having actively engaged on the side and in the cause of his country, he was oblige to abandon his estates, and was a member of Congress through the war. As soon as peace was proclaimed, he, with many others who had left their property in the hands or under the control of the common enemy, returned to their homes. These they found, for the most part, sadly changed for the worse. But it was very comforting to all who had suffered this voluntary banishment from their own soil, once more to place the soles of their feet upon it. The nuptials of Miss Floyd and myself were solemnized on the 18th of March, 1784, my honored father officiating, when Gen. Floyd gave a most sumptuous entertainment to a great number of invited guests.”

Her new husband’s father officiated the ceremony on March 18th, 1784, there were many guests that were invited to it. Soon after the married, they both paid a visit to New York where “we found a great number of friends, which whom we spent a few weeks very pleasantly.”

“We were treated with great hospitality by the family of Mr. Joseph Hallett, at whose hospitable abode we were invited to take up our lodgings. After this visit was ended, we returned back to Mastic, calling on our friends on the north side of Long Island and on Shelter Island, whom we wished to see before we departed to our abode at Litchfield, Connecticut. We took a jaunt down the island, which was considered rather as a parting visit. In this also we had a very pleasant journey, and time seemed to glide sensibly away, which brought us every day nearer to the period when we expected to bid Long Island a final adieu as our home. Indeed I had not made it my place of residence since I entered college in the year 1769, and for my beloved partner, she had never seen her father ‘s house since the family left it in the year 1776, when the British troops took possession of it and New York.”

With Benjamin Tallmadge she resided for the reminder of her life in Lichfield, Connecticut for the rest of her days. She had seven children: 

William Smith Tallmadge (born 1786), Henry Floyd Tallmadge (born 1787), Maria Jones Tallmadge (born 1790), Frederick Augustus Tallmadge (1792), Harriet Wadsworth Tallmadge (1797), Benoni Tallmadge (1792) and George Washington Tallmadge (1800).

Mary Floyd Tallmadge died on June 3rd, 1805 at the age of forty-one. 

Book List 2020

Congratulations, by the Way by George Saunders

The Sun also Rises by Ernest Hemingway

A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn

East of Eden by John Steinbeck

The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides

Readling Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

The Group by Mary McCarthy

Catch-22

Gone by Cathi Hanauer

The Book of Madness and Cures by Regina O'Melveny

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandrew Dumas pere

Lord of the Flies by William Golding

What ever happened to baby jane? by Henry Farrell

The Murderer's Daughters by Randy Susan Meyers

Big Fish: a novel of mythic proportions by Daniel Wallace

Lost Girls: an unsolved American Mystery by Robert Kolker

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

The Penguin Book of Witches edited by Katherine Howe & a Penguin Classic

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway

Not a fan. by Kyle Idleman

The Good Girl by Mary Kubica

Allegiant

She's Come Undone by Wall Lamb

Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Pride and Prejudice-Jane Austen

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier

The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman

Dune by Frank Herbert

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz

Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely

Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse

Asylum

Sanctum

Magpie by Michael James

The Lost Girls by J. Baggett, H. Corbett, A. Pressner

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell (also David & Golliath and Blink)

The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan

A people's History of the United States by Howard Zinn

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

Discipline and Punish by Michael Foucault

Stiff by Mary Roach

Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls by David Sedaris

Beloved by Toni Morrison

The Jungle

Ada or Ardor

Under the Banner of Heaven

Me Talk Pretty One Day

Water for Elephants

Go Ask Alice anonymous

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Brief Interviews with Hideous Men by David F. Wallace

The Eskimo and the Oil Man: the battle at the top of the world for America's Future

Kabloona: among the Inuitt

The Psychopath Test: a journey through the madness industry by Jon Ronson

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut

Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Life after Life by Kate Atkinson

Keep it Shut by Karen Ehman

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith

The Help

Heaven Is for Real

American Sniper

12 Years A Slave

 jose saramago: death with interruptions  

the good girl by mary kubica 

defending jacob: by william landay

the omnivore's dilemma by MIchael Pollan 

thinking fast & slow by daniel Kahneman

 discipline and punish by michael foucault 

still by mary roach 

second life by s.j. watson

 luckiest girl alive by jessica knoll

 her by harriest lane 

the memory box by eva lesko natiello

 is everyone hanging out without me? (and other concerns) by mindy kaling

 why men don't listen & women can't read maps: how we're different and what to do about it 

don't worry, it gets worse: one twentysomethings (mostly failed) attempts at adulthood: alida nugent 

mwf seeking BFF: my yearlong search for a new best friend**** 20-something, 20-everything: a quarter-life woman's guide to balance & direction girls in white dresses** 

adulting: how to become a grown-up in 468 easy(ish) steps the defining decade: why your twenties matter-and how to make the most of them now**** 　 

the phantom tollbooth norton juster will grayson, will grayson-john green & david levithan 

a suitable boy-vikram seth

 invisible monster-chuck palahnuik 

slaughterhouse give-kurt vonnegut 

she's come undone-wally lamb 

the song of achilles-madeline miller 

the glass castle- jeannette walls 

11/22/63= stephen king 

the speechqriter a brief education in politics by barton swaim

 hand to mouth living in boostrap america by linda tirado 

****choke by Chuck Palahniuk ***

pedigree how elite students get elite jobs married sex by jesse kornbluth

 after i do by taylor jenkins reid 

everything changes by jonathan tropper 

heartburn by nora ephron 

good in bed by jennifer weiner

 love the one you're with by emily giffin 

compromising positions by susan isaacs 

damange by josephine hart

 us by david nicholls 

women in love by d.h. lawrence 

 the witches-roald dahl

 the haunting of hill house-shirley jackson 

20 books to read in 20s the sun also rises-ernest hemingway t

hinking, fast, and slow by daniel kahneman 

a heartbreaking work of staggering genius-dave eggers 

the country girls by edna o'brien

 the minotaur takes a cigarette break by ssteven sherrill

 **** the secret history by donna tartt *** 

pulphead by john jeremiah sullivan

 the beauty myth by naomi wolf 

slaughterhouse-five by kurt vonnegut

In the Heart of the Sea by Nathaniel Philbrick

James Nicholls wants to have a baby with a reader. She wants to get away from him. James caresses her gently and kisses her. He tells her that they will try for a baby tomorrow. The reader is terrified and tries to get out of bed, but James holds her wrists and says she must be in bed with him.

Trigger Warning: obsession, yandere, forced.

Word Count: 1862

Character: James Nicholls/reader

Summary: James wants a baby, but you're against it.

POV James

He liked to see you in bed. In his bed, which he had bought himself, distributing his pitiful soldier's pay for the arrangement of furniture and home comfort. He did not want to admit to himself that at least the pay of a soldier in those difficult war years for people was very good. The pay was excellent and one month would have been enough for two more, while sharing the household budget with his wife. But now he was being paid, as a former soldier, a fairly small salary, which meant that he had to earn extra money and save money.

But surprisingly, the police paid enough. The salary for his main job as a police officer in his small village covered everything, so there was a lot of money left for other small expenses and food. As well as the paper he used too often.

James swallowed, smiling slightly and wiping his pencil with his thumb, making a smudge for the shadows on the man's body. The love of drawing, which had been instilled in him since childhood, always gave him pleasure. It was nice to sit in silence, enjoying only the small crowing of the chickens in his parents ' backyard, and leaning against the wall of the room, drawing, remembering, and memorizing all sorts of images.

James has always had a great passion for drawing and for art in general. He wanted to achieve something great. Make it so that it is remembered. And they remembered him not as just an unlucky person in the family circle, as everyone thought, but as a famous artist who would dedicate his works to his beautiful wife and share his art all over the world. And, of course, he also wanted respect.

A man rarely got respect in the family circle. Being a rather soft and insecure person, little James was teased, as he himself remembers, from the beginning of the school to which his father sent him, paying off the last money for his son's education, even without counting the fact that he himself had a lot of debts.

James didn't really remember him. Only in fragments. A tough man, whose nra still try to subdue. And everyone always wondered how such a man could have such a son that even a woman could not command?

James shook his head, running the hard lead over the soft paper of his sketchbook, which he had barely found in the town. He considered drawing his outlet. Something that he can only share on paper and only to himself. Basically, in his paintings, he liked to draw people, animals and feelings. Unattainable feelings that all the people in the world deny. Weakness, pain, and poverty. A disturbing topic, but very important. The one that all people are afraid to reveal.

As he made a few more touches, James pushed it slightly away from him, carefully assessing the result. His beloved wife, his beloved rose. You. You were so good at this image. An innocent but fatal beauty was visible in you in his drawing. The only thing he didn't particularly like about the painting was the shadows. It is quite difficult to find the right slates, since all the artists wrote at once with paints, even without wanting to outline.

James chuckled as he set his leather-bound sketchbook down on the low round table beside the bed. His gaze immediately shifted to you and he tried to stifle a small moan. No, he definitely didn't think you were a sexual object. Of course, he had such feelings for you, but basically they were all tender and as sensual as possible.

He saw how your beautiful eyes, which reflected and understood absolutely everything, tensely jumped from line to line. He was curious about what you were reading, so James quickly reached for your hands, snatched the book out of them, closed it, and wrote the title of the cover.

"Little women," he muttered, frowning, one hand clutching a book with a soft and battered cover. Without turning, he frowned. "I haven't read this yet. Interesting?" Looking up, he smiled a soft smile as he placed the book on the table where he had previously placed his sketchbook with an unfinished drawing.

He saw your startled and slightly frightened look. Did he scare you?" Or disgusted? No, no, no! He definitely didn't want to do it. His eyes widened slightly as goose bumps covered his back.

But no, of course he imposes it all on himself. You love him, and he loves you. You had a pure and tender love, which can not be compared with anything, even with book novels.

The man reflected your smile and stretched out his hand, touching your stomach covered with a sheet and looking from him to you, looking at the features of your face with such a penetrating look, as if he wanted to remember forever.

Your velvety, bottomless eyes looked straight into his soul, searching for every bit of his unforgiving sins and punishing him. And he would definitely repent of them.

"My rose, I've wanted everything for a long time, but I didn't dare..." James muttered, stroking your stomach and feeling it sink slightly down, as if moving away from his touch. "What do you think about it?.." he was nervous. I was nervous. It was such an awkward yet interesting feeling that he couldn't describe it. "What do you think about having a baby?" he finally managed to say, feeling his hands start to shake from the strain.

He was burdened with the happiness of becoming a father with the one girl he loved, cherished, and was literally dependent on. He always wanted to feel her gentle touch, her soft words, her lovely appearance, her beautiful voice and, of course, her witty mind. So wonderful and so lovely. And all of it.

Suddenly, he felt your body tense under the weight of his hand, and you jerked. James frowned. He didn't like it. Are you trying to leave him?" Run away? From him? Or from responsibility? No, he doesn't want that.

"What are you doing, my rose?" he couldn't remember when the nickname had first appeared. Perhaps when they had first met and crossed eyes in the flower shop where James himself had bought flowers for his mother.

***

"Yes, finish this bouquet, please," he said, smiling sweetly at the saleswoman, who nodded and could not help but reflect his smile and catch his flattering state. James grinned, looking around. He's never been here before. Buy flowers. Who's going to do it anyway?

He turned his head to the right after the saleswoman, and his eyes widened in incredible and flattering surprise. Right in front of him, in the farthest corner of the hall, stood the most beautiful and beautiful girl he had ever met.

Her hair was tied up in a small bun that pulled her hair up; he couldn't see her eyes, but he was sure they were incredible. Lowering his eyes a little lower, he noticed what she was wearing, smiling slightly. Such innocence.

***

Touching your hand with a light touch, the man pulled his whole body up to you, touching your soft lips with yours, barely holding back a moan at how soft and pliable they were. Stepping back slightly, he touched his forehead to yours, feeling the little saliva that ran from your lips to his.

"We'll try to have a baby tomorrow, my rose."

***

POV Your

You wanted to leave. Make a scene and leave without even saying goodbye. Slam the door loudly, saying you don't want to hear his voice. But you knew that was impossible. That it was too risky and putting the trust that James had in you was risky. Once again, you didn't want to get into his confidence by talking about it, praising his ears with flattering comments in his direction.

It's better to leave it as it is. What does it say? Is the old evil better than the new? Yes, I think so. So it's better not to make James angry, but just continue to pretend to be his wife, that she loves him. At least he wouldn't notice.

You never thought that this nice gentleman. Your sweet boy and friend James, who was so sweet and charming, will eventually turn out to be a man who is obsessed with you and believes that his love is pure and does not even realize that he is hurting you.

But now it seemed to you that he had overstepped his bounds.

Have a baby? You absolutely did not want to do this because you thought it was too much. Yes, you have been living together for more than a year, but it is still scary to go to such a step. And you definitely didn't want a child with a man who literally kidnapped you and forced you to be his wife.

And yet, despite all the flaws, you didn't think he was crazy. And no, you didn't love him. There was no love between you, and there can't be any, because you hate him, and he's just obsessed with you. It's not love.

"Wh-what?" you tried to force yourself to say, feeling your hands tremble under James ' touch, and coda's skin prickle with goose bumps. Your breathing became ragged and erratic.

"Yes, my rose, why don't we have a baby? I think we're ready for this, " he muttered under his breath, moving away from you and wiping away the saliva with his finger, smiling slightly at you. Smiling the smile you've come to love, not knowing what lies behind her mask.

You hated the way he called you. A rose. With my rose. You didn't belong to him, and it sounded disgusting. Too disgusting. It's like he only thought of you in a sexual way. Because you only associated rose with sexuality.

You looked up at him, feeling very confused. James was definitely a freak at heart, but his appearance was not lacking in nature. He was handsome: his blond hair was cut short; his blue eyes, like a distance in which you could disappear, looked at you with a needful look; his lips were thin. His face was so aristocratic that you couldn't believe he was an ordinary soldier.

But no, you're not buying his innocent face. Although you were still tormented by doubts. James has never physically touched you before. It is possible only morally, and this is rare. So you didn't know how to describe him as a person. He was a rather ambiguous person. The face of an angel, which in the end turned out to be a devil, but a devil in which an angel is half seen.

You shook your head, wanting to leave the room and get the hell out of there. Just away from James and his ideas. Sitting up, you were about to get up, until you felt James's big hand on your emaciated wrist, and he was glowering at you from under his brows. He was scary.

"You will stay in bed with me, my rose."

Alnwick Castle’s Gunpowder Plotter

If you’ve been watching Gunpowder on BBC One over the past few weeks, you’ve probably heard the names ‘Thomas Percy’ and ‘Northumberland’ – one was a Gunpowder Plotter alongside Kit Harington’s Catesby, and the other part of King James’ council. But Northumberland – or Henry Percy, 9th Earl of Northumberland – and Thomas were also both strongly connected to Alnwick Castle. One was its lord and owner, and Thomas was its Constable.

Thomas, who was born in Yorkshire in 1560, was a distant cousin of the 9th Earl; they shared a great-great-grandfather, but while Thomas’ father was a country squire, he was proud of his Percy ancestry. Growing up near Beverley where the family had had great influence, he may have heard stories of famous rebellious forebears like Harry Hotspur, or another Thomas, beheaded for his Catholic faith by Elizabeth I.

He was probably given the role of Constable by the 9th Earl around 1594. Northumberland was looking for someone active, and high-profile, to be his most important northern official; the fact Thomas was a Percy was an advantage, but probably not the only reason for getting the job.

Being Constable of Alnwick Castle meant being an official at the highest level – the Constable was directly responsible to the Earl of Northumberland himself.

Thomas and the earl were similar ages, and both had been reckless and adventurous young men. Thomas once wrote to his cousin about “the errors and idle vanities of my youth”.

When Thomas arrived in Alnwick, he would have been a large, tall man with a blonde streak of hair. There was considerable trouble on the border between England and Scotland at this time, and so one of his first acts was ensuring the tenants of Alnwick had equipped themselves with helmets, shields, pikes and horses so they could defend their interests, and those of the earl, from Scottish attack. He also had to make sure Alnwick Castle had enough brewing, kindling, horse fodder, bedding and other supplies.

However, Thomas himself was suspected of allying with Scotland several times. One of his servants, a man called Davidson, was accused of joining with Scotland, and Thomas himself supposedly sold the bell of Warkworth Castle to the captain of a Scottish ship.

Eventually, Thomas became a messenger of the earl to the court of King James VI in Edinburgh on behalf of English Catholics.

Thomas’ religious beliefs were one reason to take on this role. Though probably not the most devout of the Gunpowder Plotters, he was a Catholic, and both he and the earl hoped for increased tolerance of private Catholic practices once James became King in England too.

(Northumberland himself is known to have said he did not trouble himself much over religion.)

Other reasons why Thomas became a messenger to the Scottish court included Alnwick’s proximity to Edinburgh, his great skill as a horseman, and the fact he had served with the earl’s predecessor as a young man – and the 8th Earl was likely a supporter of Mary, Queen of Scots.

Thomas made the trip across the border several times, and it seems that assurances had been made that James would consider some kind of Catholic tolerance in England. Perhaps his failure to do so was what provoked Thomas to join Catesby and the Plotters.

Most of Thomas’ time as Constable of Alnwick Castle appears to have been spent on horseback, travelling around the earl’s territories, chasing thieves and collecting rents. He would write regularly to the earl – his last letter surviving in Alnwick Castle’s archives is dated 19th September, 1605, just a few weeks before Gunpowder, and mentions meeting Northumberland in London on Thomas’ next visit – but by 1602 the earl’s other officials were also writing to complain about Thomas’ behaviour.

Complaints included the unjust imprisonment of tenants in Alnwick Castle, taking bribes, and constantly interfering in matters beyond Alnwick that did not concern him.

The 9th Earl seems to have trusted Thomas, however; at least in his early years as Constable. Surviving letters have him described as “my trusty and well-beloved cousin” and “my loving cousin Thomas Percy esquire”.

Thomas’ letters were studied by former Alnwick Castle Archivist, Colin Shrimpton, for the 400th anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot. Shrimpton describes Thomas as ‘a man of great mood swings. It is hard to put your finger on it, but there is an underlying feeling that he was up to something.’

He definitely was – as we know from the Gunpowder series, Thomas took a leading role in the plan to blow up King James and the Houses of Parliament. Star Chamber, the official court based in the Palace at Westminster at the time, described him as ‘one of the principal conspirators in this… abominable treason’.

(Thomas was also married to Martha Wright, the sister of two other Plotters, John and Christopher Wright.)

As seen in Gunpowder, Thomas leased the storerooms under the Lords’ Chamber where Parliament would meet on the 5th November, 1605, and gave Guy Fawkes (using the name John Johnson) to oversee storage of gunpowder and wood there. Thomas also had a watch delivered to Fawkes for correctly timing the lighting of the fuse, but this detail has been changed for the series, as you will see if you watch the final episode!

Thomas himself arrived in London on the 1st November, after collecting various rents in the north, and on the 4th November, he met the 9th Earl of Northumberland at Syon House, one of his London properties (and one that still belongs to the Percys today). Thomas and the earl ate together on the 4th, and probably discussed Border matters, but we don’t know if Thomas also warned his cousin and employer about the Plot and what was going to happen the following day.

Unfortunately for the 9th Earl, having dinner with Thomas the day before Fawkes was discovered underneath Parliament with the gunpowder implicated him in the Plot, whether he was actually involved or knew about it or not.

Evidence given against the earl in the court proceedings following the discovery of the Plot state that on “the Monday [Thomas] went to Syon and then had secret conference with the Earl. And that Monday at 11 o’clock at night Percy sent Robert Keyes, one other of the said traitors, with a clock or watch unto Fawkes”.

One nobleman who was warned about the Gunpowder Plot was Lord Monteagle, who received a letter warning him not to attend Parliament on the 5th November. The Monteagle Letter ultimately led to the discovery and foiling of the Plot, and Thomas, who was an acquaintance of Monteagle, was at one time suspected of having written this letter. If this was true, it would follow that he had also warned his cousin the earl, and that even if the earl was not actively involved in the Plot, he was suspected of knowing about it.

However, Mark Nicholls of Cambridge University notes that the 9th Earl had travelled into London from Syon on the evening of the 4th, and his robes had been prepared for attending Parliament the following day, so perhaps he did not know anything about the Plot. It certainly appeared like he was not intending to avoid it.

When the Plot was discovered, Thomas and the other Plotters fled. On the 7th November, at Holbeach Hall in Staffordshire, a single shot killed both him and another Plotter. Some sources say this was Catesby; he and Thomas were standing back to back defending themselves, and the bullet went through one man and into the other, killing both. Thomas’ head was then cut off and exhibited in London.

When news of the Plot, and Thomas’ involvement in it, reached the region where he had been Constable, one man – George Whitehead, from Tynemouth Castle – proclaimed ‘I wish to God he had never been born.’

Thomas was now dead, but the Earl of Northumberland was still under suspicion. He was immediately suspected of involvement because, as Shrimpton states, he was ‘the Plotters’ likely chosen regent for the realm had the Plot succeeded’.

Nicholls agrees, noting that investigators were ‘convinced that so audacious a plan had wider ramifications’ and arrested several noblemen with known connections to the Plotters. The earl was one of these, and though Nicholls argues the Plotters had not definitively chosen a Lord Protector for their new realm (they had hoped to raise King James’ daughter Elizabeth as a Catholic Queen), Northumberland was a likely candidate. He was ‘a privy councillor, a member of the old nobility, a wealthy man and, though himself a Protestant, representative of one of the foremost Catholic families in England’.

Northumberland was arrested at Syon and taken straight away to Lambeth Palace for questioning before being transferred to the Tower of London (if you watch Gunpowder you may not see this take place on screen!). Star Chamber alleged he was part of the Plot because of his kinship with Thomas Percy, their meeting at Syon on the 4th November, and that while the Plotters were fleeing, the earl’s main concern was not that Thomas was apprehended, but that he didn’t steal his recently collected rents on the way!

The final charge against Northumberland was Thomas’ appointment as a Gentleman Pensioner, the select group of bodyguards that attended the King on ceremonial occasions. The earl was captain of the Gentleman Pensioners, and may have given Thomas the honoured role as reward for his journeys to James’ Scottish court. However, Thomas had never been made to swear the oath of loyalty that went with the position, and the fact that he, now a known would-be killer of the King, had been allowed to carry a poleaxe in James’ presence without having sworn any oath of loyalty was not favourable to Northumberland’s innocence.

(The fact Thomas’ appointment as a Gentleman Pensioner coincided with the time he committed himself to the Gunpowder Plot must not have helped the earl’s case.)

The Star Chamber report explains the situation: ‘he did either maliciously or negligently prefer Thomas Percy, an obstinate papist, into the king’s service to attend as a pensioner; and put an axe of defence into his hands that had formerly sworn to kill the king. To this the earl answered that he had trusted him long and knew no ill in him in that time.’

Thomas Percy was the only man who could clear Northumberland’s name – or condemn him – or in the words of the time, show him ‘clear as the day, or dark as the night’. In fact, the first messengers to reach London from Holbeach reported Thomas was only wounded, not dead. The 9th Earl asked for an immediate examination to take place to show his innocence – but Thomas was dead, and so this could not be done.

The report from Star Chamber declares that ‘some of the lords said that they had known some others convicted of treason upon lesser and more weak presumptions than these. And what this case deserved in regard of that most execrable powder treason, let all nations be mindful, for no tongue can express what ruin and desolation both nocent and innocent had tasted’.

Reports that Thomas had told one of the other Plotters that ‘if the business did miscarry, the Earl of Northumberland would curse him’ must have also counted against his cousin Henry. The 9th Earl of Northumberland was condemned to prison.

The 9th Earl spent nearly 17 years as a prisoner in the Tower of London, but maintained he was innocent throughout. He was also fined £30,000, an enormous sum of money to be raised from his estates.

However, he lived in very comfortable conditions for a prisoner. He could control his own diet, with everything from wine to lamprey pies being delivered to him from Syon. He had his library transferred to his cell, and built both a laboratory for his alchemy experiments and a schoolroom for his two sons to be educated in. His horse was brought up from his Sussex estate for him to inspect and ride, and he could go for walks on pathways he had re-gravelled. He could play games with his sons, bowl in the bowling alley made for his cell, and study military tactics with them using lead soldiers. He also set up a counting house for his auditors just outside the Tower, and could survey and map his lands, leading to a full involvement in the management of his estate that meant he could afford the £30,000 for his release.

By 1622, the earl was free, but confined to his estate in Sussex. He never visited Alnwick Castle again. The Gunpowder Plot, described at the time as ‘that most execrable and dampened powder treason, whereby the political head and many of the principal members of this commonwealth… should at one instant have been suddenly blown up and dismembered to the utter ruin of the whole monarchy’, had had a lasting effect on the castle, and its family. As the 9th Earl’s brother Josceline put it, there is ‘seldom treason without a Percy’.

The final episode of Gunpowder is broadcast on BBC One on Saturday 4th November, or is available to stream with the whole series on BBC iPlayer.

Gunpowder: Trailer - BBC One