what job do each side work?

logan works an office or a teaching job; some job with a strict five day a week schedule, with a bit that can be done at home. im biased towards office (because logan and the "teacher" character are different characters in thomass vids, and i feel like logan would be Significantly Worse with kids), but i think he could do both

roman and remus both do art commissions from home to fund their own hobbies (romans being theatre and remuss generally being anything hes interested in in the moment). romans a better writer, and remus is a better artist, but they both love crafts and so have pretty bustling etsy shops (or something akin)

janus either doesnt work, or works a minimum wage job where he straight up just steals from there. he hates it, but often goes home with a bag of food that he can binge because it was gonna be thrown out anyway

i dont know what jobs patton and virgil would work. patton gives very stay-at-home dad energy, but i cant see him exceling in any field aside from like daycare attendant. and i think virgil gets too stressed to do anything (maybe like a stock boy at walmart lmao so he doesnt have to talk to anybody)

happy TWO YEAR anniversary to everyone who attended the destiel wedding!

and happy valentines day to the rest of you guys <3 click the image for a surprise!

if you’ve ever seen that one post (i’ll link it in the replies) about the parallels between the rodeo scene in 12x11 and the movie “urban cowboy” and it entirely broke your brain, then this post is for you. and also i’m kissing you on the mouth

[ID. Digital art of Dean Winchester done in black and white. He’s is laid back on top of an electric bull. One hand rests on his hip while the other hovers in mid-air, fingers slightly curled, and he seems to be looking at it. When clicked, the transparency shows Castiel standing behind him. Castiel is holding Dean’s hand to his lips, while his other hand supports the back of Dean’s head. Castiel has a visible halo and wings that he has curled protectively around Dean. End ID.]

Why is my stupid idiot brain sunk to the very bottom of the sea bed like whale fall. I'm on extra strength medication, I'm staying off social media, I'm surrounded by kittens. And yet. My anxiety has turned into full blown agoraphobia and I'm so depressed that getting out of bed is a feat I only achieve because my cats need feeding.

It's been almost seventeen years of being bipolar but I still can't internalise that mood disorders are actual illnesses that disable and debilitate as much as any physical disease. Clearly the only thing wrong with me is that I'm not trying hard enough to crawl out of this. If I really wanted to get better I'd fight through my anxiety and back pain and sensory hell and do stuff like go to therapy, eat healthy, exercise and get a job.

To make matters worse, my brain keeps hollering that I'm 37 this year and no closer to joining the rest of the job-having, rent-paying, independent adult world. The fact that I've been in a consistently worsening mental health crisis since 2020 to the point that I was in greater danger than I've ever been of committing suicide the first six months of last year is clearly irrelevant. Somehow.

Tbh, if it wasn't for my rescue kittens, I'd be regretting that I didn't just go through with it. Not enough to go through with it now, but regretting it all the same. But I do have my kitties so I can't regret it. Instead, I'm just resigning myself to the fact that having something to live for, even when I don't want to, is the best I'll ever get.

SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything

...

people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?

woof. i am calling my therapists office tomorrow!!!

im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia

and is there not just generally a certain level of decency that would make you like ease up on a person who's obviously more than a little frazzled i am sorry that i cant process all my feelings and regurgitate them to you in an easily digestible manner while im actively In a situation or have a prepared disclaimer about how im so sorry but im just overwhelmed and need you to leave me alone right now or whatever else maybe i just dont know maybe i cant tell you exactly what im feeling or need and if i have to figure it out and explain that to you my brain is going to explode. but you could read the room. is there not a point where a friend would probably just go oh okay let me not continue pushing this person let me take a moment to reflect on their state and perhaps try to ease that or at least not keep fucking pushing on it. and also maybe not choose these moments to make otherwise innocuous but contextually just kinda meanspirited jabs. ok whatever

Am I even worth anything?

people always ask me if im going to do something with my art money-wise and it's like... not every hobby artist is destined to make money off it.

it's a huge task to get noticed online, let alone make money. it's like having another job. you have to promote and push yourself and your image. it's like running a business. and there is no way in hell i'm ever going to do that. im tired enough from working full time already. and even when i take time off... i still dont feel like i have enough time to sit down, relax, and work on my art.

and sometimes... people just want to do art as a hobby. not everyone wants to make money off it. and that's okay.

Sometimes I'll be watching an American TV show and there's this idea that if you're treated like dog shit you'll want to win or succeed to "prove them wrong." Like on Glee Finn describes putting up with Sue's abuse as hurtful but mostly it makes him want to win, and idk if this is a uniquely American thing or not but it baffles me.

When I work hard on stuff and people act like it's shit, or don't acknowledge my effort, or some other thing I don't get motivated. I have the opposite reaction especially if I've worked hard on something and that effort ultimately ends up being for nothing- like why would I try HARDER at something that didn't work? That's a waste of time lol I stop putting effort in at all and put the effort I was spending on something that didn't work out into something that might. Do people seriously believe that being treated like shit or otherwise having your hard work dismissed is motivational?? Because that sounds extremely counterintuitive to how I feel like people work unless I'm built different and I don't think I am in this case.

I kinda feel like I've just hard erased any happiness or elation I had from being done with school all just so I wouldnt get asked a stupid question anymore I hate this I hate this

god i fucking hope this rover thing pays off.

...

tag vent bc grosss (vent about ex tw)