Tumgik
#ive literally never not been more not okay than i have been this year. & i continuously get more brutalized no matter what.
hecksupremechips · 1 month
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Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of
#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit#i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it#very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically#some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like#AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE#and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to#and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded#it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me#i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me#and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him#away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt#feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like#aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family#hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs#his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage#and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them#HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM#and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is#but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK#and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way#or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he#doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’#yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them
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cinnamon-notes · 18 days
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leaving the apartment where i lived with my ex turned out to be more painful than her leaving the apartment where we lived together
#i keep unconsciously forgetting stuff there that will have me go back there just one more time and somehow it's so hard and soooo painful#tried to talk to my mom about this but that era of my life is actually something she cant bring herself to reminisce at all#i could really use a talk with my mom abt this but i dont wanna force a subject on her especially if its something i know she cant talk abt#it was the darkest era of my life and we had that phase lorelai and rory went through when rory dropped out of yale#and i have to thank GG because it made me realize in how much pain my mom must've been at seeing her gifted elder daughter become her worse#self and literally waste everything she was and had and knew. which also helped me realize why she isn't that happy when i mention that time#we went through. cant blame her. i literally threw away two years of my life and all the beautiful people ive been up to that time.#but still- i really need to talk to her about this. because it was indeed painful to walk around an apartment newly emptier and not be able#to be eaten out alive by all the spots of that apt where some things happened or some things were said or some things were seen. it was. it#was extremely painful. it hurt so fucking much. but leaving those spots omg- being willing to never spot them again. being willing to lose#the memory of them. forever. wow- it's a completely different level of pain. it just hurts differently. because i know it's time and i know#it's been time for a very VERY long time. and i know this is literally all it takes for me to be more free from the thought of my ex. i know#it's more than necessary and i know it's the right thing. it still hurts. cuz it's all damn over. and i let it pass without ever actively#process it. because to process it was too painful. and i will heal silently. away from here. alone. with a few true friends. i know i will.#it still hurts cuz like- you can know you made the right decision ans you can still grieve and hurt. so yeah im ceying bye i need my mom and#i need to process many things and im way too traumatized and i probably wont have any other romantic/platonic/sexual relationship for many#many years. and i probably wont have that many friends for a little while. and its okay. its time to settle a little bit steadier than i am.#always remembering im not a tree and im actually allowed to move whenever and wherever i wish. but i need more stability right now. i need#to learn how to love myself without becoming cynical. and im almost there. i know i am. i can feel it. and i feel this steadiness for it to#final.#cinnamon diary#sorry about the rant im just in desperate need to cry and hurt
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flamestar126 · 6 months
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Dentist/teeth venting lol
#turns out i have inflamed gums and the cleaning hurts like a bitch#the dentists are always so rough stabs and leaves me bleeding near the end#told the liquid to clean my mouth was gross then proceed to lift my chair without warning me i ended up swallowing some out of surprise#did x rays and they dig into my gums so bad i literally could taste blood during#“you need to floss more” i dont know how to care of braces! the first day of getting them you guys said ok and sent me off without any info#google doesnt tell you shit as a 17 y/o then questioning me using terms ive never heard of before im not a dentist im confused dumbass ;A;;#they dropped my wire theyre supposed to put back in my mouth and couldnt find it i saw it drop under the counter and struggled to pick it u#also struggled to put a new wire on and spent over 10 min trying to put back my rubber bands#i cant open my mouth bigger than that! my mouth is small im a tiny person please stop stabbing me with those sharp tools every 5 seconds#guess who just found that tiny lost broken wire in mouth as im writing this#when they cut my wire to fit in my mouth they lost them of both sides in my mouth and i could only found one until now#gave me mismatched color bands so i have black and red im not going to open my mouth until i go back loll#took 10 min to put my bands back and struggled so hard they were pacing back n forth and cursing shit motherfuck fuck damn instead 1 min#that part was amusing no matter how long it took them they kept asking if i was okay when i felt like i should be asking them that#my venting is out of order but the first dentist was so apologetic and kind joking with me and trying to calm down when I wasn't nervous#i couldn't stop smiling at their clumsiness but 2nd dentist was rough and wanted to speedrun me it hurt#ive been there for two hours i dont care if youre slow i just want it carefully#left there shaking and bleeding#not my worst experience ngl but doesnt make me feel less shitty#the place i go do not care about me for the almost past 2 years ive been there#my anger left im just being whiny now#flame vents#dentist
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good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder
#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess
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🥚 eggvidenced Follow
honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
date posted: june 23, 2010
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⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though
🧊 just--ice Follow
okay now they're just making lawyers up
#also didn't mvk die or something?
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🔥 triedbyfire Follow
why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder
🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow
so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit
🔥 triedbyfire Follow
are you gonna address the copaganda thing or
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🌻 attorneybout Follow
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he's so. 😳
📂 trialanderror Follow
why is he defending
📂 trialanderror Follow
OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???
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🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow
i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all
🥜 liberdeez Follow
op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.
🔐 wrightorwrong Follow
hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!
🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow
net 0 information post
#thanks again lawblr
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🍒 cherriescoola Follow
btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life
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🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow
December 28, 2016
YES!!!
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🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow
guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do
🔪 violencekilling Follow
you gotta let him rob you that's the law
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👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow
look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name
💼 courtofwaw Follow
bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late
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📋 lawandwhoreder Follow
guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited
#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore
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🐺 lawnewolf Follow
i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs
🌈 lawsbian Follow
the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)
🐺 lawnewolf Follow
YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.
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🔮 inhighspirits Follow
why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy
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💞 lawveyourself Follow
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seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree
💞 lawveyourself Follow
what do you mean evidence fraud
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🎧 instrumentalillness Follow
fuck you *unguilties your love*
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🎀 copiicat Follow
perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me
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HII okay so ik this is a bit of a weird request (or maybe im js rlly anxious rn for some reason??) BUT i was wondering if u could do like little head canons of Leo and a female reader who has like, a really deep country accent IYKWIM?? PLS N THANK U dont rush or anything js a small request🫶🫶
✮⋆˙ howdys, yeehaws, and cowgirls; leo valdez x western! daughter of apollo! reader blurb
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content: leo valdez x western! daughter of apollo! reader blurb warning: lanauage and stereotyping (?) of texans but it's okay yall will get over it author's note: as someone from rural california (yes ive been trying to gaslight you guys into thinking i live on the beach when really it's three hours away stfu) and literally just went to a school sanctioned line dance that is quite literally more anticipated than prom, i feel more than qualified to answer this prompt lmao. ive seen a pair of cowboys more than once everyday my whole life. for FUN kids i know raise pigs and cows and lambs and shit and then sell them off at fairs. also do not stress bby, this wasn't a weird request at all! in fact it was so good i made a whole blurb lmao. ALEXA play my childhood country playlist, thank you miss girl. 10 year old me knew good music when she heard it okay, stfu. OH AND PLAY COWBOY CARTER WHILE YOUR AT IT YALL COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE BEYOUNCE LEAVE MY GIRL ALONE FRFR you just dont wanna admit the albums good smh
to say leo missed texas, would be a lie. there was a deep ache in his chest to just go home. it was a strange feeling, considering he couldn't remember the last time he was in that state, as the foster system was eager to drag him all over the country. he missed the sticky and dry heat, he missed the longhorn cows that always seemed to be in the roads, and what he missed most of all was whattaburger. him and will mourned the loss of the beloved food chain weekly, if not daily. but, he only ever mentioned these feelings around will and simply in passing. he didn't think people would understand why he missed the state who's accent he tried his best to rid himself of.
which is why, when news spread of a new camper from texas, leo was buzzing to meet them. what was failed to be mentioned in the rumors, though, was the fact that you were a girl and also drop dead gorgeous. he was staring at you in a way that would have his mother smacking him upside the head, cursing him out in spanish. it took a bit for him to introduce himself, his nerves allowing his accent to slip through occationally.
"are ya from texas?" you asked, eagerly, your eyes brightening in a way that had leo's knees buckling. your voice, oh gods, your voice-
"yeah," he breathed out, bordering on a coo as you cheered.
"finally! and here i thought there were no cowboys left in new york," you teased, poking his chest with a finger before someone from the hermes cabin was calling you over. you flashed him a smile brigther than the sun on a hot texas day and scampered off, your cowgirl booties with bows clanking to the beat of leo's heart as you went.
from that day forwards, it was hard to see you without leo close by. finally, someone else to talk to about texas. sure, will was great, but he was a busy guy with all his medical stuff and boyfriend. and your voice left leo like a fly to honey. it was sexy and got him hot and heavy. but, it was also a comforting dialect that had him thinking of childhood, sweet tea, and sweltering heat.
and then you were claimed by apollo, only a few days after your arrival. i guess apollo has a thing for cowgirls, and leo couldn't relate to the god more if he tried. leo was slightly worried that you'd turn out just like will, locked up inside the infirmary, destined only to share passing comments of missing real texan barbeque. but, then you came up to leo during lunch, blushing as you admitted that you fainted when kayla pressed the scalpel into your hand. and leo laughed, and silently thanked his lucky lone star.
then the more musically talented apollo kids caught wind of the fact that you sang in your church's choir as a kid and nearly blew the whole camp up in excitement. something about wanting to do a country performance for camp but never having a lead singer with the accent as they'd rather jump into the sea of monsters in speedos then listen to will attempt to sing. naturally, you were more than happy to sing, excitedly telling leo about the country songs you were picking out, even letting him request a few of his childhood favorites.
and as you were prancing around on that slapdash stage with your siblings, singing proudly into a mic with your accent clear as day, leo fell a little bit more in love with you every note. and he fell back in love with texas, too, and everything it meant to him - everything he knew it meant to his mom. every twang of your voice and every playful tip of your cowboy hat had him thinking of how much his mother would have loved you or how he had wished the two of you could have met. nevertheless, he was laughing and singing along, front and center with will, there arms thrown around each other. they both wore barely thrown together western outfits, thought will had a hat, that despite leo's begging, he wouldn't give up.
at some point in the show, you were singing of coca cola and tight shirts, kneeling near the edge of the stage. leo was entranced as you locked eyes with him, just barely computing that you took your hat off and set it on his curls before jumping back up to your feet, singing about wanting to be wherever your boy was, throwing a wink to leo over your shoulder.
and gods, you were hotter than the blazing texas sun in the middle of summer, that much leo valdez was sure.
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shattersstar · 2 years
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bound
pairing: vampire x reader
summary: He supposed this was his true home, not the house he had kept himself locked in, but the wooden box with your picture in it. Dutifully kept under his pillow, bringing you to the land of dreams with him—if he could dream. It was a bitter punishment for the life he lived, the transgression—sin—he supposed would be held against the two of you. For how he wanted you more than anything, how he would tear whole cities to shreds at your behest and let the hunters who lurked in your town meet his fangs if you so desired. It was gluttony, to take eternal life and still want more.
warning: horror-ish elements, blood mention., religious undertones (aka general vampire themes/concepts)
a/n: i have so much to say about this lil piece of writing omg okay, i wrote this back in May i believe around the time i was reading we have always lived in the castle and it Shows. its lowkey fantasy which is not like anything i write but the horror-ish vibes r pretty consistent with my original stuff. it is heavily inspired by a lot of the vampire media ive consumed too though even if its not based on one particular character. i have been thinking about it since i wrote it and while im a bit ehhh about posting something original i quite literally have nothing else to share and as i said before y’all keeping i’d still eat the fruit in my notifs is so :)))) so this is a thank you to y’all and a Step back into writing for me hopefully. ramble aside enjoy ! feedback and comments r always appreciated
It had rained, no—poured, stormed, hailed, cried, screamed. It had swept in during the day, white noise to him as he slept, while it greeted you during breakfast. The clouds wept over the lands in what felt like divine punishment. It was as if nature or something higher than that was against him, accosting or trying to stop him. As he stood at the edge of the great forest, rain pelting the top of his head he assumed there was nothing greater than nature. Not even him. There was nothing higher nor more humbling. God could spite someone, but nature enacted it. It flooded your sleepy town and even sleepier forest and he was on the other side. Confined to his home until the storm cleared and the sun rose.
He would not be graced with your presence yet again and he tried to ignore the call to change you, to have his fangs pierce your skin and his blood run across your tongue. He gritted his teeth, reminding himself of the hurt it brought and he would never cause that for his love. His dearest who lived on the other side of the forest he was unable to cross. His icy glare moved along the border, not even noticing the rain drenching his billowing black cloak anymore. Somewhere in the forest a branch snapped and animals chattered.
He would live for eternity, he could wait for you. It was his resolution before heading back to his home in the woods and trying not to be angry, to let fury run through his long dead veins and restart his stilled heart. If anything—anyone—could, he knew it was you.
He followed the path compacted over the years of those travelling to stare at his home, humans daring each other to go near it, but never following through when the windows shuddered and a figure moved past one of them like a ghost. Times had changed, but people were as superstitious as ever. They saw his decayed and rotted home and prescribed evil to it. It was overrun with vines, leaves would not grow on them. Even in spring. They stayed black, and gnarled, tightening their hold in his house each season. Thorns protruding from some of the thicker vines, protecting him it seemed. You had noted that, staring at his wondrous home with bright eyes.
It was in a clearing in the forest, grey stone withered away and swallowed by nature. It still stood strong, the outside a grotesque picture that did not reflect the inside. Oil lamps and lighting fixtures alike lit the space from the inside out. It warmed the walls, revealing the deep brown wood panelling that made up the older parts of the house. The stairs were still the original wood, a grand staircase that greeted no one, but him and you these days.
Many of the rooms upstairs had been closed off, sheets gently placed over the old furniture and doors closed forever. He had no need for such space, other vampires stopped visiting when hunters started lingering in your town. You had told him of your many encounters, most were smart enough to stay out the forest, but they still killed many of his kind. Finding them in their carriages amongst the cars rolling down the freshly paved roads. Horses killed along with whoever dwelled inside. They saw themselves as vigilantes, but you had told him most of your town considered them a nuisance. Urban men thinking they can save the more rural lands that bordered their great cities. Cities that forgot the magic that once thrived in places like the forest.
“Their thinking of building a highway through it, connecting us to other towns or one of the bigger cities.” You had explained one day, sitting in his lap and letting him hold you. He hummed, long fingers curling into the fabric of your sweater. You placed your warm hand over his and leaned further into his chest. He asked you to let him hold you and you had obliged like always.
He kept those memories in mind, the soft questions he would extend your way and how you listened so dutifully. May I hold you? Will you lay with me? Come walk through the cellar? Can I drink your—
His fist slammed against his dinning room table, nearly snapping it in two as a crack ran jagged through the centre of the chestnut coloured wood. His fangs were out, nails morphed into claws dug into his skin and blood dripped into the crack. He stared at it, muscles in his face twitching as he waited for it to end. Waited for the creature in him to return to laying dormant and his own clear, sound mind to return. Though he supposed it was never very clear or sound anymore, not when you had burrowed inside of him and promised to never leave. And as if his thoughts beckoned you themselves, the old telephone in his study rang. It’s shrill scream echoed through the quiet house, though the ring was discordant, snapping in two halfway through its loop and screeching a pitch higher. The noise made his pointed ears twitch and with a swoop of his cloak he was in his study. He answered it on the normal ring, cutting it off right before it went off tone.
He held the phone to his ear, but waited to speak. “Hello?” You asked, your voice soft and worried. You’d never called him before—truthfully he had no idea this phone even worked.
“Hello my love.” He returned, and you breathed out a happy sigh.
“Oh my god, hi! I found this number in some old directory—phone book thing,” You explained with an airy giddiness that he wished to share, “I wasn’t sure if it was going to work, but…” You trailed off and he was smiling fondly into the receiver.
“I have missed you.”
“I miss you too, I hate this weather I can never get through the forest when its so rainy.”
“I know.”
“Maybe they should build a highway through it, I could hitchhike my way to see you.” You laughed, but he turned somber. Industrialization finally touching the sacred land of the forest didn’t sit right within him. It may be the great divider that kept him away from you, but it was his home. A highway felt like you were asking to be swept away, to a new town or bigger city that he could not adventure too. He could ask you to stay—he knew you’d oblige—but it was not his place to keep you here. “Is your phone one of those spin, dial ones?” You asked suddenly, breaking through the tension he hadn’t meant to create.
“A rotary phone?” He corrected with a ghost of a grin, “Yes it is.”
“I want to see it when I come over again.”
“And so you will.” It was quiet again and he hadn’t noticed the tears running down his face. He didn’t know he was able to cry anymore.
“I love you.” You whispered, holding your cellphone close, likely curled up in bed and staring out your window at the rain and the forest beyond it.
“I love you dearest.” His voice did not betray the sadness building in him. “Sleep beloved, I will see you soon.”
“Yes, I’m gonna come see you and your rotary phone.” You laughed, forced and watery.
“Soon.”
“Soon.” You repeated, and hung up. He kept the black phone, laced with intricate gold details, to his ear for a moment longer. He had heard your voice at least and could sleep. He moved through his home, snuffing out candles and flicking off switches before finding the one room without windows. A coffin laid on the floor, dark brown and glistening with the finish that had been applied centuries ago.
He supposed this was his true home, not the house he had kept himself locked in, but the wooden box with your picture in it. Dutifully kept under his pillow, bringing you to the land of dreams with him—if he could dream. It was a bitter punishment for the life he lived, the transgression—sin—he supposed would be held against the two of you. For how he wanted you more than anything, how he would tear whole cities to shreds at your behest and let the hunters who lurked in your town meet his fangs if you so desired.
It was gluttony, to take eternal life and still want more.
Though it was hard to think of such evil things when looking at your face, he had taken the photo while you were on the roof. Wind had wiped your clothes into a frenzy and you laughed as the night sky twinkled behind you. He had taken it and was surprised when you’d given it to him only a few days later. He had kept up with modern technology as well as he could, but there was always something so magical about photographs to him. He collected hundreds over his life time, faces he knew and others he didn’t. Organized neatly into a collection of books, which he’d let you look through on occasion. He showed you photos from the many lives he’s lived, something about them bringing warmth rushing to your face.
He was always so devastatingly beautiful, regal and hypnotic across all eras. Yet, he couldn’t focus on the kind words that bubbled from your lips as the rushing of the blood under your skin nearly shattered something inside of him. His fangs threatened to meet your skin, but with calculated focus he reigned in his hunger. It was hard at first—you were the only human he had been around in decades—but he did it for love.
Everything he did was for love, it was his reason for existence it seemed. You had other reasons for your claim to life, but to him? You were all he had, the only reason to not let the sun engulf him or let a hunter kill him. He could not break your heart until you broke his. He let that thought dwell in his mind as sleep overtook him just as the sun rose and the rain ended. Its incessant pitter patter had ceased and he somehow dreamt of you standing golden in the forest and beckoning him closer.
He woke up to your face—maybe it wasn’t a dream—as you crouched next to his coffin. Maybe he had finally died and you were welcoming him to where God decided to send him. If you were there it couldn’t be hell. Could it be?
“My love—“ Your hand pressed to his chest, keeping him still. “It’s still daytime, sleep okay?” You whispered, hand moving to his jaw and cradling his face in your palm for a moment. “I’ll be back in a sec okay, I just need to change.” He nodded against you, kissing your hand before you let him reside in darkness. He had caught a glimpse of your pants caked in mud and could smell the blood from your skinned palms. Despite the slick terrain it seemed you ventured through the forest to see him. It made his chest shudder and for a moment he thought you had actually restarted his heart.
It was only a few minutes later when you were carefully opening his coffin again, now dawning a loose fitting silk shirt that made his red eyes alight with something wild. You had cleaned your scrapes and mud off your skin, smelling faintly of rain water and the lavender soap you gifted him. You stepped over him, nestling against his side and letting him enclose the two of you. One of his arms wrapped around your shoulders as your head rested on his chest, knuckles grazing over your hair while you stretched an arm across his torso. Your legs intertwined with his long ones and you let out a breathy sigh.
“Are you hurt?” He asked, and while you likely couldn’t see as thing, he could see you perfectly. You shook your head no against his chest, yawning into the fabric of his shirt.
“I just wanted to see you.” You murmured, chin resting in his chest as you made hit best attempt at eye contact in the blackness. “I saw the dining room table, are you okay?” You asked, somehow staring through him in the darkness. He offered his hand instead of finding the words in his throat, slowly unravelling his fist to reveal a mark free palm. He wasn’t sure you understand what he meant or if your eyes adjusted enough yet, until you carefully closed it once again, kissing his knuckles and placed your hand over his. You both were silent for a moment, until you looked up at him again and breathed, “You’re all I want.”
“And you’re all I have.” He held you closer, watching a grin pull at the corner of your lips. He was sure it was that devotion, obsession even, with you that would bring about his downfall. Centuries old and all powerful, but reduced to nothing without you. His strength and knowledge meant nothing if he didn’t have you to share it with.
And you could not stand your stagnant life in a town full of people who wished his kind dead. You chose a trek through the forest during the twilight hours of the morning to see him, bringing him soft kisses and silk under his hands as you let your mouth meet his. You kissed him with all the exhaustion and lethargy wrapped up in the two of you, molasses slow kisses that were just as sweet. It was how you fell asleep, lips to his neck and head tucked under his chin before your warm breathed puffed across his pale skin. He fell asleep not long after, engulfing you in his embrace, his cloak draping over your frame as he decided home was where you asked him to be.
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ofsappho · 10 months
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Summertime Sadness (part 2)
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Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader
Second chance romance, heavy angst, hurt/very little comfort
Ten years ago: the first time you met Simon
Today: the first time Ghost meets you
Tags: mental illness, therapeutic boarding school, self harm, suicide attempt/suicidality, self harm, abuse, parental abandonment, much the same as last chapter. This fic is unedited because I don’t feel like editing it lol. If you see spelling/grammar issues, no you didn’t.
TEN YEARS AGO
Reader POV
-
It’s intake day.
Intake day happens once a week, always on Wednesday.
You don’t know why they pick Wednesday. It seems pretty arbitrary, doesn’t it?
On intake day, the nurses and counselors make all the current residents of the inpatient program line up to greet the newbies. You actually look forward to intake day. Everyone here is so boring and routine; your roommate never speaks unless spoken to and she always keeps her earbuds in. On intake day, the hope that someone nice will be admitted survives for the few hours of the intake itself.
It usually dies right after. There was one polite girl who smiled when you waved last week, but she was transferred to a different facility that night before you could learn her name.
You’ve been here for three weeks, so that’s three intake days.
You’re not sure why you’ve been here so long. It seems a little excessive; you’d think by now they’d realize your stuff isn’t so bad and maybe you could transition to outpatient appointments?
It’s a little dissociation and some minor depression. Not bad at all.
But your doctors agree, albeit gently, that you should stay for the full five month course.
The program isn’t so bad. The facility sits on a sprawling multi-acre property in the British countryside, where everything is beautiful and verdant and always chilly. It’s lovely. The tea is good. You’re getting used to how they take it here. It’s nothing like the sweet tea you drink back home.
You suppose that’s another reason why they won’t let you go home even though you’re okay; there isn’t a home to go back to. Your dad hasn’t looked you in the eye since Mom left. At least the orderlies here greet you in the morning.
(What Dad doesn’t know is that before she left, she told you she loved you and to wait for her. Soon, she’ll take you away from this place and you’ll never have to see your dad again.)
Before you head to the foyer, you check your hair in the mirror of your room’s suicide-proofed bathroom. A young teenage face stares back at you with cheeks flushed red from the sun. You trace your deep smile lines with the tip of your finger, then practice smiling. You would have feel better about moving to a therapeutic boarding school if you’d been greeted with a smile.
At first, you think the newest crop of poor souls will be uninteresting at best. Listless rich kids detoxing off Mommy’s coke, frightened preteens who’ve never been away from their parents for an extended period of time, and a few teenagers straight from an ER, IV bags and all.
And then you see him get off the bus last.
He’s tall, towering over everyone else. A lanky, almost skeletal build, with a bored, aloof expression on his face. He hides the Zippo lighter he was playing with in his sleeve before the nurses catch and confiscate it.
There’s something horrifically severe about him. He can’t be more than a couple of years older than you, but he carries himself like he’s a blade and the world is filled with monsters.
His eyes are large and dark, rich brown irises rimmed with pale blonde eyelashes. And they’re kind, even though he would probably hate having that pointed out.
You decide then and there that you’ll befriend him. He could use a friend; everyone here does. He’s beautiful in his sharpness and elegant in his abrasiveness. Maybe you can coax more of that hidden kindness out, show him that it’s worth more than his anger. You wouldn’t be able to stay away if you tried.
You both like playing with fire, though you prefer less literal ones.
-
TODAY
Ghost POV
-
Your smile fades swiftly as if it was never there to begin with.
There are two ghosts in this room. That’s what you are; a ghost of the girl he knew.
He watches and waits for you to shift uncomfortably and start blabbering to fill the silence like you used to. “Why’d you make them call me?” Ghost asks when it’s clear that you won’t.
As soon as you explain, he’s out of here. Ghost meant it when he said he never wanted to see you again.
You’re the last living reminder of the past he’s tried so hard to kill. The beeping sounds of your heart monitor spell out his mistakes in a grating, irritating rhythm.
Your answer disappoints his expectations. “I didn’t actually think you’d show.” Ghost doesn’t hear any wistfulness or longing in your voice, anything that would tell him that you’re clinging on to the boy you thought he was. Only a bone-dry and hollow statement of facts.
“What do you want?”
You ignore his question. At fifteen, you were good at that. At twenty-five, you’re better. “You got any cigarettes I could bum? You look like you still smoke them,” You say as you fiddle with your torn, bleeding nail beds with the classic anxiety of nicotine withdrawal.
He does that too when a mission stretches too long without a resupply and he finishes his cigarettes early to stave off hunger.
Ghost remembers fighting with you over the pack of smokes he smuggled into the program. He would hold it way above your head and laugh as you struggled to reach them. But you never gave up - they were bad for him, and you liked him too much to see him die of lung cancer.
He remembers the determination in your eyes and your unwavering faith that he could be saved.
“They’re bad for you,” Ghost echoes.
If you remember that moment, you don’t show it. “You know what else is fucking bad for you?” Your tone is so acerbic that it gives him whiplash.
He can’t resist taking a shot. “What, being a prick?” You just… bring out the worst in him. You make him feel as unhinged and unmoored as he was when you first met.
You roll your bloodshot eyes.
“I wasn’t going to call you out on that. I was going to say benzos and vodka. Also throwing yourself headfirst off a bridge.”
“Oh.”
What is he supposed to say to that?
“Why did you come?” You ask after a long moment of quiet interspersed by that fucking heart monitor.
Ghost grinds his teeth into each other as he reflects. He hates doing that; the inside of his skull is a bad place. “…I don’t know,” He admits. Coming here was a mistake; Ghost understands that now.
The foul taste on the back of his tongue is guilt. But why? You did this to yourself. You brought him here to play games and fuck him up, so why is he the one who feels… bad?
You sigh. “Simon-“
“Ghost. It’s Ghost now,” He cuts you off with more violence than necessary.
Your mouth settles into a tight, pained line. “Ghost. Go away.”
“But you called me here.”
That provokes a reaction.
Ghost sees it and immediately wishes it hadn’t.
You stare him straight in the eye, your dilated pupils peel back his mask and see the face underneath. Your skin is tinged gray and your bottom lip blooms red with blood from where you’ve bitten through it.
He wants back the child sobbing for his forgiveness on her knees, who looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky.
“And it was a mistake, and I should never have done it, and I just wanted the satisfaction of knowing you weren’t going to pick up the phone. That I was truly alone.”
So the memory of him is a knife you’re using on yourself. Fucking disturbing.
“Oh.”
You raise an eyebrow as you wave. “Bye.”
Right.
That’s it.
Though your dismissal rankles, Ghost does as you ordered and takes his leave of you.
His work phone vibrates a few times.
Only one person calls that it. “Captain,” Ghost greets.
Captain Price clears his throat on the other side of the line. “Lieutenant. When can we expect you back?”
‘Tomorrow’ is on the tip of Ghost’s tongue.
He’s never taken a day off in his career, which means he’s got at least a year or two in built up vacation time. “I’ll be gone for a while longer, sir. Not sure yet how long,” Ghost answers promptly.
It’s only for a few more days, a week at most. Long enough to make sure you won’t try to kill yourself again, long enough for the guilt freezing his blood and choking his lungs to fade.
“Alright, Lieutenant. Keep us posted.”
“Yes, sir.”
TAGGING: @devcica @igotmajordaddyissues @almightywdm @copiasratscheese @nerdyreaderpapi @schmelscorner
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braxlrose · 2 months
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I miss ur writings sm :(
I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long, I haven't posted any fan fiction in so many months and honestly I lost motivation 😭 so many ppl who were in this fandom and I created a community with, were slowly getting over this "phase" and it definitely affected me. But I'm going to try and get back into writing. I hope this will do good for now! Ive had a lot of ppl recently ask for 2005 bill hcs, and I've done that before so if this is repetitive for something else I've written, sorry!
content warnings: none
a/n: I'll be updating my tag list since it hasn't been updated since like August of last year and I don't want to be tagging people who don't care or want to see these posts anymore. So if you wanna be tagged, let me know!
2005!bill kaulitz x f!reader
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sfw:
- I'm an alternative person so whenever I write for bill, I always imagine him with an alternative girl 😞 even though from what I've seen he's never really been w/ an alternative one, BUT LETS PRETEND OKAY 🙏🙏
• he absolutely loves doing hair together, I think he enjoys helping you do your hair in the morning and your make up. And he's even more greatful if you do his makeup. Then he can just relax while you help him.
• pookie has crunchy ass hair at the end of the day when he has to wash it out, don't make fun of him 😞
• getting piercings together is something he LOVES doing with you. Mainly early piercings because he only has a tongue and eyebrow piercing on his face.
• if you made music too, he would always go to your concerts and basically scream the entire time. Hopefully, you'd do the same for him.
• if you have longer nails, head scratches are always a must and he will lay in your lap for literal hours while you pamper him.
- I personally think he would love to learn words in your language if you keep something different than German. And despite what anybody thinks, he finds it hilarious to learn the dirty words.
• if you cook him something from your culture, he will literally die. He basically thinks everything about you is so cool, and learning about a culture different from his is so exciting
• but if you two really want to date, you'll have to both try to learn English or each other language because there is going to be a hard language barrier between you two.
- I think one of the reasons he would've fallen in love with you is because you were upfront with him. He's not the type of guy to just go up and kiss someone so if you confess first, that would make things so much easier.
- obviously, you'd have to get along with Tom, Georg and Gustav. So if you don't, there's no way he'll go out with you, especially if you can't get along or hate Tom.
-Dates together consist of stuff you guys bought somewhere, or if you guys went to a fastfood restaurant.
• He doesn't have a lot of money yet so dates wouldn't exactly be high class, hopefully you don't mind 😉
-Since this is around the time Tokio Hotel is getting increasingly famous, there are fangirls around trying to flirt and ask out bill all the time and he has to shoo them off. He reminds you every night about how much he loves you and that those fan girls shouldn't bother you.
-he likes to spoon you a lot, and you two switch back n forth between him being the big spoon and the small spoon.
• I think he also really likes it when you lay on top of him, with your face in his neck and your legs wrapped around him. (This also works sitting upwards).
• cuddling with him is so nice too because he actually smells really good 😱
- I think he still gets very insecure sometimes because of the haters and people who harass the band because they don't like them and you reassure him a lot.
a/n pt 2: sorry this wasn't too long! I'm trying to get back into the groove of writing so if this is terrible I'm sorry 😞
taglist: none right now
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onlyjaeyun · 1 month
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i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.
you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.
the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?
idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.
thank you for the feedback!
i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?
now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright
on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense
now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.
and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.
yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨
if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.
as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"
i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine
do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this
if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr
oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)
and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters
goodbye
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meruz · 7 months
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Lightbox Expo 2023 is over!! Thank you to everyone who stopped by the table. I can't believe I sold out of both my sketchbooks AND my digimon fanbook... (multiple prints too?!)! I'm incredibly grateful... I will have a 2nd print run of both sketchbooks and online orders for the digimon book up in the next couple weeks so please keep an eye out for that!
More gushing abt the weekend under the cut
I sell at an average of idk... 3-4 events a year? So I would consider myself a frequent congoer though not necessarily full time lol. I'm a little jaded like it's not that I don't enjoy going to cons but theres definitely a bunch that feel like just-another-con-weekend to me lol, sometimes it's more work than play I guess. But this con felt really different! For the first time in a while I left a convention feeling really thrilled and giddy that I had been there. The kind of feeling I used to get when I would table at anime cons in highschool! And I think a lot of that is the people I met and talked to and the overall vibes at the event. Oh also I literally just had surgery and going to this con is like the only thing ive done this week besides lay in bed and play Story of Seasons on the nintendo switch and I thought I would be in pain and miserable but actually I HAD SO MUCH FUN...!!!! even when i skipped after-hours socializing every night to go home early and sleep 12 hours lol. SO ANYWAYS. YEAH. IT'S CORNY. BUT I wanna say thank you again to everyone who stopped by the table. Especially all the coworkers and long time mutuals who I met in person for the first time this weekend!! And the long time followers who told me they have been following me since homestuck or naruto or whenever. And college classmates who I haven't seen since graduation, crazy talented underclassmen who I'd never met but stopped by to say hi... So many people who absolutely made my day. SPECIAL thank you to my table partner Emi who is the best and such a good sport and accommodating to the point that I feel ridiculous when she thanks me for anything. And um also thank you to the artists who were cool and nice when I went up to their tables and blurted out 24917596 compliments in rapid succession. or only got one really awkward compliment out to LMAO... I felt so inspired and awe struck by everyone's work! God it was just so cool to be there. I LOVE ART....
Ok yeah thats it. its been a while since ive written a post-con blog post so earnestly lol.. here's my obscene haul photo I was buying stuff at this con like I was dying and couldn't take it with me LMAO.
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I'm not gonna go tag everyone because I don't think everyones on tumblr but if you dont mind doing a little google search legwork: big x-men prints from chase conley, prints from jacki li/bguavas, azusa tojo, xanthe bouma, nicodaboy, susan yung, hormstuck, nessa tweneboah, linda liu, ash tahilan, zines also from jason dwyer, ash tahilan, aprilyn cunanan, veggiecakeface, deb lee, dune5and, uhh yoichi nishikawa art book and parakid calendar, stickers again from ash, marie lum, hormstuck, chiou, and emi hartana/crowlets OKAY I THINK I COVERED EVERYTHING THANKS FOR READING
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Alright, I took a quick nap and Ive decided that I wanna get the UTM reenactment over with as quickly as possible so Im reading chapter 42 and then I'll reward myself with some pain au chocolats and not thinking about this book for the rest of the day and watching the 2002 takarazuka flower troupe production of elisabeth instead. lets go
Chapter 42
here we fucking go with the illyrian wingspan-dicksize correlation, how would Amren even know that isnt she above sex or something. Honestly, I think Cassian would know wayyyyy more about that. on account of all the gay sex hes having i mean. I thought of that joke and then I realized that you could interpret it to mean that he knows about that because hes illyrian and has a dick, but I want to make it very clear that this is a gay sex joke
how come wings are so sensitive that just barely stroking them makes you moan and shudder but you can still fly with them in harsh winds with no issue. My headcanon is that wings arent actually that sensitive, Rhysand and Cassian are just weirdos with a specific kink
This conversation Feyre and Rhys are having about his wings is so weird, its like dirty and yet uncomfortably clinical
oh Rhysand is quicker than death just fucking kill me, im getting so angry again
Syphons are called 'Trichtersteine' ['funnel stones' or 'funnel gems'] in german which is more accurate to how we're actually told they work imo but it sounds pretty lame
Is it just me or is Rhysand being kinda weirdly paranoid rn. I mean granted, they did just get attacked with ash arrows so maybe hes actually doing a good job for once and Im just biased against him
Okay so we finally get some night court fae wearing white, but of course its not for moon symbolism its so they can blend in with the rock of the mountain because this series does nothing but disappoint me
The Hewn City actually sounds really cool, why couldnt this have been the secret city where we spend most of our time, you couldve made it a whole thing about Feyre healing from her trauma UTM through like, exposure therapy or something idk. That wouldve been neat and dramatic, her healing from her UTM trauma in the place that inspired it with the person that inflicted it. I mean, maybe that would be less healthy and even more controversial than Feysand already is but then you could atleast lean into the dark romance of it
I mightve said this already but you knowwww sjm is NOT a painter and consulted ZERO painters because Ive never heard of anyone think about creating art the way feyre does
and Mor is wearing red AGAIN why would you make this a trigger for Feyre just go back and edit it out its not like it matters
God, the description of her outfit is so deeply discomfortingl like it literally is exactly what she wore while she was being drugged assaulted but atleast they left the bodypaint out this time
"[Keir] looked at my face, then my body. I had thought that he would stare and drool greedily but... there was nothing. No emotion. Just ice cold. Shaking internally, - from anger and revulsion - I followed Mor." Im sorry, is she mad that Keir doesnt find her hot????
Theres something uncomfortable about Feyre referring to Rhysand as 'Mor's Lord' especially when we just had a whole paragraph describing her as a proud and empowered queen
"Usually, one Syphon was enough for an Illyrian to to able to steer his urge to kill down the right path." what???
Now shes describing Azriel as dark and beautiful as death and oughhhhhh i knoww im the only who cares about this and its for a pretty stupid reason but I care a lot and it makes me very angry
Feyre referring to a 19 year old Mor as 'barely more than a child' is weirdddddd
of COURSE hes wearing a black tunic for this, I cant believe this is the guy that the fandom has designated the fashion lover when he has two (2) outfits
Feyre describing Rhysand as sooooo powerful and beautiful with a face of nightmares and dreams makes me want to vomit, but more importantly, it makes me yearn to rewatch the 1996 takarazuka star troupe production of Elisabeth with Asaji Saki as Death who unirionically fits all of Feyres descriptors 1000 times better
Not Rhysand using Feyres Cursebreaker title while hes thoroughly humiliating her
Now Feyre is calling him a god, bro youre not gonna be able to have sex if you jack him off this hard hes gonna be all sore
Imagine being a hewn city noble and you all get together because your high lord wants something from you and youre kinda scared because hes the worst, and then you just have to watch him finger some random lady. and you cant leave because then he'll just kill you
I dont like that this is framed as empowering to Feyre, i think its one thing to write a female character who sexualises herself in order to empower herself but the fact that Feyre is doing this at the behest of Rhys automatically renders it non-empowering to me. Like yeah, she obviously consented to this but it wasnt her idea but this was not her idea and this is not something she usually does, the only times shes been sexualized like this is because it was part of some plan that Rhysand came up with
"[Keir] apparently clung to the power. But Rhys was the power." i hate that that sentence made me think of Keir/Rhysand as a ship why am I so goddamn yaoi-brained. And yeah, i know theyre related but according to Rhys himself, he and Mor are only cousins in the most distant sense, so. Man, that would make the IC dynamics so much more fucked up but also so much funnier
Theyre trying so hard to make this hot n sexy but its just so unappealing and dragged out. Granted, sorry if this is TMI, but I did just jerk off so Im all out of horniness for the next little while so maybe I just dont like this because Im not in the mood but idk. theres something so annoying about this, i think its how over-the-top and artificial Rhysands hotness feels, not to mention the fact that he is absolutely not my type
Imagine being Keir rn, just trying to do your job and tell your high lord everything that he needs to know, meanwhile his high lord is sitting in front of him fondling his new sex slave and you just have to keep a straight face. i mean, he sucks ass so i guess he deserves it but man
Presented to you with no further comment: "My breasts became heavy and full, longing, desiring, just like my crotch."
goddamnit, Rhysand just said that he put Feyre on his leash and then Keir made a kinda slutshame-y remark about her clothes and then I thought Rhys was like "maybe I'll put you on a leash too" but it was Feyre who said that. another loss for big gay incest
"He liked this as little as I did" uhhhhh no offense girlie but you actually seem to be having a pretty great time rn
I dont even know what to say about this part where Feyre is like, detaching herself from her thoughts that are calling her a traitor a liar and a whore ?? I think thats whats happening here?? Like, its trying so hard to be sexy but its invoking the imagery of Feyre's (and even Rhysand's) trauma and its just very strange
It took Rhys a fucking eternity to actually touch her pussy
What if Keir developed a voyerism kink because of this. would that be fucked up or what
Its so weird how Feyre thinks about how maybe Rhysand doesnt like sex or being desirable anymore because of amarantha and that certainly sounds like a trauma response he should have but instead it just never matters
"I had been tortured and tormented but my pain was nothing compared to his." YOU DIED
Oh man I cant believe I completely forgot about the absolutely iconic part where Rhysand gets so mad Keir for calling the woman he introduced as a whore a whore that he telepathically breaks his hand about it
what was the point of doing that, Feyre didnt even seem to like it that much
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kaleldobrev · 11 months
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Pizza, Beer & Zeppelin IV
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Gn!Reader
Summary: Dean is surprised to find out what your ideal first date is; and he’s more than happy to oblige
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: Some cursing, Talks of Sex (Not explicit in the slightest) 
Authors Note: This is inspired by a quote Jo Harvelle said to Dean in Everybody Loves a Clown from Season 2: “Most hunters come through that door think they can get in my pants with some pizza, a six pack, and side one of Zeppelin IV.” | The writing of this is in a little bit of a different style than some of my previous work. But I hope it came out okay! Let me know what you all think | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡
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Although you and Dean have been together for the last couple of years, the two of you never had a proper first date. The way the two of you first started dating started out as a traditional friends with benefits story, but without the “starting out as a friends” part.
The two of you had met at a local bar in Lebanon, your date was over an hour late, already drowning your sorrows with shot after shot of tequila. That night, you were ready to make some bad decisions to make yourself feel better.
That is when you eyed Dean Campbell and quickly started chatting him up. He was on his third beer; not nearly as intoxicated as you were, but was humoring you as you gave him cheesy pick-up lines and telling him horror stories about your job. A couple hours later, the two of you made your way in the back of his car, hungerly kissing each other all over, leading to uncomfortable yet satisfying car sex. You never did reach out to your date to reschedule.
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A week later, you had spotted him at the bar again, you weren’t as drunk as you previously had been your first meeting. He remembered you, and you were surprised. He asked you if he had left any bruises on you from the week before, and asked if you had anymore horror stories about your job. “I’ll tell you more if you tell me some.” You said.
He chuckled before taking a sip of beer. “You don’t wanna know my stories Sweetheart.” He replied.
That night you slept with him again; this time at your place and not in the backseat of his impala. The next morning the two of you exchanged numbers. “Last name’s really Winchester.” He told you.
“What?” You asked.
“My last name. It’s Winchester, not Campbell.” He said.
“Winchester sounds more fitting.” You gave him a smile.
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After exchanging numbers, the two of you never met up at the bar again; always meeting up at your place. You called him, or he called you; sometimes he would just show up at your door with a six pack and some take-out. The sex was great every single time; but it changed as time went on. What had started out as needy, rough, and quick, became slow, gentle, almost loving; not that you minded.
Sometimes when he would come over, the two of you wouldn’t even have sex. You would just hang out on the couch, share a kiss or two, and cuddle. You had even caught him a few times falling asleep as you scratched the back of his head as he rested his head on your shoulder. You liked that he felt comfortable enough to sleep.
The two of you never made anything official, but between the consistency of the sex the two of you would have, mixed with doing “couple things” like him offering to run errands with you, or hanging out at your place to watch a movie, it started to form into something more than just a friends with benefits situation; it started to become a committed relationship.
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Slowly, over time, Dean began to open up to you. Open up about all the things he’s done over the years and who he really was. He had told you what his real job was – he was a hunter, someone that killed things people didn’t think were real but actually were. Like vampires, werewolves, ghosts, and ghouls. “I’ve killed them all,” he told you. He told you how he saved the world more than once, how he’s been to Hell and back (literally and figuratively), how he’s gone to Heaven, and even spent a year in Purgatory. “Did you know I killed Hitler once?” His proudest achievement. He’s done things you would have never thought about doing in your dizziest daydreams.
When Dean first told you these things, he expected you to run. Expected you to call the police or call him insane. You weren’t a hunter; he didn’t expect you to believe him. But to his surprise you said, “I believe you” and kissed him. That was your way of telling him that you loved him.
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After years of being together the two of you never had a proper first date, but that was something Dean had wanted to for you. Taking out his phone he scrolled until he got to your name and pressed enter. The ringing felt like it had been going on for ages, he always felt nervous talking to you. “Hello my love.” You responded. His lips curved into a smile. He loved when you called him that.
“Hey there Sweetheart. I gotta question for you.” He said, leaning back a bit in his chair.
“Shoot.” You responded.
“I was wondering, would you like to go on a proper first date with me?” He felt like a stupid high schooler asking out his crush.
“A proper first date uh?” You never thought you’d see the day. “What are we going to do on this date?”
“I was hoping you’d tell me. I want you to pick.” He had a million ideas but thought that it would be more special if you picked what the two of you did.
“You’re the one asking me out but I’m the one that has to come up with the date idea? Hmm, I don’t know about that.” You said, hoping your joking tone came through.
“What’s your ideal first date Sweetheart? We can do anything you want.”
“You’re gonna laugh at me.” Your idea of a first date was something no one ever wanted to do.
“Y/N, I’d never laugh at you. Well, I would, and I have. But, not about something as serious as this.” You could hear his smile through the phone. He really was serious about this.
You took a deep breath. “Well. I know this might sound stupid but…I’ve always wanted to eat some pizza with a six pack while listening to side one of Zeppelin four.” Fuck you’re perfect, Dean thought. You waited for Dean to say something, anything, but he didn’t respond. You took his silence for judgement, but in reality, he was just amazed, amazed that this was your ideal first date. “See, I told you it’s stupid.”
“No, no. It’s not stupid at all. It’s…perfect actually. That’s my ideal first date too.” Dean said, being completely serious. He hoped that you didn’t think he was fucking with you. But knowing you, you probably would.
“You’re fucking with me aren’t you?” You respond.
“No Y/N, I swear. You can even ask Sam.” He paused a moment. “I’d, I’d love to do that with you. You and me can take Baby to the park that’s about five minutes away from your house. Sit on the trunk with a cold six pack and large extra cheese pizza between us. The windows rolled down with Zeppelin coming out the speakers.”
“That sounds perfect.” You said. It was a simple sound date, but it was something you’ve always strangely wanted to do; not really fully knowing why, even before you had met Dean. Your previous suitors never wanted to do this date idea, saying that it was too boring, or telling you that Zeppelin was overrated.
“How’s tonight at eight sound?” He asked.
“Eight can’t come soon enough.” You said. This was going to be a long seven hours. You thought.
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officialgleamstar · 7 months
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okay, here's a long post talking about my thoughts on dungeons and daddies, s2ep45, hell or high father. obvious spoiler warning, im gonna be talking about the events of the episode, but this is going to be more outside the fourth wall focused/thinking about what the pacing says about the narrative, rather than actually talking about what happened in this episode!! also ive only listened to the episode once so if i missed anything, feel free to say so
to start immediately: i loved this episode, but i was also disappointed that ron, terry, and scary didn't get a full episode. but i was thinking about why that would be the case, and that lead me to the two reasons im speculating:
Beth felt that Scary's arc didn't necessitate a big ending and that it came to a clean closing with that scene
This episode shows the narrative divide between the Stampler family and the Close family
the first reason is mostly a timing thing. they included taylor in this episode as well because scary's conclusion didn't need the full run time, or maybe even lincoln's episode was longer than they wanted it to be and scary was supposed to be in that arc as well. the pacing was just a result of the past few episodes: scary has already confronted that she regrets how she treated terry, we've seen that a million times. ever since his death, she's confronted that fact again and again, and i think it makes sense that this episode would resolve that in a much quieter way than it could've. the stamplers have always been the family to resolve things 'the right way' - they show up for each other, they love each other unconditionally, they finish their arcs by holding one another in forgiveness. even if i wouldve loved a longer memory (though holy shit, WE SAW THE BETRAYAL ON SCREEN-- sorry not the point of this post), and i really hope we get some more with them in upcoming episodes, i did like how it was so sweetly resolved!!
and that sweetness leads into the bulk of my thoughts here: scary and taylor shared an episode because of how differently their memories went.
as soon as nicky went "i have a memory you weren't around for", i knew we were in for a fucking ROLLERCOASTER, and holy shit. the entire played out montage of glenn failing to be there for nicky, failing to be there for taylor, and in turn, taylor finally tells nicky to his face that he wasn't there for taylor either. taylor's fixation on the idea of redoing it all with time travel, because there is no other way, in his mind, to solve the rift in their relationship. "there's no fixing this." there's too much baggage, there's too much thats already been fucked up, and theres no way for them to come back from that. nicky is a grown adult. taylor is already in his teen years. they can form a relationship with their dad now, but no matter how well that goes, its never going to fix the childhood behind them that was already ruined. they do love each other, they're friends, but being friends doesnt equal a true good relationship. being friends doesnt mean you succeeded in parenting.
and now we contrast that with the stamplers. both terry junior and scary go into their relationship with their stepdads seeing him as an inferior replacement, as someone who could never truly be their dad. terry junior loved his biological dad, is literally named after him. scary's dad was so absent in her life that she doesnt know how to handle someone actually being there. they both refuse to take the replacement, until eventually, they learn that their stepdad's strength is that hes a new man. not a replacement, but his own full person, a person who loves them. ron put his life on the line for terry, time and time again, because he didnt want to be his own dad. terry showed up to all of scarys soccer matches, even when she refused to even acknowledge him, because he didnt want to be her bio dad. "you showed up." even though terry's memory is literally him using ron, it ends with ron forgiving him without a second thought. when scary apologizes to terry, terry takes her into his arms with a moment's hesitation.
the stamplers have a happy ending because even with how badly they've fucked up, they always showed up for their kids. the closes don't have a happy ending because they weren't in their kids' lives and they think being friends now fixes that. and that's why scary and taylor shared their episode, really. because it drives home the crucial difference between the two families
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cafecourage · 2 months
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Idk if requests are open; if they're not, please feel free to ignore this!!!
Okay so uh, I know that the post I'm gonna reference is more than a year old, but I just discovered your blog and I went on a binge and, well...
The Dragon Au Part 2? The one with Sky (along with the other boys, but I'm focusing on Sky)? Where you said that Sky would probably never tell his S/O about him being a dragon despite the trust he has in his S/O?
It's just...so sad! 😭 So, if I may, could I request a fic where Reader (who is, or wants to be, Sky's S/O) finds out that Sky's a dragon?
Maybe he accidentally shifted during battle, or maybe one of the other Links accidentally let slip that all of the Chain (and, therefore, Sky) are dragons? I'm not quite sure about how Reader would find out, but they do; cue them crying to another Link (probably Time, bc he's The Dad™) or even Sun, and Reader admits that they feel like they're a terrible person bc surely they did something to make Sky not trust them, right...? And Reader asks for advice on what they can do to make up for whatever Bad Thing they did, and how to be a better friend to Sky, etc. etc.
I don't like angst if it doesn't have a happy ending, so idk how to end it on a happy note; maybe Sky talks to Reader about it all & they "kiss & make up" (either figuratively or literally lol)?
(Again, feel free to ignore this if requests aren't open!!!)
IVE BEEN WANTING TO WRITE THIS EVER SINCE I TOLD PINKY ABOUT IT.
Typically you were stay away from battles if anything you were learning how to fight. In this battle though your back was towards a cliff and the monsters were blocking your way into the forest which is where you normally hide. Well… This was a particularly bad situation to be in. You duck and tried to weave through but each time you tried to you almost get hit. Luckily Sky was staying by your side for a bit to fight the monsters off. Though the chain was truly outnumbered.
Not to be a downer but you think they might need a miracle.
Then it happened.
A Lizalfos got a fairly lucky shot at you right in the shoulder. The impact knocked you back off your feet and stumble back.
Right.
Off.
The cliff.
It was weird. You didn’t scream. But something did. It was loud and it felt like the air was full of electricity. In a blink of an eye a black plop swooped down heading towards you. When the blur finally crashes into you whatever it was brought you into its arms and pulled up. “Keep your eyes close.” You hear Sky whisper in your ear, you didn’t even know that your eyes had been closed the whole time. It’s not like you’re going to open them now. Especially with a warning like that.
There was a lot of screaming not just from the boys but monsters as well. A few crashes of lightning made you flinch and hold onto Sky tighter. Slowly your curiosity had peaked and you open your eyes and glanced up at Sky.
Sky who was typically the softest person in the world looked monstrous. His eyes were sharper more snake like and Night Sky-esque scales framed his features. Giving his once soft face a fiercer look to it. It could also be the death glare he had on his face. Behind him were two bat like wings and long serpents tail that matched his scales. It would have been breathtaking if you weren’t loosing blood.
Your glaze was met with his now electric blue eyes, “put me down?” You asked as you had to force yourself to look at the others but as soon as you moved the arrow that was lodged into your shoulder made its move. A curses leave your mouth as you slump back in his arms.
Sky was about to speak but Hyrule beat him, “We should find and get camp set up. For now Let me see what I can do.” The team’s medic was in charge now as the battle had been over for a bit now. “Rancher, Champion can you scout out a better, safer place?” He leads Sky with you in his arms to be seated. When settled with you in Sky’s lap and Hyrule helping you through the process of being stitched up.
You had so many questions to ask but you honestly doubt you would get answers too. “I have a question.”
“Yes Darling?” Sky’s voice was a bit more gravely than normal.
“Are you guys…” You had not idea what to say about this situation as you would assume dragons.
“Yes.” Time said before you could find the words.
A beat passes you look up at the token father, “all-“
“All of us yes.”
“Ok…” You lean into Sky’s chest. Before something bothers you again, looking up at Time again you go to ask him something.
He just sighs “yes. I’ll explain later about how our magic work. Just focus on healing.”
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space-owl · 1 year
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Okay time to finally talk about the boiling isles/The Titan/Kings Dad!
And why I love him and hes been a character of the show the whole time.
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We first really "meet" the titan when Eda shows us the beauty of the boiling isles at the start of the show
Just a dead carcass, right? Thats how it seems at first but over the show we learn that the titan is magic! That the magic around Luz comes from the Titan! Now here is where the Titans character first really shines. He gives Luz the spell! And literally gives her a clue to make the connection!
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Now we think that this just happened randomly because she really listened to the nature. But since we now know that the Titan was actually there, seeing and listening to everything, this was a choice he made! Notice how Luz saw the light glyph in the sky after she spoke directly to the Titan.
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Luz: "youre supposed to teach me magic...."
And afterwards it starts to snow, revealing the glyph to Luz!
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Afterwards in more episodes, and especially in season two we learn that the habitants of the boiling islands worship the titan. The question of course is if they always did this in the first place or if Philip was the one who convinced them that the titan is some sort of god. I think they always kind of worshipped the titan since it was important for Philip to earn the islanders trust and so he used an already established deity that was wroshipped by the witches.
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Witch on screen: "he says he can talk to the Titan!"
Witches on the island constantly refer to the Titan like we do refer to god when we express worry or doubt or if we just wonder what is going on. ("Oh my Titan" "For Titans sake" "In the Titans name" etc)
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And those graffiti. Sure they were most likely added to be jokes. But those jokes only work because it is established before that the witches of the islands see the Titan as a god!
Also see how Eda and Lilith react when they find out King is a titan!
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Lilith: "I cant believe that all this time you had a titan under your roof! - GASP - Ive eaten ice cream with a god!"
The Titan didnt choose to be worshipped. But he chose to tell Luz the glyphs and how and where to find them. And he chose to not tell Philip about them!
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Philip: "Took years to find them. Almost as if the world wanted to hide them from me."
Another instance that showed or hinted at that the Titan was still there, alive and watching out for King was when the wind gently brushed the swing he was sitting on in "Clouds on the horizons"
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And - of course - something that got kinda overlooked by all of us, the GIGANT still beating heart in the throne room!
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But we also learn that Titans themselves were crazy powerful. So powerful that they were the only ones who were strong enough against the collectors powers! Their blood is literally the cause of Luz being able to cast magic in the first place! Because of them and well because of the boiling isles Titan things from the human world wash up there constantly. Because they create those rifts.
So what did we learn? We learnt that the Titan is a big being that was crazy powerful and was worshipped by the witches on the boling isles. We also learnt that he has sort of a character of his own and may or may not be still around.
And THEN..... we actually meet the guy!
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Basically in his pyjamas, what he is wearing is also basically merch from the show. The "bad girl coven" shirt and the glyph sweatpants. Thats something any nerd from the show would want to wear. He has a dad bod and the first thing he does is making a joke to Luz about himself. Yes he is wise and does give Luz a lot of advice and her crazy powers, showing that he is very powerful even when he is trapped in the inbetween. But he never considers himself better than Luz or anyone else on the isles. He is very down to earth!
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Also the reveal that they dont take gender that serious but is totally fine with the title "dad" cuz thats what King has been calling him the whole time. All while he chuckles!
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The Titan: "What? Have you been drinking Edas home brewed apple blood?"
When Luz presents them the idea that she "might just be as bad as Belos" he immediately asks her if shes serious about that in a joking manner.
And, of course, the cherry on top for all of this, is the one direct message they could send to their child. The only thing The Titan could EVER tell directly to King! And what is it?
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King: "... I loaf you...? I loaf you!"
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King: "... Oh hahaha! BREAD pun!"
Its a DAD joke! And King loves it!
I think none of us really knew who the Titan was and if hed ever show up ever on screen. (Honestly I myself thought its more likely that we would see Evylin and Caleb.) But whatever our idea from the Titan mightve been, Im sure no one of us thought it would be like this. The Titan turned out to be just some guy. Just a being that happend to slip into all of this mess. I think we can all learn from that that some things arent as big as they seem (literally.)
This reveal was awesome and I love that the show took this route with him.
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dirtyeddietini · 1 year
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fics that have altered my brain chemistry (eddies/joe qs version)
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okay so ive been in an adhd brain rot?? where im just fucking HORRIBLE at reblogging fics that i enjoy and honestly it was my whole reasoning behind making this blog FOR GIVING WRITERS THE LOVE THEY DESERVE i just wanted to give a shoutout to these writers (and stories) they’ve made that just fucking messed with my brain (and in a good way okay??) over these last few months. please check them out and give them all the fucking love they deserve
like a poem (FINISHED series, but sometimes if you ask nice enough she will throw a blurb in there) - im so very fucking biased because i love her to the moon and back, but she writes the best fucking stories of joe that will keep you up all night having you rethinking all of your life choices. IT WAS VERY HARD FOR ME to pick out a story that i wanted to highlight in this post, but the whole reason i fell in love with her writing was because of bookstore!joe and he will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart. love you boo
plot: “Joe finds solace in a quaint bookstore, your bookstore, from a hectic situation in the streets. But, you’re closed. But then also, it’s Joseph Quinn.“ from the authors page
echoes (FINISHED, series) - again im so very fucking biased because she is the sweetest person you will have the pleasure of knowing BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT - she writes so fucking beautifully she will literally have you CRY and this will forever and always be my favourite fic of hers. she deserves all the love she gets, and then even more so read it!!!! (she will make you cry its not on me tho)
plot: “When she laid her emotions out for her best friend, the last thing she expected was for him to turn around, walk away and never speak to her again. Years after, they meet again - different people, different feelings. Or are they?” from the authors page
the hideout (FINISHED, oneshot)- this was one of the first fics i read and fell in love with. it was in that timeperiod where all i could do 24/7 was read eddie munson fanfics and this was one of those fics where i went “holy SHIT??” and honestly i dont think there will ever be a time where this isnt just some % on my mind??
plot: “Eddie Munson made it big. Now, when he returns to Hawkins for a hometown concert with his band, he is reminded of the girl he’s been in love with for the past 6 years when Steve Harrington calls.” from the authors page
vintage reeboks (FINISHED) - this is one of those fics where you’re like???? holy shit i wish i’d come up with that?? i remember reading all of this in one day (summertime, sweating very fucking much) and its just?? holy shit its perfect?? the way eddie is in this??? and its something i could never think of would be this perfect?? i swear i think of this fic at least once a day??
plot: “The gate at the bottom of Lover’s Lake was meant to spit the quartet out in the Upside Down. Steve, Nancy, and Robin were meant to be there. He wasn’t meant to be alone. But when Eddie comes to on the shoreline, you’re there. It’s not the Upside Down. It’s not Lover’s Lake. It’s not 1986.” from the authors page
twenty four hours (STILL GOING) - the way this has me in a chokehold?? im a fucking sucker for when fics have a nice layout??? and this is just so pretty to look at?? like whenever i see its been updated my whole body is SHAKING?? i dont even know what to say?? this is just so amazing and the whole?? will they wont they?? i love them?? i want them both to fight with me all night long??? i CANNOT wait to see where this ends
plot: “in which eddie munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty four hours consecutively together?” from the authors page
to know you’re mine (FINISHED) - i saw someone talk about this in the “eddie munson x reader” tag, and DEVOURED the chapters that were up in one whole day?? the way eddie is so fucking soft and nice and the best fucking gentleman in this?? and also?? the relationship to steve in this is amazing??? but THE RELATIONSHIP TO EDDIE IS EVEN MORE AMAZING?? such a fucking fantastic author please go EAT all the chapters right now
plot: “You know the rules. You'd been there when your boyfriend, Steve Harrington, discussed them with the others. There are only two.Number one: Only play when everyone's together. Number two: No finishing inside each other's girls.You'd agreed to these rules, same as Chrissy. Same as Eddie.But then there's rule number three, and though it remains unspoken, it's by far the most important. And you have that feeling again, like when you propped yourself up against the barstool, straining to see him on that stage, craning for a glimpse as his husky voice reached inside you. Now, his dark eyes are doing the same thing: pulling at something buried deep, tugging it into the light where it can't be hidden. And, sure, of course, you didn't intend this. But what are intentions in the face of such things? Needless to say, every rule gets broken.” from the authors page
the customer’s always right (STILL GOING) - hehhehe im a hoe for cutie virgin eddie??? but they way she always manages to capture eddie in her fics?? fucking amazing??? and her writing??? yes PLEASE so do yourself a favor on this fine friday AND READ THIS AMAZING FUCKING SERIES because eddie will make you fall in love in this???
plot: “eddie munson is a virgin and doesn’t want anyone to know (because being an adult who’s never fucked anyone is a total reputation ruiner). but you, his favorite customer, are more than willing to change that.” from the authors page
sincerely yours... (STILL GOING) - like i’ve told her before - her eddie is fucking amazing and so very much to the point!! im so excited for this one and cannot WAIT to see where eddies teasing will make him end up!! the last fucking part of this??? amazing
plot: "Untouchable, is what he called you. Dating Jason, the captain of the basketball tea, most would call you the same. Living your holier than thour life, something else he said, you can’t seem to swallow the need to prove him wrong” from the authors page
burn one (FINISHED) - this is just the perfect fucking combination of smutty and sweet??? like this is just how i imagine eddie and this is so fucking sweet and perfect?? had me thinking about this for WEEKS UGH
plot: "When you move to Hawkins to start over, your new unexpected friendship with your weed dealer next door is your saving grace. It was never your intention to fall in love with him though.” from the authors page
Disjointed (STILL GOING) - this fic has me feeling ALL the feels in all the chapters?? makes me GIGGLE, makes me CRY!!!, i’m in love with all the chapters and i CANNOT WAIT to see them live happily every after
also now that i’ve finished, i’ve just realised this is a lovepoem to my favourite authors on this app heheheh im sorry but i DO love you guys. please do go and read their stories, and send them all the fucking love in the world!! they do have so many amazing stories on their masterlist you will not be able to sleep tonight!!!
authors mentioned in this post THAT YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT!!: @icallhimjoey @ghostinthebackofyourhead​ @inknopewetrust @storiesbyrhi​ @ghost-proofbaby​ @blue-mossbird @lovebugism​ @plumxwrites​ @loveshotzz​ @boomhauer
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