#i could really use a talk with my mom abt this but i dont wanna force a subject on her especially if its something i know she cant talk abt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

teruthecreator · 2 years

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man i shouldve never told anyone i was planning on quitting i shouldve just done it and told everyone afterwards bc now im like contractually obligated to call my mom every morning and she’s only gonna make me more stressed and actually scratch that i shouldve just killed myself and in my suicide note wrote about how i wouldve quit my job but i knew everyone would be mad at me for it so instead i decided to end my life to make things easier. i could still do that

#in neg city #i just hate how much my family doesnt trust me or like supports me in any capacity other than stressing me out more #again i didnt expect my mom to like my decision. but i thought i had talked to her abt sometimes i just wanna Say Something #without a million solutions or opinions #but i guess she just doesnt care to hear me at all and would rather be like HMM NO YOU NEED TO GET ANOTHER JOB FIRST #even tho being at this job is LITERALLY killing me i am actively getting worse being there #and nick and brianna arent being sympathetic at all either. brianna most of all #which is bold of her to do since shes clinically diagnosed w depression so like. bitch u should kno most of all what it feels like #but noooo shes like 'i think being at home just applying for jobs will make u worse' IT WOULDNT THO. IT WOULDNT #I COULD USE THAT TIME TO FIX MY SLEEP SCHEDULE AND WORK ON MYSELF #INSTEAD OF EXISTING SOLELY TO EARN MONEY TO DUMP INTO RICHER PEOPLES POCKETS #GOD. WHY DOES MY FAMILY NOT GET HOW AWFUL OF A POSITION IM IN RIGHT NOW #OR IF THEY DO GET IT WHY DONT THEY CARE #THEY SAY THEY CARE BUT THEY NEVER HEAR ME OUT #AND IM HONESTLY JUST LIKE SICK OF IT I REALLY AM

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cinnamon-notes · 18 days

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leaving the apartment where i lived with my ex turned out to be more painful than her leaving the apartment where we lived together

#i keep unconsciously forgetting stuff there that will have me go back there just one more time and somehow it's so hard and soooo painful #tried to talk to my mom about this but that era of my life is actually something she cant bring herself to reminisce at all #i could really use a talk with my mom abt this but i dont wanna force a subject on her especially if its something i know she cant talk abt #it was the darkest era of my life and we had that phase lorelai and rory went through when rory dropped out of yale #and i have to thank GG because it made me realize in how much pain my mom must've been at seeing her gifted elder daughter become her worse #self and literally waste everything she was and had and knew. which also helped me realize why she isn't that happy when i mention that time #we went through. cant blame her. i literally threw away two years of my life and all the beautiful people ive been up to that time.#but still- i really need to talk to her about this. because it was indeed painful to walk around an apartment newly emptier and not be able #to be eaten out alive by all the spots of that apt where some things happened or some things were said or some things were seen. it was. it #was extremely painful. it hurt so fucking much. but leaving those spots omg- being willing to never spot them again. being willing to lose #the memory of them. forever. wow- it's a completely different level of pain. it just hurts differently. because i know it's time and i know #it's been time for a very VERY long time. and i know this is literally all it takes for me to be more free from the thought of my ex. i know #it's more than necessary and i know it's the right thing. it still hurts. cuz it's all damn over. and i let it pass without ever actively #process it. because to process it was too painful. and i will heal silently. away from here. alone. with a few true friends. i know i will.#it still hurts cuz like- you can know you made the right decision ans you can still grieve and hurt. so yeah im ceying bye i need my mom and #i need to process many things and im way too traumatized and i probably wont have any other romantic/platonic/sexual relationship for many #many years. and i probably wont have that many friends for a little while. and its okay. its time to settle a little bit steadier than i am.#always remembering im not a tree and im actually allowed to move whenever and wherever i wish. but i need more stability right now. i need #to learn how to love myself without becoming cynical. and im almost there. i know i am. i can feel it. and i feel this steadiness for it to #final.#cinnamon diary #sorry about the rant im just in desperate need to cry and hurt

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crushedsweets · 10 months

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Can you draw or talk more about Toby and Eyeless Jack or even the X-Virus?

YESSSS i can. heres a lil doodle to get me started.

OKKKK the little concept in my head has slender's MAIN GOAL being to prevent any paranormal/supernatural stuff coming out to the general public. hence his proxies being made to get rid of tapes, evidence, and kill if Necessary. sometimes slender makes paranormal/supernatural ppl help out his human proxies "as payment for refuge" in his forest. SO that sorta explains how toby and jack know each other and why jack helps at all. he can't rlly go out to the public so he's stuck with these assholes. it's not really supposed to be a 'mansion' trope, moreso random cabins and shelters littered about the forest, but it could work in the mansion au too

Imma ramble abt toby n jacks friendship (in my head) under the cut + a random x virus doodle

as for toby and jack specifically. toby is impulsive, aggressive, can't feel pain, and doesn't know what's good for him, so he's forced to get help from jack a good bit. for a long while there was hella tension between them since, again, jack isn't helping these guys out of the goodness of his heart. he's helping them bc the forest their boss resides in is the only place he's relatively safe. jack has a weird mix of a inferiority and superiority complex, since he envies toby's humanity but also feels like he's 'better' due to toby's own . . violent habits. toby thinks jack is pretty cool from the get-go ('wooow ur grey..') but he gets pissed off with jack's questions and demands of 'DONT RIP UR FUCKING STITCHES' and 'u have a concussion don't fucking scroll on your phone for 5 hours a day'.

toby has no idea if these demands come from actual concern or annoyance, and frankly, neither does jack. regardless, toby's with jack a decent bit. partially since jack makes a lot of people really uncomfortable so it's easy to go hang out with jack when he doesnt wanna deal with anyone else but still wants company. eventually theyre capable of some decent banter and conversations. theyre both mamas boys so thats a very weird touchy topic that they kinda dance around but both feel very deeply and know the other relates. THEY MISS THEIR MOMS SO BADLY.. :( mayhaps one year toby helps drop off flowers to jack's moms house for mothers day. jacks way too ashamed to even get within a 10 mile radius of his mom. that's kinda the moment things really shift between them and they actually become friends.

toby also asks abt university. lyra was at community college until she passed, and toby never considered college as an option, so he gets curious on what he missed out on. he also likes to share stuff abt lyra and their old shenanigans. tim and brian have used his childhood against him multiple times before, and it's not like he's gonna trust ben or jeff with that information. jacks sort of like a void he could talk into. jack feels uneasy talking about his life before the sacrifice, since he misses it so unbelievably bad, but toby accidentally got him to talk about it while treating a burn before.

ok and to top this fucking essay off heres xvirus. i had no idea he existed until this year and someone sent me an ask about his updated design, so he's some scribbles for him :9 his concepts super cool tho so maybe ill get more into him later on

#THEYRE BEST FRIENDS UR HONOR...#but seriously thank u for the ask #i love getting to ramble. im still working on the confidence to just post headcanons unprompted LOL #ok i gotta go to class now byyeeeeeeee #eyeless jack #ticci toby #ticcijack #eyeless jack headcanon #ticci toby headcanon #creepypasta #creepypasta art #creepypasta headcanon #xvirus #toby rogers #jack nyras #sweetart #chatterbox #creeped

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sugar-omi · 4 months

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I came here to ask for Rockstar! Cove rambles and saw the Rockstar! Baxter art you reblogged omfg it's so good.

Please can we get some of your Rockstar! Cove (and/or Baxter if you feel like it) rambles 🙏

(Hope your holiday has been great 💖)

this is more. rockstar!cove backstory but YKW ITS FINE BC ITS BEEN WHATS ON MY MIND LATELY we'll have to talk abt him again bc this post was getting LONG especially w baxterrr

tags : SFW, headcanons, step 2-4, rockstar au, so ooc, bullying mentioned, fighting, baxter's tags are below before his hc's

listen....

im ngl. i want him to be maybe a little toxic. a lil crazy.

or into things he's not canonically into/does often

at least he's rough n impulsive at first

whenever he can get away with it, and before he got famous, he loves taking a long ride on his motorcycle

compared to when he was a young teen, he tries not to take drives when he's angry

bc when he was young, he'd put on some music and blast it as loud as it could go, and he'd drive and drive and drive...

ended up with a few warnings and speeding tickets that way because he'd get lost in riding n his thoughts n the music

but now that his life isn't so turbulent, he doesn't do that anymore

i wanna imagine he doesn't grow up with you next door n you didn't know each other until junior year of high school

he sees you n he's sold...

thinks you're so fucking beautiful/handsome and he sees you laughing n smiling w your friends n he's so, so whipped for you

he's still a sweet shy boy, so it takes forever for him to talk to you

n it's terry who introduced you two!!!

he's all flustered, bc you're even more lovely up close

n if you're all bubbly n extroverted, he thinks you're like sunshine

if you're more reserved, he thinks you're very cool or that it's amazing how calm you are all the time

if you're shy/easily flustered, will sometimes (and now that he's grown, always) mention out loud he thinks it's cute when you blush...

either way, just loves your personality n thinks you're amazing n cute

you actually calm him down. you ground him.

he used to get into fights kinda often.

i like to think rockstar!cove got like this bc his parents stayed together longer than they did, n there was no brilliant neighbor to reach out to him

he n his dad were still like oil n water, and the kids at school were less than friendly but usually didn't dare fuck with him

key word is usually.

just had a thought actually... cliff's family living nearby

not his parents. he moved as far as he could

and with him n Kyra on the brink of divorce, her moving out the house, n all cliff has to do to keep them afloat..

he didn't think his equally shitty cousins would be a problem.

but surprise!! they're a few doors down n too happy to "catch up"

cove n cliff avoid them pretty well, n cliff really didn't need to tell cove to avoid his cousins bc he was already 2 steps ahead of him

but his cousins dont get that message, they also think its a good idea to pick on cove...

so between the short patience of most hormonal 13 year olds, his parents (finally) separating, cove's intolerance for bullshit....

cove ends up rocking his 2 cousins shit when they snatch his glasses off his face, bending the frame

ignores his cousins mom yelling at him n cliff to apologize for hurting her kids. feels a bit warm when his dad tells her his son is more well mannered than both her kiss combined, even laughs when he says a rabid raccon has more sense n poise

but is even happier when his dad, after a moment of silence in the car, asks him if be used the right hook he taught him

n tries to hide his smile when his dad ruffles his hair n goes "that's good. good job son."

he does hear the whole, "violence isn't always the answer" and "pick your battles" thing

but he shrugs off the lecture when he and cliff have a tub of ice cream each n cliff holds a bag of peas to his face

anyway.

he fights like a DOG. he arGRHHH HE HAS EVERYTHIGN TAKEN CARE OF. TRUST.

professional at sneaking out n sneaking YOU out

cove at 4am: wanna get mcd's?

dont even bother saying no bc he's already outside

dont pretend to be sleep either bc he FUCKING SEES YOU.

will leave you alone if you genuinely don't wanna fuck around in the middle of the night, but how can you say no to him?

ah. before i forget

Will kiss you if you're bandaging his face

asks you to ice his bruises...

SINGS YOU SONGS N SHIT

kryptonite. creep. p!nk and lady gaga PERIOD. all of it

serenades you with his guitar and/or voice

sometimes he's just fiddling with the strings, switching between cheery beats and trying to rick roll you but the beat is wayyy off

loves when you fall asleep to his music too, plays the sleepiest tune he can think of

you being his biggest supporter is what makes him fight to make a name in the music industry

after supporting him in his personal life, through all his lows and highs, then supporting his music that he was too scared to go for

he puts his best foot forward for his sake and yours

+ TAGS: mention of FWB, toxic baxter <3, so ooc ofc, mm implied partying/drinking

now rockstar baxter....

i want him to be a problem. he's the toxic one here

compared to cove, who is soft n sweet but impulsive and always willing to fight, rough but well meaning...

baxter is your situationship

your friends with benefits

friends if a loose word, since you hardly ever talk since you've met and unless arguing, bickering, or sexting counts as getting to know each other...

than you're best friends!!!

he's the big headed musician who always asks "wyd" and "u up?" whenever he's in town

at least he sends you money to doll up or eat, or whatever before he gets in town

"make sure you eat before i come. bc im not letting you go once i get there"

so.... if you want commitment. he's not it...

just saw *this tweet, and rockstar!baxter IS the type to email you after you block him

omfg. if any of yall have read armin x reader fanfics... yk how he is in those fics? all toxic n shit?

thats baxter.

not THAT bad. like baby trapping bad or cheating on you, manipulating you etc.

but he's bad

definitely the dumb choice you make at 18-20 smth years old n once you mature, you drop him because he doesn't grow up quickly...

he won't even have the realization that you're the one until he's MINIMUM 37-40+ YEARS OLD. AND FLYS UP FROM THE BED LIKE HE'S SEEN A GHOST

curses n curses himself to high hell and low heaven

now depending on how bad he's fucked you over, or you've moved on, etc... he understands if you don't wanna try being together, bc he was a fucking mess

at least, if he sees you catching feelings or himself, he does break it off

but there's still good times between you!!

he sends you things for your birthday

and when he's not on tour showing his ass, he comes to spend it with you

is very happy if you come to spend his birthday with him!!!

starts to look forward to it, but he doesn't really show it

although after the first time, he can't help crying, thought the first time was just a one off thing

unless you make the first one a big thing, than he cries then

even if all you did was get/make a cake and decorate your small apartment, he's so so happy

mm i started thinking abt smth

i don't think he's that bad, impulsive, etc. before his career

before, he's pursuing music because his parents hate it. its "not a useful career" and "embarrassing"

but then he starts to love it, its an outlet for him and then it's become a passion

but once he gets a deal with a record label, it's just a downward spiral

puts everything into music, ignores everything else and doesn't take breaks like he should

i think what breaks your "relationship" is him getting caught up in the darker side of the music industry, and losing himself.

he doesn't laugh or anything like before

doesn't make random trips to see you anymore

in fact, probably ends up flaking on you or suddenly canceling, or going weeks without talking to you

its rough. and you two definitely need time apart for him to grow and realize that this is serving anyone besides the companies pockets well

#our life: beginnings & always #olba #cove holden #cove holden x reader #baxter ward #baxter our life #baxter ward x reader

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rui-drawsbox · 2 months

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halo halo this might be out of blue but may i ask how’d you fall in love w Baxter? I wanna hear the story of like how you started to like him if you don’t mind sharing . tysm!!and i love all your artworks!!!!

AGHHHHHHH i was about to go to sleep but healty schedules are overrated. Take a sit cuz this is gonna be LONG bc i dont know how to get to the point (jump right to the end to get the 3 lines resume lmao)

if you ask me why i like right now: he's a dramatic loser. But that was when i finally understood his character! you wouldn't be surprised if tell you that i'm an idiot right? i'm super slow to read between lines and understand people, that applies to fictional characters too lmao (+add that english isn't my first language) So! at first i didn't actually understood what was going on with -well- anything :D.

Took me a few playthroughs to actually understand the game in general, i started to play before step 4 was out so all i could do was play and replay different ways to fall in love with Cove (starting to crush at step3 was my fav) but tbh he was never my *type*, Derek was interesting but just bc he like us by default. Even after playing his dlc i felt like he was just a really good friend (which was kinda weird bc to this point i've just played his romantic route). So, what's different with Baxter?

To begin with! he's... he's....... huhh my first impression wasn't actually strong tbh, i was like "huh new guy to date yay". I didn't actually understood his character the first few playthroughs ngl. I started in fond ofc to get into the dlc but *I* was pretty indifferent, probably in Drinks where we finally see Morning Baxter was that i said "oh shit he's cute" and cuteness+gapmoe is enough to make me fall for any character tbh.

But! that was not enough to provoke a brainrot like this right? i'm the "Oh i love this *forgets about in a week*" type. What sealed the deal (badum tss) was probably bc of the fandom? Once i was done replaying the dlc 5 times in a row i went straight to tumblr to feed of headcanons, fanarts and fanfics. My favorite way to understand a character is thru the fandom tbh, my favs are the long aa essays talking about a character personality.

Long story short, he was dramatic troubled flirty gap-moe guy (my fictional type, coincidentally) with an excellent storyline. I still wasn't 100% into him but he was top1 romatic choice for me (sorry Cove and Derek, love ya but platonically), so i made 2 fanarts for his dlc in may and let the hype die... only for 6 months otherwise we wouldn't be here, would we?

AH-HA-HEM the day 28th of november, beginnings of summer, i went out in the morning to do some errands with my mom, we stopped to buy vegetables in our way home and she bought a small watermelon bc i love them. That same afternoon i was eating it and thought "watermelons are finally here, summer it's officially here!" and got struck with Olba memories like a sleeper agent. (made a minicomic abt that, that's why i have the exact date lol) SO i replayed the game again, reading everything again, and oh boy i finally understood so many things, one of those things was Baxter himself!

A lot of stuff made sense once i actually took the time to comprehend his character with the information i gained out of the game (mainly all the asks ppl sent to gb). Add the way that i always played like *me* on my first playthroughs of anything and then you'll notice why he hit me so hard, it felt like i wasn't giving him enough credit before dasjkfas.

Tbh his dlc is my fav bc it has such a strong storyline, you get to know him and his insecurities thru all step 3, and have a lot of sweet moments too! (and that night goodbye?? omg it hits me so hard bc it's right after the ending song) and because step 4 it's right after you go with all the fresh memories of your summer together and seeing him so cold towards you it's so painful but also so funny because HA I CAN SEE THRU YOUR FACADE YOU STILL LIKE ME HAHAHA and i finally knew the perfect word for him: loser.

Anyways i also did a deep dive in the Olba and Baxter Ward tag here in tumblr and eat pretty much everything, also helped me to get a better grasp for all the little details i didn't noticed before bc haha i told you im an idiot?

sO yeah i made a few drawings of my Mc interacting with the characters, surprisingly it got a lot of attention from the fandom so i made a few more and when i noticed i was deep into the brainrot and i wasn't able to draw anything besides my Ruri and Baxter being cute lmao

Funfact. Ruri is a variation of Rui (duh) that i used in games when i didn't feel like i wanted to be called my name directly, now that she expropriated me of that name i use Ruru, i'm so creative right?

Long story short: it was mix of the game itself, fandom content and people actually liking my oc content. The fandom is super welcoming with everyone's oc's i love that akjdlfhask

ajksdfhasjk WOAH THAT IS SO LONG i def went over the top didnt i? I tried to explain my train of thought and fill the spaces where my memory is blurry with stuff i think i would've thought at the moment, it's also 3am so im- not entirely here tbh hjadfhkj

ANYWAYS THANKYOU ANON FOR LETTING ME RAMBLE I LOVE TALKING TO NO ONE IN SPECIFIC ABOUT THE THINGS I LOVE LOVE YAA<333

#rui thinks loudly #gonna upload the drawing i actually was staying up late for and go to sleep #took me 2 hours to write this omg im so lost #idk how much i wrote but i still feel like it wasnt enough. i need to ramble and be redundant about olba for another 3 hours

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shhisp · 7 months

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No intention of posting a pesterlog drabble compilation to AO3 anytime soon, so. *throws Daverose into the abyss, rated T*

BRO: How d'you think we're gonna die?

MOM: ...

MOM: tbh idk thinkin abt that is tooooooo morbid 4 meeeee

BRO: That's fair. But it's all I think about, really.

MOM: …

MOM: hay dirk?

BRO: Yes?

MOM: yk i was thinkin abt the whole

MOM: harley havin us raise kids n stuff n how freaked out i am. n ik u havent liked talking abt it

MOM: which i get

MOM: i dont rly either

MOM: its

MOM: i dunno im just tryna think of a way 2 make it a lil more lighthearted for us ig

BRO: I don't have a fuckin' clue how you're gonna accomplish that, but be my guest.

MOM: i mean liek

MOM: what if they look like us??

MOM: n even if we live far away we can make em siblings

MOM: pretend theyre like made of our combined goo or somethin

BRO: Is this your way of coming out to me, Rox?

MOM: wtf as wha

MOM: OMFG WAIT CUM JOKE

MOM: idk im just thinkin

MOM: reaaaal hard

MOM: parentzzzzz

MOM: could be us

BRO: That would suck miserably, Rox.

BRO: I'm a faggot. You're an alcoholic.

BRO: Everyone we love is either close to dying or dead,

BRO: or, I guess, gone without an explanation.

BRO: I don't think we'd make great parents.

MOM: hypotheticals dirk

MOM: i dont wanna b sad i want hypotheticals

BRO: Okay.

BRO: Let's say we have twins.

BRO: Two little blonde buggers with a predisposition to all sorts of shit, both of 'em. The boy gets your traits, and the girl gets mine.

BRO: Maybe they're like us. Maybe they'll be the siblings we could never actually be.

BRO: Who knows, really?

BRO: But. And I'm just sayin'.

BRO: No offense to you, Rox,

BRO: I just. Man.

MOM: ???

BRO: They're gonna fuck each other, Roxy. They're gonna fuck each other so hard and we won't be able to do shit about it.

MOM: DIRKKKFKFHSHSHEHSD NOOOOOO STOPP LMAOOOADBSV

BRO: Nah. I'm being dead-fuckin'-serious.

BRO: We are so damn fucked up, Rox. They're gonna get all their wires crossed even worse than we got ours with that old man raisin' us.

BRO: She's gonna be the husband and he's gonna be the wife, and they'll have so many stupid babies and raise 'em all up in Alabama.

BRO: A tale for the ages.

BRO: Pure Hollywood.

#loud typewriting noises #gawd i love having a place to post this stupid shit #daverose #rosedave #dersecest #strilondes #bro strider #mom lalonde #incest cw #meristuck

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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Boruto things that made me lose my mind (ep 94-119):

I like how none of the kids from the original naruto teams are friends as adults lmao

Chocho: how could my mom love my dad? It has to be his ravenous appetite

Kakashi @ sasuke: lol u r so bad at bonding with ur daughter *proceeds to give him terrible advice*

Kakashi telling sasuke how to interact with his daughter: use a soft and loving voice. When you talk to naruto- (ok stop, let's appreciate your line of throught right there)

Sasuke @ sarada: I wanted to be hokage once (and babygirl that was one of your top 10 most fucking batshit insane moments)

OK the cursed marks apparently use genetic manipulation, which is odd and really interesting. I assume it works like a virus, inserting and expressing foreign... demonic? DNA. Weird.

Why are all anime scientists evil?

Karin: time to torch all these cursed geese 🔥 Sarada: no, stand back, I'll do it myself 😠

The more they say Karin is not sarada's mother, the less I believe it

...a goose they said was genetically incapable of flying flew away... fucking what? Just tying hard in exactly the same way as everyone else is not how you overcome genetic disadvantages like that????

Why all this moralizing abt kindness toward animals? This is a show where kids beat the shit out of eachother and murder ppl. Can we focus on not doing that maybe???

Orochimaru: hm looks like mitsuki is becoming too gay, we may have to delete all his memories 😔

Kakashi: why dont u wanna believe in ghosts? Mirai: if ghosts are real, why hasn't my dad visited me? (Hey kakashi, this would b a good time to tell her abt the time u spent literally dead? No? Ok cool)

THE CULT OF JASHIN?! HAHAHA. Losers.

Why tf do they even hold the chunin exams? Just promote ppl based on merit like they literally just did with shikadai??? (Historically its bc ppl like watching death matches)

The commercialization of the shinobi within the village makes me wanna spit and bite

Houki abt kakashi: the one who nourished lord 7th 😤 (is that really true tho? I mean he did his best but team 7 was a clusterfuck)

Konohamaru: there is no shortcut to becoming hokage! (Yeah sure but there is huge favoritism toward those trained by the previous hokage...)

Boruto: people aren't in love unless they overtly say it (I love to image this is how Boruto sees how ppl feel abt everything and that's y he's so loud and blunt abt things)

Random village: we stave off a demon by joining two bloodlines in an act of incest ✌️

Konohamaru, casually: my grandpa died by entering a deal with an entity beyond human comprehension 🤷‍♂️

#back on my naruto bullshit 🤪#i just lost my mind at the hot springs thing and rage quit. it just makes me furious on so many levels #bc they obviously arent training the shinobi correctly???? like they dont seem to do any field training??? hello???#i dont understand. also why has no one sat down with mirai and been like: let me tell u abt ur dad #its bc no ones friends anymore so no one ever sees her so shes like idk jack abt my dad lil #whatever. also in ep120 himawari @ boruto is like: Grandpa is gonna b mad abt u not camping with us #and all i could think was: aw hima fuck ur grandpa!!! bc i have successi0n brain lmao #anyway this was a lotta bullshit in these episodes #i think a lot was supposed to b fan service but it just made me mad hahaha get back to the plot pls #i get so mad at the characters and then boruto comes back onscreen and im like: oh there u r my son #and that is not the reaction i anticipated when i started this show lol. i cannot deny i am a boruto apologist #boruto #naruto #naruto ramblings #i cut out everytime i told one of the kids to shut the fuck up bc it was a lot

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misterradio · 1 month

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okay here are some tron 2.0 thoughts TEE HEE....... you have been Spoiler Warned for REAL!

tron fans talk abt this game with me okay 🥺

THIS GAME IS BEAUTIFUL .... MWWWWWAH!!!!!! i just love all the different environment designs, the color coding that went into the different computer systems was really cool too. my main takeaway is that the visuals Rule.

the npc designs were cool too but i kind of wish there was More variety (visually as well as voice acting)... but i really enjoy the design direction here ::-) why so many bald antagonist though? lol (AND WHY SO MANY MEN?)

In regards to gameplay i felt like it was pretty standard? i ended up using the basic disc weapon for most of the game because switching weapons takes Way too long if youre actively fighting, which is kind of a shame cuz there are so many weapon options... i did really enjoy the energy claw though 👍also the light cycle racing SUCKED and there was a graphical glitch that made it so that a bunch of visuals to my cycle were missing so i couldnt even enjoy the new design that was hyped up lol. as complicated as gameplay felt up front it definitely felt much better as it went on so it was pretty good.

game progression was very straightforward which i didnt expect..? go do this and then do that, etc. i thought it would be more open. this isnt rlly a complaint bc at least i wasnt lost or anything.

finding all the build notes was thankfully not hard but i enjoy poking around as much as i can in games already... and i liked the mechanics of searching archive boxes and being able to read emails between people ::-) YAY NOSINESS !!! despite finding all the build notes i still didnt end with the highest version i couldve...🤔 no idea how that works then...

moving on 2 story...

all the characters felt a bit flat so that was unfortunate... i wouldve liked to see some more emotions from everyone, bit more personality, etc...

i dont rlly know where jet's attachment to mercury came from, is he in love with this girl, if so why?? im thinking that since she was the first program to really reach out and help jet, that he latched on to her. but as the player i was kind of neutral on her SORRY although her design is cool

i was in disbelief that lora died and i was thinking she would just have been digitized and b in the computer somewhere? and there are allusions to her at least being superficially present in the program ma3a/ma2a etc (they have the same actress ^^__^^) but neither jet nor alan mention this which really shocks me??!!!??? thats your deceased mom or wife can u show a bit of tenderness or something..... maybe this can be cooked up more in an AU or something . idk i was really hoping she (and yori) would be around. i held on to hope for so long ✊️

OBVIOUSLY WISHING TRON WAS THERE... but omg alan being in the digital world shocked me so much i really liked that HEHE. him wearing tron's outfit was fun. i saw someone else in the tag say this, but if tron is "retired" then where is he?? INQUIRING MINDS WANNA KNOW !! he and jet werent very fazed by being digitized which surprised me buuut they also have to adapt fast given the urgency of their situation..

i felt rlly bad that thorne died SNIFFLE SNIFFLE jet and alan just watched a real guy die in front of them thats MESSED UP!! he was really cool too i enjoyed the corruption concept ::-) i was really worried the three fcon employees were gonna die too but im glad they implied that they could be repaired and manifested again.. (what is the word for un-digitized..?)

evil ma3a was really cool 👍 tbh all the antagonists are cool except im neutral on the kernel. i was confused that he was red i thought he was evil like in the original movie with the MCP's soldiers.. but i think hes just a guy who happens to be red. and also trying to kill u but just bc you (jet) are a freak of computer nature and should not be there. thats fair. i enjoyed his boss fight too.

THE FCON MONSTER WAS RLLY COOL HOW AM I NOT SEEING ANY FANART OF THEM.... ::-( i have to fix this... ALSO I WISH they had dialogue. like are they even aware of their situation. missed opportunity !!

okay thats all i can think of now.

WAIT UM I READ THE COMIC CONTINUATION(?) the ghost in the machine AS WELL and i dont have many thoughts on it bc it was really confusing BUT i did enjoy the layers of horror and unreality which i really did not expect. was also expecting the titular ghost to have more to do with lora (SIGH I REALLY WANNA SEE HER AGAIN) but it didnt but thats okay. i really liked the art of the first book specificaly.....

do any tron fans also like soma (2015) haha just wondering [TWIRLS MY HAIR

#original nonsense #personal #tron 2.0 #disabling rbs but main-tagging anyways so tron fans wil talk to me maybe 🤔#LONG POST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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native-american-culture-is · 4 months

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hii! i hope your having a good day!! I have a question for you, feel free not to answer because i dont know if this question makes sense or not!

So, basically i wanna know if it’d be okay for me to reconnect with my native american side. I dont know how much native i am because i suck at math, but i know of a few relatives who were native. And i look very white, due to alot of my family coming from europe and some from asia and stuff. But, i have a few native american features but they arent that noticeable. i didnt grow up around the culture, or live on a reservation and i feel like im not indigenous enough to reconnect but i really want to because thats where alot of my family comes from.

anyways, heres a bit of the backstory for my native side:

On my dad’s side, he has an uncle (or great uncle) who owns property on a reservation. i dont know much more abt my dads side because he never talks about it but i know he didnt grow up on the reservation or around the culture

my mom’s side has the most natives in my family i think.

i have two relatives (possibly more), who died on the trail of tears. And, my great great grandparents who died in the late 1800’s and were born in the early 1800’s were native. i believe that they were on a reservation and involved with the culture. They had atleast 1 kid i know of, we will call him jake (not real name). So, Jake had 5 children, one of them is my great great grandmother we will call her hailey. You could look at hailey and tell she was really native just by looking at her. She died in 2004. i never met her so im not sure if she grew up around the culture.

but, i know i have more native relatives then that because i have a large family, and some of the natives in my family had alot of children who then had more children. im currently looking for more of my family members now.

I know 100% that they were native, because i have their pictures (so i know they exist), then my mom has alot of papers showing marriage certificates and different information about them.

so, i wanna learn more about my culture and where my family comes from, but i have really pale skin and dont look native at all besides from a few barely noticeable features. My mom and dad look native, but for some reason i dont.

i just wanna know if it’d be considered disrespectful to reconnect with my culture if im not fully native and if its okay to call myself native once i reconnect and learn more about my family. So, is that disrespectful?

sorry if this is too long, or doesnt make sense. and sorry if some of the notes are irrelevant im autistic and have adhd so i kinda say random info like i am now

anyways, have a good day!!

I'd say go for it! I, and many other natives I've met, across a large range of different "amounts" of Native heritage, have said it's okay to reconnect regardless of amount of heritage as long as you are listening to the elders in your specific culture and being respectful towards other Natives and are not speaking over those who have grown up in that culture.

I myself am mixed. So I understand firsthand the struggle of not feeling "Native enough" to reconnect. It took me almost until adulthood to accept that I was really Native, despite the fact that I was legally Native up until laws changed to require direct tribal affiliation, and despite the fact that I had received discrimination many times specifically for that part of my genetics and the physical traits that I inherited from it. So I get it, the worries that you're intruding and aren't really native and shouldn't reconnect. But I promise you can, and many others in the communities would be happy to have you. In fact, a lot of Natives encourage reconnection- many Natives were spread out, had their culture taken from us for generations, and in some cases even had our heritage tried to be erased by white people- both through forced cultural assimilation and many other means. Reconnection helps rebuild that community and rebuild the culture many of us lost because of colonization. You don't have to reconnect if you don't want to, but if you choose to you have many other Natives full support for it.

#indigenous #not culture #ask #asks #reconnecting native #reconnecting questions #indigenous questions

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starscelly · 10 months

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i’m the question asking anon from earlier and istg literally every time you share something about this au i just become more invested! i will read anything you post about them why do these boys have my heart

robo’s rebellion moment made me chuckle, it’s also so sweet that his mom helped familiarize him with the guitar!

i still don’t know what questions to ask so ig this is like another ‘ today i want to talk about [ insert thing here]’ (heck, it can be another 5 of those, however many you need/want)

i guess a question is how did roope find robo and otter? what made them realize that they fit/work together in that way?

the boys also have my heart and every single inch of space in my brain so i get it !!!! thank u again for ur like. investment and giving me space to blab abt them fudfkskldsfl i appreciate it sm <3 <3

i had to marinate and think a Lot on how robo, jake, and roope all meet bc obviously coming from 3 different places there has to be an element of chance but also. i dont wanna go completely batshit lmao. here's an Attempt at explaining my thoughts!!:

otter still goes to college but instead of bu. bc he's not pursuing hockey. he ends up going to ut austin (its a good communications school and he actually has a communications degree like. real life)

he doesnt rlly Love school but he’s figuring out what he wants in life and his parents wanted him to go. so.

robo and him meet at some random ass show in texas, where robo only is bc his family drove over in the rv for a Different show

they dont immediately run off together and play music lol but they do keep in contact via text and calls for a few months, rlly Bond and become super close

robo comes through texas with his family again eventually but theyre not performing in austin this time, just dallas. so jake goes out there to see them

they've kind of vaguely been talking abt forming their own band at this point but obviously there's the distance that both of them are kind of. scared to close on a whim for smthn that might not work. and also they want to get someone who can consistently do lead vocals and play bass etc

anyways. they have a couple free days so they go to random house shows and smaller venues around dallas

roope is in the area bc at this time he's playing in the NAHL but heavily considering dropping hockey for music (he Actually played for bismarck and for like 2 games but. for the au ive decided he played longer for the lone star brahmas lol) and is basically just trying to find out what he's heading for, what he Wants

they see roope performing with a band that is like. Not His but just kind of a random assortment of his friends in the scene fucking around having fun (the house show is at one of his friend's places)

and roope is not. a great singer. he's not professionally trained and amazing. but he has a really fucking unique and cool voice (they will later find out this is bc of his accent and aversion to having a clear throat) so theyre like. heavily heavily intrigued bc they think it could make for a sick sound . in their band. what a coincidence!!

robo. looking like the most average dude ever. walks up to him after like hey ... we saw u from across the punk house and rlly dig ur vibe. and otter is kind of mortified but also is like ^^ play music with us please just to see ^^

roope is in an . emotionally difficult time in his life trying to decide if he wants to take a leap and leave all he's ever known his entire life. so obviously he jumps at the first chance and is like. Fuck It let's do it

obviously there's more logistics - roope finishes out his season before fully committing to the band, robo has to have this whole discussion with his family and have this emotional ass move to dallas, otter doesnt drop out completely but does have to explain to his family that his band is going to be his first priority at some point and starts taking only online classes etc - but thats how those three kind of. Meet and Click

theyre also still having bassist woes and thats when roope calls miro etc but. this isnt abt him rn for once

its a weird mix of a lot of Right Place Right Time scenarios, but how else do two americans who have no reason to ever meet end up with two finns who have little reason to be in america in the first place!!

i also think at first there's not really. Issues necessarily. but it takes a while for otter and robo, who are both super friendly open people, to kind of figure out roope's whole thing so they can finally click. which he's not Unfriendly per se but also he's not going out of his way to make conversation. but once they figure out oh he doesnt hate us and he's not even like one of those mean snappy punks he's just. european.. it's all relatively smooth sailing from there lol . it also helps when miro finally arrives and is both much friendlier at face value and also has roope being overly affectionate and up his ass 24/7 (which eventually bleeds over into his interactions with the other two)

#ik it doesnt Quite work with their actual ages bc of juniors age limits etc but. let us stretch our imaginations .#un-oldmanifying roope by a year or two for plot purposes #the process of them fully committing to the band is a very long drawn out exhausting process that we dont need to talk abt. amen #thank u for forcing me to think out the logistics of smthn i kept putting off LOL genuinely made me Think which is why this took so long #flying stars band au #ask

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magnoliamyrrh · 1 year

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this is about the convo earlier with being molested by family members..i'm also balkan and i grew up with my grandparents but especially my grandpa inappropriately touching my chest and when i tried to tell my mom, older sis and aunt they all dismissed it as 'ehh he probably didn't mean to/his hand slipped'. i didn't wanna insist and look crazy because i do love my grandpa and he was the only parental figure i had in my life growing up, but at the same time...he did do that. idk if he thought it was normal or what but i think about it often. i can't bring it up with my family again because they'll just ignore it (especially now that he's dead). it's weird to think about how loving and nice he was when he was also doing shit like that from time to time. idk where i'm going with this but yeah. i don't think of myself as someone who was molested as a kid but this shit is definitely normalized. i've seen it in other families where they'd constantly touch and talk about their little boy's genitals... it's so fucked up

it really is fucked up, and its fucked up to realize that so many of us grew up w this.... for a long time i thought this was a me issue not a cultural one - and all the silence and shame around it certainly didnt help w that.... its been fucking weird to think abt the last couple of days since i asked on here abt it. like.. weve really made this SO normal and common huh?? that going against it is outright dismissed or even punished??? i cant help but just keep wondering where the fuck it all went so wrong and how we got here - and whats so wrong that things like this havent been accepted only in the balkans but elsewhere. what. what is wrong with this species. incest is one of the only universal taboos among humans, and most other mammals also have an aversion to it. and yet. we have normalized an abnormal amount of it nontheless over and over again .....? uuuff

im sorry you went through that, and im sorry they didn't take it seriously and listen more to you. thats something that always hurts in particular. discomfort/repulsion is a normal reaction to have and youd expect at least the other women in ur family to care or understand it too, and its rly fucked up when they just... dismiss it or minimize it or make you feel guilty for it or like its your issue or hell do it themselves.. i figure for a lot of them, if theyd accept that what youre saying is bad, itd mean theyd have to accept that things they went through themselves was bad, and they dont wanna do that. so they dont do either.. im sorry that u cant speak abt it and i totally get how him being dead would make it all much harder. in my family at least we v much have a "dont speak ill of the dead" sorta thing, or just excusing the actions of particularly men after they did sorta thing......i still haven't told my family just about anything. any time i ever tried to bring up anything as a kid id get dismissed and ignored at best or be punished or degraded and humiliated at worst so.... learned my lesson on that one but. thank u for sending this, i hate to hear how many of us went through this but also its. nice to know that were not alone in this and that other ppl do get it

and i feel you. its a really confusing mess to try to make sense of how to feel abt ppl like that... be angry? be grossed out, be scared? be numb, be okay with it, pretend it didnt happen? excuse it, explain it away? .... and its just weird in the cases when it wasnt rly something particularly violent, or ""not that bad/bad enough"" ig or towes that line of being able to convince urself that maybe welll it could have been an accident. its weird to know how to feel abt them when they were seemingly ok ppl you cared abt and still do and who were nice other times. .. but also... did shit like this which end of the day just isnt ok. idk... i dont think theres rly a end or solution or one way to feel, i think.... its just kinda bound to be a cocktail of conflicting emotions... im still trying to figure out how to find some sort of. idk, potential resolution or peace w any of it but i haven't rly figured it out yet, i just keep turning it in my mind too

#anon im sending u many hugs and wishing u all the best 🌸 feel free to vent whenever

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n0ct0urn1quet · 2 years

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every single time i think about me and my gf i remember we've fr been together for 4 years and at face value sure it doesnt seem like long but then im just like. oh my god 4 years is a long fuckin time!!!!!1 i was 12 4 years ago!!!!!!!!! i was an entirely different person 4 years ago!!!!! god dam!!!!!!!! its just so wild to think about. in a good way ofc !!!!! its just. wow.

here i was like 3 years ago wondering if me and pepper would ever b able to meet in person n here we are current day still trying to work Something Out to meet. we have our entire thing planned out already basically too : when she moves out she's gonna go find a place n live alone for abt a month or so n then when she's ready im gona come n move with her, i know that im gonna b coming to see Her and she isnt comin up here to see me n its like. we're plannign that. 3 years ago i made a dinky little gofundme with no credit card no paypalll no Anything set up to it expecting that ppl would donate to it so that me, a 13 year old, by myself, could go see my gf allllllllll the way in texas . like we fr did not plan anything out like. at the time her house was super super Super Small n her room was tiny n she didnt have the best living situation and hell i had only known her for like a YEAR and the ppl she was living with prbably didnt know who i was at ALL so its just. idk.

but liek!!!!!!! here we are now . planning 2 meet each other . Some Time. eventually idk when. im sitting here hoping that idk i can come see her during winter break in december but i feel like thats too soon to start planning for and its a limited amount of time bc she only gets 2 weeks off of school in december n our winter breaks dont match up bc she starts winter break like a week before we do ??? but again that doesnt really matter bc im prolly not gonna be in school this year ANWYAYS. i really really hope we can do something but ouguughhh i dont know her mom n her mom doesnt know me and my mom wouldnt wanna come with us bc she has 0 interest in meeting my gf (i mean not like in a negative way she just never sounds interested when i talk to her abt pepper. like she just sits there and goes "uh huh" "mhm" "yeah" like ... i dont expect her to say anything fuckin groundbreaking but you could at least not sound bored when im talking to you about my gf of 4 years !!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!). idk!!!!!!!! i just really wana do something. plan something. id LOVE for her to come here bc not only do i not get to leave the house and go on an airplane (airplane scary :() but ,,,,,,,,, peppor gets 2 meet,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, my kitty,,,,,,,,,, but also thas anothr thing bc originally it was suppsoed to be me AND mom going to go visit them but then we wouldnt have anyone to watch kitty and. i jst dont wanna leav ehim home alone for 2 weeks straight thatd just be HORRIBLE. he has abandonment issues already from being abandoned by my sister and suddenly being seperated from kitten, my sister's other cat, who he's known since kitten was a kitten. its just like... i dont want him to think that WE'RE going to abandon him too yknow. so rly id much rather have pepper come Here so that me n mom can be home n watch kitty n pepper can meet kitty and yeah !!!!!!!!!!!! yeah.

idk sorey for the random post!!!!!!1 im just awuauhjhbjkdnkjnklg. its so wild 2 think that me n her have been together for 4 years . like god thas a long time and honestly. i think its so ebic :] som of my most happy memories wer shared with her or came from something her n i did together and its just. its nice :]

i reemeember. singing 2 her for the first time. n i remember my voice was all Shaky bc god i was just so fuckin NERVOUS bc i think not only had that been the first time she heard me sing but ALSO i think if i remember correctly that was like one of the first times we really talked verbally?? i dont rly think we did often before that. n i remember finishing the song n she was like omg u sound so pretty and i was like aaaaa!!!!!!!!! n then she was like "yeah i muted the bot (cause we were in a discord call with a music bot in the vc so she could hear the song) so i could hear u better" AND I WAS JUST LIKE AUAUHGHGHHG WHYYY HAVING THE SONG IN THE BACKGROUND WOULDVE MADE MY VOICE SOUND 10x MORE LISTENABLE!!!!!! WHY DID YOU DO TAHT!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! HSDKJHKJHJKD,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

also man i remember jus like the . the Evolution of her voice. like cause yknow when we started talking verbally we were still jus young n i remember her voice being. like not super deep at all. not like high pitched but she sounded just. much different than how she does now. n i think like we didnt rly vc for a while (like idk a couple months or so . maybe longer?) and. god i rjust remember hearing her voice for the first time n it dropped liek 3 octaves and i was just like oh my GOD JHAJAKSKJBHJKGBKJG... n even stil 2 this day whenver i hear her voice im juts like ouuuuughghgh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,prety :]

(meanwhile i still sound the same as i did when i wasl ike 10 years old . juts slightly, VERY slightly deeper. barely noticeable though AJKJSAHJBKJLG)

n idk juts!!!!!! idk. i juts love her a lot. shit's complicated sometimes bc distance n school n general business sometimes but its cool . i dont mind waiting another however long we'll have to wait til we meet in person. who knows, it could be a mere couple of months to at the VERY least, like, 2 mor years. which isnt that bad honestly !!!!!!! like cmon. we've been together 4 years. all long distance. i have no doubt that we can go through another 2 ish years but.....if we're lucky maybe itll only b a couple months. we'll just have to see how things work out :]

@510snake i luv u,,, <:]

#sorey !!!!! ik this post is long its kinda rambly #also sory if i got any of thos memories wrong thas jus how i remeber things but i might b totally off haha #u prolly have a better memory than i do my long term memory is shiiiiiiit <3 #but . yeah :]#i luv u pepor.................. my scrimbly :]#ALSO I REMember god. idk if i ever like told u this BUT #remember how i used to call u stuff like honey/hun all the time. like id jus randomly call u that sometimes-#well okay yes some of it WAS accidental like i just had an instinct to call u honey n be like 'are u okay hun' but #sometimes id do it . on purpose!!!!!!! imply because i really just wanted to call you honey and also i really . really wanted u to #do the same for me KLJAKJLKJLBJHG like i wanted to hear u call me honey n hun but i was too like Worried abt just ... asking u that #BECUASE like wouldnt it be weird ??? your gf comes to u after she's called u honey/hun accidentally and i s jus liek #'hey u should start calling me honey/hun' LIKE WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN WEIRSS??D??? GOD #anyways i smiled a lot when u said it was okay for me to just start calling u that whenver :)#and then u started calling me that too and i juts!!!!! :O :)!!!!!!!!#i remember. i think at one point we were talking abt scnearios or something like a long time ago and i think u said somthin like #'i cant wait for when we're irl and u call me hun or honey instead of using my actual name' or somthing like that . and i juts <:]#like yes im absolutely gona prolly call u honey more than i call u maria or pepper ASKLJDJKKLG

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averys-happy-space · 2 years

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club penguin rambles

there are a LOT of images bc the post is abt cp outfits. but also a ton of text bc i talk way too much. also I POSTED THIS ON THE WRONG ACC. I POSTED IT ON MY THEME TESTING BLOG BY ACCIDENT SO I HAD TO REPOST THIS. its the 11pm brain fog getting to me

okay so club penguin released a new clothing catalogue for november and here's my hippie fall outfit i came up with. it's designed around the sweater bc i thought the sweater was super cute but there wasn't any other hand item except guitar that really matched with the outfit. and like yes i could have it without the guitar (which i did do to take the 2nd pic) but i wanna equip a hand item!!! which sounds really stupid bc it is stupid but i'm picky and idc. the sweater IS adorable tho like look at it, its got little puffles on it and shit!!!! fucking adorable!!! and the colour is so pretty and nice too :3c i would buy that sweater if it existed irl. also look at the cool ass ghost puffle!!! their name is goober LMAO i dont rmb why i named them that. i think i was thinking like goofy goober but i already have an orange puffle named goofy ah so i guess thats why i just named this ghost puffle goober? genuinely i have no fucking clue. but i'm gonna keep them around cuz they look dope as fuck and also they match my penguins purple skin colour which i think is neat.

other outfits

since i am making a post abt cp outfits i also decided to add my previous outfits (that i have screenshots of) to this post too just to archive them so i can come back in 10 yrs and be like wow 16 yr old me had horrible fashion taste. (i hope tumblr is still around in 10 yrs. i mean, its lasted 15 yrs, so like whats another 10 right?)

for context:

the first one is one of my earliest outfits which i made with help & advice from moose bc i suck at fashion (thank u moose). i think it looks cool, tho there wasnt like a theme or anything that i was going for. i just liked the hair + jacket and wanted to make an outfit with it lol

the pizza one is from the pizza party event. do not ask me why they had a pizza party event. i have no idea. anyway it was really stupid but fun and i suck at the pizzatron 3000 minigame. i wanted to use a mouse for it but my mom took my mouse when she took my gaming pc so i had to use mac trackpad to play and boy it was Not good. also i gave my puffle jellybean a sombrero which i know is mexican and pizzas are from italy but i didnt know what else to give him!!! plus he looks really stupid cuz the sombrero is massive which i think is cute. oh yea, also i met rookie during the pizza party and i wanted to equip his background but my penguin covers half of rookies body and it didnt look good so i ended up going for this bg instead. its kinda lame but whatever, i still got to meet rookie and thats all that matters <3 (btw, for context, theres lots of npc mascots in the game and every so often they "come online" (its just a bot walking around really) and if u join the same area as them, u get a stamp + bg gift. i met rookie & jetpack guy during the pizza party and got their stamps and gifts but i love rookie more lol, hence why i wanted to use his bg. its too sad it didnt fit nicely bc i think its a p cool bg but oh well)

the bottom two are just variations of each other. basically for the sept or oct catalogue (i forgot which), the cp team added a bunch of punk stuff and i bought all of it bc it actually looked dope as hell. the one on the left came first but i didnt rlly vibe w the hair which is why i ended up changing it. also, the wings are a neck item which is why the first outfit doesn't have the dog tags even tho i wanted them. couldn't have both ): anyway, the second one came about after i got to meet cadence during the music party and i LOVE cadence (i had a massive crush on her when i was younger. like literally shes so pretty?!!) so i got rid of the raven wings so u can see her face in the bg. i can't lie i do think the bg is a bit lame bc its completely empty on the right which makes it feel kinda unbalanced, also u can see i have the cadence signature pin equipped. u can't change the positioning of the pin which sucks bc i would've put it on the right if i could but oh well. and yea i added the dog tags since no more wings. i accidentally clicked jellybean before taking this pic so it sent him home LMAOOO and i couldnt be bothered to get him back at the time so thats why hes missing from the pic. overall i think this outfit is def my favourite, the vibes are just so good. i love punk. oh and also the vampire teeth are bc the catalogue was mainly a halloween theme and well, they looked cool lol

for the record, jellybean is my favourite puffle hence why hes in all these pics. idk why but i just love white puffles, theyre so adorable and smiley despite being shy. also white puffles are slightly smaller than all other puffles which makes them 10x cuter. but i'm gonna keep goober around for a while just cuz they look cool as fuck. but i'll prob switch over back to jellybean when its closer to xmas. anyway its now 1120pm (i spent like half an hour writing this) so im going to sleep. goodnight

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everythingsinred · 2 years

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002 Two contrasting friendships:

KaoruYuka

YukaLuna

oooOOOh very exciting!!!

002

Kaoru & Yuka

When I started shipping them: we'll just address this whole thing thru a more platonic lens even tho i can also ship them romantically lol. i loved kaoru from her entrance and wanted more and more scenes with her so when yuka befriended her i was really happy. my favorite scene with them is when kaoru graduates <3

My thoughts: kaoru was such an important friend to yuka, who always supported her and wanted to help her. yuka also loved kaoru so much that she left her. and neither of them ever stopped thinking about each other: kaoru thought abt yuka so much that she named her son after a fruit to match yuka's daughter <3

What makes me happy about them: their kids have matching names <3 they found each other again <3 they never forgot about each other <3

What makes me sad about them: yuka cutting her hair after finding out about kaoru's death ;-;

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: lol i have RARELY seen fics where kaoru exists at all let alone where she interacts with yuka. i have nothing to base an answer off of. mostly i just dislike when ppl characterize yuka as negligent or abusive to mikan in fics. i guess i see where earlier fics are coming from, when they were written before yuka's backstory but still. it makes me sad. that has nothing to do with kaoru though

Things I look for in fanfic: if a fic has kaoru and yuka present at once and they interact at all PLEASE drop a link i wanna read

My wishlist: i want to see them as cringe, embarrassing moms <3 they shouldve had the chance ;-;

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: im fine with them not being romantic. it wasnt ever a conviction i had, i just like the idea. i like papa hyuuga for kaoru and shiki is my favorite of yuka's love interests so those options would leave me content.

My happily ever after for them: theyre both happy and hanging out in heaven. if they had both lived, id have loved to see them hanging out and embarrassing their kids <3

Yuka & Luna

When I started shipping them: i always tear up when yuka says "nobody has ever asked me to be their friend before" like they were so cute as kids

My thoughts: i genuinely think their friendship is so realistic. middle school absolutely IS the time when that sort of fall out would occur. and luna's insecurities about yuka not really liking her back make a lot of sense and are sadly relatable. they were each other's first real friend and as a result they were immature about their feelings. the esp manipulated luna and encouraged jealousy in her until she hated her with her whole being. he twisted the facts abt yuka's last night and im not okay with luna's actions at all bc (as ive said before) i hate child abusers. that being said, i start to ugly cry when yuka gets caught in the explosion and luna stops using her alice on the fuukitai so they can help her. no i dont approve of u luna but damn ur good at making me cry

What makes me happy about them: i find it so funny how clingy luna was bc she didnt know how to behave with a friend

What makes me sad about them: i am so sad abt luna cutting yuka out bc she didn't know how to behave with a friend

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: not rly anything for them specifically. luna is such a plot device character in most fanfic so im not rly invested in making sure shes not ooc or anything. ive talked abt luna being used to make mikan jealous (and how shes just stretched and bended to fill a specific role) in all sorts of aus and i genuinely have no problem with it like who else are u gonna use? i get it. ive done it too. ive read it and found it enjoyable. go luna as a plot device! u stole the show in the sports festival <3 but again that has nothing to do with yuka and luna as a pairing lol

Things I look for in fanfic: if an au fic EVER had luna and yuka the same age id be genuinely so shocked.

My wishlist: idk if i could ever expect them to be friends again the way they were before, but it would be nice to see them make amends. though im sure luna's more recent actions, like at the sports fest, might further complicate things

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: i dont ship luna with anybody bc im a reasonable person and she doesnt deserve to be with her groomer/abuser.

My happily ever after for them: it would have been nice if yuka and luna had made up before anybody had to die.

#thank u for sending me this!#truly contrasting friendships lol #i still enjoy both lol #but lunas way more problematic lmao #koizumi luna #azumi yuka #igarashi kaoru #ga #answered #ask games #heartsostrings #if anyone is wondering if i forgive luna.... no :)#i just think shes relatable as a kid

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namuneulbo · 2 years

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week forty

we practiced for the concert all day on monday and tuesday.

on tuesday i got some haikyuu stickers from r from the arts department. i offered to buy her a coffee as a thank u so we planned to go sometime within the rest of the week.

wednesday! concert day! we started at 1 pm and the concert started at 8. s wore a really pretty outfit and i was so flustered when i saw her lol i dont remember which day this was but we also played piano together. we played merry-go-round of life, i did right hand and she did left. i was gay panicking so hard. i think im getting a crush on her. shes so pretty w her red underdye and her nails that r always prettily done and her cute little habits and her cute obsession w coffee and sleep. i feel like dressing up and looking pretty at school for her.

concert went alright. i think i couldve sung better but i at least felt somewhat comfortable on stage since it was the second to last song and i sang it together w l. after the concert the teachers treated us w a bunch of snacks. me and l did the bare minimum to road everything. we r the singer stereotype.

thursday! after school i went grocery shopping and picked up some take-out on my way home so i could get some food in my system before my dad came and picked me up. i drove to a city nearby to go look at makeup for halloween. i ended up finding a good lipstick for less than 3€. i still have a mark from swatching the different colors on my hand. i found one in the perfect shade but it was maybelline so i ended up not getting it bc we do not like animal testing ! after shopping we went to my dads girlfriends place. i like his girlfriend, shes really nice. her place was small but nice, it looked really cool and it had like three floors.

i had earlier that day received the black thigh highs i ordered but i didnt have time to try them on until the evening. i received the wrong pair, i ordered patent ones but got matte ones. the shop was nice enough to give me the shoes for free and now im just waiting for my actual shoes to arrive. i like the matte ones too so i dont mind having them too lol

on friday i just had a bass lesson at 11. i really like bass. its a lot of fun and i definitely wanna get my own bass at some point. i went out for the coffee w r in the afternoon. it was more awkward than i expected and it made me kind of lose the remaining respect i had for her heh she only talked abt how her friends angry w her and then dropped the r slur. she just,,, brought my mood down a lot.

later around 5 pm i went back to school to play bass. its so fun, im obsessed!

on saturday i chilled the entire day and then in the evening i went to my brothers place w my dad. we had some drinks and i had like three and a half long drinks and i threw up once i got home. my dad was dogsitting his girlfriends dog so he was w us and omg was he being annoying. i love him but omg does he crave attention.

while at my brothers place we almost had a little game. i gave him a broad genre, like jazz or punk, and he showed me his fav artists within that genre. even if i didnt really care for the music or whatever it was still quite interesting seeing all the different talented musicians and my brother knows sm abt everything so i learnt a lot. my mom picked me up after i tried throwing up for a bit. my brother gave me a glass of water and i shugged that before leaving. ended up throwing up on the street outside our house and then threw up for a bit in the bathroom. i still felt a bit sick and just forced myself to sleep asap. i didnt get a hangover but i did feel weird in my stomach like one tends to do after throwing up lol.

today ive just played sims and watched lineup and smosh lol i started talking to this girl on badoo and shes so smooth and she calls me so many pet names im going to combust (i genuinely accidentally typed ‘cumbust’ and that wouldnt be too far off either). she literally talks like kaeya.

okay i gtg !!!!!!!!

sotw: the realist by onf

#diary #tumblr diary #namuneulbo

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thecloversandtherosethorns · 2 years

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Silver's Letters

These are some of the last Letters Silver wrote to her father before she passed. They're taken from different times in her life and dont have any exact dates. But they are in order basicly. There might be more letters in between them too but this is what we have for now:>

Hello again dad. A bit of a long time since i've written to you. Everything around here has been crazy! I've finally moved together with Anthony! U know the one that I talked abt so much before?? We met again after highschool or maybe in it or something? He is doing so much better now!! It almost doesnt show at all that he's been sick. Maybe only his eyes can tell. They look a bit too knowledgeable for anyone's good. I feel like mine can look like that too sometimes. As if my resting face is just hella depressed, but im not!!! My face never rests for long!! U not being able to be beside me won’t stop me dad!! I'll live the best life ever and u'll be able to read it all if you want to<3 Me and Anthony found a place near St. Magdalena or something like that. Its a rather new city, with very good hospital peeps if u can pay for em. Not that we need that anymore since Anthony is okay now^^ Its pretty but, a bit noisy here. It'll probably calm whenever u become king. In the meantime we'll wear soundblockers;3 and be just fine^^

-Goodbye for now. Hope ur okay. Gotta go to Tony now

Dad!!! Dibdsksb oh The First!! I purposed!!! He said yes!!! Me and Anthony are getting MARRIEEEED oh my god!!!!! He was blushing and crying and i was blushing and crying and oh RCD!!! I really hope u can come! I'll send and invitation with the envelope!! But hey, if u cant then no one will hold it against you dad! Ur always with me! Even tho it only goes one wayX3 Mom never stopped stressing how much love you would give if you were here. Like, she literally still gives me the double amount of hug-time than other parents ever would. Just to give a hug from u to me as well. She's awsome. But damn. I think i'll give her an extra hug too. She was so happy for us!! But i could see an undertone of longing. Or remembering. But ye see ya! Gotta plan a wedding!!

-love, ur daughter, soon to be a wife!

DAD UR A GRANDFATHER NOW!!!!! me and Anthony's son Michael was born yesterday!! He has mom's eyes!!! And our freckles!!! He also has Anothony's spotted ears. We dont know abt his hair yet since he's such a tiny lil alien blob. But he's mine so he is beyond loved and accepted! I just hope I can be a good mother.. I really really hope i can. I bet i will!!! Especially with the help of mom!! And Anthony!! Awwwww he's a father now aaaa. U must feel old now grampsX3

-Love, ur daughter, busy being a mom!

Dad.. To be honest i feel off. I've been feeling off for months now. I think my balance ain't too great. In life i mean. Mom passed away too... I think she wrote to you. I dont wanna get this paper soaked. So back to my balance. We have a 3 year old in the house now. He is a true light! Shining and running around. His smile is absolutely adorable. I see so much of Anthony in the little boy. He says he sees alot of me in all his energy. But again. I think i've lost it a bit. Or i am still losing it? Idk. I think i am working too much. But we need income right? So i cant just not either. I need to feed my 2 little guys. Anthony is working too! He needs to set his feet up high after work tho. Nothing too bad he says. So i really dont think its that bad. I just hope it NEVER escalates or something . .

-Love, Silver

Hi dad. I- Anthony is sick. He cant go anywhere anymore. Sometimes he gets in his wheelchair and plays a bit with Michael, but mostly he's in bed. He is in pain. My love is in pain dad! And idk what to do! I am working my ass off! Trying to take care of Michael too! I am so tired dad. So so tired. I can't get the money Anthony needs. The work payment here is bad. I never realized, but the more dependant we got on our income it seemed to get more and more hopeless. We can't get enough to move either. No matter what we sell or gain. How did i end up here? A 6 year old child and a husband thats... Dying. H-how.. What am i suppost to do? I wish you were here dad! I wish that bitch would let you go!! I hope... You're okay.. Or better than this.. Or idk.. I just hope and pray that someday, me and you can take care of Anthony, take a walk to the playground with michael, and light candles at mom's gravestone.. Wouldn't that be nice dad?

-Love, ur daughter, Silver

. . Hi dad. This is the last letter i write. Not because i dont like writing them, but because, after this there will be nothing more for me to write. Anthony hasn't gotten any better. We still dont have the money to help him. I have no energy left. I can't even stop Mike from crying. He misses his dad. I am a ghost of myself dad. I dont have mom's guidance either. Dear RCD i miss her.. I've always been used to her being here, for me, with me. I can't get over it. I know its silly. As if i'm still just a child... I guess i still am.. Dad.. I am so sorry. I am so sorry i never get to meet you. To give you a pure and proper hug.. I think under the exterior you've made urself as the king, there is a man in great pain. The Borders of the ghost gang here. They're so violent.. I hope Anthony and Mike will be okay after this.. You'll take care of them if you see them right? Promise me. Just like i promised to never give up on ur kindness to mom. And even though i've doupted it after you became king, im still writing to u. So.. I never gave that up. Not even now, when i am giving your daughter up. Her lost life will give the rest of her family enough money. Anthony will be able to get a perminant surgery, and Mike and him will be able to get away from this dump! I will watch over them...

Dad. Just know that even tho u never got the chance to be there for me. You.. You were always here.. Truly. I've ventelated so much to you with these letters over the years. I think you know even more than mom ever did. Not just because she died but, yeah. Its not because of ur absence that you're losing me.. I've just lost the battle so many times. I can’t rise. Not like you and mom. I've never seen your strength in action, but mom said she never matched ur strength. and she was so strong.. I'm sorry you ended up with this child as cliche as it sounds. I am sorry... I will never know.. Dad.. I will never know how good your hugs are.. Or what you're favorite tea that Oscar makes actually smells like. Mom said she never got them right like Oscar did. I will never know how you've been.. How it was.. Living in that prison.. I will never know what your favorite TV show is today.. I will never see you in person. Mom said you had long fluffy hair.. Do you still have that? Heh. We share eyes too. I think they're both very tired. I just hope that u can stay alive for Mike or.. Something. Not do what i am doing.. Dad. I truly and utterly love you. From the bottom of my heart i do. I hope and pray that someone will show you that you deserve proper good love. I am sorry that person will never be me. Goodbye dad. I love you.

-Sincerely, your daughter, Silver Rosethorn Clover

#original character #sad boi hours #family tragedy #letters

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