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jungkookschin · 27 days

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older pt 2

think i need someone older, just a little bit colder, take the weight off your shoulders

synopsis: you're childish, delusional, and you don't know how to accept love. but yes, you will in fact hook up with jungkook before you decide to never speak to him again.

word count: 11k

pairing: older!jungkook x afab reader

genre: age gap au (seven years), SMUT, social media au!!!, childhood acquaintance au, fluff, comedy, angsty, outta pocket, alludes to sexual innuendoes warnings: character death (not jk or y/n), cursing, nudity,

author's note: jungkook is definitely colder in this 😄 yall... i dont think ur gonna like this one 😭✋ idk if there is any redeeming their relationship after this one lmao fkfoskd

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

Jungkook feels his heart sink as he watches your silhouette disappear into the distance. He immediately lifts his gaze to the stars, its cheerful twinkling almost mocking the way he has to physically clench his hand over his heart to assuage the aching pain in his chest. He releases a deep sigh and scrunches his facial features, desperately trying to halt the tears accumulating in his pretty eyes.

It’s not that Jungkook can’t handle rejection. He can. His life experiences surmount yours greatly and he’s been rejected by potential employers, sports teams, his dream school. His masculinity isn’t tarnished by your rejection because he knows love isn’t something to be ashamed of. A love as pure, innocent, and unconditional as his? Expressing that would never be something he would ever regret.

Rather, he regrets putting it off for so long, dragging you on a string instead of explicitly letting you know how deep his feelings run. He had his reasons, though. You were emotionally vulnerable and he didn’t want to take advantage of that. The thought makes him want to roll his eyes into his skull because the situation is difficult and there’s never a correct answer. There's nothing he can do.

Head empty, he thinks he watches the waves crash onto the shore for hours, a cigarette between his fingers and smoke filling his lungs as he attempts to calm his erratic cardiac palpitations. The cold breeze of the night engulfs him completely, and he loses himself under the moonlit sky.

After some time, he doesn’t know how long, Jungkook walks towards the villa. His large figure is only in an oversized black tee and gray sweatshorts, and for some reason he hasn’t felt the way his temperature dropped significantly to mirror the cool breeze. He almost decides to go inside, but his body pulls back and he opts to sit on a lounge chair while he continues to draw the cigarette to his lips.

He doesn’t hear the sliding door open, and he doesn’t sense your presence until you stand before him. He cranes his head to the left and sees you- black mini nightgown on and hair damp from the shower. You’re standing uneasily, left hand rubbing your right elbow as your eyes gaze down at him.

“Can I try?”

Immediately, he scoffs, throwing his cigarette on the ground before he smothers it with his foot.

Expressionless, he looks back at you, fully perceiving your essence and soaking it all in.

Sometimes he can’t believe how utterly beautiful you are. With the moonlight shining down on you, you’re biting your lip anxiously, and he just wants to smother himself in every crevice of your body.

He opens his arms for you.

You gracefully fall into his arms, your bottom resting on the space between his manspread legs, and both your legs resting on his left thigh. He holds your entire body weight with a single arm around your waist.

Regardless of how much you irritate him, or whether you reciprocate the intensity of his love, he’ll always open his arms for you. He’ll let you take him any way you want him. You’re still his best friend, even when you don’t see him or need him the way he sees and needs you.

You bring a palm up to his cheek, his skin texture keratinized but still soft. “You’re freezing,” you mumble, a concerned expression engulfing your features. He says nothing. Instead he sneaks another arm around the circumference of your stomach and rests his forehead against yours.

Your eyebrows furrow, and you hold Jungkook’s face with both your hands. You study his facial features deeply- his large boba eyes, his straight nose, his pouty lips- you love this man.

You close your eyes and press your lips against his. Jungkook reciprocates the kiss with more fervor than you could have ever imagined.

He immediately takes control, and your hands drop to your sides while his large hands cup your cheeks, attempting to devour you wholly. His tongue slides into your mouth, and yours into his, mouths fusing together as you infinitely intertwine your desires. Jungkook sucks your tongue into his mouth, leaving you to mewl and moan into his mouth as he quite literally leaves you breathless. You don’t realize how he subtly maneuvers you so that you’re lying underneath him until he brings both arms above your head and secures both of your wrists with his hand. His other hand creeps underneath your nightgown, gently kneading and squeezing the fat around your waist. You mewl out, panting underneath him and Jungkook takes this as an opportunity to rub his tongue against yours as he continues playing with your body.

“Wait- Jungkook- '' you moan out, “your hands are cold.”

Jungkook draws back, inhaling deeply as he restrains himself from you. Licking his lips, he peers down at you and feels his heart stop.

You’re the most gorgeous woman he’s ever seen.

The moonlight dimly illuminates your features and body, and your silhouette leaves the faint shadow of your perfect body. Hair perfectly splayed against the lounge chair, you squirm against the lounge chair, chest heaving up and down, all hot and bothered. Your chest pokes against the thin fabric of your nightgown, and your nightgown slides up against the expanse of your thighs, white lace panties revealing themselves.

Sometimes he wants to lock you up in his room forever, keeping you to himself so no other person has the privilege of laying their eyes on you.

Licking his lips, he bends over to pick you up, bridal style, before he stumbles into your shared room in the villa. You find yourself on top of him, straddling his mid region while his hands gently massage the fat on your waist, rub up and down your thighs, kneading the flesh of your bottom. Your lips are magnetized, moving in tandem as his tongue languidly explores your mouth.

The way Jungkook kisses is consuming, intense as he devours you completely. You feel that you are incapable of keeping up with him, his strong arms maneuvering you against his body as he overwhelms you with the way his mouth consumes yours. His tongue explores the inside of your mouth, and you have half the mind to reflect on how dirty it is- the way he has no qualms about burying himself in the impure parts of your body.

Simultaneously, you have no qualms about bearing the impure parts of your body to him. You want him to see you in every disgusting and nasty way possible. You’ve never been with anyone as skillful and passionate as him. The way his large hands run up and down your body make you feel so safe and secure. It’s like he’s a water-deprived man wandering the desert and you’re the mirage of an island paradise, except you’re real and he can touch you, feel you. Your body feels so soft against his rough hands and he’s bathing in the sweet scent of your shampoo.

He draws back momentarily to admire you. Your pretty features, the way you’re left breathless, and the way he can see himself in your gorgeous eyes. “Baby, you’re so beautiful,” he utters.

Baby. That stupid nickname he always uses. That stupid nickname that pissed you off because it meant that he only saw you as a kid, as a child. You always wanted him to see you as a woman.

Now, he says it differently and it makes your chest tighten.

He drops his head and presses kisses to the sensitive spot on your neck that sends shivers throughout your whole body.

“Your breath smells good,” you mutter, trying to distract yourself from the overstimulating sensation of Jungkook sucking hickeys on your neck. Jungkook is pretty uptight about his hygiene. You can tell about the countless skincare, oralcare, and beauty products on the vanity of your shared bathroom.

“Even though I smoked?” he asks teasingly, pulling back to gaze at you.

“I don’t mind. I wanna smoke with you but you’d never let me” you sheepishly respond.

Jungkook looks right at you stoically, shaking his head. “You’re too precious. Don’t want anything to happen to your cute little princess lungs.” He gently holds your face and draws your lips towards his, like he’s trying to drown you in his love. Your eyes flutter and shirt and you attempt to mimic his passion.

He pulls back. “But you can do anything you want. You’re a grown woman.”

You shake your head. “I would never do anything to upset you.”

He playfully scoffs at that. “My ass.”

You raise a brow at him, “I’m serious. Anything for you. Any time and anywhere.” Your fingertips trace down his body, down his chest, the hard ridges of his abs, and towards the bulge painfully straining against his pants.

He sighs like Atlas, holding up the weight of the world to restrain himself from succumbing to the desires running through his mind.

“We don’t have to do anything- whatever you’re comfortable with. ” he mutters and you shudder at the sensation of his hot breath.

“I always dreamed of being with you,” is all you respond with. His eyes trace down your pretty features to your lips, pink, pretty, swollen, and coated in his saliva. His heart skips a beat.

You become more relaxed when his fingers carefully brush the strands from your face, “It has to be you. Please. I’m good at this. I’ll make you feel so good. Let me show you. Please,” you plead.

Tattooed fingers rise to squeeze your cheeks so your lips cutely pucker out. He feels like that’s the craziest thing he’s ever heard, but the way you’re begging, pleading for him sends a chilling sensation running through his body. “Don’t worry about that baby. I’m going to do all the work. I’m gonna take care of you- all you have to do is feel good.”

And feel good you did. Seven hours later, you abruptly wake from your brief one hour nap. Jungkook’s strong arms are still tightly wrapped around your waist. His body is hot like a furnace considering how his chest burns against your back. He’s latched around you so tightly that you’re unable to remove yourself from his embrace.

“Where you going baby?” he mumbles, morning voice deep and husky.

“I didn’t take a piss yet,” you respond, rubbing your eyes.

“You did. I carried you to the bathroom and made you pee, so stay with me longer.”

Jungkook ignores your scandalous gasp and pulls you closer so you’re lying chest to chest. “My body is sore,” you murmur into his neck.

“I know baby,” Jungkook responds against your forehead, eyes still fluttered shut. “I’m sorry, it’s my fault. I’ll give you a massage later.”

“How am I gonna hide my hickeys?” you innocently question further, suddenly recalling the details of last night’s events.

Jungkook was so mind-numbingly sweet and gentle, whispering sweet everythings into your hair while he filled you with mind-numbing pleasure.

“You’re so gorgeous, beautiful.”

“Wanna do this with you forever and ever.”

“You have no fucking idea what you do to me.”

You sink further into the mattress and nuzzle closer to Jungkook.

“I’ll give you my hoodie, baby,” he mumbles in response, “Don’t want the guys to know,” he turns on his back and stretches his arms while yawning, “They shouldn’t even perceive you as this way,” he shrugs, regaining his normal voice.

“Okay,” you mumble, allowing the tranquil of quietness to wash over you both.

“Wanna shower together?” he suddenly perks up, smiling at you crazily with a combination of love and lust in his eyes.

You don’t grace him with a response, shooting up and walking to the shower, knowing fully that Jungkook was admiring your bare backside.

Your back rests against the chilly surface of the bathtub, a direct juxtaposition to how the sizzling water filling up the tub begins to warm your aching body. Jungkook on the other side of the tub has your foot in his hand, admiring you while sweetly kneading and pressing into the tender muscles in your foot.

“Did I go too hard on you baby?” he asks sweetly, lips churning up as he admires you from the opposing side of the tub.

You playfully scoff and sink further into the tub, mouth blowing bubbles into the water. You could only take so much. Your eyes run up and down his body, Jungkook smirking at the way you shamelessly check him out. His chest and abs are on display, beads of water scattered around his body. He looks like a statue, hair faintly damp from the water.

“‘m sore, but that’s on me. You were very gentle. Thank you baby,” you say tenderly, to which Jungkook responds by pressing a soft kiss on the top of your foot, cheekily smiling at the use of your own nickname against him.

“Foot fetish,” you giggle, to which Jungkook responds by lifting your foot towards his mouth and pressing a kiss to your big toe.

“Only for yours. They’re cute, all painted and shit,” he says with a mouth full of toe.

“You’re such a barbarian,” you tease.

“You like it,” he responds sneakily.

You draw your foot back and throw yourself onto him, your chests rubbing against each other before your lips mold with his. He closes his eyes and holds you close to his body, his large hand wrapping around the circumference of your thigh and pulling you so that your legs wrap around his large torso. He moans into your mouth and kisses you as messily and hungrily as he did last night.

You pull back breathlessly. “I do. I like everything you do.”

“Here you go Tae,” you say before handing Taehyung a plate of eggs and bacon. All the guys are sitting on the sofas around the large TV, engrossed watching a livestream of the summer Olympics.

“Thanks,” Taehyung mindlessly responds, taking the plate with his eyes glued to the TV.

You can imagine Jungkook’s confusion when he watches you serve each and every one of his friends their own customized breakfast platters while leaving him with nothing but the occasional uncomfortable glance.

All his friends are entirely engrossed with athlete An-San shooting in the finals of the women’s archery competition, and though he’s extremely prideful in his country, he’s unable to focus because he’s scrutinizing the way you fidget in the loveseat.

You’re wearing his hoodie to hide the lovemarks Jungkook scattered on your body- the same body that was pressed against his mere minutes ago. But for some reason, you can’t even meet his gaze.

Jungkook tries not to overanalyze the situation because he realizes how overwhelming this all can be for you. Both of you are aware that there’s no going back after last night and he hopes your strange behavior is only because it’s taking a little bit to process everything.

A sudden gasp from your lips pulls everyone’s attention away from the screen.

“I have an assignment due in an hour! Mingyu oppa, can you help me? It’s a coding assignment,” you express with urgency shooting up from your seat.

Mingyu’s eyes dart towards Jungkook, the literal Computer Science expert of the group, but Mingyu wouldn’t turn you down so he stands up and wipes his palms on his jeans. Jungkook opens his mouth to say something but it never comes out.

“Yea sure,” Mingyu agrees, timidly following you into your room, looking back at Jungkook once.

After returning from the villa, he was almost sure that you would start dating after a questionable awkward phase. When he recalls the night spent with you, he feels chills all over his body. There was no way you didn’t feel the same. There was no way you wouldn’t come back to him.

He would wait for you to graduate before he proposed. Your wedding would be intimate, celebrated exclusively with your loved ones but still luxurious. He had the money for it, after all. Jungkook’s income greatly exceeds the needs of a single man in his twenties and he had more than enough money and was eager to splurge on you. Pretty dresses, designer purses, Dior lip gloss, pilates classes, he would assuredly take care of you for the rest of your life.

If you wanted to pursue higher education and get your master’s degree, he would finance it completely. If you wanted to move to a different city, he would take you there and find a nice place for you both- anywhere you wanted, he could make it happen. If you wanted to have kids, he would ensure that you had the most healthy and comfortable pregnancy. He would take care of everything. You didn’t even need to lift a finger.

How can you pretend you don’t want him when you begged for him, when you said you would do anything to please him? When you claimed to love him for years?

You avoid him like he is the bubonic plague. On the way back from the villa, you rode with Taehyung instead of Jungkook. And when you reached home, you went straight to Yunjin’s place and haven’t returned for a week straight.

Jungkook’s texts remained unanswered, and he’s upset beyond belief. He doesn’t want to paint you in a negative light so he keeps everything to himself. The only thing he can do is go to the gym and immerse himself in physical pain to distract himself from the mental pain.

“I’m moving out,” you bluntly announce, catching Jungkook completely off guard. After a week, you finally return to Jungkook’s apartment, not even gracing him with a greeting before bursting through his doors and dropping this bomb on him.

Jungkook scoffs, throwing his gaming controller to the side, shutting off the TV before turning to you. He sways his head to the side to swoop his bangs out of his face and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Is that all you have to say to me? Sit down,” he chastises, pointing to the recliner.

You cross your arms and frown at him, but nonetheless acquiesce, sitting on the recliner next to Jungkook’s sofa.

Jungkook, who always reciprocates your fervor and passion, glares at you with more disappointment than you could ever shoot at him, ignoring the cute pout on your lips and your clumsy attempt at appearing intimidating.

“Are you going to ignore me forever? Have I ever made you feel like you can’t talk to me about things? Don’t I always listen to you? Care for you?” His emotions spill out, perhaps more harsh than he intended. He almost feels like he has to clutch his heart to assuage the raging pain in his chest because Jungkook just loves you so much. He always put you above others, even when things were strictly platonic.

“Yes you do, and that’s the point!” you retort, shooting up and gesturing dramatically with your hands, “It’s suffocating to always have you here! I feel so useless and stupid when I’m around you.”

Jungkook tongues his cheek against the inside of his mouth, impatiently tapping his foot while he squints his eyes and processes everything you’re saying. “So you feel like I suffocate you?”

“I didn’t say that. I said that it’s suffocating, not that you’re suffocating me,” you huff.

Jungkook laughs to himself, completely invalidating your emotions. His eyes settle on you, and his eyes turn cold. It’s like Jungkook’s presence has full reign over the room’s disposition, because the room turns cold too.

“Y/N.”

Your eyes uncomfortably flick towards every corner of the room. “Umm.. yea?”

“What’s the name of your health insurance provider?”

A wave of silence washes over the room and you immediately crimson. You have no fucking clue. Yea, you see what he’s getting at, and you wish you could physically wipe the smug look on his face. Jungkook can scarcely perceive the tears pricking your lash line.

“You’re such a dick,” you mumble, letting yourself sink into the leather of the seat.

He ignores you and bitterly nods his head. “Okay fine. Move out. Where are you gonna get the money to pay rent, Ms. Unemployed?” The sarcasm laced in his voice hits you like an arrow.

You huff once again, inflating with anger before you explode, “If you didn’t know, fucking asshole, my parents died in a car accident and left me a lot of fucking money!” you scream.

He blinks back at you, completely unimpressed, making you feel stupid for blowing up at him.

You practically weaponized your parents’ death to gain sympathy from him and he’s clearly as apathetic as ever, “So where’s the money at? I’ve been here this whole time and I haven’t seen any money,” he points out, “If I knew you were loaded I would have charged you for rent since you wanna be little Ms. Independent,” he mocks.

Your jaw drops again at the rashness of his words. You bring your knees to your chest and twiddle with a strand of hair. “You’re being mean,” you mumble into your knees.

“And you’re being selfish,” he bluntly responds.

“Whatever. Fuck you. I just came to get my shit,” you shoot up and march into your room, beginning to throw your clothes into your abnormally large suitcase.

“Yea?” you hear Jungkook’s voice echo from the living room, “And who’s gonna help you carry your shit down the stairs?”

“Fuck you!” you yell back, face turning red with anger.

Jungkook leans against the doorframe of your win, watching you haphazardly throw everything into your suitcase, reveling in the way tears are flowing down your cheeks and how your chest heaves up and down.

“Is Yunjin going to be your roommate?”

“Yes,” you angrily mutter, sniffling and wiping your nose. No matter how angry you are, you have the compulsion to answer any and every question he asks.

“Just her?” he continues his interrogation and you continue to respond.

“No. Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Soobin, Sunghoon, Heeseung.”

“Who the fuck is that?” his words come out more harsh than intended.

“Sunghoon is just a boy in one of my classes and Heeseung is his best friend. Heeseung is also one of Beomgyu’s childhood best friends so it’s fine,” you say, as if Jungkook is your guardian and you’re trying to rationalize your impulsive actions.

“Is he the boy you were facetiming at the villa?”Jungkook questions, not missing the way you pause momentarily.

“Yes. He’s just a friend,” you express, opening the dresser drawer to pull out your intimates. Mostly granny panties but Jungkook raises a brow at the black and red lingerie you try to crumple in your hands.

“That for me?”

You raise your head to look at him, red face with anger before you chuck the lingerie at his face. Jungkook remains stoic and unphased when the lace fabric hits his chest and lands on the floor.

You end up leaving his place in tears, pushing him to the side while you clumsily drag your heavy suitcase from his place. Jungkook almost steps forward to carry your bag for you, but he denies his impulse and simply watches you leave. When your car disappears in the distance, he goes straight to your room and lies down on the mattress, falling asleep while your scent is still fresh.

“What happened with you and Y/N?” The casualty of Mingyu’s words punctures Jungkook’s heart like an arrow. He immediately deflates at the mention of your name, glancing downwards and stirring his beer with his straw.

Taehyung and Mingyu shoot each other knowing glances from each side of the restaurant booth.

Taehyung steadily redirects his attention towards his best friend. “She moved out, right?” An uncomfortable pause washes over, “Did you guys fight?”

Jungkook shakes his head, using his chopsticks to turn the meat sizzling on the tabletop grill. “She just… wants to be more independent,” he says, purposely condensing the situation in seven words, with care, so as to not antagonize you in front of his friends.

Tutting his tongue, Mingyu shakes his head empathetically, “I’m genuinely sorry to hear that…” he momentarily trails off, “Are you okay?”

Before Jungkook can respond, Taehyung shoves a piece of meat in Jungkook’s mouth with his chopsticks. “Hey. Remember who you are. Don’t let a girl fuck with your self respect.”

Jungkook, resembling a bunny with a mouth full of carrots, swallows and looks directly into his friend’s eyes. “You know she’s not just a girl to me.”

“I know,” Taehyung quickly responds, meeting his friend’s gaze with corresponding gravity, “I love Y/N too. But that doesn’t mean you let her actions dictate the quality of your life.”

Jungkook squints his eyes at Taehyung and sets his chopsticks on the table, sighing deeply, “You know I actually said some pretty childish shit to her.”

“Like what? It couldn’t have been that bad,” Mingyu reasons.

“I’d rather not repeat it,” Jungkook mumbles, rubbing the nape of his neck, “She said she wanted to move out, that she felt suffocated by me. Shit pissed me off so I was harsh on her and she hasn’t spoken to me in like a month.”

It took Jungkook a good 24 hours to realize that you weren’t on the same page as him. It was horribly presumptuous to assume so in the first place. Perhaps Jungkook mistook your devotion towards him as love, and not what it actually was: hedonistic infatuation. You yourself most likely mistook your obsession for love, because he knows you’re too kind hearted to purposely mislead him. After that night, you were probably filled with a whirlwind of confusion- maybe because actually being with Jungkook didn’t feel as good as fantasizing about it did.

In other words, you were obsessed with the chase and not with him.

Well, that probably meant you both are fucked because you already slept together and now there was no going back.

“I mean…” Mingyu begins, “Y/N’s like what? 20? She probably doesn’t want to be tied down to anything.”

Jungkook bitterly shakes his head and shuts his eyes, “I should have figured.”

“Sleeping around, doing drugs, partying, getting drunk,” Mingyu lists, counting off with his fingers, “She probably shouldn’t be doing those things, but isn’t that what we did when we were in college?”

“That’s true,” Taehyung concurs, side-eyeing Jungkook’s reaction, “We did do all that when we were 20.”

Jungkook visibly winces.

“And I know you love her,” Mingyu continues, “but right now she clearly isn’t in the headspace to healthily engage romantically with you, so live your own life and let her live hers.”

Jungkook sighs and slaps both hands over his face, hoping that the skin of his palms absorbs the tears prickling his waterline. “I just love her, you know? And the thought of her going through a hoe phase or getting with another guy just hurts,” he explains, allowing his hands to fall back on the table, “I think I’d kill him. I really would.”

“When I’m with her, when we’re together- I don’t know how to explain it- I would do anything for her. Haven’t I done anything for her? I would give her everything if she’d let me,” he unloads, “She just makes me so happy- never even thought I could feel this way- and being without her just sucks so bad.”

“You have done everything for her Koo,” Taehyung comforts, “but you do it because you love her, right? Not because you want anything in return.”

“I want her to at least talk to me, or acknowledge me…” Jungkook mutters, grimacing when a random thought appears in his mind, “Should I just enlist?”

It’s meant light heartedly- he’s half-joking, partially serious. He can’t fathom not having you after getting a taste. He’d rather put himself through the physical anguish of boot camp and military training. It was mandatory for all Korean men anyways.

“You’re going to leave your life behind for a year and a half because Y/N is ignoring you?” Mingyu articulates, making Jungkook realize how ridiculous the assertion is.

“Hey hey, that’s not a bad idea,” Taehyung opposes, “Go serve our country and get your mind off a few things. You have to enlist anyway.”

“Look. Go if you want. But don’t just go because of Y/N. C’mon. You’re better than that,” Mingyu rationalizes.

“I don’t know. It’s just an idea,” Jungkook murmurs, banging his head onto the table.

Silence washes over as the three simply enjoy their meal, not allowing dialogue to intrude on the delicious, savory, and expensive meat entering their mouths.

Taehyung pulls out his phone, and a few moments later his eyes widen, “Oh shit,” Taehyung utters

“What?” Jungkook and Mingyu question simultaneously.

Taehyung turns his phone around and shows them a random instagram story.

The image posted on Yunjun's story shows a man and a woman in bed, with the caption "Ewwwwwwww"

Sure enough, it was your glasses on the bedside table, your blanket draped over the sheets, and your clothes scattered across the floor. His eyebrows furrow thoroughly as he scrutinizes the screen.

Jungkook begins the enlistment process that night.

You’ve settled into your new home and have been living there comfortably for a few weeks. One perk to having six roommates is that you’re never bored. Yunjin will drop by every other night to indulge in overly meticulous, and probably more harmful, skincare routines. The boys occasionally call you to the living room to play board games or video games, which usually end in drunk laughter and the production of a chaotic, happy memory.

One of those nights is right now. Truth or drink is a stupid game- super childish, only really played in Wattpad fanfictions and movie adaptations of those same fanfics- but Heeseung suggested it and who really gives a fuck? Right now is the era of recklessness, chaos, and living with full abandonments of regret.

The seven of you sit in a circle with a bottle of vodka and seven shot glasses in the middle. Yunjin is right next to you, as usual, giggling with no thoughts on her mind since she has refused to answer any of the questions. The girl seriously lives a life of secrecy.

Amidst the giggles and laughter of your friends, you begin to smile too. Beomgyu admits that he caught feelings for a one night stand. Yeonjun admits that he catfished a frat boy as a Discord kitten. Heeseung admits that he already snuck someone into the house. But really, it’s not as fun when you’re being interrogated.

“Y/N,” Heeseung blatantly calls you out. You smile haughtily at him, your brows raising like you’re daring him to ask a question.

“Hmmm, okay, I’ll go easy on you,” he teases, “When was the last time you kissed someone?” he asks, and your smile drops.

You gasp and it’s like you’re sucked into a whirlpool of memories. Memories of Jungkook holding you like he would never see you again, whispering the sweetest, mind-chilling things in your ear while you bore the most intimate and vulnerable parts of yourself to him.

You haven’t disclosed that part of your life to anyone, because it was so intimate and you hold it so dearly to your heart.

Yunjin nudges you, “Hey, you okay?”

You shake your head. This is supposed to be fun. Everybody here is revealing their dark secrets and a kiss isn’t even a big deal. You have to play your part too.

You shake your head. “I’m fine,” you smile, “It was probably like, a month ago? I wanna say?” you ponder aloud, making everyone erupt into ooh’s and ahh’s.

Yunjin gasps scandalously. “You kissed someone and didn’t tell me? You whore!”

You giggle and nudge her back. “You literally have not answered a single question asked!”

And supposedly, you two are so immersed in banter between each other, you don’t notice the other tension zapping around the room. Uncomfortable glances flicker around the room, and Sunghoon grimaces, willingly taking a shot of vodka.

“Was it Jungkook? Did you finally pull him?” Yeonjun blurts out, rising to his feet.

You playfully stand up and push him. “Hey! It’s not your turn to ask a fucking question!” you slur, “It’s my turn!”

“If Y/N kissed him, we would’ve definitely heard about it,” Beomgyu mumbles. A lightbulb shows up above his head. “Wait- was it Mingyu?” he questions further.

“Mingyu is so hot,” Soobin productively inserts into the conversation.

“It’s not your guys’ turn!” you whine, before clearing your throat and composing yourself, “Sunghoon!” you call out, pointing at him for the dramatic effect, “Is there a girl you’ve got on your mind right now?” the question spills out and Yunjin is the only one who claps in anticipation.

Sunghoon shifts uncomfortably in his seat, pouring a shot into the glass and downing it nearly immediately.

You scandalously gasp, a light bulb appearing above your head as you put the puzzle pieces together. “No way- do you- are you- are you into Yunjin?” you beseech and Yunjin mirrors your scandalous gasp.

“No way!” she drunkenly slurs, “Sorry Sunghoon- I just- I just don’t see you like that, but you are a really handsome, and there’s no doubt that you’ll find a girl soon,” she slurs, soliciting a laugh from some of the other guys and a playful scoff from Sunghoon, who just throws a pillow at her.

A few rounds later, you find yourself becoming more intoxicated with the amounts of shots you’ve taken, mostly because you refuse to answer any juicy questions about your sex life. You learned some pretty nasty details about your friends that had you squealing and hiding behind the throw pillows.

Eventually, Soobin throws another question at you. “Y/N!” He points at you, a shot glass in his hand, “Do you think you’ll ever get over Jungkook?”

Yeonjun spits out his drink, prompting Yunjin to pull out her phone to show Heeseung and Sunghoon Jungkook’s instagram. Photos of him and his friends litter the screen, some of him shirtless at the gym, some with his friends, and some with you. One at your high school graduation with your diploma in hand and your cap on Jungkook’s head. Another photo at the beach, with you in the middle and his friends evenly dispersed on both of your sides.

“Good question Soobin!” Beomgyu exclaims, clapping his hands in agreement. Sunghoon lifts his eyes uncomfortably from the screen to gauge your expression.

What he didn’t expect was you to hold up the vodka bottle and chug.

All you want to do is chug your feelings away. Chug your thoughts away.

You want your head to be empty so you can’t possibly think about Jungkook and how you hurt him, so you don’t think about the dozens of texts he’s sent and how they’ve all been left on Read. You can’t even fathom the possibility of losing him, and you think you’re treading along that path.

You’re horrible.

“Holy shit Y/N, stop!” Beomgyu screeches, practically tackling you and swiping the bottle from your hands.

“She’s finally lost her shit!” Yeonjun exclaims, like he’s been expecting this to happen for years (?)

Heeseung and Sunghoon exchange glances, and it fills Sunghoon with the faintest sense of apprehension.

Obviously, Sunghoon is into you. You’re too stupid, dense, and probably selfish to realize but Sunghoon is really into you, and everybody knows it except for you and your equally dumb friend Yunjin.

After moving in, it didn’t take a while for the guys in the house to catch on. Sunghoon remembers the… odd confrontation quite vividly.

Beomgyu, Soobin, and Yeonjun cornered Sunghoon against the kitchen wall when he returned home from university, bombarding him with invasive questions.

“Did you only agree to move in because you wanna fuck Y/N?” Beomgyu, in his typical unhinged manner, spat at Sunghoon.

Sunghoon's brows furrowed in bewilderment as the words bounced around his mind. "Wait, what?" he echoed, his features contorted in pure confusion.

Yeonjun couldn't help but facepalm at Beomgyu's straightforwardness before nudging him with his whole frame. "Okay, listen," Yeonjun interjected, "what Beomgyu is trying to ask is, do you have feelings for Y/N?"

Without hesitation, Sunghoon affirmed, "Yes, I do. I really like her."

Caught off guard by Sunghoon's quick response, Yeonjun and Soobin exchanged suspicious glances, prompting Sunghoon to offer further clarification. "But it's not what you guys think," he hurriedly explained. "It's a genuine, innocent “like”... I just want to treat her right. I'm not looking to pursue anything physical."

Soobin, Yeonjun, and Beomgyu visibly relaxed, exchanging nods of understanding among themselves..

"Got it, man," Soobin reassured Sunghoon with a pat on the back. "We're rooting for you. Let us know if anything develops."

Sunghoon snaps back to the present amidst the chaotic screams, witnessing you and Beomgyu wrestle over the bottle of vodka. You slur your words, “Fucking asshole! Give it back!”

Sensing a pertinent gaze upon him, he locks eyes with Yeonjun, who subtly motions towards you.

Immediately, Sunghoon gets the message.

Yeonjun clears his throat, “Beomgyu, just take it easy. Let’s all calm down for a moment.” His voice is compelling, and you loosen your grip on the bottle just for Beomgyu to snatch it from your hand and spill it to the floor.

You scream.

“How could you do that?!” you slur, “Beomgyu! M-my alcohol! I’m nothing without my alchohol-”

Soobin lets out an exasperated sigh and rises to intervene, gently guiding Beomgyu away from the chaotic scene before motioning for Sunghoon to attend to your intoxicated state. Meanwhile, Heeseung leads Yunjin to her room.

That evening, Sunghoon assumes the role of caretaker, tending to you with unwavering patience and kindness eerily similar to Jungkook’s. Too bad that you weren’t in the proper state of mind to even realize what’s happening.

He carefully carries you to your room, ensuring you're comfortable before tenderly tucking you into bed.

If anybody else saw him, they’d think he’s pathetic. Taking care of a girl who’s drunk over another man is nearly unfathomable- but he’s doing it because he wants it all. He wants the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, if it means that he’s doing it with you.

One downside to having six roommates (especially ones that like to party) is that it’s really fucking loud all the time.

It’s not that you don’t like to party. You were always the first to buy tickets to a rave or a music festival.

But these days, it feels like you’ve aged one hundred years because you’d rather spend Friday nights cuddled up with your plushies instead of around people. You like to joke that Sunghoon is your twin because he often locks himself in his room when your roommate’s throw parties.

You think you’ll visit him this time, so you wrap a blanket around your frame and knock on his door. “It’s me!” you yell through the wood, and you hear the swivel of a gaming chair, footsteps, and the door unlocking before it swings open. “Hey,” he smiles at you, and you’re suddenly hyper aware of the beauty marks littering his face.

“Hey,” you take a step in, and Sunghoon closes the door behind you and locks it. “Wanna hang?” you ask sweetly.

He laughs, plopping back on his gaming chair. “Not joining the party?”

You plop on his bed, using your blanket to cover your body so you don’t ruin the perfect sheeting on his bed. Sunghoon’s room can be described in one word: clean. His bed is always pristinely made, PC desk and school desk always acutely organized, and clothes folded neatly in his closet. His gaming setup is quite intricate, two PC’s he built himself with wires and hardware looping intricately through his desk and the computers. He has a flat screen TV hung on the wall in front of his bed and a mini fridge in the corner filled with Diet cokes and ice cream sandwiches.

Completely different from Heeseung’s room.

“I’m exhausted from last night. Aren’t you? I don’t remember anything” you explain, grabbing the remote on his nightstand so you can turn the TV on.

Sunghoon laughs at that, typing away on his light up keyboard while his mouse swivels around the mousepad, playing some FPS game. “You’re a lightweight, Y/N. I remember everything.”

You wave your hand nonchalantly. “Not at all. Not at all. I can handle my liquor better than all of you combined.”

“Uh-huh.” He stands up and walks over to his mini fridge, taking out a Diet coke for himself. “Want an ice cream sandwich?-”

You gasp and immediately nod your head vigorously, slightly resembling a puppy panting for water. Sunghoon thinks you’re adorable. You don’t know that he’s never cared for ice cream sandwiches. He buys them solely for you and saves them for whenever you unexpectedly drop by.

He throws one at you and smiles when you enthusiastically breathe it in. He plops down by you on the gaming chair, putting his feet up on the bed. You put on Ninjago and you both share on the screen, occasionally sharing stupid memes between episode breaks.

After finishing up Season 5, the music seems louder than ever, and you groan into his pillows. “Oops sorry, I got some makeup on your pillow-”

“Y/N, I need to tell you something,” Sunghoon suddenly articulates, and you cock your head in curiosity.

“Don’t get mad at me about the pillow, though,”

“It’s fine,” Sunghoon laughs, “but I just- I just feel like I gotta tell you this.”

“Okay,” you implore, tugging on the loose strings of his sheets, “Go on.”

“Y/N, I like you.”

Oh.

“And last night, when we were doing Truth or Drink, I felt like the guys made that evidently clear, but you’re into you didn’t realize, did you? You were too wasted.”

Sunghoon's confession hangs in the air, his words heavy with vulnerability. Your heart skips a beat as you process the unexpected declaration.

You nod in concurrence, “I had no idea.”

But before the moment can fully settle, Sunghoon's expression shifts, his features clouded with uncertainty. "Are you into that old guy… Jungkook?" he asks hesitantly, his voice laced with a tinge of sadness.

Your heart sinks as you realize the direction of the conversation. Memories of Jungkook flood your mind, the warmth of his smile and the depth of your connection weighing heavily on your conscience.

"Yeah," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "I am."

Sunghoon's smile fades, replaced by a somber acceptance. "I figured as much," he murmurs, a hint of resignation in his tone.

Silence envelops the room, the weight of unspoken emotions lingering between you. Despite this, there is a mutual understanding: Sunghoon never had a chance.

After a moment of heavy silence, you clear your throat, your gaze shifting to the floor, “I should go.”

Sunghoon nods, unable to find the right words to ease the tension. "Yeah, okay," he replies softly.

As you make your way to the door, Sunghoon pauses, hesitating for a moment before speaking up. "I hope things work out for you and Jungkook," he says, a small, wistful smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"Thank you, Sunghoon," you murmur, a lump forming in your throat.

And that’s the end of that. Clearly, there is no chemistry between you and Sunghoon and it just never was going to ever work out. 😀

Despite how you convince yourself that you don’t want him- your heart will never be able to deny him. Your very soul yearns for him and to deprive yourself of him is to deprive yourself of your greatest longing.

Jungkook feels the same way, and you’re not ready for him.

You want to disappear.

A glance into everything makes you look like the crazy bitch, and you’re very self aware of that. You had the man you’ve been in love with your whole life wrapped around your fingers, and you let go of that.

Granted, you are a crazy bitch, but you certainly have your reasons for behaving the way you do.

The very sudden death of both your parents lead you to the crippling realization that everything is temporary. You find yourself dreaming of being enfolded in Jungkook’s warmth, his strong arms your protection against the scary, cold world. Then, like he was never there in the first place, he disappears, leaving you to be sucked into the violent, dark void.

You know how difficult, unhinged, crazy you can be at times, and while Jungkook knows you like no other, you don’t think he’s completely perceived the disarray engulfing your life. You doubt that he’d stick around for the long run once he discovers who you truly are. He’s taken care of you up to now, and you have no intention of relying- no- burdening him for the rest of your life.

You want to stop being so damn soft, so incapable of controlling your emotions all the time. You want to be someone who can handle herself.

Then again, Jungkook is the greatest temptation in your life. The way he protects you, the way he becomes so gentle with you- you crave him desperately.

But the only way to truly have him, to be truly deserving of him is, in other words: to grow the fuck up and be a woman deserving of him. How will you do that? You don’t know.

After your parents passed away, you’ve been a mess. Your GPA went to shit, and it took months for you to find the will to brush your teeth and shower everyday. That’s disgusting. If anything, you were more of Jungkook’s charity case than Jungkook’s girlfriend.

You’re really trying- but if you aren’t even capable of taking care of yourself, how will you be capable of taking care of someone as perfect and capable as him? It makes you want to curl into a fetal position and die.

However, given the intimate bond of your family connections, you understand that Jungkook will forever remain a significant presence in your life. Despite your efforts to ignore him, to pretend like he doesn’t exist- he’ll always be there like a pillar unless he gets struck by lightning and dies which MAY be possible considering that your parents also died unexpectedly (😀).

The next time you see Jungkook is at his parents’ anniversary party. His parents consider you their first daughter, which may or may not be strange considering that means that Jungkook could technically be your brother- but nonetheless the notion is intrinsically sweet and it makes you feel like you’ll always have a second family.

No matter where you stand with Jungkook, you’ll always show up for his parents (and for him), which is why you’re all dolled up for the party.

Usually, you’d bring Yunjin as your plus one, but she’s got another family engagement so you bring your next best man Yeonjun.

You've yet to divulge the personal intricacies of what transpired between you and Jungkook to your friends, but you reckon that Yeonjun will catch on simply by observing your dynamic at the party.

Jungkook’s parents like to keep it simple; they opt for hosting a barbeque party at their house, and of course, their handsome son is responsible for grilling the meat.

You sport a casual look: sneakers and a black sundress while Yeonjun wears a black button up and jorts. In a sense, you kind of resemble a couple, but you don’t even realize that you’re matching until Jungkook’s aunt makes an incriminating comment.

“My my!” Jungkook’s aunt exclaims, pulling you in for a hug. She always reminds you of Winnie the Pooh; she’s so soft and cuddly. “Y/N! You look so gorgeous!” She does a double take after catching a glimpse of Yeonjun, “and is this your boyfriend? He’s so handsome!”

You’d expect Yeonjun to gag, but he keeps it professional, “Oh not at all auntie,” Yeonjun clarifies, waving his hands, “We’re just friends.”

Jungkook’s aunt shoots Yeonjun a playfully suspicious look, “Ayee~ No need to keep it PG. Y/N’s all grown up! She should be with a handsome boy like you!”

Yeonjun continues to try to explain that things are strictly platonic, but Jungkook’s aunt doesn’t relent so he just goes along with it.

In a strange, fourth dimension-type way, you do understand why Yeonjun is popular amongst the ladies. Yes, you’ll reluctantly admit that he isn’t the most hideous, and that he does have the height, charisma, and chivalry any girl would love- so you aren’t appalled by the idea- until Jungkook’s aunt says “You two would make such cute babies!”

“Hey Jungkook! You’re burning the meat!”

Jungkook’s father yelling his son grabs your attention, and you whip your head towards the grill.

As always, you were vaguely aware of Jungkook’s presence in the room, but you can’t help but stare when you actually see him. Again, it’s a barbecue pool party so Jungkook’s wearing an open Hawaiian shirt and swim shorts, meaning that his abs were on display.

You haven’t seen him in months, and you dare to think that he’s gotten bigger? Yes he looks hot and sexy and amazing, like he always does, but what bothers you is that he seems that he’s doing just fine, and maybe even better without you.

Jungkook hurriedly flips the meat over with the tongs and hastily throws them onto a nearby plastic plate. “My bad, dad,” he apologizes, rubbing the nape of his neck, before turning his head to look directly at you.

You stare at each other for a second before you look down, biting your lip in apprehension. Yeonjun, however, is clueless to this.

“Aye! Jungkook hyung!” he exclaims, running over to Jungkook to dap him up.

Jungkook gives Yeonjun a brotherly smile. “Hey man. How’s school?”

“Ah, it’s going,” Yeonjun responds with a giggle. Sometimes you think that Yeonjun has a bigger crush on Jungkook than you because this man is literally giggling like a middle schooler. You fight the urge to roll your eyes.

“Wow hyung! Your abs look amazing! Like a statue!” Yeonjun immediately pistol whips his head towards you, “Y/N! Did you see? Jungkook is here? Come say hi!” he beckons you like your mother would: “Sweetie, say hi to Jungkook! Don’t be rude!”, and it makes you purse your lips.

Jungkook looks at you, and the only word to describe how he looks is piercing. He looks right at you, right into your soul. No matter where you stand, this man will look right at you and make it mortifyingly clear that he is perceiving you and that you better start perceiving him.

What can you do when he looks at you like that?

Reluctantly, you saunter over, your arms crossed.

“Hey,” you murmur, immediately turning your head to look at the pool.

“What the- what the fuck is wrong with you?” Yeonjun chastises, nudging you with his elbow, “It’s Jungkook! Your favorite person.. Well he’s my favorite person too…” Yeonjun blushes.

Ignoring Yeonjun, Jungkook leans against the grill. “Want some meat, baby? You look… emaciated.”

My oh my, the things you would do to strangle this man. Firstly, it’s the nickname again. The last time he called you baby, he certainly didn’t mean it how he means it now. He’s doing that thing where he treats you like a little kid again and you hate it. Secondly, it’s the comment about you looking emaciated. You know damn well that you’ve actually gained an extra ten pounds since you’ve seen him- and Jungkook knows your body so you wonder if he’s taking a low blow.

“Yea, just give me like two ribs,” you mumble, pupils fluttering up at him before returning to the ground.

Jungkook scoffs in amusement. You can’t even look at him. He places the ribs on the plastic plate, purposely choosing the ones without fat because he knows you find it disgusting.

‘So,” Jungkook starts, motioning between you and Yeonjun, “Was this on purpose? The matching?”

“Oh not at all,” Yeonjun immediately answers, “In fact, did you know that, on average, 30% of the population wears something black each day? That’s a pretty huge percentage considering that..”

Jungkook nods along, pretending like he’s listening to whatever Yeonjun is saying but his eyes are on you, like they always are. He tongues the inside of his cheek looking at you because you won’t even look at him, you just continuously shift your gaze between the ground and the pool.

Ridiculous.

Another thing to note about the Jeon family is that Jungkook isn’t the only Jeon who is madly in love with you. His nephew is too. Well, little four-year old Jacob is as “madly in love” with you as a four-year old can be.

When little Jacob catches heed of you, he immediately waddles into your arms, and you pick him up and throw him up before catching him. Little Jacob is one of the cutest babies you’ve ever seen- he’s like a little Jungkook, looks just like Jungkook’s baby pictures.

“Y/N!” he squeals, nuzzling his face into your neck and squeezing you.

“Hi baby!” you coo, pressing a kiss to his chubby little cheek.

“I mithed you!” Jacob pouts, before the poor kid literally bursts into tears. “I mithed you so much, and you didn’t even vithit me!”

With a swift motion, Jungkook gently takes his cousin from your embrace, using just one hand to lift him up. "Hey," Jungkook's voice carries a hint of seriousness, "Remember what I told you? Do big kids cry over something that doesn't need to be cried over?"

Jacob pouts, wiping a tear. “N-no, but Y/N didn’t vithit me!”

“Y/N didn’t visit me either, but I’m not crying about it, right? Us Jeon boys don’t cry over those things, alright? Now come swim with your uncle, we can play mermaids.” With that, he whisks his nephew away and throws him into the pool.

Yeonjun sends you a look of suspicion.

The car ride back to your place is painful. Yeonjun interrogates you over what really happened between you and Jungkook and you have no choice but to divulge every detail.

At the end, you burst into tears, and Yeonjun has to buy you an Oreo McFlurry from McDonalds to calm you down.

Three months.

You haven’t spoken to him or acknowledged his existence for three months.

Jungkook knows he was harsh on you the last time you spoke, but he didn’t feel like his behavior warranted such indifference from you. At the party, he knows he was being snarky, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t in pain.

He almost falls over when he sees your friends at the grocery store. Yeonjun and Soobin greet him politely, and Jungkook keeps things simple, just engaging in the typical “Hey, how’s school” chat.

These days, Jungkook doesn’t frequent many social outings. For the whole week he’s worked from home and he’s only left to go to the gym and to get food.

Jungkook hates walking past that stupid, balled up, pile of lingerie mocking him from his hallway floor. He hasn’t found it in him to just pick it up and throw it away, or at least kick it away from his line of sight.

It’s just there. Laughing in his fucking face because Jungkook wonders what he would think of that lingerie had you two not fallen out.

Perhaps you would surprise him after a long day of work- a day he only makes it through because he knows he’s coming back to you. Jungkook thinks the red set is cute, but black is undeniably his favorite color- sophisticated, timeless, and alluring- he knows he would prefer the black set.

He would like the red set on Valentine’s day, the color against your skin as ablaze as his love for you. He would cherish you, hold you tight to him while he gently ravishes you and shows you how good you make him feel, pleasuring you until you begin to push him away. That was the most corny thing he’s ever conceived in his life and that makes him feel even worse.

A notification lights up the dim room, and Jungkook’s tattooed hand immediately reaches for his phone on the bedside table.

It was his crazy ex that gifted you a Snorlax keychain and threatened to key his car.

Jungkook laughs to himself because he realizes this is the universe’s karma for continuously ditching women who were “too into it”.

He was clearly the one who was too into it now because his stupid ass was already thinking about marriage and children while you were still in college. He runs his hands over his face and smiles at the bitter irony of the situation.

Weeks pass and Jungkook learns to accept his circumstances. It wasn’t really about moving on, because he accepted that he wouldn’t- not easily, at least. It was about moving forward.

He finds joy in the mundane, waking up early to go to the gym, sitting at his office desk and admiring the city view, occasionally meeting up with his friends and getting drunk. Jungkook reckons he can sustain this lifestyle for the rest of his life but knows that he’ll fold if you ever decide to run back to him, which is why he’s enlisting in a few weeks, to seek normalcy, peace, and stability.

He bids his final goodbyes to his family, friends, and coworkers. The last thing he needs to say goodbye to is his hair.

He inhales deeply, standing on the expanse of his balcony, gazing at the illuminating cityscape and twinkling lights. He holds a barber’s mirror in his left hand and a razor in his right. The chilly breeze blows against his bare upper body and he feels the urge to sloppily do the job to return to the comfort of his cozy bed. He raises the razor towards his head, taking another deep breath while he brings it towards his hairline until-

The sliding door glides open with a whoosh. He hears your voice breathless and pressing, “You’re going to the army?”

He briefly considers jumping from the balcony.

“Are you leaving tomorrow?” you repeat.

He presses his lips together tightly, then pivots to meet your gaze, his expression a mix of utter astonishment. It's been four months since you last spoke to him, and now you're running back? The night before he enlists?

Your eyebrows furrow deeply, you continue yapping, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jungkook allows his eyes to rest on you. He realizes you’ve cut your hair shoulder length and momentarily, he thinks that you look beautiful with your hair at any length- but that’s not the point. He’s angry- beyond livid, beyond heartbroken, and you think that you can suddenly waltz back into his life after months of ignoring him?

He tongues his cheek against the inside of his mouth. “You need to leave.”

“I am not leaving,” you enunciate, “We need to talk before you go.”

You casually stride into his place like it's your own, stubbornly marching into the balcony and plopping yourself down on Jungkook's chair, and Jungkook can’t fathom the audacity.

He scoffs, “Seriously? I’m not enlisting to get your attention,” he bites his tongue, “You seriously don’t have to be here.”

“I know you’re not,” you reason, tucking your hair behind your ear, looking him right in the eye, “But we have to talk. Haven’t you been the one who’s been wanting to talk this whole time?”

Jungkook

Jungkook pauses, leaning against the railing while he squints his eyes.“Not everything is about you, Y/N.”

Your lips automatically form into a straight line, expressing your embarrassment at his blunt statement. “I know,” you respond, “I just thought, you know, since your text messages and stuff..”

Jungkook blankly stares at you, shaking his head, disbelief written across his features. “You had months to talk,” he recalls, voice laced with bitterness, “You chose to ignore me.”

You hesitate, “Well I’m not ignoring you anymore, so can’t we talk?”

Jungkook’s gaze hardens, and he shakes his head, not believing the words coming from your mouth, “You’re so fucking selfish-”

“Hey! Do not say that about me!” you shout, your jaw trembling.

“Yea? So what are you?” Jungkook barks back, “Selfless?” he laughs at that, “Are you happy knowing that I’m going away for two years? Wanna finally get this over with?”

“No Jungkook. I’m not fucking happy to hear that.” you spit back right, fists balling up to your sides, “I don’t give you what you want and suddenly you start acting like a fucking asshole!” you seethe in return.

“Me? The asshole? Maybe I’ve said some hurtful things to you, but you know that I love you. You know that I care for you. You completely gave up. You gave up on us.”Jungkook scoffs to himself, staring at you incredulously. “Relationships are built on trust and communication,” he states frankly, “and you broke that. I don’t owe you anything anymore.” When the words leave his lips, his mouth becomes dry.

You pause, features scrunching in contemplation before you lick your lips and nod. “That’s fair,” you shrug, “Do you at least want to hear what I have to say before you go? For closure?”

Jungkook's expression darkens. Closure?

Despite his resolve to move forward, he has always subconsciously intended to hold onto his feelings for you. He understands that his reluctance to let you go would linger, but it stings to realize that you were willing to accept that so readily.

He inhales deeply, “I’m listening.”

“Um. Ok,” you uncomfortably glance around, the way his handsome obsidian eyes boring into your soul becoming too much for you.

“You can’t even look at me.”

“I can!” you immediately counter, redirecting your focus solely on him. “It’s just- fuck- I don’t know how to say it” you mumble, fingers twiddling with the strands of hair that frame your face.

“You’re a big girl. Use your words,” he states plainly.

“Okay! I can- just- can you stop making that face?”

“What face?”

“Stop looking at me like you hate me or something!” you pout, “It’s making me uneasy- I just want to talk to you like before.”

Jungkook’s expression softens at that, and he runs his fingers through his hair. No matter how cold or detached you become, you'll always be a baby, and he'll always have a soft spot for you. “Go ahead,” he offers.

“I don’t know,” you begin, running your fingers through your hair, “After we- you know we,” you start to whisper, “slept together,”

Jungkook sighs.

You blink at him momentarily before beginning your digression “I realized we were moving too fast, and I began worrying about shit like how I would contribute financially to our wedding, if I would be a good mom to our kids, how people would view us as a couple,” you explain, arms instinctively crossing while you struggle to maintain eye contact, not missing the way Jungkook’s expression contorts.

“And it wasn’t that I was super concerned about people’s opinions,” you explain, “I’m worried about being too childish for you. I want to be a girl that you’re proud to be with- super educated, successful, and pretty. That’s the type of girl you should be with. Not a girl who refuses to shower and smells her vagina juices in front of you,” you reason, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“And I’m not even trying to imply that these are traits you specifically care about. I know you love and accept me for me, but I’m not okay with it. I want to be good enough to be your girl, and the whole thing just made me feel so shitty about myself that I couldn’t take it anymore- and- and- and you know our age difference!” you wipe the snot running from your nose, maybe from the chilly weather or the emotions running through your system, “I said I don’t care about people’s opinions, but I don’t want anyone to think you’re a predator or something! Or that you took advantage of me after my parents’ died!”

You conclude your rant with a sigh, your entire body deflating despite the way you scrutinize the tiny shifts in his facial expressions. His lips twitch up slightly, then he grimaces, then he frowns, but his final expression is one of indifference.

“Okay,” he says candidly, offering you a small smile, “Thanks for letting me know.”

You stare at him owlishly, and he returns your impassive expression.

“Umm, is that all you have to say?”

“Is there anything to say? I appreciate you letting me know, but I don’t know what to say either,” he reasons, “If you don’t feel comfortable about coming to me about your feelings, should we really be together? Maybe this was for the better.”

An uncomfortable silence washes over the both of you until Jungkook decides to speak up, a lot less angry and defensive from his demeanor towards the conversation. “You weren’t ready, and I get that. I would have waited for you, y’know.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Jungkook nods understandingly, picking up the hoodie he haphazardly threw on the balcony table before approaching you and draping it over your shoulders. “Thanks for coming over. You should get home now. It’s late.”

At his words, your heart plummets to your ass.

So it really is over.

You guys talked things out cordially. He would be gone for two years. There was no hope for either of you. You don’t realize that you’ve stopped breathing, and you inhale sharply, feeling as if oxygen has been depleted from your system.

You don’t say anything, and you allow him to walk you to the front of his door. He takes a few steps back, still shirtless and hands in the pockets of his baggy basketball shorts. He motions his head towards the door, waiting for you to leave.

You stand idle, blinking at him and scrutinizing him while he blinks at you.

Your left hand adjusts the long glittery purse straps that sit on your shoulder.

“Okay. Bye. Good luck in the military.”

He gives you an awkward smile. “Thanks. You know I’ll be okay.”

“Yea.”

“Get home safely. There’s traffic on the freeway from the lantern festival so take the streets home.”

“Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

You approach the door, looking back at Jungkook as you begin twisting the doorknob. “Okay.”

Jungkook shoots you a close lipped smile and nods.

“Yup.”

“Yea.”

Jungkook watches you with an expression of indifference, shifting his weight between both of his legs. He’s not going to do anything, and he doesn’t think you’re going to do anything either.

“Okay,” he announces, slightly impatient, “Bye Y/N. Drive safely.”

You stubbornly shake your head. You can’t let it end this way. You stride towards him, your lips latching onto his passionately, kissing him deeply and romantically. He’s a bit taken aback, but nonetheless uses his large hand to grab you by the neck as he moans into your mouth. He kisses you back, groaning into your lips as he allows you to take the lead.

You pull back to yank your oversized tee over your head, letting yourself feel his bare skin against yours. “Take me to the bedroom. Please,” you oblige. Jungkook looks at you, eyebrows furrowing deeply as if he’s angry but you know he’s not. He always makes that angry look when he feels conflicted. You run your thumb over his arched eyebrows to soothe him.

Nonetheless, he grunts, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you to the restroom.

You wake up the next morning, Jungkook’s body pressed up against yours like a furnace. He holds you close to him, skin against skin, his chest against your bare back. You squirm within the confines of his tight embrace, eliciting a deep groan from Jungook’s chest.

You wrap your smaller palm around the circumference of Jungkook’s wrist and tug. “Kook, wake up. You’re enlisting today,” you murmur sleepily. He grunts and squeezes you tighter, signalling you to shut the fuck up. You open one of his palms and put it right over your face before your lick his entire palm. Jungkook does nothing in response, just wraps his arm around your neck and pulls you so you’re lying on top of him.

You hit him with your palms. “Kook, let me go!” He secures his arms around your waist and arms, trapping you on top of him.

He ignores your wriggling and squirming, and just suction cups his lips onto your sensitive neck and sucks. You feel the sensation of his tongue running against your skin, and it tickles, but it feels good, and Jungkook isn’t letting you go.

After a good few minutes of leaving hickeys along your neck, he flicks his head back onto the pillow and sighs deeply. “Okay,” he breathes out, seemingly refreshed.

His gaze fixes on the ceiling, tracing the slow rotations of the fan's wings as they circle endlessly.

You nudge him, “Jungkook? Want to get ready?”

He says nothing, just stares at the ceiling and you sit up, tucking your hair behind your ear as you gaze falls onto the stoicism enveloping his features. “Jungkook?”

His eyes dart towards you, and it’s like everything changes. He finally comes to his senses. “Y/N, get the fuck out of my apartment.”

next part

#jungkook fanfic

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hannieehaee · 5 months

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Out of pure curiosity you do think in seventeen is most likely to settle down first or at least prioritize a private relationship over their careers as idols. I've been thinking about it and I definitely think leader line/jeonghan would be the least and Joshua cuz of yk :/ but then members like jun/mingyu/wonwoo/vernon/minghao seem to me to he the type where they'd sacrifice their career not because they care less but give priority to things outside being an idol. Chan and seungkwan is either/or for me - seungkwan cause of how long he's been in the spotlight acting as a promoter for seventeen and Chan cause he seems to be the ambitious "chase two girls (dreams) lose the one" type. But then again I think this also kinda reflects which members would be willing to go solo...the members who'd priorize not having relationships would be the members to least go solo and the members who would I can totally see as going solo. Sorry for the long ask btw😅

omg this is such an interesting question and i've honestly thought about this before. ima make a most to least to put their relationship before their career (this is just from my own personal read on them from what we've publicly seen of their personalities) personally i think theyd all probably find a way to work through hardships and keep it going as long as possible instead of ever ending a committed relationship due to their careers but gonna rate them all anyway lmao

a/n: this was just word vomit so its not proofread

most

wonwoo - he seems to value his personal life a lot to a point where he wouldn't let anything get in the way, never shying away from expressing how much he cares for his loved ones. he knows the value of his personal life, meaning he would likely place it at a higher level of importance than his career. he seems to really enjoy being an idol, though, so this would probably be a very difficult decision. i think if it really came down to it, he'd pick his s/o over his career as an idol, or would at least prioritize it more.

vernon - he seems very family oriented. i think he once said one of his dreams was to be a dad, so i think if he saw that future with his s/o, he would pick his s/o over career as an idol. he's had a long run as a public figure, even dating back to when he was a child. he wouldnt wanna risk his personal relationship for his idol career, no matter how much he loves it.

minghao - has never shied away from drawing lines in between his personal life and his public one as an idol. he gives me the vibe of a romantic and he's also very family oriented. he would likely wanna find a love like that of his parents, so he would probably see that with his s/o and prioritize the future of the relationship over anything else.

mingyu - he seems veryyyy used to his privacy being invaded (stalkers constantly calling him; seemingly more so than other members), so i think he'd be good at handling anything that came hurdling at his personal life, meaning there would probably never be a need for him to feel like he has to choose BUT if he realllyyyy had to pick, he'd pick his s/o. he adores his loved ones and is one of the most caring people, so he'd pick his s/o without a second thought.

seokmin - he's boyfriend personified, so i think if be fell in love he'd fall HARD, meaning that he would willingly give anything up for his s/o. loves his idol life so much but he loves his family twice as much (with his s/o being family to him ofc), so he would propritize them in a heartbeat, never regretting his choice.

seungkwan - he's such a loving person. he loves so many people and he loves so hard, i think he'd be unable to part ways with his s/o if his career got in the way. he loves being an entertainer to a fault, though, so i think he'd try really hard to find a loophole in there to not risk his relationship with his s/o and still keep his entertainer career intact. if it came down to one or the two, though, he'd let his heart guide him.

seungcheol - he doesnt show his romantic side that often (at least publicly) but he seems like he'd be a very dependable s/o, which makes me think that he would never drop his s/o bc of his job. he made a promise to stay by their side, so he's not letting anything get in the way. he's the leader, though, so he would never wanna leave his boys in an uncomfortable position due to his personal life. would be an extremely difficult point of tension, but he'd know that he'd always have his boys even if his career went down under.

jun - even with all the scrutiny he got as an idol for taking on a role where he was very affectionate, he still did it out of his passion for acting. in the same way, he would also fight for your relationship no matter the repercussions to his strict idol career. he seems like he'd be a bit more level headed and less emotional than the aforementioned members though. i think he'd be willing to take a break with his s/o in order to work through things, not giving up his career but also keeping a door open for a future with his s/o.

jeonghan - he's a very family oriented person and seems super protective over them, so i think he'd be the same with his s/o. only reason why i put him so down on the list is because i dont think this would be too much of an emotional thing for him. i dont think he would ever be in a position where he had to give up his relationship. he would just work his way around it somehow. would either take a break with his s/o or take a break from his career OR just work through any and every hurdle that comes his way. as cliche as it may sound, he'd cheat his way through the situation to not have to permanently give up anything.

joshua - feel kinda bad commenting on him considering his current situation, but i think he'd find a balance somehow, just like jeonghan. even if he went through horrible scrutiny, i think he would just somehow work it out and keep it together, even if it was all completely out of control. he comes from a small family, so i think letting anyone into his family must be insanely intimate and personal to him, which makes me think he just wouldnt be willing to let anything get in the way. he's also worked too hard for his career and loves his boys too much (he moved from a whole other country and found safe haven in svt) so i think he also wouldnt be willing to give that up.

woozi - his career is what he breathes. hes known for being a workaholic, creating almost the entirety of svt's discography from scratch. not only would he not wanna give up or risk his passion for making music, but he would never wanna leave his group without the stability that he brings to the group. he's a very loving guy, though, even if he's not too expressive about it. he wrote circles for wonwoo and yawn for kwan, showing how much he cares for them, which makes me think he'd feel a similar love for his s/o. would maybe take a break, or find some way to balance both out. would likely put his career above a relationship if it really came down to it though.

chan - he's young so i think he'd be more interested in his career right now than ever risking it for an s/o. i fee like he's least likely to be in a long and committed relationship rn too, considering the tightness of his schedule and the fact he's at the height of his career. this would probably come easier to him than most members, having probably not been in love yet in order to really make it a difficult choice.

soonyoung - he seems way too in love with his career to let anything get in the way. the amount of dedication he's always put on his career tells me he wouldnt let anything get in the way. although he would be emotional about it and do anything be could to not let it get in the way of his romantic relationships, i think he would still be most likely out of all members to actually end his relationship if it really came down to it. he's said before he'd like to try solo stuff someday, so i think he's more willing to put his career before anything else.

a/n: this isnt meant to be a fic lol i was just rlly interested in the question u brought up anon haha

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themediummultiverseau · 1 year

Note

Will papyrus ever be included in the storyline, maybe sans opening up to him about it, or he gets suspicious about sans's behavior and corners him or something?

Aaaand are there any prominent side characters that we'll see?

Papyrus notices that his brother has been leaving the house more, and at first, hes overjoyed! Sans was finally leaving the house! But, he realised after a while, that he always dodged the question as to where he was going. (Sans, being the secretive little fuck that he is, refuses to tell anyone about the ghosts.) Worried, Papyrus follows him one day, only to find him walking al the way to the park. And then he just stops, and starts talking to air.

Papyrus is CONCERNED (tm,) and goes back home to wait for Sans to come home. It takes him HOURS to come back, (he visits everyone he can,) and, when confronted, he once again try to avoid the questions.

Papyrus says he followed him, saw him talking to air, and was considering getting him professional help, his depression had been bad before, and if he was starting to see things now as well...

Sans is forced to tell the truth.

And he does. For the next few hours they sit and talk about the ghosts. Papyrus want to believe him, really, he does! But he cant help but still be worried, so says takes his phone out and googles "Nightmare - Prince" and shows him the results. He then goes through the lot of them, showing death reports, news articles, anything that appears really, and Papyrus finally believes him.

From then on, he insists Sans takes something for them every time he visits, and often makes them food to give (more often that not, its spaghetti,) and asks how they're doing. Sometimes, they go and Sans acts as a medium, for them, so Papyrus and the ghosts can talk directly.

Killer and Dream especially take a liking to him, while Dust is pretty scared of him (he looks way to much like his won brother its actually scary,) and always ask how he is when Sans comes without him.

Side characters.. It depends what you mean by that.

Every Sans you could ever want can exist here, they just might not haunt the town,

(i got lazy when drawing here, so its just a messy sketch but yk)

(Red - shot, epic - shrapnel, Fresh - car crash, Outer - fell)

Alternatively, most of the ghosts had family members, most of them had a Papyrus look alike, (Papyrus isn't reincarnated here, but every Sans deserves a Papyrus, even fate believes it so)

(Nim (Dream and Nightmares mother, Queen), Phantom (Dusts brother,) Horror had lots of siblings, ect...)

Buuut, while many of the original Undertale cast have been spread out throughout the years, Toriel, Chara and Frisk are all based in the present time.

Toriel, after the death of her son, adopts two kids, twins, who were considered "difficult" children, (really there were disabled, but why would they care about that, - Chara has some mental issues, and Frist is mute and has sight problems.) They're lovely kids , and they visit quite regularly, typically with their mother. Sans was named their Godfather (Papyrus was considered, but he told them Sans was a better choice, ) because Toriel knew he'd love them.

Sans and Toriel met at a comedy gig, both preforming on the same day, and became friends instantly over their shared love of stupid puns. (They're not together, this universe has no canonical relationships, everyting's platonic here, but ships are totally allowed and welcome if you wanted lol.)

Holy moly, that was a lot of work lmao, would you believe it, i dont think ive ever actually drawn Papyrus before? I have no idea why, just havent, ill have to do more so in the future cus hes fun.

Ive also never tried to draw anyone from the angle Sans is at in the first drawing, think it looks fine as long as you ignore the feet lol.

No, i didnt get lazy drawing the ghost in the first, it was a stylistic choice! /j /sarcasm, also, Hi, im Whisp, i hate backgrounds!)

Please excuse me attempt at drawing a wimple for Nim and the tricorned hat for Phantom, they're very difficult!

All of Horrors siblings there don't have names, they were just designed on the spot really, so if anyone has and names for them, ill take them on board!

But hope it all looks okay, this is all full of firsts lol. Have a lovely day everyone! :)

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sweetberrysmooch · 3 years

Text

HC: And There Was Only One Bed (Affectionate) [pt. 2]

(Zzzzzzz…..)

(Alright, second part done :V Not much to say here for now, but I hope you’re excited for the upcoming part to come out next ^^ And my ask box is always open, so feel free to drop in and chat any time! I’ll be seeing you :D)

Basic sleeping hcs with ya boys, and for a part two, outside home life? You’ll see what I mean lol

Characters: Quackity, George, Badboyhalo.

Warnings: Nightmares in Quackity’s part, but besides that we’re clean <3

Song Recommendation: Metamodernity- Vansire

Up Next- Sapnap, Philza, Fundy, Schlatt.

Enjoy your day guys! I do hope it be rockin :]

Quackity:

Quackity is one floppy motherfucker. You fall asleep with him spooning you, head nestled between your shoulder blades, hands holding yours in front of your middle, legs entangled, the whole shi-bang, but wake up with him starfishing half on the mattress at a weird angle that makes his neck sore for the rest of the day.

Each day is a new position for you to add to your ammunition of teasing against him, but he takes it in stride. He totally doesn’t wake you up halfway through the night by flinging himself over your middle, ‘asleep’ and snoring like a freight train. When you give up halfway through trying to stop him breathing and just fall asleep lying on his chest, he turns to mush and gets distracted playing with your hair. You don’t know why he seems so exhausted the next morning, and he only giggles dreamily at you when you ask.

While he’ll be the big spoon for as long as you want him to, there’s a special soft place in his heart for being the little spoon. Hold him, please. Pull him to your chest and gently run your fingers through his hair, rub his back and kiss every inch of his face until he’s down for the count. The easiest way to make him feel better after a bad day or an argument is to let him know you want him and love him. Just holding him at night guarantees that he’ll bring you a present the next day (like the inner stardew valley house husband he sometimes longs to be lmao).

It’s a 50/50 chance of waking up with Quackity or after him, seeing as he prefers to get up early to enjoy the quiet mornings before the rest of the smp wakes up. He gets ready, makes the both of you coffee (or tea, something to help wake you up), and watches the sky change color while he waits for you to come sit with him in the kitchen. The two of you try your best to assure a moment together before you go about your separate ways, sitting together and talking about what you have planned or what you might have for dinner later. It’s his favorite part of the day, aside from coming back home to your awaiting arms.

Another citrus-y smelling fellow. More orange than lemon, he bathes in the morning after he wakes up. You typically wake up right after he gets finished washing up, walking into the bathroom to hear him quietly humming while drying off his hair and wings. He’ll give you a small guilty grin and a good smooch on your forehead as an apology.

Another poor fellow with nightmares;; They’re a lot less frequent than they used to be now that you’ve gotten together (having someone to talk to and work through each others issues does WONDERS apparently) but when they hit, they hit him hard. You wake up from him twisting and turning right before he wakes up in tears. He doesn’t like to be touched afterwards, drawn in on himself and facing away from you, hiding his crying. When you leave to get him a glass of water and come back, he’s more grounded, crawling into your arms and accepting the drink gratefully. With his forehead pressed to your throat, taking small sips from his cup, he’ll tell you what his dream was about. Sometimes it’s Technoblade, sometimes Dream, mostly Schlatt though. His ex lingers on his mind more than he likes to admit, a deep sense of abandonment showing through his nightmares. Quackity struggles with sleeping for a few days after, afraid of what he might see when he closes his eyes again.

(You’ve fallen back asleep by now, hand paused in its ministrations and resting snugly in his hair. Things are warm and quiet and soft, and he feels safe again.

The nightmare still hovers fuzzily in the back of his mind, but for now he can ignore it, focusing on your slow breathing as it lulls him back to sleep.

His last thought before finally letting himself rest is how much he loves you, giving you one last squeeze in his tight embrace before relaxing into a much more stable slumber. ‘Gracias por todo mi amor.’)

George:

Impeccable skill of just falling asleep wherever and whenever. Before the two of you got close and started sharing a bed together, he really left his sleep schedule up to fate. He’d find a comfy spot and crash there for a few hours till he was awoken and would just repeat that a few hours later. Now that he has you, he makes more of an effort to stay awake during the day so he can sleep through the night next to your side. It more or less works, but occasionally he’ll have slept during the day and he wakes up in the middle of the night. As “punishment”, he sentences himself to waiting it out instead of getting up to do something because he truly wants to keep going to bed with you.

Not big on contact, likes having his space when he’s sleeping. Cuddling is nice every once in a while, but he prefers being able to breathe a little bit when falling asleep. He does, however, actively make the choice to hold your hand while he slips into slumberville. His grip isn’t too strong, nor is it very light, but a gentle mix between the two to try and remind you how much he loves you. You’ll wake up before him and his hand will still be holding yours, pulled to his chin as he sleeps. His breath fans your knuckles slowly, face eased of any stress, absolutely content.

George bathes…… probably. I’m just kidding, he fluctuates between bathing at night or in the morning because he just goes through phases of forgetting to when the time comes. His little mushroom home doesn’t come with a bathroom, seeing as its wholly empty (please if anyone has housing information on George or like. Any character at all please inform me please i beg-), so he’s limited to getting clean at a friend’s or your house. Typically yours. He keeps all of his valuables at your place once you start letting him sleep over there, tucking his clothes into your closet or in your dresser when he thinks you aren’t looking, leaving a toothbrush and his soap in your bathroom, hanging his armor up on an empty armor stand you have tucked away, all due to his inability to straight out ask if he can live with you.

It’s not like he doesn’t want to live with you, he practically does anyways, but there’s something in him that worries that you won’t like him if you’re forced to live with him permanently. He knows it can become… a bit much when you have to be around someone 24/7, but doesn’t realize that you pretty much already are around each other 24/7 lmao.

It takes a while but eventually he settles down and over dinner suggest that maybe you two should take it to the next level. His face is flushed pink and he keeps switching which leg he has crossed, but he takes your hand and quietly asks if he could start living with you. It’s a surprisingly sweet moment, even with your confusion (thinking you already DID live together), and of course you say yes.

He looks so relieved when you accept, and is kinda like, “I know this will be a difficult process but I’m very excited to become closer with you.” and then nothing changes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(It’s on the walk home when George finally processes that he now lives with you. It feels heavy on his heart, a mix of nervousness and excitement that makes him swallow hard and tighten his fingers around yours.

This isn’t the first time he’s spent the night at your place, nor is it the first time he’s crawled into bed with you and slept next to just because you let him, but it is his first night actually living with you. The moment feels brand new, as if it’s his first time visiting your house all over again.

He begins to wonder if maybe this was a mistake, maybe he’s moved too fast and maybe your regretting letting him live with you already and- He takes a hurried look at your face. You look… unbothered. Happy, even.

There’s this half hidden smile on your face that soothes his anxieties, drawing out his own fragile smile. He can’t wait to live with you.)

Bad:

Mmmmm, big man warm. A natural heat machine, no need for lots of blankets or heavier pajamas, Bad will take care of all your cold problems. Every night after you finish your shared nightly routine, you curl up in his arms, immediately becoming over come with his toasty embrace. It like when you get clothes out of the drier and just hug them to your chest, the warm, clean, smell good experience that Bad also delivers.

He’s got a pretty ingrained nightly schedule that he sticks to, and he always invites you to join him after you finish up dinner. It starts by cleaning up the house a little, washing the dishes, setting aside clothes for the next day, taking a quick bath, brushing his teeth, reading a few chapters from a new book he’s picked up, and then settling down to go to bed. He won’t push you to do it with him, but he does try to incorporate you into his routine when he can. Usually it’s just by doing something small, like reading together or massaging your shoulders, but sometimes he’ll ask you to join him when he bathes.

Bad bathes pretty often, always at night, and using a nice smelling soap that he makes himself. Like what was said above, he’ll sometimes ask you to join him when bathing. It’s not ever for any naughty means, but because he sees bathing as a very intimate and vulnerable activity for you to share. He won’t push it, understanding that it can be overwhelming to be so open, but if you do choose to join him, he’s so gentle with you. His hands are worked and calloused, but they’re soft when they run soap through your hair, his nails lightly scratching your scalp and running down the back of your neck. He practically purrs when you return the favor, giggling as your hands brush sensitive spots around his sides. Afterwards he becomes so cuddly and attached to your side, you fall asleep with him curled up on YOUR chest, trapped under him.

That being said, most nights he takes to being the big spoon. It’s more for convenience sake, seeing as he’s a good few feet taller than you are, but he also can appreciate being held and loved on after harsher days. He’s a lot like a weighted blanket, a nice heavy weight that keeps you warm and makes you feel loved <3 love this guy.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), you sometimes have.... Visitors. Bad is a hub for the homeless, bored, and nutty members of the smp. They flock to him like birds to the elderly, which means you have “children” to take care of for a day or two at a time :/. Dream and George aren’t regulars, per say, but Bad has a room set aside for either of them when they come over. To their credit, they do try to be polite when they come over, and will help in cooking dinner or cleaning up. Skeppy, however, is unlike Dream or George, in that he’s more of a third partner in your and Bad’s relationship.

Skeppy up and appears at random, no announcement, and makes himself comfortable any place where Bad is. Be it at your home or his, Skeppy eats your food, lounges on your furniture, hell, he even sleeps with you and Bad at night. You two share Bad’s chest whenever Skeppy is over. It’s so jarring at first, having to deal with having another boyfriend (because Skeppy will consider you to be apart of the thrupple after introductions), but he usually only stays for like 3 days before leaving to do whatever else he has planned. You don’t know if you should be worried or upset or what, but after a while it becomes kinda nice to have him around.

All in all Bad is great to sleep with <3

(Bad blows the lantern out on his bedside counter, shuffling under the cover beside you once the room was fully dark. You slung an arm over his chest instinctively, cuddling up into his side when his arm pulled up around your back and held you even closer.

You shivered pleasantly when he gently pressed a kiss into your hair, becoming sleepier and sleepier with each rise and fall of his wide chest. He sighs quietly and squeezes you, murmuring softly to you as you both fell asleep. “Goodnight, sweetheart. Sleep well.”)

Have a good evening! Do something nice for yourself tonight. You deserve it.

#mcyt x reader #dsmp x reader #c: george #c: quackity #c: badboyhalo #georgenotfound x reader #quackity x reader #badboyhalo x reader #hc: and there was only one bed (affectionate)#woof #sorry this took so long to get out guys ^^;#lets hope pt.3 won't take as long!

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ryuichirou · 3 years

Note

Lord God Savior of All Ryu, I ask for but one noble request. lol i just wanna see all your AUs. Like, I always here about them in replies and stuff but I've almost never seen what they actually look like. So if you could just tag pics of them or doodle (they can be super bad 30 sec doodles too, it don't matter to me) them, I would be the happiest, most joyful little shit ever.

Anon!! Thank you for being so interested in our AUs and wanting to learn more about them. It was a very good excuse for us to go through the list of the AUs, doodle them, revisit some of the older ones, etc. So yeah, your wish is granted lol

Here’s the majority of them, we decided not to include those that we’ve barely talked about and thought out... I’ve put tags for those AUs where we have at least something posted. Most of them are something we haven’t even talked about at all and they don’t have a single sketch, but I liked drawing chibis for them way too much. Sorry, I used your ask lol

We have a general tag for our aus and specific ones for some of them, but sometimes an au from here is not tagged separately, so you might have to use this general tag...I tried to fix it, I don’t think I missed anything, so it should be ok now! ;w;

1. Space AU. It’s a story about a space expedition.. which turned out to be not exactly what everyone planned thanks to Erwin. What a commander!

2. Tribal AU. It’s a story about Eren becoming a part of the tribe where Erwin and Levi live.

3. Babysitter AU. Levi is a babysitter to Eren and Zeke, unfortunately for Zeke, who’s 17 and not exactly thrilled about being babied. Sometimes there’s kid Erwin too. We’ve never posted anything related to this AU, I think, and I don’t think we will. There’s another AU related to this one, but 19yo Eren from the paths (he has the memory of the manga events) keeps kid Eren company as an invisible ghost, while others think that kid Eren is cursed or something.

4. SnK AU. A classical one, where Eren has dreams about the plot of SnK, but when the story stops progressing, he decides to kidnap Levi to make the plot go on. Erwin finds out later... and keeps Levi in the basement because he wants to know the ending too lmao plus it’s hot.

5. Mines AU. Erwin gathered a team for his wonderful plan to find a treasure, but it’s not like the rest of the team needs to know where they’re really going. Zeke’s particularly terrified to find that out. Despite its name, they spend the majority of time in the forest. Also, there’s a timeskip of 11 years.

6. AU with Neetwin who’s a history teacher. We don’t tag this one though, it’s not like it’s our AU. So now it’s a Neetwin tag, although one of the drawings is with adult Levi... eh, who cares.

7. CC AU (cleaning company). Levi works in a cleaning company and cleans up Neetwin and hobo Eren’s apts. They need a lot of work. Yes, they make their apts even dirtier to make Levi spend more time there.

8. Prison AU. Damn this one is good... we came up with it before reading the timeskip in the manga, so Eren’s appearance doesn’t really match his age, he’s 17 lol Levi is a mafia member who goes to prison because he need to kill one of the inmates (who later became Zeke) on Erwin’s (Levi’s boss) request. Eren’s his personal guard, although Eren works as a regular guard too.

9. King Kong AU. It’s an AU where the Beast Titan is King Kong lmao Zeke is having fun killing dinosaurs... Levi, not so much. Thank Erwin for his wonderful plan of going to this island.

10. Rus AU, basically just characters living in Russia. Because ofc we will have this type of a setting... Damn, I thought we drew this one more often, huh.

11. Sea AU. Mainly our modern AU, we use it as a base for other modern stuff for the most part. Levi’s getting two boifrond rings, he lives with Erwin, Eren visits them often, Zeke bitches a lot, fun times with and without Zeke, stuff like that. There’s also a subplot (11.5) where Eren gets “kidnapped” by a witch, so Zevi have to find him and bring him back. Titans exist in this AU, Eren and Zeke are titans, and all of them have military training, but Erwin and Levi retired some time ago. We don’t have a tag for just a modern setting, though.

12. Cult AU. Eren lives on a farm and has a whole village of his followers. He also has cursed animals... and I think we’ve told about some of the plot points in replies. Erwin’s really into all this cult stuff because it affects reality for real, so he asks Levi to follow rituals, although Levi came to ask Eren to go back to normal life and finish the fucking school.

13. Serial killer AU. Eren’s a serial killer, duh. Never posted anything with this one, unfortunately, but Eren got disappointed in the police when he was a child, so he decided to fix the situation himself, while Erwin and Levi, as a part of a special department, investigate his “fixing”. It also has a time skip. I really need to redraw at least one sketch...

14. Hospital AU. Levi gets into Marley trying to make Eren go back, but it’s not that simple because Eren doesn’t want to lol Basically canonverse with this small change.

15. Hobo AU. Eren and Levi are hobos, Zeke wants his brother to stop living under a fucking bridge. Later Erwin takes both of them under his roof because he really likes Levi, but he can’t leave Eren alone.

16. Doggies AU. AU where Eren’s a wolf and Erwin’s a doggo. Levi got Erwin because he was a retiring trained dog and sniffed enough drugs in his life, and Eren... his “owner” found him on the streets and lied to Levi about Eren being a dog. Later Eren turned into a magnificent beast and now he doesn’t want to leave. There’s also Zeke, but he belongs to Xavier.

17. AU where Eren wants to become a mangaka. The first post is self-explanatory, although I’d probably make some changes now if I cared enough. There’s also a time skip where Eren ditched his manga and became hobo!Eren. His editor was pissed lol

18. Scolopendra Eren AU. You know the drill, and I’ve talked about the plot in some of the replies.

This post doesn’t show up on the tag for some reason.

19. Ghost Eren AU. I should’ve named it combini AU... Anyway, I’ve talked about this one a lot, although poor Erwin gets neglected a little bit lol it’s hard to compete with a ghost when you’re just a mere stalker... but a very invested one. Eren likes Erwin here, they’re vibing on the same malicious-towards-Levi wave.

20. Shark Eren AU. It’s just for us for funs, Eren’s a shark, and Levi’s there to help him fight depression. Eren later escapes into the sea.

21. Midsommar AU. Levi and Erwin get an invite to go to the village from Yelena, Eren’s a part of a cult who is kinda attracted to one of the newcomers... Such a good movie, we need to draw them properly. Both Yeagerists and Eldians are a part of the cult, they don’t have any specific rules by which I categorised them... Although not all characters are present, and some of them (Jean, I think) are newcomers who will join the cult later. Sorry, I don’t remember much.

22. Silent Hill AU. It started with Erwin peeking into Levi’s apartment, but now there’s Eren too... We haven’t thought out this one, I’m bad with Silent Hill AUs for some reason.

23. House Eren AU. Eren’s a house, and we’ve explained how it works too, so just check out the tag. Levi actually lives there with Erwin, but I don’t remember if we’ve mentioned it or decided to skip this info.

24. Eren pack AU. It’s an AU where Erens of all ages (6 of them, I believe) are a little bit feral, and they have wolf ears and tails, and they live in a specific place and Levi visits them every day and takes care of them. They love Levi. Here’s the only post that survived, and here’s a link for a twitter post which I never got back on tumblr after it got deleted.

25. Trailer AU. The story is about Levi who has to live with Zeke for a month as his slave because Erwin lost him in a game of cards lol To be fair, Erwin lost a lot of money and their whole flat, and Zeke gave them a choice between that and Levi (he’s horny ok), and Levi agreed. Zeke even put Levi on a chain, although Levi doesn’t even try to escape...

26. Flower shop AU. Eren’s a plant, and he brings death to the whole planet. He keeps Levi alive though, as a treat for himself. We’ve explained some of the stuff in the replies.

27. Blair Witch AU. It’s pretty much explained in this post, and if you saw the movie, there’s nothing for me to tell you. Everything that’s different from it is in the post lol

28. Corpse AU. Eren’s a corpse, Levi’s a pathologist who works on difficult and mysterious cases alongside the police. Eren later comes to life along with a couple of other bodies...

29. Antichrist AU. Zevi adopt baby Eren, but Eren’s a fucking satan. He loves Levi, but Zeke... not so much. Zeke loves Eren to death, though. Eren would love to organise that, but first he needs to grow up a little bit. It doesn’t mean that he won’t torture his parents during his journey. And everyone else who interact with them.

30. This one doesn’t have a title, but it’s an AU where kid Eren went missing, and Levi goes into the forest to find him. Levi owns Erwin who’s a good doggo and helps him find Eren. It turns out Eren killed two adult dudes, and he has paths!Eren telling him what to do and how to do it... Paths!Eren has the memory of the canonverse.

31. Zombie apocalypse AU. There’s only one drawing with it though, but basically Levi builds himself a wonderful place to survive the apocalypse, and he keeps Zombie Erwin in the basement in hopes of Hange finding a cure. Then Eren joins just because he can and because Levi’s very awesome. Eren has a boner for the apocalypse and enjoys every second of it.

32. No title, but Eren was casted away from the canon universe for the rumbling, and now he’s a mythological giant wolf who lives in a deep very old forest. He was very surprised to find out Levi exists in this universe... So he kidnapped him ❤️

33. Halloween AU. You’ve seen this one, it’s a story where Jean, Connie, Sasha and Eren get into the wrong house and find a ritual instead of a Halloween party... So after saving the child who, as it turns out, is not really a victim, they decide to ditch him at Eruri’s place.

34. Okusan AU. Levi’s a housewife, Erwin is a cuckold who’s really into adultery. He invites both Zeke and Eren from time to time to act as Levi’s husbands, and they (Levi and Erwin) almost get caught because the “husband” suddenly came home... Sorry, we’ve read too many doujinshis lol

35. Island AU. Erwin loves sending Levi to dangerous places to get souvenirs for himself, and now it’s time for Levi to get a crystal from a very isolated island full of strict rules in terms of interacting with outsiders. We have a cool idea for a two part drawing (like with our flower shop au), but it’ll take us ages to complete anything at this rate... I have like two sketches on Patreon for now, but damn this AU has so many cool visuals we wanna draw... It’s another cult AU with people living on Paradis (more like one village in the middle of the island), isolated from the rest of the world. They don’t welcome strangers, and Levi has three months to find and steal that crystal, although it’s not that simple.

36. Erewan. Not exactly a full AU, but Erewan’s a cursed animal plushie who kills people and loves Levi a lot.

37. Cat AU. Everyone’s a cat (duh). Not really our AU, but it has its own tag, and it’s only asks.

38. Tiny founder Eren AU?? Again, not really our AU, but now it has its own tag.

I’ve also found the reply where I talk about how characters’ relationships work in some of the AUs, you can check it out too. I thought it was fitting for a master post.

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sondepoch · 3 years

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🥺anon!

i’m glad you finally started the inazuma archon quest! i’m respectfully looking at all your thoma reblogs and i approve of the thoma-fication of your blog. sometimes i just wanna choke childe but i know thoma would treat me well (but i wouldn’t be opposed to a childe x reader x thoma fic)

and i’m so scared of the prospect of a ruin guard x reader fic bc i do NOT want to simp for a ruin guard akdkgkhm but i trust you sonde :’) my heart is in your hands when it comes to fics

yess thoma is <3333 i actually starting a little drabble for him yesterday (AU where reader is part of the kamisato clan, middle child between ayato and ayaka) and he has to ~serve~ bc i can't resist he's just too cute!!!!

but okokokok ruin guard x reader au. (below the cut bc it got long hehe)

it's an au where the First Field Tiller (FFT) is the main character and it turns out that the reason the FFT is more powerful than all the other ruin guards was bc it was SO powerful that it had acquired consciousness. or at least something that bordered on sentience. (khaenri'ah was intimidated by the fact that they'd created a machine that could think for itself, and that's the reason why none of the other field tillers that followed were so weak in comparison.) but yada yada this field tiller manages to escape khaenri'ah and it goes to mond in search of some kind of meaning for its miserable, dreadful life where it can only serve as a weapon of war.

FFT goes as far from khaenri'ah as it can and ends up in Old Mondstadt where it finds peace in the emptiness of the location. FFT doesn't want to hurt people, but it can't help the way it was programmed to attack anyone who draws near, so for years, FFT shoots warning missiles at anyone who wanders close to keep itself as closed off from the rest of the world as possible bc a war machine so powerful as itself doesnt deserve happiness, doesnt deserve to be in a place where its instincts might one day bomb everyone it loves, doesnt deserve to have a life like the humans that share its level of conscious thought.

cue the entrance of Reader: a confident and battle-hungry adrenaline junkie (lmao probably an ancestor of childe's) who takes the stories of The Tyrant's Final Fury as a challenge: and so Reader ventures into the domain of Old Mondstadt in an attempt to discover the Tyrant and defeat it. only, there's...a ruin guard? and it keeps backing away whenever Reader gets close? and when reader draws their sword, the ruin guard lets out the most agonized wail as its eye glows brighter—almost as if...as if it's resisting it's programmed fight responses?

Reader is too confused to fight, and through much trial and error, Reader discovers that this FFT has consciousness. enough to be able to interact almost like a human. soon, Reader finds that FFT can communicate by writing on the ground—and that FFT can actually hear and understand what Reader is saying.

it's a difficult affair, given that FFT's eye glows brighter and it's auto-programmed offenses threaten to trigger whenever Reader gets too close, but Reader gradually learns of the ruin guard's story, and the two grow close. it can't truly be considered love because love is such a human construct and this machine is anything but, yet...Reader finds solace in FFT's presence. it's hard when Reader has to constantly stay away to avoid triggering FFT's fight responses, but Reader feels calm in FFT's presence. the constant desire to kiil, the constant search for adrenaline, the eternal quest for something to hold Reader's attention...all of that goes away in FFT's presence.

as time wears on, Reader begins to trust FFT more and more.

unfortunately, FFT doesn't trust itself.

Reader wants FFT to begin weaning itself into public life, wants to slowly train the programmed fight-or-self-destruct response out of FFT. but FFT says no. FFT doesn't think that it's possible to overcome its base programming, doesn't think that it's possible for it to ever have a life where it can live among humans.

Reader disagrees.

trying to prove that FFT is stronger than it thinks it is, Reader steps closer to FFT, trying to show that look! you're not attacking me! you're strong enough to control your instincts! only...it doesn't go as planned.

the moment Reader steps too close to FFT, the ruin guard's eye glows a bright orange as it turns to life. in that instant, all the decades of humanity that had slowly begun to set in—the decades where FFT experienced loneliness, isolation, fear, and ultimately, love, at Reader's hand—is undone. only programming remains, and FFT was programmed to kill.

Reader is strong, however.

FFT's first blow is surprising, but Reader is a soldier of hundreds of battles, someone who seeks out bloodshed because they know they have the ability to effortlessly spill it. with strength, power, and skill that only Reader can possess, they effortlessly disarm the ruin guard, destroying its so that it can't move forward anymore.

with FFT's feet crushed, it has no way of stepping closer to attack. Reader takes that as an opportunity to try reasoning with the machine, praying that the sound of their voice will wake FFT up from this programmed nightmare, praying that the time they've already spent together won't have been wasted.

what Reader doesn't anticipate is the depth of detail with which khaenri'ah created FFT.

Reader's eyes are closed when the missiles hit, half-way through an earnest soliloquy about how they've finally gotten the chance to experience love because of FFT, how they know that FFT's own love will be strong enough to overpower its programming.

never in their wildest dreams could Reader have anticipated how FFT's back opened up, sprouting eight flaming missiles that all aimed for Reader's head.

the one mercy of Reader's death is that they have no time to anticipate it: one second, they're pouring their heart out to their lover, and the next, their skull is crushed to bits, bleeding out on the cement floor.

only with the threat vanquished does FFT's programmed defenses slowly begin to wane. a single glance at Reader's limp body is enough to understand what has happened.

the wail that leaves FFT's body is devastating. it can be heard across teyvat, and it's the sound that ultimately rouses stormterror, something that shakes the very world to its core.

all FFT wants is to crawl over to Reader and cradle their dead body in its arms as a final tribute to the love they once shared, but FFT's legs have been destroyed. it can only sit on the ground numbly, craning its head in the direction of its dead lover, forced to watch for the rest of eternity as Reader's body is picked apart by ravens and cranes, insects and lizards, worms and plants.

vaguely, FFT thinks that it deserves this punishment: khaenri'ah may have been its creator, but it was the one that chose to keep on living. it chose to survive in a world of the living when it could only ever bring death. programmed or not, it chose to do this to you.

it's the reason why when, centuries later, a traveler with strange clothes and a blonde man that FFT vaguely recognizes attempt to remove FFT's eye, its core, its central processing unit, the only thing keeping it alive—it lets them.

and when the quiet machine whirr that's followed FFT its entire life finally begins to fade, all it can think about is how, maybe, it'll get to see your face one more time after this.

#KHAENRI'AH SPOILERS #DAINSLEIF QUEST SPOILERS #GENSHIN SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT #TW: DEATH (under the cut)#TW: BLOOD (not graphic also under the cut)#🥺anon #spoilers for field tiller quest #spoilers for dainslief #tbh its not spoilery since most of its fanon but idk #this was so fucking difficult to write since reader is they/them in this (gender neutral) and FFT is it/its #uhhh angst #<3 #saved you for last bb so that this will be the final ask of the night bc i want people to read this tmrw <3

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bastardtetsu · 3 years

Text

you wake up on new years day trying to remember where you are and what you did last night, and both answers are the last thing you expected

++ warning: alcohol consumption, a lil bit of w33d // wc: 1k

[11:47am] the first thing you notice as you come to is the subtle yet pleasant scent—bergamot and baby powder—gently coaxing your nose to nuzzle further into the fabric, soft against your cheek.

you hazily begin to recall the events of the previous night, still in the limbo of consciousness between asleep and awake, where the borders of reality become blurry and you can’t quite tell the difference between a memory and a dream. the foggy remnants of drunkenness from last night definitely don’t help either.

you remember bokuto doing shots with you, and just about everyone else at the new year’s eve party. it was his go-to greeting every time he spotted a friend—he even managed to get tsukishima to begrudgingly knock one back with him.

you remember the game of king’s cup that dragged on longer than your liver would have preferred, and finally ended with the same salty blond from before having to chug the proverbial king’s cup, full of god-knows-how-many different kinds of booze, a scowl on his face as the rest of you cheered him on.

you can’t quite remember who handed you a blunt, or when it had even been rolled, but at that point a couple puffs was enough to have you crossfaded out of your mind before you passed it to tsukki, his long and slender fingers accepting it with a surprising amount of dexterity.

you remember kuroo running around looking for kenma, who had quietly gone home half an hour earlier, and bokuto falling on his ass in his own living room. you remember making a joke about it and tsukishima laughing— tsukishima laughing?? that part had to have been a dream. you're not sure when you finally passed out, who knows. did you even make it to the midnight countdown?

suddenly, an erratic thrumming catches your attention, as if your heart was beating directly in your ear. but it isn’t your heartbeat, you realize, and as the quickening rhythm draws you into consciousness, you finally register what—or rather, who exactly you’re currently snuggled up to.

forcing your eyes open, you cautiously turn your gaze upward, and your worst fears are confirmed.

tsukishima kei is already looking back down at you, eyes slightly widened behind his crooked glasses, blond hair disheveled and even more scraggly than usual. his accelerating heartbeat seems to halt completely when he meets your eyes, face flushing with a hint of pink.

fuck, fuck, fuck, his mind races as he tries to piece together what happened. you’re both still fully clothed, which is a good sign considering both of your states last night. but how had you ended up here: your head on his chest, his arm thrown over your waist, your legs tangled up together under the sheets of— whose bed even is this?

his relationship with you had never been anything like that—tsukishima had always considered you out of his league, anyway. yet here you are, waking up against his chest, looking up at him all bleary-eyed and sleepy, your hair a perfect mess, lips slightly parted—and of course his brain can do nothing but stop functioning altogether.

you just stare at him for a few seconds as reality comes back into focus, still not entirely sure that this isn’t another dream that you’re about to wake up from. but as you blink the sleep out of your eyes, registering the scent you awoke to as his own and the pulse of his heartbeat against the side of your face, the recollection of last night suddenly clicks in your head, and—

“uh… hi,” is the only semblance of a sentence you can manage with his golden brown eyes still fixed on you.

“… is that all you have to say?” his snide tone is betrayed by the bewilderment that lingers in his eyes.

“um,” you falter, “happy new year?”

he rolls his eyes with a click of his tongue, shifting his gaze away from you. however, the two of you remain in place, nestled together in— “are we in bokuto’s bed??” you suddenly ask.

“judging by the mess, i’m not sure whose else it could be,” tsukki mutters, still looking away.

you turn your head to get a look at your surroundings. there’s no doubt about it, this is bokuto’s room. “then where’s b— oh, right,” your memory jogs, “he passed out after beer pong. downstairs.”

“idiot,” the blond mumbles under his breath.

“then akaashi started cleaning,” you continue, “and i felt bad because i was too drunk to help, so i came up here…”

“that’s nice of you.”

your eyes snap back to his to shoot him a tiny glare. he lets you go on, “i came up here and found you, and…” you trail off, heat rushing to your face as the memories resurface in your mind.

you remember wandering into bokuto’s room in search of a phone charger and instead finding tsukki sprawled on the bed, surprisingly conscious and even more surprisingly sociable, inviting you to join him. you remember laying down with him, just next to him at first, but somehow laying down turned into cuddling, which turned into making out, which thankfully didn’t escalate much further than some heavy petting before you both passed out in other’s arms.

but that doesn’t stop his touches from lingering on your skin even now, still recalling the sensation of his lips on yours, hot breath making its way down your neck, long fingers tangling in your hair—

“and what?” tsukki presses, bringing you back to the present. his eyes are still boring into you, piercing as ever as you try to find your words.

“i—“

“AHHH—TSUKKI?? Y/N?!!??” a loud and distinct voice cuts you off. a wide-eyed bokuto stands in the doorway, jaw agape, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED??”

yeah, this is definitely doing to be difficult to explain.

a/n: i cannot. believ e the first thing i wrote in 2021,, is a fucking tsukki drabble. cursed asf, idk what this is an omen for but i’m already fed up with it. anyway uhh i hope you liked it this is the first thing i’ve written in like, weeks lmao

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei x you #e writes #.txt

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kaiunkaiku · 3 years

Text

Do I have requests in my inbox? Yes. Did I write this instead? Also yes. In my defense this was like 95% done because I actually wrote this in 2016 right when the dorms were introduced but then I just never published it lmao.

Fandom: BNHA

Summary: "His whole body aches with ghosts of healed bruises and scrapes, reminding him of how easy he actually got away while the heroes got beaten and slain and half of them are still lying in the ICU and it’s all his fault for getting kidnapped, for being so careless even when they were under an attack and for being so goddamn weak that he couldn’t even get himself out of there and his hands won’t stop shaking."

Warnings: Nightmares, panic attacks, vomiting, the usual post Hideout Raid arc KiriBaku shenanigans

Ao3

Enjoy!

Katsuki jolts awake with sparks at his fingertips, whole body dripping cold sweat onto his clean sheets. His black tank top clings to his back and chest, rustling lightly to the rhythm of his harsh breaths he's desperately fighting for. He looks around in a frenzied panic and for a moment he has no fucking idea where he is, because even though the room seems theoretically familiar with the posters, color scheme and sheets, it's not his room because there are things in weird places. The door is supposed to be ways to the left, his windows are smaller and he doesn't even have a desk like that – Until his brain catches up with reality and he realizes that this, in fact, is his room and that he actually does have a desk like that.

Because he's currently living in a dorm because he was kidnapped by the guys who went on and beat heroes after heroes and sent them to the hospital and All Might was defeated and Katsuki clenches his fists to stop them from shaking. His eyes start to slip closed but behind his eyelids is a den of villains, oceans of blood and cities of dead people, civilians and heroes alike, and Shigaraki Tomura's eerie voice whispering in his ears; become a villain, join us, how about that, you'd be great, you like winning too, huh?

A shiver travels up his spine and he forces his eyes open as he pulls his knees closer to his chest. His hands are still shaking and he can't seem to stop it, just like he can't seem to get his breathing in check. The nightmares blend together with the recent events and make a nest at the back of his mind and refuse to leave him alone. The darkness of the room feels oppressive, almost, and he reaches for the lamp on the nightstand before realizing that his lamp broke while being transported and thus he does not currently have a lamp.

The room feels cold and Katsuki shivers again. His whole body aches with ghosts of healed bruises and scrapes, reminding him of how easy he actually got away while the heroes got beaten and slain and half of them are still lying in the ICU and it’s all his fault for getting kidnapped, for being so careless even when they were under an attack and for being so goddamn weak that he couldn’t even get himself out of there and his hands won’t stop shaking.

He draws in a breath. It’s as shaky as his hands and noticeably difficult and he takes another one, and another after that and it doesn’t get significantly easier. In theory, he knows that he’s probably having some sort of a panic attack, but the knowledge does nothing to help him – on the contrary, knowing what’s happening sends his thoughts into a new spiral of calm the fuck down and start breathing you fucking idiot and fucking hell if I can’t even control my own body. His hands feel numb, his face feels numb and his skin is crawling and he feels like he might throw up. His chest feels hollow and cold, his ears are ringing and there’s Shigaraki’s voice again, black liquid crawling up his throat and swallowing him up and Katsuki scrambles up and makes a dash for the bathroom door. He doesn't even bother to turn the lights on, doesn't have the luxury of time to hit the switch before he's hacking up the measly contents of his stomach. He hasn't eaten properly in a few days, hasn't really had the appetite to eat anything.

When the nausea finally passes after a good five minutes of dry heaving, Katsuki is drenched in sweat and his hands are still shaking. He still can't breathe properly and he feels lightheaded. Rationally, he knows he has to get himself to calm down, but actually doing it is a completely different thing. He tries to think about anything else, but his head keeps repeating and going through the events of that god-awful night. Eventually though, his mind provides him with an image of Kirishima reaching out to him, Kirishima with his ridiculous spiky red hair and sharp teeth calling for him, and Bakugou remembers a blast and then Kirishima’s hand was holding his. Kirishima's hand was warm and felt like safety and at that moment Katsuki didn't give a single fuck about Deku or anyone else.

There are sparks at the tips of his fingers again. He notices them a second too late, and one triggers an explosion in his sweaty, shaking hands and he’s back in the loop with Shigaraki’s voice floating around his head.

XxX

Eijirou wakes up to the sound of an explosion. It takes a few disoriented seconds for him to realize where he is, and then he's out of the door. At his left Shouji stumbles into the dark hallway as well, looking exactly like Eijirou would expect anyone to look at what-the-fuck AM. He himself doesn't probably look any better.

It's obvious that the sound came from Bakugou's room. They both stay quiet for a short while, listening for signs of a struggle or a fight, but the hallway stays silent. The boys share a confused look, with no small amount of concern mixed in, because if they both heard the explosion then it was not a dream and there's something wrong with Bakugou. Not that Eijirou hadn't noticed something off before, but this is a surefire testament to wrong, loud and clear.

"I'll go check on him," Eijirou says quietly, glancing at Bakugou's door. Shouji nods and retreats back to his own room. By now, the whole class has pretty much understood how the main aspects of Bakugou's personality work – question his pride, ask if he needs help and be explodo-killed. Eijirou seems to be an exception to this, though, so it's an easy decision.

Eijirou watches as Shouji's door closes and takes a deep breath. Bakugou hasn't told him much about... that, though Eijirou suspects he knows more than anyone else. Sure, the police and the professional heroes know the cold, hard facts, but Eijirou knows Bakugou's personal perspective. Not everything, not even close, and he's not about to force anything out of his friend, but there's one sentence, though downplayed from what Eijirou could conclude from a shaky voice and gritted teeth, that chills him right down to his core.

XxX

It's been two days since they rescued Bakugou. It's been two days since Japan lost its symbol of peace. Bakugou is under strict orders from the police not to leave the house under any and all circumstances, so when neither one of them is being interviewed by the authorities and Eijirou’s parents aren't demanding their son home, Eijirou has taken to spending time at Bakugou's. He's learnt to read the other boy well enough to realize that being alone isn't the ideal state right now, even if Bakugou would never say it out loud.

Eijirou fills the silence with pointless chatter. Though there is music playing, it feels important not to let Bakugou forget that he isn't alone, so he talks about TV shows, games, comics and gossip, never mentioning heroes or school or God forbid news. It works between them just fine. Bakugou isn't really talkative, not to mention that he's tired thanks to the crowding, endlessly curious officers that won't stop asking the same damn questions, thanks to being treated by Recovery Girl and thanks to the nightmares, so he lets Eijirou handle the talking and settles for reacting to stories and grunting answers to questions.

It's been two days and Bakugou has persistently refused to meet any kind of a shrink both the police officers and the doctors have recommended. It's been two days and Eijirou knows about the nightmares even though he hasn't been explicitly told, and he's worried about his friend. So it's been two days when Eijirou finally asks the question.

"Are you okay?" he asks in between two silences, voice soft in order to not freak Bakugou out. Bakugou tenses up, shoulders rising to his ears, fingers and toes curling up.

"Perfect," he mutters through gritted teeth, after a slightly-too-long moment of hesitation. He's lying, obviously, and Eijirou, perhaps against his better judgement, decides to push one step further.

"Do you... wanna, you know, talk about it?" And it's that single question that sends Bakugou teetering over the edge. He scrambles up from his bed and right to his feet, stance defensive before he's even standing.

"The fuck do you wanna know?" he snarls, voice threatening, but there's a shaky undertone. He waits for a blink, eyes wide, and then he loses all sense of an inside voice. "THE FUCK DO YOU WANNA KNOW? WANNA KNOW WHAT THEY DID? WHAT THEY SAID? HOW I FELT WHEN EVERYTHING WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FINE AND THEN WENT TO ABSOLUTE FUCKING HELL? FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR QUESTIONS, FUCK ALL OF THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT!" Bakugou stops screaming, panting. His shoulders hunch, but he regains his stance the second Eijirou moves to stand up from the beanbag he's been nested in. "What do you people want?" Bakugou then asks, exhaustion setting in.

Eijirou takes a step forward, keeping his hands in front of him. Bakugou looks ready to fight.

"Just what you're ready to tell me. That's all I wanna know, okay? Nothing more." Eijirou keeps his voice steady as he takes another step forward. Bakugou stares at him and lets his shoulders down again, and then he drops his whole weight back onto the edge of his bed. He squeezes his eyes shut and drops his head, too, as his nails dig into the mattress. Eijirou crosses the distance between them in two steps and settles next to his friend.

"I was scared," Bakugou whispers, voice shaking and breath hitching and he sounds so angry at himself. "I was so goddamn scared." And Eijirou knows he was probably terrified out of his mind, but it doesn't matter. What matters right now is that Bakugou is squeezing his hand for dear life, and Eijirou has no intention of letting go.

XxX

Eijirou stands in front of Bakugou's door for a moment, hearing Bakugou tell him "I was scared" over and over again and he wants nothing more than to keep Bakugou in his arms forever and ever and protect him from everyone and everything. He takes a deep breath and knocks.

"Bakugou? It's Kirishima," he says. There's a distinct possibility that Bakugou has absolutely no intention of opening the door, but Eijirou hopes that maybe, just maybe it's different with him.

Footsteps approaching the door tell him that he's right. He takes a step back and waits as the boy on the other side fumbles with the knob. Eijirou briefly thinks that maybe he should have pulled on a shirt or something, but then again he's been out of bed for less than a minute and he doesn't really care, and he's pretty sure Bakugou doesn't either.

Finally the door is yanked open. Bakugou is wearing shorts and a tank top, and he looks awful. He's shaking all over, face pale and eyes rimmed red even in the darkness. He's not breathing properly.

Eijirou surges in and closes the door behind him because this is a sign of trust, might be the biggest indication of trust he has ever been given, and he is not about to ruin it by gaping openly at his friend, let alone keeping the door open for the whole world to see, even if it’s in the middle of the night and there's no one to see – no one even awake, besides them.

(He hopes, at least.)

Bakugou's room is just as dark as everything else in the building. Bakugou himself stands in the middle of it, fighting for every short breath he takes and shaking like a leaf in a storm. Eijirou stops on his tracks and tries to look as non-threatening as possible, because Bakugou, in addition to looking absolutely miserable, also looks like just about anything could throw him over the metaphorical edge of his sanity and plunging right into the cold embrace of his fight-or-flight response, and Eijirou seriously doubts Bakugou has a flight option even programmed into his brain.

"Bakugou, I'm gonna turn on the lights, okay?" Eijirou says as he fumbles for the light switch without turning his back to Bakugou. Handling him is kind of like defusing a bomb, Eijirou thinks. Bakugou flinches when the lights flicker to life, and now Eijirou can see how pale his friend really looks, how his shirt clings to his chest with sweat. There's a terrified look in his eyes, but he stays still as Eijirou walks to him slowly.

"What happened?"

XxX

"What happened?" Kirishima asks. His voice sounds soft and like he really, truly wants to help, and it takes all of Katsuki’s self-control to not reduce himself into a sobbing mess. He doesn't do that.

Katsuki is still getting dizzier by the minute, because he still can't breathe and his hands are still shaking and he still feels like if he closed his eyes he would be back there. He feels something brush the back of his hand and then Kirishima is standing in front of him, silently asking for permission to take his hand. Katsuki complies, reaching for Kirishima's hand, and then Kirishima intertwines their fingers and Katsuki finally finds it in himself to shake his head to the still lingering question. Kirishima seems to get this, because he changes his approach.

"What's wrong, then?"

"Can't breathe," Katsuki chokes. He feels like he's drowning, has felt like he was drowning since the minute he woke up and he has no idea how long it has been. The room is swaying, or maybe that's just him, but Kirishima's hand holding his is anchoring him to the present and that's probably good, he thinks.

"Okay, we're gonna take care of that first. I count and you breathe, yeah?" Katsuki nods and the next thing he knows, Kirishima has maneuvered both of them to the floor. Kirishima counts in intervals of five, emphasizing the numbers with first Katsuki’s fingers, then his own and then Katsuki’s again, and not once does he let go of Katsuki’s hand.

In minutes, Katsuki finds himself breathing easier. The tremors traveling up and down his spine and limbs slowly come to a stop. Kirishima is endlessly patient, rubbing Katsuki’s knuckles with his thumb and keeping up the count until Katsuki can do it himself. Kirishima's voice distracts him from the ringing of his ears, and the light chases away the eerie whispers throwing themselves around in his head. He's tired, exhausted, and he finally lets his eyes slide shut as he rests his head on Kirishima's bare shoulder.

"You okay now?" Kirishima's voice wafts softly to Katsuki’s ears. He nods slowly, hesitant, but in the end maybe he is, now that he can breathe again and doesn't see blood and death when he closes his eyes.

"That's good," Kirishima sighs, sounding relieved. "So, uh..." He starts drawing circles on Katsuki’s back. Katsuki lets him. "What happened?"

Katsuki tenses up at the question; his heart skips a beat and he stops breathing for a second. He can't. He can't, he can't go over this again, not right now, not when he's still scared as fuck and it's so stupid, he's supposed to be a hero-in-training and here he is, helplessly clinging to a friend because of a nightmare. And Kirishima is so fucking understanding and so fucking emphatic and –

"Just what you're ready to tell, yeah? Just what you're ready to tell."

– so fucking comforting.

"Nothing," he growls in response, because Kirishima can be anything he likes but he's still not going to start talking about his feelings. "Absolutely fucking nothing."

XxX

Absolutely fucking nothing, my ass, Eijirou thinks. Bakugou is still sweating, and it doesn't take a genius to put the puzzle pieces together – Bakugou was obviously having something akin to a panic attack when he came in, and Eijirou knows about the nightmares. He doesn't want to force anything, doesn't want to pressure his friend to go through whatever-the-hell happened in his head again, but Bakugou's lie is so painfully obvious that he can't just leave it at that.

"I heard an explosion. Shouji heard it too," Eijirou tells, pulling away from Bakugou so he can see his face. Bakugou isn't looking at him.

"It's stupid," he mutters. "Forget it."

Eijirou takes a deep breath and prepares for the shitstorm his next comment is bound to cause. He doesn’t know when he became such a goddamn masochist.

"It's not stupid if it makes you upset." The moment the words leave his lips he realizes how incredibly cliché he sounds. Bakugou's face scrunches up and he lets go of Eijirou’s hand as if the contact suddenly burned.

"It is," Bakugou hisses back and stands up. "It fucking is because I'm supposed to be in control of my fucking quirk and then I have a fucking nightmare, a bad fucking dream and I'm exploding all over the fucking place like a fucking pre-schooler and I am so fucking tired of things not going how they should go!" Bakugou is rambling now, pacing, with his hands nervously messing his hair up further. Eijirou doesn't try to stop him, because at least he's talking now.

Bakugou is a perfectionist by nature, Eijirou knows. He's scary smart, too, and not just by his grades – he makes calculations and constructs scenarios in his head even if his actions don't always look like it, so he can't be too accustomed to things sliding out of control as badly as they did at the training camp, let alone during the rescue operation. Eijirou also knows that Bakugou has been praised as a genius his whole life, so the expectations must be huge. Even overwhelming, at times like this, no matter how he appears outside.

And now he's allowing Eijirou to see past his shell.

Eijirou gets up, too. He has no idea of the time, doesn't know how long he has been awake or how many hours he still has left until morning, but the relevance of time has figuratively flown out of the window by now. He crosses the distance between the two of them. Bakugou is still pacing, looking like stopping isn't an option anymore, but Eijirou reaches for his hand anyway.

He's fully expecting Bakugou to bat his hand away, so his surprise nearly sends him reeling back when Bakugou comes to a stop and actually lets him take his hand. Eijirou gives a tentative tug, soft and barely there and he’s not really expecting it to do anything, but Bakugou practically collapses right into him. His head falls on Eijirou’s shoulder again, forehead on bare skin and soft hair tickling Eijirou’s ear and cheek. There’s a shuddering inhale and a huff of hot air, and for a moment Eijirou forgets how to speak. How to move. How to think.

It suddenly occurs to him that he’s pretty much naked, in the middle of the night, in Bakugou Katsuki’s room. He doesn’t know what they are, exactly, but he does know that he’s wanted to kiss Bakugou for a while now (his original plan concerning his personal life, when starting high school, was to kiss as many cute guys who were also interested in kissing guys he could find. That plan hasn’t existed since late April. He really hopes Bakugou is interested in kissing guys). This is a terrible and very inappropriate train of thought right now. He’s holding Bakugou’s hand. He’s holding Bakugou’s hand.

Mentally shaking himself, Eijirou brings his free hand, the one that’s not holding Bakugou’s hand between them, to the back of Bakugou’s head. Bakugou’s shaking fist clenches on his shoulder.

“You’re okay,” Eijirou whispers to somewhere between Bakugou’s hair and the still air of the room. Shifts his head so he can repeat the words into Bakugou’s hair. It’s ridiculously soft.

Somehow, at some point, they end up sitting on the edge of Bakugou’s bed next to each other. Bakugou has calmed down significantly, but the panic definitely left with a price – he’s starting to look like he’s going to crash any minute now. It’s like he barely has the strength to keep his head up, and even that’s propped on his hands, which in turn are supported by his knees.

Eijirou watches him for a moment, one he could measure if time had any meaning right now, and wonders if he should start heading back to his own room. He doesn’t know if he wants to leave Bakugou alone, though.

“Do you wanna go back to sleep?” he asks eventually; quietly.

Bakugou heaves a sigh. “Fuck no,” he says, tone exhausted, and presses his knuckles to his eyes.

“Okay. You want me to sit with you for a while?”

Bakugou turns to look at him.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “Yeah, okay.”

And if Bakugou's hand finds its way back to his, well. No one needs to know.

#kiribaku #bakushima #fanfiction #boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha fanfiction #my writing

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autisticlalna · 3 years

Note

BRUH!!!!! the pmv was so gorgeous and cool!!! all the scenes from all the tales were so ahhhh, like karl looking up at liaria, the sword legit looked terrifying, and the EGG, bro, the egg looked so cool!!!! and honk in the library!! honk in the in between!!!!!!! bruh all the parallels between honk and karl both looking at the books, putting up the posters, that bit where honk handed karl the book in the in between oh my gosh!! and honk's development, going from yellow and angry to getting white and friendly and then at the end, like honk alone in the library all sad like he took karl's place as the only one keeping the tales like????? bro that was so cool thank you so much for making it and sharing it and ahh!!! are you willing to talk about it at all, like little symbolism or cameos or cool bits folks might miss their first time watching?

AAAAAAAAHHHH OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD [SOBS] THANK YOUUUUU

im! really glad everyone liked it so much,, i put a lot of effort into it making sure i got the vibes right and everything flowed together the way i wanted while still fitting the lyrics, and it was deffo a learning experience lmao,, im so so glad i was able to get everything across >w<

i have!! a lot to say about the pmv!! so thank you for giving me a reason to HLKDJXHDF im gonna put it under a cut bc im about to go off

the idea that kickstarted the pmv was basically like. so karl’s shadow is “corrupted” by the inbetween, and part of that includes him gaining the memories karl loses. so... what happens when karl loses all of his memories? is there a point where honk is more like karl than karl himself is? honk is fully aware of this possibility, but he can’t do anything about it-- karl Needs to keep traveling, and because the inbetween is using honk as a way to guide karl he can’t tell karl to stop. not that he’s sure karl would listen to him in the first place, and the situation is out of their control anyway. neither of them want to be like this.

my fav panel is this one:

bc its like, its got Exactly the vibes i was wanting for it and also even tho i detest drawing the inbetween bc architecture is difficult i really like how the background came out XF,JKHFKJ,, honestly both of the big reveal panels came out great but this is one i wouldve used as a thumbnail if not for it being a twist (and also wanting karl to be in the thumbnail as well bc. he’s the other focal point.)

liaria’s sword is an actual sword i found after googling “fancy rapier”:

its like, a flamberge rapier? and it was VERY HARD TO DRAW and it looks so impractical i love it. the idea for it was that when everyone went murdermode at the masquerade, they grabbed a weapon sir billiam had on display-- like, this man is stupidly rich, he hosts balls with the goal of everyone dying at the end, he definitely just has display cases of swords lying around for people to conveniently grab. ranbutler was also supposed to have a fancy sword but after struggling to draw liaria’s rapier i did Not want to bother so he has like. a cutlass? i guess?? he was originally going to be holding the sword overhead to stab down on karl, but there wasnt a way i could pose it without his face being obscured or the angle being super weird

im pretty sure a couple of my friends will not forgive me for this:

which HURT to draw. i wasnt entirely sure how to clearly get across karl Forgetting stuff & freaking out over it, so obligatory photos w/ faces scribbled out-- quackity’s wearing 2 rings from both karl & sapnap, and sapnap’s photo was intended to be candid but he realized what quackity was doing and wasn’t fast enough to fully block the camera

also, my roommate caught this detail, but ranbob’s silhouette is the dream blob!:

ON A LIGHTER NOTE, my fav stupid background detail is this sequence:

sapnap’s chilling out in the background while karl is talking to honk at kinoko (he’s making sure honk is included in things! “we have to go together”!), george yells at him to stop being lazy (despite ALSO slacking off), and then runs for his life as sapnap decides to start up the game of “kill george” again, which he also did offscreen in the beginning of the pmv:

my fav segment overall is probably karl&honk setting up the libraries, like w/ karl setting up the og library near party park and honk setting up the one at kinoko! and then also this bit during the village that went mad:

that segment was one i could see REALLY clearly in my head when first planning this out and it came out p much exactly as i wanted to and it was SO cool. LIKE, DANG, speaking of village, the person holding the axe is intended to be jack! bc at this point karl is just an observer from up on the tower writing everything down. the writing in his book was supposed to be the actual tale summary in the library, but i couldnt find it anywhere so its just squiggles.

uhh what else OH when honk is being summoned during the “i am currently under construction / thank you for your patience” verse, he gets more detailed with each panel-- its a bit hard to see in the finished pmv bc of transparency, but here’s the unedited panels:

with that last panel being more detailed than i drew karl in the entire pmv :,D SYMBOLISM, I THINK,

i also managed to get through the entire pmv with making only one (1) art mistake that’s right at the end orz im surprised i managed to keep the swirl colour on karl’s hoodie consistent w the time of each segment. honk changing colour as things progress also ended up being VERY HELPFUL to show at what point things are happening, bc things are a bit out of order with like, flashbacks & flashforwards and shenanigans

i think thats about it! if anybody has any questions abt specific panels they can ask and ill ramble :D

#leos reply #dsmp #shadow people au #Anonymous #leo.txt

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

times being what they are (crystal x gigi) - Cupid

orpheus and eurydice lesbian au!

a/n hi so this has so many greek mythology references and i tried to explain each god as much as i could but i didn’t want to turn it into a factfile and draw the story away from the queens, but i hope you still get it. but basically this is the story of orpheus & eurydice but it is crystal & gigi. there are also a lot of song references to the hadestown musical but it’s okay if you don’t know them too cause all they add to the story is poetics lmao.

…

Crystal had practically been raised by the gods. Her mother was a muse, and muses were infamous for abandoning those close to them; leaving with no return. The innocent brunette was left to fend for herself in life, living in the many stretched out meadows across Thrace. Although she often felt lonesome, there was nowhere she wanted to be more than Greece. Living there was like a paradise, only she wished she had someone to live in it with.

As she grew up, the gods gave her strength. The great God Apollo gifted her with a lyre on her sixteenth birthday. Confused as to what it was, the God assisted her by showing her how to pluck each string to create a pleasing melody. Crystal became quickly enticed. The instrument never left her grasp from then on.

After being gifted the lyre, she discovered her ability to charm the animals and make the trees dance around like a gentle wind was being swept through them. However, there was no real ‘gentle wind.’ It was either blazing hot or freezing cold, with no in-between. It had been years since Crystal recalled seeing a spring or fall. What she wanted most in the world was to strum a song so beautiful and powerful, spring would come again. Unfortunately, that dream came with a slight naiveness to the ways of the world. Many would say she wore her heart upon her sleeve.

When she was eighteen, she met Hermes, the great messenger of the Olympian Gods. He liked Crystal’s way of seeing things, so he took her under his wing. The God had heard her melody and recognized it. It was an old song of love from long ago. It told the story of the love between the great Gods Hades and Persephone. It was their relationship that messed up the seasons, and instantly Hermes knew that only Crystal had the capacity to bring the seasons back to normal. She had a way with words, and she sang like a bird upon a line.

Crystal was yet to finish the song, but when it was done, it would bring the seasons back into full bloom, bringing peace to the world and returning it to its rightful state.

She and Hermes stumbled into a bar one night, not long after Crystal’s twenty-first birthday. She was anxious, as she still had not finished her tune.

“It’s okay, Crystal. You have all the time in the world,” Hermes comforted, leaning against the bar counter in a cool manner.

“I just want to help the people,” she replied softly.

“I know you do.”

…

Gigi was a hungry young girl - a runaway from everywhere she’d ever been. She was no stranger to the world, but she never stayed anywhere long enough for anyone to catch her name. Nobody owned her, nobody knew her, and if someone would ever so much as think they recognized her, it was her time to flee. It wasn’t that she was running from an enemy, but she was running from intimacy, as well as the fatal changes in weather that always seemed to take a turn on her.

She felt helpless most of the time. The poor blonde yearned to see a flower bloom, for she heard that is what happened during spring. But instead, all she saw was hunger and hardship, no matter where she went. The only friends she ever had either died of starvation or turned on her just like the wind. She had concluded that, in the end, she was better off alone.

Something curious about the girl was that all her life, she had been followed by a chorus of three women - the Fates. They watched over her as if they were waiting for something to happen. Wherever it was the young girl went, the three women followed close behind.

Gigi struggled to find a purpose. She would sit in bars alone, dreaming of a belly full of food and a bed she could fall into where the weather wouldn’t follow her.

It was yet another blistering night when she found herself reeling in the bitter taste of alcohol to feel something. The bar was dark, and there was no music - just a low hum of chatter between groups of friends. She didn’t bother to look at the people surrounding her in case she accidentally made eye contact.

…

Crystal was only on her second drink when she spotted a young woman across the bar, sitting by a round table and drinking alone. She had dark blonde hair with streaks of gold throughout. Her hair was long and wavy, but it had been tucked under the collar of her large, heavy-looking trench coat. Her neck was covered by a red paisley scarf - much like the one Crystal had around her own neck. She seemed to sink her solemn-looking face into it, and Crystal was overwhelmed with her beauty. The woman was a nymph, which seemed to explain her elegant looks and relaxing presence.

“You aren’t the most discreet,” Hermes smirked, nudging the girl and causing her drink to splash around.

“I can’t help it,” Crystal sighed, “Look at her. Isn’t she ethereal?”

The God smiled and cast a quick glance in the girl’s direction. Crystal had a point. “You wanna talk to her?”

“Yes.”

“Go on.”

Hermes watched as Crystal pushed her seat back, adjusting the buttons on her cream-colored shirt. “Crystal,” he stopped her briefly before she went ahead.

“Yes?”

“Don’t come on too strong.”

The brunette nodded, tugging on one of her tight curls subconsciously as she approached the pretty woman. Right before she sat down, the woman raised her head to shoot a glance at her. She looked amused in an ‘I feel so bad for you right now’ kind of look. Crystal brushed it off.

“Come home with me,” the brunette rushed out, and the woman squinted her eyes instantly, though she seemed unphased.

“Who are you?” she snorted.

“The girl who’s going to marry you,” she swallowed, “I’m Crystal.”

The woman then shot a glance to Hermes who was watching the conversation with a hand cupped over his mouth, trying to hold back pathetic laughter.

“Is she always like this?” the woman inquired.

“Yes,” he responded with a grin.

She rolled her eyes, turning back to Crystal and giving her a pale, slender hand, waiting for her to shake it, “I’m Gigi.”

“Your name is like a melody.”

“A singer?” Is that what you are?”

Crystal felt a blush creep across her face, “I also play the lyre.”

“Oh, a liar and a player too,” Gigi deadpanned, her expression making it hard to differentiate whether or not she was being serious or not, “I’ve met too many people like you…”

“Oh no! I’m not like that…”

Hermes cut in, “She’s not like anyone you’ve met,” both girls turned to look at him, taken aback, “Tell her what you’re working on.”

Crystal nodded quickly, trying to gain all the confidence back from before. Perhaps she had lost her mojo. Perhaps her charm wasn’t as great as Hermes had hyped it up to be.

“I’m working on a song,” she stammered, “It isn’t finished yet, but when it’s done, and when I sing it, spring will come again!”

Gigi was in disbelief. Spring was all she wanted. All these years she had tried to find a way to bring the weather back to how it was before, so there was no way this scrawny little girl’s vocal cords could possibly do the trick. Albeit, the girl was extremely pretty. So much so that she stuck out among others. Out of place yet so, so right. “Come again?” - was all she could think to say.

“Spring will come.”

“When? I haven’t seen or fall since,” she scoffed, “Well, I can’t even remember.”

“That’s what I’m working on,” Crystal asserted, the passion in her voice making it difficult for Gigi not to beam with hope and joy, “A song to fix what’s wrong - to fix what’s broken and make it whole. A song so beautiful, it brings the world back into tune… back into time… and all the flowers will bloom,” she placed a tanned hand over Gigi’s, “When you become my wife.”

Gigi glanced at Hermes once more, her eyes widening, “Oh she’s crazy. Why would I become her wife?”

Hermes folded his arms and shrugged, “Maybe because she’ll make you feel alive.”

Now it was the blonde’s turn to feel her face heat up. Although she had been living for twenty-one years, surviving through many obstacles, she had never truly felt alive. She looked at Crystal - really looked at her - and saw the slight quiver of her lips, as if she were going to burst into tears if Gigi didn’t accept her offer. She was so insanely gorgeous, she made Gigi want to throw away the ability to say no, but that didn’t stop the blonde from teasing her a bit.

“Alive…” Gigi raised a brow, “That’s worth a lot. Do you have your lyre? I want you to play me this song, if it means ‘spring will come again.’”

“It isn’t finished yet.”

“Sing it. You wanna take me home?”

“Yes.”

“Then sing the song.”

Hermes floated over, gently passing the lyre that seemed to appear out of nowhere to Crystal. He then led the two women outside, to where the lakes ahead were frozen over for miles. Furthermore; Crystal began to strum.

The song started off tame, with the mere plucking of three of the golden strings, but then Gigi began to feel a feeling of warmth when Crystal began to sing. There were no real words - just a melody of la la las - but soon enough, somehow, the fates began to join in. They all harmonized together in an almost hypnotic chorus, and Gigi felt faint when she saw the glowing sun appear from behind the clouds, the green grass appear from under the snow, and the trees begin to sway with the rhythm of the tune.

It was over too fast, and Gigi’s feeling of Euphoria was short-lived, but still, she felt blown away.

“How’d you do that?”

“I don’t know. The song’s not finished, though.”

“Even so, it can do this,” she breathed, experiencing a feeling of floating as she pointed at the small snowdrop buds appearing through the damp grass. “You have to finish it.”

“Well,” Hermes grinned, “I’ll leave you to it,” and with that he glided away, leaving the songbird and lone wolf alone, in the middle of nowhere, outside a run-down bar.

Gigi bit her lip and reached forward, connecting her leather fingerless gloved hand to the shorter girl’s. Crystal looked up at her with desperation and promise in her eyes, intertwining their fingers and holding her close.

The brunette scrunched up her nose, presenting one of the cutest faces Gigi had ever witnessed, before speaking, “So…” her gaze moved to Gigi’s full lips, which the blonde had just dampened with her tongue, “Can I take you home now?”

“Shut up,” Gigi rushed out, grabbing Crystal by the tatty collars of her white button-up, pulling her closed and pressing their lips together. They both knew what was going to happen moments before it did. And to Crystal, those few moments of tension and anticipation were an eternity.

Gigi never wanted the beauty of the kiss to end, so she closed her eyes and let her vision fall into darkness. It wasn’t the terrifying kind that she experienced day-by-day - it was comforting. Their lips moved together gently, a tentative dance to them. Gigi’s hands became tangled in Crystal’s mullet as she immersed herself deeper into the kiss. Crystal’s hands ducked under the blonde’s jacket, feeling the soft cotton of her vest below. Her hands moved upward, towards her breast, and smirked against her lips at the lack of bra. Their tongues began to dance together slowly, like a waltz, and Crystal melted into it.

Unfortunately for them both, it simply couldn’t last forever. They pulled away after five minutes of electronic touching, and Crystal was lost for breath.

“Will you come home with me?” she asked for the last time that night.

“Of course,” Gigi simpered.

“And will you marry me?”

“Depends how good you make me feel tonight.”

And oh boy, she made her feel infinite.

…

After weeks of planning and falling in love with one another, the day of their wedding finally came. The day was bright and clear, and both girls dressed up in white lace gowns that their local seamstress had begun working on the day their marriage was announced.

Crystal was rubbing red berries on her lips to tint them when Gigi walked in, hands clasped behind her back as if she were holding something. The brunette looked at her wife-to-be through the mirror with curiosity.

“What is that?” she asked, excitement bubbling up inside her. The wedding nerves left her feeling like she was tipsy from alcohol, despite not having drunk anything yet.

“Persephone gifted it to me to give to you…” Gigi smiled, tugging on her lower lip. She showed Crystal what was in her hands, and the brunette gasped instantly.

It was a delicately woven flower crown with many different colors and meanings. Crystal had never seen such beauty, and now it was hers. She didn’t want to touch it in case she broke it, but Gigi still approached her from behind and carefully placed it over her head. The brunette admired the variety of flowers in the crown; white camellias, red chrysanthemums, pink gloxinias, calla lilies, red poppies, and orchids.

“It’s so beautiful,” she sighed, inhaling the many scents of the beautiful flowers.

“It suits you,” Gigi grinned, gently squeezing her shoulders, “My future wife.”

“Tell me what they all mean.”

“Alright.”

Gigi softly twirled a few of Crystal’s curls around her finger as she explained the symbolism behind each flower.

“The white camellias mean ‘you’re adorable,’ which is quite self-explanatory, the red chrysanthemums mean I love you, because I do. You are the only person I have ever loved and I- well I didn’t think I could feel such strong affection for someone but, for once, I have been proven wrong. The gloxinias mean love at first sight, because I believe that’s what I experienced. When you first spoke to me… I had this overwhelming sensation that I had never felt before, and I think that was Aphrodite telling me that this was love. The calla lilies mean beauty, because that’s what you possess, and the red poppies mean pleasure.”

Crystal blushed and bit her lip, trying to contain a laugh, as well as a tear.

“And orchids are the full package. They mean love, beauty, refinement, beautiful lady, and they’re a Chinese symbol for fertility, because someday, I want to start a family with you.”

The brunette leaned her head back - though still wary of the precious crown on her head - and sniffled, “I love you.”

Gigi wrapped her arms around her lover’s neck, pecking a gentle, barely-there kiss on the back of her head, “I know you do baby. Now, let me go put a ring on your finger.”

They walked hand in hand outside, into the grassy meadow filled with townspeople there to celebrate the two lovebirds. A choir of muses sang as they walked down the aisle, petals being thrown at them by the children of their neighbors. The weather was just right that day, the grass was green and damp beneath their bare feet, and the sky was blue - much like Gigi’s blue eyes.

They exchanged vows, as any couple would, and Hymanios, the god of marriage, blessed the day.

“You may kiss the bride,” he said joyfully, and the two girls squealed in excitement as they pulled one another in, whispering ‘I love yous’ as well as other sweet nothings against one another’s lips, inaudible to their audience.

The two of them had been lonesome for so long to the point that they didn’t even know they were lonely, but when they took each other in their arms, suddenly there was sunlight all around them. The world seemed so bright and warm, and it shone like it never did before. And - just for a moment - they forgot how dark and cold it could get.

“Say that you’ll hold me forever, and the wind won’t change on us,” Crystal mumbled against her wife’s lips, “Say it will always be like this.”

A tear made its way down the taller woman’s cheek, as she raised her slender hand to cup the softness of Crystal’s cheekbone, “I’m gonna hold you forever, and the wind will never change on us. As long as we stay with each other, then it will always be like this.”

Not long after, the newlyweds presented their great feast to fill the bellies of the starving townspeople. Ambrosia, the god of food and drink blessed them with it, allowing them to eat and have peace - something which they didn’t get to experience often.

They feasted, they sang, they told stories and filled their surroundings with laughter and gaiety, until the sky grew dark, and the townspeople dispersed. They left Gigi and Crystal alone, sitting together at the large table, starry-eyed. They remained like that for an hour, Crystal braiding her wife’s hair and peppering kisses along her neck until it began to get chilly, and they knew it was time to go.

To reach home, the couple would have to take a route through a small woodland forest at the corner of town. They held hands as they walked, and Gigi was fascinated with each animal she saw pass through the bushes. Crystal had to physically hold her back from rushing over to pet a small frog.

“Come on baby, let’s get ho-” the brunette couldn’t finish her sentence, because suddenly a figure jumped out at her from the bushes, making an attempt to leap at her and tackle her to the ground.

In a swift move, Crystal grabbed Gigi’s hand and they shot off, headlong, through the overgrown forest. They didn’t know whether or not they were being chased, and they were too filled with adrenaline to check.

What they didn’t know was that it was a man that jumped from the bushes, and said man had been waiting there for hours, waiting for Crystal to pass so he could go in for the kill. The man was a shepherd called Aristaeus, and ever since the marriage of Crystal and Gigi was announced, he had been plotting to conquer the latter. Much like other men, he desired the nymph for his own, and had planned to annihilate Crystal if it meant he could reach her.

What they also didn’t know was that he was chasing them, and the chase was lasting a very long time. Thunder clouds roared above them and it was a race against time to see if they would survive or either be killed by Aristaeus or the coming storm.

On and on they ran together, until suddenly, Gigi fell to the ground. Assuming she had merely tripped on a small branch, Crystal reached down to assist her up, but Gigi’s hand slipped from her grasp. The brunette couldn’t quite comprehend what happened, but she did know that the shepherd was thankfully nowhere in sight.

Her heart sank when she noticed the deathly pallor in her wife’s cheek. The blonde had always been pale, but the usual rosy tint on her cheeks and lips had completely disappeared. Crystal stopped short in dismay when she stepped back, scanned their surroundings, and saw a nest of snakes right where they had just stepped. Gigi must’ve stepped in it. That was when Crystal noticed a red mark by her lover’s ankle, as well as a gradual swelling around it.

It turned out that Aristaeus had witnessed the accident occur, and fled straight after. There was no hope in his daydream relationship with Gigi, knowing that nobody survived the bite of a deadly viper.

…

Crystal felt like she had lost her entire world. Gigi was dead. Her wife was gone and they had barely even had the chance to celebrate their new union. Just when she thought things would be peaceful for once. Her life without Gigi seemed endless, and she lost all the passion that made her shine before.

The girl was crying onto her hardwood floor when Hermes appeared, looking disgustingly smug.

“Mr Hermes…” she sniffled, wiping her tears onto her sleeves. She couldn’t let a God see her like this.

“Shouldn’t you be working on your masterpiece?” he inquired, gesturing to the girl’s lyre that now hung on the wall meaninglessly.

“She’s gone… but where is she? I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” she sobbed, trying to refrain from punching a hole in the ground.

“She called your name before she went but I guess you weren’t listening,” he scoffed before his voice turned serious, “And what if I said she’s down below.”

“Down below?”

“Down below, you know… six feet under the ground below.”

“No-”

“-So, just how far would you go for her?”

Crystal’s eyes widened and she wiped her tears, standing up and straightening her back, “To the end of time… to the end of the earth.”

“You got a ticket?”

“A ticket to where?”

Hermes snorted and rested his hands on his hips, “Why, to the underworld of course.”

“No I- I don’t have a ticket,” she stuttered, nervous with the prospect that she could get her wife back.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. Although, there is another way, but I really ain’t supposed to say.”

“Another way?”

“Y’know, around the back - but that ain’t easy walking, mortal. It ain’t for the sensitive of souls. Are you sure you really want to go?”

Crystal felt the tears coming back on, placing a hand over her chest, “With all my heart.”

“With all your heart? Well… that’s a start. To get to the underworld, you have to take a long way down - through the underground, under cover of night. You must lay down low and keep yourself out of sight. There’s no compass, darling, nor is there a map. All there is is a railroad track. You have to keep on walking and definitely do not look back until you get to the bottomland.”

She knew what to do now. She snatched her lyre from the wall and began her journey to the underworld. The route had walls of iron and concrete, and there were hound dogs howling around the gate. If she had brought a bone of bread, they would lay down and leave her be, but all she had was her own two legs - still. she was sure glad she had them.

As she walked, she played her lyre. The air was thick and humid - hard to breathe - yet there was still a chill running through her spine. Her legs were tired, but she showed no sign of stopping. Suddenly, she was hindered by the fates.

“Who are you to think that you can walk a road alone that no one has ever walked before,” one of them hissed, but Crystal quickly silenced them, continuing to play her lyre and play her melody.

After hours upon hours of walking, she began to see people. They were working - almost like they were mining. Hermes had told her that she mustn’t give anyone her name, for, in the underworld, nobody had one. She couldn’t look anybody in the eye, or else she’d be sent back home.

That was when she saw it. She saw two thrones in front of her, one with a majestic looking man sat in it, looking extremely bored. It was Hades, God of the underworld, guarding the gates from people like Crystal. The other sat an ethereal beauty - one of which Crystal had only ever seen in paintings - Miss. Persephone.

“Hello. My name is Crystal and I demand to be given entry. My wife’s life has been undeservingly stolen from me, and she was dragged down here even though she had so much more of her life to live. She died the day of our wedding day,” the brunette knew she mustn’t cry in front of the all-powerful Hades and Persephone so, for once, she managed to hold it in. “Hades, my great God - you for one should know the feeling of loneliness that is felt when your lover is away from you. So, I beg you to listen to me. Allow me to play you my song.”

Persephone looked compassionate, and Hades looked emotionless - until Crystal began playing. She started by humming and gently plucking the three strings until she built it up and playing it loud, bringing beams of light to the cave-like room. The hurt in her voice was so prominent, even the coldest of hearts couldn’t remain untouched.

Suddenly, Hades began to weep. Persephone looked shocked, for her husband had never cried before, but she placed her hand on his back while her own heart melted at the tune. Cerberus, the enormous three-headed hound that guarded the gate to the underworld, covered his ears with his paws and howled in despair.

After long, Crystal came to a stop, and Hades wiped his tears with a small handkerchief, having to compose himself before speaking.

“Your song is very beautiful, I must say. It is nothing I have ever heard before,” he stated, his voice deep and booming, “And so, for that reason, I will give you a proposition. I promise to you that, if you retrace your steps, Gigi will follow. Though, I do warn you: If you look back to ensure she is there while you are still in the light, she will be dragged back to my underworld. Are you willing?”

“Yes,” Crystal gasped, “I’m willing to do anything for my lover… Thank you, Hades. Thank you so much. I will be so grateful to you for the rest of eternity.”

“Run along then, pretty girl,” he sounded, and she immediately complied.

As the young girl disappeared into the distance, Persephone turned to her husband.

“Do you think they’ll make it?” she asked, concern in her voice.

“I don’t know.”

“Hades, you let her go…”

The God sighed, tapping his fingers on the arm of his throne, “I let her try.”

…

Crystal was walking and she just couldn’t hear Gigi, but she knew she was there. If she listened close enough, she would be able to hear Gigi sing along to the song the brunette strummed on her lyre.

“I’m coming, wait for me… We are not alone - I hear the rocks and stones echoing our song…” the blonde cried, desperate for her wife to know she was there, and that if she kept walking without looking behind, they’d be able to spend an eternity together. “Crystal… I’m coming.”

The brunette kept playing her tune, despite the immense shiver that filled her body and the murderous gaze the fates kept on her as she walked. Doubt began to roll in, and she questioned Hades’ honesty. There was no way Gigi was near if she was so cold, because Gigi brought warmth to every place she went. She muttered affirmations to herself, but they were futile. She was filled with so much uncertainty. If the ringing of her words in her mind wasn’t so loud, she would’ve heard her wife’s words of encouragement.

“Crystal, my love. You’re shivering. Is it with cold or fear? Please… keep singing,” her voice was filled with hope, and for once she was the positive one, “Remember; the coldest night comes right before the spring.”

Crystal kept walking, her tanned fingers whitening with the frost as she continued to strum her lyre. She kept mumbling ‘where are you’ over and over, as if she were going mad. Who was she to believe that Hades wouldn’t deceive her just to make her leave alone? Where was Gigi?

The light in the distance suddenly became clear. She was so close, and the hope began to consume her again. Still, there was no sound - no branch snapping beneath her wife’s feet - but once more, she felt her presence.

Gigi began to see the light in front of her too, as her wife walked mere meters away from stepping into it. The blonde walked five meters behind.

“You are not alone,” the blonde whispered, wanting nothing more to run towards Crystal and embrace her, “I’m right behind you and I have been all along.”

Finally, after hours of walking in the darkness and the cold, Crystal stepped into the light and finally, she turned around.

There was a gasp.

“It’s you-” Crystal sniffled, her chest rising and falling at the sight of her beautiful wife. She was covered in coal from mining down below, and she looked frailer than before. Although, she was still so mind-bendingly gorgeous.

Gigi wanted to smile and embrace her wife, but there was one issue.

Because Crystal was a few steps in front, she entered the light before Gigi did, but Hades’ proposition stated that Gigi must be in the light before she could turn.

Gigi was still in the dark. She was yet to see the sun.

So, before Crystal could lunge forward and wrap her arms around the love of her life, she disappeared in front of her eyes, being dragged back to the underworld.

“GIGI-” Crystal shrieked, attempting to run back into the darkness, chasing after her wife. But, as the rules of underworld stated: No person may enter the realm of Hades twice while still alive.

Hermes guarded her entry after being sent by Zeus, informing her of the rule.

“But Mr Hermes… You’ve seen how in love we are… You know us… You- You-” she sobbed, falling to her knees and shaking.

“Rules are rules, mortal.”

…

For the rest of her life, the musician was left disoriented and heart-broken. She turned away the touch of any man and any woman, forever mourning her misfortune. It reached a point where she couldn’t bear to look at another woman without being reminded of the pain of the past.

No longer were her songs joyful - they were sorrowful and melancholy, and they brought misery to whoever heard them. The only comfort she found when she laid herself down on a large rock, reveling in the caress of the breeze.

One day, a group of women who were angered with Crystal’s ignoration for them, attacked her. Crystal had become so empty and motivationless that she put up no fight. They killed her in cold blood, before throwing her and her lyre into a great river. Her head and lyre floated downriver, towards the island of Lesvos, where a group of Muses found her and gave her the official burial she deserved.

It is said that her grave emanates quiet, beautiful music because now, her soul had descended down to the underworld, where she could spend the rest of eternity with Gigi.

#rpdr fanfiction #crygi #crystal methyd #gigi goode #lesbian au #angst #greek mythology au #orpheus and eurydice au #tw major character death #cupid #s12

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