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peachcitt · 3 years

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okay, so style reference you say? I'm 👀

YES STYLE REFERENCE I SAY

this is going to be. a very long post i think with probably a lot of tangents and probably with a lot more thorough explanation than you could ever want but. here we go

because all of my theory/explanation posts end up So Long, i like to organize myself by keeping myself to a structure, and i also like to think if i put stuff in sub categories with bolded titles, people reading can skip ahead to the stuff they want if they're low on time or don't feel like slogging through everything. so here's the structure of the official Peach Style Reference Narrative

1. Early Days - how i started writing, my early inspirations, origins

2. Current Days - discussions of current style references plus examples and comparisons, discussions of original content versus fan content

3. Future Days - where i expect my writing to grow, trajectories i want, conclusory thoughts

without further ado, let's get into it!

1. Early Days

like i mentioned on the discord server, ive been writing creatively for. a very long time. i just turned 20 (like. literally today. we love to see it) and that seems very young, but i remember writing creatively when i was maybe six or seven, and before that i played with dolls a lot, which meant every day i was creating little narratives for myself. in addition to this - and this is probably why i started writing so young - i was (and am!) a very avid reader. i was that little jerk in elementary school reading chapter books and going into the older kids' section in the school library because i'd already mentally surpassed the books in the section meant for kids my age. so, basically, ive been writing for maybe 13 or 14 years at the least.

when i was young, my favorite books that i remember trying to copy in my own stories were: the magic treehouse books, harry potter, and percy jackson.

the magic treehouse

i honestly could not tell you which magic treehouse book it was, but i remember reading a specific magic treehouse book where the magic lady that left the treehouse for the kids sends the kids (jack and annie??) a note in distress, and she didn't get to finish signing her name because whoever had gotten her had interrupted her. it had been printed in the book with the ink on her name running.

i could not tell you anything else that happened in that book, but i can tell you that at some point in time soon after i read that book i started writing a story with an interrupted letter just like that. i loved the drama, the mystery of it all. i wanted to do something that was a little scary like that, a little exciting.

harry potter

harry potter isn't much of a style reference, but it was a huge impact of my childhood. truth be told i kind of hated the books when i was really young because i grew up watching the movies, and when i tried to read the books when i was in elementary school, the teenage angst that hits about book 5 simply Did Not make sense to me. i also find the language of harry potter to be super cumbersome, and sometimes it feels to me like the books are long just for the sake of being long. they have a huge cultural impact, but i feel the same way about harry potter's style as i do about dickens. cool and interesting, but, like, could you get to the point already? (and also my opinion of j.k. rowling has steadily been growing worse and worse over the years, for obvious reasons. harry potter is nostalgic for me, but i can't look at it now without thinking about it critically, which really lowers my opinion of it)

however, you could probably call my first fanfiction a harry potter fanfiction. i started it when i was maybe six or seven, and it was a rewrite of the chamber of secrets with my childhood best friend as the main character (she didn't know about it, i just had her as the main character because i thought she was cool). i of course never finished it, but harry potter probably did a huge part of planting that seed of magic in me. everything i want to write included some form of magic - although my perspective on what can be considered magic has steadily expanded over the years.

percy jackson

of all my childhood "style references" that still influence me to this day, percy jackson has got to be the biggest. for starters, it's magic. second, it's main themes are about friendship and family - things that i like all my stories now to always include. third - and most important - is the narrative voice.

in terms of narrative voice, percy has a huge personality. he's witty and snarky, but also very thoughtful and poignant. a lot of my early writing was in first person, and it's probably because of percy. also, percy jackson was the first fandom i really got into, and it was the first media that i started officially writing and posting fanfiction for. percy's voice is so clear and hooking, and i wanted to be able to write something funny and real like that.

also - chapter titles. the original pjo series is famous for its weird and hilarious chapter titles, and even though i didn't really start writing fics or stories that were long enough to need chapter titles until a while later, i loved the idea of putting in a chapter title that would make a reader laugh, or maybe even make a reader feel a little apprehensive about the events to come.

but back to percy's narrative voice. i loved that style, almost conversational, so much that i started thinking like it. when i wasn't doing anything, like walking home in middle school, i often found myself narrating my life in my head like percy would, trying to find that humor and spark in my every day surroundings. i still find myself doing that very often, but not necessarily in the classic pjo style. now i narrate everything in my head a little differently, but that practice narration in my early days really helped my shape my voice, i think.

other series i read when i was younger include: a a series of unfortunate events and the name of this book is secret. i don't remember seeing a lot of influence in my early writing from those books, but i definitely think the styles of those books hit me a little later, which i will talk about in the next section.

but, yeah. these were the big three of my childhood. i also read a lot of ya romance, children's mystery books, princess stories, and various types of fantasy, which i think you could probably tell from the genres i like to stick to now. except i don't write a ton of mystery because, as much as i admire the complicated plots, im not sure if i'd have the patience to plan all that out.

in terms of the rest of the genres, a ton of my earlier writing included classic ya romance and fantasy tropes - chosen girl, love triangles, angsty overpowered teens, etc etc. even though those kinds of stories are not necessarily the kinds of stories i want to write or read now, i think my early writing of those kinds of things was really valuable. it's kind of a dirty secret with finished or unfinished works generally considered 'cringe' - often that writer is a new writer, or they're trying something new, or they just haven't found their voice yet. all of those things are perfectly okay and normal, and a lot of people in the writing community preach that kind of thing, but i don't necessarily see people cutting new writers slack in actual practice. writing "overrused" tropes isn't cringe, it's normal, and, besides, what trope isn't overrused? people have been writing and telling stories for thousands of years - nothing is really new. what matter is that someone new is telling the story, and that's what makes it valuable.

so, yeah, a lot of my childhood writing is cringe to me now, but i wouldn't be where i am without it.

with that being said, let's actually look at where i am now

2. Current Days

im going to break this section down into two parts, sort of: original fiction and fanfiction. because i think both of these things have become really important to me, and i don't believe i personally could exist as a writer without one or the other. it's a symbiotic relationship.

we'll start with fanfiction.

my relationship with fanfiction is relatively positive in online spaces: i write what i want to see from media that i like, and i have fun doing it. i also get some comments on my fics by lovely people that detail exactly what they like - some even go so far to talk about narrative style, voice, or tone - and that's really helpful. generally, i see fanfiction not only as a fun hobby and vent space for my strong positive feelings about certain media, but also as a place for me to try new things, experiment, and earn positive feedback.

i don't often share my original fiction online (and if i do, never at the same scope as my fanfiction), so i don't get that same opportunity to see what "works" with readers. fanfiction gives me the space to see that, and i apply new knowledge ive learned to my original fiction. that's what i mean by a symbiotic relationship.

in terms of specific style references for specific fics (which is what i know you probably most want to see), i'll try my best to pick them all out and give specific examples.

those benevolent stars and i am the messenger by markus zusak

in my favorite book list, i saw you mention tbs, so i'll start there. to be honest, i had no idea what my style reference for tbs was when i first saw your tags, and i almost didn't think there was anything specific. style references are a bit sneaky like that - if you've been referencing for someone for a long time, it becomes less of an intentional reference and more of just a you think, so it gets harder to tell.

lucky for this post, i just finished doing my yearly reread of zusak's i am the messenger, and as i was reading, i noticed a few spots where i was like wait hey i remember doing that.

for starters, iatm has been my favorite book for about six or seven years now, so i would say that some aspects of my style certainly comes from zusak because of how much i love iatm but also his other books. zusak has this huge talent for writing short, punchy sentences that convey so much in just a few words, and i think i've ended up trying to do that in my own writing. often, in my writing you'll see fragmentary sentences such as "He stopped. Blinked. Looked at her." that's not from anything specific, but i know ive written something like that maybe a million times over. zusak doesn't do the same thing - often his fragments are jam-packed with imagery in a way that mine aren't - but there's a thoughtfulness in his fragments that are in mine, too. a sort of pause. a hint that there's thinking happening in the narrator or a certain character. for example, i did a quick flip through of my copy and we have:

"We stare across the table.

Just briefly.

At each other." (I am the Messenger, p.144)

so you see how my common sentence fragment of "he stopped / blinked / looked at her" tracks with a fragment like this? i like the way zusak broke up sentences to make you dwell on them a little longer, consider the importance of each section, so i started doing that wayy before i wrote tbs i think.

also, at the time i wrote tbs, i think i was in the process of, or had just finished doing my reread of iatm, and, like i said, zusak loves imagery. tbs is a very imagery-heavy fic. tbs was influenced by a lot of music - a lot of the scenes have very specific pieces of music that i wrote imagining the tone and vibe of. iatm also references a lot of outside media sources, mostly music and films.

there are a couple of scenes in tbs that i think i wrote specifically mimicking or accidentally referencing from iatm. for example, we have this scene in tbs:

"It was almost like he could feel Marinette’s eyes on his back, steady and gentle. 'But you still love her.”

'Yeah,' Adrien said quietly, 'I still love her.' His eyes moved along a streak of purple that bled into a dark blue. 'I hate her a little bit, too.'

Marinette was silent.

He turned around, giving her a smile." (Those Benevolent Stars, chapter 3)

and this scene from iatm:

"'Do you hate me, Ed?'

Still stupid with bubbles and vodka in my stomach, I answer. Very seriously.

'Yes,' I whisper. 'I do.'

We both smack the sudden silence with laughter." (I am the Messenger, p. 233)

obviously there are differences, and i don't think i did it on purpose, but the interaction is very similar. i love the gentle intimacy of that scene in iatm, that weird complication relationship between the main character and the person he loves, the hurt, the brushing it off with laughter. so i wrote a scene that incorporated those things

zusak is also really good at writing moments of quiet into his books that aren't necessarily important to the plot, but are still important. if you've ever read that ghibli meta post talking about the 'quiet' between scenes in studio ghibli scenes, meant to give both the audience and the characters space to breath, it's like that. nothing in iatm is not imporant - it all serves a purpose, even the quiet moments, and i try to do the same thing. there's moments like that in tbs i think, like:

"Marinette gave him a small smile before turning back to her ice cream. Adrien tried to eat his ice cream a little faster, licking up where it had dripped onto his hand.

They were quiet for a while longer, and Marinette finished her ice cream. She leaned back on her hands and looked up at the dark sky, littered with stars.

He could see them all in her eyes, too." (Those Benevolent Stars, chapter 3)

and in iatm, you get scenes like:

"Our feet dangle.

I watch them, and I watch the jeans on Audrey's legs.

We only sit there now.

Audrey and me." (I am the Messenger, p.120)

so i definitely think tbs is a very i-am-the-messenger/markuz zusak-inspired fic. there's a lot of zusak's quiet, and there's the pieces of zusak's style that i've picked up along the way that really shine in tbs

tomorrow and this body's not big enough for the both of us by edgar cantero

ive talked about cantero a few times recently, but, as you've probably noticed, in relation to my fic called 'tomorrow.' i wrote tomorrow pretty soon after reading this body's not big enough for the both of us, and i used tomorrow specifically to experiment with cantero's visual writing style. in all the books by cantero ive read, there's this kind of hyper-awareness of a film gaze - how a certain scene would be shot on a camera, dialogue as script writing, and other things like that mixed with prose. i thought it was fascinating, and after finishing this body, i really wanted to play around with that idea. so i wrote tomorrow keeping in mind a "film gaze." for example:

"Two figures sitting on a rooftop, silhouettes. The moon hovers over them carefully, a crescent afraid to break the silence. One of the figures takes a breath, looks up into the sky at the hesitant moon, and he sighs. He closes his mouth again." (tomorrow)

versus in cantero's work, where we get descriptions like:

"And then, like a high-heeled coup de grace, she arrived.

She paused briefly outside the door, her hourglass silhouette cast upon the glass panel with the fresh shiny vinyl letters" (This Body's Not Big Enough for the Both of Us, prologue)

the tone of the two excerpts are very different, but there's a very visual sense to both of them, like they are being described from a shot in a movie rather than a regular work in prose. in tomorrow i also work a lot with specific camera imagery - saying where the camera goes in the scene, what it focuses on - and this body doesn't do this too much, but cantero's meddling kids does at least once that i remember.

regardless, after finishing this body, i wanted to try my hand at the visual structure that cantero uses in his works, so i really leaned in to the idea.

chat noir's white french man hit list for feminist purposes and grasshopper jungle by andrew smith

this is, as of right now, the most recent fic on my ao3, and i started it the literal day i finished grasshopper jungle. i think you might be getting a theme here - i read a really good book, and then immediately after i start writing something. the easiest way to get inspired as a writer is to read.

chat noir's hit list is a fic that is very much aware of the fact that it is a story being told - you don't know by who or for what real reason until the end, but it's a self aware sort of story. it's also very snarky and sarcastic, and it expands past just the confines of its own story; it's about chat noir and his hit list, but it also talks in depth about emilie agreste, chat noir's relationship with ladybug, and his relationship with himself. this is very much the kind of thing that you would find in an andrew smith book - grasshopper jungle is a story being told to you, and it's also about more than just the original pieces of the plot. the narrator tells the story that expands past regular confines of the story he means to tell - he's telling the 'history' of his life and his town, but he also talks about his great-great grandfather, the origins of the ketchup his girlfriend's dad eats, and what's happening in other parts of the country as he and his best friend are hanging out. the line in chat's hit list of "stars exploded, the sun did not, life continued on" was very much a grasshopper jungle and andrew smith-inspired line.

at the end of adrien's narration in chat's hit list, he says:

"It should be mentioned at this point in time that this story is not over, although I’ll stop telling it here.

So that’s the story of Chat Noir, who is also Adrien Agreste, who was very much a normal boy, except for the fact that he wasn’t. It’s a sad story, but it is also a happy story, and it is highly confidential. I’m sure you understand." (Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List for Feminist Purposes)

and at the end of grasshopper jungle, as the main character is closing out his narration, we get:

What I have written here is not the history of Eden. It is the history of the end of the world. All real histories will be about everything, and they will stretch to the end of the world.

The end of the world started when Andrej Szczerba slid into the cold sea as his boy, Krys, watched and wept and drifted closer and closer to the United States of America.

Nobody knew anything about it." (Grasshopper Jungle, p.382-3)

It's not overtly similar, but the structure is the same: recognition of the end, short summary of where we started and left the story, tag phrase that was used prior in the work. when i was writing the end of adrien's narration, i didn't mean to mirror grasshopper jungle so closely, but sometimes things just happen that way - honestly, so many of the things i do in my writing aren't intentional, they're subconscious. when i make a conscious choice, it's related to plot or to a new strategy im applying to style or voice that i'm not used to, but a lot of the things i do fly under the radar in my brain unless im purposefully trying to piece them apart like i am here.

i will say the meta-story of chat's hit list was pretty directly inspired by grasshopper jungle because i love meta stories, and i like using opportunities to put them in. i just love the idea of reading a story of someone telling someone else a story, which is what the two books by andrew smith i've read have been, and i think that's just fascinating, which is why i used it here.

ive gotten a couple of comments on chat's hit list that liken the narrative style to pseudonymous bosch's the name of this book is secret and lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events, which i thought was really interesting, because i was purposefully trying to make the voice an impression of andrew smith's voice adapted to the tone of ml, but i could definitely see their reasoning.

andrew smith, like i mentioned before, likes specifics - what exactly people were doing at certain times, where a specific bottle of ketchup came from, etc. from what i remember of the name of this book is secret and a series of unfortunate events, i remember the descriptions included in those books chock full of highly specific, snarky details that aren't truly necessary, but do a whole lot in terms of adding a certain flavor to the narration. i won't try and look up examples from unfortunate events and the name of this book, but here are a couple examples:

"See, the thing about Emilie Agreste, formerly Emilie Graham De Vanily, is that she was what could be generously called a ‘radical.’ Born in 1969, like most amazing and world-altering things, Emilie Graham De Vanily grew up in London alongside her twin sister, who is a nice enough woman and who is not really that important to this story, and she was raised with the firm and gentle hands of people who had witnessed war and cruelty and had found that they did not like at all. Emilie Graham De Vanily grew up learning about the true history of England, which is not a very nice history, truly, and she grew up knowing that people with white skin like her were historically not all that great. That, historically, was a very radical thought." (Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List for Feminist Purposes)

from chat's hit list, and this:

"In 1905, being seventeen years old made you a man. In 1969 when hungry Jack fought in Vietnam, seventeen years old was a man. My brother, Eric, who was somewhere in Afghanistan, was twenty-two.

Krzys Szczerba came across the Atlantic with his father. They planned on working and earning enough money so Krzys's mother, brother, and two sisters could come to the United States, too. People who did that were called Bread Polacks. They came here to make money." (Grasshopper Jungle, p. 68)

from grasshopper jungle. once again, obviously very different, but you can tell im playing around with that same feeling of giving a surplus of facts in my narration in the same way that andrew smith does. you can't really tell in the grasshopper jungle excerpt, but oftentimes the surplus of 'facts' serves almost a comedic effect, which is definitely something that you can feel in chat noir's hit list.

[REDACTED] and six of crows by leigh bardugo

as a reward for sticking around through this, i'll give out something fun here. the current long fic that ive been working on recently has proved to be very bardugo-inspired, particularly six of crows-inspired.

in six of crows, bardugo gives us action right off the bat and then integrates flashbacks into lulls of action so that there's never truly a dull moment. i found [REDACTED] to be a fic where i wanted to use flashbacks in a similar way, so that i would get something like:

"She doesn’t stay for the whole parade, but she stays for enough of it. Nothing unusual happens, just like always, but she still makes cursory patrols around the city, ending up at the Eiffel Tower, just like always. She sits on the railing way up at the top, and she crosses her ankles, swinging her legs back and forth and humming softly to herself as she watches the sun set.

'Little kitty on the roof, all alone without his lady,' he used to sing when he’d gotten back to their meeting point from patrolling his half of the city before her. It was just a silly little song, one that he’d clearly made up for himself."

It didn’t hurt until he’d been akumatized, and she’d seen that one version of the future - the one where he’d destroyed the whole world because of Gabriel Agreste. She’d seen him then, a lonely figure in white, humming his little song to himself. Who knows how long he’d been like that before she’d been transported to him, how long he’d been really and truly alone. (REDACTED, chapter 1)

and in comparison, we get a lot of scenes in six of crows like:

"Kaz leaned against the ship's railing. He wished he hadn't said anything about his brother. Even those few words raised the memories, clamoring for attention. What had he said to Geels at the Exchange? I'm the kind of bastard they only manufacture in the Barrel. One more lie, one more piece of the myth he'd built for himself.

After their father died, crushed beneath a plow with his insides strewn across a field like a trail of damp red blossoms, Jordie had sold the farm. Not for much." (Six of Crows, p.205-6)

bardugo uses most of the flashbacks during a time in which the main characters are on a long sea voyage, which means they have a lot of time to reflect on their pasts and what brought them to these situations - it's a smart way to fill the empty space of the sea voyage and to really dwell on how important the voyage is. in a similar way, i chose to use the flashbacks in dull or lulling moments in the events of the story, ones in which marinette lets her mind wander or sees something that makes her remember something specific.

however, here's a situation where you can see me adapt the style into something that makes more sense for me, personally: in my excerpt, the tense changes between the current events and the flashback events, while in bardugo's excerpt, the tense stays the same at a comfortable past tense. when i was writing my fic with the flashbacks, i thought the constant, sometimes abrupt, switching would get confusing, so i made sure to always have a clear line using the past and present tense that readers could consciously or unconsciously take notice of.

so there are a couple of instances within some fairly recent fics i have that have specific callbacks to specific books. there are a whole bunch more, i think, but these are the ones that ive played around with intentionally the most recently or the most often.

3. Future Days

based on my recent rapid experimentation in fics (the most recent four fics on my ao3 have been very experimental in comparison to most of my works), i really anticipate a lot of growth in my overall style. ive been having a lot of fun experimenting and throwing in things that a few years ago i would've never even thought of, so im really excited to see where that might lead me, style wise.

i think as a writer there's always room for growth and learning, and that kind of growth and learning comes from not only practicing writing, but also reading. i cannot stress enough how valuable and impactful reading is on writing. considering ive been trying to read a lot more than i have been in recent years, it makes a lot of sense that ive been making a lot of weird decisions and learning more about what i want to see in my own writing.

honestly, if you ever want to know about any of my other fics, or you want to see how this kind of thing translates to my original works, just shoot me an ask! this post is already long enough, so i think i'll go ahead and end it here, but just know you can always ask questions<3

thank you so much for asking me this question and letting me indulge, and thank you for reading!!!<3<3<3<3

#ask #miabrown007 #writing #writing meta #writing style #writing style reference #my writing meta #this took. actually i will not say how long this took because i do not want to hurt myself that way #just know that this took a while. did it need to? fucking no absolutely not you didn't ask for something this long i did this to myself #this is why i didn't answer this for a couple days btw i wanted to take time to actually sit down and write down a thorough post like this #for you and i didn't have the time when you first sent it #technically i should not have had the time today but that sort of thing doesn't count in the middle of the night #happy birthday to me im giving myself a super long meta post where i info dump about some of my favorite things #also you did not. you did not ask for writing or life advice and yet i also gave that. im sorry it just happens i don't know how to stop #im so tired. i have class tomorrow (today) my cat's being a little piece of shit. we love to see it #thanks so much for asking this and i seriously mean it when i say you can ask any time #i obviously didn't go over the majority of my fics and most of this was done off of memory alone #(in terms of my own fics. the books i had to flip through to find the quotes i wanted)#so if you have any more questions about a specific fic don't hesitate to ask!! that goes for everyone btw #anyway now i have to pay attention to my cat and then go to sleep goodnight love y'all

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adultprivilege · 5 years

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I've ranted about this so many times on main that I need to say it here:

The idolization of classical music is not just racist and sexist, it is blatantly ageist

Coming from a huge music nerd this is important for me to say: BEEHTOVEN IS BAD AND MOZART IS WORSE. I dont even know if other pianists are aware of the way we've been brainwashed by Europeans but Beehtoven and Mozart were mediocre at best for average musicians, and for musicians who stood the test of time, they are TERRIBLE.

These two musicians, and most pre-1900s classical musicians in general, are only so famous because they are meant to symbolize the pinnacle of white society and the achievements of whiteness. I like Monet, I like Tchaikovsky, but if that's the best we can do then white people should not do music.

Wanna see a dumb person say dumb shit?

Who is some people? Tell me right now who do you think some people are?

I love this tweet because it so perfectly encapsulates everything that older white people believe. So many people (mostly white and old, #yupisaidit omg I'm so unique) talk about rap being the cause of gang violence, black on black crime, younger people having lots of sex and doing drugs. Imagine believing that the music young people listen to and black people create (and I can get into the exchange of black culture and youth culture at a later date) is an epidemic.

It's funny because that happened all throughout the 19th century.

(Above: "flappers" aka rebellious young women who liked to party and listen to jazz -im not kidding that's literally what a flapper was - of the early 1900s dancing in what were considered short and scantily clad dresses for the time, then another picture of flappers posing for a picture with their boyfriends)

In the early 20th century teenage girls and women in their 20s became so famously known for having more sex, drinking alcohol, being unashamed to dress in shorter skirts, that the term designated to them by older white men - flapper - is now considered a historical term. And you've DEFINITELY seen old films depicting black jazz musicians as illiterate speaking in slang always cheerful with a bunch of other gross stereotypes given to them. No one liked jazz and no one like ragtimes.

(Above: Chuck Berry onstage, Little Richard in a cover photo -both black- and a bunch of white teenagers in the 60s posing on jeeps and pontiacs trying to look punk and cool)

I feel like it should be known by now, Elvis is not the king of rock, most white rock musicians were highkey appropriative and when young black popular music switched to blues white rock musicians tried to follow suit inconspicuously for profit. I'm mostly basing my info of rock and blues on Peter Guralnick's Feel Like Going Home, which isnt the most progressive book you could buy but if you're looking for a comprehensive musical history of the 1950s onward focusing on how young white people rebelled against their parents by participating in black culture, you should definitely read it. Guralnick described how as a young white kid he and his friends would listen to rock all the time, and try to dress in fancy outfits and pose the way Elvis posed, sort of trying to look and behave the way they imagined black people look and behave (again its not the most progressive if could be). Adults constantly judged youth for listening to rock, and all the new kinds of music that came with it that were created out of black culture.

"The first time I heard Little Richard's 'Tutti Frutti' was on the car radio on the way to school.

A-wop bop a lu bop a lop bam boom

Tutti frutti, oh rooty

It burst out at us. Our first reaction, I think, was one of chagrin. Somebody's father was driving, and he expressed our discomfort before we could ourselves. 'What command of the english language,'he said and switched stations. We all laughed self-consciously because it was, after all, our fault."

(Above: Mamie Smith on an album surrounded by black men on trumpets and various brass instruments. A party full of black teenagers listening to rhythm and blues.)

Rhythm and blues was another form of music pioneered by black people and exchanged with youth culture, and put down as a way to dismiss both identities. Again, from Feel Like Going Home:

"Country blues, which was at first considered too disreputable to record, remains to this day too funky in a pejorative sense to merit serious attention."

"These blues were common property long before they were set down on paper, however, and if the recording of the classic blues singers stimulated a new period of growth for country blues, WC Handy himself admitted, 'Each one of my blues is based on some old N**** song of the South, some old song that is part of the memories of my childhood and my race. I can tell you the exact song I used as the basis for any one of my blues.'

Instrumental jazz started out as the articulation of that same feeling, an ingenious approximation of the human voice."

And eventually the music was used by youth as a way to rebel.

"We thought of blues, when we first took it up, as protest music."

Which brings us to hip hop, rap, trap, and the like.

(Above: Duckwrth in his music video for Soprano, Angel Haze with a group of their fans mostly white and everyone in the photo looking pretty blatantly queer)

Obviously right now you are aware of the fact that black people pioneered these three genres, and obviously you are aware that they appeal to a much younger age, because you're living in this time period.

It doesn't matter what the music is. How many times have we seen the narrative that a teacher makes the young black student more interested in school because poetry is just another way to rap? White adults struggle so much to comprehend the evolution of music and its pioneers being black youth that they literally think they're teaching someone when they say that maybe instead of participating in black culture you could do something that is similar but a lot more white and I'll consider you more intelligent just from that. It's an attempt to destroy black/youth culture.

Which brings me back to that goddamn tweet I love so much. Yes, Shapiro is technically a millennial, but hes this type of millennial I hate, the one that thinks they have to compensate by saying "I was born in the wrong generation" "I have an old soul" "antiques are some of the finer things in life". They love the aesthetic of not having computers or phones or really any new technology, they want to live in a creaking house and use a typewriter and die of polio. Ageism is so strongly connected to racism because if you've internalized some ideas of white supremacy, as Shapiro ABSOLUTELY has, you develop a need to connect with white eurocentric society, and as the world becomes more integrated that becomes harder and harder to do until you develop some nostalgia for the 90s, for the 50s, for years that you weren't even alive to be nostalgic for. So these people decide to listen to classical music as a way of saying "I'm not like anybody else in my generation."

And I'm not just going to blame youth because obviously it's mostly the oldest generations saying that music taste is a sign of intelligence and that music contributes to teen pregnancies and drug use and criminal activity. This has been said about so many forms of music because the number one priority for people who have a goal of maintaining ageism is to prevent culture from evolving. Or more specifically, allow culture to evolve, but only to the point where hairstyles and clothes and tech and music tastes can be weaponized to separate and criticize younger people and maintain superiority. Older people have a vested interest in making the many parts of your culture, especially the parts of youth culture that are also black culture, seem crude and inappropriate and reflective of your moral character.

It doesnt matter if you don't listen to rap. You still have to tell people you're not like your generation, avoid using slang like lit and yeet, put on a tie every day, work 60 hours a week and not live in poverty, and talk shit about your own generation just to escape one of the caricatures of youth. And at that point you just enter another caricature that is the "born in the wrong generation" stereotype. Once older people know you're seeking their approval, they (possibly subconsciously, but this is also a very conscious tactic used by pedophiles) compliment you by saying you are very professional, you have an old soul, that you are mature for your age. They make you easily manipulable. So it's a bit terrifying to even try to gain that accreptance.

There are so many people nowadays just like Ben Shapiro who are listening to classical music that was made in 18th century Europe or previous. There are so many music history classes in schools that only teach about Bach, Beehtoven, Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Debussy, all that. If you are going to listen to classical pieces, stop rehashing the old shit. You shouldnt be listening to music out of a desire for cultural "purity" and a feeling of superiority.

If you need to listen to classical music, listen to these:

youtube

If you think music can have an "authentic" sound to it, listen to these:

youtube

TDLR: the ideation of classical music has been used for more than a century to dismiss black/youth culture, to separate our generations and use our cultural contributions as a way to demonize black people and younger generations, and to manipulate youth into a desperation to appeal to older generations.

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goldandbluesmiles · 4 years

Text

Future Me

Summary: Batman gets hit by magic and now Bruce Wayne is twenty-something with memories to match.

Link to ao3

xxx

Hal flew as fast as he could toward Gotham.

"There was a magical attack on Batman. We could use you here,"

That was all Oracle had told him.

And now he was flying at top speed toward his boyfriend.

Once he got to the Batcave, he was instantly let in, the other Bats probably expecting his presence.

He was expecting a lot of things once he got to the med bay. From screaming and crying to plants sprouting out of his skin.

What he wasn't expecting was an unconscious Bruce.

A very young-looking unconscious Bruce.

"Uh, what?" he asked

All the other occupants of the room, Hal was too frazzled to count exactly how many members of the bat-clan were present, turned their heads toward him.

"We were fighting a new magical opponent when Bruce got hit by a blast," said Dick, "We've already sent the guy off to Zatanna. Now we're just waiting for him to wake up,"

"There are two options here. Either B got de-aged or our B and this guy have swapped places,"

"Uh-okay," said Hal stepping closer to the bed, "Not that I'm not grateful for the call but why did you guys call me here? Don't you guys handle these things among yourselves?"

Tim shrugged, "The more heads the better. And we don't know what his memory is like so we decided to call you,"

"And trust," murmured Cass, "Trust you. Family,"

And no, it was not the time to get chocked up over the fact that his boyfriend's favourite child just called him family.

"Okay," he said, "Okay. Cool. Um, if you're taking suggestions, we should probably move him upstairs though. If we don't know exactly how much of his life he'll remember. Don't want him to freak out on us,"

"That is a good idea, Mister Jordan," said Alfred from behind them, "Master Jason and Master Dick, why don't you move Master Bruce to the main sitting room,"

And wow when did he get in here. Good Lord, this whole family needed bells around their necks.

The two oldest boys gently picked up their father between them and moved toward the elevator, the rest of the family behind them, those who couldn't fit in the elevator heading up the stairs.

Once they got to the room, they deposited Bruce on the couch, taking up various positions around the room.

"So, what do we-" started Duke and was interrupted by a loud ring.

Barbara pressed her finger to her earpiece, "I'm here Z. What's the report?"

The girl nodded a few times as the family waited with baited breathe.

"Okay. Thanks, Z," said Barbara, clinking her piece off.

"So," she said turning to them, "Turns out the guy was just an amateur that got possessed by one of his grandmother's caged demons?"

"What now?" said Jason

"Yeah. They're looking into it," said Barbara, "The staff that was used just de-aged him. It's supposed to be used to jog memories and experiences and should wear off on its own,"

"Do we know what his memories will be like?" asks Stephanie

Barbara shook her head, "Just the result of the action, not exactly the how,"

"Well," said Alfred, "With that bit of mystery solved. We should just wait for him to wake up. I will prepare tea and snacks in the meantime. Master Damian, would you like to come and help me?"

It was phrased like a question but Hal had known the older man long enough to know that it wasn't. Not that Damian seemed to be any mood to fight Alfred on it. On the contrary, he seemed to be relieved to have the excuse to leave the room, almost like he didn't want to...

It suddenly occurred to him how scary this probably was for the young boy. The rest of the occupants of the room either remembered a much younger Bruce and all of them were practically adults. Damian was still a child and had only just started getting comfortable around his father. And as much as Damian liked to act tough, he was still just a little boy, and little boys worshipped their fathers.

A soft groan pulled his attention away to the figure on the couch.

Bruce was waking up.

xxx

Bruce opened his eyes, fighting against his headache.

Had he gotten drunk again? He hoped not. He hadn't gotten blackout drunk since he was fifteen.

"Bruce?" There were someone's hands on his shoulders, helping him sit up.

"Alfie?"

But no. The hands were too light, too small to be Alfred's.

"No, it's Dick, Bruce?"

Now that made him open his eyes.

"What now?"

And then Bruce's eyes widened. Because he was surrounded by about a dozen people, all looking at him with varying degrees of concern.

"Um, who are you, people?"

A series of emotions went around the room.

"You don't remember us, B," said a teenage girl with blonde hair, a wary look on her face.

"We're your kids, B,"

His eyes widened. What?

"Well not all of us obviously but yeah, most of us were raised by you and-"

"Shut up Tim," muttered a young man with a tuft of white hair, "You're just confusing him more,"

"Right," Tim murmured, "Sorry,"

He should be freaked out, shouldn't he? There were strangers surrounding him and his memory was very very foggy. Yet, he felt a sort of familiarity and ease surrounded by these people.

"Maybe someone could explain from the start?" He asked

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," said a very familiar voice.

Bruce turned in relief and then stopped.

"Alfred, why do you look so old?"

Alfred smiled, "It's a long story, Master Bruce. Why don't you have some tea, while you listen,"

Bruce nodded and leaned back as ordered.

xxx

Bruce was staring at them with wide eyes.

"Okay, so most of you are...my children? How many do I have again,"

"Biologically, one. Legally, six. Emotionally, three more," said Barbara, "And no I'm not one of them. I'm like a little sister. So is this one,"

Kate lifted her hand and gave a little wave

Hal watched as Bruce's eyes flitted between both women and then stopped at Kate.

"Kate Kane?"

"Yup,"

"Huh," said Bruce, "So what? We...like each other now,"

Kate laughed, "Something like that,"

"Hmm. And you?" he said turning to Barbara

"Oh come on, Bruce," she said wit ha grin, "Are you saying you don't recognize your favourite redhead,"

"My favourite- wait! Barbara!"

"Hey, Bruce," she said softly

"Oh my god," he said, emotion shining in his eyes. He reached out, almost involuntarily, and Barbare came forward and quickly took his hand in his.

"Oh my god," he repeated, eyes still wide, "You're supposed to be a seven years old little girl,"

Barbara laughed, "No, B. You're supposed to be a forty years old man,"

"Wow. Okay. Wow. And you?" he said turning to Helena

"Helena Bertinelli," she sais, extending her hand. Bruce took it and gave it a shake.

"We're friends," she told him, "It's a long story,"

Broce nods in ascent, "And the rest of you are my children?"

Without waiting for an answer, he turns toward Hal and he feels him himself straighten under the penetrating gaze.

"Not you though?" said Bruce, "You look a little too old for that,"

Hal tries to think of a suitable answer but the decision is taken away when Jason smirks and opens his mouth.

"That's your boyfriend," said Jason, light smirk on his face, "But, honestly, we're all just waiting for the rings,"

"Huh," sais Bruce, seemingly unfazed. Then he dragged his gaze up and down Hal's body.

"At least future me has good taste,"

That one earned him a groan from his kids and, Hal would never admit it, made him feel a little giddy.

Bruce then turned his head toward the rest of them.

"And what are your names again?" he said, gesturing his gaggle of children

"Richard. I was the first but you adopted me when I was an adult,"

"Jason. Jay. I came after Dickiebird,"

"I'm Tim,"

"Cass,"

"Damian,"

"I'm Duke. I'm the most recent one,"

"I'm Stephanie. I'm not really your kid but you're pretty emotionally attached,"

"I'm Cullen,"

"I'm Harper. Cullen and I are biological siblings. We met a while back. You help us out and basically 'dad' us a lot,"

It took everything in Hal to not laugh at Bruce's widening eyes. He got the feeling that up until now it hadn't really hit Bruce exactly how many kids he had as an adult.

Bruce turned toward and Alfred, "Alfie? Do I have a problem? An orphan problem? Is future me sane?"

At that Hal did laugh. It sounded so much like what the league and his own kids said about Bruce.

"Why do I feel like I said something funny?" said Bruce, looking at their amused faces.

He then turned toward Damian, "And I'm guessing you're the biological kid Barbara mentioned?"

"Oooh," said Stephanie, "What gave it away? Was it the scowl?"

"Or the whole angry kid face?"

"Probably the scowl,"

But Bruce was still staring at Damian.

"You have my mother's eyes,"

You could have heard a pin drop with the silence that filled the room. Hal swallowed, thinking of the few times Bruce had mentioned the similarities between two of the most important people in his life.

In the end, it was Bruce that broke the silence again, "And you have Talia al Ghul's everything else. Guess we know what happened with that,"

Someone snorted and a few chuckles went around the room. Slowly and quietly Hal sipped out of the room, leaving the bat-clan to talk amongst themselves.

xxx

Hal was sitting on one of the many balcony's of the Wayne Manor when he heard the door open behind him.

"Hal, right? Why did you leave?"

He turned around and found BRuce standing at the door.

"Habit," he said smiling, "It's basically an unofficial rule that when you're having a moment with you kids, I leave you alone to do it,"

"But you're family too aren't you? That's what they made it sound,"

Hal smiled and hoped that the emotion welling in his chest and clogging his throat didn't show in his face.

"Yes, well certain things are between you and them,"

"Oh,"

There was a moment of silence and then Hal gestured to one of the chairs beside him.

"Come sit,"

Bruce came and sat, giving him an assessing look. Hal was just about to ask when Brue beat him to it.

"How did we get together?"

"Wow. Huh," said Hal, "Uh. That's an interesting story,"

"I want to hear it,"

"Well," Hal began, "We met through work and you and I didn't like each other much. There were more than a few years of just arguing and fighting. But then we were on an assignment together and we got stuck in a cramped place,"

The cramped place had been a cave on a different planet but he figured it didn't need to be mentioned.

"Please tell me we didn't have the cliche sex," said Bruce

Hal laughed "No. We didn't. We did start to talk a lot though. It's surprising how deep a conversation can go when you don't have anywhere to storm off to. Anyway, after knowing that much about each other we couldn't exactly stay mad. Especially since we knew why the other did certain things. One thing leads to another, you took me on a date, I took you on a date. We kissed and now here we are,"

It had been much more complicated than that but that wasn't something he wanted to explain to the twenty-something version of his boyfriend.

"Another question," said Bruce, "Damian seems to be acting a little odd around me. Is that normal for him?"

Hal pursed his lips as he thought about how to answer that.

"I think he's just a bit thrown off by you," he told Bruce, "Most of them have known you long enough to remember a much younger you and are adults that aren't too affected, Damian is young and had a...different life before coming here. While the others are having fun learning about the younger version of the man they love, he just sees a stranger and Damian doesn't do good with trust in the first place. This is just throwing him for a loop,"

"Ah"

There ware a few moments of silence until Bruce spoke again.

"Do you mind if I just sit here with you for a little while longer?"

Hal was confused as to why he wouldn't want to go in with the others but one look at this hopeful face and he bit his tongue and nodded his head.

"Of course,"

xxx

Bruce felt himself stir awake. The first thing he noticed was the headache, the other thing he noticed was that he had fallen asleep in a chair outside. A quick look around indicated that he wasn't the only one. Hal was in the chair next to him, also asleep. Someone had covered them both with blankets.

How had he gotten here? The last thing he remembered was...

And then memories started coming in snippets. Getting blasted. Being young. Not remembering anything.

The memories seemed close yet also far away.

He should probably talk to Damian though.

"Oh? You look normal again,"

Bruce turned to his right to see Hal sitting up and giving him an assessing look.

On impulse, Bruce leaned over, took Hal's face in his hands and gave him a long kiss. Hal responded with a smile on his lips.

"Huh," he said with a grin, "You are back,"

Bruce laughed and tugged him until they were standing.

"Let's go inside,"

Dick was the first one to see them and nearly knocked Bruce over with his hug. Next were Cass and Steph. One by one they all greeted him but Bruce couldn't help but notice that Damian hung back.

Once everyone had settled down, he walked his youngest to his study.

"Come here," said Bruce, "I want to talk to you,"

Damian follows him silently. When they get to the study, Bruce sits down on the couch and holds an arm out for the young boy. It's telling when Damian doesn't even hesitate to put himself under his father's arm and snuggle into his side.

"Are you alright?"

"Of course," said Damian

"Damian,"

His son sighs, "It was just odd, seeing you like that. It was like you were gone and I guess- I guess it made me a bit uncomfortable,"

"I see,"

"I'm sorry,"

Bruce quickly pulled the young boy into his lap, tucking him close to his chest.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said kissing his hair, "It's okay to feel uncomfortable,"

"Nobody else was,"

"All people react differently Damian. Nothing wrong with that. Okay?"

Damian pursed his lips but nodded.

"Okay,"

"Ready to join the others again?"

Damian nodded and slid out of his lap to stand up. Bruce smiled and lead him out with a hand on his shoulder.

The sitting room was filled with conversation and laughter and Damian instantly settled himself between Dick and Cass.

Bruce, though, took a little longer to watch them, making his chest fill with joy.

God, he really loved his family.

#batlantern #batlanternweek2020 #hal jordon #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily

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pcndemoniums · 4 years

Photo

Skins inspired series: Our Youth (1999 - 2002) / Our Wasted Youth (2020)

This is a loooong request so bare with me. Be aware that these guys have known each other since the age of 16. They’ve had their ups and downs through the years but in the end they have managed to stay friends.

[ tw: mentions of underage drinking, sex, mental illness, eating disorder, substance abuse, suicide, overdose, bullying and death ]

The Shows

Our Youth was an American teen comedy-drama television series that followed the lives of a group of teenagers in the fictional small town of Madison, California. Its controversial story-lines explored issues like dysfunctional families, mental illness (such as depression, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder and bipolar disorder), adolescent sexuality, gender, substance abuse, autism spectrum disorder, death, and bullying. In a time where most TV shows about teenagers were unrealistic affairs propped up by a cast of actors at least 10 years older than their fictional age, Our Youth changed all that by depicting realistic portrayals of teen characters who slept with each other, went to parties, drank a lot, smoked weed, and talked like the kids they were. Much of the controversy around its early episodes criticized its portrayal of sex, bad language, and explicit drug use but it was always careful to temper the hedonism with consequences, the comedy with tragedy. The show premiered on 25 January 1999 and went on to be a critical success. However, real life drama became too much for show runners to handle and the show was cancelled after three seasons. It ended on a shocking cliffhanger that left most viewers outraged and heart broken.

After the show ended the cast went their separate ways, trying different things to maintain their success but the bad reputation that came from the show seemed to follow them around. Some of them went on to star in low budget films and others completely fell off the radar. For years there have been talks and rumors about a possible fourth season of the series but it was not until early this year that it was announced that the show was going to be getting a second life. Netflix acquired the rights to the show in 2018 and finally announced that they were starting production at the end of 2020 with the original cast in tow. The fourth season of Our Youth has been renamed Our Wasted Youth and will take place 20 years after the events of the third season finale and will chronicle how the teens, now adults, are dealing with the ghosts of their past.

Behind The Scenes

So this show was a big deal back in the day. As far as aesthetics go then think of the show Skins, the UK version. It was mostly based on a group of kids who lived in the same neighborhood, went to the same high school and were involved in a lot of shenanigans. They partied a lot, got in trouble, sometimes they learned a lesson or two - most times they didn’t. Some critics loved it because of its realism, but others found it too controversial for television. It did not help that the cast, all between the ages of 14 and 16 at the time, were pretty much left unattended to do whatever they wanted and they didn’t choose to sit and study. There was a lot of bad behavior behind the scenes, scandals, fights, drama, etc. Life imitating fiction if you will. To the point where the show was cancelled after three seasons. They decided to end the show in dramatic fashion with the hits involved in a horrible car accident. The last shot of the show was that of the car wreck and the fate of the teens was left to the imagination. Yeah, people were pissed, demanding a resolution. Honestly at this point there was so much hostility that the actors were just glad that it all ended. I mean these guys were all hormonal teenagers, getting fame and money, so you can imagine what went on behind the scenes.

The show still had a huge fan base, even if the actors were not particularly famous anymore. They all had a hard time getting decent work because they had this very bad reputation of being disruptive. In 2010, Kurt Davidson, who portrayed Gus Chandler, was found dead in his home from apparent drug overdose. The actor had been fighting a long battle with addiction and it was during this time that the actors got together and had a little reunion with fans. They resolved their issues and started to become really good friends. There was a media outcry surrounding Kurt’s death though and an article was published on various news sources about the dangers of exposing actors to the drug culture at such a young age. Any hope that the show would come back was lost after the death of Kurt Davidson. But then in 2018 it was confirmed that the show was coming back to Netflix and was scheduled to start shooting in 2019. However, things got a little sidetracked and people started to think that the show was already doomed even before they started shooting. Thankfully things started to brighten up and the show started shooting in January of 2020. This new season will deal with the repercussions of the accident and how the characters are dealing with adulthood. It will have 10 episodes and they are currently shooting episode seven. Because of the tight schedule, these guys have been spending a lot of time together and who knows, maybe there’s the chance for a lot of new drama.

Now because I’m crazy, here are the characters of the show and their little arcs, just so you can get an idea of who you’d like your character to play.

Main Cast

Lukas Larsen ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Lukas Larsen is an attractive, intelligent and popular boy. His manipulative ways often go unnoticed by many, and are a catalyst for the majority of the events in the series. At first he appears to have complete control over his friends, exudes confidence and has an answer for everything. He enjoys being the driver of drama and prides himself on being some type of puppet master. In the effort to keep his life perfect and interesting he does things that even the most self serving person would never do. He plays with people’s emotions. He plays games because he can. Furthermore he does not feel bad about those things until he loses control. As the series progresses we see Lukas lose control of himself, his friends and of the situation due to a distorted sense of self and an exaggerated sense of importance. We end the series with Lukas behind the wheel of the car and driving everyone into a ditch. NEW SERIES: In the new season Lukas is a lawyer, married and with kids. However, he is incredibly unhappy, cheating on his wife with Evie Nixon and getting involved in scams. We learn that the accident left him in a coma for seven months and that he had to relearn to do everything. Even though it looks like he has not learned anything on the surface we see that Lukas is carrying a lot of guilt for what happened and is seeing a therapist in order to cope.

Evie Nixon ( 34 yo - tbd - Kat Graham ): Evie is the youngest of the group as she skipped 9th grade. She is initially described as being "the sweetest girl you will ever meet". However, it is shown that underneath her sweet exterior, she will resort to anything in order to keep the power in her grasps, even at the expense of others. She starts the series off dating the head jock boy of Madison High. However it’s quickly revealed that she’s dating him more for status than for romance. When we meet the couple, they’ve yet to have sex and t is revealed that Evie is actually a virgin and is scared to ‘give it away. She faces a lot of criticism throughout the series, having to deal with her parents divorcing, an abusive older boyfriend and an addiction to antidepressants. However, she eventually learns that her manipulative ways are damaging to others and by the end of the series she becomes a much better person. NEW SERIES: The accident changed Evie. She became angry and distant. Evie is divorced and has a seven year old boy. She has two jobs and no apparent social life which makes her a little bitter. She is having an affair with Lukas Larsen but hates every second of it.

Gus Chandler ( 35 yo - Kurt Davidson - NPC ): Gus is Luka's best friend, but has an entirely opposite personality. He lacks confidence, is socially uneasy and struggles with school work. He often suffers from panic attacks that he learns to control over the course of the series. He tends to put himself down a lot, especially when it comes to his relationship with girls. He loves comic books, loves science, is very friendly and playful and treats everyone with respect. Gus learns to be more self confident and to stand up for himself which earns a lot of respect from his friends. By the end of the series Gus is engaged to Nancy Buckley. NEW SERIES: We learn that Gus died in the car accident. Some people believe the decision to kill off his character is a bit polemical since the actor died in real life. However, the series creators have stated that having another actor play the part of Gus felt wrong and that they needed the accident to have a serious consequence. “Kurt Davidson is still a huge part of the show and his character’s death is the driving force of the new season.” In some way that is true since a lot of the show revolves around the 20th anniversary of Gus’ death.

Nancy Buckley ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Luka's girlfriend. A girl who can never stay angry at his mischievous behavior for long. Outwardly, Nancy appears shallow, vain and conceited but she works hard and is emotionally mature. She is seen by most as a beautiful and confident girl but she suffers from the same insecurities as everyone else. At the beginning of the series she is dating Lukas and is always trying to make him happy. Eventually she realizes that the relationship is really toxic and distances herself from him. She and Gus start to get closer which causes a lot of complications and arguments between him and Lukas. By the end of the series Nancy learns to value herself more and she and Gus form a beautiful and healthy relationship. NEW SERIES: Nancy suffered a lot after the accident and the death of her fiance and that includes reconstructive surgery on her face which has made her feel really self conscious. She hasn't been able to keep a serious relationship and is emotionally closed off. Currently she works in real estate and seems to be leading a successful life. She has decided to be a surrogate for Ivy and her wife's baby.

Ben Morrow ( 36 yo - Dean Montgomery - Paul Wesley ): Ben is the party animal of the group. He has a difficult home life; he lost his brother to illness at a young age, and is an emancipated minor due to his ambivalent father and absent mother. When we first meet Ben he is presented as a fun loving pill popper who is always encouraging his friends to have fun. As the series progresses we learn that this attitude is just a front and that Ben’s life is actually filled with pain and rejection from his parents. His father is a crook and his mother has done porn her entire life, which has been a constant embarrassment for Ben. Ben is very volatile and unpredictable and unlike Lukas he very easily loses control of the situation. It is hinted that he is bisexual but it was never fully confirmed. By the end of the series they are rushing him to the hospital as he is overdosing inside the car. When we see the car crash we are left to assume that he definitely died. NEW SERIES: Shockingly Ben survived the accident but it left him with a lot of emotional scars. Unable to find a job he has turned into a life of crime that includes petty theft and drug dealing. The first time we see him again he is getting out of prison after spending six months behind bars for robbing a liquor store. We learn that Lukas helped put him away and that Teddy posted his bail. He also has a lover named Sean who also provides him drugs.

Cara James ( 35 yo - character name - open face claim ): A friend of Emily, an odd girl who suffers from an eating disorder. Cara attempts to hide her own struggles with mental health while her flamboyant parents ignore her in favor of their new baby. We first meet her as she returns to Madison High after spending months in a rehabilitation center. Cara is very observant, aloof and incredibly understanding. To her everything is magical. Her positive attitude gives the show a sense of hope when things get really bad. She and Ben Morrow have a very close relationship that was a constant will they/won't they throughout the series. By the end of the series she manages to overcome her disorder, and makes plans to leave Madison and travel to Europe. NEW SERIES: Cara made it to Europe after surviving the accident and became a famous model which caused her eating disorder to resurface. After a few scandals and the fact that she is not as young as she used to be, Cara returns to Madison and tries to reconnect with her friends. She finds out that this is easier said than done.

Teddy Vargas ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim - latinx ): is an easy-going skater who likes to smoke weed, and as the more sensible and responsible friend, he is often put out by Luka’s behavior. Teddy is forced to act as the leader of the group whenever Gus has a panic attack or when Lukas takes things too far; he is by far the most reliable in a crisis. We learned that his mom took her own life after battling depression and he has always resented his father for not getting her help. He has a very ambitious sister who always looks for the spotlight and manages to get all the attention from his dad. Teddy is always looking to save people and wants what is best for everyone. He is very compassionate and selfless but at the same time he knows when to put his foot down and always stands up for himself. NEW SERIES: Teddy suffered a leg injury and therefore he has to wear a brace. It was hard for him since he was always into sports, especially skating. He became a teacher and is currently the new high school principal at Madison. He tries to guide his students and keep them from doing the same mistakes he did as a kid but he is finding that to be challenging. He and Ben are good friends and we learn that he posted bail for Ben’s early release. Teddy is engaged to Molly Larsen.

Ivy Porter ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Ivy is coming to terms with her identity as a lesbian. She is used to being the shadow of her sister, and is sulky but perceptive. As the show progresses, she begins to come out of her shell and strives for individuality. Much of this is due to her becoming okay with her sexuality and her feelings for Poppy Drake. She’s a kind and idealistic person but at the same time she can be selfish and passive aggressive. Her relationship with Poppy has its ups and downs but by the end of the series they had decided to stay together and make things work. Ivy was the only one who was not involved in the car crash because she and Poppy were spending the night together. NEW SERIES: Even though she was not involved in the accident Ivy was still affected by it since she was very close to Gus. We learn that she and Poppy broke things off and decided to stay friends. We also learn that Ivy married a woman named Susana and that they have asked Nancy to be their surrogate. Ivy struggles with the idea of starting a family but doesn't know how to talk to Susan about it.

Supporting Cast

Molly Larsen ( 33 - 34 yo - character name - open face claim ): is Luka's younger sister, and shares many of the same qualities as him. She is mysterious and manipulative, but almost mute. We see more of her in season 3 where she is involved in a love triangle and gets involved with a teacher. NEW SERIES: In the new series we learn that she managed to get her life together and is soon to be married to Teddy Vargas.

Poppy Bird ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Poppy was Ivy’s on and off girlfriend during the first three seasons of the show. She is very carefree and open minded but at the same time very guarded. She had a difficult time coming to terms with her sexuality which was the cause of a lot of drama between her and Ivy. Eventually she accepted who she was and declared her love for Ivy. NEW SERIES: We learn that she has moved away from Madison and is currently living in Arizona. However she comes back for two episodes to tell Ivy that she has a terminal illness.

Susana Santoro ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim - POC ): Ivy’s wife. She works as a veterinarian and has three younger sisters. She is very cheerful, caring and incredibly perceptive. She wants to start a family and knows that Ivy has her doubts about it.

Tommy Mills ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Evie’s ex husband who works as a bouncer at the local strip club. He comes off as being extremely rude and seems to have a violent streak. We learn that Evie left him because of his constant drinking and cheating, which is ironic considering she is having an affair with a married man.

Sean Michaels ( 35 - 36 yo - character name - open face claim ): Ben’s lover and drug dealer. Definitely a terrible influence in Ben’s life but at the same time he seems to actually care about him. We learn that he has a sick daughter and that he started to deal drugs in order to pay for her treatment.

Other Cast

There are other characters on the show that have minor roles like Luka’s wife, some friends, enemies, whatever. Let me know if you’re interested in playing a minor role.

Crew

Executive producer ( s ):

Director (s):

Writer (s):

Casting Director:

Costume Designer (s):

Make up artist (s): Margot Montgomery, Ashley Benson, 29

#losagelessrp #request

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shielddrake · 4 years

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The Monomyth in Video Games (AKA My Longest Rambling Ever)

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

A person who comes from humble beginnings is called to go on an adventure to accomplish something great. He (it’s usually he) may either jump at the call or initially refuse it, but finally goes with the help of a mentor figure. He meets various amazing people and faces a myriad of challenges to achieve his ultimate goal. He confronts the main obstacle, overcomes it, and is rewarded for it. He returns to his home a wiser person, and bestows upon his fellow people the lessons he has learned, to the benefit of all. The End.

Anyone know this? Anyone? Yup, that is a short, short, very short and simplified version of the monomyth, also known as The Hero’s Journey, a narrative device observed by many people but popularized by Joseph Campbell. It has been studied and used by storytellers of various media, ranging from oral tales to books to movies to, yes, video games.

It is one of the most common narrative devices out there, if not possibly the most common, at least historically. I’m sure a lot of us were exposed to Greek myths such as The Odyssey in school (at least, in America we are). JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings has many of the steps in the early parts of the story, before drifting in other directions once the fellowship separates. Each individual Harry Potter book has its own cycle of The Hero’s Journey. Every. Single. One. Star Wars is still a popular franchise (the more recent criticisms aside) and George Lucas has admitted repeatedly he used the monomyth as inspiration while he was writing the scripts for the original trilogy. So even if you are not intimately familiar with The Hero’s Journey in detail, high chances are you’ve been exposed to it simply through consuming various media.

That’s not to say that using this narrative device is always intentional. I would find it incredibly surprising if Hiromu Arakawa or Hajime Isayama were purposely trying to include monomyth steps in their creation of Fullmetal Alchemist and Attack on Titan, respectfully, or that the creators of the 2019 anime version of Dororo meant to put Hyakkimaru through the paces of The Hero’s Journey, but sure enough, all these have some aspects of the monomyth in them!

Does this mean a story, whether it’s a novel, TV show, movie or video game, has to possess all these steps in order to be considered using the monomyth? No, definitely not. On the contrary, it would actually be a good thing for stories to not require use of all these steps. Telling a story by just crossing items off from a list is bound to create a rather stale experience. What I’m saying is simply that stories will borrow aspects of The Hero’s Journey to make the story compelling. The same goes for order and magnitude. The monomyth is usually presented in seventeen steps, but I don’t feel like they necessarily have to show up in the story in the listed order, nor do the steps have to take up equal amounts of the story-telling experience. Steps four through ten usually are the longest, while the last five or so tend to be rather short.

So, in my apparently endless determination to apply the same techniques used in literary theory and film theory to video games, I would like to go over a couple of video games and how they do or do not apply the various steps of the monomyth. I will go over four video games, noting whether each step is present, how much it adds to the story by its presence or absence, and how well the game represents the step.

I’ve decided to review Final Fantasy VII (because its remake it coming out relatively soon), Dragon Age Inquisition (for another RPG, but not made in Japan), Bioshock (to show this isn’t just an RPG thing), and Psychonauts (because I’ve still got Psychonauts on the mind from my last post). I will also be comparing this to the monomyth found in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone, The Lord of the Rings, and the Star Wars Original Trilogy.

There will be spoilers for these movies and games, on the off chance that anyone who hasn’t seen or played them doesn’t want them ruined. Do I need to keep putting spoiler warnings on older games? Or for the books/movies? Although I’m also kind of writing this with the idea that you have at least a passing knowledge of these movies, books and games…Oh well, just to be safe: Spoilers Ahead!

This is a really, really long one, so beware. Readers may want to take this in phases.

Let us begin.

1.) The Call to Adventure

First, there needs to be a little backstory established. The hero’s journey usually begins in the home of the main protagonist, more often than not showing the protagonist’s life in its everyday normalcy, which is often put in a negative light, ranging from boring to outright dangerous.

The hero will generally come from rather small beginnings, which is probably why orphans are a common origin story. Luke is an orphan who lives with his aunt and uncle, oblivious to the fact that his father is Darth Vader. Harry Potter is very much the same, living with a borderline abusive family who force him to sleep in the cupboard under the stairs. Frodo is also an orphan taken in by Bilbo, his second cousin (hobbit family trees are confusing). Please note that this does not preclude a hero from learning a parent is alive later in the story (looking at you, Luke).

In addition to this, the hero is rarely someone with much power, authority or money. Being a moisture farmer on Tatooine is apparently not the most noble of professions (though on a desert planet I’m a bit surprised by this), and the Dursleys appear to be middle class at best. Bilbo and Frodo are wealthy by hobbit standards and seem to be higher on the social hierarchy in The Shire, but remember that hobbits mostly reside in the Shire and immediately surrounding areas, so they aren’t considered to be important players in the world of men or elves. They are small both in stature and in society.

For our chosen video games, it’s a little bit up to interpretation of the word “orphan” and what the player decides, but the humble beginnings idea still applies. Cloud from Final Fantasy VII (FFVII) is half-orphaned at a young age when his father dies, but doesn’t become a full orphan until he’s a teenager, when his mother dies during the Nibelheim Incident. We only see this in a flashback, and adult Cloud is a full orphan by the start of the game. By this point, Cloud has fallen from a SOLDIER First Class to a mercenary. So he’s rebelling against the more powerful people in Midgar, or at least is being paid to do so.

The Inquisitor of Dragon Age Inquisition (DAI) may or may not have living parents, depending on origin and player choice. A human Inquisitor probably has living parents, but it’s a bit debatable if an elf, dwarf or Qunari Inquisitor does. At the beginning of the game the Inquisitor loses any prestige they may or may not have had (especially the human noble), and a Carta dwarf, Dalish elf, and Vashoth Qunari don’t have much in terms of power or rank in Thedas anyway. Whatever the case, the Inquisitor ends up being just a simple prisoner for the early prologue part of the story, before being raised up to the Herald of Andraste and eventually to Inquisitor.

Jack from Bioshock is an interesting case. He’s sold by his biological mother, “raised” by Dr. Suchong and Brigid Tenenbaum, and later smuggled out of Rapture to live with adoptive “parents.” He is also an outsider in that he is kind of an unknown factor, given his upbringing, so by the time Jack arrives in Rapture at the start of the game, he is basically nothing but another body that happens to be there. Without Atlas directing him, it is very possible he could have just become another splicer, the crazed and deformed human remnants of Rapture’s human population. Either way, he doesn’t have much in terms of money, power or authority by the start of the game.

Raz from Psychonauts doesn’t fit the orphan archetype, as he clearly has a rather large family, but he is estranged from his father at the very least. We don’t know his relationship with the rest of his family, but perhaps we’ll see more of that in the sequel. Raz definitely fits the humble beginnings archetype though, seeing as a circus performer profession is looked down upon, especially if you ask Kitty or Franke.

The Call to Adventure itself can come in many forms, either through circumstance, a person begging for help, the hero learning about their origin they previously didn’t know, the hero’s own desire for a better life, and so forth. “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.” Yeah, that one is pretty clear. Harry Potter gets his letter to Hogwarts delivered by Hagrid, and Gandalf says that Frodo must deliver The One Ring to Rivendell (although in the book Frodo takes a few months just thinking about it before actually leaving the Shire).

For Cloud, the call really comes from both Barret and Tifa, with Barret paying him to help destroy the Mako Reactors, and Tifa pretty much calling in the promise Cloud apparently made to protect her during their childhood. The Inquisitor is basically blackmailed into working with Cassandra and Leliana to rebuild the Inquisition to close the Breach, which the player can either go along with willingly or unwillingly.

Jack…doesn’t exactly have a call to adventure so much as he’s thrown into the adventure by way of mental conditioning and circumstance. The player doesn’t really get how the plane he’s riding crashed and why he ended up in Rapture until later in the game, but he’s basically told by Atlas/Fontaine what to do to help him save his (Atlas’) family. And things just go from there. For Raz, he receives a pamphlet for Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp, and being a psychic himself Raz decides to run away from the circus (in an inversion of the normal run away to the circus trope) to attend the camp. I would still like to know who it was that gave Raz that pamphlet to begin with. I’ve heard a lot of different theories. What do you guys think?

2.) The Refusal of the Call

When the hero receives the Call to Adventure, in whatever form it comes in, the hero often refuses the call, saying he or she is not cut out for whatever the adventure calls for or they have something else more important to do. This can be saying you have to help your uncle on the moisture farm, saying you can’t possibly be a wizard, or trying to give The One Ring to the wizard who reveals the danger you’re in. The Refusal is of course short-lived and the hero goes along with the call anyway, otherwise there would ultimately be no plot, or at least a very, very boring one.

Cloud’s Refusal of the Call is short-lived but repeated. He tells Barret that Shinra sucking Mako from the planet isn’t his problem, tells Biggs he’s gone once the job is over, proclaims to the entire AVALANCHE group that he doesn’t care about the planet, and tells Tifa he’s going to let AVALANCHE deal with Shinra and that he’s no hero. It isn’t until Tifa reminds him of a promise he made to her that he actually sticks around the group. All this occurs in roughly the first half hour of the game.

In DAI, a Refusal of the Call is optional based on player choice. The Inquisitor can reject being the Herald of Andraste basically from the word go, with repeated rejections scattered about the entire game. Later, the player can refuse the idea of leading the Inquisition, including for race or religious reasons. All this doesn’t matter, however, as the game continues on with the player’s character being referred to as the Herald/Inquisitor anyway, so the refusal is kind of a moot point.

Bioshock and Psychonauts don’t really have any Refusals of the Call. Raz actually jumps at the chance of going on an adventure, away from the circus, away from his family, who he thinks doesn’t understand him. If anything, the refusal comes from his father, Augustus, who destroys the pamphlet for the camp and forces Raz to practice acrobatics instead. But Jack’s story is the most interesting to me in terms of the refusal, and anyone who has played through Bioshock knows why. Not only does Jack not refuse the call, but also he also literally cannot refuse it. His “Would You Kindly” mental conditioning keeps him from doing so, and I love that it is buried in the gameplay in a way that the player doesn’t even realize the mental conditioning is there until much later. Story and gameplay integrated!

3.) Supernatural Aid/Meeting the Mentor

I’ve seen this step be called alternatively both Supernatural Aid and Meeting the Mentor, depending on who is describing The Hero’s Journey. Campbell called it the former, while the more recent Christopher Vogel calls it the latter. Personally I think these should be separate steps, but they often have to do with one another in some way, so I guess they can go together.

The term “supernatural” is just vague enough that it can mean many things. It can mean magic, divine intervention, magic, genetic manipulation, magic, psychic abilities, magic, aliens, or Force magic, to name a few. Harry Potter and Fellowship of the Rings all have some form of magic (of course), while Star Wars has the Force. FFVII has magic, the ancient spiritual race of the Cetra, and, strangely enough, the alien invader Jenova. Psychonauts has psychics (again, of course). DAI has presumed divine intervention from the Jesus-like figure of Andraste, at least until the Inquisitor enters the Fade and learns it was actually Divine Justinia, who is basically the Dragon Age version of the Pope. The Plasmids that Jack uses throughout Bioshock is more scientific than magical, but it still serves the same function.

As for mentors, some of those are pretty obvious for the books/movies. Luke has Obi-Wan, Frodo has Gandalf, and Harry has Dumbledore. For our chosen video games, it’s a bit less clear. Cloud’s “mentors” might actually be his love interests Aerith and Tifa, depending on how far in the game the player is. Jack has both Atlas/Fontaine and Tenenbaum, for better or worse. Raz actually has several, which is no surprise considering summer camps have to have several camp counselors, but the two major ones are Sasha Nein and Ford Cruller, since those are the ones he spends the most time with and Raz clearly looks up to Sasha as his hero.

For the Inquisitor, that’s where it gets a bit muddy. It would seem like Cassandra starts as a mentor figure, giving the Herald advice and trying to direct them, but quickly takes a backseat once the player character becomes the Inquisitor proper. She doesn’t even show up at the war table anymore, whereas in Haven she does. Is Leliana a mentor? Kind of, but only in the sense that she acts as an advisor, roles that are also played by Cullen and Josephine. Solas? Well, he would like to think so, and you even get minor boosts in approval if you listen to him. Or you could ignore him entirely and piss him off. Andraste? Sure, if your Inquisitor is devout. It’s more up to the interpretation and choices of the player.

4.) Crossing the First Threshold

This is the step where the protagonist basically goes, “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” (Yes, MGM’s Wizard of Oz also has its own Hero’s Journey!) It is the point of no return, where the hero finally decides to go with the Call to Adventure. It is also in this step that the hero first encounters some of the real world outside of his or her comfort zone. So, this is another step that is kind of more like two steps.

Our movies certainly have this two-part step. Luke decides to go with Obi-Wan to Alderaan after his aunt and uncle are killed by Imperial soldiers, and the cantina scene is his first real interaction with the tougher people that exist in the galaxy, including the skeptical Han Solo. Frodo (eventually) decides to take the One Ring to Rivendell, and The Prancing Pony in Bree exposes the hobbits to full-sized people for the first time, other than Gandalf. Harry Potter also has two, once at the Leaky Cauldron (pubs and inns seem to be a trend) leading to Diagon Alley and again on the Hogwarts Express.

Psychonauts has an obvious Crossing of the First Threshold: Raz enters Coach Oleander’s mind, the Basic Braining level, the first mind Raz ever enters…presumably. It’s possible he entered another mind before then, but it’s not likely.

Jack’s first sight of Rapture kind of acts as a first threshold, for both Jack as a character and for the player, but I also kind of like to think of it as the scene where Jack first sees a Big Daddy defend a Little Sister from a splicer. It gives a bit of foreshadowing that nothing is what it looks like down here, and Jack (and by extension, the player) should be careful about who he trusts. A Little Sister is not a small, innocent creature after all, because there is always a dangerous, hulking Big Daddy somewhere nearby. Atlas is not who he appears to be, and ultimately Jack isn’t either. Instead, they are both people wearing masks, one intentionally and the other completely obviously.

The first attempt at closing the Breach in DAI is a clear crossing, because it is from there that the Inquisition is reborn and the main character becomes the Herald of Andraste. Nothing is the same for the player’s character from that point on. The same goes for Cloud and the gang after the pillar holding up the upper plate over the Sector 7 slums collapses. Most of AVALANCHE’s members are killed and Aerith is captured. It’s not about saving the planet by this point. It’s about saving Aerith and getting revenge. Things just domino on from there.

5.) Belly of the Whale

This step coincides with the previous one. It is the final separation from everything the hero knows and moving into the unknown. Oftentimes it overlaps with a step called Loss of the Mentor, but it doesn’t have to. Consumption by a whale is optional, though use of a metaphorical whale is the more common approach.

Speaking of metaphorical whales, what’s a bigger one than the Death Star? The same place where Obi-Wan dies, leaving the last connection to anything Luke had to his previous life and the one who would help him step into the future. He’s aboard the Millennium Falcon with two other people, two droids and a Wookie, but in reality he’s completely alone.

Another such whale is Moria, the underground kingdom previously ruled by dwarves, but by the time of The Fellowship of the Ring, it is overrun by goblins, orcs, and the Balrog. The fellowship is swallowed by the earth and needs to get out. The price of that, however, is losing Gandalf. Another mentor lost. An even bigger whale is seen later in the books once Frodo and Sam reach Mordor itself, and they have to face even more challenges to get the One Ring to Mount Doom.

For Harry, the whale could be a couple of things. It could be Hogwarts itself, the Forbidden Forest, the Hogwarts Express, the forbidden room on the third floor, or perhaps the trapdoor under Fluffy and the passage underneath…Lots of options here. Now, the mentor figure for this book, Dumbledore, doesn’t leave Hogwarts until near the end of the story, and thankfully he doesn’t die, unlike the previous mentors who happen to be old, bearded, wizard men. He waits until book six to do that.

FFVII kind of has an opposite whale. On one hand, it could be argued that the Shinra, Inc. building could be the whale, and although it certainly could be, I think a more poignant one would be the greater world itself. Once Cloud and the gang escape from Shinra, they leave Midgar and head out into the world, and they don’t return to Midgar until the end of the game. This could also be considered a Crossing the First Threshold.

Again, DAI is about choice, but there are two events that are pretty big whales. The first is trying to recruit either the mages or the Templars to the Inquisition to close the Breach. Whether the player ends up facing Alexius in a dystopian future or fighting an Envy Demon for control in the Herald’s own mind, the main character ends up delving deep into a dangerous situation they have to climb out of. The second time is during the quest line to fight the possessed Gray Wardens and the Inquisitor ends up falling into the Fade. Quite a whale there, the Fade. A giant world that is only supposed to be accessible either to mages or in dreams. This is even more intense of an experience for a dwarf Inquisitor, since dwarves do not dream and cannot be mages in this universe.

Bioshock…well, besides the idea of Rapture itself being a whale (during the game’s opening scenes, we even see a whale swim between Rapture’s towers), I would consider the most likely place to be Rapture Central Control. It’s here that some of the most important game events happen, after all. Jack kills Andrew Ryan, there’s the reveal of Jack’s “Would You Kindly” mental conditioning, and Jack learns he’s actually Ryan’s illegitimate son. Not to mention learning that Atlas, who has been guiding Jack and the player throughout the game thus far, is actually Frank Fontaine, the big bad. He has actually been using Jack this whole time just to one-up Andrew Ryan in their little power struggle. And then Fontaine betrays Jack and sends security bots to kill him, leading to yet another loss of a mentor. That’s a lot to take in during such a short time.

Psychonauts doesn’t have a whale, but it does have a Hideous Hulking Lungfish. Raz has to do battle with her beneath Lake Oblongata, and then enter her mind so Raz can release her from Kochamara’s control. By then, Sasha and Milla have already been kidnapped, under the ruse of “Official Psychonauts Business,” and Ford Cruller is forced to remain in his underground lair near the psitanium so he doesn’t fall into one of his many personalities. So much for help there.

6.) The Road of Trials

The Road of Trials is the meat and potatoes of the story. It’s all the challenges the hero must overcome in order to reach the ultimate goal, whether it’s a big or little one. The challenges themselves may also be large or small, and according to Campbell often occur in groups of three. These challenges prepare the hero for the final encounter at the end of the story.

…Do I really need to go over these in detail for each movie and game I’m reviewing here? It’s basically the plot all the characters go through during the course of the story, ranging from battles, dungeons, travel, magic classes, camp activities, puzzles, and so forth. I’m not going to list each one here. This post is long enough as it is.

7.) The Meeting with the Goddess

This step involves the hero meeting with another character who helps them in some way, whether it’s as part of the hero’s group, by giving an item that is helpful, or just giving good advice. More often than not, this character is one of high ranking: an actual goddess, a princess, a queen, or something of that sort. She may or may not be a love interest, and more modernly she may not be a “she” at all…our examples here though do happen to be female, but I’m just saying this doesn’t have to be the case.

Star Wars is obvious. Luke meets Leia, the Princess of Alderaan who hides the plans to destroy the Death Star in R2D2, first in her hologram and then in person aboard the Death Star itself. Frodo meets Galadriel in Lothlorien, where she allows him (and Sam, in the books) to glimpse into the Mirror of Galadriel to see the possible future of the Shire should his quest fail. She also provides him the phial containing the light of Earendil’s star, which is vital to fighting off Shelob later on. I wouldn’t exactly say Harry Potter has a goddess to meet, but I like to think it’s supposed to be Hermione, since she knows so much and often is the only one who actually knows what’s going on.

Let’s see. FFVII has Aerith, whose big “gift” to the story is giving her life while she prays for Holy to stop Sephiroth’s Meteor. Bioshock has Brigid Tenenbaum, who assists Jack throughout the game if he spares the Little Sisters, and removes part of his mental conditioning so Jack can resist Fontaine. Milla is one of Raz’s teachers at Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp, teaching him the Levitation ability, which is arguably the most useful ability in the game.

As for DAI, there are plenty of characters that can play the role of the goddess, but I would argue the most important one might be Morrigan. She tells the Inquisitor about the eluvians and theorizes Corypheus is searching for one as a means to reach the Fade. Although she ends up being wrong, Morrigan also is a candidate for drinking from the Well of Sorrows, and if she does she helps the Inquisitor by fighting the red lyrium dragon during the final battle with Corypheus.

8.) Woman as Temptress

Here’s another misleading title. The Woman as Temptress originates back from Campbell’s research of Greek myths, where the hero is enticed by a female figure: Circe, Calypso, the Sirens, and so on. Today, the “woman” is really just anything that tries to drive the hero away from the path of his journey. This can be power, money, promises, or threats, for some other examples. It can still be a person, but lately that hasn’t been the case.

There is always the temptation of the Dark Side of the Force, although Luke doesn’t really encounter this in full force until The Empire Strikes Back. The One Ring is the temptation itself, and it actually does succeed, since Frodo doesn’t throw the Ring into the fires of Mount Doom. It isn’t destroyed until Gollum bites off Frodo’s finger, reclaims the Ring, and falls into the Crack of Doom while doing a happy jig. Voldemort tries (very briefly) to get Harry to join him and hand over the Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone at the end of the book (it’s a bit longer in the movie) but that doesn’t last very long.

There’s not exactly a temptation in FFVII, although I guess Jenova manipulating Cloud into bringing the Black Material to Sephiroth at the North Crater is the closest thing. I feel that goes more into the manipulation category than temptation though, but it still functions in a similar way. Bioshock has the temptation of harvesting the Little Sisters to receive more ADAM from them, and thus allowing Jack to obtain more abilities. This can be really appealing from a gameplay perspective, and results in the bad ending of the game if you kill every Little Sister. Alternatively, Tenenbaum compensates you if you spare the Little Sisters, so it’s not the end of the world to resist the temptation.

…Raz doesn’t have a temptation to stop trying to become a Psychonaut. At all. Oleander never convinces him, Loboto doesn’t convince him (their interaction is actually incredibly small in the main game), none of the other campers dissuade him, and he faces all the obstacles in all the different minds with determination. The closest thing I can think of is Lili, who really just tries to give him a realistic view that the Psychonauts are not as important as they once were. I guess the “making out” scene kind of fits here, since Raz is clearing distracted by the idea of kissing Lili and doesn’t pay any attention to what she’s saying immediately after. Linda interrupting them puts an end to that though.

As for DAI…yeah, I have trouble with this one. There really isn’t anything that tempts the Inquisitor in a way that distracts them from the danger at hand. Romance doesn’t do it, power doesn’t do it, money doesn’t do it, blood magic doesn’t do it, demons don’t do it…Yeah, I’ve got nothing. Readers, please help me with this, if possible!

9.) Atonement with the Father

This is the step most people know even if they don’t know the concept of the Hero’s Journey itself, because it is such a common trope used in all kinds of story telling. This can be a father or father figure, and honestly it’s not unusual for this to be replaced by a brother in video games, and less commonly with another relative. This step may or may not be related to the next step, Apotheosis, depending on if the “father” is the source of the main conflict, but it is still one of the major obstacles the hero must overcome. Another thing to note that this step does not have to involve the death of the “father” either.

Let’s face it: Star Wars is one of those films that normalized the father-son conflict dynamic in movies. Sure, it existed before then, but it became a huge thing after the iconic scene between Luke and Vader in The Empire Strikes Back. The conflict doesn’t come to a head until The Return of the Jedi, when Vader finally redeems himself by killing Palpatine and saving Luke’s life, giving his own in the process.

That being said, it’s interesting that the other two movies we’re looking at have more distant aspects of the Atonement with the Father step. It’s not Frodo who has to deal with his father’s displeasure, but Faramir. Is there anything worse than hearing your father admit that he wishes you had died and your older brother had lived? Denethor doesn’t appear to care about Faramir until he appears to have died. This is less apparent in the book, but it’s still there.

Harry Potter has the same thing. Obviously since Harry doesn’t have a living father, it’s kind of hard for him to have a conflict with him. I guess there’s kind of atonement with Severus Snape in the last book, but you have to really, really squint to make it that relationship one of a father-figure and son. …No, that doesn’t work for our purposes. There are issues with fathers with other characters, like Ron, Neville and Draco, but those relationships aren’t really elaborated on until later in the series.

Video games often follow a similar pattern. Conflict with a father or father figure is incredibly common. Raz and Jack both have big issues with their dads, although Raz’s resolution is obviously more positive than Jack’s. Raz actually does atone with his dad, right before the final battle with a giant two-headed father monster in Raz and Oleander’s combined mental world. (If you don’t know Psychonauts, it makes sense in context, I promise.) Jack meanwhile…kills his biological father, although perhaps not willingly considering his mental conditioning. Andrew Ryan is a pretty terrible human being though, so maybe Jack/the player would have wanted to kill him anyway. Maybe.

It should also be no surprise that the father issue doesn’t have to surround the main character, especially since being an orphan is a common backstory, as mentioned in the Call to Adventure step above. The Inquisitor doesn’t really have issues with his/her father, presuming the player thinks the father is still alive, but Dorian certainly takes umbrage with his father trying to use blood magic to change his sexuality. It’s up to the player to either encourage or discourage Dorian from reconciling with his father, so this step is up in the air in that regard.

Another similar conflict that occurs in DAI that isn’t with a father is between Morrigan and Flemeth, although I would hesitate to consider it”atonement,” especially if Morrigan is the one who drinks from the Well of Sorrows, thus tying her to Flemeth’s command. Of course, with Flemeth out of the picture and Solas taking over, I wonder how that connection stands now.

The father conflict is also not related to the main character in FFVII. Red XIII, aka Nanaki, has issues with believing his father, Seto, abandoned his mother and his tribe during an attack by the Gi tribe. In truth, Seto actually sacrificed himself to prevent a backdoor invasion, turning to stone after being hit by several petrifying arrows. Once Red learns the truth about this, he proclaims that his father was a hero and he will protect his home, Cosmo Canyon, just like he did.

And that’s not even getting into all the father issues present in the other Final Fantasy games, plus others in FFVII. Maybe I’ll do another post about that topic another time.

10.) Apotheosis

This is the point the quest has been leading up to. The final challenge. The final battle. The final countdown. The hero takes all they have learned over the course of their journey and applies it to this final challenge. If there’s a main villain of the story, this is the time where the hero confronts them.

This is pretty self-explanatory. Luke Skywalker trusts in the Force, which allows him to blow up the Death Star. Harry Potter decides he wants to obtain the Philosopher’s Stone, but not use it, and that’s what allows him to receive it from the Mirror of Erised. And Frodo has to throw the One Ring into the Crack of Doom to defeat Sauron. That last one is interesting in that Frodo technically fails to do this final task, which is not something we historically see in Hero’s Journeys, but such a failure is becoming more common.

Applying this step to video games feels a bit like cheating considering that a large majority of them have a final boss battle of some kind, and our four games are no exception. Most of the resolution of the main character’s stories coincides with the defeat of the final boss. Jack’s story ends when he is able to reverse his mental conditioning (with Tenenbaum’s help) and he defeats Fontaine, and the Inquisitor’s conflict with Corypheus ends, of course, with Corypheus’ death. The Trespasser DLC for DAI adds more conflict involving what happens after and what the Inquisitor is going to do about their Mark that is slowly killing them, but I feel that’s another story, so it’s beyond The Hero’s Journey of the main game.

However, despite having final boss battles, I feel that Psychonauts and FFVII also have an Apotheosis step in terms of the characters themselves. Raz has to defeat the two-headed mental amalgamation of his and Oleander’s fathers, but he is able to do so because his real father breaks into his mental world and lends Raz his power so he can fight the monster. That reconciliation is more important to Raz’s story than beating the monster. Honestly, Raz probably wouldn’t have agreed to use his father’s strength if they hadn’t reconciled literally just prior to the final fight.

Cloud’s Apotheosis really has to do with coming to terms with his false memories. He never actually joined SOLDIER, instead becoming a grunt in the Midgar army. He was experimented on after the Nibelheim Incident, escaped with Zack, and basically imprinted Zack’s life, experiences, mannerisms and skills after Zack was killed right in front of him. Cloud and Tifa have to sift through Cloud’s memories to figure out what really happened during the Nibelheim Incident, thus returning Cloud to his normal self. Essentially, Cloud has to realize that he is not as strong of a person as he previously believed, and that there’s nothing wrong with being weak. What you have to be is true to yourself. That’s more important than being strong.

11.) The Ultimate Boon

So if the Apotheosis is the final challenge of the journey, then the Ultimate Boon is the reward for overcoming it. This can be material or not, and likewise may or may not be what the hero initially set out to receive or accomplish. The boon can be large (such as saving the world) or small (earning a medal), and it can be public (again, saving the world) or personal (winning a love interest’s heart).

Harry and Frodo both set out to accomplish a task, preventing the Philosopher’s Stone being stolen and destroying the One Ring, respectively, although Harry’s realization that he must do this thing is later on in the story compared to Frodo. They both succeed and are both rewarded. Harry and his friends are basically handed the House Cup at the end of the school year for thwarting Voldemort’s plan, and Frodo and the fellowship save the world, and more importantly for Frodo, save the Shire.

However, Frodo does end up having to leave the Shire and go into the east due to the wounds he acquired throughout the journey as well as the strain of carrying the Ring. In a way, he is rewarded for his journey, but also punished because he didn’t actually accomplish the task he set out to do. He ends up leaving the Shire, his home, which he wanted to save to begin with.

Luke is kind of the same way. He doesn’t set out necessarily to find his father and bring him back to the light. His Call to Adventure had to do with going to Alderaan with Obi-Wan to help Leia, and he is rewarded with a medal at the end of A New Hope for destroying the Death Star. However, his boon really has to do with reconciling with Vader, a conflict that doesn’t begin until The Empire Strikes back, later in his Hero’s Journey. However, this is just a good example of how the boon does not necessarily have to relate to the call.

The boons for both FFVII and DAI are saving the world. It’s good for the world to not be destroyed, after all. Raz’s boon is a bit more personal: He is allowed to join the Psychonauts, which he set out to do, but his relationship with his father is also significantly improved now that the two of them understand one another better.

For Jack, he saves Rapture…sort of. If the events of Bioshock 2 indicate anything, it’s that things really haven’t gotten better for Rapture following Fontaine’s defeat. However, presuming that the player spared the Little Sisters and gets the good ending of the game, Jack returns to the surface world with the cured Little Sisters, who essentially become his daughters. In the words of Brigid Tenenbaum, “In the end, what was your reward? You never said. But I think I know…a family.”

Jack is given the short end of the stick in terms of family and future. His parents are not his real parents, his biological father Andrew Ryan didn’t want him, his mother sold him to Tenenbaum and Suchong as an embryo, and he has no control over himself or his own destiny. Considering it turns out everything Jack knew about himself and his family is a lie, a real family is the best thing he could have received. Jack basically has nothing at the beginning of the game, so the fact that he is able to still build a life for himself and the former Little Sisters is a great reward. Of course, this is thrown out of the window if the player harvests the Little Sisters and gets the bad or neutral endings, so there you go.

12.) Refusal of the Return

We’ve reached the point where the hero has accomplished the goal he/she has set out to do, has received their reward, and now has to go back to normal life that was left behind at the beginning of the story. What? The hero doesn’t want to return to normal life? They prefer the world they’re in now? Yeah, in a strange reversal of the Refusal of the Call, the hero no longer wants to return to their previous life, having earned the boon and learned the lessons they have.

Can anyone really blame Harry Potter for not wanting to return to his aunt and uncle’s house once the school year end? Yeah, let’s go back to the house where he’s treated horribly, has a literal hand-me-down bedroom, and is not allowed to perform any of the magic he has grown to love. Plus his owl is forced to stay in her cage the whole summer. That sounds great! Let’s do that.

Frodo, on the other hand, does return to his normal life in the Shire, but later has to leave because of his wounds and from carrying the One Ring (see The Ultimate Boon step above). It’s not so much that he refuses to return, but rather he is forced to leave again. Luke is kind of the same way. He doesn’t really refuse to return to his family and their moisture farm, it’s that he can’t return to it, because that has been destroyed. His previous life can no longer be. Even if we stretch the timeline to the end of The Return of the Jedi, Luke never goes back to just being a moisture farmer.

Psychonauts only has a half-hearted refusal. At the end of the game, Raz acts like he’s going to go back to the circus, but only for a moment. Once the opportunity to go on another rescue mission comes up, Raz turns to nonverbally ask his father if he can go. It’s more like he’s asking for permission to not return rather than refusing outright.

The Inquisitor of DAI doesn’t return to their previous world either. The life of running the Inquisition doesn’t end when Corypheus is defeated. It continues on until the Trespasser DLC, which even at the end of that the Inquisitor continues their adventure to stop Solas from basically destroying the world in a few years. I’m actually pretty eager to see how the Inquisitor fits in the next Dragon Age game, although the developers have given a 2022 release date, last time I checked.

For Bioshock, Jack really does not refuse to return, symbolically indicated by him leaving Rapture and returning to the surface world. Regardless of whether he brings the cured Little Sisters to the surface to have a normal life or he becomes the splicers’ new leader and brings them to the surface to destroy mankind, he peaces out of Rapture at the first opportunity he has. There’s no refusal to return on Jack’s part at all.

FFVII…okay, I’m again having trouble with this step. Cloud doesn’t really act like he refuses to go back to his previous life. His previous life is actually up in the air, with all his messed up memories and near lack of anything connecting him to his past, either as himself or with his false memories as an ex-SOLDIER. The only person really connecting him to his life before the story is Tifa, and I’m not going to get into the shipping wars about whether he should be with her or the now dead Aerith. That’s a different post. Regardless, by the end of the game, Cloud is more interested in moving forward than going back.

13.) The Magic Flight

In the process of returning to normal life, the hero will often have to flee from some kind of danger. This happens after the hero has received the boon, but before they are able to bring it to the people. If there’s a bad guy that needs to defeating or a task that needs accomplishing, this step often takes place immediately after. Actual flying is not required, but don’t be surprised if it does. The Magic Flight frequently merges with the next two steps, Rescue from Without and The Crossing of the Return Threshold.

Let’s see. Luke escapes the Death Star on a shuttle with his father’s body. Frodo and Sam fly with the Eagles back to safety as Mount Doom is erupting. Harry is knocked unconscious and rescued by Dumbledore from the room containing the Mirror of Erised. Whew. Managed to keep that short.

DAI doesn’t really have this step, because again, the story keeps going even after Corypheus’ end. However, I could argue there are other parts of the game that have a Magic Flight, such as escaping from the dystopian future after defeating Alexius or escaping the Fade after fighting the Fear Demon. These events just don’t happen at the end of the game. FFVII also only kind of has this step too, in the form of the Highwind bringing the party out of the North Crater following the defeat of Safer Sephiroth.

Raz has to escape from his own mind, which is intertwined with Oleander’s in the last stage of the game, and his brain has to be detangled in order to return to his normal self. He’s not really conscious for the process though, so the player doesn’t really see it. As for Jack, this step is really kind of merged with the next two, so we’ll get to those.

14.) Rescue from Without

During the course of the Magic Flight, the hero will be unable to escape the danger they are trying to flee from on their own. Someone (or multiple people) will need to come in and rescue the hero. This is especially true if the hero is injured or weakened in some way, particularly after a rough final battle with the big bad.

As stated before, this one often overlaps with the previous one and the next one. Vader saves Luke from Palpatine’s Force Lightning. The Eagles rescue Frodo and Sam from the erupting Mount Doom. Harry rescued from the attack from Voldemort/Quirrell by Dumbledore and brought to the Hospital Wing for treatment. Yeah, that sounds about the same as before.

The closest thing the Inquisitor comes to being rescued from without, at least at the end of the game, is with the red lyrium dragon, where either a dragon-shifted Morrigan (if she drank from the Well of Sorrows) or the Guardian of Mythal (if the Inquisitor did). However, the red lyrium dragon defeats either Morrigan or the Guardian, and the Inquisitor and the party have to fight it anyway. So it’s an attempted but ultimately unsuccessful rescue.

Raz is rescued by his dad, Augustus, from his own brain, and I imagine Cruller, Sasha and Milla all played a role in separating Raz’s brain from Oleander’s and rebraining him, even though this isn’t shown on screen. Several Little Sisters stab Fontaine to death with their ADAM-collecting syringe, saving Jack from his final blow. It’s a wonderfully satisfying scene and I absolutely love it. FFVII has a rescue of sorts in that Aerith has to basically make the Lifestream rise up to help her Holy spell stop Meteor from destroying the planet. How she manages to do this from beyond the grave is never explicitly explained. It must just be a Cetra thing.

15.) The Crossing of the Return Threshold

So, this step is the final of the triumvirate of the return steps. The hero actually returns to their normal life or their previous home, and distributes the boon they have received upon the rest of the world. This is basically anything that happens after the climax of the story. Exposition explaining what exactly has happened may or may not be included.

Luke returns to the rest of the characters on Endor to celebrate the destruction of the second Death Star, bringing the teachings of the light side of the Force with him. Harry Potter boards the Hogwarts Express to return to the Muggle world. And the hobbits all return to the Shire, although in the books they have to deal with Saruman and the Scouring of the Shire once there.

For Psychonauts, there’s kind of a Return Threshold, but only if you stretch it, and not in the sense that returns Raz to his normal life. Quite the opposite actually. Raz and the gang levitate into the Psychonauts jet that just happens to show up from the ground. Hmm, didn’t Raz say he suspected that Cruller had a jet hiding in his lab somewhere? Oh look! More setup and payoff!

Finally, we come to Jack. After defeating Fontaine, he is finally able to take a bathysphere to the surface again. The player sees this almost immediately after defeating Fontaine, and it occurs regardless of whether the player gets the good or bad ending.

As stated in the Refusal of the Return step, neither DAI nor FFVII really have Crossing of the Return Threshold. FFVII just sort of ends and DAI doesn’t show the Inquisitor returning to their home origins, either in the game proper or in the DLC.

16.) Master of Two Worlds

This step is no so much of a step, but rather a final result of the hero’s journey. It is closely related to the next step, Freedom to Live. We see the hero basically in their final form, having achieved what they set out to do, whether that was the original intention or not. The hero is able to live in both their old and new worlds.

In our chosen movies, Luke is really the only one who is the Master of Two Worlds. He recognizes the darkness that exists in him, but he can overcome it. Frodo, on the other hand, literally can’t become Master of Two Worlds due to his experiences. He has to leave one world (the Shire) permanently for the east.

Harry…really has to compartmentalize his wizard and Muggle experiences, but that has more to do with his family not being willing to accept that magic is a part of him. Obviously his aunt and uncle do not care for his boon (magic) that he brings with him, forbidding him from using it, even without the Statute of Secrecy in place. He can’t really master both worlds in that regard, not until the last book and he reconciles with Dudley. (I’m really annoyed they cut that from the final release of the movies. That badly needed to be shown.) Harry does become a master of two worlds, the living and the dead, in the last book, but we’re looking at the first book alone, and this step isn’t really possible for him due to his circumstances.

Now I have to admit, the only game (on our list anyway) that has this step is probably Psychonauts. Cloud steps away from his false life as an ex-SOLDIER when he admits that it was all in his head, choosing instead to continue to live as himself. Jack either returns to the surface with the Little Sisters and stays there (in the good ending) or becomes the master of Rapture and new leader of the splicers, rejecting his previous life. And The Inquisitor, well, I guess you could say they become the master of both the real world and the Fade, especially since he/she gets progressively better at controlling the Anchor and closing Fade rifts. However, they he/she still remains in the real world as the Inquisitor, until the events of Trespasser at least. These three games have the main character choosing one world over another, so it’s hard to pin them down as “masters” of two.

Psychonauts, however, shows Raz accepts both parts of his life, as an acrobat and as a Psychonaut. This is illustrated excellently during the last platforming part of the game, during Meat Circus, with the rising water and Raz needing to keep up with his mental image of his dad. He uses both his acrobatic skills and his psychic powers to reach the top of the area. And as stated previously, Raz gains his father’s blessing before running off on another mission. Raz succeeds at being a Master of Two Worlds, and this kid is only ten!

17.) Freedom to Live

A follow up of the previous step, Freedom to Live is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Having mastered both worlds, the hero is allowed to live, as he or she wants, without worrying about any more conflicts…until the story sequel at least. This is the happy ending of the story, presuming the story has a happy ending.

All of our protagonists, both movie and video game, manage this step in one way or another. Luke no longer has the threat of the Sith looming over him, and he can be at peace knowing he helped to redeem his father (and, for now, I’m going to ignore the stuff that happens in the New Trilogy, because that starts up a whole new set of the monomyth). Harry is given the opportunity to go back to Hogwarts for more schooling, and even though his Muggle family disapproves, he knows who he is now and has answers for things he couldn’t explain before. Overall, the end of the first Harry Potter book gives him a new lot in life, and the series continues on with that from there.

And Frodo. Poor Frodo. Perhaps it’s hard to say he has “freedom” to live since he does end up leaving the Shire, but considering that his goal was to save the Shire (and by extension, all of Middle Earth), he succeeds. Frodo had to leave his home, but the other hobbits, including Sam, his closest companion, were able to live without a care. It’s a sacrifice, but one Frodo seems content to make.

As for the video games we’re looking at, well, now Raz has the freedom to pursue his dream of being a Psychonaut without worrying about it alienating his family, his father in particular. Cloud is able to put the past behind him and move forward as his own person, rather than trying to live up to a standard he forced himself to before. The Inquisitor has challenges ahead to be sure, but without the threat of Corypheus breathing down their neck, they have a bright future to look forward to (at least until Solas decides to tear down the Veil, but we’ll have to wait for Dragon Age 4 to see how that turns out). And finally, Jack finally has answers to any questions he had about his life, and with his mental conditioning removed, he is finally allowed to choose his own fate, whether as a despotic leader of the splicers or as a father to the cured Little Sisters.

So there you go. The Hero’s Journey in a bunch of movies and video games. As I said at the beginning of this extensive diatribe, the monomyth is not the only way to tell a story well, and it certainly is not mandatory to make a story good. However, whether intentional or not, parts of the monomyth somehow find their way into the stories we share in our various media. It’s worth looking at for any kind of story, if only to analyze how the presence or absence of the monomyth affects the story, for better or worse. And yes, video games can be a great form of story telling, if developers take the time to create it and players take the time to experience it.

Okay. This post has gone on long enough. To anyone who managed to make it all the way here, thank you for your patience and commitment to reading my ramblings.

#video games #video game analysis #movie analysis #monomyth #hero's journey #spoilers #writing #storytelling

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dangerouslyfantasticwizard · 4 years

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How am I feeling?

My relationship with mental health.

I wanted to pen a little something to help shine a light on the big messy swirl that is my mind.

I have been depressed for a number of years, clinically diagnosed in around 2009 but I can’t tell you when it really started, and I agree with the idiom “It never gets better, it just gets easier".

I have struggled on and off for as far back as I can remember, my parents divorce being a pivotal moment but only a small cog in the machine that ultimately lead me to here and now, sitting on the bathroom floor crying into some toilet roll because of the latest brick that was pulled out of the fresh mind-set that I was trying to build in my mind.

The second notable incident began in 2011, but he didn’t show himself until 2012.

Becoming a teenage parent is hard, and keeping another real life human alive is tough. Especially when you have a complicated relationship with the mother. We didn’t stay together for long after he was born, but we stayed close. It was a tough time for both of us and she was building on top of her own series of poor experiences that made her the person that she was. Neither of us had had it particularly easy, but she was dealt a hand worse than mine from the start.

This took its toll on my studies, as you can imagine, and I didn’t grade particularly highly at A Level. The combination of young child, my age and my poor grades formed a clear path for me. I was to go straight into work.

I juggled through various jobs, some much better than others, and did some pretty wonderful things. I was never truly happy in any one job and my home life never got any easier. The relationship that my sons mum and I had became increasingly difficult as we both tried to see other people and raise a child together as closely as we could. There were arguments, fights, slanging matches, I was banned from my sons 2nd birthday party, I collapsed in tears on multiple occasions and overall my life didn’t feel particularly worth it. I lost my friends, I rarely saw my family.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my son more than anything, but the situations I often found myself in because of the circumstances were not healthy places to be in.

I continued to jump through jobs building my skills and eventually settled into an industry I thought I liked. Until the stress made me ill.

My old friends reached out to me and I began being sociable again. That was quite an important thing for me as it helped me bounce back and had sounding boards to discuss my life with. Regaining my best friend from school was a real blessing. And then I gained a whole new group of friends scattered across the globe growing year on year, the Lost Legion. They have always been by my side in times of need and they are so precious to me.

So, I jump again from a job that makes me ill to a job that makes me regret waking up in the morning. I’ve never clock watched so much in my life. Thankfully it wasn’t long lived but during those 6 months there were many, many dramas involving my son and the circumstances around it.

Coparenting is hard and I believe that even people that praise us for our parenting style don’t quite understand what we go through. The relationships that have suffered because we try to do what’s best for our son are numerous. Coparenting for us is all about sharing parental responsibilities and acting as a family unit to show that our love for him overcomes any personal feelings we may have. This means that, ultimately, we have minor influences over each other’s lives. If we believe something is best for him we will work together to achieve it and sometimes that means making sacrifices and supporting each other. Two people with very poor mental health can lead to an element of “chipping in" when required to alleviate the pain that the person is dealing with. We both require parental getaways from time to time and we work to make it work.

This sometimes makes it difficult to hold down effective relationships as our partners feel they are being treated as second best to my ex. This couldn’t be further from the truth and maybe one day I will find a way to make them see. It's also something that I know will get easier as my son gets older. He's not far off 8 years old and it won't be too long before he can choose as and when he wants to see me and he can have jnout on how it all works.

Anyway, I jump around a bit further. At this particular point in the story I had remained single since the birth of my son. The loneliness wasn't easy at all. No matter how many friends or family members I surrounded myself with I still felt alone. Many questionable decisions were made including some that I am certainly not proud of. As you can probably imagine, this did not help the state of my mental health. Being alone is a dangerous feeling.

One thing I haven't covered is my confidence. As a natural born introvert I always struggled to make friends and express myself. This went hand in hand with the struggle that is being bisexual (biphobia is real and awful). I also enjoy make up, traditionally-female clothing and generally being a big queer. I was raised in a liberal family in a rather neglected bigotted environment so this was very very difficult to develop with and thus expressing myself was hard. Feelings had to be repressed from an early age and only recently have I felt more free to express them.

Skipping forwards to mid-2019. I had a job that I enjoy, a girlfriend that I adored that made me so unbelievably comfortable in my own skin. Everything was looking up. Until I received news that multiple very close members of my family had been diagnosed with cancer. Some of them are fine now, but there is a goodbye that I will have to bring myself to make in the very near future.

This caused my world to yet again come crashing down and begin a snowball that was only going to get bigger and bigger. My work studies are suffering, my social life is always hit and miss, my regular depression has moved out and the joy of SADs has moved in.

I am now single, facing a big family goodbye and so far behind in my work that I called my boss to apologise and broke down on the phone to her. All while doing my best to keep a smile for my son.

I don't want him to know that his daddy is falling apart.

Now, of course, I've skipped over many details and avoided particular mental breakdowns. Of course I still love my son and of course I utterly, desperately want my girlfriend back, and my finances are a horrific shambles for somebody that works in finance. But this isn't about any of that.

This post is about something else. Something that many people have done for me.

Checked in.

They've messaged me at night, and in the morning and at regular intervals to make sure that I don't make any foolish decisions.

I know what decision they're trying to avoid me taking, and I'd by lying if I said I hadn't thought about it, but that's not what I really want.

I've thought about taking my own life a few times since 2009, all for very different reasons. But I don't just want the pain to stop.

I want to live.

I want to grow old with somebody and watch my son live his dreams. I want to finish reading my books. I want to see how The Good Place ends. I want to see the people I love thrive.

Suicide isn't an option I have given myself. It's a locked door with no key. I'm far too curious as to what next year will bring to just end it all. Too many people I know have tried or have succeeded and I know the pain it causes.

So basically, I'll be fine, but I appreciate the concern.

I might update this post as I continue to explore my feelings, but here it is for now.

Things I haven't mentioned: Holding hands through miscarriages, other breakups, abuse, anorexia, anxiety attacks, other family issues etc.

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mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker · 5 years

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Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #13-15 Thoughts

Previous thoughts here.

Yes I know I couldn’t be later to this party but I started this series so I’m going to finish giving my thoughts on it.

I tried very hard to finish Houser’s run on RYV in time to read Spider-Girls but it just didn’t happen, I only made it up until just before the penultimate arc and I didn’t write up a proper post of my thoughts back then. So I re-read her first arc today with ambitions of re-reading the next 2 stories before finally experiencing the final arc and then Spider-Girls as part of reading over most of Spider-Geddon. What you will read below are a mixture of some initial thoughts I jotted down during my first read through and my thoughts upon revisiting the story, mostly the latter.

Oh SPOILERS I guess

So let me immediately get some obvious business about Renew Your Vows’ direction from here on in. The book, sans its covers, desperately misses Stegman. It also misses Conway but that is not a condemnation of Houser at all.

Houser in this arc does a good job with the situation presented by the new direction. Whether that new direction was her idea or editorials is unknown, though likely the latter.

And really that is the absolute worst thing about this story, the new direction itself.

It isn’t so much that it is bad unto itself but it is reductive that after 12 issues building a certain status quo, the one also built by the RYV Secret Wars mini-series and was promoted by Marvel prior and during the book’s initial release that we are abruptly changing course in a big way.

The book is still unique, at least the Spider-Books on the stands (even now). But it is less unique for various reasons.

Firstly we simply have way more teen heroes than pre-teen ones. Secondly a book that pays much attention to Spider-Man’s super powered teen daughter is going to either tread upon familiar ground that Spider-Girl stood on or else it will evoke Spider-Girl in the memories of the readers. Annie unto herself innately did this anyway, but that was offset when she was much younger than Mayday.

It also throws away the world building and set up Conway enacted in his initial arc, not to mention it just fast forwards a lot of Annie’s potential character development.

Does this render Annie uninteresting or the premise less likable? No because Houser has a strong handle on both the characters and more specifically what RYV as a book is.

Perhaps this is nowhere more apparent in how she structures her opening arc. Each issue shifts the POV to one of the Parker family, starting with Peter, then handing off to MJ and concluding with Annie, exactly like Conway’s first three issues did. This is a pretty clever way of conveying to readers Houser ‘gets’ the book and reassure readers who might not be thrilled about the time skip that these are the same characters just at different points in their lives, and not even that different, sans Annie.

This is rather realistic because Peter and MJ being the adults are comparatively less likely to change all that much even within 8 years whereas Annie inevitably will drastically change going from a pre-teen to an out-and-out teenager. Fittingly Houser compensates for this by showcasing Annie’s new state of being throughout the issues that are about Peter and MJ.

On the one hand this does somewhat undermine the idea that this book is about the family collectively as opposed being about Annie or placing Annie as the ‘first among equals’ in the team dynamic of the book.

On the other hand since the book is about the Parker family it adds up that so much of Peter and MJ’s characterization will stem from their relation to Annie; your child is after all the most important thing in your life.

So we get Annie’s somewhat more salty and disconnected relationship with a Peter who is very much starting to feel his age. Which is GOOD, the obnoxious proliferation of teen Spider-Man renders almost any older portrayal interesting by default. With MJ though, Annie seems to have a much more conciliatory relationship, its more that she exhausts her mother and seems more comfortable going to her about stuff. Also as a nice way of distinguishing her from Mayday, Annie seems to share her mother’s passion for fashion which Mayday actively didn’t.

Speaking of fashion lets talk about Annie’s new costume. I’ll level you all..it looks better than her prior costume, but also less unique but neither is...all that great. I guess when you have Mayday Parker and Spider-Gwen and all the Spider-Women running around, coming up with something thing that fits the general Spider-Man motif, looks unique and also is really dynamic can be difficult. I can see where the designer was going though. Peter, MJ and Annie share the same outlines for where the chest areas of their suits turn into another colour. Peter’s is red and blue, MJ’s red and white and Annie’s is blue to black. So the ‘shape’ of the suit lends to the ‘unified family’ idea. The colours also make her stand out but maybe too much. If her parents had red chests and then she has blue it’s kinda weird. If the idea was she was trying to strike out on her own sure but I don’t get that impression at all. It is kinda cool she has MJ’s mask design but I preferred her old mask which was a compromise between her parents’ masks.

As for the main plot, I think Houser could’ve milked it much more than she did, we could’ve done with much more of the slice of life stuff and the Lizard was underutilized. There is a strong element of family defining the Lizard’s character because of his wife and child. In a book about family I presumed that was where we were going when he showed up. But...no he was just used as a monster amidst monsters.

I’m not saying Houser got the Lizard wrong just that there was an obvious and more compelling angle to exploited in the story.

The two big reveals surrounding the plot, that there is a zoo full of near-human people, and that it’s being run by Mister Sinister was also...underwhelming.

Spider-Man has the best supporting cast and rogue’s gallery within Marvel comics. Not only does this mean we don’t really need to see non-Spider-Man characters (like the X-Men) pop up, it’s frankly less interesting when we do because they have little-no history with Spider-Man or his family.

It was also just kind of a reveal that didn’t land for me, I could not care at all.

Mister Sinister was a little different because, I like Sinister as a bad guy I really do...but not in Spider-Man. I get including and referencing the X-Men in this arc because for some reason they were practically supporting cast members in Conway’s run, so paying that off makes sense. But why double down upon it with a major X-villain? Like the Jackal, even Doc Ock, either of them would be more fitting villains in this type of story or where the series implies it will be leading onto later.

It didn’t help that when we met Sinister initially in disguise there was just very little gravitas to him because he obviously looked like a no-name 18th century circus reject.

The ending let this arc down is what I guess I’m getting at. Issue #13 and #14 had pretty nice hooks for the next issues.

What was a letdown throughout though was the action sequences. They were pretty pedestrian along with the art overall. Like it wasn’t BAD per se (except Peter’s eyebrows...wtf?), it just was a major step down from Stegman and even Stockman, the latter of whom I think the artwork was chosen to be more like. It had this softer undefined element to it, and not in a Romita Senior way.

Returning to the character though, I do commend Houser for having a good grip on everyone and efficiently finding a way to distinguish them from one another across the three issues.

Peter dealing with being older and now decidedly less cool and engaging to his teen daughter is delightful..even if at points it feels like the narrative is kind of undermining him, especially in the Wolverine scene at the start of the story...still Dad Joke Spider-Man is awesome. Even more awesome is how together he over all is. This isn’t an angst ridden Peter Parker or one who is introspectively questioning himself. Throughout the story he gives off this air of relaxed experience, like he knows what he’s doing and can tell the situation allows for a few jokes and a bit of fun. Refrshingly he doesn’t angst about not pursuing the bad guy at all.

Moving on, Houser probably dissing MJ’s place in the Iron books at the time with her reprimanding and smack down of Tony was awesome (although I don’t get why she was so miffed at him). Her playing Spider-Mom, and more poignantly dejectedly owning it, was hilarious. Her sense of exhaustion is relatable whether you’ve been a parent or just been around them. It very much taps into Conway’s characterization of MJ as a juggler

Houser’s Annie also shines. She is believably an older version of the kid Annie we once knew but also stands firmly as her own person. She’s somewhat embarrassed by her Dad and wants greater independence. She loves being a superhero, but is (also in contrast to Mayday) a more of a punch first think later kind of gal with a dash of overconfidence.

She is untrustworthy of the Lizard and more gung ho, whilst MJ and especially Peter (to my delight) are both more reigned in and trusting.

This is nicely explored in the family’s single page descent underground where Houser gives Peter a really great speech about what it means for Annie to accept the great responsibility of the mask, that it might mean trusting those who are not trustworthy for the sake of others. This serves to nicely develop Annie as its her Dad treating her as more of an adult for the first time. the fact that it’s her Dad, the iconic hero Spider-Man conveying this wisedom onto her is very fitting and helps further legitimize Annie as a Spider-Hero to the readers of RYV and legitimize the new teen version to those jumping aboard at this point.

Not to be outdone, MJ an issue earlier got a wonderful piece of dialogue about how in spite of how their lives might be messed up by being heroes she and her family will still endeavour to make plans and live normal lives. Which is both a wonderfully inspiring heroic statement but also so very true to who she and Peter are as people.

Some other small points:

I saw Carrion amidst Sinister’s menagerie

The underground nature of the story’s conclusion nicely evokes the first arc by Conway

Overall Houser sells/sold you on the new dynamic with this arc as much as I preferred the older one and wish they hadn’t changed.

B+

#RYV Thoughts #Jody Houser #Nick Roche #Annie May Parker #Spiderling #spinneret #renew your vows #Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #mary jane watson #Mary jane watson Parker #MJ Watson #mjwatsonedit #Spider-Man #Peter Parker

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jordynbecominganally · 5 years

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A Reflective Writing on the movie “In the Land of the Deaf”

In the Land of the Deaf directed by Nicolas Philibert depicts the education of the Deaf in France in its rawest form. Philibert displays an array of clips that demonstrate the heart wrenching and distressing nature of the education of the Deaf. Although this film is set in France in 1990’s, the various modes of oral education and the prevalent themes of isolation, lack of accessibility and audism are still a universal experience for an appalling number of Deaf people worldwide. Therefore, Nicholas Philibert’s goal for this documentary was “to let those people about whom we know nothing speak for themselves” (Philibert, 1991). The many individuals featured in this film share their various stories and experiences with deaf-hood. Philibert showcases a diverse assortment of culture, age and religion, but this does not diminish from the overall theme of oppression and audism that these individuals have faced throughout the many stages of their lives. The Deaf adolescence in this film are forced to participate in the “Oralist method” of education which demands the focus to be on speaking and lip reading. Prior to watching this film, I was unaware of the severity of the negative feedback and public humiliation the young children are forced to endure while attending their place of education. The alarming nature of these teacher- student interactions has left me curious as to the differences or similarities of Deaf education in present day Canada and France in the 1990’s. The oralist method of education strongly discourages the use of any form of signed language in the class room or at home. This lack of signed language leaves many of the young children without any language at all, causing a broad sense of isolation that is not only evident in the classroom but also their home lives. Throughout this film, the liveliest interactions occur between Deaf person to Deaf person a few examples of this are; in the lunch room of the elementary school, the young deaf couples wedding reception and the group of elderly Deaf Mitchell 3 of 6 people’s poker game. This creates a prominent juxtaposition when compared to the segregation displayed between the Deaf individuals and their hearing family members or teachers. The hearing people in this film (with few exceptions) are forcing the Deaf community to struggle with an impossible language barrier instead of attempting to bridge the gap using alternative methods of communication or sign language. This is not only something I have noticed in this film but also something I have witnessed in my own life. I have many Deaf friends, and only one person has family members who have learned sign language to communicate with them. I must constantly remind myself that it is not my place to judge others on how they parent their child, but this never ceases to appall me, simply because American Sign Language in the first and only language that many of my friends use. I cannot comprehend how difficult it may be to create parent-child relationship without communication, which based of my observation is the main source of my friend's resentment or even avoidance of their parents. With my personal accounts in consideration I cannot help but to wonder what the relationship between the children in this film and their parents is like nearly thirty years after production. Society does not treat Deaf peoples as equals. They are forced to learn languages unnatural to them, considered handicapped and have had to fight for their rights for centuries. These labels and assumptions that hearing people have associated with the Deaf community have caused an incredible number of negative repercussions. It has created a world where the Deaf struggle to obtain jobs and when they do, they are less glamorous then their peers. In this film there is an example of this with two young women and a young man who are shown working in a dingy factory with a supervisor who refuses to adequately communicate with them. The hearing world has even been known to lock up the Deaf in asylums as described in a personal account by a Deaf woman in this movie. Mitchell 4 of 6 This documentary advertises no shortage of morally questionable or dismaying content, but in between the tears there are moments of happiness and joy. These moments occur during a break from the oppression when the protagonists are surrounded by other Deaf people who appreciate their Deaf identity, this time has also been referred to as “Deaf Fix” (N. Horton, 2018). Viewers are able to witness the birth of a Deaf couples first baby and the laughter of the elderly as they play card games. These are only a few examples of the compassion and warmth which are depicted in the positive moments of this film. The bond formed between the Deaf community is prevalent during the departures, a strong example of this is when a group of teenagers are filmed crying in the airport at the end of their vacation together. This same bond is demonstrated at the reunions, exhibited at the young Deaf couples wedding when a table full of people using sign language are happily catching up. In addition to “Deaf Fix” there is an abundance of Deaf Culture throughout this film. consoling one another, looking to each other for help, preferring to be around other Deaf people and refusing to accommodate those who will not accommodate them are just a few of the many examples of Deaf cultural norms. Although there are many examples of Deaf culture present, one important aspect of Deaf culture that is missing is representation of Deaf role models for the children to look up to, this is an important aspect of Deaf culture that strongly impacts the children's sense of cultural identity. I have personally witnessed many aspects of Deaf culture, but unfortunately also the lack of Deaf role models for the younger generation of Deaf youth. I have had many conversations about the identity crises that people I know, due to having nobody to look up too, may it be because they grew up in a small town and there was no Deaf community around or that they were hidden away from Deaf culture due to their parent’s choices and beliefs. Now that my friends are older and have found themselves and their community, I Mitchell 5 of 6 have the pleasure of witnessing their “Deaf Fix”, the laughing and teasing at the lunch table, the joy at Deaf events and the never-ending supply of role models. I believe that In the Land of the Deaf will affect my future as an ally by adding clarity to the image of oppression I have developed in my brain. In the brief time I have been surrounded by the deaf community I have recognized many small and a few large acts of audism, however I have never had the ability to look at situations that occur globally or in the classroom. It is important to know what oppression of the Deaf looks like in different countries and how it relates or differs from your own place of residence, this will help you not only be an ally to your local Deaf community but also internationally. Globally or locally, children are the future of this world, one day they will be the doctors, lawyers and world leaders. They are young, impressionable and vulnerable and normally society and even more specifically loved ones will do almost anything to protect them from harm. This film really shows that for the most part that is not the case when it comes to Deaf children. These children are publicly ridiculed, punished, forced to grow up without language, talked down to and manhandled. This realization is astonishing and hits very close to my heart because my lifelong dream has been to work with children. I believe it is necessary to make realizations like this one and I'm sure it is going to be the first of many in my lifelong journey to becoming an ally.

#blogposts

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ladydwarfbadari · 6 years

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Terra Adaar: Character Profile

I’ve mucked around a bit in the Hinterlands with her now, so I figured I might as well try to nail down her personality a bit. I’ll probably end up editing this to add stuff to it later.

History:

Terra is the daughter of two Tal-Vashoth mercenaries. Her parents both left the Qun to avoid being split apart after their friendship deepened far beyond what the Qun would ever allow. Neither of them were in particularly important positions and were both still quite young, so efforts by their handlers to reclaim or eliminate them were halfhearted and easy to dodge. They ended up in the Free Marches and bounced around cities as the work took them different places, and occasionally strayed into Orlais, Antiva, Nevarra, and Ferelden. Things got a little more complicated when Terra was born, as dragging a small child about isn’t really conducive to mercenary work, and for a while her mother stayed with a couple of farmers outside of Starkhaven and earned her keep doing work around the farm for several years, while her mate continued as a merc, coming and going. Terra saw her father only sporadically as a result, but was always pleased with the souvenirs he brought back for her. It’s also how Terra learned to shoe a horse and what herbs would deter locusts from crops, not that she ever had much cause to do either.

Terra’s mother returned to work as a mercenary when Terra was nine years old, leaving her in the care of the farmers. By the age of thirteen, she’d grown bored of the agrarian life and decided to follow her parents and take up work as a mercenary, bouncing around between companies as work was available. Turns out it’s pretty easy to lie about your age when you’re already over six feet tall. She had a bit of a rocky start at first, having no actual combat skills, but a few of the older mercs took pity on the clumsy teenager and taught her how to actually use a sword and shield.

By the age of seventeen, Terra was a seasoned fighter, and took up with the Valo-Kas. She takes her work seriously, but also genuinely enjoys it. She’s never had a permanent home, but finds the freedom that comes with her profession to be quite satisfying.

Terra is 27 at the beginning of Inquisition.

Personality/orientations:

Terra Adaar is in essence a practical, no-frills sort of personality. She enjoys the simple things in life - good company, good food, good drink, and the jangle of coin in her purse. She’s not greedy or particularly ambitious; she’s happy taking care of her own needs and living each day for its own sake. She holds to no particular creed, certainly not the Qun, and certainly not the Chantry’s. She tends to take life at face value.

She gets along with people provided they respect her and don’t waste her time. She doesn’t have a great deal of patience for anything she considers to be games or nonsense. She’s not the sort to revel in violence for its own sake, but she’s not going to cry over having to cut down someone who’s got it coming, either.

She’s fairly open-minded, tending to view things as they come and making her own mind up, but she’s not particularly sentimental.

She’s pansexual and has had various partners over the years, although few of them ended up being serious relationships. She’ll befriend and have sex with men but has never had anything like a committed relationship with a man. She’s had two of what she would have called commited relationships, one with an elven girl she met as a teenager in her first mercenary band, which ended in a quarrel over something that, in hindsight, was rather petty, and the second with another Tal-Vashoth, a former Saarebas, which ended when half the company was wiped out during an escort job. Terra was badly wounded as well, and took months to recover. She hasn’t gotten involved with anyone that deeply since, until she meets Sera and starts a relationship with her. (Terra flirted with Vivienne until it was obvious the Enchanter wasn’t going to bite, and ended up having a roll in the hay with Blackwall a few times before getting involved with Sera. She might have had a few more after, if Sera’s reaction to an impulsive suggestion one night after a few drinks of a threesome hadn’t been “What, with Beardy? I like him as a friend, not like... bleurch! No boys allowed, sorry!”)

Relationships:

With the Inquisition, she gets along well enough with everyone, even though some of them she finds a bit irritating or challenging at times.

Solas and Cole are both infuriatingly cryptic at times, and while she appreciates both of them for their skills, she also often finds herself getting a headache in their presence.

She appreciates Leliana and Cullen although she is not particularly close to either of them. She likes Josephine, although sometimes she thinks Josie wastes a bit too much time trying to please everyone and that the Inquisition would be better served by cracking a few skulls and getting on with it now and then.

She surprisingly gets along fairly well with Vivienne. They don’t always agree, but Vivienne is someone she can understand - she’s not fooled in the least and knows Vivienne greatly desires the Sunburst throne, but Terra doesn’t exactly disapprove of the woman’s ambitions. Vivienne doesn’t come out and say precisely what she’s had to do to gain the position she’s in, but Terra knows she’s worked hard, despite putting up a front of effortlessness, there’s no way for a mage in southern Thedas to get anywhere without effort, after all. If Vivienne weren’t obviously uninterested, Terra might have tried to pursue a relationship with her.

Cassandra confuses her a bit - she is also a candidate for the Sunburst throne but compared to Vivienne, Cassandra is rather ambivalent about it, almost resigned as one might to be to one’s own execution. Terra considers Cassandra a friend after a time, and has a lot of respect for her skill and wisdom, but a lot of Cassandra’s self-doubt and second-guessing is something Terra doesn’t understand. The fact that Terra is not religious in the least is largely the source of this disconnect, and there are many aspects of Cassandra’s struggles she’ll probably never really get. (Cass is someone else she was instantly attracted to, but even without asking, she kind of knew that was barking up the wrong tree).

Terra spends free time in the tavern with the Iron Bull, Varric and Dorian Pavus, and thoroughly enjoys their company, and appreciates their humor. It takes a while for Varric to get past the “Herald” thing but eventually she manages to take the shine off enough to get him to loosen up, and makes a point of dragging them all together for cards whenever they have a moment of peace at Skyhold.

Blackwall is a bit of a mystery to her at first - much like Cassandra, he always holds himself just a bit separate from everyone else. He’s clearly hurting from something, and at first she finds him a bit of a drag, to be honest. She spends more time with him though and discovers he actually has a sense of humor under all that gruff Duty and Sacrifice talk. Finding out his past and the truth behind who he really is annoys the piss out of her, but she ultimately pardons him and lets him go about the business of redeeming himself in whatever way he sees fit. She’s not especially judgmental, having done some sketchy shit of her own (not quite as bad as what he did, mind, but she’s taken jobs as a merc that she later regretted).

With Sera, there’s mutual attraction between them from the beginning. Sera reminds Terra a bit of her first girlfriend, particularly her mischievous smile. She enjoys Sera’s sense of humor and finds her a bright spot during the war with Corypheus, and is glad for Sera’s pranks to distract her from some of the doom and gloom that’s surrounding them. Sera id who reminds her what she’s fighting for - the world needs to be made safe again so people can enjoy their lives. You only go around once, in the end, might as well have a bit of fun, right?

Colors: Steel gray, earth tones

Song: [tbd]

#long post #look at my oc's #dragon age

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lucids · 3 years

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5 Ways To Help Yourself Heal Naturally. How do you heal your body? When we are injured or sick, there is a lot we can do on our own to help improve our body's ability to heal.

1. Sleep

2. Drink More Water

3. Eat Nutrient Dense Foods

4. Be Positive

5. Exercise Routinely

Be smart, sleep enough, stay hydrated, eat well, be positive and exercise and not only will you feel better sooner, but you may just keep sickness at bay!

Did you know that there are things that you can do to help your body heal itself? It’s true! Even with the best of medical advice and intervention, these 5 things will help that medicine work even better. Oh and by the way, none of these should really be a surprise!

When we are injured or sick, there is a lot we can do on our own to help improve our body’s ability to heal. These tips are practical and easy to implement. Studies have shown that these simple changes will have a huge impact on your health!

1. Sleep The health benefits of sleep are well established, however, we frequently “get by” on very little sleep. The National Institutes of Health recommend 9-10 hours a day for teenagers and 7-8 hours a day for adults. Getting the proper amount of sleep will not only help the body to heal but will also allow it to function efficiently. Lack of sleep has been linked to an increased risk of injury. Studies have shown the time taken to reach physical exhaustion by athletes who obtain anything less than eight hours of sleep, and especially less than six hours, drops by 10-30%. Sleep deprivation is also linked to mental and physical health problems. One study found that adults aged 45 years or older who slept less than 6 hours a night were 200% more likely to suffer a heart attack or stroke in their lifetime.

2. Drink More Water When your body does not get enough water, it enters a state of dehydration which can lead to slower healing and increased fatigue. Water plays a large role in delivering nutrients and oxygen to cells in the body as well as providing protection for the body’s organs and tissues. It eliminates waste, improves immunity and increases lubrication around our joints. There are many conflicting sources regarding how much water you should drink. A simple formula is to drink ½ your weight in ounces. For example, a 150-pound person should drink 75 ounces of water. You should increase this amount if you are exercising or in the heat for prolonged periods. Keep a water bottle next to you at home or at work so you always have it available.

3. Eat Nutrient Dense Foods The definition of nutrient density is the nutritional quality of the food divided by its caloric density. High nutrient dense foods are rich in micronutrients such as vitamins and minerals, and macronutrients like proteins, carbohydrates, and fats. Foods that have the highest nutrient density include leafy greens such as kale and spinach and vegetables including broccoli, peas, beets, onions, and peppers. The foods with the lowest nutrient density include fried foods and deserts. A few simple ways to ensure you are eating the right foods include eating foods that represent the colors of the rainbow, eat foods closest to their natural state, and always keep a good assortment of fresh foods in the house.

4. Be Positive This is often easier said than done, especially when you are in pain. When you shift your thoughts to the more positive aspects of your life, you can actually change the way your body responds to pain. Positive thinking can be defined as focusing on what is good about yourself, other people, and the world around you. Some ways to improve your positive thinking include choosing words with a more positive connotation as this starts to change the way you think about your situation, exercise regularly, surround yourself with positive people, and seek out positive experiences and laughter. Studies have shown that moods are contagious so surrounding yourself with positivity will help you to feel better. Often, the only thing we can change is our attitude towards a situation. Thinking positively can make you well.

5. Exercise Routinely Regular exercise is essential to both your mental and physical health. Exercise improves your energy by delivering oxygen and nutrients to your tissues and improves your ability to sleep. It also helps to improve your overall mood by stimulating various chemicals in the brain that help you to feel more relaxed and happier. When starting an exercise routine, it is important to start slowly. Your physical therapist is a great resource for helping you to outline an appropriate exercise routine.

Be smart, sleep enough, stay hydrated, eat well, be positive and exercise and not only will you feel better sooner, but you may just keep sickness ay bay!

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rxbxlcaptain · 7 years

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Summer Away

Happy Birthday, @finns-roses!!

A while ago, after learning that we shared a love for horses, we discussed an AU in which Cassian’s family owned a ranch that Jyn visited for the summer. As a birthday present, I did my best to expand our discussed headcanons into a full fic. I hope I did it justice, my dear, and I hope you enjoy!!

AO3

If Jyn gained nothing from these two weeks, at least she’d have the landscape to enjoy. An hour outside out of the city and into the Arizona wilderness had its perks; mountains dotted the landscape towards the West, the tallest peaks dusted with snow, and to the East ran the Little Colorado River, which pooled into a lake on the property where Jyn now stood. Thanks to lake, small clumps of trees – real trees, not the cacti they had in the southern half of the state – littered the grounds.

It was, without question, strikingly beautiful.

“It’s just for a few weeks, Stardust.” Her father closed his door of the car and stood in front of her, resting his hands on her shoulders. “And then I’ll be home and you’ll be right there with me.”

Jyn nodded, determined to keep all signs of dissatisfaction with this arrangement off her face. Her father had been offered a chance to continue his physics research with scientists at CERN, the largest facility for particle research in the world, outside of Geneva. It was an opportunity Galen would be hard pressed to deny – in fact, it was an honor he had been working towards for years – but, knowing how much time he would spend in the lab, he worried taking Jyn to a country whose language she didn’t speak and culture she didn’t know would be dangerous, especially considering Jyn’s knack for finding trouble wherever she went.

So Galen had found another alternative for Jyn’s summer vacation: a family-owned ranch designed to give city kids a way to experience life working off the land. Wake at 5:30 in the morning, pastures of horses surrounding the place, work so hard you fall into bed exhausted at the end of the day. Or, at least, that’s the image Jyn had of the place.

Jyn wasn’t opposed the idea. Jyn enjoyed the outdoors, hiking and stargazing and the like; she had even gone through a serious horse phase as a child, but for eight years now, ever since Jyn’s mother had died before Jyn’s eighth birthday, her life had been centered around her Papa: she’d spent her days after school alongside him in the lab and her evenings curled up near him as they both read, her whatever book was currently assigned by her English teacher and him the newest publications in physics research. They were each other’s rock, the most important part of their lives, but, as Jyn grew older (college was only a few years away now), Galen worried perhaps he was too much a part of his daughter’s life, that perhaps he was stunting her growth by keeping her drawn to his side.

Hence the summer of separation, him to flying off to his work and her exploring who she was without her father to define her.

“That’s something you’ll be able to see here, you know,” Galen noted when Jyn didn’t reply, his eyes scanning the clear sky.

“See what, Papa?”

“The stars. Real ones, whole galaxies covering the night skies.” He smiled down at her. “Not the few we can see in the city.”

“They’ll make me think of you,” she assured him with a smile. (It did not wobble. It did not.)

“Oh, Stardust,” Galen said with a sad smile, “everything will make me think of you.”

A lump in her throat choked her next words, so Jyn threw her arms around her father’s neck instead, burying her face into the collar of his shirt, inhaling the scent of coffee and old books that clung there. Hugging her back tightly, Galen kissed the top of her head.

Jyn pulled away as someone called a hello from the porch of the property’s main cabin. A woman, a few years older than Galen, approached them, a boy, clearly her son, following a few steps behind.

“I’m Renata Andor, the property’s manager,” the woman greeted, a little bit breathless, as she reached them, extending her hand. Indicating the boy who followed her, she said, “And this is my youngest son, Cassian.”

“Jyn Erso.” She tried to smile (she really did) as she shook the woman’s hand and nodded to the boy. Up close, Jyn determined he was about her age, perhaps a bit older.

“And I’m her father, Galen,” Papa said next as he too took her hand.

“A pleasure to meet you both,” she told them, her smile stretched just a little bit too tight. “Cassian, why don’t you help Jyn take her bags inside, show her the girl’s cabin? I’ll give Mr. Erso a quick tour of the land.”

Cassian nodded, pulling the first of Jyn’s bags out of the open trunk. She yanked the second one onto her shoulder before he could reach for it, determined to show him she did know how to work for herself. His hand hesitated midair for a moment before he chuckled. Jyn stayed quiet as they trekked to the first of two cabins past the main house.

Cassian broke the silence first. “City girl, huh?”

Jyn gave the boy what her mother would have called call “a look.” The sarcastic, eyebrows-to-the-sky, “Do I look like I care what you’re saying?” kind of look Jyn had perfected before she’d started kindergarten.

“Your boots are clean,” he shrugged, by way of explanation. They were, Jyn had to admit. The only form of boots she’d owned before this summer were wore out hiking boots that had covered the trails over South Mountain countless times over the years. Galen had bought new boots – real work boots, not the glittery kind of cowboy boots girls wore to country music festivals – for her a few weeks before. “I hope you didn’t spend too much money on them, because they won’t be clean by the end of the first week.”

“I’m not that delicate,” she shot at him. “I can handle a bit of mud.”

“Good.” As they neared the house, he asked, “Where are you from?”

“Phoenix.”

“Also good,” he grinned. “You know how to survive the heat.”

“Yeah,” Jyn agreed as he opened the door to the cabin, wiping his shoes off (those, Jyn noted, were covered in mud and noticeably not new) and ushering her in before him. “It’s called air conditioning.”

“I hope you’ll settle for cold water and some shade,” he told her with a half a grin, “because that’s the best you’ll get out here.”

Cassian left her alone to unpack after leaving her with some basic instructions. A packet waited on the bed labeled with her name, he told her, with a schedule and a map of the grounds; other campers would be arriving within the next few hours; she was free to explore until dinner, which would be served up in the main house, but he warned her to be careful around the animals until she got to know them. Jyn gave a quick goodbye to her father – knowing him, he’d delayed packing for his trip to Switzerland, and his plane left in a little under twenty-four hours, so he needed to return home soon – and flopped back onto her bed. (She’d been assigned a top bunk but, given how many sore muscles she expected to nurse over her time here, Jyn had considered it ideal to swap her assignment before her bunkmate arrived. None of the other girls milling around noted the switch.)

She met the other Andors at dinner: Estrella, the oldest and the only daughter, had taken charge of the kitchen by ordering the next oldest, Lucas, to carry the trays of completed food to each of the three long tables that filled the dining room. Cassian and his closest brother, Carlos, stumbled in the doorway at exactly six P.M., pointing at the clock and insisting to their sister they were, in fact, on time. She’d merely rolled her eyes before reminding them if they smelled of the barn (and they did bear the unfortunate marks of spending the last few hours surrounded by the horses), they would eat in the barn.

A chaotic stream of bickering reigned over the siblings until their mother walked through the door. Instantly, as if Estrella had not been waving her finger in her Lucas’s face a moment before, all the Andor siblings fell into an efficient assembly line, producing trays of steamed vegetables and rice and various forms of meat to stack upon the tables.

Mrs. Andor, whose curly hair had slowly escaped its neat bun over the day, leaving wasps of hair hanging over her temples, let out a large exhale seeing dinner prepared. Estrella rubbed a hand over her mother’s back as Cassian pressed a kiss to her temple.

Jyn, who was sitting between the girls who slept in the bunks beside her, Leia from northern Colorado and Shara from southern California, seemed to be the only one who noticed the familial exchange, most of the other campers absorbed in creating tentative friendships with the people they’d be sharing their bunks with for the next few weeks. Jyn thought she gained an important insight from her observations, however: while the city kids came to the camp to experience a few weeks away and perhaps to show off the new, fancy shoes they would rarely ever wear again, the Andors lived this life day in and day out. They ran a business, balancing keeping a horde of teenagers safe from livestock and themselves, as well as kept a ranch operating. Neither of which were an easy feat, but, combined, Jyn imagined it gave birth to extreme stress levels for all members of the family.

Regardless, Mrs. Andor greeted the campers, about 50 in all, who ranged in age from ten to eighteen, with a warm smile on her face. Each of the Andor children introduced themselves as well, and explained which part of daily activities they would oversee. Estrella ensured the campers completed their daily shores; Lucas led treks down to the river or to the mountains; Carlos and Cassian were in charge of the animals on the ranch (horses and cattle and pigs, oh my, Jyn thought with a smirk) and teaching the campers the proper ways to interact and care for them.

The campers were sent back to their cabins after dinner, with a suggestion from the Andors to take advantage of the early night; wakeup call would be early for their stay and they should enjoy the rest while they could. And, indeed, as the first fingers of sunlight danced over the colorful landscape, Mrs. Andor flipped the overhead light on in the girl’s cabin, calling them all to breakfast.

Jyn groaned, stuffing her face further into the pillow. She was much more of a night owl by nature.

“Up, up!” Leia ordered, her ever present smile clear in her voice as she poked at Jyn’s shoulder. “We gotta go get breakfast!”

Apparently she had no problem with mornings.

Jyn had just rubbed the sleep out of her eyes as she and Leia headed for the stables and their first lesson with the horses. (The Andors didn’t serve coffee to the campers, Jyn discovered. Reasonable, considering how young some of the campers were, but Jyn inherited both her parents borderline addiction to the substance and the summer suddenly darkened without the presence of coffee in her mornings.)

Cassian stood by the fence of the paddock, rubbing the nose of a steel grey mustang as the group approached. He nodded to the group, still focused on the animal in front of him, until of the boys leaned towards the fence.

“Don’t touch it!” He warned, his voice sharp with urgency. The boy drew his hand back quickly, slightly abashed but confused. Cassian turned to the whole group. “The fences are all electrocuted to keep the animals in. Otherwise, the feisty ones like this one—“ he jerked his head to indicate the mustang “—would undoubtedly try to escape. Best to keep your fingers away from it.”

Beckoning them forward, he led them into the barn, pulling one of the older mares out of her stall and into the aisle.

“Before we can teach you to ride them, you have to learn to care for them. Here,” he pulled out a box of grooming supplies and showed the campers how to use the different brushes. After dividing them into groups of four and distributing brushes, Cassian walked three more horses into the crossties of the grooming stalls and had them copy what he’d just done.

“You’ve done this before,” he said over Jyn’s shoulder as he watched her rub a curling comb in small circles over the withers of a chestnut mare.

Jyn nodded. “My mother rode horses as a child and signed me up for lessons when I was younger. It’s been years, though.” She shrugged as the images of hours spent in a barn like this one filtered through her mind. Years had faded the memories, but the smile on her mother’s face as Jyn had warmed to the animals stood out to her.

Those memories, she thought, were half the reason her father had decided on sending Jyn here for the summer. A connection back to her mother, a gentle reminder that, though Lyra was gone from their lives, she stayed with them.

“Not bad for a city girl,” Cassian smiled. “But I’ll bet you road English, not Western.”

Jyn shrugged. “I had to leave something for you to teach me.”

The difference between the two disciplines, Jyn learned quickly, was vast. English saddles and bridles were more structured, built for elegance and show. Western tack was looser, designed by those who valued practicality and hours of hard labor. Jyn figured it wouldn’t be too difficult to transfer her knowledge of one to the other, but, with how Cassian teased her technique of tacking the horse, no such transfer was guaranteed.

Her riding lessons were years ago, she told Cassian the first time he assured her lessons would be a breeze for her, and she barely remembered anything she’d learned. Muscle memory, he assured her right back, was a powerful thing and she shouldn’t be so quick to doubt herself.

(When she was able to smoothly trot around the arena without nearly bouncing out of the saddle long before the other campers, he didn’t resist giving her an expression that read “I told you so.”)

Every day, Jyn found herself looking forward to her time in the barn with the horses. Call it nostalgia or perhaps her skill with the horses, but Jyn’s day brightened as she entered the barn and, on days when she didn’t have assigned tasks with the horses, found herself spending her free time with Cassian.

“How come you don’t share your gelding with the others?” Jyn asked him one day, leaning against the stall door as he groomed the steel grey mustang named Kay-too (a name a young Cassian had appointed for it, since the horse reminded him of Kay, his father’s mount with similar coloring).

“You’re more than welcome to try,” Cassian told her, “but even Carlos can’t ride this one. He’s too skittish around most people.” Cassian rubbed the horse’s neck, just behind his ear, and Kay relaxed under his touch. “We rescued him, so he probably had some bad experiences before he came here, isn’t very trusting now. My father was about ready to sell him when I started riding him.”

“Or you’ve specifically trained him to react that way to the strangers wandering around so you have one that’s all your own,” Jyn ventured, her tone teasing.

Cassian laughed in response, putting a finger to his lips. “Don’t tell my mother.”

The conversation descended into silence, Cassian’s brush and the other horses shuffling in their stalls the only sounds in the barn.

“My brother and I ride out to go check on the cattle at the end of the day,” Cassian blurted out after a minute. “You should join us.”

Jyn raised her eyebrows at him. “Is that allowed?”

“Not normally, but you ride better than the others,” Cassian shrugged, picking up one hoof to scrape out the dirt. “I’ll make an exception.”

“Hey, as long as it doesn’t interfere with dinner, I’m on board.” She and Cassian exchanged a smile and decided on a time to meet.

Carlos waved as she joined them that evening. “You’re finally joining us,” he remarked. “I mean, you’ve been here, what, two weeks already? I’m surprised it took my brother this long to scrape up the courage.”

Jyn was just about to ask what he meant – Cassian had no idea she could even ride when she’d arrived two weeks ago – but Cassian appeared then, insisting Jyn needed to tack her horse or they’d fall behind schedule. She didn’t miss the significant look passed between the two brothers as Cassian ushered her away.

“I bet this is beautiful as the sun sets,” Jyn said as they trotted towards the cattle. She pointed out towards the mountains, their snowy tips already glowing as the sun moved lower in the sky. “I can’t see them from my cabin.”

“Lucas will take you on a hike at sunset at some point,” Cassian assured her. “There’s a pit for a bonfire about there.” He pointed at a spot part way up one of the mountain trails. “It’s normally everyone’s favorite, seeing the entire ranch all lit up.” His voice sounded reverent, in awe of the beauty his home had.

“How long have you guys owned this place?” Jyn asked.

“Our parents bought it right after they got married,” Lucas said, “a million years ago or whenever that was.”

“We’ve only opened the camp a few years ago to bring in extra money after our dad died,” Cassian explained.

“Yeah, to keep that guy Krennic off or backs.” Lucas rolled his eyes.

“Krennic?” Jyn asked Cassian.

“Rich guy who bought the next property over. He really wanted this one, too.”

“Never understood why,” Lucas said, his voice distracted as he looked out over the herd. “Doesn’t do anything legitimate with his land. Just kinda keeps it for the hell of it.”

“Mom was tempted to sell this place for a bit,” Cassian told her. “It’s worth a lot more money now than when she and dad bought it. But we were all born and raised here and, well,” he shrugged as his voice got tighter, “it’s our last piece of dad. No one wanted to sell it, so Estrella came up with a plan to build this.”

Jyn hummed her understanding. That explained the kind of stress the Andors went through to keep this place alive and the guests returning. Jyn thought of the last piece she had of her mother – a crystal pendant she wore around her neck at all times – and then pictured selling it. She shivered at the thought.

“Must be weird, though, having stranger come and invade your family’s home.”

Cassian smiled at her. “I’ve enjoyed this summer.”

Jyn had the honor of meeting Orson Krennic herself a few days later when the man stopped by for what Cassian sarcastically referred to as a “neighborly chat.”

“All his visits do is stress out my mother,” Cassian complained when he appeared just after breakfast and Jyn could see why. The man was pompous, that much was clear, even from a distance. He held himself like he stood taller than he was and wore a loose, white shirt stolen directly from the set of an old western (“Who wears white to a ranch, anyway?” Cassian sneered, and Jyn couldn’t help up agree). His hair was too neatly combed and his hands too soft to have ever spent a day doing manual labor in his life. The entire Andor family was on edge while he was on the property.

“Come on,” Cassian suggested as the sun started to set over Krennic’s visit. “Let’s get out of here for a bit.”

Cassian led her along the river in a different direction than they traditionally hiked. A jagged rock formation jutted out from the shores of the river. Hidden in the middle was a flat rock surrounded by high sides, creating a natural seat the terrain.

“This was my spot when I was a kid,” Cassian told her. “Whenever I had a fight with one of my siblings, my parents knew to find me here.”

“It’s relaxing,” Jyn said, leaning back against the rock. The shaded air between the rocks was vastly cooler than the air outside and the bubbling river created wonderful background noise.

“I’m glad you think so,” Cassian said, settling next to Jyn. Their elbows knocked and their fingers brushed. For a moment, neither of them moved, before Jyn moved her hand over his, interlocking their fingers.

“You’re leaving soon,” Cassian noted, his thumb brushing over Jyn’s knuckles.

Jyn nodded. “Just a few days.”

“I’m glad you came this summer, but I’ll miss you when you leave.”

Glancing over at him, Jyn felt a tug on her heartstrings. Cassian had made the summer so much less lonely than she had imagined, given her someone to connect to while she was so far away from her father. “I’ll miss you too, Cassian.”

His eyes flickered between her eyes and her lips for a moment. He hesitated just a moment too long, because as soon as his head began to move in, a noise startled them backwards.

“Cassian!” Lucas shouted, his voice echoing between the rocks. Jyn and Cassian scrambling onto higher ground to find Lucas. “Come on,” he waved when they came into view, seeming unsurprised to find Jyn alongside his brother. “Mom’s going to notice if you’re missing from dinner.”

Three days later, Jyn’s bags were packed and sitting outside her cabin’s door, ready whenever Papa arrived to drive her back to Phoenix. She’d barely seen Cassian over the last few days, though whether that was because of any lingering awkwardness over their encounter – maybe he’d gone over all the reasons why kissing a girl who’d be leaving in the next few days was a bad idea and decided to let her down gently – or because he was busy with his duties on the ranch, Jyn wasn’t certain.

She’d resigned herself to never learning one way or the other as she spotted her father’s car driving along the long entrance road to the property when she heard her name called out. She turned and found Cassian, slightly breathless and still smelling of the barn, running her direction.

“I couldn’t let you leave just yet,” he told her, grabbing hold of her shoulders lightly.

“Oh really?” Jyn asked, her tone bordering on sarcastic. “And just when will I be free to go?”

“After I’ve done this,” he said and pressed his lips against hers, one hand coming up to frame her face. He pulled back after a moment, his eyes still closed, resting his forehead against hers. “But I’ll miss you.”

“If you ever miss me too much,” Jyn said, pulling a piece of paper out of her pocket and stuffing it into his hand. When she’d writing the note, Jyn worried she might have been following too much of the script of a romantic comedy, but she was glad she had it now. “Give me a call sometime.”

“I’ll do that,” he promised her, pocketing the paper. He glanced over her shoulder. “But, for now…”

“I suppose it’s goodbye for now, Cassian Andor.”

“Goodbye, Jyn Erso.”

She hefted her bag onto her shoulder, flashing back to when she’d been so reluctant to follow Cassian at the beginning of the summer. Who would have guessed she’d find it so difficult to walk away at the end of it?

“Hello, Papa,” she greeted, throwing her arms around his neck in a hug. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” He held her close for a moment, before pulling back with a twinkle in his eye. He looked over to where Cassian stood waving before saying, “I take it that means you had a good summer, Stardust.” Galen barely contained the laughter in his voice as she dropped her bags in the trunk.

Gazing around at the beautiful landscape one last time, her eyes lingering on the boy leaning against the front porch railing a moment longer, she smiled. “You could say that.”

#therebelcaptainnetwork #dailyrebelcaptain #happy birthday!!#I hope you enjoy!#finns-roses #rebelcaptain #au #modern au #kat writes #apologizing now for all the random jargon that appears in here #I should have attached an equestrian dictionary #may still go back and do that #tbh #tell me if it bothers you and I'll do that

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Four Loko, Joose, and Sparks: An Abridged History of Caffeinated Alcohol

Remembrances of Four Loko — the super-caffeinated, alcoholic energy drink available in every convenience store for a narrow window of time before intervention by the Food and Drug Administration at the end of the aughts — are their own genre of internet content.

It is, if there is such a thing, the internet’s beverage, even years after the demise of its original formula. “If you can remember your Four Loko experiences, it wasn’t a Four Loko experience,” comedian Kady Ruth recently tweeted, in response to a question from comedian Akilah Hughes asking for stories about the drink’s golden age. “Why tell, when you can show a photo series?” dancer and YouTuber Ava Gordy replied, attaching an image of herself surrounded by Four Loko cans and wearing a gas mask. Photos from Four Loko’s golden days are scattered around on Tumblr and Imgur, captured with the high-flash, red-eyed weirdness of disposable cameras and early iPhones.

In an oral history of Four Loko, published on Grub Street last summer, the team of Ohio State buddies who created it explained how the product went from a small production run in 2005 to a splashy New York City debut in 2009 to more than $100 million in revenue in 2010. In short: They made the cans tall and they gave them a neon camouflage print to make them stand out. Plus, they raised the alcohol level as high as they legally could for a malt beverage.

2010 sounds like such a long time ago that I was honestly surprised when one of the Gawker pieces about the moment mentioned the fact that Obama was president. I wasn’t old enough to drink or permitted to have more than one other person in my car at the time, but even I feel a bubbly sort of weakness in my chest reading a blog post about the founder of Ron Jon Surf Shops getting arrested for driving under the influence of Four Loko or a blog post about Chuck Schumer comparing Four Loko to “a plague” devastating the country.

Four Loko was beloved, and it is beloved in death. But why? What’s so great about caffeinated sugar-water full of booze, in a can, retailing for $2.50, other than the obvious? The drink is infamous, and maybe an important cultural moment, but it’s not unique. There were also micro-eras for the nearly identical drinks Sparks and Joose, and the vodka Red Bull got almost two decades. In fact, there’s a long history of people trying to showily ruin their nights or their lives with disgusting combinations of chemicals dreamed up for some business purpose that doesn’t especially concern them. Caffeine and alcohol shouldn’t mix, but they have always mixed.

“People are always looking for a way to get high,” William Rorabaug, a historian at the University of Washington, tells me. “Throughout history. It seems to be part of the human condition.”

The last super-boozy generation was the baby boomers, he explains, but their children got into a health kick — yoga, meditation, bicycles, running — mostly because they saw a lot of bad stuff happen to their parents and older siblings as a result of alcohol, and because they preferred marijuana. Mothers Against Drunk Driving got big in the 1980s, and heavy alcohol consumption dipped throughout the 1990s. It didn’t rise again until about 2003, he says, when “very sweet mixed drinks” that went down easy and would mess you up with sugar and alcohol at the time became more popular.

Philip Dobard, vice president of the National Food and Beverage Foundation, explains to me that the drinking age was lower when he was a teenager, which was in the 1970s, and that he really liked drinking Long Island iced teas. Though they’ve been rebranded as premium cocktails in recent years, Long Island iced teas used to be Diet Coke and the leftover dregs of various well spirits. “It was the vodka Red Bull of its day,” he reminisces. “It was high alcohol, not particularly high caffeine, but caffeine. It was a test of one’s humanity. A test of one’s mortality. You’re young and healthy and you’re not familiar with loss. Injuries, when they occur, quickly heal.”

“It was a test of one’s humanity. A test of one’s mortality. You’re young and healthy and you’re not familiar with loss. Injuries, when they occur, quickly heal.”

A current fact sheet from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention about mixing caffeine and alcohol states that it makes drinkers feel too alert (when they should feel sleepy and want to stop drinking or at least sit down and not risk “alcohol-attributable harms”). It also points out that “caffeine has no effect on the metabolism of alcohol by the liver ... (it does not ‘sober you up’) or reduce impairment due to alcohol consumption,” and some studies have found people who mix caffeine and alcohol are three times more likely to leave a bar while still heavily intoxicated and four time more likely to attempt to drive home.

But caffeinated alcohol and the type of high it provides is communal, Dobard notes. It’s almost charming, to want to strip yourself of inhibitions in the presence of people you like. “I don’t think that impulse is new,” Dobard adds. “I think the commercial forces are new.”

He’s right. The vodka Red Bull was invented in the late ’90s by none other than … Red Bull, which chased athletes in ski towns and the rave scene on the West Coast by giving cases of free energy drinks to bartenders, even paying them thousands of dollars to put it on the menu. The first mainstream alcohol and fortified caffeine beverage was an industry plant.

As Haley Hamilton noted in MEL’s recent oral history of the vodka Red Bull, combining alcohol with caffeine has a two-part effect: “The alcohol can dull the effects of the caffeine (boring), or more problematically, the caffeine can dull the effects of the alcohol, meaning you can drink way more than you normally would without feeling super-hammered.” Dobard is not personally familiar with Four Loko, but sympathizes with the plight of a generation that just wants to get as drunk as everyone else got to.

“There’s nothing inherently illicit about combining caffeine and alcohol,” he points out, adding that coffee liqueurs and coffee-based cocktails have been around for hundreds of years, commonly used as post-dinner digestifs. “The problem occurs when there’s so much of one or the other and it’s so available that it becomes easily and widely abused as a substance. That’s typically when government agencies step in and recognize it as a public health risk.”

(In 2010, the New York Times offered the following very funny, very ahistoric thought on the demand for Four Loko: “It has long vexed club-hoppers and partygoers: how do you stay awake while drinking alcohol late into the night? For years, alcohol and soda sufficed.” Imagine if we’d just cool-mom-blind-eyed everyone for choosing to drink gas station cocktails instead of doing cocaine!)

Gawker’s Hamilton Nolan commented on the persecution of Four Loko in 2010, writing that it was part of a “full-blown scapegoating operation,” and pointing out the obvious: “Isn’t the real issue here that kids are stupid?”

Caffeinated alcohol is a distinctly American flavor of stupid. We do it over and over.

That’s a fair question. Budweiser’s alcohol-and-caffeine drink BE was a hit in the United States in the early to mid-aughts but flopped immediately when tested overseas in 2006. Caffeinated alcohol is a distinctly American flavor of stupid. We do it over and over.

A can of Joose, which is 23.5 ounces, contains approximately 380 calories. (Compared to modern Four Loko, which is 660.) While both had 12 percent alcohol by volume and were fortified with caffeine, Joose had a few differentiating features, beyond the fact it was 40 cents cheaper and covered in skulls.

Sparks actually preceded both, and MillerCoors voluntarily removed the caffeine in 2008, before Four Loko even hit its stride. In the two years between its $215 million acquisition from the McKenzie River Corporation and this quiet surrender, Sparks had a 90 percent share of the “alcopop” market, which meant that with its death, Four Loko was primed to become an easy hit.

Today, even in the midst of the “wellness” boom, young people still post exuberantly about knocking back cans of Four Loko and making bad decisions, even though the caffeine has been removed and the current drink is no more dangerous than a wine cooler. In June 2016, long after Four Loko had been rereleased sans caffeine, the strange college journalism platform Odyssey Online published a guide to matching Four Loko flavors with your personality. “Gold Loko is a VERY IMPORTANT new flavor,” the possibly underage author wrote. “The people who drink these LOVE to live on the edge. They aren’t afraid of the challenge (of the added 2 percent alcohol volume).”

But it’s not special. None of it is special. I was a straitlaced high school soccer player during the Four Loko years, but I do remember, with a warm sort of disgust, the acrid taste of college ingenuity — tequila and blue Gatorade, whiskey and strawberry-kiwi Snapple, etc. There was no reason we couldn’t have chosen slightly less revolting combinations, except for the fact that it was kind of romantic not to. In 20 years, are you going to post throwback pics of a rum and Coke? It’s not shorthand for anything, and you would probably drink one now.

In November 2010, one of Four Loko’s creators, Chris Hunter, defended the drink vehemently to Fast Company, arguing that it had the same amount of caffeine as a Starbucks coffee, less alcohol than most craft beers, and less seductive packaging than a Bud Light Lime, and that dozens of other alcoholic beverages were available in the same 24-ounce cans. Asked about a widely publicized incident at Washington State University in which nine college students ended up hospitalized, with Four Loko cited throughout the police report, Hunter got even more defensive, telling reporter Austin Carr:

The police report showed there was supposedly illegal drugs at the party. That was mentioned about 14 times in the police report. There were multiple mentions of hard liquor, but there were only a few, maybe 2 to 3, mentions of Four Loko. It’s really unfair to say our drink was the cause of this.

The same month, his company reached a voluntary agreement with the New York State Liquor Authority to stop shipping Four Loko into the state, and the FDA issued a public warning about caffeine as an “unsafe additive” to alcoholic beverages, as well as private letters to four manufacturers — including Four Loko’s Phusion Projects — that stated, “[The] FDA is not aware of any publicly available data to establish affirmatively safe conditions of use for caffeine added directly to alcoholic beverages and packaged in a combined form.”

The FDA’s letter was sent to Charge Beverages Corporation (which made drinks called Core High Gravity HG Green and Core High Gravity HG Orange), New Century Brewing Company (which made the fortified beer Moonshot), and United Brands, which made Joose.

Jonathan Howland, a community health researcher at Boston University, told Science Daily just after the ban on Four Loko, “Although several manufacturers of caffeinated beer have withdrawn their products from the market, there is no sign that young people have decreased the practice of combining alcohol and energy drinks.”

There have been other gross party beverages meant to recapture the thrill of alcoholic energy drinks without drawing the same unwanted attention. Whipped Lightning, a combination of sugar, heavy cream, grain alcohol, and artificial flavoring had a brief heyday. Forty-proof chocolate milk did not quite. The super-cheap bottled sangria brand Capriccio had a moment, which the company leaned into, saying, “Believe the hype!” MEL’s Miles Klee recently sampled every flavor of a Mark Cuban-endorsed juice-box wine cooler called BeatBox, which has hideous, brightly colored marketing materials and a low price point, but concluded that its 11.1 percent alcohol content wasn’t really enough for anything other than an “unremarkable, if quietly pleasant weekend.”

In fact, even the FDA seems to be over the whole incident. When asked whether it would involve itself in the rise of alcohol-infused cold brew — such as those offered by the California-based Cafe Agave or the forthcoming offering from Skyy Vodka, announced March 15 — a spokesperson said the agency only considers products on a case-by-case basis, when action seems called for, and would have to get back to me.

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Source: https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/3/15/18265724/four-loko-history-joose-sparks-red-bull-vodka-caffeine

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