#its literally 3 am what am i doing
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suna underestimated you.
underestimated the power you had over him. see, he never considered himself down bad or whipped, but anything you wanted, he’d do whatever it take for you to get it. whether it would be to waste his entire wallet for a brand new wardrobe for you, or spending his whole life chasing after you. he’d do it all for you.
he recalls the days he’d spend, with you. whether it’d be walking around a children’s playground acting as if you’re 10 years old, or dancing together under the rain- not caring if you’d get sick or not.
because even if it were doing the most stupidest acts, the most silliest adventures, the dumbest talks, he did it all with you.
suna recalls his days before he met you, his world was all numb, dull, gray.
meeting you felt like- color. it felt like a child opening its eyes to the world, his world felt complete with you in it.
no matter where you were, or whatever time it was, suna rintarou liked to think of you two as soulmates. in every way possible. in every universe you were soulmates, in every universe, he’d love you. and he liked to think that he’d find you in every universe.
in the most craziest ones. the most cutest ones. the most bizarre ones. the most funniest ones. the most saddest ones, you’d be his everything, everywhere, all the time.
and here he is now, because he underestimated you.
he didn’t know how much of an impact you were to him until you were gone.
and now that you are, he can only think, even if we never would’ve worked out in this one- maybe we would’ve worked out in every other single universe.
he takes one last look at the grave sitting right in front of him. maybe in some other universe. not this one- but definitely in another one. he wouldn’t underestimate you again
#kisses4suna#haikyuu#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu suna#suna x you#suna rintarō#suna angst#suna rintarou#suna rintaro x reader#suna x y/n#suna fluff#suna x reader#suna rintaro fluff#sorry if its bad its too late for me to think#its literally 3 am what am i doing
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honestly with sagau im now imagining the “almighty creator” or in this case meant to represent the reader, us as the archaic god of chaos
chaos can be everything and nothing at the same time, it was made out of everything that exists, whether logical or not, but at the same time it was made up of pure nothing
it makes no sense and i think thats why it fits so much; reader is a being that as of right now is usually seen as something not really comprehensible by anyone in cult!au teyvat, they know and can see you *look* human but are you really? you could be but at the same time you couldnt
you couldnt be predicted, but you could be- but then you wouldnt. you’re a puzzling puzzle just waiting to have all its pieces perfectly in place and finally be solved
i can imagine the shock for teyvats lil guys to realize that chaos, something they dont necessarily enjoy having in their lives, is literally what the “almighty creator” embodies,
this was heavily inspired by actual religions, in which chaos in the first primordial being to ever exist and be, and gather themself together cuz ya why not and boom universe or sum else
#sagau#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#sagau brainrot#genshin impact#sagau genshin#genshit midpact#chaos#primordial#hehe im drunk /hj#its literally 3 am what am i doing
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Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.
And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.
And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.
Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.
This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.
And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.
Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.
So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.
It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.
Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.
These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.
Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.
Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.
And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).
But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.
Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.
On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:
"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."
Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.
And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.
Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.
So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.
This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.
In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.
To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.
#blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#akemi blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#just in case... im gonna tag this as#mizukemicritical#akemizucritical#though this post isnt actually criticising the ship itself but rather fanon's portrayal of the ship and the characters#for that reason lemme also tag this as#wank.mp3#feel free to disagree of course but please be civil#and if you need to rant about how wrong i am without any convincing evidence kindly feel free to make your own post. peace and love <3#fandom.rtf#meta dissertations.pdf#shut up haydar#edit: for full disclosure. i do rather dislike this ship. but obviously it's fine for anyone to enjoy it. please do! have your fun!#it's just that as usual! popular fanon and fandom around a ship is what has completely deterred me from any sense of enjoyment of it#it's a shame too because i was very open and even eager for some mizu/akemi romance in the future#but out-of-character fanon + the rudeness of certain fans has definitely soured it for me#but that doesn't mean people can't enjoy it obviously! ship and let ship!!!#plus it has its appeal which i DO STILL see and enjoy!!!!#i would even go as far as to call them soulmates because their narratives and characters are LITERALLY intertwined!!!#but. yeah. my gradual distaste for this ship is indeed very unfortunate.
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I’m thinking again about Astarions sexuality and how I've seen some people (to be fair, just a few) talk about it. Mainly, people pointing out his flamboyant behavior, and that us as players are learning more about his past male lovers than female ones and basically all these things for some people pointing to him being gay or at least not interested in women in the same way he is in men. And him only being a romance option regardless of gender, because, well, all companions are and he is therefore just "playersexual", only showing interest in female player characters because he has to, because of the game mechanics.
I think what really rubs me the wrong way about this topic is that it echoes the kind of things bi/pan people (speaking as a bisexual woman myself) find themselves dealing with irl. Whether through some form of internalized biphobia or from the outside through other people's comments. Of course this is about a fictional character so it’s not like he has any feelings that could be hurt. But when i see people tallying up how often he mentions men vs. how often he mentions women it really reminds me of a way of thinking I sometimes fall into in regards to my own sexuality. This is definitely just an internalized response and not something I actually believe when I truly think about it for a second, but I know these patterns of thought very well. Of observing my own behavior. How often do I find which gender attractive? Am I attracted "enough" to women? Do I talk about men's attractiveness too often? Is it the other way around? Am I only saying this woman is attractive to prove something to myself? I literally have a girlfriend and my attitude towards mine or other's sexual orientation is generally a huge big "whatever, I don't care". And I still have a passing thought like that from time to time.
So seeing people talk about a fictional character in this way really sends home how many people (whether consciously or unconsciously) see attraction as some sort of equation, you can solve, where in the end you get a result of either gay or straight.
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#this has been sitting in my drafts for a few days but i thought why not just post it. its been on my mind.#i saw someone in the notes under a post about astarion literally counting off how often he mentions men vs women#and asking for proof of where he shows he is in fact attracted to women.#like... do you see what you're doing here??#aaaand another thing since people love bringing up his flamboyancy.... he is obviously playing that up a lot#because you know... that whole 'i have to seduce people so i am safe' thing#not saying that thats not also the real him but breaking it down to flamboyant=gay makes even less sense in the context.#its not that i think people shouldn't headcanon him as gay or asexual or whatever#i think thats great too. seeing different people's readings of the character.#just.... leave out the bi-/panphobia ffs. people dont have to show proof that they are in fact bi/pan.
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you are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy when skies are gray
(prompt fill for @mcspirkevents' mcspirk bingo prompt "gone with the wind".)
static frames below:
ouch! neck deep in aos bones feels rn... lmk if i should make a fix-it or somethin
#yeah so yesterday i said id try not to get distracted.. Guess how well that went LMAO#SORRY BONES hes going thru it in this one but literally this is all aos canon. aos is so mean to him and for what#not a single drop of closure... tos bones would flip shit if he found out. Thats the real reason why bones prime never shows up in aos#YEAH BTW PLEASE LOOK AT THE STATIC FRAMES PROCREATE HAS A ASTRONOMIC GRUDGE AGAINST THE 3RD SLIDE FOR SOME REASON#it would NOT stop crunching that one single GODDAMN FRAME in the gif. like full on colour blowout. like WHAT DID IT EVER DO TO YOU#YEAH SO I HAD TO SCREENSHOT IT AND PUT THAT IN THE GIF. EXCEPT MY IPAD SCREENSHOTS THINGS WEIRD. so its CONSPICUOUSLY BRIGHT#the 3rd and 4th frames are meant to have the same background color. every time i watch the gif i am filled with unimaginable rage#WHAT DID THAT FRAME EVER DO TO MY IPAD. what unforgivable crimes did it ever commit to be disrespected like this#ok rant over tags now :))#star trek#star trek aos#star trek fanart#mcspirk bingo#mcspirk#mcspirk fanart#spones#mckirk#spirk#star trek alternate original series#aos#spones fanart#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#spock#jim kirk#did not use a single ref so the fact that the uniforms are reasonably legible as aos is a win (not like i use refs for anything else lol)#spirk is holding hands in that last frame!! gay people moment#OH AND I DID THIS IN LIKE. AROUND 3 HOURS? ive been meaning to draw that first frame for ages now so YIPPEEEEE#i did have a different caption in mind tho. Guess ill redraw it in the future LMAO#dust medibang paints
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Glad to see I'm not the only one weirdly enamoured with Asynchronous Rondo
#i am literally fucking obsessed with this boss. What is it about this boss#i do not know what it is. i dont know but oh Man i love asynchronous rondo#maybe its the design... the sound design... its “voice” ... the stage design ... the music .......... then the fight just being so fun#i love the side order bosses man !!!!! pinging marciale and asynchronous rondo are probably my most favourite bosses in the series#splatoon 3#side order
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Hello! I adore your Bodies fanart. I was imagining Karl in 1890 and how much havoc he would wreak. Also Henry and Karl would get along very well, I think, and Karl would be a *terrible* matchmaker for Henry and Alfred... I'd love to see your take on any of this, if anything comes to you 😍
HELLO OMG THANK YOU FOR THE EXCUSE TO JUST DROP HOT TAKES INTO THE BODIES NETFLIX TAG <3 all these drawings are very scrappy and i lost the plot and this became more like sharing all my hcs but still :')
now that you have brought it to me i really do think henry and karl would be unstoppable, i think they'd constantly have a fun, back-and-forth banter !!! i also can see karl dropping multiple not-so-subtle hints, and all of the detectives being quite supportive. gently too, considering the period-typical homophobia. i do think sometime along the lovelorn pining looks, he gets tired of seeing them orbit each other without anything happening, and this exchange occurs:
more doodles and crying under the cut :)
i will die on the "karl weissman bisexuality" hill. HE TOLD ME IN A DREAM!!!! it's just a little messier for him because he really likes women and will not figure it out ever. charlotte hillinghead TO ME also has the exact opposite problem where she is very much in love with her husband and doesn't have any incentive (or freedom considering the time period) to explore her sexuality. the way she accepted hillinghead's feelings for henry, and was less rejecting and more devastated over thinking he didn't love her or polly, just read queer to me somehow. an acceptance because she's like that too, yk? (maybe a bit of a reach but i don't get to choose who my mind designates as being bi)
i like to think that charlotte-karl experience a spider-verse mindmeld "YOU'RE LIKE ME" moment over being bisexual but they're not quite sure why they're feeling that way because they have no idea they're bi. if you are me you will understand perfectly
and i am a henry/alfred/charlotte poly truther as well (please see above discord ranting from my dms with a friend lol)
on more notes of just giving whichever character i want the bisexuality card, hasan is bi to me too. i think hillinghead and her bond a little over that shared religious guilt, of having their respective institutions be homophobic, and the feeling for so much of their life that they're different, so there must be something wrong. it helps her empathise with him and they quickly become closer because of it :) possibly also introducing him to queer lit, and maybe some non fiction lgbt history books
and one last final doodle because i think alfred as the only detective with an active love life where he's pursuing someone would make the others pretend like they can be adults but they want to know SO BAD and they also give advice once in a while because they're rooting for alfred :) they're all pretty good at hiding how badly they're invested in this (think iris 'casually' asking hillinghead how it's going and the other two perk up in the background) like i refuse to believe any of them are totally immune to the equivalent of office-gossip
this was so so long LOL i hope any of that is coherent !!!!! a lot of it ofc is my own projection bc i am bi, but it's real to me <3
#re hillinghead poly..... realistically a V poly with alfred in the middle but if i am allowed to be anymore annoying#literally everyone in the cast is bi to me. so its a triad. PLEASE DONT BURST MY BUBBLE RN LOL#esp the way ashe casually charms charlotte and makes her laugh in like ep 2... BI SWEEP!!!!! THEY ALREADY LIKE EACH OTHER#i do think ofc its easy to read ashe as being gay tho so i understand if some of this is just. not workable#but i will probably die on bi karl hill sorry everyone i know what he is#and also hasan thinks its ironic the moment she manages to get him out of the 3-piece victorian suit#alfred beelines for an outfit that makes him look like a gay history professor on a dark academia pinterest board#ANYWAYS. IF U READ ALL THAT UR A REAL TROOPER THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK#bodies netflix#my art
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[ID: three images of fanart of the owl house. The first image shows Eda during kings tide. Half of her is fading away into dark feathers from the draining spell, and she's looking distraught into the distance. The lyrics "our mother has been absent" are written next to her.
The second image shows the silhouette of king and the collector, floating in the distance. The backdrop is the moon, but changed to look like the collectors logo/iconography. The lyrics "ever since we founded Rome" are written beneath them.
The third and final image shows Luz in her season 3 poster design stepping out of a bright white portal onto a dark background. She's stylised to have no eyes but is smirking with a determined expression. Written above her is the lyrics "but there's gonna be a party when the wolf comes home". End ID]
(@toh-described) CAN I GET A FUCKING WAHOO(T) FOR SEASON 3??? 🦉🔮✨
#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#eda clawthorne#king clawthorne#the collector#sorry if the images are small- originally it was formatted like a three panel comic all on one canvas#but i didn't like the look of that so i split em up#anyway I'M SO EXCITED FOR SEASON 3. this immediately popped into my head#song is Up the Wolves by the mountain goats and if you haven't listened to it I'd recommend it!!#i thought abt adding the rest of the hexsquad (simplified of course) to Luz's image but i decided i wanted this to be abt the trio#i make enough hexsquad content as it is yknow?#i mean. its cause they're my favs but i do love the main trio of toh#they're the heart and soul of the show afterall and i am SOO excited to see what they all get to do in the specials#part of me feels like i could've spent more time on this? like i wasn't overly happy with my lines and colours#and briefly considered redrawing EVERYTHING after the crop and resizing#but i have a presentation and study to do on goya the next two days and Literally Do Not Have Time <3
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*sighsss*
Gale.
Gale, you should reconsider your standarts
#bloodweave#me fighting with my friend in mic bc i couldnt not to flirt with magic man again#literally stopped weave scene in the middle thinking i would be safe from romantic route but nah#party happened and i now i couldnt stop ARGH I COULD SAY WE ARE FRIENDS I COULD JUST PRESS OTHER OPTIONS#WHAT AM I DOING OH NO ROMANCING HIM THIRD TIME? AS ASTARION AA-#bg3 astarion#astarion origin#bg3 gale#baldur's gate#baldur's gate 3#mystuff#how its perfect that he is just all covered in blood and all
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stickmen go brrr. couplea my friends’ve been drawin/talkin bout Purple recently so i thought id draw their designs/vaguely imitate their styles at the same time :)
Designs belong to: @chosec @alebrijediscordico and @navy-leader!
#ava#avm#animation vs animator#animation vs minecraft#ava purple#avm purple#fanart#my art#these were fun :) i say Vaguely imitate cause i coulda put more effort inta stealing the way they draw shapes n stuff but it was mostly just#for like what brushes i used akjwerkjw#tom's is prob closest ta how i nromally line things#also long flowy braids my beloved#also cal (chosec's) designs are so delightful but i am. so allergic ta drawing short spiky hair KJAJKWEJRK literally hardest hair for me ta#raw .... theyre fun tho mwah#for zachs as i was drawin it i was like i GOTTA make these wings look decent this is the Wing Guy's design. i Gotta.#mmmm bird wings. i rlly should practice drawi nem more ajkwerkjwekj#i do think its funny that literally All 3 of them use a more bluer purple than purple's Actual kinda pinky colour akwerkj interbesitng#anyway this was fun i love my friends mwah mwah. go check out their art
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>> Paris...? has connected.<<
#Greyed Walls Event#(PROPER!)#Apocalypse tw#// holy shit this took- wayyyy too long. I dont think I'm gonna answer any of the asks until tomorrow </3#// I cant draw anything else its nearly 3 am#// nottt happy with the text size or font i'll fix that in the proper responses#// EDIT: I FORGOT BUT THANK YOU @GHOSTPLASMAS FOR MAKING LIKE- LITERALLY 80% OF THIS DOWN TO THE SKETCHES#// feel free to ask your questions but I won’t be getting to them for a WHILE#// also don’t worry bout the time continuity— we do what we want forever here he’s not running on rotumblr time
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I drew all of my historical AU Sebs!!!!
In order they are(with relevant links to lore info if you are curious!!): Napoleonic Hussar Seb(x), Renaissance Muse Seb(x) and Boy King/Emperor Seb(x)
Let me know which you like best!!!
#oh my fucking god this was truly the endurance race of drawing sessions#i just drew for four hours straight or so......FUN!#and it is now almost 5 am on a school night so pls wish me luck in school haha#basically this spawned from me seeing if i could sketch all 3 of my Sebs easily and then whoops 4 hours later they are finished!#i think now i can draw the hussar uniform with my eyes closed. it was so comforting to draw honestly ;;;;#this is actually the first time ive drawn boy king seb with colors!! so i think it turned out pretty well?#hey guys do you notice what all of the Sebs have in common...? they all have a gold motif...GOLDEN BOY CODED!!!#anyways i think the most developed of these AUs is boy king seb which is funny bcs its the one ive created most recently#but gaahhhhhh ive done so much research and im literally brainrotting over it constantly#now i need to draw fernando in his 3 AUs hahaha but drwing Seb is sooooo much more easy/comfy for me#did you guys also notice i have a fondness for a specific seb hairstyle? malaysia 2010 my truly beloved youve served me so well#i mentioned this already but like i dont get how drawing these kinds of clothing is far more preferable to me than drawing racesuits#well anyways i have so much fun researching into these different eras!! and then very fun to mix it with the drivers#im very surprised i was able to draw this. im not usually able to draw good chibi anatomy#but like seriously i think i was posessed by my thoughts of boy king seb and i just couldnt stop drawing#in didnt really have any mental roadblocks which is surprising#but then again these drawings are me mixing my two major interests atm so ofc it'll come to me easily and make me passionate!!#anyways time to go sleep pwease dont let this flop my hands literally are overheated from drawing LMFAO#catie.art.#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 fanart#formula 1 art#formula 1 fanart#f1 art#boy king au#renaissance muse au#hussar au
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thinking about yassen gregorovich instead of sleeping (because i love him) and how he is a catalyst. yassen stabbs ash -> ash kills john rider -> ian rider raises alex -> yassen kills ian rider -> mi6 blackmails alex into becoming a teenage spy.
i have so many thoughts that i can't properly articulate. obviously this is a simplified chain of events, but yassen and his choices set off a chain reaction of the world's most unfortunate dominos. especially when you read russian roulette. to be clear im not necessarily trying to blame him for everything because that feels very mean. he was also just a 14 year old kid when everything in his life went wrong, just like alex. only difference being yassen literally had no one.
i think i should write an essay about this because i haven't even gotten into my thoughts about what yassen and alex's dynamic would look like past eagle strike. i would imagine it'd be similar to ellie and joel from the last of us part 2.
where obviously yassen loves alex and alex on some level cares for yassen back but struggles to reconcile that with the fact that yassen is responsible for his uncle's death. a very unforgivable act. it would be so messy and complicated and angsty, because on one hand here is an adult who truly cares about him and has a connection with him through his father. yassen could tell alex about john, and trust that yassen truly wants whats best for him. but he killed ian, and he cannot take that back.
while alex reels from those feelings, yassen is also trying to reconcile his love of alex with the knowledge that he on some level is responsible for the suffering alex endured at the hands of mi6. and possibly even the fact that alex's godfather is the one who killed john and helen.
#btw i think anthony horowitz killed yassen off so he wouldnt have to deal with this lmao#and sidenote ash is responsible for his own shitty choices but i think itd be difficult for yassen to cope with the fact that stabbing ash#led to some very bad consequences for literally everyone#are there any fics that are similar to what im describing?? ?#i read a ton of alex rider fics but i mostly read fluff because im actually too emotionally fragile to handle angst#i cried while reading stormbreaker and that book wasnt even supposed to be sad#if this is doesnt make any sense its because i woke up at 2 am and wrote this#its just word vomit; pure not proofread thoughts directly from my fucked up little brain#idk maybe someone will enjoy reading this#alex rider#yassen gregorovich#alex rider books#ian rider#john rider#chaotic ramblings#and final note i do not ship yalex#i was thinking of this more in terms of yassen having a weird guardian/parental relationship with alex#if it wasnt clear from my ellie and joel reference from the last of us#anyways im gonna go back to making shitposts and memes so i never have to feel anything again thank you goodnight <3
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PLEASE PLEASE OH M GOF CAN U DRAW CGO AKITOYA
I CAN
But it was SO HARD
#i am probably never drawing this set again /hj#BECAUSE WHAT THE HELL. ITS SO DETAILED. WHAT#but i like how it ended up so we're good :3#please do not. perceive the gun#i literally cannot draw weaponry...#asks#prsk#prsk art#prsk fa#akito shinonome#toya aoyagi#vivid bad squad#kerizart
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i want desperately for you guys to know that this is how swanatello was born. he was designed and drawn in a span of approximately 30 minutes at work and made originally with the only intention being "pun." thanks @actuallynobutwhynot for getting me to make him lmao i gotta draw him and your sona together sometime.
#swanatello#and look at us now jfc#i didnt even intend for him to have any kind of a story i just sort of#made it up recently#as i did shitty doodles of him while talking about risesonas with friends#thanks also @ beanarry for making me want a donniesona in the first place#and @ sep council for bringing up risesonas and getting me to dust him off#and thanks @ bean again for getting me to post him lol i wasnt expecting anyone to??? care abt him#like to be fair its not like hes BLOWING UP or whatever but i have never gotta so much attention in my askbox before#and he has literally existed on tumblr for#like#four days#and i have gotten SO many asks and fanart and shit abt him and i am just blown away and also absolutely TICKLED#thanks gang#i am glad you like him#..... <3#i like him too#i like telling his story#and im really happy that i have kind of been tricked into just?#doing really shitty low effort doodles and being ok with that being what i post?#it is very freeing#anyway thanks <3#i will get to all the asks eventually#some of them im hanging onto#because answering them involves dropping MAD lore and sort of slingshotting the story forward and i dont wanna like#reveal everything right away ig?#so patience plz <3#i will get to everything i can eventually
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examining your relationship with your art can be fun
but watch out
#examine too hard and you'll have a crisis#or *another crisis if you're like me#sometimes yeah i think about it too hard and then i get the intense prey instinct#to chuck my tablet into a field and then take off sprinting in the other direction#though i know id just come creeping back like a cautious but curious deer. get a little closer. run away#closer. jump back. poke the tablet and run away. come back and poke it again.#its the 'what am i doing? am i doing what i want to do? am i enjoying this? is it hurting me?'#will admit i have these thoughts every other day#ill have like a good bit of fully enjoying art & what im scribbling#and then suddenly ill wake up the next day and its terrifying and Too Much and huh??? HUH???#i want to draw but im so so scared <3 but im being sooooo brave about it <3#anyway i think we should all destroy our electronics and run screaming into the woods#OH MY GOD SOON I CAN DO THAT.#not the electronics - i mean the running into the woods part#oh im so excited. when its all too much i can just walk in nature with no one around#that Will fix me! for sure!#when the Art Fear™️ comes back i can just... go away for a few hours and touch some motherfucking grass#AND MAYBE FORAGE SOME CHICKEN OF THE WOODS. I AM DYING TO HARVEST WILD CHICKEN OF THE WOODS.#LITERALLY HAS BEEN A LIFE GOAL FOR YEARS NOW#when the Art Fear™️ creeps in i can get some big chickeney mushrooms and cook em up. refresh my soul....#absolutely unprompted#but yeah sometimes i wonder if im drawing for myself or others. like drawing for others is fine but... i think there's a fine line#am i balancing it? am i Indulging enough? am i doing what i want to do enough???#are my people-pleaser tendencies consuming me again? am i feeling Pressure? hm. yeah its crisis time#am i living how i want. am i enjoying how i want. am i interacting with welcome home the way i want to.#i think im going to go do the dishes....
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