Watching the dynamic between bonny and read vs stede and ed in s2 ep4 was such a rollercoaster cause it went from me thinking "oh no they're just like stede and ed but if they actually ran off to China together and had a loving happy relationship" to me getting further into the ep and thinking "oh no they're just like stede and ed but if they ran off to China together and their relationship turned fucked up and toxic cause that's what happens when two traumatized pirates run of to live in isolation with eachother on a whim".
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I've been seeing a lot of posts lately talking about how no one comments/reblogs/replies/etc anymore, and, as someone who comments regularly on a lot of fanworks, it sometimes makes me wonder if my efforts are worth anything. Then I remember how much happiness I get from comments on my own work/posts and how much the community of fandom can matter, and I remember the power that can be found in spreading joy instead of disappointment.
So -- to everyone who comments on fanfiction: thank you. You make the writing process worthwhile and so very rewarding. You make people happy every day.
To all the people who reblog art and gifsets and meta and anything else with enthusiastic tags: thank you. You make people smile and promote interesting conversations and make being on Tumblr so much more fun.
To anyone who sends people asks about their works, whether it's unprompted or part of an ask game: thank you. You give people reasons to talk about things they love and feel like a part of a community.
To the people who makes reclists: thank you. You give us more to read while showing the author how much their work is loved and appreciated, benefitting so many people.
To everyone who organizes events and groups and blogs and dedicated to fandom: thank you. You build community and love and excitement so effectively and it's wonderful.
To all the authors and artists who respond to comments and build community: thank you. You make people smile with your work and then again with your response.
To everyone who contributes to fandom and community in all the other beautiful, varied ways that I can't even begin to list: thank you. You are why we're here.
And, finally, to every writer, visual artist, gifmaker, cosplayer, maker of edits, writer of meta, or creator of art in any other form: thank you. Your work is wonderful and you make fandom what it is, regardless of who sees your art or how much response you recieve.
Keep going, everyone. You are a part of something beautiful.
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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp
i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand
many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you
also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)
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how do you set boundaries for people venting in your inbox? normally i'm happy to listen and help, but sometimes i just don't have the energy, you know? but i feel bad ignoring people.
(p.s. if you can tell who i am then no you can't)
//also just a heads-up for anyone Else who can tell who this is because it is Very Obvious if you know me, the only source of this is because skully did the boundary thing and i figured it'd be a good question
//i am in no way actually being troubled OOC (or even IC) by anyone at present so no need to adjust anything in interactions. pre-emptive anxiety easing done
What i try to do is outright state "hey, not right now" as soon as i can. It's tough sometimes but the more you do it the easier it becomes. The hard part is not letting your guilt consume you- just because it feels mean or wrong to set a boundary because it might hurt the other person, doesnt mean it IS mean or wrong. Setting healthy boundaries is imperative to a healthy relationship, so it's best to rip the bandaid off as soon as you can rather than suppressing your own needs.
Keep in mind that im just some dude and not a mental health professional by any means, but ive been practicing and keeping healthy relationships and building my mental health back up for a while now, so im happy to try and help where i can.
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