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michaels-reality · 3 years

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jsaghka whats wrong with ok ko?

Okay so I will spoil the whole main plot of the series with it but there are 3 main problems I’m gonna get into with this series and it’s problems with character design, jokes on child neglect, and ableism with system caricatures. And this is coming from someone who enjoys the show before anyone thinks I’m just hating to hate on it. But again, these issues are so big for me that I would not recommend this show to anyone skjhskjf.

1. Issues with character design

Alright, so first off, please look at this picture of the majority of the women of the show and tell me what’s wrong with it?

Yeah! Almost all of them have the exact same body type! I’ve seen people praise ok ko with its diverse character design but if you boil it down, almost all the women have the same cinched waist and big hips. And for the characters the characters that do have different body types, it's almost unfair to compare them to the rest of the characters, like you can’t compare Carol to Rippy Roo because Rippy Roo is an actual animal. And you can’t compare Dendy to Enid, because Dendy is a child and Enid is a teenager. And for the Ladies that have an actual difference in body type, that’s like 6 characters out of how many? And to those characters that have different body types, the Hue Troops only show up for 2 episodes and even then the main focus isn’t on them so they barely get any screen time, Punching Trudy shows up for one episode to fight Punching Judy, Pheobe shows up for 7 episodes but she’s a background character and I don’t ever remember her speaking, and then there’s Foxtail. Foxtail is probably the only female character that has a different body type that has an important role in the story and shows up for more than just background appearances.

Compared to the men in the show, there is way more diversity but even then, there is a lot of making the upper half of them bigger and giving them tiny hips and legs.

There is also the issue that kinda pisses me off is the racial ambiguity of everyone. Like most of the characters aren’t even human so whatever, but there are characters like enid that have darker skin but she has straight purple hair so what are we supposed to get from that? I mean, I guess there is some wiggle room for anyone that isn’t white to claim her but then you start to see that all these darker skinned characters seem to always have straight hair and that’s also a problem. The only character I can confidently say is black is foxtail and she has straight hair. And the only character that is said to have curls and an afro is RADICLES who is BLUE and an ALIEN! Like it makes me mad that our curly haired and black coded character is designed like this. Like, I get it, he’s an alien, he’s blue, he’s not human, BUT WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE THE ONLY ONE? WHY CAN’T THERE BE ANOTHER CHARACTER WHO IS DARKER SKINNED AND CURLY HAIRED?

It’s so ironic given that ok ko has one of the BEST racism metaphors I’ve ever seen in episode 28. Dendy says kappas don’t need pow cards to be heros but it feels nice to be appreciated but this show is not making me feel very appreciated right now sjglksjgds.

2. Jokes about child neglect/abuse

OKAY! BOXMAN! I LOVE BOXMAN BUT WHAT THE FUCK?

Okay, so in the show, Lord Boxman has robot minions that he is constantly annoyed with the performance of and punishes them and yells at them. AND I WOULDN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS IF BOXMAN DIDN’T REFER TO THEM AS HIS CHILDREN! It’s shown in the show that Boxman raised them as baby robots and they call him daddy and they have a very familial relationship. But it’s constantly joked about with Boxman saying how they never make him proud not taken seriously in the show. Like, in the second episode, one of the first things we see Boxman do is put Darrel in the furnace and Darrel says “I deserve this” BUT DON’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY CUS DARREL IS A ROBOT AND HE’S BACK 2 SECONDS LATER! The robots get emotional over any sense of approval, like at the end of “Villains Night In” Darrel and Shannon literally fall apart after Boxman gives them shirts and says to “keep up the good work”, and the end of Plazalypmics, Darrel, Shannon, and Raymond get participation trophies and are really happy with that. Like, this isn’t normal.

The whole relationship between the robots and Boxman is actually pretty toxic and kind of bothers me sometimes. The robots seem to have a very intense sibling rivalry but it’s over the affection of Boxman, which is unhealthy but most of the time it’s just played off as funny joke for the tv. And it becomes even more apparent because episodes without Boxman, like Rad likes robots, it shows them getting along fine and even worrying about each other. And in season 2, Boxman comes back from the sun and Darrel stands up to him and says he doesn’t need him anymore, but one “I’m proud of you” from Boxman and Darrel is back to wanting his approval. LIKE ITS ALMOST NEVER FRAMED AS A BAD THING OR TAKEN SERIOUSLY! I AM NOT A FAN OF HOW THEY TREAT THIS! Like, I can admit it gets better after Venomous comes into the picture and Boxman has that realization of “oh I should be proud of my kids achievements” but to me it looks like this whole forgiving your abuser plot line and I fucking hate it! And Boxman still admits to incinerating his robots after the company switches over to his and Venomous’ ownership when discussing what to do to punish them and he says “I usually see improvement in my robots after I incinerate them.”

And even if it got better, it’s still played off as a joke in all of season one and normalizes terrible behavior. Child neglect in tv shows, especially in children’s media, played off jokes and funny are never good and can be insensitive to children who are in these situations seeing it played up for laughs. You can argue that being on the villain’s side frames it as a bad thing but that kinda loses meaning in a show like ok ko where you start to see the villains as regular people and not necessarily bad, just “evil”. I just feel like this could have been treated so much better and not trivialized like this.

3. System Caricatures and ableism

Let me start off by saying, I am a singlet and I don’t have as much authority on this type of thing so feel free to correct me on anything I get wrong or add on in anyway.

With that said, KO and TKO along with Shadowy Figure and Professor Venomous are terrible system caricatures. KO is 6-11 years old is prime age to develop a system, so when shadowy figure comes into KO’s life and traumatizes him, he splits. And so we begin our little “evil alter ego”(quoting the show! using this phrasing is terrible and should never describe a system like that) stereotype.

I’ve talked about OK KO with my friends who are systems and it makes them mad that this show had so many moments to be good system rep and then it turns around and fucks everything up! Like TKO could have been written well. TKO is very clear on stating he isn’t KO and is his own person but everyone still refers to him KO and treats him like a bad thing because he isn’t KO. And when TKO acts out due to being referred to as KO and rightfully being upset, they act like it is some evil act against them and they need KO back! Like, the show misses its own point so much!!! If they treated TKO like a person (which he is!!!!!) then half the problems they have wouldn’t be a problem in the first place. And TKO has done nothing wrong other than wanting to front! KO even talks about TKO as another person but they address him as such!

The way people talk about TKO in this show makes me so mad, like when Dendy does tests on KO in “Mystery Science Fair 201X” to bring out TKO, TKO finally comes out to deal with the feelings KO can’t deal with and then they almost do it right when Dendy realizes she was the one that fucked up and then SHE APOLOGIZES TO KO INSTEAD OF TKO FSDGHSDFJ!!! And they always treat TKO as a threat as if he’s a danger! Like TKO’s a kid just like KO and acted out when the people around him upset him! Like a kid! And the last time TKO shows up in season one in the finale, TKO actually SAVES everyone in the plaza and leads the battle away from the plaza but because “oh but TKO is the evil” they go and try to stop him from saving them? Like yeah he got a little reckless but he only ended up hurting people in the plaza when Rad and Enid interfered. They treat him like a problem because they MAKE him a problem!

Also, the moments where everyone tries to bring KO back by saying “you are loved” and all that, that’s actually really manipulative! Like, they’re using positive triggers to kick TKO out of front and that’s actually a really rude thing to do. They’re trying to bring to front who THEY want to see and it’s not fair to TKO who is fronting. It also goes the other way around when Dendy is experimenting on TKO to try and get him to front.

And then even KO treats him terribly, locking him in a cage, then keeping him in his head all the time, and then when he finally lets TKO out and TKO acts out from being locked in his own head for so long, KO then traps TKO in his subconscious. Which is terrible! TKO should be allowed to front and should be treated like his own person! It’s so weird how the show almost gets it right but then does shit like this that makes it terrible again. Like KO has a headspace and he creates things in his headspace and he talks to TKO like another person and they communicate their feelings but then the show turns this all on their head when KO locks TKO away and blames him for destroying everything when he’s the one trapping him in his brain.

There is also the problem with TKO being the one with all the power and changing his appearance cus that all contributes to the system caricature. Also, TKO and KO integrating at the end of the series? ALSO VERY BAD AND HARMFUL CARICATURE! Alters are different people and they should be treated as different people and KO is not TKO all along THEY ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE! And integration is possible but it’s usually not by choice. And even then, integration being the end goal of a story is a very ableist narrative and shouldn’t be written.

And it confuses me, why does shadowy figure have his own pow card but TKO doesn’t. Like, KO and TKO are established more as being different people than Shadowy Figure and Venomous so why doesn’t he get his own pow card? Like the end of season one, TKO fought the fight at the plaza and used his power to defeat Boxman jr but at the end KO ends up leveling up instead. And on the topic of TKO’s power, again, that shouldn’t be a thing. TKO and KO should both have access to the same power because they use the same body because that's how systems work! They use the same body!

And I know what the show was trying to do like “oh TKO is a manifestation of all the bad feelings that KO has!” but there are so many ways to do that without making a caricature of systems. Like if you didn’t make TKO a person then this would have been fine. Like if other people didn’t see TKO this could have been fine. There are ways to make a manifestation of your negative emotions without doing it like this. And the way this show did it is such bad writing, because you are meant to think TKO is this terrible manifestation of emotions but all you see is this scared kid who doesn’t know where he is and lashes out when he gets rightfully upset. BECAUSE LET ME REMIND YOU! TKO AND KO ARE BOTH 6-11 YEARS OLD! THEY ARE KIDS! THEY’RE SITUATION SHOULDN’T BE TREATED THIS WAY

And my guy shadowy figure...... bad. Shadowy Figure and Venomous’ is not only a terrible caricature but also very inaccurate. With KO and TKO, their system developed at the correct time as a child, but with Shadowy Figure and Venomous, they developed after Venomous got his snake disease. And, Venomous doesn’t even know about Shadowy Figure and that can be a result of dissociative amnesia but it’s really unfortunate. And again! the end of the series! Shadowy Figure and Venomous integrate into one entity and it’s terrible! Because they aren’t the same person and shouldn’t be treated as the same person! And again with the whole “evil alter ego”. Like Shadowy figure only exists to traumatize KO and make him split and create TKO. And the fact that they turn out to be KO’s dad??? Yikes??? Like again, these are terrible caricatures and are harmful to systems and should’ve been treated better in the show.

---

Like, I love OK KO, I used to hold this show very close to my heart and made me very happy to see this show with the amount of LGBT rep but looking back it was very bad in many ways. Like that racism episode I mentioned, that shit resonates with me! And I appreciate characters like Dendy and KO and I still love the boxbots and venomous, I just wished this show lived up to the potential that it had.

TL;DR: OK KO has a problem with misogynistic character design and colorism, normalizes child neglect, and has put out an ableist narrative with system caricatures.

#long post #racism m #colorism m #misogny m #ableism m #ok ko #malware-rants #intergration m

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uneryx · 3 years

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A story + some advice

Once upon a time, back in 2009, I was “cancelled”.

We didn’t call it that, back then, but basically, after making a shitty, sanctimonious post, nearly every online friend I had made told me to go fuck myself and stopped talking to me. [below the cut - the story, plus some advice to the TDP fandom about toxic fans, consequences, and bad fan behavior from someone who has both been both accuser and defendant. This isn’t a Pity Me post, btw, just me trying to neutrally describe a Bad Time and draw comparisons to an ongoing situation to express both sympathy and clearly state that sometimes consequences are deserved.]

Oh, I had my reasons for the post I made. I was living with my parents, and they had discovered my secret livejournal. After several hours of screaming matches I was given the ultimatum - quit livejournal and LJRP forever, or move out with nothing but my car, my clothes, and the $60 I had in the bank. I chose not being homeless.

As part of this, I was allowed to make one final LJ post - a goodbye, telling people where I was, a (heavily edited) version of what happened and a plea to all my LJ friends to consider that they too might be “addicted to the internet” and they should “save themselves”. It was self-righteous and unwelcome, and my mother had no compunctions showing me the comments telling me to kill myself, get fucked, etc. It was devastating, and I spent the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 completely socially isolated, with no one but my parents for friendship. Needless to say, it blew. Some of those friendships came back, either because those friends had the patience and kindness to understand my situation/hadn’t taken it so personally, or because after years (and I do mean literal years, like... 5+ years), mutual forgiveness happened. But not all of them. There are people who I spoke with daily who i haven’t spoken to in 12 years and I wonder what they’re up to now. Good things, I hope. I wish them nothing but success and happiness. But I had been an asshole and made a post that hurt people, and promptly been shown the door. And I don’t expect anyone to forgive me for being an asshole, even if my own circumstances were pretty dire. I made the choices that I did, and live with the consequences of those choices. That’s... just being an adult. Now. Lets talk about TDP and a certain she who will not be named. Miss thing has said and done some things that are high on my bad-fan-behavior list. She’s tagged the official account in a plea to have them mediate her fandom drama. She posted a suicide threat in the main fandom hashtag, without any warnings or tw tags, just right there for any and everyone to see. She’s made some pretty harsh accusations of other fans of bullying, harassment and death threats, but has produced no receipts or proof, which - in this day and age - is pretty important when making such a serious allegation - meaning I have to assume she’s making it up. She’s defended JKR and said that calling ol’ Joanne a TERF is unwarranted, claimed that “biological gender” can’t be ignored, whined about “liberal privilege,” and claimed that white people experience racism too because there isn’t enough “Tuscan rep.” (girl, what? Tuscany? I guarandamntee you more white people know what Tuscan culture looks like than Fillipino or Indigenous culture, what the hell.) She asks her followers to brigade and harass other fans as well as the people she’s accused, and blows things out of proportion... and then has had repeated histrionic meltdowns in the main fandom hashtag, the public square of fandom, over one of these big name fans allegedly getting other fans to block her (still, no receipts). I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but the claims she’s making are not true. If you know the ppl in question and follow them for any length of time, that is not the people who they are and they would never. Furthermore, trying to get Wonderstorm involved like they’re the fan police is, as i have said in my most popular post this week, bad. It’s bad. It’s bad fan behavior and being called out for it is deserved. So why am I telling you my sob story and then whipping around to talk about a similar story? Because I deserved being cancelled. I said something shitty - even if my circumstances were understandable and sympathetic! But what I did with that is attacked and harmed other people. Attacking and harming others and making your drama and mental health public is toxic. People have a right to call you out, block you, and stop interacting with you if your behavior is harmful to them and the people they care about. It’s not harassment, its not bullying. It’s fucking consequences for being someone people don’t want to be around. I get it, I really do. It SUCKS. But sometimes you have to grow up and realize that when you hurt people, they might hurt you back. Nobody in fandom wants to be around someone who is constantly making drama their problem. And nobody in fandom should have to deal with that.

I want miss missy to take it out of the fandom. She keeps threatening to leave tumblr and honestly I wish she would? At least until she’s grown, matured and learned how to handle her mental health in a productive way that doesn’t drag everyone, of all ages, into the fray. As it is right now she’s just making herself and everyone else miserable. Redemption isn’t something magically granted because one has apologized - it must be earned by a good faith demonstration of change. Not a performative change, but TRUE change. Until then, well... Sometimes you gotta cut your losses and leave. If you’re young and riled and feeling like the big mean fandom BNFs are harassing this poor poor mentally ill queer woman? Consider, perhaps, that she isn’t the only mentally ill queer woman in the fandom (hi!), and that when people call her out for toxic behavior it’s not bullying, but consequences. (BTW, madam, if you’re reading this: I didn’t block you because anyone told me to - in fact, i was told by certain parties NOT to block you. I blocked you because I don’t want you looking at my posts and thinking you can use my platform to give your self-aggrandizing pity party legitimacy like you absolutely did whenever I blogged about forgiveness, fan culture or positivity. These posts are not for you. Nice to see you didn’t respect my boundaries and are looking at this logged out, too.)

#fandom drama #long post #boy I am mad today #get out of the fucking hashtags girl #and stop trying to manipulate people into sympathy by being a damn liar

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stevenbasic · 4 years

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Sitting alone in the small chair in front of her desk, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was already being submissive, that he was acting contrite, before the meeting even began. He’d been cowed by what happened last night, and could swear the girls were looking at him funny when he skulked into his office this morning. Did they all know already?? What happened with Randi? It all made him nervous, and he knew it did nothing but undermine his authority and make him look weak.

And then there were the stream of aggressively confident posts Melissa had put on Instagram last night, and those he’d woken up to. “I’m proud of being a woman”? #simpforme, #motheryourman, #getready? “there’s gonna be a lot more of it”?? #stronger #bigger #successful. And - the baby-bird thing??? Jesus. It was like he was watching her spread her wings and he felt, this morning, like he was just cowering in her shadow.

She’d texted him this morning, said she’d wanted to meet with him in her office at 9, and had cleared the patients from his schedule. It was 9:05, looking at his watch. Every moment that went by felt like another nail in the coffin of his control of the office. I can’t let this happen, he tried to steel himself, I have to somehow show that I’m in charge.

But then, he heard it. The unmistakable staccato of her heels approaching down the hallway - click-clack-click-clack, echoing like gunshots - was heavier than one would expect in the corridor. The sound made his heart start to race. Why am I so nervous?? The Instagram posts and the events of last night - the girls in his apartment, him stupidly letting Randi once again have her way with him - had him on edge. Plus, he slept lousy. What did Melissa want to meet about?

click-clack-click-clack. She was almost there.

Remember, he told himself, she works for you.

But as soon as she walked in, when she entered the room and seemed to draw all light to her, he immediately felt himself to be in the presence of a more powerful person. Reflexively, he stood, and tried to keep from gaping. Oh my god she’s huge, he balked, astounded by her height. The only reason she hadn’t had to duck to get through the doorway was because she’d had such large, eight-foot doors installed.

“Good morning,” she said, her smile ebullient, happy to find him here and deferentially waiting for her, standing at attention, “Oh, so chivalrous! I like a man with good manners.” She watched his face as he took in her outfit, her figure, how tall she was in her new shoes. Immediately she knew she’d chosen right: the aggressively low-cut pink sweater, the high-waisted, dark grey pants that helped make her look both hippy, authoritative and even leggier than usual. And then there were the shoes.

“th-those are some heels,” he admitted, his obsequious gaze finding the safest place to linger: her feet and the black, patent leather pumps which made her...oh my god...he couldn’t bear to think how tall she’d be.

“Yeah huh?” she smiled, appreciating the crack in his voice, the submissive body language he was already assuming, standing there for her. She moved towards her desk, making sure to step as close to him as possible. “My friend Abby dropped them off for me this morning. They’re eight inches.”

“w-wow,” was all he could manage, dwarfed as he felt as she - standing well more than a foot taller than him - passed by. He knew he’d already started acting the simp, taken off his guard by her appearance, and was too dazed to resolve himself otherwise.

“They make me almost six-foot ten,” she stated, seeing how flabbergasted by her height he seemed. Something inside her urged her to step back closer to him, stand above him, demonstrate how big she was and make him feel small. That feeling made her tingle dangerously, rushed blood to her chest, and it was a hard instinct to fight back. But instead she knew she should proceed carefully with him, start business, and so she moved behind her desk. “You’re waiting for me to sit, aren’t you?” she asked with an approving smile, “such a gentleman.”

“Oh, haha, yeah I guess…” he said, still finding himself awkwardly standing in place, fidgeting.

“Looks like your mother trained you right," she responded, and immediately saw the wince in his expression. “Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie,” she cooed, as he cast his eyes aside, “I forgot. Forgive me?” She watched him nod, wanly. It was obviously, even to this day, a tender subject with him. I have to remember, she thought to herself, poor thing didn’t have a proper mommy.

"Well, every girl likes a respectful man,” she continued, with a munificent smile. Standing behind her desk, she felt the authority the office’s place of power gave her. “Especially one who knows his place in front of the alpha female. But no...sit.”

He looked at her as if confused. She was waiting for him patiently, like she was testing his resolve. Reflexively, though, he began to sit, and felt immediately emasculated as she remained standing.

“Good boy,” she said in approval, allowing mischief into her smile for the first time. Oooo this is funn, she caught herself musing.

The shock of that - the infantile little praise, the talk of “alpha female” - was not one he’d expected. She’d played around like this last week, at the beach conference...but hearing it here in the office was another thing altogether. “We’re - haha - w-we’re still doing that?” he asked, looking up at her, feeling a dark shiver of self-abasement and secretly marveling at the perfect hourglass her trim but wantonly full figure cut above him, silhouetted against the white wall behind.

“oooo remember, sweetie,” she replied, “we’re alone, it’s just you and me.” With that, on cue, she tapped a button on her desk and the door to the office closed behind him; she liked the startled look that brought to him. “We don’t have to worry about what anyone else thinks and just fall into our...natural roles,” she purred, putting her hands on the desk to lean over towards him. She smiled as his eyes predictably darted to her cleavage. “We’ll just let nature take its course,” she stated, “How does that sound, Dr. J?”

“Oh, uh…” he stammered, temporarily spellbound by the sheer volume of bosom she’d put on display. This sweater, he found himself thinking, she wore this on purpose. And just as he was almost able to tear his gaze away from her breasts, she casually squeezed them together and his eyes remained fixed, for more than a moment too long. Letting nature take its course, he thought, might end up with my face buried up to my ears.

And so she had him speechless, already; that got her grinning. She brushed away an imaginary nothing from the swell of her right beast, keeping his gaze fixed right where she wanted it. Melissa knew what she needed to say in this meeting, the words she had prepared to get him to do what she wanted. But, gauging his reaction, she was seeing already that she wouldn’t have to work too hard. Her tits could do the heavy lifting.

“Enjoying the view?” she asked, after finally drawing her fingers away from her chest and immediately causing him to look away. He flushed red, caught staring. ”Omigosh you’re so cute when you’re blushing,” she giggled, only to cause a wave of jiggles to joggle through her chest, drawing his hapless gaze for another brief second. Her breasts were just so big, the huge soft swells of her cleavage the main attraction in the room and a magnet to his eyes.

She laughed. “So, you know why I’m dressed like this, right?” she asked, a wry smile acknowledging the blatant aggression of her outfit, “the heels, the tight pants…” For a moment she looked down at her own chest, then locked eyes with him. “...the boobage?”

“Uhhhh….”

”You know what I'm going to ask for, of course?” she continued, becoming struck by how adorable he was in his tongue-tied, defenseless denseness.

“A-a raise?” he asked, struggling with all his will to keep her gaze.

Her laugh was deep and sultry, one of a woman pleased. “No haha but…” she said, as she then gathered her arms under her breasts, cradling them to exaggerate their size, “…could I get one if I asked really nicely?”

Oh my god, he thought, as he felt his dick start to stiffen, no. this is...too much. But he didn’t have the will to protest, scold her. “Y-you know money’s been tight…”

“Haha I’m joking, you know I’m teasing!” she laughed, enjoying the bewildered look on his face and standing up straight again, “I know your numbers are down. But that’s why we need to talk, about Abby…”

Abby, he thought, she’s the sales-rep friend...from that weird pharm company. He’d resisted meeting with her from the beginning, unwilling to waste precious time on another salesmonkey pushing snake oil. He’d been inundated with their brochures, ignored countless phone messages, avoided their research papers in his email, and still he had no idea what their product really was. It seemed like they made one thing and one thing only: some sort of supplement for women of childbearing age. His was a geriatric practice! Why would they want him to be part of some clinical trial? It really made no sense and he’s really wanted no part of it.

But he knew Melissa felt otherwise.

Indeed, she knew getting a meeting together was important to Evolution Pharmaceuticals, really the main reason Abby had sent her the posting for this job in the first place. Abby had encouraged her to go for the position even though it was frankly above her abilities. But it was something, a challenge, a job maybe she could grow into…

...and now she fully intended to, in spades.

Melissa leaned in further again, over the desk towards him, her suddenly soft doe-eyes seeking his out. “Remember..it’s just you and me,” she sweetly cooed, putting her full breasts once again on obvious display for him, “nobody’s going to think less of you if you agree to this…” She allowed her chest to slowly push forward, her shoulders back. “...just let nature take its course.”

She knew he heard the encouragement in her voice. Her beauty held real power that she knew how to use, and she intended to put him at ease. In the moment, she knew he didn’t even realize that it was already working. Her eyes searched his and saw something they were looking for. A warm smile formed on her lips and she continued to let her body do all the work. His eyes all but unabashedly on her tits again, this was already happening just the way Abby said it would.

“So...about meeting with Abby...” she began, letting go just the faintest waft of her pheromones, to drift across the desk, just enough to-

“yes okay I’ll do it,” he answered, without even having to be asked.

What?? Haha omigod.

“You...will?” she beamed, her smile becoming a sudden, dazzling grin. It can’t be that easy, can it? Admittedly a bit surprised she was immediately struck by one self-aggrandizing thought: she loved being this beautiful...and this big. She loved the feeling of being stronger and more powerful than those around her. She loved how her body, her buxom sexuality, could be so simply and so extravagantly too much for people; how it reduced them to putty in her hands, paralyzing them for her with nothing more than a smile and a look. And, what’s more, she was beginning to realize what else she could accomplish, given the time. She knew, secretly, that the bigger she got, the more Melissssy there was, the easier it would all become.

So bring it on, she thought to herself, give me more. She had to keep herself from laughing. Who needs an associate’s degree when you wear an I-cup?

“Ok I’ll call her, put it in your schedule right away,” Melissa said in victory, knowing she had to be gentle and watching as he had begun, it seemed, to sheepishly shrink into the chair below her. This was emasculating for him, she knew, capitulating like he was in his utter defenselessness. It gave her a thrill, she had to admit, flexing her authority here in the office, dwarfing him like this, dwarfing a man. She knew it was possibly unfair, that she’d had the deck stacked against him by coming at him with all this in his most fragile moments...but it needed to be done, and she would show him it was all for the best. And, she thought slyly, she would someday make it up to him, make him forget how little she’d just made him feel. Unless, of course, he likes that sort of thing...

But in the meantime-“, she knew she had other work to do, and as the saying goes about the hot iron and the striking-

“Let’s talk about new staff,” she said innocently, “I want to hire twelve more girls.”

“T-twelve?” he blurted, shaken a bit back to himself, “Really? Didn’t we lose just, like...five?”

“It was three, and then three part-timers,” she corrected him, “But I want to bring on twelve full-time people. A nurse practitioner, maybe a PA, a nurse Nurse Asstha...Attess…”

“Aesthetician?” he helped, even through his disarray.

“Yes, that..!” she giggled, “I’ll learn how to say that someday!” Twirling her hair girlishly in between the fingers of one hand, she stood again. “New providers, they’ll all need support staff, plus we have to replace the girls in accounting,” she listed, now starting to step away from behind her desk, “and we need a new supervisor for the front desk, unless you think Audrey is up for the job…?”

He paused, a bit confused, watching as she lazily stepped towards him. Was she actually asking for his opinion? Wait...he thought, why am I surprised by th- This was obviously getting away from him too quickly. “Uh, sure, but…” he began, “are you positive we can handle so many ne-”

“Oh, sweetie,” she cooed, now standing right next to him, above him, noticing how he’d reflexively turned his chair to face her, “we can handle it no problem. Maybe it’s just you that’s having some trouble?” She looked down at him, her employer, and mused on how anxious and small he looked. She reached down to tenderly push a wayward lock of hair behind his ear. “Besides...don’t you want to see us grow?”

What did she mean? “W-well, yes, of course,” he agreed, fighting the urge to turn his head, nuzzle his face into her soft hand as it continued to stroke his temple, above his ear, “of course I want the p-practice to do well. To, uh...grow.” His thoughts drifted to a day, maybe not far away, of an office she’d built for him, of being surrounded by more women than he could count, all young and beautiful, all doting on him...and of course, all beholden to her.

Is that what she meant by wanting to “see us grow”?

“So, uh, sure…” he said, knowing again it was another little surrender, “hire whoever you want…” He knew this was reckless, foolish even, and could only hope beyond hope that this money from - what was it? Lean In? - would be enough.

Melissa - thrilled again but now keeping her grin in check - saw the doubt in his face. She understood this was hard on him, watching the reins of his business being taken by another, and knew she should...reward him.

She stroked his hair - oooo he had such nice hair - and thought to herself.

It was just like Abby said. This was a man, she considered, remembering the type of pictures he’d been hoarding on his computer, who needed a strong female figure. This was a man, remembering what he’d told her about his childhood, who craved a woman’s constant attention, unconditional affection. This was a man - it almost made her giggle - who needed a mommy.

Just last night in DM Ms. Zazanetti - oops, I’m supposed to call her ‘Sara’! - had told it to her straight, made her understand. It's not taboo that he’d been stockpiling pictures of beautiful, ultra-bosomy, giant women on his computer, but rather the reasonable needs of manchild who never really had a childhood. He had told it to her himself, the night at that bull-riding bar: that he “never really had a mother.” And she’d heard it from Rina - who come to find out used to work here, and was one of his old flings - he’d lost her at a very young age.

Omigod the poor thing!

She knelt down in front of him, heart growing in her chest as she looked deep into his eyes. The desperation, she knew, ran deep in his mind, looking for fully blossomed women. His breast obsession was a consequence of what he missed as a child, a toddler, an infant - being coddled, nurtured, loved. And, she reminded herself, it wasn’t just pictures of random huge, big-breasted women he’d had on his computer. There were also countless pictures of her. It was a significant moment, when she’d realized what she represented to him, what she could strive to be for him - even if his male pride keeps him from ever really expressing himself, admitting what he needs.

#motheryourman, remember?

Still gazing at him, wondering what he was thinking, she smiled to herself. Well, he’s not “your man” but - haha - close enough, right?

“You’ve been doing such a good job, being so strong,” she said to him, tenderly, taking one of his hands into both of hers and resting it on his lap, “especially with everything going on.”

”uhhh...what do u mean?” he asked. There was - good god - so much going on. But...looking into her eyes, he suddenly knew what she meant.

“When were you going to tell me? I had to hear it from Marisela,” she said, sounding a bit sad that he would not confide in her, about his troubles at home...or, rather, what used to be his home, “I thought we were friends…”

========================================

Thanks to GTScity reader @sherlock for inspirations and ideas - they really helped the post coalesce. And to FantasticMrMoose - fans may notice that a few passages are all but stolen right from "Sexy Lexie": awesome story!

#Growing Into the Job

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mismashedsocks · 4 years

Text

so riordan made a half assed lame excuse on his lazy/racist writing on piper yesterday and on top of that he made another one on samirah and i’m muslim so i am going to talk about it

damn i’m so sorry these people have been pushing you past your comfort zone about your wildly popular racist caricatures of minorities that have great impact on your young, impressionable target audience. while its fine that if he takes a break for his mental health he still needs to deal with these problems you can’t just take a break and hope they go away.

why does he think everyone is bullying him. if they talked in all caps, cussed at you, or didn’t stop bothering you, i’m sorry they’re just trying to get you to realize how racist your books are, which you keep refusing to believe. i can believe that a few of them were doing it for attention, but it couldn’t be the majority. and my god, god forbid people want you to write your books the way you preferred, without racist stereotypes. 🙈

you can set your boundaries but you keep ignoring the people, you don’t listen. like you put yourself out there as a writer you are open to criticism

why does he keep doing this to seem like the good guy. you give excuses and don’t do anything and just say that its up to you, you can think whatever you want 🥰🥰. like its such an obvious excuse not to take any action.

i’m sorry but no matter how many muslims you’ve interacted with you haven’t gotten the full experience and last time i checked teachers aren’t the kids best friends soo uhm. anyways the rest of it is just him telling his experience with muslimah students so its just there.

so uhm you just said your students ‘unwillingly’ become an ambassador to everyone she knew’. and then you went to talk to them about islam to make sure you were TEACHING THEM YOUR SOURCE MATERIAL CORRECTLY. i’m sorry imagine. these are kids not some scholars you go to consult. there are so many muslims all over the internet and youtube sharing their experiences for you to access on how to ‘represent their experience’ correctly. you’re the teacher here. picture this:as a muslilm, i teach at a public school and while teaching about Christianity in class, no i would double check or some dumb shit with the students. like educate yourself i’m sorry. anyways apparently he blames his mistakes on himself then goes on to deny he ever made any mistakes i can’t.

so this is a blatant lie. 99% of muslims i’ve met have never read all of sahih bukhari and sahih muslim. usually only scholars do that when they are studying islam for YEARS. and FIVE different interpretations of the quran on top of that. ok so sahih bukhari is 9 books that are over 300 pages each and sahih musilm is 7 volumes with also about 300+ pages each. and then the english versions of the quran are 600 pages. and he claims he read five of them. i’m so sorry but no he didn’t. he writes books so fast and he released mcga around the time toa was being released almost one book per year so he did not have a lot of spare time. the rest ig i can let slide. also and if he did do all of that why does he make so many mistakes in writing samirah. and even IF you accept his excuses reading ALL of this source material is great for teaching your class or whatever but not for writing a modern day muslim. you don’t need to lie to us rick ❤️

most of this is just describing what she’s like but his writing did also add in the model minority, smart kid trope. like no they don’t have to be a terrorist or a A+ student who is the best at everything. there is a middle ground to their personality.

i actually used to love his rep in sam. that’s how i got into the series. i saw a hijabi girl on his website. i got excited and read all of his books. i loved piper, leo, hazel, percy, annabeth, sadie, carter, nico, everyone. now that i look back i was younger and didn’t see anything wrong with it back then. its great that he tried to portray minorities but he did it so badly and now is just denying the faults that his now older readers are trying to tell him.

hey, uhm didn’t you read all of sahih bukhari and muslim? hmm i didn’t think so. anyways the way he dealt with it honestly wasn’t that bad. but the whole ‘whoops’. like why does he keep portraying himself as the innocent old white man just trying his best.

honestly how he wrote samirah as a hijabi was the dumbest thing i’ve ever read. its is totally fine if she wasn’t hijabi, many muslim girls aren’t, and that is their choice. but he decided to make her like a weird middle ground. it was so lazy and inconsistent. in the first book she says she wears it when she needs to, like in situations like going to the masjid. this was fine, since many muslim girls do that. then in the next books she wears it all the time except when she’s in valhalla for some reason. hijabi girls take of their scarves when they’re at home or with family, but making her claim the entirety of vallhalla as her family. that was just demeaning and stupid to me. it takes away its value. and i fucking hated that last sentence. for hijabis, their hijab is important and not a toy or weapon or a MAGIC ITEM. and then on top of that she would have to take it of to hide. he could’ve made it anything else. her hijab isn’t some token item istg.

i love how he admits that they are a big problem and abusive and usually engage with child marriages. i’m relatively he doesn’t understand what the people even meant by it. the practice is a problem that isn’t supposed to be seen in a nice light. the only possible way it could be slightly ok is that if ADULTS agree they 100% do not want to choose who they want to get married to and let their parents choose, and both sides agree. samirah was a child and he decided to make her wedding life decided since the age of 12. and it was ok because amir was conventionally attractive and she loved him. WHAT IF SHE DIDNT. this literally is a dangerous arranged marriage. and arranged marriages are not ok, and mostly perpetuated by victims of it who will end up passing it down their family lines. my parents got an arranged marriage and I HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM DISPLAY ANY SIGNS OF AFFECTION. arranged marriages are not a trope that your can turn around to be a quirky personality trait for your characters.

i’m sorry that’s not how arranged marriages work. most likely if she said something her grandparents would have shut her done and continued with the marriage, as that is what you usually happens. do not portray the small amount of consented, ‘happy’ arranged marriages as the majority. it is a huge problem that many desi/middle eastern cultures are trying to erase. even on top of that he writes situations where she’s going to be in trouble for acting up and ‘jeopardizing the marriage agreement’ and that her grandparents think she’s ‘lucky that she could get the fadlan family to agree to marry their son to her’. these statements are often used in forced and dangerous marriages, so don’t try and justify your actions. if you wanted to show traditional customs in a positive light, there are so many richer parts of samirah’s culture you could’ve focused on and you chose arranged marriage. 😻 all you’ve done is given parents and authority figures a westernized resource to justify arranged and forced marriages, especially with the minimal explanation on how the marriage isn’t forced in the actual books. and yes, your books do condone child marriage samirah is clearly deemed into this marriage ever since the young age of 12. she lived her life knowing she would marry amir. no one has only one crush throughout their life. imagine how she would’ve grown up. sorry you only consider opinions that align with those in you mind.

i’m going to be honest i did like that one scene it was written nicely and accurately but the explanation he gives just ruins the entire thing. the way he just if this strikes you as islamophobic, or samirah as a hurtful, uhm no explanation i just disagree 😽. the way you wrote her is a hurtful stereotype sorry you can’t see it.

oops, you did. too bad you don’t want to do anything about it.

why do you think people are painting you in a negative light, so many of your characters are written on hurtful and negative stereotypes. people aren’t painting it that way, you need to calm down w your ego and listen. dang i’m sorry your best is giving half-assed excuses and not actually doing anything. i’m even more sorry people are mad that a highly privileged author that has a lot of influence is done talking about his racist depictions of minorities in his books.

dang must be lucky to take a break from the social media, imagine what all the minorities you wrote about have to go with everyday weather they are on social media or not. people aren’t bullying you this is valid criticism you refuse to listen to.

fuck you

obviously these are my opinions do not judge every muslim based on what i’ve said come to me if you have a problem with it

anyways support jewish, muslim, black, brown, asian, hispanic, indigenous, lgbtq+, disabled, and other minority authors and creators.

#anti rr #fuck him at this point #samirah al abbas #she deserved so much better #i probably made so many spelling mistakes smh #long post #mcga #rr crit

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toonqueen · 3 years

Text

Duckvember 2020

--Ponder--

Linking to an old playlist of mine BUT also including why I have these songs on there. Kinda fits the ponder theme okay. I’m trying I’m so behind here *SOB*

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-BLrUhg7cOKMsu8bGh4CBh5C3EVXCUpy

This is my generic duck feels playlist I use when writing but I often have so many other playlists I use it's insaneeee but this is a nice beginning base until I get a feel for a story to make its own playlist haaaa.

**Joywave - Bad Dreams***

-Ominous feel that some shady end of the world stuff is happening song. One of the main things I put this song to is Magica having a premonition of something bad is going to happen. But she doesn’t have the best rep with powerful magic types and with hero types so she has to make a ragtag team willing to help her. Haaa. Mind you in my headcanon the De Spell family line started by a witch that had a really good future sight so Magica takes it seriously and I GUESS she has to like… stop the world from ending.

**M83 ft. HAIM - Holes in the Sky***

-Another ominous oh crap bad stuff is happening song wheee. I had an idea that I ended up using in a Duckverse RP of some of the alien hats from Darkwing being a different set of alien hats that were actual powerful witches. The RP I ended up having was for a parody of Hocus Pocus. What I attach this song to is where the hat set grab Magica, Gladstone, and an OC thats a powerful De Spell sibling (that's a whole other story.) That leaves Poe to defeat them save the Earth the usual. My headcanon for Poe is he cannot cast magic but has a wide knowledge of artifacts and spells. Could arm himself with some good magical artifacts. He ALSO would make a ragtag team to try to stop the 3 most powerful magic based people controlled by alien hats. That team would include Fethry and Gyro lol. Notice this song is a lot more postive than Magica’s Bad Dreams song because Poe’s being more positive about getting it done. Magica’s more ‘well we’re going to die anyways might as well TRY” and Poe is ‘ WE’RE GONNA DO THIS AND WE’RE GONNA MAKE IT OMG. Once I get over this crippling depression that I’m useless. Whee.”

**Do You Realize - Ursine Vulpine***

-Vague sad song for sad things. Main reason I had this song is for my Mighty Ducks the Animated Series headcanons for Drake Ducaine. I pretty much kill off all this family and friends in the past. You know, the war, saving stuff. SACRIFICING THEMSELVES SO HE CAN LIVE. His young daughter makes it. Am I not merciful.

**My Tears are Becoming the Sea - M83***

-Really acidy trippy sad song. Great for fighting elder gods. For my main RPing OC’s on Duckverse this goes with some scenes of their past. Other main thing I use it for is Mighty Ducks the Animated Series I have it for Wildwing’s death.. Haaaa. I kill him off in his 60’s when he has to help save the 2nd Gen team (All the kids of the first team.) Well you know. He’s like the only duck chars I kill off ‘youngish.’ I dunno why most of these story ideas came in high school FRICK.

**In A Heartbeat - In the House***

-I have loved this song from the second it was in 28 Days Later. I do not have one defined story line plot or character this goes to. I would put it on every song list I had if I felt like I could get away from it. EXCELLENT ATMOSPHERE.

**The Darkest Evening of the Year***

-Another great ominous atmosphere song. I stick this one with Gladstone but don’t put it on my actual Gladstone playlist for being too dark?!? I put it with him finding out what I headcanon the origins of his luck. AND OH BOY. I really want to give the vibe of that scene like some suspense/horror energy let me tell you.

**No Time for Caution - Hans Zimmer***

-Great like, ‘team prepares to fight a boss fight’ type music. Let's do this. We can fight an elder god. LETS GO!!!! But still that bit of dark tone like - hmmm we may not be successful. Ahhhhh.I also think of Tanya from Mighty Ducks working late fixing something or lawd taking care of a teammate gotta find a cure for something. They just gave this woman all the jobs. AGH.

**Happiness Does Not Wait - Olafur Arnalds***

-A sad yet happy tune. That mix of energy. This one I put with Grandma Duck. In my headcanon all her adult kids have since past but you know all her grandkids visit all the time. It's kinda weird that like, the whole gen in between was wiped out but uh, I have a reason plotted out for that. But you know, Grandma little sad all her kids are gone but sees them in her now adult grandkids ahhh.

**Low Gravity - Hugo Kant***

-Actually ModMad suggested this one to me when I shared this playlist with them when they made the “Over the Rainbow’ comic. Shared it because it really fit this playlist so I could not not share ahhh. Anyways. That's one of my top fav comics by Modmad, and actually in an unrelated way inspired some of the backstory for the two main OC’s I RP in Duckverse. Wheeee.

**Everything You Do is a Balloon - Boards of Canada***

-A good ominous ‘the hero has won but at what cost’ energy. This is a song I’ve had for ages and directly put to the abuse I put Drake Ducaine through. I’m so sorry. Weh. I literally have a separate playlist that is Drake Ducaine/Wildwing anxiety cuz I headcanon Wildwing the reincarnate of Drake Ducaine because of COURSE.

**Goodbye to a World - Small Dust/Porter Robinson Cover***

-I just love music like this. First used this song for Mighty Ducks because the previous life of Drake Ducaine I had be a little duck boy that showed kindness to a Saurian Goddess and she ended up taking the Duck side in whatever fight went down and well the rest is history which will I ever write a story for I dunno. And in the next life as Drake Ducaine the Goddess also reincarnated in a mortal body so they get to work together again yay. This is also one of the main themes I use for my Duck OC’s Felicity and Faustina. In RP land uh they’re from an alternate universe that got all ate up by an elder god and they were the only two survivors cuz some weird luck and magic runs in their family. Their version is a more trippy version here: https://youtu.be/HzuHAMg1Hng OH WAIT I’M WRONG THEIR MAIN THEME IS A DIFFERENT PORTER ROBINSON SONG HAAA still enjoy.

**Soldier - Fleurie***

-I use this song several times for Gladstone. Mainly for one story I DO plan to write someday I have so many parts of it done. Anyways he screws up big time and has to fix a problem while he still have luck that works on him, he needs to actually do something to solve the problem and its grueling and takes a long time and travel around the world and bad stuff just happening to those around him and AHHH. Anyways. Also a good song for Djinn in new Ducktales theres stories I have reason for his for him let me tell you someday. Ha.

**Battle Cry - Imagine Dragons***

-A great mello fight song for everything. Just. Some good shit. Heroes making sacrifices. Stuff going down. Hidden powers having to be used getting exposed but you GOTTA SAVE THE WORLD.

**Elephant Survival - Emancipator***

-A good song for villains to think about their feelings. I loved this song when I came across it. I put it to my headcanon for Negaverse Gladstone. And a little Gladstone in there too. There is a darker mix here: https://youtu.be/59A3k8tpPMI

**Do You Realize - The Flaming Lips***

-This song again but with a slight positive energy?!? Dying and seeing loved ones that passed on kinda vibe. BUT ALSO I abuse reincarnation tropes so bad. This is a good reincarnation trope song. Lawd.

**Saturn - Sleeping at Last***

-Roll Credits energy to a movie that ended not happy but not sad just the normal in between of life. There is a really good Poe De Spell short story I need to finish that makes me think of this song. I also put it to Drake Ducaine who supposedly dies of old age having saved and rebuilt Puckworld Society. That's a lot of pressure to put on a guy y’all. Also fits my abuse of reincarnate trope abuse. Also for some Djinn x Gene okay like they’re gonna adopt a lot of kids and all those kids are going to write stuff down to their kids like how Djinn writes stuff down and they’re gonna tell stories of their great great great great great grandparents Djinn and Gene forever OKAY.

Anyways, have some feels y'all.

#duckvember 2020 #duckvember #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #magica de spell #poe de spell #gladstone gander #negaverse #fethry duck #gyro gearloose #mighty ducks the animated series #wildwing #tanya vanderflock #drake ducane #drake ducaine #mdtas #duckverse

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bookswithelli · 4 years

Text

a darker shade of magic: review

synopsis:

Kell is one of the last Antari—magicians with a rare, coveted ability to travel between parallel Londons; Red, Grey, White, and, once upon a time, Black.

Kell was raised in Arnes—Red London—and officially serves the Maresh Empire as an ambassador, traveling between the frequent bloody regime changes in White London and the court of George III in the dullest of Londons, the one without any magic left to see.

Unofficially, Kell is a smuggler, servicing people willing to pay for even the smallest glimpses of a world they'll never see. It's a defiant hobby with dangerous consequences, which Kell is now seeing firsthand.

After an exchange goes awry, Kell escapes to Grey London and runs into Delilah Bard, a cut-purse with lofty aspirations. She first robs him, then saves him from a deadly enemy, and finally forces Kell to spirit her to another world for a proper adventure.

Now perilous magic is afoot, and treachery lurks at every turn. To save all of the worlds, they'll first need to stay alive.

review under the cut!

stars: ★★★★☆

First of all, although I rated this book 4 stars, there were some issues with it (mainly involving representation and characterization). I rated it 4 stars because I enjoyed reading it despite its issues, but I recognize that the mediocre representation may turn others away from this book.

characters & representation

Before I begin this section of the review, I would like to say that I am not visually impaired and therefore do not have any authority on that subject. My comments on the treatment of Lila's missing eye are merely based on my own observations and what I have heard from visually impaired people on the topic.

Lila:

A cross-dressing thief and aspiring pirate with a penchant for knives, Lila Bard brings to mind the likes of Inej Ghafa from Leigh Bardugo's Six of Crows and Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean. There were times when I really liked Lila; she can be sassy and morally questionable which is always interesting to see when well done. However, her character had a few issues that I wanted to address.

“Delilah Bard looked like a king. No...she looked like a conqueror.” pg. 289

When will fantasy authors stop romanticising conquerors and colonization?! This may be a smaller issue since aside from White London (which is villainized) there is no mention of it in the overarching plot, but this line just really bothered me. It makes me think that V.E. Schwab is a fan of adult and YA fantasy authors like Sarah J. Maas and others who write their main characters to be colonizers and romanticize it in the process. I don’t think this line was necessary at all, and I wish the second sentence had been removed or modified to something a little less problematic (e.g. she looked like a pirate/captain/etc.)

"How did you lose it...your eye?" -Master Tieren, pg. 327

It is revealed near the end of the book that Lila has been missing an eye for as long as she can remember, and she wears a glass eye as a replacement. This is all well and good, but the consequences of her impaired vision are never explored. The only reason the reader knows that Lila is missing an eye is because the author tells them. The narrative never discusses how Lila's lack of an eye affects her day to day life, and it's only brought into the story when it is needed for the plot.

It’s also worth mentioning that Lila is the only female character with a large role in this book, and no matter how “feminist” her character is, there’s not a lot of women in this book that are portrayed positively and with depth.

Rhy:

I actually really liked Rhy and I loved his relationship with Kell. I love sibling love in books and we so rarely get positive sibling relationships, so this was nice to see! It’s also really important to have queer people of color in books. However, I don’t think Rhy’s character is good bi/pan representation (I will refer to him as bi in this review for the sake of brevity, but it’s worth mentioning that neither term is mentioned so Rhy could canonically identify as either).

“He would flirt with a nicely upholstered chair, and he never takes anything seriously.” -Kell, pg. 254

As a queer girl who has identified as bisexual in the past and may in the future, this is bad bi rep 101. Schwab is perpetuating the stereotype of the “promiscuous bi”, or one who flirts and/or sleeps with everyone and everything. This is not a bad characteristic in itself, but it is harmful bi rep because that is the way every bi character is portrayed in media. It reinforces the idea that bisexual people in real life are all like this, and it also reinforces biphobes’ points of view when they say that bisexual people are more likely to cheat because they sleep with more people. This is pretty much the most common stereotype of a bisexual person, so while I doubt that Schwab intended to be harmful in her portrayal of Rhy, it shows that she did not do much research on LGBT+ rep when writing her characters. I do know that some bi people were not bothered by this; however, I believe that writers should stay away from stereotypes, especially when writing characters that are marginalized. Even though promiscuity is not an inherently bad trait, it is harmful when applied to bisexual people because it reinforces real peoples’ beliefs and affects real life bisexuals. This is especially important here because Rhy is the only narrative-confirmed LGBT+ character in the first book. It's not the worst representation I've seen, since Rhy does have a personality outside his flirtatiousness and promiscuity (in fact, it's confirmed that this is a coping mechanism for him) but it's certainly not the best, and I'm just tired of seeing bisexual people represented this way in fiction.

Kell:

I know a lot of people who didn’t like Kell very much, and that is understandable. However, I found him really compelling. It’s refreshing to see a male lead in this genre who’s not jacked and a brooding asshole whose only redeeming quality is his dick size. He’s definitely moody, but not to the point where he becomes an abusive alpha male type guy (yes, I am aware that this is a very low bar). I genuinely enjoyed his character because he’s flawed. He’s stubborn and moody but he’s incredibly caring and he genuinely wants to help people. He feels alienated from his family so he rebels and gets himself in trouble. His character is written well because he’s not perfect by any means, but he’s still likeable and you still root for him.

Holland:

Holland is what every YA love interest wishes they were. Honestly. He’s given no excuses for his actions, and yet he is still sympathetic. You understand that he is under the control of Astrid and Athos, but you also understand that all he has done for years is carry out their orders, and that changes a person. His story is heartbreaking, but that doesn’t change what he has done. He knows it, Kell knows it, Lila knows it, the reader knows it. Honestly, if he were in a YA fantasy romance, I bet Holland would be the love interest; his female “mate” would change him for the better, and he would never face the consequences of his actions. That makes his arc in this story all the more enjoyable. Holland is one of my favorite characters of all time, and not because he’s a perfect “book boyfriend” or whatever, but because his story and character are genuinely interesting and executed well.

worldbuilding

I loved the worldbuilding in this book. There was a bit of an info-dump in the beginning, but I’m willing to look past that because the world was so engaging and interesting that I forgot about the dense first chapter once I got past it. Each London has a distinct feel, and they are all almost tangible. The descriptions of each made me feel like I was in the Londons along with Kell and Lila. It seems like the system would be complicated, but Lila sums it up well:

“There’s Dull London, Kell London, Creepy London, and Dead London.” -pg. 198

After the initial info-dump, Schwab weaves information about the magic system seamlessly through the book, leaving enough mystery for the reader to wonder at what might happen in the next books, but never leaving out so much that the reader is confused. I really appreciated the rules that existed around magic. It’s draining, and Antari magic requires blood, which means there is a limit to how much you can perform at once. Magic is seen to affect the world beyond the characters and their main conflict, which I was very happy about as well. There are too many fantasy novels where the magic system has no rules and only exists to further the plot, but in this world you can see it everywhere. The politics of Red London and White London are affected by magic, even where it is not necessarily relevant to the plot. You can see small amounts of magic being performed in the streets of Red London: spells to protect from thieves, etc. Magic is normal for the people in Red London, and it is treated as such in the text.

pacing & plot

This book flew along. I’ve read it multiple times now, and every time, I can’t stop until I finish. And then I want to move along to the next book immediately. It manages to keep up a great pace and still build up to an exciting climax. Schwab’s lyrical writing is not flowery, but it draws the reader in and carries them along the story effortlessly. It’s very engaging and accessible language, which makes it a good stepping stone into adult fantasy (especially if you’re coming from YA).

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. The representation that it gets praised so highly for is disappointing, but aside from that I enjoyed most of the characters and the writing was beautiful. The plot and world were engaging and made me want to read the second book immediately (even though I’m on my 3rd or 4th reread). I would recommend this book for fans of YA fantasy who want to get into adult fantasy - this book is categorized as adult, but I found it a lot easier to read than other adult fantasies. For me, this book is a reminder that you can recognize the flaws in a book and still enjoy it, so remember to stay critical, even of your favorite books :)

#adsom #a darker shade of magic #kell maresh #lila bard #rhy maresh #holland vosijk #ve schwab #booklr #review

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cilliankelly · 3 years

Text

text 📱 cillian & ellie.

Discord text thread featuring: cillian & @robinscnfm

When: december 25th

Mentions: @judetaylorhq @loganstjames @iitsace

Description: ellie texts cillian to wish him merry xmas. they discuss their relationships and ellie encourages cillian to try and be better, but for himself, not for anyone else.

Trigger Warnings: insecurities galoooore but i think that’s it.

ellie.

merry christmas dumbass 🤩 hope u had a good time and that your leg is better ❤️ you’re awesome buddy

Cillian

thanks els bells

i know i don’t always act like i do, but i really do appreciate you and shit. thanks for everything and merry christmas

also i’m sorry about your couch

ellie.

i know you do ❤️ no problem. I really did take you in just to do you a solid, buddy

no problem 😂

i might not even need to get one. Yknow, logan asked me to move in and if i do, probably the less furniture the better. U know i have enough shit as it is lmao

Cillian

👀

does this mean you’re seriously considering it?

moving in with the boyfriend?

ellie.

honestly? I kind of am

i have until mid january to think about it

and i like his apartment, plus our schedules don’t always line up because he has a day job and i have a morning job and a night job, which makes hanging out impossible sometimes

Cillian

these all seem like very sensible conclusions

ellie.

They are. I mean. Its kind of scary im ngl

Cillian

definitely scary. but good i think.

ellie.

im not used to living with anyone which definitely freaks me out

and u know i love my crappy ass apartment

but.... its also exciting idk

Cillian

no i totally get it.

i mean it’s a little different for me bc until recently i didn’t really feel like i ever had a home

but it’s nice. it’s big and it’s kind of scary but it’s also really great.

ellie.

ohhhh wait wait 👀

are u moving in w .. someone?

its such a nice apartment too im ngl

and he doesnt let me pay for anything which wasnt an issue when we were 18 but now it makes me feel ✨very guilty✨

Cillian

fuck tell me about it

and i mean... yeah. he gave me a key for christmas

ellie

omg im so happy for you!!!!

thats so so awesome

fuckin scary too but im excited for u

Cillian

thanks. i desperately trying to not fuck it up anymore than i already have. but i feel good about it.

ellie.

he wants to marry me

Cillian

holy shit

i know you guys dated in high school but you’ve been together how long?

ellie.

a fuckin MOOD but hes lucky to have u. Yall are a good match

Cillian

wow thanks. that’s actually like, good to hear.

i kind of feel like i magically won the best friend/boyfriend lottery or something

ellie.

this time around? About a month. Overall? Like almost three years

but no. What he said was that he still had the ring he’d bought back then

and that he wanted to give it to me whenever i was ready to be asked

it fuckin scares me how much he loves me idk what i did to deserve it

U SAID BOYFRIEND

Cillian

sounds like we really are in the same boat

wait what

ellie.

im so happy

yeah we are. Idk ive never been with anyone who loved me so... up front and decisively

Cillian

it’s fucking terrifying

ellie.

it is

Cillian

like i’m really happy???? but i look at him and my chest gets all tight and all i can think about is how much it’s gonna suck to lose him.

also i’m a bit buzzed on wine right now and this conversation is staying RIGHT HERE eleanor.

i have a rep to maintain

ellie.

THATS LOVEEEEE CILLIANNN

and idk im conflicted. He told me he wanted to pick it up where we left off and i told him i wanted to take it slow, and he agreed

and i do want to take it slow....... but oof falling back to the place where we used to be before It happened has been so easy its fuckin scary

Cillian

and oh my god shut uuuuuuuuuuup

i can’t even imagine.

ace is back in town and that’s been... weird

ellie.

IM NOT GONNAAAA U LOOOVE UR BF

my resolve to go slow with him is getting weaker and weaker i am such a mess

i know. I think i saw her the other day. Hows everything on that front?

Cillian

i don’t know. fine? a little awkward. i don’t have feelings for her still but like. i see her and it reminds me how shitty i was. and still am.

ellie.

and dont worry. Yes people leave but not the ones that really love you.... and i have a feeling u found it

Cillian

i think it’s really bumming him out that like... nobody knows we’re... together.

ellie.

yeah why is that?

Cillian

i don’t know...

telling people makes it like... real.

and jude thinks that by not telling people it makes it easier for me to take it all back and regress or whatever

but i just... ellie i’m like positive that i’m gonna fuck this up. and i don’t know if i want to share it. with anyone really. not when it’s this good.

i don’t know if that makes any sense

ellie.

but its important to him

Cillian

he says it’s fine but i know it’s not.

ellie.

and listen

theres a strong possibility you WILL fuck it up and theres also a strong possibility that you will NOT fuck it up. No one knows.

and theres a possibility that he’ll fuck it up

or maybe something else will come in between you two and pull you apart

no one fucking knows ok dude

Cillian

jesus ellie, not making this any easier over here

ellie.

and you’re wasting the sweetest part of a relationship by thinking about the end

so like. The most u can do is stop thinking so far ahead, stop getting in your own way, and every day make the conscious decision to show him you love him and to not to fuck it up. Thats all any of us can do

Cillian

i don’t deserve him, i really don’t.

i’ve never felt so useless in my entire life.

ellie.

youre not useless

but i get you, i really do

Cillian

i can’t even fucking walk correctly. i can’t work. i can’t do anything

and i don’t know that i’ve ever like, really wanted to be better. but fuck. he deserves more than this.

ellie.

no no dont think like that

if you want to do anything about becoming more educated or some shit like that you have to do it for YOU because YOU deserve better

Cillian

it was hard enough the first time around. i’m just not cut out for it.

ellie.

i just think you havent found the right motivation

Cillian

and what’s that? the right motivation?

ellie.

idk how to describe it

like when i was in college i would think about graduating and being independent and it got me through boring classes and shit like that

so yeah. maybe what you need is motivation

Cillian

i know this is dumb. and it’s gonna get me an eye roll or something. but it’s just so much easier... to not.

ellie.

no its not dumb

but like. sometimes the things that are worth it arent the easy ones

Cillian

i just don’t want to fail again.

ellie.

bad news, youre gonna

Cillian

you’re all sunshine and rainbows this evening

ellie.

im tipsyyy

and also giving it to u straight

ur gonna fail bc failing is just. part of the human experience

but !! ur also gonna succeed my dude

Cillian

i guess you don’t know if you don’t try.

ellie.

also idk i think ur fear is valid and it happens to me too

so i just think itd be bullshit to tell u like <3 ur not gonna fail <3 everything will work out <3

Cillian

yeah. i wouldn’t believe you if you said that anyways.

ellie.

yeah exactly so like

the best thing i can say is that when you think that youre gonna fail just. try to think the opposite

Cillian

easier said than done

but i appreciate the advice

ellie.

yeah i know it is

no problem buddy <3 anytime

#texts → cillian & ellie #discord #i love these two sm

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orionsangel86 · 4 years

Note

What if Saileen and Destiel both go subtextually canon a la Legend of Korra? It be interesting to see an ending where the brother's break their stifling codependency and get to live safer lives, a little bit away from each other, but with someone in the know about hunting. They still have each other, but also a different kind of support/friendship. Also, if neither pairing is confirmed textually, then the CW could avoid the "big bad bisexuality" story they seem to be afraid of.

Well I think that the groundwork laid during Sam’s speech in 11x04 has always remained an underlying goal of Dabb’s endgame plans. I am very positive now that both brothers will end the show with their respective partners by their side - whether canonically romantic or just subtextually done. I have maintained my view since my first spec post on the topic.

As you said, the main character purpose of the final season imo is for the brothers to break free of their toxic codependency. This has been further reinforced by basically making it the big bad villains desired endgame. I mean... IT COULDN’T BE MORE PERFECTLY SET UP TO BE SUBVERTED.

We aren’t going to get some gross toxic murder suicide the way Chuck wants. Now with Eileen back for good (because they aren’t going to kill of the disabled rep that they just brought back once again therefore rendering her entire story pointless and further angering their fanbase. Even Bucklemming ain’t that dense ya know.) and in a prime position to develop a relationship with Sam, not to mention having Sam in a prime position as Rowena’s heir and protege putting him potentially on course to play powerful Witch!King...

Then we have a Castiel who is slowly losing his powers (which he better get the choice to regain by the end and reject because he needs to CHOOSE to be human) and with a Dean who needs to metaphorically kill the ghost of his former self (which was nicely mirrored through him killing the older witch siblings ghost in 15x06)...

Basically so far its like Dabb is ticking every box on my mental checklist in order to build towards the endgame I believe we will get. I’m sure it won’t be perfect, and there will still be surprises along the way, but I’m feeling pretty confident and positive right now.

The one thing I can’t really explain my feelings on is actual textually explicit Destiel. I feel like it is an elephant in the room right now that the show at this point won’t ever be able to avoid. Especially not after this break up story. Dean’s explanation better be damn good in 15x09. I do disagree with you on the “big bad bisexuality” story though. There is no way they can avoid that. Even by keeping Saileen subtextual. The two pairings are separate and don’t act as shields for the other. if Saileen stays subtextual too fine but that doesn’t negate 11 years of DeanCas build up and 15 years worth of Bi!Dean subtext. If they don’t bring Dean out of the closet, I’ll be pissed, whatever else happens.

Right now I’m very unsure on that point. I feel like we could be heading for an ambiguous Destiel endgame without actually ever textually confirming Dean’s bisexuality or romantic love for Cas. I think that it will be pushed to the point that even the most staunch heteronormative audience will be raising an eyebrow and saying “that’s kinda gay” but nothing more will be said about it. I don’t think we will ever hear Dean actually say the words “I swing both ways” or even admit to having an ex boyfriend - though if this is gonna happen it will happen next episode and the way I feel right now is that if it DOESN’T happen next episode it won’t happen at all. Therefore Destiel will remain ambiguous to the end.

But what do I know. We literally just heard that Misha was surprised because the ending was more happy than he thought it would be (at SPNJAX right now) so he has changed his tune since the summer. He said it will be happy but also a little sad and my spec supports this 100%.

I can’t say anything more about Destiel. Right now I’m just eagerly anticipating each new episode. I haven’t been this excited about the show since early season 13 and we all know how that went post episode 6. I just really hope they don’t let me down and this time around, I have a feeling that Dabb will do us proud, even if he doesn’t get the corporate greenlight for explicit Destiel/Bi!Dean.

#destiel #saileen #bi!dean #spn speculation #season 15 #spn endgame speculation #spn endgame positive #destiel dreaming #my thought #asks #anon #Anonymous

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yougoodfahm · 4 years

Text

Chapter 5 – Ping Pong and Recklessness

Auranis AU

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4]

Wordcount: 3005 words

Warnings: sibling arguing, let me know if I need to add more

Summary: After signing up for their new jobs, Roman and Remus attend their first Community Meeting where the particularly charismatic president really wows Remus. Later, Roman runs into Virgil and they hang out for a while during free time and dinner. Roman and Remus get into a small argument about recklessness and breaking the rules after only a few days in their new life.

Read it on ao3!

After breakfast the next day, Roman and Remus headed over to the Community Center. Roman glanced over to his brother who was walking beside him, and asked, “So, I know you said you were deciding between working in the Kitchen or on Maintenance, what did you end up choosing?”

Remus grinned wildly. “I’m gonna go with the Kitchen, they said they work with fire all the time!” Roman tried to smile supportively but he couldn’t hide his slight grimace. Remus and fires had always turned out poorly in the past, but hopefully he’d get some actual proper training so it wouldn’t result in too many accidents.

They walked inside the building and walked towards their retrospective booths. Each of the dozen or so booths from the day before were once again set up, this time without any reps and with tablets laying on each table, waiting for the new recruits. Roman headed over to the Crafters table and added his name to the list.

His eyes slid over towards the Greenhouse table briefly, but he snapped them back to his own booth as soon as he realized they had wandered. No, he was to be a Crafter. Maybe he’d be able to visit the Greenhouses or something, see those gorgeous plants and enchanting atmosphere again. But he reassured himself with the memory of how happy the workers in the Crafters Workshop had seemed when they had gone on the tour the day before. That would be him. That was where he was meant to go and where he was built to thrive.

Roman pulled his shoulders back and stepped away from the table to let someone else put their name down on the list. He gave a polite smile to the person before he turned to go make sure Remus had figured out what to do. Roman spotted his brother across the room, waiting for someone else to finish signing up.

Roman walked over and stood next to Remus, bumping his shoulder before he said, “Hey, rat. You just write your name on the next available line, by the way.”

Remus gave him a hard look and replied, “Yeah, I know, Roman. I could’ve figured that out myself.”

Roman was slightly taken aback before responding, “Oh, ok. Sorry. I just wanted to be sure.” Remus’s expression softened slightly as he glanced around to the couple of people milling around the Kitchen booth. Roman said, “Alright, well, I’ll leave you to it then.”

Roman backed away awkwardly and headed over to where about two dozen or so people had gathered in a group. They had all finished signing up for their new jobs and were now just waiting for the next part of orientation to get going. He found two other people who had also signed up to be Crafters and started chatting with them, though honestly at this point all this small talk was starting to blend together. He had only ever known a handful of people during his whole life before coming to Auranis, and there were almost no situations where one would just chat with a stranger. It was strange, luckily it wasn’t too hard, but it was getting a little exhausting.

After about ten minutes or so, nearly everyone had finished signing up and had joined the large group in the center of the room. All the signups would be processed throughout the day and the new citizens would start their first day of work the next day, which was a Monday. Then, there would be a couple of days of training and people would figure out which specialty would be a good fit for them if they had chosen a career with specialties.

After spending the majority of the day touring the third level and going to more orientation meetings, it was finally time for the new citizens to attend their first Community Meeting at five o’clock. They were all led back to the Community Center, which was now filled with a couple thousand chairs and many, many people getting ready to fill them.

The seats were pretty packed together so everyone was able to fit inside the space, and Roman was honestly amazed by how many people actually were able to be in that room at the same time. Basically everyone who lived in Auranis had to come to these Community Meetings each week, so there should be nearly five thousand people all seated in this huge room.

Roman and Remus found a seat towards the middle of the room, along with some other people from their orientation group that they had chatted with throughout the past couple of days. Once basically everyone was situated and the noise level in the room had lowered a bit, a fairly short man wearing a black hat and a nice blazer over a golden-colored vest and a dark shirt. He was also wearing some golden gloves that matched his vest, plus black pants and shoes. It all seemed unnecessarily fancy compared to everyone else dressed in t-shirts and pants, the occasional jacket or other clothing item.

The man cleared his throat, and the room fell silent. Roman glanced around in wonder. The man began, “Hello, everyone, and welcome to the new citizens who are joining us today for their first Community Meeting. I am President Janus, and one of the co-founders of Auranis. I am so glad to see all of you here today, and I hope everything has been satisfactory so far. Please do let us know if there’s anything we can help you with.”

Remus let out a small but reverent, “Woah,” as he listened to the man speak, seemingly entranced by his very presence.

Meanwhile, Roman couldn’t help but wonder who “we” was referring to. The man —President Janus, apparently— seemed a little too high-and-mighty to be personally taking constructive criticisms from the everyday citizen. He supposed that the Help Center was there, and the Community Council was intended to improve the community, but neither of them really seemed like the right place to bring any complaints that one might have. Regardless, he tried to clear his mind since it was pointless to think about that. He didn’t really have any issues yet, and he hoped that things would stay like that. Roman hoped that he would never need to figure out who “we” was referring to, if anyone.

Janus continued to address the crowd of intent listeners as he provided updates and reminders about various aspects of life in Auranis. Throughout his speech, Roman noticed Remus out of the corner of his eye, practically hanging onto every word. His wide eyes were trained so intensely on the stage in front of them, more focused than Roman had ever seen his brother before. Remus’s chin was propped up on one of his hands, his elbow balanced on his knee. His mouth hung open just slightly in a look of pure awe and admiration.

Roman nudged his brother with his elbow, posing an eyebrow raise in an attempt to ask what was up with him. Remus looked over at him with eyes that were positively filled with wonder. Almost… worship-like. He mouthed the words ‘He’s amazing,’ to Roman and then drew his eyes back towards the stage. A pit started to form in Roman’s stomach. Something just didn’t rub him the right way about this, but he couldn’t quite place what it was.

Nonetheless, Roman tried to once again clear his head for the remainder of the talk. When President Janus had finished and began to leave the stage, the crowd erupted suddenly into cheers, with Remus apparently trying to cheer the absolute loudest. Roman had to cover his ears as it became a bit too loud right next to him for his own comfort levels.

Roman shot a hard look at his brother, who just tilted his head and asked, “What?” Roman just shook his head slightly and looked away, not wanting to dampen Remus’s spirit too much. He didn’t technically have a reason to be upset at him, after all. Everything was fine. Everything should be great, actually. Everything WAS great.

All of the people slowly started to file out of the room towards all areas of the compound. Many people headed up to the first level for the hour of free time that most citizens had before dinner. Some people had to work, depending on their shifts, but the majority finished work at four o’clock.

Roman decided to head up to the Rec Center on the first level, following the crowds up the elevators. Remus had disappeared somewhere, and honestly Roman was kind of glad to not have to hear him ramble about either how great President Janus was or how much he liked Logan. Remus could just be a bit too invested in certain people, sometimes.

They had taken a tour of the first level the day before, but they had gone through the Rec Center so quickly that Roman hadn’t really been able to absorb what was in there and he wanted to check it out. When he reached the entrance, he started wandering around and looking at everything around him. There were a bunch of tables set up with chess sets and other board games, and some pool tables. In a side room there was a small-ish climbing wall along with some other exercise-type activities that seemed far more fun than the gyms in each of the blocks.

He went back into the main space and continued exploring. He saw some booth seating all along the far wall, and some other comfortable-looking chairs and beanbag cushions peppered throughout the room for people to relax in. Roman weaved between different activities, taking it all in as people started to fill the space.

As he reached a corner with some ping pong tables, he noticed a figure clad curled up in one of the beanbags nearby wearing all black. They were tucked around a book, apparently absorbed in its contents since they didn’t even notice Roman until he spoke aloud.

“Hey, Virgil! What’cha got there?”

Virgil nearly leapt out of their skin, almost decking Roman’s lower leg out of reflex. They quickly regained their composure and placed their book on the floor, trying to ignore Roman’s teasing laughter.

“Oh my god you scared me,” they said, running a hand through their hair which fell in loose waves around their shoulders rather than in their usual ponytail.

“Yeah, I kind of gathered that,” Roman chuckled, sitting down on the floor next to Virgil. “Though I should probably thank you for restraining yourself from bruising the hell out of my shins.”

Virgil rolled their eyes and Roman saw a slight grin tug at the edge of their mouth. “Oh, shut up,” they muttered.

Roman smiled and asked, “Anyway, you didn’t answer my question: what’cha got there?”

Virgil’s eyes lit up as they grabbed the book and showed the cover to Roman. “It’s my favorite book, actually. I’ve read all of this author’s books, and they’re all great, but this one is definitely the best in my opinion. You should totally read it sometime,” they said excitedly. Ok, clearly he had hit a jackpot with this conversation topic.

After the two of them talked for a little while about books and reading —a shared passion between them, thankfully— Roman remembered the rest of the room and came up with an idea. He sat up a little and asked, “Do you wanna play ping pong before we have to go down to dinner?”

Virgil nodded and agreed. Roman stood up and offered a hand to Virgil who was slightly struggling to get out of the beanbag chair, though they were clearly trying not to show it too much. They looked up at the proffered hand and after a moment of hesitation, took it. Roman pulled them to standing, and then stepped back and let go of their hand. Both of them smiled a little but glanced around awkwardly for a second before remembering what they had planned to do.

Roman led Virgil over to the closest ping pong table and grabbed one of the paddles and a ping pong ball from the center of the table while Virgil grabbed the other paddle. They played for about half an hour, talking a little here and there but mostly just focusing on the game and trying not to make fools of themselves in front of the other. Neither of them were particularly good at the game, but they both were good enough that it was pretty fun and had a twinge of competition.

At seven o’clock, both of their Motives beeped to remind them that dinner was starting. They put things back where they had found them, Virgil grabbed their book, and they headed downstairs with wide grins and slightly flushed faces.

Roman followed Virgil into the Dining Hall, they both got a rice dish with vegetables from one of the food stations and sat down at a table along one of the walls. The whole meal was filled with jokes, getting to know each other better, and eating the surprisingly good food. Roman was glad he had trusted Virgil’s taste, since getting the rice dish had been Virgil’s suggestion.

Although the conversation was certainly enjoyable, Roman still wanted to know so much more about the mysterious person sitting in front of him. They hadn’t really talked about anything super personal, staying fairly surface-level. Of course, Roman didn’t want to push them too much in case that made them uncomfortable or something, but that still didn’t stop his curiousness. He hoped that he would earn more insight eventually, that one day they’d feel comfortable enough with Roman to tell him more. One day at a time, though. Thinking too far ahead again, as usual.

Once dinner had wrapped up and they were walking towards C block, Roman asked if Virgil had anything planned for their free time in their block. Virgil gave a small smile and replied, “Yeah, actually, I have some stuff that I have to work on.”

Roman looked down at his hands and nodded, “Oh, ok, yeah that’s cool. We should hang out another time, then, if that’s ok with you?”

Virgil glanced over at Roman and said, “Yeah, that’s definitely ok with me.” They reached Virgil’s apartment and they said, “See you later, Roman,” as they ducked inside their apartment after casting a dazzling smile towards him. Roman trudged upstairs to his own apartment, which was pretty close by. He had hoped that they’d be able to hang out more, so now he wasn’t really sure what to do until he got tired.

When Roman opened his door, he was greeted by Remus… and Logan? They were sitting at the small table to the left of the room. “Hey, uh, what’s going on? Don’t you live in B Block? Won’t we get in trouble for you being in the wrong block?” he said in confusion, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it.

Logan chewed his lip slightly, looking slightly nervous as Remus replied happily, “Don’t worry about it! He can get back pretty easily since it’s just one block over.” Logan looked down at his hands which were folded on the table in front of him.

Roman paused to think for a moment. “Are you sure that’s ok? I really don’t want us to get in trouble. Or Logan, for that matter. Why can’t y’all just hang out tomorrow? It’s only our third day here and you’re already breaking rules again, Remus.” He started to feel stressed and began pacing between the door and the beds.

Remus just brushed off his concern with a careless flick of the hand and said, “If you’re gonna be so uptight about it, just go to the gym or something. Then if we get caught —which we won’t— you don’t have to be here for it.”

Roman glared at his reckless brother but decided that would be his best option so he quickly changed into his workout clothes in the bathroom. He knew that once Remus got stuck on an idea like this, there was no persuading him otherwise. It would be a wasted effort. He knew, because this was certainly not the first time something like this had happened. But it felt so different here. This was putting both of their entire futures in Auranis on the line, and for what? To hang out with Logan for a little bit more? First it started with this and then Roman knew it could only get worse from here.

He was seething as he stepped out into the room again, glaring daggers at Remus, his brother who was putting both of their lives in danger for something as silly as this. Remus rolled his eyes as Roman stomped out, shoving the door closed behind him.

Once he reached the block’s gym, he already started to feel a little better. The exertion from his workout also helped, and by the time he returned to the apartment about two hours later he just felt drained. No more anger. Probably. Maybe a tiny bit, but it was more towards the normal amount of anger he felt towards his brother.

When he got back inside, the lights were off and Remus was already asleep. Logan was gone, thankfully. Even though he seemed like a cool enough guy, Roman just didn’t want to put up with whatever was going on between him and Remus. It just felt really weird, and Roman wasn’t entirely sure why. He didn’t feel very sure of a lot of things lately, but that didn’t matter much right now.

Now, he needed to get plenty of beauty sleep so that tomorrow could be as wonderful as possible! It was his first day as a Crafter, and he could hardly wait. Pretty much as soon as Roman’s head hit the pillow he was out like a light, letting the grace of sleep fall over him.

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4]

Taglist:

@cemmy

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

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seasonofthegeek · 5 years

Text

No Other Choice, Part 2

For @miraculouspaon and @cheeseeatingtrashmonster <3

Parts 1, 2:

They walked towards the bus in silence and rode to the storage unit in a similar fashion. Felix was making a small pile in the middle of the room as Nino leaned against the open door when he finally spoke.

“I told Adrien it was you.”

Nino straightened and felt his cheeks warm. “Oh?”

“He’s the only other person who knows and I swore him to secrecy.” Felix paused in placing a picture frame of him and his brother in a box. “He said he was really happy for me, for us. I think he actually meant it. He cares for you a lot so somehow it felt like it meant more.”

“Adrien usually means what he says,” Nino agreed, an unfamiliar nervous sensation beginning in his gut. “It makes being his friend easy.”

Felix half-turned towards Nino and hesitantly met his eyes. “Do you really think we can make this work?”

Nino thought about what his mother had once told him about meeting his father for the first time. She said she was nervous and upset and an anxious mess and then he looked at her as if for the first time someone was really seeing her for the person she was, and everything fell into place. Maybe some soulmates weren’t completely accidental in assignment. Maybe…

Nino took in Felix’s anxious expression and flipped it in what he hoped was a calm one on his own face. “Yeah, I really do.”

As if his answer was too much to handle, Felix returned his attention to his work. “I don’t understand how you can be so casual about this.”

“I don’t feel very casual right now. I did just ask a relative stranger to join me in my very small living space.”

“I suppose that’s true. I don’t think I’m a stranger though. You’ve known me as long as you’ve known Adrien.”

Nino shifted away from the doorway and moved to one of the stacks of boxes. “Yeah, but Adrien and I have hung out for years and learned stuff about each other. You and I never had that kind of relationship.” He caught the tension radiating off the other man and quickly continued. “But this will give us time to get to know each other.”

“It’s not too late to simply sign the papers,” Felix reminded him without turning around.

“Would it help you if I went through some of these boxes or do you need to do them all on your own?” Nino ignored his comment and moved to a box labeled “kitchen”. “Since we’ll be living above a restaurant and I already get all the secondhand stuff, I don’t think you’ll need anything from here unless there’s something you really want.”

“There’s nothing of importance to me, no. I’m not very good with cooking, so you’re aware.”

“You’re in luck then because I am.” Nino took his answer as permission to keep moving along the labels. “I have bedding, of course, and one extra set of sheets, but if you like yours more, we can bring them with us and change them out.”

Felix half-turned in his crouched position. “The sheets are practically new and a high thread count. They’re king sized.”

“Your bedding it is then. Uh, I only have the one bed. It’s a queen so…I mean, there is a couch but it’s kind of old and I’m not sure…” Nino struggled to get his point across and kept his back to Felix. He knew he was blushing but couldn’t seem to stop. He hadn’t fully considered what bringing Felix into his small apartment meant.

“How much closet space am I going to have?”

Nino winced but was grateful not to have to concentrate on the sleeping situation for the moment. “There isn’t a closet really, but I use a makeshift wardrobe thing I bought for a decent price at a thrift store. We could probably find another one similar to it. I can make some room in mine until we find one though.”

“I see.”

“I told you it wasn’t much.”

Felix finally looked back at Nino. “Sorry. I do appreciate this gesture since you’re being so stubborn about signing the papers.”

“Somehow you’re the homeless one and it still sounds like you’re the one doing me a favor by waiting on nulling our soulmate agreement.”

“An agreement is something the people involved actually agree on,” Felix corrected. “This is a decree that was made without input from either of us.”

“Yeah, yeah. Do you need any of these boxes of books?”

“Yes.”

“Which ones?” When he didn’t receive an answer, Nino turned back to look at Felix and was surprised to see a slightly panicked look in his eyes. “All of them?” he prodded.

“If there’s room…”

“There isn’t.”

“Ah.”

His resolve crumbled. “But we can take them with us a few at a time and fit them where we can.”

Felix ducked his head shyly. “Thank you. That’s very…nice.”

“I’m a nice guy.”

“Hmmm.” ___

Felix walked around the small apartment and wasn’t sure how to feel. A third of the area was filled with neatly stacked shelves and boxes of supplies for the restaurant below. A messy bed was pushed against one wall with an ancient nightstand and lamp by one side. The couch looked as if its springs would stab anyone brave enough to sit on it and the kitchenette was small and dated. There was a desk shoved against the one window and held a laptop and various bits of speakers and recording equipment. It was obvious what any of Nino’s extra money went towards.

They’d been stopped on their last trip up the stairs by a large man Felix assumed was Nino’s father. They traded introductions and he saw the pained look in the man’s eyes when Nino explained that Felix was his soulmate. He’d probably wished for better for his son but hadn’t been able to pay for it, while Gabriel had used his money to do the opposite. Once they’d finished bringing the boxes in, Nino disappeared back down the stairs to talk to his parents. Felix was relieved he wasn’t asked to join them.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and it sank only slightly under his weight. Perhaps he was thinking about this all wrong. Nino was taking him in because he was a good person after all and surely he would give in and sign the papers once he saw Felix up and on his feet. Maybe he could find a decent job and start looking for his own place soon after. Nino wouldn’t feel guilted into asking him to stay around and he would sign the papers and they’d both be better off.

He was startled from his thoughts when the apartment door opened, and Nino appeared with a casserole dish. “I hope you’re hungry,” he announced in greeting. “Mom made too much of the special today so she told me to go ahead and bring this up for our dinner.”

“That’s very kind.”

“You say that now because you haven’t eaten this same dish every Thursday for your entire life,” Nino laughed. He busied himself with pulling down plates and gathering utensils. “It’s good but can be a little monotonous.”

“But at least it’s food.”

“At least that,” Nino agreed. He gestured to the tiny two-seater table Felix had missed on his first look around and Felix graciously took one of the rickety chairs. “I did warn you the place isn’t much.” He spooned out a large section of casserole onto a plate and offered it to his guest.

“It’s your own space though. That’s really nice.”

Nino looked relieved. “Yeah, it is. I love my family, but I needed this, especially since my mom is pregnant again.”

“Really? Aren’t there three of you already?”

“Yeah. It, uh, it wasn’t exactly planned.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

An awkward silence fell over the table and Felix cleared his throat. “Are your parents in trouble?”

“They don’t know yet. Mom refused an abortion when the county rep came to visit after her doctor’s appointment. She was able to claim religious right for me and my younger brother but I think that’s not going to fly anymore. They were already only supposed to have my older brother and my dad was forced to have a vasectomy after Chris came along, but apparently it didn’t take completely.”

“This is such a fucked-up world,” Felix muttered and stabbed the casserole with his fork. “The government shouldn’t be able to make people have surgeries and determine how big families can be and control who you end up with.”

“It’s supposed to be for the better,” Nino answered quietly.

“Do you believe it is?”

He took a long moment to consider his answer. “No.”

“So you agree with me.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m signing the papers right now.”

“But I bet you’re a little tempted to.”

Nino didn’t respond and the rest of the dinner was spent in awkward silence. Nino cleared the table without a word and moved onto the sink to take care of the dishes. Unsure of how to react, Felix went to the one box of books he’d been able to bring with him and dragged it over to the couch. He warily sat down and found it worn in and comfortable and not at all what he was expecting. He tried to force himself to concentrate on the lawbook he’d been studying more recently but his focus kept straying as Nino began to hum while he moved around the kitchen.

Felix found himself watching the other man’s back while he washed their dishes. His humming was low and melodic and once he was finished at the sink, he wiped his hands and forearms and grabbed his messenger bag from the place by the door where he’d dropped it at arrival. Apparently, he was ignoring Felix but Felix found it didn’t bother him. It gave him a chance to watch Nino, to learn more about him.

Nino went to the cluttered desk and moved a few things around so he could pull out a tablet. He woke his computer up and after a moment, a thumping but soft tune flowed out of the speakers. Nino sat back in his chair until it creaked and then began to read on his tablet. Felix assumed he was doing homework for one of his classes, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. His eyes kept flicking from his book to the profile view he had of Nino and he found his mind wandering.

Here was a poorer family who loved each other, and they could be in trouble for adding another member. A little over a century ago, people were free to marry or not and bear as many or as few children as they pleased. And while there were parents who had too many children they didn’t care for, that wasn’t the majority, was it? How had things changed in such a short time period? Why had they? He could find no event that prompted it.

And while Felix preferred the company of other men if he had to be around anyone else at all, that wouldn’t have changed if his father had paid for his soulmate to be a woman. Gabriel wasn’t even aware of his son’s preferences. How many more people were out there just like him, forced into roles they didn’t want and weren’t prepared for? He was the older mate and was meant to be caring for Nino and here he was, sitting on his soulmate’s couch with his things in boxes because he had nothing to his name but his possessions and a small trust fund that would be all but drained in a few months.

It wasn’t fair and he wasn’t the only one hurting from it, he couldn’t be.

“I’ve been selfish.”

Nino’s chair squeaked as he turned to face Felix. “What?”

Felix lifted the law book. “I’ve been so worried about my situation but I’m not the only one dealing with this.”

“I’m still not following, man.”

“Your family shouldn’t be in trouble and you and I shouldn’t be forced together and there have to be hundreds, no, thousands, of others just like us.”

“You’re going to be some kind of revolutionary hero now, is that it?”

The wind left Felix’s sails and he sagged slightly. “It’s a thought.”

“There are protestors all the time. They usually go to jail.”

“But we could figure out a better way, a more efficient way, to make things change.”

Nino eyed him warily. “I think maybe we should both get some sleep. It’s been a long day.” He stood and stretched. “The bathroom is that door over there if you need it. I’m going to get changed.” He didn’t wait for a response as he went over to the bed and lifted a pair of lounge pants out of the mass of twisted sheets.

Feeling out of his element, Felix dropped his book to the couch and escaped to the bathroom. He wasted time snooping in the cabinets and noted how clean the shower was despite its obvious age. When he finally thought the coast was clear, he crept out of the bathroom and used the dim light from the oven hood to go back to the couch. Once he’d gotten his phone to use as a flashlight, he turned out the hood light and halted between the couch and the bed. Nino was on one side with the covers pulled up to his middle. It would’ve been easy enough to slide in on the other side, but Felix felt his stomach bubble with anxiety and he went to the couch and curled up since he was too tall to sleep on it any other way.

Perhaps tomorrow he could look for another place to stay and spend the rest of the year trying to perfect Nino’s signature for a forgery. This wasn’t going to work.

Buy me a cherry coke?

#nelix #nino lahiffe #felix agreste #miraculous ladybug

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felassan · 4 years

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hi! I'm in the Glasgow area and the atmosphere last night was buzzing and it felt amazing to see all the pro-indy people in Buchanan Street singing flower of Scotland, but I'm genuinely terrified incase in this next referendum we still don't get independence and we basically become north England - 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 (ps hi! I'm the anon from a few months back that was talking about the lack of Scots on Tumblr! :) )

hello friend!! v sorry for my late/slow reply, these last few days in the run-up have been pretty crazy.. I remember!! & I hope you’ve been well. cut for length.

I went to the rally outside Holyrood in Edinburgh last night. the atmosphere was similarly buzzin and it was amazin to see - everyone so united and upbeat in the face of everything, singing and chanting and listening to speakers and cheering and stuff, despite the inherent sadness and sombre tone of the occasion and date. + all the folk at these events are so friendly and welcoming.. I’m happy to hear it was the same at the Glasgow event, and am glad you went to one to support! I saw some footage of Glasgow’s on social media and it looked so nice and lovely! our events rly are in such a stark contrast to the atmospheres and environments found at pro-Brexit/Unionist ones.. rly wish I could have split myself into multiple bits so I could have attended multiple events cuz there were others I’d have loved to taken in as well :’) I had Trouble deciding which one to go to lol. Alyn Smith is some kinda superhuman btw and somehow managed to rep at Edinburgh, Glasgow and Stirling..!!

I’m really happy also that Holyrood voted in favor of indyref2. tell you a secret though, I’m real scared as well. I super empathize with you there, those feelings and fears r so valid. won’t lie to you, I can’t think of a scarier idea than that right now. the thought keeps me up at night sometimes and thinking about the scenario makes me feel like I’m gonna cry. [idc if this sounds dumb to folk readin] the morning of the indyref1 result back in 2014 is the worst, most rotten and distraught and frustrated that I’ve ever felt except for after a literal, traumatic bereavement. I don’t wanna feel like that ever again.

I won’t say, it doesn’t bear thinking about. wish I had some profound thoughts to share on the subject, this has just turned into a ramble.. it’s a very real possibility. and Brexit - not over, readers, since we have now entered an 11 month transition period and they still have to hash out all the details like trade deals - brings more uncertainty. but we’ve come so far from where support for indy hovered in the late 70s at around 15-20%. Brexit is a double-edged sword for the Union because increasingly it is a motivator for No Scots to switch their views to Yes. we need to take heart, help and connect with each other, re-(re?)-double our efforts, and keep fighting. support in the most recent poll had edged up to 51%. support is at 58% among the under 65s. we need to keep making the case for it, keep having those conversations with people, keep engaging with non-voters and the apathetic and the poorly-informed and the undecided, being positive and informative but realistic, stay united in the movement and not fragment from in-fighting, and keep supporting the only vehicle which can feasibly deliver it for us in this political lifetime (that’s the SNP) - with membership, donations, at votes, on social media, with boots on the ground at events and w/ things like leafletting and campaigning. I suppose in this way, fear is a good motivator. we need to make sure that when indyref2 comes, the support base is solid and there and enough to take it over the line. whether indyref2 is this year or next year or in 10 years (and make no mistake, I wanted independence like Yesterday), it needs to be ironclad.

just today, Scotland’s largest union Unison overwhelmingly agreed that the powers should be transferred to Scotland to enable indyref2 at a time determined by Holyrood. the next indy vote will most likely include the previously disenfranchised population subsets of 16 and 17 year olds and EU nationals - these groups largely would support Yes. Westminister don’t want to grant indyref2 in part because they’re scared. indy is now the only way for us back to the EU, and we rejected leaving the EU at 62%. seen a poll the other day that said that now, around 71% (or maybe even it was 73? can’t quite remember) of Scots think Brexit is a bad idea. Brexit is a horrendous omnishables but it advances the cause for Scottish independence. let the UK fall on its own sword, it wasn’t interested in innumerable compromise suggestions or in damage mitigation measures, or in listening when ScotGov tried to explain repeatedly why Brexit is bad for Scotland. the political chasm between England and Scotland continues to widen. meanwhile the continent are expressing support and solidarity with Scotland. the light is on, we just need to follow it back! maybe it’s Cope but I have to believe that indyref2 will come and that yes will prevail this time given the massive change in material circumstances that has taken place. we know what we think is best and what we want for our country, where we want to be, and what are values are. we just need to secure it. believed in indy all my life and am never going to give up on it. keep the heid. 💙

#mj replies #anonymous #caledonia's been everything #mj and the world #feels #idk if anything in this screed helps or makes u feel better sorry nonnie >..<

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flying-elliska · 5 years

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What are the important bisexual characters that you said helped you? I am having a hard time finding good bi representation in which they aren’t considered promiscuous or unstable

Hiya anon ! What a quality question, thank you ! Here’s another mini essay about bi rep lmao. If there are some that I forgot please tell me ! And to everyone, tell me about the bi characters who made an impact on your life, I’d love to know !!!!

Okay so.

- When I answered the anon and talked about the characters that helped me come to terms with my sexuality, I talked about two in particular. Jack Harkness from Torchwood is depicted as very promiscuous, and somewhat instable. He still meant a lot to me because a) him sleeping around was never that much of a problem, it was because he was from the future, where things were different, which I thought was refreshing and b) his instability was because of the weight of being an immortal hero. Also fanon!Dean Winchester from SPN, as an older, more macho, emotionally witholding, badass dude written as bi meant a lot to me, but he doesn’t really avoid that stereotype either. But at least they were heroes. However, I can understand wanting bi characters that actually don’t fit that stereotype, because bi people irl aren’t all like that, even if there is nothing wrong per se about sleeping with a lot of different people, or having mental issues to struggle with. And that was a while ago and now we have more and more cool characters ! Such as :

- Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. One of the best portrayals of bisexuality on TV imho. She didn’t start out as bi, she was this tough, cool, scary but with a heart of gold cop who had a lot of other plotlines before. But then, since they saw that a lot of wlw got this vibe from her, were really into her, and the actress came out as bi herself, they decided to use this. So it was super organic, and the way they introduced the subject was true to Rosa herself ; she’s a super private person, she doesn’t like anybody knowing about her life (it’s actually a running joke and Rosa Diaz has been implied to not even be her real name). But then she is dating a woman, and struggles with her parents not understanding and her coworkers find out, help her and support her. Her gay captain is there for her in his typical stoic but hilarious way. They organize game night with her when her parents won’t anymore. We see her crushing on women and dating, but it is treated exactly as the other character’s love life, they never make a big deal out of it. She isn’t the token queer character. She says outright she is bisexual and there is a specific point about her mom not understanding it’s not a phase and thinking she’ll end up with a man anyway, which #relatable. The focus is on the team as found family. Also right now she’s dating a butch woman, which is awesome since they are so underrepresented on TV and I hope we see more of her. That show really is my comfort show, it’s still bloodly hilarious and it really transcends the format to say some really deep woke stuff too, but never in a way that feels on the nose. Everyone should watch it tbh.

- Korrasami ! Oh my god, I was so blown away when they got together. They’re two characters from the animated series Legend of Korra, they start out as rivals in love who have feelings for the same guy, but as they have to fight baddies together, they become bestest of friends, and both fall out of love with the guy. Then in season 3 and 4, their relationship becomes central to the show, as Asami stands by Korra through some really tough shit. Also, they’re both ultra badass and fight really well together. A lot of fans started reading their chemistry as romantic, but we’d never thought they’d actually go there. But the show ends with them walking into the ‘sunset’ (well, the spirit lands) together, holding hands. Now, it was never completely explicit on the show BUT they were dealing with a lot of censure from the networks and you have to be willingly obtuse not to read it as romantic. And after that the creators drew them on dates, and there is a comic series in which they are shown kissing, talking about their feelings, introducing each other to their families, etc. It made me feel so validated when it happened, and I just adore the whole ‘love triangle ditches the middle one and fall in gay love with each other’ trope. (is it a trope yet ? it should be.) It’s still a kids show at its core, but it has amazing depth and deals with some very deep shit. Korra starts off as a bit annoying but she has a really cool development, she’s a girl character we need more of - brave, dynamic but also brash and reckless and action driven in ways that are almost always exclusively shown for boys. And Asami is a more typical girly girl but she’s also a brilliant engineer and has a spine of steel and she’s also very slyly funny. They’re amazing. And the comics are super cute.

- Now there are a lot of characters who are bi/pan that I love, and are good characters in themselves, but their arcs do intersect in some ways with promiscuity and mental instability. I’m thinking about Even from Skam and all his remake variants, Magnus Bane from Shadowhunters, several characters from Black Sails, Sarah Lance and Constantine from Legends of Tomorrow, Eleanor Shellstrop from the Good Place, Bo from Lost Girl, Ilana from Broad City, Joe McMillan from Halt and Catch Fire, God/Chuck from Supernatural (lmaooooo), several characters on Penny Dreadful, or in a totally different category, Vilanelle from Killing Eve or Hannibal from the series (who are hella bad guys but it’s never linked to their sexuality, and are also incredibly compelling to watch.)

And even though these characters taken individually, I would argue, are good rep because they’re complex and layered and interesting and never one-dimensional (and watching them feels incredibly empowering at times)....it’s still a trend. I feel like when writing a character that is attracted to multiple genders, there is always this sort of...tangle of tropes that writers default to, unconsciously. Some negative and some positive. It used to be this trope of bis being villainous, instable, jealous, flaky, immature, perverted, manipulative, cheaters, amoral, greey, etc...and then it evolved into something of a reclaiming and subverting this trope. So now you feel like the Bi Character kind of has to be badass, glamorous, seductive, often superpowered or extraordinary in other ways.. And they also for multiple reasons (they’re immortal, they’re sensitive artist souls, they’re from the future, they’re psycho, they’re exccentric comic relief, they’re daring adventurers and pioneers) don’t care about social norms which allows them to sleep and fall in love with whomever. And so they tend to have those super busy romantic/sexual histories and very troubled backstories. In the past it was a bad thing, now it’s often presented as this positive, enlightened or at least fun and badass thing. They’re heroic, with big hearts, a tremendous lust for life and a cool rebellious attitude. They’re complex, dramatic, tortured. Which can be super cool, too.

But it would be nice to have more ‘normal’ bi characters. I mean, boring bisexuals need to see themselves represented too ! Our sexualities don’t give us super powers. At the same time, it is true that bisexual ppl have higher rates of mental illness, which deserves to be explored, but it would be nice if it was actually articulated and not just part of this trope. But still. We need rep, I think, that is more grounded and varied. So I think that’s also why I read a lot of fanfic. (I was really into the idea of bi Steve Rogers for a long time, partly also because he’s both very mentally resilient, kinda boring in a good way, and very unexperienced in terms of sex/romance, which is pretty much the opposite of the trope)

- I think books, and YA in general, are a good place to find these ‘normal bis’ characters. I’m thinking in particular of Leah from Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (from the same book series that gave us the ‘Love, Simon’ movie) which is a super sweet coming of age/romance story about a super normal teenager who just happens to be also into girls (esp her best friend) and is loud and funny and very lovable and has zero doubts about being bi. You also have Adam Parrish from the Raven Cycle, another one of my forever faves ; he has an abusive family so PTSD from that but it never feels tropey, and it’s completely detached from his sexuality. He has magic powers, too. But his character feels completely opposite to the trope. He’s hardworking, somewhat withholding, prickly (and sometimes awkward), ambitious, determined, down to earth, and has a beautiful love story with another boy. And also Jane, from Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore, also really cool ; she’s a nerdy, smart girl who is actually inspired by Jane Eyre who has cool adventures in a weird house where we can follow her on different paths depending on the choices she makes, several of which are love stories. And finally the main character from The Seven Husbands from Evelyn Hugo, kinda fits the trope yeahhh since she’s a super glam actress who well, has seven husbands but it’s a pretty clever deconstruction since it turns out (slight spoilers) that Evelyn is actually through most of her life faithful in heart to the same person and the rest is mostly out of necessity, and her story feels very real and raw and down to earth.

- I don’t go there yet but I really want to check out Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Schitt’s Creek which I have read have very good bi rep. And I want to catch up on Orphan Black (Cosima and Delphine both don’t have exact labels but they’re multi-gender attracted and they’re this cool couple of scientists in a relationship that gets a happy ending). I will never forgive what they did to Lexa so I stopped watching but I do think that Clarke Griffin from The 100 is very good bi rep. Alexia from Skam France, meanwhile, is a bit of a boundary case for me because, even though she’s presented as the ‘weird one’ from the group, very colorful and liberated and exccentric, she’s still a very normal teen who’s happy and comfortable in her own skin, which is awesome.

- Disclaimer, I included characters in here that are also pan/omnisexual or don’t have a label but are attracted to several genders, for the purpose of this discussion i don’t think the difference is all that relevant at least to me (i mostly identify as bi for the sake of simplicity but tbh i could also fit under pan so i feel represented by all those characters). But I understand the importance of characters that state their identities more clearly and with pride.

- So in conclusion : there is nothing wrong with having a sexually active life or struggling mentally (even tho that one is not fun). And I do love all my badass casanova time travelling super powered bis.

But we need more bi characters that don’t fit that trope. We need bi characters in children’s shows, or that don’t have more than one relationship, or that don’t have a relationship at all, to break the tendency to always show bisexual ppl as overly sexual. We need bi characters in committed relationships to break this idea that bi characters are bound to cheat or can’t be satisified with only one person. We need bi characters that are mentally stable and successful and happy, to show that it’s possible. We need bi characters that are boring, bookish, nerdy, ordinary, clumsy, not particularly seductive, socially awkward, rule-sticklers, etc...to show that bi people are not all party animals, or doing it for attention, or to be wild, rebellious and socially progressive. It’s just a sexuality, it doesn’t say anything about your personality. Even though there are some correlations with MI or being bi might bring you in contact with more progressive ideas and to see life a bit differently, there is nothing automatic about it.

- In conclusion, reading testimonies from real people also helped me a lot. It’s a very dated but I got the book “ Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out “ when I was struggling with my own sexuality and it helped a lot, to read that even back then (1991) you had all sorts of regular ppl claiming to be bi and that it was not a phase or a fad or whatever.

#bisexuality #bi rep #media representation #bi pride #lgbt #bi characters

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all-at-once-you-are-the-one · 5 years

Text

Stream of Consciousness Lover Album Reaction

I wrote out my first thoughts while listening to the album and put them in one big post. I hope you find them as funny as I do lmao

1. I Forget That You Existed

LOL so that’s what the drake Easter egg was about!

Who is this about????

NIIIIiiiiiiiiiIIIiiiiCE

SHE SOUNDS SO GOOD

I JUST FORGOT WHAT THEY WERE LMAOOO

HER LAUGH!! SO CUTE!!

This track is somehow savage and adorable at the same time

So......yeah.......

ShnfhKJHGKSHDKGHSKGHSJG

2. Cruel Summer

This is giving me Katy perry vibes

The devils roll their dice line is from this?? Didn’t expect that

This is maybe the catchiest song I’ve ever heard

Why is this not a single??????

STILL DONT KNOW WHAT SUMMERS A KNIFE MEANS

EXPLAIN TAYLOR

This also kind of gives me Jonas brothers vibes, why???

Again.....what is this about???

OooOOoooOooWhoooooAAAAhh i loveeee this

OOOH no you know what this gives me GETAWAY CAR vibes

Wait...do we think that at the beginning joe wanted to keep their relationship private and Taylor agreed but then changed her mind? WAIT NO.....is this about her having to keep her love for joe secret at first the summer they met because she was with someone else/it was too soon??

3. Lover

Ok SUPER WEIRD transition into lover but OK

As much as I love albums with a clear narrative like rep I also like being all over the place so this is fine

CAN I GO WHERE YOU GOOOOOO

FOR EVER AND EVER ANDIIIII

YOURE MY MY MY MYYYYY LOVER

I wonder what inspired her to use the term lover? Does she not know that normal people don’t speak like that?

WAIT IS THE REASON LOVER COMES AFTER CRUEL SUMMER because of the 3 summers line?? Like look how we started...now were here

Does the album begin with i forgot you existed because its like ok this Kanye situation happened...but now were gonna forget about that and talk about the realer real story of the past couple years of my life rather than seeing it through the lens of that story like on rep

4. The Man

THE ACCURACY

THE ACCURAACCCCYYYYYYYYY

IT HUUURRTTSSS

Honestly though i actually thought this one would be more savage, i thi

DID SHE JUST SAY BITCHES AND MODELSSSS?????

SLJGSHUKGHKDG

Never mind this is as savage as i wanted

I should know better than to judge a Taylor song before the bridge

Again why isn’t this a single.....it better be

5. The Archer

The emotional whiplash this album is giving me is insane.

It’s like RED but with synths

Is the archer placed here because part of her lack of self confidence comes from the things the media says about her (because she’s a woman not a man?) INTERESTING THOUGHT

Don’t have much else to say about this, we already know

.....

Wow the cake i bought for tonight is somehow way too sweet

6. I Think He Knows

Definitely didn’t think i think he knows was about being horny af

But this is so catchy

Why is everything so catchy?? Literally every song should be a single

BOY I UNDERSTAND the confidence!! After the archer!! I love that he makes her feel that way1!!

I THINK HE KNOOOOOOOWWWWSS

This gives me teenage dream vibes and i fucking love that song

7. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

Ok time for the one with the weird title

I love how she keeps comparing her current feelings to how she felt as a teenager!! How its the same and different....very good.

SHES A BAD BAD GIRL

More dice!

Is she imagining what it would be like if she was in this relationship in high school? Because I DO THAT ALL THE TIIIIME GIRL SAME

THATS MY WHOLE WORLD SOOOO CUUUUTE

YOU PLAY STUPID GAMES YOU WIN STUPID PRIZES

VOTED

MOST

LIKELY

RUN

AWAY

WITH

YOU

I really like this one. I didn’t expect I would.

This should be a single.

8. Paper Rings

THE VOICE EFFECT

She’s singing so fast on these songs!!!! I CANT KEEP UPP

UH HUH

THATS RIGHT

This is so retro and i loooooooooooooooooooooove it

DIRTY DREAMS??????? TAYLOR PLEASE

OMG THE COLOUR WE PAINTED YOUR BROTHERS WALL

THE PICTURE

FROM THE REP MAGAZINES

SDIHGUSHGUKHDZRKUGHKUDZHGUHDZGHDKZHGYIDZJLGJLDJGJSDJGDHZGHLGHLSHGHDG

II LIKE SHINY THINGS

THIS SONG IS SO FUN! ALL THESE SONGS ARE SO FUN!!

Ok baby boy that’s kinda weird but you know what..

....

Ok its still weird but maybe it will grow on me

This should be a single.

9. Cornelia Street

HERE IT IS!!! THE FIRST TAYLOR PRODUCED SONG

I NEVER WANT CORNELIA STREET AGAIN?? WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?? THEIR WORST FIGHT? ANOTHER RELATIONSIP? QUESTIONS

The storytelling!

Wait......is this about before they ran away together in CIWYW?? Like she thought he didn’t really want her so she was gonna run away alone...but then he was like no i really do lets go

I totally thought that this was the one with the staring out the window like I’m not your favorite town line was from

She ended it with the line she started with (i think)? Ike she used to!

Kinda feel like people hyped this one up too much but i do like it

10. Death by a Thousand Cuts

The piano!!!!

Like a thousand notes a thousand cuts

Look through the windows of this love - like the heart on her eye! I get it I GET IT lmaoooo

If this song was on red it would have the saddest production but on this album its a bop

11. London Boy

IS THAT JOE??? OMG lmao

HER ACCENT LMAOOOOOOOOO

I don’t know if this song is supposed to be as hilarious as i think it is but i really do think its hilarious

What does like a Tennessee Stella McCartney even mean????

I kinda feel like this song is too specific to her life to be relatable so maybe that’s why i feel that way about it?

12. Soon You’ll Get Better

Ok great... so we went from that to the sad one

I have to prepare

I didn’t tell you i was scared....

Cause you have to...

The fact that this is the country song...

I cant

GOD NOW IM CRYING THIS IS SO SAD

That was the only song so far i had to actually stop typing for. God....I’m so sad for her and her family.

13. False God

I can barely take this song in because of what just came before.

But i really like it. And i really like the theme of religion on this album

14. You Need to Calm Down

NOW YNTCD IS PLAYING

??? IM LITERALLY SOO SAD FROM SOON YOULL GET BETTER STILL

I CANT

PROCESS

THIS

This album is literally all over the place, i keep trying to assign a narrative to it and its not working out so I’m just gonna give up

Sometimes albums are just collections of songs and not a coherent, linear story and that is ok! Even if its not what i prefer

It certainly didn’t bother me on her first few albums.

The one thing i take away from this is like...no wonder she’s so determined to be so overly positive, i think for her its that or break down crying in the face of what’s happening in her family

15. Afterglow

I really love this song!!! Hashtag relatable

......

Man..you can really tell even just from my typing that my heart isn’t in this anymore after that song

Fuck

I think I’m just sad for me too, because i know that i will go through that too sooner rather than later and I already have friends dealing with losing a parent.

16. ME!

My only thought on this is god bless brendon Urie for injecting so much additional joy and energy into this song and making Taylor happy, i just get the vibe that she really needed that

ALSO WHAT THERES REALLY NO HEY KIDS SPELLING IS FUN

TAYLOR EXPLAAIAIIIIIIIAIAIIAN

We’ll see if its on my physical cd copies when they arrive...if not then maybe it was always planned to be a line only in the single version

17. It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Ok I don’t really like this song that much but i really like the messages she’s trying to send like...real love feels like hanging out with a childhood bestie, so comfortable

18. Daylight

I WAS LIKE MEH

BUT THE FUCKING BRIDGE

THE BRIDGE

IM EMOTIONALLY DESTROYED

Also something about the chorus reminds me of the chorus of starlight

STEP INTO THE DAYLIGHT AND LET IT GO

YES

I WAS LIKE NO IS THAT NOT A LYRIC??

BUT IT ISTHANK GOD

THE END

YOU ARE WHAT YOU LOVE

THAT WAS LIKE

MY MANTRA FOR A COUPLE YEARS A WHILE BACK

BECAUSE

I LOVED SO MANY PEOPLE BUT THEY DIDNT LOVE ME

AND I WANTED TO BE DEFINITED BY THE FACT THAT I LOVED THEM NOT THAT HTEY DIDNT LOVE ME

IIIIIIIIIIII

IN CONCLUSION:

My feelings are everywhere. Some songs disappointed me but some blew me away - soon you’ll get better is basically the new Never Grow Up for me which is saying a lot. Everything is catchy a hell though even the songs I didn’t like as much. Ultimately i would have liked more songs about varying subject matter esp. self love but as it is, it is still somehow so all over the place. It really just shows how many emotions and phases can be contained within one relationship (i mean I’m assuming every song about a relationship is about joe). I really think that the song about her mom maybe should have been placed somewhere else...I don’t know where I would have put it but that shit is HEAVY. I am so honored that she and her family would share that with us though. I have a million question about how Andrea is doing and if my theory on why tour hasn’t been announced is correct...maybe she will explain more in the interviews/secret session audio we’re getting in the next couple days. I think my favorite song is Lover but that may change. I don’t think any song on here tops my current all time favorite Taylor song though which is CIWYW. That’s a little disappointing but not every song or album has to be my fave! And this album will probably grow on me esp as i hear Taylor’s explanations of it. Rep did. I really did nooott feel good about most of rep at first, it took a few days.

#lover reaction #lover album reaction #lover #taylor swift

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deadrosencrantz · 5 years

Text

doctor who actually making the 19 year old companions act like 19 year olds has been an extremely good move. as a current 19 year old in the U.K., i feel like i'm at least a decent judge of this?

i mostly wanna talk about ryan because i think he's more the type of person I am, yaz also feels real to me but i guess i'll leave that to someone else

so! things about ryan that make me believe he's a dorky loser of my age despite tosin cole being a Real grown-up

he makes vlogs nobody watches

re-friends yaz, gently bullies her ("you just went way down in my opinion, he was punching above his weight")

WHERES THE RELOAD WHEREDS THE RELOAD AAAAAAAAAAA

(but negative points for making him reference call of duty when any REAL 19 year old boy would have referenced halo, ffs the weapons looked straight out of the covenant armoury)

(i assume he was simplifying himself for the benefit of graham who is only capable of remembering 1 (one) video game)

"did you just accidentally pay me a compliment?" "................whatever"

quiet frustration with a baby boomer for trying to force a connection, obvious differences in the way they communicate driving a wedge between them

uses social media and the internet and cares about his phone and nobody around him is a bitch about it because of course he does (i mention this because there's so much TV out there that can't resist taking a cheap shot at "tech-obsessed" youths whenever possible)

emotionally affected by tragedy, desire to respect the dead ("he knew he could die but he still did it anyway" about rahul in e1). that felt like an appeal to milennial/gen z sensibilities imo, like of course compassion is not exclusive to my generation but i feel like there's a lot of young people like me really craving the kind of like, acknowledgement of the human costs of things? i think this is kind of related to

ryan being like, not Socially Conscious, but having absorbed enough life to be Socially Conscious? like big mood, is there anything more late-teens than having some great social and moral ideas but not being exactly sure how to apply them or of relevant historical contexts

he wants fairness but isn't always conscious of how the world works ("tell me you don't get hassle")

also a special shout out for ryan not remembering who rosa parks was but it's not because he's totally ignorant, he just got confused on the details and did still have a good basis of knowledge on the civil rights movement, i love that we aren't going for absolutes

well thought out deadpan humour in front of others ("good, cause i don't eat them"), dorky talking to himself when alone. ("nice one ryan! THANKS RYAN!")

relationship-guruing total strangers (kerblam!) and the specific way he tells graham to shut up when he mentions ryan's similar issue

he doesn't mind when people are different! that's a big deal for the kind of teen i think ryan is being written as, which is to say, not a douchebag. he's grown up knowing human diversity and i think he's felt isolated enough he doesn't ever want to judge others? he accepts flirting from a gay man without being a lil bitch about it (i hate that i have to specify that as a positive but ykno toxic masculinity) and a man giving birth essentially without issue.

idk i just think it's nice that ryan seems to be written for open-minded nerdy kids and young people, and as a good role model of acceptance?

(semi related: i want ryan to be gay or bi more and more with every passing ep but he's likeable as a Woke Straight too)

doesn't hate his disability but has some level of frustration with it that imo is portrayed with enough nuance even in its brief appearances? and because diagnosis is easier these days i think that's a big thing for my gen, having a name for your problem for most of your life and being mostly at peace with it but like, god whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

"SILLY" PLANS THAT WORK!! being playfully judgemental of ppl for not knowing music, hello arachnids in the u.k.

what was it he said, "you have no idea how uncool you sound right now"? that was A+

his sometimes slightly awkward way of speaking, like, speaks to me, as a 19 year old with a developmental disability, and the balance of growing up/finding your feet with being different to your peers

he's used to graham being kind of mean about his dyspraxia but doesn't even really make a big deal of it bc old people just be like that ig

willing to admit mistakes but not to be teased for them by adults (woman who fell to earth, ghost monument, rosa, kerblam)

i know a lot of this is kind of projecty but like, that's what's so good about it!! ryan is close enough to me and my peers that it's possible to read him as one of us!! which is not true of a lot of media youth rep!

i CAN project onto ryan, more easily than with any other character in media

and i didn't know how much i needed that until chibz like, descended upon this show with divine providence

to be clear i'm not saying those traits are exclusive to my generation, just that i see a lot of our generalised attitude to life in ryan and that makes me happy. i see a lot of my life!! shit boi!! also i'm on the bus to uni and very tired so sorry if like literally none of this made sense, tbh this post barely even has a thesis i just wanted to write things i like about ryan

#doctor who #dw spoilers #ryan sinclair #chibnall era #max.txt

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paladinspride · 6 years

Text

Hopefully this is my last VLD S7 discourse post.

I usually try to stay out of the drama but LGBTQ rep is near and dear to me and I have spent the last few days totally caught up in the discourse surrounding S7, despite my best intentions. Can I blame myself though? It is every where!

So I am hoping if I just put all my thoughts in an under the cut post, maybe I can move on and go back to enjoying the show for what it is and creating and assuming the fanon content I enjoy. I really do like the show. I just have feelings about some decisions.

Warning, there is an essay under here:

I’ll start by reminding people, I am in my 30s and I came out as bi in the 90s so I grew up in a totally different stage of society than most of the fandom. I mention this because it is important to keep in mind that the western world was not as open and accepting as it is now and my generation did a lot to make progress happen. There is still a lot to be done, but that is another matter.

I grew up in an age where LGBTQ characters, if present, were usually evil, tortured or killed off. At best, they were a comedic side kick. When we started to get LGBTQ content, shows like Queer as Folk, were given late night time slots and considered adult and taboo.

Shows like Modern Family were an amazing win for LGBTQ rep but animation still had/has a lot of ground work to do.

Dreamworks got flack for Gobber saying, “And that’s why I never married,” in HTTYD 2 and that was super vague.

Conservative groups were adamant that children’s content be free of “discussions of sexuality.” Gosh forbid, someone be gay so any references had to be vague and nearly undetectable. LGBTQ content was heavily censored and often out right forbidden.

Legend of Korra’s Korrasami pushed the envelope and broke ground but it’s rep was still at the very end of the series and quiet enough to sneak by censors.

Right before I watched VLD, I watched Yuri on Ice and was so moved that there was a well written animated series that depicted a same sex relationship where it wasn’t played for comedic effect, tokenism or tragedy.

When I finished YOI, I got sucked into VLD by the fan art. When I watched the show, Keith and Lance’s relationship intrigued me and I had fun imagining scenarios where they could end up together and live in domestic bliss.

The fandom ate it up. There was so much K/lance content to create and consume and so much positive response to it, that I fell in love. They became an OTP and I have dedicated my blog to them ever since.

However, this whole time I have been cautiously optimistic about the likelihood that K/lance could become canon because I imagined the crew would have a fight on their hands to make it happen. My experience with representation in media made it hard for me to let myself hope.

But I let myself believe because of LOK, Disney having a gay character come out on one of its youth series, and shows like One Day At A Time.

Shipping meta didn’t help.

But I tried very hard to keep my hopes in check and remind myself that fanon isn’t canon and that I am hear for the fanon. Canon would be nice but it is not the end all be all. I had to repeat this to myself a lot.

The last little while I have found myself growing exceptionally tired of “KICK” and shipper’s insistence that K/lance will be canon because I knew the fandom was getting their hopes up and that fanon and canon are separate things and I didn’t want people to get their hearts broken when fanon wasn’t represented in canon.

Also, I wanted people to focus on creating and consuming fanon content rather than scouring the canon for proof and engaging in petty ship wars, but that is some people’s idea of fun, and I can’t judge them for enjoying the show differently than me.

Anyways, despite my reservations, I let myself hope.

Then we had Shiro’s reveal. I was so excited that we were getting a strong persevering leader and POC as LGBTQ rep in a children’s animation that I didn’t even care that the likelihood of K/lance was diminished for me because there was no way I could let my self believe that we could have three characters in canon m/m relationships.

But then I watched S7 and the rep fell a little flat for me, but I was still happy there was enough insinuation that m/m youth could see themselves in Shiro.

But then they gave Ezor and Zethrid a coded scene and killed them and Adam.

I don’t think the show runners did this with any ill intent. I think they were clueless to the fact that they were committing a dangerous trope.

The show is about war, yes, and people are lost in war, but we need to have enough LGBTQ characters in animation, media in general really, that the loss of one is not such a blow. They should have predicted the fandom outrage, but I don’t think they did, and now they are on the defensive, seemingly making things worse.

I also felt queer baited. And I don’t use that term lightly. I have defended them against queer baiting in the past because 99% of the time, the feeling is the result of the fandom building hype by reading into things and spinning things the showrunners and Vas said and not actually baiting.

And that happened again here.

But I feel like the showrunners contributed to it this time.

But I also am not sure how they could have shut it down.

I kind of wish they would not have said anything about Shiro at SDCC and just let the viewers interpret the scene for themselves. LM and JDS saying Adam and Shiro were engaged doesn’t mean anything if they don’t show it in the show. That was their mistake.

If they were not sure they would be able to give explicit rep, they should not have said anything about it. I don’t think people would have cared as much that there was not LGBTQ rep if we were not expecting it.

I get wanting to make everyone happy and being inclusive and not wanting to spoil anything or shut down ships but ugh it made an ugly situation. I don’t know how they could have been more honest without spoiling things though.

(But if they really didn’t want to shut down ships, why write Lance and Keith in any romantic arcs at all? They knew how popular the ships were to make some changes? I suppose the verdict is still out on whether A/llurance and K/acxa are gonna be cannon though so I really shouldn’t assume and get upset about that yet)

The fandom is partly to blame for the hype and perceived queer baiting in the past. If people didn’t ask questions that put show runners and VAs in awkward spots or spinning things said, the hype might not be so extreme.

But this time it feels like the show runners went with it?

Did marketers encourage the hype for ratings though? Definitely. I don’t trust marketers. There goal is to get people talking about the show, be it good or bad. It’s important to remember the show runners and the marketers are separate. Netflix pulled some shady moves with the posters and that whole folding picture thing.

And that brings me back to K/lance.

For awhile now I am have been thinking they pulled a Zutara with K/lance and S/hallura, (Zutara is the pairing of Zuko and Katara from Avatar the Last Airbender, and the plan was for them to be canon but studio pressure suggested the audience related to Aang more so they shifted gears and made Kaang the canon romance in the last season instead).

S/hallura could have been such a beautifully written loves story of two fierce leaders and no one can tell me they don’t have chemistry and corresponding arcs.

So I was surprised when it was revealed that Shiro was the LGBTQ rep.

This made me think maybe Shiro and Adam were to be just friends and K/lance was meant to be canon after all, which is why so many of us saw canon potential in S1-3) but then it got shut down for any numbers of reasons and they decided to make Shiro the rep instead.

Barlee recently tweeted that Shiro was always meant to be the LGBTQ rep and they had to fight for what they showed though.

So this combined with the fact that they had to fight to show what little they did and the insistence that Shiro “is the rep,” makes me think K/lance isn’t happening for sure.

And I am sad about that. And that is ok. I am allowed to be sad about it. My sadness that my ship won’t be canon should not dismiss my concerns about the bury your gays trope though. They are two different issues and I am sick that people are undermining the argument because of who people ship.

I am also sad, that Barlee’s tweet suggested that LM and JDS did not get to tell the story they wanted to tell because of studio meddling. I’d really love to know what that story was.

But I will get over it and go back to creating and consuming content for K/lance and VLD because the world that VLD created is rich and inspiring to me. I love exploring the what ifs and alternate story lines the VLD universe has to offer because that is the part of fandom I enjoy.

I enjoy the canon too, but it is just one story in a list of endless possibilities.

#Jenni yaks #discourse #vld s7

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