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aonungyoufuck · 1 year

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Can you perhaps do a dark ao’nung who is obsessive and manipulative to an innocent reader who believes everything he says.

You can come up with the rest your writing is amazing 😆

My Unhealthy Obsession

GN! Metkayina Reader X Ao'nung

Warnings: Unhealthy obsession. Manipulation tho i kinda lowkey suck at it. Perhaps implications of murder. Innocent reader + plot twist.

uwu thank you anon for enjoying my writing.

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You were all each other had. Realistically you had your families. Sure that was true and more than anything you loved them to death. You liked spending time with Tsireya and Ronal.

Being with Ao'nung was a different story however. Something about his words the way he spoke the way he would touch you left more to the mind to wonder.

Since children something about the way he would speak with you it made little tingles in your stomach. And it made you crave his attention much more.

And Ao'nung knew this. He took advantage of the way you seem to believe his every word. Innocent on the mind and soul. And he was cruel. But ever much more gentle at what ever you would tell him.

Making you believe hi obvious lies. "Oh no Tsireya is out with mother she cant hang" "Tao'lu? oh no he asked you on a bet. his friends made" "Oh wouldn't you like to hang with me instead?"

And you believed every one of his words. Realistically he still had all his friends to hang with. And you were alone. But what good was it hanging out with his friends if he could have you all to himself?

"Ao'nung you really should head on With your father. What good is any training if your wasting it with me?" You spoke in alluring voice. You were always so kind to him.

"Naw i think it will be okay to spend time with you"

"by the way of your attitude im sure they wouldn't think its okay"

You sighed. Your mind again pondering to a distant past. Where you had both guys and girls alike asking you if they could stake claim. But...things had changed. People didnt like looking at you in the eye.

"Ao'nung..Do you know why. Tao'lu or Irir stopped pursuing me? Or why all my friends stopped talking with me?"

"no?" he spoke

"It seems no one speaks to me anymore and it frightens me a little. Have i done wrong? am i undesirable?"

"what nonsense dear. Clear your head of those thoughts"

You were about to speak. Tell him something else before hearing loud commotion outside. and unbeknownst to you two. Things in this dynamic were about to change drastically.

----------------------------------------------------

The arrival of the Sully's was not something Ao'nung could have foreseen. He had manage to scare anyone away from ever really speaking to you.

But you had been dragged into teaching along side him. And he couldn't threaten the sully's as he had everyone.

He did trust his sister and Rotxo. But even then he would rarely allow you three to have alone time. More so on the knowledge that Tsireya knew what he had done.

But he needed to promise you to himself.

And it was hard when Neteyam would throw you knowing looks. And you could only return it in kind. He couldn't really threaten them. But he could you.

And it wasn't long before he did. Finding you alone in your pod. Lucky for him he knew your family wouldn't be around just yet.

"I dont want you around those Sully guy's"

"it will be hard given i was told to help them too"

"I mean it Y/n"

you turned to look at him. His expression cold, dark and ever more so handsome in your eyes. "Why?"

"Especially Neteyam"

"Ao'nung. Can you at least explain why"

"I dont like the way he looks at you"

You thought. Sure he was friendly but he knew you two were strangers. Only ever talking as acquaintances.

"Like he has you. Like he wants you. To be your Mate or more it makes me sick."

"But Ao'nung what difference does that make. You haven't staked claim of me and i you"

He let out a hiss. Fangs bearing as he held your wrists together. "I haven't yet"

You let your heart sore. How long had you wanted that? was it sick? he was your only friend remaining so what other options did you have?.

"Keep away from him. You never know. He's also the outsider. His family have demon blood. What more does he need for you to understand"

you just stared at him in silence. Subconsciously you began to shake in his hold.

His eyes softened. Sighing as he gently kissed your knuckles.

"He's no good for you. Not like i can be. So please. Please promise to keep away from them"

You let out a small smile. before nodding. Letting him go.

And This promise didn't go unnoticed. You stopped showing up. You stopped interacting. You stopped ever seeing Neteyam or the rest of the siblings.

Tsireya of course had noticed it more. She had seen this happen countless of times. And for once she had enough. Had voiced her voice enough for it to fall on deaf ears.

She went to go see you. Had always found the best of times to see you and this time she had to speak to you.

"Y/n?"

You turned to look at her. Smiling bright. "oh Tsireya, A little early than before?"

"I have to speak to you"

You two sat. You handing her a bowl of fruit.

"Its about Ao'nung"

"Oh! I hope he told you the news"

"The news?"

You smiled brightly. A feeling boiling in your stomach as you spilled the news. But watched carefully as Tsireya's face dropped in horror.

"no, No Y/n That cannot happen!"

You frowned. "What? why?"

"Ao'nung. He's not right. Not right at all! He's he's pushed away every one of your friends. Suitors and any alike. I dont know what he says or what he does. But, But he threatens. He"

you only listened. perhaps that explained it.

"He's almost drowned some kids back when were were little. You dont understand. What ever it is. Who ever it is. And im frightened that your happiness is, Is for the wrong one"

You nodded. Watching her and nodded silently. " I thank you Tsireya. I really do. But i know how to handle this. Trust me with this. Please"

Tsireya could only frown. Watching as your sweet aura didn't falter. Didn't waver and all she could do is pray to Eywa. Pray that everything would work out. That nothing bad would happen.

unbeknownst to anyone but you. This was exactly what you had hoped for. You are Ao'nung's and now he is Yours.

-----------------------------

im sorry if this is bad in any way shape or form. But i really tried. I was gonna make it super dark but then thats borderline like yandere. And well. Lets save that for another day.

#avatar the way of water #aonung x reader #atwow #ao'nung x reader #ao'nung #ao’nung x reader #ao’nung x you #atwow imagines #ao'nung x y/n

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carnal-lnstinct · 29 days

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Change The Fate's Design

Pairing: Goddess!Reader x War God!Goku Content: au: CLAMP’s RG Veda-inspired fic. afab reader. established rivals. love confession. hinted unrequited love. angst. hurt/comfort. possessiveness. A/N: This is just a retelling of one of the plot twists from RG Veda so spoilers but I doubt anyone is going to read that old manga. I recommend it if you like beautiful, dramatic characters and pain of which you can never recover from! But also, it's CLAMP so it has its...problems. For context: There is a prophecy that the unborn heir of the War God will awaken as the God of Destruction destined to destroy all the realms, and the War God knows.

“...Do you think destiny can be changed?” The golden-eyed war god asked suddenly.

A brow arched in response, followed by an unimpressed stare. Odd. 'You are asking me', she thinks to herself. Fate has never bound her to anything to expect anything in return from it. Everything she has, she has earned by the will of her own heart and the strength of her own two hands. Something troubles the War God to ask her of all people such a thing. Moving confidently, her feet shift around as she turns to face him with a soft, yet arrogant grin.

“To get what I want, I would rearrange the stars themselves.” Boldly left her lips without a hitch nor a blink of an eye.

Goku does not flinch at her callous answer, either. The god of war stares back and slowly a smile forms, breaking the melancholy of his expression. However prideful and selfish her intentions come across, she speaks with a sureness that came as a comfort to him, clearing his fears to reveal a path of hope for a future untethered by the stars. A better future for his son. For that wish, he will become just as selfish as the goddess— if not more— for what he is willing to attempt to save the future prince.

It felt like an affliction in his soul, worse than any atrocities the most wicked creatures could conjure. Weighing all of the heavens against the life of his innocent child, desiring the latter at the risk of calamity befalling everyone else. Including himself. But he does not waver, nor stall. Goku steps forward closing their distance to speak in confidence, sharing his forbidden words.

“Then…Would you lend me a hand in changing the path of the stars?” He asks, a gentle cant of his head as he watches her with a solemn gaze. It is just as bold to ask this much of anyone to join him in sin, let alone a court rival. And damn foolish to assume a prophecy can be changed when the stars have never been wrong. But he needs to try.

Does this push them all towards the path of the prophecy or set the stage for a more desirable future for the heir of his kingdom?

The incredulous look he gets in return for his plea says it all. Even without sharing the context of his wish to change fate, he must know how ridiculous that sounds. For one such as herself who did not believe in fate's direct hand there has been some truth to it, crediting the natural powers of heaven itself. But... she does not need to believe in it, nor does she require the reason. It was enough he groveled to her for his fool’s errand. Desperate.

The Goddess’ arrogant grin grows and she steps closer as well, lending her attention to his cry for help and smug as can be. There’s a wicked glint in her eyes.

“Will I get what I want if I lend you my strength?” She asks, coming in closer still.

“What is it that you want?”

Her touch is soft and it surprises him, suddenly, gently, resting along the curve of his cheek. Golden eyes widened looking down at her and her own eyes were gentle and reverent of the form before her like he had never seen before.

"...You." There’s a longing in her tone, as well as a demand. But not her ego anymore.

Her intentions are clear but Goku is stunned, to say the least. She hid this well behind her arrogance and duty, perhaps biding her time for the right circumstances of just him and her. Yet, it was only for a moment he hesitated as he took in her sincerity. He understands the opportunity it gave him. 'Anything for Gohan.'

“...If fate can be changed…” His voice trailed off, eyes faltering in concede making his head lower away but her hand shifted to cup his jaw, lifting his head to bring his eyes back on hers.

“I will rearrange the stars to get what I want.” She declares. The silence stirred between them now, unwavering eyes watching the other. And then her other hand grasps his face as she lures him down into a kiss, sealing their fate. Permitting his selfishness and his foolishness to disrupt the will of the realm. They could be selfish fools together.

#goku x reader #son goku x reader #goku imagine #dbz fics #dbz imagine #My writing #this was so much longer but then I realized the rest doesn't matter #also it made me cry #not my most creative fic but its the most self-indulgent ♥

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blueberrykenn · 5 months

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Kennie's Top 10 Yearly Fic Recommendations

Okay so this is the 2nd year of me doing this (but this year I wont delete) butttt I show my top 10 fic and authors for each member/group( some members of bts repeat due to the amount of poly fics I read and its what I mainly read) (A handful of these have smut so heres your warning)

(I would also love to be your guys friends as every single one of you seems absolutely amazing)

LETS GET STARTED

10. @guqwrvte Make it Three (Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung)

Oh where do I start with this fic I found it in the spring looking for a Soulmate fic and oh boy I was in for a ride THREE SOULMATES?! ummm YES and the arcade chapter was ABSOULELY AMAZING! I hope you're doing well Author!! as this fic hasn't been updated in a while

9. @yonkimint Without You (Yoongi with a side of Hoseok or "Jay")

OHHHH BOY When I wanted a love triangle I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED I found this fic in April looking for angst and ANGST I GOT without spoiling it its a Pregnancy/ Single Mom AU and one of the best ones Ive read in a longgggg time

8. @guksthighs Bloom (Yoongi)

OH BOY This is a recent one actually. This one shot was made SIX YEARS AGO?! OMG Hanahaki AUs are one of my favorites angst type of fics so when I read this I literally sobbed like a baby I cant say much else without spoiling it

7. @kimnjss cyberslut (Yoongi), less of you/VINTAGE (Jimin), Strawberry Kisses(Jungkook)

MISS HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVES SINCE 2019 like when I first read beside you YESS I reread Cyberslut and HAD to include it but reading less of you in June as I was dealing with my own breakup it was a tear jerker towards the end of less of you, for me I wont spoil it but there a plot twist that I was not expecting towards the end of the sequel, Vintage. BUT STRAWBERRY KISSES OH MY GAHD I read that on my way home in August even though its a SMUTTY I enjoyed it a lot and the FLUFF I think some people looked at me crazy when I took the bus home that day

6. @skazoo if you tell me about yourself( Stray Kids' Felix)

Okay here me out! Demon Slayer. Its one of my favorite manga and anime series and with CHANBIN as a hashira UMMM YES ynand chanbin are literally Genya and Sanemi if Genya was a girl and not YK (demon slayer spoiler!!) eating demons, but this 2 parter was ABSOULTELY AMAZING

5. @ugh-yoongi a word from our sponsors (Namjoon)

How do you get a idoit podcasters to not realize they have feelings but read smut YOU GET THESE TWO MFERS This one shot was sooooooo good!! like I read a lot of smut but this? TOP TEIR OF ONESHOTS OF 2023

4. @sopebubbles Bulletproof Heart (2Seok)

THIS ROLLERCOASTER If I had to describe my childhood in fanfictions this one would be one (check #1 for the other) I wont say why because spoilers but this angst was OMG THE YOONGI HATE WAS UNREAL NOT MY YOONGLES but I loved it soooooooo much

3.@jihoonotes Yearning(SVT's Woozi)

Lee Jihoon is literally my ult bias. Do I need to say more? ITS WORTH THE READ

2. @solemnreads Way Back Home(Jungkook)

THIS FIC HAD ME FUCKING EVERYWHERE with the twins to CEO Kook THE JEALOUSLY I LOVE IT by far the best exes to lovers fic I read this year

before I tell yall #1 I wanna give an honorable mention to @purpleyoonn they would be on the main list if I was done reading you complete us BUTTTT RED STRING is amazing even though there only 2 parts so far

Okay Okay this should be expected if you been here for a bit

1.@theharrowing Literally anything they write but mainly Rose Tinted Obsessions and Collateral

Boy Blue and Collateral Taehyungs literally Remained me of In between Taehyung so much that I got inspired to write in between again everything I read from them is Absolutely Amazing, Top Tier just Yes DARK FICS are literally my go to so reading them had me sooooo happy and wanting more

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todayisafridaynight · 2 months

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Do you mind dumping all of your thoughts on ebina for us?

i dont even know where to begin on ebina he just sucks major horse cock and i cant be swayed on this but ill put it under the cut for everyones sake. this is rambly as hell too idc i refuse to spend any more time thinking about ebina more than i already do

like what is his purpose. like i KNOW his purpose but it sucks- him being a Plot Twist baby is the dumbest shit in the world and they dont even ATTEMPT to do anything meaningful with it i do not care what anyone says

why even HAVE HIM be related to ichiban if he never even interacts with ichi in a meaningful way, esp when ichi's whole theme is family-- WHEN THE GAME IS LITERALLY ABOUT ICHI MEETING HIS MOM (or it was until they decided they didnt care about akane in the plot anymore)

like we mentioned it before here but if you have to have ebina related to a yakuza from the past for his ol Bring Down The Yakuza gig then why not make him an orphan from kazama's orphanage ???? literally nothing wouldve changed except it would've made more sense with how much kiryu deals with him instead of ichi. it wouldve been a great way to round things off with kiryu's saga too, what with having to confront the consequences of kazama's actions directly and finally and officially burst that fanatic bubble of his (i dont wanna HEAR nothing about gaiden that's not enough for me im GREEDY). theres something in here too about kiryu and daigo but i cant articulate it... i just know that wouldve been better too .... something something kiryu brought daigo into this life and now that he sees kazama 'bring' ebina into this life hes projecting ... idk ..

the game def didnt seem to give a fuck that ebina was arakawa's son considering they fucking revealed it in a bland-ass in-game cutscene FROM DAIGO OF ALL PEOPLE daigo respectfully why the fuck do you know this

i dont know how many people watch my streams but i was so obnoxious about ebina's villain monologue before his fight because its just ...... it just SCREAMS Hey You Guys Remember Aoki Right. fucking Masumi Arakawa Had Two Sons: One Who Loved Him And One Who Hated Him LITERALLY SHUT UP AND DIE I HATE YOU MASATO ARAKAWA WAS RIGHT THERE AND HE DID IT BETTER THAN YOU fucking stealing his bleach japan shit too. you might be able to steal bleach japan and piss me off about it the entire time because fucking everyone and their grandmother besides zhao seems to have forgotten fucking bleach japan but you can NOT steal Number One Hater Son from masato arakawa GET AWAY FROM HER 🗣️🗣️🗣️ 'why did masumi arakawa have to get himself killed' BECAUSE HIS NUMBER ONE HATER SON HAD HIM KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS A BETTER HATER THAN YOU SHUT UP

another thing that pissed me off to no end was the sawashiro shit fuckin Oh He Kept Him Alive Because He Wanted Him To Stop Him SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I HATE YOU . i really wouldve preferred if they just killed sawashiro like old man why are you here- WE DIDNT EVEN GET TO SEE YOUR EYE GET GOUGED but im getting off topic. NOTHING bout what we've seen from ebina could convince me he Wanted To Be Stopped like absolutely nothing i dont want to hear this bullshit excuse. it is MERELY just reminding me of ichi being like 'i wish i couldve been there to stop you' @ aoki and its making me pissed

like im the only person who cares this intensely because im the only person who likes aoki enough like this and im trying NOT to mention him so much and just focus on ebina but its just so annoying... like its impossible NOT to see the parallels, especially when the game is practically bashing it into my brain every three seconds. like if we're talking aoki/masato-adjacent antags then i like eiji so its not the fact that HE IS aoki adjacent that pisses me off its just that he has no agency OUTSIDE of being a ghost of him. like there's nothing interesting about him in the slightest and he's barely even on screen why are you forcing me to give a fuck about this twat. if anything the one aoki thing i wish they did mirror onto him was dying at the end i do not care about this man

#iw spoilers #spoilers #snap chats #i think these are all my thoughts. or at least the very basics #point is Resident Aoki Fan Hates The Guy Reminiscent Of Aoki more at 11 #its like .... aoki was an interesting antagonist for his reasons you cant just frankenstein them onto this rando motherfucker #most deviantart oc ass backstory too literally kill yourself #OK IM DONE FR NOW. i wanna DRAW TODAY #maybe ill finally update my ichi blog cause ive had a post sketched for weeks but i keep getting distracted on sundays #im also driving back to school later so .... heres to hoping i have energy tonight vjeLVKERJ #im drawing other bullshit rn .. lol..

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heart2beom · 1 year

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Hellooo I’ve said this as an anon before but I absolutely love your writing! Unrelated, but I was wondering if you have any Beomgyu fic recommendations? I read everything I could in the long post containing fic recs on your previous 4beomy account and I loved every single one of them, but now I can’t find anything left so I’m just rereading my faves LOL Thank you! (And also, thank you for writing! Again, your fics make me so happy)

You’re sooo sweet, thank you for complimenting me not once but TWICE 😭😭?? In terms of recs, I honestly have no idea if I’ve read anything much lately so I had to quickly cruise through my likes both on here and my old blog 😭

I present to you the list of beomgyu fics I’ve decently enjoyed (hopefully no repeats from my other list):

-> Message in a Bottle by @delacyrose224

very cute stuff, best friends to lovers...everyone knows at this point, but i'll forever express my love for this basic ass trope (i literally have a full list of books for b2l. the best romance books come from this trope!!!). one thing i loved about this fic is the portrayal of beomgyu-- just a genuinely good guy. the way he was discreet about his jealousy instead of making a whole deal about it, like fuck i love a mature, healthy dynamic, its so freaking cute

-> Night In by @tqmies

a dark fic, but its so good. i especially liked the fantasy element/twist on a common trope. everything about this is well written but the ending will give you some heebie jeebies (cant believe i just used that) its some fucked up shit 😭 um but b2l beomgyu!! (shoot me in the head)

-> A Recipe for Love by @tinietaehyun

who doesnt love a good old b2l beomgyu roommate fluff!?!?! it's soooo freaking cute i swear i never giggled so much 😭 this writer in general is very good with words and imagery, it's incredibly vivid.

-> how could you not know? by @angelbythewindow

have you noticed the pattern? yeah, it's another b2l. i LOVED the use of flashbacks here and the cute usage of the childhood "beanpole" nickname like shut up do you want me to die? the emotions here were OVERPOWERING. i felt everything beomgyu felt, felt everything mc felt, it was just sosososososo well written.

-> Why We (Don't) Work by @cafeseoulmate

haha. definitely not another b2l!!! i never included this on my other blog's rec list (bcs i dont think it was out at the time) but it is my most recent reblog on 4beomy so i'm fairly sure you've seen it. but regardless, for anyone else who's looking for beomgyu fics, please please please READ THIS. i wouldn't say it's a plot sort of story, it builds off of a lot of flashbacks and whatnot, but that's what makes it so great. like you get a feel for their relationship, why both characters just wouldn't work out (hence the title) but then the more you read the more you're like...alright... YOU KNOW?? like fuck, i almost teared up by the end it was such a cute love confession. a must read for all the bamtoris.

-> slam dunk, lover boy by @qqtxt

just absolutely cute stuff. check out everything from this blog, just binge, you're guaranteed fluffy cuteness. nothing really happens between the two here, but its still really cute and ykw i wanted some change here, so this is a sprinkle of e2l beomgyu

-> Stood Up by @imaginidol

okay, it's angst, i'll be straight up. but idk it was an enjoyable read, even though a little sad at the end 😭

-> Moonflower by @sleeping-sirens

really sweet short stuff, i love beomgyu i swear

-> somniferous confessions by @gyu-xiao

i don't usually read bulleted fics (this is the only one i've read actually 😭) but this is worth the read. i genuinely squealed a few times, giggled like tons, it was so adorable i loved it.

-> be my date by @blossom-hwa

honestly a little bit of a blur, i read this ages ago, but it's good because blossom hwa wrote it like trust me.

-> i know i love you by @universecorp

tried really hard to not include smut but this is definitely a little more plot driven than it is smut, it's sweet. a little angsty but i love it. smut at the end is definitely skippale, just concluding it as the fact that they made love is cute enough too 😭

-> check yes, juliet by @fairyofthestar

-> Yours Truly by @boba-beom

so so freaking cute. we're back with the b2ls but who cares, we all know it fits him so well!!!

-> old friend by @hueningshaped

a little bit of a spin on the fake dating trope and i love it. exes pretending to be lovers? hello? i'm so happy the ending wasn't hard hitting 😭

Fics I'm looking forward to read:

-> The Case by @tinietaehyun

not beomgyu centered but idk i love everything this person has written so far so i'm going to tackle this series. give it a read, i'm sure this'll give someone a good mindfuck since it is a detective series 😭

-> Ashen by @writingmochi

i think i might read this tonight actually, but yeah definitely check this one out. i can sniff out a great writer when i see one!!!!

-> Newsflash! by @ijhyo

teaser has me hooked, like everything about the secret identity...yeah, will wait on it.

-> This Love by @delacyrose224

ive always thought a beomgyu and taehyun love triangle would be a recipe for a perfect fic like… it just makes so much sense because theyre so different in personalities and that clash is just a perfect storm for a love triangle. so i will be reading 🙏 plus, it’s decently long! does it get any better?

Hopefully I got you covered for a couple of days anon 😭 I'll go back to reblogging recommended fics again once I get my shit together at uni, too many good writers out here 💔

#also howd you go through that fic rec list #90% of the links are broken 😭?!?!

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cupoftaae · 1 year

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Forever and a day (KTH x READER) series♡ silent treatment cant last forever (chapter 5)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 4.1k

chapter warnings: swearing, tae is struggling :( kaito is a fucking LOSER and does a bad thing. literally all I can say is SORRY in advance !! mentions of domestic violence and abuse. Quick mention of pregnancy

A/N- I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I have most of these already written out, but I like to take time and add ideas as I go along. I kinda came up with a plot twist that will eventually play out, just dont hate me. What can I say? I love angst. ALSO- chapter 6 will be out this weekend possibly, if not, then monday ;) just a treat bc ily guys

"he's such a fucking dumbass" Kaito scoffs and takes a sip of his wine, collapsing back onto the couch next to you. You remained quiet as he ranted after you told him about the night you had.

Immediately after coming back to the apartment with taehyung, you two ended up fighting again. Something about him being childish, you being self centered, him being nosey, and you not being the old you. What does that even mean? You havent changed at all, its him who is always starting these fights.

after that, you packed a bag and ran over to your boyfriends house. It wasnt where you wanted to be, exactly, but you needed a place to hide.

"I dont think he is a dumbass, I just think....hes....i dont know? having a midlife crisis?" you shrugged, leaning into your boyfriends touch.

"midlife crisis....at the ripe age of 23 years old?"

"yeah, I think he is always comparing himself to me, and hes confused about who he wants to be. He wishes he stayed in college so bad, he even signed up for this little credit art course they ha-"

"art??" kaito laughed covering his mouth for a moment

"yeah" you turned around to look at him

"so he thinks finger painting will help him snap into being an adult?"

you stared at him, scrunching your face up in thought. Yeah, you kinda poked at tae and made jokes, but you didnt mean any harm deep down. Maybe you dont understand his little desire to paint away his feelings, but watching kaito laugh about it is different, because he means it. You suddenly felt guilty for talking about him behind his back, even if he was a dick for yelling at you a few hours ago.

"he enjoys it, its kinda cute. If its helping him back onto his feet then who cares...its not like he quit his job or anything, kaito."

"cute? more like immature"

"hey, cmon, leave him alone"

"you cant seriously be defending him"

"I just dont like talking about people behind their back, you know?"

"whatever" he scoffed, taking a sip of his drink before pulling you onto his lap. "wait..." he stopped, thinking before laughing. "I thought....I thought you said you were sick?"

Your heart stopped the minuet he spoke, how could you forget your own fucking lie, more importantly, how is he just catching this?

"Oh I was feeling better, mhm. This morning I felt like shit but I figured it would be better to suck it up and go to the dinner anyways, should have stayed home!" you blurted out and got off his lap, standing to your feet.

"right" he eyed you, standing up as well as he put his drink down. "well....do you wanna go to bed?" he asked, doing that stupid smirk face that made you somewhat angry.

"uhm, well, yeah, but im really tired kai, also im still not feeling 100% you know? so, maybe we should sleep. just..sleep." you nodded quickly and turned around on the ball of your heel, only to be yanked around by the wrist.

Your eyes widened in shock at the sudden action from him, heart pounding in your ears. Was he drunk? who knows, but that was not an ok thing to do regardless.

"let go of me, what the fuck?" you breath out, trying to tug your hand out of his tightening grip.

"you arent lying to me about Taehyung right?"

"what? What are you talking ab- let go!"

"you wouldnt lie to avoid me, right? you and him arent doing shit behind my back?" he asked, anger in his voice, something youve never seen.

"No! theres nothing!! I promise, I was just sick and, kai you are scaring me please!" you whine, mad at the tears that showed up so quickly. He saw your eyes and immediately let go, making you yank yourself backwards quickly, allowing the tears to fall as you hugged yourself.

"oh my god, im so sorry baby, I didnt mean to d-"

You both looked down at the mark left on your wrist from his grip

"shit, im so.....im so sorry, y/n, listen-"

"get away from me!!" you yelled, "Im sleeping in the guest room, d-dont come in, sober the fuck up and dont touch me again, I swear to God..." your voice shakes as you spoke, aware that if he really wanted to, he could hurt you again.

you saw regret in his face, but it didnt matter. jealousy has always been an issue for him, but its never shown like this....it was scary.

you turn quickly to run upstairs, hiding in his guest bedroom and locking the door, you wanted to leave but also didnt have anywhere to go exactly. You promised to meet up with your friend Dahyun tomorrow for lunch, so you would have to ask her to pick you up earlier.

kaito looked at the wine glass that had spilled without him even knowing, sighing and sitting with his face in his hands instead of going after you.

Taehyung woke up the next morning in the same state he had fell asleep: mad, clothed, dirty, and missing you.

He knew he was fighting you when it was happening, but there was just an overstimulation of emotions that had over poured, and unfortunately, you happened to be the punching bag.

He made a mental note to call his parents and explain later as he walked into your room. you were still not there. Given the things he said, you doesn't blame you, however he would like to apologize.

He walked into the kitchen and looked at all the food, well, more like ingredients for meals he doesnt know how to make. You said something last night to him about him needing to depend on you with everything, including meals. It hurt, but it was right. He sighed and closed the fridge, moving to go sit on the couch in the quiet apartment before opening his phone to his social media’s.

He hated to see other people and how well they were doing, but he found himself online more often then he used to be, maybe it was to inspire or motivate him, he wasn’t sure. He scrolled across Annie’s art page, stopping to pay extra attention to one post in particular.

She was good, her art was something people would pay money to see, he understood why she would be in all the art classes she could find. The post showed her setting up at the banquet hall a few streets down, something about an art fair. Tae smiled and like the post, wanting to know more about it. He contemplated dming her, eventually just giving in and doing so.

Taehyung: hello Annie, it’s taehyung, you probably know that because you can see my name, anyways, I saw your recent post and was wondering what you were setting up for?

He tapped his phone with his fingers, feeling odd to text someone who wasn’t, well, you.

He was surprised to see her answer quickly

Annie: hey tae :)) i was hoping you would text soon enough. I’m setting up for an art festival at the Julie banquet hall! You should totally come if you aren’t busy :0!!!

He laughed and bit his nail, suddenly hearing your voice in his head telling him not to do that...bad habit.

He texted back

Taehyung: when is it?

Annie: it’s being held this entire week for a viewing, but next weekend there is a contest....winner gets a prize!

taehyung smiled and looked around, that could be huge for him. Maybe this was the universal sign from the universe he needed, a sign that his rash decisions were actually working out for him. He knew he probably wouldn’t be able to go down today, for obvious reasons other than the fact he needs a shower.

He also needed to prepare something worth winning, and that required time.

Taehyung: oh wow...that sounds really interesting. I’ll probably be down later this week, thanks for letting me know.

He tossed his phone to the side and began to head for his room, knowing that he wouldn’t leave until he created a masterpiece.

As fun as this was, he had to admit, it was a good distraction from you.

"How come kai couldnt just drop you off?" Dahyun looked over at you, taking a bite of her sandwich. "well, he was a bit hungover, he had a lot to drink last night" you cleared your throat, sipping your water.

It had been a while since you and your friend saw eachother, and going out for lunch together was nice, a step away from all the boy drama going on. You were in college, and you just wanted to do normal stuff and leave the high school shit behind.

Dahyun sat back and looked you over, concern on her face. "sweetheart are you alright?"

"why wouldnt I be?

"because you look like shit, in the nicest way. Have you been sleeping?"

you laugh, looking down at your hands, "yeah, ....well, no"

"mhm, whats going on?"

"tae and I got into a fight last night, and it was just really annoying because we are always fighting nowadays, I hate it."

"is that why you were at kaitos?"

you nodded, eyes looking out the window. "I should have just stayed at the apartment though. I hate to admit it but I kinda miss him, he hasnt texted me" you sighed and re-checked your phone.

"hes a grown man, y/n, he can handle shit"

you looked at your friend, quick to remind yourself that they dont see the true venerability of taehyung like you do, they dont know that he's just emotional and feels things differently than others, so as much as you hate to say it....he cant take care of himself.

"mm" you shrug, taking a bite of a fry. "lets just talk about something else?" you suggest

"okay, let me think...." dahyun smiled to herself, searching her brain for something to talk about. "Oh did you hear about chae?" she suddenly spoke up

"no, what about her? is she ok?"

"dude she had such a pregnancy scare, she called me 2 nights ago because she was fully convinced she was preggo....shes not though so its alright" she shrugged

your eyes widened at your friends words, "what?...how did I not know this? why didnt she call me?"

"well, not to start anything but...we kinda have been calling and texting you, but you dont seem to have time anymore, which is perfectly fine, but we miss you."

you slumped down into your seat, food on the plate in front of you has now gone cold and unedible. "I dont know, man. Life is so messy right now, theres just so much going on. I miss you guys like crazy, we need to plan like a sleepover or a girls weekend." you suggest, leaning into the palm of your hand sadly.

"hey, y/n, just breathe, everything will be okay. If you are free next weekend I know a friend of mine is throwing a really fun party, i'll text you the info if you are down to go?"

you smiled hopefully, not that you were the super most outgoing person on campus, but the idea of going to a party with other kids seemed like a set up to meet some new people.

"Dahyun that sounds really fun, yes please send me the info, is chae going?" you ask, pulling out your phone

"mhm, yep...but we are gonna have to keep her with us because her boyfriend is going...well now ex boyfriend considering they broke up over this whole 'almost pregnant' scare, and-"

you quickly shut out your friends voice as you checked your socials, suddenly coming across a photo taehyung had posted on his story of a painted canvas, seemed normal enough, except the fact someone was there with him. at your apartment.

you whip your head up, "I think I have to go, im sorry, uh, something just came up and I need to get home, but uhm, you'll have to text me about nate and chae!" you spoke quickly, grabbing your purse and standing. "Thank you for having me out, I really needed it. Dont forget to text me the party details!!" you sing as you hug her and make a dash for the door.

You exited the elevator and made your way down the hall quickly, searching for your keycard in your over packed purse before bumping into someone and falling to the floor.

"ow? hel-, oh.." you quiet down when your eyes meet the person waiting outside your apartment door. kaito.

"What are you doing here?" you quickly stood to your feet and brushed past him, still searching for the key.

"baby, you havent answered my calls, we need to talk about last night. Im so sorry, I never meant to make you feel unsafe, im going through so much and I just....I just, I dont know what happened, but im so sorry!" he rambled quickly, touching your back and making you stop your movements.

"kaito..."

"i know, im so sorry, i suck and im an asshole and you probably hate me, I would too"

you sighed as your hands fell to your sides, turning to face him. "you....you arent an asshole, dont say that." you breathe out, grabbing his hand "just promise me you'll cut down on the drinking or something...I dont wanna see that again." you felt guilt throughout your chest as he looked down.

"I promise, baby, I will"

you pulled him into a hug and squeezed him, rubbing his back and moving to kiss his cheek. "head home, now, please" you whispered, watching his face fall.

"wait why? I was hoping we could hang out or make food or something?" he gestures towards your front door. "hm, Im sorry kai, maybe after classes sometime this week, I have to handle something right now...you know how he is" you quieted your voice at the last part, watching your boyfriend nod.

"okay....just, uh, text me ok?"

you smiled and nodded, "of course"

once he made a turn for the hall, you placed your keycard into the door and walked into the apartment to see Annie and Taehyung in the kitchen. You usually werent too keen on having random people in your house, you and tae promised to not invite others there without letting eachother know.

"y/n..." tae turned and saw you, making annie stop whisking whatever was in the bowl she held.

"tae" you nod, waving quietly to the short girl behind him. "didnt know there was something going on today" you joke, putting your bag down and walking in with arms crossed over your body.

"I just invited her over because it was a little too quiet over here" he joked, looking at her and smiling.

"ah I see" you smile and lean against the island counter. "what are you guys making?"

"apple pie" annie cheerfully responds, moving to her phone to change the song that was playing

"oh, yummy" you awkwardly reply, somewhat angry that she was in your kitchen and took it upon herself to use your ingredients that you bought yourself.

"tae, can we talk?" you turn to him, talking quietly.

"yeah..." he looked over at annie, "ill be right back"

she replied with a thumbs up before returning to her baking, reading the recipe off tae's phone.

You led him into your room before shutting the door and leaning against it, the boy looking back at you like he was expecting to get yelled at. "I'm sorry" you exhale, "For the other night, I dont wanna keep doing this with you" you shrug

"I dont wanna fight with you either." he spoke simply, biting the inside of his cheek nervously.

"I dont...I dont really know whats been going on with us but I rather just sit and be your friend than your enemy, you know"

he nodded, "you are right, and Im sorry too, all that shit I said, I didnt mean it, It was out of frustration which still isnt okay bu-"

you cut him off with a hug, "its okay"

he took a moment before wrapping his arms around you in return, "Are you mad she is here?" he whispered, "no...just wish you would have texted me...."

"i know, im sorry" he shook his head, sighing. "um, also, my parents called and I explained kinda the situation simply and they seemed to understand somewhat. I spoke honestly with them about how their words effected me and shit, and they said they would try to stop...well...mostly my mom will try to stop" he laughed, making you smile.

"they want us to go over to their house before they go back home, sometime later this week. I know you have classes and stuff but even if its just for one night over there, ill drive you to school in the morning if you need" he added.

"okay, we will work it out, im proud of you for sticking up for yourself" you laughed softly, making him look down shyly. "did you take your medication today?" you remembered to ask suddenly

he looked up at you and pressed his lips together before hesitantly shaking his head, "uh...I forgot.."

you sigh, "okay, lets go take it" you grabbed his hand and went back into the kitchen, brushing past annie to get to the medicine cabinet.

You took notice of how the girl eyed you and your hand against his, making you smirk to yourself. Even if you and tae were just friends, you knew no one would ever be able to squeeze between you both, not kaito nor annie.

"here, bubs" you whisper, handing him his pill and a water bottle

"whats that?" annie spoke up, cutting up apples on your good cutting board you didnt even get to use yet, making your eye twitch.

"allergy meds" taehyung spoke up, taking a sip of water as you look back at him with sympathetic eyes, his face telling you to just not say anything. His ADHD was something he assumed he should be ashamed of, something people would always use to blame his behavior on.

He didnt want to be that, he just wanted to be Taehyung.

Annie nodded and patted her hands on her apron before moving to the next thing, engaging in conversation with taehyung. "so what were you saying before she came in?" she asked, catching you off guard as you threw your hands up and walked over to tidy the living room area.

"Oh I was just talking about the art thing and how-"

"tae.." you stopped fluffing the pillows to turn to him, making annie sigh as you once again interrupted their conversation.

"what?" he looked around, confused.

"why arent you working? todays a work day?"

"oh, uh-...."

Annie smiled, "I didnt know you had a job, where do you work?"

Tae looked between the two of you before speaking up, "well...I used to work at this buisn-"

"used to? you got fired??" you walked over and held his arm

"no no....I quit, like....last week" he huffed, seeming relieved to get it off his chest. "tae, why did you, what?? why would you do that?" you looked at him seriously, knowing that there was no income for you two anymore.

"because I plan to apply for college again, I have a whole thing in the works, y/n, I promise, I didnt just do it on a whim" he spoke quickly

"y/n, he can handle himself" annie sarcastically spoke with a smile

"kindly leave please, him and I need to talk" you finally looked back at her, making her plead to taehyung.

"what? but we were doing something!" she puts the rolling pin down when tae shrugged, "im sorry annie, ill text you okay?" he walked her out before apologizing again and shutting the door.

"well aint she the sweetest" you scoff and collapse on the couch. "come here please" you spoke calmly, wanting to approach this correctly. Taehyung walked over slowly and sat on the couch next to you, keeping his body close and away from you.

You took a deep breath in and looked at him, "tae, honey, why did you do that?"

he shrugged, sighing.

"look at me"

he turned his head around to you after a few seconds, revealing the tears in his eyes. "tae..."

you are quick to wrap him into your arms, "its ok, im not mad. I just wish you told me, everything makes more sense now" you mumble

"Im sorry for not saying anything, I was just so unhappy working there and I just had to leave" he chokes out, face hidden into your shoulder. your hand finds his hair as he gently pulls away.

"i'll find a side job or something, but I really am serious about this school thing" he quickly muttered as you wiped his tears.

"Its okay...I can probably pick up tutoring for Mrs.Chin again, she pays well and if I do it after classes everyday it'll probably be enough to sustain rent" you sigh, rubbing his arm.

you watched as the boys face was filled with regret and sadness, making your heart split in two. "dont tell my parents, please" he whispers

"no...of course not" you smile lightly, "ive learned my lesson"

Taehyung laughed and leaned back against the end of the couch, head looking up at the ceiling. "so....we can talk more later if you like, but for now lets go finish making that apple pie" you leaned into him jokingly, making him laugh.

You two got up and walked into the kitchen "why did you let her use my cutting board" you pouted

"im sorry" he smiled shyly "If it counts, I know nothing about how to bake, and if I was the one making the pie we would all be food poisoned."

you laughed, "i'll teach you"

You two sat in Taehyungs bedroom, both eating a slice of apple pie as he played some game on his Xbox, you watching.

"so..." you began, scarping your fork on your plate. "art, huh?"

he paused his game and turned to you, smiling, "what?"

"youre passionate about it?"

"yeah, I suppose" he shrugged, watching you get up and walk over to his desk. "I saw these on instagram, they are actually quite nice" you added, eyeing them over as he came up behind you. "yeah, those were just some doodling to be honest." he itched his neck.

"but uh, im working on something big. Can I show you?" he spoke, watching you nod before pulling a canvas from his closet and placing it down.

The sketch included an empty, bare forest of trees in the center of a town square, details to a perfect ten on even the smallest things. "Its not done, not in the slightest but..."

"woah.....holy shit tae, you...wow" you were actually in awe. You knew he liked art, but this was beyond anything youve seen from him, it genuinely made you feel something. "this is really beautiful, is this pencil work?"

"thank you" he mumbled shyly, a blush on his face, "yeah, its pencil, I plan to add color to everything but the tree, itll remain black and white." he spoke, looking it over himself.

"does it mean anything?" you pondered aloud.

"well...its like this, trees lose everything they have in the winter, no leaves no flowers, nothing, right?" he spoke as you listened, "yet they still are just...there, while everything continues to progress and move around them, because they know if they wait, whats theirs will grow back."

"wow...." you said again, truly speechless by his work. Clearly you underestimated him, because this is beyond anything youve seen.

He looked at you lovingly before clearing his throat and putting it away again, "yeah... its for this art contest that Annie told me about. Winner gets like, a cash prize, im not sure how much, but it doesnt matter because they also win a trip to a really cool art museum in Paris" he looked back at you.

"Paris?...wow tae, I have no doubts you will win this"

"dont jinx it" he teased, walking back to his chair.

you put your hands up in defense, giggling. "so is it an art show?" you asked, following him

"yeah, I was actually gonna ask if you wanted to come....the exhibit is all this week and I plan on going on friday....was gonna ask if you'd wanna come with?" he spoke quietly, hopeful tone evident.

"hmm..I would love to" you smiled and grabbed his plate to clear, heading towards the kitchen

"oh, also...." he sat up, making you turn to him. "whats up?" you ask,

"I know this is kinda odd, but would you mind if you just...like, slept in here tonight?"

your eyes widened at him, making him feel like he overstepped

"I shouldnt have said that im sorry, I just didnt sleep last night and I always fall asleep quickly with you"

you giggled quietly, "no its okay, ill sleep here alright?" you watched his face light up , nodding

"thank you..."

"what happened to your arm?" tae asked as you climbed into his bed and shut the light off.

"what do you mean?" you were confused, sitting the side opposite of him. Taehyung pointed to your wrist, oh...yeah, that.

"oh I burnt myself, curling iron. wasnt paying attention" you sighed as he frowned. "be careful, ok?"

you nodded, "ok"

once you both were in and under the covers, the silence was welcoming. To be fair, you slept best here too, and the last time you laid here the circumstances were completely different, so it was a bit weird.

You laughed to yourself when you heard his soft snores after a few minuets, he wasnt joking. you lifted your arm and raised your fingers across your wrist.

be careful

there was so much to be careful about, and if only he knew the full extent of it.

You looked over at the sleeping boy next to you before turning to your side and closing your eyes, allowing yourself to just be here, in his bed, in this very moment, because it gave you the safety and comfort you needed so badly

be careful .....

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt

@taebangtanbabe

@kthstrawberryshortcake-main

@borahaexoxo

@lelefoodlover

@tan-veee

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marinesocks · 2 years

Text

writeblr intro!!

hi hi!! i'm helena/danger (she/her) and i'm new to tumblr but i saw a bunch of people doing writeblr introductions and wanted to join in!! i'm a bit shy when it comes to reaching out but if you interact with me at all i will like. 100% respond!!! ok here goes!!

about me

i am a:

adult,

lesbian,

ADD haver,

third culture kid,

hobbyist reader,

psych major,

avid dog enthusiast,

wannabe artist,

horror movie fan,

ecology nerd,

and, as you might have guessed,

a writer!!

i'm not incredible at it but for some reason i cant stop doing it so here i am!!

favorite genres/niches

fantasy mostly!!!

i like to think i like plot but honestly i'll like anything if the characters are good enough

HUGE mythology and folktale fan!! i have very strong opinions on how to incorporate those into a novel tho, so only ask about that if you dare!!

surprise creepy concepts and crapsaccharine worlds are like my favorite of all time. i 100% support lying about the contents of a project to keep that twist extra shocking!!

romcoms might not be my favorite but im a sucker for cute couples, especially if they are LGBTQ+

psychological horror is excellent, one of my favorites (even if i'd never dare to write it)

depictions and representations of mental health is probably the thing that's most consistent throughout my work? maybe its just the psych major talking but i find that stuff endlessly fascinating

i've lived in various places overseas for most of my life, so i enjoy stories set in unique locations absolutely DRENCHED in culture!!

current projects

i feel a bit awkward sharing these because again, i'm not a great writer, but i like reading about other writeblr's projects so i figured i'd give other people the option of seeing mine! warning for pretentious titles for very straightforward and basic concepts

WIP - flowers that mean "we'd miss you" - a short story I wrote while testing out subtext, character dynamics and prose!! the basic run-down is that a boy wakes up in the hospital and now he and his friends have to navigate a very difficult conversation. the subject matter definitely requires a content warning, and it has a few gaps i still need to fill, but overall i really like the direction it's headed!! out of all of these projects, it's probably the one i have the least issues with.

in the ataraxis of aftermath - this one is a novel i wrote for NaNoWriMo 2020! it is post-apocalyptic with elements of fantasy, slice-of-life, and romance, specifically lgbtq+ romance. it's about a girl exploring what remains of her flooded city when she suddenly finds another survivor. despite the genre, this novel is very slow-paced and calm, relying more on the character dynamics and emotional journey of the protagonist instead of traditional story beats and plotlines!! i finished the whole first draft that november (and without any real outline to guide me, so altogether it's a bit of a mess), and i plan on rewriting it after i finish the two following projects!!

WIP - the owl's wish - originally intended as a short story for just a friend and i, this project is quickly expanding into a full-on novel!! it's a haikyuu!! fanfic, but i've been told that the story is well enough removed from the show that it can work even if you don't that context. the only summary i can give without spoilers is that it's about an owl spirit with amnesia who finds a friend, and together they set off to get their wishes granted by the mysterious Lady of the Yellow Springs (but it's about more than that, i promise ;) ). it's set in ancient japan, and i referenced a few traditional fairytales when drawing up the outline, but otherwise it's a completely original folktale that can hopefully be accessible to anyone who picks it up!!

WIP - currently titled ouroboros paradox - this is a novel i am currently plotting, so honestly i'm not so sure how much i can say!! this is a fantasy novel coming from my intense passion for large creatures, horror elements, and norse mythology. as far as i know now, the story will follow two protagonists in the city of jörmungandr - one from the past and one in the present - as they try to navigate life, religion and ethics in a world where murdering living beings lengthens your lifespan. i plan on finishing my outline before this november, so i can try to hit 50K for nanowrimo this year!!

where to find me

Instagram, Wattpad, Art Fight, AO3, & Toyhouse! If you would like to read my writing but don't have a Wattpad account, i've linked the google docs directly to the titles :)

and that should be it!! if you read this far imagine i am giving you a very firm handshake with very watery eyes. if you'd like to reach out, ask questions, or share some of your story tidbits with me, please do!! i'd be so happy to reciprocate however you'd like :) have a great day!! drink some water!!!

#writeblr intro #wip intro #writblr #writeblr #writers on tumblr #lesbian writer #looking for friends #looking for mutuals #im very shy but if you want to reach out like at all i 100% will #like im 110% serious i love writing friends i'd be so happy to make more mutuals #even if you want to just ramble about something you haven't been able to like... hmu bestie i love listening to that #not even kidding let me be the audience for your passionate speeches i am begging you #helena says stuff

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td-yuri-takes · 2 months

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I LOVE SAMELLA...... read twinning with a twist and havent been the same since but they really do just work really well together if you think ab it. with both coming from bad family situations (only implied for ella tho i think) and needing everyone to like them all the time. sammy is really hurt that she's always painted in a bad light no matter how hard she tries to fix it, while ella doesnt realize how she comes across as annoying and that people dont really like her until sugar flat out tells her, and she starts spending so much time trying to get sugar to like her. its just interesting bc sammy feels defeated and ella is just determined to both be herself and be someone who everybody likes.(though, and this might just be pulling from twinning with a twist a lot, it does feel like she uses her princess fantasy as escapism. possibly partly bc shes Not oblivious i bet she realizes people dont like her that much, she just doesnt know what to do about it. if they dont like her when shes trying to be the perfect princess and polite and kind what is so bad about her that even if shes nice they dont want her?) sammy IS nice, and she doesnt hide it, but somehow ends up taking the fall for amy's behavior (even tho amy was outright awful to everyone?? this plot confused me so bad. but i guess scarlett and amy dont care, topher probably just doesnt care or Loves to stir the pot, max and rodney are probably too dense, and we know how jasmine reacted) and she has such a complex about it its Bad. i honestly love sammy i wish they treated her better. i think ella shouldve also had a last straw snap like sammy did, just absolutely go off on someone about why they dont like her. isnt she trying hard enough? whats wrong with her? and sammy might see that as inspiration and really admire ella for it, and spend more time together (without amy this is important.) then later maybe sammy asks ella for tips and she tells her that she seems like a really nice person !! and maybe likens sammy to a princess as well, because ella didnt have amy on her team influencing her perception of sammy. so that like shocks sammy and she realizes that if ella can do it she can, and if ella sees her as someone worthy just knowing Sammy, then maybe she is, and has worth on her own outside of amy. i love jasmine but i dont love the way she just lets it happen either. i think sammy believed jasmine when she said she was good, but couldnt help but feel like its only because she feels sorry for her, and not really based on her own merit because amy has never let sammy have anything for herself, not even her friendship with jasmine. so being on different teams from ella and still bonding could give them a chance to establish that connection without amy at all, which might make sammy feel more secure that ella truly means what shes saying. i think one of the conversations would happen after ella is voted off, and sammy would get mad, saying that ella was genuinely sweet and they couldnt see past the fact that she was also 'too weird', and then say her situation was similar in that they judge her on the surface of what amy tells them without ever trying to get to know her at all, and she tells amy shes done trying to compete with her. her worth shouldnt depend on whether amy or their mother thinks shes good. maybe this could also relate to ella's brief crush on dave, and how she feels betrayed by sky for being so excited when she was clearly upset about it when she thought they were friends, and she also realizes dave didnt fit the mold she wanted him to. i think sammy would comfort her after, and this shouldve been the start of ella accepting she cant spend her whole life in a fantasy or she wont make real connections. and later when they get together sammy might confess she worries about not being enough for ella, not being able to fit the princess life. but ella tells her that their relationship isnt a fantasy, its real. she wants to take it slow, and not put any expectations onto her. like, character growth. IDK sorry for the rant i just like them

this might just be my favorite thing

#td yuri takes #total drama #tdi #total drama island #td #total drama sammy #total drama ella #samella

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scarsbloodandleather · 1 year

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had this in the drafts for a LONGGG ASS TIME:,,,

i just stayed up all night thinking about trans dean!!! (hbo dean) and wrote an approximate 5 page essay of my thoughts!!! (written by a transmasc)

(just on how dean is trans while keeping majority of the plot is the same, but also better than canon..)

Starting at the beginning. born Deanna. Dean always wanted to present more masculine. as a little kid always wanted to play with the boys stuff and dress in daddys clothes not mommys. in the first scene of him holding baby Sammy, it’s very much possible that he could still look pretty much the same considering the popularity of bowlcuts in young kids especially amongst little girls at that time. After Marys death, john never knew how to shop for girls clothing, so Dean just got the most basic looking clothes, already making him slide into that masculine nature. He probably grew out his hair after Mary died for a while (because of johns inability to take care of his kids and give them regular haircuts), until lets say 6?? when Dean figured out how to use scissors on his hair. John is unfazed, like as long as it doesn’t get in the way, and monsters cant grab deans hair(idk, things like that)

Bobby is the first to figure out Dean is trans. obviously. he pays more attention to the kids than john does. Dean just acts like a boy, thinks he’s a boy, though still being technically a girl. He’s complained before to Bobby about wanting to be a boy and hates being seen as/called a “dyke” or a “tomboy” by classmates and teachers. Dean doesnt think anything is wrong with expressing those emotions, still being just a young kid.

Around 8?9? Dean end up just straight up telling john he thinks he’s actually a boy and john couldnt care less tbh, trans men were nearly invisible to society at that time, especially to someone like john who probably grew up under a rock about those things more than anyone. John probably just somehow believed what dean said.. but in a twisted fucked up way… In Johns head Dean is now “a boy with feminine parts, and that is not right, you cant be a man and feminine.” (something like that) So John double time forces hyper masculinity upon dean much too early, as a compensation for anything possibly non-masculine about dean. Trans men are not a concept in johns mind and he doesnt care at all what it could mean other than Dean just being fucked up. This ideology weighs heavily into Dean’s trauma and daddy issues. Especially when john has angry drunk outbursts of ridiculing Dean for the way he is, doing things like deadnaming and misgendering Dean on purpose.

John obviously didnt know or care about anything gender confirming beyond, “I have a son, I buy boy clothes, it’s easier in so many ways having two sons now.” Bobby was the one who fully supported and understood dean and tried to do everything he could to understand deans situation and help him with the transition.

also. no one really knew of john as a hunter at the start. so its easy for john to switch to saying he has two sons, without causing problems.

Puberty for Dean would fall around 1990/91. By that time hormone blockers were already a thing available for kids who had puberty too early, [BUT amongst my research on hormone blockers for trans people I couldn’t find when That became a common practice, and when or where it became easy(ish) to get such treatment without being denied or hatecrimed in some way...] (will have to do more research on some subjects, I still have several books and articles I need to go through) However, I do know testosterone was actually an accessible thing around the 90s for trans men(ofc i still cant find what the age is for being aproved to start hrt unfortunately).

But, I believe, thanks to Bobby’s cunning schemes, he can get what Dean wants/needs in an easy way (ex; lying about Dean’s age or gender[saying he’s intersex or a male with a hormone deficiency], stollen medical prescription forms, etc)

So maybe, most of Deans life he is stealth to most, (even if he doesnt get testosterone until later in life, there are multiple accounts of trans men more than fooling a vast majority of people into thinking theyre cis, even when literally having sex with women believe it or not(ex; Brandon Teena/Boys Don’t Cry film, a popular 50s gospel singer i forgot the name of, much more) Dean is definitely super crafty in canon so he is always finding ways to pass.

Sam knowing Dean is trans makes sense(even if he doesnt have a word for it at first) considering how close they are as siblings. And I think funnily enough he might not even know Dean is “trans” until he attends a gsa class in college(bonus: Sam is he/she/they nonbinary in my hc and they find out that too)

[Side note, because of genes*, it’s very possible for an afab in the winchester family to be up to 5’10(lets say dean is 5’9 though). He wears those 1 1/2 inch heeled boots he does in canon (funny how he’s canonically trans coded sm), with shoe inserts on top of that and, boom. easily 5’11-6’0. yet, he is still more than four inches shorter than his younger brother.(idk i think sam should chill like maybe he can just be 6’2or3 in hbo, bc *john is still 6’1or2, and mary’s family also has tall men*)]

Moving on. According to the timeline dean discovering girls (and boys) happens next at 12/13 (pls help i’m on the aro spec and dk the normal age you get crushes)

but since we already know john is even more strict about Dean’s masculinity than he would be with someone whos amab (notice john canonically is less forcing of masculinity upon sam... i wonder why....) Well in saying that, here comes the intense homophobia. Dean cannot like men. “thats for girls. and Dean said hes actually a man, and I cant let dean be feminine in any way” or some bullshit like that.

Somewhere in the future, before Dean turns 17, john is “worried” about deans possible attraction to men. Sends him on the nun hunt by himself. It’s a big step especially for Dean being afab and john still seeing him as weak and feminine despite believing Dean is actually a dude. (I think this is also the same reason, canonically, sam is so surprised that at 26 dean is going on his own hunts??)

But like- so if the last time Sam saw Dean, Dean was 22 and still an irresponsible youth, still new to the freedom of things that came at 21 and what not(even if dean has been drinking from a young age) and considering johns treatment of Dean, and Deans dependency on johns toxic grasp on him, Sam could still be surprised dean is on his own now[even if dean went on his own at 17, but sam wouldnt know that,, and plus it was just so john could teach him a lesson] So maybe john also let Dean go on his own at 23(before then dean always went with another person) and because he would soon see Dean and his hunting partner of the time, Lee, getting along “too well” he would just fr gaslight dean to just go on his own from then... (something like that)

Focusing back on Dean’s transition, I actually have no idea when dean would get top surgery bc of the busyness of a hunters life. but im thinking it’s a top priority of Deans for a while because of the discomfort of not being able to wear a binder when hunting, only a sports bra, which depending, could still be very uncomfortable for him dysphoria wise. (i know the struggle) Again, Bobby probably one to help with the whole process of payment, recovery and scheduling a good time.

When dean finally gets his top surgery it is when he is with Cassie. (theyre literally both t4t bi4bi) Dean by luck finds a nice girl at a queer bar and settles down with her and decides its time to chop the flesh bags and Cassie helps him in his recovery. (of course i think dean still goes hunting in secret and messed up the healing process and ends up with sorta messed up scars)

Now lisa well... (actually I think canon dean dated her before cassie, but she was only introduced later so-) okay Lisa lowkey gives me transphobe vibes-.. I wonder if it could be that even after they hook up she still isnt even aware that dean is trans, she still finds out someway though. (rip ben actually being from a random biker in this au, bc canon he is 100% deans kid) When Dean sees her again, they run into eachother and catch up despite lisa still being transphobic. She’s fine with just talking but keeping distance. Ben, already liking dean like a father figure, doesn’t understand why lisa dislikes him, even after she explains how Dean is trans, like most kids at that age it’s simple, if he looks and acts like a boy, he is a boy. Kids dont fucking know a thing about body parts or genders... Ben with that ideology, ultimately opens Lisas eyes on trans people and is now okay with Dean.

The only next big plot point I can think of?? is..

Cas raising Dean from hell. While recreating Dean, he sees Deans entire being through Deans perspective. and how Dean is meant to be rather than how he was born. In my mind it makes sense to cas as angel, by seeing Dean’s soul, his memories, everything that makes Dean, well.. Dean, that he is indeed a man. Also because angels have no construct of gender(besides how humans are born) and being genderless in the first place, Cas doesnt associate body parts with genders. He just knows dean is a man and is like “well if hes a human man he must have these parts i guess?”, Deans views of himself blurring his previous form, everything on how dean looks is slightly masculinized. Cas doesnt even think about how come these scars on deans chest are significant and important to him, at any point in the future he could still easily remove them, but he knew they meant something to dean in his mortal development and despite being a “flaw” they are the two scars he didnt wipe clean off of Dean’s body. Everything else, its like- as if Dean was born a man, or at least, however Dean wanted to look. (and still, cas removes all of deans tattoos. dean is pissed asf at cas. even if they had significance to dean, cas still removed them as it was not a part of his body and soul like the top scars, just a foreign blemish made of ink)

That is all i should probably fit in a post now, lmao

#my post #hbo spn #hbo supernatural #hbo castiel #hbo dean winchester #hbo sam winchester #spn #supernatural #hbo spn castiel #hbo spn dean #hbo spn sam #dean winchester #trans dean #trans dean winchester #hbo spn trans dean #transmasc #trans #transmasc dean #transnatural

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