#it's tragic and cruel and preventable. and that is the point. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

swannieluv · 6 days

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₊⊹ Fogaréu.

✦⸼࣪⸳ Pairing: Arlecchino x GN! Childhood friend Reader

✦⸼࣪⸳ WC: 4k

✦⸼࣪⸳ Warnings: Injuries, child abuse, blood and death.

✦⸼࣪⸳ Insp. by João e Maria - Chico Buarque

✦⸼࣪⸳ A/N: Finally wrote for Arle and I really liked it! I hope you can enjoy reading this and GOOD LUCK ON YOUR PULLS!!!

✦⸼࣪⸳ likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated!! <3

If there was one thing the Knave knew about herself, it was that she was no saint. One way or another, she had to triumph over those around her to climb the ladder of power and reach the top. She watches over everyone with a sharp but zealous eye, without losing mutual respect for those under her wing.

On nights like this, with the children already in bed, The Knave would be found walking peacefully through the dark corridors, only a small lamp in her hands for company. Every now and then, the ghosts of the past seemed to walk around her in that pit of darkness.

With subtle movements, she gently opened the door to one of the rooms, checking if all children were asleep. It was an unnecessary gesture, since no child - at least not those with a love for their lives - would dare disobey such a simple rule for nothing. It wouldn't be strange to say that she had ironically acquired this maternal habit after becoming Father. Was she getting soft? No. Absolutely not.

Cautiously measuring the force with which she closed the door, preventing any of the children from waking up, Arlecchino stares at the tiny splinters made by the children to measure the height. In it, three familiar names almost washed away by the action of time. Perhaps the door should be replaced soon, in a small renovation planned with the money from a "kind donor".

Her fingers ever so gently touch the splinters. There was nothing much to it, so why... why did her mind start resurrecting the forgotten ones of the past? She finally allowed herself to be carried away by the wave of nostalgia for the first time in many years, since that was the room she had once used.

"..."

'I'm sorry, I didn't know it was your spider :('

The white-haired child stared at the note slipped under the door for a few seconds before folding it up and slipping it into her pocket. At that time, there was no 'Arlecchino' but Peruere.

It would be comical if it weren't tragic that the child on the other side of the door had crushed Peruere's pet spider with full force the other day, though it wasn't necessarily their fault if the animal was running around unnoticed on the floor. She harbored hatred and resentment towards her spider's killer, it’s just not worth the stress. But seeing her pet crushed at someone else's feet was cruel enough.

If it hadn't been for their remorse, the chances of Peruere opening the door would have been zero. So she decided to give just one more chance to her… friend, the troublemaker [Name].

"You killed Lady Belladonna."

Peruere left the room, walking aimlessly. However, her unwanted companion crossed the path all the time. Sometimes they were walking to the right, other times they were in front or diagonally. It was annoying and they stepped on Peruere's shoes all the time, almost knocking them off.

"Ms. Bella- Ah, the spider." [Name] blinked twice before their face burned with shame at the attitude towards the animal. "In my defense... I didn't know that ugly insect- err, I mean, devoid of beauty, was yours."

"Spiders are..."

"Arachnids..."

The light from the lamp had been extinguished long ago, leaving its bearer in complete darkness for who knows how long. Or rather, it returned Arlecchino to the bitter realm of reality. Standing in silence, she navigated for minutes in thoughts that are only allowed after the flames of the fireplace have ceased.

There is no clear distinction between what exactly is acceptable and what is bad, it's all a question of point of view. Many factors differentiate Arlecchino from her predecessor. But in the end, the King's cycle has always repeated itself and always will, no matter who is in control and what their policies are.

During all the years that Arlecchino exercised her role as Father within the House of Hearth, there was never a child who couldn't be "tamed", a challenge that was never overcome.

There has never been a challenge like... [Name], and Arlecchino can only be thankful for that since, without a shadow of a doubt, they had been simply the clumsiest child the House of Hearth has ever received. Stumbling around the corridors with that typical mischievous grin on their face.

Carrying drawing materials, instruments, weapons or anything else they could get their hands on, [Name] ran up and down the corridors looking for something they could make or break.

It wasn't uncommon for those around them to stop what they were doing to observe the way they carried herself around, Peruere included. [Name] was a strange child, but undeniably very charismatic. However, once they had passed, everything returned to its usual monotonous rhythm, because they were so...

"Exaggerated."

The word left her lips unconsciously, slipping out of her thoughts and taking shape. It was a slip of the tongue that surprised even its author, whose face didn't let go of its stoicism for a second.

There wasn't a single action carried out by Arlecchino that didn't carry with it a purpose. From the time they went to bed to the food they ate, everything was done to ensure that the children performed as well as possible. After all, there are no quality sheep without pasture.

Leaving that aside and the inspection completed, she turned back to the traditional home office - of course, she had completely redesigned it after taking over, but it was still classic.

Arlecchino had always been professionally organized. She didn't have a lot of paperwork because she didn't do it, but because she simply did. As a Harbinger, countless responsibilities fell on her shoulders. Just the slightest slip-up would not only jeopardize her, but also those around her.

Accompanied by the typical cherry tea - one of her few preferences - the Harbinger diligently wrote like there was no tomorrow, at a fast and precise pace. Alongside this, the sweet aroma of the tea didn't help to stop the parallel thoughts, sugary like the distant memories tormenting her thoughts today, dancing around her head and bringing to the surface what should remain guarded.

"You don't seem to understand anything about this." The x-shaped pupils reflected in the liquid served as a distraction from the constant boredom, or just a way of distancing herself from her surroundings.

Ah, yes. That's exactly what they used to do, tea parties prepared by children who had no idea how they worked. Brilliant.

"And what's there to understand? We just have to put tea in the cup and drink it then-" The rest of the words were like an incoherent buzz, proof of the vagueness surrounding these memories. "Let me show you. It's just like that-"

Splash.

"..."

Without her noticing, the tea had spilled on her white jacket, staining it a blood red. A pity, as it was such a pretty piece. Leaving that aside, her first action was to check for any burns and take it off to clean.

She would wash it with her bare hands in the laundry room, well away from the bedrooms so as not to interrupt anyone's sleep. Then she left the rings on the table and made her way through the house again, with no light to guide her. It was so chilly when the fire was extinguished. But she was used to it, and certainly so were the other residents.

"Freminet, you know that I can see you. Right?"

"P-Pardon." From the shadows emerged Freminet, face turned downwards as if he were hiding something and his usual shy attitude. He seemed to be desperately wiping away the tears flowing from his eyes; after all, Father didn't like it when children cried.

She turned around, looking away from Freminet. "You shouldn't be awake. Go back to your room and I'll let it slide this time."

"Yes, Father." Freminet fled the scene like a shadow. There was no intention of frightening him, only of warning him.

He was there before she became Father, although he was too young to possibly remember much of the events that led to her ascension. Well, he was a good kid either way.

Arlecchino didn't like tears, they were just a semblance of pain and weakness. She had already seen too much suffering in her life to hate them. They were a reminder of the suffering experienced and something she wouldn't like to see again.

But it didn't mean they couldn't cry by themselves. She only wanted them to be strong enough to defend themselves so not have to go through the horrors of the world, although she knows it's impossible.

"..."

How many times did Peruere wake up in the dead of night, in pain and agony as her curse only intensified? Inside, she wanted to let out an inhuman scream, which is a way of being heard in this fairytale-like hellhole.

The silence around her agitated her further and further, and in a numb state, she couldn't rest. At any moment, it was as if she would be eaten from the inside out by the curse inside her body.

"Hey, hey... Calm down, is everything all right?"

The pain she felt that day was real, but the comfort given to her was more markable. It hurt (and a lot), but no tears would dare to flow from her exhausted eyes, carrying a great deal of fatigue. "You're not going to tell Mother, right?”

“Not if you don't want me to.”

"Then don't.” She didn't want to be taken care of by her, so she was fine as long as the pain didn't kill her. "Although I don't think she'll stay in the dark about it for long."

“But won't Mother be mad if she sees us awake?” They sat on her bed, keeping distance enough to be able to jump quickly to their own in case the door opens.

The leather belt hanging on the side of the old clock was a threat for those who were bold enough to try to break the rules. All children should be in bed during the whole night, no exceptions. But no one could stop [Name] from doing what they wanted.

“If she gets mad, then I'll take the blame for you…”

“Then you're just gonna get hurt!” They left an incredulous whisper. There was no way she would do that, right?

“And won't you?”

��Honestly, I'd rather be beaten than grounded.”

In a way, being hit would be better because it would happen once and then they could heal for the next few days. Since they weren't doing anything too serious, the punishment wouldn't be so bad.

But being grounded was the worst thing that could happen to a child inside the House. Or they would get excruciating tasks during weeks, or have their freedom taken away as if it was nothing. And [Name] certainly didn't like being stuck in a dark room with little light for days.

“I don't think there's a better option between those two…”

"You need more rest, you know that?" Arlecchino could no longer feel the comfort of those hands. But she was sure it was a gentle touch, because she didn't feel repulsed. "I don't understand why you accept to go through all this pain alone..."

"Because only pain breeds understanding—"

Mother's motto, a phrase repeated over and over again as a justification for the punishments handed out. Painfully engraved in children's minds as a survival rule.

"No, no, no, no, no," the hurried voice tried to silence the other. "Shh, shh. It's not like that, stop thinking like that."

"If you want to talk, then talk. If you want to cry, then cry... For the archon, if you even want to kill, then kill! But don't accept things so easily! It's so frustrating!"

Their whispers were angry, but it was clear that the anger was not directed at Peruere. In any case, she felt a little guilty about making someone take care of her.

“I don't believe that's exactly how it works—” she answered, grabbing her arm as it itched from under her skin. The simplest movement of Peruere's fingers was enough to make them snap and the sound echo through the room.

“Can I see your arms? Or is it still hurting a lot?” They wouldn't do anything without Peruere's permission. Even though they hated seeing her like that, they would respect her boundaries just like she respects theirs.

“You can…”

They gently gave her a gentle massage, trying to help that overbearing pain to go away. Peruere tried to think of something she could say to thank her friend without the typical “thank you”. Her lack of expression was a bit frustrating.because she didn't want to come out as ungrateful, but couldn't think of the right thing to say.

“Hm… thank you…” She ended up saying the same overused words, and was about to apologize when she saw the droplets of water drip down their face. How weird, for it was the first time someone had cried for her, and the first time she had been hugged so tightly.

“It's really okay… I just want to see you well.”

"Come on, you know I care about your well being." The embrace that enveloped her was as warm as an ember, and helped her hide the shame on her face. "You're not going to take my advice, are you?”

"No."

"Haha... You're so stubborn." Wiping away their tears, [Name] released Peruere's cheeks.

The scene didn't last long. It was all because they were careless enough not to notice the person standing there in the doorway, watching with a neutral, expressionless face. They were taken by surprise like two rabbits in a trap.

“Peruere, [Name], go to the Hearth room. I wish to see the two by the morning.”

That tricky grin that appeared on the woman's face never failed to confuse Peruere. Mother knows best, so why… Why was Peruere starting to slowly doubt her conduct?

The two could only stare back and low their head in respect — no, fear. Whispering the same thing in unison, they silently made their way to the door.

“Yes, Mother.”

During the daily routine, the Knave set aside a part of the evening to get together with the orphans by the fireplace. A family activity that built their companionship and teamwork for future missions, certainly not an excuse for them to have the playtime they needed while growing up.

She usually sat in the furthest seat, watching them talk in their jovial, relaxed language. These young people today... she was sure that these dialects were not part of the vocabulary used during her youth.

Generation by generation, they would have to fight their way to the top. But now, she hopes that this chain is broken and plans for her method to continue for a good few years after her title passes on.

Lyney. He was the most likely to take over as King, although she still doesn't believe he's fully ready to take on the challenge. He was a kind-hearted child, but he needed to evolve so that he had what it took to abandon childlike ways and embrace a different reality forcefully.

In a way, someone had to suffer so that others could survive. Whether it was selfish for her to be the one to choose that person or not is a matter for another discussion. But just the thought that most of these children could become adults already appeased Arlecchino's heart.

As she closes her eyes and contemplates the sound of the fire crackling and the laughter of those around her, alongside the moonlight, Arlecchino's mind drifts to the past once again.

Just for a second...

“What is it exactly that you want, Peruere?”

"I wish for the same as the others." Everyone is waiting for the moment when they will compete for the position of King, aren't they? After all, that's the goal. "But what about you? What do you want?"

"All I know is that I know nothing. Stupid,. isn't it?"

Click.

The opening of the window completely dispelled those thoughts of Peruere, who was absentmindedly observing everything. Ahead, [Name] took in the cool breeze and the warmth of the sunset rays that touched their face, now clear and fresh in the Knave's mind.

Carelessly, already characteristic of them, [Name] climbed onto the windowsill. "I don't want to be King, or Mother, or Fatui or... anything."

Although the light touched every inch of the room, it was as if Peruere remained in the dark. There, hidden in the shadow cast by [Name], she looked away.

The hand outstretched to her, how could she possibly forget it? The hesitation to grasp it would forever be one of her greatest regrets, as would all the words that went unsaid. Peruere's cold, disconnected manner had often been the best weapon she could use, but also a major flaw.

"I want to be... free."

"..." Without an answer, her gaze only followed [Name]'s raised hand, pointed at the sky - more precisely, two birds hovering there.

"Tell me, Peruere..." the dramatic pause, their eyes still full of tears. Everything contributed to the melancholy of the moment "Will we ever be like them?"

"..."

Freedom. Peruere never had never truly believed in it. There is no such thing as true freedom, never has been and never will be. Does being free mean having autonomy? What nonsense, at the end of the day everyone is tied to their ideologies and beliefs. The two of them were no exception.

[Name] was like a resilient flame that lit up the frigid walls of the House of Hearth, bringing an air of change and perhaps hope wherever she went. On the other hand, Peruere was a... moth, yes, a single moth that belonged in the darkest corners of the night. Their flaw was clearly their ego. From an outside view, not in a million years could [Name] become King. However, something was burning inside those hopeful yet stubborn eyes, an even greater ambition.

Undeniably, Peruere felt slightly confused about them. They were a source of trouble, that was a fact. But then, why was she increasingly tempted to go against the rules with them?

"Don't dream too much. Freedom is too distant a utopia for us." She offered [Name] her hand in return, helping them down from the window.

"But aren't you curious? Maybe... maybe the world isn't as small as in here."

"And if it isn't? Will it make any difference? Either way, we'll still be chained up like the good dogs we are."

"Hm..."

"Look at me." The seriousness in [Name]'s gaze surprised me. There was no longer that silly smile on their face, nor did their voice carry the same casualness, just the seriousness needed.

"If you're going to be King, do it properly."

The metallic smell of blood no longer bothered her - she'd been feeling it long enough to get used to it. And the disgust at being stained with Crucabena's blood was tremendous, and the emptiness of the corridors was a stark reminder of the massacre that had taken place there, since at that moment, only Peruere's deep footsteps could be heard.

Did [Name] manage to get out? Surely those who survived had gone into hiding somewhere, so Peruere made a point of searching every room from top to bottom to make sure that none had been left behind from the first search. There was no longer a Mother to run to, one monster had just devoured another in the great food chain that shapes the structures of the House of Hearth.

The bloody marks on the wall gave Peruere an ominous feeling. But now, the goal was different: to find [Name]. With everything that was going on, she was sure that the other would fulfill the agreement they had made. If [Name] wasn't there, then they had successfully escaped. So Peruere ran from where she was to the fireplace room.

And [Name] did as said. They laid there, leaning against the fireplace as if seeking the comfort of the flames. But what she didn't expect was the large open wound in their chest, which they held in distress at the pain caused.

And of all the memories Arlecchino could have, this was undoubtedly the freshest and most agonizing. It plagued her mind like a broken record, repeating itself over and over and over again.

That was the first time she didn't feel fear, but pure dread. Hidden by the serious face, her heart was restless from the sudden rush of adrenaline until her face paled like paper and her eyes widened as if they were going to pop out, for the person standing there was about to die.

"Y-You... did you... do i-it?"

She nodded in agreement, before kneeling down next to them. Peruere couldn't hide her nervousness, unconsciously biting her lower lip to keep it all in; because [Name] didn't deserve to see Peruere in the state her mind was now in.

"Y-You got really... hurt, h-huh?"

With one hand, they stroked Peruere's cheek. This time she remembered the feeling of the fingers getting colder and colder and the weakness that made them tremble, which was why she removed the other's hand from her face.

"[Name]..."

"I wasn't quick enough... I-I-"

"Shh... spare the words."

Peruere took them in her arms, supporting their head as she tried to calm her down - they were already calm enough, it was Peruere herself who needed it. She already understood that death would tear one more person away from her as the flames warmed them, at least for now.

"T-Talk to me, please. I don't want to die in the silence… A-All this quietness is torturing me…" their voice had already become a desperate whisper while they clutched to Peruere tighter, as if they needed her — and they did.

Peruere wiped the blood dripping from [Name]'s lips, before thinking carefully about what to say. Breathing heavily, she began to sing. "Now it was fatal...That the make-believe would end up like this...

[Name]'s eyes widened one last time, before tearing up. But it wasn't out of sadness, as their smile remained and even grew. What a sight, for someone close to death to be reassured by so little.

"I thought... you didn't... like lullabies...?" They were gently interrupted by a finger over the lips.

"Beyond this yard... It's a never ending night..."

They felt their breathing slowly cease, the hand holding hers loosen, and the tears in their eyes flow. Poor [Name], they wouldn't see the end of the song, because they'd already be on the other side. "Peruere... T-Thanks... for being... my friend..."

"B-Because you disappeared into the world without telling me..." Never had Peruere's voice trembled so much. But she would keep singing, she needed to finish this melody for that one peaceful smile as if their life hadn't been taken so painfully, or she would regret it bitterly for the rest of her life.

"And now I was a foolish one asking..." she wiped away her friend's tears and closed their eyes, which reflected the starlight on the other side of the window. Now they would become just like a bird and know true freedom, while Peruere would remain a moth in the dark, without her flame to guide the way.

"What is life going to do with me…?”

#swanniesarchive <3 #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin platonic #fontaine #genshin x gender neutral reader #angst #arlecchino #arleccino genshin #arlecchino x reader #platonic Arlecchino x reader #platonic genshin x reader #platonic genshin impact #tw death #tw child abuse #tw blood #tw injury

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sugar-grigri · 4 months

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The ambivalence of life: the massage metaphor

I'm going to get straight to the point: Denji is perfectly right to want to suffer - it's precisely what he lacked in his 'normal' life.

To understand this, let's go back to the chapter.

Introducing Denji as a CSM wannabe right at the start of the chapter isn't as insignificant as you might think, because this chapter helps to differentiate between CSM and a CSM wannabe.

After all, Denji could very well be one, and chapter 150 makes it clear that the protagonist's dream is to be a CSM, so he literally wants... to be a CSM.

But in order to become CSM himself, we have to understand what CSM is. And that's precisely where the difference lies between a CSM wannabe and Denji as CSM.

Part 2 has repeatedly shown that 'CSM' has become a marketing product, an idol for young people, a source of detestation for others, like express usurpers who have taken to the stage. In short, CSM's identity began to become more diffuse, questioned to the point where it seemed to escape Denji. So what is CSM?

Well, let me ask you this: what's the first thing you think of when I mention CSM?

Most fans will cite the most traumatic and tragic chapters, shuddering at the mere mention of volume 9. There's your answer: suffering is the secret of CSM's identity.

But let's move away from this more meta side, and get back to the chapter.

I know that Nayuta being pushed aside and put in her place stung some people's hearts and it hurt me too! But Denji is right to push her away, cruel as that may seem. Because the complexity of Denji and Nayuta's relationship also lies in the fact that their relationship can have several negative sides.

Firstly, Nayuta is and remains the demon of control, a demon who can't help but have a hold, even over those she loves. And she has done this with Denji on one occasion: when she forbids him to see Asa again.

She forbids it out of a desire to protect him, fearing that Denji will be taken in by yet another girl. This reaction depresses Denji, but he regains hope by acting as CSM, motivated by Nayuta herself because CSM is admired and loved by people. The first instinct at this stage would be to think that this is a bit contradictory: why push Nayuta away when she's the first to admire and encourage CSM?

Because she hasn't grasped what CSM is all about either. I'll expand on that later, but for now, keep in mind that suffering is intrinsic to CSM. Even when she prevented Denji from continuing his story with Asa, she was preventing Denji from suffering, in itself, from experimenting. The same experience can be just as beneficial as it can be negative, and it's part of the game of life not to know the outcome of a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't go with others.

And that's what Nayuta has done, the demon of control has a happiness that's enough to be two, it's a demon that risks being alone so much that a single loved one is enough to make her happy. But that's Nayuta's idea, not Denji's.

I'll come back to this a bit more, but for the moment I'm still going to follow the chapter. Denji almost comes to thank Barem and the others for burning down his house and his pets, but he's also aware that morality is being undermined and even talks to Pochita about it. And that's fascinating.

Even though it may seem horrible, the loss of his animal family allows Denji to realise that he needs this suffering in his life, for many reasons. If Kishibe judged Denji as a man made to kill demons, it's because suffering makes him gloat, because it's the most intense experience he's had in his life.

Transforming himself into a CSM is a way for Denji to confront suffering; he has even internalised it since he was a child, making his body suffer to pay off his debts.

CSM is a creature made for suffering. When Aki became possessed by the Gun Devil, CSM was the culmination of Denji's suffering, his demonic form killing his brother. Just as Denji transformed into Pochita was saved by a dying Power.

The foundations of Denji, Aki and Power only consolidated Denji's relationship with suffering. This double facet, between love and suffering through grief. Pochita is another example, because becoming CSM was followed by an experience of mourning, the loss of Pochita who had merged with him.

Suffering is as intrinsic to all species as are death and love because suffering is the result of both, the love we have for others is the cause of our suffering when they die.

CSM is this universality, with Pochita sacrificing himself to prevent Denji from dying, suffering every time the cable is pulled. And instead of fighting it, CSM uses it as the engine of his chainsaws. When Nayuta says that this is not the time for chainsaws, she wants to prevent her brother from suffering. But Denji understands that it's precisely when he's suffering that it's time to be CSM.

Having your head and arms brutally chopped off hurts, fighting demons hurts, in short, transforming into a CSM physically hurts and must hurt. Imagine having a cable cut in half across your torso: it hurts, so why pull it? That's why Denji IS CSM, because it's when it hurts that he realises he wants to be CSM?

Hybrids don't exploit this pain, demons like the Eternity Demon are even afraid of it, and that's what explains CSM's superiority: suffering exalts him and he uses it as a means to fight. When Quanxi cut off the weapons' heads, it was enough for them to admit defeat, while Denji calmly puts his head back on, not giving up the fight.

Weapons can't die, but they can see others die, just as suffering can't escape them either. Either they see themselves almost as demigods, as prophets, or they can see themselves as great knights out to save the world.

Denji knows how to exploit his nature; he drinks blood at the slightest opportunity, tries to devour like a demon and is not afraid to use it, unlike the other hybrids. (Quanxi is an exception)

As the spear weapon starts to provoke CSM by saying to really scare them, CSM exploits being sliced in half. Suffering is the fear of weapons.

The whole thing also has a symbolic force, because we've been trying endlessly to cut Denji in two, his human life on the one hand and his life as CSM on the other. Cutting CSM in two won't do him any good, all he has to do is pull his cable.

But above all, the comparison with massage is a very good one, because it sums up life, this combination of good sensations and not-so-good ones. This is precisely what pitted Denji against Makima, that bad films or bad facets of the world and humanity must exist.

This time, part 2 doesn't boil down to this ideology; what Denji is saying is that to live is also to suffer, to be happy is also to have been unhappy. All these things are not mutually exclusive, they go together.

That's why Denji wins against the weapons, because he won't fight against the suffering they'll put him through, he'll use it to the full, knowing that behind it all there'll be a good feeling. And that seeing the positive side even in pain is nothing other than hope.

Denji himself says that life is a superposition of all these facets. There are things we may never get over, but they don't stop us from moving forward. That's why this chapter is incredible, because Denji doesn't accept suffering as a demon when he's fighting, he wants to accept it in his life too, Denji's life, he has to experiment without Nayuta's permanent approval.

Denji has lost many people close to him, including his pets. It is precisely through their loss that he wants to suffer. Because suffering is the privilege of the living.

Chainsaw Man is nothing more than 2 entities reunited to survive together.

CSM's laughter is symbolic of this, and chapter 151 made an explicit reference to chapter 82 when Makima starts laughing despite the paroxysm of suffering for Denji, who has just seen Power die. What Fujimoto does is bring together the previous antagonist and the protagonist, to bring out the essence of his work.

Both Makima and Denji laugh despite the horror of the situation as the mask finally comes off, Makima presents her plans and Denji realises what Chainsaw Man is. In short, laughter is the symbol of letting go, as the mask finally comes off. And all this sums up Chainsaw Man, this confrontation between comedy and tragedy, this strange association.

Readers, don't fight the suffering of the characters either, you're reading CSM precisely because of it. You want to suffer just like CSM. So have fun with it.

#chainsaw man #csm #csm part 2 #csm spoilers #csm 152 #csm 151 #denji hayakawa #denji #asa mitaka #yoru #nayuta #nayuta hayakawa #kishibe #pochita #makima #tatsuki fujimoto #my thoughts #csm analysis

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direquail · 4 months

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My specific read on John is not that he's a nice guy, either. It's that, like any good character (specifically a tragic character, which, TM has said that he is modeled on a mythical tragic hero, so) he has a flaw that dooms him. And what that means is, when he has the choice to change what he's doing, that flaw either prevents him from taking the option he's aware of, or prevents him from being aware that there is another option altogether.

And so as a writer, what I look for are moments where either:

something good about a character becomes an excess that harms themselves or others

we receive information that shows a persistent blind spot a character has

we look for times when a character gives their view of the world/a situation and it Does Not Match Up with reality, or is hinted that it doesn't

we look for evidence of something simmering under the surface that clashes with their outward, agreeable presentation

What fills that role for John?

Yep.

When this first pops up, it's pretty easily dismissed as yet another layer on the falsehood he's propped up. Admittedly, he's been doing it for ten thousand years, so it's probably got a few layers to it.

However:

This one, to me, gives us a hint about what John is blind to: That his friends see his vindictiveness and his failings and that they could still love him. This is where it crosses into tragedy, for me; where his own inability to forgive blinds him to the capacity that other people have for generosity--and so, to a world where "justice" means more than "vengeance for the dead".

And this illuminates the whole chain of events that leads him to that climactic scene in Harrow the Ninth, telling Mercy that she never would have forgiven him anyways:

John is, at heart, deeply angry--like most characters in the series, and like a lot of people who grew up in poverty, especially if they managed to escape it. He also has some deep sense of justice, and deep sense of judgment.

So we have this cycle of related emotions and ideas: Justice, judgment, outrage. And a human measure of selfishness, amorality, double standards, etc.

In one situation, this allows him to throw himself completely into the cryo project, something that (if it hadn't been sabotaged politically) could have made a difference to humanity. He brings in people who work to make it even better, who demonstrably want to make the outcome as just and humane as possible. It's also implied that this is part of why he received those powers; "I chose you to change."

(And, I'll be honest, one of the other things that I see that chafes me is the implication that there was nothing about John to recommend him to the Earth. I'm actually of the opinion that there was; she chose him, and I don't think she just rolled a d100 or drew a card off a tarot deck and called him up. John is also still a human, flawed person.)

Then, the situation changes. It's no longer an issue of dedicating expertise to solve a problem; this is a political issue, and specifically of rich people using their resources to shift outcomes towards the one they think will benefit them the most, that will secure their survival, explicitly at the expense of everyone else.

And their strategy is, profoundly: short-sighted and unnecessary (pooling resources would help create a better outcome for everyone, including the rich, by reducing global trauma and preserving more of the systems that already structure their world); bigoted and uninformed (many rich people think that the world has to be a certain way, generally that the world is violent, competitive, dog-eat-dog, etc., and someone has to be "on top", and there will always have to be a loser, or lots of losers); and utterly cruel, unjust, and pointless.

And John--John, who grew up poor, who grew up aware of the despair around him and the injustice of his position and more than likely made use of that anger to achieve what he had up to this point--John is so angry.

Because they're all the same. They're all the same. It's the same song, over and over again, no matter how stupid and pointless and unnecessary. He is certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it doesn't have to be this way. He passes judgment.

But John is losing to them, because he doesn't have the resources they do. He can hate them and fight them all he wants, and it doesn't matter, because he's nowhere near in the same league as they are politically.

And then, after the cryo project is cancelled, he gains his powers.

The thing about anger and judgment is that the deeper it runs, often, the more invested the person who holds that anger in themselves is in not seeing what they hate in themselves. E.g: John has conceptualized the people he's resisting as fundamentally unjust, cruel, amoral, and bigoted. There's a very good chance--to different degrees, depending on the person--that becoming aware of similar traits in himself might wake up those feelings he has towards those other people--aimed at himself (that is, cognitive dissonance). He can't see the things he's passed judgment on in himself and function. He's not like them; he's trying to fix things, to bring about justice.

Of course, there's justice as in "living in a just society", and justice as in "justice for the dead". But that's a later realization, because right now, everyone is still alive.

So John hides those parts of himself; from himself, from other people. So thoroughly he can exclude it from his consciousness and pretend it doesn't exist. He thinks no one sees the real depth of his own rage, his own cutthroat pursuit of a solution. And then, when he can't pretend it doesn't exist, he can still pretend to be the man he thinks they need him to be. He can "fool" them. He can say--he's trying. He screwed up. He doesn't know what he's doing.

And then, Casseiopeia says, No, actually, we know you, and we know you're horribly vindictive. And we're on your side--we're on the same side--our fight is your fight--and we love you. But your drive for revenge is seriously limiting your ability to imagine and create a living, just world, and that's what we're fighting for. Remember? That's what we set out to create.

And John's brain can't quite handle this; he can't imagine that they could actually see him and still be on his side. Because he couldn't see that and still be on his side. He can't forgive; he can't imagine forgiveness.

He can't see the things he's passed judgment on in himself and function.

And, by this stage, in some ways, it's already too late to change course. But this is one of several "come to Jesus" (no pun intended) moments where John could become aware of alternatives, or could change his behavior--and doesn't.

And I think this is where we get that self-awareness from, the thing that makes him creepy and tragic but also infuriating: He is aware, but apparently that's not enough to stop him from being his worst self--so is he just pretending to be moral? Capable of making different choices but choosing not to? And the weird statements he makes later:

This is, imo, not a power-hungry dictator who genuinely doesn't care about the cost of his throne, or a gleefully predatory abuser. This is a dude who's committed to a course of action and doesn't feel great about it. This is a guy who has violated his own sense of justice and has to live with it.

This is a guy who set out to save the world, killed it, and now the only thing that's left to him is to avenge it.

And like, from a mythology standpoint, that is exactly what the Erinyes are, like the Furies and Alecto. They are not the justice of Apollo or Athena. They are screaming for blood. They are hunting their quarry to the ends of the universe. They are chthonic.

Again: This isn't what Cassieopeia or Christabel said to him. This is what John has said to himself. This came from him. This is a reflection of what he believes.

And it encapsulates, exactly, why he erased their memories. Why he took away their agency.

The difference between him and many, many people is he had the power of a god and no one to check him when he was struggling with his own worst impulses. And then, he created a world where no one could, not just because then he could do what he wanted and pretend to be kind and loving and moral, but so that he would never have to lose the love of the people he needed.

Because, unfortunately, he still needed them.

It just took ten thousand years for the lie to unravel.

#the locked tomb #john gaius #tlt meta #i'm not a john gaius apologist. i just think about cognitive dissonance a lot #and frankly tumblr and twitter are the home of cognitive dissonance

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xxtha-blog · 2 years

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for anyone who read the big big post, here’s a summary of my points since it seemed people forgot them

Dreamtale’s theme is balance. This is present in both the comics AND outside the comics but when I say Dreamtale I mean the entire story, not just the comic. This means negativity and positivity can both cause or influence good and bad to happen, but they’re both necessary to exist. I’ve provided dozens of examples in my initial post, from Dream’s positivity hurting him, to Nightmare being having cruel elation to suffering, to the conflict being an injust persecution of a harmless negative entity, leading to one who harm everything. Here’s some more off the top of my head if you want a quick list:

The people who use their negativity in bad ways are killed (being mean to Nightmare is bad and causes very bad things to happen).

The person who wants to kill one emotion is the bad guy (having only one type of emotion bad).

The person trying to protect the emotions as a whole is Dream (both emotions good 👍👍👍).

Dream’s aura is bad for him and others despite it being injections of positivity into other people. (Literal aura of positivity being super harmful)

Nightmare laughs at suffering and enjoys harm (bad positivity)

Dream protects the apple out of fear of having good emotions disappear entirely (good fear) which saves the multiverse from losing the last apple

uncorrupted Nightmare feels safe with this new entity and is killed (bad positivity)

Dream feels bad for Nightmare so he helps him (helpful negativity).

Dream feels the pain of the villagers and tries to protect them (good negativity).

Dream’s new positive apple is confusing and painful (bad positivity)

Dream and Nightmare both suffering from the villagers (being a positive guardian not preventing bad or negativity the same as the negative guardian)

Dream’s never any more positive than Nightmare (despite being literally symbolic of positivity)

Dream loses everything when his brother is killed by corrupted (our hero is hurt by the loss of that negativity/other half for something genuinely cruel and evil)

Dream’s other new powers/role from the apple hurts him, such as empathy (bad positivity)

Dream’s life goes to hell once the tree is gone and he has the only positive apple left (too much of one type of emotion is not good!)

The point of Dream’s entire character!! (He’s supposed to represent positivity but he’s probably one of the most tragic, deeply hurt characters you’ll find, and it’s a point of his story that people misinterpret him as some universal good and never negative guy that hurts him even more. ‘He’s positivity, right? How could that be bad, it’s positivity!’ - Dream’s character is quite literally a challenge to this line of thinking)

Yes. There are plenty instances in the story where negativity is used badly and positivity is used for good. That’s the point. It’s not JUST negativity good, positivity bad, it’s a spectrum of both.

But, if you wanted a story where negativity is thematically evil and/or shouldn’t exist, and positivity thematically good, all those points up there, or at least the majority of them also shouldn’t exist, especially within those huge main conflicts and goals. I mean, heck, I barely scratched the surface of all of them. There’s so many more, I bet you could think of some yourself.

Dream should not be trying to save negativity if negativity is evil. Dream’s positivity should not hurt him is positivity is harmless and good. Uncorrupted should not be kind and gentle as a negative entity. The villagers should not cause the downfall of the literal multiverse if they were somehow in the right lmao. These are all examples of a spectrum, a wide array of responses to these emotions, that mirror real life. I hope someone going, ah but look, negativity was used evil here! Is not enough to make you forget every other point to the contrary. Sometimes negativity causes bad things to happen. Sometimes it’s helpful. Maybe even the majority of times it feels bad, as negativity tends to skew irl, but it’s never universally bad and never justification for its eradication entirely. That’s what Dream, our hero in the story, looks to prevent, and what the villain looks to cause. It’s a spectrum, a grey area. They both need to exist. That’s the theme of Dreamtale.

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mhsdatgo · 2 months

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i had an idea for a fic regarding the fallout of s1e07: “Driftmark” but it’s been long enough that i’m probably not gonna write it. so, here’s my thoughts regarding luke’s punishment: kill arrax.

that whole fight between the kids started over aemond’s successful claiming of vhagar. If aemond had to spend the first decade of his life without a dragon, then luke must spend the next decade of his own without one. arrax was still presumably a hatchling at that point, so have the dragon-keepers chain him up and shove him at the cannibal.

furthermore, banish luke from both KL and Dragonstone. he may not get to return home to rhaenyra, but you know what? he can be “imprisoned” (read: fostered) on Driftmark under the supervision of corlys and rhaenys, especially if the former is so insistent on keeping up the charade of luke being a Velaryon. whip his little ass into shape so he can be the next lord of the tides by the time he reaches the westerosi age of majority. It still keeps him the line of succession for however long, but also demonstrates to him (and everyone else) that he cannot put his hands on the son of the king without facing severe consequences for his actions. and if/when the dance kicks off, you know who won’t be at storm’s end to be vhagar’s lunch? little luke strong.

is it cruel? yeah, but anon wanted creativity so here it is.

Oh.

OH.

OH WOW.

I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT ONE. It sounds brutal and strict and righteous at the same time, like never actually getting to claim a dragon for the next ten years? Tragic. Karma. I'd eat that shit up.

Now that I think of it, it has its logic. If Aemond thinks that an eye was a fair exchange for a dragon (even if he said that to prevent Alicent from getting hurt, but oh well), then the opposite can work as well. You take an eye, a dragon is taken from you.

As for the imprisoned fostered part, I think training him would work as well but I'm not sure if it would be enough for the Velaryons to accept him as Lord of the Tides. He's a bastard, after all. It's what the Silent Five were mostly complaining about in the books, and I don't doubt that they'd do the same if they were in the series (which they aren't, at least now as we speak). Discipline the little shit? Of course. Making him rise to power? Would turn the Seven Kingdoms around like a sock, in a very bad way.

So far, it would be cruel, no doubt. But he'd come out a different man in the end. Maybe it'd be some kind of blessing in disguise.

Also please, if you're planning to keep on writing, then please PLEASE tag me when it's over. My good lord (neutral) we are starving. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

#hotd #house of the dragon #team green #lucerys velaryon #lucerys strong #aemond one eye #aemond targaryen #anon #anon ask

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jelepermets · 1 year

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Okay but one of the ways I think that the musical really misses the point in Les Mis is in making Fantine's death this very peaceful, angelic thing. Part of the tragedy of her death is how unexpected it was - that had Javert not showed up, maybe she would have survived. Valjean himself accuses Javert of killing her.

After all the Doctor says:

"If by some good fortune the mayor really should come back tomorrow with the child, who knows? Some crises are so strange. We've seen diseases instantly cured by great joy; I know very well that this is an organic disease, and far advanced, but it is all a mystery! Perhaps we will save her!"

And think about how Fantine died. There was nothing peaceful about it. Her last emotions were shock and fear, possibly betrayal. Shock at Valjean's true identity, at the violence with which Javert treats Valjean. Fear that she might be arrested again, that she'll never see her child again. Betrayal that Valjean lied about bringing Cosette back to see Fantine.

Not to mention the visceral way her death is described:

"Fantine sat upright, supporting herself on her rigid arms and hands; she looked at Jean Valjean, then at Javert, and then at the nun; she opened her mouth as if to speak; a guttural sound came from her throat, her teeth clamped shut, she stretched out her arms in anguish, convulsively spreading her fingers, and groping like someone drowning; then suddenly fell back against the pillow.

Her head struck the head of the bed and fell forward on her breast, the mouth gaping, the eyes open and glazed.

She was dead."

I understand why the musical wanted to give Fantine some happiness at the end of her short and tragic life. But I think that Hugo makes an incredibly powerful point by having Fantine's death be as cruel and preventable as her miserable life.

Often the poor do not get to go gentle into that good night. Their deaths are as violent as their lives. They are not even allowed to die peacefully. They are robbed even of that.

#les miserables #les mis letters #1.8.4 #fantine #bern speaks

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prosebushpatch · 5 days

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Okay so I recently, finally, watched Wish and I have some thoughts. Overall, not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, but still has a lot of fundamental story problems and I've got to get them off of my chest. I'll mostly be focused on Magnifico because I think his motivations and arc largely represent the problem with the overall theme.

Okay so my biggest problem with Magnifico is his motivation. His tragic backstory. How on earth does he go from losing his whole family to thinking, the only way he can prevent that from happening again is to grant wishes? The logic doesn't track. It almost makes sense in his creating a kingdom where he protects everyone and "doesn't even charge rent," but it does not make sense with his wish granting. Having a great need to be control to make sure he doesn't lose anyone ever again can be a compelling motivation for a villain, where we see lines crossed that don't justify the intent, but in the movie, he's too self-absorbed to seem to have any actual care for the people of Rosas.

I think if the motivation was changed to something like Magnifico had once been a bright-eyed, enthusiastic wish granter who blindly believed all wishes were good but learned the hard way that that wasn't true could have been a better fit for the overall goal of the movie. Imagine that he granted a wish for a wicked person who used that wish to hurt others, or if Magnifico granted a wish but that wish ended up ruining the person's life because what they wanted wasn't what they needed (i.e. Remember The Princess and the Frog? Dig a little deeper) and that person could have went after Magnifico and blamed him for their troubles (harkening back to We Don't Talk about Bruno). This would be an understandable tragic backstory for Magnifico, and better explain why he's so careful about the wishes he grants. And, perhaps the reason he keeps the wishes he doesn't want to grant is to keep the people in his kingdom docile. No one will be angry with him for not granting their wishes if he makes them forget them and lose that drive and motivation, which makes more sense than the unexplained hording them like he does in the movie? Why does he keep them in the movie other than admiring the wishes? It doesn't make sense to me.

This would give Asha more of a reason to oppose him, if it's shown how his desire to not get hurt or to inadvertently cause hurt turned into a paranoia where he drains people of wishes to fly or play music that inspires others. And, as a side note, we need to see more of how Rosas is a kingdom of people who lack drive and motivation, where only those younger than 18 have that special part of them that inspires them to chase after a dream (something that Astor Rhymemaster touched on). Because that's the point of wishes, right? That's the point of the entire Disney canon. A dream is a wish your heart makes. That star can only get you so far, it takes hard work and determination. It's wanting something better in life, it's dreaming of leaving behind all you know to chase after a tangible light. It's finding a new dream, it's finding a new wish as you grow and learn about yourself and the world.

I don't think the movie Wish understood what makes wishes so important in Disney stories. You know what wishes do? They ignite change. It's not about getting what you want, it's about finding the courage to chase after something better. Ariel wants to be where the people are, but really she wants to be somewhere where others are willing to understand her and in the end, she finds that and makes amends with her father, who finally is willing to see her for who she is. Rapunzel wants to see the lights, and that desire pushes her to leave a tower she's been trapped in her whole life, learning that the world is not as cruel and cold as her abusive mother told her. Cinderella wants to go to the ball, to dance with people who treat her as a person and not a servant of cinders and ash. That wish is granted by a fairy godmother and gives her a hope that is worth fighting for, a hope that helps her reclaim what is rightfully hers; a glass slipper that fits only her and the love that comes with it.

Wishes inspire change. The movie should have been about that. Magnifico could have been right, that some wishes inspire negative change that can drag down multiple people. The kingdom of Rosas could have been so placid because change is scary. Maybe Magnifico could have convinced people, after taking their wish, that it wasn't worth it. Maybe the wish ceremonies could have changed so it wasn't portrayed as some sort of lottery everyone looks forward to, but Magnifico would grant wishes on the spot if he decided they were good and worthwhile, and he would lock away the wishes that would cause trouble and tribulations. 18 year olds could be enthusiastic to give him their wishes, thinking they were surely good and worth granting, only to forget their wish and be told that their wish would have only brought about their unhappiness, this would have justified a more solemn tone in the kingdom, setting up a world where people are mostly downtrodden, thinking their wishes are bad and pointless and they're better off without them. Imagine Cinderella or Rapunzel being told their wishes weren't good, reinforcing all the things their abusive families tell them, taking away that hope and courage to find something better for themselves.

Here's where the true conflict could come in. Asha could be onto this from the beginning, and her opening song could have been about this concern that the people who didn't get their wishes granted aren't willing to try at all. (Because, after all, why doesn't Sabino play music at all? Having that taken from him would take so much joy and creative expression from his life!) But why does Asha know something is amiss?

Simon.

Imagine that Magnifico has a strict rule not to ever share your wish with another person because then it wouldn't come true. It makes sense with our own superstitions, and then makes it so that no one knows anyone else's wishes. Maybe your best friend changes so drastically after giving up their wish, but you believe, like everyone else, that their wish would have only caused suffering. What can you do about it? Well what if Simon told Asha about his wish? What if Asha knew his wish wasn't dangerous and couldn't imagine a way that it could go wrong? That would give her a reason to doubt Magnifico and put more emphasis on how Simon has lost his drive like all the other adults in the kingdom. And it can also emphasize in the end that sharing your wishes and dreams with others can be a powerful thing. Just the act of sharing your dreams can inspire others to go after their own, and they can give you the encouragement to chase your wish too. Wishes inspire change, love gives you the courage to make it happen.

Imagine if the star boy used to be a human, who wished to help others and lost his humanity to do it. Imagine his wish confirms Magnifico's belief, that wishes cause suffering because star boy lost his tether to earth and is separated from the people he loves. Imagine how he foils Asha who also wants to grant everyone's wishes. Imagine him ensuring she doesn't make the same mistake he did while she gives him a reason to change again, to anchor himself to humanity again because he loves her enough not to leave for forever.

Imagine the movie confirming that, yes, change is scary. Chasing your dreams won't always make things better. You might fail more than you succeed and some wishes cannot coincide with each other, leading to grief and strife. But some wishes are worth it. Sometimes, chasing after something better and failing is worth leaving a worse situation. Sometimes taking that chance is worth it, and, like in all fairy tales, if you are kind and generous and act with love, that will make all the difference in the end.

Also, I know everyone wished for a Magnifico and Amaya evil power couple, but imagine if Magnifico was truly in love with Amaya, as he is in the movie, but that love is eventually his undoing. Like Amaya leaps in front of Asha, and Magnifico stops or redirects his attack because she's the one thing he loves more than himself and that is the weakness that Asha and co can take advantage of. Imagine Amaya keeping Magnifico in the mirror and he gets to dote on her from his imprisonment for forever. I'm just saying. At least 30 sickos like me would be into that. Imagine the depth it would give to the themes of love and change and wishing and how acts of love make all the difference.

Alright, I'll get off my soap box. I just really wish Wish could have been stronger because these fairy tales Disney is famous for matter. They really do. But the movie feels too stale and shallow and too much of a cash grab that knows the outline of a disney musical, but is unable to understand the heart of why they work.

#rose and rambles #wish 2023 #disney #disney wish #if you read anything i post let it be this im shaking the bars of my cage #I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT FAIRY TALES AND DREAMS LET ME AT THE PEOPLE WHO MADE WISH SO SHALLOW #ILL MAKE THEM TEA AND GIVE THEM A GOOD SCOLDING #WHILE STEALING THEIR CLOTHES AND PUTTING ON A FAKE MUSTACHE TO TAKE OVER WHILE THEY'RE NIBBLING ON NICE COOKIES #THAT'S A TOTALLY NORMAL THING TO DO RIGHT #if you want to tell a good story you gotta tell it yourself <- my villain origin story #or at least my Sebastian kiss the girl moment. i can't believe they took out star boy. God forbid independent women have romantic interests #anyway im obsessed with how Magnifico always called Amaya “my love” and i think we can do beautiful and twisted things with that #Also i kind of hate the whole 'oh there's no saving him from this evil magic corruption' like le please that's the most stupid thing to eve #be in a fairy tale #just proves these people didn't actually read the snow queen #also also go watch Astor Rhymemaster she's a genius and explains songs IN SUCH AN IN DEPTH WAY #i haven't interacted with much other wish stuff so idk how others are rewriting it but this my ideal

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shoegazingmonad · 5 months

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Hate how so many Homestuck fans are unable to comprehend how tragic Ult Dirk is. At the end of Homestuck, in the credits, we get to see Dirk get his shit sorted out in the consort kingdom, him in a happy relationship with Jake and clearly content with how his life was going post-game. Finally getting to relax and settle down and work out everything with his friends and family and then BOOM nevermind fuck it. Shitpost metanarrative continuation just for fun. Except it's not fun because now he's been forcefully merged with all of the splinters he had worked so hard to accept weren't him. No longer physically able to differentiate their thoughts from his because he quite literally IS the sum of all of them, within one body. And THEN immediately after being told the universe that they'd spent their entire childhood waiting for is no longer a fully functional canonical timeline and becoming an egomaniacal douchebag, he's given narrator permissions and left to figure out whatever he thinks should be done about the whole universe-ending situation despite how mentally unfit he is for such a task.

And the part that really pains me when it comes to his new role as a villain is the fact that he, truly, was not given any other choice. The author needed a skilled antagonist who would wreck shit in an entertaining and cathartic way and he was simply the best pick there was. And so Dirk was shoved into a position so specifically cruel that it would've been obvious to anyone who knew him that there weren't any other options besides the antagonistic role so conveniently laid out before him. You can't just go up to a guy who has such a complex about his own individuality and existence and tell him that the universe is ending and everything leading up to this point will have been meaningless if nothing is done to prevent it, and THEN tell him that if he fuses with every other shitty him-adjacent dickhead he can gain story-altering abilities that could prevent the world ending scenario without him desperately taking that offer in a fit of existential fear. The narrative forced him into a position that would make him force himself to take up the specific role the narrative needed.

#The day the entire homestuck fandom realises Ult Dirk isn't just Dirk but EVIL but a miserable victim of the narrative like everyone else #is the day I can live peacefully #homestuck 2 #hs epilogues #ult dirk #ramblings #character meta

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sparklepirate · 11 months

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Alright, final thoughts on Brisingr.

You know what half the book was dwarven politics but I ate that shit up.

The more I read these again the more I appreciate the nuance of Eragon's character. It's super rare for me to like a main protagonist as much as I like him, but he has so many things going on. He's heroic, but in a deeply existentialist way, which leads him to be a bit cruel/callous towards his brother. He is smart and a quick learner, both academically and on his feet, but he does and thinks some of the stupidest things sometimes. He was forced to grow up so fast, so while he often comes across as mature and self-assured, internally he is still just a kid, or perhaps a very, very young man, and that kid part of him still shines through sometimes. He does and will do what he has to do to help the world, but he is constantly surprised to find new avenues of guilt when confronted with various consequences of his actions, but he still presses on. He is still learning his place in life not only as a dragon rider and a hero, but just as a person in general, and I think that's so cool and interesting to read! And he's also dealing with the trauma of the everything that's happening to him, but doesn't quite yet seem to realize that he isn't alone in his feelings. He is a dork, and I love him, and I want to be his friend, and I want him to accrue a whole squad of older sibling figures to help him through his stuff.

Along the lines of trauma, I hope he and Roran get to talk about this stuff. They both have moments of berating themselves over being weak for having strong feelings about killing and participating in a war, and I wish they would talk to each other and realize they were not alone. ... Murtagh too but that's just wishful thinking. I'll just have to write that myself I suppose.

Saphira is also so good queen of my heart and my soul she is beauty she is grace if she were a human she would rip apart a rat with her bare hands and teeth and do a kegstand immediately afterwards with the blood still dripping down her face but her makeup would be FLAWLESS while she did it ❤️

This felt like the first book that really drove the point home of how close the two of them are, because this is the first time they had to be truly separated from each other. Every time they reunited and they were just so filled with joy and love I just 🥺

As always- Murtagh deserves better!!! He and Thorn!!! He is in this position because he was too compassionate for Eragon (being led to the Varden), and then Thorn (swearing fealty to save him), and no one really cares about him but he still hopes and he still loves!!! Obviously, like, being on opposite sides of the conflict no one is going to not try to kill him, they kind of don't have a choice, but... Damn. I won't say too much more about him until after Inheritance but like. Damn. Justice for my husband.

On that note, the absolute betrayal he must have felt upon finding out that Oromis and Glaedr existed. Granted, by him becoming a dragon rider it was already too late for them to help him, but still. It's just kind of a tragic circumstance that everyone was so powerless in this situation, and like... Being literally possessed by Galbatorix for a bit there was. Hmm. Bad. I'm sure we'll be dissecting THAT in the new book.

It makes me wonder how much of this situation could have been prevented if the elves and the dwarves weren't so consistently self-serving. I think that's what makes Nasuada such an effective leader in comparison to them. She will get shit done, and she will set aside pride whenever she needs to to achieve the best results. Now, she has her flaws, which I know are explored more in Inheritance, but I can understand her constant frustration with the other kingdoms refusal to help or share important secrets that could have helped them sooner/prevented bloodshed.

And as far as secrets go... I don't know. It's hard to gauge "should have" or "shouldn't have" with most of the things Oromis and Glaedr neglected to tell Eragon and Saphira (or anyone), but the eldunarí feels like the most cut and dry. I guess they weren't anticipating Thron hatching but like. If that's the source of Galbatorix's power... It might have been useful for literally anyone to know about that before now. Arya didn't even know, for god's sake.

Speaking of Arya, I like her way way more this read through!!! And I do not ship her and Eragon literally at all sorry I'm a hater ❤️

RIP Oromis though sucks that you died.

Onto Inheritance!

#ashna reads the inheritance cycle #brisingr #inheritance cycle #eragon #murtagh morzansson #saphira

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the-everqueen · 19 days

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002 - Cocoluce

003 - Gault

002 send me a ship - CocoLuce when or if i started shipping it: last year, initially as a knee-jerk reaction to the way fandom kept characterizing Lucienne as either asexual or a frigid lesbian out of lazy misogynoir. (like, i think there COULD be a thoughtful take on Lucienne as ace--just like i think there's a reading where she's nonbinary or agender--but the fanon never provided any context for this headcanon, and it seemed to emerge as an excuse for why Lucienne and Dream couldn't be a major ship [or indeed, to have ever had any intimacy beyond "boss and employee"], or as a reason why Lucienne would only ever appear as a cheerleader for dreamling in fics.) it felt like another instance of (white) fandom's general attitude that Black female characters are somehow inherently undesirable (and not engaged as active, desiring subjects).

but that scene where the Corinthian reappears in the Dreaming and Lucienne is there waiting? Boyd and Viv play that as LOADED with interpersonal tension. like, his mouth is RIGHT THERE, practically brushing the shell of her ear, and she doesn't flinch or react beyond that long, simmering stare. the slow lowering of her eyelashes, the flick of her gaze up? and he turns his back to her! she watches him as he leaves! it's SUCH a vibe of fraught exes, and/or rivals for Dream's attention/affection. it's palpable chemistry.

and that's another thing i find isn't afforded to Black or Brown actresses: everyone talks about how much chemistry Tom Sturridge has with his costars, and no one talks about how his costars are ALSO responding to that in their acting choices (or...they do, when it's Ferdinand Kingsley or Holbrook, aka white dudes). (addendum: there's SOME mention of Melissanthi Mahut, because she's Dream's ex-wife, but uh. no mention of Deborah Oyelade? the lover Dream condemned to Hell? hm, i wonder why...) no one gives these women their due for the work they've put into the craft! instead it's either hypersexualization ("step on me, mommy") or dismissal.

anyways. once i get an idea it then becomes "okay so how does this work." what about the characters and their dynamic would make this happen/prevent this from happening? where are the points of friction?

my thoughts: so it's god's two favorites. it's the dark mirror of humanity and the archivist of all their dreams. the masterpiece and the librarian. OBVIOUSLY they've interacted. presumably Lucienne was already around when the first Corinthian was created. what does THAT look like? god's first and most precious raven, the only one who STAYED. god's finest work, most complex creation, the one who always hungered to leave. did the Corinthian comb through the library, when the dreams weren't enough to sate his taste for humanity? also what is the line between curiosity and hunger?

what makes me happy about them: two not-human (but human appearing) beings who've been around for centuries if not millennia, who absolutely know what makes the other tick and how to cut to the core. who have a certain level of affection for humanity. who are closer to Dream than most others, and afforded privileges due to that closeness. like, i'm not sure they ever loved each other, but they love Dream, and haven't you tried to get at the person you really wanted by getting close to someone they cared about? them finding use in each other - and isn't that a cruel sort of twist, being reduced to a function in one of the most intimate relations you could have?

what makes me sad about them: i mean. it's clearly tragic. it could never be inherently happy, so long as it hinges on the absence of Dream.

...gonna skip the two fanfic questions bc i just haven't seen enough fic with them. but! i do adore quiet in the library by ao3 user starkraving.

my kinks: the eternal cry with all bhol characters: put a leash on that man!

who i'd be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: i feel like my platform is "end racism in fandom spaces" and "polyamory." anyways CLEARLY they both actually love Dream.

my happily ever after for them: i do think there's a universe where lucienne/dream/corinthian as a poly V and occasional triad could be Good. maybe it's lucienne/danny/coco2. all that newness and grief. hey, isn't it a thing that people get horny at funerals? deleted Wake scene.

(from this ask list, in case anyone else wants to play)

#ask games #sandman #lucienne/corinthian #cocoluce #violetoftheendless

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rebelpapermaker · 2 months

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Got an opinion on a popular FNAF concept, and I'm gonna be kinda harsh but it's only because of my own feelings- if you like it you're valid and I got no problem with you!

Michael time-travel-fix-it fics are literally the one thing I can think of that is worse than anything that happened to him in canon. It makes me viscerally upset to consider that, regardless of if he can actually change the past.

1. He was a kid when everything happened, including killing his brother. Even if he has the experience of an adult, the idea that one child with the knowledge of what is going to happen could prevent it all is cruel and impossible. He wouldn't make the same mistakes, but there is no way to prevent every single thing, because it wasn't all caused by him. He can't convince anyone around him of what will happen.

2. As someone with childhood trauma, the idea of being transported back and forced to live through that time again while knowing what will happen is literal hell. I would eliminate myself before allowing that to happen, and my trauma is nowhere near the same level.

3. It invalidates all the effort he made to pay for his mistakes. Of course none of that makes what he did right- neither does going back in time to prevent it from ever happening. That's not how hurting people works. You still chose to do that at that point in time. There is no version of this where he can do enough to feel that he never made the original mistake, or that he can do enough to make up for it. Even if he prevents all the murders, there will always be something that was kind of shitty that he regrets not preventing. It's a never ending spiral, and it's why self forgiveness is important.

4. It is not on the children to prevent the atrocities that would happen. That's why Mike's story is so tragic. He blames himself, and to an extent it is his fault his brother died, but it's also the fault of the adults around who didn't intervene, most of all William. And then William goes on to murder more children, and he is a full grown adult who understood all the implications of his actions. Mike is a foil- he regrets his one big mistake, working constantly to try to make up for it- William regrets nothing, despite committing the same crime over and over again.

I definitely am biased because of my own experiences, which is all this is meant to be- just needed to get it off my chest.

#michael afton #fnaf #little scared to put this in the main tag lol #again no hate!!#just personally cant handle it at all

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drvirgus · 3 months

Text

The life you dreamed of

(Series)

Description: Y/n a K-pop Idol of the 5-Member Group Moonlight. But what happens when she falls in Love? How exactly is her life as an Idol and why did she become one?

Idol! Yeji X Idol! Reader

Warnings: Bullying and Suicide, curse words

Chapter 16:

Masterlist

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Noh Jeong-Yang: Do you not remember, or are you just pretending not to? Maybe the name Kim Wooyeon will jog your memory. Do you remember? You bullied her. Because of you... Because of you, she died! Want to know who I'm talking about? Then read until the end. It was June 2014. Kim Wooyeon had just entered middle school, and I can still vividly recall how she always laughed and smiled. But something was off. Again and again, she came to school with bruises, and her smile faded. She was being bullied. It wasn't uncommon for me to see Wooyeon searching for her clothes, books, shoes, or whatever else she had lost around the school. Eventually, I witnessed Wooyeon being beaten. She was blackmailed, beaten, and robbed. I genuinely tried to help her, to stand up against A. But A prevented that. I was never beaten or insulted by A, but A had chosen her victim, and that was Wooyeon. No one could help her. It went on like this for several months. Wooyeon became pale, and she could barely smile or cry. She took her own life. On December 31, 2014, Wooyeon jumped from the school roof. I wouldn't be shocked if A pushed her off.

kpofan: This is absolutely heart-wrenching. How can someone be so cruel to another human being, especially to the point where it leads to such a tragic outcome? My condolences to Kim Wooyeon's family. 😢 #StopBullying

Maria267: I can't believe this is happening in the K-pop world. Any guesses on which idol could be involved? I hope they face the consequences. 😢

I-mblind: I can't even begin to comprehend the pain and suffering that Kim Wooyeon must have endured. It's sickening that anyone could be so heartless to drive someone to such a desperate act. We need to stand up against bullying and create a safer environment for everyone. 💔

koreanzzz: Who could do something so awful to another person, let alone a young student like Kim Wooyeon? My heart breaks for her and her family. This is a stark reminder of the importance of kindness and empathy. #EndBullying

blackpink4life: OMG, this is so heartbreaking! Can't believe a K-pop idol could do something like this. Any guesses on who it might be? 💔

jinsArmy: Absolutely tragic. The K-pop world is supposed to be a family. Who do you think is the idol involved? I can't wrap my head around this. 😔

4thgenbch: Reading this article on a K-pop site is shocking. Who else is here trying to figure out who the idol might be? This is beyond sad. 😞

746: Speculation is running wild in the comments. Who could it be? The K-pop community needs answers. 😞

Noh Jeong-Yang: You want to know who it is? It's none other than Y/n L/n from Moonlight

moonlightlove: No way! Y/n from Moonlight? She's always seemed so sweet and kind. I can't believe she would be involved in something like this. 😱

Yunahims: I've always thought Y/n had a cold and distant vibe. Those who said she's sweet probably fell for her public image. This is really shocking. 😨

Jy-papi: I never trusted Y/n. Something about her always seemed off. Maybe this is the real her, and we've been fooled by her public image. 😕

4thgenbch: I never would have expected Y/n to be involved in something like this. She's always been so warm and approachable. Something doesn't add up. 🤔

kpofan: I never trusted Y/n. She gives off this vibe like she's not as nice as she appears on camera. It's disappointing, but not entirely unexpected. 🤷

Y/nnr1fan: I can't believe people are turning on Y/n. She's always been lovely in interviews and fan interactions. Maybe there's a misunderstanding or misinformation circulating. 🤨

mywaifuLia: Y/n always seemed a bit distant, to be honest. I wouldn't be shocked if there's some truth to these accusations. People can hide a lot behind a smile. 😔

Yeji'slover: Y/n having a 'resting bitch face' doesn't mean she's capable of something like this. Let's not jump to conclusions based on appearances. 😓

shipper_20: I refuse to believe Y/n would do something like this. She's always been gracious and kind to her fans. There has to be some mistake. 💔

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Smiling, I raised my hands. We had just returned from our fan meeting in Thailand. My hair was tied back in a ponytail, as usual. Like always, since we were at the airport, I was dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, while the others next to me looked quite chic.

Hanni beside me chuckled as she glanced at my outfit once again, "Is there going to be another article about Y/n's terrible airport clothing?" she asked loudly enough for all of us to hear. I chuckled in response, "Hey, it only looks terrible because you all look so darn fancy," I replied, earning agreement from Yunjin.

However, my eyes widened as I noticed the reporters trying to bypass the security fence to get closer to us. Until now, they had been peaceful, asking a few questions about the fan event and the flight, and inquiring about any upcoming comebacks. But now, they seemed more aggressive, their voices getting louder, prompting the bodyguards to immediately take their positions.

"Y/n, have you ever bullied someone?"

"In middle school, did you hit anyone, Y/n?"

"Have you ever blackmailed others?"

"What do you have to say to the victim's family?"

"Why did you do it?"

My forehead furrowed in confusion, my mouth slightly agape. Bullying? Me? I glanced briefly at my members, who were just as bewildered as I was. I quickly looked back at the reporters, my arms lowering.

"Do you know someone named Kim Wooyeon? And are you familiar with Noh Jeong-Yang?"

My breath caught at the mention of the names. My eyes widened as I looked at the reporter. I didn't move. I just continued to stare at the reporter who uttered those names. My heart raced dramatically, but soon I felt one of the bodyguards touch my shoulder, urging me to follow my members.

My head hung low. My head pounded.

How... did they know those names?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What was that?" Hanni asked, visibly confused as her eyes now landed on me. However, I said nothing. I just continued to stare at my hands, rubbing them against my pants over and over again. It felt like I was suffocating.

"Who are Kim Wooyeon and Noh Jeong-yang?" Yuna asked, looking around. My hands twitched slightly as I replayed that question over and over again in my mind. Haewon and Yunjin looked at me. Haewon's expression remained blank, and Yunjin just gazed at me with concern.

"As if Y/n could bully someone? Sure, she likes to tease her friends, but bullying?" Yuna scoffed incredulously. I still didn't say a word. I just continued to rub my hands against my pants. My eyes widened as I noticed blood on my hands.

I panicked, gasping for air. My mouth opened. The car we had been sitting in all this time came to a stop. I quickly opened the door. Without waiting for my members or paying attention to them, I headed towards our dorms. Since I had my own key, I rushed into my room, leaving the front door open for the others.

There, I immediately took off my jacket. I tossed it carelessly onto my bed and took deep breaths. My breathing became erratic, coming out in short bursts from my mouth and nose. Pressing my back against the wall, I slowly slid down. Tears welled up in my eyes. I... was suffocating...

"Y/n?" I heard a soft voice from my bedroom door. A gentle knock followed shortly after. But I didn't even look at the door. I was still trying to control my breathing. "I'm fine. Just tired... Goodnight, Yunjin," I replied as casually as possible. Fortunately, the door was locked.

"Are you sure?" I heard a soft voice against my door. This time, I gasped for air, "Yes. Yes, everything's fine. Don't worry," I said, pulling my legs close to my body, wrapping my arms around them as I disappeared into the darkness of my room.

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Flashback

"Y/n," I heard someone say joyfully and turned around. My eyes almost closed on their own, as it was early in the morning, and I had been playing games all night. I saw a black-haired girl coming towards me. She was so fast that she almost knocked me down.

Annoyed, I removed her hand from my shoulder and sighed. I looked at the equally-sized person, "Just chill," I said yawning, making the girl of the same age laugh. "Chill? I should chill? Come on! We're finally in middle school. Besides, I convinced my mom to audition for JYPE!" the black-haired girl exclaimed.

My eyebrows raised, "What? Really? Your mom finally allowed it?" I asked, now appearing much more awake. Excitedly, I jumped up and down, holding her hands as I grinned widely. I nodded my head, "Ji-Eun Unnie also said she supports me," I said, grinning.

Wooyeon laughed joyfully. She also started jumping up and down, "We'll be the best. Me as a K-pop idol, and you as an actress," the black-haired girl said happily, a wide grin on her lips. "Well... I would prefer if we both become idols," she said a bit quieter, her foot starting to sway sweetly back and forth.

I chuckled amusedly, "God, no. Have you seen the hate idols get? They can't even breathe without receiving hate. I can't deal with that," I replied, causing Wooyeon to dramatically roll her eyes. She grabbed my hand, "Oh, come on. Just imagine if we end up in the same group? You can sing too," Wooyeon said, pouting slightly.

But I shook my head again, even using my index finger for emphasis, "Over my dead body. Besides, it's always been my dream to become an actress," I replied, and Wooyeon gave in. She grinned widely again, "Doesn't matter. At least we're in the same entertainment company," the same-aged girl said confidently. I snorted amusedly.

Together, we finally made our way to school and to our class. Unfortunately, Wooyeon and I were in different classes, so I escorted her to hers first. "Will you come to me during the break, or should I come to you?" I asked with a small smile on my face. I heard several people greeting me, so I smiled back and said hello.

Wooyeon smirked. Even though I looked unsympathetic, most people seemed to like my honesty. Wooyeon had been most afraid of that. That I would be treated as an outsider in our new school. But thankfully, this was not the case.

"Loser. Move out of the way," I heard someone say behind me. I saw Wooyeon start to twitch. She immediately took a step aside. But I turned to the person. My eyes slightly narrowed. I hesitated for a moment, but I saw exactly three people behind me. "What happened to saying hello? Can I please pass? Or hey, you're in the way. I'd like to get by," I said.

The taller woman looked at me astonished. Her forehead furrowed as she stared at me, baffled, for a few seconds. After that, I felt Wooyeon grab my arm and pull me to the side. The unfamiliar woman snorted annoyed but simply went into the classroom. My head turned to Wooyeon. Her face almost completely pale.

"Are you crazy? That's Noh Jeong-Yang," Wooyeon said. My eyebrows raised slightly. My face was now even more confused as I simply tilted my head sideways. I heard the same-aged girl tremble a bit, "Yeah. Her father... He's the school principal," Wooyeon said slightly panicked. But I just chuckled, "I don't give a damn. Even if she were the principal herself. You don't talk to others like that. Especially not to strangers."

End of Flashback

#newjeans hanni #hanni pham #itzy x yn #itzy x reader #itzy yeji #yeji x reader #hwang yeji #haewon #shin yuna #huh yunjin

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heraldofcrow · 9 months

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What do you think of Laurence and Brador's bond? It is easy to assume proximity because there is a chance that Brador mercy-killed Laurence, but it also could've been one of the following cleric beasts or something? Like, do you think Brador and Laurence even met in person, were they close or just boss + servant, did they know each other for a long time and so on and so on... ?

Well, to answer this one, I have to first describe how I view these characters individually, because I can’t build relationships without first working with foundations.

—

So, I may one of the few in this corner of the fandom that doesn’t see Laurence as this unapologetic and unhinged, “Consequences? What consequences?” type guy that caused utter chaos while on the verge of several mental breakdowns if that makes sense, haha.

I like the interpretation because it’s actually fairly humorous and it can even be slightly more honest than what most would allow, but I still find myself leaning more towards the “fallen hero” take on Laurence.

Or at least, I don’t see him as having had utterly no remorse for his actions or any qualms about what he was planning to do. I think a lot of it bothered his conscience, but only because his overall intentions were good…er…respectable? He was maybe the type of fight for “the greater good” in his work.

However, I do think he became desperate towards the end of his life, and his pride prevented him from ever really admitting the obvious… which is that, yes, he absolutely ruined everything.

Confused bastard. The ultimate tragic example of, “what could have been.”

I imagine he wanted to make the world a better place as a youth, but was foolish and ended up miscalculating a lot of his decisions. Yes, he did have his remorseless, rather arrogant and cruel phase, which was when he was at his most dangerous. This was likely when he was at the height of his power.

Then, towards the end of his life he turned more overtly cynical and drunken with pessimism, fatalism, hopelessness, all that good stuff. No, I totally did not model his late life personality after Sydney Carton from “A Tale of Two Cities,” what are you talking about.

(Granted, one of the very first interpretations I ever saw of Laurence’s story was the illustrated lore version by Raquel Cornejo, so that’s likely why I stan “tragic Laurence.” His cut dialogue also brought out his humanity in slivers, and the inherent sadness of his musical theme amped up the implications for me as well.)

Now, on the other hand, I see Brador as the exact opposite of Laurence….initially, that is. I think Brador gave up on humanity as a youth and was more of the cynical, fatalistic type from the start. My version of Brador was essentially this disturbed criminal gang-leader in Yharnam’s slums for years before being recruited by the Healing Church under a pay-based contract.

He was their first criminal employee, and a sure-sign of their obvious corruption. At that point, Maria’s loyalty as the Clocktower guardian and keeper of the Church’s past secrets was wavering because of her mental health. Laurence needed someone more prepared to kill and butcher without question. That was Brador.

This would have been when Laurence was so desperate and paranoid that he was actually willing to hire assassins to prevent people from uncovering his sins. Yet that’s where I like to imagine the twisted pact between him and Brador was formed.

Brador, being the sick and hateful individual he was, began by wanting Laurence, the reputably holy and glorious vicar, to be brought down to his level. He relished in flaunting his position as a hired assassin and was fond of reminding the other Church staff that he was Laurence’s right hand man. He was the one Laurence would unleash on any of them if they even dared to speak against the Church.

In Brador’s contorted mind, this was justice for how he had grown up being treated like a dog for being from a foreign family and raised within a lower status in Yharnam. Oh how the mighty had fallen, and Brador was there to relish in their shame. Simply the title of “church assassin” thrilled him.

But then years passed. Laurence began to grow ill, and severely worn down with his guilt. He had no one in the world to confide in besides Brador, who he knew could not judge him. Brador had always been comfortable reveling in sin and debauchery. He was no stranger to its horrors. Laurence could confess everything to the man he had hired to bury his transgressions like a wrongdoer to a priest. He was dying and had nothing to lose by that point.

Brador was the one to see Laurence at his lowest, most vulnerable state, and then something in him snapped. It was the first time in his life that one of the “elite” truly broke down and laid aside their pride before him. He was, dare I say, moved? It was a moment of understanding the foolishness of humanity, and how ultimately nobody was truly faultless.

Oh, then the dreaded attachment began to form, and Brador found himself actually caring about Laurence. Gasp.

It was too little too late. After years of using his position to torment the Vicar and only carry out his duty as some inverted form of equity, Brador found himself not wanting Laurence to actually…give in?

But this man could never confess such a thing. He was an assassin, a criminal. His ability to truly express care for another person had been lost long ago. All he had was violence.

So, that’s when he offered Laurence one final deal. He would stay with the Church, protecting their secrets until the end of his life, warding away any and all intruders faithfully.

But he had to be the one to kill Laurence when the latter inevitably turned.

It was the notion of “If you want my undying loyalty (and since you somehow gained my attachment), then I want your life.”

To Brador, that was fair. His decision to keep Laurence’s wishes in a genuine manner demanded a sacrifice. Laurence would not die a hero, he would not be put out of his misery before beasthood, but he would die in agony.

So, when Laurence transformed, Brador burnt him down with Molotovs and finished him off with the Bloodletter, delivering his head to the Cathedral, but wearing his scalp as a seal of their agreement. He could not deny that the process secretly grieved him deeply.

Brador sealed himself away in the cells, away from everyone that would come after him, with his bell, and only reared his head when anyone got a little too curious about the Church and particularly Laurence’s past.

His bond with Laurence was a malformed, ill-bred thing, wreathed in violence and hate, but it was undeniably strong. It was a glint of human connection amidst a long-term conflict.

Or at least, that’s how I see it. Brador brought out the beast in Laurence and Laurence brought out the humanity in Brador. Tragic innit.

—

(HERE IT IS FINALLY, SORRY FOR THE WAIT XD)

#sjnjksbhsj #that took me way too long tbh #but there you go girl #the shorter answer would have been “it’s complicated”#i just like the idea of brador demanding laurence’s life in exchange for his loyalty and even his friendship/care #because to brador that shit always had a cost #it’s absolutely deranged and it suits him #brador church assassin #laurence the first vicar #bloodborne #asks #mutuals

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sepublic · 2 years

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It’s so tragic that if the Collector had met Philip when he was a child, they likely would’ve hit it off; Maybe not immediately, but. They’re both just little, chaotic, selfish kids who like to cause a lot of destruction. They’re both so incredibly lonely and clingy, and it hurts that circumstance prevented what could’ve been such a fun friendship. It’s one of those examples where you wonder if in another life, you and this other person might’ve been friends...

And it’s sadder still that Philip never stopped to appreciate nor consider this fact as an adult, because by that point he was too indoctrinated into his hatred of witches, too set in his denial and coping beliefs of the Demon Realm being pure evil, in order to justify and live with what happened. Philip would hate to admit it, but he and the Collector really are the same; And there’s something karmic about Belos being at the receiving end of an unwanted comparison, after inflicting it upon Luz. Whilst the Collector’s sense of betrayal could’ve been heightened by an implicit recognition of their kinship.

I just think a LOT of damage could’ve been avoided. Or at least that Philip would’ve grown to be far less cruel and destructive if he’d hung out with the Collector in their shadow form. He had exactly what he really wanted and was looking for and rejected it; Eda did tell Luz that you have to make the choice to create your dreams and take that opportunity. And as Luz’s foil, Belos very much failed to.

It’s just such a fascinating duality and I wonder if Philip ever realized he actually kind of enjoyed this kid’s games; Only to deny it, of course. And/or maybe he projected his own self-loathing onto the Collector. Maybe kid Philip and the Collector would hate each other because they’re so alike. It really is such a waste, like Philip’s entire centuries-long life to be honest; And that’s tragic in and of itself. He could’ve been better like Caleb, he just... wasn’t.

I’m just saying, an AU where kid Philip follows Caleb into the Demon Realm the first time the latter enters, meets the Collector, and becomes friends with him; That could’ve averted SO much disaster and it really goes to demonstrate this show’s theme of loneliness and how crippling and isolating, how damaging it can be. Everyone deserves a friend or companion in life, to find others like them; Nobody deserves to be alone.

It’s such a metal trope; We could and should be the closest of friends, but circumstances make us bitter enemies instead somehow. They could’ve been happy and content. It’s like a weird inverse to how different Willow and Hunter’s dynamic could’ve been had they met in Season 1, for example.

#the owl house #emperor belos #philip wittebane #the owl house collector #parallels #meta

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bestworstcase · 1 year

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Something about the Penny discourse and whether she'd come back or not and whether it'd be an affront to the themes of the series if she didn't makes me think that part of the issue is that people treat the themes in a very black and white viewpoint.

If the Gods are wrong, then everything must be utopian and Penny MUST come back permanently.

If Penny doesn't come back, then the Gods are right and RWBY is ruined and going against it's themes.

Except, RWBY's themes have NEVER been that black and white, because a recurring theme I've noticed is that making the world a better is not mutually exclusive from the fact that the world can sometimes just suck and bad stuff will still happen anyways for reasons outside of one's control.

And the reality is that the antagonists and villains fit into this as well, because a recurring element is that many of them are PARTIALLY correct. Not completely right, or totally wrong, but PARTIALLY correct or wrong.

The Gods are correct that Salem should learn to accept that Ozma was dead, but the problem is that they use it as a means to enforce their control over humanity for their own egotistical indulgences, and are shown to be willing to abuse that power when they are slighted.

Adam and Sienna were correct that the Faunus are in a bad position and deserve better, but the former twisted the ideology into a means to satiate his own ego and bloodlust.

Ironwood was correct that Ozpin was hiding the full truth and preventing his allies from being able to properly fight against Salem, but he was looking at things from the perspective of an arrogant fascist egomaniac who viewed himself as being the only one who could be the hero, despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary.

Jacques was correct that Ironwood was becoming a tyrant, but he was only doing so out of his own self-centered greed.

And so on and so on.

The ultimate point I get from the series is that defying the odds and making the world better doesn't suddenly make the villains and cynics completely wrong; it's just that we shouldn't allow the cynics and villains to be the one who get to define what is right and wrong, and that our efforts to improve and progress the world are not rendered in vain just because misery and pain still happens regardless of what we want to occur otherwise.

And frankly, I'd argue that Penny ALREADY proved the Gods wrong.

She came back from death TWICE. That is HUGE. That is OPEN DEFIANCE of the Gods' bullshit.

It's just that reality is still reality. She made a poor decision in coming back to fight with her friends despite barely recovering from her ordeal with the virus, and it doomed her.

But she still DID defy her fate, and that's not irrelevant just because she ultimately died in the end. Her existence, as tragic as the ending may be, proved that the Gods were full of shit, and that the Gods shouldn't be allowed to dictate terms for what THEY think Life and Death is.

The big problem I think is that people fundamentally refuse to value anything that isn't an absolute victory or an absolute loss. Even when they want a gray situation, they still subconsciously stick it into purely black and white frameworks in order to keep things comfortable and straightforward.

mm. the argument that penny coming back again is a necessary refutation of the gods [and sometimes of salem, a line of reasoning that i find baldly absurd] is interesting to me for how it demands the presupposition that death itself is evil; that the gods are wrong for having created a world where things are mortal. and that’s a critical misreading of rwby’s core thesis. death is simply… an ending, and life goes on; grief is a kind of love and can bring comfort and strength as well as sorrow. immortality is explicitly a curse, explicitly a means of torture—the gods are not cruel because they allow death to exist but because they murder people and withhold death to punish salem. it is their deliberate, malicious violations of the natural cycle of life and death that makes them evil.

this is not a story where bringing someone back from the dead is necessarily a good thing. nor is it a story where the desire to do so is bad, or deserving of punishment. it’s a story about grief and the obligation of compassion for grief. to say a character must be brought back from the dead to prove the gods wrong [or to spite salem, christ alive] is to miss the point.

the story structures major character deaths as classical tragedies for a reason. and then people go “well they can’t let penny stay dead after everyone tried so hard to save her, that’s just sad” like the entire point of classical tragedy isn’t to say “in the end, they fell, but they still tried, and it matters that they tried, and it matters that they were here.” it’s like going to a musical and complaining when the characters sing gjshdjbk

more.. generally yeah the fandom has a dreadful habit of trying to apply the moral logic of fairytales to a story that is overtly critiquing the moral logic of fairytales, and similarly of presuming that moral correctness innately correlates to ideological correctness in a story that explicitly handles morality and ideology as discrete and often contradictory beliefs, and being completely unable to parse what rwby is doing with its villains as a consequence.

#but yeah transhumanist readings of rwby are HYSTERICAL

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