#it's quite an interesting contrast in what it brings to these stories and characters and i feel very lucky to be able to read all of them
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I think what I love the most about AA is that characters have a duality to them that I don't see often in media. They have actual flaws and do actual bad things, and it's not glossed over.
Phoenix is a fundamentally good person, he helps people at the drop of a hat, risks his life for them. Has a penchant for taking strays under his wing. He believes in people... but also not really. He carries a literal lie detector with him at all times, and only employs people who can also peer into other people's hearts. So is he really that trusting? Sure he trusts his clients are innocent, but he doesn't trust they will tell him the truth at all (there's always something to lie about). He believes himself naive, and that's why he works extra hard not to be. Some people think he changed with his disbarment but I feel like when he actually changed was after Dahlia. He became less and less trusting as time went on.
And Phoenix actually does forge evidence and risks his subordinate's career, and he says pretty nasty things sometimes (that one time to Edgeworth had got to hurt, badly, especially if you consider that the note could have been genuine at first, which we don't know for sure), has a pretty tactless and somewhat hurtful sense of humor, brings his daughter to cheat at poker, and doesn't tell said daughter she actually has some family left alive.
He's secretive, elusive and cryptic, and masks it under a false pretence of goofiness.
Miles is, by contrast, very easy to read. He may appear emotionally stunted but is one of the more emphathetic characters. He realizes when he's wrong and immediately needs to correct those wrongs. He grows uneasy and uncertain and eventually recognizes when he's mistaken. By the end of it he begins to help people naturally, without even thinking about it as much as he would have in the past. He helps so many people, he has basically got Phoenix's savior complex 2.0 but the healthy kind where he doesn't jump off a bridge.
But... he was also actually cruel, and did send innocent people to their graves (was he really so naive to believe whichever defendant came his way was guilty?). He feigned his death disregarding other people's feelings, and while you could say he had no obligation towards Phoenix (apart from basic decency and respect towards someone who had turned his life around to save him), he still abandoned Franziska, who was still just a kid and had just discovered her father was a psychopath. She probably thought, at some point, that the apple didn't fall that far from the tree. That's it's somehow her fault as well.
He may be rude and antagonistic, frank to a fault. Isn't afraid of telling stuff to your face. But he also cares about the people he loves so much, to the point he doesn't hesitate to risk his career and break the law multiple times. He may appear a pessimist but he's pretty idealistic at heart, it's quite funny that his favourite show is about an hero of justice, isn't it?
Godot is... well, we don't know much about it from before his coma, but he definitely shared Mia's sentiments for helping people in their hour of need. But when he wakes from a 6-year coma he's so broken that he just pins the blame on the most absurd person to blame it on, settles on a complicated plan, and also prosecutes on that particular murder he should just confess upon.
Iris was sweet, innocent, self-sacrificing. She knew absolutely nothing about the world apart from what Bikini or her sister told her. She was naive and falsely thought she could fix everything, that her sister was salvageable, that she could save Phoenix.
But she still ended up lying to the person she loved and abetting a murder.
That's why I love these characters so much. They're interesting and their stories make sense. People don't remain unchanged from what happens to them. People are multi-faceted and complex. You can't sum them up in a bunch of characteristics and aspect them to act on every single one of them, always, consistently. Sometimes people break. They make mistakes they regret, ...and some they don't.
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It sounds so self-obvious when you say it aloud, but the key to writing romance is that the characters need to be into each other.
I've seen so many so-called "romances" in mainstream movies and shows that somehow fail to achieve this very simple principle. Usually they're het romances but not always. I've also seen established lgbt+ couples who we're told are married but who never show any particular interest in one another to confirm this supposed love in a show-don't-tell manner.
Below the cut I want to explore how to write love (romantic or otherwise), what makes it work in fiction, and the important difference between why characters fall in love vs. why they choose to pursue or stay with the person they fell in love with, because those distinctions matter.
Let's quickly touch on failed fictional relationships before moving onto functioning ones. Because the thing is, it's important to flesh out relationships and romances if they are written into the story even if they aren't the focus of the story or they are doomed to fail as part of the plot.
I see it a lot of times in fictional relationships that are clearly plot points and so the author doesn't bother to invest in them. If a relationship is established with the protagonist just because this current partner is going to break up with them, thus launching our actual romance plot, then there's a temptation not to fully flesh out that doomed-to-fail relationship.
But to skate over the failed relationship is a missed opportunity for a writer. Relationships reveal a great deal about us, as do failed ones. Even if the relationships don't work out, we get the chance to learn what the protagonist is looking for in a relationship, what didn't work in the failed one, and we get to learn more about their love language. This also requires that we see these romantic partners are into each other, or were into each other, and how, before it went sour. Even if it's one sided and doomed to fail, we need to see what the infatuated side of the pairing was into about the other person. Even if it's just physical, that too is revealing.
Romeo was in love with Rosaline before he fell in love with Juliet. But we don't skate over what he loved about her. We learn that Romeo frequently falls in love, he's often impetuous in love (which we will see carried forward later in the famous balcony scene with Juliet). We learn that he is poetic about that love. We learn how much he loved Rosaline, and whether or not we believe he was in love or think that love is wise, it is important for establishing later, when he meets Juliet, the order of magnitude difference between his love of Rosaline and of Juliet. One left him broken-hearted when he lost her, but he quickly recovered. But Juliet? He was willing to die for love of her. The love of Rosaline set up the contrast in how Romeo loves that would be massively important to the impact of the story later.
I bring up this example because many years ago in a high school lit class, the teacher said that Shakespeare never explains why characters fall in love, and so writers don't have to explain why characters fall in love.
It didn't quite sit with me right, because I think it's only half true. The full maxim, and what writers today can learn with regards to romance is:
You don't have to explain why characters fall in love. You do have to explain why they stay together and/or pursue that love.
Actually, it's often better to not explain why a character fell in love. It's ineffable. It just happens. How often have we met or been introduced to someone who is, on paper, perfect for us with similar interests and compatible families or lifestyles, only to not feel any sort of spark? How many grand romances, in contrast, are about people who on paper are terrible for each other but just can't seem to quit one another and keep being drawn back together?
This doesn't just have to apply to romantic love, by the way. How many people are inevitably drawn back to toxic or abusive parents, even though they know this person has a negative impact on their life? How many people stick it out for friendships that damage their health and self-esteem, all out of love?
Again, you don't need to explain why someone loves, but you do need to explain why they pursue it or stick with it. The reasons can be societal, they can be because of guilt, they can be because of adrenaline, or because of long history together, or if it's a successful romance, it can be because they don't just love each other, they also really really like each other!
Now, this might seem somewhat inherently self-contradictory. I'm saying you have to show that people are into each other but that you don't have to explain why they fell in love??
But showing that people are into each other is actually about why they pursue it and stay with the person. The falling in love itself is simply the gravity between them, the magnetic bond, what draws them together. In fiction, we want that to be powerful, overwhelming, inevitable. If the story is about love, we need to see why these people can't walk away, or can't walk away for long, or are miserable when they do. They are drawn to each other, powerfully, destructively or gloriously.
But you can be drawn to someone without having a single conversation or knowing anything about them. We initially fall in love with our image of a person, what they mean to us, what we think they will be in our lives. Real love is about learning who the real person is and continuing to love and to like that person. Real long-term love is loving that person even when they change from the one you first met, and they love you too as you change. But the opposite of love is not hate, it's apathy. The love is the pull.
Why characters are into each other, or why they like each other, is the force that makes them continue to pursue that person. The love itself can be the thing they're into, by the way! "I can't get this person out of my head, I can't put it in words, but they haunt me and I'm into them for that," is a totally valid way to build a romance or character relationship without any other things that they like about each other!
But as said, it can and probably should be more than that in a successful love story. The construction of the love and like of the relationship can also be Love + Long History + Physical Attraction + Deep Understanding. Gomez and Morticia Addams love each other, they'd love each other if the other was unconscious, they'd love each other to the grave and beyond. But they're also into the fact that they're both incredibly extra romantics who love demonstrating their fascination to each other, in ways presumably no other partner could keep up with. They waltz at odd hours, engage in thrilling sword fights, raise a family together based on their shared worldview, and stare deeply into each other's eyes at every opportunity. They don't suffer one another, they adore one another's presence and quirks and foibles. They are seriously whackadoodle into each other and we see it in the joy they take in one another, how much they like each other in addition to that love.
Characters who are in love should be obsessed with something about the person. Remember, these aren't real people, I'm not giving real world relationship advice. This is fiction. You can write a tepid relationship but it will be sort of boring to read. That might be the point! The tepid relationship might be in contrast to your protagonists, for example!
But my point is that in all fictional relationships there should be something in which the characters are each other's biggest fan. In mother/daughter familial love, they might love one another's outspokenness on what is important to them, we can see their eyes shine when the mother or her daughter gives that big important speech, filled with love and pride for them, and encouraging their outspokenness at every turn, inspired by it.
If the love is between two brothers, related or otherwise, we might see that love in darker times. A brother has to pick up the other from jail. It is painful, heartbreaking, but he can't turn away, he can't not do it. That's love. But, maybe the brother he picked up cracks a joke on the ride home, makes the other laugh despite himself, and suddenly, he remembers the good side of the love too, that his brother can always make him laugh. This is important because it shows us not just that these brothers love each other, but why they continue to interact with each other despite the pain and disappointment. That might actually be tragic rather than happy. One brother might not be able to escape because of the other's ability to make him laugh. That too is love, not just the magnetic attraction of it but the reason it continues to draw them together inevitably, that ability to understand one another and make the other laugh, when he really should probably walk away for his own sake.
The reason so much slash shipping exists in fanfiction is because very often, platonic love is fleshed out in the mainstream more often between two same-sex characters with greater depth than romantic love. A mainstream show might present us with a couple who we are told are attracted to each other and from there the writers assume that is enough to explain why they got together. Nothing deeper. No spark of liking one another in addition to wanting one another.
But in a buddy cop film, the buddy cops are usually obsessed with each other. They stand up for one another when the chips are down, they save one another in moments of peril, they look into each other's eyes and discuss what is important to them in life, like solving the mystery they're working on, and in doing so find understanding with one another's worldviews. That is infinitely more satisfying as a love story than simply telling me that a beautiful Barbie and Ken of main characters have slept with each other and therefore are dating and "in love".
Obsession is key. But don't get too bogged down in how the love exists. It exists because that's love. And we are fascinated in fiction by powerful love of all sorts. We love characters who don't just suffer each other but are into each other, ludicrously, obsessively, even tragically. Turn up the love to the whackadoodle maximum and break off the knob and I guarantee, you will at the very least have characters that people will watch with interest. We love characters who are obsessed with something, or someone. Their love reveals to us what is lovable about that character or thing, it makes us love them.
And then, because love alone is not always enough, show us the joy that keeps them coming back to each other. Show us some good times mixed in with the bad, tragic as they might be for how they prevent the cutting of ties that maybe should be severed. Show us why they can't give up and walk away. Show us too why they like each other. That is what draws a good love story together.
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Queer subtext in dead poets society
Formality sucks I'm never writing anything this formal for you lot again /nm. I had more points and then I got stressed out and upset and I didn't want this to become worse than I already think it is. There is no conclusion! Sorry! I will bring up my future points in future posts with a more rambly style because I am clearly not made to write stuff like this. I have tried my very best to do this as well as I can considering my current circumstances so I hope you all enjoy it!
The 1989 film “Dead Poets Society,” directed by Peter Weir and written by Tom Schulman, is a coming-of-age film that follows the stories of a group of boys at an American all-boys school in 1959. It explores themes of individualism, conformity, the pursuit of passion, and living a good life. Many fans believe “Dead Poets Society” has strong queer undertones and queer subtext, particularly following the two main characters (Todd Anderson and Neil Perry). I believe that the thought of queer subtext adds to the depth of the narrative and adds to the beauty of the story it is telling. In this essay I aim to dissect the queer undertones present throughout the story.
Narrative themes:
As previously stated, the themes explored within the film are individuality, conformity, the pursuit of passion and living a good life - Or rather “seizing the day” - but how do these themes link in with the idea of being queer?
The themes of individuality and conformity pose a significant contrast to one another. We see this juxtaposition several times throughout the film. Individuality is shown through the rebellion of the boys and Mr. Keating’s unorthodox ways of teaching, while the theme of conformity is shown through the presentation of the school and how the other teachers, as well as the parents, act. At the beginning of the film, we see the school’s four values, one of these being tradition. Some may argue that tradition is a confining value, preventing these boys from expressing themselves authentically. Mr Keating, on the other hand, is pushing them to have some degree of freedom and to accept who they really are. This could symbolise the conflict between heteronormativity and homosexuality.
Mr Keating is a key part in the breakdown of traditional values for his students. He is encouraging them to pursue their own interests. In Neil’s case, this is theatre. Mr Keating wants these boys to be individuals and to explore their own identity, ignoring the rules that are put in place for them. This is what queer people have been doing through history.
Filming and writing decisions:
We know that in this film everything is of importance. This is shown through the consistent foreshadowing (such as the shot of Neil as Mr Keating is explaining that everyone will die). So, if everything is of importance, why would a shot of Neil Perry staring at Todd in such awe be included? This film constantly shows through foreshadowing that everything is important, so to include such a shot for no reason would seem unusual. With the closeness and the longing looks shown between both Todd and Neil, it would seem there is something more than just a friendship between the two of them.
As well as this, the extremity of Todd’s reaction after Neil’s death is quite peculiar. Todd had the most intense reaction out of all the poets towards Neil’s death, despite having only known him for a couple months. This suggests that there was something much deeper in the boy's relationship than just friendship.
Cultural references:
Throughout this story, Walt Whitman is mentioned consistently, posing a significant purpose towards the story. Out of all the poets mentioned and referred to, he is the most often brought up. Whitman himself is notoriously known for writing homoerotic poetry. This could symbolise the queerness of characters within the film with lines such as “I’m being chased by Walt Whitman!” spoken by Neil, in direct reference to Todd.
I apologise greatly for not being able to do an amazing essay. There's lots going on for me at the minute so the stress and upset that it started to put me through was simply not worth it. I will continue to share my thoughts and ideas but good lord they will not be formal. This took a lot of my energy and I'd rather write in a more talkative tone, as I would normally! I hope you guys understand.
#dead poets society#dps#essay#essay writing#percy rambles#i really dont like this sigh#sorry guys#but! i tried! and thats what matters!#i will get better at writing essays!!! this is the second formal essay i have ever written! so its okay if its not my best!#THANK YOU TO OLLIE FOR HELPING ME OUT 🫶🫶#ILY 🫶
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excerpts for this interview about wang yibo and his character wei ruolai: Exclusive interview｜"Storm Chaser" director Yao Xiaofeng: Creating a period drama with a grainy and historical feel
The TV series "War of Faith" is on the air. This legendary story that cuts into the history of the Republic of China from a financial perspective has aroused the curiosity and follow-up of many viewers. It’s production level can also be regarded as the best work of 2024.
Director Yao Xiaofeng admits that he has always been interested in the history of the Republic of China. "This history is actually very heart-wrenching. During this history, the ups and downs of the country's destiny, what kind of experiences did the people who participated in it and those who followed the trend have? I find it particularly interesting.”
In addition to the visual presentation, the performances of many actors are also quite exciting. Yao Xiaofeng said confidently: "The actor in this drama will definitely be able to give one of the best performances in his career." He is a director who is very good at communicating with actors and bringing out their charm. Starring Wang Yibo is also in " Contributed a commendable performance in "War of Faith".
The first time he collaborated with Wang Yibo, Yao Xiaofeng recognized this "kid" very much. "I spent a lot of thought on Wang Yibo this time, and he was very involved and fully committed himself to me during the process. He also believed in me." He said, "There are no distracting thoughts in our cooperation. .”
The Paper: In the first episode, the male protagonist is dragged into the stock market by the landlady. On one side is the heroine's gunfire and on the other side is the male protagonist's stock market turmoil. This contrast is quite interesting.
Yao Xiaofeng: The male protagonist is an ordinary person. When an ordinary person is involved in chaos and bloodshed, he goes from being at a loss to being calm and making a choice. I think this is very interesting. An ordinary person's true reaction when faced with a world he cannot control may be the highlight of this drama. So for the first few scenes, I first created the atmosphere of his life and let the audience accept what kind of person he is. Talking about the relationship between an ordinary little person and the big era and the big world is my specialty.
The Paper: In previous interviews, I saw you expressing your appreciation for Wang Yibo. I would like to hear you talk about the cooperation process, including some observations of this young actor?
Yao Xiaofeng: When we met, I could feel Wang Yibo's sincerity, and I said I wanted to convey this sincerity to the audience. No matter what kind of scene you face, you don’t have to act, you just need to tell me your truest feelings on camera. The good thing about this kid is that he easily believed the scenarios I gave him.
I think this child is very good. He understands it very well. When he comes to the set, he is filming. He regards himself as an actor and leaves it completely to a director. As a director, I explained my ideas to him and let him develop them. I often say that actors and directors should trust and respect each other. From the moment we met, we only talked about the two creators’ understanding of the characters and the drama, so there were no distracting thoughts about our cooperation.
The actor in this drama will definitely give one of the best performances in his career. As a director, what I have to do is to amplify the charm of the actor and help him complete the role. I spent a lot of thought on Wang Yibo this time, and he was very involved, and he also trusted me in the process.
The Paper: How to build this trust?
Yao Xiaofeng: It’s equality. I don’t “pretend” to be a director, and he doesn’t “play” a star. We are just ordinary people. And then he was the younger guy and I was older than him and he certainly had a lot of respect for me. But at the beginning, when the two of us were not that familiar, I talked more about the script with him, without any pretensions to being a director, and communicated with him in a normal manner. After slowly breaking through the barriers between people little by little, the rest will not be a problem.
His smile was so lively that once I made him laugh. After laughing, I said you have such a cute smile, and we were both very happy. Later, he often smiled, and I think he probably smiled the most in my drama.
The Paper: The pavilion where the male protagonist lives on Qibao Street is also particularly rich in details.
Yao Xiaofeng: When Wei Ruo came to the room, I said it was not shabby enough. It was also a loft at the beginning. When the view of the loft was ready, I said as soon as I entered, you have no experience in living in a pavilion. It is too high, too big, and the room is not dilapidated enough. But the photography team is also worried that your space is too big. It’s hard to get small photography equipment in, so it’s not easy to take pictures. But when it comes to photography, I want it to be small and have enough space for people to hit their heads.
If the space is right, we will discuss every detail of the character's life, including what kind of lights to use at home, where to eat, and where to cook. The staff in the clothing team are relatively young now and have no idea about the "ragged" clothes of that era, so I asked them to make them as old and torn as possible.
When everything was ready, Wang Yibo put on a torn cotton-padded jacket, entered the pavilion where he would hit his head, and bent down. The small quilt on the bed could only cover his head but not his tail, so he could only shrink up. We filmed it in winter, and his most authentic reaction was aroused. By truly feeling in this real atmosphere and environment, you can bring the characters to life.
#wang yibo#wei ruolai#war of faith#accio victuuri translation#i’m glad he connected with yibo like that ☺️☺️☺️☺️
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I never really noticed this before (mostly because I haven’t rewatched this episode) but the color here is crazy.
Emilie (or Kagami representing Emilie) is in a blue room with Paris being orange. And Amelie (or Felix representing Amelie) is in an orange room and London is blue.
Now upon first glance, you feel more the temperature of the colors, and storytelling wise, the colors would seem to convey Emelie in a cold environment, despite marrying for love, and Amelie in a warm enviroment, despite knowing it was arranged and he was abusive. It’s poetically different. And slightly strange, as their environments tells us a different story.
But then I thought about it a different way. Emelie was an adventurer. She wanted to travel and see the WORLD. Amelie gave up everything for her FAMILY and being the heiress.
My eyes are quite quickly drawn to things in light contrasting the darker colder blue. Bringing things into focus. Emelies focus lies outside of her home at the WORLD, at Paris, the city of love. As if she still longs for adventure and is trapped inside. And Amelie’s focus lies inside with her FAMILY that she gives everything for, no matter how hard it is or what abuse she may have to face.
The windows have a story as well. As Emelies window is smaller and thinner, with less space between the bars. We know Adrien’s deepest fear is being contained and locked away. Maybe he shared that with his mother. But Amelie’s (like Adrien’s) window is big. Giving a sense of freedom. Perhaps, that freedom was allotted, or just an illusion for more control.
I think this can give interesting depth into these characters, and subsequently, the children they made. And why they made the discussions they did, such as Amelie’s devotion to her son despite not fully understanding. Or perhaps, some secrets of the Agreste household, where things never seem to be what you think.
#Emelie isn’t as great as we’ve been told to think she is#emelie agreste#amelie#adrien agreste#felix#wabbystuffpost#but that’s just a theory#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#miraculous theory#miraculous analysis#characterization through color#the picture was taken from another blog
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sorry that this is coming to your ask box out of nowhere i just have thoughts (spoilers for om s3/4 if people want to avoid them): i know a lot of people love the idea of simeon falling from grace and becoming a demon just like the bros did, but it's so much more interesting and meaningful to me that he becomes human instead. it's another layer of separation he has from the bros and it feels like a neat parallel/contrast to lilith's actions. yes both acted out of a desire to protect a human but no one went to war for simeon. he got punished alone and quietly and by the time other characters noticed they couldn't do anything about it. (pt 1/2)
Oh no anon how could you bring this to my attention I will never be the saaaaaame!! 😭
I have thought a lot about Simeon in general because his story is so much more complex than most of the other characters. And I swear on my life, this fandom sleeps on him, but he's so great in so many ways.
I was kind of annoyed about the whole human thing, I didn't want him to lose his angel status mostly because I was upset about WHY it was happening. Since what he did by taking the ring saved lives, I was just mad about him being punished at all.
I didn't even stop to consider how this would mean he could grow old with MC and now my heart is conflicted lol!
I made that whole post about Solomon being the one who could understand MC's aging in a way the others couldn't, but it hadn't even dawned on me that Simeon could possibly be aging right along with MC. Maybe his understanding of aging and such is different from Solomon's, since he was an angel and everything, but if he stays as a human, he and MC would in fact be growing old together. AND OH MY HEART SHE BREAKS.
It's bad enough that all the demons and immortal beings have to deal with MC getting old and dying, but now they have to watch that happen to Simeon too?? The potential. Imagine how Luke would feel, all grown up and watching his elderly parental figures fade away into death. l;jadsflkdsklf I can't deal with it.
And yes, I love your thoughts about Simeon vs Lilith, too. Simeon is always the one that seems to be left out, on the outside looking in, not part of the brothers, and as you said, no one going to war for him. Punished alone and suffering alone and keeping it to himself for nearly two whole seasons because he can't even accept it himself.
I don't want Simeon to become a demon. I think him being a human is painful and sad, but I think that if he became a demon, it would almost negate all the choices he so clearly made to stay in the Celestial Realm. I think that instead of joining the rebellion, Simeon saw that he was needed in the Celestial Realm as a dissenting voice. He could work quietly from within to perhaps mitigate some of the damage that world has done and caused. I always saw him as hiding his true self, even if deep down he still wanted to be seen as a good angel and maintain his position, he also knew he had to make the choices that felt right to him. Even if it meant going against what he was originally taught. And I think that now, in the OG season four, he's kind of lost that ability because he's not even allowed in the Celestial Realm anymore. He can't even fight from within now. And I think he's struggling with feeling even more outside, feeling like he's slipping away from everything he's ever known, but not quite fitting into the Devildom either.
Augh I could talk about Simeon all day. He's really one of the best characters.
Also, please feel free to bring anything to my ask box at any time, I am genuinely thrilled to receive all of your thoughts!
#anyway I have feelings about Simeon#maybe I should write a long fic about him next#oh but I was gonna do Solomon#I dunno we'll see lol#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me simeon#anon asks#misc answers#spoilers#obey me spoilers
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if you wouldn't mind sharing, what did schitt's creek do disappointingly in its story? thank you!
so, like. i mean, i think the show was flawed from the start -- i think a lot of the jokes rely on this image of the, like, small-town 'hick,' that in turn relies on a pretty hefty set of classist assumptions that i don't think dan levy was, you know, interested in interrogating in any serious way. i don't watch sitcoms for their revolutionary politics lol but there were certain moments in eg. roland and jocelyn's characterisation in particular that left an incredibly bad taste in my mouth. (ftr i think season 1 is pretty poor, 2-4 are genuinely good tv, 5 + 6 are a mess.)
but my specific frustration was -- so, at the end of season 4, we see moira despondent that the crows have eyes 2 was shelved; we also see the culmination of a season's worth of work having gone into the community production of cabaret. from here, the plot beats seemed so obvious to me that i was literally like certain i knew how moira's arc would end: clearly, this was an opportunity for her to realise that pursuing the sort of 'fame' she had before was a losing battle that was making her unhappy (and had always made her unhappy!), and that she could find genuine fulfilment through pursuing the kind of 'local,' small-town community opportunities that cabaret was supposed to represent. i mean obviously i have my various communist gripes with this position, but like, by the standards i hold sitcoms from nepo babies to, it's fair enough! it's a compelling enough response to the setup of the show -- the roses have lost everything and have to learn to live without everything. moira relied on a seemily fictitious narrative of public adoration; an insanely easy way to eke some character growth out of her would surely be to have her realise that small, local projects with her friends bring her a joy that public validation never could.
but, like. by the end of the show, moira gets back on the showbusiness ladder, to the point where her old show is rebooted. johnny gets a foot back in the business world. alexis is a businesswoman. david is a businessman! david chooses to stay in schitt's creek whilst the others leave for NY and cali, which is a compelling enough narrative choice on its own, but like -- come on, he opens a v bougie business and Gets Married and whatever the fuck else, it's boring, it's the same old narrative of assimilation into the bourgeois classes. it makes for a nice contrast against the end of season one but i don't believe he's a fundamentally changed person; he's just found a way to make his old tendencies make sense in a new setting.
there's a sense that the lives of the roses essentially reset; that they've been given the opportunity to return to their old lives, taking the 'lessons' they were able to learn from their time in schitt's creek with them. if anything's been "learnt" then it's these v individualist perspectives on, like, bootstraps and hard work; david and alexis have graduated from being nepo children into people with a legitimate intellectual claim to the bourgeois class. johnny has proven himself as a businessman. moira has uhhhh put on a production of cabaret, which justifies her going back to the old life that clearly made her miserable. like -- there's no sense that their old lives were bad, just a sense that they hadn't quite earnt the right to them yet. and in that, everyone in schitt's creek ends up ultimately reduced to a vehicle by which they can earn the right to their bourgeois status. it's a v nasty ethos, and as much as i find individual points of the show pretty funny (like, funnier than your average sitcom), i just -- like, it's so cruel at its centre?
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⋆⠀⠀&.⠀⠀٬⠀⠀❝ 1 : 37 AM : BROKEN SILENCE. ❞ ┉
i heard you on the phone last night. we live and die by pretty lies, you know it, we both know it. these silver bullet cigarettes, this burning house, there's nothing left.⠀–— from, “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart - Mark Ronson & Miley Cyrus”
&.⠀⠀CHARACTERS⠀⠀┉⠀⠀*⠀SOHN NARYUN, MELANIE BAE, MIN HERI, SOHN NARAE, JEONG KARIN, WILLIAM KIM.
&.⠀⠀WORD COUNT⠀⠀┉⠀⠀*⠀2.5K
&.⠀⠀WARNINGS⠀⠀┉⠀⠀*⠀car accident, blood, hospitalization, unhealthy dynamics.
&.⠀⠀NOTES⠀⠀┉⠀⠀*⠀a closer look at the heri-melanie dynamic. narae can be found at @viriditic! one of my favorite things i've written in a hot minute. this has been canon since like 2021 and it's finally leaving my brain. i'm getting "melanie, don't fuck with me" tatted as we speak, that's gold!
Naryun feels the spinning of her head before she hears the ringing in her ears.
The disorientation throws her for a loop as her conscious screams at her to get up. To do something. She figures something is all wrong when her body can’t seem to understand what her nerves are trying to say. They scream and scream at her legs to push themselves up from her spot; all crumpled on the hard, unforgiving ground. They cry and cry at her neck to swivel itself in a direction— any direction possible; it refuses.
Slowly, she begins to make sense of the chilled grass beneath her, starting to thaw from the heat she feels is escaping her at such a speed she thought was just an exaggeration the true crime stories used to describe the hopeless helplessness she feels at the very moment.
Her fingers dig into the ground, feeling the dirt blend into the carefully manicured prettiness of her nails. It’s an ugly contrast that barely manages to shock her as her eyes peel themselves open. Even if it had shocked her, she wasn’t sure her brain would have been able to process the emotion.
The stabbing tingle of her fingers pulls her hazy attention away from the ground and to the metal on her tongue. The tang of her blood trickles down her chin so slowly it nearly itches. Her eyes can barely bring themselves to fully adjust to the scene in front of her with all of the lights blinding her vision and that god-awful ringing in her ears.
The ringing was supposed to be the worst part.
The inability to process anything besides the dirt underneath her frigid body was supposed to be the worst part.
Instead, the worst part was that she couldn’t bring herself to want to fix it. As if the warming grass beneath her had consumed every fiber of her will, Naryun had no interest in fixing the disorientation or the frigidity. And she definitely had no interest in stopping the ringing that spun her mind and made her nerves scream in an endless loop that made her feel absolutely mad with suffering.
A scream finds a way to escape the confines of her hoarse throat. Slipping through the reddened glow of her whitened teeth and out of her body with such force it rips her voice away from her. The second scream comes as a lower groan and the third is lower still. It is the strength of her whispers that finally tear her will from her. The lights and the ringing begin to still before she can attempt to make sense of them. Stillness—and her sister comfort—embrace Naryun into a void that welcomes her so gently that she doesn’t even miss the ringing in her ears.
It must be hours later when Naryun is finally coaxed out of stillness and back into awareness. Her body shivers from the cold and her nose flares as it takes in the sterility of the hospital air. The mattress beneath her is just as cold as the grass she had last felt the ringing. The ringing itself is gone, though she now longs for its return instead of the screaming she can’t quite register from outside of the hospital room door. The inability to register the words thrown amid argument cannot hide the voices the words belong to— even in her state of slow consciousness.
With a groan, she reaches for the button she’s sure is not too far from her side. The buzz of the alert is fuzzy and barely recognized as she attempts to block out the insults spinning around her head. A young nurse rushes over to the newly alert idol, slowly taking in the sight of her hands covering her ears with her eyes gently adjusting to the fluorescent LED lights hanging overhead.
“Miss—”
“Please tell the divas with the dyed hair to shut the fuck up.”
She throws in a gentle smile to soften the harshness of her words, hoping the poor nurse wouldn’t take her irritation to heart. With a shallow bow, the blue-scrubbed woman carefully exits the room, Naryun almost laughs to herself when she sees Melanie’s head whip around. Her brown eyes make contact with Naryun’s darker ones, drawing a clear path from her place between the three bodies flanking both of her sides. Her shoulder nudges Heri’s whose features twist in concern before following Narae’s eyes to the group’s soft-spoken vocalist.
“Can you tell everyone that you’re perfectly fine?” Melanie’s words are as brash as expected. Naryun catches Karin’s labored exhale as she presses against her tanned temples.
“What- what are you talking about?” Naryun shallowly chokes out, coughing hoarsely before Will raises a bottle of water to her lips. It is at that moment that Naryun realizes her right hand is bandaged up, thumb set in its place, a stark contrast drawn between the forced restraints keeping her in place and the impatient pacing Melanie charts in front of Naryun’s hospital bed.
“Karin and I think that it would be best if you—and the rest of the group take a break from any public activities-” Will, the parent company’s PR representative is cut off by a bright-eyed Australian accent.
Melanie cuts into his words, inserting her thoughts into the conversation.
“Which is overkill because you’re fine, right?”
There’s a hidden force beneath Melanie’s words, one that Naryun is sure only she and Heri pick up on between the five people occupying the sterile room. Naryun’s eyebrows furrow as the boom of Melanie’s voice pounds against her temples. She’s much louder than Will is, more forceful, much less gentle.
“Melanie,” Karin speaks up with a warning. Her gentle stiffness contradicts Will’s all-around gentleness.
If she had even the slightest clue what Melanie was so worked up about Naryun might have even found the tension a bit humorous. But with Narae’s controlled anxiety and Heri’s flat-out anxiety, Naryun can’t help but find herself bothered by Melanie’s bluntness.
“I- I don’t..” She draws out, eyes closing as she grows frustrated with her brain which can’t seem to remember why she has a headache or why she’s in a garish white gown. Narae releases a controlled breath through her nose, taking a step towards Naryun the others in the room wouldn’t dare to.
“You were in an accident, bear.”
Bear. Her words are so gentle and so direct that it takes Naryun a moment to piece everything back together. Her twin sister’s hands softly tug at Naryun’s chestnut hair, eyes communicating much more than those nearly harmless five words.
“Car?” She whispers, unable to tear her eyes away from her sister’s. With a nod so quaint the other three miss it completely, Narae’s eyes lock onto Melanie’s figure, signaling all her sister needed to know at the moment.
Naryun swallows slowly bringing Will to draw closer, offering another needed sip of water. He begins to speak once more as he watches her drink from the bottle in his hand.
“We want to give you as much time as you need. I’ve spoken to the others, their priority is your recovery. Nothing happens without your word, Naryun.”
His calming tone does nothing to ease Naryun’s gradually quickening heart. Nothing could calm her heart when Melanie’s eyes blaze with a fierceness Naryun is much too familiar with.
Karin is the next to step forward. Motherly hands reach to envelop Naryun’s damaged ones in her own. “Take some time, go back home. We’ll circle back in a few months, okay?”
Naryun nods, incredulous as she takes in the two executives’ words while simultaneously trying to decipher Melanie’s stony expression as she leans against the frame of the door. A few moments of silence allow Naryun the clarity to finally voice her thoughts.
“What’s wrong with you?” Her two groupmates seem shocked by her lack of filter. The most conscious member pulled into a state of bluntness. A state that perfectly aligns with the bruising injuries that decorate her skin.
Melanie’s raised eyebrows illustrate her perplexion, releasing a much gentler, “Me?”, in response to Naryun’s frankness. Receiving a nod in confirmation, she sighs with her head hanging in what a stranger would view as shame. Naryun knows better than to believe the act so she waits in silence, eyes unbudging from Melanie’s figure.
She parts her lips to answer before quickly closing them. She repeats the action once more before finally pushing herself up to pace closer to the pale vocalist.
“Sunny-”
“Melanie, don’t fuck with me right now.”
Their eyes lock in a stare. Heri shifts uncomfortably in her spot. Karin’s hand reaches to massage her temples once more.
Melanie’s jaw clenches. “Naryun,” She tests out to begin. “You- I’ve been working really hard on my album, you know that better than anyone.” The switch in her word choice tells Naryun exactly where she was going.
Still, a little part of her wants to give her the benefit of the doubt, nodding twice to give her the okay to continue.
“If I wait on this, I risk missing my window-”
“Your window?” Narae scoffs. Will sighs. Karin remains silent.
Ignoring her completely Melanie continues. “A December release date. It’s perfect, you know that right?”
Naryun can’t help but blink up at the older girl. The silence in the room is thick, nearly strangling Melanie whose eyes have yet to let go of the fierceness Naryun despised. She struggles to find the words as her head continues to pound, louder than before, in response to the plea Melanie presents her with. Instead of responding, her head turns to face Heri whose eyes are fixated on the ground. Her bangs cover her face as she all but fades into the distant background of the tense conversation.
“Heri,” Naryun speaks up, grasping the attention of the younger girl.
“What do you think?”
Naryun feels her heartbreak at the vulnerability in Heri’s eyes. Her head shakes in a desperate plea to remain without a voice. This time it is Melanie who scoffs. Will sighs again. And Karin’s eyes roll so subtly that Naryun knows she’s hit a vein.
“I’m asking you what you think, Heri.” A little more forceful this time, Heri’s eyes close in discomfort as if wishing reality—or herself— to disappear.
She whispers lowly, “I can’t.”
Naryun’s eyes blaze as she whips her head towards Melanie. The blonde meets her eyes in challenge, a smirk reaching her own as her arms fold one over another.
“Heri.” Narae is the one to speak up this time. Melanie keeps staring at Naryun.
“It’s not fair!” She finally exclaims, cracking under the pressure of the three older idols. Her eyes continue to shy away from any eye contact, fixed to the floor as she hugs herself in self-comfort. Naryun holds her gaze on Melanie, urging the youngest girl to continue, “What’s not fair, Heri?”
Heri hesitates this time, chewing at her lip as it quivers in discomfort. Tears threaten to break at the surface before she finally finds the strength to look up from her found comfort on the floor. It’s at that moment that Melanie breaks the contest between Naryun and herself. Faux gentleness floods her eyes as the twins look on incredulously. Not yet understanding what was soon to occur, Narae turns to face Naryun whose jaw is set in a low anger.
“What’s not fair, Heri?” Melanie’s voice, echoing Naryun’s words, oozed with honeyed care. Her eyes warm with a comfort that only Heri can see. It’s that same comfort that finally draws the words out of Heri’s mouth.
“It’s not fair to Melanie.”
Karin and Will are shocked into silence as Narae struggles to contain her amazement. Naryun, who already knew what the girl’s next words would be, doesn’t react. Her breathing is even for the first time since she woke up, and her eyes stare straight ahead, through Karin and Will who struggle to believe Heri’s words.
Narae is the first to speak up.
“Is this a joke to you?”
Her voice cuts through the silence, aimed at Heri who refuses to look up at her, eyes back to their comfort spot on the floor.
“You cannot be serious.” Narae scoffs, turning to leave the room. Her footsteps are heavy as her cloud of disappointment follows her through the door of the hospital room.
“Melanie can have her album then. Since Heri thinks it’s unfair… Melanie can have her album. That’s fine.” Naryun’s words are curt, delivered with a level of restraint that manages to astonish even Melanie. Sensing the protests fighting to tumble from Will’s lips, Naryun eyes him with an air of decisiveness.
Karin, ever the businesswoman, clears her throat and turns to face Melanie.
“I’ll see that everything is finalized. I’m looking forward to hearing it.” Her lips purse in obvious disappointment as she carefully eyes Heri whose bowed head causes her hair to fall over her face once again. With a shake of her head, she exits the room.
Will, who says nothing, follows behind her, his phone pressed to his ear with seasoned speed.
Melanie reaches for Naryun’s hand, holding it so warmly that Naryun almost begins to understand Heri’s cowardice.
“I’ll be thinking about you the whole time. Thank you, hun.”
Her accent creeps into her pronunciation in a way that Naryun finds ironic considering her false sincerity. She glides out of the room with an ease that leaves Naryun numb with anger.
Heri turns to leave the room without a word of comfort. Head hanging low as she drags her feet across the gray vinyl flooring, following Melanie so predictably it finally draws a scoff out of Naryun. Stopping in her tracks, Heri looks up at the hospitalized vocalist. Naryun watches in distaste as a tear falls from Heri’s eyes leaving a wet path along her sunken cheeks.
“Do me a favor?” Heri speaks up cautiously.
Naryun doesn’t respond.
“Please don’t tell the others what I said.”
The edge of Naryun’s mouth twitches in response. Her nose flares as she tries, and fails, to contain herself.
“Do me a favor?” Naryun echoes her words.
She takes a deep breath as the pounding in her head finally clears and her voice returns to its full strength. A rush of will surges through her as she pushes herself up to her full height. Their eyes meet for the first time that day before Heri breaks the hold, another tear falling from her eyes.
“Let me know what her dick tastes like when she finally fucks you.”
Heri doesn’t respond.
# ⋆⠀⠀ʬ.ʬ.⠀⠀٬⠀⠀(⠀⠀&.⠀⠀)⠀...⠀TRANSCRIPT.#fictional idol company#fictional kpop idol#fictional kpop company#fictional kpop oc#fictional idol group#fictional idol community#fictional idol oc#fictional kpop community#fake kpop gg#fake kpop group#fake kpop girl group#fake kpop idol#fake idol group#fake oc#fake kpop oc#fake kpop addition#idolverse#idol au#idol kpop#idol oc#idol group#kpop#kpop idol#kpop au#kpopidol#kpop gg
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Hey! So we talked about Kuroko and Haizaki, and now I’m curious in your vision of other Kuroko interactions.
Not shipwise, since I know you only do kagakuro, but in terms of dynamics, what are your fav characters to write Kuroko with?
Lets say, top 3 GoM and top 3 non-Gom?
Oh my friend how you're letting me go nuts again.
May I suggest you get a cup of your favourite drink and maybe some snacks?
Also how do you expect me to choose...? Hmm okay, to make things slightly easier for myself I'll exclude Kagami of course since I've been talking about them a lot already and I also believe I've talked about Momoi at length at least twice in relation to Kuroko so I'll define GOM in the strictest sense for this, but I also won't count either of them as non-GOM haha. I hope that makes sense.
Okay, not surprisingly, I'm going to start with Aomine. I love writing him with Kuroko particularly because when he's at his worst they are absolute poison to each other and they don't really even know it for lot of the time or at least understand why, and that makes for peak relationships drama. (It's complex and I love it.) They have a particular way of feeding each other's weaknesses. When Aomine is stressed out, average Kuroko's communication style and philosophy actually makes him worse in the long run. Also Aomine at his worst makes Kuroko worse. This is because Kuroko's weaknesses at his most stressed resemble some of average Aomine's weaknesses (anxious, lonely and pessimistic) while average Kuroko's optimism and understanding actually give Aomine more room to spiral down because what he's subconsciously looking for is pushback and someone he can trust to practically force him to get it together and average Kuroko is always going to be too accepting for that. However. Here's the cool part. Aomine at his best has some of the strengths of average Kuroko (loyal, secure, taking care of others) which is why when he's getting better he's drawn to Kuroko's typical idealism and particularly when Kuroko is getting worse, Aomine actually steps up, and can empathise with Kuroko at his weakest because while it's a rock bottom for Kuroko it's all actually pretty mundane to Aomine and he can stay quite level-headed about it. Meanwhile Kuroko at his best can direct the same qualities productively as Aomine at his worst does destructively (confidence, independence, stubbornness), and that's why at his best Kuroko appears like he has got the answers Aomine has been looking for after all, because Aomine is actually looking for trust but he needs hard proof for it unlike Kuroko who at his average is just able to trust that things will turn out alright for no particular reason. This is in a nutshell why I love writing the larger scale of their dynamic. It just makes for such interesting plot twists.
Also it's so God damn funny sometimes. Like, I was writing a scene where Kuroko is pretty significantly sick and Aomine is pretty significantly enlightened and although it was a rather serious scene in my story, I just happened to come across a song from some musical that illustrates the inherent comedy of their practically reversed dynamic a 100%.
For contrast here's bit from Kuroko's POV when he had to take care of drunk Aomine:
I just find them hilarious to write and they bring me so much joy.
Then, I suppose the next one will have to be Kise. I just love how they poke at each other's insecurities and how incompatible their communication styles are. You're probably seeing a theme here? I just love it when characters' personalities collide in a way that causes a lot of friction and ultimately provides opportunities for growth, so long as both are eventually willing to go out of their comfort zone. Of course it's only so satisfying because there's so much they can help each other learn, which is true here as well. Kise and Kuroko can both be particularly annoying to each other, because Kise has this habit of putting the burden of interpretation of how serious he is on the other person and that really doesn't work with Kuroko so he's often particularly dismissive of Kise. And while Kise seems like he's bothered by it I think he actually finds it reassuring because it means that with Kuroko he can be as goofy, flirty, needy and attention-seeking as he pleases with zero consequences because Kuroko just deflects it. Obviously Kise actually doesn't want the kind of attention from his friends that he gets from elsewhere, so at his core he doesn't actually feel rejected by Kuroko, he feels quite secure. Meanwhile, I think Kuroko secretly likes the attention he's getting from Kise, because everyone needs some attention. Kise is getting too much so he finds Kuroko relaxing and Kuroko is getting too little so he finds Kise refreshing. And annoying. Because Kuroko actually craves direct and genuine interaction the most, and that's why Kise's way of avoiding it can get really tiresome for him, meanwhile Kise becomes instantly self-conscious and evasive when Kuroko attempts to get some unambiguously genuine expression of feelings out of him (unless they're on the basketball court of course where it's suddenly okay to let things go to your feels). So, as I want to develop their communication I end up writing stuff where Kuroko is quite fed up with their shallow interactions and attempts to get more under Kise's skin, which of course is way too much emotional work for Kise. But it slowly gets better, of course.
A lot of their interactions for me are also based on how Kuroko needs more of Kise's easy breezy "do things for the heck of it and don't think about the deeper meaning" attitude while Kise obviously needs the exact opposite and Kuroko is a great person to make him think about what things he's just doing because it's easy and provides instant gratification, and which things he would actually find meaningful in the long run. Kise has opportunities to make Kuroko less serious and Kuroko has opportunities to make Kise more so. I think Kuroko very much dislikes any shallow or vain feelings that he has and rejects them, but Kise can help him be more comfortable with that part of humanity, while Kise is scared of his deeper feelings, and Kuroko can help him with that instead. So both can find that the feelings they dislike in themselves or make them anxious still have their place and it's better to get acquainted with them.
It takes quite some time for them to get to a point they can understand this because it's obviously not fun trying to consciously work on your insecurities, but when they get there it's really satisfying.
Now I kind of feel like showing this development. So, here are three scene's from Kuroko's POV. Although two of them are with Kagami, but they are talking about Kise.
First one is a conversation on the phone.
About ten chapters later with Kise:
And then about 20 chapters later:
I just wanted to show you because writing this kind of development makes me so excited. (The sport they're talking about is quidditch/quadball.)
The third place is a really tough one because I enjoy writing Kuroko's interactions with every GOM and I think the reason I'm going to have to pick Midorima is actually not because I inherently prefer him, it's because his interactions with Kuroko naturally happen more because he lives closer than Akashi and Murasakibara. But this is how it is because the more I write interactions with characters the more I begin to like them. Kuroko and Midorima are a blast because of their completely opposing conceptualisations of the world. The funny thing is that they might not actually be as opposing as they seem, it's just that they are looking at the same thing from different angles and describing it in language that leads them to believe they disagree more than they do. Yes they also have completely different strategies to getting where they want but maybe it's not as stark as they sometimes seem to believe. This is where the most friction in their relationship comes from and I have done my absolute best to be fair about it, because I am so much more likely to see things in Kuroko's way and I despise horoscopes. So I think another reason I like to write these two so much is that it challenges my objectivity in a particular way.
Anyway, basically Midorima describes fate as something that is above humans while Kuroko basically says you can make your own fate, if you really simplify it.
But. I have these song lyrics in my mind...
"You can plan a pretty picnic, you can pick the perfect time, but you can't expect the weather to be fine".
That thought is still true for both of them. They would both agree to that from their different perspectives. So their views are not actually complete opposites. Just their reactions and how they deal with it, are.
As funny as it sounds, Midorima is actually uncomfortable with the 'supernatural' or abstract unseen realm of things, and that's why he's looking at sources outside of himself to control his thoughts about that which is uncertain. Meanwhile Kuroko can just casually be like "hey what if a meteorite hit the bench" and "cool let's go look for ghosts I've never actually seen one" because he doesn't fear the uncertainty. He is the uncertainty. For Midorima that is his pressure point. Kuroko gets strength from the thought that anything can happen because he feels familiar with and in control of the uncertain, so he believes he can work it to his advantage. For Midorima the idea that anything can happen is daunting because it feels like it pulls the rug from under him and his hard work. He just genuinely doesn't understand that realm of things, much like Kuroko just genuinely doesn't understand cold hard facts and numbers. And that's why they have trouble understanding each other, because they are always approaching things so differently even when they desire the same conclusion.
Anyway. I wanted to do something with Midorima that I felt canon didn't really do. I wanted his way of thinking to get Kuroko off guard and even question his view of reality a little. I wanted Midorima to be able to foresee something about Kuroko because of his strange relationship with fate and I wanted Kuroko to dismiss it because he thinks his way of thinking is above Midorima's. And ultimately Kuroko would be wrong. I thought this would bring more depth to their relationship.
I'm going to show you one key scene in that plot to illustrate some of the tensions in their interactions. This is Kuroko's POV and they are at Suutoku's cultural festival where Midorima is doing fortune-telling from tea leafs.
Alright, that's it for the GOM. I wonder if there's a limit with post length...
Then the others.
Well, there's Ogiwara. And he was not so discussed in depth in canon that I have definitely developed some of his personality on my own. He was obviously contrasted with Kagami and Aomine a lot and explicitly said to have some similarities but the way I see him, he is also similar to Momoi and Kiyoshi in a particular and pretty defining aspect, and that is that he can control the emotional atmosphere of the room. So, while Aomine and Kagami have a lot of physical presence, Ogiwara and these other two characters have a lot of social presence. But the way I see it Ogiwara is also the least manipulative of these examples, pretty chill in the way that he has less of an objective, like it's rarer for him to try to manipulate things to a particular end although he generally could if he wanted to. And I think that's because he mostly just wants everyone to be happy and to have a good time, which aligns well with Kuroko's instincts, so it's no wonder if their friendship was a pretty uncomplicated one before shit hit the fan.
There's actually very little conflict between them in canon that has anything to do with them as individuals. However that's also what makes the relationship kind of stagnant and less interesting because when there's no outside force, then there's nothing about them as people that makes them push each other enough to create the level of conflict and opportunity for growth as there is with some other characters. In some ways that's refreshing, but only as a breath of fresh air. Basically in a story it just makes for nice filler. There isn't enough meat to write for an extended period of time.
That's why, if I wanted to keep Ogiwara in the story in any meaningful way, I had to make something up, and I do enjoy what I came up with. A lot. One key aspect is miscommunication that is due to the fact that although Ogiwara is socially very smooth he doesn't quite understand that Kuroko is actually significantly less so, probably because Kuroko still has emotional intelligence and the ability to match a more a dominant personality (I mean this in a broad sense, not like dominating or something) in a way that makes interaction feel smooth, because the other person is the leading force whether they mean to be or not because Kuroko can pretty much just make it so. (Like in Kagami's case it's more like Kuroko is redirecting a lot of Kagami's emotions so he's not actually dominating it's more like he's Kuroko's 'material' unlike Ogiwara who actually means to lead the interaction.) So, Ogiwara has a habit of implying things, hinting at things, speaking with gestures and believing that Kuroko understands what he's saying, but actually the implications go completely over Kuroko's head. For example, their whole promise: Kuroko didn't understand that more than anything, for Ogiwara it was about staying in touch. Of course facing each other in a game was important and exciting in and of itself, but Kuroko took that way more literally than Ogiwara meant it, and became so single-minded about this one thing he thought his friend wanted from him, that he actually kind of forgot about talking, which led Ogiwara to misinterpreted it as Kuroko not missing their everyday interaction as much as he does. Because Ogiwara thought the implication of their promise was totally clear, while to Kuroko it wasn't. It takes kind of a lot to start seeing why things that are totally clear to one aren't so for another, so they repeat this miscommunication several times and it stretches out into the future so much that it turns out Kuroko's view of their childhood is in some significant ways different from Ogiwara's view of the same events.
Writing more of them together I also found that Ogiwara sees Kuroko in a quite different way from most people and can sometimes say stuff that other people probably wouldn't say:
I'm not saying he's right or wrong, and out of context it may seem like he's undermining the fact that Kuroko didn't have much options, but it's more complicated than that, just too much to explain here. I just put this here because it's interesting contrast to write someone with a little bit different perspective to some things, because his key points with Kuroko have been so different from that of the other characters in the canon timeline which Ogiwara was mostly absent for.
A character whose interactions with Kuroko I actually write way less than I would like is Furihata. Because they have similar temperaments in ways pretty much no other characters do, and I feel they would make the kind of friends who are perfect for peer support and venting to, if either of them could just be a little more proactive about it, but that's the difficulty with a similar temperament, isn't it? It's not just my fault, it's not just that the story is already so bloated from these other relationships, it's that both of them are also going to respect each other's space too much and are generally the type to just sort of let things in relationships develop in their own time. Obviously they both have a lot of drive to make things happen when they need to, but when they don't need to, they are both the type to be more likely to just sit back and watch things develop. So circumstances would need to force them closer to get closer. So far such circumstances happen here and there but not that much. Most often it's Furihata needing emotional support and Kuroko being there, because he has already gone through the same thing. This happens several times in my writing. It takes a while for things to turn the other way around because Furihata is more likely to seek comfort from someone, and Kuroko is more reserved in that way, but once Furihata grows aware of their similarities and differences he also makes more effort to make sure Kuroko knows he can be relied upon too, which fits quite well with Furihata's growth into a captain which is part of my headcanon too.
This is probably his sharpest moment so far, after Seirin's darkest moment in my story. (Kagami's POV)
Then there's Yagi who practically counts as an OC because I've invented like 90% of his personality but I love him so I'm going to talk about him. Yagi is sort of like if Aomine and Furihata fused in some ways. His insecurities come from lack of experience and skills but he reacts to them in a similar way as Aomine to his overwhelming skills, feeling like he's alone and no one can possibly help him. He's more even-tempered and timid, but his negativity comes through in a passive-agressive way and he basically needs someone to kick his butt at all times and he punishes people emotionally if they don't. You can imagine this creates some very intense conflict with Kuroko whose gentle approach to helping Yagi integrate into the team just... doesn't work AT ALL because he's an even harder person for Kuroko to be tough on than Aomine. Kuroko can kick butt when it's Kagami or another openly aggressive person as long as they are not being vulnerable. But Yagi is like... Nope. Nothing is getting through because he wants someone to boss him around but you're supposed to figure that out on your own and Kuroko wants someone who will tell him what they need from him. Match made in heaven right. Well, still it's not hopeless once Kuroko does figure out which string to pull (with the help of Aomine haha). But yeah, it's a minefield. (Not to mention Yagi also starts out as homophobic.) But they do develop when Kuroko realises that he needs something new to help him stay out of sight and Yagi is exactly that because he's radiating negative, passive energy as much as Kagami is radiating positive, active energy so when Kuroko uses both of them he has a double cover as the neutral point between these two energies. But what makes this difficult for Kuroko to figure out is that while Kuroko is technically using Kagami to hide himself he's not using Kagami in a sense that he would need to control him. Kagami is doing what Kagami wants, and Kuroko is using that which Kagami would be doing anyway. But Yagi isn't going to do anything unless someone makes him. It is when Kuroko realizes that Yagi is actually begging to be used, that the game changes. Despite of appearing otherwise Yagi has basically zero ego. He just wants to be useful but he wants other people to tell him how. (Akashi should have used someone like Yagi not Mayu lol.) This was difficult for Kuroko to get, because despite of being as team-oriented as he is, being a shadow was still always a sacrifice for him. Had he been able to he would have wanted to be more "normal". And he still does have enough ego to want to create something for himself and be in control even if it's in a less traditional more subtle way, and he mistakenly believed Yagi would want the same. But Yagi doesn't have that kind of desire. Kuroko is willing to sacrifice himself. Yagi enjoys it. Yagi is a "soldier". Well, in this case, Kuroko is the trickster and Yagi is the rabbit= the star of the magic show who isn't actually doing anything but who things are being done to.
Or...? (Kuroko's POV)
I just love to play with metaphors.
I don't have the best action writing skills to get the most exciting games out of this idea (and a lot of it is probably so out there that it wouldn't even work) but I am actually very proud of how it plays in the interpersonal and metaphorical realm of the story.
Okay. That's it for now. Looks like I didn't run out of space. I hope I managed to keep you interested.
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Hey there,
congrats on your 500 milestone. If I may put in a request, could you perhaps do: "Don't ever do that again! You have no idea what it does to me…" with Wrecker. Love seeing how writers tackle the big guy's main weakness.
Cheers,
Hi! Hello! Hey! Remember this request from like six frickin weeks ago?! ;) I got wildly derailed by Sharp Edges blossoming off of Lightwise's Crosshair request, but bada bing bada boom... I'm BACK baby! So thank you so much for your patience, and I hope this is everything you ever wanted it to be. It really made my heart swell while writing it. All the puppy dog eyes for our sweet big boy!
Wrecker x Reader
Word Count: 3.1k
You’d been serving at the cafe for years, having perfected your duties down to mindlessly rote repetition. The customers and cooks loved you equally, with your sugary-sweet disposition and affinity for lavishing anyone and everyone with affection that left them feeling as though they were floating on the clouds. You’d long since abandoned your hopes at romance, after a trail of failed relationships left you jaded and insecure, and had instead resorted to content yourself with a quiet life of work, reading, and occasional travel. The cafe was centrally located on a variety of trade routes that kept it bustling with interesting characters, bringing news and stories, often quite embellished, of the galaxy beyond the diner’s crumbling brick walls.
The bell on the door chimed cheerfully one morning, and as you looked up with a bright smile to greet the arrivals as usual, your eyes widened as you took in the hulking mass of a man that squeezed inside. You’d seen almost every shape and size of creature over the years, but his apparently human appearance was a stark contrast to his sheer brawn, made even more unique by his seeming lack of an eye and the spidery scar tissue that branched out from his ear across his face.
“Well hello, sugar,” you purred out of habit, sidling up to him with a coffee pot in your hand, “Haven’t seen you in here before.”
“Uh, yeah,” he said slowly, seeming to still be groggy from sleep as he ran a large hand over his bald head, “Just had a minute to grab something to eat…” His eyes roved across the setting before him: two long rows of cushy booths, ragged from the endless cycle of hungry patrons sliding in and out of them, and an endless supply of decor and memorabilia scattered across the walls and shelves -- photos, trinkets, signs, plants… He snapped out of his distracted gazing when you laid a gentle hand on his forearm, gesturing toward the counter.
“Why don’t you grab a seat up there and I’ll be right over?”
He grunted his thanks in a deep, throaty voice, shuffling to his assigned seat and completely dwarfing the stool as he settled down upon it. The menu looked like a business card in his hands as he perused it, and when you finished making the rounds of refilling thick ceramic coffee mugs, you slid the carafe back under the warmer and turned to face him.
“Anything strike your fancy, big boy?” you asked, pet names falling from your lips as naturally as breathing. He seemed surprised by it though, and looked up at you with a slightly baffled expression. His lifted eyebrows widened his eyes, shifting a battle-hardened stare into a disarmingly innocent curiosity, and you were shocked to feel a little flip in your chest.
“I… ah… I think I’d like this…” he said slowly, pointing to precisely what you would have chosen for him. You nodded, jotting it down in slight relief at the return to normal interaction, “And… could I add this too, please?” You followed his finger and raised your eyes to his, smiling warmly, and you could swear you saw the tiniest hint of red creep across his scar-speckled cheeks.
“Of course,” you answered, giving his hand a pat. “Might take a few extra minutes because Mo is a little swamped back there, but you just sit tight and that will be right out. Can I get you some caf in the meantime?”
He glanced down at the mug on the counter, untouched beside the silverware and napkin, and raised his eyes back to yours with an almost childish sheepishness, “Actually, do you have a fizz?”
Your grin broke your lips apart into genuine delight, and you chuckled fondly as you turned toward the refrigerator behind. “I do indeed,” you affirmed, popping the cap off and sliding the curved bottle across the counter to him. “Be back soon, honey.”
You’d grown busy quickly after that, with a rush of patrons that all seemed to have decided to arrive at the same time, and as you bustled about the diner, gliding effortlessly between tables and your coworkers, you were unaware of the stolen glances that were sent your way from the counter. When his plates finally appeared with a ding on the warming shelf, you ran them over with an apologetic tilt of the head. He was nothing but grace and patience, however, again giving you pause at the kind energy he exuded. You were curious to learn more about this new visitor, but there wasn’t a minute to spare, and after a flurry of orders taken, guests seated, and tables cleaned, you looked back to discover the stool was empty. Next to the immaculately-cleaned plates sat his bill, along with a handful of credits on it to cover the total as well as a tip. You were surprised to note the sinking feeling of disappointment, but had no time to dwell on it as the breakfast rush was still in full swing.
It was nearly a month later when he appeared again, and you had almost forgotten about his initial visit, writing it off as one of the many single customers that would drop in and never be seen again. But as the perky ding announced his arrival, you watched him amble to the same seat at the counter, catching your eye with a grin and a wave. It was later this time -- the quiet lull between morning and afternoon -- and a disproportionate eagerness bubbled up within as you trotted over to greet him.
“Hi handsome!” you said brightly, again feeling light-headed at the puppy-dog eyes and bashful crooked grin that painted his face in response, “You’re back!”
“Yeah, we pass through here every so often…” he answered, fiddling with the corner of the menu underneath his fingernail. You had some time to spare, and leaned on your elbows, falling into easy conversation about the menu, the diner, and his travels.
“I never caught your name, sweetheart,” you said suddenly, tilting your head as you studied his features.
“Wrecker,” he said, in a mixture of pride and bemusement. You laughed, all joy and no mockery, clapping your hand over his own as it sat in a fist on the counter.
“Of course,” you exclaimed, reveling in the perfectly-fitting name for such a hulking beast of a man. “I imagine you’re quite the formidable force, aren’t you?” Your tone was light and playful, and he was taken aback for a mere second before he lowered his chin and gave you a more determined look.
“You could say that,” he said in a low voice, and you felt your stomach twist in a quick clench that made you inhale sharply.
He began to make a regular appearance at your counter, never in any regular rhythm but sporadic visits peppered throughout the weeks. You found yourself making excuses to touch him more, leaning against him when you took his order from his side, brushing your fingers across his shoulders as you passed by to ask if he wanted a refill, and resting your arm on the counter right next to his when you both bent over the menu in a silly excuse to be close -- he ordered the same thing every time. He watched you, too, when you weren’t looking, taking in the way you coddled each customer, laughing at their jokes and patting them on the back, bestowing nicknames and meaningless affections indiscriminately.
You began to give him little extras as well -- kitchen mistakes or “accidental” slips of your own hand that would result in a plate of fresh fruit or an extra bottle of fizz that had been mistakenly opened and was unable to be put back -- and wiped the tables as quickly as you could to glean every spare minute to listen to his stories. When he showed up one day with an entire arm bandaged to his side, as well as a scattering of small patches covering parts of his face, you felt a disproportionate surge of fear and protectiveness.
“What happened?” you gasped, reaching for his cheek without thinking. He shrugged dismissively, casting a glance to the ground as though he were getting in trouble.
“It’s nothing,” he said, “Workplace hazard, you know…”
“You’ve got to be careful, sweet boy,” you murmured, stroking the side of his face before dropping your hand, not missing the heat that radiated off of him. “Can’t have you blowing yourself up out there.”
“You can’t do that…” Wrecker began, but his words were lost as you were whisked away. You’d turned to answer a call from the back, and he had shuffled to his counter seat, touching the spot on his cheek with his own hand and a soft expression.
A few more visits came and went, punctuated with jokes and stories, playful banter and comfortable chatter. The morning rush had died down, with a handful of tables remaining hunched over their plates. A sharp voice broke through the hubbub, catching your attention.
“Oy! Get over here!” A hand waved from the corner booth, where a motley crew of Weequay pirates and humans sat with one of the most lumpy-headed Twi’leks you’d ever seen. You lowered your brows, approaching the table warily with a steaming carafe of caff in your hand. You weren’t one to take any ill treatment, and were just as happy throwing someone out on their ass as you were making them blush with your saccharine praises.
“Problem, fellas?” you crooned, pursing your lips as your eyes roved from one to the next.
“Yeah, you’re takin’ way too long!” said one of the pirates, baubles tinkling on his head and chest. “Our food’s getting cold while you’re drooling over the counter at that big lump!” He jerked his head toward Wrecker, who was still and unmoving, eyes fixed on the situation.
“Your food isn’t ready yet, honey” you returned evenly, pulling some cream cups and sugar packets from your apron pocket and scattering them across the table before topping off their mugs. “Why don’t you enjoy a few more sips of caf, and it’ll be out before you know it.”
The Twi’lek picked up one of the creamer pods, inspecting it for a moment with a malicious glint in his eye, then turned and flung it right at your face, where it bounced off your forehead and fell on the ground. Your gasp of surprise sent him into peals of laughter, and the others joined in.
“Why don’t you go get our food before we make you regret coming to work today?” one of the humans jabbed, and the next thing you knew, you were being shoved aside by one strong arm. Wrecker had appeared behind you, jostling forward to place himself between you and the table at the last vitriolic utterance, and he rose to his full height, cracking his knuckles as he looked at each of them in turn.
“Oh look, big old loverboy is here to--” the Weequay never finished his nasally taunt, instead finding himself lifted by the scruff of the neck and tossed straight behind the counter, where he crashed into a trash can and a pile of empty bottles that clattered around his crumpled form. His cronies flew to their feet immediately, with as much intimidation as they could muster in the awkward movements of getting out of a booth, and banded together to face Wrecker with faces set in grim resolution. The diner grew quiet, a thick tension settling into the air, as the other customers watched with apprehension.
“Anyone else?” he invited, eyebrows set low in a menacing stare.
“Wrecker,” you whispered, pulling on his arm from behind, “You’re going to destroy the entire restaurant.” He hesitated, tilting his head to indicate he’d heard you, then looked back to the snarling band of insulted hotheads before him.
“Yeahhhhh, don’t mess up her pretty little restaurant!” the Twi’lek mocked, making Wrecker’s decision for him. He moved like a flash, swiping his arms out to the sides and taking advantage of their neatly-lined up stance to smack all their heads together in one sickening, echoed thud that dropped all four to the ground immediately, passed out cold. You gasped, taking a step back at the unexpected movement, mouth open in shock and awe. A few patrons burst into laughter and applause, cheering from their booths, and the cooks yelled a chorus of approval from behind the thin window that opened to the kitchen. Wrecker slowly turned to face you, eyebrows that had been razor-sharp a moment ago curving up to regard you with earnest curiosity.
“Sorry…” he began, but you flung yourself against him, stretching to get your arms around him as much as you could to pull him into a tight, appreciative hug. He paused for a moment, then slowly enveloped you in his embrace, mind buzzing as the rest of the cafe returned to their conversations and meals. You pulled back, looking up at him with admiration and cupping his face in one hand, caressing his cheekbone with your thumb.
“Don’t be sorry! You’re my hero, sweetheart. My beautiful big--”
You didn’t get to finish what you were saying, as he bit his lip, brows furrowing suddenly, and tore himself from your grasp, disappearing out the back door. Frozen for a second in a dumbfounded stupor, you grabbed a coworker’s elbow as she passed by, “Can you cover my tables real quick?” She nodded, giving you a knowing wink, and you turned to follow Wrecker into the alley behind the diner. He was pacing restlessly, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand and muttering at the ground. When he heard the door close behind you, he glanced at you with those puppy dog eyes again, then bit his lip and continued his movements.
“Hey baby…” you crooned, not seeing him wince slightly at your voice, “What’s the matter?”
He slowed, dropping his hand from his neck and pausing to regard you evenly. His face was a kaleidoscope of expressions, impossible to read, and you were clueless to the turmoil within. You didn’t know how much you’d grown on him over the last number of months, how frequently his thoughts turned to you, how your gentle touches made his heart swell in his chest. But he’d also seen how you lavished such affection on everyone, and he felt an increasing sense of internal conflict that was driving him crazy, trying to discern if he were just another customer or… more than that.
"Don't ever do that again! You have no idea what it does to me…" he said suddenly, the vehemence in his gravelly voice stunning you a few steps back as he stared at you. Your mind was racing, trying to catch up, and his body was still coursing from the adrenaline of the last few minutes.
“...do what?” you asked, holding your hands up in helpless surrender. Your large eyes met his, round and unguarded, brimming with emotion. He melted inside at your genuine confusion, and he dropped his chin toward the ground, rubbing his forehead in consternation. “Wrecker, I’m sorry,” you began, still unsure of what you were apologizing for, but you ached to see him this way. You drew nearer, tentatively, and laid a hand on his forearm. He dropped his arms to his sides, taking a deep breath and raising his gaze to your face.
“It’s okay,” he said, quietly now, with a crack in his voice that tugged at your heart. “I just…” he fumbled, casting his eyes about as if the words would appear to him somewhere in the alleyway, and settled for a disappointed grunt. A realization hit you, a possibility, a chance… it blossomed warm throughout your limbs. You were wildly unsure, but propelled onward by an unseen force as you slowly stepped closer, bringing yourself within inches of his hulking form, which was uncharacteristically deflated.
“Hey,” you said, soft as velvet, coaxing him to look at you. His mouth twisted, eyes reluctantly lifting to yours. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable…” you ventured, reaching up to ghost your fingers across his cheek precariously, heart thrilling when he closed his eyes and leaned into your palm ever so slightly. “Oh…” you breathed, feeling one of his strong arms slip around your waist, pulling you flush against his broad chest. His eyes opened, rendering you frozen to the spot, and his face curved into a blissful grin.
“I was afraid I liked it too much,” he murmured, capturing you with his gaze, unfathomably soft and yet enticingly intense. “I mean, you’re so sweet to everyone…” You beamed at him, looping your other arm around his neck, positively vibrating with the tingles that resulted from your body being pressed against his.
“It’s my job,” you conceded, “But… I’ve got a particular sweet spot for you, Wrecker.” His tiny gasp was overwhelmingly endearing, and a giggle slipped past your lips, drawing his eyes down to them. He bit his lip, eyebrows drawing together as he darted his gaze back to yours for a moment, then swallowed hard. The slow lean that brought his face to yours seemed to take an eternity, and you relaxed your eyes closed, feeling his arms draw you in more tightly, still holding you as gently as a fragile treasure. When he pressed his mouth against yours, sweet and salty and so soft, you sighed in utter bliss, tilting your head to nuzzle more closely against him. He lingered for a moment, then pulled away with a quiet smack and a sharp inhale, looking down at you in adorable surprise.
He opened his mouth to speak, but finding no words whatsoever, slowly closed it. You slid your hands down his chest, wrapping him in a hug and turning your head sideways to lean against him. His heartbeat pounded against your ear, charming you again with the disproportionate tenderness that resided beneath his intimidating brawn, and one of his hands roved soothingly up and down your back. He sent another burst of tingles through you when he pressed another kiss to the top of your head, causing you to pull away to look up at his affectionate face once again.
“I have to get back to work,” you admitted, hating every word. He let out a breath, nodding slowly, then pinched your chin with gentle fingers, white and brown eyes soaking up your presence as though it were life itself.
“Maybe I can come by when you get off.”
“I’d love that.”
#the bad batch#tbb#bad batch#star wars the bad batch#tbb wrecker#the bad batch wrecker#wrecker x reader#bad batch wrecker#wrecker#wrecker fluff#wrecker fanfic#wrecker one shot#tbb one shots
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Chekhov's Gattling Gun, Part 1
Like a boat, lost at sea
With no sails, not a breeze.
I am drifting, cold waters
No stars to be seen
Life isn't simple. You can't measure every moment in history on a scale of a to b. Life is like a collage, made from disparate materials stuck together, some organised, some more wild. But all of them collaborating into the great picture that is a single human being and their lived experience. This is true for everyone around you, and since no artwork is identical, no person can ever live the same way as anyone else.
Stories work in a similar fashion, with different threads getting tangled and twisted until, with one final pull, the full might of the tapestry is revealed, and the audience can marvel at the beauty, or reminisce about how they watched it come together.
Stray Gods: The Role Playing Musical is a fantastically complex and moving story, and two of the final songs, Adrift Reprise and The Trial serve as a climax in momentum, plot, and theme. These are the moments when the tapestry is revealed.
Let me explain.
SPOILERS AHEAD
Adrift Reprise needs to be understood in the context of its namesake, the first song in the musical, and in the context of, well, it's context. This sits just before the climax of the musical, just before everything comes to a head, and we get this quiet before the storm. And this is also the moment after our conversation with Freddie (you know the one). So, you bet I'm going to talk about that.
Let me start with the imagery, the stage. This is a bit of a meta metaphor, this is a game, literally a story, and the imagery references that. But what I find interesting is the reason why.
Grace has spent the entire musical detached from reality, directionless, unable to pin down. There's a reason you can make any choice for her and it won't feel out of character. She's a blank slate, emotionally and motivationally. The only thing that can get her to do something is a threat of death.
And then we get here, Grace sits upon a stage. But now she has purpose. Now she has something to look forwards to after the trial. This is a Grace that is making up her mind. So, the story acknowledges it's superficiality at the start, when Grace is the most detached, and now, when she is feeling the most real.
This also serves to contrast her with an earlier version of herself. I keep saying that this is a story about change, and here we are presented with how much Grace has changed over the course of the musical.
And despite you not actually getting to choose anything in this song, you feel like this is the culmination of all of your choices up to this point.
Specifically, I am talking about the choice whether or not to bring Freddie back from the dead. I did, on my first playthrough, so I was met with this very quiet version of the song as Grace and I both reflected on what we had just done. There is a noticeable air of uncertainty, and the resolution isn't "I did the right thing", but "I did what I did, now I have to deal with that".
However, there is another path you can take to get to this song.
If you let Freddie go, you get backup music. And you get shown a different change between now and the beginning. Slightly.
I actually think Grace has changed more as a mortal than as a muse. If that makes sense. As a mortal, she owns up to her decisions, and resolves herself. She is alone for now, but she knows she has people to rely on. But as a muse, I think she has definitely changed, although not quite as much. Grace still feels alone, and still has to be brought from that by Calliope. I think that if Freddie stays dead, Grace regresses to the point she began the story in, and has to be given that final boost externally.
The change is different between the two, I simply prefer the former option because I, personally, find it more interesting.
"In your heart, we remain
You do not sail in vain"
All preferences aside, however, this is a cool line. All of the people that Grace has changed have changed her in return. There's another musical with a similar sentiment in it.
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
This is from Wicked, and stay tuned for some analysis of that in the future. But for now, it is the meaning that is important. We grow the most if we accept the help, and we give it back when it's needed. Humans are a communal species, we stay static if left to our own devices, or we spiral.
The question then becomes this: What do you want to do now? How do you want to do this?
If you bring back Freddie, you need to keep her alive through the trial, and if you don't, well now you have to live on in her name. Either way, you need to make a decision.
There is no inertia in the ocean.
(There is a Part 2 going up at the same time as this that will discuss The Trial)
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#rants#literary analysis#literature analysis#character analysis#what's so special about...?#greek mythology#stray gods#stray gods the musical#stray gods spoilers#stray gods the roleplaying musical#stray gods grace#grace#greddie#stray gods calliope#stray gods adrift#part 1 of 2
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You know, I just realized: While Ultrakill *kinda* has an overarching story, each layer tells its own, self contained story (save Gluttony, Heresy, and eventually Treachery), and each of them tie back to the whole story of Ultrakill.
Prelude is, well, the prelude. It tells us the story so far: Mankind is Dead, Blood is Fuel, Hell is Full. It’s a factory before Hell, extracting things out of Hell, and Hell is so full its denizens are escaping. Still, there are other machines such as Swordsmachines venturing within to acquire fuel. There’s no people manning anything here because mankind is dead. It’s pretty standard all things considered.
Limbo is also somewhat self contained. It’s more a Twilight Zone “god that would be fucked up, anyway-“, but parts of its story are important. It tells us about the actors in the story of Ultrakill. It introduces us to some of the key machines, demons, and even foreshadows Gabriel. All while Humanity is caught in a Limbo in the middle, stuck in a prison poorly disguised as paradise, while the real actors roam free and wreak havoc in the Garden, all the while Heaven remains distant. Moreover, the setting is just an interesting portrayal of Limbo as a whole.
Then, we get to Lust. This tells the story of King Minos. The city he built, the home he tried to make within hell. One dedicated to peace and love, doing away with atonement and just trying to move on and protect what they had. It also showed his punishment. How his city lay in shambles and his corpse puppeted around to terrorize his people. Slander to his very name.
Gluttony is part of a 3 part story. While the other acts tend to tell stories of the past, of what has been, Gluttony, Heresy, and I expect Treachery tell stories of the present and the future, with the main character Gabriel at the center. A pulsating, disgusting place, yet Gabriel still has the pride to revere it as an insurmountable palace all to his own. Hell watches through disgusting eyes with its beating heart, but does nothing. Gabriel’s doing its job for it quite well. Of course, his defeat exiles him from his palace, and you can extrapolate from there.
Greed then tells the story of King Sisyphus. His successors, and their continued resistance. Contrasted to Lust, a sad shadow of what it was, barely marred yet empty of the love it was meant to display, Greed instead displays the brilliant ruins of the conquest it acquired. One of the few layers with actual sunlight, and the sands and buildings are just as golden and brilliant. It wasn’t crying because it was over, it was smiling because it happened. It didn’t mourn the distortion of Sisyphus’s insurrections, it celebrated how powerful they had become. And unlike Lust, it doesn’t end with fighting Sisyphus’ punishment. It ends with defeating a rival successor. V2. One of the very things finishing the job Sisyphus started when rising up against Heaven.
Suitably, Wrath follows by telling the story of Heaven. It introduces every enemy related to Heaven that isn’t Gabriel (Virtues, Ferrymen, and Idols), as well as display his form and his kindness across the ship you venture through. The only kindness Heaven ever gave Hell. The flooded Styx showed their neglect, letting Hell flood over with souls desperate for salvation. It showed the few achieving salvation and holy connection through faith, and yet were still kept in Hell despite being worthy, in the Ferrymen. It showed the souls of Humanity who have already proven their worth, and yet are still punished as discardable, menial slaves in the Virtues. It showed the devotion to god, the christening of the unholy demon and the love it can hold and give, a pure display of the good of god, and how Heaven would not hesitate to snuff it out in a moments notice, all shown in the Idols. It showed the sheer danger neglect could bring in the Leviathan. And it showed the one angel who actually cared. Who lent a helping hand, who tried to bring redemption to those who wanted it, and rest to those who needed it. And how none of it meant anything, because Heaven still neglected.
Heresy is more of Gabriel, how his loss is Heresy and yada yada, we don’t CARE about Gabriel here.
Because we are at my favorite. Violence. The ultimate monument to and punishment for its sin. Each level a story of its own in the Saga of Humanity.
The first, an empty canvas, letting the stains of violence shine bright and brilliant as it acted as a twisted prison for the violent. A maze that would madden one to strike themselves, their compatriots, and the very walls of their prison down to escape… the Minotaur did break a lot of walls, did it not? And it was a gift, a monument to the cruel neglect and punishment humanity can bestow upon one another, and the same man who was given the chance to redeem himself chose to continue the cycle he trapped himself in… cycles are important here. Like getting lost in a maze.
Layer 2, a display of war. Of the Violence Humanity commits against themselves and nature. Rivers of blood running red, trenches, barren land, and toppled architecture all around. Repurposed as a battleground. Trampled underfoot. With those who wished to forsake war or were caught in the crossfire strapped to coffins as they mowed down living souls with lead, bled dry for violence.
Layer 3, the madness violence brings. The way it will bring you to harm anyone, even your allies or yourself. This is shown through the blood trees that you feed (inspired by the suicide trees), as well as the madness idols that make enemies fight each other.
And finally, Layer 4. The true display of why War is the Ultimate form of Violence. The Earthmovers are beautiful, antennae to heaven. They hosted towns of people, houses and homes, it had a beating heart and veins, and a functioning mind. And it was made to slaughter. En masse. Something that could have been so beautiful, something that was a testament to what humanity was capable of. Made for more violence. And it was self sustaining. It couldn’t be turned off. And even if it was destroyed, there were dozens more ready to take its place.
Even if you sought redemption, or to at least escape punishment, you’d be trapped. Lost in a labyrinth of your own making, your violence spilling out of you brilliantly onto the walls and floors and ceiling, as you rotted in a disease ridden trench, your monuments falling around you as you beat your fellow man to death with your bare hands, while fire rained down upon you in the form of the centaurs’ arrows, their forms shining like antennae to heaven. It is a labyrinth of your own making. And you will keep getting lost over and over again as you fuel this Null Ouroboros.
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Here's a collection of Trigun Stampede thoughts and observations I had from someone who has only seen this series, since big long posts rarely go over well lol. I'm really intrigued to contrast with the manga later and see if I get similar takeaways... I'm eagerly willing to expand on any of these if anyone is interested but for now they will exist as loose point forms! Hopefully this is coherent!
Firstly: Vash my beloved... please be nicer to yourself... please... you are so kind...
Meryl and Knives are the lead active/driving forces of the show, in contrast to most everyone else's passivity and Vash's reactivity
Meryl's influence on Roberto over the course of the story - she actually has him taking a pretty firm stance later on (which is likely the opinion he held all along, he just buried it), which brings me to the next point-
Conrad and Knives claim to be looking to the future but ignore the present - Roberto dismisses this because those who won't even save a life in front of them in the present moment won't save anyone (this is more in keeping with what Vash does)
The juxtaposition between Conrad and Luida's methods are great and I hope we return to that in the next season
I love Meryl. This is not an observation or analysis it is merely a statement of fact. :)
I wonder if we'll get more Zazie and Meryl interactions. Zazie seems to find Meryl intriguing at the very least. I also just like Zazie and think this could be a really interesting dynamic.
I would also like to see more of Rem, hopefully outside of the biased recollections of Vash and Nai... I still don't feel like I know anything about her :(
Ideals in the service of people (Vash) vs people in the service of ideals (Knives)
Most of the children in the series literally age too quickly. There's a lot to examine there.
Given the attempts to create Independent-like humans by Conrad and the rapid aging of these children... is the serum created from Plants?
Vash 🤝 Me: "Wolfwood" 🥺 (I'm kidding, I'm kidding... mostly.)
Vash and Wolfwood are not fundamentally different, as they first appear to be, but are actually quite similar in their drives (protection of others at personal cost) - the difference in their perspectives comes down to the scope of what they swore to protect (with Wolfwood's being far more limited, thus there are outsiders) and propensity to hope (Vash will act on hope without solid proof, while Wolfwood needs the proof but will jump on it if he sees it - interesting for someone who is associated with religion and faith)
Wolfwood's version of mercy is an unfortunate form of projection (aka Legato is a fucking idiot for thinking removing Wolfwood's attachments would lead him to be solely devoted to Knives. my dude, I am pretty sure that attachment plus raw survival instinct is the only thing keeping him going)
Vash: allows himself to get shot and reveals his scars / Wolfwood: >:O !!! / also Wolfwood: repeatedly takes hits either shielding people or just plain not dodging when he 100% could / Me: 😐
I wish we'd gotten some breathing room in the series. That's my number one gripe about it. Specifically, I wanted a little more time with Wolfwood to get to know him in the present before we got into him having the worst life of his fucking life in the span of two episodes... I also wanted to see a little more of this world that Vash cares about so much! I understand the manga and 98 series do this a little better so I'm excited to see that. Meryl's arc was great though!
Loved the really clever way the flashbacks are done!!! Nai is barely focused on at first, then as his character is slowly revealed, he gets the camera focus and childish behaviours more and more!!!
Huge themes of autonomy and choice. I think they're actually more the point than the whole morality aspect. It's not as important that Vash be perfectly moral and right than it is that his philosophy allows people the chance to choose and change for themselves - Knives' doesn't grant anyone that choice, and in fact, he and the people under him actively remove free will (breaking Vash's mind, the experimentation on Rollo, Wolfwood and Livio, what he did to... the Plants... etc.)
Vash is genuinely angry at Nai in a way he doesn't seem to be with anyone else. I do think a part of him can't forgive what happened to Rem or the emotional strain that comes with watching someone you love repeatedly do horrible things. I don't know if humanity could hurt him the way Nai has. The worst part is that I don't think Nai fully comprehends how badly he has hurt Vash. He looked so confused and hurt when Vash trained the gun on him for the first time. The "ominous piano playing" probably isn't meant to be ominous at all, once we see they used to play that piece together. Nai's been playing it on loop for so long. He wants his brother to come home. :(
The twins treat each other like an extension of themselves for a lot of the story, which is somewhat ironic for a couple of Independents. Vash blames himself and seeks to atone for his brother's actions, Nai thinks any differing opinion his brother has is a result of corruption instead of him being his own person. That is why it is a triumph when Vash finally asserts his identity away from Knives in episode 12, declaring himself his own person. That is why it is a tragedy when Nai would rather let his old self die, figuratively and literally, than accept that.
Nai did not want Rem dead. I stand by this strongly. His anger at her is I believe in part to justify her death in his mind.
Nai wants to return to a time of safety more than anything (the higher dimension is like an "egg", the ship's dome around the two as children, the quietness of the tree, etc.).
Tesla 🤝 Livio: products of human experimentation who really ought to be dead but apparently... aren't??? I am putting them both in my pocket and running away
#had to write this all down before i started the manga... agh i am so behind...#anyways. please. please talk to me about trigun.#trigun#trigun stampede#tristamp#trigun meta#storyrambles#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#nicholas d. wolfwood#roberto de niro#<- i cannot believe they actually named him that. dfhvbsdfhvb#millions knives
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Thoughts on Lily Hollister?
Oh man, I've been thinking about her a lot recently. She's from a period of ASM that I do not always like or understand but she fascinates me as a character.
I remember my first impression of her and Carlie being a cynical "Okay, MJ and Gwen 2.0". I still think she was introduced as part of a "back to basics" push to assemble a neo-CBG, but I have no hard feelings there. Parallel civilian drama is always a plus in a Spidey comic and they are quite cute.
But—as a big HarryMJ fan—this isn't really a rehash. (And not just because Harry is now also meant to be a ditzy glamorous party guy.) MJ was just a teenager dicking around while Lily's non-party goals are political and focused. Note that this "love triangle" kicks off when she realizes Peter is an insider at a paper that opposes her dad. I wasn't reading the letters, but—surely someone guessed Menace's identity the moment "he" turned out to be backing Hollister, right?
She's definitely pulling Harry's strings on the politics side, but isn't emotionally avoidant and spends a lot of private time with him. (If we believe her later, worry about his well-being triggered her origin story.) It seems fair to say she appreciates familial devotion.
ASM #586 is my favorite flavor of Spidey Reveal. The villain is someone we knew and almost trusted, and when we look back the seeds of motivation are there, paralleling our protagonist for dramatic tension! Your dad whose reputation you're curating loves your roommate more than you, you say? He always wanted a son, you say?
There's a deliciously Lady Macbeth flavor to this whole speech.
That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold.
What hath quenched them hath given me fire.
My hands are of your color, but I shame
To wear a heart so white.
Come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here
And fill me from the crown to the toe top-full
Of direst cruelty!
"Okay, you won't be jealous?" she asks seemingly genuinely, in a voice so deep and a body so muscular that everyone has he/him-ed it up until now. The ongoing goblin theme of violence = power = masculinity is blinking neon here. Obvious jokes about Harry's taste in women aside: what kind of philosophy does a woman have to have to be attracted to what the Osborns represent, thinking she's special enough to not be chewed up and spit out?
And she does say she still loves him! You could read that as a manipulative lie, but to me it's more interesting if she does like Harry in her condescending way.
After all, she seems to love her dad similarly, going behind his back to "support" him in ways he'd never want.
It's too bad that this super-intense characterization of Lily is mostly only retrospective. ASM #588 and the jig is up.
Hie thee hither,
That I may pour my spirits in thine ear
And chastise with the valor of my tongue
All that impedes thee from the golden round,
Which fate and metaphysical aid doth seem
To have thee crowned withal.
It's very possible that the gender element is writers being weird about a black woman as a love interest. (I have a whole thesis on how Black side characters are compared/contrasted to the Osborns somewhere.) But I believe that just a little weirdness can add flavor. It seems significant that Menace, as Lily's fantasy of power denied to her, reads as a nonblack male, as though she hopes that becoming an Osborn will grant her whiteness, too...
Unfortunately, I don't think anything has lived up to that reveal. It kind of feels like nothing has even tried.
[sighs extremely deeply] American Son. Throwing out her whole villain speech to have her bear a super-soldier goblin son for Norman to use as the next Real Osborn.
Macbeth once says to Lady Macbeth:
Bring forth men-children only,
For thy undaunted mettle should compose
Nothing but males.
But that's right after Lady Macbeth says she'd murder her own baby with her bare hands if it was personally politically advantageous. Why is Lily "if you want something done right, steal your man's role and do it yourself" Hollister now an obedient heir-producing accessory? And that to a guy she beat the crap out of in ASM #571 for being a waste of rich white dude advantages?
We have gone all the way to the other side of Weird. Where did her jealousy and personal ambition and all the weight behind it go? Where's her guilt for ruining her relationship with her father for good? Why is she calling Norman "babe"?
Origin Of The Species (ASM #642-6) makes some attempt to reconnect to the original character threads with the whole friend group banding together to deal with the fallout of Lily's decisions.
But she still feels mostly like a plot device, and her guilt is more wet blanket than "out, damned spot" levels of satisfying. (She jumped to murder to bolster the name of someone who would never have wanted that! Are we ever going to come back to that part!)
Protecting her child from Norman should redefine her allegiances, but she just... got dragged back to bit-part appearances as an accessory to whichever goblin is the biggest deal at the moment. And got memory wiped for a while and became a black cat ripoff.
I feel like this wouldn't have fallen so flat if Bill Hollister hadn't vanished right after her reveal. Did he ever know about his grandson? A severely underrated element of the classic CBG is how many of their parents/mentors knew each other independently of the kids. The larger web of political + financial + circumstantial connections meant that interpersonal family shockwaves stuck around after the first arc, doubled back, mirrored each other in interesting ways. These should've! This should've.
God this post got long. TLDR crazy first arc that nothing else has even remotely lived up to in my mind yet; it would have to follow up on her bonkers family relationships and deeply jealous personal philosophy (or whatever's left of it).
#lily hollister#harry osborn#comics#axis hobgoblin was fun! but lily :(#I support women's wrongs etc etc#long post#thank you for the ask I have been thinking about this a lot
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actually bc im never gonna shut up abt it while im still on this im gonna ramble abt botw and totk and maybe how i wouldve written a sequel . & i will pay u money to listen i promise
my favoritest of totks ideas are what it expands from botw. botws whole atmosphere is drowned in quiet mourning. something bad has happened but it was a long time ago. it still hurts but theres nothing to be done now but move forward. something is still missing but all you can do is find something else. nobody has resources to rebuild and you can hear deafening echoes of better times but the alternative is giving up. you are in this frozen state of not quite moving on and not quite in despair. like the numbness stage of grief. and the pivotal element of all of that is that link is alone. like, oppressively alone. its the primary vehicle of conveying this mood. and its interesting because this can be read not only as what link is experiencing through the player but what zelda is feeling as she holds back ganon. its an interesting contrast to have zelda mature faster than link in the flashbacks, only for link to pull her the rest of the way by growing himself
and the reason why i so strongly adore the light dragon aspect of the plot is because it shows how attached to everything zelda has gotten. arguably, zelda held back ganon in botw because she loved link. in totk, she becomes the light dragon because she loves hyrule, which had previously been so unimaginably cruel to her. the crux of her character is learning that attachment is good. loving is good. you deserve to leave an imprint on the world in a shape of Your choosing instead of being another factory print on a paper. on a surface level, shes making the same choice, but the motivation and growth behind it is really powerful
i could waffle for literally ever about all that and the point is that totk takes these ideas and implements them really well through in-game worldbuilding and specifically zelda turning into the light dragon. i would occasionally get extremely emotional just seeing how things have expanded because it feels like the world is finally moving on. theres a catharsis in seeing hyrule finally heal after knowing its desolation so intimately, especially because the state of the land itself is such a strong parallel to the arcs of the two main characters, so you get the sense that not only can people move on, link and zelda specifically have started to as well. thats my favorite part
thats why i think its an odd choice that they decided on a time travel plot. if zelda HAS to be the one getting saved, if she cant be a companion in some way either via sheikah facetime or spirit tracks shenanigans or whatever, there are lots of ways to do this without her being magic fruit snacked ten bajillion years into the past. why spend all this effort intertwining her and link with the land, only to remove her from the equation and have no further growth? in botw its understandable that hyrule is stagnant and only changes when link does because zelda is stagnant and link is doing the one changing during the game. in totk its the opposite. there are lots of ways to do this with out Having to play as zelda (though honestly that would be the way id go about it)
also a lot of my own ideas have to do with the wasted potential of a place like the depths???? what the hell do you mean theres this mind bogglingly big cavern underneath the entirety of hyrule which mysterious people used to live in and it has almost no story relevance beside being a cool setpiece???????? I FEEL INSANE?!?!??!?!? there are so many good ideas in totk that never get expanded dude FUCK
i think no matter how much i speculate and draft my own preferences of how i wouldve liked totk to elaborate on the things it introduces i cant ever bring myself to present them like they couldve realistically happened and gotten thru the nintendo writing room simply bc of the games format. if it were up to me doing certain story missions would radically change the open world as events happened in real time and thats not the MO of the game's design philosophy. honestly totk's biggest enemy is the memory system and i need to kill it with fire
#for all im talking abt it i dont actually know how i would implement the light dragon twist in my own version of the story#in a way that would preserve that surge of emotion u get upon realizing who she is and get rid of the needlessly convoluted time travel#my first thought is that it happens in the depths and the connection is disguised by red herrings#and similarly to the light dragon breaking the cloud barrier it breaks areas of the depths open#so theres prophecies and literature about the light dragon or whatever down there that leads the player to believe that shes just-#-like farosh naydra and dinraal. that the depths is just where she hangs out#and she doesnt have a unique name like them because of a language barrier#heliichats#tloz
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how do i start caring about cousland origin? idk i just can't bring myself to give a single fuck about some noble guy's parents dying even though it's probably dramatic, traumatic and whatnot
it’s definitely the least interesting of the origins. to me. not that there’s no value in it and i’m not bashing couslands but it’s easily the most classic fantasy narrative and requires the most work on the player’s part to make interesting
i got invested in couslands only recently because i love fantasy worldbuilding and politics and the couslands have a really insane unique position in ferelden when you look into it. i also think they open up a lot of game decisions that otherwise don’t make sense to consider because they have quite a different background to the others, like they have very different political priorities, probably more complex fereldan loyalties and senses of their duty and rights that come into conflict w their grey warden directive, infinitely more likely to be an uncomplicated andrastian (side note, quietly non-andrastian cousland family would fuck. as an au/hc concept. has anyone done that), don’t instinctively relate to experiences of being oppressed or an outsider, etc. etc. i also think there’s different character opportunities in someone who has had a very sudden tragic downfall from a life of relative comfort surrounded by loving family, as opposed to someone who has uh always been exposed to threat in the way that the other origins in different ways have.
i would also say i think couslands work really really well (and i find them most interesting) in multiwarden worldstates. to play other characters off of by contrast. i probably won’t get around to playing my cousland but i would never do multiwarden without adding a cousland
overall i think you can take what’s basically true—that cousland is a very standard fantasy hero backstory—and you can either dismiss it or you can take the trope that’s been put in front of you and play with and challenge that. okay, so i have a standard fantasy hero. what does that mean? do they buy into their own story of being protagonist of the universe? do other people? how does it affect the way they deal with other people’s suffering especially the kind they can’t relate to? how can we fuck up the narrative? what do i mean with this and where do i think you could take it. um. i think cousland’s one of the best origins for an “evil playthrough” and that’s one way to take it but i’m also thinking of, like, you could do something SUPER compelling with... idk make alistair do the hero’s sacrifice for them and they have to live out their narrative knowing they were never the real hero in the end. you see what i mean like you just need to take the ideas presented and fuck with it, i think. cousland makes you do the work
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