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tastyykpop · 3 years

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𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-ρ† 3

Pairings: enemy, barista, student!jaemin x student, barista!reader.

Warnings: fluff, angst if you squint real hard

Anger and frustration was the only way to describe it. Plus the lingering feeling of humiliation when jaemin didn't give a direct answer. Students eyed the two of you, mostly you for your braveness to even confront the boy which was shocking from their point of view, knowing all too well of your history with each other.

For once though, you've seen jaemin hesitate and stutter with an answer. It was quite something really, and you couldn't believe it.

And it wasnt like it was a yes or no answer, he only blurted out, "W-we have tu-tutor sessions...later...." and walked away after a few seconds of looking at you. God, and everyone was whispering among themselves and friends like it was the hottest topic, which in a strange sense it kind of was.

You dragged yourself back to the table where yeri sat and put your head in your arms.

You felt stupid. This wasn't how you thought your day would go, nor did you think jaemin would say something like that. Instead, you thought jaemin would for sure say yes. The things he said, the way he acted, jaemin couldve passed as your boyfriend and you thought maybe now it was possible.

"Y/n are you okay?" Yeri put a hand on your arm and you shook your head, still buried in your arms.

"I hate him." Your voice came out muffled.

Yeri let out a long sigh, "Its going to be okay. There’s plenty of other guys you'll meet who'll be worth your time." She stopped when you lifted your head. The look on your face was melancholy and red, but she didn't know what she could do about it. "What about that taemin guy? He's pretty cute. And from what you told me, he's super nice." Yeri wiggled her eyebrow suggestively making you groan.

"I don’t want to hurt him." You frowned, not being able to imagine using him as a rebound, "I realized I don’t like him like I thought I did."

"I get it. But don't pain yourself over a boy." She shook her head and let out a quiet chuckle, "especially jaemin."

"But jaemins literally what I want. How am I supposed to ignore that?"

Yeri stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, "Its almost impossible to ignore feelings..." There was a short pause until she started again, "So maybe just...ignore him? I don’t know man, I’m not good at this stuff."

"Yeah no shit," You snorted, "but ignoring him is an option. He gets mad when I do things like that, and ignoring him would get his attention, which means," you took a deep breath and grinned, "I’d get my ass destroyed by him whenever he breaks!"

"That’s literally not at all what I meant by ignoring him."

You sat back in your seat, smiling like a maniac to yourself at the devilish plan that would possibly not end well for you.

"But it could work." You pointed out.

"Could doesn't mean would. You know what, talking to you is like talking to a brick wall." As yeri stood up and gathered her trash, you threw your pile along with hers just to annoy her. "This is why I'm your only friend."

"I thought you were going over jaemins for tutoring?" Jimin asked with a raised brow at your sudden intrusion into the apartment giving him no time to put a shirt on.

"I decided not to go." You shrugged, setting your bag on the floor. In reality, it was just the start of your plan of ignoring jaemin, but you weren't going to tell jimin that.

"Huh?? But you said he was good at trig and you would fail without him." As he tilted his head in confusion, you tried to come up with an excuse.

And not even a second later, an idea popped into your head, "I’m starting to understand it better." It wasn’t far from the truth to be honest, jaemin was doing a very good job at explaining, but in reality, you weren't perfect at all.

"Liar! You suck at trig!"

Your eye twitched, "I understand it slightly better."

"I still don't believe you." Jimin shrugged, "its only been like 2 days."

"I’m a fast learner." You huffed. Sadly your roommate knew you too well for you to lie. It wasn’t surprising anymore that he could point out just one flaw.

"Another lie. Now run along, I’m watching tv." Jimin shoo'ed you away with a hand motion. It took almost all your patience not to say anything in return, but it was pointless now.

Once in your room, you threw yourself onto the bed, not caring enough to close the door as you started changing from school clothes to regular shorts and a tank top.

Now once looking back at it, today was just a weird day. It was quiet in all the classes like someone just flipped a switch and one thing that threw you off the most was that jaemin didn’t ignore you completely like you thought he would, but instead he still helped with the work you were struggling with. Other than that he never talked to you. And it wasn’t like you wanted him to, you actually didn't want him to because of your little plan.

To be expected, you got multiple texts from him wondering where you were and why you weren't at his house and each text got more and more threatening so you just put your phone on silent and decided to take a nap until work. If this is how jaemin acts when you ignore him for barely a day then it should be easier to break him then you thought.

Rolling over in your bed, you closed your eyes, ignoring the aching feeling of anxiousness in your gut and tried to get some sleep. But sleeping was almost impossible. No matter how sleepy you were, or how heavy your eyes were, sleeping just didn't want to come. And you really didn't want to go on your phone because jaemin was calling you and in a matter of time you would probably answer it because you were just a little afraid of him.

Moving out of the bed and getting ready for work was your last option. Though the amount of black pants and white shirts that were lost from your closet made you realize how much you actually worked. The last time you had a day off was during summer vacation with jimin and a few of his friends plus yeri. Its been a while, and you kind of missed the break but you can't complain too much since you're making such good money.

After throwing on the clothes and lacing up your shoes, you left after saying good bye to jimin. Its still early, but you couldn't bring yourself to pass time until work and going there wasn’t as bad as one may think.

After you got in the car, you left the apartment, driving off to the cafe. You blasted some of your music on the way, singing the lyrics loudly since no one was in the car. You gotta say, driving alone is sometimes more fun since you can do stuff like this without people judging you.

Finally at the cafe, Irene happily greeted you, not giving you time to say hi back and started jumping up and down talking about her promotion to manager. She literally looked like she'd explode any minute from too much happiness.

"I get to boss you around even more than I did before." She grinned and you playfully shoved her to get to your station.

"If that’s possible." A little fist punched your shoulder as you laughed, "I’m kidding, I’m kidding."

"Hey, I'm not that bad! But I could be worse if you’d like." You covered your mouth to stifle the laugh that would come out when she sent you a wink.

There were many orders coming up, food, smoothies, coffee, anything. It kept you, irene, and your coworkers in the back completely occupied and busy. Youd even catch yourself drifting off into space because you were working too fast, almost messing some orders up too.

"I can bring this to the customer, go work on the other orders please." Irene rushed away after you smiled and did what she wanted.

Moments passed and after a few more drinks you saw the familiar black haired man walking into the back where you stood making a drink.

Jaemin didn't look all too happy when he saw you, so you tried your best to ignore him, but its not easy to ignore someone who’s been on your mind the whole day and somehow you're just figuring that out now.

He looked nice too, well he always does, but his black hair looked particularly very good. The way it was parted yet still fell over his face on some ends, and the way some parts stuck out just looked pretty on him.

"You’re here early...again." jaemin spoke while looking up at the orders, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"I was kind of bored at home." You muttered, moving as jaemin reached over you for a cup.

"Should’ve came to my house to study, maybe you wouldn't have been so bored." He lifted an eyebrow in your direction almost tauntingly and expecting a snap back but you stayed quiet, keeping it silent for a bit.

Jaemin was doing his order, and you did yours, though it did feel like time was just dragging you slowly through the day because you were so anxious near him. You felt as if he would break if you stepped out of place even just a bit. But wasn’t that your plan in the first place?

"Why didn't you answer my texts?" Jaemin began and you looked up from the last drink you put in the tray. He had anticipated your answer as you suspired.

"I was sleeping.."It was obvious that you didn’t want to talk as you tried to walk away with the tray in hand followed by jaemin grabbing your shirt and pulling you back, the tray tipping slightly.

"Sleeping? How could you be sleeping when you read my texts? Now why are you lying to me?" Question after question, you tried wiggling out of his strong grasp and rolled your eyes to show you didn’t care. With only so much patience left, jaemin grabbed your hair, bringing your face closer to his. "I asked you a question so i suggest you answer before I spank your ass in front of everyone."

You stopped and nervously looked around the cafe to see if anyone heard him, but luckily for you everyone was minding their own business or not paying attention but still you couldn’t mask your shyness, "Y-you wouldn't do that. You're bluffing." You huffed.

Though you're not much shorter than jaemin, you felt small under his strong gaze, almost weaker near him too.

"Wanna bet?" He questioned and his sincerity was almost scary. You could feel his hand snake a bit too far down your backside and you pushed him off. "Answer me; why are you lying?"

"I don’t know." He slowly let go of your hair and ran his fingers through it. Nervousness fell over you, thinking he'd grab it again.

"You don’t know, huh." Jaemin said softly. You shook your head hoping he'd believe it.

"I-i don’t.."

Jaemin rolled his eyes, "Don’t lie or ignore me again."

"Yeah yeah whatever-" You cried when he grabbed and tugged on your hair again, making your face contort in pain, "Okay! Fine! I wont do any of that again!"

That being said, jaemin let go after giving you that natural look telling you not to push him today, or any day for that matter. "Little bitch." You mumbled.

"Call me that again, I dare you."

It took almost all of your self control to not flip him off.

Lee jeno, the infamous frat boy and fuck boy on campus, was jaemins closest friend. He was gorgeous, kind, and smart, but one thing that set you off about him was he could be quite rude. Just one flaw, and it happened to only be towards you. So you wondered; 'why the hell am I asking lee jeno for help when there's a hundred more men in this school?' Because jeno was jaemins closest friend. Plain and simple. The only thing is, your brilliant plan could fail. Either way it was a fifty-fifty chance.

"Lee jeno!" You called and ran up to the boy, confused as to why you looked happy to see him when you and him don't really like each other. "I have a question."

"I might have an answer." Jeno surprisingly smiled, now you see why people were whipped.

"I want to make jaemin jealous."

He stopped in his tracks and nervously laughed, "Why would you want to do that? Of all things?"

You smiled up at him, "I wanna be a pain in his ass so I have an idea and I need your help." Jeno scratched the back of his head, still not sure where you were headed with this conversation.

"Uhh...okay what is it then?" You happily jumped when jeno gave you the go to ask.

"Can you be my fake boyfriend?"

"You’re who-what!?" Jeno choked trying to find a hint that you were joking and just testing him or something, but you were dead serious and that's what made him scared. "So you’re plan to make jaemin jealous is to date me? Damn that’s kinda smart and bit bitchy."

You frowned, "I just like making him regret certain things and testing his patience is all."

"So a bitch," he shrugged, " but how the hell would this whole thing work? You and I don’t have a really good record with each other and hes well aware of that. Jaemins not dumb." Jeno pointed out as you tilted your head in almost a ‘you’re so stupid’ manner.

“Didn’t you take acting lessons?” There was a slight delay but he nodded nonetheless, “Then just act the part, lee. Its not that hard.” you rolled your eyes with a scoff, jeno playfully slapped your shoulder.

“Its not that simple! Its you for gods sake! How am i supposed to pretend to like you?”

“I dont know, you just do it.” Shrugging off the almost annoyed yet smiling boy, you noticed someone out the corner of your eye; the devil himself. Just staring at the two of you. Surprisingly, jeno took notice of that and grabbed your hand while walking close to you, never letting his smile fall, and walked around the school building to a bench.

"That was smooth." You mumbled earning a laugh from jeno. "See, was that so hard?”

The boy rubbed the back of his neck nervously with an eye smile, “I guess not, but do you really think he’ll fall for it?”

That was a good question and if you sat and thought about it more, you probably would’ve said no, but for some reason you pushed out a yes. Jaemins a jealous and possessive boy, there’s no way this shouldn’t work.

“Hell yeah. Have I ever steered you wrong?”

“Well-”

“Don’t answer that.”

Currently, you and jeno were awkwardly flirting with each other in front of jaemin at the cafe. Light touches and small smiles and giggles was kind of annoying in jaemins eyes. But this was the best plan yet.

After not going to jaemins third tutor session and ignoring multiple other calls because he didn’t bother texting anymore, you were at the cafe on your day off just to piss him off. And for some reason, this was probably the most fun, yet awkward moment in your life.

"Is he still watching?" Jeno whispered as he smiled to make it seem as if he was flirting.

You quickly glanced up and jaemin was indeed still watching, actually glaring, but you couldn't even tell if it was at you or jeno, maybe even both.

"Hes still watching." You turned and grinned at him. "He looks very mad."

"I know something to get him more mad."

"And what would that be?" Raising an eyebrow at him, jeno suddenly grabbed you by your face and kissed your cheek.

"Now look back and tell me if hes still there."

You were shocked but did as he said and sure enough, jaemin was no where to be seen, "Hes gonna kill us..."

"No just you, I’ll be gone by then." He laughed when you sent him a glare. "This was your plan not mine."

"And this will for sure end my life later on," You faced jeno, "When was the last time he was really mad?"

Jeno sat back to think about it and let go of your hand that you forgot he was holding, "He got into a fight with one of our friends just a few months ago. You know donghyuck, right?"

You nodded your head. Of course you knew donghyuck, he was the biggest brat of them all and out of every one of jaemins friends, you got along with him pretty well, turning out to be very good friends. You haven't talked to him in few weeks though, college kind of messed some things up for you guys but you still try to keep in contact as much as possible.

"Well a few months ago jaemin and hyuck got into this huge fight."

"Was it as bad as that time mark and hyuck fought?" You asked and jeno shook his head.

"No it was probably worse. Jaemin was almost in a fist fight with him--actually no I think they did end up physically fighting." Jeno sighed, "Anyways jaemin was super cold to everyone and got into a lot of fights with some other people like me," he giggled at the thought, "It was also around the time he dumped coffee on your head."

Only jeno could bring back that stupid coffee incident and make you remember when you wanted to commit a murder.

"That was one of the worst things hes done to me don’t make me think of that." You whined, throwing your head back, "And hes done a lot of bad things."

Jeno grinned, he was standing next to jaemin at the time laughing at you. In his perspective it was funny, but for you, it was not.

"Not gonna lie it was kind of funny, but I did feel a bit bad."

"Woah. You felt bad for me!? Who the hell are you?" You said dramatically making jeno throw his head back in laughter.

"Someone who actually has remorse," He looked you up and down before starting again, "for some people."

You huffed, "And to think you were becoming nice." Jeno giggled one last time but it quickly faded away when a hand slammed on the table.

Both of you looked up at the boy with jet black hair, he was none too happy with all your laughing and 'flirting', and wanted to interrupt it the best he could.

"Hey jeno," jaemin nodded his head in his friends direction, somehow managing to make his anger dissolve into a real smile.

"Whats up?" Jeno smiled.

You sat back staring at the two, jaemins eyes were locked onto jenos and his hand was still sitting there. They were like statues.

"Oh you know...working and watching you dumbasses flirt." Jaemin painfully grit his teeth, still holding a smile and you tried not to laugh.

Out of all things you found cute, it was jaemins poor attempt at trying not to be angry or jealous. It was like watching a rom-com but in real life.

"Its disgusting." Jaemin mumbled.

He turned towards you, but with no smile like you didn’t deserve one which in this case you was probably true since this was your idea in the first place.

"I've never seen you come here on your day off. Isn't that a bit strange?"

"Jeno wanted something sweet," you lied, "and we have the best sweets. What, can I not come here on my day off?” Man did jaemin find you annoying right now. It was getting to the point that talking to you was becoming a chore. Either he couldn’t talk to you because you ignored him or you started speaking in ways that made his eye twitch.

"You're gonna be in so much trouble later." Jaemin muttered low enough for you to hear. Jeno smirked at jaemins words too, knowing this was working way too well for you. "I should get back to work before irene gets mad and you guys should get going too."

You raised a brow, "And why is that?"

"Jeno always brings his dates home to fuck."

"If you're jealous then just say it." You growled.

Jaemin looked between you and a red faced jeno and snickered, "Im not jealous, I already had my turn." He winked and walked away leaving you and jeno staring at each other with wide eyes.

"I...feel like this didn’t go as we intended.." jeno laughed but with no emotion, almost in a sadistic way.

You puffed out your cheeks, not sure what to do now that jaemin was playing like this too.

"I should bring you back home." He started standing but you grabbed his hand to stop him.

"No wait.” He looked down at you, “Isn't there a party later?"

"Yeah?" jeno tilted his head, wondering why you’re asking this question when you never go to any of the frat party’s.

"Lucas is throwing it right?" Jeno nodded his head and you perked up, "Can we go?"

It was a strange request, you never wanted to go to any parties because you worked and studied whenever you felt the need to, so parties were never on your mind. But right now, you felt that a party is what you need. You've never been but it can't be that bad if you're with someone. And you even know the host so there should be other people you know too. It would be fun anyway.

"If you really want to, but you might lose me at some point."

"That’s okay," your face said otherwise, "I’ll try to find someone I know." It wasn’t likely that you would, but you knew that the main people who were going to go was hyuck and lucas. There was also jaehyun and johnny, the only thing was you didn’t know them as well as hyuck or lucas and ever talked to them a few times. They were nice, but you probably wouldn't go up to them and strike up a conversation.

"Alright then let's go, the party’s gonna start in like two hours. And seeing how long it took you just to get ready for this stupid date, you’re probably gonna need it." Jeno pulled you up by the hand that stopped him before, and you both walked out of the cafe.

You got into jenos car and put on your seat belt waiting patiently for him to drive off. The only problem was that he was busy on his phone, trying to find music to play.

"Don’t look at me like that." Jeno did a double take at your unamused face that clearly stated you wanted to leave so you can get ready for the party.

"Then pick a damn song and let's go." You smacked his thigh repeatedly causing him to groan and put his playlist on shuffle, driving off after hitting play. "See, that wasn’t so hard now was it?"

"Your’e annoying. I cant believe i even said yes to this fake dating thing. Now I see why jaemin didn’t respond."

"Hey that's not very nice," you pouted, "and don't make me think of that for God sake, its depressing."

"Good now shut up and let me drive." And so you did, letting just the music and jenos quiet singing be the only thing playing in your ears.

It was a quick ride anyway from your job to the apartment, jimin was doing his normal thing which was sitting on the couch shirtless and watching dramas. The little up and down he gave jeno wasn't unseen by you either, but you never commented as you walked by with a smirk.

Jeno was close behind you too almost like a lost puppy. He even sat on your bed and watched you apply a bit of make up for the party and lazily lounged about as you picked an outfit, not sure whether to go with an innocent pink flowy skirt, or black ripped jeans.

"I like the skirt better," jeno hoisted himself on the bed, "it gives me better access-"

"Don’t even think about it!" You whipped a pillow straight to his head, he wasn’t quick to dodge as it hit him perfectly where you wanted it to, "I’m about to choose the jeans."

The boy tilted his head as he pouted at the two choices in your hand, Jeno preferred the innocent look on women but this wasn’t for him--in fact it wasn’t for anyone except yourself, but he couldn’t stop from staring at the pretty baby pink skirt.

"How about you try them on and pick which one you think looks better on you." He smiled that eye smile of his after having a little war with himself.

You nodded your head and rushed to the bathroom to throw on one of the bottoms first.

Once you came back, you stood in front of jeno with the jeans on and checked yourself out in the mirror. It hugged your waist sweetly and complimented your legs well, but you didn’t think this was going to be the winner out of the two.

"Okay maybe a skirt would look better." You whispered loud enough for jeno to hear.

"Told you! Skirts suit you better anyways." Jeno sat against the headboard in victory as you went back to change into a skirt. The only thing left was a top, but jeno seemed to already have that covered when he threw a white laced bralette at your face. "This is cute." He made heart eyes at the bralette you held up.

"It is but don't you think it would show too much?" You questioned, though you couldn’t lie that you were a bit tempted to wear it though it did cut a bit low.

"Dude its fine, a lot of other girls wear way worse stuff than what I just gave you."

You decided to trust jenos words, and left to put on the shirt. Unsurprisingly it looked amazing with the skirt and your beautiful skin. So maybe jeno was good at picking clothes out, but you wouldn't tell him that.

After doing any last few touches you had, you and jeno left after saying goodbye to jimin, who was still checking jeno out, and left for the party.

"You’re not gonna change?" You wondered as you sat in the car.

Jeno shrugged and smiled, "I’m a guy so I don't care what I wear."

"Thats cap."

Jeno rolled his eyes and began driving to the destination. Sometime during the ride you snatched his phone to find a good song to play, ignoring the boy who whined as you took it from him.

After finding a song and placing the phone back down, you carelessly started belching the lyrics out to purposely irritate jeno who was struggling to not pull the car over and leave.

"Y/n, who sings this song?"

"Michael Jackson, why?"

"Please keep it that way."

"I-"

"And we are here!!" Jeno slammed on his breaks and peacefully left the car as if he didn’t just insult your singing. You got out, a bit intimidated by the crowd of people standing outside dancing with drinks in hand while others smoked. Girls all in tight shirts that hugged them perfectly or the shorts that made their ass pop almost literally. Boys being boys by taking shots or chugging their beer in competitions. This was all new to you and somehow you found yourself clinging onto jenos arm like a little girl.

"Is it always this crowded?" You looked up waiting for his answer.

"Yeah but that's because it's lucas' party. He always knows how to bring people in," he looked around at some of the unfamiliar faces that were chilling by the entrance, "c’mon let's go inside."

Jeno dragged you in like you were the lightest thing and passed you a cup once at a table filled with drinks.

"Want something. Maybe a shot?" Jeno winked as you scoffed.

You looked between the variety of drinks, they were all too strong or too bitter for your liking because of your lack of drinking so it only made your face scrunch, "These are all disgusting."

"Oh come on! Don't tell me you're a light weight!" Jeno complained but needless to say he still grabbed your cup, barely filling it with some alcohol and handed it back.

You looked at the somewhat dark liquid and sniffed it. Not the sweetest scent, but it is what it is. Tilting your head back, you drank the small amount that jeno gave you and he watched with wide eyes as you coughed at the intense flavor. Something like a mix of cinnamon.

"...you just drank fireball.." jeno mumbled but you were still focused on the burning sensation in the back of your throat. It definitely isn’t a smooth drink and its fairly strong, something you can't take, but you shook the cup in his face for more, "Are you trying to get wasted?"

"Well we are at a party-"

"Y/NNN!!!!" A voice interrupted the conversation and you both turned to see none other than lucas himself running towards you with wide arms, two cups in hand, and a huge smile on his face. "I haven't seen you in so long!!" Lucas engulfed you in a bear crushing hug making jeno laugh behind you.

"You saw me last week." You said in his chest, still being crushed by the giant.

"That’s a long time for some people, be considerate man." Lucas let go, drinking out of the cup in his right hand. "So what brought you here? You never come to parties."

"I asked jeno-"

Lucas spat out his drink, "Jeno!?" He looked behind you to jeno smiling and waving at him. "I think i drank too much cuz im seeing shit." He stared into his drink.

Jeno chuckled and took the other drink out of lucas' hand, "You aren't seeing things." He started drinking from the cup and Lucas frowned watching the younger. "She just wanted to come with me for some reason."

Lucas looked at you and you nodded back, "Then now that you're here, get drunk so we can play games."

"More fireball?" Jeno lifted the bottle up and Lucas nodded.

"More fireball."

You shouldn't have taken more than 2 shots of fireball. It was impossible for you to think straight, in fact, you found yourself sitting on jenos lap with him being equally as drunk, well, maybe not as bad but still pretty hammered.

There were even times where you both would start flirting with no context. From someone else's point of view, it was probably funny, but to you and him, it was like you wanted to get into each others pants.

"Look," jeno lazily pointed over to the entrance where seulgi walked in with jaemin close behind. "I have a plan if you wanna do it."

"Hmm," you frowned at the two, jaemin was smiling at seulgi who was talking his ear off and giving him subtle flirtatious hints while she walked to the drink table, "Sure what is it?"

Smirking, jeno moved his hand lower on your waist, "Promise you won't kill me after this?"

"Depends on what you're gonna do."

Jeno reached to take a sip of beer, knowing that after this night he'd be throwing up from all the drinking, "Ill do it when he looks over."

A drunken pout sat on your face as you were so curious to know what he had in mind, but jeno still grinned at your behavior, rubbing up and down on your waist.

What shocked you the most was when jeno suddenly put his lips on yours. You've figured out by now that this was his plan so you didn't push him off.

Though you couldn't see it, jenos was staring into jaemins eyes as he smirked against your lips. It was like he beat jaemin at something and came up to the top for once. But you were too focused in making out with jeno to even notice the burning eyes in your back, watching as jeno gripped your hips and kissed you back hungrily like a devil. He tasted like alcohol and you couldn't say you were any sweeter, but maybe it was the intoxication that made you start to enjoy this moment a little more than you should’ve.

"W-what the hell...?" Jeno pulled back hesitantly looking behind you. Trying to look back, jeno took you by the face making you look at him, "Please only look at me."

"Whyyyy?" You leaned into his hand and jeno almost softened up but clenched his jaw in return.

"Drink some water." He changed the subject, handing you his bottle of water that he kept with him the entire time for whenever any of you needed it, and right now seemed like the time.

You swatted his hand away, almost spilling the water and started, "But I wanna look."

"Unless you want to see jaemin shoving his tongue down seulgis throat, I suggest you don’t."

"Hes what!??"

Jeno giggled like a little school girl probably from your furious face, "Its what you get, so don't even get mad when you do the same thing."

"But you’re the one who kissed me first, I only went along with it." Your growled and took a heavy chug from the water you pushed away. "I’m mad at you."

"Should’ve pushed me off."

"I figured you did it for a reason."

"Then don’t get mad."

"I- you- I'm gonna be mad!!"

Jeno rubbed his temples like you were the most infuriating thing known to man. He doesn't know how jaemin could put up with you and hes amazed how far he got with your antics. It was ticking him off but he didn't want to just drop you now, it was still somewhat fun.

"We should go dance." You looked towards the many groups of sweaty people grinding on each other, having a good time enjoying the party. You sighed, it would be fun you thought.

Jeno perked up at your sudden mood change noticing how you weren't in the slightest mad anymore, now registering that you have mood swings when you're drunk or tipsy.

"I don’t dance."

"Don’t lie! You're literally a dancer, c’mon!" You got up off his lap and hoisted him up, bringing him to the dance floor. He placed his hands on your hips as you moved against him, just letting the music flow through you and let your body move on its own.

You didn’t actually care if jaemin saw you grinding on his best friend because right now, you were actually having fun. Maybe it was because you were wasted or maybe it was because of the excitement and happiness here that made you love it so much. Either way, you found joy just dancing with jeno.

"Isn't this fun?" You moved your head to smirk at him, but jeno seemed a bit uncomfortable.

"Maybe if you weren't grinding on me, I'd say yes, but right now it's a hard no."

You knew what he meant and that’s why you pushed back a bit. Stopping when he gripped your hips in a way that hurt a bit.

"Stop it y/n." He whispered in your ear.

You whined and said, "Make me." Jeno stood back, not sure what to do right now. He may be a fuck boy but he has boundaries. Plus you’re drunk and don’t know what you’re saying.

"We should go home."

"But I wanna dance and have fun with you!!" You voice came out slurred and jeno automatically took another step back.

"Not gonna happen, you’re wasted." Grabbing your hand, he walked towards the front door so he could bring you home, but of course this would be the perfect time for jaemin to stop him.

"Whats wrong with her?" His voice was laced with concern seeing your current state; droopy eyes, and a way too happy smile.

"Shes drunk so I’m taking her back home." Jeno tried walking passed but jaemin stopped him again. If jeno wasn’t as drunk or tispy, jaemin probably would’ve let him bring you back, but jaemin couldn’t be so sure and wanted you safe. Plus, he may or may not be a bit mad at jeno.

"No stay, I can bring her back." Jaemin pushed, not because he wanted to show you discipline for the last few days, but because he was genuinely worried for your current state.

"What about seulgi?"

Jaemin looked back at the girl who was now talking with some of her friends, clearly not paying attention or taking notice of his disappearance. "She'll be fine." He brushed it off, "Lemme take y/n."

It took a few seconds for jeno to let go of your hand and stand back for jaemin to take you before you fell over. But he was so gentle with you, and because of that jeno was sure jaemin wouldn’t do anything bad to you.

"Be careful." Jeno said, jaemin nodded back and walked away with you slightly stumbling down the stairs just after he said that.

You started giggling at yourself while jaemin was actually struggling to keep you up. Somehow though, he made it to the car before you tripped and out your seat belt on before climbing in the drivers seat.

"Nana, where are we going?" You slurred.

Jaemin smiled at the little nickname you never used, "To my house if that’s fine with you."

"Your house is nice." Leaning against the window, you rested your head as you started zoning out.

Jaemin didn't mind though, he wanted you to get some rest, at least before he got to his house so he could put you to bed. But it wasn't like you'd sleep for long because the drive was only 5 minutes.

When jaemin started carrying you out, that was when you started putting up a fight. Not only was jaemin try his best to not get angry, but he also tried to reason with himself when you started whining and pushing him away. Either sweet talk or show who's in charge.

"Y/n please cut it out, I’m just bringing you to my room." Jaemin groaned, struggling to keep you still in his arms.

"But I wanna walk."

"You can barely walk right now."

You didn’t care and continued moving around and kicking his arms away trying to get him to put you down, but just like you--he was stubborn and he carried you the whole way to his bed.

Softly putting you down, he went to grab some clothes for you. When he came back you already discarded your skirt and were about to take your bralette off until jaemin stopped you.

"What are you doing?" He pulled your hand away from the strap.

"I wanna play with you."

Jaemin shook his head at your sad face and pulled your body closer to his so he could start getting you changed, "Its almost 3am and you're drunk." but you whined once he rejected you.

“So what? Im still giving you my consent anyway.” You said, smiling at him as he took your top off, quickly putting a shirt on to cover you up. He wondered how you could wear such a tight top without feeling uncomfortable.

“You're not giving me full consent, y/n. I’m not gonna take advantage of you.” He stepped away after dressing you. Jaemin had only put a shirt on you and just left you in your underwear since it seemed the most comfortable.

Jaemin changed too, only wearing sweatpants and no shirt because he was most comfortable that way himself, and crawled into bed with you. Somehow you found yourself already snuggled into his chest, breathing in his delicious cologne.

“Goodnight nana.” you mumbled into his chest.

“Goodnight princess,” jaemin hesitated for a second before speaking again, “nana loves you.”

You woke up to a painful headache and an empty bed. You knew where you were at least, but didn’t know how you got here. The last think you remembered was sitting with lucas, jeno and some other people playing a game of beer pong. That was probably when you got hammered, but why where you at jaemins house?

As much as you wanted to sit up and go find jaemin, your headache is what kept you in bed.

“Jaemin!!” You screamed, the sound of feet came running up the stairs.

“What is it? Are you okay? Do you need water? Medicine?” Question after question and jaemin seemed worried at your distressed state.

“Medicine and water would be nice actually.” You murmured and jaemin was already on his way to get what you needed.

Jaemin handed you two pills and a glass of ice water. You thanked him and took them, swallowing both the pills and the water at the same time.

“Do you need anything else?” His face still held concern and you almost wondered why he wasn’t mad at you like he had been for the past few days. Though you easily brushed it off as a sign that maybe he let you off the hook.

“No I’m good now.” You shook your head causing jaemin to sigh in relief and fall on the bed next to you. He gave you space, letting you cuddle and wrap yourself up in his blankets assuming that you were trying to find ways to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. And as much as he wanted to hold you, he was almost too scared to. It was funny really. Jaemin; the most out-going yet introverted person ever, was too scared to touch you right now.

Maybe it was his feelings getting the best of him or maybe he was too scared to finally fall in love with someone hes afraid of hurting in the end.

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violetnotez · 3 years

Text

Its Chirstmasssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!! I finished this up all last night, so I hope this is at least coherent!

This is for the BNHA Hangout Christmas Collab! Here is a link to future masterpost for the fics for the event!

｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

Shoto x reader | one shot

Word Count: 1.5k+

Warnings: cussing

Synposis: When Shoto realizes you’ve been particularly lonely without him during the holiday season, he decided to get you an extra special gift

the music collection | buy me a ko-fi! | requests open for haikyuu+jujutsu kaisen

｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

“Shoto-do you really have to go?”

You asked, a pout on your lips as you gazed at your boyfriend.

You were still cuddled up in your shared bed, the heat from Shoto’s skin already dissipating out of the sheets.

You pursed your lips, sitting up crossed leg as You watched him slide each button of his shirt sleeve into their slots, his washed, bi colored hair slightly wet from his shower.

“You know it’s not fair to look that good and then just leave,” you gave him a fake, stern look, earning a small smirk from the man.

He continued working up the shirt, looking sleek yet-well-delicious.

Shoto was just too handsomr for his own good-sharp jawline, perfect skin, piercing bi colored eyes, not to mention his amazing body….sometimes you had to wonder how you were able to get such a flawless man to end up with you.

He finished with his other sleeve, peeking a look at you as he slicked his hair back with his right hand, the strands mixing and framing his face perfectly,

why’d he have to look that good?

“It’s not as if I want to leave, dear-but I do have work,”

You cuddled deeper into the sweatshirt you were wearing, your hands dissappearing in the sleeves.

“But you’re always working-you cant take one day off?”

Shoto chuckled at your obvious neediness, making his way over to where you were sitting. He leaned across the bed to be in front of your sulking form, brushing a piece of your bed head from your face as he laid a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Evil doesn’t take a day off love,”

“Why do you always have to be so-so stoic all the time,” You giggled, playfully placing your hand on his chest and pushing him back.

Even though you and Shoto had been living together for over a year now, it never ceased to amaze you how much the man worked. After working at an agency after UA, Shoto had been incredibly busy-and being the #3 hero, you could see why. If it wasn’t a late night call, he was patrolling, interviewing sidekicks, training, teaching students on their hero studies, interviewing with magazines….he always had something to do.

You couldn’t get mad at him though-he had warned you in the beginning, but you were also accustomed to the hero life as well- well, somewhat.

You had gone to UA to be part of the hero suit course, and had become suit designer for the top heroes (hence how you met Shoto). You witnessed day in and day out how difficult it truly was to be a hero, even if you weren’t one yourself, so you didn’t mind when Todoroki was gone all the time. Yes, it got lonely at times, especially during the holiday season, but you made sure to keep a smile on for him.

“Don’t forget, I did take Christmas off,” Shoto gave you a small grin, his bicolored eyed searching to please you.

You smiled back, your heart thumping out of your chest as you poked him gently in the chest.

“After I asked you too,” you corrected, a teasing tone in your voice.

-And thank god too, I would have so lonely by myself,” you tried to chuckle at your remark, making the situation light.

Shoto knew you too well though-something about your voice didnt sound as happy and light as before. When you joked with him, your laughs were more cheerful and your smile was brighter-but something about you right now felt strange...as if you were holding something back from him.

Shoto’s grin turned into concern, his digits cupping your cheeks gently and guiding your eyes to look at his.

“Have you been feeling lonely lately?” He asked bluntly, your eyes growing wide.

Man-you couldn't hide anything from him.

You chuckled nervously, looking to the side, guilt beginning to fill your chest.

“I-I, no, it’s fine, really, I was only kidding,” you chuckled, your voice taking on a higher pitch.

“You don’t seem to be kidding,” Shoto bite the side of his lip, trying his best to make eye contact with you, “if you want to tell me something, you don’t have to be afraid.”

“Be afraid of the number three hero-“ You rolled your eyes playfully, a soft smirk on your lips, “-never.”

Shoto gave a small grin, worry still in his eyes. He knew something was strange about you lately, the way you seemed to be always craving for him. He hated to admit it, it boosted his ego somewhat to have you were so desperate for his touch- but he knew it wasnt healthy for you to be always missing him.

With him being a pro hero, he had quite alot more duties than most could imagine- which sadly left little for him to indulge in his own personal life. Shoto felt deeply lucky to have someone like you who understood his busy schedule, never batting an eye when he had to cancel yet another date or leave you by yourself on countless nights...but it still left a gnawing sensation of guilt sitting in his stomach.

“Im fine Shoto,” your voice broke into his thoughts, your tone gentle and sweet like a sun kissed cloud, “really.”

Shoto sighed, his thick lashes fanning his cheek. You were stubborn at times, especially when you wanted to reassure him-which only affirmed that you really werent feeling all that great as you said you were. But Shoto didnt want to push it any further- maybe you were really okay, and he was overthinking it….and he was going to be late if he didnt leave soon-

“Go kick some ass for me, kay?”

you gave him a wide smile, placing another quick kiss on his lips.

Shoto blinked a few times, a rush of adrenaline filling his body as he felt your skin against his. His lips tingled from the agonizingly quick touch-he took it upon him to give you a deeply intense kiss, the rush making you breathless.

Shoto pulled away, his eyes having the rarest glint of mischief as he stared back into yours

“Of course love,”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

“Ya ready Shoto?” You grinned, your body snuggled into your comfiest pair of pajamas and your fingers warmed by a hot cup of cocoa.

Christmas Day has finally came, and thankfully, Shoto kept his promise-he would be staying the whole day with you with no interruptions.

You were just so excited to finally have one day to selfishly love your boyfriend, and on a holiday too!

The room almost felt surreal-it was early morning, the Christmas tree you two decorated light up like a Star, class Christmas music playing in the background, homemade cookies littering the apartment in a sweet aroma and the room in a romantic warm haze of lights.

It just felt so unbelievable perfect and comfortable, Shoto looking sheepishly excited and nervous.

“I think you should go first,” you smiled up at him as he sat down next to you, black coffee snuggled into his hand (in a DynaMIGHT mug, of course gifted to him by the hero himself).

Shoto bit his lip, seemingly trying to hide a smile as he set his mug down on the coffee table.

“Not to be rude love,” he grinned, his hands gently grabbing a large box from under the tree. The paper was a shiny golden hue, snowflakes on the paper reflecting like glitter from the lights on the tree. He slide the box against the wooden floor, being strangely gentle with the contents.

“But my gift cant wait.”

Your eyebrows were knitted together, a confused grin on your lips.

The box was pretty big-what did he get you now?

Shoto never seemed to give you endlessly expensive gifts, having no concept of what was considered fancy or exorbitant- trips to places you could only dream of, hefty amounts of clothes and jewelry, merchandise from your favorite shows...hell you had to talk him out of buying you a car one time-this guy would drop anything to get you whatever you wanted.

And that made you guilty as hell whenever he did-so what did he give you this time around?

Your mind was racing as you looked at the box, trying to read whatever he was thinking about on his face.

“I swear to god Shoto if you bought me that expensive gaming system-“

He chuckled at your obviously guilty face, shaking his head as he smiled.

“No, no it’s nothing like that-“ he said, giving you a mischievous grin, “I think you’ll like it much better than that.”

You blinked a few times, your mind going completely blank.

What could be better than a PS5, Xbox, or Switch?

You looked down at the box, feeling strangely nervous as you obeyed Shoto’s wishes, slowly opening the top lid….until it rustles.

The box.

Moved on its own.

You squeaked out in surprise, your hands slamming the barely opened lid back down and looking at Shoto for help.

He had never seen you look so adorably confused in his life, a rosy hue on his cheeks as he looked at you with a loving expression.

“It’s okay,” he whispered reassuringly as he wrapped his hands nervously around yours.

You felt him guide your hands up, you both now lifting the lid off the large box.

Shoto took it and placed it gently on the ground, sitting back to watch you look into the box.

The box rustled again, your mind so utterly confused….what could make a box do that?

“Shoto I-“ you tried to ask, but all he did was nod to the box, signaling for you to just look.

You did as you were told, getting on your knees to peer inside…

A gasp left your lips, your heart beating out of your chest as you looked inside at the sweet little baby kitten playing with their bowl of yarn in the box.

“Hi baby,” you cooed in awe at the little baby, your hands scooping them out and snuggling them to your chest.

They were so soft and warm, their fur as white as a snowball with rosy pink paws.

“Oh my god-Shoto-you really didn’t- are they really-?” You were in such a state of shock, you couldn’t seem to form any coherent words as you looked at your sheepish boyfriend.

“I-I didn’t know exactly what to get you...but after seeing how much you missed me throughout the day, I thought it was fitting to get you a companion for when I’m gone,” he smiled, his digits nervously fidgeting in his lap as he waited for your approval.

You petted the little creature on your chest, it’s big doe eyes staring at you with such confusion you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Shoto…it’s perfect,” you smiled at your boyfriend, leaning in to plant him a kiss on his lips.

You giggled at his expression, clearly not expecting your show of affection as his cheeks turned a fiery red.

“I-I’m glad to here that,”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★

None of these characters or shows are my own, only the storylines and narratives I create are mine. Copying, stealing, plagiarizing, rewording, or using my storylines in other media, claiming to be your own, or reposting without my consent is not allowed.

#bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #shoto x reader #bnha shoto x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #bnha shoto todoroki x reader #mha shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #bnha todoroki x reader #mha todoroki x reader #shoto x reader fluff #shoto todoroki x reader fluff #todoroki x reader fluff

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hey-hey-chan · 4 years

Text

The Protagonist - Hyunjin

❀ Slice of life

❀ Warning: mentions of death & covid-19

❀ Word count: 8k

❀ When your best friend Ryujin cheats on her boyfriend who you’re also friends with, you’re stuck to pick up the pieces of their relationship. When Ryujin starts pushing you away and Hyunjin starts keeping you close, you wonder who was a better friend to you in the first place and uncover new feelings you never knew you had.

❀ A/N: i know i haven’t written in like a year?? but i suddenly had inspiration to write. Honestly, I felt the inspiration after I didn’t get picked job opportunity I really wanted (and thought I was going to get). I was put on the waitlist, but it still hurt my ego. But, I had some other good news and you can read on my blog about it, but I still wanted to write. I didn’t really have anything in mind, but I just let my words take me where it needed to be. Also, don’t get used to me writing, I won’t be writing often or at all. I’m not that into skz anymore LOL

------

Do you ever feel like you’re not the protagonist of your own story?

Yeah, that’s how I feel everyday.

Especially today.

“Ok, on the count of three, we reveal our statuses ... one... two..”

“And three!”

I tore open the letter from my dream college, Seoul University, probably giving myself a paper cut in the process.

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, I GOT IN! I got in y/n, holy shit!” I heard my friend’s words over the speaker, but I just couldn’t get the stupid envelope open.

“Fuck this.” I grabbed the scissors nearby and cut the damn thing open, revealing a thin piece of white paper.

I regret to inform you that you have been...

I felt tears well up in my eyes instantly at the words “regret” and “inform”, already knowing where the letter is taking me.

“Y/N?? What does it say?!”

I cleared my throat. “I didn’t get in...”

I cried harder, silently, when I heard her moans of agony. “No fucking way! You’re a WAY better student than I am! There’s something wrong.”

I shook my head. I was a good student, but I wasn’t the best personality. I was only in two clubs: acapella club and bagel club. Not good enough for the best university in our city.

“It’s ok. I have plenty more universities I applied to, I’ll be ok. I’m so, so happy for you though! I swear you’re gonna have so much fun!”

My stomach churned as I said those words. Did I really mean them? I didn’t feel happy in the moment.

“Ugh, I hate this... I really thought we would be roommates!”

I set the pristine piece of paper on my desk; I didn’t even want to look at it anymore.

“Don’t worry about it. This could even be a good thing! We’ll meet new people and just widen our group of friends. It’ll be awesome. Plus, I’m too weird for this clean cut college.” I joked.

That made her laugh. “You’re right, they couldn’t handle your personality. Anyways, I got to go to drama club right now, talk later? And again, I’m really sorry y/n.”

I pursed my lips. “Talk later, and don’t worry about me!” I ended the phone call and let the tears fall freely from my eyes.

I knew this would happen.

How could I compete with a chemistry major with a 4.0 GPA and the president of 2 clubs with a bombass personality? I was nothing compared to her.

I picked up the piece of paper and took one good look at it before crumpling it into a ball and throwing it. The soft thud barely made a sound which was anticlimactic. I was trying to have an angsty teen moment here??

Sometimes I felt like I was just a side character in a movie or a book. I was that girl who watched her best friend experience all these things in life and you just stand by them and cheer them on. They are the ones who have a mental breakdown and somehow end up with the love of their life at the end.

That was my best friend, Ryujin.

She was the one that every guy and girl fell for. Her charisma bounced off walls and even made me dizzy at times. And it wasn’t even like she was the “girly-girl” that we see in movies, no no no, tomboys are much trendier nowadays. She was confident around guys and wasn’t afraid to embarrass herself in front of anyone. I was insanely jealous of her sometimes which I would never admit.

She’s funny and adventurous, pretty and athletic: she is everything I ever wanted to be in a person.

She even had the hottest guy in the school as her boyfriend, Hwang Hyunjin.

I, on the other hand, was the opposite of her. I wasn’t overly awkward and uncomfortable to be around like the protagonists of some books. I wasn’t even cold and hostile like the mysterious girl in fanfiction.

No, I was just completely and utterly average.

I wasn’t “ugly” or whatever that means. You wouldn’t cringe away if you saw me, but the only guys I attract on the streets are the ones who might follow me home. I was friendly to people I met and was the queen of small talk. I was girlier than I wanted to be and try to put on makeup, but end up with botched eyebrows and nonexistent mascara-- that didn’t stop me from trying though.

I cringed at every horror movie, I hate sports, I love astrology, and the only close friends I have are girls.

Well, the only friend I truly have is Ryujin and all her friends became mine.

Any who, I was the girl that if a story was written about her, it’d be about 2 minutes long. I never had any big failures or big achievements. No family issues or tragic past. Nothing. I was a normal girl with a normal life.

And now one who wouldn’t even be going to college with her best friend who she depends on for her social life. Oh yeah, I was a burden too. Now she can’t even be fully happy because of me.

Great, just great.

I felt a buzz near the bottom of my foot. I sighed and kicked it towards me.

‘Ok i wasnt going to ask you this, but i just have to. did you know?’ -hyunjin

I squinted my eyes, re-reading the message to see if I got that correctly. What the heck is he talking about?

‘what are you talking about?’

‘are you being serious?’ -hyunjin

Ok, now this is just weird. I sat up in my bed, suddenly interested in this conversation.

‘im being serious. i have no clue what you’re talking about. care to inform me?’

I sent the text, realizing this is probably the longest conversation Hyunjin and I have had over text. We often hung out in person in groups, since he was Ryujin’s boyfriend and we did have the occasional deep conversation, but talking like this was new territory.

‘im 100% sure ryu would tell her best friend that she cheated’ -hyunjin

Wait. What did he just say?

Suddenly I was standing, pacing around the room.

‘ok, i’ve officially lost whatever ur talking about. what the hell are you saying? ryujin did not’ I typed in confidence, but realized I shouldn’t immediately attack the victim. I erased the message and called him.

He picked up almost instantly.

“What the hell did you just say?” I heard him shift around, probably in his bed.

“I said, I’m sure that Ryujin would tell you if she cheated-”

“Ok, that, stop right there. You’re saying Ryujin cheated on you?” I felt my head spin.

Ryujin can’t be a cheater. That’s impossible. And plus, she would’ve told me if something was wrong in her perfect relationship.

I heard a loud chuckle on his side. “Wow, you really don’t know do you.” I shook my head, but I realized he couldn’t see me.

“Um, I really don’t, so I would really love it if you explained.”

“What’s there to explain? She came to my house two days ago and told me she was cheating on me with Jeongin. Yang fucking Jeongin, who is, yes, a grade younger than us!”

I winced at his volume. Hyunjin was a lot of things, but he definitely wasn’t a liar. Neither was Ryujin which is why I had no idea what was going on.

“You have anything to say?” He asked. But I was in complete shock.

“Well, um... I’m gonna talk to her about this. Bye, Hyunjin.” I hung up the phone and tossed it on the side of my bed despite his muffled talking.

What the fuck is going on?

-------

“I’m asking you a simple question, did you or did you not cheat on Hyunjin?”

After Ryujin came home from drama club, I was already there waiting at her door. She gave me a weird look since we live a good 20 minute walk away from each other, but yes, this conversation was worth the exercise.

“Excuse me, what did you just say?” She asked with a sassy tone, but I had no time for this bullshit.

“Did you cheat on Hyunjin? God Ryu, just answer the question!” I felt my face turning red and I knew I was losing my temper. I had no idea why I was so upset, but I just was.

I saw her features contort, and I knew I was going to hear the truth.

“Ok, yeah, yeah I did.”

My heart dropped.

We didn’t say anything to each other for a couple of seconds. It was like we were both taunting each other, which she doesn’t have the right to do in this moment.

“Are you serious? Why?” I asked incredulously.

She didn’t say anything yet walked passed me and straight to her door.

“Hey, what the hell?”

“Y/N, I cheated on him, what else is there to say? It’s done, it happened!” I almost flinched at her tone. It was bitter and angry and it was a tone I was used to with her.

“What the fuck? Ryu, why wouldn’t you tell me? And this is breaking Hyunjin’s heart-”

“You know what? I don’t have to tell you everything about my relationship! It has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t even matter, ok? I just don’t wanna talk about it.”

I stood silently, wondering who was this person in front of me.

“Fine, I’ll leave then.”

As I walked back to my house, I couldn’t help but feel like I was stuck in the protagonist’s drama once again.

-----

It was almost 1am when I got back home. Thankfully, my parents were asleep and thought I was staying the night at Ryujin’s like I told them. I snuck in the house and collapsed on my bed. This was too much emotion for one day.

I peered down at my phone and saw the light illuminate the room.

‘So. is your world shattered like mine?’ -hyunjin

I bit my lip. Was it weird to text my best friend’s ex-boyfriend like this? Technically, we were somewhat of friends too. So I’m not breaking any rules.

‘this is fucked up. im rly sorry man, she really didn’t tell me.’ I brushed my hands through my hair and felt the sweat sticking to it. I had walked back in the spring heat, it was too much.

‘Damn, I didn’t think she would pull something like that and not even tell YOU. that’s cold.’

‘tell me about it. we were just fine earlier today, dont know whats goin on with her.’ I hesitated before typing the next part. ‘also, i know we arent the closest and ik im also ryu’s friend, but im here for you bro. this is a messed up situation’

‘Thanks, that means a lot... most of my friends are making fun of me for getting cheated on... with a JUNIOR. disgusting.’

I snorted. ‘technically, if ryujin didn’t skip a grade, she’d be a junior too.’

‘y/n, pls don’t ruin this moment’

‘fine, fine, disgusting, she cheated on u with a junior. plus ur friends are felix and jisung who are also complete insensitive dickheads sometimes’

‘Thank you.’

I laughed. Hyunjin was always an interesting guy to hang out with. Sure we never texted or talked much, but he was always a joy to have around. He was quiet in school, but he was animated around his friends. And of course, an awesome boyfriend to Ryujin.

Seeing them together made me more aware of my singleness. He would open doors for her, give her his jacket when she was cold, pay for her meals, he even knew how to braid hair, like what the fuck? He was perfect.

And then she cheated on him.

And didn’t even tell me.

I rubbed my forehead. I was always a fixer. I fixed other people’s problems, which made me quite involved in their issues even if I shouldn’t be.

‘but seriously though, im rly sorry this happened to you...’

‘yeah ... a year down the drain. and plus, i got accepted to Seoul University with her today.’ My heart sank, even when I knew it shouldn’t.

Hyunjin was a smart guy, maybe a little too studious for his own good. He had lots of fun in high school, but made sure to go home early to events and not drink if he had a test the next day. He spent hours at the library at times and read in his free time, like me. Ryujin always hated it and thought we were too similar at times. Which is untrue because Hyunjin was way cooler than me.

‘If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t get accepted’

‘That actually did not make me feel better and made me even sadder because what the fuck?? you’re an amazing student!’

That made me smile of course, the valedictorian was complimenting my intellect.

‘aha thanks, i’ll probably end up going to incheon uni which isn’t too far from here so i’ll be ok’

‘That’s good, maybe i should consider going since half the senior class is going to seoul lol’

I scoffed. “hyunjin, don’t give up your dream uni just because ryujin will be there. you probably wont see her as often as u think’

‘If I decided not to go there, it won’t be because of Ryujin. But seriously, I rarely try anything new and i feel like i’m confined to a small group of people. At least at Incheon, I’ll know less people.”

I sighed loudly. Oh Hyunjin, it must suck to get a mental breakdown right before going to college. It happens to the best of us though.

‘well ok, where ever you go, i’ll know you’ll thrive!!’

‘:) thanks y/n. also, ik we dont talk much, but i really do appreciate you.’

Well, that warmed my heart... and my cheeks.

The fact that I was texting my friend’s ex boyfriend snapped me back into reality. And the fact that she cheated on him.

I gulped.

‘aw thanks hyunjin, i appreciate you too. Now get some sleep! it’s almost 2am’

I didn’t get a response back, and I hoped he fell asleep. I changed into my pajamas and did my nightly routine and fell asleep to thoughts of my friend’s ex-boyfriend.

------

I woke up to several buzzes that tickled my side. I grunted and threw the blanket off of me. I found my phone that was flung somewhere and picked it up. I turned off the notifications to stop the constant moving.

“It’s too freaking early for this.” I moaned.

I rubbed my eyes and peered down at the message.

‘hey im sorrrryyy for lashing out yesterday. i just feel guilty about the whole thing and i was afraid to tell you... also i think im in love with jeongin’ -ryujin

My eyes naturally widened at this confession.

Love? Ryujin dated Hyunjin for a whole year! How could she fall in love with Jeongin so easily??

‘excuse me?? what the fuck did you just say cuz i think u just said u LOVE jeongin??’

‘stfu. just hear me out, he’s a great guy and he’s just... normal’ -ryujin

Ok, time to call this bitch.

“Define normal?” I heard her sigh and adjust in her bed. She’s always been an early riser.

“Just, when I was dating Hyunjin, it felt like it had to be this perfect relationship. We were all friends before and it just seemed right that we dated. He was super nice and perfect and not to mention, hot, but it just felt superficial. I don’t know.”

Well this was new. Ryujin never told me much about the problems in their relationship and I thought everything was going well. Well, until now.

“I mean, I get that, you shouldn’t have to date anyone you don’t like. But, you should’ve broken up with him before!”

“You think I don’t know that? I made a mistake, ok? Can you just get off my back about it?”

There’s that temper again.

“Are you serious? You’re the one who texted ME in the morning.”

“I’m just, whatever.” She paused in between her words. “You just wouldn’t understand ‘cause you’ve never been in a relationship! I just can’t describe it, ok?” And on that note, I just hung up the phone. I was in no mood to play these games with her emotional roller coasters.

I bit my lip, knowing she would probably call me more times for hanging up on her, but I wasn’t in the mood. I was caught in between two of my friends, and I knew who was in the right and who was treating me better.

I saw my phone light up a few more times, which made me curious as to what she was sending me.

‘Hey, do you wanna have breakfast with me this morning?’ -hyunjin

I raised a brow. This was not the message I was expecting.

‘only if you’re paying’

‘deal’

-----

Soft r&b played from the speakers as I sipped from my small cup of apple juice, yes, I still drink apple juice.

“So, how are you feeling?” I finally asked the boy.

He was wearing a black tshirt and jeans and his hair was messier than usual. I could tell he wasn’t getting lots of sleep.

“As good as I can be.” He shuffled around in his chair like he had more to say. “Just, it’s still crazy to me. Getting cheated on... it’s a whole new feeling.”

I nodded, but I couldn’t relate to it.

“Yeah...” I trailed off, not really knowing what to say or how to cheer him up.

We locked eyes suddenly and I grew shy. Hyunjin was always hot in my eyes, even though I pretended he wasn’t, for my friend’s sake. And for mine.

“What did she say when you talked to her?”

I laughed. “She totally flipped on me and told me to leave. I have no idea what’s going on with her right now. She’s lashing out for no reason.” I confessed.

“Yeah, she’s acting more temperamental lately. She always had a temper but this time... this time it’s out of control.”

I nodded, understanding what he was talking about. Ryujin was a feisty girl with lots of emotions. I respect her for being in tune with her emotions, but sometimes her actions go too far. Most guys thought it was hot though.

“Anyways, I don’t want to talk about her anymore. What about you? Any relationship problems?”

I forced a small smile. “Nope, all the guys that were ‘into me’ were trying to use me to get to her.”

Hyunjin took a bite out of his sandwich and shook his head. “Stone cold Slytherin.” I laughed at that one.

“Stone cold Slytherin indeed.”

“You know, Ryu has never watched any of the Harry Potter movies?? Which is crazy because I swear the first time we talked to each other it was about what Hogwarts house we would be in.”

I nodded slowly. “Yes, yes I do know that my best friend has never watched the movies. And it pains me everyday.” He rolled his eyes at my teasing tone. “Also, I think that’s because you guys met in Mrs. Park’s English class which I also happened to be in. Remember, we all were friends first?”

I thought back to those days, those simpler times. Hyunjin and Ryujin only dated for a year, but they’d known each other since our first year of high school. We were all somewhat of friends, more like acquaintances. But one day, their friendship just went to the next level.

Hyunjin nodded his head slowly. “Yeah, you’re right. Ryujin isn’t as nerdy as you.” I scoffed, knowing that was not true. I was the dumbest in the friend group.

“Alright, whatever you say.” I was out of witty banter.

We called for the check and walked slowly to his car. For a moment, we just seemed like two friends. Two kids from school who were eating breakfast together.

But we weren’t really. I was his ex-girlfriend’s best friend. And he was the guy my best friend cheated on.

And we were both losing a person who was ignoring us.

“This is me. See you sometime?” His expression was hard to read and I didn’t know if he was saying this just to be kind or if he actually meant it. Either way, I didn’t care.

“Sure. See you.” I waved at him awkwardly and he gave me a small wave back.

-------

A few weeks went by and soon, Ryujin and I were back to normal. I still texted Hyunjin quite often, but Ryujin didn’t know that. It’s not like I was lying to her, but I didn’t feel like she needed to know. It’s not like we were going behind her back and doing anything. He just needed a friend, and so did I.

The whole world was on lockdown and school got shut down early. Everyone was locked in their homes and told to keep a distance from each other in public. My electricity bill was off the charts and I was living off of Netflix for entertainment. Sometimes Ryujin came over, but she was the only one I really saw. She was an only child, so I pitied her.

“Ok, this one or this one?” She held up two outfits that were completely different. One was a dark green shirt that tied in the front and sparkly paired with black jeans that flared slightly at the bottom. The other was a pink blouse with flowers paired with a blue denim skirt.

I looked up from my phone and sat up on the ground.

“That dark green one, it compliments your skin tone and the jeans are cute.” She nodded and tossed the other on her bed.

“Great, Jeongin will love this.”

“Are you sure he understands fashion? He’s like 12.” I felt a pillow hit me face in an instant, but the comment was worth it. The age jokes never got old.

“Shut up! He’s the same age as me, only a grade younger. You know because I skipped a grade.” She bragged. I rolled my eyes and went back to playing on my phone.

“Okay~ Whatever you say. I’m just saying, your boobies hanging out might confuse him-”

She gave me a glare to shut me up from finishing. I shrugged and looked down at my phone.

“Should you even be hanging out with him? We aren’t supposed to hang out with people during this time.”

Ryujin snorted. “It’s my boyfriend, am I supposed to ignore him? I’d rather die.” I rolled my eyes are her insensitive statement. “Plus, aren’t we hanging out right now? You’re not my family.” Ouch, I’d always considered Ryujin family, but I guess she didn’t feel the same.

“That’s different. We’re best friends and I consider you my sister, since you don’t have one.” I spat. She narrowed her eyes at me and I saw the wheels turning in her head to clap back.

“Whatever, these rules are impossible."

I stayed quiet for a little bit, but I had so much to say.

“What? If you have something to say, spit it out.” Wow, was her aggressive tone always this annoying?

I threw up my hands in aggravation. “Fine, I just think you’re moving on too fast from Hyunjin. You just broke up with him-”

“I cheated on him.”

“Ok, you cheated on him. Shouldn’t you wait a little longer to get into a relationship? It’s ... It’s sort of cruel.”

She narrowed her eyes at me but her eyes softened.

“Look, what happened happened already. He knows I have feelings for someone else. I have to live for myself, ok? I’ll see you later.”

She left the room and I knew that was my queue to leave her house.

I picked up my phone and checked my messages before I left. I only had one, how popular of me.

‘what are you doing right now?’ -hyunjin

I furrowed my brows. His timing was impeccable.

‘um... nothing now. why?’

‘can you meet up rn?’

My eyebrows rose in surprise. Mr. Rule Follower wants to break the rules of quarantine? Interesting.

‘... we aren’t supposed to hang out unnecessarily right now.’ I reminded him, just in case he forgot.

I stood from Ryujin’s floor and started to look for my car keys. The perks of being the youngest sibling is that I was given my older brother’s car when he went off to college. Sadly, he’s back, but we share the car.

‘my mom is sick. shes getting tested today’

I froze.

You never expect those words to come out of your friend’s mouth.

‘where r u?’

------

I got in my car and booked it. It’s like I was moving faster than I could think.

Hyunjin’s parents were divorced and he lived with his father, so I knew he was safe to be around. But still, he saw his mom during the summers and occasionally throughout the year. They were close.

I drove up to his house and saw him sitting there with his head buried in his arms.

“Shit.”

I parked on the side of the road and ran out as soon as I could. He jolted up when he heard the slam of my car.

“y/n-”

I grabbed him and immediately pulled him into a hug. I wasn’t sure why I did it, but it felt right.

“It’s ok, it’s going to be ok.” I said before I could think. I wasn’t sure she was going to be ok, or if he was going to be ok, but he didn’t need to know that.

I felt him shake as tears he sobbed into my shoulder.

“She’s so old, y/n. I’m so scared. I hope she doesn’t have it. I fucking hope so bad.” I squeezed him tighter. Tears fell slowly from my eyes as I felt his pain.

“I’m sorry. We’ll be ok. It’ll be ok.” I rubbed his back soothingly and sat on the steps with him when he calmed down.

“I’m sorry for being such an emotional mess right now, I hope you weren’t anywhere important when I texted you. Honestly, I called Ryujin first but she didn’t pick up.” He mumbled the last part.

I frowned, but realized why she didn’t pick up.

“You look guilty, why?”

I thought about lying to him, but what was the use?

“I was actually at her house when you texted me... she was getting ready to go on a date with Jeongin.” I admit.

I saw his face contort and he let out a few strangled cries. I pulled him closer to me and felt his head on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I told her not to go.”

“Why? We broke up already. She made her choice.”

He took a small glance at him. His face was red and puffy; his sleep schedule was also not getting better. I knew that because we always texted at 1am.

“I know my opinion doesn’t matter, but I think she made the wrong one.”

He turned to face me and we locked eyes.

Usually with other guys, I’m skittish and sometimes awkward. I wanted to get away from them as soon as I could. But with Hyunjin, I felt at peace. I felt comfortable with him, safe even.

The boy gave me a small smile and patted me on the back. He rested his head on my shoulder again.

“Your opinion always matters, and thank you. For everything.”

“It’s not a problem.” I pet his head like I’ve seen in movies. I don’t think I’ve ever comforted a guy besides my brother. And my brother did not like to get his hair pet.

I guess Hyunjin didn’t either when he shot up. I gave him a startled look.

“What-”

“It is a problem. Why do you run to everyone who needs help, y/n?”

I froze in my spot, not knowing what to say.

“Um, I don’t know. I guess I’m just good at helping people. I like comforting people. I like making people happy.” I tried to cheer him up. I did not want him to feel like he was a burden.

Hyunjin moved out of my grasp and faced me.

“Doesn’t it get tiring though? I’ve never seen you get sad about something. And you got rejected from your dream college that we’ve been talking about for years. Still, nothing.”

I laughed and looked away. This conversation was getting too focused on me and I wanted to shift the topic immediately.

“Um, well of course I get sad. It’s just I deal with my emotions better when I’m alone. I don’t mind people seeing me sad I just want alone time when I’m upset.” That was a good answer.

He wasn’t buying it though.

A calming silence washed over us for a short moment. He kicked a small rock to the side and it trickled down the steps.

“Why do I feel like that’s a cop out answer?”

I was about to give him a snarky response, but I saw the pain in his eyes. He wanted to be distracted from his pain and wanted to focus on me.

“Do you ever feel like you’re just a side character of someone else’s story?” I blurt out. Immediately, I felt like I shared too much about myself, but I couldn’t take it back.

His silence made me anxious. So anxious.

I started to shake my leg, a nervous habit I had. Suddenly, he placed a gentle hand on my leg to stop it from shaking.

“Bad habit. Also, I guess I haven’t before. Because we are actually the protagonists of our own story. Even you.” He peered deeply into my eyes to get his point across. I gave him a weak smile because I knew he wanted to cheer me up. But I didn’t need cheering up, I accepted that I wasn’t protagonist material. I accepted it a long time ago.

But he didn’t need to know that.

“You’re right. I’m being silly.”

“Oh c’mon, y/n. You’re not being silly. You’re an amazing person. Total main character material!” I raised my brow but said nothing. He knocked gently on my head. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

So many things were going through my head. Including the fact that if I were main character material, I wouldn’t be sitting here with him right now. I’d be on some date with a cute guy. And then the whole situation would blow up in my face. And I would learn from it. And everyone would forgive me except maybe one or two people, but I would be ok with that because I learned from my mistakes and am a better person.

But that’s not me. I don’t make mistakes. I pick up the pieces of those who make mistakes. I fix them. I heal them. I’m the one who makes the main character realize they’re a shitty person.

“Too many things, Hyunjin. Too many things.” I whispered.

We said nothing for a while until he wrapped his arms around me.

“I hope your mom is ok.” I quietly said as I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I hope so too. And I hope you realize your worth one day.”

------

‘she’s not sick!! the tests came back negative!! WOOO! party at my house... ok virutal party lol’ -hyunjin

I cheered alone in my room. The test results came back pretty quickly yet it seemed like forever ago when Hyunjin cried in my arms. And we ended up spending the whole day together after I vented my feelings to him. But that’s besides the point.

‘that’s awesome bro!!!! im so happy !!!!!!’

‘:) Thanks for being the best friend i have right now lol’ -hyunjin

I paused at the words ‘best friend’. I knew he didn’t mean best friend, but it still made me smile.

Honestly, it was pretty cool being friends with Hyunjin and I wished that we were closer friends sooner. I guess I didn’t want to get too close in case him and Ryujin broke up. I didn’t know I’d be comforting him and not her.

‘ofc. u deserve happiness hyunjin’

He didn’t respond for a couple of minutes which concerned me. He would usually tell me if he was busy, but he just left suddenly.

I tried not to think much about it so I set my phone on my table. I kept peering down at my phone every few minutes, but still nothing.

I pulled out a good book and started to read a few pages.

“y/n! I think your friend is here.”

I furrowed my brows and closed my book with a pink bookmark keeping my page.

“Friend? Didn’t know Ryujin was coming over.” I whispered. “Ok dad, I’ll be there!” I threw off blanket and opened the door. I shuffled to the front door and opened it. I ignored my dad’s weird looks as he made his way back to his room.

Once I opened the door, I saw not Ryujin, but Hyunjin.

His face was bright and I couldn’t help but smile back. His happiness was contagious, which is why he was so well-liked.

He finally fixed his hair that was getting long due to the quarantine, but it suit him. He wore gray shorts with a sweater on top.

I was suddenly aware of the gray shorts I had on.

“Hey, we’re matching.” I said lamely. He laughed with his eye smile which was his best look. “What are you doing here?”

“Wow, I’m hurt, no hello Hyunjin, I hear you come bearing good news.”

I laughed. “You texted me said good news.”

“I know, but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out right now...?” I crossed my arms and leaned against the door.

“Hyunjin, we aren’t supposed-”

“I know, I know, but I’m bored! I’m an only child too you know and I only live with my dad who hasn’t gone anywhere. And neither have I unless to see you. I know you follow the rules, so you’ve probably only seen Ryujin besides your immediate family.”

I hesitated, wondering if it was the right thing to do. My heart was saying yes, but my brain wasn’t sure.

“Just go, honey. Just be safe.” My dad’s voice boomed. I looked back and saw him giving a thumbs up.

“Really dad?” He nodded.

“Yes, but sure not to come in contact with any other people.”

I held my pinky up, and I noticed Hyunjin was holding his up too.

“Promise.”

------

The roads were so empty.

“You make me! Feel like I’m living a, TEENAGE DREAM!”

Hyunjin and I bumped to Katy Perry bops as we drove through a deserted city.

“Don’t ever look back! Don’t ever look back~”

“My heart stops!! When you look at me!” I sang.

“Just one touch, now baby I believe~” He playfully poked me.

“This! Is! Real! So take a chance and don’t ever look back~” I finished.

He turned down the volume as we reached our destination.

An empty parking lot.

“Aw, how romantic.” I joked.

“Sorry, not much places were open.” He gave me a small smile as he parked the car and rolled down the windows. We didn’t get out in case other people were around.

I unbuckled my seat belt and turned to him. He was already staring at me.

“I’m really, really happy about your mom,” I said finally. He smiled, I had never seen him this happy for almost a month now, ever since Ryujin cheated on him.

“Thank you. Also, thank you for being there when I needed you.”

I thought back to a few days ago when he was sobbing in my arms. I felt my heart shatter for him. I loved his mom too, she was always around when we were at school and was just a ball of light.

“It’s no problem.”

"Right, because you’re ‘a side character’.” He used quotation marks with his fingers to get the point across.

I rolled my eyes and pushed him. “Stop! It’s true though.”

He looked at me again, his eyes saying “explain”.

“Stop giving me that look. It’s completely obvious.”

“Tell me again, how is this obvious? Because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but all of your thoughts are yours. You see things from YOUR eyes, your point of view, and whatever. Your life is your life; no one else is the main character y/n.”

I hated when he said my name so much. It reminded me too much of myself. I always made sure to use people’s names in sentences to show that I knew their name and to make them feel special. I knew what he was trying to do. I hated that it was working.

“Look, if I was the main character of my own story, then why would my only purpose right now to be helping yours and Ryujin’s?”

He flinched at my words.

“What?”

I sighed, feeling uncomfortable again when the topic was focused on me.

“You know what I mean. For months now, it feels like all I do is to help Ryujin’s character development. And maybe even yours. She’s the one who makes shitty decisions, I’m the one who fixes them for her. She says stupid things, and I’m the one who makes her apologize. She even gets accepted into Seoul University, leaving me behind. I just feel like everyone is accelerating and changing while I’m static! I’m the same as I was in freshman year, sophomore, junior and now senior. I’m the same person!”

Hyunjin stayed silent while I ranted. My chest rose and fell from my heavy breathing and my cheeks were dusted with pink.

“Also, if I wasn’t a side character, would I be here, hanging out with you, to help you get over my best friend cheating on you?”

He had no response for my words. And I knew he wouldn’t because he knew I was right. I was the push to get them back together. I was probably going to get a text or a call sometime by Ryujin while she begs for them to get back together. Or to ask me to fix this whole situation.

I was right.

“You really think I ask you to hang out so much because I want your help to get over Ryujin?”

His accusing tone shocked me, and it made me nervous.

I tried not to focus on the police cars passing by and calmed my nerves.

“Um... yeah, why...”

He wasn’t looking at me initially, like he was focusing on something outside of the car.

“Y/N, I ask you to hang out so much because I like hanging out with you.” He confessed.

At my lack of words, he kept going and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Just... this is hard to say... but I-I feel like I made a mistake dating Ryujin.” He blurted. This definitely got my attention.

“What??”

“Please let me finish.” The desperation in his eyes lulled me to listen.

“We were a good couple at first, but the chemistry wasn’t there. We never clicked. We didn’t talk about the same things and we could never have a deep conversation. Everything we talked about was so surface level or about her problems. She was fun to be with and a great girl while it lasted, but it wasn’t like when we hung out, even when I was still dating Ryu, we got along better.

We could talk about conspiracy theories and weird things in history like it was normal! You were always the first one I talked to when I read a new book or if I learned a cool fact. I could never do that with her and I hate that I just realized it after we broke up. And when I started to hang out with you.

It was always you all long, y/n. It was always you.”

What on earth was going on right now? This isn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to fix this relationship-

“Ok, I see you’re kind of freaking out. And it’s freaking me out, please say something.”

My leg wasn’t even shaking, that’s how numb I was at this conversation.

“I-” my voice trailed off, like I couldn’t get the words out.

“I have a lot to think about. I’m sorry, I can’t... I-” Tears filled my eyes. I didn’t know what was going on. This stuff never happened to me. Am I supposed to give an answer right away? That’s impossible! I need to talk to Ryujin first and maybe my brother and then just ignore the whole situation.

“It’s fine, take as long as you need.”

The drive back was silent, contrary to what it was before. I regret not taking my own car. I regret even hanging out with him in the first place.

As soon as we got to my house, I got out.

“Thanks for the ride.” I mumbled, because I still had manners.

“Hey y/n.”

I paused and turned around, mortified of what he was to say next.

“I meant everything I said when I said it has always been you. I think.. I think if you think about our memories together, you’ll see that.

I just.. I just needed you to know that.”

I nodded slowly, unsure of what to say.

Then he was gone.

-------

My first reaction was to eat my pain away, but I couldn’t even finish my banana.

Ryujin would never forgive me for dating her ex boyfriend right? That’s girl code 101. Even if she did cheat on him. Or does that cancel out if she cheated?

I downed a cup of water in anger.

“Woah, slow down there, you don’t want to drown yourself.” I slammed the cup down and glared at my older brother.

“Chan, please. I’m not in the mood right now.” I tried stomping away from him, but he kept talking. Like always.

“Uh oh, is it because of your boy? I can beat him up if you want.” I felt my cheeks turn red.

“No! Don’t beat him up. And he’s not my boy. He’s Ryujin’s.” I muttered.

“Wooo what? That’s a plot twist! Dad said he was completely smitten with you though. And Dad’s usually never wrong about boys and their feelings. He’s a therapist you know-”

“I know who my father is, thank you very much! And, ugh, God, I can’t even.” I couldn’t even make it to my room before I collapsed on the floor.

In the blink of an eye, Chan was sitting next to me. “Woah there, okay, this is some teenage angst I don’t know how to deal with anymore.”

Anger rushed through my body at his words. And I’m not sure why.

“Shut up! I don’t have teen angst! I don’t have any problems, ok? Just Ryujin cheated on this guy. And now I don’t know what to do!”

Chan was silent for a moment, unusual for a person like him.

“What? What do you mean what do you do?”

“I mean, how do I fix it?”

Chan laughed. “Fix what?”

“Fix their problems, are you not understanding what is going on here?”

Chan stood up, then picked me up. I would usually struggle but he plopped my on the couch, so I was ok with him... for now.

“Y/n, it isn’t your job to fix other people’s problems. How about you focus on your own right now?”

I peered down at my hands, embarrass to tell him what was going on in my life. I felt like such a trader. I helped my friend her whole life and suddenly, I was catching feels for her ex-boyfriend.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I got cut off my a buzz in my pocket. Then I got like 10 more. I pulled my phone out and saw the texts from Ryujin.

‘i think i made a mistake’

‘i dont like jeongin that much anymore’

‘hes not a gentleman like hyunjin!! he doesnt even pull out my chair when i sit or open doors for me. plus jeongin is lowkey childish and he is always pulling pranks on me!’

‘tell me what 2 do?? how do i fix this?!!??!!?’

‘also my parents are fighting again and it’s sooooo irritating !!!!’

‘sos 911 aaahhhh’

“Who is it? What do they say?” Chan asked curiously. I shoved him away from reading my phone.

“They’re from Ryujin. She’s already regretting dating Jeongin. The guy she cheated with Hyunjin on.” I wasn’t sure the sentence made sense, but Chan would understand.

Chan’s eyes widened. “Damn, dick move.” I gritted my teeth.

“And now, she misses Hyunjin. She says Jeongin doesn’t compare to Hyunjin who is nice and a gentleman. And her parents are fighting again. I got to go help.” I stood up to grab my keys, but Chan stopped me.

“Tell me why you were upset earlier.”

His stern voice shook me.

“Y/n, tell me.”

Suddenly, my tears were unable to hide and fell freely onto my cheeks. Chan’s face didn’t soften, but he let go of my arm.

“Tell-”

“Fine! Hyunjin told me he liked me. And that he regretted ever dating Ryujin.”

I fell down on the couch while Chan held me close. He pet my head, like I did to Hyunjin earlier. I guess that was a good comforting tactic.

“And now, Ryujin wants him back. What am I supposed to do?” I whispered.

“Do you like him back?”

I paused.

Did I like him back? I wasn’t sure...

Chan patted my back and stood. “I’m gonna make us some lunch, sit here and think about it. And don’t you dare think about responding to those texts.”

Hwang Hyunjin.

We’ve been in school together since we were kids. We saw each other grow up. We were never close, but we wouldn’t be awkward if we were paired together in a project.

He was always nice to me. He would remember my name contrary to all the boys in our grade. I faded into the background, especially when I became friends with Ryujin in the sixth grade.

We were in acapella together and we were always in the same friend groups, especially when Ryujin and Hyunjin got closer.

Everyone would yell and shout at us if we started talking about a book we just read or conspiracy theory we saw online. Or when we were both contemplating being vegan when we saw a deer get hit by a truck.

He was the one who encouraged me to wear makeup even if Ryujin told me I was shit at it. He was the one who told me I could join acapella even if I was too shy to be on stage, because he was too. He was the one who dressed up as Harry Potter characters with me when no one else wanted to. He was the one I went to when I wanted to talk about the things I loved most.

He was the one... He was the one all along.

“Oh my god. It’s always been Hyunjin. Oh my god.”

Chan set down a crappy sandwich in front of me, but I was on a mission.

“You figure it out?”

“Yes, yes I did! But what do I tell Ryujin?”

Chan scoffed. “What do you tell Ryujin? She’s the one who cheated on him. And she’s always been a crappy friend to you.” I frowned. Ryujin wasn’t the best friend, but she was my best friend...

“If she’s truly your best friend, she’ll forgive you for this. So go, go get your manz.” I cringed at his language. He was not as young as he thought.

Then, I realized something.

I looked at Chan who was just sitting on the couch, cheering me on.

“Oh my god, you’re a side character in my story.”

The made him pause before he took a bit. “Uh, ok? Aren’t we all each other’s side characters? The protag will always be ourselves, dork. Now go!”

I ran out the door and checked my phone. Those can be dealt with later. Or right now. I’m not sure. Maybe at the same time.

I jumped in my car and called Ryujin and put her on speaker.

“Hello? Y/n?? Where have you been, I texted you like 20 minutes ago! I said SOS!”

“Am I your best friend?”

“W-what? Where is this coming from? Yes, of course you are-”

“Then you’ll forgive me for anything right?”

She paused.

“Maybe. I’m not sure, you’ve never really done anything wrong.”

I gulped. You can’t back down now.

“Is everything ok, y/n?”

“I have something to tell you. And you’re going to hate me for it.”

“What?”

There was silence.

“What, y/n, seriously-”

“I have feelings for Hyunjin!” I shouted.

Dead silence. I could hear the few cars driving in my neighborhood and kids laughing outside. The silence was terrifying.

“You what?”

“I have feelings for Hyunjin. Your ex-boyfriend.”

I heard shuffling on the other side.

“Y-you can’t. He’s my ex-boyfriend. That’s breaking girl code, and I am not over him. What the hell, y/n?”

I felt tears fall from my eyes. This is not how I wanted this to go. But this is what I expected.

“I’m sorry. But my whole life, I have been living for you. Ever since I met you. And this time, I have to do things for myself. I’m sorry but I- I want to be selfish and I want to make mistakes that you’re gonna have to decide if you forgive me for.

I want to be the main character of my story right now.”

“Y/n, wait-”

I hung up the phone. I couldn’t let her get in the way of me living for me. Even if it was selfish and bitchy. I need to make mistakes to grow. And I haven’t made many ground breaking mistakes in the past, but this one feels pretty good.

I parked outside of Hyunjin’s house and ran up the steps.

Before I could knock on my door, it opened revealing a disheveled Hyunjin.

“You came.”

I was shocked at his sudden appearance, but nodded.

“I did, um, how did you get to the door so quickly?”

“I was waiting.” A cute blush danced across his face.

How have I not seen him before? For how I truly feel about him?

For a minute, we didn’t know what to say.

“I-”

We laughed.

“You first,” he said.

I cleared my throat.

“Hyunjin, um, I’m not very good at speeches to declare my feelings. Most likely because I’ve suppressed them over the years and haven’t shown them to anybody.

I’m dumb and stupid and now I’m selfish because I don’t care what anyone thinks right now because I realized that I am falling in love with you.”

His eyes grew to the size of his hand at my words.

“What?”

I laughed nervously.

“Um, I was .. I was talking to my brother. And I just realized that every moment in my life that I was insecure or unsure of something, you helped me through it. And when I just wanted to talk about something nerdy like a book or a poem that made me cry, I wanted to talk to you.

It really has been you all along.” I whispered the last sentence, but I knew he heard it.

He took my hands and wrapped them around his waist.

“I’m falling in love with you too. I think I always have been a little, which sounds fucking up since I dated Ryujin. But I think we both knew we weren’t right for each other.”

I nodded, feeling safe in his embrace.

Then, I felt him hold my face and bent down to kiss me. His lips were soft and it felt like he was hesitant. Before I lost the courage, I pulled him closer. I could feel his smile across my lips.

He made my heart flutter like I was reading a cute romance novel.

Except I was in the romance novel now.

And I was the protagonist.

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cannibaldeerdoe · 3 years

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The tango

He stood there, Shock and awe as he stared down the barrel of a gun. What fucking guts this man had. He had been fooling around with a married man, thinking that was the worst this fling was going to get. Yet, as he was invited over he found himself with a gun to his head as he stepped out of the shower. Now here he was watching the big beef cake in his boxers laying on the bed while his wife stood between them. Jori ran fingers through his thick, wet hair and pushed back his bangs before putting his hands up. He was a skinny thin built man, there was no way he was meant to deal with a gun to his head. Only down side was now he stood naked in front of his wife.

Lucas had been eager to get things started, what started as usual was his wife said she would be gone for the weekend. Things always escalated quick, first there was the text, then there was heated make out sessions at the front door. A trail of clothes being laid this way and that as they made their way through the kitchen and living room and down the hall to his bedroom.

The bed was freshly made, navy blue and he laid there in his white boxers. Scruffy beard being played with as the other man played with the curly wired hair.

He had kissed him softly, stating he would go get ready and to be prepared. By the time he had relaxed into the bed as the other hopped into the shower he looked up. His wife was there.

His wife was there!

She was there. Sandra had a pink skirt on with high string magenta boots that went just under her knee, a pale pink jacket on over a white blouse. Her red hair was folded neatly into a tight bun under a sun hat.

Sandra had barely been gone 5 hours and she comes home to this.

She began digging around under the bed. Barely looking at her husband before grabbing for the pistol under the bed. "What the hell are you doing here? " Lucas questioned as he sat up in bed, in shock and processing just what was going on. She barely wanted to answer how pissed off she was.

"I live here. My trip was cancelled last minute."

She was gruff and upset at both of them. Who ever was in the shower was going to feel her wrath and he sure as hell was going to feel her wrath later too!

She cocked her gun, aiming at his forehead as he put his hands up.

She was surprised in was a guy. She was thoroughly surprised.

An attractive guy with an average build.

Her eyebrows lifted as she slowly turned her head to look at her husband, keeping the gun pointed at the man with his hands up.

Her jaw dropped, as she glared daggers at her husband.

"Who the fuck is he? " She said sternly, before the next sentence dropped out of her mouth, taken a back that the stranger behind her had stated the same thing as her, at the same time.

"Lucas, what the fuck!"

Lucas looked between his wife and Jori, slowly moving off the bed. His brown eyes didnt stop from the scene unfolding as he slowly stood and inserted himself between Jori and Sandra.

Slowly, Sandra lowered her gun, a firm put out lip as she glared at him.

"You couldnt have, like, TOLD ME!" He began, her fingers twisting up as she seemed like she wanted to choke Lucas.

Then she gripped the sides of her hair as she turned her back to them.

"You couldnt have like, I dont fucking know. Said 'hey I wanna experiment' or fuck like 'hey I dont think this is working out!' Something! Something better than this! Anything better than this! I know you were slow and sort of an idiot Lucas but really?"

She looked frazzled now. Laying the gun on the bed.

Jori rolled his eyes, "Kay, You two have fun. Im deleting your number and blocking you. Please just let me grab my clothes and live." He hissed, shoving past the hulk of a man and picking up the last of his clothes that made it to the bedroom.

Lucas looked more defeated in more ways than one, reaching out as Jori left the room. "Jori--! Wait I !"

"You what?" Sandra said sharply, seating herself pretty on the bed.

"Let him go. This is your mess, clean it up." Lucus wanted to spit something vile to her, he wanted to throw up lies as his head begged him to do what wouldnt make his father take his title away from him. What wouldnt make him be denied anything from the family. Yet, He really liked Jori. A lot.

He liked Sandra too, it was just...He couldnt put his finger on it. Sex with her was like, closing your eyes and waiting for it all to be over. Sex with Jori was so much more. At least to him. Jori felt different of course.

Thats all this was after all to him. A good fun time between his job and school. It isnt like this sort of thing isnt common, even now that being gay is fairly accepted, you still get people too afraid to be themselves or admit they are gay with out worried they are going to be ostracized in their family or jobs. As if being out there you dont deal with that anyways. Or as if being in the closet is any safer. You eventually get caught. Or worse, you become so filled with self hatred you cant figure out if this is a closet or a home.

As Jori closed the front door, now fully clothed his shoulders slumped, sighing heavily as he double checked he grabbed everything.

At least this wasnt anything too serious. Though, Lucus did look quite upset like he wanted to say something. Like he wanted him to stay. To 'keep in contact'. Please. He had been through this song and dance all too many times before.

#writing #romance #short story #my writing

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spn-rewrites · 5 years

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01x12 (part 1)

Season One Episode Twelve: Faith

A/N: Alright, a quick note. my computer is effed up. The updates may start to slow down unfortunately until I can figure out how to fix this mess but they’ll still come, I promise. I love hearing from you guys, so please keep the feedback coming! Let me know of any ideas you guys have for future episodes, storylines, ect and as always, please REBLOG if you enjoyed.

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: a hunt gone wrong, hospital beds, and another call to John.

`“What do you have those amped up to?” Sam asked as Dean rummaged through his trunk for the taser guns.

“100,000 volts,” Dean grinned, handing one to you and Sam and taking one for himself.

“Damn,” you commented, moving it around in your hands. You were careful with your

inspections and Dean filled his backpack up with any extra supplies you may need but truly, this was the one and only thing that could actually kill this thing.

“Yeah, I want this rawhead extra freakin’ crispy,” Dean mumbled and then looked at you, pointing the butt of his taser gun at you and dancing it between you and Sam. He was really only talking to you and you knew that. “Remember, you’ve only got one shot with these things, so you better make it count.”

“Yeah, I remember,” you mumbled with a little attitude laced in your voice at his reminder. You accidentally fire one of these prematurely once and you’ll never live it down. Dean closed the trunk to the Impala and you snuck your way into the old, creaky, house. It seemed to be abandoned for the most part, the floors hardly kept up with, garbage everywhere. You made your way to the basement, guns pointed and flashlights ready.

It was quiet until it wasn’t and there was a bang coming from one of the walls. All three of your flashlights instantly went to the noise and you crept closer to it. On the count of three, Dean pulled open the little door that you assumed led to a little crawlspace. You jumped when he opened it but relief flooded you when you saw it was two little kids.

One boy and one girl, shaking with their knees pulled to their chest. “Is it still here?” Sam asked, loosely looking over them for any obvious injuries. The boy nodded to his question and you gestured for them to stand up and get out of the crawlspace.

“Grab your sister’s hand. We’re gonna get you out of here,” Dean said. You put your hand on their backs, carefully walking them over to the stairs with Sam and Dean guarding your back. You and the kids made it to the landing but Sam’s groan was too loud in your ear and then there was a thud and some screaming and Sam tumbled down the stairs. “SAM!” You and Dean both called out for him. Dean shot his taser gun in the direction that he must have seen this thing but he missed.

Sam quickly got up and ran back up the stairs to you, tossing his taser gun at Dean. “Take this!” He ordered. Dean caught it easily, nodding towards you and his brother before you disappeared behind the corner and ran out of the house. Sam told you to stay put, guarding the entrance to the house while he secured the girls in the car.

You couldn’t hear much coming from the basement but you were anxiously waiting. Dean could handle himself was the mantra that you repeated over and over again while your leg shook in anticipation. “I’m gonna go back down there!” You called for Sam. He didn’t say anything, just waved a hand at you to give you the go ahead and you whipped around, running back down the stairs trying not to make too much noise but the second you saw Dean lying in the corner of the basement, unconscious, you ran.

You could feel a pulse on your fingertips but you didn’t know if it was his or just yours from your heart beating so quickly. He wouldn’t wake up, no matter how much you tried to shake him awake or slap his cheeks or begged him to. You knew you couldn’t carry him up the stairs alone and it felt like an eternity, you sitting there, checking for pulses on his neck and his wrists while crying out for Sam until he eventually showed up. He ran to your side, doing all the same steps that you just did until he grabbed him and helped you carry him to the car.

Getting the kids to safety was your first mission but it felt insignificant to you as you cradled Dean’s head in your lap in the front seat of the Impala. You tried not to cry now that you weren’t alone and you didn’t want to freak the kids out so you sniffled to yourself quietly until the kids got out of the car and then Sam and then Dean to take him into the hospital. It wasn’t until you were left alone in the car while Sam delivered him to the ER that you let yourself really, really cry. Like snot shooting out of your nose, not being able to tell the difference between snot and tears on the back of your hand, whole body shaking kind of cry. When you were done and your eyes were bloodshot and your nose was rosy, you went in to join Sam.

You and Sam were at the reception area, trying to figure out how to pay for this mess when the lady gave you a solemn look, “there doesn’t seem to be any insurance on file.” Sam mumbled a few words to himself, grabbing his wallet out of his pocket. He was just as shaken up as you, maybe even more but he was handling it much better. You hadn’t seen him cry but that didn’t mean he wasn’t and he handed the lady a credit card - stolen. “Okay, mister Berkovitz,” she said, reading the name on the card.

You looked over your shoulder at the policemen waiting, watching, staring at you. You pulled on Sam’s jacket after the lady went to run the card and made your way to the policemen. They gave you another solemn look and you were already tired of all the pity looks you were receiving from people. You wanted to be left alone. “We can, uh, finish this up later,” the policeman offered.

“No, it’s okay,” Sam told them, shoving his hands in his jacket pocket. “We were just taking a shortcut through the neighborhood and our windows were rolled down. We heard some screaming when we drove past the house, and we stopped and ran inside,” he explained the fake version of it all. The civilian version it.

“And found the kids in the basement?” The officer finished, you and Sam both nodded. “Well thank god that you did,” he said, offering you a proud smile. This was one of the more friendlier encounters with the police you’ve had in the past few years and you were disappointed that it was under such grave circumstances.

You heard a door opening from behind you and you excused yourself from the officers, Sam quickly following. The policemen yelled a thank you down the hall as you ran up to the doctor. “Is he-” You started but the doctor held out a hand, suggesting that you calm down. You took two deep breaths and then the doctor smiled.

“He’s resting,” he said.

“And?” You pushed.

“The electrocution triggered a heart attack - pretty massive, I’m afraid. His heart is damaged,” the doctor explained. You felt like your heart was damaged hearing that news. You felt Sam’s body tense up.

“How damaged?” Sam asked and you braced yourself for the worst news possible. You could see it in the doctor's eyes that that was coming. You wrapped your arm around Sam’s, leaning into him for comfort.

“We’ve done all that we can. We just need to try and keep him comfortable at this point but I’d give him a couple weeks at most, maybe a month,” he explained. You thought that you had cried all of your tears but more threatened to come. Your heart was pounding so hard in your chest you thought that you were going to vomit all of the doctor’s white coat.

“No. There’s gotta be more that you can do,” Sam protested, his face falling and there they were: the tears. “Some kind of treatment,” Sam suggested.

“We can’t work miracles. I really am sorry.” Your lips parted and you could feel the tears streaking down your face and you felt paralyzed in that hallway with that doctor but Sam pushed you off of him and pushed past the doctor and into Dean’s room where the TV was lightly humming.

When you entered the room, Dean was mumbling something about daytime TV with his raspy voice that cut deep into your skin and left you bruised. You popped up behind Sam, who sighed and let out a sharp exhale. “We talked to your doctor,” he said.

“That fabric softener teddy bear. I wanna hunt that little bitch down,” Dean said, pursing out his lips as he changed the channel of the TV.

“Dean,” you warned. He rolled his eyes, putting the remote down on his lap.

“Looks like you guys are gonna have to leave town without me,” he said bluntly.

“What are you talking about? We’re not gonna leave you here,” you said, stepping out from behind Sam’s back, getting braver and braver but it was hard to see him in this condition. It was heart wrenching.

“You better take care of that car,” he warned. “I swear I’ll haunt your ass.”

“I don’t think that’s funny,” Sam said and you agreed but you bit your lip to prevent yourself from smiling.

“Oh come on, it’s a little bit funny.” You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh and Sam smiled, looking down at his feet. The room fell silent then and Dean let out a sigh. “Look, Sammy, what can I say, man? It’s a dangerous gig and I drew the short straw. That’s it, end of story.”

“Don’t talk like that, alright? We’ve still got options,” Sam pleaded with his brother. You knew just as well as Dean that there were no options but Sam would play the devil’s advocate until Dean died. He would always beat the horse too thin. Pray for a miracle that would never come.

“What options? You got burial or cremation,” Dean deadpanned.

“Hey,” you warned, shooting him a glare. He licked his lips, raised his eyebrows at you apologetically and then sighed again.

“I know it’s not easy but I’m gonna die. And you can’t stop it,” Dean said. He was the first one to really say it out loud. In those words. Sam’s face was scrunched up and red and you saw the tears pooling in his eyelid but you knew he wouldn’t let them fall around Dean. You put your hand on his forearm briefly and then sat on the edge of Dean’s bed.

“Watch me.”

The next few days were spent searching the internet and calling everyone in John’s journals to figure out a way to fix this, but Sam wasn’t sleeping and he wasn’t crying and you felt like maybe he was holding back for you because even when you were hiding in the bathroom, waiting for him to do something while he was alone - there was nothing. You couldn’t even hear him crying in the shower.

You were perched on the edge of the bed, the laptop on your lap while Sam tried John’s phone. No answer. “Hey dad, it’s Sam. Uh… You probably won’t even get this, but, uh, it’s Dean,” he started, his voice shaking and cracking. You closed the laptop and pushed it to the side. “He’s sick and the doctors say there’s nothing they can do.” He paused, his face scrunching up in pain. “But hey,” he chuckled, “they don’t know the things we know, right? So don’t worry, cuz I’m, uh, gonna do whatever it takes to get him better.” Sam kept hitting his ankle that was crossed over his knee and playing with the frayed ends. “All right, just wanted you to know.” Sam hung up and you were angry at John for not answering and not being here and making Sam do this alone.

“Hey,” you whispered, putting your hand on his shoulder. He jumped at your touch, almost like he forgot that you were even there but he softened when he looked at your face. You gave him a weak smile. “We’ll fix this, okay?” You promised him. It wasn’t something you could promise or that you should have promised but you did it anyway to make him feel better.

He pushed off the bed and started to pace around the room, running his hands through his dirty hair. He looked like such a mess. You could almost see the anger building up inside of him on his face. The way he squeezed his eyes shut, the way his lips were tight against each other. Sam turned around and in one swift motion, he cleaned the table clean of all the magazines and take out menus that littered it.

You jumped to your feet and put your hands on his biceps, coaching him to look at you. Begging him to look you in the eyes. When he finally did, you gave him another weak smile. “Breathe, okay? Please?” You asked. Sam licked his lips and then took a deep breath, nodding at you but when he let it out, he shook his head and crashed his body into yours.

You wrapped your arms around him and he squeezed you so tight you thought your head was going to pop off but you didn’t mind because that was Sam and you were willing to hold him for as long as he needed or wanted you to but a knock at the door broke the moment.

You sat him down on the bed and got the door yourself. “Dean?” His skin was pale and he was sweating even though it was cold outside and his body was pressed against the doorframe. “What the hell are you doing here?” You scolded him for leaving but the smile on Sam’s face when he saw him, made you regret it.

“I checked myself out,” he smirked, limping into the room, holding himself up with the chair.

“Are you crazy?” Sam asked but his face was filled with relief and joy that his brother was here with him. You knew just how crazy it made him think about Dean in that hospital bed, alone, watching daytime TV that he hated.

“I wasn’t going to die in a hospital, especially where the nurses aren’t even hot,” he joked as you closed the door behind him and helped him sit down in the chair. Neither of you laughed at his joke, but Dean still thought it was funny and he chuckled.

“You know, this whole “I laugh in the face of death” thing is crap. I can see right through it,” Sam told him, trying to scold or be serious but he was still smiling a little bit.

“Yeah, whatever, dude,” Dean rolled his eyes and adjusted his jacket so that he was comfortable and you couldn’t imagine that he was but he was putting on a brave face despite the fact that he looked like he was dying. “Have you even slept? You look worse than me,” he teased.

“He hasn’t,” you answered for Dean but giving Sam a glare. You had been begging him the last few days to just get a few moments of sleep and you would do the research for him but he insisted on staying up until he found a solution for his brother. Even as you slept, you could feel his body stirring next to you.

“I’ve been scouring the internet for the last three days. Been calling every contact in dad’s journal,” Sam explained, sitting down on the bed across from his brother. You sat next to him, pulling out the laptop and opening it up. There weren’t many solutions out there, but the one that you had so far, was pulled up on the computer.

“For what?” Dean groaned, visibly uncomfortable.

“For a way to help you. One of dad’s friends, Joshua, he called me back. He told me about a guy in Nebraska, a specialist,” Sam explained. You pulled up all the reports of the guy that you could find online, up, spinning the computer to show Dean. All the articles you could find showed nothing but good things. This guy healing people from even the brink of death.

Dean scanned the screen and shook his head, “you guys aren’t gonna let me die in peace, are you?” He asked.

“We’re not gonna let you die, period. We’re going.”

tagged: @matchamendes @stuckupstucky @sillydecoy @kaelyn-lobrutto24@liztorr1212 @icanreadbookstoo @rachael-mae @jessewa26

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antihero-writings · 5 years

Text

The Things We Say Aloud—Pandora Hearts Fic for Phmonth18 Rainsworth Trio Week—Prompt 2: Family (Full Fic)

Fic Title: The Things We Say Aloud

Fic Synopsis: The Rainsworth Trio has a tradition of midnight snowball fights. But what if this is Break’s last?

Notes: This is another fic I wrote last Christmas (for the prompt “Rain”), but I think will work well for Phmonth18. I think it works best for the Rainsworth Trio Prompt 2: Family. You don’t have to have read the previous Christmas fic to understand it, but they are supposed to take place in the same year, and there are a few connections/references between them. (The other one is called “In Plain Sight” and you can read it on this blog, and/or at I_prefer_the_term_antihero ‘s Ao3!)

Out of all the PH fics I’ve written so far, this is honestly probably my favorite. I would deeply appreciate it if you commented to let me know you enjoyed it!

I feel like the Rainsworth Trio–especially Sharon and Break–don’t really talk about Break’s death, even though they know it’s coming. I thought it would be interesting to explore how such a conversation would go, and almost made myself cry writing it!

Also, point of interest, a song that I think works really well for the section of this fic where Break is pondering if it will be his last Christmas is “Into the Open Air” from the Brave soundtrack.

P.S. This is a repost of an old fic!

Fic:

Rain pounded its tune on the roof. It was the kind of rain that swarms the air, making it misty, grey, and cold with the buzzing of a thousand tiny drops.

It wasn’t that he disliked the rain. There will always be something about the rain that’s soothing to people dealing with sorrow. But rain like this; that pounds, and pounds, and doesn’t dissipate, sometimes serves to extend the mistiness inside too. Though it could be a rest, a relief, people like him always pray for the sun to come back. For sunny days and summer light were something people like him, with red eyes, and a past full of sin, knew they didn’t deserve, but couldn’t help seeking all the same.

Xerxes Break walked through the hallway of the Rainsworth manor. He wore his turquoise and gold outfit, half of his white hair falling across his shoulder, the other, shorter side, messily added to the covering the bandages provided—bandages over the place where his left eye should have been, though it rarely bled anymore.

As he passed by one of the rooms, he saw Sharon. She looked so small, but so regal, sitting on the windowsill, with her back to the glass, now frosted with condensation. Her chestnut hair was pulled back with a ribbon, and she was wearing her little pink dress. The little girl was pouting, staring at the ground, her arms folded over her chest in the characteristic expression children wear when they don’t get their way.

He paused, resting his hand on the doorframe.

She lifted her head.

When she met his eyes, he remembered very quickly that was not in his skill set to comfort little girls.

When he glanced back, she was giving him a look that said Well? Aren’t you going to come comfort me?

He knew better than to disobey such a look. He took a deep breath and walked in, hopping up on the windowsill next to her.

Like the rain, it wasn’t that he disliked kids, he just didn’t know how to deal with them. When they cried and threw tantrums…in short, he didn’t know how to deal with emotion (well, strong ones anyways). He couldn’t help hoping that kids like her could stay happy, and innocent forever. Like he had hoped for his young mistress from another time, and seen it go so very wrong, then later heard, through his own interference, that he had made it go far worse. But children would have to get hurt, they would have to grow up, some day. And in turn, they would become the kinds of creatures who hurt, and caused pain, who even killed, and made excuses for it…creatures like himself.

Luckily, he found that Sharon was a much happier, much kinder, much stronger child than most.

When she didn’t speak—(he didn’t dare ask, for fear of making it worse)—he turned to look outside the window.

“Xerx-niisan,” she began at last, “Why is the sky crying?”

He turned back to her, raising an eyebrow. “Huh?”

They weren’t siblings; they weren’t even remotely related. But for some reason, the name fixed itself in her mouth, and nothing he did or said could change that.

She could be a little tyrant sometimes.

At his misunderstanding, she continued to pout, averting her eyes. Then she jerked back to look at him, (he flinched a little), and said in a high pitched voice, “It’s almost Christmas! Why is it raining? It should be snowing!”

“Oh,” he relaxed a little, contemplating his response, “Well…it’s not going to stop raining just because you want it to. Sometimes,” he gave a sardonic smile that was more painful than the frown that seemed fixed on his face, looking away into the rain, as if he would find answers reading the drops, “things…people…that should be happy, just can’t be. And no matter how much you want something…”

He trailed off, and when he turned back, he saw tears welling in her eyes.

Nice going, Xerxes, you barely have to open your mouth to make a little girl cry.

There they were, brimming to the surface: all those emotions he didn’t know what to do with. He could only sit there, waiting for her own brand of rain to start, wanting more than anything to escape, to not have to figure out the right words to fix her.

It was the crying he hated the most. Maybe it was because it reminded him too much of a certain day, long ago, of a certain girl…but the snow did fall that day…

Still, he wasn’t going to tell her that if she just wished hard enough, if she believed in hope, the-general-goodness-of-the-world-and-its-inhabitants, and maybe a little bit of magic, that the snow would fall, that she could change things. Wishes were dangerous things, and he didn’t suggest anyone make them. You never know who, or what, might be listening.

Fortunately, before the tears reached her cheeks, Sharon’s mother, Shelly Rainsworth, appeared at the doorway. She looked almost exactly like an older version of her daughter, the same chestnut hair, the same smile that shined with a light of its own.

Upon seeing the tearful look on her daughter’s face, she marched into the room, put her hands on her hips, and turned to Break.

“Xerxes,” she said his name like he really was Sharon’s brother, “what did you say to her?”

“Why do you assume it was my fault, Shelly-sama?” he muttered, sounding like the child she was calling out.

“Let’s just say you have a habit of stepping on people’s feelings.”

He sighed. “I was only telling her that it won’t start snowing simply because she wants it to.”

“It’s almost Christmas, mother!” Sharon said like she was pleading her case, the tears reappearing in her eyes.

Shelly smiled, shaking her head.

“What am I going to do with you two?” she crouched down in front of Sharon, and paused, contemplating her own question for a moment. “Tell you what, sweetie; I can’t promise it’ll start snowing because you want it to, but I can promise this:” she pushed her daughter’s tears away, “The moment it starts snowing—or, I suppose,” she interrupted herself, “the moment there’s enough snow on the ground, but no later!—we’ll go outside, and have a snowball fight. How does that sound?”

“Really?” Sharon raised her head, the sadness lifting a little.

“Even if I’m busy, or it starts snowing in the middle of the night,” Shelly elaborated, grinning, “No, especially, if it’s in the middle of the night,” she placed a finger on Sharon’s nose, at which the little girl giggled, “I’ll wake you up—or you me—then, while everyone else is asleep, we’ll run around the house in just our pajamas and coats, we’ll wake Xerxes—”

“What?!” Break blurted out.

“Yes, we’ll wake Xerxes,” she repeated smirking, “drag him outside—”

“Do I get a say in this?!”

“Nope,” she grinned mischievously, “Don’t think I’m letting you get out of this one.”

“Tch.” He looked away.

She walked calmly to the couch, picked up one of the pillows, as if she was going to fluff it, brought it over to them, and smacked him with it.

He growled, his red eye starting to blaze, like some caged beast.

She threw the pillow back onto the couch, sighing, saying seriously, “I don’t want you sitting here on this windowsill forever…I know, somewhere inside you, there’s someone…” she pondered it, then smiled, saying simply, “Someone who’s not afraid. You’re stronger than you think. Deep down, I think, these sorts of things that seem childish, like snowball fights, and tea-parties,” she smirked, “fun things, you actually enjoy.”

He looked away, as if knowing he could only disappoint her.

She added softly, placing a finger on his chin, making him look at her,

“We’ll see that smile someday, Xerxes Break.”

He stared at her as she took her fingers away, then he blinked, averting his eyes again. murmuring something about, “Really, Shelly-sama…I’d just ruin—”

“Sharon,” Shelly interrupted his mutterings, turning to her daughter, “Do you think Xerxes should sit here sulking, day in and day out, or do you think he should join our snowball fight?”

“Xerx-niisan should come with us!” she didn’t even take a breath before she answered.

He stared into the little girl’s eyes, so full of hope, no question, no hesitation, just…kindness, endless kindness.

Shelly smiled at her daughter, which turned into devious smirk when she looked at him.

“Checkmate.”

He bit his lip before jumping back down to the ground, muttering incoherently his displeasure, knowing once they were set, he couldn’t change their minds.

They could be tyrants sometimes.

Most people wouldn’t have gone near him, much less want him to be a part of something…well, fun. He knew what people said about him. It didn’t matter, it had been a long time since he had cared what other people thought, plus, he more than welcomed the lack of company. But, the thing is, he knew they were right; he was creepy, and dark, and very, very dangerous. So, he too, often wondered why they had taken him in, why they treated him like something worth saving, worth dragging out of bed for snowball fights, and tea-parties, rather than being sure, like rest of the world was—like he was—that he would just darken everything with any amount of light in it.

That’s what Children of Misfortune were for, right?

A little girl, who should have been more scared of him than anyone, who should’ve wanted him as far away from her and her snowball fights than anyone, could not only go near him, but fail to hesitate as she bounded up to this dark-and-dangerous man, looked into that blood-red eye, and asked him why the sky was crying, gave him flowers, and called him “brother.”

And that was worth more to him than he would ever dare admit aloud.

*****

It was from nightmares about knights, and blood, little girls, dolls, and names that he never mentioned, that Xerxes Break awoke from.

Breath and heartbeat weighed heavily on his chest. Once the memories faded enough for him to remember that, though it may have been real, it was not now, he gritted his teeth together, slamming his fist into the wall behind him. He didn’t care how much pain was pulsating through his hand.

If only it would take his mind off the throbbing in his empty eye socket.

If he had been a weaker man, perhaps he would have screamed, even cried, perhaps he would have whispered something pitifully to the sheets about not wanting to remember again, not wanting nightmares like this one to show their faces in his head. But he had already made a wish, and these nightmares were its descendants. He didn’t have the authority to dream anymore.

All he had was the anger and regret surging through his body, and nowhere for it to go, except make his past a weapon that shattered him just as much as it did his enemies, into glass shards, and cold bones, and bloodstained roles.

Still, there was some part of him that hoped after so many years they would have stopped haunting him. And sure, maybe it wasn’t every night, but they did come. Perhaps that’s why they call them ghosts; There were too many horrors to be reminded of, too many sins to feel guilty for, too little he could do to fix it, and the nightmares were all too eager for the task. One lifetime was not enough for them to let him forget.

They say ‘there’s no rest for the wicked’, and his mind was often cruel enough to remind him.

When he raised his gaze, he saw that the curtain was open just slightly, and something in the sliver of window flickered.

The Mad Hatter sighed, throwing his legs over the side of the bed.

It was awfully cold.

He stepped up to the window, gently pulling back the curtain, just enough so he could see.

He drew in a breath softly, his eye widening at the view:

It was snowing.

There was enough moonlight to see flakes falling upon the grounds—which were cloaked in white by now.

Like that time years ago, for the whole month, the only thing that fell from the clouds was rain, and finally, the sky decided that Christmas Eve was no time to be laying in bed, sleeping, or else dreaming about past follies.

“Well, Shelly-sama, what do you think?” he spoke softly to the merciful sky, “One last snowball fight?” he paused a moment, turning, leaning against the window, as if waiting for an answer to be whispered in his ear.

He stepped over to his wardrobe, throwing a coat over his pajamas, taking up some winter gloves, putting on socks and boots, and, as always, placing Emily on his shoulder (she wouldn’t want to miss this).

Lighting the candelabra on his nightstand, he ventured into the hallway, making his way toward Sharon’s bedroom.

Opening the door as quietly as he could, he walked in, setting the light on her nightstand.

Sharon was sleeping soundly on her curtained bed, her hair splayed all over the sheets, wrinkled in the night’s sleep, and she hugged her pillow.

He resisted the urge to laugh at her un-proper appearance.

Break sat on the side of her bed, by her head, saying quietly,

“Ojousama.”

She stirred in her sleep, muttering something indecipherable.

He gently ran his hand through her hair, saying louder, “Sharon.”

She blinked open fuchsia eyes to see her servant.

“Break,” she muttered his name softly.

Slowly, she sat up, yawning, looking around.

“Break, what’re you…?” she began, fatigue weighing down her words, then shook it away by shaking her head, “What are you doing in my room?! In the middle of the night! How dare you wake me up!”

He knew what was coming next: she grabbed one of the pillows, and he dodged it before she hit him with it. “Do you think you can just come in here as you please?!”

“Really, Ojousama,” he laughed, standing back up, “You think I’d risk injury without good reason?”

She folded her arms over her chest, pouting. He walked over to the window, throwing open the curtain, standing beside it.

“This better not be one of your pranks, Break,” she muttered, walking over to the window.

“Relax. When have I ever been that cruel?”

She glared at him, as if to say I-could-name-a-few-times, then turned to the window, surveying the landscape outside.

Her aggravated expression broke for widened eyes and a smile.

“Break!” she exclaimed, all grievance forgotten, grabbing his hands and spinning him around, “It’s snowing!!” she let go of him, and jumped up on the bed, repeating, “It’s snowing!! It’s snowing!!”

He smirked, folding his arms over his chest; No matter how old she really was, she still looked like that little kid to him.

“What do you say?” he helped her down from the bed, “One last snowball fight?”

“What are you talking about ‘one last’?” she grabbed the pillow and managed to catch him off guard this time. “You better not be talking about that again!”

She didn’t wait for him to respond as she dropped the pillow and ran over to her wardrobe, found a little coat to throw over her nightshirt, boots, and gloves, then handed him a ribbon to tie her hair back.

“Ready?” he tapped her on the shoulder when he had finished tying her hair.

She nodded, beaming.

They weren’t too far from Reim’s room when Break asked her to hold the candelabra, and stepped down the stairs to the front door.

“Where are you going?” she asked, “Reim’s room is this way.”

“This will only take a moment,” he grinned.

She put her hand on her hip, scowling at him as he ran out the front door. Quickly he returned, with the first snowball in his gloved hand.

“Break! Just what are you intending to do with that?!”

“You’ll see!” said Emily.

Sharon sighed, placing her head in her hand.

Reim stayed at the Rainsworth’s often enough that he had his own room (albeit, not a very fancy one). They quietly entered it to see the servant laying on a bed, much neater than either of theirs, facing away from them. His glasses, and some extra paperwork he just couldn’t leave at work, lay dormant on his nightstand.

Break tiptoed up to his friend, gently pulled back the collar of his shirt, and stuffed a snowball down the back of his shirt.

It was a moment before it took effect, but when it did, Reim skyrocketed out of bed, dancing around, until the snow fell onto the floor.

Break could barely contain his laughter.

He rested his hands on his knees panting. When he regained his bearings enough to figure out what had just happened, and saw Break laughing, he shouted,

“XERXES, YOU BASTARD!!”

Reim lunged at Break, at which the older man only needed to step out of the way, to make Reim trip onto the floor.

“Yes, a tired Reim-san, without his glasses, is definitely a match for me,” he remarked, leaning over him,

“A normal Reim-san isn’t exactly a match either!” Emily squeaked.

“Now, now Emily,” Break chided his doll playfully, “we mustn’t rub this sort of thing in people’s faces.”

“I’m gonna kill you,” Reim’s voice was muffled by the floor

Break laughed, “Is that so?”

“All in good fun!” Emily chirped.

“It’s not fun for me!” he retorted, sitting up, “How can your idea of fun be tormenting your best friend!” Reim got up off the floor and sat on his bed.

“Come now, Reim-san, ‘torment’ is a little harsh, don’t you think?”

“I meant what I said! I mean, who in their right mind thinks a good way to wake their friend up is to stuff freezing-cold snow—”

He interrupted himself, looking at each of them with question in his eyes. He repeated the word, “Snow…?”

Sharon and Break grinned at each other.

Break helped his friend up, saying, “And whoever said I was in my right mind? Didn’t you know? All the best people are mad.”

Reim rolled his eyes.

Sharon and Break stepped up to the window to unveil the answer to his question. Reim followed to inspect the view outside.

Then he looked at each of them, shaking his head and smiling. “Really, you two, after all these years…”

He trailed off, going over to his wardrobe to put on the winter clothes he kept there.

They barely had time to blow out the candles before Sharon grabbed both their hands and dragged them out into the moonlit hall.

They were like little kids trying to get a peek at Santa; bumbling down the hall, almost falling over each other, shushing each other, as they made their way through the manor, down the stairs, out the front door, into the cold grounds.

Even with their winter clothing, the cold still crept in. The snow muffled ordinary sounds, falling seamlessly, sparks of scattered moonlight gleaming off the flakes.

“So, we’ll—” Reim was interrupted by Break throwing a snowball at the back of his head.

“Oy! I was talking!” he whirled around.

“What’s there to talk about, Reim-san?” Break tossed another snowball up and down in his hand.

“I was simply—”

This time it was Sharon who threw the snowball at his face.

“Nice shot, Ojousama,” Break mentioned.

“Thank you,” she grinned, “You’re next, Xerx-niisan.”

“Alright, you two are going down,” Reim challenged.

“That’s more like,” Break smirked.

It didn’t make sense that three adults could have so much fun doing something so childish as playing in the snow. But between exploding snow and shouting, their laughter was what radiated like light from the scene. Maybe they forgot they weren’t children, they forgot that they had grown up things to do, responsibilities to attend to, and that the world was really comprised of blood and pain, and worthless names, not innocence and friendship.

The mad tea party, forever trapped in a moment, forgotten by time.

It was a while later when another voice broke through:

“Hey, what are you guys doing?”

They paused, turning to see Oz at one of the balconies.

“Our humblest apologies, Oz-sama!” Reim shouted back, bowing low, “We didn’t intend to be so loud!”

“No worries!” he yawned, “Are you…having a snowball fight?”

“That’s right, Oz-kun,” Break answered, “Would you like to join us?”

“Really?! You’ll let me?!”

“Sure,” he tossed a snowball up and down in his hand again, “but we certainly won’t be going easy on you!”

Oz beamed. “Hang on a sec! Lemme grab Gil and Alice!”

Not long afterwards, they heard the all-too-familiar sounds of Gilbert and Alice shouting, and they their annoyed faces appeared on the balcony.

“Why are you three having a snowball fight at 6:00 in the morning!” Gilbert yelled down to them.

“Oh? You scared you didn’t make the cut?” Break taunted . “Clown! Is this your doing?!” Alice demanded, “I’ll come down there and make you pay for waking me up!”

As Break spoke to them, Reim saw it as an opportunity to get his own revenge, and snuck up behind him. Break, of course, still heard him coming and, once again, tripped him, as he got close.

Break walked around him in a circle, grinning shaking his head, “You’re going to have to try harder than that to beat me.”

Reim gave an expression akin to Gilbert’s evil eye.

Break kicked some snow onto his head as he walked by, just to rub it his face (quite literally).

Oz, Gilbert, and Alice tumbled down the front steps, already laughing and yelling at each other before they even joined the fight.

“Well look who it is,” Break taunted, leaning over them, then Emily continued,

“The dumb bunny, the spoiled brat, and—” he didn’t get to finish, because the two lunged at him.

There weren’t really any teams, or way of keeping score—it was everyone against everyone else, though each of them had their own approach: Gilbert had a more meticulous method; creating a stash of snowballs, and walls to hide behind, (often getting hit in the building process). Oz was would sneak up on people, and took particular pleasure in knocking down, or stealing, Gil’s hard work, while Alice ran around pelting everyone in sight, holding a particular grudge against anyone who landed a hit on her (who were mostly Break and Oz).

Near the end of their fight, as Break snuck up on Sharon, just about to land a hit on her, he found himself falling, and was then somehow on the other side of the yard,

He paused to regain his bearings, and stood back up to his full height, quickly discerning what had happened.

“Is that really fair, Ojousama?” he called across the yard, knowing she had used her Chain.

She chuckled like it was a trivial offense, “Since when have you cared what’s fair Xerx-niisan?”

Well, she got me there.

It was at this moment he felt a rush of cold! against his neck, and tensed, resisting the urge to spill some choice words. He spun around to see that Reim had been waiting behind a nearby tree and, as he addressed his mistress, Reim had managed to get the perfect revenge.

Break pulled back his shirt to make sure the snow fell, scowling at his friend.

“Say it,” Reim folded his arms over his chest.

“What? That you got me?”

Reim’s expression was unmoving.

“I’ll say nothing of the sort, Reim-san,” he flicked his glasses, “After all, you merely copied me. You should be more creative next time.”

Reim’s fingers curled into fists, practically growling at him.

“I didn’t know we could use Chains!” Oz called, running up to them, having noticed Sharon’s expert use of Eques, (but not the following exchange between Break and Reim.)

“Seaweed-head! Release my limiter!” Alice shouted when she heard, “I want to smash the clowny bastard to smithereens!”

“Is that so?” Break called, “You really want to go down that path, Alice-kun?” Break smirked evilly, “My Mad Hatter would destroy you before Gilbert-kun even had the chance.”

“You wanna go, clown!” Alice hollered, and Gilbert had to hold her back to keep her from rushing at him with teeth and claws.

Reim looked worried, and Oz—wearing a similar expression—spoke in hushed tones, “No, Alice! You don’t want to go up against his Mad Hatter!”

“Try me, Manservant!”

“Break! No one wants to see you killing yourself over some stupid fight with some little girl!” Gilbert scolded.

“Oy! Who you callin’ ‘some little girl’?!” Alice snapped at Gilbert.

That seemed to return Reim to his senses,

“That’s right!” Reim scolded, “What did I tell you about being reckless with your powers?!”

“Always so tense, you two,” he walked up to Alice and ruffled her hair, “I’m only teasing.”

Alice broke free, and the fight resumed, though the others were glad to see neither managed to draw blood, and that it quickly returned to the antics of the snowy game.

And for one brief moment, Break forgot about everything else. About the nightmares, the regrets, and the answers he clung to so desperately as a reason to keep himself from falling further. And for one moment, he could see those flickering lights behind dark eyes, and he was happy he could feel the cold biting his skin, he was happy he could see their faces—rosy-cheeked, all smiles and laughs, even if they were yelling at him—for one precious flicker of a moment, he was happy to be alive.

That moment would end. The shadows would crawl back from the corners of his mind, the smiles would become fake again, the world would become a wax museum of happiness. Reasons that were just that, empty reasons; desire had left them behind in an alleyway long ago, for better, darker wishes. The pain would come back, and once again he’d convince himself, I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care about them. About what happens to me. The snow white chaos would return to tears too fast. But in this moment, it was okay. He was okay.

Sharon and Reim ran at him, but instead of getting out of the way, this time he let them bowl him over, the three of them collapsing in the snow.

Shock flitted across their faces, which broke for smiles.

He wanted to say he was sorry. He wanted to tell them over and over I love you both so very much. But he wasn’t the only one who knew that those words falling from Xerxes Break’s lips was all too close to admitting defeat. Because if he admitted he cared, then he wouldn’t be able to let them go when the end came. And he knew it would come all too soon. His lips wouldn’t dare betray him with such miserable words.

So they settled for a smile.

His real smile. Not the smirks and grins he gave away at a moment’s notice. The smile that was barely perceptible, but which, for them, captured within its folds more sunlight than anything else in their world.

Sharon and Reim glanced at each other, then smiled back at him, deciding not to sully the moment with words.

And, as soon as it came, the true smile was replaced with a smirk.

“You two really are gullible,” he put snow in their hair.

They jumped up, shouting his name, trying to rub it out, then quickly ran after him.

He couldn’t tell them the truth. He couldn’t tell them that he was thinking how this might be his last Christmas. He couldn’t tell them how he was wondering if they would still put his stocking on the mantelpiece when he was gone.

He didn’t get a chance to anyways, because it wasn’t long afterwards when beads of citrus and crimson light began tracing the navy sky.

They paused, panting, raising their eyes to look into the sunrise.

For a moment they stared silently at the art the morning made of daybreak, gentle smiles tracing their lips at the beauty.

Then Oz broke in, exclaiming,

“Merry Christmas, everyone!”

“Merry Christmas!” they answered, a little tiredly.

“What do you guys think?” Reim asked, “Ready to go inside?”

“Aww, but we were having so much fun!” Oz protested, trying to mask the fatigue in his voice.

“Easy for you to say, we’re exhausted!”

“To be fair, we were out here much longer than them,” Break panted, realizing just how tired he was. “Perhaps I have gotten old after all. If you youngin’s want to go on—” he flapped a shirt sleeve their direction.

“There he goes again calling himself old!”

Sharon broke in, “Don’t you want to open presents?”

“Presents?!” Oz repeated, like a dog who had seen a squirrel, glancing at Gilbert and Alice, his grin widening.

They began to make their way inside, still laughing and talking about the plays they each had made, and how they would eventually get each other back. As they walked back, instead of joining the conversation, Sharon gently tugged on the corner of Break’s coat, holding him back.

He turned to see that instead of the tired, but joy-full smile that had traced her face moments earlier, she was hanging her head low.

“Ojousama?” he asked worriedly, crouching down beside her, seeing tears begin to grace her cheeks.

The others noticed, and stopped too.

“Xerxes! What did you do?!” Reim demanded.

“Yeah, Break! How dare you make a girl cry on Christmas?!” Oz questioned, running up to her.

He rolled his eyes at them.

“I’m fine, everyone,” Sharon reassured them, giving a somewhat plastered smile, “I’ll just be a moment.”

They all glanced at each other, knowing something was clearly wrong.

“Are you sure?” Gilbert asked.

“Yeah, Sharon-chan, if you need something—”

“Yes. Please, go inside. Break and I will catch up with you.”

They glanced at each other.

“Alright, Sharon-chan. Just let us know if you need anything, okay?” Oz put a hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you, Oz-sama,” she smiled.

The others gave similar smiles back to her, then they gave Break a collective you-better-not-make-this-worse look before walking up the stairs into the manor.

“Sharon?” he asked softly.

No matter how many years went by, he still couldn’t handle the sight of a child in tears.

“Xerx-niisan,” he could tell she was fighting back against the tears, “What if… What if this is your last Christmas?”

He gasped; he didn’t expect her to be thinking about the same thing.

“What if…” she continued, breath taut, “What if we never get to have another snowball fight? What if…?”

“Well,” he rubbed his neck, looking away, “you and Reim can still—”

“Don’t act like everything will be the same when you’re gone!” she threw snow into his face.

He fell back onto his elbows, gently brushing it out of his hair. After a moment a laugh bubbled in his throat, and he put his hand on his face.

“What’s so funny?!” she demanded, scowling.

Obviously that was the wrong thing to do.

If only she had chosen someone else to comfort her; someone like Oz, who could read the situation, and chose his words carefully. Or Gilbert, who was sensitive enough to understand. Even Reim would be better, despite his rather unemotional, straightforward nature. But she had chosen him.

“It’s funny…to tell you the truth,” his voice became more serious, “It’s just…I was thinking about the same thing.”

Shock added to the concoction of hurt and yearning in her eyes.

“Y-You were?”

He looked at the ground and nodded ever so slightly.

“How dare you laugh at that?” she balled a fist in the snow, but the strength seemed to leave her.

She shook her head, tears fluttering back to her eyes, “You can’t…Xerx-niisan, you can’t! I…I don’t want to be alone!” she put her arms around him and fell onto him.

His eye was wide, his breath harsh and cold as he looked at the girl in his arms, forgetting for a less than a moment that she was not that little girl in a darkened room, surrounded by coffins.

He shook his head of the memory.

“You won’t be alone, you’ll have Reim, and Sheryl-sama, and—”

She lifted her head to scowl at him, as if to say must-I-repeat-what-I-said and he cleared his throat, changing his method of attack.

“Well, I won’t go down easy, that’s for sure. But, despite how it might seem,” he gently ran his finger along her cheek, giving that sad but true smile, and whispered, “I am not that strong.”

“You think you can talking about you dying all the time and I’ll just—?!” she tried to fight back, to be angry, but her words fell like the snow, and she murmured again, she let her head fall back onto his shoulder, and whispered back, “Xerx-niisan…”

He gently wrapped his own arms around her.

“I want to be there for you…” she murmured, “I don’t want you to do something stupid…You’re always running into fights without a second thought…” she sobbed for a moment before saying, “Maybe we could…maybe we could stop it? I-I could go into the fights with Eques…Oz-sama and Gilbert-sama—”

He pressed a kiss into her hair, and as she lifted her head off his shoulder to look at him with the wide and teary eyes of her younger self. The look in his eyes was enough to say I’m sorry, Sharon.

“It’s just like I told you, Ojousama,” he ran his fingers through her hair, and murmured into her ear, “No matter how much I may want it to, I can’t stop it from raining.”

She lifted her head off his shoulder to look at him.

“No matter how much we might want it to, we can make the snow fall. Our wishes can’t change things. Even if…” his words were blown by the wind into the stars.

She shook her head gently, murmuring that name.

“Just promise me you won’t make any illegal contracts to bring me back,” he laughed a little, which turned into a grimace, and she knew just how serious he was being.

She smiled for the first time since the conversation started. “I promise.”

For a moment they sat there, together, in a sort of limbo, watching as the sunrise turned into a light blue sky—a present sorrow caught between the earlier joy, wondering which emotion of the two would soon come. Moments were so finicky.

“I can’t promise I’ll have another Christmas, but we still have today. Let’s not waste it with talking about depressing things.”

She nodded, smiling.

He gently reached down and picked her up.

“Xerx-niisan!” she protested at first.

He touched her nose with his finger.

After a moment, as he took her inside, she rested her head against him sleepily, murmuring, “Xerx-niisan, I don’t want…I don’t want you to pretend you’re okay for my sake.”

His eye widened and he jerked his head to look at her.

“Don’t give me that look,” she responded, “I know you do it. You think I can’t handle it.”

He took a deep breath, “I’m fine, Ojousama,” he murmured, and smiled, “It’s Christmas, after all.”

She shook her head, “No you’re not!”

Once again he kissed her head gave her his real smile, “No, really, Sharon. I am. At least for today.”

The smile she returned was real too.

And that was worth far more to them than either of them needed to say aloud.

12 notes · View notes

magmasliveblogs · 5 years

Text

1.11

i almost didnt have enough time to do this today but i did! we are onto the 12th chapter! to recap: last chapter pisces met relc and klb! this was a great meeting full of joy and happiness! ... who am i kidding it went about as well as you can expect, which is horribly. pisces used his illusion skills to escape!

Erin stood in front of the cupboard and sighed. Loudly.

“Men.”

Erin paused and thought about that word.

“Males. They eat and eat, and eat. And then I have to clean up the dishes. Typical.”

True, she was an innkeeper. Or at least, she kept an inn relatively clean. But that didn’t make her feel better.

“Pantry? Pantry is empty. Food? Food is gone. And money—”

Erin glanced at the pile of coins on the kitchen counter.

“Money is shiny. But uh, inedible. And it’s good to have money, but starvation is an issue.”

Erin stared at the empty pantry. Starvation was a major issue.

it seems we are getting our requisite obvious observations of the day out of the way

“Aren’t there some more blue fruits around here? Here? No…here? Yep. Nice and wrinkled. Lovely.”

She could always get more blue fruits, of course. But there was a limit on how many those trees had left. And there was also a limit to how many Erin was willing to keep hauling back.

“And I’m out of ingredients.”

The flour was gone. The butter was gone. The salt—okay, there was some salt left, and some sugar too. But they were running low in their bags and with the lovely preservation-spell-thing gone they’d probably turn rotten sometime soon.

“So I’m in trouble.”

“So it would appear.”

Erin was sure her heart stopped for a good few seconds. She turned around and looked at Pisces.

“If I had a knife in my hand, I’d stab you.”

He smirked at her. It seemed to be his default mode of face.

“Ah, but what good innkeeper would deprive herself of such a magnificent guest?”

Erin reached for a knife.

“Please, please good mistress, let’s not be hasty!”

Pisces raised his hands quickly and took a few steps back. Erin glared at him. He looked dusty. And dirty. And sweaty.

pisces, what did you expect? also yeah, he is not in good shape

“Where did you come from? I didn’t hear you come in through the door.”

“I was, in fact, upstairs the entire time. It was the simplest solution given the intelligence of those two brutish guardsmen.”

Erin blinked.

“Good job, I guess. But they’re still going to find you. You’re a criminal and you’ve got nowhere to hide.”

“Except here.”

He raised a hand before Erin could say anything.

“Please, hear me out. Rest assured, I bear you no ill will for reporting my actions to the guard. I fully appreciate the severity of my crimes, however—”

“You want something. What? To stay here? No. Nope. No way in hell.”

“I assure you I would be a quite convivial guest. And I wouldn’t ask for much. In fact, you may be interested to know I am proficient in multiple schools of spellcasting. While Necromancy is a—passion of mine, I have extensively studied the elementalist, alchemical and enchanting schools of magic. My level is over twenty in the general [Mage] class. Even amongst my fellow students, you would be hard-pressed to find a spellcaster as widely capable as I am. I can aid in a number of functions that would improve your inn. And I have money.”

Erin raised two eyebrows. One just wasn’t enough.

“And you’re telling me all this…why?”

He licked his lips.

“In point of fact, I was wondering if I might persuade you to shelter and provide me with my basic necessities while in this moment of dire need. I can provide you with adequate recompense I assure you—”

Erin snorted rudely.

“Right, for how long? Days? Weeks? Months? And I get to feed you, make sure no one finds you, and clean up after you? Again: no.”

“Would you turn away an innocent—”

“Innocent? You? You’re nothing more than a thug with a magic wand. Remember how we met? You tried to scare me into giving you food. And now you want protection because you’re getting your just desserts? No. No, when I see Relc again you’d better be long gone from here. And if you don’t leave now, I’ll kick you out myself.”

yeah let the necromancer panic! i doubt erin would truly let them kill him, given her sense of morality so far

Erin finished her tirade and folded her arms under her breasts. But while Pisces had turned white as a sheet, he didn’t look ashamed or afraid so much as…

Angry.

He whispered a spell. Erin felt the air grow colder around her, and suddenly saw shadows twisting around Pisces’s hands. The darkness was gathering around him like a cloak. It was the same spell as before, or close enough.

Pisces took a step towards her.

“I am a man in desperate straits. You would do well not to underestimate what I am capable of.”

Erin’s heart was racing. She took two steps back and he followed.

“Antagonizing one of my power is unwise. If you have any sense, you will accede to my request. Or know the consequences.”

Her mouth was dry, but she knew it was just an illusion. So Erin forced herself to reply with more bravado than she felt.

“So, what? If I don’t decide to help you, will you hurt me? Bash my brains in? Or will you just rip my clothes off and try to rape me?”

He looked shocked.

“Of course I wouldn’t do that. I’m no barbarian—”

“Good.”

Erin’s hand moved in a flash. Pisces looked down and gulped. A knife was poking into his stomach.

Her heart was racing. She could taste bile in her mouth. But her hand was very, very still. She wasn’t sure of much in her life right now. Magic and monsters, made her head spin. Yet some things were the same. And she had no intention of being the victim here, especially where no one could hear her scream.

Her knife had a gratifying effect on her mage guest. He licked his lips and raised his hands, turning a shale paler than normal.

as i said, let the mage panic. also, good to know at least the educated of this world consider rape bad

“Now, now. Let’s not be hasty good mistress. I was merely saying—”

“Move and I will stab you.”

It was no threat. It was a promise. And to his credit, Pisces was intelligent enough to take it seriously.

“—Allow me to apologize. But if I might say a few words—”

“No. Out.”

Erin advanced. Pisces had to step backwards or be knifed in slow motion. She forced him back into the common room and towards the door.

“Please, please reconsider.”

“No. Why should I?”

Pisces stopped at the door. Erin jabbed at him with the knife, but he refused to move back any further. He raised his hands higher and spoke with increasing speed and desperation.

“If I am caught, they will take me to the city. And there I will be judged and killed. This is a certainty, Mistress Erin.”

Erin eyed him uncertainty.

“Relc never said—”

“He didn’t want to tell you the truth! But he and I both know what happens to necromancers. We—any mage possessing even a single level in the class—are all killed on sight in this part of the world! There’s no mercy for my kind here.”

“Well—well too bad.”

Erin’s mouth was on autopilot. Pisces tried to step around her back into the inn, but she blocked him.

“Even if you’re in danger, I’m in danger if I hide you. I’m not doing that. Run away. Just run away now.”

“They will have patrols out around the city. They will scour the grasslands for me. Please, if you were to hide me I would be sure to survive.”

“No. Go.”

Erin pointed towards the door with one hand. He wavered, but made one last entreaty.

“Please, I beg of you. Just one night. Just give me sanctuary and I swear I will be gone upon the morrow. It is my death without your aid. Would you kill me? I ask you as a fellow human. Please.”

“I—”

The knife in her hands wavered. Pisces seized the moment. He stepped forwards, hands outstretched, beseechingly.

“Please, spare my life. If you have any pity in your soul—”

Thudthudthudthudhtud.

Both humans turned and looked at the door.

“Gotcha!”

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the guards are back! it seems pisces’s plan wasnt as foolproof as he thought

It was quick. One second Erin was pointing her finger out the door and glaring at Pisces. The next, something blew past her and he was gone. Two figures crashed into a table and chairs. Erin’s mouth dropped open.

“There you are!”

The larger shape uttered a triumphant laugh as he swung Pisces around and slammed him into the floorboards. It was Relc.

“Miss Solstice.”

Klbkch appeared at her side. Erin jumped but the ant man placed a steadying…hand on her shoulder.

“Please forgive my rudeness. But are you well? We doubled back as soon as we realized the mage had not fled the inn after all. Are you hurt or in need of assistance?”

“What?”

Erin stared at him.

“Are you—what’s—I’m good. Good.”

“That is well. Then, please stand clear. We will be going about our business and I would not wish you hurt.”

That said, Klbkch gently guided Erin to one side. The fight between Relc and Pisces was knocking over tables and chairs as the Drake attempted to smash the Human into anything he could while the human tried to avoid that fate.

Relc roared from the ground.

“Klb! Get over here and help! This guy’s slipperier than he looks!”

Klb nodded to Erin and dashed into the fight. She watched in stupefaction as the two tried to hold Pisces down. Oddly, it wasn’t that easy. Despite the size advantage and muscle advantage, Pisces was still managing to fend both off. Erin wondered why until she saw him push the air around Relc and send the bigger lizard flying off him.

Pisces scrambled to his feet and leapt for the door. But Klbkch caught him by the foot and attempted to tie his hands together with a piece of leather cord. Pisces shouted…something and the leather burst into flames.

It was a fast and dirty fight that had one or all three of the fighters rolling on the ground at all times. But Erin had only half an eye for that. The other eye was watching all of the furniture in her inn get smashed as they fought.

“Stop moving! Hey!”

“Desist your actions or—”

Pisces’s fingers sparked. A small explosion of lightning blasted Klbkch into a wall as Relc ducked. Erin ducked too. From behind her table she could see Klbkch twitching and making a distressed buzzing sound.

“You squirming—”

ugh i would not want to hear that! also we have some non illusion magic being employed by pisces here! seems like non mages have issues understanding the mage language

The dull thud of something hitting something echoed throughout the inn. But it was punctuated by another crackle of electricity and Relc shouting in pain.

Erin turned away from the brawl and ran into the kitchen. She emerged with the pot just in time to see Relc blasted off his feet, this time by what looked like an explosion of air.

Pisces backed away from the Drake, panting heavily. His face was bruised and he was bleeding from the nose and mouth, but his fingers still crackled with energy. He turned to run, but stopped.

Klbkch was on his feet. Well, his legs. The ant man was standing in front of the door, swords drawn. He held two, one in each arm while his other two held small daggers. Erin saw Pisces gulp. She agreed. Klbkch looked like a wall of blades.

“I—I seek no quarrel with you. I am student of Wistram Academy and a practicing mage. You detain me at your peril.”

Pisces pointed a trembling finger at Klbkch. It sparked with green energy that crackled around his fingertip, but it was suddenly a lot less impressive compared to Klbkch’s armed armory.

“Regardless of your affiliation to any academy, you are still under arrest. Please surrender now, or I will be forced to employ lethal force.”

Pisces hesitated.

“My magic—”

“Is useless. Surrender.”

“Surrender?”

Erin jumped. She saw Relc getting to his feet. The Drake’s eyes were narrowed, and in his hands was a spear. It wasn’t long, but it did look extremely sharp. And the way he held it, Erin instinctively knew he was ready to use it to kill.

Pisces took one look at the spear and immediately raised his hands.

“I—I give up.”

Relc spat.

“Not likely. I’m gutting you like a fish right here.”

Erin stared at Relc in horror. But there was no joking in his eyes. He was practically quivering with rage, but the arms that held his spear were completely still and tensed.

“Gutting? Hey, that’s—”

“Don’t be hasty!”

Pisces backed away from Relc, talking fast.

“I assure you, my life is worth far more than you would ever get for me dead. This can all be solved amicably. I will fully cooperate—”

“Cooperate?”

Relc stepped forwards and Pisces pressed his two fingers together. A strong breeze flew through the inn and a flickering barrier of wind appeared in front of Relc.

“I will cease all magic and go with you quietly if you assure my life. I meant no harm to you or your companion. But we are at an impasse until you do.”

Relc’s eyes narrowed.

“By that? You think a piddly little Wind Wall spell is going to stop me?”

The big Drake’s body tensed. He crouched slightly, and then dashed into the wind wall. Relc’s massive body smashed into the semi-transparent barrier of wind. He sunk into the barrier and then the winds pushed back.

Even from this distance Erin felt the tremendous force in the spell and saw chairs and tables being blown away from the force. For a moment she thought he was going to be blown away. But his claws dug into the ground and the wind howled—

The whirling winds blew apart with a small clap of air that sent the nearest chairs flying. Pisces staggered back, face grey with shock. Erin stared.

Relc on the other hand just twirled his spear in his hand. He spat contemptuously on the floor.

“That’s what I think of your spells. I’m a former soldier of the 1st Wing of the Liscorian Army. I’ve killed more mages than you have levels. Now, are you going to die quiet or will I have to pay for painting the walls green with your blood?”

well written fight scene, not one of the best but its early days. also it seems liscors army has a reputation to flaunt. is it common for veterans of the army to become guardsmen?

Pisces stepped back, tripped over a fallen chair and fell on his back. He raised his hands and cried out in a shrill voice.

“I can be ransomed. Quite highly! My school will pay ten—thirty gold coins in whichever denomination you like for my return.”

Relc raised the spear.

“Still don’t care. I don’t need money if I can get rid of a stinking monkey like you.”

Erin raised her voice in horror.

“What? No! No killing! Do you hear me?”

But no one was listening. Klbkch was closing in, swords and daggers at the ready. Relc raised his spear higher.

“Last words, mage?”

“I—I—”

Relc grinned with all his teeth. He raised his spear high. Klbkch watched impassively. Pisces screamed and shielded his face ineffectually. And Erin—

“Hey!”

Erin slammed the pot on the table top as hard as she could. All Relc, Klbkch, and Pisces paused as one to stare at her. She pointed one shaking finger at them.

“No fighting. Not here. And no killing!”

Relc blinked. He lowered his spear a fraction. Erin pointed to it.

“Stop that! Put the weapons away and get out.”

“But he’s—”

“I don’t care! You don’t kill people just because they practice stupid magic! And you don’t kill people just because you don’t like them! And you don’t kill people because killing people is wrong!”

“What?”

Relc pointed down at Pisces angrily.

“He’s a criminal.”

“No, he’s an idiot. But he didn’t do anything wrong enough to die for. All he did was try to scare me.”

“He hit me with lightning!”

“You punched his brains out! That’s not enough to kill him over!”

The Drake lowered his spear.

“I can’t believe this. Are you defending him? Because he’s Human? Or do you not want the blood in here? In that case I’ll take him out back and—”

“No!”

Erin shouted at Relc.

“Are you stupid? I don’t want anyone killing anyone! You can’t do it! I forbid it! It’s wrong! It’s illegal.”

“In point of fact, my comrade’s actions are not—”

Erin whirled and pointed at Klbkch.

“I don’t care! No killing, do you hear me?”

Relc hissed angrily.

“Then I’ll arrest him and he’ll be executed tomorrow. Happy?”

Pisces turned pale again. Erin’s mouth replied before her brain caught up.

“I withdraw my testimony.”

“You what?”

“I withdraw it. All of it. I was never attacked yesterday. This mage-guy never visited the inn, and I never saw him until today. So there’s no reason for you to arrest him.”

“You can’t do that!”

Relc turned and looked at Klbkch.

“Can she?”

The ant man nodded reluctantly.

“She is correct. Without her testimony we cannot arrest him.”

Relc faltered. He looked uncertainty at Pisces and then remembered.

“But he’s still a [Necromancer]! That’s a crime no matter what he does!”

Erin crossed her arms.

“Prove it.”

“What?”

“Prove. It. Can you? Is there a way to check his uh, class?”

Relc gritted his teeth.

“…No. Not without an artifact.”

“Then go. Now.”

this is one of the better early moments. they cant execute him if they cant prove he is a [necromancer]

Relc gaped at Erin. It was surprisingly frightening. Erin could look right down his throat. He had a lot of teeth.

“Are you serious?”

“Absolutely.”

Erin glared at him. Relc lowered his spear, grabbed at the spines on his head and hissed. He pointed at Pisces.

“You take one step in the city and I’ll—I’ll—you take one step in there, and I’ll do something about it.”

Pisces was still lying on the ground. He raised one hand weakly.

“I assure you—”

Relc’s eye twitched.

“Shut up.”

He stomped towards the door.

“Humans!”

Relc kicked the door as he left. Erin winced as she heard the wood crack. Then he was gone.

Klbkch walked past Erin and nodded to her politely.

“Do not mind him. You are within your rights to enforce law within this establishment as you choose. I apologize for the mess on both our behalves.”

He left. Erin stood around the room, looking at the broken chairs, overturned tables, and general wooden carnage. Behind her Pisces got to his feet. He was still shaking and sweatily pale.

“I don’t know how I can thank you good m—Ms. Erin. Please, accept my humblest—”

Bonk.

Erin tapped him on the head with the pot. Hard.

“Out.”

“What?”

Pisces stared at her in disbelief. Erin raised the pot higher.

“Out.”

He stumbled out. Erin kept staring at the mess in the room. It had to be said. Definitely.

“Males.”

it seems erin is done with people for today.

also, thats the end of the chapter! will erin ever go to the city? will pisces come back? will the guards come back? will erin be welcome in the city?

see you tomorrow!

#chrono

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