#it was hard hearing their parents and their sister talk broke my heart
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things are very very very bad ! :)
#like i’m literally in shock i don’t know how to live right now#get ready this is gonna be a whole ass book in the tags#*people that aren’t blood related but family bc my grandpa had someone working for him they became pals his wife and my grandma became pals#when they had kids my grandma would babysit and my mom would babysit and then i would be babysat by the girls my mom did she lived with us#for a while so yeah that’s the back story#she got pregnant while my mom was pregnant with my brother so mom had bro then a few months later i’ll call her m had her baby their name#was james and he became the newest member of the fam i visited them in the hospital when they were born and james and my bro became good pal#fast forward august 31st 2022 j passed away they did it themselves#friday was the service it was more of a celebration of life they already had the physical funeral and it was just immediate relatives#it was hard hearing their parents and their sister talk broke my heart#right after their sister spoke the music came back on and it was pilots it was the run and go and i broke down my sister had to go outside#it was really really fucking horrible to know that a queer kid i knew and loved died killed me#rewind to a few months ago my brother od’d on oxy he was in the hospital for 2 days it caused some physical damage to his heart enzymes#he got on antidepressants and a psychiatrist and seemed to be doing better#fast forward to saturday night he overdosed on street fentanyl he again went to the er and is now at a mental health center for a 72 hour#hold and after that we’re trying to find a rehab and mental health center#i grew up seeing what addiction does my uncle was a heroin addict from the time i was born until i was 16 or 17 so i saw some shit#and a lot of it fucked me up and i can’t see my brother go through that#my brother is the smartest mother fucker i know and fucking mental fucking illness fucking everything up like he earned 13 college credits#in 1 fucking day his japanese studies professor said my brother knew more than he did and fucking opiates fuck#and the sheriffs who searched his room found street fentanyl that they all had to have gloves bc it’s killing people in my town everyday#they said they literally get calls everyday because of this shit like i’m about to go find the piece of shit who sold it to him#and put my fucking 9 in his mouth and pull the trigger i’ll gladly go to prison for that tbfh#so that’s what happened with my brother and my non blood brother/cousin#now my fucking mom so she never goes to the doctor and me and my sister yell at her about it so she finally went to address her fucked up#neck and back well turns out she has degenerative disc disease same shit my grandma had basically her spine is crumbling#she also might have skin cancer and it could affect her throat and thyroid :) bc they saw something in her throat during her mri :) so fuck#and then there’s me and my crumbling jaw no joints without arthritis and brain tumor#and my sisters mental health is Not Good it hasn’t been for months and this is killing her and im so concerned for her#now all three siblings have been put on a 72 hour hold at some point :) sister at 12 or 13 me at 22(in there for my bday) now bro at 19
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hi lovie! could you do some percy (or leo, maybe both?? i love them sm hahaha) headcanons abt dating an aphrodite’s child?
I COMPLETELY LOVE THE IDEA OMG??? tysm for requesting anon <3
sorry if it’s not like you imagined it😭 it’s my first time with headcanons like that
dating percy as an aphrodite’s child would include . . .
okay you all gotta admit that if percy could, he would brag about his partner being so beautiful that no one can compete with them
i feel like he’s at the university and some guys are talking and he just waits for a chance to show you off and be like “they are literally a goddess’ child”
BUT IN FRONT OF YOU??? he’d get so awkward even if you were dating for so long
also i’m 100% sure annabeth would sometimes point it out and laugh at the way he turns into a hot mess around you
but tbh you thought it was cute, cus let’s be real. it’s percy jackson, if you weren’t a hot mess around him as well, who would you be?
if you two are sent on a mission together, he rarely thinks about himself first, always making sure you’re okay before he checks himself
in his dorm he probably has pictures of you sticked to the wall in like a heart shape and his roommates might make fun of him for being such a simp but those photos gives him strength whenever you two are apart 🔥
he’s all in for that relationship, he even officially introduced you to both his parents and paul
you taught him how to braid hair and whenever you stay at his mom’s he braid his sister’s hair under your supervision ☹️☹️
when he started dating you he probably became such a gossip guy LIKE hear me out, he started paying attention to details and people’s behavior to talk about it with you
“you won’t believe what i heard today from piper.” “nah, she didn’t told me about it directly, her body language did.”, “i know right, how could he do that to her?”
he’s all in for the tea‼️‼️‼️
OH and also when you began dating he started paying more attention to jewellery and his outfits upgraded so much??
HE IS ALSO SO JEALOUS OF YOU AND HE KISSES YOU IN PUBLIC WHEN HE CATCHES A GUY LOOKING YOUR WAY
“i know you’re a child of aphrodite but these people gotta know i am your ares. or hephaestus.” “wait, am i your ares or hephaestus?”
dating leo as an aphrodite’s child would include . . .
this man is head over heels for you, and i know i said percy also is head over heels for his partner but LEO is on different level
he often drags you to the bunker whenever he feels like it and make you sit there with him, while he crafts something (mostly for you)
that man dedicates all his work for you, like
“oh this? i made it for yn cus they said [insert thing] fall apart so i just… did it.”
ngl he is kind of insecure that you’d left him for a child of ares just like your mother did to his father. even though you reassure him he’s the one on your mind, it still stings him sometimes
getting an approval from your mom wasn’t even that hard as you thought it could be. though she wasn’t exactly the most delighted you were in love with her husband’s child but… love is love right?
pet names in spanish ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
n you would pick it up and surprise him by calling him something in spanish <3
EVEN THOUGH he’s insecure about history repeating itself he jokes about it way too much sometimes 😭😭
brags to jason about you so much jason wants to off himself and i am not kidding
he once asked you to charm-speak him just to see how it feels
“what? don’t be like that, mi amor. i gotta know what’s your power’s like in case you do it subconsciously.”
(that’s literally the dumbest excuse you’d ever hear but didn’t care, considering it was your boyfriend who asked)
MANY people says you remind them of charlie and silena and when you heard it for the first time, you broke down crying because it was such a good compliment
#percy jackson headcanon#percy jackson#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson au#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson fic#leo valdez fic#leo valdez headcanon#leo valdez headcanons#percy jackson headcanons#leo valdez x reader#leo valdez oneshot
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Flowers have sad meanings too
Florist!Y/N
Many believe that working in a flower shop is all gumdrops and rainbows, but it's not. It's stories of heartbreak and sadness. I wish I could remember their names, but I can't grieve every one of them. No matter how hard I try.
Author's Note: 3/8 of these mini tales are based on encounters I have had while working in my field. They are INSPIRED and not exact.
DISCLAIMER: ANY SIMILARITIES THESE ENTRIES HAVE TO A PERSON, PLACE, EVENT, OR SITUATION IS COINCIDENTAL AND NOT INTENDED TO MIMIC ANYONE.
WARNING: THIS PIECE TOUCHES ON DEATH AND ITS AFFECTS, SUBJECTS OF DEPRESSION, AND ASSUMED SU1C1D3. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO SUBJECTS LIKE THESE, PLEASE SKIP THIS POST.
Boy #1
He was a boy with his whole life ahead of him. His mother said that he was very protective of his siblings, so protective that it's what took him.
She said it was a break in, one that happened in the dead of night. She never heard it. All she heard was the sound of her daughter screaming for help as her husband tackled the man to the floor. She didn't even hear the gun go off.
He was on his way to college in the fall, full ride. He was very talented. They hope to release his works down the road, but for now, some things stay locked away. Not because they're bad or sad, but because the grief was too fresh.
Boy #2
He was an interesting story. A quiet kid that everyone thought was mean, but was a very sweet guy and an only child. He loved animals.
His flowers were ordered by his friends because his parents were too shattered by the news. One of them couldn't keep it together, ended up telling about him. He was off volunteering to help build houses when one of them collapsed on top of him and a few others. They came out with minor injuries, but he wasn't so lucky. They spew out so many things about his kind heart but stone-like demeanor. It hurt to see that it was also his undoing.
Other families came and ordered, many of them being young kids in the dance classes he taught. Many of the kids still not understanding why their favorite teacher wasn't coming back. His parents finally arrived to order, but my heart was too fragile to be there.
Boy #3
His sister wouldn't stop talking about how he had wanted to do a lot with his life. She said that he was going to the gym everyday to get stronger. He was a gentle soul, a loving gentleman. Sickness took him far too soon.
It started off with a bad cough and a fever, she said. Then it just kept getting worse. By the time he was eighteen, he was fully living in his hospital room. It broke her heart to see how he dwindled away until he was almost nothing but skin and bones. She was thankful that he went in his sleep, going painlessly.
She couldn't stop repeating that she felt like a bad sister, that she should've done more to help him recover. It broke me a little more on the inside when I couldn't tell her that it wasn't up to her to fix him. I could only stay silent.
Boy #4
Only one person ordered him flowers, but it was a lot of flowers. Other than his parents, this boy received flowers from dozens of people. Friends, teachers, acquaintances - you name it. They all ordered through one person as they were the only one in town.
The pieces were extravagant, ranging from small vases to large sprays. They said that they wanted to reflect him; an artist surrounded by colors. No one knows what took him; whether self or sickness. They just found him in his studio one cold winter morning, slumped over an unfinished painting.
They said he'll have a gallery set up after the service, show off the wonders he created. I might go. If not just to see a fellow tortured soul. One day, his name will be known alongside the greats. For now, he'll be known to me.
Boy #5
His flowers were ordered over the phone by his mother, said something about it becoming too final if she stepped into the store.
I heard about this boy on the news. They found him in his car, just off the highway. He was so young, but the demons got to him before anyone else could.
I could only sit silent as she cried in my ear, blaming herself for not helping him. Little does she know the demons live in everyone. Including mine.
Boy #6
This boy was proof that the brightest smiles hide the darkest demons. His sisters couldn't hold themselves together as I flipped through the binder. The older one said that she blamed herself, saying that she should've seen the signs.
He went as he slept, passing in silence. She said that he had been bullied for years, but since he stopped talking about it, they assumed it stopped. They found him gone in the morning. I can never understand how some people find it acceptable to be so harsh to another.
They showed me his photo. He had a bright smile, one that was even wider with his family. It almost breaks my very soul that he suffered alone.
Boy #7
This was my first family order. The poor family was lost due to a faulty monoxide detector. The remaining members were in the middle of suing the landlord on top of mourning the family.
They didn't know until the son failed to show up for school for three days, unlike him they said. Same for the parents.
The boy was said to start high school next year. They were all excited since he would be attending the private school near the edge of town, one that was hard to get into without good grades. Now, the world could never see what he would amount to.
Boy #8
He was a child.
No mother should ever be allowed to outlive her baby. He was innocent, a victim of medical circumstance. They never said what he had, but they ordered him a beautiful urn display.
His younger brother, one still so small, would almost never know about the brother who left too early. His older brother was deployed, but is in an emergency flight back over to give his good byes.
A child...goodness.
#kpop fanfic#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#skz fic#skz imagines#skz au#skz fanfic#skz x reader#stray kids texts#stray kids text imagines#skz angst
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To be loved (17/01/2024)
omg it’s been so long since i’ve last written, i feel rusty. pls donate ideas if you have some to spare and enjoy!!
How I wish I could be loved. How I wish to be able to go home to a person who’d love and treasure me, as I just into their arms with no care in the world. And they’d spin me around and give me a kiss. How wonderful is that. And how I wish to be able to experience that heavenly feeling of bliss.
Dancing around the ballroom, I see your silhouette on the balcony, I walked over, and as I made way to you, I had to resist the urge to fangirl over such a piece of art. How could a man be so gorgeous? How could he be simply perfect?
I made my way over to you, and as if the moon was shining right onto us, I turned over to you and saw you holding a cup of champagne, taking big, big sips from the cup.
“Hello, dear sir, how are you enjoying tonight?”
“I am well, thank you.”
“Would you care to have a dance with me? Because I would like a dance with you.”
The gentleman turned to make eye contact with me. You looked creeped out. I understand, I’m a stranger to you after all, but why do you look at me with such disgust? I can’t understand, so I kept on asking you if you would like to dance with me, but there was simply no response.
Then your gaze. It was so beautiful, I could dream about it all day. Those blue eyes that I could stare into and feel like I’m standing next to the ocean, as strong wind blows into my face. Oh, now I wish to have one more dance with you. But for now, just one. I won’t be greedy.
When you gave me your answer, it was a simple no. How I wished it was a joke, and that you’d ask me to dance again. and you go like “My lady would you care to dance with me?” but you didn’t.
As I left the ball with regret, I couldn’t help but keep thinking of those captivating eyes, your eyes. And I wished that I could see you again.
Why can’t I be the one in your arms? I wish to be the one you hold, treasure and live for. Every moment I’d imagine your kisses trailing down my neck, and you’re desperate. As if I was your one and only divine goddess like how I should be.
My imagination gradually slowing down as all my dreams and desires shattered, making my heart break into pieces like the broken mirror in front of me. Light rays reflecting everywhere as I knelt down and cried out tears of pain, for hours and hours until I can’t anymore. My eyes were swollen and limbs were numb, I just sat emotionless for days and hoped that it was all a daydream.
The fact that you were engaged to my sister instead of me broke my heart. my parents explained that this was not intentional, but my sister looked like she did this on purpose, like how she was trying to humiliate me every time I achieve something. And I hope to have achieved you first, but I didn’t. Instead, she has you too now.
It’s not like I know your name or you know mine, but it’s the fact that I just wanted something that belonged to me. And only me. Someone who would treasure me and love me forever, someone who wouldn’t abandon me or give me up when the situation is hard, someone who will comfort me when times are hard, someone who wouldn’t compare me to my sister at all… Someone like you.
Oh… The feeling to be loved. I don’t think I can feel this at all, I don’t have you nor anyone to share all these complicated feelings with. Dear God, if you hear me. I only wish to have a person who would be by my side and love me. That is all I ask for. Will you grant me this simple wish and bring you to me?
I prayed and prayed every day, hoping that one day you’d show up at my room door and say that you wanted to marry me instead. But every day I waited and waited. You were nowhere to be seen.
So I picked up reading, I read a series and another, and another in the family library, simply hoping to bump into you in there, so we could talk, talk about how you married my sister instead of me, or not. And I actually did bump into you. You smiled and waved towards me, you asked me what I was reading, and that was the first time you willing talked to me. I was overjoyed.
Then the next day, I saw you waiting for me in the library. I don’t know if I should feel at ease about your situation with my sister as you guys were just engaged but not married. But all I could do is smile and let it all go, while hoping for the best.
We talked about books from historical to romance to fantasy, basically every genre. And I loved every moment with you. I feel like you will be happy with me too. The way you looked at me was still different from how you look at my sister. How your eyes were filled with love when you look at her.
So all I could do is sit at the library, then talk to you and look as you go back to my sister. Hoping that you guys won’t last.
Thankfully, you didn’t. And I found out your name was Satoru Gojo. When you got your heartbroken, I was the one that you came running into, in tears. I know what you’re feeling, it was the same when I heard the news about you and my sister.
Oh, how I wish to be loved. How I wish to be loved by you. When you told me that you loved me instead of my sister, and all that loving towards my sister was an act, I could just cover my mouth and feel my stomach explode with butterflies.
“Really?” I muttered out, in shock. and I saw the corners of your mouth lift slowly into a smile, and then you nodded.
I threw my arms over you, and you let me.
The feeling of love and the feeling of home. I couldn’t thank the heavens enough for you and for your love.
Now every day, I can just lie in bed with you, as you read my favourite stories to me. It was my dream come true, and I wish it can last forever. My feeling of love. And the feeling to be loved.
master list
#jujutsu kaisen#drabble#jjk#gojo satoru#gojo and you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#satoru gojo#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#yayayay
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Could we maybe get you ocs with a childhood friend darling 👀
Yanderes with childhood friend darling.
Omg! This such a good idea thank you! I was really short of ideas.
You and AJ grew up together. You knew how much AJ loved playing guitar. You saw AJ date others and break up with others, but at the end of the day AJ always was your childhood friend. AJ is a bit of a man whore, dating women and men constantly only to break up with them the next day. You knew AJ changed from the sweet little blonde kid next door. You knew AJ wasn't the same kid who you brought soup to when she had a severe illness that would have killed them.
AJ would only start feeling the effects of the bond hard when he turned 18. AJ has always felt the bond, but it was there sense he was little. He thought it was normal. AJ gets really over protective, and a bit possessive having lost so much. "My dad left me behind, my mom left me behind, my brother left me behind, but you won't, right?"
You knew how much of a softy Kuro was. You were middle school sweet hearts as Kuro realized, 1 your his mate, and 2 he loved you. You would hear him complain about how Samira was messing with his work, and how he hated his sisters marriage to Princess Dina.
He clings to you when alone and acts like a koala. After a long day of drug dealing, Killing, and blackmailing. He comes how and see a candy he and AJ loved as kids and his heart just melts.
You and Samira grew up in what most would call, a shady neighborhood. You would often find her beating up a kid who looked at you funny or talking to Kuro and different ways to quickly load a gun. She uses sarcasm alot and doesn't like being home with her dad.
She is quicker to trust you and quicker to be soft with you. She's more open with a childhood friend darling and Samira loves that you already. Know her. She will give you more freedom than normal darling.
She grew up in a high class family, so you probably were also high class, or friends with Ash, one of her few friends. She was a very sheltered kid so she would probably not talk to you as much till middle school. When she finds out your her mate she is very protective and caring.
She would treat a childhood darling and a normal darling about the same. Very lovey dovey, clingy, and very obsessive.
Sam lived in a small cabin in the woods. There were very few cabins nearby. Most were older couples without kids or whose kids were already grown. When she finds you, someone the same age she gets excited and hangs out with you. She probably shows you around the forest, and some magic.
She would love a childhood friend darling. Someone who already knows about her magic and lives close by. You most definitely will have a clingy witch near you always.
Dina is a princess so your either a royal, or a servant. If you were a royal than you probably would get engaged to her early on in arranged marriage due to her asking her parents to do so. If your a servant than she'll make sure you can't leave and give you simple tasks that won't take to much of your time, so you can spend it with her.
She probably married you early on. She will give you the best everything, and unlike normally will take you to meetings or to do work, as you are queen. She will be spending almost all her time with you and her work.
Ashley was a very popular kid. She knew you stood out among her friends and spent as much time as she could with you. If you know a instrument she will love it. She dated someone before they broke up, because she knew it wasn't the right fit.
She will take you with her band everywhere. You and Zarah are also friends and hang out often. She is much more lenient with a childhood friend darling. She trusts you more as you've stuck with her this long why stop. She still is over protective though and yells at others when they're to close.
#yandere#yandere oc#my oc#yan#yandere x reader#fem yandere#my oc aj#my oc ava#my oc kuro#yandere male#male yandere#yandere princess#yan witch#my oc dina#my oc samantha
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Hi! I really liked your dad!jake stories and I've got an idea for an alternative version of Picasso (Specifically PT 2) where The reader ends up feeling really insecure and starts changing everything about herself, like she removes the color from her hair And doesn't even do her art anymore, and even begins to talk less and less and starts to just avoid people until Jake confronts her about it comforts her
I'm a sucker for hurt/comfort with dad!Jake lmao If you do take this idea could you tag me in it if you don't mind? :))
Oooh I love this idea <3, I literally wrote this during my planning period so I apologize if it isn't the best. Anyways dad!jake warms my heart, I wish he was real :(
Picasso P.II-Alternate Ending
Your dad was the first to notice you changing and not for the better since arriving at the island. It started with the removal of the pink from your hair which wouldn't have been a big deal until he asked if you wanted to put color back in and you shook your head no before he even got the question out of his mouth.
"Hey is everything alright with your sister?" He asked your twin.
"I haven't noticed anything different about her yet but I can keep an eye on her." He offered as your dad nodded his head.
The next red flag was that you stopped doing your art completely which neteyam brought to his attention. It had started when Tuk asked you to help her draw something and you said no poor Tuk didn't understand so neteyam stepped in and you bit his head off about it before leaving and leaving your siblings confused.
"She just snapped at us." Neteyam said to your parents concerned.
Your parents looked at your room in concern as your siblings told them about your changing behavior and tried to figure out what was going on.
"Give her some space maybe she is just having a hard time adjusting to the situation." Neytiri said but your dad couldn't help but feel like something deeper was happening.
And he was right just as your siblings told him a few days ago, you truly stopped doing art which made him sad to see because you were just so talented in his eyes and he didn't understand what was happening with you.
The final red flag was when you started avoiding everyone and talking less. Your dad noticed that you were less talkative with everyone but especially him, it was like you were closing yourself off from the world.
Your dad had enough and was planning on talking to you about it when you got home only when he returned he could hear your cries.
"Babygirl?" He asked stepping into your room.
All he saw was your tears before you ran into his arms and wrapped them around his waist making him concerned as he comforted you.
"It's okay baby girl, I'm right here." He said as your tears finally stopped and your breathing started to mellow out.
"I don't fit in here Dad...ever since we got here I've been picked on about my hair, my art, and just everything and I thought that maybe if I stopped doing that stuff I could fit in....but it still didn't work they still picked on me and I didn't want to say anything because it seemed like Neteyam and lo'ak we're adjusting fine...so I that kept it to myself but I can't do it anymore." You said as your father's heart broke.
"I just want to fit in." You said quietly snapping your dad out of his thoughts.
"Look at me baby, you were born to fit in. You were born to stand out...the hair color... the art.... everything about you is born to stand out you're not supposed to be like me or your mother or your siblings....you are supposed to be your own person...and I know it's hard right now and I know what you are going through right now but don't conform....show them who you truly are...because the right ones will love you for it." Your dad said staring into your eyes as you nodded your head.
"I love you baby and the next time you are even remotely feeling like this, I want you to come to tell me, I don't want you to ever suffer in silence again, you hear me?" He asked you.
"I do. I love you, Dad, thank you." You said hugging him and feeling him squeeze you a little tighter.
A few hours later, you were passed out in your dad's lap from all the crying when your family had come back for the evening...all laughing until they saw you and your dad and instantly shut up not wanting to disturb you.
"Is she okay?" Your mom asked taking a seat next to your dad, running a hand through your hair.
"She will be. Turns out some of the islanders had been making some comments about her and she took it to heart..she just wanted to fit in." Your dad said as your mom frowned not realizing her daughter had been hurting so much.
"Oh, my sweet girl." She said placing a kiss in your hair.
"You two..." Your dad said but they stopped him.
"Already on it..no one hurts her and gets away with it...but tomorrow let's spend the evening with her." Neteyam said taking a seat on the other side of your dad as your siblings gathered around you to make sure you felt how loved you were.
You smiled a small smile to yourself hearing all the kind words your family had to say about you and your uniqueness maybe being different was a good thing after all.
#dad!jakesully#dad!jake sully x reader#dad!jake x daughter!reader#dad!jake#mom!neytiri x reader#sully!reader#sully family#sully family x reader#avatar the way of water
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Big Brother
Pairing: Jake Hangman Seresin x Little sister! reader
Summary: Your brother has always been protective of you, when you come to see him after four years, you realize how lucky you are to have him in your life. He might be arrogant to everyone else but you were and are his world, no matter what he has your back.
Warnings: Mentions of medical disqualification (No medical diagnosis mentioned. Something like this can be as small as migraines)
You glanced at your phone and at the name of the bar, The Hard Deck. You were surprising your big brother by visiting him where he was stationed. Now that you were here, you were second guessing yourself. He hasn’t been able to see see you in person since you were fifteen. Now that you were nineteen, you wondered if he really wanted to talk to you as much as he seemed to over the phone.
You took a deep breath, “Get it together Seresin. You know he loves you, just walk in and find him,” you muttered to yourself.
You walked in and looked around, bumping into a tall man with a mustache. You blushed, “I am so sorry!” you chuckled. He grinned, “Careful there!” he told you and you vaguely recognized the voice from over your brothers calls. “Not to sound weird but are you Rooster?” you asked him, taking in the pornstache and awful Hawaiian shirt. He raised a brow, “Yes? And you are?” He asked cautiously.
Before you could say anything, you were picked up and swung around. “Duckling! You didn’t tell me you would be visiting me!” Jake said, hugging you close. You clung to your older brother happily, “It’s called a surprise you Goober!” you laughed.
Jake placed a kiss to your cheek, "God! You've grown up so much duckling. Not so small anymore" he smiled. He was a whole different person then the cocky man everyone knew. "That's called not seeing me in four years dumbass," you laughed, he mockingly gasped "Does Mama know you talk like that?" He grinned, "Learned it from you!" You smiled.
A woman with dark hair came over, "Bagman, care to introduce us?" She asked. "Yeah, you have a kid?" Coyote asked. You gagged and pushed Jake away who was doing the same, "Guys, this is my baby sister, Y/n" he said. The guy with glasses chuckled, "Y/n? Y/n the one you wouldn't shut up about how proud of her you were when you were drunk?" He asked. Jake shot him a look, "Shut it Bob, you'll inflate her ego" he said. You furrowed your brows, “Proud of me?” you whispered so quiet that you didn’t think he could hear you. He looked down and his heart broke at the lost look on your face, “Let’s go outside kid, I’ll introduce you to everyone tomorrow when they’re sober,” he said, cutting them all looks.
He brought you outside, “I want to catch up with you without all those morons!” He joked, you rolled your eyes, “But you love them. Can’t hide that from me, you know that!” you smiled. You both walked on the beach for a little while, just catching up. “So, how are you holding up?” he asked finally, making you look at him in confusion. He sat on the sand and pulled you down with him, “I know what happened, I know you didn’t back out like Mom and Dad claim,” he said. Your chest tightened and you looked down, your parents were angry when Jake ran off to the Navy but were worse when you tried, they rubbed it in when you had been medically disqualified from joining. “Okay... Just upset,” you shrugged, tears burning your eyes. Since you were little, you dreamed of being like your big brother, you shared the love for the skies with him.
He pulled you into a hug as you finally broke down, “I tried so hard! I did everything right. I got the scores on the testing, I had the right grades, I was physically fit! But none of my waivers passed,” you whimpered into his shoulder. He held you close, “How long have you been sitting with this?” he asked you, “Almost a year, I only just started to be able to talk about it,” you smiled tearfully.
Most would see it as an overreaction because it was ‘just a military job’ but you dreamed about it. It was as if people that went to college did everything they were supposed to but then were told that they couldn’t do it after working so hard. No one having their dreams ripped away from them at such a young age should be expecting to swallow their hurt and jump right back on the horse the moment they crashed. “But, I’m going back to school! I found a new path!” you smiled, pulling yourself out of the sorrow in a classic Seresin fashion. “I’m actually moving down here, going to a college near, I needed to be away from Mom and Dad,” you told him.
The biggest smile broke through his face, “Seriously?” he asked and you nodded, he pulled you in for a tight hug. Now that he was stationed there to teach and keep the dream team together, he could be with his baby sister as often as possible.
The next day, you got to meet all of his friends and even Maverick. You were shaking your head as he would call Maverick ‘Pops’. At one point, you broke from Jake for a moment and whispered to Maverick, “He means it endearingly. Our father is either Dad or Father. Thank you for being there for him,” you said and then you were gone before Maverick could react.
Everyone saw how protective of you he was, he would be watching you to make sure you were okay and he was the sweetest man ever. They were just starting to see the real Jake recently but with you here, he was coming out a lot faster. He was telling you the missions that he would without revealing classified details and they saw you hung onto every word. He was obviously the person you loved and looked up to the most.
He also openly bragged about all your accomplishments like a proud parent should, despite being your big brother.
As you stayed nearby, they all learned to love you like big siblings also. (Did not make your dating life hard at all...)
They were also the loudest at your college graduation years later. You were shocked because they were all supposed to be on a mission but suddenly, eight naval aviators were in their dress uniforms in the crowd, cheering as loud as possible. If a F-18 suddenly went out for a joy ride that night, not much was said because everyone at TOP GUN also adored you.
Taglist:
@peaches-and-sunshine
@natasharomanoffisbaebby
@sweetheartlizzie07
@lollypop90907
@the-hottest-lieutenants
@jamiedontbeacracko
@fandomstanner24
@casperlikej
@lyn07
@luckyladycreator2
#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun: maverick#jake hangman seresin x reader#jake hangman seresin x sister reader#jake seresin x sibling reader
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Kpop Self Insert Oc || the beginning
hi guys... have this while I rewrite my smau chpt for the 3rd time... tumblr hates me fr
12 Jan 2022 - The beginning
Soyeon~ Good evening everyone. Today we are debuting our first album, “Oneriophilia”. The title track is “Star Child” and it is written for the children who feel like they never belonged. Our message is that the stars shine for you.
12 January 2022. The debut of Oneiria. The revelation of the nation’s hidden gems.
Host~ Oneiria is Pledis Entertainment’s newest K-pop band. They are one of the only coed K-pop bands out there, with their leader being Kim Soyeon, who I have here with me today.
A new chapter in the world of K-pop was born. On January 12, 2022, Oneiria emerged onto the K-pop stage with a debut that would capture hearts and shatter boundaries. Their very first album, “Oneriophilia,” took the world by storm.
9 Mar 2022 - 1st Live concert~ Oneriophilia
Jisoo~ Thank you for all the love! I hope you enjoyed the concert!
Jiho~ Have a safe trip home!
Minseok~ Hope you enjoyed the concert.
Soyeon~ Thanks for coming. We are Oneiria.
The crowd cheers as Oneiria disappears backstage.
17 Mar 2022 - 1st Interview~ Getting to know Oneiria
Interviewer~ Congratulations on the success of your debut album, “Oneirophilia”. Can you share with us what inspired your debut album’s concept and title track, “Star Child”?
Jisoo~ I was bullied in junior high and I always felt like I didn’t belong. But luckily I had my sister. I produced the songs in this album for the kids who didn’t have anyone by their side to know that we, Oneiria, are by their side.
Interviewer~ How has the journey been for Oneiria since your debut? What have been the most memorable moments so far?
Soyeon~ It wasn’t easy. Jisoo and I… our parents disapproved of us becoming idols. They wanted me to become a lawyer, and him a doctor.
Jisoo~ Fortunately, Soyeon-noona managed to convince them.
Minseok~ Noona also went to help me negotiate with my parents to let me pursue this dream. It’s thanks to her that Oneiria exists.
Interviewer~ Can you tell us about your experience performing your first concert? What was the energy like, and how did it feel to see your fans in the audience?
Jiho~ I never expected to be so… loved by fans. I thought we’d be dancing and performing in silence, but our fanbase is huge! It was truly amazing.
Jisoo~ When they told us our concert sold out completely, I almost broke down.
Interviewer~ Ahhh how emotional! You’ve recently released “Star Child,” which won an award. How did you feel when you heard about the award, and what did it mean to you as a group?
Soyeon~ Jisoo cried. Minseok cried. Jiho screamed. Our hard work all truly paid off.
Interviewer~ That’s great to hear! Let’s talk about your stage names. What made you choose the stage names Astra, Mirage, and the others, and how do they relate to your individual personalities?
Jisoo~ Astra was the name of my toy lion when I was growing up. It sounded cute so I went with it.
Minseok~ Mirage was cool. I’m a genius for coming up with that
Jiho~ No he used a random name generator.
Interviewer~ [laughs] Kim Jisoo, you’re also involved in production. Can you share your creative process when working on music for Oneiria.
Jisoo~ I just come up with melodies and save them into my phone. When I feel like writing a song, I just choose one and expand it. I have over 40 tunes on my phone right now.
Interviewer~ That’s amazing… Park Jiho, tell us about the training and hard work that goes into perfecting your dance moves.
Jiho~ My uncle was a dance teacher so he taught me everything I know. I’ve always loved dancing and hard work and dedication are what shaped me into the dancer I am today. There’s no easy way to do things.
Interviewer~ Each of you has a unique role in the group. If you had to switch roles with another member for a day, who would it be, and why?
Jisoo~ Soyeon-noona. I want to take the weight of everything off her shoulders for once. She’s always so selfless but that’s also her flaw. I want her to know that her younger brothers are always here for her. [Park Jiho & Park Minseok nod in agreement and Soyeon smiles sadly.]
Interviewer~ Fans are often curious about your music tastes. Who’s your favourite K-pop group, and who's your bias there?
Soyeon~ My favourite K-pop group will probably be Seventeen. My bias there is… [Looks to their manager for permission] Dino-sunbaenim.
Interviewer~ Oh really? Dino, your senior in Pledis Entertainment?
Soyeon~ I admire his dancing abilities. Out of the members of Oneiria, I’m the worst dancer.
Jiho~ She also likes his scenes in the ‘Rock with You’ MV. [Teasing]
Jisoo~ Woozi-hyung is also my idol.
Interviewer~ It’s great to hear that you’re fans of Seventeen and that you admire Dino’s dancing skills, Soyeon. You all seem to have a deep appreciation for their work. Speaking of, Soyeon, I can’t help but notice that you mentioned Dino’s scenes in music videos. Is there a particular reason those scenes stand out to you? Could there be more to this admiration than just dance skills?
Soyeon~ [Slightly flustered, with a warm smile] Oh, well, you know, it’s just... Dino-sunbaenim is incredibly talented, and I find his dancing and stage presence captivating. There’s no deeper meaning to it. [She laughs] We’re just colleagues in the same entertainment family, after all.
Interviewer~ Is that so? Well, how would you feel if I asked Dino about you in their upcoming interview?
Soyeon~ [laughs] We’re in the same company but I doubt he’d know who I am. We’re a group that’s just starting. I’d be surprised if he knew us.
24 Mar 2022 - Seventeen’s follow-up interview
Interviewer~ Speaking of fans, Dino, do you know you’ve got one special fan in Oneiria?
Dino~ I do?
Interviewer~ It’s none other than Soyeon, the leader of Oneiria, herself! Let’s watch this clip from our recent interview.
The other members begin to tease Dino. The clip plays.
Dino~ [Slightly flustered, smiles bashfully] Well, that’s unexpected, but it’s nice to hear such kind words. [Clears throat] Soyeon-hoobae, I appreciate your support, and I admire your work too. It’s all about artists encouraging each other, right?
Mingyu~ [Grinning mischievously] Oh, Dino, it seems you’ve got a fan in Oneiria!
Scoups~ [Teasing] Our Dino’s a heartthrob now! Who would’ve thought?
Wonwoo~ [Playfully] Dino, do you have any favourite moments from Oneiria's songs?
Dino~ [Still blushing] Uhm, well, I think “Serenades” is a great song. Their debut album was fantastic.
Hoshi~ [Smirking] You can’t forget that dance practice video they did. I saw you watching that, Dino-ya.
DK~ [Joining in] Yeah, Dino-ya, you were really into that video!
Dino~ [Flustered and chuckling] Hyung, it was just a good dance practice, that’s all!
Seungkwan~ [Teasing relentlessly] It sounds like someone’s got a new favourite group!
The8~ [Teasing] I think Dino is turning into a Star Sailor.
Jun~ [Chuckling] It’s always nice to know that fellow artists appreciate your work.
The8~ Dino, will you show off your dance moves to her?
Joshua~ [Laughs] I'm sure they’d love to see that!
Dino~ [Blushing deeper] Hyung! Let’s focus on the interview!
Jeonghan~ [Winks at Dino] Don't worry, Dino, we’ll make sure to let them know you’re a fan of Oneiria’s music.
Seungkwan~ [Teasing] We’re all watching for those future dance collaborations!
Dino~ Please stop…
tags! @fairyofhour @megseungmin @sun-daddy-yoriichi @woozixo @euphoric-univers @christinewithluv @haowonbins @ocyeanicc @asyre @cynthiaaax13 @superhoshisvt @bangantokchy @chimmy-bts @angelarin @daisawa @writingbarnes @jeonghansshitester
@belladaises @wonwootakemyheart @wonwooz1 @luchiet @kookssecret @caratsland @peachescreamandcrumble @thepoopdokyeomtouched @isabellah29 @leah-rose03 @yandere-stories @coupshour @heesbees @hamji-hae @hyuckxtagram
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Hope its okay if i just talk here
Honestly the most confirming part of what ive seen from other queer church members is the reminder that humans, even ones called of God, are flawed. That the church is not currently in line with the practices of the ancient church or even all of Jesus’s teachings! I know I don’t have a safe ward to attend in person right now, but I’d like to think that maybe,,, maybe when I get to heaven all the people who told queer people that God hates them will all be standing in a little line of shame as our Heavenly Parents point and say “now go apologize.”
I’m still struggling so much my (lack of) gender and all that,,, but I think I’m finally starting to regain hope that maybe it’s fine if they hate me and kick me out. As long as I follow God’s commandment to loveand serve His children unconditionally, I can’t go wrong, right?
I went to the temple recently and it was the most nerve wracking day I’ve had in years. I removed all of my flag pins and left them at home and my hands shook so badly when I gave the desk guy my recommend to scan because I felt like they’d somehow sense my queerness or that I’d be struck by lightning or something. I love the temple so much, two of my fondest memories revolve around tending to the flowers outside singing I Love to See the Temple for an activity when I was ten and going to an open house and seeing the Celestial Room and it broke my heart that even when I was being baptized for my ancestors I couldn’t stop shaking because flawed people had drilled it into me that God hates me because of the way He made me.
I hope that God will rebuke His apostles and set things right soon. I think right now He’s trying to teach us that we must find our own way through personal revelation, and not blindly follow the uninspired, narrow-minded words spoken from the pulpit… but I miss being able to feel the Spirit without feeling like a traitor and wondering if I ever know what the Spirit feels like.
I go to church and I sit in the pew and my mind wanders during the sacrament and I take it even though I don’t feel worthy because I’m terrified of what will be brought to light if anyone notices. I turn my jacket out to cover my pride pins even though most of my ward is too old to recognize them. I try so hard not to cry when someone calls me Sister and comments on my dress or asks me if I’ve tried dating yet. I sit in primary and sing and teach the children and I don’t hide my pins because I want them to grow up seeing queer people in the church, but I still don’t talk about it because even if it’s a calling I want out of asap, I’m scared that people will say I’m corrupting the kids and rip me away because they think my existence is vile.
I want to go to church and sit alone in a pew and wear a suit and my young women’s medallion and I want to hear my real name and I want it to be normal. I hope we get to that point soon.
I was recently reminded that although we’ve made progress in this church, there is a long ways to go. We’re often asked to censor ourselves and hide ourselves so as to keep others comfortable. Homophobes and transphobes are welcomed and their comfort maintained. Same is true of racists, they don’t face discipline for their attitude or things they say. It’s backwards from how it should be.
I won’t say those types of attitudes don’t bother me, but I have taken the position that Jesus knows me and given me a special invitation. These other people can’t take that away.
Sounds like you, too, understand you’re known and loved by God.
I love you teach Primary.
I’m sorry the temple was difficult, it is a gendered space. I used to wonder if the angels who are said to guard the temple would find a way to force me out because I’m gay. That has never happened. God knows I’m gay and is fine with that and loves me. I think there is no reason I shouldn’t be allowed or welcomed at the temple. I choose not to go because of the heteronormativity included in the rituals which reminds me I don’t truly fit in this church.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, queer people are the bravest people I know. Even if we sometimes have to hide our Pride pins or not ask others to use our pronouns, we still choose to go into those unsafe spaces because we want to be there.
We’re like the woman at the beginning of Jesus’ ministry who insisted He bless her daughter even though Jesus at first declined because she wasn’t a Jew. She made the argument that even dogs get to eat the scraps, and Jesus declared her faith to be great and gave the blessing. We know we’re worthy of all God offers and yet sometimes have to beg for scraps at church
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One Hundred Five. Part 3
Chris went to have a smoke which I am not mad at, I don’t blame him for feeling the way he does but I don’t want him to think that he can’t talk about it because he can and I want him too, but I will be patient with him, he is clearly struggling with it “do you worry about him?” Sade asked “worry yes, he is a hard ass at times, but he really is soft. He has a big heart and he’s been hurt so many times, I worry about him. His safety, he is very open with people and people aren’t nice. Now that he is becoming famous in his own right I want him to be careful, but he refuses to be, I have to be there to make sure he has security so yeah. I worry, when you pick at Chris you see what is inside him and he isn’t this bad boy” I laughed “and you have seen that, this is what keeps you with him isn’t it?” nodding my head “I know his heart, so I know what he is, people looking in see he is being terrible, he is being this, but they don’t see what I see. I will love him to the day I die, and I can’t even change that. Erm, I know someone, well he’s a family friend. He sees the future and he said that he saw I would leave him if he didn’t change and I would have another child with or without him, it bugged me because without him? I couldn’t” shaking my head “I see the love there but when you came to me, you had enough. When the person is pushed they will Rihanna so at the point where you are pushed you would, I think the marriage and relationship between you both can be fixed and will be fixed” nodding my head “so how are you mentally? Are you feeling better within yourself?” she asked “I am very happy with me, I am happy with where I am at, the breakdown that I went through happened and I needed it. I push myself to be perfect, when that doesn’t exist. I am not perfect but living under that light and” I paused “to open up to Chris the way I did and telling him one of the most horrible things that happened to me and for him to love me, it lifted me. It showed him a different side and then made him aware of why I am the way I am, he has been so understanding and for him to love me no matter what, I love him even more” my voice broke “I am not crying” I said laughing trying to stop myself “this is very good, communication is key. Opening yourself up to him shows him you want him in your life, holding back pushes him. This, what you told him makes the bond you both have stronger, it shows and it’s light hearted too, heavy heart weighs the relationship down, and you are so open, you want to be there for him, the best progress” I laughed putting my head down, she is right.
Chris sat back down, he was longer than he was “I am ready” he said, not even any context at all “and I am here, let’s talk” Sade said “I ain’t going to front and lie on my mom because that would be bullshit, my mom was there for me. I was so loved as a child, I had two parents, a home, a sister that was there. Prospects, life was good. I grew up well, I had my cousins there. We was good, happy. And I can’t say that I grew up how Robyn did, I can’t say that because I didn’t. I had love from my mom, and my dad even if he had a second life. He was there, he was home. I did hear some disagreements here and there, but I cannot say I grew up in a bad place, I didn’t. Robyn was there for some time; she saw my family home. She saw how we was; she was in awe. She was jealous, but like looking back, you see the cracks. Looking back you see that my parents has a lot of issues, I did hear shouting, they didn’t really have money, if I was rich I wouldn’t have done what I done, I wouldn’t have sold drugs, being real, I wouldn’t have but I did because I needed money, we needed money. Not knowing that my dad had a whole child and life elsewhere, I never did get why a man that works didn’t have money but erm, yeah. I went to jail, and I think me, my life at home changed. I came home a changed man and I think I came home a broken man you know; I just wasn’t the same and I never really was the same. Anybody wouldn’t be the same if they nearly died, and getting jumped, it’s been a lot but then things have always been a lot, then I met Robyn and she like we discussed met the other version of me and she expected the past me and that messed us up a lot, I see the mistakes but then at the same time my family in VA was breaking down, everything that I knew was a lie, I bought. With the help of Robyn a nice home for them, because I wanted them to be good. Robb, the cousin that hates me, he would want to kill me. He is around, they been getting threats, so I moved them to a better area. Robyn did that, she let me do it. It was a good moment to do that for them, I was happy. My wife is happy, my mom, my dad. We getting on, then it switched. And it started when erm Robyn took my mom to Barbados” he rubbed his face thinking.
“Yeah so it started from there, my mother saw the way Robyn had her family, the home she has got them is beautiful. It’s magical I would say, my mother in law told her things she has, does and all this stuff. Then as time went on she created this hateful narrative and then started to hate my wife, she has it in her mind that Robyn has changed me, she made me choose between my wife and her. I chose my wife because no mother does that, she did all this sick stuff with the home we bought her, and then revealed all these secrets about my dad, and my sister not being my dad’ and now they are divorced. They stayed together for me pretty much. I feel like everything that has happened, is my fault because she made me feel that way, it’s hurtful to me but she doesn’t see that. I saw her just today actually and she said the kids aren’t mine, Robyn is a bad person. She manipulates me, she knows that I hate to feel small, and Robyn knows I do because of how I spoke to her in the past. But we are working on that, I feel she is making me back track, she wants me to hate Robyn and asked me to choose her. But I won’t ever do that, just a shit situation” least he is speaking on it “how does that make you feel that you have to choose Chris? Does Rihanna make you choose or is it just your mom?” Sade asked “erm, not really but at one point she did say it’s me or my mom, but I had to do it, she was too much” Sade squinted her eyes “did you openly choose your wife?” nodding his head “it was hard, but I did it, like now. I think I made the best decision” Chris smiled at me “did you have to choose between your mom and your wife before?” he nodded his head “this narrative has been going on for a while actually, she is so weird my mom” Sade pointed at him “do you feel like you have lashed out at Rihanna because of this, because this is a lot of stress on you and you do take it out on your loved ones” Chris sighed out “I mean yes, I have lashed out on Robyn because of it, I do feel bad but I want to change and I feel like my mom is trying to fuck that up” Chris looked at me and I just looked away.
“Chris it is ok to express that you are starting to feel that way” I mean he did bite at me “I did, I was snapping at Robyn when she asked. I don’t mean to do it but you know” he shrugged “that is because you feel backed up in a corner with the fact you had to choose, you wanted your mom to accept the offering of just you, and she didn’t want that. Maybe Chris she just wants what is around you, being spiteful is the only way to get you to break and be upset because she knows you, she knows the cracks in the marriage, she knows you will go home and take it out on others around you but we all learn, you saw what you was doing, you saw that what you was doing was wrong so you stopped yourself, and for that I am proud of you. I am sure Rihanna is too” nodding my head “he stopped himself, I saw it in him. I like that he could do that, I appreciate it” I said “there is a lot to go through and I think we need to give you time to digest what is happening. So I am going to book you in for some time, you can have Rihanna here or alone. It’s hard for you, I can see you are struggling so pushing yourself to talk about it is no good either” maybe it’s my fault, I pushed him to speak on it but I didn’t think he would come in and speak.
I come with back up, I come back with Chris “I am sorry but I am not dealing with these kids alone so you can help” Chris pulled a face “man, is that all I am to you? I want something out of this” rolling my eyes “sure” he ain’t getting shit from me “Junior, what on earth” he is yanking at the baby gate “good, this is your problem now” Mel said “I can see that, Junior move back. Let me come in” I said, he is wanting to get out “mommy” he whined out “I know, I am home now. Thank you so much Mel, I am back now. With back-up” Mel laughed “Chris? I will see you in the morning then” I laughed picking up Junior “he is going back” turning to Chris “I came for some pussy” he said, hitting his arm “stop it” he is so stupid “Imani is asleep but the other two, good luck” I blew out air, I guess I need to speak to them “thank you again” walking off “what I want you to do, I want you to go into my bedroom. We need to be strict Chris, no laughing. I will bring them; you are literally the back-up. So don’t play around” he being goofy with Junior “Chris, stop it. Please” he laughed “ok, I got you. I am going to the bedroom now” I am stood outside Tianna room, opening the bedroom door “I am going to sleep!” she half shouted “I didn’t ask, get out of bed and come with me” she turned in her bed so quick seeing me “out now, come” stepping out of her bedroom and going to Rylee’ room, I don’t know what these girls are playing at. Pushing open her door, she is on the floor of her bedroom “mom” she said “get up now, come with me” well they look fearful now “I really can’t believe you both, I am so disappointed. I was so upset with you both that I even had to tell dad to come, you made dad come here for this” pushing open my bedroom door, I swear if he laughs “where are they?” yes he is taking is seriously, looking behind me and they are both so quiet now “I had to drive back, your mom called me. Wow girls” I need his drama, I like this.
Pushing Junior’ face away from me, he bit my cheek “stupid boy” I swear this boy is a dog “you know what girls, I use that phone to call you all and now I can’t. I told mom that nobody has a phone, the behaviour from you both have disappointed me so much, I am so very upset with you all. I didn’t think that my two eldest daughters have hit each other like this, look at y’all faces. Hurting each other for what, now you both quiet? How am I supposed to talk to you all now?” He said “you can come home” Rylee said “stop it Rylee, you’re not funny. I’m going to punish you both, your mom didn’t want too but I do so yeah. Me, mom, junior and Imani are going to the beach tomorrow. You both are staying home, we planned this nice day for you kids” oh they are getting sad now “I didn’t mean it dad” Rylee’ voice broke “Tianna started it” she sobbed out “Tianna broke the phone I know, she shouldn’t have snatched either and for that no going out, no piano practice, no nothing, no seeing North. Or anything” Tianna gasped “you started it! Is auntie lying then? Shall I tell auntie off” Tianna shook her head “I don’t think she was lying was she?” she shook her head again “why is Rylee not getting the same?” she asked “she is getting punished, but you started it, you didn’t need too. Why should I punish her the same as you?” I mean what can she say now “exactly, now I want you to apologise to Rylee” Chris stood up from his position “I don’t want too, she said she didn’t want me here" these girls “then get out of my face, go. Leave” Tianna looked at me “don’t look at your mother either! Go!” Chris opened the door “go to your room and to bed” she walked off with her head down “Rylee, I know you are innocent in this, I see it and I understand but you still shouldn’t fight either. You can go too” Rylee nodded her head walking off, I didn’t even need to shout once, life is good “anyways, thank you. Goodbye” I said putting Junior down “so you’re playing in my face” I shushed him “the girl just left, stop” he laughed, Junior ran to Chris, and he picked him up “heard you was messing around too” as soon as Chris said that he slapped his face, I snorted laughing, that made me smile.
I sighed heavily watching Junior run off for dear life without even allowing me to put on his pants “nigga” I sighed out getting off of the bed “you called?” Chris said “and what are you doing in my bedroom still, you can leave too” I laughed “oh I can now, mhmmm” I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, leaning forward and inhaling his scent. I felt his body tense and grinned. Getting on my tiptoes “no” Chris moved his head far back “no? Oh wow” he laughed moving his head forward “you want a hug” he said leaning down to me as he squeezed me close. I nibbled quickly at his earlobe, flickering my tongue against his jaw. He groaned and gripped my butt “my sexy wife” he purred, his voice laced with lust and huskiness. I laughed, blushing at his compliment “sexy, mhmm what about beautiful” leaving light kisses on his neck and up his jaw, stopping at the side of his mouth. We both laughed, he is pressing me against him, I can feel him grating slowly against his dick “this is not good” I said against his lips “but you like it” he retorted “is daddy here” I nearly broke my neck moving myself away from him, I fell onto the bed “mom? Oh daddy” Imani ran at Chris, she was asleep. I am sure of it “I heard your voice dad, I miss you” Chris picked her up “awww baby, I miss you too, who woke you!?” he asked “you” she said, I sat up on the bed “I did? My big mouth” she nodded her head “dad, do you love me?” Chris frowned “love you? You are my whole heart” poking my lips out “but if I am that there is no love for mommy, so you not love mommy no more?” Chris chuckled “but my heart big, I have love for all of you. Why are you saying this baby?” Imani is so adorable “I am thinking dad, I love you lots too. But my heart is small, so I have to share my love, but I love you. Mommy says it lots, she says does Chris love me, so I say it” she is snitching “oh what else was she saying baby? Tell me!?” Imani looked at me laughing “whisper in my ear” I don’t like this “Imani, keep your mouth closed!” I spat; she is whispering in his ear “wow! She said that about me, who was in the room?” I swear to god “auntie Mel” Chris laughed “but I do too Imani, I love your momma so much. Shall I take you to bed yeah?” rolling my eyes “Junior! Get here now” he is playing around now “you taking mommy to bed?” I snorted laughing “erm Robyn, you want me to put you to bed?” I laughed out “Imani, I am ok. Daddy can put you to bed” rolling my eyes playfully “I will be back” waving him off, I think not.
Frowning at Junior as I made my way down the stairs “Junior! What is your problem” putting him down on the floor as I got to the bottom of the steps, he speaking a whole of nothing to me right now “whatever” he just wanted to go down the steps himself, that ain’t happening on my watch, then he will hurt himself and cry about it. I abruptly stopped walking, I swear I can hear Chris talking or am I dreaming it. Making my way over to the dining room “Junior, here now!” poking my head around “oh you come down now? Is this the time she comes down” I am confused “what are you doing here?” what is this “he fell asleep when he put Imani to sleep, I just made him breakfast” I froze just staring “I have a good mother in law, well ex mother in law. You really come down this late” Mel is sniggering “Chris, you really slept here?” I pointed “uh yeah, Imani and I both fell asleep. Hence the same clothes” he really slept in this home “but you didn’t come back, I mean no I didn’t mean that. Wow, ok” turning around “come on you, stop running around” picking him up again, Junior grabbed my head and kissed my face “now you want to show me love” he plays up and then does this, this child of mine “Imani, be careful with the plate. Oh Clinton. You’re making breakfast?” I am so confused right now “weird right, like where did he come from. I don’t get how he is having sleepovers and I can’t” looking at Chris behind me holding his plate in hand “I didn’t even know he was here, and neither did I know about you” he sniggered “I literally fell asleep that was it, awww you mad I ddin’t come to bed with you” I shushed him “shut up, I don’t care” moving Junior’ hand away from Chris’ plate “you do, this is why you’re upset, I get it, I would miss me too” Chris hit Junior’ hand with the fork lightly, he looks so stunned that he did that “don’t try and touch a nigga food again, got it” Junior turned his head away from him, he is sad now “so you missed me” let me ignore him, I am over him.
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Obi-Wan Kenobi Ep1-2 ***SPOILERS***
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-- I MEAN IT
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ooookay... my heart was not ready 😭💖💖😭😭😭😭💖😭😭😭💔💖💖😭😭😭😭
firstly: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT STAR?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! DID WE ACTUALLY START WITH PAIN?!!1
how many times to we have to witness Order66? How many angles do we have to see? how many times do we have to feel the same pain?!
it hurts. 😭💔
but also: was that a young Reva there? i feel like it might have been.. the age kinda matches up.. and would kinda make sense.. her attitude was very Reva, but i don't wanna make assumptions..
Owen is kind of a dick, i guess understandably so, but still. kind of a dick 😅
baby Luke is precious and adorable, but i guess they mislead us deliberately just so we thought he was gonna be a main point in this show.. when he is obviously not (so far)..
that young Jedi, Nari, i'm sorry for everything, but you should have listened to Kenobi.. just stay in hiding, please. do not be so eager to fight. just lay low.. please....
aaaand he's gone. RIP. 💔
Ewan as Kenobi is ofc perfection. he plays every single emotion flawlessly and so so so powerfully. he truly is Kenobi. and he loves this role. and he is giving it his all.
the nightmares he's having STILL.. the pain he feels for letting Anakin down.. for letting everyone down.. the loneliness he feels in his exile, the way he just wants to talk to his master.. my heart.. it hurts..
they truly made me believe we were gonna have a Qui-Gon cameo, huh?! but i guess him not showing up is even more painful in a way... fuck... pain. 😭💔
one thing that's kinda iffy to be is how big of a dick Kenobi is towards Bail.. like i figured he'd jump at the first call and go help his old friend and the daughter of his best friend... but nope. he's stubborn.. that was definitely an interesting choice..
also Bail my beloved. 💖
i am so happy he's back and he is perfection as always.
speaking of perfection:
why is my favorite part of a Kenobi show not even Kenobi?! 😅 baby Leia is perfection, she is adorable, she is everything. she must be protected. the actress is perfect, she gives off the stubbornness of both her parents and she has the attitude and knowledge, and some early signs of the force, for sure. she is everything!😭💖💖💖
baby Leia my precious 💖💖💖
also her doid, Lola, GIVE ME. I WANT. 😍😍😍
we have a new contender for cutest droid 😅
speaking of precious:
The Grand Inquisitor, by precious tragic baby 💖💖💖
he actually looks fkin amazing, they added the yellow eyes and the lines on his head, and the performance is great, and i am so happy he is back and gets expanded on.. BUT
what the fuck was that stab at the end of ep2?! like umm.. what?! he is not gonna die. we know he is not dying?! why is he getting stabbed and why are they making people believe he died?! hello?! do not fkin retcon Rebels, i swear to god!!
as for the rest of the Inquisitors: the Fifth brother and whatever Sister that was: amazing. love it. thank you 💖
Reva, the Third Sister.. eeeh idk. i LOVE the look, i love the performance, and how she uses the force, she is fkin strong!! BUT i don't know how i feel about her attitude. i still don't fully understand why she's pushing so hard for Kenobi specifically.. did Anakin give her a special task?! she is too stubborn and too impulsive and idk how i feel about that.. but everything else i love.
Kumail Nanjiani as Haja is EVERYTHING. he is a scene stealer. i love him. he is such a little jedi fanboy and i love him. please give me more of him!! 💖💖💖
Flea in Star Wars.. that was.. interesting 😅
EDIT: also the veteran clone trooper. my hear broke 💔 but seeing Temuera back as a clone was just way too good. please give me more 🙏🙏🙏
and that little Anakin teaser at the end. ow. 😭💔💖
the look on Obi-Wan's face when he finds out Anakin lives... wow. the pain. i felt it. it hurts. 💔😭💖
can't wait for more 😅👍
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all in all: LOVED the first 2 episodes.
loving where this is going.
LOVING what they're doing with Leia, and her dynamic with Kenobi.. it's way too precious.. also when he referenced Padme. my heart 😭
cannot wait to see what's next. 😍😍😍
#star wars#sw#kenobi#obi-wan kenobi#kenobi series#ewan mcgregor#grand inquisitor#the inquisitors#reva#the third sister#leia#princess leia#spoilers#spoiler alert#star wars spoilers#kenobi spoilers#obi-wan kenobi spoilers#kenobi series spoilers#all the spoilers#i am so fkin hyped and happy and excited and emotional#i cannot properly put it into words how happy i am#this is looking to be a great addition to star wars#baby leia my precious#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#i can't
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Sometimes i think my mom deserves a better daughter than me. I am just a full time disappointment. My sister will be a doctor one day. My brother will become something but not a disappointment like me. What's worse than getting called dumb by my own family. My cousins treat me like i have no worth at all. But my parents are seriously so sweet and loving. They always say sweet things to me. But sorry mom, i can't study hard like my sister. I am sorry that i use phone alot. I am sorry i don't think before speaking at some times. I know mom, you want a better future for your daughter but saying that i can't do anything in my life and you'll just marry me off scares me. I can't talk about my future to you because now i am afraid that you will say things like that again.when i failed, you were alot supportive. Then i gave my best because of your support. When my results came i was so happy to see you happy but you saying that you didn't had any expectations from me, i was only supposed to pass from the edge broke my heart. I am sorry that i don't have the courage to disappear from this world but mom i really thought about it. I know i am young but still i have thoughts like this. I don't want to go because i can't imagine my brother asking everyone that where is my didi?. Even thinking about it makes me cry. I am sorry but you'll have to deal with me. I am sorry that you love me so much but i still think of stuff like this. Let me tell you mom, i really think about my future. No one wants to be a disappointment to their own parents. No one wants to hear your parents saying to your relatives that "we just want her to pass. kuch bhi kar le bas kar le". People are tired from their parents expectations but i badly want them to have expectations from me. You love me so much that some times it hurts like why am i like this. I am sorry mom.
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Ok I’d like some advice as well
I’m 19 and have been totally single my entire life. I’ve only had one experience where a guy liked me back but even then it didn’t work cause we actually lived in different states (long story lol). Other than that, never been on a date, never been flirted with, never have held hands with anyone. I can’t help but feel discouraged and like I’m gonna die alone (sounds dramatic but it’s honest).
And I’m not single for lack of trying, like I’m pretty outgoing and willing to talk to people.
I just feel so… behind… and inexperienced. And everyone just says to be patient and it will come when I least expect it but I’m honestly just so tired of hearing that lol. And I know I don’t need a relationship but I really would like one 😭. The loneliness sometimes just really hits me hard and it’s difficult.
So maybe this is more of a rant but yeah… thoughts?
I have SO MANY thoughts. And please bear with me through all of them, okay? Because… I hear so much of my past self in your rant. Let me introduce you to ME — the girl who felt so far behind everyone by the time she got to college that she felt like she’d never meet anyone who ever liked her back and was a total freak. I didn’t have sex with anyone until I was in my mid-20s and then it was just a fling (he eventually told me he’d slept with me because I looked like his ex he was still in love with!). My first ever boyfriend turned out to be an abusive asshole at 26 because I felt just so desperate to not be alone. And then by the time I broke up with him and hit 30, I told my sister I was just resigned to end up alone and raise dogs. To which she said — that’s okay! I broke down in tears. I felt like I was doing everything right. Putting myself out there, opening my heart up, and I didn’t understand what was wrong with me that no one wanted it back.
Fast forward a few more years…. I could not have predicted that I would be sending this to you from bed next to the love of my life (who I literally met during COVID cross country because she liked my fics lol). I’m going to meet her parents this weekend. And I KNOW it’s trite and I know no one wants to hear it’ll happen when it happens. But. I swear it will.
I say all of this because I hear you. And I have FELT that gaping despair of loneliness. But you are SO not behind. You have so so so much more life to live. You haven’t even entered the shit show that are going to be your 20s yet! I promise you have so many people yet to meet, so many mistakes yet to make, so many places you’ll go and see and so and you have no clue where you’ll end up. But you’re not behind. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. And remind yourself to give you some slack. We are still dealing with the ramifications of a two year long global pandemic that hindered us all socially. You will find that person to date, that hand to hold, that person to kiss. And it might not be magic at first lol, but you’ll get all those experiences in your own time. But please don’t think it has anything to do with you because it doesn’t! Timing is funny like that. Idk what’s going to happen, obviously, but I know it’s all going to be okay.
#I’m sorry this is so corny and cliche#but my gf is asleep in my arms right now and I just feel like I didn’t ever think I’d have this m#I didn’t think it at 19#I didn’t think it at 26#and I didn’t think it at 30#life is jussst starting for you#you got this#ask
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Gotta pull this blog out to get the fucking cartharsis or whatever.. but god this year has been horrible. My mother died of a fucking heart attack and the last time we ever talked was an argument. I'll never get to take that back. I'll never get to tell her I love and to know that she knew I loved her. But I'm still angry. She kicked me out knowing I most likely had nowhere to go. And I did find somewhere but it was limited and I was hated. She said I deserved to be abused bc I argue too much. She said we all think she should've died instead of my stepdad. I couldn't stand hearing that. But it doesn't matter because she's dead and I don't have a fucking mom anymore. But I never really did have a mom. I'm tired. Any mother figures I had I either can't talk to or they betrayed me.
The love of my life broke up with me for the final time and has made life so much harder. No one ever said as horrible things to me as he had. He fueled my drug addiction so he didn't have to deal with me. He hit me. He used me after the break-up for sex and made me hate my body even more by insulting me. I love him so much but he has made me hate myself more than I ever have. He made me lean on him after mom died and then decided I was fucking worthless but he still loves me but he doesn't?? I'm so confused because I could see the love in his eyes. I could tell he cares about me but he doesn't. I don't understand that.
I was hardcore addicted to coke for months. I lost my job because of it. I spent thousands of dollars on it. I didn't want to stop but I had to because I didn't want my sister to be around that shit. But I want it again. Life is too fucking hard for me. I'm tired. I'm hurting. I can't sleep. I can hardly eat. I don't want to be alive anymore. I don't want to feel anymore.
I'm now basically the parent of my half-siblings. My full brother is nowhere to be found. He's homeless and addicted to drugs. My half-brother repeatedly raped his ex-girlfriend and I fucking hate him for it. I will take care of him but I genuinely hate him. I don't want to take care of him or even see him anymore.
I'm so exhausted with everything. I want to sleep forever.
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I keep backspacing on my trembling keyboard. it isn't trembling, that's a lie, my hands are too steady to shake. mom says i have a problem with compulsive lying. But it's 1 a.m, and I'm sad again, and I'm going to type out all this rotten poetry till I turn golden-soft inside.
I'd never publish this on my main tumblr, of course. I have people who know me, who'd reach out and say, are you alright? I saw what you posted. I don't want to worry anyone. I just want to have a place to be imperfect. To let my hands shake.
A week ago, two weeks ago, two days ago, I'd be brimming with hope. But sometimes you go through life told by everyone that it doesn't matter if you're ugly or uncoordinated, because hey, atleast you're smart. And you believe them, and you cling to your smartness. You drown in your certainty. and then one day you wake up, head above the water, and realise you've never been smart. and you've so utterly convinced yourself of your smartness that you've failed. and you've failed, and these weren't just school exams where failure meant a few weeks of sadness. you've ruined your life. is it even your life? you don't like this career at all, but your parents wouldn't hear a word.
It's just, when you think of your future you think of a homeless bum. The best case scenario, you think of someone utterly burnt out. which is funny, because who plans to be burnt out?
and you're just a little sad, maybe. and you realise you've been treading water for so long, smile taped onto your face that you can't remember happiness. and you can't exactly tell your parents. it would be the hen telling the butcher they feel dead. which isn't exactly an apt metaphor. i told you, i have a problem with lying.
mom doesn't realise that i get it from her. that i have carefully written schedules and calendars and to do lists because sometimes she will accuse me of something I've never done, or insist she told me something. or sometimes she will actually tell me things, even though it tears my heart to hear them, and i have no way of telling if they're true. it's not like I can google, 'did my grandfather really despise me? was i actually cut out from his will?' 'did my elder sister really die because my father hit my mother so hard? or is he right and she died because my mother was too preoccupied with herself?' 'Hey Google, how do I deal with the existential guilt of knowing the only reason I am alive is because my father is so angry he killed an unborn child. how do I feel about that.' 'hey google? remember when we were six and our best friend died and then after that we could never make neighborhood friends again?' 'hey google, why'd I stop talking to my sister?' 'hey google? do you know what it's like to have things go right?'
(and half of those things there are secrets. i shouldn't be posting about them. maybe they aren't even real, and my mother was just joking. I'm certainly not going to ask.)
the last one is just me being ungrateful, anyway. things go right all the time. but the last year's been harder than usual, I suppose. My sister escaped, and I was left to deal with the fallout. And I had exams. Like 12 series of them. which doesn't sound like much till you realise each exam needed at least a month or two to prepare, and there are only so many days in the year. and I think everyone almost died. Everyone fell sick and got injured and i was suddenly an adult and I don't think I'm made for pressure. And here I go again, ranting about something that's over, making excuses for not achieving what everyone else did effortlessly. Depression? No. Adhd? Maybe. Just,,, slipping? yeah.
My new years resolutions weren't that hard. Get into college. Pierce your ears. Dye your hair. Learn a language. but all I've managed is a shitty 30 day Duolingo streak and a new wave of sadness. It's August. The year is half over. I just want to be happy.
I was going to type poetry, wasn't I? Instead, I broke out the excuses. The rants. Can't I make something beautiful?
I hope one day I'm loved and cherished and so so happy I can gorge on it.
I hope I find my calling, find a passion, and future me reads this and thinks, 'don't worry. it worked out. we're okay.'
I hope I'm okay.
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I needed my sister
To my little sister,
I keep thinking about something you said . . . I spent a couple of hours brushing the matts out of your hair and then painted and cleaned up your nails. You kept saying, “Such a good big sister.” I would do anything for you, you know that. But there were times I didn’t feel like such a good sister. You battled your demons for so long and they would spill over and there were days I just couldn’t take it. You would call me all hours of the night. I would get so mad at you because you knew the hours I worked but it didn’t’ stop you. I know you needed to work out your demons. I think now, if I had just talked instead of getting mad, maybe it would have made a difference . . . maybe it wouldn’t. I will never know. You would show up drunk when I really just needed you to be sober because I needed my sister. When dad had his last brain surgery you showed up drunk... got drunker . . .. then proceeded to pick a fight with everyone. You somehow made a stressful situation so much worse. I was so angry, but I was also just sad. I needed my sister. Your girls needed you. I took your girls out for dinner once we knew dad had pulled through and just let them vent. I hope you can see now how hard it was on all of us. We begged you to get help, to take your sobriety serious but you just didn’t.
I think it was a week later I got a call from your dentist to please come get you because you were drunk and had passed out in the dentist chair. I was beside myself, but I came. I always came. I would get you out of jail... I’ve drove to Buffalo at 2 o’clock in the morning and have been to the Greene co. jail more times than I care to count. Someone told me I shouldn’t go. I should just leave you but I just couldn’t. If it wasn’t me then who was it going to be? . . . . and I needed my sister.
As you laid on your death bed I told you what your youngest had been up to. You weren’t conscious for it but I think you heard me. At least, I choose to believe you could hear me. I told you that you would have been so proud, but it was all bittersweet. She was playing basketball. She was so good she was moved up to the next level. I got the pleasure of going to a game but she begged me not to tell you. Do you know how hard that was? I needed my sister. I wanted to share her joy with you but she was so afraid you would show up drunk that she didn’t want to share that part of her life with you. It absolutely broke my heart. I wish you could’ve seen her! She is so amazing!
Once upon a time we were really close . . . we still were but it was different. We would take our kids on outings when life wasn’t getting in the way or just hang out. I would come over and do my laundry or we would go to the pool. We had a bond... even in the end. You know that bond that sisters have. That bond that says I will be here for you. Whatever you need I am here. Even if it was to be a buffer for our parents-we were there for each other. So, in the end, it felt like you were picking alcohol over me . . .and I get why your girls were so angry with you. Addiction changes everything! But I will give your youngest this, she hadn’t talked to you for a while but the minute I said you need to come see your mom with me . . she came. We knew the situation was serious. I didn’t want to think about the outcome because I needed my sister.
I want to go back to when we were kids. We didn’t have the best childhood. Don’t get me wrong, mom tried really hard to do what was right but, in the end, it just wasn’t enough. Our dad would get drunk and would often hit our mom. There were nights mom would drive us around into the wee hours of the night just so we weren’t there when dad got home. I never knew what that did to you, but I do now. Through all of that... if dad was hitting mom. You would cry and cry but me . . .. I didn’t. I just sat there and kept my mouth shut. It was 50/50 on who was going to get ridiculed. It was either you for being a crybaby or me for “not caring” because I didn’t cry. I think in the end-from the scars of those situations. It made you very co-dependent and me very independent. . .. to a fault. You needed something to get you through the days and I didn’t need anyone or anything .. . except I needed my sister. Because you knew. You knew me. I knew you. I see you, more now than I ever did. I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner. I should have.
The other thing I keep thinking about is when I arrived at Mercy on Monday morning . . you had been waiting for most of the night. I walked in and you looked at me and said, “Lisa, I just want to cry.” I said I know... but you sounded so defeated. Your eye was swollen shut... your face was puffy . . your skin and eyes were yellow . . .. you couldn’t get up by yourself. I helped you out of bed and helped you with your socks. Then I wanted to cry. I don’t think I have stopped crying since. The funny thing is, when we were in St. Louis and the doctor wanted to talk about palliative care . . . we were holding your hand. I started crying. Mom told me not to cry. I learned later that was because you told mom not to cry. Which is ironic when I think about all those times growing up . . .you were the one that cried, not me. But I was crying because I needed my sister.
You were so tired in the end. Tired of being sick, tired of losing to addiction, tired of fighting your demons. I know you are resting now and your demons are gone. I know when it is my time you will be there waiting for me because I will still need my sister.
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