#it makes sense as i do too hate ships without reason sometimes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

olderthannetfic · 26 days

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https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/746553097204203521/the-fandom-hates-women-response-to-lack-of-ff

The "fandom hates women" part of it comes from the fact that fandom as an entity just doesn't watch the kind of media that draws femslash, even if it ticks all of the boxes of things those very same people say they like. There are so many times I've watched a show that I've seen mega-popular Tumblr posts wishing existed, and then the fandom is so, so small comparatively and often in general. There have been superheroes, vampire/supernatural shows, fantasy shows, movies, books, the list goes on, that feel like they were generated out of Tumblr's desires for ideal fandom media, and everyone knows they're never going to attract anywhere near the same attention for fandom and fanworks because the common denominator just tends to be that if there isn't a full ensemble of attractive men to ship either with each other or with the women, fandom's not interested.

So it's not about prioritizing women in that sense, it's about people witnessing hypocrisy over and over again the second a show doesn't have a mostly-male ensemble. The people who are in these fandoms are frustrated that good faith attempts to get people interested are met with every excuse in the book that all eventually boils down to "I don't like watching stuff with women in it as much as I like watching stuff with men in it." And if that's how people feel about it... sometimes the conclusions are going to turn into the more uncharitable take of "fandom hates women."

Maybe, but whenever I see a "fandom hates women" reblog of my stuff, one or two reblogs further down the chain I get an overt TERF. I just had to go block several people today, in fact.

The first person to reblog with a comment like that is usually subtle, but their friends and friends of friends are not. The rhetoric that very quickly starts is the fandom equivalent of that "All the butches are becoming trans men! We're losing lesbians!" stuff.

Here's the thing: I've been in ten billion fandoms that were so awesome and fit fandom's supposed tastes to a T and yet no amount of promoting them could get anyone to try the canon. This goes for canons that are all men or all white men or all majority ethnicity men or whatever else.

The default state of media is to not engender a big fic fandom.

I agree that the rare outliers mostly follow certain patterns, but we extrapolate too far when we say that a lack of those patterns is why a fandom is small.

A fandom is small because that's the near-universal default.

Yes, a small slice of fandom consists of guilt-ridden queer fujoshi who say they want more f/f but don't make much of a move to make that happen. I tend to run into that a lot because of my own tastes and having friends who share those tastes.

Far more of fandom is people talking generally about how representation matters without saying they would personally join these fandoms if they existed.

Neither group is large enough to be the real reason some woman-heavy canon fails to take off to HP levels.

The real reason is not hypocrisy but the fact that most things don't take off like that. Most things without massive, massive audiences especially don't take off like that. And the very few things that do are flukes and don't actually predict that another similar thing will take off in the future.

Go to AO3's tag search. Search for all canonical fandom tags. Sort by uses and descending order.

Right now, I get 64,390 tags.

The first page, 50 tags, goes from HP with 497,845 works to the Thor movies with 59,266 works. By page 6, we're below 10 thousand works.

By the end of page 10, we're down to Labyrinth with 3,906.

Somewhere in the top 500 AO3 fandom tags (many of which are just franchise metatags for each other), we go all the way from megafandoms to medium size and down to relatively modest ones.

That's not a lot of room for a big f/f-heavy fandom given the trends in mainstream media and that mainstream media is where most really big fandoms come from.

I also notice that you're conflating a lack of desire to watch something that's primarily about women with a lack of desire to watch something that includes women.

There are tons of fans who want something more like The Mummy with a leading man and leading woman they love.

Granted, that's not me and that's not a lot of my fujoshi/slasher audience, but it's extraordinarily common. I know plenty of people who don't like canons that are only dudes, but since they also don't like canons that are only ladies and they don't ship f/f, this gets spun into "fandom hates women".

Let me be clear:

Conflating "lesbians" and "women" is a radfem position.

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thesteriuswife · 5 months

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Today marks three years of Dianthus existing! I made my first concept sketches for her on 11/20/23 💖 this also means it's been three years of Diathesterius! I sometimes use the date I uploaded Dia to toyhouse, the 21st, as the anniversary date just in case I'm late... but I managed to finish colouring this <3 I had actually wanted to do something for this earlier in the month, I even made some very elaborate plans for it... but it ended up not happening! Which is okay 💞 but I still wanted to draw a little wedding piece... so I did! I'll make something fancier when I have more time later on... 💝 I used my own handwriting here for authenticity, but at some point... I'd like to be able to rewrite in Greek for More authenticity <3 Uncropped version (and long rambling post) under the cut 💕 I get a little Vulnerable so don't read it if you're gonna be mean or else I'll like Get You or something

I've made posts in the past talking about why Theseus and Asterius mean so much to me, but I don't think I've made one on why Dianthus herself means so much to me.. so for her own third year anniversary, I'll do that here! before I begin...! the fruit in dia's hair here are from the strawberry tree, arbutus unedo. I associate the tree and its fruit with Theseus but... it's honestly been so long, I don't remember exactly why! Just that, for some reason, I imagine thathis childhood home had a tree of these fruit blossoming just outside his mother's room, and thus he has fond memories of it. Lady Dianthus... she who loves all things pink, actively hates celery, and still has a job at the library despite being so fogetful and clumsy... she who met Theseus and immediately became obsessed because it was the first interesting thing to happen to her- not a parent or someone she's close to, but herself! her first time feeling as if she had a true purpose. She who didn't understand Theseus' obsession with Asterius until meeting he Minotaur, and promptly decided "he's not scary? he's not scary at all! he's just a cow!" I've made sona and the likes before Dia of course, but she was the first in a long time who was truly meant to resemble me in all ways (except for the setting, of course...). I made her design simple so I would easily be able to redraw her, and gave her one of my favourite palettes pink and green and cream and gold. At first I really didn't expect to get that attached to her... I went months without drawing her after her initial creation. but the more I drew her the more I realized how much fun I was having with her...! It's funny looking back on it... originally I had a much more comedic idea for her story, and di not intend to ship her with Theseus in any serious way. It was going to be a completely one-sided love (with Dianthus taking the role of "crazed fangirl" - which she still is, in a way). I'm sure it isn't a surprise but it didn't take me long at all to start drawing ship art of them, creating artworks and writing of Theseus and Asterius was a self indulgent joy for me, so why not selfship art too? I ended up invested, of course. Using Dia I put a lot of my own feelings into a story; a sense of otherness, her loneliness, feeling lost and out of place. I had removed it later on because I felt uneasy with how vulnerable it was, but at one put I had placed one of the most traumatic events of my life into Dia's story- sometimes I think about adding it back, because I know giving her an oppurtunity to open up about it with her beloveds would be something beneficial to Me irl(!). But that's besides the point here... she's a stubborn girl, sweet but arrogant is my usual go-to descriptor for her; that's how I think of myself too, just based on what I've been told (I have a hard time thinking of myself as nice, though others always say so to me...). That may be part of why I tend to look for those features in (fictional!) lovers... something feels good to me about being able to butt heads due to this shared traits, but still coming together and making amends despite it. I do think it's a little funny that the sonas I've gotten the most attached to so far- Dianthus, and now Nerine- have some sort of theme of death with them. Dianthus is literally a ghost, and Nerine is metaphorically one (and maybe liteally, if I ever make up my mind...). Maybe that's just fitting for me, though... hmm... I'm not sure what else I want to say here... I think of Dianthus as "Me but in Hades Game / Ancient Greek context." Of course some events that happen in her life didn't happen to me, or, sometimes, I dramatize it (Dia's mother leaving her and her father to become the wife of a god was inspired by the fact that for the first few yers of my life, my parents were separated... but they always had a positive relationship with one another! Unlike Dia's parents), but she's become a big par

t of me all the same. Just as I am happy and hoping to spend many more years with Theseus and Asterius, I hope to spend many more years with her as well. i think that's all I'll write for now <3 if you read this thank you for being curious enough about me to be interested in all this 😭

btw, here's the first ever post of her... (yes thats my priv </3 i briefly unlocked it to search for this... don't try and follow me over there though it's crazy over there)

#🖼️ manuscripts #🌺👑🐂 love in idleness #@ this site. let me post!!! let me post this!!!!!

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beanghostprincess · 2 months

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What are you most controversial/unpopular OP opinions??? Sorry if it was answered before

You want me to get canceled so bad-- If I speak-- But idk, I guess I'll say the controversial opinions I can say publicly without a bunch of people coming at me!

Zo$an is a bit... Overrated? And by overrated I mean extremely/annoyingly overrated. I like the ship and its canon dynamic but I think at least 80% of the fandom portrays them in a very mischaracterized way. Not to say that... The ship is literally everywhere and the shippers always look for every little thing to prove they're canon, even if the "proof" has literally nothing to do with them. It's not that I don't enjoy the ship (although I must admit I prefer other dynamics a lot more) I just can't stand shippers that go to extremes. It's funny because I think Zo$an's dynamic is way more interesting and romantic in canon than it will ever be in the fandom. It's a bit sad, ngl. I liked them a lot at first but it got so tiring and now I am pretty exhausted from seeing it everywhere. The people force it to be more than it is when the canon is already pretty fucking great.

Adding to the Zo$san thing. I think that relationship would only work if Luffy is there somehow but it wouldn't last a day without him in the relationship. Unless there's like, a ton of character development most of these people don't make them go through.

One Piece Film Z is my worst enemy. It's such a boring movie. The only good thing is the soundtrack and maybe the suits but God watching that was torture.

Boa hate is uhhhh weird. I mean, I get why the joke about her being in love with Luffy might be annoying, but I think most of you need to learn to understand that Oda's sense of humor is sometimes a bit too exaggerated (and not funny) and it has basically nothing to do with the actual canon dynamics between characters. Boa likes Luffy because he's one of the first men who has ever treated her right, so of course she confuses that feeling with love. And of course, yeah, it isn't canon. Whatever. Just read between the lines, maybe? And also, stop using words like "pedo" to describe her because using that term so lightly about 1) a fictional character and 2) somebody who's clearly not a pedo is fucked up. Lmao. Do you even know what that word means???

Once again complaining about Pudding hate and saying that it's stupid. I won't overanalyze because I always do it with her, but the only reason people hate her is for misogynistic reasons and because they're babying Sanji. Evil male characters are okay and hot and very traumatized but the second it's a woman she's the most evilest person ever! Because God forbid they make mistakes! Suddenly their character development isn't valid because they hurt their babygirl!

Now that we're talking about my dearest Pudding. Not tagging anybody of course, but I saw this post with so many interactions of people agreeing about Sanji considering violence as a sign of love which??? Doesn't make sense at all?? OP said it was because he couldn't tell the difference between love/abuse because of his family, but that's just... Not accurate. That could only happen if they had manipulated him into thinking abuse is a type of love, but he had healthy love growing up. Even when he was with the Vinsmokes (Sora and Reiju, I love you). And yet OP said Sanji considered Pudding's behavior flirting (wrong) and that's why he let her attack him (nope) and that it was proof of Zo$an. And okay, it's not a hugely popular theory, but a lot of people agreed with it and it bothered me a lot because it's both out of character and also using Pudding (complex female character) once again to try and prove the canon of a ship (that doesn't have anything to do with WCI either???). It just bothers me. People can perceive the story however they want but... Y'know.

OPLA isn't that good. Or good at all? I only like it because I like the cast and it's funny seeing my blorbos irl. But the script is simple and dull and just stupid most of the time. The characters are either simplified, mischaracterized, or forgotten. And tbh most of the shots are very awful and could be a lot better. The directing is also nonexistent. It's 6/10 and 3 of those points are because both the Zolu and the cast.

Apparently this is a very common theory about Nami's origins, but, uh, I don't think we need to know? What else do you need to know about her? People say she's a lost princess or something like that as if we didn't have a lost princess already (Sanji ily). Repeating the same plot would be boring and underwhelming, but also? It'd be extremely useless for the plot and it'd go against everything about Nami's story and the way Luffy reacts to it.

Luffy isn't canon aroace. In fact, the reasoning people use for him being "coded" is the same Oda uses for Zoro too and Zoro is almost never portrayed as the "idiot who doesn't know what sex is" the way Luffy often is. If you're calling Luffy canon aroace for what Oda said about him being focused on adventures, the same goes for Zoro being focused on his dream. They could be coded arospec but there's nothing confirmed and the constant discourse about it is stupid. Attacking others because of their ships just because you don't agree with them and saying it's wrong using our identity to do it is very fucked up. Especially since most of the time people complaining aren't even aroace. The only reason people do it (attacking others saying they can't ship Luffy and that it's "weird" and "wrong") is that they infantilize Luffy/Don't want him getting in between their ships (<- aroace person writing this) (also, it's very ableist since people agree on Luffy also being neurodivergent coded and treating him like a kid bc of that but this isn't about that now).

Somehow this is very common. Some fucking how. I can't believe I have to say this. I'm tired of people blaming Usopp for what happened in Water 7. Or in general hating Usopp. Actually, he's one of the best-written characters in the whole show and he's so underappreciated it's so frustrating.

Sanji's perv jokes are annoying af and we all know that, but people who hate the character and consider him a red flag for that are missing the point completely. The point being "Oda exaggerates jokes to an annoying extent and most of the time they don't even reflect the character". I understand they can make you uncomfortable (same here tbh) but reducing Sanji to only those jokes is a waste of his character. You need to take jokes less seriously.

If I see one of these "red flag OP boys" TikToks adding Law/Ace/Zoro/Sanji next to fucking Doffy I will riot. Also, stop adding Crocodile there. He's a mafioso, there's NO way he won't be a sweetheart to his lover.

Baron Omatsuri's artstyle and animation is amazing and it fits the plot and aesthetic of the movie perfectly and people saying it's ugly will forever bother me.

"Usopp is suddenly hot after timeskip!" He has always been hot what the fuck are you talking about.

People reduce Nami to her "mean"/"sarcastic" personality a lot when she's quite literally one of the most kind-hearted characters of all. That being said, morally speaking she's probably one of the worst. I could explain how that works but I don't want to do it now, the point is-- Let the girl be sweet instead of making her mean all the time. And also, let her be mean and selfish without making it her entire personality. There's something called "balance".

Film Red was kind of bad. Like, the songs are amazing (thanks, Ado) but the ending is awful and the plot is very meh. I'm only here for Uta and Shanks but the rest of the characters are just useless. I do appreciate Sanji's hair in the movie, though.

#i am aware that most of these aren't that unpopular and i think i've just been on tiktok too much #some of my opinions should stay hidden from the world i don't want to make people angry lmao #anyway here it is hope you like my hot takes hidden in between mild takes #one piece

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captainmera · 7 months

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ok ,entonces tengo un OBVIAMENTE SHIP por Theo y Oliver , así que bombardeare con preguntas románticas !

Who would be more romantic? Who is the one who cares more about the other? Who would take care of who in a cold (why is that super romantic? I don't know), who would blush more at the other's comments? Who has more protective attitude? .....and I'll stop for now

Jag kan inte spanska! xD Ser du hur skumt det här är? Hahahaha!

And thank you for this ask! :'D <3

Both of them care for the other just as much. :) They just support one another where the other needs it. They don't have the same needs!

Oliver is the most blushy though. He's a rather shy person (sober, anyway. Drunk Oliver is very confident).

They are both protective. Theodore is just..... Well, he's a witch:

ibwr world building lore stuff:

Witches are, in the world of IBWR, a little unhinged. People fear them, they're seen as a "necessary evil" by the church and society in general. People seek them out for various reasons and aid. Often taboo things. In public opinion, witches must be a little... evil.. To be able to do certain things.

It leaves witches socially ostracised at the same time socially desired and renowned. It's fickle to navigate. They're basically the dark fairy god mother left uninvited to the party, but if they show up anyway nobody's gonna throw them out. Their association is a flex to pull, but also at the same time an association you want at arms length.

So real and genuine friendships are hard to come by for them.

This resulted in witches, generally, sticking to themselves and their families. The public opinion is that witches don't have have friends, and if they do those people will soon live to regret it. People think witches' friends are only for business or pleasure. If you're not business then you're pleasure, and if you served your purposes you're ditched without remorse. <- At least that's what people think. It's not baseless, but also not totally true.

Witches has built up, because of this, this mask of confidence that they lean into - that they're untrustworthy and mischievous, lustful and morally dubious. It's just a terrible circle, really. "IF YOU HATE ME, FINE, THEN I WILL BE ALL OF THAT WITH PRIDE!!! FEAR ME!!" like, okay, you just want friends don't you.

Because people seldom like them, at least genuinely, they become very loyal friends to those that do. Maybe a little scarily loyal. You like me? Like for real? Okay then I will help you get away with murder. Oh, that's too much? I mean, what do you mean you don't want anything?? I can give you everything. Name it and it's yours.

Witch culture revolves a lot around deals and contracts, so when they meet people (like Oliver) who asks for nothing in return they try to make up for it, it makes them a little nervous to receive something without having to return a favour. Which makes them a little too inclined to jump to their loved ones defence - out of both love and duty.

And, lucky for Theodore, Oliver is good at declining that behaviour. Which teaches Theodore he's actually loved. And that not everything is transactional. That also works great for Oliver, who has always felt like he owed the world something, so he ensures nobody feels they owe him. It leaves them both with an established genuinely: They love because it's simply that. Love. No keeping scores, no malicious or selfish intent.. Just... As close to unconditional as you can get.

Theodore still needs to work on jumping into HAHA LET ME END YOUR ENEMIES though. It's how witches show love. it's a bit toxic but that's part of his arc, he's learning who he is outside of his family and the way he was raised.

He's just as much an Ashdown witch as any of his family is. Generational trauma and family trait is not something you escape just because you can see it for what it is. Sometimes it takes a different voice in you. But it's there. You may think your family's sense of loyalty is toxic but yours isn't. We are all a little blind and needs help seeing ourselves sometimes.

Oliver isn't without his toxic traits too. He's really blind to his worth and chooses to be okay with bad things happening to him because he thinks he deserves it - He was raised to believe that he has to be quiet and put aside, that his needs are secondary and that if he wants to be loved he must allow others to use him.

His logic doesn't work, and Theodore - who's blunt and has an honest relationship with Oliver, can be frank and poke him about it "if that's true for you, then it must be true for me. If bad things happen to me, that must mean I deserve it too. Rules cannot apply to one person alone. It doesn't work like that. You can't say I deserve to be heard and loved unconditionally, and then not apply it to yourself. practice what you preach." And Oliver needs to be reminded of that sometimes. Theodore is a good reality check for Oliver.

Theodore lifts Oliver off the ground when his depression makes him lay face down in dirt. And Oliver holds Theodore back from acting on his impulsive negative emotions.

But they also encourage the other on their positive traits.

Oliver cheers Theodore on with his goals and dreams, gives him room to be authentic to the parts of himself he's repressed. He encourages him in areas where Theodore is sensitive or insecure. He validates him. And Theodore gives Oliver the space to feel safe and unjudged. He can be wholly himself and not feel like he's a burden for needing something. Oliver can speak freely and Theodore enjoys his thoughts on things, he requests his opinion and values his insights (which is good for Oliver's self-esteem).

They're both patient with one another, and put effort and time into trying to understand what the other is going through and needs.

They're friends as much as lovers.

The double taptap shoulder thing I used in my fanfic is.. it's actually.. from them. <XDDDD Oliver do that. I am regretting it a smidge that I used it for huntlow now XDDDD

OH WELL.

ANYWAY.

THAT WAS ME BLABBING ON ABOUT MY BOYS FOR TOO LONG.,

THANKS FOR READING IF YOU DID ASDFGHJKL

I wish I was further in my story so I can like.... SHOW ALL OF THIS ALREADY *SOBS* NOT JUST TALK ABOUT IT. *CRIES*

#ibwr #in blood we rise #ibwr world #ibwr lore #ibwr character blurb

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alovelyburn · 7 months

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374.

I read somewhere (... i think it was screenrant but nevermind that) that the new arc of Berserk is called "eastern exile."

Which brings me back here:

Miura did say that Guts and Griffith would meet several times again before the end of the series, so perhaps they're going to both end up in the same place.

That said, there are other options, too - 372 finished with a line emphasizing that the world plays out in Griffith's hands, so perhaps he simply knows that the next chapter in the saga continues to the east (meta, but not really), or it's another reference to his general sense of Guts' presence, which has arguably been alluded to before.

All that said, and bearing in mind that I don't hate the new chapters like a lot of people do, nor do I think they're flawless like some oithers do, this does kind of highlight an ongoing issue with the post-Miura chapters.

It's sometimes hard to parse what's happening, due to the reduction in dialogue, as well as the less polished visuals.

There's a weird thing at the end of the current chapter that says Guts is in chains but I feel like it's clear that he isn't - the Kushans go after him with chains, and then you see the chains of the beast break and then at the end you see his feet walking. My GUESS is that they're going for "Guts is in chains and the Beast is in residence" but that's not as clear as it could be due to the visuals....

But also because of storytelling disconnects. For example, when the Kushans start toward the room Guts is in, and Azan freaks out because if they open the door, the Black Swordsman will "awaken" and tear them limb from limb, I thought... he has no reason whatsoever to say that guts will tear them to pieces. Because he hasn't. Moved.

Which then made me think if Miura were still here maybe he would still not be moving, but there'd be something less pathetic and more unnerving about it to give the people on the boat the sense that there's danger in waking him up in this state.

I can see how this could have happened. eg, Miura said Griffith takes off with Casca, Guts can't land a single blow which causes a mental breakdown about his own impotence, then the Kushans board the ship and people are afraid if they wake Guts up there will be an even bigger disaster.

Plot points without any context or detail. Which is where you start seeing the biggest gaps - because no doubt Miura would have done the work to make these pieces fit together, but without him all they're doing is hitting the points on the outline one by one.

Also, Rickert (and presumably Erica) is with the Kushans, which should make this Silat's group. Depending on how deep Miura intended to go with the Eastern world thing, this could contextualize his comments about the later story dealing with Tao principles/etc. It's also interesting bc he ALSO said that the Godhand would appear more and more... which does imply a greater presence for them in other parts of the world than we were previously, necessarily made aware of.

#ariel talks about berserk

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crownmemes · 5 months

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Doctor Who (60th Anniversary Specials) Sentences, Condensed

(Sentences from Doctor Who (60th Anniversary Specials, 2023). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I keep having more and more dreams."

"Look! It's a spaceship!"

"How do you always manage to miss everything?"

"You can wear a suit that tight up to the age of 35, and no further."

"What I'm saying is, that ship didn't crash - it parked."

"It is not my fault I lost my job!"

"How many more times? There's no such thing as spaceships!"

"I would burn down the world for you."

"Sometimes, I think there's something missing."

"Why are you hiding away? We're on the same side."

"I don't know who I am anymore."

"Do not fire without my command!"

"I want to go home."

"Sometimes, I think I'm from a different planet."

"So nice to see you again!"

"No stun guns for me!"

"I'm just passing by."

"I have no higher compliment."

"Cryptic. I hate that."

"A lot of husbands would worry."

"Does there have to be a reason?"

"Why don't you do something completely new and have some friends?"

"My family is waiting for me!"

"I will get you home."

"It's definitely a spaceship."

"Is that stuff dangerous?"

"Did it just get cold?"

"My arms are too long."

"Look, I'm me! I swear, I'm really, really me!"

"You're saying this to break me down."

"I've got to say, this is the biggest nightmare of my life, but... I look quite good."

"I can't follow any of this!"

"That's a superstition. It doesn't mean it's true."

"You timed that to get out of awkward conversations!"

"Now nothing is wrong! Nothing in the whole wide world!"

"I never thought I'd see you again after all these years."

"The whole world's coming to an end!"

"Oh, here comes trouble!"

"Basically, every single human thinks they're right and won't be told otherwise."

"Why should I care? I mean, seriously? Why should I care about you?"

"What is this? Some kind of conspiracy?"

"But how does this even make sense?"

"I'll warn you now; if this is a trick, I will kill you."

"Your good and your bad are nothing to me."

"All that exists is to win or to lose."

"That's cheating!"

"You can't save everyone."

"You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?"

"Who'd have thought I ended up with a family?"

"You don't have to stay forever."

"Do you miss it? Out there?"

"I've never been so happy in my life."

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #specific;#doctor who;#scifi drama;#filmtv;

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thebreakfastgenie · 3 months

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beejhawk 👀

LMAO I was just sitting here like "no one even bothers to send me beejhawk anymore" but bless you to the bottom of your pot-stirring heart, anon.

Don’t Ship It

Why don’t you ship it? I have several reasons, which I will get into it, but I'm going to start with this one: I like a happy ending. Beejhawk cannot be a happy ending to me. I'm not entirely convinced any Hawkeye/4077th ship being endgame can be a happy ending, even the ones I like. I want to see Hawkeye move on from the war, which is what GFA is setting him up to do. Beejhawk keeps him stuck with the war defining his life. That's depressing to me. In the larger narrative of Hawkeye's life, it's important to me that the war is unimportant. The war being how Hawkeye met the love of his life gives me the ick. It implicitly suggests the war was somehow worth it. I can't think of a single reason why I would ship it. I think the biggest reason is it's simply too OOC for me. I cannot believe that Hawkeye would be in love with BJ. That is not Hawkeye to me. I actually can believe that BJ would be in love with Hawkeye, even though BJ is extremely straight to me, but I can't see Hawkeye reciprocating, ever. I've read some beejhawk fic and a lot of posts, and the way Hawkeye behaves and is characterized doesn't just feel wrong to me, it feels wrong in the way I hate the most. BJ is usually wildly OOC too. The other big reason is the complete lack of chemistry. They have negative romantic chemistry to me. This is a much smaller reason, but the things people get from beejhawk I get from other ships that make more sense to me. For a best friends ship, I have piercentyre. If I want to ship Hawkeye with someone repressed, I have hawnk or houlihawk. Sometimes I joke about this but it's kind of true that I don't need beejhawk because I have hawnk. The Joke Is Wild? Hawnk did it first. I genuinely do not understand why beejhawk is a ship at all, except that they're the two main guys. If I didn't know how slash culture worked, I would have been shocked that it even existed. In the last few seasons, I'm not even convinced they like each other. I found myself asking "do these guys even like each other?" about the alleged best friends more than once, and I had to actively rev up my suspension of disbelief to enjoy their goodbye properly the first time I watched GFA. I very strongly dislike any framing of MASH as a love story, and I have yet to find beejhawk content that doesn't turn it into the Ballad of Hawkeye and BJ. Piercentyre is fun for me, because it really changes the show very little. Beejhawk requires me to rewire the entire show, and I don't want to. A lot of moments that I adore become less meaningful to me if they're shippy. For example, Where There's a Will, There's a War. "When I wake up remind me to give you a kiss" is an expression of BJ's profound relief and a wonderful resolution to the anxiety and guilt he's been feeling for the whole episode. It's hyperbole that only works because they don't normally kiss or want to kiss. It always brings to mind a lyric from a song about WWII: "and I never kissed so many men as on that afternoon." It's not about romance, it's about being glad to be alive. I just like the show better without beejhawk. I started out a little more neutral and my visceral revulsion built through overexposure. There was also an assumption that you shipped beejhawk that I really resented. Especially because of the implications around it being slash. I am gay, I ship gay ships, I ship other gay ships in MASH. I don't ship beejhawk. I'm not required to ship every single gay ship. So all those beejhawk posts about "gay people love this" or "gay people think that" bother me and turn me off even more.

What would have made you like it? Completely different acting/chemistry. Something completely different from what I ever see the fandom do with it. I could probably be sold on unrequited (BJ's side only) or unhappy ending beejhawk in fic if it was really well done. This is your chance to plug! I think a realistic handling of it would help too. The show gives me a BJ who is as far from leaving his family as a man can be. I need to be convinced that something would change that. Meta claiming he's actually close to leaving in the show does not work for me, it directly contradicts what I see. I need writers to dig into it. Actually show me the dissolution of BJ's marriage, the pain and consequences. Show me how he manages to stay in his daughter's life, if he does. Brokeback Mountain does not shy away from how badly Ennis treats his wife and how absent he is to his children. My experience with beejhawk is that much angst is made of the obstacles to their being together, but they're quickly dispatched with. Tell me what Hawkeye sees in BJ, because I don't see it in the show.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? It inspired me to make these. I've been thinking lately that this lyric fits beejhawk "perhaps we don't fulfill each other's fantasies." If you know me, you know this is something positive from me, because it's from what I think is one of the best songs ever written. There is some interesting potential. Just get out of the true love box! Try something dark, something one-sided (BJ's side), something that ends badly! I do really like their friendship in the first few BJ seasons.

#i'm gonna stop there this could go on all night #mashposting #i welcome discussion on any of these points btw #you won't change my mind but it's fun to talk

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loustat-0 · 3 months

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While I admit I am biased because I love Loustat and Daniel/Armand first and foremost, I am trying not to be negative towards Loumand (which I don't like very much in the books) and appreciate its role in the story, but the Loumand shippers (the ones that have popped up since S1 anyway) are making it difficult and I find them exhausting. I feel like so much of the extreme Lestat hate and takes like Daniel is too old to be a love interest or become a vampire seem to be coming from that corner along with other things. I also can't believe they actually like book Armand considering the way they feel about Lestat. I can't believe they would like any of the characters to be honest.

Hi anon . First of all I need to say I'm not a TVC expert I watched the show first & then read some of the books selectively 😅so I hope what I answer makes sense . 💜

Okay so all of the book readers already know that all of the vampires are horrible in their own ways & that's because most of them have a horrible past both as a human & vampire . That of course doesn't justify what they later but that clarifies why they're acting the way they do .

And I think from Ep 5 it is right to hate Lestat but I don't understand the hate towards old Daniel he literally didn't do anything to Louis or Rashid / Armand except to get something true out of their stories like a real journalist . And I need to mention here that I myself am a Armandaniel & loustat shipper first & in heart just like you . 🥰 The hate on Old Daniel is not justifiable for the show viewers bc I myself can't find a reason to hate him YET😐

And as for people should hate Armand or Loumand as much as they hated Lestat & loustat , I think that can't be decided by the show viewers only 🤷🏻‍♀️ cause they haven't seen any bad side of Armand towards Louis , they haven't seen their relationship in Paris or after Paris . And they hope Louis & Claudia are finally free of their abuser. So I give them the right to want that because they have no idea & it's a journey for them & new discoveries for them . And not just about Loumand about loustat too because Louis canonly considered loving Lestat more in the second half of the book so if the show runners know what they're doing & consider to take a darker path as JACOB said in an interview then we will definitely see Loumand to the extent & also loustat to the extent. 😊

And for those people who know about Loumand & Armand of the books & still love & adore them together I think that is also fine BUT AS LONG AS THEY DON'T HATE LOUSTAT FOR THE SAME REASONS 🙄 . If they hate Lestat for the manipulation & lies & withholding information then they must hate Armand or Loumand for the same reasons . 😉 Or even Claudia Otherwise their reasons for hating Lestat & loustat isn't justifiable to me . 🤷🏻‍♀️

And I want to add I don't hate Armand I didn't like Loumand though . I love Armand & Daniel their relationship makes more sense to me than Loumand . Although I have to add Loumand as great friends in later books makes so much more sense. I think Louis & Armand can calmly talk together & talk sh*t behind Lestat's back all they want .😂 I think they need each other simply because the way we all need someone in our life when we're tired of our relationship & our family & sometimes ourselves . Armand is probably Louis's escape from anything intense & Louis is probably Armand's scale of what he does as much as Lestat hates that Armand accepts that from Louis I guess . 🙂

Over all I think we should respect each other's favorite ships without judgement towards the person who ships other ships . And I think Loumand was & is the necessity of the story individually or as I myself think Loumand is a means to loustat . So if you're worried about how S2 might not be your favorite season because of Loumand then I can offer you to just enjoy the ride because you'll find something else interesting to like about season 2 . But as a respect for the actors & to the hard work they did I will definitely support S2 because they all worked really hard & I think that wouldn't be really nice to them to stop watching S2 because I don't like Loumand in the book . Who knows I might come to like it on the show . 🤩

Let the tale seduce you . 😉❤️

#loustat #loumand #iwtv speculation #iwtv spoilers #interview with the vampire s2 #interview with the vampire #iwtv #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #armand the vampire #armand x louis #armand x daniel #louis x lestat #amc iwtv #iwtv 2022 #iwtv 2024

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somethingpersonarelated · 10 months

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On how Futaba views Akechi

A piece of fanon I've noticed that comes up a lot is how supportive Futaba is of anything that involves Akechi. I don't want to go "Oh she just hates him and any interpretation otherwise is WRONG!!>!" or like she'd totally be cool if he randomly waltzed back into their lives.

It's not something that particularly annoys me or anything. It's just something I've noticed and wanted to comment on because I feel like Futaba's character gets overly simplified. I think it's an interesting dynamic that should be explored more! NOTE THIS IS LONG SORRY LMFAO. Also, I should clarify this isn't a ship post. (don't make this weird)

At the beginning:

We all know the infamous "wait why are you telling me about your trauma, this is a wendy's" scene but it gives us our first insight into her perspective.

When he talks about his mother, it's a fairly similar scenario to Futaba's own. So much so that she has her own cut-in looking sad/sympathetic towards him.

But she's still defensive when he asks about the Phantom Thieves' and their popularity by deflecting sarcastically with,

"...You're popular too, Ace Detective Akechi."

They definitely don't start off on the right foot, much like his relationship with pretty much all the Phantom Thieves, for obvious reasons. Although at this point they don't fully know the extent of his suspicious behavior, just that he is generally sus.

During the Casino + Shido Arcs:

Futaba cannot stand Akechi at this point, but as a part of the plan, she has to act naive even though arguably she probably knows the most about all the mechanics of the plan. She does get to mess with him though (making the newbie do stuff, the whole cognitive akechi part of the plan, bugging his phone). Her perspective is probably still similar to the others and it shows how much she was able to improve by being able to face him without cracking at all.

Shido's Arc and Third Semester is when it actually gets interesting though:

Futaba: You know... sometimes I think about that fake Medjed that you guys made up... Futaba: That was the worst trap... but if not for that, I don't think I'd be here right now. Futaba: Uhhh, basically... it doesn't matter where you start over!

This one gets me, I think this line is where her perspective begins to shuffle a bit (and it will be important later). She's trying her best to sympathize with him, as this is before the black mask part of the breakdown, and get him to see that there was some amount of good that came from his actions. It doesn't work, and I kind of think she doesn't really believe it, but they are all trying anything to get him to come to his senses. But I do think she means the part about him starting over, in a "I did it, so could you" kind of way.

And of course this engine room dialogue which is peak (even if it may be an incorrect description of his abilities):

Futaba: But you trusted no one, so you only got two Personas: one for your lies, and one for your hate. Futaba: Still, you thought that was enough, right? That part I totally get.

Okay the first part of the dialogue may not be accurate to how his Personas work but I don't want to talk about that (there's some good posts on that though). But the point isn't being accurate, she's throwing back what he's done in attempt to get through to him. Like this is where you went wrong and here's why I can relate to that. The second line confuses me and I had to sit on it.

One point she makes is that he's operating on his own without teammates (the translation is a bit different), "playing in single player mode." I think this refers to how she thought she could manage her situation on her own, but wasn't able to. Additional note, it could also be referring to the way she attempted to push people out of her life (like how she tries to stop the PTs when they say they need to meet her to change her heart). That she needed the help of the Phantom Thieves (I think, even beyond the change of heart) and those bonds proved her wrong. So even though she initially thought no one needed her and that her life was meaningless, she did something Akechi couldn't conceive of doing, reaching out for help. This is her way of extending a branch even though there's no reason for her to.

Third Semester

Source:

An additional line I can't screenshot:

"So please let me get back to navigating! I wanna navigate so hard that I won't be able to think about anything else."

When this happens, I think it's pretty clear that there's a strong inner conflict for her when it comes to forgiving Akechi. Even though they reasoned it out by saying they needed him on the team due to Maruki's abilities, she's still trying to look for a better reason to work with him. And she just can't find one. I wouldn't say it's necessarily out of pity, but it shows that she does on some level still feel bad for him. I guess the word I'm looking for is compassion? A thought that comes into my head is that she does want him to start over, just not with the team. If it was only Shido, then it would have been justified, but the circumstances are different here. Knowing that he might be alive changes the way all the thieves interact with him (they aren't trying to get through to him anymore, and some dialogues are just awkward- you can tell no one knows what to say to him now that he's acting 'normal').

A counterpoint to this dialogue would be her dialogue in the engine room and Mementos. She's pretty open to talking to him in these dialogues. In Akechi's section there are some really interesting interactions imo:

Akechi: You may not like working with me, but I'm counting on your assistance until our goal is achieved. Futaba: You better appreciate just how open-minded I am.

The fact they don't play together in Tycoon but they still get Mementos dialogues confuses me a bit but eh. Without Haru and Futaba's approval it's pretty clear the others wouldn't be on board with Akechi on the team. The delivery kind of makes it sound like she's forcing herself to be open minded about it, and that's what the safe room dialogue implies too. She doesn't want to be around him.

Akechi: Do you prefer my previous outfit or this one? Moving around's become much easier for me. Futaba: They both work fine. Just wear whatever you want.

Akechi: You think I'm frightening when I fight? Well, I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept it. Futaba: I was pretty shocked at first, but now I'm used to it.

I think these are pretty clear. She hasn't forgiven him, hell she probably doesn't like him, but she's come to accept him for who he is. But she isn't scared anymore, nor is she trying to reason with him, he just exists.

Conclusion/TLDR: She goes from actively disliking him at the beginning of the story to still disliking him but it's complicated™. She understands what he went through to get to that point, and wanted him (like the others) to face Shido with them. But when it comes to third semester, the circumstances are far different, complicating it further. She doesn't need to forgive him at all, she knows that, but after everything that happened wants to find a reason to forgive him. But she can't. At the very least, she's begrudgingly accepting of his existence, and can deal with it only for the sake of the team. She doesn't hate him, at all, actually, but to say she's okay with him is also a stretch.

edit: some edits for clarity/demonstration.

#this is basically a ramble on why I think the half-sibling theory is interesting and complicates their dynamic #spreading futaba propaganda just as god intended #i wonder why ik so much about this #looks at the 60k longfic i have saved #text #long post #futaba sakura #goro akechi #p5 spoilers #p5 meta #spoilers #give futaba credit for being interesting!#thinking emoji

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welcome-to-the-end-of-eras · 2 months

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Pulleyverse MCs and How They Sleep At Night

In honor of the fact that I completely conked out after work and just woke up like 20 minutes ago at 2 am :^))))

Thaniel: he has no sense of personal space in his sleep. Just full on fuckin starfish. Mori absolutely does not mind bc Human Weighted Blanket but it takes so much fucking force to make him stay on his own side when need be. He will always apologize but there is not a force on earth that can prevent him from doing it.

Mori: he's definitely a sleep talker, but the kind of sleep talker who only says some buckwild phrase/sentence once and stops until like 45 minutes later. And since he can see into the future it's even fucking weirder bc it's stuff no one has heard of yet. I just picture him in the middle of the night saying modern shit like "wacka flocka flame" out of nowhere and scaring the shit out of everyone around him.

Merrick: SNORES. This man snores so loud I know it in my bones. Growing up Charles invested in a really nice set of earplugs because he could hear his fucking snores through the walls, and even created a will at the ripe age of twelve just so he could leave those earplugs to Merrick's future spouse so they don't have to endure it as well. It is LOUD. Poor Raphael thought there was an earthquake the first time he had to sleep in the same vicinity as him and has not recovered since.

Raphael: idk why but I feel like he sometimes just sleeps with his eyes open. He has them open when he like freezes and stuff so when he goes to sleep his brain kind of interprets it the same and his eyes just end up being open. Either that or he just ends up falling asleep in really weird positions that cannot possibly be comfortable, and gets really confused in the morning when his back hurts.

Joe: he has really vivid dreams. Not just about his memories and past lives and stuff, but he once was so fully convinced that a horse was walking around on the deck of the ship because he could remember seeing one in his dream, it took like five different people on the night rotation to convince him otherwise. And even then he wasn't 100% convinced.

Missouri: no matter what size bed he's sleeping on, he always sleeps stock still like he's in a small ass twin bed. I'm talking stiff as a board, not moving an inch just in case he manages to fall off of like a queen sized bed even when he's in absolutely no danger of falling off. He also seems like the kind of person who can fall asleep standing up for some reason.

Valery: fuckin blanket stealer. Shenkov literally bought himself a second comforter because he was tired of freezing his ass off at night, and still without fail he will end up without a blanket come the morning. He also seems like the kind of person who needs to have some kind of contact with the person they're sleeping next to, and if they move he wakes up immediately and is very much worried that they now suddenly hate him. He just wants to be Cozy your honor :(

Shenkov: he's such a light sleeper that even car headlights shining through the window will wake him up, so he HOARDS melatonin and other sleeping agents like it's gold. In modern times he would have like blackout curtains, white noise machines, sleep masks, the fucking works, as well as a very elaborate bedtime routine that he sticks to religiously to make sure he can sleep for as long as possible.

Bonus Rounds!!!

Flint: he always has to read something to fall asleep. If he doesn't have something to focus on before he falls asleep he will not be able to do it bc his brain just wanders too much. Conversely, he cannot read in the daytime because it will put him to sleep no matter how interested he is in the book.

January (I'm calling my shot with this one, we'll see if I'm right or not): he seems like the kind of person who needs to wear headphones to sleep properly, but he doesn't play any kind of soothing music; on the contrary, it's very dramatic and loud music that he gets very focused on, and that's what helps him sleep.

Gale (again, calling my shot): I feel like they have such a specific and densely layered white noise setting that just puts them to sleep immediately, but if it changes even fractionally they will not be able to sleep at all. Like if one of the twelve different white noise layers gets lowered by >1% they bolt straight up in bed.

#ngl some of my headcanon posts are shots in the dark but this one is one of the more accurate ones imo #natasha pulley #the watchmaker of filigree street #twofs #the lost future of pepperharrow #tlfop #the kingdoms #tk #the bedlam stacks #tbs #the half life of valery k #thlovk

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babiebom · 10 months

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Abigail Headcanons

I had wrote some of these for my old blog but forgot to save them so i forgot what i wrote and now I have to start over haha

Tw: cursing, brief sexual mention, cheating(not abby), some canon info may be wrong lmao

Is between 5'4-5'8

Mostly because she does give off tall goth mommy vibes but also gives off short angry troll vibes(I'm 4'11 I'm allowed to say this)

I think she's like 22-24

It's stayed at some point that she takes online college classes right? Or am i insane?

I do 100% think she's the wizards daughter I mean it does line up and if she's not then wtf

It's more than just the hair

But even then like isn't it said that she only dyed it ONCE and the color just never went away?

Like I feel like its one of those things where she had to activate the trait for it to show up

Like Idk if you've seen Barbie in a (and a?) Mermaid Tale but like

Barbie(her name isn't barbie but i cant remember what it is) doesn't show any mermaid traits at all until shes a certain age then she does things to trigger it(like going in the water and being able to breathe or her hair turning pink.)

Or traits that have been there already now making sense(her being obsessed with the water and surfing)

For Abigail, she just needed to dye her hair that specific color in order for it to stay in that state

And she has other abilities like being able to see the Junimos when literally no one else but the farmer and the wizard can.

And her love of adventure and the unknown

And i think she is a witchy girl along with Emily

Also the fact that Caroline hung out near the wizards tower then got pregnant with Abby

I think she still hangs out there sometimes or maybe its a mod or maybe I'm delusional(this one is a fact)

N e ways i've gone on too long about this

I think she would study for something like archaeology or something or like game development.

Does play video games as much as she can

Does rage quit

Gets angry when she dies

Though its canon that Abby and Seb would end up together if not with the farmer(I think?)

Highkey a toxic gamer but her outbursts are funny so it's allowed

I think she likes games like Undertale, the Sonic games, Mario, hates Valorant with a passion but still plays even though it only makes her angry

I feel like her feelings for him are shallow

Not in a bad way

But in a theres no one else for me to realistically end up with or crush on type thing

Like unless she's going to date one of the girls(I think Pierre is homophobic) Seb is her only choice

I do sorta ship her with Haley tho (goth gf x pink gf)

Does wish to be in the adventurers guilde but i also think she would be terrified

Also realistically I feel like she knows it wouldn't work out for long. Though she does sometimes go in the upper(lower?) levels of the mines.

100 percent prefers her mom to her dad

I think if she ever found out about the wizard possibly being her father it would make her be the most torn she has ever been

Because on one hand she does love pierre hes the man that raised her and I dont think she would accept cheating AT ALL and it would hurt her to know hes not her biological father

But on the other hand she would find it cool that theres a reason for her weirdness

Like theres a reason she can see the weird creatures in the forest when no one else can(to her knowledge)

Theres a reason for her longing to venture out and explore the unknown

And the wizard is pretty freaking cool seeing as she hangs out next to his tower often

Either showers everyday or once every 3 days there's no in between

Probably does want to travel at some point, maybe when she has her own money to spend.

If pierre wanted her to take over his store when he gets too old she would refuse

Is sorta sad she doesn't have any siblings, but at the same is glad because she only has to worry about herself

Learned to play the drums as a way to let out her anger

Has an okay voice when singing, but doesn't know how to properly hit notes without fucking up her voice

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew #sdv abigail #stardew abigail #stardew valley abigail #stardew headcanon #stardew valley headcanons #sdv headcanons #abigail headcanons #sdv abigail headcanons #stardew abigail headcanons #stardew valley abigail headcanons #sdv shitpost #stardew shitpost #stardew valley shitpost

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jascurka · 2 months

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this is purely out of curiosity and i don't want to send hate your way, but do you ship mob and reigen? and if so, why?

I do, yeah. An ex-friend of mine asked me the exact same question (just more... harshly I think and with what I assumed was prejudice) before they decided to part our ways and I could never properly answer them because I was so stressed by the situation, it was hard to gather my thoughts. So I'll do my best to explain here, hopefully to make myself understood better.

Sorry if this gets lenghty >_< I'll just put a readmore right here.

I think the biggest reason for why I like them is their canon relationship that has been explored in the series already quite thoroughly - that they have changed eachother, helped eachother grow and one wouldn't be the person they are without the other. I think most of us understand the depth of it. Reigen is Mob's teacher and friend, someone like an older brother. There surely is a strong bond between them and they've seen each other at their best and worst and still acknowledged and accepted eachother's flaws. They trust eachother, they would give their life for eachother even (at least Reigen would, he almost did in the finale after all). And I do think that they love eachother but in a way that isn't actually romantic in canon. I'm perfectly capable of realizing that and I value it a lot both in the series and in fanworks (one of my fav works of fanfiction is about exactly that).

It was my curiosity that made me search up a ship fic of them, I was just confused why people ship them in the first place and whether it can be good and I found myself enjoying it a lot (to my surprise). It was set into the future, and dealt with some serious topics like loss and acceptance, it was kind of bittersweet. Then I felt that maybe it was just slightly ooc because all of the serirei fics I was busy reading depicted Reigen slightly different. Nontheless, I had the other ship on my mind then so I never really dived into Mob/Reigen, but it changed my perspective on them a lot.

And at some point into all this I realized, why not? Why can't I haz 2 cookies? (god im sorry that was terrible sfjgsdkj). What I mean is that the buildup canon offers can be taken further - more of their relationship can be explored in terms of new tropes, sometimes romantic too.

On a personal note I'll just add that I'm rather picky about them and tend to stick to fluff, hurt/comfort and slow slow burns. And I like them most post-canon, a few years into the future. It turns out that it all depends on how they're portrayed for me to like them anyways. I talked on here recently about a work that really had it all and portrayed their relationship in a very satisfying and mature way, with all the complicated feelings, it felt very realistic, especially on Reigen's side. So if anyone wants, here's a rec from me again -> in my dreams (I seem to be more honest) on ao3, just because I think it has all that I like about the ship.

I think that this is the whole point of fanworks - to kind of look further and have fun with it, to see "what if?". Even if it's something sort of.. taboo I guess? Because you get to take it apart in a fictional dimension (if that makes sense). And I completely understand if this is something that can ick some people out or that someone doesn't want to ruin their perception of the characters' relationship. That's totally fine by me and I'm not going to force anyone into liking the ship of course. And there are definitely tropes and tags I really don't want to look into - not everything is for me either.

And I think this goes without saying but I'll add it here anyways: what I like to see in fiction doesn't mean I would like or encourage anyone to do the same thing in real life! It's just interesting to explore from a safe distance where no one can get hurt.

#I didn't mean to make it this long sorry T_T #answered #you dont need to read the fic of course jsdfhskjf i just put it here for anyone interested #also big thanks for asking respectfully #I really appreciate it!

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ithebookhoarder · 2 years

Text

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back (Obi-Wan x Reader): Part 2

Summary: After Obi-wan’s accident, and Anakin’s brutal words, you left the Jedi Temple to try and let you both move on. However, you soon realise that forgetting your fellow Jedi is harder than you thought...

Part 1 - Part 2

A/N: Well, it’s been a hot minute since I wrote the first part of this and I know people were keen for a follow-up but I always struggled to get the words out. However, I blame the new Kenobi series for utterly re-igniting the flame I have for this character and this came out - finally! That and the fact the third episode has RUINED me today...

Warnings: Angst, mention of injury, implied smut / start of smut

Masterlist:

It had been two weeks since the night you’d left - or, run away, if you were being more accurate.

In fact, despite remaining with Padmé at the embassy for the duration of her stay, you couldn’t help but feel like you were still running. Every time you ignored a message, or a call, or even the very mention of anything to do with Obi-wan Kenobi you felt your heart ache worsen.

Just because leaving was the right thing didn’t make it the easy thing.

You couldn’t just magically forget the past fifteen years or so, no matter how much you wanted to. Maybe then you could find some kind of peace.

Maybe then you wouldn’t be up all night imaging the pain and confusion he must have been feeling, waking up and finding out that he had saved your life, only for you to have left and ended things without a word to his face.

Yeah. You pretty much hated yourself too at this point.

You could only hope it got easier with time.

Until then, however, you were content to bury yourself in your work and the reason you were actually here on this planet - to watch over the woman sat next to you, strapping herself into your ship as you prepared to escort her to the latest in a long line of meetings.

How Padmé could do it day after day, never complaining or showing her exhaustion publicly, was beyond you. In private, though, it was a whole other story. In fact, her tales about some of the long and dreary meetings she’d been stuck in were the highlight of your evenings. Last night had been particularly amusing, with Padmé sharing how one senator had actually fallen asleep during the ten minute rant another had given at the proposal of increasing taxes in the area.

You’d snorted into your tea, trying and failing not to picture it. It was the kind of thing you’d have normally passed on to Obi-wan. For, despite his sometimes sensible exterior, he had a sense of humour like yours and irritating senators, in particular, always made him chuckle.

You’d reached for your comms device, force of habit taking over as you went to message him. However, the sight of the numerous unopened messages already waiting for you on the screen were enough of a reminder for you to put it down.

The soft sigh that had escaped your lips didn’t go unnoticed by Padmé, but she hadn’t said a word. Not until now, anyway.

“You know Anakin called earlier.”

You blinked, tensing for just a moment as you focused on programming your flight plan into the ship’s mainframe. “Oh?”

“Yes. He wanted to know how we were getting along.” Padmé smiled. “Don’t worry, I said we were making progress even if things have been running a bit behind schedule since that storm the other day. He also said Obi-wan is back on his feet again… just, you know, in case you were wondering.”

You paused. You could sense the question in her tone, as if she could see straight through you and the nonchalant way you nodded. “Well… good. I’m glad to hear it.”

“He asked after you.”

“Anakin did?”

“Yes, but on behalf of Master Obi-wan, who says he still hasn’t heard from you since we left.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh. I don’t know why you’re surprised. He’s your friend, Y/N,” Padmé scoffed, rolling her eyes at you.

She sounded surprised and a little confused as she looked away from her harness, and turned her chair to face you. To be fair, apathy at the news that Obi-wan was alive and well was not exactly your style.

You might have well as just come out and said that something was wrong. Why else weren’t you dancing with joy?

“I don’t know what happened between you but I know you both. You can work it out. You can only spend so long hiding from your problems, staying with me on this planet and ignoring his messages. He’ll still be there when you get back and he clearly misses you.”

It took everything in you not to break. As it was, you gripped the controls a little tighter than necessary as you chose to prepare the ship for flight rather than meet the Senator’s gaze. “That’s the problem.”

“Problem?”

“Forget I said anything.”

“But Y/N-“

“Padmé. Please.” You hated how your voice cracked. “Drop it.”

Padmé sighed but honoured your request. She didn’t say another word about it, even if you did catch her shooting you pitying looks throughout the rest of the day. Maker knows what she thought was going on between the pair of you.

You didn’t even know how to explain it to yourself. How were you supposed to explain it to Obi-wan? After all, he deserved an explanation and you knew he’d be asking for one the moment he was back on the same planet as you were.

At least he was well enough to do so. That was the thought that gave you comfort as you tried to suppress your pain and focus on the task at hand. You were supposed to be working, after all.

So, you held your head high, doing your best to look the part of a Jedi.

Standing guard as you chaperoned Padmé through her various meetings was a good distraction, as was making sure that there were no possible threats to the proceedings in general; It was hard to think about anything else when you were busy thinking about how many possible weak spots there were in the room for a brave assassin to target.

The answer - as you determined - was 34. 35 if they happened to be under 4 feet tall…

Needless to say, you were glad to make it back to the embassy in one piece as the day drew to a close. A hot bath and a tall glass of whatever alcohol you could get your hands on sounded divine right about then to help ease the pain of listening into hours and hours of diplomatic jargon that made no sense to you.

With a smile, you bid Padmé a goodnight, watching as she went into her rooms across the hall, before you turned to do the same.

However, you’d barely stepped over the threshold before you heard it.

“So, this is where you’ve been hiding.”

The voice made you jump as did the sight of the man sat, waiting for you, on the sofa in your room. Without looking up you knew who it was; you knew that voice anywhere.

“Obi-wan… what? What are you doing here? I thought you were back at the temple resting. Should you even be up?”

“Hello to you too,” he smirked, his usual sarcastic tone oddly comforting. “I’m alive and in one piece, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Thank the Maker for that.

Given the condition you’d last seen him in, battered, bruised, and bandaged within an inch of his life, you couldn’t believe how normal he appeared (most likely the result of Anakin’s diligent care and an impressive amount of time in a Bacta tank). He barely had a hair out of place.

It took everything in you to fight the sudden urge to throw yourself into his arms and prove to yourself that he was indeed alright.

Instead, you took a step closer, trying your best to compose yourself so that he wouldn’t feel the way your heart threatened to burst out of your chest. Then again, it was most likely too late. He’d probably sensed it the moment you’d entered the room.

He’d caught you off guard and he knew it - it had most likely been his plan all along.

“Anakin said as much to Padmé. We were both relieved to hear you were out of the med bay.”

“Were you? I must have missed that message. Then again, something must be wrong with your comms,” Obi continued, his meaning clear as he gestured to your traitorous data padd lying on the caff table in front of him. “After all, I’ve left several messages the past few weeks which have gone unanswered. Needless to say, I was surprised to arrive to find your communicator is, in fact, working.”

“Well, I...” you stammered, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks at his accusation.

Nervousness seemed to have crept up on you, because all you could do was stand there like an idiot, your breath caught in your throat. It felt like you were a youngling again, standing before Master Yoda as he scolded you for whatever mischief you and Obi-wan had got yourselves into.

“Yes?”

“I left a note-“

“Ah, yes,” Obi hummed, rising to his feet. “I was wondering when you would mention that. Would you care to enlighten me as to why you left the temple without a word, other than that note?”

You gulped. “Because Padmé needed an escort and there wasn’t time for me to wait, to tell you in person. I said all I needed to in that note.”

“We both know that isn’t the truth, Y/N. Please. I came here because clearly this is the only way to get you to talk to me-”

“Well, you should have saved yourself a trip because there’s nothing to talk about.” Your voice cracked as you turned around, feeling a wave of guilt wash over your body at the sight of him. He looked so tired, so distraught, and you knew it wasn’t just the accident that was to blame. Yet again, you left nothing but pain in your wake. “Please, Obi. You shouldn’t have come. Just… leave me alone.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Obi-Wan-”

“Please.”

His tone almost broke you.

You never had been able to deny him. He had somehow rooted himself deep within you, tethering himself to you with an invisible string that somehow always drew you back to one another. Even now, it felt like he was tugging on your heart, causing a deep ache at the thought of banishing him from your side.

You let out a sigh of reluctance. “Fine, but only because we both know Anakin learned his stubbornness from having you as a Master and I don’t need you following me around until I give in.”

“Thank you.” Obi-wan was quick to nod his head in gratitude (even if he didn’t refute your point).

Somethings hadn’t changed.

You remembered the first time he had tried that tactic on you, constantly shadowing you around the halls of the temple until you agreed to help him steal Qui-Gon’s ship on a dare. You were only ten at the time, but it felt like you had known each other for a whole lifetime - it had been that way since the moment you’d first laid eyes on one another as younglings.

Despite fearing the consequences of what would happen if you two were caught, you had eventually agreed to help, unable to resist him for long.

How simple things had been back then…

You sighed.

“You know, you didn’t exactly answer my question before. What are you doing here? And why do I feel as if Padmé is somehow involved in this?”

“Because you always were rather perceptive,” Obi-wan chuckled, reclaiming his spot on the couch behind him.

He gestured to the seat opposite in clear invitation - one you decided to accept, despite the fact that this was technically your room. After all, it had been a long day and if you were to open this particular wound then you would at least be seated whilst doing it.

You were also relieved, but not surprised, to see he had already helped himself to your tea collection too. At least he’d had the decency to pour you a cup.

“That, and we both know our friend, Senator Amidala, all too well. She simply cannot stand not being able to fix something, including us it seems.”

That sounded like Padmé. Hell, you’d been in that meeting room long enough today to know the true extent of his words. Padmé saw every problem as a puzzle to solve, and nearly every time, she did - even if it meant sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, or getting herself in the middle of trouble along the way.

No wonder she and Anakin were close. They were practically the same person, in that regard, and were more than likely responsible for the few grey hairs both you and Obi-Wan had discovered over the years.

“Us? What - but I - I haven’t told anyone anything -”

“You may not have, but I cannot say the same for Anakin,” Obi smirked, sipping his tea as if to hide the expression. “Nor, his eager apprentice, either. Apparently they may have mentioned to Padmé about our… lack of communication, amongst other things.”

Why were you not surprised?

“Of course they did.”

Maker, you hated this.

You hated that you had acted as judge, jury, and executioner without letting him plead his case.

You hated the echoing chasm that now existed between the both of you.

But most of all? You hated that you left and stayed away for so long.

It shouldn't have been this way; you should have been at his bedside when he awoke, ready to thank him, and celebrate his recovery in person. You should have been helping him heal his wounds, rather than hiding away and licking your own.

“I was a coward.”

Saying the words aloud somehow made you feel lighter, even if you knew it would take more than words to fix this. The guilt was enough to cause your eyes to water, while you tried your best not to look at him.

However, admitting the truth was the first step on a long road to enlightenment, as Master Yoda had once said.

“I was a coward and I ran. I ran from you and the feelings I had for you - the feelings that I know you feel for me too. That crash was too close, Obi. I almost lost you and what’s worse is that it was because of me. I hurt you. Even Anakin knew it. You would never have done something so dangerous and stupid otherwise. You took out that fighter, at cost to yourself, because of me.”

The confession came pouring out of you.

“So, I ran and I left that note because I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t say those things to your face without you knowing that I didn’t mean them, because I don’t - and I’m trying so hard, Obi. I want to honour you and the promise you made to the order, to Master Qui-Gon and Anakin… I don’t want to put you in that position.”

“So you left?”

“Yes.”

“You made that decision for me, on my behalf?”

You blinked, sensing the hurt behind his words. “Yes. I did, and I’m sorry... I love you too much to do this to us anymore. I thought by making the choice for you I was sparing you pain in the long run.”

“Well, you thought wrong. I need you to hear me when I say this, Y/N. I choose you. I choose you, no matter what it means for us or whatever our future may look like. I choose you because I love you and I have for as long as I can remember.”

You knew how much he meant what he said when he used that tone. It's the one he used often when addressing the council or when there was some sort of important threat that needed to be dealt with. It was resolute, and left no room for misunderstanding.

“These feelings came to be all on their own, and I could never resent you for them. You didn’t force me to feel this way, nor do you force me to act in any way I would not choose to do myself. Do you understand?”

“Obi-wan… I-" you choked, unable to convince yourself that he was not still angry with you. However, he seemed to know exactly what intrusive thoughts were plaguing you - the same ones that had caused you to flee in the first place. The ones that told you deep down you weren’t enough, that this was a mistake, that he couldn’t possibly be here saying these things to you.

"Tell me that you understand that. Please."

You gnawed at your bottom lip. "I... understand."

Relief flooded in his eyes at your words.

Finally, both of you seemed to be on the same page, but it still didn't erase the shame you felt. Tears rolled down your cheeks as your lips trembled.

“Obi, I'm so sorry... you were hurt and I abandoned you. Seeing you like that, and knowing my part in it all, I let my emotions take over and you didn’t deserve that. I left and I should've stayed. I messed things up-"

The words died on your lips as he took your face in his scarred hands, passionately pressing his lips against yours.

Your mind was reeling but all you could do was hum in the kiss, fighting the urge to pull away.

No.

No more running from this.

On that point, he was right; whatever steps you took next you would take together, and denying this connection was clearly not possible. Not when it consumed you so entirely, your soul crying out for his and causing your knees to go weak.

His lips clashed with yours, his fingers threaded through your hair, tilting your face up. That devious smile grew, and your toes curled in your boots as you saw the smile you’d spent the last few weeks dreaming about. “There’s my darling, Y/N.”

“Obi,” you sighed.

It was odd how much you’d missed this… missed him… even the way his beard lightly scratched your chin as you kissed him made your heart skip a beat. You felt as if you were somehow complete, like a piece of you had been missing but now returned as he took you in his arms, pulling you roughly against him.

You were his and he was yours.

"I'm never letting you out of my sight ever again, you understand me?"

“I’m never leaving you again,” you whined earnestly, a smile of your own escaping your lips as he began to trail his kisses against your jawline and neck. He knew you all too well and was clearly not above playing dirty when it came to reminding you.

Hence his choice of tactic, tilting you both backwards until you lay against the sofa cushion - penned in, with no escape, you were forced to listen as he pulled back long enough to meet your watery gaze once more.

“I need you to remember, it's ok to get scared. It's human. You're afraid of losing me the same way I'm afraid of losing you, Y/N,” Obi stated firmly. "I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you’re beside me, wherever that may be.”

You stared up at him with a hesitant, watery smile.

His throat bobbed. “I missed you. Every second, every breath. Not just this,” he said, shifting his hips for emphasis and dragging a groan from deep in your throat, “but … talking to you. Being with you. Having you beside me. I missed having you as my friend even more.”

Your eyes burned. “I know.”

As soon as the words left your lips, his arms tightened around you in reply, his forehead lowering to press to your shoulder.

You stroked a hand through his silken hair.

“I know. Never again,” you promised him, and whispered it over and over.

Taglist (people who asked about part 2):

@obiwanownsmyass @tommysparker @graniairish @itscheybaby @blondekel77

#obi wan kenobi #Obi-Wan Kenobi #obi wan #obi wan x reader #obi-wan x you #obi-wan X reader #obi-wan x y/n #kenobi #Kenobi series #Kenobi x reader #Kenobi x you #star wars #star wars prequels #Star Wars x reader #obi-wan kenobi x reader

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