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#it makes me sad to think about but i genuinely cannot remember the last time we went a full 24 hours without her yelling about something
practically-an-x-man · 4 months
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my mom has been upset with one of my dogs all day.
it has been a very loud day.
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pepprs · 2 years
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the way i am going to need to be tranquilized and sedated to get through tomorrow. god fucking help me
#purrs#particularly from like 1:30-3:30 specifically. i do not know how i will be able to get work done. i do not know how i am going to be able to#not fucking die. i really feel like i am going to pass out. i can’t do this i really truly genuinely cannot#every time i remember. like just… there are implications of this i have not even THOUGHT OF yet. that haven’t even crossed my MIND that are#still so engrained in my life and way of thinkjng and being. and i don’t know ifim gonna make her uncomfortable or panicked or guilty by#sobbing my eyes out not to mention other people witnessing that but there is NO WAY im gonna be able to not sob hysterically. this is#legitimatelt one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me in my whole life which says something about how much pain i have#experienced as a human being and how ridiculous it is that im freaking out over this LOL. but ummmmmm. this is……. this is so bad. i think#everything after tomorrow will be very hard (because i’ll miss her terribly) but it’ll be okay because it’s like this is the reality and now#we have to just like move forward and yeah im gonna have breakdowns on here abt how i feel like we aren’t properly grieving it or whatever a#and how i want time to like cope with it and not keep movi ng at 38472974mph WHILEALSO trying to not convey panic. but it’s been this#excruciating mindfuck of a situation bc she’s still HERE. STILL USING THE ‘WE’ THE DAY BEFORE SHE LEAVES! LIKE WHAT IS GOING ONBNNN THE COGN#COGNITIVE FUCKING DISSONANCE OF IT ALL!!!!! and like seeing her and having her stuff still around and whatever is um. it’s bad. it’s really#making it hard for me to accept that this is happening. so tomorrow is it then and we will drag ourselves through it and i swear to god i#will be hysterically crying. maybe even as i walk in and see her there knowing it’s the last time. LOL. like how do i not…. omgggggggg 😍😍😍😍😍#this is so so so bad. why is this happening. not only is it embarrassing and humiliating but it’s like girl thisis an office this is work it#it’s really not that big a deal. BUT IT IS. TO US. TO ME. WHY IS SHE DOING THIS? i am about to punch the WALL. but nothing will help or make#it better until time passes or if she randomly decides not to do it. idk .i just can’t believe it. im so angry and sad and hurt and scared.#tomorrow will straight up kill me. it really actually seriously will. i don’t know how im gonna get through it. LOL#delete later
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luthienne · 1 year
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there's just something about the fact that sometimes we are genuinely given too much to bear and we think i cannot do this anymore i cannot bear this for even another minute for even another second and then we do. until either the circumstances change or we change how we react to them. and then we have to find the courage to do it again and again and again. and everyone you've ever met has had to experience this in some form because that's just living.
and the knowing that we can never go back to how it was before feels too heavy sometimes. like i can't swallow that sometimes. we drove to my dad's last fall because i couldn't bear my life. we went to go spend the day with him and then just didn't leave because i couldn't bear the thought of coming home and living my life; i couldn't bear the thought of facing the grief that slept there and kept me from sleeping, i couldn't bear the thought of starving in my kitchen and sobbing in my shower and watching my ceiling spin above me from where i wept on my couch.
over the next few weeks we accumulated belongings in my brother's childhood bedroom. mine has since been turned into the room where boxes of stuff live. so i cried myself to sleep in his bed. i sobbed in our childhood shower. i forced myself to eat in my dad's kitchen. i forced myself to practice in his living room. i wept on his couch. i stayed up all night staring at the dark sky through his windows.
i sat in the dark and wished i could go back countless times and i grieved for myself and i grieved for my mom and i grieved for the life i thought i was going to have that was gone now. and i started a gratitude journal like my therapist told me to because sometimes in very difficult moments i couldn't remember anything that made my life worth living anymore. i found no joy in anything. and i felt like time was running out on me and i was powerless in every way.
and it felt so unfair, like no matter what i did i just couldn't catch a break. like it didn't matter what i did.
my therapist asked me if i could remember the first time i ever had that terrible thought: what if this lasts forever, what if this feeling lasts forever. i was seventeen. trapped in my own body in someone else's bedroom, staring up at someone else’s ceiling painted blue with white clouds. wishing i could go back to before, when my body did the things i told it to do and didn't exist as a traitorous, useless creature separate from me and my wants. i'm still wishing that.
i know she wants me to challenge this terrible thought with the hard-won knowledge that that moment didn't last forever, and so this one won't either. and i try. i develop a routine and i try to follow it, to give myself a sense of normalcy and purpose: wake up, meditate, make a smoothie, journal, practice, go to work. my dad tells me the names of trees on our walks and points out his favorite leaves on the sidewalk. we wrap my mom in scarves and take her to the foothills. my beloved sits with me and holds my hands when i fall apart, and in the dark i sit with my body and remind myself that nothing lasts forever.
i am eating again, and sleeping. i am singing again. i am noticing how beautiful it is when the light catches on wings of birds in the sky and remembering how much i love the smell of the desert in the rain. i am reading, and watching old comfort shows that bring me comfort again.
i finally moved back home. and the grief is still there and i still can't bear the unbearable sadness sometimes. but also sometimes right before dusk the sun turns the mountains pale pink and the sky is soft slate above them and the light that comes through the windows feels impossibly warm and close like a physical presence. like i can almost touch it back. and then the air turns impossibly blue. like i am living inside of dusk and breathing dusk, inhaling blue and exhaling blue.
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anemoiashifts · 22 days
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permashifting & sv!c!dal ideation & early shiftok.
im so fucking scared to post this. tw.
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ive been in the shifting community for four/five years now & most of my time was watching quietly from the sidelines up until last july when i made my shiftok account. i want to preface this by saying these are my experiences & observations & ive always been pretty firm on my stance. ive spoke about this (i think) twice on tiktok & will now give some updated insight. i don’t expect everything to agree with me but please don’t jump down my throat for saying what im going to. i respect you, please respect me. cool? yes? okay !!
there are similarities between sv!c!dal ideation & permashifting & im so so sick of people hardly taking about it. what re-sparked this interest in the topic was i saw someone make a video on their views towards the topic & i do resonate with their points heavily. this was the only video ive ever seen of anyone making a video like this minus myself & it’s been long overdue.
to clarify, im not against permashifting completely im against how permashifting is spoken about & how it’s promoted. it’s wayyy too casual & ive seen a lot of triggering things in my comment sections / confession submissions. i used to get about five of these or so (ppl saying they wanted to unalive themselves) a week when i was actively doing them but they’ve since kinda died down. if, me, an account with (at the time) ~15,000 tiktok followers were seeing this, i cannot imagine the kind of messages those 100,000 followers shiftokers were getting.
another thing that i haven’t spoke about too much is the sv!c!de notes id receive. i got about two or three of them. ignoring the overstepping of boundaries & oversharing, my heart goes out to those who submitted those. i think shifting came at a time when everyone was bored & cooped up inside & shiftokers could’ve unknowingly preyed upon people’s loneliness & vulnerability. i remember people could say things like “im k!11!ng myself tonight so I’ll wake up in my dr” & the fact that was even a thing is so beyond horrific. im gonna put some confessions ive gotten in the past just to show you what i was seeing daily at one point. scroll a ways down if you don’t want to to see. sorry ! idk how to blur it but would if i found out how to.
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i wanta take a sec to call out all the adult shifters who neglected to speak about this.
i hear people say “but if they didn’t discover shifting they wouldn’t still be here” or “it buys people more time”. i get it. really, i do & i don’t think that’s a bad thing. what i do think the bad thing really is, is the adult shifting creators who enable the kind of talk & push that shifting is this other option without telling people to take care of themselves in this reality. the mental well-being & safety of people should always be put first, especially with spaces involving a lot of children when most of the information comes from the mouths of adults. shifting was popularized by tiktok at the height of c0v!d & everyone was arguably at their lowest. i think the timing in which shifting was introduced helped shiftok get popular at the time (along with harry potter trending, of course) & a lot of ppl saw it as a trend to latch onto & leech off of to grow a platform. i think some people totally — probably unintentionally — took advantage of peoples desperation for an escape for profit. that’s what I’ve felt with some former / earlier shifting creators, anyways. that’s why shiftokers are seen as these figures that were/are looked up to so heavily because they’ve gotten something that people with destructive situations are so desperate for & i think that’s really diabolical & sad.
this post isn’t to shit on shiftokers completely, not the modern shiftokers anyway. i have some really cool mutuals who genuinely post insightful content. i think tiktok has gotten a little better with some bumps every now & then but it’s not as bad as 2020.
i don’t think shiftokers are doing this intentionally. & who knows ? maybe they’re are afraid their audience will get upset or off put or they’ll lose support but the longer we put the conversation off the more people’s mental health will worsen. whatever the reason may be, keeping numbers up or getting “canceled” isn’t worth it at the risk of lives of children. it’s long overdue.
then the idea of escapism comes in. escapism isn’t bad. arguably, most things we do are escapism; reading, scrolling on tumblr. its how we look & obsess & look at that escapism. that’s when it becomes unhealthy. the consept of shifting as an escape from something like depression can exacerbate those feelings of because people do struggle to actually shift. that state of “waiting” to shift can be extremely difficult if you’re not struggling mentally, so if you’re struggling mentally on top of trying to shift without success? also throwing being a minor onto that.
anyways this post was all over the place because i could talk about this for hours. i have no idea if this will ever have a place on tiktok or if I’ll even end up posting this to tumblr. this was very ramble-y but a very important ramble imo. i tried to organize & keep this short to the best of my ability. feel free to agree, disagree but these are my poorly organized thoughts.
a little reminder to enjoy the journey & process of shifting rather then hyper focusing on “the end” of it. take a break if you find you self only thinking about shifting and not doing stuff you gotta do here or if your making yourself sick over it. it isn’t the end of the world if you don’t shift. i believe everyone is here for a reason & i can promise you everything will work out in the end.
to those who resonate with mental health struggles & shifting, my heart goes out to you & only with you the best. be gentle with yourself — that goes for all of you.
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bengiyo · 10 months
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La Pluie: The Kindness is the Point
Hello again, friends and fellow clowns. It’s a Saturday evening and I have recovered from the Devil’s Nap. I’ve seen some great posts already, and I feel compelled to share some thoughts as well following Episode 9 of La Pluie. This episode focused on the fact that Patts has always been a kind person and that Nara is deserving of grace. This show displays a gentleness for its characters that feels so queer to me because so many of us can appreciate how difficult it is to have love, and the way this show goes out of its way to NOT punch down on its characters cannot be overstated.
Nara Gets What She Needed and What We All Deserve
Before I get into talking about Nara, please go read @liyazaki post about the breakup scene and @lurkingshan talking about how Nara’s role in this show subverts the faen fatale trope. Both are brilliant, and I cannot do them justice in any reiteration.
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gif by @liyazaki
I absolutely love how this show treats Nara. It’s the exact opposite of bisexual erasure. We have seen across five episodes now that Patts’ feelings for Nara were incredibly real and sincere. They loved each other. When he began hearing Saengtai it became a completely understandable problem in their relationship. Saengtai doesn’t get jealous of the former relationship between them; he instead gets upset because he sees that once again the soulmate connection has caused pain in another relationship. We could have left Nara behind in the last episode and totally been fine, but this show said that she deserves closure, and she doesn’t deserve to lose her friends.
Nara comes to Saengtai and apologizes unknowingly interfering in his relationship with Patts, states that she wouldn’t have done any of this if she had known about them and apologizes for causing his misunderstanding (implying that she blames herself for sending him into his mountain spiral). Tai instead apologizes to her for causing so much trouble and says that all of this was because of his own troubles. You can see the sigh of relief in Nara and the immediate drop in tension.  Nara offers that she likes Tai and Patts as a pair, and clearly says something about Patts’ body to make Saengtai blush. I think it’s wonderful that Tai doesn’t have to leave this trip feeling any kind of ambivalence for his boyfriend’s ex.
Later, Dream brings Nara along to the party, and everyone checks on Tai and Patts to see how this will play out. Tai assures everyone that they talked, and Nara is instantly welcomed back into the fold. The other vets are genuinely relieved to have her back with them and reminisce about old times they had together. After the party montage Patts uses the truth or dare game to pull Nara aside and have one final conversation with her about their relationship.
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gif by @liyazaki
Mor already wrote beautifully about the Patts and Nara scene (linked above), and I think it’s so special that this show gave us this scene. This show began with Tai letting us know that his soulmate parents divorced. He has painful feelings wrapped up in how soulmate relationships dissolve, and he still feels a lot of angst about his own parents. I think it’s incredibly helpful for Saengtai to see that Patts and Nara still love each other despite not being able to move forward as lovers.
Finally, the show lets Nara be sad about the end of her romance with Patts. Despite the friendship they might rebuild and maintain in the future, her pain is real, and it matters, too. She’s allowed to have a moment of sadness with Dream and weep for the hopes that she must let go. There are even hints that perhaps Dream held a quiet crush on Nara before (@slayerkitty and @respectthepetty). How wonderfully kind it is of this show to show so many different people holding unrequited feelings for each other without it turning into angst or cruelty. The end of one relationship is not the end of love. Hopefully Tai remembers this as we get back into some of his family drama.
We needed to see the amount of grace extended to Nara. In a show about how love is an active and ongoing choice, there’s no way we could move forward without honoring Nara. I also think it’s important that Nara acknowledge the love between two men as special and valuable as Tai also acknowledges that her love with Patts is valuable. Despite the complex queer relationship chart being drawn across this friend group, everyone is determined to keep folks together.
Patts Has Always Been Good
Let’s talk about Patts. We’ve been saying for weeks that he’s a good guy and that the show has given us no real reason to be suspicious of him. I loved the reveal about him being The Kind One. I’m also curious about the temper he mentioned he has to Nara.
We finally got @shortpplfedup to watch the show, and she nailed down immediately that the core themes are about the choice to love each other in small ways constantly. I cannot stress enough that for all the writing and thinking we’ve done this episode, Tai and Patts do not refer to each other as soulmates this episode at all. They are boyfriends now. They are boyfriends because Patts has always been kind. They are boyfriends because Saengtai has been open to kindness even when he’s hurting and a bit scared.
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gif by @liyazaki
My man Patts loves to write notes.
I love the reveal that Patts and Tai happened to be neighbors years ago. Patts was seeing Nara at the time, which we know because the grandmother asked about her. We know that Patts was an attentive and diligent grandson who happened to notice that Tai was clearly going through something. He didn’t even know what Tai looked like. He just saw that he was hurting and wanted to help. We know that help mattered to Tai to the point that even Tien knows about it. When Patts’ grandmother dies, Tai goes out of his way to send that kindness right back.
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gifs by @liyazaki
What’s more, you can see these two falling even deeper in love with each other as soon as they recognize that they were briefly pen pals during a very difficult time in their lives. This is great news for fans like me who liked episode six opening with a high heat scene, because Tai is wearing this sweater in the scenes we saw in the trailer during what felt like their first time.
We eatin’ good next week. (“Not as good as Patts.” - @ginnymoonbeam )
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However, Patts mentioned to Nara that he has a temper, and we’ve seen that he’s painfully aware of Lomfon’s interest in Tai. I like the show’s choice to hold Lomfon’s conversation with Patts until next week, because it doesn’t matter to Tai. Tai isn’t interested in Lomfon in any way comparable to Patts. I’m excited to see Lomfon get decked for interfering, and for Tai to get mad at Patts for feeling threatened.
I Love Everyone in This Show
I think it’s notable that Saengtien has dropped any pretense that he enjoys being around Lomfon, and I like that it clearly complicates Lomfon’s own feelings. You can see that Lomfon doesn’t even know how to deal with the passive kindness Tai extends to him just because he’s close to his brother.
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gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul
I loved the vets being excited to welcome Nara back into the circle. I also like them joking about finding something new to tease Patts and Tai about.
I loved Dream going to Nara and giving her a shoulder to cry on.
I loved Kung and Bow cheering for Tai and Patts new relationship.
I loved Tai giving Bow yet another cutting look to not get into his time with Patts and teasing her even as she was trying to exit the scene.
I loved Tai and Tien continuing their bit of poking each other in the face with Tien pouting at the end with “I’m your little brother!”
I love Patts’ grandmother passing these notes back and forth just because it was something her grandson wanted.
I love Saengnuea not even being sure if he should do the “don’t hurt my brother” thing with Patts because he’s younger than Patts. I also love him taking care of his brother’s cat so he could go on the trip and complaining that the cat wouldn’t reciprocate his love.
In so many ways this show is about how important it is to extend a little bit of kindness to each other. It’s about how far just a little bit of grace goes. What with Be My Favorite also saying something similar this week (@ginnymoonbeam), I am enjoying some of the themes in the more dramatic shows this year. So, “Please. Be kind, especially when we don’t know what’s going on.”
Thank you as always for coming to my post.
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meraki-yao · 2 months
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I dont remember who said this before but theres this interview where the lead actor said something like sometimes when acting you cant help but to develop feelings towards your co stars during filming period as in the crush is always there but the question is to act on it or not after filming ended. I have few pairs in my mind who *probably* developed feelings and not act on it. And TN *cough* are in that list too like the chemistry is a bit too real
... okay, here's my honest thought on this. Because truthfully, I think about this from time to time.
Again, deals with real-person shipping, if you disagree with it or are uncomfortable with the subject, please leave and don't read under the cut. If you read it and come yelling at me, I'll just delete it. I mean I warned you.
I've heard about that, and as someone who really enjoys learning about acting both in practice and theory, I think it's ... sort of inevitable at times. You're playing someone else, you're living another life, sometimes lines get blurred. It depends on the actors and their method, but yeah. I completely understand the idea or tendency to actually develop feelings.
And with Taylor and Nick's sheer amount of amazing chemistry on and off screen, not gonna lie, it's fairly reasonable to suspect and they belong in that case as well.
But on my part, there's this one thing that makes me confused and nervous about this:
Taylor and Nick's dynamic and trajectory are jarringly similar to one of my other ships and one of the only two rps ships that I genuinely believed in (the other one was Dan and Phil). I won't name them because there's... a lot of complicated shit happening in that fandom, but I'll simplify the name to JZ. (it's Chinese btw, and it's two men)
And the thing is, JZ were also co-stars playing a couple on-screen and had great chemistry both on and off-screen, so people were finding "candies" of them left right and centre.
BUT THEN, on the very last day of the promo period of their show, during an accidental live stream, THEY WERE CAUGHT WEARING MATCHING WEDDING RINGS. I DON'T THINK THERE'S A PLATONIC EXPLANATION FOR THAT. (this and this, it's a very distinct shape, we call it the hex nut)
And the sad thing is because they're in China, if they were truly together, they can't come out without completely ruining their careers. And then more drama happened that I don't want to get into because it's too big of a topic and someone on here definitely summarized the issue better, but either way, due to circumstances, they literally cannot be seen together. It's not a matter of choosing not to be seen; due to the aforementioned drama, they don't have a choice at all.
But EVEN THEN, and it's been 2.5 years since the drama, THEY'RE STILL DROPPING CANDY. AND SEEMINGLY DELIBERATELY, AND THAT'S AS GOOD AS COMING OUT IN THE SOCIETY THEY'RE IN.
When I say there are similarities and parallels between TN and JZ, I mean it, holy shit.
I could make a whole list on it, but I'm not entirely comfortable with posting that at the moment, so I'll just name a few:
Nick and Z both started their acting careers in musicals
Taylor and J are distinctly puppy-coded
Taylor and J didn't take the acting school route: they studied something else in school and started modelling before acting
Both sets get very hyped when with each other
The wedding band thing is sort of in the same category of candy as the Cartier watch I mentioned before (oh and btw a follow-up on the Cartier watch candy will be in my next TN candies post)
Both sets were accused of having no chemistry upon casting and during shooting, but as soon as the project aired and people actually watched their performance, everyone acknowledged that their chemistry was exceptional
Taylor is... protective? caring? adoring? the Chinese word is 寵 toward Nick (see the GQ quiz and Taylor giddily giving Nick hints) J is the same way towards Z (I might remember this wrong, it's been two years, but I think in a game show J also gave Z hints or sort of let him win or something)
Taylor turning toward Nick with his arm slung over the back of Nick's chair during the GQ editorial after Nick talked about his broken ankle vs J paying extra attention and making sure that Z never puts extra weight on his knee that he unfortunately permanently damaged
... yeah I'll leave it at that for now.
Can you see how this is driving me insane? Like, what the fuck? I've seen this pattern once before!
Like if it weren't for this, before I saw the parallels, I really kind of thought they were really good friends. And I still stand by that.
But then this comes up?????
Ultimately I truly do mean what I said before: I only care that the boys have a good relationship, what's the nature of that relationship, none of my business, I don't really mind. That's theirs to define and disclose if they want to.
But upon seeing the parallel, in my head, the scale went from to leaning towards the platonic side to the middle of the spectrum.
That being said, I need to reiterate this: ultimately this is all speculation done in good fun. I will never harass the boys or treat anything about their personal life as fact unless it comes from them. Their personal lives are ultimately their own, no one else is in a position to dig into it.
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theoryofarson · 4 months
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10 BL Characters I Want Carnally
I don't even need to be tagged to be horny. Let's go!
In no particular order:
Third (Theory of Love)
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He's so pathetic! He cries so much! He's so rude and mean and bitchy! His shirts are so big and his shorts are so small!
In conclusion, I would treat him right - the way Khai does NOT.
Nick (Only Friends)
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Speaking of PATHETIC!!!! THAT'S MY TOXIC BABYGIRL! MY CANCELLED BOYGIRLWIFESBAND! Sand really wasted an opportunity in that van. It should have been me...
Pa (Bad Buddy)
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You know who's taller than you, Pa?? Me!!! The thought of being the one to make her flustered...pick her up and brush her hair back...dear lord.
Ok this list is really starting to look like I want to be the one doing all the manhandling. I promise you I am also down to be handled. Let's switch it up a bit.
Porsche (KinnPorsche)
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Listen. You know I LOVE VegasPete as a ship.
But if we're talking about who *I* desire - first of all, your bitch is NOT prepared for the kinkery VegasPete get up to. Second of all, I genuinely think Apo Nattawin is one of the most objectively attractive men on this planet. Add to that Porsche's layered dip of a personality (fidgety jokester, devoted big brother, practiced fighter, willing killer, dutiful guard dog...), and I am quite sold. Give me the problematic mafia sex.
Hyeong Da Un (Blueming)
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Dude. I barely even remember this show. I had to look up the character's name. But he's BAD. And he always had like...this teasing superiority toward the main character? Like he knew they would end up together and was just waiting for MC to catch up to that realization? Yeah. That...that's hot.
Ueda Minoru (Our Dining Table)
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I believe this man was crafted in a lab to be as attractive to me, specifically, as possible. He looks like a bit of a delinquent, but he's a sweet and dedicated family man. He is troubled by the notion that he'll never be good enough. He's in love and afraid to say it. He's a bleach blonde with earrings and a bump in his nose and an Adam's apple that makes me want to follow the footsteps of Eve in the garden.
Mhok (Last Twilight)
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Lord, there is not enough time in the world for me to say all I want to say about this man.
I just want it to be stated, on the record, that I have been well aware of Jimmy's attractiveness since Bad Buddy days. Unlike others, I never let Wai's horrendous personality distract me from his absurdly hot face, which, at the end of the day, is the important thing.
And now that we have Mhok? Literally the perfect character - rugged yet tender, clueless yet hypercompetent, jealous yet selfless - full of desire and restraint and humour and sadness in equal measure - I genuinely cannot think of what else I would ask for.
And did I mention his hot face?
Finally, to round out the list, a special triple whammy:
Neo, Miw, and Shin (3 Will Be Free)
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Yes, all three. At once? Separately? I don't give a shit. For all I care, it could be me in this trunk and them looking down at me in disdain. That'd keep me going for like, a year. Just let me be in the orbit of these three ridiculously hot people and their ridiculously hot dynamic. Joss, Mild, Tay: if any subset of you is ever free, at any time at all, I am also free. At that time. Forever.
Whew!
That was really fun. Tagging: Whoever wants to do it!!!! Go. Be horny. Be free.
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cozage · 8 months
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A few people have asked…
So here’s the 2.5 things that I didn’t love about the OPLA
[SPOILERS FOR OPLA BELOW]
Again, just to reiterate: I LOVED the Live Action. It was beautiful, lovely storytelling. Everyone involved put everything they had in it and you can really see that.  But there were some changes that I didn’t think were justified, and they were both in Arlong Park.  
1. The Cocoyasi Village Residents genuinely hating Nami. In the manga and anime it’s very heavily implied (and maybe outright said? I can’t remember) that the residents of Cocoyasi Village are AWARE that Nami is trying to save their town. They only act like they hate her to try and get her to stop sacrificing herself. I’m not entirely sure why the call to change that was made, but it made me really sad the way Nojiko treated her in the OPLA (especially after seeing the moment in the manga where she tells Nami that “tattoos are just decoration; they don’t actually mean anything!”). A lot of the decisions to cut scenes with young Nami and Nojiko (and just young Nami in general) really took the punch out of her backstory. 
2. Garp and Koby meeting up with Luffy in the East Blue. I actually REALLY loved the Garp/Koby/Helmeppo storyline up until the last moment. I think it added to the world building and showed us very early on how the World Government is morally questionable and how the world operates. It also helped close the gap of how Koby and Garp got to know each other and how he falls under his command. I really enjoyed following them along for the ride. Until Cocoyasi Village. There was something about that moment that felt…off? I don’t even know why. Maybe it was because Garp has NEVER approved of Luffy being a pirate. He knows Luffys resolve, but he would never say “I was testing you to make sure you wanted this path” and then basically grant his blessing. I know there had to be some kind of resolution between them, but I didn’t like the way it ended. I wish it had been more like the Water 7 moment. Garp felt far too serious the entire time (the only time i really remember him laughing was when Luffy fired the cannonball back at the marine ship).
Impel Down spoilers
2.5 This is so small but we KNOW that Buggy cannot travel without his feet (unless I’m misremembering?). He has a range and cannot move out of it. So his head hitching a ride to the Baratie is just so canon-breaking it HURT ME. I know it’s unlikely we’ll ever make it to Impel Down for that to be a problem (I genuinely think Skypiea would probably be the last arc the LA could cover, but Water 7/Enie’s Lobby could be done if the budget was big enough) but it just BOTHERED ME. WHY. WHY DID THEY DO THAT. I know there’s ways to fix it (maybe he can’t MOVE after a certain range, but can still be carried?) but STILL. 
That’s really it, honestly. I know a lot of people had gripes about Usopp and Syrup Village, but I liked the changes. I never felt like Usopp was overshadowed (plus, background character is the way he likes it honestly, keeps him away from danger). I liked that Kaya was so welcoming and a part of the bigger storyline, and I loved the way it took place in the mansion instead of on the beach. I was OBSESSED with the way they did the Baratie, Sanji’s interactions, Mihawk's reasoning for going to the Baratie, and how he left Zoro and Luffy. 
I. ATE. UP. the zolu content during the Baratie and Nami/Zoro sibling dynamic really coming out there. Oda approved the absolute BEST changes during Baratie specifically, hes so real for that. 
I’m going to watch it again with my family, maybe I’ll feel differently after I rewatch.  Again it’s imperative you guys understand I ADORED this show, and I NEED a season two IMMEDIATELY. It was fantastic and if you haven’t watched it, go do that right NOW. 
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upslapmeal · 1 year
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Notes from the Taskmaster S15E04 recording
I got to see this episode filmed back in September (if you were there hello from the person Mark Olver kept quizzing lol, and important question: do you have an airing cupboard?) and thought I'd make a post with some Bonus Content from the recording. Last time I did this I realised I'd forgotten loads so this time I got home, sat down, diligently made notes for until the end of the prize task, and decided to do the rest the next day. I did not do the rest. So we'll just have to see how well my memory holds up 😅
The version of Greg's aeroplane-themed intro was an alternative version filmed at the end - the original had the reveal that THEY'RE ALL DEAD!! and the second one was filmed "in case anyone dies in a plane"
Alex had three """""jokes"""" about his Italy trip, each one increasingly terrible. The one I made a note of was "I saw Stevie Wonder" turning into "I saw a wonder of the word". Needless to say, Greg was unimpressed.
When Greg went to Mae to introduce their prize task, their opening comment was "I’m excited to continue to explore our….dynamic"
The strength of the dynamic was then questioned when Greg was dismissive of their prize
Whatever your opinion of how Mae was scored for a later task, when Greg saw their prize on the stage at the end of the episode he said it had been underscored and it actually looked like a lot of fun
“Kiell you’ve been doing badly…it’s not your turn yet though. Frankie?"
"Jenny has always given a sob story just after presenting her prize, last episode leant heavily on her dead father" - we were told this after Jenny said she couldn't knit the hat because she had nerve damage in her hands
"I forgot to be funny then, sorry that was just sad" - Jenny
The ad buffers we saw in studio were filmed in Gatwick, and since this was before S14 aired there was a discussion about what airport it was based on the presence of an upstairs Jamie Oliver restaurant in one of them
[here ends the comprehensive notes]
I cannot stress this enough, but ANY angle or thought that you may have about Mae's throw(s) (or lack thereof) came up in the studio
I can't remember what ended up swinging (heh) it in their favour but it truly felt as though it was going to go on forever
Man I wish I could remember any specifics because there was So Much, genuinely every single possible take on that attempt was thoroughly and gleefully dissected
Hearing during this episode that Ivo had won the last two was much like when I saw that Bridget was in first place during the record for S13E04 lol
Right. Banana.
I think the logic ended up being that the task said to get the 'BANANA'
And they did, in fact, get the 'BANANA'
They got the word not the object
And there was definitely a debate about what it is to be a noun, which Mae weighed in on and I think almost made Ivo explode that they had no right to after what they did with a verb
I feel like this may have been cut bc Ivo used 'she' and I imagine the editors are going for consistency, but it's a shame bc it was amazing
But it was still 'BANANA'. As stated in the task. The word it said to get was the word they got.
Do with this what you will.
During the live task, Ivo kept pouring his sand, very very slowly, after everyone else had finished and after he was told his stream had broken, until the bottle was empty.
Tragically Jenny did not wear the turkey on her head at the end, despite everyone agreeing earlier that the winner would have to.
There we go then. And the moral of the story is to actually make notes on what happened before you forget everything. And by 'you' I mean me. I swear I'll have better notes about the S16 finale.
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shakingparadigm · 1 month
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WOW. I JUST. I JUST REALLY LOVE YOUR ANALYSIS AND THEORIES DON'T EVER STOP PLEASE. I LOVE THE STRUCTURE OF YOUR EXPLANATIONS.
In the chaos of the wait,there is someone to accompany me through a journey of madness with Alien Stage. Haha.
*insert meme of cat with wine*
I wonder what does Till think about Ivan.Now that Mizi is missing,and he seems to have completely lost himself and a reason to pursue forward,I couldn't help but ask myself: "Does he feel like he's condemned to die because of his guilt towards Ivan too? Does he feel like this or l'm just overthinking?" What if there's a retrospective we don't know about in which Till thinks Ivan didn't escape because of HIM and,now that Mizi isn't there,he's not torn about lvan anymore and what to do if he ever had to compete against him? Was he going to be conflicted in the first place? Like: "I have nothing,l lost my last hope. I may just die now rather than make my friend being killed. Is this the right thing? Why it had to be this way from the beginning,suffering because of the aliens? What am I? Why do I have to remember those things? What am I doing this for? I just wanted to survive and love Mizi"
Like we all know,thanks to the community posts,we see him have a certain dynamic with Ivan,in which they interact joking or bickering,and this strengthens a type of attachment he cannot deny. So,in the ROUND CURE we'll see Till (or Ivan) remember their past and we'll get to know more about their story with the progression of the actual one. (Ivan indeed didn't escape to stay with him,but Till doesn't know about lvan feelings,he may have been supposing all this time that he didn't made it or he just followed him back for some strange reason) I'm uncertain if they remember about seeing each other in the laboratories,through all the trauma...
l just hope that Till and Ivan don't succumb. What if lvan encourages Till to fight again unlike Luka with Mizi. What will Ivan do to try to protect Till?
Sometimes I suspect Vivinos like to play with us. Not just our feelings. WE ARE HERE JUST TO SUFFER.
THE HEARTBEATS IN THE TEASER MAKE ME FEEL SO NERVOUS HELP.
I just know that Till looks so broken and... he may have had a breakdown at this point. He has dark circles under his eyes and it's clear he has not been sleeping. I wonder if the aliens drugged him or something. For the lenght of the hair: how much time has passed?! At least a month?
One more thing I noticed,is that Till doesn't seem to have that sort of IV tube they used to sedate him like on stage in ROUND 2.
And in Hyuna's song,around the end,a security guard writes something in the sand. I don't think they'll be discovered for this but I'm really nervous.
Anyway,l really enjoy my time on your beautiful page! 🫂 Oh,please! Don't think you write stupid things,because your ideas and perspective are interesting and well put. I really like how you express yourself!
Have a nice day!! (and sorry for any mistake)
AH?!!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! tears in my eyes...
Yes!!! I shall accompany you through the madness. In fact I carry the madness in myself as well. If my yelling and flood of posts are anything to go by.
ALSO. WOW. That's genuinely so heartbreaking. Till having guilt isn't talked about often but it's very plausible that he'll be feeling it tenfold during this round. It's his fault, after all, that they're still here. Now that Mizi, the whole reason he stayed, is gone too, what was all of it for? He doomed himself and Ivan for nothing. You're right. He seems hopeless. I can definitely feel Till in those words, and it's so sad to think about how his thoughts could devolve to that point. He seemed so determined, so bright and dynamic at the beginning during ROUND 2. Now he seems so empty. Ivan and Till are definitely much closer than the both of them let on, there's no way they were just "fine". I think Till does hold fondness for Ivan, maybe even a little aware of his feelings (I don't think he knows what extent though, not sure he knows that Ivan's world literally revolves around him). What I'm sure of is that Till isn't as indifferent to Ivan as he might seem. Ivan is incredibly important to him too, and he has to come to terms with all of the guilt and feelings that were previously buried under his love and fixation for Mizi.
Oh... If Ivan spent most of ROUND 6 encouraging Till to fight I would be HEARTBROKEN. I remember one of the most common theories in the beginning was that Ivan would refuse to fight so that Till could win, and maybe Till would try and convince Ivan to fight. It's really interesting to see that the opposite might be true instead! And yes, VIVINOS LOVES to play with our feelings! It's their specialty.
Haha, Till's always had horrible eyebags! He apparently only gets less than 5 hours of sleep per day, and he's an incredibly light sleeper. Despite his eyebags though, Till always possessed such a large amount of energy. He had a lot of fight in him. You're right though, now he just seems exhausted. He's definitely been spiralling down into some very dooming thoughts. I wonder how much time has passed too...
An IV tube? I believe that's just his leash (just to make sure he's constantly restrained), but wow, thinking of it as an IV tube has some very horrifying implications. If they tried to sedate him, it definitely didn't work well HAHAH (RIP Freddie).
I thought the security guard writing in the sand was just a fun little visual gag, but if it's actually used to track down Mizi and Hyuna, oh shit. Improved security, after all. This isn't gonna be easy for them.
Thank you so much for enjoying my blog!! It means a lot to me, seriously. I might cry receiving all these nice notes and messages. Don't worry about any mistakes, by the way! You're quite a well-put writer yourself! :) Thank you for expressing yourself to me as well! I appreciate sharing all these ideas and hearing about new ones! I hope you have a great day too! ^^
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lestappenforever · 5 months
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oh my god thank you mona for being reasonable and calm about this failed padel date thing! (I always had the impression of you being reasonable and today once again you only proved my assumptions. this is why you're one of my fav lestappen blogs <3)
(also "the joy of lestappen comes in gleefully observing whatever moments we *do* get to see between them and then scurrying away with the new moment clutched in our little creature hands to add to our horde of previous moments" >>> this is such a great description and 100% how I feel too xD)
and mona, I agree with all the points you made, it's completely logical for max's body to just nope out at the morning after such a busy weekend and you are so right, if he really didn't want to come he would just say no earlier.
and I just want to add for the people being worried about max sounding flippant about the whole thing on stream: he probably felt like it's not something he needs to extensively apologize for in public? and yeah it's probably not such a big deal? (and we cannot exclude the possibility that he talked to charles and privately gave him a more heartfelt apology and they laughed about the whole thing together?)
and like it's understandable we were all disappointed the padel date failed and I was disappointed too but it's really not such a big deal? (and very quickly I found it quite funny because I remembered when I first saw that poster one of my thoughts was "8.30am? on sunday? that's so early? why the fuck it's so early?" and yeah indeed why the fuck was it so early lol)
I'm sad to see (but not really surprised) that people jump to the worst conclusions so quickly and interpret everything in the bad faith and come on, y'all really think that their relationship is so frail and weak that one silly little thing can make it crumble? and I'm sad how some people were so quick to assume max would be purposefully so mean to charles? as a fandom we are so full of declarations that max has a big heart and is a good friend and his haters are blinded by their silly rage to not see this. and then a thing like max oversleeping happens and suddenly some lestappen fans are so quick to expect the worst from him? it just makes me sad.
Thank you so much for this lovely ask, anon! It makes me so happy to know that I'm one of your favorite Lestappen blogs, and that you see me as a reasonable person. 🥹❤️
"the joy of lestappen comes in gleefully observing whatever moments we *do* get to see between them and then scurrying away with the new moment clutched in our little creature hands to add to our horde of previous moments" is absolutely an excellent description, and one I too very much relate to.
I'm glad you agree with my points, anon, because I genuinely think this whole thing is very normal and undramatic, and I'm sure most adults can relate to having plans that you're fully intending to follow through on and that you're even excited about, only for the plans to fall through last minute because you simply don't have the energy. Or because you just can't wake up on time because your body and mind needs to rest.
As for Max's flippant reaction when asked about it and admitting he overslept and missed it: I think that is such a Max Verstappen response of him to give because, as you say, I don't think it's something he sees the need to issue an extensive public apology about. His response, to me, was everything I would have expected it to be.
I don't think the failed padel date is a big deal at all, and I definitely don't believe there's any drama behind or to it. In fact, I thought it was hilarious because Charles is never going to let Max live this down. And he's probably going to tease Max about it for years and years to come, claiming he didn't show up because he was scared Charles would beat him again. With the way their friendship seems to have developed over the last few years and especially this season, I see it as far more likely that this whole thing is something they can already laugh about together, and not something that will put a damper on how close they seem to have grown lately.
I think the people who are genuinely worried about this impacting their friendship are the same people who genuinely worry about on-track battles impacting their relationship. Historically, I can definitely see their concern and has this happened in 2019, I absolutely think it would have had quite the negative impact on their relationship. But then again, they likely never would have said yes to attending the same padel tournament in 2019, so there's that. They've both grown up and matured a hell of a lot in the past few years, and they have clearly mended their friendship to the point where they're actually starting to grow closer. I genuninely don't think we have anything to worry about at all, and come next season, I honestly believer we will see a continuation of the kind of friendship and bond they've been displaying in the 2023 season.
And you are absolutely right; there is so much proof of Max actually being the biggest sweetheart and one of the nicest people on the grid, which the narrative I was seeing several places yesterday just doesn't align with at all.
Thank you so much for this ask, anon! I'm so glad you're sharing my views on this. ❤️
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crossingoceans · 7 days
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Do you…do you think that Jude sometimes forgets that he and Erling aren't together and in the same team anymore?
Like Jude sinking into Erling or talking to him on the pitch when City and RMA are playing and things aren't going his way because that was something he'd do back in the bvb days.
And then suddenly, his teammates are shouting at him to get away from the enemy. That's weird, that has never happened before and–oh. He realizes he and Erling aren't together anymore.
Or after scoring he waits with his arms open to hug Erling because that's what had always happened. And player after player hugs him and he waits and waits for Erling but Erling never comes.
I think I remember seeing Erling and Jude leaving together after matches when they played for Dortmund. Imagine, even in his new club at the beginning, Jude stands by the exit, waiting for Erling so they can go home together only to be reminded by Luka that he's in Madrid, Spain and not Dortmund, Germany. Erling isn't going to come home with him anymore…
I am sorry but I have read so many haalingham fics but none of them use the idea of habits born in a loving relationship still lingering even after the relationship is over because you just can't let go of these habits. Because this is the only last resort of still having what once was and letting go of the habit would mean letting go of the only thing you still have left of that relationship.
Like imagine in the bvb days, Jude used to carry scrunchie or hairband in his hand like a bracelet for Erling and even after he left, Jude couldn't let go of this habit. Even in RMA, he still does that and whenever someone asks him why, he just smiles sadly.
Or one of them still carrying a food they don't like but the other does while going on an away trip.
Or you know that thing where you are eating and you imagine someone that isn't in your life anymore asks you to pass a food like before and you do, only to realise they aren't there and your mind was just playing tricks on you?
Or when you try to get over someone by trying to justify in your mind that you've always hated them. But Jude can't bring himself to even think about it. Or by trying to tell yourself that they always hated you but the more he thinks about it, the more upset he gets because all the moments were genuine and they are stuck in a ‘right person, wrong place, wrong time’ typa situation. Or trying to get over by trying to get the other party to hate you but no matter what Jude does, Erling doesn't even show a hint of annoyance at him.
I am so sorry for being in my sappy haalingham era but your ‘jude always looks sorta sad’ tag sent me on a spiral.
Like the sadness of a man who knows what has been done cannot be undone!
Sadness of a man who knows they aren't kids anymore who can just have each other and be in love and think about nothing else!!
Sadness of a man who knows that the only way he can have what's left of them is by never moving on even if it hurts him until he dies!!!
Sadness of a man who knows he can't be with his soulmate because the very nature that gave him the other half of his soul now refuses to let them be together!!!!
Sadness of a who knows he can only think about the ‘what ifs’ because he'll never get to live them!!!!!
Sadness of a man who can now hope that in another life they'll get it right and time will be on their side!!!!!! is enticing to me.
I have a problem if you didn't realize ajsjdbsk.
Hii there anon!! I hope you’re well <33
I very much think that he does!! For sure…once they’re on the pitch or when they’re with each other, it is SO easy to fall into familiar movements of celebrating, looking for each other and complaining about the game etc etc. Football is such a big part of their lives…and yeahhh, that football gave them each other but is also why they’re apart and against each other hurts me to think about. It makes sense that their reunions always have an element of sadness when separation and playing against each other is inevitable
So yes—they’ll talk on the pitch, and Jude will savour each time he gets to hold Erling in his arms. It’s such a precious excuse to have Erling close when they’ve gone separate ways! And from the ucl match, we know Jude has very little self-control with it :’) He definitely gets teased and scolded by his teammates for it haha
And, I love all your headcanons—falling into established habits and still subconsciously keeping each other close in mind is so them!! I especially love this: Jude used to wear a hair tie or scrunchie for Erling and he just continues to do that even after he transferred away for good luck and to keep a piece of Erling with him in games!! I might keep it haha, if you don’t mind. It’s such a bittersweet idea!! 
The team celebrating a win, and Jude waiting, waiting to see something, eyes searching for something (blonde hair, wide smiles and the flash of a number 9) that he realises too late is not there anymore…I can see it!!! These are things that hit him out of nowhere, on the most normal of days when he’s at practice, or during a game, and completely punch the breath out of him
I love what you said about habits being the last thing you have from a past relationship! It’s a very poignant thought. There is an inherent sadness in their current situations and yeah, I can see the “what ifs” and the right person wrong time and place…and you're right, Erling would be able to see through Jude and Jude wouldn't be able to bring himself to hate Erling even if he tried to. I’d be lying if I said that the angst-loving part of me doesn’t eat all that up 
But as an optimist, I guess it’s also up to them to make new habits with each other! They're so young, their futures so bright and their personalities so down to earth—I love that about them. Even if the new normal may be incomparable to being teammates…I like the idea of them finding a place for each other in their new lives. They could settle for more than just the remnants of their past :) 
Anon, I know this isn’t exactly what you’re getting at with your ask…but you are talking to the person delulu enough to write a getting-together fic for them 😭
For me, I also love the bittersweetness of them getting to grow and become the best version of themselves away from each other when they’ve been side by side through the best and worst of times in BVB…seeing the growth and achievements from TV screens and highlight reels when Jude has once had Erling right in his arms after a goal and a good game 
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zootopiathingz · 4 months
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I watched Zootopia like 6 months ago on a whim, and now the fixation is still hyper...ing.
Yeah
Anyways, Judy and Nick are the best and deserve everything (I genuinely couldn't remember anyone else's names the first time I saw it) aaaaand yeah it's sad that the Fandom is basically nonexistent.
Actually, it's still going strong(?) on AO3 (i've made a few one-shots (shameless self promotion I'm Not_Quite_A_Moron there)) but still, kinda sucks.
Anyways, random headcanon time:
Nick has two moms (he doesn't have specific names for both of them, he just yells "MOM!" anytime he needs help)
Judy actually really likes eating meat, Nick just has to convince her to try it
Nick became really closed off and touch starved after the Junior Ranger Scouts incident, so now, he's a chronic cuddler (especially with Judy (which she loves))
Judy's on the autistic spectrum (she often stims by tapping her foot, and she likes to display affection via playful punches to the arm)
Judy was born on the same day that Nick got muzzled, as if the universe itself felt bad and said "here, have a rabbit" (definitely didn't steal this one from Tumblr nope certainly not)
Nick doesn't really like Gazelle's music, he's more of a rock kind of guy, but he'll stomach any song for Judy’s sake
Judy's asexual (Take one look at the nudist club scene and tell me she isn't at least demi)
Bestie I’d just like to say AAAAAAAAAA
Sorry, but I just got SO excited when I saw someone submitting headcanons! It’s been way too long since I’ve been able to have a good ol’ Zootopia discussion. Oh and I’ll certainly check out your fics! My user is Pixarpnflover so be on the look out for some kudos!✨
Anyway, I love the idea of Nick being raised by two moms! There was supposed to be a plotline about his dad—John Wilde, I believe was his name—but got scrapped along with a lot of other content. So until it’s actually mentioned in canon I’m choosing to believe his mom in the flashback was in fact a raging lesbian lmao🤷‍♀️ also would that make him a double mama’s boy?🤔
Ooo an herbivore converting to a meat diet? How intriguing! I like to think now that she lives in the city that Judy would be open to trying new foods, which would include poultry and fish. I can see her favoring sushi or even turkey.
Nick being openly affectionate after meeting Judy, and reserving most of that said affection for her? Hell yeah. He’s very unapologetic about it too. He’s waited far too long to share that amount of vulnerability and comfort with someone. No way he’s ever going to hold back🫂
Autistic Judy my beloved🙌🏻 You cannot convince me she’s even a little bit neurotypical, I will not believe you lol. I love that her natural rabbit behavior could actually be interpreted as stimming!
Dude, I have believed this headcanon for so long!! The second I found out their age difference, I just knew there had to be some kind of coincidence going on there. I mean, Nick could’ve just said “when I was a kid” when beginning the story, but instead he specified his age (or an estimate, at least) and I think that a choice on the writers’ part. Anyway, I’m a big believer in fate/soulmates, so even just the idea of Judy being born, destined to cross paths with Nick someday to heal his childhood trauma and make his life better, just melts my heart❤️😭
Haha yeah, you can tell the concert at the credits that Nick was only there for Judy😆 Not to say he wasn’t enjoying himself, he just wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic as everyone else. But ya know, the things ya do for your girlfriend!😋 I can also imagine Judy listening to music she doesn’t necessarily enjoy either. A certain loud rock song starts playing on the radio and before she can even think about changing the station, Nick goes “oh I like this one!” And so she smiles and suffers through it. She may even end up liking it anyway!😌
As for this last one, I kinda have to disagree. Not to say she isn’t ace or demi, and no hate to anyone who shares this opinion! But idk, to me I don’t think someone not wanting to see a bunch of people walking around ass-naked makes them ace or a prude (which I’ve seen some fanfics try to claim her to be?) I mean, I’m horny asf and I’d be just as uncomfortable walking around a nudist club😆😅
…I never thought I’d type a sentence like that lol
Anyway, thanks for sharing these! I sure hope the fandom comes back someday, but in the meantime I’ll be here waiting and open to exchanging more headcanons! :3
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kmze · 2 months
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Thoughts on 2x01 - 2x11 So much better than S1, I am so much happier having more characters involved in the storyline and Katherine is such a great villian. I also noticed the lighting is warmer and brighter this season. I think I read somewhere that was intentional because they were introducing werewolves (warm orange hue) whereas the first season was vampires (cold blue hue). Also feel like I can SEE the scenes now (modern lighting on shows is the bane of my watching experience everytime) Random thoughts under the cut!
I cannot stress enough how much Katherine makes everything better, Nina deserved more accolades for how she played two very different characters interchangeably so flawlessly. Her presence even made me care more about the love triangle and the albit messed up dynamic. I mean her and Elena look EXACTLY the same and the Salvatore's want me to believe there's no transference issues? I'm so sure.
I definitely get more from Stefan and Katherine than I do from Damon and Katherine though. Katherine brings out the meaner side of Stefan that he pretends doesn't exist and I appreciate that. She is clearly still under his skin though as much as he wants to deny it because I really loved their scenes in 2x04.
Damon and Elena have great sexual tension and chemistry but I just cannot vibe with it because he killed her brother like a month ago?? I just continue to be flabbergasted by that (I am a hater).
Obviously I have seen the Stefan and Caroline scenes from 2x02 and 2x03 dozens of times but watching them like this in a rewatch makes me love them even more. Especially their scenes in the woods and at the swimming hole, Stefan is so much lighter around her. Even his scenes with Lexi last season didn’t feel as effortless. I know this early on he's friends with her because of Elena and "hero-boyfriend" duties but he still let her distract him at the grill because I think he genuinely likes being around her. Him showing her his insecurity about Damon and Elena already shows they have a lot of trust building between them. I love them.
I was so happy and almost cried at Liz being the first person to see how much Caroline changed when she became a vampire! The physical strength gave her so much confidence and Liz saw that instantly. It was so sad watching Caroline (kudos Candice) have to compel that away. I was just thinking in S1 like damn I can't believe their relationship was this rough but this moment sold how and why they become so close in the later seasons.
It’s really not a surprise Aimee and Sarah died, they were always too eager to get wasted in a town with mysterious deaths weekly. The odds were never in their favor. Katherine killing Aimee on the dance floor in front of everyone had me cracking up though! The best crazy bitch ever. The masquerade episode was probably my favorite so far in my rewatch, this is when the contrived events work with everyone playing a part in the game!
Caroline turning into a vampire really helped start to remove her from being stuck under Elena. Especially now as she's getting involved in Tyler's storyline who truly has nothing to do with Elena narrative-wise. She's even got her own love triangle brewing already.
I like how easily Stefan accepted he was going to be stuck in the tomb with Katherine for a few days, as if it was a weekend retreat. In all honesty he probably wanted to avoid Elena and the self sacrifice mission so he wouldn’t have to go along with it since he’s in “boring-choice-matters-self” mode. Because I thought it was odd he wouldn’t let Elena even see him and then told Damon to keep her away from there, so that's my theory.
Trapping Elena in the house was the best move for everyone involved. I’m sorry but the whole suicide mission was getting on my nerves. Girl shut up and sit down.
Someone should really have told Jenna already about vampires because then she'd stop inviting them into the house! Sadly I do not care about Alaric and Jenna either, I remember when I first watched I did but now, meh.
Bonnie and Jeremy are cute I don't care what anyone says! I know they have their issues in the later seasons but they could have come back to them, I can't have nice things.
Bonnie and Damon really do have great chemistry as enemies to reluctant allies, I will never forgive TPTB for denying me this.
Elijah is zzzzzz so far.
Lines that made me laugh:
Damon: Elena’s on a martyr tear that rivals your greatest hits (I yelled! he wasn't lying oh my god!)
Caroline: They were more... gold with amber highlights (she's so unintentionally funny)
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metacrisisdoctor · 1 year
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everytime i read a quote about the doctor and river it makes me rub my temples in frustration while also making me so so so deeply grateful that the doctor and rose's story ended how it did.
putting this under the cut, so if you do ship the doctor and river you don't have to read this.
the thing is: the doctor and river's relationship was a cool idea that moffat completely half assed, but at the same time he made it so that river is meant to be seen as more important than all of his other relationships up until his final life (without showing us the journey there) and i find that so insulting to the nature of the show. they are both locked into this "marriage" with such little choice in the matter, if any. it makes me sad for BOTH of them.
so according to moffat in the "end" river is uploaded to the library and the doctor is allegedly there too, his mind uploaded to the moon or whatever. but wtf kind of ending is that for the doctor? that's so odd to me. i don't ever WANT to know how things end for the doctor because the story should never have definite end, but moffat wanted to have the very last word in 2008 ig.
it confuses me further that he decided to write a pretty overt romantic storyline with eleven and clara in s7 which then continues onto twelve and clara. not because the doctor can't be in love multiple times or because i think it would bother river but because it makes it the relationship that is actually developed for THREE seasons.
i understand rtd being accepting of river during s4, since he was going to step down as showrunner seemingly forever. and i genuinely think that this is why rose and her doctor were sealed off the way they were even if he's never actually said it.
it's such a large part of why, to me, tentoorose is such a gift. it's so beautiful. because the "original" doctor has this future that is set in stone that tentoo never has to be part of. he is not only free from being essentially immortal, but he is free from being manipulated into a marriage with river and from being potentially uploaded into the library. and rose has the gift of having the last version of the doctor who does not know river aside from one episode. this doctor loves rose and rose alone. he will never be married to river, he will never have whatever romance went on with clara and yaz either. and i do believe that the doctor is allowed to fall in love multiple times in their many lives, which is where both doctor/river and "rose and all the doctors" does not work for me at all but then again, it doesn't matter because rose got her happy ending with the freest and happiest version of the doctor there ever will be and i'm so grateful for that when i remember how bonkers the plot became after season four.
some people say they dislike je because tentoo isn't rose's doctor when it's the complete OPPOSITE by now, and i cannot imagine rtd ever having a reason to undo that so when people suggest he would break them up for rose to be back with the "real" doctor i'm just like, you understood NOTHING. he wanted them to be safe and happy and HUMAN tucked into their own world that no one else but him would or could ever touch. because of journey's end the doctor and rose truly end up together in the most even, healthy and honest way possible. i just still feel so lucky 😭💗
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cosmicjoke · 1 year
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Okay, I started “Merrick”, and Louis is breakin’ my heart into a thousand and one pieces.  These guys’ have got to stop doing this to me, lol.
The part where he show’s David the daguerreotype of Claudia and tells him the story about it had me in shambles man.  His pain, how much he misses her, how much he just wants to make sure she’s not in torment, and the way you can just tell, from the things he says to David here, that once he can know that, once he knows she’s alright and has moved on, that he’s planning on killing himself, ugh, I can’t hardly take it.
Louis really is like the perfect opposite of Lestat, and I think, ultimately, that’s why the two of them are really made for each other, why they so deeply love each other.  Louis is so withdrawn and quiet and introspective.  All of his pain is sort of aimed inward, dealt with silently and unobtrusively, while of course Lestat is very much an extrovert, very open and blunt with his emotions, very loudly expressive.  I think they each feel their pain as keenly as the other, but their ways of coping with it is totally opposite.  And there’s just something about the quiet manner in which Louis suffers that cuts you to the quick.  Almost like he doesn’t think enough of himself to feel like he has any right to express his pain aloud. 
This part too, when David says Lestat never told him the story about Claudia being upset at them not being able to have their photographs taken, because the sunlight was necessary for it,
“Lestat forgets many things,” he said thoughtfully and without judgment.  “He had other portraits of her painted after that.  There was a large one here, very beautiful.  We took it with us to Europe.  We took trunks of our belongings, but that time I don’t want to remember.  I don’t want to remember how she tried to hurt Lestat.”
Like just kill me now.  Ugh.  Louis so clearly has so much love for BOTH Claudia and Lestat.  You can just hear the pain in his voice, thinking about how one of the people dearest to him tried to hurt the other.  You can hear how much the reality of that torments Louis.  He probably felt like he failed both of them, in allowing things to get to that point. 
And then this part, talking about the picture of Claudia
“Wasn’t she beautiful?” he asked.  “Tell me.  It’s past a matter of opinion, isn’t it?  She was beautiful.  One cannot deny that simple fact.”
Like he’s sharing this deeply intimate and guarded part of himself with David, asking for confirmation from him on Claudia’s beauty.  Just something about this struck me as so sad.  Like he wants someone else to also remember Claudia and how beautiful she was.
And then finally this last part of this chapter, when he talks about visiting Lestat in the orphanage, wanting to check in on him, even though both he and David know Lestat doesn’t really need protecting.  Really, Louis’ love for Lestat is always just so moving, and comes through as so genuine.  You can see how Louis’ even tempered calm and quiet is kind of like the perfect treatment for Lestat’s more manic and broad emotional turmoil and intensity.  I don’t get when people just write these two off as “toxic” for each other.  I don’t think their love is toxic at all.  Their situation might have been, at one point, but their love is genuine and pure.  And that’s why it worked out, in the end.
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