#it hurts me too y’know
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Grian thinks that maybe this is their way of reparation. An attempt to say sorry.
That they can see the suffering it's victors have gone through and decided giving them a twisted version of what they once had was repayment enough.
The moment Grian locked eyes with Scott at spawn, he knew that whatever they had in store for them next would hurt; and he knew scott could see it too.
Because Grian can’t remember anything of last life but it’s victor, and Scott couldn’t remember third life except that Grian had won. The curse the two are forced to wear like a crown, studded with jewels containing their friends memories of a life they can’t remember living.
But unfortunately a crowd is waiting for them to put on their best.
So with heads held high and faces as straight as stone, the curtains rise and the show begins.
Grian can only hope that whoever wins this time, it won’t be him.
#grian#scott smajor#goodtimeswithscar#trafficblr#double life spoilers#double life#third life fanfiction#third life smp#third life#last life smp#hermitblr#hermitcraft#I’m sobbing my eyes out still#why do I write#it hurts me too y’know#desert duo
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Fun little silly thought I had about the Lair Games and specifically Leo deliberately losing is all the reasons he could have for doing so.
My favorite headcanon for his main motivation is that Splinter wasn’t proud of him anymore.
I imagine that, in the beginning, winning the Lair Games was Leo’s opportunity to shine. He wasn’t artistic or the baby of the family like Mikey, wasn’t a tech genius who created amazing inventions like Donnie, wasn’t the eldest who was insanely strong and dependable like Raph. So he had to shine somewhere else- anywhere else- and what better way to get attention than to be a winner? A champion?
And then he won too much. And it wasn’t special anymore. He got too big headed, too cocky, he knew this was his element and he ran with it.
Splinter’s words of congratulations slowly petered out. Suddenly, there was no real reason to win.
Winning feels empty when the only one cheering you on is yourself.
So- Leo schemed. And he’s a great schemer, fooling his whole family (and Donnie did deserve a win- people were way happier when he won.)
He even gave up his prized possession! His room!
Though he knows his brothers probably think it’s a bad prize. A terrible one, even.
Leo doesn’t sleep much as is, though. So Dad’s snores were more comforting than anything. It was reassuring to hear him so clearly alive and close by.
Even if the distance between them was larger than Leo’d like.
He’d just have to find something else, something more to show his dad that Leo was someone to trust, to be proud of, to love.
He gets his chance soon after, when he needs to pull off a plan against Big Mama at his dad’s side. Leo can only hope this victory is one that has a lasting effect when his father looks at him with pride once more.
Victory, for Leo, is a pretty loaded term.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#everything Leos do almost always ties back to Splinter send tweet#anyway imo if I was Leo winning every lair game I would be bored as hell#and add on to my own dad joining in with my brothers on being disappointed when I do well?#yeeaaah id be my own biggest fan too#tbh Leo’s big brain plays both in Lair Games and Many Unhappy Returns are his real victories#I will say I was proud of Donnie for doing so well!#he deserves a win definitely#but looking at this from Leo’s perspective and realizing this is JUST before the ‘why don’t any of you trust me’ line hurts#wanna make this hurt more?#how about Leo purposefully wanting to lose…but he was a bit miffed that DONNIE out of anyone won#why?#because Leo makes jokes all the time but Splinter says DONNIE is the funny one#because althroughout Many Unhappy Returns Splinter says how he’d prefer if DONNIE were there instead of Leo#makes me wonder y’know? if there’s any scratchy feelings there#nothing that Leo has against Donnie so much as the assumption that Splinter would prefer him over Leo#which if I was Leo…I’d definitely think so even if Splinter absolutely loves his sons equally#just as Donnie probably assumes the opposite as well#splinter bro plz talk to your sons#but yeah victory for Leo imo is equivalent to acknowledgement#just *seeing* him#so he very easily gets wrapped up in the obsession for being the champion#*lou jitsu* always wins and Splinter wants them more like Lou Jitsu so LEO has to always win or…#or…
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Hey pspspsps gay people c’mere I did another redraw (from this image)
#imogen x otohan#imogen temult x otohan thull#imotohan#wait that’s their ship name right#imogen temult#otohan thull#laudna#so scared to put this in the laudna tag lol wish me luck#critical role#my art#id in alt text#in what situation would imogen ever be okay with laudna being stabbed? no clue it doesn’t seem possible. just ignore that perhaps#or actually y’know what I can just say it’s a metaphor for imotohan’s relationship. too vague to prove me wrong now hehe#tw blood#does this count as gory enough to be tagged that? no clue but just in case#tw gore#can’t hurt
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Actually I don’t think I’ll ever forgive how Wash’s disability and subsequent ‘cure’ was handled.
#beans speaks#personal#rvb#red versus blue#the Carolina and wash plotline was a lil ehhh bc I don’t think they gave Carolina’s attitude abt his new limits a healthy foil#like it would have been see easy to have Dr Grey or Wash himself parallel her fear and frustration#and it could have gotten into such character depth too!#shine a light on her past trauma with losing people/them getting hurt to show that a lot of her perspective is ultimately selfish#which isn’t ‘wrong’ it’s normal considering what she’s been through but she needs to respect wash’s autonomy!#I haven’t seen 0 but. I heard. they gave him a. a fucking AI and it was all yippee he’s fine#as though that doesn’t go against like a major personal boundary of Wash (not a big fan of ai in his head) while also ignoring the whole.#yeah we just have to deal with this. it’s not fun and it’s gonna suck sometimes but it doesn’t change our love or respect.#sorry if I sound insane I also haven’t watched that season in a while and I’m. a lil. wooo tonight y’know#like as a disabled person w a progressive condition that is stopping me from doing things I used to be able to do#and will continue to limit my abilities as the years go by#it makes me wanna tear someone limb from fucking limb
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I’m going to fucking bite this white boy so help me I will actually do it this time
#I just got back and I’m being held HOSTAGE#Not actually. rival is pissed off at me fror not treating my burn wounds before getting on the plane#they’re not even that bad a darumaka can’t hurt me too much#he also got upset when he found out I prioritized getting sand oit of my shit before my own burns. fucking whatever#look man cinccino will resort to violence if they’re not clean (me too) and sand isn’t good for Bisharp at all#so at some point you might as well just get it through with in one go y’know#(I wouldn’t have even brought out Cash or Gil at the resort if it weren’t for this stupid motherfucker who taught their stoutland howl#pkmn irl#pokemon irl#rotumblr#pokemon rp#pokeblogging#pokeblog rp#rotomblr#rival tag
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…yall afraid of pancakes?
#ra speaks#personal#….god grant me patience and mercy but not strength because I want to dunk on them so hard#bro. bro I get that you’re Catholic and whatever but like. really. you’re not going to get pancakes for dinner bc its pride pancake night???#I am clearly not dyking it up enough that folk will just say the quiet part loud in front of me#at least the guy who suggested they eat elsewhere wasn’t any of the guys I’m out to and cool with.#(its y’know one of the assholes that so badly wants to pick a fight with me but is too pussy to speak to me outside of meetings)#I’m always fascinated by the lines other Catholics draw. idk maybe my family is too Irish and it’s like#there’s people who won’t swear or watch anything that acknowledges queer people or apparently eat pride pancakes#like ???? where I’m from is you’re happy healthy and not hurting yourself or others who gives a fuck. more pancakes for my gay ass I guess.#I’m not even mad really it’s just. I am feeling incredible: you would not survive the real world. abt these guys.#except they would bc their parents are loaded rich white folk :/
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I’ve been looking back at filming bts trying to put things together and I noticed a few things (fyi this is gonna contain spoilers ig but only from what the cast & crew has revealed)
First:
More angst coming! We all knew that’d happen eventually though. In the first photo (posted by the never let me go twitter account) we have the main four boys together! Excited for a scene with them all in it at the same time! But the next photo tells me I probably won’t be excited for what happens. The second photo (which came from phuwin’s ig story on the same day the first was posted) has two important things: Nuengdiao crying and Palm offscreen. The setting is clearly the same (same walls, same clothes) and Pond has what looks like the script with him as well as being dressed for the part so we know he’ll be there too. My guess is something bad is happening to Palm and that’s why Nuengdiao is crying. And if that’s not the case, something bad happened to his mom (Nuengdiao has only a few people he loves most in his life to cry over lol). The third photo is just a benchopper bonus from the same scene <3
Then, there’s the next set of photos (which are from Phuwin’s ig stories, I’ve just taken a screenshot of the part I’m referring to since tumblr doesn’t like adding more than one video, and a photo taken of Pond).
If you’ve been following the bts you know it’s no secret Palm’s gonna end up in the hospital. Phuwin so gracefully revealed to us that Ben will be in this scene due to their wearing same wardrobe. On the day they filmed Nuengdiao crying, they also filmed Palm in his hospital gown. So: either it’s the same filming day and separate scenes in the series or related scenes (I doubt it’ll be the same bc of the change in clothes from the previous photos though) filmed on the same day/s (and series aren’t usually filmed consecutively anyway so). Nuengdiao in more formal wear also makes me think he might’ve gone home at some point and returned to a more powerful position.
Either way, I think this is all post-beach. None of the outfits have appeared in the trailer or previews yet. It seems like some sort of late second/third act tragedy that we’ll get to in the (nearing) future. I don’t really know what to make of these scenes other than that they fit together and it’s gonna be eventful. If anyone notices anything else and wants to add, feel free! I’m in a theorizing mood so I just put this together so it’d all be in one post lol
#never let me go#been thinking abt these for a while#like what is the full context!!! why are chopper and ben there too??#also: where are their parents!!!#I feel like seeing them all together gives me a sort of running away vibe but they already did that and they’re in a hospital#and WHO is gonna hurt Palm….. :(#bonus: nuengdiao’s bracelet in the fifth pic.. hmmmm#y’know what u write somethign long and ur like does this even make sense anymore. yeah… anyway#this is so long I’m sorry LMAO#b.txt
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probably one of my pettier gripes with desu2 incoming: i don’t like some of the sound design changes at least in combat
don’t get me wrong considering how much of an improvement 2’s battle and fusing systems are in comparison to 1’s (do kinda miss the magnetite bonus system instead of relying solely on add ons to overwrite moves tho and some of the skill nerfs are sad). it’s a lot more fun, the demon variety is much better, i like the evolving racial skills, and combat doesn’t feel nearly as dull + difficulty is much better balanced, too! definitely the better game in terms of how it plays.
but some of the effects during combat sound off??? i get its due to compression but the basic attack sound in 1 is a lot less stock. in 2, it sounds like the generic punching sound used in a lot of cartoons and games. the change to the extra turn/taken turn chime too stands out much less, which is weird considering the core mechanic in battle that sets devil survivor apart is the turn bonuses. not nearly as snappy and it kinda annoys me???? also whoever made it so nullifying a move has the same sound effect as if you were to deflect the move i hate that whyyyy
on another similar note: i do like desu2’s ost a lot more since it’s more varied and has less repetitive loops, but i don’t think it stands out nearly as much. while it needed some work, 1’s more heavy metal focused ost makes it a lot more unique. it fits a lot better and stands out against other soundtracks in megaten’s history. 2’s is a lot more electronic which is fitting for the septentrion themes and a couple other moments, but it would work much better if the rest of the ost kept 1’s metal focus. really makes them seem truly otherworldly. again great ost but most of it sounds like it comes from shit like persona as opposed to the game where the world around you goes to hell and you end up building a demon army in a race to prevent humanity’s destruction while also potentially rewriting the world’s way of functioning.
(i really don’t want this to seem like i don’t like desu2 because it’s really fun and i’m enjoying my time with it but i also have more gripes with it, mainly with the writing.)
#sound design is so important at least to me#and i think acknowledging what makes sound effects work is not just through use but the actual y’know sound#is critical with shit like battle systems since it’s what gives both weight and feedback#having sound effects be too similar or not stand out volume-wise hurts the feedback the player is given#which is partly why the audio design in 2 doesn’t work as well#shantien rambles#devil survivor
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why won’t you ever see 5sos
just not really a fan of their music :/
#No lmfao it’s that I just can’t physically handle concerts#I’m very weak willed 💙#flashing lights hurt the ol brainy brain#loud noises make me freak#I just dissociate really really bad during concerts and like not in a good way#the stimulation is just actively too much for my very very small brain#and I always leave super sick and miserable#and it knocks me on my ass for like at least a day or two after#like I’m not trying to be a baby it’s just genuinely too much for me#and then there’s also the matter of cost#like I just don’t have the money to drop on concert tickets y’know#so even if I did want to see 5sos and geared myself up with some noise cancelling headphones and very dark sunglasses or whatever#just don’t really have the means#like will I cry abt never going to a show this tour probably 😌#but I know it would probably make me more miserable to see my favorite band in the world and not enjoy it bc I’m too preoccupied with#the pulsating horror of overstimulation 💅#pigeon#anon
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Only I would manage to drop a whole ass box of aloe juice on my foot and not feel the pain of it until the end of my shift.
#shut it void#I don’t think I broke anything but that honestly means nothing#because I did walk on a broken foot for like a week and just bitched my foot hurt#I’m keeping an eye on it for obvious reasons but like only me y’know?#fyi too the aloe juice with a full box is a case of two
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#I miss my war criminal#Peter quill#annihilation conquest#Star-lord#peter quill#rocket raccon#Groot#bug#Captain universe#My head hurts too much to remember actual names for them#Like Quill was sarcastic in the comics but it was a different kind of sarcastic y’know#Like when mixed with his mild callousness it just hit yeah#More of something you’d expect out of someone like John DiMaggio you get me
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I think every website ever should stop showing me gifs. Just make it a video. Give it a pause button. aough
#gif hate#I’m sorry gif lovers. enjoy it without me#in all seriousness it kills me a little how inescapable gifs are.#welcome to this game! instead of letting your silly little brain continue on you must look at all three buttons that are constantly moving.#and I-???? I get why they’re fun y’know??? I’m not mad they exist. I’m not mad that others use them as pfp and stuff#I’m mad I can’t turn it off. it gives me. not a headache but. I dunno it’s something in between an emotional headache. hypnotism.#and when I look at things too close with my glasses on#it hurts but in a. uhm. in such a way that it always feels a bit silly to complain about#BUT COMPLAIN I WILL!!! bc this is MY tumblr blog and I get to choose the rants#that’s a lie I don’t have much of a say in what I want to talk about I just start talking and eventually stop
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i’ve decided it’s “characters who’d do literally anything to protect their little sibling” loving hour
i see a single fanart of lana and ema and my brain turns to mush
#millie.txt#ace attorney#spoilers for the first game extra case#but lana acting all stoic the whole time she’s been accused of murder#and as phoenix you’re like ‘‘i’m trying to help you here. please stop admitting to a murder you didn’t do’’#and it’s frustrating that she’s being so difficult#shout out to that one line where phoenix asks what happened to her hand#and she says something like ‘‘i accidentally cut it. y’know. when i stabbed that guy’’#but when the truth gets unraveled and she starts so desperately trying to get you to stop#but it’s too late because you figured out what happened with ema during that incident#and you realise the whole time she was putting up this act all for ema’s sake#she’d literally rather get falsely convicted of murder than let her little sister get in trouble for an accidental crime#and it hurts because the whole time ema didn’t understand that and she was so upset about the way lana had been acting#when they’re finally free of this whole ordeal at the end and there’s the cg of them hugging. damn that gets me every time#ema is my favourite ace attorney character mostly because of her adult appearances in later games#to the point i kinda forget she was introduced as this bright eyed teen at first#god i wish they’d bring lana back
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Envy is absolutely the most cringfail sin. it's about spending your energy NOT minding your own business and being obsessed with what other people have. and it's the only one that grants you no pleasure. it's just misery. completely pathetic
loving the fact that you have an opinion on this and needed to say it. mutuals please sit down it’s time for the philosophy and ethics socratic seminar on tumblr dot com
#listen they’re all pathetic as long as you understand what they actually truly mean#and not the oversimplified broadened media ideas of them#like you see i don’t think jealousy is necessarily bad if it’s 1. something objectively good to have and 2. something with no scarcity#i.e. like if you wished you could be as kind and patient as someone you know so you seek to emulate them#you’re jealous of them in a way that hurts neither you nor them but leads you to greater personal virtue and appreciation of them#of course if it’s not a situation like this then yeah you’re right it is pretty pathetic#but i consider envy to be something different#jealousy is wanting someone else’s happiness#envy is resenting someone else’s happiness#envy says if i can’t be happy you shouldn’t be happy either#envy is that toxic person who refuses to make any effort to improve themselves#who just whines all day in the hopes of annoying you so they can take a minor comfort in your misery#this is also related to sloth though too#sloth is not refusing to participate in grind culture or whatever it’s never taking a stand and doing the thing when it’s needed#sloth is the person who’s too afraid of facing difficulties so they always have to be neutral. aka they’re useless.#alternatively envy is the guy who’s in love with this lady who’s already taken#and he retaliates by killing her boyfriend/husband (possibly as well as her too)#so yeah envy is definitely pathetic at best and downright monstrous at worst#but like don’t get me started on pride. that is peak immaturity#y’know the people who are like ‘I WILL ATTACK AND DETHRONE GOD’ yeah i’ve never met a happy and peaceful person who says that lol#it’s just weird…#pride is just about making it all about yourself#the thing is that being full of yourself is a problem of course#but then there’s also the toxicity of hating yourself#constant self deprecation is just as damaging as a huge ego#like the way to counter pride is not to be like AAAAAH I HATE MYSELF I’M GARBAGE girl stop. pick yourself up#ppl like that are still making a scene and making it all about themselves. it’s not healthy and they should seek genuine help#like just. chill. literally. go talk to someone. go do something. being trapped in your own mind can go one of two bad ways#asks#thanks anon
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my mom loves to tell me i treat her like she doesn’t know any better while she simultaneously treats me like i don’t know any better lol
#it’d be fine if i was moving but i may have two years of this to get thru so i’m pissy#she��s mad that i won’t adjust where i’m sitting#i’m uncomfortable and tried to explain i’m uncomfortable bc i broke my tailbone on 2007 and it still bothers me#like i’ve dealt with this for over a decade y’know so i have literally tried everything#it just always hurts to sit - and that’s just how it is#there is no cushion or couch or chair or bed that won’t hurt me if i sit on it#but the idea that i know my body that well seems to irritate the fuck out of my family#oh well whatever nevermind#could be worse#could be better too#so i guess it is what it is#okay bye#personal
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Some of My Favorite Ways to Describe a Character Who’s Sick
pressing their forehead into something cool or comfortable (this could be an array of things. the table, the floor, someones leather jacket, their water bottle, the countertop)
warm to the touch, or heat radiating from them (could be noticed if someone’s gauging their temperature with their hands, hugging them, or just generally touching them)
leaning into people’s touch, or just spontaneously leaning on them (like pressing into their hand when someone’s checking their temp, or just, like, literally walking up and laying their head on them from fatigue. bonus points if the character is usually feral and the other is scared to engage™︎)
falling asleep all over the place (at the dinner table, on their homework, in the car, in the bathroom — just being so exhausted from doing literally nothing)
being overly emotional (crying over things that don’t usually bother them, like their siblings arguing, or their homework, or literally just nothing)
stumbling/careening/staggering into things (the wall, furniture, other people. there is no coordination in feverish brains. running into chairs, hitting the door, falling over the couch, anything and everything)
slurring their words (could be from fatigue or pain. connecting words that shouldn’t be connected, murdering all of their conversations with the excessive use of ‘mm’ and ‘nn’ in place of words) (this is my favorite thing ever)
being overly touchy (basically like a sick kid — just hold them, please. do that thing where you brush their hair back out of their face, or rub circles on their back, or snuggle them. they won’t care. bonus points if this is also the feral character and they refuse to believe it afterwards)
being extremely resistant to touch (flinching away when they usually don’t so someone can’t feel the fever, not letting themselves be touched because they’re so tired they just know they’ll be putty in their hands if they do)
growing aggressive or being extremely rude (it’s a defense mechanism — they feel vulnerable and are afraid of being manipulated or deceived while they’re ill)
whimpering/whining/groaning (this was in my “characters in pain” post but it’s so good that i’m putting it here too. this shite is gold, especially if it’s just an involuntary reaction to their symptoms)
having nightmares caused by a fever and/or delirium (crying and murmuring in their sleep, or being awake but completely out of it and convinced they’re somewhere else)
making themselves as small as possible (curling up into a ball everywhere they lay, hunching over slightly when standing, wrapping their arms around themselves)
TW for vomiting below cut !!
sleeping in the bathroom floor because they keep getting sick over and over (bonus if someone finds them all weak and pitiful. bonus bonus if they find them there in the morning only to learn they’ve been there all night)
using their hands/other body parts to clamp over their mouth so nothing can come out (like pulling their knees up to their chest and using that, or like, their arm, y’know) (~maccreadysbaby who has emetophobia suddenly gets very awkward about this post~) (~yes i have a phobia of puke and still write this happening to my characters, shut up~) (~it’s about the hurt/comfort okay~)
sympathy pukers (people who aren’t the sick ones but get nauseous/vomit when they see someone else throw up) (~aka me~) (~okay I’m done now~)
dry heaving (it’s gross, but good for making your characters absolutely freaking miserable)
rolling/churning/spinning/cramping/ lurching and all those awesome words that describe what stomachs do when sick (i hate these words with a deep, fiery passion. but they’re good for writing or whatever)
#writing angst#creative writing#writing#writers#writerscommunity#writers on tumblr#writeblr#writing tips#writing help#word bank
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