#it has dawned on me that listening to sad bitch music is in fact making me… sadder (shocker) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

volleychumps · 4 years

Note

HEY HEY HEY!!! hagsfdjkhg okay so i was studying and that reminded me of sth. Like how would study dates go with the Haikyuu boys? (more specifically Kuroo, Akaashi, Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Bokuto, Semi, Goshiki)(Alsooo i dont know if youve got a limit for characters so feel free to omit some of them if you wish ^^)

Study Dates w/ Kuroo, Akaashi, Iwa, Oikawa, Bokuto, and Semi

Kuroo

-Surprisingly enough, Kuroo is actually really good at studying

-like actually though, when you were shocked he was actually offended

- “...did you actually think I was dumb?”

- “I plead the fifth.”

-Likes to lay his head on your lap while you type your assignment w/ your laptop on the armrest of the sofa as he reads his assignment w/ the spine folded in half

-fuck his reading glasses made him really hot

- Would help you proofread your papers and would pop your back for you if the study session was long

-Distracts you, though

- “What?” You peer down at him curiously when his eyes are off his assignment and just staring up at you

- “Babe...can you like, pet my hair?”

- “What are you, a cat? I can’t type with one hand.”

- “Then don’t type.” hoe closes your laptop for you while smirking, waiting for you to give him attention as you hit him with a deadpan stare

- “I should’ve known you were being quiet for too long.”

- Closes his eyes and sighs in relief when you run a hand through his hair, making you shake your head as you open your laptop back up

- Maybe you could type with one hand

Akaashi

- Smart hoe is probably gonna be tutoring you with what you need help on

- Claims he’s not that smart, but passes classes without really trying

- Probably super patient with you, and gives you soft little praises when you get a problem right

-When you’re visibly stressed, he’d leave and come back with your favorite hot beverage while rubbing your shoulders until the tension leaves

- When he’s doing his own assignments, you catch him tracing the pads of his fingers around the crevices in your hand absent-mindedly

- You’re probably the one who gets more distracted than you’re genius boyfriend

- “Akaashi, can we just cuddle?”

- “..Don’t you need to work more on this?”

- “But...” When your lips form into a pout, he sighs before giving in, watching with a blank stare as you dive into his bed and under the covers, ready to nap

- Rolls his eyes, but grabs a textbook on the subject you need help on before getting into bed with you and pulling you into his side, opening the book so you can study together

- he can’t help the small smile on his face when you whine, shushing you

- “Compromise, love, okay?”

Iwaizumi

- Would probably take you to study at a cafe w/ soft music in the background w/ comfy seats by the window

- Gets focused and into his work quickly, and releases a soft sigh after a few minutes, hands stilling over his keyboard

- “Why are you staring at me?”

- “You’re really cute.”

- “Do your work, (y/n)”

- You pout at the fact he hadn’t used your nickname before shoving in your earbuds and ignoring the look of confusion that passed his face when you actually listened without putting up a fight

- Goes back to his own assignment after shrugging it off, reaching out to take your hand across the table

- You pull your hand away innocently before he can do so, pretending to change the song on your playlist as you ignore the look of seriously? written across his face

- “Is there something wrong?”

- “Nope, nothing at all, Iwa.”

- You actually become involved w/ your work and don’t notice the realization dawn on to him before he scoffs and leaves the table, leaving you to sit alone

- wow what a bitch-

- Until he comes back with two mugs of your favorite drink, reaching one out to you as you take it suspiciously

- “Take a break, babe.”

- When you visibly perk up he rolls his eyes as he blows the steam from his mug, a small smirk on the corner of his lips

- “You’re too much.”

- “I love you too.”

Oikawa

- For God sakes, this boy gets so distracted but his glasses make him hotter tho

- “Oikawa, physics isn’t like serving a volleyball-”

- “Hear me out, okay? So, the volleyball has an intial velocity- are you with me?- and from there-”

- “Baby, we’re studying English right now.”

-Would probably share the space on one of your beds to do the assignment, you on the foot of the bed criss cross and him with his back pressed against the headboard with his legs stretched out

- When you’re doing your own assignments with a focused look on your face, this hoe would poke your cheek, marveling at how you didn’t even react before continuing to do it

- You glance at his handsome self sideways “Hm. Are you bored? I couldn’t tell.”

- “Ne, give me a kiss.”

- “Oikawa no.”

- “Please?”

- “I said-”

- “What, do you hate my kisses or something?”

- “Can I please just work-”

- Cuts you off mid-sentence with a peck on your lips as he retracts, a smirk on his features

- “Okay. All energized now. Time to study!”

-ugh this boy

- Gets invested in his own work after awhile, and when you finish before him you pull his glasses off his face before crawling into his lap with the frames now resting on your nose,

- the now closed laptop falls to his side as he eyes you with a smirk “Oho, what’s this?”

- “Shut up. Done yet?”

- “I am now, cutie. Let’s nap.”

Bokuto

- ooooh boy good luck

- “Bokuto, it’s not the end of the world if you can’t do this problem. Stop pouting please, I don’t like seeing you sad.”

- “If I can’t do this...what if I can never make you happy?”

- “Babe whAt”

- Gets easily depressed when he gets to a problem he can’t do, but boasts about himself when he’s able to do it with ease

- “See that, baby? Yeah, I’m smart. You’re dating someone smart, how does it feel?”

- “Bokuto, there are eight more.”

-Nuzzles into your shoulder when he gets distracted, and physically pushes the papers you’re working on away when he wants attention

- Random acts of affection here and there when you’re focused, including him gaping at how easily you seemed to be able to do your work compared to him, making him pepper your face with kisses out of nowhere

- “How are you cute and smart?! That’s not fair, give me some!”

- Would study at a place with an outdoor patio, and you’d have to tap his forehead to stop his eyes from wandering every where else except his assignment

- “Babe, we can go on a date after this if you get your assignment done on time.”

- You’ve never seen your boy more quiet and focused in your entire life

Semi

- “Why don’t you understand this? It’s easy stuff! God, this is troublesome...”

- “We can’t all be good at Trig, Semi. You don’t have to help me if you don’t want to.”

- Semi blinks once, realizing his tone took on an edge that was borderline offensive as you remain unfazed, now looking up an online tutor to help you

- “I...”

- When you look up from your computer questioningly, Semi looks away quickly, looking embarrassed

- “I didn’t mean to...”

- “I know.”

- would sit and do his work on the bed while you sat at his desk in silence, with him occasionally looking up at you once in a while, wondering why you were so quiet

- Semi, I’m just focused like damn-

- when he can’t stand the silence anymore, you blink in question when he’s suddenly behind your chair as he slips the hair tie off your wrist, now pooling your hair from around your neck

- “What are you doing?”

- “You usually study with your hair up...”

- You smile a little, knowing this was his apology for snapping at you earlier with his temper

- Strangely, his bun was super tight and efficient, and you lean your head back to look up at him from an upside down angle as he remains in his spot behind your chair

- “I love you.”

- Blushy tsundere boy turns beet red as you giggle, watching him stomp back to his spot on the bed in embarrassment

- “What was that?” You turn slightly when he mumbles under his breath.

- “I said I love you too! Is that a problem or something?”

- “Ugh, come here.Let’s take a break. I’ll cuddle you.”

- “Wha-? I’ll cuddle you dammit, not the other way around.”

- “Yes, yes, whatever you say.”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu anime #haikyuu kuroo #haikyuu kuroo x reader #haikyuu iwaizumi #haikyuu akaashi #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu x reader #oikawa toru #haikyuu scenarios #iwaizumi hajime #semi eita #haikyuu semi eita #haikyuu semi #haikyuu requests

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wholesomemendes · 4 years

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I have another idea for a request. Shawn's on tour and you and him argue on the phone about the VMA performance with Camila and then you fall and hurt your head. Your mom calls his phone and he rushes home and pleads for you to forgive him because of the argument.

Author’s Note: I feel like it’s important to say in here that I do mention Shawn’s relationship with Camila in this fic and the way it is described is solely based on what I felt was necessary for this request. This no way a form of me expressing my opinion about them and I do not wish for it to be taken that way. Anyways now that that has been cleared up, here is 2.2k of angst to fluff (because we all know I can’t end with angst). Also sorry this took so long it’s been sitting in my drafts for almost a week now and I kept forgetting to post it.

Warnings: Swearing (just in case you’re not into that)

“It’s not just a silly little performance Shawn! She was practically fucking you with her eyes!” When you planned on calling your boyfriend tonight after his VMA performance you would never have imagined it turning into a screaming fest between the two of you. You were never known to have arguments in your relationship, usually just small ones that were resolved in a matter of minutes, but ever since Señorita came out, all the two of you seemed to be doing was fighting. Shawn was required to do PR for the song because of his contract, and your insecurities about his closeness with Camila, along with the fact that your relationship with Shawn was completely hidden from the public, only spurred your self doubt and managed to spark many arguments between the two of you.

“Can you stop being jealous for just one second and be proud of me?! I didn’t call you just to be screamed at about something that you’ve made up in your head!” Shawn had never used this tone of voice with you before but with the distance between the two of you right now, arguing on the phone only seemed to increase the tension in the air.

“It’s not made up Shawn! The two of you almost kissed onstage! If I wasn’t your girlfriend I would’ve thought she was! You know how embarrassing it is to watch your boyfriend touch someone the way he’s only supposed to do to you!”

“Do you even hear yourself right now? You’re acting like I fucked her up there when all I did was sing a 3 minute song! You’re my girlfriend and you know it and that’s all that should matter!”

“Shawn, it’s humiliating seeing you acting like that up there with the girl you’ve been singing songs about for years. How am I supposed to compete with that?”

“I’m not asking you to compete against her, I’m asking you to be proud of me instead of acting like a jealous bitch all the time!” he shouted, pacing back and forth in his hotel room, hand scrubbing over his face in frustration.

“A jealous bitch? Really, Shawn? I have been so supportive of you through our whole entire relationship and you’re gonna tell me that I spend more time being a jealous bitch instead of being proud of you?!” Your heart clenched in your chest. Were all the endless nights staying up listening to his music meaningless to him? Or the times when you were up past the crack of dawn in the studio with him because he claimed you were his muse and he couldn’t finish without you? Did that all mean nothing to him? And that’s not even talking about all of the award shows and performances you’ve supported him through.

“Yes I am! You’ve spent more time complaining about my performance with Camila then congratulating me on If I Can’t Have You!”

“I’m sorry I haven’t fed your ego enough before trying to talk to you about my concerns. Guess I should’ve realized you were always the more important one in the relationship.”

“Shut up! I’m so sick of you and your attitude, I’m done!”

Your breath caught in your throat, the tears that were pooling in your eyes beginning to stream down your face, “You’re done?”

“Yeah, I’m done I can’t do this anymore. Good night.” The sound of the phone call ending filled your ears and you collapsed to the floor with a heavy heart, sobs coming out of your mouth. You didn’t know what to do besides cry. How else were you supposed to react after you got into a heated argument with your secret boyfriend of over a year, while he’s thousands of miles away from you?

Two hours later your tears were dried, head pounding and heart aching from the stressful night you had. You used the last ounce of strength inside of you to move yourself into the bathroom, starting a hot shower in hopes of calming you down. You undressed slowly, staring at yourself in the mirror only to be met with a shell of your former self staring back at you. Your eyes were swollen and red from the endless amount of crying you did and the longer you looked into them, the more lifeless they seemed. The warm water felt relaxing on your skin, but you stood there for the longest time before you could find the strength inside of yourself to do anything. You managed to grab your shampoo with a weak, shaky hand, accidentally squirting some on the ground in an attempt to squeeze it into your palm. You sighed to yourself in sadness as you turned around in the shower to scrub the shampoo in your hair. Just as you placed your foot back down, it slipped out from underneath you, sliding on the fallen shampoo on the floor. Your arms reached for something, anything to grab onto in order to stop your fall, but you came up short, head banging into the wall next to the faucet, barely missing the metal knob. Your eyes fluttered shut, life flashing before your eyes. You saw when you first met Shawn at the cafe, his blushed cheeks as he asked you on your first date, when he said I love you for the first time, the look in his eyes he always had before he kissed you. But then you saw the way he looked at Camila, his recent music video, and finally your reflection in the mirror from when he was screaming his lungs out at you and told you he was done.

Your eyes shot open, body propelling you forward to sit up, causing you to grasp your head in pain as the water streamed onto you from overhead. Blindly reaching for the knob, you manged to turn off the water, removing your hand from your head only to see blood pouring over it. Your heart stopped in shock, panic rushing over your body as you scrambled to get out of the shower. You were never known to be good with blood and as you grabbed a towel to cover yourself, the only thing you could think to do was call your mom. And fortunately for you, she always answered her daughter’s calls.

“Mom, I have a problem...”

___________

Meanwhile in New Jersey, Shawn was frustrated beyond belief, pacing the floor of his hotel room with his phone in his hand. “You know man....I can kinda see where she’s coming from...” Brian began only to be cut off harshly by his best friend.

“I know! I just-ugh, I don’t know what to do! If I don’t do the PR, management and Camila are gonna kill me and I mean she’s one of my best friends! I can’t have her be mad at me!”

“Yeah, but would you rather have an angry girlfriend? Cause that’s what happening right now.”

Shawn groaned, throwing his head back before leaning his hands on the dresser and hanging his head, “I don’t want her to be mad at me but I don’t have a solution for this. I love her, but all we’re doing since that stupid music video is fighting and I can’t take it anymore. I’m not even in the same country as her right now! Fuck, why did this have to happen now?”

��Are you gonna break up with her?”

“What?!” Shawn turned back to his red haired friend, shock written all over his face, “Of course I don’t want to break up with her!”

“Are you sure she knows that?”

“Of course she does...”

“Really? Cause you told her you were done before you ended the call.”

“Yeah, but...shit. She doesn’t really think that, does she?”

“I don’t know man, but...” Brian’s words were cut off by Shawn’s phone ringing and the two boys looked down at it, an anxious feeling bubbling inside of the two of them. “Bro, why is her mom calling you?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, why would she call me?”

“How would I know? Answer it!”

Shawn stumbled to hit the green button with shaky fingers, holding the phone up to his ear cautiously, “H-Hello?”

“Shawn...it’s Y/n, she’s in the hospital right now.” Shawn almost dropped the phone out of his hand, entire body going numb as your mother explained everything she knew about your accident. He hardly processed any of the information given to him, mind barely registering when she hung up the phone. His heart pounded in his ears and all he could think of was how he wasn’t with you right now, and how much you were probably panicking when you fell in the shower with no one around you. He should’ve been home with you, not thousands of miles at an award show. Not doing press for a new single. Not screaming at you over the phone about things he didn’t even mean. No. He should’ve been home being a good boyfriend, loving you and protecting you, making sure you never felt alone. So the moment he got his bearings straight he knew exactly what he had to do and no one, especially not Andrew, was gonna stop him.

___________

You groaned as the bright lights of the hospital room met your weary eyes. After going through scan after scan to ensure their was no internal bleeding, you got enough stitches in your head to make you pass out for hours. Your head still hurt, but more than that, your heart felt like it had been through hell and back. Trying to move your arm, you frowned when you felt a heavy weight preventing it from moving, your eyes falling on a mop of brown curls sleeping with his head on the edge of the bed, hand in yours. “Shawn?”

“Hm, what?” he mumbled, regaining consciousness once again, “Baby, are you awake?”

“Yeah, I- what are you doing here?” Before he could even begin to answer he was already lunging towards you, wrapping his arms around you as tight as he could, being cautious about your injuries in the process.

“I love you so so much,” he mumbled into your shoulder as he squeezed you tighter, “I don’t ever wanna fight again.”

You sighed in relief of your boyfriend just being here again, telling you he loved you, and you wrapped your arms around him, reciprocating his hug with as much strength as you had, “I’m sorry I was acting jealous I shouldn’t have accused you of-”

“No, stop.” Shawn sat up, lifting your chin to look him in the eyes, his holding nothing but seriousness in them, “You have no need to apologize. I’m so sorry, baby. I should have been here for you and I shouldn’t be doing things like that without talking about it with you first. I hate fighting with you and I especially hate fighting with you over the phone. It’s my fault you’re here and I’m so sorry.”

A tear slipped down his face and you cupped his cheeks tenderly, wanting nothing more than to take his pain away no matter how much he hurt you. That was one of the things you loved about Shawn. He felt things so deeply that it almost made you forget everything that was going on in your own life and just feel how he was feeling. But now, you wanted to see the Shawn you loved that was full of happiness and joy, and you would do anything to get that back. “It’s ok baby, we both said things we didn’t mean and we’re gonna be ok. Alright? We’re ok.”

“I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry, baby, please forgive me,” he sobbed into your shoulder again, heart weighing down with guilt even after hearing your words.

“Shawn look at me,” you pulled his head out of your chest to be level with your own, “I love you and I forgive you, for everything. No matter what’s weighing on your heart right now, I forgive you for it.”

He sniffled, tear still streaming down his face as he pulled you in for a salty kiss, needing to feel closer to you. “I thought I lost you when your mom called me,” he mumbled against your lips, “Don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have you. I had to hop on the first flight back home because I couldn’t live with myself knowing I was responsible for losing the one thing that means the most to me.”

“Stop,” you disconnected your lips from his to stare into his honey brown eyes, the ones that usually held so much love and joy only holding guilt and sadness, “I’m fine, it was an accident. I could have slipped even if you were home and we weren’t arguing. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more. You and me together forever.”

“Forever.”

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disaster-bay-leaf · 3 years

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Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

#smadhuman being pure af #bay answers #long post #very long post #ask #asks

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chemicalbrew · 4 years

Note

bwandish 3 :3c

(I apologise if I get any track names wrong, they're different between what's used officially and what I got used to seeing from another source)

***

Fav Character Theme: Ares (jdk arrange)

Haven't listened to the original version yet; it's one of the few things that isn't shared between the four playable characters, and I want to have more proper motivation to replay this.

Fav Area Theme: Coast / Cemetery / Desert / Cave / Glacier; in that order, meaning that a single pick would probably be Coast, because it's a miracle in VGM form, but I can't just leave the others out! Especially since Cemetery is just as special 😭

Fav Boss Battle Theme: Boiling Metal, no question. I heard this for the first time and ascended because what the fuck, Brandish actually has good boss music now??? Impossible /s

An honorable mention goes to Maison's fight, that traitorous bitch sure has an unfairly catchy piece to himself!

Fav Final Boss Theme: Exodus (I'm cheating; this plays in the level AFTER the final boss. I don't give a shit, I loved that level and how much it caught me off guard.)

Personal Fav Theme: Rain of Lamentation (this plays in the introduction level. Which amounts to a quarter of a normal floor, because all four characters have unique introductions, but share one map. And this theme was used for the two most important characters. Ugh)

A song you didn’t like at first but grew to like: there's a bunch

Corridor of Nightmare (the area it plays in is pretty true to this name; it surely is the scariest part of the whole series to me! But the melody is solid out of context)

Highland (the instrumentation is really annoying at first, but you get used to it and the melody is strong)

Liberation (it's really generic, but I found charm in it somehow. Maybe because it was my reward for having Dela finally do something about her hometown? LOL)

Magma / Blood from a Stone (similar reasoning to Highland)

(bonus no one asked for lol) The opposite of this — a song that I liked at first and proceeded to hate — is Under Castle. After failing a puzzle three dozen times, falling for an incredibly devious trick and wasting tens of sledgehammers while listening to this song on a loop, you would hate it too.

And no, what I just mentioned doesn't even begin to cover how devilishly quirky Under Castle is as a floor in this game. (But I ultimately fell back in love with the song later, it's all good)

Sanctuary also goes here, similarly because of a few frustrating puzzles (yeah, go on, infer the image of a clock from just '0' and a funky switch/sign layout), but moreso because of the fact that at some point I was listening to it non-stop while playing a different, much worse game. And now they're connected in my head. Ew!

One of the first songs you heard from the game: Tantoll (I was looking at what arranges the old jdk band had done besides Stranger. Tantoll was one of the first things I found and it got me really excited for 3)

A song that gets you pumped: here's another bunch!

Last Revelation (more due to the context than anything)

Memories of Battle (this will probably be one of my favorite staff roll themes forever)

Both of the intro songs (Kingdom of Dawn + Legend of the Lone Wolves)

Fighting Dragon (I think I got the name of this one (from the route select screen) right... It's incredible and wouldn't be out of place of a fighting game's character select screen)

A song that makes you happy: all from the answer above +

Elegy of the Cat Punch Fellow (I like Ballad of the Cat Fist better as a name but I'm pretty sure it's not official...)

Akindo

Literally any theme that has to do with Dela (across the whole trilogy too tbh)

Locus of Destruction

A song that makes you sad:

Song Dedicated to a Sleeping Warrior (more because of how I have no real reason to come back to this game than the actual mood this song sets on the title screen)

Oracle (another one that is more bittersweet in context. girl just wasted eight years)

Whisper

Storyteller

Breeze (Dela's ending theme)

Severe Time, Over

The song you like least from the game: whatever the hell the music that played in the jungle is called, I can't remember the name, but it was so disappointing!!! Especially when juxtaposed against the lovely tune Fivelria had and coupled together with the level's difficulty.

(Just double-checked; it's called Burning Tom Tom and it especially sucks because one of the few things I'd heard about the soundtrack before playing was that apparently everyone and their mom really enjoyed this one! WHY?)

Also, Paranoia. Jesus Christ, that one is awful. I mean, the fact that the floors it's used for are not exactly painless doesn't help either, but ...

#zero.txt #brandish #long post #im not linking the music because im doing this instead of sleeping and that is too much effort #the names i used are close enough you should find everything on YouTube easily #thanks again

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leah-halliwell92 · 5 years

Text

Too Much Love Can Kill You

Summary: Soul marks are found through touch and song, one must sing to find their half and touch completes their connection. To reject your mark is to sentence them to death. You have been on tour with Brian, Roger and Rufus for a year and have known them for nearly four. What happens you find out along the way that you are the mark of one Brian May?

Previously:

“I…I can feel her,” the older man gasped with a breathy laugh.

“And you hadn’t before?” Rufus asked carefully.

“No, I had felt something before but not since we completed our bond,” Brian admitted.

“She’d closed her end,” Rufus said now understanding what had happened to you.

Brian’s eyes widened at that fear now a prominent emotion, “Why did she…?”

“I don’t know. But whatever reason she had for closing the bond, it could be the reason for why she was in the state she was in when da went to her,” Rufus said almost to himself, “She went into shock…from withdrawal.”

Prologue – Chapter 1 – Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Roger felt her small gasp of surprise and couldn’t help give a breath of relief recognizing the action as a sign that both marks’ bond had met. He saw a soft smile start to form your lips and couldn't help the small sad grin that appeared on his.

"He's there...I can feel him," she whispered tiredly her smile growing despite the wince of the phantom pain.

You felt your mark warm and heart thrum as Brian's end of the bond seemed to embrace you. You basked in the feel of your bond meeting his as if you’d been doing it all your lives. This feeling of completion, love and hope...it is borderline euphoric. If it weren't for the fact that their bond and are hanging onto whether or not he accepts them the moment would have been perfect.

In the living room, Rufus sat with a quietly sobbing Brian a supportive hand on the older man’s shoulder.

“She...she knew,” Brian gasped between sobs as the realization of what he had been about to do fell on his shoulders.

Rufus furrowed his brow in wonder at what Brian could mean with that.

“She knew what Bri?” He asked reluctantly.

“That I would reject her, us our bond and she knew why,” Brian said as a fresh wave of tears hit him.

Rufus’ eyes widened at the revelation. He should have known, and taken you warnings to heart, the reasons you’d told him from the moment he found out whose mark you carry and all the reasons you gave him were not out of spite or you being a bitch because of the age gap. It couldn’t be further from the truth, and now is when he realizes that you had taken the time to get to know Brian deeper without doing much in hopes that it would be enough. That this friendship would be enough.

Silence surrounded them as Brian’s sobs subsided.

“She loves you you know,” Rufus said quietly.

Brian looked at the younger man in shock.

“Has for awhile now, since–”

“Since we sang our song,” Brian cut in voice soft and broken.

Rufus nodded silently.

Brian remembered that day… and to this day he couldn’t remember a day you hadn’t looked so happy and yet so sad at the same time. He fell back against the backrest of the sofa and let his head fall back against it. He closed his eyes letting the memory take over.

In the bedroom, you snuggled into the bed and manage to doze off into sleep with the memory of when their bond flared to life for the first time in her mind’s eye. _________________________________________________________________

You took a deep breath in a an attempt to keep your nerves in check…the concert starts soon after all. But you couldn’t help it! This is your first tour with your new found family and friends, who happen to be Queen, and who were you kidding you’re a nervous wreck. You don’t want to embarrass them, especially not Roger who had been more of a father to you than your own had been. And abso-fucking-lutely not Brian.

If you were to have a best friend then he fits the mold. He’s more than understanding, kind and doesn’t mind listening to you ramble about your classes or help out when you’re taking a physics class. He jams with you on his legendary Red Special and gives you tips and tricks to improve your own playing. It’s an amazing friendship no matter what people said about him being older than you or vise versa.

Today proved to be more than just nerves about this being your first tour with Queen but there’s been a song stuck in your head for the past month that is driving you up a wall more often than not. You sat the dressing room you share with the Queens on your own as they did whatever it is rockstars do to before a show, allowing you to put a lyric to the tune. You hear the door open and a familiar poof of hair as Brian walks in a grin on his kind face.

“Hey Bri,” you say putting down the pencil.

“Hey yourself, you doing alright?” He asked taking a seat on the other side of the couch you were sitting on.

You nod with a grin of your own before you give the half written song an unsure look and with a deep breath then asking, “Can you read over this for me?”

Brian shifted closer to you teasingly saying, “And what do we have here hmm?”

As he read the lyrics, you plucked the chords of your guitar here and there playing the basic tune of the song.

Brian looked up at you a bright grin on his face after reading.

“So...what do you think?” You asked curiously.

He hummed thoughtfully and with a small smirk said, “I think I need to listen to the music with the lyric to decide.”

You returned his grin and began to play...

“Woke up sweating from a dream With a different kind of feeling All day long my heart was beating Searching for the meaning Hazel eyes I was so color-blind We were just wasting time For my whole life We never crossed the line Only friends in my mind But now I realize It was always you Can't believe I could not see it all this time, all this time It was always you Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied, satisfied It was always you, you No more guessing who Looking back now I know it was always you, always you”

You sang the first verse happy and proud at how well the music and lyrics go together. You nearly outwardly gasp when Brian picks up where the second verse starts.

Your world shifted at that moment. Your mark warmed and darkened as your voices mingled and fit… like puzzle pieces you and Bri fit together perfectly. The both of you sang on until the end of the lyrics.

He looked, dare you say it, proud. He looked at you with a bright smile on his face and said, “Quite the song my dear, I certainly can’t wait for you to finish it.”

You nodded forcing a bright smile as you pushed down the urge and itch to reach for his hand. The feeling is excruciating but necessary…

“Five minutes to show time (Y/N),” he said as he stood and made his way out of the room.

“Ok, tell Rog I’ll be there soon yeah?” You say as you put the paper away in your guitar case.

He nods and leaves you alone again.

You feel yourself sag as he leaves, as if he’s taking a part of you with him and in a way he is. You take your time making your way to the main stage. Taking this time to come to terms with the fact that he cannot for any reason know what he means to you and you to him. You hummed your song committing to memory the sound of his voice as he sang along with you. You grinned sadly to yourself as you resigned yourself to living a half life...a life where you and Bri are the other’s marks and he will never know... _________________________________________________________________

Roger slips out of the bed tucking the blanket around you snuggly before leaving the room and letting you rest.

Out in the living room, Roger looked on at the state his closest and oldest friend is in and sighed knowing the feeling of having a young love and feelings that came with it. He’d been in the emotional position of feeling too old to be with the unbelievable woman’s mark and having those feelings of inadequacy due to the age gap between them. As angry as he was with Brian, Roger couldn’t blame the man for wanting the very best under the sun for his mark.

He nodded to Rufus who had stood up when he spotted his da coming out of the room.

Rufus went to go into your room but was stopped by Rog who said, “Let her rest a bit for now.”

He pulled his boy into the farthest room leaving a very clearly distraught Bri sitting on the couch.

“When the time comes, Brian will start going haywire emotionally. I mean...do you remember how I got when Sarina and I met?” Roger asked.

Rufus nodded as the realization of what Roger is telling him dawned. When his da and stepmother met, their bond was instantaneous. Not like yours or Bri’s but near on faster than the speed of light. He remembered how it had taken most if not all the family to sit Roger down and convince him to at least have lunch with her at all! The man looked about ready to jump off a cliff instead of doing it. And it took Sarina even longer to break through the old drummer’s shell before she could convince him that she wanted him fully bond or no bond age gap be damned.

They have all known you for close to five years now, and throughout that time they have learned that you love person based on their personality not based on their age. Age does play a factor but not a major one unless it did bring cause for concern.

“Will it be him going in then?” Rufus asked seriously.

“I think it might be for the best,” Roger said thoughtfully, “Their bond, being newly forged, will be flaring violently now due to their current emotional state…it’s going to be a long night.”

The Taylor men stood in silence for a moment before Rufus asked, “Should we just be as supportive as we can?”

Roger nodded running and hand over his face as he sighed exhaustedly before going for his phone.

Rufus left the room at the sound of him talking to Sarina. His da needs some time with his mark right now.

Entering the living room again Rufus was met with an empty sofa and the door to your room ajar. _________________________________________________________________

If you wanna be tagged shoot me an ask!!! Thanks for reading don’t forget to like and reblog!!!! Feedback is always appreciated!! _____________________________________________

Tag list: @pansexualqueendarling, @queenattheopera, @brianandthemays, @theborhapboysawakenedmywhatever, @ramibaby, @captain–americanna, @awkwardangelshezza, @avengerraven1023, @danamaleksworld, @pastywhiteperson, @readinghorn, @i-was-born-like-this, @redspecialstardust, @reedusteinrambles, @rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives, @readinghorn, @subbysharkbabe, @capan-devereaux, @bowieandqueen11, @bellamy1998, @reedusteinrambles

#brian may #roger taylor #rufus taylor #sarina taylor #roger taylor x sarina taylor #brian may x reader #present day brian may x reader #2019!brian may #2019!roger taylor #present day brian may #too much love can kill you #soulmate fic #queen fic

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starryace · 5 years

Text

my personal introduction to vav

so i have a few friends who’ve been wanting to get into vav but dunno where to start so... i’ll just do this lil thing. obviously there’s gonna be my own opinions so don’t take everything i say to heart but like... here we go

vav (very awesome voice -- pronounced vee-ay-vee but i say vav bc im lazy) debuted in 2015, but when they debuted they had a different lineup. zehan, xiao, and gyeoul all left to pursue other activities. ziu, lou, and ayno joined the group in 2017! the fandom is called vampz because of the groups original concept but we don’t talk about that

* = pre-line up switch! | ** = without jacob (due to his participation in a chinese program)

more about the members under the cut!

st van (lee geumhyuk)

note: during updating i ended up having to redo this entire section bc my computer deleted it all... sigh.

everyone’s dad

kinda gives off party vibes, like a cool club dad, you know?

super duper soft :(( he laughs at everything and he loves gentle things and he may be the oldest but he’s babie

gets really embarrassed really easily and blushes and laughs it off

oh! he also laughs with like... his entire body ekhrbgj

tattoos! on his shoulder and right arm

full sleeve completed

self composed the track “im sorry” off of the thrilla killa album

he lived in china for 13+ years and can speak fluent (if not, almost fluent) chinese

he’s super good cook and he wanted to be a chef before becoming an idol

loves jacob :(( with all his heart

weird but he can drink a lot of water really quickly, that’s his special talent

got a dog with the group! her name is cash and she’s super cute

im sure there’s more but i got mad after my computer deleted everything so i’ll get back to updating this part when things dawn on me

baron (choi chunghyeop)

dancer extraordinaire! he actually used to be in a dance team before vav

smiley boy ;;;; literally he has the prettiest smile and the nicest teeth

he can play the piano and a lil guitar im p sure!

he’s honestly a lil shit but we love him anyway

he’s very mom like, and loves taking care of the members, but i spy with my lil eye someone a lil more mom-like but that comes later

he choreographed a cover of shape of you!

unfortunately, his mom passed away early this year (may she rest in peace).

his nickname is baby prince (from his mom) and it was because of his mom that he was able to become and idol

baron singing??? yes,,, yeS!! his voice is godsent istg

he loves loves loves music and dance

wont shut up about millennium dance studio

was the pizza delivery boy in minx’s why did you come to my home

has a very intensive skin care routine

he!! loves!! food!! constantly nomming

ace (jang wooyoung)

remember how i said how i thought there was someone more mom like? meet ace.

literally babies everyone

eSPECIALLY ayno + ziu (sometimes lou, when lou will let him)

sassy, diva, can also be a lil shit -- esp with baron... 92 line is just lil shit line

lil fucking tease, too--

he has an oral fixation-- licks his lips a lot no bueno for me

teal hair? god tier. senorita? also god tier. everything about him? god tier.

plays the guitar... see senorita

“you’re doing wonderful sweetie” but like... a living version of that

abs... abs for days..........

works out with jacob

dimples!! but it’s more prominent on the right cheek.

god he’s??? literally ethereal. like i can’t put into words how pretty he is

he ;;;; has the purest, most sweetest heart

they need to start letting ace have more lines bc omg his voice ;;;;;

really good with kids ;;;;; they love him

he’s a BIG flirt, it’s like when he opens his mouth the only thing he thinks to do is say “i love you” or “you’re mine” or smthn

Prince Wooyoung™

ayno (noh yoonho)

was on no.mercy -- still kinda keeps in contact with monsta x now (hims was lil babie minhyuk)

yknow how baron is dancer? so is ayno -- aYNO IS GOD TIER DANCER ok he ;;;;; ugh he’s literally so talented

he raps too! also god tier

hims a soundcloud rapper -- dropped zero coke (mixtape) and god that boy is talented

self composed their song touch you (aka one of my fave vav songs)

ace’s baby... really, he’s vav’s baby, but still

fake maknae to the max. it still baffles me that he’s older than the others ima list

hims also pretty shy, but it’s real cute ;;;;

lou has such a big fat crush on him and he’s always embarrassed by it

he zones out a lot and is very mellow & quiet until something inside him switches and then he’s like BAM loud and crackhead

ziu.... brings out... the crackhead in him lbr

former happyface ent trainee w/ ziu

puppy!

also really good with kids!! prolly bc he is a big kid himself erhbjeg

often writes his own raps for songs

jacob (zhang peng)

resting bitch face to the max

800% done with everyone’s shit

chinese member!

he was performing in a chinese show called all for one -- his team got eliminated (sad) but that means he’ll be returning to the group (happy!)

that’s why he wasn’t in so in love/thrilla killa/im sorry

hims loves his st van

he also eats... a lot.

ok but like... he works out with ace, right? boy has such chiseled and nicely defined abs, it pains me

he’s a happy lil sunshine boy

savage as fuck

his smile literally adds 5 years to your lifespan

all of the members miss him so much ;;;; its honestly super wholesome and every once in a while they’ll be like “omg cobi would love this” or “jacob....... we miss you”

but then you have shithead lou being like “i mean... its nice having the room to myself” wrehbjehg

he dance too! idk what type of dancing it is but he does it!!!

he was in the chinese movie “the dreamer on the catwalk”

BRING HIM BACK ATEAM PLS I MISS HIMS

HE HAS RETURNED AND HE’S STRONGER THAN EVER

lou (kim hosung)

my #1, my one and only, my precious sweetheart

tall as fUCK

has a deep ass motherfucking voice

grew up in georgia as a kid (can speak fluent english) and then the philippines when he was a teen!

kinda the more quiet & reserved member

but dont let that fool you......

he too is a lil shit

AND A CHAOTIC GAY -- ziu bothers him a lot but he has a big ol’ crush on ayno and he never shuts up about how pretty he is and how much he loves him

he can be a grouchy lil bitch too tho hkerbjeg

in this interview baron and st van were being cute and he’s just in the corner like “youuuu shouuuld daaaate” -- gay. in the same interview thats one instance where he wouldn’t shut up about ayno

hims a rapper too!! he often writes his own raps for songs (much like ayno)

his own mixtape (goodnight) literally is so nice i listen to it all the time

he has a vlive thing he does called lou-dio and it’s real cute

big ears = the cutest thing ever ehkrbgjeh

he collects a bunch of stuff!! like pop figures and toys, like souvenirs from everywhere they go

he was in the youtube webdrama “lemon car video” (eps 1, 3, 7, and 8)

his stage name is lou (pronounced “low” but i refuse to say that) because his voice is so low

ziu (park heejun)

chaotic. just chaotic. chaotic gay, chaotic maknae, chaotic man.

he’s the real maknae tho... doesn’t look it, huh?

manly af

literally so charismatic and funny as hell

wants kisses + love + attention from everyone

goes in for a kiss -- everyone else usually backs away but he’s always disappointed that no one gives into him

kisses kisses kisses

did i mention kisses?

he makes a lot of random ass noises all the time

screm... lots of screm. like you know opossums?? think that kinda screm.

his vocals ;;;;; his singing voice is so, so nice ;;; i adore it.

his room is dirty af i could NEVER

he does some really questionable things sometimes... see here.

like i said, i cannot express this enough... he’s so charismatic. so charming. so handsome.

also!! super hyper fluff ball. hims cute.

aegyo up the wazoo too

former happyface ent trainee with ayno

was in the fri.sat.sun teasers by dalshabet

can get p loud & annoying but that doesnt change how much we love him

idk if any of that made sense... but there you go! there’s so much more to vav and everything they do and who they are, so i hope this just kinda gets more people to look into them? it’s a stepping stone, not everything possible to learn.

+ keep in mind, a lot of this stuff comes from both kprofiles, what i’ve seen in videos, and my own personal opinions & inputs. so... yeah. don’t use what i say as truth/fact unless you see stuff to back it up (or you adopt it as your own opinion idk).

thank you for taking your time to read this!!

#vav #*intro #god what do i even tag all of this #idk #n e ways!!!#lmk what you think #also im not 100% well versed with vav #im kinda a newer stan #but i also did a ton of research #and they're like my 2nd/3rd ults now idek

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like-twilight · 5 years

Text

My 100 most listened to songs this year (that are on Spotify) :3

Ateez: Twilight (not even surprised there, its my favourite song ever)

Ateez: Wave (even though I’m an Illusion type of gal Illusion is usually for when i feel good, and Wave is when I want to feel better and keep my spirits up at work so. hence)

Ateez: Say My Name (she’s perfect)

Ateez: Illusion (AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

Ateez: Aurora (shut up its hONGJOONG’S SONG)

Ateez: Hala Hala (DEEP IN MY HEART, DEEP IN MY SOUL)

BTS: Boy With Luv (lies and deceit, this is NOT my most listened to BTS track, last.fm can back me up)

BTS: Dionysus (SHE WAS MY MOST PLAYED BTS TRACK AND thats the periodt on that tea i just aged fifty years)

Ateez: Utopia (WE CAN TOUCH UTOPIA WE CAN REACH THERE UTOPIA)

Ateez: Dancing Like Butterfly Wings (WHOUOOAH WHWOAUHAIFD)

Ateez: Pirate King (for the hundredth time, Hongjoong, i WILL be your friend)

BTS: Make It Right (no)

Seventeen: HIT (listen………………………………………….. shouldve been the title track)

TxT: Crown (i am so happy my most listened to txt track isnt….. something else…. *gulps* good job, hatchlings. and when will i stop calling you hatchlings? NEVER)

Ateez: Sunrise (HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHONGJOONG’S SONG - listen this song is cheesy and im absolutely in love with it. i want. joy. my heart Seeks it, i cant help it)

BTS: Mikrokosmos (like i said fuck joy)

Taemin: Stone Heart (im being called out for being a sad thot. or a horny emo. idk)

GentleBeatz: Cold Night (pls im crying)

ATEEZ: Precious (MINGIIIIYYAAAAAHHHHH. fuck it up, son)

BTS: Home (im exhauussted man. guess wat. i jus wanna go home. ME TOO, namjoon)

Day6: Beautiful Feeling (its the tragedy of my life that there are no caps in hangul. this is truly. the most beautiful song and it brings me so much happiness. and dowoon. it brings me so much dowoon.)

Seventeen: CLAP (*vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass* bbbBAkKKSSsUUUuu)

Sunmi: LaLaLay (this is why i think this list definitely has a limit on how many songs you can have from an artist on this list because LaLaLay is like my fiftieth most-listened to this year according to last.fm and has a lot of BTS and Seventeen and more ATEEZ before it so idk. anyway sunmi good, release a minialbum pleaaaase?)

BTS: Jamais Vu (its jins song :<)

Ateez: Crescent (*closes eyes* nO)

Day6: Like That Sun (BOIIII day6 really is something else)

Seventeen: Home (honestly? i cry. awh i cant believe this year started with seventeen, it was so so so so nice to become a carat x””””) and this song, man… warmth ♥)

BTS: Intro: Persona (WHO THE HELL AM I)

Ateez: Treasure (hoOOOOBOI thank fuck i watched the dance practice that made me appreciate this song better x””))

Taemin: Want (quote from myself: “I’m not sure about the song but Taemin is a really beautiful man” oKAY)

Seventeen: Our Dawn Is Hotter Than Day (my actual favourite svt song :”””) its. peace ♥)

Lauv: I’m So Tired (bitch i am)

Ateez: Promise (NO ONE TAAAKE YOOUUUUU DOOOOOOOWN)

NCT Dream: Boom (what are these foetuses doing here lmao)

BTS: I Need U (whats THIS motherfucker doing here x”) fuck off)

BSS: Just Do It (the Only Song)

Ateez: My Way (this Hongjoong rap……. i swear, my LIFE)

Seventeen: Boomboom (the LEAST LIKED SVT TITLE TRACK??!?! kiSS MY BUTT)

BTS: Mic Drop (u kno, the steve aoki one)

……………. TxT: Cat & Dog (listen…… its Yeonjun’s rap, i swear! IM INNOCENT!!!)

Ateez: Stay (me: its the Wanted intro song! x”””))

Seventeen: Don’t Wanna Cry (ulgo shipji anha bitch)

BTS: Blood Sweat & Tears (last year’s most listened………. still as horny as ever)

NCT 127: Superhuman (they do have a lot of songs that i love but i feel like this is the song?! like The Song?!?!? The Comeback? its just so well put together and i love LOVE the choreo. doyoung ate the vocals)

Ateez: Desire (another song i really didnt appreciate in the beginning but. I changed my ways, i promise, tHAT OUTROOOOOO)

Stray Kids: Miroh (fine, fINE THEY GOT ME WITH THIS ONE)

Seventeen: Lie Again (bitch. also i realised my favourite line isnt even said by mingyu its said by mr. scoops. anyway im in pain)

BTS: Anpanman (i still cant believe how Actually good this song is x”””))

Ateez: Wonderland (you know for a song that was only released two months ago! only one of which was measured by spotify, its p good! gAJAAAAA)

Taemin: Sexuality (that one perf. you know the one. yeah.)

Apink: 응응 (this was released in JANUARY and its still one of the best songs this year)

BTS: Trivia: Seesaw (he has a CHOREO)

Ateez: Light (yuNHO’S SONG)

Seventeen: Getting Closer (fuck them haters, this is the most well-put together svt song that exists fight me about it)

Shinee: Symptoms (this song is Beautiful, i remember going through shinee’s discography and being FLOORED)

BTS: Go Go (yoloyoloyoloyo)

Ateez: WIN (AAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE)

Seventeen: Bring It (Hoshi: imma kill everyone in this mofakin house)

Taemin: Artistic Groove (”oh i dont like this song that much” she said “Im a fucking LIAR” she said)

BTS: Pied Piper (why nOT DIMPLE)

Ateez: Mist (WOOYOUNG’S SONG)

Seventeen: If I (The Hip Hop Unit Song)

Taemin: Move (its Her)

BTS: Epiphany (:< lovely jin ♥ i remember getting into bts and deciding to bias jin Immediately and then five days later this bitch drops you ain ever seen an emotional rollercoaster like that)

Ateez: Thank U (dude when yunho and yeosang go hAL MARI ISSEO and the jongho goes nEOL SAENGGAKHAMYEON BYE)

Seventeen: Moonwalker (this is so random x”) WHY NOT ROCKET since i have to be tormented by my sins anyway)

Taemin: Shadow (fair, fair, this was my favourite from this album for a long time)

Trivia: Love (nae sarang sarang sarang)

Ateez: Dazzling Light (CHOREO!??!?!)

Seventeen: No F.U.N. (this is such a random selection of svt songs spotify put in here x”””))

Taemin: my current fave from this album :””))

NCT 127: Touch (BITCH IM SO SOFT FOR THIS SONG ITS SO CUTE)

Ateez: With U (cOFFEE SHOP MUSIC)

BTS: Begin (why this. i dont even like jk)

Block B: Very Good - Rough Ver. (of course this is on here x”””) LETS GO)

Day6: Sing Me (that one live did it for me where jae just Goes Missing and then he’s in the middle of the crowd suddenly yes very good)

Ateez: If Without You (little known fact the OOOOH and WhoOOOAOaa sound effects in the background are all Me)

Taemin: Danger (neolhumchyeogayohumchyeogayo)

BTS: Dimple (finally! anyway this choreo was a mistake)

NCT 127: Simon Says (”i dont like this song that much” sHE LIED AGAIN)

Ateez: Beginning of the End (why lmao)

Day6: Somehow (ahhh this used to be my ultimate favourite day6 song and its still v close to the top ahahhHfdjhkéfdosdjágf I love IT)

Seventeen: Hug :<

Oneus: 가자 (GIVE ONEUS THEIR WELL-DESERVED WIN THEY HAD THREE KILLER TITLE TRACKS THIS YEAR THEYRE AMAZING)

NCT U: Boss (jungooooo ♥♥)

BTS: Reflection (Kim Namjoon Made Me Cry In Public????!!?!)

Seventeen: Highlight (get. out. of. my. sight.)

Bastille: Bad Decisions (is…. is this the first (and possibly only…) non k-pop song on this list,!??! hahAhfddéjfdk)

Day6: Shoot Me (DEI SIKSEU DEI SIKSEU WHOOOOOOOOOO that was the fanchant)

Steve Aoki (feat. two random people): Waste It On Me (kim namjoon stop telling me to eat you)

Seventeen: Oh My! (ah when i used to listen to this every morning to give me Good Mood)

Oneus: Twilight (taEYANGI TTEOREOJINDA)

Taemin: Thirsty (same)

Editors: Barricades (oh good, save me, tom, sAVE ME. this song is actually amazing. i love uhhhhh uUUUHHHH frankenstein and the other new ones (i know their titles) but this one is just up there too ♥♥)

Seventeen: Good to Me (and then mingyu outthotted everyone and the world exploded, the end)

Day6: 121U (the song that first got stuck with me!)

Baekhyun: UN Village (this is so random but i mean i wont lie.)

The Boyz: Bloom Bloom (im so happy this is on here. these guyz deserve so much more love and recognition ♥♥ both bloom bloom and ddd are amazing and. theyve had a year)

Seventeen: Very Nice (you could say this song is… aju nice ;-))

Momomeme: Gogobebe (oh does this mean i can be bisexual? since theres a gg on this list? PLEEEEEEASE)

#spotify #spotify wrapped #yey :)#a qUARTER of this is ateez lmao #more even #there was EIGHT bts last year #theres more now i think nine...teen?#idk but lol

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joncrawford · 4 years

Text

Best of COVID-2019: (Late) 2019 End of Year Wrap-up

Even though we’re well into 2020, most of us would probably swallow a pill that makes us forget the year so far. With a new job, I got too busy to do an end-of-year wrap-up of my picks for the best albums, movies and shows of 2019, so assuming you’ve swallowed your Hindsight Pill™ (get it?, cause hindsight is 20..ok, fair if you stop reading now) here’s my take on the best music, movies and shows of 2019. Maybe you’ll find something to make the rest of quarantine a little better.

ALBUMS

Remind Me Tomorrow by Sharon Van Etten on Spotify

It’s hard to find a better album this year. It’s heartfelt, gentle in places / wild in others, it pushes her sound forward from her more folky records of the past and gives us the opportunity to gaze into this sensitive she-hulk of an artist’s soul.

Favorite Track: Jupiter 4 - Jupiter 4, a song by Sharon Van Etten on Spotify

Lux Prima by Karen O on Spotify

This concept album by Karen O (“Yeah Yeah Yeahs”) and Danger Mouse (“Broken Bells”, “Gnarls Barkley”) can best be described as a record composed by badass feminine superhero from the future who has a nostalgic fascination with soundtracks from 70s European love story films. It’s phenomenal. The chord progressions are unusual and interesting. The vibe is consistent throughout. It’s a great record to listen to intentionally or a perfect soundtrack to a day outside with friends.

Favorite Track: Nox Lumina - Nox Lumina, a song by Karen O, Danger Mouse on Spotify

Lana Del Rey - “Norman F*ing Rockwell“ (censored for my mom)

I get it. You stopped following Lana after “Summertime Sadness”. She’s not your jam. She’s vapid. There’s something about her appearance that you don’t like (Didn’t she get her lips done?). She doesn’t make serious music. Here’s the thing though: You’re f*cking wrong (censored for mom). LDR is one of the most prolific songwriters and performers we’ve got. This artist has evolved with each album and the songwriting keeps improving. This is her best album to date. The lyrics take on deeper themes than her prior records and any ego on previous submissions seems to have been replaced by a general comfort in herself and the discomfort of her experiences and relationships (fictional or not). This is also her release with the lightest touch. She’s not pushing the LDR persona anymore, she’s being herself — take it or leave it. It’s her, your little Venice B!tch (censored for mom). Hi, mom!

Favorite song: Venice Bitch, a song by Lana Del Rey on Spotify

Phoenix by Pedro The Lion on Spotify

This is my favorite artist’s first studio album in 15 years. (!!!) It’s not technically fair to say that because he released several color records in the interim. As a largely one-man show, the DNA was very much the same. But this is a true return to form for the the man known as David Bazan that I’ve been following carefully for 20 years and have seen live too many times to count.

This is a concept album (most of them are) about his experience growing up in Phoenix, AZ. But it’s more about growing up than about Arizona. I got goosebumps and watery eyes the first time I listened carefully to the lyrics of “Yellow Bike” which tells about the experience of getting your first bicycle as a little boy around 1990. For me, this was the apex of my childhood. Absolute freedom and the ability to easily join any pack of desperado bike kids.

The album hits hard with the catchy hooks, introspective lyrics, challenging topics and excellent production & instrumental performances only using standard rock staples like guitar, bass and drums (with a couple quick appearances of an organy synth).

Lyrics, melody & a great beat. This is a fantastic rock album.

Favorite song: Yellow Bike, a song by Pedro The Lion on Spotify

WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? by Billie Eilish on Spotify

Much has been written about this wunderkind. You know her. It’s a great album. She has a promising career ahead of her.

Favorite song: when the party’s over, a song by Billie Eilish on Spotify

SOUND & FURY by Sturgill Simpson on Spotify

This album slays. It’s a badass rock album. If you don’t know Sturgill Simpson, he’s technically a country act… BUT! He’s entirely rejected the conventions of modern country with its shallow lyrical content, right-wing dog whistling and computer-assisted faux harmonies. He sings about psychedelics, his problems with religion and also covers 80s synth-pop in country ballad fashion. Well, forget all that for this record. It’s a banger. This record sounds like Waylon Jennings was cloned 100 years in the future and brought back just to record a ZZ Top album. Major leap for this artist. One of the best of the year.

Favorite song: Make Art Not Friends, a song by Sturgill Simpson on Spotify

ANIMA by Thom Yorke on Spotify

We’ve had a complicated relationship with Thom Yorke’s solo work. As the lead singer of Radiohead, we’ve had to give deference to literally anything with his name on it. But his prior solo works have waded into the avant-garde and we’re entirely listenable in a casual way throughout. This has changed. This record is a masterwork. In fact, it demanded a beautiful short film directed by Paul Thomas Anderson (“The Master”, “There Will Be Blood”) released on Netflix earlier in the year featuring no dialogue and Thom and his wife is choreographed love affair starting during a mundane commute. My favorite track is the most peaceful and introspective on the album.

Favorite song: Dawn Chorus, a song by Thom Yorke on Spotify

Fear Inoculum by TOOL on Spotify

It’s TOOL’s first album in 13 years. WHAT. It’s fantastic. Worth the wait? Hell no because that’s too long to wait for almost anything. There are people with Snapchat accounts that weren’t alive when “10,000 Days” came out (2006). 728,000,000 people (presumably, all TOOL fans) died since their last album. I can’t, in good conscience, condone the deprivation of 3/4 of a billion people like that. But it’s SO good. This is metal for people that don’t like metal (I don’t really like metal).

Favorite song: Pneuma, a song by TOOL on Spotify

Screamer by Third Eye Blind on Spotify

I may be literally this bands only fan still paying attention, but I don’t care. They’re still writing fantastic tracks. This was one of my heavy-hitter bands in high school. I learned every song from their first two albums on the guitar. Then I stopped paying attention for like 13 years. In 2016, I ran across a new single by the band and went in with a lot of trepidation. Most bands from your high school years should probably leave it there. There's nothing worse than a band desperately trying to stay relevant with weak ass releases well beyond their shelf life (cough Goo Goo Dolls –– They've put out 4 albums in the last 10 years. 🤦‍♂️) But then I heard Third Eye Blind's pro-Black Lives Matter track “Cop vs. Phone Girl, a song by Third Eye Blind on Spotify” released in 2016. Go back and listen to that one. It's not only catchy as hell, but it's got a gut punch of a message about how shitty is it to be a well-meaning black student in a white-dominated power structure that's supposed to be a safe place like school.

Well 2019’s “Screamer” doesn’t disappoint either. It’s all the same energy and hooks of the band’s early sound with an updated feel and sensibility that still feels like a relevant rock album. All the same things you came to Third Eye for in the past is right here waiting for you on “Screamer”. I know I’m gonna get some flack for this one, but…shut up.

Favorite song: Ways, a song by Third Eye Blind on Spotify Bonus points if you catch the “Outside Lands” ref.

i,i by Bon Iver on Spotify

Short review for people who know how to pronounce the name correctly: It’s a Bon Iver record. Listen to it.

Longer review: It’s pronounced “Bone ee-VAIR” based on the French bon hiver, meaning “good winter”. If this is news to you, here’s a nugget from an interview where the main figure in the band explains it:

When I was living up north I wrote a letter. I’d come across a story about this Alaskan town that the people, the first snow of every year, they come out of their houses and gather in town square. They hug and kiss each other and they say “Bon Iver.” I was like, “whatever that is, that’s cool!” … Then I found out how it’s spelled and it was sort of disappointing. I didn’t like how it looked. It didn’t have any emotion. Looking at it didn’t make any sense. I wanted to look at it and feel something. It was sort of a compromise. I sorta wanted it to be like “Bon Iverre,” sort of like how I saw it, but that didn’t look good either, so I just decided to chop off the “h.” Bon Iver | Pitchfork

OK, now that you’re caught up. I guess you haven’t been paying attention, but Justin Vernon or Bon Iver (DBA) is one of the luminaries of the music industry. This grammy-winning dude-band has collaborated with Kanye, Jay-Z, James Blake, Travis $cott, Poliça, Ani DiFranco, Vince Staples, Eminem, Bruce Hornsby and more. But if you need me to explain any of this to you, do yourself a favor and go back and listen to his other 3 studio albums. Every one of them is treasure.

Favorite Song: Hey, Ma, a song by Bon Iver on Spotify This song makes the top 5 of all the tracks he’s released.

MUSIC - Honorable Mentions

Amyl and The Sniffers by Amyl and The Sniffers on Spotify

Two Hands by Big Thief on Spotify

I vs I by Alex Ebert on Spotify

Face Stabber by Thee Oh Sees on Spotify

Infest The Rats’ Nest by King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard on Spotify

MOVIES

Hail Satan? (Hulu)

JustWatch

Hilarious look at a group trying to make Free Speech really free.

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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Duh. Also I got low-key obsessed with cults after I watched this.

MONOS

Incredible Spanish language drama about child soldiers in South America. Great acting by unknowns.

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Green Book -Duh

Duh. Won an Best Picture.

Parasite

Duh. Won Best Picture.

Joker

Duh. Won life.

Greener Grass

JustWatch

The weirdest movie I saw all year. Bizarre and hilarious. Written by the two actresses who star.

Apollo 11

INCREDIBLE documentary about the first moon landing mission featuring a ton of footage I’d never seen and assembled into such a magnificent narrative. You feel like it’s happening in real-time today. The last time mankind was united around one hope.

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SHOWS

The OA - Season 2 (Netflix)

This was one of the most beautiful creations I’ve seen. Epic followup to the first season which seemed like an impossible act to follow. Netflix canned the show, but there’s still hope it will get a resurrection through another venue.

Watchmen (HBO)

This is a sequel to the critically acclaimed graphic novel from the late 80s. You should read the novel first. As stated two sentences ago, this is a sequel set 34 years after the events of the novel.

The Boys (Amazon)

This is the first realistic superhero story. Why have we always assumed that those with superior or supernatural powers would be intrinsically good and seek to served mankind? Regular humans don’t even act like that toward each other. In this world the soops are like paid athletes and are secretly total pricks. Well made and begging for a second season.

Chernobyl (HBO)

Haven’t seen this? What is wrong with you? It’s in the top 5 highest rated shows of all time on IMDB. One thing I’ll note is that it did a good job separating the characterization of the soviet people from the soviet government. The everyday soviet people in the story came out looking like heroes while the government lived up to its reputation. It made me a lot more curious about soviet history which has led me to other movies, books and Wikipedia rabbit holes. Watch this for the historical value, at a minimum. It’s not as gory as you might be afraid it is.

Love Death + Robots (Netflix)

I love sci-fi and I love weird animation so this just brought it home for me. The episodes are often short and sort of feel like Twilight Zone episodes, each with their own mini narrative or moral lesson. Each episode is made by a different creator or team, so the variety is part of the curb appeal. Great binge material.

#lateMusicReviews musicReviews

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patricksilvrrozartistry · 7 years

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Current Music Obsessions: November 16 - 30, 2017

Soooo there's A LOT of stuff this time. I PURGED my watch later playlist and there's still over a hundred songs on there. ANYWAYS, here are the honorable mentions.

Then Comes Silence - Warm like Blood Lyria - What Do You Want From Me? Witchcraft - Холодный свет A Skylit Drive - Wires and the Conscept of Breathing Fenrir's Scar - From Porcelain to Ivory Royal Blood - How Did We Get so Dark? Cadence Calling - The Accounts of Evil The Oblivion - Helios In this Moment - Roots Demether - Two Roses Tears of Martyr - Evil Domini Words as Knives - Over the Abyss Kobra and the Lotus - Prevail Aftereffect - Fade Away HDK - Pedestal Diamond Black - Sorrow A Crowd of Rebellion - M1917 Alaska Thunderfuck - Come to Brazil Syndemic - Exileseeker Crimfall - The Last of Stands Elephants in Paradise - Feeding a Lie Kalela - LMK Sinistro - Lotus Mercury Killed Newton - Arusha Mourning Sun - Latitud:56'S Aly & AJ - I Know Satanicpornocultshop - Left Handed Darling Imperious - Scorn Cellar Darling - Six Days Lake of Silent Terror - Eyes of God Pale Waves - New Year's Eve A Sound of Thunder - Lifebringer

And the many obsessions.

1) Wheelfall - Impenitent

If you're looking for a death metal track with a dope ass intro, this is the song for you. The intro is so cool and different. It's your typical death metal track, but there's something about this song that's just so epic. Definitely a great listen.

2) Dim7 - Apophis Enigmata

This is blackened doom metal at its finest. It oddly has a groovy vibe to it in the early parts, but then it gets very doomy towards the end. I'm really digging the new direction that these guys are going it. I really enjoyed their gothic doom metal stuff from their early days, but this new stuff is pretty damn awesome.

3) Skarlett Riot - Warrior

This band fuses really catchy vocal lines with some badass riffs and I love the contrast between them. This band is really starting to grow on me the more and more I listen to them. This is a great jam and the breakdown near the end is a great way to tone things down a bit while still maintaining a lot of energy.

4) Moon Tooth - Little Witch

This song and video are so campy that it's making me love them. I'm still very new to these guys, so I don't know if a lot of their stuff is this cheesy, but even if isn't, I'm loving it. Definitely has a psychedelic rock, classic doom metal vibe to it. Go give these guys a listen.

5) Diablo Swing Orchestra - Knucklehugs (Arm Yourself with Love)

This is the first single off their upcoming album and I am so hyped for it. This song is pure camp fused with being an anthem track. Although I'll definitely miss them having a soprano, their new frontwoman is bringing some new dimensions to them that's going to make them campier and I'm beyond excited for that.

6) Ruins of Elysium - The Birth of a Goddess

This is their latest single off their latest album and is definitely one of the highlights off it. We really need more bands like Ruins of Elysium that show their love and support for the LGBT community in their music, especially in the symphonic metal scene. Not only that, but be open enough to show to the world that they're fronted by someone in the community. This song speaks to me on so many levels being the bi dude that I am, and I can't help but feel so loved by such an amazing band. I can't wait to be able to meet Drake, because ya bitch needs to do that.

7) Cradle of Filth - Vengeful Spirit feat. Liv Kristine

Cryptoriana is handsdown their best album in the past decade, and this song is proof of that. I never expected Liv to collaborate with them again, especially on a more aggressive track like this. It's an epic adventure from start to finish and I can't get enough of it. If you're going to listen to anything off this gorgeous album, listen to this.

8) Rivers of Nihil - Perpetual Growth Machine

I rekindled my love for this ballbuster recently. I really need to listen to everything else this band has released, because this is the only song I've listened to from them. The riffs are so great and are always in your face. Don't even get me started on how intense the bridge is. Needless to say, it mutilated my balls.

9) Aeonian Sorrow - Forever Misery

I'm so happy to hear that Gogo of Luna Obscura is in an active project again. This song is completely different from the stuff from them. She sings in a much lower register. Oh, and this is depressive doom metal and not gothic metal. Such a hauntingly beautiful track.

10) HDK - Mortal Zombie

Discovered this song after I watched an interview for Sander's project Phantom Elite and they mentioned he was part of After Forever and I couldn't remember who he was so I went onto the metal archives and found this project under him and checked it out. This song is so epic. It's a bit cheesy, but the fact that it's such an intense and in your face track makes up for it.

11) Amberian Dawn - Dragonflies

I am blown away by how insanely epic this new album is proving itself to be already and I haven't even heard it yet. They're definitely going in a more faster direction and playing with some prog vibes. This is such an epic track and Capri looks insane in the video.

12) Evenoire - Forever Gone

This band never seems to fail me. Each song is such an epic piece of work. This song is so beautiful and has such a cool vibe to it and flows so nicely. I really love how proggy it is and how it switches tone a decent amount. Also it's the first song I've heard from them that features growls.

13) Apparition - The Dames of Darkness

This was a random find that I am so glad I came across. Such a beautiful and power gothic metal track. The end of the final chorus is everything. I love finding these hidden gems that snatch your edges out of nowhere.

14) Metalite - Purpose of Life

This band definitely has my attention. I'm very much looking forward to listening to their debut album, because everything I'm hearing so far is amazing. The strong electronic element goes so well with their power metal sound. Not to mention this song is definitely the fastest that I've heard from them so far.

15) Kartikeya - Durga Puja

I discovered this song through the band's record label and I'm so intrigued. It starts out sounding like progressive death metal, then it gets really weird during the bridge. Like, really weird. It sounds like the frontman is just speaking gibberish, but not a beat-boxing gibberish that Korn uses in their songs, this sounds like legit gibberish. I'm definitely am gonna listen to more from these guys and see what other interesting things they got going on.

16) Gravity - Noctifer ~ Le Porteur de Nuit

I discovered these guys not too long ago and this is the second song I've heard so far. They're a progressive death metal band with some strong djent vibes. I really want to hear more from them, because they have such an interesting sound. It sounds atmospheric, but is way to aggressive to be atmospheric.

17) Forbidden Lore - Endless Run

Another random discovery that snatched my edges. This is such a powerful symphonic power metal track and I need more of it. It's rare to find songs like this on the Metal Monks page, so when I saw it, I had to give it a listen, and I'm so glad I did. Their frontwoman has such a strong voice and I need more of it.

18) Eluveitie - Rebirth

This is their first metal single with the new lineup and I'm not mad at it. I was worried I wasn't going to like their new female singer as much as Anna, but she definitely fits very well. And it's also really great to hear a ballbuster that's reminiscent to some of their earlier stuff.

19) The Hardkiss - Part of Me

I was on a huge The Hardkiss kick for a minute and this was the main song I was jamming to. It's so catchy and fun and the bridge gets me every time. I wonder if they'll go back to having the obnoxiously artsy videos like they did back during the Stones and Honey days, because those were always fun to look at.

20) Aura's Seers - In Our Minds

This is their latest song and it's gorgeous. I LOVE the blend of trip hop with atmospheric metal. It has such a weird and beautiful contrast. And the video is breathtakingly beautiful. I can't wait to hear a full length album from them.

21) Lil Peep - The Brightside

It's so sad that he's past away. Especially since I discovered him maybe a month beforehand. This was the second song I heard from him and it really hits hard with what's going on right now. This song embodies the struggles he was going through. But even though things were really rough for him, he always wanted to look on the brightside. Even if he couldn't, he wanted his fans to at least do so with whatever situation they were/are going through.

22) Navarone - Step by Step

I discovered these guys a while back through either Marcela Bovio or Dianne Van Giersbergen and I really dig their sound. They're very different compared to majority of the Dutch bands I listen to. I guess you could say it's prog, but it's definitely not metal by any means. Such a fun song and a great jam. Really am looking forward to hearing more from these guys.

23) Johari - Bloom

Found a new gem on Spaceuntravel. These guys are ambient progressive metal that remind me a lot of Ashe O'hara's era with Tesseract. It has this soft, but in your face vibe to it that I really like. I'm definitely am gonna be listening to their new album sometime soon, because this song is just so great that I need to hear more from them.

24) Maidens of the North - Carry Your Darkness

Randomly came across this song one day and decided to check it out. I’m so glad I did. This song is so great. An all girl symphonic metal band. Do you know how hard it is to find an all girl metal band? Very! I’m definitely looking forward to what they release in the future, because this song alone is amazing.

25) Snovonne - Filth

For some reason this song reminds me of a Manson song, but it's nothing like a Manson. I came across them through a Facebook page and instantly fell in love with the bizarre and creepy atmosphere. It's so different from what I'm used to hearing from gothic metal bands that have a symphonic element to it. Definitely am gonna check out more from them.

That's it! There's probably gonna be a lot next time, so here's your warning!

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afutureinnoise · 7 years

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DAVID BOWIE, PART 1 BY DAN WRECK

Photo: David Bowie, by Masayoshi Sukita

BOWIE #1 - DEATH

Anything you write could be your epitaph, as an artist.

If you're fortunate enough to have an audience, then the last public proclamations you utter are both eulogy and epitaph: imbued with whatever poignancy the audience wants to put into them. Whatever we want to read into it we can and we will because greedy consumers all, the customer is always right. It's sad and inhumane but when you've made yourself a product what else can you expect?

It feels tawdry to even discuss this, but seems obligatory: he managed to keep his cancer from the media right up until the end. He'd "withdrawn from public life", as the saying goes albeit a very extraordinary withdrawal from public life where he still released albums, appeared in music videos and gave his blessing to the huge Sound and Vision exhibition which exhibited many of his personal effects and revelled in his past.

It's the kind of sleight of hand withdrawal from public life you'd expect from a man who, it is easy to forget now, came out as gay in 1972 on the front pages of the music press. This at a time when no one was really coming out: still a very brave thing to do. Not something you did just to get a slot on Ellen to plug your book. He later adjusted it to being bisexual (which would still be brave now given how many idiots don’t believe bisexuality exists), then told everyone he was straight when he was expedient for him to do so (in 1982 conveniently distancing himself from the gays when he wanted to be even bigger) then quietly years down the line came back out again when it was safe to do so.

This is also a man who once upon a time gave the gossip magazine HELLO! magazine an exclusive, having them cover his wedding to Iman. In September 2000, the birth of his daughter also merited a HELLO! exclusive. This is the kind of thing we bitch at footballer's wives for doing. So let's not pretend he was a shy and retiring man as we shake our heads and bemoan the circling ghouls and grief culture even as we lap it up. But just as it was his right to make his personal life a matter of public record, it was his right to make the end of it private and shared only with his close friends. Remember, he owed us nothing and gave us a lot.

POSSIBLE EPITAPHS #1 and #2 - I CAN'T GIVE EVERYTHING AWAY / LAZARUS

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I Can't Give Everything Away.

A title that both makes a mockery of my point before about how he was as much of a media tart as anyone else and agrees with it. Depending on where you lay the emphasis.There's a well known critical theory of the death of the author which basically says that we, as the readers of a given text decide what it is about and all interpretations are equally valid. It's not one I subscribe to but it's an interesting thought, especially after the literal death of an author.

I Can't Give Everything Away is a beautiful song with motifs from the rest of his back catalogue sprinkled through it: a touch of New Career In A New Town in the harmonica intro, something of Thursday's Child about the vocal melody, hints of Black Tie White Noise in the arrangement. The vocal delivery, though, is purely Blackstar. It's not just a homage, it's the Sound & Vision exhibit in the form of a song. What a performance it is, too. When I first listened to Blackstar five times in a row, before the author was dead, I welled up hearing it then too. There's so much joy and yearning he fits into the repetitions of the title. Then biography bleeds into it and the repetitions of the word "Away" are the ascension of a soul.

“Look up here, I’m in heaven”

The same way that Jhonn Balance's repetitions of "It just is" at the end of Going Up from his own accidental epitaph Ape Of Naples say a lot in very little, it's all in the delivery and the space between the words. I mention Balance partly because he's one of the few artists I love and respect as much as Bowie, and someone I feel a close connection to despite never having met (maybe on the next bardo) and partly because of the very Coil looking black sun appearing very prominently in the Blackstar cover art and the video for this song. He must have known: this isn't the SS variant of the black sun you see used by right-wing morons who underestimate and wilfully misunderstand the power of this imagery. It's not a sun wheel. It's a black sun. The brightest of all Blackstars.

Of course Bowie was no stranger to using, dwelling on and disseminating the kind of occult imagery which has been misappropriated by incompetent, bigoted idiots at different points in history. There's been a thread of it running through most of his career: from the first verse of Quicksand's references to Crowley's Golden Dawn and “Himmler's sacred realm” to the magickal undertones running through 1.Outside that he unfortunately dilutes by couching in references to piss artists like the then contemporary Brit School of artists. Most explicitly, though, he was pre-occupied with these themes around the time of Station to Station and in the Lazarus video we get a more explicit link to Bowie past in the same outfit from the Station to Station back cover.

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In the Bowie's Last Five Years documentary we hear that he found out it was, very likely, going to be terminal as he shot the video for Lazarus. Once again life and art merge and make something that was already moving into something heartbreaking. First I'm going to focus on the video before I get to the song itself.

If you're reading this I'm 95% sure you've seen the video a few times but there are two things which're particularly moving about it when art meets life so unfortunately this will at first seem like I’m just describing things for the sake of it.

The first is the joy and release with which he sings, bedbound but levitating.

The second is is the moment where, before, vanishing off into the cupboard, he looks up with pantomime worry before scribbling down some notes. He is shaking as he writes them as if battling to get these last thoughts, they're struggling to come and he laughs with relief before finally putting pen to paper and getting these last ideas out before the inevitable.

The thing about writing your own pitaph is that, well, presumably you're still alive after you've written it and you can't stop there. Having put that to rest, as an artist, you move onto something else. There's always something else ahead, something which could be bigger and better and brighter until one day well there just isn't. You need to finish it now you've started even if it looks impossible because you can't just stop mid-stream or mid-word. But about when the full stop arrives before you do? Unthinkable. Before you're interrupted, before it's time to put your pen down the heart screams "But wait there's more."

Now onto the song itself. Another one of his many beautiful vocal performances but with a vulnerability you never usually heard from the man. The grain of the voice, the way you can almost hear his throat muscles teeth and tongue as he sings "I was living like a king", the k sound in "like" rattling with phlegm and the dying rasp of "king". It's hard to know when to be frail when you've lived as a king. In fact, even more than a king. Bowie was almost a construct. At points in this song we're hearing the man David Jones.

POSSIBLE EPITAPH #3 - THE NEXT DAY

The Next Day as a whole really plays with the idea of the ageing artist talking about mortality and despite the fact that it isn't as good an album as Blackstar everyone would've reacted the same way if he'd died just before or just after releasing The Next Day. For one it’s the first Bowie album not to display his face (even as distorted as it appears on 1.Outside it's still him, it’s just him after he worked out how to play with filters in Photoshop). We get an iconic image from his past with his face obscured by the title as if to say "The Next Day won't include my face" (good at this ascribing pointless significance to things which don't mean anything of the sort aren't I? Pitchfork should give me a ring. Or The Sun.).

The Next Day is rife with references to death, ageing, disease and dementia. The title track built around the refrain "Here I am not quite dying" and a chant of "And the next day and the next day" redolent of Macbeth's final "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow". As on parts of Blackstar he spends a lot of time looking back, more explicitly than on Blackstar in fact, particularly on the first single Where Are We Now, a lovely sorrowful song full of space and ache in a way he tried to do on Hours but didn't really manage. It was accompanied by a video of our ageless hero starting to look, well, look his age. On You Feel So Lonely You Could Die, which isn't a great song in my opinion, after talking about seeing a former foe's hanging body, he leaves us with that iconic Five Years drumbeat echoing out into nowhere. The album closer Heat bears a remarkable similarity to The Motel from 1.Outside and thus also to Scott Walker's Climate of Hunter or one of his songs off Night Flights. A great track, and another example of the great man not insulting his audience's intelligence / giving us something to go seek out and read (the Mishima references) but as epitaphs go not one worthy of the great man. The Next Day is an enjoyable album but fairly underwhelming once you got over the excitement of Bowie doing an album for the first time in a decade which was obviously something.

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What really impressed me as a gesture was The Stars (Are Out Tonight) and particularly the accompanying video where Bowie and Tilda Swinton are a married couple and Andreja Pejic is in it being impossibly beautiful as Andreja Pejic is prone to being. After going back in in the 80's one of the things he did in this cycle was remind us queers he was one of us and he still cared. That he did so while at the same time skewering the same celebrity culture he fed into by uneasily straddling the boundary of Celeb and Celebrant is the sort of having your cake and eating it too genius we miss him for.

It’s also worth dwelling on how confrontationally gender-skewing the video (directed by Floria Sigismondi) is in a way you see from few artists as prominent as him even in this day and age: aside from the aforementioned inspired choice of Pejic, casting Iselin Steiro as a young Bowie is a master-stroke as is Tilda Swinton as Bowie’s wife: perfect. His video wife is the only person in the world who looks like him. It’s just a feast of androgyny.

POSSIBLE EPITAPH #4 - BRING ME THE DISCO KING

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The closing track on Reality, pre-hiatus and pre-heart attack. Again a very youthful looking and sounding Bowie but for a long time it looked like it was going to be the last thing we saw or heard from him (apart from Little Fat Man in Extras of course which I'm sure some earnest journalist would've managed to contort themselves into calling a "dying man's final joke" or something).

A rolling, roiling jazz song with Mike Garson's piano playing the perfect foil. Full of intimations of doom undercut with an almost Zen resignation. An album closer opening with the words "You promised me the ending would be clear" and containing the line "Soon there be'll nothing left of me, nothing left to release". For a while it looked like there wouldn't be and that he'd settled into being human at last. Just like Damiel in Wings of Desire, an angel who walked among us who gave it all up in favour of beauty you can only really appreciate if all things are finite. Wistful reminiscences of his past "killing time in the 70s" from a man who it was often said was resistant to looking back but you'd be forgiven for thinking (if you believed the critics that is) that he did nothing but.

Of course, as beautiful and sepulchral as the song is, it was written as far back (maybe further, this isn't Pushing Ahead of The Dame I'm not quite that good a writer or Bowie scholar) as Black Tie White Noise and an attempt was made at recording it in the Earthling sessions. It may be an epitaph but one there had been multiple drafts of. Still, it doesn't matter when you write it it just matters when you put it out and there's a certain grandeur given to something by it having been pored over for so long. To think of another great songwriter who died in 2016, Leonard Cohen, you don't think You Want It Darker or Treaty were just off the cuff from the man who spent years writing and honing Hallelujah, do you? No. Until it is written in stone an epitaph can undergo many revisions and be replaced by others, this to be replaced with The Next Day the way Heathen was replaced with this.

POSSIBLE EPITAPH #5 - HEATHEN (THE RAYS)

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Yes, I know it would've been shocking for him to go at this age, especially considering how healthy and youthful he looked at the time (he was in his mid 50s, obviously a young age but looking even younger) but for the purpose of this exercise imagine he did. It would’ve been sad but he never would have had to meet Ricky Gervais. Imagine that the title track from Heathen is the last new song you hear from him. Mournful skeins of effects drenched guitar, a distant tribal throb then the man himself enters the picture.

"Steel on the skyline, sky made of glass"

A voice frozen with existential horror, glazed eyes fixed forward, the horror of Colonel Kurtz or anyone who has seen death and truly looked at it without flinching or looking away. A vision of their own death, maybe. All of our deaths. A man singing to his God or to the concept of death itself. Maybe to the angel he sang of as a younger man in Look Back In Anger on Lodger. Maybe the angel who renounced immortality knowing what comes next. Rhetorical questions.

“Is there a reason?”

"Have I stared too long?".

Then maybe he's singing to life itself:

"You say you'll leave me

When the sun's full

And the rays high

I can see it now

I can feel it die"

The way he sings these last few words and the wordless phrases after it, full of anguish and loss, is chilling even knowing he lived for a while after it. If he hadn't, it would've been his epitaph and it would've been a beautiful one, the Berlin synth atmospherics twinkling away, rays of cold electronic light in the short instrumental outro which fades out and ends as suddenly as....well, life. It can end at any moment you know (you know, you know).

Speaking on the song itself in an interview he describes the writing process as some kind of traumatic epiphany:

"In the distance a car was driving slowly past the reservoir and these words were just streaming out and there were tears running down my face. But I couldn't stop, they just flew out. It's an odd feeling, like something else is guiding you, although forcing your hand is more like it."

Some people talked about the remarkable synchronicity between him writing these songs pre-9/11 and the tragic events of that day but really, is there? Any more than there's synchronicity between any songs mentioning death and a skyline and 9/11? We feel this because he's a voice we look up to, saying these words, and we have decided that's what they mean. In the same way that if he had died after making Heathen it would have been a vision of his premature death. Funny phrase that. Either all deaths are premature or none are. We make the pieces fit and create our own context. Just to make my point.....

POSSIBLE EPITAPH #6 - ROCK AND ROLL SUICIDE

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I'm not suggesting he committed suicide in this alternate past but what if Ziggy really had been it? What if he'd fallen silent after that. Knowing the man's love of being the centre of attention unlikely but what if?

Imagine you're a gay teenager in 1972. Something integral to your very being, the way you are has been illegal up until 5 years ago. Things are going to be shit for you in a very different way to the way they are now: although nowadays if you happen to have been born queer you're still four times more likely to kill yourself but that's okay because if you survive long enough to grow up you can get married now so get over it, faggot. Maybe Bowie / Ziggy would've been a ray of light when you saw him and realised that you couldn't be all bad because maybe the coolest and most beautiful man you'd ever seen was the same as you. He was obviously totemic for queer people of that generation. Dockers in Liverpool saying they'd give Bowie one oblivious or uncaring of the fact that was a bloke they were talking about because it's not a matter of gay or straight or bisexual: fancying early 70s Bowie is just a matter of common sense.

"Oh no love you're not alone"

If that's all he'd done, if he'd told us all he was gay, left us with Ziggy and then when he announced "This is the last show I will ever play" he'd kept to his word then he'd still have been more than a footnote in history. It's all context.

Everything that came later, his pathetic attempt at "going back in" the same way dear old Lou did when he sang Women on The Blue Mask, none of this matters now and it definitely didn't matter to the confused queer kid in a small town in 1972 who for once saw someone who moved the way they'd like to move. None of this shit had happened and even when it did it didn’t retroactively undo all the good he’d done for you. Sometimes that's all it takes. Sometimes that's better than a million It Gets Better PSAs from straight actors who think that the approval of someone a million miles away with millions of pounds means anything to someone who is getting it from all corners, inside and outside of the home. Than a million pro LGBT statements from politicians who work in education ignoring the fact that sometimes it's not just the pupils who're bullying you because they reckon you were born wrong. These words, so easy for them to say and so hard for them to believe.

“If I could only make you care�� is the crucial line. There're no false promises, it's just "Gimme your hands 'cos you're wonderful" as Mick Ronson's guitar wails an echo of the words "Give me your hands". It's a romantic idea but maybe this saved someone. Maybe that’s the most fitting epitaph of all. If you can touch the lives of people you’ve never met and they feel something real when you die then you must have done something right. Being someone’s hero, that means the world.

#david bowie #by dan wreck

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joereid · 7 years

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Top 10 Movies of 2016

I wrote about my favorites in movies and TV over at Decider last week, but here’s my straight-up Top 10 movies of the year. With apologies to movies I haven’t gotten to yet, most prominently Toni Erdmann, Fire at Sea, Aquarius, and The Love Witch. Also I ranked O.J.: Made in America as my #1 TV show of the year, so it felt redundant to put it here too. No judgments if you ranked it as a movie. Obviously.

Runners-Up: I thought this turned out to be a GREAT year for movies, best exemplified by the fact that I had a bitch of a time keeping these 15 movies out of my top 10:

#25 The Lobster (director: Yorgos Lanthimos) #24 The Witch (director: Robert Eggers) #23 Kubo and the Two Strings (director: Travis Knight) #22 Everybody Wants Some!! (director: Richard Linklater) #21 La La Land (director: Damien Chazelle) #20 Hunt for the Wilderpeople (director: Taika Waititi) #19 Love & Friendship (director: Whit Stillman) #18 Sing Street (director: John Carney) #17 Lion (director: Garth Davis) #16 Other People (director: Chris Kelly) #15 Fences (director: Denzel Washington) #14 Julieta (director: Pedro Almodovar) #13 Certain Women (director: Kelly Reichardt) #12 Cameraperson (director: Kirsten Johnson) #11 Mountains May Depart (director: Zhangke Jia)

My Top 10 Movies of 2016

10. Jackie (director: Pablo Larrain) It took me a while to get into the headspace of Jackie, and what a strange little animal it seemed then. Natalie Portman's accent seemed insane, the scenes felt overly gauzy and frustratingly vague, the score felt overworked. But the more time I spent with Jackie, the more intoxicated I was by whatever fog the movie exists in. Portman's performance clicked, the specificity of Larrain's focus felt more and more revolutionary, and the whole enterprise felt an exhilarating experiment on memory, idolatry, and the spaces at which our politics and our myth-making converge. 9. The Invitation (director: Karyn Kusama) I write a lot about movies on Netflix for my job, but by FAR my favorite discovery of the year was the meticulously built suspense of The Invitation. From the opening credits winding ominously through the Hollywood Hills to the slowly dawning terror of the final moments, I haven't felt this tense through the entire run of a horror movie since The Strangers. Featuring some great performances (in particular Tammy Blanchard, Logan Marshall Green, and John Carroll Lynch), and a premise that draws upon every time someone at a party told you they just started seeing a new yoga instructor.

8. Silence (director: Martin Scorsese) A nearly three-hour, racially dubious meditation on faith from a director who's provided me with more peer-pressure guilt trips from film critics than actual movies I've enjoyed over the last decade was not adding up to something I figured I'd enjoy. But Silence is more than just the best Scorsese movie since ... The Aviator? Goodfellas? It's a committed, rigorous, and deceptively complex story about faith and imperialism, anchored by an Andrew Garfield performance of such thoughtful vulnerability that it makes you incredibly grateful that Marty took a break from Leonardo DiCaprio. Also Rodrigo Prieto's cinematography is breathtaking.

7. Hail, Casear! (director: Joel and Ethan Coen) I like when the Coens are having fun. I know the knock on them is that they're supposed to be looking down their noses on their audience and having a laugh at their expense, but all I found in Hail Caesar! was an affection for people who dedicate their lives to something as silly and often contradictory as the movie business. Josh Brolin is probably doing better work than I give him credit for at the center, but I won't apologize for all of my attention going to Channing Tatum's dancing and Alden Ehrenreich's rope tricks.

6. Manchester by the Sea (director: Kenneth Lonergan) When the narrative about this one got boiled down to a) it's unspeakably sad, and b) it's white-male feeeeeelings pornography, I was confused. Well, maybe not confused; I know how Twitter works. More dismayed. To me, Manchester by the Sea is Kenneth Lonergan at his finest, and that means so much more than simple grief or patriarchy or for Pete's sake "Oscar bait." Lonergan infuses his movie with so much more humor, so much more complexity, so much more recognizable feeling than you're expecting by the description. The relationship between Casey Affleck and Lucas Hedges's characters defies any kind of prescribed arc, instead presenting two characters who fit at impossibly odd angles.

5. Little Men (director: Ira Sachs) Ira Sachs has become so good at making movies about how the Big Things in life — love, family, fellowship, generosity, power, resentment — are inextricable from the small things. In the movies, we tend to gloss over things like rent or income or expense. Making it work is a matter of will or serendipity, usually both. In Little Men, Greg Kinnear and Paulina Garcia are good people whose resentments would usually be overcome in a movie by a grand act of love or charity or luck. Sachs knows better, but he also knows that the sum of life and the beauty of lives isn't about it all working out. And that's only the groundwork in this lovely movie featuring a central friendship of boys that is as beautiful, sweet, and gently painful as anything this year.

4. Moonlight (director: Barry Jenkins) Moonlight features such strong, simple storytelling, and that economy of language is all Barry Jenkins, and he deserves all the praise he's getting for it. But that's not the reason we're talking about this movie. There's something truly remarkable when strong filmmaking meets revelatory acting meets the kinds of stories and lives that we are STARVING for. There's sadness here, yes, and tragedy, but I can't help but feel an undercurrent of celebration just for the radical act of making poetry out of lives that are usually not even afforded prose.

3. 20th Century Women (director: Mike Mills) What a difference it makes listening to Annette Bening narrate about the universe and mortality versus listening to Ewan McGregor talk about same. I could never latch onto Beginners, despite the fact that its subject matter was targeted right in my general direction. But in his follow-up, Mike Mills had me cast under a spell from moment one. Bening is superb, playing a woman who's both incredibly wise and incredibly aware of how much she doesn't know. Any shot of her silently reacting to another character is to be treasured forever. And my darling Greta Gerwig does such wonderful, beautiful work as a scene partner here, taking her moments when they come but also as supportive an ensemble player as she's ever been. But it's those moments of narration, where the plot of the movie gives way to the longview, and we get to ponder a bit about the long arcs of time, and it was so beautiful, I nearly melted into my seat.

2. American Honey (director: Andrea Arnold) Andrea Arnold's great big American road trip is sprawling and sweet, dangerous and and desirous. It doesn't work for everyone, and I think I get that. But even if Arnold isn't seeing America through a photorealistic lens, the version of America she's showing us feels true in its emotions and textures and jealousies and desperations and explorations. Sasha Lane, Shia LaBeouf, and Riley Keough are standouts in the cast, but the movie truly comes alive in the group scenes, where the energy of a whole generation explodes into something visceral and charged.

1. Arrival (director: Denis Villeneuve) I first saw Arrival at the Toronto Film Festival in September, and I was blown away by its emotion and intelligence in service of a sci-fi story that became a story about language and bridging unbridgeable gaps. I next saw Arrival a few days after the election, when the film's ideas about facing fearsome and unknown futures and seeing the end from the beginning were all the more moving. What's beautiful about Arrival — besides the photography and the music and Amy Adams — is how our only salvation grows out of achieving complete and total empathy and nothing less. Thats what unlocks everything. It's a beautiful message in a movie that might normally have merely been an exquisitely crafted, deeply emotional sci-fi tale. I didn't see anything else that year that blew me away so thoroughly.

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