Thinkin about gender and spirituality

Preface: I don't have a real point to this. I just remembered you can basically post anything to tumblr.

My ex-mother in law said something to me the first time we met. "I've never understood queer relationships. You need the masculine and the feminine to balance eachother out... But I suppose that's why gays tend to have one masculine partner and one feminine partner."

This woman was a huge name in the druidic community of the UK. She is polyamorous. She told me that she remembered past lives and regularly saw the dead, animal and human. But she couldn't wrap her head around the idea of something outside of heteronormativity.

And she wasn't the only one in my life like that. I was basically raised a little heathen but I still grew up white in the US. Christian overtones policed my thinking and the thinking of those who influenced me. Most of my non-male partners have been feminine in their gender expression, and in turn I acted more and more masculine. I tried to fit a role based on expectations rather then what I (or even my partners) wanted.

Now I'm with someone I expect will be for life. They are 'masc' in that they are Butch. Not divorced from their womanhood even if they do not embrace that part of themselves the way someone who really enjoyed more 'typical' femininity would. Meanwhile I just bought two skirts for the first time since middleschool and I'm becoming even more comfortable with the term 'agender'.

I'm still a spiritual person, more now then when I knew and had access to people with connections in the 'neo pagan' movements. And yet every fucking time I see people talking about spirituality I still see people stumble over the ideas of the 'masculine' and the 'feminine' in nature.

My ex-MIL also said once that I should be careful not to anthropomorphize things. That my experience with a specific tree feeling safe when I was a child in need was probably just me projecting.

On this one thing, I actually agree with her. We project a lot of bullshit onto the natural world. And onto ourselves. Especially in the spiritual community. What is masculine about the sun? What is feminine about the moon? Nothing. They are objects in space with mass and gravity. Why would that make them any less magical? They still have a huge impact on our lives. The sun's impact is generally more overt. The moon's is more subtle. We can talk about these things in how they relate to us, I don't think that's unreasonable. You can't experience the world except from your own perceptions. The sun is hot and brings life but also can cause damage and death. The moon and night is cold but gives us the tides which effects us just as much but usually in ways we either live far from or don't directly think about/see.

The problem really comes in, I think, from how we don't just say 'the sun is masculine and the moon is feminine' it's how that inevitably leads us to imposing that duality onto people. People pose anthropomorphized ideas onto things that are not human and in turn try to use it as a mirror or a measuring stick to hold up against themselves or other humans. And not all cultures even believed these things or have lines drawn this strongly, I know. But I can only talk from the experience I've lived. The presence of strict ideals that specifically Christian-fascism (current and historic) have given us are so pervasive in people like me that they go completely unquestioned. Every book I read, including my ex-MIL's did nothing to question it, and in many cases actively reinforced it.

It's really no wonder that there is a fast and ugly pipeline of 'witch' to 'right-wing' if the people who position themselves as outside the mainstream culture are still just recreating it in the spaces they make.

I just wanna enable you to talk more about Katsuki so. top 5 (or 10, or however many you feel like) Bakugou romantic ships? not like number 1 will be a surprise but hey ;p

ah, shipping. the perfect topic with which to take a breather from leg puns and the quirkless!Bakugou debate. nothing controversial about ships lmao.

disclaimer: these are literally just my favorite Bakugou ships, as asked. I have few to no NOTPs, and I’m not anti-anything, nor do I have any opinions on whether or not any of these will or should become canon (as it really makes no difference to me, since I ship them all platonically as well). basically I have no skin in the “shipping somehow has winners and losers” game. I’m just here for the emotional energy and the lulz and the character development.

anyways this is a top six because I couldn’t bear to leave either of my two favorite rarepairs out whoops.

BakuDeku - like you said anon, not a surprise lol. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; for me, these two are the core of the series. honestly it sometimes strikes me as ironic that this ship is so often written off as abusive or unhealthy or toxic, because I often find myself thinking that roughly 90% of all of Bakugou and Deku’s problems could be sorted out just by them communicating with each other. and I don’t mean just their own specific relationship problems -- I mean all of their problems. Bakugou is having an emotional crisis about something? have him talk to Deku. Deku’s overwhelmed by a problem and way overthinking it? have him talk to Bakugou! they balance each other out, is the thing. when one of them veers off course, the other is the compass to steer them back on track. that’s the power of rivals!! and aside from that, this relationship is just so complex, and I am weak for absolutely all of it. it’s just this perfect blend of push and pull and friction and trust. it’s the type of ship where the two of them have such a strong connection that it’s like gravity; they can’t help but orbit the other, even when that orbit is sometimes unsteady. it’s just such a powerful bond and just... guh. I have way too many emotions about it so I am just going to STOP NOW and move on to the next ship.

TodoBaku - so by now we have reached a point where pretty much everyone in class 1-A is an expert on handling Bakugou, and ngl, it’s my favorite thing ever. but what makes the TodoBaku relationship so especially appealing is that Shouto is completely unafraid to just step right up and declare his friendship to the entire world. Todoroki “I’m calling it like it is” Shouto, who, after giving the matter careful consideration, correctly judged himself and Bakugou to be the closest of friends, and thus decided that they should intern together and he should introduce him to his family and get his sister to cook his favorite foods. and the entire time, Bakugou is all “please no one listen to this delusional freak, we are not friends at all,” even as he proceeds to get himself involved in all of the Todoroki family drama, and saves Shouto’s brother’s life, and learns all of his sister’s recipes, and presumably cries himself to sleep at night wondering how he could have let this happen.

Kacchako - what I like about Ochako’s relationship with Katsuki is that she’s one of the few people who’s not afraid to call him out on his shit. she’s not just warmly tolerant of him like some of the others; she has expectations of him, and will unabashedly express her sound disappointment if he fails to be the person she knows he’s capable of being. I feel like Ochako has no patience for him taking his sweet time with his character development, and is just “goddammit young man, just sort your shit out with Deku already and go back to being best friends like you both so clearly want, and while you’re at it please try to treat other people less like garbage”, and various other things that are all true but that he of course hates to hear, but TOO BAD lol. anyway so I love that, and I love that she’s just as stubborn as he is. and I also love that there’s genuine, mutual respect between the two of them as well. never forget that Katsuki is the one who first brought out Ochako’s homicidal badass side. anyway so they basically complement each other very well, and I have my fingers crossed that one of these days Horikoshi will decide to actually have them interact with each other again because damn.

KiriBaku - Kirishima, on the other hand, is warmly tolerant of Bakugou, and openly admiring of him even, but it tends to be in a way that brings out Bakugou’s best qualities. Kiri just has this way of bringing out Bakugou’s confidence in himself. like, he’s very good at saying precisely the right words to make Bakugou grin that smirky little grin of his, the one that’s all “oh yeah, that’s right, I’m a badass.” and seeing as Bakugou, for all his pride and bluster, is surprisingly prone to having mini crises of confidence, this is a valued skill that I’m very grateful to Kiri for having! and what’s nice is that Bakugou is very good at returning the favor, since Kiri is prone to crises of confidence as well. the little flashback right before Kiri unveils Unbreakable for the first time is one of my favorite moments in the series. when this ship is firing on all cylinders they really bring out the best in each other. and also they are both dumb bros which is an extremely undervalued dynamic. I love it when Bakugou is all “HEY KIRISHIMA LET ME BLOW YOU UP A BIT” and Kiri is just like “YEAHHHH!” heh.

KamiBaku - and now for the first of the two rarepairs! first of all I would just like to state that I absolutely cannot fathom why KamiBaku is a rarepair to begin with, unless it’s simply because everyone is already too obsessed with the previously mentioned ships. but at any rate it’s a damn shame, because the cuteness of this ship is off the fucking charts, and right now it’s all just going to waste. what I adore more than anything about this ship is the way Bakugou tolerates every single fucking thing Kaminari does and LETS HIM GET AWAY WITH IT. he lets him call him “Kacchan.” he lets Kaminari manhandle him into various getups (the A Band shirt; the Santa outfit) on multiple occasions while putting up absolutely no fight. he basically allows him an almost unprecedented level of closeness, which Kaminari proceeds to BLATANTLY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF at every turn seemingly unchecked! and he is the all time champ at tricking Bakugou into participating in social interactions (tying the ribbon to his foot during the Christmas gift exchange, telling him he won’t get any food at the New Year’s feast if he doesn’t help cook, etc.). he just loves him and wants him to be included. honestly this one of the most adorable relationships in the entire goddamn series and I am tired of it being slept on. the people deserve more KamiBaku dammit.

IidaBaku - last but not least, a relationship between two people who I’m pretty sure have only actually interacted with each other a handful of times, and most of those times involved them shouting at each other! ah, yes. the stick in the mud and the delinquent. god’s natural enemies. except that in this case the “delinquent” is a star student who tutors other kids and goes to bed every night at 8:30, and the stick in the mud once hatched a legitimate plot to kill a man. what I am trying to say is that these two are actually WAY more alike than they would ever care to admit, and I’m kind of obsessed with it?? this is one of those ships where all it would take is one well-applied trope and the possibilities are endless. you could literally just pick one out of a hat. fake dating, roommates, only one bed, undercover as lovers, WHATEVER. and not only does this have the potential to be the most hilarious ship in the history of time, but it also has potential to be disarmingly, shockingly sweet, I shit you not. there are a couple of little moments in the light novels that I absolutely adore, where they’re each taking care of the other with the other having absolutely no idea. Iida makes about four attempts to tuck Bakugou in during the forest training camp arc because his covers have fallen off and he doesn’t want him to catch a chill, and Bakugou unknowingly returns the favor by preventing Iida from stumbling across the preparations for his own surprise birthday party before the others are finished getting ready. by shoving Iida into an elevator and ordering him to go back to his room with absolutely no explanation given lmao. anyway, but the point is the potential is definitely there for cuteness and chemistry and mutual respect while arguing nonstop like an old married couple.

so there you go! honestly Bakugou somehow has chemistry with just about everyone in his class, which is super impressive for someone with the personality of a rabid wolf spider. god bless him.

Welllp This is...Books. Lots and Lots of Books

That gif is something of a lie. Some of these books were not great. But! Some of them were very good! And some of them were marketed weird — seriously, what does qualify as YA — and some of them I read in, like, six hours and some of them I raged about for six hours after I finished them.

Or: 2020!Laura reverted to 2004!Laura and read just a lot of books and then her husband got her a Kindle and she read even more books and has thoughts on most of those books that she is now going to share with the internet while also making absurd category names. Note that these are only books I read for the first time this year. So, the list is missing some of the stuff I used as coping devices. ALSO SOME SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

FAVORITE BOOKS THAT MADE A SHITTY YEAR SLIGHTLY BETTER AND ALSO LIKELY MADE ME SWOON A BIT

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a terrifying creature arrives to demand retribution. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she knows about only from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not truly a beast, but one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled her world.

At least, he's not a beast all the time.

As she adapts to her new home, her feelings for the faerie, Tamlin, transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie she's been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But something is not right in the faerie lands. An ancient, wicked shadow is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it, or doom Tamlin-and his world-forever.

— I kid you not, I had to do a lap around the apartment after reading the second book in this series. Why didn’t I read this before? Why isn’t there more fic? Why I am constantly falling for dark-haired sad dudes in love with their wives??? I cannot rec this series enough. It’s got world building and found families, and that dark-haired sad dude, and magic and lore and banter, and it’s so good and I don’t understand why it was marketed as YA. The literary world is weird, guys.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians (and the Heroes of Olympus) by Rick Riordan

Accompany the son of the sea god Poseidon and his other demigod friends as they go on a series of quests that will have them facing monsters, gods, and conniving figures from Greek mythology. Do they have what it takes to save the Olympians from an ancient enemy?

— Straight up, how did you guys cope with Percy and Annabeth when you were kids reading this? I would have been OBSESSED. Quarantine felt like the perfect time to finally read all of these books, and I know it’s sacrilegious to like Heroes of Olympus, but I might have liked parts of that series more? Just because it felt like they were older and I was super into Percabeth being properly in love. Also, now I get why everyone was so upset about the movies. Fair.

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth's fate hinges on one girl. . . .Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She's a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister's illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai's, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world's future.

— Yet another YA series that I will admit to loving this year. Started off a little slow, but once the world building really got underway —and it gets underway — I was hooked. If I had read this at an age-appropriate time I would have been super in love Captain Carswell Thorne. I was still kind of in love with Captan Carswell Thorne. So it should come as no surprise that Cress was my favorite of the series, but I enjoyed the whole thing, really.

Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin

Two years ago, Louise le Blanc fled her coven and took shelter in the city of Cesarine, forsaking all magic and living off whatever she could steal. There, witches like Lou are hunted. They are feared. And they are burned.As a huntsman of the Church, Reid Diggory has lived his life by one principle: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. But when Lou pulls a wicked stunt, the two are forced into an impossible situation—marriage.Lou, unable to ignore her growing feelings, yet powerless to change what she is, must make a choice. And love makes fools of us all.

— YO. Y O. THIS WAS SO GOOD. World building! Magic! Marriage of convenience! Well-written enemies to lovers! As soon as I finished this, I bought the sequel. And then got upset the third book in the series isn’t out yet! That’s a frustrating theme for me this year.

The Roommate by Rosie Danan

The Wheatons are infamous among the east coast elite for their lack of impulse control, except for their daughter Clara. She's the consummate socialite: over-achieving, well-mannered, predictable. But every Wheaton has their weakness. When Clara's childhood crush invites her to move cross-country, the offer is too much to resist. Unfortunately, it's also too good to be true.

After a bait-and-switch, Clara finds herself sharing a lease with a charming stranger. Josh might be a bit too perceptive—not to mention handsome—for comfort, but there's a good chance he and Clara could have survived sharing a summer sublet if she hadn't looked him up on the Internet...

Once she learns how Josh has made a name for himself, Clara realizes living with him might make her the Wheaton's most scandalous story yet. His professional prowess inspires her to take tackling the stigma against female desire into her own hands. They may not agree on much, but Josh and Clara both believe women deserve better sex. What they decide to do about it will change both of their lives, and if they're lucky, they'll help everyone else get lucky too.

— I LOVED IT. L O V E D. As I told Justin “there was more porn than I was expecting,” in that porn and the adult film industry was a legitimate plot point and not just a part of Josh’s character, but it was incredibly well written and interesting and I cared about the plot. Sometimes I also wanted to shake Clara, but that was kind of the point.

The Marriage Game by Sara Desai

After her life falls apart, recruitment consultant Layla Patel returns home to her family in San Francisco. But in the eyes of her father, who runs a Michelin starred restaurant, she can do no wrong. He would do anything to see her smile again. With the best intentions in mind, he offers her the office upstairs to start her new business and creates a profile on an online dating site to find her a man. She doesn't know he's arranged a series of blind dates until the first one comes knocking on her door...

As CEO of a corporate downsizing company Sam Mehta is more used to conflict than calm. In search of a quiet new office, he finds the perfect space above a cozy Indian restaurant that smells like home. But when communication goes awry, he's forced to share his space with the owner's beautiful yet infuriating daughter Layla, her crazy family, and a parade of hopeful suitors, all of whom threaten to disrupt his carefully ordered life.

As they face off in close quarters, the sarcasm and sparks fly. But when the battle for the office becomes a battle of the heart, Sam and Layla have to decide if this is love or just a game.

— More well-written enemies to lovers! It’s possible! Seriously, the banter was so good. The kissing was even better. Ridiculous and interfering family is one of my favorite things, and this had it in SPADES. It also made me want to eat samosas, which is kind of my base setting, but I really wanted Indian food whenever I was reading this. Also, the end scene was so goddamn cute I cannot believe it actually happened.

Recipe for Persuasion by Sonali Dev

— The one that got away is one of my favorite tropes, and this modern version of Persuasion did it so well. Everyone was annoying, but in an almost understandable way that made me ache and I just wanted them TO KISS. And then they did kiss! And it was so good! Plus, at the risk of being a little self-indulgent, it was kind of Out of the Frying Pan esque and I liked that a lot. If there is a downside: it’s how quickly the relationship starts up again, like zero to 60 in two seconds flat, and that there were a lot of POVs. Which wouldn’t have been an issue if they’d been labeled, or weren’t bouncing around the timeline randomly. Sometimes I’d have to be like—wait, who’s talking about what?

Chef Ashna Raje desperately needs a new strategy. How else can she save her beloved restaurant and prove to her estranged, overachieving mother that she isn't a complete screw up? When she's asked to join the cast of Cooking with the Stars, the latest hit reality show teaming chefs with celebrities, it seems like just the leap of faith she needs to put her restaurant back on the map. She's a chef, what's the worst that could happen?Rico Silva, that's what.Being paired with a celebrity who was her first love, the man who ghosted her at the worst possible time in her life, only proves what Ashna has always believed: leaps of faith are a recipe for disaster.FIFA winning soccer star Rico Silva isn't too happy to be paired up with Ashna either. Losing Ashna years ago almost destroyed him. The only silver lining to this bizarre situation is that he can finally prove to Ashna that he's definitely over her.But when their catastrophic first meeting goes viral, social media becomes obsessed with their chemistry. The competition on the show is fierce...and so is the simmering desire between Ashna and Rico. Every minute they spend together rekindles feelings that pull them toward their disastrous past. Will letting go again be another recipe for heartbreak—or a recipe for persuasion...?

The Good Luck Charm by Helena Hunting

Lilah isn't sure what hurt worse: the day Ethan left her to focus on his hockey career or the day he came back eight years later. He might think they can pick up just where they left off, but she's no longer that same girl and never wants to be again.

Just when Lilah might finally be ready to let Ethan in, though, she finds out their reunion might have nothing to do with love and everything to do with improving his game. But Ethan's already lost her once, and even if it costs him his career, he'll do anything to keep from losing her again.

— HOCKEY ROM COM. HOCKEY. ROM. COM. Apparently this lady is regarded as the queen of “hockey romance,” which I kind of take offense to, but will give a pass on because this was a very cute book and everyone was cute in it and I was only marginally frustrated by those same people being idiots. As is required by rom coms. Hockey, or otherwise.

A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Fall in love, break the curse. It once seemed so easy to Prince Rhen, the heir to Emberfall. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year over and over, he knew he could be saved if a girl fell for him. But that was before he learned that at the end of each autumn, he would turn into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. That was before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope.

Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother barely holding their family together while constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, she learned to be tough enough to survive. But when she tries to save someone else on the streets of Washington, DC, she's instead somehow sucked into Rhen's cursed world.

Break the curse, save the kingdom. A prince? A monster? A curse? Harper doesn't know where she is or what to believe. But as she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what's at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

— Beauty and the Beast AU!!! Fantasy! Magic! Romance! I loved this, even when Rhen was being a whiny idiot. But he was also cursed, so like—fair. This dives into the politics of a cursed kingdom, puts a fun spin on the original fairy tale and also has a sequel. Which I read, and possibly enjoyed more. Only to realize the third book isn’t published yet, and then got annoyed by that.

QUESTIONABLY-GOOD FREE FANTASY BOOKS ON AMAZON

The Silver and Orchids Collection by Shari L Tapscott

What happens when a feisty adventuress, a lord looking to make his own way in the world, and a handsome sea captain set out to find Kalae’s rarest and most valuable flower?

Trouble—and lots of it.

— Snarky flirting! Adventure! Sword fights! Listen, this is not prize-winning fiction, but Lucia is a fun heroine, the rest of her adventure-seeking friends are an absolute delight and you don’t have to think too much while reading it. All four books wrap up their individual storylines, but help set up the next one and while the ending felt a little forced (and way too quick) I didn’t hate it enough to throw the Kindle across the room.

Forest of Firelight by Shari L. Tapscsott

After the sudden death of her brother, Princess Amalia is charged with what feels like an impossible task—she must choose the next king. Youthful thoughts of love are pushed aside as she accepts her fate, setting upon a quest throughout the kingdom to find a man worthy of her father’s throne.

Little does Amalia know, someone has already set his sights on her.

Rhys is a man of secrets, and his mission is simple: befriend the princess of Renove. Coax her to trust him, convince her to follow him.

Betray her when it’s time.

All goes according to plan until Rhys meets the princess. Amalia is a disaster. Never has he met someone so drawn to trouble. Never has he met someone so irritatingly likable.

He’s not allowed to fall for her.

She could never entrust him with a crown.

But, unbeknownst to them, their unlikely partnership might be the key to saving their entire world from a darkness that’s slowly creeping from the wounded earth that separates one kingdom from the next.

— FORBIDDEN LOVE! It’s good! Real good! I read this whole series (or the three books in it, so far) in a questionably short amount of time. Again, not the deepest story, and Amalia is occasionally frustratingly dumb. While Rhys is also sort of all-knowing in that fantasy hero sort of way? Y’know what I mean? Still, they banter very well, and eventually kiss even better.

LESS GOOD FANTASY BOOKS THAT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON AMAZON

Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

Theodosia was six when her country was invaded and her mother, the Fire Queen, was murdered before her eyes. On that day, the Kaiser took Theodosia's family, her land, and her name. Theo was crowned Ash Princess—a title of shame to bear in her new life as a prisoner.

For ten years Theo has been a captive in her own palace. She's endured the relentless abuse and ridicule of the Kaiser and his court. She is powerless, surviving in her new world only by burying the girl she was deep inside.

Then, one night, the Kaiser forces her to do the unthinkable. With blood on her hands and all hope of reclaiming her throne lost, she realizes that surviving is no longer enough. But she does have a weapon: her mind is sharper than any sword. And power isn't always won on the battlefield.

For ten years, the Ash Princess has seen her land pillaged and her people enslaved. That all ends here.

— I wanted to love this series. So much so that I read the whole thing. All three books. And I’m still not sure why. The world building, maybe. Which was very good, and the politics actually kept me interested, but every single character was the absolute worst and I kind of wanted them all to die. That’s not even an exaggeration. Spoiler, they didn’t all die. I was only marginally disappointed.

Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller

When the ruthless Pirate King learns of a legendary treasure map hidden on an enemy ship, his daughter, Alosa, knows that there's only one pirate for the job—herself. Leaving behind her beloved ship and crew, Alosa deliberately facilitates her own kidnapping to ensure her passage on the enemy ship. After all, who's going to suspect a seventeen-year-old girl locked in a cell?Then she meets the (surprisingly perceptive and unfairly attractive) first mate, Riden, who is charged with finding out all her secrets. Now it's down to a battle of wits and will... Can Alosa find the map and escape before Riden figures out her plan?

— Alosa was kind of the worst? Like, STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER who had to keep reminding you how strong she was because she would kill anyone, and had an all female pirate crew. And the whole time I was just like, ok...cool. Still, I read the sequel too and that was slightly better.

The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller

Alessandra is tired of being overlooked, but she has a plan to gain power:

1) Woo the Shadow King.

2) Marry him.

3) Kill him and take his kingdom for herself.

No one knows the extent of the freshly crowned Shadow King's power. Some say he can command the shadows that swirl around him to do his bidding. Others say they speak to him, whispering the thoughts of his enemies. Regardless, Alessandra knows what she deserves, and she's going to do everything within her power to get it.

But Alessandra's not the only one trying to kill the king. As attempts on his life are made, she finds herself trying to keep him alive long enough for him to make her his queen—all while struggling not to lose her heart. After all, who better for a Shadow King than a cunning, villainous queen?

— I cannot explain this book any way except to tell you it is so weird. Like, sometimes I remember I read this and all I can think is: why did this book happen? It felt like it started in the middle of the story, which is not a knock on the story itself, but mostly on the world building. Which was lacking to say the least. Also the resolution was super rushed and even more weird and I was like—why does he like her??? I still don’t know, honestly.

The Stars We Steal by Alexa Donne

Engagement season is in the air. Eighteen-year-old Princess Leonie "Leo" Kolburg, heir to a faded European spaceship, has only one thing on her mind: which lucky bachelor can save her family from financial ruin?

But when Leo's childhood friend and first love, Elliot, returns as the captain of a successful whiskey ship, everything changes. Elliot was the one who got away, the boy Leo's family deemed to be unsuitable for marriage. Now he's the biggest catch of the season and he seems determined to make Leo's life miserable. But old habits die hard, and as Leo navigates the glittering balls of the Valg Season, she finds herself falling for her first love in a game of love, lies, and past regrets.

— Another book whose lack of world building hurt it. Stuff just happened, and we were expected to understand it and be into it and I was neither. I had no reason to care about anyone in this book, especially Elliot who seemed like an asshole.

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Princess Lira is siren royalty and the most lethal of them all. With the hearts of seventeen princes in her collection, she is revered across the sea. Until a twist of fate forces her to kill one of her own. To punish her daughter, the Sea Queen transforms Lira into the one thing they loathe most—a human. Robbed of her song, Lira has until the winter solstice to deliver Prince Elian's heart to the Sea Queen and or remain a human forever.The ocean is the only place Prince Elian calls home, even though he is heir to the most powerful kingdom in the world. Hunting sirens is more than an unsavory hobby—it's his calling. When he rescues a drowning woman in the ocean, she's more than what she appears. She promises to help him find the key to destroying all of sirenkind for good—But can he trust her? And just how many deals will Elian have to barter to eliminate mankind's greatest enemy?

— This book did not go the way I thought it was going to. Not a bad thing, but also not the best and the ending was...bleh. The middle, though? That was legit, and the action was good. I am always a fan of sword fights. Still, there was something that left me waiting for the final push towards great and it just never really came.

ROM-COMS WITH ONLY PASSABLY FRUSTRATING PLOTS AND GOOD KISSING

Party of Two by Jasmine Guillory

Dating is the last thing on Olivia Monroe's mind when she moves to LA to start her own law firm. But when she meets a gorgeous man at a hotel bar and they spend the entire night flirting, she discovers too late that he is none other than hotshot junior senator Max Powell. Olivia has zero interest in dating a politician, but when a cake arrives at her office with the cutest message, she can't resist—it is chocolate cake, after all.

Olivia is surprised to find that Max is sweet, funny, and noble—not just some privileged white politician, as she assumed him to be. Because of Max's high-profile job, they start seeing each other secretly, which leads to clandestine dates and silly disguises. But when they finally go public, the intense media scrutiny means people are now digging up her rocky past and criticizing her job, even her suitability as a trophy girlfriend. Olivia knows what she has with Max is something special, but is it strong enough to survive the heat of the spotlight?

— It was cute. Max was occasionally an idiot. The kissing was legit. Most of their problems could have very easily been solved, but that’s kind of this genre’s schtick.

The Worst Best Man by Mia Sosa

A wedding planner left at the altar? Yeah, the irony isn't lost on Carolina Santos, either. But despite that embarrassing blip from her past, Lina's offered an opportunity that could change her life. There's just one hitch... she has to collaborate with the best (make that worst) man from her own failed nuptials. Marketing expert Max Hartley is determined to make his mark with a coveted hotel client looking to expand its brand. Then he learns he'll be working with his brother's whip-smart, stunning—absolutely off-limits—ex-fiancée. And she loathes him.If they can nail their presentation without killing each other, they'll both come out ahead. Except Max has been public enemy number one ever since he encouraged his brother to jilt the bride, and Lina's ready to dish out a little payback of her own.Soon Lina and Max discover animosity may not be the only emotion creating sparks between them. Still, this star-crossed couple can never be more than temporary playmates because Lina isn't interested in falling in love and Max refuses to play runner-up to his brother ever again...

— Once you got past the hooking up with your ex’s brother thing, it was cute. Max was endearing in an earnest sort of way, even when Lina was STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER in a cliche sort of way. More solid kissing. Side note, why are so many rom com dudes named Max? Does it sound hip? Passably cool, but also approachable? Discuss. 

Not that Kind of Guy by Andie J. Christopher

State attorney Bridget Nolan is successful in all aspects of her life—except romance. After breaking up with her longtime boyfriend, she's been slow to reenter the dating scene. To be honest, she has more important things to do like putting bad guys behind bars. But with her brother's wedding right around the corner, she suddenly needs a date and fast. Lucky for Bridget, the legal intern is almost done with his program.

Matt Kido is dumbstruck by Bridget—total love at first sight—but there's one problem. She's totally off-limits while she's his boss. But the moment he no longer reports to her, Matt asks her on a date. An impulsive decision takes them to Las Vegas where, as the saying goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Unless you put a ring on it.

— Having written the “wake up in Vegas married” trope before, I know it’s difficult to do right. Consent’s a thing, y’know? And stuff gets dicy with forgotten memories, and all that, but mostly what kept me from truly loving this book was the intern thing. Don’t date your interns guys, it’s weird and off-putting. Literally if he’d just been a junior partner, or a visiting partner or something else I would have been all in.

Meet Cute by Helena Hunting

Kailyn Flowers was always calm, rational, and controlled—until she ended up sprawled all over Daxton Hughes, the former actor she totally crushed on as a teenager. Then she did the unthinkable: She became a mortifying fangirl in five seconds flat, which may or may not have included professing her undying love. And oddly, he didn't run away. In fact, their meet cute led to a friendship she never saw coming. Of course, she never saw his betrayal coming, either...Now Dax needs her help. As guardian to his thirteen-year-old sister, he's in way over his head. And though Kailyn hasn't forgiven Dax, she isn't heartless enough to make him fend for himself, either. Soon their friendly meetings turn into flirty dinner dates, and Kailyn can feel their chemistry is as explosive as ever. But how can she possibly let down her guard again to a guy who has heartbreak written all over him?

— Once again here for the one that got away trope, even if this comes with dead parents and some sad storylines. It still managed to be cute. Everyone was cute in it. Occasionally Daxton was a dick. As rom com male leads are apt to be.

If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane

If faking love is this easy... how do you know when it's real?When her partner of over a decade suddenly ends things, Laurie is left reeling—not only because they work at the same law firm and she has to see him every day. Her once perfect life is in shambles and the thought of dating again in the age of Tinder is nothing short of horrifying. When news of her ex's pregnant girlfriend hits the office grapevine, taking the humiliation lying down is not an option. Then a chance encounter in a broken-down elevator with the office playboy opens up a new possibility.Jamie Carter doesn't believe in love, but he needs a respectable, steady girlfriend to impress their bosses. Laurie wants a hot new man to give the rumor mill something else to talk about. It's the perfect proposition: a fauxmance played out on social media, with strategically staged photographs and a specific end date in mind. With the plan hatched, Laurie and Jamie begin to flaunt their new couple status, to the astonishment—and jealousy—of their friends and colleagues. But there's a fine line between pretending to be in love and actually falling for your charming, handsome fake boyfriend...

— FAKE DATING THAT LEADS TO REAL FEELINGS. The ex-boyfriend was an assssss, the fake boyfriend was charming, everything was good AND THEN WE GOT TO THE END. Which felt more than a little rushed, unexpected and not really in line with the rest of the book?? Give ‘em a slightly better, in-character ending, and I would have been sold.

BOOKS THAT I WAS LIKE...EH, OK

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway: a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them both, this is a game in which only one can be left standing. Despite the high stakes, Celia and Marco soon tumble headfirst into love, setting off a domino effect of dangerous consequences, and leaving the lives of everyone, from the performers to the patrons, hanging in the balance.

— I think this book was too smart for me. The prose was gorgeous, and the whole thing was very pretty and I definitely swooned when Marco said he wished for Celia. And yet. By the end I was like...eh, ok. Maybe it was the timeline? Jumping around, or how little dialogue there was. I wanted to like it all so badly, and I’m just not sure I did.

Acting on Impulse by Mia Sosa

After a very public breakup with a media-hungry politician, fitness trainer Tori Alvarez escapes to Aruba for rest, relaxation, and copious amounts of sex on the beach—the cocktail, that is. She vows to keep her vacation a man-free zone but when a cute guy is seated next to her on the plane, Tori can't resist a little harmless flirting.Hollywood heartthrob Carter Stone underwent a dramatic physical transformation for his latest role and it's clear his stunning seat mate doesn't recognize the man beneath the shaggy beard and extra lean frame. Now Carter needs help rebuilding his buff physique and Tori is perfect for the job. It doesn't hurt that she makes his pulse pound in more ways than one.Sparks are flying, until a pesky paparazzo reveals Carter's identity. Tori is hurt and pissed. She wants nothing to do with another man in the limelight, but she's still got to whip him into shape. Can Carter convince Tori he's worth the threat to her privacy that comes with dating a famous actor, or will Tori chisel him down to nothing before he even gets the chance?

— Dudes have gotta stop lying about who they are. It’s not a great trope. Other than that, the kissing was good. The romance was like...eh. I honestly don’t remember much else.

Twice in a Blue Moon by Christina Lauren

During a whirlwind two-week vacation abroad, Sam and Tate fell for each other in only the way that first loves do: sharing all of their hopes, dreams, and deepest secrets along the way. Sam was the first, and only, person that Tate—the long-lost daughter of one of the world's biggest film stars—ever revealed her identity to. So when it became clear her trust was misplaced, her world shattered for good.

Fourteen years later, Tate, now an up-and-coming actress, only thinks about her first love every once in a blue moon. When she steps onto the set of her first big break, he's the last person she expects to see. Yet here Sam is, the same charming, confident man she knew, but even more alluring than she remembered. Forced to confront the man who betrayed her, Tate must ask herself if it's possible to do the wrong thing for the right reason... and whether "once in a lifetime" can come around twice.

— This book was...weird. The early romance was wonderful and delightful, but then shit hit the fan and Sam and Tate are adults and...weird. Like, I cannot come up with another word for it. Also, they didn’t really talk much? As adults? Working on the same movie set? W e i r d.

I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella

Fixie Farr has always lived by her father’s motto: “Family first.” And since her dad passed away, leaving his charming housewares store in the hands of his wife and children, Fixie spends all her time picking up the slack from her siblings instead of striking out on her own. The way Fixie sees it, if she doesn’t take care of her father’s legacy, who will?

It’s simply not in Fixie’s nature to say no to people. So when a handsome stranger in a coffee shop asks her to watch his laptop for a moment, she not only agrees—she ends up saving it from certain disaster. To thank Fixie for her quick thinking, the computer’s owner, Sebastian, an investment manager, scribbles an IOU on a coffee sleeve and attaches his business card. Fixie laughs it off—she’d never actually claim an IOU from a stranger. Would she?

But then Fixie’s childhood crush, Ryan, comes back into her life, and his lack of a profession pushes all of Fixie’s buttons. As always, she wants nothing for herself—but she’d love Seb to give Ryan a job. No sooner has Seb agreed than the tables are turned once more and a new series of IOUs between Seb and Fixie—from small favors to life-changing moments—ensues. Soon Fixie, Ms. Fixit for everyone else, is torn between her family and the life she really wants. Does she have the courage to take a stand? Will she finally grab the life, and love, she really wants?

— Let’s be upfront, I’ve read a lot of Sophie Kinsella in my life, and more often than not I enjoy what she writes. I mostly did here. It was a book. With obvious rom com problems, that could have very easily been solved, but it wasn’t horrible. So, that was good, I guess.

The Wedding Party by Jasmine Guillory

Maddie and Theo have two things in common:

1. Alexa is their best friend

2. They hate each other

After an "oops, we made a mistake" night together, neither one can stop thinking about the other. With Alexa's wedding rapidly approaching, Maddie and Theo both share bridal party responsibilities that require more interaction with each other than they're comfortable with. Underneath the sharp barbs they toss at each other is a simmering attraction that won't fade. It builds until they find themselves sneaking off together to release some tension when Alexa isn't looking, agreeing they would end it once the wedding is over. When it's suddenly pushed up and they only have a few months left of secret rendezvouses, they find themselves regretting that the end is near. Two people this different can't possibly have a connection other than the purely physical, right?

But as with any engagement with a nemesis, there are unspoken rules that must be abided by. First and foremost, don't fall in love.

— Eh, this book happened. I still have no idea why they couldn’t be together from the get. Obstacles for the sake of plot, I guess. Also political side stories? I don’t know, guys.

WEIRD POST-ENDING FEELINGS WERE INDUCED

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast.

They're polar opposites.

In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they're living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer's block.

Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She'll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he'll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no one will fall in love. Really.

— Listen, I enjoyed this a lot. For the most part. It was funny, and introspective in a way that didn’t make me want to gag too much, and I wanted to defend January’s love of love with everything in me. But, then it—ended. And it was like...all tied up with this nice little ribbon and happily ever after, and I was like...oh, ok. Part of me that it was glad it ended like that, mostly because of who I am as a person, but the rest of me was also confused that after everything January and Augustus had been through and how messy their lives were it could just get all wrapped up in this HEA.

HITTING JUST A BIT TOO CLOSE TO HOME

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade

Marcus Caster-Rupp has a secret. The world may know him as Aeneas, star of the biggest show on television, but fanfiction readers call him something else: Book!AeneasWouldNever. Marcus gets out his frustrations with the show through anonymous stories about the internet's favorite couple, Aeneas and Lavinia. But if anyone discovered his online persona, he'd be finished in Hollywood.April Whittier has secrets of her own. A hardcore Lavinia fan, she's long hidden her fanfic and cosplay hobbies from her "real life"—but not anymore. When she dares to post her latest costume creation on Twitter, her plus-size take goes viral. And when Marcus asks her out to spite her internet critics, truth officially becomes stranger than fanfiction. On their date, Marcus quickly realizes he wants more from April than a one-time publicity stunt. But when he discovers she's Unapologetic Lavinia Stan, his closest fandom friend, he has one more huge secret to keep from her.With love and Marcus's career on the line, can the two of them stop hiding once and for all, or will a match made in fandom end up prematurely cancelled?

— Here for plus-size heroines who get the guy and don’t have their (entire) storyline defined by their looks. Less here for the weird fandom culture, the ensuing second-hand embarrassment that came from that and the thankfulness that both Colin O’Donoghue and Bob Morley appear to be happily married so it seems very unlikely they’re writing fic about their characters under pseudonyms. Stop using Ao3 in actual published stories 2k4ever.

RAGE-INDUCING BOOKS OF ABSOLUTE FURY

The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

Kristen Peterson doesn't do drama, will fight to the death for her friends, and has no room in her life for guys who just don't get her. She's also keeping a big secret: facing a medically necessary procedure that will make it impossible for her to have children.Planning her best friend's wedding is bittersweet for Kristen — especially when she meets the best man, Josh Copeland. He's funny, sexy, never offended by her mile-wide streak of sarcasm, and always one chicken enchilada ahead of her hangry. Even her dog, Stuntman Mike, adores him. The only catch: Josh wants a big family someday. Kristen knows he'd be better off with someone else, but as their attraction grows, it's harder and harder to keep him at arm's length.The Friend Zone will have you laughing one moment and grabbing for tissues the next as it tackles the realities of infertility and loss with wit, heart, and a lot of sass.

— LISTEN THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE, BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEM BECAUSE THIS BOOK IS A SECRET GUT PUNCH AND PEOPLE SHOULD BE AWARE. Not only is infertility, like, the defining theme of this book, but the BEST FRIEND DIES. Just—dies. It’s horrible. Absolutely God awful depressing. And for a second he looks like he won’t, and it’ll be fine, but then it is not and he’s just D E A D. I know, I know that sets up the sequel, but this was so goddamn heavy in an unsuspecting way that I have absolutely no intention of reading the next one.

Well Met by Jen DeLuca

Emily knew there would be strings attached when she relocated to the small town of Willow Creek, Maryland, for the summer to help her sister recover from an accident, but who could anticipate getting roped into volunteering for the local Renaissance Faire alongside her teenaged niece? Or that the irritating and inscrutable schoolteacher in charge of the volunteers would be so annoying that she finds it impossible to stop thinking about him?

The faire is Simon's family legacy and from the start he makes clear he doesn't have time for Emily's lighthearted approach to life, her oddball Shakespeare conspiracy theories, or her endless suggestions for new acts to shake things up. Yet on the faire grounds he becomes a different person, flirting freely with Emily when she's in her revealing wench's costume. But is this attraction real, or just part of the characters they're portraying?

This summer was only ever supposed to be a pit stop on the way to somewhere else for Emily, but soon she can't seem to shake the fantasy of establishing something more with Simon or a permanent home of her own in Willow Creek.

— FUCK THIS BOOK. And fuck Simon, specifically. Oh, you have a sad story? Cool, you’re still a dick. He was a dick. Listen, I know enemies to lovers is a hard trope to write, but it’s even harder to accept when those enemies just announce I LIKED YOU THE WHOLE TIME and then everyone starts ripping off their clothes. No, it’s dumb. I hate it. Apparently there’s a sequel to this book. Maybe that’s better.

Kiss My Cupcake by Helena Hunting

Blaire Calloway has planned every Instagram-worthy moment of her cupcake and cocktails shop launch down to the tiniest detail. What she didn't plan on? Ronan Knight and his old-school sports bar next door opening on the very same day. He may be super swoony, but Blaire hasn't spent years obsessing over buttercream and bourbon to have him ruin her chance at success.From axe throwing (his place) to frosting contests (hers), Blaire and Ronan are constantly trying to one-up each other in a battle to win new customers. But with every clash, there's also an undeniable chemistry. When an even bigger threat to their business comes to town, they're forced to call a temporary time-out on their own war and work together. And the more time Blaire spends getting to know the real Ronan, the more she wonders if it's possible to have her cupcake and eat it too.

— Listen, I wanted to like this one. There were plenty other Helena Hunting books on this list, so like—I don’t hate her. I just hate poorly executed enemies to lovers plot lines. Give me at least one moment where they are interested in each other aside from just being attracted to each other. Also: Stop Having Dudes Be Dicks Because Of Their Sad Backstory 2k4ever.

Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane

You always remember your first love... don't you?If there's anything worse than being fired from the worst restaurant in town, it's coming home early to find your boyfriend in bed with someone else. Reeling from the humiliation of a double dumping in one day, Georgina takes the next job that comes her way—bartender in a newly opened pub. There's only one problem: it's run by the guy she fell in love with years ago. And—make that two problems—he doesn't remember her. At all. But she has fabulous friends and her signature hot pink fur coat... what more could a girl really need?Lucas McCarthy has not only grown into a broodingly handsome man, but he's also turned into an actual grown-up, with a thriving business and a dog along the way. Crossing paths with him again throws Georgina's rocky present into sharp relief—and brings a secret from her past bubbling to the surface. Only she knows what happened twelve years ago, and why she's allowed the memories to chase her ever since. But maybe it's not too late for the truth... or a second chance with the one that got away?

— HE WAS JUST PRETENDING NOT TO REMEMBER HER THE WHOLE TIME???? WHAT?? WHY??? D U M B. Dumb boys are dumb.

Not the Girl You Marry by Andie J. Christopher

Jack Nolan is a gentleman, a journalist, and unlucky in love. His viral success has pigeon-holed him as the how-to guy for a buzzy, internet media company instead of covering hard-hitting politics. Fed up with his fluffy articles and the app-based dating scene as well, he strikes a deal with his boss to write a final piece de resistance: How to Lose a Girl. Easier said than done when the girl he meets is Hannah Mayfield, and he's not sure he wants her to dump him.

Hannah is an extremely successful event planner who's focused on climbing the career ladder. Her firm is one of the most prestigious in the city, and she's determined to secure her next promotion. But Hannah has a bit of an image problem. She needs to show her boss that she has range, including planning dreaded, romantic weddings. Enter Jack. He's the perfect man to date for a couple weeks to prove to her boss that she's not scared of feelings.

Before Jack and Hannah know it, their fake relationship starts to feel all too real—and neither of them can stand to lose each other.

— This is actually the prequel to Not That Kind of Guy and I honestly can’t believe I read that after hating this book so much. They were awful to each other! Their whole relationship was based on lies! Mean lies! Horrible lies! Don’t lie to your significant other!

Mousie’s New and Improved Top 20 Cdramas List

Because why not. These are ordered in terms of being my favorite as opposed to pure quality - if I was trying to be objective, it would probably be rearranged, but I like being petty and subjective.

You will notice that literally every drama on this list is a period drama. Much as I adore period cdramas, contemporary ones rarely work for me.  

20. Princess Agents (tie)

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll6x8zf2CnQ

Our heroine is a slave in a brutal society who becomes a feared general, fighting for freedom and love of a Yan prince. But her heart might actually lie with a seemingly cold adversary who is madly in love with her (I shipped them so hard!) I was one of five people who loved the infamous cliffhanger ending because it made a brutal kind of sense (You can read the novel if you want a different resolution.)

20. Tribes and Empires (tie)

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyRsPAGUz-Q

This one has a hell of an open ending, but it’s so gorgeous and epic, I don’t even care. Set in a fantasy empire, it follows three men - a half-human prince, a cursed son of a general, and an orphaned leader of a barbarian tribe. A feast for the eyes.

19. Ice Fantasy

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C05lhfrWgQg

A visually stunning high fantasy with elves, quests, a shockingly wonderful hero, brotherly love, toughest lady general ever as OTP and basically everything I like.

18. The General and I

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XDR17kwXYM

The lengthy OTP separation brings its place in this list down, but otherwise a gorgeous romance between two enemies - a general and a female strategist, is a total swoon and so intense. 

17. Three Kingdoms 2010

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3RVpdYDpYA

This one is a magnum opus of 100 episodes, with a tour de force performance by Chen Jian Bin as Cao Cao. Battles, politics, and even though it’s very secondary, one of my favorite love stories in cdramas. This one is if you want to use your brain as well as your heart.

16. Colourful Bone 

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4O5yb3VBh4

It probably doesn’t deserve to be this high on the list but it hits all my narrative and shippy kinks with a common-sense heroine taking in an abused and mistreated death machine and teaching him to be human. Mmmm.

15. Young Warriors 

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO83qvKaoSM

What do you get when you have seven awesome heroic brothers, a star-studded cast, tragic stories about heroism and love and just amazingness? You get this drama. 

14. Strange Hero Yi Zi Mei

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFVDAuFOyWE

Band of misfits fight corruption and uncover mysteries. This one is the most underrated drama on my list. Also, Wallace Huo has never been hotter in his life and that is saying something.

13. The Battle of Changsha 

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbgFMaUfpnE

By the same people who wrote Minglan, this follows a family in 1930s China and is a quiet, devastating masterpiece.

12. Prince of Lan Ling

MV (warning - spoilery): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jUVGP0HETo

He’s the consummate battle god. She is a mystical shaman. He is fated to be with someone else per prophecy but he doesn’t care and chooses her. True love, politics, battles, jealousy, amazingness, tragedy. I love them so. 

11. Gong/Jade Palace Lock Heart

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVFPVkHaweo

This is Boys over Flowers goes Qing (where Domyoji’s behavior finally makes sense since he’s a literal prince and Rui likes to kill people.) This is such a amazing good fun, about a modern woman time traveling to the time of the fight for the throne between Kangxi’s sons. She thinks she likes the seemingly gentle Four but ends up with hot-blooded, awesome Eight. She herself is tough as all get out and this is pure deliciousness from beginning to end. Yang Mi and Feng Shao Feng had such amazing chemistry, people RPShipped them for years. 

10. Return of the Condor Heroes 2006

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzXsBqVYp0I

My first cdrama ever, and what a gorgeous one it was. That’s what got me into cdramas. The childhood eps are pretty awful but after that, it’s pure shippy perfection with an incredible OTP. If you want to be in a constant romantic swoon, in that story of female master and her male disciple and their forbidden love, this one is for you.

9. Eternal Love/Three Lives Three Worlds Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9-ry-W4Crg

Fated immortal lovers, reincarnations, the whole enchilada. Yang Mi and Mark Chao have insane chemistry that burns up the screen. The first few eps are slow, but it makes up for it afterwards.

8. Legend of Fuyao

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkMX1d0v7t0

A twisty epic romance with a super-powered heroine who is plain awesome and may destroy the world, and a smart, ruthless prince who’s only soft for her. I love it so much!

7. Legend of Condor Heroes 2008

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2fea109_qM

Plot twists, good guy hero with a mega smart OTP, tragic anti-hero who becomes a villain for a while with an amazing OTP, bromance, fights, everything. I just adore this one. 

6. Bu Bu Jing Xin/Startling By Each Step

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9B3Rddrqt0

The one that started the time-travel craze (well, that and Gong), about a modern woman who time travels to the time of Emperor Kangxi’s sons’ fight for the throne, this is a gorgeously filmed tragic love story, with one of the most perfectly brutal endings out there. I adore it.

5. Nirvana in Fire

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4wps7SK9xo

This is a smart story about politics and revenge, where a survivor of a wrongly destroyed family comes to get justice. Seemingly laid back until it explodes. Not much romance but it doesn’t even need it. 

4. Rise of the Phoenixes 

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0BUvMKSj4E

Like the dramas to destroy you? Come right in. A story about a disfavored prince and a lost daughter of a previous dynasty, this is smart, gorgeous, and is going to wreck you.

3. Ever Night (s1)

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x99seU5qJuc

I have talked enough about it recently so I won’t say much more, but if you want epic, movie-like quality, characters you will love, amazing battles and cinematography, complicated world-building and an OTP to die for, come right in.

2. The Myth 

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rfyfKM_Ww0

For the longest time, this was my favorite cdrama, to be replaced only by Minglan. It starts out funny and ends up tearing out your heart. This is the only time in my drama watching experience I cried so hard I threw up. The story is about two accidental time-travelers - a photographer and a cook - who end up in Qin Dynasty China. And from then on it’s about how that cruel, horrifying world takes two perfectly normal men and by wracking their very souls turns one into a hero and the other into a monster. To me, this is Hu Ge’s best performance and as you see his protagonist desperately try to hold on to his humanity and his love in a world that is doing its best to destroy it, I dare you not to cry like a baby. His character is my ultimate cdrama crush.   

1. The Story of Minglan

MV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA7m2QktiUk

Aaaaaand, my n1. cdrama is the amazing, too short at 73 eps, The Story of Minglan. It is very hard to describe the plot of this - a sort of Elizabeth Gaskell meets period China. It follows three interconnected upper-class families, but more specifically, it is about Shen Minglan, a concubine-born daughter of a minister and Gu Tingye, the oldest, legitimate, and hated by his family son of a Marquess. Their narratives run largely parallel for the first half of the story and such is the genius of this drama that I, the ultimate romance junkie, did not mind that. Minglan is a rarity in dramaworld - she is fiercely smart, very collected and emotionally detached. Life in the troubled Shen household taught her to survive and to hide her feelings and talents. Tingye is a big cdrama love. Abused and reviled by his household where he can do no right (the Marquess hated having to marry his merchant mother for money and has displaced that hate on her son), Tingye manages to keep his warm heart but acquires the ability to go his own way. Both of the protagonists are wonderful and smart and magnetic and rootable for separately, but when they get together, the sparks go off the charts and they become my n1 cdrama OTP of all time. A lot of the story is about family battles, women’s world dilemmas and relationship (of all sorts) interactions. There is also politics and battles, but the true charm of this drama are the mundane details of the world and the fully-fleshed out people who inhabit it. If you watch only one cdrama in your life, make it this one.     

That’s very relatable, I’m kind of in the same boat so I get what you mean lol. Also Good morning!

Box stuff:

1. I love that as well, and when Luke’s room is particularly bad. Emily will call Alex up (the Mercers had a household phone just because) and would hope that he was around to answer it so she could ask him to clean Luke’s room.

I love that Alex just casual knows where the cleaning supplies are. Maybe that’s something that Emily and Alex do together on a random Sunday or something, they just make food together and then clean up the house.

Oh yes, sometimes Reggie will join Alex in cleaning due to a particular bad fight. Maybe that’s how the boys know that Reggie’s parents had a bad fight because Reggie won’t tell them due to the fact that he doesn’t want to bother them. But due to him cleaning they just know (also the fact that he can’t lie to them). Exactly yes! Just as you said (I hadn’t finished reading the paragraph when I said my part lol)

Yes exactly as you put it, they just go up to his room just to think about when he was still alive and how him and the boys were safe there. Oh my goodness, yes they talk to him but just like with Bobby, they can’t get a sign so they don’t know that Luke has words he never said and that he regrets that he didn’t get a chance to say them.

Yes, and Emily will always regret that she didn’t put as much support into the band as she should’ve because now she can’t take back her yelling at him to do more work and or to quit the band because education is so much more important; that he will never be able to go far with the band. So I’m listening to music and right now the song is ‘Supermarket flowers by Ed Sheeran’ and if you change around some lyrics it could be something that is Emily to Luke. (Kind of how unsaid Emily is for Emily)

3. Exactly, it’s like I somehow reached the conclusion but I have no clue how to explain to you the processes but it’s edible so.

The boys are always in awe because Alex talks while he bakes so randomly he will say something like ‘fold the flour well what if I just don’t’ ‘how is this the recipe book it gives me no instructions I need like an in-depth explanation on what the heck this means’. And then the food tastes amazing, although they once thought that Alex was just not going to include the flour (also that he was going to give them salmonella by not cooking it)

Board games and jam

1. Alex is never running out of drumsticks is hilarious. Also just love the fact that this goes on for half an hour before he stops and then once Luke has been situated and isn’t expecting Alex to throw drumstick, he throws one more.

I love that, just Reggie being so competitive when it’s legitimately Alex sneezing because he needed to sneeze. Also the fact that Alex is ready to throw drumsticks at Reggie as well. Honestly at some point Alex has thrown drumsticks at everyone (even Caleb).

Among us

It definitely would, like Luke can’t do it for anyone else but the second Alex is imposter he’s just like I know who it is.

Basically this meme: (Luke is the one saying that he has connected the dots)

Yes, however once Willie did kill Alex just to throw people off of his tail. And yes, Julie will always kill Luke first and if someone else is the imposter they will try to do the same just so people think the Julie is the imposter.

I love the accessories addition, definitely needed

Luke and Julie- yes

Willie- that is a power move and I love it

Alex- yes

Reggie- I do agree however at the same time I raise the cowboy hat

Flynn- honestly the fact that Flynn paid money to get a little character is everything and totally something that she would do.

Also if Carlos is playing then he has the paper bag

Honestly the boys thought that monopoly couldn’t get more chaotic and then they played it with Willie and Flynn and they were like this is new level. Because Flynn is competitive and she is definitely the one who would double check the rules and call out any of them if they got something wrong.

I love that Alex will just give Willie money. ‘I have no clue what you guys are talking about. Willie just has money because you guys are bad’

Despite the fact I have played Monopoly I legitimately cannot tell you what cards Flynn has that make her better than everyone else but you are completely correct. (Get out of jail for free? possibly) Also just has really good luck at picking out chance cards (maybe one of the ones in the middle idk)

Honestly I was kind of thinking that Luke would jump the table when Alex said that he wasn’t giving Willie money and that they were just bad. But I love your addition so much.

I love the fact that Reggie wouldn’t speak to Luke for a week when Luke just can’t avoid talking to them for about 2 hours. (Also Luke does the same to Reggie that they would do to Alex and Jess is in the background of everywhere with puppy dog eyes because Reggie won’t give him attention)

Numbers

2. I love this so much. Alex looks hurt about the fact that Willie is laughing however at the same time he loves his laugh. So Alex is stuck between because upset that Willie is laughing at him and the fact that Willie is laughing.

I’m glad that it changes as the story goes on, honestly right now I’m just not the biggest fan of Arthur. (I will definitely keep you informed, I’m glad that you said this because I didn’t want to over impose) Currently haven’t watched another episode so I’m still on the first one for now.

Wait yes! That is total Alex energy, also just Alex being done with Luke all the time. Just can’t believe that this is the guy he has to protect.

6. I mean Alex didn’t function after the hair flip in the show so if Bobby had been there then maybe Alex would’ve been able to function better 😂. Also yes exactly, just slaps the back of Alex’s head just so Alex will have a normal conversation with Willie and not just them staring at each other.

I mean I know you have four requests but I’m in fully support if you do want to write that after 😂. Also love how they don’t explain anything just very straight to the point and say that he shouldn’t steal their music.

8. Honestly relatable, I can’t wait for your tangent when it’s not 1am.

10. Yes exactly. Reggie is a tiny bit upset but then he’s like ‘I’m not even the one who did the developing, Bobby is and seeing as which we are kind of mad at him that’s good’. Oh my goodness, just happy Reggie staring starstruck at pictures because of how defined they are.

Alex knows that’s what Reggie is doing but of course he’s going to humour him and make the food.

11. I can’t believe you just pulled out the fact that no adult believed Reggie as a kid and you compared it to Reggie meeting a lot of celebrities. Whoa, you’re completely correct but whoa that’s painful. Yes, he has met all of them (oo nice, which Billy Joel one?). Also Luke is hurt about the fact that Reggie met him but Luke wasn’t there. To add on, Reggie has met Prince, Elton John, and Michael Jackson.

17. No, You shouldn’t go back on that, Reggie definitely has Caleb‘s baby picture like legitimately he has everyone’s baby picture even Nick.

I love that addition like Caleb tried to steal their soul but Reggie just asked for him to give Reggie his baby pictures before they poof out to do stand tall. Then next time they see each other Caleb just hands them over.

Yes, that was exactly my thought process also your addition that Caleb is mean but he isn’t stupid, about the fact that Reggie is sweet is precisely that interaction. (I mean Caleb probably saw Reggie get upset over the fact that Han Solo died and was just like Reggie is a precious being must protect. I mean take his soul but protect.)

Nope she just handed them over, just as you said. Honestly Reggie could take over the world and no one would question it just because it’s Reggie. ‘probably priceless photos and they are in some ghost scrapbook’ is the greatest comment.

Exactly yes, honestly it doesn’t matter how the hot dog is involved in the picture but there has to be one baby photo of Willie that includes him in the presence of a hotdog.

19. Agreed, usually by the point that Willie and Alex’s alliance is over. Than Alex will start one with Luke, and they will just bombard Willie with snowballs. (Just because I want Julie and Willie to be friends maybe they start an alliance just to get back at Alex and Luke) (also for Reggie he has one with Carlos)

20. They are and we did get very luck with this cast. Because no matter who you look at, they all have such great chemistry with each other and work so well with each other. For example the band demonstrate such a wonderful friendship, as do Flynn and Julie. Just flawless performances all around.

Honestly I’ve seen those as well and it just makes me upset because the show legitimately shows and has Willie say that he had no idea that Caleb was going to give them the stamps. Like he wouldn’t say that, if it didn’t actually happen. Because, if he had done it in front of Alex then it possibly could be spun in the way that he was just trying to fake out Alex (lack of better word) but he did it alone with Caleb, demonstrating that he did not know what was going to happen.

Honestly same, I just want good Caleb who adopts Alex/takes Alex under his wing. Yes! I’ve also seen theories where Caleb is actually working for someone and it isn’t entirely him who is trying to take their souls (however I think that yours is much better and I actually feel like it’s a good way for the show to not have so many villains you know. Also in general your idea was well articulated and eloquently put)

Oh my goodness, Caleb only using his power for people who hurt Willie and Alex is everything. (Also adding Reggie to that mix because)

Understandable honestly Luke and Flynn would be such a power duo and anyone who made Julie upset would need to run for their life. (Also I am totally here for another tangent, I would love to see your thoughts). And yes them arguing over who loves Julie more and somehow this gets finished because Alex randomly appears and says that he and Reggie loves Julie the most.

21. So how Alex gets arrested, I was legitimately going to send to you in another ask but then forgot so here it is. Basically they are at pride and just a lot of bad things are said so Alex punches a cop and hence him being arrested.

Also I love that either Alex vandalizing some thing or arson is your first theory. Honestly I feel like it’s Luke and Reggie who would be the reason for arson and Alex and Bobby just getting dragged along. Also you’re completely right, going on with that, one day they did graffiti of the Sunset Curve logo. Also I love how after all of this the one thing he gets nervous about is a closed museum with no one there.

25. Honestly Alex and Carries friendship would be unbeatable. Also Carrie alongside Luke and Reggie would definitely give Willie a shovel talk, just have to say.

You’re absolutely correct, honestly I feel like they would have such a better friendship than a dating relationship. (honestly it would be hilarious if it was Carrie who found out that Nick was possessed)

26. Honestly anything Willie, I just need and another hair flip is top of the list. What if Willie knows that Alex is short-circuiting around him and purposely does these things just so he can see Alex flustered. Also swimmer Willie is needed. And Willie twirling Alex’s hair is everything and I want that for S2. (Also at some point Alex braiding Willie’s hair)

32. Honestly anyone giving them stickers is completely true. Also yes, The person who gave Reggie the stickers was the park ranger. Who helped him locate the rest of the band because Reggie had wandered off

35. That is sad, also yes. Just Ray calling them his angels would be everything, also just more Reggie and Ray general.

I’m glad, mostly because ghost taking pictures for other ghost to be seen. Kind of isn’t logical but I just want Reggie to be able to take pictures of Willie. (Also the rest of the band as well)

37. Oh my goodness, that is a rollercoaster to read. Also agreed, Reggie just had no clue how to work the washing machine. He just had lights and darks all together and to this day Luke and Alex are very concerned on how Reggie turn some thing that was black into a like horrible red colour. Also yes, everyone was freaking out about how Luke could possibly set something on fire and how this happened in the two minutes that someone wasn’t watching him.

39. Yea, Ray and Trevor being friends would be so cool. Also agreed, since Julie and Carrie were close then they were kind of close as well so once Julie and Carrie fell apart then they just stopped being friends as well.

Agreed, also seeing Reggie has the Queen‘s baby photos with no content is hilarious. (Also possibly could be how Julie reacts when she randomly see the pictures)

Good morning/afternoon/night for whatever time it is when you read this! :)))

Box stuff (which is somehow not about boxes anymore idk how we got here lmfao):

1. Yes I love that! Maybe when she and Luke argue he gets like. Really mad. So he storms off up to his room and if he’s in a really bad temper he does Classic Teenage Boy Angsty Stuff and knocks things over and messes up his room. So Emily calls Alex to A) sort Luke’s room out because there’s no way he’d let her in there to help right then and B) to calm him down

Omggg I love that so much, like mother-son-bonding time between Alex and Emily 🥺 I imagine it like you said, they make food and then clean, and they’re basically just talking the entire time as if they’re close friends or really mother and son - like Alex will tell Emily about school and any drama that’s going on at the time, or he’ll complain about someone being nasty to him, and Emily will tell him stories from when she was younger or “you’ll never believe what Helen from down the road has been up to!” And they’re super close and know pretty much everything about each other omg yes

Omg omg ok now you’ve said that - back to the AU where they could give Bobby a sign and then still join Julie, what if they had the choice of people to give a sign? Like they could have chosen Bobby, Luke’s parents, Alex’s parents, Reggie’s parents, or any other people they were close (or not close) to. But they could only choose one for whatever reason and they all had to pick the same one, so they’re between Bobby and Luke’s parents and they can’t make a decision because either way someone is going to miss out on hearing from the boys ever again and it breaks their hearts either way

Ok so I listened to the song and first of all ouch. I think I remembering hearing it like a few years ago but it hits different now. And I can totally see it being about that if the lyrics are switched around and it hurts. But also I couldn’t help thinking of how perfectly it fits Julie (won’t lie, I was/am literally sobbing while thinking about this) so that made me think that after Unsaid Emily happens Julie and actually goes back and she and Emily become really close (we might have already said this? Idk there’s been so many posts now 😂) and this song is playing on the radio one day and they listen and they share their grief with each other and it’s beautiful and emotional and then Julie learns the song and I’m gonna stop before I make myself cry again

3. Lmaoooo thats amazing I love it. Alex talking to himself while baking is everything. And he sometimes straight up ignores the recipe book kind of like you said he’ll be reading it then just go “that doesn’t make any sense and it won’t work so bye bye Mr Recipe Book I think I can do this myself” and he literally just chucks it across the room and Luke and Reggie just look at each other like Oh God.

Board games and jam:

1. Omg yes exactly. Luke finally isn’t on edge anymore and he relaxes but Alex is just like bitch you thought and throws one and it strikes him right in the middle of the forehead

Alex’s weapon of choice is his drumsticks. Reggie accuses him of being suspicious and Alex just readies the sticks slowly and Reggie hides behind Julie apologising over and over again bc he saw what happened to Luke and is slightly scared of Alex now. Him using them on Caleb has me screaming I love that so much - it’s just like Caleb being in the middle of an evil speech all like “I will have your souls if it’s the last thing I do” and then just gets hit in the face by a drumstick. The camera pans round and we just see Alex getting ready to throw another like a dart.

Among Us

Yes omg that’s perfect lmao, and if Luke says it’s Alex everyone votes for him without questioning it so Alex spends the rest of his time as a ghost just terrorising Luke and not bothering to sabotage anyone or anything else

YES the one time Willie did kill Alex, Alex got really offended and wouldn’t speak to him for an entire day so Willie vowed never to do it again. Also I love how that means that no matter who’s the imposter Luke is the first to die - he’s terrible at imposter because people know that if he isn’t the first out then he’s the one doing the killing

Accessories - I FORGOT THERE WAS A COWBOY HAT yes omg you’re right that’s Reggie’s. And Carlos would definitely have the paper bag - he thinks it makes him look sneaky and he loves it

Flynn being competitive is everything - she gets loud and angry if she thinks a rule has been broken, literally she’ll snatch the rules from Alex and point them out to show she’s right. If a decision is taking too long to be reached she’ll just roll her eyes and take the money and give it to whoever she thinks is right. Alex just looks around like “I’m pretty sure this is my job??” but Flynn’s just like “don’t care, let’s get on with this.”

And I love that absjdldl like

Alex: Willie won his ten thousand dollars fair and square.

Flynn: Prove it.

Alex: No.

Yeah same lmao it’s been years since I played monopoly because it just causes arguments between me and my sisters but I think you’re right about the cards?? I honestly don’t know, but Flynn does and she’s great at magically choosing good ones lol. She just has a stash of get out of jail free cards (Alex: Are you sure there’s really that many of those in the deck? Flynn: *hiding literally hundreds of get out of jail free cards behind her back* Excuse me, are you accusing me of cheating?)

Yessss lmao like Reggie is doing his best to avoid him but whenever he like opens a door or something Luke is on the other side like 🥺 and so Reggie just shuts the door in his face and walks away again

Numbers:

2. Awww wait that’s adorable, like Alex trying to stay furious but Willie laughing just makes him unable to stay angry so he tries to look angry but it’s obvious that he isn’t and the whole effect is ruined but he still makes Reggie and Luke get him a new hoodie or at least fix the old one

Yay, great!! I didn’t like Arthur to begin with either but he’s one of my favourites now. Maybe he’ll grow on you like he did for me :)

Exactly lmao like Luke is about to do something dumb and call himself a hero meanwhile Alex is in the background working his magic to save his life like “I couldn’t have got a less stupid prince to be forever connected to huh?”

6. I love that, just Alex so entranced and literally breaking inside because omg cute boy hair flip omg help but Bobby just nudges him and he’s like oh yeah I’m in front of my friends I’ve gotta seem cool (even though they definitely know he isn’t) or if he’s really stuck then yep the slap does the trick and Alex is a little more annoyed but at least he isn’t just gawking at Willie 😂

Literally they’re just like “bro we know what you’re thinking. Don’t you dare. Literally we’ll be back in 25 years don’t worry”. And honestly I really might write it after I’ve done everything else or maybe I’ll save it until I officially finish school so I can focus on it completely bc honestly if I do it I want it to be the best it can it deserves it 😂

8. Ok so this goddamn tangent omg. It also works perfectly for Julie and the Phantoms but I’m going to focus on Sunset Curve bc like you said Bobby being lost without them it’s just like yeah ok.

They are literally the perfect recipe for a band or even just a group of friends. You’re so right that their strengths compliment each other because they’re all good at different things and they all bring so much to each other.

Luke - within the band, he’s their lead singer, their frontman, kind of the main attraction. His strengths lie in writing, singing, and guitar and that’s what he’s got the most control over in the band. He makes sure they have great material so they can sound amazing. Within their friend group, his strengths are mainly with building the others up, encouraging them and believing in them (see the whole “we’re the only family we’re ever gonna need” and “Alex you’re a great drummer and a great guy” and “dude you’re like a human wrecking ball” etc). He knows how to make his boys happier and he only ever sees the best in them. He’s protective and kind and a lot of other things too, but he’s best at being positive.

Reggie - within the band, Reggie obviously plays bass and does backing vocals. I can’t stress how underrated he is - it’s hard to hear the bassline a lot of the time but it’s the sort of thing you’d still notice if it wasn’t there. He’s an integral part of the band and it wouldn’t be the same without him. Also I’ve made a post about this in the past but his vocal range is insane. The guy can sing. His backing vocals honestly are so amazing (especially Finally Free (and obviously Now or Never and Stand Tall solos)) and he deserves more credit. Not only that but his stage presence is phenomenal. In every performance he is so into it, way more than everyone else. He bounces around, he interacts with the audience, he spins and jumps and one minutes he’s on one side of the stage and the next he’s on the other. Reggie provides the show, he hypes up the audience, he ensures everyone is having a good time because HE is having a good time. In the friend group, he serves to make people happy in a different way to Luke. He’s a literal ray of sunshine, he cracks jokes, he smiles, he gets rid of bad feelings before his friends have a chance to feel them. He provides the joy and the distraction.

Alex - the drummer is such an important part of any band. He keeps time and they would literally fall apart without him. He’s at risk of being overlooked a lot because he’s at the back of the stage and can’t move, but he’s so passionate about it all that he still captivates peoples attention. Still he is more of a background part, but like with Reggie it would be obvious if he was missing. As part of the friend group, Alex is the most sensible. Yeah, he still lets them do dumb shit and he joins in, 100% but he stops them from going too far. He makes sure everyone is safe and is the one to stop bad decisions being made. Alex provides safety and comfort and is there for protection.

Bobby - as a rhythm guitarist he is also another really important part that goes overlooked as well. We don’t get to see him play much in the show so it’s hard to say too much about his role in the band as a whole, but he does add that extra little something - sure, they could probably have the band without him, but it wouldn’t be the same. There would be something missing or not quite right, a gap that would need filling because it wouldn’t have that complete, full sound. As we’ve discussed before, Bobby is like the group’s counsellor. He’s there to listen to their problems, to help them through it, to listen and understand what they’re going through. Bobby provides a listening ear and somebody to talk to when things are difficult.

So all their strengths match because they’re all different and they all pull together to make one functioning band.

But then when three of them are gone, Bobby is left all alone. He doesn’t have Luke there anymore he reassure him and tell him everything is going to be fine and that he’s strong enough to get through it; he doesn’t have Reggie there to say something - anything - and make him smile just for the sake of smiling; he doesn’t have Alex there to stop him from doing something stupid (like stealing their music or doing any number of reckless things he could have done over the years); and he can’t take his own advice and move on without all of them there to help him through it. It could have been any member of Sunset Curve who was left behind that night, but no matter what they would have fallen apart because all they ever needed was each other and without that they lose all ability to function.

11. Lmao yes he managed to meet a load of celebrities because he would go to a lot of concerts and meet them but he just wouldn’t think to explain that when he told people so they didn’t think he was telling the truth

(And the Billy Joel concert was at Shea Stadium which according to Google actually took place in 2008 but it was really really good)

17. Lmao he definitely has Nick’s baby pictures. When they eventually find out that Caleb is possessing Nick, Reggie dedicates a page to Nick in his Caleb scrapbook because technically they were the same person for a while and that’s where the baby photos go

Yessssss that’s brilliant. The real reason Reggie doesn’t get to Stand Tall until after Alex is because he tugged on Caleb’s sleeve first and was like “real quick I need your baby photos. You can give them to me whenever” then he poofs out. He has his priorities in order

lol yes “take his soul but protect” is perfect. And like kinda the same for all of them? I do desperately want Caleb to end up good because like you just know that he would do anything to keep Alex, Reggie, Luke, Willie, and probably Julie (he’d really respect her because of her power and also everyone loves Julie) happy

Literally, Reggie could walk into the White House and ask to be president and anyone except Trump would be out of their chair in an instant like yes sir you run the country now thank you. He could announce his plans for world domination and all the leaders of other countries would just be like “sounds like a good plan boss”

19. I love that, like the alliances start as Alex and Willie, Reggie and Luke, Julie and Carlos but over time Alex and Willie turn on each other and use any opportunity for attack, Reggie and Luke start arguing because one of them accidentally got the other, and right from the start Carlos is pelting Julie with snowballs over and over again so they very quickly divide into the absolutely perfect dream teams you said!!

20. Exactly!! Like I don’t watch all the behind the scenes and the only time I really find anything out about the cast is scrolling through Instagram every other day or on here, but still everything I’ve seen of them together shows that they’re basically a little family. And like you said they all have so much chemistry on screen, their dynamics are so beautifully built and the best part is that there are not bad actors! I won’t lie, like there’s time from all of them when the acting isn’t perfect but that’s the same with any actor or actress and overall they do incredibly

!!!!!!!! Exactly!!!!!! You’re so right, and anyone who is against Willie is A) probably racist and B) completely ignoring what happens on screen even though it’s all obvious and they’re literally just choosing to believe he’s a bad guy smh

Thank you!! I’ve seen those theories too and I do like them but I just don’t think Caleb would be so into the whole soul-stealing thing if it was for somebody else and not for him which is why I think it’d be better if he turned nice (or turned nice, completed his unfinished business, handed over the HGC to Willie and crossed over). And yeah like you said I think once you add Caleb’s boss that’s just too many evil people. Id rather give everyone whos meant to be an antagonist (Caleb, Carrie, Trevor) character development or redemption arcs than add yet another villain

Oh yes definitely add Reggie to that list!!!

Honestly the Luke and Flynn friendship might deserve a post of its own 😂 I’ve already done one long tangent and I think this could be longer so I might do the whole thing separately lmao. but YES lmao if you mess with Julie you’d better watch out bc Flynn and Luke would be on their way with weapons. Alex solving the argument like that is everything lmaooo

21. OMG yes you’re so right. Let Alex Mercer Punch Cops 2k21!!!!! 100% that is what happens, absolutely no argument there

Ajsbdkskd yeah I love that for me, Alex gets in trouble so it must be arson. But yeah I actually like yours better, Reggie and Luke would be the ones to casually set stuff on fire. I feel like Alex would try to put it out but accidentally make it worse and Bobby would just be watching and quietly enjoying himself thinking the entire thing is hilarious. Yessss omg Sunset Curve graffiti all over Hollywood with the caption “Tell Your Friends” and it ends up being how they get most of their recognition and sell tickets to gigs and stuff. And yeah lmao plus he’s invisible he literally can’t be caught 😂😂

25. Oh yeah Carrie would be the first to do it like even though she can’t see Willie she’d be all up in his face laying down the rules

Right??? Their friendship has so much potential and way better than romantic (and that’s not just because I think Carrie is a lesbian, although she definitely is and that’s definitely a part of it lmfao). Honestly Carrie figuring out Nick being Caleb would really be glorious. Like, she asks him again to get back together with her but he has said no so many times by now that’s she’s expecting him to say no again, but Caleb thinks it could be a way to get Julie jealous and aid his plan so he says yes and Carrie is immediately like nope something is off.

26. He so would. He’d have a mental list of everything that makes Alex lose his mind and he’d make sure to do everything on it at least once a day

32. Wait that’s so cute 🥺😂 Reggie just getting distracted and wandering away and the park ranger being like ok first here have a sticker and second let’s go find your friends. Reggie immediately befriends the park ranger and makes sure to come back with a batch of cookies Alex made as a thank you bc he would not have made it out of there if the ranger hadn’t found him

37. Yeah lmao Reggie tried his hardest but just. Failed miserably. Lmao I love that detail of him completely changing somethings colour and Alex and Luke just being like wtf how did you do that. In the two minutes someone wasn’t watching him Luke managed to put his arm in a candle. Candles are now banned from the studio. Lmao if it happened while they were ghosts then Julie and Alex and Reggie would have just been talking then they’d hear a panicked “JULIE HELP” and turn round to see Luke on fire

Lmao Julie sees the queen’s baby photos and is like “why do you have some random old baby in this scrapbook?” and Reggie is just like “oh that’s the queen” and Julie is the first person who’s ever believed him without an explanation

Psycho Analysis: Yzma

I feel like there’s no sense in introducing this one. You know her. I’ve seen all the gif sets, the quotes, the images, the memes… it’s safe to say most every person on the internet is intimately acquainted with The Emperor’s New Groove’s geriatric villainess, Yzma. So, let’s just cut to the chase and talk about why Yzma is a fantastic villain, shall we?

Motivation/Goals: Yzma’s goal is pretty simple and yet also infinitely understandable. She wants to take over the kingdom from Kuzco because, after years of being treated like garbage by the snotty little emperor she likely helped raise, he’s just firing her because she’s old and ugly. Like, it is TRUE, but it’s still incredibly tacky and rude. It’s not hard to empathize with her at least a little bit as she goes to poison the snotty, miserable emperor, though it really does become harder to side with her as the movie goes on and she continues to berate her poor manservant Kronk.

Performance: The legendary Eartha Kitt of Adam West’s Batman and My Life as a Teenage Robot fame gave Yzma exactly the voice she needed to instantly ingrain herself in your memory forever. Kitt was absolutely not afraid to ham it up, and combined with the character design and animation, it makes Yzma a delightfully over-the-top figure that is easy to love to hate. Even better, she has insanely good chemistry with Patrick Warburton as Kronk, and the two play off each other extremely well, leading to Yzma being part of a good 95% of the movie’s funniest scenes. It helps that, while she is definitely very funny, she is more often the straight man reacting to the insanity her compatriot brings to the table, a dark mirror to Kuzco and Pacha’s relationship… well, comparatively dark. These two are a couple of goobers after all. What I think really helps is that, despite being the straight man in a general sense, Yzma is still probably one of the most insane villains in Disney’s filmography, as in literally unhinged, so she is as able to generate laughs as anyone else.

Final Fate: Yzma’s attempts to kill Kuzco backfire spectacularly, and instead of succeeding in any way, shape, or form, she ends up turning herself into a cute little kitty. It’s a marked improvement, honestly. How she changed back to normal for the TV series, who can say? By all accounts it doesn’t make sense. Just don’t think too hard about it, it’s a comedy after all.

Best Scene: Considering how the entire climax of the film is an absolute cavalcade of comedy, we could go with that. Or we could go with her attempts to poison Kuzco at dinner. Or we could go with her interactions with Pacha’s family. The “problem” with Yzma that every scene with her is so great that it’s hard to single out any single one moment as outstanding, because all of them are pretty much on the same level. She’s remarkably consistent with how great she is.

Best Quote: It’s really hard for me to pick just one line (which is something I tend to say a lot, but I mostly talk about good villains on here, so cut me some slack), but I think the combination of the delivery and just how great Kitt’s voice was really helps make her brainstorming ways to kill Kuzco a legendary moment:

“Ah, how should I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. And then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself! And when it arrives, AH HA HA HA! I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!! It's brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT, I tell you! Genius, I say!”

The laugh is really what sells it, honestly.

Final Thoughts & Score: Yzma is probably the single greatest Disney villain who doesn’t totally follow the Renaissance villain format post-Renaissance, with only Turbo really being a contender for the crown. What I mean is this: the Renaissance set a serious precedent for animated movie villains going forward. They had to be hammy, have huge personalities, and get their own song. Ratigan was something of a prototype, and then Ursula went and set the standard. Sure, there were exceptions in the Renaissance – Hades is great but got no song, and Ratcliffe is… Ratcliffe, and he has a song – but for the most part the best Disney villains had a clear style. Ursula, Gaston, Frollo, Scar, all of them are some of Disney’s best and all of them stick to these rules.

Yzma came early in the post-Renaissance era so it would make sense for her to fit the bill entirely while they were still experimenting with new styles, but because of the tumultuous production of The Emperor’s New Groove, she ended up keeping the ham while having her villain song cut. And yes, this is a damn shame, since Eartha Kitt was a fantastic singer and the song’s not half bad, but I think the movie as a whole and Yzma herself work better without music. She’s just so funny with how she reacts to and interacts with things throughout the movie, I just don’t think she really NEEDS music to really push her over the top in terms of quality. Like, let me put it this way: I think, without “Be Prepared,” Scar would probably not be quite as impressive. I think with a villain song, Jafar would have been even cooler. Yzma? She’s pretty much perfect the way she is.

I debated a long time on what score to give her, but I frankly think she does deserve a 10/10. I almost gave her a 9 on the basis that she didn’t have a song, but her overall performance combined with my realization she didn’t need her song to be great made me decide to reward her with the highest marks. However, there is one criticism I have that I think stands: she would not nearly be s funny if not for the presence of her faithful lackey. So let’s talk about him, shall we?

Psycho Analysis: Kronk

I put this one to a vote, and it turns out that a lot of people consider Kronk a villain. I guess if we’re being technical he is an antagonist, but a villain? Kronk is pretty much the least evil villain out there. Still, it’s pretty impossible to deny that he’s not exactly a good guy when he’s complicit in an assassination attempt. Kronk’s a bit of a morally gray figure for much of the film.

He’s also, without a doubt, the funniest character in the film.

Motivation/Goals: See Yzma above. He’s just her lackey, so he doesn’t have much in terms of goals of his own. He does, however, have a conscience, as well as numerous skills including some serious culinary skills, including knowledge of fry cook lingo.

Performance: This is one of the roles that really put Patrick Warburton on the map, alongside Joe Swanson in Family Guy. And if I’m being honest, this is the definitive Patrick Warburton role in animation. Kronk is just an absolute delight to watch, since he’s basically the lovable idiot character perfected. He’s a ditz, but he does have a lot of skill in some interesting niche areas, he’s not truly good or evil and has a moral code, he’s very quotable and funny in a pretty natural way… Kronk has got it all! And it’s all thanks to Warburton injecting that Patrick Warbuton-ness we’ve all come to love from his performances. 

Final Fate: Of course Kronk gets redeemed in the end. The dude is the biggest softie on the planet. Maybe Yzma should have thought twice before insulting his spinach puffs.

Best Scene: Kronk has a similar problem to Yzma, where every single scene he’s in is incredibly perfect, but unlike Yzma, there is one scene that really narrows things down and gives you the perfect summation of Kronk as a character: the scene where he is attempting to dispose of Kuzco’s body, does his own theme music, argues with his shoulder angel and shoulder devil, and then ends up saving Kuzco, thus allowing the rest of the plot to happen.

Best Quote: Unlike Yzma, there is no way I could possibly narrow down Kronk’s best quote. Whichever one is your favorite, you’re right. That’s the best one. Everything out of his mouth is gold.

Final Thoughts & Score: Kronk is a very interesting lesson when it comes to Psycho Analysis because, while he is certainly antagonistic, and certainly is a great character, he’s not a great villain, which is what these reviews are for. Like, he is easily the best part of the movie, he is hilarious, his chemistry with Yzma is undeniable, and this is Warburton’s definitive vocal performance in animation… but it doesn’t make Kronk a good villain so much as it makes him a good character. Like there’s no way I can give him below an 8/10, because again, still an antagonistic role, but he can’t score much higher because his personality is just so legitimately NICE that calling him a villain seems really weird (which is why I put it to a vote in the first place).

I really can’t stress enough how much I love Kronk; he’s like in my top 10 favorite Disney characters. But when it comes to villains, I really don’t think he’d make the cut, because even when he is doing something bad it comes off more as misguided loyalty to Yzma than an actual desire to do bad. It’s really telling that it’s the most petty of things that makes him drop Yzma like a hot potato: Kronk was never really a villain, he was a good guy who made poor life choices and had a toxic friend influence. He didn’t really have a character arc where he became a better person like Kuzco did, although Kronk’s ultimate turn to the side of good does somewhat mirror Kuzco’s; he simply realized that the friend in his life he devoted his time to was an awful person and decided to leave her behind, and when all is said and done, that just leaves a big, buff nice guy who likes to cook. And that makes Kronk a truly great, funny, and lovable character.

It just doesn’t make him a great villain.

Help, I have emotions (aka the dating update I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for)

So, it’s been about a month, I guess, since I signed up for OKCupid and started legitimately dating? I have a lot of emotions! I need to get them out! So you get, basically, a diary post from me. Things might get very mildly NSFW, not because I’m trying to brag or broadcast these guys and mine’s business, but because it’s important to the stories, and because it’s my blog. I’m hoping this helps me figure some things out, or exorcise some things, or something.

So, there’s been about eight different guys I’ve chatted with. There’s a cute doctor who was really dull to talk to and ghosted me. Twice! One guy who was actually from Delaware! We talked for a day, he didn’t see my response to his last message for four days, and then when he did read it, didn’t respond. Either the very first or second guy I talked to ended up being a cop; thankfully, he had basically already said that we were too far apart to date (”If you lived closer, I’d totally ask you out”), and just started trying to talk here or there, so it was easy to end that one painlessly. None of those situations bothered or upset me.

One guy I talked to quite a bit, a young guy who works in a lab in Philly, and I liked him a lot and wanted to actually go on a date with him, but we’d been talking maybe a week and a half by that point? And we had talked about going out several times and neither of us had actually made the move to schedule something? On my end, I just had a hellish schedule for a bit, and I had one more date I was trying to slot in, and then once I know when that was going to be, I was going to ask him out. Literally the day I was going to ask him out, he stops replying to me (and then posts a subtweet about how unfortunate it is that he’s attracted to men). I think I waited too long, which I feel bad about :( He still follows me on Instagram, though, which is awkward.

There’s this other guy I’ve been talking to, I’ll call him “S,” who is REALLY cute. Physically, I’m into him perhaps more than anyone I’ve talked to. But he’s ended up being a pretty boring to talk to. He lives almost two hours away, so I initially talked about coming down to meet him, but then as time passed and I realized that he was kinda boring, I was less enthused, and I haven’t initiated conversation with him in a while, but he’s still been messaging me and talking about meeting up. So it was definitely time to either meet up or call things off completely. This Sunday coming up I’m heading not too far from him to see a concert anyway, so I told him I’d come down around lunch time and we could hang for a few hours and see what happens. I’m not expecting much out of it, but maybe he’ll surprise me. And if I end up calling things off, at least I can say I gave it the good ol’ college try.

But there’s been three guys I’ve actually gone on dates with so far, and have really liked all of them. So, of course, that’s where things get complicated. I’m going to start with this guy “J.” He’s a park ranger in Philly, and I really enjoy talking to him, both by text and in person. I think he’s interesting and knows how to hold a conversation. He’s cute too, but after our first date (where we met for dinner and walked around the city a bit; I had a very nice time) I wasn’t sure how much physical chemistry we had; we were clearly into each other, but there was no kiss or anything, and only very mild flirting by text. He has more dating experience than me, but not much, so I think we’re both pretty hesitant sometimes. It took about two weeks to go on another date with him, and by the time we had the date, I had kinda assumed we would end up being just friends, and was fine with that, to be honest.

The second date started out pretty awkward. We had dinner and walked around the city again, but we only had two hours of parking where we were, so had to wrap things up pretty quickly. I was hoping he would want to go somewhere else and continue the date for a little while, but all of a sudden he sprung on me “oh, here’s my car!” and it legit startled me, and I was too thrown to suggest going somewhere else, and he didn’t either and just said “I’ll see you next time!” And we did a hug goodbye that was awkward because as soon as it became a hug I got a vibe “oh, that should have been a kiss” and got really self conscious. So it ended awkwardly, and I felt dumb, and I drove over to the Barcade because that’s what I do when I have time to kill in Philly, and/or when I’m feeling down. He ends up texting me as soon as I get there saying that he had a great time but thought that I seemed a bit disappointed, so I explained to him how I had hoped it would last longer, and he admitted that he had wanted to kiss me at the end and wasn’t sure if he should, and I agreed that I had wanted that too; long story short, he drives over to the Barcade too and we have a much nicer date over there, a really nice conversation then about twenty minutes of making out in a booth. I gotta say, public making out is very bizarre, but I enjoyed it haha.

So the next day and a half or so we have some really frank conversations about sex and what we’re looking for in relationships and all that. He admits that he’s having trouble choosing between me and another guy, and I say I’m basically doing the same thing (except he’s one of three). We all but say we’re going to have sex with each other soon. And then, three days after that second date, he texts me to tell me that he asked the other guy to be his boyfriend. So it wasn’t out of nowhere, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen that quickly! And right as I was really starting to get attached to him. I’m not going to act like two dates and a month or so of conversation is an epic romance, but it still hurt, especially the fact that he chose somebody else over me. But I also freely admit that he did nothing wrong, and if he was trying to find a boyfriend that quickly, he probably made the right choice. If he had asked me to be his boyfriend instead, I don’t know if I would’ve said yes. But, y’know, it still hurt.

We agreed to stay friends, and then the next day he texts me to say that he’s having second thoughts -- this is his first boyfriend, and he’s starting to feel like he lost his freedom (”On the first day?!” I reply back). He eventually says that he still wants to have sex with me, and is thinking of trying to open up his relationship. I’ll admit, it was tempting, but I could also see that it was a mess and I probably dodged a bullet. I told him to figure things out with his boyfriend before he started asking me about it. And he drops it. Then yesterday he brings it up again (and basically asks in a way that says “I don’t think much of open relationships but”), so at that point I tell him off. Maybe if he had already been in an open relationship when he met me, or if he had approached us both to say “I wanna date both of you” I’d have been into it. But the way he did it made me feel like an afterthought, a second choice, like he was trying to have his cake and eat it too or like I was a doubt he needed to get out of his head before he could fully commit to his boyfriend. I told him it made me feel shitty and I didn’t want to be a part of it. And to his credit, he immediately apologized, said he was selfish (a word I didn’t use, so he brought that on his own), and agreed we’d really just be friends from here on out, and he told his BF everything he had asked me and how I’d responded and apologized to him and they decided to be monogamous. So, bittersweet ending I guess.  

Except it’s still got me a little fucked up. Why does one rejection stick in my craw more than all the compliments I’m getting from the two guys I’m still talking to who really, really like me? Honestly, part of it was just that I really thought we were going to have sex. I still haven’t had sex -- J and I only kissed, “N” and I have made out a lot and he sucked me off a little, but he doesn’t have sex unless he’s in a relationship, and “P” and I have done pretty much everything two guys can do up to actual penetrative sex, so based off that and a convo we had today I’m thinking it will happen next time I see him, but it’s going to be two more weeks before I can see him again. So thinking about J having sex with his boyfriend has really got me down and frustrated. Not even because I want to have sex with him, just because I want to have some goddamn sex already, and he’s having it and I’m not. And I realize that’s petty. But that’s how I feel

Him having “settled down” also has me anxious about N and P, the other two guys, and ones I liked more than J from the start, despite my last five paragraphs lol. N lives in Philly, and we’ve gone out four times now. He’s made it clear that he’d love to date me and that he’d be my boyfriend in a heartbeat, but I have to be the one to ask at this point, because he’s brought it up multiple times and I’m basically saying I’m not ready to make a decision yet. N works in a pharmacy but is a brilliant chef who made me a homecooked meal on our first date and it was some real romantic comedy shit -- I was midsentence as he cooked and he turned around, kissed me, and said “I’d been wanting to do that all night” leaving me in an amazing daze. N and I click really well and basically spend our dates playing video games, eating, and cuddling/making out (which I love doing with him) while we watch anime, and it’s really nice. He lives with one of his best friends and her family and they’ve all really welcomed me into their lives. He’s such a kind, generous person, who I make blush fairly often, and vice versa. I could see myself dating him.

But he also describes himself as a functional alcoholic. He smokes, which I hate, but he only does it outside -- the bigger issue there is the vaping, which he does inside. It makes him taste great when we make out, but IDK what it’s doing to my health (I always feel hazy when I leave his place, but I don’t know if it’s the smoke or that I’m generally leaving really late), and I don’t like being in even the faint smoke all the time. I need to talk to him about it on our next date, but I could see it being a dealbreaker. He’s also not a great texter. We have no problem talking in person, but our text convos are pretty sporadic, I haven’t quite cracked the code to them yet. That’s not the end of the world, but I’m going to have to figure out some way to talk to him between dates if we’re not texting because having that form of communication is important to me. He knows about me growing up in a cult (all three of these guys did/do, actually) and that I’m not out to my family yet and says he’s fine with it, but I don’t think he really *gets* it and is a little frustrated that I haven’t been able to stay the night yet. I am too, admittedly and obviously, but the pressure when I’m in a really complicated situation is a little much sometimes.

P, meanwhile, is a personal trainer and music teacher. We text pretty much all day every day, some of it legit conversation, some of it just silly bullshit, but it’s fun and makes me happy. He took me to a trampoline park on our first date, and out to a terrific brunch, and we have just as easy a chemistry in person as we do by text. He’s very zen and has an intriguing outlook on life that I appreciate. He’s not religious at all but does consider himself spiritual and he’s the first person who has made that distinction appealing to me. And we have electric physical chemistry. I am just so attracted to him, and apparently, vice versa. I won’t get into all the details, but things went way further, way faster with him than I expected (I’ve done more with him than I’ve done with anyone else), and I loved every minute of it.  Again, I could really, really see myself dating this guy.

The biggest problem here is the distance. He lives about 1 hour and 45 minutes away. It’s not the worst distance by a long margin. I drive that fairly often, and have considered dating guys who live that far away before. But it’s still a big complication, especially this month, when he’s non-stop swamped conducting two school plays, and also while I’m still living at home, which means he can’t come down to visit. I’m not sure how to navigate it yet, especially as we go further into the future. IDK if I would want to live in his town, if it came to that -- It’s nice, but I want to live in Philly, and I’d be even further from Philly there than I am now. Would he ever wanna move, even though his family, his students, and the business he built for himself are all in that town? I dunno. Those are probably questions for further in the future, but they have me really anxious.

It’s probably too early to be trying to “choose,” but I’m feeling that pressure from multiple directions, some more legit than others. I purposely haven’t matched with anyone else on the app or tried talking to anyone new because I wanna resolve things with my current batch of guys before I do. Honestly? I wish I hadn’t met them all at the same time. N and P are both great guys and I’d have dated either of them, and I feel shitty that choosing one means dropping the other and not getting that chance. But I’m going to try to be patient and get to know them both better, and maybe my path forward will become clearer as I do.

Anyway, that’s where I am right now. And actually? Yeah, I do feel better getting this off my chest.

Sorry for the extensive list, feel free to skip any you don’t wanna answer 🙈

Liam- 8, 26, 37

Lizzie- 2, 5, 22, 28

Alex- 16, 19, 24, 29

Elaina- 4, 13, 16, 25

Alby- 5, 24, 36, 39, 40

Liam:

8. Is there anyone that they currently aren’t speaking to? Why?

Not really. He and Arthur don’t see eye to eye on some stuff, but they are both civil and friendly and love each other very much. He has a few ex-girlfriends he doesn’t speak to, but no one he isn’t speaking to to spite them or something. 

26. What is something they’re legitimately bad at?

Cooking. 

37. Are there any holidays or celebrations that they go all in for?

Liam loves Christmas. They all do, really. They all inherited Waverly’s love for Christmas. 

Lizzie: 

2. Who do they look to for guidance?

Alex, Arthur, and her Aunt Aubrey :) 

5. What is a secret that they have?

Oooh, this is a good one. She has a few. When she was about seven she got really angry at Liam and chucked a book at his head while they were arguing in his room. He got angry and chucked a ball back at her and it went through his bedroom wall. They moved his bed and Arthur and Waverly still don’t know about it. She has a crush on a boy that her parents as well as her brothers  (well, maybe not Arthur and Waverly, but definitely Liam and probably Alex) would not approve of her talking to/going on a date with AND she’s been talking to him for quite a while... 

22. How indecisive are they?

Not very. She knows what she wants usually, and unless the decision is really super important, she tries to just make the best decision in the moment and move on. Alex is much more indecisive than her. 

28. When left to their own devices, how would they spend a free day?

Better part of her morning would probably be spent on her computer followed by an afternoon in her aunt’s chemistry lab. Junk food for lunch and dinner, and an evening of watching her younger cousins/officer Lewis’s kids’ that she’s been allowed to babysit a few times. 

Alex: 

19. How do they feel about public displays of affection?

Eh, he doesn’t really care if it’s someone else but he’s rather stiff in public and he would never. Like he and Elaina’s relationship is a secret rn, but even if it wasn’t the most you would probably see of their relationship is his hand on her back, or maybe hand holding if he didn’t think there were cameras around. 

24. What do they think they’re good at, but aren’t?

Singing. For sure. 

29. What do they do to relax?

He plays his piano, writes music, or listens to music. 

Elaina

4.  Who is someone they’ve hurt?

Clara. Lizzie a time or two. She can be mean when she tries to be. Feelings can be hurt. 

13. What is something that makes them uncomfortable?

Blood and gore. Anything medical 

16.  What is the most romantic thing someone has done for them?

Probably the little birthday-escapade they did back in chapter one. 

25. What is something they think they’re bad at, but are actually pretty competent at?

She doesn’t think she’s very good at the whole girlfriend thing. Alex is constantly spoiling her and getting her things and she hardly ever knows what to get him. She is a really good girlfriend though. Just in a different way. Their love languages are different. He always knows what to buy for her. She always knows what to say. 

Alby: 

5. What is a secret that they have?

When he’s playing in Arthur’s office, or Waverly’s office, or sitting in one of his siblings’ rooms snacking and reading or playing, he’s listening too. He knows a whole lot of stuff. He might not understand it all, but he understands enough. His secret is that he knows their secrets - but he wouldn’t ever tell them that. 

24. What do they think they’re good at, but aren’t?

Sooo many things. He’s still pretty rough on the drums. He’s not very good at singing, or literally any sports, but Alex encourages him and lets him win anyway. He thinks he’s the bomb at Clue but in reality all his siblings collectively let him win a lot. 

36. Are there any holidays or celebrations they dislike?

Easter and Christmas they do public appearances for church and stuff and he doesn’t like that. He wishes they could just stay at home all day. He likes the holidays...but he doesn’t like the public obligation. 

39. Would they rather have a picnic in the woods or a picnic on the beach?

On the beach. Alby looooves the beach. 

40. Blanket fort or tree house?

Blanket fort with Lizzie (because she builds the best ones), but treehouse with Alex or Liam (it’s their brother cave). 

The Perils of Love

A/n: A short imagine for @bucky-smiles ‘s bollywood writing challenge, my prompt was this song . This one was beta read by @nasarogers and @mcuspidey and @thebookwormslytherin

"So then, obviously, she smacks him because what else is she gonna do? Here the idiot is trying to woo her and she's trying to get funeral arrangements for her hamster ..." her hands waved about, bangles jangling. Almost every session went like this, an hour and a half where they would actually study and the last 30 minutes spent discussing random things. Y/N sighed and closed her notebook. "I fucking hate maths. Or anything that has both numbers and letters. Who thought it was a good idea, anyway?"

Peter didn't feel mentioning his fondness for algebra would win him any points from Ms. Liberal Arts. When initially she had approached him, asking for help studying maths, he had been confused as to why a photography major needed it. She had muttered darkly that she held the same beliefs.

He wasn't complaining, though. The only class they shared was the one subject she detested, but atleast he got to see her instead of his stupid textbooks.

Peter had tried to resist, of course, devoting his attention to getting a degree and a job (though his mentor had already promised him one, he didn't want to look undeserving of it) but the force that was YN YLN was unstoppable when it came to convincing. 

Resist why, someone might ask. Studying with a pretty, intelligent girl had to have some benefits, right?

Benefits only if someone enjoyed longing and heartache, as if wishing for something that was forbidden. Nothing quite as dramatic as disapproval from anyone or interruptions in studies, it was clear that she wasn't very interested in him aside from as a study partner.

He had zoned out while she was playing with her phone, thinking about how patrols and studying had ripped away any hopes of sleep from him, when she looked up at him.

"I should go, right? Ugh, I hate doing this to you, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, uh, I was-uh not that you need to apologise- I think you, uh don't need my help anymore…"

She looked confused. "I-What?"

"I think we shouldn't study together anymore."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"It's not you, it's me."

"What the fuck?" She was plain pissed now. Snatching her books back, she stood, frowning. "Thanks for the help, I guess." And stormed away before he could say anything. 

Head in his hands, he decided to call Tony.

~

"So you like this girl, and she asks you to help her study and then you decide to break it up...why?" Tony sounded sleepy and confused.

"Shit, is it 2 already? I thought you were awake." He deflected the question.

"You know I stay awake until 3, Pete. And answer the question. Why did you end it?"

"I-just, I don't know. This just friends thing is killing me."

"Then ask her out?"

"I'm telling you, she's definitely not interested."

Tony, reading a magazine of Pepper's while she slept beside him, smiled at his son's words, mirroring those he had confessed to Rhodey some odd 15 years ago. "And how do you know that?"

"Because...well leave it. I should probably go on patrol anyway."

"Sent a suit out. Get some sleep, kiddo, I can hear your yawning from here. And stop drinking that damn coffee, you'll ruin your sleep."

"I'm not as old as you, remember?"

"Oh yeah? Tell you what, I'll come visit on Saturday and we'll see who looks more dead. And don't worry about the girl, okay? Just don't be a dick. Don't tell your aunt I said that."

~

YN asked him to coffee once to just talk, after class ended, but he refused, pleading a test in Chemistry. She pursed her lips and said nothing. 

As she walked away, all of his row turned to stare at him. Ever since they had started studying together, he had been the envy of almost every idiot there, some whispering nefarious rumours over his and her intentions. 

"Did you two break up?" One of them whispered.

"You seem quite interested?" He whispered back, making all of them turn back to packing their things up.

She tried talking to him again when she ran into him in the hallway, but he got away citing a class he was late to. 

Irritated, YN stormed up to his dorm, murder written on her face. His floormates, who liked to tease them normally, were scarce, probably terrified. 

She knocked thrice at the door, jaw tight. At the lack of response, she knocked again. She fished out her phone from her jeans, cursing the company for making it so tight and herself for wearing it instead of her normal leggings. She called Peter again, determined to talk.

~

"So yeah, Vogue didn't exactly cover all the angst of the relationship. Jesus, half of it they made up." Tony sat on the bed while Peter lounged on the chair, poor posture and leg resting on the table. He merely hummed. While Tony's advice was great, he wasn't sure he really understood the situation.

"I just-you knew at some level Pepper would be willing to get with you, right? I don't think that's the case here."

"Shall I tell you a secret? No girl is willing to study a subject she hates, that too without break, for only passing a subject. Just so you know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have cooking duty today." Stark got up, stretching. "I really do feel dead, wow." 

Peter rolled his eyes but got up to drop Tony off. They both heard the knock at the same time. It rang three times, and after a gap, again. He checked his phone, which showed missed calls from the girl he was dreading to talk to.

~

The door swung open and she was greeted by a face she'd only seen on TV. Tony Stark smiled at her, muttering an excuse me, walked away whistling. She tilted her head and looked at Peter, who had gotten up to close the door.

"Mind if I come in? Can I distract the scholar for two minutes?" Her voice was sugary sweet but her eyes betrayed her frustration.

"Sure, come on in." He opened the door fully. She came in, slamming it shut. She thrust the tiny tetrapack container she held towards him. Twisting it, he saw it was a juice box. Peter raised a single eyebrow.

"Since you want to act so childish." She snarked, stabbing a hole in her own capri sun. "You must be getting such good grades now that you're not studying with me."

"That's not the thing…" he looked away.

"Eye contact, please."

"Look, this just friends thing. I can't do it. I legitimately cannot. First of all, I hate maths, and second, even if I didn't, I can't focus on anything but you. Anytime you tell me about how cute that guy in psych is or how that girl in ethics helped you I actually go ballistic. Totally creepy, I know. I want you to be my girlfriend, but since that is not possible. That goddamn mole on your chin keeps following me, and I just wanna kiss you-" he was interrupted in his rant by her lips on his. 

3 seconds later, she broke away, smiling from ear to ear. Peter was still in shock, made catatonic by the fact that YN HAD JUST KISSED HIM.

Before he could say anything, she was kissing him again, dragging him forward by the shirt.

~

Patting his pockets, Tony checked for his wallet to pay for the can from the vending machine when he realised he'd probably left it behind, showing Peter a photograph of Pepper he carried that was so old, it was ripping at the edges.

"Fuck." He turned around, hoping the kids wouldn't be fighting. He had enough white hairs trying to break up Morgan's kindergarten fights. No one had warned him kids would be so much trouble.

Except Pepper, of course. She really was the best.

~

Their fervent making out was interrupted by the door swinging open, Tony's voice drifting into the room.

"You seen my wallet? Can't lose that photo… Ms.Potts made sure every other copy was destroyed, I swear the woman is more vain than me-OH MY GOD OKAY I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT." 

YN, turning around to lash the person interrupting with her fiery tongue tripped and fell when she saw who it was, dragging Peter, who she held by the shirt, down with her. They landed in a heap on the floor.

Tony grabbed his wallet, put a finger on his lips and walked away, closing the door behind him.

"Wanna get that coffee now or…?"

"I may have another capri sun. I'm too embarrassed to go out now."

YN laughed and pecked him on the cheek. 

The Art of Love: Chapter 12

Fandom: She Ra (2018)

Ship: Glimadora 

Summary: While Glimmer gets to spend some time with her mother, Angella, she gets a potentially disastrous text from Adora. 

Warnings (for this chapter): Food Mention, One reference to parental death, Some discussions of internalized homophobia (please tell me if anything needs to be added)

Genre: High School AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rivals/Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff

A/N: I have to say,,, this has turned out to be much slower of a burn than I originally expected but oh well, the story will do what it wants. I am so happy and excited to continue working on it. I have found such a sweet and wonderful community through this silly story and I hope you all know just how much I appreciate each and every one of you. Love you all 🖤✨

Ao3    The Art of Love Masterpost    Fic Masterpost    Fic Request Info

A few hours and several hastily done homework assignments later, Glimmer sat across from her mother at the dinner table and quietly moved broccoli across her plate. It was her mom’s day off which meant they finally got the chance to spend time together. Unfortunately it also meant her mother felt obligated to cook dinner.

She glanced up to see her mother mirroring her actions, using her fork to bat at what Glimmer could only assume to be something that was- at one point or another- a vegetable.

Her mother wrinkled her nose as she looked up at Glimmer, “It’s not very good is it?”

Glimmer smiled, trying to lighten the blow, “It’s not... great, no.”  

Angella sighed, “Pizza again?”

“Well, I don’t know. This isn’t too inedible.”

She stuck her tongue out at Glimmer and laughed, “Stop teasing me! I’m trying my best!”

Her mother began moving to get up, presumably to order a pizza for the third week in a row, but Glimmer scrambled to get out of her chair first, “I’ll get it don’t worry!”

Glimmer had a hate/love relationship with having her mom finally home. She enjoyed being able to see her and rant about the stupid shit both of them had been forced to deal with. Their was a certain comfort in laughing until you’re crying with a person you know has the same sense of humor as you. On the flip side, that didn’t happen very often. At least, not anymore. It was far more common for Angella to laugh lightly, leaving Glimmer wondering where all the joy her mother used to hold had gone. She was tired. Work was hard and long and unpredictable; things would have been far easier if she wasn’t the only one bringing income into the household. Glimmer saw the stress it put on her mother- both physically and mentally- and wished she could do something to fix it all.

“Thank you, dear,” Glimmer could hear the relief in her mother’s voice and knew her legs must have been bothering her after standing on them all day.

“Yeah no problem, Mom,” Glimmer grabbed her phone off the kitchen counter and was about to dial the local pizza place when a notification flag caught her eye. The text came from a number unregistered in her contacts but she knew it well. Adora.

She could only see the first few words of the message:

Hey! I was wondering...

A thousand possible situations flashed across Glimmer’s mind- most of them revolving around the image of Elizabeth chattering away to Adora, casual as could be while she ripped apart Glimmer’s world.

And now Adora was texting her, probably asking why the hell Glimmer would ever possibly be foolish enough to crush on someone so out of her league. But she would never say anything like that; she would try to let Glimmer down easy. And it would hurt so much worse because Glimmer wouldn’t even have the comfort of hiding behind anger. It would all be soft words and sympathetic frowns and dull blades that did so much more damage than the one sweeping sword Glimmer wished Adora would reject her with, but knew she never would.

“Everything ok?” Angella called from the dining table, probably wondering why she hadn’t heard a sound when this was usually around the time Glimmer tried to sneak pineapple onto their order.

“Yeah, sorry! Got a little distracted!” Glimmer prayed her voice didn’t sound as strangled as felt in her throat.

“Well hurry up!! I’m hungry!”

Glimmer smiled at her mother’s playfully impatient tone before glaring down at the unopened notification.

She was tempted to throw her phone as far away from her as possible. Maybe into the garbage disposal at which time the switch would mysteriously flip on and the disposer would grind to life, ending all of Glimmer’s problems. On the other hand, she wanted pizza.

Glimmer paused for a second to think, bringing out all her customary mannerisms to do so- from chewing her lip to tapping her foot.

“Are you alright? Glimmer, is there really so much to be distracted by?”

Glimmer set her phone back on the counter face down and took a deep breath. She wasn’t ready to deal with whatever Adora was going to say. Or rather, had said and was now simply waiting for Glimmer to acknowledge. But Glimmer, in all her stubborn brilliance, decided she wasn’t going to acknowledge it. Not yet. Right now she was going to order some god damn pizza, attempt to sneak some pineapple onto it, and spend the rest of the night talking to her mom. The world owed her that much of a break.

She glanced over at her phone, its pastel rainbow case hardly representing the threat Glimmer felt it contained at the moment. All she had to do was was grab the phone and open the lock screen before she got a chance to read the message. Easy-peasy. She felt like a runner, coiled up at the starting line and ready to spring. She gave a small huff of a laugh. It’s just a text; you’re not trying to dodge bullets.

“Glimmer, what are you doing?”

“Yeah, Mom, sorry. I’m getting it now.”

“You’re not texting you friends are you?”

The irony very nearly got a legitimate laugh out of Glimmer, “No, Mom.”

She grabbed her phone, opened her lock with her thumbprint, and exhaled a breath she didn’t she had been holding. The message app held a red little bubble, trying to get her attention so she would answer the texts that had piled up since the last time she had checked. Glimmer knew at least four of them would be Bow, sending her memes. But one of them was Adora.

She shook her head. When it came down to it, she wanted pizza right now far more than she wanted any type of drama. Glimmer quickly pulled up her contacts, gave her usual order to one of the workers and walked back to the dining room; she left her phone in the kitchen.

Glimmer slid sideways into her chair, “So how was your day?”

Angella shrugged, “Pretty boring, really. Didn’t do much.”

“I mean that’s kinda the point of a day off,” Glimmer nodded as she spoke, trying to concentrate on the conversation instead of on the unopened message that waited for her on the kitchen counter. She felt guilty as her mind drifted away from what- no, who- she knew was more important. But it was like fighting an ocean’s tide; no matter how hard you grip the waves, they’re always going to pull away. And through her fingers, Glimmer’s attention would slip, always finding its way back to Adora.

It was beginning to be infuriating. The past few days had seemed completely centered around Adora. Every second Glimmer was getting a stomach ache over worrying about her or she was melting into some sad, pining puddle. Even when she managed to hold some composure, there was some nagging little feeling deep in the back of her mind that would eventually manage to bait and trap her focus. It was beginning to be ridiculous. This certainly wasn’t Glimmer’s first time having a crush, but she had never felt so trapped by her emotions before. It had never been this suffocating, so all-consuming. Anyways, she had more important things to be doing than daydreaming about something that was just that- a dream. But it was beginning to be unnerving. Because Glimmer didn’t know how to stop it.

“Hello there? Earth to Glimmer?”

“Hmm?” Glimmer snapped back to the present, scolding her mind for let her get so wrapped up in the middle of a conversation, “Hi. What were you saying?”

Her mom was smiling, “I was just asking how your day was, Miss Head in the Clouds.”

Glimmer pushed a smile onto her lips, “Oh, yeah I’m fine.”

Across the table, her mother’s eyebrows were pressed together, “You seem very tense.”

It was presented as a statement but Glimmer knew it was a question she was expected to answer.

“Really, I’m fine. I just have a big project right now and it’s... causing me some problems.” Well that’s not a lie.

“Oh?” Angella sat up a little, “What’s it on? What class is it for? What do you have to do?”

Her enthusiasm wasn’t contagious but it did hold a level of charm. Glimmer shook her head, “It’s not nearly as fun or exciting as you think it is. We just have to build a model of an element.”

“Wait is this for your chemistry class with that horrible teacher?” Glimmer’s mother jumped in, interrupting her with surprising passion, “What sort of problems are you having?”

Glimmer rolled her eyes, “Really, Mom, it’s no big deal. I’m... figuring it out, ok?”

Her mind flashed back to the time her mother had marched into the school’s front office- fuming and probably ready to physically fight someone- after Glimmer had complained about some idiots mocking her for being bi. It had been more infuriating than insulting or anything actually impactful. But Angella, in all of her attempts to be a supportive and protective mother, had decided to take matters into her own hands.

“And, uh, I don’t need any help.”

Her mother’s face fell in what Glimmer knew was disappointment, “Oh definitely. I’m sure you can handle it.”

“But if I need help, I’ll definitely tell you,” Glimmer tried.

Angella’s face brightened; it was nice to see her smile, “Ok!”

Silence settled between them. Angella let her eyes roam over Glimmer, studying her. It was obvious she was looking for something, mouth set and eyes slightly squinted. If anyone else had done it, Glimmer would have squirmed and snapped at them for even acknowledging her existence, let alone making her acknowledge it.

Glimmer just snorted though in response to her mother’s scrutiny, “Can I help you?”

Angella gave a tiny frown, “There’s something else going on. You have way too many thoughts floating around in your eyes for this just to be about a project.”

Glimmer shrugged and decided to focus on the easier subject of her plate instead of her mother. Her fork made a plink plink sound as she tapped it against the rim of her plate. It was almost funny to think she was so consumed by it all that apparently just her eyes gave it away. Just as strongly, it was disgusting to think she was so consumed by it, just her eyes gave it away. Even when she was trying to focus on something else, the thoughts in her head were loud enough to be heard by everyone around her.

Her mom’s frown deepened at Glimmer’s avoident answer, “Come on, what’s up?”

Glimmer looked up. Her mother’s warm brown eyes were searching her, concern written clearly on her face. It made a Glimmer wonder- if her mother was so easily readable- what her own face was displaying. What pining, sick to her stomach, completely hopeless novel she set down for people to see whenever they passed her.

Glimmer smiled sadly, if only for her mother’s beauty. She and Glimmer had dyed their hair together and the long pink strands drifted across her eyes and onto her shoulders. Her face was filled with determined warmth, trying to fix whatever was bothering Glimmer. But the creases between her eyebrows were far too deep and the frown on her face fit into place too comfortably. Glimmer didn’t want to add to those lines.

She waved her hand casually, “I’m just having some people problems.”

Her mother leaned forward, “What sort of people?”

Glimmer gave up. Maybe it would be better just to come clean, “Pretty people. There’s a girl in one of my classes that I kind of like.”

“Oh!” Glimmer couldn’t help but laugh at her mother’s genuinely surprised expression.

“What? You really thought my heart was so cold I couldn’t fall for someone?”

Angella opened and closed her mouth before speaking, “No, no it’s not that. That’s just not the type of problems you usually have. That’s almost, like, a normal problem.”

Glimmer rolled her eyes, “Wow, Mom, thanks. That’s not at all vaguely insulting.”

“That’s not what I meant! But that’s fun, isn’t it?” She had gained happy little light in her eyes and clapped her hands excitedly, “Tell me about her! Also a her? I mean, this is the first time you’ve told me about having a girl crush.”

Glimmer could feel her face flushing cherry red. There were so many open wounds her mother had bothered in just a few seconds of speech. Because, no, it wasn’t fun. It was overwhelming and terrifying and it had all hit so fast. It was like a tsunami- no warning and then boom the water was over Glimmer’s head and she was just struggling not to drown. And every time someone talked to her, they were assuming she was standing in the shallow end and just needed to remember how to swim. But swimming wasn’t going to help her now.

And it was intoxicating, all of her thoughts swarmed by emotions that buzzed and made it hard for any ideas to come through clearly. But it was addictive; she could let herself just float in that white noise for the rest of time. She could let herself sink beneath the waves and ignore her lungs as they screamed for air.

“Yeah,” Glimmer let the fork fall back to the plate and moved her hands to start fidgeting in her lap, “I think we’re both still getting used to the whole ‘girl’ thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, don’t you think it could be-“ Glimmer’s voice had risen in aggravation but cracked as she searched for a way to wrap all of her fears into one word, “Dangerous?”

“Glimmer, my darling, we live in a very accepting area- I know two whole lesbians at my job!! I think you’re overthinking it-“

Glimmer slammed the palm of her hand flat down on the tabletop, “Yes! I know! I do that! And people seem to think that telling me how ridiculous I’m acting will help! And guess what? It doesn’t. It doesn’t help in the slightest because maybe, just maybe, I’ll be right one of these days. Because the world sucks so why wouldn’t something else go wrong?!”

“I-“ Angella seemed speechless, marveling at the fury in Glimmer’s eyes. Glimmer sat stiffly and breathed heavily like she had just sprinted a mile. She dared her mother to challenge her.

Finally Glimmer was the one to give in, letting her posture collapse and the anger subside, “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that. It’s just, I’m so tired of being different. I stand out so much already. I’m the kid who can’t do anything but art and I cry too easily and I’m the one whose dad died... I wish I didn’t have to add my sexuality to that list.”

“Oh, darling,” Her mother’s voice was soft and seemed to dissolve into pieces as it broke.

Glimmer realized that maybe she had taken it too far, gone too deep, “I’m sorry. Just ignore what I said.”

“No, if you want to talk-“

Glimmer attempted once again to change the tone, smile a little too forced and voice a little too loud, “So about this girl. Yes! She’s very pretty and smart and funny.”

Angella’s lips twitched into a frown, “You sound like you’re reading off a list. I can tell you’re just trying to avoid the subject, even though you are the one that brought it up.”

Glimmer shrugged and popped a vegetable into her mouth, regretting her actions as the taste hit her but thankful that she didn’t have to answer.

Her mother pursed her lips, “I don’t like you closing everything up from me but-“

The doorbell drilled from across the room and Glimmer jumped up, practically running away from the table, “Pizza’s here!”

She walked back into the room a minute later and set the box down with an exaggerated flourish. She let the performance drop with a grimace when she noticed the defeated look on her mother’s face.

She didn’t try to hide the sigh that escaped her, “What’s wrong, Mom?”

“I don’t know,” Angella shook her head, “I just feel like we haven’t been, I don’t know, connecting lately.”

Maybe that’s because you’re never home. Glimmer bit her tongue, immediately feeling guilty for the words that had very nearly jumped out of her mouth. You know she doesn’t get to choose when her shifts are. You know she works long hours for you. And maybe she would know more if you actually told her anything.

Glimmer reached to open the pizza box and grab a piece, buying time for her to fish for a more appropriate response in her mind. She wished she could just shrug again and brush the whole interrogation off her shoulders. But her mother had a look of soft pleading in her eyes that Glimmer knew was actually veiling steely stubbornness. There was no way she could win this.

She took a bite and chewed it slowly, all while keeping eye contact with her mother. It was a contest of wills at that point and they both knew it. But every possible strategy and escape route Glimmer could construct had twisted itself into a dead end.

“Well, I’m here now so... let’s ‘connect’ I guess,” The words felt weird and awkward as they left her mouth.

Angella leaned forward, grinning triumphantly, “How’s school been going? Have you started any new art projects? Also this girl- what’s so problematic about her?”

The last question caught Glimmer off guard, “I never said she was problematic. What makes you say that?”

Her mother gave a vague, noncommittal twitch to her lips before looking away and grabbing a slice off pizza for herself. Glimmer almost burst out laughing- She’s using my own tactics against me.

After a moment Angella spoke, “There just seems to be more going on; there’s something that’s bothering you right now. Did something happen today?”

Glimmer resolved to shredding the remaining crust in her hands to tiny pieces that she then threw at her plate. There were a thousand things her mother could have been picking up on, all the stray thoughts that bumping on the edges of her mind and dragged her off topic. But there was only one thought that took center stage; Elizabeth and whatever trouble she had no doubt already gotten Glimmer into.

The reminder of Adora’s text still waiting for her in the other room made Glimmer queasy. She felt like Adora was herself perched in the kitchen, patiently waiting for Glimmer to notice her. Glimmer could just see her sitting in the edge of the counter and swinging her legs out, probably looking far too cute than she had any right to given the danger she represented.

It was no wonder that her mother could tell something was up when Glimmer was practically squirming in her seat. Not that Glimmer would admit that. It was too close to the surface; one of those issues that caused her so much more pain because the wave could crest at any moment and the entire crisis would come crashing down her. It was the difference between slowly turning the shower temperature up bit by bit- yes, you might be aware of the damage in the back of your mind but it doesn’t really bother you- and simply thrusting your arm into a boiling pot of water.

Admitting to her discomfort would be admitting to the problem’s existence. She wasn’t ready to do that yet; wasn’t ready to take her arm out of the boiling water. Worst of all, she wasn’t ready to treat the inevitable burns.

The whole situation with Elizabeth was way too delicate to let her mother stomp into the scene. It was a white hot rod that twisted within her and kept her sitting stiffly as it ran the entire length of her torso. But it was like leaving a ticking bomb in the middle of the room and expecting her mom to ignore it.

Glimmer tapped the tongs of her fork against her throughly destroyed crust, occasionally stabbing into it.

Her mother blinked across at her, patient for an answer to the point of obstinance.

Glimmer gave her an awkward scowl, “Yeah, there’s just been some complications.”

Angella opened her mouth, obviously prepared to protest but Glimmer bolted up quickly, filling the room with the sound of her chair screeching against the floor before her mom could fill the space with any other sort of noise.

She grabbed her plate and rushed out of the room before she would have to admit to anything else- or have her body language admit it for her. She let the plate clatter as she hurriedly set it down in the sink and continued down the hall, moving in a straight line to nowhere in particular other than just away. Away from all the reminders. Away from her mother’s eyes that managed to pick her apart with just a glance. Away from those eyes that were too tired and too sad.

It wasn’t until she was half way down the hall that Glimmer realized she had taken her phone with her. She must have impulsively snatched it as she walked out of the kitchen. As much as she wished, it was too late to put it back.

Glimmer paused momentarily and stared down at the small device in her hand. It’s just a phone. It can’t actually hurt you. Even if Adora’s message is, you know, crushing and life ruining, it’s not like she can REALLY do anything to you. The voice of reason sounded flimsy and unsure if itself even to Glimmer- and she was the one creating it. Look loser, you’re gonna have to deal with it eventually.

That made more sense.

She stopped stalling and trudged into her room, careful not to slam the door to assure her mom that she wasn’t mad. Glimmer tripped her way over to her bed; her room was still a war zone of craft supplies from the night before.

Even that was a surreal experience. Part of Glimmer was still convinced none of it had ever happened, another part was sure it had occurred years ago. A final piece whispered that Adora taking up space in her room and her voice filling the house was the norm and Glimmer being by herself was the alien situation.

Glimmer flopped backwards onto her bed. She almost wondered if the soft impression Adora had left in the sheets was still there. She almost wondered if they had held onto that hyper-specific scent that Glimmer knew you could only notice if you sat right next to Adora- or if she had her arms wrapped around you. She almost closed her eyes and tried to pretend that Adora was still there and they still had a few hours until the morning and more clay to paint and time was still their’s to play with because they were just a couple of dumb teens trying to live their lives and sometimes that meant abandoning human constructs and dancing to Hozier. She almost did that. Almost. But she didn’t. She hadn’t fallen that far.

She stared up at her ceiling for a second. It was too bright in there with her lights on for the star stickers to glow. Instead they just sat there looking mildly dirty, just some dusty greenish yellow spots above her that could never measure up to the real thing.

Glimmer finally stopped procrastinating and raised her phone above her face so that she couldn’t see that sickly stars anymore- just the still darkened screen of what was surely her doom.

She took one last gulp of air and she tapped in her password. The message icon was bright green, but it might as have been dark indigo because Glimmer felt like she was diving into a bottomless ocean trench as she opened the app. Here goes nothing.

Survey #225

“i tried to write your name in the rain, but the rain never came.”

How many times a day do you check your cell to see if you have a text? Considering my dumb phone doesn't let me know I have texts half the time, I do multiple times throughout the day. Ever wonder if the person you hate will become the person you marry? HA HA YOOOOOOOOOOOO SARA AND I DID AND NOW I DEADASS WANNA MARRY HER TOMORROW How many times a day do you wash your hands? It varies. After I use the bathroom or if I'm about to touch food. You walk in on your parents smoking pot, what do you do? lol h u h How old were you when you had your first crush? Hell if I know. I do remember as a young kid though, I was very much "ew boys no thnx." Maybe like... 5th grade? When was the last time you asked God for something? A long, long time ago. Your opinion on smoking: Just don't, dude. It's money going towards gradual suicide. No one likes the smell. You sure won't like how it affects your body. It's an addiction/it's stressful to stop. I'm not gonna like, judge you if you smoke, but nevertheless, I'll tell anyone it's an awful idea. Make love or fuck? It depends on the mood. I was more into the former mood back when that even applied to me, though. Have you ever cried so much over something that later felt like nothing? Oh, I can assure you I have. The last time you were afraid of the dark was: I'm not really scared of the dark, but one time I got up semi-recently in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and after one incident, I was so, so careful and nervous to step on Bentley's tail. He lost his fucking mind on me when I did it once, of course on accident. The TV was off by this point, so I couldn't see well at all. I love having a dog that fucking scares me. How often do you say I love you to your parents and mean it? A whole lot. Your boyfriend/girlfriend say they can’t hang out & it’s been two weeks. You? I mean sure, it sucks, but if they're legitimately busy, they're busy. Have you ever wanted a wild animal for a pet? If yes what animal? I had a phase where I really wanted a fox, and now I am DEAD serious about fostering opossums at some point. When you go to sleep, do you have to have white noise or silence? SILENCE. Though I don't really get /total/ silence 'cuz I have to have my fan on. My room's always hot. Have you ever gotten in a fight with a teacher? No. Ever had a creepy dream about a teacher? No. Where were you when you had your first sleepover? Your house or a friends’? I believe I was at my then-best friend's house. I had suuuuch bad separation anxiety from my mom that I know I was older than most kids who did. What are you limits for doing stuff for money? I'd never do sexual favors or seriously hurt someone for it. Is there someone you are mean to all the time for no reason? No. I'll admit I'm typically rather short with Bentley, but Jesus, do I have reason. When you think of love what’s the first that comes to mind? Sara. How do you calm your mind and find peace when you are stressed? My best bet is going to sleep; that's pretty much, usually, my reset button. Have you ever given someone flowers? I gave Jason flowers once or twice. I gave my mom some for Mother's Day as a kid. How often do you get on Facebook? A couple times a day... mainly just to see memes lmaoooo. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? Good Lord, Tuesdays. I'm at school for 13 hours. Mostly sitting in the library waiting for classes, but. I do study a whole lot, though, and it's when I get a bunch of schoolwork done. Is there a place that you will never return back to? Idk. When was the last time that you created a PowerPoint? I'm actually working on/off one for FYS 'cuz we have to do this "Lifeline" thing where we introduce ourselves and give our stories. Guess who's not fucking ready. Do you like group work? NO. NO. Particularly if it's with people I don't know. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Is music or the TV on while you complete this survey? I'm listening to Chase Holfelder's cover of "Kiss The Girl" rn. Does your grass need cut currently? No. Do you listen to Nirvana? Occasionally. What color are the doors in your house? White. Have your friends ever not wanted you to be with someone? Probably. What is your favorite use for whipped cream? I hate that stuff. What is your favorite flower? Orchids. And your favorite nut? Ew no thanks. Can you curse in a foreign language? Of course I know "fuck" and "shit" in German lmao. Are you fond of spaghetti? Hell yeah man. Have you ever played in the mud? I sure did zoom through it on my bike as a kid. Do you remember what your first real relationship felt like? That relationship ultimately led to PTSD, how could I possibly forget. Who can make you happy no matter what? Sara, Mark, and Game Grumps are particularly good at that. How tall are you? 5'4.5'' Are there any animals near you? No, I'm at school rn. Do have a lot of lists? No. Are you a godparent? No. Do you sleep too much or not enough? Eh, it depends on the day and my mood. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? Yep. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? Never been on one before. Do you think having a bad temper is a sign of immaturity? I mean, no? It's an interesting question and I guess a "maybe," but. I feel this depends on the trigger. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? I was a fucking yoga master babe in 9th grade, fuckin fite me. When growing up, did your parents keep the house very tidy? I guess? It wasn't dirty. How many watches do you own? Zero. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? Political views, I guess? Or the fact I'm bi? I only know of one person in my extended family that's gay. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? No shit? Emergencies are a thing? BUT, respect the teacher, please. I cannot stand people using their phone in class, especially here in college. You're paying a shitload to learn. Spend that time as you're supposed to. Take education seriously. If your phone's on vibrate for said emergency situations, that's cool. Do you have any gay relatives? Lol oh. Yeah, Mom has a cousin. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Yeah. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? I deleted my sister's mother-in-law in fury over her homophobia because I've seriously had it, then just a few days ago actually I went through my Facebook list deleting people I just didn't really feel connected to/didn't really care to follow their journey anymore. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? Zero. Do you know what your vocal range is? It's not broad. I'd say I'm probably in a rank slightly lower than most women. What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? I've never really been in the position to be capable of that. I've never had a source of income. If so, what sub-genres of metal do you like the best? Probably heavy. Or symphonic, though I haven't found too many artists in that sub-genre that I really enjoy. But BOY, when I do? I will BINGE that shit to the ends of the earth. Have you ever turned down someone who didn’t handle the rejection well? Ha ha oh man, I remember in 4th grade, this kid Nick was desperate to date me. It was endearing and cute, but he asked kinda obsessively. Then jfc, when I broke up with Tyler, you would've thought I was Jason and he was me, holy shit. How large is your largest scar, and what is it from? Well, I can't see it, so I actually don't know. I guess kinda long, but not wide. It's from a cyst removal surgery. Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? Omg, my Writing teacher. She really liked my writing on my essay. I was so flattered. When was the last time you went for a walk? Like, just a casual walk for the sake of walking? Not since I was at Sara's last. That was when my muscle atrophy was starting to get extremely bad though and I was very close to death omg. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? I don't think so. When cooking a meal, do you clean up as you go or wait til you’re done? I don't know how to cook. Do you develop crushes easily? NO. I am soooooo romantically picky. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? A month or more with Colleen after we were evicted. That was a really good time, honestly, regardless of how we feel about each other now. I don't think anyone's done something so selfless for me, and we really did have fun. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? I'd say it was normal for someone that age. Do you like salsa that has fruit in it? NO. Do you think stained glass windows are pretty? Hell yeah. That was my favorite thing about the church I grew up with; Catholic churches tend to truly have incredible stained glass. Are you scared of snakes? Nope, snakes are Baby. Have you had your wisdom teeth removed? No; I only have two, and I just slightly have enough room for them. Do you like hard or soft pretzels better? I strongly prefer soft. Have you ever been carded when buying something? Yes. Do you eat meat? Regretfully. Can you sleep with the light on? NOOOOOOOOOO. I have to truly be exhausted. Have you ever broken a bone? No, but I did fracture my wrist as a kid. Have you ever made ice cream in chemistry class? Bitch I wish, tf. Do you use the microwave often? Considering a bitch can't cook, yes. Microwavable meals are the reason I am alive. Have you ever painted a room? No. What’s in your copy and paste? This survey. Do you know anyone that’s painfully, socially awkward? Fuckin ME JFC. How do you usually pose in your pictures? With the left side of my face facing the camera (bc my hair kinda swoops over the right side), and I'll usually smile with my teeth or do a :D face bc at least I look happy instead of high with my squinty-ass eyes. :') Do you know anyone that absolutely freaks out if you try to take a picture of them? um????????? me?????????????? Do you pick on them for it and attempt to take loads of pictures anyway? If someone doesn't want me to take a picture of them, I absolutely don't push them 'cuz I totally get it. How’s your posture? Bad. Have you ever had to take care of a fake baby in family ed? Thank God in Heaven no. I. Would. Have. Raged. ^ were you a good mother/father? N/A What’s your favorite way to wear your hair up? My hair is too short for that. But I generally find french braid buns SO pretty. Have you ever read a ‘banned’ book? Uh, I don't think so. What does your screen name mean? Favorite animal, meerkats, + favorite artist, Ozzy Osbourne. Have you ever had to take a sobriety test? N- no wait. They were mandatory when I've gone to the ER for suicidal thoughts. Do you like movies more if they’re based on actual events? It doesn't really matter to me. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done with your cell phone? Idk, dropped it? What’s your opinion on gold diggers? Selfish, or smart? Both? Uh, I don't think it's exactly debatable to call it selfish... I mean, you're dating for the sake of monetary gain...? What would you do if your bf/gf was hitting on someone else right in front of you? I couldn't even try to picture her doing that, but obviously I'd be uncomfortable and jealous. What’s something you’ve done that you’ve sworn you’d never do? Idk, multiple things. Which ex of yours do you talk to the most? I only talk to Girt. Can you recall the first person you ever drank/got drunk/high with? I drank with family, probably, but I've never reached the point of being drunk, and I've never been high. ^ are you still friends? I mean, I love my family. Have you ever taken someone else’s vehicle without permission? No. What were you doing the last time you were videotaped? *shrugs* Is that something you’d be comfortable uploading and sharing? I don't know what it would be. Which friend wears the same size clothes as you do? Probably none? I don't have many friends to compare to. Is there anyone’s wardrobe that you’d like to steal? UM Suzy Hanson is a B A B E? ?? ? ? ??? I adooooorrrrre her clothing line (Psychic Circle), too, and so wanna buy something. Have you ever been lost in the woods? DARLIN I've watched The Blair Witch Project 2 much for that shit. What did you last stretch the truth about? Idk. Have you ever had withdrawals from something? Caffeine, and then WoW for quite a few months after I stopped playing for like, a year or more. Is there anyone on your friend’s list you know next to nothing about? I know at least one of Mom's friends that I've only met once, and briefly. How old is 'too old’ for you to date? I wouldn't date over 30 (I absolutely stg that has nothing to do with H I S age being 30 lmaoooo). How do you feel about guys in tight jeans? Skinny jeans look good on like, anyone. Favorite hour-long show? Uhhh idk. Well, at least out of the shows I used to like and would be most interested in watching, The Good Doctor. Favorite half-hour show? Meerkat Manor. Most people who’ve slept over at your house all at once? My current house? Just one, I think. Steak or chicken? Chicken. I'm piiiiickyyyy w/ steak. Is flirting really cheating? Yes, if you're clearly not just teasing. What’s something you own that’s /only/ of sentimental value? My pebble from my partial hospitalization program. What’s your choice of chips? Girrrrrllll gimme Cool Ranch Doritos. What song would you use to torture someone? i t ' s  f r i d a y  f r i d a y What is the weirdest compliment you have ever received? Probably that my nose was cute? If someone REALLY fat was upset, and saying how FAT they were, what would you say? First off, NOT say "you're not fat omg ur beautiful." I'M overweight and don't like when people say that. I'm perfectly aware that you're lying "for my own sake," which is sweet, but it's not helpful. Motivate me/the person to improve without being an asshole. Let them know I believe in them, which I do for ANYONE. If I could lose 60-70 pounds in a year, anyone can. What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard a kid say? So when I was very little and my mom gave me orange juice, I freaked out because it had pulp in it. And what did I say? "I CAN'T DRINK THAT IT HAS NIPPLES IN IT" look idk don't ask but boy does Mom love sharing that story. A random stranger walks up to you and says 'you’re hot’. You say: Most likely "go away." Possibly "thank you, but please go away." Actually yeah, that's more likely. Like it's flattering to know someone finds you attractive, but yeah, that's just uncomfortable for some stranger to do that. I also wouldn't want to really piss the person off. Do you send messages on Facebook a lot? Definitely not. Almost the only person ever would be Girt. Have you ever gone to a strip club? No. Not my kinda scene. Like I absolutely will not think less of someone who does this, but I just don't like but moreso feel bad for men or women who reduce themselves to their sexual capabilities. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? Hell nah man. Pizza is supreme. What color is your watch? I'm not wearing one. I never do. Do you believe in love at first sight? Absolutely not. Visual attraction, of course that's real, but I promise you dear, you don't love someone upon looking at them. When you eat Frosted Flakes, do you add sugar in it? I hate that stuff. Who’s the biggest hugger you know? Ashley's father-in-law's mom. ... At least I think that's what she is? Do you want to change your name? Nah, it's fine. Have you ever tried to erase someone from your memory? Of course I have.

My New Way of Eating

Could I please have a May do over please? It seems that I spent the whole month of May either in the hospital, feeling sick, going to the doctor or in pain! After I wrote the last update about how things were going after my appendectomy, I was back at the doctor having fluid drained from below my right lung! I am never sick and this has really taken it’s toll on me mentally as well as physically. I was so thrilled to be finished with my antibiotic, but am now back on antibiotics for a while longer. I’ll find out how long on Wednesday at my appointment with the infectious disease doctor (sounds terrifying). This has been a HUGE wakeup call for me! I want to live the rest of my life feeling good and having the energy to do the things I want to do! It’s all about quality of life. What’s the point in living a long life if you’re too sick and tired to do anything and a burden on the people around you?

I’ve been continuing to read and learn as much as I can about how to eat better and make sure that I’m healthy from now on. I really do believe that what we put in our bodies directly affects our health even more than genetics. Here are a few facts about how our diets have changed over the years in this country!

In this country, we went from eating about 10 pounds of sugar per person, per year in 1800 to 152 pounds of sugar (and 146 pounds of flour) per person, per year today. On average, that’s one pound of sugar every single day! Sugar is added to absolutely everything, including ketchup, so become a label reader!

Sugar is addictive and those sugar loaded foods literally become drugs that disrupt our metabolism and make us fat and sick. Since sugar is so addictive, our brains need to be rewired and this takes work and determination. It would be so easy to stay in the same patterns of eating convenience foods and brushing the facts under the rug, but our quality of life and health depends on our choices at the grocery store.

Let’s send the trillion-dollar junk food industry a message and eat real food. That means foods nature created, which don’t come with barcodes, fake ingredients, or an ingredient list at all. Let’s support local farmers by buying food from farmer’s markets when possible. It’s more nutritious and the money is directly supporting families in your community.

Our brain chemistry believe it or not…regulates our weight and metabolism. There is so much to learn about metabolism. We’ve all been taught that we want a fast metabolism, but actually, the opposite is true. When your metabolism is high, your body is working too hard to break down the bad foods that you’re putting into it. According to Dr. Steven R. Gundry who wrote the longevity paradox, a fast metabolism may not be what you want. ”LONGEVITY MYTH #2 — FASTER METABOLISM = LONGER LIFE

Have you always envied your friends with rocket-speed metabolisms? You know, the friends who can eat anything and still remain rail thin?

Well, the latest studies reveal that, although occasional increases in metabolic rate due to exercise are beneficial, a constantly higher metabolism may be harmful and lead to early mortality. So, the truth is, a lower metabolic rate is actually better for your health.

Life is a marathon. Not a sprint.

If you operate at high energy levels all the time, you’re sure to burn out. You’ll just be putting your body through too much oxidative stress. Of course, if you’re conserving more energy, you’ll likely be able to run longer running at a lower metabolic rate.

As Dr. Gundry says in The Longevity Paradox: It’s better to be a Prius than a Maserati. Don’t you want to be a more efficient fuel burner? Get 50 miles to the gallon instead of only 19? Makes sense, doesn’t it?”

Eating the right foods sends a message to your brain to shut down hunger and cravings so you burn fat and feel great . Sugary, processed foods send the opposite message.

Making the right choices to opt for real, whole, unprocessed foods becomes crucial to ditching the junk food habit, but so do your emotional triggers and emotional health.

Whenever you get a strong desire for a chocolate chip cookie or other junk food, ask yourself two questions: What am I feeling?, and What do I need?. What you need can never be gotten by stuffing your face with junk. Emotional eating as a way of self medicating and whether it’s food or drugs or alcohol, self medicating is never the answer.

Changing lifestyle habits and making better choices isn’t always easy, but if you’re someone who cares about quality of life as you age, it is crucial! You have a chance, right now, to make the decision today to stop and detox, not only from junk food, but also from junk thoughts. We must de-clutter our bodies and our minds in order to live our best lives!

Cutting way back on sugar consumption is one thing that I’ll be working on, but the other and equally important thing is going back to being vegetarian (I will eat fish). I was a vegetarian for 18 years and honestly looking back, I felt better. Maybe it was because I was younger, but I also think it was because I was consciously making better food choices. I had endless energy and don’t ever remember feeling tired or sluggish. According to The Longevity Paradox as well as many many other sources, vegetarians live longer, healthier lives. You can find research that supports nearly anything, but the truth is…when you get down to the facts, no matter whether you eat meat or don’t, it’s about the quality of the food that goes into your body. You can be a vegetarian and eat nothing but M&M’s all day long. If you’re a person who doesn’t want to give up eating meat, consider cutting back to once or twice a week and make sure that the meat you eat comes from a good source, preferably local and organic. To read more about the pros and cons of being vegetarian, read this article from Mind Body Green written by Dr. B.J. Hardick.

Changing the way you eat can be a huge time commitment, but think about it this way…Is your quality of life worth a little bit of time spent planning and cooking meals and being mindful about what goes into your body? It really is that simple!

I’ve also heard the argument that eating more fruits and vegetables and shopping for quality food is more expensive, but I promise… it is much much much cheaper than the doctor bills you’ll receive if you don’t take care of yourself!

If you’re looking for guidance and inspiration, here are some of the books and websites that I feel are very helpful with information as well as recipes and lifestyle suggestions. I believe these sources to be legitimate and give sound advice.

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I love anything by Dr. Christiane Northrup. I have had several of her books, Including Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, for many years and use her as a reference regularly.

I’ve also mentioned The Longevity Paradox by Dr. Steven Gundry - this book will make so much sense if you read it all the way through! Dr. Gundry includes recipes and the science behind intermittent fasting.

The Blue Zones and The Blue Zones Solutions by Dan Buettner - Bestselling author Dan Buettner reveals how to transform your health using smart nutrition, lifestyle, and fitness habits gleaned from longevity research on the diets, eating habits, and lifestyle practices of the communities he's identified as "Blue Zones"—those places with the world's longest-lived, and thus healthiest, people

Website - Dr. B. J. Hardick - organic foodie and fanatic for green living and earthly sustainability. You’ll find recipes and great articles on living a healthy lifestyle.

Some of my favorite cookbooks are A Year In a Vegetarian Kitchen by Jack Bishop, Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone by Deborah Madison, and How to Cook Everything Vegetarian by Mark Bittman.

Having said all of this, I will not be a total crazy fanatic about my diet. If someone offers me a slice of homemade pie or a chocolate chip cookie fresh from the oven, I will say YES! I will also probably have the occasional slice of bacon with a garden fresh tomato in the summer and other “treats”, but for the most part, I will embrace and enjoy being a vegetarian, intermittent faster and all around healthy eater, knowing that I’m doing myself and those who love me the best favor ever!

You might enjoy these healthy recipes from past posts - Cilantro Lime Quinoa Bowls with Salmon, Strawberry Cocoa Energy Balls, Easy and Delicious Vegetarian Chili, and Roasted Carrot and Chickpea Bowls with Avocado.

I just want to mention one more thing. When I was a vegetarian before, I never felt as though I was depriving myself. Vegetables are delicious and there are so many ways to cook them. Combined with beans and grains and occasional pasta, you’ll never miss the meat!

{Anonymously or not, tell me who you ship my muse with. || Because this all honestly couldn’t fit into one ask and I didn’t want to split it up into multiple ones}

I know you are aware that I ship our muses for a fanfic I’m trying to write, but I’ve kept mention of it to a minimum on my blog because (1) don’t wanna make it seem like I expect something and force you along with it cuz that’s force shipping and that’s no bueno and didn’t want that coming off as my intention for rping because it really wasn’t. A disappointing and toxic roleplay group plus a mighty need to share my Nappa portrayal with Tumblr was (2) Our muses hadn’t interacted much anyways so who knew if they’d get along well enough?

I’ve been enjoying the threads we’ve had together, they’re worth waiting for and I am pleasantly surprised by how the two muses get along as friends. Their social chemistry is better than I expected, and the banter is so entertaining to read and write for both when they get along and when they don’t see eye-to-eye.  

I know your muse already has @asktenchi as an interested Tenchi and they do an awesome job being IC with him. There are also a great number of other muses that Ayeka gets along with too. However, if you and your muse ever feel a pull towards wanting more than friendship with Nappa, I’m gonna let you know that as of right now she’s one of the few muses I’ve had Nappa interact with that has a legitimate chance of sparking his interest for a romantic relationship. It’s alright if you don’t see it ever going down that road, because that can certainly happen too and both my muse and I would be fine with that. But I figured now was a good time to bring it up since this ask meme has had me thinking about this lately.

I know it may seem like a biased thing, but I’ve been lookin’ around at the other muses who try to flirt seriously with Nappa and…it’s difficult to find muses who have mutual chemistry with the big guy. The only one who did have mutual chemistry with him wasn’t interested in shipping at all so we kept it to flirtatious banter. She left Tumblr because she wanted to focus on her family, understandably. That was so many months ago and since then Nappa’s not felt anything like that from another muse.

Other interested female muses only remark on/compliment his physical appearance – mostly his muscles too lol – as what makes them interested. Honestly it makes me and my muse feel like Odette from the beginning of The Swan Princess. “Thank you…but what else?”

Again, I wanna reiterate that I love and value the friendship between our muses and if it only stays a friendship I’d be perfectly happy with that. And I hope I don’t make you feel uncomfortable bringing it up or make you think I will be counting on things to go down a romantic road. Just wanted to say while we do ship Ayeka with happiness and self-confidence first and foremost, we also wouldn’t turn her away from forming a ship with Nappa. 

////

Some things to clear up first: 1) Sydney @nappainanotherdimension​ and I have talked about this on Discord after this ask was sent [because uh, whoops thesis and grad school, I wasn't on tumblr???] so some of this may seem repetitive to her but new to you, dear followers; 2) Nyuck, nyuck, Odette. Who would be Derek then? 2) *Zsa-Zsa Gabor voice* Please. Ze followers. No drama.

Okay, now that this is already pretty long, my answer to this is under the cut. I'm not going to do point by point, bur rather a general full-fledged answer!

I've already told you this, but when I first found your personal blog, and went through your Tenchi tags, I really liked what you had reblogged and written in your personal text posts. It must have been one of the first pro-Ayeka --or at the very least, someone who appreciated Ayeka, because she might have not been your fave, I didn't know lmao-- blogs that had accumulated enough content related to Ayeka and/or Tenchi. I did notice that you, like me, were a fan of the...crossover ships ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

What I found "whadda heck" worthy was that you shipped Nappa with Ayeka! My first thought, to be honest, was "...the bald guy from the Team Four star memes?"

[ I knew of him from DBZ, but since most people my age apparently found out about him and liked him from the TFS videos, I thought maybe that's where your like of him came from? At the time, because now I know better :y ]

I'm the type of person who isn't a shipper hardcore, and for most ships that don't make sense to me initially, I go "okay, well, whatever floats her boat!" XD I did like the pieces of art there were, and I think I liked your Raditz/Mihoshi icon more because yay, somebody also appreciates Mihoshi! XD And they like the buddy cop angle of things? LMAO

But anyway, time passes, we get to chatting and then you say you want to make a blog. Cool! You want to make a blog for Nappa!

Aw, jiminy christmas.

Your worries that I'd think you were force shipping on me were the same as mine. I've seen it enough times on Tumblr that I honestly was surprised I found myself in a situation where that could've been a possibility. I enjoyed your fanfics, even the lemon ones lmao, just because they were funny but also it was me going okay, how does she believe this ship works again?

and lemme tell you, I am the absurdist around here in terms of crossover ships, both platonic and romantic. [We've talked about some others of our own too, nyuck nyuck.] I really wanted to understand because obviously, I supposed we were going to interact and I'd wanted to know how you saw them so I could back the heck away, ignore it, and try to do my thing with Ayeka properly. I didn’t really want to think of the ship when I wrote, I wanted to approach it as if Ayeka really did meet Nappa for the first time or had him enough time as a guest in your DBZ/TM verse.

Half of my worries went away when yay, you weren't going to force ship and wanted to actually interact! Whhhaaat, true build up of characters through rp on Tumblr dot com? The devil, you say!

And like you say, and I agree, the banter has been really fun? Surprisingly not really, Ayeka finally gets some respect in the manner that sometimes she doesn't get lmao. Her attempts at cooking, her own thoughts and views -- not saying everyone in the Masaki house's a jerk [they're not, and listen, Ayeka really does mean stuff too without thinking or on purpose] but you get different things with different people, and with Ayeka, it's probably getting some maturity and two-way respect in conversations befitting two super old people 8D

To be honest, sometimes I get a tinge of the cynic in me, and wonder if the writing turns out the way it does because maaaybe it's being geared towards something else? But then, like, I remember Nappa and Skuld --and Sasami!-- and how believable your headcanon about him and children is, how real it feels. Of course, the fact that you would write with anyone, and even with my Skuld who you know less about in comparison, just makes the cynic go shoo-shoo. You don’t seek out ships either -- like most people will notice if they peruse your blog, the ladies come to Nappa LMAO.

Plus, again, the threads are fun. I'm still laughing at the Xmas one where Nappa thinks Ryoko and Ayeka are the alpha females XD

In that sense, I can see why Ayeka throughout our rps would have a better chance with him. I mean I've seen your threads, it's pretty obvious who Nappa gets a conversation with, who Nappa gets a Conversation with, and who Nappa gets small talk-y with. Sometimes it's the writing, sometimes it's the character. That's the way rp works. Ayeka and Nappa have Conversations.™

I think I didn't really answer your ask as is, so I'll just say this, which applies to everyone: if the writing takes us that way, it takes us that way. I'm slowly beginning to see your crossover ship as it is, but still feel "hmm, but is it really?" It's like Ayeka and Fang: I didn't expect it, but the writing took those muses to some place along the lines of "are they...or are they???!" I would hope the end result takes us somewhere where we’re both satisfied with whatever relationship our muses have.

Or maybe you know, either polyamory polygyny or Nappa fights Tenchi, I guess. [I vote for the Pay Per View fight during the Space Travels arc of Universe.]

A System of Sides: Chapter Fourteen

A/N: Don’t be confused by the end of this chapter, there’s one last chapter after this!

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Words: 3,356

Warnings: yelling, astral projection mention, fear of abandonment, car accident mention

Thomas had barely closed the door after Virgil stormed in, steaming mad and out for blood, and Virgil was already growling out questions. "What did I ever do to you?!"

Virgil didn't get any response from Thomas other than a confused blink, and Virgil growled. "I don't understand! What do the others have that I don't?! After all these years, how could you do this to me! You're my best friend, Thomas! Or at least, I thought you were!"

Thomas held up his hands. "Woah, hang on, Virgil. I don't even know what you're talking about."

"You don't even know what I'm talking about," Virgil repeated hollowly. He chuckled. "Well, I guess that seals it! I'm nothing more than dirt, am I?! No, because you'd rather have the others be your friends than me!"

"What?! No!" Thomas exclaimed. "Virgil, where would you even get that idea?!"

Virgil shook in his anger as he growled out, "Well, you seemed all too eager to talk to them first! And hey, it's not like they've always shut me out, giving me the idea that they're better than me! Or at least, that they think they are..."

Thomas sighed. "Virgil, do you need a hug?"

Virgil took a shaky breath and shook his head. "I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity, it's legitimate concern," Thomas said. "Please? You're shaking."

Virgil sighed, putting his binder on Thomas' bed and shrugging. "Let's just get it over with, then."

Thomas stepped closer and hugged him, while Virgil held his hands close to his chest. Virgil sighed and continued to shake, but all the anger was draining from his body, to be left with the raw fear that had been fueling his rage. He didn't want to be forgotten; he didn't want the others to replace his position as Thomas' friend. Even if Virgil wasn't Thomas' best friend, Thomas was certainly Virgil's, and it scared him beyond belief to possibly lose his best friend. "Thomas," he whispered. "I'm scared."

He was just hugged tighter. "I know you are," Thomas whispered. "I am too."

Virgil looked up and Thomas took a step back, ending the hug. One one hand, Virgil was glad, seeing as how a serious discussion was probably about to arise. On the other hand, he really needed the touch and didn't want it to end. "Why would you be scared?" Virgil forced himself to ask. "You have everything going for you right now; you're finally free from being frontstuck, the others are working on a plan to get us all out of this mess, and they absolutely adore you! You don't have a reason to be scared! At least...none that I can see."

"I was just reunited with three of my friends from childhood who have all been watching me for years even though I barely knew they existed, and I have to trust them with my life if I want to get out of this situation at all. They've grown up and changed in ways that I never could have imagined, and all of them are ready to defend me to their dying breath, but not each other. I would say that's plenty reason to be scared," Thomas pointed out.

Thomas did make a good point when he really wanted to, much as Virgil really didn't want to admit it. "Okay, so we're both scared, what's that going to get us?" Virgil asked. "All it means is that the both of us might be nervous wrecks when we're needed most."

"Not if we reassure each other that everything will be all right," Thomas said. "You know the three out there better than I do, do you believe that they can get us out of this?"

Virgil thought it over. After everything he had been through; the taunts, the teasing, the feelings of being unwelcome, he still believed in the others as much as he believed in himself or Thomas. "Yeah," he said. "They can get us through this. What about you?"

Thomas blinked. "What about me?"

"Are you going to let them get in-between us?" Virgil asked. "Get so caught up in new friends that you forget about old ones?"

"Of course not," Thomas said. "I would never do that willingly or wittingly. You and I are going to be friends through-and-through until the end."

Virgil smirked. "Ride or die, right?"

"You know it," Thomas laughed. "What's with the binder, by the way? I didn't see you have it downstairs so it must have been important for you to grab it while I was up here."

Virgil felt his ears heat up, suddenly very self-conscious. "Oh, right, that..." He cleared his throat. "Those are, uh, letters to you. From when I'd get really frustrated or angry or scared and needed to calm down, but either couldn't come to your room or wouldn't due to how freaked out I was. Now that you're not frontstuck, and can leave front if necessary, I wouldn't have to be giving the body a panic attack if I talked to you. So the letters are a bit of a moot point. I want you to have them."

Thomas frowned. "You...want me to have them?" he repeated. "Aren't these really personal?"

Virgil shrugged. "Yeah, but I trust you not to show them to anyone else, and that binder's pretty full anyway. It's about time I started a new one."

Thomas looked over at the binder and offered a small grin. "I really don't know what to say, Virgil, thank you. I'm touched you'd trust me with this. I also think it's sweet that in times of stress, you'd write to me, of all people."

"I took over your anxieties from a very young age, I figured the least that you could do in return was be a pretend audience to all the things I saw possibly going wrong." Virgil shook his head. "It all sounds really cheesy saying it out loud, but there's no one I trust more than you, Thomas, I mean it. Patton and Roman and Logan? I mean, they're great guys, but I don't want to tell them my deepest, darkest secrets. You know all of those already. You were the first person I came to when I realized there was a possibility I might not be straight and was wondering if my whole life was a lie, for goodness sake! I can't think of someone I'd trust more!"

Thomas smiled and Virgil mirrored the expression. "I'm really glad you're not stuck at front anymore, it's been too long," Virgil said.

"I know. I'm really glad to see all of you again, but I'm especially glad that you don't have to astral-project yourself into my room just to have a conversation anymore. I could come to your room if I needed to!" Thomas said.

"Uh, my room has a reputation for giving anyone who enters except me panic attacks, so I wouldn't recommend that. But the emotions behind that still stand, it's nice to be free to roam around," Virgil agreed. "I have no doubt Roman will want to take you on adventures in the Inner World, and Logan will want to do research and projects in here with you again, and Patton will probably just want to sit next to you on the couch in the Common Room and possibly cuddle. He's clingy."

Thomas laughed. "Well he can't be all bad if you're endorsing him. Clingy isn't even a bad thing, necessarily!"

"I know it's not, but it's nice to have fair warning when it comes to being tackled in a hug," Virgil said with a sly grin.

"Oh, wow, I can hardly wait to see what's going on with everyone these days," Thomas said. "Besides the arguing, I mean. I can live without the arguing."

"Can't we all?" Virgil asked. "I don't really know what goes on outside arguing either. Usually we just...cofront or mill around. Don't tell anyone, but I garden outside in the courtyard. Patton may or may not color, or possibly make coloring pages? Logan cooks. And Roman...well, he's almost always on one adventure or another when he's not cofronting."

"Logan cooks?" Thomas asked, mildly surprised.

"I think he compares it to chemistry," Virgil said with a shrug. "I was just as confused as you when he figured out that he really liked it. Roman always turns the food psychedelic colors before Logan cooks, if at all possible. Sometimes the end result of Logan's cooking looks like radioactive sludge because of it. But it's still cool."

"Eating something that looks like radioactive sludge could be fun, and I imagine it can't be any more unhealthy than my regular eating habits," Thomas joked.

Virgil smiled. "I'm...glad we're still good. I was worried that the others would push me out of the picture..."

"Of course they won't, I won't let them," Thomas assured. "You are just as important as them, Virgil, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, okay? You're just as important, and just as helpful, and just as much a part of this group as any of them are. You understand?"

Tears pricked Virgil's eyes as he nodded, a watery smile taking over his face. "Thank you," he whispered in a raspy voice. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Of course," Thomas said, opening his arms. "Come here, Virge."

And Virgil threw himself into Thomas' arms, too happy about sticking around to worry about what anyone else might think or what it would do to his reputation. He was part of a family, and no one could take that away from him now.

After a time, Virgil pulled away and wiped at his cheeks to remove any traces of him crying. "Should we go downstairs and see if the others have a plan for getting us out of this situation?" he asked.

"Yeah, let's go," Thomas said.

And so the two opened Thomas' door and walked down the steps, confident in their ability to get out of this mess alive.

The three others all welcomed Thomas and Virgil with open relief. "What was the yelling about in there?" Patton asked. "Something wrong?"

"No, just a little misunderstanding, is all," Virgil brushed off. "What do you guys have by way of a plan for getting out of here?"

"Actually, we were waiting for you two to come to a conclusion in your conversation before we fully formulated a plan. It would be best for everyone involved if we had approval from the two of you as well as our own personal opinions," Logan said. "We know of the steps we have to take in order to get home, but how we achieve those steps is still up for much debate."

"Why don't we just front and work on it as we go?" Virgil suggested.

Logan and Roman looked at him like he had grown a second head. "Wh-what?" Roman asked.

"Well, we can plan all we like but getting home sooner rather than later would be nice, and all that planning could come to a stop because if we move five feet away we could get cell service again. All of us can be coconscious and we can work together on the plan as we go," Virgil proposed. "Any objections?"

Patton raised his hand. "What if we don't know what to do in the middle of something and uh...we freeze up again?"

"Better to be somewhere someone can see us and call for help than argue over it here and risk getting into more trouble," Virgil reasoned. "I think it would just be faster if we started walking."

There was a pregnant pause as everyone considered this. "I trust you, Virge. Always have and always will, so I'm with you on this one," Thomas said.

"It does have logical reasoning behind it," Logan allowed.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt us," Roman agreed.

"Who's going to front and who's going to be coconscious here?" Patton asked.

"I can front," Thomas said. "Anyone want to cofront?"

"I can," Virgil said. "I'll keep an eye out for possible danger and possible help."

"Roman and I can focus on the plan if we are simply coconscious so I won't object if nothing untoward happens," Logan said.

"I'll make sure no one gets too worked up!" Patton volunteered.

Virgil looked at Thomas and Thomas was looking right back at him, a kind smile on his face. "You ready?" Thomas asked him.

Virgil nodded and closed his eyes, forcing the Inner World away so he could focus on outside.

The first thing he felt was pain. It was traveling up from his legs and radiating from his forehead. The airbags had deployed, and the front of the car had crumpled. "The insurance company is going to have a field day," Thomas muttered next to him.

Virgil laughed. He couldn't help it; that was something only Thomas would worry about. Then again, in this system it was hard to say anyone was responsible about the outside world except Thomas.

Undoing his seat belt, Virgil tried opening the driver's side door. It opened a little bit, enough to let the rain in, but not enough to get out. There was some rock or something on the outside that was blocking it.

"I suppose we'll be climbing out the back, then," Logan said from somewhere behind Virgil.

"Yup," Virgil sighed, clambering over the space between the front two seats that was filled with suspicious trash. "You really need to clean this car, Thomas."

"I know," Thomas sighed. "Not exactly my finest moment, I haven't had a lot of time to myself lately."

Virgil snorted. "Time to yourself? You are joking. You share a head with four other people."

"Time alone at front, then," Thomas said as he opened the back door to the car.

Virgil climbed out and inspected the car. "Dude, that is completely totaled. Glad we somehow didn't die, though."

Thomas made a dry laugh. "Yeah, I guess not dying is pretty good."

Virgil checked the cell phone. Still no cell signal. "Thomas? Do you know the way home?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah, hang on..." Thomas said. "I can't give you exact directions, but I can tell you where to go if we follow the road back the way we came."

"Joy," Virgil said. He took a step forward and felt a sharp pain from his ankle. "Ow!"

"Ooh, that's sprained," Thomas said. "I'm pretty sure that's sprained."

Virgil shifted his weight to his other foot, which was thankfully fine. "So we have to hop our way home? Because last I checked we don't drag around medical boots everywhere we go."

"Just try not to focus on the pain, for now," Logan said. Virgil could see in his mind's eye Logan adjusting his glasses, even though he was fairly certain he wasn't actually seeing Logan. "We can get treatment for the ankle later. I'm surprised that's the only problem that's shown itself so far."

Virgil took another step, wincing at the pain. The rain was still coming down, which wasn't helping his mood much, and even Thomas felt to be in low spirits. "We can't walk very far like this," he said. "Let's hope we get somewhere with a cell signal soon."

"Oh!" Roman exclaimed, causing Virgil to nearly make the body jump. "How far away is the nearest fast-food place?! They almost always have free Wi-Fi!"

"I think it was at the last corner, but that was all the way up the hill and maybe another quarter-mile from there," Thomas said.

Virgil grit his teeth. "Better start moving then," he mumbled.

Every step with his bad ankle caused him to wince but he forced down the pain as much as he could. He was a protector at his core, this is what he was made for, he could do this.

The rain was beating down harder if that was possible and the wind was picking up but Virgil just kept walking. He didn't know where Thomas' friends wanted to go that involved taking this back road, but he didn't want to make plans to go there ever again.

Step left, step right, breathe through the pain, you've got this Virgil, you can do this. A mantra going through his head the whole time, Virgil dragged himself up the hill, walking for as long as he could before the pain became to much and he started limping, tears forming in his eyes from the pain, but he could do this, he was the original protector, he was strong, he could fight...

Thomas was by his side the whole time, helping them walk, looking up the road for any cars, practicing what he'd say if someone stopped to ask if he was okay.

Virgil tripped and stumbled into the mud, but got up and kept walking. He could do this. His single-handed stubborn determination and his fear of dying out here alone were enough to get him up the hill, where his legs almost gave out.

"Hey, Virge, you did great, why don't you let me do most of the walking now?" Thomas offered.

"Because you'll feel the pain," Virgil said.

"I feel it already, Virge, we're cofronting. But you're pushing yourself almost over the edge and I don't want you getting hurt," Thomas said. "Let me do the worrying for a little while."

"Can't," Virgil said. "This is what I resort to in emergencies, and if I calm down during this then something's more wrong with me than the situation."

Thomas sighed. "Well, I suppose I can see where you're coming from. Still, if you let me focus on the walking I think you'd feel a little better."

Virgil, feeling too tired to even argue at this point, nodded and let Thomas take control of the legs. He used the extra focus that had been going into that to now examine his head.

He felt along his hair line and winced as he went a little lower. Hitting the airbags hard was bound to leave a bruise; he just hoped they didn't have a concussion.

The fast-food place came into view, and Virgil helped Thomas move faster until they were in the doorway and there were people coming over to check on them. "Sir, are you all right?" one woman asked.

Thomas took over the mouth, an action for which Virgil would be eternally grateful. "I got into a car accident down the road, I had no cell service. Is there Wi-Fi here? I need to call Triple-A for a tow-truck, at least."

People were fussing over him but he was told that yes, there was Wi-Fi. Someone asked if they should call an ambulance, which freaked Virgil and Patton out more than a bit, but Logan said might not be a bad idea. At the very least, someone needed to check them over, and it wasn't like they could simply drive to the ER.

The rest of the evening was a bit of a blur, if Virgil was being honest. Thomas called a tow-truck, and an ambulance came to the fast-food place and the paramedics checked them over, concluding they had a mild concussion and a sprained ankle, as well as some cuts no one had noticed.

Thomas also called Joan and explained the long and short of what had happened, asking them for a ride home and a chance to reschedule once the ankle boot they needed was gone and the concussion had cleared up.

Obviously they got home somehow, Thomas took off the clothes they had been wearing and quickly showered to get most of the mud and grime off the body. But then it was a quick change into sweatpants before Thomas collapsed on the bed, and Virgil was drifting in and out of front when he felt Thomas hug him in the Inner World, help him to his room, and Virgil was out like a light, content in knowing that they were (relatively speaking) safe.

Tag List: @loganpatton @lizzysperil @tree4life25 @nyxwordsmith @docetuga @wingedkuriboh27 @virgilient @cookieartcannon @jordandobbertin @pr0bablypr0crstinating @hissesssss @areyousirius-noheisdead @lilbeanblr @kittyboof8 @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @sanders-trash-4ever @hamilspntrash @swords-and-kittens

'Outlander' Postmortem: Lauren Lyle analyzes Marsali's relationships with Fergus, Jamie, and Claire

Lauren Lyle as Marsali and César Domboy as Fergus in ‘Outlander’ (Photo: Starz)

Warning: This interview contains spoilers for the “Heaven and Earth” episode of Outlander.

Here’s how you know that Nell Hudson and Lauren Lyle are perfectly cast as Outlander‘s mother and daughter team of Laoghaire and Marsali, respectively. Even in real life, they’re each other’s biggest fans. Speaking with Yahoo Entertainment recently, Hudson called her on-screen daughter “awesome,” and now Lyle is returning the compliment. “She’s amazing,” the British actress says of Hudson. “When we first met, we laughed because we look so similar.”

Of course, the striking resemblance between the two wasn’t the sole reason that Lyle landed the role of Laoghaire’s eldest child. “It was more the attitude,” Lyle says. “Matthew [Roberts, one of Outlander‘s executive producers] told me that the minute I left the audition they were like, ‘That’s it, we found her.’ The resemblance is an extra bonus on top of everything else!”

In another case of like mother, like daughter, Marsila is currently none too happy with lovers Jamie and Claire Fraser, whose happy reunion none-too-happily ended Jamie’s admittedly strained marriage to her mom. But she’s keeping it all in the family, after a fashion. Jamie’s no longer her adopted father figure — he’s now her adopted father-in-law. Having carried on a secret romance with Fergus, the boy Jamie helped raise to adulthood, the two arranged a hasty marriage before stepping aboard the Jamaica-bound ship ferrying the elder Frasers in their pursuit of Young Ian. It was so hasty that Jamie, for one, doesn’t consider it legitimate, although as we saw in tonight’s episode, he was willing to overlook that detail if the lovers agreed to help him out of a jam.

We spoke with Lyle about the ways in which Marsali is — and isn’t — like her mother, and whether she and Claire are destined to be friends… and maybe even family.

When I spoke with your onscreen mom, Nell Hudson, I asked if she felt that, other failings aside, Laoghaire was at least a good mother to Marsali and Joan. Do you imagine her a strong maternal presence? Nell and I discussed that a little bit. Laoghaire has been married a couple of times; she had one husband that she had me with and another that she had my sister with. When he died, she brought the kids up on her own until marrying Jamie. But Jamie hasn’t really been around; he’s been in and out, and a bit of a ghost since Claire left, so he’s not really a father figure to Marsali. Laoghaire has had to be very, very strong, because she’s had no other option except to bring up these two girls alone. Marsali’s loyalties definitely lie with her mother over anyone else.

Nell also told me that family dinner with the four of them would have been a lot of Laoghaire talking at Jamie. What do you think their dinners might have looked like?   I think it would be very female dominated! [Laughs] Jamie wouldn’t have been allowed much of a say. Maybe Laoghaire would have come up with the recipe, and Jamie would cook. He wouldn’t get to make any decisions at all. Marsali would probably be the one to make the decisions. As the first born, she’s the miracle child, so Laoghaire loves her and would let her take the reins from time to time.

Since he’s not a father figure, what is Jamie to Marsali now? Marsali sees him as a convenience more than anything else; she’s never seen him as someone she has to get permission from. I think Fergus’s loyalties like with Jamie more than hers do! When the girls were younger, Jamie was good fun, but he and Marsali haven’t developed much of a relationship as she’s gotten older. Especially after finding out about Claire, everything falls to pieces in terms of how she perceives him. What’s funny is that Sam [Heughan] and I have a great relationship on set! He makes me laugh, and we’re probably the ones that mess around the most. So to have to be harsh and brittle with each other is strange.

I was kind of on Laoghaire’s side when she discovered that Jamie hadn’t told Claire about his “other wife.” He didn’t come off looking too good with the way he handled the situation. Yeah, I think it’s great because it was his choice, wasn’t it? No one forced him to marry Laoghaire. He was in a dark place and saw a little light with Marsali and Joan, so I think that’s what drew him in. He also realized that Laoghaire had changed a little bit by then, and they could maybe be a kind of support for each other. So he was never forced to marry her, but he had a responsibility and he had to honor it. Which I think he does, especially with Marsali. He honors his role in her life, and tries to be responsible for her and doesn’t cast her away by any means, which is good.

We don’t really get the backstory of how Marsali and Fergus’s romance started. Did you and César Domboy come up with a history for them? I think we decided that they’d grown up around each other; they live in the same area, so they’d see each other a lot, and since she’s younger, it would have been Marsali looking toward Fergus. So it happened over time, and we thought of them as a well-balanced unit. Marsali in no way conforms to the century’s norms, and Fergus has had a colorful life as well, so they find each other. César and I didn’t meet until we did the first read-through, so we tried to form a relationship outside of the show. When we were in South Africa [where the shipboard sequences were shot], we hung out a lot and became good mates that way. That really helped on set, because having chemistry as friends meant that we were comfortable with each other.

Marsali and Fergus could have gotten Jamie’s blessing for their marriage had they agreed to free him from the ship’s prison, but they end up not going through with it. What was the significance of that choice to you? It shows that they’re adults. They’ve already made this huge decision to leave Scotland and run away together, so at this point it’s about growing up and making a mature decision that they feel is best for everyone involved, including themselves. Marsali knows the dangers of letting Fergus do what he wants, because that can impact their relationship and leave her alone. It’s also a moment where they have to think of their relationship as being something more serious than just a fling. They want to be together for the rest of their lives, and this decision could really impact that. So you see a whole new layer to who they are at this stage in life, and the tendencies you’ll see more of as the series goes on.

Sam Heughan as Jamie Fraser in ‘Outlander’ (Photo: Starz)

They do take the idea of matrimony seriously. Is that maybe a reaction to what Marsali has seen growing up? I think so. It’s also about making [their relationship] legitimate in everyone else’s eyes; people haven’t been taking them seriously up to this point — they’ve gotten the impression that it’s just a fling and they’ll be over it in time. But they really do mean this, it’s not just a little bit of fun. Marsali isn’t particularly educated, and comes from a tiny place. Now she’s headed into something completely unknown, and Fergus is all she’s got. And she’s all he’s got!

She claims not to care about Fergus’s previous romantic history, but is there a part of her that’s bothered by it at all? How César and I discussed it is that the two of them have no secrets. She knows about his past. Part of me thinks she does just move on from it. He’s dedicated himself to her, and hasn’t done anything but be with her. He also doesn’t treat her the way he’s treated anyone else; she’s something completely different to him, and his behavior alters when he’s around her. She’s too much of a force for him to let go of, and I think she’s quite confident in the way he feels for her. So she doesn’t let it eat away at her; since being with him, she’s had no reason to feel that way.

Do you think Marsali had romantic interests prior to Fergus, or has he always been the one? I think there have definitely been people she’s attracted to and flirted with. But I don’t think she’s been with anyone else or certainly slept with anyone else. She’s 18 and hasn’t seen much of the world or seen other men. Fergus is someone she’s known for a long time and has probably loved for quite a while. So he’s the one, I think. There’s no one else in competition.

It’s fun to see how Claire and Marsali are both more at ease on the open water than either Fergus or Jamie. They’re also the only two women on the ship, so that alone takes a lot of confidence. It was important to me for Marsali to be comfortable, cool and able. So often you see women onscreen who are depicted as being weaker or finding everything hard. These women don’t feel that way, and take to sailing quite naturally. Marsali has lived on a farm, is a hard worker and has no issues with adventure in any way. This is just another adventure she sails onto… pardon the pun! [Laughs]

You filmed those sequences on ships previously used by the Starz show Black Sails. Did those environments help you get into the spirit of 18th century seafaring? Oh yeah, 100 percent. They were proper, big, functioning machines, and when you got onto them, they would gimbal and whip you around as ships would in the water. At times that could make you a little seasick! Claire and Marsali have come from Scotland, so they have layers and layers of clothing on. So the heat of South Africa really helped, because that was how we were supposed to feel. There were times when I’d be in costume, the sun was beating down, and I thought I was going to die! And that’s probably quite accurate; they wouldn’t have been comfortable on the ship. There was minimal crew on the boats as well, and the actors could do all the activities with the ropes and stuff. The scale of it was vast.

Marsali and Claire are at odds now, but it’s clear that the two of them are alike in many ways. Caitriona [Balfe] and I had a lot of discussions about whether Claire was a mother figure, and the fact that she’s missing Brianna. But Marsali’s not her daughter; that’s not what we were going for. Marsali sees a real edge to Claire that she also sees in herself. Other than her own mother, she hasn’t seen many other women that have that edge. She sees Claire as someone who is quite intimidating at times, and demands respect. Obviously, Marsali doesn’t want to give her that because of how her mother feels about her, but she’s drawn to Claire’s views of the world and her smarts. She’s seen a lot and Marsali also wants to see a lot. I think that’s why they clash and, eventually, why they bond. You’ll get a glimpse of the beautiful relationship forming between them in the next episode. It becomes about putting old arguments aside and understanding each other. Marsali’s got a lot to learn and Claire teaches her.

Is it fair to say that these four become a family by the time the season ends? For sure — we become a team. In Episode 12, there’s a big Governor’s ball and some very dramatic things happen there. I think that’s when Jamie and Claire know they can start trusting Marsali and Fergus when they need help. A family and a unit really does happen, and you’ll see it. It’s really cool if you compare Marsali from where she starts to where she ends up. There’s a really nice moment at the end of the season between her and Claire that shows they’ve gone full circle.

Outlander airs Sundays at 8 p.m. on Starz.

Read more from Yahoo Entertainment:

‘Outlander’ postmortem: Nell Hudson on being the other Mrs. Fraser

‘Outlander’ postmortem: John Bell talks Ian’s ‘cool uncle’ Jamie Fraser

‘Outlander’ Postmortem: How production designer Jon Gary Steele built the ‘A. Malcolm’ print shop

Compliment of Questionnaire Tag Games

Since I have three of these stored up from the past two or three weeks, I’m just going to stick them all here. 

Tagged by @writerkaitlinm...

1. If you could stay one age forever, what age would you choose?

Probably 27. At this point, I’m still getting people who think I just graduated high school, so I think I need a few more years before I look like a legit adult.

2. If you were running for political office, what would your campaign slogan be?

“Please don’t elect me, I hate politics”...?

3. What is your favorite “bad” movie?

Oh man, that’s tough. I haven’t seen The Room yet, which is rather disgraceful, but you can’t go won’t with Neil Breen movies. 

4. What Hogwarts house would you be most surprised to be sorted into?

I used to think slytherin, but now I’m pretty sure I’ve transitioned into ravenclaw. So if I was actually going to hogwarts I would’ve been a slytherin student, because that’s were I aligned in middle and high school, but I probably would have had a lot of ravenclaw friends and went into a very ravenclaw field of work.

5. You’re supposedly the last person on earth, and someone knocks on your door. Who would you be most horrified to find out is the only other person alive?

Trump. There’s probably someone I would be more horrified over but I can’t decide at the moment. 

6. What book has had the biggest impact on your life?

There is one particular book series which motivated me to deal with some of my mental health problems, to read for fun after not getting through an entire book since high school, and to start writing again after not having put a single word down on anything for over two years, but as it’s consider “too problematic” on tumblr I won’t release the name of it quiet.

7. How do you get rid of stress?

Exercising really helps, but usually I just sit away and cry instead. 

8. Asking questions or answering questions?

Both, depending on the subject. 

9. What’s your favorite Olympic sport?

Ice skating!

10. What app is a must have?

Discord, because it’s where I talk to all my international friends.

11. What would you rate 10/10?

It’s hard to say I would rate anything 10/10, except maybe something vague, like the Isle of Skye.

Tagged by @scribble-dee-vee...

1. Do you prefer books with an emphasis on character building, world building, or plot development?

All three, preferably! If I absolutely have to choose one, good characters will pull me through an otherwise bad book, but I don’t think you can have a genuinely good book without all three being well focused on and thought through.

2. Do you watch a lot of television? If so, what are some of your favorite shows?

I only watch tv on netflix on occasion. Some of the shows I’ve enjoyed, off the top of my head, include Parks and Rec, Leverage, Stranger Things, Voltron, and Blacklist. And my all time favorite show in all existence, Avatar; the Last Airbender. 

Currently I’m watching iZombie, which is pretty enjoyable in it’s own quirky way.

3. What’s the most acceptable book-to-screen adaptation in your opinion?

The first three Harry Potter movies and the LoTR movies (not including the Hobbit series.)

4. What’s the least acceptable book-to-screen adaptation in your opinion?

AtLA and Percy Jackson totally never ever had movies made after them, so probably have to say Eragon, though the book itself wasn’t spectacular. 

5. How do you feel about the last book you read?

Good Omens. Absolutely fantastic. 

6. Which of your favorite fictional characters would you most want to meet?

Probably Dejean. I just love him so much, and also I have faith that he both wouldn’t kill me and wouldn���t do something totally innocent which accidentally results in death.

7. Which of your favorite fictional characters would you least want to meet?

Most of them would kill me...

8. Cake or ice-cream? Discuss.

Eh. Ice cream if it has fruit in it, but cake if it’s moist with the perfect amount of sugar in the frosting.

9. Tell me about your favorite oc or character from a current WIP! You know the one :D (if you don’t have any, feel free to gush about a favorite from a book or movie instead)

Kleos. But I can’t actually say anything about them because it’s major spoilers.

10. What’s your favorite outfit?

I’m a comfort over fashion type person, so my workout clothes are legitimately my favorite. 

I really want a giant cloak tho...

11. What’s your classification in your favorite series? (ex, Hogwarts house, Homestuck classpect, godly parent, Voltron lion, etc.)

I dunno to be honest. I was really into that through high school and most of university, and then I just stopped caring for the last couple years, so I’m not sure I would even be in most of them.

Tagged by @roselinproductions...

1. If you could learn all the careers you ever wanted to be in a single year, what would you study?

Pretty much everything but history. Computer programming, organic chemistry, medicine, theoretical math, quantum physics, animation, literature, acting, anthropology, and a whole lot more immunology. 

2. Tomorrow’s the last day of the universe. You have 24 hours to do anything you want, no limits. What will you be doing in the last seconds of our universe’s existence?

Hiking to some crazy ancient ruins in the jungle. OR skydiving down to them. And then swimming by a waterfall.

3. First ever film you remember watching in a movie theater?

I honestly don’t remember. 

4. Have you ever met a celebrity/role model/king or queen and who was it?

Never. 

5. What do you do when you’re bored?

Turn on music and clean, while singing. 

6. What type of food would you sell if you opened a restaurant?

Putting aside the fact that I can’t cook and I’m pasty white, I would probably open some sort of Mongolian stir fry, because that’s what my favorite restaurant is, and I would kill to be able to eat it whenever I wanted.  

7. What year has been the best of your life and why?

The year I lived in Scotland for the fall. 

8. How do you react when you see an animal pass by while walking down the street?

... Usually I’m oblivious, so I don’t do anything. 

9. How would you survive the Hunger Games?

Do an awful lot of hiding and sneaking around, but try to pick people off quietly and quickly so I wouldn’t have to worry about growing weak from lack of food or water. Probably climb a lot of trees and rocks and attack from the air or behind.

10. Would you rather live up to age 20 having lived the success of all your wildest dreams or live up to age 90 having lived simply a beautiful ordinary life?

I don’t have any desire to live to be 90 anyways, so the first option sounds ideal. 

11. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but never have because of fear?

For a while now I’ve wanted to tell certain members of my family (including my parents) about my sexuality, but I’m deathly afraid of their reaction. I would also love to drop everything and travel the world, but I’m (rightly) afraid that I’d run out of money before getting on the first plane.