Sad sack time because tumblr is the place to post something and watch it vanish into oblivion (in a good way).

I just spent my birthday with Covid despite trying desperately to keep myself and my partner safe because we HAVE to travel for work. The antivirals are kicking both of our asses. I can barely function to work at a crawl. My grandmother died day after my birthday, good riddance, but I'm worried for my mother who's dealing with it and her sisters who aren't doing the best right now. Overall I'm very lucky to have the life I do, but right now I just want to crawl into a hole and either feel ok-ish again or stop existing.

If Covid makes my chronic pain or fatigue worse again like it did the first time I'm going to strangle the entire CDC to death with my bare hands. Also every person who walks into the booth without a mask on. I watched someone cough directly into her fucking hand and then touch my partner's art. EVEN WITHOUT COVID THAT ISNT OK YOU FUCKING KNOB BRAIN.

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

I got invited to a Lancer game so I made my character the 40+ butch mom from next door and ran with the idea that her NHP is basically her son.

Things happening that trigger my CPTSD is, understandably, triggering. But then things go ok and are good for a while and I am confusedly still triggered. By things going ok.

THEN SOMETHING HAPPENS TO GENUINELY TRIGGER ME AGAIN AND SOMEHOW I AM BOTH TRIGGERED AND RELIEVED. WHY? BRAIN? hELLO????

"yeah gender is infinite and all but you can only have 1 of 4 sexualities and if you label your sexuality in a way i deem wrong you're a bad person" genuinely how some of you sound sometimes.

I am NB in the 'Agender'-ish way, my partner is NB in the 'All-Gender' kind of way, but I'm the one that actively seeks out intentionally fem and masc looks whereas their desire is to simply be comfy and neutral and butch. I was raised as gender expectationless and as presentation expectationless as is feasible from parents who didn't do it intentionally, in communities that were very mixed in cultures and ethnicities, they were raised by Catholics in the middle of nowhere who had a lot of expectations but no good skills at communicating them so it was mostly 'guess right or we'll be upset with you'.

We have conversations semi regularly about what our genders/presentations/sex means to us and how things might have shifted since we last talked. We both struggle with perceptions and expectations. We both worry about if we're bowing to pressures from in the community and from the wider culture. It's not easy, it's not simple, it's not straight forward. And for a while, years ago, I worried that I was just a pretender. That I just wanted to 'feel special' and was detracting from the trans movement by existing.

And it's not just NB people; I cannot count the number of wonderful trans men and women I have seen who are gender non-conforming in some capacity (trans butch lesbians for instance) who have to work twice as hard to deal with BS from transphobic people while ALSO not having their struggles usually acknowledged by trans supporters. Not all trans fems want higher voices, not all trans mascs want to grow body hair, ect.

I genuinely want the trans community and our allies to abandon 'transwomen are women, trans men are men, NB people are valid' mentality that leads to an over-abundance of these kinds of jokes OP is talking about. Instead re-embrace an older and much more uniting and acknowledging phrase:

TRANS LIBERATION NOW.

I really hate when there is a good post about positivity for trans men and trans women that address pressures each have to conform to a specific idea of things, appropriately reacting to struggles for gender roles and presentation and combatting internalized conflict…

And then the “nonbinary positivity” tacked on by a third poster is like “teehee we’re cryptids so we are immune to social pressures so we’re going to give you a sword, go forth and conquer the castle!” instead of recognizing a pressure to meet both or none of the expectations for trans men and trans women.

Posts like

Person 1: Trans men, it’s okay if your voices are high.

Person 2: Trans women, it’s okay if your voices are low!

Person 3: NB cuties it’s okay if you can’t cast 5th level spells on your first try :3

As if the presentation for nonbinary people is not both the pressure to conform to their agab from larger society AND within queer spaces a pressure to either conform to one binary gender OR be a thin waifish hairless elf who only uses they/them in a truly “”genderless”” fashion. Come on now

Guys I don't know how to tell you this but some of you just invented gender roles 2. I will not elaborate too much but I'm seeing way too many posts like "transfem = computer programming and robots" and "transmasc = button up shirts and plushies" idfk I think generalizing isn't good actually. Literally no different from the "Legos are for trans he/hims and barbies are for trans she/hers" (god remember that post) post from last year we were making fun of. Just because you fit the stereotype doesn't mean most of us do

I think personal labels can be useful for “there’s a word for it”, “I’m not alone”, and “oh neat, I know what to put in a search engine now” reasons, but I also think they can be troublesome.

Plenty of people won’t fit 100% neatly into a label, and when they encounter a rare exception to what is otherwise an accurate label for them, it can feel like an identity crisis.

The labels aren’t literally what you are. They’re words. They’re meant to assist communication and organization, not to control you.

Comic of this here.

“Oh boo hoo you shouldn’t ask your friends for favors we’re all adults”

I just spent three hours pulling up carpet and staples for a friend’s home renovation and we all did nothing but chat and joke and have wonderful conversation the whole time.

Helping somebody move or renovate or giving them a ride to the airport is functionally the same as going mini-golfing or playing a board game: it’s an activity that you do that is made more fun by having good company, and which provides something to talk about when the conversation lulls.

the reason this is the best website for social media is because its a ghost town where no one is paying attention so you can say shit like "death to all military" and be answered only by the howl of the wind as it sweeps another layer of sand against the side of your house. you can stand proudly in your front yard thinking about a beautiful world where "death to all military" happens. sometimes a picture of a beautiful killifish floats by and you can collect it. look here it comes now

s/o to this skeleton babe from 1936

To anyone wondering if it's worth it to tear down fascist posters or whatever. I spent a few months last year engaged in silent battle with another student at my school who was putting anti trans stickers up everywhere. I had it down to a system where every night I would walk the five block radius they went up in, and tear down all the ones I could reach, and use a stick to put duct tape over the others. Like, within hours of the stickers going up, I would have already purged the whole zone. I knew the basic schedule of whoever put them up based on when and where the stickers appeared. I probably could have found them in person if I'd wanted to. And I told all my classmates and friends what the stickers looked like and got them to rip them down too. And after a few months of this, the stickers slowed, and then stopped forever.

My point is, a lot of this fashy or right wing stuff is one local weirdo. And if you pay attention, and do a little light organizing with your friends, you can basically make their efforts into a giant sisyphisean exercise in misery. You control your streets!

Rashida Tlaib speaking in Congress, her last speech yesterday about the crimes against the Palestinian people before the House censured her.

“71% of Michigan Democrats support a ceasefire. So you can try to censure me, but you can’t silence their voices.”

At the end she called for a ceasefire again.

I am no longer giving myself grace. I am giving myself commands like I'm a good little slut who doesn't get to cum until I've done the tasks Ser wants me to do.

I am also Ser and am I going to get a perverse pleasure out of watching myself suffer through paperwork.

I may need to up my adhd medication. Or try a non-stimulant as well. Or something. This is getting absolutely ridiculous.

Learn to like bugs

Tips by someone who went from a bug hater to an entomology enthusiast

Learn more about arthropods - Being afraid of the unknown is a natural defence mechanism. This is luckily easily beat by learning! Insects, spiders and other tiny friends are very different from us and it makes our mammal brains struggle a little to understand. But that makes them more fascinating! Little creatures are so valuable and smart and social and you can learn all about it

Name and talk to the insects/spiders that you meet - You might feel ridiculous at first but this one really helps. It shifts the idea from "scary creature" to "just a little guy"

Hang out with people who love bugs - Passion and joy is infectious and nothing made me appreciate bugs as much as hanging out with entomologists

Visit exhibitions and join entomology walks - The whole vibe of these experiences makes bugs into something exciting (which they are!)

Be aware of how much space you take - You are a large mammal and you take up a lot of space both physically and with the way you live. Now it's okay to occupy space! You deserve to live and move freely and take up a piece of the world! But also realise that you take up space you don't use. The corners under the ceiling, sheds and storage spaces. Sometimes it's okay to leave this space to other, smaller roommates.

Exposure therapy - Let an insect walk on your hand. You'll find out it's fine. Start with something that doesn't scare you much and you can work your way up to scarier things. (Make sure it's safe to do so based on species and where you're from) For me the most difficult so far was a palm sized stag-beetle larva and it was fine! I didn't enjoy it but it felt really good to beat that fear

Many spiders pay rent - Spiders are a great pest control! I do recommend to check whether the spider isn't venomous but otherwise it's great to keep them around

Dangerous animals deserve to live - You should be careful and deal with these dangerous roommate appropriately. Sometimes this will mean you have to kill them but NEVER be cruel about it. You wouldn't hate a person for carrying pepper spray in dangerous areas, don't hate little friends for having defence systems

I know things like this can be difficult and you might not feel the need to even try but I promise it's worth it. It's just another part of our world to fall in love with. Just because you are big doesn't mean the small are unimportant.