#it doesn't feel liek writing to me
Note
Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤
awww thank you for including me. this has just been sitting in my box for the past couple of days but HERE I AM- in no particular order:
This doesn't really have a name... It's just called Merman AU
and it's not a 'fanfic' it's half a collection of headcannons for this AU and half snippets from this idea that I posted on tumblr at @haikyuu-aus-cuz-i-cant-write (oops look who has actually written now jfdksalf) basically this is a cross between the little mermaid and the monkey's paw. I really liked this but it was wayyy too big of an idea for me to write and you can see that I stopped after writing Suga's wish which is reallly funny considering this whole idea spawned from wanting a mermaid/human bokuaka AU and i was not near to getting to the meat of the story at all
Things That Hold Us Together: Steel Bolts and Tender Hearts
yes i just recently posted this, yes i've had this in my folders for like 3 years. this one... this was spawned from an old friend - who i don't speak with anymore - offhand comment that a fanart looked like akashi was an android. four hours after they said that i had half of this fic, and they said it was the best writing i ever shared with them. they encouraged me to expand it but i kept hitting a wall and then we had a falling out and through out the years ive been coming back to this trying to add and edit and i decided to reclaim it as my own and publish it.
the idea is that it's an introduction to a lighthearted sitcom/romcom between decommissioned war android akashi and engineer who fixed him up furihata
Language Barriers
i cyclically get star trek brainrot and this time it had a dash of akafuri, i really like how i described things in this one since furihata doesn't think in words but emotions and images instead, idk it was a good writing exercise
Horror wip
ive been hemming and hawing at it for literal months now because i have one central driving image behind my eyelids that i want to get to. its just been... harder than usual to get to it. i've rewritten like 3 times trying to get it write. i've currently landed on 2nd person narration with some thrown in spices of 1st person to signify that we are in the being- akashi's- point of view haunting furihata (the you) and its giving me an opportunity to make the reader feel akashi's destroying love from the front seat. my other goal with this is to write some surrealistic imagery soooo yeP
I Will Follow You Down Through The Gates of Hell
i cant not include this. this damn fic/series/idea has been brewing in the back of my mind for so damn long if it was a human child it could hold a fucking conversation. the imagery. the themes. the depth of emotion- AND WE ARE BARELY GETTING INTO THE WAR!? ITS BEEN 50K+ WORDS AND ITS JUST GETTING STARTED (or ending, if you wanna look at it that way)
idk its... its been so long since i wrote part 1 that that fic doesn't feel like "mine" anymore? idk but it always makes me smile seeing an email saying that someone else liked the fics too.
#ask box#alienjack#jack#thank youuuu#i watched talk to me and it got me in a writing inspired mood hence why i dusted off a fic and posted it and finally got around to doing#this too#idk... i know they say to write for yourself- and i do!! (mostly) i don't read ocean eyes thats for damn sure-#and i know that all of my akafuri fics are for myself but some of them...#idk. i feel divorced from? does that make sense? a limb chopped off and given away?#like its not mine anymore?#maybe its just because they have themes i don't resonate with at the moment... maybe bc i didn't do them complete justice?#im not sure#do u feel that way at all? or because you are a literary person you feel more connected to your words#than i do...#some people need to write. they need to express thoughts and feelings or they will combust. they need to pluck words from the air#and sing them in song for the heart.#im im not liek that.#at least. that feeling that driving inspiring consuming feeling doesn't rest on me often.#there is one writing. one little drabble that i wrote while in my emotions that... that is mine.#maybe thats the difference.#as much as i have written. its a mimicry. a mockery of plot and feelings. things i have seen and read elsewhere.#i couldn't place my hand and breathe life into an emotion i haven't felt. not true emotion.#maybe i should just go to bed instead.#sORRY#lil rant
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2023 Year End Stats
Not to be stereotypical or anything, but for me at least, 2023 was an odd year. I bled for 6 months straight, dealt with the worst pain I still can't comprehend, had a hysterectomy, moved in with my partner, got some cats, dealt with a lot of stress, watched the world burn. Yeah, it's been pretty good to outweigh the bad.
But anyways! I've done the math and put together a list of my stories that performed the best this year. At least in terms of notes anyways. I'm also going to share my stories that didn't perform as well and hope they get the love they deserve.
Anyways, let's get on with the count down. Forty total stories have published on Tumblr this year. Sixty-six were published on Patreon.
Top monsters were orcs (7), Vampire (3), Fae, Minotaur, Romm Monster, Lich (all 2).
Top Ten Stories:
10. Kahann the Naga
This one would probably be in my top ten favorites to write of the year. This dark, twisted romance between a lonely, isolated girl shipwrecked on an island with the dangerous and sexy Kahann struck the dark romance itch I've been wanting to scratch.
9. Keir the Orc
Comfy farm romance that features annoyances to lvoers. What else could you want? Orcs are always fun to write, I feel I could do it with my eyes closed, but thankfully I don't wanna do that.
8. Atharo the Lich
The pink lich, this one had imagery in it I couldn't get out of my head. the visions of this pink lich still huant me and I wish I could conjur such sstrong imagery still.
7. Asier the Drider
A simple premise we cann understand. Getting packages and ordering online is probably yhe msot fun we can have without leaving our homes. But what if your neighbor was annoyed by this? And what if that neighbor was a drider?
6. Auberon the Room Monster
The enchanted library. i think I've written more about the romance and mystery of bookstores an libraries more than anything. But this story was special, with lots of worldbuilding wrapped like a blanket around these characters. The room this monster stays in is the library, and who doesn't wanna spend time with that guy?
5. Marek the Vampire
This murky, dark, and swampy tale is one of those that stays with me. The idea of a different sort of vampire, one in the bogs and wetlands of a strange peninsula that gets flooded every year haunts me. The image of him is one of my absolute favorite creations and I hope I get to visit this peninsula village again.
4. Placide the Paralangua
This story marks the beginning and growth of my Charcourt universe. Liek Hearthway Hollow it's a town filled to the brim with straneg creatures, only it's the Paralangua, alligator type monsters who throw a festival every year to celebrate their history and the continued growth of Charcourt. Is it a cult? Maybe. There's a new five part tale of this area up on Patreon now.
3. Ben the Werewolf
Enmies to lovers, I think most people get on board with this trope. This tale of Hearthway Hollow delves into the relationship between two high school enemies who reconnect after years and manage to put aside their competitivness to find one another. The lead in thisstory is also Rowan's little sister.
2. Leraye the Demon
Demons are always fun. My demon characters have ways of weaving themselves in and out of the world we know, sometimes as proper members of society, often not. Leraye is one of those that visits our world as a full time member, seeing out the comforts of a Chinese bakery whose owners are a family with ties into the reality he avoids.
Florenz the Vampire Bat
This would for sure also be on my favorites of the year. This dark story wove together elements of fantasy, horror, and romance that I love to death. The lead is sophisticated and dashing, the lead is adventurous and excitable. The chemistry between the leads while writing this tale was so good.
The Ten Least Appreciated Stories
10. Juniper the Tiefling
I am deeply disappointed this didn't do as well as I expected. This story was based on characters me and my bff made for a one shot DND session. So this story was more personal to me than others. but more than that, I feel it had some of my best banter!
9. Rocco the Guard
Another personal tale based on ideas me and my friend came up with during a visit where we watched the Owl House together. I also greatly enjoyed the leading lady who was smart, spunky, and chaotic in the absolute best ways.
8. Ozzie the Werewolf & Tryfon the Naiad
It has a trans lead, it has polyamory, it was set in hearthway Hollow! I thought this story was serving up gold on a platter. But maybe people weren't in the mood for gold. The comedy in this is top notch, at least I thought.
7. Laertes the Fae
Another story where the dialogue I feel sparkles and pops with every interaction the characters had. This did only recently come out, so maybe it'll grow after this.
6. Ransom the Shapeshifter
Another personal story based around lore me and my bff created for our Stardew Valley characters. It also featured a nonbinary lead and monster, I thought people would be excited for this. I loved playing with the avant-garde sci-fi aspect and being a little weird. But maybe that's why people didn't like it too much lol
5. The Leshy
Another story that would be in my top ten for my personal favorites to write. I loved the complexity of the leading lady and crafting her has made her a personal favorite. The characters and world of this story will be one that stays with my thoughts as I think about the cozy, dark streets anfdthe moss covered steps of the buildings.
4. Jaqueline the Dullahan
This story has it all! Chocolate, Halloween, a sexy dullahan chef, and it's a lesbian romance. Maybe I don't have enough wlw readers but this story came from a ko-fi prompt I wrot and just grew into a full fledged story. I really enjoyed the atmosphere of this story and how it felt like a cozy fireplace with hot cocoa.
3. Beast the Symbiote
Beast is a character I have been wanting to get out into the world for years. She's such a complex villain character, and who doesn't love that. I feel like she is one of my coolest characters. Lucky Devil was also a character I had been dying to get out, she's been in my head since I watched Magi Madoka and she took form slowly over the years. She is in part based on me, and I want to do more with this lovely couple.
2. Fia the Selkie
I'm starting to see a pattern here. Male reader stories aren't ya'lls cup of tea? Too bad, I have some amazing male readers and commissioners I adore working for. Fia was this comforting warm blanket of a story. A struggling musician and the lovely Selkie he's come to be with. I really love this story, please check it out if you want some comfort.
1.Ria the Orc: an AU
I'm actually a wee bit pissed about this one. Another male reader, and Ria is a character I've come to absolutely love. This was written for a commissioner I've come to consider a friend, and writing for him has become an amazing experience. Ria and her beau have also become such real, loving characters in my head. This was an AU of the modern monsters Ria where she is in Obresh and participates in the Reaping. Who doesn't love Reaping stories? C'mon folks, give these ten stories the love they deserve!
Thank you all for an amazing year! Next year I will hopefully publish and you're going to see bigger and grander things from me, I owe that to all of you. Keep a look out for my Ozren novel hitting the shelf soon. Thank you so much and I hope I continue to write stories you love.
#top ten#year in review#2023#monster romance#monster fuqqer#monster smut#orc#vampire#lich#fae#writblr#writing community#creative writing#personal
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WISH YOU WERE MINE
bestfriend!choso x gn!reader
summary : you were seeing this other guy but start to wonder if you only like him due to not wanting to ruin your friendship with choso...
content : reader if only refered to you/your, choso & reader are roomates, if you squint really hard you'll see angst, a little fluff, mentions of rejection
a/n : after a year im back with this shitty writing ! my joost klein obsession brought me back to writing
You're not his girlfriend, but he wishes you were.
He wishes he could hold your hand in a romantic way. He wants to ask you out, but something is holding him back.
Rejection.
He doesn't want to ruin the friendship you guys built for the past years. So he holds his feelings in.
Whenever someone trys to flit with you, one of his blood vessels pop. Yet he holds it in, because he's just you're best friend. Why would your best friend be so picky about your dating life?
"Why don't you like him?" You ask as you munch on some chips that were infront of you. Choso shrugged, he was so tense you can see it on his face.
"He doesn't seem nice." Choso's answer was short and simple. Even with that answer you can tell something was upsetting him. What Choso said wasn't wrong, the guy wasn't that nice.
You shift in your seat. In the kitchen of your shared house you began to look for a way to tell him how you truly feel.
The room was silent for a moment.
Choso sighed quietly standing in the opposite direction of you. He looked everywhere but your eyes. "Whatever.. if you like him, date him."
You dropped your shoulders, furrowing your eyebrows. When you started seeing this other guy you didn't see Choso as someone you would date. But as 3 months past of seeing this other guy, you started to wonder if this guy was the right one.
Yeah he didn't text you everyday but Choso did. Would this other guy drop seeing his friends if you asked? You know Choso would, he did in the past.
Questions liek those would pop in your head for the last 3 months. Plus, Choso was just your type. Maybe you were hanging on to the other guy because you didn't want to ruin the friendship you guys had.
Choso started to wait to his room. As he walked by you, you opened your mouth.
"Listen Choso..." You started your sentence but you couldn't finish it. You don't even know what you were going to say in the first place.
He turned around and looked at you, sort of with a gloomy face. "Choso, I..."
Just say it!
...
"I like you!"
I did it!! You say in your head.
He stared at you. With widened eyes, filled with love still. You didn't know if this was the end of your friendship or the start of something new.
It was silent. You sat on your chair while choso stands next you you. You stood up just so you guys can be at the (somewhat) same level. His face was in a shocked state. The silence broke.q
"You like me back?"
He said with a quiver in his voice.
"I liked you for a while! I just couldn't handle the rejection. But I'm ready for it..."
You said without registering what he said earlier. "Wait..."
BACK ?!?
You the both you stared at each other, lust and love was in the air. You and him didn't know what to say. With that, you hugged him.
Your hot bestfriend likes you back. You couldn't believe, you won in life.
He hugged you back after a second.
"I would be crazy to reject someone amazing as you."
#💌; choso#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#choso kamo#choso x reader#jujutsu kaisen choso#jjk choso#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen angst#somewhat
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Tell me everything.
↳ Best friends are supposed to tell each other everything, but Donghyuck isn't all that sure if he can tell you about his feelings. (He obviously also doesn't know that you have a big fat crush on him too)
pairing: best friend!hyuck x reader
genre: fluff, crack, slight angst, best friends to lovers!AU
warnings: um parties, mentions of alcohol, reader and hyuck are so fucking oblivious, bro idk i dont rmember writing this fic im so sorry
word count: 8.8k words
a/n: oh my fucking god the rollercoaster this fic has been to me. i swear to god i have never ever been so blocked EVER im sos ososososoooo sorry this is SO overdue man i feel so guilty and at the same time i feel so disappointed in this fic but its ok ^^ i'll just grow out of it in the future and look back and laugh (with tears </3)
anw BIG HUGE thank you to the godess of editing herself, @jenotapes ! thank you so so sooo much aisha for the beautiful header, i cannot express how much i love it and how thankful i am, it's so gorgeous it's liek theonly good thing about this whole thing HAHA
i.
The first real friend you've ever had, you have to say, is your mother, but really that's another situation.
Other than her, you'd have to say it would be Hung Renjun, someone you've known since middle school. You were inseparable during middle school, and sure you had a few crushes on him, but it's a lot different now.
You grew apart, but it doesn't seem like any of you minded it that much.
Your best friend after that, would be Lee Donghyuck. Someone you met through Renjun.
It was during Renjun's cousin's wedding where you met him. (You were only invited because this certain cousin used to be like a sister to you when you were younger. You like to remember all the tea parties you had together.)
But man, would you like to thank, and scold, both Renjun and his cousin for inviting you. Because of them, you found Donghyuck.
It was quite a unique way to find your best friend.
"You've got some moves!"
You turn around at the unexpected, and unfamiliar voice, alarmed at a (very cute) stranger with a light smile on his lips. Your lips go from a gape of surprise, to a bright smile that slips a laugh, "Thank you!"
"Do you have a phone number too?"
Yes, he had tried asking you out. Not only did you end up giving up your number, but you did go hang out a while after that.
You most certainly did (and still do) have the biggest crush on him, finding him so very charming and cute and, well, your type.
But for some apparent reason, he never asked if you wanted to actually date. You're not sure if he forgot, or he thinks you weren't interested or something, but he just didn't. You suspect he didn't have any more interest anymore. Not that you minded, (now. You minded a lot back then.) but it's getting a lot harder to keep in with every day that you get closer to Donghyuck.
It's gotten to the point where you don't even want to think of him, fearing that it would show and your whole friendship would be ruined.
Instead, you bake, as you always did when you had something particular on your mind.
Chocolate chip cookies, you had decided about 20 minutes ago, the soft and chewy ones that Donghyuck like—
"Holy shit," you whisper to yourself, voice hushed with realization. "did I just make Lee Donghyuck's favorite fucking snack without realizing?!"
Yeah, your crush on him has gotten a lot worse. You suspect this happened when he took you out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner when he noticed your dull state last week. He even paid for all the food!
You decide to let all your thoughts go as you close the oven with your fist batch of cookies, the rustiness of the screws more than enough to distract you. Gosh, nobody in your dorm building takes care of the poor thing. You remember when Yoo Jimin and Kim Minjeong attempted to roast a whole turkey but it came out way undercooked because the oven broke down within 30 minutes.
Just as you thought your mind was Lee Donghyuck-free, the door to the kitchen opens, and in comes all your thoughts once again, as your best friend enters.
"Hey there," he greets.
"Hi,"
"What are you doing?"
You shrug, turning around as you continue mixing the cookie dough. "I don't know, what does it seem like I'm doing?"
A chuckle slips from Donghyuck's lips as he approaches you, choosing to take a seat on the counter, next to the cooling rack. "Cookies?"
You only him in approval, placing the bowl back down on the counter.
To Donghyuck, your baking is one of the best he knows. First, would be his mother, of course, but you’re close to beating her, especially with the cake you baked for Renjun’s birthday a few months ago. He particularly likes your baking when you two are awake at midnight, and instead of using the oven, you choose to use the microwave, to make simple 2 minute microwave cookies or brownies. They’re the best for midnight snacks to have while writing an essay, or having an existential crisis together.
A moment later, Donghyuck finds you rummaging through the many drawers to find something. Once you finally find it, you go straight back to the dough, before you stick the object in, and scoop it back out.
In front of Donghyuck, is a teaspoon, scooped with your cookie dough. He mumbles a few words of gratitude, before taking the spoon from you and shoving it in his mouth.
While Jaemin and Jeno are your favorite taste testers, (due to their immaculate opinions of how much salt and/or sugar you put into your recipes) Donghyuck always somehow finds his way to become number one. Maybe it’s because you like to hear the compliments from him. (or your big fat crush on him. Both, most likely.)
"Oh, yum! This is really good," Donghyuck smacks his lips, savouring each second of the taste melting on his tongue, and gets a small sense of... nostalgia.
"Hey, did you put some—"
"—cinnamon? Yes I did, I remember you telling me how your mom would do it, so I decided to try it myself too. Good to know you like it,"
It was a simple mention during a debate of if cupcakes or cookies were better, but the very random fact stuck to the back of your mind whenever you thought of baking. You’ve been meaning to make some, but never had the time to until now. (Though, you do have a few assignments begging to be finished as you bake.)
While Donghyuck is so very thankful, and delighted, he's a tiny bit worried. He knows you only bake when you have a mind full of things you don't want it to be filled with. This happened when you flunked that one assignment and you baked a whole birthday cake to get your mind off it.
"Are you okay?"
You're surprised at Donghyuck's words, instantly halting your actions to turn to him with shock written in every part of your face. "Huh?"
"I mean," Donghyuck passes you the spoon back, wiping your hand when he sees its got some flour stuck to it, "you're baking. Cookies. A lot of them. You only bake when you're thinking a lot, what's up? I'm your best friend, tell me everything!"
And that is exactly what you've been thinking about. How attentive he is, how caring and kind he is. Gosh he almost makes you go crazy just by doing things like this to you, you might just tell him what's wrong to have him stop completely.
"Nothing," you breathe out, going back to check on the cookies in the oven, "just bored, I guess."
Donghyuck doesn't buy a single bit of it, and you know he doesn't. So instead, you decide to lie a little, hoping he wouldn't catch it.
"I was so busy yesterday, I guess I just wanted to relax. Decided to make some cookies for you."
At this, Donghyuck can't help but chuckle. Cookies? For him? "Just for me?"
Oh shit, did you say that? Silently, you panic, unconsciously shifting away from Donghyuck to hide your growing nose scrunch of embarrassment. "Uhh, f-for us...?" You hope he lets it go, you hope with your entire soul that he lets it go and accepts your stupid and poorly made excused for once.
Alas, he is Lee Donghyuck, your best friend who will never let you live down a single thing if you make a mistake. (You always question why you even like him.) There was a time you accidentally switched the names of two of your upperclassmen. The most embarrassing 2 weeks of your life when he would remind you every other day.
Donghyuck's head throws back with laughter, gripping the edge of the counter for balance. He's always looked so cute while laughing, and you don't miss the way your heart stutters. And neither does Donghyuck. His own heart feels like it's soaring, jumping all around his body, swirling and spinning all because of you. "Oh my god, you're so cute!"
Oh my god, he's driving you crazy.
To shut him up, you grab a cookie from the cooling rack, before shoving it in his mouth, flicking at his forehead. "Shut up or these cookies are going to Chenle."
Donghyuck nods, though laughing and chewing, winking and blowing a kiss at you. Once again, he feels his heart somersault when you reach over to wipe the few crumbs at the corner of his lips.
ii.
Lee Donghyuck never liked business management. Sure, it’s where he realized that the person he hit on at Renjun’s cousin’s party sat 2 rows in front of him, and yeah, Professor Lee is his favorite teacher, and sure, he sometimes likes the lessons–okay, maybe he just hates it today.
Or maybe today is complete shit to him. Yes, he hates today. None of your nagging during breakfast, or even lunch, due to your sudden cold you got overnight. He’s had to go through classes without you, only get one cup of coffee, and he didn’t even get one text from you. What’s up with that?
He feels completely relieved to be going back to his beloved room, expecting to do nothing but sleep for the rest of the day, and maybe watch some of his favorite reality shows. He just… he really needs to rest.
You know what he would kill for right now? Your cookies. The ones you made the other day for him, the ones you added cinnamon to and made him feel all warm inside. In his opinion, those are the best cookies he’s ever eaten. But he won’t tell his mom.
Yeah, one of those would not be bad for this shitty, shitty day. Or maybe you yourself, there to accompany him and cheer him up, but you’ve got a sickness, and need to rest. Him feeling down in the dumps is a lot less important than your health.
But apparently, that’s not exactly your own priorities.
Donghyuck doesn’t expect to see you here, when he swings open his dorm door, but there you are, with a mask on and a duster in hand. You seem to be cleaning out the bookshelf by the window, the one Donghyuck installed with you just for the aesthetics.
Why are you dusting it? Heck, why are you even here?!
“Y/n? What the fuck are you doing here? You need to rest right this second!”
You were just about to say something, to explain why you’re in his room in the first place, but your best friend beats you to it, rushing up to you, before he grabs gently at your arms. You drop the duster in your hand at this, gaping at the way Donghyuck tugs you to his bed.
It’s like every time you’re about to say something, anything, Donghyuck interrupts you with an action, pressing his hand to your forehead. “God, you’re still burning up. Have you taken your meds yet?”
FInally, you’re able to speak, as Donghyuck shuts up to hear you. Instead of words, a light laugh slips through your lips, as you shake your head in disbelief. “No, yeah, I took them right before coming here.” Donghyuck doesn’t say anything, but you can already practically feel the curiosity radiating off him, the frustration he’s about to spew out into words.
“I came here to clean your room,” You say, brushing Donghyuck’s hands off your arms, only to take them in yours softly. Instantly, his thumbs run over your knuckles carefully. You can’t deny the way your heart swirls with love. “since my dusty ass room is what gave me my morning cold.” Suddenly, you grow a bit conscious of how ridiculous you might seem to him, getting up to clean up your best friend’s room.
“Didn’t want you to get one, or something.” You can’t look Donghyuck in the eye, afraid that it would be the last thing to set you off into a hot, shy mess.
But unbeknownst to you, Donghyuck looks at you so gently, so lovingly and softly. He’s so very thankful for you, in so many ways. Just being in your presence has him instantly calming down, and forgetting about every single bad thing he’s had come across him today. Just the thought of you caring so much for him has him forgiving every single thing that’s ever hurt him in his life.
As if looking Donghyuck in the eye wasn’t enough to make you go crazy, Donghyuck’s hands suddenly slide up your arms, his fingertips brushing against your skin, before he wraps his arms around your shoulders, securing you tightly to him.
You feel, and practically memorize every time Donghyuck’s skin comes in contact with yours, touching, brushing, leaving trails of goosebumps. The best kind.
You feel so many things when Donghyuck hugs you. You feel shocked, and surprised, and at the same time so flustered. But those aren’t the strangers feelings in you. Others being worry, and dread.
This hug isn’t the typical ones that Donghyuck usually gives you. It’s tighter, tenser, he’s not giggling, and neither are you. Another thing that makes you feel awfully concerned about this hug, is the fact that Donghyuck has stuffed his head in your neck, and is breathing awfully heavily. It takes you one moment, then two, before you feel the tears and hear the sobs.
Instantly, your arms wrap around him instantly, tucking him closer to you, before you feel tears spring to your eyes as well. You don’t say anything, despite having so many questions, and Donghyuck is so very thankful for that. Sometimes asking for a reason and wanting to understand someone fully isn’t the best, in his opinion, but you don’t even have to ask to understand him. You’ve never had to. Just with an expression on his face, you can tell instantly what he’s feeling.
“One day without me and you’re already struggling, what would you do without me?”
Oh, how Donghyuck feels so safe around you. He pulls away from your shoulder, slightly grimacing at the sight of a damp spt, before a laugh chokes through his sniffling. “Nothing, so you better stick to me for the rest of our lives, alright?”
You do nothing but nod, and chuckle, before you start to wipe away Donghyuck’s tears with the sleeves of your sweater. Not the best choice for wiping someone’s eyes, but that doesn’t really matter right now. Donghyuck needs you, and you’ll be there for him.
“You wanna talk about it?” You mumble softly, brushing his hair from his face. Your best friend finds his heart swelling and thumping erratically with so much love at the look on your face. He’s always liked it when you take care of him. You don’t judge him, not at all. His needs are what you focus on, and it feels good to finally be loved for once.
“Can I?” He whispers in reply, falling into the warmth of your hands. His own grip at your wrists, holding them up to his face.
You smile, and it tells him everything. You’re not going anywhere until he feels better, no matter how long, or how hard the task will be. “Tell me everything.”
And that’s exactly what Donghyuck does. He tells you of how his morning was thoroughly mundane and how he seemed to have struggled to stay awake during class, and how Professor Lee even told him off for dozing off. He tells you each detail, every word and action, and you practically feel like you’re in the scene with how he describes it.
One thing he leaves out, however, is every feeling he’s felt. How could he? He’s sure to blurt out how incredibly safe he feels with you, how worried he was because of your cold, how all he could think about today was just you. Not to mention, how he really believes he cares for you, way more than a best friend should.
Just your presence, the sight of you, it makes him feel somehow inside. Like having a warm picnic late in the afternoon, the warm rays of the sunshine feeling oh so relaxing.
Like watching one of your favorite chick flicks or romantic movies with you after his breakdown, but not even paying attention to the movie because of the way you look so immersed and mesmerized with it has him himself in a daze. That one spark in your eye you always have when you’re so interested, the smile on your lips when you sigh with delight, the way your hands curl around Donghyuck’s wrist to bring you closer.
Donghyuck loves these moments. Donghyuck loves you.
iii.
Alright, Donghyuck does not love you. At least, he doesn’t think he does.
Not in these moments, when you bug him constantly when you very much know he needs to be focusing and finishing his essay.
But hey, in your defence, he’s got 2 weeks to finish it, and it’s not like he doesn’t have everything planned out for it. He’s been ready, much to your surprise. And as much as you are proud of him, you’re not so proud when he’s chosen to use the time where you two usually go to the grocery store near campus to do some assignment.
And it’s not like he doesn’t bug you every time you’re doing literally anything other than hanging out with him. There was a time you had to tutor Jung Sungchan (who will always remain your favorite student) but Donghyuck was around the corner, whispering (not so) quietly at you about how you should totally ditch math and accompany him wherever.
“Please, Y/n,” Donghyuck finally says after attempting to ignore you for 20 straight minutes. His hands are holding at yours, shaking them with the most desperate expression you’ve ever seen on Lee Donghyuck. “I’m begging you to just let me work. 30 minutes. Then we can go get frozen yoghurt from the dining hall, how’s that?”
You really can’t help but snort, and he can’t help but feel all his frustration flutter away just at the sight of your smile. Strange, he’s been feeling things. “What happened to the Donghyuck I knew last week? When I was sick? That made me swear not to leave each other because you couldn’t even last a day without me?”
“My god, Y/n!” Donghyuck exclaims, and at that moment, his fingers intertwine with yours. Great, let’s play a round of ‘how many times can your best friend make you feel things a best friend shouldn’t’ shall we?
“Yes, my love,” There goes one. God do you hate (read: love) when Donghyuck calls you that.
Donghyuck breathes out, trying to suppress a laugh. (it fails.) “I know I said that, and I still don’t take it back! I really mean it, I really do,” That’s two!
“But please, just let me finish this, and then we can go grab a snack, yeah?” Okay, that wasn’t that bad.
“My treat.” And that’s three.
This comment has you shutting up with a small smile, a swirling sensation of excitement stirring in you. This is the only indication your best friend needs to know you’ve agreed to his terms.
And finally, some peace and quiet. At least, that’s what Donghyuck thought.
“What’s your favorite color?” Donghyuck sighs when you start up after promising him you wouldn’t. He glances at you only momentarily, across from him with your arms tightly wrapped around the pillow Jeong Jaehyun left accidentally when he moved out. You have a small, almost mischievous smirk on your lips, as you lightly nudge at your best friend’s knee with your foot.
“I dunno,” he mumbles out, going back to his work, “never thought of it.”
And then he’s back to typing and ignoring you. Oh, how boring this was. It’s not all that fair, in your opinion, how Donghyuck is ignoring you when every time you’ve wanted to work he’s coming over with Chenle’s dog and a bunch of your favorite movies.
“Okay then, what’s your favorite thing to do?”
“Right now?” Donghyuck murmurs, and can’t help the jumping of his heart or curl at his lips when you crawl closer to him to bump your head against his side. “It would be working on this essay.”
“You’re so boring!”
Donghyuck simply dismisses your words, though you can see the slight smirk at the corner of his lips. He’s amused, and though he claims he wants to finish his essay, you know he very much does not mind your presence with him.
“Fine,” You huff out, “I guess I’ll just go and bother Jaemin or something.”
At this, Donghyuck perks up, eyes wide as he watches you roll off the couch next to him. His hand instinctively reaches out to grab at your wrist before you could leave, tugging you back to stumble back next to him on the couch.
Just as you expected.
“Oh? What’s this? The person who has been completely ignoring me is suddenly giving me so much attention?”
“Uh–” Donghyuck stumbles over his words, racking his brain to find a witty enough response to keep you here with him. Alas, as much as he tries, as hard as he searches, his mind becomes completely blank. It’s been happening lately, actually. Whenever he stares into your eyes, he’s struggling to find all the stupid witty comments, his heart feels like it’s being tugged at, it’s so strange.
“God, okay fine! Yeah, I want you here, but please, just don’t ask me stupid shit, okay?” Donghyuck proceeds to pat the space next to him, his gaze turning shy as he looks away bashfully. “Just–just accompany me, please.”
And surprisingly, you comply, for here you are, next to him, staring at his screen. Your head rests on his shoulder, hands playing with the pillows in your arms. You’re bored, but you can suck it up, just for Donghyuck, you suppose.
A sudden thought pops up in your mind, amd before you can stop yourself, you’re blurting it out.
“What do you want for your birthday?”
You notice how Donghyuck’s fingers completely stop typing, his work put on hold. “What?”
“I mean,” You start, your voice growing quieter, “your birthday’s coming up soon, right?”
All the other years you’ve celebrated it, it was always you throwing a big surprise party for him. It was always your gift for him. But since this year Jeno and Jaemin promised they would do it for him this year, it would mean you’re gonna have to get him a present too.
Donghyuck’s never heard this question, and strangely, he doesn’t really like it coming from you. He doesn’t want to demand things like he does with his other friends (read: Rich kid Chenle). He knows that whatever it is, he’s gonna love it.
“Your love?”
Your breath hitches in your throat at the response you receive, before you fly away from his shoulder to throw him a confused look.
Donghyuck’s face is… incredibly cute. He has a teasing smile, cheeks pulled up with his eyes bright. His chuckles are soft, though they resonate repetitively in your ears, and you can’t help but start chuckling as well.
“Oh really?”
When Donghyuck shrugs with a nod, you can finally come up with an equally witty response. “You better not complain if my gift is a kiss.”
To be honest, Donghyuck doesn’t mind. In fact, he kind of–holy shit Lee Donghyuck wants to kiss you!
iv.
Hyuck 🐻:
Hey [22:10]
Hey [22:10]
Hey [22:11]
You:
What [22:11]
Hyuck 🐻:
Can we call [22:12]
You:
Why [22:12]
Hyuck 🐻:
Need help with an assignment [22:12]
You:
Okay fine yeah sure [22:13]
Only you did anything but an assignment Donghyuck was struggling on. You went on a video call, he showed you a bit of the equations, and then you don't remember anything about any assignment after that.
The only thing you can recall talking about is literally anything other than it. Like Donghyuck's story of how his pinkie apparently stopped growing. (He's told you about 6 times already, but it's got to be your favorite story to hear.)
Nonetheless, you can't say you mind it. Donghyuck has been a bit distant lately, you're not sure why, but it's great to hear from him again.
Unbeknownst to you, Donghyuck is avoiding you just a little bit. Ever since the time on the couch where he quite wanted you to kiss him, he's not sure where his heart lies. In your palms, probably.
And he definitely feels like it is, especially when you start laughing at one of his stupid jokes through the screen. It's a tiny bit lagged, with your smile coming only a few seconds after your laughs, but it still shakes Donghyuck's heart. He can't even remember the joke.
He can't remember anything when he's with you, all he wants to remember is the curl of your lips, the sound of your laughter, the warmth you emit. Well, the warmth his laptop emits.
"Hey," Donghyuck starts. He picks on the bracelet you gave him last year, after you got it from some kiosk you found when you went on vacation with your family. It was the first real gift from you, and he cherishes it with all his heart.
"Didn't get to ask how your week was, how was it?"
Right, because he's been quite clearly ignoring you all week.
You visibly shift in Donghyuck's screen, going unseen for a moment, before you adjust your laptop on your lap. "It's been okay, got extra free time since Sungchan couldn't come to this week's meeting. Been sleeping a lot more."
"That's good," Donghyuck replies to your summary. It really is, because God knows how little sleep you get. Sometimes it's because of studying, or watching some movie just because you felt like it, or someone (read: Donghyuck) is occupying your time.
Your smile flashes on the screen, and it causes Donghyuck to smile himself, tugging his blankets closer to him.
"How about your week? What have you been doing to not call me every other hour?"
Let's see, thinking of you, staring at your contact photo for some reason, contemplating whether to call you or not, and, well, sleeping. And babbling about you to Lee Jeno.
"Not much, really."
His answer is definitely not what you expected, nor was it really what you wanted. You expected a whole rant, story time until the most ungodly hour of the morning, heck, even a witty little comment like how he's been thinking of you would be okay. (He would totally, but just scared if he would sound too serious because it's literally what he's been doing.)
And this clearly shows through your facial expressions, as your nose scrunches in dissatisfaction. "Really? Why didn't you call me then?"
Your words set a zoo that even Donghyuck has no idea of running around his body, sensations of happiness and giddiness ripple through his whole soul, and he has to physically hold back a grin.
"Why didn't you call me? Why does it always have to be me calling you?"
Donghyuck is lucky enough to come up with a natural and witty comment, a pout playing at his lips. They dangerously threaten to curl when you click your tongue, leaning in closer to your camera. "Fine," you mumble, "I'll call you next time."
Geez, and Donghyuck thought the zoo was enough for him. Now he has his heart shaking, bearing and clenching and buzzing with adoration for you. Holy shit... what was this feeling?
"Oh, by the way," these words once again capture all of your best friend's attention, it has him humming intently, unconsciously bringing his laptop closer to him.
"had this conversation with Chenle the other day," you explain the context, though you clearly know this was a lie. There was no conversation with Zhong Chenle, it was just a scheme.
"What's a random thing you have never had?"
Yes, a scheme to find him a birthday present.
"For example, I never had a gemstone before. Pebbles, rocks, sure. But like rubies and all that jazz? Never."
At first, Donghyuck was a little bit suspicious of your actions and words, but the moment you mention the gemstone and have you've never had it, his mind drifts off from the suspiciousness, instead racking his brain to find a thing.
It takes him a solid minute, one minute of a cute little thoughtful pout, one moment of his low focused humming, one minute of staring at his cute habits. God, perhaps you have it bad for Lee Donghyuck.
As you stare at him, you can't help but wonder what this certain object might be. Donghyuck's been gifted very random things by lots of people. There was a time he got a whole pack of chopsticks for Christmas. It was the craziest shit ever.
"Snowglobe."
You barely get to process his words, before you burst out laughing, very amused by his words. Though Donghyuck is confused, and shocked, he can't help but laugh along with you. He always found your laughter very contagious and enlightening.
"What?" He asks softly between chuckles, eyes glued to the screen, where you attempt to stop your laughter, but fail miserably.
"N-nothing," you snort, "that was just the last thing I expected."
And honestly, Donghyuck gets it. He gets it completely. Snowglobe, of all things, but it’s the truth, it really is.
Donghyuck leans in closer to his screen, if that is even possible, smiling fondly as you quiet down from your laughing fit. You have your face stuffed into a pillow, eyes shut as you try to regain and steady your breath. “It is pretty random, isn’t it?”
Your best friend can’t help but think you look… so precious. How many people in the world get to make you smile this much, how many people can get you to laugh as hard? For some reason, he can’t help but feel almost so special to get to have you in his life. To have you listen to his god awful jokes and to have you accompany him in a call. God, how did he even manage to get you to bake his favorite cookies?
And suddenly, when he glances at you, closing the window to his (finished and submitted) essay, you look way too good for a best friend. Grinning down at your laptop as your favorite part of your comfort movie plays, when have you ever looked so good before?
Considering the fact that Donghyuck was okay with you kissing you just a few days ago, and how you seem absolutely ethereal to him, he’s pretty concerned. What is going on? Why is he feeling this way towards you, after months of being so close, why has he only noticed now?
When Donghyuck softly smiles at the sight of you already mouthing along to your favorite dialogue of the whole movie, he realized that not only is he okay with you kissing him, he wants you to kiss him.
v.
It’s been weeks since you’ve actually hung out properly with Lee Donghyuck, and after all this time spent without him, you realize how painfully boring life could be without him and how incredibly boring Lee Jeno is.
You spent a couple of days with him, and you agree with everyone when they say Na Jaemin truly might be his soulmate, because you don’t know how he can deal with such boringness. (Oh my god has Lee Donghyuck been influencing you too much?!)
Strangely, Jeno and Jaemin have been avoiding you too, but you know why. Even if they didn’t tell you, you know it’s because they would accidentally slip up and tell you their plans for Donghyuck’s birthday party and you would go scurrying off and telling him.
False, they are, because Donghyuck doesn’t…. want to talk to you. At least, that’s what you think, and that’s what you fear. What have you done wrong? What went wrong? The last time you spoke was… about 2 and a half weeks ago, when you had gone over to drop off one of his sweaters he left in your dorm.
He was quite awkward, to say the least. Fidgeting, nervous mumbling, he didn’t even hug you once, he was surely fishy. Ever since then, it’s only been texts, no meet ups or calls. Just texts. And you were initiating and continuing them all by yourself.
A pit of fear lies within you at the thought of you doing something to have Donghyuck stray away from you. Anxiety courses through your veins at the thought of him telling you that you should stop talking or something.
Nobody knows how you feel about him. Fear and love, or whatever you feel for him, nobody knows.
Nobody but Mark Lee. That guy’s great at getting you to spill your beans. Just an ‘Are you sure?’ and you’re going on and on about how confused you feel, how scared and how much you adore Donghyuck.
Thankfully, unlike Jisung or Chenle (or both together), he doesn’t have certain days where he’s making fun or not, he’s always 100% considerate. You’re surprised he doesn’t have a significant other yet, he really deserves one.
And here you are, once again, in front of him, but instead of the library, or his dormitory lounge room, you find yourselves in front of a lake Mark had found recently. You might bring Donghyuck here someday.
“Damn, really? I thought this was gonna be our spot, but I guess you always have to show Donghyuck everything.”
“Well sorry, Mark,” You murmur, as you attempt to skip a rock. It bounces 4 times. “I’m sorry I have a big fat huge crush on my own best friend.”
Mark whistles at your 4 skips, nudging your arm with an impressed smirk. “You say he’s ignoring you?”
“Yeah.” You don’t want to be reminded of the fact. Mark can tell, but you do have to face it either way.
“I know these words might be said like, a thousand times to a thousand people, but it’s really what you should do. Give him some time, maybe he’s going through something–”
“–Mark if he’s going through something he would tell me, he always does! He calls me, usually right before he’s going to sleep, and when I hear his sigh I know. I would know instantly. And I’d be over at his in less than 6 minutes, and he would scold me for wasting my breath for him, and I would always counter how he would do the same thing, because he would!”
Mark isn’t exactly surprised to see you’ve finally cracked. Neither did he expect it, but he knew it would be possible. He lets you rant, he wants you to rant. Get all of it out, until it’s all gone.
“And the thing is, I don’t even fucking know if he would at this point.” You groan and grimace at the tears starting to bead at the corner of your eyes, throwing another rock at the lake. “Did I do something?”
“Y/n,” Mark calls out softly. You almost forget you have company, but with Mark’s hand on your shoulder, moving you in front of him, you know you can trust this company. “even if Hyuck did feel that way, he wouldn’t lead you on, you know he wouldn’t.”
He was right, Donghyuck always called out the bad people in his life and didn’t even hesitate to turn them away. It’s a trait you love about him, he warned you about one of your exes, and instead of scolding you, like he usually does, he went to have a full on conversation with him and full on punched him.
“But if he was leading you on, you’d be okay. He might mean a lot to you now, and in the near future, but there will be people there for you.” Mark has now wrapped you in his arms, patting comfortingly. He mumbles softly, as if he knew the perfect tone to make someone calm down. He does have the perfect tone to calm someone down.
“That’s not gonna happen, though. He loves you way too much to do that.”
Mark Lee is crazy good at comforting, he should probably do it as a job, or something.
“Yeah,” You laugh (with a quiet sniffle that follows), burying yourself in his embrace. You wipe at the small tears on your cheeks, laughing embarrassingly, but Mark assures there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. “God, you’re a really good listener,”
“I know.”
“And advice giver.”
“I know that too,”
You pick up one more rock, turn to the lake, before you toss it. “I think I’m gonna confess. I don’t want this to fester into something really bad.”
Mark nods, joining you in rock skipping. His rock bounces 5 times. “Alright, but if he says anything bad I’m beating the shit out of him.”
You laugh at his comment. Mark Lee is like the brother you always wanted.
vi.
It’s June sixth, Donghyuck’s birthday.
You had texted him a quick birthday text this morning, strike at midnight, like you promised. You haven’t texted him since then, only staring at the ‘thanks y/n <3’ he had sent you about 20 minutes after you sent the text.
At first, you were pretty surprised to see that he was up that late, and then the worry came and started getting you just a little anxious, before you brushed it off, concluding that he was only just playing some more video games with Lee Jeno on his birthday.
And then after that, nothing. No texts, no calls, no nothing. It makes you a little sad, but you’re way too scared to do anything about it. You plan to confess to Donghyuck. Today, at his birthday party Jaemin and Jeno are hosting.
It’s only about an hour and a half away, but you have no plans on getting ready for it. Not at all. For now, you have his wrapped gift in your hands as you stare at your ceiling and practice your confession in your head.
You were always good at memorizing things, speeches, formulas, anything. It was a little thing you enjoyed.
But now, trying to clear your head and recite the confession you plan to tell him, you can’t recall a single word. Just the thought of it going to your best friend, who has been ignoring you for god knows how long, it’s got your heart hammering in your chest and your hands shaking, your nervousness spiking.
You check the clock. 40 minutes until the party.
You’ve got to get your shit together.
Before you know it, you’ve found yourself at the party, Jeno and Jaemin both embracing you at the same time.
“A little late, but nothing too bad! Good to see you again, Y/n!” Jaemin mumbles, before planting a playful kiss on your cheek. You fake a grimace, wiping it off your skin. Jeno only giggles at the situation, before ruffling your hair and nudging his head inside. “You’ll be able to find Hyuck somewhere in there. Can’t be that hard, he’s the birthday boy!”
His words are meant to mean well, nothing with generous intent, but it makes you nervous. Just in a matter of time, you’re about to spill all the beans about all your feelings towards your best friend who probably doesn’t even want to be your best friend anymore. (He wants to be so much more, but you don’t know that.)
The party is busy, busier than you thought, with many people from your classes and some other people they brought, probably for free food and a chance of finding love. Or maybe Jaemin and Jeno are just immensely popular.
All these people, and yet no sign of Donghyuck yet.
His gift is tight in your grip, your fingers bouncing and tapping against it quickly.
The first few people you bump into are your close friends, Huang Renjun and Mark Lee, and you don’t miss the hopeful glint in Mark’s eyes. You shake your head quickly with a slight frown, which tells him everything he needs to know.
Next, are Chene and Jisung, who seem… strange. They’re giggling, which is normal, but they keep nudging at each other and they had started… poking and screeching at you when you asked where Donghyuck was. You had no choice but to check if they were tipsy, or something, only to find their drinks were just mixtures of a bunch of sodas. Gross.
About 25 minutes have passed, no sign of Donghyuck. How are you supposed to give him your gift? (read: how are you supposed to tell him you’re head over heels in love with him?) Is he seriously ignoring you in his own birthday party too?
You’re getting agitated, almost anxious as the time passes.
You run up to Jeno, when you spot him near you. “Hey, have you seen Hyuck around?” You yell over the loud music.
His face twists, and the smile on his face is wiped off and replaced with a slight frown. “You haven’t seen him at all tonight?”
You shake your head.
“That’s weird, he would have been the most excited to see you,”
You excuse yourself, the moment you feel a stir in your stomach. You had a slice of cake, and some apple juice, and you don’t think your stomach is agreeing to the combination. Or the thought of Donghyuck completely ignoring you.
It’s not too long of a walk to the bathroom, after all you could make your way through Donghyuck’s place with your eyes closed. Not a good idea right now, you could bump into that guy with 5 plates of birthday cake.
You finally make your way into the bathroom, quickly shutting the door behind you. Instantly, the music is blurred out, and you close your eyes with a sigh when you feel your nerves calm down just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
They double in amount, however, when you realize that none other than Donghyuck is in the bathroom himself, sitting at the corner by the corner.
You both stare at each other, wide eyes of surprise, clearly unsuspecting of finding one another in the bathroom.
“Hyuck? What the fuck are you doing in the bathroom?”
“Uhhh,” Donghyuck desperately racks his head back and forth for a reason, any kind of reason. “Taking a shit?”
No, he was not taking a shit. Obviously.
You feel a whole whirlwind of emotions hit you suddenly, it strikes at your chest, your heart, before it tingles and moves to your fingers, where you squeeze Donghyucl's birthday present, before it moves onto your feet, as you take one step.
That's as far as it goes, however, and you stop very awkwardly in the middle of the bathroom. There's no point in stopping now, he's right here, you both have nowhere to go, and really it's now or never.
You take another step, and another, and before you know it, you're kneeling and plopping down next to Donghyuck.
It's awkward, at least you think it is. You don't dare look at your best friend, afraid that the moment you do, you'djust blurt out how much you love him.
Donghyuck, however, feels nothing but longing towards you. He longs for you, after weeks of ignoring you. But he doesn't let himself, it's his fault, he should deal with the consequences himself.
"Um—happy birthday!" You blurt out, and stick out your hand with the birthday present in it. It alarms Donghyuck, only for a moment, before he reaches out to it with a grin. You missed his smile.
Instantly, Donghyuck has an urge to unwrap it, to see what it is and treasure it with his whole being, to thank you and hug you and finally just be normal with you once again.
And so he rips open the wrapping paper, finding a snow globe sitting in his palm now. Donghyuck's heart follows each and every artificial snowflake floating about in the glass, swelling and swirling at the gift.
You're nervous for Donghyuck's reaction, seeing him gape at the globe with such wide eyes. Did he not like it? Was it too much? Maybe he wanted to get a snow globe himself.
But, it's nothing short of perfect to him. It's got a polar bear in it, with a santa hat and a christmas tree only half its size, there's nothing in it he could ever point out as a flaw.
"Thank you," Donghyuck finallu breathes out, "fuck, this is perfect—thank you so much, Y/n, really."
"I, uh, wanted to put a picture of us, but I didn't know how to do it so I bought a normal one instead" For the second time that night, Donghyuck's heart goes into a frenzy, just at the sight of your smile of pure happiness and eyes of relief. It pains him to think you could doubt yourself over something as silly as a present. You shouldn't ever worry about what you do to him, he's going to love you no matter what.
The atmosphere lifts a little but after that, as you both shyly smile at the situation.
However, it's not a clear sky just yet. There are grey clouds in the way, grey clouds you can't simply ignore.
And at those clouds, you ought to curse at. You haven't brought an umbrella, or a raincoat, even if you knew it was gonna rain. Here you are, sitting in the shade, knowing that if you step out, it'll start pouring.
But at that, you say fuck it! May it be a drizzle worth of rain, a hailstorm, heck a blizzard couldn't stop you.
"Hey, Hyuck?" You take a step out of the shade.
He simply hums back, gaze never leaving the snow globe.
You take a deep breathe, feeling the first droplet of rain on your skin. "Did… did I do anything?"
And when Donghyuck whips around at you with a shocked expression, you feel the winds of confusion kicking in, growing stronger as he rapidly shakes his head and denies it quickly. "What? No, it's just a snow globe,"
"No, no," You can't help but chuckle at his panicked tone, leaning your hand on your palm. "Not that. Just in general, you know?"
In comes heavier rain, feeling so weighted against your skin. It's cold, harsh, and wet, but you know it's going to be worse.
"If I'm doi g anything wrong, please don't keep it in, please tell me," Your words do more than just surprise Donghyuck, a stinging guilt pains him. Is this what you've been thinking about the whole time he's been gone?
"If I'm making you uncomfortable in any way, tell me. If I did something, tell me my mistake." Your voice is laced with more than hurt, or guilt, it has fear, desperation, and Donghyuck wants to punch himself because of all this.
You can't bring yourself to look at Donghyuck, just merely talking to him about the things you've been worried about is already a whole hurricane for you ti deal with, to fight. "If I'm lacking in any way, tell me what I'm lacking. Just please, tell me, Hyuck. You're one of the most important people in my life and I don't want to hurt you or make you feel bad in any way—"
“—Shut up and look at me!"
You hadn't even noticed Donghyuck calling out to you, not until he's grasped your hands in his, inteetwinign your fingers together.
"God, Y/n, I'm sorry. I made you think the exact opposite. I…" Donghyuck's sentence trails off, and before he knows it, he feels himself choking up once again. Just at the sight of you, so desperate, sorry for nothing, feeling bad, he can't get himself to say anything.
Despite that, he tries, shifting on the floor to face you, "Remember when we met? Two years ago, at Renjun's birthday party? Remember what I first said to you?"
It takes you a moment, but you do remember, how could you ever forget?
'You got some moves! Do you have a phone number too?'
Just by the look on your face, Donghyuck knows you remember. "I still stand by my words."
"...I got good dance moves?"
"Wha—No! After that,"
"...I have a phone number?"
"Oh my fucking god, no. I mean what I meant in general. Like—I was hitting on you," Realization rushed in you, and it hits you like a truck once the words roll off Donghyuck's tongue and register in your brain. Lee Donghyuck was hitting on you.
Donghyuck's heartbeat beats in his ears, terrifyingly loud, and his insides twist in fear and anticipation as he mumbles, "I... I fucking love you, Y/n. I love you so much it hurts, and it terrifies me."
"At first, I just thought friends would be enough. But then we became best friends, which I thought would be better, but god was I wrong. Realizing your feelings for your best friend is crazy, because you're scared of every little thing they do! When you asked me what I wanted for my birthday, you... I just really wanted to kiss you right then and there. When you gave me a hug when I had a bad day, I was so afraid that I would accidentally blurt out the words 'I love you', and when you started looking at me differently, longingly, I realized that I had been ignoring you without realizing. And I feel like an absolute bitch about it. I'm so sorry, for everything. For making you feel terrible just because I was being a fool, for neglecting you, and being an asshole and... and for my feelings. I understand if you feel weirded out, or disgusted, or anything, really. I'm just sorry."
The storm you once thought you'd try fighting away is now drying away, replaced by nothing but the sun after the storm, absolute gid and relief waving over you at his words.
Donghyuck looks so fucking ethereal right now, blushing shyly as he stares at the snow globe you gifted him, and as much as he feels embarassed, there's nothing in him telling him to stop holding your hands. He's holding them so dearly, running the pads of his thumb over your skin, his touch warm and comforting.
"Hyuck," You mumble softly. He doesn't look up. "I think I love you too, Hyuck."
In an instant, Donghyuck's head whips up to stare at you, blinking repeatedly and mouth gaping continuously at you.
"Wait—fuck, wait really?!"
You laugh at Donghyuck's shocked expression, leaning forward to bump your forehead against his shoulder.
"Wait—no—Y/n don't play with me. You love me?!"
"Yes, Donghyuck!"
"Fuck, wait, you said you think you love me. Do you love me or not?"
"Oh my god, I love you! I love you, okay? I don't think your feelings are weird, I think it's dope,"
Donghyuck still continues to gape at you, with what seems like the whole galaxy in his eyes, staring at you as if you were his sun and moon and stars and every beautiful thing out there.
Donghyuck gently shurgs you off his shoulder, before he automatically finds his hands on your skin, caressing your face ever so dearly. The look in his eyes do not change, nor do they falter, desperately staring into yours.
"Are you sure you love me?"
You lean forward to bump your forehead against his, "One hundred percent. You sure you love me?"
Donghyuck shifts to brush your noses together, and you can practically feel his grin against yours. "One hundred percent,"
With that, Donghyuck's lips lock with yours, so softly you feel almost lightheaded. His hands on your face still trace their ways through each inch to your jaw and neck, memorizing each part of you. Donghyuck's lips feel soft, taste of birthday cake you can only assume is from when he blew the candle earlier.
Each peck, each push and pull of your lips feel almost like a dream, but the small smiles and occasional laughs bring you back to reality.
When you pull away, Donghyuck instantly brings you into his arms, planting kisses on every free spot he can find on your cheeks
"When did you realize you love me?"
You hum at the question, "Few months ago."
"All those weeks I've wasted… pining over something I already had?!"
"I quite like it, it adds to the yearning, don't you think?"
Donghyuck only huffs, bringing you closer to him.
"Oh right, speaking of all those weeks we've wasted, care to fill me in on those weeks?"
"What should I tell you?" Donghyuck mumbles, pulling your fingers between his. He reaches down to press a kiss to each of your knuckles.
"Tell me everything?"
#lee donghyuck#lee donghyuck imagines#nct imagines#nct dream imagines#neoturtles#knet bakery#kflixnet#ficscafe#k-radio!#neozonenet#nct-writers#lee donghyuck scenarios#lee donghyuck fluff#lee donghyuck angst#lee donghyuck x reader#lee donghyuck drabbles#lee donghyuck blurbs#haechan#haechan imagines#nct#nct scenarios#nct fluff#nct angst#nct x reader#nct drabbles#nct blurbs#nct dream#nct dream fluff#nct dream x reader#nct 127 imagines
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Feel free to completely disagree w me i just want 2 share my thougjts after rewtaching bombshells last night: As much as Cuddy wants to believe that she left House because he couldnt be there for her in the way she wanted to (which is valid but its rlly not what happened imo) She ultimately broke up w him because he relapsed. Forgive my poor memory i may be recalling wrong but the end of the episode vicodin relapse reveal hinted that house had been back on vicodin since before cuddy’s cancer scare, and the moment that Cuddy found out she dropped him. The vicodin was the catalyst in a sense she saw him relapse back into drugs and she was like Nopeee. like it was the longest he’d been sober since he developed the addiction which is a good thing but its like. the expectation that you will relapse at least once. and yeah cuddy had just gotten a big death scare but she had also found out her boyfriend had fallen back into his addiction and instead of allowing them both to comfort eachother on their respective issues she left him liek broo😭😭😭youre dating a known addict and the minute he starts addict-ing you turn away. Also ntm even though cuddy told him outwardly she didnt want him to change, she definitely had inward hope that She could he the one to change him, that he’d love her so much he wiuld change for her and that didnt happen so she quit
No your 100% right and now I'm going to rant about huddy and a missed opportunity for her character's writing.
Cuddy historically has been a character who has understood House's addiction and thus in turn his chronic pain and disability almost the least. She has a repeated history of ableism in the show towards House, but I am going to focus on her lack of understanding around House's addiction and how that ties into why she dumped him and ultimately was a failing on character growth on behalf of the writers.
In season 7 it is implied House has relapsed before the surgery date, and it's implied that he relapsed because of his intense fear of losing Cuddy due to cancer and he loved her and WANTED to be there for her, and in a way this triggered a relapse. In the world of addiction relapse can happen as addiction is a lifelong chronic illness and moments of stress, loss, etc can be a common trigger for relapse. And the fact House wanted to be there for her without panicking, definitely also makes sense why he considered relapsing. Cuddy's problem here, is that she moralizes it. It's understandable she doesn't address her subconscious thoughts on "huh, I wonder if House has relapsed..." because she's actively undergoing a panic of "am I going to die", so it makes sense she doesn't address it until she's finished surgery. But her problem is she MORALIZES this action. Think about what she tells House. She does think House couldn't "be there the way she wanted" and that "he'd never change", but those are the excuses to rationalize how she feels being in a relationship with an addict. She tells House by "being high" he wasn't "REALLY there" for her when she had the surgery/medical scare. Though House might have been pretty high (which is hard to confirm it's never really stated, and House does have a high opiate tolerance to consider), but in the end it doesn't matter if he was. Cuddy thinks House being on Vicodin is in a way subverting his love/care/attention away from her. Instead of seeing the relapse as a concern, as her terminal illness scare, fear of loss of her, wanting to be there for her, she sees it as a means of NOT being there for her. That of course, in the end, House chooses "drugs" over her. Here's a few notable quotes:
Cuddy quite litereally says the pills mean something, as in his addiction is a moral choice in which House chooses to be a careless loveless asshole who is selfish and only cares about himself and in turn cares only about avoiding pain instead of "being there for Cuddy" which is an insane way to look at someone's addiction, and blatantly fucked up. She quite literally dumps him because of this, the relapse, of because he is an addict.
Because the reality is, like I stated, House wasn't afraid Cuddy would hurt him. House isn't afraid to be there for Cuddy. House has also gotten to a point in their relationship by season 7 that he isn't afraid to love Cuddy. He didn't fear experiencing pain, he feared losing her. And he knew, and he WANTED to be there for her in her potentially dying moments because he loved her. And that in turn triggered relapse. Cuddy's interpretation here is that House never changes, but in reality we should see this as Cuddy has never changed. She's never changed since season 1, not understanding how addiction operates.
Early seasons in which Cuddy has a history of the following: Making House go cold turkey and being cruel when he experiences withdrawal instead of intervening to help him, Cuddy telling House his "pain" is just made up in his head and worsened by the Vicodin (not in a medical sense, in a moralizing sense) such that she ignores his bad pain day and tricks him into getting a saline shot and then uses his brief "distraction" from the pain as confirmation it's in his head/drug seeking behavior (again not from a nuanced position of how mental health and chronic pain intersect, instead moralizing it), she doesn't at all ever understand how opiate addiction operates nor how to treat someone's addiction (ie with methadone...foreshadowing for later) and again moralizes his choice to remain on Vicodin (The entire tritter arc), she is ANTI methadone entirely a known medical treatment for opiate addiction enough that instead of recommending House go to a methadone clinic for increased safety and monitoring threatens to fire him unless he agrees to let her control everything about his methadone treatment plan, and etc.
The writer's have posited Cuddy as someone who cares about House, who loves House, but at no point takes a moment to understand his disability, chronic pain, and his addiction. She moralizes it. And when he enters a relationship with her sober just nearly avoiding relapse, she's almost ashamed to be with him. She enters this relationship, ashamed she could be with someone like House. She takes that scene intervening in his relapse as a moral commitment he will prioritize her over drugs, thus entering the relationship without ever really wanting to understand or be compassionate dating someone who has a history of addiction. This is a missed opportunity for her to develop as a character.
Instead, the writing goes as Cuddy doesn't get to change but the narrative wants us to believe it is House who never changed or cared about her enough, because drugs and addicts bad. Which is really fucked considering they took a lot of time making Wilson grow more understanding of addiction. There's that one episode he fears House has relapsed and he says "relapse is common!" ready to help him and when he relapses after the breakup he recommends House get help instead of moralizing it. He even yells at Cuddy for leaving him, not just as a partner but as a friend.
Sorry this is long but I hope...this makes sense
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Hey I see with my eyes U have ur requests open it's the Basim anon here if your still open to writing him before Mirage comes out
Can I get Basim x gn!reader where evior introduces the two or hcs if basim has a s/o related to evior or is part of ravensthorpe
idm which (i did see correct that ur requests where open right if i saw wrong plz delete this or ignore it)
☾ ⋆ ﾟ𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 / 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: Honestly I really do feel like the most dynamic AC writer here with the way I write for just about anyone lol. I wasn't really sure what you wanted to see from this because you weren't very specific but I hope you're happy with what I came up with :)
𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: Basim Ibn Ishaq
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: none
｡･:*˚:✧｡basim ibn ishaq
♡ in all honesty, Basim mostly sticks to his own building with Hytham and only socialises when necessary for things like shopping on the market or trade so he doesn't really talk all that much around Ravensthorpe.
♡ but, he can't escape talking when Eivor comes along to introduce you as her cousin from her father's side. He was formally polite with you to begin with but quickly found you sweet as you filled him with pride by taking an interest in how he and his apprentice had decorated their assigned building in the settlement with decor of their own lands.
♡ growing up in Norway, of course you had been trained in combat; but here in this building, you were exposed to a new form of combat, one of stealth and it interested you greatly. When you asked Basim to teach you, he was more than happy to do so providing you were to respect the tenets of the Hidden Ones.
♡ you were an excellent student and Basim truly did enjoy teaching you. He finds himself learning much more about Norway through you and he relishes time spent with you as you keep the voice of the trickster in his head at bay.
♡ he hopes that he will not lose himself so that he can stay with you.
☾ ⋆ ﾟlike my work? why not:
∘ buy me a coffee?
∘ commission me?
∘ join my taglist
∘ consider following/reblogging
🏷️ no taglist for Basim yet :( fill form linked above if you'd liek to be tagged!
#✎ kia’s 2k event ༉‧ ♡*.✧#basim ibn ishaq#basim ibn ishaq x reader#assassins creed#assassins creed x reader
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Irresistible
so um its my first time posting and all. so um i am gonna write ffs (for enhypen only hyung line please) and all like smut and fluffs u can put in ur requests in my dms and and asks. and um thats all and umm i will be writng dual povs um liek if anyone wants to be in my taglist u can just dm me or like just out in asks or reblog whicheevr u want.
btw i am like a beginner writer... so there might be errors and stuff smtime may not make sense but please be kind thankk uu
ya'll just wanted to take a moment to appreciate for liking my blog. to everyone. thanksss
summary- jake is your roomate, y/n and jake has a lot of sexual tension between them. after weeks of not trying touch or kiss each other the thin line of resistance breaks and um yeah.
pairing- y/n x jake
warnings- fluff,kissing,groping,ass smacking,making out,cursing (i think thats all let me know if there is more)
genre-romance,fluff
y/n pov and Jake's pov
Y/N pov
Our friends left soon later in the day leaving me and Jake alone in the silence of our apartment. These few weeks Jake has been looking irresistible. Our sexual tension just seems to be increasing more day by day its like everytime we are in the room together there is there feeling in the air going around asking for something. I am hella sure Jake is aware of that too.
Jake Pov:
"Care for some food?, I am starving." I asked her.
She nodded.
"I am gonna make us some waffles and fruit okay?"
"Ya"
I could feel her presence beside as she placed herself to sit on the counter beside me.
I could feel her prying eyes on me.
oh what I would to see those hazel brown orbs roll back when i fuck her senseless. the effect she has on me. things i would do for and to her. these few weeks have been too hard. the sexual tension. we can't stay in the same room without looking at each other. its been too irresistible. today she looked as enticing as ever in those shorts and that tank top. oh! i want to kiss her all over. i want to kiss her? maybe i will go for it today. one time it won't hurt will it?
I reached out to grab the spatula kept beside her. As I reached over to grab the spatula. I felt the slightest brush of her hands over sending jolts down my spine. fuck my conscience i can't
And the next thing I knew I had pulled her by the waist and our lips were inches apart.
"You know I can't handle the tension anymore, everytime something happens, you push me away ."
"Then don't pull away I ain't pushing you today" she said in the most tantalizing voice ever.
And the last string of my conscience tore. I crashed my lips onto hers. I could feel her body arch into mine. As if it was meant to be. Y/n's lips moved in a rhythm with mine hungrily as mine moved with hers. My hands traveled on her body to explore her beauty. I met my eyes with her as if asking for consent. "Can I?"
She nodded. She doesn't know what she does to me. She is like a drug to me I had had her.I wanted more of her. I almost moaned at the feeling as her hands slid up my chest and then traveled to the back of my neck as I felt her hands on my neck I groaned softly. I started trailing kisses down her jaw to her neck. As my hands roamed around her body. I softly smacked her ass earning a moan from her. My lips went back to her lips and they fitted together like a piece of puzzle. My tongue asked permission to her mouth for her entrance and she immediately let it enter. My tongue fighting for dominance along with hers as our tongue danced together for the next few minutes.
It was like a dream come true. To have her, the most stunning woman in my arms. Her body against mine our chests fitting together perfectly, like an interlocking puzzle piece, and I knew that I had found the perfect partner. Our breathing was heavy as our bodies were pressed against one another. I felt my heart beating fast with passion. I could feel her heartbeat against mine as our lips separated to give each other air.
*We looked into each other's eyes and I brushed a few loose strands of her hair behind her ear. Our breathing slowed down and our bodies separated slightly, but my hands still clung to her body. I then leaned my head on her shoulder and I rested on her. My heart was beating loudly and my breaths were still a bit heavy. I felt her hand brush against mine as I wrapped my other arm around her, pulling her closer to me. She snuggled her head onto my chest.*
Then suddenly I could feel my phone ring in my pocket breaking us out of our trance. I immediately snapped back to my senses. As I realized what I had done I immediately let go of her. I ran back to my room.
Y/n's pov
After he literally ran back to the room and left me on the kitchen counter as a breathing mess. I was flustered after kissing how could he just leave me like that? I don't think it was a mistake.
AND HOW COULD HE FUCKING LEAVE ME LIKE THAT?! HE GODFUCKING KISSED ME AND WE MADE OUT AND HE JUST LEFT ME LIKE THAT ON COUNTER AFTER KISSING ME?! HOW COULD THAT JERK. I went back to my room and lied down on my bed. I touched my lips with my hands still tasting his feeling on my lips reminiscing the feeling. I wanted to kiss his soft lips again. The way he ran out I actually thought I did something wrong maybe he is just flustered.
#jake smut#jake fluff#sim jaeyun x reader#jake x reader#whumblr#enhypen fluff#jakefluff#writing#jake enhypen#sim jaeyun#jake sim#sim jake#enhypen#jaeyun fluff#jaeyun smau#jaeyun x reader#enhypen jaeyun#enhypen jake#jake enha#engene#jake
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Primer On Stylistic Elements Of Internet Speak (Zoomerese) (from what I've learned by being terminally online)
This is just text, like, normal fucking text. nothing special about this.
Because base English 🥱 only has support for shouting :O (!) questions🤨(?) and statements ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (.), and we wanted to add new registers of voice :P, (and keyboards limit the ability to add new symbols) :-( a lot of new features to the language have to be made out of other symbols or be made of stylistic elements instead of a dedicated symbol. And since there's no dedicated authority to teach people new abstract symbols, they had to be faces so they could be intuitive. ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ♡
This isn't sARcaSTIc at all, I mean come on, why would anyone EVER want to indicate SARCASM by OVEREXAGGERATING to compensate for """"English not having a sarcasm punctuation mark""""? Like, c'mon, it's not like "/s" or ".~" can also be used AS a sarcmark.~
Oh, yeah? "RanDOM CaPS mAKeS IT sOunD LIkE mOCkiNG" that's what you sound like.
This is TOTALLY post-irony OR meta-irony, where you just, like, SAY what you actually mean but IN A SARCASTIC WAY??? Uh, what is this, some kinda "gen z exclusive" comedy/slang feature?? Like, wow, I guess you would need to do that to "create some distance" between you and your beliefs by giving you the ability to say you were "JuST KiDDinG", or as a "joke" because ""zoomers"" are so oversaturated with content that normal single level sarcasm doesn't work anymore and they need to layer that shit up two or three times, or some bullshit like that.
I'm finna splain txt messg shorthand, aka sms language. its like faster 2 type & kinda gives u a valley grl vibe. itz actually a bit harder 2 learn than the rest of these and I'm not gud at it. kthnx
This. Is. Putting. A. Period. On. Every. Fucking. Word. This. Shit. Makes. It. Sound. Like. You. Motherfucker. Are. Very. FUCKING. Angry. And. Authoritative. (this prosody is also a new [and relatively rare] feature in spoken English as well.)
UwU, what's this? Nya, thiws iws uwu/owo voice! (UwU)! Iwt iws meant towo sowund wike a baby voice, vewy cute (hazawdouswy cute) (UwU!), awnd iws used excwusivewy by fuwwies awnd femboys awnd fuwwy femboys uwu awnd anyaone who uses iwt "iwonyacawwy" iws secwetewy owne nya of those pwobabwy uwu. use at youw own peril (you will wose bwaincewws awnd become gay) nya! RAWR XD
Dis ar teh LOLCAT, it be VRY OUTDATD MEME, but sum bits ov dis style ov brokd grammar an spellin' still appears on teh interwebs in TINY DOSES 2 mak it seem cutr an dumbr or leik a cat 4 ironic purposez, LIEK ONCE OR TWICE PER POST!!!1!1 DO NOT OVAR USE IT LIEK IM U WILL DYE!!!1!1!
uh all lowercase and without punctuation makes it seem childish/lazy which can be used for irony if what youre saying is actually very important or authoritative but you dont wanna sound that way because you are depressed or just wanna feel cute or maybe some other reason idk im just a boy
Exclamation marks (!) indicate excitement and energy! My Dad (ex-typographer) whose really really cool says that exclamation marks (!) mean you're SHOUTING and not to use them!!! And he's really cool, but that's not right anymore because SHOUTING IS INDICATED BY ALL UPPERCASE!!!!!
AAAA WHY ARE WE SHOUTING!?
fUCK CAPS LOCK IS ON THIS LOOKS LIKE AN OBVIOUS MISTAKE/UNINTENTIONAL SHOUTING FUNNY JOKE.
This is Capitalizing The First Letter In Every Word, which is done on Tumblr Dot Com but not much elsewhere. It brings to mind how Titles and Headlines also sometimes Capitalizing The First Letter In Every Word, and gives your post an aura of Authority and to Nounify Something.
Most other parts of the internet™®© do this where they spam copyright and trademark symbols®©™®©© to achieve the same effect as capitalizing the first letter in every word©©™.
>be me
>go on 4Chan.org
>dies immediately.exe
>looks into posts
>discovers entirely unique and interesting writing style called greentext
>ask why its called that
>Get called a "newf*g, desu"
>it's mostly used by incels to gaslight fa/tg/uys and /b/***** (they wouldn't censor that) into reading stories they made up about themselves where they become a sex haver
>literally no one believes that any greentext has ever actually happened
>find incest greentext
>ew.wav
>read it anyways because ******** (utter self-loathing is important for authentic greentext)
>it's just the plot of Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back
>mfw
I learned 4Channerish so you don't have to. Seriously, don't.
(If I've missed anything please reblog to expand our VALUABLE COLLECTIVE EDUTRAINING ABILITIES)
#writing#writeblr#spilled thoughts#cursed#linguistics#anyways i think a lot of this will eventually be adopted into standard english style guides and be considered proper grammar eventually may#also oh I don't know GEN ALPHA will make their own STYLE BS and we ANCIENT VENERABLE ZILLENIALS will be crotchety and confused about it
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my stupid ass accidentally hit unfollow instead of ask button -_- ANGYWAYS like what is UP with c.Cemelo? Camelo>?i forgot how to spell his name the second i looked away from it THE MUTLICOLORED MENTALLY ILL GUYthag one. i have so many questions about him like why is he a freak (lovingly). why is his relationship with the big guy so inasne liek whats theier deal. im so interested (props my chin up in my hands and smiles suuuper wide) i would love to hear about them if u wanna talk about them PEACE ✌ (i mean all this genuiinely btw)
HIS NAEM CHAMELO it’s just Chameleon but also Camilo. I hope that helps..you got it close in the second try. the first one is like cementHe was forced to eat cement at 6. I'm probably going to switch around with his nicknames and name a lot (Chamy, Melo) out of habit sorry if its confusing
ANYWAYS. I'M REALLY GLAD YOU ASKED HI ok. LOTS of words soooo undah da cut they go. Also sorry if a lot of this does Not make sense trust me I don't make sense to myself sometimes
He is a freak because I really like characters like him. He's basically how my thought process works so that probably also means you're calling me a freak too(Lighthearted)
He is horrifically anxious and has got anger issues and is just real irritable in general (And probably more things.?). He has trouble dealing with his own emotions because they're often so extreme, so he does things on impulse despite overthinking a lot. He sorta contradicts himself in his thoughts and feelings and actions. Idk he's weird. Doesn't always know what he wants and has a tough time with communication. Him changing colors involuntarily depending on his mood doesn't help either if the person he's talking to knows which colors go with what feeling. He tries his hardest to hide his emotions when he wants to whether it be angry, nervous, sad, even happy, but he also knows he'll always have a dead giveaway if he feels anything ever.
(Note: Optional reading in this next part I ended up rambling↓)
I do worry about him getting so worked up because I don't want people to think that I think feeling emotions is dumb or whatever because I tend to like. Make him accidentally funny or play it off as a joke. And then I remember he feels like I do so I don't care if people get mad at me for having a character that gets upset or jumps to conclusions over little things or has a lot of inner monologue that's just freaking out because I do that a lot too. I like when I can relate to characters, I like to put things about me in my characters. People have told me that a lot of my characters have very real personalities (I LOVE WRITING PERSONALITIES) so I think I'm okay. It makes me feel extra happy when people tell me they can relate too. A lot of that didn't explain anything about him actually sorry lawl they call me the rambler
Okey anyways
About him and Diesel (da big guy)....
I don't even know where to start with them goodness gracious they're a mess. I guess when they first met. Chamy got a new job at the stupid dumb pizza place that Diesel had already been working at for a while despite almost Never showing up for (Their boss, Sharlotte, doesn't even give a darn and thinks of Diesel as a "son she never had" so he gets away with a lot). Diesel noticed Melo was new and because he is like a big cartoon bully of course he messes with Chamelo, mainly by stealing his beloved motor scooter thing.
Diesel made sure Chamy saw that he stole it, he wanted Chamelo to see him. If he wanted Melo to try to get back at him, it worked. When he finally caught Diesel with his scooter, Chamelo lunged at him like a rabid animal and they started fighting over it. Of course, Chamelo won through sheer rage and took back his scooter and Diesel hasn't taken it since then, but Melo has to let him drive it whenever they're delivering together (Because Sharlotte thought it was a genius decision to partner him up with Diesel because she thought Chamelo would die).
Chamelo holds a grudge against Diesel over that whole situation, but now he just finds himself instigating a fight with him for literally no reason (There is a reason it is because he is Gay and a Freak).
He then eventually realizes he is Madly In Love with that chimaera guy and has a meltdown about it and can't tell ANYONE or he will DIE!!!!!! And so he becomes incredibly awkward and even more annoying around Diesel
Asker (his friend he doesn't know is his friend) questions him about Diesel because they notice him being weird about him and they find out he likes him but they don't really care but one time they told Diesel that Melo is kind of a freak about him and then Chamelo punched them in the face (I drew it in [this post] except it's in inklish because I thought it was stupid it's sandwiched between a bunch of other drawings sorry. I still think it's funny though)
Umm yeah Chamelo is hopelessly in love and is quite scared about it because he's never felt actual romantic love before with another fish, only his scooter(bc. objectum...). He doesn't know how to deal with his feelings! It's like, a weird mix of hatred and yearning. So like. A hate-love. He wants to keep hating Diesel, he doesn't want to get attached to him but he already is..!! He feels like he's supposed to hate him, Chamy doesn't know what he even likes about Diesel. He wants to stop feeling like this but he doesn't want to at the same time, if that makes sense. He tries to tell himself it's a passing feeling or anything that isn't being in love.
He's scared of what could happen if they ever do end up together, that he might stop being in love and maybe it was just a passing feeling after all, and he's frustrated at the thought of Diesel never knowing about how he really feels. He doesn't know what to do about this, and most likely won't for a while. It's painful and overwhelming for him both physically and emotionally :'(
Diesel still I guess bullies Chamelo sometimes but that is just because he always does that and doesn't know anything about himself 🤣🤣😂😂AAAHHHH AAAAGHHH AHHHHHH AHHH AHHsorry. He is bisexual. He does not know that. He also shows up to work more because of Chamelo. But he also didn't realize that until they had a short one-sided conversation on Squidmas [see here].
Diesel is taking longer than Chamelo to realize he likes him, and honestly I cannot imagine a world where Diesel actually reciprocates feelings. I don't want to say he will but I don't want to say he won't. I don't know how to describe it. Something just happens I guess lol. I'll figure it out
Since then, they've been oh-so-painfully-slowly warming up to each other, still getting mad at one another, still yelling, still fighting, still absolutely Hating the other's existence...but hey...they're together more because they want to be.........AAAGHHHHHHH isn't fighting so intimate😍THEY HAVE TO STOPPPP sorry .Sorry. I'm really normal about their horrendously weird relationship that is taking Forever to get better. It's like slow-burn if you put it at 0.5x speed. Also I wouldn't call them enemies to lovers, they aren't exactly enemies nor are they lovers later That doesn't make sense but I wouldn't know how to explain it. Swagever.
At some point Sharlotte's car and a modded trizooka have to do with them (along with a couple older ocs of mine) but that doesn't really have anything to do with right now. A lot of my drawings of the two are out of order because I'm impatient lol. I want to try to not go through like. arcs? so quickly because 1. I fear the day I run out of ideas and 2. Everything has to end and I don't like the idea of finishing all of my splatoon's lives but luckily splatoon happens in real time so I have a lot of years to go if I'm That determined about my guys LOL Sorry unrelated
TL;DR Diesel and Chamelo's relationship is so complex and stupid it is almost entirely beyond my own comprehension. They hate each other so much that they want to be with each other.
Okay that's all I could think of. A Billion Thankies for asking me about them... Apologies if you didn't really need all of That for me to explain. I like to explain things ❤
#jfc. Sorry that is a ton of words i kept having to reread everything a million times if i got something wrong or missed anything well.#then i will die forever#It is currently 2 am this took me a While. Ok goodnight#ask#chamelo fláje#diesel fintasma
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with relation to your “give queer people queer friends” - some of that for other characters like eddie/gregory/jess may be mitigated as more books give you a chance to add cast (liek if jess has friends in ny, eddie’s childhood friends, etc.) Can confirm it’s a phenomenon - one of my best friends realized he was not straight and most of my post-college friends not from work are also not straight
Oh yeah -- I mean, I have no problem giving the queer characters queer friends, as you say that's pretty well known as something that happens even when sometimes people don't quite know their orientations yet, and seems also quite natural to me. The issue is more that I have trouble tracking people when I'm READING, let alone writing, and I hate when I get to that point in a story where I feel like I have to do a roll call of where everyone is and what they're up to. (I just had to do this in Twelve Points because Caleb, Jerry, Alanna, Lachlan, Caleb’s BFF Ava, Jes, Michaelis, Noah, and five of Noah’s school friends are all in Turin for Eurovision, and I more or less have to keep tabs on all of them. Why did I do this to myself?)
Some of it is also that if you read romance novels, particularly in a series, you get a significant amount of "Here are eighteen people you won't see again until the next book" and/or "here are updates on the people from the eighteen previous books" and I end up just skipping those bits because I don't remember them and also don't care, which makes for a suboptimal reading experience.
I didn't do it on purpose but absolutely the fact that Eddie and Jes were both coming to the country basically solo (I mean, Jes had Noah and Lachlan, but still) was helpful in the sense of not having to build up a huge cast. But yeah, Jes has a whole network in New York, Eddie has a ton of surf and food industry friends in California, and the royals certainly have various social circles -- other royal cousins, Gregory's Fashionable Queer Friends that Michaelis references at one point, the MPs that Gregory and Michaelis have both dealt with, Palace staff, etc. I'm just bad at bringing them in.
And honestly, it's not that I wanted Caleb alienated but I wrote him a fairly simple life on purpose -- he doesn't want to be famous, he wouldn't mind being a little richer but he has built a life for himself and has what he needs, and it's important to him that his life is his, not dictated to him by others. Sometimes when you're building that kind of life for yourself, you have to make room for you first, and add others in slowly, and only if they understand.
Still. I'm going to do a pass when the novel is done specifically to give him some more pals :D
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heya! Hope ur doin alr moon :3 may I request luz x reader headcanons (as in js how a relationship with her would be liek) have a nice day yo! 🐢❕
-💤 a.non
Hello 💤 anon. Sorry that it took me this long to write your request, I've just been working in some personal stuff and didn't have the time
Anyway, it will be a delight to write this :)
Romantic or platonic?: Romantic
Readers gender: gender neutral
Type: fluff
Ps, sorry if Luz is out of character, I usually don't pay that much attention on how people act in relationships/ how they act on a daily basis.
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As we see in toh, Luz is very energetic. That's why I think she'll be excited every time you interact, dating or not (in this case, you are dating)
Loves to give you all types of nicknames in her native language but also slips a couple of English pet names
Will constantly leave you messages, voicemails, videos, pictures, the list goes on
I feel like her main love language would be quality time, dunno why, it just feels right
So expect her to be by your side 24/7
She's also very into PDA. Will constantly kiss your cheek, hug you, hold you hand, etc. etc.
But if you're uncomfortable with PDA she would tone it down a bit. But she will still lock pinkies with you, that's for sure
Now, if you're a witch her reactions and or the way she spends time with you depends on what track you're in
If you're in the abomination, plant and construction, she would watch you practice with hearts in her eyes. Will constantly be cheering you on (even if it is just practice) and will comfort you if your abomination just doesn't look right, or your plant seems to not be symmetrical, or the ground just seems a bit too sturdy for your liking. Doesn't matter, she's there to comfort you and give you words of encouragement
If you're in the illusion, oracle or bard, she would giggle in delight at everything you do. And again, will comfort you either if your illusion doesn't look quite realistic, or the ghosts don't seem to have a good enough connection for you to understand them, or the (instrument of your choice) is slightly off key and you can't seem to get it right. Will pose for you if you're doing illusions, will not engage in any sort of oracle type spell and will listen to you play whatever instrument you use
And, finally, if you're in beast keeping, potions or healing, she'll be your test buddy (even if you refuse for her to even come near you while you're doing a spell). If you're into beast keeping, she's the one that will go near the animals while you're doing your spell, to test if your spells are actually working or not. If you're into potions, she will read the ingredient sheets and will give you the things you need for whichever potion you're making (also will drink it when you're not looking). And, if you're into healing, every time she cuts herself or has a bruise, she's running to you (sometimes purposely cuts/bruises herself while on a mission with eda just so that she can grab your full attention)
Buuuttt, if you're a human like her. Expect her to teach you all of the glyphs and glyph combos as a date/study date. Will rant to you about how cool the Boiling Isles are, doesn't matter if you've already been in the Boiling Isles or not
As I mentioned. Her favorite types of dates are study dates, likes to study with you for the upcoming test and likes to teach you some glyph combos. But, that's her second favorite type of dates
The first on her list will always be carnival dates or arcade dates,just gun dates in general. She loves seeing your face light up as you win a prize and squeal in happiness
Likes to draw you in her sketchbook sometimes
Sticks stickers to your face when you're not paying attention or when you're too focused on something. And when I say stickers I mean like- star stickers or heart stickers
If you're a deep sleeper. Expect her to stack random stuff on you
Example:
Your eyes slowly flutter open as you let out a groan, feeling something heavy on your chest. You shifted slightly only to hear Luz yell
"Wait! Don't move!" You squinted at her, your vision still being blurry from all of the light in the room
"Why." You mumbled, reaching your hands towards your face as you wiped your eyes, slowly focusing on your surroundings
You stared at the pile of random shit on your chest. From what you could make out, there seemed to be boxes, pillows, small blankets and- was that your palisman?
"What- how??" You asked in pure shock and amazement. How was she able to stack all of those things on top of you?
"Magic?" She said in a questioning tone, not sure herself on how she managed to do it
Is the kind of person to braid your hair... But in an awfully bad way. Like- she could be doing only one braid and she managed to knot it in ten different ways. Dw, she fixes it, but the part of your hair that was messed up will be numb for the rest of the day
Likes staring at your face a lot. You two could just be cuddling in bed and she'll stare at your face, trying to memorize every dimple, every spot, basically every single little detail that no one pays attention to
I don't really see her as a morning person.. but I don't see her as a night out either?
Like, she will groan and refuse to get out of bed in the morning, and when it hits a certain time of night, one moment she feels sleepy and the next she's out like a light
That is unless she is playing some sort of horror game. You get your ass she isn't going to sleep until three AM passed (like that has to do with anything)
Either way, if you're a human or not, she treats you the same :)
Any what I mean by 'the same' is that she showers you with affection either way
#toh x reader#toh#toh luz#toh luz x reader#luz noceda#luz noceda x reader#toh hcs#dating hcs#dating headcanons
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i lied i cant shut the fuck up so here ya go
alr so
i was overthinking uno's hand tattoo :D
ive already talked about his chest mark n all, and anyway his chest/back marks, neck and face are pretty uhh solid? idk a better word
but they somewhat make sense, they give Uno the feeling he's not like other humans, and there's something wrong
honestly, i don't see much to talk about his eye thingy, but his neck thing got me thinking aswell
it is like a wire around his neck, and it feels like its containing something, making it be inside of him, like keeping his blood thirst hidden, and it would be a very cool thing if it deformed when he was full (like closing all way around his neck) or when he was about to snap (fully disappearing or taking my hc, be the start point to his face turn black and his hair turn white)
(wonky af but i did this in like 2 minutes in 2023)
i kinda lost myself i was gonna talk about his tattoo...teehee
but anyway, his tattoo is not natural, it doesn't give any "vibe", its not deformed or wonky or aligned w the rest of the design
and honestly, as a Uno lore expert (self entitled) i cant see any plausible reason on why he was born with that, so i can see it being just a silly lore, like
there was a tattoo artist in the village and they made it for Uno so he would feel more welcomed, something like that
or
we can take in consideration that the hand tattoo is not visible on any lore art, and imagine he gets it...after he joins grand chase
the tattoo is a dragon about to bit it's own tail, devouring itself, hurting and harming itself...just like Uno does (btw i rlly liek this text..)
i am really enthusiastic about this piece of art by tag-devilish and it reminds me A LOT about his tattoo
(it is actually what got me thinking, i was looking at his tattoo render i did for my own tattoo and this piece was roaming around my head meanwhile, lmao)
i'm not sure how or when he would get it canonically with grand chase, but for me, it would be so cool if he decided to get it as a symbol of strength, as motivation to be a better person and give everything he was to not hurt anyone, not even himself, and take care of loved ones, like his bad cycle is about to end
because he found his saviours and he will be again surounded by people who love him and wish him well.
his tattoo is just a reminder of finishing the bad cycle of his live and making him be sure everyday that to be loved is to be changed, and its okay to make bad decisions, but always make effort to be better and show youre not the same from that time
(do i need to say i cried writing this. do i really now. thats all i do when talking about uno)
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Hello! Thank you for writing headcanons about Sunder, Pharma, Overlord and Trepan. Your takes on them were nice, especially on Overlord and Pharma. Kinda feel like Pharma just being a normal guy who accidentally got in a bad situation isn’t depicted too often? So yeah, thank you!
Hiii, No problem at all.I love writing headcanons so much, I get to liek actually sit down and think about a character and what it'd like loveing them, It really helps in understanding a character in my opinion. If you ever want more headcanons please do request them! These were so much fun! SO thank you for requesting!!!
I did a lot of digging and thinking about Pharma, i touched up on his lore and basically just saw how he was a normal guy working with Ratchet until Delphi, which really sucks but I do think a lot of the Autobots are like that. Normal guys until something happens and they take a turn for the worst. All his interactions with Ratchet and others are just so normal, my biggest example was when he tried asking Ratchet on if he should go to Delphi, that is what started it all to me! His closest and most trusted friend didn't even hear him out before leaving, which later leads to what I think is his loss of a support or stable person that is ACTUALLY good. Delphi causes him to take such a worse turn its just saddening to me, because at times Its like he doesn't want to do what he does, but its the only way for him to secure the Delphi station and his life. Tarn is just not one of my favorite so maybe thats why I think that.
You mentioned people not writing Pharma just being a normal guy who was put in a bad situation, I don't think people do that a lot for any "Evil" characters unless its already said by the original creators. I think it should be done more often, it kinda give a better or different look into the character that way. Looking straight at Pharma's actions and lore you'd think he was born to made to be like that. Which is just interesting to me, Maybe that's why I lean more towards the "evil" characters in medias, their characters devlope so intesntly in short notices that its fascinating.
I've always loved Overlord, I kinda distanced from him for a while but he will be my number 2 con, right behind Soundwave of course. SO I've always thought Overlord to be different but also like still crazy, I just wanted to get the point across that he likes you, but is still coo-coo. He does do much in my eyes in such little time that I just want it to feel like he's there with S/O but also like not fully, S/O has a quarter of him, WHILE he willingly hold onto the other bits. He just has such a hardshelling he doesn't want S/O to get lost in it, which is why I think he preferes the Asshole like BF role for literally anything, he cares deeply for S/O but is also still trying to battle things himself, which leads into the constant in his life hc. Something goes wrong he can alwasy count on S/O to still be there. Something that is permeant for him, which I think he needs.
Anywyas thank you once again for requesting and reading this rant!! I hope you have a great day!
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😈, 🛒, ✨, ❌, and 👀!
😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?
Every time Jacqueline mentions @shittyelfchild in Frostmas, it is done on purpose just to hurt @shittyelfwriter because I love her >:)
I also made Blaise 6'1 just to be mean to Richard lmao. That was recent and a delightful overdramatic petty moment!
🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.
evil uncles. this one confuses me a lot. my uncles aren't evil, they're just. you know. thy suck. but they aren't evil and haven't like done anything bad to me? one doesn't like me and the other one is too right leaning for my liking most days (and also very inappropriate with jokes tbh)
i do a lot of fluff and hugs and such. i like hugs and fluff. they heal me as much as taking a bat to glass did sunday! lots of setting matching the atmosphere, like pathetic fallacy but instead of weather it's the location, location, location!
i very much enjoy imagery that's like. idk how to explain it. but it's like this:
SHIT LIKE THAT!!!! kills me dead EVERY TIME. I LOVE IMAGERY.
✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉
My dialogue fucking SLAPS. I am so fucking witty with these fucks it's ASTOUNDING.
❌ What's a trope you will never write?
ANYTHING miscommunication related. ESPECIALLY if it's v stupid like y sees x talking to z and hears something out of context and instead of asking them about it, ghosts them and dips. HATE that, REFUSE to write it!!! AH! IF IT'S GONNA BE MISCOMMUNICATION, IT'S GOING TO INVOLVE HUGE ELEMENTAL/MAGICAL BLOWOUTS. AH.
👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!
hehehehe okay okay okay. Okay. Okay. This one wip. That I have yet to start. BUT AM GOING TO START. Is STEAMY. Involves the following:
dite and jacquie spending the night together for the first time in the traditional sense (they fuck)
dite is the goddess of pleasure. so. it's mind blowing.
so much so. jacqueline straight up sprite sleeps about it
dite thinks she fucked her gf to death. she goes on an adventure and learns about sprite sleeps from, regrettably, jack
when jacquie wakes up she's MORTIFIED but dite is v good at like, spoiling her and they spa about it and she's like okay this was pretty amazing, i just had sex so good it knocked me the fuck out
THEN SHE LEARNS IT'S A) BEEN 3 DAYS AND B) DITE ASKED JACK ABOUT SPRITE SLEEPS AND TOLD HIM W H Y
JACQUELINE IS LIKE THIS IS MORTIFYING HE IS GOING TO ROAST ME I NEED TO HIDE AND PROMPTLY GOES TO SEE MELUSINE OF @kscribbs's fic Miller's Law fame (which, if anyone reading hasn't read it, please do! K is a brilliant writer and I LOVE LOVE LOVE ML sO MUCH. IT'S GOT ME AS BAD AS DITE GOT JACQUIE)
Idk why she does this, Jacquie just told me she goes to see mel about it and Mel was like "absolutely she does" and I went "cool, gr8, let's see how this goes"
Well, Mel makes her a cupperty and they chat and like she feels less mortified after Mel roasts Jack probably and then Mel's like "woman. you got shagged so good you literally went into a coma. let's celebrate that"
AND THEY DO
AND THEY GET VERY VERY WASTED ABOUT IT
AND THE NEXT DAY JACQUIE WAKES UP LIKE HA! THAT FUCKING HAPPENED! OH SHIT I MISSED ELLE'S BDAY
and when she texts Elle and explains why Elle is liek FUCK YEAH BUDDY, HIGH FIVE, GIMMIE THE DEETS AND LET'S CELEBRATE ABOUT IT
I have yet to start it but I KNOW the beats and some of the best lines of dialogue (my favourite being "I love your dress! It looks good on you! But it'll look even better on my bedroom floor >:)" followed by a squeaky 245 and Jacqueline going "sorry, it's going to WHAT?!?!"
My god. She's so funny. She gets so flustered around Dite. What a nerd >:)
ANYWAY THANKS FOR THE ASK! SORRY FOR THE RAMBLES, BUT ALSO NOT SORRY LMAO. I am dying to write the above thing but have yet to find the time/open the doc/work out the kinks of the mel and jacquie bits, but my god do I want to have this thing existing. it's so, so fucking funny ajhdfuiehorjeo
#dani answers#someheroescarryfloss#ask box shenanigans#long post#sorta#cs snips and wips#writing#ty for sending!!! :)
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i really don’t want to read the seven husband of eleanor hugo but i want to know what happens. why is it so bad like i assumed it would be but i need to hear the exact specific shitty details!!! (if you don’t mind sharing)
*Evelyn Hugo, not Eleanor
(Scroll down to my TLDR section if this is too much)
But... to start off, I need to stay that it's written by a straight, white woman and it is about... a lot of women of color. And the "soulmate" relationship in the book is about a lesbian and a bisexual woman and the bisexual woman is best friends with a gay man.
So, the author is writing about a lot of things she doesn't... really have experience with. I've given my complicated opinion on "Own Voices" which is that it CAN be okay to write outside of your own identity but the onus is on you to get it very, very right. This book... doesn't.
But beyond it just handling race and sexuality HORRIBLY, including a weird line where a gay man admits to always ~a little bit~ wanting to sleep with the bisexual lead and the biracial interviewer admitting she preferred her white husband because he never made her feel like she wasn't black enough (which is VERY odd for a white author to throw in, it made me viscerally uncomfortable).
The book is just... not good. It is EVERY SINGLE "Old hollywood wasn't glamorous, you have to sleep your way to the top and sell your soul" cliche but like... updated to include gay people. The main character's first marriage has domestic violence and her "soulmate' relationship with teh lesbian has the EXACT same patterns of abuse except it's emotional abuse and not physical abuse nad it's just... excused as like? Oh, you know how she can get sometimes...
There's a weird plot where the lesbian is UPSET that her bisexual gf won't be out (WHILE THE LESBIAN GF IS ALSO CLOSETED) IN THE 60S. She's like "Okay, so we might be jailed or forcibly institutionalized and lose our careers, but if you REALLY LOVE ME, you won't be closeted" WHICH IS INSANE. ANd part of the patterns of abuse in the relationship.
The book is fucking boring. It's slog of cliches just mixed in with "But I love this woman so much" even though their love is never really established, just stated. And what we see is the abuse.
There's a VERY weird plot twist where the main character reveals the interviewer's (black) father didn't die from driving drunk. Instead, the black father wa sin a relationship with Evelyn's white gay best friend and the white gay best friend drove drunk, KILLED the dad, and Evelyn moved his dead body to make it seem liek her dad killed himself.
And she knew it was her dad because... he VERY conveniently wrote out a letter saying "I'm a dad, I love my kid, I am also gay for you, but my wife is my platonic soulmate. My name ___. I love you" and the white guy (WHO WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED HER DAD) had the ltter in his pocket?
A VERY weird contrivance.
More weirdness: the book stops, COMPLETELY, to go on SEVERAL like basic diatribes about how like bi erasure is bad, the word whore is used by men to control women, and other like... baby's first feminism lectures. And it feels SOOO proud of itself.
It also stops to be like "You know every historical event between the 50s and present day? Yeah, Evelyn was on the right side of hsitory EVERY time despite being money hungry, dehumanizing to other people, fairly fucking awful to her (Latina) staff, and never once mentioned her politics until the author remembered she was alive during stonewall and the AIDS crisis and that she needed to maek sure you knew Evelyn cared."
The injection of real world events kinda curdled my stomach. Also, the author made sure to say that it was MEN at the frontlines of Stonewall and it's like ???????????????????? Okay, work. Also, die maybe?
The characters are all horrible people but not evne in interesting ways. There's no like complex politics to it. There's not even real nuance to it. It's just like "Evelyn likes to use people but she had to, so it's okay." Which I could get with if she wasn't so otherwise FLAT.
Also, I know this isn't a well organized complaint list, but can I say it is INSANE that the ENTIRE book is about how Evelyn has HUUUGE honkers and htat's why everyone gravitates towards her or forgives her or wants to use her. And then she gets breast cancer and the interviewer thinks "Isn't it funny that the things that got her so far are killing her" and I knooow it's meant to be some like ironic twist of fate thing but idk... it really feels like misogyny. It feels like comeuppance or some weird shit and it made me UNCOMFORTABLE.
TO PUT IT BRIEFLY:
The book is insanely boring and cliche. It is every "Hollywood is SCARY" cliche ever but thinks it's differentiating itself by involving LGB people and people of color but, because it is written by a straight, white woman, it cannot do that well. Every time it tries to smugly diatribe about sexuality, gender, race, class it gets it wrong and makes you feel like you're slowly going insane.
No one cahracter is interesting. The main romance is abusive but doesn't know it's abusive, despite spending entire chapters on how ANOTHER relationship is abusive.
The book is soulless. Isn't particularly well written. Thinks it's smarter and more charming than it is. No one is likeable. No one is funny or sweet.
It runs on shock value but nothing is shocking. IT's the same stupid mistakes over and over again withou tanyone EVER realizing what the REAL mistakes are.
It's bad.
#i gave it .75 stars out of 5#i do not know how to explain how bad the dad died plotlist really is#it comes out of NOWHERE#like YES#it had foreshadowing#but adds NOTHING to the plot#outside of being like 'wow evelyn really DOES suck'#it's just.. bizarre#and feels sooo uncomfortable
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If you have time and feel like doing it then can you listen every episode you didn’t do for two soul chapters and why
(If not then that’s fine ^^ )
Let's start by using the list i already made which cuts off at Bug Busters (really need to update that)
I also rewrite episodes depending on the wiki page, liek, the code thing they have, so you can see the list having these 01, 02, 03, etc numbers, since i thought, hey, that might be the order of the episodes and stuff.
I think this is gonna be longish
So... Newsworthy first.
It's a fun little episode, but it focuses more on Warren than the turtles, and I was too afraid to speculate and add more scenes into it in my earlier days of writing.
It's originally gonna be an episode where Aoi possesses Leo to get out of Hypno's hypnosis, but i thought it was a bit of an overkill, and the backlash isn't really worth it. Plus Warren is the star of that episode, i don't want everything to be all about Aoi.
Same goes for War and Pizza.
It's also a pretty fun story and we get to know more about April, which is very fun. I don't know where to insert Aoi, and again, i feel like i'm taking the spotlight away from her if i add Aoi.
But he's just there, mostly helping by warning Leo and stuff, since he can't influence electronics yet or move stuff.
Plus i cant really think of any ideas I can use for that episode, and i usually have outlandish ideas.
Down with the Sickness is also a pretty tough one to think of a rewrite for, since Aoi is mostly useless again.
Plus it would sort of be a spoiler if i did write it.
And since it's pretty much confirmed that Leo's immune system is shit, he can't really help his brothers.
I will tell you an alternative take on it tho. They basically just lock Leo in his room. Raph and Donnie had to manhandle him to get him inside, which he does not appreciate.
The episode goes almost the same way, except Leo grumpy in his room, watching everything unfold and eventually still somehow gets sick. He doesn't go through the stages of the rat flu tho, my boi collapses, which is the reason why Raph didn't get to say what they want to Splinter cuz Leo was top priority now.
Didn't really feel the need to write it.
Also would you believe i made all that up just now??
What isn't made up is the fact that, yes, i didn't want to write Down with the Sickness cuz of the conventional rule that Leo gets easily sick and i dont wanna reveal that plotline yet.
Repo Mantis is easy to explain
It's simply because it focuses on Donnie and Mikey, so i can't really write Leo and Aoi into the mix, plus Aoi is tethered to Leo, so he can't really leave and watch over the two trouble makers.
Mascot Melee is also a fun episode
It's pretty meh for me tho, i do like the silly little dancey dancey. There's a lot of things going on and it's a bit too silly for me to write Aoi in it.
Last but not the least on the list is Hypno! Part Deux
It's more of an April episode tho. Even with Raph and Leo around, i didn't really want to rewrite it because it's for April, again, i don't want to take the spotlight away from her.
Then it's Bug Busters after that.
I may go back to this once i updated the list tho, maybe add some more info and stuff.
I also really love it when people ask about the process!! Maybe it's jusy because i wanna talk talk talk, but it's fun sharing what's going through my head from time to time
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