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hanasnx · 1 year

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general headcanons.

WC: 0.8k | CHARACTERS: anakin skywalker, reader NOTES: current personal headcanons for anakin that i carry with me through every piece of content i write for him. may misalign with canon content i haven’t read WARNINGS: sexuality details | cursing | mentioned: nudity, media pieces from irl

updated 12.10.22

he wears contacts for battle, but has wire reading glasses he uses alone at home. is no longer ashamed of them as he was when he was a boy, but he has no reason to bring them up in conversation therefore not many people know about them (link to full version)

won’t wear a shirt if he can help it. shirtless when at home, or working out. sleeps naked or in just sweatpants. goes commando. doesn’t like the way clothes feel on his skin especially if the fabric is rough

is capable of cooking, but does not cook or eat for taste. it’s an enjoyable experience to fill his stomach and no longer feel hunger, but the taste of food means nothing to him and eats for nutrition. his meals are bland because he doesn’t care

the only time he is picky when it comes to food is the texture. he’ll not eat something if he disagrees with the texture. things slimy will not enter his mouth. however, he would eat a bug randomly for a “battle pick me up” and say its because theyre “full of protein and nutrients” and he really likes it when it catches people off guard. likes it even more when they’re visibly disgusted

he loves drinks though. at one point he’s introduced to a magenta-colored fruity drink that is not made on any other planet. he’s surprised by how much he likes it, and gets it every time he’s on world.

will not say no to a hot chocolate but it must be prepared a very specific way

his dorm is messy, but he knows where everything is

the genre of music he likes the most and most frequently listens to would be called “90’s alternative and indie rock” in our universe. bands like muse, switchfoot, radiohead, rage against the machine; a little of u2, linkin park, nirvana, deftones, remy zero, vertical horizon. would venture into snow patrol, coldplay. etc.

there’s a song he can’t stop listening to, from a holo-film he can’t stop re-watching called i’m still here from treasure planet. he doesn’t fully understand why. it moved him so deeply he’d have dreams of running through a field and feeling the wind in his hair, using the full extent of his powers in an uninhabited environment to be reminded of what he’s capable of without his life or the lives of others on the line

listens to music when he pilots his squadron on his ship because he feels like it “pumps them up”

heavyweight on the mats, but lightweight when it comes to drinking— is embarrassed of that

he finds himself jealous of people with loving families, but quickly snuffs it out.

loves working out, loves endorphins, loves blowing off steam. makes the room shake when he uses the punching bag. has broken one off the chain with his metal arm when he forgot to pull his punches

uses grown people as weights to bench press as a party trick

sings well but does not sing in front of other people. it’s very gravelly and light as a feather. he doesn’t know how to put power behind his voice, but its pleasurable to listen to if one is lucky enough he hasn’t noticed one in the room

is not a gifted dancer. rhythm does not come easily, nore dance moves. he’s stiff and uncomfortable doing it. and will sit out the entire night during a celebration that features a dance floor and blaring music— however, noble dances with rigid movements and steps he can memorize? considerably better at those

is not the best conversationalist because he lacks a certain class with it. he skips pleasantries and gets straight to the point. direct, blunt, and impatient. lacks a filter.

his sexuality eludes him for the most part, it’s not something he takes a lot of time thinking about. he’s demisexual, so he can only be attracted (sexually or romantically) to someone he knows and has spent time with. anatomy doesn’t matter to him, but he’s more inexperienced with amabs as opposed to afabs. that’s purely coincidental

he’s uncomfortable with emotional conversations and physical touch because he always assumes the other person is uncomfortable with/during it. he struggles with physical attention the most to the point where people avoid touching him because they believe so steadfastly he does not like it. he’s much more reserved when it comes to people that aren’t within his inner circle of companions

as said previously— he has a way of conversation that’s very direct which aids him when he’s inspiring those like his troops and ahsoka. he won’t hide things from them, and he’ll say his honest piece. and he’ll inspire those around him doing it

doesn’t like pets; likes droids bcos “there’s not a mess to clean up”

programmed c-3po to care because he wanted his mom to be cared for and worried about

any vehicle he uses is used until it’s barely holding together. he doesn’t waste, and that includes swapping ships out for a newer shinier one when his latest model can be fixed with a couple new parts and some elbow grease. besides he’s named it, and once he names it, he feels obligated to keep it running til it dies

has a very specific brand of humor and when he finds something funny it’s usually something odd or unusual. his laughter is contagious and sometimes the surrounding circle laughs simply because he’s the one laughing first

acted like a fuckboy when he was a virgin, used it for attention. however he can’t flirt for shit when he’s talking to someone he actually really likes

insomniac. not just because of premonition dreams, those came later. he has a hard time staying asleep

hobbies include: working out, eating a bantha’s share, searching for a cheap thrill like a fix, learning languages, working on ships and droids that require it when he has the time, sparring

x reader hcs. —

he’s gross and he will take your gum from your mouth with a kiss

likes it when you ask him to open things for you or grab something from the top shelf out of your reach

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webginz · 4 months

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when disney retconned the 2003 clone wars they shouldve had a little asterisk that said "ya anakin does eat live bugs and worms tho. that parts still canon"

#and obi wans akira slide

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ragnarlothcat · 2 years

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There’s a short sw story about Obi-wan kenobi in where he’s reminiscing about anakin’s many intricacies and he mentions that anakin never brushed his hair so you were right to make that a recurring theme in your fic nothing compares to you!!

Other things the author mentions that made my heart go 🥺: “his stupid jokes. His bad posture. The way he never folded his tunics & forgot to put on socks. The wonder in his eyes the first time he saw rain. His sideways smile, refusal to comb his hair or wake up on time, the way he picked his vegetables out of his meals, his aggravating habit of losing his lightsaber & staying up too late & the flush that crept up his neck when he was worked up, his mood betrayed by the high color in his cheeks”

And now I am also going 🥺 I think nothing compares to you Anakin doesn't ever brush his hair a) because he is one of my more disastrous Anakins (I haven't mentioned him showering!) and b) RoTS Anakin is very handsome but his hair is a bit of a mess.

I like this story but, and I recognize that I do not actually get a say in canon Anakin's various idiosyncrasies, I wouldn't have imagined a couple of those. I love the stupid jokes, but bad posture? He's a general! People in the military always have good posture, don't they? Also if Anakin is willing to eat random bugs he finds on the ground I think he'd probably be cool with vegetables.

Still, I love this passage. Obi-Wan really loves and knows Anakin and I'm so glad they get to be happy ghosts together forever because otherwise this is too painful to bear. The first time Anakin saw rain 😭 I am weak!!!

#asks #anon #this book would probably make me cry huh #any obi-wan/anakin content will do that #i'm going to sob my way through the bts thing

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silverwings22 · 2 years

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Caught in the Crosshairs: Chapter 17 Flesh: Simon Curtis

Series warnings: Smut, mind control, canon typical violence, childhood trauma, language, chronic illness

Chapter warnings: rough smut, jealousy

Previous chapter:

Next chapter:

"What have we learned?" Miria grumbled as the squad headed off Yalbec Prime. Their mission had been a success, until they'd run into complications.

"That I hate bugs?" Crosshair offered as she dabbed bacta on his arm gently. He'd run afoul of a Yalbec queens stinger while lining up a shot. They'd all been stung at least once, Wrecker taking the worst of it when he'd taken the queen on and cut her stinger off while she was still alive.

"You'd have loathed Geonosis." She chuckled. "There were way more of them. And Obi-wan recounted a spectacularly terrible fact about their queen. Their eggs hatch into these dreadful little worms that crawl up your nose and force you into their creepy hive mind. Happened to an entire ship of regs and two padawans…"

"Kids of yours?" Tech eyed her as Hunter essentially waterboarded Wrecker with bacta.

"Mm. One left the Order and the other turned Sith… I'm beginning to wonder if I'm a dreadful teacher after all." She sighed.

Crosshair wrapped his fingers around her wrist and gave her a look. "You're a fine teacher. They made their choices. You made yours."

She kissed his cheek gently. "I did indeed."

"How's your leg, General?" Tech asked mildly. She'd taken a stinger right through the upper thigh, and limped her way through the fight without her usual acrobatics.

"It'll be fine by the time we get to Anaxes. Crosshair bacta-d me up."

"Only because he'd shoot any of us if we got that high on her leg." Wrecker snarked.

"Yes. I would." The marksman confirmed.

"Behave, boys. We're almost there." She chuckled fondly, and Crosshair sneaked a hand into her lap to squeeze her uninjured thigh. She just smiled at him.

"The regs always need us when they can't handle it." Wrecker smirked.

"Go easy. We've worked with Commander Cody before. And I know Anakin's captain Rex. We'll be in good company provided no one starts any fights. Because I will finish them." Miria chuckled. "Understood?"

Hunter nodded. "Yes, General. You follow, Crosshair?"

The sniper smirked. "I know the rules. I only call the shots when she's naked."

Miria just rolled her eyes and focused on the approaching descent. Anaxes was the biggest Republic shipyard in the galaxy, and a major loss here could cripple their fleet. Things must have been worse than she thought, if they were being called in.

Tech approached the airstrip and drifted the Havoc Marauder in like they were in an action holo.

"Now that's an entrance!" Wrecker grinned.

"Look sharp, boys. Here comes the welcoming committee." Miria murmured, spotting Cody and Rex approaching with their team.

Tech dropped the hatch and they filed out, the guys with their helmets on. Miria followed behind the men, hands tucked neatly behind her back.

Cody chuckled. "This, Rex, is Clone Force 99. And General Halcyon, the Mother Veractyl."

Miria smiled. "Hello boys. Sorry we're late. Yalbec Prime was… interesting."

Hunter pulled his helmet off and held his hand out to Rex. "Sergeant Hunter."

Rex shook his hand. "I think I remember you from Christophsis, but it's been a while."

Cody chuckled and looked at Miria. "Yalbec Prime, General?"

Wrecker grinned. "Ever fought a Yalbec male, Commander?"

"No."

Hunter gestured at his knife. "You're lucky. Only way to kill them is one of these. Wrecker here cut the stinger off the queen while she was still alive."

"Which is why they started trying to eat us." Crosshair drawled.

"Technically they were trying to mate with us." Tech chimed in.

Hunter chuckled. "This is Tech, he'll fill your head with useless facts for hours. Crosshair here, however, isn't much of a conversationalist. But if you need someone to shoot a droid from ten klicks, he's your man."

Miria nodded. "So what suicide mission have you got for us, Commander?"

Cody nodded. "The Separatists are somehow predicting our battle strategies. We need to get into their Cyber Center here on Anaxes and determine what algorithm they're using."

Mirias eyes darted over to Rex, who'd stiffened slightly. She felt the burn of anxiety in the Force around him. "That all, Captain?"

"For now, yes ma'am." He said quietly.

"Then let's get moving, boys." She said softly.

Transports were always crowded, but being squeezed up against Crosshair didn't bother Miria too much. Her expression stayed steady as they headed in low to avoid being spotted.

"Why do I feel like there's more that they're not telling us?" She murmured quietly to the sniper pressed into her back.

"How deep can it be? They're just regs." He grumbled in her ear.

"Cross, don't. It's not any more their decision than it was yours."

He huffed. "If they're hiding something, we'll find out about it. We always do."

She nodded, rocketing into the wall when the ship lurched. Half the clones pinballed into each other. "Sorry guys, we've got company." Jesse muttered from the pilot's seat.

Wrecker groaned. "Every time we fly with regs we get shot down."

"Because they don't let Tech fly." Hunter smirked, bracing as the transport started listing to the side.

"You drifted through an airstrip!" The medic said nervously.

"Stop bickering and brace." Miria ordered, trying to get a Force shield up. It was less effective than than she'd hoped, but they all made it to the ground alive when they skidded across the ground and finally came to a stop. Miria coughed into her elbow before climbing out. "Is everyone alright?"

"We're fine." Hunter checked his squad before drifting towards the regs. "Wait, where's Cody?"

A faint groan answered him. Miria peered under the transport. "Cody! Hold on dear, we'll get you out." She turned her head. "He's pinned. Wrecker!"

"Coming, General." The big clone headed for the downed commander.

"He's gonna need help." Jesse started to step forward.

Hunter just shook his head and stopped him. "He's gonna move the shuttle. Just watch."

Sure enough, Wrecker got his hands under the wreckage and hurled it off the Commander, then scooped him up over his shoulder and carried him out of the crater. The shuttle exploded behind him.

Miria knelt by Cody as Wrecker lay him down. The medic scanned him. "He's got internal damage, General. I can cut the pain, but he needs help."

Crosshair fiddled with his toothpick. "The blast gave away our position."

She nodded. "Do what you can to get Cody mobile. Then we need to clear the crash site."

"We're gonna need to put the rush on that. Droids inbound." Hunter turned his head, indicating east.

Miria stood. "We'll buy you time." She pulled her saber off her hip. "Plan 82, Hunter?"

He grinned and pulled his helmet back on. "Battering ram."

Rex stared as Wrecker ripped a chunk of shuttle siding off the wreck. "Shouldn't we move back to a defense position and fire from there?"

Miria chuckled over her shoulder and moved to form a line with her men. "That's not really our style."

Wrecker hoisted the broken panel and the group moved forward, firing around or through holes in their shield. When Wrecker planted it in the ground, Tech started spouting coordinates. Hunter echoed and Crosshair took a step back. Hunter pitched a little silver orb, which Crosshair shot expertly. They scattered electric charges that fried every droid in range.

"Wrecker, may I have a boost?" The Jedi chuckled. He grinned and crouched, letting her take a running leap and step into his open hand. He threw her up and she spun, activating her saber and landing in the middle of the droids in a whirling dervish of purple light.

Rex and Jesse exchanged looks. "I thought Skywalker was wild."

When the last droid stopped twitching, they returned to the group. "Let's get moving. How are you, Cody?"

He smiled faintly. "I've been worse, General."

"Can you walk, dear? We need to move before we call a medical evacuation for you. Rex and I will tell you all about it afterward, I promise."

The medi c helped get the commander to his feet and Miria nodded to Hunter to lead the way. She walked even with Rex, hands clasped behind her. "You're troubled, Captain."

He sighed. "These are my plans, General. However the Separatists are stealing them, they were mine and my brother Echos. It feels wrong… tainted."

She put a hand on his back lightly. "We'll get to the bottom of this. Hopefully it'll bring you some peace."

"Thanks, General Halcyon… it means a lot. Really."

She nodded with a smile. "The Bad Batch doesn't have a perfect success rate for nothing. We'll get your data."

He chuckled. "So, I get why everyone else is special, but what's the Sergeant's deal? Other than he can put up with the other three."

Miria snorted. "Enhanced senses. He can feel the electromagnetic energy from droids, which is more than I can do even with the Force. Plus exceptional sight, hearing, and smell make him an impeccable tracker. He's never been wrong in the two years I've known him."

"Good to know." He smiled a little.

They marched on, Miria taking turns with the regs to help support Cody until they found a safe enough place to rest a bit. Kix called in for the medical evac.

"We have to proceed to the Cyber Center." She murmured quietly to Hunter. "One of them can stay to get Cody evacuated, but that leaves us down two and Rex still isn't being completely honest. I don't mind risk but I don't like flying blind-"

Hunter's eyes slid from her face to behind her. "We might want to get a handle on that, first."

Miria turned around. Wrecker had Jesse lifted up by his collar, Crosshair and the medic squaring off. Tech was watching, arms crossed. She sighed. "Tell me you're not recording, Tech."

"I make it a habit not to lie to you, General."

"Fair. Wrecker, drop him!" Her voice sharpened enough to send a crackle down Crosshair's spine. "That's enough. We're on the same side. Now, stop fighting and let's proceed. If we lose Anaxes we could lose everything."

Everyone looked chastened and Wrecker set Jesse on his feet. Crosshair looked aside, flicking a toothpick between his teeth. "Yes, General." He said quietly. She was upset now, and there were too many witnesses for him to smooth his hands across her shoulders until she smiled again.

Miria looked to Rex, then Hunter. "Lead the way, sergeant."

Everyone tucked their head under Mirias gaze and followed Hunter. Rex was consulting the holo map. "Shouldn't we be going this way?" He pointed.

Hunter chuckled as they crested a hill. "There's an outpost."

"It's not tactical to take a small outpost…" Rex frowned.

Miria chuckled. "Think bigger, my friend. We take it, they send reinforcements, we leave before they arrive, and then…."

Wrecker beamed. "Boom."

"You guys cause a lot of explosions." Jesse commented dryly.

"It's what we do." Tech adjusted his goggles.

"So what's the plan, captain?" Hunter chuckled. "Secure the perimeter and pick them off one by one?"

Rex chuckled. "I think we'll take a page from your book."

"I like your style." The Sergeant chuckled.

Miria smiled. "Wrecker?"

"Yeah?"

"Proceed."

He whooped and barreled down the ridge towards the outpost. Everyone else followed, glittering shots of plasma scrapping metal bodies. They headed up to the comm center and Wrecker rigged it to blow. "This should reduce the mess we have to deal with at the Cyber Center." Tech said.

Miria nodded. "Then let's get moving. Let me know when the droids arrive, Tech."

"Yes ma'am."

They headed down. "Crosshair, you're on lookout when we reach the Cyber Center." She murmured.

He nodded, walking past her close enough he could subtly brush his hand over her. The flash of softness in her eyes told him the message was delivered.

I love you, you know.

"Everyone in position?" Miria was with Rex and Tech. Hunter, Wrecker, and Jesse were preparing to cover their charge to the door so Tech could get it open.

"Affirmative." Hunter responded.

"Affirmative." Crosshair echoed and she couldn't help but smile. As long as he was watching they were fine.

"Tech, let's move. Hunter, follow us down." They slid down the embankment, immediately catching fire from the droids. Miria and Rex covered Tech as he worked his way into the building.

"Come on, dear, we need that open."

"It's a delicate operation, General. You can't just-" He cut off when Wrecker kicked the door in.

Miria chuckled. "Delicate indeed." She pushed Rex and Tech in. "Hunter, hold the door please."

He nodded and they darted unto the center. Miria slashed the droids as they forced their way to the central computer.

"What I am looking for?" Tech sliced his way in casually.

Rex handed him a data drive. "Anything running this program."

Miria stepped over with them as a holo screen raised up. "Got it." Tech frowned. "It is not a program… it is a live signal. From another planet, Skako Minor."

Mirias brow furrowed. A live signal. "What are we getting off of it?"

"Hold on. It's audible." Tech made some adjustments and the garbled sounds of indistinct chatter made them all wince. "It sounds… almost human." Tech murmured.

Miria put her hand on the holo table. She couldn't sense with the Force through the signal, but she heard pain in the voice. "Ask its name, Tech."

"Yes, General." He typed furiously.

The garbled voice seemed to come gather a little strength. "CT-1409. CT-1409. CT-1409."

Miria and Rex locked eyes. "That's a clone's CT number." She said quietly.

"Echos number." He nodded, voice barely a whisper. "He's alive."

"Tech, isolate that signal so we can track it. We need to get back to the shipyard and make our move from there." She ordered, hitting her comm. "Hunter, how are we holding up?"

"They're bringing in heavier droids. How much longer do you need?"

"Withdraw to the landing in the back. Crosshair, we need a ride, my darling."

From his position he glanced over to a droid transport back towards the outpost. "Not gonna be a problem."

Miria nodded as Tech disconnected. "I should be able to track the signal now."

They raced out to help the rest of the team, until Crosshair came barreling up in a stolen transport. "Miss me?"

She chuckled and deflected droid blasters while everyone loaded up before joining them.

"That wasn't so bad, General." Hunter chuckled.

"It's far from over, dear." She sat beside Rex, putting a hand on his pauldron. "Rex, dear… what we've discovered today. Are you alright?"

He looked up at her, trying to bury pain that burst forward through the Force. "I left him there, on the Citadel."

She nodded. "Anakin told me about that mission. You couldn't have made any other choice." Her eyes softened. "If he's alive, we'll get him back. Even if I have to go rogue to do it. My unit has no further chain of command than me, it cuts down on complications."

He put his hand over hers on his shoulder. "Thank you, General…"

She smiled, giving him one last pat on the shoulder before going back up to the front of the transport and sitting next to Crosshair as he piloted.

He made sure no one was paying attention to them, Rex lost in his thoughts and Jesse animatedly chatting with Hunter. "Done flirting with the regs?"

"Don't start, darling. He's hurting and guilty."

"Pft. You could have let his General handle him."

"And you could be a little nicer." She said quietly. "There's no reason to be cruel. Rex is nice."

"Not doing much to convince me you weren't flirting with him."

Her eyes cut to the side. "Find me somewhere quiet when we get to the airstrip, after my report."

"Where?" He was smirking under his helmet.

"Figure it out, you're the one with the eagle eyes. Just hurry, we won't have much time my darling." She got up as he spotted their destination, walking back to talk to the guys.

Once he landed the transport, she lightly dropped out first, waving at Anakin and Obi-wan as they approached.

Obi-wan smiled. "You seem in a better mood since I saw you last."

Miria wrapped her arms into one each of theirs and started walking towards headquarters. "That depends entirely on how long this report takes. Though, would you believe Yalbec venom actually helped my joints?" She glanced back over her shoulder and smirked deliberately at Crosshair.

The game was on.

"I'll run this rescue mission of yours by the Council. But Miria, you know they're very unlikely to approve it." Obi-wan murmured.

Miria was sitting quietly in a chair in the meeting room, rubbing her shoulder. "I know."

"You're remarkably calm about the prospect of being denied." He narrowed his eyes.

Anakin almost busted a gut laughing when she shrugged. "I'm going either way, Obi-wan. If the rest of the Council wants to be angry with me, then they can form a queue to air their grievances." She crossed her legs delicately. "Besides, Anakin has done far worse and they call him a hero."

"Hey!" Anakin flushed.

"No, no. She's right." Obi-wan chuckled. "Miria, I know you're frustrated. But the Order and the Republic-"

"Are no longer my only concern. There's a lot more to the galaxy than I realized during my years in the temple. There's more than Code and Law. I want to do good. I want to serve the will of the Force. And I suspect we've tied ourselves down with pomp and ceremony." She shrugged. "So I've loosened a few bonds. I am as devoted as ever, but in a different way."

Obi-wan thought for a second that he heard Qui-gon Jinn's voice, the way she said it. "This attitude could cost you your place on the council." He murmured.

She chuckled faintly. "Then so be it. I'm doing what's right. Not what is safe…. Maybe if we took more stands in the name of justice, the Jedi Order wouldn't be in this mess."

Anakin glanced at his chrono and groaned. He was late. "Come on, Miri. He can petition the Council and we'll make battle plans." He steered her out, leaving in close to her ear. "I need to comm Padme."

"I need somewhere private, too. Any ideas?"

"I'm going to the barracks and Rex guards the door for me. But there's a munitions room in the back no one ever goes in, and the door opens inward. You can push something against it."

"Perfect. Tell Padme I say hello." She smiled.

Anakin caught her wrist before she could pull away. "Did you mean what you said? About… the Order?"

She nodded. "I'm making my own choices, Anakin. Teachers learn from their students… and I learned from you."

He smiled. "Thank you, Miri. That… means a lot to me."

She smiled. "Go talk to her; Anakin. I've got to deal with my sniper."

He chuckled. "Deal with him or deal with him?"

"Depends on how long he takes to find me." She smirked.

He grinned and let her go. She walked off with purpose, hair bouncing in time with her strides. Was this the same Miria he'd known?

He was scared and lost. The Temple was so big, and he was so small, and he'd never had so much freedom… he didn't know what to do or where to go. It was getting late, and Obi-wan had told him it was okay to explore when he didn't have lessons… but he felt panic rising. He'd forgotten his way back to his room. Obi-wan would be mad, would send him away or hit him like the slave masters used to.

"I sense fear in you, little one." Said a voice, soft and a little raspy, behind him. He spun on his heel, the little braid in front of his ear bouncing and hitting his cheek.

The girl was walking out of a big room, and he saw several little ones younger than him laid down for a nap on mats as she closed the door quietly. She had the same haircut he did, her braid longer and with more beads. Her lavender eyes were kind, though, and the streak of white swept back in her black ponytail made her look softer too.

"I'm not sc-scared. Jedi don't get scared!" He stammered.

She smiled. "It's okay to be scared, little one. You just have to rise above it." She offered a hand, pale and thin but gentle. "Are you lost? You're not one of the crechelings. Here, I'll help you."

He was desperate for comfort and despite his bravado he ran to her and wrapped his arms around her legs. She reminded him of the mother he missed so much, right down to the sad light behind her eyes. "I'm lost."

She gently tugged his hands free and knelt, drawing him into a proper hug. She smelled nice, like tea and herbs and sweet fruit shampoo, when he buried his face in her neck. "Shh. I'll help you. My name is Miria."

"I'm Anakin…"

"Anakin. That's a nice name. Come on, sweet boy. I'll take you back to where you belong. Who's your master?"

"O-obi-wan… but what if he's angry at me?" He whispered nervously, her comfort loosing his tongue."

"I'm sure he won't be. But how about this? I'll tell him you're with me for a special lesson, so he can't be upset. Do you want to go to my rooms for a little while? My master won't mind."

He nodded nervously and took her hand when she stood, letting him lead her down the hall the way he'd come. "You're really nice…"

"The galaxy isn't always kind. But the Jedi should always be. Do you like books, Anakin?"

He shuffled shyly. "I'm still learning to read… I was… I used to be a slave. I never learned how."

"Well, I've got some we can read together, and that's how you'll learn. How's that sound?"

He smiled. "I like that, Mi… Mir…" He frowned over the unfamiliar syllables.

"Miria. But you can call me Miri, if you like."

"Does everyone call you Miri?"

"Only very special friends, Anakin."

"Do you have a lot of those?"

"No. But that's what makes them so special." She smiled softly, and her fingers squeezed his.

Miria tucked herself into the munitions closet and settled on a crate to wait. She fiddled with her comm pleasantly, locking into a private channel that went directly into Crosshairs helmet. "Meetings out. Chronos ticking, my darling."

She heard a low growl in response. "Where are you?"

"Somewhere private. All alone." She teased. "Don't you have that fancy scope? It shouldn't be too hard for a marksman of your caliber to find one woman."

He paused, and she could hear the subtle click of his scope dropping down and him fiddling with the controls. "Activate your saber."

"Using the thermal scanner? Clever man." She crooned. "It'll get warm in here. I might have to take this armor off…"

"Now."

The order sent delicious shivers up her skin, and she drew her blade and hit the activator. "Find me yet?"

There was a moment where she could almost imagine him looking around, pupils blown under his helmet. "There you are. A closet? Filthy girl."

Miria chuckled. "I'm waiting. And to think, I went to all this trouble so we could have a few minutes alone. Maybe I'll leave…"

"Don't you dare, Miria." He hissed.

She deactivated her saber and hooked it back to her belt, getting comfortable and crossing her legs prettily. "Or what, Cross?"

"Or I'll fuck you wherever I find you and damn who sees." He snarled.

"What a perfectly indecent suggestion. Guess I'll stay put, I don't want to share the experience. You're all mine, my darling."

Striding across the hanger with regs bailing out of his way, Crosshair was burning alive under his armor at that one. Hers. Yeah, he was hers. And he was about to be all over her.

He shoved the closet door open so hard he almost ripped it off the hinges to find her waiting patiently. She looked delicious, seated and waiting for him sweetly, hands folded in her lap. "Hello, my darling."

The door slammed closed behind him and he shoved a crate in front of it carelessly before snatching his helmet off and jumping on her, grabbing her face in his hands and dragging her into a scorching kiss. She fell into it, curling fingers into his hair to snatch him closer. He hauled her to her feet and caged her against the wall. "There's my good girl again." He muttered breathlessly. "Where was she at when you were playing around with that goddamn captain?"

"Oh please." She smirked up at him. "The galaxy can have my compassion. But you are the only one I've ever wanted like this."

He liked that answer and kissed her again, squeezing her hips hungrily. "Then let me have you."

"I'm all yours."

Crosshair grinned and pushed her around, back to the crates, and bent her over. "Admit it. I've ruined you for anyone else anyway."

Miria cooed softly as he rucked her breeches down and her skirt up, stepping away only to fumble off his codpiece and pants out of the way. His hands squeezed the plush curve of her ass roughly. "We've been too busy. Missed you." She murmured as he pressed himself sharply into her. Her fingers tightened on the durasteel munitions crate at the stretch, head lolling back with a faint groan. "Cross…"

"Missed me?" He chuckled darkly, leaning over her shoulder and fitting himself fully into her. " Yeah you did. Baby girl you have no fucking idea how bad I've wanted you since Yalbec Prime. Watching you fight like that…"

She knew good and damn well that was the Mandalorian in him talking, but her commentary was shattered by the Mandalorian in her when he moved sharply, slamming her into the crate. "And then you come back to the ship and take care of everyone, like a good little Jedi. Fuck, I love it." He growled, teeth settling into her neck just under her collar. "And hate it. Want all that sweetness for me. Want all of you, just for me."

She held on for the ride as he worked out his frustration and desire on her, panting his name. She knew how this went, knew him better than anyone. He wasn't really concerned anymore that she'd find someone else. He just craved feeling like her only priority, because he didn't ever feel like anyone else's. He needed to feel like someone loved him, valued him more than anything, and Miria was happy to give him that. He wasn't a commander, wasn't even really his own, but with Miria he got to be everything. And the way he best knew how to confirm her devotion was to have her head so shaken apart with thoughts of him that she didn't know which way was up anymore.

So he set a brutal pace, hand twisting in her hair to pull her back into the pretty little arch he liked so much. Her face was utterly blissed out, right next to his, so he pressed a tender kiss to the curve of her mouth that was completely at odds with the vicious way he was wrecking her. He'd give her sweetness later, when he had all the time he needed to impress on her what her love meant to him. When he had time to slip into some fancy jewelry shop and find a goddamn ring to put on one of those pretty little hands so desperately clawing the crate under her hips.

He trailed his free hand down her front, tapping her chest plate before slipping between her legs to work quick circles over her clit. He'd be damned if he came before she did. "Think some f-fucking reg could take you apart like this…?"

She shuddered. "Why w-would I ever l-let anyone else try?"

He groaned faintly and she came unglued under him, biting her lip to keep from screaming and alerting half the GAR that they were there. Crosshair fucked her through it, a few more sharp thrusts, before he was doubling up over her back and squeezing her to him. "Ner cyare." He mumbled against her now damp hair, softening enough to cradle her trembling figure. "You okay?"

She smiled, dazed. "Mnn…"

Crosshair slipped off her and righted her clothes and his, sitting her up on the box and turning his mouth against hers more softly until her wits returned. "Hey. You okay, baby girl?"

"I'm okay." She assured him, taking his hand and cradling it to her face. "Are you?"

He nodded, pressing his forehead against hers. "Just needed you."

"I'm always yours, my darling." She smiled. "Think you can take my orders for the rest of this mission?"

"How much longer is it gonna be?"

"However long it takes to find a POW or a trap."

"Then you need to go to the temple. So Coruscant." He nodded. "I know you're gonna over do it."

"You know me. They didn't come up with that Mother Veractyl thing out of nowhere."

"Just be careful. I want you walking off this mission." He eyed her trembling legs. "A limp is permissible only if I cause it."

Miria laughed. "Okay. One more kiss… I do so hate hiding this, love. Not much longer…"

"I hope you're right. Because as soon as it's over…"

"I'll kiss you on the steps of the temple while I wave goodbye to the bloody council." She chuckled.

"Don't burn that bridge. In case Tech doesn't find the cure fast enough."

"Of all people to tell me to be civil…"

"I know. Shocking." He pulled her to her feet and kissed her once more. "I'm learning."

She smiled and watched him move the box out of the way, putting his helmet back on to look through his filters. "Coast is clear but Kenobi is coming. We'd better move."

"Alright. I need to stall him for Anakin anyway. He's calling his wife."

They slipped out, Crosshair begrudgingly going back to the ship while she made a beeline for Obi-wan.

"Miria, dear. I've just spoken to the council, I'm afraid they don't approve this rescue plan-"

"That's fine. I told you I'm going." She chuckled.

"Expect a comm from Master Koon. He's concerned about you. "

"I'd be concerned if he wasn't." She spotted Rex waiting outside the barracks subtly knock on the door behind him.

Fortunately Obi-wan didn't notice, because his eyes had drifted to her rumpled collar and the rapidly darkening mark on her neck. "Miria…"

She fought her blush. "It's just a mark from a queen's stinger on Yalbec Prime. Don't fuss." She patted his arm. Behind her, Anakin stepped out of the barracks and tossed Rex his helmet. Coast, clear. "I've got to be going, dear. But I'll see you soon." She darted over to Anakin. "Let's go. He's suspicious of me, you're covered."

They both rushed goodbyes and ran off past the older master.

Obi-wan sighed deeply. Trouble since the day they were born, both of them.

"You can't be serious, Master." Obi-wan was twenty one years old, coming together as a knight quickly now. And he'd usually be pleased with himself, but today his master wanted him to spar a kid. A sick kid.

She wasn't a day over twelve and holding her saber tightly as Plo Koon coached her stance. Half her hair was missing, her skinny body held upright by pale skin. But her eyes… Maker did they burn with determination. "I can do it." She said firmly. "Let me try, Padawan Kenobi."

"I don't want to hurt you, Padawan Halcyon."

"You won't. I can do it." She said once more, taking a stance he recognized from his own training. "Show me what you're made of."

#eventual smut #explict #original character #crosshair #crosshair smut #clone force 99 #caught in the crosshairs

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brachiosaurus-on · 3 years

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So I was thinking. There are probably Jedi who eat insects?

What if Obi-Wan’s disgust with Anakin eating bugs isn’t the bugs, it’s that the bugs are still alive and covered in soil when Anakin eats them, off the probably-soggy map.

No, no, Anakin. You need to stir fry them until they’re crunchy, with some spices for flavor. Stop eating them alive! What are you doing, I taught you better than this!

This is now canon to Clone Wars 2003.

Obi-Wan is ashamed to bring him back to the Temple after witnessing that.

#headcanon accepted #headcanons #clone wars 2003 #clone wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #obi wan & anakin #master & padawan #jedi #prequels #star wars #brachio answers

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hahaha1d0that · 3 years

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I really wish Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) was still canon...

Anakin just wanted to eat some bugs🥲

#star wars #star wars clone wars #sw cw #clone wars 2003 #anakin skywalker #anakin eats bugs #just let him be happy #poor obi wan

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tarantula-hawk-wasp · 4 years

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Just some thoughts bc the Anakin eats live bugs jokes Are Funny and that scene is a good one but I don’t think Obi-wan would object to eating bugs because they’re bugs but I think his objections to Anakin (and likely Ahsoka) eating live bugs would be

1. Live bugs - Obi-wan is more attuned to animals than Anakin and I’m sure sensing them dying in your mouth would be unpleasant

2. I think part of him would not want to admit things are that desperate. If you include like Melida/Daan in your canon, I’m sure he ate bugs and rodents etc out of desperation, to Anakin and Ahsoka it probably seems like a successfully foraged meal, to Obi-wan it’s likely a reminder of a time of traumatic desperation. I think that being able to maintain his objections to that kind of diet is a way of clinging to the security and stability of rations and a greater system. If they still have rations then things are still in control

3. In one of the comics I think, Obi-wan gets cave slugs prepared by Dexter Jettster so clearly hes willing to eat cooked things that could be classified as bugs and I certainly think the multicultural Jedi temple would not raise people to scorn such common protein sources as insects

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #obi-wan kenobi

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obiwanobi · 4 years

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senator anakin: but they still have their canon aspects, ie obi-wan is always the most cultured one in the room, and anakin is still feral and eats bugs. so you get jedi master kenobi, not a hair out of place, elegant and refined, and in the corner senator skywalker is eating a worm.

bonus point for people mixing them up and greeting the refined redhead with the polite smile like a respectful politician and side-eyeing the boorish man next to him who insulted them in three different ways since he arrived three minutes ago

#people keep asking if he found anakin on the way and took pity on him #obi-wan's hand on anakin right before he starts saying something regrettable is a knee-jerk reaction now #senator skywalker au #asks #anon #Anonymous

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twilightofthe · 4 years

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Aight, one last serious post for a bit. After that I think I might back off on some rants and stuff that I’ve been doing because I created this blog to be a positive place, and tbh, discussing stuff I don’t like just makes me upset, especially since I feel like I’m just shouting into either an unhearing void or at an audience that is watching and is distinctly unimpressed

Basically though, I wanted to apologize for the slightly salty posts I’ve made recently (and one like, yesterday lol) complaining about how people portray Anakin’s intelligence. I realize I came across as critical and accusatory of people who are just having fun and likely mean no harm, and it wasn’t fair of me to be all snappy about it. So yeah, I’m extremely sorry about that. I likely hurt people and that was not my intention. Please have fun and headcanon Anakin as anything you want. I love and support you and even if we can’t agree, we can def still be friends!

But, I will take this opportunity to kinda ramble a bit about my own personal experiences with this, and why I view Anakin the way I do, what his character means to me, and why it’s kinda exhausting sometimes to engage in fandom because I have the misfortune of having the unpopular opinion regarding a character, and how hard it is to respect other people’s takes when it seems that every time I give my own takes, it’s like I’m immediately shot down for them and refuted for the popular opinions, like I’m not allowed to believe this thing myself. Why I sometimes just gotta rant a little bit, and why no one should take it personal or as a criticism of them.

This below all delves very intricately into my own personal mindset and life experiences. It’s personal. Please remember this is a very personal post.

Now, to me, I totally understand Anakin has made every mistake in the world. I know he turns into a monster and hurts/(in)directly kills everyone he’s ever loved. I know that. I’m fully aware that he makes mistake after mistake after mistake. I know he’s a flawed character. I’m not saying he’s perfect. He’s far from it.

But at the same time, I can relate to parts of his character. His anxiety, his upset at not being able to live up to the standards he feels everyone’s putting on him when really no one is but him, the feeling of being constantly on the edge because you feel like your entire life is in a spiral and you don’t know how to stop it and every choice you make out of desperation makes things worse, how everyone around you just keeps making so much better choices and it’s like, why can’t I do that? What’s wrong with me? Why are they always right???????

And I love the fact that canonically, despite his utter disaster-ness, he has the potential to be good, to rise. That he is a canonical Gifted Kid, mega-intelligent but just totally unsure how to direct that so he flounders more often than not unless it’s in relation to his few specific interests, giving the feeling like I’m a fake and really there’s only one thing I’m good for. The need to do ANYTHING for validation from others because that’s what feeds you.

I’ve suffered this same insecurity and anxiety and self-hatred I can see in him my whole life, the same inability to properly manage my life like I’m supposed to and that everyone else seems to have figured out, how I could be so much more if I actually knew how to rise to the occasion instead of constantly crash and burn

I love Anakin so much because he is enough like me that I can sympathize and feel for him, but also different enough that when I see him tear down the path of self destruction, I can feel relief that I’m never at that point, and also sympathy that he fell that far (amidst my anger at him for hurting my other faves lol)

I LOVE that he has that ability to be smart and capable but just doesn’t know how to apply himself all the time, love it so much, and that’s why it’s a struggle sometimes when I feel that every time I try and say something showing off that side of him, like comment on something smart and creative he would have done, or something he HAS done right, immediately there’s people responding to me like UH NO ACTUALLY HE IS NOTHING BUT A PURE DUMBASS :) :) :))))))))))) HE DOESN’T HAVE THAT ABILITY/WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO THAT BECAUSE IT’S TOO SMART/SENSIBLE/GOOD FOR HIS POOR FEEBLE MIND, PERHAPS YOU MEANT SOMEONE ELSE MORE CAPABLE?

I’m not kidding about this. I said Anakin was a good cook once? I immediately got a response saying no, he can’t be, he’s a feral gremlin who eats bugs. I tried to start a convo about him having an emotional/meaningful conversation with one of his loved ones about something because he notices something wrong with them? Someone instantly refuted me because “nah he’s too clueless and oblivious to have that kind of emotional sensitivity ever”. I write something in a fic that shows Anakin doing something cool? In comes a guest commenter passive aggressively with something along the lines of “oh your Anakin is SO MUCH smarter and capable than he should be it’s almost OOC, but I’ll believe it for now haha”

I’ve got more instances I can recount, but I’m stopping here. I totally respect people’s headcanons, and right to have fun, I do. I cannot stress enough that people can and should write what the want. But to me, when it feels like people don’t always want to ever consider my takes on his character, when it’s like fandom is constantly churning out reminders of how much they believe he doesn’t have a brain, well, like

It’s like, when you relate to a character like that and keep getting your opinions and ways to relate shut down by the majority no matter what you do or say, it just feels like everyone is telling me “SMART PEOPLE don’t ever fail at things! People with REAL gifts and talents don’t ever waste them or make mistakes. If you’re struggling, if you crash and burn, if you don’t quite have your life together, it can only mean you’re just plain stupid and a failure for the rest of your life. As a Fool, you can’t ever be considered successful or do something right— because that would be doing something Smart and you have Proven Yourself Dumb. All of your accomplishments and thing you’ve done right can either be attributed to someone else deemed More Capable, or could have been done better by something else, so those good things don’t mean anything. Since you acted the fool once, a fool is all you’ll ever be.”

I’ve struggled with that kind of talk from other people and especially from my own insecurities my entire life.

And I know that’s not what people really mean, I know fans are just sharing their headcanons. I know no one wants to hurt anyone, they’re just making a joke and having fun! I call Anakin a dumbass all the time! SW fandom is 99% good people who just wanna play with their own toys and gush about things that they love! I know this is like 90% good faith!

But it gets harder to believe sometimes the Dumb Anakin headcanons are just innocent headcanons and not genuine beliefs when people Will Not let me have different ones without playfully— or not so playfully —reminding me of how wrong they think I am and what they think about his intelligence level and abilities.

And because my own personal history with anxiety and self-destruction, being overwhelmed with that talk really just hurts, and I will never be able to make that hurt response go away, no matter how irrational it is.

But yeah. That’s how I relate to Anakin. That’s why I see him this way. That’s why I cannot resist complaining sometimes. I’ve been at a very low point recently and these negative thoughts have just been worse so I’ve been more cranky about it, but I promise I won’t bring it up too much.

Thanks for listening.

I’m probs not gonna post anything “rant”-related on here for a very long time— or do my damned hardest to try not to.

#don’t worry y’all i won’t clog the tags with this #i just wanted to clarify this whole clusterfuck after a really useful conversation on discord #and i just had to get all my messy thoughts out here so ppl understand where i’m coming from #morai musings #one (1) hot mess

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glimmerglanger · 4 years

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17. Anakin/Ben LRPD (Anaaaakinnnnnnnnnnnnnn)

AHA I also thought of Anakin for 17 ( “Ugh, why did I eat that?”) for the meme. You know, I really intended for this to be a light and fluffy piece about Anakin eating bugs (ANAKIN). But uh. That wasn’t... how the muse took me? A mediation on how maybe some things happen to Anakin in both canon and all my AUs. I also didn’t expect this to be this long, but here we are!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ugh, why did I eat that?” Anakin’s mouth tasted like something had crawled inside it and died, and that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was that the nutribar had stuck to his teeth and he could still feel it. In a life spent eating foods that were strange and often of poor quality, he was no stranger to bad tastes, but this was a special type of disgusting, and he grimaced.

“I don’t know,” Ben said, casting him a look out of the corner of his eyes, before returning his attention to the crack in the hull of the older cargo ship where they’d taken cover. “I told you not to.”

“You did,” Anakin agreed, dropping the rest of the nutribar on the ground and wiping his hand on the floor. He should have known better than to eat something that had been covered in a foot of sand and that had - in all likelihood - been sitting in this ship since it went down. That could have been decades ago, based on the ship’s model. “How’s it looking?”

“Mm, I think they’re waiting for all their friends to show up.” Ben shifted back, handing their set of macrobinoculars over. Anakin leaned over very cautiously and peered out, scowling at the figures silhouetted against the sun on the far hill.

“They have to know it’s just the two of us in here,” he grumbled, sitting back with a frown. His stomach grumbled again, reminding him that he had tried the nutribar for a reason, after all. It had been too long since either of them bolted down a meal, or even a few bites of sustenance. “You’d think they’d feel confident enough with a dozen men.”

“A pity they’re not that stupid,” Ben said, a grin turning up the corners of his mouth.

“We should go out there.” Ducking into the ancient ship had seemed like a good idea at the time. But that had been hours ago, and it had started to get incredibly hot while they waited for their friends outside to gather enough courage to charge in.

Ben shook his head. “Not with your leg,” he said, barely sparring it a look. He’d dragged Anakin the last stretch across the hard rock, after the mine took him by surprise. He’d tied a tourniquet around Anakin’s thigh with calm, sure fingers, and not commented at all on the ruin below Anakin’s knee.

“My leg is going to be the least of our worries, soon,” Anakin said. The pain was starting to creep back up his body, but they were running almost as low on medical supplies as they were on food. He could wait for it to get worse before he asked for another shot to push the agony away.

Until then, he purposefully ignored it, thinking about the people outside and the horrific nutribar. Anything to stop from considering the damage done to his limb, the words neither one of them were saying about the odds that it could be saved.

Those odds got slimmer, each moment they were trapped in the old ship.

He didn’t mention, either, the dizziness in his head, or the fact that he was beginning to feel cold all over. It wouldn’t help matters. Ben needed to keep his focus on what was going on outside, on their friends there on the hill.

“You should rest,” Ben said, quietly, reaching out and resting a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. Anakin felt the push of the Force in the words, but couldn’t spare the energy to be irritated. He closed his eyes. He slept.

“Here.” Ben’s voice woke him, along with a soft touch against the side of his face. Anakin blinked his eyes open. His head felt full of clouds. He was incredibly cold, despite the sweat he could feel running down his back. “Drink this.”

He drank without thinking when Ben pressed something against his bottom lip. A bottle. It was full of water; warm, and tasting of some contaminant or the other. He swallowed it greedily anyway, until Ben said, “Sh, sh, that’s enough.”

Anakin coughed, when Ben took the container away. He blinked, working to focus on Ben, who swam in and out of his vision. There was a smear of something dark and wet across Ben’s forehead. Anakin asked, “Where’d…?”

“They’ve set up a camp,” Ben said, taking off his tunic and draping it over Anakin, tucking it in as best he could. “They had sentries out.”

Anakin was pretty sure that didn’t answer his question. He stared at Ben, mind belatedly identifying that smear across his skin as blood. “But the water…?”

“Came from the sentries, yes.” Ben shifted back, reaching for something on the floor. “They weren’t smart enough to consider that I might sneak up on them in the dark. They had some rations, too. I’ve brought you something to eat.”

Anakin shook his head, his stomach roiling at the thought. “Not hungry,” he rasped.

“Anakin,” Ben said, shifting closer, and then his voice was rising in urgency, his hands were on Anakin’s skin, the world was sideways. Anakin blinked up at him, tried to think of something to say, and passed back into blackness.

Anakin woke up next and coughed, his mouth full, unexpectedly, of something that tasted like broth. He was on his back, his head elevated, and hands turned him. Ben said, quietly, ragged, “Force, Force, you’re awake.”

“I’m awake,” Anakin confirmed, when he no longer felt like he was choking. He slumped back. Ben was holding him, he realized, an arm under his shoulders. They weren’t in the ship anymore. There was stone behind Ben’s head.

Anakin blinked, slowly adjusting to the idea that they were in a cave and he had no idea how they’d gotten there. Ben looked… like he wasn’t in any shape to discuss it. There were dark circles under his eyes and a cut across one brow. “You need to drink more,” he said, and Anakin nodded, and put in an effort.

It left him breathing hard, just the act of drinking the impossible broth. He asked, when the cup was empty, and Ben slouched back against the wall, holding Anakin against his chest, “Where are we?”

“In a cave system I found,” Ben said, bringing his other arm up, cupping the side of Anakin’s head.

Anakin nodded against his chest. His blacks were gone, Anakin realized, vaguely, listening to his heart beat. “But our friends outside the ship…?”

“Don’t worry about them,” Ben said, heart thundering under Anakin’s ear, beating too fast. He heard it when Ben swallowed. “I got you out. And I think I managed to get the emergency comm beacon working, too, so. So someone might come looking for us.”

Anakin processed that. It would be nice, he thought, if someone were to come looking for them. “I feel better,” he said, startled to find it was true. He still felt weak, terribly weak, but some of the fog in his mind had disappeared. He wasn’t as cold anymore, didn’t feel like shaking apart. And his leg didn’t…

“Good,” Ben said, voice choked, “good, Anakin, I’m glad.”

“Why do I feel better?” he shifted. Ben felt distraught, upset in a way that always reached right into Anakin’s chest. He shifted a bit, but felt too weak to go anywhere, really. Besides, the beating of Ben’s heart was lulling some part of his brain, dragging him back towards unconsciousness.

“You had an infection,” Ben said, breath hitching, full of anguish and something like horror.

Anakin stared at his skin, at the way his shoulders were shaking, just a little. “In my leg,” he said, carefully, thinking things through slowly, as though if he tried to move too quickly, it would send him back to dreams. “The wounds were infected.” Ben jerked out a nod. “And you found medicine?”

Ben said nothing, not for a long moment, before he rasped, “No, Anakin, I’m sorry. I didn’t.”

Anakin found the strength to lift his head away from Ben’s skin, to straighten his back, the lack of pain from his leg finally fully registering as he looked down his body. He’d lost a limb before. He remembered losing his hand, remembered it in horrifying detail.

He stared, breath frozen in the middle of his chest, and said, numbly, “Oh.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ben repeated, agony in his feelings, “I should have found a way to get you out of there sooner. I should have--”

Anakin groped a hand out without looking, touching Ben’s shoulder, orientating himself. He turned, slumping down against Ben, an arm around his neck. He didn’t want or need Ben’s apologies. It wasn’t Ben’s fault they were here. None of this was Ben’s idea. He’d just… followed Anakin, into this entire mad campaign.

All Anakin wanted to do was press his face against Ben’s skin and breathe there, pretend the last few days - he had no idea how long he’d been out - had ever happened. Ben wrapped both arms around Anakin’s back, fingers clenched in his robes, and, at least Anakin knew now where the smell of lightsaber char had come from.

“It’s alright, Ben,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut, hating the horror he felt from Ben, the pain, the agony. He meant to say more, but his reserves were so limited. He fell back into glorious blackness with a feeling of relief.

The next time Anakin woke, he rasped, “I’m thirsty.” He was hungry, too, for the first time in a long time. The air felt cool on his skin and he cracked his eyes open, expecting the cave and getting, instead, the clean likes of a ship.

“Here you go,” a familiar voice said, and it wasn’t Ben. He jerked all the way to wakefulness, sitting up as Ahsoka sat on the side of his bed, holding out a glass of water. He stared at her for a moment, until she nudged the glass against his shoulder.

He took it, carefully, and raised it to his lips, drank it down, before he finally said, “Snips.”

She smiled at him, softly. She looked different, almost grown these days. Her cheeks had gotten sharper, her montrals taller. Her lekku fell almost to her elbows. She said, her voice changed, too, as she grew out of childhood, “Skyguy.”

“What are you doing here?” he asked, because that seemed to be the biggest question. “Where is here? And where’s Ben?”

“He’s right there,” she said, gesturing to the side. Ben he found on the next bed over, hooked up to nearly as many machines as Anakin appeared to be. “Neither one of you were in great shape when we found you. And this is… my ship. I guess. And we’re here to rescue you, of course.” Her expression shifted to the side, darkening. “I’m sorry we didn’t make it sooner. Before…”

Her hesitation brought back memories Anakin’s mind had temporarily shut away. He shifted, pulling at the blankets they’d put over him, gazing down with a cool feeling of shock spreading through his chest. “I’m so sorry,” she said again.

Anakin reached out, ran his hand down what was left of his thigh, shuddering a bit. He said, feeling far away and distant, “Looks like he did a pretty good job keeping it even.”

“Master,” she said, quietly, reaching out and touching his arm, “if he hadn’t--”

“I know.” Anakin looked up at her, tried to smile and didn’t quite manage it. “The infection. I know.”

She stared at him, head cocked to the side a bit, as though expecting him to rage. He’d taught her to expect that, he figured. It was his own fault that she was holding herself cautiously. He looked away again, cleared his throat. “Guess I’ll be heading back to the Core for a while. Maybe you could give us a lift?”

“Sure thing,” she said, standing and hesitating, for a moment, before she bent to press a brief kiss to the top of his head. “I’ll lay in a course.”

Anakin waited until she left, until the doors closed, and then pulled the blankets the rest of the way off. He poured himself another glass of water and drank. There were tubes in his arms, hooked up to a nutrient solution. He carefully pulled the solution off of it’s hook, and then stood, balancing with the help of the Force.

It wasn’t far, thankfully, to Ben’s bed. Less than a step, really. Anakin re-hung the nutrient solution and sat, dizzy a bit from the effort. Ben made a little sound, questioning, in his sleep, and Anakin could see the bandages across his body, evidence of a fight he’d missed.

He stretched out carefully, Ben curving around to make space, like his body knew the position they took when asleep. Anakin exhaled shakily against the back of his neck, curling an arm around him, so careful with all the tubes attached to them both.

“Anakin?” Ben murmured, thoughts fuzzy, not all the way awake, but getting there and quickly. He stiffened, muscles tightening against Anakin’s chest. “I’m so--”

“Sh,” Anakin said, pulling him closer, wanting -- wanting things he couldn’t have and one thing he could, the comfort of Ben’s body close to his, the comfort of knowing that Ben had saved his life, the comfort of the smell of his hair and the softness of his skin.

He closed his eyes. He slept.

#my fic #lrpd verse #anakin and ben #warning for off screen loss of limbs #glimmer replies #ask me anything #MORE ANGST THAN ANTICIPATED I'M SORRY

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