In addition to fake hormones because my body is ✨inadequate✨ I also start metformin today. The emetophobe in me is petrified and I already feel nauseous even though I have not even taken it yet. The only good news is maybe I will be ✨skinny✨ and not have a PCOS fupa anymore. The bad news is I will likely stay up late crying and having a panic attack thinking I will be sick. Maybe I’ll be writing and drawing stuff for distraction or maybe I’ll disappear for a month because I have poor coping skills.

Got my haircut today!

As promised, updated photos.

I feel normal again! We cut off 4inches of hair.

DIABETIC PEOPLE!!

I am type 2 and I’ve been struggling, like a lot. My numbers are high of course and I need help. I’ve been diagnosed since last august, but the drs theorized I’ve been diabetic for years (I was also tested at 12 and I’m 29 now 🙃)

Anyway I need meal ideas, or a meal schedule and a general grocery list to stick to. My son and boyfriend aren’t picky thankfully and none of us have food allergies. Can someone send me some ideas? Anything? I’m desperate!

I'm not diabetic, but [unfortunately], I'm an expert

All you didn't want to know about Diabetes Mellitus

All you didn’t want to know about Diabetes Mellitus diabetes mellitus is a disease in which the body’s ability to produce or respond to the hormone insulin is impaired, resulting in abnormal metabolism of carbohydrates and elevated levels of glucose in the blood and urine. It’s also a disease that can change your life if you let it. There are two types and they are very different. Type 1 is a…

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I'm sick of the moraliazation of illness/disability. I see it a lot when it comes to type 2 diabetes. I'm sick of the idea that it's just "fat person disease." Talk to pretty much any doctor and they'll tell you that the main factor in type 2 diabetes is genetics. My mom's side has a higher likelihood for type 2 diabetes, my dad's side does not. Despite my dad being extremely overweight for much of his life, not even a sign! My Nan had some weight gain in her 50s, not that much from how much she weighed, and she ended up with it. There's no "right" way to be ill, I'm tired of the stigma around the idea that a person "does it to themselves" and thus is okay to ridicule and not listen to. In fact, Weight in general has more to do with genetics than most other factors! Think about how many people live off redbull and fast food and don't gain weight from it! And even if someone did get sick because of their actions, you shouldn't go around ridiculing them over that!

I HAVE TO DO RESEARCH ON THE PRIME ENERGY DRINK AND I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY CALLING IT CRED 😭😭😭😭😭😭

But like

Why chronic illness?

Why chronic fatigue?

Why body suck?

i don't mean to keep griping in your inbox but can you imagine being in a full adult conversation, as a man in wwii, the three of you have been directly involved in a goddamn war, like a real one, and are carrying around trauma, and you're joking with your full adult pal about his fiancee and you demand scotch, a lot of it, because you're 26 in a war zone, and there's a slight pause until your boy best friend pipes up and goes "yeah, and a quart of ice cream" as if that's a serious thing any man would ever say

Dick Winters, central Pennsylvanian Dutch with a stomach of steel: Ice Cream please

Lewis Nixon, lactose intolerant, insulin resistant, fatty liver, high cholesterol, and a type 2 diabetic by 40: Unfortunately, this is the love of my life.

You guys ever know that person who is "always tired" and "just don't feel good" but they're always drinking some sugary ass drinks and eating some sugary bullshit and likely exeriencing insulin resistance which causes sugar addiction/dependency. They cant seem to stop drinking those drinks right? Bcuz their bodies want them to consume fructose to generate the insulin that their bodies have grown resistant to. Unfortunately ..... Excess fructose also gets converted to fat in the liver </3 a million other things. Since insulin is a hormone, and sugars effect insulin, they effect other hormones as well!! That's the easiest way to put it. This worsens a great deal of problems especially in women..also, excess fructose happens to make it more difficult to process and absorb iron which will cause anemia which can lead to hypothyroidism etc etc

But that person is just always tired from working all day. Right? Have they tried changing their diet? Oh it didn't work? Did you stop consuming sugar for 3 months or 3 days jackass? Oh you didn't stop consuming sugars? Hm. I'm sure that has nothing to do with it

You tell people this literally trying to help and they act like you're a bitch or somehow being condescending

Once again wondering if I have PCOS or it’s just my thyroid et al

Saturdays and sleep. It's a lifestyle.

facial hair is cool and the only reason people make a big deal about hirsutism is because of misogyny

Obesity Flies

A new fruit fly model for investigating obesity-related disorders of mammals reveals molecular mechanisms underlying insulin resistance

Read the published research article here

Image from work by Zhasmine Mirzoyan, Alice Valenza & Sheri Zola, and colleagues

Department of Computational, Cellular and Integrative Biology (CIBIO), University of Trento, Trento, Italy

Image originally published with a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0)

Published in Disease Models & Mechanisms, November 2023

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Christians be like intelligent design this and intelligent design that!

Idk man not being able to properly digest sugar seems like a pretty big design flaw to me.

I’m waiting for the patch update.

I miss being able to do more than 3 things in a day.

There's something wrong with my body, with my brain. Something I haven't put a name to yet, though I've got hypothesis of what it might be. Something is plaguing my body, weighing down my limbs, my heart, my head.

Do you ever feel as if you live your life wading through water? Like you've been drowning for years, chained by your ankles to am impossible weight, struggling inch by inch across the open ocean floor?

Probably not.

I'm starting to realize the way I live is far from mundane, farther still from humane. I struggle to eat. Struggle to shower. To stop. To rest. Like a shark underwater, I swear on God it feels if I stop moving, I will drown.

I can't stop moving, can't sit still, can't escape the static that starts to stutter up my spine the moment i try. It hurts to sit more than it hurts to move, more than it hurts to grind my own joints into dust, chasing the slender phantom of nervous system regulation.

Stimming, I'd said. That's what the pacing is, that's why I have to stay on my feet from the moment I leave my bed, that's why I can't ever, ever sit still.

I'm not so sure about it now.

It hurts to sit still. Hurts to move. Hurts to think and think and think, to have ideas, to want to Make, but to be denied release by the exhaustion that plagues my body.

I'm tired. So tired. I am tired of feeling tired, of feeling both everything and nothing at all. Nervous system circuits short circuiting inside me, I'm impatient with my own exhaustion, desperate to do anything except to search for rest. No one has ever taught me how to rest.

There is something wrong with my body. Something I'm trying to name (something that the doctors will claim is nothing at all), something haunting me, parasitic in its nature, in its pupputeering of my aching, shaking hands.

I want it to get better. Want to stop feeling half dead and less than alive when I rise to greet a day that's almost over. Want to stop seeing the disappointment in my mother's eyes when once again, I cannot gather myself into some semblance of humanity long enough to do the god damned dishes.

I'm trying to fix this mom, I promise. Thank you for doing the dishes for me. I'm sorry I can't get better fast enough. Yeah, I'm tired of my bullshit too.